#they're both flawed to a different extent and in different ways

[polarpasteque]

Correct me if I'm wrong because English isn't my native language but I've got a funny explanation for fandom meta :

When I say I'm a Starscream apologist, it means "I see him committing many crimes and still love him. Maybe I love him because he commits crimes and I support women's wrongs"

When I say I'm a Rodimus defender, it means "I see him committing crimes and deny that they're crimes in the first place. Your Honour my client pleads not guilty"

Basically imo the line between character apologist and character defender is very thin and you cross the border by going nuh-uh when someone brings up said character's flaws.

[marinecorvid]

also i think summer pokemonranger is a person people lose their minds over. not necessarily in a romantic way but she's very (unwittingly) good at existing as a replica and/or mirror that dredges up feelings in people, oftentimes who would prefer not to think about said feelings and so for lack of emotional maturity people tend to freak out both around and at her over it. unfortunate side effect of being incredibly sincere, despite her best efforts

[tiredandoptimistic]

What I think works so well about Clary and Isabelle's friendship is that they're very similar people, but they present themselves just differently enough to appear alien to each other. Both of them were the only girls in a group of boys (Isabelle was raised more or less isolated with Alec and Jace, while Clary doesn't seem to have any friends other than Simon and to a lesser extent his band), and they responded to this in very different ways. Isabelle basically committed herself to her role of "the girl" and always performs extreme femininity, while Clary attempts to sink into the background as "one of the guys." Both of these behaviors can be seen as rebellions against their culture. Isabelle comes from the very misogynist world of Shadowhunters, where women are respected as warriors but expected to act in a masculine way in order to earn that respect. She rejects this, and proves her place as a brilliant fighter while maintaining her fun and glossy feminine traits (compare her with Jessamine Lovelace, who was seen as silly and frivolous for her feminine interests). Clary on the other hand is a child of the nineties growing up in NYC. As a teenage girl in the early 2000s, she would have been surrounded by "not like other girls" philosophy, and hyperfemininity would be both pushed on her and demonized in popular culture. Because of all the pressure placed on gender roles and her lack of connection with other girls her age, it's no surprise that Clary would develop a certain bitterness towards people who perform gender in a way she won't.

With all of that out of the way, we get two teenage girls who have no fucking clue how to handle each other. They're both jealous of how the other one fits in with the guys in a way they can't. Obviously any friend group is made up of friendships which fit together in unique ways, but Clary and Isabelle both see themselves as The Girl, and thus are worried that the other one will make them redundant (Clary gets along with Jace, so will he still need Isabelle? Isabelle and Simon are getting along, will this take away Clary's place as Simon's most important person?) Of course this isn't something that will actually ruin their friendships, but Clary and Isabelle don't know that. Instead they need to learn how to engage with each other, and I enjoy that TMI actually shows them having those conversations. They're trying, but it doesn't all happen at once. Clary still has bitter thoughts about Isabelle's femininity, and she also looks down on other girls like Maia.

Speaking of Maia, there's a really good moment in COA where Clary starts grumbling to herself about how unfair it is that a werewolf can be pretty, and that Maia should be gross and hairy. She then catches herself, and literally thinks "this is exactly why I don't have any female friends," showing that thanks to Isabelle she's learning to recognize her internalized misogyny. She can hang out with other pretty girls, and it doesn't decrease her value as a person.

It's just so nice seeing a character whose internalized misogyny is actively acknowledged by the narrative and treated as a flaw she must overcome. So many female protagonists in the early 2000s (and other decades) had the hyper-femme "best friend" who they hated, but even though that's how Clary sees Izzy at first, she's able to look past it and see the ways they click together. The two of them don't become besties immediately, but they're at least able to get past that first layer of hostility.

[420technoblazeit]

I mean this 100% genuinely: will you sell me on melvik?

I want to ship them but they had criminally few interactions in the show and the interactions weren’t super positive. However, I’m a huge fan of their parallels and think if they had been allowed to have more time together maybe they could’ve gotten closer. I also like them both with Jayce and want all permutations of meljayvik to be happy, not just meljay and jayvik.

I hope this doesn’t come across as me showing up to your house and bashing your ship cause that is not my intention. I genuinely WANT to be sold on melvik. I think my eyes can be opened to it if I hear from melvik shippers

No pressure to answer this either tho. If nothing else I just want to say thank you for all you do for the jayvik and meljavik tumblr ecosystems 🙏🙏🙏 I appreciate you 🫡

ok so the important thing to note about my melvik shipping is im coming at this from a kismesis angle. and if youre not familiar with homestuck shipping dynamics the key part in those kinds of relationships is commitment in helping the other person be better. seeing their flaws and wanting to help them with those flaws in a sometimes meddlesome kind of way. it's not so much built on hatred, as most people think it is, but this sense of i can fix them and i want to commit to helping them be better

my view of mel and viktor's relationship is that mel comes from a very privileged background and in truth has turned a blind eye to injustice in the past because she was fixated on living up to the standards of a medarda. she probably could have done more to help the people of the undercity. but both because she was intent on helping piltover become a more prosperous nation and because she hadn't entirely broken from the expectations of her family, that wasn't a priority for her. and i think viktor would naturally disapprove of that to some extent as someone who grew up in zaun and felt the effects of that kind of ignorance firsthand. viktor on the other hand has adopted a very pacifist and idealistic stance of no violence at any cost. this is probably due in part to his upbringing and the violence he was exposed to when he was younger. and if you want to point to what was basically their only scene together in season 1 i think part of their relationship is that mel views that kind of ideology as a little unrealistic in the grand scheme of things. mel was raised to watch her back at every turn and expect resistance and that would maybe lead her to clash with viktor's principles

but the big thing here and what really sells me on this ship i think is that despite these differences mel and viktor seem to have a LOT of respect for each other. they are both at their core outsiders in piltover, people who never really felt at home there. mel was exiled from noxus but misses it desperately to the point of painting it and dreaming of it constantly. viktor presumably has no one left to miss in zaun but returns there when he fuses with the hexcore because he still wants to help the people he left. they've both faced hardship and seen so much conflict in their lives and because of that chosen peace because they don't want anyone else to experience what they have. they're also both incredibly committed to progress and innovation and share a passion for helping people. i don't think viktor would have accepted mel as a collaborator if he didn't genuinely think that she was better than the other council members. and in the same way mel wouldn't have funded hextech if she didn't think that technology was something worth pursuing. and i really do think their differences could help the other see a perspective that they wouldn't have otherwise. does that make sense? as you can see i am Normal about these two

[the-way-astray]

What are your thoughts on Marella?

I personally believe she’s a HUGE pick me! She’s expressed multiple times that she finds girls annoying and how they’re “too much drama” and she’s boy crazy. I feel like people tend to mix fanon Marella with canon Marella. Fanon-Marella being genuine, cool, loyal and super gay for Linh and Canon-Marella being extremely sarcastic, rude, and a pick me.

But I would like to know your opinion! You’re really good at breaking down characters and acknowledging their flaws and such! Thank you!

answering these together . . . okay i have mixed feelings on both fanon and canon marella. btw this is very long sorry

canon marella:

agree with you . . . to an extent. early books marella is misery to me. like you said, she's a massive pick-me, boy-crazy to an extent that is frankly just annoying, and honestly, i don't know why people think sophie was a pick-me when marella was right there. sophie is just a masc girl (believe it or not, they exist, and not because they think they're better than feminine girls) and marella is. that. so absolutely i agree with you there. no idea what shannon was thinking

however. i discussed this in the keefe rant i'm sure you haven't read but there are a lot of instances of sexism in the first couple of books, which i chalked up to kotlc at heart being an early 2010s book series. you see this with keefe mostly. about 90% of kotlc's more sexist lines are from him in the first two books or so. they disappear in the third book, almost like shannon realized sexism was not cool and certainly didn't make keefe cool, and basically stay gone for the rest of the series (we're going to ignore legacy for the purposes of this post)

my point in bringing this up is that sexism was a running theme in the first two books for everyone, not just marella. keefe was very sexist. fitz and dex were slightly sexist. sophie had a bit of internalized sexism. marella is obviously very internalized-sexist. alvar was a playboy. shannon clearly did not realize that she was incorporating a narrative into the series that put down girls . . . up until the third book, where basically all obvious sexism vanishes (sexism is still woven into the fabric of the series but we will ignore that for now). so i think we can chalk marella's pick-me attitude up to kotlc's early sexism. it's not really fair, in my opinion, to judge marella for being sexist in the first book if you aren't going to judge, for example, keefe for being sexist in the first book as well (trust me when i say he's way worse). or fitz or dex or sophie, all of whom demonstrate some misogynistic sentiment

basically what i'm saying is that this trait isn't something that's really a core part of who marella is as a character, any more than keefe's sexist lines in the first book define him as a character. it's just a byproduct of shannon being a cishet white woman writing in the 2010s, a time when this form of sexism was rampant in these sorts of coming-of-age books and nobody thought any harm came out of this sort of thing. nothing nails this in more for me than the graphic novel. if you haven't read it, i encourage you to do that because you might view marella completely differently than you currently do. if you don't know, there's a kotlc graphic novel that covers the first half of the first book, and they strip it of the sexism that's in the first book completely. from keefe, from fitz, from sophie, from marella. it's all completely gone. that includes marella's weird boy-craziness and pick-me lines. it's clear shannon doesn't want it there on second thought and that this was just something that came of her not critically thinking about sexism at the time when she first wrote kotlc, a decade before the graphic novel's release

okay, leaving kotlc's weird sexism aside, let's get to other things . . . i've talked about this briefly like months ago, but i'm not a fan of the way the narrative makes sophie out to be the bad guy during her fall out with marella in everblaze. sophie did nothing wrong. she goes out of her way to reach out to marella and check on her because she notices marella is acting strange. she worries about marella. but marella never asks sophie to be a part of her personal stuff the way keefe, fitz, biana, and dex do so how the fuck is sophie supposed to know she wants a part of it all? it's unfair to ask sophie to read marella's mind (pun not intended) and just comply with her invisible wishes. then marella gets mad at sophie for not including her (???? like sophie's supposed to know you wanted to be included when you didn't open your mouth and say so????) and then sophie spends a good while beating herself up over it and in neverseen she comes to the conclusion that marella hangs with stina now because sophie's a bad friend. objectively not true. sophie is a fine friend to marella . . . i don't know why the narrative is so convinced that sophie did something wrong to make marella fall out with her

i do understand that marella was upset since she thought she manifested as an empath and then it turns out she didn't, so she was emotional. absolutely. but it doesn't change the fact that sophie was never in the wrong and for some reason the narrative is convinced that it was sophie that drove marella away from her by being a neglectful friend which is simply not true . . . like it's not sophie's fault marella decided not to confide in her about this. once again i can understand why marella acted the way she did, but that doesn't change the fact that. it was kind of shitty of her to neglect sophie, fight with sophie, fall out with sophie, go hang out with sophie's enemy out of spite for sophie, and then blame sophie for all this when it wasn't sophie's fault

i think marella's mom's accident gives her a lot of depth as a character . . . i love the way she wants to manifest as an empath not for herself but for her mom . . . like it's just incredibly tragic. who knows what marella would have wanted to manifest as if not for her mom's accident, you know? being excited to manifest this or that ability is probably something that defines a lot of elf kids' childhoods in a small way and even that was stolen from marella. then she manifests as a pyrokinetic and she is terrified of it . . . she did everything she could to help her mom and then to manifest as a banned, supposedly dangerous ability instead? she's scared. on the cusp of being ostracized by all society. having to keep this secret. imagine being a gossip and suddenly having to worry about being the target of gossip . . . like it must feel terrifying

speaking of which, it's interesting to think about how marella's flaw (at least i think it's a flaw . . . ) of gossiping about people and talking about them behind their backs could relate to the fact that she doesn't want anyone to know about her home situation. the more she makes herself the person that knows all the stuff, the less likely people are to think about her stuff, if you know what i mean. i'm going to be honest, shannon doesn't really make this out to be a flaw to the extent that i personally would, because talking about people behind their backs is no bueno to me . . . so i wish shannon would acknowledge that as a flaw because it would be so cool to see marella develop out of it but alas. she has a tendency to lean into her "gossip" role and start getting involved in people's personal business . . . it almost feels like she thinks she's entitled to it because she knows so much gossip about them already. examples include when she starts prying into sophie's relationship with fitz and making suggestive comments like marella! that! is! not! your! place! leave sophie and fitz alone. so she can be a bit invasive at times but this is just treated like a "oh, marella's just being marella!" sort of thing which i am not a fan of . . . come on shannon please treat it as a flaw . . . it's not a good trait or a quirk . . .

okay, i'm going to be super honest i don't know where you're getting rude and sarcastic from like to me she's not really rude. she can be sarcastic at times (not that much honestly) but i don't see that as a bad thing? her main flaw to me is the slight invasiveness she feels entitled to from being "the gossip", which comes from trying to protect herself from gossip targeting her to do with her mom . . . but i really don't think she's rude? where is this happening /gen

fanon marella:

alright . . . with the exception of the "being gay for linh" stuff (which honestly might become canon now that shannon has acknowledged the existence of gay people . . . who knows . . . ) i actually despise fanon marella with a passion. horrendous butchering of the complexity and nuance that marella's canon character is meant to portray

okay hear me out. i feel like fanon has a tendency to portray marella as an unhinged pyromaniac, kind of like a mini fintan. once again looping around to my vehement hatred of incorrect quotes . . . this is mostly an incorrect quote thing. but so many fanon things portray marella as someone who would commit arson comfortably, uses her fire powers with ease, and is generally a menace when it comes to being a pyrokinetic

i feel like this does marella's character a great disservice. like where are you getting this. in canon, she despises being a pyrokinetic. she uses it no more than absolutely necessary to maintain control over it or to fight the neverseen. even in stellarlune, the latest book, she still demonstrates animosity toward the ability and wishes she'd never manifested it. she is nowhere near comfortable with pyrokinesis and i wish fanon would stop this portrayal of marella because it massacres her character so badly. i hate it so so so so bad . . . tell me you don't understand marella without telling me you don't understand marella . . . stop portraying her as some fintan-esque ready-to-do-arson-all-the-time sort of person (i mean you can do whatever you want but i will be judging you forever and ever). i'd say aside from alden, fanon marella is easily one of the worst butcherings of the canon character that i've seen from this fandom

and this goes into a bigger problem i have? where people in this fandom have a tendency to fall into stereotypes based solely on a person's ability. it's almost like someone who's fire-crazy and willing to commit arson anywhere and everywhere is like. the stereotype for a pyrokinetic. it's almost like marella doesn't fit that stereotype despite being a pyrokinetic. it's almost like people just say those things because marella is a pyrokinetic. like it's clear as day to me that nobody would be thinking these things about her if she were not a pyrokinetic. like read the source material i beg . . . fanon marella is so far removed from canon marella when it comes to the way people discuss her fire powers that it's slightly insane. you guys are falling into the exact same trap that the lost cities fall into, where they think all pyrokinetics are fintan-level crazy arsonists . . . the only difference is you say it affectionately because you like arson. but uh. guys. marella hates being a pyrokinetic and she hates using her powers and she wishes they would disappear and most importantly she hates the stereotypes that come with being a pyrokinetic. she hates the way people perceive her differently now that she is a pyrokinetic!!!! she even says this to sophie in stellarlune . . . she goes “you started picturing me switching sides and setting everything on fire, didn’t you? was i cackling? wearing a black, hooded robe? ooh, were we fighting? was it an epic struggle between the moonlark and her fiery former friend?” . . . she is aware of how her friends, specifically sophie, see her differently and she tries to hide it because she wishes she could go back to before but she can't. to turn marella into this person who's ready to commit arson and go around setting things on fire and fully embraces and loves her pyrokinesis the way fintan does and thinks fire is the solution to everything is so ridiculously far-removed from canon marella that i wish people who think that about her would just go hyperfixate on fintan or create a goddamned oc instead . . . hashtag not! my! marella!

this is something that doesn't just happen with marella either . . . the emo, angry tam stereotype comes from him being a shade. tam is not emo or particularly angry if you actually read his actual dialogue in the series. people are shocked to learn that most empaths in the series actually kind of suck ass morally, almost like being an empath doesn't make you a better person . . . i have seen people think this sort of stuff unironically. but there's no character i have seen this happen with to the extent that it happens with marella . . . it is painfully obvious that (most) people do not know how to make fanon content about marella without either making it all about how much she loves setting fire to things (false! will never agree with this interpretation of marella, it strips her of so much depth) or how much she's gay for linh (at least that one's true though. so. i guess lmfao). anyway moral of the story is some people do not know how to interact with the characters outside of making everything about their ability . . . almost like that's exactly what the lost cities do . . . this is a bit too meta for me i beg you all to reconsider how you view marella (and some of those other characters) . . . like stop letting their abilities cloud the way you see them as characters

[knightofthelemontree]

I want people to start treating Sansa being a "little bird" in King's Landing less like a character flaw and more like Arya's becoming a "mouse" in Harrenal.

Both were done for survival.

Both were done to escape harm.

Both were hiding their true allegiances, not because they changed them but because it was not safe. It would have been stupid to be loudly pro Stark in either situation. It would have only accomplished Sansa and Arya themselves dying.

The only difference is that Arya has friends to help her out of it. This is in NO way a criticism. She was a 9 year old girl, who was skinny for her age. There was nothing she could have done all by herself.

I just wish that people extended that same logic to Sansa. She is an 11 year old girl, and sheltered for her age. There was nothing she could have done all by herself.

Arya's friends: Gendry, Hot Pie, and J'aQuin H'gar. They were all truly loyal to her and cared about her well-being.

Sansa's friends: Ser Dontos, Littlefinger, and Margaery. Dontos was paid off and betrayed her, Littlefinger is only using her for his own conflicting desires, and Margaery dropped her when she was no longer politically useful.

Are the situations exactly alike? No. Did they handle things the same way? Also no. They're different people with different strengths and weaknesses. Sansa cannot fight physically. Arya can't recognize many banners, so she has no way of identifying loyalties without getting very close.

Sansa couldn't pass for a boy like Arya could.

Arya couldn't follow the politics like Sansa could.

The whole point is that they're both Stark daughters in the middle of a war where House Stark is at the very center. They're both alive because they both played to their own strengths.

But they get different kinds of outside help. Sansa has people who are more powerful, but less invested in her happiness or even her survival. She was married to Tyrion with the intention of giving the Lannisters a male heir to Winterfell and then--I believe-- she would have been killed because she outlived her usefulness. All of her "friends" are conditional.

Dontos helped her because he was paid to.

Margaery, to at least some extent, helped her because the Tyrells could also have a claim to Winterfell through her. But once she was married, they gave up that plan.

Baelish "helps" her because she is Catelyn's daughter. He gets to fantasize constantly about how if he'd married Cat, Sansa would have been his daughter. But he also fantasies about Sansa being Cat. He hasn't given that up and I am interested to see how his treatment of her will change if and when he has to come to terms with the fact that she isn't Cat. Maybe he never will, I don't think he's surviving.

Arya's help are true friends, bonded together by experiences where they were equals. They were on the way to Castle Black together, they were captives at Harrenal together, they watched friends die together, they killed together.

Hot Pie left her by taking a baking job in a comparatively safe place. A guaranteed roof over his head, food every day, and maybe even income. No beatings. He couldn't imagine a better outcome.

Gendry left her because he found a place he could do what he loves for people he believes in. After seeing so many horrible men and how strong they are, he gets a chance to be a large part of fighting against those horrible men.

We know less about J'aQuin H'gar's fate, just that he had a path that parted from Arya's. Yet, he helps her from afar by giving her the coin, her access to the House of Black and White. He kills for her, he turns the tides of the war for her. He taught her real lessons about how the world works and how war works. Lessons that help her survive to this day.

Even Syrio died for her. Arya inspires loyalty everywhere she goes. But Arya also loses her friends. I sincerely hope they cross paths again.

For Sansa: I'd like to see her cross paths with Margaery again. More than Tyrion to be honest. But with Arya the most.

The Stark Sister reunion is the one I'm most excited for.

[finisnihil]

Liking Webtoons and wanting to analyze them is such a nightmare because most of their fandom activity is in the comments on the episodes, and a lot of the people there love to start beating characters the minute they're too morally grey/flawed or they're considered threatening to the main ship in any way.

For example, using For My Derelict Favorite, Helios gets dragged way too much at times. Like, I see people make him out to be a purely malicious force who's just as bad as Diana as if it's not emphasized that he acknowledges his feelings are wrong and will never act on them and the main reason why he harbors them is because the subejct of those feelings, Hestia, is way more competent than his wife.

A wife who's refusing to acknowledge nuance or her fading powers out of fear and insecurity and shuts down any attempts at healthy communication he attempts to initiate to the point she chases out the woman who basically raised him when his mother died. He can't rely on her and has basically no support system but he can rely on Hestia and his feelings are more born out of a desire to have somebody close who he can rely on.

The difference between Diana and him is WILDLY big, with Diana chasing out anyone who tries to question her and replacing them with the corrupt temple, choosing to drop her husband the minute he doesn't validate her batshit wild choices. She then decides to go and steal another woman's husband, who she previously condemned to the point of him becoming suicidal, because he defied her strict moral compass. Helios chooses to protect her still because she's his wife and he loves her and doesn't want to give up on her which is an objectively bad move, but he's in an awful position where anything he does will result in some kind of loss.

But I see the comments crawling with complete vilification and ignoring the character's honestly fascinating struggles so they can piss on him for threatening the beloved main ship. I even see some people compare him to WAYYYY worse characters, like Sovieshu from The Remarried Empress, which takes some sort of mental gymnastics as they are only similar to a surface level extent. Sovieshu is unredeemable but Helios is trying and making some bad calls while under pressure along the way.

For another example lets look at Annabel Lee from the amazing comic Nevermore. Everyone in the series is morally grey to some extent and some people will piss on Annabel Lee for being cruel, selfish, etc in such a shallow way. Instead of actually looking at her, a flawed character in a really fucked up situation trying to protect the one she loves at the cost of others, some people just say she's a bitch and want her to be expelled from the narrative for it. We can analyze Annabel Lee and why she’s Like That in so many ways because she's an incredibly dynamic and round character but some people don't care about that they just care she was Super Mean in some way and deem her The Enemy.

I have so many more examples like the fighting in the Jackson's Diary comments about who was the bad guy in a situation where both characters hurt each other in awful ways (I could go on about that for hours and might make a seperate analysis on it) but I think this post is long enough and I don't feel like inciting the possible wrath of any more comic fanbases.

Anyways if you're interested in any of the mentioned comics I encourage you to check them out for yourself!

[smolstarthief]

P5S Small Analysis: Is Konoe Right or Wrong?

So I know people have occasionally debated on Konoe's actions and system along with his piercing statements to the PTs and I gotta say finally: He honestly ain't wrong there, like at all as we have SEEN examples of this sort of thing happening:

Even the PTs themselves couldn't really come up with a counter-argument... At least at first. But the thing is, there's a solid reason why the narrative ultimately paints him as wrong at the same time: He misses the whole point of them as a whole and took things at face value. Here's the thing, yes his system is arguably more efficient compared to them but... It's really flawed at the same time. There's a small hint of projection coming from him the more I look at his dialogue too.

He shows a slightly high opinion of himself and that his system is more "right" hence his deadly sin being Pride. His idea is very well-intentioned no doubt about it but it's still pretty broken. Take his choice of Monarchs for example. As a mutual pointed out, the only one who seemed to better match his goals was Mariko while some others just used the power they were given for selfish reasons. Even then though, they're also trapped in their traumas and reliving them over and over to keep them in check. That's not really a solid system to rely on.

It doesn't help that Konoe can be both immature and careless with his own power at times. He's confident but in the end, it's a mask and it was also what jump started his downfall.

So where does he miss the point of the PTs? Sophia kinda put it best the more he ran out of arguments. Honestly, I could even say his boss fight is more or less him being in denial that he might be wrong to a degree.

And when he's finally defeated, they fully put in their two cents which spells out to him the actual point of them. So they ultimately do see his point and agree to an extent.

But he still missed the point, they didn't want people to rely on them but rather inspire people. To inspire change. And he's no exception as they understood that he was someone who desperately needed help but never got it.

In the end, he may have been both right and wrong in a lot of ways but they still were willing to empathize with him. He was no different from the other Monarchs, running away from the problem as opposed to facing it. That empathy was part of what had him concede defeat.

At the end of the day, he was still a victim. Constantly helpless and alone so it's no wonder he snapped. Basically Konoe is right to a degree but he's also wrong at the same time. He needed help deep down and hopefully he'll get it finally and be the hero he wanted to be.

(Now I will add that I'm still not fond of the victim-blaming implications of part of the ending such as comparing him to his father but other than that, the small exploration/debate was a little solid at least)

[sapphirefox1995]

I'm trying to decipher what I truly think about The Watcher. For context I absolutely love and adore Rain World. Both base game and Downpour. Downpour has its flaws, but it's a DLC that I cant get enough of. I consider Rain World to be my favorite video game ever.

Now imagine my excitement when The Watcher was announced. I literally could not wait for it.

Because I need to be spoiled on all things Rain World (I have far too many phobias that exist in the game) I watched multiple streams of The Watcher, all endings. And while watching I felt massively disappointed.

I feel like most people like Rain World for different reasons, or maybe all the reasons. For example, my friend liked Rain World due to the ecosystem, I like Rain World for the movement tech, the graphics/music, the lore and the characters. I'm not a fan of getting lost, I look up intractable maps or memorize every location. I don't like to get mad at my games, getting mods that make it an easier time (I'm also disabled but that only effects me playing with Rain World's default keybinds). And I want to very clearly state that cheating/making any video game easier does not devalue the game or the player.

This doesn't make the game a cakewalk, in fact it is still difficult. Campaigns like Spearmaster or Hunter or Saint still have a lot of trail and error.

Then here comes The Watcher, and somewhat detailed spoilers after the cut.

And be warned, you may disagree with my points, and that's totally fair and fine! If you want to voice your opinion in the comments, whether that be you not liking the Watcher or loving it, then go ahead. Just please keep things civil with the things you disagree with.

The world as you know it is different, there's rot everywhere only forcing you to go to specific places (Shaded, Chimney, and Farm) which I kinda like. I get not wanting us to see Moon or Pebbles, and in fact, I'm happy you don't. (And dont get me wrong, Pebbles is one of my favorite characters of all time, I love him, I adore him, and I want to make a video essay about him) and only having those locations feels like a neat way to show the world you grew around is now decaying. Great intro, no gripes with it.

The echo, although some would want more out of them, I love. I love the silly stinky talk, it shows they are a child. The more the campaign goes on the more the echo gets serious. That's amazing, I love that.

But then you get sent to one of the three locations depending on what echo you ended on. Everyone I watched, including when I played, went to Coral Caves. Now I like Coral Caves dont get me wrong, but my main problem with the Watcher is here. It's the locations.

They feel so disconnected from each other, it's hard to peice together the environmental storytelling. Like, we can theorize but nothing will ever be a true answer. And the base game did this to an extent, but through naming systems and lore pearls, it was pretty clear on how to piece together this world. The Watcher's new encioremnts do not have that.

And the portals, I hate the portals. From a gameplay stance. Lore wise, if the Watcher is truly an Echo (which is what I tend to lean towards) portals are fine, they're just fine. But game wise they suck! They distort your screen where you cant see stuff, apparently there's a pole plant in a room with a portal in Rusted Wrecks which is just so hard to see. Plus it adds to the feeling of everything being so disconnected! They do not show up on the map, causing you to find them multiple times if you don't have a solid memory. And they're never explained, making people playing it for the first time confused on how it works (I'm pretty sure you have to stand in it and that's it, you can move I think but I never do). Base game has tutorials, so does Downpour, that doesn't feel too intrusive, whether that be text in the corner of your screen or an overseer. Watcher does not have that.

Then you have the backtracking. And don't get me wrong, the base game has backtracking. But not as bad as this. There were multiple times while playing that I wanted to rage quit because of how much backtracking I had to do. I dont rage at games easily, I sure dont rage at Rain World. But this is out of hand at times. I got stuck in Rusted Wrecks for a century, and it doesnt help that you quite literally do not know the map, where you're going, or where the portals are.

The map, btw, just sucks. Your ui for the regions is just so awful to navigate. As I mentioned before you don't get to see portals on the map. You can see Karma Gates, and when you're just playing you can see a blend of the regions. Like how chimney looks like industrial when you're near that gate, but looks like Sky Islands when you're near that gate. It's very well designed and blends perfectly! The Watcher does not have that.

Then you have the lore. If I squint, I see the lore. But I have to squint. I understand the story it was telling but you dont get a lot of lore. Echos can move on. That's about all the lore I really got from this. The rest of the lore is just theories, not actual fact. Base game had a show dont tell way of dealing with lore, but it sure did tell you stuff. If you gathered the pearls you get an dump of information about the lore, iterators, and the ancients. The Watcher does not have that.

And I want people to keep in mind that theories are theories, they're not truly canon until stated otherwise and they're nothing to get truly mad over. I dont agree with the Rot being the Triple Affirmative theory. I think the rot is the antithesis of the void. Where the rot is the bad death and the void is the good death. And by all means the void should be linked more to the triple affirmative than the rot. But again, I could be wrong, but so can that theory. We do not actually know for certain. I do not like this. I love theorizing but I also like when I know things to be true.

Then the thing that gets me the most, cause I do not know, how a game praised on this aspect, didnt bring it to the Watcher. And that's the ecosystem. Some animals seem out of place (Blizzard Lizard, now granted it is cool in theory, but it sucks to deal with and doesnt feel grounded in the way other lizards are, if that makes any sense) some are super awful to deal with game play wise (the mushroom lizards) and some doesnt interact with anything but the player (the locusts). Sometimes the regions feel so empty, like it's meant to be a sightseeing area than an actual ecosystem. Btw this does not apply to the moths. Moths go crazy I love them.

So those are my gripes with the Watcher, but I do like other parts! I like the ending to both endings, the room with the ancients is pretty cool, and the Prince's design is rad. But I wish I liked more things about it.

So as of now I say that I only like it, I have mediocre feelings about it. And that makes me a little sad.

[box-dwelling]

KLARYAN KRISNIX PARALLELS PLEASEEEEE I HAVE SO SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT IT TOO BUT I CANT ARTICULATE THEM QUITE RIGHT PLEASE ADD YOUR VOICE TO MY INTERNAL BRAINROT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

@vexx-ation you also asked so here we go. (As have a few anons sorry this is long and it's taking a while to write everything down)

So my Klaryan take is kinda a mega theory that takes a lot of mini theories into consideration so here it is. This will be long. This will be unhinged. This is my Pepe silvia

Tw for discussions of substance abuse and abusive relationships

1) AA4 parallel foils

Ok so this is semi common knowledge. Every character in AA4 is ment to be a direct foil to a character in aa1. This is well documented and also applies to a lot of the witnesses too. Apollo is a foil for Phoenix, Ema is a foil for Gumshoe, Trucy is a foil for Maya, Klavier is a foil for Edgeworth. This goes on for almost every charcater in the game.

But here's the thing. The trilogy already has foils already. So some of these charcaters end up being massive parallels to eachother. A non relevent example I think about daily is that Trucy and Franziska are very similar but where this is relevant is Klapollo and Narumitsu. I have a post explaining this I'm more detail but basically while far from identical there are a lot of perhaps unintentional but at minimum unexplored parallels between Phoenix and Klavier and Apollo and Edgeworth. This is important.

2) Krisnix as an allegory for substance abuse

So first of my opinion of this doesn't really influence my take on grape juice but it's pretty undeniable that even if you don't think Beanix has addiction issues, hes almost coded to. There's the comment about Ema and the white powder and then the extent to which he's always surrounded by grape juice which at minimum looks like wine. In universe it's easy to see this as a part of his mask and that is my in universe take, he's trying to look in a bad way to hide how he's actually doing.

But I think we can take this further. Miles and Kristoph are superficially very very similar characters however underneath are deeply different and as such have a very different effect on Phoenix's mental state. Miles is absent during the 7yg at his request. And there's a miles shaped hole left in his life that he wants to fill with something that is superficially the same but is in it's effects very different and very bad for him.

Anyone who has dealt with addiction will likely recognise that pattern.

3) Klavier is on some level (whether he's in denial about it or not) aware that Kristoph is in some way dangerous or abusive and was running from him with the band

This is mostly just my take on how he acts in sucession and another very good post that I'll have to find that talks about how similar him joining the band was to the things the other people involved with the Gramarye trial did to try and evade Kristoph.

4) Phoenixs biggest flaw and how Kristoph tests it

So I basically never shut up about this in some places but might not have talked about it here so the tldr of this is that Phoenixs biggest flaw is that he is constantly trying to see the best in people. The final test of this is not breaking the black psyche locks and accepting that just because he's a human being with complexity, doesn't mean his actions are excused or that Phoenix has to forgive or protect him.

So this is where we can start bringing it together a bit.

Klavier and Phoenix are both very similar characters and both victims of Kristophs abuse. Phoenix has a relationship that exemplifies his harmful behaviour after the trial, it's pretty interesting to explore the same thing happening to Klavier.

Especially when we start to compare Daryan to Kristoph and find that they're superficially very different even if both of them turned out to be murders. Kristoph is reserved, Daryan is brash. Kristoph is classy, Daryan is flashy. Kristoph is well spoken and poetic, Daryan is straightforward. You get the idea.

And isn't that fucking fascinating? That Klavier ran to someone who was the complete opposite of his brother but ended up being just as dangerous? And also is it not really interesting that as Phoenix has to learn to accept Kristoph's humanity doesn't excuse his actions. If we take Klavier running to Daryan in this way to be him refusing to acknowledge the human side of his brother, that but running to the superficial opposite and not recognising what truly did make Kristoph dangerous, he fell into the arms of a murder.

And of course, the person he then falls for, is someone who is Apollo. Who is genuinely a good person but was Kristophs mentor and is very similar to him in a number of superficial ways. He has to stop running from his trauma and confront it head on.

Basically this interpreation means the klaryan/ Klapollo and Narumitsu/Krisnix love triangles function as basically a microcosm for how these two handle their trauma and how they have to over come it and each is a direct mirror of the other.

My take on Daryan

Ok people might have seen me joke that he's straight. Here's the thing. I think he definitely has been sleeping with Klavier. They are in some kind of relationship. Buuuuut, I do not think the feelings he has about the relationship are ever well traditionally romantic or sexual. I think it's driven from his side primarily by envy and rage that Klavier gets the spotlight more than him. He can never upstage Klavier on stage, but he can posses him. He can make him feel like shit as revenge.

My General Klayran timeline

They start whatever their weird thing is during the 7yg.

After 4-1 Klavier spirals a lot and it puts intense strain on their relationship because Daryan does not care about this bitch and does not want to support him

4-2 Klavier meets Apollo, sees him in court and kinda starts to develop a big old crush. He realises that Daryan is making him miserable and breaks it off after the case

4-3 newly broken up and it's taking its toll. Then we'll 4-3 happens and that's the end of them.

[prettyinpwn]

Hi PrettyinPwn! So, I wanted to ask you something, because I'm honestly lost and confused. Like, I know it's a dumb question, you don't even have to answer this ask if you don't want to, but could you help me understand the difference between Stan and Ford wanting to sail in the Stan o' War in the past and Stan and Ford sailing in the Stan-o'-War II in the present? One of the themes of Gravity Falls is about learning to let go and accept change and I want to know how it fits in this theme. At first I thought that they sailing in Stan-o'-War II in the present was a attempt of bring past to present by living a dream that is rooted in the past, which gives them an element of their past to hold on to and thus they can keep a part of their past in the present. But since the Pines learned to let go and accept change in the end of the show, I know that can't be that.

No, don't call it a dumb question; I think this is actually a great question to ask about the narrative (and one I've personally struggled with how to view myself).

You're 100% correct. It's odd that the narrative theme is about change and accepting it, yet the conclusion to the Stans' story is about returning to the past AKA holding onto the past.

When I think about it, this feels like a point where other themes and character arcs overrode or blend with this theme. Namely, the theme of healing family rifts, forgiveness, the conclusion of Stan and Ford's character arcs, and the beauty of the parallelism/juxtaposition of their story with Dipper and Mabel's.

As it pertains to Stan and Ford's character arcs, they had their own personal lessons to learn. Stan's was learning inherent worth and forgiving of self, in my opinion. Ford's was finding true acceptance/love for who he is (and by "true" I mean the honest kind that people like Stan and Fiddleford offered him that acknowledged his flaws but liked him anyway AKA selfless acceptance, not the selfish kind from people that just wanted to use him AKA Bill and his father to an extent).

So taking those two arc lessons, look at what Ford and Stan offer each other in the end: Ford asking Stan to go on an adventure with him is him subtly saying, "I forgive you and you have worth", and Stan accepting was him subtly saying, "I also forgive you and I still love/accept you". It's a return to the way they saw each other as kids. A key element here, too, is what Stan says to Ford when he first suggests the Stan-O-War idea when they're kids:

Ford is made fun of. Stan defends him from the bullies. And Ford says this (and from a writing standpoint, this is the part where the character states his need/want):

"But I am a freak. I just wonder if there's anywhere in the world where weirdos like me fit in."

And this is Stan's reply:

"Hey, chin up, buddy. Look. (He and Ford look at the sea) One of these days, you and me are gonna sail away from this dumb town. We'll hunt for treasure, get all the girls, and be an unstoppable team of adventurers."

If we break this down, it's basically Ford saying "I feel unaccepted and like an outcast" AKA his character wound and Stan saying "I accept you, you fit in with me, and I'll always stick with you".

So when they end up adventuring together at the end, it's them getting their character need. They're both the balm to each other's character wounds. That, and another thesis of Gravity Falls is that a Pines twin alone is their worst self, but together, they're at their best. I explored this in my post about Mabel's writing, but I think that's why Hirsch and crew wrote both sets of twins sticking together in the end.

A metaphor the fandom likes to use a lot with the Stans is D&D stats: Ford is high intelligence but abysmal wisdom, and Stan is high wisdom but lower intelligence. So alone... well, we saw it for ourselves. Ford alone is taken advantage of, isolated, lacking common sense, etc. Stan alone is depressed, a bit dumb (I say that affectionately but he wasn't good in school, we all know this), etc. Lo and behold: they have what the other doesn't, and their character arc resolution is realizing they need each other and have different strengths that help cover their own flaws.

So all in all, it's still the theme of change, because the Stans sticking together is a change from their status quo at that point (they'd been apart for decades). But it's the theme of change tempered with the value of still holding on to what matters. Like Dipper and Mabel: yeah, they're accepting change and the future, but they're also holding on to some things AKA each other. That's what the Stans failed to learn until they were older, what the niblings taught them, and what they rediscovered that they'd long lost.

So honestly, the theme of change really should be reworded to "accepting a good balance between the past and the future; you can't stop time, but you can still fondly hold onto parts of the past". Why? Because this theme in and of itself is a blend of both sets of twins: the future focus of Ford and Dipper wanting to follow their ambitions and grow up faster, and the past focus of Stan and Mabel wanting to cling on to the past and stop time (I mean, look at the metaphor of the perpetual motion machine and Stan breaking it; he wanted to stop time - a perpetual motion machine in real life - basically).

This new version of the theme reflects that both sides have a point, and both sides were slightly wrong: the narrative conclusion their characters help define is a blend of both arguments; compromise. And the Stan-O-War II is just that: holding onto the past as they sail into the future; compromise between the two viewpoints and characters.

I hope that answers your question! :D

[squebby]

One of the most common Last Five Years takes I hear is that Jamie sucks, and is to blame for the relationship falling apart. There's definitely some extent to which that's true, but I also think it's very reductive to pretend as though Kathy is perfect and Jamie is evil; to me, the whole point of TLFY is that their relationship was fundamentally doomed, and they were both flawed in such a way that their relationship would never really work.

Both of the "new love" songs in the show, Shiksa Goddess and I Can Do Better Than That are demonstrations that, from the beginning, both Kathy and Jamie are in this relationship for the wrong reasons. The first thing we hear Jamie say is that his main interest in Kathy comes from breaking norms, being "the story he should write", and falling in love with "someone like you". In short, Kathy is the right type of person for him, but he never praises anything about her specifically. In I Can Do Better Than That, Kathy does the exact same thing. She sings mostly about types of relationships she's unwilling to have, and praises Jamie for being the right kind of guy, but with no praise about him. Think about the parallels between "you don't have to watch the news / you don't have to learn to tango" and "if you liked to drink blood, that wouldn't matter". The songs have a lot of differences, but they're both entering the relationship for the wrong reasons.

[shiraishi-kanade]

Interactions that I want to see in proseka: An Shiraishi edition

Buckle up, folks. This is gonna be a long one.

New interactions

An & Kanade: this is actually more of a biased one (in a "I want to see two of my favourite characters interact" way), but I really hope to see more of them. An and Kanade are aware of each other's existence through Mizuki and the Twilight Festival event, but it's very surface level and I really want their potential to be explored more.

Despite appearing very different on the surface level and leading very different lifestyles, An and Kanade have been foils to each other basically since launch. They both grew up surrounded by music; they both have, and have shown since a very young age, a prominent talent in it (singing and composing respectively); they're both extremely passionate about what they do and are very hardworking, to the point of sacrificing their own well-being to it (a trait that, interestingly, more like early Kanade, but more recent An), and they also have a shared topic of grief.

Both An and Kanade suffered a loss of a loved one that impacted them deeply, and both of them choose to, at least to some extent, repress their own feelings regarding that. While I don't think their interaction/event should necessarily touch on that topic, I think it would be good for the both of them to have a friend who can relate to something that horrifying and personal.

(Additionally, while we didn't know what killed Kanade's mom, we know it was some kind of illness, and chances are it'll be same/similar to what killed Nagi. If Kanade shared how it was for her to witness her mom slowly fading away... I think that would make for an interesting conversation.)

Honestly, I'd take just about anything with those two, from grief and angst to composing and potentially even light-hearted event like Spojoy Park. I just really want them to meet properly.

An & Emu: Genki girls!! They are very dear to me personally despite not having met properly yet. They're also the reason I'm upset An has moved on from disciplinary committee: missed opportunity for her to catch Emu sneaking in! They would be fun to be around each other, I think, once An would get used to Emu's manner of speech (which she also somewhat shares, as shown in Nuanced Language sidestory. An being able to understand Emu-language from the get go would be a hilarious twist)

On the more serious note! Emu and An have a lot of shared themes, especially those of loneliness and abandonment issues, and also the way they chose to deal with those feelings. A lot of people say they're suppressing their emotions; I'm rather inclined to say they're avoiding them. If faced with each other who are, in a way, a reflection of their flaws, they might not be able to avoid it anymore - I think that would potentially be a very insightful interaction for them.

Moreover, they (along with a couple other characters, like Touya and Kanade, although for them it's much more minor) share the topic of legacy. Both of them lost a close one that has left behind a dream and both of them, voluntarily, stepped up to keep it alive. I think in that regard An and Emu would be able to understand each other in a very unique way. They have way more to their possible friendship than it seems on a surface level.

An & Mafuyu: one of An's most defining character traits is being a good friend and accepting of everyone - more than that, she earnestly believes she could accept all people if she tried hard enough. I think, for Mafuyu, having a friend, or even an acquaintance like that, someone who is put off by her behaviour and overall mannerisms but actively tries to understand her and be friends with her despite that, as well as someone who is so passionate about a dream she has she build her whole life around it, would be very useful.

(this is also the reason I hold a grudge with 2024 White Day event. It's beautiful and fun and all but An's not had a limited card for over a year and haven't had neither Valentine's nor White day, I thought FOR SURE this one. We could have had it all :( )

An & Saki: similar to An and Emu, both of them have a lot of both serious and comedic potential. They're lively, they're athletic, they're passionate about music - there is no feasible reason for them to not hit it off right away when they meet. I don't quite imagine the rest of their groups being able to keep up with their energy.

Still, underneath that energy, there is an underlying topic of loneliness that they both went through, and although An's is incomparable to Saki's, I think there would be this kind of understanding between them, too. While being extroverted and having a lot of friends, An has spend years searching for "her" person without success up until main story. I don't think she had any actual, deep bonds with peers going on in her life aside Haruka. Having a close-knit, big friend group might just be what both An and Saki have missed out on in middle school. That's an interesting observation, isn't it?

More of That, please (Already know each other but I want to see them More)

An & Haruka: in terms of Haruka and An, I really want to see more backstory for them. I know we've already seen it briefly, but there is so much more to it. How close were they? Did Haruka know Nagi in person or from description? What is Haruka's relationship with Vivid Street? Did she go to WEG to sort her thoughts out because An was there, or because it has a connection to her, too (The Non-Idol Me sidestory)? Did they grow more distant throughout Junior High? There is much to unpack here still!

And also, I just like their friendship overall and think we're really lacking their area interactions and accidental meetings, stuff like that. There should definitely be more.

An & Rui: the sillies. Now that An isn't a hall monitor I expect her to take absolute delight in Rui's antics.

They've performed together a total of three times (if we count the New Year show, even though it was more of a Tsukasa stage) and all of them went spectacularly. An is just the right amount of impulsive and reckless to be someone who's able to meet Rui's ideas halfway and match his energy, even though she's normally skeptical about it when she isn't a part of the performance. Hell, An even jokingly mentions becoming an actress!

I think they definitely should interact more and I want it to be utterly ridiculous. It's a shame it didn't happen a little earlier in Rui's story, but, for example, An (together with some other characters) doing acting gigs for Rui could be extremely fun.

An & Tsukasa: both the comedic and the serious angst potential is there; An's and Tsukasa's recent arcs do align quite nicely even though they're not exactly the same. They could probably have a nice conversation about it.

I think it's also fun to see An not realising that she comes off just as loud and pushy to other people as Tsukasa seems to her. But they definitely do have the same energy! I really liked Let's Study Hard and the New Year's Show for that; they're extremely passionate and Tsukasa admires An's passion and skill - I wish they elaborated on this more!

Also, An should definitely have something going on with Tsukasa with her passing the role of the hall monitor to him, especially with Rui around. No way they won't even mention it.

An & Shiho: they had an awesome time together during the In The Corner of Resonant Town and I'm BEGGING for them to get closer as friends. From fashion sense to music to their personal issues, they have a lot in common. I think they've had their share of deep talks and I'm not exactly looking for that anymore; something more relaxed like a jam session or just hanging out is another thing, thought.

An & Ichika: I'm biased in a way that I love them and I also think it would be very funny for Ichika to have a second vocal teacher. Ichika & Nene are very dear to my heart, but as things stand, An should canonically be more skilled in vocals (while Nene is definitely a superior actor) and her skillset probably fits Ichika's genre better. And An was teaching Kohane at the start, so we know she knows how to! There is no particular motive behind it other than I want to see them together more and I think that would be a perfect way for them to get closer.

Additionally, Shiho mentioned how An must be experienced in MCing and how there must be a lot they can learn from her. That. I want that to happen so badly.

An & Nene: no thought head empty just please more of them. Especially singing. I want them to sing together again, I loved hearing Nene's little monologue and I like the way Nene was able to give An tips on acting and singing while acting; they're extremely sweet, they're polar opposites while also being similar in a bizarre way, and I really want the writers to go all in with the classmates thing.

[ghoulsbian]

do you have any headcanons about Kuro or Shironeki, or how they might interact if they weren’t eachother at some point? I think Kuro would be scared of Shiro but think he’s polite anyway

i am extremely late to this, and i apologize. but i'm happy to have received this ask and to be replying to it now! thank you sending this! :3

so, to analyze kuroneki and shironeki and how they might interact, i sort of think of how someone might feel about someone who reminds them of their younger, i.e. weaker, self. it's painful to see someone making the same mistakes you have, resentment can build from it, but it doesn't always build to an extent that makes you unable to be friends with them. kaneki is a person who has endured horrific, mind-altering abuse. it's just, different eras/versions (or alters) have very different reactions to trauma and different coping mechanisms that surround the traumas. kuroneki's reaction to his trauma was to fawn; to blame everything on himself and just sort of accept wrongdoings done to him in order to not harm or displease others. shironeki is more so of the fight response, he stands up for himself and others over wrongdoings but might go a bit overboard in the pursuit of protection. i also think that shironeki experiences PTSD-induced psychosis, and i am by no means saying psychosis inherently makes those who experience it violent, but i think that him going overboard has to do with delusions (that are validated as logical in his brain due to everything he's been through) that make a bad situation seem even worse than it is, and his brain tells him the only logical response to be rid of the bad situation is extreme violence done unto others or himself.

those things being said, i think that both kuroneki and shironeki could benefit very much from each other's presence if they were separate people. they're both deeply flawed and unwell but i do think they could help each other. i think that if they were separate people, their relationship would be one that was formed out of two people stumbling into each other's lives at a time they both just really needed someone. i think i would agree with you that kuroneki might feel some anxiety around shironeki, especially at first, but he would always remain polite. this would be something that would really put shironeki off at first, due to his conceptions about "weakness" and "strength." i don't think he'd be outwardly rude about it, but it'd be something that would make him feel some discomfort with kuroneki's presence and therefore would make him a bit standoffish. he senses kuro's "weakness" and it disturbs him because it's too close to how he used to be. but there's something that draws him to kuro anyways, maybe a pang of forbidden empathy, and so they remain hanging out.

going back to my ideas about shiro's psychosis, i sort of have this idea in my head that shiro starts having an episode when he and kuro are together at some point. he tries really hard to keep it to himself when it's starting. it's something that is so vulnerable and so uncomfortable to have others witness. but time is passing and the throes of psychotic symptoms are getting too overwhelming to hide. kuro is perceptive and notices something is wrong. he is so kind and so concerned immediately, and i think that this is a moment in which kuroneki approaches shironeki in a way where his fear is on the back burner. his concern and desire to help others is what's at the forefront of his mind. sure, there might be some fear at the back of his mind, but he knows that that isn't what will be helpful right now. shiro lashes out when kuro starts questioning the state he's in. irritably, he growls out that he's fine, and why wouldn't he be fine? but it's so obvious that he's not. kuro gives a surprised blink, and pauses, before asking if shiro is sure he's alright. he's cut off by shiro shrieking that he's fine and moving away from kuro.

kuro freezes as he thinks over what his next steps might be. meanwhile, shiro is practically curling in on himself, like how a roly-poly would to protect itself from outside threats. he squeezes his eyes shut to eclipse the hallucinations assaulting his visuals. even in the midst of all of this, a profound sense of shame washes over him. the kind that makes you feel like your inner organs have turned to lava. kuro was such a weakling to him, but somehow shiro had really come to value his presence. there was value in he and kuro's friendship, and he was certain that this behavior was going to tear it all down and send kuro running for the hills. his fists ball up in his hair, gripping the locks and weighing them down from the root. his thoughts were a mess. image after image flashes in his mind, one thing slowly morphing into another in an endless loop. the concern for the change in kuro's opinion of him was more of a physical sensation by this point, and a concept sitting itself like a boulder amidst all of the morphing images. unbeknownst to him, he had begun to grind his teeth, and they had begun to crack under the force of a ghoul jaw. the pain went unfelt. it was nothing compared to the current sensory overwhelm of psychosis. blood starts to collect on the inside of his lip. an end to it was certain, but unthinkable to shiro at this time. his heart rate had picked up, as had his breath.

a warm hand on his knee cuts through the thick fog of entwined panic and psychosis, an ever-co-morbid pair. it separates for a moment, then reforms. though, the warmth of kuro's hand was something that anchored shiro to his physicality. kuro's thumb strokes in an up and down motion, he recalls his friend hide doing something similar when comforting him after tears had spilt. kuro's voice is low and gentle. he doesn't know exactly what is wrong but he knows it's painful for shiro. kuro starts off with talking about how he knows what shiro is going through is scary, but that he's here for him and he's safe. he trails off after giving those pieces of reassurance several times over, unsure of what else could be said. shiro had started to get his breathing more at a normal pace while kuro talked. it wasn't kuro's words that had the calming effect, but his voice. kuro's words went in one of shiro's ears and out the other as his episode progressed. it was kuro's voice that grounded him. there were other voices he had been hearing, but kuro's was the only one with a gentle tone. this elicited a sense of trust from shiro. he felt his chest tighten when kuro stopped talking. shiro shakes his knee in hopes that kuro gets the message, maybe one, or two times over until kuro starts talking again. kuro starts to talk about his day, what he had been doing before he and shiro came together. his topics branch off repetitively in order to keep himself talking. at some point he finds himself talking about embarrassing stories from his childhood that he had never planned on sharing before.

they stay like this for however long is needed. two to three hours maybe. shiro slowly unfurls and reopens his eyes. his jaw has been relaxed and allows time for his teeth to heal. exhaustion is setting in after the strain on both his body and mind. the hallucinations and disorganized thinking remain but are less severe and therefore less distressing. his breaths are soft and low as he struggles to keep his eyes open. kuro reassures him that it's okay to go to sleep, and helps him to get comfortable. he sits at shiro's bedside until he falls asleep, then retires himself to the floor on a pile of blankets for his own rest. normally, after hanging out at shiro's apartment, kuro would head back home, but he chose to stay this time in case his friend is in need of someone throughout the night. :')

but yeah, i think both of them leave this experience with new perspectives on each other. kuroneki now understands that shironeki has a vulnerable side he hides, and shironeki no understands that kuroneki holds a unique sense of courage within him.

[altocat]

I'm not sure how complicated a question this is: how would Sephiroth's childhood had gone if he were raised by Lucrecia but he was still at Shinra? (In a scenario where Hojo is completely out of the picture and hopefully dead). Or do you think Lucrecia would've abandoned Shinra completely?

On one hand, I think the presence of Hojo was definitely driving a lot of Lucrecia's mental health issues in Dirge. But she was already working with a massive guilt complex long before Hojo so with that in mind...

Assuming Lucrecia now has some level of power within Shinra with Hojo out of the way, I don't think the Jenova Project would have progressed to the extent that it did in canon. Nor do I think Lucrecia would have any part in allowing her son to effectively become a weapon for SOLDIER. My way of thinking was always that Lucrecia felt guilty over Grimoire's death and thus convinced herself that creating a "Cetra" would be a good means of atonement. Life for life. Something that would help the planet. I don't think she ever wanted or expected her son to be involved in war and violence. That wasn't what her work was about. And assuming she was able to keep it together long enough to see her son grow and thrive, she would never want him to experience the same level of trauma and loss she did. I think she would have fought Shinra tooth and nail keeping Sephiroth away from all of that, fighting them until it came to a head and either resulted in them "doing away" with Lucrecia altogether or having her escape with Sephiroth in tow.

As for Sephiroth's childhood, it's a lot more loving and stable than in canon, though there is still that level of gloominess that comes with his relationship with Lucrecia, especially since she regrets modifying her son. He loves her dearly and is 100% on her side in not wanting to join up with whatever SOLDIER has in mind for him. And if she were to take him and leave, he wouldn't protest in the slightest. If Shinra got rid of her, he'd know what happened and why. And would either have to be subsequently killed out of open rebellion or would just outright refuse to fight for them at all. Sephiroth recognizes his mother as an incredibly flawed and unhappy human being. And he still partially blames her for a lot of the hardships he's faced growing up. But he still loves her and recognizes her turmoil, feeling responsible for her and wanting her to be happy.

I'm gonna tack a happy ending onto this and say that Vincent (who doesn't get shot since Hojo isn't here) helps them escape and they form a healthier, more stable family unit on the outside, with Sephiroth growing into a reasonably well-adjusted adult. Having Vincent there as a stable force and a father figure really makes a difference for both him and Lucrecia's general health. And while there's always going to be some lingering tension in association to Shinra, they're ultimately very happy together.

[mourningobject]

Though Madara and Tsumugi understand each other, to an extent, and see themselves in each other (Madara makes it more clear through his projection, but I think that the reason Tsumugi reads him so well is because they have a similar sort of emptiness as people, something missing, which leads me to frequently describe their dynamic as "it takes one to know one"), I think it's less so in regards to their selves and more a recognition of the same badness existing within each other, more than anything. Even then, that badness has manifested in different ways (a perfect example of how an abused child may act — Tsumugi's attempts at compensation for being born by doing what he believes is good and gives him a purpose, vs Madara sinking deeper into his role as "no good" and believing it to be his destiny, almost. That maybe, it's in his blood. In the end, they both still consider their own existences to be flawed.) Meanwhile Madara and Chiaki have a truer form of metaphorical, narrative "selfcest", where one is what the other tried to be and failed, but in a sense, they're still kind of the same. It's just that one is worse. Do you understand?