#this gets clunky and less fluid towards the end

[frankingsteinery]

for my 100th post (!) i thought i would, at long last, make a catch-all analysis on victor and elizabeth’s relationship, their marriage, and why specifically it was incestuous. throughout i may mention my interpretations of caroline’s past and her pseudo-incestuous relationship with alphonse, which you can read here. it’s not necessary to understand this post, but you’ll miss some of the nuance of the relationships between the frankensteins without it

in the 1818 version of the novel, elizabeth is the paternal first cousin of victor. she is, like caroline, similarly upper-class but falls into misfortune when her mother dies and she is left under the care of her father. these parallels become important later. after elizabeth’s mother dies, her father writes to alphonse “….requesting [Alphonse] to take charge of the infant Elizabeth” and that it was his wish “…that [Alphonse] should consider her as [his] own daughter, and educate her thus” (1818). that is, it was explicitly intended for elizabeth to be reared as a daughter to the frankensteins (and thus victor’s sister). 

in the 1831 edition, caroline specifically has an interest in elizabeth because she sees herself and her own situation in her, a background that mirrors her own. i’ll directly quote a post of mine instead of reiterating the same point. essentially: from the beginning caroline deliberately sets up parallels between herself and elizabeth. she wants a daughter, and adopts elizabeth specifically because elizabeth reminds her of herself, but grander: like she was, elizabeth is also a beggar and an orphan and homeless, but her story is more tragic, she is more beautiful, her debt to her caretakers more extreme, and her romantic relationship will go on to be more explicitly incestuous. through elizabeth and victor, caroline will perpetuate her own abuse. the difference is, unlike her own, this is a situation caroline can control.

from the beginning, at six years old, victor and elizabeth are raised with the expectation that they are going to be wed when they are older. as an adult, elizabeth reflects “that our union had been the favourite plan of [their] parents ever since our infancy” and that “we were told this when young, and taught to look forward to it as an event that would certainly take place” (1831). this is because of caroline’s “desire to bind as closely as possible the ties of domestic love” (1818), and so she is raised as victor’s “more than sister” (1831). they are encouraged to play at the role of mother and father/husband and wife together via raising and educating their younger siblings, particularly ernest. ernest is described as being victor’s “principal pupil” and, during his illness in infancy, elizabeth and victor were “his constant nurses” despite caroline, alphonse and maids/servants/caretakers being available

simultaneously, caroline grooms elizabeth into being a mini-me, calling her her “favorite” and encouraging her to embody the same values as her. caroline does all she can to have elizabeth be what is, essentially, a second version of her, while all the while dictating a marriage to her son

this becomes even more significant, when, on her deathbed, caroline reinforces her wish for victor and elizabeth to marry: “My children... my firmest hopes of future happiness were placed on the prospect of your union. This expectation will now be the consolation of your father. Elizabeth, my love you must supply my place” (1831). by attempting to replace herself with elizabeth via telling her to “supply her place” (of mother/wife) to the rest of the family, caroline is not only dictating a marriage between brother and sister but now mother and son, as elizabeth shifts from a sister-figure to victor into a maternal substitute, and simultaneously is his bride-to-be. as a result the roles of mother, sister and wife become conflated in victor’s mind—to some degree, there is no one without the other.

there’s deeper things at play here too, namely that it creates victor’s later emotional obligation in honoring his mother’s dying wish to go through with the marriage (furthered because it is the “consolation” of his father… alphonse also says something to this effect after victor gets out of prison), but i have enough to say on how victor is relied on as a pillar of emotional support by all of his family that it warrants its own post

this subconscious shift between the role of sister figure to mother figure is further emphasized when, during his dream at ingolstadt after the creation of the creature, elizabeth morphs into caroline in victors arms: “I slept, indeed, but I was disturbed by the wildest dreams. I thought I saw Elizabeth…Delighted and surprised, I embraced her; but as I imprinted the first kiss on her lips, they became livid with the hue of death; her features appeared to change, and I thought that I held the corpse of my dead mother in my arms” (1831). that is, she literally changes from sister into mother. this is also the only kiss in the entire book, and the only instance victor and elizabeth display any affection for each other that is explicitly non-platonic (and elizabeth’s affections towards victor generally feel more motherly then amorous, particularly in contrast to the romance of felix and safie), and during it, she turns into victor’s mother and decays in his arms.

but why make the creature in the first place? well, as the common misconception goes, it wasn’t about reanimation (which was only mentioned once in a throwaway line) it was about creating new life. what victor wound up doing what was not reversing death, but what was, essentially, an alternate method of childbirth. this is a significant detail when considered in the context of victor and elizabeth’s relationship: victor’s goal was to create life, and he, at great lengths, intentionally circumvented women (elizabeth) in this process. why? so that he could dodge an act of incest—marrying elizabeth and providing the frankenstein heirs and carrying on the family legacy, which is what his family expected him to do.

there’s evidence to suggest elizabeth views victor as a brother. elizabeth indirectly acknowledges this relationship during justine’s trial, when she stands up for her defense: "I am," said she, "the cousin of the unhappy child who was murdered, or rather his sister, for I was educated by, and have lived with his parents ever since and even long before, his birth…” (1831). here, elizabeth calls herself the cousin of william (which is notably what she refers to victor as, both when they are literally cousins and when they have no blood relation—either way, a familial term) and then corrects herself, that she is actually william’s sister. her reasoning for this? she was raised and educated by the frankensteins alongside him ever since she was young. if you follow this logic, by extension she also considers herself ernest’s—and more relevantly—victor’s sister.

there is an egregious amount of subtext that suggests victor also views elizabeth as a sibling as well. before victor leaves for his vacation with henry, alphonse tells him that he has “always looked forward to [victor’s] marriage with [his] cousin as the tie of our domestic comfort” because they were “attached to each other from earliest infancy” and “entirely suited to one another in dispositions and tastes.” however, he acknowledges that because of this, victor may, perhaps, “regard [elizabeth] as his sister, without any wish that she might become your wife. Nay, you may have met with another whom you may love; and, considering yourself bound in honour to your cousin, this struggle may occasion the poignant misery which you appear to feel” to which victor replies: “My dear father, re-assure yourself. I love my cousin tenderly and sincerely. I never saw any woman who excited, as Elizabeth does, my warmest admiration and affection. My future hopes and prospects are entirely bound up in the expectation of our union” (1831). that is, he answers, no, he has not met any other woman he would rather marry, yet skirts around the former half of alphonse’s question and doesn’t acknowledge whether or not he views her as a sister or not.

this occurs again after victor is released from prison in ireland when, elizabeth, in a letter, does eventually ask him if he wants to back down from the marriage (this same letter features elizabeth literally hitting the nail on the head when asking if victor was going through with the marriage because he felt honor-bound to their parents). however, she poses this by asking: “But as brother and sister often entertain a lively affection towards each other, without desiring a more intimate union, may not such also be our case?...Do you not love another?” to which victor honestly answers no, he has not met any other woman. however, it’s not addressed whether he’s in love with elizabeth herself, nor does he address whether or not their affection towards each other is akin to that of siblings–again he entirely ignores it.

when victor and alphonse return to geneva after his release from prison, alphonse proposes victor’s immediate marriage to elizabeth, to which victor remains silent. alphonse then confronts victor once more: “Have you, then, some other attachment?” victor responds: “None on earth. I love Elizabeth, and look forward to our union with delight. Let the day therefore be fixed; and on it I will consecrate myself, in life or death, to the happiness of my cousin" (1831). yet the “hopes and prospects” that victor saw bound in their marriage earlier was, in fact, his own death–which was “no evil to [him]...and I therefore, with a contented and even cheerful countenance, agreed with my father, that if my cousin would consent, the ceremony should take place in ten days, and thus put, as I imagined, the seal to my fate” (1831). victor sees going through with a marriage to elizabeth as suicide, and embraces this.

they are both mutually hesitant and describe feelings of dread and melancholy on their wedding day itself. at the very least this indicates a lack of romantic interest in each other. after the ceremony, when they row out on the boat together, victor has a thought that is perhaps the most blatant example of his romantic disinterest in elizabeth: “Then gazing on the beloved face of Elizabeth, on her graceful form and languid eyes, instead of feeling the exultation of a—lover—a husband—a sudden gush of tears blinded my sight, & as I turned away to hide the involuntary emotion fast drops fell in the wave below. Reason again awoke, and shaking off all unmanly—or more properly all natural thoughts of mischance, I smiled” (Frankenstein 1823). victor also makes it clear to the narrator (walton) that they did not consummate their marriage before elizabeth’s death, which suggests there was hesitance or disgust around the concept. 

this is a neat little aside and more circumstantial evidence then anything else, but it is pretty well known that mary shelley's works tend to be somewhat autobiographical, and that her characters are influenced by people in her own life. this is most obvious in the last man, but its also present to a lesser extent in frankenstein, wherein victor's character is inspired by (among others) percy shelley. percy wrote under the pseudonym victor, which is believed to be where victor's name may have come from—and elizabeth was the name of percy shelley's sister.

[labyrinth-runner]

In the water, need, dinluke

A Clan of Three

Summary: Din stays with Luke while he builds the Jedi school in order to learn more about the dark saber. Things get steamy while he watches Luke meditate in a lake.

Word count: 1000

Pairing: DinLuke

Warnings: None

He looked so serene in the water. That was the first thing Din noticed about Luke as he stepped out of the clearing towards the lake. He needed a break after the constant din of the droids building the new Jedi school. What he hadn't realized was that he would be intruding on the young Jedi Master's moment of stillness.

Luke didn't even open his eyes from were he stood, waist deep in the water. His hands rested, palm up, on the surface of the water. As he exhaled, Luke felt the water around him rise. With a swish of his hand, he created waves on the surface of the still lake. He lifted his feet from the bottom, folding his legs beneath him and rising up to sit on the water's surface.

Din frowned. Now he's just showing off. Still, he couldn't look away. He perched on a nearby boulder and watched the Jedi float, light as a feather. He was almost jealous, in a way. He knew his own fighting skills were less fluid. He was impressive, but he was clunky. A warrior who fought to survive. In front of him was a different kind of warrior. Luke was a warrior who fought to coexist. Din thought of his own dark saber and how the Force worked with it. He knew he should be training with the Jedi, but he only recently began believing in the Force after living with Grogu. It was hard to trust what one couldn't see. It was even harder to manipulate it.

He would never be as elegant as the man on the water. He would never be that serene. Din wasn't an angry man. He was just frustrated. He had been given the short end of the stick at every turn. He lost his parents. He lost his clan. Now, he was saddled with the task of ruling a planet he barely knew, and a people he wasn't quite sure he understood. Everyone had an idea of what Mandalore should be. How was he supposed to decide what the right one was? Did he even want to be the person to decide that? His place in the galaxy was supposed to be small, unnoticeable. Now, he wasn't so sure. He didn't want a big destiny. He didn't want to be great. He wanted to be sufficient and to survive.

Luke faintly noticed the water lapping at his legs as he slowly sunk further into the water. He took a deep breath and exhaled before fully immersing himself. A small smile tugged at his lips as he settled on the floor of the lakebed.

Din perked up as he watched Luke disappear beneath the water. His hand tightened into a fist as each second ticked by. Seconds turned to minutes and he began to feel a panic rise in his chest. Luke wasn't coming up for air. He looked back towards the Jedi school and thought about Grogu. They'd come all this way for his training. He couldn't possibly let Luke die. But, his armor along with his clothes would be heavy, and with Luke to pull up as well, they both might drown. His hand hesitated on his helmet for the barest moment before he ripped it off his head and quickly undid his armor. He kicked off his shoes as he ran towards the water's edge, diving in.

The water was cool against his bare skin. It stung his eyes slightly as he opened them to locate Luke. Hooking his arms under Luke, Din kicked his feet until they broke the surface.

Luke sputtered water, his eyes flying open at the sudden yank from his trance. "What the kriff?" He turned his accusing wide eyes on Din. "What are you doing?"

Din's eyebrows flew up. "What am I doing? What are you doing? You could have drowned. Then who would teach the kid?"

"I wasn't going to drown. I was in control of the situation, thank you very much," Luke rolled his eyes, reaching up to brush kelp off his forehead. He absentmindedly took in Din's appearance. He'd never seen Din's eyes before. They were the same shade of brown as the desert sand at night. It reminded him of home.

"Were you worried about me?" Luke pressed, a slight tilt to his lips.

"You were down there a long time."

Luke knew it was as much of a confession as he would get. "Trust in the Force."

Din wanted to roll his eyes. Luke had been telling him that every time he tried to practice with the dark saber. It didn't help then, and it didn't help now. "How can I trust something I can't see?"

"Well, trust me and my abilities, then. Do you trust me?"

"Of course." Din didn't even have to think about it. Luke had found him and the kid and rescued them. He knew that Luke would always try his best to help Grogu, and he was strong enough to keep him safe. Water droplets slipped down Luke's nose before breaking the surface of the lake. Drops clung to his lashes and slid down his cheek. Din wanted to reach out and swipe them away with his thumb.

"You took your armor off," Luke murmured as they floated closer to each other in the lake.

"Wouldn't be much of a rescue if I weighed both of us down," he replied.

"Somehow I feel like you're only capable of lifting a person up."

Din studied Luke for a moment, swallowing the lump in his throat. He'd been taught not to completely rely on anyone else. He'd been told that he was a clan of two. But now, floating in the water with the man in front of him, Din knew that that wasn't true. Two is a pair. Three's a clan. He reached out, smoothing a piece of hair off of Luke's cheek. Luke closed his eyes, leaning into Din's palm. A current in the water pulled Din in. It felt like forever, but was only a matter of seconds. His nose bumped against Luke's and then warm lips were pressed against his. A hand tangled in his hair as he gripped Luke's shirt to pull him closer. They broke apart for air, rested their foreheads together as they shared a smile.

And then they heard it.

A distinct slurp of soup.

[rebelsofshield]

Panels Far, Far Away: A Week in Star Wars Comics 10/23/19

Hutts hunt for treasure, storylines converge, and alliances are broken in last week’s (sorry!) Star Wars comics.

Star Wars #73 written by Greg Pak and art by Phil Noto

The biggest setback to Greg Pak’s short sprint of a run on Star Wars has been the disjointed nature in which his three separate narratives pass back and forth. The decision to tell three different stories with different cast members that span genre and tone was an inspired one, but it has often lead to each segment feeling like it got the short stick with barely enough room to forward its story. Of the three, only Chewbacca and C-3PO’s rock people alliance has really been successful.

However, as the different plot threads begin to converge the comic improves as well. Pak dedicates much of the page length for this issue to Leia, Dar Champion, and Han’s mission to foil the efforts of the Bith crime lord Carpo. This story has been stalled the longest of the three and it’s nice to finally get some momentum building once again and to see the early intrigue begin to pay off. The romantic comedy underpinnings also sneak in as well to form a fun foundation for the criminal backstabbing and as a nice reminder of just how close we are to this couple’s fateful encounters during The Empire Strikes Back.

As their plan goes awry, the other two rebel missions get roped in as well for a galaxy spanning climax. It can’t help but feel a little rushed, in Luke and Warba’s story in particular, but it’s more than a little nice to finally see these stories feeling like a connected unit again. For the first time in this run, Pak’s transitions feel fluid and accessible and there is an overall sense of motion and excitement as we hurtle towards the big finish.

Score: B+

Star Wars Adventures: Return to Vader’s Castle #4 written by Cavan Scott and art by Francesco Francavilla and Nicoletta Baldari

As has been the case with the past three issues, Return to Vader’s Castle continues to be a fun and surprisingly twisted little horror anthology for the holiday. It also can’t seem to shake its art problems.

With Thom Hudd dodging the clammy hands of Vanee and now the Fourth Sister of the Inquisitorius, his best plans for survival appear to be in distracting them both with another tale of deep space eeriness. This week we are treated to the ill-fated treasure hunt of Jabba’s cousin Crakka. In an inspired move, Cavan Scott dives deep into classic Star Wars lore and centers the narrative around the brain harvesting B’Omarr monks. The idea of a hidden brain with the location of a secret treasure map is a creative one and Scott takes this little tale into even more twisted territory than one might expect. The ending is particularly off putting for an all ages comic, which I guess is both a feature and a deterrent to readers.

Nicoletta Baldari, however, is simply not the right choice to tell this story. With her colorful and exaggerated character designs, Baldari can’t help but feel out of place in this rather creepy and arguably disturbing story. It continues the trend of the IDW editorial team pulling from regular Adventures artists for this anthology project rather than finding different artists that may fit the

Score: B-

Star Wars Allegiance #3 written by Ethan Sacks and art by Luke Ross

The people of Mon Calomari continue to be the selling point of Star Wars Allegiance. These poor fishfolk have had such a rough go of it over the last several decades that it’s hard not to feel their plight with another war bearing down on them. Nossor Ri, in particular, despite being framed as an antagonist here, can’t help but feel like a sympathetic figure. This is a man, or squid, that has spent his entire life trying to ward off occupation by outside forces. His actions accidentally lead to the Battle of Mon Cala during The Clone Wars, which in turn set the stage for the planet’s eventual occupation and subjugation by the Empire.

None of this is really in the comic by the way. Allegiance works best as a continuation of Star Wars lore and those that have been keeping up with the tug of war of this iconic water planet will find much to latch onto in Ethan Sacks’s script. As has been the case with the past two issues, Leia’s attempts to negotiate with her former allies is the highlight of this story and one wonders if this would have been a better story had much of the rest of the sequel trilogy cast not tagged along.

As is, Sacks still seems to be struggling with how to dig into these iconic new characters. Rey feels overly brash and confrontational as opposed to her more cautious and introspective self. Rose rotates between being awkward and fumbling and having moments of incredible bravery in a manner that feels less in tune with her cinematic counterpart. Finn and Poe don’t fare much better in their still mostly perfunctory B-plot.

Even the usually solid Luke Ross turns in some rather awkward work this week. There is one moment in particular during Finn’s battle with his bounty hunter enemies that is uncharacteristically clunky and confusing in its execution that it forced me to reread three times before I really had any idea what happened.

Allegiance continues to disappoint. There’s a potential story of value here, but it’s failing to congeal in its current state. Let’s hope Resistance Reborn offers the Rise of Skywalker lead up that we’ve been hoping for.

Score: C

[tenscupcake]

Kingdom Hearts 3 - An Honest Review

I’d like to preface this review by saying I am an unabashed Kingdom Hearts geek. Like, through and through. I played KH1 when I was just a tween, and have picked up a copy every installment since (in some cases, even bought the entire console just to play that one game). I still have CDs of the game soundtracks, a few discs which have nearly burnt out on replay in my car. Sanctuary After the Battle will forever make me cry, whether or not I’m watching the cutscene that goes along with it. I’ve replayed most of the titles multiple times. Wasted away hours on YouTube watching Story So Far recaps and funny commentaries about the games in preparation for KH3. Like millions of other enthusiasts, I have been eagerly and patiently (all right, sometimes not so patiently) awaiting the arrival of KH3 since the moment I first finished KH2 – 13 very, very long years ago.

At around eight o’clock on premiere night, I took my place in line at my local GameStop wearing my Kingdom Hearts t-shirt and pajama pants, brandishing the miniature Kingdom Key clipped to my lanyard. Finally holding that blue case in my hands was absolutely surreal. One of those natural highs it took me hours to come down from. Tears welled up in my eyes at the first few somber piano keys as the title screen faded into view.

Lots of people asked me, in the weeks and even months leading up to the release (because believe me, at any opportunity, I would not shut up about how excited I was about this game), if I thought it would live up to the hype. Pfft, I thought. People outside the KH fandom never understand. Of course it will. Sure, the series has had its weak links, its hiccups (the battle system in COM and the perpetual re-releases of old games with minor tweaks, to name a couple). But with the compelling cinematic storytelling and uniquely delightful gameplay of the main series’ smash hits - KH1, KH2, and BBS – in their repertoire, I knew the team at Square was capable of pulling this off. To me, it was just a given that it would be epic. That playing it would be worth all the years of waiting. I had absolutely no doubt in my mind this game was going to be lit. As. Hell.

I’m only saying all this so as not to give the impression I went into this game looking to find flaws, to nitpick it. Or with the expectation of being disappointed. In fact, quite the opposite.

I wanted to love this game. To me, loving KH games is one of very few constants in my life. I was supposed to love this game. I needed to love this game.

But the truth is, I didn’t.

That statement has been pretty difficult for me to come to terms with.

In what few early reviews and videos I’ve found of people discussing their thoughts on the game, I’ve found fans to be quite split: with some unreservedly loving, others downright hating the game.

I fall somewhere in the middle of the polarized fandom. I did NOT hate the game. It was actually a good, if not great game. But putting it on a sliding scale of satisfaction and disappointment, I would say it’s tipping toward the latter. And as it’s taken me hours of mulling, reading, and discussing with other players to characterize and articulate precisely why, and because I think I owe it not only to the series and the characters therein, but also my younger self to leave no stone unturned, this review is going to be a long one.

I’m finding it easiest to break it down by category:

Graphics.

This game is beautiful. It was sort of a dream come true to meander around in real time with the gorgeously, smoothly animated versions of Sora and the gang that we’d previously only been able to see in the rare cinematic cutscenes at each game’s beginning and end. Most of the Disney and even Pixar worlds and characters are rendered to nearly the same quality as their film counterparts. I often found myself just standing in place for a while, admiring it all. The vivid green landscapes of Corona, the beaches and sprawling sea in the Caribbean, the towering cityscape of San Fransokyo. And walking on water where the sky meets the sea? Stunning.

Gameplay.

All in all, this game is pretty damn fun to play. It was all I thought about during long days at work: I couldn’t wait to jump back into the action. Pounding on Heartless still brings me back to the good old days. And who doesn’t want to run up the side of buildings as Riku and Roxas demonstrated so epically, so long ago, in the World That Never Was? Soar to sky-high Heartless as easily as you can lock onto them? These new movement aspects brought an almost superhero-esque quality to the game, reminiscent of Spider-man’s wall-crawling or Batman’s grappling hook, that, if a bit unrealistic, I found to be immense fun. And compared to previous games, worlds are no longer cordoned off into many separate areas, and with the sheer scale of them, KH3 experiments with a quasi-open-world style that is rather freeing.

I also really appreciate that the character interactions with your party and with NPCs felt much less clunky. For one thing, they FINALLY did away with the press X-to-progress text-only conversations that were so prevalent in previous games, with all the dialogue left to voice actors. Even minor NPCs that only show up one time were given a voice, making every interaction that much more immersive. Transitions from cutscenes to the action were also much more fluid, and Sora and his current teammates talk to one another as you pow around. Even if it’s just a warning from Goofy you’re going the wrong way, or a heads-up from Donald there’s an ingredient or lucky emblem nearby, it was still a new feature I was glad to have.

Combat-wise, this game has a lot going for it. This installment brings nearly all the combat styles we’ve seen up until this point: magic, combos, form changes, flowmotion, shotlock, companion team-ups, and links. And it even introduces a few new ones on top of all this: the ability to swap between three different keyblades at will, and the new Disney parks-inspired attraction commands, where you can summon roller coasters, tea cups, and spinning carousels to your heart’s content. What this enables is for the player to never get bored during a battle. With so many options to choose from in each new enemy encounter, you never have to stick with the same combat style or get stuck in a rut of just mashing X to hack and slash everything. All things considered, Sora’s got some pretty sick moves this time around. Whipping out Thundaza, watching lightning explode across the screen and zap all the enemies in sight with it? Wicked. Floating above the ground, wreaking ethereal, glowing havoc with the Mirage Staff? Awesome. Surrounded by a sea of Heartless, locking onto 32 different targets at once and unleashing a flurry of lasers to slash through them all? Amazing. Thumbs getting fatigued fighting the third maddening iteration of Xehanort? Give yourself a break from the chaos in a giant, technicolor pirate ship, watching it thwack your adversary on every rock back and forth.

On one hand, the hefty damage most of these combat options deal gives the game an almost Ratchet and Clank-esque ‘blowing shit up’ vibe, which is undeniably fun. But, this array of choices does become a double-edged sword. With grand magic, attraction commands, form changes, and team attacks all fighting for space atop the command deck, they tend to pile up quickly. It’s not at all uncommon to rack up three or four different situation commands after only about 30 seconds of fighting. Sometimes, the constant need to make a choice, especially in a busy battle, can be more of a burden than a blessing. Having to shift between situation command selections on top of attacking, blocking, and accessing your shortcuts can be a bit cumbersome.

Unlike in previous games, there also aren’t many consequences for over-using special attacks. In KH2, your drive gauge ran out and needed to be slowly refilled. You also ran the increasingly high risk of morphing into the near-helpless Anti-Sora by relying too much on drive forms. But here, no matter how many times you’ve used a special attack, your MP will reload in a few seconds, and you can easily just ignore the situation command for Rage Form when it pops up. In BBS, it felt like it took a good while to power up to a form change, whereas in KH3 it seems like you can spend just as much time in a powered-up keyblade form change as in regular combat.

And, because so many of these situation commands are so powerful and frequent, they tend to dominate the entire battle, making the combat in the game much easier than previous games. Bordering on too easy. Where in other entries in the main series, I usually had to die several times on each boss in Proud mode before I devised the right strategy to defeat them, I rarely died at all in this game. On the surface, that isn’t such a bad thing. As I like to say a lot of the time, when I play a game “I’m here for a good time, not a hard time.” But there comes a point when the combat is so easy that it no longer gives you that sense of accomplishment when you progress past a tough batch of heartless or a particularly merciless boss – you know, that punching the air, whooping to yourself sort of pride. I was definitely missing that, at times.

Believe it or not, I think the Disney attraction commands, though powerful, and at first hilarious, were a bit too extra. After only a few hours in they just became annoying, and I was doing my best to ignore them when they popped up, even wishing I could turn them off. Now and then, I’d accidentally trigger the Blaster or the raft ride and just roll my eyes while canceling back out of it. Because it doesn’t really feel like you’re doing any fighting, let alone the real-time keyblade-style fighting uniquely special to this series. And forget trying to effectively aim while you’re in one. After a while the only thing I found them useful for was, as I mentioned earlier, taking a break from a fight when you’re fatigued, as they give your thumbs a break and cause you to take much less damage. While they were cool at first, my final impression of this addition to the combat was all flash, no substance.

I was one of the few who actually liked and took advantage of flowmotion in DDD, and was excited to see it brought back here. But this, too, turned out to be mostly another annoyance. I’m not sure if it’s because the actionable objects are so much more spread out in KH3, or because they actually built in restrictions on combos here, but I was unable to keep a flow going at all. After only one successful strike after leaping off a wall or pole, the blue glow of momentum vanished. It didn’t feel like “flowmotion” at all, just a one-and-done special attack that tended to kill any rhythm I had going moreso than facilitate it. So while conceptually and visually it was promising, I unfortunately no longer found it very useful.

Also, and I realize this is completely subjective, but I found the form changes to be stylistically underwhelming overall. I thought the drive forms in KH2 (especially Master and Final) were visually and stylistically cooler, and seemed to have more finesse.

Worlds.

When I was whisked away from San Fransokyo and landed in the final world of the game, I found myself disappointed by the number of worlds I’d been to, expecting there to be a handful more. Though, when I counted the worlds up, the tally was at nine. So I asked myself why it felt like so little, when nine didn’t seem like a small number. But, tallying up the worlds in previous games, KH1 had 13, KH2 had 15, and BBS had 10. Which does put KH3 on the low end of world count. Also, in all three of these previous games (especially KH2 and BBS), you had to return to these worlds more than once, usually unlocking new content and/or areas each time, leading it to feel like there were more worlds than there actually were. Though KH3 has a comparable length of gameplay to complete the story, it definitely does feel like it comes up short in terms of variety of worlds you get to visit. As a result, some of the worlds where you spend 3 or 4 hours at a time can start to feel like they’re dragging on a little bit. And on the flipside of that, there are certain worlds that you technically do visit in KH3 I did not include in the world count, because you are there for such a fleeting amount of time, or in such a tiny portion of the world – e.g. Land of Departure, the Realm of Darkness. Worlds that would have been awesome to get to actually explore! And perhaps the biggest letdown of all, though you get to visit Destiny Islands and Radiant Garden via cutscenes, there is no play time in either. Serious bummer.

As far as the worlds they did choose to include, the selection admittedly left me ambivalent. I was really glad to see Toy Story, Monsters Inc., and Big Hero 6 included, but wasn’t over the moon about any of the others. I was really counting on having a Wreck-It-Ralph world (I mean, how perfect would that be?), and would love to have seen them tackle Zootopia, Wall-E, Meet the Robinsons, or the Incredibles. I’d even settle for a return to Halloween Town (shameless NBC fangirl, what can I say). The Emperor’s New Groove could have been pretty damn funny. Even A Bug’s Life or Finding Nemo could have offered some unique gameplay opportunities. Certainly better content to work with than Frozen, at any rate.

As far as the plot/experience within the worlds, I also found it to be a mixed bag. I did enjoy all of them, even ones I did not expect to enjoy too much (i.e. Frozen and Pirates). Honestly, though, I found myself a bit bored in worlds where they followed the plot of the films too closely, to the point that it felt like an abridged re-hash of the movies. I know they’ve taken this approach before with earlier Kingdom Hearts games, and I may sound like a hypocrite for only critiquing it now. But I think even in stories where they did do this earlier, like Tarzan or Aladdin, they executed the re-tellings more successfully. The plotline was altered just enough to ensure Sora was a part of the action through and through. After playing those games, Sora was indelibly inserted into those films in my head. To where the next time I watched them, I was jokingly asking myself “Where’s Sora?” But that was not the feeling I got here. In worlds like Corona or the Caribbean, Sora was just sort of jammed into the plot where he didn’t really fit. In many of the longer cutscenes, I actually forgot Sora was even there – even forgot I was playing Kingdom Hearts. Sora didn’t really feel needed. I definitely found it more enjoyable to be part of a new adventure with the characters – like what was done with Toy Story and Big Hero 6, where Sora was able to play more of an active role in progressing the subplot. It was nice to feel like I mattered!

Extras.

These were hit-or-miss for me. I actually screeched with excitement when Sora and the gang ran into Remy, and enjoyed the scavenger hunt for ingredients. And while cooking with little chef was a treat I wouldn’t want to see cut from the game, I found most of the cooking mini-games to be simultaneously too short (less than 10 seconds each!) and needlessly hard to master (especially cracking that egg).

Admittedly a Disney and Disneyland fanatic, I also got a kick out of the lucky emblems (aka hidden mickeys). I thought they were one of the most fun collectibles we’ve seen to date in the franchise.

Which brings me to one of the more controversial extras in the game: the gummiphone! While a lot of people are ragging on the inclusion of this dynamic, I enjoyed it. The Instagram loading screens were a little jarring at first, but they really grew on me. And being able to point the camera at Goofy, Sully, or Hiro and watch them pose for a picture in real-time was nothing short of adorable.

Another thing that surprised me? The game’s occasional self-awareness. I almost included a separate category for this, because I’ve never seen another game do this, and did not see it coming! But the “KINGDOM HEARTS II.9” title screen gave me a good chuckle. It doesn’t make up for all the 1.5, 2.8, 0.2 nonsense we’ve had to put up with, but it’s at least nice to see they can poke fun at their own ridiculousness. And when Sora laments how long it’s been since he’s seen the folks in Twilight Town; then Hayner, confused and even a little creeped out, says “It hasn’t been that long”. Simply acknowledging the vast disconnect between the short time that’s passed in-universe since KH2 and how egregiously long the fans had to wait – well, it had me in stitches. It was morbid laughter, sure, but refreshing nonetheless.

Um, the folk dancing in the square in Corona? Literal funniest thing ever.

One thing that I really missed? Closing keyholes. Finishing worlds wasn’t the same without them.

At this point in the review, I’ve covered basically every aspect I can think of save for one: the story. I’ve purposely saved it for last, because it’s the most important aspect of the series to me, the one that can make or break a Kingdom Hearts game.

From the categories I’ve judged thus far – content, visuals, gameplay, extras – I’d probably give this game a solid 8 or 9/10. I had some issues with the overly cluttered combat, the difficulty level, and the slight disappointment with which worlds were included and the ways they chose to play out the subplots in each. But in the grand scheme of things, all these complaints are minor, and don’t detract from the fact that it’s just plain fun, in a new league with some of the most entertaining and most beautiful titles out there.

But that’s exactly it. Beautiful graphics are the new bare minimum for this generation of console gaming. If a game released for the PS4 or Switch isn’t visually outstanding, it runs a real risk of faltering behind the competition. There is no shortage of beautiful games on the market in 2019.

And if I want a fun game, I can pop back into Mario Odyssey or get a group together to duke it out in Super Smash Ultimate. I can easily download a dozen fun platformers on Steam for less than 50 bucks.

Yes, KH3 is really beautiful, and really fun.

But that’s not why I was so excited to play it.

A legion of kids and teenagers stuck with this series well into their twenties and thirties, never giving up on the release of the next installment. Trudged through handheld games and blocky graphics and clunky battle systems and convoluted plot lines. Why? Well, of course I can’t speak for all KH fans, but for me, and all the ones I know personally, it’s because of the story. It’s always been what, in my mind, sets KH apart from any other video game I’ve ever played. It’s the only game series that’s ever made me cry. The only one I’ve ever owned merchandise for. The only one I’ve ever been so invested in that I can discuss it with friends, even acquaintances, for hours on end. The only one that’s made me care so much about the characters that they feel like my friends. With how much time has passed since I started, maybe even my kids. No pun intended, the series has heart. It contains the same sort of magic that going to Disneyland as a child did. Or, it used to.

Kingdom Hearts 3 didn’t need to just be a great game. It needed to be a Kingdom Hearts game. One that built a wove a compelling story filled with intrigue and emotion from the first hour. One that did justice to all the characters (and by now, there are a lot of them) that we’ve grown to love over the last 17 years. One where a prepubescent kid can yell a speech up at a threatening villain that makes you believe, harder than you’ve ever believed, in the power of friendship. One that instills a childlike optimism that no matter how dark the world gets, as long as someone keeps fighting, good can still triumph over evil. One that tugs on the heartstrings in just the right ways, at just the right moments, to manage to make you cry – repeatedly – over a gang of outspoken, angsty kids with clown feet.

The thing about the story in KH3 is: it’s not inherently a bad story. Sure, it’s a mess, it doesn’t make much sense, it leaves you with more questions than answers, it’s incredibly cheesy, and it retcons a good deal of lore from previous installments. But many of these things could be said of other Kingdom Hearts games. The fact that these descriptors apply to KH3 isn’t what disqualifies it as a worthy entry in the series, in my mind.

For the most part, it’s not the story itself I found disappointing. After all, think about how a summary sounds on paper: reunions with long lost characters, long-awaited battles, conclusions of lengthy character and story arcs. 

The biggest problem wasn’t so much the concept of the story, but rather the execution.

First of all, the pacing. The pacing was terrible. Almost nothing happens the first 20-25 hours of the game. I can think of maybe two scenes that got me on the edge of my seat, gripping my controller in the hopes it would advance the plot further: the scene with Mickey and Riku in the realm of darkness where you get to play as Riku for a few minutes (sadly the only time in the game that you do), and running into Vanitas in Monstropolis. Nothing. Else. Happened. Sure you run into Larxene in Arendelle, and goof around chasing Luxord in the Caribbean, but none of this is actually relevant to the plot we care about. Certainly not the plot the story is telling us to care about from the beginning.

And that leads me to the second issue – how vague your objective actually is. The ultimate objective of the game seems clear enough: rescue Aqua from the realm of darkness, maybe worry about the other two Wayfinder trio once we’ve found her, and defeat Xehanort. But this is not Sora’s given objective. Rather, it’s to find the ‘power of waking.’ Which is not explained, either to Sora or the player. Sora, on the other hand, appoints himself to another mission entirely: contemplating the unfairness of Roxas’ disappearance, he seems to mainly be focused on finding him and restoring him to a physical existence. However, this mission is starkly at odds with the canonical explanation of Nobodies in general and Roxas, specifically. The last time we saw Roxas (chronologically speaking) he reunited with Sora, and as far as we know, he’s still part of Sora. So, the mission to “find” Roxas as if he exists as an entity in the real world is perplexing. Second, lacking hearts, Nobodies can’t exist as a whole on their own. So even assuming we can “find” him in Sora, how far we going to bring him back without splintering Sora into a Heartless and a Nobody again? Even according to the series’ own complex lore, it doesn’t make sense. Therefore, the first half or more of the game seems aimless, not really knowing what we’re meant to be doing, or how. It’s hard to be invested in a story with no clear objective. Not something we can easily get on board with like “Find Riku and Kairi” or “Track down the Organization.” Just “Go find the power of waking.” Okay.

And while a lot (and I mean a lot) happens in the last 4-5 hours of the story to tie up loose ends, it’s crammed together in such a jumbled rush that it’s almost impossible to appreciate any of it.

After collecting Aqua and Ventus, long lost characters reappear on screen one right after another assembly-line style, to the point that none of them feels special or poignant anymore.

Not only that, but the characters who are brought back, many of them beloved protagonists from earlier installments in the series, are not given any time to shine.

It was promising when they let Aqua fight Vanitas in the newly restored Land of Departure. Ven is her friend, her responsibility; it was her fight. But with this taste of getting back a playable character from the franchise, I expected that as the plot progressed, it would open up plenty more chances for past protagonists to take the stage. That we’d be able to step back into the oversized shoes of other playable characters we’d missed. That when (or if) others returned in all their glory, they’d get to strut their stuff.

But that is precisely the opposite of what happened.

I mean, Ventus didn’t get to steal the spotlight for the final clash with Vanitas? By definition, his natural foil?

Terra didn’t get to exact his revenge in an epic showdown with Xehanort, the guy who stole his body and enslaved him for more than a decade?

Roxas and Axel, reunited, couldn’t team up to pound on the Organization members that tormented them? Instead, after his surprise entrance, Roxas got hardly any screen presence at all, and Axel’s epic new flaming keyblade got destroyed, making him sit out most of the fighting after all the build up that he was training to fight?

Oh, and you know who else was utterly useless through the final battles, demoted once again to a damsel in distress despite years of hype that she’d wield a keyblade in this installment, and multiple cutscenes indicating she, too, was training to actually fight? Yup. I don’t even need to say the name.

And to only get one small boss fight as Riku, when in the previous installment he had half the screen time?

The heroes we’ve missed for so long and longed to return to the screen are not resurrected with the dignity and respect they deserve. They are relegated to side characters, who are either completely sidelined for the final battles, or else just hacking away mindlessly in the background as you marathon one ridiculously easy “boss” after another Olympus Coliseum-style.

Speaking of resurrecting characters: the manner in which they brought some of them back was so nebulous it was impossible to understand, let alone experience any sort of emotional reaction.

For one: Roxas. For starters, it’s pretty lazy writing to have Sora be the one pursuing his return (however that was supposed to happen), only to have that pursuit peter out completely, and for Roxas to just appear at the final battle with no resolution or explanation of how. (Nor the satisfaction of fleshing out how Sora achieved it.) But more importantly, where did he come from? There was no scene in which he emerged from Sora’s being. So, where was he? Also, I get that they must have used the replica Demyx/Ansem brought Ienzo as a vessel for him, but how does he have his own heart now? There was no evidence to indicate Sora or Ven lost theirs again. This is a pretty glaring plot hole.

Second? Naminé. This one really came out of left field. No one had even spoken about Naminé the entire game, save one throwaway line. Then all of a sudden, near the very end of the game, everyone cares about bringing her back, too? Even Sora, despite his hours-long obsession with bringing back Roxas without a word about Naminé, sees a newly empty vessel and asks “Oh, is that for Naminé?” All I could do at this point was laugh at the absurdity of it all. 

Even more confusing? Xion. She was a replica, with no heart, no personality... a walking vial for Sora’s memories. How on Earth did she get brought back? What was there to bring back? And what was the point? Xion always felt far more like a plot device than an actual character.

At this point, so little made sense and so many characters had appeared in a row with no regard for continuity or maintaining canon that my heart was really starting to sink. It all felt like it was meant to be fan service. Bring back everyone’s favorite characters: they’ll love that, right? But the issue is they did it no matter what rules they had to break, or canon they had to ignore. Sure, I wanted a lot of these characters back, I think a lot of people did. But not at the expense of good writing.

Even if one completely excuses the hole-filled poor writing that got us there, it didn’t even feel real that we had these awesome characters back. Because they just sort of existed, as high-def cool anime hair and porcelain skin and not much else. Not only did they not get to show us what they’re made of in epic fight sequences, but there was no meaningful dialogue from any of them. Where was Terra giving his friends any sort of recollection of his time as Ansem’s guardian? Riku and Roxas making amends? Aqua thanking Sora for keeping Ven safe? A brofest about protecting their friends between Riku and Terra? Axel saying anything at all meaningful to his best friend when he finally saw him again? For all the reunions we got, it was shocking how little substance there actually was in any of them. 

It was an insanely rushed ending, with stunted, shallow dialogue, and awkward tears that felt forced rather than genuine.

KH3 is to KH1&2 what Moffat Who is to RTD Who. A lot more flash, a lot less substance, and hollowed out characters that no longer provoke deep emotion.

Characters’ emotions were not handled well in this game. Like when Sora, notorious for being a persistent optimist, dissolves to hysterics and claims he’s “nothing” without his friends. But we never get to see this sharp departure from his M.O. (because he has lost his friends over and over throughout the series without reacting this way) really wrestled with. It’s just swept under the rug after a single line from Riku. It’s okay for characters to hit rock bottom: in fact, it’s good for them. But such episodes have to be properly fleshed out, or they won’t have an impact.

Also, just my two cents? Making your characters cry is not a shortcut to get your audience to cry. It’s a lazy way of demonstrating feeling. In the writing world, there’s something called “show, don’t tell.” Making characters cry left and right with hardly any time devoted to the proper dialogue and action is the equivalent of telling, rather than showing. This series is unique to me precisely because it’s the only video game to make me cry (repeatedly). But I didn’t shed a tear in this game. And I think that is so telling. I always think of this behind the scenes video I watched for Doctor Who, in which they filmed different versions of a (very) emotional scene. In one of these versions, the Doctor properly breaks down and cries. David (the actor) upon seeing this version played back to him, said: “I worry if you see him breaking down, it stops you breaking down, as well.” He was onto something there. They didn’t end up using that take in the episode, and I think everyone would agree it was the right call. I’m not saying crying is inherently bad and always to be avoided. In fact, the opposite: it can be very powerful if used sparingly, and at the right moments with the right build-up. But overusing it, with no apparent regard for characterization nuances, basically making it your only method for tell your audience a character is emotional? It’s a little insulting. You also need good dialogue, good acting (or in this case, good animation and voice acting), and proper timing if you want to strike a chord with anyone.

Which, speaking of, I thought both the dialogue and the voice acting in the game as a whole left something to be desired (and seemed almost painfully slow?), and I think a big reason why emotional moments tended to ring hollow.

Onto another aspect of the story: how it ties in to earlier installments in the series. There was a fair amount of speculation going into this game whether or not smaller, handheld-console based installments and extra nuggets from mobile games and re-releases would be relevant in KH3. But regardless of which side of the argument fans fell on, the fact remains that many fans had only played KH1 and KH2, possibly BBS, prior to playing KH3. Many people don’t have the money or the interest in playing on multiple handheld consoles (me being one of them, though I toughed it out in this case) or cell phones, nor the tireless dedication and yes, more money, to purchase games a second time for Final Mix versions and secret endings. This is not a bad thing. It doesn’t mean they are bad fans, or less deserving of playing or enjoying KH3. Someone should not have to be a zealous super-fan to be able to enjoy a video game, or any form of entertainment. If you show up to Avengers: Endgame without having seen some of the previous major installments in the film franchise, you are probably going to be confused. I don’t recommend doing that. But is it necessary to have re-watched them all 20 times, speculated for hours on blogs and message boards, and read decades worth of Avengers comics to be able to understand it? Of course not. Though some insufferable comic book elitists insist they’re better than everyone else because they know more about the Marvel universe, the fact is you don’t have to be a Marvel super-fan to enjoy the films. That’s how it should be. Because it’s okay to be a casual fan of something. Content creators normally recognize this, and respect all of their audience. But here, there was critical information from pretty much every spinoff handheld game that you needed in order to have any idea what was going on. There wasn’t even any recap system like in KH2 (the static memories) to get you up to speed on what had happened in the series up until this point. Not to mention the location of the final boss fight, as well as the very last cutscenes centered around a mobile game/movie that I had never even heard of until I was in the middle of playing KH3. Now I am something of a KH geek as I said, so I’ve sat through Union Cross now and done my best to understand some of the more obscure lore. But, call me crazy, I don’t think it’s fair to expect every single person who plays the game to do that in order to understand it. Games are supposed to be fun, not homework.

Which brings me to my last point: this game was supposed to be the end of the saga as we know it. Whether it’s the end of the series or simply the end of this story arc and subsequent games will follow a villain besides the many iterations of Xehanort is yet to be seen (as of me writing this), but it was established this game would be the end to the main trilogy so far. And, to have that end be the main character swanning off on his own (as some have speculated, possibly to his death)? With everyone else from the series partying on the beach like someone important isn’t missing? As someone who came into this game expecting closure, I felt completely blindsided by this ending. After all he’s been through and all the sacrifices he’s made, Sora deserves better.

Kingdom Hearts 3 was visually and mechanically a blast, and credit should go to the developers, artists, and designers where credit is due. But as a fan who plays this series not for graphics or flashy gameplay, but to immerse myself in the story, I’m left feeling cheated. The way the plot unfolded and the way the characters were handled did a disservice to both long-time fans of the saga and to the characters themselves.

I always have a hard time with this, but if I had to put a number to it? I’d say maybe 6/10.

It hurt just to type that.

I’m not giving up hope in the franchise. If there’s ever a KH4 (which still seems unclear right now), I’ll probably still play it. I’m trying to give the creators the benefit of the doubt: they were under a lot of pressure to create a great game, and had too much time in development on their hands and too many sprawling ideas and tried to do too much at once. I’m all for second chances. But if they want the trust of fans like me back, they’re going to have to earn it.

Over the last couple months as I’ve put together this review, I’ve found myself in doubt. Even, dare I say it, like a bad fan, though in principle I vehemently reject the notion someone is a bad fan for disliking an installment of any franchise they love. Am I just too old for Kingdom Hearts now? I wondered. Was I romanticizing the series the whole time, and it’s not as good as I’ve built it up to be in my head? After all my time spent waiting, am I being too critical? I tortured myself over it. So, a couple of weeks after finishing KH3, I popped in the 1.5/2.5 HD compilation into the PS4 and restarted KH2. I had to see if it even came close to the hype I’d built in my head in the 8 or 9 years since I played it last. Almost 60 hours of gameplay later, I can say with confidence that I had not romanticized it at all. This game is amazing. I didn’t mind watching 30 minutes of cutscenes at a time because everything is so compelling. So the graphics are dated, but who cares? The combat is FUN without ever being cumbersome. It’s just the right level of difficulty that there are still some battles and bosses that require multiple attempts and the journey continuously instills a sense of pride and accomplishment. It has so much heart. I still teared up in the same places I used to as a teenager.

KH2 is still a perfect 10/10, and playing it again with fresh eyes only made me realize just how disappointing KH3 actually was.

There’s an old adage that it’s the things we love most that hurt us the most. I wouldn’t feel so let down, or compelled to write 6800 words why, if I didn’t love this series with all my heart. I’ve seen a lot of fans insulting and belittling anyone who dares to criticize the game online, and frankly I’m baffled by that. I critique and discuss all forms of entertainment I enjoy: and that includes both the strengths and weaknesses, the successes and flaws. And I guess I tend to associate with people who do the same. It doesn’t make us bad fans, but passionate ones. I’m not sending hate mail to Square telling them the game unequivocally sucks. I don’t have any ill will towards them or think they’re irredeemable writers or developers. I’m simply recording and posting my honest thoughts to help myself process how I’m feeling, and perhaps others if they choose to read them.

I’m genuinely happy for the fans who loved the game and felt it worth the wait – I don’t want to pick any fights with them (so please don’t pick any fights with me, either). I’m sadly - believe me, no one is sadder than me to admit this - just not one of them.

[jmsebastian]

Great Adaptation Expectations - Sword of the Berserk: Guts' Rage

Some things just demand to be adapted into video games, and Kentaro Miura’s dark fantasy manga series Berserk stands pretty much atop that list. Released in 1999 and developed by Yuke’s in cooperation with Miura, Sword of the Berserk: Guts’ Rage is a third-person action game for the Sega Dreamcast that attempted to scratch that initial gamification itch, and ride the success following the first anime adaptation of the series, which premiered two years prior.

Before discussing the details, it’s important to note that Sword of the Berserk suffers the same fate that so many licensed games do. It isn’t very good. Some of that comes down to the era in which it was made. There are a few frustrations that plague it that are typical of an era in which 3D action games were relatively new. That isn’t to say there aren’t things to enjoy about the game. If nothing else, it did help solidify why the approach to how action games played needed to be adjusted. Unfortunately, that means Sword of the Berserk itself, is something of a missed opportunity. On the plus side, it’s not a very long game, so its shortcomings don’t have enough time to grossly overstay their welcome, and any suffering along the way is mercifully brief.

The first obvious issue is the lack of camera control. Going back to play any 3rd person action game without a controllable camera can feel extremely limiting. It’s become such a staple that it feels more unnatural not to have it than it probably did to have it when it was first introduced. Of course, there are certainly examples of very good games that lack it. You can’t control the camera in Onimusha or Devil May Cry, but you don’t tend to notice that limitation as much since the camera is placed in thought ways that reveal the relevant visual information to the player.

Sword of the Berserk’s camera lacks that thoughtfulness. It tries to be dynamic, moving along with your character, but the concern seems to be more on framing Guts in a particular way rather than assisting the player. Given that this is an adaptation of a beautifully drawn manga series, it’s hard to fault the developers for trying to capture some of that magic in their game (which they largely accomplish in the cutscenes), however, it ends up compromising its playability to a fairly extreme degree at times.

You also have the issue of moving toward the camera a lot, meaning you’ll often find yourself running headfirst into danger you can’t see until it’s too late. There’s even an escape sequence near the end of the game reminiscent of Sonic Adventure 2’s opening sequence. You have to run around and jump over obstacles with little warning before you’re right up against them. Without rings to help you cling to life, this is extremely frustrating. One mistake means you die, and in a game with limited checkpoints and continues, it can quickly become the hardest and most frustrating part of the entire experience.

Rollin' around at the speed of sound/Got places to go, gotta follow my rainbow/Can't stick around, have to keep movin' on/Guess what lies ahead, only one way to find out!

Another part of what makes the camera so difficult is that it doesn’t have a lot of room to maneuver, even if the developers might have wanted to. You spend most of your time inside a castle, fighting through narrow corridors and cramped courtyards. In those confined spaces, the camera can’t really move wherever it wants because chances are, level geometry would get in the way. There are few examples of where this does actually happen, such as when you travel below the castle’s cemetery, and an obelisk sitting in the middle of the room complete obscures any figures that move behind it.

Aside from restricting the camera, the level design has the consequence of hampering what the game’s mechanics are centered around entirely, the combat. The whole point of a Berserk game is to play as Guts and swing the laughably huge Dragon Slayer sword around. There are several levels in this game where that is literally impossible. One level in particular, where you run through the castle town has several passageways where you’ll clank your sword against stone trying to land a hit on guards that hinder your progress. The developers seemed to realize this would be a problem, so they put in the option to sheath the Dragon Slayer and fight with your fists. I can say that this is not the most adequate solution. Even playing on the easy difficulty, punching guards out is a dubious proposition. Your damage output is drastically reduced and since the guards can snipe you with arrows from some distance with crossbows, you may well die before even getting the chance.

Let me just, uh, erm, hmm.

On some level, you have to respect the commitment to realism, as you obviously could not swing a sword the size of the Dragon Slayer in most places that human being typically occupy. However, the ability to swing said hunk of iron in the first place is fantastical, and thus, I think it would have been more than a fair compromise to let the sword simply clip through level geometry in an effort to make the combat more fluid and satisfying. Thankfully, the boss fights, which are the main draw of the game’s combat, are usually placed in much more open areas to avoid this issue.

Ultimately, I get the feeling that the game’s design took something of a back seat to the story that Kentaro Miura wanted to tell, and as such, there’s relatively little actual game to be played at all. Of the roughly four hours it takes to get through, most of that time is spent in cutscenes, making Sword of the Berserk more of an animated film than a game. Honestly, this does not really bother me. If you got the game because you were already a fan of Berserk, then what you’re getting is Berserk. What’s especially great about it is that the story told is unique to the game. It’s a side-quest, as it were, to the Millennium Falcon arc, where Guts has decided to keep the traumatized Casca close to him as he continues his quest to defeat Griffith. In this side story, Guts meets some traveling performers and decides to go watch their performance in a nearby town. He ends up walking into the middle of a conflict between the regions lord and people afflicted with a curse, called the Mandragora.

What’s more, is that the story is told quite well. For its time, the Dreamcast was a very capable platform for 3D graphics. Even twenty years later, the cutscenes are enjoyable to watch on their own if you’re willing to overlook a few flaws. Sure, the characters models are a bit blocky and they move a bit like action figures, but robotic movement is a problem that still plagues 3D animation if the 2016 Berserk or 2019 Ultraman anime is anything to go by. There’s still incredible attention to detail. The faces, in particular, have a lot of expression to them and help bring moments to life in a way that seems hard to believe at times.

You can really see the despair on his face.

It helps, too, that the voice acting is of very high quality. With well-known talents like Cam Clarke and Earl Boen, there was a clear emphasis on treating the game’s story seriously. This is extremely important since the story makes up pretty much the whole reason you’d be playing this game in the first place. There are some issues with the localization here and there (the name Guts is treated as a nickname rather than a given name in a few scenes), but the line delivery and interaction between characters really sell the scenes, even if the lines themselves are a bit clunky or cliched. When you compare the cutscenes in Sword of the Berserk to those in say, Tenchu: Stealth Assassins, released just a year earlier, you can’t help but appreciate the skill in direction and experience of the actors when stellar voice-acting in games was not a given.

You could argue that this story could have been served better through manga or traditional animation, but it’s hard to fault Yuke’s for wanting to make a Berserk game, or Miura for wanting to branch out and test the waters on new methods of conveying his story. Berserk’s popularity in Japan meant that a game based on the series was going to be made at some point, and creating a self-contained side story that can be begun and ended within that game makes perfect sense. It also helps make the game approachable by those who aren’t familiar with the series at all. In 1999, Berserk certainly wasn’t considered such a pinnacle of dark fantasy in the West as it is today, so someone picking the game off the shelf in the US would very likely have no frame of reference for the story at all. Thanks to the introduction of new characters like Rita, the player can learn what they need to know through the lens of those characters, making the reliance on that prior knowledge a lot less necessary.

Now that Berserk’s influence has become so far reaching, it seems unlikely that anyone would come to the Dreamcast game without some working knowledge of the series. While it’s hard to consider it a can’t miss part of the Berserk experience (save for the wonderful musical contributions of Susumu Hirasawa), there’s enough there for anyone willing to put up with some clunky design. At the very least, it’s worth watching a playthrough online for the story alone if the act of playing the game itself doesn’t manage to replicate the feeling of becoming the Black Swordsman himself.

[snarkysboys]

Chapter One: First Encounter

The time on her cell phone read 2:13 am. “I hate weekends.” She grumbled under her breath and quickened her pace. Danielle had just gotten off work at a local pizza place and was hurrying home to get some rest before she had to start another shift in the morning. She was aware the area of town she was currently in was mildly dangerous at night, so she kept her hood up and head down, senses on high alert. Since moving to New York, Danielle had yet to encounter any incidents she couldn’t handle, and she intended to keep it that way. Living in the big apple usually meant the usage of a vehicle was more of a hassle than an asset and so, shortly after the move, Danielle’s car was sold for a fraction of what she paid for it and the 24-hour subways became a way of life. Thankfully, her train stop was less than a mile from her apartment which she could cover in roughly eight minutes at the speed with which she hastily walked. Her knockoff canvas shoes barely made a sound as they hit the unyielding cement. Her backpack slung over her shoulder, gently bobbing with each stride. The sky was cloudy with hardly a sliver of moonlight peeking through the mass. Danielle could start to make out the convenience store on the corner that signaled her to turn left in order to reach her destination.  

Suddenly, there was a loud POP that echoed through the deserted streets and Danielle stopped in her tracks, turning her head towards the noise. A deafening screech followed the noise and Danielle saw a flash of metal skid around the corner clearing a path that led directly to her. The headlights blinded her as she stood unwavering a moment but then, as if shot with a volt of electricity, she reacted and launched herself out of the sights of the uncontrollable ivory van.  She felt the air whoosh by her as the van careened past then she stared transfixed as it continued at full speed on a one-way trip to the dead end of an alley. Her eyes widened the instant it made impact with the brick wall.  

The sound of metal on rock was thunderous. Danielle stood paralyzed for a minute, watching the smashed van as a thin stream of smoke began to rise from it. The horrid realization creeping over her that whoever was in that car couldn’t have possibly survived. She unconsciously took a small step towards the van. A dozen scenarios played in her head of ways this situation would play out. The ambulance, the police report, watching a stretcher be wheeled away. Danielle could tell the shock of the event was weighing heavily on her as her limbs appeared to be locked in place. She couldn’t bring herself to reach for her phone or move out of the street or even breathe. Then she noticed a rattling on the back doors. Someone was still inside! Before she was even aware of her actions, Danielle found herself racing towards the van.  

“Hey! Don’t worry in there! I’m gonna get you out okay?“ She called, nearing the back of the van. She heard no reply but the persistent jiggling on the other side of the door continued. She reached for the handle and tugged. The van was a common model used for construction or electric workers. There was only the driver and passenger side doors at the front and then two large rear doors used to store large transportable equipment. Much of the damage was at the front of the car, folding in on itself like an accordion in a way that completely obscured the front seats of the vehicle. The back had been dented slightly outwards, considerably blocking the hinges, but the rear windows had somehow managed to survive. Danielle pulled with all her strength on both handles to no avail. She then looked around frantically and saw a stray brick from the impact nearby. She quickly picked it up, shouting, “Hey! Cover your head and close your eyes, okay?! I’m gonna break the window!" 

She waited a moment but again no reply. She raised the brick above her head and smashed into the glass window with an excessive amount of adrenaline fueled force. It gave way instantly. She gave another softer hit to some of the stray shards along the bottom of the pane. "Okay. Dont panic. I’m gonna get you out of here.” As she shakily shouted words of reassurance, she was quickly taking off her hoodie to put it along the bottom of the broken window in case any large shards remained that could cut the person still trapped inside. Unbeknownst to her, her cell phone, which had been residing inside her jacket’s pocket, slipped out as she did this and landed to the ground with a dull thud.  

 As she laid the hoodie gingerly across the broken window ledge, she was finally able to peer inside of the van. Immediately she was greeted with two neon pink eyes staring back. She recoiled but didn’t step back, quickly noticing the stillness of the form. Her heart stilled as she curiously examined the mysterious figure. She saw the eyes belonged to a translucent blue humanoid body whose arms stretched out and latched around the handles of the rear doors. It was apparent the form was not human however, since directly under its transparent teal skin was the gears and cranks that powered this machine. And as her gaze drifted lower, she noticed a large pink mass she couldn’t quite identify resting in its abdomen.  

Danielle tore her eyes from the strange robotic creature to quickly scan the rest of the vehicle for signs of any sentient passengers residing within. The van bed was nearly empty, housing nothing else except a handful of canisters with a strange neon green jelly sloshing around inside. Danielle was perplexed but managed to find her voice as she uttered out a, “Uh…anyone in here?” That’s when the robot struck, jutting out one of its lightning fast arms to grab Danielle, latching its cold digits tightly around her face. She could feel the steel painfully pressing into her cheekbone and chin, stifling her from opening her mouth to scream. In another fluid motion, the robot reached for the window ledge with its other hand and propelled its body gracefully through the hole. The robot landed outside the smoking van with Danielle being dragged along with it. Her knees hit the ground with traumatizing impact but she was denied releasing a vocal assurance of the pain. She desperately reached up with both her hands to try and break the grip on her face but only ended up slicing deep gashes into her palms on the rough ridges that jutted off of the robots mangled exterior. Panic was starting to swell in her chest when suddenly-

“Hey Kraang! What do you think you’re doing? Put the civilian down!” She heard a voice echoing down the alleyway behind her followed by a swift sound of metal. Before she had the opportunity to try and signal her would be savior, she felt her body abruptly launch into the air until her toes could only gently kiss the ground below. Her cheeks were bruising and her hair was painfully twisted around the metal shrapnel on the robotic hand. It felt as if Danielle’s head might burst. She kicked out, making contact with the robot a few times, before she felt her body being drawn closer then flung outwards at high speed. However, she quickly made impact with a dumpster along the opposite side of the alleyway then shortly after, the ground. The force knocked the wind out of her, leaving Danielle dizzy but still conscious and she turned her head back toward the droid. To see it currently engaged in combat. 

The assailant was quick and too difficult to make out clearly in the dark shrouds of the alley but Danielle noted their motions were sweeping and elegant. They carried two large bladed weapons that seemed to dance with the enemy. In comparison, the AI looked clunky and disorganized compared to the calculated attacks dealt out by her rescuer. Danielle could make out the person having a rather large protrusion along his back and many flashes of green suggested his outfit was primarily in that color. The robot suddenly stopped engaging attacks with its target and instead raced back to the van, taking a running start to plunge half of its body through the shattered window Danielle had made. She thought maybe the robot was attempting retreat as the shrouded man gave chase. The very next moment proved that to be wrong as the robot reemerged with a large metallic gun shaped object in its hand. It quickly hiked the gun up into position, peered through the sites along the top of the barrel and fired a bright pink laser projectile that made direct contact with her rescuer, blasting him backwards. 

Danielle’s disbelief with her own eyesight was hitting a tipping point but she tried to reassure herself and calm her frayed nerves. She reached for the backpack still holding desperately to her shoulder and tore into the zippers, frantically hunting for her cell phone. She dumped the contents of the bag on the ground when she had no luck blindly searching by feel and felt fear start to kick in when it was nowhere to be seen in her array of objects. 

And then it was all over.  

The man in green somehow flipped the robot over the protrusion along his back and launched him onto the top of the van where the robot lay a moment in bewilderment. The man wasted no time following him on top of the vehicle and then violently drove one of his weapons straight down into the head of the AI, pausing just a moment before ripping it off the rest of the body. The robot lay still and the man used his foot to dislodge the decapitated head free from the weapon he held. Was that a sword? The last thing Danielle noticed was a fleshy mass of pink plopping off the side of the van then dashing wildly past her and out of the alley. Whatever it was she thought she saw could not begin to decode in her brain at that moment so she chose to ignore it for now.  

At this point she was finally able to will her body to adequately move and she pulled her head and shoulders off the concrete, supported by her elbows. She noticed the blood from her hands had pooled down her arms and was splattered along the ground. When she turned her head back up the sword wielder was now hovering directly above her. He hesitated a moment before swiftly picking her up and draping her along one shoulder then he dashed to the end of the alleyway where he hooked onto a fire escape railing and hoisted them both up. He hurriedly took them both to the rooftop while Danielle held the rough, hard mass attached to the mans back. The shock of the entire experience lent to her willingness of being snatched by the armed man.

He carried her a few blocks from the scene of the attack, easily clearing rooftops by jumping from scaffolding to scaffolding. Danielle could hear the sounds of sirens ringing in the distance below them. In this city, they could be heading to check out the crash the two of them just fled from or they could be headed to a  completely unrelated emergency.  

After a while the man finally halted and gingerly helped her down off his shoulder. He held onto her elbows to steady her while she gained her footing. “There we go. Easy does it.” He said and she looked up to get her first full view of her hero.. 

And she couldn’t help but gasp. Standing in front of her was a fully scaled emerald green humanoid turtle. His shell stood noticeably above his shoulders and attached around the front of his midsection. Laced across his waist was a belt with a few satchels sewn inside. Diagonally across his chest sat suspenders that seemed to hold the sheaths his swords fit into along his shell. He had bandages circling his three fingered hands and flat feet. He only wore knee-pads and elbow pads that had grime caked into the material. Finally, along his oval face, resting atop his ridged nostrils, he wore a blue bandanna that was swept up in the wind. 

For about a minute neither of them said anything and he simply analyzed her as she stood in wonder, measuring the type of horrified reaction she would have at his appearance. He opened his mouth to finally break the silence when Danielle awkwardly belted out, “Thank you.”

He faltered, taken aback. “Wh-what?" 

"Thank you.” She said again with a bit more conviction, trying to ignore the fight or flight response his appearance evoked in her. “For helping me back there.”

“Oh uh…its no problem.” He smiled, rubbing one large hand along the nape of his neck. The image was something Danielle had never seen so she had to fight the uneasiness of his reaction at first. On a deeper level however, Danielle noted that he crinkled his large eyes considerably and his wide grin showed off all of his flattened white teeth when he smiled. It seemed like a genuinely kind, good-natured smile and she decided at that moment that she really enjoyed it. Although his appearance was off putting, he didn’t seem intimidating and he apparently didn’t wish to harm her. Danielle attempted to ease the pressure from her shoulders and smiled back.

His ocean blue eyes seemed to sparkle in response but then he cleared his throat curtly and motioned to her hands. “You got some nasty cuts there. Do they hurt?”  

She looked down at her blood soaked hands then back up to him. She had honestly forgot about cutting her hands at all as she could only feel a dull throbbing in them now. Truthfully, her back hurt far more from where she connected it with the dumpster but even that pain was mild since her adrenaline was still spiked. She just returned his stare and replied, “A little but I think I’ll live.”

He slowly raised one of his course hands toward her. “May I?”  

She hesitated just a moment but then brought her left hands towards his. He held her wrist gently and took a cautiously slow step towards her. She tried to keep her breathing even as he unwound the wraps from his knuckles and used them to tightly bind the deep gashes in her hand. She watched  him work, his technique quick and precise. Once he finished one hand he gestured for her other. She complied and soon she stood with her throbbing hands bound tight. The blood soaked through the fabric in a few places but the pressure from the wraps should halt the bleeding. “There.” He said as he finished the last knot on her bindings. “That will keep the bleeding from getting worse but you will need to disinfect it and re bandage as soon as you get home.”  

“Okay.” Danielle said and dropped her hands back to her sides, trying to not stare too intently at the mutant who had saved her. She averted her eyes awkwardly and opted to focus on the skyline instead. The city looked a lot different from up high on the rooftops. She liked the change of scenery. And the warm night air. Danielle could feel her heartbeat steady and her blood pressure start to stabilize as she finally began to relax.  

Suddenly the turtle cut though her peace. “Do you live around here?" 

She snapped her attention back to his quizzing eyes and replied, "I’m a couple blocks that way.” She pointed to the left of him.

He chanced a peak over his shoulder in the direction she pointed, gauging the path, then looked back at her. “May I escort you home?” Unexpectedly, panic shot though Danielle once again and a heavy pit settled into her stomach. She debated if she should really chart a course for this creature to always locate her at. He didn’t seem dangerous but the fact remained that she barely knew him or what he was or what he was capable of. And how did he get to be so proficient with those weapons?

She bit her lip and attempted to draw the voices of doubt back down. Thus far the turtle had only acted to help her. His intents did not seem malicious or untrustworthy and Danielle sought to trust her gut instincts when it came to peoples character. Then, there was the the curiosity that this blue clad renegade had piqued within her. She found that she wanted to know more about this mysterious mutant turtle and thus, her doubt was beaten out this time. Danielle nodded, “Yes, thank you.”

He smiled brightly once more and pointed his thumb to the left, “You said that way, right?” Danielle nodded. “Okay. Do you mind climbing on my shell? Its a bit easier to navigate.”  

Shell. He said it so nonchalantly. She was so interested to feel his shell with the knowledge of its identity that she wasted no time in stepping up behind him. She brought one bound hand out and gently touched the back of his shell, feeling the smooth divots it naturally created. The texture reminded her of the top of a fingernail but much more dense. She briefly remembered in 5th grade touching one of her classmates pet turtles and it truly did feel the same as it did now. It was amazing. He stood patiently as she explored his shell until she eventually guided her hands up the ridges and rested her hands lightly along the ridge of his shell.

Then, an intrusive thought suddenly flashed into her mind. “Won’t holding on here hurt you?”

“No not at all. I have pretty tough skin.” He chuckled lightly, feeling her hands seek light purchase at the rim of his shell. He bent down slightly and reached back to clasp her legs under his rough arms then hoisted her up to rest along his shell, trying his best to avoid the katana sheaths.  She let out a small grunt that she promptly stifled. She always hated being carried. “You okay?” He asked.  

“Yes, Im good.”  

“How are your hands?”

She did notice the ridge was cutting into her gash a bit but she ignored the sting and said. “All good.”

“Okay, you’ll have to guide me.”

“Ur..Ill try my best. I’ve never traveled by rooftop before.”

“Its an underrated method of transport.” He laughed to himself then set in the direction she originally pointed. Leaping through the air without a second thought from one rooftop to the next. Danielle, now much more aware of the world blurring around her and the instant vertigo charged by how far below the ground really was, let out a loud gasp and wrapped her arms around the turtles neck tightly. Each time the turtles large soles found the ground again, she found the experience equal parts exhilarating and terrifying. He then gently hoisted her a little higher to try and loosen her lock on his neck. She got the message but left her arms along his front in case she suddenly needed to hook them again. 

Although Danielle managed to get lost for a few minutes, they did eventually locate her apartment complex. He lowered her down in the dimly lit alley adjoined to the parking lot of her complex.  She couldn’t help but beam a wide smile at him. “Thanks again so much for everything you’ve done. You’re really incredible.”

He turned his head slightly to hide a light blush creeping up his cheeks. He buried the flustered feeling in his gut and replied, “It’s no problem miss. It’s what I do.”  

She turned to look up at the apartments, mulling over the thoughts she had while they were on their parkour rooftop adventure. She wanted to see him again. She couldn’t explain why besides the curiosity, but she knew something else was drawing her to him and she wanted to explore what that might be. She bit her lip, working up the courage to form the words in her head out loud. She quickly spun back to meet his eyes. “Is there any way-”

Suddenly an agitating beeping from somewhere on his person erupted and he recoiled in surprise, pulling out some kind of rounded cell phone from a pouch on his waistband. He scanned the screen quickly then stored it back where it came from. His eyes seemed to develop a more serious tone and his stance shifted tensely. “Listen, I gotta get going. Remember what I said about the antiseptic and be safe, okay!” As he spoke, he had started to back away and reach out for the nearest fire escape ladder.

Danielle was stunned as she watched him hurriedly depart. “I..uhm..okay. I will!” She shouted up at him as he disappeared over the rooftop and out of sight. She stood there another minute or so, staring up, hoping for one more flash of the curious renegade but none came.  

She let out a light sigh then turned and solemnly trotted back to her apartment across the lot. Luckily her keys were tucked safely in her pocket instead of lost in the alleyway with the van. She yanked them out, jammed them into her door and rushed inside, kicking her shoes off and latching the lock shut behind her.  

She expected her roommate to be asleep but instead she was out on the patio, looking at the skyline with a cup of steaming coffee in her hand and a look of wonder on her face. “Billy, dude. You are never gonna freaking believe what happened to me tonight.” Danielle started, excitedly.

“Dani! Okay, no you are not gonna believe what I just saw. There was these big guys on the rooftops over there and they all started jumping around doing crazy, amazing stunts and they all had these weap-…what the hell happened to you?”

Danielle grabbed the first aid kit and a bottle of peroxide from the medicine cabinet then quickly plopped herself down onto the sofa and began recounting the events from her evening.  

The time on the kitchen stove read 3:04 am.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Lots of writing! | Writing Update #1

Hey People of Earth!

I have many a things to update. mwahaha

The first of which is this bad boy!

FISHBOWL was a one shot-ish thing I worked on in mid August because I didn't want to write the scene I had to write, but also didn't want to write outside of my universe. Soooo, of *course* your girl wrote herself some more fanfiction because? I mean? Why not!

It’s not unheard of on this blog that I ship (and then, subsequently cannoned) my boyz Lonan and Harrison. I’d written the first chunk of this story on mobile, just in a note, because I’d gotten an idea for some dialogue. (I had the whole story written besides the beginning and end.) The struggle was figuring out how to start the story. I toyed with a couple ideas, writing a million different first sentences. Frustrated that I wasn’t feeling any of ‘em, I shelved the project for the night and went to bed.

The next day, I came back to FISHBOWL, and I looked over the random first sentences I’d jotted down. One caught my eye, and so aha, I found my sentence. (I struggle with writing openings, so once the first sentence is nailed down, I usually am able to get a good flow rather quickly). I wrote the entire thing in one sitting, and while it’s disjointed and weird, I had a lot of fun.

EXCERPTS:

The story itself is basically plot-less since it was only meant to entertain myself, but I think I wrote some cool stuff, and explored a setting (Lonan’s room) with a lot more diligence than I have before.

This excerpt’s first line inspired me to write the rest of this story (lol my only motivation). It’s not even a favourite line, it just helped me wrap my head around the language a bit/gave me the idea to have a fishbowl-lens look on the story. 

The bottle is crystal edged. Half drained. A kaleidoscope through his eye.

He passes it over with ease. Harrison can’t tell if he’s done it because he’s drunk, or because he doesn’t want questions. 

“My mom likes this shit,” Harrison says, fingering the bottle, like he’s holding a memory and not jade-tinted glass. Careful, so he won’t shatter it. It’s almost like he’s a child again.

I also lluuuurve this next paragraph, just because loppy IS SUCH A NICE WORD. loppyloppyloppy. I just like the personality of the objects in Lonan’s bedroom (because he’s got none). Like his poor depressed lonely fishbowl, poor slothy aloe, poor upset betta.

Harrison watches the fishbowl on the nightstand. He should change the water. It’s aglae’d and forgotten, almost, like the loppy potted aloe on his desk. The blue betta hardly slashes through the water. Ris reaches over and unscrews the pot of pet store bloodworms, sprinkles in a pinch of the pellets. The fish cuts around its browning bamboo stake, and vacuums two into its mouth. Its fins wiggle like ink drops.

This is the last paragraph of FISHBOWL, and I mean, I like her tho?

The betta fish glugs through the water in a flowery whoosh. Bottom feeds the last of the bloodworms. The takeout containers are empty, and rolled onto their backs. Stained rusted orange with dried chili. The aloe plant is still curved instead of straight. Harrison makes a note to water it in the morning. The digital clock bleeds 6:22 in neon cherry light. When it bounces off Lonan’s eyes, they look purple. 

So that’s it for FISHBOWL! I had a lot of fun writing this lol. Maybe too much. I must be stopped.

CHICKEN NOODLE is chapter 14 of REWIRED, and to be frank, it was a bit of a pain to write. I’d churned it out after writing a really intense scene previously, and couldn’t really feel into the flow of the words as easily as I’d done before. The first scene took a chunk of time to write, because I wasn’t sure where I was taking it. After finally nailing a concept, I did complete it, and I’m rather happy with how that section of the chapter turned out. 

However, lol, scene two is a mess?? In my opinion at least, I did read this chapter to @sarahkelsiwrites​ last night, and she rather enjoyed it! Because it was SUCHHH a mess, and I had no motivation to write it, I, toward the beginning of the month, adapted the scene to screen. 

Stripping back the scene really allowed me to figure out how I wanted it to end (which was exciting!). Obviously, it isn’t a very good screenplay, but it was exciting to have a different take on the scene/focus on a new form to learn instead of self deprecating!

The following excerpt is from the beginning-ish of the chapter and sets up the concept:

Maybe this is how it feels. To be a child, or a fetus, or a cell, or a human, stuck in the womb of a mother. Sloshing in amniotic fluid. Doing little fetal summer saults. Eating what she eats. Drinking what she drinks. That last serving of apple crumble. The remnant touches of cognac stuck to her lips. A dog and a bone, a human and its lung, a plant and its gardener, a mother and her child. Can’t live without her, even when you want to. Bitter dependency. 

my favourite parts of this are ‘fetal summersaults’ and ‘human and its lung’ like ooooh. I’m like not 100 on it but I don’t mind it!

PEACH is chapter 15 of REWIRED, and oh boy is she a CHAPTER. I drafted this one as well as 16 over three days (they’re both super short), and I’m shook??

Chapter 14 ends with Reeve saying some *very* horrible things about another character (Emily), and her relationship with our boy Harrison. Because of this, she’s finally decided to check out Emily for herself, and see if she’s really as horrible as Reeve (who’s assumed her to be a Lolita figure), has anticipated. 

Here’s an excerpt:

Emily and I sit on her pull out. My mother would haphazardly call it tacky—blue gingham, red quilt—but I almost like it. With its coffee stains, and holes that vomit polyester. Second-hand charm. Maybe Harrison toted it off some suburb’s curb for her.

So this is the final chapter I’ll be updating you guys on (because it’s the most recent one that I’ve written lol). 

LOLITA, LOLITA, takes place in short succession after PEACH, and deals with a familiar theme--romanticizing/glorifying a female figure (sorta similarly to Lolita, which contributed to--of course--the title). This chapter is sort of the tail end of the ‘whimsical’ adventure Reeve has had entering Emily’s world, and has a lotttt of French inspiration.

Emily, as a character, does study the French language/culture a bit, and Reeve really clings to this particular detail. I think in a lot of ways, she does this because this is a detail she previously ridiculed (in the line: The kind of girl who learns French in her spare time and smokes essential oils, from chapter 10). 

Here’s the first one (I think it’s kind of clunky honestly but I like the idea so when I revisit, hopefully with some editing I can clean it up):

We split a brownie over a glass of Pinot Noir. She says it’s a French thing, and I imagine the bottle emptying on the veranda of a politician’s off coast villa. My lipstick stains the rim of the glass in a ruby porthole. It tastes like fruity hand sanitizer to me.

I also really like the next one, particularly the end. Like with before, I think it’s kinda clunky but I ain’t all that mad:

She’s pulled her hair into a bun. The gold ridge of a bobby pin peaks out from behind a twist. Hiding between the white of her scalp. My nails have dried, now, and she’s gifted me her peach lip gloss, which I wear gracefully on my lips like it isn’t second-hand, but a lavish salve made in Europe. Tested on the eyelids of a fetid rabbit. Warm and licked at on the mouth of a rich young woman. An off brand perfume clings to her throat. The plastic breath of amber and ylang-ylang. I’ve tried to mimic her up-do, but my hair falls, even when I pump it with hairspray. Je suis amoureuse. I should tell her. I am in love.

^^ the perfume in question in my head is like a bootleg version of Chanel No. 5, hence some of the perfume’s classic notes!

The second half of this update deals with Reeve *attempting* to talk to her brother (@Lonan @Lonan). They’ve now migrated to his room, which she notes, is vastly different to Emily’s.

The first excerpt is a line I find kind of funny because a) food b) relatable c) lol Lonan’s ideas for gifts tho d) SAME e) grapefruits ?? f) it’s kind of adorable

He’s brought me half a grapefruit and a spoon. A surrender, or a lost attempt at a gift. The flesh wet, and pink.

like tbhhh grapefruits as presents sounds litttt

The next is actually sort of stolen from FISHBOWL, ha. FISHBOWL takes place in Lonan’s room, so I *very much* stole all the description from there and shoved it into this chapter. oops lol.

His room feels smaller, somehow. I think he’s moved the bed. Or it might be the new coat of paint. The addition of small things, like houseplants, candles, miniature replicas of American landmarks. A wilted aloe plant. A fish bowl. The blue betta inking the water in bored compliance. I think to ask him if he’s made the space more claustrophobic on purpose, but don’t at the last second. Lonan’s never been one to collect clutter. 

And lastly! Not my favourite but eh:

I say, “I like what you’ve done with the place,” even though I don’t. “What kind of plant is that? This one?” I get up from my spot on the floor next to him. Touch at the pot next to the watering can. Finger the waxy leaves. Anthurium, peace lily, ficus? Probably a ficus. “I think Mom would like these. You should take a picture to show her later.”

I like the tone of this scene a lot because it’s so dissociative. Almost underwater. It’s kind of a very thin version of my usual style, but I think it works for what I was going for for sure (I hope lol). 

So that’s about it for this update! I know it was a lil different, but I hope you guys enjoyed regardless! As always, thanks for reading! :)

--Rachel

[hollyplays]

Moonlighter

My brother once, a few years ago, gifted me a copy of Recettear: An Item Shop’s Tale. I was a little reticent, because anime, but I found myself really enjoying it. The characters were cute, and I loved finding the perfect price to sell the items I had hunted down. I thought it was a really fresh, unique roguelike.

The problem was that Recettear is unplayable about 4 hours in- there’s a massive difficulty spike (I was maybe right to be reticent) that neither I nor my partner could get over.

So when I heard about Moonlighter, I was excited. The art was beautiful, and everything I’d heard was positive. It had a real shot of being what I wanted Recettear to be.

Thirty plus hours later, and I’m not sure how I feel. There is so much about Moonlighter I love, and I think it has a lot of potential. At the risk of sounding like a real estate agent, it has great bones. It needs some work, but the foundation is there. Metaphors abound. Anyway.

Moonlighter’s core gameplay is divided into two sections, and it does both of them well. The roguelike dungeoneering is exceptional. There’s a variety of combat options: sword and shield, bow, spear, bladed boxing gloves. Each one feels different than the last, but in my experience bow and spear ended being a cut above the others in terms of balance. Big sword had massive damage output, but was naturally much slower as a result and I found myself getting killed before I could put out that damage. Sword and shield let you block, but blocking pushed you back and often forced you to take other damage unnecessarily, and in a game with as fluid a dodge roll as Moonlighter you really didn’t need to be blocking.

Spear and Bow have marked advantages over the other weapons: they both keep you at a range from your enemies, which minimizes damage. Neither are slow enough that you’ll be spending too much time charging attacks, and the kicker: both can attack through walls, which almost no enemy can do. Meaning the spear and bow can deal damage in such a way that guarantees you no harm which, as far as i can tell, makes them the best option. I’m always a little bummed when a game has a ‘mechanically best’ option, especially a game with as many options as Moonlighter has.

Shopkeeping is also loads of fun, and managing what’s on your shelves along with your customer’s wait time and keeping an eye out for thieves makes for a really delightful rhythm. It speaks to the quality of Moonlighter’s design that both of it’s core gameplay elements would make for an excellent game just by themselves.

Shopkeeping, like dungeoneering, needs some tweaking. When you upgrade your shop to a specific point, you unlock an assistant who, in exchange for a percent of the day’s profit, will run the shop so you can spend more time dungeoneering. This is, in theory, a great reward for people who don’t enjoy the dungeoneering as much or find themselves short on cash. The problem is it doesn’t work. At all. The shop assistant took my items, didn’t sell a single thing, and the items vanished.

One of the less stressful parts of managing your shop is keeping an eye on a customer’s wait time. If a customer waits too long, they won’t buy the item and will walk out. The problem is, they’ll steal the fuckin item! Instead of just leaving the item on the counter, you lose not only the opportunity to sell the item, but you’re out whatever the item is worth too. This means I can be late talking to a customer because I’m stopping a thief, and then have my customer turn thief in the middle of the interaction, and there’s not a thing I can do about it. Even if I’m right at the counter, I get to watch them walk out with my shit.

If that wasn’t frustrating enough, something about the ‘customer setting the item on the counter’ interaction is clunky as hell. You see the ‘sell’ prompt, the customer sets it down, the prompt instantly vanishes, and takes about 2 seconds to show up again- leaving me sitting there spamming the sell button so that the line moves as fast as possible so that the weird mandatory wait time doesn’t make a thief out of my honest customers.

With both of it’s core mechanics developed, Moonlighter becomes a game of small design choices, and there are plenty. Most dialogue options are simply ‘yes’ or ‘no’, but each option has a really cute animation of a head nodding to accompany it. Not every customer is the same- some are ‘generous’ customers, which only buy items in display cases, but they’ll pay more than necessary. Some customers are ‘adventurers’ who only buy weapons. Some are ‘tourists’, who operate on a different pricing range and don’t update your pricing guide.

Perhaps my favorite part of the game is the secret rooms you can find in the dungeoneering segments marked by sparkles above pits. These vary, but my favorite is a pedestal with an expensive item on it- but if you take it without replacing it with something, you’ll trigger an exceptionally deadly enemy.

Moonlighter is full to the brim of good design. The dungeons are a delight to explore even as they get more difficult, and the enemies are consistent enough to be understandable but unique enough to still be interesting four dungeons in. There’s always something for the player to work towards, some new piece of gear to buy or boss to beat. Moonlighter has an absolutely fantastic rhythm to it.

It’s really frustrating, then, that a bug prevents me from beating the game. It crashes completely as I enter the climactic final dungeon, no matter what. There’s an update available for the PC version of the game that hasn’t come to the Playstation version, but this bug isn’t even on the list of problems that patch fixes.

I loved all of my time with Moonlighter, but between the shop assistant not working at all, the game occasionally not starting at all, and the final dungeon being entirely inaccessible, I’m angry. I don’t hate Early Access games or betas, but Moonlighter isn’t one. It’s a full release, and I paid full-release price, and I can’t beat it at all. I’m angry not because Moonlighter is bad, but because it’s extremely good, and a well-documented bug renders it unplayable.

Moonlighter is very good, and you should play it- but you should also wait until the game is out of the beta it appears to be in.

[catgirlforeskin]

OP is a fool and you shouldn’t listen to them, anon. Dark Souls 3 is just a poor man’s Bloodborne, it’s the most mediocre game in the series and excels at nothing, literally any other soulsborne would be a better starting point

Dark Souls 1’s slower roll works because the game is generally slower and more methodical in its combat, it’s a tense dungeoncrawler in the traditional sense. Bloodborne and Sekiro both are faster than DS3 and feel much more fluid, both in how you control and how enemies act. DS3 is the awkward middle child that more often than not just feels aggravating to play, because enemies are much faster to act than your character can be, and poise is nonexistent. It’s also less clunky than DS2, which requires a massive delay between your roll ending and your attack input to make the attack actually go toward the enemy you’re locked on to.

All the Soulsborne games have bullshit esoteric knowledge, part of the genre is learning it as you play, and DS2 is by far the worst offender, with what looks like a throwaway stat being the most important one in the game because it increases iframes with dodgerolls. If it’s something that’s insurmountable you can always ask friends or check the wiki, but it’s by no means unique to DS1 lmao (all the games require a guide to complete any of the quests lol)

DS1 is absolutely what you should with, both because it establishes the themes and tone for the rest of the series, and because it sets the standard of consistently great enemy and level design (at least for the first half of the game) that rarely gets matched again in the series.

The interconnected world of DS1 and discovering shortcuts to traverse it more easily is infinitely more satisfying than teleporting between the linear disjointed levels of DS3 (and it means not spending 4 minutes in loading screens any time you want to level up)

also mostly unrelated but fuck vaati and the obsession he’s helped create with “lore;”they’re missing the forest for the trees, dark souls is interesting because of the big picture themes, not memorizing who’s names are on every tombstone outside of Firelink Shrine

what would you say is the best dark souls game to start on? im a complete beginner and i really like learning about lore so i kind of want to start on 1 but idk. thoughts?

1 has some important lore stuff going on but holy FUCK has the gameplay aged like milk:

the roll feels like dogshit compared to 3 - it has WAY more recovery frames + awkward acceleration, and i hope you like your equip load effectively being quartered because midroll starts at 25% and is equivalent to ds3 fatroll. also almost every class starts above this threshold so you will be running around naked and looking like beef jerky for the entire early game. this is by FAR the biggest issue. people are going to respond to this saying the ds3 roll is OP and spammable, which is true. however, 1. both of those things are good and 2. it doesn't feel like you're throwing your character headfirst into a brick wall and patiently waiting for them to recover from the resultant concussion every time you press B

the lighting is reminiscent of Hollister circa 2013

not having fast travel enabled until HALFWAY THROUGH THE GAME is objectively bad game design (as evidenced by it being fixed in ds2 and 3)

severe lack of build diversity - every melee build is the same (i.e. STR-based because DEX sucks)

people will tell you magic/pyromancy is busted, which is technically true, but only if you know exactly where to go for the right spells in the early game. doing a blind pyromancy playthrough is pain incarnate

the amount of bullshit esoteric knowledge you need to have on hand to have even a little bit of fun is absurd, and not having this knowledge is punished severely. did you start with any gift besides the Master Key? wrong, you've fucked up and made the game 20x harder for no reason. did you pick up the zweihander 2 feet away from the starting area, read the 24 STR requirement, and start powerleveling strength so you can weild it? wrong, dumbass, you actually only need 16 STR to 2hand it, because 2handing multiplies your STR by 1.5, which is not described literally anywhere in-game and the UI will still tell you you're not strong enough and show the X over the sprite as you equip it. did you arrive in Lordran, see 10 estus flasks in your inventory, and assume that's the amount you have to work with? wrong, that only applies to the starting bonfire, every other bonfire starts off refilling you up to 5 and you need to kindle them to get more refilled, which requires beating a specific boss behind arguably one of the worst areas in the game. you fucking idiot. go fuck yourself.

speaking of bonfires,

anyone telling you to start the series on ds1 is not your friend and does not have your best interests at heart.

ds2 gets a lot of flak for being the black sheep of the series - it had a different creative director and very different overall vibe when compared to both 1 and 3. it was also extremely rushed and a lot of planned content never panned out (check out Zullie the Witch's youtube channel for more info). despite this, it actually plays like a game designed after the Cretaceous period, which is more than can be said for 1 and the graphics + lighting will not make you want to gouge your eyes out. a strong second place

really you should be starting on ds3, not just because it's the closest to Elden Ring, but because it has the best boss fights and combat mechanics by FAR. also there's actual build diversity. you can wear up to 4 rings, and unlike in ds1 where the devs made half the weapons in the game unusable as a funny joke, you can make pretty much anything work in PvE. also as previously mentioned the roll feels and acts fluid, which is good because you will spend approximately half of your time rolling.

tl;dr: start on 3, then 2, then 1. also watch VaatiVidya lore videos if you're confused about why you're fighting a specific boss from a narrative perspective

[simplemlmsponsoring]

New Post has been published on http://simplemlmsponsoring.com/attraction-marketing-formula/copywriting/the-17-deadly-sins-of-outsourcing-link-building-for-agencies/

The 17 Deadly Sins of Outsourcing Link Building for Agencies

For most marketing agencies, link building is a necessary hassle. It’s practically impossible to improve your clients’ SEO rankings, or earn them respectable referral traffic, without an ongoing link building campaign. But without the right staff, the right knowledge, or the right investments, link building can be both time-consuming and fruitless.

That’s where outsourcing comes in; it’s a convenient way to build links that relies on a link building specialist. But as I wrote in The Agency SEO Pro’s Guide to Link Building, if you aren’t careful, even your best link building efforts with an outside agency could wind up hurting you.

The Advantages of Outsourcing Link Building for Agencies

I want to start by clarifying the advantages of outsourcing your link building, because there are many to be had (assuming you’re avoiding the “deadly sins” I’ll be covering in the next section). These are some of the most powerful:

Convenience. When an external agency is handling your link building, you won’t need to hire someone internally to do the work. That can spare you hours of time and effort, which you can then use to improve your client relationships in more productive ways. Expertise. Link building agencies have spent years building their businesses to master the art of link building. It’s only natural that they’d be better at navigating this terrain than most general marketing agencies. As a result, their links tend to be higher-quality, with better results. Accountability. If something ever goes wrong with the campaign, you’ll have someone external to hold accountable. It will be on them to find the mistake, take corrective action, or suggest a new strategy to make up the difference—and they might even lend you special services for free to make it up to you. Affordability. Though you might be reluctant to spend hundreds to thousands of dollars a month on an external service, the reality is, most link building agencies will be far less expensive than trying to do the work yourself. Hiring someone in-house is almost always more expensive, and you might get inferior quality work as well. Outsourcing Link Building for Agencies Gone Wrong

If you want to see these benefits, you’re going to have to avoid these deadly—yet common mistakes:

1. Picking a cheap provider.

Most marketing agencies looking for a new link building provider want to save time and/or money. Accordingly, they act rationally by shopping around for the best price.

But in the link building world, the lowest price isn’t always the best price. In fact, it tends to skew in the opposite direction: you get what you pay for.

By paying less for an agency, you’ll probably get one or more of the following:

Cheaper labor. Writers and editors who get paid less for their work tend to have lower standards, or less experience overall. That means your off-site articles and link building portfolio are going to suffer. I covered this deadly sin in my article at VentureBeat titled Getting a good deal on SEO? Think again! Fewer checks and balances. Reputable agencies tend to cost more because they have more internal positions to account for; they might have a team of writers, a team of editors, a team of reviewers who examine the work before publishing, and a team dedicated to managing publisher relations. If you try to pin all this work on one or two separate teams, the end result will be more mistakes, lower quality work, and less consistent work. Fewer guarantees and assurances. Cheaper agencies aren’t as dependable because they may not have account managers who truly care about your brand. They may also rely on quantity of clients rather than quality, and therefore may be willing to lose your business over a disagreement. Lower-quality publishers. The more authority a publisher has, the more valuable it is. Unfortunately, that authority comes with a cost; it takes more time and effort to establish and build that reputation, and much more work to maintain it. Low-cost agencies can’t possibly afford to maintain these systems, and may instead favor low-authority publishers, which can damage your campaign.

Does this mean you should seek out the most expensive link building agency you can find? No. But you should consider far more than just the price of the agency you’re working with. Get quotes from multiple providers, and figure out exactly what you’re getting for each price point. Treat this as an investment, rather than an expense, and optimize your strategy accordingly.

2. Working with non-native speakers.

Before I get too far in explaining this point, I want to note that it’s entirely possible for non-native English speakers to be competent, or even gifted writers.

However, speaking generally, non-native English speakers tend to write inferior content, when compared to native speakers. They may mistranslate certain phrases, be unable to use slang or idioms in a natural way, or use clunky phrases that make the content seem less fluid. People won’t want to read this content, and top-quality publishers won’t be willing to accept it, which means it’s practically impossible to build a successful campaign on it.

Why would a link building agency work with non-native speakers? There are two main motivations here. First, it’s because they’re cheap. Agencies can get away with paying writers far less in developing countries, which means they can charge their clients lower prices (or, in some cases, pocket a bigger profit). Second, they’re created and managed by people in developing countries, who want a shot at making higher profit margins by working with companies in the United States.

Some link building agencies make it a point to acknowledge that they work with non-native speakers, but for the most part, you’ll have to do some investigating to be sure:

Check their website. Most of the time, agencies that use non-native speakers will also use them when writing their own content. Accordingly, you can check their website for any strange, low-quality content that indicates it was written by a non-native speaker. Examine their past work. Link building agencies often like to show off some of the work they’ve done in the past, so check it out. Ask for samples if you have to. The quality of the writing should indicate the linguistic histories of their writers. Ask them directly. You could also just ask your prospective vendor directly if they use any non-native English speakers. Some agencies may try to hide this fact, but if asked point-blank, they’ll probably give you a straightforward answer.

Make sure you’re working with an agency that employs native speakers exclusively for the services you’re targeting.

3. Shooting for quantity over quality.

Outsourcing links usually means studying packages that are primarily distinguished by the number of links they offer. For example, you might be forced to decide between 12 links per month, 50 links per month, or 500 links per month.

It’s reasonable to consider this as a factor, but it strays into “deadly sin” territory when you start using the number of links as the sole determining factor for your decision, or as the most important factor for comparing two companies’ offers. For example, if company A offers a link package with 12 links for $1,200 per month, and company B offers a link package with 50 links for $1,500 per month, you might lean toward company B. you might also go into the selection process with an idea for a minimum number of links you want to build.

But you have to remember that not all links are created equal. If you put too much attention on the number of links a company can provide you, you’ll neglect factors like how those links are built, and what kind of return you can expect from those links. After all, if a single link can net you 1,500 new monthly visitors, it’s inherently more valuable than 500 links that, together, can only net you 1,000 new monthly visitors. What’s more, if a company is promising you a seemingly-too-good-to-be-true amount of links, then those links are probably of very low, spammy quality, thus subjecting you (or your clients) to the horrors of a manual or algorithmic Google penalty which can be hell to recover from.

Assuming all quality factors are equal, more links do have the potential to give you higher returns. And realistically, quantity and quality should both enter your decision-making process. But if you favor quantity over quality when signing with a new agency, it’s bound to compromise your results.

4. Treating all sites as equal.

Along similar lines, you need to be thinking critically about the sites where your link building agency is going to acquire those inbound links. If a link building provider doesn’t publicly disclose which publication sites they use to build links, it could be a sign that they treat sites indiscriminately. Instead, look for a link building provider with multiple “tiers” of publishers, or at least a wide range of publishers that they let you choose from (***hint*** at AudienceBloom, we let our clients choose their publishers because we value 100% transparency!).

There are several qualities to keep in mind here:

Domain authority. Each site has its own domain authority (DA) value—a rough measure of how authoritative Google determines it to be. Though the methods of calculation here are complex, in general, you can rely on DA as an indicator of how much authority a link will pass to your client’s site. In other words, the higher the DA of the link, the more your client’s DA will rise, and the higher their site’s rankings will climb. Traffic. DA shouldn’t be the only consideration for the discerning agency, however. You should also consider how much traffic the publication gets—after all, links are just as valuable for generating referral traffic as they are for improving rankings. The higher the traffic for a source, the more traffic your client will stand to receive from a high-quality link. Reputation. Though not as objectively measurable, you should also consider each publisher’s overall reputation—especially if your client is getting a brand name mention. A publisher with high journalistic standards and universal acclaim will benefit your clients’ reputations more positively than a site that publishes any material that comes their way.

This doesn’t mean that you should only target sites with the highest possible value in each area; instead, you should have a diversity of different sources pointing to your clients’ sites. Instead, the mistake here comes into play when you fail to differentiate between sources. Spend some time talking to your prospective link building agencies to learn which types of publishers they use, and strategizing to use those diverse sources to your advantage.

5. Allowing link exchanges (or other schemes).

This mistake can be tricky to avoid, since link schemes come in many forms, and no link building agency would make the mistake of publicizing that they utilize schemes.

The disadvantage in using link schemes is clear; Google explicitly forbids the use of link schemes for the purposes of improving a site’s rankings. Link schemes include, but aren’t limited to:

Buying or selling links. Working with a link building agency that uses high-quality content and established relationships to build links on noteworthy sites is perfectly acceptable. In fact, leveraging relationships with the media to acquire coverage for clients is what PR agencies have been doing for over 100 years. Bribing publication sites to include links for the sole purposes of promotion, on the other hand, is not (according to Google, anyway). Excessively exchanging links with a limited number of sources. Link exchanges are one of the most common types of schemes. If an agency seems to use the same few sources to build links pointing to each other, it’s a bad sign. Any automated programs to build links. There aren’t many steps of the link building process that can be effectively automated without risking the integrity of the campaign. If an agency uses bots to publish links across the web, you should probably stay away from them. Low-quality directories and bookmark sites. Link directories and bookmarking sites exist to host links and direct traffic, so Google doesn’t take them seriously. In fact, your clients might get penalized for being featured there. Hidden links. Though not a common practice anymore, embedded links that have been hidden in widgets, comments, or websites are heavily frowned upon. Spammy forum comments. If employed cleverly, forum and blog comments can be used to build high-quality links. But for the most part, comment-based links have no place in a modern campaign.

Since you may not be able to discern whether or not a link building company uses link schemes as part of its services, the best way to evaluate a prospective vendor is to ask them about their practices. Ask them to walk them through their process, and judge it for yourself.

6. Offering no direction.

One of the biggest motivations for seeking the help of a link building agency is to save you time. So shouldn’t you be able to just hand off the reins and stop worrying about your clients’ campaigns?

I get this mentality, but if you pass off your clients’ campaigns without direction, it’s bound to cause chaos. For starters, your link building agency should know what other SEO strategies you’re currently using, and what your history with the client has been like. Only with this information will they be able to work with you to create the right campaign. Though most link building agencies offer different packages with standard features, most expect at least some degree of customization before starting work.

At a minimum, you should be willing to provide the following information:

A description of the brand. A brief understanding of your client’s brand is important for building links properly. The industry, character, and target demographics of the brand should dictate which publishers are used, how links are placed, and a variety of other considerations. The ultimate goals of the campaign. Is your client looking only for increased rankings? Or would they prefer improving referral traffic? What about reputation benefits? Link building agencies work better when they know what your clients’ goals are. Past and present SEO efforts. Link building is just one ingredient in a successful SEO campaign. Knowing what else has been going on—both past and present—is useful for tailoring the specifics of the campaign. Anchor text preferences. Anchor text probably isn’t going to make or break your campaign, and relying on it too heavily can make your links seem spammy. However, targeted anchor text can probably push a keyword or two over the edge. Publisher preferences. As I mentioned earlier, not all publishers are the same. Working with your link building agency can help you ensure the right publishers are used for your clients’ campaigns.

Setting these expectations early can ensure your client gets what they need, and maximize the efficiency of the campaign.

7. Failing to capture your clients’ needs.

Providing direction to your link building agency is good, but only if you have a good understanding of your clients’ goals—and use that understanding to inform your direction.

Too often, marketing agencies make the assumption that they know everything there is to know about their clients, or otherwise treat all their clients the same. In reality, each of your clients will have different needs, goals, and expectations for how their link building campaign is handled.

On one level, it’s important for you to explain to your clients how link building works, why it’s important, and what kind of results they can expect. Setting these expectations early will help you contextualize the results you get later on, and ensure your client relationship isn’t damaged by missed expectations.

On another level, it’s important to convey accurate information to your link building agency. For example, you might be perfectly comfortable allowing a brand mention of your client’s company in a given publisher, but your client may feel it’s a breach of their values (especially if the publisher is controversial in any way).

The most important thing to remember here is the need for transparency and understanding between you and your clients. Without that, no link building agency will be able to ensure you receive adequate services.

8. Making too many demands.

I’ve already mentioned how important it is to provide your link building agency with direction, but the other end of the spectrum can also be problematic. If you make too many demands of your link building agency during the process, things can go very wrong.

For starters, if you’ve chosen a link building agency with a strong reputation and lots of expertise, you should trust that they’ve had more experience than you have—and more authority on the matter. If you set too many standards for how the work should be completed, you may prevent the company from providing you with their own direction and expertise. Make yourself open enough to hear the agency’s recommendations; they’ve done this for many clients in the past, and may have insights or ideas that you haven’t considered.

Excessive demands may also make your working relationship more complicated. If your account representative has to constantly go back and forth with new requests and demands, the total amount of time spent on your campaign will increase. In extreme cases, this may put a strain on your partnership, or even result in the agency charging you more for the extra work.

You should also know that there are some limitations to what can be done from a practical perspective. Demanding that a link be published within 24 hours is not realistic, for example, because of the many stages of the process (including writing, editing, submitting for publication, editorial review, revisions, and final publication). And if you’re publishing with a site not aligned with your client’s industry, you might have to compromise on the way the link is mentioned. Expecting perfection will set you up for disappointment, and may not allow your agency to produce their best work.

9. Escalating too quickly.

Marketing agencies usually seek link building help under one of two circumstances. Either they’ve taken on a new client and want to delegate a portion of the work to an outside firm, or they’re looking for a way to boost a client’s results.

In either scenario, it’s tempting to escalate as quickly as possible. These agencies want their clients to see results, or at least work, as soon as possible, and in their mind, that means publishing as many links as possible in the span of a few weeks to a few months. The problem is, this excessive link building activity can be counterproductive; if Google notices too many links being built too quickly, it may consider them to be unnatural, earning your client a penalty rather than increasing their rankings.

Most link building agencies know this, and set early expectations with their clients that links should be built gradually over time. However, if you pressure them to churn out more work, they may give into your requests, and publish an excessive number of links at a faster pace than they’re used to. And if you’re using multiple link building services, or are building links on your own, your agency may be unwittingly contributing to a link building strategy that’s growing way too quickly.

Patience is a virtue here. Instead of opting for the biggest or boldest campaign a link builder has to offer, consider starting with a smaller campaign, gradually scaling up as you start seeing more results. While you’re at it, keep your link building agency in the loop about any other link building strategies you’re utilizing; that way, you can work together to ensure that your link building campaign scales at an appropriate pace.

10. Treating all your clients the same.

Too many marketing agencies treat link building as part of some massive, uniform assembly line. They get a new client, onboard them, and sign up for the same link building package they’ve used for past clients, with no new instructions, goals, or modifications, expecting to see the same results.

In many cases, you will see similar results; the same number of links, from the same range of sources, across the same time period will almost certainly increase your new client’s DA at the same pace, and earn a similar amount of referral traffic. However, you could be missing out on some serious advantages by making simple modifications to the core link building program.

Even if they come from the same industry or have a similar background, clients can differ in many ways:

Goals. One client may only care about referral traffic, while another would prefer to see an increase in search rankings. One client may want a general rise in DA (and overall rankings), while another might only care about increasing in rankings for a specific search term. You can’t use the same tactics for two different clients and expect to see two different sets of results. Brand character. Different brands tolerate references in different ways; some prefer specific types of publishers, some want to be mentioned specifically, and others would prefer to be mentioned only passively. Current authority. Clients that start with a higher authority will need higher-DA publishers, more intensive action, and (usually) more new links to see results. You can’t use the same package for a well-established industry authority and a newcomer who’s just starting out. Expectations. Client expectations should also play a role in how you shop for link building packages. Though the experts (either you or your link building provider) should be shaping those expectations, a client who expects faster results will need different care than one who’s ready for a slow-burn campaign.

These (and other) differences will, cumulatively, respond to your strategies in different ways. For example, some clients may tolerate a more aggressive link building..

Read more: audiencebloom.com

[spicynbachili1]

Review: Creed II

Creed : Creed II :: Rocky : Rocky II

Rocky is not only one of the greatest sports movies ever, it is one of the greatest films ever. It was a dramatic, gritty, and surprisingly grounded film that redefined the genre, established now common tropes, and basically created the modern sports film. There’s a reason it won best picture over Taxi Driver. 

Rocky II took the tropes of the first film, pulled out the guts, and refined them into what we now know as a boxing film, turning the franchise into an enjoyable spectacle instead of a character-centered meditation on fame, toughness, and family. Rocky II does sports movie really well. There’s no one who gets to the end of Rocky II and isn’t holding their breathe as Apollo Creed and Rocky both try to get up off the mat. There is nothing wrong with Rocky II other than the fact that it isn’t Rocky.

There is nothing wrong with Creed II other than the fact that it isn’t Creed. 

Creed II Director: Stephen Caple Jr. Rated: PG-13 Release Date: November 21, 2018

Creed II picks up sometime after the original film with Adonis Creed (Michael B. Jordan) on top of the world after winning the heavyweight championship with Rocky (Sylvester Stallone) in his corner. However, this stardom has brought a new challenger in the form of Ivan Drago’s (Dolph Lundgren) son, Viktor (Florian Munteanu), who has been raised with one goal in mind: revenge on the man who ruined his father’s life way back in Rocky IV. Meanwhile, Adonis’ now-fiance, Bianca, (Tessa Thompson) is pregnant and his mother (Phylicia Rashad) is worried about him taking the fight. 

If you’re thinking that this sounds a lot more like the latter Rocky films, you’re absolutely right, because it is. Unlike Creed, which was a drama coated in a boxing movie this is a boxing movie through and through. The reason Creed succeeded as a reboot of the Rocky franchise is because it was less a Rocky film, and more a film on its own.

Director Ryan Coogler brought a raw grittiness to the movie that pulled out Stallone’s best performance since the original film and turned Michael B. Jordan into a true superstar. The first film used boxing as a way to discuss grief, loss, race, and a myriad of other subtextual subjects, while still giving you the final release that all good sports movies deliver. It was about guys getting punched in the face, but what made it special was that between those punches there was more. 

Creed II is pretty much about guys getting punched in the face. There’s the trappings of something between the punches, but it’s not point. There’s actually some strong bones between those punches, but they’re never really executed on. The film clearly wants to look at legacy and fatherhood, and has a great chance to by contrasting the Dragos’ relationship with the Rocky/Apollo/Adonis one, but it drops the ball hard on the Viktor Drago plotline. There’s an attempt to make both Ivan and Viktor something more than evil Russian punching bags, but it’s so half-hearted that the true themes get lost in your desire to see Viktor fall to the mat. The first film would have subtly pulled these threads, turning everyone into well-rounded characters, this film just gets you pumped for the last boxing sequence, it’s dramatic themes strewn around in the cheering crowd.

The movie also dodges around the social issues that Creed so wonderfully handled. In fact it dodges around almost any issue at all. Considering the fact that Rocky IV was basically Cold War propaganda at its finest, it’s stunning to see that Creed II doesn’t even pretend to discuss the current relations between Russia and the U.S. The film completely ignores any and all modern day politics or social issues in favor of telling a boxing story in a social vacuum. The closest it gets to saying anything about anything is Adonis Creed wearing black American flag shorts in the final fight, which may or may not be a nod to current issues in America, but I’d lean towards them just thinking it looked cool.

And now that I’ve complained about Creed II‘s lack of ability to live up to its forefather and it’s complete and total lack of social awareness, I have to say this isn’t technically a bad thing. Sometimes a sports movie is just a sports movie, and Creed II is a damn enjoyable movie, as most of the Rocky films are for various reasons. It’s cram full of sports training montages, moments that make you sit on the edge of your seat, and performances that deliver the emotional and physical punch when you need them to. Not that it’s a hard feat to get the audience excited when you’ve got the Rocky theme blaring and two boxers going toe-to-toe, but Creed II does it admirably. 

It does this mostly through cliche and tried and true practices. Director Steven Caple Jr. is far more interested in making the film look stunning than he is in taking risks as his predecessor did. This makes for a visually sumptuous film, full of training montages that are often breathtaking to behold, but lack the groundedness of the original. The final montage, an inverse homage to Rocky IV’s mountain climbing epicness, is especially striking in its visual direction, while being nearly as ridiculous as the scene that influenced it. Caple isn’t quite as adept as others as keeping the in-ring action fluid, but he does a quality job. He’s turned Creed into a blockbuster, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Stallone, Jordan, and the rest of the cast seem to know this as well. Their performances aren’t bad, but the heart and soul they pulled out of themselves for the last film seems to have drifted away. Stallone delivers his emotional monologues this time around as, well, emotional monologues. Jordan’s Adonis seems more like a character than the real person he was in the first film, and Lundgren isn’t given enough to work with to know if he’s there or not.

Muntenau is probably the most surprising performance as the boxer delivers sadly limited turn that still shows surprising emotional range for having almost no lines. Still, everything is taken up to that “sports movie” level where every moment is larger than life. It doesn’t help that the screenplay is set up more like a traditional sports film, with dialog that can be clunky and scenes simply building to the next boxing match.

But I’ve started complaining again when I really shouldn’t be. Creed II is an entirely enjoyable, well-crafted, well-directed, well-acted sports film. If Creed did not exist you’d come out of it having enjoyed a new Rocky film, and thinking that it was on par with what the franchise had become since the original film released. Maybe then the film is actually wildly successful in confronting its themes of the expectations put upon us by our predecessors. Here we have Creed II being criticized because it isn’t its “father.”

On any level, you could call Creed II a success, but it was never going to live up to its heritage. Maybe Creed II‘s true message is that it shouldn’t really have to.

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      Creed II reviewed by Matthew Razak

7

GOOD

Solid and definitely has an audience. There could be some hard-to-ignore faults, but the experience is fun. How we score:  The destructoid reviews guide

        from SpicyNBAChili.com http://spicymoviechili.spicynbachili.com/review-creed-ii/

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Mario & Sonic at the Olympics: Tokyo 2020 Offers a Few New Twists

It’s about that time again where athletes from around the world are preparing to compete for glory at the 2020 Olympics in Tokyo. Meanwhile, the games are already underway for Sonic, Mario and their friends in the latest installment of their long-running series based on the historical sporting event. This Olympic clash of gaming mascots is being taken right to their country of origin in Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020 for the Nintendo Switch. And if the name “Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games” is any indication, you know exactly what kind of game you’re getting into.

As with previous titles, up to 4 players can choose from a vast array of characters from both the Mario and Sonic franchises to compete in a collection of more than 30 minigames inspired by actual sporting events in the upcoming Olympic games. These include anything from 100m dashes, badminton, and Olympic diving. You can even participate in some of the newest Olympic events such as skateboarding, karate, surfing, and climbing. The game also includes a story mode in which Mario and Sonic are sucked into a retro gaming system and must compete in the 1964 Tokyo Olympics to escape while their friends on the outside compete in the 2020 Tokyo Olympics. 

New to the series are the pixelated sporting events that have you play as the earliest game iterations of Mario, Sonic and others. These minigames are vastly different from the traditional 3D challenges, as they have you playing charming arcade versions of certain events. The Dream Minigames also make a comeback, in which you and your fellow players take each other on in wacky competitions that are less attuned to the grounded nature of Olympic events. 

If you’ve been keeping up with Mario and Sonic throughout their Olympic escapades, then you’ll probably know what to expect from their latest outing. You have your eclectic collection of simple yet challenging minigames all wrapped up in a homey crossover package. Surprisingly fluid motion controls and accommodation for all controller types make the game pretty accessible to anyone, but nothing ever truly pushes the envelope in terms of execution.  

While having a distinct Japanese flavor becoming of SEGA’s home country, Tokyo 2020 offers up a lot more of the same. It’s easy to pick up and share with your friends, and there are plenty of games to choose from. It’s no Mario Party level of intense, friendship-ending competition, but it’s entertaining enough to break out on game night and a serviceable time-killer when flying solo.

One thing I wasn’t exactly used to was having to select individual games. Tokyo 2020 features a Quick Play option that lets you dive into many of the minigames this title has to offer. Yet I found myself stumbling at the end of each one having to go out and select a new character, then select a game, then back out to select a new game and a new character all over again. Maybe I’m just too used to the party game formula that more or less offers me a grab bag of challenges with each run, but a little more structure and a little less menu hopping would’ve really helped toward a more seamless experience.

This latest installment isn’t without some noticeable spots of higher-than-average enjoyment, thankfully. While some minigames are pretty straightforward, there is a surprising sense of variety when it comes to some of the newer additions featured in Tokyo 2020. Skateboarding and Karate were some of my favorite events to play, as they both require a little more skill and creativity in their execution. The retro games feature a very appealing aesthetic whose gameplay and style are sure to please fans of the old classics. The Dream Minigames, as with previous installments, also provide brief snippets of gameplay that could honestly stand to be part of their own title. And a markedly better one at that.

Take “Dream Racing,” for instance, a returning staple. As the name suggests, you race on a crazy futuristic track using a hoverboard. You can perform tricks to boost your speed and even pick up items to trip up your opponents, like the dreaded Red Shell that Mario Kart fans will surely recognize. The newest addition is Dream Karate (my personal favorite, pictured above), which has you kicking and punching opponents with flashy special moves in order to gain territory on a game board. Then you have another comeback in Dream Shooting, where you run around an obstacle course shooting targets to rack up points. 

As per the Mario & Sonic standard, the Dream Minigames are just fun little pit stops that provide a lovingly-wacky spin to shake up what is typically a by-the-numbers love letter to the upcoming Olympics. This deviation from the otherwise semi-realistic minigames are always, if nothing else, refreshing twists to an otherwise formulaic series.

  And believe it or not, I was able to squeeze some enjoyment out of the story mode as well. While the narrative itself is pretty tedious and unremarkable (the excuses everyone makes to play Olympic events instead of rescuing Sonic and Mario get lamer and lamer), you’re able to visit fantastical versions of famous Japanese landmarks and tourist attractions. As you progress, you can unlock new games and characters to add to your roster.

But my favorite part was actually finding out neat little historical tidbits. Scattered throughout certain levels are NPCs and shiny pick-ups that provide brief facts about either a Japanese historical landmark or fun facts about Olympics history in and around Japan. I honestly had a lot of fun scouring different areas just to learn a new fact about the Olympics. 

There have been several installments of the Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games series that we've seen before, and while it was a neat idea way back in 2007, it’s since become a standard copy/paste affair that consistently hits a middle ground of “just fun enough.” In that sense, Tokyo 2020 isn’t terribly different from its predecessors. The traditional Olympics challenges are still charming enough while never being too innovative or labor-intensive. The Dream Minigames and retro arcade bits are nice little pops of color, and Story Mode was a lot more educational than I thought it was going to be. 

It basically boils down to whether or not you enjoy Mario and Sonic’s Olympic outings to begin with. If you enjoyed the previous ones, you’ll enjoy this one. If you’ve never touched one, it’s as good a place to start as any. Anyone looking for a more legitimate and exciting party game experience may want to look elsewhere, but you could certainly do worse. 

Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games: Tokyo 2020 is a lot like watching the actual Olympics every four years. It’s there for you to check out for a little while. You’re not missing out on much if you don’t watch them, but there’s some fun to be had if you do.

REVIEW ROUND-UP:

+ Dream Minigames are, as always, super fun

+ Retro games and aesthetic are charming, welcome additions

+/- Not terribly different from any other Mario and Sonic title

- Story mode is tedious

- Jumping from game to game can be clunky

  What are some of your favorite new minigames? Looking forward to the real Olympics in Tokyo this summer? Comment below and let us know!

----

Carlos is a freelance features writer for Crunchyroll. Their favorite genres range from magical girls to over-the-top robot action, yet their favorite characters are always the obscure ones. Check out some of their satirical work on The Hard Times.

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

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The 17 Deadly Sins of Outsourcing Link Building for Agencies

The 17 Deadly Sins of Outsourcing Link Building for Agencies

Published 09/27/2018 by Jayson DeMers | 0 Comments

For most marketing agencies, link building is a necessary hassle. It’s practically impossible to improve your clients’ SEO rankings, or earn them respectable referral traffic, without an ongoing link building campaign. But without the right staff, the right knowledge, or the right investments, link building can be both time-consuming and fruitless.

That’s where outsourcing comes in; it’s a convenient way to build links that relies on a link building specialist. But as I wrote in The Agency SEO Pro’s Guide to Link Building, if you aren’t careful, even your best link building efforts with an outside agency could wind up hurting you.

The Advantages of Outsourcing Link Building for Agencies

I want to start by clarifying the advantages of outsourcing your link building, because there are many to be had (assuming you’re avoiding the “deadly sins” I’ll be covering in the next section). These are some of the most powerful:

Convenience. When an external agency is handling your link building, you won’t need to hire someone internally to do the work. That can spare you hours of time and effort, which you can then use to improve your client relationships in more productive ways.

Expertise. Link building agencies have spent years building their businesses to master the art of link building. It’s only natural that they’d be better at navigating this terrain than most general marketing agencies. As a result, their links tend to be higher-quality, with better results.

Accountability. If something ever goes wrong with the campaign, you’ll have someone external to hold accountable. It will be on them to find the mistake, take corrective action, or suggest a new strategy to make up the difference—and they might even lend you special services for free to make it up to you.

Affordability. Though you might be reluctant to spend hundreds to thousands of dollars a month on an external service, the reality is, most link building agencies will be far less expensive than trying to do the work yourself. Hiring someone in-house is almost always more expensive, and you might get inferior quality work as well.

Outsourcing Link Building for Agencies Gone Wrong

If you want to see these benefits, you’re going to have to avoid these deadly—yet common mistakes:

1. Picking a cheap provider.

Most marketing agencies looking for a new link building provider want to save time and/or money. Accordingly, they act rationally by shopping around for the best price.

But in the link building world, the lowest price isn’t always the best price. In fact, it tends to skew in the opposite direction: you get what you pay for.

By paying less for an agency, you’ll probably get one or more of the following:

Cheaper labor. Writers and editors who get paid less for their work tend to have lower standards, or less experience overall. That means your off-site articles and link building portfolio are going to suffer. I covered this deadly sin in my article at VentureBeat titled Getting a good deal on SEO? Think again!

Fewer checks and balances. Reputable agencies tend to cost more because they have more internal positions to account for; they might have a team of writers, a team of editors, a team of reviewers who examine the work before publishing, and a team dedicated to managing publisher relations. If you try to pin all this work on one or two separate teams, the end result will be more mistakes, lower quality work, and less consistent work.

Fewer guarantees and assurances. Cheaper agencies aren’t as dependable because they may not have account managers who truly care about your brand. They may also rely on quantity of clients rather than quality, and therefore may be willing to lose your business over a disagreement.

Lower-quality publishers. The more authority a publisher has, the more valuable it is. Unfortunately, that authority comes with a cost; it takes more time and effort to establish and build that reputation, and much more work to maintain it. Low-cost agencies can’t possibly afford to maintain these systems, and may instead favor low-authority publishers, which can damage your campaign.

Does this mean you should seek out the most expensive link building agency you can find? No. But you should consider far more than just the price of the agency you’re working with. Get quotes from multiple providers, and figure out exactly what you’re getting for each price point. Treat this as an investment, rather than an expense, and optimize your strategy accordingly.

2. Working with non-native speakers.

Before I get too far in explaining this point, I want to note that it’s entirely possible for non-native English speakers to be competent, or even gifted writers.

However, speaking generally, non-native English speakers tend to write inferior content, when compared to native speakers. They may mistranslate certain phrases, be unable to use slang or idioms in a natural way, or use clunky phrases that make the content seem less fluid. People won’t want to read this content, and top-quality publishers won’t be willing to accept it, which means it’s practically impossible to build a successful campaign on it.

Why would a link building agency work with non-native speakers? There are two main motivations here. First, it’s because they’re cheap. Agencies can get away with paying writers far less in developing countries, which means they can charge their clients lower prices (or, in some cases, pocket a bigger profit). Second, they’re created and managed by people in developing countries, who want a shot at making higher profit margins by working with companies in the United States.

Some link building agencies make it a point to acknowledge that they work with non-native speakers, but for the most part, you’ll have to do some investigating to be sure:

Check their website. Most of the time, agencies that use non-native speakers will also use them when writing their own content. Accordingly, you can check their website for any strange, low-quality content that indicates it was written by a non-native speaker.

Examine their past work. Link building agencies often like to show off some of the work they’ve done in the past, so check it out. Ask for samples if you have to. The quality of the writing should indicate the linguistic histories of their writers.

Ask them directly. You could also just ask your prospective vendor directly if they use any non-native English speakers. Some agencies may try to hide this fact, but if asked point-blank, they’ll probably give you a straightforward answer.

Make sure you’re working with an agency that employs native speakers exclusively for the services you’re targeting.

3. Shooting for quantity over quality.

Outsourcing links usually means studying packages that are primarily distinguished by the number of links they offer. For example, you might be forced to decide between 12 links per month, 50 links per month, or 500 links per month.

It’s reasonable to consider this as a factor, but it strays into “deadly sin” territory when you start using the number of links as the sole determining factor for your decision, or as the most important factor for comparing two companies’ offers. For example, if company A offers a link package with 12 links for $1,200 per month, and company B offers a link package with 50 links for $1,500 per month, you might lean toward company B. you might also go into the selection process with an idea for a minimum number of links you want to build.

But you have to remember that not all links are created equal. If you put too much attention on the number of links a company can provide you, you’ll neglect factors like how those links are built, and what kind of return you can expect from those links. After all, if a single link can net you 1,500 new monthly visitors, it’s inherently more valuable than 500 links that, together, can only net you 1,000 new monthly visitors. What’s more, if a company is promising you a seemingly-too-good-to-be-true amount of links, then those links are probably of very low, spammy quality, thus subjecting you (or your clients) to the horrors of a manual or algorithmic Google penalty which can be hell to recover from.

Assuming all quality factors are equal, more links do have the potential to give you higher returns. And realistically, quantity and quality should both enter your decision-making process. But if you favor quantity over quality when signing with a new agency, it’s bound to compromise your results.

4. Treating all sites as equal.

Along similar lines, you need to be thinking critically about the sites where your link building agency is going to acquire those inbound links. If a link building provider doesn’t publicly disclose which publication sites they use to build links, it could be a sign that they treat sites indiscriminately. Instead, look for a link building provider with multiple “tiers” of publishers, or at least a wide range of publishers that they let you choose from (***hint*** at AudienceBloom, we let our clients choose their publishers because we value 100% transparency!).

There are several qualities to keep in mind here:

Domain authority. Each site has its own domain authority (DA) value—a rough measure of how authoritative Google determines it to be. Though the methods of calculation here are complex, in general, you can rely on DA as an indicator of how much authority a link will pass to your client’s site. In other words, the higher the DA of the link, the more your client’s DA will rise, and the higher their site’s rankings will climb.

Traffic. DA shouldn’t be the only consideration for the discerning agency, however. You should also consider how much traffic the publication gets—after all, links are just as valuable for generating referral traffic as they are for improving rankings. The higher the traffic for a source, the more traffic your client will stand to receive from a high-quality link.

Reputation. Though not as objectively measurable, you should also consider each publisher’s overall reputation—especially if your client is getting a brand name mention. A publisher with high journalistic standards and universal acclaim will benefit your clients’ reputations more positively than a site that publishes any material that comes their way.

This doesn’t mean that you should only target sites with the highest possible value in each area; instead, you should have a diversity of different sources pointing to your clients’ sites. Instead, the mistake here comes into play when you fail to differentiate between sources. Spend some time talking to your prospective link building agencies to learn which types of publishers they use, and strategizing to use those diverse sources to your advantage.

5. Allowing link exchanges (or other schemes).

This mistake can be tricky to avoid, since link schemes come in many forms, and no link building agency would make the mistake of publicizing that they utilize schemes.

The disadvantage in using link schemes is clear; Google explicitly forbids the use of link schemes for the purposes of improving a site’s rankings. Link schemes include, but aren’t limited to:

Buying or selling links. Working with a link building agency that uses high-quality content and established relationships to build links on noteworthy sites is perfectly acceptable. In fact, leveraging relationships with the media to acquire coverage for clients is what PR agencies have been doing for over 100 years. Bribing publication sites to include links for the sole purposes of promotion, on the other hand, is not (according to Google, anyway).

Excessively exchanging links with a limited number of sources. Link exchanges are one of the most common types of schemes. If an agency seems to use the same few sources to build links pointing to each other, it’s a bad sign.

Any automated programs to build links. There aren’t many steps of the link building process that can be effectively automated without risking the integrity of the campaign. If an agency uses bots to publish links across the web, you should probably stay away from them.

Low-quality directories and bookmark sites. Link directories and bookmarking sites exist to host links and direct traffic, so Google doesn’t take them seriously. In fact, your clients might get penalized for being featured there.

Hidden links. Though not a common practice anymore, embedded links that have been hidden in widgets, comments, or websites are heavily frowned upon.

Spammy forum comments. If employed cleverly, forum and blog comments can be used to build high-quality links. But for the most part, comment-based links have no place in a modern campaign.

Since you may not be able to discern whether or not a link building company uses link schemes as part of its services, the best way to evaluate a prospective vendor is to ask them about their practices. Ask them to walk them through their process, and judge it for yourself.

6. Offering no direction.

One of the biggest motivations for seeking the help of a link building agency is to save you time. So shouldn’t you be able to just hand off the reins and stop worrying about your clients’ campaigns?

I get this mentality, but if you pass off your clients’ campaigns without direction, it’s bound to cause chaos. For starters, your link building agency should know what other SEO strategies you’re currently using, and what your history with the client has been like. Only with this information will they be able to work with you to create the right campaign. Though most link building agencies offer different packages with standard features, most expect at least some degree of customization before starting work.

At a minimum, you should be willing to provide the following information:

A description of the brand. A brief understanding of your client’s brand is important for building links properly. The industry, character, and target demographics of the brand should dictate which publishers are used, how links are placed, and a variety of other considerations.

The ultimate goals of the campaign. Is your client looking only for increased rankings? Or would they prefer improving referral traffic? What about reputation benefits? Link building agencies work better when they know what your clients’ goals are.

Past and present SEO efforts. Link building is just one ingredient in a successful SEO campaign. Knowing what else has been going on—both past and present—is useful for tailoring the specifics of the campaign.

Anchor text preferences. Anchor text probably isn’t going to make or break your campaign, and relying on it too heavily can make your links seem spammy. However, targeted anchor text can probably push a keyword or two over the edge.

Publisher preferences. As I mentioned earlier, not all publishers are the same. Working with your link building agency can help you ensure the right publishers are used for your clients’ campaigns.

Setting these expectations early can ensure your client gets what they need, and maximize the efficiency of the campaign.

7. Failing to capture your clients’ needs.

Providing direction to your link building agency is good, but only if you have a good understanding of your clients’ goals—and use that understanding to inform your direction.

Too often, marketing agencies make the assumption that they know everything there is to know about their clients, or otherwise treat all their clients the same. In reality, each of your clients will have different needs, goals, and expectations for how their link building campaign is handled.

On one level, it’s important for you to explain to your clients how link building works, why it’s important, and what kind of results they can expect. Setting these expectations early will help you contextualize the results you get later on, and ensure your client relationship isn’t damaged by missed expectations.

On another level, it’s important to convey accurate information to your link building agency. For example, you might be perfectly comfortable allowing a brand mention of your client’s company in a given publisher, but your client may feel it’s a breach of their values (especially if the publisher is controversial in any way).

The most important thing to remember here is the need for transparency and understanding between you and your clients. Without that, no link building agency will be able to ensure you receive adequate services.

8. Making too many demands.

I’ve already mentioned how important it is to provide your link building agency with direction, but the other end of the spectrum can also be problematic. If you make too many demands of your link building agency during the process, things can go very wrong.

For starters, if you’ve chosen a link building agency with a strong reputation and lots of expertise, you should trust that they’ve had more experience than you have—and more authority on the matter. If you set too many standards for how the work should be completed, you may prevent the company from providing you with their own direction and expertise. Make yourself open enough to hear the agency’s recommendations; they’ve done this for many clients in the past, and may have insights or ideas that you haven’t considered.

Excessive demands may also make your working relationship more complicated. If your account representative has to constantly go back and forth with new requests and demands, the total amount of time spent on your campaign will increase. In extreme cases, this may put a strain on your partnership, or even result in the agency charging you more for the extra work.

You should also know that there are some limitations to what can be done from a practical perspective. Demanding that a link be published within 24 hours is not realistic, for example, because of the many stages of the process (including writing, editing, submitting for publication, editorial review, revisions, and final publication). And if you’re publishing with a site not aligned with your client’s industry, you might have to compromise on the way the link is mentioned. Expecting perfection will set you up for disappointment, and may not allow your agency to produce their best work.

9. Escalating too quickly.

Marketing agencies usually seek link building help under one of two circumstances. Either they’ve taken on a new client and want to delegate a portion of the work to an outside firm, or they’re looking for a way to boost a client’s results.

In either scenario, it’s tempting to escalate as quickly as possible. These agencies want their clients to see results, or at least work, as soon as possible, and in their mind, that means publishing as many links as possible in the span of a few weeks to a few months. The problem is, this excessive link building activity can be counterproductive; if Google notices too many links being built too quickly, it may consider them to be unnatural, earning your client a penalty rather than increasing their rankings.

Most link building agencies know this, and set early expectations with their clients that links should be built gradually over time. However, if you pressure them to churn out more work, they may give into your requests, and publish an excessive number of links at a faster pace than they’re used to. And if you’re using multiple link building services, or are building links on your own, your agency may be unwittingly contributing to a link building strategy that’s growing way too quickly.

Patience is a virtue here. Instead of opting for the biggest or boldest campaign a link builder has to offer, consider starting with a smaller campaign, gradually scaling up as you start seeing more results. While you’re at it, keep your link building agency in the loop about any other link building strategies you’re utilizing; that way, you can work together to ensure that your link building campaign scales at an appropriate pace.

10. Treating all your clients the same.

Too many marketing agencies treat link building as part of some massive, uniform assembly line. They get a new client, onboard them, and sign up for the same link building package they’ve used for past clients, with no new instructions, goals, or modifications, expecting to see the same results.

In many cases, you will see similar results; the same number of links, from the same range of sources, across the same time period will almost certainly increase your new client’s DA at the same pace, and earn a similar amount of referral traffic. However, you could be missing out on some serious advantages by making simple modifications to the core link building program.

Even if they come from the same industry or have a similar background, clients can differ in many ways:

Goals. One client may only care about referral traffic, while another would prefer to see an increase in search rankings. One client may want a general rise in DA (and overall rankings), while another might only care about increasing in rankings for a specific search term. You can’t use the same tactics for two different clients and expect to see two different sets of results.

Brand character. Different brands tolerate references in different ways; some prefer specific types of publishers, some want to be mentioned specifically, and others would prefer to be mentioned only passively.

Current authority. Clients that start with a higher authority will need higher-DA publishers, more intensive action, and (usually) more new links to see results. You can’t use the same package for a well-established industry authority and a newcomer who’s just starting out.

Expectations. Client expectations should also play a role in how you shop for link building packages. Though the experts (either you or your link building provider) should be shaping those expectations, a client who expects faster results will need different care than one who’s ready for a slow-burn campaign.

These (and other) differences will, cumulatively, respond to your strategies in different ways. For example, some clients may tolerate a more aggressive link building campaign than others. Some clients may benefit from specific anchor text more than others.

11. Making a transaction instead of building a relationship.

Most link building agencies offer monthly package deals as well as a-la-carte link ordering. This makes it easy to view the link building process as a transactional one; you spend a fixed amount of money, get a fixed number of links, and move onto the rest of your campaign.

However, it’s much more effective to treat your relationship with your link building provider as an actual relationship, and not just a one-time exchange. That means working with the same account rep as long as possible, having occasional meetings, and establishing a precedent for a long-term partnership.

This is advantageous for several reasons:

Better client understanding. The longer you work together, the more your link building agency will get to know your clients’ brands, needs, and expectations. That understanding will lead to more efficient work, and better recommendations for what to do next.

More effective communication. The more time you spend in meetings with your link building agency, and sending material back and forth, the more efficiently you’ll be able to communicate. You’ll pick up on each other’s subtext faster, and will be able to anticipate each other’s needs and concerns.

Discounts and favors. If you stay on good terms, your link building agency may extend special discounts or favors to you, in return for being such a loyal client. This is especially valuable since most link building companies offer peripheral and related services, such as conversion optimization or social media marketing.

Consistency and expectations. Long-term business partnerships also give you more consistency, which is important if you want to set firm standards for what your clients can expect.

If you treat the relationship as too transactional, you’ll end up spending more time and more effort for inferior results.

12. Not negotiating the contract.

Most link building agencies offer a standard contract when you sign up for their services, but you should consider negotiating certain elements of this contract. Consider these factors:

Price. The first thing you’ll probably notice is the bottom-line price. Most agencies charge either a monthly rate or a per-link rate, but you may find some that charge a variable rate, or some that offer different rates for extra services, such as admin fees or research fees. Make sure you know exactly what you’re getting charged for.

Length/volume. It’s also a good idea to examine the length or duration of the contract; for example, if you sign up for a monthly link building service, there may be a minimum contract duration (such as one year), with a fee for early cancelation. Most link builders will disclose these terms proactively, but it doesn’t hurt to check.

Service stipulations. How exactly are these services going to be rendered? Ideally, your contract will state exactly how and when your links will be built, and what recourse you may have if those links aren’t built within the specified parameters.

Other terms and conditions. What other terms and conditions are there? You may be required to sign an NDA, and if you’re utilizing a white-label solution, you should check to make sure the contract specifically defines this relationship.

You may not be able to get a strictly better deal, but you should be able to rebalance the contract to better suit your needs. For example, you might be able to secure yourself a lower per-link price in exchange for extending the terms of the contract. In any case, make sure to review the wording and sections of the contract carefully.

13. Treating link building as the only solution.

Naturally, I’m a major proponent of link building. It’s an invaluable source of referral traffic, domain authority, and reputation benefits. But at the same time, it isn’t a perfect or comprehensive solution for your client’s marketing needs.

Link building is best suited as one of several complementary strategies. It works exceptionally well when paired up with content marketing, on-site SEO, social media marketing, and email marketing, and can take brands even further with a PR campaign or advertising campaign. If your link building agency can provide some of these services, consider providing them. If you can supplement some of these services on your own, consider supplementing them. If all else fails, you can at least set the expectation with your client that they’re going to need more than just link building if they want to grow their presence online.

This is important because it prevents link building from becoming the sole focus of any of your clients. Ultimately, a multifaceted campaign with multiple different strategies working together will offer better results, a higher ROI, and greater risk mitigation should any of those independent strategies fail.

Obviously, utilizing more strategies means investing more time, more money, or both, but those are the costs of a well-orchestrated, interwoven marketing strategy. Don’t put all your clients’ eggs in one basket.

14. Not checking live work.

Once you’ve found a link building agency you trust, it’s natural to assume that the work they produce will match the quality standards you’ve come to expect. They might have glowing reviews, you might have seen some compelling examples of their recent work, and you might have a fantastic relationship with your account representative.

But even so, it’s foolish to assume that a link has been built without checking the live result.

Here’s why:

Trust, but verify. You can usually trust that the work was done effectively, and in accordance with your contract and expectations—but it never hurts to check. You might find that the link was finalized with the wrong publisher, or that the link you were sent was broken. Mistakes like these are usually honest, so catching them early can ensure they’re fixed with haste.

Check for errors. Sometimes, errors can make it through the editorial process and wind up on the finished article. This is your last chance to check for them. Give the finished article a thorough scan for spelling mistakes, inaccurate statements, and broken links. Even the best agencies may slip up from time to time, and it’s far better to catch a mistake on day 1 than day 100.

Get inspired. This is also your chance to view a finished guest post and client link in a live environment. Not only does this put you closer to the process (which can help you manage client expectations in the future), it may also help you brainstorm link building tactics to use in the future, such as a new topic, or different wording or positioning.

Always take a few extra minutes at the end of any order or monthly submission to ensure the work has been completed satisfactorily. It can save you lots of headaches later on.

15. Compromising on data.

Data is the only way to tell if your campaign is working, and the only objective source to tell you what needs to be improved. Your link building company is responsible for proving their results to you (and by proxy, your clients) with objective numbers, and this isn’t up for debate or compromise.

At a minimum, you should know:

The number of links built. This one should be obvious, and might already be in your contract, but it still pays to know. If your link builder is outstanding, they’ll also be able to generate a report for how many total links your client has pointing to them, including ones that weren’t built as part of this contract.

The DA of each link source. Each publisher’s relative domain authority should be public knowledge. That way, you can quantify the value of each link.

Your clients’ DAs. Over time, you should expect your client’s domain authority to grow. If it doesn’t that could be a sign that something’s wrong.

Incoming referral traffic from each source. Referral traffic is another handy measure to gauge the value of each link. The more traffic you get from a single link, the more valuable it is.

If your link builder can’t give you these numbers directly for any reason (such as not having access to your clients’ Google Analytics accounts), they should be able to provide you with the direction and resources necessary to get them. Don’t assume that everything is working—let the numbers show you the way.

16. Failing to calculate ROI.

Most link building agencies provide raw data to their clients, but it’s on you to help your clients understand their ROI from those efforts. If you want to ensure you’re getting adequate results, you need to take things further by calculating your total return on investment (ROI).

There are a few different ways to calculate this as a middleman. You can start by calculating your agency’s own ROI (which is simple). Just take the amount of money your client is paying you (or the portion you’ve allocated for link building) and subtract what you’re paying the link builder. A positive result means you’re making money on this deal.

But perhaps more importantly, you should know whether your client is getting what they’re paying for. Work with your client to figure out the value of the average visitor using metrics like average transaction size, or conversion rates combined with traffic figures. Then, determine how many new visitors are coming from link-related sources (including referral traffic, organic traffic from search engines, and perhaps increased direct traffic from increased passive knowledge of the brand). The goal is to give your client more in value than they’re paying for services.

The only caveat here is that link building is a gradual, long-term process; you might start out with a low ROI that grows over time, so don’t get upset or give up if you aren’t positive in the first few months.

17. Accepting mediocre results.

Even if you’ve had an amicable working relationship, or if you’ve been partners for many years, there’s no reason for your marketing agency to accept mediocre results. You have the data. You have the ROI stats. Now it’s on you to take action if you (and your clients) aren’t seeing the results you want.

If your relationship is in good standing, you can start by having a conversation about your expectations and how they aren’t being met. From there, you can work on a mutual plan to escalate things, and see better results in the future. If your agency is unwilling to make concessions or take extra steps for you and your clients, it may be time to find a new link building partner.

Otherwise, treat this as an ongoing experiment. Work with your link building vendor to make a change, see how it affects your results, then keep the positive changes and reject the negative ones. Once you’ve read and accepted the weaknesses of these critical mistakes, you’ll be ready to start outsourcing your clients’ link building needs.

When you feel confident you’re ready for the next step, make sure to contact us here at AudienceBloom. We have some of the best marketers, writers, publishers, and analysts in the industry, and many of our biggest clients are agencies working with us on white label link building services to get better results for clients of their own. Reach out today, and let’s start a conversation about how we can get you (and your clients) better results through better link building!

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Jayson DeMers

Jayson DeMers is the Founder & CEO of AudienceBloom. You can contact him on LinkedIn, Google+, or Twitter.

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A Quest of 10 Moons

After cruising down a one-lane, precarious, gravel path in the heart of Kentucky, the clunky van pulled up to its familiar dirt patch parking spot. The van poured out two men trying to be kids, and ten actual kids, three of them were ten years old, two of them twelve, two of them thirteen, and three of them fourteen, some friends, but mostly strangers. A beat up 2007 Subaru Outback followed from some ways back and parked behind the van. From the car emptied three more 19-21-year-old large children with a sense of excitement and serenity. This was the heart of backcountry, the center of the Red River Gorge.

Three of the staff emptied the cars while Carter and I entertained the campers. “Alright guys, what’s the first thing you want to do when you set up your campsite? You’ve got to build a fire. Even though its still bright outside, you’re not gonna want to wait until its dark. So, everyone go collect as much firewood as you can. Whoever brings the most gets to eat first!” The kids scurried off in 10 different directions and Carter and I smirked at each other. It was a classic trick to get the campers to do way more work than you. I wouldn’t call it using them, but more of a division of labor. As soon as the cats disappeared into the woods, Carter and I looked at each other and without speaking and darted towards the river.

We slipped through some trees so the other staff wouldn’t notice we were slacking off. To be fair, our job was to get a fire going, and by the time the wood arrived Carter and I could be dried off and back to the site. A huge rock on the riverbed gave us about a 12 foot drop into the deep water of the bend. It was called Blue Moon Rock. I don’t think it was officially called that, but it was a camp tradition from generations ago. We thought that if others noticed our clothes were wet they’d get mad, so we agreed on taking all of them off. I jumped in first. My tall thin stature gracefully slid through the surface. I felt as if I danced on top of the cold water for a few moments before submerging. I brushed my thick brown hair out of my eyes and looked back up towards the rock from below. He was already soaring through the air with his long blonde hair acting as a tail from his hefty body. His splash was much less graceful than mine, entering like a bowling ball on glass pins. We laughed and delicately climbed up the slippery face of the rock. Quickly drying off we walked back over to the campsite to find a pretty weak sized pile of wood. Kids were still scattered around getting distracted by the spontaneous beauty of nature, and the other staff were slacking off just as much as we were.

We quickly set up the tents to make it seem like we had been working so we could deserve to slack off again. Three tents were erected before the other staff finally brought down supplies and prepared food. The other staff looked at me with judgmental glances, reminding me I had apparently done something to bother them, though I couldn’t think what it was. Children emerged from various directions of greenery with large sums of wood, competent for a long lasting fire. I started the fire, settled kids’ stuff into their tents, and set up my own sleeping quarters, a hammock 4 feet from the ground next to the staff tents, out of earshot from the kids’ tents. Within the 2 minutes it took for me to return to the campfire, every camper looked bored out of their mind. Knowing the food would take at least another 15 minutes I spoke up, “Hey guys, go get your swimsuits on and follow me.”

As a camp counselor, it was my job to change kids’ lives every single day doing things like this. I jumped in first to show them it was fun and safe. Some of them were really scared, and were able to get over it. A few kids just sat back and watched, having no desire to get wet. We had some fun by hosting a trick contest off the rock. Oliver, a ten-year-old, won with a nasty belly flop. Kids are pretty easy to entertain; anyone can do that. My job was to change their lives, so I stood on top of the rock, with fear and doubt in my mind at first, but knew that I had a job to do. With a new fire of courage, I turned my back to the water, threw my arms up in the air and did as many backflips as I could before I reached the water, which was about two and a half. They went wild. A backflip doesn’t really change a kid’s life, but showing them that there’s more to life than sitting in a desk and writing on a piece of paper sure as hell does. I was teaching them how to be free from the the man that has consumed their lives until now. They knew how to break free. With that we dried off and returned to the campsite with food waiting for us.

We ate, we laughed, we danced, we cried, and we thought. We watched the stars, those in the air and the one possessing the firewood before our eyes. We told jokes, shared stories, sang songs, and held conversation. Amidst the radiant energy, the other three staff kept to themselves, laughing at me rather than with me. Their feelings towards me brought my mental state out of Kentucky and into exile, feeling alone as I had for many nights. I longed for peace.

 When the kids entered their tents, Carter and I decided to take a night hike. Mostly to avoid the other staff until they were asleep, but also to spend some time in the woods alone with my best friend. We brought water, flashlights, and a hatchet; we were, after all, in the heart of the backcountry, where dangerous wildlife was common. For every two tree roots that we saw and stepped over, there was one we didn’t see and tripped on. The path narrowed and I took point. We spoke little and walked far, almost forgetting where we were. Enthralled by the vastness of the gorge, I closed my eyes and visualized where I was. For those few seconds, we stood under a canopy of trees miles wide. Upon opening my eyes, I calmly stood face-to-face with a large, burly bear. A Kodiak. He did not budge, but he sat in a calm, almost contemplative posture. I realized that Carter had disappeared, not from the silence, but more from the sensation that the Kodiak and I were intensely alone. I slowly reached up to switch my headlamp off, to which the bear seemed unphased. I saw a familiar gaze in his eyes, a look of desolation and loneliness. I was empathizing with a Kodiak bear in Kentucky. We continued starting at each other, until the massive Kodiak stood up. He continued rising in one fluid motion from his rear-end to his forelegs and on to just his back legs. He stood twice as tall as me. I had to tilt my head back to look at all of him.

His mouth didn’t seem to move that much, but he spoke in a deep, rumbling voice, “You have exactly 10 days to complete your task, whatever it may be.”

Unshaken by his voice, I replied, “but sir, how will I know what my task is?”

“Those who love you and those whom you love will show you.” I realized that his mouth wasn’t moving at all, but I was hearing him inside of my head. “Seek to seek, not to be sought.” With those words he turned around and strolled into the blackness of the forest, leaving me alone. In an attempt to absorb the conversation, I sat in the very spot I found him in.

 Training my eyes, I walked over half a mile through forests crossing creeks without a light. I was led by the dim glow of the fire dying out. Carter was asleep in our tent. Everything was calm and still. Without a hint of fatigue, not ready to sleep, I continued walking past the site to Blue Moon Rock. I crossed my legs and sat upon the peak of the rock, meditating.

 Dear reader, the next few hours of this night consisted of a mental transcendence that I am incapable of writing in words. It was a sensation that can only be felt, not described. In an attempt to generalize my experience, I will simply outline a few things that crossed my mind, inner feelings, and states of mind.

·             A connectedness to nature to the detail of micro-ecosystems

·             The reality of the Kodiak

o   knowing that Kodiaks don’t live in Kentucky, rather in Alaska

o   was he a vision? Or an apparition of an animal spirit?

·             A state of complete mental and emotional peace

·             Transforming and maintaining a new aura

·             Having a greater respect for animals

·             What is my task the Kodiak was talking about?

·             With many of the staff disliking me, who are the loved ones that will show me?

 I sat there all night, barely moving except to keep my limbs awake. My focus was interrupting by the fake excited hollering by the staff to wake up the campers. I calmly stood up and walked through the non-trail back to the campsite. I was so glad to see everyone, and they seemed happy to see me.

“I was just using the restroom,” to explain my absence, “I’ll make breakfast.” I started boiling some water and spreading peanut butter for 15. Carter sat next to me and helped. “Do you remember our hike last night?” I asked him.

“What hike, dude, I went to after campfire last night,” He replied.

“Must’ve been a dream I guess; I’ll tell you about it later.”

The morning was serene. The river ran calmly, the fire pit was still smoking, and the birds were starting to wake up. The campers weren’t complaining, the staff were relaxed, and my mind was clear.

Some campers asked me to help them take down their tents, and I enlightened them on packing methods. I also helped them clean up the campsite, and taught them about why its dangerous to leave trash, and that we have to care for the Earth. I lighted a new fire in their hearts with the passion of nature. The excitement from the kids got the other staff excited too, recognizing that I had inspired these kids to do something great. I began to learn what my task was.

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New Post has been published on http://www.buildercar.com/2015-ford-mustang-ecoboost-premium-four-seasons-wrap-up/

2015 Ford Mustang EcoBoost Premium – Four Seasons Wrap-Up

When Ford announced it would offer its new Mustang with a four-cylinder turbocharged engine for the first time since the mid-’80s, it struck some as a curious move given that things didn’t go so well back then—the Mustang SVO was unceremoniously dumped after just three years on the market. While there are those who believe the controversial SVO was ahead of its turbo time, most agree it was a misstep. So is the world finally ready for a fuel-efficient, turbocharged Mustang? We wanted to find out, so we ordered up a 2015 Mustang EcoBoost to join our Four Seasons fleet.

Whereas the SVO looked out of place in the Mustang lineup, with its dual-tier rear spoiler and offset hood scoop, the EcoBoost version doesn’t deviate much visually from the rest of the stable. But our car’s Competition Orange paint got all sorts of attention, especially with the black 19-inch wheels that came with the $1,995 EcoBoost Performance Package, which also adds upgraded brakes, Pirelli P Zero summer tires, sport suspension, and a limited-slip differential. On top of the Premium model’s automatic HID headlights, keyless entry, satellite radio, and MyFord Touch with Sync 2, we ticked the boxes for navigation ($795), leather Recaro bucket seats ($1,595), and a 12-speaker Shaker audio system bundled with blind-spot monitoring ($1,795). All told our Mustang rang in at $36,700, roughly $3,000 north of a base Mustang GT. (The EcoBoost Premium starts at about $1,000 less than the GT.)

Hellish Michigan roads left us with a flat tire and a scraped wheel early on in testing.

“This EcoBoost looks like a GT from every angle,” said daily news editor Conner Golden. “Can hardly fill up the gas tank without people asking me how I like the V-8, and then I have to let them down easy.” Editor complaints about the EcoBoost engine were numerous, most of them centering on the four-cylinder’s bland and toothless engine note. “Sounds just terrible,” said executive editor Mac Morrison. “There’s all kind of gear whine and induction noise. Too utilitarian for a sports car.” Editors echoed those sentiments over and over, even as more practical niggles about the EcoBoost started to surface; “wheezy,” “clunky,” “buzzy,” and “lazy” would make great understudy Disney dwarves instead of engine traits. The turbocharger alights at 3,000 rpm when the 2.3-liter EcoBoost’s 320 lb-ft of torque kicks in, but it can be a real slog getting there, especially in regular traffic. And if you do have room to let loose, boost subsides by the middle of the rev range, so there’s little muscle to chase toward its 6,600 rpm redline.

On the plus side of the ledger, the logbook was full of praise for the Mustang’s chassis and engaging six-speed manual. Detroit bureau chief Todd Lassa thought the Mustang’s transmission had “the best feel of any gearbox this side of a Honda or Mazda.” Editor-in-chief Mike Floyd felt similarly: “In L.A.’s stop and go, the clutch is easy to modulate, which my left leg especially appreciates. When things open up, it’s a blast to drop down a gear or two and wind the turbo pumpkin out.”

We put the Mustang’s dynamic capabilities to the test during two visits to GingerMan Raceway in South Haven, Michigan, and it impressed us with its immense grip and balance. The car exuded confidence in quick corners and never unexpectedly stepped out of line or lost composure. While its four-banger isn’t smooth, it had plenty of muscle to hustle the car; we easily whooshed our way past triple-digit speeds on both of the track’s long straights. “More than enough car to keep you entertained at the track, EcoBoost or not,” said one editor. “Fluid steering and strong brakes help, despite a bit of noticeable fade.”

“It’s interesting how you sit so far back from that high and imposing hood, even though it’s a four-cylinder.”

About those brakes. We should’ve replaced the worn pads before our second track day, but we didn’t and ended up paying the price: a whopping $1,814.26, to be precise. For that cash we got four new brake pads, two new front calipers, two new front rotors, and a brake fluid flush. Expensive lesson learned.

Great ergonomics are at work on the six-speed manual shift knob, which is fun to play with.

We enjoyed stretching the Mustang’s legs out on the open road as well, with editors snatching the keys for trips to Philadelphia, New York, the Poconos, Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, and even down to South Carolina to cut loose on the Tail of the Dragon. Before the Mustang made its biggest trip of the year — an epic journey from Detroit to Automobile HQ in Los Angeles — we swapped out the worn summer tires for high-performance Michelin Pilot Sport A/S 3 all-season rubber that came recommended from our friends at Tire Rack. We drove through snowstorms and over icy roads in Iowa and Colorado, and thankfully the rear-wheel-drive Mustang never got too squirrely along the way. We matched the car’s EPA-estimated 31 mpg on the highway, which meant easy cruising for more than 400 miles between fill-ups.

Packing for the cross-country escapade took very little forethought, seeing as how the Mustang’s foldable rear seats and reasonably wide trunk opening make the Camaro’s cargo area look like a mail slot. The Blue Oval ponycar also bests its Bow Tie competitor when it comes to visibility, according to contributing editor John Lamm: “It’s interesting how you sit so far back from that high and imposing hood, even though it’s a four-cylinder. Nonetheless you can actually see out of the Mustang, which is more than you can say for the Camaro with its bunker roof.” Editors also lauded the Recaros, which proved extremely supportive at the track and plenty comfortable during our longer trips.

Once in Los Angeles, the Mustang faced a lot more grueling city traffic during its daily grind. Editors enjoyed the Mustang far more once they broke free from the downtown slog and went flat out on California’s fantastic canyon roads. We finished our year with a healthy 29,228 miles on the Mustang’s odometer, but came up 2 mpg short of the EPA city/highway combined rating of 26 mpg. “Useful for the occasional large box or Fender Telecaster, but its fuel efficiency didn’t live up to expectations,” noted features editor Rory Jurnecka. “I struggled to break 20 mpg in my daily commute, despite the 22 mpg rating.”

A generous dusting of Pacific Ocean sand adds a victorious final layer to many states’ worth of road grime.

Maybe the trap of an EcoBoost Mustang, especially with the optional Performance Package, is that it’s like the uncanny valley—something appears normal but is slightly different in a very nondescript way and thus causes uneasiness. The more a Mustang looks like a GT while boasting 310 hp as well as great fuel economy, the more we criticize it if or when it falls short of expectations. Ford’s new-world Mustang is, after all, better suited to its time than the SVO ever was. Even though the engine disappointed us at times, the EcoBoost Mustang proved itself to be a versatile and capable daily sports car that, with a few fixes, could hold a worthy place in Ford’s stable.

Pros & Cons

+ Athletic chassis + Excellent highway fuel economy + Turns heads – City fuel-efficiency that underperforms – Harsh and uninspiring engine – Sticker shock for an everyman’s sports car without much soul

2015 Ford Mustang EcoBoost Premium Running Costs

Mileage

29,228 miles Warranty 3-yr/36,000-mi bumper-to-bumper 4-yr/60,000-mi powertrain 5-yr/60,000-mi roadside assistance Scheduled Maintenance 10,052 mi: Oil change, oil filter, tire rotation, $0 18,902 mi: Oil change, oil filter, tire rotation, $60.21 26,311 mi: Oil change, oil filter, tire rotation, $64 Warranty Repairs None Recalls None Out-Of-Pocket 9,693 mi: Purchase, mount, balance new summer tire to replace flat, $325.17 10,724 mi: Brake fluid flush before track day, $99.15 18,902 mi: Replace brake pads, front rotors, front calipers, flush brake fluid, $1,814.26; purchase, mount, balance Michelin Pilot Sport A/S 3 255/40R-19, $1,149.52 19,244 mi: Repair and repaint damaged front driver’s side wheel, $175.00 Fuel Consumption: EPA city/highway/combined: 24/34/28 mpg Observed: 24.09 mpg Cost Per Mile (Fuel, service, tires): $0.27 ($0.76 including depreciation) Trade-In Value $21,400 *Estimate based on information from Intellichoice

Our Test Results 0–60 mph 6.0 sec 60-0 mph 108 ft 1/4–mile 14.3 sec @ 97.2 mph Skidpad 0.97 g

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