#this has been rotating in my head for DAYS

[corpscs]

emergency contact ‎⚕️paramedic!yelena x f!reader

♡ wlw , fluff , no use of y/n , reader has undisclosed medical condition , aquarium date , reader likes the ocean , reader has trinkets lol , the girls are flirting , this was edited by my cat so ignore any spelling or grammar mistakes i will probably find them later , images are from pinterest , divider , russian is from google/reddit

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ♡ ty ochen krasivaya - you look beautiful , spasibo - thank you , brelok - keychain/toy

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ♡ masterlist , word count 2.4k

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ♡ part 1 ♡ part 2 ♡ part 3

bones’ now playing ▶︎ emergency contact - corook

“you can’t ditch.” john said. “we have assigned teams for a reason. now the whole just concept falls apart.”

“walker, i do not care about the teams right now.” yelena continued packing up her bag as he scoffed.

“so that’s it? you’re just ditching go-karts for a girl?” he pressed.

“no, i’m ditching go-karts for a pretty girl.” yelena corrected.

“no way!” ava gasped from her spot on her bunk. yelena was surprised she was even paying attention to the conversation amidst her doom scroll session. “you asked the pretty bracelet girl on a date?”

“i did.”

“the girl from the subway fall?” bob gasped holding his pillow in both his hands.

“yes, bob.” she sighed answering the same question for a third time.

had it been anyone but robert keeping the personal conversation going, yelena would have been far less kind. bob was a rookie that yelena had decided to take under her wing. he didn’t deserve the hazing from the other guys and any anyone in the station would eat a bullet before crossing her.

the room collectively jumped when chief was suddenly standing at the door like some ghostly assassin. “you asked one of your patients on a date?” bucky asked with an unimpressed expression.

“oh my god!” yelena groaned leaning her head back. she zipped up her duffle, slinging the bag over her shoulder. bucky stepped through the doorway to let her pass through.

“why not call my dad and tell him too! maybe even commissioner de fontaine, i am sure she would also love to know.” she called as she retreated down the hallway.

ཐི⋆⚰︎⋆ཋྀ

yelena hadn’t seen you since the day she was dispatched to your fall, but you had texted frequently. your asleep schedule was so off that you eved helped get yelena through her graveyard rotation with random late night texts. she had made a mental note to ask you about your sleeping habits more.

she used her first off day to catch up on her own sleep, planning their date on the following. yelena had left you in the dark, only telling you where to meet and that she’s almost certain you will not faint again. the only info she gave you was how much walking you would do, the train length and times so you could you pack anything you needed ahead of time.

the address she gave you was a cafe. as you got closer to the building, you could see her standing amongst the crowd wearing a long patterned coat. her hair was down and she was wearing more jewelry, a few layered necklaces, ring stacks and the same collection of earrings with a few swapped out.

your breathing tightened as you approached her. yelena had a resting bitch face hard enough enough to kill a man. to any passing stranger she was probably one of the most intimidating woman on the block, but her face cracked into a grin when she saw you approaching.

“look at you, all upright and stable.” she greeted.

“for now.” you joked.

“ha, ha, you are so funny.” she fake-laughed, “your job of the day is staying awake.” she pushed off the wall as you two began walking towards the cafe door and holding it open for you. “this place is so cute.” you observed the outer decor before stepping inside.

“it is cute.” she agreed. “we had a call across the street a while back. bob insisted we come inside.”

“bob?”

“bob is a rookie.” she explained. “big cutie, you would enjoy him.” you two placed your order to go. yelena paid, but offered to maybe let you pay on the next date.

you two sat off at an empty table waiting for your order. yelena eyes wandered over your face before she spoke. “ty ochen krasivaya.”

she wore a gentle smile on her face that made your face feel warm. you waited for her to maybe tell you what she had said but, no, she just continued to smile.

“don’t make me pull up google translate.” you threatened with a giggle. yelena’s face flashed a look of contemplation before she relented.

“i was saying that you look beautiful.”

you blinked twice quickly, “thank you,” your grin widened as you retuned the compliment. “you make a very pretty civilian,” you responded honestly. “but i will admit i like your uniform.”

“oh so you you have a thing for women in uniform, huh?” she teased. “is that why you agreed to this date?”

“just a bonus.” you shrugged. “how do you say thank you in russian?” you asked her tilting your head.

“spasibo.” you shamelessly watched her lips enunciate the word and clumsily repeated it.

your conversation was interrupted by the barista calling your order out and placing it you on the counter. while leaving you opened the door for her this time, she was holding her own coffee and the pastry bag, which you took and placed in your day bag once you were outside.

when you glanced down at your hand you saw the barista’s scribbling on the sides of the cup. your order on one side and under your palm was, ‘good luck on your date’ you turned your hand to show yelena your cup. she laughed, flashing you her own cup which read ‘she’s totally into you’.

you allowed yelena to lead you to a subway station on 34th. the yellow lights of the station flickered occasionally as you descended down the staircase. when you reached about two thirds to the bottom of the stairs you glanced back to her. “are you walking behind me like a fall risk on purpose, or is it habit?” she was a step behind you, stood slightly to the side, her right arm hung parallel to the middle of your back, coffee in her left hand.

“i met you on the floor of a subway station, can you not blame me for this?” yelena shrugged.

the station wasn’t overly crowded since it was already late morning and most people where minding their business. save for a guy in a red hat arguing with an invisible man across the tracks. the two of yoi watched the man yap about so much but absolutely nothing at all for the entire four minute wait.

“c’mon.” yelena looped her arm into your elbow when the correct train arrived.

you read off the letter of the train you looked to her, “are we going where i think we’re going?” you smiled excitedly.

she shrugged. “i don’t know, you will just have to wait and see.”

the train was already pretty crowded so yelena gave you the first open seat she saw opting to stand in front of you. she seemed to understand the implication of the position and gave you a look. as she adjusted her footing, the both of you silently giggled trying to maintain good train etiquette. but it is new york, and you have seen some less than savory things in your travels. by the fourth stop, yelena was able to snag the seat next to you. the old woman sitting beside you gave your leg a little pat with a smile before she shuffled off the train.

“old people are so cute.” you said quietly.

yelena made a thinking sound while sipping from her cup, “sometimes.” you assumed she had more than enough stories from work to dispute your claim, but she changed the subject before you could ask.

“i wanted to ask you about the brelok.” you tilted your head as yelena snapped twice. “the keychains,” she corrected herself. clipped to your bag was a sunflower lanyard along with various other items. “what is this little furry monster bunny… baby?” she reached out to grab the head. “what are you?” she asked it.

“it’s a labubu.” you told her.

she blinked. “that did not explain to me what it is.”

“it’s a monster character thing that come in a mystery bag.” her face melted into understanding.

“and what about the cat wearing a tiny gingham suit and tiny matching hat?” she poked at the squirrel. “he is very stylish.”

“it’s a calico critter.” you said.

“ooh i know what this is!” she stated proudly while pointing to your penguin jellycat. “bob has a little dog on his bunk.” you truly did begin to think that you and bob would get along.

“our stop.” yelena stood up before the train came to the next stop, bracing herself by shifting her weight. she offered you her hand before you made your way off the train.

when you recognized your surroundings and you were correct. yelena had taken you to the aquarium.

she looked a little nervous as the two of you headed to large canopy entrance to get a spot in line. “i’m glad you are excited. i saw the penguin and the fish pin and gambled.” the fish pin was ponyo but you weren’t going to ruin that for her.

“well jackpot, i love the aquarium.” you assured her, gripping her hand tighter.

before you started the exhibits you sat and ate what you got at the cafe on a bench. you had pulled your phone out of your bag to show yelena sylvaniandrama to explain the calico critter but she let out a choked laugh before you even pressed play.

“why is this tiny baby looking at me?” her eyes never even looked at the screen, too focused on the naked baby stuck on your case. you couldn’t control the laughter that escaped you. “it’s another mystery bag thing. it’s a sheep angel!” you pointed to its head. when your giggles died down enough for you to how her the video, her returning laughter only spurred on your own.

“i will admit they are cute.” she her voice breathy from laughing.

“well, next date we can find you some.”

ཐི⋆⚰︎⋆ཋྀ

“you know, female angelfish often pair up together.” you said staring at a yellow striped one through the glass. “but i guess sometimes they cannibalize.”

“that seems to be a theme with lesbians,” yelena joked. “maybe it is mother natures’ irony.” you snorted and looked away from the tank to face her.

“well, there’s also amazon mollies.” you offered. “tiny fish that are all female and technically asexually reproduce.”

“i like them.” she decided with a small nod. you had reached the end of this exhibit and where moving were

“you know a lot about fish.” yelena said as the two of you walked down a darker corridor, you felt a featherlight touch of her hand on your back when she noticed you slow down slightly.

“i sometimes have too much free time.” you chuckled, yelena made a face of understanding. you paused briefly, not wanting her to feel awkward. “there’s a fish that lives out in the desert that can’t survive anywhere outside of that one geothermic hole.”

“oh, that is so pathetic.”

“they live in the devils hole.”

yelena practically cackled. “the devils hole?” she parroted. “no,” she called out your name, “you’re lying to me again.”

“it’s a desert, it’s hot.” you explained, but she continued to laugh at you.

“you’re making it sound worse.” she elbowed you. “so, what do they call the fish in the devils hole?” her question died back into a giggle.

“pupfish.” the cackle was back.

“oh my god!” she gasped. “even with the word devil the name is pathetic.”

soon the two of you were back outside and made your way to the underwater viewing of the otter that you were so excited about.

“okay, i get it, they are cute.” yelena relented as she watched one of the otters rub it’s face with it’s little paws.

“they get emotionally attached to a specific rock.”

“stop it.” she warned.

“they also sleep holding hands so they don’t drift from each other at night.” you continued.

“oh my god.” she pouted at the glass.

“they’re actually really freaky.” you said quietly.

“you make me love them and now you’re going to ruin it.” she lightly tugged the sleeve of your shirt.

deciding to save yelena’s image of the otters you decided to be vague, “if they were human they’d be getting capital punishment.”

yelena pulled her phone from her back pocket. you watched her type from the corner of your eye, still watching the otters. “oh no.” she said immediately clicking into a link. after two minutes of silent anticipation yelena spoke again. “jesus christ.” her head nodding back up to the glass.

you shrugged. “maybe these ones are okay.” with that final thought to leave yelena spiraling, you to moved to the penguins, then the sharks.

there was a small break where you decided to sit down and have some water. you had apologized when yelena made sure you were fine, but she didn’t think twice about sitting down next to you. not counting the sit down as a loss of time she chatted the minutes away doing most of the talking allowing you to catch up a bit.

not before long you were at the touch tanks.

“it’s slimy.” yelena withdrew her hand from the tank, as she touched a ray.

“their skin actually kind of feel like cat tongues.” you blurted. “they’re just coated in mucus.” yelena’s nose wrinkled.

“you know everything.” she noted.

“only the weird shit.” you laughed. “speaking of, i wanna see the octopus before we leave.”

ཐི⋆⚰︎⋆ཋྀ

this took me way too long to churn out i’m sorry i rewatched thunderbolts yesterday and i have ideas.

also hello to all the new gay people in my phone 🫵

masterlist | 𓉸 ♡, bones

[stygiansauce]

Obligatory sorry if you’ve been asked this already!

What are your drunk headcanons for the boys? Tipsy, flat out, and then day after if you have thoughts.. Also, do either avoid drinking, or only drink alone/around certain people? One of my guilty pleasures is drunk fics >_> and I was grinning like an idiot when Jimmy got all touchy at that party in MoE… I also love that you didn’t have Tango give in — chefs kiss! That’s what we love to see! 🦃

SO, i've had to rotate this one for a moment. I don't drink a lot personally and I grew up in a family that doesn't drink a lot. We're like a, special/social occasion family and we're also hermits of our own making so...not often. My first big experience with alcohol was college and I'm such a worrier that I tend to stay sober and take care of my friends. I figured, because it's (alcohol) such a big part of American university culture, it would be important to include in MoE, ALSO because it's before Jimmy can legally drink. it's become a plot point now.

I'm not sure I have general 'drunk' head canons for the characters. I do for MoE though, so I'm going to stick to that for today's list.

Oli is a light weight. He get three seltzers in him and has all the confidence in the world. he can and will do a sloppy power point presentation, he's funny as all get out, and the next day he bounces back with just a bottle of water and cold shower.

Gem is also a light weight--but she knows it. She sips her drinks and has water intermittently, she hates being hungover. If she's going to let go and have fun she's more often than not leaving her drink with a trusted individual (almost always Joel) and running around to her hearts content. For her its more about seeing her friends than it is the drinking.

Joel is an "I love you so much" drunk. He's normally the DD or the 'I can only have one I'm just here to watch my wife have fun' guy. but when he takes the chance to drink he's almost always dropping the tough guy act and telling everyone how much he loves them. He will also tell someone how much he hates them. Just, no filter on his emotions really. Joel likes cider because "appy juice for real men"

Jimmy is touchy. SOOOOOOO touchy and clingy. He just wants to be close to someone. He normally ends up under Etho's arm, or smooshed into Grian's side. He's cold and he's tired and he wants to be close. (and Tango will never say no to a clingy Jimmy)

Tango holds his alcohol really well. It take a lot to get him tipsy and even more to get him drunk. He'll sway a little when it gets bad, but overall he somehow gets smarter?? He's one of those nerds that does math when he's drunk. The first TIES poker night, he and Impulse drunkenly create an entire engine blueprint and it was actually good enough for Impulse to use on a project later. He'll get EXTRA southern because he isn't holding it back. He misses home a little extra and turns into a real sly flirt because he was raised by cynical cowboys of course he starts slinging comments about horses and "the industry"

Etho doesn't drink.

Bdubs only drinks if Etho is there. He like to lean back into Etho's front and people watch. Bdubs gets quiet when he drinks and it falls to Etho to fill their space.

Scar has never been drunk...viably. mans holds it so well you'd never know.

Grian always stops after two. he's never let go enough to know what he's like drunk.

Pearl has only ever done fancy events with like champagne and wine. She holds one drink the whole night and goes with that. if she were to go a bar it would be a neat whiskey and that's it.

Skizz is Venezuelan, if you've ever seen a good Latino block party, THAT. if you haven't, I'm sorry. you're missing out. THATS ALL I GOT! I had to really think this through and even then I feel like a lot of it is up for debate/ might change as the story goes.

[bunnyboy-juice]

i may not be into fauxcest but i am absolutely a friend of the family

[sereneabyyss]

Posting this here for the sole reason for maybe someone will write this au before I am forced to by sheer peer pressure alone.

Anyway so idol au for hunters gonna lay low time. (Someone please write this I'm already too swamped in aus)

(will probably write this au anyway but as one shots of different scenes but I DIGRESS-)

So anyway idol au right? Cej debuted as an idol and his stage name was J, he was so popular because he always wore a mask as an idol which added this mysteriousness to him that everyone fucked with hard. This led to a trend of idols debuting with masks. He just wanted privacy.

So then flash forward three years after debut, his aunt gets sick, dies, he maybe gets injured, maybe gets sick, went to military service for a few years, had a midlife crisis, anything to fill in eight years, the aunt totally did die tho.

So like during those eight years he didn't keep up with idol culture and he was kept signed to his company without dissolving the contract (totally not legal btw, we ignore these things) in that time a new number one pop idol has come about, Lee Sa Young.

He comes to know of Lee Sa Young because when he first visited the hangover soup restaurant (yes that STAYS dammit) a new segment covering the tribute show lsy performed for J was playing.

Anyway so in this au lsy was a child dying from cancer that cej visited as J for idol promotion stuff but when he learned lsy didn't have any close relatives or anyone visiting, he would visit and even have a portion of his income to pay for lsy treatments. So then lsy gets better, debuts under the pado agency and he's the idol that gets them on the map. lsy is a solo idol with bww as his manager. BWW ONLY manages lsy. That's how much of a pr nightmare he is everyday.

Well anyway without j who was their only big star, his company went under and got bought by pado agency. But the paperwork for j kinda got lost so technically j is a pado idol, no one knows who he is tho.

Some other details: hangover soup restaurant is right next to all the idol agencies, a lot of the staff go there for lunch, rarely does an idol come, but you can sometimes see them.

Jung bin was a rising actor when cej was active, but after eight years he's only known for the infomercials his agency keeps having him do. You can often see his face advertising a juice juice brand or a flavor of water.

J has a very distinct style of dance. No one else has been able to replicate this. Lsy recognizes cej as j after seeing him dance when cej thought he was alone in the hangover soup restaurant.

OH ALSO the artisan dude is a highly sought after producer who doesn't care to work with most idols because he thinks their styles are boring. He can sometimes tolerate producing for lsy but even that gets boring. This all changes after he finds a video of some guy singing in his show with a really low quality mic but the voice is absolutely angelic and is the closest thing to J they've had in years.

(meanwhile cej had heard posting covers on YouTube could sometimes get you extra cash and he had an old video that his aunt took when he was practicing his part for an unreleased song back when he was active and figured that would be alright and not stand out too much but should gain some traction. He immediately freaked out when it somehow just suddenly went viral and deleted it.)

[fruit-sauce]

Ok so, thanks to Baghera's recent lore, I can finally this up

Federation kids -> Aether family

[divorcedtom]

Tramell Tillman as Seth Milchick in SEVERANCE 2.01

[waterfallofspace]

something about a breathless "sorry-" uttered right between the last sneeze they've barely finished, and the next they're already starting to hitch for~

[lyn-ne]

shoutout to this post

[basil-the-scorned]

[multiverse-of-multifandoms]

Pacific Rim (2013) The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013)

[jewelthenerd]

happy April fools, here, have some totally normal Ninjago and Monkie kid fanart /j

More sketches n stuff under the cut but they’re older drawings and/or don’t look great imo :/

[clinicallyinsanedumpsterrabbit]

"Coin-Operated Boy"

"Coin-operated boy

He may not be real experienced with girls

But I know he feels like a boy should feel

Isn't that the point, that is why I want a

Coin-operated boy

With a pretty coin operated voice

Saying that he loves me that he's thinking of me

Straight and to the point

That is why I want

A coin-operated boy"

Don't you just love making a robot version of your dead boyfriend that tried to kill you after constantly trying to bring him back and failing so you build a robot version of him because there is no way at all to bring back someone who is soulless

Anyway I got a single song stuck in my head for a week again so you're all getting this

And some alt versions

And as per tradition it's almost 4 am

[everybodyshusband]

i standby that a really silly idea for a crack fic would be something set in an alternate universe where ghost is still a small band that plays in the local pub and they're so into the anonymity that even the members don't know who each other are underneath the masks

cut to: dew and rain dating each other and having to come up with increasingly far-fetched reasons as to why they can't ever go out on monday nights when the band rehearses and (when the band eventually starts touring) why they'll be away for a couple months at a time...

[giogio-gruebel]

I wish all of them had gotten more interactions with each other 💔

[emulation-0]

thinking about uroyuki and intimacy. its not something uro seeks and its not something shes accustomed to either. shes not accustomed to anyone looking at her, having hidden to carry out hits, and when they do, they dont see a soul behind the body and its capabilities. and she couldve been fine with that. ever since reincarnating she likely wouldve killed the sorcerers who looked at her wrong anyway

yuki is casual and open about intimacy and is pretty touchy with uro. doesnt think twice about pulling her in or tapping her shoulder or trying to feed her or yanking her somewhere. its annoying and grating at first and uro cant help being a little fearful (yuki's a special grade, too) but she doesnt anticipate not hating it after a while. instead of bugs crawling over her, theres an imprint left behind by yuki's touch that doesnt fade

when they hug for the first time its yuki who initiates it and uro thinks she'll hate it because shes never liked being embraced before, and she does. she doesnt like the feeling that yuki is so much bigger than her and is stronger than her and could trap her in her arms if she wanted to. but uro finds she doesnt mind embracing yuki. she doesnt mind sinking into warmth when her hands are so cold and doesnt mind yuki holding her face between her hands like it means something. and when yuki looks at her, uro realizes shes being seen. yuki is casual with intimacy so her sincerity is always apparent, and yuki's eyes are on hers instead of anywhere else. and when they travel, the soul of uro's cells sing instead of their surfaces. because yuki is admiring the soul of her body and the body of her soul

[stateofnull]

oughhhhh I hate being in dead fandoms because what do yoy mean. There’s only like. 5 tunneler fans left in existence.