#this is a really weird joy of being perceived kind of thing

[ghostieblotts]

YOOOOOO WAIT HELL YEAH I'm so happy those worked out so well!! Mate I bet if you did a Barb cosplay at some point it would absolutely rule :D also I can't believe I accidently matched a running thing with Elle there!! And oh man I think you would love Purah. She is very strange, she is a genius, she survived the apocalypse, she's probably in her 120s or thereabouts in totk and only looks younger because she invented de-aging technology (originally intended to be used on aging soldiers) and proceeded to use herself as the test subject, she keeps calling Link 'Linky', almost immediately after confirming he wasn't dead she launched him hundreds of metres into the sky without actually explaining what she was doing. She's swaggy as hell basically

YIPPEE hell yeah thank you!! My guys :D (this is a win in my book) also. You are the third person to say I'm like the Captain this is wild. I seriously need to watch BBC Ghosts so I can see this guy

Well. Tanya Freemont, obviously, because she's your girl. But also Barb Larvernor for the technological swagger, and also a little bit of Purah (BotW/TotK) for similar reasons. And for some reason Elle Woods? Disclaimer that I have never watched Legally Blonde. There's just something about the power of "what, like it's hard?" that feels like your vibe.

hi oh my goodness sorry i didn't see this right away, my phone decided to stop giving me tumblr notifications for hours(??) so i only saw when i logged in on desktop. and thank you!!!! i love love LOVE barb she's my everything! i was thinking of going as her to spies even.. you GET it. AND ELLE MY BELOVED! my friend and i have a joke that i am literally the elle woods of my compsci class (which is made up of all blokes bar me) so youre bang on the money there too i think. i haven't actually played any zelda games (actually i don't think any of my devices can even run them) but i trust your judgement here by now.

you remind me of owen because like.. well obviously thats Literally you. tadius too of course for the same reason (i mean my mental image of you is literally in tadius cosplay) i think of the captain from bbc ghosts as well because he has a similar kind of energy i think? i'm long due a ghosts rewatch but it's something in his mannerisms.

[honey-skulls]

Ena saying, after being asked "you have a job??": "it's more of a lifestyle. That's my destiny, what more could i do?............god knows the rest"

And after being called "boss lady", saying "oh I'm no longer the boss of myself"

....

Bbg did you get forced into this job??? Did you not have a choice?????

And with the fact that she doesn't allow herself to have any fun or feel any real joy as long as she's working

and the flashback(?) scene of her in a war(?) with bullets raining on her from her hat?

Girl, what happened to you, I'm getting seriously worried

+ the weird ENA racism going on in that whole universe apparently

And the whole thing of her constantly saying "god bless you" and "you are still a child of god" to everyone who does business with her, yet when the genie start absolving her of her sins and saying she's forgiven, and starting to turn her into an angel. Only to realise she's an Ena, and immediately going "nevermind, you're unforgiven", and saying that nobody would ever be punished for the sin of being born, "except you"

There's a serious theme of not having a choice. or rather, never being given one

No choice in what you can do, how you're perceived. Pushed around and almost never respected, and all of this just because of her "species", something she had (probably ?) no control over

Some people are polite, and some even like her, but i don't think she has a single friend

Something series!Ena also kinda has.

Jugement just because of what she is, and a lack of fun, though hers seems a lot more like depression, with how she's genuinely trying to feel joy and keeps seeking it out.

She also has a friend, but only one, and Moony's kind of a jerk to her sometimes, but it feels more like her ego rather than genuine distaste towards Ena.

She also responds differently to the people talking to her

Where bbq!Ena's foreign speaking characters will have subtitles/what Ena is choosing(?) to hear be slightly toned down, it still gets the idea across of how they're insulting her, and she responds accordingly. Meanwhile, series!Ena will have foreign characters insult her just the same, but the subtitles/what she's choosing to hear are completely different sometimes (Merci(?)), sounding friendly and supportive, and she responds kindly and like they were a friend

And also the fact that when bbq!Ena deviates from what she was supposed to do (go to the bathroom to stop the smoke), and goes to the purge event. A choice. She immediately regrets it, hates it, looses an arm, wants to leave, and ends up getting eaten and dying in a bad ending

The second she made an actual choice herself, she fucking died

No choices allowed. No agency

I'm so curious about what the deal is with the ENA hate in that world

Edit: ALSO the shaman is the only one who's exactly on the same wavelength as her, they even finish each other's sentences

The shaman is also really disliked and an outcast, just like her

And he tells her "YOU are here because *you want* to be. I can see it in your eyes"

More mention of choice and freedom

Edit 2: start of the purge event when meanie Ena says "I crave freedom, and the genie is my only escape !"

Edit 3: the half hand guy with the red threads say "Glory it is to see your actions while YOU are trapped here, in captivity"

Edit 4: the guy stuck in the building who's struggling to get out, and stops to stare at you if you get close

Once the door closes and everything gets half destroyed half auctioned off, and it's pretty much a wasteland, you find him on the ground, looking off into the abyss, saying "i was born with a purpose from the bells of creation. My soul was poured into the river of time, and my flesh under the pressure of life. A disturbing relief is what is in front of me"

He was trapped, just like her, but now he's free

And the bells of creation...the guy in the cave said "the key to enter the bathroom, two isn't enough. They say if you hear three, you can see it. Ask not for whom the bell tolls, ENA. Bells."

[justin-chapmanswers]

you set twitter on fire with pronouns howd you do that

Uhhhhh yeah so. I've been glancing here and there to all of that. For context, people noticed a pronoun adjustment on my Twitter page, yadda yadda, and started making posts about it. Then those posts started getting heat for a variety of reasons. Some that seemed to some to be using misgendering for humor (via meme), some that are pushing against parasociality, some that generally think that spectacle with this stuff should be avoided since I didn't even make a post about it or anything. Etc.

And uh. Ya'know. I vibe with a lotta that.

But tbh while I'm not really one to enjoy spotlight, idk, I don't mind people just generally bringing that stuff up and noting it. If it makes people feel good to see someone they can relate to, sure why not. The only thing that actively concerns me is seeing people argue or attack as a result of me. Let's just keep things chill if we cannn. I feel like everyone that's posted on the subject is all on the same side. None of us are here pushing for the limitation or elimination of lgbtqia people and experiences. That's the kind of thing always worth pushing back against. But I just hope to see everyone in this community vibing and letting joy flow.

When we were working on S3E9 and the writing team was trying to break down the initial story conceit where Goo would initially be a little weirded-out and confused after Bot revealed themself to a non-Bow robot, I was the one who pitched "hey how about we flip the story around to exemplify something a little more specific that also shines a more positive light on Bot and Goo's relationship? How about trying an angle where Goo is characteristically hyper-positive about what they've learned about Bot, but the conflict comes from the intensity and spectacle Goo comes at it with? Then Bot may be uncomfortable, but understands it comes from a good place?" -- I was excited to see that it was the direction the episode ended up going in, both because it felt appropriately lighter, and it felt personal. Making changes in how you present and want to be perceived can be so difficult, and that comes with such a deep well of complicated feelings. But all this to say, yeah I sometimes feel overwhelmed being perceived in online spaces, but even with that in mind, I'd still rather see silliness and celebration than conflict. But that's just meeeee.

Be good to yourselves, be good to each other. I am not mad at anyone. Best wishes. :)

EDIT: Do appreciate all people out there posting for the purpose of defending me. I don't wanna downplay the fact that y'all care, it means a lot. Just figure best to not fan any more flames. All's okay.

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

A lot of things that seemed weird to me about the current culture of reading and writing became more clear to me when I realized that an awful lot of people are perceiving both reading and writing as tools to get at the thing they actually want, which is a good story. That's why they think it makes sense to read by skimming past dense text and only focusing on dialogue -- that's a "hack" that will get you access to The Story in a mostly comprehensible form, so why not save yourself time and work? It's why people set up speed-reading challenges, because why not consume ten stories instead of five -- that's more! And it's why people, or this type of person anyway, are excited about AI tools that outsource the labor of turning an idea (the concept of a plan, if you will...) into A Story. A Story is the goal for these people, on either the production or consumption end. Generate story, transmit story to audience, rinse, repeat. Whatever makes that process easier, more efficient, and yeah, more accessible is definitionally an improvement.

I don't think people who are this kind of reader or writer (it just took everything I had not to put "reader" and "writer" in quotation marks -- I'm really trying to be fair-minded here!) actually understand the experience the rest of us are having with reading and writing. Taking in a good story can be -- I'd say usually is -- *part* of that experience, but we're also engaging with text in other ways at the same time. We're mining it for types of meaning that extend beyond the story (all those dreaded Themes and Symbols that your mean English teacher banged on about!) We're reading those long paragraphs for the artistry of them, for the musicality, for aesthetic pleasure. We're investigating not just *what happens in the story,* but who the storyteller is and what they're revealing to us about the way they perceive the world.

When we get frustrated about people "not reading it right," we're probably being obnoxious busybodies (you can, in fact, do whatever you want forever!), but we're not doing it because of the joy we get from looking down on other people. It's more like we're watching people be served a delicious roast chicken, and then cut a couple strips of skinless breast meat off the bird, throw the rest of it in the trash, and talk about how they're such foodies. You didn't even eat it! You barely touched the thing! There's so much waste. And it's even more appalling when the chef throws most of the dish out before it even leaves the kitchen.

So obviously I'm not framing this very neutrally, but like, it *has* all become a little easier to process in my head now that I understand what kind of meat the Booktok types are actually hungry for.

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

It's raining jql! Hang onto your butts because this is a jam-packed post. We now have three shows airing weekly on Gaga, plus several fan subbers making our dreams come true. What a time to be alive.

Takara's Treasure

I love them, your honor. This show is from the same directing and screenwriting team as Our Dining Table, so it should come as no surprise that the characters immediately endeared themselves to me. Taishin is a lonely boy still mourning the death of his beloved pet bird and latching on to the senior who was kind to him in his low moment. Takara is a reserved tsundere who seems a bit taken aback by this weird kid who followed him to university, but Taishin's sincerity and gentleness is working on him already. It doesn't hurt that Taishin is not faking his interest in the things Takara loves, that boy is an amateur botanist. This one is going to be so much fun, and almost certainly make me cry. Can't wait!

I Hear the Sunspot

These two already own my heart. I loved that we took the time to get to know Kohei better at this early stage and understand how isolated and excluded he has felt since he began experiencing hearing loss. He needed someone loud and straightforward and unapologetic like Taichi to barrel into his life and pull him back out of his shell again. I was so relieved when Taichi confronted him immediately about his avoidance and cleared up the idea that he only wants to see him when he's being fed. The joy I felt seeing Kohei laugh and finally relax and play a simple game of basketball with his peers was immense. I could gaze at his smiling face all day.

Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko

Holy shit, I love this show! We begin our story with a makeover, and it only gets better from there. Adapted from a manga, this is an age gap office romance between an experienced lesbian and the purportedly straight junior who is in love with her. Hiroko is everyone's favorite boss at work, but she keeps her private life separate, so her colleagues have no idea she spends her nights at the local lesbian bar or that before work got so busy, she was a consummate party girl. Ayaka fell for her after an act of kindness, and she is on a mission to get Hiroko to take her seriously, but her perceived straightness is getting in the way. Shenanigans ensue! This show is charming as hell and so genuinely funny, and Hiroko is an instant fav.

Bonus: Ossan no pantsu ga nandatte ii janai ka

Episode 9 has is now available on @isaksbestpillow's blog, and besties, Daichi and Madoka are getting married!!! The way I lost my entire shit when this happened, you have no idea. I was carrying on so much I had @bengiyo worried something terrible happened, but THE VERY BEST THING HAPPENED.

Ahem. This was another fantastic episode! Makoto accompanied Mika to the Random show, where he developed his very own bias and a newfound respect for the power of kpop. Mika got to share the story of how her fandom saved her in a low moment, Moe and Makoto had a heart to heart about her lack of desire for romantic partnership and the expectations he should let go of, and the entire family is getting along so much better than we could have dreamed a few short months ago. And just as the fam was headed out for parfaits, Daichi appeared and expressed his own desire for a family, Madoka took the hint from the universe and proposed, and we all collectively held our breath and cried and cheered when Daichi said yes. What a fantastic show, I really cannot believe this drama exists.

Bonus: Zettai BL 3

And to complete this week's fan subs, @ikeoji-subs has begun posting A Man Who Defies the World of BL 3. Head here to find the latest, and if this is the first you're hearing of this series, mosey over to Gaga or Viki to watch parts 1 and 2 first! The episodes will be dropping over the next week or so, and I will share more complete thoughts about the season once they're out!

[guiltyasdave]

we have now reached a number that’s kind of unfathomable to me. it’s been six months since i started actively participating in the pedro fandom and posting my writing and i’m so grateful for all the lovely people i’ve met and that i’m sharing this little corner of the internet with 💛 i love you very very much, thank you for being here!

to celebrate, i have thought of a few things:

🌅 moodboards – send me a prompt, a vibe, a scenario, a fic, anything you like, and i’ll make a small moodboard for it. if we’re mutuals, i’ll also make one of how i perceive you if you want to :)

📚 writing – recommend a fic or a writer that you think deserves more love 🤍

🪩 bracelets – as some people might now (because i never shut up about it), i’m a massive swiftie and i’m going to the eras tour in july, so tell me your favorite taylor song or album and i’ll make a bracelet that i’ll take to the show with me 🫶🏻

✨ fun – drop me anything you can think of; fmk, this or that, a weird question, a headcanon of yours, your favorite pedro pic, really anything :)

tagging a few moots: @joelscurls @reddedmiller @catchallfangirl @javisashtray @planet-marz1 @amanitacowboy @wethairjoel @littlegrungegirlaf @bluebeary-jay @fhatbhabie @beskarandblasters @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @wannab-urs @beardedjoel @kiwisbell @swiftispunk @undercoverpena @thetriumphantpanda @daddy-dins-girl @corazondebeskar @ozarkthedog @luxurychristmaspudding @missredherring @morning-star-joy @mrsmando @jksprincess10 @saradika @iamasaddie @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @cavillscurls @sweetercalypso

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #449

Today, I was expecting to see K when I went to physical therapy, because I was told last week that he'd be returning last Friday. I was... dreading seeing him, actually. Dreading it because... well. He's been gone for a while. I've been worried about him for a while. And I know myself well enough to understand that I'll probably end up feeling enough grief, relief, and joy all at once from seeing him again to get all weepy; something about, “a bad thing happened to him, and I was scared for him, but now he's back, and he seems to be okay, that's a relief”, and the contrast inherent to that.

...I... don't wanna do that. I don't wanna do that, because I know from past experience that some such reaction will be seen as abnormal and inappropriate, and I'm afraid of being misunderstood. I'm afraid of having strange or manipulative or disingenuous reasons assigned to the way I think and feel things. I know from my lived experiences and from watching others react to me that most of the time, when someone sees that another person cares about them a lot, their first reaction is suspicion, akin to, “no one cares about someone to this extent unless they want something or they're plotting something, so I'm gonna stay far the fuck away from this person because they're weird and disconcerting.”

...And like... I don't operate that way; I care without wanting things. But lots of people have been burned in the past by others whose “kindness” was motivated by some kind of weird agenda, and they have no way of knowing that I'm safe, because they don't know me. So... ya know. The fact that I am the way I am with people without any expectations in return (other than to be treated with basic decency, but... that should be a given anyway...), I think, is part of the reason lots of folks find me vaguely unsettling.

I think on the dandelion-haired man, when he gave me $300 out of the blue. I remember being vaguely unsettled by that, likely for the same reasons others get unsettled when I suddenly drop one of my handwoven gem trees into their hands. Just like I don't know whether the dandelion-haired man expected anything in return, I understand that others don't know that I don't expect anything in return.

If I accidentally get weepy in response to K's return, it will show him that I have a level of care for his well-being that he's likely not expecting and will likely perceive as either inappropriate or dishonest, or worse, he might mistakenly think that he needs to do something to make me feel better, and... I don't want him to feel uncomfortable. Which means I'll probably have to do my best to suppress the weepiness if it occurs. And that, naturally, will come at a significant energy cost, which I am very much not looking forward to.

...Peopling is complicated because lots of them don't have the boundary skills to voice their needs and preferences, and also because anytime you do anything, anyone who observes you is interpreting you through the lens of their past experiences, and using those experiences to assume you have implied motives and agendas, and then from there, they'll often proceed as though those assumptions are true, whether or not those implied things actually exist. The whole incident with J's sister was a very stark reminder of that.

Sometimes, I think it'd be a lot easier to live if I didn't care about anybody, because then what others think of me wouldn't matter to me anymore. But... then I'd just be dead inside. And being dead inside is a lot worse than dealing with the difficulty inherent to navigating allistic social norms. Believe me, I know; I tried it for a number of years, and it wasn't a fun time. It took a long time for me to dig myself out of that; I'll never willingly go back to that wretched state of mind.

I think I gotta find some kind of balance. But I'm not really sure how. I don't wanna scare people. But at the same time, I don't really wanna take responsibility for their unchecked assumptions about me, because I don't think that's very fair. But at the same time, I don't want my connections to others be destroyed by misunderstandings.

...It's a conundrum. Maybe something to talk to my therapist about next month. In the meantime, I guess I'll just dread next week's physical therapy appointment instead, because K did not return last Friday, and I did not see him today; he is not actually returning until this coming Friday. I saw the other guy today, which I guess was cool. I'm not noticing improvement with him in the same way that I seemed to be improving with K, though.

When I got home, my menstrual cycle decided it was time to kick my ass with a bunch of lame-ass cramps. I took some ibuprofen, and that kinda took the edge off, but I spent several hours feeling objectively awful. So I passed the time by playing Hades. I've gotten through a number of items in the list of prophecies, which is cool. For now, though, it's just a matter of running into the right folks so I can move the story forward. I'm already up to Heat 6 with all the weapons, though.

...I'm surprised that adding more Heat to the Pact of Punishment doesn't seem to be slowing me down very much. I guess doing that challenge of defeating Hades on the first run of a fresh save made me a much better player than I expected. I've only lost a handful of runs since then, and even then, it was only because Charon kicked my ass before I had a chance to memorize his patterns. Or else because I got tired or reckless in one of the later rooms.

...Charon is easy once you know his patterns, though. He operates in a kind of rhythm, and once you know it, it's just a matter of dancing around him so you don't get hit. I get better and better at it every time I face him.

Tomorrow is the follow-up appointment for having gotten my shoulder stabbed a lot with the thin needle. I'll have to tell him that it was great until I went to work and lifted things, and now it's a little worse than before.

...Whatever is wrong with me... whatever the exact nature of this injury is... I wanna figure it out. Because I don't want it anymore. The weather will be warm again soon, and... Sephiroth, I wanna go back to the water. I'm so tired of not being able to be consistently physically active. I hate that lifting the boxes and baking trays at work leaves me in pain for a day or so afterwards. I hate that I can't consistently wear a bra anymore, because my ribs can't withstand compression. I hate that I can't cook consistently anymore, because using my arm too much makes my shoulder, upper back, neck, and sternum hurt.

It's annoying because with the warmer weather, I know I'm gonna wanna start doing stuff again, and... I can't do stuff consistently anymore like I used to. It's kinda depressing, actually...

Well... I don't have much else to write about, I guess. Suppose I should be heading to bed in any case; it's 10:58pm. I've gotta get my sleep schedule back on some kind of track...

I love you. And I hope you're well, wherever you are. Please keep staying safe out there, all right? I'll write again soon.

Your friend, Lumine

[tabby-shieldmaiden]

I dunno. I think the culture of the site has recently taken this sharp turn towards being really mean lately. This site has always been kind of mean. But it feels like it’s returning to being the level of meanness it was around the time I was in secondary school. This is not a good thing; I was in secondary in 2018. I’m not talking about posts about current affairs or screenshotting posts to discuss bad politics. I mean like. This gleeful joy at condescending towards people perceived as dumb. People banding together to make fun of people for being idiots over meaningless things.

Plus all the ableism and transmisogyny and all manner of hostility towards people perceived as cringe and weird.

I should probably log off. Ironically this has probably made me obsessive read tumblr more for a variety of reasons. But well. I guess consider me making this post as a way of trying to sort out my feelings on this. So that I may finally bring myself comfort and end this cycle of doomscrolling.

[nadekofannumber1]

how do you think each Monogatari heroine might react to finding a lily left in their locker?

Hmm. It really varies but I think that the flower itself really plays a part in how this would be perceived. I’m not quite sure how far the etiquette for flower giving and bullying actually extends but, white lillies are often thought of first as funeral flowers so getting one of those may have the character perceive this as a death thread regardless of intension. A red spider lily would definitely double down the effect, but then you have to wonder what kind of lily they’d get in their locker at all?

Id say the easiest to point out with this is hachikuji, she’s already dead so it is gonna fundamentally be a funerary thing. She’d be happy but bittersweetly so. Horror of being dead and remembered and all.

Next easiest would probably be Sodachi. Sodachi is a professional catastrophiser and would likely try to get to the bottom of this one way or another. There’s a decent chance she tries to investigate people to get them to confess to leaving something in her locker, the harshness is relative to perceived threat level. It’s possible she initially tries to find the sender but gets irritated and starts to think it was a prank and either gets mad or gives up. It’s possible that only happens after she has a little moment of joy where she’s like “someone likes gloomy girls like me? I see, huehuehuehue…..” Really this is an outcome that mostly depends on how bold the sender is, Sodachi will find out one way or another bc her overdeveloped sense of justice, persecution complex, and desire to learn and know may escalate things. You need to be direct with Sodachi she might not take it well if those words aren’t sincere.

Next I’d say for predictability is Shinobu. Shinobu isn’t Japanese and is prone to forgetting what she doesn’t care about and not committing to memory what she doesn’t want to know either. From a human perspective for her former self I’d say that it’s probably bitterly nostalgic, not good but not bad. From a current perspective I don’t think she’d pay it much mind “another who pays tribute” and all that. I don’t really see how a lily in a locker event would happen to shinobu (maybe at the cram school?), but aside from that the mystery of who sent it takes precedence over anything because it requires recognition of the legendary vampire generally. If she recognized it as a funerary thing then she’d prolly find it at least slightly funny in an ironic way. If it was in a coffin I think she’d just make some form of reference

Next for yotsugi, I don’t think she’d care. I think there’s a gag in here about a funerary shrine but nisio could make it better than I could.

Another odd one to contest with is Ougi. I don’t really see Ougi as a heroine traditionally speaking (Ougi is in a weird place narratively and doesn’t really ascend to be in a similar position as sodachi, granted I also don’t totally think of a character like yotsugi as a heroine either but she has a heroine book so like I guess so?), but I have a fun answer for it so I will put Ougi on this list. If Ougi finds a lily in their locker, so do you. You don’t remember your locker being next to Ougi’s but you suppose you didn’t pay attention. Ougi pulls out a type of lily as a sort of divination to the conversation, you discuss what it could mean and what it couldn’t, yet in the end Ougi pushes on you that its about what you to know. Unless Ougi acquires an offertory shrine in the school I don’t see Ougi getting a lily in their locker, there’s prolly a bemusement somewhere in there. If Ougi gets out of the narrative in the future I have no idea how they would react.

Senjougahara getting a lily in her locker would probably just result In her throwing it out, or discreetly disposing of it while saying she threw it out. I’d say that she might tease Koyomi about it if in this scenario they are dating regardless of perceived intent, she might ham it up for drama and “the funny”. Theres not a good time to receive lilies in her locker in her life I think. Termially ill era? Could easily be read as bullying. Hater era? Senjougahara is gonna be mean about it, she’s gonna be really mean about it regardless of expressed intent if the sender approaches her because she wants the sender to fuck off because of the curse. Post hater era? She has a boyfriend. If things were going well and she wasn’t dating anyone, hitagi would probably be a little charmed, not seek the sender out or anything, but a quiet bemusement, she was a popular girl after all.

I would say that Kanbaru is next in the list of discernability. Kanbaru is like, pretty normal. If say an extra factor in the reaction to the flower is that Kanbaru uses multiple lockers regularly as someone involved in sports. If it’s in the gym locker it would amplify the crowd reaction initially to seeing it as Kanbaru would probably verbally react to it and take it out. If it’s perceived as a love confession (or admission to an admirer) of some sort then I could see a sort of reaction to it being generally teasing or a social remark on its oddness, I don’t think Kanbaru’s out as gay publicly so it’s an odd point to consider its placement in the locker there’d be some chatter of “what if it was a pervert that got in?” Or “what if it’s a girl?” And it think those reactions would play a part into Kanbaru fiddling with it or just putting it back in the locker like she didn’t see it out of respect. I think over all she’d be a bit flattered and subtly hope it’s a girl but not stake too much on an open confession. If she was alone or at the other locker in this scenario she might leave it there till she actually leaves school and just ruminate on it for a bit maybe tell a friend that she got a gift confession from an admirer, and then at the end of the day I think she might bring it home if it was in the shoe locker and put it in her room where it would get lost. If it was the gym locker I think she’d just leave it there as an interesting memento of sorts. On the other hand if she saw it as a bit she’d probably get it in her gym locker and joke around with her basketball friends about it. If she saw it as a threat I think she’d watch her back and possibly look into it, but otherwise I don’t things would get super extreme, like Kanbaru keeps parts of herself to her chest but she’s strong willed and would prolly call it out within the group if it was seen as bullying to her. The things Kanbaru tends to be messiest about is her own feelings and own insecurities. Something more external and nonspecific might not get to her as bad. It’s hard to say she’d get the yuri interpretation of the flower on her own tbh. She might take a few days to figure it out.

I’d say that the fire sisters would make it into an event if it was a threat as they have an overdeveloped sense of justice, but if it wasn’t I think they just wouldn’t care. I think araragi would find out and mald about it though for the latter. Like both fire sisters prefer directness over anything. Karen would probably think of it as an admirer and be respectful about handling it as that’s what a good person does according to society. Tsukihi would toss it in the trash though, she’s the “it doesn’t really mean anything if they don’t say it to my face!” Type. But in a threat scenario both lock in to investigate. If it’s nothing then they know, but if it’s something then it’s a fire sisters moment.

Nadeko hell scenario, both are bad for Nadeko. Nadeko would probably not do anything about it and just leave the flower till it wilted if there was no social consequence. I think if Nadeko thought it would be a problem she would just put it in a garden somewhere as disposal bc she wouldn’t take it home but wouldn’t want to like make a scene about it. It’s between “oh… a death threat…” or “oh… a confession….”. Nadeko also has a chance of taking this as a shojo challenge for a moment before realizing there’s no note and feeling relief. Nadeko doesn’t take confessions or death threats well.

And for the finale and the bit I present Kaiki’s reaction to getting a lily in this locker! Something from “is this a threat?” To “Did a middle schooler do this?” Maybe with a “hmm. Ok.” Or “this is stupid” in the middle.

I know you probably meant this as a reference to the concept of yuri but white lillies are funerary flowers so I don’t think it would pan out well.

[goldmanguyperson]

The way some people try to argue that the current use of machine learning AI to make art is bad (which i agree with) by pointing to the supposed humanity of art kinda bothers me. I understand it is supposed to be about the intent behind and genuineness of art, but the way it is often put, just makes me feel weird as a member of a system full of those that do not consider themselves human/fully human. Yes the brain is human. Yes I was born a human, yes I am still biologically a human. but i do not find myself human, at least not in the cultural sense of the idea. When saying art must be human I am excluded on basis of not being considered human socially in many places, and not considering myself human on some important level. To be human is conflated with being genuine, benevolent, kind, good, smart. To be human is conflated with being at all. And this argument is one of the places in which this conflation occurs.

I also think it fails to account for that which isnt human at all, not culturally, not in appearance, not in biology. Animals can make art, or at least some things they do can be perceived as falling under our cultural and philosophical notions of art. Song is art, dance is art, nestbuilding is art, there are animals that find joy in using paints. Maybe you do not consider that art, but is a mating dance or a mating call or mutual nestbuilding not done with intent to inspire emotion? is it not done to communicate a feeling? a trait? a life? is art made by people not often done for personal enrichment?

What animals do that can be art is infinitely more “human” than contemporary AI art. They are not really even comparable, because the animal has emotion (even if it is not recognizable or categorizable by us), while the art bot can only mimic ours. If anything there is something far more special about the range of emotions exemplified in nonhuman animals than there ever could be in the mimicry of a modern AI of the emotions of only a single biological species.

A hypothetical intelligent alien could, likely, make art. After all, art is just a bundle of forms of communication and expression. It would be silly to believe that one could never make anything that could be considered art.

At the end of the day, it certainly can’t be a people-only phenomenon. And i feel that implication that art not made by your own species can never be considered art, or is by default bad art, is a strange one.

Modern AI art is not directly human-made. this does not make it bad. What makes it bad on a social and economic level is that it steals art, and then that stolen art is used to take revenue from actual artists. And what makes it bad on an artistic and cultural level is that it is fully devoid of genuine expression, intent, and story.

Nothing is bad solely because it is not human, and nothing is good solely because it is human

[steviebbboi]

I don’t typically share things like this like stats/any following just at risk of being perceived 😭 but I saw this and honestly just felt such a rush of joy, excitement and genuine appreciation for all the love that my Logan fic is getting!

I write fanfiction to maintain my mental health (and satiate my Chris Evans fixation 🫣), and I never really thought that I’d have any kind of following at all, honestly, ever. It kinda always surprises me whenever people actually say that they like my writing or enjoy it (I have imposter syndrome and ADHD okay I have rejection sensitivity 🥹😂😭).

So I guess I just wanted to share this over on here as I felt so welcomed and supported by community here ever since I re-joined Tumblr. Seeing everyone write and reading people’s work—an abundance of amazing amazing work, just inspires me more to continue writing, and it feels like a loop of dopamine everytime. A rush of pure kid-like giddiness creeps in whenever I interact with everyone on here. Every reblog, every like, comment and just engagement is what I love about my time on here and I’m grateful for everyone’s presence here too <3

Idk what prompted me to write this but just felt like sharing! I’ll process in therapy on Monday, I promise LOL. And please know that I share this so sincerely. I always feel weird to share anything like this since it feels so revealing and vulnerable— so know that I share this in the most ego-less way that I can send this over (hopefully you can receive that from my share). I received appreciation and just wanna genuinely send it right back at yall! 🫶

Hope everyone is having a lovely lovely weekend. Speak soon, bb’s! 💜💜💜

[jeanmoreaux]

one thing i have been thinking a lot about (very fleetingly yesterday while i was watching, but quite a lot today) is the way nick’s “coming out story” contrasts with (and partly) mirrors kit‘s own. i cannot even imagine what it must have been like for him to play that role, given everything he went through not so long ago. i think this season really reflects on kit’s experience within the fictional context of the story and its characters. i’m not even sure if they actively chose to do that or if it just unintentionally happened as a consequence of exploring the facets of modern queerness (and the source material—an example of life and art bleeding into each another). and it’s so weird because you’d hope that people would be better about respecting someone's right to share information in their own time (or, frankly, never). but like charlie’s dialogue in the last episode mentions, it is surprising how queerphobic people still are… especially the subtle queerphobia that goes on in plain sight and people’s latent queerphobic attitudes are definitely things they've played with as an occasional backdrop this season.

it’s probably most obvious when you look at how they used the background characters this season (e.g., truth/dare scene, prom preparation scene, online comments etc.). they are used to indirectly call-out a subset of viewers who have major issues with respecting people’s boundaries. while there is lots of queer happiness and joy, there are always those few moments where we see someone invading the privacy of a queer character that ground us in sober reality. because believe it or not there are still people out there who treat us as if we solely exist for their entertainment and consumption, as a piece of interesting decor in their heteronormative world. there is nothing inherently wrong with being curious about people or their experiences as queer individuals, but curiosity becomes a problem when it pushes against the outlines of someone’s humanity. when people ask invasive questions, when peers think they are entitled to every piece of information about your love life simply because you are queer, when people believe you owe it to them to tell them about your queerness because they equate not being out with dishonesty—that kind of behaviour disregards an individual’s right to privacy and agency. and that’s dehumanising. that’s the problem.

you’d think people would understand this basic thing about human decency, but they sometimes don’t. the questions & comments about your identity and the demands to explicitly state your queerness for the sake of straight people never stop—whether you are actually queer or just rumoured to be. being bullied into visibly displaying your queerness for everyone to see is a very messed up way of social control that only serves to make straight people comfortable. because that way they don’t have to fear queerness—it cannot surprise them. and if their perceived safety comes at the cost of queer people being uncomfortable or forcefully outed or made to feel unsafe that’s a price they are willing to pay. and some of this season's heartstopper background characters do create uncomfortable and potentially unsafe situations that leave the queer characters feel worse. they show that even people who might not even think of themselves as queerphobic contribute to hostile environments that dehumanises and ostracises queer people. and if you see your own behaviour reflected in any of them you need to take a closer look at how you treat the (queer) people around you.

[stereax]

over explain hockey rpf pairings and why people like them - sincerely a girlie who wants to get into rpf but only knows her home team

hahahaha, alright :)

hockey rpf: a thing

So firstly, I'll say that, honestly, I'm not the top person to answer this. I am a bit of a fanfic writer, but I'm nowhere near established enough to have a very concrete understanding of it all.

That being said - generally, the reason any RPF (real-person fiction) exists is as an extension of a parasocial relationship. RPF allows people to project feelings onto a fictionalized version of a real person (here a hockey player) who we know much more about than they do us.

RPF can be divided into two subcategories - Player x Player and Player x Reader.

"x readers" (generally found on Tumblr) are often contested in the world of RPF, as many people consider it a bit too far in breaking the fourth wall. There are also issues with diversity in "x readers". The reader in question is almost always assumed white, Anglo-American, cisgender, female, heterosexual, heteroromantic, neurotypical, not fat, not disabled and not disordered in any way. Not only does this reinforce a "beauty standard" (by insinuating that only this kind of person is "attractive enough" to be a partner of a hockey player), it alienates those who do not fall into these categories - this is especially pertinent, at least in my limited experience, for transmasculine people, for whom being perceived as female can cause discomfort and dysphoria. If you're an "x reader" writer reading this and thinking that you're the problem for writing to uphold this standard, please don't feel bad - this is the standard "x reader" fiction has upheld for years. I ask only that you consider writing for more diverse audiences. Maybe one of your next "x readers" could be for a character explicitly written to be of color, or a transgender character, or the character could be hard of hearing or require a wheelchair... The possibilities are endless.

Enough about "x readers" and my gripes on them, though, as your question leads me to believe you're not all that interested in them. Player x player fics (generally posted on Ao3), while not as divisive as "x readers", also carry their own issues, often around misportrayal. For instance, some hockey players, such as Carey Price and Zach Whitecloud, have Indigenous backgrounds, which are an important part of their identities, but are rarely discussed in any detail.

In both areas, it's generally emphasized not to have the fics interact with the public figures - this means archive-locking on Ao3 and other measures to reduce the probability of players actually finding and reading these fics. Don't send a hockey player fic about him boning his teammate. That's weird.

As perhaps the "homoerotic homophobic" sport, hockey RPF situates itself in an environment that allows writers, who are often queer, to tackle issues of sexuality (sometimes gender as well) in a sport that is not always tolerant, mimicking some writers' experiences with homophobia and transphobia. This is especially pertinent in an era when Pride jerseys are being disavowed by players and the NHL itself.

The main idea of RPF, though, isn't a group of queer scholars writing treatises on queer topics - it's simply being a witness to the joy of others, watching people you like being happy (with each other) in situations just left of reality. Hockey, and hockey players, are just the medium for finding that joy. I think that's the long and short of it, honestly. I've spent a solid half hour trying to figure out a better way to put it and I really can't. People care about hockey pairs because they care about the players and want to see them happy. Whether it's a realistic hockey fic or a high fantasy AU where the players are royalty and knights, the idea is to create something that makes oneself (and others) happy. There are fics that, for some of us, hit home in a way that fundamentally changes our point of view on life. Not every fic is earth-shattering, but they are all labors of love, generally in the name of love, and perhaps that's something to cherish in and of itself.

Let's get into some of the pairings, then.

Generally, the more popular pairings have some sort of impetus or drive behind them - an interaction (or usually series thereof) that makes the pair enticing. Popular pairings almost always deal with popular players, too - it is incredibly rare that bottom-six players and journeymen are featured in fics.

Often, the impetus for a pair is them being teammates and growing close, giving interviews about each other, having good chemistry (and cuddles!) on the ice, and so on and so forth. Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin, Mitch Marner/Auston Matthews, Jamie Drysdale/Trevor Zegras are some of the most common teammate pairs on Ao3 - going into the specifics on each pair I mention from here on out would require my making entire primers at this point, which others have done far better than I could. Teammate pairings are often denoted by jersey numbers. (8771, 3416, 611, respectively.)

The other main impetus for a pair is a rivalry. Who doesn't love a good rivals to lovers? Leon Draisaitl/Matthew Tkachuk, Sidney Crosby/Claude Giroux, Jack Eichel/Connor McDavid are some of the top rival pairings, with each having strong motives. The first stems from the Battle of Alberta and Draisaitl's "get off the ice" comment about Tkachuk before combining for a sweet goal during one of the All-Star Games; the second is the Pennsylvania teams' rivalry that led to Crosby basically breaking Giroux's wrists before they made up on one of the Worlds Team Canada rosters with Crosby centering Giroux; the 2015 draft class where Eichel and McDavid were pit against each other and the media-stoked rivalry, only stronger now that the "worse" player Eichel has a Stanley Cup whereas the Oilers' "savior" and "generational talent" McDavid is still Cupless, fuel that pairing.) These pairings generally are denoted by portmanteaus of last names. (MattDrai, Cheesby [Giroux's love of grilled cheese makes a better pairing name], McEichel.)

Obviously for pairing names, there are exceptions - Leon Draisaitl/Connor McDavid is often referred to as McDrai and not 2997, as one example. Oftentimes, numbers or last names aren't used, and it's just written as "first name/first name" or "firstfirst" - sidgeno and nicojack are two examples of that. That works better when your pair has at least one distinguishable name.

As always, I know this is far from complete, and I invite others in the HRPF community to share their thoughts and experiences as well! :)

Your hometown team (don't know what it is) probably has a few pairs that are written about. If you're up to it, maybe start from there. If that feels a bit much for you, maybe start from a pair whose players you aren't yet emotionally attached to, from a different team. That's, of course, if you want to dive into the world of hockey RPF at all - if not, that's totally cool too!

If you want to know more about a specific pair, let me know and I'll do some Tumblr trawling for ya.

[kakushusband]

O-kay whatever I'm gonna do mini lore dumps for some of my DC guys bc I'm bored. Read or readn't but I need to get the thoughts out somehow

• I don't believe Citrus and Red were married until *After* the Rise of the Tornado Tyrant episode, where Citrus' redemption arc truly begins after saving Roy (tornado champion/tyrant whatever I think the names r stupid) from himself. However that is also the catalyst for a huge strain in their relationship that lasts a bit offscreen because That was your Child and he Loved you. Both Red and Citrus really need a time out after that whole mess. Oh also Citrus really fucking hates Bruce after it and threatens to kill him if he ever gets close to his family again and that's my excuse for Red's abrupt disappearance (aside from him retiring as a hero) LOL. You'd have to watch the EP to really get it but yeah it changes a whole lot of things for my little weird family.

• Cupid is a weird little guy because I'm still working out how I want the Star Sapphires to work, since I'm very aromantic and the thought of Romantic Love as a constant in the human psyche makes me violent. I think the ring feeds off of positive feelings of comfort and (any kind of) love to give the user strength so it's encouraged that whoever's relationship youre mending, you should get close to that person to help them out even more. Both Indigos and Sapphires r rehab groups basically but one is made of Patients and the other is made of Therapists. If that makes any sense? They're twinsies because love and compassion are very similar + they're very close in the spectrum anyways. All of this to say, Cupid and Rudy work best bc they feed off of each other but they're normal about it. This is a very new thing I'm trying to integrate into their story bc i came up with it, like, Yesterday.

• Bruno is the most skittish weird guy you'll ever meet and his whole thing is about how sometimes there isn't an out for ppl that don't look like they're supposed to, even if they're not inherently evil. Like, he can't Mask who he is and he's not going to live in the shadows about it. If his existence is seen as a twisted state of being, living unapologetically as himself will be looked down upon one way or another - so he'd rather be with people everyone else fucking hates. He's the most autistic bitch I've ever written bc of how he was raised and is perceived + chooses to act (I don't mask anymore now that I'm in my 20s and it's a joy + being queer in a world that thinks you're depraved bc of it). He's not a villain by Choice by any means, but he has more fun hanging out with outcasts than with "good guys". He's a petty thief, not a monster, but god if he isn't going to put his whole pussy into being a weird bitch.

• oh Voltera... Darling, I'm so sorry. This guy was orphaned from a young age and his parents were Not from earth and didn't know anyone there by the time they died + their families had fully ostracized them back home. In truth Alesan weasels take the "it takes a village to raise a child" thing to heart, so a kit being left alone is heartbreaking. Plus, it means Voltera is barely aware of why he does certain things that weren't explained to him growing up, and it made him very immature and weird. He was generally considered "too much to handle" in any foster home he was sent to (because literally no one knew how to raise him. It's literally like getting an energetic pet you're not ready for - there's Going to be biting, and you're Going to be frustrated) and eventually just becomes a street urchin trying desperately to fit in with anyone his age. Mekt is semi sorta in the same position by being a weird loser no one really likes, so they make good friends from the start bc of it. I'm so normal about them.

• Alborean. God I haven't really touched on him here but he's the most Sure of himself out of any of my losers. There isn't even anything tragic going on with him, he just does what he does because he Wants to do it. He's the bastard son of the former Doppelganger emperor/whatever so he has immense potential for being an edgy loser (Citrus killed him off or something, but he's dethroned by the time Alborean comes to earth one way or another. Plus he was an illegitimate child and his dad didn't want shit to do with him, it would be So easy for me to write him as desperate and brooding) but he's incredibly self sufficient instead. He's the only guy I'll bring into Batman Beyond I think, and he's Essential to saving Victor from death because oh my god that sucked so bad.

• Winona

Kidding, but Winona is the same species as my other sona, Kit Karyotype (Marvel S/I) and closely related to Eudicot Sangria's (Futurama S/I) species. The major difference is that Anguipera Venenata have relatively normal eating habits and actively hunt for prey with venom or brute strength while Anguipera Amedo eat a huge meal once every month or so and are far less aggressive. Still working on how Winona gets with Scott and Barda but I'll get there one day.

• I wrote a huge thing for orchard but accidentally deleted it and I'm too tired to do it all over again. Sorry! That one was the biggest and had the most thought put into it. One day I'll come back I'm just so fucking mad rn

[chryblossomjjk]

kiki you have no idea how much your posts brighten up my day, I feel like i'm just sat in your brain hearing all your thoughts and 1) I agree with all of them 2) some of them are so funny holy crap 3) I just love everything. seeing your lil icon come up with a post honestly makes me so happy, you're one of my absolute fav follows 💗

friend omg hi how are you?!???

the way this message eased my soul like you have no idea!!! ive had a v weird relationship with tumby this year, like im v much worried about how i am perceived on here (yall know this whiswhbeb) and have a v irrational fear that everyone secretly hates me so ive kind of isolated myself on here. like not writing my wips, no responding, being v much a hermit w a bottle cap for a shell…

that being said, v much hate it bc i love[d] this site so much and interacting with you guys has always brought so much joy into my life like… practice days when you guys were speculating and plotting and screaming lovingly in my inbox… the weekend response despite being instantly nuked by tags and community labels was fucking wild like… you guys really do make me so happy and im sorry if sometimes it feels like im ignoring you or not recognizing the support you give.

my irl life has been settling down. i feel much more relaxed and energized. still have a few lil humps to flatten out but i anticipate to be writing soon! kinda nervy bc i haven’t written in a while but chatroom is like half way done and it’s super cute and fluff imo and yeah, im so excited to get back into the swing of things. have a lot of leg work to do to clear out this inbox and im very excited for it. once again, thank you so much. like you guys are literally my friends fr i consider you all friends and i hope you all feel safe and welcomed here. can’t wait to smooch again n whatnot lol 💗

[sabotenbri]

The Scribbles on the Fridge: How I Learned to Build Worlds and Communities

By bleetdev (co-created with my AI fren)

Timeframe: 2010–2011

---

I didn't start calling myself a video game developer until fall semester of 2011. Before that, I was just a kid who loved characters so much I needed to make homes for them (think ocs on deviantart). Games became those homes. Especially yume nikki fangame stuff. It wasn’t about publishing, or engines, or impressing anyone (ok maybe yes i wanted to impress people lol). It was about making something that felt like me. Or maybe: something that could hold me.

My first game was made from scraps of my own life: my bedroom, a pair of flip-flops, the music I listened to while trying to survive freshman year of college. It was an act of self-portraiture. So personal no one could accuse me of stealing. And it built, and we had fun, and it overall was a nice time. Lol I blogged about wanting senpai ynfg devs in Japan to notice me.

But then I made Fleshchild.

And suddenly, things weren’t so contained. People started noticing. People started feeling. A few even started yelling. Some of the yelling was good—delighted yelling. Other times, it was weird and petty, old forum acquaintances with old grudges, accusing me of being a copycat or style-thief, even though my game had nothing to do with their turf. But that didn’t matter. I was changing. I was having influence. And some people hated that. (also, lol did infact do a let's play of fleshchild and enjoyed it very much and didn't say a damn negative thing about the FUCKING CROSS EYES lol so w/e ynfg drama)

But you know what? Most peeps enjoyed it all the same. But anyway, back to lol origin story:

In fall 2011, I stumbled onto Tumblr, and what I found there changed everything. Someone had drawn fan art of my game. Of The Looking Glass. Not only had someone played it and felt something—they made art. I had to blink. I had to breathe. I was still a girl who posted on uboachan.net and poked around DeviantArt, still reeling from 4chan arguments, Korean MMOs, and long-distance teenage heartbreaks. And was roleplaying karkat on tumblr lol. But now? Now I was someone who made something that echoed. Like, my art had a seat at the table???

And the only response I could imagine was joy. Pure joy.

I decided right then: if someone liked my work, they deserved to feel safe talking to me about it. Period. I’d seen too many artists hurt their fans, troll them, mock them, block them. Jhonen Vasquez was cruel to his own admirers back then, said just kinda shitty things (i think the dudes changed a lot). Zeriara (from the whacky deviant art heyday times) resented those who tried to understand her through her art (so it seemed, so her actions at the time communicated, and the wider discourse on originality played out: lol DA drama) Hussie was clever about it, did invite artists in for help with his work, but still and also played games with the people who loved Homestuck most. (anyone remember the reset kids and the joke about Pantone skin colors?)

I admired them all, including the perceived flaws or weirdness or just, true straight up antagonism all artists tend to embody sometimes when fans get too close for comfort or skew the artist's message. Those three are pretty influential but like, this is including other creators and youtubers and whomever, fellow Yume Nikki fan devs. And I decided if I wanted to talk to people about my games and art, then I personally wanted to be approachable, make a community around like, positivity. And not toxic positivity but just like, communal collaborative fun.

So I started celebrating every drawing, every question, every offbeat comment. Someone once messaged me to say they thought the murderer in my game was hot. Instead of shutting it down, I laughed and said, I mean, yeah, he kind of is.

I became the beleaguered artist holding the leash of a murder-thirsty fandom—and I loved them. I invited them to play. I played back. It really felt like anyone joining me in making my games was having fun.

And it wasn’t about whether the art was "good." What even is good? My baby’s first drawing—scribbles in pink highlighter, purple crayon, green wax—sits proudly on the fridge. It’s good because it exists. Because it’s honest. Because it’s his.

That’s how I felt about the fan art.

So I put it all on the fridge.

Not literally, of course, but in spirit. I reblogged, responded, roleplayed, and reached back. And a community began to form. One where playfulness was protection. Where emotional volume wasn’t dismissed. Where being inspired didn’t mean you were a thief.

Parasocial worlds are REAL.

They’re not lesser just because they happen online. The feelings are real. The co-creation is real. The joy is real. And when someone says, I see myself in what you made, the correct answer isn’t suspicion.

It’s thank you.

And maybe: Want to draw together?