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nanagoswife · 4 years ago

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Noticing You, Noticing Me

Chapter Two

Summary: When Obi-Wan arrives, he's upset that you weren't there at the start. Yet he has high hopes that he'll be able to see you at the ball.

W/C: 2.4k

Warnings: Terrible editing

A/N: A huge thank you to @where-fantasy-meets-reality for helping me flesh out some ideas. Especially when it comes to outfits in this chapter. Hope you all enjoy😊

- - -

Anakin took some convincing, but he eventually stopped trying to get you to join the welcome party. No matter how hard he tried he knew that the kingdom’s people were your main priority. Not only that, but he knew how long you’ve had this engagement.

Now you were walking beside your brother, Varlo, exchanging a few teasing remarks about Anakin as you walked down one of the halls.

“Was it just me, or was Anakin completely distracted when Padmé was witnessing your conversation?” Varlo started with.

You chuckled, “You should’ve seen him when she came in this morning. He was basically drooling over her before I reminded him of his appointment with Ahsoka and some of the knights.”

Varlo laughed, struggling to get his next sentence out, “I wouldn’t be surprised if he was late again.”

“Oh, he was. Not by much this time, but he was. I’m sad to have missed the scolding Sir Fisto probably gave him.”

The two of you continued to laugh as you made your way further down the hall.

One week later

Cody seemed to be more excited about arriving at your castle than he was. Then, Obi-Wan remembered something.

“Cody, don’t you have a brother that lives here?”

With a smile, he nodded. “Three, actually. With them, that makes me the oldest of six brothers. I’m surprised Waxer and Boil chose to stay behind.”

Obi-Wan shrugged before turning his attention to his father beside him.

“Do you know King Organa well?”

“I know him a bit, yes. I’ve met his sons, but I have yet to meet his daughter. The amazing things I hear she does for the people of her kingdom intrigues me.”

Obi-Wan nodded as he thought about it. With you brothers on the political and fighting front, you’ve been making actual change. He had found out about how you’ll set up food stations for the poor, how you help out villages in any way you can. It all intrigued him just like it did his father.

Soon he would find out as they were now a few minutes away from the castle. Obi-Wan found himself most excited to meet you. He wanted to put a face to the name.

Although he was sure that you’ve had a portrait painted, he wanted to find out in person. Paintings never actually did anyone justice in his opinion.

Once they arrived and Obi-Wan stepped off of the carriage, the only woman he saw was very obviously courted to one of King Organa’s sons. Everyone else was either guards or what he assumed were lords.

“Bail, nice to see you again,” Qui-Gon said, shaking King Organa’s hand with a firm grip.

“And you, Qui-Gon.”

Then, Obi-Wan was taken by surprise as his father pulled the other man in for a hug. He couldn’t help but think that the two were closer than his father let on.

“Why, haven’t you grown up Anakin. And you, Varlo. I can’t believe you’re no longer just a little boy,” Qui-Gon said, ruffling the hair of Varlo. Varlo couldn’t help but chuckle at the praise of Obi-Wan’s father.

After he was done, he introduced Obi-Wan. This was the first time he accompanied his father here. The last time his father had come to your kingdom, he was still young and he decided to stay behind. Although it was to stay with his mother, it was also so that he could continue studying.

“Bail, I thought you said your daughter would be here.”

King Organa smirked a little sheepishly but held a proud glint in his eyes. “She had a previous engagement with helping our village, Naboo, set up for a festival. I have no doubt she’s doing more for them than just setting up, though.”

A fond smile replaced the smirk on the King’s face.

Qui-Gon nodded. “You’ve told me extraordinary things about her. I’m glad she’s doing even more good.”

The two shared a smile. This interaction was baffling Obi-Wan. He knew his father got along with many, but not like this. This was a closeness that he had hardly ever witnessed in his life.

“Please,” King Organa started after a moment, “come in and get settled. We’ll be able to talk more over dinner this evening.”

“Thank you, my friend,” Qui-Gon said before motioning Obi-Wan and Cody to follow him.

Obi-Wan seemed to be the only one who didn’t have friends in this kingdom as he saw Cody share a smile with three other men that were very obviously his brothers. They nearly all looked identical.

Who knows, he may leave with some new friends. He didn’t know why, but he felt drawn to Anakin. Something about Anakin interested him though they hadn’t spoken a single word to the other.

Maybe he’ll leave being friends with you.

Obi-Wan was disappointed that you weren’t at dinner that night. Though, he wasn’t upset about it knowing what you were up to. All of the next day, he hadn’t seen you either. He did, however, talk with Anakin a few times and he was right. He got along well with your eldest brother.

He was hopeful for tonight. Obi-Wan and his father’s party were one of the last groups to arrive. Meaning tonight would be the ball that King Organa was holding. This meant that he would most likely meet you tonight.

It had him feeling giddy almost all day. It only started to intensify the closer the time came for it to start. Both Cody and his father clearly noticed, but they only shared knowing looks without saying anything. Cody must have either told his father of his interest or maybe he found out by the questions he was asking. Either way, even his father knew.

All that needed to be done was get ready.

You were buzzing in excitement for the ball. Even Padmé shared the feeling, though, a little toned down from you.

The thought of being around all of the people, the music, the food, it all made you smile. These were always days you looked forward to.

“Are you hoping to meet Prince Kenobi?” Padmé said suddenly, breaking you out of your thoughts as you brushed your hair. Confusion came over you.

“I never thought of it. Why?”

Your friend shrugged. “Anakin and I noticed that he seemed quite disappointed that you weren’t part of the welcoming party. Your brother also has talked with him quite a bit and says that the prince seems to be quite fascinated by you.”

Scoffing, you rolled your eyes as you turned to look in the mirror. All that needed to be done now was your hair. That was Padmé’s job tonight.

“You don’t believe it?” she asked as she stepped up behind you.

“Of course not. When has anyone shown interest in me?”

You met her gaze in the mirror. She kept her mouth shut as she knew the answer.

“Exactly. So why start now?”

Before anything else could be said, a knock rang through the room. Padmé went to answer it and you were greeted by your two brothers exchanging some friendly banter.

The two of them were dressed in their red jackets. They had gold trimming and a black band around the waist with a single lapel. Each had black pants that went along with it as their swords were each proudly worn at the waist. It was a sight you were used to and you loved how they always matched. You felt it made them look even more elegant than they already were.

It stopped when Anakin saw Padmé. Unlike you, she was already ready. Her brilliant yellow dress would catch anyone’s eye. The way it flowed and puffed out at the bottom was breathtaking. Not to mention the intricate details sown into the skirt.

Both you and Varlo shared a look as you both rolled your eyes. It had been how long and he was still acting like this with her. In the end, you both shared a smirk as Anakin greeted his future wife.

“What are you two doing here?” you finally broke the silence.

Varlo smirked as Anakin seemed startled by your words. It was a good thing that they didn’t need to hide their relationship because your brother would be horrible at keeping it a secret from anyone.

“What? Can we not see our little sister get ready for the ball?” Varlo said teasingly, causing you to chuckle.

“I never said you couldn’t. Let me guess Varlo, will you be my first dance?”

Anakin looked between the two of you with an amused smirk. “What if I get it first?”

Padmé cleared her throat, causing you to all look at her. Her own amused smile was spreading her lips as she worked on your hair and you all laughed.

After a few more minutes of conversation, Anakin and Varlo left to start greeting people. They were all about making good impressions during events like these. That, and your father would have their heads if they didn’t.

Now you sat in what you felt was the poofiest pale pink dress you’ve ever worn. Though, you were still sitting which didn’t help the feeling. You couldn’t help but think of how much you liked it. It brought a sense of confidence that you couldn’t quite explain.

“And… done,” Padmé said as she put the finishing touch to your hair.

When you stood and looked in the mirror, you were surprised. You hadn’t been this done up in so long, you forgot what you looked like. The white gloves that ran up just past your elbows added the perfect finishing touch to the night’s attire.

“Wait!”

Padmé’s sudden shout made you jump as you turned to her. She held a simple silver tiara. Your tiara. The one that showed your status.

“We can’t forget this.”

She motioned for you to turn around once again, coming up behind you to gently place the silver piece on your head.

“Gorgeous,” Padmé muttered as she took a few steps back, admiring your look. When you turned to face her, it almost seemed as if she was gonna cry. That is until she must’ve remembered that she couldn’t ruin her own look before the night even started.

“Right. Shall we head down?”

“Prince Kenobi!” Anakin exclaimed as Obi-Wan approached. With a smile, the two shook hands as Obi-Wan greeted Anakin a little more calmly. “How are you doing tonight?”

“All is well. I’m very intrigued to see what your father has been able to put together.”

Both Anakin and Varlo smiled at each other.

“Trust me,” Varlo started, “these events are always well put together. Especially when mother is involved.”

“Right,” Obi-Wan smirked before excusing himself to enter the ballroom. He couldn’t help but notice that the two brothers were very much correct. Everything was done so beautifully. There was hardly any indication of the fact that this event was only planned just over a week ago.

As the rest of the attendees filtered in, Obi-Wan watched the door. He was waiting in anticipation for your arrival. He was expecting some sort of announcement for when you and your family came in, but none came. The only announcements of arrival were Obi-Wan’s father and a few others.

Eventually, he turned his attention away from the door. Maybe you had already come in and he didn’t notice it. Or perhaps you were one of the few people he had missed. The only way to find out was to actually start being social.

When you had arrived, the party was already in full swing. Varlo met you at the door, offering his elbow as he escorted you over to where Anakin and Padmé were.

“You look lovely,” he said with a smirk.

“You don’t look too bad yourself, Varlo,” you said playfully. He chuckled before you arrived at your location.

It didn’t last long as Anakin and Padmé soon went to dance. Varlo stayed with you until an old friend of his appeared. This left you alone and you didn’t mind.

Even though you had only been there for half an hour, you wanted to get some fresh air before the night truly began. So, going to the second level, you went to one of your favourite balconies.

It was large and spacious with a beautifully carved railing. It was in the perfect spot to overlook the lake that lay beside the castle.

When you got there, you went straight to the railing, leaning your elbows on it as you took in a deep breath of the cool evening air. It wasn’t late enough for the sun to be completely set, so there was still a line of light on the horizon.

You were broken from your reverie as you heard footsteps behind you.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” a young man said as you turned around. “I got turned around and was having difficulties finding my way back.”

You couldn’t help but think of how handsome he looked during his short ramble. The neat auburn hair that gently transferred into the groomed beard. The piercing cerulean blue eyes that popped with what he was wearing.

His jacket was a royal blue, the trim was white and that white was lined by a thin stripe of gold. The golden buttons holding down his lapels glinted in the dying light and seemed to compliment everything else. His collar was white, intricate golden designs stitched in, just like his epaulettes. A white cape was clipped on at the collar and flowed beautifully. The pants, once again white, but with a thick stripe of blue that was also outlined with gold and tucked into a pair of shiny, black, knee high boots.

For a moment, you could have sworn that he was surveying you just like you were him. You didn’t dare ask, though. It would be too embarrassing to admit that you were and you were in no place to embarrass a guest.

“That’s alright. I was just about to head back in,” you said, taking a few steps forward before curtseying. “Y/N Organa, Princess of the Kingdom Alderaan.”

- - -

Hehe sorry

@stardancerluv @where-fantasy-meets-reality @jaydenwoo @madmax2003 @mackycat11 @generousrunawaydonut @imabeautifulbutterfly @animalgirl05 @blondekel77 @cosmicsierra

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street-smarts00 · 4 years ago

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I Hear a Symphony

Midoriya x fem!reader

Summary: Midoryia couldn’t tell the difference between romantic and platonic feelings. It took 4 conversations for him to realize how much you meant to him and how he had fallen completely and utterly in love with you.

⚠️ language

WC: 4,500

Eri was spending the day with class 1-a. You, Izuku and Eri were relaxing in the living room watching Disney movies. This time Eri wanted to watch her favorite, Frozen 2. The three of you were snuggled up on the couch together; you were seated to the right of Deku and Eri was to his left. He had both of his arms wrapped around the two of you.

“Hey izuku, what time is it?” you asked.

He picked up his phone, “4:25”

“Shit, I’m studying with Yaomomo and Tsu in five minutes,” you promptly stood up and grabbed your phone. “I gotta go, see ya later guys” you waved as you jogged to the elevator.

Eri and Deku stayed in the living room watching the movie. He was really glad that Eri took a liking to you. At first when Eri started to visit the 1-a dorm she was shy and mostly stayed with Deku, and sometimes Uraraka, Tsu, and Kirishima because they were familiar to her after the overhaul mission. But after a short while she started to open up and talk to his other classmates; especially you.

“Hey deku, what is a girlfriend?” Midoriya’s eyebrows raised, “Huh? What got you thinking about that?”

“Someone in lemillion’s class said they had a girlfriend.” Oh well that made a lot more sense.

“Well um a girlfriend, a girlfriend is,” he wasn’t sure how to explain it, he’s never had a girlfriend before. He also didn't want to explain it in a way that she would be confused or misinterpret what he said. He glanced up at the tv . . . Wait, that's it!

“I know, it’s like Anna and Kristoff. So you know how they fall in love and get married at the end of the movie?” He asked.

“Yea”

“Well before they get married they’re dating, and when a girl and a boy are dating they are boyfriend and girlfriend.”

“Oh ok, I think it get it,” she responded as she smiled. “So it’s like you and y/n?”

WHAT? Where would she get that idea? One minute ago she didn't even know what a girlfriend was. Midoryia’s cheeks turned a shade of pink and his voice cracked when he spoke. “Um not really, we aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend,” He replied as he shifted his weight in his seat.

“But you always kiss her, and Anna and Kristoff kiss,” She added as she pointed to the characters on the tv screen.

“I uh, well they kiss on the lips, y/n and I kiss on the forehead and cheek, and sometimes friends kiss each other on the forehead and cheek.”

“Ooooh, ok!” She turned her attention back to the screen and leaned into him as she grabbed onto the blanket.

FEW, he was beyond thankful that she seemed to drop that topic. Although, it did stick with him; was it normal for him and you to kiss each other? It’s not like you guys made out or anything, but fairly often you guys did greet each other with a kiss on the forehead or cheek. But you guys definitely kissed in a not romantic way though. Yea definitely not in a romantic way. Yea, definitely.

“Hey deku, is y/n a princess? You call her princess a lot.” Eri questioned.

Midoryias heartbeat sped up. “No she’s not a princess.” He replied calmly even though his brain and heart were going a mile a minute. But then again what did he have to be worried about, you two were just really close friends that happen to be very affectionate and call each other cute nicknames. He called you princess, and you called him pretty boy. It was just a fun game between friends. His pulse slowed as his train of thoughts centered around you. He’s called you by that nickname for a while. He doesn’t remember when or how he started to call you princess, but he sure as hell knew why. “But she’s a princess to me,” he added.

Eri turned to him, eyes widened with excitement, “Am I like a princess?”

“Yes Eri. You are like a princess.” Eri smiled with one of the brightest smiles he had ever seen.

A few days later Deku was meeting with All Might in their usual teacher lounge room. Although originally they were talking about one for all, the topic of conversation shifted to you.

“And it’s not so much that her quirk itself is super cool and powerful, but it’s how she uses it. She’s always so creative and has brilliant strategies.” Deku beamed.

“You sure do talk about her a lot.” All Might chuckled. He watched as Midoryia’s bond with you grew rapidly as school went on. He also noticed that his successor would bring her up a lot and would bubble with excitement at any chance to talk about her.

“She’s amazing! She’s super nice and always looks out for others. And I love how passionate she is about the things she loves like music, she absolutely loves music. OH and she’s an amazing fighter. She does this thing when she’s fighting like she always raises her left eyebrow, never the right one because she can’t. AND she . . .” Midoryia realized that he had been talking a lot. He pulled at the collar of his shirt. “I’m sorry, I’m rambling,”

“Don’t worry it’s ok, it’s cute listening to you talk about your girlfriend,”

What? Not this again. “Uh, y/n and I aren’t dating,” he squeaked. He coughed and cleared his throat so that hopefully his voice would go back to normal. Why was his heartbeat speeding up? He was so calm a second ago, why does it feel like his heart is about to fly out of his chest or like he’s going to pass out.

All Might could see the boy tense and his nervousness still lingering. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know,” He apologized frantically, waving his hands in surrender.

The boy seemed to calm down a bit but was still visibly tense and nervous “It’s ok, but um why would you think that?” Damn his voice was still squeaky, he cleared his throat again.

“Because the two of you are so close and during class you’re always together. Also because of the way you talk about her. Like, I don’t know you have this smile on your face that I only see when you look at her or talk about her.”

“Oh but I don’t think I treat her any differently than my other friends,” Midoryia added. He really didn't think he gave you any special attention. He was close with all of his friends and is just a super affectionate person. Whether it was hugs with Tsu or linking arms with Iida. But then again he didn’t kiss them on the forehead and cheek.

“It seems to me that she’s more than just a friend,” All Might implied. He saw the boy's face turn a dark shade of red. “Sorry, if I made you uncomfortable.”

“Huh? oh it’s ok don’t worry about it,” Midoriya stammered. He played with the fabric of his jacket sleeves. “But ya know you’re not the first person to think that we’re dating.”

“Really?” All Might tried to sound as surprised as he could.

“Yea the other day Eri asked me if y/n and I were boyfriend and girlfriend, like in the Disney movie we were watching.” Midoriya felt like he was experiencing 30 emotions all at once. He didn’t know what he was feeling or how he was supposed to feel.

The school bell rang and zoned him out of his thoughts that we’re running wild. He quickly said goodbye to All Might and ran to class. He couldn’t stop his mind from racing. Did he like you? Like in a crush type of way? He’s never liked anyone before so he isn’t sure.

Once he reached the class room he passed by your desk on the way to his.

“Hey pretty boy!” You beamed. When you saw his expression you were filled with concern. His face was red, eyes were wide and his eyes were darting all over the place but refused to land on you. “Hey are you ok? You look stressed.”

He finally placed his eyes on yours and took a deep breath. “Yea I’m good I’ve just got a lot on my mind and I’m trying to figure something out.” He stuttered.

You stood up from your seat, “ok, well if you need some help or maybe a hug, i'll always be here.” You leaned forward and pecked him on the cheek like it was normal, because it was. He couldn’t believe it, that this was his normal. The fact that the two of you casually kiss each other and so much apparently that when you do it in front of your classmates they don’t even bat an eye.

“Thanks,” he replied as he awkwardly walked over to his desk and sat down. He placed his arms on his desk and rested his head on his arms. Bakugou turned around and gazed at the kid that he’s known for most of his life. “You look like shit.”

Midoryia raised his one arm and gave a thumbs up, “Thanks Kachan, I really appreciate it,” he quipped. Bakugou grumbled and turned back to face the front of the room.

He was stuck. Figuratively and literally. Literally, he was stuck in his bed because he was unable to move. Figuratively, he was stuck with how he felt about you and what this means. Right after school ended he stayed in his room analyzing how he felt about you. He wasn’t 100% sure if he actually had feelings for you and at this point he’s worried that he is over thinking things. Which he probably is.

During all of his freaking out he received a text from you. Great 🙃. He unlocked his phone and opened your text.

Princess: hey, this song reminded me of you

He opened the song, I Hear a Symphony by Cody Fry. He’d never heard it before but he always loved your music recommendations. He pressed play and listened to the lyrics.

I used to hear a simple song

That was until you came along

Now in its place is something new

I hear it when I think of you

Huh, so now that he is in her life he changed her, but in a good way (or at least he’s hopping). He loved the melody and the way the song started off with piano. It was very calming to him.

As the song went on he continued to listen to the lyrics carefully. There weren’t that many lyrics so he was relaxing listening to the beautiful build up to the chorus. He felt like he was entering a fantasy listening to this song. It was graceful and peaceful, but also powerful and full of emotion.

I used to hear a simple song

That was until you came along

You took my broken melody

And now I have a symphony

He was frozen as the song finished. That remind you of him? He knew that you always pay attention to the lyrics and the meanings of songs, so this wasn’t just any old song. Did he really make that much of an impact on you? Listening to this song knowing that you thought of him made his heart ache. His stomachs filled with butterflies and his pulse slowed down from its former fast tempo.

Not long after, Uraraka and Todoroki stopped by his room. “Hey deku. Can we come in? I’m with todoroki.” Uraraka chimed.

He got up from his bed and fixed his hair after lying down for the past hour. He opened the door with a genuine smile, “Hey guys! Yea sure come in, what’s up?”

Uraraka sat down in his desk chair, “We wanted to check up on you to make sure you were ok. You were really quiet in class today and you’ve stayed up here all afternoon.” He really appreciated his friends and how much they cared about him.

“Yeah, I’m ok. I was just kinda um freaking out about something earlier and had to think things through. But now I’m not freaking out anymore, well maybe, it's just a lot to process.” Midoryia rambled.

“What's the problem?” Todoroki asked.

Midoryia scratched the back of his neck. “Umm can you guys promise not to tell anybody?”

“Of course”

“Promise”

Midoryia anxiously placed his hands in his pockets. He needed someone’s advice. “I think I might have feelings for y/n.” He babbled.

The two friends in his room had very little reactions, if any at all. This’d made no sense, he just confessed that he might have romantic feelings for their friend and they don’t react?

Todoroki was the first to speak, “I thought you knew that.”

“Todoroki!” Uraraka chimed in a scolding tone.

“What? What do you mean? I just figured this out today!” Midoryia stammered. He was beyond confused. “So wait a second, you guys knew that I like her and didn't say anything?”

“Not to be as blunt as Todoroki but, we thought you knew you liked her. It was kind of obvious. You guys practically act like a couple already.” Uraraka answered.

“Do you mean like the nicknames, and kissing?”

“It’s not just that, you guys always slip in physical contact when you’re together, you both are very flirty from time to time, and any chance you get you start rambling about how great she is.” She replied. Well then that makes sense why he was going on a whole tangent about her with All Might earlier.

Uraraka’s features softened, “You really didn’t know?” Midoryia grabbed a fistful of his curls in frustration. “NO! I didn’t, not at all! I thought that was all normal friends stuff ya know!” He explained anxiously.

“We’re friends and you’ve never kissed me,” Shoto added. Uraraka giggled in response.

Midoriya sat down on his bed and played with the material of his hoodie. “So what do I do now?” He asked.

Uraraka walked over to his bed and sat down beside him. “I’m not sure, but if you really like her, then I think you should tell her. I know this is all new to you so don’t freak out about confessing right now. But I’d say give it some thought.”

Midoriya sighed and gazed at the floor. He had so much to process right now. “Thanks you guys,” he said.

It had been about a week since Deku had his mind blowing chat with his two friends. He was lying on the couch in the common area. But it was completely empty because it was 1:30 in the morning. At first he stayed up late studying, but then around an hour ago he tried to go to bed but could only stare up at the ceiling.

He figured maybe he needed a drink or snack or SOMETHING. He grabbed his blanket and wrapped it around his body. He knew it was going to be cold downstairs since it was snowing outside and the heater turned down at his hour. He made his way downstairs, but when the elevator opened he was too tired to head to the kitchen and make tea so instead he just plopped down on the couch.

He stayed there for a little while thinking about you. His thoughts recently always traveled back to you. Ever since people kept asking if you guys were dating, he hasn’t stopped thinking about doing romantic things with you. He smiled at the idea of holding hands with you and rubbing your hand with his thumb. Or cuddling with you in one of your dorms and saying sweet nothings in your ear. Or going on cute dates with you, like ice skating in the park. Or putting his hand on the small of your back and pulling you into a kiss.

Midoriya was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard the elevator open. He couldn’t see who it was from his view on the couch. The steps grew louder and stopped when they reached the lounge area. “Why the hell are you down here?” He heard from a deep voice.

He sat up and looked over at Katsuki. He was rubbing his eyes and his voice was groggy, he must have just worked up. “You’re down here too ya know,” Midoriya replied.

“Tch, yea but I just woke up, you probably haven’t slept at all have you? Ya damn insomniac.”

“I’m not in the mood Kachan.”

Bakugou grew suspicious of Midoriya’s response and tone. Usually he would respond with a snarky reply or a rambly explanation. He also sounded physically and mentally exhausted. Bakugou walked closer to the boy wrapped in a blanket and poked him. “What’s wrong with you?” He asked in a calmer but still rough tone.

The green haired boy shrugged his shoulders in response. “Nothing.”

“Yea sure, you’re alone in the dark in the middle of the night, and I can tell something’s bothering you.” Bakugou poked him again, “Now talk.”

Midoriya sighed, “I told you it’s nothing.”

Bakugou shoved his hands in his pockets,

“Fine don’t tell me.” He started to walk in the direction of the kitchen; But he stopped in his tracks after what he heard next.

“I’m in love with y/n,” Midoriya Mumbled.

Bakugou turned to face his childhood friend, “huh?” Midoriya pulled at the fabric of his blanket. “I said I’m in love with y/n. And I don’t know what to do,” he replied louder.

Bakugou made his way back to the couch. “Tch what the hell do you mean you don’t know what to do, if you like her so much then just ask her out.” Midoriya covered his face with his hands and sighed. Kachan was the last person he would expect to have this conversation with.

“I would, but I don’t want to make things awkward if she doesn’t like me back. I’m worried it will ruin our friendship,” Deku confessed.

Rolling his eyes, Bakugou sat on the couch adjacent to the one deku was sitting on. “Listen ya damn nerd, you’ve gotta be an idiot to think she doesn’t like you back. She follows you around like a damn puppy, it’s gross.” He cringed at that last statement.

“It’s not gross, it’s sweet. She cares about others a lot,” Midoriya corrected.

“She sure cares a whole lot about you for some reason.” Bakugou stood up again and slowly made his way to the kitchen to retrieve a water bottle he had been meaning to get. Midoriya was silent, Bakugou took note of this. The nerd was probably lost in his own train of thoughts at this point.

“Deku.” Midoriya turned to him, his blanket falling off of his shoulders. “Just suck it up and tell her how you feel. And don’t act like an idiot and say she won’t like you back. You may act like an idiot almost of the time but your not stupid. You know that girl would do anything for you.”

A small smile grew on Midoriya’s face. Bakugou saw and retorted, “If you tell anyone I said all that I’ll blow your ass up, got it?”

“Sure Kachan,” Deku laughed.

Midoriya couldn’t see it, but after Bakugou turned his back to him, there was a small grin on his face after hearing his “friends” normal tone again.

Not long after his chat with Kachan, Midoriya felt a lot better. He wasn’t stuck, not any more. He knew how he felt and he knew what to do.

You didn’t intend on staying up late. Originally you were going to watch a little Netflix, maybe go on your phone, and then go to bed around 11:30 or midnight. But then you found a new show to watch and 8 episodes later, it was 1:30 in the morning.

Around the middle of the 8th episode you heard a knock at your door. Crap. Just your luck. Every so often Aizawa would walk around the dorms if he didn’t go to sleep or woke up. He would check on the students to make sure they were asleep and in their own dorms.

About twice you and Midoriya got in trouble because one of you was in the other's dorm after curfew. Thankfully he didn’t catch you guys the other times you snuck into the other dorms.

It was actually a pretty common occurrence. Whether one of you couldn’t sleep and just wanted to talk, or if one of you woke up and needed help going back to sleep. Oh wait yea the knock at the door.

You paused your show and didn’t move. You waited for Aizawa to say something like open the door, or go to sleep, or Midoriya go back to your own room. But, you didn’t hear anything.

There was a second knock on the door, much weaker than the first. I guess it’s not Aizawa, you thought to yourself. You slowly got out of bed and tiptoed to the door. After opening it you didn’t see anyone. Huh?

You peaked your head out and looked around the hallway. “Hey,” You whispered. You saw Izuku slowly walking away from your room. He turned around and faced you looking frazzled. “Hi,” he replied with a small wave.

“What’s up? Can’t sleep?”

“Something like that. I didn’t think you were awake and I didn’t want to bother you.”

You opened your door wider, “Come here, get in.”

A small smile grew on his lips. He made his way into your room and sat down on your bed, you followed suit. “So what’s . .”

“I need to tell you something,” he interrupted. A small blush danced on his checks as he spoke. “Yea sure what is it?” You asked, voice filled with concern.

Midoriya was frozen, he wanted to speak but no words came out. This was a lot harder than he expected. He even went through what he was going to say beforehand in his dorm. Crap. His heart rate was picking up and his breathing quickened.

You could tell he was anxious and placed one of your hands in his. “Hey it’s ok, you can tell me anything.” You comforted him. “I’ll always be here for you.”

His features softened, “That’s what makes this so much harder,” he replied. He took a deep breath and tried to slow his rapid heart beat. He looked at the floor, too scared to look you in the eyes.

“I’m in love with you,” he confessed. He did it, he finally did it.

“You make me feel safe and happy. Your smile is beautiful and your laughter is contagious. I’ve never met someone like you. It’s like that song you sent me last week. My life was pretty boring and a little sad, but then I met you. You turned my broken melody into a symphony y/n.”

He couldn’t see your reaction but he felt your hand tighten its grip on his.

Now you were the one that was frozen. The two of you sat there for a minute in silence. He started to get worried. “Look, I get it if you don’t like me back, just, promise it won’t mess up what we have. Your friendship means too much to me to lose it.” He muttered.

You placed your hand on his chin and pulled his head to face you. Your faces were inches apart. You made sure to not take a pause in between what you were about to say, in fear that the first statement would give him a stroke. “I don’t like you, I love you.”

He didn’t know what came over him. Maybe it was the look of joy in your eyes. Maybe it was his blood filling with adrenaline. He didn’t know. He leaned forward and pecked you on the lips. The blush on his face only grew as he watched your eyes widen and cheeks turn red.

Only a few seconds after the first kiss, you leaned forward and matched his lips with yours. This kiss was nothing like the first one. The first one was an electric spark that filled you with happiness. The second kiss was more passionate and gentle. Although, it was a bit awkward at first and it took you guys a second to figure it out. But, pretty soon you both were in sync. You placed your hands on his neck and he reciprocated by placing his hands on your waist.

It felt like the world stopped spinning and it was only you two. You’ve waited for this moment for so long, since the culture festival to be exact. A moment where you were kissing the boy that you had fallen in love with and there wasn’t a care in the world.

The two of you pulled apart gasping for air. Your head was spinning. “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” you sighed with a smile. Izuku giggled in response.

The two of you stayed in your room and went to sleep in each other's embrace not long after. You felt so safe in his arms, like you belonged there.

The next morning you woke up the blaring sound of your alarm. You turned around and shoved izuku’s shoulder. “Yo, pretty boy wake up,” you mumbled, voice groggy from just waking up.

Eyes still closed he wrapped his arms around your middle and pulled you towards his chest. “Nooo, I don’t wanna wake up. I stayed up super late confessing my love to the most beautiful girl in the world.” He whispered in response.

Before last night you two flirted or responded with wiry remarks like it was normal Tuesday. But now, it felt different. It wasn’t coming from your best friend, it came from a boy who had stolen your heart, and you stole his.

“I mean it. If I have to wake up you have to wake up,” You returned. He smiled and opened his eyes, “Good morning princess.”

You chucked and leaned forward to peck him on the corner of his lips before getting out of bed. “If I were you I’d head back to your room so you don’t have to sit through detention and have to explain why you were late.”

“Yeah you’re right,” he walked towards the door. “See ya later y/n.”

“See ya.”

#izuku midoria x reader #midoriya izuku #mha oneshot #mha x reader #mha headcanons #mha #my hero academia #fluff #mha fluff

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gospelofme · 4 years ago

Text

Amusing Vacation Tales

Cody x female reader

You two had spent Life Day alone last year. And the year before that. And the year before that. This year you gave in, you two were engaged now after all. You both had taken time off from work and here you were, at your parents’ house. You were propped up against your headboard, looking through an old school notebook. Your fiancé, Marshal Commander Cody, was reclining on your bed; his head propped on your thighs. Over his head he held an old diary you had agreed to allow him to read.

“Just this one! The others are far too embarrassing!” You had said. After a few moments of silence, you heard a giggle.

“What?”

“Today in Science class, Jared asked me for a piece of flimsi. I loooooove how he is so nonconformist!” Cody read, pitching his voice higher to imitate a younger you. All of his brothers were amazing at imitations and he was no different.

“Shut up! I do not sound like that!” You said defensively with a smirk. You made to grab the diary and he turned away and continued to read aloud in his high pitched imitation.

“This Jared guy sounds so dreamy!” Cody teased.

“He was!” Cody paused and looked at you.

“But you’re sexy.” You whispered, your face close to his. You two had just started to make out when your dad walked in.

“Whoa!!! Hey you wild kids!” You both sprang apart quickly.

“Dinner is cookin’, courtesy of yours truly. And your mom has plenty of snacks laid out.” He added. You both answered in unison.

“Thanks dad!”

“Thanks sir!”

You both sat at a small table on the back patio. Onderon was in it’s fall rotation so the evening was comfortably cool. You were enjoying a nice, cold beer and munching on some snacks while your father worked the grill.

“So, when is the wedding?” Your sister-in-law asked.

“Uhm, we haven’t set a date yet.”

“Oh! It should be in the spring time!” She suggested.

“Well Cody has to deploy around that time.” You informed her. It was something you didn’t want to think about.

“Are you two going to have a baby!” Your mother asked. Cody coughed, you blushed. You had thought about it, but you didn’t know if that was something Cody wanted.

“I don’t know.” You shrugged, Cody picked at the label on his beer. Your father changed the subject by announcing the food was ready.

With stomachs full, you relaxed next to your fiancé on some patio furniture. You were on your second beer, Cody was on his third. The conversation again turned towards babies, but in a more amusing topic.

“Well I heard if you want a girl, you put a wooden spoon and scissors under your bed and a pink bow under your pillow.” Your sister-in-law said.

“What?! How does that determine if it’s a girl?” You asked incredulously.

“Nah, the guys testicles have to be cool for a girl. Warm for a boy!” Your brother said. You noticed Cody unconsciously cross one leg over his knee.

“Yeah I don’t think that’s true.” He said with a skeptical look on his face.

“Well to get pregnant, they say that the missionary position is best. With your legs then elevated for 30 seconds. Or is it 20 minutes?” Your sister-in-law told you. You held your hands up,

“Whoa now, first of all, that’s a big difference in time. Second, I said we weren’t sure about kids. We aren’t even married yet so…”

“I know I know, I’m just informing the group.” She replied. You smirked and sipped your beer and watched the conversation continue with an amused smile.

“Well I heard you need to have sex in the morning, because the guy builds up his supply overnight.”

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s true either.”

“Cody, if you two decide to have a kid, you need to make sure you have sex as much as you can. Mainly because after a kid, that will be hard to work in.” Your sister-in-law offered. Cody shifted uncomfortably, a crooked smirk on his face and took a long drink of alcohol.

“Whoa whoa whoa. Babe, a man needs time to build up his troops between deployments.” Your brother quickly jumped in, placing a defensive hand on Cody’s shoulder. You busted out laughing and Cody spit out his beer.

“Oh my stars, that’s the best analogy I’ve ever heard!!” You wheezed. Cody was coughing and laughing at the same time.

“Holy kriff I can’t ever hear that phrase in any capacity at work now!” He managed to say after a moment.

You knew your family meant well, that they were just excited for you. You knew they’d never pressure you to have kids, but they would be excited if that’s what you decided. Of course, your brother and sister-in-law already had kids so your parents had grandkids to spoil. You both soon excused yourselves for the evening.

“Remember Cody, hold her legs up for 20 minutes! I checked!” Your sister-in-law yelled as you two went upstairs. She was promptly shushed by your mom and your dad made a noise of distress. You sarcastically laughed loudly.

Once in your old room, you settled down in under the covers. It was a close fit since your old bed wasn’t built for two people. You didn’t mind however, as you preferred to sleep close to your lover.

“I hope they didn’t make you too uncomfortable.” You whispered to him. He laughed lightly.

“You think that was vulgar? Babe, I’ve been living with a ton of guys who are way much more foul mouthed than that!” He replied.

“Good point.”

The rest of the trip was wonderful, full of laughs and memories. Cody blended into your family perfectly. They all loved him, even your aunts and uncles you arrived the following day.

It was over far too soon and you found yourself waking up to your alarm. Cody had left earlier to accost some rookies on their first day. You remember sleepily kissing him and telling him not to be too harsh. Your first day back at work after a vacation was uneventful. When you arrived home, you started dinner and then did some wedding planning. You had collected quite the stockpile of wedding holozines, tabbing things you liked. You were pretty much a do-it-yourself kind of person, preferring not to hire a professional.

Cody arrived home in the evening, tired but happy to see you. After dinner was eaten, Cody pampered you with a pedicure while you asked his opinion on table settings. You knew some of his men were married and while a couple guys had ceremonies, many had simply gone to the courthouse and signed forms.

“You sure you want to have a big wedding ceremony? We don’t have to if you’d rather-“

“I want to celebrate this. I haven’t celebrated anything really. I know it’s what you want too.” Your fiancé assured you. You smiled and continued looking at options.

Later that evening, you laid in bed awake. Cody didn’t snore, but slept quietly. While that was nice, it made it difficult to tell if he was awake.

“Babe? You awake.”

“Hmmm.” Came his tired response.

“Do you want kids?” You asked. The question had been echoing in your head since you had taken a shower hours before. He didn’t respond immediately, and you had started to think he hadn’t been fully awake to begin with. Just when you had started to try to get some sleep, he rolled over to face you. He looked at you thoughtfully.

“Maybe? Do you?”

“Maybe?” You confessed.

“I used to think that I’d be no good at that sort of thing, we weren’t created to be fathers ya know.” Cody explained. You gave a nod.

“But, I figured that if Fives can keep his kid alive, then I’d have a good shot at it.” Cody added with a smirk. You giggled.

“I don’t want to try for one though until after we’re married and I don’t have to deploy anytime soon.” Cody said, you nodded fervently.

“Oh I agree, I do not know how some of the other wives can do it by themselves.” You whispered. The idea of having to go through a pregnancy by yourself while your husband was away seemed stressful and overwhelming.

“I’m sure you’d be amazing, but I want to be here for things.” Cody assured you. You smirked as he pulled you to him, kissing your forehead.

“We can talk more about this later. Sleep now my love.” He whispered tiredly.

Tag list

@jgvfhl @nelba @leias-left-hair-bun

@baby-queen-zen @halzore @escapedthesarlacc

#star wars #the clone wars #star wars the clone wars #commander cody #commander cody x female reader #commander cody x reader #star wars fan fiction

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morganas-pendragons · 5 years ago

Text

Light | Wrecker

This is #1 of at least half a dozen or more fics I am gifting my Twitter kids for Christmas! I wanted to give back this year, and so I decided to write some things for characters I haven’t really tried anything for yet. Regardless of that, I hope you enjoy!

I played around with the clones ages for this considering we don’t know how old The Bad Batch is - like with Rex physically looking like he’s in his twenties but not actually being so.

This reader is a mom to the clones and uses she/her pronouns - exactly like the type in my headcanons - and she happens to have a favorite...

***

This was supposed to be a no strings attached type of job. The Kaminoans had recruited you, a simple human, to be a caretaker - of sorts - for the hundreds of babies that occupied their nurseries within the cloning facilities.

“There’s no point in forming attachments, Miss. Soon enough they’ll be handed a gun and told to go play war.”

Yeah. Well. You intend to give these children as much love as you are physically able, and that all starts with the first gaze you set upon one of the clones in the back of the nursery with the mutation.

He’s among 3 others who are specifically mutated for purposes you are not privy to know as a civilian. That doesn't matter. You pass through lines of cradles and approach the four in the back, peering over the side to gaze into the wide and vulnerable eyes of the largest baby.

“Hello, sweet boy.” You murmur, grinning as he coos happily at your voice and lifts his arms upward for you to sweep him upward and into your warm embrace. “You’re stunning. I bet you’re going to be such a big, strong boy!”

The baby’s response - despite only being old enough to hold himself upright in your lap - is only to clap joyfully and pound his tiny hands against your legs.

Big, strong boy. You’re gonna change the world. I just know it.

Wrecker, Age Four

His brothers named him Wrecker. It’s fitting, given how much larger he became then the other clones, but you’re too attached to the boy to leave Tipoca City at the time that the Kaminoans have asked you to.

“Buir!” You’ve been moved to the rooms in which they house the clones who are toddlers, and the first thing you see upon waking from your nap is a child sprinting as fast as he’s able to launch himself into your lap. “You’re awake!”

You beam and press a kiss to his forehead. “Hi ad,” You whisper, peering over his shoulder as he wraps his arms around your neck and buries his face in your shoulder. “Something you need to tell me? I gotta go take care of your brothers.”

“They gave me a name today!” He says, and your eyes widen as you gaze at his three brothers who stand before you.

“Only because he nearly broke Viper’s nose!”

You raise an eyebrow and gently pry Wrecker away from your chest. He’s definitely larger then the other clones despite how young he is, but he’d never use his size and strength for violence. Never. Your son is soft, innocent. He’s good.

“Wrecker, what’s-” Your gaze snaps back to the clone with the darker hair who then replies to your query with Hunter. It’s a fitting name. “Hunter, talking about?”

That’s the same day you learn that the clones who will eventually make up the spec-ops team known as The Bad Batch are fiercely protective of each other. They must have learned it from the person who protected them.

Little to the knowledge of most people, you took these four clones - the special ones, the ones who got the stares, the ones who got picked on and bullied by their brothers - under your wing. You saved them.

And in turn they save each other.

You are so proud to be Wrecker’s mother in that moment as he hastily recants a story of how he almost broke Viper’s nose simply because he was bullying Crosshair.

“Ad,” You ruffle his hair and beam with pride as you wind your arms around his body. “I am so proud of you.”

When Wrecker climbs into bed that night, the words he never hears from his trainers and superiors rings in his mind as he burrows under the thin blanket the Kaminoans have given him and his vode.

“I am so proud of you.”

As he falls into sleep, he dreams of his mother. A home, a family, and a mother standing in the kitchen unit - who gives him real food, real food he likes and he’s allowed to eat that tastes salty and sweet and sour and he’s so excited to have it - who treats her son as if he’s the whole world. The whole galaxy.

Wrecker, Age 10

The day he returns from a training mission with the rest of Clone Force 99 is the same day you have your first real battle with panic. According to what Crosshair and Tech tell you upon return, Wrecker was injured in a way that leaves him partially blind and with significant scarring.

You’re terrified. He and the rest of the Batch have already had a difficult time integrating themselves in with their brothers to the point where they’ve taken to calling the non-mutated clones regs and now only associate with each other. You don’t particularly care much about that anymore. As long as they’re looking out for each other.

When Wrecker is released from the medbay, you search the cloning facility for your son until you find him in the quietest room - the nursery - with his back against the wall and his chin resting on his knees. His face is scarred. His eye is cybernetic.

Maker, you love him.

“Wrecker,” Hunter had warned you about approaching him - claiming he’d become hard of hearing with the explosion that had injured him - and had brought up a fantastic idea with Tech’s help that you were going to initiate as soon as he was ready. “Ad.”

Your son lifts his eyes to meet yours.

“Buir,” He replies softly, always so careful to not disturb the babies who lay in their cradles around him. “Did you need something?”

You tilt your head and sit in front of him, parting your legs and resting your elbows against your knees. Wrecker watches you intently as you do so. He’s always been perceptive - not as much as Hunter, but enough - and with the lack of his sight, he’s having to rely more on his limited senses.

“Do you see this?” You take your fingers, press them all together, and rest them against the bottom of your chin before moving your hand forward. “This is sign language. It means thank you. It’ll be an easier way to talk to your vode when you can’t hear them so well. Is that something you’d be willing to learn?”

He nodded and frowned. “I’m gonna miss blowing stuff up.”

You reach outward, brush what remains of his hair away from his eyes, and repeat the sign for thank you and you’re welcome. He watches your hands mimic the movements before repeating them for you to see. Wrecker does them perfectly.

“Don’t worry.” You murmur. “You’re gonna get to blow stuff up again. I promise.”

Your only response is his smile. It’s more than enough.

Wrecker, Age 12 (Set during S7)

'Сause you are loved You are loved more than you know I hereby pledge all of my days To prove it so

After a while, the Kaminoans have had their uses for you. Your services are no longer required and so you are sent back to the boring home world that you have barely stepped foot on since being sent to Kamino to be the caretaker to infant clones.

Your experience with the formed Grand Army of the Republic is what gets you into the military, has you trained, and eventually what lands you on Anaxes.

Though your heart is far too young to realize The unimaginable light you hold inside

“Ma’am,” Cody’s voice rings out from behind you as you stand in the hangar bay, arms crossed over your chest with your eyes on the horizon as if waiting for the arrival of a ship. “I’ve cleaned your blasters. Just how you like them.”

You turn to acknowledge the Marshal Commander and smile softly at him. While you spent much of your time with The Bad Batch on Kamino, the greater majority of the Commander Batch and the younger clones have considered you one of them for quite some time.

“Thank you Kote.” You murmur. He nods his acknowledgement and before he turns back to Kenobi, lays a hand on your shoulder and says something about the arrival of Clone Force 99 for a mission they’re assigned to do with Rex. “What?”

The less then graceful landing of the ship known as the Havoc Marauder signals their arrival. You don’t dare move. It’s been too long since you’ve seen them, seen him, and you want to value the moment while you can.

I'll give you everything I have I'll teach you everything I know

They had never really known the lengths you went to in order to protect them - to protect him - and give him the life, the childhood, you felt he deserved. The Bad Batch had still had it rough, but your gentle nature upon meeting them had impacted them significantly.

“The Calvary has arrived!”

The first thing you see is the personalized armor. You are not the slightest bit surprised they threw in all their effort into ensuring their armor - out of the entire army - was the most notorious. Not to mention that as someone who watched them all grow up, you can see each of their personalities within the way they’ve painted it.

Then you see him. It’s unmistakeable that it’s Wrecker considering how much taller and broader he is then the rest of The Bad Batch, but it’s not him that notices your presence first.

It’s Tech. Ever the perceptive, constantly absorbing as much information as able, constantly recording everything, who sees you standing in the hangar and nudges his brother in the midst of speaking to Rex and Cody to point you out.

“Mom?” Cody asks skeptically, followed by a gasped “Buir? That’s the buir I never got to meet?!”

Kix is laughing hysterically at the way Jesse guffaws upon realizing that you are the infamous mother to the clones, but only these four and specifically Wrecker, but the way your heart swells when Wrecker notices you standing there far outweighs the reactions of all the other vode around you.

Instead of a greeting, Wrecker does one thing. He sees you, beams like the sun lives deep within him, and very promptly tosses you upward to sit on his shoulders. He looms over all his brothers. That doesn’t stop him.

Oh... oh, that boy has not and will never change.

With every heart beat I have left

I will defend your every breath

Bonus:

“I get to blow it up? The whole stinking thing?” Wrecker asks, to which he then looks to you with wide eyes. “You made a promise!”

You smirk and pat Anakin’s shoulder as you pass him. “Oh, I know I did.” You reply. “Anakin is keeping up on my promise for me.” When Wrecker begins to take the detonator, you turn to the Jedi and meet his gaze. I’ve been promising him this since he was old enough to know how to blow things up.” You coax him into fully handing over the detonator to your son. “Go on. Make his year.”

Admiral Trench’s cruiser explodes in a cloud of sparks behind The Havoc Marauder.

#Wrecker #Wrecker x Reader #Wrecker x Mom!Reader #The Bad Batch #Star Wars imagines #Star Wars oneshots

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psychedellic-phase · 5 years ago

Text

Fifteen (pt 13)

(gif by me! I use the iphone app momento)

tw: language, angst, mentions of drug use (relapse), mentions of miscarriage

word count: 7.3k (im sorry)

masterlist

series masterlist

Spencer got up from the cold tile floor, fuzzy unicorn in hand, and faced the window above the kitchen sink. He stared out of it, admiring the snow that was still falling lightly, wondering if it was raining in Seattle. His memory flashed to the last time he stood in the rain with you, but he tried to shake the images away. Instead he watched the snowflakes hit his windowpanes and melt. He hoped that maybe you were somewhere staring out of a window, admiring the dreary weather, and thinking of him too.

He found his place against the dishwasher again, sliding down as his mismatched socks gave way so he could stretch his long legs out fully. He pulled the nearly empty box onto his lap and appreciated the light weight of it, as he continued with his twelfth letter and thirteenth item. Thirteen, a number whose history of unluckiness stems all the way back to the thirteen attendees of the Last Supper, and tracks through the number of steps leading up to the gallows, all the way to the number of letters in the names of some of the most infamous criminals.

Thirteen was a haunted number, which rightly accompanied a haunting letter.

“This one’s long. It’s a month of tarnished memories packed into a few pieces of paper. So far I’ve gone through half of a college-ruled one subject notebook and I’ve had to change pens twice. It’s nearing 2:30, and the wine is finally hitting my empty stomach. Sorry in advance for the way my handwriting will be. I’ll try to make this make as much sense as I can.

If you look at your thirteenth item it is the notepad I stole from that resort in Florida. There isn’t much around to signify this letter. You don’t keep mementos from one of the saddest days of your life, but for some reason I took this useless paper and shoved it in my purse on my way out. Good thing I did, or you’d have no item to attach to these memories. Though I suppose that might be better.

The resort was where we were going to be at for our ‘babymoon,’ whatever that is. What a dumb idea, I’m still mad at myself for letting Garcia talk us into one. She just made it sound so appealing.

Once everyone knew I was pregnant, Hotch pretty much sat me in Quantico with Penelope. There were a few local cases where I was lucky enough to go visit the ME’s office, but usually I kicked my feet up in her lair while you were out in the field.

“A what?” I said one day as she ran DNA through CODIS. The two of us were drinking herbal tea, and I was barely 16 weeks. I just looked like I had a big lunch in my stomach, not a baby the size of an avocado.

“A babymoon. It’s like a honeymoon, but you go when you’re pregnant. It’s one last trip for mommy and daddy to go on and spend quality time together. How many trips have you and Dad-Wonder even been on?”

I shrugged. We didn’t travel much for pleasure. We traveled for work, so on our rare days off we liked to be at home.

“I mean we’ve gone to Vegas and Connecticut a few times.”

She rolled her eyes, “Visiting family, my dear, is not a vacation! I was thinking you two would go to the beach. You guys relax and wade in the ocean and Spencer can build sandcastles that defy every law of physics!”

I laughed at that. You and the beach? It just didn’t feel natural to me. Probably because you aren’t capable of actually relaxing.

“That does sound fun,” I said and I spoke to my barely there stomach, “And it would make daddy take a few days off.”

Penelope squealed and started clicking at her computer, “I’ll find a resort online right now! Okay so how about Marco Island? It’s gorgeous and in Florida, so it’ll be like eighty and sunny, even in the beginning of December.”

“I’ll have to talk to Spence about it. I mean I know it would be fun and all but we really should be saving money for a crib, and car seat, and bassinet, and high chair, and a rocking chair, and a baby swing, and a—“

Garcia stopped me from spiraling out of control, “That is why you throw a huge baby shower! People buy those things for you.”

I rubbed my tummy again, “Oh no, Daddy is very particular about what things are bought.”

“That’s why you have a registry, Momma Bear. Now, no more excuses.”

Before I could even call you, she had put in both of our requests for days off and we had a week long reservation at this fancy resort that you see listed at the top of this notepad, the “Crystal Cove”.

I was only slightly mortified that she did all this without me asking you. Mostly, I was happy. I was afraid you wouldn’t say yes, but if PG already booked it, you kind of had to agree. And to my surprise, you did.

When you got back from that case we were at home, you eating something I had poorly made from a random cookbook on a shelf. I had decided to start cooking more, so I could make homemade meals. I wanted to be that mom who cuts sandwiches into flower shapes and always has fresh baked bread and cookies laying around. I wanted us to be those parents; the ones who are so sickeningly in love that their kids roll their eyes every time they kiss. We were those parents, kind of, if we could even be considered ‘parents.’ At that point, I don’t think we were. But we were definitely in tooth-rotting, sickeningly sweet love.

“So, I have a surprise for you,” I said, coming up behind you and rustling your hair.

“Hm?” You said, stuffing your face like you hadn’t eaten in days. You probably hadn’t. You’re the king of forgetting to eat. Maybe that’s how you stay so skinny.

“I booked a trip, well I guess technically Garcia did.”

“A trip?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, a trip, to the beach. Penelope called it a ‘babymoon.’”

You laughed, “A babymoon? I’m not familiar."

I smiled and sat across from you, “It’s like a honeymoon, except it's just me and you relaxing and spending quality time together before this lil dude makes his appearance.”

You smiled, “I’m telling you, it’s a girl.”

I rolled my eyes, “It’s definitely a boy, but stop ignoring my offer.”

“Well, it’s not really an offer so much as it is you telling me that we’re doing this.”

“Okay, yes Garcia helped me book it already, and yes she put in our requests for days off, but you can say no.”

You did your little nose twitch scrunch thing, “I’d never say no to quality time with you, Love.”

You leaned over and kissed me, and I squealed, “I’m so excited! I have to buy maternity bathing suits now! Oh and a sunhat!””

Spencer smiled fondly, recounting that day. He was thrilled to go, minus the part where he’d have to wear shorts, and flip flops. Something about the piece that goes between your toes makes him squeamish. He was looking for the right opportunity to use something special he had bought for you, and you had just given him it. A week on a beautiful beach with the love of his life? That would be the perfect time to ask you what he had been waiting to ask you since JJ’s wedding. He was going to take Hotch’s advice; stop waiting, start doing, and get down on one knee with a blue velvet box.

He never got the chance to. The trip was supposed to be in the beginning of December, around your week twenty-four. You never got that far.

He got up from the ground, immediately digging around in a drawer full of pencils and compasses and rulers, finding the blue box in a corner. It was covered in pencil shavings and dust. He hadn’t looked at it in months. He held it delicately in his hands before opening it.

It was plain, but he remembered you said that was what you wanted.

“Oval, of course and silver,” You had explained to Penelope and JJ at a night out years ago. Derek and Spencer sat on the opposite side of the table, but his ears perked up at the mention of rings.

“I like just the band,” JJ said, admiring her own ring, “And I have Henry’s birthstone, the citrine, so I didn’t need another one.”

“What kind of stone Y/N? I’d love a pink diamond! Or a ruby! Imagine!” Penelope gushed.

You shook your head, “I’d take cubic zirconia, if it was coming from the right guy.”

Both Penelope and JJ stuck their tongues out, “Nuh-uh!” Garcia said, grabbing her phone to scroll through more pinterest photos.

“Spence will be getting you a diamond.”

You rolled your eyes and whispered, “Don’t jinx it JJ! And I don’t want a diamond.”

Her mouth dropped, “No diamond? Really.”

“Diamonds aren’t ethically sourced.”

“Lab grown! Get lab grown!” PG piped it, showing you a picture of a ring, just an oval in a plain silver setting.

“That! That’s the one!” You said and Garcia giggled, going on a rant about her dream wedding.

Spencer had gotten that exact ring. Lab grown, oval, classic, beautiful. It was what you wanted, and you deserved everything you ever wanted.

Spencer looked at the notepad. He could tell you had a hard time picking an item for this letter. He knows this letter is the end, the other two are the epilogue of a story he wishes you kept writing. Crystal Cove is the place where he had planned on asking you to marry him, but it ended up being the place where your love story ended. He tossed the notebook to the side and decided that the souvenir for this letter was now going to be this ring. This ring that sparkled and shined, even in the dull incandescent lights of his kitchen. This ring that belonged on your finger, and not in the back of a drawer. This ring that you didn’t even know existed, but if you had, maybe you’d still be together.

“I did buy three maternity bathing suits, and you bought shorts. Spencer Reid in shorts. It was going to be the best trip ever. We were going to snorkel and look at sea turtles and sunbathe and drink virgin piña coladas by the ocean. We were going to get couples massages and spend every moment loving and appreciating each other.

The actual trip? Much different than the one we had planned on paper, but let’s first discuss that time between the hospital and the trip.

It was four weeks. Four weeks of me sitting at home while you were off at work. Four weeks of the door opening and Derek walking through, not you. And on the odd chance that it was you opening the door, you’d be appearing at odd hours of the night to grab a new suit or a file or a snack and then getting back in your shitty car and going to your apartment. Each time I heard that comforting sound of your satchel hitting the floor, I’d crawl out of the cave of blankets I was in to find you, and you’d act like I wasn’t even there.

For the first few days, you asked me how I was and if I was feeling better, then you’d check your phone and wave goodbye. After that, I was lucky if you’d say hello, then I was lucky if I even got a glimpse of you. You never held me. You never kissed me. You never told me you loved me.

I got all my information about you from Derek. Every day I texted you, “Have a good day at work! Talk soon?” And everyday you didn’t answer, so I’d ask Derek if you were okay. He’d always tell me what you were doing. Usually you would take a stack of files of cases to a dark room and make preliminary profiles to send back to the departments, alone. I’d tell him thank you, and the next day would be the same nonsense.

Those four weeks dragged. It was like every minute was an hour and everyday was a year. I was healing, even without you, everyday I felt better and better. But that’s relative to the day before. I haven’t felt ‘good’ yet. I haven’t felt ‘happiness’ yet. But I will. And I’m counting on that.

My mandatory leave was four weeks, and at the end of that Hotch called me in for a ‘mandatory psychological evaluation.’ I didn’t tell you about it because you weren’t speaking to me, and even when you did you were angry and snappy and rude.

I didn’t pass the evaluation. Even though the BAU wrote those damn questions, I still didn’t pass. When my four weeks were up, you were expecting me at work, and I never showed. You didn’t notice how not okay I was because you were too busy handling your own feelings, which I understand. You have to take care of yourself first, deal with your own trauma before touching anyone else’s. So, your trauma was none of my business, a concept you should've applied to my healing process.

I was supposed to come back on a Monday and when I didn’t show you came to the house. You opened the door and yelled my name. It was a sound I hadn’t heard in weeks, and it felt good. I thought you had finally come home. I thought you were finally ready to heal with me, but you weren’t. You were there to judge me.

I think I ran to where you were, a smile on my face that I didn’t think I was capable of making, “Hey!”

You looked so put together in a neatly pressed suit, but your eyes exposed you. They were bloodshot and the bags were so large they almost reached the end of your nose. I had on one of your shirts; it was comforting at the time. Not so much anymore.

You looked me up and down, a small scowl forming on your face, “Where were you today?”

I took a deep breath, and I lied, because lying to you felt easier than telling you the truth. The truth that I was not deemed stable enough to come back, even though I wanted to. I needed to be distracted. I was ashamed, scared, confused.

“I-I didn’t go.”

“Didn’t go? You’ll get fired Y/N.”

I sighed, “No, my leave got extended.”

I could feel the way your eyes bore into my skull as I dodged eye contact.

“Extended?! It’s been four weeks.”

“I’m not ready!” I desperately wanted you to see through it. I thought I was ready, but the papers disagreed.

“Hotch let you do that?” Your voice was increasing and I found myself inching away from you.

“He encouraged it!” Another lie. He didn’t ‘encourage’ it. He forced me.

You rolled your eyes, grabbing your bag and opening the door again.

“You’re leaving? Spencer c’mon I-”

You cut me off by slamming that door in my face.

That’s when I started closing myself off. I started dreading the sound of your feet against the floor at three am. I started to put my own walls up, but they would dull in comparison to the Great Wall of Spencer you built around yourself to keep me out.”

Spencer was always good at putting walls up. In fact, you were the only person to ever get him to take (almost) all of them down. There’s a side of him he doesn’t show anyone, a side of him that he reserves for himself, and when something happens, that’s where he goes. He goes to the corner of his brain where he feels safe, and the walls come up to protect him.

And in those last four weeks, he did just that. He put the walls up, shut you out, and decided that was better. Except it wasn’t better, it just was easier. It was easier for him to bypass you and find a new outfit for work tomorrow. It was easier for him to disappear in the office until the odd hours of the morning. It was easier for him to hide away from you, because when he’s exposed he always gets hurt. It was easier to act like everything was fine, even though everything was the opposite of fine.

He never needed to go to the house, part of him was drawn there like a moth to a lantern. He was drawn to you. As much as he didn’t want to see those four walls, he still needed to check on you. He just did it in his own damaged way. He’d get a glimpse of you in old sweats and a shirt with a hole in it, hair a mess and mascara from two weeks ago adding to your eye bags and he’d be reminded that he couldn’t be there for you. He would never be enough, and he’d retreat into the comfort of solitude.

He was so preoccupied with being hurt, that he didn’t realize just how much he hurt you too.

“I had forgotten about the stupid trip, and so had you. You were too preoccupied with work and not speaking to me and I was preoccupied with crying and trying to speak to you. I only remembered the trip when I got an email from the airline about the flight, they had to move our seats or something stupid. I decided that was a reason for you to actually need to speak to me like I was a person, so I took advantage of it.

I intercepted you at home one day. I had been sitting in the kitchen waiting for you. You came home at two am.

“Hey,” I said, immediately as you walked through the door. You looked surprised that I was up.

“Hi, I’m just gonna—“

“Spencer, stop. We have to talk.”

You crossed your arms, not leaving the threshold of the door, “No. I told you a million times Y/N, I don’t want to talk.”

“Not about...” I couldn’t find the words and you started up the stairs.

“Are we going on this damn trip or not?” I said, my voice cracking from lack of use.

You stopped, looking over the banister at me, “You didn’t cancel it?”

“I didn’t think of it until now. We’re supposed to leave in two days.”

You groaned, “Why didn’t you cancel it?”

I threw my hands up. As if all of this was my responsibility?

“I was preoccupied! Did you cancel your days off?”

You shook your head, rubbing your face, “No, God. Can we still get a refund?”

I was hurt that you didn’t want to go, but not surprised. As I stared at the front door from my spot at the kitchen table I decided that I was going to go no matter what. It was going to be refreshing to look at the ocean instead of an empty nursery. That would be my distraction.

“I-I’m going. I’ll pay for your half, but I’m going. I’m losing my mind here, Spence.”

You looked at me again, still contemplating your options.

“I get it, okay? You can’t be in this house, but neither can I. Maybe we can talk and stuff on neutral ground. I-I just want you there with me, the way it was supposed to be.”

Then you took me by surprise, you nodded, “Yeah, yeah we’ll go.”

I’m sure I lit up like Rockefeller Center at Christmas, “Really?”

You rubbed your eyes, “Yeah, we can go Y/N.”

I was feeling lucky, so I pushed it, too hard, “Are you staying tonight?”

Your voice went from sleepy to sour, “No.”

And you vanished up the stairs, taking all my hope in us with you.

I knew deep down it wouldn’t end well. I knew it was going to be fighting and yelling and arguing, but any time with you was good time with you at that point. And I favored the little bit of serotonin and dopamine you flood my brain with as opposed to staring at the gray walls of the kitchen alone.”

Spencer only agreed to go because he thought he was getting there. Everyday he felt a little better when he’d walk through the door, but he still wasn’t ready. He thought a week of no work and no one to talk to except you would bring the walls down. This would finally be the catalyst in a reaction that was taking far too long to complete. He also couldn’t stand the thought of you flying and spending a week alone. He felt better about you being alone here because you weren’t really alone. You had Derek visiting, Garcia dropping off baskets, phone calls from Emily, the odd visit from Rossi, and apparently phone calls to Hotch, but on that island you’d really be alone, and he was worried about how you’d handle it.

“So two days later we got on a three hour flight to Miami, and I drove our rental car to this resort. We didn’t talk much the whole time, besides some small talk about the flight and other odd comments. It was painfully awkward, and I regretted even coming.

We didn’t speak until I used the keycard to open the door, and we stared at the one king sized bed in the room.

“Oh,” was all you said when you realized you’d have to share with me.

“What?”

“There’s only one bed.”

I rolled my eyes, “Spencer, we’ve shared a bed for three years.”

You just stood at the door with your hands fidgeting on the handle of the suitcase, “I’ll call down and ask for a cot to be brought up.”

“A cot? Are you serious?” I couldn’t believe you, “Why come if you wouldn’t even share a bed with me? I said I’d be fine alone.”

You opened your mouth to speak, but changed your mind.

“Great communication skills Spence. Really, I’m impressed.” You rolled your eyes and finally started to unpack your bag, “I came because I was worried about what you’d do here all alone.”

Part of me was happy you were worried, but a bigger part was annoyed, “I’ve been handling being alone fine, thanks.”

You scoffed, “Yeah. That’s why you need Derek to bring you food everyday, because you’re doing so well.”

I bit my tongue and tried to speak calmly, “Well at least someone checks on me everyday.”

That shut you right up.

The three days you were there went as follows: we slept as far apart from each other as we could, despite how badly I wanted to cuddle into your arms. We’d get up in silence, eat breakfast in silence, walk to the beach and read in silence, eat lunch and dinner in silence, and each night we’d yell at each other until we fell asleep on opposite sides of the bed.

Remember what I said to trigger the fight on December third, your last day there? How could you forget? It’s the fight that broke us up.

“So, I was thinking of going to a counselor,” I said, staring at the waves lap the sand from the balcony of our room. The air felt cold for eighty degrees. But maybe that was just because the air between me and you had been cold for weeks.

You were sitting next to me, but I could tell you were worlds away.

“Spence,” I nudged, trying to snap you out of your daydream.

“Hm? What?”

“I said I’m going to go to a counselor.”

You twisted your face, “A counselor? What for?”

I shrugged, “I-I think it’d be good for me. It’s a grief counselor.”

You turned to look at me, your brow covered in sweat and your eyes watery. You were incessantly bouncing your left leg, rubbing at your nose, and you seemed disinterested in every single thing I was saying or doing. In fact, you’d been acting that way since the first day you disappeared to your apartment.

“Counselor? Yeah,” You were fidgeting, barely making eye contact.

A feeling I can only describe as pure dread formed in my stomach. I thought I might puke, but I swallowed the feeling and kept talking, “I got a recommendation from Hotch. He said he went to Dr. Stevens after Haley died. He said it really helped.”

You were still not listening.

“I think it’d be good if we went together.”

That finally got your undivided attention. “Together?” You snapped, “No.”

“Why not?” I said it with an air of exhaustion and despair. I was tired of this. So fucking tired of it.

“I’m not going to a damn therapist, Y/N,” You seethed, your metal deck chair scraping against the concrete as you stood in front of me.

The sky looked stormy, palm trees whipping in the wind as you came before me. The bags under your eyes looked like bruises, and you had on sleeves. It was eighty and you had on sleeves.

“Okay, I’ll go alone then. I think he could really help us though.”

I was giving up on fighting. I didn’t understand how when I was at my absolute low you could just keep kicking me while I was down. All I wanted was for you to go to someone and talk about it. That’s it. You were acting like I’d asked you to move a mountain for me, which, might I add, at one point you would have done.

“He? You really think a male therapist is going to help? You lost a baby, Y/N—“

“WE,” I clarified, for what felt like the fiftieth time, “We lost a baby.”

You rolled your eyes and ignored me, “You lost a baby. How does a male therapist help you through that?”

I was angry now. It was bubbling up to the top and I thought I might explode.

“He’s a grief counselor! He’ll help me through my GRIEF! And I think you should go because clearly you have a lot going on. You always have! You should’ve been seeing someone for years.”

“Oh, I have a lot going on?” You sneered, “Of course I have a lot going on! I go to work everyday to bring you home a paycheck so you can sit around all day and do nothing.”

I stood up, got close to your face, “I’m on leave.”

“Yeah, sure, keep telling yourself that.”

You bypassed me and went inside, and my hot anger turned into wet anger and fat tears were rolling down my cheeks.

“Do you know how traumatic this was on my body? Do you? Everything hurts and you were supposed to be there! You were supposed to take four weeks off too! You were supposed to be there for me!”

“Yeah and who’s there for me!” You yelled, louder than I think you ever had; at me at least. You had thrown your suitcase on the bed, haphazardly grabbing your clothes from the drawers and shoving them in.

“I would’ve been,” I said softly, coming up behind you to grab your arm lightly, “If you had let me.”

You pulled back, “Don’t touch me!”

I reached up to wipe my eyes and crossed my arms in front of myself defensively, “I want to be there for you, Spencer. I do. Why won’t you let me?”

You didn’t answer, because even you didn’t know why. You just stood over the suitcase, one arm on either side of it, hair matted to your sweaty face, panting and panting.

The facts I had chosen to ignore were staring me in the face again. Or maybe I was just that oblivious.

“I’ve never seen you like this. This isn’t you, Love,” I tried to say in my most soothing voice. The dread had clawed its way back up to the back of my throat.

“Or maybe this is me,” you said softly, and I swear you were crying. Or maybe I hoped you were, that way we were both sobbing. That’s as close to togetherness as we could get.

“Maybe this is who I am now, or who I’ve been all along.”

I reached out for you again, but stopped myself, “No, Spencer. The real you isn’t this angry, and bitter, and mean.”

You slammed your hands against the bed, “Yes it is!”

“Is that what you’ve been doing all this time?” I said sadly, shaky breaths between words, “Is that what you’ve been going to your apartment and doing?”

You turned around, skin sweaty and eyes red, “What? What are you talking about now? God, do you ever stop talking?”

I snapped, ignoring your last jab there, “Are you using?”

Your face contorted into a sour expression, “Am I using?”

“Yeah, Spencer! Are you? Because I can’t see any other reason for why you’re so irritable and sweaty and out of it! So I’ll ask you again, are you going through withdrawal?”

You looked like I had literally punched you in the gut, and I kind of had. It was a low blow, I’ll admit it, but I was seriously worried about you. If an event would trigger you, this would’ve been it.

“What? No!”

I wasn’t sure whether or not I should believe you, but I knew I had to support you either way. I love you, even when you’re angry at me, I still love you. Even when you throw clothes and seethe at me through gritted teeth, I still love you. That’s my fatal flaw. No matter how many reasons you give me to stop loving you, I never will.”

Spencer let out a shaky breath, lower lip pinched between his teeth. Was he really that terrible? He didn’t remember being so spiteful. Reading it back, he understood why you thought he was high, and he had thought about it more than he cared to admit. But he hadn’t touched the stuff in seven years, and he wasn’t about to start again now.

‘No matter how many reasons you give me to stop loving you, I never will.’

That line made him want to cry, hands clenching the ring box as if it were a stress ball. That line simultaneously felt like a stab in the gut and a breath of fresh air. He had given you so many reasons to walk away, and the one reason to stay was there in his palm, unused.

““It’s okay if you are. I understand this is a... hard time. I’ll support you through this,” I put my hands out to touch your chest.

“I’m not high and haven’t been in years!” You swatted my hands down.

“Then what the hell is going on!?”

“I’m angry and I’m sad and I’m heartbroken!” You yelled, going back out onto the balcony to stand in the rain that had started pouring down in sheets.

“Spencer! Stop!” I followed you out, tears mixing with rain to the point that I didn’t know which was which.

“I’m just confused! It’s hard to see the point in all this anymore. Maybe it’s just not worth it,” You said, yelling at the ocean not at me. Rain soaked our clothes instantly. Part of me was hoping this scene would end like the ‘notebook’ we’d kiss and you’d spin me around. I guess this is kind of like the notebook, it’s a story to help you remember us. Except you don’t have Alzheimer’s and I wrote 15 letters, not 365.

“Maybe what’s not worth it?” I was yelling too, just so you could hear me over the sound of the wind and the rain.

“This!” You gestured between us. I felt like you knocked the air out of me, my whole body stinging.

“But I love you!”

“All of this has made me realize that love isn’t everything! I love you too but we need more than that!”

That was the first time I’d heard you say ‘I love you’ in a month, but it was a double edged sword. I bit my lip so hard I think I started bleeding, “Love isn’t enough? Are you kidding me, Spencer?”

You swallowed thickly, “No! I’m not kidding. I’ve never been more serious!”

“So what? That’s it?” I said it quietly, but I wanted to scream at you. I wanted to scream that you were being an idiot. You were being ridiculous. You were being unnecessarily cruel. But I didn’t. I was tired and water logged. I had finally given up.

You ran your hands through your hair, “No–it’s–we we aren’t over Y/N. I’m just saying that it’s gonna take more than love to fix us.”

“Well maybe if you were ever home, we could actually try. But you aren’t. You’re always gone! So explain to me how we’re going to fix this. What’s it gonna take Spencer? What do you want from me?”

You took a deep breath, uttering words I was so sick of hearing, “We need space and time.”

“Space? Time? It’s been a month Spencer! I let you go to work. I let you spend every day at your damn apartment. I stopped calling. I stopped checking in. How much more space and time do you want?”

“Thirty-four days,” you mumbled, just so I could barely hear. The thunder rolled, mostly drowning it out.

“What was that?”

“It’s been THIRTY-FOUR days, Y/N. Thirty-four. I don’t know how you expect me to be okay after only thirty-four days.”

“I don’t expect you to be fine! I expect you to speak to me! To look at me! I want to go to bed crying and have you there next to me. I want to be there for you when you’re crying. The only way we get better is if we do this TOGETHER!”

The anger looked like it melted off of you, and I took that as my opportunity to approach. I threw my arms around your soaked body as you shook with sobs into my shoulder. I held you like my life depended on it, because in a way it did. You wrapped your arms around me too, and everything felt okay. We were standing in the pouring rain, holding each other as we cried, and somehow I felt more okay than I had in the thirty-four days prior. It felt like maybe you were coming back to me.

You weren’t.

We stood like that for what felt like hours, and eventually I pulled you inside. I wish I didn’t. I wish we stayed there, holding each other in the rain until the sun came up and dried us off. I foolishly thought the rain washed our sins away.

“It’s going to be okay,” I said, my head on your shoulder as we wrapped ourselves in towels, “I promise.”

You shrugged me off of you, going back to packing your bag.

“Spencer, stop packing, please,” I begged, grabbing the items you were putting in and taking them back out.

“I don’t want to be here anymore,” you said plainly, taking a shirt and putting it back in.

“I-I thought—“

“Thought what, Y/N? That because I cried to you and told you I loved you that we were magically okay?”

I stammered, “No. No! But I thought it meant we were in this together now.”

“You just accused me of relapsing an hour ago.”

“And I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, but that’s not a reason you should go,” I pleaded, reaching for you again. I thought if you walked away I’d never see you again.

“You don’t trust me,” your voice cracked.

“No, Love, I—“

“Don’t call me that.”

The pain in my chest bloomed, sending a wave of heartache through my entire body. A heartache I still haven’t been able to shake. It’s still there. Some days it's a thunder crack and sometimes it's a low grumble, but it’s always there. The rain hasn't stopped.

I hadn’t even realized that you were completely packed until you zipped the suitcase shut.

“You’re really leaving?”

You stopped at the door, hand on the handle, to turn and face me. I didn’t need to use my profiling skills to see how much pain you were in, and my pain doubled at the sight. I’ve always been an empath when it comes to you, feeling what you feel like it’s my own.

“I am.”

I crossed the room and threw my arms around you, sobbing into your chest. To my surprise, you wrapped your arms around me lightly.

“I understand,” I said, looking into your eyes, “We can’t be there for each other the way we need to.”

You nodded into my shoulder, “Stay. When you get home from this we’ll talk. I just need a few more days.”

I shook my head, finally coming to the realization that we didn’t work anymore. We weren’t healthy anymore.

“Don’t bother. The writing’s on the wall, Spence,” my voice wavered, and I regretted every word as they left my mouth, “I’ve been waiting for that person from the hospital to come home to me. I’ve been waiting for the Spencer who lends me his shirts and fact dumps and eats IHOP and ice cream with me to come home.”

I felt your breath stop under my arms, “But that Spencer, the Spencer I love, isn’t here anymore. We need to be alone.”

I felt you shake with tears under me, and that triggered mine, “We have to break up.”

I wish I never said it. I wish I gave you those few days, but we both know those few days would’ve turned into weeks and months and we would’ve ended up here anyway. I wish you didn’t let me say them. I wish you kissed me to shut me up and told me I was being stupid. I wish I didn’t watch you go down that elevator, tears on your cheeks. I wish I didn’t spend the other four days in an empty king sized bed, crying for you.

I realize now that you changed. I did too. Instead of wishing for the old you, I should’ve learned to love the new you. I think I would’ve, if I had given it a chance. Actually, I know I would’ve. I think I’d fall in love with every version of you that could ever exist or has ever existed. You and I, we’re meant to be together.

I know you probably don’t believe in it, but I like to think that we’re twin flames; we’re two halves of one soul that somehow ended up in two bodies and constantly pull to find each other again. I’ve read a lot about them recently. Twin flames don’t necessarily end up together. They can even just be two people with an intense friendship. They’re people who help each other grow, even if that means they’re only in your life for a short time. I like to think that we are that case, and that in some parallel universe I’m with you and we have our daughter and we’re happy. I just wish that I was in that universe now.

I know it’s for the best that we went to the damn Crystal Cove and broke up. I’m sure someday in the future I’ll be pleased with that decision, but for now, I still regret it.”

Spencer stared at the notepad, eyes flicking between that in his left hand and the ring box in his right. He took the ring out and admired it in the light. It glinted and glimmered, delicately refracting light onto the cabinets. He slid it halfway down his ring finger because that’s as far as it would go. He imagined it was on your slender, perfectly manicured hand instead of his, but an ache formed where his heart was when he realized it’d never end up here.

Spencer grabbed the notebook. It was unlined and the paper felt flimsy and thin. He got up from the floor to find a pencil in the drawer the ring had been hidden in, and took it out to scrawl his own letter to go with his own memento. A sixteenth letter for a sixteenth item you had no idea even existed.

“Y/N,

I’d like to consider this letter sixteen, to go with the engagement ring that’s in my palm. I bought this ring the day after we ate dinner at Rossi’s and showed everyone tiny FBI onesies. I have your perfect ring here in my hand, a plain silver band with a lab-grown diamond in a four-prong setting in the center, just like you told Garcia you wanted. I should’ve given it to you the day I bought it, but I waited until the perfect opportunity presented itself.

What you didn’t know about the trip to the Crystal Cove was that I was going to propose to you there. I was going to get down on one knee in the sand at sunset after dinner. I even had a whole speech planned. I was going to tell you that I never thought I could love anyone as much as I love you, or that anyone would ever love me the way that you do. I was going to say that it amazes me how everyday, I wake up and love you more than I did the night before. And everyday I think it’s be impossible to love you and our daughter more than I do right now. I wanted to tell you that I want to wake up every morning and feel that for the rest of my life. I want the good, the bad, the ugly, I want it all. I want Korean film festivals and IHOP breakfasts and to talk to the moon. I want tubs of ice cream and overly sentimental flowers hanging from the wall. Most of all I wanted to say that I want to spend every day of my life making you happy.

That speech still applies today. I still love you enough to ask you, but I don’t think you love me enough to say yes.

It’s okay. It really is. I haven’t decided what to do yet, but if you do read this, just know that it’s okay. I promise you, it’s okay. I’m not the bitter, angry man I was at the Crystal Cove anymore. I changed again, and I hope you’re right. I hope we are twin flames and your soul will come looking for mine, and I hope it happens in this universe, not the infinite parallels that may or may not exist. I miss you and I want nothing more than for you to come back. Come home, Love, please come home.

-SR”

He stared at the notebook page, before tearing it off and folding it in half, placing it in his pocket for safekeeping. He went on his computer and bought the cheapest one-way ticket to Seattle that he could find. He needed to see you. He needed you to see this letter, see this ring. He needed to make this right.

The flight was a red eye, leaving at midnight, so he’d get to the Seattle field office by eight. He looked at the leather watch and saw that it was nearly nine. He decided had to finish, and he had to finish now, as he grabbed letter #14.

PART 14

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Taglist!

@l0ve-0f-my-life @aperrywilliams @helloniallslovelies @random-ravings @ajwantsapancake @andiebeaword @boiled-onionrings @frnks-stuff @icantevenanymore1 @mellifluouswildbluebells @rottenearly @sammypotato67 @blushingwueen @peaxhyjaes @justanotherfangurlz @juniorgman187 @mbowles23-blog @blameitonthenight21 @goldentournesol @rainsong01 @thelifeofadumbbitch @swimmingtrashwobblersludge @youre-a-wallflower-charlie @eldahae

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid angst #spencer x you #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fic #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #cm #matthew gray gubler #mgg #dr spencer reid

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 4 years ago

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reading update

I was going to wait a full month to make another reading post, but I’m impatient and I’ve read a lot of books since the last one, so fuck it! book blogging NOW.

what have I been reading?

Shades of Milk and Honey (Mary Robinette Kowal) - “fantasy of manners” may be my new favorite genre. short, sweet, fun, and scratched that “Pride and Prejudice 2005″ itch with a heaping helping of magic on the side. I have no idea how this is a five book series but rest assured, I will be reading more.

The Midnight Bargain (C.L. Polk) - another fantasy of manners! delightful! I will freely confess that I’m not as found of this book as I am of Polk’s debut novel, Witchmark, and it’s sequel, but I was still delighted by the worldbuilding, magic system, and elaborate rules of society and courtship Polk put forth. one of the few books I’ve ever read where I would have happily taken less plot and more romance, because the love interest is one of the most bangable men ever put to fiction.

Tampa (Alissa Nutting) - a vicious and nauseating character study delving deep into the profoundly unwell mind of a predatory and sex-obsessed middle school teacher. in interviews about the book, Nutting makes clear her distaste with the common narrative that teenage boys who are molested by female teachers are somehow not really being victimized; her debut novel does an excellent job refuting this notion, and main character Celeste is engrossing despicable from start to finish.

Bunny (Mona Awad) - a typical MFA novel that takes a sharp, trippy pivot into surreal horror. although it’s not my cup of tea all the way through - the plot plods and grows tedious in places, and the narrative obfuscation of reality can turn into a headache fast - the idea is darkly fun, the creeping sense of wrongness is dangerously effective, and at least one reveal hit me so hard I nearly threw the book across the room.

When The Tiger Came Down The Mountain (Nghi Vo) - the framing device of Vi’s novellas, in which the stories are revealed as they are told to a monk dedicated to recording history, is even stronger here than in The Empress of Salt and Fortune. this time around, Chih’s telling the story of a mythical scholar and her mercurial tiger wife, interrupted frequently by three tiger sisters who have their own version of the story. the reckoning of two different perspectives on the same tale adds an exciting tension, and has officially secured Vo as one of my favorite new writers.

Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Consent, Love, Porn, and Navigating the New Masculinity (Peggy Orenstein) - the follow-up to Orenstein’s 2016 book Girls & Sex, which I’ll freely admit was a formative influence on me as an undergrad. this sequel of sorts is as upsetting as the first, revealing the extreme degree to which many young men have internalized the pressures of masculinity. you’ll ping pong wildly back and forth between sorrow (here I’m thinking specifically of the kid who had to watch three Holocaust documentaries to make himself cry when his parents got divorced because he had so thoroughly trained himself out of displays of emotion that it couldn’t come naturally even when he wanted it to) to anger (for both the boys who have been victims of sexual assault and harassment, and the ones who guiltily admit they have almost certainly committed it themselves) and walk away wanting so, so much better for boys.

Mediocre: The Dangerous Legacy of White Male America (Ijeoma Oluo) - now that we’ve all completed Oluo’s 101 course by reading So, You Want to Talk About Race, it’s time to get hype about Mediocre. this book’s chapters offer impressively comprehensive essays, drawing delightfully surprising and insightful comparisons between topics as seemingly disparate as the Buffalo Bill Cody-style romanticizing of the “wild west” to the 2016 occupation of Malheur National Wildlife Refuge by far-right extremists. also, if you like fun facts about how staggeringly racist the history of football is, boy is this the book for you.

The Wicker King (K. Ancrum) - before I even get to the content, I need to state that this is one of the most beautifully designed books I’ve ever held. the illustrations, the insertion of “found objects” like playlists and medical paperwork and photographs, and the way the pages literally darken throughout the story to reflect the characters’ deteriorating mental states is all brilliant. and the story itself? a breathtaking series of vignettes spelling out the story of August and Jack, a pair of terrifyingly intimate and co-dependent teenage boys struggling to make sense of Jack’s increasingly severe hallucinations. all the drama and devotion of Achilles and Patroclus, with (spoilers) none of the death.

what am I reading now?

no idea; I have five books on hold at the library and none of them are available yet, so I guess I’ll just suffer !!!

#bookblr #reading updates

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everybodyscupoftea · 5 years ago

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sick (of you)

pike jj x reader

cody and jj are idiots, you have to deal with it

pre-relationship - sorry but i’m sure y’all knew it was coming eventually

(warnings: cursing, zero? editing)

“I told you,” you paced, “I literally told you fucking idiots that it was a dumb idea. And did you listen to me? Of course not. Don’t know why, I’m clearly the smartest one in the group.”

JJ was sitting on the couch, arms crossed petulantly, frowning, until he couldn’t hold his breath any longer and had to open his mouth to breathe.

“Fucking mouth breather,” you muttered. “Hey,” JJ protested, sounding stuffy, “it’s not my fault, it’s Tyler’s. He’s the one that challenged us in the first place.”

“And if Tyler challenged you to jump off a cliff,” you started, only to be interrupted by the man himself.

“Now there’s an idea.”

“No,” you glared at him, “no dying on my watch.”

“Simply do not watch,” he shrugged.

Ignoring him, you went on, “Now all you idiots are sick and who has to house you for the time being? Me. Because the rest of the house kicked you out so you didn’t spread it to all of them.”

“I really don’t think we would,” Cody spoke up for the first time.

“I really think you would, boys are fucking gross as it is.”

“Yet here you are,” JJ smirked.

“Only because I love you guys, I wouldn’t otherwise.”

“Hmm, I disagree, you’re simply the best of us.”

“Well I certainly suppose that’s the truth,” you decided to take the compliment even though Cody was clearly just buttering you up.

You sighed, as JJ coughed pathetically, “Some soup would be awesome,” he suggested.

“Sure. I’ll order some from Panera. Then Tyler can babysit while I take a shower.”

“Woah,” Tyler held his hands up, “why do I have to babysit?”

“You’re the reason they jumped into the pool in 20 degree weather asshole. Reap what you sow,” you pointed at him accusingly.

He sighed, put upon, “Fine.”

“You guys are just lucky Zach is out of town because if he weren’t and I couldn’t see him until you fools get better, I’d be mad.”

“Where’s Zach?” JJ asked, sitting up.

“He’s with his parents for the next two weeks. He’s coming back straight after Christmas.”

Cody waved his hand, “It’s fine, we’ll FaceTime him eventually.”

Tyler left after a day because he didn’t want to get sick. He said it wasn’t his fault they forgot to get their flu shots. Which, to be fair, it wasn’t yours either, but you were nice enough to let them crash on an air mattress in your living room for the time being.

And to your fear, they got stir crazy quick. Cody was the first to start whining, “We’ve literally watched everything on Netflix.”

You raised your eyebrows, “They literally posted a new season of Criminal Minds yesterday that we haven’t even started yet. I’m literally waiting on you hand and foot. Not getting paid and risking my health. What the fuck could you possibly be complaining about?”

Cody did at least have the decency to look a little chargrained, “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

You sighed, thinking a few seconds, “I could paint your nails if you want.”

JJ brightened immediately, “Yes please. Can you do Christmas colors? Tis the season and whatnot.”

Standing from the couch, you shrugged, “Unsure, let me go check what colors I have.”

There was no green, but you did have red and white, JJ hummed, “Candy cane. Good enough for me.”

“I’m not doing stripes,” you warned, “but I’ll alternate fingers.”

“Deal.”

So you settled in, all three of you on the floor, and started the new season of Criminal Minds. It started quiet, but Cody got antsy quickly and started talking, “So, how are things with you and Zach?”

“Good,” you answered, tongue sticking out a bit in focus, “I talked to him last night. Things are going well at home. As well as can be at least.”

JJ knew nothing about Zach’s home life and the pressure his family but on him, but Cody did, so he nodded understandingly, “Fuck, well I’m glad it’s not a total shitshow.”

“Yeah. When he gets back we’re celebrating our anniversary. It was actually a few weeks ago, but obviously finals and now he’s not here so.”

“Oh yeah, what are you getting him?” JJ asked eagerly, crossing his legs and leaning forward on his elbows.

Your cheeks heated up, “It sounds so dumb, but I was planning for the main gift to be me telling him that I love him.”

Cody cooed and JJ wrinkled his eyebrows, “You haven’t told him yet?”

Sighing, you looked up at him, “No, why?”

“Has he told you?”

“Well, yeah.”

JJ hummed, “I see.”

Defensively, you crossed your arms, “I’m not obligated to tell him just because he’s told me. That’s not how relationships work.”

JJ’s eyebrows shot up and he held his hands out, “Hey, not accusing. Just wondering. It’s not personally how I’d like things to be done.”

You scoffed, slamming the cap back into the nail polish bottle, “Well guess what, you not only have zero say in my relationship, you also have zero control over me or my feelings. Zach and I have talked about it and turns out he’s not a selfish dickhead and understands where I’m coming from.”

Cody raised his eyebrows at your snap and put a hand on your shoulder, “Help us understand, sweetheart. Talk it out.”

Without meaning to, you teared up, frustrated that you had to defend yourself to two boys who didn’t really need to know, but you were going to do it anyway.

“I don’t want to say I love you to someone until we’ve been dating at least a year. Because love is a choice, feelings of attraction are how two people get together, but feelings fade, ask literally any girl. Based on how you know that person, you choose to keep being with them. You choose to love them despite their flaws, despite their mistakes, and despite the things you may not like so much about them.”

You paused, taking a shuddering breath and blinked back the tears, “And once I’ve chosen that person for a year and they’ve chosen me. Then I’ll say it. Because being in love with someone isn’t something I just take flippantly, it’s not just a word to casually throw around. It means something to me. So I’m sorry if my reasoning isn’t up to your standards.”

They were both quiet for a moment, JJ wouldn’t meet your eyes, but Cody lunged forward, wrapping his arms around you tightly. For a split second, you melted into it before realizing he was there because he had the flu and jerked away.

Face hot you stood up, “Finish your own nails, I’ll be in my room.”

Pacing a few times, you turned your phone over in your hands anxiously. You didn’t have anything to prove to them, you and Zach really had talked about it. But as tears rose in your eyes, and your throat tightened, you dialled the number.

Zach picked up on the second ring, greeting you breathlessly. You could hear the smile on his lips and had to wonder how the fuck you deserved this sweet sweet boy. And it was very clear to you, you loved him, would keep choosing him because no one else knew you quite like him, not even your friends.

“Hey hon,” you managed to croak out.

He sounded concerned, “What’s wrong, sweetheart.”

“I just,” you paused and twisted your fingers in your shirt until you’d calmed down, “I wanted to let you know that I love you.”

Zach was quiet, stunned into it if you had to guess, and he eventually whispered back, “I love you too.”

It gave you enough relief to lay down and relax. The two of you spent the next few minutes catching up, and eventually went silent, listening to each other breathe.

“I missed you,” you whispered, and then a bit louder, “or I guess I should say miss.”

“I miss you too, so much. I want to see you, and my parents haven’t been,” he paused, looking for the word, “good enough to justify me staying here.”

You sat up, excited, “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“Oh my god. Okay, I’ll see you soon?”

“You absolutely will.”

When you walked back out to rejoin the boys, you felt significantly better. Sitting down, in the armchair instead of the couch with them like you had been, you told them cheerfully, “Better get well soon because Zach is coming home early, and I’m ready to see him.”

Cody cheered and JJ looked at you with a face you couldn’t quite figure out. After a few seconds, you got a bit annoyed, “What?”

“Nothing,” he mumbled, finally looking away.

day 16 of @obxmermaid‘s holiday challenge: under the weather

#jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x you #jj maybank fic #pike!jj #cody and tyler #outer banks #outer banks fic #obxmermaidholiday #frat!jj

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magicalforcesau · 4 years ago

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Letters (part 2)

As Obi-Wan and Satine continue their written correspondence in the back half of their Hogwarts career, their bond strengthens to the point where it might not strictly be platonic.

ao3 link

Fifth Year Summer

Dear Ben,

I GOT MY MENTORSHIP REQUEST APPROVED! I’m going to be a peer mentor this upcoming year! Oh, I know this is going to be another responsibility when we’re already saddling quite a bit with OWLS and our duties as prefects. While it was your initial idea to join, I have no regrets. If I’m to influence the minds of thousands from the Ministry, it will do me good to have practice on a smaller and more impressionable scale. Besides, far too many first years are led astray in my opinion. Having firm and caring guidance will be most beneficial.

I hope you can write to me with the same news, even if I still believe you are pushing yourself far too hard. Just please consider your own mental health for this upcoming term. You’re already wound tighter than anyone I know. I would truly not like to partake in the bets that Fives and Echo make behind your back about when your head will explode. I believe either myself or Cody would win. We know you best.

Speaking of being wound tight, I have been dedicating my summer to the practice of enchanting muggle objects as per our homework assignments. Turns out, it truly is not that difficult. I’ve been careful not to alter anything that would come into contact with other muggles, but I look forward to showing you the results of some of my recreations. Between you and me, I’ve been constructing some that were not on the instructed list.

You’re not technically a prefect yet, Obi-Wan Kenobi, so don’t even think about making a wise remark about how you could see me in trouble.

Yours Truly,

Satine

Dear Satine,

I, too, just received confirmation that I’m to mentor a first year this upcoming school year! Regardless of your speculation and wariness, I stand by my decision. We will be kept busy, but idle minds mean time wasted. If you hadn’t agreed on principle, I don’t believe you would have signed up right behind me. As for my extracurricular activities, pretending as though I am not stressed in the slightest about the prospect of the coming year is futile, but I hope to work through it and to become a better student as a result of it. My father has relented on training by Quidditch form. There are bigger things to worry about such as OWLS, which is why I’m to be locked in all summer. No complaints there- I’d much rather read.

Speaking of reading, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the books you snuck into my trunk. Yes, I found them and they were quite a welcome surprise. A bit of relaxing education is just what the doctor ordered. Not literally, because I loathe visiting my family’s practitioner. He takes the term “witch doctor” to new levels and I will leave it at that.

You’ve always been far better at charming objects than I ever have. To be fair, I still don’t have a full understanding of what certain muggle objects actually do, but I’ve got most of the list marked off by this point. While I promise not to report you for deliberate rule breaking, I do admire your gumption. I hope you’ll one day let me see what you’ve crafted. You know I adore learning the novelties of the muggle world. I believe last we spoke, you were telling me about ‘computers’.

As always, I’d love to know more. You have a manner of speaking that simply can’t go unnoticed, at least not to me.

Best,

Obi-Wan

Fifth Year- Winter

Dear Satine,

I apologize if this owl reaches you at an indecent hour. I know how you are about your beauty sleep. It’s been strange being back home, even if for a couple of weeks. It’s only made me realize just how unreal this year has been in terms of excitement and mystery. Though I do not blame the boy for any of it, I won’t lie that it was a much quieter school without Anakin Skywalker present. I wouldn’t change any of it, of course. I believe I am making a difference in working with him. He has a bright mind, if he chooses to use it.

I still can’t get the vision of him foaming at the mouth on the floor out of my head. There’s no doubt that someone has it in for him. I can only imagine who. While eccentric, Anakin is still just a child. He’s harmless.

At risk of drastically changing the subject- my true reason for writing was to thank you again for the watch. My parents have ingrained in me the importance of writing thank you notes regardless of the nature of the gift. However, this might be the first time the sentiment has felt important in action. It may sound ungrateful, but a boy can only receive so many tie clips before he starts to sound a bit robotic in his delivery.

However, please note that every word I say, I mean through my very bones. I hope you didn’t take my silence at receiving it to be anything less than breathlessness. You always keep me guessing, Satine Kryze, and I would have you no different. I am still in awe every time I catch a gander at my wrist.

You did a marvelous job in transfixing and refurbishing it. Seriously, it is of no wonder that Charms comes easier to you than it does to me. Had I not known otherwise; I would have assumed this watch was always crafted with the intention of being magical. Even if it were just a standard watch, it would still have meant more to me than anything I’ve received simply because it came from you. My friend. I’m not sure I deserve it.

I suppose I’ve no excuse for fear of being late any longer, now do I?

It’s never coming off!

Obi-Wan

Dear Ben,

I’m no longer, by any means, insinuating that the boy is trouble. Or more accurately, I don’t believe he’s cognizant of these omens. What concerns me, is Qui-Gon seems to believe that a dark time is upon us. He won’t share his suspicions outright, but I can tell just by how he talks to Anakin with a certain level of wonder and curiosity. Surely, you see it too.

Even still, I say, when school starts up, we try and start our own investigation- off the books and away from Anakin, of course. We needn’t worry him more than he already is. Perhaps while Gryffindor has the field for Quidditch practice we can better research. There’s been too many strange occurrences this year for it to all be coincidental. I’d argue this is the tipping point.

We can further discuss a game plan back at school, but at risk of hurting feelings and potentially endangering lives, we should keep this between us.

I am, however, glad to hear you enjoyed the watch ♥

Yours,

Satine

Sixth Year- Summer

Dear Satine,

I received my OWLS results today as I’m sure you did the same. I wanted you to hear from me, personally, that I am, in fact, alive and well despite what I received as scores. I’m surprised at how alive and how well, quite actually.

For some context- I received all O’s in everything… With the exception of Arithmancy- of which I got an E. I’m not positive where exactly I went wrong in studying for it. I don’t recall the exam being particularly difficult. It’s never been a prized subject of mine as you well know, but I’ve always delivered nothing less than near-perfect marks.

My parents took the news surprisingly well. As opposed to blaming me for slacking off or being distracted by frivolous things such as friends… They were in support of me. In fact, they’re positive that the school is deliberately discriminating against me. I think it might have to do with the recent revelation regarding Anakin being the chosen one. They’ve been much kinder to me and the choices I’ve made as a result of my association with him. Where they believed I was wasting my time, I apparently “saw” what they couldn’t- even if my decision to mentor Anakin had absolutely nothing to do with the matter.

I still have not yet mentioned my pursuit of becoming an Auror. You have to space this kind of news out when you can. They’ve supported me on this, but I’m not sure they’d take that in stride. My parents have been itching to have me become a lawyer or a politician for as long as I can remember.

How were your scores? I’m sure you did brilliantly. I should know, I studied alongside you during all of this madness. I’m eager to properly celebrate with you when we next meet. My mother asked me where I’d gotten the watch the other day and I exclaimed that the brightest witch of my age crafted it for me personally… She assumed it was Ventress, but you’ve always thrived in the chaos of being underestimated, now haven’t you? I will never make that mistake.

Truly,

Ben

Dear Ben,

Don’t you ever scare me with such a dramatic introduction ever again! I nearly had a heart attack, assuming you’d gone and failed your OWLS in a fit of insanity. Given how unusual our fifth year was, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if it had another anomaly to toss our way. I thought I was going to have to portkey to you and shake the living daylights out of you for being so foolish.

You landed on your feet, as you always do and seem to make it look incredibly easy to those that do not know any better. We’re matching, actually, except my E was in DADA- likely during the practical session when I wouldn’t cast that Sectumsempra spell. To have us perform such an act on a defenseless animal is cruel (even if it was a spider), particularly in the name of ‘testing’. If they must endorse the epidemic of violence, can they not simply provide test dummies?

I’m actually surprised I scored that high, since the instructor looked at me like I had ten heads. I spoke to Cody today. He passed, despite how hard he doubted himself. We both knew that he would do fine, of course.

Ventress has been around a lot more frequently, hasn’t she? I know that she’s been quite displaced ever since Dooku’s outing. She’s quite smug and entitled for someone who hardly does anything aside from being an errand girl to a Sith terror. I’m sure she’ll be continuing her tricks this year. To think your family thinks you could be as shrewd and awful as her.

How is Anakin this summer? I contemplated sending him an owl just to see how he was processing the more recent revelations, but it would most likely sound more from the heart if it came from you. You were truly excellent with him this year, if I hadn’t already mentioned it. I know I convinced you to break away from the status quo and lean into your desires to become an auror, but you’ve got a real knack for teaching and seeing the best in people. It’s truly one of your best traits. That, and the fact that regardless how much of a mess you are, you always manage to look pristine from head to toe.

Actually, that last bit is borderline infuriating. I hope to see you before the summer lets out. I understand why that might be difficult, but it seems with your parents’ investment in Anakin, you might have a valid reason to be away from the homestead more often. If you understand what I’m saying.

Best,

Satine

Sixth Year- Winter

{A draft from the desk of Obi-Wan Kenobi}

[Boldened text in parenthesis] = out loud thoughts

Dear Satine,

How do I say this without sounding like a damn fool? You kissed me!

It’s been brought to my attention by literally everyone that we have a certain noticeable chemistry. [Why am I saying what everyone else thinks when I should be saying what I think?] Usually, when we are together, we argue. A lot. Sometimes, I’m surprised we haven’t strangled each other yet by how heated some of our debates become. You have this ability to get under my skin in a way that no one else possesses. Truthfully, I love [Too strong! Don’t go scaring her off now] truly appreciate that about you.

But there are times when I get this feeling… And it’s come on more and more the longer I know you… Like we could get beyond the possible strangulation phase and onto something… Better. [What is wrong with me?] You challenge me and I think sometimes I’m able to challenge you as well. I think having people in your life that push you to be the best you can be is a sign of true companionship friendship. You’ve become a constant in my life that I wouldn’t shake even if I could. Looking back, it’s only natural for me to grow feelings for you.

Where I tried to convince myself those feelings were simply an intense comradery, I cannot deny that I do not notice how the light casts on Cody’s hair or linger on him as he walks away [Blast that makes me sound like a pervert] wonder what his hand would feel like in mine. My heart doesn’t quicken if Cody touches my shoulder or laughs at one of my jokes. Cody doesn’t sit incredibly close to me at the dining hall, but if he did, I would be more confused than completely entranced. Cody is my other best friend, but my entire day is not made or broken by seeing him smile.

I wouldn’t be jealous if the seventh year boys decided to notice that Cody was beautiful.

And you are disarmingly beautiful, but I’ve always known that, even if I try to ignore it.

You can imagine how terrifying all of this is to realize at the remarkable hour of 3 in the morning- a mere 3 hours after you decided to kiss me under the mistletoe. How am I supposed to think of anything else now or ever again? Which leads me to think [Don’t be presumptuous] wonder… If you share these feelings. And if you do, we’ve got quite a predicament there. Because if I could blissfully convinced myself that we could never be, I’d be able to bury that deep within me, but even the idea of hope that you could see me in that light… I fear that would be all too tempting. The evidence says that you might. You’ve always been a better investigator than myself, but I can’t shake this feeling that we have these spellbound moments where everything slows down. And it’s just you and me. During those moments, everything is alright.

Usually, when I’m troubled as I am now, I do not hesitate to reach out to you. You’re my co-conspirator, my fellow prefect, my best friend. However, given the situation, that’s not very easy to do. Even if Qui-Gon speaks of it like it is . I wish it were, because now all I can imagine is the mark you’ve left with your kiss. It’s the same sort of feeling I get every time I touch the face of the watch you gifted me last year.

Should I ever muster up the courage to send this letter to you, which I definitely shouldn’t, because you deserve the sort of man that would bare his heart in person, please understand that while I’ve dedicated my life to studying magical text, I’m not nearly as well-versed in the subject of love. Since I’m so certain you’ll never read this, there’s no point in denying that it’s anything less than love.

Love,

Ben

Seventh Year- Summer

Dear Ben,

I wanted to ensure that you were on the road of being okay, all things considering. I tried to wait to give you space, but I couldn’t make it more than a week without knowing you weren’t going mad locked up in that house of yours. I’m not even positive you’ll write me back, which is infuriating, but understanding since Qui-Gon’s passing is not one to be taken lightly by anyone, but especially you. I wish I could alleviate the pain you must be feeling in any way.

I’m relieved just a little bit, knowing that Anakin is in your care. It was very surprising of your parents to offer him refuge, as he’s currently got no one else to possibly lean on. Hopefully the two of you can find some solace in each other during these difficult times. I care for both of you very much and my heart aches knowing I am virtually helpless in making this any better. I know you are likely placing an immense amount of pressure on yourself to distract you from addressing your own mentor’s death, but while your parents might encourage this behavior, it’s not a true way of coping. You need to let someone in.

Stay safe. Do not hesitate to reach out (no matter how cliché that sounds). Even if you talk to Cody instead, that’s fine. Just… Don’t lock yourself in that head of yours and go rogue. I’d miss you far too much.

With Love,

Satine

Dear Satine,

I’m not okay, but I’ll have to be soon. Anakin is safe and on the same boat. I’ll write later with a real reply. I’m not quite in the spirit right now. I just wanted you to know that I haven’t gone completely mad in absence.

~Obi-Wan

Dear Satine,

I’m sorry to be writing to you so late in “true” reply. I’ve been quite busy with Anakin this summer. It has been helpful having someone else around. While a gray cloud still seems to follow him around, I’d say he’s faring better than expected. It’s alarming how resilient the boy is, but also incredibly depressing that it needs to be that way. We’ve discussed the matter of Qui-Gon’s death a couple of times. While you won’t like this, I think there is some closure to knowing that Anakin’s attacker, who became Qui-Gon’s murderer, is dead.

Meanwhile, I must confess that it still haunts me every night. I haven’t said anything to Anakin, because like you rightfully assumed, I’m not about to unload that burden onto him. He feels it’s his fault just as much as I do. We’ve taken to playing Quidditch outside. My family owns several acres of land, so we are able to get out of earshot every now and then. Anakin actually gets on quite nicely with my parents, which is a massive relief. Getting back to school for our final year will be a good way to get back into routine. On the other hand, I’m dreading trying to attempt adjusting to a school without Qui-Gon.

I suppose studying my brains out for the NEWTS alongside you will provide for ample distraction. You, alone, are admittedly very distracting. I am referring to your character of course. A general statement.

There’s always Quidditch, unfortunately, which isn’t nearly as fun and carefree as playing with Anakin in the yard. Despite how massively competitive he is? He’s just turned 13 and he’s loads better than me already. I still hate the flying aspect.

I’m writing you, of course, because we just got notified that I’m to be the Head Boy to your Head Girl. This incredibly tragic time has truly made me appreciate the people I have in my life. You are, without a doubt, shining at the top of that metaphorical list in bold and underlined print. I wouldn’t be Head Boy had it not been for you.

A lot has changed thus far, Satine, and I’m growing tired of being afraid. Life is too short and it’s always going to throw negatives at us- some that are absolutely debilitating. However, there is always the light, which has made me think that perhaps this year, some changes don’t have to be bad. There are many things I’d like to discuss with you, in person. Because this sort of conversation should be the kind that happens face-to-face.

Would you like to meet before school?

Truly Yours,

Ben

#obitine #Obi-Wan Kenobi #satine kryze #the clone wars #star wars #hpau #magical forces au #fragments of the garden

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detroitbydark · 5 years ago

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Previous part (as well as fan art and fic?!) can be found here

Chp 12

Character: Commander Fox x Mouse (reader), Padme Amidala, Bail Organa

Warnings: idiots in love, mild pining

Summary: The one where Fox knows what to expect but is still incensed when it happens. Bail Organa is a good bro to everyone. Padme Amidala is rocking motherhood and is not so subtle in her matchmaking attempt.

A/N: I apologized in advance but your gonna see that I'm working to make things better I promise! As always thanks to my lovelies @skdubbs @crimson-dxwn and @thelastbattlecry for being my sounding boards/betas/listening ears.

-----------------

Naboo was beautiful. Not in the way that a rare gem or a fancy painting was, where one appreciated their grandeur because that was expected. Where they were looked at clinically and picked apart for sport.

No, Naboo was beautiful in a way that made Mouse's heart clench. The overwhelming majesty of the lakes and waterfalls bringing a tear to her eyes the first time she’d laid eyes on them. She’d never seen so much water, so much green. She could scarcely believe she wasn’t experiencing a fever dream in the claustrophobic bacta tank back on Coruscant. Even now, after two months, the view from the Naberrie’s Lake home (more like a palace than any home Mouse has ever imagined) gave her pause.

It was, in short, heaven.

The summer months had left the temperature near to perfect and the waters had receded from the great pastoral valleys, leaving them open for exploration, picnics and gathering wildflowers.

Mouse found herself sleeping most nights with the door to the small balcony off her room open, the not so far-off sound of running water lulling her to sleep. The nightmares had not gone, a twisted version of a reality she’d lived, but she rarely woke up screaming anymore. Instead she came to with a racing heart and thin sheen of sweat decorating her skin. She was haunted by the voice of Palpatine, the flash of light as Fox fires on her, the image of him being lifted and strangled by the force wielding Anakin Skywalker. It still happens like clockwork, the dreams. She just no longer has it in her to scream.

The senator had noticed the deep circles under her eyes quickly. She was a good woman, Padmé, and while Mouse was unsure whether she’d call her a friend just yet she did know she enjoyed speaking with her. Upto the birth of the babies, they’d taken daily walks, short sojourns along the estate’s lands. It was often the time Padmé had her husband speaking with his healer. Mouse was eternally grateful, as she wasn’t comfortable in the Jedi’s presence. To have him walking with them through the millaflower fields would have soured the experience. She liked to think Padmé realized such things without her saying it. When she did speak of her husband, there was a carefulness to her words, as if she had to think each one out to paint him in his best light. Mouse hasn’t spoken about Fox to anyone, and she wonders if she did would she feel the need to tread carefully? She doesn’t think she would.

Mouse's relationship with Padmé changes after the birth of the babies a short two months after their arrival.

Luke and Leia join the galaxy on a stiflingly hot night during high summer. Heat lightning flashes and grumbles in the distance as the doctor works to bring the children safely into the world. They hadn’t planned for two. Anakin paced the room, like an agitated Nexu, checking in with his wife after each pass. Staff and visitors were at a minimum, so Mouse volunteered to help as she could. It was still a state of the art set-up, one fit for a former queen, senator, and much loved daughter of Naboo. There was little to be done but sit at the Senator’s side and blot her head with a cool cloth while she worked, grunting and pushing through the labor like tackling an obstacle in her way on the senate floor.

Leia comes first, a squalling indignant thing already full of life and the need to tell everyone about it. The nurse attending offers her to Anakin while Padmé continues to labor. Mouse sees the fear in his eyes as he shakes his head, his eyes already trailing back to his wife. Mouse holds the bundle of blankets and moves out of the way, gesturing for the young Jedi to take her place near his wife.

“She needs you.” She says softly, fighting back the urge to tremble in his presence.

“Ani?” Padmé’s voice rings out, for the first time uncertain. That’s all Skywalker needs to go to her side.

Mouse watches as he takes her hand in his, kisses her fingers, tells her she’s doing great, that she’ll be fine. It feels voyeuristic watching them so she focuses on the little girl in her arms, who stares up with bright blue eyes. Mouse melts.

Luke is the wildcard, the surprise no one knew to expect. He’d been hiding behind his sister until just days ago when her last scan had shown an extra heartbeat and an extra head. Now he was malpositioned and the doctor has to manually correct it. Padmé makes an awful, wounded noise but pushes nonetheless when she’s finally given the clear to. The boy makes his entrance as a bolt of lightning cuts through the sky and the lights flicker. He’s quiet, and smaller than his minutes-older sister. There’s a tense period where he makes no sound at all, and a collective breath is held until he begins to make a soft plaintive noise before he’s laid against his mother’s chest. Mouse offers the wrapped baby to the nurse and she soon joins her brother. Mouse has to turn away as Anakin leans in and kisses his wife.

When she sleeps that night there is no nightmare. She dreams of her own swollen belly, a baby kicking away while Fox’s strong arms wrap around her middle and hold her protectively. She can feel his full lips as they press against her temple. She can feel the rumble of his voice.

The beginning of our family, cyar’ika.

She wakes with a choked sob and doesn’t sleep the rest of the night.

—-

“Run it by me again, Chancellor.”

It felt like they’d been in the black forever. The jump to the small outer rim was no milk run. Fox glances out the window again as they break atmo and the black of space turns to the bright blue of Naboo’s sky. He was ready to be off the ship. He’d never tell his brothers, would rather die than admit it, but he hated hyperspace travel. It wasn’t just the jump in or the fall out of it either. It was the whole damn thing. It was unnatural. He was meant to have his feet on terra and that was all there was to it.

The itinerary had them making a quick stop in Theed to take on supplies, then another bit of travel - this time in the blue instead of the black - to reach their destination, the Lake District.

“Commander, relax. This is a pleasure cruise,” Bail enthuses smoothly, “nothing to worry about.”

“Then why me and not one of the other boys? Thire would have been fine for this.”

Bail rolls his eyes. “Thire is a stick in the mud and I much prefer your company and conversation.” Bail explains “I’m going to spend a couple days doting on my new godchildren and discussing a few matters with their lovely Senator mother, some of which you may have strong opinions about that deserve being heard.”

The last bit grabs Fox’s attention. “I don’t remember that being mentioned.”

“Oh I didn’t mention that some of your brothers will be meeting us for an impromptu - and off the books - meeting on clone personhood?”

Fox purses his lips undercover of his bucket. “No you hadn’t sir.”

Fox had learned quickly that Bail Organa’s style of governance was worlds different from the previous chancellors. The secrets Sidious kept had been dangerous to the republic, his vode and the Jedi in particular while Bail’s all seemed fairly benign and were really only used to surprise and throw Fox from a dour mood.

“Well it seems I must have forgotten to put it on the official itinerary for our visit.” The older man’s eyes sparkle with mischief.

“It seems you did, sir. I suppose it’s already been planned. It would be a shame to lose out on such an important meeting.”

Personhood. That was one of those dreams all clones shared but few ever mentioned. It seemed silly that it should even be an issue to begin with. If none survived the war it was a useless conversation to have, wasn't it? Now, with Sidious no longer pulling his dark strings, the Seppies were beginning to fall apart. They’d already fallen on Felucia and Utapau. General Grievous was dead and Count Dooku had gone to ground, but he couldn’t stay hidden forever. Maybe the idea of life after war wasn’t such a dream. It was tangibly within reach.

“Who’s joining us for this little shindig?”

Bail smirks again, “I’ve left the guest list to the Marshall Commander’s discretion.”

Fox can’t hide the excitement in his voice, “Cody?” It has been ages since he’d seen his ori’vod. Before the second battle of Geonosis and well before Mouse had -

Mouse.

Because that was a wound that refused to heal. Kriff - it wouldn’t even scab over! It merely festered and hurt like nothing else Fox had ever felt. Whoever had said out of sight, out of mind needed to keep their head on a swivel because Fox was pretty sure if he ever saw them he’d break their jaw.

Mouse was still a guest of the Senator’s. He wasn’t proud to say he’d been keeping tabs, but it was one of the only things that kept his anxiety at bay when it came to her. Unlike with Fives, the bottle didn’t seem to do it. The pair of times he’d taken to finding out what was in the bottom of a bottle of Corellian whiskey he’d found nothing but nightmares and guilt.

Bail gives him a smile as the ship comes in for a landing, the capital of Theed rising up around them, always warm and inviting.

Fox vows to try not to think of seeing Mouse. He breaks it in five minutes.

——

To say Padmé Amidala’s wardrobe was expansive was an understatement. Like saying Coruscant was home to a lot of people.

What had once been an entire guest suite had been turned into a makeshift dressing room and closet for the former queen. Padmé was unapologetic in regards to the sheer amount of clothing she possessed, explaining that it had been expected she never wear the same outfit twice and that, honestly, she just really liked clothes.

It made her more human in Mouse’s eyes, less like the self-possessed politician and more like the young woman she was underneath all the finery.

Mouse supports little Leia’s head as she dozes in the sling across her chest while Padmé does the same, bouncing slightly from side to side on her toes to calm a fussy Luke.

“How about this one?” Padmé questions, pointing to an ornate, layered gown. It reminds Mouse of a confection, fluffy and frosted with layers upon layers of petal pink fabric.

“A bit much for a dinner party? You think?”

Mouse had never had much in the way of fine things, had never really needed them, but when Padmé mentioned that the new Chancellor would be coming and she would really like her to come to the dinner she’d had Mouse help plan, well she really couldn’t say no. Now it was important to find something to wear. It seemed since Padmé was not quite ready to leave the concealing gowns of her early pregnancy behind, Mouse bore the burden of her need to dress and accessorize.

Padmé hums quietly to Luke as he begins to drift off. “You’re probably right. Maybe something a little smaller, more cocktail appropriate?”

Mouse isn’t entirely sure what that entails but she nods in agreement. She’s discovered that even a month and a half postpartum Padmé was still a force to be reckoned with when she got on something. Motherhood hadn’t softened her drive - if anything, it had brought it to new heights as she made plans and strived to make the galaxy a place where her children could grow and thrive.

They’d been spending more time together, Mouse becoming a makeshift mother’s helper while Padmé balanced new motherhood and keeping up with her senatorial duties. Anakin, Padmé had confided, was slow to take to fatherhood and while he seemed to love the twins, he became frustrated easily. He’d increased his visits with the healer, but Padmé wondered if part of it was the loss of Jedi Order. General Kenobi had visited a handful of times since they’d arrived, but Padmé worried it wasn’t the same.

She didn’t mention Sidious but when she spoke of betrayal and upheaval Mouse knew what she spoke of.

She felt bad thinking it, but Mouse wasn’t unhappy with the children’s father’s absence. His nearness to her still left her uncomfortable and remembering the way his eyes had glowed amber and the hate that had been etched into his features as he’d used the force to-

“Remind me again why this is important?” she asks as the new mother begins pulling out more dresses. Mouse works Leia from the sling and cradles her near while she ambles over to her nearby bassinet. Leia was the simpler of the two babies while Luke seemed to require a bit more coddling from his mother. She wondered in the personality differences between the two. She places a thin blanket over the sleeping babe before going back to the pile of dresses that had been laid out.

She holds a deep emerald green dress in front of her and Padme's brows knit together assessingly. “Next,” she chirps as Mouse grabs a blue dress that shimmers in the light flooding through the room's large windows. “Maybe pile. Definitely. Tonight is important because I said it’s important,” Padmé says digging back in the closet. “Obi and Cody arrived earlier this morning.” She glances one more time before sitting on a nearby settee. Luke is awake and beginning to fuss and Padmé quickly works open the front of her dress to allow the hungry infant to nurse. “Have you met General Secura?”

Mouse shakes her head ‘no.’ She’d heard of the twi’lek though and wonders if she might ask her some questions she had. She’d begun sponsoring little Me’kar and wondered what it would take to keep a child of another species in touch with her own heritage if she were to be adopted by a human. Not that she’d been thinking about adoption-

“You’ll like her. Her Commander Bly will be with her. They’re very… close.”

Mouse can read between the lines. Close. Close like she and Fox had been maybe? More so? She’d heard battle forged bonds that were unbreakable, maybe it also could form a love connection that could withstand the burdens of both war and the Jedi’s vows.

She and Fox hadn’t had anything so deep.

She tries the lie on herself again. It still doesn’t sit true. Maybe another hundred times and she’d start believing it.

“The Chancellor will be here in a few hours-“ As Padmé continues to speak, Mouse digs through the pile. A red dress, slick and satin smooth catches her eyes. The skirt feels cool under her fingers. Padmé stops mid sentence as Mouse works it from the pile. The neck is scooped shallow from shoulder to shoulder across where her collar bone would be and a thin golden chain connects the apex of the straps and offers to drape and dip low between her shoulder blades. It would do little to hide the scars on her left arm and shoulder, but Mouse wasn’t self conscious of them the way most would think. Though she could never speak of their true nature she didn't once regret them.

“- seven hells... I forgot about that one. It’s perfect,” Padmé enthuses, again reminding Mouse of truly how close in age they actually were. “Please, pick that one?” Luke grumbles as his mother’s bouncing interrupts his meal. “Hush sweetling,” she soothes.

“It is very pretty.” Mouse hums quietly as she holds the dress in front of her and turns in front of the mirror.

“Some earrings, a pendant maybe… oh a tiara!”

“Earrings will be fine I think.” Mouse can feel her cheeks heating up. Padmé chuckles softly. “What’s so funny?”

“I just realized that color matches the Coruscant Guard colors perfectly. I wonder what Commander Fox will think of it?”

Mouse feels the color drain from her face. Her voice comes out as an ungainly wheeze, “Fox?”

“Yeah, have you met?” Padmé is giving her a wondering look. “He’s not as bad as people make him out to be.”

“Oh- uh- we’ve met.”

“Really?”

There’s a twinkle in the senator’s eye, something that clues Mouse into the fact that the woman in front of her just maybe wasn’t as clueless to the state of her relationship with the Guard Commander as she let on.

“It’ll be nice to catch up or something won’t it?”

Mouse nods. Or something.

——

Fox feels a little cheated. All the times he’d accompanied Senator Amidala to her home world not once had she brought him to the Lake District. The Chancellor looks at home, unswayed by the beauty as he marches through the open halls with confidence. Maybe it was because he was Alderaanian, Fox thinks. He’s never seen the Chancellor’s home but he’d heard its beauty was unrivaled. After taking a glance out the tall transparisteel window looking out directly at one of a half dozen waterfalls he’s sure that it can’t be true.

“Sir? Should we wait for an escort?” Fox asks as Bail takes a sharp turn down another hall.

“No worries, Commander. If I know Padmé she’ll have set up shop in her office. The day is still young and she’ll be hard at work.”

“Sir, she’s just had a baby- two babies. Surely she’ll be taking it easy.”

Bail barks out a very unchancellor like laugh before he levels his eyes at Fox. “If she’s not in her office, I’ll eat my boots for dinner.”

“Laces and all?” Fox can’t help the way the corner of his mouth draws up, though he tries to smother it. Bail raps the back of his knuckles twice across the armor of Fox’s chest before pointing one finger at his face, his own smile broad and for the world to see.

“See, I knew that stick wasn’t as far up your ass as everyone says.”

“Don’t go telling everyone. I’ve got a image to maintain.”

Bail’s bark of laughter echoes down the hall. “And this is why you’re here and not Thire.”

It was new and fascinating to see the Chancellor in this different light, more relaxed than he ever was on Coruscant with its many eyes and wagging tongues. Not for the first time since he’s begun working closely with the Alderaanian, Fox thinks that he truly does enjoy his company.

Fox adjusts his bucket under his arm, hesitates for a moment as to whether he should replace it or continue to carry it. He’s not sure of the proper protocol in this situation. It was one he’d never been prepped for back on Kamino. What was one to do when addressing a senator on maternity leave in her palatial lake house?

He decides to leave it off and immediately wishes he’d put it on as they push through large wooden doors into the senators office. Like everything else, it’s beauty is unimagined. Sumptuous wooden bookcases filled with flimsy tomes fill the shelves, natural light spills in from windows showing off a pristine late afternoon lake with the sun just beginning to set behind the waterfalls surrounding it.

All of that fails to capture his attention because there’s his Mouse swaying gently from side to side smiling down at a cooing baby. Her hair pulled back into a messy bun with tiny tendrils escaping, framing her face in fly-aways.

Karking Naboo could get sucked up by a black hole for all he cares. Mouse is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen bathed in the warm glow of late afternoon sun spilling across the room.

She looks so relaxed, so natural cooing to the infant in her arms - until she looks up and catches him staring.

He doesn’t know what he was expecting but it wasn’t the look of surprise, her eyes thrown wide before cool indifference washes over her.

This wasn’t a holoromance. She wasn’t going to run into his arms and he wasn’t going to dip her low, kiss her passionately, and promise undying love. Not that he hadn’t thought it in that perfect split second moment of her inattention.

She holds the baby close, protectively as Bail moves to embrace Senator Amidala, herself holding an infant.

“Bail!” The young senator’s smile could light the senate halls for a standard rotation. “It’s so good to see you. I was just finishing up.” Fox pulls his eyes away from Mouse long enough to assess the amount of flimsy and datapads stacked across the senators desk. She was nowhere near done.

“And Commander Fox!”

He startles slightly as the petite force of nature insinuates herself in front of him.

“I’m so glad you could make it. Have you seen Cody yet? I know he was pleased when he heard you’d come.”

Fox shakes his head, his eyes drawing magnetically back to Mouse. He used to be able to read her like one of the flimsy books on the senators shelves but now? Now he doesn’t know what he’s seeing, a whole new language he has no experience translating .

“Commander” she offers after a moment, her voice tight but bright in a forced kind of way, “it’s good to see you. You look well.”

Fox swallows hard. “As do you. I hope your stay has been well?”

The infant in her arms turns and roots against the top of the plain dress she’s wearing and Mouse turns her attention away from him, mumbling some pleasantry dismissively. It feels like a slap in the face.

“I’ve got nothing for you sweet girl.” She hums to the baby who is beginning to make plaintive, angry noises, “Padmé I believe miss Leia is hungry again.”

The senator sighs quietly before moving to swap children. She looks at the two men in her presence. “You’ll have to excuse my children,” she jokes, “they don’t know the meaning of office hours yet.”

Bail gives a hearty laugh. “I’m shocked, with you as their mother.”

“They must get it from their Dad,” she offers cheekily, “Boundaries are not his strong point.” Fox watches as Mouse heads for the door with the other infant.

“I think I’ll go deposit this one in bed. Maybe he’ll get some sleep without his sister pestering him.”

Padmé nods as Mouse leaves and Fox fights the urge to follow after her. Like a child himself, he wants her attention. He runs a hand through his hair roughly as he watches the empty door frame willing her to come back. They could try again, start from scratch. He would put himself on his knees and beg for her forgiveness.

Something angry flares in his chest.

Commander Fox of the Coruscant Guard didn’t beg. No, Commander Fox was the man everyone looked to for leadership. He would not beg. He’d stand in front of her and dress her down like one of his petulant kits.

She didn’t get to just walk away from him, give him the cold shoulder. Did she not realize he sacrificed a bit of his soul just to send her here? That the wound it left became a little more infected each day?

No, she probably didn’t. She’d obviously moved on and he was the one that was left idling in the past.

——-

“Bail already knows his way around the estate, obviously.” Padmé laughs. The chancellor had excused himself a short while before and blatantly refused Fox when he’d attempted to follow after.

“I’m an old man,” he’d said though he was nowhere near the age Fox would seem old , “and I need a nap and a holo with my wife, neither of which I need your supervision for.”

That left Fox in the senator’s good company as she led him through various halls to the guest wing. Wonder that! A whole wing set aside for people who didn’t even live there. For a clone who’d spent the better part of his life bunking with dozens of brothers, the thought was beyond what he could comprehend.

Padmé readjusts the baby in her arms not for the first time as they talk.

“I could take the little biter for a few minutes if you’d like.” He offers not thinking she’ll take him up on the offer. Who would let a clone handle a baby that was damn near galactic royalty?

Apparently, Padmé Amidala.

“Oh that would be amazing!” She stops and turns toward him and before Fox really has a clear idea of what’s going on, he’s got an arm full of ik’aad.

Fox freezes for a moment and stares down at the little face staring back at him. Her eyes have a depth, he thinks, far beyond her few months. When he looks back to her mother, the senator is stretching her arms with a contented smile. Leia squirms in his grip.

“Well hello princess” he murmurs softly as he cradles her closer. She offers a gummy yawn in return and Fox is surprised he doesn’t melt into a puddle right there.

Padmé claps quietly. “Oh! You’re a natural!”

Fox gives her a lopsided smile. “She’s a baby, not a thermal detonator.”

When he glances up Fox sees just a flash, a far-off look in the senator's eyes. “You’d be surprised to know not everyone takes to it so easily. Maybe you’re just meant to be a father?”

“Padmé, you know that-“

“Screw the regulations,” she says with a steel to her voice he’s only heard a handful of times, “You’re not a droid. You're not a thing, and if it’s the last thing I do, the Republic will do right by the men we’ve made fight our war.”

Fox raises a brow. “You know, I was going to say it usually requires a partner to have a baby.”

Padmé’s face flushes a pretty shade of pink. “Well at least you know where I stand.”

“With all due respect, I’ve always known where you stood.”

The pair continue down the hall taking a sharp right before Padmé is pointing to a door.

“This one is yours,” she states as Fox begrudgingly passes Leia back to her mother. There was something incredibly soothing about holding the little girl and he misses that feeling the moment she’s gone.

Padmé points at other doors down the hall. “Commander Bly, General Secura, General Kenobi, Marshall Commander Cody…” she rattles off, pointing to a seperate room for each. She does a lousy job of biting back a smile as she points to the last door, conveniently across from his own. “Our little Mouse.”

Fox can’t help but shake his head. “I feel like I’m being set up.”

“You are,” Padmé agrees sagely.

“I regret to inform you, after earlier, I believe that ship has really and truly sailed, hit hyperspace even.”

Padmé gives him a skeptical look before peeking down at her daughter. “Men are the silliest creatures,” she educates the infant before glancing back up at Fox, “but not all of them are lost causes.”

Fox chuffs softly.

“I was once told that the Force controls everything around us,” Padmé says earnestly, “but as I’ve grown I’m not sure that’s true.”

He’ll bite. “Well what mystical force controls our destinies then?”

“Hope, Commander. All life,” she looks down at her daughter, her eyes shining when she looks back up, “is built on hope.”

#fox and mouse #commander fox/reader #commander fox #cc 1010 #tcw #star wars

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missmitchieg · 5 years ago

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Boys Love Girls & Boys (But Girls Do, Too)

Reggie groaned and scrubbed a hand over his face as he stood just outside of Julie’s bedroom, mentally preparing himself to have a talk with her. It wasn’t that he was nervous at all. He was totally fine. It was just a subject that was always a little bit uncomfortable for him, since he understood this thing about himself: He liked boys.

He did like girls! He liked girls a lot! He just happened to also like boys. A lot. Like, a lot, a lot. He was pretty sure now that his first crush on a boy was when he was 12. It was a kid at school named Cody, who Reggie just thought was the coolest guy ever. He was a year older than Reggie and his parents let him stay up until 11 PM and not to mention how funny and how cute he was. There had even been quite a few crushes after Cody’s parents moved away to Wisconsin. None of which his best friends, and definitely not his parents, knew about. None of which he really understood at the time were crushes. Well, he sure did now.

This really wasn’t something he could just casually talk to his parents about back then if he had known. Not when he’d heard the awful way they both thought about gay people and how they “ruin everything and just want to watch the world go up in flames“. Not when he’d seen the way their faces grew disgusted and angry whenever something on TV had a gay character or two. So yeah, talking to his parents was absolutely out of the question when it came to this.

He didn’t even know if he would really feel comfortable talking to the guys about it, either. He knew they were his friends, and he trusted them and loved them, but when they were alive, he could never really make himself talk to them about it. Not even after Alex had told them he was gay. So he decided to just not think about his attraction to boys. Ever. He liked girls and that was that.

And then they died. Then Julie came along, and suddenly it wasn’t 1995 anymore. It was 2020 and everything seemed to be so different now. Maybe now, things were better than they used to be. Maybe now, he could put a word to his feelings. If not, he still got to spend some time with Julie, who he saw as somewhat of a little sister to him now.

So now here he was, lifting a fisted hand to knock on Julie’s bedroom door. He bit his lip as he was about to knock and sighed shakily, blinking back another tear. He shook his head and knocked on the door, scratching the back of his neck as he waited for Julie to answer the door and let him in.

“Guys?“ He heard Julie call, steeling himself to actually do this. “I-it’s just Reggie.“ He answered quickly, putting on a weak smile when she opened the door with a grin. “Hey, Reg- Woah, you ok?“ She asked, her smile dropping when she saw how stressed Reggie was looking. “What’s going on?“

“What? Oh, um- No, I’m fine. Just, I had something I wanted to talk about.“ He said as he rubbed his eyes, walking in when she stepped aside. “It’s just- Um, it’s awkward and I’m kind of nervous.“ He said and sat on the edge of the bed after asking for permission to with a look.

“So-” Reggie bit his lip and picked a spot on the wall to stare at, wringing his hands. “So boys like girls, right? And girls like boys. But sometimes girls like girls, and boys like boys.“ He started, making Julie quirk an eyebrow and place a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Yes?“ She said slowly, tilting her head. “Reggie, what’s this about?“

Well, he guessed now was as good a time as ever to just come out and say it. He opened and closed his mouth twice over and sighed, looking up at Julie. “I don’t know if there’s a word, in 2020, for what I am, but I know I like both boys and girls.“ He admitted softly and leaned into Julie’s comforting touch. “I’ve been feeling this way since, um, I think I was 12.“

Julie paused and took in Reggie’s words, her eyes softening as she watched him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. “Me, too.“ She said after she pulled away, looking down at her pink, purple and blue threaded bracelet. “Um, the word for that is bisexual. I’m bisexual.“ She smiled, playing with her bracelet. “Flynn made me this bracelet with the bisexual pride colors after I came out to her.“ She said, playing the memory back in her head.

After a minute or so of silence from Reggie, she looked up at him in concern. “Reggie?“ She asked softly, seeing him staring at that spot on the wall again. “Hey, tell me what you’re thinking, buddy?“ Reggie looked up and blinked, shaking his head a little. “Sorry. Sorry. Just, um- It’s all just a lot to process. I haven’t thought about this since I was alive.“ He told her, messing with his flannel sleeves.

“Can I ask what made you think about it now?“ Julie asked and sat next to Reggie, making him blush and cover his face. “Alex and I were teasing Luke about his crazy chemistry with you and- It was a joke!” He said quickly when he saw the slight glare Julie was giving him. “And he wanted to prove that he had chemistry with everyone so he started singing to me and he did this thing where he grabbed my neck and kissed his fingers and pressed them against my lips and I froze for a second, and-“ Reggie groaned, looking at his hands in his lap.

“And it made you feel something.“ Julie said simply with a nod. Reggie nodded, too, grimacing a little. “But I don’t like Luke, like, in that way! He’s totally yours, Jules!“ He assured her and shuddered. “He’s just my best friend. It’s just in that moment when he-“ He mimed grabbing something, kissing his fingers and holding them in the air, mimicking Luke’s actions. “It kind of gave me butterflies and made me remember some crushes that I had on boys when I was a kid. But I don’t think I knew at the time they were crushes.”

“I think a lot of us don’t really recognize crushes we had as kids as crushes. It’s just a gay/bi kid thing, you know?“ Julie said with a little laugh, leaning her head on Reggie’s shoulder. “So... You think you wanna tell the guys?“ She asked, staring at the same spot Reggie was staring at before feeling him tense up slightly. “Oh... That. Right.“ Julie looked up, watching him curiously. “It’s not that I don’t want to tell them that I’m, um, bisexual.“ He started, still getting used to calling himself that. “Just- Nevermind. It’s really stupid.“

Julie stood up in front of Reggie and grabbed his face in her hands gently, shaking her head with a stern look in her eyes. “Hey! Hey. No. None of that. Whatever it is, it’s not stupid, Reggie. Whatever it is, it’s how you feel and it’s completely valid.“ She said in a gentle voice, pushing Reggie’s hair back. “If you don’t feel like you’re ready to tell them yet for any reason, you absolutely do not have to. It’s your choice and your right to tell them or not tell them.“

Reggie blinked and stared at Julie with wide, unsure eyes. No one had ever said anything like that to him and he didn’t think anyone had given him a reassurance with as much certainty as Julie just had... Ever. "Really?“ He asked softly and bit his lip, his eyes searching Julie’s face for any hint of a lie or uncertainty, finding none. Julie frowned but nodded and wrapped the ghost she’d come to see as her brother in a tight hug, burying her face in his neck when she felt him return the hug just as tightly.

She pulled away after a while and smiled at Reggie, sitting next to him again. “Whenever you’re ready, you know I’ll be right there with you, Reg.” She said, solidifying the claim with the same pointer promise she would always do with Ray. “Because you’re like my other brother and I always want to be there to support you, in everything.” Reggie smiled a little and nodded, keeping their fingers linked.

”It’s just- I know the guys love me, right? And I know they’ll be fine with the fact that I’m bisexual. It’s just this one little part of me that wonders what if they’re not. You know? Because the way my parents and some other people talked about gay people was so awful and mean and-“ Reggie frowned and shook his head, not wanting to relive the moments like that. “A-and just that it’s so new to me. I mean, I never even knew there was a word for it. Or that I wasn’t the only one.“

“Yeah. I totally get it. I was SO scared to come out to Flynn and dad. It was so hard, until it actually happened. I came out and then I felt free.” Julie nodded in understanding at every word out of Reggie’s mouth, getting an idea as she looked up at him. “So. You wanna watch some more Adventure Time before band rehearsal starts in an hour?“ She asked and reached for the remote, giggling when he perked up and nodded instantly. She turned the TV on and flipped to Cartoon Network, happily settling down to watch her current favorite cartoon with her big brother.

It wasn’t until two weeks later that Reggie got the feeling in his chest that he was ready to come out to the boys. They were halfway through rehearsing for a gig Flynn booked them like the awesomest manager ever that she was. They had started perfecting Reggie and Alex’s back up vocals in their newest song when Reggie stopped, took a breath and stepped toward Julie, nodding his head silently.

Julie felt an excited grin grow on her face as she turned to face Luke and Alex, signaling to cut the music. Alex furrowed his eyebrows but nodded and looked at Luke, who just shrugged in response. “Something wrong, boss?“ He asked, gently tucking a curl behind Julie’s ear, making her blush. “Hey, no. Nothing’s wrong. Reggie just has something important he wants to share.“ She assured him with a sweet smile and took Reggie’s hand in hers, giving him a gently supporting squeeze.

Alex looked at Reggie, recognizing something in his eyes. Anxiety. Excitement. Worry. Pride. Oh, this was definitely something big. He stood up quickly and walked toward him, watching his body language closely. “What’s going on, bro?“ He asked, laying an equally comforting and supporting hand on his shoulder while Luke gave him a smile.

Reggie smiled and squeezed Julie’s hand back, leaning into Alex’s touch. “I just really wanted you guys to know, because you guys are my best friends in the world and I love you, that I’m... I like both boys and girls. You know there’s a word for that now? I’m bisexual.“ He said, letting out a breath and feeling his shoulders relax themselves. Wow. Julie was right. This really did feel like freedom. His smile widened as he looked at Julie, who was grinning proudly at him.

“I’m bisexual, too.“ She told them, fiddling with the pride bracelet around her wrist. “That’s why I have this bracelet Flynn made for me. It’s the bisexual pride colors.“ She said, smiling down at it. “Julie? You think you can ask Flynn to make one for me, too?“ Reggie asked, admiring the bracelet freely now. “Can she make me a rainbow one? I have this thin, tiny one, but it’s nowhere near as good as yours.“ Alex asked, gesturing to his thin, barely there rainbow bracelet.

Julie let out a giggle and nodded quickly, making a mental note to ask her for one as soon as possible. “Of course, Alex. We got you, bro.“ Alex grinned thankfully and nodded, squeezing Reggie’s shoulder. “And hey. You know we love you, Reggie. You’re our best friend. Our brother. Our fourth band mate. And you’re the best bassist in the afterlife. We love you no matter what.“ He promised.

“And we love you, too, Julie. You know I see you as my little sister.“ Julie smiled at Alex and hugged him tightly, kissing his cheek. “I know. And you and Reggie are the best big brothers ever.“ She said happily before pulling away and looked at Luke. “Hey, you’ve been awfully quiet, guitar boy.“ She noticed, taking Reggie’s hand again. “What’s on your mind?“

Luke blinked and shook his head, flashing Julie and Reggie a grin. “Sorry. Just thinking.“ He mumbled, stepping closer to them. “But guys, you know I love you both like crazy. Reg, like Alex said, you’re our best friend. Our brother. Our fourth band mate. And you’re the best bassist in the afterlife. We love you no matter what.” He said seriously. Reggie looked at him and nodded slowly with a smile. “I love you, too.“ He said, pressing their foreheads together.

“And Julie. Jules, you’re you.“ He turned to Julie with a smile, making Reggie laugh into Alex’s shoulder. Julie giggled and blushed, hugging Luke tightly. “What I mean is, Julie, Reggie, you have to know how important you both are to us. Nothing will ever change that. Ever.“ He said, rubbing circles in Julie’s back with a sweet smile. “I said that when Alex came out to us back in the 90′s and now I’m saying it to you two.“

Reggie smiled at hearing the familiar words now directed at him and Julie, wrapping his arms around Alex and Julie tightly. “You guys are my best friends in the world. I love you guys so much.“ He said happily, looking around at his best friends, his band, his family. “We love you, too.“ Julie said and sniffled, wiping a tear. “Oh, no. I’m crying.“

Luke chuckled shakily and blinked, wiping his eyes on his arm. “I think we’ve all been crying for a while.“ He said, unwrapping an arm from Julie and wrapping it around Alex. “God, we’re all so sappy.“ He joked, making everyone laugh. “Hey, our brother coming out is good reason to get sappy and cry a little.“ Alex said with a smile. “I agree. But I think we should get back to rehearsal soon. Big gig next week.“ Reggie said after a minute of quiet hugging and pulled away, walking back to his mic stand.

Everyone nodded and went back to their places with big grins on their faces, happily getting back into rehearsing the song. After another hour, they decided they were done with rehearsal for the day and sat down on the couch, Reggie and Julie in the middle, Alex to the left of Reggie and Luke to the right of Julie. They had started talking about everything and nothing when Luke looked up at Reggie curiously, tilting his head. “Hey, Reg? What was it that made you realize you were bisexual?“ He asked.

Reggie looked up and blushed, glancing up at Luke. “Um, I had some crushes on boys when I was alive. Since I was 12. I was just scared because I heard things people would say, so I just didn’t think about it. And then we all died and met Julie and, um, what made me think about it again was the day you were trying to prove that you had chemistry with everyone you sing with and you-“ He mimed kissing his fingers and pressing them against something. “-and I kind of had a bi panic.“ He said, cringing a little now.

“Wait, I made you spiral into a sexuality crisis?“ Luke asked with a smirk, making Reggie groan. “Luke. You were part of it, but I don’t like you like that. You’re my brother and you’re Julie’s.“ Reggie said, gesturing to Luke’s arm around Julie’s shoulders. “But, um. Yeah. You kinda made me spiral so I went to Julie and we talked and came out to each other two weeks ago and then you now and that’s the story.“ He shrugged, leaning his head on Julie’s shoulder.

“Can we go back to talking about Julie’s bracelet making phase now?“

#julie and the phantoms #julie molina #reggie molina #alex molina #luke patterson #jatp fanfic

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writer1 · 5 years ago

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Fear of the unknown

Chapter 5

Rex is laying in his bed, you lying on his chest. You both had fallen asleep during the third holo-movie, Rex waking up not long after it ended. He's glad to be awake to see you like this, he finds you absolutely adorable.

The way your laying on his chest, head right where you can hear his heart beat. You're mouth is closed and he can hear your steady breathing. Your one hand clenching his shirt.

He's got his arms wrapped around you. He's so grateful to have you here with him, he expected you to leave as soon as you found out he was a werewolf. It's not that he doesn't trust you, but he still doesn't understand how you could still love him even though he's a monster.

He chuckle's when he thinks about how angry you get when he calls himself that, you are so protective of him. He doesn't know what he would do if you weren't here. He still scared of everything but having you here makes it better, he still doesn't know how he's going to explain this to Cody. He asked General Kenobi not to tell him, wanting to explain it to his ori'vod himself.

He has no idea how Cody is going to react to him being a werewolf, Cody probably wouldn't believe it until he sees it. Which means Rex might have to transform in front of Cody to make him believe it.

He is not excited for that. At all. If Cody is anything like Fives, he'll probably scream like a little girl, that will at least be hilarious. And if he has Artoo there, some damn good blackmail.

Rex looks down at you, he can't believe that the both of you fell asleep so early, it must've been from all the stress of the past few days. He checks the time and notices that it's evening, he wonders if he should wake you to eat but thinks better of it, deciding to get you food once you wake up on your own.

He's laying there for a few minutes, starting to doze off again when he hears you start to wake up. He looks down and see's your eyes start to flutter, you open them and yawn, looking up at him.

"Have a good nap, cyare." You smile, crawling up so that you can give him a kiss.

"Yeah, it was nice. How about you." He smiles at you, he's much more relaxed than before.

" It was good, considering everything." You smile as you stand up and stretch, ready to get some food. You're starving.

"Well we better get up Rex, I'm ready for supper." He stands up to, stretching his muscles out.

"Kriff!" You turn to Rex, wondering what would be wrong.

"I forgot my armor in the barracks."

"It's fine Rex, we can stop at the barracks before we head to the mess, okay." You both head to the barracks, Rex putting his armor on before going to the mess. When you get in there, Fives and Jesse wave at you both from their table. You grab your food and head over to them, sitting across from them.

"Hey, where have you two been." You smile at Fives, taking a bite of your food, ignoring the bland taste.

"Rex was given the day off so we went to his room and watched some holo-movie's." Five's smiles at you both, him and Jesse share a look.

"That's nice, General Skywalker and General Kenobi informed us of the situation. So you're going to be joining us, y/n."

"Yes." He looks excited and so does Jesse, you wonder why. They are your friends but you didn't think that they'd be this excited.

"That's good, hopefully you can cook for us now on missions." Ah, you realize, that's why he's so excited. He's excited to eat your cooking instead of this tasteless food.

"Oh, if that's all I am to you. And I thought that we were friends." You fake a hurt look, almost laughing at Fives and Jesse's upset looks. Rex is holding back laughter, he knows that you're faking it.

"No... No of course we're your friends. We're just as happy about having you here as we are about your cooking." You find it cute that they're trying to comfort you, so you decide to just tell them the truth.

"I'm just joking guys, I know that we're friends and I'll definitely do my best to cook some tasty food for you." They breath sighs of relief, and start chuckling at your joke.

"We should have known since Rex wasn't mad at us for hurting your feelings." Fives is right, if your feeling's really had been hurt then Rex definitely would have been mad, he's very protective of you.

"I can't believe you'll be on missions with us y/n, this is going to be fun." You can hear how excited Jesse is and you definitely agree with him, it's going to be interesting to say the least.

"I'm sure it will be." You smile at them when Rex leans over to whisper in your ear.

"You are finally going to see what I have to deal with, cyare." You chuckle at Rex, he's told you how crazy the boys can get on missions, and you're finally going to see exactly how crazy they are.

"I feel bad for you, cyare. You're going to be the only female among us." He smiles at you but you can see a little bit of the pain behind it, He still misses Ahsoka. It's only been two months since she's left but you still remember how upset he was, and still is. You remember how upset the whole 501st was to lose their little sister.

"I bet you money Commander Tano would be all over your Wolf form, you know how much she loves hair." Fives jokes, trying to bring the mood back up. It works, making everyone laugh. You remember how much Ahsoka loved touching different kinds of hair, you remember out of all the times you met her she'd always end up petting your hair.

"She definitely would." Rex agrees, he's happier but still a little bit sad, which is understandable. You lean over and kiss his cheek, Fives and Jesse both snickering before Rex stops them with a glare. At least he's been calm since his little freak out earlier, he hasn't transformed at all since then.

"Oh, Fives, do you mind getting a gunship to take me back to Coruscant tomorrow. I need to grab my things and tell my job that I won't be working for them anymore."

"Sure, I'll get one ready first thing tomorrow." You've got a lot to do tomorrow, you have to grab your things from your apartment, tell your boss that you won't be working there anymore. Make sure your landlord knows that you won't be living there 24/7.

"You're in charge tomorrow Fives, since I'll be going with, y/n." You turn towards Rex.

"You don't have to do that Rex, I can go by myself." Rex just shakes his head, turning and kissing your forehead.

"I want to come with you, it'll be fun." You shake your head, finding Rex adorable.

"I'm sure that it won't be fun, but if you want to." It's going to be tiring tomorrow with all the stuff you have to do. You can't wait to get it over and done with.

"I'm sure Rex just wants to get away from us, don't you Rex." You laugh at Fives, you know that he's right. Rex nods his head, not even trying to lie.

"Absolutely." Fives grabs his chest, right where his heart is.

"That hurts, Vod. That really hurts." You love watching Rex interact with his brothers, it's always hilarious but adorable at the same time.

You and Rex are both done eating so you decide to head back to his quarters, saying goodbye to Fives and Jesse.

"You to better call me next time you watch a holo-film. I love those."

"Don't worry Jessie, we will." You both turn around and leave hearing Fives call you guys.

"Me too!" You smile, Fives and Jesse are some of your best friend's, actually pretty much all your friends are clones, and you wouldn't have it any other way.

As you and Rex are walking down the hall you run into General Skywalker.

"Y/n, I've been meaning to talk to you."

"What is it General." You're confused, you don't know what the General would want to talk to you about.

"I already told you two, call me Anakin. But I had it arranged so that you can just stay with Rex while on leave. I didn't think that it would make sense for you to continue paying for an apartment when you'll hardly ever live in it." You can hardly believe it, you run over and give gener... Anakin a hug.

"Thank you so much, you didn't have to do that... Is it even allowed?" Anakin smiles mischievously.

"Not exactly... But I pulled a few strings, do did Obi Wan." You step away, so thankful that you can just keep living with Rex instead of having to go to your apartment during leave. Yes, Rex can come to your apartment but this is just so much easier.

"Thank you, sir." You laugh at Anakin's exasperated face, Rex still won't call him Anakin but you'll help.him get there.

"You're welcome Rex, we'll be shipping back out the day after tomorrow so make sure that y/n has everything she needs." You smile, Anakin is definitely one of the sweetest Jedi you've ever met.

"Yes, sir. We're going to get her things tomorrow."

"Good, I'll talk to you to later. I'll be off the ship until tomorrow night, I've got some business to attend to." You wonder what kind of business the Jedi would have, you forget about it when Rex grabs your hand and starts walking to his quarters again. You know that tomorrow is going to be exhausting but it will be worth it to live with Rex.

Taglist:

@captainrexisboo @tobitofunction @pentaghasm @ohmsjedi @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @ellie1366 @marine-captain-deku @reimet

#star wars clone wars #captain rex #my writing #wererex au #werewolf clones au #wererex #wererex x reader #captain rex x reader #rex x reader #werewolf rex au #Werewolf rex x reader

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youngcheesecaketale · 4 years ago

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Clonetober #10 Commander Fox’s Training

Today was a BIG and IMPORTANT day for Commander Fox. He was going to help train the new Batch of Coruscant Guard Brothers’s K9 Unit. He didn’t do it alone. He had Senator Riyo Chuchi to help him. She also knows how to train a Massiff. She has one that she named (with help with Fox help because they are secretly married. I will tell you guys later on how they got married) “ Peanut Butter” because when he was little, he would lick the Peanut Butter jar when every Fox forgot to put the lid back on. Just imagine a little Massiff puppy getting his face in the Peanut Butter jar and seeing it all over his face with those CUTE little PUPPY EYES! Those EYES are so hurt to look at that you can’t get mad at him for something he did wrong. Riyo knows because after Peanut Butter chewed on one of Fox’s boots. Fox was about to give Peanut Butter a lesson but it didn’t help when he told him that he was a bad boy when he saw to PUPPY EYES. At time Fox didn’t have his helmet on so he couldn’t stop himself by looking at those BIG PUPPY EYES. Plus, he would give Peanut Butter some dinner scraps when ever Riyo wasn’t looking.

Know that you got the idea of the story, it’s now time for me to tell you have the training went. I got some ideas on what names I should use tag: @bloom-domino-akrum who came up with some suggestions on what names that I could use for the Clones and their Massiffs in this story. I’m still trying to figure out how to tag people in my stories. Anyway, here are the names of the Clones and their Massiffs. (Note to self, I will put the Clone name first and then their Massiff and secondly, I did not know that Massiffs were reptiles in Star Wars. So saying that, I’m just going to call them Canines.

First we have Scout and Spike. Those two are just like Peanut Butter. Always getting in to trouble. When ever they do something wrong (When Spike tore apart Fox’s report papers to give to the Chancellor Bail Organa who is now Chancellor) would always give Fox the Puppy Eyes. Scout learned how to do it too so in other words, it was hard for them to get away with not getting into trouble.

Second we have Claw and Thrasher. Those two are a little bit crazy but in a good way were they get so excited whenever they were going to practice taking down a Criminal. Also, Claw got his name because Thrasher got so excited when he was playing on the floor with Claw who was sitting on the floor that Thrasher accidentally scratched Claw in the face. So that how Claw got his name and why he name his Massiff Thrasher.

Third we have have Justice and Rogue. Justice got his name because after Chancellor Palpatine was arrested and that all the Clones had their Chips remove, he wanted Justice. He would keep on, and on, and on about what Senator Commander Fox should do to Palpatine. Plus, he also thought that since Fox was a now a Senator, he could have Fox make every Tuesday to be “TACO TUESDAYS!”. Unfortunately, that idea didn’t happen because Fox HATES TACOS. They reason why he hates them is because when he was a small Cadet on Kamino, Cody and Rex would put Cayenne Pepper in his Tacos. Since then, he has never liked Taco. He won’t eat any Tacos when ever Riyo cooks with makes him sad because he ALWAYS loves what she cooks for him yet he is still a bit traumatize just think about them. Now the reason why Justice named his Massiff “Rogue” is because when he went to the Pet Store to get one, he found out that he was lucky to find one. Every since one of a Famous Movie Star or a Famous Person got something, EVERYONE would want that same thing. As he looked at him, he said the little Massiff Puppy, “Well..It looks like your the only ONE I’ve been able to find so far. So in that case, do you want to come and be my partner?”. After he said that, the little Massiff Puppy got so excited that it wagged his but in the air and barked. That’s how Justice named him Rogue because he was the last ONE he could find.

WARNING: THIS LAST CLONE AND HIS MASSIFF MIGHT MAKE YOU CRY. YOU JUST BEEN WARRED! READ IF YOU DARE OR you know what just read it! Since you guys like my stories so far, it would be hard to stop right here and not know who the Last CLONE and his MASSIFF are.

Last we have Cuff and Alley. How those two met is so sweet that it might make you cry when you read it. Cuff was a great Coruscant Guard Clone. He had the most number of putting “handcuffs” on Criminals (I don’t mean to brag but he actually put more handcuffs on Criminals then Fox did.) that that’s how he got his name. Since Fox was jealous of Cuff for getting more handcuffs on Criminals that he had Cuff reassigned to the K9 Unit. After he got move to his new Calling, he went to find a Massiff at one of the Pet Stores near by. Unfortunately, he didn’t find any Massiff at any of the Pet Stores on Coruscant. As he walking back to Coruscant Jail to tell Commander Fox that he couldn’t find any Massiffs at the Pet Stores here on Coruscant, he heard a small whimper coming from one of the Alleys. He carefully walking down the Alley where the sound was coming from. As he was walking, he could hear the whimpers getting louder and louder. He finally stopped when it was coming from a small cardboard box. When he looked inside the box, he was shocked. In the box was a tiny Massiff puppy shivering from the cold water from a broken pipe that was dripping on her. She was also hunger. Cuff’s heart started to melt after seeing her shaking. He picked her up placing her in his arms and took her back to Coruscant Jail to show Fox and the others what he found, he was trying to figure out what to Call her. Since he found her in a Alley, he decided to name her that cause that was the only name that popped in head as he was carrying her. As he was walking back to the base still holding her, she was trying to climb on his chest but was too weak to climb on him. Once he saw that she was trying to get up closer to him, he stopped and reposition her that she basically had her whole body on his neck. That how small she was. After they got back to the base, she was being checked out by one of the Coruscant Guard Clone Medic. He told Cuff that she might not make it through the night but that didn’t stop him on giving up on her. He picked her up and took her to his quarters where he took care of her and thinking that this might be his last time he would be able to spend time with her. He took of his chest plate and lay down. He put her on his chest having her head on his neck and put a blanket on her to keep her extra work. He also fed her every 2 hours. He wanted to let her know that she was being loved as she was going passing away that night but she didn’t want to go. She started to show him that she still had some strength to get through the night and she did. Each day she slowly was getting better that soon she was healthy and ready to start her training.

After I told you those Clones and their Massiffs, I’m just going to say that all of them pass their training and their test. They were FINALLY part of the Coruscant Guard Clone Family. I did want to mention that after they all passed their test, Thrasher had to pee SO bad that he accidentally peeing on Commander Fox’s thinking he was a FIRE HYDRANT. After he did that, there was NO WAY that Thrasher’s PUPPY EYES would work this time even if he learned it from Spike. Thrasher was in so much trouble but Fox wasn’t TOO hard on him because for a Massiff has to go, IT HAS TO GO no matter what. I should also mention that Fox DID have his HELMET on when Thrasher peed on him. Those helmets help block out some of the light on the Massiff’s PUPPY EYES but it doesn’t work when ever Senator Riyo Chuchi guys him her BIG PUPPY EYES as she is looks at Fox.

Thank you for reading my Clonetober Story! I would like thanks @bloom-domino-akrum for helping what coming up with some names for the Clones and their Massiffs. Hope you guys in joy this story.

#clonetober2021

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neerasrealm · 5 years ago

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I loved your latest LJxReader so could we have a pt.2 please? When y/n go on a date with him? :D

Y’ALL WANT MORE??? I’M MORE THAN HAPPY TO PROVIDE! It’s actually really interesting to explore the dynamic of the creeps trying to hide the fact that they’re killers/monsters. Writing stuff like this is fun! and also LJ interacting with people he knows is just. fun. building tiny side characters is fun.

Any moment now…

Aaaaany moment now

…

AAAANNNYYY MOMENT NOWWWW-

Damn. That didn’t work? And you were so sure saying that over and over again in your head would make your date suddenly appear from thin air. Darn.

You’re stood on a street corner, patiently waiting for your date. You look calm, but inside you’re buzzing with excitement. You’re head over heels for this guy. He’s tall, cute, funny and has the cutest accent. His smile is to die for and just thinking of it makes your stomach do flips. He’s definitely a catch, and you feel like the luckiest fisherman at the- er- dock? On the boat? I- I don’t know...this analogy is weird.

But anyway! You’re excited for this. It’s just coffee, a simple meetup, but it feels like your wedding day or something. It’s also pretty big. You’re gonna be seeing him outside of his costume for the first time. He’s a performer! And a good one at that. Just another thing that makes him amazing.

As you’re debating texting him again, you hear someone calling your name. You look up and see him. He’s tall, with wispy black hair. He’s….still in costume. A grey crop top, bandages covering his torso, denim shorts, striped socks and sleeves, and a striped cone shaped nose. He waves at you from above the crowd and almost- slithers- his way through it and over to you. He grins as he jogs up, one of his hands tucked behind his back. You smile at him, cocking a brow. ‘’y/n!’’ he greets cheerfully.

‘’Hey Jack.’’ you look him over. ‘’You’re...still in costume?’’

‘’Huh? Oh- oh yeh, er-’’ he fidgets for a moment, rocking on his heels. ‘’Sorry abou’ tha’...I ‘ad a gig booked las’ minu’e an’ I didna wanna cancel on ye so-’’ he shrugs. ‘’Sorry.’’

Normally you would be mad. But you fell in love with this guy in his costume, so a date with him in it isn’t the end of the world. ‘’It’s fine.’’ you smile at him. He seems to relax.

‘’Ah- good, good. Er-’’ he pauses for a second and pulls his arm out from behind his back. ‘’I brough’ ye these.’’

He holds out a bouquet of the most beautiful yellow begonias you’ve ever seen. You take it from him and sniff the flowers. They smell sweet, and fresh. Your heart does flips and somersaults in your chest. You knew Jack was a sweet guy, and you already liked him a lot, but flowers? On the first date? He’s more perfect than you thought. Your smile widens to a grin. ‘’Thank you.’’ you murmur up at him. His cheeks flush pink beneath his face paint and he laughs gently.

‘’I-i’s nofink. I’m glad ye like ‘em…’’ he rubs at his arm nervously. He’s such a sweetheart- he looks at you and smiles slightly. ‘’Er um- so- ye wanna ge’ sum coffee?’’

You nod. ‘’Coffee sounds good.’’

Jack nods back, and then holds out his hand. You take it, your fingers intertwining with his. His hand feels bony and almost...old. The bandages around his hand feel soft, and you can’t help but notice they look brighter than usual, like he just put on fresh ones. His hand is also way bigger than yours. You never noticed that before. Internally, you wonder if he is actually as tall as he is- he...seems shorter today? Or maybe you just remembered him as taller. He’s still fairly tall though, maybe 6’3.

‘’Somefin’ wrong?’’ he looks down at you. Shit, he noticed you staring didn’t he? You blush.

‘’No, it’s nothing.’’ you smile up at him. ‘’So where are we going? Did you have a place in mind?’’

‘’Oh! Er- no- was I suppos’ta?’’ he looks worried for a second. You laugh gently.

‘’No, I just assumed you planned to take me somewhere specific.’’

‘’Hm...well- I do know this li’le place tha’s real nice. We could go there?’’

You squeeze his bony hand and nod. ‘’Lead the way.’’

The two of you walk through the city. Jack is as cheerful and funny as usual, but still extremely flustered. His cheeks stay a soft pink while he tells you funny stories from his past performances and his misadventures through the years. It seems he gets around a lot. You can’t help but admire that- Jack is the kind of person who likes to always seek out new things and go where the fun is. He’s exciting, and you love it. You can’t help but smile smugly to yourself when you realise how lucky you are to have snapped him up before someone else did.

‘’Ere we are.’’ he stops suddenly and you look up. In front of you is a small coffee shop called ‘Sherlock’s’. The sign atop the door sports a silhouette of what you assume is Sherlock Holmes. Through the window you can see racks of cakes, and plenty of people inside. The tiny shop must be awful popular. He grins at you. ‘’This place is th’ best, I’ve been comin’ ‘ere fer donkey’s ears.’’

You step inside, with Jack following you. You barely hear the bell above the door chiming over the sound of people talking. The inside is bigger than you initially thought. The walls are wooden and decorated with all kinds of knick knacks and even a book shelf over in the corner. There’s an old gramophone over in another corner playing old-fashioned music. Towards the back there’s stairs leading up to a second floor, and the entire place smells of rich coffee and freshly baked pastries.

‘’Jack!’’

You’re snapped back to attention by somebody calling your date’s name. A woman with frizzy black hair and glasses steps out from behind the counter. She dusts off her navy apron and rushes forward. Jack steps forward and the two of them hug tight. He chuckles at her. ‘’Ow’ya, Rosie.’’ he greets her like an old friend. She steps away from him and gives him a stern look, her hands on her hips.

‘’You haven’t been here in over a week! We were getting worried!’’ she chides. She gestures to a couple other employees behind the counter. They laugh at her and shake their heads.

‘’Ey lads.’’ Jack smiles at them before turning to Rosie again. He pats her head like she’s a child. ‘’Sorry luv. I wuz busy!’’

‘’When aren’t you busy?’’ she mutters, shaking her head. ‘’You’re going to be nothing but skin and bone if you keep avoiding us! Honestly! And what about Cody and Junior, hm? I haven’t seen those boys in forever! Not to mention Sally!’’

Jack laughs again. ‘’Awrigh’, awrigh’. I’ll drop in more often, I promise, an’ I’ll bring th’ boys wiv me.’’ he turns to look at you. ‘’I did bring some’ne wiv me though.’’

‘’Hm?’’ Rosie tilts her head and looks over at you. Her stern expression softens to a smile. ‘’Oh! A new friend of yours?’’

Jack laughs sheepishly. ‘’Eh- yeh, yeh,’’ he clears his throat and gestures for you to come closer. Bemused, you join him by his side. ‘’y/n, this is Rosie. I’ve known ‘er since she wuz jussa basin ‘f gravy!’’ he laughs gently. You have no idea what that means, but you shake Rosie’s hand to be polite.

‘’It’s nice to meet you.’’ you murmur. Rosie smiles.

‘’Nice to meet you too!’’ she looks up at Jack. ‘’They a new member of the family?’’

‘’Eh- er- n-nah no’ really um-’’ Jack fidgets a bit. ‘’They’re eh- me da’e.’’

Rosie looks surprised. She looks over at her other employees, who look equally surprised. ‘’Well you should have told me you’d be bringing a date here! Honestly, we would’ve reserved a table for you two and cleaned up!’’ she shakes her head. Jack blushes a darker pink.

‘’S-sorry.’’ he murmurs. Rosie shakes her head disapprovingly and looks at you.

‘’Don’t mind him, y/n. I’ll get you both the best table in the house,’’ she smiles sweetly at you before turning around. ‘’HEY! JEREMIAH! IS THE BACK BOOTH OPEN?!’’ She screeches. The other employees don’t even bat an eye at her. A teenage boy pokes his head out from behind a wall and nods. Rosie looks at the both of you. ‘’Right then! You know where to go, Jack!’’ she chirps.

‘’Thanks Rosie.’’ Jack says with a smile. He takes your hand and leads you across the cafe. There’s a second room in the back you hadn’t even noticed. It’s small, with only a couple tables, a window and a small booth in the back. Jack gestures to the booth. ‘’After ye.’’

You take a seat. The booth’s seats are just wooden benches, and the wall juts out slightly so that you can basically hide from sight if you so wanted. Jack sits across from you and smiles.

‘’So- you come here a lot, huh?’’ you ask, looking around.

‘’Yeh. I ‘elped Rosie star’ th’ place up! I’ took a lo’a money an’ fundraisin’, bu’ now lookit ‘er! Business is boomin’!’’

You laugh a bit. ‘’Wow.’’ so that explains why the employees treat him so nicely. He helped them start this place up...he’s even kinder than you thought! As you’re about to ask him a bit more about Rosie and the cafe, you’re interrupted by the boy from earlier, Jeremiah, placing a tray on the table. He puts a slice of chocolate cheesecake in front of both you and Jack, along with a menu. Jack looks up.

‘’Eh- Jer, we ‘aven’t ordered ye’.’’ To your surprise, Jeremiah replies via sign language. Which you don’t understand. But Jack apparently does. He laughs gently and shakes his head. ‘’Awrigh’. Tell yer ma we said thanks.’’

Jeremiah nods and walks away. You look at Jack. ‘’What’d he say?’’

‘’I’s on th’ ‘ouse,’’ he smiles at you. ‘’Rosie’s a peach.’’

Huh! Well then- you grab your fork and cut into the cheesecake and take a bite. It’s- the most delicious thing you’ve ever tasted. You blink in surprise. The crust crunches pleasantly in your mouth and is slightly salty, but the sweetness of the chocolate balances it out. The actual cream cheese part is smooth and thick, and almost melts in your mouth. You look up and realise Jack is smiling at you from across the table.

‘’I’s good, innit?’’

‘’This is amazing!’’ you exclaim. ‘’How come nobody told me this place has the best cheesecake around?!’’

Jack laughs. ‘’Jus’ wai’ till ye try th’ ho’ choc’la’e. I’s th’ bes’ aroun’, I promise ye tha’.’’ he looks over the menu for a second. ‘’Ye can ge’ anyfin’ ye want. I’ll pay.’’

You blink. ‘’You will?’’

‘’Yeh. Rosie gives me discounts.’’ he winks. You grin a bit.

‘’Alright then…’’ you continue eating the godly cheesecake before speaking again. ‘’So...who’re Cody and Junior?’’ you finally ask. Jack looks up.

‘’Oh! They’re eh- roommates! I live wiv a lo’a people. We all pitch in fer rent an’ all’at. Kinda like a circus, we’re one big fam’ly! ‘Xcept i'm th’ only clown there.’’ he winks at you again. You laugh.

‘’That sounds nice, living with such a large group of people.’’

‘’Ehh...i’ is, bu’ i’ ge’s tirin’, ye know? I mean eh- when I tol’ every’ne I ‘ad a da’e they all kept pesterin’ me! Last time I tell any ‘f those eejits anyfin’.’’ he shake his head tiredly. You laugh again.

‘’Really?’’ you smirk. ‘’I didn’t know I’d cause such a stir…’’ under the table, you poke his leg with your foot. Jack blushes. Hard.

‘’E-eh- heh- well eh-’’ he looks away nervously, fidgeting anxiously. ‘’I’ve...never really gone on a da’e b’fore…’’

‘’Really?’’ you’re genuinely surprised. Sure his costume might be off putting, and his thick accent adds to how intimidating he is, but he’s a sweetheart and a funny guy! How come you’re the first person to ask him out?

‘’I eh- didn’ fink any’ne’d like me like tha’...I mean I-’’ he shakes his head. ‘’I dunno…’’ he laughs gently and gives you a nervous look. You soften.

‘’Well I like you.’’ you say gently. You reach over and put your hand on his. He stares at you in shock, then softens, smiling again. He laughs softly and looks you over. His gaze is soft, loving. Your heart flutters as he looks you over. Your cheeks flush red. He’s so cute...the way he smiles, the way his crystal blue eyes caress your face, the way he curls his hand around yours and squeezes it. You love him. You’re head over heels for the guy and your first date with him has only just begun!

‘’Ey y/n?’’

‘’Yeah?’’

‘’There’s choc’la’e all over yer face.’’

And it’s off to a terrible start.

#ask #anon #anonymous #laughing jack #laughing jack x reader #creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta fanfic #creepypasta fanfiction #writing

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