#this is kind of a hard book to explain
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
libraryleopard · 6 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Adult horror novel
Set in Toronto's gay village of over the course of several decades (1980s to 2010s) against the backdrop of the AIDS crisis, police brutality, and inaction from the law, those left behind begin to realize the culprit is a sinister being that's more than human
Includes segments weaving in the author's own personal history
Draws on real history and Toronto's queer community to create a story of dark folklore that exposes real-world horrors
Large cast of largely queer characters, including a recurring character of a Black lesbian and her trans girlfriend, and focuses on the way murdered and missing gay men of color are especially failed by systems of justice
8 notes · View notes
nadiajustbe · 6 months ago
Text
I think the most beautiful thing about writing of Howl and Sophie's pair is that they are written as people before being written as a pair. Let me explain this very quick.
The thing about book Sophie and Howl is that they are not really fully fitting into any "classic" romantic trope. They are not exactly enemies to lovers, as their angry chats are definitely cannot be considered a life or death battle, they are not rivals to lovers because the only aspect of rivalry between them is the cleaningness of Howl's room. They are not friends to lovers, as their relationship just doesn't fit into "friendship" structure at the very start, nor they are roomates (yes, they live in the same house but that's not the core aspect of their relationships). Of course, you can go on and fit the name of the trope you found specifically for them, but that's the thing.
They simply cannot be processed through a pairings lenses only, in order to understand how they act in relationship you need to analyse them separately, as a characters first of all. Cause that's what the book itself does!
Sure, it doesn't have a whole lot of romance instead, but it gives us time to learn and observe the life of incredibly written, alive characters, understand them as personalities first of all, while slowly immersing the dynamic between two characters (in this case, Howl and Sophie) into work. They are written as personalities, both being fully separated and interviewing, changing eachother's point of view.
It's difficult to find a trope for them. They're are not a trope. They are Howl and Sophie, and that's probably the only way their dynamic can be properly described. Just as real people, they are not really fitting into the boxes of linial character progression, but go way deeper into being complex, filled with little differences and moments only people with their personality can have in romantic (or any different) kind of interaction. They're imperfect, and silly, and multidimensional and the reader knows them well enough to imagine them interacting way beyond of what the book says to them.
They are being people before being a ship, a pair of a trope — and that's why they work so perfectly charming in the end.
Howl and Sophie are unique in being themselves.
#and that's not that they're the only ones like that#I'm sure there's a lote of well-written paintings like them as well#it's just I feel that people would try to find them some kind of a trope in the end anyways#actually If you let me brag about it a bit#I feel like people nowadays are trying a little to hard to force romance (and other dynamic but romance especially) into some kind#eh..tiny boxes instead of letting characters actually interacting on independent manner?#like there's so many bookshops and book covers that say “enemies to lovers!!” on it and like#nothing else. that may be a fault of booktock cause so many videos in there are “top-5 friends to lovers books of the year!!”#I don't care?? tell me about the characters about how their personalities are connecting them tell me about their story about their quircks#about the parts of them that led to romance being as it is about the parts of them that compliment each other#TELL ME ABOUT THE BOOK AND THEIR PERSONALITIES GODDAMIT#I have nothing against people inventing a way of naming the progression their characters relationship are that's actually pretty handy#I'm just kinda puzzled cause way people are starting to act like having one of this two three maybe five classic tropes is a necessity#I cannot understand why people won't read a book simply because the cover doesn't say enemies to lovers#I cannot understand why ppl are thinking it's enough for characters to be enemies to lovers and nothing else#I was doing tell me abt your ship template with Sophie and I had to add a million of arrows and little texts explaining every specific#AND I LOVED IT SM LIKE THEY ARE SO??! THEMSELVES THEY ARE SO ALONE#you cannot understand how much I love it#(and yes I do categorise my ships sometimes it's just I feel I don't put as much meaning into it as someone else would??)#hmc book#howl's moving castle book#hmc#howell jenkins#sophie hatter#howl x sophie#howl's moving castle#howl pendragon
212 notes · View notes
s0fter-sin · 7 months ago
Text
one of my favourite aspects of supernatural that you very rarely see in paranormal shows is that sam and dean are already versed in the world they live in. there’s no sudden discovery of ghosts and demons and now they have to learn about them along with the audience; they are born into it and already know all about it. it allows the audience to follow their personal story instead of also trying to figure out this new world and its rules
the first season is full of knowledge we never see them learn; “w*ndigoes are in the minnesota woods or- or northern michigan. i’ve never even heard of one this far west.” […] “great. well then this [his gun] is useless.” (1x02), “you don’t break a curse. you get the hell out of its way.” (1x08), d: “it’s a god. a pagan god, anyway.” […] “the annual cycle of its killings? and the fact that the victims are always a man and a woman. like some kind of fertility right.” […] s: “the last meal. given to sacrificial victims. d: “yeah, i’m thinking a ritual sacrifice to appease some pagan god.” (1x11)
almost every episode in the first season is a monster they’ve faced before that they then explain to the audience in a way that should feel patronising; like it’s the same speech given over and over again but instead, the audience almost feels included in the knowledge. it’s stated with such an innate confidence and comfort in said knowledge that it feels like we already knew it too; “spirits and demons don't have to unlock doors. if they want inside, they just go through the walls.” […] “the claws, the speed that it moves; could be a skinwalker, maybe a black dog.” (1x02), “it's biblical numerology. you know noah's ark, it rained for forty days. the number means death.” (1x04), “no no no, not the reaper, a reaper. there's reaper lore in pretty much every culture on earth, it goes by 100 different names.” […] “you said it yourself that the clock stopped, right? reapers stop time. and you can only see 'em when they're coming at you which is why i could see it and you couldn't.” (1x12)
they already know and, at least in the first season, already have what they need to kill whatever they’re hunting; already know to salt and burn bones for spirits, fire for a w*ndigo, exorcisms for demons, a silver bullet to the heart for shapeshifters. there’s only three times in the entire first season that they run into something new to them; 1x14 when sam gets his first vision that leads him to another psychic, 1x16 when dean calls caleb for help on the sigil he put together and he tells him about daevas, and 1x20 when they find out vampires are real- and they only don’t know that bc john thought they were hunted to extinction and not worth mentioning
(there’s also technically two half instances if you count one of them knowing something the other doesn’t - sam figuring out the tulpa in 1x17 and dean already knowing about the shtriga in 1x18 - but those still rely on sam and dean having prior knowledge)
even when they’re uncertain about facing something, it’s not bc they don’t know what it is; it’s precisely bc they know what it is and acknowledge that it’ll be a difficult hunt (“i don't know, man. this isn't our normal gig. i mean, demons, they don't want anything, just death and destruction for its own sake. this is big. and i wish dad was here.” 1x04)
so much of the tension in paranormal shows typically comes from the main character(s) not knowing what is happening to them/the people around them and having to find out how to resolve it. supernatural is unique in that it operates more like a police procedural. the tension comes from solving the clues and identifying patterns to figure out who (what) the killer is and intercepting before they can take another victim
it’s such a different tone to go for when compared to other shows that came both before, during, and after its run. it sets sam and dean on even footing with each other since they both have the same knowledge going in, and it puts them in a place of authority usually reserved for an outside character
the shows i compare spn to most is charmed, buffy and teen wolf; every main character in those shows are brought into the paranormal world knowing nothing, putting them on the same level as the audience, and they have their mc interact with others already knowledgeable about that world in order to overcome their problem/monster of the week. the audience organically learns about this new world as the characters learn about it. it’s a sound writing strategy that prevents “as we already know”-style exposition but something that complicates it is if your world building isn’t unique or intriguing enough, this slow introduction can become boring
we’ve seen shows like these before; sitting through the same tropes of characters learning to use their powers, struggling with no longer feeling normal/relating to the regular world around them, and not knowing how much they can trust the people already involved in this new world gets repetitive. all three shows eventually reach the same level of comfort with their new world that spn starts with but if the characters aren’t enough to draw you in, you can end up dropping it before they reach that point (and often, before the overarching plot can really kick in and evolve the show beyond the villain of the week format)
it’s the superhero origin movie in tv format; dragged out and overplayed. dropping the audience into an established world of course comes with its own problems but you also have the benefit of pre-existing established character dynamics that let the audience slot in like they’ve always been there instead of just getting to know all the characters while the characters also get to know each other
sam and dean already knowing about the supernatural lets the audience immediately get to the core of the story; the conflict between sam and dean, the search for their father, and the mystery of what killed their mother
#i could go on forever theres literally so many examples#dean figuring the ‘two dark doubles’ is a shapeshifter sam figuring out the changing ghost is a tulpa#also peak how many of these examples come from dean despite them pushing so hard for sam to be the one knowing hunting theory#this format is why i cant stand watching the first season of charmed despite loving it so much#i just cant be bothered watching them have the same struggle ive seen a hundred times play out again#different genre but sons of anarchy does this well too; all the characters are already in the club life and already have inner conflict#spn having such a natural introduction makes me so glad they didnt go with the original plan of sam not knowing about hunting#that wouldve been Painful#watching spn so young has really shaped my view of media bc i legit cant stand things with a learning curve#give me an established world damnit#lord of the rings never stops to explain what a dwarf is! you just go with it! and it rules!#dean is just as theoretical and lore savvy as sam and id go as far to say he actually knows more#instead of trying to do this bullshit brains v brawn divide they shouldve done new tech vs analogue#sams laptop is famous and he also knows how to hack thing where the second dean doesnt know something he defaults to books#have dean be the one where if its written down he can find it almost like a proto bobby#they even kind of support that by him being the one to find the phoenix in s6 when they go through all their books#but this was 2005 and characters could only be so conplex and theyd already decided dean needed to be the hot one and sams the nerd one#side note how many of these metas am i going to write on this rewatch? tbd#side side note included all the quotes and episode numbers makes me feel so academic#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#carry on my wayward son#talk meta to me#meta#supernatural meta#spn#supernatural#dean winchester#sam winchester#save post
205 notes · View notes
gideonisms · 3 months ago
Text
guy who needs floor time
29 notes · View notes
chaos-circus · 4 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Jessica Shang you will always be famous
23 notes · View notes
miniagula · 5 months ago
Text
movie sonadow would be so l umity-coded…and i say this bc their dynamic is similar to the games but with a different and tender perspective: they both empathize deeply with each other now, and this shadow is not as reticent or closed off bc of that. that being said: movie!sonic would ABSOLUTELY 'YOU'RE the sweet potato!' the hell out of shadow
#i say l umity bc they're my fave yardstick for romantic relationship progression#between two characters who're barely just starting to know themselves let alone their feelings#and bc they're cute. and i have been thinking abt (made sleepless over‚ really) sonic being SO ecstatic to find shadow alive#i just see movie!sonic being more physically affectionate n movie!shadow (w the both of them having already seen each other at their worst)#feeling less of a need to put up a front. not much to hide from the guy you pleaded with to kill you on the moon yk?#speeds over‚ loops his arms and spins him 'round#he would be SO excited to show shadow fun earth stuff#and on a deeper level‚ i think a liiiiiittle bit of it'd be projection#he knows their situations aren't the same. but yet again‚ here's another hedgehog in a strange new world#and he wants to give him everything he wished he'd had when he arrived#so he shows him crappy reality tv and new kinds of foods and other kinds of constellations‚#the proper way to give a fist bump (bc shadow was going to genuinely punch him and he had to explain)‚ and books from the library#they get more movies. sonic teaches him how to play mario kart. he knux and tails induct him into their baseball games#and sonic is delighted to find they have the same problem of hitting the ball Way Too Hard#he answers every question shadow has to the best of his ability#and like. the Main Thought that's been plaguing me is that one day he gets shadow a picture frame#and - idk how sonic got it‚ just roll with it - sonic reveals the picture of shadow and maria#and explains that tom had that section of his old cave‚ the one w the picture of longclaw excavated and preserved#and he doesn't know how tom did it‚ but now she's in his new home too. he doesn't have to leave her behind just bc he found somewhere new#basically trying to show him that it's okay to grieve and to KEEP grieving. that just bc you've been understood‚ that love goes away.#but yeah. they drive me nuts#sonadow#sonic movie 3 spoilers#sth
29 notes · View notes
aroaessidhe · 6 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
2024 reads / storygraph
Terra Nullius
literary scifi
set in a near future Australia being colonised by aliens, echoing history
follows a boy who escapes from a mission school ‘reeducating’ stolen Indigenous children and is pursued across the desert, searching for where he came from
and the various characters he encounters or who are searching for him, revealing context and worldbuilding as it goes on
3 notes · View notes
sowlmates · 4 months ago
Text
I gotta stop falling for booktok recs
2 notes · View notes
chiropteracupola · 2 years ago
Text
I like when books have Maps and Charts in them and I think that all books should have such things.
and books which already have them? I think they should have More Maps and Charts.
23 notes · View notes
aidenwaites · 6 months ago
Text
A thing about me is if im gonna use a notebook for something it's going to get a Dedicated Notebook for that purpose and which i cannot use for anything else. Which means I have so many notebooks. Five of which are currently actively in use
2 notes · View notes
swanthief · 2 years ago
Note
SWANFIRE OUTLANDER AU YOU SAY????
first of all LOVE that we all understand The Vision and Genious of this au. second of all you guys really are gonna make me do something w this huh 😂
4 notes · View notes
mrdrhenwardhykle · 2 years ago
Note
So i have never heard of Werewolf by Midnight until you mention it (I remember Wilson's heart way back when) but god the trailers vibes are so off. It reaks of like modern marvels fear of being genuine for me personally. Also I can't believe they are so like desperate for content on disney plus is releasing the movie in color evem tho that not only ruins the idea of the type of flicks they are refering to but also appearly the story sense appearly its integral to the actual plot.
Truely amazing
THEY'RE WHAT?!
Homage to old movies my behind. Their homage is as thin as glass. It's so hard to see it as anything remotely close to classic horror due to all that modernism marvel always has to shoehorn in to make sure their audience doesn't get homesick. Also re-releasing it to HULU as well 100% confirms that they're planning nothing for Halloween. Like yeah, you can say "Haunted Mansion" but I think that released in the summer for some reason. The only reason I can think of to do that is not to lose as much in the box office because everyone else is going to Freddy's around that time.
(spoilers)
Tumblr media
Also also, the prosthetics look so barebones. They just plastered some fur and fangs on him, it's obvious they really struggled to make a vintage werewolf look conventionally attractive and intimidating.
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
imo Wilson's Heart nailed a similar intention to look like an old movie werewolf while still making it scary/intimidating. I know it's not prosthetics, but still, a bunch of talented concept artists and illustrators put a lot of love into each design. You can still use puppets and stuff and still be true to the original art.
It's a better tribute than cgi Chuthulu or whatever that was
Uhm anyways, there's nothing more to this and I didn't pay enough attention to it because my brain was like "I wish I was watching Wilson's Heart or an actual old horror movie" the whole time. I don't like how it felt like it was on the edge of breaking character the whole time, and did end up breaking character in the end for some reason.
2 notes · View notes
psychoticwillgraham · 4 months ago
Text
need someone to talk about my au's with and bounce ideas off of :(
0 notes
victusinveritas · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Story below the cut to avoid a paywall.
There was no explanation, no warning. One minute, I was in an immigration office talking to an officer about my work visa, which had been approved months before and allowed me, a Canadian, to work in the US. The next, I was told to put my hands against the wall, and patted down like a criminal before being sent to an Ice detention center without the chance to talk to a lawyer.
I grew up in Whitehorse, Yukon, a small town in the northernmost part of Canada. I always knew I wanted to do something bigger with my life. I left home early and moved to Vancouver, British Columbia, where I built a career spanning multiple industries – acting in film and television, owning bars and restaurants, flipping condos and managing Airbnbs.
In my 30s, I found my true passion working in the health and wellness industry. I was given the opportunity to help launch an American brand of health tonics called Holy! Water – a job that would involve moving to the US.
I was granted my trade Nafta work visa, which allows Canadian and Mexican citizens to work in the US in specific professional occupations, on my second attempt. It goes without saying, then, that I have no criminal record. I also love the US and consider myself to be a kind, hard-working person.
I started working in California and travelled back and forth between Canada and the US multiple times without any complications – until one day, upon returning to the US, a border officer questioned me about my initial visa denial and subsequent visa approval. He asked why I had gone to the San Diego border the second time to apply. I explained that that was where my lawyer’s offices were, and that he had wanted to accompany me to ensure there were no issues.
After a long interrogation, the officer told me it seemed “shady” and that my visa hadn’t been properly processed. He claimed I also couldn’t work for a company in the US that made use of hemp – one of the beverage ingredients. He revoked my visa, and told me I could still work for the company from Canada, but if I wanted to return to the US, I would need to reapply.
I was devastated; I had just started building a life in California. I stayed in Canada for the next few months, and was eventually offered a similar position with a different health and wellness brand.
I restarted the visa process and returned to the same immigration office at the San Diego border, since they had processed my visa before and I was familiar with it. Hours passed, with many confused opinions about my case. The officer I spoke to was kind but told me that, due to my previous issues, I needed to apply for my visa through the consulate. I told her I hadn’t been aware I needed to apply that way, but had no problem doing it.
Then she said something strange: “You didn’t do anything wrong. You are not in trouble, you are not a criminal.”
I remember thinking: Why would she say that? Of course I’m not a criminal!
She then told me they had to send me back to Canada. That didn’t concern me; I assumed I would simply book a flight home. But as I sat searching for flights, a man approached me.
“Come with me,” he said.
There was no explanation, no warning. He led me to a room, took my belongings from my hands and ordered me to put my hands against the wall. A woman immediately began patting me down. The commands came rapid-fire, one after another, too fast to process.
They took my shoes and pulled out my shoelaces.
“What are you doing? What is happening?” I asked.
“You are being detained.”
“I don’t understand. What does that mean? For how long?”
“I don’t know.”
That would be the response to nearly every question I would ask over the next two weeks: “I don’t know.”
They brought me downstairs for a series of interviews and medical questions, searched my bags and told me I had to get rid of half my belongings because I couldn’t take everything with me.
“Take everything with me where?” I asked.
A woman asked me for the name of someone they could contact on my behalf. In moments like this, you realize you don’t actually know anyone’s phone number anymore. By some miracle, I had recently memorized my best friend Britt’s number because I had been putting my grocery points on her account.
I gave them her phone number.
They handed me a mat and a folded-up sheet of aluminum foil.
“What is this?”
“Your blanket.”
“I don’t understand.”
I was taken to a tiny, freezing cement cell with bright fluorescent lights and a toilet. There were five other women lying on their mats with the aluminum sheets wrapped over them, looking like dead bodies. The guard locked the door behind me.
For two days, we remained in that cell, only leaving briefly for food. The lights never turned off, we never knew what time it was and no one answered our questions. No one in the cell spoke English, so I either tried to sleep or meditate to keep from having a breakdown. I didn’t trust the food, so I fasted, assuming I wouldn’t be there long.
On the third day, I was finally allowed to make a phone call. I called Britt and told her that I didn’t understand what was happening, that no one would tell me when I was going home, and that she was my only contact.
They gave me a stack of paperwork to sign and told me I was being given a five-year ban unless I applied for re-entry through the consulate. The officer also said it didn’t matter whether I signed the papers or not; it was happening regardless.
I was so delirious that I just signed. I told them I would pay for my flight home and asked when I could leave.
No answer.
Then they moved me to another cell – this time with no mat or blanket. I sat on the freezing cement floor for hours. That’s when I realized they were processing me into real jail: the Otay Mesa Detention Center.
I was told to shower, given a jail uniform, fingerprinted and interviewed. I begged for information.
“How long will I be here?”
“I don’t know your case,” the man said. “Could be days. Could be weeks. But I’m telling you right now – you need to mentally prepare yourself for months.”
Months.
I felt like I was going to throw up.
I was taken to the nurse’s office for a medical check. She asked what had happened to me. She had never seen a Canadian there before. When I told her my story, she grabbed my hand and said: “Do you believe in God?”
I told her I had only recently found God, but that I now believed in God more than anything.
“I believe God brought you here for a reason,” she said. “I know it feels like your life is in a million pieces, but you will be OK. Through this, I think you are going to find a way to help others.”
At the time, I didn’t know what that meant. She asked if she could pray for me. I held her hands and wept.
I felt like I had been sent an angel.
I was then placed in a real jail unit: two levels of cells surrounding a common area, just like in the movies. I was put in a tiny cell alone with a bunk bed and a toilet.
The best part: there were blankets. After three days without one, I wrapped myself in mine and finally felt some comfort.
For the first day, I didn’t leave my cell. I continued fasting, terrified that the food might make me sick. The only available water came from the tap attached to the toilet in our cells or a sink in the common area, neither of which felt safe to drink.
Eventually, I forced myself to step out, meet the guards and learn the rules. One of them told me: “No fighting.”
“I’m a lover, not a fighter,” I joked. He laughed.
I asked if there had ever been a fight here.
“In this unit? No,” he said. “No one in this unit has a criminal record.”
That’s when I started meeting the other women.
That’s when I started hearing their stories.
And that’s when I made a decision: I would never allow myself to feel sorry for my situation again. No matter how hard this was, I had to be grateful. Because every woman I met was in an even more difficult position than mine.
There were around 140 of us in our unit. Many women had lived and worked in the US legally for years but had overstayed their visas – often after reapplying and being denied. They had all been detained without warning.
If someone is a criminal, I agree they should be taken off the streets. But not one of these women had a criminal record. These women acknowledged that they shouldn’t have overstayed and took responsibility for their actions. But their frustration wasn’t about being held accountable; it was about the endless, bureaucratic limbo they had been trapped in.
The real issue was how long it took to get out of the system, with no clear answers, no timeline and no way to move forward. Once deported, many have no choice but to abandon everything they own because the cost of shipping their belongings back is too high.
I met a woman who had been on a road trip with her husband. She said they had 10-year work visas. While driving near the San Diego border, they mistakenly got into a lane leading to Mexico. They stopped and told the agent they didn’t have their passports on them, expecting to be redirected. Instead, they were detained. They are both pastors.
I met a family of three who had been living in the US for 11 years with work authorizations. They paid taxes and were waiting for their green cards. Every year, the mother had to undergo a background check, but this time, she was told to bring her whole family. When they arrived, they were taken into custody and told their status would now be processed from within the detention center.
Another woman from Canada had been living in the US with her husband who was detained after a traffic stop. She admitted she had overstayed her visa and accepted that she would be deported. But she had been stuck in the system for almost six weeks because she hadn’t had her passport. Who runs casual errands with their passport?
One woman had a 10-year visa. When it expired, she moved back to her home country, Venezuela. She admitted she had overstayed by one month before leaving. Later, she returned for a vacation and entered the US without issue. But when she took a domestic flight from Miami to Los Angeles, she was picked up by Ice and detained. She couldn’t be deported because Venezuela wasn’t accepting deportees. She didn’t know when she was getting out.
There was a girl from India who had overstayed her student visa for three days before heading back home. She then came back to the US on a new, valid visa to finish her master’s degree and was handed over to Ice due to the three days she had overstayed on her previous visa.
There were women who had been picked up off the street, from outside their workplaces, from their homes. All of these women told me that they had been detained for time spans ranging from a few weeks to 10 months. One woman’s daughter was outside the detention center protesting for her release.
That night, the pastor invited me to a service she was holding. A girl who spoke English translated for me as the women took turns sharing their prayers – prayers for their sick parents, for the children they hadn’t seen in weeks, for the loved ones they had been torn away from.
Then, unexpectedly, they asked if they could pray for me. I was new here, and they wanted to welcome me. They formed a circle around me, took my hands and prayed. I had never felt so much love, energy and compassion from a group of strangers in my life. Everyone was crying.
At 3am the next day, I was woken up in my cell.
“Pack your bag. You’re leaving.”
I jolted upright. “I get to go home?”
The officer shrugged. “I don’t know where you’re going.”
Of course. No one ever knew anything.
I grabbed my things and went downstairs, where 10 other women stood in silence, tears streaming down their faces. But these weren’t happy tears. That was the moment I learned the term “transferred”.
For many of these women, detention centers had become a twisted version of home. They had formed bonds, established routines and found slivers of comfort in the friendships they had built. Now, without warning, they were being torn apart and sent somewhere new. Watching them say goodbye, clinging to each other, was gut-wrenching.
I had no idea what was waiting for me next. In hindsight, that was probably for the best.
Our next stop was Arizona, the San Luis Regional Detention Center. The transfer process lasted 24 hours, a sleepless, grueling ordeal. This time, men were transported with us. Roughly 50 of us were crammed into a prison bus for the next five hours, packed together – women in the front, men in the back. We were bound in chains that wrapped tightly around our waists, with our cuffed hands secured to our bodies and shackles restraining our feet, forcing every movement into a slow, clinking struggle.
When we arrived at our next destination, we were forced to go through the entire intake process all over again, with medical exams, fingerprinting – and pregnancy tests; they lined us up in a filthy cell, squatting over a communal toilet, holding Dixie cups of urine while the nurse dropped pregnancy tests in each of our cups. It was disgusting.
We sat in freezing-cold jail cells for hours, waiting for everyone to be processed. Across the room, one of the women suddenly spotted her husband. They had both been detained and were now seeing each other for the first time in weeks.
The look on her face – pure love, relief and longing – was something I’ll never forget.
We were beyond exhausted. I felt like I was hallucinating.
The guard tossed us each a blanket: “Find a bed.”
There were no pillows. The room was ice cold, and one blanket wasn’t enough. Around me, women lay curled into themselves, heads covered, looking like a room full of corpses. This place made the last jail feel like the Four Seasons.
I kept telling myself: Do not let this break you.
Thirty of us shared one room. We were given one Styrofoam cup for water and one plastic spoon that we had to reuse for every meal. I eventually had to start trying to eat and, sure enough, I got sick. None of the uniforms fit, and everyone had men’s shoes on. The towels they gave us to shower were hand towels. They wouldn’t give us more blankets. The fluorescent lights shined on us 24/7.
Everything felt like it was meant to break you. Nothing was explained to us. I wasn’t given a phone call. We were locked in a room, no daylight, with no idea when we would get out.
I tried to stay calm as every fiber of my being raged towards panic mode. I didn’t know how I would tell Britt where I was. Then, as if sent from God, one of the women showed me a tablet attached to the wall where I could send emails. I only remembered my CEO’s email from memory. I typed out a message, praying he would see it.
He responded.
Through him, I was able to connect with Britt. She told me that they were working around the clock trying to get me out. But no one had any answers; the system made it next to impossible. I told her about the conditions in this new place, and that was when we decided to go to the media.
She started working with a reporter and asked whether I would be able to call her so she could loop him in. The international phone account that Britt had previously tried to set up for me wasn’t working, so one of the other women offered to let me use her phone account to make the call.
We were all in this together.
With nothing to do in my cell but talk, I made new friends – women who had risked everything for the chance at a better life for themselves and their families.
Through them, I learned the harsh reality of seeking asylum. Showing me their physical scars, they explained how they had paid smugglers anywhere from $20,000 to $60,000 to reach the US border, enduring brutal jungles and horrendous conditions.
One woman had been offered asylum in Mexico within two weeks but had been encouraged to keep going to the US. Now, she was stuck, living in a nightmare, separated from her young children for months. She sobbed, telling me how she felt like the worst mother in the world.
Many of these women were highly educated and spoke multiple languages. Yet, they had been advised to pretend they didn’t speak English because it would supposedly increase their chances of asylum.
Some believed they were being used as examples, as warnings to others not to try to come.
Women were starting to panic in this new facility, and knowing I was most likely the first person to get out, they wrote letters and messages for me to send to their families.
It felt like we had all been kidnapped, thrown into some sort of sick psychological experiment meant to strip us of every ounce of strength and dignity.
We were from different countries, spoke different languages and practiced different religions. Yet, in this place, none of that mattered. Everyone took care of each other. Everyone shared food. Everyone held each other when someone broke down. Everyone fought to keep each other’s hope alive.
I got a message from Britt. My story had started to blow up in the media.
Almost immediately after, I was told I was being released.
My Ice agent, who had never spoken to me, told my lawyer I could have left sooner if I had signed a withdrawal form, and that they hadn’t known I would pay for my own flight home.
From the moment I arrived, I begged every officer I saw to let me pay for my own ticket home. Not a single one of them ever spoke to me about my case.
To put things into perspective: I had a Canadian passport, lawyers, resources, media attention, friends, family and even politicians advocating for me. Yet, I was still detained for nearly two weeks.
Imagine what this system is like for every other person in there.
A small group of us were transferred back to San Diego at 2am – one last road trip, once again shackled in chains. I was then taken to the airport, where two officers were waiting for me. The media was there, so the officers snuck me in through a side door, trying to avoid anyone seeing me in restraints. I was beyond grateful that, at the very least, I didn’t have to walk through the airport in chains.
To my surprise, the officers escorting me were incredibly kind, and even funny. It was the first time I had laughed in weeks.
I asked if I could put my shoelaces back on.
“Yes,” one of them said with a grin. “But you better not run.”
“Yeah,” the other added. “Or we’ll have to tackle you in the airport. That’ll really make the headlines.”
I laughed, then told them I had spent a lot of time observing the guards during my detention and I couldn’t believe how often I saw humans treating other humans with such disregard. “But don’t worry,” I joked. “You two get five stars.”
When I finally landed in Canada, my mom and two best friends were waiting for me. So was the media. I spoke to them briefly, numb and delusional from exhaustion.
It was surreal listening to my friends recount everything they had done to get me out: working with lawyers, reaching out to the media, making endless calls to detention centers, desperately trying to get through to Ice or anyone who could help. They said the entire system felt rigged, designed to make it nearly impossible for anyone to get out.
The reality became clear: Ice detention isn’t just a bureaucratic nightmare. It’s a business. These facilities are privately owned and run for profit.
Companies like CoreCivic and GEO Group receive government funding based on the number of people they detain, which is why they lobby for stricter immigration policies. It’s a lucrative business: CoreCivic made over $560m from Ice contracts in a single year. In 2024, GEO Group made more than $763m from Ice contracts.
The more detainees, the more money they make. It stands to reason that these companies have no incentive to release people quickly. What I had experienced was finally starting to make sense.
Tumblr media
16K notes · View notes
aroaessidhe · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
2024 reads / storygraph
The Saint of Bright Doors
a surreal Sri Lankan fantasy about colonialism, revolution, mixing fantasy with the modern world
follows a man raised by his mother to kill his father, a god-like cult leader
but as an adult he puts aside his life of violence and moves to the city for a quiet life
he becomes fascinated with ‘bright doors’ around the city that never open and have no other side, and joins a group studying them to find out more
and a support group for those with divine heritage that becomes increasingly revolutionary, until the task he was made for reemerges and his life upends
#the Saint of Bright Doors#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#this is kind of hard to explain I dont know if I did a very good job here lol#it is weird and full of so many interesting elements. I’m still not entirely sure how I feel about it but?? I really liked it mostly???#It starts pretty small scale focused on the MC & slowly unravels the wider worldbuilding and narrative elements in a really interesting way#The first chapter or two I assumed it was typical high fantasy but then it’s like. oh this is a modern city. with emails and stuff.#The pacing is a bit weird - it’s quite meandering and also pivots significantly in the second half. tbh I’m still ????? about the ending lm#but also I am happy to float through on vibes.#and there’s some elements (like the doors that become….not that relevant) that I want to know more about. (as an aside - I saw someone say#that it’s a very clear retelling about Buddha’s son? which idk enough about but probably could give a deeper context to a lot of it)#writing style is kinda detached from the MC but also there is a reason for this that makes sense with the twist near the end!#which is a kind of twist i LOVE. Maybe I wish it had been emphasised a bit more over the story though? unsure.#I thought his mother's story was interesting also - you think she's an terrible parent just there for background context at the start but#then when she tells her story it's like ohh there's more context here.#also I hesitate to just say ‘if you like the spear cuts-- you should read this’ because I think the elements that are similar are done in a#kinda different way and might disappoint you if you’re expecting it to be the same as spear….but regardless the sort of dreamy writing#rich world; narrative with fantasy but also modern day elements; some of the writing style; mlm MC (tho not a romance)#idk. it will definitely not work for everyone but I enjoyed it overall#also it is full of queerness#bisexual books
14 notes · View notes
evil-ontheinside · 6 months ago
Text
Tfw a middle aged man comes up to you and your friends after a play/musical and first asks why you watched the play and if it's for graduation preparation (you and your friends are all university students) and then asks if you understood the play (you read the source material) <_<
0 notes