#this is like 1 step removed from venting lmfao

[doodlepede]

i think transmisandry (i like the older term more, sue me), like transmisogyny, can't be isolated to only themes and experiences etc that only affect trans men. i think each necessarily encompasses themes and experiences that affect any or all trans people. it's more about the whole of the experience, not the parts. I think picking and choosing that This transphobic event was transmisandric but This one was just transphobic is reductive and self defeating. i think there's significant merit to the concept of the fact that it happened to a trans man makes it transmisandric no matter what. I don't believe in the concept of "misdirected" bigotry or violence. it was directed at the victim, and if the victim was a trans man, then he's the victim. the system is what it does, and it affects trans men violently and not even less obviously if you pay attention

the problem is that if transmisandry includes experiences that are more typically associated with trans women because the fact that it happened to a trans man makes it transmisandry, then why have the term? because it's not just the transphobia that makes the experience of transmisandry, its the context of being raised a girl, expected to grow up into a woman, and being Very affected by misogyny, and never not being affected by it. if you dont pass, you're treated as a freakish failure woman, and if you do, you can still be beaten or raped pregnant unless and ONLY unless you've had a hysterectomy or vaginectomy. being raised female means you absolutely fucking know this. pregnancy is something a lot of trans women want to achieve, great for them, but pregnancy is something that is VERY often used to chain us to abusers and forcibly detransition us, or else, it's just the consequence of being female and a visible freak. people punish freaks. to say nothing of trans men who actually want to get pregnant on purpose.

so with all that said, it's no wonder feminist types fucking hate trans men for abandoning their sisters for the enemy, after all, women are soft and good, and men are rape and violence. they act like we have stockholm syndrome and treat us accordingly: some feel pity and try to make us see the light, and others blame the victim since, if she could want to become one of Them, then she's just as evil, and a traitor too.

and trans women do it too. baeddelism has been and continues to be allowed to fester for YEARS on tumblr. yes yes not all trans women and yes yes it's mostly an online thing but unfortunately people online are people in real life, and people who support their ideology, even if they don't know they are, are a VERY significant percentage of tumblr users. a definition of terms, a Baeddel is specifically a trans woman who believes, via a misunderstanding of intersectionality, that trans women are The Most Oppressed and also Most Goodest gender combination, no matter what. to be a woman is good, to be a man is evil. trans women disdain for manhood and maleness, so they are even more good than cis women because they are women (inherently good) by choice, and trans men are the most evil because they are men by choice, they abandoned the grace of womanhood, and cis men can't help but be evil, it's in their nature. its like terfism+ and this specific brand of bioessentialism is all over the fucking place. any time anybody says or implies that trans women are the most import kind of trans, and that trans men need to sit down and be quiet and know that the conversation is never actually about him and that he must endeavor to support trans women above himself always. that is at least the echo of baeddelism. it's a softer kind, one that gives the trans man a way to redeem himself, by supporting the More Gooder trans. it's part of why people on this site hate that we want to have our own word (transmisandry, androphobia, whatever) so fucking much, it pisses them off that we won't just shut up and do as we're told

being a trans man is being an invisible contradiction. to the sexist man, you're a girl way out line who needs to be taught a lesson through verbal, physical or sexual violence. to the sexist woman, you're a girl way out of line who needs to be taught a lesson through verbal, physical or sexual violence, because you're a traitor. to the baeddel and her ally, you're a boy way out of line who needs to be taught a lesson through verbal, physical or sexual violence, because you knew that men are the bad ones, you knew better, and you fell from grace on purpose, so you're a traitor

is it any wonder the detransition kink is so prevalent among trans men? just let that cook in your mind a bit and really chew on it

and that's just the conceptual stuff. that's not even digging into my personal anecdotes. i could also spend the next year rambling about the nuance between straight vs gay male violence against trans men, and straight vs gay female violence against trans men, or how trans men bully eachother in different ways to be one of the good ones to baeddel types or to prove himself man enough to deserve to exist, or how tme/tma binarism is JUST baeddelism 2, still placing trans men as the perpetual scapegoat and silent punching bag with trans women in the rhetorical position of power (being the Most Oppressed™️ means you have to shut up)(the woman/traitor/tme displeases me, beat her. it kinda all feels the same doesnt it, even if the logic is shifted) etc. but whatever you get the idea. we dont do womanhood properly, so we need to be punished, and men are evil, so be one of the good ones and don't bitch

reading comprehension check: am i transmisogynyst for not kissing ass or do i hate bioessentialism no matter who does it. also, am i being bioessentialist myself or am i just able to recognize that transness exists in the context of being raised one gender according to sex and transitioning (in some fashion) into something else (to some extent)

❗️❗️ This is asked entirely in good faith. This post is intended to open dialogue and help with solidarity and understanding. ❗️❗️

I would like to hear specifically from trans men and trans mascs how the system of [whatever the fuck you call the intersection of transphobia, misogyny, and specifically your gender- whether transandrophobia, isomisogny, antitransmasculinity, transandromisia, transmisandry, or any that I have missed as there are a lot of words to describe similar concepts] uniquely targets and affects you. Things that you feel other demographics do not experience. Reblogs and replies are very encouraged! If you would prefer, you could dm or send an ask to be added anonymously by me.

This is in the spirit of wanting to understand. I am listening. I encourage all non-trans-mascs to not speak on this topic and let trans mascs and trans men do the talking here. Reblog the post to spread it, but please say nothing.

Any and all people who identify as trans men and/or trans mascs are encouraged to participate.

This is not bait to start a fight. I will block without hesitation anyone who is actively being a shithead on this post. I want to hear and uplift your voices by getting it directly from you.

Click this to access the trans fem and trans women version of this post.