#this is mostly rambling lol sorry... but seriously how can i be like a normal person...

[hesitationss]

i truly don't mean to be so depressed, but it just feels so difficult to exist rn. i feel like early on in 2025, i realized there was like a veil over my existence for parts of 2023 and 2024 where it felt i was committing spiritual death against myself. i've since grown and built like meaningful friendships and support, but it always feels like there's something missing and unfulfilled. i feel lonely because i can't be with my long distance friends who are still in the place i used to live, but everyone has changed and so have i. even the very infrastructure of these cities have changed and maybe bcuz i'm also of a diaspora... i just feel like i'll always be somewhere "in between". i also feel lonely because i can't impose on people like i used to. everyone is so lonely and isolated and won't reach back when i reach forward. sometimes i cancel on people against my better interests. ahh idk also trying to be disciplined in work, life, political life... it's just a huge weight that prevents me from actually doing anything plus i've been triggered by some things that remind me that i'm not as healed as i though i was. i'll think to myself "well i'm 27, this shouldn't bother me anymore" and then it does...

last month IG decided to revivie my old account... both weird and nice, it reminded me that i've lived a nice a full life and have friends who have loved me from a long time, but also stirred up some not great memories. overall indifferent and creepy, but it was a harsh reminder that so many of the people that i meet now only know one version of myself and that unless we become really close, they'll probably never know all these other versions of myself... it's kind of sad. at the same time, i'm being treated in more meaningful and deep ways with others and i think this weight has also been making me emotional. seeing the evidence of love and deep connection last month made me really really happy last month, but now it feels so overwhelming...idk dear diary how can i exist, work, love, and feel like a person who had their physiological and emotional needs met growing up...

[hopefull-mindset]

Hi I'm the anon who sent the "rambling" ask about Nagito from like 2 weeks ago. I forgot to check for a response lol.

I wanted to elaborate on what I said about Nagito's backstory bc it was vague and I have Thoughts.

I actually don't think his casual attitude towards his past makes it harder to take seriously (if anything I think that adds to the tragedy of it). I was mostly just referring to the specific things that happen. One of my gripes about DR is that I feel like some characters have unnecessarily dark/tragic backstorys. Either bc I feel like they don't really need a dark past at all (eg Akane), or it's excessive to the point of being ridiculous.

I know Nagito's backstory is supposed to unbelievable to show how extreme his luck is, and that DR as a whole isn't exactly grounded in reality, but I feel like it would hit harder if it was just a little more believable.

Like, maybe his parents die in a car crash instead of a plane crash (or just make it a normal plane crash without the convoluted "the plane gets hijacked but then the hijackers get hit by a meteor but that also kills his parents"). The cancer is fine, but the dementia is overkill. Then there's the kidnapping thing which like. I find it hard to believe that the killer would just let him go after not getting what they wanted. It'd make more sense for him to have escaped on his own. Or we could just get rid of that entirely. If you want to drive home the fact that he has no family, just have him end up in some shitty orphanage or something.

Which brings me to my next point. It's implied that Nagito just lived alone after his parents died. But I find it hard to believe that an elementary school-aged kid could live by himself and have full control over his own finances. It'd make more sense if he ended up in some kind of foster care (or maybe just on the streets). I also think him being an orphan who doesn't get adopted/gets bounced around between foster homes would be fitting with his perceived worthlessness and desire to be loved, perhaps even more so than him being totally isolated.

Ok I think I covered everything (as far as canon events go at least). Sorry this turned into an essay lol.

Oh hello anon! Thank you for clarifying, I was a little perplexed as to how I should’ve responded to your ask. I don’t have much to really say about the events themselves, but I’ll try to add my two cents.

I do agree that it makes it sadder how casual he talks about it, I think I was more talking in behalf of the people that didn’t rethink his words when he claimed he was lying because of how unserious it felt with the music playing behind it. It’s so normal for him to experience these things that his layer back attitude is very unnerving for the normal person, which is utterly tragic.

I do see what you mean about not need every character to have some tragic messed up backstory, especially when it has no actual impact in the story itself. It’s good to expand a character through side content, but it gets too much. I think it works in favor for the sdr2 cast considering it shows that all of them have the potential to turn to despair due to their past experiences, and how Hope’s Peak doesn’t actually care for the students themselves and their own feelings towards their talents, but canon kicks itself in the crotch by never expanding more with these backstories in the actual storyline and how dr3 was handled ughh.

When it come to Komaeda’s backstory however, I do think it works for him when it comes to the absurdist writing because his entire existence is drenched in the absurdism danganronpa is known for. It would probably hit harder if Komaeda was more realistic and I understand that, but ultimately that’s not what Komaeda is. He is purposefully hard to relate to and hard to believe, only with real effort you can find yourself in him, and he even rejects that effort itself. Komaeda cannot survive in a series that isn’t Danganronpa because he is Danganronpa, a clunky mess that somehow works in its accidental genius.

I sound absurd myself, but when it comes to Komaeda you can only rely on your own suspense of disbelief to sympathize with him. Sorry for being a bummer to your roll because your criticisms are not at all wrong, I just personally don’t find it to be a problem myself.

About the killer and orphan thing, I think I could try to give some insight on them? Here’s one thing you forgot: he’s canonically implied to be a rich kid. Even if he isn’t thrown into situations like being on the streets or the foster care system, he still had other family members to be dropped onto, his status would still give him privileges like a nanny to watch over him, etc.

The killer, while I did find strange that he decided not to kill the rich kid after all, he definitely did target him because he was from a wealthy family. So what could that mean? Well obviously we could go for the heartbreaking answer of nobody in the extended family wanted to help him because of his problematic luck or annoyance of his existence, we could go for another that none of them were alive to actually get anything out of him since it took place in middle school, and he did say that his luck took direct action against him right before he was eventually taken into Hope’s Peak academy because of his lack of family left. It depends on when during middle school this happened.

So I guess there wasn’t any real consequence to leaving this lonely wealthy child on his own since there’s nothing nobody could actually do to lead back to them or would care enough to do anything. Upsetting I know, the unfortunate irony of being thrown away like trash for Komaeda is… well anyway I think the point of this event was to drive in Komaeda’s feeling of being unwanted, even by the worst of the worst of society, at least that’s what I think of it.

The only thing I question is how Komaeda himself personally describes his good fortune after what happened to his parents. What would a kid in elementary really need immense wealth and freedom for??? I find myself perplexed by his choice of words because it implies a lot. I know we could go the route of “his parents were terrible��� when it comes to the freedom part, but I think there’s a better answer to this.

This is an example of Komaeda justifying what happened to fit a narrative he’s formed because of, most likely, what society/the people around him has fed him and what he’s chosen to believe. I’ve already mentioned this before, but his mentality reflects specific societal beliefs to an exaggerated point because his life is exaggerated. Where any of these came from to make Komaeda think this: who freaking knows.

Sorry if this isn’t exactly what you were expecting, and I wish I could add more. I hope this was satisfying enough.

[meruz]

Aforementioned long ask post please excuse me while i try to figure out tumblr's new text editor. I’ll get into the art meme questions first and then the rest at the end.

Ok first of all thank you all for sending in questions! Giving me an excuse to talk hehe. I’ll address these in number order. Here’s a link to the ask meme for reference but also I’ll restate the question for ease of reading.

1. When did you get into art?

Super cliche answer but I don’t remember a time where I WASN’T the weird art kid! I started keeping a dedicated sketchbook when I was about 12? But here’s a page from my kindergarten journal about what I want to be when I grow up.

2. What art-related sites have you ever signed up for? 

LOL this is a weird question. Not sure why so many people want to know. Anyways I definitely had a dA. more than one dA account. I used to browse oekakis when I was a kid but I think I was only signed up to some small ones that internet friends owned. What else...? Mangabullet,Tegakie, Paintberri, iscribble back when that was a thing, instagram if that COUNTs, I used to post art on livejournal and dreamwidth too. Patreon, I guess. Gumroad, inprnt, bigcartel, storenvy all for selling stuff.

In terms of resources.. I have a schoolism account that I’m sharing with friends. Used to take classes on coursera for free. I signed up to textures.com for work recently haha. I can’t remember if I ever had an account on posemaniacs. Did they have accounts...? I definitely used to visit all the time.

3. Show us your oldest piece of art you have on hand.

Alright here’s me actually logging into my old deviantart account. These are from September 2008 So I was 13 years old. I don’t have a deviantart account from before then because 13 was the required age for having an account and I didn’t want to lie about my age because I wanted people to be impressed by how young yet clearly incredible at art I was LOL.

4. What defines your artistic style?

You guys are probably more equipped to answer this than me but uh... I wanna say... Focus on colors. And... a slightly heavy hand? Like confident... not always well-considered mark making HAH...

Also I think I have a pretty healthy mix of american comics/manga influences. I feel like people who are into american comics always think my art is too manga and people who are into anime/manga always think my art is too american. And I’m taking that as a good sign.

5. Do you practice other styles/have you tried other styles in the past?

I like to think I switch it up a bunch! I mean, these are pretty different, right?

I think I’ve mentioned this before but one thing I really took away from art school is that, for an illustrator at least, art style shouldn’t be consistent. Your greatest weapon is changing the aspects of your style based on the task, the emotions and message you want to illustrate etc. So depending on the project I’m working on, the fandom I’m drawing for, whether I want something to be funny or serious or dramatic, I’ll change things about my style all the time.

One thing I don’t rly post on here is really tight polished work and that’s because I do that for my day job haha. If you’re not paying me... I’m probably not gonna color in the lines.

6. What levels of artistic education have you had?

I have a whole ass diploma LOL. Bachelor of Fine Arts in Illustration. from the Rhode Island School of Design. And I had a great college experience tbh. Besides the student loans. If any of you guys are thinking about art school feel free to e-mail or message me questions or concerns, I’ll be happy to help. Be as honest as I can be.

7. Show us at least one picture you drew or sketched recently that you did not put on a public site.

heres the wandavision kids. Uhh what else do I have...I feel like I’m rummaging for loose change here...

assorted valentines prep doodles

8. What is your favourite piece that you have done?

Well, obviously this is gonna change all the time and generally it’s gonna be my most recent piece LOL. So yeah, why the hell not. I’ll say it’s this one. I have a pretty short memory which I count as a blessing for an artist. I don’t dwell that long on older work and it keeps me moving forward.

10. What do you like most about your art?

I like that it’s something that only I would make! I had this thought fairly recently and I wrote it down in my sketchbook, it’s pretty cheesy and rambling but it felt revolutionary at the time:

So yeah. I like my art best when it’s the most me and for me. And I like it least when it feels like I’m just making something for social media or for other people’s expectations or whatever.

14. What do you like drawing the most?

Kids in baggy clothing are like my go-to LOL idk if that’s obvious. but also I like being challenged so lately I’ve really loved drawing multi-character compositions, environments, weird angles, etc.

oh i LOVE drawing the underside of shoes lol. And bandages. People that are kinda beat up.. I think it comes from getting a bunch of cuts all the time. I’m always patching myself up and I want to patch characters up too.

15. What do you like drawing the least?

mmm I try to find something to like in every drawing but lets see... I don’t like doing commissions of people’s dogs. Just because it’s normally like... a family friend and my mom volunteered me without my consent and I don’t even really know what they’re expecting me to draw and I don’t even get to meet the dog. Also I’m not that great at dog anatomy. Trying to learn though.

18. What is your purpose for drawing?

This could have a million answers! Uhhh to GIT GOOD??? But also to express myself... and also to make money... I mean it depends on what the drawing IS. I draw fanart mostly to connect to people in the fandom so if you ever see me drawing fanart please take it as like an open invitation to talk to me about the character haha. 

20. How would you rank your art? (poor, mediocre, good, etc.)

Good!!! I have a lot of self-confidence primarily born out of ignorance and a short attention span. If I don’t think too hard about how many other artists are mindblowingly unfathombly good... its easy to think I’m good too! LOL

In all seriousness though, I think the opinion a person has of their art is like a crazy balancing act, right? Like you have to think you suck enough to want to get better but also you have to think you’re good enough to not want to give up. I think we’re all walking that line, I know I am! But also I’m a glass half-full type of person so. Most of the time I feel good about it.

22. List at least one of your “artspirations.”

This is a good question because I’ve been trying and failing to put together one of those “influence map” memes for like a full month now. What’s giving me a hard time is I feel like none of these are actually really obvious “““influences”““ in my art? Like it’s hard to see a lot of them in the work I make...? But idk maybe you guys’ll see what I can’t.

And these are just a couple! God there’s so many more. I could talk about other artists for ages, from all different genres of art. Daumier, Rockwell like every illustrator out there, Dana Gibson, Alex Toth, Hiroshi Yoshida, a lot of the Brandywine School. Lots of current working artists too, Karl Kerschl, frikkin Masashi Kishimoto lol, Jake Wyatt, Richie Pope, Edouard Caplain, Matt Cook, Sachin Teng, - lots of big internet artists, Sophie Li, Freddy Carrasco, Milliofish, Angela Sung... like all my friends from art school too. I could just keep going but I’ll stop for now lol.

24. Do you have a shameful art past? (recolour sprite comics, tracing art, etc.)

I mean if that’s how we’re defining shameful?? sure LOL. It’s not sprite comics but I used to do pokemon sprite recolors all the time. And I used to trace manga panels and color them... Granted this was all when I was like under 12 yrs old so it’s not even embarrassing. Can you really call it shameful when a 7 year old wets the bed or whatever? Not really. In fact some of these are cool as fuck. Look

25. Draw a picture!

Man I’m so tired now but here.

I used to get a lot of compliments for drawing people smiling lol but I don’t think I’ve drawn a lot of smiling lately.. here’s proof I’ve still got it.

OK MEME DONE. onto the rest.

I read this ask first thing when i opened my computer in the morning and it made me really emotional.. I’m so glad my sketches could help you!!

I think a lot of artists on social media talk about the struggle of making art but imo not enough people talk about the joy! Like I know it’s corny but. I really meant what I said at the beginning of that sketchbook about re-contextualizing art around process and progress > product and perfection. I think its super important..! The strength of messy, unfinished, and energetic art! For the feeling of it, for the love it!

That's crazy!!! I hope you like 'em. The whole line of x-books is really good rn imo.

Hi! I totally have the answer for digital stuff on my faq lol. But in terms of drawing on paper.. it varies! I tend to use sketchbooking and any on-paper doodling I do as a way to loosen up/warm-up or experiment. But right now my go-to aresenal is:

from top > bottom

- kuretake no.55 doublesided brush pen

- tombow fudenosuke

- muji 0.38 ballpoint

- medium size poscas

- grey tombow double brush pens

- good ol bic mechanical pencil

not EXACTly sure which inking you referring to from my sketchbook but if I had to take a guess it'd probably be the kuretake no55. That's been my main inker, lately. Great for sketching with the thin end too.

You can print out and eat my art if you like. Just please don't mass produce or re-sell. <3

Thanks! I've come to accept that my art is always gonna be sort of gestural and painty naturally. It's getting it to tighten up enough to be legible that's hard lol...

uh yeah lol I agree actually. I think yolei is great.

I assume these asks are related? LOL

1) Yeah totally true. I love David.

2) I don’t take requests, sorry! But if you want to commission me to draw Legion i would be MORE than happy to. Just e-mail me at isellhotdogs@gmail.com.

<33333333333333333333333333

[angelhummel]

Unpopular opinion

So I sat down to analysis the different seasons and decide which I like best, and I remain torn.

Season 1. Really great comedy bits including one line quotes. The first half of two thirds seemed to be all Rachel or Finn or Will or goddamn teenage pregnancy. It really was at its best when it was a Kurt’s story and all the brilliance that is Chris Colfer. Musically, it wasn’t the best though there are some very fine performances- mostly involving Kurt or Mercedes.

Season 2 I loved this season mainly because of Kurt, Blaine and the delight that became Klaine. Love everything Blaine and Warblers were involved in, Kurt’s magnificence again (As if we never said goodbye is just out of this world). A really good strong season.

Season 3 I loved the music throughout this season - so many highlights from the vast majority of the ND. But I agree that there were too many characters, too many sub plots, and in so many episodes the plot seemed just to revolve round the particular song they wanted to use. No continuity of storyline in many cases.

Season 4. I know this season gets a lot of hate but I think musically, there are so many gems. Obviously the Break Up was traumatic, but so on point musically. I really wasn’t invested in the newbies - love Unique completely and loved Jacob’s performances but wasn’t bothered about rest. Loved the episodes where Klaine were involved, I do and Girls(and boys) on film and fun episodes like Dynamic Duets, Diva and Guilty Pleasures. But hated so many of the rest, particularly the tail end.

Season 5. First half - loved the brilliance of the two Beatles episodes. Oh Klaine.... loved the Quarterback tribute, but then the Lima part just started to get tedious. I am out of the closet in respect of my love for the Puppet Master, but then I love Blaine and Darren is just great at comedy. Second half in NY was better, but couldn’t it just have one episode of domesticity and not arguments or drama? It really felt like a different writer every week and the remit was Klaine arguing. And the Rachel story just dragged on....

Season 6 The train crash.... though painful to watch episode 1, 3 and 5 was Chris and Darren at their absolute acting best. Great build up to A Wedding, but then I just got bored with the rest of the season. Absolute no nos - Blainofsky, Sue and Will’s vendetta, even Rachel/Will silibess, Sam idiocy, Child Star etc Musicalky this was very weak. Would have loved to have heard all the alumni sing more.

Phew -,sorry to ramble , this is just how I see the seasons!!!

Well I recently redid my own ranking of the seasons here so I’ll just go through this like a normal multi-opinion “unpopular opinion” post to agree or disagree lol. (Also seriously, never apologizing for rambling in my inbox! I’m happy for every long ass post I get, even if it takes me a while to answer!)

Season 1 - Neutral. I said this one was my absolute favorite but honestly it’s probably neck and neck with s5 for me. Even tho for the most part it was focused on characters that I’m not crazy about, it was still a fun watch for me. I just think there was something more simple and enjoyable about it in that first season where it was more offbeat. Wasn’t trying too hard to be woke or preachy or whatever. There’s still some offensive humor that makes me cringe or roll my eyes but idk. It was more offbeat and almost parody-like and I respect it for that. Also obviously I agree with Kurt storylines and Kurtcedes music moments being the highlights 

Season 2 - Agree. Again, there’s a surprising amount of stuff I dislike this season. But we have Kurt, we have Blaine, we have Klaine, we have the Warblers. You can’t hate this season

Season 3 - Strongly Agree. I hate this season lmao. Your critiques are mild but 100% valid

Season 4 - Agree. Literally I forget that Wonderful exists bc it’s sandwiched between so many shitty episodes. I forget there’s a good episode there at the end lmao. I love the newbies even if their drama is painfully droll and hard to get through. I honestly hate The Break Up lmao but on music alone, it’s probably the best of the season. There’s some episodes I really like but honestly I think I’m in the minority here. I know a lot of the most popular episodes that season, I’m not really a fan of :/

Season 5 - Agree. I adore this season, idk what else to say. New New York is my #1 episode over all, and I love all the NY stuff. There are a small handful of eps I can do without but my love for the rest of it overshadows that completely

Season 6 - Strongly Agree. One of the definite highlights of the season is just Darren and Chris being amazing actors. The improvised scene in the elevator?? And also lots of great Klaine kisses. I hate the majority of episodes this season, and even the ones I tolerate aren’t any higher than like 70s-80s in my episode ranking. The music is SO WEAK (except for Jagged Little Tapestry, the songs in that one are FIRE) and the humor just doesn’t work for me. None of it works for meee I hate it (:

[thehoneyedhufflepuff]

2019 Top Five

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2019. Tag as many writers/artists/etc as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

thank you for tagging me @ninemagicks @sourcherrymagiks @f-ing-ruthless-baz @sharkmartini 💜

2019 was the year I found Carry On & this lovely fandom. It was the year I started writing & drawing again after many years of being creatively stagnant (& I wrote a LOT; over 310k published on AO3 & who knows how much is currently sitting unpublished in my Google Drive). It’s been a bit of a bumpy ride—lots of self-doubt & uncomfortable feelings about my own work—but this book ultimately gave me my creativity back, & some wonderful friends, & self-growth, day by day. I’ve been in a bit of a funk since the end of the countdown, & especially these last few weeks, so I think this will be a good opportunity for me to reflect on the things I’m proud of & try to say some nice things about my own work. Let’s get the party started.

1. Between the Lines

Y’all probably aren’t surprised, right? I feel like BTL has really helped me grow as a writer while telling a story that’s very personal & important to me. When I first started this fic, it was meant to be just a little bookshop AU. I’m very proud of what it’s become, & the reception it’s had has blown me away. I appreciate everyone who’s read it/reading it/yet to read it so very, very much. I never would’ve guessed that I’d still be working on this fic, let alone how long it would be. I think it’s probably my best work stylistically & in terms of the story, even if sometimes I cringe when I reread the beginning. (I either cringe or really like my work when I reread it, there’s no in-between.) (I mostly really like this one when I need to go back & study it.)

IDK, I’ve talked about BTL a LOT the last eight months. I’m not sure what else I can say about it right this moment, but I’m sure I’ll think of something eventually, & hopefully y’all aren’t sick of hearing about it because I don’t think I can help it.

🦖💛💙🦖

2. A Pair of Splendid Morons

This fic is still near & dear to my heart. I like to say it was the first fic I finished in the fandom, but it was actually my second (I don’t...like to talk about Merry Gentlemen. At all. I think I’ve been scarred since I got a scathing anon review in the comments [which is why I no longer allow anon comments on AO3, RIP].) (I made some...choices with that fic. ANYWAY.)

So Splendid Morons was the second fic I finished in the fandom (it’ll be a year old on Valentine’s Day; can you believe?!). It’s my second-longest (after BTL, of course, lmao) & I wrote it in just six weeks, which is lightning-fast by my standards. (This set me up to think I was a fast writer. I was sorely disappointed when I discovered that’s not the case.) It’s also my most-read fic, though BTL is super close to taking the crown.

My writing’s improved a lot since I first posted APOSM, I think, but I also think it holds up pretty well! (I do worry sometimes that I wrote Simon too soft, & there are a few mistakes I made by not properly researching [ahem, looking at you, Suitgate].) (One thing I found slightly amusing was the influx of readers this one got after Wayward Son, lmao. This fic is not in the vein of WS at ALL.) (Okay, that might be sort of false? I do mention trauma etc. in the fic, but I guess the main difference is that Simon & Baz really try to face these things together instead of apart. And also they communicate, albeit somewhat awkwardly. It’s a dream come true.)

For anyone who hasn’t read it, it’s a Carry On-era canon first time fic, & it spawned my post-Carry On series that is now an AU. I still have stories to tell on that timeline, but it’s sort of hard to forget Wayward Son completely, you know? When I first started writing this, it was technically still possible. Now it’s only possible as an AU, which is fine. (I’m not really sure where I’m going with this...I just have weird feelings, lol.) OH, also this was the first time I ever wrote a sex scene. I think it’s actually pretty good for a first time (mine & theirs, lmao).

3. Housewarming

Sort of cannot believe I’m picking the smuttiest thing I’ve ever written as one of my top fics of the year, but also??? I’m proud of this fic. It’s super hard to write smut—no euphemism—& I reread this one recently & thought I did a pretty good job. (I was actually slightly ashamed after I posted it, but I got over that once I got some nice comments. Nice comments are always very helpful.) I’ll share one here, which I think is fine since AO3 comments are public anyway:

Your writing just has so much LOVE in it and you write their companionship and connection so beautifully. You know, I wasn't going to read First Bite because that's not my kind of thing and usually grosses me out, but I've loved your other stuff so I gave it a shot. Turns out, it's just that stories like that tend to focus on the kink and grit, but you focus on everything that's good between them instead. And then you show how those good things lead to the perhaps more-than-vanilla coupling.

This fic, too, is grimy and steamy, but it's also sweet because you include the right details... This is not a smut fic of the rough kinky variety. It's a smut fic about two people reveling in a sacred space/act they've created together. Props to you because the difference is palpable. (I have never in my life written so much about sex on a fic review so sorry about this ramble lmao)

Y’all...this comment meant so much to me. This is what it’s really about, you know? I’m trying to show them expressing love, & this just made me so happy. Numbers-wise, stories with a focus on sex seem to get fewer kudos/comments, & I think part of that is the anonymity factor (which I totally understand), but I just want to say that something like this means A TON to those of us who write stuff like this. Many thanks to @sappho-said-i-could ; this comment single-handedly made me much less self-conscious about this particular work. 💜

4. Crashing Through

This is one of my favorite ficlets from the countdown, & also my most popular countdown fic on Tumblr in terms of notes (not that that’s a deciding factor, but it DOES make me happy). It’s a little alternate ending to WS (just a what if? for the beach scene at the end of the book.)

Like many, Wayward Son hit me really hard. I love Wayward Son a lot, but I spent days feeling so emotionally drained, & then weeks just unable to write. This was one of the first things I wrote that even had anything to do with Wayward Son, & fun fact! I wrote it all by hand in the car on a day trip. While it’s obviously not a canon-possible scene at this point, I still really like it. (I reblogged it yesterday as part of my Fandom Anniversary Reblog Thingy that I’m doing, & I read it & thought, Huh. Sometimes I’m decent at this whole writing thing.)

I actually felt stuck when I went to write Be With Me after this, because I didn’t think I could top the way they said I love you in this one (I still...sort of prefer this to the scene in Be With Me but oh well, what’re you gonna do).

5. “Love”

Can y’all tell I don’t normally name my art pieces? I don’t normally name them. I’m super proud of this one; it was the last piece of art I made in 2019, & I think it’s one of my best. It’s one of my least “popular” pieces in terms of notes, but I still really like it a lot & I did a side-by-side comparison of this next to my first fanart last year & it was super encouraging to see my progress. Sharing art has been scarier for me than sharing writing, but seeing how far I’ve come since June was very helpful.

ANYWAY! BTL is super close to my heart, as y’all know, & I had a moment where I just really wanted to draw them in this moment where they’re finally getting some time to just be together & enjoy the newness of their relationship. This was done in copic marker for the most part, though I also used colored pencil for their blushes (my brand 😏) & Baz’s sweater. (At one point I thought I’d completely ruined the whole piece because of how Baz’s sweater was looking, but then @knitbelove gave me some sweater advice & I went back to work & held my breath & everything turned out okay in the end.) This is also the last traditional piece of art I’ve done, & I should probably change that soon. (Please give the original post some love if you’re so compelled. 💜💜💜)

I think I’m a few days late in terms of doing this, so I’m not sure who all has gone yet! I’ll tag @warriorbeeofthesea @krisrix @pipsqueakparker @icarus-n-flames @vkelleyart @singerofsimplesongs @fight-surrender @knitbelove @annabellelux @pitchpatronus @subpar-selkie @neck-mole @cynopoe @gibbarts & anyone else who sees this & wants to do it! Seriously, that means you! 😉

[meanderfall]

I haven't seen many people talk about it, but Temple was right, the Reds & Blues *do* treat Caboose with kid gloves. They see him as stupid and sometimes annoying, but ultimately harmless and sweet and childlike (most of the fans do too, as did the last two writers). Alpha was really the only person who ever treated him like an adult (he still found him annoying, but tbh I think a lot of that was just bluster), who acknowledged that he was capable and *dangerous*. Maybe Tex did too, but [1/3]

[2/3] they didn't have many on screen interactions.And at first Wash did, but after Alpha died no one did. Which I think wasactually on purpose in regards to Epsilon? Because even though Epsilonacknowledges Caboose's strength at the end of Season 10, he still treatsCaboose like the others do. Whereas Alpha was *always* aware of how destructiveCaboose could and would be, to the point where he'd hide behind him in diceysituations because he didn't want to get caught in Caboose's crossfire.

[3/3] I also thinkit's a little interesting that Temple was supposed to analogous to Alpha(although how tf did the Director know that Alpha would be enough like Templeto make the stalemate work again? Also the stalemate only really worked in thefirst place because Temple and Biff were friends so?? But I digress!), and hadalso been the only one since Alpha died to acknowledge that Caboose was anadult, and even though he was cruel about it he still treated Caboose like hedid everyone else.

Hello, Anon! It was so nice to see this in my inbox omg, and I’m sorry this took so long, life has been hectic and stressful! Not to mention, I wanted to take the time to ponder about this, and lol I’m definitely going to be rambling a lot woops.

You’re absolutely right, anon. We, the fans, and the writers and even the BGC tend to baby Caboose a lot. Mostly, at least in my case, because he tends to exude innocence and naivety and you just wanna protect him as much as possible from the real world. But just because he does seem innocent and naive, it doesn’t mean he’s a kid. Alpha was probably the one who treated him the most as an equal, though that’s probably mostly because he’s an asshole to everyone. (Though maybe not?? Remember that RVB 360 video with Church doing the Dad Knee to Junior and talking to him?? Maybe he does know the difference between how to treat a kid and an adult. Won’t stop him from complaining about the kid around said kid though lol.)

I’m not going to lie, anon, these asks gave me some kind of existential crisis as I tried to figure out what exactly is the difference between a kid and an adult, besides ages, and how we’re supposed to treat them, (because it seemed like part the argument that you were implying about how Caboose is an adult and doesn’t need to be treated like a child was that he’s dangerous, and that didn’t sit well with me tbh so here I am over-analyzing a simple ask yet again lmao im sorry if i was wrong or misinterpreted).

Anyway, I’m pretty sure the difference has do with cognitive development. Kids’ thought processes are pretty simple, and this is especially clear from their idea of morality. I’ve heard my younger siblings exclaim so many times that something was unfair, and y’know sometimes they were right, but other times they weren’t taking into consideration other circumstances that made it so the situation was fair. Not to mention, that they’re selfish, through no fault of their own. So far, in their minds, they can’t really manage to consider other people’s point of view, and unless they’re taught differently and actually make the effort, that won’t change. And that’s where the difference between how adults are supposed to treat kids and other adults comes in. Adults, esp their guardians, are supposed to help them grow. They are there to encourage more complex thought processes and and help them walk through the logic if necessary. And they are there to offer advice bc adults have so much more life experience then kids do.

Caboose isn’t really like a kid at all. A lot of people might mistake the things he says as him being simple-minded but really, he just sees things differently from others and processes it differently. And that of course, seems weird and probably child-like to the others because by now they’re so used to how ‘normal’ adult minds work. And like, there are so many examples of posts on this site of adults or teenagers being surprised or caught off-guard by something a kid said or did, so I guess when the BGC encountered Caboose and had that happen to them, they kind of went Caboose = child.

Not to mention, Caboose is easily one of the most caring and empathetic characters on the show??? He loves his friends so much, esp Church, and would do anything for them. (Good examples of Caboose having complex thought processes and empathy: his speech to Tucker in s12 about how he shouldn’t be mad at Church, that episode of s14 ‘Caboose’s Guide to Making Friends’ or whatever it was called, s8 in general when he kept wanting to help Epsilon esp the end of s8. ‘But they’ll die!’ he says. He is completely aware of the possible consequences of what’s happening. He isn’t dumb.)

Anyway, back to the rest of the asks! About them treating Caboose with kid’s gloves.... I waffle between saying you’re absolutely right and going “Weeeellll....”. Because Temple says that right before he reveals that Church really is truly dead and Tucker is trying to stop him from saying it. And you’re right. Caboose shouldn’t have that hidden from him. He’s fully capable of hearing the truth and starting to process the grief. But the thing is, isn’t that what he was already doing in the beginning of s15? Before Temple sent them that corrupted message and gave him hope again? (Not to mention, in the grand scheme of things it probably isn’t that weird to thing Church could’ve honestly come back, he’s died and come back so many times.) And, as a friend, wouldn’t you want to do anything to protect your friend from getting hurt or from grief? Especially when the news is coming from your enemy? Of course Tucker wanted to stop Temple from revealing the truth like that. And it kind of happened in a tense moment. And Tucker hadn’t really been at his best emotionally all season (which believe me, I’m kind of displeased with :/    s15 Tucker is not my Tucker.) (The Blood Gulch Chronicles was probably the best in terms of Tucker treating Caboose like an equal. They definitely had sibling bond there, annoying each other and trying to get Dad’s Church’s attention XD)

I think Wash is pretty good about Caboose though. I still remember that s11 speech when he validated Caboose’s feelings of loss and asked for forgiveness for not being a better leader when he really needed him. I’d probably need to re-watch the seasons for myself in order to really confirm if they treat him like a child constantly that can’t comprehend what’s happening. It’s hard to tell for sure, because the writers kind of fuck that up from time to time, making Caboose seem dumber and the others reacting more harshly to it. Though where do we draw the line of them baby-ing him and caring for him? Like when Sarge let’s Caboose push the button in s3 and calls him a ‘litle rascal’ (i think?), is Sarge treating him like a kid there or just engaging in his enthusiasm? Or in s7 and s8 whenever they leave Caboose behind out of the fights, are they doing it to stop him from accidentally hurting others or because they genuinely think he’d be useless in the fight? Whenever they decide not to explain something to him, are they doing it because they think it’s a waste of time to explain something Caboose won’t understand anyway? (Personally, whenever Caboose misunderstands what someone explained to him, I think it has to do with a lack of concentration than just not being able to comprehend what they’re telling him. He probably has a tendency to drift. And he can concentrate when it’s important, so I think he’s okay) There are probably more examples, but I can’t think of more, I really do need to do a rewatch goddamn.

One last thing! About how Temple is analogous to Church and the stalemate. Correct me if I’m wrong (and I might seriously be, I watched s15 with friends, so I probably missed a good quarter of information), but isn’t the similarities between the two groups completely coincidental? Because Alpha wasn’t implanted and put into Blood Gulch until after Project Freelancer was destroyed, and Temple and the others were in an simulation outpost while Freelancer was still running, evidenced by Carolina and Tex showing up. And I don’t think it would be too hard for them to purposefully create a stalemate? The Counselor probably evaluated them and interviewed them, and learnt that Temple and Bif were friends, and just created the teams in such a way that they would either more or less take charge of their respective teams or be too lazy to fight, creating a stalemate between the two. Also I’m pretty sure Florida created the Blood Gulch teams on his own??? so it really is a coincidence. A freak-ish one for sure, and obviously kind of contrived because it was for plot, but it isn’t that bad.

Also, totally jumping off that one tiny thing you said about how Temple and Alpha were the ones to treat Caboose like an adult. First, I’m about 99% sure the reason why that’s the case if because they’re both huge assholes omg nothing will stop them from treating you like a dumbass. And, this is totally a more personal thought process that I’m just shoving at you, even though me and my friend spent most of our watch saying things like “Alpha would never do that!”, looking back on it, I think Alpha would. Keep in mind, Alpha was an AI created by Leonard Church. A man that when his wife died and he had been powerless to stop it, started torturing his own mind in the hope’s of one day creating an AI of his wife, and performing psychological experiments with the people under his command, who he is supposed to guide and train, and on his own daughter. If there had been a clear cause for what had happened, like in the case of Bif’s death, he probably would’ve gone absolutely insane in his quest for vengeance, like Temple did. And Alpha would’ve done the same, at least, probably before he had been tortured and fragmented. Afterwards, he didn’t really have much emotions or energy to bother with vengeance plots.

Anyway, thank you for coming to my inbox! I hope you enjoyed this read through lmao, though it’s probably filled with stuff you already know and understand! Also looking back on it, I realize I’m all over the place about whether the BGC treat Caboose like a kid woops. I might do a rewatch just for this lol.

[skiesofthesketchy]

Drunk

AN\\: lol it’s been literally forever. Oops. Anyway, I wrote this. So here you go. Let me know what you think! I take requests!!,,, unless ur request is like lame and I dont feel like it idk. Luv u all <3

Pairing: Dylan Sprayberry x reader ((sorry I don’t like putting in (Y/N) so I just put in Zoe okay))

Word count: 1,754

Warnings: na

I walk through the automatic doors and am greeted with an onslaught of people rushing in every direction, knocking into one another and looking frantic. I look side to side, trying to figure out where to find it in this mess of bodies. I see the produce aisle and start heading towards it. A lady in front of me spills popcorn everywhere. I keep walking, picking up my speed now, and bumping into people passing by. Suddenly, alarms start going off and sprinklers from the tall ceilings go off. People are yelling now and rush to the exit. But I’ve only got one thing on my mind and I’m not leaving here without it. I toss the hood of my sweatshirt up over my already soaked hair and stick my elbows out to plow past the people blocking my way. Suddenly, I see them.

The bananas. And there’s only one bunch left. I lunge for them and shout in victory as I finally manage to get ahold of them. I blink and discover someone else’s greedy hands on my bananas. I look up to a death glare matching my own, but on the face of none other than Ellen DeGeneres. I will not be defeated by her. I snatch the bananas away from her but the bunch breaks, leaving me with only one banana in my grasp, and five in hers. I cannot believe I have failed. I am a disgrace. Ellen smirks at me and pushes past me, sloshing in the puddles beneath our feet. The supermarket is empty now except for me, but I am too ashamed to move and I let the water from above soak me.

“Makin’ my way downtown. Walkin’ fast, faces pass and I’m homebound.”

Startled by my ringtone, I jolt up wondering where the hell I am. Oh, just my bedroom. I rub my eyes as I lazily reach for my cell phone. I pick it up and accidentally yawn instead of saying hello.

“Oh shit, Zoe. I’m sorry to wake you up.” I knew that voice all too well. Then again, the ringtone gave it away. 

“What? Oh no, you didn’t wake me up. I was just um...” yeah, I’m obviously still half asleep. I laugh softly, “Okay you did. What’s up Dyl?” 

“I’m really sorry to bother you, like so so sorry, the sorriest ever, but can you pick me up? Please?” You imagined him doing puppy dog eyes right now. He sounded pretty out of it.

“Dylan, have you been drinking again?” I asked him, already knowing the answer, as I start lacing up my converse. 

“Uhhh maybe?” I rolled my eyes, now throwing on a jacket. Typical Dylan, always needing me to pick him up in the middle of the night. I mean, I do lose a lot of sleep because of that boy, but I don’t mind. I’d rather him be safe instead of trying to drive himself home drunk. Plus, I feel somewhat honored that he would call me of all people when he needs help, if that makes sense. Not to mention, I may have a teeny, tiny crush on him. 

“Alright bud, where you at?”

“The elementary school.”

“Okay. I’ll be there soon.” 

“Thank you so much, Zo. I can always count on you.”

“Yeah yeah. I’m great, I know. What would you do without me?” I tease. I grab my car keys and head out to my car.

“Honestly, I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about that a lot actually,” he said quietly. Confusion crossed my face. I wonder what he means by that. 

“Okay Dyl, I’ll be there in 10.” I’ll just ask him about it when I pick him up. And with that, I hung up and headed towards the school. 

I pull up to the parking lot of the small elementary school in the quiet neighborhood. I don’t see Dylan anywhere. I drive past the lit entrance to the school and towards the fence that surrounds the playground. My headlights reveal a figure on one of the swings, back facing me. I wait a few minutes for Dylan to get into my car but he doesn’t even turn around. He knows I’m here because of the lights.

I turn off the engine and hop out of the car. “Dylan, what are you doing? Come on, let’s get you home.”

He looked back at me and motioned for me to come over.  I quietly make my way to the swing beside Dylan and sit. Something about him is off. I mean, I know he’s drunk, but he is normally very childlike and happy when he’s drunk. A few more minutes of silence go by before I can’t stand it anymore. “Dylan,” I say, but he doesn’t respond or even look at me. “What’s wrong?”

Finally, he turns to me and I can see waves of emotions behind his eyes even in the darkness, but I can’t seem to read any of them. “I’ve just been thinking about some stuff lately,” he says, and turns back to look into the darkness. 

“What kind of stuff?” A few more moments of silence go by, and I wait in patience as I lightly swing myself by tapping my foot on the ground. I’ve never seen him like this- so distraught and confused. It’s like he’s debating something within his own mind. Debating on whether to tell me or not. 

I’m beginning to think he’s not going to answer when he turns to look at me. I can barely make out his face in the darkness but I can feel his eyes piercing into me. “Mostly you.”

I can feel my heart speed up and I don’t have the courage to look away, to even move. My mouth opens for me to speak, but no words come out. “Uh- um. How come?” I finally manage and I turn away and continue swinging.

I can still feel his eyes on me but I pretend not to notice as I wait for his answer. “Because I’m wondering if I even have a chance.”

My head snaps back to his direction and he looks.... ashamed? 

“A chance with me?” I honestly can’t believe this. I never in a million years thought he would ever see me as more than a friend. “What makes you say that, Dyl?”

He let out an exasperated sigh. “Because I’m just some loser that spends more nights drunk than sober, and always calls you for help. You probably only see me as someone you have to take care of like some kid or something.” His somber demeanor is long gone by now, as he explodes with desperate emotion. “Oh god, nevermind. I shouldn’t have said anything. I shouldn’t have even called you. You’re probably so fucking tired of me. Oh god, I’m sorry Zo. Forget I said anything.” His rambling ended with him storming away.

Before he could get too far and without a second thought, I grabbed his arm and turned him towards me. He was avoiding my eyes and I could tell he was clenching his jaw. “You are not a loser. Not even close.” I looked down and entwined my fingers with his. “The fact that you would even think that just makes me so sad, because I care about you so so much Dyl.” 

I couldn’t stop my voice from cracking but I blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. He finally looked at me and I could tell his eyes were as glossy as mine. “And you are not some child that I have to parent. Don’t ever think that you’re a burden on me, because you’re not, okay? You can count on me for anything and I am always happy to help.” 

He looked down and said nothing. “I mean it, Dylan.”

I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him close. He immediately gave in to the hug and buried his head in the crook of my neck. I’m not sure how long we stayed like that until he broke the silence.

“I really like you, Zo,” Dylan said with eyes boring into mine. “I mean, I’m pretty sure I actually love you but I’m not gonna tell you that right now or I’d scare you away. Except I just said that out loud already, huh?” His face squished as he became embarrassed. “I’m sorry. I’m drunk.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, which made him look at me optimistically. I honestly can’t believe he likes back. “It’s okay Dyl,” I said, bringing him closer to me again. “I’m pretty sure I kinda love you too.” 

His smiling face matched mine and we sort of laughed at the whole situation. Both our faces beaming happily now, I noticed Dylan look down at my lips, and bit his in the process. He leaned in but his lips came in contact with my cheek as I turned my head. “Let’s get you home now,” I said, walking away towards the direction of my car.

When I didn’t hear him respond I looked over my shoulder to find him right where I left him, mouth agape and disbelief across his face.

“What?”

“But, we just did the whole “confessing our love to each other” thing. Like in all those crappy movies you love. And- and you’re just gonna leave me hangin?”

“Oh please,” I laughed. “You probably won’t remember any of this. You can barely walk straight!” I started walking again.

He jogged to catch up with me. “Trust me. I’ll remember.” I went to open the door of my car, but Dylan leaned against it, arms folded and blocking me from getting in. The seriousness of the night washed away and became playful. I saw the smirk on his face and knew what he wanted.

“K, how bout this. If you remember everything that happened tomorrow, then you can have your kiss.” Dylan did not seem amused.

“I pinky promise, okay?” I held out my pinky and he looked at it skeptically. He knows that I do not break pinky promises, no matter what. After a few seconds of contemplation, he finally locked his pinky with mine. “Now move! It’s late and we both have stuff to do tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Dylan said, shuffling over to the passenger side of the car. “And promises to keep,” he smirked. I rolled my eyes, but couldn’t stop the smile playing at my lips. 

...

[geek-gem]

Lynner Takes All

5:15 pm I’ve finally watched the whole episode.

Okay I’m gonna explain why I couldn’t watch the whole thing earlier. My dad wanted me to help with this new big tv that’s like 90 inches or some shit and heavy. It was kind of like an hour and half hour mainly. But also I was waiting for the moment where me and him have to pick it up. Yet he called one of our neighbors and I even said they were like equally matched just it was easier for them.

I don’t know why I was surprised. Including I was going like Superman arms to myself…I was trying to give myself reassurance. No one else heard. Also yeah looked yesterday’s Loud House is on. I only picked up the middle with the stand yet they were mostly doing the lifting. Including I was standing around after that yet most of the stuff was done. We just had to take the old living room TV and put it in the garage and it’s lighter yet still heavy. After that fed the dog and took a shower.

Seriously I was surprised I was expecting for this unbelievable moment. Also hearing Rita Loud get her keys I thought someone was coming to my room. Yet seriously was surprised and good my dad’s friends helped us he’s a pretty good guy and he explained that stuff was quite easy.

Including just saying I did pause the episode yet seems my tv doesn’t pause for long. Including rewinded but it didn’t show it and fast forward to get the time arranged right.

So I watched the 5:00 pm showing.

I found it mainly okay yet it was enjoyable funny.

The episode spoilers so the episode is about the siblings are sick of Lynn rubbing it in their faces each time she wins and one of them being her 300th win. So they try to beat her, when they do she goes crazy and decide to try to let her beat them. But Leni fucks shit up taking throwing the game as Lori would say littertly. Thus revealing more of Lynn learning how her siblings feel.

She apologizes and mainly not in person she gets excited when she’s not in their faces and the other siblings don’t mind that. Including Lincoln mentioning at least it’s not in their faces.

The reason I talk about the plot story cause I wanted to give a very quick nutshell of what to expect.

Just saying before I paused it saw a bit of it. I think before Lynn says it’s her 300th win.

It was honestly silly. Also I was a bit bothered that they don’t try to talk to her. Yet you know… I seriously question why I even question and think these kids are gonna act like mature adults.

In a way you are hearing this from a guy who in a way wants Zack Snyder’s Sonic The Hedgehog yet I’m like a younger Zack Snyder who’s watches cartoons, lots of movies, and plays a lot of video games including Sonic.

Yet I’m glad it goes to that when Leni fucks up ha sorry normal to smile yet it’s good that they decide to reveal that.

Also my stupid thoughts maybe man, Lynn might rub it off and be stupid still rubbing her wins in their faces. Honestly I’m talking about kids from the ages of 1 to 17.

Okay I decided to change the channel and didn’t know what to change to I checked it’s on OWN now. I just don’t give a shit about Welcome To The Wayne. Okay it can’t suck just I haven’t watched a episode fully maybe I wanna hear from people. Sorry my head saying shit.

Including when Lily gets not attacked but covered by her blocks when Lynn just runs by her and it’s like she’s done with this shit or some shit.

Really I can understand it’s a kids show yet that doesn’t exuse just it got better as the episode went on no it doesn’t suck.

I feel some episodes seriously could be done better.

Also I like Lynn. Yet bothered by her actions. But what well…they could be reasonable. Including people talking about. Seriously she’s this adorable little gal mate.

Whatever else forgot and just I’m not giving a shit ha sorry normal to smile. But it was the final episode of the week. My favorite of the week was mainly, “Garage Banned” and my least favorite was the first new one…I don’t like it and I don’t wanna title it sorry…..normal to smile ugh man, “ARRGH You For Real” good my phone remembers the title.

The other episodes were all enjoyable in their own ways mate.

Including I question how I react to these episodes. Also when I make a joke of myself since I’m a fan of the DCEU and I seriously question myself what the fuck almost left the duck…typos yet other shit. Almost put also again yet also Sonic that’s what I mean I’m a fan of that too.

Again also almost left , “ not this but those…typos…

Thanks @fangirl20 and your friend also @loudannoyinglincoln for liking this well the last post…same person I think so theirs a new icon ha sorry normal to smile.

Got tags down now 2 pm isn’t a time now where I have to get ready or 5 pm lol normal to smile just nice man…no seriously good I don’t have to worry at times about times.

I’m just rambling on. Mainly no nothing sucked sorry my head. Really I enjoyed most of the new episodes. My head is saying random shit. Honestly we had some good episodes this week okay normal to smile.

edit forgot normal to smile 5:40 pm chill now 5:41 pm I’ll stop sorry man chill edit 5:56 almost left 55 so watched the latest Shadow759 video lol okay normal to smile. Sorry yet wanted to say I really enjoyed this week despite the first episode 5:57 pm sorry ticks

[niceness-before-knives]

For the character development questions: 1, 8, 9, 14, 15, 18, 19, 24, 27, 29, 32, 39, and 40 for Mir? (sorry it's a lot, these are really good questions and I love learning about Mir. if you don't want to do all of them that's totally fine!!)

:DDDD!!!!! You're too sweet! Thank you so much for liking Mir. He's really dear to me so it warms my heart a lot knowing other people like learning about him. Like, seriously. Makes my whole week and then some. <3 Thank you thank you!

I'm also gonna answer this in parts because I love all of these questions to death but I don't think I'll be able to answer them in full until tomorrow/Friday and I hate leaving messages sitting in my inbox for that long (and because this is gonna be absurdly long too, haha~). So, here’s Part One! :D

1. How do they move and carry themselves? Pace, rhythm, gestures, energy?

There's probably a small note in the back of his head that he should carry himself with a bit more pomp and circumstance since Inquisitor and all, but it's really not in his nature. He's aggressively causal, moving with a lot of extra animation and energy like he's begging to be noticed. Like, Mir doesn't so much as walk as he jumps, bounces and pops up all over the place. Even when he's standing/sitting, it's not still. He makes himself known, fidgeting about and talking with his hands. Always talking with his hands, that one.

That being said, his pace overall is probably a bit slower than you'd expect from all the movement. He's not exactly go!-go!-go!, so much as oh!-wow!-look! mostly because he does like to stop and smell the roses. A lot. :'l

8. Where and when do they seem most and least at ease? Why? How can you tell?

Least at ease is the easier of the two to spot because Mir tends to do a 180 on what you'd expect from him. Normally, Mir enjoys engaging with people, touching everything and everyone in sight and being a very presence-loud kind-of person. When he stops being at ease though, all of that goes away. Don't touch him. Don't talk to him. Don't engage. Why it happens is normally just bad head days. Being Inquisitor is tough, it gets to him and when it does, even being near his friends doesn't help put him at ease. It probably makes it worse actually because he tends to lash out stronger when he knows a vulnerable spot he can hit hard. So, yeah. You don't see Mir? He's generally not at ease with life and is decompressing by himself somewhere. It's best not to look for him. He'll come back around sooner rather than later.

Most at ease is a little harder to spot because Mir just tends to tone down a lot. A lot of movement I talked about in Question One is because he does liked to be noticed and likes expressing himself and tends to get carried away with it. But! When he's having really good day and is around people he likes, that stops being as much as of thing. Mir can chill a little and be more him? It's quite nice. Being so full-force with everything always is honestly exhausting. Being able to trust and tone down a little with people is great (though he probably gets ask 'what's wrong' constantly because quiet and Mir don't seem like they'd be friends but they are, on good days~).

9. How do they manifest energy, exhaustion, tension, or other strong emotions?

Any emotion or energy of Mir's manifest strongly, tbh. If he's happy, he's ecstatic. If he's sad, it's misery. And so on and so on! Like I said, he's very lively and energetic in his everyday life, and that liveliness continues through every venue it can find. Exhaustion feels like having a mountain dropped on you (which happened twice now, so he knows that's accurate!). Tension feels like a live-wire, an elastic band stretched far past its limits that's just waiting to give out and hurt anyone in its way. He basically ignores lighter feelings and sticks with the stronger end of them instead, for better and for the worse. 

Mostly for the worse because Mir kinda hates how emotional he is at times? It's really exhausting! And sometimes really embarrassing! He just wishes he could have better control over them because they do very much rule his life and it tends to make things more difficult. 

The only kinda exception is his feelings towards love? Exception as in Mir has trouble expressing that emotion verbally. Even with friends, he'll jump over any and all loops to avoid the word 'love' because it sits on his tongue all wrong. He just likes expressing it more subtly, with small gestures and acts. Like, it's the one of the few times he's subtle ("subtle", he says as he takes down a dragon and makes a necklace out of one of its teeth. Because that's subtle, for sure).

14. What do they care deeply about? What kind of loyalties, commitments, moral codes, life philosophies, passions, callings, or spirituality and faith do they have? How do these tend to be expressed?

Respect is really big to Mir in a way he hasn't really realized yet. He doesn't like people who don't respect his boundaries or just other people in general. Being the Herald of Andraste only bothers him in the idea that Andraste thought he was worth saving (like did she miss and grab him instead of the Divine?). He's not okay with being the Herald of the Chantry because the Chantry is rotten and isn't big on respect. It demands it for itself and refuses to extend to anyone else. It's a weird thing. He just doesn't think about it much. :/

Honesty is the other big thing he cares about. After living with his gaslighting-should-be-my-middle-name brother, Mir just likes people who are open and honest? It's so nice ? Even when they're being kinda dicks about it? it's just nice, knowing where people stand. SURE.

As for loyalties, ah? He's pretty okay with people being out for themselves? He expects it (and is shocked when people are like 'i'm loyal to you' because 'lol slow down folks that is such a bad idea'). So long as you don't dick him over for personal/emotional gain, Mir's content with whatever. Vivienne 'being a snake' doesn't bother him at all, because hey. She's honest about it and someone should fight for mages, yeah? Bull's initial ties to the Qun doesn't bother him much because their goals are the same (protect innocents and kill demons). Mir ends the initial alliance with them too because he won't led people to slaughter if he can help it either. He can't. They're his people and he needs to protect them.

His own moral code is strict in a very loose way that he can't verbally express way well. Thanks, Mir, thanks. But! It falls in line with Sera's, and Cole's to a less strict sense. Help the hurting, and punch up whenever you can. He's pretty okay with those perimeters. Also, killing people is not good! He doesn't like killing people! It seriously is fucked up and he'll avoid that at every cost. Why does he have to kill so so many people? :(

Training to be a Tempest Rogue is the closest thing he's gotten to an calling or a religious awakening. He loves being one so so damn much, on every level. Kihm constantly tells him he doesn't need to mix his own flasks and Mir happily ignores him and everyone else because he's a little alchemist/chemist at heart and mixing connotations is a joy to him. Also, that should say how he falls about callings in general? He's not really special enough for callings or whatever, iho (and yeah, he knows saying that as the Herald is weird but becoming the Herald was an accident so yeah, still holds merit.)

Spirituality and faith aren't things he has in vast supply. He appreciates people who have faith and the like (and will personally kick anyone who shits over the Dalish for their beliefs, like wtf you have no right) but he is not one of them. The unknown is a bit terrifying to him, so he'd rather live now and do what he thinks it is right and then live by someone else's code and end up being wrong in the end? That's heart-breaking, and scary. Just, he'll be him and fuck up as him. He can own that at least.

This was an amazingly rambly answer, sorry! TLDR: At the end of the day, Mir honestly cares about these things: respect, honestly and letting people be who they want to be (within reason). Most of his codes, philosophies and etc in that direction fall within that because Mir is kinda simple like that, all things considered. Live and let be. If not, he'll kick someone in the teeth and/or frown a lot in your direction. Probably the and/or one. 

15. answered already here. <3

And the rest I will continue to tackle tomorrow or Friday! <33333