#this is open to debate for anyone it's one half sincere question and one half ethics think piece
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stellardeer · 1 year ago
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TL;DR - How would you kick someone out of your house without involving police? and Should you?
My no-note blog is probably not the best place to ask this question, but maybe someone will come along and answer, who knows.
So in the ideal circumstance that we abolish the police, I've been wondering about a specific scenario. Say there is a person in your home, for whatever reason, who has no legal right to be there, and you do not want them there (again, for whatever reason) but they refuse to leave and you want to forcibly remove them from your home.
Most people nowadays would threaten to call the cops on them, and usually that alone is enough to get people to leave. I've never actually had this problem myself, but I've known numerous people who've talked about these kinds of situations (and coincidentally they were all middle class, if that tells you anything...) I, personally, would think twice (or a million times) about calling the cops on someone, especially if the person in question is particularly vulnerable to police brutality. So, even if the police aren't abolished, I still want to know the proper alternative to handle this kind of situation.
I'm a pretty weak, easily overpowered person, so my first instinct would be to like.. call someone I know or go get a strong neighbor or something to help me get this person off of my property.
I know that the specifics of the situation also play a key role here, too, on how to handle it. Like, if the person is reasonable, I would hope that just telling them to leave would get them to go - easy enough. But if they refuse to move.. what do I even do? If it's someone that I know very well, I might think to take a break and just walk away from them and hope we can sort things out once we've calmed down. If it's someone that I don't know very well, though, (not even necessarily an intruder, but just say someone who is overstaying their welcome) and especially if tensions are not even high, I wouldn't really know what to do. Some states even have squatters rights, so like.. sometimes you literally CAN'T do anything about this person being in your home, and in some cases they can even get you kicked out. I think it's kind of obvious that if the person clearly has violent intentions towards me, then I have a right to defend myself, but again, I am not going to be able to do that by myself, and I don't know what the legalities are around asking for help from another citizen, i.e. not a cop, if someone means to do you harm?
And what if you do ask for help and your helper ends up injuring the person in the process of trying to get them out?? I'd imagine it's still better than calling a cop, and risking getting a life-ruining criminal record, or worse, shot and killed. But I'd also imagine there could be grounds for them to sue if they get injured by the helper since the helper is not a professional of any kind and not protected in anyway. Only some states have protections against self defense anyway, and I don't know if it even counts if you invited the person into your home willingly and they weren't being violent to begin with. Like.. if they person is just stubbornly standing there and then your burly neighbor puts hands on them first, I don't think that even counts as self defense for the homeowner? At that point if the person fights back then they have a case for self-defense.
And I don't know what the leftist attitude is towards personal property like that anyway, like should we even have a right to our own home? I don't know the leftist view on that, I get the idea that individualism is not the move, but like.. do we still have our own personal space? Space that we are allowed to bar others from entering? Even if that space extends to the entirety of a 2-bedroom home? I'm asking sincerely, because I really haven't read enough socialist theory, so I don't know what the opinions are on home ownership in general. Like in an ideal society, would we supposedly just allow the person to stay for as long as they like, as long as they aren't hurting anything? That's another part of it, like what if they aren't doing any harm but I still don't want them there? Am I wrong for wanting them to leave, even if I don't know them? Supposing even if they are an intruder, if they haven't stolen anything or hurt me or my animals, but they just... won't leave, should I even be mad about that?
But again, forget an ideal society, let's take it back to reality, assuming that I live in the US and the laws are exactly the same as they are in this moment, police are not abolished, but I am choosing to not involve the police in this matter... what is the right thing to do???? Should I just resolve myself to accept that this person lives with me now?? I don't even live in a state with squatters rights, so I don't legally have to, but.. should I? (more thoughts and anecdotes if the tags if you feel like reading)
#leftism#socialism#communism#abolish police#this is open to debate for anyone it's one half sincere question and one half ethics think piece#like.. there may not be any one 'right' 'good' answer for every situation i just want to hear opinions from people who know more than me#please try to be civil and i know this might sound like a stupid question but I'm asking it in good faith#I feel like a LOT of people (at least US citizens) will just tell me 'well duh you have a right to not want someone in your space'#but like idk i've been thinking over this for a few days now and questioning if I even do have that right??#like obviously i have a right to boundaries but do i have a right to a 784sq ft home?#if i have extra space im not occupying all of the time is it wrong for me to keep someone out of it?#i'm someone who prefers to live alone and i've just recently got my house to myself after having a guest for over a year#he is a friend of mine and it made me miserable having him here sometimes (despite him doing nothing wrong)#but our other friends kept telling me to kick him out and i just couldnt believe they would even suggest that??#like.. just because i want to live by myself doesn't mean it's better to put him out on the street??#i still cant believe they saw no issue with that#and not once while he was here did i ever consider making him leave so this question isn't about him or anything#this anecdote is just an example of like.. differences in opinion on personal space#i have a 2-bd trailer and i've been waiting to turn my second bedroom into an office#but i let him live in the extra room while he was here because i was able to get by just fine without it#but i think i might feel different if someone i didnt know just showed up in my home one day and wanted to live here#or what if my friend (not that he would EVER) did become violent and i DID need to force him to leave? like .. what do??#this question mostly came up because someone i met recently was telling a story about a terrible roommate he had#but his (the person telling the story) parents owned the property or something and this guy's lease was up but he wasn't leaving#so they threw all his stuff out because he had been gone for a couple weeks and they assumed he wasnt coming back#but then he showed up one day looking for his things and was trying to take stuff from the kitchen#and the guy (telling the story) told him that he couldn't take anything and he needed to leave and said he would call the cops if he didn't#and i kept my mouth shut (especially cause the roommate sounded particularly foul) but i would not dream of calling the cops over that#but it was like... just because they owned the property and he didn't want him there calling the cops was a perfectly reasonable response#it sickens me
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jules-makes-stuff · 7 months ago
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Ok so I finally saw muppet's Treasure Island and Christmas Carol recently and I have a half an hour before work ends for real, so here are my thoughts on who I would cast in:
Muppet's Curse of Strahd
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Strahd should be played by a human, this one point I refuse to budge on. A shakespearen theatre actor, who will play it with the complete serious sincerity the role requires. His bats are a chorus of muppets, of course, as is his horse. I'm debating on what the brides should be, but I'm leaning towards being either custom muppets or humans as well. In Ravenloft that leaves us with...
Rahadin
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I feel like Sam the Eagle could do the required amount of silent judging and brooding. In Treasure Island he has proven he can play an excellent second in command as well. Now this does leave me with a question. Are ALL dusk elves eagles? Should he be wearing elf ears? I'm open to suggestions for Kazimir, as he has continued to elude me. But I do know who Patrina should be.
Patrina
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No comments required.
Going a bit further to Vallaki...
Izek Strazni
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They evoke the same fear in me.
Vargas Vallakovich
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Fozzie has shown to be very capable of the jolly leader role, I feel like giving that a sinister edge would be such a great growing opportunity for him. Now Lydia and Victor again give me pause. Should they be humans? Should they also be bears?
Fiona Wachter
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Oh now SHE has to be human, again, very serious and sinister performance.
Rudolph van Richten
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HEAR ME OUT! Why have ONE grumpy old guy, when you could have two? Just imagine the running commentary. That bring us to,
Ezmerelda D'avenir
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Again, I feel very confident is casting her as a human. You might say, oh? Shouldn't she be Miss Piggy? But no, I have other plans for her. There is someone very important we have not cast yet.
Tatyana/Ireena
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Given the tender heartache she brought to her role in Christmas Charol, I am confident Miss Piggy could play the gentle, loving girl being hunted by the evil lord, and we all know how well she can carry a romane! Once Ireena starts to fight back, her technical skill in hand to hand combat could also shine. Now I mentioned romance, which mean we need a love interest.
Sergei von Zarovich
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Kermit's sweet and honest nature would fit Sergei very well. I hear your questions and I have answers.
-But that's too small of a role! The Sun Sword and flashbacks my friend. If 50% of campaigns can do that, so can a movie. We don't worry about canon here. Also maybe Miss Piggy deserves a turn as the star!
-But Strahd isn't a frog? Yes, that's his problem. Also don't divide siblings like that, it's what's inside that counts!
-Would he sing? Brother, they ALL sing. Including Strahd.
Ismark
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Again, I feel like this role should go to a human, but I'm not a 100%. I could very easily be convinced otherwise. Of equal importance as the ones before:
Blinsky and Piccolo
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Again, no comments required.
I actually don't have any strong feelings on Krezk. If anyone has ideas please add them. What I do have strong feelings about is the structure of the movie. I'm sure you have noticed to absences. I feel like the movie should have a narration similar to Christmas Carol. Now who could do that? A dungeon master? Nah, that's too obvious a choice, for one. The narrator should be...
Madam Eva
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If Gonzo could play Charles Dickens they can play Madam Eva, they have the range. Rizzo is an unwilling part of the adventuring party, though he tries to be part of the narration.
As for the party, and this is the second reason I did not just want a regular dm: there is no group of adventurers! Ireena, Ismark, Ezme and Rizzo take on the fight against the count, often guided by Sergei/the Sun Sword. It's time for the NPCs to get a turn!
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byizoyas · 2 years ago
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© byizoyas
SFW | academic rivals trope. | ayato x gn!reader | you never knew you craved to be this close to ayato, until you got forced into sharing a dance with him. or perhaps you’ve been in denial the whole time.
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‘come on y/n… it could be fun.’
you sighed. the exasperation you were desperately fighting to hide could easily be read by anyone that would pass by you right now. so of course; your friend did not miss it.
‘i won’t force you to go but you’re going to miss something i swear.’
i won’t force you she said, but the way her eyes were looking at her own feet, with an imprint of sadness, was definitely not helping you denying her request. she probably knew what she was doing, but you couldn’t blame her for it, after all she never did anything wrong to you.
nothing wrong except taking you to parties you weren’t particularly fond of; and she wasn’t either, but she always felt the need to go there and since you’ve never been far from each other for long, you always followed her everywhere.
‘i don’t know ayaka, i hate dancing, and i’m awfully bad at it too.’ you tried to justify yourself, nervously laughing as if it would be less painful to hear.
she looked up, facing you and taking your hands in hers, a large smile slowly forming on her glossy lips as she suggested she’d teach you. ‘i can help with that.’
seeing her all enthusiastic, and cheerful made it even harder to refuse it now, which is why you ended up nodding yes. she threw herself into your arms, looking genuinely happy to the idea of sharing that prom ball with you; happier than you that’s for sure, but it wasn’t too bad seeing her this childish once in a while.
you could almost get used to it.
you were half listening to her plans for the night coming when the ring announcing the next classes echoed in the corridors of high school.
‘i’ve got math, i hope the lessons you helped me with are questioned today ! see you later y/n’
you waved goodbye at her before going back to your own classes. you sat on your usual place, next to the other kamisato sibling, the one your age, and also the one you despised.
‘good morning y/n, what interesting conversation did you share with my beloved sister earlier ?’ he asked, his eyes intensely staring at you.
his chin was lazily resting on the palm of his left hand while the other was playing with a pencil against the paper, making an annoying sound to your delicate ears.
‘that is none of your business.’
to that he only chuckled before looking back at the teacher who just showed up in front of you. y’all got up to greet her and her call voice gently allowed the whole class to sit back down.
‘is friendship the ideal form of relationship with others ?’
such question was always interesting to think of. it did speak to you, more than historical subjects, perhaps that was the one reason you were always listening more to your philosophy lessons.
‘does anyone have anything to say about our subject ?’ she asked, opening a debate between students.
the first ones to speak weren’t so invested, they have a few ideas and couldn’t find the way to describe them. only after a few minutes of silence that seemed like an eternity, did the blue haired guy you avoided finally spoke up.
‘loyalty is an important factor in a relationship. it gives respect and trust, which are two pillars of any relationship. however, friends are selfish. they do like you when they find something interesting about your person. if not, they simply won’t care about you and be moving on. i personally think no friendship will be as sincere as a familial bond, or a rivals relationship.’
‘what the fuck is the rivals thing doing here ?’ you exclaimed right after he gave his idea about today’s question.
‘y/n please, i appreciate that you’re invested in the debate, but watch your language will you.’ the teacher advised.
you indeed forgot you were assisting a lesson, with a whole class behind you and a teacher listening, it could’ve made you feel embarrassed, but you were too busy mentally hitting ayato for his arrogant attitude to feel that way, and so you only shrugged as a response.
‘rivals are more intimate than friends. but they are nothing more than rivals.’
‘this is where you, y/n, are wrong. rivals share so much more. they’re honest. they do not hide their own bad traits. they are competing, and what in the world is more beautiful than an equal, passionate combat between two hard workers ?’ he asked. but rather than a personal intervention, it seemed like the question was asked to you directly.
you raised your eyes, to look at him, and you both shared a tensed visual exchange. both your gazes were saying multiple things, yet none of you spoke up for the whole lesson. instead you simply looked at him, the same way he looked at you, wearing a provoking smile and crossing his arms as if it gave more impact to his attitude.
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‘and then he looked at me the whole hour ?’ you concluded after telling ayaka everything that happened during the philosophy classes.
it always felt weird to talk about ayato with her. after all they shared the same blood, and here you were; complaining about him. but ayaka did assure you multiple times it was okay and well, you didn’t really have another person to tell this to.
‘yeah ayato likes to observe people. he says it’s to ‘understand what they’re made of’ she said almost making fun of her older brother.
she joined you on the living room, with two pieces of cake, sitting right next to you and turning on the television, even though you both knew you wouldn’t watch it.
‘this is for you. it’s from ayato’s birthday.’
‘oh, when was it ?’
ayaka frowned a bit, taking her phone from the table resting right next to her. ‘why do you even care ? don’t you hate him ?’ she added before taking a sip of her cold drink.
her question echoed in your mind. indeed, why did you care about such thing if you truly didn’t like him ?
also you started asking himself where he was, and just when your mind kept on thinking of him, his name appeared on ayaka’s phone.
‘hi ?’
‘is y/n home ?’
‘yes. why ?’
okay. just wanted to know, have fun, i will come back home in a few hours
‘’kay see you.’
and just like that she hung up. she put her phone down, looking back at you, who were sitting confused after hearing only her part of the conversation. but you did not ask anything. after all it might not be about you and you had to respect that.
the two of you kept on chilling, telling each other about your days, sometimes picking your phones and doing your own stuff in silence, only television to interrupt the dead silence in the room.
it could’ve felt awkward if it was with another person, but it was not with ayaka. you liked to be together even if it was only to use your phone.
‘shall we start training for the ball ?’ ayaka suddenly said, getting up to put on some music.
she handed out her hands to help you getting up from the comfortable couch you’ve been spending a few hours since you both left school.
after that, all you did was moving, following ayaka’s instructions wasn’t so easy. not that she was a bad teacher, she was great actually but you had difficulty keeping up with her rhythm.
she was clearly better than you at this. of course you knew she was going to be, she practiced dancing ever since she started walking. but it was still hard to see her feeling all good while you needed to drink water and take fresh air regularly.
only when she drained the energy out of you, did she choose to put on some slower music. she invited you to dance with her, and now that you were dancing in her arms, it felt way easier. you followed her steps attentively, careful not to step on her feet. just when you finally developed enough confidence to take the lead, did you hear a familiar voice calling out from behind.
‘hello y/n.’
you jumped and looked behind only to find ayato there, obviously enjoying himself over your flustered reaction.
‘that was a pretty nice view, do not care to stop for me.’ he calmly stated, his usual arrogant smile on his lips.
he was leaning against the living room door, legs crossed and hands buried in the pockets on his light beige pants. he was still wearing the school uniform and obviously just got home, only to find you and his sister dancing in the middle of the house.
‘we did not stop for you.’ ayaka spoke up for you. while the two siblings were arguing, you were standing there, smiling and laughing to the attacks both sides were throwing at each other.
they definitely had a true connection, since they fought like that often and ended up forgetting everything about it. they genuinely cared about each other.
and in a way, you cared about them too.
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a long week had passed, and here you were, standing in the middle of the crowd, awkwardly unmoving. you were still not fond of dancing, even after learning with ayaka.
you did come together to that party, but she left with her flirt and left you all alone in this. of course you couldn’t blame them after you insisted for her to go. you truly didn’t want her to ruin her potential relationship with someone only for you; but now you were alone.
of course it was not long before someone you feared to meet here came to you.
‘are you feeling lonely ?’
you turned around only to be blessed by the sight of ayato. it wasn’t your classmate anymore nor your friend’s older brother. he was so elegant you could hardly detach your eyes from his silhouette.
‘earth to y/n.’ he said, waving his free hand a few times in front of your eyes, making you blink a few times before refocusing your attention on him.
‘hey.’
‘not being very much talkative mh ?’ he said, handing out a drink to you, which you took after hesitating.
of course you knew he wasn’t evil, only a bit arrogant at times but the two of you never shared a conversation outside the classroom.
you did talk to him a few times, but ayaka was there everytime. now you were finally alone. not that you waited for it, you pretty much fearing it, but now that he was there, perhaps you could make an effort.
‘happy belated birthday.’ was the first thing you found to say, which made him laugh. a soft laugh, almost as pretty as him.
‘it’s tomorrow, but thank you.’
‘but ayaka gave me your birthday cake’s piece.’
ayato looked in front of him, at the several people dancing, then in the direction of people screaming and as the music was getting louder, he leaned over you to make sure you heard him correctly. ‘we celebrated early because my parents are leaving inazuma soon.’
‘oh i see. what will you do on your birthday then ?’
ayato got lost in thoughts for a minute, then decided to tease you a bit. ‘i’ll study to be better than you.’ you were used to it, but in a sense it would always surprise you how bold he could be sometimes.
but what surprised you the most was your own audacity when you told him he’d spend his own day thinking of you instead of focusing on himself, which seemed to make him laugh.
‘perhaps you could study with me then.’ he suggested and just after you nodded yes, someone approached the two of you, taking your hands and leading you in the middle of the dance floor where no one was anymore.
‘congrats the two of you were the only ones standing, now you’re gonna steal the show.’ he shouted in the mic and the rest of the room followed, supporting the two of you.
you had been so busy listening and staring at ayato that you didn’t even hear the guy talking before when he said those who didn’t sit would have to dance for the others.
now you were stuck with him. after training with ayaka you did memorize a few moves, but your mind could only think of how good looking ayato was under the light and how good he smelt now that his body was so close to yours.
could it be that you felt something more ?
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‘you’re absolutely splendid tonight. i had no idea you mastered these dancing moves too.’ ayato suddenly said, as he gently caressed the palm of your hand, pulling you closer to him in rhythm.
it did catch you off guard, and you couldn’t find anything to say, especially when his purple eyes that wore a mocking gaze most of the time were now looking at you as if you were the most precious thing in the world.
‘t-thank you.’ you only found to say, secretly wishing he didn’t catch your stuttering. but when his smile grew larger and his eyes looked back at yours, you knew.
you knew he heard it. he might never let you go with it. ‘where has your eloquent self been ? are they on a vacation ?’
he couldn’t help it. not teasing you was definitely not his thing, he preferred to make your life much worse. you looked away, in embarrassment. ‘shut up.’
he approached his lips to your ear, and the proximity between the two of you made your body shiver multiple times. you felt a thousand things that made your heart skip a beat or two. ‘i like it when you’re being vulgar, y/n’
the way he insisted on your name. his whispers and caresses. the music surrounding you, you could hardly focus on, too busy thinking of his breath on your skin and words.
you knew you got lost. he had you wrapped around his fingers, and he absolutely adored it. he slipped his second hand towards your waist and you abandoned yours on his shoulder, seizing your other hand and wrapping up your arms around his neck.
‘no friendship is as sincere as a rivals relationship’
you quoted him, just when you thought something was growing between the two of you. perhaps you were trying to reassure yourself too. perhaps you feared it to be one sided. could you even handle to feel romantic feelings for someone you thought you hated until now.
‘so you see us as rivals ?’ he asked. the tender in his voice was unusual and it did confused you a few times.
‘i don’t know.’
you genuinely didn’t know. a rival is what you always saw in ayato, but tonight something changed, or perhaps it was always there, and waiting for you to wake up and realize it.
ayato took a slight distance from you. his fingers traced your jawline until it reached your chin, locking it into two of his gloved fingers. both of you gulped at the same time. for a minute it seemed like everything surrounding you faded away, allowing a minute of peace.
a minute of love.
ayato’s face approached yours dangerously, and it seemed to be never ending. you closed your eyes, depriving yourself from one of your senses only to intensify another.
after only a second of waiting, his lips crashed onto yours. the kiss was long but felt so good too. it was soft. it was your first kiss too, and who would’ve thought kamisato ayato would be the one delivering it.
his right hand left your chin to slide through your hair. his touch was gentle, such as his kiss. and his other hand was softly caressing your naked shoulder, pulling you closer as if never wanting to let go of you.
you couldn’t hear well because of the loud music and the obvious shocked reactions of the crowd who was now looking at the two of you, kissing and dancing to a famous joji song; but you swore you heard him whisper a love confession.
‘to me, you’ve always been more than a rival. but never once did i consider you a friend. romantic feels have no place in friendships.’
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author notes; i believe this is my first fic genshin ever (written i mean) idk if im comfortable w it bc I’ve been lazy to reread it fkwkdkk and perhaps there’s plenty of typo or grammar mistakes OR perhaps it’s shitty as hell or doesn’t make sense but i like it, i love soft ayato too he makes my heart melt
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1kook · 4 years ago
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crunchyroll & rail
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the 10th installment of my netflix & chill series !
SUMMARY Never mind the fact you really like Sailor Moon, or that you really want to pay attention to every little detail; the moment becomes Jungkook and his big smile and his red cheeks and the tiny box he produces from within his pocket. WARNINGS smut in the forms of making out, jk nipple play, some 69 action, cunnilingus, blowjobs, brief choking, jk trying his best to listen to oc but he doesn’t rlly :/, fingering, missionary bc his eyes are pretty, unprotected fuckin raw, its romantic but when is it not… MISC fluffy and domestic <3, weekend getaway <3, the Big Question, shy jk, sailor moon supremacy, jk makes this big elaborate speech about the sun and moon, mentions of 240p YouTube quality, RATING m (18+) WC 8.7k
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NOTE (!) the smut in this chapter is relatively short ! I was more concerned with writing this monumental step in their relationship, so sorry to all the lads who come here specifically for the p0rn but today we focus on the l0ve <333 anyway nc 10!!!!! Can u fuckin believe….
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Jungkook mentions it at the dinner table one night. You’re not eating— well, you are not eating; Jungkook has been stocking up on his protein intake like a madman —but finishing up some work you had brought home. Your back aches, your eyes burn. The mere sound of his soft voice has all those feel-good endorphins shooting through your nervous system like a shot of adrenaline. “We should take a trip,” he says, fork clattering against his plate to signify the end of his feast. 
Your fingers tap across your keyboard, eyes flickering between an Excel sheet and the report you’re typing out. It takes you a moment to respond, a delayed, “huh,” that even Jungkook doesn’t find convincing.  
In the background, you’re listening to what has to be one of the worst voiceovers of the original Sailor Moon series in a language you don’t even understand. But you know the series like the back of your hand, know what exactly is happening even if you don’t understand what they’re saying, because you’ve watched it only about a million times. It’s mostly just there for background purposes anyway, some white noise to try and replicate the noisy soundtrack of your office. 
To make matters worse—complicated?—, you had been too lazy to get onto your usual pirating sites and had settled for the five minute, five part, 240p clips of Sailor Moon on YouTube (you know the ones), and Jungkook has to wait until Episode 74: Part ⅖ ends before you grace him with a proper response. “Where do you wanna go, baby?” you ask, giving your eyes a break from the data as you move to scour YouTube for Episode 74: Part 3/5. 
He’s stretching back now, arms wound up above his head. His hair— god, his hair —is an ashy color now, a faded version of its golden ancestor from a few months ago. Soon, he’s planning on going back to brown, claims he’s getting too old to be dying his hair, whatever that means. For now, you watch his inked fingers run through his scalp; he looks delectable. Maybe you’re hungrier than you initially thought. Or at least thirstier. “A cabin,” he suggests, and he offers this little half shrug that would otherwise seem normal had you not been well-versed in the art of Jungkook Body Language. His front teeth nibble at his lip, eyes laser focused on his empty plate. Even now, he still gets nervous asking you out. That thought alone makes your ego soar as high as an airplane. “Just something small.”
Usually, “something small” with Jungkook ends up being something big and, in most cases, something expensive. Which you’re totally not opposed to— you’re at the point in your relationship where you don’t even bother trying to dissuade Jungkook from showering you with gifts. It’s one of his many, many, many, many forms of loving you and, well, he knows you like the back of his hand. He rarely misses. 
Lo and behold, it is a grander affair than a simple cabin. “Well, it’s more like a resort,” he confesses, reaching across the table for your hand. Immediately, his thumb finds itself rubbing over the simple band of your promise ring. “Just wanna do something nice for you. I know you’ve been tired lately,” he adds on, voice a quiet murmur that nearly gets lost under the intensity of the pout that appears whenever he becomes even the slightest bit bashful. 
You smile, the fondness in your heart skyrocketing to impossible heights when he lifts your hand to press those pretty petal lips against your knuckles. “Well, just let me know when,” you tell Jungkook. “So I can request time off from work.” 
Episode 74: Part 3/5 starts playing after an ad, and you’d pause it for the sake of preserving this moment with Jungkook, but it’s hidden under so many tabs on your laptop that you lose it the second you leave the tab. Jungkook’s head tilts to the side, sending his ashy locks cascading beautifully. “You know that show is on Crunchyroll,” Jungkook says, seemingly moving past his bout of shyness now. “And you have the password.” 
“Do I,” you murmur, but he’s lost you once more, your true talent of typing with one hand showing itself as you return to your Excel sheet, the other still firmly squeezed in his grasp. Jungkook releases soon enough anyway, cleans up the table quickly, and disappears off into the kitchen. He sings when he washes the dishes, likes to pretend he’s a terrible singer even though you’ve told him countless times he could easily take X Factor by storm. (And you know exactly what it takes to wow those judges— you spent the entire last month psychotically watching multiple X Factor seasons from multiple different countries, nearly considered joining the damn audition yourself.) The horribly dubbed Sailor Moon is yelling now, shrieking really, and Jungkook calls from the kitchen, “don’t forget to take your contacts out, sweetheart.” 
It’s domestic and it's nerve-wracking. 
You want Jungkook, that much is a fact. Aristotle and Socrates and that other guy could debate the philosophical intricacies of the world, turn this dimension in on itself until it was a scrambled mess of emotion and thought, but the one thing they could never change, could never even question, is your love for your boyfriend. You want Jungkook badly, but more importantly, you want Jungkook forever. 
And you’re sure Jungkook probably, maybe, hopefully feels that way too. But the way you feel is… slightly concerning to say the least. For starters, you’re convinced your love for Jungkook was meant to be, and that’s saying a lot coming from you. You’re not one for cheesy, soulmate tales— that was more Jungkook’s thing —but the more you think about it, the more you become convinced that you and Jungkook were destined to meet. Like the planets aligned one year, the stars conferred, a tectonic plate somewhere in California shifted; whatever it may have been, something happened somewhere that led to the birth of this beautiful romance of yours. 
Lately, being with Jungkook has this inexplicably fiery feeling blossoming in your chest, these waves of emotion that sometimes have you fantasizing about the weirdest of scenarios with him. Like yelling at him for not taking the garbage out on time, or bumping into each other as you make dinner in the kitchen, or buying a new rug together. 
(Most drastically, the other day, you had a dream where you were pregnant and Jungkook was there and there was a house and a dog and an annoyingly friendly neighbor and this god-awful tile in the bathroom.) 
Long story short, you’ve been fantasizing about a forever with Jungkook. The concerning part is the timing; was this too early? You’re nearly halfway through your second year with Jungkook now, and you know most people date for many, many years before the mere thought of union even occurs to them. In another life, maybe you were the same, would have held off until the very last moment. But with Jungkook things just feel right (at least for you), like there wasn’t going to be anyone else after him. And you sincerely hoped there wouldn’t be. 
You slump back into your seat, eyes fluttering shut. Too many thoughts swirl around your mind, and the screech of the Sailor Moon voiceover on screen certainly doesn’t help. How you managed to spiral that far down your thoughts in the span of one 240p, five minute clip of a larger episode amazes even you. To add onto your worries, the clip abruptly ends and Episode 74: Part ⅘ is nowhere in sight, a fact that draws a frustrated moan out of the already sensitive you. 
Luckily, Jungkook eventually returns, standing closely behind you. His presence is enormous, the room suddenly overflowing with a shit ton of those feel-good endorphins all over again, except this time they reach an all-time high when he leans over and quietly shuts your laptop. “Come sleep,” he says softly, and it’s a pleasant mixture of his genuinely caring voice and that horndog purr of his that lures you into bed. And it’s that same voice that croons softly into your ear, fingers nestled between your folds until you’re orgasming yourself into a deep slumber. 
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Much to no one’s surprise, the cabin turns out to be quite the luxurious lodging; two floors of dark oak everywhere you turn, a stunning stone fireplace in the bedroom, and a truly breathtaking view of the resort’s snowy hill (read: front row seats to watch all the snowboarders and skiers wipe out in the snow). Jungkook had splurged quite the pretty penny on it, so you make a point to clap it up for him when he first opens the door to your temporary home for the weekend. 
The main bedroom is beyond words. It’s got an attached balcony (that you doubt you’ll be using in this chilly weather), and a wooden canopy bed that makes you feel like a royal (that you will certainly be using). It’s separated into two areas, the bed space and a tiny entertainment area on the other side of the room. Perhaps the best thing about the room— and the cabin itself —is the huge, smart TV mounted above said stone fireplace and the fact it allows the phone mirroring option in lieu of not having any streaming sites. And as is with every and anything to do with televisions, Jungkook is the most excited of the two of you. “Baby, look,” he beams, pointing excitedly at whatever he’s got mirrored onto the television this time. Knowing him, it’s probably another documentary. 
You had the forethought to finish your work before the trip, spent two days in the office going absolutely ham on this month’s final reports until your department head promptly sent you home to finish the rest there. You had given yourself a fright upon entering the bathroom that night, the state of your under eyes so severe, you feared it was sufficient cause for a national emergency. Similarly, Jungkook had done the same with his work, cooped himself up in his study until he was free from the shackles of capitalism for the weekend. All this to say you’ve missed him these past few days. 
But even though you’re sorely malnourished in the affection department and craving a good kiss or two, you wouldn’t dare interrupt one of Jungkook’s little nerdy, tech-induced fanboy moments. They’re cute, in their own geeky way, providing some insight to a mellower side of your boyfriend who looks on with childlike wonder; Jungkook’s eyes always get so big when he talks about nerdy stuff. You get to work hanging up the silk shirt he packed for tomorrow night’s fancy dinner at the resort, listening to some British narrator’s detailed description of the functionally extinct Northern white rhinos living under 24-hour surveillance in Kenya.  
(Jungkook’s really into nature documentaries again, had spent a few nights sniffling as he watched that one Koko the gorilla film.) 
The original plan was to head to the nearest store and whip up something small to eat at the cabin. But Jungkook is a little tired from the long drive, slumps down into the couch in front of the now lit fireplace like a limbless blob as he tunes into his documentary. His nose is a little red from the outside chill. It’s so cute. He’s so cute. You love him so much, you fear you’ll accidentally squeeze his cheeks to death. It’s a thought that occurs more times than you’d like. 
According to the pamphlet on the nightstand, the resort has its own room-service to order from. Normally you would do that, but not this time; you had gotten into a bit of a squabble with the man at the front desk after he had tried to withhold Jungkook’s reservation for arriving two minutes past your check-in time, called each other all sorts of names before he backed down and gave you your room key. So you’re still a little salty, to say the least. Instead, you settle in for some pizza in front of the huge TV, calling up the nearest place to order some of Jungkook’s and your favorites. 
You plop down beside him, instinctively cuddling closer when he wraps an arm around your shoulders. “So,” you start, flipping through the rest of the resort’s introductory pamphlet. There’s a loud roar on screen. In all honesty, you didn’t even know what Northern white rhinos sounded like until then, and you probably never would have if not for the man beside you. “What are you in the mood for tonight, sweet boy?” 
You’re not sure if it’s the fatigue or the overall relaxed vibes he’d been exuding since the moment you entered the cabin, but Jungkook is weirdly cooperative today. “Whatever you want,” he responds, head on your shoulder. He even places the remote in your hands, gives your enclosed fist a gentle tap as if he’s just handed you the secret to eternal youth. In other words, it’s a rare sight to behold. “This is your trip, pretty girl.” 
You appreciate the sentiment, but feel the need to clear the air, tucking your feet up onto the couch as you snuggle closer. “Our trip,” you clarify, and snatch the remote anyway before he changes his mind. 
Jungkook releases a quiet huff of laughter, head rolling back against the couch cushions to display his thick, juicy neck that definitely doesn’t awaken any vampiric tendencies in you. “We can even watch some anime if you want,” he murmurs, casually throwing an arm around your shoulders in a way that would have made any teenage girl in the early 2000s squeal with excitement. It’s one of those barely there touches, but the way he holds you makes you feel so safe and warm and loved. So loved and in love. “The ones on Crunchyroll, though.”
For the sake of preserving these good vibes (and your ears [and Jungkook’s sanity]), you navigate to the Crunchyroll app on your phone, quickly finding your latest obsession and mirroring it onto the big television before Jungkook can react. “Sailor Moon?” he asks with a tone that implies a feigned interest, mostly out of respect for you; he’s, sadly, still not the big dorky anime fan you had hoped to convert him into. 
“In the name of the moon, I’ll punish you,” you recite dutifully, snatching up the throw blanket on the end of the couch. It’s barely big enough to cover the both of you, has Jungkook’s outstretched legs and your booty subject to the chilly air. Who cares, Jungkook is a furnace anyway. 
He snorts. “Punish me,” he mumbles, as if he doesn’t believe it. His snarky comment wins him a playful pinch against his doughy cheek, not that he particularly defends himself against it anyway, eyes fluttering shut as you tug at the pale skin. 
“Don’t fuck with the moon, Jungkook,” you warn him, snuggling closely against his side as your favorite opening song begins filtering through the speakers of the television before you. It’s infinitely better than the 240p YouTube clips you had subjected yourself to the entire last week, the graphics scarily clear. 
“Right, of course,” Jungkook says, but a hint of amusement seems to curl around the sound anyway. Nevertheless, he lets it go, cuddles into your side as you pour your full focus into watching yet another group of ragtag teenagers with supernatural abilities kick some ass. 
You can tell Jungkook isn’t really into it, and you’re torn between just snuggling him into a well deserved nap or taping his eyelids open so he can become a fan of this show with you. 
The loving, caring, adoring side of you says Jungkook deserves the entire world and more (the more in question preferably being a fluffy blanket and a nap). He worked hard this week, just like you, and on top of that he was the one who planned this entire weekend getaway for the two of you to enjoy. You want him to rest up.
The obnoxiously in love girlfriend-slash-best friend in you says Jungkook is sorely missing out on one of the greatest shows on planet Earth and that naps are for the weak. 
Your jumbled thoughts are interrupted by a loud sound on the television, a yelp from Ms. Sailor Moon herself that has you jolting up in surprise. Jungkook welcomes you deeper into his embrace, chuckles at your little fright. “Scared?” he teases in that low voice that makes you feel like you’re going crazy, really. So crazy and irrational, and the only thing that stops you from bombarding him with an unexpected outpouring of love is that hard and sharp thing that pokes your side when you get too close to him. It’s not Jungkook, sadly, but something in the front pocket of his hoodie instead. 
And for some reason, part of your brain is stuck all of a sudden, rewinding the last two and a half years like a broken cassette tape that had the tape reel hastily stuffed back inside by a toddler. It’s choppy to say the least, and it certainly doesn’t help when Jungkook calls your name softly, tenderly. “__,” he murmurs. It’s a little weird; it’s not often he says your name, mostly referring to you with one of the many pet names from that part of his vocabulary that focuses exclusively on terms of endearment. Your heart skips a beat. 
Now, if anyone were to ask, it’s approximately around this time that you begin to spiral. The pink curve of his bottom lip is just too close, the mole on his nose too prominent. Paired with the obnoxious tittering of Usagi on screen, you can feel your thoughts begin to overlap, bumping into each other within the realm of your brain until all that comes out are the messiest of messy thoughts. 
They go like this: 
Most episodes of any anime run for approximately thirty minutes. Take out the commercial breaks, the opening and ending credits, and it becomes something closer to twenty. Twenty minutes per episode, filled with plot and gags and tears and whatever else necessary to make you feel something, anything really. 
“What’s in your pocket?” you ask tentatively. 
In contrast, it takes approximately two seconds for Jungkook’s lips to quirk up— first the right side, always the right side —and his eyes to crinkle. Two seconds for him to smile, a sweet expression that reminds you of Netflix and college and quiet laughter and tattoos and silly YouTube videos and cookies and cell phones and job applications and blond hair; two seconds to make you feel everything all at once. 
“There’s nothing,” he says, but his cheeks are pink, and it’s not from the cold anymore. His smile is so big it makes your own cheeks ache just looking at it. You can’t even hear the television anymore. Never mind the fact you really like Sailor Moon, or that you really want to pay attention to every little detail; the moment becomes Jungkook and his big smile and his red cheeks and the tiny box he produces from within his pocket. “It was supposed to be for tomorrow,” he admits, unwrapping his arm from around you. 
It’s a little funny, somehow, because his hands are covered in ink, in tiny doodles and intricate pieces of swirls and words that ooze this aura of strength and toughness. But they tremble when he opens it, as unsteady as a wispy dandelion on a windy day, fumbling with the box. And when you look closely, he’s been biting at the skin along his thumb again, that nervous habit you’ve been trying forever to help him overcome. 
Someone is saying something on screen, something important to the plot. The volume is loud, but not as loud as your heart. Not as loud as Jungkook’s quiet murmur when he speaks again. “Will you marry me?” he asks softly, looks at you with flushed cheeks and big eyes and his heart on his sleeve. 
The answer has always been the same, hasn’t changed since the first time he planted the seed in your mind. Still, it catches in your throat, nearly loses out to a surprised and emotional sob that you barely manage to bite down. You had just been speaking, had just been ready to deliver a whole spiel on the importance of him watching Sailor Moon with you. But when you try now, it’s raspy and dry, as if you haven’t used your voice in years. “I— yes,” you exhale, surprised by the lonely tear that trails down your cheek. You go to wipe it away, but Jungkook beats you with a gentle hand cupping your cheek. 
His smile is wobbly, patches of red blossoming across his face that eventually consume his entire appearance as he leans his forehead against yours. Only then do you realize he’s crying, and you laugh out of reflex. “You’re crying,” you say, and Jungkook snorts. 
“You cried first,” he sniffles, smiling. “You made me cry.” 
He looks like a wreck, but, like, a hot wreck. An engaged, hot wreck who’s eyes flicker back to the TV to remind you to pause your anime, always so considerate. You do, hastily smashing buttons on the remote before remembering it’s controlled by your phone, hands flying back and forth as your nerves actively work to retire themselves after Jungkook’s proposal. “Easy there,” he soothes, eventually catching your hand in his, drawing it up for a kiss against your knuckles. 
The ring fits perfectly, snuggly. Vaguely, a memory drifts through your thoughts of Jungkook and Doyeon on a rampant mission to reorganize your jewelry box a few months ago, but it disappears as quickly as it came. You’re taken by the ring, a simple band with a pretty diamond on top. It’s a good mixture of you and him; flashy yet mild. 
“You love me,” you marvel, a revelation you’ve had the honor of experiencing time and time again with Jungkook. Still, it never fails to render you speechless. He hums. 
“I do,” he says, taking your hand in his. “It’s the easiest thing for me. Like breathing, or existing. I think I was made to love you.” And normally, you’d be the first one to correct him. Jungkook was made for so much more, a fact he’s proven time and time again with his abilities and the sheer size of his heart. He was your golden boy, could do anything he set his mind to. Always amazing you, always making you fall in love all over again. 
But now, with the weight of his words sitting heavy in the air, you find yourself incapable of negating the fact, instead sniffling at the meaning. 
Pleased with your silence, Jungkook places another chaste kiss against your ring. “I love you, __,” he confesses, voice nearly a whisper. Your entire body feels as if it is doused in gasoline, lit aflame over and over again. Your heart threatens your rib cage, pounds away with the strength of a world renowned boxer. Jungkook’s hands curl around your wrists carefully. “I used to think we were like the moon and the sun,” he admits, “that you were my sun and I was your moon. In love but always separated by those thin veils of the sunrise and the sunset.” He pauses, nuzzling sweetly against your palm once more before gently guiding them down between the two of you. “But that really sucks— saying goodbye to you every night? I hate that, __. I hate watching you leave, I hate watching you run off in the mornings or halfway through the day, having to drive back and forth from your place to mine. I hate having to be away from you when all I wanna do is hold you. I— I want to be by your side,” he rambles, eyes nervously meeting yours. They’re still glassy, dark lashes framing his chocolate irises wonderfully. “Forever.” 
Your heartbeat stutters, the simple word looping itself in your mind like that night in his dining room all over again, all the fantasies of having a forever with Jungkook bubbling to the surface. Jungkook pushes on. “You are my sun,” he says softly, mostly to himself. “But… I don’t wanna be the moon anymore. Being the moon means, eventually, I’ll have to say goodbye. In the night or in the morning, it always comes to an end. And I don't want there to be an end with you,” he insists, clutching your hand tightly. “I wanna be another star, the closest one to you. The one who gets to be with you forever. I wanna be by you and shine with you and—“
“Explode into a gazillion little fragments of cosmic dust with me,” you offer, and Jungkook nods along eagerly, too amped up on his speech to bother scolding you for your playful comment. 
“Yes, I want to— to—“ The words catch in his throat. So much emotion from the man you once thought was the dictionary definition of calm and collected. “To—“ 
“Marry me,” you fill in, and Jungkook practically blows a fuse from how emotionally fired up he’s become, exclaiming a resolute, “yes!” that leaves you stupidly grinning back at him. 
His outburst leaves him with flushed cheeks. “I do,” he reiterates in a softer tone, averting his gaze from you as if embarrassed by his cheesy outpouring of emotion. Usually, it’s the other way around; you make all the corny declarations of love and Jungkook laughs along suavely. It feels nice to have the tables turned. 
There’s so much to say, but the words all fade away when Jungkook shyly looks at you again. You settle on tackling him back onto the couch cushions, taking his surprised little yelp in stride as you suffocate him in your embrace. “Save those words for the big day, superstar,” you giggle, peppering his red face with tiny kisses that make him scrunch up cutely. “I can’t wait to blow up into one huge supernova with you.” 
Beneath you, Jungkook groans. “I’m sorry,” he huffs, voice muffled against your shoulder. Begrudgingly, his arms come up to envelope you, pulling you closer until the blanket scrunches up uncomfortably between you two. “That must’ve sounded so lame.” 
Leaning back so you’re not completely squishing him, you carefully push his silvery hair away from his forehead. “Don’t be,” you assure him, placing one chaste peck against his pouty lips. “I thought it was cute. I didn’t know you were into astrology.” 
A sigh. “Astronomy,” he corrects, “astrology has to do with zodiac signs and placements.” 
You run your thumbs over his cheeks, collecting any of the drying tears that paint his face. “Oh, like how you’re a Virgo and I’m a“— 
The TV remote you had lost somewhere along the way is suddenly rematerialized beneath your knee, sends the speakers blaring to life with a deafening screech that has both you and Jungkook leaping up like two frightened cats. “You always do this,” he laughs, that loud boyish sound that makes you feel like you’re sitting on a cloud. He watches you with a gentle smile as you hurriedly shut off the television, the remote haphazardly tossed somewhere behind you afterwards. You return to his embrace, wrap your arms around his waist and snuggle into his warmth. His heart thumps a steady rhythm beneath your ear. 
“You’re gonna be stuck with me forever,” you warn him, clutching at the fabric of his shirt like he’ll suddenly disintegrate before your eyes.
Above you, Jungkook hums, placing a kiss against the crown of your head. “I look forward to it,” he responds, pulling you impossibly closer, until you can feel the wrinkles in his shirt imprinting themselves against your cheek. He’s back to being that suave bastard again, and you find yourself wishing you had milked those big crocodile tears out of him for just a little bit longer. 
Fingers gently press against the muscles in your nape, push themselves in deeply until you can feel all the tension seeping out, turning you into a limbless blob over Jungkook. “Jeez,” you sigh, eyes fluttering shut. “And you wanted to wait until tomorrow.”
He huffs out a laugh. “I just thought you’d rather get engaged at a fancy restaurant with a pretty dress,” he defends, and you can hear the grin on his face. “For the photos.”
“Fair point,” you concede, eventually pushing yourself up so you’re not entirely squishing your boyfriend beneath you. Jungkook is already looking at you when you lift your head, has got this funny double-chin from this angle that makes his normally sharp jawline disappear. You find yourself tapping a finger against his chin, on the chocolate chip mole that hides itself beneath his plump bottom lip. “If anything, just propose to me again tomorrow at the restaurant.”
It wins you an eye-roll. “I’m not gonna propose to you again tomorrow,” he laughs, doesn’t even push you away when you become annoying and start tapping your fingers against all his beauty marks like you’re playing Whack-a-Mole. 
“Booo,” you frown, but let it go soon enough, foregoing your little game to press your lips against his. “Then I better make this a night to remember,” you murmur, tilting your head to the side.
Your hands dip into his luscious locks, fingernails tracing thin lines along his scalp that are certain to send tingles down his spine. As predicted, Jungkook releases a quiet groan soon after, a sound that’s muffled against your own lips. He’s pliant tonight, but not in a way that would elude fatigue. Pliant in a way that suggests he wants you to take the reins tonight, exhaling softly against you as he parts his lips. 
“Let me take care of you,” you hum, the hand that had been mindlessly hovering along his cheek drifting down to caress the side of his neck. Jungkook nods, his irises swimming in lust. You smile at his silent compliance, give his throat a light squeeze that makes his breathing hitch in surprise. 
He’s always at his prettiest when he’s beneath you like this, limbs moving in slow motion as you guide him along. You can already feel the beginnings of his arousal stirring beneath the front of his sweats, his cock slowly making its presence known against your thigh. You press your lips against his once more, making sure to make it rougher than the first kiss. Your tongue is met with little resistance, slips past his lips and dips into the hot cave of his mouth where Jungkook releases another trembling breath. 
Two hands come up behind you, trail themselves over your back and down to your ass, where he gives the two globes a tight squeeze. It draws a whimper out of you, one that Jungkook greedily swallows up. His tongue rubs up along yours, the wet muscle daringly pushing back against yours. His rebelliousness is only quelled with another press of your fingertips around his throat.
“Slow down,” you tell him. The first roll of your hips against him is slow, cruel in that you cut the motion short just as Jungkook begins to push back. A bratty huff escapes him, swollen pink lips pushing out into that endearing pout you love so much. It makes you grin, releasing the grip around his throat to carefully brush a stray strand of hair away from his eyes. 
It’s a gesture that works to soften Jungkook as well, the petulant look on his face melting away as you trail your pointer finger along his cheekbone. It’s replaced with a more tender one, dark lashes blinking up at you slowly. “Open,” you command upon reaching his mouth, finger pressing down against his pink lower lip. Jungkook obeys, opening his mouth until you can see his pink tongue and the dark abyss that leads down his throat. Your finger pushes itself in, and Jungkook certainly doesn’t try to resist. His lips suction around the digit fairly quickly, tight enough to keep you there but loose enough for you to slowly draw your finger in and out, each short plunge pressing down against his tongue. 
It’s a rather short affair, one that comes to an end when he accidentally bucks up against you, pressing his hardened member against your core. You retract your finger.  “Can you,” he tries, but his cheeks are stained red and he refuses to meet your gaze. “Just…” 
You intercept him with a chaste peck, maneuvering your legs until your knees are firmly pressed into the couch cushions beneath him, his thin waist trapped in between. When you sit up, you feel drunk on power and the way Jungkook looks up at you certainly doesn’t help. “Can I sit on your face?” 
He chokes. “I— sure, please,” he blurts out. His gaze follows you as you slip off of him, quickly discarding your pants and top on the floor. One pat against his thigh has him hurrying to shimmy out of his clothes, his sweatpants caught around his ankles. 
“You’re excited,” you laugh, stripping him of his bottoms when the frustration takes him over. 
Jungkook scoffs. “Well, yeah,” he mumbles, tugging his shirt off with one smooth motion. The ink around his bicep is as dark as ever, contrasts wonderfully against his warm face. “My fiancée is gonna sit on my face.”
The title makes you preen, quickly finding your place on his lap once more. With your clothing out of the way, Jungkook really does become a furnace. Every inch of his body is hot to the touch, soft too. “Fiancée,” you giggle, hands on his chest. They slide down, fingers playfully nudging his brown nipples. Jungkook flinches at the touch. “Gonna sit on my fiancé’s face,” you parrot back, delicately pinching one nipple between your fingers. A moan spills from his lips, his cock pushing against your thigh once more.
It’s the reminder you need, pushing back dutifully against him as you continue to toy with his chest. He’d look pretty with piercings, you find yourself thinking, watching on in fascination at the way his pert nipples stand at attention. Beneath you, Jungkook begins to grow desperate, his hands finding their place on your waist to encourage you to grind down against him once more. 
Jungkook swears up and down that he’s not particularly sensitive about having his nipples touched. But when you’ve got him like this, sinfully laid out before you, you can easily confirm that his claims are nothing but lies. He loves having his nipples touched, squirms beneath you impatiently with each playful tug and twist you bestow upon them. 
You duck down, pressing a kiss against his pectoral, just beside his nipple, and Jungkook’s entire body shivers. A few careful drags of your tongue against his warm skin only serve to string him along further, the prettiest whimper pulling itself from his lips when you finally envelope one of them in your mouth. “Wait,” he gasps, clawing at your clothing as if he both wants to push you off and push you closer. You grin, brandishing one mean nip at the sensitive nub. 
Eventually, your incessant need to play with Jungkook’s chest is fulfilled. “Lay back,” you instruct, watching as he shuffles down flat on the cushions, silver hair tumbling away from his eyes. He’s so red, eyes hazy. Your panties are discarded, joining the ever growing pile of clothes on the floor. 
Once upon a time, the idea of sitting on Jungkook’s face had terrified you, filled you with nightmares of crushing his windpipe or breaking his nose. For the most part, they’re pretty unrealistic fears, ones that can be easily shut down after one careful Google search on safe sexual practices. These days, it’s all too easy; in the mornings, especially, it’s become natural for him to guide you on top carefully, holding your hand as you whimper and sob over his face. 
In the current moment, you find yourself stroking a hand down the side of his face, completely enamored with the huge puppy eyes he levels your way. Jungkook likes having your pussy in his face just as much as you do, loves making you feel good in any way he knows how. But there’s a separate matter at hand, one that stands at attention beneath his black boxers and successfully wins your attention. 
Truthfully, there is no dilemma to ponder over; you want both to ride Jungkook’s face and suck him off. The solution?
“We’ve never done this before,” Jungkook mumbles in amazement, his voice slightly muffled from his position beneath you and slightly behind you. Still, his arms dutifully wrap around your thighs, guiding you closer to his mouth where his hot breath fans against your glistening folds. You rock back willingly, hands preoccupied with pushing his boxers down and away from his engorged cock. 
“Really?” you ask, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with the cock before you and the tongue that gently laps at your folds. Jungkook makes a sound, something between a hum and whimper, his mouth slowly getting to work against your folds. “M- Maybe,” you stutter, all thought processes coming to a halt as you carefully take him in your hand. 
His cock is hard and long, his tip an angry shade that weeps with precum. From this angle, you get to watch Jungkook’s huge thighs twitch at the sensation, the tattoo that marks up one of them doing little to hide the fact. Your hand squeezes him, watches in awe as another fat droplet oozes out of his tip. A moan tears itself from his throat, and it’s so goddamn sexy it nearly drives you insane. 
It’s one particularly long lap of his tongue over your clit that sends you into action, back arching at the tingles that shoot down your spine. Wasting no more time, you guide Jungkook’s cock into your mouth, let your own tongue shower his mushroom tip in kitten licks that have him bucking upwards. He releases your clit with a lewd pop, hot breath fanning across your lips. “Fuck,” he gasps, voice harsh. 
Admittedly, it’s more difficult than you thought it would be. 
You’re not one to be easily overwhelmed (says you), but with Jungkook’s twitching cock in your mouth and his teasing tongue dipping into your entrance, it becomes hard to juggle your attention between the two. Even Jungkook, who is quite frankly the master of cunnilingus, seems torn between the two, his breathing shallow and quick against your folds. 
With each slow descent around his cock, he shudders, thigh muscles tightening in anticipation. It causes a lull in the pace of his tongue, the generous kisses and licks against your folds subject to a somewhat uneven pace that, surprisingly, leaves you more on edge than you’d ever expected it to; right when you think he’s about to suck your clit into his mouth, you’re met with a harsh exhale instead, one that makes your lips flutter. 
You’re both disappointed in yourselves for never having tried this mind-blowing position before, and equal parts understanding as to why you haven’t tried this position before— it’s a lot. His cock is halfway down your throat when it twitches, sends a gush of precum into your mouth that has your eyes rolling backwards, a whine slipping out around him. Jungkook appreciates the vibrations, letting it fuel him as he plunges his tongue into your hole. It’s a two way street, you realize, one that is constantly experiencing traffic. 
“Baby,” you gasp, pulling off of his cock with a slick sound, hypnotized by the trail of saliva that connects your lips to his tip. Jungkook’s tongue prods along your slit, makes your eyesight go blurry when the tip of his nose brushes along you as well. The idea of his cute nose buried deep someplace it shouldn’t be has you grinding down on him. “We can— we should stop,” you stutter, your trembling hand reaching forward to grasp the base of his cock. 
He’s slick with your saliva and his precum, and your hand makes a squelching sound upon contact. It must feel good, because Jungkook moans against your folds, his thighs unconsciously falling farther apart as you slowly jerk him off. You think you might’ve heard your name slip from his lips, but your mind is fuzzy, lost in your lust as Jungkook licks a sinful line from your hole to your clit, curling his tongue at the end. “J- Jungkook,” you cry, flinching away because it’s become too much, your toes curling as the beginnings of an orgasm threaten you. 
Before that can happen, he relents, leaning back with a heavy exhale, his hands loosening their grip against your ass and plopping back down against the cushions. “Fuck,” he pants, his cock twitching in your hold. A lonely droplet of precum trails down the side, your knuckles coated in the glossy substance. Beneath you, Jungkook rubs one soothing palm against your hip. 
You slink off before he can get any funny ideas, maneuver yourself around until you’re kneeling between his parted thighs, his fat cock standing at attention between the two of you. From here, he looks ravenous, and you begin to question who exactly is taking care of who. Jungkook looks like he’s a second away from pinning you down and swallowing you whole, a thought that makes your toes curl. 
It’s with a cautiously horny hand that you reach for his cock again, holding him with both hands. Jungkook growls, head lolling backwards until all you can see is his neck and his chin, thick veins protruding along his skin. Jungkook doesn’t waste a moment longer. “C’mere,” he purrs, hauling you up until you’re clumsily leaning over him, palms framing his face. A lone finger runs down your spine, its faint touch making you arch forward. “Sorry,” he says, securing an arm around your waist. “I know you wanted to take care of me, but…”
You roll your eyes, submitting yourself to his clutches as he masterfully rolls the two of you over. The couch is soft beneath your back, and Jungkook looks pretty from above too. “You just can’t sit still, can you?” you murmur playfully. 
Jungkook’s forearms find their place beneath your thighs, the fold of the back of your knee perfectly slotted against his warm skin as he shuffles closer. “Maybe another time,” he laughs along sheepishly, his hard cock gliding over your slit, teasing your clit. You gulp, eyes scanning over his lean build as if it’s the first time. “Sorry,” he repeats, but he’s got this stupidly dopey grin on his face as he glances down at your pussy; he’s insane, he’s got to be, what man makes heart eyes at a pussy?
Your man, apparently. Grasping the base of his cock, Jungkook takes care to drag it along your folds collecting your wetness along his length, a deep shudder wracking his body through it all. “I knew you would do this to me,” he mutters, so low you nearly miss it under the thundering sound of your heartbeat.
“Huh,” you mumble, and you’d like to defend yourself and say you weren’t as cock-crazy as Jungkook was coochie-crazy, but that would be a lie. You’re staring at his cock as if it holds the secrets to the universe right now.
Jungkook juts his head to the side, a motion similar to the one he does when he’s trying to crack his neck. His tongue prods along his cheek, eyes laser-focused on the point where your two bodies meet. “From the moment you walked into my house,” he grunts mindlessly, finally lining himself up with your entrance. He chances a glance up, meets your gaze with a patient look, “all good?”
“All good,” you hurriedly reply, fingers finding their place against his broad shoulders. With the way he had prepared you earlier, mouthed along your clit and your folds until you were pleasantly aroused, the glide now is too easy. Tight, but easy, has the two of you releasing twin moans that echo off the wooden walls of the cabin. 
Jungkook’s forehead is covered in a thin veil of sweat, one that glistens when the evening sunset pours in through the balcony doors, highlighting him in a golden light that makes you dizzy. The angry tip of his cock sinks into your walls, Jungkook’s ashy strands sticking to his forehead and his cheeks. For some reason, you find yourself reminiscing on the aforementioned moment Jungkook had spoken of. Of the soft sweater he’d worn that day and the dinner he had made, the blond tips on his chestnut hair and the way he’d clung onto every word you’d said. 
It makes you tear up, and, after laughing at Jungkook early for crying, you quickly turn your face away. 
Jungkook isn’t dumb. “What now,” he chuckles, though his breathing is labored, every inch of his cock that penetrates you further bringing with it another rush of adrenaline. At the hilt, you’re embarrassed to say there’s multiple tears streaming down your face, so you can’t even play it off as you usually do. “Crybaby,” Jungkook teases, but his voice is so soft and tender you don’t know what to do with yourself. 
“Just move,” you bite out, shamefully covering your face with your hands. Jungkook leans over you, the movement pushing his dick deeper inside of you, your walls clenching around him. A kiss is placed over your knuckles, just shy of your engagement ring. Your chest lurches with a silent sob. “Jungkook,” you whimper, sinking further into the cushion, “please, just—“
“I got it,” he assures you, placing one final peck against your handmade (literally) shield. And then, so quietly you almost miss it, he makes sure to whisper, “love you,” before unsheathing himself. 
You shudder, your heart feeling so full, you fear it’ll burst. You both love and hate when he treats you like this, like an ice sculpture in the scorching heat that has him doing everything he can to keep you solid. His touch is soft, the roll of his hips too slow for your liking. You feel so small and vulnerable— too pampered. “Harder,” you beg, your voice an airy whine that has Jungkook chuckling above you. 
He lives to please you, hiking your leg over his shoulder with a renewed vigor. His hands find themselves on your waist, forcefully pinning you down against the couch cushions as he sets upon fulfilling your latest request. The next series of thrusts are jerky, have you jostling in his grip as Jungkook pounds into you with an all new mindset. “Lemme see you,” he huffs, thumbs painfully digging into your skin. You tremble in his arms, heart swayed by the quiet plea in his voice. “Let me see your face, pretty girl.”
Reluctantly, you do, brandishing your tear-stricken face his way. Jungkook smiles, that stupidly handsome smile, his hips snapping into you roughly. “Fuck,” he moans, the expression never leaving his face, even when run your nails over his chest harshly. “You’re so pretty.”
You ignore him for the sake of your already weakened mental state, focusing instead on the brutal force of his hips, the way his cock stretches your walls out. Each push has you seeing stars, thighs quivering from the sensations that shoot up your spine and down your toes. “Oh,” you mewl, hands gripping his biceps as you lose yourself to him. Your eyes roll back, vision a mess of colors and nothingness all at once. 
“Is this hard enough?” Jungkook husks out, and he sounds so close. His proximity is confirmed when his mouth slots against yours, his harsh breath mingling with your own as he continues to frantically buck into your inviting heat, each new round of thrusts leaving you weaker and weaker than before. “God,” Jungkook cries, the sound nearly lost beneath your own moans and whimpers. “Gonna k- keep you forever,” he spits, tongue slipping into your mouth.
He’s messier than usual, moves with unrefined movements unlike his normal self. You don’t care, you love him all the same. His sloppy kisses turn into desperate ones, matching the pace of his hips. “Kook,” you sob, arms wrapping themselves around his neck, pulling him close until his thrusts are reduced to a shallower depth. 
“I’ve got you,” he croons, lips against your jawline. His cock presses in and you swear you feel it alongside every inch of your walls, a warmth blossoming in your stomach. He’s layering messy kisses down your face now, lips sucking dark marks any chance he gets. 
True to his word, Jungkook indeed has you. His cock pistons in and out at an astonishing pace, each surge into your folds making you dizzy over and over again. It’s a feeling you fear you’ll never grow tired of, in fact, it’s a feeling you fear you’ll begin to crave even more in the future. The good thing is, that future will extend into forever. 
You yank him towards you, swallow his low laughter with your lips. Jungkook doesn’t complain, lowering himself until he’s practically squishing you beneath his beefy body, cock ramming in and out despite all that. His tongue glides along yours, makes it his mission to muffle each of your cries. 
It doesn’t take long for you to be fulfilled. Given the fact you had sucked him off like a lollipop whilst having him eat you out, you’re not entirely surprised. That and the emotions of tonight have you melting into him sooner than you’d like, his name falling from your lips as your thighs clamp down around his waist. Jungkook takes it in stride, slows the maddening pace of his hips to cradle you in his arms. You’re like jelly, practically flop back into the cushion when he slips an arm beneath you. “You’re so good for me,” Jungkook praises, lavishing your throat in tiny pecks as his orgasm circles around. “My pretty girl.”
“Love you,” you sigh, and your body feels numb, his intrusion but a small touch now that he’s tired you out once more, your walls tender and raw. Jungkook presses a smile against your throat and, moments later, releases inside of you. 
Even minutes after the deed, the feeling refuses to return to your legs. He didn’t go that hard— well, you’re not entirely sure. The memories always become blurry toward the end of your escapades. Everything rushes back in waves, and for some reason, your first thought is, “where’s Sailor Moon?”
Your post-rump conversations have never been the most coherent, usually filled with pretty weird thoughts and ideas. Still, more grand things have happened tonight for you to be worried about a magical anime girl. Jungkook draws himself out of your core with a huff of laughter. “On the TV,” he answers, unfazed by the oddity of your question. 
That’s how you know he’s a keeper.
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It takes a while, but eventually Jungkook responds. “Avocado toast,” he says, though his answer is dripping with uncertainty. He’s naked as the day he was born, snuggled up beside you in bed. He’s propped up on one arm, looking down at you over the ample swell of his manly bosom. It takes everything in you to keep your hands off his chest. 
“Correct,” you respond, “and what movie did we watch?”
Without missing a beat, “Transformers, the first one.”
You nod, glancing at the ceiling as you rack your brain for any other trivia questions to ask your fiancé. “The title of the playlist you made?”
A flush paints his cheeks. “Date Night playlist,” he answers through a pout, reprimanding you for bringing up such a memory with a flick to your forehead. You wince. “I was young and silly,” he defends.
You beam, cuddling into his side until he’s forced to lay back down. “Yeah, yeah,” you tease. “We’re only gonna get older from here,” you lament. You’d say it’s difficult to picture him with a gray head of hair, but his current silvery locks don’t leave much room for your imagination.
Jungkook pulls you close. A beat of silence passes, and then, “so who are we telling first?”
Definitely Namjoon.
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Copyright © 2021, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.
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husbandohunter · 4 years ago
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Moments of Despair #1 [Genshin Impact/Diluc x Reader]
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Synopsis: “The man who was on fire and realized it too late.”
(A series of works where the boys deal with the passing of their beloved).
Albedo's despair
Warnings: angst, tragedy, major character death, graphic depictions of violence perhaps
(A/n): Had these ideas for a while after reading @/serensama To Mourn series of another fandom. So much sorrow and feeling I just was inspired to write 😫
_______________________________________________
The moment you fell lifeless in Diluc's arms, he wanted to disappear.
It was raining again, he had always despised the rain. How it trickles down the slope of your cheek, like tears falling from the heavens. The sight of it mixing with your blood creating a thin stream of red rivers flowing beside him. They patter down obnoxiously because time didn't care, the gods don't care, the world didn't care. You were just a small fragile person to their eyes but to him you were his light. A candle that used to shine in his dark world was now dissipitated by the waters of reality.
Many droplets have passed and he was still holding you. Diluc could do nothing but stare. He hadn't shed any tears nor could he make a coherent sound. Perhaps it was because his tears have long run out when his father was held in the very same way. Or it was because he was heartless. He's usually told for being cold and indifferent. But the pain clenching in his chest was proof that he still had one (proof that it was still beating), much to his dismay. It would be better if he didn't.
So why can't he just look away? Your wounds, your bruised features, everything now etched so deep into the back of his conciousness that is was starting to awaken his worst nightmares. They were the source of the bile growing in his stomach. The irony stench filling up his nostrils felt so sickening. He couldn't turn away. You're dead. You're dead. You're dead. As if reality had yet to register, or maybe he refused to accept it, Diluc helplessly gazed down your body with blank and empty eyes.
"Master Diluc..."
Jean's voice called out to him pitifully. He rises up with his back turned, ignoring the stares given to him, "Leave. The knights of favonius are not needed here."
"But she's a Mondstadt citizen," The anemo user retorts, slightly taken aback by his impassive reaction, "It's my responsibility to ensure this case doesn't go unnoticed."
Unnoticed. Diluc scoffs in his mind, what a tasteless joke.
"It seems you weren't listening," he announces as his head was turned ajar so they could see the deep hatred glowing red in his eyes, "Leave. Now."
Jean's lips trembled before barely being able to say, "Alright" and retreating her knights back to the city. Kaeya narrows his gaze at his bother, the sorrow was evident through his pupils. He steps forward until he was arms length away from his brother. Too little too late, another failure was added to the belt.
Kaeya was a man of many words but for once he was at loss of what to say. No underhanded suggestions, no ideas taunting him to spill his thoughts, he simply asks Diluc, "What are you planning to do now?"
Silence. Kaeya couldn't predict what sort of expression his brother was making as he looks at your corpse. It brought a heavy weight of unsettlement upon him and here he thought he had already grown used to his brother's quietness.
Slowly, he turns around while letting the water pour down his face. Kaeya tightens his jaw as Diluc drags his feet towards him, stopping when their shoulders were parallel, "It's none of your concern."
"You're just going to leave her here?"
There was a slight pause which was enough of an answer. The Cavalry Captain sighs when he watched him walk away, what was the point of asking when Kaeya knew Diluc so well? He glances at your form before swiftly shutting his eyes.
It was his concern.
-------
A week later, the staff of the Ragnvindr household could hardly recognize their Master's appearance. They knew not to bother him when he decides to lock himself in his chambers. Diluc drowns himself with work from hours to no end as he connects the findings of the person that took your life. As expected, it was one of his enemies- a fatui member. The question was, which one?
"Master Diluc, I beg of you, please take care of yourself," Elzer pleads.
The pyro user didn't bother to spare him a glance or look at the tray of food he carried.
Food...you always brought them whenever he had to work overtime.
"I do not remember specifiying anyone to be allowed in my office," he voices aloud, "If it's related to business affairs simply leave that with Adelinde and I'll take a look at it tomorrow."
"I understand. But you've been working all day and night yet refusing to take any breaks in between. At this rate, you'll harm your health."
The feather pen in his grip kept dragging it's course, "This is beyond the duties assigned to you Elzer."
"That's because it was a request sent by your father," he adds, knowing that stepping over his boundaries may cost him, "If Master Crepus was still here, I'm sure he would have said the same thing."
Taking a deep breath, Elzer lays out his last card, "And also your wife."
The pen slows into a halt.
No one had brought you up until now. Elzer anxiously watches his Master shifting in his seat, his red bangs covering half of his face but he could still see the frown pressing firmly on his lips. It wouldn't be a surprise if Diluc suddenly bursted at him for mentioning such a sensitive topic, all that matters was his master's well being and Elzer was willing to risk everything for it. But nothing. Diluc turns his attention ever so slightly at the tray he carried.
"Fine, but I'm not eating that."
"What? Wasn't this was her favourite-"
"Do I need to repeat myself?"
Elzer furrows his brows before sighing, "...No, Master Diluc."
He exits the room while carrying the fresh dish of Once Upon A Mondstadt that you loved so much. The door closes with a soft click and he was alone again.
People found it strange how Diluc seemed so vacant to your passing. He didn't even show up at your funeral. Instead, he continues his duties as a Mondstadt nobleman like usual while taking care of business matters associated with the winery. Except those who were close to him could see the difference in his actions. Apathy, he was so mechanical in every task he did. Like a marionette attatched on strings, a doll without a soul. After all, his soul died the moment when yours did too. What remains was a shadow of Diluc and a being existing solely for revenge and duty. He was nothing but a remnant.
Fatigue begins to wash over him and he fights to stay awake. Because once he gives in it will all be over. Once he closes his eyes, he would see your face with a multitude of images from the past. He would hear your voice calling out his name from a distant space as it echoes off the walls of his mind. He would fall into a dream where you were still with him and as always, waking up to see that it was never real.
I should have pushed you away.
Because what hurt Diluc the most wasn't that you were gone, rather, it was how you were still here.
Then you'd still be-
Something breaks and it turned out to be the pen he was holding so tightly. Only now Diluc realized how fast his heart was thrumming as beads of sweat began rolling down his forehead. Focus. Don't waste time. He won't grant himself the liberty of anything when your murderer was still on the run. Every wound they inflicted on you was going to be returned in tenfold. He'll make sure of it. That's why, he refuses to think about you at all. Diluc occupies his mind with other matters since at this point, work was the only efficient method of keeping his sanity in tact.
She needs you to focus.
The door opens and Kaeya enters the room while holding a document, "We found the guy."
His reaction was immediate, "Where?"
"Hm, now that we meet, it's actually quite debateable," The captain notes wryly, "When was the last time you've gotten proper rest?"
"I don't have time for this, either you tell me or I'll do it by force."
Kaeya couldn't help but sigh, "Apologies but you don't seem to be in any state for a fight. I'm sure you know how it would end up if you were to face your enemy right now."
"..."
"Diluc, this isn't healthy," Kaeya asserts, it's been a while since he sounded so sincere, "I'm not here to prevent you from doing what's necessary however, perhaps it would be better if I finished it in your stead."
"No," Diluc stubbornly answers, "Hand that over."
"...Heh, then there's really nothing I can do to stop you it seems," he whispers with a sad smile, "At the very least, be careful."
"I intend to," The pyro user snatches the paper parchment out of Kaeya's hands before opening the window, "Also, if Elzer returns, tell him there's a few errands I have to take care of."
The night was a full moon and the sky was empty, Diluc leaps off the edge and disappears into the darkness. There was no telling of what could happen next. Since you weren't here, it was up to Kaeya to watch over him.
-------
The claymore dropped to the ground with a clang as it soaks up the blood of the fatui he just killed.
Diluc was tired, so tired.
He slumps down against the wall from pure exhaustion, all that adrenaline and hatred went up in fumes, leaving behind whatever was left in his heart: nothing. Two hours, not even that far from Mondstadt, the fatui hid in an abandoned building as he cowarded for his life. When Diluc arrived, he never expected this monster to be so weak. This was the person who murdered you? A pathetic nobody that was simply following orders? This was the reason why he lost you forever?
In the end, the only one to blame was himself, for being weak and unable to protect you. He was supposed to be your hero ("Darknight hero," you'd always tease), the rock that shields you just as you had been the warmth he longed for many years, did he give you enough? Was this enough? He thought avenging your death would grant him a peace of mind and the justice you deserved but deep down, he knew it will never be enough when it comes to his love for you.
"Diluc."
He closes his eyes, he hears your voice. He was so tired, it wouldn't be a surprise if he started hallucinating.
"Diluc."
"I'm sorry..."
The man lets out a trembled breath as he apologized to the image of you in his mind. I'm sorry I failed you. They were repeated like a mantra in hopes to reach you somehow. Of course that was impossible, his feelings, his emotions, love and sorrow altogether will never reach you again. And your arms that once comforted him and brushed his hair with a soothing voice, saying everything will be okay, where are they now?
"Diluc."
"Stop," he didn't want to hear your voice.
"Diluc, I'm here."
"Stop..."
"Diluc..."
He jolts his eyes open and lets out a yell, what was he saying? He doesn't know. All he needed now was to drown out the fake voices mocking in his head. Diluc grabs the nearest object and shatters it against the floor, the dam was broken and it flooded uncontrollably, breaking everything in it's way. The abandoned house was filled with loud cries of a man sobbing with agony like a broken-hearted child. He crumbles to his knees and falls to his side, lifting his forearms while clutching his face.
And screamed.
Archons, what did he do to deserve this? Why do the people he cherish get taken away from him? Diluc never wanted to be the Darknight hero if it meant having his father perish in his arms. He didn't want the feeling of stabs against his chest with every breath he took. He didn't want to feel cold while knowing it was because you weren't here to hold him. He didn't want your voice, your pictures or your memory.
He wanted you.
"(Y/n)..." he chokes. Rolling to his back, Diluc moves his arms to cover his eyes, letting the tears run down to his ears, "(Y/n)..."
For who knows how long, he lays there in the abandoned building and mourns. Diluc doesn't have the strength to move from his position, he found himself staring mindlessly through the cracks of the roof when his voice had gone hoarse. The corners of his eyes still burned and his head was throbbing with so much pain. Maybe he should just stay here but the thought of being in the same room as your murderer was unfathomable.
Picking up his claymore once again, Diluc drags himself out of the door. Where would he go? It's not like he had a home to return to because home was when he was with you. A doll without a soul, the marionette moves as if the strings have commanded him to do so. Where ever it takes him, he didn't care. He just knew he had to go.
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five-rivers · 4 years ago
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@lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks came up with this op!Danny/Marvel AU!
BTW I need help naming this newest proof that I can't keep anything to a short little one-shot.
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Loki was not, and never had been, a good man. For that matter, whether or not he’d ever been a good boy was debatable. His mother would argue that he had, but she would very likely be the only one. Well, except for Thor, perhaps, but that was because he was an idiot who could drown in three inches of nostalgia. Like he didn’t remember every time Loki had humiliated him. Maybe he didn’t, for all that he kept falling for the same trick over and over again.
It made Loki’s late nights studying the arts of illusion, misdirection, and lying seem redundant. Almost. Not everyone was as dense as his big brother.
No. Loki had never been a good man. He had, however, been a free man.
Free to run or hide. Free to explore the nooks and crannies of Asgard, to uncover her secrets in ways few cared to do. Free to walk hidden paths between the Nine Realms and even farther flung territories, where his people did not and had never ruled, to play games, make deals, have adventures, take risks. To be. To exist as his own creature.
He had been free. He had.
But on one of those little secret excursions, he had discovered something that had made even his flippant, slippery heart clench with fear. A ravening plague, spreading across the stars. The death of half of everything on the horizon.
Loki was not a good man. What cause did he have to care for all the sundry others in the universe? There were too many. It was too much to ask.
But Asgard—His home, even though the had long ago realized the blood in his veins originated on very different soil. That was different.
Asgard, he could help. Asgard could survive.
But it had to be strong. It had to have strong allies. None of this barely-held peace, this enemy eternally at their gates. It needed strong leadership. Not his brother’s simplistic view and longing for the glory of war.
Loki was not a good man. But he was one who could get things done.
Before he knew it, he had burned all his bridges behind him. In one case, a literal bridge that was literally broken.
And he fell.
And he fell.
And he fell right into the hands of the one he had feared enough to do this. Broken enough for poison to drip into the cracks. No one knew where he was, no one could know where he was, except, perhaps, Heimdal, and Loki sincerely doubted Heimdal cared. No one was coming for him. No one was looking for him. No rescue was forthcoming.
He was alone.
Asgardians were considered gods for a reason. Their bodies and minds were much more resilient than the average mortal’s. But Thanos’s people had been titans, and there was a reason for that, too.
Thanos enjoyed breaking him.
And Loki turned his lies on himself. A skilled master of games always had one gifted opponent, even alone. Hadn’t he wanted to rule? To command? To see a world, any world, prostrate at his feet? To be given the recognition and praise of which he was so worth?
To pull something, anything, out of the fire?
(If he had spent less time learning how to spin lies and more on how to see the truth, he might not have believed it. A better, wiser, man would have. But Loki was not a good man. And he was very skilled in his craft.)
So, his new master put a weapon in his hands, and he went off to conquer a world.
.
Danny was used to rude awakenings. He was used to those rude awakenings being full body chills and ghosts, not someone knocking on his door.
Blearily, he pulled himself out from under the blankets. Quasi-military government facility or not, the beds were comfortable. Maybe Mom or Dad had gotten themselves locked out of their room? Or Jazz��No, not Jazz, she hadn’t come with them. She was at college, not being flown places by Mom and Dad’s suspiciously generous new consulting job.
At least it wasn’t the GIW.
He stood on tiptoe (curse his perpetually short body) to peer out the peephole. His parents’ buff, one-eyed, and incredibly imposing new boss stood in front of the door, hands on his hips, slightly sweeping back his long dark coat. If Danny listened carefully, he could hear two other people near the door, and… was that an alarm? Yes. Faint, but present, was a warning klaxon.
Okay. Danny would bet his right arm that something had gone horribly wrong with whatever his parents were consulting on. Didn’t explain why the boss was in front of his door.
Unless they’d gotten the rooms mixed up, somehow?
Ugh. Danny wasn’t paid enough to deal with this.
He opened the door. “What-?”
“Phantom,” intoned eyepatch guy with great solemnity.
Danny immediately tried to close the door. The guy stuck his foot in the jamb, and, sure, Danny could have crushed it, but that would be a jerk move. He didn’t think this guy was going for a pirate look, after all.
“We need your help.”
.
“I’m not sure what you think I can help you with,” yelled Danny over the beating of the helicopter blades. He’d remained stubbornly in human form. “My parents are the scientists. This sounds like a science thing. Not a punching-people thing.”
“We spoke to them earlier,” said Fury, “and we have plenty of scientists working on the theories they brought up. You’re the one with practical experience.”
“Practical experience in what?”
“Interdimensional portals,” said the woman, who had yet to introduce herself.
As if this whole thing wasn’t already giving him a bad feeling. “My parents built an interdimensional portal. Again, you should be talking to them. They’re the ones you’re paying.”
“We could pay you, too,” said Fury, “but we assumed you would want to avoid letting your parents know about this, as you’re still a minor and they have control of your bank accounts.”
Danny stared flatly. “This is blackmail.”
“We aren’t threatening you,” pointed out the woman.
“Emotional blackmail,” said Danny, glaring, daring her to challenge him on whether or not he actually knew what blackmail was.
In the meantime, the helicopter landed. Danny unbuckled and hopped out, trailing slightly awkwardly behind Fury and the woman. He didn’t want to stand out, but he suspected that, being the only kid here and being in the general vicinity of Fury, who radiated authority, that was a lost cause.
“This is Agent Coulson. Coulson, this is Phantom.”
Danny’s mouth went dry(er) at how casual the introduction was. His eyes went nervously to all the other people running around the field. With all the noise, it was unlikely anyone had heard, but still…
“Can you not? Secret identity and all? Unless you’ve told everyone herealready, which, rude.”
Fury sighed. “How bad is it?” he asked Coulson.
“We’re not sure,” said Coulson. “That’s the problem. Big fan of your work, by the way,” he added as an aside to Danny. He glanced at the woman. “Agent Hill.”
“Background?” asked Fury as he led the way into the building.
“The first energy surge was four hours ago. Dr. Selvig’s equipment picked it up – He’s the head scientist on this project.”
“Dr. Selvig isn’t authorized to test,” said Fury. “We wanted to run his plans by the Fentons.”
“He wasn’t testing. He wasn’t even in the room. He called it ‘spontaneous advancement.’”
“It turned itself on?”
“What are the energy levels?” asked Fury before Hill’s question could be answered.
“Climbing,” said Coulson.
“Mr. Fenton,” said Fury, “any comments?”
“Look, I don’t even know what this thing that you built looks like or what it’s a door to.” Danny frowned as a thought occurred to him. “You’re not expecting me to fight whatever comes out of it, are you? Because, unless you’ve got a ghost portal down there, I can’t make guarantees.”
“It’s called the Tesseract,” said Coulson. “It’s supposed to be a connection to the other side of space. A source of unlimited energy. At least,” there was a note of humor in his voice despite the evacuation taking place around them, “that’s what the scientists say.”
“A door to space?” asked Danny, firmly shoving down his excitement at the prospect. “Like, a Stargate?” It was no good, he could practically feel himself sparkling. He took a firm grip of his core and reminded himself he might need to fight before the end of the day.
“Well, no,” said Coulson. “It’s this little… cube… thing.” He made a shape with his hands.
“Oh,” said Danny, mind still whirring. “You know, if it’s really a tesseract, it isn’t a cube in just three dimensions, so bigger things could come out of it than you’d think.” He’d seen some weird portals in the Ghost Zone.
“Well, right now, we’re just getting energy.” They entered a large room with an extremely sci-fi setup. It looked like they were planning to shoot some kind of laser across the room onto a platform surrounded by strange-looking panels. There were men with guns scattered around in what was probably a well thought out formation Danny couldn’t see. There was also a dude with a bow sitting up in the rafters. He frowned down at Danny as he noticed Danny noticing him.
“Dr. Selvig!”
“Director!”
“What do we know?”
Danny allowed himself to be distracted by the centerpiece of the room, a piece of machinery built around what was indeed a little cube thing. He tilted his head and approached, trying to get a better view of it around the people in lab coats and protective gear currently swarming it. He caught mention of radiation a grimaced.
It was unlikely to kill him, but, really, everyone here should probably be wearing more PPE. You never knew what was going to come out of an interdimensional portal, after all. Except trouble. Trouble was a pretty safe bet.
It was pretty. Blue. Reminded him a little of a blue raspberry ice pop. Part of him wanted to lick it. Which was stupid. He didn’t want to wind up half what-ever-lived-on-the-other-side on top of his regular ghost nonsense.
“Mr. Fenton?”
Danny jumped and turned, refocusing on the adults, who had multiplied while he’d been daydreaming. The guy with the bow had joined them.
“Mr. Fenton? Like the Doctors Fenton I spoke to earlier?” asked Selvig.
“Yeah, it’s—”
This, of course, was when everything decided to explode. Sort of.
The blue cube shot out a beam of energy that had more than a little in common with the Fenton Bazooka’s portal setting. The beam terminated on the platform, a portal rapidly forming.
Danny slid into a fighting stance, and barely even noticed as blue energy washed over the room, throwing many less-prepared people back.
Something shaped like a man stepped through the portal.
Danny did not break his stance. Still. “An alien,” he whispered, eyes wide. If they were friendly, maybe they’d answer his questions about space. If they weren’t friendly, maybe they’d answer his questions about space after Danny beat them up.
(Danny did not go ghost. Did not even think about going ghost. There were too many people here, and the space was too open.)
Fury attempted to negotiate. Danny approved. Not everything that came through an interdimensional portal was necessarily evil.
Except this guy apparently was. Go figure. He could also deflect bullets and was very good with throwing knives, which led to Danny having to pull several of the gun guys out of their own line of fire as well as the alien’s line of knife. Who would have thought an alien’s weapon of choice would be throwing knives? The energy-blasting spear was much more in line with his expectations.
The bow guy proved to be more competent than the gun guys. This didn’t really surprise Danny. Bow guy sort of had to be competent. Otherwise, no way would they let him go around with a bow. Like, seriously. A bow.
Even so, bow guy was fighting an alien and—
“You have heart,” said the alien, raising the spear.
Danny pushed bow guy out of the way, and his mind fuzzed out.
(The human part of it, anyway.)
.
Loki didn’t know what a child was doing here, and he didn’t particularly care. The boy would do for a hostage, at least. He had a mission he had to fulfil, or else…
Or else.
“Please don’t,” he said turning with a shadow of his usual lazy affect, vaguely insulted that the human thought he could be sneaker that him, “I still need that.”
The human went on and on, apparently burdened with the delusion that he was on the same level as Loki.
Loki was burdened with other things. A glorious purpose. Glad tidings. Freedom. What could be better than freedom?
“A world free from what?” asked the human.
“From freedom,” said Loki, and wasn’t that what he believed, now? Wasn’t that what he’d been shown? “Freedom is life’s great lie.” He would know. He was an excellent liar. “Once you accept that, in your heart—” He batted away an arrow and tsked. “Shield me, boy,” he demanded. Had Thanos misrepresented the scepter’s powers? Or was the boy merely—
A dome of green surrounded him and the boy, thrumming with magic the likes of which he had only seen once, in a tome thrice forbidden.
“Oh,” said Loki, almost purring. “You are interesting. What are you?”
“Half human, half ghost,” replied the boy, tersely.
Loki had never heard of such a creature. No matter. He’d be sure to make good use of him.
“Grab the scientist,” he said, nodding at the balding man who had been with his brother when he’d fought the Destroyer in the desert.
Loki wanted the archer. He seemed interesting. Useful.
.
Fenton was under thrall. Phantom knew what that felt like. A hundred feet under red water, trying not to drown, whispers everywhere. Pulling. Pushing. Prodding.
This was different, but the principle was the same.
Neither half of him could truly ‘fight’ the other. Fenton and Phantom were a single entity. Not two in lockstep. Even so.
Fenton grabbed onto Dr. Selvig, as ordered. Phantom made sure that was all they did.
“What are you doing, boy?” snapped Loki. “Follow me! Bring the scientist.”
And so, they followed.
.
Loki breathed. Acquiring Barton had been the right choice. The boy was powerful, but, perhaps because of his unique biology, did not have Barton’s presence of mind, and couldn’t have led him to such wonderful allies.
Allies.
These weren’t truly his allies. Nor were they subjects. They were…
Loki forced himself to breathe. He just had to follow the mission. Follow the mission, let Thanos’s army through. He’d been promised this world. He would have this world.
And then he could be… His mind stuttered over the next word, and he shook his head, trying to drive out the painful buzz of Thanos’s herald and mouthpiece trying to contact him.
He looked up at the drones bustling around, all according to his will. Except the boy, who stared at him, somehow managing to be both utterly blank and challenging at the same time.
He was alone, here.
He was alone.
But what did it matter? Bad men always wound up alone, and Loki… Loki could never be a good man.
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takuyakistall · 4 years ago
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colds and kisses
Lilia has lived for a long, long time now and it was safe to assume that he knew of a few things a normal student wouldn't, though, having said that—he used it to his advantage against you and you find yourself falling for one of his pranks. You ought to think twice when dealing with fae, lest you want him to trick you again.
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Getting a cold wasn't always the best outcome especially when it was the middle of the year when the professors would throw countless assignments and tests towards the student body, not giving even a single ounce of concern. Staying behind wasn't the brightest idea either—though with your body aching and head throbbing, it was hard for you to walk without having to feel like your whole body was about to give in.
Although you loved the idea of staying inside your room for the rest of the day, there was no denying that today wasn't the best time for that especially when the thought of your schoolwork piling up terrified you, it would be even more troublesome to deal with after you recovered.
You threw the covers over your head, burying yourself beneath the blanket and into the soft mattress as you closed your eyes, letting out a soft sigh. You could feel your warm breath bounce back and made it hard to breathe, you removed the blanket over your head—the fresh air entering your system as you desperately wished this troublesome cold went away.
"If only there was a quick way to get rid of this…" you whined, closing your eyes once again before you could hear someone knock on the door. You had no energy to stand up and weakly muttered under your breath that they could come in, praying that they heard it somehow so that you wouldn't have to stand up yourself.
The door clicked open, revealing none other than the vice dorm leader of Diasomnia, Lilia Vanrouge. If it was anyone else, you would've been shocked if they heard you from that distance with such a small voice; Lilia, however, mentioned he had superb hearing and seeing it being put to use like this wasn't much of a surprise but more of something that put you in awe.
"Oh dear, it seems like you really do have a cold." Lilia held a small tray with a single bowl lying atop—inside was a mix of various colours and bubbles forming like a swamp, you felt your blood run cold at the sight as you gulped.
"Worry not, I prepared something for you to help!" His enthusiastic voice made it harder for you to focus on the indescribable dish in his hands, worried that he might be talking about it when you were already fully aware that the dish was for you. Despite loathing the idea of eating his cooking, you never wanted to hurt his feelings when he's being very sincere.
"L-Lilia," you managed to squeak out. Barely managing to stop him from giving you the dish temporarily. He turned his head to meet your eyes, tilting his head cutely as if to question you without opening his mouth.
"Isn't there any other way to make me feel better? Like… don't you have any solutions back in your country? A spell, maybe?"
"For a simple cold?" He rubbed his chin, a devilish idea popping into his head as if the devil himself shoved it in. "There is one remedy popular among the fae."
"Really?" Your eyes sparkled, hoping that this was a chance for you to get back on your feet as soon as possible and get back to class—Lilia saw your reaction and couldn't help but let out a hearty laugh.
"It's a secret shared only among fae though," he lied. "So I must ask you to close your eyes while I do it for you."
You raised an eyebrow, a suspicious look forming on your face. Lilia wasn't exactly someone with a clean record with the way he constantly pranks his peers whenever he feels like it and you were no exception to his childish whims, you wonder if this was one of his silly little jokes but shoved the thought aside as you nodded reluctantly.
"Good," he praised you. Inching closer towards you before asking you to close your eyes and so you did.
You didn't hear Lilia say anything, nor did you feel him do anything for the first few seconds. Your suspicion began to rise as you debated on opening your eyes or not until you felt his cold, gloved hand cup your cheek and a pair of lips landing on yours.
Your eyes shot open in shock and felt your cheeks heat up tremendously, scooting away from the bat as you looked at him with a shocked expression—heart beating fast, too fast. He only laughed and let out a half-hearted apology, "Kufufu, do forgive me."
"W-What was that for!?" You exclaimed, angry yet still flushed at the sudden kiss. You fell for his pranks yet again, there was nothing more you wanted than to kick him out of your room.
"I could not help myself, you looked absolutely adorable when you believed there was a magic spell for a cold."
"So that was a lie?"
"Not entirely," Lilia went closer to you once again, faces inches close as he shot you another one of his smiles. "The best way to get rid of a cold is to pass it on to someone else, no?"
His hand cupped your cheek, preparing to kiss you once again as he asked you: "You do want to get better as soon as possible, don't you?"
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youn9racha · 4 years ago
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I Know (Part II)
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Pairing: Changbinxfem!reader
Genre: smut
Warning: mild stalking, stripping, phone sex???, mutual masturbation, semi-exhibitionism, a tiny bit of corruption kink, and an even tinier praise kink, switch!changbin, switch!reader
Words: 2.8k
Extra Notes: like I’ve mentioned in the last part, everyone is above the age of 21 (think senior year of college age), so thats that. I’ve also noticed that the lyric is not that related to the story, but oh well :’) anyways, hope you enjoy this
And baby, I know, I know whatever city you’re in, you’re still the boy that I’d pick…
PLEASE READ PART 1 FIRST BEFORE THIS !!
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This is no way representative of the way Stray Kids act. They’re nothing but references of character, and in no shape or form is this how they act. And I am in no way romanticizing or glamorizing any toxic behavior exhibited, they’re just stories that is meant to be read. Readers discretion is advised.
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Changbin’s calling me…
What in the world does he want to talk to me about in this ungodly hour? It wasn’t late, but it certainly wasn’t early enough for a call like this. I looked back at the window and I still see the curtains still closed, assuming he was out or maybe in another room. I answered and put the phone in my ear.
”Hello?”
“Hey, (y/n)! I just wanted to call to check up on you,” he said, “how are you?”
Damn, he only called for innocent intentions... Why is he so damn cute?! (y/n), you got two choices to respond back; you either respond give him a nice sweet response, or you give a sly yet friendly comeback. It can work—
“(y/n)?” The voice out of the phone took me out of my inner self’s debate.
“Yes! Yes! I am fine,” I said, embarrassed and mentally facepalming myself. This is not doing well, he already thinks I am a creep and a loser. Or maybe not, since its seems like I heard a faint chuckle and the word “cute,” followed by, but that could just be a figment of my imagination. “How are you?”
”Oh, I am good, just came back from hanging out with Chan and Han,“ changbin responded, there were shuffling in the background so he could be doing something while on the phone, but what is it? I wouldn’t know. I heard him and Chris mentioning a ‘Han’ in our conversation we had while preparing for my apartment, so that name is familiar, however the owner’s not. “You should meet him one day, I think you both will be good friends.”
”Woah there, you better take me to dinner first before I meet your friend,” I teased. Keep it going, (y/n), you’re on the right track, you’ve definitely caught him off guard, like you always do.
“Give me a place, time, and date, you’ll get that dinner, or maybe I’ll let Chris take you.” Changbin nonchalantly said, oozing confidence just by his voice. That bitch… Always makes it harder for me than it already is. As if he saw my blushing reaction, he began laughing.
“What’s wrong, princess? Cat’s got your tongue?” He said it in a low voice. Usually, I would gag if anyone—let alone a man—calls me princess, but with him, it felt different. It felt… arousing? No! No! (y/n), get a grip!
I rolled my eyes and laid on my back to be more comfortable, “What is it, Changbin?” I said, changing the subject, “What is that you wanted to call me at 10 p.m?” Yes, pretend like he didn’t just call you princess in the sexiest tone of voice you’ve ever heard. Totally would work.
”I told you, I just want to check up on you,“ he confessed but he also paused to say something further, “and also I am bored and I kinda felt like talking to you. I’m not wasting your time, aren’t I?” Although I couldn’t see him, he does however sound really sincere with his words. I don’t want to sound naive, but he sounded truthful.
“No,” I shook my head, “you really didn’t, besides I just got out the shower and was just scrolling through instagram.” I said, looking down in my nails.
”Oh, really?” He said, “were you going to sleep?”
”No, I stay on social media for a long period of time, I don’t sleep that easily“
”I see,” he said, but then he stopped talking. As the awkward silence has erupted between us, I started to think more about the first time I saw him and how I felt. While I thought it would be better for me to tell him later on and on person, but this balloon inside of me was getting bigger and bigger as guilt is inflating it. I sighed and started to speak, “Hey Changbin.”
”Yeah?”
“Can I confess you to something?”
”Tell me anything, doll, I’m all ears.”
Dammit! You’re not making it easier.
I bit my lips, “uhh,” I am glad he wasn’t looking at me, grimacing and slapping my head.
”You know hitting yourself isn’t gonna help,” as soon as Changbin uttered these words, my heart sank. My eyes widened as I got up and looked out window. His curtains were open, and it showcase a very, very pleasant show.
I see Changbin, sitting at the edge of his bed, facing me as his black shirt was fitting his form really well, especially with the semi-flexed arm that has his phone near his ears meanwhile the other arm was holding the elbow of the occupied arm. He was look at me straight at my eyes when we made eye contact, and fuck, was that an image to look at. As I looked like a deer going through a headlight, Changbin tilted his head in confusion, but he still had a smirk, “what is it you wanted to me?” he said through the phone.
”I-I“ I stuttered. At this point, I’ve lost all sense of dignity and my self thought, I am about to get called a creep by a good looking man I met not too long. Here goes nothing.
”I may have invaded your privacy,” I said, which caused Changbin to furrow his eyebrows in even more confusion, still having a slight smile to it. “What are you talking about?”
”Ugh, Changbin, I saw you half naked when apartment touring numerous times!” I yelled in frustration, as he kept pushing my button. I looked away, not bearing to look at him, as I closed my eyes out of guilt. “I understand if you don’t want to be friend, even though we met for only a week, but I just couldn’t bear the guilt that I—“
As I confessed, I heard a laugh coming put of the phone, I opened my eyes and looked at Changbin looking down, with shoulders shaking up and down. Now, I have the confused look that he had, “What’s funny?”
“Oh, princess, you have no idea,” He said, still looking down. Me still being bemused, he noticed my silence and looked up at my frowned face.
”I know…” He smirked, while my eyes were widened. Son of a bitch.
”W-wh-“
“I thought you knew that I’m doing all this on purpose, I’ve been trying to catch your attention every single way.” He leaned forward, placing both elbows in his knees, “I thought you were smart, only to be a gullible baby.” He whispered the last part, as I gulped at the last part. God damn, he’s so intense with his gaze. His eyes wandering all over me meanwhile maintaining a very dark yet exciting aura, which typically puts me off but now, I’ve never wanted to pounce a man so badly.
I smirked at him, the guilt I had had fizzled away, only to replace with arousal.
“So you’re not mad?” I looked at him, with innocent eyes, now laying on my side, facing him, as my robe slipped and exposed a part of my shoulder and the upper of my chest. He breathed in, as he was examining me, “no, why would I be mad at you?” He leaned back, as his head was thrown back, neck exposed, placing his free hand on the back of his neck.
God, is he so fine…
”I could never be mad at my precious baby.” He smiled a seductive smile at me, which made me riled up by rolling my eyes and looking up. “You like getting called that, don’t you?” He may have said it in a question form, but it didn’t feel like one, it was rather a statement than a question. “Hm,” I said, looking back at him, eyes half opened out of hunger for him.
We had an intense eye contact, where if it weren’t for the distant and the glass that is placed in front of us, we’d probably be all over each other.
”Has your hang out with Han and Chris worn you out?” I asked, decievingly innocent. Man, the power this man has over me is no joke. He scoffed, “so you’re just going to mention other men like that?”
Ignoring him, I got up, letting the towel that was loosely in my head fall onto my bed, and went closer to the window, “let me relieve you of your stress, if you don’t mind.” I shyly fidgeted on my robe belt. He looked at me up and down, licking his lips, “I wouldn’t mind, if you don’t as well.”
There’s nothing more sexier than mutual consent. (y/n), shut up, don’t ruin the moment.
I smiled and backed away from the window. I put my phone on speaker and put it on the side. I looked back at him, as I held onto my robe belt, he looked at me with a smile. I turned around with a slight sway on my hips, as I slowly undid my belt, slowly exposing my back at him, smiling as I heard a shuddering breath coming out of the phone.
As the robe completely fell off my body, being just in my underwear, exposing whatever secret flaws that has been hidden from the public. I silently gasp at the cool breeze as I held onto my chest, sensing my nipples getting hard. “Turn around for me, baby,” Changbin’s breathy voice echoed all over the room.
We may not be in the same room, and we maybe exposing ourselves to whoever is above and under us as well, but neither of us care. In our eyes, we only got each other, and we’re the only ones in existence.
I turned to him, letting go of my breasts and letting myself be bare, only to see him palming himself through his tight pants, groaning at his lack of full on skin-to-skin touch. It’s like he was waiting for me to tell him touch himself, which proved correct when he said, “please, let me touch myself.”
I smiled sympathetically, and also slightly astonishingly. I have never met a man with such switch like that. His dominating demeanor has faded and been replaced to a submissive cutie, which I obviously seem to admire very much. Pretending to thinking, I sat down, and looked at him, putting my hands behind me, “only if you give me a show too.”
I smirked at his state. He was disheveled, and adorned a beet tint all across his cheeks and nose. He looked beaten, but I loved it, and he does too. He put his phone on speaker too, quickly got up, and rapidly got his shirt.
“Ah ah!” I said, which caused him to freeze, looking at me, desparation was seeping through his eyes. Menacingly smiling, “slowly.”
Which he obeyed, surprisingly patient and sensual, I jokingly remarked that “he got dancer hips,” with the way he took off clothes while his hips moved in a way not many who can control their bodies can. He chuckle, “you should see how it works wonder,” his cocky attitude has made a comeback, which should piss me off but it made the whole thing hotter than it already is.
We’re both in our underwear, looking up at our eyes and looking down at each other’s half-nude bodies. Changbin wasn’t the tallest man I have ever met—not that it matters—, but he got many aspects that makes up for it, and its not just looks or personality. Just by the outline, I can tell that his little guy wasn’t little.
I propped myself with my elbows as I spread my legs, for him to see the wet spot that is stained in my underwear. He grunted at the sight, while I chuckle, “you like what you see?” I faux-innocently asked as I trailed my hand from my neck, making my head fall back, down to the valley of my chest, onto the waistband of my underwear.
“Fuck…” Changbin cursed, admiring the sight in front of him. He didn’t realize how lucky he was to see me in a state like this, not many have the privilege, especially not with men I met in a short amount of time.
I tugged my panties, took it off and exposed a part that he was dying to see, which caused him to gulp. He sighed with a smile, “god damn, (y/n),“ he shook his head in disbelie, “I’ve always thought you were gorgeous, but now I’m convinced you’re a goddess“
I giggle at his words, “and you, sir, are a demon disguised as a greek god” I teased back, tracing my two fingers around my lips, I noticed that he still was in his underwea. He still waited for my permission. How adorable.
”You can take off your underwear, Binnie” I didn’t even mean to give him the nickname, but I was too excited to even think straight. I looked at him, and saw him reveal his friend, and I gasped loudly, which made Changbin alert. “What? Whats wrong?”
”Nothing, its just,” I chuckle, “you have a nice dick.”
”Thank you,” He smirked as he sat down and looked at me, with full attention. I put my two fingers into my mouth, while maintaining eye contact. I then trailed my finger down to clit, which resulted in me letting out a blissful gasp. Meanwhile, Changbin was repositioning to a comfortable position as he began to touch himself, which caused him to let out a choked out groan.
”Binnie, as you touching yourself?” I half-whispered, but it was still loud enough for him hear along with my fingers movements that moved from my clit onto my slit, which made me moan.
”Ah-y-yes” Changbin groaned and nodded, as he was stroking his dick following the pace that I was going at.
After hearing Changbin’s groans, I began inserting my fingers at my slit, making me whimper in the process, “oh, fuck” I cursed, as I started to thrust my fingers in and out, noises coming out of my mouth along with the wetness of my pussy were getting louder, which excited Changbin, as his stroking was audible through the phone along with his beautiful groans.
“god, (y/n), if only I could touch you,” Changbin spoke through groans when he saw me fondling my breast and going faster. I was getting louder with my noises, in contrast of Changbin’s quite yet beautiful and audible noises. So much so, it sounds like Changbin was watching porn, rather than getting fucked at a distance.
“Ah-are-fuck-are you close?” Changbin asked through whines, his speech was getting difficult as he was getting closer to climax with his strokes going as fast as I was.
I nodded, out of struggle of speech, whining out, “Ah! Binnie!”
“Fuck, (y/n), I’m—“ Changbin grunted, as his strokes was started to get sloppy, he began to thrust onto his hands. I began to feel like something burning up in my stomach, moaning at the sensation, “Chang—I’m cummin— I’m cumming”
“Me too…” He choked on his words, as his groans and moans were also getting louder. Our phone voices combined was dirty but erotic, topped with the scene of two people masturbating to each other, now thats even a hotter view.
“Binnie!”
“Go ahead, baby... cum”
And just like that, I let out a squeal as I reached my peak, still playing with myself until I sensed an overstimulation. Not too long after, I was hearing a lot of grunt from the call and then I looked at Changbin, who ended up cumming onto his stomach, his chest raising up and down, letting himself catch his breath. Still out of breath, we both looked at each other, we both laughed at our fucked out state.
“Holy fuck, was that hot?” Changbin commented, taking the phone, putting it out of his speaker and back to his ear. I laughed at his sudden remark, nodding, “oh yeah, can’t wait to feel what you feel like,” I bit my lip.
”At least buy me dinner first,” He teased, referring to the remark I had at the time, which made me roll my eyes and him to chuckle. “You’re a dick,” I said.
”A big one, and a pretty one according to you,” He teased again. I started to jokingly groan at his words, causing him to laugh, “alright, alright, I’ll stop.”
I got up and picked the phone, looking at him, “I had fun, we should do this again,” him and I started exchanging a smile, this time it was more pure than the smiles we had earlier. He nodded, “for sure, but the next time is going to be in one of our beds, I really need to touch you.”
”The feeling is mutual.”
We began to talk a little more, until we both have felt that slumber was starting to sneak up onto our eyes. We both ultimately had to hang up, since we don’t want to raise our phone bills with our already long call. While facing away from the window, I couldn’t help but started admire Changbin in my head.
I typically hate men, but Changbin wasn’t just like any man.
He was Changbin, and I highly doubt that you’ll ever find a man like him.
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horansqueen · 3 years ago
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Headlines - Chapter 10
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Story Masterlist ✨
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❤  chapter 1 ❤ chapter 2 ❤ chapter 3 ❤ chapter 4 ❤ chapter 5  ❤ chapter 6 ❤ chapter 7  ❤ chapter 8  ❤ chapter 9 ❤
NOTES  ❤
❤ written from both Niall and Ophélie’s POVs ❤ i don’t proofread, I never do, I hate it. ❤ OU comedy/fluff/smut/romance ❤ 3k ❤ i accept requests and ideas for this story, so message me in my inbox! ❤ if you want to be notified when this story is updated (or be taken off the update list) CLICK HERE
Ophélie
I had no idea what woke me up but when I opened my eyes, it was still the middle of the night. We had managed somehow to get in my bed and fell asleep together. Just the thought made me hold my breath as the realization sank in. I had let Niall Horan fuck me so roughly I could feel my skin throb at places he had bitten and the worst was that I had enjoyed it. No, the worst was actually that the simple thought of it made me feel dizzy and smile.
I blinked a few times to get used to the darkness and noticed he was sleeping on his side, his back facing me, and I pressed my lips together, bringing my hand slowly to his back.
I was still pissed at him, and the thought of getting revenge on him for bringing me to my ex boyfriend's exhibit was still an idea that I cherished, but I couldn't pretend I didn't enjoy having him in my bed.
His body heat reached my cold skin even if we were not touching and when one of my fingertips brushed against his shoulder, I held my breath. He didn't move and I exhaled slowly in relief, letting my finger travel very slowly on his skin. I was in bed with Niall Horan, and despite the fact that I pretty much hated him, I felt some special excitement making my stomach twist. It was the first time I wanted to slap someone as much as I wanted to kiss them and it was fucking troubling to the point where I wanted him to suffer... but not tonight. Not at that moment, in the middle of the night, as we both laid down in my bed, in complete silence. In fact, if I didn't stop myself, I would let my mouth run on his neck and down his back. I wanted to feel the warmth of his skin brush against my lips so bad that it scared me. I moved slightly and slowly closer, placing my head gently on the same pillow he was using, and I closed my eyes when I felt my chest press a bit against his back.
I felt him move a bit and he groaned low, turning around in bed as my heart jumped in my chest. I moved away slightly and looked at him as his eyes fluttered open but still remained half-closed. He was pretty, so fucking pretty, and I hated that he was pretty.
"You awake, petal?"
I wanted to tell him he didn't have the right to call me that when we were not out in public, and that it was way too intimate for me, but we literally fucked in a way I never let anyone fuck me, and telling him a sweet nickname was too much seemed futile at that point.
"Mmhm."
His eyes met mine and my lips parted as his curled a bit but after about a minute, his smile fell. He brought his hand to my cheek and two of his fingers caressed it gently.
"Do you regret it?"
I felt my whole body throb at his words and even if I wanted to tell him that it was the last thing I would ever regret, I didn't.
"Why did you bring me to that exhibit, Niall?" I just asked, ignoring his question. "You knew James was my ex boyfriend, didn't you? So why?"
He seemed to hesitate but he finally sighed and closed his eyes before opening them again and looking into mine. "I wanted you to know how it felt. I wanted you to know how you've made me feel for weeks, now."
I was torn between being pissed and feeling guilty. He had no idea what had really happened between James and I, but at the same time, I knew how mean I had been to him and I sort of deserved it. I was debating on what exactly I should answer him when he kept talking.
"Look, Ophélie, I'm sorry." he let out sincerely, licking his lips. "What did this guy say to you? Why did you just storm out?"
I was pretty sure that in other circumstances, I wouldn't say anything. If we were not laying naked in the dark together, I probably would tell him to mind his business, but this was different. It felt a bit unreal, like we were in an other dimension, or totally alone on the planet. Somehow, I wanted to open up, and I had no idea why. Perhaps I would regret it in the morning but I didn't want to think about it now.
"I saw he exposed pictures of me, and it made me angry."
I could see him frown even in the dark and I suddenly felt uncomfortable.
"I didn't see any pictures of you."
"You just didn't recognize me, he didn't show my face but... Let's say I didn't really have clothes on."
His lips parted in surprise and I held my breath.
"He.. he exposed nudes of you?"
I chucked without amusement and shook my head slightly. "He calls it 'art'." I explained, rolling my eyes. "But he didn't ask me before exposing them and it pissed me off. That's why I ran out."
"Can he.. Can he even do that?"
"I could sue him but imagine the headlines it would make, you know?" I sighed, leaning my head against my hand, my elbow against the mattress. "Plus it would give him exposure, and everyone would see me naked. I would probably be blamed for it, too."
He stared at me in silence, and his gaze was so intense I felt my heart threaten to jump out of my throat. I couldn't move. All I could do was stare back at him, not really knowing what to do, until he moved his head up quickly. I felt his hand slide on my head and hold it from the back, his fingers slipping in my hair, before his lips pressed against mine.
I was shocked for half a second but when his lips moved against mine, I immediately relaxed. His fingers gripped my hair a bit harder and my hand reached for his wrist as I grabbed it tight, my nails digging slightly in his skin.
I didn't feel angry anymore, and I didn't want him to be rough with me. The truth was, I loved feeling his mouth against mine and I didn't want him to stop. I loved how sweet and gentle he was, contrasting completely with the way we had fucked only a few hours before. I was discovering an other part of him, a part I didn't know, or maybe a part I never wanted to see.
"I'm sorry I brought you there." he whispered, allowing his lips to leave mine for only a second.
I didn't answer him. Instead, I kissed him back harder, tasting him again and after a few seconds, I bet his bottom lip a bit too hard. He wanted to be gentle, but I was scared of what could happen between us if we went too far. I felt his arm wrap around me as he groaned, pulling away slightly again.
"Don't bite, petal. You don't want to reenact what happened last night, right?"
His arm wrapped around me and pulled me closer as his warm body pressed against mine. I couldn't remember the last time I was naked and making out with someone like that and I liked it a lot more than I wanted to admit. It was not him, it could have been anyone. Right?
"Niall, wait" I told him a bit too loud as his lips reached my neck.
He pulled away to look in my eyes and suddenly, what I wanted to tell him was stuck in my throat. I swallowed and my lips finally parted as he raised his eyebrows.
"I think... I think you should leave."
He looked confused for a few seconds and ended up frowning at me. "Are you serious? You want me to leave in the middle of the night?"
"Niall, we had sex! we're sleeping in the same bed! And we were about to fuck again!"
He shook his head slightly, frowning even more. Even like that, he looked cute. "I know, I was there!"
"This is just PR, Niall. This relationship is not real! We were not supposed to have sex I mean..." I closed my eyes and shook my head. "This is just fucking crazy."
"You're right, this is fucking insane."
Silence came between us and after half a minute, I dared to open my eyes again. He stared at me, his eyes roaming on my face softly, until his expression became serious.
"You know what, this clearly was a mistake." he let out, shrugging a shoulder. "I'm just gonna leave, and we can pretend this never happened."
I felt my heart jump in my chest and my lips parted, but I was not sure why. After all, wasn't it what I had just asked him to do? Wasn't it exactly what I wanted?
Niall
I couldn't pretend her reaction didn't surprise me but at the same time, I was not sure what I had expected. Ophélie had hated me since the first minute we met and I was not fond of her either. It was true, we had shared something the night before but it was something rough, almost dangerous, I just didn't realize how bad yet.
I got up from the bed and walked to the living room to grab my clothes. I could feel her presence near and I knew she had followed me, but when I glanced back to look at her, I noticed she had wrapped a blanket around herself. I felt suddenly a bit disappointed, and I hated myself for hoping to see her naked again in such a situation. I found my boxers and put them on before doing the same with my pants and when I turned around to look at her again, she was nibbling on her bottom lip. Her hair was a mess and I could only imagine mine was almost just as bad. She moved her chin to my left and I turned around to see my shirt, quickly grabbing it and putting it on.
I didn't really want to leave, and it was not only because I didn't want to drive back home in the middle of the night. There was something else, a well hidden reason that I didn't want to decipher for now. I was pissed at her for throwing me out and I was pissed at myself for being so weak. I found my phone that had probably fell out of my pocket when we had sex and finally sighed, turning again to face her.
"I'll pick you up tomorrow. I've got a few more places we could visit." I proposed softly, making her nod. "Don't worry, there won't be anyone from your past, I promise."
"And I promise I won't be a bitch." she added before her lips curled slightly on the left and her nose raised up. "Well, I promise I won't be a complete bitch."
I chuckled gently and nodded too. "Okay. Good night Ophélie."
I stared at her as she tilted her head and smiled in a way she had never smiled at me in private. "Good night, Niall."
I woke up and turned around in bed with a groan, stretching my arm and realizing I was alone in bed. It took me a few minutes to remember what had happened the night before and an other few to make sure it was not just a dream.
I quickly got up, took a shower and made coffee but it's only when I sat at the table to eat my toasts by myself in complete silence that I realized something was missing. I loved being alone, that much was true, or at least, it used to be... Perhaps I could use a little company these days.
I sighed, checking my phone and realizing Ophélie hadn't messaged me at all. I was not really surprised but I hated that I was disappointed. I was a bit confused about the feelings inside me, especially now that I had gotten revenge, but I knew I had to focus on this fake relationship and make sure it would work, and I was pretty sure Ophélie was right about one thing : having sex together could only ruin this PR stunt.
I searched for both our names on google and groaned when the most recent article appeared. The headline was horrible and I hit myself mentally for not insisting on staying at Ophélie's place the night before.
'Leaving in the middle of the night? Did Niall Horan run away from girlfriend?'
Of course, it was the first thing they thought about, and I had to admit it was not common behavior. It had happened a few times that I would leave a girl's house in the morning but when it was still dark? It was definitely a first. I shook my head, looking at a picture of myself, running down the stairs of Ophélie's building, and closed my eyes, debating whether or not I should tell my fake girlfriend about it. I finally gave in and sent her the link, waiting a few minutes for her answer, staring at my screen. She didn't say anything, leaving me on 'read', and I just shook my head before getting ready quickly and texting her when I was going to pick her up.
I couldn't pretend it wasn't awkward when she sat next to me in my car and I just looked at her as she put her seatbelt. She looked up at me with a smile, moving her sunglasses up on her head and raised her eyebrows at me.
"Where are you taking me?"
I was not sure if she was faking or not and if I wanted to be honest, this whole thing was literally messing with my head.
"Uhm, I was thinking we could play tourists and check the walk of fame."
Her eyes got bigger and her lips curled even more as I sent her an amused smile. "Yes! Oh my god, you need to take a picture of me next to Susan Sarandon's star!"
"Is she... your favorite actress or something?"
Her jaw dropped and her lips parted before she slapped my thigh gently. "Are you kidding me? She's only the greatest actress of all time!" she let out with passion. "I've seen all her movies, I've been a fan since I was a kid! Susan Sarandon is the most talented person in Hollywood! It's my dream to make a movie with her, someday."
I smiled more at her, a bit amazed that she would open up to me like that. Fucking finally.
"I'm sure it'll happen, petal." I let out softly. "You're talented enough for that."
Her lips parted again in surprise and my gaze fell on her mouth. I knew it was a habit she had but it's only at that exact moment that I realized she always did that when I said something nice to her, as if she wasn't expecting any kind word or gesture from me ever, despite me doing it a few times before.
"Oh, well, thank you."
"You're welcome." Silence came between us and I cleared my throat after a few minutes. "So, maybe I could go with you on set some time this week? Be a good boyfriend and just, you know, watch you act."
She was not answering and I dared glancing at her again  before looking back at the road.
"Sure, why not." she replied very low, looking suddenly uncomfortable.
It made me frown and I just shrugged a shoulder. "If you'd rather not, it's okay, you know."
"No, It's cool I mean, that's what Hollywood couples do, right?"
When I parked, she undid her belt and without thinking, I turned to her, grabbing her arm gently before she would get out of the car. The contact of her skin against mine reminded me of the sounds she made when my hands traveled on her body the night before and I swallowed hard. I felt like I hadn't gotten enough of her, and I hated it.
"Hey, you didn't say anything about the link I sent you earlier."
She leaned her back against the seat and sighed, turning her head to me and licked her lips. "I just didn't know what to say." she explained, shrugging slowly. "It's my fault this article appeared, I shouldn't have thrown you out in the middle of the night. I'm just a bit pissed they assumed you ditched me when I was the one telling you to leave. I hate how they expect you to break my heart sooner or later."
I had a few words almost escape my lips but I swallowed them again. "I know, I have to admit that I hate being seen as the bad guy in the story."
"And I hate being portrayed as the weak obsessed girlfriend."
I nodded and sent her a sad smile. "Clearly, they know nothing about us."
Her smile came back slowly and she nodded too. "Nothing at all."
I knew that soon, we would start hating each other again. I knew that in a very near future, she'd end up annoying me, and she would even probably try to get revenge for the fact that I brought her to her ex boyfriend's exhibit... but at that exact moment, in my car, I wanted to go back to the night before and somehow, I was totally certain she felt exactly the same.
"Are you acting right now, Ophélie?" I asked in a whisper.
"Maybe, maybe not." she replied, tilting her head with a small smile.
"How do I know when you act and when you're sincere?"
This time, she chuckled and raised her eyebrows, clearly amused.
"You don't."
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blinderspeaky · 5 years ago
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Amoret | Tommy Shelby
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A/n: So this is my first piece of writing here and I apologise if it's too long! idk how accurate this is but I had fun writing it so that's all that matters I guess
Cora is going through a dry spell because everyone is too scared to make a move on her because of her best friend, Thomas Shelby, so he takes matters into his own hands -- literally.
Word count: 23,450
"I can't believe you did that." I flirtatiously giggle as if I didn't have to scrub my hands raw to get rid of the blood from the gory mess that happened just a few hours prior.
"I needed to get out somehow, I just didn't realise I was trashing hundreds of pounds worth of art." The handsome stranger laughs, leaning into me as we get more familiar and comfortable with each other.
"Terrible, just terrible." I smile fondly, my red lipstick gleaming at him as I fiddle with my fruity cocktail.
"I must say, you have the most gorgeous smile, if I knew how to paint I'd never run out of inspiration as long as you're around." The man charms and I have to suppress an eye roll.
What does a girl have to do to just get a bit of pleasure round here?
I'm not here to be charmed, I'm here for a fun time.
"Thank you, you really know how to charm a girl." I say, crossing my leg over the other, so that my leg is in between his legs from where he's sat on the bar stool.
"Only the pretty ones." He replies, pushing the little curled bits of hair framing my face behind my ear-- the rest of my hair is placed in a delicate low bun, pinned back with expensive pins. He rubs his knuckles against my cutting cheek bone, seemingly admiring my face. "It's unfair how beautiful you are."
"What are you gonna do? Kiss me about it?" I make the first move.
He smirks. 
"Thinking about it."
His eyes flicker between my eyes and my lips, and he's about to lean in when a voice interrupts.
"Cora." Tommy says as he walks up to us. "I'm going to head back to my office, I'll see you later to finish business, alright?"
"Yeah, just you?" I question, staring up at my best friend.
"Yeah, Arthur's pissed in the back room, thought I'd let you know, but everyone is still here." Tommy answers, giving my shoulder a squeeze.
"See yous." I sing, ready to turn back to my entertainment tonight.
"Bye." Tommy says and gives the handsome stranger a once over before leaning down to say something into my ear. I'm used to his teasing and he's used to my punches after, so I let out a huff, ready to hear what he has to say this time. "Careful, I've heard this one bites."
I look into his eyes with an annoyed look. "That's why I'm here."
Tommy lets out a quiet chuckle before wordlessly leaving the building, leaving me with the pretty boy.
Looking back at the stranger, I'm startled to find him wide eyed and inching away from me by the second.
"What?" I ask, taking a sip from my drink.
"That was... that was Thomas Shelby." He says, frozen.
"So?" I lift a perfectly arched eyebrow.
"He's a Peaky Blinder."
"So am I, yet you've been talking to me just fine." I state, knowing where this is going; this has happened way too many times recently.
People know of me but most people couldn't put a face to my name, which is why this happens a lot. I'm ready for the onslaught of rejection and a hint of terror.
"You're a Peaky Blinder?" He utters as if he can't believe it.
I nod.
"I've gotta, uh, go, have a nice evening but I must get going." He says and quickly gets off his stool to rush out of the room, practically tripping over his own feet.
Letting out a huff, I finish my drink before hopping off my stool to join everyone in the back room, everyone is more or less smashed, a slur of half hearted cheers go around room when I enter and it makes me smile. I sit down next to Finn, who offers me a cigarette, which I accept and light it up, tilting my head towards the ceiling showcasing the thin, long scar on my throat, I blow the smoke out, watching it billow towards the ceiling.
"Why are men so scared of me and Tommy?" I grumble.
"Because they know if they fuck up, either of you will rip their spleen out, darling." Polly comments, her slender fingers twitching her cigarette to drop off the ash. "Individually or together, doesn't matter." She adds.
"Match made in heaven... or hell, depends how you look at it." Michael states before downing his drink.
"How do you do it?" I ask Polly, taking a drag of my cigarette.
"Well, for starters, I'm not as ruthless as you and I guess I'm not attached to the hip with Thomas." She replies nonchalantly.
"What you need to do, right, Cora, is find a man who is handsome and can take a good punch." Arthur tells me and I raise an eyebrow at him. "Because whoever it is, he's gonna get punched by someone you know and by punched I mean shot."
"No one is bulletproof, Arthur." I say, not taking on his drunk advice.
"I am." John laughs.
"No, no you're fucking not." Finn retorts.
"How do girls not get scared of you guys?" I question, fiddling with my necklace. "On an extremely good day you guys can look intimidating and scary, how do you get girls?"
They all scoff at my teasing.
"Fuck off, alright." Arthur grumbles, knocking back another glass.
"The girls like the thrill. They come from a very traditional family and want a part of the danger but they also think they can change us." John answers my question seriously.
"Never fucking works though, does it?" Finn barks a laugh, nudging John.
We continue to chat for a while before I get bored and I'm still slightly pissed off about earlier, so I say my goodbyes not that anyone's really listening, too drunk to function so I slip out and step out into the brisk chilly streets of Birmingham.
Twisting and turning until I get to my destination, I open the door with the key I've had for literal years and brush my shoes off before stepping inside, closing the door behind me.
Making my way through the room, I wordlessly open Tommy's office, finding him sat at his desk going through paper work, cigarette in hand; he looks up, dropping his pen but goes back to his work.
"You're here earlier than I thought." He states, his tone light.
I huff, mad at him although I know it's not his fault.
"Same." I reply tightly, throwing my bag down into the little seating area in the corner of his office before I sit down in the chair opposite him.
"You don't have to be here, I can do this on my own, you know. I'm not forcing you to be here." Tommy replies in a sincere voice, taking a drag of his cigarette.
"I know, but no one wants me out there." I counteract, leaning back in my chair, a sour look on my face.
Tommy looks like he wants to ask but decides against it; he knows when I'll come around.
"Right, uh... so I talked to some connections and they said they know about the plans but are refusing to tell me any details, and I'm debating with either paying them a visit or selling their information." Tommy informs and just like that I'm back into business mode again, forgetting about my interaction from earlier.
Then we talk about business, business plans, plans for the future, and just random things whilst having a laugh.
As things are winding down, Tommy gets up to grab a drink from his own bar cart that he has in his office.
"Do you want one?" Tommy offers, looking over his shoulder at me.
"Sure." I accept and he gets another glass out, beginning to pour our drinks. I sink into my chair, rubbing my eyes as I let out a groan. I'm still bothered about earlier.
That guy just rubbed me the wrong way, it's happened plenty of times before tonight; I'm best friends with one the most notoriously dangerous person in the midlands, I guess tonight was just my breaking point.
If I saw him again, I wouldn't hesitate to send a few promises to him.
"Fuck, how come you can be a manwhore but I can't even get a single person to be interested in me for more than 20 minutes?" I question, accepting my glass from Tommy when he approaches me.
"Long enough to get the job done though." Tommy jokes, sitting down in the chair next to me, our feet hovering above one another where our legs are crossed. "I think it's a little thing called misogyny."
"Little thing my ass." I bitterly chuckle, taking a sip. "You're at fault for all this, by the way."
"The fuck did I do?" He asks with a light laugh, before taking a sip of his drink.
"You're the reason all these people get scared to either even approach me or go any further than some harmless flirting." I explain, tucking some hair behind my ear as I send him a look that only widens his smirk.
"Not my fault people are so delirious with terror when it comes to me." Tommy shrugs, placing his glass on the table beside his chair and he laughs at my disbelief.
"Yeah, because you definitely didn't put on a show at the garrison last month that we're still finding blood from." I roll my eyes fondly.
"Got to show my enemies what I'm capable of." Thomas brushes my words off. "And hey, it's not like you're innocent yourself. Didn't you destroy a guy's face so much they the police couldn't even identify him just a few days ago?" He teases, licking his lips.
"No, doesn't ring any bells." I shake my head.
"Funny, maybe that's why men are scared of you and won't approach you. I for one, am absolutely terrified of you." Tommy states, making me laugh knowing that's he's only half joking.
"Most people can't put name to my face so they generally don't know me, therefore it's your fault." I tell him, placing my drink on the matching side table next to me.
"Really?" He sighs
"Yes! Just earlier tonight I was talking to some guy and then you came along, Mr. I will cut someones ears off if they look at me, and you scared the bejeezus out of him, turned him into a puddle of foolery. Then I told him I'm connected to you and he freaked the fuck out, made an excuse to leave and he practically tripped over his own feet to get away from me." I reply grumpily, sitting up in my chair.
"Are you done?" Tommy asks, sending me a look.
"No, no I'm fucking not. I've not had sex in like 2 months, do you even know what that feels like? Most of the time it's not even me, it's you that scares them off!" I answer exasperated, watching him down the rest of his drink, placing the empty glass back on the table.
"No, I don't, actually. Why don't you just go outside of Birmingham for a fuck?" Tommy suggests, leaning forward on his knees.
"Fuck you. Mate, I've fucking tried and if we weren't literally sewn together that might work but everywhere I am, you are, vice versa. It's also such a faff to go all the way out or Birmingham for some dick that's probably mediocre. You ju---"
I'm cut off from my rant by Tommy's lips on mine.
I'm so confused and stunned by his actions that I don't know how to react. Freezing, I just sit there for a moment before I decide to kiss him back for a few moments before I pull back sort of abruptly, not in a big deal.
"What are you doing?" I question, searching his crystal clear blue eyes that are mere inches away from my face.
"If everyone else is so scared of me that they can't approach you, may as well take matters into my own hands." Thomas explains, and he gingerly cups my cheek, his thumb brushing over my cheekbone, his eyes soft.
I lean in closer to him, thinking over how this could play out, what it would do to our years long friendship.
It's no secret that we find each other attractive, we've said it to each other and everyone around us, but I can honestly say that nothing has ever happened between us. Two best friends that have expressed our admiration for each other.
I don't know if I want to ruin that.
Our friendship is incredibly strong and personal, I don't know if one steamy night could just throw that away.
My desire acts on it's own and as Tommy is searching my green eyes, I close the gap between us, moving in perfect sync with each other as I play with his hair and he squeezes my waist.
It's like I'm slipping into a trance and all I can think of is Tommy, I'm consumed with all things Tommy. This moment right now is making me feel lighter than air, I've got sparks on my stomach at how he's making me feel.
The burning need to be closer is killing me and it seems like Tommy is feeling the same as he uncups my cheek and places his hands on my waist, pulling me onto his lap.
Thomas agonizingly slowly trails his hand up my thigh, his fingertips grazing my exposed skin where my dress has risen up, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. Tommy's hand comes in contact with the pocket knife stuffed into my stocking and he pulls away slightly, letting out a low throaty chuckle, "Classic Cora." He mumbles against my mouth, making me smile, and he pulls deadly weapon from my stocking, placing it on the table beside him. Giving my hip a momentary squeeze, Tommy swipes his tongue against my lip asking for entrance, parting my lips, his tongue meets mine and he begins to explore my mouth, seeing what gets a reaction from me.
His fingers find my precariously placed tied up hair, pulling the few pins out and then the hair tie, sending my thick, dark brown almost black curls cascading down my back, causing Tommy to let out a sound of appreciation and bury his fingers into my hair.
I don't usually have my hair down as it's easy to grab on to and it just feels more professional to have it up. I've also got so much of it that it gets in the way when I'm trying to work.
Disconnecting from Tommy I attach my mouth to his neck, leaving my mark. Tommy tilts his head, giving me space to find his sweet spot and he lets out a nice little moan as I set to work.
The pending feeling of his hand trailing my thigh is overwhelming and his fingertips approaching where I need him the most makes me pause, my bottom lip dragging up the skin of his neck.
"Do you want me to stop?" Thomas whispers into my ear, his pursed lips tugging at my earlobe.
"Fuck no." I consent, and his hand meets my underwear.
Beginning to confidently rub me through my underwear, I let out a shaky breath against Tommy's neck and I instinctively open my legs wider for him. His touch is as light as a feather, desperate for more friction, I grind on his fingers letting out a moan.
"Mm, sound so good for me." Tommy rasps, his teeth grazing the skin on my prominent collarbone. Moving my fancy lacy underwear to the side, without hesitation Tommy runs his fingers through my folds, collecting my wetness and bringing it up to my clit.
All I can do is bite my lip to conceal my moans.
Trailing my hand down his front until I meet is trousers and I begin to palm is growing semi, which makes him let out a groan.
I declare that as my favourite sound.
Suddenly in one swift motion, I'm moved off of Tommy's lap and placed right on the edge of his hardwood desk and he's standing right in front of me, his gorgeous blue eyes blown out, looking at me as if I were the only person in world, and he's hungry.
"You're really pretty." Tommy utters.
Before I can reply, Thomas captures my lips again in another sensual kiss that's full of tongue, noises of appreciation, and hands are roaming as we keep involuntarily grinding against each other.
Pushing his suit jacket off and watching it drop to the floor, Tommy's hands find the back of my dress, making quick work of undoing the expensive fabric, and pulling it off of me, leaving me in my lingerie that I definitely didn't plan on letting my best friend see tonight whilst he's in his trousers, crisp white shirt, and extortionate looking waistcoat.
"Wow." My best friend says, slightly out of breath, taking in my figure and how off guard and innocent I look.
Unlike the brutally violent and devious businesswoman I am.
"Unbelievable."
"Shut up and touch me." I chuckle bashfully, weirded out at how special he's making me feel.
I feel extremely exposed but in a weird way, I kind of like it.
Tommy smiles fondly and presses a series of short kisses to my mouth before I take hold of his lip, flicking my tongue against him, causing him to tighten his grip on me.
Disconnecting, Thomas kisses down my neck, leaving a mark or two on his way down, until he gets to my chest and I arch into him. Kissing my cleavage as he cups my right boob, his lips trail down my torso, leaving a trail of fire behind him.
Dropping down to his knees, Tommy takes hold of my hips pressing a gentle kiss below my belly button before he snaps open my garter one by one and effortlessly drags my stockings down my legs.
Grazing up my legs with his hands or mouth, Tommy after what feels like years pulls my panties down, throwing them out of sight, I watch as his eyes light up and if possible I feel even more exposed.
Flicking his eyes up to me, looking like he's asking for my consent, I brush my fingers through his hair and give him a subtle nod.
Burying his head between my thigh, Tommy licks a strip up my heat, making me let out a moan, and bury my fingers into his thick hair.
Leaning back onto his desk, Tommy pushes my thighs apart so he can get better access as he attaches his mouth so my core, sending me to all sorts of heaven.
"Fuck, Tommy." I whine, tugging at his hair as I arch my back.
"Let it out, we're here alone, scream my name, let me hear how much you want me." Tommy urges with a slight smirk.
Without any warning, Tommy pumps a finger into me and I conform to his wishes at that, not caring how loud I was being, I let his name fall from my lips along with my moans.
My legs shudder under his hand, he lapped at me as if I were his last meal, reveling in the sounds I was making, the sounds he was earning.
I was close and we both knew that, so Tommy speeds up his movements and adds another finger inside of me, curling up.
"Fuck, oh my god, Tommy, don't stop." I pant, tugging at his hair.
Tommy had me withering in moments, my fingers tugging at his hair which made him groan, only adding to the pleasure he was giving me.
"Fuck, I'm gonna---" I began which only spurred Thomas on, he sucked harder and pumped his fingers faster. My breathing hitched and shaky, breathy, and loud sounds left my lips as I clenched around him, my body shuddering from the orgasm he'd worked out of me.
He continues his motions making sure I'm done, then pulls his fingers out, standing up right, brushing some hair out of my face.
"Such a pretty girl." He whispers, eyeing my lips.
Tommy's thumb runs over my bottom lip and I open my mouth, he brings his fingers that were inside of me to my lips, and I stick my tongue out and he inserts his finger into mouth, letting me suck my juices off of his fingers; his eyes seemingly in a trance at how my mouth is working.
"Mm, just like that." He whispers.
Standing up to my full height, I guide Tommy to swap places with me and he's very much willing to do so, peppering kisses to his jaw before dropping to my knees, I innocently look up at him through my lashes, loving how he's so aware of all my movements and how he's like putty in my hands.
"May I?" I raise an eyebrow, digging my fingertips under his belt.
Tommy leans down and cups my jaw, pressing a deep kiss to my lips. "Of course." I grin in delight and snatch a quick kiss as he begins to retreat.
Undoing his belt, I take that off and throw it away before undoing his button and pulling down his zipper. Palming him through his undone trousers, Tommy lets out a hitched breath, it's a barely there pressure, enough to feel something but no where enough as much as he like.
"Stop teasing." He groans, bracing himself on his desk and his knuckles are milky white from how hard he's holding on to his desk.
I chuckle darkly. "Tommy, I haven't even started."
Continuing my actions mixing up my pressure and pace as he throws his head back in annoyance.
Pulling him out of his underwear letting him spring free, Thomas groans when I grab him, making my mouth water. This sight alone could give me immense pleasure.
The sight of me on my knees in front of him, him practically fully clothed with his dick out, just calling out for me to suck, all whilst in the middle of his office.
With my best friend let alone.
I would love to tease him for hours but the overwhelming urge to hear Tommy moan, moan my name and pull my hair gets the best of me.
Tightening my grip on him, I wrap my lips around his tip that's already leaking precum, sucking lightly, which makes him throw his head back in pleasure.
"So pretty, such a pretty cock." I utter, licking his entire length and wrapping my mouth around him.
"Fuck, Cora." Tommy gasps, threading his hand in my hair to keep me there, and I let out a hum, causing him to tighten his grip on my hair as he lets out an estranged moan.
Taking as much as I possibly can into my mouth, I begin to work my magic, pumping whatever I can't with my hand whilst Tommy breathes heavily and lets out his moans above me.
The sight of him with his head thrown back as he moans my name whilst he half heartedly guides me with his hand, too lost in the pleasure to properly commits to it, is ingrained in my mind.
We're completely lost in the moment, right now it's just him and I, there's nothing else in our mind except lust and each other, and I'm alright with that.
"Oh my... fuck, I can't l---" Tommy cuts his pleasured rambling off and lets out a large breath before pulling me off of him. "I wanna finish inside of you." Tommy states breathlessly.
I wordlessly stand up, more than willing to conform to his needs and begin to undress him, his hands pulling off his clothes as fast as he can until he's completely stark naked in the middle of his office with his best friend.
Realising I've still got my bra on, I undo the back and pull the straps down, watching it fall the floor.
Tommy and I stand in front of each other, completely enamoured with each other, feeling extremely exposed but I like it.
"Gorgeous." Thomas whispers before pressing his lips to mine, gingerly holding my face in his hands.
Thomas guides me back a few steps to his desk and I prop myself upon it, as Tommy's hands roam.
Taking hold of himself, Tommy runs his tip through my dripping folds, the both of us letting out a shaky breath.
"You ready?" Tommy questions, tucking some hair behind my ears before pressing his forehead against mine.
"Mhm." I hum, running my hand down his back.
Capturing my lips in a quick kiss, Tommy lines himself up with my entrance and pushes in until he's done to the hilt.
"Fuck." We say in unison, making us breathe a chuckle.
Beginning to move his hips, Tommy buries his face in my neck, dragging his mouth wherever he pleases, exploring my skin. I hold the back of his neck, trying to stay afloat as my toes curl, and we're too far gone to care when expensive things fall from Tommy's desk.
***
"You should wear your hair down more often." Tommy tells me softly as he's propped up on his elbow looking down at me as I lie on my back, settling into the fairly large seating area Tommy has in his office.
"It's so long, it gets in the way." I pout, rubbing my eye.
"I like it." He sincerely says, picking up a lock and twirling it around his finger.
We're have gentle pillow talk without the pillows, just looking at each other in a different way as we lie in our underwear in the warm room, talking in quiet voices as if the whole world could hear us.
"I like your hair, very imaginative." I tease, combing his locks with my fingers.
"Rude." He grumbles, poking me in the side making me jerk as I let out a laugh.
"When you first get it cut it feels like velcro." I chuckle, making him grin.
"Yeah, I've just got the worst barber." Tommy smirks, playing with my fingers.
"Bitch." I laugh, ruffling his velcro like hair.
Every other Sunday Tommy sits in my kitchen letting me cut his hair as we bitch about business or just forgetting about work altogether.
"Talented at your craft but the most annoying barber I've ever met." He shakes his head, amused.
"I tell you each time, I don't mean to tickle your neck or catch your ear, it just happens." I defend myself, making him laugh.
"I don't mean to stab you, it just happens!" Tommy imitates me, making me poke him in the ribs which only makes him laugh harder. "If only people knew of your barbering skills and not your knife wielding skills, maybe they wouldn't be so scared of you."
"If only people knew of your sewing skills, they wouldn't be so scared of your gun ridden hand." I retort with a fond smile, looking up at how pretty he looks in this light, with the small matching fond smile of his face.
"Shh, or I'll tell people you are a professional at juggling." Tommy smirks, pushing some hair out of my face.
"Yeah, with knives, that's cool as fuck." I reply, passionate about my talent.
"Careful or we'll send you away to go to the circus." Tommy chuckles, pulling me in for a smiley kiss.
I've always been known to wake up really late, always the last one up, the last one to finish breakfast if at all, and always the last one out of the door in the morning. It's not that I stay out really late, I'm usually at home at a reasonable time, I cosy down in my homely home, and I just relax after the usually hectic day and yet I still wake up late.
Except today.
I wake up tangled in a mess of limbs, Tommy's arms wrapped around me and I suck in a breath, wishing on everything in the world that he doesn't wake up. Easily slipping out of his grasp, I sit on the edge of the large ottoman, rubbing my face before letting out a sigh.
I need to get dressed and be out of here before Thomas wakes up, I do not want to have the awkward conversation of the morning after.
Quickly and quietly, I put my dress back on, throw my hair up as I approach the window, pulling one of the slats down to see what it's like at this ungodly hour of 5 in the morning, the Sun is just starting to rise, highlighting the permanent haze of smoke above Birmingham.
Shoving my ankle boots on, I tug the zips up and tip toe towards the door so that my heels don't click against the wooden floors.
Closing the door behind me as silently as possible, I let out a big breath when I succeed and begin to walk out the building that I visit everyday.
I know I'm going to see Thomas again in just a few hours but hopefully we'll both be consumed in work to talk about what happened. God I hope no one will pick up on what happened.
I don't regret last night at all and I can say that with my whole chest but I also love my friendship with Tommy, and I hope one night of mind blowing, amazing sex won't ruin that.
I've no idea where we stand and that scares me.
That's my best friend, he'll always be my best friend.
Opening up the door to my house that I never got to see last night, I begin to tidy up a few things as I've got some time before I have to head into work. This is my haven, this is wear I escape work, I try not to bring business back here, this is my safe place so I have to have it clean.
Shoving an old newspaper into the bin, I begin to make a bite of breakfast and head into my bedroom whilst it cooks so I can get properly dressed.
Pulling my wardrobe open, brushing my fingers over the hangers until I find a suitable item a clothing; a navy blue dress that gives the illusion that it's off the shoulder but it's got a see through mesh-like material hanging from my shoulders with tiny multicoloured flowers embroidered into it, it's cinched at the waist but it's got a wavy extra bit of fabric above my chest, the length is slightly longer than I usually go for as it's inches shy from my ankles, whilst I usually go for just below the knee dresses but I like it.
Just about being able to do it up myself, I pick out some appropriate shoes with a tall heel as I'm surrounded by a lot of men so I hate being the shortest person in the room.
Plus Tommy is quite a bit taller than me and he always teases me for that, so I use my heel to either kick him in the shin or step on his toes.
Gently brushing through my hair to make sure it doesn't frizz up on me, I throw it up in an intricate low bun, leaving some large parts out to frame my face.
Going back downstairs to fetch my breakfast which I eat whilst I read this morning's paper, before I head out of the door.
***
"Well I'll say, this has got to be a first." Arthur laughs, leaning back in his chair as I enter the betting shop.
"Wow," Polly starts, looking at her watch bewildered. "Only 45 minutes late."
Even though I got up at the ass crack of dawn, I'm still late as I may or may not of got preoccupied with the book I've been reading recently and then I got caught up chatting with some people on my way over here.
"I usually expect to see you at around 10 or 11." John smirks, taking his cigar out of his mouth.
"What can I say? Don't get used to it." I say, my eyes flickering towards Tommy's office where he seems to be as of now and I can't help by think about last night.
"It's almost as if you're acting professional and playing by the rules." Polly sarcastically replies, hovering above Arthur.
"Never." I shake my head, placing my bag on my desk then hanging my long coat on the coat hanger.
"Tommy's in a bad mood, so watch out." John jokes, swinging in his chair.
"Really?" I raise an eyebrow, looking at him.
"Well, he's not really in any mood, he's just brooding in silence and doesn't want to interact or talk to anyone." Polly rolls her eyes,making her way over to her own work station. "Maybe you can sort him out." She adds, with a small smile.
Doubt it.
"I've gotta get my forms so I have to interact with him." I huff and brace myself as I open the door to his office, I've never knocked before so I'm not gonna start now.
"Good morning." Michael greets me, sitting in the chair that Tommy kissed me in.
"Morning." I say back, my eyes flicking up to Tommy who's not taking his eyes off of his work in front of him.
"Do you even know what this time of day looks like?" Michael teases, and I roll my eyes.
"Don't worry, Michael, she's been up for hours, I'm sure Cora loves the sunrise." Tommy states before I can even think of replying to Michael.
I glare at him as he leans back in his chair, lighting up his cigarette not even looking at me.
If he wants to be hostile, I can always beat him at that.
"Practically pulled an all nighter, was busy with a piece of work." I tell Michael but my words are aimed at Tommy, and I'm right because Tommy can be a piece of work when he wants to be.
Tommy just exhales his smoke and looks at me devoid of any emotion as I refuse to look at him.
"Should've asked for a hand, I'd of been more than willing." Michael says, completely oblivious to Tommy and I's quips.
"No, couldn't do that to you." I wave him off. "Anyway, I only came in here to get my forms." I say, finally looking at Tommy in the eyes, waiting for him to give them to me as they're in his drawer.
He just stares at me, his cigarette burning in his hand, seeming like there's a million words in his head that he wants to say yet absolutely thoughtless at the same time.
"Run along then, Michael." Tommy says as he hands Michael a file, which Michael wordlessly takes and exits the room.
Letting out a huff, I walk around his desk and crouch down next to him to open his bottom drawer.
"You're a twat, Tom." I grumble, grabbing the wad and standing up.
"No what you were saying la---" Tommy gets cut off by me slamming the stupid forms on his desk and the grabbing his own gun from his holster and pressing it below his jaw as I hold his throat, pushing him back in his chair.
"Finish that sentence, I dare you." I prompt him, looking at his slightly taken aback eyes. "You know I'll do it."
He stays silent, clearly picking up on my vibe.
Putting pressure on my hands one last time before throwing his gun into his lap, gathering what I came in here for and leaving his office.
Tommy and I bicker all the time, disagree on extremely menial stuff but we only properly argue very occasionally but we always come around in the end because despite everything we love each other but god can we get on each other's nerves.
Not that I'd call that an argument, that was just a warning.
"We knew you weren't a morning person but fuck Tommy must've pissed you right off." Arthur laughs, as he chalks some stuff up on the big blackboard.
"More than you'll ever know." I grumble, and begin to get to work.
***
As the Sun sets, people start clearing out of the building as they finish their work, singing or grumbling a goodbye over their shoulder as they go home to their family or lonesome house. I could only dream of clocking out as I've still got a load of work to do and not even the kind I like, it's all admin and menial things that need to be done but I wouldn't consider it fun by any means.
It's kind of nice in a funny sort of way, it's dark outside and the lights are on illuminating the room with a soft glow, there's a slight patter of rain on the windows and it's just relaxing and quiet.
It's giving me a moment with my mind to think things over as I pretty much work on autopilot.
I know Tommy is still here, I can see him through the glass doors to his office, clearing extremely concentrated on whatever he's doing; I wonder if his mind keeps drifting back to what we did on his desk just last night.
I don't what to say to him, he's giving me the cold shoulder, refuses to talk to me unless it's necessary, and I just don't know where we stand. I don't know what I want to come from last night, I'm really happy with where we are right now and although I had - arguably - the best sex of my life last night, not much can come between our friendship.
I felt something that night, Tommy made me feel so special and like I was the most important person in the world to him, and I couldn't deny that those feelings.
Letting out a sigh, I drop my pen and grab a cigarette, placing it between my lips before I search for my matches. Striking a match, I tilt my head back and as I'm bringing the flame to my cigarette my eyes catch Tommy leaning against the doorway to his office, staring at me.
I pause for a moment before lighting my cigarette and waving the match out as I exhale.
"You look really pretty when you concentrate." Tommy states and if there were another person in here I don't think I would of been able to hear him.
"I don't do it often so you're welcome." I reply, never one to take compliments. "But thanks." I bashfully add.
"We both know that's not true." Tommy smiles ever so slightly.
"You look really pretty when you smile." I reply, taking a drag from my cigarette.
Tommy steps down the few steps and approaches me.
"Cora... what's going on?" Tommy asks, turning the chair beside me around so he can sit on it backwards, his arms folded on the backrest.
I look down, not sure what to say or where to look or how to react.
"I don't... I don't know." I say quietly, almost ashamed to admit. I'm always in control of a situation, I know the ins and outs but this time I have no idea where I stand, what's going on and I'm definitely not in control; neither of us are.
"Do you regret it?" He questions and I look at him properly.
"No, I don't. I can honestly say that I don't regret it." I answer sincerely, and a shimmer of relief speeds across his eyes. "Do you?"
"No. It was great and you don't regret great things." Tommy replies after a few moments, watching me stub out my cigarette. "But... I was hurt that you left before I woke up." He hesitantly adds, as if he doesn't know how to put his words together.
Neither do I.
Looking around the room as I try to gather my words, I can feel his bright blue eyes boring into my side and its quite unnerving.
"I didn't know what to say to you. Tommy, you're my best friend, you have been since year 9, we've gone through so much together and I can always rely on you ---you've always just been my best friend. Then suddenly when I get rejected by some twat who's scared of either women in general or the fact that you are my best friend and you decide to kiss me and then things escalate, things change. For good or for bad I don't know." I try to just put some of my thoughts into words.
"You could've left a note, woke me up if you really needed to go, silently got dressed with me and then we parted ways, anything... anything other than wordlessly leaving. Everything stopped, I slept a full night, I didn't have any messy dreams, I woke up rested, then when I saw you weren't there with me, none of that mattered anymore." Thomas explains with a small shrug, his eyes burning for a conclusion, a cohesive answer, anything.
"Only because you had company, female company no doubt." I state, sending him a tired look. His face is illuminated by the standing lamp behind me, highlighting his slight frustration, hurt, and confusion.
"No, I'm almost 100 percent sure it's not just female company. When I got back from fighting and I was having my night terrors, I'd call you up and you'd come sleep in my bed, and you'd help me fall asleep again and at least help with my dreams. When I was using you'd demand that we share a bed because you knew that I knew that you hated it. You've always helped me sleep." Tommy insists, leaning forward in his chair.
"I was just being a good friend, Tom."
"I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend or to marry me, I'm just saying I sleep better with you around. I don't know what I want to come out from this or where we stand but please promise that at the end of the day we'll always be best friends." Tommy pleads, grabbing my hand, clasping it with both of his.
"We'll always be best friends, Thomas. No matter how mad I am at you or you at me, I'll always be there for you." I assure, squeezing his hand with a small smile. "I hate not being in control, my whole life I've always been in control, had a grip on things, and just knew the ins and outs of every situation, then suddenly I don't it scares the living hell out of me, Tom. I don't know how to react."
"I'm not asking you to, I'm just as confused and lost as you are, I don't know where we stand or how to be normal again." Tommy says, his eyebrows raised. "I don't know what I want to come from this, but I know I'll always want you around."
"Same, always." I tell him, looking deep into his eyes. "I've gotta go, Tommy, I'll see you tomorrow." I lie, I've still got a load of work to do but if Tommy keeps looking at me like he is now, I'm not going to be able to make it out of here without my hair a mess.
Standing up, I push my chair back in and take a step away before Tommy says something.
"You can't keep running from your problems."
I pause, turning to look at him.
"Sorry?"
"You can't keep running away from things that you can't solve in 5 minutes." Tommy expands, looking up at me. He looks uncertain, as if he doesn't know how I'll react.
Keeping my gaze on his for a split second more before I swiftly bend down to press my lips against his, cupping his cheek. He seems surprised and stills for a moment then eagerly kisses me back, his hand also on my cheek.
We kiss for a few more moments until I pull back slightly, our faces inches away. "Watch me." I whisper, looking into his stormy sea of blue eyes, and my eyes flicker down to his lips before I stand up to my full height.
Taking a step back to make my move out of here but Tommy suddenly stands up straight and grabs my hand before I can escape and pulls me into him, immediately cupping my face with his soft hands and softly crashes his mouth to mine.
Without any hesitation I kiss him back, wrapping my arms loosely around his neck as I slowly relax into him. Tommy pulls me impossibly close to him, feeling every contort of his body, his hands steadily trail down my back as I work my mouth against his.
Once again, Tommy pulls my hair out of my hairband, letting my wild locks bounce free around my back. He buries his fingers into my curls whilst his other hand wonders, feeling my waist, hips and ass.
I press my hips against his and he leans against the nearest desk, he lets out a moan at the feeling of my hips and I take advantage of that so my tongue can get reacquainted with his.
Last time it was slow, hesitant touches, taking our time but this time it's eager, fast moving, and hungry.
I let out a moan when Tommy flicks his tongue against mine, completely lost in the moment; I can feel that I'm losing myself in him, his touch, his mouth, his mind. Disconnecting, Tommy attaches his mouth to the sensitive skin on my neck, dragging his lips up to the sweet spot below my ear.
The fast that he knows that fact sends me reeling over something so silly and simple, but it wakes me up.
Immediately I push myself off of him, taking a few shaky steps back with wide eyes. He looks shocked, his blown out eyes shining in concern, and he takes a step towards me.
"Co---"
"No." I shake my head. "We can't do this, I need to leave." I blurt out and make an exit, not bothering to pick up my coat on the way out as Tommy calls after me, but I slam the door on him, blocking out his voice that's always been comforting for me.
***
"Turns out it was just a fluke then." Polly teases, lighting up a cigarette as I enter the building.
"Seems like it." I agree, glancing at the clock, seeing it reads 10:45.
"Who's this raven haired beauty walking in?" A familiar voice asks, and I look to my left to see Ada proudly sitting on the closest desk to me.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, not being able to help the grin on my face as I approach her, pulling her into a quick hug.
"Thought I should come up as I haven't seen everyone in a while, and you even longer." Ada explains, and it's true as the last time she came up I was busy visiting my family that live down south.
"Well, it's great to see you again. Did you bring Karl?" I question, and as I'm looking at her I can't help the guilt that tugs at me as I slept with her brother just a few nights ago.
"Yeah, he's busy making a mess in Tommy's office with Finn." She answers, folding her arms.
"I'm sure he'll look forward to finding that." I smirk. "Is Tommy here by the way?" I ask curiously, hanging my bag up along with my coat, next to the coat I left here last night when I made a hasty exit.
"No, something happened at The Garrison or something and he had to go sort that out." Ada informs me, sending me a quizzical look when I let out a sigh of relief.
"Michael said someone got too rowdy and fired some shots at someone, no ones seriously hurt but Tommy went to go sort it out." Polly says, walking towards us creating a trio.
"When did your hair get so long?" Ada asks fascinated, her slender fingers coming up to grasp a few loose curls.
"I've not seen you without your hair up in what? Two years, maybe?" Polly comments, also looking at my hair.
"I just didn't have time this morning to do it, rolled out of bed, parted it and left." I tell her, running my hand through it.
"Didn't have the time? It's nearly 11 o'clock and you're only just strolling into work." Ada exclaims with a laugh.
"It took me ages to get to sleep, and I need my 8 hours." I retort, the reasons I couldn't get to sleep need to remain a secret.
Her damn brother.
"And just because you're you Tommy won't get mad. If any of us are more than 20 minutes late, Tommy will act like a child." Polly roll her eyes.
"How do you do it?" Ada asks genuinely.
Suck his dick apparently.
"I simply just show him my knife and he does whatever." I joke, with a smirk. "Hey, it's not like you have to be here at 8 or 9 on the dot, you're all founders of this company, you have just as much of say as that dumb fuck."
"True, but you can't deny that Tommy will throw a fit if we're late, where as you..."
"What can I say? Shelbys love me." I tease and leave the room.
It's just pushing 3 pm when Tommy walks into the room again, the first time I'm seeing him since I freaked out last night. It's been a busy and chaotic day so far, people coming in and out, I had to go deal with someone who wasn't paying up which got a bit messy, then I had to catch up on all the things I didn't do yesterday after leaving prematurely, and to do that with a messy head on top of that is difficult.
Tommy searches the room as he continues to walk through the room until he finds me. "You, my office." He points his finger at me and then towards his office doors.
"No?" I shake my head, quirking my eyebrows.
"It's fucking business that's all." Tommy huffs from across the room, giving me a slight glare before looking down and heading towards his office.
Pushing my chair out, I let out an even bigger huff than Tommy's and stand up, meeting him at his office doors. Our eyes flicker over each other extremely briefly before he opens his door and lets me enter first.
We both stop short at the sight of a man sitting in the chair opposite Tommy's desk.
"Who's that?" I whisper to Tommy, neither of us taking a step further.
"Mr Parsons, wants business with us." Tommy briefly tells me before moving forward. "Good afternoon, Mr Parsons."
"Ah! Good afternoon, not that good in a place like this." Mr Parsons states, looking up at Tommy as he goes to sit in his desk chair.
"Good afternoon." I greet and sit down in the chair next to him.
"Oh, a woman, a pretty woman that is." He comments with a weird smile of his face.
I send a quick look to Tommy who looks just as speechless as I am. "Thank you, business --- what can we do for you?"
Ever since I joined The Shelby Company Limited all those years ago Tommy's always asked me to join in with meetings. Not entirely sure why if I'm honest, he's always said and I quote 'you give me a level headed opinion', whatever that means.
"I need protection, I've recently moved to this shithole and I've heard that you so called Peaky Blinders are the best people for the job." Mr Parsons states, intertwining his fingers over his chest.
Tommy and I share a look at his choice of words.
"What do you need protecting?" Tommy questions, leaning back in his chair.
As Mr Parsons answers Tommy's question in his unique way of vocabulary, I take a good look at him. He's probably at the higher end of middle-aged, a full head of black hair growing white, a rather slim and tall build, well dressed, a thin greying moustache, and a sinister smile. He's not unattractive but there's something just off about his face.
"We will definitely look into that, Mr Parsons, we'll need to assess the situation ourselves first." Tommy says, gesturing with his hands.
"This pretty lady, I hope of course." He gives me a grin, and I grip the arms of the expensive chair to stop myself from showing him what I really think of him.
"No." Tommy bluntly tells him. "My brother will."
"That's a real shame." Mr Parsons sighs and looks at me as if I were his last meal on earth. "I must say, I think it's really great that you have so many women working for you."
"First of all," Tommy starts, leaning back in his chair and lights a cigarette, "They work with me, and secondly if you weren't so creepy and weird, you'd not speak of women as if they're a rare breed of dog."
Mr Parsons takes no notice of Thomas, just keeps his smile as his green eyes take me in, making my skin crawl. If the circumstances wear different and we were in a different environment I'd of either punched the guy in the face or threatened to do something worse by now, but because this is business and he could be important, I can't.
I lead forward in my chair to be closer to him despite my whole body screaming no. "You're coming on a little strong."
"That's just the way I act with beautiful women. A good one only comes around once and a while and you have to snap them up real fucking quick." He replies, with a wink, looking proud of himself.
"And you think it's working?" Tommy sasses and I stifle a chuckle, pursing my lip to conceal my smirk.
"I know it's working." He states over confidently, which even if I were into him, that would be a big turn off.
Like Tommy, he has a certain confidence about him but it's not stifling, big headed, or cocky, it's subtle, he demands it without verbally demanding it, and it's attractive.
Ew, since when did I use my best friend as a model of what is hot and not?
"Business, Mr Parsons, we're here for business." I remind him, sending him a stern look.
"See." Mr Parsons smirks at Tommy, and I roll my eyes as Tommy just stares straight through him, his cigarette seemingly forgotten as it burns in his fingers. "My business need protecting because I've made a few enemies in my year, and people like trying to tear me down."
"Wonder why." I mumble in a huff.
"What was that, sweetheart?"
"Oh nothing, just talking to myself, nothing for you to worry about." I wave him off, throwing a glare at him I how intrusive he's being.
"Anything that concerns your gorgeous mind is my concern, darling." Mr Parsons states softly before he grabs my hand that was dangling off of the arm of my chair.
I throw my head back in annoyance; I'd give anything to show this bitch my knife. I pull hand back, wanting to wash hands immediately.
"Why should we give you our protection?" Tommy asks, raising an eyebrow, taking a drag from his cigarette.
"Because, you clearly need it." Mr Parsons says, taking his eyes off of me from practically looking through my clothes to look at Tommy straight in the eyes.
Tommy abruptly gets up and rounds his desk towards me, he nods his head for me to get out of my chair, which I do and Tommy places his hand on my waist as we switch places to me sitting in his chair opposite Mr Parsons to Tommy sitting next to him, I can feel Mr Parsons' eyes on my body as I move. Tommy leans forward in his new chair, looking deep into Mr Parsons' eyes.
"What's that supposed to mean?" He questions, looking scary but it's kinda hot and to be honest, I'm slightly turned on.
"You live in a place like this, it's pretty self explanatory." Mr Parsons replies, crossing his leg over the other.
"I choose to live here, you don't have a choice." Tommy points out, clearly knowing more about him than I do.
"If that's what you want to believe, sure." He chuckles, throwing his head back.
"I'm not accustomed to being spoken to like that, especially not in my own fucking office." Tommy states, shaking his head slightly.
"What? No one been brave enough?" He chortles. "I've always been---"
"No one's seen the next morning after." Thomas cuts him off bluntly, and Mr Parsons stills for a moment.
This is such a dangerous and tense moment yet all I can do is keep my eyes locked on Tommy and all I want in the world right now is a repeat of the other night.
"I'm here to make a deal, Mr Shelby."
"Fine, give me your proposition." Tommy says, leaning back in his seat.
"50 percent of what I can--- no, will bring into The Shelby Company." Mr Parsons states with no remorse.
"And how do you expect to do that?" Tommy practically almost laughs, and I bite my lip to stop my guffaws coming out.
"With my business. If you protect me and people know that we're in bed together, you'll get even more people coming to you, you won't know where to put all the money." He answers, clearly delusional.
"Anything more you want from your so called deal?" Tommy asks, raising an eyebrow.
"A night with the girl."
We both freeze at that, both of us not believing that he just said that.
Tommy's always been protective of me, especially with people like this. I can even remember when I'd get people a year or two above me in school hitting on me or flirting with me, Tommy would always put them in their place and then ask if I was okay.
Yet at the same time, he knows to give me space and when I'm at my breaking point. He knows I don't like being smothered and accommodates for that.
"She's off the fucking table, untouchable." Tommy states with no hesitation or room for arguing. "Get the fuck out of my office." He shakes his head.
"I said sh---"
"Out." I push and he turns to look at me, his eyes widening at the sight of a gun pointed at his head.
"Yo---"
"Out." I push and pull the slide back.
He wordlessly gets up and Tommy and I escort him out as he swears a storm, slamming the door after himself.
Tommy and I stare at each other, alone since last night.
We both act on our own accord as I'm suddenly pressed against the wall, with Tommy's mouth on mine. I grip the back of his neck, my nails tickling his skin as Tommy pins me against the wall with his hips whilst his hands grip whatever he can.
Tommy wastes no time letting his tongue get reacquainted with mine, and I let out a moan at the feeling.
Last time it was soft, gentle, and slow, this time though, this time it's a lot more heated, passionate, and rougher.
"Jump." Tommy mumbles against me, and I do so, wrapping my legs around him as his hands go to my ass to get a steady grip on me.
I can tell he's holding back, almost as if he's refraining himself
"You can be rougher with me, by the way. I'm not made of glass." I quietly tell him, tracing his face with my fingers as we search each others eyes.
"Yeah?" He raises an eyebrow. "How rough?"
"We could set up a safe word?" I suggest.
"Like what?"
"Juggle?"
Tommy laughs before he presses his forehead against mine. "That works."
***
"What the fuck was that?" Tommy asks shocked, trying to catch his breath as his hand trails down the bare skin on my back.
"I don't know but oh my god." I shake my head, resting my forehead on his shoulder.
"This needs to be a regular occurrence, it's too good not to be." Tommy states, throwing his head back in his leather desk chair.
"Definitely." I agree, beginning to catch my breath.
I pull back, looking at Tommy who looks at me with hooded eyes and a small genuine smile, seemingly in a daze; we both are.
"You look pretty like this, no walls up, exposed and genuine." Thomas tells me softly, pushing some hair out of my face before quickly yet gently brushing his lips against mine.
"You're only saying that because I'm naked on top of you." I retort, beginning to have feeling in my legs again after riding him in his chair.
"I've always thought your were the most gorgeous person in the world, you know that, fuck, everyone knows that." He says and my stomach turns into liquid heat.
"Stop." I bashfully reply, burying my face into his neck as he breathes a laugh, continuing to stroke my back.
"You're so cute." He chuckles, kissing the side of my head.
"I've gotta get back to work, as much fun as this was, I like making money." I state, swiftly sliding off his lap and searching for my clothes that are strewn about the room somehow.
"So, what do you think we should do about Mr Parsons?" Tommy asks me, watching me fasten the back of my bra.
"You're not considering doing business with him are you?" I raise an eyebrow at him.
"No, fuck no." He shakes his head, getting up out of his chair to also get dressed. "Can't just let him come out of here with no repercussions."
"Probably just scare him, he didn't necessarily do anything, was just extremely unprofessional and disrespectful." I give him my two cents, before slipping my thick and dark jumper over my head. "But if there's anything that needs blowing up, you know where to find me."
Tommy chuckles as he buttons his shirt up.
"Of course." He nods with a smile, watching me slip into my skirt. "I'll send Finn his way."
"Terrifying." I smirk, finding it hard to believe that the boy I watched grow up could be intimidating.
"You seemed scared of him when he knocked on the door." Tommy teases, brushing his hip against mine as he walks past me.
"Well obviously, you had me up against the wall he was on the other side of; anyone could've caught us." I retort, looking in a mirror to sort my hair out as Tommy seems to have a fascination with it.
"Oh, so you're ashamed of me now are you?" Tommy asks, a teasing glint to blue eyes.
"Yeah, you're my dirty little secret." I laugh, before tying my shoes up.
Tommy tilts his head back to laugh as he slips his blazer back on, both of us looking put together again as if we didn't just have mind blowing sex.
"I'm going to have to kick you out of my office if you're going to speak to me like that." Tommy states, as we both near the door.
"We should really stop fucking on here. Next time my house." I tell him, looking up at him and the funny bright look in his eyes.
"Oh, so their is going to be a next time?" Tommy smirks with a raised eyebrow, look in proud of himself.
"You know as well as I do that there's going to be a next time." I send him a knowing look and he subtly licks his lips, looking pleased. "Can't get rid of you Shelbys if I tried."
Tommy laughs and presses a quick smiley kiss to my lips, "Don't ever change."
That's the start of an extremely natural, fulfilling, fun and sensual relationship. Nothing really changed within our friendship, only that we see each other naked a lot more.
It's definitely brought us closer together. We were extremely close before everything happened but now it feels like we've gotten to a new level, definitely a more intimate level but we're closer than ever before.
It kinda feels like we should've been messing around the whole time, it feels silly that we weren't. What we've got is so much fun and honestly it's a nice stress reliever at the end of the day.
It doesn't feel like we're tarnishing our years long friendship, this feels natural and free flowing.
No one knows, we made that a strict rule. We always try to mess around in the privacy of our own homes, but sometimes when it's late and everyone's gone home we can help ourselves or if tensions get high throughout the day.
I'm pretty sure no one knows. When this all started Ada was visiting and we were slightly sloppy with our secrecy, and she kinda cornered Tommy and I at different times but we got away with it as she never mentioned it again. After that we got our act together and any suspicion that was around died.
It's relatively unexpected from us, although we've expressed our attraction and admiration for each other to other people, we've always said we'd never act on it or that it was even possible to feel anything but appreciation for each other.
I've always joked that it'd be awful to be in a relationship with Tommy and that I'd hate to wake up to him everyday.
We also have another rule to not fall in love, which I laughed at when Tommy asked me to not fall in love with him, and then I told him to not flatter himself.
It's been kinda exciting sneaking around with Tommy. I feel like I'm hiding the resident bad boy of the town from my parents, but in this case it's one of the most dangerous people in the country and I'm sneaking around in front of his family, friends, and co-workers.
We generally don't really see each other outside of work besides on the Sundays that he comes over to my house to get his hair cut. Almost everyday we spend a lot of time together when everyone's gone home or ended their work day, we work together a lot, and I guess we see each other at the pub a lot; but to see each other outside of those premises isn't often. I occasionally go to Thomas' house but not by choice, only if he needs me there or there's a crises or an event going on but if I'm honest I don't like his house, which I've told him before and he always laughs at me because of it.
I love my flat in the heart of Small Heath and you couldn't get me out of their if you tried. I've lived there for years and it's my own place to call home. I could easily afford a house like Tommy's but you'd have to kill me to get me out of my flat.
In recent times, my house has sort of become his residence as he's spent so much time here recently. It's not just sex, we'll sometimes go to my house after work or after some evening entertainment, have a meal or just talk which leads to sex, and then half the time Tommy will stay the night; which leads to us having to sneak into work together without raising any suspicions.
Like now, it's honestly too often you'd find Tommy in my bed the morning after as the sun is beginning to shine through my bedroom windows, talking in quiet voices and having a few laughs.
Letting out a soft laugh at Tommy, I rub my hand over my face wake myself up a little bit more.
It's well into the morning, Tommy and I are lying in my bed, surrounded by sun spots that are pouring through my worn French windows, the Birmingham bustle is in full swing a few floors below us that we can hear small swings of from the window that is just slightly open, yet it's calm and quiet in this plant ridden room.
Just our quiet voices as if we were confessing our darkest secrets with the occasional stranger's shouty voice drifting through the window, and soft touches like we're handling a rare and ancient piece of history.
"Do you miss it?" Tommy asks as we're going through old memories.
"I miss my only worries being if Matthew Kennedy liked be back or not and being young and carefree, but I also love my life right now." I reply.
"Oh yeah, you planned out your wedding, how many kids you were gonna have and everything." Tommy laughs, his eyes glazed over as he thinks back to simpler times.
"It was gonna be outside with as many flowers as possible and we were gonna have 3 children, twin girls and a boy." I chuckle along with him, looking up at the crisp white ceiling. "But it turned out he was a shit kisser and only wanted to see my bed."
"I can still remember the black eye you gave him for that." Tommy grins, almost proudly.
"Deserved it, knob." I shake my head as he snickers before pulling me into him with the arm under me, curling me into his side, leaving the cracked open window to tickle my bare back with soft gusts of air.
"You're so violent." Tommy mumbles, pressing a gentle kiss to my hairline.
"Only to those that deserve it, which is a lot." I explain, before looking up at him. "So I can see how you got confused in perceiving me as a violent person, it's okay, Tom."
He send me an annoyed look as his fingers trace my back.
"You're so annoying, I've never met someone who annoys me so much." Tommy shakes his head, but despite his words his fingers stay consistent in tracing my back, running over my scars and smooth skin.
"You love it." I grin up at him.
All he does is grunt in response.
We lapse into a comfortable silence, with my head rested on his shoulder and my body pressed against his side whilst he has his arm wrapped around me, almost sending me to sleep again with his soft hands tracing my body.
"I can't believe you took a bullet for me." Thomas breaks the silence, running his fingers over the scar in my back.
"Only by accident." I reply, still slightly pissed off, making Tommy chuckle.
"Well if you hadn't moved I'd be dead." He states, looking up at the ceiling and easy smile on his face.
"And to think that you thought I was joking when it happened and you laughed." I shake my head, not being able help my smile.
I still remember that day as clear as ever.
We were outside the betting den with Arthur and Michael and I went to give Tommy a hug before I said goodbye and left but as we went to embrace each other I got a bullet straight into the back. I originally crashed into him and he thought I was joking before I crashed to the floor and my blood soaked my flowery blouse, that's when the laughter died.
"I said I was sorry!" Tommy claims, sounding anything but sorry. "I took care of you in the end though."
"You tripped as you entered the door, you knob!" I counteract, remembering how I was losing blood rapidly soaking his shirt, and as I was in his arms I laughed when he tripped nearly falling over.
"I was only trying." Tommy pouts, brushing his knuckles against my shoulder.
"Thank you." I breathe a small laugh before pressing a feather like kiss to his collarbone.
"You're not welcome." He jokes, before grabbing his first cigarette of the day.
Rolling out of his arms and onto my side of the bed, I do the biggest stretch known to man along with a loud and long groan. When I open my eyes, Tommy's giving me a look which I only grin at to annoy him, laying my head on my folded forearms as I lie on my stomach; I can't help but sigh as all I want to do I stay in the bed all day, preferably with him, not that I'd ever tell him that.
"Want one?" Tommy asks, offering his cigarettes to me.
"You know I don't smoke before 11." I tell him.
"I still don't get why." He shakes his head, exhaling the smoke.
"Habit." I shrug, knowing that it doesn't make any sense but I still do it anyway.
Running my fingers through my hair, I glance at my wardrobe, knowing that I should get ready sooner than later. Shuffling up onto my knees, I make my way over to Tommy's side of the bed as my wardrobe is situated on the left side of the room, I swing my leg over his, taking a brief pew on his thighs.
"You need your hair cut." I note, combing through his slight bed-head hair with my slender fingers.
"I know, but someone keeps putting it off." Tommy drawls, sending me a brief look be for he taps off the ash from his cigarette.
"It's not my fault that you come over to do it but you end up doing me instead." I chuckle, and he smiles.
"What can I say, it's just more fun."
I roll my eyes with a fond a smile before I go to get off Tommy's lap and venture out of this unbelievably comfortable bed but Tommy stops me by placing his hands on my hips, locking me in place.
"Yes?" I raise an eyebrow.
Tommy presses his lips against mine, pulling me in for a sensual, gentle morning kiss which leaves me breathless and wanting more. So much more. His touch is softer than ever as he cups my face in one hand and trails the other over the skin of my waist.
"That's all." Tommy shrugs, brushing his nose against mine with a small smile.
I mirror his smile and capture his lips one last time before I finally get out of bed, making my way over to my wardrobe and pull both doors open, my eyes darting over the hangers.
Picking out a dark dress with bright coloured flowers that has slight and subtle bell bottom sleeves, I shimmy into that before I make my way across the room to look out the window.
"Aw, it looks like it's going to rain." I frown, closing the window.
Tommy puts out his cigarette and gets out of bed, joining me at the window. "When doesn't it?"
"True," I shrug, then turn my back to Tommy. "Can you do me up?"
"Mhm." He hums and begins to do the buttons of my dress up.
"Thank you." I flash him a grateful smile and make my way over towards my vanity to do my make up as Tommy starts to change into one of the handful of suits that he leaves at my house.
This has sort of become the norm for us, Tommy spends the night, we spend a little too much time in bed in the morning until we ultimately have to get ready do the day and we have some banter whilst we get dressed and ready, the friendly banter is usually halted with kisses that make me feel warm inside as well as make my toes curl which always throws me off with how we can go from being best friends to acting like a couple in seconds.
I guess we are called friends with benefits.
Then we go downstairs and I make him breakfast, we talk about anything that's going on around us, business or people before our day starts and as soon as my front door swings open, we resort back to being best friends like we've always been, as if the night before didn't happen.
It didn't start like that.
At first it was strictly just sex. He'd only stay for a couple hours unless I really wore him out and he'd stay the night as much as he didn't particularly want to. We were kind of keeping it a secret from ourselves, reserving it strictly for behind closed doors, you wouldn't of suspected a thing; we slowly began moving forward, we stayed the night more, touches weren't just for nightfall anymore, and we knew where we stood with each other.
We don't refrain from showing each other affection anymore. Before this all happened Tommy and I would go through phases of giving each other affection but now it's different. I'd place a lot of money down for a bet to see if Tommy could walk past me without brushing his hand over my waist or back; he just subconsciously does it every time.
Sometimes there are moments where Tommy will be speaking with someone across the room or there's a family - even though I'm not family - meeting, and all I wanna do is just kiss him.
"You look nice." Tommy comments, coming up behind me as I'm putting some earrings in in front of my vanity mirror, bowing down to look at what I'm doing.
"Thank you." I reply as Tommy wraps his arms around my waist and leans down to press his chin to my shoulder blade, looking at me through the mirror. "You look alright."
Tommy flashes me a boyish smile before pecking the skin showing through the little triangle cut out in the back of my dress.
***
"See you tomorrow." I send Polly a smile when she makes her way out of the workplace.
"Bye, love." She mirrors my smile and closes the door behind her, leaving just a few Peakys peaking around.
Casting my eyes back to my desk, I carry on with my important task at hand before it swallows me whole.
As time goes by I sink further into my chair, the lights get softer as more people leave and my workload goes down. A loud groan disrupts my flow and it sounds like it's coming from Tommy's office.
Pushing my chair out, I head over Tommy's way not bothering to knock and I find him leaning back in his chair, looking stressed and defeated. His head whips up to look at me, his hard eyes softening when he sees it's just me.
"Why's it so dark in here?" I raise an eyebrow, noting the few lamps that are on in here, casting the room in a subtle orange glow when I walk towards him.
"Hurts my eyes." Tommy grumbles and I round his desk, taking a seat on his lap, his hand grazing my ass in the process.
"What's got you so gloomy?" I enquire, pressing a quick kiss to his jaw, feeling some tension release from his body as he settles into me.
"Just so much to do, so little time." Tommy replies with a soft sigh, placing his hand on my thigh and with his other hand he brushes some hair that got caught on my lipstick before he settles it around me.
"Seems that's how life's going these days." I mumble softly, sweeping the hair off of Tommy's forehead, causing him to close his eyes momentarily. "You should be careful not to overwork yourself, Tom. You make shit decisions when you're tired."
"What can I say? You tire me out." Tommy says with a fond smirk and slightly hooded eyes.
"You're a piece of work, got to put you to bed somehow." I fire back, matching his smirk.
Pressing my lips to the sensitive skin on his neck, working my way up towards his sharp jawline, Tommy lets out a satisfied sigh, beginning to properly relax. Connecting our lips in a sweet and short kiss, Tommy squeezes my thigh as I kiss him one time, two times, three times before going back to his neck.
"Mr Shelby?" Someone calls from behind the closed door with a hesitant knock.
We're too far gone to really care who it is or what they want so Tommy sighs and grants them entrance as I continue to work my magic on him. In comes a new lower ranked Peaky Blinder who's eyes widen at the sight of us, which it would be shocking to see us right now as everyone assumes we're still just best friends but here I am sat comfortably on Tommy's lap, marking him up.
"What can I do for you, Frank?" Thomas questions, trailing his hand up my thigh.
This poor boy is speechless, not knowing how to react and he looks like he wants to get out of this room as soon as possible.
"Uh, I just came in here to tell you that I've uh finished everything you asked me to do and it uhh all went smoothly." Frank states with anything but confidence.
"Great, thanks." Tommy responds, tilting his head to the side to give me more space.
Frank escapes the room as soon as possible and I chuckle at the hard working boy. We both know that he'd never utter a word to anyone about what he saw, that's why we didn't freak out. The boy want to go up in this company and he'll do anything to please anyone higher than him; he's too gentle and easily persuaded for this world.
"Is that everyone gone?" Tommy asks me.
"Should be." I confirm with a small nod.
"Perfect."
The next thing I feel is Tommy's hand creeping up my skirt.
***
"What?" Tommy utters, staring at a lower ranked Peaky Blinder with an ice cold stare.
"It's not my fault! I tried to get him to agree but---"
"Not your fault? This whole plan went down the drain because of you!" Tommy states, not believing the man.
"He had a gun to my head, what was I supposed to do?!" Matthew asks outraged.
"You should taken someone fucking with you, not just thought that you knew best! You need a wake up call because if you want to remain in this company you should know that that shit doesn't fly around here. Could've taken John, Arthur, Cora, fuck, even Michael for fuck sake, not just make decisions as you go along." Thomas retorts, frustrated beyond belief as he rubs his hands over his face.
"What's all the shouting about?" Polly questions as she comes up beside me from being in another room.
"Mathew fucked up and gave away Tommy's plans and shit, along with some other stuff that i don't quite know the details of, so Tom's losing his shit." I fill her in, looking up at her from where I'm sitting and she's standing.
"How the fuck did that happen?" She asks, confused.
"He ran into some trouble on the way or something, I'm not sure, I only came in half way through." I take an unsure guess.
"Men." She shakes her head, letting out a sigh.
"Boys." I correct, making her cackle as she turns to move further into the room.
"I don't need a babysitter, and I sure as hell am not gonna take a female with me." Mathew states in defence, his so called manhood damaged by the thought of a woman being able to do his job better than him.
Tommy huffs a small laugh.
"I wear heels bigger than your dick!" I joke from across the room, not taking his serious comment seriously.
"Just get out of my sight before I force you to." Tommy huffs, turning around and heading up to his office, not being gentle with the door as he closes it behind him.
"I'll go talk to him." I roll my eyes, getting up out of my chair, grabbing the knife from off my desk with me. "And you..." I start, showing Mathew my weapon. "Try not to be a sexist twat next time you're even vaguely threatened by a woman. We hold a lot more power than you can, so remember that next time." I give him a sly wink as I twirl the extremely sharp knife around my fingers.
Heading into Tommy's office, I lean against the door after I close it, watching Tommy lean over his desk, head hung low, tension present in his muscles.
"What is it with people not sticking to the plan?" Tommy grumbles, not bothering to turn around and face me.
"Some people think they know best, I guess." I say, coming up behind him and wrapping my arms around his waist, feeling some tension leave his body.
"He's my employee, this is not what I'm employing him for. I'm not paying him to fuck up." Tommy shakes his head as I press my cheek against his back.
"I know." I say, knowing he doesn't really want me to say anything, he just needs comforting and someone to vent to.
"This whole plan has gone to shit, I've spent weeks trying to perfect it, and the easiest task got fucked." He huffs.
"You shouldn't of trusted him to it, the man can't even tie a tie." I state, looking out of the window.
"I just thought I'd give him a chance, a try, whatever, but I shouldn't of." Tommy replies, lifting his head up.
"You learn from these things, got to know where you stand with the people around you." I tell him, moving my hands from around his waist to hooking under his shoulders.
"I guess, but I just expected more from him." Tommy responds.
And so I let my best friend vent some more, not just about this incident but anything that's on his mind, only replying when I feel the need to, and I think it worked because he's not all worked up anymore, the tension has dropped in his body, and he seems at peace.
"Thank you." Tommy utters, taking my face in his hands.
"For what?" I breathe a small laugh, holding onto his forearms.
"For just always being there for me, day or night, for the big things and the small things, I don't know how I could ever thank you enough." He says, stepping into my bubble, looking more sincere than ever.
"You do the same for me, that's more than enough." I assure, looking deep into his deep blue eyes. "Thank you for being my best friend."
Tommy smiles a small smile, before giving me a kiss, pulling me impossibly close to him, both of our smiles growing.
***
Glancing over towards the clock on the bedside table, seeing the time reads 6:30, I've got a long day ahead of me and I need to catch up on quite a few things as I seem to be slacking because I've been spending all my time with the duvet hogger to the left of me.
Granted it's not my house or room so I have no claim on it, but I seem to spend more time here than my own house; it feels more like home here, anyway.
Letting out a quiet yawn, I look over at Cora next to me, seeing how she's dead to the world looking effortlessly gorgeous whilst she's fast asleep. Her dark hair is splayed out on her pillow, her long eyelashes resting on her cheeks, and her bare shoulders are poking out of the duvet, with a small sun spot shining on her, and she just looks so pretty.
It feels weird not waking up next to her nowadays, it feels so natural seeing her warming up the other half of either mine or her's bed.
Sitting up, I shuffle out of bed and start to get dressed and I can't help but think of how I could get used to this.
Beginning to get ready for the day without waking up Cora, I don't bother with breakfast as I just don't have the time. Doing a once over in the mirror, I head over to Cora who's half awake to let her know that I'm leaving.
"Cora, lovie." I say softly, placing my hand on her exposed arm.
"Hm?" She hums, giving me a peak of her green eyes as she purses her lips briefly.
"'M gonna head into work now, I'll see you later on, eh?" I inform, watching her slowly wake up.
"Okay, have fun." Cora wishes, readjusting the sheet on her bare chest.
"Oh I'll try." I joke, brushing some hair away from her face with a fond smile. "I'll see you later." I tell her, planting a quick kiss on her lips.
She chuckles.
"Look at us, like an old married couple, who'd of thought?"
"Terrifying." I laugh, asking her laugh as I leave the room with a smile on my face that stays on my face until I open the front door, and as I'm walking to work I can't help but think that that doesn't sound so bad.
Leaning back in my chair, I grab a cigarette and flick my lighter against the end, quickly exhaling what I inhale before clearing my throat a little.
"I look forward to what the future holds for us, Mr Shelby." Mr Cliffo states, clearly chuffed with the way this meeting went.
"As do I, Mr Cliffo, as do I." I reply, wanting to get him out of my office as soon as possible as I've still got so much to do today.
"You've got a nice thing going on here, great business attitude, trust worthy co workers, it seems like your family really has its heart in this company." Mr Cliffo drawls, looking around the room.
"Yes, all of us here believe in this company and always want to strive closer towards our goals and ambitions." I nod, bringing my cigarette to my mouth again.
"I have to ask as curiosity has gotten the best of me, where's the woman that usually attends our meetings?" Mr Cliffo questions, and I sigh, it seems like everyone takes interest in my best friend nowadays.
She's extremely captivating and has a mysterious aura to her, Cora just has this way of drawing you in and making you want to know as much about her as possible.
"Busy." I inform, watching him carefully, how he has a ghost of smile on his face and seemingly looking back on his few interactions with her.
"I've missed her little quips and ideas." He tells me.
Widening my eyes as I let out an exasperated huff, I stand up and head towards the door, hopefully giving him the hint to get the fuck out of my office.
Which he does, so he stands up whilst doing the buttons of his blazer up, approaching me by the door.
"Pretty little thing she is." He says fondly, but not in a creepy way just a genuine compliment.
"She's certainly a head turner." I nod, not being able to deny it.
"Well, I must get going, errands to run." Mr Cliffo states and opens the door. "I'm sensing a promising future here, Mr Shelby."
"I'll look forward to it." I say, escorting him out to hurry him up.
We enter the main room where everyone seems to be, the shouting across the room and bustling noises greet us.
"Have a good day, Mr Shelby." Mr Cliffo bids and we shake hands briefly before he leaves, leaving me to head into John's office to relay some information about the meeting I just had.
"Good meeting?" John questions as I lean against the door frame.
"As good as a meeting with Mr Cliffo can go." I half joke, folding my arms.
"Still a boring middle aged fuck?" John laughs, dropping his pen.
"More of less." I confirm with a small chuckle.
I'm half way through telling John about what happened and our plans when there's a commotion on the other side of the room. I look over my shoulder and find Cora pinning Mr Cliffo against the wall with the knife that she keeps in her stockings under his chin
He looks sheepish, slightly terrified, and completely taken of guard whilst she looks dangerous, pissed off and not the slightest bit hesitant.
"What the fuck is goin' on?" John enquires, joining me in the doorway. "Fuck yeah, I love when she brings the knives out." He practically cheers for her.
"Touch me or any of the woman in here again and you won't see the next sunrise." Cora promises, and in some weird way I can't help but smile a little as she looks so natural at this.
"What's some woman gonna do?" Mr Cliffo attempts to belittle her in order to save his so called manhood.
That's not what he was saying about her earlier.
Cora sharply brings her knee to his crotch making him pale and let out an agonising groan. The impact enough to make any man wince.
"First time a woman's touched your dick in years, is it?" She taunts, pushing the knife into his skin.
He can't get any words out, clearly in too much pain.
"What? Cat got your tongue?" She all but smirks. "Get out of here before you do something you'll regret." Cora states and Mr Cliffo stumbles out of the door, no doubt planning to avoid this building for the rest of his life.
"Fucking hell, I learnt the day I met her not to fuck with Cora Witton and I'm still scared of her." John tells me, subtly interlacing his hands over his crotch making me breathe a laugh.
"Ladies." Cora grins at the women who she just protected from Mr Cliffo, and they mirror her smile.
"She may be small but she will hurt you." I comment watching her tuck her knife back in her stocking, not caring that people can see.
"No hesitation." John adds before he goes back to his desk.
"What the fuck were you thinking doing business with him?" Cora questions as she comes up to me, not mad just curious.
"We've worked with him before, thought I'd take it further." I shrug.
"And after each meeting he grabs my ass." She rolls her eyes, mirroring my folded arms.
"That's him?" I raise an eyebrow, surprised.
"Kinda." She nods, widening her eyes.
"Sorry, I didn't know, lovie." I say softly before kissing her cheek breifly. "This is why I need you in my meetings, give me honest and better judgement."
"Speaking of which, business is done and dealt with, Finn and Isiah are just finishing it up." Cora informs.
"Did it go smoothly?" I question, staring down at her.
"More or less." She nods and she's about to explain before Michael calls her over. "I'll tell you later." Cora tells me, gently fixing my tie before she heads over to Michael.
"You're close." John states, a teasing tone creeping into his voice along with the growing smirk.
"Fuck off." I grumble and leave his doorway, entering mine.
***
"Hi." Cora sings when she enters my office, an unfamiliar baby on her hip.
"Who's this?" I question, leaning back in my chair.
"My neighbour's son." She says, tucking some blonde hair behind the baby's ear.
"It's illegal to take people's children, Cora." I tell her, smiling when she rolls her eyes.
"My neighbour needed someone to watch him for like 15 minutes." She informs, sitting down in the chair opposite me, situating the young boy on her lap who's fascinated with the bracelet on her wrist.
"What's his name?"
"Ronnie."
"Is this the neighbour that complained about the noise?" I ask, with a cheeky smirk
"Yeah, I still can't look them in the eye." She bashfully answers, smiling through the pain.
I laugh as I look back on that experience, it traumatised her so much that we did all our rendezvous on my house for the next month until people started getting suspicious so we went back to her house most of the time.
"You do a lot of things, Cora, yet you can't look your neighbour in the eyes because they heard us one time." I state, amused.
"Uh, I highly doubt it was just the once." She confidently claims.
"Why don't you just move somewhere more remote?" I suggest, already knowing the answer.
"I can't! I love my place, you know that." Cora replies, readjusting Ronnie on her lap. "Isn't that right, Mr Ronnie?" She coos.
I rest my chin on my palm, hiding my smile behind my knuckles. She looks like such a natural with him and seeing her with a baby makes a weird thought come into mind and I can't help but entertain that thought.
Half of me and half of her, dear god help the child who's cursed with that.
A sarcastic and cocky bastard riddled with trauma and seemingly never ending problems.
I'm not planning on having a child with Cora ever, but the idea is entertaining and gives me an odd feeling.
She'd be an amazing mum, she would do anything for anyone that she loves, and to receive her love is one of the greatest things in the world. As I'm looking at her now, I want some of that.
I'd like a beautiful baby who's half me and half her.
"What you daydreaming about, Shelby?" Cora brings me out of the thoughts I'd never utter to her.
"Nothing." I shake my head, and try to busy myself with the work in front of me.
"In all the years I've known you, Tommy, there's always something in your head." Cora says knowingly, a teasing smile creeping on her face.
"Not true." I deceive.
"I'll find out, some day, I always do."
Not even over my dead body.
"Are you coming over tonight?" She questions, crossing her legs.
"Depends, do you want me to?" I retort, looking over at her.
"I think you know the answer to that." Cora tells me, meeting my eyes, a sly glint prevalent in her eyes.
"No?" I guess.
"Of course I do." She chuckles, her smile lighting up the room.
"Tell you what, I'll finish this in the next... 20 minutes/half an hour then we'll head over to your flat, and see where the evening takes us." I suggest, despite the fact that I still got at least a third of work to do today but this girl just does things to me.
"You and I both know exactly where the evening will take us." Cora laughs, running her hand through her hair.
"The sooner we're out of here, the sooner we can get there." I reply, sending her a knowing look.
"Sounds like a plan." Cora grins, gathering Ronnie before leaving the room.
***
"Ready?" I ask, brushing my hand over Cora's shoulder as I walk past her.
"Mhm, just need to give this to Michael." She hums, getting out of her chair to head over to Michael as I get my coat.
"Where are you two going?" Polly muses, leaning back almost smugly in her chair, a cigarette burning in her fingers.
"Home." I answer, turning to look at her.
"Early for you." Polly acknowledges, looking as if she knows something I don't.
"Maybe so, Pol, maybe so." I nod as Cora walks over towards us.
"Ready?" She questions and I nod before I guide us out of here by draping my arm over her shoulders, opening the front door, seeing its beginning to rain. "Shit, I didn't bring a coat." Cora pouts.
"I did." I smugly say, stepping outside and she tugs at the sleeves of her dress until she steps out, too.
We begin to walk the 15 minute walk to Cora's place, chatting about random things on the way, the rain only getting heavier; luckily we're sheltered by the roofs of the houses hanging over the pavement.
"No one annoys me more than my sister, not even you and you're really high up there, like too high." She tells me, making me grin, that's my favourite pastime.
"It's just so easy to do, nothing amuses me more than when you're annoyed." I chuckle, looking down at her annoyed glare and feigning pain when she punches me in the arm, watching her fold her arms to keep herself warm.
"I retract my statement, you annoy me the mos---" she cuts herself off when I drape my coat over her shoulders. "Tommy Shelby, you're so romantic." Cora laughs, a teasing glint in her eyes.
"I try." I mumble, with a small smile as we turn a corner.
"Fuckin' hell, rain's giving no mercy." She points out, and we both look out at the rain that's pelting down, making puddles and leaking through unlucky people's roofs.
Luckily we're sheltered by said roofs; for now.
Grabbing Cora's hand, I pull her out of the protection of the roofs into the rain, making her squeal and laugh which is just music to my ears as I laugh along with her.
"Tommy!" She exclaims and I pull her into my arms, pressing her against me as our hair and clothes get soaked.
"Cora!" I imitate to annoy her, as she wraps her arms loosely around my neck, bringing us even closer. I look into her eyes, seeing how carefree she looks, how much her face is lit up, the smile that always makes me weak in the knees, and how happy she looks, it makes me unbelievably happy. "Kiss me."
"What? Out in open? People can see us, rumours will spread." Cora tells me as she sweeps some soaked hair off my forehead and to the side.
"So? People are already suspicious." I shrug, cupping her cheek. "Kiss me."
She breathes a laugh before pressing her lips to mine, the both of us smiling into it.
I've never smiled as much as the time I spend with this girl.
We stand in the middle of the road, raining cats and dogs on us, intertwined with each other, more than just physically, out in the open.
Pulling back slowly, we take each other in with soft eyes and smiles, and as I'm looking at her right now, all I can feel is love.
I'm in love with my best friend.
Deeply in love.
I could call myself crazy but the way she's looking at me right now and how she's making me feel, I'd say she feels the exact same.
The words are on the tip of my tongue, aching to be said but I'm not brave enough, so I settle with kissing her again instead.
I'm scared to the bone but I'm also kind of revelling in it as it's a new feeling and fuck does it feel good.
"You look pretty in the rain."
"As do you."
***
After a successful business move that we've all been hard at work on for the past month, that called for a celebration, right? Which is why we're in The Garrison this evening, nestled in the private room full of Shelbys, Grays, and a few other Peakys including myself.
Which is predictably chaos.
"To business." Michael toasts, holding his drink up.
"To business." We all toast, clinking glasses.
"Michael, for fucks sake, you've made that toast like 10 times tonight." John groans, rubbing his forehead clearly exasperated.
"I'm a little drunk, and you keep joining so you're all as bad as me." Michael states, and there's some truth to his words.
We're all a little drunk, some more than others. Not to name names or anything but I'm definitely looking at Arthur, Finn and possibly Polly, not to mention Michael. The rest of us are tipsy, definitely feeling the buzz in our systems, but not off our face.
Although that might change as the night goes on.
"To business!" Arthur vindicates, and I groan, making Tommy chuckle.
"On behalf of my family, I am so sorry." Tommy jokes from beside me.
"What is it with you Shelbys and your liquor?" I question, leaning my head on his shoulder as I look at him.
"Born with it in our bloodstreams." Tommy tells me, brushing his fingertips against my arm as his arm is draped around the back of my part of the booth.
We're kind of in our own bubble in the corner, occasionally piping up with a quip or an opinion but we're mainly talking to each other like we've always done in these sort of circumstances.
"I assume you came out of the womb with a cigarette too, right?" I tease, crossing my legs.
"Yeah, the midwife was waiting with a match." He jokes with a small laugh, his smile staying on his face.
"I can't imagine you as a child. Of course I've known you since we were in year 9, and I'd seen you around a few times in secondary school, but to imagine you as an 8 year old is really hard." I tell him, smiling at the thought.
"Well first of all I was adorable, let's get that out of the way." Tommy states, trying to conceal his smirk.
"You still are!" I tease, earning myself a blank look.
"The ladies loved me." He continues.
"Even with your bad haircut?" I laugh, I've heard so much about his haircuts in the past that family members did for him.
"That's what brought them in, you whore." Tommy laughs which makes me laugh.
"Of course, all that extra hair just propelled these so called ladies to you."
"Exactly." He confirms as if it's obvious. "I've heard stories from your childhood from your family or partners." Tommy informs, a mischievous look in his eyes
"You know only what I want you to know."
"You're forgetting that I know every single thing about you, everything." Tommy says, nudging his knee against mine.
"I highly doubt that, every single thing? Really?" I question, nudging him back.
"Yeah."
"How old was I when I stopped hating you?" I test him, turning slightly to look at him.
"Trick question, you never stopped." Tommy answers, grinning because he knows he's right and I huff. "Yet you still suck my dick almost every night." He mumbles, making me punch him which only makes him laugh.
"I don't hear you complaining." I retort.
"I'd never." Tommy shakes his head. "Why don't we go back to your place and I'll show you how appreciative I am." He suggest, placing his hand on my thing under the table.
"Don't you want to celebrate with your family?" I question, looking over at everyone who's more or less plastered.
"Lovie, you are my celebration." Tommy tells me fondly, tucking some hair behind my ear.
This is the thing with Tommy. He can make you feel so special and make you feel like you're the only person in the room, despite the fact that it's filled with loads of people. He can set off a load of fireworks inside of you without even really trying.
"How about you meet me in the back room in five minutes..." Tommy suggests, sending me a mischievous smile.
"Sounds like a plan." I reply, matching his smile.
"I'm gonna go get more alcohol." Tommy announces, but no one's really listening, and Tommy leaves the room, leaving me alone with his family.
"I'm so glad that I never have to talk to another Bulgarian in my life." Finn says, as I tune into the family's conversation.
"What if you fall in love with one one day?" I question and he turns to me.
"Simply impossible." Finn shakes his head.
"You can't control who you love; you can lie to yourself, deny yourself of it, but it'll always be there." I tell him, sitting up straight ready to go.
"You can definitely control who you love, I can also choose who, when, and where." Finn disagrees, taking a sip of his drink.
"Okay, say you chose to fall in love with the old lady that lives next door to you. Could you do that?" I question, watching him falter as everyone chuckles at him.
"What do you know about love anyway?" Finn asks in a grumble, downing the rest of his drink.
I know a little something about unrequited love.
"I got proposed to." I retort, sending him an obvious look.
"Which you laughed at before walking away from him." He argues, with a laugh.
"Broke the poor guy's heart in front of everyone." Arthur stifles a laugh, refilling his glass.
"Who proposes after 2 years together?" I question, folding my arms.
"Loads of people." John answers, an amused look on his face.
"Shit, maybe I don't know much about love." I join the laughter almost sheepishly.
"I love being in love, it's one of the best feelings in the world." Polly states, leaning back in her chair with a dazed look in her eyes.
"Love is whenever something happens in your life, good or bad, you immediately want to tell them. When you know you can go to them for anything. Knowing you can do anything and they'll always be there for you. When they can always make you laugh, despite anything. Just feeling at home with them, basically. Love is when they're your home." Arthur despite being drunk, eloquently speaks.
My mind instantly goes to Tommy.
He's all of that.
Always has been.
"Love is never far, it's always closer than you think." Polly states, and I look over at her and find that she's already looking at me. Her eyes boring into my soul.
"The only things I love in my life is me and my flat." I announce, and get up to go meet Tommy.
"What about me?" Finn questions, looking up at me with puppy-like look adorning his face.
"Aww." I smile and ruffle his hair. "No."
Opening the door to be greeted with the rest of The Garrison that isn't closed off, I step out and close the door behind me, my eyes scanning the room. Rolling my eyes when I see Tommy talking to some guy at the bar.
He spots me as I approach him, a small smile quirking at his mouth.
"Sorry, I've got some business to attend to." Tommy excuses himself and swiftly yet subtly follows me through the room.
"Is that what I am now? Business?" I tease, as we're out of earshot from anyone around us.
"No, you're a lot more fun than business." Tommy says, grabbing my hand as we push past the doors that lead to the backrooms down the long corridor.
"I don't know, sometimes you get quite excited when things are going well." I tell him, making him laugh which resonates in this empty corridor. "Although---"
I'm cut off by Tommy pressing me up against the wall as he attaches his mouth to mine eagerly. Cupping his face, I match his pace and pull him closer as he buries his fingers in my hair and pins me against the wall with his hips.
"You're so pretty, lovie." Tommy whispers, making me grin.
"So are you." I chuckle, knowing how much he hates when I call him pretty despite the tiny blush that flushes his cheeks.
"You just love to remind me that you're my best friend, don't you?" He asks with a smile.
"Yeah." I laugh and kiss him again before Tommy begins to guide us to a more private area as our kiss begins to heat up and hands are roaming.
The door slams against the wall as we enter a storage room that is surprisingly clean, the heavy wooden door closes itself and Tommy and I stumble our way through the room as our bodies heat up until we hit a wall, I let out a breathy moan at the sensation of being able to feel ever curve and dip of Tommy.
Disconnecting our lips, Tommy dips his head to attach his mouth to my neck as I pant, beginning to fiddle with the buttons of my dress.
"Uh, Tommy? Cora?" A voice hesitantly speaks up, and we freeze.
You could hear a pin drop.
I look to my left and see Michael staring at us with wide eyes, looking scared yet too shocked to really form an opinion.
"Hi, Michael." I sheepishly greet as Tommy drops his head to my shoulder in defeat briefly.
"Has this been going on this whole time?" Michael asks after some silence, rubbing his nose.
"What are you even doing here anyway, Michael?" Tommy asks, turning to face him.
"I was uh... meeting a friend." Michael says. "Not your kind of friend though."
I look past him and see the small container splayed out on some stacked up pallets. "Friend, really?"
"Yep." He nods, inhaling sharply as he refuses to look us in the eyes.
"Not doing lines off old rotting pallets?" I suggest, putting my weight on one foot.
"To--- Who are you to judge me when you guys are fucking or whatever under people's noses?" Michael accuses, acting out. "Has this been going this whole time? You've been sneaking around for years?"
"What does it matter to you?" Tommy and I say simultaneously.
"Are guys together or what?" Michael questions, looking between us.
Tommy and I look at each other, not being able to come up with an answer.
"How does it concern you with what we do privately?" Tommy questions, looking pissed.
"I don't know about priva---"
I cut Michael off as I push him against the wall, swiftly pulling my knife out and holding I under his chin whilst I have my hand pressed against his collar. "You say a fucking word to anyone, your mum, your friends, your butcher, your fucking dentist and you'll be fresh meat." I warn as I look into his blown out eyes. "Understand?"
"Cora---"
"Understand?" I repeat, pressing the blade into his skin.
"Yes, I won't utter a word!" Michael conforms, keeping eye contact.
"Good." I grin, and affectionately clap his cheek. "Tell your mum I'll be in late tomorrow." I inform as I put away my knife before stepping back to Tommy, who runs his hand down my back and rests it on the small of my back.
"We're trusting you, Michael." Tommy tells him, giving him a stern look before we head out the door.
"Stay off the snow will you, Michael?" I suggest over my shoulder before the door slams shut.
"You're so violent, like my little weapon." Tommy teases, intertwining our fingers and I squeeze his hand lightly.
"How much do you trust him?" I question, as we walk down the long corridor.
"As long as we've got you around, I'd say 100 per cent." Tommy jokes. "As long as we don't have any interactions like that again, I'd say he's pretty trust worthy."
"Right." I nod, taking in his words. "Back to my house?"
"We're still celebrating, aren't we?" Tommy states, making me chuckle but it's short lived as I can't help but frown when he drops my hand as we enter the open again.
My heart sinks.
"Just wanna remind you that we've got a wedding next week." Tommy says and I roll my eyes.
You forget one important shoot out that's been planned for months and suddenly he has to remind you of every important thing for the rest of time.
"You didn't propose though?" I reply, gliding through groups of people.
"I didn't?" He raises an eyebrow, looking down at me with a small smirk.
"No, you didn't." I shake my head, smiling.
"Oh, shame, you look good in white."
***
"Well Arthur, the big day's come." I say, as I flip my collar up to put my tie on.
"Indeed, it has indeed." Arthur nods, taking a seat on the large ottoman in the middle of the room.
"Our Arthur's finally settling down, eh?" John smirks as he looks in the mirror to do his hair again.
"God help Linda." Finn grumbles, slipping into his blazer.
"Already is." John widens his smirk.
"I don't see any of you getting married so fuck off." Arthur replies, disregarding John.
"To be fair, he's got a point... god can only do so much." I state, tightening my tie and putting my collar down.
"Oi, you can barely keep your woman on the reigns." Arthur retorts, pointing a finger at me, as the others snicker.
"I've not got a woman." I reply although I know who and what they're talking about.
"You know, the girl you're always around." Arthur tells me, and I huff with a small smile at their tomfoolery.
"You mean the girl who punched you and you practically cried when she was like 14?" I ask, pulling my cigarettes out.
"She'd fucking kill you if she knew you were talking about her like this, Arthur." Finn says, smirking.
"Even if she were my so called woman, not that you'd ever be able to make her conform to that title, she cannot be owned. Not just because of feminism but she's too wild for that, she'd also punch me and that hurts." I state, lighting my cigarette.
"I think it's the other way 'round." John muses, gesturing with his cigar. "She's got you on the reigns."
"Have any of you lot seen Cora?" Polly asks as she bursts into the room, dressed in a fancy dress.
"No."
"Not seen her all morning."
"Not seen her since this morning."
"Me either."
"Fuck sake. She can do everything but turn up on time." Polly grumbles, shaking her head. "Well come on then. Time's getting on and the bride won't wait forever."
We all exit the room one by one, following Polly through the building but we stop short when we see Cora stepping into the entrance hall, looking up at the ceiling as she lights a cigarette, showcasing the thin but long scar on her throat that gave me nightmares when it happened.
"Shelbys!" She beams when she sees us, taking a drag of her cigarette, looking temptingly appetising.
"What time do you call this, Witton?" Polly barks, sending daggers Cora's way.
"There's plenty of time! Don't worry about it." Cora waves Polly off but all I can focus on is how good she looks.
Her dress has a few layers of thin, see through tulle with flowers embroidered into it, the underneath is a champagne sort of pink coloured dress that shines through subtly, the length sinks all the way down to her feet, it's cinched in at the waist with a controversial slit at the side showcasing her leg, and her sleeves are made of the same see through tulle that hangs off her shoulders to tickle her elbow in waves. Her hair is pinned up with a handful of thick curls dangling around her face, and her make up is subtle which really makes her green eyes pop.
She looks like an angel to put it simply.
"Careful, you'll catch flies." John smirks, elbowing me.
I push him back making him knock into Finn which causes him to start an argument.
The art of diversion.
"Nice dress." I comment when she looks over at me.
"Thanks, it has pockets." Cora replies, giving me a demonstration.
"Thought it was supposed to be the bride who's the prettiest today." I state quietly as no one seems to be listening to us.
"Aw, you're too kind." She smiles before pecking my cheek and guiding us towards the church.
***
An around of applause and cheers resonate in the tall church as Arthur and Linda kiss, I can't help but smile at the happy couple.
"How long?" Tommy jokes when he mumbles into my ear.
"Stop!" I laugh, continuing to clap.
"We're married!" Arthur announces as he and Linda turn to face everyone with grins.
Another round of applause goes around the room, mixed with whistles, hoots, and cheers. Arthur and Linda walk down the aisle as a newly wedded couple before everyone slowly begins to follow them for photos outside.
"I can't imagine you getting married." Tommy states when we stand up.
"I'm hurt, Thomas." I reply, shuffling out of the pew.
"You seem too... independent and strong." Tommy digs himself a bigger hole.
"What? So the point of marriage is supposed to break me?" I question with a chuckle.
"No, just the traditional way is that you'd stay at home, looking after the children, cooking or baking, and waiting for your husband to come home." He answers. "And that's not you... but I like that about you."
"I'm never stopping for some man, men don't deserve rights." I shake my head.
"Oh right." Tommy laughs, slinging his arm around my shoulders as we walk down the aisle. "I guess you work with a lot of males so you can say that."
"Thank you, for letting me, a woman, know what I can say and what I'm allowed to say, thank you husband." I joke and he bumps his hip against mine in response.
"The nagging wife part though, you've got that down." Tommy replies, weaving us through people as I lace our hands together with the hand that was dangling in front of my chest from where his arm is draped over my shoulders.
"Fuck off." I laugh, the fresh spring air hitting my face as we enter the outside, gathering at the back of the large group of people posing for photos.
"You love it." He grins before pressing a kiss to my cheek as I laugh.
A flash blinds me momentary, and I inwardly groan.
A few more photos, Tommy and I trying to annoy each other, and laughs later and we head off to the party.
***
"I've known Arthur since I was like 15, it feels weird to watch him get married after all this time." I tell a stranger that I've been talking to for the past 10 minutes.
"I've grown up with Linda, I've not heard the end of this wedding since she was 10." Linda's cousin makes a joke which I fake laugh at, before taking a sip from my flute of champagne. "Are you getting married anytime soon?"
"Oh, no, god no." I shake my head, chuckling.
"Really? Aren't you with Arthur's brother, what's his name? Thomas is it?" She questions.
"Tommy? We're not really together, well we aren't... Thomas is amazing but..."
"But?" She smiles warmly as if she's just done something.
Why aren't we together is the better question, Tommy is everything I've ever wanted, he respects me, makes me feel like I'm more special that I am, is always there for me no matter what, and can make me feel so carefree, I'm in love with him but he's just not.
"But he isn't one for relationships." I answer. "I'm gonna go annoy some of your family, you make me think when I'm here to get drunk. I don't like that."
Her smile falls and I float off towards a group of strangers, ready to judge.
"I heard that the Shelbys shot someone who accidentally bumped into them once." A middle aged man says quietly.
Perfect, this is the group I want to annoy.
"Really? I heard that they give their children guns." A little younger woman matches his tone.
"That's nothing, I heard that they stab children who beg." I cut in, doing this big exaggerated look around the circle.
"I heard that they hurt people who gossip." Polly comes out of no where, and I can't help but smirk at her when she meets my eyes.
"Are you two Shelbys?" A snooty woman questions with a sigh before sipping her drink.
"No." I answer, which isn't a lie.
"I'm Arthur's aunt and she's his brother's girlfriend." Polly states and I glare at her, before tucking my hair behind my ear and subtly flipping her off, which she suppresses a smirk at.
"Oh, I see. You seem like lovely people." Another woman replies with a tight lipped smile.
"We are." I nod.
"If you stay on the right side of us." Polly adds, lighting a cigarette.
"But if you don't, we'll drag you through hell."
"Simple really." Polly shrugs lightly.
"Of course... we're family now, nothing but love." The same woman replies with a nervous laugh.
As Polly makes them more uncomfortable I look over my shoulder at Tommy across the room, who's sitting at a large table with a few people but I don't think he's interacting with anyone really, cigarette and liquor in hand. He gives me a wink which makes me smile, and he gestures for me to come over with a nod of his head.
Leaving the group and Polly, I cross the room all the way to my best friend who takes a drag from his cigarette as I stand behind him and wrap my arms around his shoulders, letting my hands dangle above his chest life a necklace.
"Are you done antagonising Linda's family?" Tommy questions with a tiny chuckle.
"Not yet. They're so judgy." I reply, accepting Tommy cigarette when he offers it to me.
"Where do you think Linda gets it from?" He rhetorically asks.
"You look very pretty." I inform, pressing a quick kiss to his forehead when he looks up at me.
"If I look pretty you must be the prettiest person in the world." Tommy says, fiddling with my hands.
"Always a charmer you Shelbys." I tease.
"Eh we know how to talk the talk." He jokes, squeezing my hand. "Do you wanna dance?"
I look out at the dance floor where all the couples seem to be, it's a little bit crowded but seems comfortable.
"Sure." I nod and Tommy stands up before offering his hand with a boyish smile.
I match his smile and take his hand, Tommy leads us to the dance floor where I place my hand on his shoulder, keeping the other comfortably in his hand, whilst Tommy places his hand on my lower back. The song is quite a fast paced one, so there's no room for a slow dance.
Tommy and I expertly shuffle through the dance floor, him twirling me out every now and then, as we talk and laugh. "Why are old ladies so judgy?"
"I don't know, their better days are behind them and they can't get over that." Tommy offers an amused suggestion.
"I think it's because they---" I cut myself off with a squeal when Tommy surprises me by twirling me out into the dance floor making me laugh. "Give me a warning next time!"
He just smiles down at me as he looks into my eyes. "No, I like making you laugh."
"You always make me laugh, especially with your questionable choices." I tease, squeezing his hand. "I mean what were you thinking letting Finn---"
"I'm not going into this again, he wanted to do it and who am I to say no?" Tommy replies with a light laugh. "That would make both of us a hypocrite."
"We were more mature at the time..."
"Oh really? That's what you call maturity?" Tommy questions amused, as we swiftly move through the crowd as the song begins to end.
"We may have broken a few things but there's no harm done." I state, letting Tommy spin me one last time before a slower song comes on and we match our dancing to the rhythm.
"Sure, no harm done." He mocks me with a laugh, which makes me laugh.
Thomas sways us through the bunches of people as we lapse into a comfortable silence, settling into our own worlds.
"I think I'm falling in love with you, Cora." Tommy tells me, continuing to sway us as he looks deep into my eyes and it feels like he's looking into my soul.
All I can do is smile.
"Yeah? You think?" I chuckle and he matches my smile.
"Mm." He hums, with a nod.
"That's alright, because I think I'm falling in love with you, too." I reply, causing him to break out into the biggest smile.
We pause our moving, standing still amongst all the other couples dancing. Tommy cups my face with his hands and goes to kiss me. "What about your family?" I question, when were mere inches away.
He smiles. "Fuck 'em, they all practically know anyway."
I reply by closing the gap between us, kissing my best friend in the middle of the dance floor as couples dance around us whilst we're stood still, in the midst of his brother's wedding. Tommy's thumb brushes my cheekbone gently as we stand in our own bubble, oblivious to what's going on around us, smiling into our kiss.
"I love you, Cora Witton." Tommy utters, pressing his forehead against mine with a smile.
"I love you, Tommy Shelby." I utter back, kissing him again which makes my toes curl.
"What do you say we finish this dance, get a little drunk, and then go home?" Tommy suggests, tucking some hair behind my ear. "If you can handle Linda's stare that long that is because from where I'm looking, she doesn't look that happy that we stole the spotlight from her on her wedding day." Tommy chuckles, looking over my shoulder at his family.
I look over at them too, seeing how they look shocked yet look like they expected it, and I meet Linda's glare, happy at how I've pissed her off.
"You're such an attention whore." I joke, looking back at Tommy.
"You know it." He smirks and begins to sway us again.
It feels like everything I've ever worked for in my life has led up to this moment. This is what I get after years of struggling, and fuck is it worth it.
"I want this song to play at our wedding."
"Oh, we're getting married now are we?" I chuckle fondly, liking the sound of that.
"If all goes to plan, yeah."
471 notes · View notes
inkandpen22 · 4 years ago
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Permanent Chaos (5/?)
Pairing: MGK x Female!Reader
Word Count: 2.4k
Warnings: none
Part Summary: Colson and Y/N talk over coffee and Colson shows her a hint of what it’s like to be a part of his world. 
Masterlist
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The Starbucks in the courtyard has since emptied out with everyone having to return to work after their breaks. Colson and I are two of the only remaining people inside. My hands are wrapped around cup, it’s nice and warm. I had to remove the lid to cool down the substance. We’ve been going back and forth, sharing facts about ourselves. 
"Have you always wanted to be an actress?” 
Studying the dark brown drink in my cup I recall memories from before I moved here.“No, in all honesty. I never saw myself as an actress.” 
He doesn’t try to hide his surprise. His stunned reaction makes me giggle. 
"If you don’t mind me asking, why do you do it then?” 
I sway my head from side to side. “It sorta just worked out. I was out shopping with my mom one day when I was in high school. Nicole approached us. She was in town on business and encouraged me to at least visit Los Angeles so we could set up a meeting. The next thing I knew I was in auditions and I got my part on The Seasons of Life a few months later.” 
“Wow,” his brows remain raised as he glances down at his drink. “If you weren’t acting what would you be doing?”
Sitting up straight, I remember what I once thought was my dream life. “First I would go to college and…” I wave my hand, dismissing the thought. 
Colson presses for me to say it. “you’d what? Come on!” He chuckles, grinning brightly. 
Rolling my eyes, I tell him. “I’d go to art school.” I bite my lip timidly. “Yeah... that would be nice.” I pick at the cardboard wrap on the cup. 
There’s a comfortable silence between us until I change the subject. “Enough about me! What about you? If you weren’t a singer, where would be right now?” 
He looks over in the distance, almost envisioning where his life would be. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else,” he shrugs but is pleased, “I’ve always loved music. Being in music allows me to do what I love.” 
I nod, almost impervious of him and his contentment. 
“However,” he adds pointing at me. “If it were up to my parents, I would have some office job probably.” 
"Eh, those jobs are so bland. I vote you stick to concerts," I giggle. 
He laughs and it’s contagious. 
My gaze lands on his arm as he reaches for his coffee. His entire arm is covered in ink. I was taught by my parents to despise tattoos. My mom would say, “why would anyone ever be willing to damage their body like that?” Finn jumped on that bandwagon. Whatever Mom says is considered fact to him. For the longest time, I agreed with them. That is until I met Colson. He was made to have tattoos. 
 I’ve seen many people in this city with tattoos but his aren’t just markings for the body, they’re art. 
“Which one are you interested in?” He questions, watching me as I admire them. 
“All of them,” I mumble, examining each one individually in awe. 
Back where I’m from tattoos are frowned upon quite frankly. When you grow up in a place no different than Pleasantville, that’s what you get. Especially, in South Carolina. 
“Do you have any?” He asks with amusement in his voice. 
I shake my head rapidly, “never in a million years!” Comprehending how he could take my response as an insult I’m quick to explain. “I mean, I would never be allowed.” 
His brows scrunch together. "Never been allowed? You’re an adult. Who’s stopping you?” 
I can’t help but snicker a little. If only it was as simple as he makes it sound. “My parents, brother, Nicole, Steph..." 
Colson narrows his eyes at me as he leans forward in his chair. “You��re your own person. You should be able to make your own decisions.” His argument is lacking and quite frankly too optimistic. 
“It’s complicated…” My eyes fall onto my fingers picking at the cardboard rim of my coffee cup. 
“If you say so… except all of them are keeping you from expressing yourself.” 
I roll my eyes as my lips form a smirk. It’s unbelievable, he makes everything sound so black and white. “You’ll never understand,” I conclude. 
“I understand more than you think.” 
Lifting my eyes up, he stares at me with a sincere expression. 
“Prove it,” I challenge him. 
Based on the change of his features, I have given him exactly what he wants.
"If you say so, Princess," he chuckles, rising from his chair. I stare at him in confusion and he offers me his hand. "You coming?" 
I smirk, slipping my hand into his. He grins and bites down on his lower lip. I'm going to regret this. 
_______________________________________________
Driving around with a guy I’m only acquainted to is completely unlike me. Everyone who knows me would be beyond freaked out at the current scene. It's kind of riveting. 
“We’ve been driving for almost an hour," I snicker. 
“It’ll be worth it, trust me!” 
“Where exactly are we going?” 
“The mystery is half the fun!” Colson enjoys the antics. 
I reach forward and change the radio station. Yungblud's "Parents" plays and I leave it. "Love this song," I mumble to myself. 
Colson glances over me, evidently surprised. "You know Dom's music?" 
"What? Just because you view me as a 'goody-two-shoes' doesn't mean I live under a rock." I giggle and hold my finger for him to wait a second. He chuckles. I begin to rap the lyrics from memory. "Yeah, the teacher fucked the preacher. But then he had to leave her. Had to wash away the sins of a male cheerleader. Hi, nice to meet ya, got nothing to believe in. So let me know when my breathing stops!" 
Colson turns up the volume to blasting and we then shout the chores together. I can’t remember the last time I had the chance to drive with the windows down, blasting music, and acting my age. I’ve forgotten what’s it like to just be a young girl, not working all the time. 
Once the song fades out, he turns down the volume. 
"So, she can rap too!" Colson looks at me, rather impressed. 
I dismiss his compliment with a wave of my hand. "Only if I've listened to a song a dozen times." 
"Not gonna lie, that was hot," he chuckles. 
Warmth rushes to my cheeks and I struggle not to smile. My head rests against the window as I watch the ocean become a blur as we drive down the PCH. 
_______________________________________
Colson drives down the road until there’s a dead end. To my surprise and then confusion, he parks the car. 
“We’re here!" He announces before jumping out of the car. 
There’s nothing here. Bushes, sad-looking trees, and dirt. I watch as he walks over to a clearing between some bushes. 
He peers over his shoulder. “You coming?” 
I take a deep breath and swing open the door. Following him to wherever we are, I spot a sign. 
                                   No Trespassing! 
“Hey Colson, that sign said no trespassing. We should go back.” 
He doesn’t even slow down as he walks down a weak path. “I’ve seen it, they never do anything.” 
With every passing moment, this road trip becomes more and more out of my comfort zone. Nicole and my entire team for that matter have guided me to prefer the indoors these past few years. I can’t remember the last time I spent an entire day outside in nature or not following a schedule. 
There’s a light at the end of the tunnel when the brush ends and the path opens up to a clearing. The sound of waves hitting the cliff before us echoes throughout the area. 
I cautiously step closer to the edge and look down to the bottom. “Wow!” I say to myself breathlessly. 
Colson peers down to the shoreline beside me. He then suddenly removes his jacket and moves on to his shirt. 
My jaw drops and I quickly direct my attention to the coastline far from him. I bring my hand to the side of my face shyly, blocking my sight of him undressing. “What the hell are you doing?” 
He chuckles behind me. I’m glad he can find so much amusement in my discomfort. “Cliff diving!” He says a matter of factly. 
“What! No you couldn’t! It’s illegal in these parts! You could get killed!” 
“Or, I’ll jump, have loads of fun and do it again!” He debates. 
I huff, crossing my arms over my chest. “Fine, you live out your death wish. I won’t be participating!” Whipping around and avoiding even sharing a short glance with him, I stomp toward the direction we came. 
He drops his shirt on top of his jacket in the grass and jogs to catch up to me. He squeezes my shoulder, using the other hand to plea with me. I whip my head around to face him. That's when I notice his tattoo-covered chest. 
“Oh let’s do it, Princess!" He encourages. "It’ll be thrilling! An adventure! Reckless! Something different!” 
Did he just call me Princess? No one has ever called me that and he has twice now. 
Colson takes my hand into both of his and I’m thrown off by the action.  “Be spontaneous with me,” he requests softly. 
Currently, I’m debating with myself. The youthful part of me is screaming ‘hell yes! Let’s do this!’ The businesswoman part of me is wiser than to take such a risk. I check over at the edge again. My willingness to do such a rebellious action is new to me. There’s no one here to see us. Paparazzi isn’t around to take pictures. Perhaps the cause of my newfound bravery is because of him. 
I take a deep breath and nod. “Okay, let’s do it.” 
As if he already knew I would eventually accept, his grin only grows. 
“Well then, I suggest you strip unless you prefer to sit around like a wet dog for the hour ride back.” He winks at me, biting his lower lip. 
In a normal case, I would be insulted by such a forward request but considering where we stand I find it humorous. After thoroughly checking the area for any cameras or strangers, I slip my dress over my head then kick off my wedges. An odd feeling stirs in my stomach and my heart is pounding. My comfort zone is shot to hell. 
Tossing my hair up in a ponytail, Colson scans my appearance. 
“Excuse me Mr. Baker, it’s not nice to stare,” I tease, yanking at my finished ponytail to tighten it. 
Unfazed, he snaps out of it and faces the shore. His hair wisps around in the breeze, falling over his face. The perfect strands are just as light as his eyes. His jawline could cut a diamond. His skin, as smooth as porcelain but covered in various tattoos. 
“Excuse me Miss Voss, it’s not nice to stare,” he repeats my words back to me. 
I snap out of my daze. “Wasn’t staring,” I argue, now turning towards the coast. 
“Nothing to be ashamed of, I know I'm hot.” His lips curve into a loose smirk. 
My time with him is often one big eye roll. I slowly approach the edge of the cliff, peering over. 
“Nervous?” He checks, looking down at the water for himself. 
“Nope." I lie. 
“Scared?” 
“No.” 
“Have you jumped from a cliff before?” 
I exhale deeply. “No.” 
He shifts his body to face me and I flicker my eyes to the side to meet his gaze. 
“And you’re not afraid?” He checks. 
“Not at all,” I admit without hesitation. 
He snickers, whether it be because he’s impressed or he doesn’t believe me. “How come?” 
I shrug, a brief hum for an answer escaping me. “The unknown doesn’t scare me, only challenges me… and I love a challenge,” I wink with a sly grin. 
His warm hand interlocks with mine and I nearly yank mine away yet because of the non-threatening look in his eyes, I stay. In fact, a part of me likes the feeling of his large hand in mine. It makes me feel safer than I have in quite some time. 
“On three” he exhales, staring off into the distance. 
I nod. 
“One," he counts. “Two...”
I exhale. I can't believe I'm doing this! 
"Three!" Colson shouts. 
I jump. Out of instinct, I squeeze Colson’s hand tighter. My voice travels in a scream as the two of us fall towards the crystal blue surface. He was right, this is such a rush! We torpedo into the water and the cold temperatures engulf me. Colson and I lose touch at some point then I kick to the surface. Wiping the excess water from my face, Colson pops up from under the water in front of me. Somehow even when wet and disheveled his hair still appears effortlessly pristine. 
“Wasn't that a rush!” His arm snakes around my waist. 
A part of me is begging for me to protest but I suppress that part of me. Instead, I rest my arms over his shoulders. He takes the opportunity to guide my legs around his waist. Shading my eyes from the sun with my hand I measure the height of where we jumped. 
Still struggling to catch my breath, I can’t help but smile widely. “It was a one-time opportunity!” 
“That’s up to you to decide!” he argues wittily. 
I lower my hand and his blue eyes see right through me. My eyes flicker down to his lips and impulsively, I slam my lips to his. I'm not sure what comes over me, but I needed to kiss him. Colson wastes no time, bringing a hand behind my head, deepening the kiss. We break apart only to catch our breath. 
“I believe you’ll prove to be a bad influence,” I say lightheartedly but between the lines with the utmost seriousness. 
“That depends on how you look at it,” he argues, his breathing inconstant.
Hungrily, he brings his lips back to mine and I melt into it. Colson is everything that’s bad for me. He’s an indulgence that’s disguising itself as a need. He’s toxic and I’m ignoring the warnings. The warmth of his palm radiates onto my face as he cups it. 
Against my lips, he grins. “You were spontaneous! Always be spontaneous!” His words, nearly sounding like a beg, settle in me. 
His crystal blues eyes stare into mine and I can’t help but be addicted. I'm falling for a fairytale.
________________________________________
Masterlist
Tags:  @canyoubuymetoast​ @bri-3530 @asil1652 @andstilltryingtofindmyself @nadia2021 @olafsidehoe @mgkobsessed @fairywriting101 @ferrell-cat @naylanae-0308 @tonystarkswife10 @alexsa56 @brocksbabyyy @stormrider505 @magnificenthumancopangel @sarcasticfangirlus @lilramencup95beech @missyviolet123 @skeleton-gxrl @glitterybearllamaflap @margaritaville20 @amoresixx @thysagclub​ @hockeybabe87​
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anna-kendrick · 4 years ago
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holding my breath ('til i can say all of the words i wanna say)
Beca goes home with Chloe for thanksgiving.
For @beca-mitchell​
Read on AO3, or below.
Chloe regrets asking the moment it comes out of her mouth.
“Come home with me.”
It's not that she doesn't want to bring Beca—her wonderful and loving girlfriend of over a year—home to visit her family, it's more the fact of how do you tell your wonderful and loving girlfriend of over a year that you didn't actually tell your parents that you two were dating because they're homophobic.
Yeah, she has a slight problem.
Chloe wasn't even sure if Beca would even say yes to begin with. It's her third year at Barden, and her third thanksgiving that she'd be spending on campus. Rather than taking a trip back to Seattle to visit her mother, Beca had explained that she prefers her alone time in the comfort of her room, away from all the reminders of her rocky childhood. Chloe gets it.
But more selfishly than not wanting to leave her girlfriend back in Atlanta alone—aka with most of the Bellas and very much not alone—Chloe didn't want to spend a week away from Beca. That's what brings them to this very moment.
Beca’s clearly taken aback by the question, and Chloe finds the slight blush that's creeping across her cheeks absolutely adorable.
“You're serious?” This is her out, Chloe thinks. Make it sound less appealing, tell her the truth, or just completely take back the offer and—
“Totes serious.” Well fuck.
The smug grin that grows on Beca’s face is enough to vanish all her worries for the moment. Chloe’s quick to reflect one back as Beca pulls her in for a kiss, a version of a ‘yes’ in her own, sweet language.
When Beca mumbles an “I love you,” against her lips, Chloe feels her knees go weak.
***
She doesn't bring it up.
It's sitting in the back of her mind at all times in the weeks following, but she doesn't bring it up.
Beca's seemingly excited to go on this trip to Portland. She says she's never been, and Chloe finds herself looking forward to showing her all of the places where she grew up. She ignores it when Beca tells her that she's excited to see her parents again, and jokingly teases her that she thinks they like her better.
Beca really has no idea.
It's on their final descent when Chloe realizes her mistake. She feels Beca’s hand squeeze in her own, looking over to see her wearing a soft smile—one of comfort and warmth—as if Beca could read her mind. She wishes it were true, it would make things so much easier.
But Beca simply mouths ‘you’re okay,’ and attributes Chloe’s nervous energy to flight anxiety. That’s truly the least of her worries right now, honestly the plane crashing to the ground seems like it could be a better scenario to what she’s going to have to do. Easier, and chances are less painful, too.
Beca squeezes her hand again, waiting for Chloe to squeeze back—their own little form of communication, a way for Chloe to say ‘I’m okay,’ without saying it aloud. Chloe shakes herself from her morbid thoughts, and kisses Beca’s cheek instead, before nuzzling herself into Beca’s shoulder. She feels herself relax slightly as Beca drops her head onto hers, and lets out a quiet hum.
She knows she's messed up. She goes over all the possible outcomes in her head as she watches other passengers deboard the plane. It's the one where she breaks Beca’s trust, and her heart that sticks out the most to her.
Beca never lets go of her hand as they walk off the plane. Chloe can hear her speaking, probably talking about all the new music ideas she thought of on their long flight over, but she can't make out any of the words—she's too lost in her own mind.
“Chlo?” She’s snapped out of her non stop reel of scenarios when Beca stops in place, tilting her head in concern. Beca knows her so well, it makes her want to cry. “You okay?”
“Yeah, just tired.” She lies, and offers a smile. It seems to satisfy Beca, who grins back and squeezes her hand again gently before going to resume their trail to the baggage claim.
This is it. She has to do it.
“Bec, wait—” Her voice catches in her throat when Beca looks back, eyes full of questions and concern—so patient and so loving. She thinks she might throw up.
She lets go of Beca’s hand.
“They don't know you’re my girlfriend. Please don't tell them, I’m sorry.” Chloe takes a deep breath, fighting back her tears, because God forbid she cries in the middle of this damn airport.
One glance at Beca’s face and her heart feels like it's being crushed inside her chest. She can't say anything else, she can't even look at her.
“Um— Our bags, lets go get our bags.”
***
They meet Chloe’s parents outside of the airport about a half hour later, the silence that had been deafening between her and Beca finally breaking.
Alice greets Beca with a smile and a tight hug. “We’re so happy Chloe was able to talk you into coming home with her.”
“She didn’t have to say much, I’m glad to be here. Thanks for letting me stay with you guys.” Beca says it so sincerely, it only makes Chloe feel worse.
“Please, Beca, you know you’re a part of the family. You can visit anytime, even without this one here.” Dale points to Chloe, giving Beca a wink and one of his signature Beale smiles. Beca giggles and looks over to her Chloe with a soft smile.
Chloe turns to look out the window instead.
The drive to the Beale family home is longer than Chloe remembers—louder too, as her dad sings along obnoxiously to the songs on the radio, and her thoughts continue to echo inside of her head. Beca’s more silent than usual though, and Chloe takes the risk of glancing over to check on her.
Beca’s the one peering out the window now, headphones plugged in as she listens to her own music. It almost makes Chloe smile, just seeing Beca next to her, as they drive through her hometown. The feeling is fleeting however, as Chloe takes note of Beca chewing the skin on her thumb—a nervous habit most likely brought on by all of the shit Chloe sprung on her at the airport. She wants nothing more than to reach over and pull her hand away, entangle their fingers together and squeeze Beca’s hand tightly.
She meets her mothers gaze in the mirror, and immediately realizes how bad of an idea this was.
***
It’s later that night—after Chloe had spent ten minutes convincing, more like begging, her mother to let Beca sleep in her room upstairs and not in the basement
(“It’s freezing down there. I’ll just make a bed for myself on the floor.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Chloe.”)
—that Beca finally broaches the subject.
“Chloe?” She hears Beca whisper through the dark. She lays silently, debating whether or not she should answer, or pretend to be asleep and hope that Beca lets it go—she already knows what she's about to ask.
“Baby, I know you're awake.” She could insist that she is asleep—continue to hold her breath and fight back the tears that are already pricking from behind her eyelids—but she knows that Beca knows her better than anyone else, knows that Beca’s worried about her from the way that her hand now softly brushes through her hair.
“Chlo—”
“Yeah, I'm awake.” Chloe whispers, rolling around to face her girlfriend. She feels the guilt swirl in her stomach immediately with just one look at the sad eyes in front of her.
She knew it was coming, but when Beca mumbles “Why didn't you tell them? I—I don't mean to pry, I’m sorry, I just—Are you okay?” tears immediately spill from her eyes, and she has to choke back the sob that threatens to come out.
It makes her heart clench to think about how far her and Beca have come since that day at the activities fair. It had taken so long to get Beca to open up to her, to even just accept a hug from her. It makes her sick to think about how disappointed her parents would be if they walked in on the two of them at this moment—their daughter wrapped up in her girlfriends arms as Beca continues to rub her back soothingly.
She feels so fucking guilty. A disappointment to both her family, and towards the woman she loves. She hates herself for it.
Beca's hands feel so soft against her cheeks as she holds them and lightly brushes her tears away. It's dark in the room, but she can still clearly make out Beca’s features in the moonlight that spills in from the window. Beca looks beautiful, she looks sad, but she’s so beautiful.
“I didn't know how to tell you.” Her voice sounds unrecognizable to her own ears, it's raspy with tears, and she can hear the lie within her own speech. It's not that she didn't know how to, it's that she didn't want to.
How was she supposed to tell her best friend—her girlfriend—that her parents would hate her? How was she supposed to explain that yes, they had met her before and treated her like a second daughter, but as soon as they found out Beca was more than just a friend, they'd look at her with pure disgust and detest? How was she supposed to bring that up in a conversation where Beca’s telling her that her father has been putting more effort in, that he's happy for the two of them and that he’d like to have both over for dinner one night?
She's never wanted Beca to feel as if she was a secret, that their blooming relationship was something that Chloe was ashamed of. And now, Chloe doesn't even know why she invited Beca here in the first place, because while reserved, Beca’s the proudest of their relationship, and she can see it in her face right now how much she's hurting.
Chloe knows it's her fault.
“I'm not mad at you.” Beca's smiling softly at her—a sad smile—one of encouragement, or one to try to deter the situation, because she knows that Chloe’ll be upset if Beca shows that she’s upset, Chloe doesn't know. She doesn’t really care either, she just wants to go home. Atlanta home, away from this life she had so happily left behind.
What she does know, is that Beca is one of the most patient, and selfless people she's ever met. She knows she doesn't have to say anything, that she could simply ignore the situation entirely, tell Beca that she's tired, and it'd get dropped. She knows Beca wouldn't push her if she wasn't ready to tell her.
But she also knows that Beca deserves an answer.
“They would hate me if they found out, Bec.” She realizes that it's been a while since she admitted this dark secret of hers aloud. Not since her first year at Barden, when she confided in Aubrey over a bottle of cheap wine.
“It's not that I'm not proud to be with you, I promise. It's just that— I’m scared to lose them. I don't want to lose you, but I can't lose them either, Beca. I'm so sorry.”
She's crying again—she doesn't know if she ever really stopped—but Beca’s soft lips are soon pressed against hers; familiar, comforting, safe.
“You'd never lose me.” Beca whispers against her lips in between kisses, and it's like a blanket of warmth courses through Chloe’s body. It's still crazy to her how in the midst of feeling so sad and confused, Beca can make her feel so loved, make her thoughts that had just moments ago felt so jumbled, suddenly so clear.
“I will tell them.” She states, breaking apart from Beca’s kiss, nodding her head in affirmation.
“You don't have to.”
“I will. Eventually, I will. Maybe not this week, but one day I will.” And Beca’s smile in response is enough for her to know that she’s supported, that Beca will hold her hand through it all.
“I think you're really brave, Chloe.” She doesn't expect that as a response, and she's ready to open her mouth and argue against Beca’s words—tell her that she doesn't feel brave at all—but Beca beats her to it. “No, you really are, and it's one of the things I love most about you. Thank you for telling me.”
There’s something about Beca Mitchell that Chloe finds so captivating. Perhaps it’s the way she smiles so genuinely and so lovingly at her, before she breaks out into a cheeky grin and pulls Chloe back in for another kiss. Maybe it’s the trust that she seems to give Chloe unconditionally, something that she’s seen Beca struggle with so much over the course of knowing her. Beca’s passion, loyalty, determination… Perhaps it’s just Beca’s big heart, that tends to tug on her own, and make her feel weak in the knees.
“You know I love you, right?” Chloe can tell Beca’s getting tired by the pure laziness that’s beginning to leak into her kisses, her heavy hands that are no longer roaming, but holding her close and still against her.
“You’ve told me a few times. I love you, too. I’m fucking exhausted, your family is insane. Sorry that was—”
“Bec, it’s okay.” Chloe laughs softly squeezing Beca’s hand that continues to lay softly on her hip. “They really are, you’re right. But I have you, I think I’m pretty lucky.”
“Oh, my God—you’re gross. So gross. Go to sleep or I’m moving down to the basement.”
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“Watch me.”
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jackrrabbit · 5 years ago
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it will come back [pt. 2] /// Yandere Shigaraki x f!Reader
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Summary: You have a bad habit of picking up strays, and the half-dead villain you find bleeding out in a dumpster is no exception. [Part 1] [Part 3]
A/N: Title from the Hozier song—“don’t let it in with no intention to keep it / jesus christ, don’t be kind to it / oh honey don’t feed it / it will come back.”
Tags/warnings: yandere, violence (not directed toward reader), crying, Shiggy REALLY likes you, reader needs a friend and a good night’s sleep, non-explicit sexual content. [In later parts: 18+, sex, other stuff]
He—Tomura—keeps visiting.
At first you think it’s because of the free medical care, and you wish you had the spine to tell him to suck it up and go see a professional. After a couple weeks turn into a couple months and his wounds fade into ragged purple scars, though, you start to think differently.
Within a short time Tomura has figured out your work schedule, and he does a decent job of not showing up after your long shifts. The unavoidable consequence of this is that he ends up monopolizing your precious days off, but you come to the realization about a month and a half in that you don’t actually mind. You like it. It’s like spending time with a friend.
Mostly you guys talk. It doesn’t seem like Tomura really has anyone to talk to the way the two of you do, but that’s probably just you projecting. It’s usually shallow stuff—TV shows you like, video games he plays, funny stories from patients you treated. Sometimes when you’re cooking for yourself, you make extra for him. (It happens a lot, actually, and at one point you bring up how much his appetite is costing you and the next time you see him he brings a bag of rice and makes you a porridge that crunches between your teeth when you try to eat it. You can’t finish yours, but he eats an entire bowl and insists that you’re being picky.)
Sometimes he sleeps over on the couch, but he’s always gone when you wake up.
The two of you skirt around the heavier stuff, and you know it’s intentional on his part. You have to resist the urge to ask him about being a villain—he’s all but confirmed it for you, and it’s human nature to be curious, isn’t it? In the same way you can’t help looking at a car crash, you want to poke and prod and find out what it is, exactly, that Tomura does for a living. That part of his life is suspiciously absent from your discussions—if you didn’t know better, you’d think he spends all of his time sleeping and playing games and breaking into your place.
On the other hand, you don’t want to know. Plausible deniability. You can accept criminality in the abstract, but you’ve treated too many victims of the bullshit hero–villain battle to be comfortable really knowing why Tomura avoids public places.
So you don’t ask about it, and Tomura doesn’t tell, and you don’t look up his name. And it’s easy. It’s nice. You’d forgotten what it’s like to come back to a home that isn’t empty.
And then one day when you get off a few hours early from your shift, you stop by a convenience store to pick up some snacks for yourself (hey, you’ve been working hard, you’re entitled to binge a little on foods that you’re afraid to look at the fat content for), and you think, Hm, I wonder if Tomura wants some.
[You: 7:49 PM] > Are you coming over today? [T: 7:49 PM] > Yeah why [You: 7:51 PM] > Getting snacks > Want some? [T: 7:51 PM] > No
[T: 8:12 PM] > When r u coming back to ur place
[T: 8:58 PM] > Hey where are you
[T: 9:39 PM] > (Y/N)?
There’s a man with a gun in the convenience store.
It takes you a second to process at first. You’re standing in the snack food aisle seeking out Oreos and debating the merits of Double Stuf vs. Mega when you catch the mumbled demand and the metallic clicking noise you’ve only ever heard in movies before. It’s a gun—you know that, but your mind dismisses it because it’s ridiculous. Guns are rare in hero society. People don’t go around robbing bodegas at gunpoint anymore.
(You should know better. You work in a goddamn ER. But you compartmentalize, and the crimes you see written across your patients’ bodies stay out of the realm of your personal life because you need them to.)
It’s only when you see the muzzle of a hunting rifle pushed up to the cashier’s sweaty neck that you really understand what’s happening.
You drop to the ground immediately, looking toward the exit but it’s shut and there’s some kind of metal…thing holding the door closed. The cashier mumbles a denial and you can hear him fumble around with the cash drawer for what feels like ages.
It’s real. This is real. You’re in the middle of a robbery. Where are the heroes? Why isn’t anyone doing anything?
God, you’re a hypocrite, cowering behind the aisle divider and waiting for someone to step up while the robber’s demands get increasingly louder and more frantic. He wants money, and the cashier (who, you remember, is a man in his sixties with hands that shake with Parkinson’s when he holds out your receipt) isn’t being fast enough.
“That’s it? There’s no more? Are you fucking kidding me, there’s gotta be a safe or something—“
“No! No, p-please, I’m sorry, this is all I have!”
You cringe, crushing your eyes closed as if that will make it go away. You’re surprised you can hear at all over the sound of your blood rushing in your ears.
“Don’t fuck with me old man, I know there’s more! Show me the safe or I’ll blow your goddamn brains out!”
No! You have to do something. You can’t just sit here. You’ve heard plenty of death threats from your patients (not to mention that one from Tomura), and you know the difference between a bluff and a serious warning. Maybe you can catch the robber off guard, try to pull the gun away? You stand up quickly, hoping against hope that you won’t regret this, but in a split second you see that the cashier has the same idea and he’s trying to pull the rifle out of the robber’s hand and—
BANG.
Something warm and wet splatters across your face.
///
Tomura is angry when you get back to the apartment. As soon as he hears your key in the lock he rises from your couch so he can grab your collar with three fingers, jerking your head up to force you to look at him. “Where have you been? Do you know how long I’ve been waiting—“
But he cuts short in the middle of his sentence. Maybe because he sees the look on your face. Or maybe he just notices the traces of blood you haven’t been able to wipe off.
“What happened,” Tomura says. It’s not a question. He adjusts his grip slightly so it’s not quite as punishing, but you hold still anyway.
You have to force your mouth open in order to speak, but when your voice comes out it’s more steady than you thought it would be. “It’s not my blood. There was a robbery at the store. The cashier got shot.”
“Oh.” He releases you and frowns. “That’s it?”
“Fuck you.” You push past him into the kitchen to get yourself a drink with trembling hands. Pantry’s out of shōchū, whiskey will just make you sicker—ahh, there it is. Baijiu. The glug glug glug of the liquor into the glass does nothing to put your nerves at ease, but you pour yourself a double anyway.
“Wait—wait.” Tomura’s hands twitch and rub over his arms like he’s trying to stop himself from grabbing you by the shoulders and shaking you. “Calm down. Why are you so upset? Don’t you see this stuff every day?”
You do. You’re an ER nurse. There’s no injury you haven’t seen. But it’s not about the blood. “I...I knew him. The cashier. He was nice. He had a grandkid on the way. I—“ You bite your lip and down the baijiu in one gulp. It burns.
Tomura clearly doesn’t know how to comfort you; probably doesn’t even really know why you need to be comforted. What does it mean that death is so meaningless to him? you wonder. But you need someone to listen to you, clueless or not, and Tomura will have to do.
The baijiu is still bitter and hot down your throat when you speak again. “You know something? Know what they asked me when the heroes finally showed up and pulled us out of there, me and the corpse?”
“…What?” Tomura asks warily.
“They stuck a camera in my face and asked me if there was anything I wanted to say to the hero who saved me. Any words of gratitude I wanted to share,” you spit. Now it’s your turn to feel your hands making fists at your sides. Your fingernails scratch into your palms like the pain can be an outlet for the sudden overwhelming fury spilling over you. “They didn’t save him. They were too late.”
Tomura’s eyes widen, and through your curtain of anger you can tell he’s looking at you in a way he’s never looked at you before. It’s unlike him to even look directly at you, and when he does it’s usually in disinterest or half-sincere irritation. This, though…this is different. He’s watching you like a believer watches a prophet. You can tell—or at least some deep, ugly part of you that you hope is wrong can tell—that he’s trying not to smile.
“I hate this,” you say, and the first tear drips out of your eye and runs down your cheek. It’s awful. You don’t want to cry in front of Tomura. You don’t want to show him how weak you are. But before you can wipe it away, Tomura’s hand comes up and does it for you, smearing the tear over your cheek in a gesture that—for him—is oddly tender.
Then he hugs you.
It’s stiff and awkward, like he’s forgotten how to do it, but the intention is clear. His arms fold around your back, pulling you into his chest while his chin makes its way to rest on your shoulder. He’s leaning into you so deeply that your spine is arched back, and you stagger away from him only for him to step closer again to make up the distance.
“It’s not fair, hm,” he murmurs into your hair. His tone is the closest thing to sympathy you’ve ever heard from him, but there’s an undercurrent of excitement you can’t ignore. “They’re always too late, aren’t they? The heroes… And everyone will watch that video of you thanking the heroes, and they’ll think they’re safe too. They’ll keep going about their lives and think that nothing bad can happen to them because a hero will always be around to save them…but you and I know that’s a lie.”
It takes you a second to recognize the emotion that’s raising goosebumps over your arms while Tomura rubs circles into your back, but when it clicks you shiver because it’s fear. You’ve never really been afraid of Tomura before, even when you should’ve been. Does he realize he’s backing you up with how forcefully he’s pushing himself into you? The backs of your knees hit the arm of your couch and you topple onto it with Tomura following.
He holds himself above you on his hands, legs tangled with yours. His eyes are wild and he’s not even trying to suppress his grin now. You’re trapped lying on your back under him—pinned like a butterfly under glass.
“Get off of me,” you say as calmly as you can.
“It’s all a lie, all of it…” A hand comes up and strokes your cheek, rubbing with two fingers at a stray fleck of blood on your neck. “I’m sorry it had to be like this, but I’m so glad you understand…”
“Let me up now, Tomura.”
He holds still for a long moment—waiting, thinking, considering—and then sits up, still straddling you but loosely enough that you can scramble back away from him on the couch. Your heart is racing, but you try to slow your breaths so he doesn’t pick up on how scared you are.
“Don’t freak out. You’re no fun,” Tomura says, and you exhale a sigh of relief at how normal he sounds. You never thought you’d be so happy about him looking at you like you’re nothing.
“I think you should go,” you say carefully.
He rocks back on his heels and runs a hand through his hair. “Are you mad? I thought I could stay here tonight, like usual. Since I waited for so long.”
“I’m not mad. I just…want to be alone.”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be alone tonight. Not after what you’ve been through.”
Oh, now you care. “Fine. Okay? Fine. You can sleep on the couch.” You’re too tired to argue any more, and you’ve never really been good at convincing Tomura to do anything he doesn’t want to. It’s a miracle he listened to you when you told him to get off you. Considering how often he breaks into your apartment, it’s not like you could keep him out anyway.
So he stays the night. He doesn’t bother you when you take a shower and go to bed, he just lies on the couch in his street clothes. When you wake up in the morning he’s disappeared like he always does, and for the first time since you met him you’re truly relieved that he’s gone.
///
You always thought it would take some level of courage you don’t possess to actually bite the bullet and look Tomura up. To do so would mean saying goodbye to whatever strange relationship the two of you have built over the months, and you’re just not brave enough to risk it.
Turns out it’s not courage that makes you type his name into the search bar. It’s cowardice. You’re lying in bed under the covers when you do it, and the blue-white screen of your laptop is the only light in the room. Your comforter is pulled up almost over your head like it’s a wall that can block out reality.
“tomura”, you enter into the search bar, but you don’t hit return. Instead, you look at the search suggestions.
> tomura shigaraki > tomura shigaraki league of villains > tomura shigaraki decay
Something about it sounds familiar. But you’re not ready. Still, after everything, you’d rather keep your eyes closed. You backspace and snap your laptop shut, and when you do your room is so dark that you think the emptiness might swallow you up.
///
[T: 5:52 PM] > Are u going to be at home tn
[T: 6:14 PM] > Hey check ur phone
[T: 6:42 PM] > Stop ignoring me > (Y/N) > (Y/N) > (Y/N) > (Y/N) > (Y/N)
[T: 6:46 PM] 3 MISSED CALLS [You: 6:50 PM] > I’m at work [T: 6:50 PM] > Don’t lie > you finished an hour ago
[T: 7:13 PM] 1 MISSED CALL [T: 7:14 PM] > You said you werent mad [You: 7:15 PM] > I’m not [T: 7:15 PM] > Then stop being a brat > im coming over > ill bring takeout
You’re nervous about seeing him, but in the two weeks since he pushed you down on the couch you’ve found yourself…missing him. Like it or not, he’s made himself a fixture in your life. So when you get home you’re brimming with anticipation, wondering who you’ll get when you open the door—the normal Tomura you’ve come to like over the past few months, or the one from that night. The villain.
But it’s just him. Good old Tomura, laden with plastic bags and containers of greasy fast food for the two of you to gorge yourselves on. You tease him for being cheap and he argues that you’re just a snob and everything seems so normal that you can almost forget the look in his red eyes when he told you that you understood.
Almost.
///
You probably have no idea how good you look when you’re crying.
Of the couple thousand views on the news channel video of your “rescue” from the convenience store robber, at least a tenth are from Tomura. Eventually he just downloads the video onto his computer so he doesn’t have to read the inane comments that the other viewers leave on the webpage. It seems like everyone but him thinks you should feel lucky that you were saved by a hero before the robber could get to you, too.
As always, the public are a bunch of shit-soaked morons. Reading the comments makes him angry, so angry he’s tempted to look into a few of these brainless sheep and see how lucky they feel when they’ve caught the attention of a violent criminal. But that wouldn’t be productive, so he saves the video externally and leaves the news website alone. It’s for the best. Besides, seeing the “views” counter on the website tick up and up by the dozen every time he refreshes is just another reminder that other people are watching this; other people are seeing how delicate and vulnerable and pretty you are with tears spilling out of your eyes and the cashier’s blood sprayed over your clothing.
Thousands of useless fucking NPCs are looking at you just like Tomura is. They’re probably thinking about how sweet you look, just like he is. And they’re probably imagining all the ways they can take advantage of your fragile emotional state, just like him.
You’re too trusting for your own good. Tomura used to think it was a virtue, and it is, but only when it comes to him. Whenever he thinks about how your face is slapped over a dozen different news websites for the whole world to see, he has to dig his fingernails into his neck to keep calm. It’s better when he can just watch the video and pretend he’s the only one seeing it.
And it’s not like not watching the video is an option. Tomura can’t resist your crying face. There’s a point around the three minute mark where your voice breaks in the middle of your statement, and sometimes Tomura skips there in the video just so he can hear that pathetic little sob and replay it over and over and over. Maybe it’s sappy, but Tomura really does feel his heart skip a beat at the way your eyes and nose are rubbed red from your misery.
How fucked up is it that he gets off watching you cry?
Would you be angry if you knew? You probably would, but you put up with so much from him already. Maybe you’d be okay with it if he told you he really and truly tried to hold out. The first dozen times Tomura watched the video, he refused to touch himself no matter how tight his pants got while you choked out your stilted answers to the reporters’ questions, but at this point he barely has to click “play” on the video before he gets hard and takes matters into his own hands.
At the end of the day, it’s your fault. Everything about you is so erotic, from your shaky voice to your pouty, bitten-red lips. Isn’t it completely normal to be aroused while looking at the person you like? And Tomura likes you, he really likes you. He doesn’t have any pictures of you, and with the high definition of the news channel’s video he can see every perfect contour of your cheekbones, every pore in your skin, every glistening wet eyelash.
It’s not that Tomura doesn’t feel sympathy for how upset you are in the video. He does! Not even just sympathy, even—he’s empathetic. He knows exactly how it feels to be let down by the heroes. How dare they tell you you need to be grateful while you’re still trying to wipe brain matter off your shirt? Always too little, too late. It’s not fair.
But if he’s being honest? As miserable as you are, Tomura is happy that you were in the store when that robber came in and that you had to watch a man you knew get his brains blown out in front of you. You need a wake-up call to lose faith in hero society. If you have to suffer some emotional trauma in the process, that seems like a fair price to pay.
And the fact that Tomura gets to jerk off to it? It’s almost like destiny.
➠ [Part 3]
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sass-and-suspenders · 4 years ago
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Inquiry
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GIF from plutoandpersephone
Pairing: Dr. Frederick Chilton x Reader
Author’s Note: In vain I have struggled …with the formatting of this story. Did I use html? Yes. Does it show up correctly when I preview it? Yes. Will it show up correctly when it’s posted? Knowing this website, probably not. I’m posting despite the (possibly) faulty formatting because I will snap like a stale rubber band if I have to fiddle around with it for a minute longer. That said, I hope you enjoy because this was fun to write (but not to format)
Frederick Chilton’s heart was beating far too quickly for something as mundane as writing an email. Normally, he could compose a message in a matter of minutes with little concern for how the recipient would react to his autocratic demands.
This time, however, you were on the receiving end.
And Frederick deeply cared what you thought.
It would have been easier if this was for a work-related matter. As the hospital administrator, Frederick often sent you updates about policy changes or questions regarding your patients. He wrote these emails effortlessly, addressing you like any other member of his staff while ignoring how his heart fluttered whenever your name appeared in his inbox. With the small exception of inquiries about your weekend (something Frederick never did with other employees), his correspondence to you remained strictly professional.
Until now.
It had taken months, but Frederick finally worked up the nerve to ask you on a date. It was non-traditional, asking someone out via email, but Frederick considered asking over the phone or in-person too risky; the chance of rejection was already high, he didn’t need to add to it by stumbling over his words or blushing in your presence like an imbecile. An email allowed Frederick time to organize his thoughts and select the right words to convey just how much you meant to him.
Writing may have been the safest medium, but it wasn’t the fastest. Fifteen minutes had elapsed and Frederick was still struggling with the salutation: ‘My dearest’ seemed too intimate, ‘Good afternoon’ too formal, ‘Ciao’ too pretentious, ‘Ahoy’ too …nautical.
Frederick fiddled with his pen and leaned back in his chair, refusing to acknowledge that he was out of his depth. His love life was preternaturally dormant, yes, but he was a man of science, not to mention a patron of the arts -he could write a simple email. He was just overthinking it, attaching too much significance to every word as if selecting the wrong one would result in rejection.
Sighing, Frederick left his desk to fetch some alcohol, a time-honoured cure for writer’s block. As he poured the amber liquid from the decanter, Frederick reassured himself of his literary prowess: he’d written a myriad of scientific articles, many of which won awards, and there was growing interest in a manuscript he was working on about the Chesapeake Ripper.
He sat back down at his desk with bolstered confidence and a glass of brandy. The opening still eluded him but, rather than dwell on it further, Frederick used a placeholder and began to work on the body of the email.
As he wrote, Frederick likened himself to a suitor in a Jane Austen novel confessing his fervent desire to his beloved. He only hoped that his prose would convince you to give him a chance since, considering the weather in Baltimore, he wouldn’t be strutting out of a lake anytime soon.
Inspired by this little reverie, Frederick soon finished. He took another sip of brandy before looking over what he had written.
To:
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Inquiry
[Insert salutation]
Ever since we met, I have ardently admired you. Your warmth, beauty, and quick wit are just some of the ways you brighten my day whenever I am graced with your presence. Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to dinner?
I await your reply with hopeful anticipation.
Yours,
Frederick
Satisfied, Frederick turned his attention to the greeting, lightly tapping his pen against his lips as he thought. It took a few moments, but Frederick finally settled on ‘Dear’, a classic opening. After switching out the salutation placeholder for ‘Dear’ followed by your name, Frederick read over the email one last time. He took a large drink of brandy before selecting your email address and pressing send.
Contrary to his belief, the beating in his chest didn’t slow once the email was dispatched. What if you rejected him? How would he bear to see you at work every day? Worse, what if you never responded, leaving him to perpetually wonder whether it was a silent rejection or a lost email?
The familiar ping of an email notification snapped Frederick out of his self-made purgatory. He took a few deep breaths, a half-hearted attempt to quell his rapid heartbeat, as he wondered whether it was a good sign that you responded so quickly. His eyes flicked to his inbox: there, sitting atop of messages from psychiatry journals and irksome colleagues, was a reply.
Only it wasn’t from you.
Frederick’s brow furrowed. Why was a nurse replying to the email he sent you? It didn’t take long after opening the email to realize his mistake: choosing the hospital’s listserv rather than your email address, effectively sending out his declaration of love to the entire hospital. He let out an almost inaudible whimper, knowing it was too late to retract the message.
Apparently, he could control the content of the message, but not its audience.
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Inquiry
Ask them out in-person, you insecure little weenie!
Frederick hastily deleted the email, but two more popped up in its place like some sort of electronic hydra. It didn't take long for the wolves to respond, and Frederick could only stare at the screen in horror as the replies began pouring in. He swore he could hear laughter in the hallway and began debating whether he should move out of the country or just the state. Depending on how widespread knowledge of his blunder became it may even be wise to leave the continent. Vienna was supposed to be nice this time of year.
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Inquiry
Girl, you can do better!
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
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Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
Please remove me from this list. Thanks
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
EVERYONE STOP REPLYING ALL!
 Sent from my iPhone
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
‘Ardently’? Who does Chilton think he is, Mr. Darcy?
 Gillian Coverly, M.D.
Psychiatry Resident, BSHCI
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
More like Mr. Collins, am I right? LOL
 Jonas Dhavernas
Security Services | 555-3193 ext. 0315
Frederick harrumphed (he was definitely not a Mr. Collins) and made a mental note to schedule those two for the night shift for the foreseeable future. However, his indignation quickly gave way to woe as he continued to scroll through the other emails in his inbox.
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
lol desperate much
 Luis Torres, PhD
Director of Forensic Psychiatry
(Tel.) 555-3193 ext. 0583 | (Cell) 555-2391 | (Fax) 555-8942
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
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Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
I’d like to remind everyone that this listserv is for work-related emails only.
Please be professional.
 Ralph Chlumsky, Patient Care Manager
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
SERIOUSLY STOP SENDING EMAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 Sent from my iPhone
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
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Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
As a member of HR, I would like to remind you that you are not obligated to say yes to a date just because Dr. Chilton is your superior.
Please let me know if you would like to file a complaint against him for harassment
Sincerely,
 Judith Mulrooney
Senior Human Resources Manager
(Tel.) 555-3193 ext. 3598
 Nothing is impossible. The word itself says ‘I’M POSSIBLE!’ – Audrey Hepburn
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
Can everyone please stop replying all? Our servers can’t handle the load and might crash if this continues.
Thanks,
Your friendly neighborhood IT Department
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
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Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
 Hi, can anyone give me a lift to work tomorrow? I’m in Federal Hill
From: ellen.ostrowski @bshci.com
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
Everyone please stop replying all! It’s not that hard, and IT said our server will crash if we keep on doing it!
 Warmest regards,
 Ellen Ostrowski
Administrative Assistant for Dr. Bryan Dancy
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
Ellen, your “everyone stop replying all message” was also a reply all!
Ugh, I work with IDIOTS!
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
Don’t get all high and mighty with me, Shawna, you also used reply all! Frankly, your use of reply all when the server is unstable is just what I’d expect from a lunch thief.
Warmest regards,
 Ellen Ostrowski
Administrative Assistant for Dr. Bryan Dancy
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
FOR THE LAST TIME I DID NOT STEAL YOUR LUNCH!
 A groan escaped Frederick’s lips. How could this have happened? He wasn’t a tech genius, but he kept au courant with the latest gadgets and even implemented smart technology throughout his house. Of course, there had been small mishaps in the past, like when his iPhone autocorrected his last name to ‘Chicken’ and he couldn’t stop it, but nothing of this magnitude. As much as he wanted to blame his snarky colleagues for his misery, he had only himself to blame.
His iPhone was right: he was a chicken.
Frederick was in the middle of researching jobs in Austria, the dramatic part of his brain having overpowered the rational part, when your name appeared in his inbox. His eyes flicked to the now empty glass of brandy on his right before clicking on your reply.
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
I would love to, Frederick. How about Friday?
-Your Elizabeth Bennet
P.S. Judith, no need to get HR involved
Frederick blinked, not quite believing it. Despite his cowardice, and the mortification which ensued, you’d said yes. A smile slowly spread across his face, unaffected by the multitude of emails flooding his inbox in reaction to your answer.
He was still smiling when the hospital’s servers crashed a few moments later.
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huihuiheart · 5 years ago
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Spiked - Minho
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Part of @clandestine-lixie ‘s Smutmas Collab and a great excuse to get some more Minho on my page! 
Summary: It’s pretty much tradition at this point that Changbin spikes the eggnog at the annual Christmas party. What happens though when secrets slip through drunk lips and aren’t forgotten the next morning? At least not forgotten by the very person you confessed to. 
Pairing: Minho x F! Reader
Warnings: Drinking (not drunk when having sex), drunken confessions?, cursing, some angst in the beginning, smut, lovemaking, unprotected sex (stay safe kids), oral (f! receiving), lots of petnames, moments where Minho is kinda smug, lots of praise, it’s sugary sweet, mild sir kink for a moment, fingering, some playful teasing.
I sincerely apologize but I haven’t had time to edit this yet, so...please excuse any errors and stuff I’ll be getting to those when I have some time. I wrote over half of this today with a migraine so we’re working on fumes here. Also if something seems off I apologize, I’ve never celebrated the holidays before so I honestly don’t know what Christmas is like....sorry.
Word Count: 4,992
“Awe don’t tell me you’re already finished taking bets? I haven’t even got mine in on how long before Changbin tries to get us all drunk.” You tease the rambunctious group in the living room as you remove your shoes by the door. Christopher joining you a moment later to help you with your coat, hanging it up for you as he often did. 
“Hey, don’t look so glum. Felix was just getting to the interesting wagers now anyways. Bets of any kind are in Minho’s care this evening. Gifts for tomorrow morning under the tree as always.”  Chris caught you up with where the ever excitable boys had already impatiently gotten up to, before stepping away with your coat so you could join the others.
“So what did I just miss then? You know the topic that had you all in a giggle fit?” You raise a brow as you claim a spot in their circle, between Minho and Hyunjin.
“Oh we were just discussing the last bet. Not that you’d be able to participate anyways seeing how it was about you.” Jisung smirks wickedly until you match his gaze with your own that was just as devious, making him fold in an instant, or so you think, “Just betting on whether we thought you’d stay the night or not this year.”
“That’s not interesting though, I stay practically every year cause I’m too drunk to go home alone and none of you will take me.” You chuckle shaking you head, “ A better bet would be who will get drunk the fastest, my money’s on Hyunjin.” 
Minho took your bet money counting it out before the other boys made their wagers too, writing them all down as more and more bets danced through your group. Both those typical for the Christmas party and those unique to this year for whatever reason. Debates starting up over a few of them as they always did.
“No I’m telling you Y/N will be the first one to admit it. She always gets loose lipped when she drinks.” Jisung teases despite the validity of his statement, something you’ve proven true to them at more than just the previous Christmas parties. 
“Still who she likes is the secret she guards more than anything else, she’d have to be so shitfaced for that to come out it would be ridiculous!” Changbin counters, “ My money is on Felix, he was practically giving it away unprompted last year. It wouldn’t be too hard to get it out of him if we really tried.” 
“Maybe that’s just cause Y/N doesn’t trust some of you to keep your mouths shut.” Christopher shrugs as he takes a seat, though all eyes are on him not because of the motion, but because of his words. Giving away that you had already confessed your crush to at least one person in the room. 
“Wait. So you told him, but you didn’t tell me? What do we even gossip for? Let I’m lowkey offended right now.” Hyunjin whines used to being your partner in crime when it came to exchanging secrets about your group, even the things you’d never tell anyone else. Trusting the other to lock it down tighter than even their own secrets, even if you exploited that information at times. Like when Hyunjin conveniently ended up paired with his crush for every game of the spring break party.
“In my defense I was distraught and looking for you when it slipped. Chris was just the only one around, so he’s the one who got that information.” You counter knowing there wasn’t any taking it back at this point anyways, Hyunjin barely accepting your answer with a grumble. You were somewhat glad that it was the case though, he’d surely exploit the information tonight if he had it. In this case you should be safe, or so you thought before you noticed the subtle smirk on Christopher’s face before he glanced between you and the very crush you’d revealed to him....Minho.
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“Hey, the boys sent me to see if you needed any help.” Minho steps into the kitchen watching as you moved to pull something out of the oven. Most of the food had already been prepped before you arrived so you offered to be the one to actually cook it. This being the fourth time in an hour and a half that Minho had been sent to check on you, each time he showed up besides you though he announced himself with those same words....the boys sent me. Them digging a little deeper into your heart whenever you’d hear them again. It implying that that he never actually chose to come to you of his own will, only coming to you since the boys told him to.
“I’m fine Minho. You can go back to the others.” Your words were sharper than you intended and it nearly made you wince, even if he didn’t return your feelings he was still your friend and you shouldn’t be so harsh to him. Sometimes your feelings managed to rear their ugly head before you could stop them though, something you’d feel regret for later
“Rose....your thorns are showing again.” Minho’s gentle voice says the familiar phrase as he moves to stand at your side. His nickname for you with a subtle announcement of the fact that your emotions were slipping out quicker than you often registered, something he always managed to stay calm through no matter how snappy you sometimes got, “I don’t know what riled you up, and I don’t have to. You should go take a minute to calm down though. I’ll watch the food.”
The way he spoke to you was enough to calm you down enough to regain your composure, but not wanting to be so close to him and unintentionally get worked up again you conceded. Slipping outside into the frigid air for a few moments to collect yourself before finding the others in the living room again, sitting besides Christopher now.
“The eggnog spiked yet?” You question with a soft sigh as you lean against his shoulder, causing him to chuckle and nod, “Good, cause I’m going to need a drink to make it through the night.”
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“You drunk yet Y/N?” Changbin teases as he pours you another glass. Internally cursing him out, he knew damn well he put something stronger in the eggnog this year without any warning. Knowing that you and Felix at least would try to keep up with everyone else despite being two of the light weights of the group. The others in that category smart enough to stop before they could make a fool out of themselves, even accidentally.
“Not drunk enough to lose to Felix or spill any secrets yet, if that’s what you’re asking.” You call him out, brow quirking as if to challenge him to tease you again. The alcohol buzzing through your system making you more confident in challenging them, even if it slowed your wit slightly. 
“Nah just wondering if you’re drunk enough to at least confess you’re spending the night? Well officially anyways. We thought of a way to determine who you’re going to stay with tonight.” Changbin brings his own glass to his lips, hiding his smirk knowing that Christopher had come to him and Hyunjin with a plan to rig it so that you’d end up with Minho. 
“Fine, I’ll confess to that.” You chuckle not catching onto their schemes, “So how are we figuring it out then? What’s your big, genius plan?” 
The sarcastic way you’re carrying yourself makes Hyunjin snicker, leaning towards Christopher, “Oh if only she knew...” He shakes his head slightly before shaping up, to hide any suspicious acts from you, “Simple, you’re just drawing the name out of a hat. You know the deal though, you only get to pick once and that’s who you’re stuck with.”
“Yeah, I know the deal.” You sit up further waiting for them to bring the hat over, the liquid courage running through you making you feel really good about your odds. It was only a 1 in 8 chance that you’d end up picking Minho, you were most likely safe from your crush. Well the possibility of embarrassing yourself while alone with him anyways. Or so you thought until you managed to pull his name out of the hat.
“Well.....I guess I’m rooming with Minho tonight....”
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"Alright I think that's enough for one night." Minho takes the glass from you before you can get it refilled yet again. You'd lost count three drinks ago, hoping you'd get passed out drunk instead of having to face him. Luck wasn't on your side this evening though as Minho still had his wits about him and he refused to let you do something dangerous to your health.
"But Minho, if I'm not drinking what am I going to do?" Your whine is only added to by the small subconscious pout adorning your drunk face.
"We've both had enough and are going to bed now. It's 4 fucking 37 in the morning and you know someone's gonna be waking is up too goddamn early hangover or not. So if you wanna drink something it'll be water on the way to bed." Minho insists moving to help your inebriated form up from your seat on the floor and towards his upstairs bedroom.
"You can use the bathroom, I put some clothes in their for you so you can sleep comfortably." Minho sits on th edge of his bed, pulling out his phone to scroll through seeming almost entirely disinterested as you wobble off to the bathroom. Not getting far though before you have to pull the door open with a blush, your shirt wedged half on with only one arm successfully out.
"M-Minho I got stuck, c-can you help me?" Your words held no room for any hidden implications, especially not when panicked tears started to well in your eyes.
"Hey, it'll be okay. I'm gonna help you and you'll be just fine." Minho coos trying to reassure you, not knowing your panic was partly due to having to face him like this. His warm hands gently in the way they helped untangle you from the shirt you'd somehow managed to get trapped in.
"There you go, all better. Now go get those warm clothes on and get in bed before the cold settles in too much." He insists gently wiping away the last of your tears before you returned to the bathroom.
Silence filled the space when you returned, saying nothing as you switched places with Minho. Sliding into the bed while he was in the bathroom. It wasn't like you'd never slept there before, staying with the boys frequently meant that you'd slept in all their beds at some point but never since your feelings for Minho had developed so much had you stayed in his. Never after you'd felt like you'd embarrassed yourself beyond repair in one evening either. Not realizing you were sniffling with a fresh batch of tears until Minho returned.
"Hey what's wrong rose? You've been upset all day. Please talk to me, we don't like when you're upset." Minho's brow furrows as he uses the paw of his sweater to gently wipe away the tears again.
"I-It's just so hard Minho. I don't know if I keep doing this." You feel exhausted from the alcohol, the excitement throughout the evening, and now an emotional breakdown too and yet you needed to get this off your chest or even that might not be enough to let you get rest tonight.
"What is? What's hard? What can't you do?" Minho asks feeling his heart bleed at your distress even if he was able to stay as calm as he was.
"L-Loving you...."
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You had passed out nearly the moment those words had left your lips, but Minho couldn’t, not after your confession. It had been the last thing he’d seen coming after trying not to look desperate to you all day. Yet you’d confessed to him of all people and it weighed too heavily on his mind for the next two hours to even consider getting any sleep. Only getting maybe two hours in before an excited Jeongin bound in to try and wake you both up so everyone could come downstairs for Christmas. Though Minho ensured he never got to you before he shoved him out with hushing sound. Slipping down behind him to grab some water, coffee, and pain meds for when you’d wake up. Telling the boys you’d had a rough night, probably drank too much, and should be left alone to sleep as long as you needed. Not expecting you to already be shifting awake when he returned to the room. 
“Hey, you can sleep more if you want. It’s alright.” Minho gently brushes the hair out of your face as your eyes slowly blink open, leaning into the warmth of his touch without realizing, “I brought you meds and coffee if you’re felling hungover.”
You accept his help to sit up and take the meds, willing your fuzzy mind to clear enough to recall what happened the night before, “Minho...d-did I do anything last night? I-I can’t remember.”
Minho froze debating how he should answer that, he wanted to be honest with you, but after seeing how upset you were the night before he didn’t want to embarrass you at all, “W-Well, umm....”
“I-I said something didn’t I?” You could read his face for once, the calm demeanor gone and it telling you something had happened. The way his eyes widened at your question was enough to confirm what you thought as panic bubbled up and made your throat feel tight, “W-Whatever I said I didn’t-”
Minho cut you off by pressing his lips to yours quickly, feeling his own panic, “P-Please don’t say that you didn’t mean it. I think I would die if I lost the hope that you actually loved me back.”
The panic stopped almost instantly, feeling it dissipate as you processed his words, “L-Love you back?....Y-You mean you love me too? B-But you were acting like I was such a bother yesterday.”
Minho sits on the bed, pulling you into his arms before you could cry again, “I didn’t mean for it to come off that way. I-I just didn’t want to look desperate when I couldn’t think of a reason for you to love me too.” 
“You’re an idiot, I was literally like so obvious.” You whine softly and he chuckles though his focus seems to shift as his gaze falls to your lips, “You can kiss me again you know....a-after all we both just confessed so it would make sense to...”
Minho’s eyes flick back up to yours as a smirk forms on his face, but he makes no smart comment as he gives in to what both of you are wanting. Leaning in to kiss you again, less panicked this time as his lips softly meld with yours. Though the both of you were pouring too much emotion into it for it to become anything less than desperate. Now that you had each other you needed that more than air itself, it remaining sweet despite the way you both chased after each other as if afraid this would all disappear if you separated for any real stretch of time.  You feel the faintest trail as Minho’s hands move from holding you against his chest to cradling your head as he lays you back onto the bed. 
“If you want to take things slower then just say so. I-I just don’t want to let you go.” Minho’s voice comes out so light you wonder how you hear it over the beating of your own heart, especially with how it races when his lips press a fleeting trail down your jaw between his words. 
“Y-You don’t ever have to slow down Minho, I’ve wanted this.....wanted you for too long to do that now.” You insist with a low moan as his lips press a little firmer against a sweet spot on your neck.
Minho hums against your skin too caught up in you to care about words when he could show you how he felt better anyways. His hands gripping at your sides, thumbs rubbing soft circles as if he’s afraid he’ll break you by being too firm. So you decide to make a larger move, reaching to grip the hem of his sweater and pull it off him, letting your hands and eyes roam his newly exposed skin. The feel of his warm skin beneath your fingertips heating you up inside, the flame of desire flaring up faster than you would have thought possible if the person before you had been anyone other than Minho. Minho’s hands gripping yours before looking up at you for permission, hesitating even as you nod.
“You sure you won’t be too cold?” Minho’s fingers peak under the hem to rub gently at your skin beneath it.
“Well if I am then I guess you’ll just have to warm me up.” Your words seem to light the same fire in Minho as he doesn’t hesitate a second longer to his sweater off you. Hands running over your stomach to squeeze your breasts through the bra, leaning down to kiss you again.
“Guess I will.” Minho speaks against your lips, tone deepening as he lowers again moving to rid you of your bra as his lips trail towards your chest. You nipples pebbling slightly from the frigid air and his advances, but noticing the unpleasant chill that runs through you he presses against you more, letting his warmth radiate onto you. His warm mouth closing around your one nipple as his hand toys with and warms the other, switching between them with a new path of kisses to make sure they get equal attention.  Until he gets impatient to show his affections elsewhere and his mouth lowers while adding soft nips between kisses to reach the hem of the sweatpants he gave you to wear. His fingers nimble as they work on the tie, though he doesn’t do more than that until he has permission from you to pull them down and leave you in only your panties.
“Oh the thoughts I had while helping you get untangled from your shirt last night my flower, and to think now a few of them are becoming reality.” Minho places a kiss to your hip, as his hands gently spread your legs, loving the way he’s able to fluster you so easily, “I’ve been dying for a taste and you’re not making it any easier for me. May I?” 
The way he drags his thumb over the wet patch of your panties makes it hard to respond when you’re moaning and focused on that surge of pleasure, but the thought of getting something more urges you to form words, “Y-Yes please, I’ve been wanting to feel your mouth.”
“All you had to do was ask precious.” Minho gently blows against the wet patch making you squirm before kissing your thigh and slipping off your panties and lowering himself between your legs, placing the gentlest of kisses to your clit. The way you whine impatiently makes him chuckle against your core only making you squirm, his thumbs rubbing softly against your plush thighs as he grips them firmly to keep them open instead of impeding his work. He has no intent on tormenting you with teasing, not this morning anyways, but he still wants to savor the moment. The way he licks through your folds slow yet firm enough to spark delicious waves of pleasure through you, enough so that you can’t complain too much about his pace. Minho’s tongue and lips working everywhere to get every last drop of you that he can, while also focusing on your reactions to find what makes you feel the best. Knowing that his own patience will wear thin soon enough and he wants to know how to throw you over that sweet edge with more intensity than you thought possible, wanting to make all of you feel as amazing as his heart did upon hearing your confession. 
“M-Minho please, I want to feel all of you.” Desperation bleeds into your words and actions as you squirm against his grip, hips trying to roll against his mouth and it has his eyes darkening with a new surge of lust. Nearly giving into you pleas, but you’re his first priority and it has him pulling away slightly making you whimper.
“Shh pretty girl, shh.” Minho coos softly, grip loosening as he runs his hands over your thighs and hips trying to get you to relax some, “Calm down, don’t get so worked up. I’ll give you what you want, I promise. You just need to calm down so that I can get you ready for me. We’ve waited a long time I know, but you can be good and wait just a little longer can’t you?”
This time a simple nod isn’t enough for him as he’s a little firmer with you in this moment, pinching your thigh lightly as he demands your words, “Y-Yes sir, I can be good for you.”
Minho has to take a deep, shuttering breath when he hears the word sir fall from your lips so perfectly, now was not the time to lose control, not when he wanted to show you every emotion he’d had trapped inside for so long. Not when he knew there’d be plenty of time for that later. Yet, it does have him snap a little as he dives between your legs again with more purpose. Lips suckling and kissing your clit like his survival depended on it, eyes locked on your face as he feels your fingers weave into his hair. The soft tug you give has him moaning against your clit, only adding to that pleasure as he eases a finger in, though it’s not long before he’s able to add another. Curling them with each thrust in search of the spot that would have you trembling against him, thriving off the pleasure he’d able to feed you right now, nothing else in the world mattering more than your cries for him and the way you lose yourself to the sensations. He knows he’s found that spot, when you’re clenching around him, practically sucking his fingers in, thighs shaking as your edge hovers so close and yet just barely out of reach. 
“Minho, please I’m close. Please make me cum or give me your cock, I-I don’t know how much longer I can wait.” Your pleas sound magical to Minho, it being enough for him to give you what you want, speeding up his fingers as his tongue flicks against your clit as he brings it between his lips again. Willing to throw your over the edge for the first time, so that he can have you losing his own patience as your nails drag lightly over his shoulders. The was you fall apart beneath him is like a work of art, the most beautiful Minho has ever seen as he slips his fingers from your spasming core to gently lick over you and ride you through the pleasure until you come back to him. Kissing you briefly before licking his fingers clean while keeping his eyes locked on yours.
“You’re sweeter than I ever could have imagined my flower.” Minho hums in approval, his smirk almost showing more in his eyes than on his lips. You’re quick to respond though not wanting him to drag it out any longer.
“I bet we’d taste sweeter together, but there’s only one way to find that out now isn’t there?” You purr back as your fingers work to untie his sweatpants, gripping both them and his undergarments to impatiently push both down at once. Freeing his beautiful, hardened length to you finally. Not giving him to to ask for your permission before you rub his tip through your folds, leg locking around his waist to urge his hips closer. Your actions seem to be enough as he places his hands on either side of you, slowly pushing in and leaning in as he gives you a moment to adjust to him.
“You were awfully loud earlier flower, if you don’t quiet down then all the boys will know what we’ve been up to. Do you want that?” Minho’s question is somewhat serious, but it also holds a teasing to it as he’s proud of the fact that he can make you feel good enough to be so loud. You getting him back by rolling your hips against him and earning a groan from him. Hands slipping around his neck to tug him down and tease his lips with your own.
“Why don’t you shut me up then?” Your words are almost daring and they have him crashing his lips messily against yours as his own hips start to move against you. The patience between you both is gone as he finds a quick pace and yet he’s not manhandling or overly rough in his treatment, the erotic scene still one of passionate lovers. Baring their emotions to each other in the most desperate of ways despite not being able to handle a slow pace any longer. It being everything you could have asked for and more, right now you didn’t need the soft, slow lovemaking. You need this the desperate lovemaking, the kind that showed that Minho had been longing for you just as much as you’d been longing for him. The kind that showed that you were his now and that he would show you that in every way possible for as long as you would ask it of him. Where every move he made was to find what made you feel best, because you were what he most cared for in this world and where it was so much better than he could have imagined that he wasn’t sure if he could hold off. Though he was intent on your pleasure coming first as he angled himself to perfectly hit the spots he found brought you the most pleasure with each drag of his cock, thumb rubbing quick circles into your clit as his other hand tangled into your hair to keep your lips pressed against his. Taking in all of your moans as your pleasure explodes once more, the feeling of you cumming on his cock enough to send him spiraling into his own high as he moans into your mouth in response. Slowing his thrusts as he rides you both through your highs. Hands gently tracing shapes over your heated flesh, finding you glowing in the aftermath of your climax.
“Come on my flower, I’ll help you shower before we join the others.” Minho kisses your forehead softly before scooping you up to take you to the bathroom. Getting you in the steaming shower as quickly as he can so that you won’t have to face the cold while bare for too long and so that you two can be quick enough to be able to get some food in before the others ate everything. Not that he wouldn’t cook you up a good breakfast if it came down to it. Willing to shower you in all affections imaginable after what you both had just done. Though before long Minho had you both cleaned up and in warm fresh clothes, going down the stairs to join the others.
“Weren’t you wearing something different this morning?” Jisung questions Minho slyly as if they hadn’t all heard what you two had been up to earlier. Minho knew what he meant, but still didn’t give him the satisfaction.
“Yeah well I took a shower, so I put on something else.” Minho shrugs pulling out a seat for you, before taking his own so you two could eat breakfast as well.
“Oh did Y/N shower too? Her hair is all damp still.” Jisung innocently inquires taking a bite of his pancake trying to hide his smug expression. Minho gently moving your damp hair away from your bare skin so that it wouldn’t get too chilled.
“Well then you obviously know the answer.” Minho rolls his eyes adding his portion of whipped cream and other sweet toppings to your plate instead of his own.
“Hm I just find that interesting considering we only heard one shower running.” Jisung smirks at you both as the others snicker and chuckle, teasing you all through breakfast while exchanging knowing looks. 
The teasing had died down some later as you all gathered around to exchange gifts. Feeling your heart stutter as you hold Minho’s in your hands, the man seeming flustered as you go to open it. Finding a small necklace inside one that looked like a lifeline with a heart at the end, flipping it over to find his initials on the back besides yours. 
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“So if things had been different this would have been when I confessed.” He admits in a soft whisper into your ear,  a blush adorning his cheeks so beautifully as you laugh softly.
“It’s alright I liked the way things turned out much better anyways.” Minho admits before the guys pretend to gag and whine at all the pda they were witnessing.
“Alright enough of the mushy stuff, you have to open mine next.” Hyunjin dramatically insists shoving his gift in front of you, a pretty envelope sitting on top and beckoning you to open the card first. Your attention immediately drawn to a special little note at the bottom...
PS. Minho’s name was the only one in that hat.
“Well guess I ruined your little plan huh?” You tease, flustering along with him as he presses a soft kiss to your cheek in front of everyone.
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imagines-r-s · 4 years ago
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sticking it - j. farabee
chapter 4
a/n: um, don’t hate me for this one, if it’s any constellation, i started crying as i wrote part of this, so. Also, for the purpose of this fic, pretend TK and Karly haven’t announced their pregnancy yet
taglist: @butgilinsky​ @barbienoturbby​ @sunsetholland​ @lovenhlboys​ @sortagaysortahigh​ @hockey-racing-fubol​ @oopsiedoopsie23​ @iwantahockeyhimbo​ @bbbbruins​ @dreamsndior​ 
warnings:  mentions of bee’s mixtape, lots of fluff, a brief makeout session (mwah), angst
sticking it masterlist
wc: 5.8k
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(gif not mine)
As the night eventually came to a close, everyone had eventually made their way back inside to head to bed - well everyone except you and Joel. Staring up at the stars, you hadn’t noticed that Joel was once again facing you, “whatcha thinking about?”
Without looking down at him, you quickly replied, “did you know that shooting stars are actually just meteoroids that burn up when they go through Earth’s atmosphere?”
“That was kinda random, but no I didn’t know that off the top of my head, so thank you for that,” Joel replied.
“Your hair is really soft,” you blurted out since you had stopped playing with his hair. 
“Thank you, I have a custom shampoo and conditioner I get that really helps me out.”
“I don’t really think I’m shocked by that fact, to be honest. I respect it,” you said. Eventually, Joel laid his head back down on your chest as you continued to run your hand through his hair. The two of you spent the next hour or so outside on the hammock, when he broke the comfortable silence once more. 
“When I drop my mixtape, do you want me to shout you out?” 
“Bee, I think both of us need to go to sleep, but yeah, obviously.”
Once he eventually got off of you, the two of you walked back into the condo; you led the way with Joel close behind you. As the two of you got closer to your door, which was conveniently right across from his, you two said your goodnights and went to bed. 
As you tried to sleep, your mind was moving 100mph. All your thoughts were racing and you weren’t sure if you would be able to sleep at all tonight. Your eyes remained open as your brain tried to decode whatever was going on between you and Joel. It wasn’t like you were opposed for something to happen, it just scared you, and when things scared you, you ran. 
There was only one thing in your life that you had never ran away from: gymnastics. The only time that you had ran away from the sport was because you didn’t really have a choice, but being here felt like you were running away from your sport. Although it was only a small thing, the constant fear of hurting yourself again was becoming debilitating and there was no way to stop that other than working. 
You had run from home when the fear of not making it got too hard. You ran from any friendships outside of the sport that you deemed a distraction. You ran from anyone who said you wouldn’t make it because the inevitable question of ‘what if they’re right’ always came looming in. And right now as things got deeper with Joel, you were debating running. 
“Now on beam, y/n y/l/n, she has spent more of this past year and a half leading up to this moment in recovery for an ACL injury. Now, there are rumors that she will be doing the dismount that was the cause of her injury once again. 
She has many solid passes and a high difficulty score, so if she does well, she will be a top contender for the Olympic team. Alright, she’s started her routine off well and her dismount is approaching,” the announcer said. 
As you went for the dismount, you made the same mistake you had made once before. “And unfortunately, it looks like y/n has once again injured her leg doing this dismount and she will not be able to compete in the Olympics.”
“y/n. y/n. Wake up, babe. C’mon, it’s just a bad dream, you’re okay,” the familiar voice that was talking to you felt like it was miles away. As you started to wake up, you became more aware of your surroundings, “are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay. Why?” you grumbled, taking in Joel’s disheveled state. 
“I got up to go to the bathroom and I heard you yelling, I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” Joel asked, quietly. He noticed the way that tears had fallen down your face and how quickly you were able to calm yourself down, “how often do you have nightmares?”
“Not often,” you said, watching as he raised a brow, “um, a lot. It just depends on what’s going on.”
“Does Kev know that they’re this bad?” he watched as you shook your head, watching as you started to get up out of bed, “whoa, whoa, whoa. Where are you going, sweet pea?”
“Up, I’m probably not going to be able to fall back asleep, so might as well start my day,” you said, yawning. 
“No, that’s what we’re not going to do. You look tired.”
“Thanks, Bee, you’re so kind.”
“Yeah, I try. C’mon, lay down and try to get some sleep.” 
“Bee-,” you tried to protest, but you were quickly interrupted by the man in front of you, “no, you lay down and try to go to sleep. If you need anything or want to talk, I’m next door, now goodnight.”
He made his way back towards the door and got ready to close it, “Bee?”
“What’s up?”
“Uh, do you mind staying with me until I fall asleep?” you asked, watching as a small smile graced his lips. He closed the door behind him and made his way back towards you, moving the blanket, so that he could join you. You ended up laying on his chest with a leg tangled in his, your arms wrapped around him, as he played with your hair in an attempt to lull you to sleep. 
“I had a dream that I got hurt again,” you whispered, softly enough to where if he wasn’t right next to you he would have missed what you said. 
“Are you that scared that you’ll get hurt again?” he waited for a response, but you simply nodded, “look, I think you’re doing everything you can to help your recovery. PT, playing it safe at practice, whatever. But if you let the fear control your life, you won’t move forward.” 
“When did you become so wise, Beezer?”
“I’ve always been this wise, you just haven’t noticed,” Joel said, continuing to play with your hair until you eventually fall asleep. He knew that he said he would only stay with you until you fell asleep, but the comfort he felt with your arms wrapped around him and you being this close was enough to convince him to stay. He didn’t know where things between the two of you were going, but he was just happy to be with you right now. 
Glancing over at the clock, he saw that it was almost 5 and he knew that they guys would eventually come to get him in a couple hours, but right now he just wanted to stay right here. He attempted to just stay awake and he would sneak out around 6:30, but he didn’t realize how inevitable sleep was going to be at this moment. 
Travis and Karly had gotten up around the same time, Travis was going out with the boys and Karly was planning on taking you out for breakfast while the boys were out on the water. When Travis made his way out to the living room, he wasn’t shocked to see that Joel and Morgan were the only two that hadn’t made it out of their rooms yet. 
So as Travis made his way towards Joel’s room, knocking a few times, but when he heard no response he walked in, only to find his bed empty and his phone still on the charger. Travis went to the next place he thought of and checked the bathroom to see if he was in there, but with no response, he was ready to look outside for his youngest teammate. 
“Hey, baby. Come see this,” Karly’s voice rang out in the hallway. 
“No, I can’t find, Beezer,” Travis grumbled. 
“Yeah, no, I found him,” Travis turned around to see his girlfriend standing in the doorway to your room. 
“No, you’re joking,” but Travis quickly realized she wasn’t once he saw you and Joel holding each other as you slept, “oh, damn. They didn’t, you know?”
The pair eventually walked closer to you two, looking around the room for any clothes or any evidence that something had happened, but when they saw the two of you still in pajamas they let out a deep sigh. “Yo, Beezer, c’mon. We have to get the boat ready,” Travis said quietly, laughing as Joel’s eyes opened slowly and the smile that grew on his face seeing you still in his arms. 
“Before you go all protective, nothing happened, she just had a nightmare,” Joel grumbled, attempting to unlatch your arms from around him. 
Karly’s eyebrows raised in shock,”she told you about the nightmares? Oh my god. Okay, well the coast is clear for you to sneak back into your room, so I recommend doing so before Kev kills you.”
Joel eventually got up from your bed, not without you attempting to pull him back closer to you, before him and Travis left your room. “Hey, babes. Do you want to go get breakfast?”
“Yeah, sure,” you mumbled, laying back down on the pillow. 
“No, none of that. We have to get up,” Karly said, attempting to get you up once again, “c’mon, Sunshine, I believe in you.”
“Don’t call me, Sunshine,” you shot her a quick glare at the nickname she had given you and only used when she wanted to annoy you. 
“Awe, is Sunshine upset that her boy had to leave?” 
“Shut up, I love you, but shut up,” you grumbled before finally getting out of bed. You quickly got ready for the day, meeting Karly in the living room as she talked to Travis. 
“Awe, look Sleeping Beauty has woken up once again,” Joel cooed, watching as you sat down on the couch and laid down, a simple attempt to get more sleep. 
“Shut the literal fuck up, Farabee,” you said, moreso into the pillow than out loud. 
“Make me,” Joel said, without much thinking on his part, which caused you to sit up quickly, shooting a glare at him once again. 
“Farabee, I’d watch it if I were you,” Nolan said, attempting to hide his laugh, “both y/n/n and Kev look like they’re about to kill you.” 
“Yolo,” Joel shrugged. 
“RIP, Young Beezer. A good teammate and a good friend, who will be sincerely missed,” Carter said, wiping away fake tears. 
“I kinda want a better funeral speech than that, but that’s deeply appreciated, Hartsy,” Joel mumbled. 
“y/n, we have to go if we want to get back in time to go swimming,” Karly said, grabbing Travis’ keys from him and pulling you off the couch, “Bye boys.” 
…..
After breakfast with Karly, the two of you went back to the condo, assuming that the guys were done with whatever they were doing on the water, the two of you put on your swimsuits and went out back. 
“So, are we going to discuss the topic at hand?” Karly asked, watching as the boys brought the boat back towards the deck and docked it. 
“There’s plenty of topics to go around, Karls, you need to be more specific,” you said, watching as Joel jumped off the boat, only to almost fall in moments later. 
“You’re literally looking at him right now, Sunshine.”
“I swear if anyone else heard you call me Sunshine and they even mention it, I will hurt you.”
“You wouldn’t hurt a pregnant woman,” Karly said, the words taking a moment to register for both of you. 
“Preg- Karly? Are you serious? You might want to talk to Teeks about protection,” you said, quickly. 
“Sunshine, we were trying for one, I promise,” Karly said, smiling growing on her face at your words. 
“Awe, oh my god, seriously?” 
“Yeah, yeah, we were going to tell you all later, but I was going to tell you separately so that way you didn’t get all pissy about it.”
“I wouldn’t have,” you said, rolling your eyes.
“You would have,” Karly watched as Travis walked closer to the two of you. 
“Travis, you have to remember to wrap it before you tap it,” you said, quietly.
“Wha-? Oh, I thought we were going to say something later?” Travis said to Karly. 
“It slipped out in a joke and I didn’t want her to get mad at us later,” Karly shrugged.
“Oh my god. Ok, if you have a boy, he can play hockey and if you have a girl, she can do gymnastics. Or ice skating, both are cool, I guess,” you rambled causing the couple in front of you to laugh. 
“Sunshine already has it all figured out,” Karly added, laughing as you sent her another glare. 
“Are we asking her now or later about the thing?” Travis said to Karly, as the pair exchanged a few words which only confused you even more. 
“Ask me what?” 
“We aren’t doing anything crazy for it, but we want to know if you want to be the baby’s godmother?” Karly asked, slowly.
“Wait, are you serious?” you waited for a laugh or any sign that they were joking, “oh my god, yeah, yeah. Of course. I’d love to.”
“Nolan already established he’s ‘Uncle Pat’, so if you want ‘Aunt Sunshine’ it’s available.”
You simply rolled your eyes in response, looking up towards the guys getting everything into the boat for the day, when your and Joel’s eyes met. “Oh, that’s the topic we wanted to discuss,” Karly said, “one, why was he in your bed this morning and two, did you actually tell him about the nightmares?”
“Uh, he got up and heard me in my room, woke me up, I told him I was having a nightmare, yada, yada, yade. I didn’t want to sleep alone, we talked about the nightmare, he was supposed to leave, but didn’t. So that is why he was in my bed this morning.”
“You haven’t even told Kev about the nightmares and you expect us to believe you aren’t falling for the kid,” Travis replied. 
“Yes, I do.” 
“y/n/n, seriously, he’s a good guy. I know you know that, but you are allowed to have something good in your life,” Travis said, softly.
You knew that the pair was right, the two of them wouldn’t lie to you, but right now there were a lot of things to consider. You were fine with how things were, but you knew the moment that anything got serious, you wouldn’t be able to. You couldn’t afford any more distractions right now, not when you were this close. 
There was something in you that agreed with your friends, you knew he was a good guy and you knew he would allow you to focus on yourself and your dreams. You knew that he would be your biggest supporter if you gave him the opportunity, but right now you weren’t sure if you should give him the opportunity. 
“Are you guys coming or what?” Kevin yelled towards the three of you, who swiftly made your way down onto the boat.
As soon as everyone settled onto the boat, Carter started the boat down the lake. Although you had basically been everywhere in the world, you never had the time to be able to take in your surroundings, having to always look at everything through tunnel vision. 
Eventually Carter stopped the boat, so that way whoever wanted to would be able to swim. Morgan and Joel were the first to jump into the water, the rest of the guys following suit, which left you and Karly on the boat. With the lack of sleep that you had the night before, you knew that if you honestly tried you would be able to fall asleep. 
Laying down and listening to the music playing, you didn’t realize that someone had gotten out of the water until you felt a droplet of water fall on you. “Are you really about to go to sleep right now?”
“Well, I’m trying to, but someone is talking to me,” you stated, finally opening your eyes to the man towering over you, avoiding glancing down at his bare chest. 
“C’mon, babe, you’ll have plenty of time to catch up on sleep once we get back. I’ll even join you again, if you want me to,” you could see the smirk growing on his face. 
“I don’t want to go into the water, Bee,” you said, closing your eyes once again. 
“Alright, fine,” he replied and you assumed he went back in the water, but when you felt him pick you up bridal style, you knew what was coming. 
“Farabee, put me down. I swear to god,” you shrieked. 
“C’mon, Princess, it’ll be fun.” 
“No, me going to sleep seems a lot more fun,” you watched as Joel stood on the edge of the boat, seeing the amused faces of your friends as you tried to get out of his grip, “Farabee, put me down.” 
His smirk only grew, “alright, babe. If you say so.” Before you could even react, Joel had tossed you out towards the water. 
“Farabee, I swear, you’re dead,” you said, swimming towards the ladder.
“Awe, babe. It’s fine, Morgan already has my funeral speech ready,”Joel said, watching as you started climbing up the ladder. He smirked as you purposely bumped into him, back to where you sat before. 
He watched as your hands wrapped at the bottom hem of your tank top, pulling it over your head to reveal a red swimsuit top. You laughed as you watched his smirk drop. You then pulled the waistband of your shorts to show the black, high-waisted bottoms you had on. 
“The tension,” Karly whispered over to Travis as the pair watched the exchange, “damn, y/n/n, you look hot, babe.” 
“Thanks, Karls,” you smirked once you finally looked toward Joel again, “hey, Bee, you might want to close your mouth or else you’ll catch flies.”
“You’re doing this on purpose,” he exclaimed.
“Yeah, well, karma's a bitch, babe,” you said, which caused him to roll his eyes. 
“I’ll remember that. I will remember that.” 
The day at the lake went on, the group spending some time in the water, but most of it was spent just relaxing on the boat. “Who all wants something to drink?” Kevin asked, reaching into the cooler. The guys all raised their hand for beers, while you and Karly asked for a capri sun. 
“I’m used to y/n/n not getting anything to drink, but Karly? Did Teeks finally knock you up or something?” Kevin unknowingly asked, only earning a silence from the couple he was questioning, “oh?”
“Yeah, we’re going to have a baby,” Travis said, smiling.
“Travis, oh my god, you’re pregnant. Awe, you can already see a bump,” Morgan said, only earning him a knock upside the head. 
“No, dipshit,” Travis rolled his eyes as everyone around you laughed. 
“Oh my god, Teeks, when is the baby due? And it’s okay, you don’t have to show us the bump or anything right now, we understand,” Carter added, which only added fuel to the ongoing laughs. 
“See, kids, this is why we use protection, alright,” Kevin sighed. 
As the group continued talking, you made your way over to the cooler to get you another Capri Sun, you made your way back to where you sat before, only to be pulled into Joel’s lap. “Bee, whatcha doing?” 
“I just wanted to sit next to you,” he said, softly. You adjusted yourself on his lap to where you were angled to the side, your legs draped over his, still involved in the conversation in front of you. Once you had gotten comfortable, you felt Joel’s arm wrapped around you as one of his hands came in contact with your thigh. 
As heat rushed up to your face, you looked up to see Karly sending you a knowing look, while Kevin was glaring daggers into Joel’s head. As the conversation went on, you started to feel tired again and decided to lay your head on his shoulder, he found one of the blankets that had been brought and placed it over the two of you. 
You didn’t know when sleep overcame you once again, but you did feel the boat stop and the feeling of being carried, you were just too tired to open your eyes. Eventually, you felt the feeling of being set on your bed. “C’mon, babe, I know you don’t want to, but you need to at least change into something more comfortable,” Joel said, grabbing you a sleep shirt and shorts from your bag.
“Thanks, Bee.”
“Goodnight, y/n/n, sleep well,” and with that he was out of your room. As you got ready for bed, there was something telling you to knock on his door and lay down with him, you shouldn’t have. This internal debate you had going on with whatever you and Joel had was, wasn’t healthy for you - part of you wanted to give in and just enjoy the way that he made you feel, while the other was telling you to run from whatever it was. 
As you tried to go back asleep, you just couldn’t. At this point, you weren’t sure what was going on with your sleep schedule, but there was only one thing that had helped you actually go to sleep and he was next door. 
As quietly as possible, you took the short trek across from your door to his. “y/n/n, you okay?” you heard, softly from across the room. 
“Um, yeah. I just couldn’t sleep.”
“Babe, you just going to stand there? Or are you going to close the door and come to bed?” you didn’t even have to see his face to know that he was smirking, as you finally closed the door and made your way over to him, laying the same way that you had the night before, as both of you finally fell asleep. 
With there not being any plan for the third day at the lake, you all had decided to simply have a movie night and whatever you did during the day was your choice. You woke up still in Joel’s arms with him asleep beside you, only throughout the night he ended up laying on your chest with his arms around you. Reaching for your phone, you saw a few texts from Karly with pictures of you and Joel at the lake that you might have saved to your camera roll a little bit too quickly. 
Once you felt Joel stir from beside you, you knew that it wouldn’t be long until he was up. You assumed that he would get up and make you get out of bed, so that neither of you would get caught, but when he somehow pulled you closer to him, you were shocked. “Good morning,” his morning voice rang out. 
“Good morning,” you said, softly, starting to play with his hair. 
“I could get used to you doing that all the time.”
“What? Playing with your hair?” you said, which earned a hum in response from him, “your hair is just really soft.” 
“Yeah, I know.”
“I didn’t know someone could be that cocky about how soft his hair is.”
“When your hair is as soft as mine, then you can talk to me,” he mumbled.
As much as you loved this feeling, everything was starting to get too real for you. You were starting to crave the affection that he was giving you and you missed him when he wasn’t close to you. And you were starting to fall for him and that scared you more than you wanted to admit. 
“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” Joel asked, pulling you away from your thoughts. 
“Oh, it’s nothing,” you said simply, which only caused Joel’s brows to furrow.
“Look, you don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to, but it’s fairly obvious something is going on. Did you have another nightmare or something?”
You stayed silent, pondering if maybe you should tell him that ‘whatever this is can’t progress to anything serious because I can’t have any distractions and I’m already starting to fall for you, so I should stop while I’m ahead’. You couldn’t. You already would hurt him when you did tell him, but now wasn’t the time for this. “I’m just worried about gym, that’s all.”
“Hey, look, I might not know much about the sport of gymnastics, but I do know for a fact that there is no way that you aren’t going to be able to achieve your dream. The Olympic People or whoever the fuck is in charge, would be really stupid not to take you on the Olympic team,” he said, looking you in your eyes before softly pushing off of you, “I have to go take a shower, but I’ll find you later.” 
He was not making this any easier.
At this point you didn’t know what to do, so you went to the one person you knew would be able to help you out here. Quietly knocking on the door, Travis was the one to open the door, “what do you want shortstack?” 
“I need to talk to Karly about something,” you said, earning an eye roll from Travis as he moved so you could get through his door. 
“Hey, hun. Everything okay?” Karly asked, sitting up in her bed. You quickly joined her on Travis’ side, which earned yet another eye roll from him as he sat down on what was left of his side. 
“I don’t know what to do.”
“In terms of what?”
“Bee.”
“I figured. But what’s going on?” Karly asked, calmly.
“I swear if he did something to you, I will ruin his career,” Travis grumbled from beside you as he scrolled on his phone. 
“Thanks Teeks, but I don’t think that’ll be necessary. I, um, I don’t know how to tell him that what’s going on can’t move past what it is now,” you said, your eyes trained on your hands. 
The couple beside you shared a knowing look at each other,“ok, why can’t it move on?” Travis asked simply. 
“Because I can’t be distracted by anything right now,” you said, softly. 
“Is that it?” Karly asked.
“I don’t- I don’t know at this point,” you sighed, staring at the girl who had become like an older sister to you,”I’m falling for him.”
“Oh, she finally admits it,” Travis mumbled. 
“Shut up, Teeks. Look, y/n/n, I’ve known you quite a while and I’ve seen your habits over the years. So, I’m going to ask a quick question,” Karly waited for a nod from you before continuing, “why does falling for Bee scare you?”
“Um, it doesn’t, but somehow it does? I don’t know. It’s not scary, it’s just,” you sighed,”look, Bee is this amazing person and I want him to be happy, but I know that if this does continue right now and I don’t make it to the Olympics, I’m going to be a wreck. I can’t do it with distractions.”
“You know, considering how much you overwork yourself, it might be a good thing to have healthy distractions,” Travis added, “plus, not to invalidate what you’re saying, but everything you have going on in your life is a distraction. You have Kathryn, life in general, media always wanting something from you. I feel like there’s more to it.”
You knew Travis was right, but him pressing the topic didn’t make it easier, “I’m scared that’ll go wrong. Or that I run him off. Or media does something. Or-”
“So, the distractions in your life are what have you worried, is what I’m hearing?” Karly added. 
“Well, I guess. Not necessarily, but sure.” 
“So, you need a healthy distraction?” Travis asked. 
“Yeah?”
“There you go. There’s your answer. Now, Sunshine, stop letting your fear of everything going wrong get in the way,” Karly said. You knew the two of them had a point, but you still weren’t sure what to do about it. 
When you had finished talking to them, you decided you should take some time to think about everything, alone. You made your way back to your room after getting a snack to eat, but just as you were about to go into your room, the bathroom door opened, revealing Joel just with a towel around his waist. 
“Hey, princess,” he smirked as he saw your reaction, “you might want to close your mouth, you might catch flies.”
…..
“Ok, to avoid any disagreements, we are drawing names for who gets to choose the movie. We are only watching two, but only the first one is mandatory,” Kevin explained. 
“Why is he in charge?” Nolan said, which everyone nodded in agreement to. 
“Because I’m the adult here and you guys can’t make a rational decision to save your life.”
“He’s not wrong, but it’s still kinda wack,” you whispered to Joel, who was sitting next to you. 
“Alright, Karly, you get to pick the movie,” Kevin said. 
“Ok, sweet. Um, Tangled,” Karly said, choosing her go to movie, which caused almost all the guys to groan. The fact that most of the guys groaned made you laugh when you noticed how into the movie they got, all of them crying when Flynn died - which you and Karly were quick to get videos of. 
“Oh my god, why couldn’t he have given Rapunzel a better haircut though?” Carter asked. 
“I’ve always thought that, but I mean in the animated series her hair grows back,” you said, shrugging.
“It grows back?” Morgan questioned, quickly, “I’m going to bed, so that I can binge watch the series, goodnight.” 
“Alright, well. Who’s all staying for a second movie?” Kevin asked, laughing when you and Joel were the only ones to raise your hands, “alright, easy enough.” 
Everyone else said their goodnights and went to bed, leaving you and Joel on your own. “Want to watch High School Musical 2 with me?” you asked, quietly. 
“Yeah, of course.”
As the movie went on, Joel’s hand had somehow made its way back to your thigh like the day prior, except now he was inching it up more, “Bee, you better watch yourself.”
“I am, I am. If you tell me to stop, I will,” Joel whispered as he leaned in to press a kiss to your neck, “all you have to do is say the word and I’ll leave you alone.” His lips made their way up towards your jaw, pressing a light kiss behind your ear, causing your breath to hitch, “how’s the movie, y/n/n?” 
“It’s- yeah, it’s great. 10/10 would recommend,” you sighed. 
“Oh, really? Alright,” he said, before turning back to the tv, causing you to gasp at his actions. 
“Yeah, no, that’s not what’s going to happen,” you said, quickly, before bringing your leg over his to straddle him. When you looked at him, you could only see the smirk on his face, “you’re annoying.”
“Yeah, but-,” you interrupted him when your lips met his. You were only digging a deeper hole than you were already in, this was getting too close. The flirting wasn’t ideal, but it was fine. Maybe sleeping in the same bed wasn’t the wisest decision, but you had a nightmare and couldn’t sleep. But kissing him was going too far. Your lips eventually moved away from his and towards his neck, lightly sucking to leave some visible marks, “babe, you’re going to get us in trouble.”
“Yolo,” you said, repeating the words he had said earlier. 
“I don’t know if now is the right time to ask this, but what are we?” you stopped your actions, visibly tensing at the sound of the question you were dreading, “y/n?”
“Yeah, um,” you sighed, “you’re my cousin’s teammate that I’m friends with and I’m your teammate’s cousin.” Wrong answer. Wrong answer. 
“That’s- that’s all we are to you? Seriously?”
“Well, you never clarified otherwise. So, we’re just friends.”
“Friends?” he asked, which you simply nodded,”y/n, that makes no sense. We literally just kissed. We flirt. We- we legit fell asleep next to each other these past few nights and you want to say we’re just friends?”
You wanted to fight this. Fight for whatever was going on, but something in you was telling you to just leave it be, so you did. Keeping your eyes trained on the ground and your voice as monotone as you could, “Look, Farabee. Tonight shouldn’t have happened, the flirting is just for fun, and you were just there when I had a nightmare.”
Joel looked as if he wanted to say something more. His mouth opening and closing, as his face seemed to go through all the stages of grief in one second, “look me in the eye and tell me that, or else I’m just going to assume this has to do with everything in your life.”
You visibly gulped, raising your eyes towards his,”we’re just friends, Joel.”
Joel. His name against your tongue, leaving a sour taste. 
“Fine, that’s what you want. Alright, y/n,” he said, not meeting your eyes, before retreating back to his room.
You quickly turned off the movie and slowly made your way back to your room. You knew that tonight if you couldn’t sleep, you wouldn’t have him to go to.
As the morning finally came, you knew you needed to check if he was okay, it was the least you could do. So, you hesitantly went over to his room, knocking to make sure it was okay. But when you didn’t get an answer, you just decided to walk in, but you were met with an empty room. 
Practically running back towards the kitchen, you saw Nolan and Kevin talking in the kitchen. “Where’s Bee?” 
Kevin and Nolan exchanged looks you couldn’t exactly read, “uh, Beezer and Frost left this morning.”
“What?”
“Yeah, Joel was in a hurry and said he needed to leave, so Frost took him home,” Nolan added cautiously. Neither Kevin or Nolan knew what had happened, but it had to have happened sometime last night and you were the only person he was with last night. 
The pair watched as your breathing quickened, frantically looking around for something to latch onto, “I fucked up. Oh my god.”
“y/n/n, you need to breathe, okay? Can you do that for me?” Kevin motioned for you to inhale and exhale with him, but the commotion of what had happened drew the attention of Karly and Travis. 
“What the fuck happened?” Travis asked, quietly.  
“I-I messed things up. Me and him were fine and then, I messed it up.” 
“How’d you mess it up?” Karly asked, softly.
“I got scared and ran.” 
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