#this thing so hhhhhmm :^

[keeps-ache]

okay, my plotting

[delighteddistractions555]

LMK Incorrect Quotes 2#

The madness continues-

(Nezha is at an outside picnic bench with a platter of piping hot honey buns.)

Sun Wukong: Oooohhh!! Can I have one?!

Nezha: Frick off. These are mine.

Sun Wukong: Well ain’t someone being a greedy little brat-

Erlang Shen: Hiya buddy! Mind if I join you?

Nezha: Sure! We can split the platter. (Moves aside to let Erlang sit with him.) 

Sun Wukong: …..NOW HOLD ON A PIPING HOT MINUTE!!! HOW COME HE GETS HONEY BUNS BUT NOT ME?!?!

Nezha: You may be humanity’s hero, but you’re definitely not mine.

Erlang Shen: Eh, you can’t win 'em all sunshine~ (Chomps into a honey bun.) 

Sun Wukong: This isn’t fair!! No one ever shares their food with me!!!

MK: Oh! I’ll share my lunch with you Monkey King!! (Holds up a platter of delectable looking sandwiches.) 

Sun Wukong: Why thank you! At least SOMEONE cares unlike some stupid greedy gods I’m too gracious to name! 

Sun Wukong: *Takes a sandwich, bites into it, goes completely still, and faints within a minute.*

MK: O-o?!?!?!

Nezha: What the-

Erlang Shen: ……Kid. What exactly was in those sandwiches?!

MK: Uuuhhhh, pickles?….

Erlang Shen: Wukong is ALLERGIC to pickles!

MK: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! CALL THE AMBULANCE!!!! CALL 911!!!! CALL GUANYIN!!!

Nezha: Of all the things to almost kill the Great Sage, a damn overlooked food allergy takes the cake….

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Nezha: Hey, whatcha got there Erlang?

Erlang Shen: *Holding a cup of cheese tea in one hand and something else behind his back.* Cheese tea.

Nezha: The other thing behind your back duh!!

Erlang Shen: Gee squirt, can’t a guy have his secrets in peace?!

(MK arrives on his cloud, hops off it, and presents a steaming bag of noodles to Erlang.)

MK: Here’s your order Erlang!! I double-checked it was the right one!

Erlang Shen: Thanks MK, so who's your friend?

MK: What-

(MK turns around to check only for Erlang to swipe his staff, take out Li Jing’s pagoda, and smash it to smithereens.)

MK: *Beyond flabbergasted and faints.*

Nezha: …………WHAT THE FRICK YOUR ACTUALLY MY DAMN HERO ERLANG!!!!

(Nezha runs to the demigod to hug him.)

Erlang Shen: Happy Early Birthday Nezzie~

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Muzha: So Father is the Emperor now…

Nezha: Yay. Can I die now?

Muzha & Jinzha: NO.

Jinzha: I bet you anything, Father will marry us off to produce heirs to strengthen his hold on the throne.

Muzha: Brother! Whatever gave you that idea?! I’m celibate and I doubt the brat here will ever be mature enough for marriage. 

Nezha: Disregarding that last part, I agree with the bamboo pole on this. Father isn’t that crass or politically ambitious.

(Li Jing enters the room.)

Li Jing: Sons. There you are.

Muzha: Greetings Father! What is it that you need-

(Cue the Three Lotus Princes spotting the foreign goddess queen tailed by three princesses.)

The Three Lotus Princes: *Infernal screaming and they all ditch the palace in a trail of lotus petals.* 

Jinzha: I SO CALLED IT!!!

Nezha: SHUT UP AND RUN!!!!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sun Wukong: Hehehehehe!! I have the most perfect prank to pull on that three-eyed half-blood!

Macaque: Ooooohhh!! Whatcha planning oh Great Sage? 

Sun Wukong: I’m glad you asked my shadowy friend! So first I’m going to send a present to his house but make it look like it came from Nezha…

Macaque: Uh-huh.

Sun Wukong: The present will have a special pair of sunglasses to cover all three of his eyes. And I’ve placed a special enchantment on them…

Macaque: Go on. 

Sun Wukong: It prevents him from using his Third Eye properly so I’m going to shapeshift into Xiaotian and infiltrate his house….

Macaque: Hhhhhmm.

Sun Wukong: Use a sleeping bug on the real doggo and hide him in the closet so he can’t rat me out….

Macaque: Okay.

Sun Wukong: Pretend to be his precious pet until he’s asleep-

Macaque: Annnnnnnnd?

Sun Wukong: Then raid his alcohol shelf, steal all his weapons or treasures, and spray paint the house before I leave!! 

Macaque: Ooooohhhhh!! That’s a good prank! Except for one tiny detail…

Sun Wukong: Whatever could I have missed?

(Cue “Macaque” shape shifting to his true self, Erlang.)

Erlang Shen: You don’t tell the victim about your plan….

Wukong: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

(MK has hosted a party where he invited everyone he was friends with. Princess Iron Fan and Erlang are on the opposite sides of the party room. Once in a while casting a glance at each other.)

Erlang Shen: *In his mind.* Huh, it’s been a while since I’ve seen Gongzhu…

Princess Iron Fan: *In her mind.* Wow, it’s been literally ages since I’ve seen Jian…

Erlang Shen: *In his mind.* Guess she doesn’t look half-bad for a celestial traitor turned demon girlboss…

Princess Iron Fan: *In her mind.* Hhhmm, for someone who has suspiciously been missing out on a lot of the action these last few centuries. I guess he’s still nice and fit…

Erlang Shen: *In his mind.* Well, at least she finally stopped going onboard with her stupid husband’s ambitions for conquest.

Princess Iron Fan: *In her mind.* At least wolf boy has finally come out of hiding even well after all the shit that went down.

Erlang Shen: *In his mind.* Thank goodness she is starting to treat her only child right. But considering how bratty and demeaning she was in her youth, I shouldn’t have been surprised.

Princess Iron Fan: *In her mind.* I’m just soooooo glad that he hadn’t made any more big blunders like killing off his sister’s husband, burying said then sister he supposedly loved under a mountain, and attempting to stop her only son from RESCUING her!!

Erlang Shen: *In his mind.* Well at least I’m not married to a walking steak sandwich that decided trying to conquer a world of innocents and release THE damn crazy bone lady were the best ideas ever!!!

Princess Iron Fan: *In her mind.* Well at least I was actually ACTIVE for the last five hundred years instead of lying around like some lazy, good-for-nothing-mutt!!

Erlang Shen: *In his mind.* Active for what?! Trying to free a damn steak sandwich and leave your kid with Nezha to basically raise him?! What a fiiiiiiine way to waste your time Princess! 

Princess Iron Fan: *In her mind.* IT’S CALLED TRUE LOVE YOU FRICKING BACHELOR AND I ASSUME YOU BELIEVE THAT I CANNOT DAMN WELL READ YOUR THOUGHTS!!!

Erlang Shen: *In his mind.* Ooooohhh princess, I assure you, I know very damn well you can hear me.

Princess Iron Fan: *Unsheaths her signature fan.* BRING IT ON YOU DAMN HALF-MUTT!!!

Erlang Shen: *Takes out his three-tipped spear.* As you wish, your prissy highness!!

(The two immortal warriors engage in combat and Nezha realizes what’s going on.)

Nezha: NNNNNNNOOOO!!! STOP IT RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!! *Flies in to stop them from destroying the party.*

MK: WTF JUST HAPPENED?!?! THEY DIDN’T EVEN SAY ANYTHING TO EACH OTHER!!! 

Tang: Friendships turned enmity runs deep…*Slurps down some noodles.*

[theameba1436]

Been thinking about Evil Vorn as of late......I could do so many funny things with him if he was A little more evil? Hhhhhmm, I wonder is it too late?

[vroomian]

hi! i absolutely LOVE your tgcf au thank you for writing it! i was wondering how he would interact with some of the more prominent canon characters, like the main couple, the three tumors as well as he xuan and sqx as well as their opinions on him since he’s like a giant outlier. i was also curious about how he got some of those ridiculous titles lmao. any particularly ridiculous adventures?

i haven’t actually gotten that far into tgcf so i don’t know who most of these characters are (whoops) but for xie lian? yrz took one look at the weirdo covered in bandages and went ‘oh my god a normal person’. after 2k years of dealing with some of the most arrogant d-bags around, yrz can clock the size of a person’s ego at fifty paces and xl? he’s a regular person with a regular ego. but then yrz learned who xl was and went... ‘.. oh no....a Protagonist...but...a normal conversation...’ and proceeded to slowly fail to keep away from xl because he was just so normal and nice! they friends =) . (possibly more??? is yrz gonna end up the filling in a cannon sandwich again??? idk i haven’t decided)

hua Cheng, after realizing what a sarcastic asshole yrz is due to Shenanigans Yet to Be Decided, likes him a lot pretty much against his will. like, almost as much as xl (he’s never gonna like anyone better than xl, let us be real). plus he’s never forgotten how many nights he didn’t go to sleep hungry due to yrz’s temples giving out food. 

For titles, I only have the two mentioned in the fic so far, but i know he’s got a couple more. for Humble Scholar Bows to Lotus, he was dragged to a mortal party by some young idiot gods (this was around year one hundred of being a god and no one realized quite how powerful yrz would end up being so no one tried to make him stay in heaven) and got ditched there. he drinks in a corner because of course he does, and turns out it was some preeety strong wine -- like. strong enough to intoxicate a god. Why did these random humans have such strong wine? *shrug emoji*

so, yrz, drunk out of his mind, walks to the middle of a random lotus pond because he’s a god and fuck it he can cosplay Jesus if he wants. there’s only one lotus in the lake because it’s the wrong climate/season or whatever. all of the mortals around see him doing this and go what the fuck, because obviously. yrz sits in the middle of the pond and starts bitching about being ditched at a party again, isn’t he supposed to be beyond this as a god, blah blah, whatever. to the mortals, who can’t hear him, yrz looks like an ethereal young man dressed as a scholar who walked on water and started conversing with a single lotus flower sitting in the middle of the lake. after some time, the mortals witness yrz bow deeply to the lotus flower (’thanks for listening to my bitching’), get up, and turn into a pillar of light (ascending to heaven to sleep off the hangover). before he goes, he hiccups and loses control of his godly powers the tiniest bit. The lotus flower is now glowing slightly. after a second, it begins to grow and grow and grow until the whole pond is almost smothered with lotus flowers, every single one of them perfectly formed. one of the mortals recognizes yrz as a god from his homeland and says ‘he must have gained some advice about perseverance from the flower and helped it cultivate in gratitude!’ and everyone else goes sure that makes sense. they start praising yrz for his humble nature, a rare god willing to listen to the advice of a single lotus flower, hence Humble Scholar Bows to Lotus. yrz wakes up to a new title, a new shrine around the lotus pond, and a case of terminal embarrassment. he swears off drinking and parties altogether. (the shrine becomes the site of his biggest, most important temple, and the lotus flower still blooms there all year round.)

Blue Glass Blade Cuts Heaven is slightly less embarrassing, but yrz still refuses to think about it. one day yrz gets an offering from a famous glass sculptor -- an incredibly beautiful sword made of blue glass. Even the hilt and pommel are glass. yrz loves this sword, but he’s not big on purely ornamental things and his followers know that, so he goes to test it out like you do. he descended to the mortal world because gods are getting annoyingly curious about what he’s doing around this time (about 500 years after ascending, about half his generation is gone already but yrz just keeps getting stronger). he asks a lady where a place nobody lives is becasue he doesn’t want to hurt anyone while testing his cool new sword, and gains a guide in the form a scared young man. in fact, everyone is scared, but yrz isn’t paying attention because new sword. the guide takes yrz a day away to a place that feels dead, and yrz is please because yeah nothing lives here, sweet. Thanks guide, ignores guides stuttered warnings and draws his sword. guide isn’t leaving for some reason, so yrz points away from him -- and swings.

fun fact: the sword is not ornamental.   

it not only doesn’t break, in fact, it’s so well made that it concentrates yrz’s qi into the cut. there's nothing but destruction for at least a mile. the clouds above are scattered. yrz is like hm. HM. hhhhhmm. that’s awkward. the guide starts thanking him in tears, babbling about some sort of evil tree or something sucking the life out of the area and apparently yrz cut it down on accident? yrz tells the guide his name because the guy won’t let go of his robes until he does, and nopes right out of there by meeting himself back up into heaven. miss me with that emotional shit, yo. only it turns out that the sword was strong enough to pierce all the way to heaven, and left a nasty gash in the main square. yrz goes to hide in his cave for a few years to avoid the backlash before anyone finds out it’s him. they do find out eventually, but no one is willing to push it by then for some reason. yrz is pleased he dodged a bullet. 

until prayers start coming in for Blue Glass Blade Cuts Heaven. the rest is history. 

[erlenmeyertrash]

emperor, hierophant, chariot, wheel of fortune, the sun // thot

uwu

the emperor: what are some names that you like?ooooo….f. i like so many names so i’ll just describe one type lmaoi like things that sound… slightly different. like someone made a valiant attempt at making a Perfectly Normal name but they were off just a bit. Virgil, Astrid, Maile, Isaiah, Lincoln, Emile, Landry, Genevieve,… things Like That

the hierophant: do you believe in ghosts?hhhhhmm. i’m not sure if i believe in like Harry Potter-esque, translucent-dead-people ghosts? but i’m definitely not about to put the supernatural in the “False and Fake” category.

the chariot: thoughts on astrology?i’m a taurus sun sag moon cancer rising what do you think (jk i think it is Very Interesting and i’m all for more ways to explain the human condition than just biochemistry etc., i think Cosmo’s “daily horoscope” is rooted in bullshit but Actual Experts on it know wtf they’re talking about. much like tarot cards :>)

wheel of fortune: first three songs that come on shuffle?so bad // robots don’t sleeptreacherous // taylor swiftimmigrant // jon bellion

the sun: do you believe in magic?OOF. i think so. i wouldn’t put it past the universe to make smth wonderful like that

send me asks based on the tarot cards~

[imaginesportsanimedorks]

HhhHHMM someone's been extremely lazy with this blog. I kid, I kid. Exams won't stop chewing me out. So!! Some ☆Kuroko headcanons☆ for y'all!! (Because I'm still not finished with the asks, although I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON THEM YAY.)

There are a few advantages to being 'invisible.' People tend to forget he's there, but Kuroko definitely uses that to his advantage.

He's the kind of person who cares about what's inside much, much more than outward appearances. He's much more than just his lack of presence, and so are you - more than how you look.

He loves people. He loves how different and unique they all are, and everything about them makes them so precious. So, really, he doesn't mind if you're an introvert or an extrovert. People would expect he wouldn't go after an extrovert because they'd be so loud, but that's not the case. He literally does not care about what kind of a person you are, as long as you are honest and stand for what you believe in.

He loves how the things you are passionate about seem to make you light up so much, even brighter than you usually are. It's beautiful to him, and makes him feel that much more in love with you.

Being used to not being observed, he himself is extremely observant of people around him, and whenever he sees that you might be worried, anxious... expect him to be there, supporting you. It would be a simple gesture, a hand on your shoulder, or back, or he'd slip it into your own hand, and rub the back of your hand with his thumb. Because he cares for you, he needs you to know there's someone always there for you at the end of the day, come what may.

This 'maturity' doesn't mean he's not capable of being silly, so you can expect to literally be stolen away. ;) You'd be walking down the hallway, and suddenly someone would be tapping at your wrist. The next moment, you can find yourself against the wall as Kuroko showers you in kisses. And no one even realises, so you can't even get out of the situation with someone's intervention.

Sometimes, it's interesting for him to go a little bit further, and watch how you react to everything. It makes him feel powerful, knowing someone like him - so easily forgotten, so easily blending into the background - has such an effect on you.

Teasing aside, he loves you a whole lot and wants you to treat yourself like royalty, because you deserve it. <3

I, uh, know these aren't exactly headcanons fkdksmsd but I just wanted to post these? '^_^ also wanted to let you guys know that you are beautiful and lovely and I adore all of you who read my stuff thANK YOU ♡♡♡♡

[aryannadraws]

Oof

It appears I have been a "little" inactive on here. It's not because I don't like MM anymore (the fandom is sadly dying though oof). But other things have been coming into my life. Such as family matters, and my love for K-Pop has gotten stronger. So, i'm not sure if I want to continue doing MM fanart, K-Pop fanart, or both. hhhHHMM

[roboticspacecase]

Was tagged by @ciphertext-x  thanks, gurk~

List all the things you’re currently working on in as little or as much detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on. Can be writing, art, cosplay, etc

Listen, I have too many on-going projects to list them all, so I’m just going to list the main one I’m doing :p

Bite Me: A story about a magicless witch, Felix, who lives with his aunts and older sister, powerful witches who keep the peace between the other magical creatures in the area. When an obnoxious vampire comes along, Felix has to put up with him and all the other vampires that seem to have followed him into town.

I stg it’s not a sappy vampire love story lol The romance happens gradually throughout the story as the two spend more and more time with each other trying to deal with the main plot of the book while also dealing with their own past demons. Starts out happy and silly but by the end it’s an angst-fest.

I’ll list off the main characters and leave out any side ones for now:

Felix Gomez: Our salty af protag that hates everything except for his ferret familiar, Kevin, and his family. He was born without any magic thanks to his human dad but still likes to act like he’s involved with the magic community. He’s 17 through the story and is pretty unsure of his sexuality at first, though later discovers he’s bisexual. He’s clever, snarky, and takes no shit. Can and will sleep all day.

Everett ((Rhett)) Mikkelsen: Sad, gay, dyslexic vampire who hides his pain from his Dark Past™ with jokes. He’s 161 in the story but looks 17/18 because that’s when he was turned. Personal thorn in Felix’s side, but really he just wants to romance the cute brunet while also trying not to accidentally kill him. He’s a pretty boi who wears sunglasses inside and will wear headphones to avoid talking to people. Can and will play Sandstorm on his kazoo in the middle of the hallway.

Ellie Gomez: Felix’s talented and social older sister. She sticks to the rules and enforces them with a smile, dishing out magical beatings when needed. Tends to stay away from romance because she fears it will interfere with keeping the peace but falls for Rhett’s cousin Theo. Queen bee cheerleader that is friends with most people but definitely keeps her distance from a few. Can and will kick your ass.

Theodore ((Theo)) Wood: A soft boi who would never swear in front of a lady. Stereotypical gentlemanly vampire until he needs to throw down, then his manners go out the window. He’s 164 but looks 19/20. Turns into a stammering fool when he’s around Ellie because she steals his heart when he sees her kick some ass. Also takes no shit, but never gets mad, he’ll just politely tell you to fuck off if you bother him. Constantly annoyed but hides it because he doesn’t want to seem like a dick. Can and will steal yo bitch.

Niko ((Nicholas)) Brown: Our main antagonist who’s literally garbage. Hobbies include killing a bunch of people, burning houses down, and leaving no one alive to tell the tale. Enjoys wearing tacky clothes and gold chains because he thinks he’s cool, also wears sunglasses inside. This ginger really does have no soul and is the source of Theo and Rhett’s pain. Can and will kill someone over a sour look.

Status: Don’t make me think about how much I have left to write lmao I have a “first draft”, a detailed outline, and the first chapter and a half done.

Counts: In the end, it’ll probs have like, 30ish chapters and 200,000ish words.

Blurbs:

“Yeah, y’know, like one of those cars!” Rhett said all too proudly.

“Pretty sure a Prius wouldn’t try to fucking eat me, but yeah, same thing, I guess.”

~

Seeing something move on its own is usually a surreal moment. Whether it’s a trick of the eye or some strange, unexplainable force, seeing an object fall or defy gravity seemingly by itself usually freaks people out.

Felix, however, saw it on a daily basis thanks to his aunts and sister. More often than not it was something as simple as bringing the remote over when it lay just out of reach, but occasionally they would move things as big as the furniture to clean. One time he had even walked into the house after school to find everything stuck to the ceiling because his aunts were deep cleaning the floors.

Hhhhhmm I tag pretty much anyone who wants to do this. I know I have a few writer friends on here, have at it, guys. Too lazy to tag y’all rn lol

[stenbrou]

Tagged by: @reddieairconditioner :D TYSM Rules: tag 10 of your followers you want to get to know better Name: STANlieeeee Gender: malllleee Star sign: leo!! Height: 5’6 :(( Sexuality: 100% gay What images do you have set as your desktop/cell wallpapers? on my phone its a pretty picture of sza and som daffodils on my laptop :D Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? thank FUCK no never What was your last text message? “this is my vegitarin BODY !” KBDJDJDJ What do you see yourself doing in 10 years? Um hopefully living and being Alive! If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be? hhhhhmm oregon What was your coolest Halloween costume? UM one year i went ALL out on my monster high costume i was so obsessed w monster high i think i waaaass draculaura What was your favorite 90s show? i was born in the 2000s but U ALRDY KNO its x files OFC Who was your last kiss? hm . New phone who dis Have you ever been stood up? no! Favorite ice cream flavor? i dont like ice cream :( Have you been to Las Vegas? no! I wish Your favorite pair of shoes? OHHH my red pumas or maybe my white puma creepers OR OR OR my adidas slides :D<3 What is your favorite fruit? strawberries!! What’s your favourite book? UH i dont remember the name but i read it when i was younger and it always stuck with me :D!!<3<3 What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done? IVE DONE /SO/MANY STUPID THINGS BUT probably breaking into a school OR calling the police on someone who just cut in line What loser? uhMY FAV?? bill <3<3<3 I’m tagging: I DONT KNOW im so shy. If ur reading this u r tagged ,there

[theguardian911]

Understanding the dog quality of life scale. Understanding the dog quality of life scale Dogs are our family. When we have one, we are responsible for taking care of him, protecting him, and just simply being there for him — as we would with any family member. We love cuddling, playing, and relaxing with our pups, and we want them to have the best quality of life possible. There might come a time when our dog gets old or sick and we have to make serious — and heartbreaking — decisions about how we should proceed. Choosing to euthanize a dog — or putting a dog down — is a complicated and difficult decision to make. You love your dog and don’t want her to die. At the same time, though, you also want your dog to maintain her quality of life. And if she’s in pain or unhappy, or has trouble doing everyday things, then you don’t want your dog to continue to suffer. So the big question is — how do you know when it’s the right time? In order to determine if euthanizing your pet is the right choice in your situation, Dr. Alice Villalobos, DVM, developed a Quality of Life Scale — also called the HHHHHMM Scale. This scale will help you be objective during this emotional time and assess your dog on specific quality of life factors that will then let you know if it’s time to let go of your lovable pooch. For each category, you will rate your dog on a 0 to 10 scale, with 10 being the highest rating and 0 being the lowest rating. It is suggested that you complete the scale assessment three times over three consecutive days to get the most accurate reading. HUNGER: Is your dog eating enough? Will hand-feeding help? Does your dog need a feeding tube? HYDRATION: Is your dog dehydrated? Do you need to supplement your dog’s fluid intake with subcutaneous fluids? How does your dog respond to the fluids? HYGIENE: Your dog should be brushed and cleaned regularly, especially after eliminations. Does your dog have incontinence problems? Does your dog have pressure sores? Keep any wounds clean and provide soft bedding. HAPPINESS: Does your dog show joy and interest? Is your dog responsive to his environment? Is your dog depressed, anxious, bored, lonely, or scared? Can you reduce your dog’s isolation by bringing her closer to the family? MOBILITY: Does your dog need assistance to get up? Does he want to go for walks? Is he stumbling or having seizures? Some people think euthanasia is preferable to amputation, but dogs with limited mobility can still lead happy lives as long as Pack Leaders are dedicated to providing the necessary care. MORE GOOD DAYS THAN BAD: If bad days outnumber the good days, then your dog’s quality of life might be compromised. If you can’t have a healthy human-dog bond, then the end is most likely near. When your dog is suffering, you will have to make a decision about euthanasia. After you score each category, add up the numbers. If your total score is above 35, then your dog’s quality of life is acceptable. If, however, your score is below 35, you should consider euthanasia. Also remember to always discuss your options with your vet to make sure you are making the right decision, regardless of the quality of life scale assessment.