#though i understand of course if given the time it's taken me to reply this may seem absurd

[that-butch-archivist]

Hi, I am looking for a lesbian magazine called Siren. It ran from 1995 to 2004. Do you happen to know about it and know where we can find it online? I'd be very grateful for your help please!

Hello, and thank you for your ask. First, my apologies for excessive delay.

Second, while I have yet to lay hands on a copy of any of the Siren periodicals myself, I have heard of it ... a cursory search of Worldcat shows that there are a few libraries in the USA (University of Wisconsin in Madison, WI, the Ohio State Library in Columbus, OH, and the Cornell University Library in Ithaca, NY) that may have copies of that magazine in their archives. Otherwise, it appears there are a number of Canadian libraries that have copies. See the details here. A Yale University guide from 2005 also claims to have a few of the magazines (See here.)

Worldcat is a pretty good resource, but of course it often doesn't capture the potential catalogue of every archive out there. If you are looking for in-person copies, I'd recommend studying a map of your area to see what colleges and libraries that might conveniently be in your area, and then perusing the internet for any associated websites these libraries and colleges might have. With any luck, they may have an online record listing their current archival contents. Any library or archive with a dedicated LGBT+ section might show promise ... and you can always ask that same archive if they know of any other archive with copies, if they themselves lack copies of the Siren magazine. (I would go for college archives first, personally.)

Going off wild guess, I would assume that within the USA, the best chances of finding a physical copy might lie with archives relatively close to Toronto, Canada, as that was where the magazine was originally published. State-wise, Toronto's closest neighbors are Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, and New York. I wouldn't be surprised if Chicago, Illinois has something ... I love the libraries over there, quite extensive.

As for online copies of Siren, I haven't run across an issue yet. If this changes, I'll report my findings with a reply to this same ask.

[futureperfectchanges]

The Pride Pin

"Have you got a little rainbow flag? Or maybe a rainbow handkerchief?" Edward asked the man behind the counter. He was on his way to a gay wedding and had seen a large pride flag in the window of this store which had given him an idea. "Basically something that I could put into my breast pocket for a wedding i'm going to." Before quickly adding: "To show my support to the grooms that is."

"Ah, how nice, although I'm afraid I only have large flags at the moment, but I do have a few pins left over from Pride, would one of those work for you?" replied the shopkeeper as he pointed to a box a little further down the counter.

"Looks perfect" Edward said as he picked up one of the pins.

"Just to check - you did say you wanted it to show you're an ally of the gay community didn't you? It's just that some of the items in this store can be a little, well, unpredictable, so just wanted to be clear about things before you try it on."

"Of course" Edward lied.

In truth Edward hadn't wanted to go to this wedding at all. He worked with one of the guys getting married, John. They had joined a law firm at the same time so had met during their induction and had been good friends for a while - at least until John had come out as gay and started dating guys. Edward was glad that John was happy, but had since mostly avoided hanging out together unless it was a work event. He had gone to one dinner soon after John's engagement to his boyfriend, Miguel, but had spent the whole meal feeling embarrassed. Everyone else at the table had been so obviously gay and they had made no attempt to talk quietly, so he was sure all the surrounding tables had been judging him all evening.

When Edward had received the invite to the wedding he had initially planned to decline it. What had changed his mind was the fact that a lot of John's straight female friends were going to be there, and with most of the other guys at the wedding being gay, it was almost guaranteed that he would hook up with one of the girls. He hoped that the pride pin was going to be the 'icing on the cake' with regards to getting attention from the girls. How could they turn down a guy who was so supportive of his friend? With any luck he would be back at home with a lady before the happy couple had even cut the cake.

"Here, let me put it on for you" the shopkeeper offered.

Edward had intended on keeping the pin out of sight until he had entered the wedding, but he didn't want to offend the shopkeeper so let him reach over and place the pin on his lapel - he'd just take if off as soon as he left the store.

Edward looked at the mirror behind the counter and his first thought was to worry that the pin might make the girls at the wedding think he was gay too. He started to wonder if it was a bad idea, and as if to confirm that he felt the pin prick his chest. Soon after he felt another prick and he wondered if the shopkeeper had failed to cover the back of the pin properly. When he started to feel more and more pricks on his chest, and not just where the pin was, he began to worry that something was wrong.

Edward felt like he was being stabbed with needles all across his chest and he felt like he had no choice but to pull his jacket off. He didn't know what was going on, but he needed to stop whatever was causing the pain.

Edward was confused. He had taken off his jacket and the pricking sensations had stopped, but when he looked down at his chest he didn't understand what he was looking at as it. What he first saw on his chest was a mix of colors that hadn't previously been there. It was as though someone had covered his chest in paint.

"¿Cómo?" Edward said aloud whilst continuing to stare at his chest. He had never had a tattoo so didn't understand what he was looking at. As he reached up to rub off whatever was on his chest it quickly dawned on him that the colors were not going to come off easily.

"What is this? Is this a tattoo? How do I get this off?" Edward asked in increasingly frantic tones, all with a slight Spanish accent. He had been so fixed on the new tattoos that he hadn't noticed that the rest of his body had taken on a subtle tan.

The shopkeeper didn't reply, he knew that if an item from his shop was not used as intended it could cause a little confusion for the customer, so he just waited to see what would happen.

"What is going on? And what's wrong with my voice?" Edward asked as he started to get angry. "I'm a dancer at Infernos nightclub and if you want to see me shake my ass... wait... no I meant to say i'm a dancer, no a dancer..." Edward had wanted to tell the shopkeeper that he was a lawyer at a powerful law firm and would kick his ass if he didn't fix what was going on but he didn't seem able to get the right words out.

Whilst Edward's mind tried to deal with what was going on, he started to wonder what sort of options he had to get rid of the tattoo, or what he could do just to cover it up. It was then that he looked back at the mirror and realised how much else had changed across his body. His heart sank as he knew there was no way he could cover everything up.

Edward sighed as he thought again about what to do with the tattoos, but was then confused. Why was he thinking of covering them up? He loved showing them off. He had spent so much of his life hiding who he was, but now there was no one who was going to stop him from being his true self. He was Eduardo - a proud Latino twink.

Eduardo felt the jacket he was holding and then remembered that he had come in to buy a new shirt. "Hey, do you have any dress shirts?" he smiled as he asked the storekeeper. "My best friend is marrying some fancy lawyer today and I want to look good for the occasion!"

[riamaple]

Life on Your Line (Ch. 12)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x f!Reader

Summary: Cursed to sacrifice your life to save another, you were never able to connect with others, always meant to drift before you could belong. Death was all you knew. Then, one day in Brooklyn, you saved a young man, and for some reason, you kept seeing him again. And again. And again. No matter where you went, across decades, you always found your way back to him.

He was forced to live to destroy, you were forced to die to save—bound together in ways neither of you could understand.

Warnings: Angst (with an eventual happy ending). Death and Dying. Self-Sacrifice (Immortality / Resurrection). Canon-Typical Violence / Description of Wounds. Suicidal Thoughts. Implications and References to Child Death, Suicide, Self-Destructive Behavior / Self-Harm.

< PREVIOUS CHAPTER

Word Count: 2.6k

CHAPTER 12: August 27, 2024

PART 2: BREATH IN YOUR MARGIN

How does someone tell a story if they don’t know how it started?

You still didn’t know the answer to that question.

And you certainly did not know what to do when those frost-blue eyes met your gaze.

You stared at the man who caught you while his eyes widened, his mind catching up to the sight before him, while his heart was already screaming. His eyes darted around, unable to pinpoint where exactly to focus on you as his memories—every moment he’d spent with you—flooded back into his head. Then, when his gaze landed back on your face, his lips went ajar.

He recognized you.

“You…”

He knew you. Shit—

“Hey!” Mandy waved widely at you from across the room, catching both of your attention. “Are you okay?”

You blinked at her, noticing the performance she was suddenly acting in—pretending she didn’t know the history between you and the man before you. So you gave her a laugh, trying to hide the tremor in your voice. “Y-Yeah! The ladder gave up on me just now.”

“I know, I saw!” She then pointed at the man, winking at him with a thumbs-up. “Great catch! You’re saving lives left and right, Sergeant Barnes!”

Bucky slightly flinched from Mandy’s loud enthusiasm before turning back to you. He opened his mouth, ready to greet you and—

“Oh! That’s where I know you from,” you said with soft excitement. “Sergeant Barnes. Of course, it’s you.”

He widened his eyes, clearly taken aback by your words and thinking he’d misheard you. “I— What?”

You quietly chuckled. “I thought I recognized you somewhere. I saw you fight those Flag Smashers on TV a month ago.”

It was an understatement to say Bucky looked shocked.

He was absolutely appalled by your words, looking like you had punched the wind out of him. His lips went ajar again, but not a single sound left them, even though he wanted to say something. His foot slid forward slightly, his body wanting to move closer to you, but stopped by the tremors in his legs.

When his eyebrows furrowed in confusion mixed with pain, your chest tightened, knowing it was your words that shook him—that you had called him something other than James after nearly eighty years of doing so. And when he focused back on your face, your heart ripped itself apart because, for the first time, there was something else behind those frost-blue eyes—a feeling that you wished you had never given him.

Not recognition. Not remembrance. Not longing.

It was betrayal because he knew you were lying.

But before he could reply—before he could call you out on your lies—you quickly turned your attention to the ladder to shield yourself from his face. 

You exhaled at the jagged wood pieces. “Well, that’s gonna be annoying to fix,” you said, pretending like Bucky hadn’t just looked at you with such pain.

The super-soldier didn’t even have time to say a word before Mandy approached you two, jogging with a worried smile. “Avery, how bad is it— Oh.” She paused, rubbing the back of her head. “Yikes… Uh, we’re gonna need to call an expert for that one.”

“Or just replace the whole thing.” You examined the ladder. “Might be easier to do that.”

“Rose?”

The breath in your throat got caught as you and Mandy looked back at him, taking in the disbelief in his face. “Rose… What…” He struggled to continue his words.

You blinked while Mandy watched your face, seeing false puzzlement seep into your expression. “...I’m sorry?”

Bucky lightly shook his head, searching your face again as his voice became firmer. “What are you doing?”

You only tilted your head, acting like you were trying to figure out what he was saying when you already knew. “Uh… I’m sorry, I’m a bit confused right now.” You nervously laughed. “I’m not so sure what you’re asking.”

He grimaced again, but not just from your comment. The way you delivered your line felt fragile, like you hadn’t rehearsed for this play you were suddenly thrown into. You found it insane—you had been alive for decades, lying effortlessly to strangers. And yet, there you were, failing to hide yourself from Bucky. But you kept on the act, hoping that the play would end soon.

Bucky took a small step forward. “No, that’s not… I… Why are you lying?”

“Lying?” You gave him another tight laugh, exchanging glances with Mandy. Although she had an excellent poker face, you could see the shock in her eyes from your reaction to Bucky. “I’m really sorry, but I’m not sure what we’re talking about here.”

“Rose, you know me. You—” He bit his lips, and you swore you could see his shoulders shake. “You know me. Why are you pretending you don’t?”

“Uh… I think…” you took a soft breath, “you've mistaken me for someone else.”

Suddenly, you were back in 1943.

Back at Riverside Bookshop, when a young man in a uniform caught your attention and you watched his expression quickly lose its content when he looked at you. The horror he had in his eyes was joined by a longing for you, but when you denied that he had mistaken you for someone else, he bit his tongue. He then just smiled at you, pretending like he didn’t just see a ghost he had wished to thank so many years prior.

Now, it felt too much like a coincidence—to see the same ghost in a little bookshop on the Brooklyn streets. You felt foolish to think you could trick him, but you had to try.

Bucky couldn’t bite his tongue this time, but the horror was still the same. And there it was again—the betrayal in his eyes, flickering as it stabbed your heart into multiple places. The pain within yourself grew, but that didn’t stop you from performing because you knew if you did, you’d crumble to the floor, just like that night when you watched him defend Manhattan from the Flag Smashers. 

It looked like he wanted to crumble as well, but before he could speak again, Mandy threw her arm around your shoulders with a laugh, ready to play along. “Jeez, again?” She turned to Bucky with a bright smile. “She gets that a lot more than you think. Have customers left and right asking if they went to school with her or something.”

You chuckled, shaking your head as you smiled at Bucky with guilt. “Yeah, I guess I just have one of those faces. I’m sorry, but we’ve never met before. If we did, I would’ve definitely remembered meeting Sergeant Barnes.”

Bucky stood frozen, his eyes still locked onto you as if his stare could break down your lies. But you kept it together, gazing back at him and pretending to look more uncomfortable as the silence dragged on.

“Uh…” Mandy cleared her throat and stood up straight. “Sergeant Barnes, are you okay?”

“I…” Bucky’s lips trembled as he suddenly looked away, and your chest tightened when you saw his hands curl into fists that shook by his sides. Then he tilted his head up, facing you once again with his mouth open to say something—anything—but nothing came out.

Then, finally, after a moment, his shoulders dropped as his eyes softened. He glanced at Mandy—this stranger who couldn’t possibly know about his history with you—and sighed as he gestured to your leg. “You’re bleeding.”

You blinked before looking down, wincing at the cut on your ankle that was caused by one of the jagged edges of the broken ladder when you had fallen. It wasn’t a severe wound, but Mandy jumped at the sight. 

“Oh, shit. Are you okay?” she asked, bending over slightly to get a closer look.

“Yeah. I didn’t even notice…” because it wasn’t the worst injury you’ve ever sustained. “It’s not deep. I just need to get it cleaned.”

“Right.” Mandy grabbed your hand and smiled at Bucky. “Uh, thanks for catching my boss here. Seriously, you saved her a lot of trouble.”

Bucky then turned to you, the confusion in his face stabbing your heart as you spoke. “Yeah, thank you. I would’ve gotten a lot more hurt if you hadn’t. I…” you forced a smile, “I’m sorry that I’m not who you’re looking for.”

If you had been given a knife to stab him with, Bucky would’ve told you it had hurt less than hearing your apology.

A stab wound, at least, was a kind of pain he was familiar with—a wound he had sustained numerous times throughout his life and tended to without fail. 

But your empty apology? It unraveled something deep inside him slowly without mercy, tearing him apart from the inside, as he could do nothing but stand there. His breath was gone, ripped out of his throat as if your words had used it up to exist. Bucky didn’t have the words to try to say—only able to watch you slip through his fingers despite standing in front of him right then and there.

He knew you. He knew it was you who was in front of him. Since he became a free man, he had looked for you—longed for you—and fought for his life to make his way to you. He had grasped onto the idea of finding you to survive through every obstacle, escape every possible death, and return from hell itself in hopes that one day, he could hold you again.

But instead, his body stiffened—not from anger, but in a way that kept himself together. His hands clenched and uncleaned at his sides while he bit his lip, hearing your lies echo in the space he had left for you in his heart.

He looked at you like an angel, but you stopped believing you were something so wonderful more than a century ago. He tried to find the truth in your eyes, but you wouldn’t let him have it.

So, finally, he took a soft breath and nodded. “It’s fine. Sorry to bother you.”

Then, without another beat, he turned around and walked out of the store as quickly as he had appeared.

The silence persisted even after Bucky left, but not for too long, as Mandy had begun to slowly turn her head, gazing at you with wide eyes. “Okay…so…”

A torn gasp escaped your throat, your shoulders trembling as the emotions all finally came rushing at you. Before Mandy could process your sudden shift in posture, you dropped to your knees, eyes wide but staring at nothing.

“Holy fuck—” Mandy dropped to the floor beside you, clutching your hand. “Avery? Avery, are you okay?”

You couldn’t respond at that moment. Instead, you bit your lip to force the panic to settle before squeezing her hand. You then shut your eyes and began to carefully take a couple of slow breaths, although the air tasted sharp and unforgiving, almost like it was punishing you for lying to Bucky. But you continued to breathe slowly, feeling your heart beat rapidly against your tightened chest.

Eventually, you slipped your hand out of Mandy’s and opened your eyes, the weight of the atmosphere still pressing down on your chest. But your face was unreadable as you quietly got to your feet, moving as if you hadn’t just fallen.

Blinking, Mandy stood up with you and carefully watched your face. “Avery… Why didn’t you—”

“Stop,” you immediately said, walking away to the backroom.

“No, hold on.” She followed you with pinched eyebrows. “You lied to him. I know I helped you just now, but how could you—”

You sighed, “Mandy, I don’t—”

“I know we talked about this, but come on, Avery, you still love—”

“Mandy!” You spun around to face her, tears shimmering in your eyes. “I said stop it!” 

She flinched, her body recoiling instantly with her mouth still open from the question she couldn’t finish. Your chest heaved as your yell still burned in your throat, but when you saw the worry and fear on Mandy’s face, the anger left your system while guilt replaced it.

“Shit, I…” You sighed, your shoulder slumping. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell.”

Mandy didn’t reply. Instead, she continued to watch you with concern. You found it truly amazing that despite the way you acted, she still had the heart to care about you.

And that only stung you more.

You shook your head, holding your hands together as you whispered. “I….I just don’t want to talk about it. At least…not right now, okay?”

It wasn’t the first time Mandy had seen you move like you were made of broken glass, but it didn’t hurt any less. Your tone was weak, unable to hide the anguish spilling from the deepest parts of you. Within you, there was a hollowness that could only be healed by the man you loved, but you refused to accept him as your only savior now.

Despite everything you had told Mandy—how it was always Bucky you were meant to find throughout the decades of both of your survivals—you just couldn’t let him be anything special to you anymore.

Although she was reluctant to let go of this conversation, Mandy nodded. “Okay… Let’s…let’s just take a look at your cut, yeah?”

<><><>

Boots scraped harshly against the concrete, each step trying to grind down the ground with the weight of Bucky’s frustration. The sound pierced into his ears, but he couldn’t give a shit about the way he walked at the moment. His hands were buried deep in his pockets, fists curled so tightly into the leather that his knuckles began to ache, while his breaths came sharp through his nose as his jaw was clenched shut.

Every muscle in Bucky’s body felt like it was bracing for another attack, for it felt like it had gone through the fastest war ever in that bookstore. And worst of all, he felt like he had lost—lost in his reunion with his angel, and that made him want to scream. He wanted to scream so loudly that the windows around him would shatter, but he just bit his lip harder and harder and—

He hissed, tasting blood in his mouth when his teeth dug a little too deep into his skin. He halted in his steps, his breaths now coming through aggressively, the cold air stinging the cut on his lip further. Cursing at himself, Bucky carefully wiped the blood off his chin, the red now settling on his gloves as he tried to collect himself.

Desperately, he reached into his shirt and tugged on some chains, pulling out his dog tags and…

Peace.

Bucky felt peace.

The silver locket was warm in his hand, bringing him a sense of comfort that he always needed whenever chaos was thrown at him. He gazed at it for a while, his breath slowly evening out while some of the tension in his shoulders faded. His eyes, full of heart and sorrow, stayed on the locket, and without any force, he softly smiled.

Most of the time, he didn’t even know he’d be smiling just from looking at the locket.

But as quickly as it came, his smile disappeared before he turned around, eyes fixed on the sidewalk that stretched toward the bookstore.

Maybe he hadn’t found the truth within your eyes, but that wasn’t going to stop him from trying again.

After all, the love of his life worked at a bookstore too, didn’t she?

NEXT CHAPTER >

AN: WELCOME BACK!! Here we go with Part 2!!

General Taglist! @a-century-of-sass @clemicious @fallenxjas @paryl @frog-fans-unite @sebastians-love @buckvoidsyy @recorddust @nj01 @avengersgirllorianna @western-nightss @chonkybonky @weasleyswheezeys @balatroaddict @herejustforbuckybarnes @redtaytan

Thanks for reading :)

[muqingslover]

[ Alright pookies, buckle up because this is going to be a hella of a bumpy and angsty ride. This is inspired by all the information floating around the chip in Caleb's brain and my own twist on it ]

FORGET-ME-NOT

Now playing: Nothing's New by Rio Romeo.

There was a buzzing in his ears.

Where was he? His eyes scanned around the familiar room and landed on his hands that were stained red— Blood.

How had it got there again? Whose blood was this?

"Caleb—!" A voice cuts through the buzzing and his eyes find the person in front of him. There was also crimson on your skin— Oh, did the blood on him belong to you? How did you get hurt?

Who....are you, again?

.

.

.

"How long more do you intent on keeping me trapped here?!" The yelling could be heard across the hallways of the Colonel's private quarters. Most of the passing guards hardly batted an eye in reaction anymore; It was just another Thursday.

"For as long as I have to if it means you're safe." He answered, always patient and gentle, yet so very certain of his words.

Every day was a repeat of the last for the past month. Caleb would often come visit the room he had confined you in and let you to vent all of your frustrations onto him while he organized the messy space; a result of your unsuccessful attempts at running away.

You were at your wit's end with him. Every argument you brought to him seemed to go in one ear and out the other. Caleb had no doubts that what he was doing was the correct thing, or that you would understand his side with given time, and so he didn't see the point in arguing back with you. To you, however? it was no different than being treated as an item he owned.

"Oh, but of course." You scoffed, watching him refill the empty vase near your bed with a fresh set of 19 blue roses. Never more, never less. Not that you cared, you had let every single one of those gifts rot and refused to accept anything from the man. The only reason you still ate some of your meals was because you knew you'd need the strength if you were to run away. You had no intention of wasting away in this place. "The colonel always have an answer for everything."

"That's not true," He replied with a calm that only served to rile you up even more. His hands carefully pruning the thorns left on the stem as he continued "It only seems that way because you keep asking me the same thing."

You could only shake your head in disbelief, letting out a humorless, breathy chuckle. The gods are ought to give you patience because if they give you strength oh so help him. It felt pointless to keep talking to someone who wasn't trying to actually listen. How had the man who had seen each and every of the scars, fears and dreams you kept close to your heart become so blind and deaf?

Your body hit the bed as you let it fall back, sitting down and lowering your head onto your own hands. "If this is how I have to live then I'd rather not live at all." The weary mumble escaped your lips and your eyes fluttered close for a moment, thinking back on a certain doctor that was certainly balding by now from worry about you. It was a shame you couldn't even do as much as send a hello to him.

The clank of the scissors being suddenly placed down echoed in the silent room as Caleb turned his body towards you. "Don't say that. Ever." He asked, though it sounded more like a command rather than a request.

Your head snapped back up at him. Now he wanted to control what you said as well? Oh not this time. Venom seeped through your words and you couldn't help the hostility that set into your body "Why not? Hm? Because you'd be oh so very sad to have your favorite toy taken away?"

"You are not a toy—" He began while he stepped closer but you interrupted, standing up until you were face to face with him. "You surely treat me as one. Dressing me up, controlling who I talk to, what I can or can't do, when I leave, when and what I eat."

He tried to argue, however you didn't let him. He was going to listen now even if it was the very last thing you did.

"Maybe you were right after all," The confession left a bitter taste in your mouth. Caleb stood right in front of you, the same Caleb you once loved yet you couldn't recognize him. "Maybe you were always like this. I was just...too blind to realize that you never cared for me. No, you only wanted to satisfy that compulsive need to control everything about my li—"

"Stop!" He finally cut in with a loud voice that stunned you into silence. He grabbed your shoulders and lowered his head to hover just above yours, his eyes swirling with emotions as he gazed into yours. It was if he was pleading for you to understand, to believe him. "I can't keep losing you time, and time again. Please you...You have to understand."

Like a leaking faucet the words left his lips faster than he could stop himself. Caleb could take your hatred, he could accept your harsh words and keep a smile on his face when you hit his chest because you were, for once, safe, with him. What he can't do is let you believe he is using you or treating you the same way the disgusting scientists did while you were children. He is nothing like those people. His legs lost their strength and he slowly lowered himself in front of you. His grasp sliding down from your shoulders to take your hands into his shaky ones, pressing them against his forehead.

"I love you. I love you with all of what's left of myself. More than I should have, so much more than I will ever deserve, and I will keep loving you until...until I..." His voice faltered. A sudden throbbing on his head caused his voice to sound distant to his own ears and he knew exactly what came next.

This was not good.

Caleb pushed you away as he quickly forced himself up on his feet and stumbled back until he accidentally hit the wall behind him. One of his hands clutched his hair tightly, hoping that the pain would keep him grounded for long enough for you to get to safety.

"You need— You must to go." His free hand raised in a silent request for you to stay away, his jaw tightening and his breathing quickly turning ragged with each sharp tug at his consciousness. This was by far the last thing he needed right now. "Please. Just listen—"

"What!? No! No way, I'm not leaving right now. We have to finish—" You tried to argue, but your speech was cut by his voice raising as he snapped at you for the first time in all these very long years. "Get the hell out! NOW!"

The man let out a dragged out, pained groan as both of his hands clutched his head. 'Serve', 'Obey', 'Exterminate', 'Mission'; Several of the ingrained commands rushed in at once. Caleb could almost feel the chip burning away at the small parts of his wired brain and destroying what little was left of himself. He tried to cling to the memories that always kept him strong, tried to cling to you, but this time was different. Your presence was a threat by itself, in more ways than one, and he needed to get you as far from himself as possible right now otherwise—

"Caleb? Hey, Caleb! What are you— Stop!" He heard your voice in the distance, however he remained unable to act on his own accord. He was confined in his own mind to spectate how his hand grabbed you by your throat, tightly pressing against your airway before pinning your back against the wall.

"Who sent you?" His unfeeling voice demanded. The sharp, purple eyes searched the face of the struggling intruder in front of him— How had you slipped past him again? It doesn't matter. He will exterminate the danger first and ask questions later. It would be too dangerous to allow a threat to run loose now that he had e̸̋̅͐͐̍̎͑r̵̒̄̏̆̏̄̊̐͂́̚̕r̷̛̝̫̻͓̙̽̀̉̏̅ǫ̷̛̮͛̒̋́̋̈́̕̚͘̚͠r̶̛̍̎̽͌̊̀̒̚͝ to protect.

...Huh?

Wait.

Who...did he have to protect?

Your nails clawed at his wrists as you tried to slip out of his death grip, but the lack of oxygen to your brain made it hard to come up with a plan of escape. Something was obviously wrong. Caleb might have changed, but you knew he would never hurt you under any circumstances. Even though his controlling actions made you feel suffocated more than enough times they were rooted in his desire to keep you safe.

So, why? What in the world had happened in that small second?

Your unanswered questions were unable to leave your lips as a few stray tears trickled down from your eyes and you couldn't find it on yourself to actually hurt him back. By the gods, a hunter who is choosing to remain still while being strangled has to be most ridiculous thing anyone will ever witnessed.

But how could you? Despite all the fights and bitter feelings, he's still sweet, old Caleb you grew up with.

'Do not hesitate. Remember that.' The voice abruptly echoed in the back of your mind and a memory of weeks ago flashed before your eyes.

-

-

-

"Fine, hate me all you want pipsqueak. But, remember this: If someone that resembles me ever attacks you do not hesitate to fight."

"Are you seriously saying you spawned an evil twin now or something?" You retorted with a roll of eyes at his beyond ridiculous warning, assuming it was just another of his attempts of scaring you into staying put.

Caleb, however, didn't laugh like he usually would. Instead, the man moved closer, grabbing your hands to make sure you were completely focused on him. "Do. Not. Hesitate. Not even for a second. Understand?"

His demeanor left no room for your sarcastic attitude and you merely nodded in agreement, unsure about what to even say in return.

"Atta girl!" He smiled satisfied, patting your head and ruffling your hair.

-

-

-

Right.

He was Caleb, but he was not exactly your Caleb. At least not at the moment.

Maybe a pounding to his head will fix him right up, who knows. It worked when you were both much younger kinda so you might as well knock back some sense into him the old-fashioned way.

Your feet pushed into his stomach as you tried to give yourself some leverage for air and quickly grabbed the vase near the bedstand, shattering against his head as hard as you could. You gasped when his hands released you, rubbing the bruised skin around your throbbing neck and coughing dryly. However, there was not a moment to spare. You pushed yourself up again to grab him, shaking him by his shoulders as if he was a ragdoll.

"CALEB! Wake the hell up! HEY!" Your voice was strained and filled with panic but you tried to sound as loud as you possibly could to get the other to snap out of whatever dazed state he seemed to be in.

Meanwhile, the man stood there in silence with water soaking down his uniform. He had seen the attempt coming, it was too pitiful to even be called an attack in his eyes, yet his body didn't move. Had he hesitated? Him? Hesitating? Why? Ugh, his head is killing him.

He could feel the aggressive electric current in his brain that caused things to slip through his fingers like sand; It was right there, on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't find it. If he was to be honest, Caleb didn't even know what "It" even was anymore. All he knew is that it felt like it was important.

"CALEB—!" The voice called again, causing him to close his eyes in reflex to the loud the noise. Were you somehow related to what he felt like he had to remember?

You might just be the dumbest rat he's caught since he came here. Regardless, his order was only one when it came to the likes of you: Eliminate. His questions could wait until he was done and his head didn't feel like a church bell.

His hand reached behind his back where he felt his gun and in a swift move he pulled it out and held the barrel towards the person in front of him. His eyes opening once more as he caught sight of your familiar features and something about you made a small fire inside of him to ignite and—

BANG.

.

.

.

Oh.

It's you.

𖹭 Tag: @captivating-flavors

[Who can tell me the meaning behind the flowers he gifted the reader? You get a cookie if you get it right! Also, part two? 🧐]

[selfshipdatabase]

🌹Selfship Database Introduction!! 🌹

Hello, everyone! Inspired by other blogs such as selfshippersfromthissource and there being blogs with this kind of gimmick in the past, I wanted to try my hand at this—making a carrd that functions as a database sorted by source/fandom. While it can function as a way to find selfshippers in the same source or just wanting to see if someone ships from a certain source, I’d also like to see which sources are the most common within selfshippers!

Please reply/reblog/send an ask if you would like to be included! I will not include anyone who does not give me this kind of confirmation.  And below read more will be some ground rules going forth for this blog :-) of course, things can change as this database evolves, but these are the guidelines I am currently following!

1- While I understand this can and will impact results, I ask that those will label themselves as proshippers dni for my own personal comfort. i have no desire to entertain or be neutral toward incest, rape, pedophilia, whatever on my own blog. i have no desire to entertain people shipping with minors while they’re adults, rapists, fascists, pedohpiles, etc. While I try to stay in the know, I cannot simply know everything, so I will always assume 100% good faith unless I have proof otherwise. I can remove people from the database. However, outside of these reasons, unless you personally request to be taken off, I won’t ever remove anyone.

2- I will also refrain from including the following sources on my blog/database— countryhumans, hetalia, attack on titan, your boyfriend/boyfriend to death, the coffin of andy and leyley, degrees of lewdity, harry potter. Other than whatever is listed and anything that may apply to the first one, everything else is on the table. Whatever’s listed can be changed, but I would rather not blacklist a lot.

3- As there are some things that I won’t include and there’s some boundaries in place, I understand fully this won’t be a fully unbiased/100% accurate database. While I would like to see the data and to combine my interest in this kind of subject with selfshipping, this is purely for fun and a side project for me. Please do not use my blog as some kind of factual source (I mean, it’s a tumblr blog, so no matter… it’s not one lol) and please keep things lighthearted.

4- A source/fandom will be listed whenever there's two selfshippers for that source. Exceptions may apply if certain sources/fandoms are requested. Though, I won’t accept every request if there’s not enough selfshippers for a source.

5- For simplicity and not overworking myself, for this database, I will only include romantic and queerplatonic f/os. Queerplatonic f/os will be noted as such with (QP) by the character's name. If you want to he included, all I ask is there to be a public f/o list somewhere accessible on your blog. You don’t have to send it to me as long as it’s linked somewhere easy to find on your blog.

6- For the time being, some media will be lumped together, examples being Marvel, DC, Disney, Slashers, Tim Burton, etc. Some may be given their own section if there’s a notable amount of selfshippers for a certain media in that category and/or by request potentially.

7- For any updates to people’s f/o lists, I will try to schedule times where I personally look through them again and make any changes to keep the database current. It’s not required at all, but any heads ups would be appreciated! 

8- Anonymous is turned off for asks for my own comfort. If you send an ask that you don’t want answered or would like to have your url cropped out of, please include it SOMEWHERE in your ask, either at the end or beginning will work. Also, currently, messages are turned off. They may be turned on in the future if need be. Unfortunately, I cannot see shadowbanned blogs. Please be aware!

9- Please note that I am one person. I am also a selfshipper, a non-sharing one at that, but I am hoping to be able to push through if that ever comes up in order to make this database. There may be days where I’m not active on this blog or answering asks. Please be patient with me!! If I ever decide to step away from this project, I will make a clear post that states that exactly.

10- Now, as I am dealing with a large part of the community, I understand the risks that could occur with something like this. If something bad was to ever occur from this database (drama in general, me dealing with any strong negativity), depending on the severity, I will shut down this project. Especially if others are harassed for something. I do not tolerate harassment at all.

I may add more or remove some aspects in the future. For now, the carrd will be public with the sources in alphabetic order. Then, the urls and characters said selfshipper ships with will be in each section. Suggestions are welcomed for things I could add or change! Though, I may be picky with what suggestions I take to stay on task for this database.

[s4vcu]

blue.

| pairing: seishiro nagi x (f!) reader

| in which he comes to realize his (developing) feelings and how much you truly mean to him, all during your absence.

| ft. blue by yung kai! (will always love this song, overrated or not 🥹)

a/n: this is honestly very random yet i couldn’t help but connect nagi to the song blue somehow..so here it is! this super duper long, so i apologize..but anyways that’s that! i hope u enjoy hehe :)

——————————————————————————

as far as seishiro nagi knew, everything was seen as a hassle, even if he was given a simple task and used to being alone. aside from having reo as his friend, choki to keep him company, his phone and his bed, that’s what he thought was all he needed - until you came along.

initially finding you annoying due to your persistence of wanting to be friends with him, he reluctantly let you into his life since reo, a mutual friend of you two, tried convincing him before - but mostly because denying you of a friendship would mean you’d be even more persistent than you already were, which was already a hassle for him to deal with. of course.

“seishiro nagi? that’s a cool name!!”

“sure. what was yours again?”

“(f/n) (l/n)!”

“i see.”

“that’s all?”

“pretty much, yeah.”

“oh..well anyway..can we be friends now?”

“no thanks.”

“again?!”

“mhm.”

‘sigh..’

at the start showing his disinterest in mostly anything you had to say or anything to do with getting to know you, your observant quality allowed you to know more about him and understand him better - slowly but surely, though deep down he was just as subconsciously observant but in his own subtle way, unbeknownst to you.

seeing how you somehow managed to put up with him and his behaviour that he was accustomed to had sparked something. something that made him realize that there was more to you than he thought.

your amount of patience that was endless, your constant kindness and respect towards everyone (even to those who were rude or mean to you), and most of all the comfort in your presence, whether the both of you knew it or not, was something taken for granted in those moments.

and so, the indifference and tolerance he felt towards you and the so called friendship had grown into appreciation of your presence and a now mutual willingness to form a deeper friendship.

and so, time passed by as you, reo and nagi were together in nagi’s dorm, hanging out like the usual before reo brought up soccer and how there was a new program.

“ooh! it’s called blue lock? i see!” you say as reo smiled, introducing the program and talking about what it’s going to include.

meanwhile, nagi was busy as per usual on his phone, though instead of usually and entirely being submerged into his game, he was listening in to the conversation, also taking a few quick glances at you. the more blue lock was being discussed, the more he found himself noticing the hint of sadness in your expression.

“so that means you guys will be leaving me soon.” you muttered, a small pout on your lips as reo could only smile softly, feeling bad as he comforted you the best that he could.

“i know, (y/n). there's still two weeks. it’s okay, we-“ reo says before interrupted.

“we won’t be there for long.” nagi says, catching the two of you off guard.

“i’m surprised you were listening, sei.” you said in response, reo nodding along. “but still, you and reo are leaving me.” you say, a hint of sadness in your tone.

“i know.” he simply responded before unexpectedly turning off his phone, looking up at you and making direct eye contact, focusing on you. “but we’ll still come back to you.”

you paused, about to say something but didn’t follow through with it. what he just said wasn’t something to make a big deal out of, yet there was a deeper meaning, to you atleast. something that meant more - his reassurance to you. it was then that your heart fluttered.

“you promise, sei?” you say, much softer this time, the sadness more evident now.

“yup, promise.” he replies, reo also further reassuring you, though all that was in your mind was a replay of what he said, how he stopped what he was doing, the way he looked at you - all of which that had just happened seconds ago.

since then, you couldn’t help but feel something different. why was your heart pounding uncontrollably whenever nagi was brought up, whenever the two of you would lay on your stomachs together and play his favorite game? it’s nothing new, you’ve gotten used to that, it became a regular occurrence..so why..?

why did you just fall for the seishiro nagi who probably didn’t even know what love was?

as the days passed and you were listening to music while you studied in nagi’s dorm room, reo leaving you and nagi alone since he had something to do with his parents and focused on the material you were reviewing, you were completely unaware of nagi’s unusually curious glances at you. before you could notice, he suddenly sat beside you, resting his head on your shoulder, finding comfort in your presence and getting your attention.

"(y/n).." he grumbled.

“hm? what’s up, sei?” you said softly as you moved one side of the headphones off your ear, your heart racing so fast you swore that he could hear.

he gestured to your phone and then your headphones.

“what’re you listening to?”

you tapped the phone lightly, your lockscreen glowing, showing him what song was playing.

“blue by yung kai. it’s my favorite.” you say, smiling. “you should listen to it sometime.”

“mm..'m too lazy to.” he replied, though there was a hint of something in his eyes, almost as if he was actually considering it for another time.

“of course you would say that.” you simply say, laughing softly as the two of you continued to do your own thing, his head still on your shoulder.

it was those moments that were simple, yet taken for granted. soon enough, the two weeks that you had left with the two passed by. you said your goodbyes to them both, though tears were in your eyes as reo gave you a quick hug, leaving you and nagi behind briefly to talk. they were all you had, changing your life in ways they didn’t even know, especially nagi. though you kept your feelings hidden away, the painful reality that you wouldn’t be able to see and be with him everyday anymore made your heart hurt deeply.

“sei..please do your best, okay? but please come back soon.” you muttered, sniffling as he surprisingly, for the first time, pulled you in for a hug, though very awkwardly.

“mm..i’ll see about that. and i told you already, i’ll come back. so don’t be so sad.” he replied, letting you drench the fabric of his hoodie with your tears before pulling away a bit, looking down at you. “besides, i’ll text you every chance i get.”

“..okay.” you mumbled, sniffling as you hugged him tight once more before pulling away from him entirely, apologizing for getting his hoodie wet as he shrugged it off. you found yourself missing the warmth of his embrace already as he nodded before turning around and walking away from you. “i’m always going to be supporting you. even if i’m not around. take care..” you say, unsure if he heard or not but wanting to get that out - and he did, his heart unusually fluttering at what you just said, wondering what he felt. he looked down at his hoodie, the area where your tears drenched the fabric being just at the spot where his heart was. what was that he felt just now?..it feels..different.

and so, two weeks later, nagi found himself asking fellow roommates or anyone for earphones, headphones of any sort that he could borrow - eventually listening to blue, thinking of you.

“reo, do you have headphones with you?”

“no, why?” reo replied, silence filling the room before he suddenly smiled.

“wait…is it because of (y/n)? finally gonna listen to the songs she’s been recommending you to?” he teased, immediately knowing.

“yeah. i guess..it’s nothing.” nagi replied, shrugging it off, though feeling a pang of something in his heart from the teasing.

reo laughed. “things will make sense soon, don’t worry.” he replied, walking away. what did he mean? what would make sense..? nagi thought as he finally found headphones he could borrow, settling into his shared room and laying in his bed, searching up blue and listening to it.

“your morning eyes, i could stare like watching stars. i could walk you by, and i’ll tell without a thought you’d be mine, would you mind? if i took your hand tonight..know you’re all that i want in this life.”

he sighed, thinking back to the moments your eyes locked with his own, the detail of your lashes fluttering gently with every blink, the warmth in your eyes..he could vividly remember it all. he wondered what it would be like to hold your hand in his - though quickly pushing that thought away.

“i’ll imagine we fell in love, i’ll nap under moonlight skies with you..i think i’ll picture us, you with the waves, the ocean’s colors on your face. i’ll leave my heart with your air, so let me fly with you. will you be forever with me..?"

what was love? what was it like to be in love? were questions he asked himself, continuing to listen to the song. as it finished, he found himself replaying it over and over in hopes that there was some sort of answer the song could give him - and the more that he did, the more he solely thought of you - your kindness, your patience with him, your profuse amounts of support for him and every single moment which he had taken for granted, slowly coming to understand what he’s been feeling lately.

as he could only sigh and replay your favorite song over and over again, slowly continuing to understand everything and letting things settle in, one thing was for sure:

he misses you and your presence, dearly - almost to the point where he was considering quitting, just to come back to you already like he had promised. to think the one person who he found annoying at first had slowly paved their way into being someone who truly means so much to him..and going to say as far as becoming his motivation, even, changed everything.

"hey, (y/n). i listened to blue like you said i should. i like it a lot." he texted, followed by another text.

"..i miss you."

[annewithaneofthegreengable]

CHAPTER 3: Funkel, funkel, kleiner Stern

Author’s note: I'm back!

Taglist: If you would like to be added to the taglist please comment down below for me to know!

Anna Vettel came running out of daycare with a wide grin on her face. Her grandparents just wished her dad could have been there to see it as she ran into their arms. It wasn’t his fault; even once his little girl was born, he still had a job to do.

Sebastian was there for half of the week at least. But for the rest of the week, his parents took care of her, feeding her, letting her sleep in the bedroom she had in their house, and transporting her to and from daycare. Every time her dad would leave, Anna would scream and cry for at least a couple of hours. At least until her grandparents had her face-timing her father and Seb could talk to his little girl.

Today; however, is a bit different since Heike got a phone call from Anna’s teacher saying that Anna is feeling under the weather. Things went on a downward spiral ever since that phone call. His Mein Häschen’s temperature was burning that night, while the doctor only said that she caught a cold. Sebastian Vettel sat in his hotel room, a mixture of worry and guilt gnawing at his heart. He hated being away from his little princess, especially when she was feeling unwell. His phone rang, interrupting his thoughts. Seeing the caller ID, he quickly answered. "Hello?"

Sebastian spoke into the phone, his tone laced with concern. "How is she doing, mama?"

Heike sighed on the other end. "The doctor said she caught a cold," she replied in a tired voice. "But her temperature is really high. She's been miserable all day."

Sebastian's worry intensified, and his grip tightened around the phone. "Has she been taking any medication for the fever?" he asked a hint of desperation in his voice. Heike confirmed, "Yes, we've given her some children's Tylenol, but it doesn't seem to be bringing the fever down much."

Sebastian let out a frustrated sigh. "Is she sleeping at all?" he inquired, his heart aching at the thought of his little princess suffering.

Heike answered with a weary tone, "She's been having trouble sleeping because she's so uncomfortable. She keeps tossing and turning."

Sebastian's worry deepened, a pang of helplessness settling in his gut. "Have you tried giving her a cool bath to help bring down her fever?" he suggested, desperate to find a solution. Heike responded, "Yes, we have. But it only seems to help for a short while. The fever always spikes back up afterwards." Sebastian's grip on the phone tightened, his mind racing for a solution. "Is there anything else the doctor advised? Anything we can do besides the medication and the cold bath and the compress?"

Heike replied, her voice filled with exhaustion, "The doctor said to keep an eye on her temperature and bring her back if it doesn’t go down in a couple of days. But she's so miserable, Seb."

Sebastian's heart ached hearing his daughter was in such distress. "I wish I could be there," he uttered, his voice hoarse with emotion. "I hate being away when she's not feeling well."

Heike offered comfort, "I know, Seb, but being there for your races is important too. You're doing the best you can." 

Sebastian's eyes closed momentarily, the weight of being away from his sick daughter heavy on his shoulders. "I can't concentrate on anything else," he confessed, his voice tinged with despair. "All I can think about is Anna and how much she's suffering."

Heike reassured him, "I understand, but trust me, she's being taken care of. She misses you, though."

“Can I talk to her, mama?” 

Heike paused for a moment, knowing Sebastian's longing to hear his daughter's voice. "Of course, Seb," she said gently. 

A few moments later, Anna's small, slightly hoarse voice came through the phone, "Papa?"

Sebastian's heart skipped a beat as he heard his daughter's voice. "Yes, Mein Häschen, it's me," he replied, his own voice filled with a mix of worry and relief.

Anna's voice cracked as she spoke, "I miss you, Papa. I don't feel good."

Sebastian's chest tightened with a pang of guilt and empathy. "I know, mein Häschen," he murmured, using his affectionate nickname for her. "I miss you too, and I wish I could be there to take care of you."

Sebastian's voice softened even more, his heart breaking at his daughter's suffering. "Grandpa and Grandma are taking good care of you, right?" he inquired, still wanting to hear her little voice.

Anna's voice wavered a bit, but she responded, "Yeah, they are. Uncle Fabian is here too. But I just want you, Papa."

Sebastian sighed, his heart heavy with love and worry. "I know, Mein Häschen, I know," he murmured, his voice filled with empathy. "I wish I could be there with you too. I feel so bad that I can't be there to make you feel better." 

Sebastian's voice trembled slightly as he continued talking to his daughter. "Can you do something for me, Anna?" he asked, hoping to find a way to comfort her from afar.

There was a brief moment of pause before Anna spoke again, her voice still weak but curious. "What is it, Papa?"

Sebastian took a deep breath, finding the right words to say. "I want you to close your eyes and imagine me right beside you," he said softly. "Just pretend that I'm there, holding your hand and stroking your hair like I used to do when you were younger."

Sebastian's voice was gentle and soothing as he continued, "Can you picture it, Häschen? Can you feel my hand on your forehead, checking your temperature? Can you hear me whispering sweet nothings in your ear like I used to do when you had a nightmare?"

Sebastian's voice became even softer, filled with tenderness. "Just remember how I used to sing you that lullaby when you were a baby? The one you always asked for?" he inquired, hoping to bring some comfort to his little princess.

“Funkel, funkel, kleiner Stern, Ach wie bist du mir so fern, Wunderschön und unbekannt, Wie ein strahlend Diamant, Funkel, funkel, kleiner Stern,... Can you help me finish it, Häschen”

“Ach wie bist du mir so fern, Papa.” she softly sing through the phone.

Sebastian's heart swelled with both pain and tenderness as he heard Anna's soft voice finishing the lullaby. He swallowed back the lump in his throat before replying, "Yes, that's right, mein Häschen. You remember it well."

Sebastian took a deep breath, his voice filled with love and worry. "Can you promise me something, Häschen?" he asked, his tone serious. Sebastian's voice was gentle but firm as he waited for Anna's response. "Can you promise me that you'll be a brave girl, even when you're feeling sick?" he inquired, his words tinged with a mixture of concern and love. Sebastian's voice softened even further, echoing the gentle pleading in his words. "And can you promise that you'll take your medicine and drink lots of fluids like Grandpa and Grandma tell you to?" he asked, his heart clenching as he thought of his little girl's discomfort. Sebastian's voice quivered slightly as he added, "And if you need me, you can call me anytime you want, okay, Häschen? I might not be there physically, but I'm only a phone call away."

Sebastian's voice was heavy with an undertone of helplessness as he continued, "I wish I could do more to make you feel better, mein Häschen. I wish I could be there with you, holding you in my arms and taking away your pain. But I promise, I am thinking about you every second of the day, and I'm doing everything I can to get back to you as soon as possible."

“Papa?” “Yes, Häschen.” “I’m sorry I couldn’t watch you go vroom vroom this week,” Seb swears he could have cried like a baby the moment he heard that.

“No, No, Häschen, you will see me go vroom vroom soon enough, the most important thing now is your health. Can you promise me to do all the things I have asked you to?”

“Yes, Papa. Pinky.”

“Ich Liebe Dich, Mein Häschen.”

“Ich Liebe Dich, Papa.” 

As Sebastian ended the call with Anna, he sighed heavily, his heart still heavy with worry. He knew that his little princess was in good hands, but being away from her when she was unwell felt like a weight on his chest. Sebastian tried to distract himself by reviewing all the data from the previous practice session, but his thoughts kept drifting back to Anna and her feverish little face. He spent some time looking at pictures of her on his phone, cherishing his favorite ones. The thought of her sweet voice and the soft sound of her laughter only made him want to be there with her more. 

As the night progressed, Sebastian found himself tossing and turning in his bed, unable to find comfort. The guilt and worry about not being by Anna's side during her sickness still gnawed at him. He wondered if she was resting peacefully or if she was still suffering from the high fever and discomfort. He longed to be there with her, to hold her hand and soothe her fevered brow.

Eventually, Sebastian gave up on sleep entirely and decided to take a stroll to clear his mind. Maybe some fresh air and a change of scenery would help ease his restless thoughts. Sebastian left his hotel room and made his way down to the hotel lobby. The late-night air was cool against his skin, helping to clear his head a bit. Though his mind was still preoccupied with Anna and her illness, he tried to distract himself by taking a walk around the quiet neighborhood surrounding the hotel. He walked aimlessly for a while, the streets mostly deserted at this hour. The sound of his footsteps and the occasional distant car served as background noise, but his mind stubbornly returned to thoughts of his daughter, still sick and alone. As Sebastian continued to walk, he found himself passing by a small park. The playground was empty, the swings motionless in the night breeze. Memories of Anna playing on that same playground during one of the rare family vacations they had filled his mind, making his chest ache with a mixture of pain and joy.

He walked over to a bench and collapsed onto it, his head in his hands. The silence of the park was deafening, only broken by the occasional sound of an owl hooting in the distance.

Sebastian sat there for a while, just staring into the darkness of the park. He longed to be at home with Anna, taking care of her and soothing her with comforting words and gestures. But he was stuck at a distant hotel, miles away from his little princess. Sebastian leaned back against the bench and closed his eyes, trying to picture Anna's face in his mind. He could almost see her soft, pale skin and her messy hair, knowing that she always looked more vulnerable when she was sick. The thought made his heart ache with a mixture of worry and tenderness.

The stillness of the night was oppressive, and he longed for the sound of Anna's soft breathing next to him, a sign that she was peacefully asleep. At least then he would know for sure that she was alright. Tears stung the corners of his eyes, and he wiped them away with an impatient gesture. He hated feeling so useless, sitting here alone in the dark while Anna was suffering back home. 

The more time Sebastian spent sitting there on the bench, the more his thoughts and emotions spiralled further. He found himself replaying moments from Anna's childhood, the memories hitting him like a tidal wave. He thought of her adorable little face covered in chocolate, the way her tiny, sticky fingers had grabbed his thumb, her laughter ringing in his ears like a sweet melody.

The guilt and helplessness were overwhelming, and Sebastian found himself wondering if he was failing as a father. How could he be so distant from his daughter when she needed him most?

He sat there for what felt like an eternity, his thoughts running wild, until the first streaks of sunlight started to appear on the horizon.

As the days passed by, Sebastian found himself stepping on the highest place on the podium, his eyes longed for an image of his Mein Häschen, but she wasn’t there. As soon as he was done for the day finished all his post-race interviews and media duties. He left and came home to his daughter. 

Taglist: @pear-1206 @tammyfortis @gaypoetsblog @formula1-motogpfan @clearwolfbatrebel-blog @luvsforme @thatsadsmallchild @nikfigueiredo @rach3164

[inou-ie]

Pairing: Arlecchino x female reader

Warnings: NSFW, violence, strap-on, mind break, overstimulation, slapping, pet play.

MDNI

Attempting to confront the Knave had initially seemed like a courageous choice, but it quickly became apparent that it was one of the worst decisions you had ever made. At first, you believed you were gaining the upper hand, delivering blow after blow, but it soon became evident that she had merely been toying with you all along.

The Knave had taunted you deliberately, goading you into launching the first attack. She had taken your hits with a calculated intent, using them to study your movements and understand your attack patterns, all part of her strategy to turn your own actions against you.

"What's wrong? Done already..? Pathetic..." Arlecchino mocked you as the sound of her heels striking the floor drew nearer. You groaned in agony, attempting to stand up, but your beaten body refused to cooperate, leaving you helpless and vulnerable.

"Shut up... I'm just... resting. The floor is cold, it feels nice." you defiantly replied, though the visible wounds and bruises on your body told a different story. Despite the pain and exhaustion, you refused to accept defeat in this manner.

Arlecchino's laughter filled the air as she knelt down and seized you by the neck. "What a joke. Accept your defeat, and maybe, just maybe, I'll let you go like this." she taunted, her grip tightening.

You let out a groan, struggling to break free as you held onto her wrists, but Arlecchino only tightened her grip on your neck. "One last chance. I have no time to spare with pests like you. Give. Up." she hissed, leaning in closer to your face, her intense gaze locked onto yours.

Summoning a last burst of energy, you managed to force a smirk, taking a deep breath as you reached for her face and flung sand you collected earlier into her eyes. It was a dirty move, and you were well aware of it, but you couldn't afford to give up just like that. "Fuck, you dirty little-" The Knave winced in pain, releasing her grip on you and causing you to tumble to the ground. She cursed vehemently, and you could feel her anger as you did your best to stand. Retreat seemed like the wisest course of action for the moment... but your legs won't move.

Your attempts to stand proved futile as your legs refused to cooperate, leaving you struggling on the ground, You had taken quite a beating after all.. Time was of the essence, and you could see that Arlecchino was gradually recovering from the effects of your dirty trick. "If I catch you... you'd hope you were dead..." She muttered a threat under her breath. It was the last thing you heard from Arlecchino and before you could react, she swiftly launched an attack that rendered you unconscious, the darkness enveloping your senses as you fell into a deep and uneasy sleep...

Your eyes snapped open as you felt a tug on your neck, and you realized that Arlecchino was pulling the leash attached to the collar around your neck. Taking in your surroundings, you found yourself lying on a large bed, all naked and you seem to have been cleaned and taken care of. You tried to move around just to find your hands tied up so tightly behind you.

"I was getting bored just watching you sleep all day. I had given you enough time to rest, now it's time to entertain me... pet." Arlecchino rose from her seat, positioning herself in front of you, a smug smile playing on her lips. The expression on her face filled you with a sense of foreboding, and you couldn't shake the feeling that you were in serious trouble.

"You need to be punished. I was kind enough to let you recover but don't worry... I'll break you again... and again." Arlecchino seized your chin with a firm grip and leaned in close, her words a hushed whisper in your ear. "You're like a wild animal that needs taming… and that's exactly what I'm going to do." she declared with a predatory intensity that sent a chill down your spine.

"You--" before you could utter a word, Arlecchino's hand came down hard across your face, leaving red marks and a stinging pain on your cheek. "Dogs don't speak." she asserted, her tone unwavering as she enforced her control over you.

You glanced down, trying to make sense of the situation, but then mustered the courage to look up once more, attempting to speak. However, your attempt was quickly met with another harsh slap, and Arlecchino's stern command: "Don't even try." It was clear that she intended to exert full control over your actions and words.

Biting your lips to suppress any protest, you reluctantly nodded in submission. The surrender stung your pride, but it was evident that you had no choice but to comply with Arlecchino's demands, at least for the time being.

"Good. Do not speak until I say so." With an amused smile, Arlecchino pushed you forcefully onto the bed, her hand gripping the leash tightly as she pushed your head down, reinforcing her dominance and control over you. You hear her movements behind you but you didn't dare to look.

A sharp gasp escaped your lips, and you gritted your teeth, feeling the tears welling up in your eyes as you feel something big penetrating your tight entrance. "This is the biggest one I have, fitting for a untamed dog like you." Arlecchino lets out a chuckle, watching as you take her biggest strap without any foreplay. You can't even do anything with your hands behind your back, your head pushed down. You could only whimper loudly as Arlecchino keeps thrusting in full force.

"I-It hurts..." you mumbled, as you looked over your shoulder seeing Arlecchino's smug expression as she grabs your hips. "I thought I just told you not to talk? I guess I need to use more force when handling you." she pulled out right away, making you groan at the sudden emptiness.

The Knave then lifted you up easily, moving you to her lap as she leans back against the headboard. "I'm in a good mood right now so I'll give you a little bit of time to adjust." Arlecchino mumbles as she slowly guides you to take her cock inside you, her hands firmly holding your hips. You nod in response, biting your lips.. trying to suppress any sounds as you slowly sink down onto her lap, feeling your inner walls stretching to accommodate the thickness of her strap.

"Just kidding... you think I'll show you mercy?" You let out a loud scream as she pushed you down on her lap hard, your eyes rolling to the back of your head... Arlecchino then immediately proceeded to move you up and down on her lap like a toy. Your pained whimpers and screams filled the whole room while Arlecchino watches the bulge her cock is making in your belly while your body continues to bounce up and down with a satisfied smirk. It didn't take long before you let out a long loud moan, indicating that you've already reached your climax.. putting your head on her shoulder in desperate attempt to beg for comfort as you get overwhelmed by the intense pain and pleasure coursing through your trembling body.

You've came...so what? Arlecchino didn't give you a break as she continues to use you like a toy, fucking you with her strap relentlessly while you're not able to fight back at all with your hands tied... not even allowed to talk. The only thing you can do is cry and moan as she forces you take her cock. The more you struggled, the more the rope around your wrists tightened, causing a sharp stinging sensation. It was a stark reminder of your captivity and the control that Arlecchino wielded over you.

"Seeing that fucked out face of yours that once was so proud... so satisfying." she chuckled wickedly, slapping your face to keep your focus on her. "From now on, you belong to me. Understand?" The Knave asked in a mocking tone, making sure to hit your deepest spot while she waits for your answer.

"I unders--" Your words were cut off with a loud slap on your cheek and with strong thrusts that hits your cervix hard. Your mind went black for a moment as your tongue sticked out from all the abuse you're receiving.

"I won't repeat this again... Dogs. Don't. Talk." Arlecchino hissed, as she gives your ass a tight squeeze. "Again, do you understand?" Arlecchino posed her question with a commanding tone, expecting a specific response. Her gaze bore into you, daring you to repeat any past mistakes and emphasizing the consequences of disobedience.

"W-Woof..." The weight of your situation pressed down on you, and it felt as though your dignity had been completely stripped away. Tears streamed down your cheeks, a testament to the profound emotional turmoil and helplessness you were experiencing.

"Now that's a good dog. Behave just like that and you'll get a reward but for now... you have to accept your punishment." With a firm push, Arlecchino compelled you to lie down on the bed, and for a brief moment, you felt a fleeting sense of relief. However, that moment was short-lived, you went back to being a whimpering mess as she pounds away relentlessly. Making you cum over and over again until you lost all sense of time and your surroundings, caught in a harrowing and degrading experience that seemed to stretch on endlessly.

By the time Arlecchino was finished with you, you had been reduced to a sobbing and broken mess, the physical and emotional toll of the ordeal having left you in a state of despair.

"That was satisfying. Now, get some rest. Don't even think of trying something funny or you'll receive much worse than this." Arlecchino warned you as she held your now limp body into her arms tightly, giving you a little bit of comfort. Your body still trembling from the intense encounter and the pool of cum beneath you just made you feel worse, the wetness reminding you of how she humiliated and abused you the whole time.

Arlecchino lifted your chin, her intense gaze locked onto your eyes as she posed the question, "Have you learned your lesson?" With great effort, you nodded in response and, summoning the last of your strength, you managed to look at her, offering a reply that acknowledged your submissive role as her "dog."

"...woof."

[athzhowakar]

Maegor's Fat Queen

Summary:

What if King Maegor had accepted the proposal of Lord Alton Butterwell and married his ‘stout’ widowed sister who, though no great beauty, had given birth to seven children?

Lord Alton Butterwell's sister's name is not mentioned in 'Fire and Blood'. So, let me give her a name.

Her name will be Lady Jayne Butterwell.

WARNING: 18+ content

Maegor's POV:

King Maegor entered the marital chambers. Being the Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, he had enjoyed numerous women. However, none of them had been fat or ugly. When Lord Butterwell suggested his sister as a match for him, he had been scornful. But desperate times call for measures like this. He is in need of an heir. If bedding a woman like that would help him produce an heir, so be it.

The wedding had everything that was needed for it to be called a royal wedding, save for a bedding ceremony of course. But that bedding ceremony had been refused by the king himself. He remembered the look of his niece Rhaena's face when he had announced that there would be no bedding ceremony. She was mocking him and she made sure he knew.

“The tongues will silence once I have an heir,” he said to himself, as he walked closer to his newly wedded wife.

“Your Grace,” the woman called out.

Maegor remained silent and looked at her from head to toe. She was fat indeed. She was younger than him by half a decade, or perhaps more. And the seven childbirths had taken a toll on her youthful body. He wondered what she looked like before she was wedded and bedded. She was much shorter than him. Maegor was even taller than his father and built like a bull. It was quite natural that he had never met any woman of his size.

“My little fat wife,” Maegor said as he held her chin and made her look at him.

She smirked at him. Not understanding the reason behind that smirk, he asked, “Why are you smirking?”

“I am imagining how the night is going to be, Husband,” she replied.

He raised an eyebrow and said to her, “Did you assume that you are a great beauty and I am going to fuck you all night without any pause? I am going to fuck you and that is beyond doubt. However, I am not sure if I will be enthusiastic about anything other than spilling my seeds in your cunt.”

Jayne said with a smile, “Your Grace, I am fat and I have more space for knowledge in my belly as compared to the petite women you fuck. I know many things.”

“We shall see what you know,” Maegor said, chuckling. He had not expected his new wife to speak like that and show eagerness.

She started unbuttoning his tunic. He stood still and watched what she was doing. Once she was done, she threw off the tunic on the ground and immediately grabbed and pressed the little rudimentary breasts on his chest. She was kneading them like flour. Maegor's breath quickened as she continued to touch them and suck them.

Just as she was doing so, Jayne felt a sharp pain in her buttock. Maegor had spanked her. As his hand made contact with the lumps of flesh on his wife, they jiggled. The feeling made Jayne gasp and the sight made Maegor giggle.

Maegor tore off his wife's gown. Taking it off slowly felt too time consuming. Once Jayne was fully naked in front of him, Maegor saw the largest pair of breasts that he had seen in his entire life. Certainly, he could not stop himself from touching them. He squeezed them and fondled them. He sucked them so hard that they were red.

Jayne lied on the bed and her husband was sitting on the bed. Maegor's hands were roaming all around her body. It was at that moment when he realized that — The fatter a woman is, the more there is in her body to love and fondle.

Jayne could not even keep her mouth shut for a moment. Maegor's lips, teeth, mouth and hands were making her crazy and she could not stop making sounds of pleasure.

She squeezed her eyes as he put two fingers inside her. Her cunt was so slippery that the fingers slid inside easily. Sometime later, another finger joined and very soon, two more fingers joined the fun.

“YOUR GR...ACE....!!!” she exclaimed as her cunt shot out her juices.

“It seems that you are enjoying it,”Maegor said.

“I absolutely love this,” Jayne replied with a chuckle.

That chuckle soon changed into screams of pleasure when Maegor put his cock in Jayne's cunt. Maegor was a good lover when he was enthusiastic and Jayne was no less than willing. So naturally, moans felt shy and gave place to screams.

Maegor spilled his seed into his wife's womb. When he was done, he wrapped his arms around her. “It is time to grow fatter with my child, my little fat wife,” Maegor whispered to her.

“Anything for my king,” she replied.

..

..

..

To be continued...

[potionsprefect]

Intrigue

Pairings: Ethan Ramsey x Victoria Clarke

Word Count: 959

Summary: Working from home with two bored teenagers, what could possibly go wrong?

Rating: General Audiences

Category: Fluff

The rain battered against the windows, the thunder was loud and the lightening was bright. Luke and Lily Ramsey sat against the window from inside, watching as the dark clouds rolled by.

“So much for the summer holidays.” Luke said.

“It’s only meant to be for a day. But that doesn’t make me any less bored.” Lily huffed.

The start of the summer holidays were meant to be fun but the weather forecast said otherwise. Luke and Lily knew they would have plenty of time to enjoy their holidays and the weather was meant to be better tomorrow but bad weather was always guaranteed to put them in a bad mood.

“Why did Mom and Dad not go into the office?” Luke asked.

“They said they wanted to work on their research papers. Although you would think that the hospital would be crowded with people on a day like this. Bad weather always brings out accidents.”

“I guess when you’ve got that good a reputation you can afford to take some days away from work.”

“What do you think they’re working on? Do you think it’s interesting?” Lily said.

“I don’t think either of us will be able to understand it. Even if it is what we want to do later in life. Maybe for now we should stay clueless.” Luke laughed.

“I want to understand though. Do you remember that first aid course we went on? It was a lot of fun. Not that we’ve had much change to use the skills but imagine us doing what Mom and Dad do.”

Lily got up and headed out the room. Her parents had a dedicated room for all their research books, their achievements and medical books. They could’ve kept them in their home office but there was something calming about walking into the room and refreshing their memories.

“Where are you going?” Luke asked.

“For a walk.” Lily said sarcastically.

“Your sarcasm doesn’t work.” Luke said.

“Well you still asked the stupid question.” Lily rolled her eyes before grabbing the handle and opening the door.

The room was always off limits to the twins when they were kids. Not what she’s there was anything dangerous in there, but because there were so many books in there that it was certain they would get lost. And as kids, they could easily disappear under the sea of books.

That was before the shelves were put in and the chairs were put by the window. Now the room has more light in it and it was a haven. Luke and Lily saw their parents in here often but they hadn’t taken much interest in it until now. Now there was intrigue.

“It’s like a library in here.” Lily said.

“Not surprising given how much work they’ve done over the years.” Luke shrugged.

That seems to be understatement. There was book stacked to the brim, certificates on walls and trophies on the top shelf. Thin papers were also lining the shelves amongst other books of all sizes.

“How many of these do you think they’ve contributed to?” Lily said.

“Probably all of them. Whether it’s just a paragraph or they wrote it themselves.” Luke said picking one out. “There you go. E Ramsey and V Clarke. I bet there’s loads more.”

For the next half an hour, Luke and Lily spent time looking through their parents work. Maybe one day, it would be their name on these papers. Maybe they will have their own room dedicated to papers, books and achievements.

“What’s that at the top?” Lily asked pointing up to the top shelf.

“I don’t know. Looks like some sort of trophy.” Luke replied.

Lily grabbed a chair and stood on it, she couldn’t quite reach it but if she stretched enough she could get her fingertips to it. However, in doing sod she began to lose her balance.

“Watch out!” Lily said.

The books on the shelves tumbled one by one and fell onto the floor, making a loud thud. Several other research papers followed.

The door to the room then opened and Ethan and Victoria were stood there, eyes bewildered.

“What is going on?” Victoria asked.

“Nothing! I promise. We were just looking.” Lily said.

“We can tell.” Ethan said.

“We were bored and we wanted something to do.” Luke said.

“Do you know how long it took us to organise this? It wasn’t done so you two could mess it up!” Victoria said.

“Vic. There’s no harm done. They were only interested.” Ethan said as he picked up the books.

“You’re right sorry.” Victoria said as she helped put the books away.

“We just wanted to see why this room was so important.” Lily said.

“And now we know why! I didn’t realise you had done so much.” Luke said.

“Neither did we until we unboxed it all and put it in this room.” Ethan chuckled.

“You know your Dad. He’s not one for gushing praise.” Victoria laughs.

“Would you like us to talk through some of these?” Ethan suggests.

“Yeah! Not that we’ll understand it but I’m sure to you it’s interesting.” Lily says.

For the next hour, the Ramsey family look through the books, papers and certificates, each of them told a story. It was interesting for Luke and Lily to understand what their parents had done. It sounded like there was definitely more to come.

Maybe Luke and Lily will have their own room of achievements later in life. Maybe they too will tell their children about all the things they have done in their careers.

For now, they had to work hard to get there. For now they could sit and say Ethan and Victoria Ramsey were their parents.

And they were proud of them.

Note to self: don’t mess with a perfectly organised book shelf

Tag list: @ohchoices @swiftiexstarwarssimp @queencarb @genevievemd @choicesaddict5 @schnitzelbutterfingers @gryffindordaughterofathena @sophxwithers @romewritingshop @coffeeheartaddict2 @mm2305 @nikki-2406 @maurine07 @nishas-paradise @replayfootsteps @mainstreetreader @lsvdw-blog @kiara-36 @quixoticdreamer16 @headoverheelsforramsey @shanzay44 @itsjustamesshonestly @foreverjosie @mysticalgalaxysstuff @custaroonie @ireneadlerisseggsy @takemyopenheart @kachrisberry @jamespotterthefirst @a-crepusculo @natureblooms24 @jerzwriter @wanderingamongthewildflowers @rosebudde @lucy-268 @liaromancewriter @bex-la-get @writer-ish @toadfrog26 @tessa-liam @peonierose @cariantha @kyra75 @snoopdogcone @choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

[tinsnip]

Ok, so bmouse says WIPs should be finished in honour of Garashir on Lower Decks, and I agree.

I'm writing again! It's nice but also work! If you like my Garashir, you might like what's below the read-more. Spoilers for "The Smallest Things" and this is a rough draft.

Dear Ezri,

I hardly know where to start.

I suppose I could start a week ago, when I moved into Garak’s home in Kardasi’or, but that seems to gloss over a few details.

Perhaps instead I’ll go back to two weeks ago when I arrived here on Cardassia and immediately got arrested for harassment of a senior official & resisting arrest. Really, it was immediately. About two hours elapsed from Cardassian soil to Cardassian jail. This is where you can pretend to be surprised, by the way. I was surprised: two hours is a new record for me.

Garak’s just passed by and has asked that I put in a hello, and has also charmingly added that given that it was me, he would have expected the arrest in closer to one hour. Ho ho. He hasn’t changed.

Actually, he has changed. But I don’t know what to say about that yet.

I’ve only been here in person for two weeks, and we’ve seen each other surprisingly little over that period. It turns out that being a person of seemingly some importance in the local government eats up a great deal of his time. He doesn’t sleep much.

But he does make time to cook dinner for us - actually cook! (He won’t let me, as I’m awful at it, which I agree with wholeheartedly.) We have a very small replicator, honestly quite the step down from even the worst standard repli on DS9 - but it can spit out a reasonable variety of ingredients I don’t recognize, and even a sort of facsimile of a tomato, which Garak managed to turn into something surprisingly close to a nice spicy arrabiatta. That was a treat (once I managed to forget that the pasta was some kind of fungus). And I’m getting used to a mostly-strict standard Cardassian breakfast and lunch regimen, as Garak’s not around when I wake up (or for most of the day), and the replicator’s pre-made selection is minimal. And bland. Fish soup is prevalent. Lots of little dry cakes. Not all awful, though - have you ever heard of ikri buns? 

I keep putting this letter down and picking it up again. It’s so hard to put how I’m feeling into words.

I’m happy. I’m so happy. I can’t express it. I’m warm through with it. But I know myself, I know that’s new love. (It’s love! He loves me, Ezri! And I love him, God help me. I’m so in love.) And I know new love fades, and I know things get in the way of love, and I know I don’t see him much, and here I am on a planet that doesn’t like me much - a criminal record after two hours, remember - and also I stand out, and it’s not good for him to have a partner that stands out for a variety of reasons, especially a sort of quasi-Starfleet Human physician - not so much not good for him as not good for his position, which is him. You know it. You know him, and how he feels about Cardassia. You know what it means for him to choose me, despite what it could do to his possible influence here.

You knew better than I did.

And yet here I am in his house, and I’m very happy, and I’m also afraid.

I thought about crossing out that last bit, or at least rewording it, but it’s true. And anyway, I don’t need to watch my words with you, do I? I think you’re the only person I know who could understand what I’m getting at. Miles barely knows about any of this - he’ll be flattened when I next write to him and casually drop my new location (and the letter back will burn off my eyebrows). And Rijal doesn’t like Garak, and is also quite upset with me for leaving—

I’m on indefinite leave, by the way. I’ve taken leave from Starfleet Medical (hence the ‘quasi’ above). I can apply for re-entry at any time within the next two years, the form letter assures me, as I’ve not been discharged or formally resigned my commission. My former duty spot is, of course, not guaranteed, but they promise they’ll make every effort to accommodate my preferences. Once two years are up, it gets a bit more complicated. Manageable, but complicated.

So here I am, not responsible to anyone and far from what was home, without much of anyone to talk to except Garak. And I find I can’t really talk to him about this.

Ezri, I am terrified.

Everything has changed for me. I still can’t believe how this started out with something so small, with a letter and with you leaving (and I still miss you, by the way, and hope you’re well and happy, forgive my parentheses as I’m a bit all over the place). And then things got extremely complicated. A year ago I could never have predicted how things would change, how my life would suddenly seem to shrink to something so small, and then be so weirdly… expanded.

I think I have some idea how you felt when you were joined with Dax. If that’s not too presumptuous, which it probably is, but… I could never have imagined myself doing this, a year ago. I thought I could see my life rolling out comfortably in front of me.

And now this.

I’ve leapt before I looked, as you wisely knew I would. And I told myself I’d sort things out when I landed. But instead I seem to still be falling, with no idea where or when I’m going to land. And you told me so.

But, and please forgive my tortured metaphor, he’s here with me, and we’re falling together, and I know I’m being sappily romantic and this probably won’t end well, and I know I’m scared and he’s scared too even though he’d never admit it, and I also know that I am damned well going to try.

Cardassia can take all the shots it wants at me. I’m ready. Bravery is being afraid and doing it anyway, right? (Garak is now reading over my shoulder, and he says that no, that is not bravery, that is stupidity. He’s also put his arms around me, so I suppose my stupidity is either expected or forgiven.) I hope I can find a way to practice medicine here, but if that’s not what’s needed of me right now, then all right, I’ll adapt. Right now Garak says our best bet for this to all work out, politically and for the two of us, is for me look harmless and ornamental and not at all dangerous (I will never forgive you for the way you’re grinning). So I’m staying at home, and I’m reading, and I’m learning. When I go out I’m on his arm. I’ve done two public appearances at local reading-groups, and I’ve been a guest on a talk show, which has already invited me back. I’ve been told my looks are exotic and my smile is charming and I’m honestly one of the nicest Humans they’ve ever met, if one doesn’t mind the smell and the way we shed.

So I suppose in addition to giddily happy and stomach-churningly frightened, I’m also getting irritated.

This isn’t going to be easy, Ezri. Thank you for warning me. Thank you for telling me to be careful. And thank you for supporting me when you realized I was going to do whatever I wanted, no matter the consequences.

Perhaps in a year, when things settle down a bit, you could come visit? I could take you to see the Alik Dunes, not far from Kardasi’or. It’s a walkable distance from the furthest train stop, actually. They’re the site of the first successful regreening project in this area after the Fire. There’s a little tea shop, and an area where one can walk barefoot. The plants feel very good on one’s soles. Garak and I go there sometimes, and almost no one takes pictures. I think you’d like it.

I miss you. I hope you’re well. I hope you’re having grand adventures. I hope you can lend me a little courage as I start out on this one.

Best wishes, and all my love,

Julian Bashir

[onboardsorasora]

https://www.tumblr.com/overtake/746762194848563200/your-post-about-max-liking-daniels-ig-just-opened could u write something based on this?

I have had this ask for so long, sorry bestie- my brain was doing a thing at the time lol. lol thank you @secretdonderwolk for the unintentional prompt

His phone vibrated in his pocket, three times for three messages. He had an idea about who this was, he hoped it was his sister complaining about something. Or even Seb– even though he sat across from him at lunch. Seb could be annoying like that, but that was also because Daniel had been annoying like that first. 

Putting his phone on the table, he saw the screen light up with notification banners from Instagram. There was the broad one about how many thousand likes his post workout selfie had gotten. But then there was the secondary banners about replies and DMs. A familiar user name peaked up at him; 3_MaxV_3. 

Daniel rolled his eyes then flipped his phone on its screen. That kid, because he was a kid, with his scrawny body posing with a sideways cap in one picture, in a couch with dogs in another. But mostly in a race suit at a karting track. That kid had been messaging him for weeks now. He did the same thing repeatedly; Daniel posted a thirst trap photo (he looks damn good and it shows he’s working out) and then Max would be in the replies sending one thing the 💯emoji– three times of course. 

Daniel never responded to him after the first time, which was an accident, but the kid seemed to have taken that interaction as an open door to send Daniel reels of memes he already saw when he scrolled mindlessly through tiktok. He was surprised that a seventeen year old wasn’t on tiktok and was instead using instagram, but that also didn’t matter to Daniel. One less platform for this kid to find him on.

“Your new boyfriend again?” Seb teased with a snort.

“First of all, ew. He’s like still in diapers, mate.”

“I dunno why you let him annoy you so much. He’s harmless, still like in junior formula or whatever.”

“Don’t they call it like formula 3 now or something?”

“Who the fuck knows anymore. They change the names of this shit every year. Come I’m not allowing you make me be late for engineering.” Seb stood from his seat while Daniel cackled.

“I was one time!”

“One time is more than enough I think.”

— - —

Daniel pressed post on the thumbs up selfie. He’d gotten a podium today and wanted to commemorate after a long day. The first notification came quickly after. 💯💯💯 Daniel had become used to the routine by now, he already assumed that the kid had his post notifications on. It was weird but Daniel didn’t think too closely of it.

He did notice a difference this time. His username was different; maxverstappen_33. Daniel clicked into his profile, not something he did but there was a change in the routine and he was curious about why.

Lots of karting pictures met his eyes, pictures on podiums and in the garage. There were a lot more sponsor logos than before and Daniel couldn’t say he wasn’t impressed. He himself knew how difficult it was to even get sponsors to talk to you in karting, much less to invest. 

While he was scrolling through the rest of the profile, careful not to double tap anything of course, another notification banner from maxverstappen_33 popped up. “You are so beautiful Daniel.”

And well… that was new. Normally he’d get a lion or capybara video by now. MaxV had taken to sending him videos of quokkas recently too. Daniel had never given him the impression that these videos were appreciated or cared for– though he had watched a couple of them– so he didn’t understand this step up to shooting his shot.

Daniel closed out of the profile and then the app. He needed to get some sleep.

— - —

They’d told him to record a video for some kid getting his super license soon. That was new, but maybe Seb had been the one welcome in the new drivers in the program. It was quick with well wishes for some kid named Max. 

Daniel had wondered initially if it was MaxV, or rather Max Verstappen. But Vicky had told him nothing more and MaxV was supposed to be going to formula 2 now anyways. No way Red Bull would be making such a stir over a kid.

When he got out of the sim he had a bitchload of notifications. Red Bull had tagged him in something and people were congratulating him. Ace. He went to his DMs to see a new message from Maxverstappen_33;

‘Thank you for the video. It was lovely Daniel.’

Well, shit.

— - —

It happened slower than he thought it would have. But quickly in the grand scheme of things. Daniel stepped out of his motorhome, zipping up his race suit and thanking the handler to his left for his hat. It was shoot day today with the whole team, including the boys from Torro Rosso.

Daniil slotted in beside him and Daniel dapped him up. This would be their second year as teammates and Daniel was excited for the year to come. 2016 felt like the year maybe, to take the championship fight to Mercedes. The car was quick in the sim and Adrian said the wind tunnel tests have been phenomenal. Daniel was ready.

What he wasn’t ready for, was the guy who stepped right in front of him. Blonde hair, electric blue eyes. Familiar as fuck face pulled into a smile. 

“Daniel! It is great to finally meet you after all this time.”

Daniel hadn’t ever considered meeting MaxV in person, the kid that’s been sending him 💯 emoji what felt like weekly for the last maybe two years. If you scrolled through their DM it was very one sided. But here he was, very caught out at the very real and very eager kid waiting for his reply. This would probably be the first time he ever did reply.

“Enchante, Max.” Daniel grinned and glanced over a Daniil when Max’s face flushed with a blush.

He didn’t think about it the rest of the day. Not when Max kept telling jokes and whipping his head around to see his reaction. Not when Max would hold Carlos’ hand and pulling him into close hugs only to turn and look to Daniel’s reaction.

Daniil was having a field day and he knew Seb was going to learn about this somehow.

He didn’t think about it. Because Max was a kid or whatever and it was weird.

Max sought him out fairly regularly after that, bolstered by being in the same company and paddock. Invigorated at the fact that Daniel responded to him every time.

— - —

Daniel heard the news but he hadn’t quite believed it. He knew RedBull did driver swaps, apparently ‘all the time’ but he didn’t think he ever saw it happen mid season like this. 

He walked into the garage to see the host of cameras and mics. The identical RB12 no longer sported Daniil’s number but now had a large 33 plastered over it. The garage was also sporting the new 3|33 decals. Daniel knew that marketing was having a field day.

He stepped off to the meeting rooms to wait for the crowd to clear, fiddling on his phone. He’d never admit it, not even under the pain of a slow as fuck pitstop, that he was interested to see what the hubbub was about. What could possibly be so good about Max that they would do such a public shaming of Daniil.

He didn’t know how much time passed, but he tweeted a bit and posted a new picture to instagram during the time. The notification banner popped up; maxverstappen_33☑️ 💯💯💯

Daniel grinned to himself, still surprised that Max had kept this up. Still apparently had his post notifications on. The door opened. 

“Daniel that picture was lovely.” Max sat in the seat across from him in the conference room. His RedBull polo was a little askew, and he was smiling widely.

Well, shit.

[lilacxquartz]

Don't Make Me Feel Alive I Chapter 5

kenjaku x f!reader

chapter summary: after a night alone, he lets you out again with a new agenda in mind. Something you didn’t like at all.

warnings; unaware reader/noncon

< Previous Chapter • Next Chapter >

5. Contract

Upon returning to you the next day after having spent a good chunk of it thinking about the best course of action, he returned to you and activated the pendant at his own will, restoring your ability to properly utilise its function and in turn, feeling closer like yourself once again.

The sensation surely felt odd though—as if you were a machine, slowly rebooting after being turned off.

You remembered his description from before, finding it oddly fitting.

Kenjaku otherwise ultimately ended up deciding on committing to the binding vow overnight, after all, despite his consideration for alternative options, because technically speaking, he had absolutely zero use for someone who refused to help him and if it wouldn’t have been a waste of time and resources, he could have just disposed of you overnight, regardless of your potential.

So rather than doing that, he instead decided to resolve his plans a different way instead and have the death painting fight in your place instead. He could simply just entrust Mahito’s alliance to oversee the plan otherwise and keep you behind as a trump card if need be.

After all, a lightning user that he had under his control could prove powerful and unpredictable to his opponents, especially given your potential capabilities. For one, it could help escape tense situations or to sacrifice you in case he faced something or someone that collided with his plans.

Or… should he scrap the sacrifice idea? His mind churned just a little at the thought, even if it was a joke in his mind.

The point still stood though, he needed to get you on board for something else. Something more serious, something potentially life changing—but only while you were still in such a malleable state.

You were vulnerable enough for anything.

“Hey,” he spoke softly, drawing closer as his fingers tweezed your chin, forcing you to meet his stare, “don’t look at me like that.”

You were giving him a certain type of look today and he didn’t like it, even if he could understand why you were being so guarded.

You relented his touch, forcing your sights downwards, “how else should I look at you?”

“Look, I went about it wrong, I do admit,” he replied, lifting your chin back up, “however, what if I offer something that could benefit both of us?”

“Then I wouldn’t buy it,” you replied, failing to move away, “not if it’s coming from you.”

“Ah, don’t be like that,” he smiled once more as he replied to you in a teasing tone, finding it amusing to keep winding you up, “I’m not that bad, you know.”

(But he knew that he absolutely was.)

There was a pause that followed as he awaited your response, seeming slightly disappointed when you never fulfilled his curiosity and kept quiet instead. Moving on without skipping a beat, he decided to unveil his grand offer.

“Anyway, I’d like to propose a binding vow. Nothing too serious.”

You blinked as you were taken aback. A binding vow was serious no matter how you looked at it.

“You’re kidding?” you asked.

“I am not,” he replied in a very sure way.

“There is nothing casual about a binding vow,” you sighed, feeling the corners of your lips sink into a frown. You already had an idea of what this strange guy was, so you had a feeling that by the end of this conversation, you’d be entangled in something you shouldn’t be because he wouldn’t let you back out of it.

“A binding vow doesn’t have to be dramatic,” he teased, “at least hear me out.”

You sighed in a resigned manner, feeling weary already, giving him a look that indicated that you were at the very least listening.

He smiled again, continuing, “Dedicate your efforts into helping me carry out my plans successfully and I’ll be more honest with you, only keeping the vow active until completion then I’ll… let you go,” he lied, his words sounding too good to be true but spoken smoothly enough for you to believe him, “sound good?”

“And if I don’t?” you asked, still not quite wanting to do something so serious.

“Then you can otherwise die, I don’t keep things around that are useless… or boring,” he replied as he laughed gently to himself, leaving you once again unsettled and tired from his demeanour.

You sighed once more, knowing that he knew just how much you wanted to live.

Feeling cornered by his proposal—the offer frustrated you.

“Fine,” you gritted reluctantly, at least considering it, “now what exactly am I agreeing to?”

“I’d like to keep you around under my control—let’s call it a puppet contract,” he explained as you hesitantly listened, “you’ll stay under the control of my strings and I’ll occasionally drop the cross for you to use your technique.”

“Wait, I won’t be able to use my own technique?” you asked, not liking the sound of the catch.

“It’s your biggest drain of energy,” he replied, having a genuine answer that wasn’t malicious for a change, “if I can control how you use your energy, then you won’t run into problems again.”

“And why would I agree to that?” you continued to prod.

“Because, I can teach you other ways of defending yourself, silly,” Kenjaku revealed, “you shouldn’t be fully relying on your technique anyway.”

You furrowed your brows in confusion as you stared at him. “But I'm a sorcerer?”

“Modern sorcerers are more about flashy combat styles and showing off their techniques,” he began to explain as his eyes widened for dramatic effect while he spoke, “but these things aren’t completely reliable, so I’ll teach you the fundamentals of close range combat.”

“Even in my state?” you warily asked.

His eyes flickered up and down before nodding, his lips parting with an already loaded answer, “Sorcerers who rely too much on their techniques are an easy target, you need to learn to at least block a close range attack.”

You sighed wearily again, already feeling exhausted the longer that this conversation unfolded. A stark contrast to his energetic self in comparison, seemingly getting a kick out of this whole discussion.

Kenjaku then closed the gap to your face with his own, enjoying the idea of bullying you into eventual submission, his voice suddenly low, “Besides, don’t you want to learn how to keep me off your back? If you don’t learn how to at least push me away, then I’ll just keep on teasing you forever.”

You pulled away from whatever that was and attempted to push him back. He let you, for now.

“Wouldn’t this slow you down?” you asked, attempting to further the distance between the two of you.

“You would only be doing so if you continue to avoid the subject,” he mocked slightly as he bridged the gap between the two of you, his fingers brushing around your face, “I wouldn’t want you to get knocked around by someone with more combat intelligence… unless it’s by me.”

You didn’t quite hear that last part that he mumbled, but you weren’t looking forward to anything he proposed to you regardless.

“So in order to keep you safe and more reliable for both yourself and me, I’d like to keep your technique on a leash and teach you something far more valuable instead,” he said as he drummed his fingers along your cheekbones, the action seeming slightly taunting yet endearing.

Once again, you felt conflict stir within you as you took the idea further into consideration, still not enjoying the idea of your technique remaining dormant, locked away in your body unless he had a say in it. The only appealing part was leading a somewhat normal existence, but in order to do so without your technique properly present, took a huge chunk of your identity away.

However, if it was all just temporary—then maybe it wasn’t actually so bad. You wanted to live normally beyond anything else, refusing to go back to a miserable existence of pure sickness and fatigue.

“Fine, I’ll do it,” you muttered.

“Then you’ve made the correct choice,” Kenjaku smiled as he continued to drift closer, fully aware that he wasn’t going to release you from the vow so easily because technically, his plans had no real end.

In fact, you would be stuck with him forever.

If only you truly knew what you just signed up for, though. He laughed to himself at the notion while you continued to stare at him in a confused manner.

However, in some ways, he couldn’t quite shake the thought that you were partially correct and were technically slowing down his plans due to his strange attachment towards you—ultimately otherwise concluding that as long as you continued to aid him in his success, that there was otherwise nothing truly slowing him down, after all.

So maybe this was all fine. It didn’t hurt to have a companion to bother as he pleased, knowing that you’d likely just listen against your will to whatever he subjected you to.

Besides, you were also easy on the eyes, so that much was a bonus.

After such an agreement, the days continued to pass you both by and your old dynamic was quickly soon reestablished, spending the days training with him just like before except now you also had the displeasure of learning how to fight with someone like him. Just as he wanted you to do so also, you found that you became embarrassingly reliant on him because he controlled just about every aspect about you.

Something that he secretly enjoyed a great deal.

So much that it wasn’t something that he could neither deny nor ignore anymore.

And so as the day finally concluded, you found yourself unintentionally falling asleep against his shoulder, leaning against his body without even realising that you were doing so. You were worn out from the training session and it was late, so you couldn’t help but snooze off. Kenjaku in response reluctantly accepted this, finding that he didn’t mind it a great deal.

In fact, it had been such a long time since he had experienced such innocent closeness that he almost missed it, feeling nostalgic for the sensation, even if it did feel different this time.

Curiosity took him over as he moved you slowly down onto his lap to admire the situation further, feeling quite odd about the whole thing. Initially, he chose to explore carefully, observing how the battery held up during sleep but then he started to feel more and more curious about certain things.

He watched you as you remained fast asleep and completely unaware of both what and who he truly was, not knowing that it was otherwise a miracle on his end that something in particular hadn’t happened sooner.

What was this feeling again?

Something a bit like lust, but dilated.

Even now, he chose to keep it contained, despite the mood suddenly feeling strangely different. He wasn’t one to feel regret or remorse for anything that he did in life, choosing to believe that a life well lived and experienced was from personal gain and yet, there was a faint hint of hesitation to continue.

Perhaps it was because you were his project, therefore an extension of his ideals. To keep you so readily compliant and willing to go through what he admittedly knew was a chaotic direction into the future felt like something he had to preserve in its current state.

His eyes once again drifted down and locked onto your sleeping form, the look that occupied his face utterly vacant as his eyes bored into you. Something however kindled in his coal black eyes as he moved his fingertips to trace against your face, seeming to enjoy having your life completely vulnerable and at the mercy of his own hands.

There it was. That was the problem. He spent a good amount of time investing his effort into you and he had the complete power to simply undo it all, just because he could. Regardless of how much your own life was left to yourself, he was the one who now ruled it and that filled him with a thrill beyond his comprehension.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if he indulged after all. Your life was his now and he had the power to play with you as he liked.

You were lucky that he actually liked you, though. It could have been so much worse.

He continued to explore slowly, brushing his hands against your shoulders through to your back and around your waist, finding that he liked how it sat in his hands. His fingers wrapped around your side and squeezed firmly around it, as if trying to memorise every detail. Curiously, he felt around your ass next, squeezing his fingers around it and enjoying the feel of it.

His other hand proceeded to drift into his robe, gently parting the fabric and taking hold of his now excited length. He wouldn’t do anything just yet to you, instead choosing to simply test the waters of what he wanted.

Slowly, he stroked himself as he watched you continue to sleep against his lap, his other hand still brushing around your body as he continued to grow harder, realising that this particular feeling wasn’t going away.

He felt his cock grow completely fat in his hand and he quickly got increasingly comfortable as he adapted to a smooth motion in getting himself off. All the while he stared down at your unaware and fast asleep face as you did so, finding the sight of you being completely unaware to be strangely exciting.

He continued to pleasure himself as his breathing grew shaky and his legs tightened, continuing to stare you down, somewhat impressed that you didn’t awaken from the disturbance. The excitement felt almost painful as all remaining reason rushed along with his blood to his cock, making the session almost feel sore.

His eyes were relentless as they stared down at your sleeping form as his hand moved up and down his shaft, his breath shuddered as he got closer to pushing his limit.

His mind ran rampant with curiosity and wonder, imagining exactly how your slick warmth felt and just what sorts of noises you could make for him; his jaw clenching as he neared his end, shooting thick white ropes against his robes—seething a stifled groan to keep you perfectly unaware.

He’d have to wash those now, he sighed.

He dedicated his sights on you, the curiosity continuing to burn him away, distracting him from any other thought that he might have had. There was nothing more that he wanted other than to feel his skin mesh with yours, to push inside of you and to feel how you wrapped around him.

Maybe tomorrow he’d indulge in just that.

Knowing that such a feeling wouldn’t simply go away.

He would sleep on it for now though, momentarily leaving you alone on the bed to go and clean himself up. However, upon returning, he once again decided to share the bed with you and the feeling returned.

He stared at you as he laid near your side.

Knowing that nothing at all could possibly help or save you now. He was simply in too deep with his own wants and needs to back out now.

If only you knew what awaited you the next day, though.

[allisonbaelfire]

Amethyst. - PART 4

Over the last few days, I got to know the students of Class 1-A better. They all introduced themselves, and it was a lot to take in, given my lack of experience with people my age. Despite that, they seemed kind and genuinely caring towards each other—everyone except Shoto.

And that’s exactly why I was considering throwing the UA Sports Festival. After my first day, Endeavor had made it clear that he expected either Shoto or me to come out on top. The look of disgust on Shoto’s face when Dad said that was hard to bear. Maybe if I let myself lose, Shoto would finally stop seeing me as just another extension of our father’s will.

The festival was only two weeks away, and I couldn’t decide if I should give it my all or lose intentionally. Either way, training had already started.

“Y/N, watch out!” Mina’s voice rang out, cutting through my thoughts.

“Huh?” I barely had time to register her warning before the speeding debris, kicked up from Katsuki’s explosion, came hurtling toward me. I was so lost in my own head that I hadn’t even noticed his attack.

Before I could react, Eijiro rushed in, his hardened body blocking the debris and keeping me safe.

“Thanks, Eijiro,” I muttered, my tone calm, though embarrassment flickered in my eyes.

As I glanced at the wreckage and then at Katsuki, I couldn’t help but feel frustrated. How could I be so distracted? This wasn’t like me.

Shoto walked past me with his usual cold detachment. “Pro-hero,” he said under his breath, his tone mocking.

Normally, I wouldn’t have let it get to me, but something about today made his comment sting. I called on my Ice Flames, letting them spill across the training ground, coating it in frost. Shoto slipped, caught off guard, and I quickly froze his leg in place.

“Yeah, pro-hero,” I said as I walked past him, releasing him from my ice without looking back.

_________

I strode back to the locker rooms, adrenaline still coursing through me. The sounds of training faded, leaving only the echo of my footsteps. I could feel the weight of my classmates’ eyes on me—some curious, others admiring. It didn’t matter.

Inside the locker room, I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. Shoto had a way of getting under my skin.

Just as I finished changing, the door creaked open, and Mina burst in, her bright energy filling the room.

“Y/N! That was amazing! I didn’t know you could do that with your Quirk!” she said, her wide grin never faltering.

“Thanks, Mina,” I replied, trying to keep my tone neutral. “Just had to remind Shoto who he’s dealing with.”

Mina giggled, leaning against the locker next to mine. “Well, you definitely did! But hey, are you okay? Shoto can be… a bit much.”

I shrugged. “He knows how to push my buttons. But it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

She gave me a long look, her expression softening. “You know, you don’t have to handle everything by yourself. We might not know each other well yet, but we’re a team. If you ever need to talk, or just let off some steam, I’m here.”

I was a little taken aback by her sincerity. Mina was always so bubbly and carefree, but her words carried weight.

“Thanks, Mina. I’ll keep that in mind.”

Her face lit up again. “Great! You should hang out with us more! We’re all going to the arcade later—Denki’s idea. It’ll be fun!”

I hesitated. “I’d love to, but I have to train for the Festival. Shoto and I can’t train at home when the other is around, so I have to find time here after school.”

Her face fell just a little, but she nodded. “I get it. The Festival is a big deal. Just don’t overwork yourself, okay?”

“I won’t,” I promised. “Thanks for understanding.”

_________

Training alone in the school’s grounds had become my routine. Director Nezu had given me permission to use the area after hours, and each evening, I pushed myself to refine my Quirk. But no matter how hard I tried, something wasn’t right. My concentration was slipping. Every movement felt just a little off, like there was a haze over my mind.

I wondered if it was because I wasn’t the same anymore—just a normal student, not a pro-hero. Or maybe something else was distracting me.

Katsuki had noticed. He always paid attention to the small things, even when he pretended not to. After a few days of declining Mina’s and the others’ invitations, he had finally had enough.

“Oi, Frostburn!” he barked, cornering me after school one day. “You think dodging all your friends is gonna make you better? Your concentration is trash, and your technique is even worse.”

I narrowed my eyes, not in the mood for his bluntness. “I don’t need your advice, Bakugo.”

“Tch.” He crossed his arms, his gaze narrowing. “Yeah, you do. You keep training like this, and you’ll be lucky to make it past the first round. If you want to get better, train with someone who knows what the hell they’re doing.”

I blinked, surprised. Was he offering to help?

“I don’t need your help,” I started, but Katsuki interrupted.

“You’re wasting your time. Either get serious or lose on purpose. Doesn’t matter to me.” He turned to walk away.

I thought about it for a second, then sighed. “Fine. I’ll train with you. But don’t expect me to go easy.”

He smirked. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Our training started the next day. Katsuki didn’t hold back, and I didn’t expect him to. His attacks came fast and relentless, forcing me to react on instinct. My Ice Flames clashed with his explosions, sending shockwaves across the training ground.

“Focus!” Katsuki barked as I narrowly dodged another blast. “Your reaction time is shit. You’ll get destroyed if you keep that up.”

I gritted my teeth and pushed harder, summoning ice shields to block his attacks while searching for an opening. Despite his aggressive style, Katsuki was right. I was improving.

The sessions were brutal, but they forced me to reach deeper, to control my Quirk more efficiently. And despite his rough exterior, Katsuki had a sharp eye for details. He noticed every flaw, every hesitation, and called them out without mercy.

As the sun dipped below the horizon and the night began to settle in, Katsuki and I were wrapping up another exhausting training session. The training grounds were nearly empty, save for a few dim lights casting long shadows across the field.

I wiped the sweat from my brow, my muscles aching from the intensity of our sparring. Katsuki, as usual, seemed unfazed, though I could tell from the slight rise and fall of his shoulders that even he was feeling the effects of the long day.

We gathered our things in silence, and as we headed toward the exit, Katsuki spoke up, his voice gruff as ever.

“I’ll walk you home.”

I raised an eyebrow, surprised by the sudden offer. “You know I’m a former pro-hero, right?” My voice held a touch of sarcasm, though I wasn’t really mad. It was just… unexpected.

Katsuki scoffed, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Right. Former pro-hero. And when shitty purple hair figured out your identity that fast, it’s just a matter of time before the villains do.”

I opened my mouth to protest but stopped. He wasn’t wrong. Hitoshi Shinso had pieced together my past as Amethyst within seconds of meeting me. And if someone like him could do it, it wouldn’t take long for villains to catch on.

Still, I couldn’t resist pushing back. “I can handle myself, Bakugo. I’m not some helpless civilian.”

Katsuki shot me a look, his crimson eyes narrowing. “Tch. Don’t get all high and mighty just ’cause you used to be a hero. It’s dark, and you don’t live far from me, so stop being a pain and let’s go.”

I was taken aback for a moment, not by the words themselves—because this was typical Katsuki—but by the fact that he cared enough to make sure I got home safe. He’d never admit it, but under all that bluster, there was something almost… protective about him.

“Fine,” I muttered, pretending to be annoyed as I slung my bag over my shoulder. “Lead the way.”

Katsuki grunted in approval, and we started walking, the sound of our footsteps filling the quiet night air. The silence between us wasn’t uncomfortable, but it was thick with unspoken words.

As we walked, I couldn’t help but glance at him from the corner of my eye. His expression was as stern as ever, but there was something softer beneath the surface, something I was only starting to notice.

“Bakugo,” I said after a few moments, breaking the silence, “thanks… for offering to walk me home. I mean, I don’t need it, but… thanks.”

He glanced at me, his scowl deepening slightly. “Tch, don’t make it weird. I’m not doing this ’cause I want to. It’s just smart. The last thing I need is some villain ambushing you and dragging me into their mess.”

I rolled my eyes, but a small smile tugged at my lips. “Sure, Bakugo. Whatever you say.”

As we reached my street, the soft glow of streetlights illuminated the path ahead. Katsuki didn’t say much, and neither did I. But something had shifted in the way we walked side by side, like we’d reached an unspoken understanding.

When we arrived at my house, Katsuki paused, his eyes flicking toward the lit windows before turning back to me. He noticed how I looked at the House.

“What’s the deal with Icy-Hot and you?”

I hesitated, not expecting the question. “It’s… complicated. We used to be close, but things changed after our older brother, Toya, died. Shoto thinks I’m just following our father’s orders, but it’s not like that.” I paused for a moment and looked around.

Every evening, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was being watched, a sensation that prickled at my senses from every direction. It felt like eyes were constantly on us, lurking in the shadows, but I dismissed it as a remnant of my time spent on night patrols. The heightened awareness from those days made me hyper-vigilant, and I chalked it up to old habits dying hard. Despite this, having Katsuki’s fiery presence beside me was oddly reassuring

“Tomorrow, same time,” he said, his tone leaving no room for argument.

I nodded. “Got it.”

Katsuki noticed how uneasy I was and didn’t press further. Why would he even care? Katsuki thought to himself. He was only training with me to improve his skills, not to get to know me or be friends.

He grunted in response and turned to leave, shoving his hands into his pockets as he walked down the quiet street.

__________

The next day, our training was just as intense, if not more. Katsuki had set up an obstacle course, designed to push my limits. I had to move faster, react quicker, and use my Ice Flames in more creative ways than I ever had before.

“Move it, Frostburn! You’re too slow!” Katsuki shouted as I weaved through the obstacles. He threw a series of small explosions my way, just enough to keep me on my toes.

I gritted my teeth and focused, summoning my Ice Flames to form sharp barriers to block his attacks. At the same time, I started shaping the ice into weapons—spears and daggers, which I launched at him from a distance.

Katsuki dodged them easily, a smirk on his face. “Nice try, but you’re gonna have to do better than that.”

He wasn’t wrong. Katsuki’s relentless approach was both exhausting and exhilarating. The more I trained with him, the more I realized how much potential I had been holding back. But something still nagged at the back of my mind—something that kept me from truly unlocking the full extent of my Quirk.

After another grueling session, we sat on the edge of the training grounds, both of us catching our breath. The sun had set long ago, and the field was illuminated only by the dim lights scattered around the area.

Katsuki glanced over at me, his usual scowl softened by the exhaustion. “You’re getting better,” he admitted, though his tone was still gruff. “But you’re still distracted.”

I sighed, leaning back on my hands. “Yeah. I know.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, then spoke, his voice quieter than usual. “You gonna tell me what’s going on with you? Or are you just gonna keep running from it?”

I hesitated. Katsuki wasn’t the type to ask personal questions, but there was a sincerity in his voice that made me consider opening up.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” I said finally, my voice low. “With Shoto, with the Festival… I just don’t know. I don’t want to be a pawn in my father’s game, but I don’t want to keep running from it either.”

Katsuki was silent for a moment, then he snorted. “Tch. You’re thinking too much. You want to win the Festival? Then win. Screw what your old man thinks. You’re not doing this for him. You’re doing this for you.”

I looked over at him, surprised by his words.

“You’re not a pro-hero anymore,” he continued, his gaze intense. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t still fight like one. Show everyone what you’ve got. Stop worrying about what they think.”

His words hit me harder than I expected. Katsuki had a way of simplifying things, but that was exactly what I needed.

“You’re right,” I said, more to myself than to him. “I’ve been letting everyone else’s expectations control me.”

Katsuki grunted. “Yeah, well, don’t get used to me giving pep talks. It’s annoying.”

I smirked, standing up and stretching my sore muscles. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

We gathered our things and started the walk home, the quiet of the night settling in around us. Katsuki’s presence had become oddly comforting, even if we didn’t talk much. It was like he understood, in his own way.

When we reached my house, he paused, glancing at the windows like he had the night before. “You still training tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” I replied, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear. “Same time?”

He nodded. “Don’t be late.”

__________

The next day at school, things felt different. I wasn’t sure if it was because of the talk I had with Katsuki, or if something in me had shifted. Either way, I felt more focused, more determined. I wasn’t going to let my father, or Shoto, or anyone else dictate how I would approach the Sports Festival. This was about me now.

As I walked into class, I noticed Shoto sitting near the window, his gaze distant as usual. There was tension between us, and I knew it would only get worse as the Festival approached. But something Katsuki had said stuck with me—this wasn’t about them. It was about me.

“Y/N!” Mina called out from across the room, waving me over. “We’re going to the arcade after school today. You in?”

I hesitated for a moment, then remembered what I had promised myself. I couldn’t keep isolating myself. Mina and the others had been trying to include me for days, and it was about time I stopped pushing them away.

“Yeah, I’ll come,” I said, giving her a small smile.

Mina’s face lit up. “Awesome! You’ll have so much fun, I promise!”

Eijiro, Denki, and Sero joined in the conversation, talking excitedly about the games they were going to play. For the first time in a while, I felt like I could breathe a little easier.

_________

After school, we all headed to the arcade together. The atmosphere was light, and Mina’s infectious energy kept everyone laughing. Denki was terrible at almost every game, but he didn’t seem to care. Eijiro and Sero were competitive, but in a way that made everyone enjoy the rivalry rather than stress over it.

I found myself relaxing in their company. It was strange, after so long being alone, to be surrounded by people who genuinely wanted me to be part of their group. Mina’s constant encouragement and Eijiro’s genuine kindness made me realize what I had been missing.

At one point, Katsuki showed up, hands stuffed in his pockets, his usual scowl firmly in place. He didn’t play any of the games, but he hovered near our group, keeping a watchful eye on everything. I caught his gaze a few times, and he’d give me a short nod, as if to say, “You’re doing good.”

It wasn’t much, but it meant something.

By the end of the night, we were all exhausted but happy. As we left the arcade, I couldn’t help but smile. Maybe I had been wrong about keeping my distance. Maybe, just maybe, this was what I needed all along—to stop trying to do everything on my own.

Mina threw an arm around my shoulder as we walked out. “See? I told you it’d be fun!”

I laughed softly. “Yeah, you were right.”

We parted ways after that, everyone heading home in different directions. Katsuki, as usual, walked with me, though he didn’t say much. The quiet between us was comfortable by now.

When we reached my house, I paused at the door, looking at him. “Thanks for today,” I said, my voice quieter than usual.

He shrugged, his gaze shifting away. “Whatever. Just don’t slack off tomorrow.”

I smiled, knowing that this was his way of saying he cared. “Goodnight, Bakugo.”

He gave a small grunt and walked off into the night, his figure disappearing into the darkness.

_________________

Amethyst. Masterlist: Klick Here!

[galliumki]

Can we pretend that it was only just a dream, because mama I'm in love with an idiot

This is my first ever fanfic posted on A03. Might as well share it here lmao

Today is the day.

Today is finally the day… The day Blackhat would be able to officially confess his feelings to none other than Dr. Flug.. Blackhat got dressed fancier than usual and went to his desk to grab flowers and heart-shaped chocolates he bought a few days ago. They’ve been sitting in his desk drawer and it was finally time to take them out and give it to the special someone.

Blackhat smiled and basically skipped through the halls to the laboratory. There was no need to teleport there. It was a special day after all.

He finally made it to the door. Anxiety began flowing through his body. Would Flug accept the gifts? Blackhat thought. It has been a while since he gave Flug a gift but it seemed like Flug didn’t mind at all. He just hoped that… Maybe… Just maybe… Things will be different this time.

Black quietly opened the door of the Lab and stepped inside. Flug was at his table working per usual. He was building some sort of machinery. A robot maybe? Black looks closer and sees blueprints for a toy plane. Ah. He softly chuckles. Him and his airplanes.

He walked closer to Flug, items at hand. He just stood there, waiting for Flug to realize that he was there. However, Flug continued on his work, oblivious to the world around him. He went back and forth from table to counter, grabbing tools and materials for his plane.

It was about five minutes when Blackhat finally had enough and coughed loudly, it echoed throughout the entire room. This was enough to catch Flug’s attention since the sound was loud enough to break him out of his building trance. He jumped a little and turned to Blackhat.

“Hello, sir! What brings you into the lab today? You haven’t given me a new project in a while so I’m just here, doing my own things.” He continued to build his little plane.

This was Blackhat’s time… His time to open up. His time to confess his love and to finally ask him out. He has been practicing in the mirror about how he would ask, but… Why was he shaking so much? Was it different from the real thing? Of course, it was. Even though he has been around the neighborhood, he has never felt a real connection with anyone until now. But what makes it different is that he has never asked anyone out and now he was about to… So, of course, it would be this way.

His nonexistent heart was about to jump out at any moment. He could feel sweat building on his forehead.

Flug looked at Blackhat, most likely raising his eyebrow, “Um.. SIr? Are you alright? You aren’t getting a fever, aren’t you? I never knew you were able to get those. I always assumed you were immune to… well… everything.”

Blackhat gulped, “No… Um…” His voice was shaky. He quietly cursed himself. “We’ve… Um… We have been working side by side for years now and you’ve been the best employee anyone would wish for. But I-.. A few months ago, during our vacation in Hawaii, something inside me awakened.” He grew a bit more confident and made eye contact with Flug.

“It made me realize that…Even though I am not.. A fan.. Of long-term relationships… I would like to have one with you, for a while at least…”

Flug was quiet.

Blackhat continued, stumbling, “So.. uh.. That said.. Uh.” He brought out the flower and the chocolate and held it out towards Flug, “Will you go on a date with me?”

Flug blankly stared at Blackhat, thinking of something… Blackhat began to sweat bullets. Will he say yes? Would he understand what I’m asking?

“Sure.” Flug replied.

In a million years, Blackhat would’ve never guessed that he would date anyone, anyone who is human at least. So, as soon as he got Flug’s answer, he was thrilled. All of his anxiety, worries, and sweat went away. It was as if a large boulder got taken off of him. He smiled the biggest smile anyone has ever seen.

Flug turned around, “What’s the occasion? Did I miss something important? I don’t remember you mentioning an event.” He grabbed his agenda next to him and began going through the pages.

A full wave crashed down on Blackhat. What… What?! He was shocked, in disbelief. It felt like he was about to have a stroke. He didn’t even know what and how he felt anymore, that’s how bad this situation is. All of those hours rehearsing.. All of those hours practicing in front of a mirror. Wasted, “W-WHAT.” He crushed the chocolate box in his hands.

Flug hums, “Hmm.. I don’t see anything. Let me grab my pen. Did you say what the event name and date was, Sir?” He suddenly got grabbed by Blackhat. Both of his hands grabbed Flug's lanky arms.

“What…the… FUCK FLUG. I-”

Flug looked down at his lab coat and saw it had chocolate stains on it now. He faced his boss and tilted his head to the side, confused, “I am sorry, Sir. I do not understand.” Blackhat became furious and shook Flug.

“At first I thought you were messing with me. BUT. IT TURNS OUT. YOU’RE A BLOODY IDIOT. LIKE OH MY FUCKING-. These past months I’ve been giving you subtle hints but you were unaffected, so I was all like “Oh… I guess I am not being assertive enough. So I begin giving you more obvious hints, like letting you into my desk for you to find a picture of you with hearts around out. Then I thought, maybe that made it seem like a hitlist, considering it was in my desk. So then I decided, hey, Valentine’s Day is coming up. Maybe I should tell you straight up using these gifts you humans give each other because that is what you do I guess. BUT I GUESS THAT DIDN’T WORK BECAUSE YOU AREN’T AFFECTED, YOU OBLIVIOUS IMBECILE.” Blackhat violently shook Flug for 30 more seconds. He then stopped after Flug went limp. He then took a deep breath and let go of Flug but still stood in front of him.

The scientist just stood there for a while, not moving. He sort of just… stared at his boss. After a few seconds of complete silence, Flug spoke up, “I am working on a model airplane. Would you like to see it?” He grabbed the airplane and held it in front of him.

At this point, Blackhat just wanted to shoot himself. He had enough with this stupid unrequited love. He had enough of this stupid “oblivious love interest” trope. He rubbed his face with both of his hands, stopped them at his mouth, and deeply sighed, “Flug I’m literally trying to inform you that I, a literal demon from hell who is supposed to be incapable of feeling human emotions, am in love with you, a bumbling human idiot.” He made eye contact with Flug and pointed at him with his hands.

Flug hummed in acknowledgment and raised his airplane a little, “Sort of like how I like airplanes?“

Could this finally be the moment?Blackhat thought. The moment Flug is finally able to realize how I feel about him?His eyes were beaming, “Yes, just like how you like airplanes.”

At that moment, Flug’s entire body straightened and although no one could see his face, anyone could tell that he had a big smile on his face, “Oh- wow.. I..”

Blackhat internally screamed. Yes!!! He finally understands! I finally got through to him. Will he accept?

“Sir.. I didn’t…”

Yes!

“I…”

Yesss!

“I DIDN’T KNOW YOU LIKED AIRPLANES!”

If this was a cartoon, there would be glass breaking. Shards everywhere. Like those moments when the main character’s dream is about to come true until they hear they weren’t hired for the job. That is what Blackhat imagined… That is what he imagined… Blackhat’s mouth was wide open, in shock, in disbelief. Everything he felt in the beginning of this conversation, “I-... Uh-” He couldn’t even finish his sentence.

“If you told me you liked airplanes, I would’ve made you some models earlier. You would’ve had some in your room by now. I can give you this one-”

“NO!” Blackhat threw the chocolate remains at Flug, “NO NO NO NO NO. YOU FUCKIN IDIOT AAAAAHHHHH.” He let out an unholy screech.

Flug stared at his fully covered in chocolate labcoat now, unaffected by Blackhat’s screech. He guessed that his boss didn’t want the airplane. Oh well, more for him, “No airplane then?” He crooked his head to the side.

Blackhat suddenly stopped his unholy screech and glared at Flug. He heavily breathed, “You… I… I am done. You are… an oblivious little…. Shit.” Blackhat didn’t expect what he said to sound so nice and flirtatious. He wanted to be angry but how could he when the scientist blankly stared at him, no emotions, no thoughts. He swore all FLug was thinking about were airplanes. He growled and threw the rose he picked up from the ground at Flug,

“HERE. HAVE YOUR STUPID ROSE.I’M LEAVING. HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY, USELESS FUCK.”

The rose hit Flug’s face but he didn’t feel it. Flug watched as Blackhat stormed out of the laboratory like a little child. Flug was confused as to why but he didn’t want to question it. He picked up the rose and set it on the counter and continued working on the airplane.

—------------------------------------------

Blackhat arrived in his room. He laid against the door, angrily. Unsure, he started throwing things, anything, across the room. Heck, he even threw the bed. It broke his wall. Unsatisfied, he went on a killing spree. He was pretty sure he made it on the news.

He came back to his room that night. The killing “spree” relaxed him. It oddly… felt nice to say the least. He was covered in blood but he didn’t bother changing out of it. He was tired. His emotional breakdown left him exhausted. He never felt this way before but it’s a first for everything.

He dragged himself to a corner in his room and sat there. Contemplating… He tried to answer his own questions but to no avail. However, none of the questions were as hard as the one that continued to scream in his head. Blackhat softly chucked and tucked his head into his knees,

“Why am I in love with an idiot?”

[ghcstao3]

If I were to portray someone unbelievably pathetic and without any hope, would you give me another part of your #anyway mildly supernatural au?

I'll get down on my knees and pray to any god you want.

Just please give me more please.

do not even Fret i would have written more for absolutely nothing in return anyway because i just love writing AUs so much (if you could not already tell)

fun fact this is version 2.0 of what i wanted to write because tumblr didn’t save a draft and i lost everything 🫶 not edited

-

So much and so little time feel like they’ve passed simultaneously as John waits out the rain with Simon—and oddly enough, not once has he seen the bottom of his styrofoam cup of coffee in spite of the plentiful sips he’s certain he’s taken.

In any case.

He and Simon chat aimlessly to fill the minutes, hours, whatever it’s been—something just beyond small talk, though not by much. Not until Simon decides to face John with a rather puzzling question.

“So, then, what brings you here?”

John furrows his brow. “My car broke down,” he says slowly. He can’t help the confusion and tinge of curiosity that melt into his voice, nor can he help wondering why Simon would ask for an answer he already knows.

Yet Simon shakes his head. “No—what brings you here?”

A frown tugs at John’s lips, his eyebrows drawing ever closer. “Dinnae ken.” He shrugs helplessly, tries a different reply, “A road trip?”

Simon hums only as acknowledgment. It’s clear in the way he narrows his eyes and scrutinizes John’s face that it’s still not the answer he’s looking for.

“You’re lost,” Simon concludes.

John scoffs. “Am no’!” He exclaims, frustration laced in his tone as he folds his arms almost defensively across his chest. “I was followin’ a GPS!”

“You are,” Simon insists. “Just not in the way you think.”

With a huff, John drops his arms, instead reaching to curl his fingers back around the still-warm cup of coffee. His frown deepens. “How do you mean?”

Simon tilts his head, gaze ever-analytic. “You’re lucky,” he replies cryptically. “Or unlucky, depending on how you choose to look at it. Not many humans manage to get here.”

Now John is beyond confused. Of course, Simon had been all sorts of vague and avoidant throughout their interactions, but this? John is beginning to think this man might not be all… there.

“Human…?” John swallows. He shifts his weight between weary feet. “Why would I be anything but?”

Simon takes a step away from the counter, rounds past John only to stop at the large window looking out into a small, crumbling lot and the forest beyond the road, all blurred by heavy rain. John realizes with a start that he hadn’t really seen Simon move before that—hadn’t seen deliberate steps, the way he almost glides across the space; graceful, soundless.

It’s almost—dare John say—supernatural.

“Well, you see, Johnny,” Simon says with a mild air of amusement, and John has barely any time to process that Simon knows his name despite it never having been given as he continues, “there’s often a lot more than meets the eye in this world we live in. It just appears you’ve looked in the right place for once.”

“I don’t understand.”

Simon turns back to him, then, the glint in his eyes that same hint of unnatural as his movements. They flash, a glare almost like that of a cat’s in the dark of night.

“I don’t expect you to.”

Simon looks away from John again, a broad figure against the pale grey light that filters inside. John’s heart stutters even as he willingly brings himself closer to Simon.

“The rain will stop soon,” Simon states disinterestedly. It hardly appears like the storm would let up any time soon—the sky is still stained with dark and angry clouds—but Simon says it with such unimpressed, unwavering confidence that John thinks he may as well believe him.

“Will it?” John challenges anyway.

Simon shrugs. “Not unless you don’t want it to.”

John huffs out a quiet laugh. As strange as Simon and everything he’s said is, and as much as John has questioned everything else, he decides he’ll humour the man.

“Maybe just a bit longer, then.”

After all, John hasn’t hated lingering in the store. No harm in indulging in such silly thoughts as controlling the weather.

Simon nods. The corners of his eyes pull upward as if he’s smiling beneath the mask he’s still refused to remove. Briefly, John wonders what other things Simon may be hiding beneath it.

Simon concurs, “Then so it is.”