#thoughts two hours after 3pm

[that-one-moth]

Third Round of new Palestinian families!

Link to the other post(s): Round One, Round Two, Round Four, Round Five, Round Six,

@tahseenkhazen @ahmedomer9 @freepaleatine95 @drfarhatblog @mohammednasers-blog @heno-blog @ameenayasser @kareeem-sd

Free Palestine! 🇵🇸🍉❤️

[wcnderlnds]

home sweet home | choi seung-hyun (t.o.p)

・❥・ summary: after his big interview, you go over to make sure he's okay and there's a shift in the friendship. ・❥・word count: 941 ・❥・warnings: none! oh, except for kissing, i guess. ・❥・ authors note: ok im nervous about this one. i havent wrote fics for musicians, etc. in years so we'll see how it goes but im so down bad for this man

Each glance at the clock made your heart beat just a little faster, the hours ticking by slowly. If you were nervous then you couldn’t even imagine how he felt. His first interview in years — it had to be the most daunting experience to put himself back into the spotlight like that. Your foot tapped against the floor of your apartment as you waited for the clock to hit 3PM. That was the time you’d told him you’d go over to his place to check on him. His interview would’ve been over by then and it gave him some time to process things on his own. Most of the time Seung-hyun liked to isolate himself but if there was one person in the world that he’d let see him at his most vulnerable, it was you. Not like he had a choice anyway. Whether he wanted it or not, you were always checking on him. He was your nearest and dearest friend so you couldn’t let him face his demons on his own.

Seung-hyun appreciated it more than he would ever be able to explain to you. As of now, you were the only person he hadn’t shut out — his guiding light in the darkness of his life for the past few years. You were a big reason why he thought more positively these days, why he even had the courage to pick himself up and get back out into the world.

Finally, 3PM came and without hesitation, you made your way over to his place. As you raised your fist to knock, the door pulled open. There he stood, a smile on his face as his dark, floppy hair got in the way of his glasses. He pushed his hair back as you stepped inside. It really was a crime how this man could look so good at any given time. He really had been blessed with amazing genes. His hair with no product in, the glasses framing his face and the comfortable hoodie he was wearing made your heart almost skip a beat.

“How’d it go?” You asked as you wrapped your arms around him in a tight hug.

“Okay,” he replied, his arms wrapping around you, holding you against his chest. “Scary but I did it and that’s the main thing. It’s long overdue.”

“I’m so proud of you,” you smiled. As you pulled back, you let your arms rest on his forearms, gazing up into his gorgeous dark eyes. “Baby steps, yeah? Go at your own pace. But, for now, let’s eat and you can tell me all about it.”

The dinner was spent with you both laughing, him telling stories of how the interview went, you telling him about your day — he was always so willing to listen to every word you said. The way he looked at you paired with the way he was always so attentive was any person’s dream. Seung-hyun was a catch; anyone with eyes could see that. Yours had been closed for so long but now? You were starting to realise that maybe, just maybe, what you both needed had been right in front of you this whole time.

As the two of you stood in the kitchen clearing up, you ran a plate under the sink, rinsing off the debris so you could put it in the dishwasher. Spinning around, you came face to chest with Seung-hyun who had been standing behind you placing something in the cabinet above your head. You gulped at the proximity, his fingers sliding over yours as he took the plate from your hand. It was only brief contact but it was enough to make your heart speed up.

“Here, let me do that,” he said quietly, his deep voice like music to your ears. It took him all of two seconds to reach over, bend down and place it in the dishwasher before he was back facing you. 

“Thank you,” your voice was soft, eyes locking with his as you glanced up.

Seung-hyun gently tucked a stray piece of your hair behind your ear, his fingers skimming your cheek as he pulled back. Your breath caught in your throat. It was like time had frozen still for a moment — nothing but you and your best friend locked in this monumental piece of time where you realised this was more than friendship. Maybe it always had been. Your heart had just finally decided to catch up and realise it. From the moment you had met this amazing, incredible man, he’d had a piece of your heart. All you ever wanted to do was protect him, care for him like he deserved. The world had been cruel to him but you’d make sure that nothing would be again.

It was as if he was reading your mind, his hand cupping your cheek, the pad of his thumb caressing the soft skin of your cheek. Who was going to be the first to make a move? Was it worth risking the friendship? It seemed like it to Seung-hyun as he leaned forward and ever so gently pressed his lips to yours, eyes fluttering shut. Your hands rested on his chest, lips moving together in perfect sync. Like two puzzle pieces finally coming together. You could feel him smiling against your lips, pulling back ever so slightly. Your lips parted, chest rising and falling with each breath. 

“Can I do that again?” He asked almost breathlessly. 

You didn’t even say a word instead placing your hand at the back of his neck and pulling him back down to your lips. Yeah, there was definitely no going back now.

[oceantornadoo]

rose scented scrubs

ex-husband Michael ‘Robby’ Robinavitch x f!reader

the post-divorce love confession fic of my dreams, word count 5.5k

ps I know Dana said it was her last shift in one of the episodes but idc deal with it I had to write her.

-

It was a few hours into your book when you realized you’d made a terrible, terrible mistake.

It had been the first cafe to catch your eye, advertising a yummy pastry you’d been aching to try on a beautiful late Saturday morning. Only after you’d noticed the fourth person in scrubs at the counter did you realize your mistake. The cafe had two entrances - one on the busy street you came in on, the other right outside of Pittsburg Medical Center.

Current workplace of your ex-husband.

You hadn't been near the hospital in months. When you'd been married (the past tense of it a hard pill to swallow, let alone think), you would drive by the hospital on your way to work, leaving early so you could stop by and get a kiss from the man who'd already been up since 5am. After the papers were signed, ink dried and heart broken, you told yourself to revel in those extra twenty minutes of sleep. Now you could drive straight to work, no pit stop needed, and all you had to give up was your marriage.

An almost-kid in black scrubs burst through the door, scanning his phone like his life depended on it. With his flustered expression, he looked like the stereotype of a country boy losing his way in the big city. You checked the clock - 3pm. A little over halfway into the usual twelve-hour shift from 7 to 7. The knowledge sprang up unbidden, carved into your brain by how long you’d lived and breathed it. “Hello! Can I get one black coffee, no cream or sugar, two lattes, regular milk…” he ended with a total of ten drinks, an amount the barista behind the counter barely seemed flustered by. At least for one of them, it wasn’t their first day on the job. He ended up near your chair and the urge to ask was too great, desperation clawing its way out of your throat.

“Are they making the interns get drinks now?” You quip, immediately cursing yourself. There was absolutely no reason to interact, who knows if he’s even in Robby’s department, why- “Yeah, actually. We had a pretty rough time last month, so the admin staff is giving us a new food and drink stipend instead of more staff.” He laughs to himself before remembering that you're a stranger, his cheeks apple red. “Are you a doctor?” He asks. Now it just sounded creepy if you said no, but there was absolutely no chance you could say yes. “No, but I’ve got friends at the hospital.” Friends being Dana, who forces you into monthly mental health check ins where she stares at you until you cry.

“Who’s your friend? If you want, you could stop by with me. I haven’t memorized her name yet, well it’s only my first month, but the front desk worker is super nice, especially since the ER is slow right now.” You gulp at the pit (figurative, not literal) that you’ve dug yourself into. Of course you had to talk to the ER intern. It couldn’t have been Peds, where they’d invite you to say hi to cute babies from the NICU glass? You’ve done it once or twice, bored of waiting on Robby and making friends with all the nurses.

You open to give your refusal and apologies but get interrupted by the barista shouting “Dennis!” Three containers of drinks appear out of nowhere, and you can’t help but cringe at how Dennis has no way to carry them all. He’s currently attempting to balance one on top of the other, and your duty as a Good Samaritan suddenly becomes clear. The thought of seeing Dana, and perhaps Collins or McKay if you’re lucky, makes your heart swell. Robby will be easy to avoid if you stay vigilant. Tucking your book into your tote, you stand and prepare yourself for battle. It’s easy to make your way to Dennis, who looks like a circus performer, and grab two of the drink trays. “C’mon, kid. Let’s caffeinate these people.”

It feels like a dream you’ve dreamt a thousand times. Walking into the ER, looking fabulous with your makeup just right and your best perfume on. Dropping off a sick friend and running into Robby, stunning him with your six-month post-divorce glow up. Or maybe it’s a year later and you bring in an injured and scandalously younger boyfriend to show him what he’s missing. After those dreams, you always wake up empty, soul heavy. In other ones, it’s you on the gurney, letting him prove to himself he can save the people he loves, that you’re not just another Adamson. A romantic revelation that would fix those last hollow months of your marriage, grief and regret heavy on his tongue but never making its way out. Those end in tears, your face wet when you wake.

You’d never imagined this - your best weekend leggings and your favorite tote swinging from your shoulder as you follow in what has to be Robby's baby intern. You nod at the woman behind the counter, a new person you don’t know. She seems about to stop you from going in but then you hear a clear voice yell your name. So much for an in and out mission.

McKay greeted you with a warm smile, taking one of the drink trays from you as she nudges your shoulder. “Long time no see!” Her friendly tone makes you ache with regret. You’ve kept up with Dana only because she forced her way into your new, solitary life. It felt uncouth to reach out to McKay or Collins, like it would seem a ploy to get back to Robby. Shame ruins through your veins at your actions, or lack thereof. “Hey, I’m sorry for the ghosting. Been going through some stuff. I like your new bangs!” She doesn’t let you distract her, brows staying knitted at your second sentence. For once, you hate how determined she can be, her maternal instincts knowing no bounds. “What stuff?” McKay pulls you off the side, ignoring the drinks in both of your hands that are definitely in demand.

“Well, I’m sure you already know.” You roll your shoulder forward to emphasize your point. It’s pretty clear what you’re talking about, but the word ‘divorce’ feels too ugly to mention between you two. She doesn’t seem to get the memo, looking you up and down like she’s expecting the answer to pop out of the sweater you’re wearing. “I don’t get paid enough for you to waste my time being all facetious.” You snort, but the anticipation of your next words sobers you quickly. “Moving out, finding a new place, all the paperwork. It’s been a lot, but I should’ve kept up and I’m sorry.” Her lips purse in confusion. There’s a strain around her shoulders and you hate that this talk might be causing it, probably reminding her of her own divorce. “Did something happen at your old apartment? We don’t talk personal lives too much, but Robby would’ve mentioned a flood or something. Or did you guys finally get a bigger place?” The thought of that lightens her eyes, a rare smile you don’t see too much in the ER. Your heart sinks.

Robby didn’t tell her.

Of course, he left the hard stuff to you, once again. “Cass…” you trail off, unsure how to continue. Once again, you’re saved by an interruption. “What are you doing, robbing my best staff and not saying hi?” Dana appears, her short white-blond hair framing her face like a stern angel. You’ve haven’t seen her in a month and a half since she took some time off to deal with personal stuff after a particularly rough shift. She’s never been a big texter, so you anticipated more information at your future catch up, planned for next week. “I ran into one of the interns looking lost in the cafe over and simply had to help.” You tease. Your eyes meet hers but immediately look over her head, searching for him. Wherever she goes, he’s not far behind, always paying his dues in following her wisdom.

“He’s in Trauma 1, helping a drowning victim.” Fuck, you’re caught. Dana smirks at you like she’s inside your head. McKay’s eyes twinkle like there’s something romantic about to happen and you mourn the fact you’re about to give her yet another reason to not believe in a man, again. “I wasn’t looking for him, I was looking for Collins.” You bite, ignoring how McKay’s confusion has reached an all time high to your right. To distract them both, you push the drink tray forward. “I think there’s a hazelnut latte somewhere in here for you, Ms. Busybody.” Dana narrows her eyes as she finds the drink you’re talking about, plucking it out with precision. One drink down, three to go and then you can leave. That intern, Dennis, is nowhere to be found. You’d leave the drinks on the desk, but you know that would be a hazard in so many ways. Plus, some person would probably grab a drink that’s not theirs and you can’t be responsible for pandemonium - you know what lack of caffeine can do to a healthcare worker. Thankfully, the white lids read their contents: black coffee, hot tea, and…hot chocolate? Maybe there’s a kid who needed some comfort.

“Do you know who the rest are for?” You question. Dana shrugs and you can sense some ulterior motive behind her eyes. “Sounds like a question for Whittaker.” That must be Dennis. In the crowd of gurneys and scrubs, you can’t seem to find him. “The hot tea is for Collins and the hot chocolate is for Javadi, one of the interns. Of course, you know who the black coffee is for.” Double fuck.

You had hoped it was someone else who had a taste for black sludge, but unfortunately only one doctor does. Cowardly, you turn to McKay and give her your best try of puppy dog eyes. “Do you mind passing these out?” She snorts, clearly amused. “As if I’m getting between you and Robby mid shift. I remember last October all too well.” You stiffen at the memory. Surprising the staff with pumpkin cookies you’d baked, shrieking when Robby had grabbed you by the hips and ordered you into an unused storage room. How McKay had opened the door (“looking for supplies, I swear I did not want to see any of that”) with your hand in your husband’s scrubs and your leg, chilly in a skirt for easy access, wrapped around his waist.

“I see Collins. It was nice seeing you, McKay.” It’s a rude goodbye, but you can’t stomach anything more. Collins’ signature red jacket is easy to spot as she comes out of one of the nearby rooms, conferring sternly with what seems to be another intern. They just keep multiplying.

“Like I told you, you wait for my instructions, you don’t just intubate because-“ Your eyes catch and the emotional weight around your shoulders sags a bit more. She sends the intern off with one more warning before greeting you with a slight smile. “I heard you needed a hot tea.” You brandish the drink tray like a shield. She takes the cup delicately, taking a small sip and sighing in delight. “I haven’t seen you in six months. Work trip or something? Robby’s been worse than usual.” He didn’t tell her either. It’s starting to look like the only people who know about your divorce are you, Robby, and Dana. It begs the question why, but you’re not strong enough to answer. You know Collins would be a good person to confide in, but you don’t want to drop a bomb on what looks like an exhausting day. Her outward mask might be tough, but once you got over the awkwardness of her being Robby’s long-ago fling, you’ve always been able to see right through it.

“Something like that. You okay?” You move her off to the side before she can get swept into another case. She gives you another one of those barely-there smiles, and you ache to think that she’s been struggling with something, maybe worse than you. Maybe she sees something reflected back, because in a rare move, she opens up. “I had a miscarriage a month ago.” On instinct, you find an empty chair to set the drink tray on before sweeping her in your arms. She doesn’t like to be touched by many, especially at work, but she makes an exception for you.

“Oh, Heather.” It’s all you can say. She doesn’t cry, too battle worn and aware of the eyes on her, but the breath she takes is a near thing. After a few seconds, she pulls back, tight lipped and eyes shining. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve been there, but this isn’t about me. Oh, honey.” You murmur. You squeeze her hand, trying to impress on her all the things you cannot say. Heather Collins doesn’t like empty platitudes, so you don’t try to give her any. For a second, she squeezes your hand back before her mask slides back into place. “Thank you. Robby’s been kind, let me go home early the day it happened and pick the best shifts. It seems he kept it secret, so I’m thankful.” You don’t mention that the last time you talked to him was six months ago in a lawyers office. You know Robby and even if you were still together, he would’ve taken this secret to the grave. One of the things you love about him.

She switches the topic to you, asking about your supposed trip, but a miracle, or rather a group of interns, rumbles past you. You might not be a doctor but they’re easy to spot, unsure or overconfident, spilling unhelpful advice like gospel. “Hey! Any of you Javadi?” You call out. The girl nearest you whips her head around like you just cursed her name. She looks barely past college, hair pulled back into a ponytail of midnight black. “Me. I- that’s me.” You bend down, plucking the hot chocolate out of its tray and handing it to her. Her eyes are bright and thankful, like it's a winning lottery ticket instead of a drink. “Thank you! I’m sorry, I don’t know your name, Doctor…”

“Robby!” The middle intern says, her posture stiff with self-confidence. “Um…” you trail off, looking to Collins for help before remembering she doesn’t know. “I heard Princess and Perlah talking. You’re Robby’s wife, right?” All you can do is gape at the gall of her, your mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. Collins restrains a laugh, unhelpful, and the other interns are looking at you like you’ve hung the stars. What in the world do you-

“Indeed. Last time I checked, this was a hospital to learn, not gossip. Keep it moving, you three.” His voice is like melted honey, warm and gooey and too comforting to name. Collins mentions something about a patient, taking her leave with raised eyebrows. It’s hard, but you try not to acknowledge the voice behind you as you watch her walk away. Only when her red jacket disappears from view do you turn.

He doesn’t look good. It’s what you said you wanted, of course, but the truth is, you’re just concerned. There’s dark circles under his eyes, almost covered by those black rounded glasses of his. A few new grays grace the side of his head, stark against the rest of him. The wrinkles on his face make him look aged, not the wise wizard you forced him to be for Halloween a few years ago. His scruffy beard dots his jawline and the ache to feel it is so deep, you fear it’ll never leave.

“Hi.” You whisper shyly, a knock-kneed girl instead of the woman you are. He smiles that gentle smile of his, crow's feet unapologetic, and it seems to turn back time. Just yesterday, you might’ve been making dinner together or cuddling on the couch. “Hi. I heard you’ve got a drink for me?” You nod, not trusting your voice as you point to the chair in between you. Deft fingers find his cup and pull. It’s hard not to watch them work, not to trace the calluses and the nimble movements. “Since when do interns order you around?” He asks, taking a second to gulp down his coffee. You stare at the movement of his throat, so many dirty memories making themselves known in the back of your head. “I’ve been demoted, I guess.” It didn’t mean to come out like that but it’s clear that’s what he thinks, a sudden frown appearing on his face.

“Is something wrong? Some paperwork I need to sign?” He asks in a burst. Your stomach churns at the rejection and instinctively, you take a step back. He seems to try to follow you, but the leg of the chair stops him. “No, I just - It’s funny, I guess. I was at that new cafe across the street and ran into an intern who looked like he needed help and well, I figured it would be nice to see Cassie and Heather, so here I am.” You end your rant with a shrug, instantly regretting every decision that led you here. Of course you were going to run into him. There wasn’t any other path, not for you. And of course, he just thinks you’re here for paperwork. He’s clearly moved on, even if he looks like he’s hurting. It’s time you do to.

“Well, that’s all my drinks, so…” Trailing off, you look around desperately for help. The Pitt seems to be against you, everyone following their standard practice of leaving you two alone when all you want is to be away from him. “How are you?” He whispers like a secret, voice raspy but sure. Emotion swells in your sternum instantly at his question. Soft eyes take your awkwardness in stride as he steps around the chair until he’s on your left, back to the Pitt. The familiarity of it is like a bullet to chest. “I’m fine. You?”

Robby shrugs, letting you trace the lines of his shoulders under that familiar sweatshirt. "Rough couple of months, to be honest." You blink at his honesty. That same honesty that led to that fateful conversation - you'd served him the divorce papers, but he was the one to suggest lawyers and due process. The papers were meant to wake him up, make him realize how much he needed to fix this, but all they did was end things.

"I wanted to see you. Dana wouldn't give me your new address, something about not being ready. Plus, I think you blocked me," he laughs at himself like it's funny, what he's admitting. A thousand questions form, 'why' and 'when' and 'what'. You'd blocked him and deleted his number the moment the papers finalized, knowing you weren't strong enough to truly recover if you could talk to him. It looks like he didn't do the same, and a rare burst of hope shines through the fog that's made itself at home in your brain. You gape, no words coming to you.

One of those hands, strong and capable and not yours, raises to push his glasses up his nose. You freeze.

It's still there.

Three years ago, ring shopping to find a perfect band. He got a black plastic version as well, something he could wear to work without worrying about blood or a rogue patient. That same black band still graces his ring finger, a blaring alarm that things aren't what they seemed.

"Michael." There's nothing else to add, your eyes still trained on his hand. Of course, all-seeing as he is, he picks up on what you're looking at right away. He's quiet, face worn with contemplation. "Why?" You ask, voice wavering. Tears form in an instant, choking any air in your lungs. "I couldn't take it off," he admits, somber. You think of your own ring, tucked away in your new bedstand that you had to build yourself. "I don't understand," you rasp.

"Baby, I've been-"

"Robby, we need you!" A voice breaks through the bubble you're in. Without realizing, you've become almost nose-to-nose, curling your hands to your chest in an attempt to not touch him. He sighs, pulling back a little, and it's like losing the warmth of the sun. "You know where the staff lounge is?" He asks, smiling when you nod immediately. "Wait for me. I'll be there soon." He hands you his coffee and rips himself away, already reaching for a hand sanitizer station.

-

In the staff lounge, your book sits unopened on the table. It's hard to do when your mind won't stop whirling, wondering if you've gotten this all wrong. The door bursts open and you snap up, hopeful, only to shrink a little when you realize it's not him. You recover quickly, not wanting to seem rude in a place you're not supposed to be in. "Hi, Kiara." You've only met her once or twice, but she's the kind of comforting soul you'd remember. She gives you a smile and then beelines for the electric kettle in the back. "Mrs. Robby, how are you?" You gulp at her question, realizing your ex-husband truly told no one about his divorce. "I've been better, but nothing I can't handle. You?" It's hard not to be honest when she's so easy to talk to, pulling out a chair for her to wait for her kettle. "One of those days. A mother just lost her child, so I'm making her a hot tea." Despite the dark news, the tight-lipped smile she sends you seems genuine. You ask about the ER overall and she tells you about the mass-casualty event that happened last month. You know a bit from Jake's mom, checking in on him through her instead of wanting to bother a grieving teenager who'd already been frustrated about the divorce.

As the kettle finishes, the door bangs open again. This time it is Robby, who looks flustered but sends you a smile anyways. It's like licking a spoon of brownie batter - secretive and a little wrong, but delicious anyways. You shouldn't have waited, should've left when you could, but deep down you need your questions answered. Kiara passes him with a cup in her hands, whispering something into his ear as she leaves. "I will." Robby replies, making you frown at the secrecy. Usually, if they're discussing a patient, they'll do it in front of you without names. Whatever that was had to be personal, and you're too emotionally raw not to ask.

"What was that?" You mutter, a little unkindly. Robby takes a seat, and you push his coffee cup towards him. His knee taps yours in thanks and stays there, its presence bewildering but not unwelcome. "She told me to use the communication skills we've been talking about." A laugh bursts out of you and you regret it instantly, your knee pressing into his. "Since when do you have communication skills?" You chortle. That's one of the things he might have at work, but never in a relationship. It used to be a joke between you, how you had to pry his true feelings out of him at the beginning of your relationship, but it turned to bitter satire in the end.

A heavy hand lands on your thigh, burning its way through the thin fabric of your leggings. "I know my communication has been...lacking," you hold back a snort, "but after last month, I've been talking to Kiara. Seems like I should've been following my own advice all this time." He admits, squeezing your thigh at the end of his sentence. Wide-eyed shock works its way through your veins. He actually addressed the major reason you said you wanted a divorce. The contentment you feel is like a nugget of gold, there for you to hoard and keep safe from judgement.

"Robby, that's wonderful. I'm proud of you, really." You exclaim, finding his hand on your leg and covering it with your own. The silicone of his ring digs into your fingers, and you let it. "I like it better when you call me Michael." He confesses. His chair squeaks as he turns towards you, shifting positions until his knees bracket yours on either side. His free hand raises to cup your face, familiar fingers petting your hair and your skin.

"Why are you wearing your ring, Michael?" You blurt, the need for his answer too great to hold back. Your ex-husband sighs, leaning forward until his face is all you see. On instinct, you reach out to take off his glasses and set them on the table. He always complained they hurt his nose, so he only wears them when reading. You brush the imprint left behind, smoothing down red marks and tracing the places you used to kiss every morning.

"You're still the love of my life, sweetheart." He confesses as you stiffen. He takes the lead, guiding you out of the chair and onto the worn couch on the far side of the room. It's easier to sink into his hold here, your face and your heart in the palms of his hands. Yells echo through the door, giving you an out to slide back and interrogate.

"That's how you treat the love of your life? You barely talked to me for months, Robby. You refused to go to therapy or marriage counseling and..." What you leave unsaid is too hurtful to bare. An old insecurity that was watered by months of loneliness, Robby picking up shifts to skip out on weekends together. "And what, baby? Don't hold back now." He practically demands, tugging your legs into his lap so you're under the full force of his stare. "And you started skipping weekends with me. Taking shifts when we were supposed to go on dates. Smelling different, like perfume instead of disinfectant." You whisper the last part, staring at your hands in your lap.

He laughs. An actual laugh.

You try to push off of him, but he tugs you until all the fight drains out. "I really fucked this up, haven't I?" He states. Robby almost never swears, so the use of one makes you pay attention. "Will you stop being an asshole and tell me what you mean?" You pout, upset that your emotions are getting brushed off. His thumb brushes over your bottom lip that juts out, tucking it back until he touches your teeth. "Detergent, baby, I swear. They found some awful cheap laundry detergent for our scrubs. I had some bad luck for weeks, fluids on me every day." He reasons, but you refuse to believe it. He knows you too well, of course. Robby tilts your chin until your eyes catch on a box of Rose Detergent for Hospitals, Clinics, and More near the trash can.

"This is what I mean, Michael! This kind of shit was in my head for months but I couldn't talk to you." He sobers instantly, that constant forlorn expression of his making itself known on his face. Robby interlaces your hands, laying his in your lap. Against your will, it grounds you. "The administration had wanted me to do a post-COVID remembrance for all the workers we lost and I just couldn't. Couldn't look at you without being reminded that I lived when so many better people died. I felt like I didn't deserve our happiness, and I took it out on you. I'm sorry." Only when he brushes your face do you realize it's wet. This is what you wanted for months, to hear the thoughts in his head instead of his sarcastic quips or his no-nonsense tone. This was your husband.

He held you to his chest, letting you calm down to the sound of his heartbeat. There's a compulsion under your skin, wanting to bind you two together until you don't know where you end and he begins. Ambulance sirens and pattering footsteps and shouts of pain all fade away when you work your hands through his scruffy beard, admiring the glints of silver that show here and there. "You might be a doctor, but you're an idiot." He nods, letting you curl further into him. "I don't regret divorcing you, because I am not doing your emotional labor for you." Another nod, this one shorter and more serious. "But I'm willing to try again, if you want to. The right way, where we go to counseling and actually talk." Finally, a grin. It changes his entire face, muscle and sinew rearranging into the man you once knew.

He doesn't have to answer. His kiss does it for him.

It's soft and tentative, barely there. A surge of anger sinks through you at how utterly bull-headed he's been. You push into him until his back hits the sofa, climbing him until your pelvises meet in a kiss. You pour months of resentment into your kiss and he meets you halfway, muscles under you tensing as you clash. "You asked to get lawyers." You bite his jaw as you say it, a fact you've been stewing over. "Wanted to make sure you got my money." He squeezes your ass, pulling you into him until you roll your hips over his cock, barely contained by his scrubs. This isn't the place for your first recoupling, but with how the couch is out of the way of the window over the door, and that no one seems to be looking for him, it'll do for now.

"Such a stubborn old man." You gripe, then gasp as he nips your neck. Robby lays kisses to your jaw, trailing down to your neck and sucking hard like a teenager. Broad hands urge your hips to grind, fucking yourself in his lap as you chase satisfaction. It's been so long since you've had an orgasm, every attempt reminding you of Robby. "Pretty sure you used to call me something else, baby." He mutters, one hand leaving your waist to sneak under your sweater. He finds your nipples hardened and achy, pulling one out of your bra cup and rolling it between his fingers. "I only call my husband that." You whine as your clit hits just the right angle of his clothed cock, bucking faster in his lap.

"Everyone around here knows you as my wife." He shoots back, pinching your nipple to emphasize his point. You find the crook of his neck and lay your forehead there, panting as your thighs burn with their ministrations. His hand on your waist flattens, fingers inching closer to your front but not where you need them. It's clear he's waiting for something, his thumb tracing the outline of your panties as he stays there. The longing to give in is too great.

"Please, Daddy. I need to come." You moan, not letting shame make its way into your head. You can feel him grin against you as his thumb finds your clothed clit, rubbing small circles as you keep bucking. It's what you needed, release creeping over you until you collapse in his arms. He moves his hips a few times into you until you complain of overstimulation.

"Think I just came in my pants." He mutters as you pull back. Giggles erupt from you, turning into snorts as you take in the pained expression on his face. Dr. Michael Robinavitch, coming in his pants like a teenager as his wife straddles him.

"Good thing they have scrubs. And a new rose detergent, I heard." You sass, squealing as he pinches your nipple, still cupped in his hand. He rights your clothing as you calm down, tucking your bra back in place and untwisting your leggings. "You're lucky I love you." He pecks your forehead before resting his own against it. You close your eyes in satisfaction, relieved to have filled this year-old hole in your heart. "I love you too, Michael." Your breaths mingle for a few moments, peace in the middle of the most unpeaceful place in Pittsburg.

Someone bangs on the door. Dana smirks at both of you like she predicted this was coming. "Two GSW's on the way, five minutes." You both sigh at getting caught, yet again. At least it was Dana. "Just enough time to get new scrubs." You cheer. He laughs, moving you both to a standing position before pecking your forehead again. "Put your address in my phone." He orders, fishing out his phone from where it fell into the couch cushions. "So forward, Doctor." You laugh as you type into his familiar phone. "I'll be over with takeout around 7:30, Mrs. Robinavitch." You grin.

"With your luck, it'll be 8 o'clock."

"Will you still wait?"

"Always."

-

this got away from me but wow it was necessary

[jakesimlover444]

𝑑𝘰𝑛‘𝘵 ℎ𝑎𝘵𝑒 𝘵ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑒𝑟 || 𝑙𝑒𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑢𝑛𝑔 (𝑝𝘵 1) ౨ৎ

꒰ ꒱ྀི lee heeseung x fem!reader

☆゙ ↳ main masterlist

☆゙ ↳ prev | next

☆゙ ↳ synopsis: you don‘t want me? fine. the two of us can play that game.

the heartthrob of the campus had finally set his eyes on y/n. she was going to be his next victim, to fall for him and assume she can fix him moments before she finds herself ghosted. but y/n knew all too well…too bad she only captures heeseung‘s heart after beating him at his own game. that’s when she learns: don’t hate the player. hate the game.

☆゙ ↳ wc: 6741

☆゙ ↳ genre/warnings: a lil bit smutty, kinda fluff (?) cursing, sexual harassment (not from heeseung), heeseung tries to touch up reader, pining, fuckboy heeseung, y/n is a virgin, a few typos…if i missed anything pls lmk!!

"okay, okay, we‘ve had monica, brittany, and mina this week alone, yeah?" karina snickers, jotting down the names of lee heeseung‘s newest side quests.

the two best friends, karina and y/n, were huddled together in their university classroom (sitting the furthest away from everybody of course), as if they were little high schoolers gossiping about who kissed who.

however, what they were doing wasn’t far from immature, childish gossip. here, they were strategizing who lee heeseung—the school‘s fuckboy—would go for next. it was like a fun little game to the girls, the excitement of seeing how right their guesses could get making them giggle every time.

although it was only the beginning of sophomore year in uni, mr. fboy heeseung had already had his way with nearly half the school, so y/n and karina knew their time would come soon. the only difference between them being karina was open to a night with heeseung. no strings attached, of course. it’s been a month since her messy breakup with her former girlfriend yunjin, and she knew heeseung was the only person who‘d give her a good night with no feelings, guaranteed.

then there was y/n. not to say she’s "not like everyone else," she does find heeseung attractive and well, a little charming—she hates the idea of being with anyone "no strings attached." and heeseung‘s version of adding strings to his puppet was dating them for a week after hooking up before inevitably ghosting them. and unfortunately for y/n, that wasn’t enough.

y/n nods at karina‘s question, holding up three fingers to represent each of heeseung‘s playthings.

"and how about abby? the blonde one with big boobs? classic bimbo," y/n inquiries quietly, "have they gotten together yet?" karina lets out a noise similar to a "pfft" before nodding her head, answering. "a few times, actually. he really likes her.." karina trails off, shaking her head.

"i just…don‘t know who else.." y/n trails off, biting her thumb in thought. "bianca martinez?" karina nods.

"yeji?" karina nods once more.

"damn—minji?" and again, karina nods.

y/n lightly palms her face in disbelief.

"i guess this one will be a surprise, hm?" jokes karina, a playful smile lingering on her lips.

y/n sighs, defeated. "guess so."

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

"remember, guys! tutoring begins 3pm today! if you‘re late then your extra credit points are docked!" spoke mr. glenn as class ended, reminding y/n of her duty she needed to fulfill later on today as a top student. with a groan, she stood up and grabbed her baby pink bag, lightly slinging it over her shoulder.

"oh you‘ll be having fun teaching those dumbasses.." teased karina, tickling y/n‘s side with a grin as the two girls exited class together.

"ugh, i know.." laughed y/n as karina tickled her. "i‘m gonna be stuck here for two whole hours kari.." y/n whined, pouting as she leaned her head on karina‘s shoulder, walking towards their dorm room.

"you‘ll be okay, i‘ll buy you lots of food after, hm?" karina said as she stroked y/n‘s hair, feeling her head nod against her.

a couple hours later, y/n arrived inside mr. glenn‘s dim-lit classroom, ready (but annoyed) to teach a bunch of frat boys and sorority girls who are falling behind.

coming in with a fake smile, y/n shot mr. glenn a small wave as she strutted inside the classroom confidently, sitting down at the table sectioned off to help students with english. pulling out her phone, she laid her head down, scrolling through tiktok to pass time before students came in.

and just as she predicted, a student was already approaching her table for help.

"hey, beautiful.." spoke an almost familiar voice, tone sultry and flirtatious. "wanna help me get this english grade up?"

y/n looked up from her phone to meet eyes with the boy who was seemingly so eager to get his english grade up. but when y/n saw him, her breath slightly hitched and she had to clear her throat to regain her faintly lost composure. because being face to face with lee heeseung was not what she expected.

"um..heeseung.." y/n spoke hesitantly, grabbing her english textbook. swallowing, her elegant hands flipped page through page, trying to find the section they last left on in class.

"do you need help with what we‘ve recently been doing?" y/n asked, trying to ignore that sensual expression heeseung wore on his face.

"sure." heeseung shrugs. "i haven‘t been doing much in class…" he trails off, grabbing the textbook from y/n, his soft, pale hands brushing against hers.

y/n refused to show any reaction to heeseung‘s touch, which he took note of. poor y/n, she has no idea heeseung likes a challenge.

"well i can guide you through the notes we‘ve been taking this week on literary theory and textual interpretation. it sounds pretty difficult but i can guarantee you it’s easy." y/n‘s voice remained fairly monotone and pretty professional, heeseung‘s charm starting to wear off on her. that shyness from a minute ago was no longer present.

y/n grabbed her english notebook from her bag, opening it to a page filled with notes. heeseung scoffs as y/n opens her mouth to speak, interrupting her.

"oh, you‘re cute.." he smirks, laying his hands on her page of notes, tapping up and down with his finger.

"i didn’t want you to actually teach me, my dear." his voice lowers to that of a whisper. "i have a proposal." his lips curl up into a smile in contrast to y/n‘s frown.

"which is..?" y/n questions, her tone a bit irritated. she crossed her arms, leaning back in her chair.

"you do my work…and i‘ll pay you." heeseung speaks confidently.

"how much are we talking?" y/n asks, seemingly annoyed. but that doesn’t break heeseung‘s cocky demeanor.

"oh i‘m not talking about money, love.."

y/n can only roll her eyes at his suggestion, already knowing where this would go.

"i‘ll fuck you for every assignment you do, hm? whatever you want. there‘s nothing i haven‘t done, afterall." he slightly bites his lip, leaning back in his seat, now manspreading.

"and that’s exactly why i won‘t take up that offer…" y/n‘s voice holds a note of offense. "glad to know that’s what you think of me…" y/n rolls her eyes, completely finished putting up with heeseung‘s attitude, starting to pack her stuff up.

"oh, come on, baby. i‘m not saying you‘re a slut—i can tell you‘re a virgin. you‘re so uptight." heeseung gestures his hands towards himself. "i‘m offering you something over half the girls on campus would die for."

"heeseung, you don’t even know my name." y/n retorts, standing up to leave.

"y/n!! leaving so soon?" mr. glenn calls out, noticing y/n ready to leave.

y/n nods, telling mr. glenn she has an emergency at home. but before she walks off, heeseung grabs her wrist gently, but firm enough to turn her around, her eyes locked on his.

with a smirk heeseung says, "now i do, y/n."

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

with a groan, y/n slams shut her dorm room door, back pressed against it as she let out a frustrated sigh.

"damn, they really got you so bad you had to leave early, hm?" karina teases, putting down her phone and sitting up on her purple sheeted bed.

y/n hangs her head down, a vexed smile on her face as she let out a breathy laugh, making a piece of her hair fly slightly forward. she shot karina a knowing look.

"you won‘t fucking believe who the hell i had to tutor for like—five minutes today…"

y/n threw herself down on karina‘s bed, right next to the raven-haired girl.

"who?? oh my god — was it that one guy who practically stalked you last year?" karina lets out an unbelieved laugh.

y/n shakes her head. "no..this guy was somehow almost worse." she scoots ever so slightly closer. "lee fucking heeseung.." y/n snorts as she laughs, covering her giggles with her hands as karina mimics, both of the girls laughing in disbelief.

"no way! i doubt there was much tutoring going on…" karina says behind her hand that slightly muffled her words.

y/n shakes her head. "yeah. for lack of a better word at i least 'tutored' heeseung."

y/n sits up, holding air quotes around the word tutored.

"did he say anything? like…" karina lowers her voice to a whisper as if there were other people around. "does he wanna fuck you?"

y/n‘s eyes widen and she lets out a small gasp, slightly taken aback by the question her brown-eyed best friend asked her. but she quickly fixes herself, answering, "yeah. he offered to dick me down if i did his assignments…" y/n tossed herself back-down on karina‘s soft bed, laying flat as she looked up to the blank, white ceiling, eyeing the spinning fan.

"sooo..? did you take up the offer?" karina asks with the most curious tone, laying down indirectly on top of her best friend in order to pry an answer out.

"nooo.." y/n spoke shyly. "i don’t wanna lose my virginity to an asshole fuckboy." y/n scrunches her nose, disgusted at the idea.

"well if you won’t take him…" karina then slowly pointed to herself, suggesting that she should get a piece of hee.

y/n pushes karina‘s shoulder, causing the pale woman to fall on her back. y/n sits up. "no, karina. you need to get back with yunjin…you guys broke up for a stupid ass reason. she needs to realise you weren‘t flirting with another girl, and move on. with you…"

karina slowly moves her eyes down in the direction of her phone before she picks it up, hand grasping her silver case.

"about that…" karina‘s face shows mischief before showing y/n messages between karina and yunjin.

yunjin: i miss u, rina 🙁🙁 so much.

karina: yunjin, you broke up with me, if you want me back so bad you have me…

yunjin: maybe i do. but what you did wasn’t ok, rina. i hate that stupid bitch heather and you still spoke to her

karina: baby pls…i‘ll do anything to make it up to you, i am so so sorry..

yunjin: then let me come over tonight. then maybe you could show me how sorry you really are.

karina: fine…does around 9 work?

yunjin: yeah. get y/n out of there tho. i wanna be alone.

"oh my god…rina..!" y/n said, a bit shocked. "she misses you! this is good!"

karina curls her lips up a bit. "either that or she wants some pussy tonight."

y/n playfully rolls her eyes. "which you‘ll glady give her, i assume?"

karina hesitantly nods, a smile falling from her lips.

"well, i guess i‘ll be going out tonight.." y/n gets up, going towards her vanity to take her hair out of its pink claw clip, running her cream colour brush through her soft locks.

"maybe you could help out heeseung, hm?" karina goaded y/n.

y/n turned to karina with an unamused look, still brushing her hair. "never. i have better things i could do…" y/n trailed off, her expression softening when she realises that was a total lie. she really put her academics over everything, and outside of karina had a social life of almost zero.

"we both know that’s not true, y/n," spoke karina as if she were reading y/n‘s mind.

karina scoots, now sitting on the edge of her bed. "come on, y/n—you don’t have to fuck him, but you can fuck around with him, right? it‘ll be fun!"

y/n thinks for a moment, considering karina‘s words. "but i‘m not seductive—i wouldn’t know what to do! i can’t flirt.." y/n covers her face slightly, brush still in hand.

karina snickers. "y/n, he‘s already come onto you and gotten a piece of your attitude. if he didn’t want you, would he have approached you? think about it! you don’t have to be some master of seduction to woo heeseung."

y/n removed her hands, knowing deep down karina was right.

"but…i don’t know…how do i do something like that?"

"easy." karina smirks. "remember what i did to that guy dylan?"

y/n nods, intrigued. "lead heeseung on?"

"similar to that. tonight, you head over to his dorm—look cute but not too cute to where he knows you put in that effort for him. tell him that you‘re going to take him up on his offer, come inside and do some work." karina stands up, getting really into describing her plan. "let him tease you; get bold, tease him back…let him touch you, make you feel good, but only! only you get to feel good. as soon as he thinks he‘s getting what he wants…you‘re going to get up and leave, hm? he‘ll be wondering what the hell happened…and he‘ll yearn for you evermore." karina shrugs. "the rest is up to you."

god, y/n wondered why she was suddenly so excited.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

after contacting a mutual friend she and heeseung shared, karina was able to track down where heeseung‘s dorm was, making y/n realise just how real this happening all is.

and so with a five minute walk, y/n had her hair down and pin straight, wearing a matching baby pink, tightly knit matching set, hugging her body just right, her hips swaying so perfectly as she strutted down heeseung‘s hallway in her little ugg slides. with a tiny knock on his door, y/n took little breaths to calm her nerves. *you‘re not going all the way…* she had to remember.

after a small moment, y/n was greeted with heeseung‘s delicate face, a flirtatious smile forming on his lips as his eyes wandered over her.

"so you did want to see me afterall, y/n.." heeseung gazed at y/n‘s beautiful face, she was so stunning even without makeup…just curled lashes and clear lip gloss was all she needed to sparkle.

heeseung leaned against his doorway, his biceps flexed against the frame as he gestured y/n to come in.

without reacting to any of heeseung‘s words, y/n came into heeseung‘s dorm, surprised he was alone and without his friends or a hookup laying in his bed.

she stood near his desk as heeseung strode over to her, sitting at the chair paired with his desk.

"sorry, love…i have no extra chairs." heeseung sighs in mock apology.

"it‘s okay, i‘ll just stand," y/n politely smiles, placing her off-white shoulder bag on his desk, pulling out homework material.

heeseungs tsks, gently placing his hands on y/n‘s hips, gartering her attention.

"or you could always just sit on my lap.." heeseung toyed with the hem of y/n‘s pants, but she quickly smacked his veiny hand away.

"i‘m good." she gave a smug grin when she saw heeseung‘s slightly taken aback expression. he let out a small sigh, clearly growing frustrated.

"you‘re so uptight, you know that?" heeseung leaned back, his tone not angry but teasing.

y/n turned her body to face herseung. "oh yeah?" she placed a hand on her hip with a raised brow.

"yeah. you should relax. don’t you have a vibrator or something? i heard that can help…" he snickers at her shocked reaction.

"i don’t use those things—you‘re so crude!"

"ah..so your hands aren’t doing the job right?"

y/n feels her face heat up, blush creeping onto her cheeks.

"what i do isn’t your business, heeseung."

y/n‘s voice was firm, arms now crossed.

heeseung held up his hands in a surrendering motion, his legs much more visible to show off his manspread.

"you‘re right, you‘re right. i‘m just trying to offer my word of advice to a woman in need.."

y/n rolls her eyes. "i‘m here to teach you, heeseung! keep this up and you won’t get anything." she bends down so she is eye-level with the black haired boy, her eyes meeting his clearly turned on gaze. her voice was brash, and authoritative, her finger pointing at heeseung, her acrylic fingernail poking his solid chest every few words.

heeseung slightly bit his lip once he caught a glimpse down y/n‘s tight little jacket, her cleavage in perfect view. heeseung could only swallow, trying to not make it super obvious where his eyes were locked.

and lucky for him, y/n didn’t seem to notice as she stood back up, towering over heeseung‘s sitting figure.

"sit on my lap and i‘ll be good, hm? i‘ll leave you alone my dear y/n.." heeseung speaks quietly, gently patting his thigh.

y/n hesitates, thinking about karina‘s words—to just tease…make yourself feel good, then leave when he thinks he‘s getting something…

with those words in mind, y/n slowly lowers her round ass onto heeseung‘s thigh, sitting sideways on his lap. his hands immediately gripped y/n‘s waist, slowly caressing her slim sides up and down, fingertips ever so slightly reaching under her little jacket, gliding over her soft, bear skin. she shivered, the foreign feeling of his hands on her ignited something small within her. but she shakes any thoughts of pleasure out from her head, pulling out homework material from her bag, flipping through annotated packets and mindlessly organising them, just trying to distract herself from heeseung‘s hands trailing further up her torso.

"you almost done..?" heeseung asks quietly, his warm breath against y/n as he moved her hair away from her neck, whispering against the soft skin. y/n quivered, letting go of the packets she held. y/n nodded, clearing her throat as she adjusted herself on heeseung‘s lap. she heard a low groan fall from his lips, and she spun her head around with a small gasp, not believing what her ears just heard.

"did you just…?"

"yeah..sorry.." heeseung faintly whispered, sounding like he was holding something back. "that felt nice.." heeseung squeezed y/n‘s sides placidly, like he was giving her a massage.

y/n blinked in response for a moment before she practically scoffed, her assertive facade coming back to her. "fucking horndog…" she whispers, looking heeseung up and down like he was a vermon.

heeseung‘s grip tightened, groping her sides more aggressively in response, sucking in air through his teeth. "yeahhh…just for you, babe." heeseung chuckled breathily to himself.

y/n rolls her eyes, swatting heeseung‘s arm. "and every other girl you make eye contact with. surprised you don’t have an std by now.."

heeseung faintly flinched at y/n‘s little swat, not used to a woman defying him like this. but he didn’t mind. in fact, heeseung likes a chase sometimes.

"it’s called condoms, dude. i don’t go raw on anyone," he lets out that same chuckle from earlier.

"heeseung, i really don’t care," y/n retors, smacking his head with a packet. "now are you going to let me teach you or are you going to touch me all over this whole time?"

heeseung raises a brow, locking eyes with the girl on his lap. "i thought you were doing my assignments for me, babe. remember our deal?"

y/n shakes her head. "i pride myself in my teaching abilities. and i don’t want to fuck you.."

"oh come on, y/n. you‘re almost twenty and you‘re still a virgin…why not lose it?"

"how do you know i‘m a virgin..?" y/n‘s brows furrow in confusion.

"remember earlier in mr. glenn‘s tutoring session? i can just tell. you‘re so fucking uptight."

y/n makes a face similar to disgust. "being an uptight virgin is better than being a chill fucking whore like you."

heeseung only tittered, not offended by y/n‘s remark. "you don’t wanna loosen up?" he pulled y/n closer towards his body.

"not with you…" her voice grows quiet when she feels heeseung‘s arm wrap around her waist, hand snaking down, closer towards her pussy, his fingers trailing the hem of her tight little knit flare leggings that matched her cropped jacket.

her breath hitches as her back is now pressed up against heeseung‘s firm chest, both her legs straddling his left thigh, her ass cheek pressed against his growing erection.

a soft hum leaves y/n‘s lips when heeseung‘s fingers grow braver and dip into y/n‘s pants, middle finger gently pressing down on y/n‘s clit, applying just enough pressure to form a wet patch in y/n‘s panties which didn’t go unnoticed by heeseung, a smirk forming on his lips.

"you sure you don’t want my help?" heeseung snickers, his finger sliding down to feel the warm wetness in y/n‘s panties.

but y/n knew she couldn’t give in. y/n was smarter than to cave in to heeseung‘s smart talk and skilled hands. so she suppressed her moan and reluctantly grabbed heeseung‘s wrist, pulling his hand away from her pussy. she stood up and calmly grabbed her bag and packets, turning to face heeseung, who was visibly confused.

y/n could only smirk satisfactory with heeseung‘s reaction to rejection.

"clearly we aren’t on the same page, heeseung. i‘m leaving now—if you really want my help, get those hormones in check. maybe fuck a girl on your roster before seeing me." y/n politely smiles in contrast to her passive aggressive tone. and saying no more, y/n leaves heeseung‘s dorm, leaving him sitting there, absolutely dumbfounded a girl has actually rejected his advances. he watched y/n‘s figure stride away and leave before he ran his fingers through his hair, chuckling quietly to himself.

that was the first time heeseung didn’t get any action with a girl in his place, and the first time a girl seemed to hold zero attraction to him; and the very first time a girl challenged him, and made him want her more. y/n was more of a chase then heeseung thought. luckily for him he was determined, and a fast runner.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

y/n swung open the door to her dormitory, adrenaline rushing through her veins. she looked over at karina‘s bed and spotted the woman laying down with yunjin under the covers, and it was very apparent the two just slept together. she wasn’t taken aback, however. she had already knew the two would be together tonight.

y/n shook karina awake, not caring if she were naked or not. both karina and yunjin awoke, slightly startled at y/n‘s franticness. before either of the lovers could say anything, y/n spoke up.

"i did it! i did it—but there was barely any action, he sat me on his lap and tried touching my pussy but i left before much could happen!" y/n sounded a bit freaked out with a hint of excitement.

"who is she talking about..?" said yunjin groggily, rubbing her wide eyes.

"heeseung.." yawned karina. "y/n, that‘s good! you‘re probably the first girl in a long time to leave him hanging like that. best him at his own game, hm?" karina smiled, leaning up on her elbows.

y/n‘s face scrunches in slight frustration. "i know…but i‘m just..." she throws her bag down on her bed that‘s only a few feet from karina‘s.

"i‘m glad i did it…it was fun…but—i‘m just…" she sits down on her bed, looking at karina and yunjin. "i don’t know what comes next.."

yunjin and karina exchanged glances before karina speaks up. "you know what happens next?" y/n‘s face grows curious. karina continues. "you wait. you wait for him to chase you…and you‘re going to make him fall for you. and once he does…you leave him for good."

yunjin smirks. "damn karina, what‘d he do to you?"

"nothing. we‘re just bored.." karina looks back at yunjin, but there’s a hint of something beyond playfulness in her eyes.

and with that y/n went to sleep that night, unaware of just how much she had lee heeseung wrapped around her finger.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

one week later — psychology class. the only class y/n shared with lee heeseung.

y/n sat in her usual seat, putting down her bag under her feet after pulling out all her materials. she laid her tired head on her hand, analysing her notes from the last lecture.

and there was heeseung who came in early for once. he was always late (if he even decided to show up, that is), but this time he made sure he was there so he could score a spot next to the beautiful girl who left him so empty that night.

y/n was all that consumed heeseung‘s mind this past week. he didn’t want to be one to admit it, but heeseung hated how she had this effect on him all from not giving him what he wanted. his only goal in mind was to make y/n give in and fall in love with him, then run away just as he did to every other girl…because how dare this little tease leave him empty? nobody defies the lee heeseung like that.

it was only a matter of seconds before heeseung‘s eyes landed on his target. seeing y/n‘s beautiful, long hair flowing over her shoulder and her plump lips pouting in concentration, her slim legs crossed, her grey fold over leggings hugging her body perfectly, the little flare at the end hanging over her cute little winter boots that encased her bouncing feet. her little pink tank top form fitted her torso, causing her chest catch heeseung‘s attention immediately, making him think back to when he got that lovely glimpse down her top that night last week.

and with nothing else on his mind, determination set in and heeseung b-lined it towards the seat empty next to y/n, as more people started to fill the room.

y/n was slightly startled when an obstinate heeseung plopped himself down next to her, his eyes narrowed in on y/n‘s alarmed expression.

"missed me?" heeseung smirks, his voice laced with smugness.

"god you scared me…" y/n placed her hand over her heart. "but no, i didn’t miss you, heeseung."

heeseung leans in a bit closer, his big black jacket scrunching. "call me hee. everyone else does."

y/n shakes her head, her face going back to her notes. "i‘m alright, we‘re not close enough for me to give you a nickname."

heeseung scoffs, changing the subject to the point he originally wanted to talk about.

"why did you leave that night?"

y/n held back a smirk at the hint of desperation in heeseung‘s voice. the question alone enough to make her want to giggle in satisfaction.

"you were being unprofessional, heeseung. i was there to help tutor you, not have sex with you." her tone was pretty deadpan in contrast to the excitement growing inside of her at the thought heeseung was currently chasing after her.

"i could have made you feel good," heeseung says as he leans back in his chair, his hand coming up to play with strands of y/n‘s hair.

y/n ignores him, flipping through pages in her notebook.

"you‘re not any different from these other girls, you know…you‘re not special." his voice grew annoyed.

"what?" y/n turned her head to the side, her irritated expression apparent.

heeseung’s facial expression seemed satisfied at how he was getting under y/n‘s skin. "you‘re not special for not wanting me, y/n…" heeseung leans closer, his hand still on y/n‘s head. faces inches apart, heeseung‘s voice held somewhat of a threatening tone. "…because i‘ll make you want me." an intimidating smile played on heeseung‘s face, his eyes full of malice.

y/n slightly backed up, a small amount of real fear stirring in her chest.

"you‘re crazy…" her voice automatically came out a whisper, her eyes darting all around his face.

he leaned in and quickly pecked y/n‘s cheeks with his lips, his expression now softened, almost affectionate.

"only for you…" and as the psychology teacher mrs. danbury walked in, heeseung settled down along with the rest of the class, acting as if nothing happened.

y/n stayed taken a bit aback, her mind wandering off from the lesson every so often, thinking off heeseung‘s words.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

as class came to an end, heeseung stood up, standing next to y/n‘s sitting figure, and as she rose to walk out of the classroom, she was abruptly stopped by heeseung‘s tall body standing in front of her.

she didn’t need to speak. her confused face was all heeseung needed to start explaining.

"let me take you out." heeseung‘s voice was smooth.

"um…where?" y/n crossed her arms.

"there’s a little café down the street, hm? wanna go there?"

y/n thought for a moment, realising she could use this as an attempt for heeseung to truly fall for her.

"i mean…i am kinda hungry i guess." y/n shrugs, walking passed heeseung. "let’s go."

heeseung grabs y/n‘s wrist, forcing her to come back. he interlocked his fingers with hers, then continued walking.

"people are going to think we‘re a thing if you’re holding my hand…" y/n‘s eyes darted from their intertwined hands then up to heeseung, who only smirked.

"if we‘re together in general people are going to think we‘re a thing." he smirked down at the girl walking with him.

y/n rolled her eyes, "that’s not exactly what i want…i can‘t be seen as one of your little rotations."

heeseung put on a playfully hurt expression.

"that’s really all you think of me, huh? just some fuckboy?"

y/n nodded. "pretty much!" she shot him a soft smile, feigning affection.

heeseung only snickered in response, but when his own umber eyes looked into y/n‘s he couldn’t help but notice just how pretty she was as the sun beamed down on her skin.

entering the café, y/n took note of the strong smell of sweets and coffee blending together in the air, the other university students sitting inside studying under the dimly lit lights, creating a cozy atmosphere, perfect for a break after a day of long, draining university classes.

"this place is so cute…" y/n looked around at the wood panel walls, the faux candles lit all around and the large bookshelf next to the entryway, adding to the library-esq vibe of the café.

heeseung smiled at y/n‘s reaction, her look of awe causing him to feel a small little butterfly in his stomach, but he quickly swatted it away.

"you‘re paying, you invited me out." y/n points at heeseung as she walked up to the register to order, him trailing not too far behind.

"yes, ma‘am," heeseung teased, pulling out his wallet.

"can i have a caramel frappuccino with tapioca pearls, please?" y/n asked in her sweet voice—sounding just like honey.

"i‘ll just have a taro milk tea." said heeseung as he pulled out his credit card.

the cashier said dryly, "that‘ll be $13.85."

and as heeseung inserted his card, y/n slyly peaked over to get a good look at it, which didn’t go unnoticed by heeseung. he just let out a confused laugh. "what‘re you lookin‘ at?"

"your credit card number," replied y/n truthfully. "you said it was your goal to make me like you, and gift giving is my love language." y/n closed her eyes, placing her hands on her chest as she softly swayed her body side to side.

heeseung gently nudged y/n. "yeah, yeah, don’t get too ahead of yourself."

and as their boba was ready, y/n quickly grabbed her drink, placed the baby blue straw inside and immediately took a sip, reveling in the sweet, caramel flavour going down her throat. with a satisfied mmm sound, she started walking towards the door, leaving heeseung in a state of confusion.

"where are you going?" heeseung questioned, his brow slightly raised.

"i‘m going back to the dorm. you took me out like you wanted." y/n shrugged slightly.

"you know i‘m getting real tired of asking you that." heeseung smirked, sipping his tea.

y/n only smiled facetiously. "then give me a reason to stay." and with nothing else, y/n walked out, leaving heeseung once more dumbfounded.

and heeseung didn’t like this pattern he saw forming.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

y/n didn’t walk back to her dorm, though. she was going to hang out with karina at the mall. pulling out her baby pink iphone, y/n clicked karina‘s contact to come ask her to pick her up.

"where you at hoe?" joked y/n as soon as karina picked up.

karina laughed. "at yunjin‘s dorm. i‘m leaving now. where are you?" y/n could hear rustling on the other end.

"near that little café by school—i think it’s called makoko." y/n paused to look at the street name. "i‘m working the corner of rochester street. come pick me up when i‘m done with my next client."

karina playfully rolled her eyes at y/n‘s joke, her car‘s startup engine roaring in the background. "i‘ll be there soon. split some of that cash with me, hm?"

"of course. love ya!" y/n blew a kiss to her phone and karina reciprocated.

opening up instagram to kill time, y/n stood, leaning against the wall of a building while she waited for her best friend.

scrolling mindlessly, mind lost in the depths of liking her favourite celebrities‘ posts and judging her mutuals stories, she hardly noticed a tall male figure approach her rather menacingly.

"all alone?" the deep voice startled y/n, his tone callousing and scary. y/n slightly jumped back, her eyes suspiciously scanning the man up and down. but y/n doesn’t play with scary men like this.

"no, i‘m with somebody. your scary ass can leave now." she spoke sternly, taking slow backwards steps away from the dark haired man.

"i don’t see no one," the man smirked his big lips, a look of lust shining through his eyes as he stepped intimidatingly closer to y/n, following her.

"fuck off nasty ass hoe i don’t know who you think you are because i will rock your shit if you try something!" warned y/n with a fist forming, holding it up in the air like she was going to pop him in his face.

but before the creepy man could vocalise his thoughts, another male came up from behind him and punched the side of his head, making him stumble over, a gasp of shock leaving y/n‘s mouth upon seeing not only the violent action—but the person assaulting the creep—who was…heeseung?

"heeseung wh—" y/n was going to ask him why he was here, why he was defending her—but was overpowered by his aggressive shouting at the big, now less taunting man who was harassing her only moments ago.

"who the fuck do you think you are, hm!?" hesseung yells through gritted teeth, blowing punch after punch, blow after blow onto the man who was laying on the ground, his arms over his face in a defensive manner.

"keep your hands off her and your fucking mouth shut!" heeseung was practically seething at this point, his fists nowhere but the man‘s now bloody face.

y/n wasn’t going to tell heeseung to back off the man—if anything the man deserved it. so she watched from the sidelines, patiently observing, waiting for heeseung to finish.

and for a few more moments, after punching and kicking heeseung spat on the man‘s face as if he were a flithy vermon (which in any sane person‘s mind, including heeseung, that’s what he was equivalent to.)

heeseung marched towards y/n, his face still appearing angry. he aggressively gripped

y/n‘s wrist, yanking her, forcing her to follow heeseung from behind as he angrily started walking.

"in broad fucking daylight, is he insane?"

heeseung scoffed, talking mainly to himself, but y/n could hear.

"heeseung where are you taking me?" she slightly winced at the tight grip he held on her wrist.

"back to your dorm. where i thought you were going." heeseung‘s voice was practically a growl.

"heeseung—i have a ride i was waiting for to go to the mall. i can handle myself." y/n says as she tries to yank her wrist away from heeseung, but his grip only grew tighter.

"clearly you can’t. i wonder what would have happened to you if i hadn’t stepped in, hm?"

y/n only rolls her eyes in disbelief at heeseung‘s words.

"now give me your phone." heeseung holds out his hand towards y/n, still not looking at her.

"why?" she questions, visibly hesitant.

"just—just give it to me. or i‘ll take it myself." there was no indication heeseung was kidding in his tone. so y/n handed the boy in the grey hoodie her phone after opening it, and he went straight to her calls. he clicked on someone’s name before speaking,

"karina?" his tone stayed firm. "yeah, it’s heeseung. look, you‘re the one giving y/n a ride, yeah?" he paused, letting karina respond. "‘kay. i‘m taking y/n to that park not too far from campus. the one everyone hangs out at—pick her up there. something happened she can explain to you later." and without another word, heeseung hung up before opening y/n‘s contacts, adding a number. he handed y/n back her phone, open on the page of the brand new contact.

"my number," he spoke, tone softening slightly. "just to call or text me if anything else like this happens.." heeseung‘s voice held a hint of what y/n could be mistaking as affection…but there was a little bit of something other than coldness. almost like his reasoning was some excuse. she only nodded, murmuring a thank you as they arrived at the park everyone usually hangs out, called "the hill."

heeseung sat down on a cold, metal bench, y/n sitting close to him.

he immediately cupped y/n‘s face, tilting her head in every direction possible, eyes narrowing in on her soft features like he was analysing her. before y/n could protest, he asked, "are you okay? if he laid as much as a single finger on you, y/n, i‘m promising you i‘ll go back there and kill him with my bare hands."

y/n shook her head, a bit taken aback by heeseung‘s sudden protectiveness. her dainty hands stayed with a silent grip on heeseung‘s wrists that softly held her face.

"you should have let me take you home—i should have offered…i‘m so sorry, y/n…" heeseung adverted his gaze from the girl, guilt oozing from his voice.

"it’s alright, really," y/n started with a calm voice, her thumbs rubbing soft, soothing circles on the inside of heeseung‘s wrists, "nothing happened to me." she put on a soft, comforting smile, but it quickly faded when heeseung snapped.

"because i stepped in! y/n who knows what that guy was planning!?" he takes a deep breath to calm himself, voice struggling to stay steady. "what if he hurt you, hm? i don’t…i don’t want that to happen to you." his gaze lingered on y/n, his thumbs caressing the sides of y/n‘s face he was still holding.

"since when have you…" y/n pauses, trying to find the right words. "since when have you cared like that? about anyone?"

heeseung scoffed, his tone coming out offended. "just because i like to fuck around doesn’t make me a bad person, y/n—i would have stepped in and saved any girl that was happening to." his dark brown eyes lock with y/n‘s as if he was searching for something in the pools of her irises. "but you‘re the first girl i‘d go to this length for. the first one i have gone to this length for…if you were anyone else i would have just walked away as soon as i pulled that guy off you."

"why?" was all the stunned girl could manage to get out, her brows furrowed in more curiosity than confusion.

"there’s something about you, i‘ll admit. like a magnet that pulls me in. partly because you left me hanging last week—but just…" heeseung sighs. "the way you don’t want me—it makes me want you even more."

y/n simply laughs. "is this why you‘re being so nice to me?"

heeseung nodded.

"it’s a nice try, heeseung. but you‘re going to have to try a lot harder than give me some speech you‘ve given all your other flings."

and as if she were saved by the bell, y/n saw karina‘s little white toyota pull up to the car, a small honk coming from the vehicle catching both heeseung‘s and y/n‘s attention. she removed heeseung‘s wrists from her face and stood up.

"where are you going?" heeseung wondered, a hint of what almost seemed like panic laced in his voice.

"that really is all you ask me, huh?" y/n teased before walking off towards karina‘s car.

and with another sigh, heeseung slipped his hands into the pockets of his jeans, and slid down the bench so his neck was resting on the edge as he looked up to the blue sky.

it had only been a week since they met and this damn girl already had him wrapped around her finger.

what‘s wrong with him?

[flemingology]

“i might hate you, but i couldn’t bare the thought of you spending christmas alone” for leah williamson

christmas confessions ─ leah williamson x reader

part of my christmas series. full masterlist here!

in which: your christmas plans are interrupted by the british weather conditions, leading to some unexpected confessions from your arsenal vice-captain

warnings: none

wc: 3.7k

A snowstorm. Of all things that could go wrong, a snowstorm was the one that seemed to put a hold on your Christmas plans.

Recently having transferred from Lyon to Arsenal, you'd gotten your head down and focussed on your football. Normally, you'd go home every couple weeks just to be back with your family, but with your recent move you wanted to make sure you secured your spot in the starting eleven. You worked relentlessly hard for weeks on end, not allowing yourself a break, and you were proud of yourself. Really, really proud. Your football journey hadn't been the nicest one yet – your academy years littered with injuries and setbacks, you were over the moon to have finally settled in Arsenal's starting eleven. But you were starting to feel the effects of your hard work, and you started feeling like you needed some time away. To be with your friends and family back home.

Finally, though, the winter break arrived. You had wrapped up the final training session of the calendar year a couple days ago, and you were now set to go home. A couple days, just the last week of the year, before you'd go back to England. A short flight, setting to depart at 3pm, arriving at a little before 5. Your parents would pick you up from the airport and you'd go for dinner, have a drink, before all going back to your childhood home and just enjoying each other's company. But that was without taking England's horrendous winter weather into accord.

It had been horrible the whole week. Freezing cold, snow and rain all throughout the week – it had already caused you a bunch of trouble in trying to get to the grounds in time, but you completely forgot that air traffic could also be affected by the weather. So here you were, in Heathrow, staring at the departure screen as flight after flight got cancelled. Not delayed, not moved, cancelled.

Left stranded, you called the first person you always went to when struggling, needing to rant about the situation.

—

Alessia was spending her Wednesday afternoon the same way she had done for the past 2 years since making her move to Arsenal; getting coffee and a pastry with Leah. The two blondes had grown closer since Alessia made the move to London, their friendship no longer held back by the distance between Manchester and the British capital.

It was nice, their little routine. Football training that day or not, they'd find themselves in a different coffee shop every week to try out their blends, or in Leah's case, their hot chocolate or tea. They would talk about anything and everything, catching each other up on whatever hadn't been said yet at the Arsenal training grounds.

The pair were happily chatting away over a coffee and a mint tea as Alessia's ringtone went off. The striker checked the caller ID and excused herself to Leah, answering the call. She knew you were meant to be on your flight right now, so for you to be calling there must be something wrong. "Y/n? Aren't you supposed to be-"

"Less, my flight got cancelled! The weather has gotten too bad in the past couple hours and everything's been cancelled. I've asked whether it can be rescheduled, but there's nothing free anymore this week. The next available flight was January 2nd, which is a joke! I don't know what I'm supposed to do right now, my family have been preparing for me to come over for the past couple days and I don't want to disappoint them. I just, I don't know-"

"Hey, hey, y/n, take a breath, it's okay." Alessia tried to calm you down, sensing your nerves through the phone. She shot Leah a look, who was sporting a confused frown. "The situation is out of your hands, love. You can't do anything about it. I know it sucks." Alessia heard you sigh on the other end of the call, probably feeling quite defeated over the whole situation. "I know you've been looking forward to seeing your family. As soon as everything's cleared again, we'll get you on the first plane to Germany. I promise you that. Football be damned."

You chuckled on the other end of the call, and Alessia was glad you managed to muster up a small smile. "Yeah, I guess. Thanks, Less." "Don't mention it. I'm here for you, you know that. Do you need me to come pick you up from the airport?" Alessia knew you packed quite heavily and it was going to be a chore to get all of your stuff into a taxi. "No, that's fine. I think I'm gonna sit down and have a coffee here, calm down a bit, and then call a cab. I'll be fine."

Alessia reluctantly agreed, only after having you promise that you'd call her if you needed her help, or if anything went wrong. She finished up the phone call a couple moments later and put her phone back into her pocket with a deep sigh. "She's gutted."

Leah cocked her eyebrows and let the silence linger a little longer, taking a sip from her hot chocolate. "You don't have to pretend with me, you know?" Alessia added. Confusion shot across the defender's face at her words. "What do you mean by that?" The younger girl chuckled and shook her head slightly. "Leah, I know why you're distant with her. But you don't have to be that way when she's not around, god she's at Heathrow Airport of all places. You can let your guard down."

Leah took a deep breath and set her cup down, visibly struggling with how to proceed with the conversation. "I don't know, Less. I just feel like if I don't talk about it, it'll go away. I know I'm being unreasonable, but I'm just protecting myself. I don't want to go through all that hassle again. Last time I dated someone in the work field, it didn't work out. I don't wanna put myself through that again."

"Who's talking about dating, Leah? I know you like her. I'm not saying you have to voice that, but you could at least be civil with the girl. She's overthinking it like mad. She asks me all the time whether she did something wrong. And she's nervous about it, seen as you're the vice-captain at Arsenal too. She thinks you don't like her and is scared she's gonna lose her spot on the team because of that. All I'm asking of you is a little human decency, to treat her like you treat other people."

Leah looked down and started fidgeting with the rings around her fingers. "Yeah, I don't know, maybe." Alessia put her hand on Leah's causing the defender to look up. "It's okay. Just don't be a dick, okay? It's not because you don't have one that you have to be one."

—

When you arrived home a couple hours later that day, suitcases still packed in the corner of the living room, sprawled out over your couch, her caller ID was the last one you'd expected to pop up on your screen.

Leah Williamson.

You sighed deeply and rubbed your hands down your face, not feeling like dealing with whatever your Arsenal teammate wanted to scold you about now. She was probably rewatching a game and felt the need to lecture you about all the things you did wrong, and you weren't in the mood for that. You were her defensive partner after all, and you knew damn well she had high standards, not only for herself but also for others, but it was the winter break after all. Tactics be damned.

You let the call run out, breathing a sigh of relief and settled back into the couch, impatiently waiting for sleep to take over to rid you of your foul mood. Not on Leah's watch, though. No more than a couple seconds had passed before you ringtone sounded through the living room again. Wanting to get it over with so you could get some rest, you decided to pick up.

"What's the deal, Williamson? I'd like to enjoy my break, if I'm allowed? You can lecture me all you want when we're back at the club." You knew you were being curt, maybe slightly unreasonable, but your heightened emotions combined with how the defender had treated you ever since you joined Arsenal made you snap.

"Hey, hey, chill, I'm not calling to lecture you, y/n. God, do you think I'm some fucking loser who does nothing but think about football on their break?"

You didn't like the way this conversation was going, despite only having spoken a couple sentences to one another. You sat up and rubbed a hand down the side of your neck, closing your eyes as you slowly inhaled and exhaled – trying to calm yourself.

"Sorry. My mistake. Why are you calling?"

You heard shuffling on the other end of the phone, the rustling of what sounded like a jacket and shoes being taken off. Of course. Coffee with Less. She probably overheard your conversation with her earlier.

"I was just with Less," she started. Bingo. "and I heard about your cancelled flight. I'm sorry, I know you were looking forward to seeing your family."

You weren't quite used to this sentiment coming from Leah, the England captain having barely said a civil word to you ever since you joined her childhood club. It's not like you didn't speak, it's just that she made it seem like a chore every time she had to string a conversation together with you on the receiving end. Short, blunt, curt, sometimes outright disrespectful. You'd learned to accept that not everybody was always going to like you, but the least you'd expect from people was some basic human decency – something you thought Leah lacked sometimes.

You audibly sighed. "Yeah, it's crap. But I'll be fine. Now that you got that over with, what's the real reason?"

You heard a quiet snicker coming from the other end of the call, struggling to see what was so funny about your conversation. "There's no... other reason, y/n. I just wanted to call and check in. You know, defensive partner and all, just calling to make sure you're not drowning in self-pity."

You could hear the smile that tugged at her lips as she spoke out those final couple words. "Well, thanks, I guess? Thanks for checking in. Have a good rest of your night, Leah." You lowered the phone and were about to end the call, wanting nothing more than to fall back in the cosy bundle of pillows and blankets you'd set up for yourself.

"Oi, wait! I wasn't done!" You grumbled something incoherently under your breath before bringing the phone back to your ear. "I'm listening."

"This is gonna sound really weird, I know, but just let me speak. I was wondering if, if maybe you, you know-" A couple moments of silence followed and you were about to speak up, but Leah interrupted those plans. "If, you know, if you were free to come spend Christmas Eve with me?"

You frowned, taking a moment to gather your thoughts. Leah Williamson, Arsenal teammate, who to your best knowledge absolutely despised you, is inviting you for Christmas Eve? A joke.

"Uhm, I guess, well-" You didn't get much further than that before the blonde's voice interrupted you. "Look, I know how it sounds. You're probably thinking I'm just doing this out of pity and sympathy, you know captain things and all that, but that's not it. I don't have plans, yours have been cancelled, let's spend it together."

If you weren't so caught up in your own thoughts, you would've noticed the slight waver in Leah's voice. She was beyond nervous on the other side of the phone. You'd never said this much to each other in such a short space of time, let alone the contents of what was being discussed. You'd never willingly been in the same room. If not for bonding nights, you'd probably never see Leah outside of the Arsenal training grounds.

You didn't get it, though. You'd spent countless nights wracking your brain as to why Leah would treat you like she did. But you blanked every single time. It gnawed on you. You wanted her to respect you, to acknowledge you, to treat you like she treated others. But she made that seem like the worst thing in the world. Unimaginable, even.

"So?" Leah's voice broke up your train of thoughts and you scrambled together a response without really thinking about what you were saying. "Uhm, sure. I guess. Yeah. Just text me the logistics and I'll be there." You didn't really feel like going, but you also didn't want to give Leah more reason to not speak to you. And in all honesty, you wanted the conversation to be over so you could finally get some sleep.

"Oh! Okay! Yeah, okay, that's great. Thanks. Okay. I'll text you. You text me too, okay? I'll see you then."

Your own goodbyes got interrupted by the tone of the call ending, a confused frown etched on your face at how nervous Leah had suddenly seemed. Not wanting to give it much more thought, you turned off your phone's ringer and threw it on the coffee table, finally drowning yourself in a very well-deserved sleep.

—

Tuesday night, December 24th. 5:23pm. Approximately one hour left until you had to be at Leah's. Of all people, Leah's. When you caught Alessia up about the plans the two of you had made, she reacted slightly suspicious. So much so that you thought she had a hand in it, but she quickly reassured you that was not at all the case. Still, she didn't seem surprised. If anything, she thought it was good. An opportunity for the two of you to just start all over again.

You couldn't lie, that sounded good to you too. You wanted to be friends with Leah, but you also wouldn't just forget how she treated you during your first couple months at Arsenal. That's not something you could forgive and forget through a pity invitation to spend Christmas Eve together.

Yet, you found yourself struggling to find something to wear. You wanted to dress nice, but not too nice, because you're just two friends spending the holidays together. Not lovers, not dating, god, probably not even friends. Teammates? Acquaintances, maybe. At best.

You finally settled on a light green dress. It complimented your body just right, accentuating your curves in all the right places but not too tight. You put on some light make-up and finished off your outfit with some accessories. You checked your appearance about twelve times in your full-body mirror in the living room, 'just to be sure', before eventually grabbing your car keys off the kitchen counter and exiting your apartment block. You debated walking to Leah's, it was a 10-minute walk tops, but that felt like putting too much trust in your pencil heels.

3 quick knocks on the door and a couple seconds later, you were met with a version of your defensive counterpart you'd never seen before. She was dressed in a pair of black slack pants, paired with a white button-up shirt. She had left the top two buttons open, offering a perfect view of the delicate golden necklace gracing her tanned skin. Definitely self-tanner, though, because God forbid the United Kingdom gets a sliver of sun anywhere past September – but you spare her the red cheeks by not pointing it out. Her hair was loose, falling graciously on her shoulders, a welcome change from the bun or ponytail she always had it in during training or games.

"Hey," you muttered, once you realized neither of you had said a word since Leah opened her front door. Unbeknownst to you, while you were eyeing her up, Leah also let her eyes glide over your figure, taking in your appearance. She thought you looked good. Really good. Too good for her own good. That good that she'd probably struggle to not mention it every 5 minutes, when conversation obviously dies down for the 30th time that evening. Because what does she talk about for hours with someone she always pretended to dislike?

Turns out, there's a lot to talk about. Uncomfortable silences? You two don't know those. And while it's been good, it's been comfortable and easy, you still felt quite apprehensive about the whole ordeal. And you could tell by Leah's body language that she was feeling similar to you. Conversation had been flowing easily, but it felt like you were just scratching the surface. Like there was something underneath that needed to be addressed, but neither of you felt like digging deep enough to be able to bring it up. If anything, you thought, that's Leah's job. After all, she was the one to invite you to spend Christmas Eve together after she spent months making you feel like she despised you.

And that's what she did. Eventually. After lots of coaxing and promises that you wouldn't be mad and you understood – you were quite mad and you definitely didn't understand – Leah finally mustered up the courage to talk to you about the past months.

She opened up about everything. How she'd been excited when she learned about your move to the club, at first. But when you came to visit the training grounds on your first day, that sentiment completely changed. Leah had always found you quite attractive, but that wasn't something that had to be dealt with seen as you were across the North Sea and not someone she had to deal with in her day-to-day life. So, even though nothing had been explored between the two of you, not even a single conversation strung together, she already started closing herself off.

She told you about how she kicked herself for it day after day, that she realized damn well how bad she was treating you. She knew that you didn't know where it came from, and that hurt her even more. She didn't want to hurt you, didn't want to treat you any less good than she did with the rest of her teammates, but she just couldn't let her guard down around you. Not with the way you looked, the way you carried yourself on and off the pitch, the way you worked so tirelessly to be the best version of yourself day after day after day. She admired you, really. But she didn't allow herself to feel that. To acknowledge that. To acknowledge you.

"I know it sounds stupid. Trust me, I know. You don't know how many nights I've laid awake just thinking about how poorly I was treating you. But I just couldn't bring myself to not do it. Because that would mean I'd eventually snap and just... tell you everything I've just told you."

You slowly nodded, not trusting your voice just yet after having just been quiet for what has been the best part of 20 minutes. You let her come to you, let her talk until she felt like she said it all, because you knew if you interrupted her she'd maybe forget things.

"And, for the record, I don't want anything in return from you. God, no, I just thought you deserved to know. And no, I didn't invite you out of pity tonight. I just saw an opportunity open up when I learned about your cancelled flight and I knew I had to take it. I couldn't let it go any longer and I needed to tell you. So hence, the invitation. I just hope I didn't ruin the rest of our night now, by confessing all of this."

You chuckled, slightly shaking your head before repositioning yourself a little on Leah's couch. You ran a hand through your hair and breathed out a shaky exhale, locking eyes with Leah as you looked back up at her.

"You're ridiculous, Leah. Honestly, I get it, I think, but treating me like that for this reason, is ridiculous. And I know you know it, but that doesn't mean that I can't tell you too, because-" Leah tried to interrupt you, probably to apologize again, but you held up your hand to signal that you weren't done speaking yet.

"Because, you made me feel like shit, Le. You made me feel like I wasn't worthy of that starting spot at Arsenal, despite knowing damn well that I was doing good in our backline. You made me feel like I didn't belong in the squad, like I did something wrong, like I did something to upset you. It was so conflicting, and it stressed me out. Real bad. It's not a nice feeling when your vice-captain doesn't like you. Or, rather, when you feel like your vice-captain doesn't like you. I know now that that wasn't the case, but that doesn't fix your case."

Leah looked down, fidgeting with her ring-clad fingers. You continued. "Look, Leah, it sucked. But now at least I know what was behind it. And I don't wanna keep being mad at you. Because truthfully, I want to be closer to you, closer with you. I wanna be treated like you treat other people, okay? We can explore whatever needs to be explored later, but first I just want us to be civil with each other."

The blonde defender looked up at you, hastily nodding when she realized you were waiting for some kind of response. "Yeah, yeah, god, yeah, that would be nice." She slightly stumbled over her words, trying to form coherent thoughts in a mind that was running at a 100 miles an hour. You scooted a little closer to her, closing a bit of the space that was between the both of you on the couch and slowly moved your hand closer to hers, that was laying dormant in her lap.

You searched her eyes for any uncertainty, concern, and then softly laid your hand on top of hers, giving it a slight squeeze. "Thank you for opening up," you said softly. "It means a lot to me. I know how you are with feelings." Leah twisted her hand and intertwined your fingers. "Thank you for listening. And thank you for giving me another chance. I promise I'll be better. Better for you."

"I know you will."

[saintzweig]

nsfw patrick zweig x camgirl!reader

–based on this blurb PART TWO HERE

– wrote this with 5 hours of sleep, not proofread because i'm lazy so i apologize in advance for the mistakes or if its shitty :3 wasn't actually going to write this but i couldn't stop thinking about it sooo

it was 3pm on a thursday, you were sat in your history class bored out of your mind. it was your last class of the week and it had only half an hour left but with the way your professor was droning on and on about god knows what, you couldn't wait to get out of here fast enough. 

you had a live scheduled in two hours, as well. you needed enough time to rest and freshen up before you turn your camera on. you did live cams anonymously on some sketchy website just to get by, a cam girl if you will. you grew up in a strict religious household so you've never thought you'd end up doing this but desperate times call for desperate measures, it was an easy way out of your financial problems. plus, if you were careful enough no one would have to find out. its not like you were going to do this forever, only until you graduate and find a job with a decent pay. by then, your account will be deleted and forgotten about, as if it never existed in the first place. 

your mindless scribbling was interrupted when your professor called your name. "l/n, zweig"

your head snapped up to the front and then to patrick zweig who sat two rows infront of you. 

"your presentation will be a week from now, your topic will be on the reconstruction. i expect you'll do a thorough research." 

you quickly wrote down the details as your professor dismissed the class, students rushing to get out of the room while you stayed behind to gather your things. before you knew it, patrick stood infront of you. his backpack slinging over one shoulder and his hands in his pockets. 

you didn't know patrick zweig, you knew of him. a great, cocky tennis player who was supposed to go pro after juniors but his friends, art and tashi, convinced him to accept his standford offer. so he'll have something to fall back on if things don't go to plan. 

you've heard people talk about him, how he's reckless in his plays yet he keeps winning. how he doesn't do anything in class yet he keeps passing. you had to stop yourself from sighing in front of him, is he going to make you do everything? 

"y/n, right?" you've never heard him talk before, atleast not anywhere near you so you were surprised that his voice sounded ... attractive. you took this time to actually look at him, he wore a plain white shirt and denim jeans, which isn't much but he made it look so good. his face was slightly scruffy, his nose statuesque and his pink lips was pulled into a slight smirk. you had no idea why his appearance made your heart beat faster than normal. 

the two of you discussed when to meet, deciding to do the work in your dorm every other day during his free time. so now, on friday evening, you were sat on your desk working on the outline for your project as you wait for him to arrive. 

not long after, there was a knock on your door and patrick entered in his tennis attire, carrying his equipment. "a single room?" he asked with his eyebrow raised, taking in the sight of your room. the white walls adorned with tapestry and posters, your bed covered in a pink bedding and your desk was cluttered with your study materials. 

"i got lucky" you sat on your chair as he settled on your bed, laying on his back in exhaustion. there was something familiar about your room, he just couldn't put his finger on it. has he been here before? did the two of you hook up and he had just forgotten about it? or maybe it's because most dorms look the same, it's probably just similar to tashi's. he put the thought on the back of his mind as you started to discuss your project with him. 

it went surprisingly well the first day, although patrick was stubborn, he knew he couldn't just skip on this project because he'll end up having to do it alone so he decided doing it with you now was the better option. the next day, he got too comfortable that he's so easily distracted. you started bribing him with his own pack of cigarettes, taking it from his hands and putting it under your thigh as the two of you sat across from each other on your bed. 

it was a little difficult to work with him, considering he's not so good at studying but it was fun, you had fun with him. he made jokes that you tried to keep a straight face on but end up laughing so hard your cheeks were starting to hurt. he keeps trying to flirt with you too, which just ends up with you scowling at him and slapping his arm. 

and as soon as he left, you turned your camera on and positioned yourself on your bed. normally, you would only strip and massage your body, never going as far as playing with yourself in front of your viewers. but this time, you couldn't stop thinking about patrick. how big his hands were compared to you, you imagined it wrapped around your wrist, or holding your waist, or choking you. the thought making you squeeze your thighs together. you made soft noises as your massaged your breasts, imagining what it would feel like to feel his hands cupping you. you felt yourself get wet as you pressed your fingers against the fabric of your panties.

tonight's live felt a bit more sensual, it was almost difficult to stop yourself from getting carried away but you needed to be careful. so after an hour, you turned the camera off and placed your laptop under your bed. as soon as you lay back, your hand found its way inside your white, lacy panties. you shiver as the pad of your pointer finger brushed against your sensitive clit, feeling the slick against your skin as your press against your cunt. 

you spent the next hour touching yourself to the thought of patrick using your body, feeling his lips against your skin, lapping up the juices leaking out of you. the sounds you were making were too pornographic that you had to place your hand over your mouth. your fingers covered in your juices as you desperately fucked yourself. it felt like a pretty sight to see that you almost regretted turning your camera off. 

you wanted someone to see you, you wanted him to see what he was doing to you. 

the next time he came over, he had just come straight from tennis practice. his skin was slightly moist with sweat and he wore shorts that rode up his legs when he sat on your bed. you couldn't focus on anything but his thighs. 

“you feeling alright? you're looking kinda red, zoning out too” you blushed, feeling like he just caught you red handed. 

you nod, “yeah, it's just a little hot” 

he smirked, telling you to take your shirt off if it's that hot, he wouldn't mind it at all. you rolled your eyes at his suggestion, turning your attention back to your laptop. you were tempted to do it, it took you everything in your body not to. even with your choice of work, you still had a little bit of self respect and discipline left. 

that night, you ended up touching yourself on camera for the first time. making yourself cum infront of your viewers while they had no idea you were thinking of patrick, again. having your lips on his skin, straddling his lap and feeling his bulge press against your clothed cunt, his hands on your breasts as you bounce on his cock. you made the highest amount of money you've ever made since you've started. but you made sure to tell them it was a one time thing. 

the next evening, was the day before your presentation. patrick was on his way over so the two of you can practice and prepare yourself for tomorrow. 

you bumped into him on your way to the communal bathroom, telling him to go right ahead. 

patrick entered your room, dropping his equipment by the door as usual. instead of laying in your bed like he always does, he sat on your chair. leaning back with his arms crossed as he observed the trinkets on your desk and the photos pinned on the corkboard. 

a few minutes later, you walked in and sat on your bed, facing him. he turned around in your chair to ask you something about the photos but the sight of you on your bed left him dumbfounded. the realization of why your room looks familiar finally came to him, the only reason it took him so long was because the only way he's ever seen it was through the camera, facing the exact direction he's looking at right now. 

you were the anonymous cam girl he had been jerking off to after your sessions, you were the girl he had just sent a hundred dollars to the night before. 

[leafofkudzu]

Happy June, and happy Pride Month, everyone! As the start of Summer fast approaches, so too does the first Saturday of a new month - which means it's time for another art party hosted by my guild, [VS] Verdant Shield!

For those not familiar, art parties are a concept carried over from Final Fantasy XIV: in-game get-togethers for artists of all kinds to hang out, chat, and create together! For GW2 parties there’s more of an emphasis on hanging out and gathering references during the party itself, and then in the days/weeks following to work on your creations at your own pace and then post to the shared art party tag. We’ve used the same one (#VSArtParty) since the very beginning so you can go allll the way back and explore what people have made! The most important thing to keep in mind though is this: the ‘goal’ of an art party isn’t to be drawn, but to draw others, and share with the community!

Time and /squadjoin information is below the cut, but will also be posted again on the day of the party as squads go up!

Location Information:

I'm not particularly keen on setting up shop directly in Lion's Arch for any of these events (mapchat would probably be insufferable), so the gates outside in Gendarran Fields will have to do! Later this month everyone will be passing through these gates during the annual Tyria Pride event, so I thought it would be cute and thematically appropriate! You can get there from the obvious Cornucopian Fields Waypoint, or of course from going out the gate in the North of Lion's Arch (Trader's Forum Waypoint would be the closest)!

Time & Squad Details:

As always, there’ll be two parties - the first one on EU servers and the second on NA ones - with an hour break in between!

The EU server party will begin at 9pm Central European Summer Time (aka 3pm Eastern Daylight Time or 5 hours before in-game reset). I’ll be hosting this one on my EU alt account, so please either /whisper or /squadjoin Ashelin Falstaff for a taxi invite if you don’t end up on the right map!

The NA server party will begin 1 hour after the EU party’s official end, at 7pm Eastern Daylight Time (aka 1am Central European Summer Time or��1 hour before in-game reset). I’ll be on my main account for this one, so please /whisper or /squadjoin Kirslyn for a taxi invite if you don’t see my customary white cat tag hanging around on your map!

Closing Words:

As should be pretty obvious from all the rainbow post theming, feel free to bring your Pride-themed characters and outfits if you like! Of course if you don't have any, don't feel up to it, or just simply would rather show off a different style of character, feel free to do that instead! This is, as always, the type of event that's focused on self-expression, in whatever form that may take for you! Take care of yourselves everyone, and I'll see you all on Saturday! ♥

[soubeomies]

୨୧ “LIP PIERCING.”

⤷ PAIRING﹕ taesan x fem!reader

⤷ WARNINGS ﹕mentions of kissing

⤷ GENRE﹕fluff

⤷ WC﹕1132

⤷ AUTHOR'S NOTE﹕this is based on the livestream where he asked if it would be uncomfortable to kiss with a lip piercing cause WHAT THE FUCK MAN?? OH MY GOSH

⤷ SYNOPSIS ﹕you decided to surprise taesan with a new addition to your appearance, in this case, it was a lip piercing.

( @kstrucknet )

scrolling through instagram, you come across a gorgeous girl with a lip piercing. you find yourself clicking on her profile and stalking her account, occasionally zooming into her lips. specifically, zooming into that lip piercing. 

you’ve always wondered what it’d be like with some sort of piercing, but you never thought that you’d look good with one.

after scrolling through that girl's instagram feed for a while, you made up your mind. finding yourself on a piercing website, booking an appointment for 3pm tomorrow. in about a month, your boyfriend, taesan, was coming to visit. naturally, you wanted to surprise him with the new piercing!

｡ﾟ 𝜗𝜚 ‧ ₊ ꒱

ring ring! the sound of your alarm, your phone vibrating on your bedside table. you groggily reach over to your phone and click on “stop” before proceeding to get up with a yawn. grabbing your phone to check the time, 11:21 it reads.

you rolled out of bed, folding your blanket and placing it on the foot of the bed. making your way to the bathroom, you spend some time scrolling through your phone before actually putting it down and getting ready. you took a warm shower and did your skincare routine and a little bit of makeup in order to look somewhat presentable.

you checked yourself in the mirror once again, fixing that stray hair that found its way to your face. smiling at your bathroom mirror before walking out with your phone in hand. grabbing the cute bag you got the other day. gently placing all of your belongings into the bag, along with making sure all of your essentials were in there too.

you check the time on your phone, 12:43. in two-ish hours, you would have a lip piercing. you smiled at yourself a little, feeling somewhat excited for a new change to your appearance.

｡ﾟ 𝜗𝜚 ‧ ₊ ꒱

you make your way into your favorite cafe, the barista never failing to get your regular iced coffee order. the perfect amount of ice and sugar, you loved the taste of the bittersweet coffee on your tongue. savoring the taste, you walk back to your car to drive into the direction of the piercing clinic.

you finally arrive after about thirty minutes of driving and one cup of iced coffee that you had successfully finished whilst driving to the clinic. you walked in and sat down at the waiting room, waiting for your turn to get your long awaited lip piercing.

time flies by, “y/n l/n!” a voice exclaims. that voice belonged to a woman with a clipboard in her hands, you stood up with a nod as she looked at you with a smile and wrote something down on her clipboard. “right this way, ms. l/n!” she says in a friendly yet professional manner. guiding you into the room where you would finally get that lip piercing.

｡ﾟ 𝜗𝜚 ‧ ₊ ꒱

you winced a little at the sudden pain, though it was over in the matter of seconds. the pain slowly disappears when you get handed a mirror, that pain quickly gets replaced with a sense of relief. it looked.. quite good.

sure, it was different! but it didn’t look half bad on you. you thanked the piercer before she spoke, “i will email you everything you need to do, okay? make sure to check if it rejects!” 

you leave the clinic happily, feeling relieved that you finally got the piercing part done. 

｡ﾟ 𝜗𝜚 ‧ ₊ ꒱

the following weeks, you always avoided giving taesan pictures of yourself. excuses like “oh sorry, i’m busy rn!” or “sorry! camera broke!”

it was lame and unbelievable, and you know that. but it was only a few weeks before he would come over. what’s the fun if you don’t get to surprise him!

you would also continue those next few weeks with carefully taking care of the piercing, making sure it gets proper care and doesn’t get infected.

｡ﾟ 𝜗𝜚 ‧ ₊ ꒱

a month finally passes by, at this point, your lip piercing has already fully healed. thank goodness it didn’t reject.. though you were more excited over the fact that you’d finally see taesan after so long!

you were anticipating taesan to knock at your door, any minute now.. you mumble to yourself. you couldn’t be more proud! as you mumbled that to yourself, you heard soft knocking on the door along with your name being called. “y/n! i’m here!” a familiar voice exclaims from the other side of the door.

you hurriedly rush over to the door, taking a deep breath before opening the door. at first he didn’t realize it at all, naturally walking into the apartment as he looked down to take off his shoes. “ah baby i missed you so mu—“ he got quickly cut off.

he finally looked up at you, was that a.. lip piercing? he looked at you, mouth agape.

“eh— did you? what??” he says as he looks closer, leaving you little to no space between your lips and his. he couldn’t stop staring at your lip piercing

“yeah.. hehe.” you giggled a little at his reaction, “so that’s why you haven’t been giving me your silly pictures anymore?” he realized and finally fixing his gaze on you instead of that oh-so-distracting piercing.

you reply with a simple nod, guiding him into your apartment all whilst helping him out with the heavy luggage that he brought.

｡ﾟ 𝜗𝜚 ‧ ₊ ꒱

now, both of you are on your couch. eating some snacks while watching your favorite show. you giggled occasionally at funny scenes, your head resting on his lap as he let his fingers run through your hair. but he couldn’t help it, his eyes were not on the tv. instead, it was fixated on that damn lip piercing.

you laugh again at a funny scene, looking up at him, expecting him to laugh along. you see him directly looking at you instead of at the tv. he quickly gets flustered and looks up at the tv, you looked at him confused before sitting upright — “huh?” you mutter. 

“i—“ he could barely muster up words as they were stuck in his throat, he’d been caught red handed staring at your lip piercing. “do you not like it?” you say with a frown.

he quickly fixes his gaze on you with obvious panic in his eyes, “NO! no no no— i actually.. i love it..” he says, the volume in his voice slowly decreasing towards the end of his sentence.

“so why are you staring..?” you asked him curiously, “i wonder what it’s like to kiss you with that.. lip piercing.” he blurts out. 

realizing what he said, his face quickly turned beet red. “that is.. only if you want!!” he says, trying to reassure you. you can only laugh at his nervousness, “then why don’t you come here and see for yourself?” 

[boldlyvoid]

Neighbourhood Beauty

Spencer Reid x Fem Reader

Summary: Penelope is hosting Christmas at her apartment this year, she invites everyone... Including her new neighbour, who is exactly Spencer's type.

Warnings: flirting, love at first sight, kissing, making out, teasing, drunk bau friends, food mentions, Baker!Reader

Word Count: 2.2k

She was sad the whole journey home from work knowing that Christmas was tomorrow and she was going to be alone. As she gets into her apartment complex, she runs into her neighbour at the mailbox. She’s got 3 packages in her hands while trying to figure out how to carry the last two, “do you want help?” 

“Oh, please?” She sounds so relieved. “What a blessing it is to see you today.” 

She smiles for the first time in a few hours, “Oh, anytime Penelope. Are these all gifts?” She asks as she takes the two packages in her hands. She’ll come down for her own mail later. Nothing interesting should be in there. 

Penelope nods, leading them towards the elevators. “I’m having a big holiday gathering tomorrow— wait, do you have plans, are you going home to see family?” 

“No,” she admits, sadly. “I couldn’t get a plane ticket, I tried but they’re so insanely expensive lately.” 

“Yeah, I know,” Penny sighs. “I haven’t gone out to see my brothers in years, they’re in California.” 

“It sucks… but you have lots of friends here, right? I’m sure they’re coming over tomorrow?” She asks, mostly so she can feel some sort of comfort if she isn’t doing anything tomorrow either. 

“I’m having Christmas here for the first time,” she shares. “Dinner starts at 6:30 but we’re having a little bit of everything for lunch around 2, if you want to stop by at any time?” 

“Oh no, I couldn’t—

“You can, and you will!” Penelope insists. “You don’t need to worry about gifts or bringing any food, just show up. I hate the thought of you being alone next door.” 

“Okay, I’ll come,” she gives in with a smile. “But I’m bringing a baked good… have you ever been to my bakery?” 

“You own the bakery?” She’s so flabbergasted. “I thought you just worked there?” 

She smiles, “I do… we do okay but I’m by no means rich enough to buy a plane ticket home.” 

“Well, maybe that’s a good thing cause now I can eat whatever you bring tomorrow!” 

—

She spends the whole night baking. She makes molasses cookies with powdered sugar on them in shakes of little Christmas trees and she makes chocolate croissants. One of which she brings to Penelope around 10 am so that she can have a nice breakfast before the party starts. 

She showers, picks a cute outfit and by 3pm she’s anxiously waiting by the door trying to hype herself up to go over. She only knows Penelope. They’ve lived beside each other for 3 years now. She’s seen her friends coming and going and heard them talking in the halls but she’s never talked to them. But if they like Penelope, they’ve gotta like her too. 

So she bucks up and heads over. 

She knocks and within seconds, a handsome man is throwing the door open. “You don’t have to— oh, hi?” 

“Hi… Penelope invited me? I’m her neighbour… Y/N,” she awkwardly introduces herself. 

He’s at a loss for words— and breath, for a moment and then shakes himself out of it. “Spencer… Reid. Doctor… Doctor Spencer Reid.” 

It makes her laugh, easing the anxiety out of her system. “Can I come in, Doctor Spencer Reid?” 

“Yeah, yes, come in,” he steps out of the way and extends his arm into the room for her to follow. He closes the door after she’s inside and smiles. “How do you know Penelope?” 

“I live next door.” 

“Really?” He can’t believe it. “How long?” 

“3 years now…” 

“And you’ve never come over?” He looks offended. 

She smiles, “Why, sad you haven’t known me longer?” She manages to tease him. She’s not always good at reading people but something about how he’s acting makes her think he likes her. 

He blushes but nods, “Well, welcome. It’s nice to finally meet you.” 

“You too,” she looks him up and down. He’s very handsome. And a doctor… “how do you know Penelope?” 

“We’ve worked together since I was 22…” 

“And you’re now…?”

“42,” he presses his lips together, awkwardly. “Old…” 

“No, no you’re not, I would’ve guessed 35 at the most,” she teases, stepping into his space, she places her hand on his arm. “You’re a very handsome 42.” 

“Are you doing anything for New Years?” He asks, removing all his fear and looking at her with hopeful eyes. 

She shakes her head, “no… I might be working but I can leave early, or you can come see me there?” 

“Where do you work?” 

“I own the bakery on 16th Avenue,” she smiles. “Penelope buys in donuts and things from me all the time, actually, I brought over baked goods this morning, they’re in the kitchen somewhere.” 

“Did you make those croissants?” He lights right up. 

She nods, “maybe I can teach you how to make some?” 

“I’d really like th—

“Y/N!” Penelope comes running from the kitchen and wraps her arms around her, “When did you get here?” 

“Just now,” she laughs. “Spencer’s been keeping me company.” 

“Ahh,” she pulls away with a smile. “Well, come eat, there’s lots of snacks in here.” 

She leads them into the kitchen where her other friends are around the table. “The ones with kids will be around later, they’re still putting batteries and things in their kid's gifts. But this is Rossi and Emily and Tara.” 

She reaches out to shake everyone's hand, realizing only now that she never shook Spencer's, but he doesn’t mind, he stays close to her. They sit side by side, he passes her things from the table that she wants to put on her plate and he gets up to get her a drink and everyone makes conversation while also watching him dote on her. It’s been 20 minutes but there’s something there… no man has shown her this level of interest or flattery before and not to quote Lana Del Rey but, when you know you know. 

They’re friendly as ever when there are people around them and they flirt like mad when they’re alone. She already has a date with him, but he’s just too cute and that shade of red he turns is starting to become her favourite colour. 

“You seriously used all the ice?” Penelope chastises Emily, who pretends she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. “Go get some more, we have guests coming who don’t drink alcohol they need ice for their sodas!” 

“I am far too drunk to walk down the street,” she counters and points to Dave. 

“Not me,” Dave touches his nose, he doesn’t volunteer to do anything and Tara does the same thing, she’s just as drunk as Emily. 

Spencer goes to get his coat with a sigh, “I’ve got it.” 

“I’ll come too,” she rushes to the door with him, putting on whatever coat fits her so that she can follow him down to the street for some extra alone time with him. 

She reaches for his hand on the street, “So, what’s it like at the FBI?” 

He holds her hand gladly, “it's… okay. I just teach now. Fieldwork put me in the hospital too many times and I like being alive.” 

“I’m glad you’re still here,” she bumps shoulders with him.

His smile is beautiful. “So, about that date?” 

“We could do anything you want,” she assures. “But my offer still stands.” 

“I think I’d like a baking lesson,” he nudges her back. “It's the one thing I’m not good at.” 

“So what are you good at?” 

“Rambling, falling over, getting shot,” he teases but she swats his arm, leaning into him with a laugh. “Okay, but seriously, I have a Ph.D. in Chemistry, Engineering and Math.” 

“Well luckily for you, baking is just science and a bit of math,” she teases. “You’ll catch on quickly, smarty pants.” 

He pulls her in, chest to chest, standing beside an empty store with all their lights off. He cups her face, “what’s sweeter? Your chocolate croissants or your kiss?” 

She can’t help but laugh, “you’ll have to tell me…” 

He pulls her in for a kiss and sparks fly behind her eyes. As if every atom in her being is on fire, she melts into him. Kissing him deeply, she holds his sides and the hand he has on her cheek goes into her hair as they begin to make out on the snow-covered street. 

She pulls back first, smiling softly, “so?” 

“You, it’s definitely you,” he teases. “But the croissants are a very close second.” 

She laughs, “Well, keep up the compliments and there will be lots more kisses and sweet treats coming your way.” 

“You’re the most beautiful woman in the neighbourhood,” he teases, leaning in for another kiss but she stops him. 

“Just the neighbourhood?” 

“The whole world,” he corrects, which is the right answer. She lets him lean in closer, stealing another kiss. 

She kisses him again and again, trying to pull back but he kisses her a third time, making her laugh. “We need to get that ice, we’re going to be late for dinner.” 

“do you want to hang out after dinner?” He asks, “I can walk you home?” 

“And stay for more kisses?” 

“Or croissants,” he shrugs. Happy with either. 

—

They’re pretty normal for the rest of the party, she meets the rest of his friends and all their kids. And they’re some cute kids. The youngest is his friend Matt's 2-year-old, she sits at the grown-up table with them and eats one of the chocolate croissants with the biggest smile on her face. Y/N can’t help but think about how much her own kids might like her baking one day… and Spencer sees the way she looks at the baby too. 

His friends are so lively, the the party goes on until well after midnight. The friends with kids head out early, Emily and Tara get a cab home, Dave is passed out on her couch and Spencer isn’t going to leave until she does. And she’s helping Penelope clean up. 

“You don’t have to stay,” Penelope assures her, drying off dishes while Spencer washes them. She’s been putting things in Tupperware containers and organizing the fridge. 

“I want to help, as a thank you,” she smiles at her. “This has been a lovely night.” 

“And not just because I introduced you to your new boyfriend?” She teases and Spencer drops a plate. 

She laughs, walking over to place her hand on Spencers arm, “I mean, meeting Spencer is the best present you could’ve given me.” 

Penelope swoons, “Okay that’s it, love birds. Get out of my kitchen, go home, go canoodle and get to know each other. I knew this was going to happen.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me in advance?” Spencer whines as he dries off his hands. “I would’ve worn something nicer?” 

“You look cute,” she teases. 

“See, that’s why,” Penelope points at her. “I knew she’d like you for you, she’s a baker and you love everything I buy from her bakery and she’s so kind and you need someone to love you the way I know you love people back. This is perfect.” 

She wraps her arm around his waist and leans into his space, “thank you penny, we’re going to go now.” 

“Thank you,” Spencer agrees, following her out of the kitchen and towards the door. 

Once they’re in the hallway, he asks, “Did you really mean that?” 

She nods, “of course?” 

He lunges for her, kissing her with her back pressed up against her apartment door. She reaches for the doorknob, twisting it open so that she can bring them inside and push him up against the closed door instead this time. He moans into her mouth at the feeling of his back colliding with the door and her hands are immediately roaming his shirt.

He’s such a good kisser, he is gentle and soft, and he isn’t overly eager and controlling. He lets her explore and slow it down as she presses in closer to him and his hands wander to her hips. 

“Couch?” She pants against his lips, wanting to lay down with him. 

“Show me?” He agrees, following her into her apartment and to the living space. 

She pushes him down against the couch and climbs on top of him. He wraps his arms around her, cradling her body like she’s the most delicate thing in the world. He kisses her just as soft and she moves her kiss to his cheek and his jaw up towards his ear, “you’re so handsome,” she whispers. 

“Thank you,” he gasps. “You’re absolutely stunning, I don’t know how I got so lucky.” 

She smirks against him, kissing down his neck, “You deserve good things, Spence.” 

“You’re too good to me,” he teases, hand slipping down to her ass. “How far are we taking this?” 

She hums, “I’m good just talking and kissing all night?” 

“All night?” 

She nods as she pulls back to look at him. “I kinda don’t want to let you go. I’m afraid you’re too good to be real.” 

“I’m not going anywhere,” he assures. “I’m yours as long as you want me.” 

General Taglist 

@ncsls0515 @stevesmunsons @reidsbookclub @sweetyyhippyy @manuosorioh @mrs-dr-reid @k-k0129 @squishyturtle @katsukis1wife @buckleyhans @mrs-ssa-hotch @ssavanessa22

[authorsofghosts]

Birthday Kiss | Nightcrawler x Reader | One Shot

Author's Note: I find out an hour after waking up at almost 3pm it's Kurt's birthday... had to write something for the blue lad... German translations at the bottom !!

Summery: It was known by everyone except you two that there was something... awkward between you and Kurt. The exchanges of glances when the other wasn't looking, the way your laughs trailed off... Nothing but tonight was the end of all that.

Themes: Birthday, First Kiss, Fluff OMG, so much Fluff, Mutual Crush, Open Ending, Alcohol/Drinking Mention, Awkwardness, Flirting, Guest Appearance of lots of characters, Kissing (duh), Kurt Has a Beard and Forked Tongue (because fuck you), His face is also skin (not fur), Shorter!R (<5'9), R is a mutant/x-man (No Powers Written).

Word Count: 1.4k

The X-Men knew that Kurt wasn't one to like big celebrations, but that didn't stop them from forcing him out of his comfort zone. They rented out a mutant friendly restaurant for the blue boy's birthday. He had to be quite literally dragged by the hair into Wolverine's jeep to go. It was a site to see, really.

But you were happy to see him warm up to the idea as you crawled into the backseat next to him, his tail stopping it's anxious swishing to wrap around you and bring you closer. This made the both of you blush, his cheeks a faint purple.

"So... you knew about all, uh...this?" He asks, voice barely above a whisper.

"Who do you think brought up having a party?" You laugh, smile beaming as you look up at him. His blush deepens at the thought.

"Was?? Since when?!" He laughs, shaking his head as he tried to hide behind his hands. You reach out and pull his hands away from his face, his yellow eyes widening at the sudden act.

"The first, duh. I knew your birthday was coming up, and I wanted to make sure you knew we cared for you, Blau." You say, quickly watching his reaction, which was much softer than you imagined it would me.

"Well, I should have excepted it from mein Freundchen, huh?" He laughs, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you flush against his side. If it weren't for the slight bumps of the road, your ear would be flat against his chest. He quickly puts his knuckles against your scalp and gives you a noogie.

"Keep it civil back there, kids." The gruff voice of the driver and owner of the jeep said, cigar smoke puffing out his mouth as he spoke.

"Sorry, Logan!" You respond, pushing Kurt off of you, your own cheeks hot with blush. You look over to Rogue, who sat on the other side of Kurt, watching the two of you with a small smirk on her face. "What're you looking at?"

"Oh, nothin', sugar." She says, eyes darting between you and your friend, before turning to look out the window. You weren't sure what she meant, but quickly turned your attention back to Kurt, who shrugs and laughs. You watch as he turns to his sister and gets her attention with his tail.

You watch the two siblings mingle, resulting in both of them laughing about some inside joke. It made your heart flutter to hear him laugh, a big change from the man that didn't even want to celebrate his birthday, having to be dragged out of his room by you and Rogue, forced to get dressed in something slightly fancy, and shoved into the car.

The rest of the trip into town was filled with Wolverine's radio blaring some classic rock, small talk and jokes from the back sit of probably the worst trio to get on Logan's nerves, and the wind blowing through the car from the windows. You all finally arrived at the restaurant, having to wait in the jeep for the others. You get out and stretch your legs, quickly followed by Kurt as he sits back against the jeep, arms stretched high into the air.

You can't help but watch the way his white shirt slightly raises, showing just a bit of the blue fur underneath. You blush once again, quickly looking away before he can see. He finishes stretching, holding the front closure of his leather jacket. "You alright, mein Schatz?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry." You wave him off, seeing two more cars pull into the parking lot. You smile widely, grabbing his wrist, "Come on birthday boy."

Kurt's glowing yellow eyes widen as you pull him along towards the others, a humbled laugh leaving his throat as his tail swishes anxiously behind him. The two of you start a conversation with the others, Scott and Hank both giving Kurt a pat on the back as they greet him. You can't help but notice, even with all the people around, he's staring right at you majority of the time.

The party quickly moves inside, a slight rain picking up in the city. The restaurant was on the top floor of the building, high in the sky with a nice balcony. It wasn't that much a big room, the X-Men filling it up pretty well with the amounts of guests. You were quickly separated from Kurt as he was dragged to the bar by some of the guys. You watched from a distance as they all took a shot. You kind of wished you were there to see what they cheered to, but it was less important than the gossip that Warren was spilling to the small group you found yourself apart of.

The night continued on, food being brought and distributed among everyone. You heard a ring of glass being hit with something metal, getting everyone's attention as Scott stood in the middle of the room.

"Hello, everyone! Thank you all for coming out, truly. We're about to bring out the cake and play happy birthday, so if you'd all like to come over here," He gestured to the table next to him, a spot blank for the cake, "That'd be great, thanks!"

He quickly turned around and started talking with Jean and Logan. You looked around for Kurt, spotting him close to the table with a tail wrapped around his leg. You walked over to him, putting a hand around him in a side hug. "Hey, what's up?"

"Oh! Nothing, just... this is all wunderbar, liebe, I'm just a little... over stimulated?" He laughs out. You understand what he means, grabbing his wrist once more and pulling him towards the balcony.

"Then let's get some air, yeah?" You say, looking back at him and pausing before you step out the door. He nods, walking out with you into the cold air of the New York night. You both sigh, finally away from the loud party. You watch as Kurt walks to the balcony edge, leaning himself against the bars.

"Thank you," He grins, "for everything. I didn't think I'd want to be here, but it's very nice that you arranged this whole thing."

"Oh, it wasn't just me. We all pitched in. I just picked the music and decorations, really." You admit, trying to stay humble as your cheeks burned.

"Ja, but, you know," He turns back to you with a toothy grin, his fangs glinting in the moonlight, "it wouldn't have happened if you didn't ask to have a party."

You nod, understanding what he says but still not wanting to take all the credit. Before you can respond, he teleports behind you, the air around you surrounded with the familiar brimstone and ash smell. He places his hands on your shoulders, pressing a soft kiss on your cheek. The feeling of his goatee lingers on your skin as he pull back. "Danke, mein Fraund."

If your face didn't already feel hot, it now felt like it was on fire, your blush dripping to your neck and ears at the gesture. You look over at him, a genuine smile on your lips. "You're very welcome, Kurt." You say, turning around and wrapping your arms around his middle. You nuzzle against his chest.

You both stay there for a few moments, taking it in. You pull away first, heart pounding as the thought of your next action. Your hands travel up to Kurt's face, holding it in place as you stand on your tiptoes. "And... you're welcome for this." You say softly before pressing your lips flush against his own.

Kurt tenses up for a moment, the glow of his eyes disappearing as he closes his eyes, leaning further into the kiss. This shocked you, making you gasp, taken aback as his forked tongue licks across your bottom lip. He pulls you closer into him, a hand combing through your hair and holding your head in place.

You open your mouth, allowing him access into it. He chuckles softly, tail snaking around your hips. The kiss feels like it lasts forever, the two of you tangling in one another. When he finally pulls away, your eyes open to the sight of his cheeks a deep violet, feeling his breath pant against your lips as he presses your foreheads together.

"Did... that really just happen?" He asks, voice hoarse.

"Yeah, it did... It very much did, Kurt." You respond, pressing your lips against his again, but only for a moment. "Think of it as... a birthday gift, yeah?"

"I think a birthday kiss is the best thing you could have given me, Liebchen." Kurt laughs, capturing your lips once again.

"Was?" = What? "Blau" = Blue. "mein Freundchen" = My friend (in a condescending/playful way). "mein Schatz" = My treasure/My darling/My sweetheart. "Wunderbar" = Wonderful. "Liebe" = Love. "Ja" = Yes. "Danke, mein Fraund" = Thank you, my friend. "Liebchen" = Darling.

[cheshitora]

is it okay to request a clingy kazutora drabble or something??? i like the way you write him and it seems like you understand his character really well 🤗

yes it absolutely is okay 🥺 ive had literally 0 motivation to write (actually thats not entirely true but finals have been kicking my ass lately). its just been hard to write for the things i already planned even tho i have a fair amount of ideas to work from already. but anyways, enough abt me, clingy kazutora everybody

goodnight n go / wc : 800 (not proof read lol)

ariana grande

────────────⚪──── 1:52/3:09

◄◄⠀▐▐ ⠀►► ──○─ ⠀ ᴴᴰ ⚙ ♬

it’s 3pm. you should’ve gotten out of bed hours ago. and yet, here you were, wrapped in the confines of your bedsheets, warm rays of sunlight pouring in through the curtains that adorn your windows, the dull ache in your back persistent from rotting in bed for the past few hours.

after another few minutes, the ache now too painful to withstand, you attempt to slide out from under your sheets, intent on wanting to stretch your limbs and find some form of productivity now that you’ve nearly wasted the day cocooned in bed.

but just as slowly slide out from under the weight of an arm wrapped around your waist, the same arm attached to a sleepy kazutora lazily tugs you back into the now uncomfortable bed. as yes, that’s why you were still in bed. him.

“stay…” he grumbles sleepily.

“i can’t. my back is hurting,” you reply, earning a pouty whine from your somehow still-sleepy boyfriend.

his tiredness surely had taken you by surprise when by the time your alarm went off at 9am, he insisted you stay in bed with him since it helped him sleep better. the way he clung to your side earlier this morning and practically shifted his dead weight onto you to successfully pin you back down to the bed flashed into your mind. his hoarse and needy voice rang into your ears when he begged you for “just a few more minutes” in bed.

well, a few more minutes had now turned into hours later and your back and shoulders paid the ultimate price for your love for him. still, you couldn’t decipher why he was so sleepy. the two of you had only stayed up until 1am watching movies and indulging in all kinds of unhealthy snacks that you would regret eating later, your stomach also paying the price for your indulgence.

“c’mon, tora,” you groaned with the pinch of his cheek, hoping he would swat your hand away and give you an opening to slide away from him. but he didn’t. he let you pinch, poke and pull at his cheeks like it didn't bother him. and it hadn’t.

a lazily smile stretched across his lips, your playful attempts to get him to release you only causing him to pull you closer to his bare chest, his skin warm from the mountain of blankets and soft to the touch.

your heart fluttered from the small interaction. “damn him,” you thought. “why do you have to be so cute?”

and as if he read your mind, kazutora slowly opened one eye, his lazy smile still intact as he took in the near blurry sight of your flushed cheeks.

“can’t say ‘no’ to me, can you?” he teased.

“shut up. you’re lucky you’re cute.”

“you like me.” he said, closing his eye and dragging you impossibly closer to him.

you could fight him all you wanted, but you did like him. you loved him. after all, you wouldn’t have stayed in bed past your alarm hadn’t it been for your clingy boyfriend refusing to let you leave the bed.

“yeah, i do.”

his lazy and teasing smile shifts to a more fond one as he opens his eyes again, the faint tint of pink dusting his cheeks as she leaned down to press his lips to your forehead affectionately.

“let’s order takeout today,” he mumbled against your forehead.

“and let’s get some drinks,” you added.

“drinks, huh? might as well add some candy to that too, then.”

by that moment, it was evident that neither of you had any intention to get out of bed and make use of yourselves during the day. but how often would you be able to find moments of peace like this? so even as the sun’s rustic rays painted the walls orange and yellow with the fading of afternoon into night, the room becoming dark with the shine of the moonlight replacing the bright star, you and kazutora decided it would be in your best interest to stay in bed and cling to each other the whole day, sore limbs and back pain be damned.

perhaps you would stay up late and partake in all your favorite foods and movies with the love of your life again. as long as you were happy, he was happy and vice versa. though, you had to admit, watching kazutora constrict himself around you filled your heart with a sense of love you never knew you could feel. the thought of someone loving and needing you so much that your mere departure unsettles them, even if it’s to the bathroom.

some people would call it codependency. and maybe they were right. but who cared? certainly not you. and in this moment, nothing outside of the safety of your bedroom mattered. just the clingy boy latched onto you.

che's final note :: clingy or codependent? who knows? idk i thought this was cute because i would love to have a clingy kazutora in my bed too. anyways, anon, i hope you like this. i hope this is what you were looking for. if it wasn't, i'm sorry and i hope you like it anyway 🥲

[that-one-moth]

Okay okay okay! This had been brewing on my mind all morning and I don’t know if this is an established trope of not when it comes to this sub-genre of fan fiction romance.

But like.. Hanahaki disease, that fictional condition that slowly chokes out a character with flower petals due to unrequited or one-sided love, right? Typically there are two main treatments to save the afflicted from you know.. fucking dying.

Either they confess to the person they love and the feelings has to be shared OR they get a surgery to remove all emotions from the person forever (the second option is different depending on the interpretation.)

But like.. what if those weren’t options. What if the verbal acceptance wasn’t what “cured” the petal disease?

What if once one got Hanahaki, it was terminal just like the infected love. It could may dampen but never leave. Kinda like clinical depression in how the feelings are always around but medication and treatment can help. Except that treatment is the physical affection of their crush? The passion, not the love, like a medicine.. and it can get addictive.

Let’s play out an example; Character A has massive crush on their best friend Character B, resulting in A developing a bad case of Hanahaki. Embarrassed and not wanting to ruin their long lasting friendship with B, so A hides the lethal symptoms from them. Though they obviously couldn’t keep the facade up forever..

Cut to B witnessing the bloody display of their best friend vomitting petals, blood and bile mixed so awfully with the scent of carnations and roses over the crimson stained toilet bowl. Horrified that A was hiding their condition but still rushing to their side, kneeling and patting their back and move their hair out of the way.

But A is desperate..

The symptoms have been going on for so long that the once only gagging of the petals had turned to an almost entirely blocked airway. They have put off ruining their friendship with a confession to B too long and now A doesn’t have enough strength of a breath to properly explain, confess.

So with death flashing in A’s eyes, they whip around to tightly grasp and pull B in a hungry kiss; the feeling of suffocating petals already loosening on their airway to allow the intensity to soften into an actual romantic scene. This is the part where B would realize their feelings for A. This would be the part..

“Oh I can’t believe you didn’t tell me sooner!”

“Yes of course I return your feelings, my love!”

But that doesn’t happen. B still views A as purely a friend. And that won’t change.

The problem is now that A is depending on a B to live now and the sight of their best friend huddled and agonizing as the breath was stolen from them mere moments scars B. They never wanna see their friend that pained again..

I think the story could go one of two ways if B is truly that guilty about denying A their romantic medication.

Option 1) I’d call it the more ‘normal’, but bittersweet of the two. B, despite only holding platonic feelings for A, upkeeps a false relationship with A, so their best friend doesn’t perish a petal-choked death.

But Option 2)… well it could be continuation from the original bathroom scene or start when B finally gets sick on pretending, wanting their friendship to go back to simply that. B tells A that they reject their advances, that they’re sorry, but they can’t keep leading A on..

But A can afford that with their Hanahaki. And since B never needed to accept the confession, only withstand A’s affection.

This route could go so more darker and/or yandere-ish depending on your comfort level, so I’ll end it there since this blog isn’t NSFW.

[pookietv]

friend's best friend | george clarke

this was a rec! smau where george meets max's best friend (and maybe simps a little)

liked by georgeclarkeey, andrew_spanndy and 3,496 others

yourusername: he told me we were going out for a walk and a coffee, ended up in the pub at 3pm

max_balegde: you were literally the one that said it was pint weather

↳ yourusername: all weather is pint weather with the right mindset

andrew_spanndy: getting a drunk call from max at 5pm was not what i had expected x

↳ yourusername: i told you that he has to be kept on a leash :/

liked by yourusername, andrew_spanndy and 8,839 others. tagged yourusername

max_balegde: she forced me to go outside and experience nature

yourusername: you're the laziest person i know i had to force you outside somehow

↳ max_balegde: untrue and rude

↳ yourusername: you literally had to be set a fitness challenge to start going outside

georgeclarkeey: not another thirty minute walk max

↳ yourusername: to be fair it was a couple hours long

↳ georgeclarkeey: please don't enable him

liked by georgeclarkeey, arthurtv and 4,857 others

yourusername: not going to tell you guys what i did today but i can indeed say it was very useless ;)

username: omg are we finally getting y/n on useless hotline ???

max_balegde: never talking to you again after today x

↳ yourusername: you're just salty i told the stories andrew was too scared to x

↳ andrew_spanndy: did you tell the spain story??

↳ yourusername: you already know i had to tell the spain story x

liked by yourusername, georgeclarkeey and 17,830 others. tagged yourusername

theuselesshotlinepod: Max's Best Friend Y/N talks Max's Embarrassing Moments, Dating and More in This Weeks Episode! (Dressed as 1920s Reporters, for some reason)

yourusername: still very confused as to why you made me dress up, but thanks for having me on!

↳ max_baledge: we honestly thought it would be funnier then it was

View 2,835 comments

liked by georgeclarkeey, arthurtv and 4,279 others

yourusername: when max promises me that we will have a quiet one and i end up plastered and dragged to the kebab shop with arthur and george

georgeclarkeey: you're lucky i shared my chips

↳ yourusername: you literally dragged me there what do u MEAN lucky ??

↳ georgeclarkeey: next time buy your own then x

arthurtv: to be fair it was mostly george that insisted you join at the kebab shop

↳ yourusername: true true but you played a part in the peer pressure

max_balegde: so this is where george dragged u when he made you leave ??

↳ arthurhfhill: i honestly thought they were leaving to do something else

↳ yourusername: @/arthurhfhill please never comment on my instagram again

liked by georgeclarkeey, max_balegde and 5,739 others

yourusername: george thought it would be funny to mock me

georgeclarkeey: it is a little funny to mock you

georgeclarkeey: plus, i did pay so i'm allowed to mock you

↳ yourusername: since when are they the rules?

↳ georgeclarkeey: since i paid and i wanted to mock you

usernameone: they went out alone and he paid ??

max_balegde: when i literally get excluded from my only two friends going out together

↳ yourusername: sorry next time i promise u can come on a date we will be a great throuple x

↳ usernametwo: THEY'RE ON A DATE????

liked by georgeclarkeey, max_balegde and 7,730 others

yourusername: guess who finally got a girlfriend (spoiler, it's this prick)

georgeclarkeey: i have never looked more attractive

↳ yourusername: i think the bloody cheerleeder fit and no eyebrow must have topped this x

↳ georgeclarkeey: brb about to post the worst photos of you ever x

↳ yourusername: okay you go do that then x

↳ georgeclarkeey: okay there aren't any bad photos of you i lied

arthurtv: jeeez whose that fine fella

↳ yourusername: no clue i found him on the street, he's free to a good home

[writingsoftarnishedsilver]

Weaponized | Sebastian Sallow x Reader

Part Nine

← Previous Chapter Next Chapter →

Words: ~4,600

Series Tags/Warnings: Violence, Trauma, No Hogwarts House, Post Hogwarts, Auror!Sebastian, Auror!MC, Modern AU, Female Reader Insert, Enemies to Lovers, Slow Burn, Forced Proximity, Ancient Magic, Mutual Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Betrayal, Reconciliation, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Divergent

Beta: @dreamy-gal-30 💚💚💚

Auror Division Headquarters, Outdoor Grounds – London

It was the first Saturday you’d had off in weeks. No drills. No paperwork. No cryptic assignments to chase or false tips to decode. Just quiet, for once. Thin sunlight stretched across the Auror Division’s yard, the grass still damp from a morning rain. You sat cross-legged on a worn stone bench near the fence line, book in hand.

One of Sebastian’s, actually. A weathered copy of A Study in Dark Channel Theory, with his notes scribbled in the margins, some thoughtful, some sarcastic, and more than one aimed directly at the author’s “complete disregard for context.” You’d borrowed it half as a joke. Now you couldn’t put it down.

The owl came just after noon. A sleek barn owl with precise flight and a letter tucked in its claws. You frowned as it landed beside you and extended its leg, clearly not a field dispatch bird. You hadn’t received non-mission mail from anyone but Canada in months.

You slipped the scroll from its binding and scanned the writing inside.

Warden, Come to Ominis’s flat. 3pm. Keep it quiet. Address attached. —S.

You stared at it for a beat. Ominis’s flat? You’d never been to Ominis’s place. Hell, you hadn’t been anywhere in London that wasn’t directly tied to a mission or a Ministry building. 

You glanced at your watch. Barely two hours.

Your stomach tightened. You were still in a ratty sports bra and sweat-stained shirt, boots unlaced and legs sore from your run this morning. With a grunt, you pushed yourself up and jogged back toward the building.

Inside, you stripped quickly, tossing your training clothes onto the floor and hopping into the shower. The water pressure was criminal, but at least it was hot. You scrubbed fast, trying not to let your mind spiral.

Why Ominis’s place? Why now? What had changed since Tuesday?

You stepped out, dried off, and hurried to your room, throwing open the wardrobe.

Civilian clothes. Right.

The only ones you had were the few pieces you’d worn undercover in Knockturn. They weren’t bad, but they’d been picked for blending in with smugglers, not for… Well. Whatever this was.

You pulled the clothes from their hanger—dark jeans, fitted through the hips and thighs, and a black cropped sweater that showed just enough midriff to make you hesitate. You haadn’t planned to wear it again. 

Still, it was your only option.

You tugged the shirt into place and adjusted the hem before glancing at yourself in the mirror. Your hair was damp and curling at the ends, the rest doing whatever the hell it wanted, and your face was bare. Dark circles ringed your eyes, evidence of a week of poor sleep and high stress.

With a low groan, you grabbed the only brush you owned—a wide-toothed detangling comb from the base infirmary, not even yours originally—and raked it through half-damp strands. It helped. A little. But there was no way to disguise the fact that you hadn’t done anything intentional with it. No twist, no pin, no braid. No sleek ponytail or tidy bun. Just hair. Just… you.

And makeup? Please. You didn’t even own any, nor did you know a single cosmetic charm.

You frowned at your reflection and tugged at your sleeves. Smoothed your hair again. Tried to ignore the tightness curling in your chest. Reminded yourself you were meeting your lieutenant and his childhood friend to discuss potential corruption at the highest levels of magical law enforcement, not impress him with your charm and good looks or whatever.

You sat on the edge of the bed, lacing up your boots, then glanced at the desk across the room. The book you’d been reading still lay open, spine-up where you’d left it. The little margin note Sebastian had left on the last page you read said: Does this author actually think infernal magic respects containment theory, or is he just dense?

You huffed a breath, somewhere between a laugh and a scoff. Then you stood and tucked the owl’s scroll into your pocket, reminding yourself that you didn’t care what Sebastian Sallow thought. Not about your hair. Not about your clothes. Not about whether your face was too tired or your sleeves too rumpled. He was your lieutenant. A man who’d pulled a wand on you four days ago. And even if you had for one brief moment cared, it was only because he’d promised not to rat you out for having a cat.

That was it.

Hampstead, Ominis’s Flat – London

Navigating London without magic proved to be a complete shit show. 

The address Sebastian had given you was tucked in a cramped row of flats just off a side street, but you’d taken a wrong turn, boarded the wrong bus, gotten off said bus at the wrong stop, and had to bribe a teenage girl to point you in the right direction.

By the time you arrived, you were half an hour late. And even then, you didn’t knock. Not right away.

You stood outside the flat, staring at the plain green door, heart drumming against your ribs like you hadn’t been deployed in warzones. Like you hadn’t fought dragons, wendigos, dark wizards, and smugglers, or stitched yourself shut with your own wand in a snowy ravine in Manitoba.

Apparently, none of that prepared you for knocking on the front door of a flat.

Ridiculous.

You breathed in, sharp. Let it out slow. Then, finally you lifted your hand and knocked. Three quick taps. You half-wished no one would answer. 

There was a pause. Then footsteps. The door opened.

Ominis Gaunt stood in the entryway, sleeves rolled, collar slightly undone. He didn’t look surprised to see you.

“You’re late,” he said mildly, stepping back to let you in.

You stepped inside, brushing past him with a murmured, “Sorry. Never been in London before. Not… properly anyway.”

He gave a dry little hum of amusement and gestured down the hall. “They’re in the sitting room.”

“...They?”

“Sebastian and Garreth,” he replied, shutting the door behind you with a gentle click.

You hadn’t realized Garreth would be here. Then again, you probably should have. He was one of the two people Sebastian had vouched for. Still, something about it caught you off guard. You’d expected a grim huddle, not a whole committee.

You followed the direction Ominis had motioned toward, down a narrow hall and into a large room. The fireplace had been lit but pushed to low embers, casting a soft orange glow across the space. A large coffee table sat in the middle, covered in parchment, half-spilled ink, and a map of London.

Garreth and Sebastian were both pacing, papers in hand, speaking in clipped, serious tones. 

When you stepped into the room, both of them turned.

Garreth’s reaction was immediate. His eyes widened, eyebrows shooting up. His mouth opened slightly, like he meant to greet you but forgot how words worked. His gaze swept over you in one quick, stunned pass, and for a second he just blinked.

You froze, confused. Was something wrong? Did you miss a memo? Was there something on your face?

Sebastian was far less obvious. His reaction was a flicker, almost nothing. A twitch of his jaw, a glance that lasted one beat too long, and a sharp inhale that he covered with a perfectly timed pivot to snark.

“You’re late.”

You raised an eyebrow. 

“She got lost,” Ominis supplied from behind you as he stepped into the room.

Sebastian glanced over at you again, this time with the faintest twitch of amusement in the corner of his mouth. 

Garreth, still looking mildly stunned, finally found his voice. “Er—hi,” he said, stepping forward with a nervous sort of smile. “Garreth. I mean, you knew that. But… yeah. Good to see you again.”

You gave him a nod, unsure of what to say considering his history of letting officers treat you like the help.

Sebastian cleared his throat. “Alright. Now that everyone’s here…” He motioned you toward the table. “We’ve been compiling all the missions with intel anomalies.”

You blinked. “Oh, so… Garreth and Ominis are… up to speed?”

Sebastian nodded. “I told them everything we know.”

“Oh,” you said quietly, the word catching in your throat before it fully landed. Your gaze flicked to the files, then to Sebastian, then to Garreth and Ominis in turn.

You didn’t sit. Not yet.

You hadn’t even told Sebastian everything until you were convinced he might hex the life out of you. And now—just like that—Garreth and Ominis were in on it? This wasn’t some field op, this was the deepest secret you’d ever carried. The kind that could get you killed.

Your fingers curled slightly at your sides.

Ominis seemed to pick up on the hesitation instantly. “You have every right to be wary, but trust me when I say anything said in this room stays here. You have my word.”

“And mine,” Garreth said quickly, looking sheepish. “Honestly, I didn’t realize how bad things had gotten until Sebastian looped me in. I thought—I mean, I knew there were weird calls being made, but—look, we want to help. That’s all.”

You didn’t reply right away.

Sebastian shifted his weight, no longer so rigid in posture. “I should’ve waited for you,” he admitted. “I just… we needed eyes on the intel. But I swear, Ominis and Garreth are the only ones who know.”

You stared at him for a moment, trying to parse whether that softened tone was guilt, justification, or something more complicated. Probably all three. You let out a slow breath.

“Well, the cat’s out of the bag now,” you said, finally. “But nobody else is getting looped in without my say-so. Not even the people you trust.”

Your voice was flat, not threatening, but edged with something sharp. A line being drawn. And to their credit, none of them flinched. 

“Done.” Sebastian said.

You gave a faint nod and stepped forward at last, closing the distance to the table. “Alright. Walk me through it. What’ve you got so far?”

Sebastian glanced at Ominis, who picked up a file from the top of the stack and flipped it open.

“We’ve spent the past forty-eight hours cross-referencing mission reports and logs,” he said. “There are inconsistencies in the recorded seizures from two recent raids—items that were supposedly catalogued to be destroyed.” He tapped a page, revealing a ledger scrawled with item codes and timestamps. “But the destruction orders were either forged or never executed, because these items disappeared from Ministry storage last week.”

You leaned in slightly, scanning the parchment. “So someone’s siphoning artifacts out of Ministry storage and… what? Collecting them?”

Ominis’s mouth tightened. “Selling them.”

Garreth spoke up from your left. “There’s an auction tonight. High-profile.”

You blinked. “The Ministry is sponsoring an auction of illegal goods?”

“We think someone in the Ministry is,” Ominous explained. “High enough up that they can reroute evidence, scrub logs, and authorize controlled burns that never happen.”

You absorbed that for a beat, arms crossing loosely over your chest. “So. An illegal black market auction, possibly funded by our own employers. Love that. What’s the plan?”

A silence followed.

“You’re going in. As a buyer.”

You blinked. “I’m sorry?”

“You and Sebastian,” Ominis clarified. 

You stared at him like he’d suggested you wrestle a dragon barehanded.

“What? No. Absolutely not.”

Sebastian folded his arms. “Why not?”

You turned sharply. “Why not? Because this is insane, Sebastian. We’re talking about a black market auction run by someone inside the Ministry. You want me to walk in there, unarmed, pretending to be on a date with you?”

He blinked, cheeks going pink. “I never said date.”

Ominis raised a hand. “Let’s stay focused. You’ve already been undercover together. You know how each other operates. That familiarity is a strength.”

“And I’ll file it as an off-duty teambuilding exercise,” Sebastian added quickly. “Something not worth poking too hard at.”

You stared at him. “Teambuilding.”

He shrugged. “Technically not a lie… Builds trust. Mutual cooperation.”

“Oh my god.”

Sebastian’s expression softened. “You trust me in a fight, don’t you?”

You didn’t answer immediately. The truth was annoying. And obvious.

“Yes,” you muttered finally.

“Then trust me now,” he said. “We’ll get in, gather what intel we can, and get out. No risks we don’t choose to take.”

You exhaled hard. The thought of playing rich and reckless in a den of aristocratic criminals made your skin crawl. And doing it with Sebastian, who had, against all rationale, been taking up more and more of your thoughts lately, only made it worse. 

You rubbed the back of your neck. “You know I don’t own anything that looks remotely like buyer attire, right? Unless smuggler-chic is still trending.”

“We’ve got options,” Garreth chimed in, eager to be useful. “We know someone.”

Ominis gave a tight nod. “You’ll be outfitted and ready by this evening.”

You stared at them. “So what, you planned all this before I even agreed?”

“We had faith,” Garreth said, clearly trying for optimism but landing somewhere between sheepish and nervous.

You gave him a flat look. “You also had nothing if I’d said no.”

“True,” Ominis admitted. “But we were prepared to grovel.”

“I wasn’t,” Sebastian muttered.

You shot him a look. He had the audacity to smile.

You leaned back in your chair and ran a hand through your hair. “Alright. Fine. But I swear to Merlin, if I end up in a dress with no pockets—”

Ominis gave a cool nod. “You’ll have pockets.”

You opened your mouth to thank him, but then—

“Wait… dress?” Sebastian blurted, the word escaping with just a hint of panic.

You turned slowly.

He looked genuinely unsettled, like the concept had only just hit him. Like he’d been picturing the mission in abstract, not… you in a dress.

Garreth didn’t miss a beat. “Merlin’s beard, really, Sallow? Didn’t think you of all people would get flustered over a dress given your reputation for—”

“—I’m not flustered,” Sebastian snapped, then caught himself. “I just assumed it would be something… tactical.”

Garreth leaned back with a smug grin. “Sure, Sallow.”

“Garreth—”

“Alright,” Ominis interrupted firmly. “That’s enough. Come with me,” he said to you, already turning toward the hallway. “You’ve got about three hours to get ready. Let’s not waste them.”

You stood, casting one last glance behind you, and followed him out of the sitting room. His flat was larger than you’d expected—long hallways, tall windows, clean lines softened by deep-toned wood and carefully chosen furniture.

He moved with purpose, leading you deeper through the flat past a few closed doors. “The room I'm taking you to is soundproofed,” he said without turning around. “The stylist didn’t hear a word of that conversation. All she knows is that you’re being prepared for a formal Ministry function. Nothing else.”

You nodded, tension easing just slightly.

“She’s an old friend from Hogwarts,” he added gently. “Trustworthy. You’ve nothing to worry about.”

Ominis stopped at the last door in the hall and knocked once before opening it, stepping aside to let you in.

Before you opened an elegantly decorated bedroom. In the corner, a folding garment rack hung with dresses in dark velvets and sleek silks. The vanity in the corner was cluttered with hair styling tools, makeup palettes, and an array of brushes. Standing in the middle of it all was a woman you didn’t recognize.

She turned from the rack at the sound of the door, her dark hair pinned up in a loose twist, wand tucked behind one ear like a pencil. She looked you over once and smiled.

“You must be the Warden,” she said brightly. “Perfect. You’ve got amazing bone structure.”

You blinked. “I… what?”

“I’m Poppy. I’ll be handling your look for tonight.” She smiled. “First I’ll need to decide on your color palette.”

“My what?”

Poppy was already circling you. “You need to look like you eat cursebreakers for breakfast and keep a vault of cursed objects for fun. The palette needs to be intimidating, mysterious, and sexy.”

You opened your mouth. Closed it. “Right.”

“Don’t worry,” she added, giving your shoulder a quick squeeze. “You’re going to look amazing. Sebastian isn’t going to know what hit him.”

You froze. “That’s… not the goal.”

Poppy grinned like she knew better. “Of course not.”

“I’m not trying to impress him,” you said, probably a little too quickly.

“Sure,” Poppy said, entirely unconvinced.

Behind you, Ominis cleared his throat. “I’ll leave you to it.”

You glanced back toward the door just in time to see it click shut behind him.

Meanwhile, Poppy was a whirlwind in heels.

The moment the door shut behind Ominis, she clapped once and gestured to the cushioned stool in front of the vanity. “Sit, sit. We’ll handle the hair first.”

You sat stiffly, awkward in your own skin, but Poppy didn’t seem to notice. Or if she did, she didn’t comment.

“So,” she said, casually sectioning your hair with a flick of her wand, “how long have you been In London?”

“About a month,” you replied cautiously.

“Mmm. And with the Wardens?”

“Eight years.”

Poppy whistled softly. “No wonder you carry yourself like a blade. Honestly, it’s a dream to dress someone who knows how to stand. Makes everything hang better.”

You blinked at the mirror. “That’s… a compliment, right?”

“The highest.” Her tone was light, but her hands were precise, curling your hair with finesse. “I’ve worked with all sorts. Musicians, ministry spies, models… one time I styled the French ambassador’s security escort. Absolutely tragic posture. You, though—” She stepped back, eyed her work, and smiled. “We’ll have you looking like a femme fatale in no time.”

Your lips parted to protest, but she’d already shifted gears.

“All of this,” she said, waving vaguely to the vanity clutter and garment rack, “is from my own line. Everything ethically sourced. I don’t take anything from magical animals that they don’t shed naturally.”

You glanced at the brush she’d used. “This?”

“Hippogriff feathers. Brushed from Cerus, my oldest. He’s cranky, but his plumage is stunning.”

You smiled a little. “So you raise hippogriffs?”

“Oh yes. I keep a whole sanctuary. Mostly rescues. You wouldn’t believe the state some of them arrive in.” She paused to examine a palette of eyeshadow, then dabbed one onto a brush. “Close your eyes.”

You obeyed, still feeling like a fish in a bloody tree.

“Good,” Poppy murmured, dabbing lightly at your lids. “Just a touch more definition…”

You stayed still as instructed, resisting the urge to peek in the mirror. Every time you so much as leaned, she blocked your view with her body or a palette. And eventually, you lost track of time. There was something oddly soothing about being fussed over.

Finally, she stepped back. “There. Makeup and hair done. Now for the main event.”

She swept toward the rack of dresses, flicking through the hangers until she landed on a deep navy piece. She held it up and gave you a look.

“You’ve got structure,” she said matter-of-factly. “A fantastic silhouette. We’re not hiding that. We’re highlighting it.”

You blinked. “Highlighting?”

Poppy smirked. “That waist? Those hips? You could start a war with those proportions. Honestly, it’d be irresponsible of me not to weaponize them.”

Your cheeks went hot. “That’s—I'm not—”

“Hush,” she said breezily, handing the dress to you. “Go behind the screen and try this one first. Trust me.”

You took it with a stunned nod, trying not to let your palms sweat too much on the luxurious fabric.

“I have backups if you hate it,” Poppy called as you stepped behind the changing screen. “But I think this one’s going to be a problem.”

“For who?”

Poppy just laughed.

Behind the screen, you stripped quickly, awkwardly maneuvering into the silky gown. The fabric was heavier than you expected and had a mind of its own, like it had already decided how it wanted to sit on your body, which was apparently: snug.

Merlin. You weren’t sure you wanted to look in the mirror.

Taking a deep breath, you emerged slowly, smoothing your hands down the sides of the dress in a vain attempt to feel less exposed. Poppy turned, took one look at you, and let out a satisfied hum.

“I knew it,” she said with a grin. “That is dangerous.”

You crossed your arms, then uncrossed them, then settled for clasping your hands behind your back, unsure what to do with yourself. “It feels like… a lot.”

“It’s perfect,” Poppy countered, rushing to clasp a silver necklace on you. “Ready to see?”

You hesitated. “Not really.”

Poppy laughed, light and warm. “Tough.”

She rested a hand on your shoulder, turning you around to face the full length mirror.

You froze.

You barely recognized the woman staring back at you.

She wasn't the soldier who trained at dawn, slept with one eye open, or patched her uniform with sewing charms between field rotations.

This was someone else.

Your fingers curled lightly at your sides. The makeup, the dress… it felt like too much. Like you’d stepped into someone else’s skin, someone confident, someone desirable.

You swallowed hard.

“I… Poppy, I don’t even know what to say.” You drew in a steady breath, trying to gather yourself. “It’s just… I don’t look like this. I’m not the sort of person who—”

“Bullshit,” Poppy said gently, not unkindly. “You’re exactly the sort of person who does this kind of thing. You’ve just never been given the chance to try.”

You blinked quickly, throat tightening.

“Now,” Poppy said, giving your reflection one final, approving look. “Only one thing left.”

You turned to her, wide-eyed. “There’s more?”

She grinned, already flicking her wand. “Pockets.”

Sebastian adjusted the cuff of his black jacket for the third time, even though it didn’t need adjusting. His usual uniform was gone. Tonight he wore a sleek black jacket cut close to the body, and beneath it, a black shirt, open at the collar. No tie. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to wear one, already too aware of the tightness in his chest. 

He looked good. He looked dangerous. And he looked impatient.

“You’re going to wear a hole in the floor if you don’t stop,” Garreth said from the armchair, one ankle propped on his knee.

“I’m thinking,” Sebastian replied flatly.

“You’re pacing.”

Ominis, who was seated by the fireplace with his fingers tented thoughtfully, didn’t look up. “He’s been pacing for twelve minutes and forty-seven seconds, to be exact.”

Sebastian ignored them both, turning on his heel again. “Let’s go over it one more time.”

“You mean for the fifth time?” Garreth said dryly.

“We can’t afford to miss anything.”

“She walks in with you,” Ominis said, calm and crisp. “You make conversation with other buyers. Blend in. Figure out what items are being sold. Leave. It’s simple.”

Sebastian nodded but didn’t say anything. He didn’t have the energy. Not when his thoughts kept straying—again—to things that had absolutely nothing to do with smuggled relics or Ministry traitors. Like whether you’d think he looked ridiculous in this jacket. Or too stiff. Or like he was trying too hard.

He scowled and adjusted the cuffs again. A beat passed, filled only by the low crackle of the fireplace and the faint ticking of the clock on the mantle.

And then Sebastian heard it. The click of heels against hardwood.

He turned toward the hall, every inch of him going still as you appeared in the doorway.

Garreth blinked, visibly startled. Ominis didn’t even try to hide his smirk. And Sebastian… Sebastian forgot how to breathe.

The gown hugged you like it had been painted onto your skin. It clung to your waist and hips in a way that made his brain stutter, the silk catching the low firelight and turning it to shadow and sheen with every step you took. The neckline dipped low—low enough to draw his gaze and then force it back up again, because he was suddenly very aware of the fact that you were watching him.

Your hair framed your face in soft, deliberate curls. Your lips were painted a shade so rich and deep it bordered on sinful, and your eyes locked on his like they were daring him to say something stupid.

And he nearly did. But thankfully, Garreth spoke first, 

“Holy hell,” Garreth muttered, sitting up straighter. 

Ominis’s lips curled with quiet satisfaction. “Told you she’d clean up well.”

You shifted your weight slightly, clearly unaccustomed to being looked at like this. “...Is it too much?” you asked quietly.

“No,” Sebastian said quickly—too quickly. “It’s… not too much. It’s perfect. You’re perfect. I mean, strategically. The look works. You’ll fit in.”

You nodded stiffly, oblivious to Sebastian’s rambling. “Okay. Good. I’ve… never worn anything like this before.”

Garreth let out a soft whistle. “Well, you should start.”

You shot him a withering look and his hands lifted slightly, as if warding off incoming hexes. “Okay, alright, message received,” he said, grinning despite himself. “Terrifying and gorgeous.”

Ominis snorted while Sebastian tore his gaze away, jaw tight, hands flexing at his sides like he wasn’t sure what to do with them. 

“We should… we should head out.” He said at length.

Ominis rose from his seat with a nod. “I’ll walk you both to the Floo.”

Sebastian stepped forward before he could second-guess himself, offering you his arm with a wordless, slightly too-formal motion. 

Just courtesy. That’s all it was.

But the second your hand settled against his sleeve, fingers curling lightly around the crook of his elbow, his pulse kicked like he was seventeen again and about to make a fool of himself.

“Good luck out there,” Garreth said, grinning like he knew something he shouldn’t.

Sebastian opened his mouth to snap back, but Ominis was already moving toward the hallway, so he swallowed the retort and turned instead to follow. You moved with him, your heels tapping softly beside the dull thud of his shoes.

Then, just before reaching the Floo, you spoke.

“You look good too… by the way,” you said, your voice a little stiff as your eyes flicked briefly to his open collar.

Sebastian glanced over at you, surprised, so much so that he almost missed a step.

Your gaze darted away again just as quickly, but not before he caught the flicker of something unreadable in your eyes.

“Very… brooding,” you added, as if trying to smooth it over. 

A corner of his mouth twitched. “Is that a compliment?”

“Depends,” you said, not quite meeting his eyes. “Do you want to make them nervous?”

His smile deepened into something sharp, knowing, and a little wicked. “Terrified, ideally.”

You laughed, and it caught him off guard. Not because you didn’t laugh often (though you didn’t), but because he’d never realized how pretty it sounded. Soft. Unexpected. It hit him low and warm, curling beneath his ribs before he could stop it.

Merlin, he needed to get a grip.

Ominis wordlessly offered the Floo powder dish. “Keep the improvisation to a minimum tonight. Try to behave.”

Sebastian snorted. “I always behave.”

You arched a brow. “That’s demonstrably false.”

Ominis didn’t bother hiding his amusement. “Just try not to get yourselves arrested. Or cursed. Or stabbed.”

You stepped towards the hearth.

“No promises.”

← Previous Chapter Next Chapter →

Banner Credit

[yamumsyadadd]

the forgotten girl (14)

The start of adult themes at the end xx

Within the safety of my bed, I decided now would be the best time to write Keira and Lucy’s letter. I didn’t want it to be too graphic, but I wanted them to know the full truth. It took a lot of paper, a lot of tears and a glass of wine, but after an hour they were both finished. 

I sat them in the kitchen table, ready to give it to them tomorrow night. 

Dear Keira, 

You know how hard it is from me to talk about things, and there are things I have been keeping from you. This is the easiest way for me to tell you. Please don’t be mad….

Lucy’s letter was the same. A lot of truth, and potentially filling in the gaps of time. It wasn’t going to be easy to sit there and watch them read it, or answer the questions they had, or even deal with the aftermath. 

The following day went slowly, training went slowly, then recover. Everything was just painfully slow. The thought of the letters, burning a hole in my kitchen table. 

“Mils, are we still good for tonight?” Lucy caught up to me in the carpark. 

“Yeah yeah. Come at six yeah? I’ll order us some dinner.” 

The minute I got home the nerves set in. It was only 3pm so I had time to bed rot. Which is exactly what I did. For two hours and 59 minutes. A knock on my door bought be out of the warmth of my bed. 

“Jesus Christ. I’m coming- oh shit. Is it already 6?” Lucy and Keira were standing in front of my apartment. 

“It is. Are you ok?” Keira’s voice held concern, as did her face. 

“Yeah no everything’s fine. I just lost track of time. Come in. I’ll order dinner.” I ushered them inside. 

The silence was awkward, the letters were still on the dining table. 

“Are you ok?” 

“I- um. I have to give you guys something.” I got up and picked up the letters. “Everything that’s happened is in those letters. Things I have only said out loud a couple of times. You can go into the other rooms if you want. I’m just going to sit here.” I pointed to the dining table, gave them their letters and then walked away. 

Keira opened hers first, after reading the first paragraph, she got up and walked to the other room.

Half way through the food was delivered. I took note of Lucy, sitting on the couch. Staring into space. I didn’t want to disturb her, so I just sat back down. 

Alexia Putellas 

Hey, how’d it go?

Amelia Higgins

Unsure 🫤 

Lucy is on the couch. Not talking

Keira is in the spare room. 

Almost directly after I hit send, I heard Keira come out of the bedroom. I watched her walk towards the front door, put her shoes and jacket on and leave. 

“Keira! Wait!” I yelled out, getting up quickly. Lucy grabbed my arm, pulling me into a tight hug. 

“Let her go. It’s a lot. She just needs some time. Can we talk about the letter? If you don’t want to we can do it a different time?” 

I agreed to answer whatever questions she had. We sat and talked about it for a few hours. Lucy cried, I cried, then she was mad. Not at me but at them, at the situation that forced things to change so desperately. I kept checking my phone to see if Keira had messaged or called. She hadn’t. I was worried, Lucy could sense it. 

“I’ll go check on her ok. I’ll text you once I have. Thank you for telling me, and for letting me ask questions. I’m proud of you, now and forever.” 

“Love you luce.” We hugged again, she kissed my forehead and then off she went. 

3 days. It had been three days since Keira and Lucy came to my apartment. 3 days since Keira left. 3 days since Lucy texted me and told me Keira was fine, she just needed some time to comprehend everything. I was starting to lose it. 

“I don’t understand Ale. I wrote the letter, I gave it to her, and she just left? She won’t talk to me or even look at me. What more can I do?” 

“Give her time amor. She will come to you when she’s ready.” 

“Time? Time! How much more fucking time do I need to give her! This is ridiculous.” My voice was very loud, carrying through the hallway and reaching a hiding Keira. 

“Bebé, come here.” Alexia pulled me into her chest, kissing my temple and holding me tight. “How about we go to the beach tonight? Take some dinner and have a picnic?” She moved her hands to cup my face. I nodded as best I could. 

“Perfect, I’ll pick you up at 7.” She went to walk away but I pulled her back, pouting at her. She gave me a quick kiss and then dragged me along. 

Despite my best efforts, Keira continued to ignore me. Everyone started to notice, Lucy kept sending me sympathetic looks through training. It was pure hell. 

“Kei wait!” She continued to ignore me. “How much longer are you going to ignore me! I didn’t do anything wrong!” 

“You kept this all from me! For four years Amelia! Four fucking years. Then you tell Alexia first. Not me or Leah or even Lucy. You told Alexia! How is that fair?” The lock room went quiet. 

“Keira, come on. That’s not fair.” Lucy was trying hard to defuse the situation. 

“I am so sorry Keira that I didn’t tell you first. I’m sorry for not wanting to tell you the traumatic and disgusting details of what happened. But I did it to protect you. To protect this friendship.” 

“Were you ever going to tell me?” She was crying but also getting angrier. 

“No.” 

“Why not?” 

I looked around, the locker room was slowly thinning out but the captains, Mapi and Ingrid and Lucy remained. 

“Why would I? It doesn’t change anything Keira.” 

“I could’ve helped! You left and I could’ve helped you!” 

“Keira listen to me. You couldn’t help me. Not you, Leah, Lucy or anyone. I needed to figure shit out. How to live with what happened that night. I am sorry that I hurt you, truly I am, but telling you then would’ve only made you worry more or hurt you more.” 

She moved towards me, wrapping her arms around me and mumbling sorrys over and over again. It took a while for both of us to calm down. The locker room was empty by the time we left. Lucy and alexia were standing by their cars, wanting to ensure we were okay. 

Keira and Lucy left after a quick chat. Alexia and I milled around for a bit discussing our plans for tonight. We went our separate ways. 

Once I was home, I threw my dirty laundry in the washing machine, filled up the dishwasher and jumped in the shower. I washed my hair, shaved every single part of me that I could think of and then moisturised. 

Tonight was the night. I was sure of it. I sifted through my new lingerie, deciding on an orange set that looked amazing against my tanned skin. The thought of Alexia undressing me was exciting. 

Once I was completely satisfied with my outfit, I sat on the couch and waited. Thankfully I didn’t have to wait long because alexia buzzed on the intercoms. I got up and rushed to let her in, wanting to skip the whole dinner thing and go straight to dessert. 

“Dios mío, you look amazing.” She looked me up and down, taking a particularly long look at my legs that were barely hidden from my skirt. 

“Mm, so do you, let me get my keys?” I watched as she licked her lips and thrusted flowers into my hands. 

“For you!” She followed me inside as I got a vase for the flowers, I could fell her gaze on me as I moved around. 

“Okay, we need to leave now or we won’t leave at all.” There was a sense of urgency in her voice. As I looked up I noticed her eyes were completely black, she wanted this as much as I did. 

“Or we could just raincheck the beach? Stay in for the night?” I winked at her, before walking towards her, wrapping my arms around her waist. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes Alexia. Please. I will beg you.” Something switch in her. 

“Then beg.” Cockiness, eagerness, excitement. 

“Please fuck me. Right here, right now.” 

Her lips collided with mine. Hard. It was messy, a mix of teeth and tongue, fighting for dominance. I moaned as my back hit the bench, her hands coming to rest on my ass. 

Her lips made their way down my neck, sucking marks that I’d have to deal with later. 

“Up” she said as she grabbed my thighs. She helped me get onto the counter. She took a step back, staring at me. I felt small under her intense gaze. 

“We can stop if you want?” I didn’t want to stop, but I wanted her to be aware that we could if she wanted to. 

“I don’t want to. I just want to see how hot you are before I destroy you.” 

————————————————————————

I moaned as her hands slowly made their way up my thighs. Her mouth attacking my neck and collarbone, slowly making their way down to the collar of my shirt. 

“Can I take this off?” She stopped, looking at me. 

“Please.” It came out more as a moan than anything. 

“Holy fuck. You’re so perfect.” 

[lillaydee]

Shhh!!! Part 7

Celebrity!Joel Miller / F Reader

A reluctant celebrity contractor who has closed his heart for love meets a celebrity-hating Cafe on Wheels owner...

She HATES him. Thing is, he couldn't get enough of the coffee she makes...

Tag List:

@kirsteng42 @peelieblue @harriedandharassed @joelalorian @vickie5446 @inept-the-magnificent @maried01 @brittmb115 @peedrow @lovefreylove @liciafonseca

Let me know if you would like to be added/removed from the tag list.

Dividers by the awesome @saradika

Header by Moi cause I learned how to use Canva! Yay me!

WARNINGS: Grumpy Joel (The Last of Us), Protective Joel (The Last of Us), Good Parent Joel (The Last of Us), Joel is Bad at Feelings (The Last of Us), Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak (The Last of Us), Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Celebrity Joel Miller, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Smut, I'm Bad At Tagging, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags May Change, Hurt Joel (The Last of Us), Jealousy.

SERIES MASTER LIST

Part 6

Joel couldn’t help his smile forming when he saw Sarah’s car parked in the garage.

His BabyGirl was home. He had missed her, missed having her around the house, missed having her snuggle to him as they watched movies together, missed having her steal bits of his breakfast as he ate his every morning, missed having her yell out ‘alarm!’ at his door every morning. She inherited Anita Miller’s early riser gene, that’s for sure. Weird thing was, she wasn’t an early riser when Laura was around. She was only one year old then, but the day after Laura passed, and every single day since, with the exception on days she was sick, her eyes opened the moment whatever the time it was to be the definition of a ridiculously early riser and then made it her business to wake Joel up with her, ranging from wailing her lungs out, jumping on his bed ‘til he gave up, to shouting ‘alarm!’ outside his door.

Ellie got a rude awakening the first morning after she moved in with them, that’s for sure.

Joel was never a late riser, but Sarah made him seem like one. As tired as he was all those years ago, a single dad, being the sole person responsible for the little girl’s needs, he had to abide by her body clock, and that meant waking up before the sun did, making her breakfast. Although, he would be lying if he said he would have it any other way. Those precious sleepy times in the mornings were what he missed the most when she left to go to college. Just the two of them, Joel doing her bidding, Sarah perched on the kitchen counter telling him what to do until she was old enough to cook for him instead.

The first time she did that, his Mama had just passed, and it was the first birthday he had without the breakfast spread she usually made him. So Sarah, standing on a small stool, cooked, at age eight, and Joel willingly ate the shell-filled scrambled eggs and burnt toast she made for him, his heart full, his eyes wet, her happy face seeing her Dad eat the breakfast she made for him making him think, at least for a moment, that he had done a good job raising her. She had since learnt that you don’t cook the shells with the eggs but always made sure to include some on his birthdays just to remind him of that first time. And he would eat the shell without fail, pretending to be annoyed with her for it every single time.

That morning Ellie trudged into the kitchen complaining that it would be the last day she could wake up at a respectable hour, since Sarah was due to arrive later that day. Bye-bye waking up at a reasonable hour, she had grumbled, despite the excitement of seeing her big sister again.

Joel laughed, plating his eggs and pouring Ellie her cereal. Hmmm… Ellie thought, he laughed, but there was something off about his laugh. He looked happy, excited, even, maybe he was looking forward to Sarah being home. She woke up to a text from her that she was already on her way and was due to arrive around 3pm. But as happy as Joel seemed to be, something was not quite right. Ellie tried and tried to figure out what it was, but for the life of her, she couldn’t.

Until Joel got an old 3-in-1 packet of coffee he got as a sample months ago out of the cupboard and made himself a cup of coffee. He looked full of thought as he stared at the mug in his hand, took a deep breath, a look of longing and dissatisfaction clearly on his face as he took his first sip.

Oh… she thought. He’s missing your coffee… or… to be more hopeful, you?

“You know, Joel, Sarah won’t be here for hours. We do have time to go to the rec centre if you want coffee. I know you like the coffee Lil makes,” she tried, not looking at him, pretending to be busy looking at her phone instead. This was a delicate task, she knew that. She must never let on that she knew he was crushing on you. That would just scare him and make him stay away from you.

Joel paused as he was taking a sip, looking as if he was contemplating the suggestion. He stood up from his leaning position on the counter, hand pressing down on it, his fingers accidentally brushing on the broken coffee machine. He immediately turned around towards it, staring at the machine for a few long seconds before telling her no.

Ellie didn’t say anything, despite the disappointment she felt. She knew what just happened. He saw the machine and was now reminded of his late wife. She and Sarah had a theory. He loved her so much and never wanted to fall for another, maybe he felt as if that was a betrayal to her memory. That must be why he refused to get rid of that machine. Uncle Tommy and Angela often reminded him she was gone, and Joel had always, always walked away every time they did that.

Sarah never dared say anything about this to Joel. She didn’t remember her Mom, and Joel never talked about her to help with that bit. Her Nana didn’t talk about her either, which was weird. Neither did Mrs Adler, the lady who looked after her when Joel was working. She remembered asking Joel about her one time, exactly one time when she was much younger, and Joel changed the subject. He was quiet after that, didn’t really look at her and was noticeably down for a few days. When she asked Uncle Tommy, Tommy told her that her Mom was the love of her Dad’s life, and losing her, talking about her, hurt him a lot. Tommy didn’t know much about her Mom, not knowing her that well. But Sarah made do with the few stories she could get from him and made up her mind not to trouble Joel with such questions again.

Joel busied himself getting the house ready for Sarah’s return. Washing her sheets, airing, dusting and vacuuming her room, the likes. He ordered lunch for himself and Ellie, eating in silence, before deciding to go out and stock his fridge and pantry with Sarah’s favourites. They were planning to drive out to the cabin in the mountains that he and Tommy bought a few years back the next day, so he needed to get provisions too.

He drove his truck in silence. No music, no nothing. He was excited Sarah was coming home, and nothing was going to spoil that for him. Not even the sight of the broken coffee machine that put to bed his excitement about getting a cup of good coffee from you. He wandered the aisles of the store alone, getting what he needed, the cart filling up to the brim in no time at all. He stopped at the coffee section, looking at the selection of fancy coffee he could get to satisfy his caffeine addiction for the week. His mornings would be filled with breakfasts and brunches with Sarah, Ellie and Tommy, all he had with them without the worry of work or schools or extra classes before Sarah started her internship the next Monday. He wouldn’t have time to go queueing up for coffee, not that there were any within a 30 minutes’ drive from the cabin anyway.

He asked the young man who was arranging some boxes of coffee on the shelves what he could get to replace good coffee without having to buy a machine for it – and the young man recommended a box of drip coffee for him to try. Just tear off the top of the packet, open and place it on a mug, pour in hot water and wait for it to finish dripping. The brand even came with a variety of strength. Joel got the strongest one they had and drove home.

He drove his truck home in silence again. Once the truck stopped, he realized that he had ended up at the rec centre parking lot. What? How’d that happen? He sat there, stupefied by what just happened. He laughed at himself for a bit, chastising his old mind for the habitual drive he had been making these past couple of weeks. Ellie wasn’t there, he didn’t need to pick her up. His brain just went there. It was a habitual thing. That was all. His mind went on autopilot and his body followed.

Although… now that he was here… he thought, glancing at the corner that would take him to your truck. He could, technically, just… go over and get a cup of coffee from you. That cup of sample coffee he had did nothing for him. Maybe he could just…? He reached for his gear knob, contemplating… it’s almost three in the evening. Was that too late to get coffee? He didn’t want to lay awake all night, like he did last night, which didn’t actually make sense since he only had one cup at your place. And it wasn’t even the extra strong six shot thing. It was just a regular cup of black coffee. Yet, he laid awake all night, unable to sleep, thankful that he could at least sleep in a little since Ellie wouldn’t be going to Frank’s class for the rest of the week.

It befuddled him. Why couldn’t he sleep? His mind went to the way you stood in your kitchen, dressed in a robe, making his cup of coffee for him. How your damp hair was up in a messy bun instead of the regular pony tail, your face completely devoid of the usual coloured lip balm you continuously refreshed throughout the day at the truck, how your fingers wrapped around the spoon like thing the coffee ground was in, working the simpler, but still complicated (to his mind, at least) machine you had in your small kitchen. He didn’t see you put anything extra in the mug, so he couldn’t find reason as to why he couldn’t sleep. He thought some more, looking for clues as to why this might be, and his mind wandered to the way your tongue stuck out a little as you steamed some milk for yourself, how your lips wrapped around the rim of the mug as you drank your coffee, how they scrunched up a little as you swallowed, your tongue licking the edges of them as you cleansed them off the frothy coffee that stuck to them…

So, no answer as to why he couldn’t sleep. He wasn’t going to risk a sleepless night tonight, not when he knew Sarah was going to wake him early the next day. So he’d better not get the coffee.

But he was here. His eyes remained glued to the corner. He didn’t really know why, but they were. His engine was still on, gear was on Drive, but his foot remained firmly on the brake pedal, eyes looking for something he couldn’t seem to identify. His heart skipped a beat as someone walked out, sitting up straight a little, straining his neck out to see who it was. He huffed a laugh at his own silliness when the person turned out to be some random lady walking out to her car, which he was now blocking.

His phone beeped. A text from Sarah. ‘Back home safe!’ she exclaimed, a selfie of her and Ellie in his garage accompanying the text. He took his foot off the brake pedal and drove out, excited to see his little girl.

“Food’s here!” Tommy’s muffled voice rang out as he walked in through the front door, the handles of a take-out bag in his mouth, his arms laden with more. Ellie and Sarah squealed, running towards him to get the bags off him, running with them back into the kitchen, where Joel was taking out plates from the cabinet.

“Sure, get the bags. Don’t hug your Uncle Tommy or anything!” Tommy yelled after them, Sarah coming back to let herself be squeezed to near death by her one and only uncle. Ellie received a hug and hair tussle from Tommy as he entered the kitchen, a hand slapping his brother’s shoulder, the other grabbing a beer from the fridge.

A very merry sushi and ramen dinner was followed by movie night, the four of them sprawled out in front of the TV, some movie about vampires or something playing. Joel didn’t care. All he could think about was his Sarah was right there, snuggling up to him, his Ellie on his other side, his brother Tommy laying on the love seat, his feet dangling off the edge. His family was here. So he watched the weird, vampire movie Sarah had picked, and watched the second one, where it had now mysteriously become a werewolf movie, and didn’t complain.

Tommy’s phone rang halfway through the second movie, and he slipped out back to answer it. Joel subconsciously got annoyed. Tommy had always done this. He would get a phone call or a text in the middle of family time, leave and then brag about his hook ups the day after, before trying to convince him to join in the next time. One time. Just one time, stay and finish the movies, Tommy. The girls were growing up, and they would leave the nest for good soon. Enjoy this while it lasted, Tommy, for God’s sake. Like it or not, they were the only family he had.

But then, Tommy didn’t leave. He was still outside, pacing the backyard in slow, steady steps, occasionally smoking and laughing, a smile evident on his face the whole time, even from where Joel was sitting. Okay, this was weird. Maybe he was just sweet talking whoever the poor young lady was on the other end of that call into meeting him after? But the second movie ended and he was still there, still talking, still laughing to whoever was at the other end. The girls got up and hugged him goodnight, Sarah being extra smoochy with him, telling him he’ll get his usual wakeup call the next morning. They went outside and hugged Tommy goodnight, the man finally hanging up, asking Joel if he’d join him outside for a beer.

“Hey, Joel, when you said you wanted to retire… was it just the privacy thing?”

Joel took a deep breath, took another sip of his beer, and nodded.

“That, and I guess… Let’s face it Tommy, we’re not getting any younger. I went to bed every night and every morning I wake up, I swear something on my body that functioned perfectly well the night before stopped working. I sneezed the other day and almost threw my back out.”

Tommy bellowed, spluttering beer everywhere.

“Also… this city… it’s just… noisy. The traffic. The smog. There are cameras everywhere… I just can’t see myself growing old here.”

“So where? If not here, where?”

Joel shrugged. “I don’t know. Somewhere quiet. Maybe I can raise sheep. I don’t know. Just, not here. Not in a city.”

“Somewhere like Nana’s and Pops’s?”

Their late Papa’s parents lived on a small farm. Tommy was only four when they died, but every Christmas ‘til then, they would travel up north and had a white Christmas. They were the best Christmases Joel could remember. His Pops and Papa would pull the two of them on a sled up a hill and they would sled down all day until Nana and Mama called them in to warm up with a cup of hot chocolate and marshmallows. Although why they were so worried, he didn’t know. He wasn’t cold. Tommy’s face and ears would be all pink and so were his, but they felt nice and warm, feeling so free and exhilarated from all the fun they had.

He wanted Sarah and Ellie’s children to remember spending Christmas with him like that. He wanted to teach his grandchildren how to chop wood, how to build things, wanted to let them play with animals, the way his Pops and Papa did with him. He wanted to make them hot chocolate with marshmallows and drink them by the wood fire. He wanted to have their stockings with their names on them hung above the fireplace, the way his and Tommy’s were at their grandparents’.

He hadn’t realized he had said all that thought out loud. His mind snapped back to the present with Tommy looking at him with warmth in his eyes.

“Don’t snap at me, brother, but… may I ask, if you were planning to have someone with you there? You know, to grow old with?”

Joel went quiet.

“Look, Joel, I get it. You loved Laura. But she’s gone, man, it’s been a long time. The girls are leaving soon. You’re really telling me you’re never going to find someone to share your life with?”

Joel took a really deep breath, “You know nothing about my life with Laura, Tommy.”

“I know, and I’m not trying to pry. Really, I’m not. You have all the rights in the world not to ever talk about Laura with me, but if you are gonna have that future you are thinking of having, are you really going to live it alone? That future sounds lovely, Joel, but doing that alone? I don’t know… it just sounds… lonely… sorry Joel…”

Joel shook his head, waving his beer at Tommy, telling him it was okay. A thought suddenly came to him. This was unlike Tommy. He was non-combative, for the first time ever, even when asking about the retirement. He looked at his brother intently, the younger man suddenly withdrawing into his seat, looking flustered.

“Why are you asking me about this, Tommy? Why the sudden interest in my retirement? I thought you were against it? You were, just last week. Why all these questions now?”

Tommy looked down at his beer bottle, his fingers suddenly busy peeling the label off it. Even in the dark, Joel could see his brother blush. His interest was peaked. He leaned forward.

“What are you not telling me, little brother?”

Tommy huffed a laugh, glee written all over his feature.

“I met someone,” he said simply, before smiling like some lovestruck idiot, covering his face with his hands, his shoulders shaking from laughing at himself.

Joel thought for sure he imagining things. His little brother, Tommy, the one who had never had a steady girlfriend, the one who slept with a different woman every other week, was in love?

“You remember my high school buddy Jimmy?”

Joel nodded. The boy who gave Tommy a ride to school in his old Jeep.

“Well, I ran into him. He lives in Boston now but was here to celebrate his Mom’s birthday.”

Joel mulled over that information for a while, waiting for Tommy to finish speaking. But the man stopped. Joel had to take a shot, seeing as the man was not showing any interest in continuing his story, distracted by the label on the beer bottle again.

“Okay, so… you’re with him now?” he asked, cautiously.

“What? No! He was having lunch with his sister, you remember Maria?”

Oh yeah… he remembered her… but wait…

“Didn’t you hate her growing up? Called her a leech or something?”

Maria was always hanging around Jimmy. Being the surprise baby, the only girl in the family, born ten years after Jimmy and his brothers, she didn’t really have anyone her age to hang out with in the neighbourhood. Jimmy and Tommy hated having her around, leaving her in the dust on their BMXs while she pedalled her tricycle as fast as she could after them, to no avail. She would go running back crying to tell on them every time they did, a punishment for not letting her hang out with them always following. Soon, Maria became a nightmare for the boys Tommy’s age in the neighbourhood. Their parents, his own included, would actually pay her to spy on the boys. She was hard to shake off too, just like a leech. The fact that she was leeching money off their parents for doing that was just the final thump of the gavel on the nickname, as far as everyone’s concerned.

Tommy laughed, “Guess what she does for a living now?” he asked.

Joel shrugged, curiosity peaking.

“She’s an insurance investigator.”

Joel stared at his brother for a split second before throwing his head back and laughing so hard he almost toppled over. Tommy joined him, clutching at his tummy, laughing so hard their stomachs hurt.

It took them a while to calm down, but Joel finally asked his brother.

“So, you’re dating her now? For real?”

Tommy shook his head, “Just a drink or two last week. We’ve mostly been calling and texting. She’s out of town right now.”

“A drink or two, no breakfast the morning after?” Joel asked, disbelieving.

Tommy huffed, shaking his head, shyly glancing at his brother. Joel almost choked on the sip he was taking.

“You haven’t slept with her?”

Tommy scratched the back of his neck, shaking his head, a silly, goofy smile on his face.

Wow. Like, wow. Wow.

“Are you gonna make fun of me?” he asked, warily.

Joel didn’t know what to say. Wow.

“I really like her, Joel. I’ve never felt like this about anyone. She’s smart, sweet, funny, I can’t stop thinking about her,” Tommy laughed at himself, aware that this was not how he worked. Ever. “I think I’m in love, and I haven’t even kissed her yet,” he confessed, looking at his big brother, eyes pleading that Joel didn’t laugh at him for his vulnerability. “I don’t even know if she liked me like that, but when I think about this time next year, I see her there. I think about ten years from now, I see her there. When you were talking about a white Christmas like the ones we had with Pops and Nana, I see her there. I want that with her. Always. She travels a lot for work, and all I could think of is, I want to stop all this, sell everything, so I could be with her. Go where she needs to go.”

Joel looked at his brother, speechless, a smile on his face.

“That’s why I’m asking about you. I’m wondering if your decision to retire had something to do with a lady. Cause retirement is extremely enticing right now for me, and it is everything to do with Maria.”

Joel gave his brother a small laugh, shaking his head, before downing the rest of his beer.

For the first time in a long time, the two talked into the night without bickering.

Joel woke up the next morning to a brighter than usual room. It was almost eight. He shot up out of bed, going to the kitchen, finding Sarah and Ellie unpacking a bunch of food they had gotten.

“Morning sleepyhead,” Sarah cooed, giving her Dad a kiss. Ellie came and bumped his chest with her head, telling him they heard him and Tommy talking into the night, and therefore decided to give them both a break this morning. Tommy was still sleeping in the guestroom.

“We went to Lil’s truck to get you coffee but the line was long. We had already gotten the food, we didn’t want it to get cold,” Ellie said, looking apologetic.

“That’s okay kiddo, thanks for the thought,” he said, kissing the top of her head. He took the drip coffee he got the day before, and fiddled with the first packet, looking at the box for instructions, Sarah and Ellie fussing about to help him. The three of them somehow managed to figure it out, and Tommy walked out to find all three of them bent over, watching coffee drip out of the packet with bated breath. Once the mug was filled, Sarah took the packet off the mug and got rid of it, and she, Ellie and Tommy watched as Joel took the first sip, holding their breaths.

Their faces fell as Joel’s lips turned down a bit, his head wiggling side to side to tell them it was only okay, before taking another sip.

“Does Lil DoorDash? We could get it delivered?” Sarah asked. Ellie shook her head no.

“It’s okay, guys, this is fine. I’ll live,” Joel said, going to the island to eat.

“Who’s Lil?” Tommy asked.

“Lily, my boss at the coffee truck. She makes the best coffee. Joel loves them. We tried to get some this morning but the truck was busy.”

Tommy nodded, clearing his throat, “You know you could make good coffee yourself if you just buy…”

Joel’s eyes snapped up at his brother, shutting him up.

“Okay,” Tommy surrendered, eyes looking at the completely useless, ancient coffee machine sitting on the counter. “So, we leaving for the cabin today, or tomorrow?”

“Today,” Joel said, “We just need to get ice on the way,” he sipped on the coffee again. It’s good, really, it was. There’s just something missing. He needed to know what you put in your coffee. He had to find out. It must be the beans or something. He read that some people spray stuff on the coffee, some even mix in sugar or something or other, so that must be the missing link. He needed to figure it out. But for now, this drip coffee thing would have to do. Until Monday, this would have to do.

They piled everything they needed into his and Tommy’s trucks, Tommy telling them he needed to stop at his place to get something he forgot. He must have left them ready packed, it took him minutes to get it, placed it on the floor of his backseat and off they went. They arrived at the cabin just in time to set up and watch the sun go down as a family. They lazed by the fire that night, playing cards, roasting marshmallows and laughing at each other, with each other, just enjoying the time they had together.

Everyone generally woke up early when at the cabin, the sunrise was just too good to miss. Joel stayed at the spot later than everyone else, just wanting to enjoy the view a little longer. The quiet was too good to pass, in his opinion. So everyone went back to the cabin before him. He came back in to see Tommy and the girls standing in front of Tommy’s espresso maker, which apparently was the thing he went to pick up at his place. They placed the coffee – six shots of espressos – in front of Joel and waited for him to take a sip. Made from the finest beans, Tommy said, the beans were damned expensive too, he claimed.

Joel took a sip, and to the disappointment of the three, he made the same face he made with the drip coffee, thanking them for their effort. It’s good, he said, taking another sip before getting up to start breakfast.

Those few days were filled with just relaxing as a family, swimming in the lake, hiking, cooking, eating, just enjoying their time with each other. But every so often, Sarah and Ellie would watch as Joel sat alone looking out at the breathtaking view, wondering what he was thinking about. They had made the coffee for Joel in hopes that he would just perk up, seeing as he was so happy to get a good cup these two weeks. But that didn’t seem to work. He drank that coffee every morning they were at the cabin, seemingly satisfied with it, but according to Ellie, something was off.

Ellie didn’t get it. She watched you make coffee for Joel – there was nothing special about it. It was ground coffee, and hot water. That was it. That was what Tommy did, per her instruction. But his reaction to the coffee was nothing like the ones he had when he drank the coffee you made. Even Sarah seemed disappointed, and she had only seen his reaction once on that FaceTime on Monday. Sarah didn’t see anything different in Joel’s demeanour since her return, he was, as far as she was concerned, the same Dad she had always known, and to Tommy, he was the same old Joel. But Ellie saw a different Joel these past two weeks, and that Joel disappeared the day Sarah came back, although the other two couldn’t see the difference.

Sure, he seemed happy, or as happy as he could be before these past two weeks, but Ellie had seen how happy he could really get, and she wanted to see that happy man again. So did Sarah.

Tommy was curious, hearing Ellie talk about what a different man he was these past two weeks was like hearing about the boy he used to know as a kid. The boy who had disappeared and he hadn’t seen in forever. How happy. How smiley. How bouncy. How light. He begged the girls to show him the videos Sarah couldn’t stop referring to, but the girls didn’t want to show him, telling him there were other people involved in the videos, and they didn’t want to invade their privacies. As someone whose privacy was always tampered with, Tommy could understand, but his interest was really peaked.

So when they returned to LA, feeling refreshed from their long weekend at the cabin, Tommy decided to check this coffee out. The coffee that made his brother so happy, according to Ellie. He told Joel he wanted to come along to the rec centre, see if there was anything he could volunteer for during the remaining few weeks he had off, earning him a weirded out look from his older brother. But Joel relented, bringing Tommy with him that Monday when he took Ellie to the rec centre for class.

Tommy walked in with Ellie, supposedly to go meet the director of the rec centre, as Joel went to get his coffee. Ellie took him to the truck, hiding behind the nearest wall. The two watched as Joel approached the truck, looking jittery as fuck. “That’s Lil, that’s my boss,” Ellie whispered, pointing to you, who was standing outside with an older man, not talking to him, but smiling uncontrollably at him. The man just looked flustered, looking as if he was avoiding your teasing smiles, before going to clear the tables.

They watched as you clocked Joel’s presence, beaming at him, welcoming him back to the truck. They watched as the usually stoic Joel Miller got all smiley and light, nodding, saying “please” as you asked if he wanted his usual coffee. He greeted your Uncle Bill when you introduced them, enduring what seemed to be an overly tight handshake from the older man, before following you into the truck. They watched as he leaned against the counter, smiling and happily chatting with you as you made his coffee for him, his arms relaxed, hands placed on the counter on either side of him, as opposed to being across his chest when he talked to anyone who were not his family.

And Tommy watched disbelievingly as he saw his brother took a sip, his eyes closing, his head tilted back, his body relaxing, a dreamy smile on his face.

Okay, who the fuck was this man, and what had he done to his brother Joel?

And if an alien didn’t invade his brother’s body, that must be a damned good cup of coffee.

He needed to try that coffee. Like, now.

He said goodbye to Ellie and walked up to the window of the truck. As if some miraculous circus show was happening, he watched in horror as Joel took the apron off the hook by the door and put it on, tying it effortlessly behind his back.

His older brother’s face morphed into one of a deer being caught in headlights when he turned towards him with a beaming smile on his face, only to realize it was him, and not some random customer.

“Hello, Joel. I’ll have what you were having, please,” Tommy said, a teasing smile on his face.

Part 8