#thread: somewhere

[oscahpitlane]

an rc car forum discusses 9-year-old Oscar Piastri

[h1stoa]

thing from twitter…

[goosterbold]

now that we've seen everything, here's dev + finals on the talksprites i did! (art direction by @friendlyfrankenstein for his talksprite alongside some sketches in here ironing out his color scheme) from initial pitches to really baking in, this was fun to work on (please see alts for detailed notes)

[hoshiina]

pairing: hoshina soushirou x gn!reader (no prns)

request: hiii idk if u take these kinds of requests but id like to see jealous reader (preferably if reader and hoshina are already in an established relationship and reader works in a different division, meaning they dont get to see each other much) like maybe he’s used to calling okonogi “my dear” and its the first reader heard him call anyone with a pet name like that and she starts to overthink and gets pouty/ sulky and hoshina doesnt notice it at first but when he does he starts teasing her which doesnt help HAHAHAHA if its ok can it be hurt/ comfort and end in fluff & HELLO!! can i request an angst to fluff with hoshina where reader thinks he likes okonogi more than him especially since he is against revealing him n reader’s relationship to the third division (for other reasons of course). hopefully this isnt too specific!! i hope u have a wonderful day:))

notes: hoshina calls the reader “darling”, hurt comfort, him accepting jealousy a valid emotion (very important to me i fear), so sorry i merged the reqs!! i hope this was satisfactory for both TY FOR THE REQ!, this is a twt thread i thought about while writing this, (l/n) mention in the bonus part

wc: 1400

Oh, you hated when this happened. You hated when your heart started to tighten in this horrible way you knew well. You hated being jealous.

You hated how self centered it made you feel and how it ate away at your thoughts and feelings. It made you feel like your good thoughts were disintegrating to horrible ones. However, what you hated even more was how it meant you were doubting his love for you— and that was the last thing you wanted to do. You didn't want to doubt him, nor did you doubt him, but when the jealousy got to your head it was over. You were stuck in a loop.

To top it off, the cause of this all was truly harmless and hardly that big of a deal, but that's usually how most anxious thoughts start. They start little.

You were called to visit the 3rd Division to help with research on a field you were particularly knowledgeable on, and you happened to hear Hoshina's laughter from the operation room, so you went in to take a peek.

“It was not that funny,” Okonogi was saying to him, but Hoshina only continued to laugh.

“Yes, it definitely was,” he laughed. “I knew Kafka would forget about that hole in the training grounds again.”

“Why don't you remind him, then?”

“Comedic relief, of course.”

“Alright then.”

“Okonogi dear, you're no fun,” he said.

They said a few more things, but you couldn't seem to focus on their words. ‘Dear’? Was that merely a simple pet name? Or was there more to them than you initially expected?

Oh, the worries started to fill your head. And they were things you didn't want to be worried about— Okonogi was always so sweet to you when you popped by and you knew Hoshina loved you. The last thing you wished to do was doubt them, nor did you want to make things awkward around them. There were just so many things that you just didn't know about, being in a different division as him. You doubted they even knew you were dating, and the voice in your head would only get louder.

It was then that Hoshina saw you at the doorway and called over to you.

“Are you done with work?” he asked, his voice excited and hopeful. Your heart stung.

“Not quite yet,” you tried to sound disappointed, but for the right reason. “I’ll get going now.”

You walked away from the room as quickly as you could, seemingly naturally. You didn't want to be there and you didn't want to talk to him before calming down first— you were sure you'd say something silly if you spoke now.

Yet, immediately you heard footsteps behind you and a hand you knew well grab yours.

“Soushirou?” you asked, turning to look behind you.

“What's wrong?” he asked, his voice soft and visible concern in his eyes. “Do you feel unwell?”

Pang in your chest again.

“Not at all, nothing's wrong?” you said, but you could see the way he pursued his lips— the hurt in his eyes from how you wouldn't tell him what was troubling you. Gosh, why did you feel this way? Why must you feel much silly emotions.

“It's truly so stupid,” you said. “I'll tell you another time.”

“Alright,” he said, letting go of your hand. That one was your bad— you knew he wouldn't push you any further, even if he wanted to.

Dinner that night was awkward. You weren't even that jealous, but the fact that you felt something was gnawing at your brain upset you. Not to mention the fact that you were keeping something from him made you feel even worse.

“How was your training?” you asked.

“Alright, I suppose,” he said. There was a horrible moment of silence. You weren’t sure what to say.

“I think I’m getting a hang of this new technique,” he finally continued, but you wouldn’t look up at him— you were afraid he wouldn’t look your way.

“I see,” you said. “That’s really cool… I’d like to see someday.”

“I’ll show you as soon as its better,” he said.

The rest of dinner felt… quiet. The two of you still talked throughout it but it was terribly different from the usual lively catch-up you’d have— it was heart-wrenching quite frankly.

So as you’d imagine, going to sleep was even worse. You subconsciously faced away from him and pretended to fall asleep quickly, hoping he’d sleep soon too. You hated what was going on, but you just couldn’t bring this up. You knew it was silly and you knew you’d forget soon enough. You’d probably regret making such a big deal out of it.

“Darling,” he said, and immediately you turned to face him. He was already facing you. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t feel like it… I’m sorry I pushed you.”

Gosh, you thought. You gulped. You wished he wasn’t so kind.

“You’re going to think I’m so annoying though,” you said, voice cracking in a way you didn’t wish for it to and immediately his eyes widened.

“Darling, what happened?” he asked, suddenly worried. “You could never be annoying to me.”

“I… heard you…” you started and he just listened— he waited. “I heard you calling Okonogi, ‘dear.’ And suddenly I—”

“I’m so sorry,” he said, without hesitation. “I hadn’t even realized I did that, it was completely by habit. I won’t anymore.”

You finally met his eyes and the way he looked so horrified he had made you feel bad was so prominent in his eyes.

“No, Soushirou,” you said. “I didn’t mean for you to have to change anything— I know so well that both of you are so sweet to me and there’s nothing going on. I just—”

“Darling, calm down,” he said, cutting you off. “You’ve done nothing wrong, why are you beating yourself up? This was my bad and that’s about it. None of this is you.”

“I—,” you said, taking a moment to collect yourself. “I hate to be jealous, Soushirou. I’m so sorry.”

“Why?” he asked and you paused to look up at him, utterly confused.

“Why?” he asked again.

“It’s such an… ugly feeling,” you said.

“Is it?”

“Is it… not?”

“What’s wrong with being jealous?”

“Because it’s like I’m doubting you or something… when I don’t at all.”

“I think that’s a different thing entirely, no?” he asked. “You can know in your head that I’m in love with you and still feel something else— they’re not always the same. A little jealousy is perfectly healthy, I think.”

“Oh…” you said. You wanted to say so much more but there was so much to process first. Your heart swelled with such warmth.

“I get jealous too. I hate when Narumi gets too close to you or bothers you when I’m not around,” he continued on. “But in my head I know you’d never do anything to hurt me and you’d stop him if he crosses a line. I’ll try to stop if that bothers you though.”

“No,” you said. “That sounds… nice. I’m rather… happy… you were a jealous actually. But I’ll make sure to keep some more distance between Captain Narumi next time.”

He laughed. “Sounds good. But you tell me if there’s anything more that bothers you okay. I’ll fix myself up.”

“I will,” you said and he kissed your forehead. “But Soushirou, I don’t mind much anymore. You can stay the way you are.”

“No, no, stop overthinking. You need to sleep now, you have an early morning tomorrow.”

“Yeah. You too Sou,” you said and he hummed.

Once you were certain he was asleep, you kissed his cheek and slipped your hand into his. You liked holding his hand when you fell asleep, but you weren’t sure if it made it harder for him to fall asleep.

“Thank you,” you whispered to him. “You mean the world to me.”

You lightly kissed his cheek, careful not to wake him up, but to your surprised he smiled. He squeezed your hand and without opening his eyes, “You missed,” he said.

He kissed you on the lips and you laughed, snuggling up against him. “You were awake.”

“I was waiting for you to hold my hand,” he said. “I like when we hold hands when we sleep.”

BONUS:

From then on, Hoshina stopped calling Okonogi “dear” as much, and it’d only happen when it truly slipped out of him from force of habit.

“Vice-Captain, you’ve started dating (l/n), haven’t you?” she said to him one day while they were sorting through files.

“How... did you know?” he asked. The two of you had been dating for quite a while now, but he was more surprised she guessed you correctly.

“It’s terribly obvious you’re completely in love,” she said.

He blinked. And then he laughed. 

He’d have to ask you that night if he can share the news with everyone, properly, then.

[beneathsilverstars]

been thinking about the differences between SASASAP and ISAT lately. because looking just at ISAT and the two hats ending, you'd think loop went through the exact same house as our siffrin, but looking at SASASAP, it's different. it's mixed up. it's obviously a condensed prototype.

but. that doesn't have to mean it's a different universe entirely.

maybe that's just what happens after a thousand loops.

the house warped in act 5. siffrin lost their shit and the house got changed and corrupted, far past its baseline king uncanniness. so it wouldn't be too out-of-the-question for it to be able to warp in more subtle ways as well, due to a more subtle breakdown.

like a jpeg uploaded and downloaded a thousand times, siffrin changed, and the loops changed. over a thousand loops of efficiency, the house got more efficient. rooms combining. items moving. data compressing. and of course, run in a changed house, the script changed as well. it did so slowly, one bit at a time, over a thousand loops of zoned-out half-listening – and by the time siffrin would have noticed each difference, they were already used to it. (and in the moments that they did look at a room that was less familiar than it should be and realize that they had no idea where to find the key, well. that's just classic siffrin, isn't it.)

through sheer repetition, siffrin was corrupted, and the loops and the house along with them. all purpose lost, all signals distorted, until finally they couldn't recognize the meaning in any of it. it was all noise and despair.

so they made a wish. and the loop restarted. not just a reboot, but something more complete.

the data was backed up onto a star – a guide, a warning, a reference – and the loops were factory reset. and for the first time in a thousand loops, siffrin woke up to a clear mind and the crisp sound of birdsong.

[recurring-polynya]

Sorry if you have been asked this before but I was wondering is there some reason why Kubo never really showed too much regarding Rukia’s feelings towards Renji ? It’s not only her but even Gin & Ichigo with Rangiku & Orihime !! Like he gives enough so people can sense something but he doesn’t give a lot away. Is it about interpretation or he just simply doesn’t want to write romance too deeply ??

Kubo has said quite plainly that he doesn't want to put romance at the forefront. I think he's said this various times in various ways, but here's a pretty definitive quote from an interview he gave at the 2018 San Diego Comicon:

Q: Speaking of Ichigo's relationships with his friends, there seems to be a love triangle between Ichigo, Rukia, and Orihime. Do you delve more into this in later volumes? A. Tite Kubo: (laughs) I get asked about that a lot! I don't want to make Bleach into a love story because there are much more exciting things about their personalities and things that they can do instead of getting into the romance aspect of their relationships.

Kubo's answers are sometimes a little cheeky, but I don't see any reason to read this as anything other than face value. He may have had additional reasons to leave romance out of the story--it's a shounen and he didn't think that stuff would be of interest to the core of his readers, he didn't want to deal with angry ship opinions, etc, etc, but the long and short of it is the guy said "this is not a kissing story" and it's not.

Not to get too nitpicky--this was an interview, there's some degree of translation involved--but I actually find this kind of funny because while I agree that it's not a romance, I would *absolutely* classify Bleach as a love story. Bleach is about 600 love stories. It's about the love between a boy and his precious friends, the love between big brothers and little sisters, about the love between captains and lieutenants, about love that can only be expressed in battle, about love that turns poisonous and corrupts, about love that saves and purifies, about a love for the world you live in and want, with all your heart to make better. And while it's not a romance, I think it is about romantic love as well.

So, even though that's the real reason, I think it is also perfectly in-character for Rukia to act the way she does and I want to yap about it. I can tell right now this is gonna get long, so I am going to put it under a cut.

Just to get it out of the way up-front, I will briefly cover the other characters you mentioned. Both of this could easily merit their own essay, but I want to talk about Rukia, so I'm gonna keep it brief.

My interpretation on Gin and Rangiku is that they were not on romantic terms at any point of the canon timeline. My guess is that when she made it to the Academy and caught up with him again, it very quickly became obvious that he was no longer being genuine with her, and I think she cut him off. He is on a mission for revenge; she doesn't understand why he acts the way he does and distances herself from it. That being said, I (and I think many people?) find their parting scenes to be deeply, tragically romantic. I think this depends on your definition of "romantic." It never would have worked. He ruined it. If he had lived, it would change nothing. But Othello loved Desdemona, too. A story being a tragedy doesn't preclude it being a love story.

Ichigo is a teenage boy with a heart the size of three worlds. I think the amount of emotion he would like to leak out of his body is zero. I think the amount of emotion that does leak out of his body is so high that the signal-to-noise ratio makes it very difficult to discern anything meaningful. My reading of Bleach is that he does have special feelings for Orihime and that they are a slightly different flavor than he has for other people, but it's super hard to tell because he makes the same loving puppy eyes at Chad and Uryuu and Renji and Grimmjow. This guy is constantly torn between loving everyone he knows with the luminosity of a small star and trying to act too cool for school. Also, he's very young. He's still figuring this out, too.

Okay! Let's talk about Rukia!!!

The thing about Rukia is that she is really, really uncomfortable expressing affection. In the flashback scenes where she talks about how much she admired Kaien and Miyako, she's shown standing far away and looking at them from a great distance. When Byakuya compliments her bankai, she squeezes her eyes shut and has to look away.

Ukitake comments at how remarkably "open" he finds her to be with Orihime, even though what they are actually doing is training. You want to see a love confession? Here's Rukia's love confession to Orihime from We Do (Knot) Always Love You (Renji is here, too):

Feeling a little shy and fidgety, Rukia hesitated a few times as she replied to Orihime. "Th-that's because, Inoue I consider you……my……b-best girl-friend! So therefore……I thought…I should tell you first……" She spoke as her last few words became a little mumbled. "……your face is redder than the time I asked you to marry me ya know." "Sh-shut up!!"

A thing I really like about this though, is that while it is portrayed as something that sometimes holds Rukia back in her relationships, it's not portrayed as some sort of fatal flaw. She's a private person, and that's ok. This isn't a quality we often get to see female characters have. If this were a romance story, maybe we'd have to see her overcome this, but it's not! It's an action story and Rukia is a cool and stoic character, which is exactly how she wants to be!

I'm always pounding my shoe on the table over this, but I really, genuinely think that a significant chunk of Renji's character/personality design was specifically to be Rukia's love interest, which I think is based as Hell of him. He's good-looking, he's cool, he's devoted to her, he's powerful along the rules of the worldbuilding, but not in a way that overshadows her. And he meets her where she is.

The scene where Renji carries Rukia down the 8,000 flights of Soukyoku Hill stairs is, in my opinion, the most romantic scene in all of literature. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Rukia is so upset about being rescued, she is cannot stand the fact that anyone cares about her, or worse, that they would risk themselves for her. It's so clear that Renji understands this, and in the gentlest possible terms, asks her to accept his (and Ichigo's) help, as if she has any say in it at this point. He doesn't even make eye contact as he very obliquely says Let us care about you.

This causes Rukia, the most repressed woman in the universe, to hunch in on herself so that he can't see her cry and then he tells her to shut up. I am making little graspy hands at my computer as I write this. This is so good. Imagine. Imagine someone understanding you so well that they would spare you from your own emotions in this way. I am going insane.

This is not a Hallmark Christmas movie. This is a love story for those of us who struggle to connect with others.

I want to kind of hop out and say that I think there's a certain kind of person (me), who gets interested in romances almost exclusively from stories that have little-to-no romantic content. This is not an accident. For me, this is how I like it. I want to read about characters who save the world and I want them to be very business-up-front about it. I mean, yeah, I wouldn't mind if they kissed on screen once, but I don't need it. I have an imagination for that. I have fanfiction for that. I literally want them to do it on their own time. You know what's romantic to me? Meaningful looks. Backing each other up. Fighting in synch. Matching outfits. This is romance to me, and I think Rukia might actually agree with me.

This isn't to say that this is all of Rukia and Renji's relationship. I think they have talked about feelings, I think they've probably held hands and kissed or whatever, but where and when and how it happened is their own business. I think Renji probably wouldn't have minded getting one on-panel smooch, but this feels exactly how I think Rukia would want her relationship portrayed: We looked very cool and then, several years later, we were married.

Oh, and they also very much did get the horniest panels in all of Bleach, which, weirdly enough, I think Rukia would also approve of.

[mekkyz-dubz]

Say Kittycorn, didn't Chimera contact you to treat you "better"?

[elodieunderglass]

I volunteer in a charity shop in a small town surrounded by fields. One of our regulars is a tiny drag queen who, when not buying every piece of sparkly nonsense small enough to fit him, works with horses. He is a perfect match for your description of a retired jockey and I just thought you should know this.

(In reference to this description of a retired jockey which came about because OH GOD I MADE MYSELF SO SAD RESEARCHING JOCKEY INJURIES, I could not go on until trying to promise myself Killie got to retire (and not be horseless.) Also, while writing that comic, I got intensely and powerfully sad that I wanted it to be true, and that Greyuncle Killie could really be living his weird little life on some other plane. But he is not only fictional, but an OC; how lonely to only exist when one person thinks of you; how sad to seem so vibrantly real that it’s easy for someone to imagine, resignedly, that of course you’re the sort of man to wear a Barbour gilet - but not get to be real, or retire, at all.)

You cannot imagine how timely and lovely it was to receive this ask. Genuinely went from a strange grief feeling about a little man who isn’t real, to feeling a clear and powerful sense of life-affirmation. The world is full of so many guys, out there, and they are living complex lives, and if you don’t know that guy, maybe SOMEBODY does. Maybe you ARE that guy. And there are guys like you out there.

I am so, so glad to know this. Thank you sincerely.

[24-05txt]

[Excerpt of a journal found in the possession of one Captain John Price, dated 02.03.24]

Zombies.

Nothin' much more to say than that.

As expected, world's gone to shit.

People have died.

Some are still holdin' on.

Shitton of research. Ethics on that went out the door.

Not ashamed to say I think about handing them both over sometimes.

Our domesticated animals.

The academic types would be all over them for certain.

Zombies that don't bite? Trained, walking corpses?

Could bring us leaps and bounds closer to a cure.

On the otherhand... could just turn into a science fair project.

I wouldn't do that to my boys.

Even if I did, I wouldn't live long after. Because Simon isn't dead.

At least, I don't think he is.

No-one has been able to get close enough to confirm... Aside from Soap.

And Soap is definitely dead.

We thought the poor muppet had a stroke, at first; struggling to talk. To move.

Put him on bedrest. Ghost took watch (wouldn't give it up).

Didn't suspect a thing of either of them until I caught Ghost feeding him raw meat.

(Still don't know where it came from.)

They were quarantined for a bit. Ghost hadn't spoken for weeks at that point.

Just stared at us. Sat beside MacTavish.

He tried to break out when Soap started to go hungry.

I could have put them out of their misery.

Should have.

Gaz was on watch when Ghost finally broke out.

(Soap was too weak to walk by then.)

Let him go hunting. He brought back a body.

We didn't bother locking them up again.

No one has noticed yet. Not enough of a system left to report them to anyway. Options are to ignore it or shoot them yourself.

Guess their work makes up for it. Plenty of reason to turn a blind eye.

Soap is as well-behaved as ever. Quick on the uptake for someone who can hardly string a sentence together.

Simon is the worst he's ever been, but competent. Deadly. More ruthless than before.

Still hasn't spoken a word.

Suppose he is dead. Funny that his heart stayed beating once it finally took.

[dragonslaved]

I think one of the funniest headcanons I ever had for Jon is that yeah I'm a "Jon wears glasses" truther but that's as far as his gran went for his eyesight. Just "eh you can see better that's fine now read" and he just never knew he was colorblind until he became the archivist and thought he'd acquired shrimp vision seeing shrimp colors.

He finds out when he tries to excitedly explain the color purple to Martin and Martin's like babe. I have to tell you something.

[bird-days]

ramble concerning mumbo and grian ahead sorry, sorry.

Mumbo being so attached to grian does something painful to me. He’s always at Grian’s beck and call, doing everything for him and how does Grian repay that? Nothing. He didn’t even offer his life for Mumbo that was yellow. And yet grian offers himself to Scar. He can’t help it.

Specks of sand can be found in items even years after visiting a desert. It seems like Grian still has that lingering memory of Scar and him, that llama, in the desert. Did that sand mix in with the sand of Sahara?

But what does that mean for Mumbo? Mumbo that doesn’t remember anything from the series before. Mumbo that came into the series sparkly-eyed and ready to enjoy a fun game with Grian, to be met with his indifference and a red nametag.

Maybe the reason why Grian is so aloof is because of the past. Mumbo’s demise was often caused by Grian. Is he scared? Scared that he’ll put Mumbo in harm’s way again?

Mumbo doesn’t even know he’s doing this again. He still yearns for that nod of approval from Grian. That gnawing jealousy Mumbo has—it isn’t just from wild life.

Did Grian ever tell Mumbo about his redstone door? That strained laughter and jokes that didn’t land well during those trading talks—he isn’t the same anymore. So being invited again, have a few sessions of hardcore with Grian, how could he have declined?

Mumbo said it himself, he forgets that wild life is a death game, and was playing just to enjoy having fun with his friends. Maybe it’ll just be like old times. The sea pickles, potatoes, and the occasional puns, maybe it’ll all come back.

But it doesn’t.

Grian still activates that wild card, and respawns in that pink bed. He doesn’t bother saving Mumbo ever since that sculk incident two sessions ago. He watches Mumbo burn again.

It truly hurts when you never get looked upon by a watcher. When their entire job is to watch, it feels as if you’ve failed it. He’ll continue on with that green-eyed boy, while you’re left with the scraps of the past. Oh little moustache man, when will you realise that the boy in the red jumper will never cast his gaze upon you.

Please don’t fly too close to the sun this time Mumbo.

[thunderingoutlaw]

for @taleswritten — wedding time!

Cid glanced again at the ring on his finger. Gods, he didn't think a man his age could be giddy. Yet here he was, unable to stifle a grin at the delicate flames - gold inlaid into silver - and knowing that Clive's gold band bore angles of silver lightning.

Here he was, about to be married.

It'd been touch-and-go for a bit, after Ultima was finally gone. Many worried nights by Clive's sickbed, until Tarja warned Cid he'd agonize himself into the next cot over. One more miracle of Clive pulling through, one time Cid would readily admit to open weeping out of sheer relief. But for today, all was well. For today, there was no political advising allowed. There'd been only talk of food preparations, decor, and pitching the tents. The weather had even cooperated, important considering this was the best approximation of a normally indoor ceremony.

Cid shifted his weight subtly in dark boots, one bare hand brushing a stray blade of grass from ivory trousers tucked into the tops. Both hands then fidgeted briefly with the high, spread collar of a doublet reaching midway down his thighs; pale slashes contrasted deep purple, tablet weave trimming every outermost hem. The sash across his torso saw an adjustment too, just to double-check the steel brooch wouldn't unpin from the vee of red fabric near his left hip.

Gav peeked in then, asking with a grin if he was ready - and lightly teasing about Cid's nerves when the latter only nodded. His best scout and dear friend pulled back the tent flap to let the afternoon sun in; Jill, meanwhile, would be doing the same at Clive's tent.

Cid stepped out... and almost obeyed the urge to drop to his fucking knees. He was truly about to marry the best and most gorgeous man he'd ever met. He could feel the awed smile on his face as he crossed to stand in front of Otto, facing Clive.

The steward hummed a quiet, warm laugh at his look. Otto then waited for Gav and Jill to take their seats, among the small audience of closest friends and family, before he began. "We gather today in lastin' love, good health, and hard-won freedom, to witness this hearts' bond made manifest. Clive Rosfield, how will you speak your bond?" The typical officiation they'd worked out in the Hideaway's early years, intended to acknowledge the importance of the moment without tying it to any one deity or the now-vanished crystals.

[pastafossa]

Hi pasta!! What's Jane up to lately? Not like, in the fic but just....banging around in your brain? My characters hang around my head sitcom style sometimes lol

Much love!!

jane is currently roosting on top of matt like a hen with a chick they are both quite happy

Kidding. sort of.

NO BUT FOR REAL, mine do that too! Now and then over the years the scenery has changed (since I started TRT though, my internal headspace where the characters hang out looks suspiciously like Matt's apartment), but the space is always kinda... there for them, and that includes Jane! Half the time she's providing running commentary - she's got a lot to say about the Daredevil rewatch me and @sunflowersandsapphires are going through before Born Again, especially now that we're in S3 which we haven't reached yet in TRT. Like,

Me: (watching the FBI break into Matt's apartment without any difficulty whatsoever) Jane, sipping her coffee and turning the page of her book: Good fucking luck doing that to our door. They'll be lucky to break in before dinner.

Sometimes she's also just reading up there. Probably the Odyssey at present, since all my listening to Epic has reminded her of when her and Ciro were bulldozing through classics together. She also has been watching in amusement as Matt tries yet again to keep other characters out so that I can't write about them or be distracted (Matt at present is grumpily barricading the door to prevent Jack Reacher from getting in, Jane's not helping but she's not stopping him either).

Me to Jane, as Matt drags his wardrobe in front of the front door: why aren't you stopping him??? Jane, leaning against the wall as she watches Matt: he needs enrichment, it's good for him. Me, watching Matt pacing as he watches for any attempts to open he door: I thought you were supposed to be his enrichment. Jane, innocently: he's high energy, he needed more. Also he looks good moving the furniture. Matt: I can hear you both. Jack Reacher, muffled through the door: so can I. Matt, growling: Go away. Michael Kinsella, on the couch with the assigned book for the book club he and Jane started even though there's only two of them in it: has he tried the skylight? We could use a third for the book club. Jane, as Matt drags a long bench down the hall to wedge it against the wardrobe: I thought Bucky was the third, we were going to read Lord of the Rings. Michael: Matt told Bucky there was a stray cat outside, then when Bucky went out to look for it, Matt locked the door. Me: ...we should read Lord of the Rings though, it's been a while.

The oddest part though is when she just comes in with random fucking lore. So like, I'll be doing something unrelated and she'll come strolling into the mental apartment with a mug of coffee and drop shit on me. The most recent one was during this past week. We've gotten a ton of snow, and I was standing at my window watching a snowplow drive by. And Jane just sips her coffee and goes,

"I was a snowplow driver for a single winter. Then I hit a bull moose, got it stuck in the windshield and everything. Swear to god, I was nose-to-nose with that fucker, his antlers on either side of me like an open bear trap. Not sure who was more confused about the whole thing. I thought about sticking around but the amount of insurance paperwork I'd have had to fill out would have been a nightmare. It was easier to just change identities again. So I squeezed out under the antlers, left the moose there with the running truck, hitchhiked home, got my bag, and moved to Houston. Last I heard the moose was fine, though, and left to do moose things, so that's something."

In reality, though, she's very chill. Her and I have been doing this for about... (does math) 8 years or so, so we're comfortable. The only time she really fights me is if I'm writing and she does not think what's happening is the way it should go. But that's rare!

[thoughtsonkm]

NO I'LL CRY

[bigpharmacockandballtorture]

shauna shipman, louis de pointe du lac, eve polastri, and will graham are having a party somewhere in pretend world

[caeslxys]

Something I think is extremely interesting thematically when it comes to connecting what Downfall and the ideas it tackled to the overarching narrative of campaign three is that the things Downfall made a point to showcase of Aeor—Cassida, Hallis, the visual of an aeormaton proposing to her partner, the specific and intentional decision to shed light on a far from insignificant amount of the population being civilians or refugees—is that it plays in perfect parallel across from what is happening (and, really, has been happening) to the ruidusborn on Exandria in present.

Bear with me for a moment. Aeor is ultimately a city that was collectively punished for the decisions of its leadership. We could (and, judging by the amount of discourse around this particular topic already, probably will) argue about what the Gods’ motivation for all of this was—whether it be that they could not, in the end, bear to kill their siblings or that they were terrified at the prospect of mortality—for me it is a very healthy dose of both—but for this I am much more interested in the latter. They were scared. That, really, is the driving force behind both this arc and their role in c3 as a whole.

Why I point this out is: It is far more interesting to me, especially as we go back to Bells Hells this week, to dissect the Gods and their decisions not purely on sympathetic motivation alone but as beings in the highest seat of power in the highest social class in Exandria.

So, having established that the Gods (in relation to mortals) are more a higher social class than anything we could compare to our real life understanding of divinity and that Aeor was eviscerated largely because of their fear—what is the difference between those innocents in Aeor caught in the trappings of their autocratic government leadership and a divine war on the ground, and those of the ruidusborn being manipulated both by Ludinus and by the very thing that inspired such visceral fear in the Gods to start with. I would argue very little.

I think of Cassida, doing what she genuinely thought was right and good and would save people, her son, and the object of her worship—and how that did not matter enough to any of them to spare her because of the fear they held at the very concept of mortality. I think of Liliana and Imogen, one of which we know begged for the gods to help her or send her a sign for years on years, and how every single one of their largest struggles could have been avoided had the gods loved them, their supposed children, as much as they feared what they could be. I think of how the thing that did save Imogen, in the end, was a woman who herself existed in direct defiance of the gods will. I think of that young boy, sixteen years old, that Laudna exalted on Ruidus.

I think it’s completely fair to judge Aeor’s overall society as deeply corrupt—it was!—but its leadership and police force are not a reflection of every one of its citizens. Similarly, it is fair to judge the Ruby Vanguard as corrupt—it is!—but its multiple heads of leadership and even the god-eater further are not a reflection of every one of its members.

Notably, and what I think the Hells will latch onto, this did not matter to the Gods. It did not matter that Cassida was trying to help. She was still too much of a risk. Will it matter, what Imogen does? Will it matter, if that young boy is in the blast radius when they decide to take no further chances?

I’ve seen a lot of people say that the Hells will side with the gods and I don’t think I agree. Especially as Imogen has been scolded and villainized over and over for daring to try and save her mother—who herself has been seen by some as an irredeemable evil in spite of her drive being the exact same—her family—but when it’s the Gods it’s justified? When it’s the Gods, it’s sympathetic? Too sympathetic to criticize further than “they’re family”?

I obviously do not think the Gods should die or be eaten or what have you, and I certainly don’t agree with Ludinus (though I find him much more compelling than just a variation of hubris wizard), but when talking about the Gods in Aeor and in present it isn’t really at all about their motivation or their family. It can’t be. Too many people, including our active protagonists, lives have been effected for it to be as cut and dry as “they’re family”. These are your children. They are your family, too.