#till going right back to the main/core of things

[dragontamer05]

No lie I can't recall the last time I did like just one long continuous thread.

Like sure still doing small side stuff, asks ect but just idk but also letting muses grow and develop through one long continuous - and not always having to say resort to completely dropping if whatever currently is going on has run its course and instead just time skip with it but let it keep going.

And I say this as some one who is also 100% happy to time skip and jump around.

And hey you want to go back in time and explore a scenario that could have happened earlier in their relationship / knowing each other

or jump forward to something way later or even just explore a what if scenario that doesn't have to happen but could depending how things go/ how we feel about it ect

Hell yah love it all - trying to have some time line consistency is good obviously and as long as we can agree on even a loose idea of How they got to Y or where X fits and what not then sure.

Am fine with even the longest of threads eventually getting a wrap up if things simply happen to feel right in the moment and is what gets decided, doesn't have to be an infinite thread - certainly not about to force one to go on if its reached a point it kinda feels dead but idk call me easily attached but there's sometimes where I can still find / feels like their might be still potential to be found in a thread and all it needs is a bit of tweaking.

The chapter came to an end but the book isn't over kinda thing. Maybe all it needs is a small time skip / scene change but there's still things to be explored within said plot/scenario / whatever is going on with the characters - that would still also work/fit within said thread instead of separating.

Similarly but kind of reverse is I am equally as happy generally to return to threads that were long previously dropped/abandoned. Whether cause someone wasn't feeling it any more or simply we ran into a writing wall and at the time were lost on how to continue it so was better not to force it. But if something new comes along be it from plotting / just newer interactions or simply with having time away from it whatever the reason if a spark suddenly arises and hey suddenly what if we connected - old thread to new idea - or any other reason to want to answer/continue go for it.

idk mostly I this is was just a really long rambly way of saying how I miss long threads. Short quick snippets are fun and fine but 9/10 I promise i am very much interested and fine with carrying a thread for as long and far as it'll go.

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

❤️‍🔥can I request a number 17 from the smut prompts with Jack Hughes please, love your writing so much!

thank you sweet nonnie for not only complimenting my writing but also putting a players full name. 🫶🏻🥺

200 Followers Celebration

I also know Rutger is an hour from Newark but it's fan-fiction let's pretend the Newark campus is the main campus for the sake of this blurb. Please send in more requests this celebration is open till this Sunday. 💞💞

“Faster—ah shit—harder…”

Jack Hughes + alcohol + a slutty outfit = always equaled best orgasm.

Jack Hughes was someone who was more than a friend but less than a boyfriend. If someone asked to describe your relationship you would probably say something along the lines of "friends with benefits sometimes when convenient." Jack and you have had a weird complex relationship since you met him when you were freshly 18 and moved to New Jersey where you didn't know a single soul to go to Rutger University. He had just moved to New Jersey for the NHL, and somehow by fate you guys met. Both of became friends quickly, and that semester during your finals and his not so good rookie year, one night one of you (neither of you, years later now could tell you who) suggested to use sex as a stress relive.

Now years later, whenever one of you started talking to someone you would stop. But when both were single it wasn't uncommon to be in each-other's beds. Although when you went out to the club you were strictly "friends" until you made Jack jealous on purpose. It was the same pattern every time and if Jack has caught on, he's never said.

That's how it lead you to where you are right now, Jack grabbing you from the back holding your hips to his. Immediately your body felt at ease because it was him and also excitement in the pit of your stomach for what you knew was coming next. Jack didn't acknowledge the man in front of you both, instead he simply turned his head so his mouth could whisper in your ear. "If you think acting like a brat and flirting with some fuckboy in front of me. Who probably couldn't even find your clit if he had a fucking map will get you what you want when we get alone your wrong."

His words went straight to your core, making you push your legs together as discreetly as possible as Jack finally acknowledges the man in front of you both, but your too busy trying to get some relief you're not sure what words are exchanged nor do you care.

Next thing you know Jack is saying something about the Uber waiting for you both. The Uber ride despite 10 minutes, felt like an hour, as Jack couldn't stop himself from teasing you. His arm draped over the middle seat as he acted too busy talking to the driver while his fingers would ghost your exposed skin from your mini dress.

"jacky..." you whispered in a needy tone, not giving a fuck how you sounded to the driver due to how you felt.

Turning his head towards you, he said back "baby I'm talking to Isiah he's a fan." Leaning over the middle seat, his hand that's on your thigh gripping the flesh slightly. He whispered "after the stunt you pulled you can wait 10 minutes without acting like a needy little whore."

All you could do is nod to Jack's words, squeezing your eyes closed trying to control your breathing, as you could feel yourself dripping. Jack left a little kiss on your cheek, the driver thinking he was interrupting a sweet moment between the couple, little did he know the reality.

Finally making it back to his apartment, both of you thanked the driver as you exited the car. Jack grabbed your hand as he lead you into his building, he leaned down to your ear, his voice seething with authority. "Don't say a fucking word till we are in my apartment understand."

As soon we you step into the apartment, Jack picks you up, kissing you hard slamming you against the back of his front door. Pulling away, his mouth leaving little teasing bites down your down and collarbone. All you could do is moan in response, begging him to do more.

"naw naw naw now little one... who's in charge here?" he asked

"ya-- yoouu." you whimpered out.

"exactly and were gonna go at my rate. ya know tonight I was gonna give you whatever you wanted but then you had to go and be a fucking brat." almost spitting his words out in frustration at your actions early tonight. Taking his free hand that's not kneading your ass holding your jaw in place to look at him in the eyes.

"I don't know Jacky maybe he could fuck me better."

"oh now your gonna have it." As he takes the hand that was on your jaw, to unzip his pants and pull out his already hard cock. Going to rip your own underwear off only to discover you aren't wearing any. "your soaking wet, and you're not wearing anything."

"noo.. are you mad at me Jacky." you asked shyly.

"fuck" he whispered as he shoved his cock into you, barely giving you time to adjust to his size, before thrusting in and out of you at a fast pace. Letting his body act before his brain could react rolling his hips faster as he heard you scream in pleasure.

"ahhh fuck - " he exclaimed.

"please - faster - " you begged. "ah shit - right there Jack fuck"

"yeah you like that babygirl" he grunted.

"hmmm" you whimpered. your nails definitely leaving marks on the back of his shoulders. "see how good I make you feel. no one gets to you like this. not that fucker at the bar, not your ex who couldn't make you cum, just me."

"ahhh harder.. yeah right there FUCK." You screamed as you both chased your own person highs.

"say it. who makes you feel this good?" taking his free hand and slightly chocking you.

"only you. no one else J" At your confession he quickened his pace even faster, both of you grunting and moaning in pleasure as you both reached your climaxes.

[rozeliyawashereyall]

Lil Sky rant cuz he has been on my mind too much. Oh and a drawing

This is a little dark but bare with me here—we don't know much about him yet so I'll be mainly going off what was mentioned in ep 2,3 and 4. If you don't like war trauma talk you can just skip this. PS. I made this on like, 2nd of march so I may have gotten a few things wrong-

Again- tw! This gets a little dark, just war stuff.

Skylar is such a bright and playful character now, but when you really consider what he went through—fighting in WWII as a teenager, watching people he cared about die, being captured and experimented on—it’s horrifying. Even if it’s not like, the main core of his character, that experience must have shaped him in ways that linger beneath the surface. Being a 19-year-old in the middle of one of the deadliest wars in history, witnessing the loss of friends and the people he wanted to protect, must have left an unimaginable sense of helplessness. And then, to survive only to be subjected to brutal experimentation—it’s like he never really had a moment to breathe, to process, to grieve. That kind of trauma doesn’t just disappear.

Even though he survived, there’s no way he came out of it unscathed, ofc we know of that physically since he showed up a scar from the war—but I'm talking mentally, Survivor’s guilt must weigh heavy on him, even decades later. Perhaps therapy has helped, but something like that never fully leaves. Knowing Skylar, he likely masks a lot of it with his usual lightheartedness. Maybe he doesn’t talk about it much, or maybe he only opens up to a select few. But those memories, that sense of helplessness—it lingers. Even if he’s playful and friendly now, there must be moments when it all creeps back in—quiet moments, nightmares, a certain phrase or scent bringing it all rushing to the surface.

It’s hard not to wonder how he copes. Does he push it down, joke, and smile because it’s easier than facing the weight of everything? Or does he focus on the present because the past is too painful to look at for too long? And then there’s Ava—how much did her presence help in those early years after she took him in? Did he resent becoming a vampire at first, believing he should have died with the others? Or did he cling to this second chance, determined to live for those who couldn’t? Either way, it’s tragic. He’s not just a survivor; he’s someone who had to rebuild himself completely.

•

I hope we see that other side of Sky, it could add so much depth to his character. It’s one thing to know he went through all of that, but actually witnessing how it still affects him—whether in subtle moments of reflection or more intense emotional beats—would really bring his inner struggles to the forefront. It would make his lightheartedness feel more meaningful too, like a conscious choice rather than just a default personality trait.

It’d also be interesting to see how he handles those memories in contrast to the people around him. Yeah he's shown honey, but does he let anyone else see that side of him? Does he talk about it, even in passing, or is it something he keeps locked away? And if it does come out, what does that look like? A rare moment of vulnerability, or a quiet, almost imperceptible shift in his usual demeanor? There’s so much potential to explore, and I really do hope the series dives into it, even if it's just a little bit, whether it'd be about how he's healed from the mental trauma or if it still affects him till this day and how he'd cope with it.

But back to the trauma—man, there’s so much to unpack. Because now, on top of everything else, he had to come to terms with pledging himself to Ava and whatever that meant for his future. Even if he didn’t regret it, there had to be moments where the weight of it all hit him right?? Like, he survived the war, the experiments, only to end up in a completely different kind of existence where he still wasn’t truly free.

Alright so a diagnosis from an 18 year old girl on the internet that you should NOT take as a canon fact

•Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) – The constant exposure to war, loss, and later experimentation at a young age would leave deep psychological scars

•Survivor’s Guilt – Given how many people he lost, he might struggle with thoughts like “Why me?” or “I should have died with them.” Even if he’s found purpose in his new life, those feelings don’t just disappear.

•Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder (DPDR) – After being turned, Sky probably had moments where he felt like he wasn’t real anymore.

•Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) – While he comes off as bright and playful, the weight of everything might hit him in waves.

•Complicated Grief – His grief is layered. He’s lost people, his humanity, and the life he thought he’d have. Even if he’s had time to process it, certain things (anniversaries, places, even random triggers) could bring it all back.

•Masking & Emotional Suppression – Not a clinical diagnosis, but Skylar likely copes by hiding everything behind humor and charm. It’s not fake—he genuinely is lighthearted—but it’s also a shield. He probably doesn’t let many people see when things get bad.

In terms of comfort..

How Does This Affect Him Now? •He might have a deep fear of failure or losing people again, making him overprotective of those he cares about. •He might be reluctant to form deep emotional attachments, even if he’s friendly. •His playfulness could be a way to control how others perceive him—if they think he’s fine, they won’t ask questions. •There are likely moments, when he’s alone or caught off guard, where the weight of it all still hits.

Verdict: Sky is a high-functioning trauma survivor who copes by masking, humor, and focusing on the present—but the past is never really gone. He’s still carrying it, even if most people don’t see it.

For someone like Sky—who’s spent so long hiding his struggles behind humor and deflection—the key is patience, quiet support, and making sure he feels like he’s in control of his own healing. He’s the kind of survivor who isn’t going to spill his emotions just because someone asks. If anything, pushing too hard might make him shut down even more.

If Sky dissociates or gets trapped in his own head, Verbal grounding might also help, but keep it simple. He most likely doesn’t like showing vulnerability about a subject like this, and he’s probably conditioned himself to believe that talking about it makes him a burden. Instead of asking “What’s wrong?” or “Do you want to talk?” frame it in a way that gives him control.

.

.

.

Side rant! You can ignore this if you wanna lol

I feel this is what makes a traumatized character writing so rich and compelling. It’s easy to say, “Oh, this character went through something traumatic,” but actually sitting down and thinking about how that trauma shapes their personality, their coping mechanisms, their relationships? That’s where the real depth comes in.

When you really take the time to really explore a character’s struggles, it makes them feel real. It’s not just about adding angst for drama—it’s about understanding why they are the way they are, why they act the way they do, and what keeps them going despite everything.

Like with Sky, the contrast between his bright, playful personality and the weight of his past makes him so compelling. Because he’s not just defined by his trauma, but it still lingers, shaping him in ways both subtle and obvious. And seeing how he navigates that, how he masks it, how he lets certain people in—that’s what makes him feel so human.

It’s honestly one of the best parts of character writing and analysing. You start seeing them not just as fictional people, but as if they exist beyond the page, with histories and emotions that carry forward even when we’re not actively thinking about them.

Anyway. Character belongs to @obsidian-lantern

[stillpanicking]

Reporter: There are several upcoming young heroes. Is there any one that comes to mind you believe will showcase a promising future?

Batman frowned at the reporter. He, Superman, Wonder Woman and Green Lantern(John Sterwart) were stuck doing this as a favor for Superman after he owed someone a massive favor. How he managed to get wrangled into this mess.... he doesn't know and he's going to make whoever convinced him to do this will pay.

Batman stayed quiet as Superman and Wonder Woman gushed over some upcoming heroes. Some of which they all teamed up with at one point or another. Green Lantern stayed quiet for the most part. He recently came back to earth and is not up to date in a lot of things.

"Static Shock and Gear." Green Lantern mentioned, recalling the misadventures he and the others had with the young heroes at the time.

Batman nodded, agreeing immediately. "Both has shown great promise, acknowledgment of their own abilities and pushing pass any limitations."

"My, that sounds awfully like a compliment for a couple of unknown heroes. Where exactly are they stationed? I haven't heard of them."

Batman and Green Lantern took turns going over the young heroes. How the two helped the League several times over. That if they ever wanted to, a spot would be more than ready for them to join the League. Superman and Wonder Woman quickly joined in, recalling the times the duo had helped them.

-----

"Virgil!!!! Turn on the news!!!"

Virgil Hawkins watched the broadcast of four of the main core of the Justice League spoke highly of him and Richie. And is... Batman is smiling! "I'm watching it Rich"

"Do you think they'll let us join right now if we call them?"

"We don't have their number."

"But we do have a Bruce Wayne number. The number one benefactor of the Justice League."

"Pops said I have to wait till I at least graduate from high school before I can join."

"Fair."

[hellofeternity]

Why I think the “industrial complex arc” is the best arc in ORV aka my stupidly long unfinished love letter PART 1

This post will cover extensive details of the plot from chapter 193 - Story Horizon V till chapter 281 - Demon King of Salvation III It will also have some mention of things from Before these chapters and After but not as much and they will be chapter marked. This range is also not super rigid, you can classify the arc as starting much later or earlier etc with multiple mini arcs wrapped up in it but to me it ultimately starts once dokja is in the demon realm and ends when the complex is transported from the demon realm by secretive plotter.

Starting off, storytelling requires good and clear foundations that the reader can rationalize so that they get entrenched in the world view being told. As a shallow example, in a murder mystery you follow the detective with an understanding that for there to be a mystery there tends to be an acknowledgement that murder is “bad” or at least there is a need for it to be “resolved”, a reasoning we can relate to. For a good story to tie us in, we as readers should be able to understand and respect this rationalizing for any hopes of going with it. However to take it a step further and build an engaging story, the writer who has spent a lot of time selling you this world premise needs to take a hammer to that foundation and rebuild it over and over again, the stronger the foundation the more intriguing when it breaks, If this mystery truly needs to be resolved, what are the consequences of pursuing it? Should the stones really be upturned as we have been convinced up to this point? Are these the answers you are searching for? What are the cracks in the characters logic, and subsequently yours the readers?

In a lot of good stories this tends to be a gradual build up only to come to a head, usually at the climax and or midpoint but not always, wherein the main character(s) have to contend with the flaws in their world view and grow from it. 

As a more pointed example in the popular story of “One piece” we can clearly see that the foundations of the story break around the climax in “marineford arc” (Light spoilers) the story has spent a lot of time selling us on whimsy and the power of belief especially in the main characters conviction, of course luffy will become the pirate king! And while he has had setbacks he is the main character and the world view in this story is that he will always win. That is until he doesnt and we are forced to contend with why, and how that flaw has been present throughout the entire story gradually rising with the stakes, the first proper death happens and we have to adjust our worldview as readers as we realize what the stakes really are and that it's not as whimsical as we thought.(spoiler end) With this in mind, the “industrial revolution arc” is the moment in the story, coming right on the heels of the climax of the “prophecy arc”, where we start to see the cracks in the foundations laid down beforehand start to bear fruit.

I might sound dramatic when I call it the best arc, because in all honesty the things I will talk about are present throughout all of ORV and this arc cant stand by itself without everything laid before it and after it, these cracks extend all over the story and we face them over and over again, but what makes it really really good to me is that the industrial arc turns them from cracks in our world view into gushing veins that beat with the messages outlined and communicated clearly, this arc is the heartbeat throughout the entire story summarizing, explaining, and cradling our misconceptions, it's the unfurling of the core messages of ORV and its told in the most beautiful symphonic way possible.

For every foundation that ORV lays down in the story beforehand the industrial revolution arc answers back with vigor.

Foundation 1 : you can never truly know someone/yourself

Answer: so what? write on the wall anyways

(Chapter 180) The first time dokja ever communicates with the fourth wall is in the “prophecy arc” right after defeating the devourer of dreams, begging it to give him his mother back after he finally gets to hear her story written by her on the wall, the fourth wall for the first time, contradicts him in its narration

I didn't cry. 「 Kim Dokja was crying. 」

and seemingly turns against him, and that's when dokja realizes the wall is sentient. We learn in this moment to fear this wall that he reveres and loves because we recognize it's what's stopping him from connecting with his mother. “Writing on the wall” as a concept isn't introduced with dokja doing it first, but with his mother, his mother was the reason he needed the wall. She told his story, changed it and distorted it, but doing so has made his life a living hell. She wrote him out of his story and built a wall around him like an overprotective mother, she didn't give the courts the chance to prosecute dokja or even look at his story.  Originally, this wall was her wall, the prison barrier between her and him and it was composed of the “story of an underground killer”.

He turns it off and we recognize just how much dokja relies on this wall, he can't face himself or try to understand his feelings or find out his attributes because to do so would put him at risk of the world that wants to harm him.

But then he turns it on and starts properly “communicating with the wall” 

「 Thus, Kim Dokja can't understand it himself. Why is he trying to save his mother? 」 "I can't explain." 

And because it gives him his mother back, protects him from the devourer of dreams and he gets closer to it he feels comfortable with it again. (chapter 186) In the events of the 73rd demon king selection scenario we also gain a deeper understanding of this wall and dokja’s relationship to it and his relationship to himself when yoo joonghyuk attempts to sacrifice himself for him.

He was certain that I knew all about him. However, Yoo Joonghyuk was wrong. I didn't know Yoo Joonghyuk. The Yoo Joonghyuk I knew would never do this.

And

Perhaps Yoo Joonghyuk didn't understand my words. There was a huge wall between us that couldn't be filled. However, it was due to this wall that I could see this guy again and again. Yoo Joonghyuk's remorse, his despair and his dreams. An indomitable will that didn't give up.

To dokja, the wall is made up of mostly ways of survival and subsequently personified to him as yoo joonghyuk. To dokja this wall could never be something negative even when it's stopping him from connecting with both his mother and yoo joonghyuk, it's his love, his protection and safety. Sure he has opinions on what could be better but the original stays the original in his heart, he would never dare to deface his wall/bible. The changes to yoo joonghyuk in this scene, the self sacrificial actions he is committing so he doesn't lose dokja, are jarring to him because he feels like he defaced his bible by inserting himself in it against his mothers teachings, and because kim dokja doesn't really understand who he is and doesn't think of himself as worthy, this scares him completely and he finds it hard to wrap his head around.  (chapter 444) as an aside, this is also why when this sacrificial nature peeks out in 3rd round yoo joonghyuk he can't wrap his head around it as opposed to him accepting it readily when it comes to 999th yoo joonghyuk, who he has modeled this behavior off of because to him 999th yoo joonghyuk got there by himself and 3rd round got there because of him even though obviously they both are just completing each other. (end chapter 444)

The story with all of this makes a point of distinguishing between “writing on the wall” and “communicating with the wall” dokja cannot fathom writing on the wall yet mainly because he can't bare to insert himself on it but also because he doesn't know what “himself” is, but he finds talking to it less daunting and from there it's a stepping stone to being able to write on it.

—--

The beginning of industrial complex arc starts with all the characters finally out of the Seoul Dome, an ejection from the story as we know it and world we've come so entrenched in, we've never seen the characters in this setting we don't know who they are in moments of rest and we almost never get to hear their thoughts outside of what Dokja thinks of them.

In chapter 193 we get one of our first povs outside of dokja in the story without his oversight or knowledge, a jung heewon pov, a character who just like dokja has only ever existed outside of the story and can only exist in tandem with him, if dokja is not in the timeline she doesn't get the chance to exist. She is in korea outside of Seoul, surrounded by the familiarity of government structure and reality, she is bombarded with journalist who immediately distort her story alienating her from herself and from previous chapters we know to distrust how other people tell your story, orv has taught us that no good can come from selling yourself. The sight of journalists immediately puts the reader on alert, akin to seeing a dokkaebi, but jung heewon's first actions upon being faced with this scene is to show us a crack in the foundation, she frees herself from their narrative tells us more about herself that we weren't aware of and then most importantly

she tells dokja's story.

I'm not the hero you think I am. I wasn't a candidate for the national team and I didn't do well in kendo." Jung Heewon spoke into the microphone like she was talking to the whole world. "Before the destruction came, I was just a bartender working at a cheap bar." Her words caused a stir among the reporters. Nobody could believe it. Someone scoffed and someone else looked a bit jealous. In front of these gazes, Jung Heewon felt strangely free. She wasn't the old 'Jung Heewon' anymore. Jung Heewon realized it with all these eyes on her. The reporters kept asking her questions. How could a bartender become one of the last survivors? How could she survive and how did she become the Judge of Destruction? [The constellation 'Bald General of Justice' is looking at you with sad eyes.] [The constellation 'One-Eyed Maitreya' is reminded of someone by your words.] The indirect messages of the constellations came from all over the place. Jung Heewon opened her mouth without understanding her feelings. "Do you know Kim Dokja?"

and then the next scene is this

[Someone is talking about you.] …Talking about me? [Your story is being created on Planet Earth.] I could see what happened. Someone was talking about me on Earth. Who was it? It couldn't be Yoo Joonghyuk. Lee Hyunsung? Jung Heewon? Or Shin Yoosung? …I didn't know. Still, it was funny. Someone was telling my story. Someone still remembered… [The new story 'Kim Dojega's Legend' has been created on Peace Land.] …I hoped they would at least get my name right. I looked up at the night sky where the stars were invisible.

To have your story told, even clumsily/incorrectly, earnestly and with love is saving dokja, showing us the crack in the worldview that to sell your story is dangerous, the beginnings of an understanding for why constellations crave having their stories told even distortedly, and further sympathizing his mothers actions as an attempt for salvation. Though it doesn't excuse it. 

what jung heewon and peace land are doing here is that they are writing on the wall, they cant reach dokja he is too far away and alienated physically and emotionally but their attempts are saving him.

on the other side of the wall in the demon realm far away from any semblance of reality fully entrenched in a fantasy world dokja has lost his physical human body he is more untethered than he has ever been in the story so far craving connection, craving stories so much that the fourth wall starts fully narrating for him because they are the only way he can survive

he reaches out to jang hayoung, a character that like jung heewon could only exist thanks to dokja, thanks to dokja leaving comments for the author. but those comments get distorted by the writer when making the character and whether you consider this “writing on the wall” or “talking to the wall” the end result is the same. jang hayoung isn't someone dokja is familiar with nor understands fully despite his deep understanding of ways of survival. Jang Hayoung is introduced as the second protagonist of ways of survival, and depending on how you look at it, dokja's OC. There are many parallels between them, for example in their first proper conversation jang hayoung asks dokja "what are you" dokja tells them to guess, and jang hayoung guesses “returnee”, to which dokja replies 

I looked at his brightly shining eyes and somehow wanted to make fun of him. "Your reasoning is right but you need one premise" "whats the premise?" "The premise is that all returnees are strong." The beautiful young man's expression became strange at my words. "What do you mean by that? Don't you know what a returnee is? They are those who returned to their planets after gaining a powerful strength from another dimension or planet. How can those people be weak?" "I don't know. You haven't met all returnees in the world, right?" "That…" "For example, some returnees might not want to return because they hate their planet." The expression of the young boy hardened. "You are frustrated because you moved to a different dimension several times but didn't get much power." "…" "You got a new body but you don't have any talent." "…Wait." "You became frustrated by your lack of talent and decided to sit still in one place and live an ordinary life."|

My thoughts upon reading this is that the second way to survive in a ruined world, is to escape into a different world, become different people and learn to become stronger to cope with reality....just like reading a book. of course dokja doesn't actually ever outright say that he IS a returnee but he does admit multiple times that it could apply to him

"You are a returnee. Why bother interfering with the ecology of the Demon Realm?" "I'm not a returnee." In a sense, there was no word more accurate.

and also

If Yoo Joonghyuk suffered from the 'regression depression' then this person(jang hayoung) suffered from a thorough 'self-loathing'.

and so from here we see how similar him and jang hayoung are especially at the age he created them at and its why specifically dokja struggles to understand them a lot more than any other character in the series despite his deep fondness for them. Because jang hayoung is a part of him.

"In any case, quickly talk to it. You can communicate with that wall." Jang Hayoung's face turned red after hearing that he could talk to the wall. I wanted to tell him not to worry. After all, I was in the same boat in regards to talking to a wall

Dokja telling jang hayoung to talk to the wall is the stepping stone required to write on the wall of communication, but the wall of communication is just a chat box, and so here the two concepts finally meet “writing on the wall” and “talking to the wall” are one and the same for jang hayoung. To communicate is to create. When trying to instruct Jang Hayoung on what to write on that wall however, Dokja completely fails, showing us he really doesn't know how to communicate well with others and it's jang hayoung who manages to succeed in reaching out to people in part because jang hayoungs raison d'etre stemmed from a younger dokja’s need to connect with the author, the story, and himself. And upon meeting jang hayoung just like we have previously gained a more nuanced understanding for why constellations crave having their stories told, we also gain an equally nuanced understanding for why readers need to consume stories.

Because when we meet jang hayoung we simultaneously see more closely how the people in the demon realm have lost their stories and their narratives, they are just cogs in a machine that grinds stories down in a factory and the one story they do have is completely rigged against them that they don't even bother participating in it. and the one thing that gives them hope, the one thing that keeps them going is watching other people's stories through the screens. Inadvertently even though dokja's story in the 73rd demon king scenario is just another story born directly of exploitation by higher powers to be fed into the  same machine that enslaves them for said higher powers amusement, it lays the grounds for hope and inspiration and sustenance for these people.

…It was a strange feeling. It wasn't their scenario but they sympathized with the stories I had experienced. Their faces looked like they received comfort.Maybe it wasn't just the constellations who needed stories. The stories were necessary for everyone.

But furthermore beyond just that because orv can't stop there! the biggest crack in this foundation is due to Jang hayoung’s true power at its core, how they blur the line between constellations and people by communicating with both equally highlighting how its specifically alienation under capitalism that creates a class structure of exploitation. when jang hayoung communicates with the abyssal flame dragon, a god who we know only as the embodiment of Evil and Power up to this point, who is in a position of exploitation over the incarnations and has participated in its systems, instead of an uncaring god we get an embodiment of all lost 15 year olds, we get to hear his worries and how much he cares for han sooyoung and this story and how he tries to help with all he can but he is limited with distance and ignorance. Jang hanyoung connects dokja with ABFD who in turn helps his friends dismantle that alienation and distance.

In (chapter 114)  when we see Persephone eating the stories and how dokja avoids it we sympathize with dokja and Persephone comes of as cannibalistic and evil and we start to doubt our spot in the food chain, how we must be no better than persephone, but in this arc it sheds MULTIPLE nuances on that scene, to consume something for the sake of survival, with love with hunger, to communicate with it. A crack has formed in our understanding, in fact we get a recreation of this scene with the duke of the syswitchz complex in which she served him a similar spread and watched him gorge himself and she judged him for being simply a consumer recharacterizing even her presence in that initial scene. Up till this point we as readers see ourselves as consumers, the narrative has built us and dokja as just another cog in the machine feeding off of the dregs and causing harm and we agree because of how dokja frames it, that we are no better than constellations, but when we see how it helps others in the same situation survive and overcome their reality and how even constellations themselves like ABFD try their best to aid them in a miserable situation...is it truly as black and white as we have been led to believe? Can we forgive ourselves wherever we lie in the class structure? Can we reach out? What better way than for the constellation that is the embodiment of capitalism to tell us this in regards to even the most violent of constellations, the ones that could seemingly care less for the story who have hurt others and participate willingly into the system and are simply seeking to consume.

[Still, don't hate them so much.] It took some time for me to understand his words. [They just couldn't stand the loneliness. Whether it is a garbage or a noble constellation… they all acted like that because they like the story.]

Because you see when jung heewon and peaceland propagate dokja’s story and it being a GOOD thing is that it requires a world view that consuming a story isn't necessarily a bad thing, engaging with something is important - if we write on the wall, we also need people to read that wall. And subsequently you can never really truly know the people who are engaging with the story nor their reasons, unless you reach out, unless  against all odds you communicate, no matter how unredeemable you think you are or you think they are, just that simple act is of an intense purity and power in a world built on capital and consumption.

[jeynearrynofthevale]

Just watched the Connor McDavid: Whatever it Takes documentary and my main takeaway is that he’s insane but here are a bunch of random notes and pics:

““If it was up to my mom, we probably would’ve been a skiing family”

The drive, that’s who he is, he’s always been that way, since he was probably 3 or 4, he refused to let his parents help him get dressed and he would carry his bag everywhere, the bag was bigger than he was

“He’s intense and he’s competitive”

Bobby Orr said when he was 15 that he was gonna be the greatest skater to ever play

Tracy Wilson: Olympian and skating coach “what I love about Connor is it’s all about power, doesn’t matter how it looks, it’s about getting there”

Kassian “we haven’t seen a player like that in the game in maybe forever”

McDavid “at the end of the day, you’re still playing an nhl game, but that’s not much to hang your hat on” in reference to being out of the playoffs

“Right on the post square and I just felt the pain right away, thought I’d just broken my leg into a couple pieces”

They keep replaying him going into the net at top speed and it’s fucking horrible to watch

He whispered to me “I think it’s broke”- Kassian

“I was having flashbacks to Stamkos’s energy and I know stammer really well”

Stamkos texted therapist: “did he break his tibia?”

“If I could do it all over again, you’d like to take it back”- giordano

Team physical therapist asked if he could move his leg and told him he could either try to get up or call the gurney. Connor said “no, no, no” and stood up even though he was worried and thought his leg was going to give out”

“I held it together until we got though the tunnel and then I was just a mess” it took them 10 minutes to get back to the room

He said “stop, just give me a second”

3 guys had to hold him up the way back

Lauren “it was really hard when he called me, he just said “I think I broke my leg””

Brian “he was really upset and in pain, as a parent it’s hard”

Kelly: “it’s the worst thing in the world”

“Maybe in hindsight it would’ve been better if it was broken”

Never realized the infamous scene where Leon squeezes Connor in the hallway is from this.

Grade 2 strain of his pcl

“Hey dad, just want you to know I’m going for a second opinion in Colorado Springs”

Doctor told him it was a full pcl tear where tears on bth sides of his miniscus, “tore the popliteus right of the bone”

Full reconstruction of the knee, pcl, and popliteus would require a year recovery, doctor said he needed to do it asap, within a few day

“He was distraught, very, very under described”

His mom wanted him to have the surgery

Surgical intervention is to give it stability back

Had to make decision in 48hrs about whether or not to operate.

“He was very emotional and it was very difficult for him to talk.”

3rd opinion in LA: 2nd doctor is right about the issues but thinks the surgery is risky and doesn’t believe in it, wants to try to rehab it

Had to make that decision at 22 in 24 hours

Pcl cut right in half, back of knee joint completely torn, popliteus also completely torn, lateral and medial meniscus are both torn, crack in front of tibia from where he hit the post

“Hockey is my life”

He wanted to hear that he didn’t need surgery

His rehab guy literally lived with him

7 days a week, 10 hrs a day

50% chance to get him maybe skating again by end of summer

He was in a hyperbaric chamber daily for 40 days, 2 hours at a time

Claustrophobic in a literal tube

“At one point, doctor cleared him to flex his quad muscle”

They had to keep the injury as secret as possible, didn’t tell Ken Holland how bad it was

He would call his mom right after every mri appointment

He was in the pool all the time working on his knee

While rehabbing, his core specialist was like “might as well work on everything while we’re stuck here” and they worked on his core, pelvic floor, rotational movement, spine, everything

Gymnastics coach also helped

Didn’t want him to skate till September

He went on the ice with just his dad on his doc’s recommendation before September

He was so happy to be back on the ice with his father, completely changed emotionally that day

You can really see how much he loves just skating

He was so happy to know that even if he couldn’t fully heal he could still go on with the brace and skate

He’s so smooth in these skating exercises while in an insane brace

“One thing to be out there playing the game but another to do it at the level he was capable of”

Tracy Wilson did in their own words “edging” with him for afternoons, taking him through all sorts of movements and exercises without his brace

Opening night started to look like a possibility

He wanted to be there for training camp

He decided not to participate in biosteel

He wanted to play in all 7 exhibition games even though most veterans only did 4

“Like my first game all over again”

Seeing him on opening night was incredible for his training people

Okay, seeing the canucks slashing at him and shoving him into the boards in the home opener is now making me so protective

“He willed himself back”

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

"Haha, me and [character] remind me of [two characters that I think would make a funny ship dynamic]." And then later as I'm playing the game as one of said characters that I thought I would fit the trope of, I proceed to do one of the most Them Things Ever and siigghhhh okay now I'm just cementing it aren't I. "Wow that felt fantastic, I did the thing!! The thing that this character always does and I see why they do it, it felt amazing!!"

(Read in silly voice)"Wow Kane it sure wouldn't happen to be one of the characters that you have several vocal stims from would it. Surely there wasnt already a connection here!"

I was originally going to put this whole post under the cut but originally these were supposed to be two seperate posts anyways so. Here. Two seperate posts. There may or may not be a wall of text that i didn't entirely proof read under here.

On an entirely seperate note since I was half typing this while playing my game which definitely wasn't TF2, which definitely isnt the game I was reffering to, I proceeded to finally play Medic again after actual years and... wow. Maybe I haven't touched Medic in a long time but it is still very much in my bones. In my fingers. I will always be a Medic main at my core and in my heart. It's who I am. There's a reason I am at my best and actually have some skill just as Medic. I have almost played Scout for the same amount of hours and yet I am at two completely levels with both classes cause I just played Medic back to back again and again for years while Scout has mostly just been a more recent thing.

Also also also on a completely totally totally unrelated note I need to stop. Doing.like borderline TF2 AUs over here. Okay so one of the scenarios literally is a TF2 AU but the other stuff is just "Wow I wonder what class they would be/play hehahaha". I actually. Have a draft post somewhere about the AU but it is . So . Hits my head against a wall. I almost want to add the character tags and be like "guess who I'm talking about because I'm referring to three different characters here" and I THINK it might be like... able to piece together what is about whom ever so slightly but at the same time. Hhhhrrg. Okay if I didn't mention the AU thing here I probably would add the right tags. I normally dont care about AU stuff but. It's literally so. IT FITS TOOO WELLLLL IT JUst fits. So well. And maybe if it didn't fit so nicely then it wouldn't be a problem but. It's. Literally. Ugh. Each day I get closer and closer to posting that draft. Especially now with my TF2 resurgence more than ever. And especially especially especially with me just getting done having a really good round playing as Medic after not touching Medic in. Ages. I'm so sorry to [Other Character] for assigning you [TF2 Character], I promise [stand out trait in both characters] was just a mass coincidence, I didn't make the connection till a complete after thought I swear I gave you [TF2 Character] for actual reasons and not just "haha funny thing here." I am only slightly sorry to [Other Other Character] for assigning you [TF2 Character] because it is such a blatant eye-roll of an assignment on the surface level but you two were both based on the same cliché type of person and go figure that's who I gave you but. It really just lines up shockingly stupidly well. And I'm sorry it is such a basic answer but I swear there is slight depth to it. And I'm stopping there because I could totally potentially give away who this is about if someone just Googles the TF2 classes because it is. So blatant. Which I hate that this AU also fits a TF2 ship that I used to really love when I was like. In early middle school. I never really got deep into ships especially now(excluding the obvious of self shipping), it just never got my kicks too hard, I mostly just find it as a silly thing of "this could be really neato"/"This is practically just me and [A Character] all over again".

I dont even think about [Other Character] and [Other Other Character] and me in a trio sort of scenario unless you want to count the occasional imagines I have of how it would go if i was inserted into the source material timeline events cause normally my imagines are completely unrelated to that. But. Here is like the one moment of okay. Direct interaction. Really really hitting all the fanfic tropes with this one guys. Two characters who mutually like the same other person and that person mutually likes both of them back and they are all moderately aware of this and all proceed to be the biggest pains in the asses to one another about the entire thing and it is a really dumb slow burn sort of thing, the fun ends once they have to sit down and actually draw awareness to it. The. The fun is the stupidity of it. In good TF2 fashion and that gets to bleed into the AU. I don't know if anything I said in this post made any sense at all without any context. Maybe I ratted myself out. Maybe not. I'm not super concerned if I did because like I said I have that post as a draft so it's like a consideration of One Day I will explain to the public eye all my little thoughts. But. I don't know. Embarassment or something.

[pant--eater]

Yes i am going to be annoying about Frifnab on main again, big surprise

Raaaahhhdhdhj i'll probably be dissecting this passage in the book till the day I die :'''D I LOVE how this scene adds practically nothing of particular importance in the book's core plot of Rumo's journey, you could remove it entirely and it would not affect the story. And yet it contains so much??

Even back when I was 15, something about this scene always felt so unsettling and hopeless and yes, even sad to me, even though Gornab generally is a morally depraved awful guy. Before this scene, he is shown at his absolute highest and happiest as his army marches through the Gornab's Echo. He has never in his life left his comfy capital city before, but now he finally gets to see how massive and mighty his kingdom actually is. Hel is but a grain of sand compared to the rest of Netherworld.

Maybe it was even more than he could handle? Maybe deep down a part of him is starting to internalize how insignificant he is really is, how the status of a God King in Hel means nothing compared to the ancient dark caverns, which will be around long after he is gone. (Major Ozymandias vibes :DD)

The whole thing of "his mighty kingdom suddenly feels terrifying to him" hnmgghhhnnnggg i am normal. A high and mighty tyrant now feels almost as helpless as little Rumo at the Floating Rocks

And then the way he just helplessly cries out into the darkness for Friftar, clings to the most secure person in his life, meanwhile the reader knows from earlier scenes that his adviser is currently dying to the Suicide Squad,,, yeah my heartstrings explode every time 🥲🥲🥲 even though these 2 gross freaks absolutely deserved their demises LMFAO

The gay ass frifnabpilled part of my brain also likes to also imagine that Gornab's and Friftar's souls have kind of a fucked up, toxic version of the Silver Thread soulbonding that Rumo and Rala share :DD Gornab maybe, deep in his bones, senses subconsciously the death that Friftar is going through right now, senses that he will never see his adviser again even if he did come back victorious from Hel. He can't explain the feeling but oh boy why does he feel so alone????

Ps also bless Dirk Bach's audiobook reading of this scene, because Gornab's visceral sad little scream "TARFRIIIIF!! RUMWA BEHA ICH ANGST?? 😢" is just chefs kiss

[greenplantlizard]

drive saga mach & heart!!!

bet you thought id forgotten- nah i dont think anyone following this regularly thinks ive forgotten anything anymore, other than a few more obscure promos and a couple bonus dvds i cannot find for the life of me believe me i tried

gou angst followed by him making funny faces while dozing off, you welcome back kamen rider drive

don't worry you, we will restore your almost boyfriend

we definitely got the right core... right? right?

whoops

Part Heart

and brain, and also medic, oh this is going to be interesting

the dysfunctional polycule is now all one

gou is a broken man

you've killed him

i didnt think they made that many roidmudes

LMAO HELLO? wasting no time making this man shirtless i see

just one man and his tulpas of his friends

ah they have him on suicide squad rules

heart seems a heck of a lot nicer than he was before he died

gen has entered FULL flanderisation mode

and thus heart decided to join the cops because... why not i guess

ah... another villain targeting the people roidmudes have copied... for real this time!!!

why hello medic's original

well there was more like 110, but one of those was empty to be fair

ahhh the reason why this is 5886 is neat :D

even heart doesn't wanna befriend this thing

the speed wild technic gag is funny :D

the girls are fightingggggggggg

poor heart

why hello main rider cameo

OH YEAH THE JUDGE ROIDMUDE

this actually slaps even with gen in full comedy mode

"you're just a worthless human!" "worthless...? it's like you didn't even watch kamen rider ghost"

it is time for kamen rider heart real

it's almost as if... his real strength... was his heart

the fusion of drive type tridoron with the heart design is actually pretty cool

oop see ya 005

so long, heart, brain and medic, it was good to see youse again

next time brain will be a kamen rider, mark his words...

but there's more toys afoot...

Part Mach

here comes 005 once more!!!

holy shit gou what are you doing

i see gou has cured around about zero of his mental illnesses this is wonderful

kiriko is even calling him out for it

every minute convinces me more than i was already convinced that this kid needs therapy

wuh-oh

sir that is a plastic bike

well this is a misunderstanding

gou truly has a knack for hanging around the embodiments of his trauma huh

yippee fugitives!

oh fuck not another evil digital father!!! and this one is the riddler?

recieve the plastic bike in these troubled and thematic paralleling times

someone should tell reiko at some point that they actually believed in her

well damn this got real dark real fast

and now we bring the kamen rider drive supplementary material full circle, with dark 005

gou is aware that liking true crime doesn't make you inherently evil

i appreciate the slightly batshit decision to have both this and drive saga heart on the same disc

woman + gun = peak movie

gou will singlehandedly hunt down all the evil kamen rider dads in future

here's a good example of a thrown-together movie monster suit actually working pretty well

eternally haunted by his robot crush

dunno why it's a signal bike/shift car when both mach and chaser are bike guys

it's an equally emotionally satisfying payoff to kr heart, but i do like the heart suit more

another evil dad destroyed

what timing lmao

and thus gou and reiko became close... they should both absolutely go to therapy though

hi shinnosuke what are you doing here

anyway that's how gou discovered he's bi

the end of a fun little post-series outing, you might have figured i left this till now as a little treat in case i didnt like the ending of ghost, if that's what you thought then you're absolutely right :)

[prettypretentiousprincess]

As Many Apples As it Takes

Original work by prettypretentiousprincess

TW: CLEAR THEMES/MENTIONS/ALLUDING TO SA, SA OF A MINOR, PDF, NOT GRAPHIC BUT VERY CLEAR PLEASE BE ADVISED

Coughs of sick children ring out through the hallways

The lights are harsh and at least one bulb in every room always flickers

You’ve told the front desk, the nurses, the doctor

The flickering never ceases

Unchangingly unbearable on your weakened eyes

They call your name from the doorway

It is long and sharp and you can’t recognize it as your own

Your mother prompts you to stand, so you do

You walk in and you try climb up onto the table

You’re going into middle school and the table is still your very own mount everest

You eye your mother helplessly

She loudly tells you to ask for the step stool yourself

You won’t ask for yourself

The nurse will bring one out anyway

She will look to your mother, with a knowing look

She will not look to you, but at you

Sizing you up with a condescending smile

You wonder when sick little girls become knowing, condescending women 

Women worthy of being looked to, not at

You wonder when it will happen to you

The paper on the bed crinkles and tears beneath you

As if your mere presence is abuse towards it

Your mother speaks for you 

The nurse does her routine

An opener to distract from the main event

They both leave and you are told to undress

You look for hidden cameras like on T.V.

You pretend that will make a difference

It is your first time wearing a bra to the doctor

You contemplate leaving it on but fear additional condescending smiles, or worse

You take it off and suddenly the weight of adolescence has congregated to these things on your chest

The room is colder than you remember

You make your best attempt at messily tying the gown

You sit back on the bed, the paper-covering now in complete disarray

Using the step stool the nurse should’ve offered automatically after she had checked your height

You sit and you wait for the hands to find you again

The door swings open and you notice the changes before you acknowledge the catalyst for them

The broken bulb pulses quicker

Words stretch and sharpen and stab

The air bites you in all the wrong places

His voice is too even in contrast to the frenzy he incites

Your abhorrence to the sickly sweetness almost rivals your fear towards coldness to come 

Blinding smiles hiding a silver tongue

Encasing you in a faux warmth 

Thick, gelatinous, consuming

A synthetic strain of lust dressed as love

Only to freeze you right where you stand

Repressing you, allowing hands to wander and roam

Hands that freeze your skin and burn your core, till it all aches the same

A monument of what happens when little girls are to be seen and not heard

Cemented in a childhood that was stolen in the same touch

Cursed to remain thawing out while other kids were growing up

You are still apologizing to the paper-covering in your head for your destruction towards it

While hands you never permitted access, infiltrate parts of your body that you cannot yet name

You know it’s over when the hands fall away to leave room for the cold to cut you further

When the frenzy of flashing bubs finally ceases

Leaving behind the standard sickening fluorescence that envelops the office

One bulb stays flickering

You finally find the courage to speak

“That light is still flickering.”

It comes out as a weak joke, bland and observational

He laughs and the coldness sends one last shiver down your spine

As if the sound fragmented into your body

He leaves and the room stays frigid

You scowl at the light bulb blinking weakly at you from the corner

You redress and attempt to make nice with the paper-covering on the bed

You don’t know who you are trying to impress

Your mother comes back in 

She tells you it's time to go, so you go

Back through the hall, past the desk, out the door

You reach the car and you turn the seat heater on in August

You finally get home and realize that in all of that time you have had one, singular thought

“Was it because I took my bra off?’

[the-queerview]

The Substance

2024

by Coralie Fargeat

My dear readers, it's been a while since I decided to post. It was a long summer, ending with me visiting North Korea, just kidding, i just saw North Korea, which is already pretty amazing and frightening. Unfortunately my experience was disrupted, since a few week before my arrival some American tourist ran into North Korea and got shot, rest in peace idiot. They say never judge a deceased and in retrospective, i can't since those tours are literally disneyland trader joes tourist traps kind of, but lets not roast on peoples buisnisess here, lets roast the films, that take us on rides in our grey existence.

I would like to start by saying, that it's a pretty good year for babes and a pretty good year for horror film. We had Brat summer and soon there will be Nosferatu Autumn, with Lily Rose Depp starring in Nosferatu (102 years after its first release). We have Hunter Schaefers first cinema film, where she is not there for like 5 minutes like in Hunger games or entirely Naked for a few minutes like in Lanthimos kinds of kindness. Not to hate on nudity here, but we have a quite problematic history with women* and nudity. I highly recommend here Linda Nochlins representing women, on womens representation within western art history paintings, which is till todays core a major influence on cinematography. Which brings me to start today with a Portrait by Gericault, titled : Monomaniac of Envy (Monomane de l’envie) from 1822.

The Substance is a film following Elisabeth Sparkle ( Demi Moore), a former Oscar winner now aging TV -Starr with an aerobic ( I assume) show. (We might be remembered here of Jane Fonda, who indeed was an actress and the figure for aerobic in the 80s, when american propaganda preached they can't control the world in post vietnam war america and they only thing they can control is the BODY.) Elisabeths nasty boss is firing here for being to old, sad and isolated as she is, we don't learn so much, about her inner world. They cinematograpghy is resembling a distant, almost, stretched, lets say overdrawn perspective, probably similar to the characters inner world. Everything is clean, but not personal. Theres a giant photograph of Elisabeth in her almost comic looking loft. It reminds me somehow of older sowiet films, where a picture of Lenin would hang on the walls or some shit, so I thought, damn, the main dictator in Elisabeths Life is probably herself. And turns out right. Long story short, I try not to spoiler the grande scenes here, but one word, the billboard scene.. Elisabeth gets in contact to an anonymous note by an anonymous person, after some tragedy, and orders the SUBSTANCE. She will pick it up, inject it, and after some alien shit, which you see in the first picture, a second version of herself, that is herself will crawl literally out of her back. This version is young, hot, and will fuck Elisabeth up. Her name is Sue ( Margaret Qualley) and the rule is, that Sue got 7 days, and Elisabeth got 7. If one breaks the rule, they basically both fucked.

So the movie itself, is literally like, when popstars get the chance, like i dont know, rihanna doing superbowl singing all her bangers. kind of this vibe, So for horror film nerds, and i m sure i didnt guessed all but we have of course, david lynchs twin peaks and pretty sure wild at heart. we have suspiria by dario argento, especially the soundtrakc and BLOOD, we have some cronenberg body horror, and crazy camera like in gaspard noes enter the void, but all in all, i guess, what i was missing in the film, is that the first half was literally fucking amazing. it had it's own signature, it didn't need the references from my part, like yeah those dude directors did important work, i wish Fargeat would trust herself maybe more, that what shes doing is the right thing to go for. Also I literally loved ALL THE DETAILS. Like i could start analyzing so many bits of it.

I loved, that it was dealing with Envy, fear or aging, MISOGYNY, and comparison in such a smart way. The first half of the film, felt like an entire advertisment, which is the core to all evil, as we know. We literally spent actually years of our lifes watching advertisments.

The second half of it, reminded me to much of 80s body horror, it had its campy moment. And here I m being unfair probably. I did my research and Coralie Fargeat is born 1976. She was a a child in the 80s, and this was a time, that formed her culturally and therefor aesthetaically to a certain degree... or did you never noticed that fashion designers usually end up designing clothes, that they loved to wear as kids/teens? I feel like, if Coralie Fargeat felt like working in this 80s rubber stuff was important for, fuck , let her do it. Also in the 80s there weren't many female filmmakers around, especially not in the dudy dude horror scene. So whatever.

Also I was tbh in shock about the violence. Like many times, my partner had to close my eyes in the cinema, cuz i was hella scared of the intense violence. Maybe Kira Muratova ( an amazing ukranian filmmaker, that I truly adore for insane films) was right, when she said, women make harder films. I wonder if it has something to do with being in pain every month, of the injustice of the binary patriarchal world, or the violence transwomen experience?

There was for sure a very insanity level of violence, but at the same time, the most stunning portrayal of envy against a version of yourself, that you might never see. I loved that it also reflected so much the world in a sense, the decadence of the west, hollywood, glamour, age, ozempic, comparison, starving for youth vs the isolation of those from the current wars in the middle east, the starvation in Sudan. The proatogists were isolated in every scene almost. The Bathroom was the scenery of the crime, similar to the way we use this room to get ready for the outer world. The only real personal details in the film I experienced in the notes, those handwritten notes, that would always appear. I kept thinking about them for days. They became almost a metaphor for me, that different then then all the advertisments, the substance delivery typography, all those for Elisabeth Sparcle seemingly important objects, where not personal, thou its about her,about her body. while those handwritten notes by the strangers, seemed more personal, then the things that surround her, since trough the handwriting they are proof of a human life. Turns out, they were a signifer of what is missing in her world, the way she experience having the body, its no intimate, not adressed.

Also Demi and Margaret were so fucking amazing, i 'm literally blown away. Like i WISH i could like scream and hug them and be like. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. I bet all their friends and family are proud like crazy. This shit was insane, playing that? Insane. They did so good, like not many ppl can read a script like that and be like...mhhh yup. So GRANDEUR APPLAUSE !!!!!!!

All in all I highly recommend checking out the Substance, I m sorry if I spoilered to much. Big trigger warning for violence, also some scenes are literally gross, depending on you, bring a friend or a lover, and watch it in the cinema, if your socio cultural situation allows you to, i can imagine this film being censored, otherwise just be illegal literally. Like we live in hell.

but dont watch it alone, only if you are freaky deaky i guess.

love to my readers.

the queerview

ps: Also I did watch blink twice by Zoë Kravitz. a queerview will follow, but its so hardcore to watch blink twice and p.diddies freak party assault stuff. mentally i cant go down that road, but Kravitz did literally on time...

[baji-sideblog]

Sooo Topaz's first thought when y/n's butt is sticking out is to do sex things? Ohh no Topaz, I can't seem to find the flour in the bottom cupboard. Guess I have to keep looking as my butt is up in the air as I'm bent over. lol, sorry sorry, just being silly. Sorry sorry lol

Lol don’t apologize I’m so happy she’s getting mentioned! I was a little worried she wouldn’t get anything at first so it’s nice seeing y’all ask about my girl.

Cw lewd eating out reader, no specific parts are mentioned besides core

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Topaz chuckles seeing you try to tempt her especially since the flour was clearly in the pantry on the third shelf.

“Oh my well then why don’t I help you out my cute little spouse~ I’m sure your wife can help give you what you desire.”

She kneels down behind you, one hand on your back pushing you down so your ass is up higher. Her free hand rubs against your clothed core before ripping a hole to free your delicious features from your pants and underwear.

“You smell absolutely divine my love but I know you taste even sweeter. And I’m ready for my dessert.”

She bends down using her fat tongue to lap up your most sensitive parts with a feral delight. Her tongue working it’s way into you with ease teasing your insides. Every time you gasped or squirmed against her you can feel the vibrations of her chuckle. She moves her hands onto your thighs pulling you right against her face as she becomes more desperate to have you fall apart with her tongue.

Her grip was tight her claws digging into your skin enough to leave a mark but not to make you bleed. She pulls away for a second only to shove her tongue inside of you suddenly forcing it to go as deep as it can inside of you. And the moment you let out the most delectable moan when she hits the right spot Topaz focus hers efforts onto it solely. Till you’re seeing stars as you climax thanks to her efforts? Topaz quickly licks up all of your love juices a little smirk on her mouth.

“Just as delicious as I knew you’d be, but now let’s get to the main part of dessert I’m still so hungry after all.”

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[taevith]

Show analysis

I've constantly thought of ways I could go about talking bout shows or movies I'm watching and just talk about how they make me feel. I feel like I can't get that in my daily life and don't have people I feel comfortable going on and on about how some random show made me cry because I saw myself in the main character. So I figure why not make a blog about? I don't really plan to make it some well typed essay or anything, just letting my thoughts spill out. So I'm gonna start this with...

Carol and the end of the World

This will all be written with the assumption you, the reader, have seen the show/movie

Episode 1: Carol is depressed. And I feel a lot of that. It's like everyone else is "normal" and I'm just here trying to cope and I just want things to go back to how they used to be. Wether or not how things used to be is better or worse for me is irrelevant. I want things to go back to how they were so I can feel... Sane. Why can't I just be happy, like them?

On a separate note, holy shit do I know those kinda guys. Hell I was that kinda guy once. Desperate, lonely, afraid... I guess I'm still lonely. Just lost the desperation. It's hard being alone, feeling lonely. You meet someone you feel like you match with and they do something that makes you rethink. Often something small, though sometimes something as big as saying Im in love with you on the second date. And I just... Run. I'm scared.

Did this episode make me cry? Yes.

Episode 2: it's a distraction. All of it. Just something to feel normal, to not think about it. Busy work to keep your mind busy so it doesn't have to think about... Everything. The gun was a bit of a wild turn but hey, it's an animated show for adults by Netflix, you gotta expect some odd curve balls.

The frantic searching felt a lot like the lead up to a panic attack. You're mind just racing and not shutting up because it thinks this is the most important thing in the world. If I don't do this I will literally die. But you won't, Carol wouldn't. It's just a job/it's just a distraction. At any time she could stand up and leave. It's uncontrolled anxiety. Anxiety is important, it keeps us alive, but people with anxiety problems, like myself, their anxiety finds everything to be a threat. A slight hick up and our worlds spiral. In the moment it feels so final.

To speak on the object in the sky, I honestly see its an inevitably. Death comes for us all, it's inevitable. Instead of spending our time on art or hobbies everything just feels pointless. That's why we use distractions. Anything to shut our brain up. Make it work just enough it that it doesn't have time to think, but not too much to wear us out. Anything to keep from obsessing over the inevitable.

Episode 3: let me start by talking about Daddy- no sorry, Daddy- no sorry, the captain. Lol. Don't know why, like dat man.

Anyways, pretty chill episode, till the end anyways. With how things are right now in America... I can't help but feel for Donna. It may not be about this but it certainly compares.

I forget his name, but the male coworker said something really deep that hit me in the core. Friends and experiences come and go and you just kinda feel... Numb after a while. This episode made me cry.

Episode 4: I love episode about siblings. It's always reminds me of just how special my relationship with my brother is. I love him to the end of the earth and farther. He really means the world to me. I wouldn't be here without him. I look up to him. He's always been there when I needed him and I always wish there was some way to pay him back for it all. I know that silly.

Episode 5: I didn't think this episode was gonna be so impactful at first. It starts out very quirky and kinda run of the mill, till David dies, that is. It's kinda difficult to put into words what exactly this made me feel. It was nice seeing them all regain their humanity in the face of such tragedy. Half a year and everyone dies. And David not even being able to make it to the end... Kinda makes me think of suicide. It's not how he died in story, but we distract ourselves from the inevitable and sometimes we just can't make it. Wether that be through personal or natural causes. It's sad to think he could have had more life ahead of him, even if it WAS only 6 months.

That's all for this post. I'm really enjoying the series and can't wait to see if they are actually going to go through with the world ending or not.

[do0zy-artz]

Reunited - Chapter Two: Old Hobbies - 2K Words

Fwhip has another hard day, and spends it remembering things he wishes he still had.

A03 Link

One day, Fwhip gets an old urge to make something again. It really shouldn't shock him, when it happens. He was an inventor at his core, and always had been his whole life. It's been six months since he even saw a workbench, let alone sat at one and actually made something new, or chipped away at a new project. The urge to create after all this time is only a natural thing, and he knows that. But that doesn't mean he has to like the urge. 

He even sits down at his desk, in the workshop he had. Well, the work room Gem said he could have, the one right across the hall from her own little spell room or whatever she called it. Fwhip hadn’t used the space for its intended purpose at all though, treating one side as an office of sorts; with papers and half finished sketches piled onto a desk. The other was treated like his own personal library, with two bookshelves full of god knows what books crammed in there. The place was also full of whatever he'd managed to save from the manner, most of that stuff being together on one shelf. Like they were too precious to be contaminated by any of the other, newer things lying around the home. 

It takes him a few minutes of sitting at his desk, of looking around for a spare tool or pen, to even realize what he’s trying to do. He’s just running on old habits, doing things that had long been committed to muscle memory during long hours in his forge and workshop. It was just like he was back home, in the Grimlands, getting ready to start a new project for the empire. It was just like the good ole days….

When Fwhip does realize what he’s doing, the realization hits him hard. Very hard. Enough to render the former count motionless for a few seconds, staring at the wood of his new desk blankly. The wood of his new desk, not the well loved and charred one of his old one back in his workshop. His workshop, the one right down the hall from the meeting room and his bedroom he never slept in. Not right next to his sister’s own workspace in a small house they built with their own two (mostly Gem’s uninjured) hands, but a manor that had been his childhood home for generations. His home that was gone because of him. 

The ginger makes a strangled noise, grumbles to himself, and stops looking around his desk for a stupid pen or wrench of whatever. Instead he folds his hands over themselves, fingers tight with tension he didn’t even know he had left in him, and just….lets them rest there. He didn’t used to do that, before the explosion and his injuries. The half dragon had never let himself rest, he used to always be fidgeting, always going going going. Now he could just sit still for a while, and not feel the need to move at all. (Take that ADHD, or whatever undiagnosed neurological thing he probably had.)

His gaze, now somber, shifts to the window. It’s not even a minute till his eyes are trained on the river, one as blue and full of life as his own gaze used to be; once upon a time. It was the main reason he, Gem, and the villagers they had with them had settled here, because it was a good source of water, one they could filter for drinking and fish and water the crops from and swim in. It’s his favorite spot to look at, whenever he needs to stare out the window and think. Or when he needs to take a lonesome walk. For a lot of reason; because it’s pretty, it reminds him of the one back home, and of…..a certain someone Fwhip takes a lot of care to name nowadays, lest it bring the choking guilt and sense of failure back into his throat.

He feels like the biggest failure in the goddamn world, that's what he feels like. And it's a fitting feeling too, considering he'd been the one who'd ended it. Fwhip’s the one who had the idea, to make that new dumb Codfather’s head, who’s forge blew up and destroyed everything and killed people. All of that, that was all him. All the blood was on his hands.

It was a plain and simple fact, in the half dragon’s mind at least. He failed. He failed his friends, his family, his kingdom, everyone. Fwhip had failed all of them, and there was nothing he could do to change if. There was no way he could go back in time and undo everything, save everyone, even if he wanted to. Even if he wanted to more than anything in the world. Or well, what's left of the world anyways. 

It was his fault the Grimlands was nothing but a pile of rubble. It was his fault the Ocean and the swamps had drained. It was his fault the Mezalean Matreal Palace had been split in half. It was his fault debris had fallen and destroyed the Crystal Cliffs Academy. It was his fault all the other empires had been sent ablaze. It was his fault all their friends and all those innocent people had died. It was all Fwhip’s fault, no matter which way you viewed it. All of it was his and his alone.

A frown becomes firmly etched on his face, as Fwhip sits there for whoever knows how long and thinks. He thinks about home, all the things he lost in the explosions and the fire. The memories and the lives and all his staff and his friends and his people and Clara . He thinks about the other empires and emperors too, the ones missing, the ones alive and the ones they knew were dead. The ones they knew were dead because they’d had to find out through what little gossip and hearsay they got. Because at the end of the day he and Gem had run, and hadn’t gone to pick up anyone else. They hadn’t even checked if they were bodies to bury or any people to save, just packed up what was left of their things and got on her dragons. And cried, they’d cried a lot. It was selfish of them, both of the twins knew, but they hadn’t known what else to do at the time. Fwhip wishes they hadn’t done that, but that was in the past. There’s nothing they can do now. All they can do is take care of themselves, and the people that have been found along the way, and just try and survive.

Fwhips holds back a sound or two, a wet sob maybe, and rests his forehead against his folded hands. There’s a lot of grief choking his chest today, a lot of regrets too. And the pain, the pain that was present in his legs and the phantom ones that never left his backside for long. Today is a very painful day, on both the emotional and physical fronts. He hates those days. But couldn’t help it when they happened; even if they and how useless they made him feel annoyed him to no end. Mental illness was a bitch, or whatever Gem said. 

When he removes his head from his hands, he’s composed again, the best he can be, and biting down on his tongue in an effort to keep his sad little dragon sounds back. Worst part about being a hybrid that was, your body is moving and making sounds based on your emotions and not what your brain wants them to do. Though he was missing all of the limbs that could do that now. The involuntary little half dragon sounds were still unaffected, very unfortunately. The explosion couldn't even take away the inconvenient things, because of course it couldn’t.

Fwhip lifts his head again, all that grief and sadness and pain pushed down for now. Hopefully for the rest of the day too, if he’s lucky; because they wore him out and he’s sick of dealing with all that constantly. He lifts his head, eyes fixed back on his beloved little river, and doesn’t hear the footsteps approaching the room, too lost in his own thoughts and reminiscing. He also doesn’t notice the presence at the doorway, even though she watches him for a good few minutes, the world entirely blocked out as Fwhip remembers a happier time; in a different place with a different man he very much would give what’s left of the world to see again, even it would only be for a few precious seconds. He’d give anything, anything at all.

“You’re staring at the river again.” Gem notes from behind him, leaning against his doorway. Her brother jumps at the noise, not having heard her approach. She’s always good at sneaking up on people, much better than his clumsy self had ever been.

“And?” Fwhip asks, not turning to look at her. He keeps his eyes firmly fixed out the window, not wanting to tear them away. Not yet. He also doesn’t want to look at Gem. doesn’t want to see whatever pitying look she’s probably giving him. Probably.

“You need to talk about him, Fwhip.” His sister says, her gaze piercing into his backside. He shifts uncomfortably under it, a frown forming on his face in record time. This isn’t the first time they’ve had this conversation, and it won’t be the last, either. Fwhip knows his sister is just trying to help, help heal and get better, but he really really wishes she would drop the damn topic. He doesn’t like thinking about it and all the pain it brings. “I don’t.” Is all he says, feeling his whole body go stiff with tension. He does need to talk about it, most likely. He knows it would stop him from waking up crying in the night, from dreams and resurfaced memories. But the thought of it feels too large, too much of a task to conquer. So the half dragon doesn’t need to. He’s fine. He’s absolutely fine not talking about it.

“ Yes, you do!” Gem exclaims, throwing her arms up in the air just a bit. The conversation just started and she already sounds exasperated beyond belief. Which means he’s being extra frustrating today, or she walked in here in a sour mood. The ginger thinks it’s a mix of both today. “You need to talk about him instead of just…just moping over it!” 

“I’m not moping , I’m just reasonably sad. ” He fires back, glancing over his shoulder just a little bit. If only to throw a glare at his twin, if nothing else. Or a disapproving frown, at the very least.

“You walk around the river aimlessly and looking all dejected.” Gem deadpans, her arms being crossed over her chest. And, even though he wants to, the inventor can’t deny that she has a point. He does do that at least once a week, when things get too heavy and his mind needs to be cleared. Or he just needs to grieve . “That literally fits both definitions of moping!”

“I’ll talk about him later.” Is all he says, starting to turn back to the window again. So he can watch the river again, and then keep watching it for the next few hours. Like he’d been perfectly content to do before he was so rudely interrupted.

Gem sighs, sounding annoyingly exasperated at him. He hates when she sounds like that, he really does. It’s grated on his nerves like nothing else since they were children. Usually  because it meant she was being stupidly stubborn and not getting the goddamn hint. (And for all he loved his sister, she could be the most grating woman alive at times. But hey, what were twins for?) “You always say that.”

“Maybe it's because I don’t want to talk about it!” Fwhip snaps, feeling his tail stub twitch when he speaks. If the rest of it was still there, he knew it’d be lashing with annoyance. And maybe his wings would be flaring out in anger too, if they hadn’t been so horribly torn to shreds months ago. He doesn’t want to talk about Jim —about him . It hurts too much, even though it’s been six, almost seven, months, it still hurts too much to talk about. It hurts that he left and went missing , that he’s not here and that Fwhip’s the reason he’s gone —

“Sorry….I’m sorry. For pressing.” Gem sighs, backing down a little easier than she normally might. She even gives him an apologetic look, before moving her own gaze to the wall. “I just want you to be happy again, that’s all.”

Fwhip snorted, his gaze fixed firmly on the river once more. He knows that he’s probably being too harsh right now, but he can’t help it. “Well that’s gonna be pretty damn hard.” His tone was sharp, and ears flattened back. He hadn’t truly been happy in almost a year, and didn't see that changing anytime soon. 

“Sorry.” Gem repeats again, a frown in her voice once more. She's no longer leaning against the doorway, now starting to retreat back down the hall. Her voice fading with her footsteps, and the next words called over her shoulder distantly. Good riddance , is all her older brother can really think upon hearing them. Even if it is a bit mean spirited, admittedly. “I’ll go feed the cows now.”

“Yeah. Okay.” Fwhip says over his shoulder, his gaze never moving from the water. Gem can go feed the cows all she wants, like she was probably supposed to be doing right now. She can do whatever the hell she wants for all her twin cares, as long as he’s left alone and isn’t pestered about looking at the river again. 

He doesn't need to talk about it.

[dajaregambler]

HeliosR - Sing in the darkness - Chapter 2 - Part 25

Translation of Sing in the darkness from ‘Helios Rising Heroes’, a new side arc alongside the current main story arc Like the dawning light.

Marion: As always we will begin with squatting 150 kilograms in three sets for improving metabolism.

Marion: Afterwards for the legs, chest, shoulders, arms, back, core and abs… I suppose push-ups would suffice

Gast: Oi, Marion. Thought I said this earlier but, we only 30 minutes to spare for today

Marion: You’ll individually adjust in order to finish in 30 minutes.

Ren: How many sets?

Marion: Your pacing decides that, obviously.

Gast: Hell no! Don’t be ridiculous!

Marion: Listen, this should be a routine you do on the regular. Don’t start whining about this much already.

Marion: And that you dare to defy my instructions… If you want to become stronger, shut your mouth and obey me!

Gast & Ren: ….!

Bianchi: Oh dear. Same as ever, that Marion-chan

Sage: He’s with the rookies♪

Jude: Are these rookies?

Sage: Yeah, they’re North’s Gast-kun and Ren-kun. Marion-kun’s mentees. 

Jude: Huuh, first time I see ‘em

Bianchi: Hold on, you’ve seen them around. I’m sure you passed them how many times now since their admission

Jude: ? Don’t remember a single thing…

Bianchi: Because it doesn’t interest you? Not only the rookies, but you treat our superiors the same. 

Jude: Haha, what can I say. Everyone except Bianchi looks the same in my eyes

Sage: Eh

Jude: Hm?

Jude: …No worries, Sage. I can barely differentiate you and Nico. 

Sage: Um, haha… I’ll take that for what it is

Marion: Lower yourself more! Exactly there, stay put for four minutes like that!

Gast: Hyeeeegh! You demon!!!!!

Marion: Pipe down the squeling! Move an inch and you’ll get the whip!

Ren: Ngh…

Bianchi: Oh my gosh, Marion-chan’s like so spartan~ And his cute face hasn’t changed either♡

Sage: Marion-kun’s doing his best to be a mentor. All while he’s close in age with the rookies… He’s seriously impressive!

Bianchi: Fufufu

Sage: What is it, Bianchi-san?

Bianchi: Nothing. Seeing Marion-chan’s way of dealing with the rookies is making me subconsciously smile

Sage: ? Hm, right♪

Bianchi: Fufu

Bianchi: Ah that’s right, Sei-chan. Will you be going to Robin’s place after you’re done with training?

Sage: Yeah, that’s the plan

Sage: By the way Nico contacted me that he’ll be going before us. Think he wants to go grocery shopping and help with cooking.

Bianchi: Nico-chan has quite mastered Robin’s recipes during these three years. 

Bianchi: His insatiable curious mind for food is something else. Honestly, it’s impressive… 

Sage: Ahaha. He’s unusually calm and collected about other things, which makes it all the more remarkable

Jude: The hour for gathering is 6 pm, right? I’ll head off for some laps in the pool until it’s just about time. 

Sage: Got it. I’ll go ahead and let Sensei now

Jude: I owe you for that one

Bianchi: You don’t have to force yourself to come each time?

Bianchi: Since you… hate Robin even till this day, no?

[mockedandmonitored]

What would the Clockmen be like in this au? I doubt the skibidis could do the same thing to Titan Clockman that they did to the other three with how tough he is.

I am on the fence about adding the clockmen due to their unpredictable nature. With the push that the Armada made on the main Alliance, they wouldn't be able to answer any distress calls or expand outward ( to what I assume is Britain-). With the TVmen faction being essentially crippled from the forces they're used to, the focus would be trying to get them back on their feet. Plus there's also the mess with Alpha's Dadd- sorry I mean Master. However if We're Just talking about the Clockmen for now and nothing else,

I would say that they would originally help provide resistance against the Armada after the defeat of the TVmen, however due to their lack of numbers, lack of (safe) transportation And Veeery few medics, they're more cautious. When the fall became worse, they had to flee and cut contact with the rest of the alliance or Chief would have to risk his own men for a uphill battle, Of course they took the hardware members which were with them during the fall but wouldn't put themselves out there to become too much of a threat to the Armada. After the war ended they fled far from what becomes the major city of the Armada, taking what they could from their original base and relocating to where the Armada would have a rough time finding them. Of course not everyone was on board but it would be hard to assist everyone if they were captured just like them. Topaz (or Titan Clockman.) 100% could wipe out a few districts and currently the only solution right now is to stab that MF in the core while he's looking at a butterfly. That or throw magnets at him till he drops. To be completely honest I have No way of fitting him in other than Chief telling the others it's too risky to rush in, not to mention pointless destruction against people who really don't know better at this point. To try and fit it in, the entire Metropolis is surrounded by a barrier which happens to protect against the Clockmen's abilities and would alert everyone if they tried to break it down. (Going under though? Maybe, that's for another race.)