#time to see if that wheat paste really does work I guess

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Sizing the boards and the spine! Time to get everything cut down, then work the leather (big yikes), and sew the headband while everything dries. Book baby is almost done!

C h o n k

[alienducky]

I am once again over thinking things and getting ramble-y about them, and this time it's the Fire Emblem Three Houses Academy Gronder fight, and also a little on traveling

We see in the cut scene that we have more or less a small army of generic NPC's for each house. Which is fine, makes sense, we are recreating an actual war. The students are learning how to be army officers and effectively direct others, we need them to have people to boss about. Besides their personal battalions

There's also Rhea and Seteth and a bunch of random Seiros guards standing at the top of a cliff watching the battle...

Actually I'm going to get sidetracked a moment, because wtf is up with that cliff they stand on? Pretty sure Bergliez territory, aka the bread basket of Fodlan, is "a fertile area near the Airmid River that is well-suited for agriculture". Giant fucking cliffs are not generally conducive to plant farming. Sheep or goat farming, sure. But not crops like wheat. And watching the scene again, there's pretty steep cliffs to the north as well, and I just... Sigh. I know Bergliez is a big territory and probably has multiple terrain types in it, but given what we see in the Houses scene, it's difficult to imagine the majority is nice and flat and plough-able and this is the only cliffy bit. I think I almost prefer the Hopes version of the map...? Actually that's pretty hilly too, though I don't immediately remember background cliffs. Do remember someone saying the Alliance are nice for not torching fields as they left, so maybe this fight area is the one odd spot surrounded by fields? Eh. The game has dragons. Guess I can live with fucked up geography.

Anyway. Back to my original points.

First part is the three colour armies. Who are they? Does each country send some of their own soldiers to help with the mock battle, temporarily lowering their own defenses? Or are they all Serios knights getting to play dress up for the day, meaning a huge chunk of the church army is here? Or are they even the other house students, since we see hundreds of those wandering around, and in Hopes we meet people who say they were in our class/year at the academy (which leads me down a tangent of how I think the academy works, but I can talk about that if anyone's interested). And how long have the houses had to get to know these people, to learn quirks and go over orders and strategies and sneaky plans? Or is it a "You won't always know who you're commanding in a war, tell these people you've never met before what to do in the next five minutes"?

Secondly, there really is a fair few people here for the fight. I'd say at least 100 per colour. At least. And they all had to somehow get there. And we know the students and Seiros lot at least had to come from the Monastery, and the route they take goes through the Alliance and across the bridge at Myrddin. And I could work out the specifics of how long that would take thanks to the amazing sevarix-blogs doing some pretty neat maths, but I'm going to generalise and say several days to get there, and then several days to get back. Because that's definitely not a "there and back in a day" trip. And you lose time setting up and breaking down camps when you travel, especially for that many people.

Which means they're going to clog up the roads. Like. A lot. There's several hundred people all plodding along with their mounts, plus probably supply wagons and healers and other assorted people not involved in actual fighting. This whole thing has got to be so annoying for anyone who lives along the route and needs to use the road while they're on it. Because the procession of people and mounts and vehicles is gonna be long and bulky and noisy, and generally speaking Fodlan roads dont look that great. I can easily imagine any merchant caravans going the opposite way being "encouraged" to move off the road so they can all get past so Rhea isn't inconvenienced

(Though I admit, that's just my take on the Church people. I think Rhea would probably be pretty cool about it, and not want others inconvenienced on her behalf. Her cultfollowers though? Icky)

OR

Or is long distance large group warping a thing that Rhea allows for this yearly event, and possibly the weekend missions where we go to bloody Sreng (which is a whole other thing, because when we go kill bandits do we go through Faerghus, or up to Derdriu and hop on a boat? I have so many questions), but conveniently isn't available post time skip when we need to move our army around? Or maybe it is, since there's no other logical reason to come back to Garreg Mach each month when we'd just need to immediately turn around and leave again

[solomonish]

How To Keep Your Demon Entertained At A Walmart

Congratulations! You've earned yourself a few demon date days up in the human world! But what's this? You have errands to run? Well, we all know these demons can't function without you for more than five minutes....but an entity that's thousands of years old gets a little bored and restless in the hyper-market wasteland of a Walmart...

Nowdateables: coming soon!

Lucifer

if you don't want him getting passive-aggressive about how you should've done this before he got here (yeesh Lucifer some of us have jobs or responsibilities that we can't shove onto our siblings for a day to see our precious mc) then you better be ready to make conversation

definitely not the type to allow you to even think about sending him off so you can get stuff done. he's not even that bothersome, so he'll get offended if you even think about it, but also wouldn't you rather keep him around to reach the top shelves?

basically if you don’t want to keep Lucifer entertained, you have to be the one he needs to keep entertained

do that thing where you roll around on the cart like a skateboard and he’ll be trying to put a stop to it immediately

put random things in your cart that he knows you don’t need and let him take it out and put it back where it belongs

stare him in the eyes as you put that party size brownie mix in your cart then speed walk away. he will come up from an aisle in front of you and silently pluck the box out and take it back. he will come back to see seven boxes of corn dogs and momentarily considers breaking up with you

does not need a treat as a bribe, but will definitely forgive your antics if you bought something from the bakery to snack on as you go home (especially if you did it without him noticing, considering the eagle eye he’s had to have on your cart the whole time)

just don’t have the nerve to complain about the crumbs in your car after that

Mammon

I would say to ask him to scan the area looking for dropped coins on the floor but he'd probably knock down shelves trying to look beneath them so....maybe don't?

also please keep an eye on him or he WILL be shoplifting. human jail is (probably?) a step up from demon jail but like. let's aim for no jail, ok mammon?

instead, give him a pre-portioned off list and tell him it's like a scavenger hunt. he'll scamper off to explore the walmart and his duty to keeping you happy has like a 70% chance of preventing him from stealing anything too important

make sure the stuff you put on the list is kind of hard to find but not too hard. you wanna keep him occupied without risking him freaking out because he can't find this super specific spice you want

either that or only make a really vague list like. tell him you need bread and he'll stand in the bread aisle trying to remember if you like white bread or whole wheat bread until you come to retrieve him

bring money for a treat. if it's near st patrick's day go in the seasonal aisle and hope they have chocolate gold coins

he's not too hard to deal with, but figuring out what's sneaky enough to put on the list is a chore of its own so going by yourself is less work anyway

Leviathan

taking him to walmart was your final fatal mistake

seriously? he has to go in? you could have just left him in the car!!

you take him intending to have him pick out some normie snacks (since you don't have any limited edition whatever-the-fucks in your house right now) but he looks so uncomfortable you make a detour towards the games

just leave him to play on the trial device and go pick out a few things for him to choose from when you circle back to him

arguable the least stressful trip for you until you have to wade through the pool of kids surrounding him and watching him play when it's time to pay and leave

you won't have to buy him anything but you will have to wait for him to finish the level he's on before he lets you drag him away. and he'll probably complain a little bit in the car about how terrible it was to go in in the first place, which a treat would help minimize.

so i guess just pick your battles with this one?

Satan

satan is a refined individual with startling amounts of self control. he does not need pointed in the direction of the books. he can entertain himself on a grocery run.

point him in the direction of the books anyway

their selection is always small (because it’s a walmart not a bookstore) and half of it is children’s anyway so he’ll probably wander off real quick

satan doesn’t need to be entertained, no, he’s past that. he needs to be kept on a leash

you have no way of knowing where he’ll end up. sometimes he’ll be somewhere that makes sense like in the stationary but sometimes you’ll find him staring at the paint samples like it’s a masterpiece in a museum or over by the fishing hooks reading up about local fish populations and how to get a fishing license and you’re just like “???? i’ve been looking for you for twenty minutes???? don’t give me facts about salmon???”

will ask you why you need to buy tires in the same place you get your food. isn’t that suspicious? what do they specialize in?

answer him only with the word “bargains” and he’ll stop asking once he understands or gets annoyed

you don’t need to buy him a treat unless he finds a book he wants. then come on mc, you dragged him out here and you’re NOT gonna let him get this one thing??

Asmodeus

he's fine with making an errand run with you actually!

he's up on the human world for you baby, just make sure to hold his hand so he feels appreciated

asmo is far too entertained with the concept of a walmart for his own good. don't go with him if you want it to be a quick trip because he'll want to go around the whole store

thinks at first that it's kind of nifty that humans just dump all the things they need in one store but is quickly turned off from the novelty when he realizes how short the distance is between the clothes and the nearest package of raw chicken

even if the selection is small, he will want to spend time in the makeup department. probably goes on rants about how he can’t imagine this quality of product is good for your skin

will still buy nail polish though if you let him

overall? not terrible to have around, but make sure you don’t have anywhere to be in the next hour when you take him

Beelzebub

pack a gallon bag of cheerios like he's a toddler and get ready to fucking book it in and out of there

you know how you should never go grocery shopping when you’re hungry? what were you thinking bringing Beel around??

another brother who’s good for reaching tall shelves if you need it

Beel also has this talent where he can just list off the ingredients you need if you happen to forget your list

if you want, you can distract him momentarily by just throwing out random dishes and he’ll get the ingredients right every time (even though they’re human dishes!!) but you’ll end up giving him like five different cravings by the time you leave

only take him if you want to speedrun grocery shopping, because he will start eating food you haven’t paid for if you take too long

bring extra money for that too, just in case he gets caught :(

Belphegor

bringing belphie to walmart isn't a matter of keeping him entertained moreso than keeping him awake

which you will inevitably fail to do

so even if you only need like three things, get him a cart and let him fall into the basket

he’ll try to stay awake (and he’ll give very self-satisfied grins to the people who stare at him ((and especially the ones who say “wow i wanna do that”))) but he can only fight off his sin for so long

stop by the blankets so he can stuff a few soft things in (bc he’s gotta be uncomfortable cramped in the little basket) and he’ll make himself a tiny nest

the good news is you can put anything on top of him and he won’t complain. just don’t drop any gallons of milk on him or anything that’ll wake him up

go to a self check-out so the employees don’t yell at you

after you put your groceries in your car, just dump his ass on the pavement. he’ll forgive you if you bought him the blankets.

[nothing-more-than-hot-leaf-juice]

here lies the complete story of the Crocverse (AtLA zukka modern AU)

The general facts are as follows: 

Iroh owns a croc store and Zuko works there

Sokka works at Trader Joe’s and loves crocs

Bending is a thing

Jeong Jeong owns an antique store and is furious the croc store ruined the vibe of the strip mall

Sokka and Zuko go on a date to Olive Garden

Toph and Zuko hate crocs

Bumi owns a Jamba Juice

Worldbuilding 

This takes place in Florida

Bending is a thing, but it is unclear whether or not the Avatar is a thing 

The 2008 financial crisis was a thing that happened in this universe 

Characters 

Iroh is the new owner of the strip mall Croc store. He loves and appreciates crocs in a big dorky way. 

Zuko is his disgruntled nephew who works at the Croc store. He hates crocs with a passion and is in kind of a Linkin Park phase. (He is not an eboy, no one is an eboy, society has moved past the need for eboys.) 

Sokka works at the local Trader Joe’s. He wears Hawaiian shirts all the gd time. He is incredibly excited about the croc store and gets addicted to buying crocs. He also likes wearing a ‘men want me, fish fear me’ hat and sometimes completes his ensembles with fanny packs. 

Katara works at a Petsmart. 

Jeong Jeong owns an antique store next to the croc store and is pissed that the croc store ruined the vibe of the strip mall. 

It is undecided whether or not Aang works at Bumi’s Jamba Juice or if he works at the Trader Joe’s bakery. Regardless, he’s more of a Birkenstocks guy and finds that crocs and airbending don’t really work together. 

Piandao is the Trader Joe’s manager. 

Hakoda is currently deployed and Sokka is trying his best to cope (with unhealthy shopping habits). 

Dynamics 

Zuko goes to Jamba Juice a lot. Toph also goes to Jamba Juice a lot. They become buds because they go ‘well we’re both loners going into school with few or no friends and we both love Jamba Juice and hate crocs, that’s as good a place as any to start a friendship’ 

Sokka loves to explore Jeong Jeong’s antique store. Jeong Jeong considers Sokka to be a local menace (and he’d never say it but he’s his local menace and would be hurt if Sokka started poking around another antique store). 

Iroh really wants to be friends with Jeong Jeong (who could honestly use a friend, he’s kind of a hermit). Jeong Jeong is firmly annoyed that Iroh ruined the vibe of the strip mall. 

Zuko likes hanging out at the antique store and occasionally runs into Sokka. He voices his displeasure for the croc store on multiple occasions and Jeong Jeong feels incredibly validated. 

Zuko has kind of just planned to not have friends for his senior year. Iroh thinks that unacceptable. 

Iroh loves Sokka’s outfits a whole lot and compliments them all the time (while also trying to set him up with Zuko as friends). 

Sokka initially thinks Zuko is just kind of weird and asocial, but then one day at Petsmart he’s bothering Katara at work and he sees Zuko sitting on the floor of the reptile section just looking at all the tanks. Katara tells Sokka that Zuko basically does this every other day and Sokka realizes how soft this guy is and just kind of goes ‘oh’. 

Sokka goes to the crocstore and buys some pride crocs to send a message to Zuko. Zuko is oblivious. 

Eventually, Sokka pulls the “so… do you want to do an activity together?” and Iroh comes over with a “he’d LOVE to” and gives them an Olive Garden gift card. 

Sokka hopes Zuko thinks this is an actual date, Zuko is unclear on whether or not this is a date but puts on a button down shirt just in case, and Iroh doesn’t realize it’s 100% a date until Zuko comes out with his shirt and Iroh decides that it is of the utmost importance that he does Zuko’s hair. 

The details of the date have been decided on….but @animegenork is writing the actual fic and if you really want the sweet, soft zukka details you’ll have to wait. All I’ll say is there are turtleducks and smooching involved. 

Relevant Backstory 

Iroh didn’t actually want to own a croc store. He used to own his own tea/coffee store, but when the economy tanked and his son died, it ended up going bust. 

Iroh didn’t have much contact with his brother after Lu Ten died because Ozai was an unsympathetic asshole about it. The last time he saw his brother’s family was at Azulon’s funeral. 

A few years after the falling out with Ozai (and Iroh’s contact with his niece and nephew being basically reduced to birthday phone calls) Iroh finally upgrades to an iPhone with Facetime. When he calls for Zuko’s birthday, Iroh is VERY FUCKING DISPLEASED to see that someone has burned off half of Zuko’s face (and it doesn’t take much thinking for him to guess who). 

Iroh scoops Zuko up ASAP and Zuko moves in with him. 

Iroh attempts to bring Azula, but she firmly does not want to go with him and Iroh can’t exactly just kidnap a child in this day and age. 

So instead of reinvesting in a new tea shop, Iroh invests his time in legal work to go after Ozai for being the Fucking Worst™. 

He also puts Zuko in therapy, because god knows the kid needs it. 

Iroh worked in middle management for various retail stores and landed a management position in a croc store. Eventually, he opened up his own branch in Florida (which is where our story starts). 

And really, it wasn’t Iroh’s dream to own a croc store, but he accepts that life doesn’t always go exactly how you plan it. Iroh recognizes that what he can focus on is bringing joy to people and trying to project kindness into the world every day. Maybe you end up onwing a croc store. Maybe you’re in a bunch of bs legal crap because your brother is a monster and there are two kids who need someone, but you can make the best of it and it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy simple pleasure where you find them. 

Other details 

The Crocverse is a Mouth Wheat Boy Free Zone. Jet is just not a croc person. Jet has no reason to enter the croc store. This AU does not have room for Jet. I’m sorry Jet stans. (I’m not.) 

Zuko and Sokka are upcoming high school seniors (age 17). 

Katara is an upcoming junior (16), Aang is an upcoming sophomore (15), and Toph is an upcoming freshman (14). 

The swampbenders are frequent patrons of the croc store because they’re good for marshy areas.

The only people who are actually croc enthusiest in this world are Sokka and Iroh. 

Sokka likes wearing neon turquoise crocs the most. 

Sometimes Iroh wears rainbow tie dye crocs to support his gay nephew .

Final words 

This is what I meant when I said the Crocverse was never really about the crocs. The crocs were just a framing device, they’re just how we got here. At its core, the crocverse is about these characters and their struggles, and more importantly how they find each other despite the struggles. It’s about Zuko learning how to make friends. It’s about Iroh wanting the best for his nephew and trying to make the best of a less than ideal situation. It’s about Sokka trying to figure out what to do now that his dad is gone and learning how to open up about it instead of cope with unhealthy shopping habits and deflection. It’s about going to Petsmart and spending an hour looking at the reptiles because you deserve it. It’s about going to Jamba Juice and making friends with the other loners. It’s about learning that you don’t have to be alone. It’s about ditching Olive Garden for a better date somewhere else and smooching the ridiculous Hawaiian shirt Trader Joe’s employee because he’s funny and caring and maybe, just maybe, you deserve that. It’s about letting new people enter your life when you think you have to be alone. It’s about being teenagers together before life starts for real. It’s about, above all else, finding those weirdos who will be there for you and accept you for all your quirks and baggage. 

And that’s the Crocverse. I will shut up about it forever now. 

[cheri-translates]

[CN] 520 Texts - Kiro, Lucien, Victor

Trivia: 520 stands for 20 May, a day celebrated by the Chinese as another Valentine’s Day. This is because 我爱你 (“wo ai ni” - “I love you”) sounds like the numbers 5, 2, and 0 (“wu er ling”) when said aloud!

520 Moments: Gavin l Kiro l Lucien l Victor l Shaw

More texts: Gavin l Shaw

⭐️ KIRO ⭐️

[ You’re a Treasure ]

You’re the best teammate when going on adventures, and the biggest treasure I’ve found.

-

[ Version One ]

Kiro: Miss Chips, do you know about “treasure hunters”?

MC: I heard they’re a group of travellers who search for treasures?

Kiro: That’s right, Their mission in life is to search for the mysterious and tempting “treasure”.

Kiro: So is Miss Chips ready?

Kiro: The adventure with Kiro in search of treasure is about to begin!

MC: Huh? Don’t treasure hunters prefer working solo?

Kiro: There are times when they work together too!

Kiro: Also, I have a feeling that MC is my best partner.

Kiro: The treasure map, clues, and everything else have been prepared!

MC: Seems like this adventure plan is related to today...

Kiro: Miss Chips is so sharp! Since you’ve already found out, I’ll tell you a secret...

Kiro: Actually, what I want to convey is hidden in the treasure chest.

Kiro: If you want to know what it is, set out with me!

-

[ Version Two ]

Kiro: Miss Chips, do you know about “treasure hunters”?

MC: I don’t, but they sound really cool!

Kiro: Mmhmm, it’s enough to know that they’re really cool.

Kiro: So are you ready?

Kiro: The adventure with Kiro in search of treasure is about to begin!

MC: Right now? That’s too sudden!

Kiro: It might seem that way to MC, but I spent a really long time preparing for this day.

Kiro: Right now, the treasure map and clues are already in my hands.

Kiro: We just have to set out together, solve riddles, and explore!

MC: What if we don’t find the treasure?

Kiro: We’ll look around first. I believe Miss Chips can definitely do it!

Kiro: Also... your Kiro will always be by your side.

Kiro: When we’re together, we always have very good luck.

-

[ Version Three ]

Kiro: Miss Chips, do you know about “treasure hunters”?

MC: I do! This must be one of Kiro’s specially designed activities, right?

Kiro: Bingo!

Kiro: As expected of MC, the one who knows me best.

Kiro: You’re probably ready for the adventure with Kiro in search of treasure~

MC: H-hang on, where are we searching for the treasure?

Kiro: That isn’t something you have to worry about. I’ve already done my research.

Kiro: I’ve got a treasure map and clues.

Kiro: All MC has to do is set out with me to solve riddles, and explore!

MC: I seem to detect a pleasant surprise?

Kiro: As expected, you sensed it so soon!

Kiro: But that’s fine. I’m very confident in the contents of this surprise.

Kiro: I believe Miss Chips will reveal a gigantic smile after knowing the meaning of this treasure.

🦋 LUCIEN 🦋

[ Festival Habits ]

I seem to have gotten used to spending this day with you every year. I’m very happy that you’re in all of my beautiful memories.

-

[ Version One ]

Lucien: There’s a ticket to the aquarium on my office desk. Did you leave it there?

MC: That’s right. I finally decided on where to go today!

Lucien: I’ll have to congratulate the aquarium for being the winning selection then.

Lucien: What made you choose it as the final decision?

MC: There are many interesting creatures there! Belugas, jellyfishes, devil fishes... so many species!

Lucien: Mm, there are various special and beautiful creatures in the aquarium, and they draw one to study them.

Lucien: Based on your texts, I’m already able to imagine your look of anticipation.

MC: But there will probably be many people in the aquarium today...

Lucien: Mm. After all, today’s a very special day.

Lucien: So I’m afraid we’d have to set out earlier if we want to observe the sea creatures up close.

Lucien: I’ll pick you up after half an hour. How does that sound?

Lucien: The weather is pretty good today, and we might be able to see a beautiful sunset along the way.

-

[ Version Two ]

Lucien: There’s a ticket to the aquarium on my office desk. Did you leave it there?

MC: How did you guess so quickly?

Lucien: Because I recall you mentioning wanting to go to the aquarium a few days ago.

Lucien: Is there a special reason?

MC: I think the atmosphere of the aquarium suits you. Both give off a mysterious feeling, yet somehow draw others close to them.

Lucien: You used to say that frequently in the past.

Lucien: On the other hand, I think what suits you would be an unfettered place filled with imagination.

MC: I can hardly wait to visit the aquarium just by talking to you about it! 

Lucien: I feel the same way.

Lucien: Since it’s still early, why don’t we pick a restaurant first?

Lucien: On such a special day, we definitely need to wrap it up with an exquisite and unforgettable feast. What do you think?

-

[ Version Three ]

Lucien: There’s a ticket to the aquarium on my office desk. Did you leave it there?

MC: Yup. If I had left later, I could have given it to you personally.

Lucien: But there’s a sense of surprise this way.

Lucien: Could you tell me why you chose the aquarium?

MC: I feel that it has a really romantic atmosphere~

Lucien: I see.

Lucien: Watching the schools of fish and luminescent sea creatures does conjure a romantic feeling.

Lucien: Especially when with the person one likes.

MC: Also, I heard there’s a lucky draw event. If we’re lucky, we could get limited festival merchandise~

Lucien: Based on my memory, your luck has always been pretty good. I trust that it’d be the same today.

Lucien: I’ve also prepared a special gift for you.

Lucien: So no matter what, may today be a day of extraordinary surprises.

🌹 VICTOR 🌹

[ Travelling Plan ]

The destination of the trip isn’t important. As long as the person I’m travelling with is a certain dummy, it’s enough.

-

[ Version One ]

Victor: A reminder before you head out - this time, don’t bring along a pile of impractical things.

MC: I’ve brought along impractical things in the past?

Victor: I should ask when you haven’t.

Victor: We’re just viewing the scenery in the countryside, so bringing yourself will suffice.

MC: I heard that the billowing wheat fields in the countryside during summer are especially beautiful. So I brought my camera to take photographs.

Victor: Not bad. Looks like your newly bought camera is finally useful.

Victor: It’d no longer be used to simply take pictures of Pudding every day.

MC: Come to think of it, has it been a long time since you admired the countryside scenery?

Victor: Mm, it’s been a while.

Victor: The last time was at a holiday village with a certain someone.

Victor: During this festival, there won’t be many people in the countryside.

Victor: Looks like we’ll be able to relieve the idle and carefree time in the countryside that a certain someone has been anticipating.

-

[ Version Two ]

Victor: A reminder before you head out - this time, don’t bring a pile of impractical things.

MC: Aren’t we going on a self drive tour? There shouldn’t be a problem bringing more things~

Victor: There isn’t a problem.

Victor: But it can reduce unnecessary burdens.

MC: I’ve prepared some bentos and we can have a picnic in the countryside!

Victor: No wonder you’ve been occupying the kitchen recently.

Victor: That’s good. I can see if your culinary skills have improved as much as you claimed.

MC: We can finally free ourselves from our busy city life. Don’t you feel happy?

Victor: I do.

Victor: But that isn’t the reason.

Victor: Hasn’t a certain person been saying that we’ve been too busy and don’t have alone time?

Victor: Now, we can use this festival to make up for it.

-

[ Version Three ]

Victor: A reminder before you head out - this time, don’t bring a pile of impractical things.

MC: It’s too late. I’ve already packed my luggage!

Victor: ...you’re pretty fast.

Victor: What did you bring?

MC: I heard there’s a fruit garden in town, so I brought a basket to store fruits~

Victor: ...did you forget that a watermelon and a box of strawberries were put into the fridge yesterday?

Victor: If you can’t finish them, don’t count on me to help you.

MC: Actually, the reason why I picked the countryside was because there’d be fewer people there during the festival~

Victor: Mm, that’s a thorough consideration.

Victor: During the festival, there will be much fewer people as compared to the city.

Victor: The surroundings are exquisite, and the atmosphere isn’t bad.

Victor: Looks like a certain person’s wish to have a leisurely vacation can be fulfilled.

[tl-notes]

Kobayashi’s Maid Dragon S2 Episode 10 Notes

I’m extremely not an expert in birds, but I tried to look these up to see if they were a species native to New York (since they’re similar to the sparrows we usually see around Kobayashi’s place). Apparently there are few similar-looking species in New York? My totally uninformed guess is that they may be house sparrows.

The sun sets in Japan relatively early (probably around 6:30pm when this episode takes place), which would make it entirely plausible that if she just flew east (with a slight northward angle) she’d find herself over New York in the early morning while most of the rest of the country is still dark.

These bumpy grey pads at the pedestrian part of the intersection here are known as (among other things) tactile paving; they’re to assist people who can’t fully rely on eyesight to get around.

Interestingly (imo), they were actually invented in Japan in the 60s (by a Miyake Seiichi), where today they’re extremely ubiquitous. They even show up later this episode!

They’re often referred to in Japan as 点字ブロック, tenji (Braille) blocks, and they tend to come in two types: the “dot” design, which indicates a place to stop (or an angle change, or more generally “caution”), and the “line” design which indicates you can safely keep going. They’re generally colored yellow in Japan, ideally making them stand out more to help people with impaired vision find them, and are mandated by law in most places public transport can be found (among others).

Not really a translation note, but “deer cola” felt especially funny in the context of all the horse medicine stuff. 

I guess “[animal] [drink]” is a common branding device in-universe, given the crab beer Kobayashi’s always drinking.

Also not really a translation note, but the difference between how “hard” Kanna and Chloe are running to be at the same speed was a nice animation touch.

遊んだ遊んだ！ asonda asonda!

One feature of the Japanese language is a very heavy use of repetition. This includes “reduplication,” a linguistic term for creating words by repeating a root (e.g. a “boo-boo” in English or the dara-dara example below in Japanese), but also just like… saying the same word multiple times, as Chloe does here.

Typically this is done for emphasis or to help increase clarity: if you’ve worked in a Japanese office, you’ve likely heard someone in a phone conversation say desu desu in response to someone asking for confirmation. 

This acceptance of repetition sort of extends beyond the obvious uses like this as well: for example, personal pronouns are much less common; instead (if the subject isn’t dropped) you’ll often just use the person’s name again. You’ll notice similar trends with other types of words as well.

Not to mention the ubiquity of things like otsukare.

This often ends up being a challenge for translators, because reusing words in English (when it’s not for an obvious reason) tends to stick out rather unflatteringly, even if they aren’t that close together. 

(Like when I overuse “hence” in these notes.)

This “Christ” in the Japanese was “ったく” (short for 全く mattaku, but just used as a semi-generic exclamation). I mostly bring this up because it’s a good example of a word that doesn’t work out of its cultural context; e.g. it wouldn’t make any sense for a fantasy character to say “Christ,” but since this is an American speaker it works just fine (and helps distinguish that fact, even). 

I think I’ve mentioned this before, but English uses a lot of “explicit reference” words like this, that can break immersion if put in the mouths of characters who wouldn’t have exposure to said reference—which can be annoyingly limiting when trying to write dialogue sometimes.

As a bit of a culture shock for a lot of Americans I’ve met, most Japanese homes tend to have wall mounted air conditioning units, like this one, that are only for heating/cooling the one room they’re in. (Many also have a “Dry” setting that makes them act kind of like a dehumidifier as well.) It’s common to not have them in every room, like bedrooms, however.

This is in contrast to the central air conditioning system used by a majority of homes in the US (though type/use of AC in the US varies a lot by region; less common in the north for example)—and places like the UK where apparently residential AC units of any kind are quite rare.

You may have noticed that the doors between rooms always seem closed in Kobayashi’s apartment. That’s not just to make the backgrounds simpler, it’s also a good habit to keep if you’re going to be running the AC!

“Kobayashi, are you お休み today?” 

“Yeah, お休み.”

お休み o-yasumi, is a noun form of the 休む yasumu, to rest. The word has a variety of applications, as we see here. A day off work/school, i.e. a rest day? お休み. Want to say “good night” to someone before bed? Also お休み.

In this case, it’s not even necessarily clear it’s being said as a pun; as mentioned earlier, repetition is a common feature of the language, so despite the yawn there wouldn’t really be any reason for Kanna to think Kobayashi was about to go to nap or anything.

“Laze about” here is だらだら dara-dara, another phenomime (擬態語 gitaigo in Japanese)—one of those words that mimics the “sound” of an idea/concept/state, which don’t actually make a sound per se.

These phrases aren’t necessarily childish or anything (overuse of them can be, but you can find them even in news articles and political speeches for example). They are, however, used frequently by children, and by adults talking to children, as they’re very “easy” words: they’re expressive, they capture useful daily-life concepts, and they usually roll off the tongue. You’ll notice, for example, that Kanna uses them a lot.

Kanna has a very interesting way of talking actually, which I’ll touch on a bit more later.

Kobayashi’s “bean jam” here is あんみつ anmitsu, a traditional Japanese dessert (technically a spinoff of mitsumame). It typically is a mix of red beans (and/or red peas), agar (an algae-based gelatin equivalent), some fruit, some variety of rice flour product (shiratama in this case, similar to mochi), and a syrup (often black sugar based).

You can find it year-round, but it has a strong summer association and is even used as a summer season word. (It’s typically chilled and you can often get it with ice cream as an ingredient.)

It’s also sometimes paired with a green-tea flavored something as well (e.g. ice cream, agar, or syrup). The trinity of green tea, red beans (aka azuki), and shiratama makes what I like to think of as the “Japanese S’mores Flavor (for Adults)”. No I will not elaborate on this.

I will though point out the shaved ice flavor Kobayashi ordered later in the episode:

え？今スイカ様子あった？

A word of note here for language learners is 様子 yousu, which has a lot of definitions, but in cases like this where it’s attached to a noun or phrase means roughly “the appearance of __” or “an indication of ___” etc. In actual use, it typically means something that makes you think of whatever ___ is—or the lack of something that would make you think ___.

For example here, it’s like “Watermelon? Where’d that come from?” (since the TV was talking about a different dessert-y food entirely). 

Or an unrelated example: “I think that guy is hiding something” → ��Really? I haven’t seen any yousu of that.” In other words, it can be a lot like “sign,” as in “I’ve seen no sign of ___.”

These color-bordered envelopes (originally colored based on the flag of the country of origin) used to be the standard for air mail, domestic or international, though they haven’t been required for several decades.

That said, they’re still popular for that “ooh, international mail!” feel (at least in Japan) and you can buy them at most places that sell stuff like envelopes. As here, they’re often used in media to immediately convey that a letter came from outside Japan.

Kanna (and Kobayashi) says エアメール, lit. “air mail” in English, which is used colloquially for international mail specifically, rather than “mail sent by plane.”

They’re having what’s called 冷やしそうめん hiyashi soumen, chilled/cold soumen for lunch here. (Soumen being a thin wheat noodle; udon but thinner.) As Kanna says, it’s very easy to make!

Basically you just boil it, wash it in cold water, add ice, get some sort of sauce to dip it in, and you’re done! It’s a popular quick meal in summer, and much easier than the more involved nagashi soumen setups you may have seen elsewhere, where they slide the noodles down a chute for you to try to grab and eat. (It’s basically the same meal aside from that though.)

(You can of course add more to it, but as we see here, you don’t really have to.)

The type of tea here, for the curious, is 麦茶 mugicha, barley tea. Mugi is the general name for cereals/grains including wheat (komugi), barley (oomugi), rye (kuromugi or rye mugi), and oats (enbaku or oat mugi). It’s incredibly common in Japan (and much of East Asia), where it's the household summer drink.

It has no caffeine like many other teas, and has a bunch of various nutritional benefits, so it’s considered a good way to stay hydrated as you’re sweating buckets in the muggy Japanese summer weather.

帽子した？  boushi shita? した！ shita!

I thought this was a cute way of phrasing this question/answer, and a good example of the “parent and their young child” way these two talk.

The suru (past tense shita) verb used here is the ultimate in “generic verb,” and it basically doesn’t get any simpler grammar-wise to phrase something as “noun+suru” like Kobayashi does here (even the particles are dropped). 

Kanna, for her part, doesn’t respond with a “yes” or etc, but instead just repeats back the verb itself in confirmation.

Just to note another one of those words like dara-dara: bura-bura, used for things like wandering around, doing something (or nothing) casually/aimlessly, or (with one bura) for something dangling/swinging in a more literal sense, like a spider, slack yo-yo, or wind chime.

These booklets are a common homework assignment for practicing kanji; you can see along the left side there it shows the stroke order, with the first block giving an example to trace over & showing where to start each stroke.

Each character is made up of radicals (e.g. “hot” above: 日 and 耂), which each have a standard way to write them. There’s 214 such radicals (though many are pretty niche; only about ~50 of them are needed to make most characters), and once you get a hang of them it makes learning new characters much easier (not too different from learning word spellings in English imo).

Kanna is repeating out loud the reading for the “hot” character as she writes it.

In addition to the above workbooks (which usually involve both kanji and math problems at Kanna’s grade), elementary school summer homework in Japan typically involves doing an illustrated diary (not a daily one necessarily) and some sort of research project about a subject of your choice. (Think kind of like a small science fair project).

The “research” project part is pretty expansive, and you can typically even do something more arts & craftsy for it.

Manhole covers in a lot of Japanese municipalities feature art representative of the area. For example, the city of Chofu, where the author of GeGeGe no Kitaro lived most of his life, has several with art of that series.

(Photo from https://www.gotokyo.org/jp/spot/1734/index.html)

I mentioned earlier that Kanna has an interesting way of speaking. Probably a better way to put it is that she has a pretty convincingly childish way of speaking (despite the monotone). That is, she uses simple grammar and “easy” words most of the time, but then throws out random big words and fancy idioms from time to time that make you go “...where did you learn that?”

In this case, the phrase she uses is 巷で人気 chimata de ninki. Chimata originally means like a fork (in the road), and since those are often places with lots of people passing through, it expanded to mean “the undefined place where people talk about ~stuff~.” So it’s used for “many people are saying~” or “word on the street is~” types of situations (or “talk of the town,” as here).  

It’s kind of an “adult” word though; for example the character for it isn’t included in the jouyou kanji (the 2000+ that are taught in elementary through high school). Hence Kobayashi’s reaction here.

The word she uses for “protected” here is 死守 shishu. The word is the combination of the characters for “death” and “protect,” ~meaning to protect something even at risk to one’s life (to the death, as it were).

It's a word that you learn in third grade in the Japanese education system—the same grade Kanna is in!

Both of these types of signs are common sights in residential areas like this: depending on where you live, it can feel like there’s always some sort of construction project going on, and Japan’s many family/individually-owned businesses like this tend to be closed on various extra days during the summer (and certain other times) to allow for time off.  

In this case, them being closed August 12th~16th implies they’re taking off for Obon (and probably leaving town to visit family).

The word Kobayashi uses here is 風物詩 fuubutsu-shi. Fuubutsu refers to something that makes up part of the “scenery” of a place or season, in a pretty broad sense. This shi typically means “poem.”

So fuubutsu-shi is originally a type of poem celebrating a season or a scene of natural beauty, that sort of thing. From that, it’s also now (more popularly) used to describe things that are representative of a season; the kind of stuff you say “it’s not winter until…” about, or “you know it’s summer when…” (It can also be used for places + seasons, like the ice sculptures of Hokkaido winters, or even summer Comiket in Tokyo.)

They’re very similar to the season words I’ve mentioned previously, though they’re far less strict about what counts as one. Here, Kobayashi’s could be referring to the whole package experience of “having to take cover and wait out a sudden heavy rain, despite it being mostly clear skies a few minutes ago,” which you could call fuubutsu-shi (summed up probably as like 夏の雨宿り etc.)

In contrast the relevant season word here would probably be yuudachi (or niwaka-ame), a word referring to the short, sudden bouts of rain that tend to fall (from cumulonimbus clouds, the makings of which are noticeable in the backgrounds before this) on summer evenings.

Feels like in season one she woulda eaten it. Three cheers for character growth!

The parentheticals there are just the “English” in hiragana/katakana.

Kobayashi’s comment (nihongo de ok, roughly “you can just use Japanese”) is an internet-born term people originally would use to reply to someone who said something that didn’t make any sense, had terrible grammar, or was so full of katakana loanwords it was hard to read etc.

Kanna says this line in English, and while I have no proof at all, my guess is that the specific choice of “wicked” was taken from the translation of “maji yabakune?” used in season one.

[drazzilder]

A Hellish Encounter

By Drazzilder

Chapter 5: The Cold

It takes a few hours for Endeavor to get you released from the hospital into his custody. When you two finally make it outside, the sun is already starting to set and the sky is turning a hazy red. A black car pulls up and a gentleman comes out and opens the rear door.

“Right this way Mr. Endeavor.”

“Thank you, Lenard”

You enter the car nervously and sit down on the left side. He follows suit and you both settle down as the car begins moving. “Where will you be taking me?” You ask, a little fear in your voice as you still question if Endeavor is really on your side.

“You will be coming with me to my hero agency. We have a few beds there that you can use until you find yourself a place to live.”

“Don’t I need money to live somewhere. I was on the streets because no one would hire me or my friends.” You say with while clenching your pants.

“I will be paying you as my apprentice. You said ‘friends’. Was there more than just you and Adam?”

“There was 4 of us total in the group: Adam, Jason, Greg, and I all managed to escape the facility. We were all at the stadium: Jason made the large crystals and Greg used is fire ability to fuse them together.”

“Do you mind me asking where they are now?”

“I don’t know. That’s the plan we came up with. If things got to hot, I was to attract the FBI or whoever was after us so the others could escape. We separated about 2 years ago. I have been teleporting across the earth keeping them close but far enough so I could escape quickly. I ended up in Japan about 6 months ago but I think the people looking for me didn’t follow me here. I really miss my friends and I hope they are ok.” You say this as you begin to shake a little.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s ok, they are strong and I know they will survive. So, what will I be doing as your apprentice?” You ask trying to change the subject.

“You will be training to become a hero. Combat training, crisis management, all the rules and regulations: everything needed to become a hero. First you will be my sidekick then you will work on being a hero by yourself.”

“Why?” You look towards your feet.

“What do you mean why?”

“Why help me? I’m a murderer, a monster, I have a demon living inside of me, how can I be a hero?”

“You have done more heroic actions then some full-time heroes. The stadium, the crossing, I know there are more you haven’t mentioned.” He places his left hand on your shoulder. “Let me help you become what I know you want to be: a hero.”

“What makes you think I want to be a hero?”

“Well, Zaheer, I know you could have taken over (Y/N)’s body a long time ago if you really wanted to be evil.”

“Hurting people does not come naturally for me. I do rather like (Y/N) and would rather help people.”

“Well that’s good to hear. Ah. It looks like we are here.”

As you look outside of the car, you see a tall building that must be the hero agency Endeavor was talking about. You both set out of the car and walk towards the building but you stop about 6 feet from the door. Endeavor looks back to see you looking at the ground, holding your right arm with your left hand.

“I….I….I don’t know if I can go in there.”

“What’s wrong? It’s just a building? It’s not going to hurt... wait. Does this remind you of the facility?”

All you can do is nod in agreement, fear flowing through your whole body at this point.

“Here.” The man sighs. “Take my hand and we can walk in together.” He reaches his hand towards you and you are almost shocked back to normal as you see his hand in your field of view. You take his hand in your left and you get that feeling again. The feeling you first felt when he picked you up at the crossing. Warmth. Everything during your years at the facility was so cold. Cold tables, cold probes, cold floors, cold food: everything was cold. But when he grabs your hand, you feel an intense warm go through your body. “It must be his quirk” you thought but you must admit, it feels so nice. This warmth manages to thaw your frozen state and you begin walking into the building. Luckily the elevator to the top floor is glass because it if was a metal box, you would have rather died than go in there.

“Welcome to the Endeavor Agency.” Endeavor turns to you with a faint smile on his face as you walk into the large room that you assume is his office.

“It’s really nice, it feels so warm in here.” You say as you sit on the couch, looking at the fireplace, exhausted from being so tense in the hospital. Your stomach begins to growl.

“Are you hungry (Y/N)? Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

“I’m used to being hungry, but I will admit the food at the hospital was better than anything I have eaten before. At least what I can remember.”

“You must be joking? The food at the hospital is ok at best. Why don’t I ask Sanji to get us some real food? Do you have any favorite foods?”

You shrug “I don’t know what I like, I’m just used to eating what is given to me or what I can find or kill.”

“You probably can’t make my favorite.”

“Why don’t I see if we can get you what I like?”

“I’ll eat anything so I’ll try it.”

Endeavor picks up the phone: “Sanji, please order us two of my favorites for here. Thank you.”

You patiently sit on the couch, almost falling asleep to the sounds of papers and pens moving across Endeavor’s desk. It is probably about 30 minutes or so until you hear the phone ring on his desk. “Your food is here Sir; would you like me to bring it in now?”

“Yes, that is fine.”

Sanji walks in with a tray with 2 meals on it and places it on the edge of his desk. “Thank you Sanji, that will be everything.”

“Yes, Sir” she leaves just as quickly and quietly as she entered.

“Come (Y/N), pick whichever meal you want.”

“What is it?”

“It’s kuzumochi. It’s made from wheat, it’s similar to jelly. Go ahead and take one, but don’t you dare make a mess on the carpet.” Endeavor’s eyes narrow at the last statement

“Ok.” You say as you begin to take one of the plates and a napkin. You head over to a seat at place the plate on your lap. The first thing you do is pick up one of the jelly pieces and begin to look at it, smell it, squeeze it. You notice Endeavor is looking at you so you quickly put the first piece in your mouth trying not to be rude. That’s when you begin to feel it, something you hate more than anything in the world: cold. The food is cold, it sends a pain strait to your head. You clench over your right eye and begin to make some pained grunts. Memories of the cold testing facility you spend so long in, the room, the tables you laid on for hours as they cut you open while you were awake. The screams of pain you made while the doctors continued to poke and prod at your insides. It’s becoming too much as your vision starts going black.

“What’s wrong? Are you allergic?” Endeavor has gotten up at this point and is quickly coming towards you to bring you some water. The only thing you manage to say between the pained memories flooding your brain is “too cold”. That’s when Endeavor realizes water isn’t what you need and goes back to the food tray and takes one of the cups of tea and hands it you you.

“Drink this…”

You take a sip and reality begins to finally go back to normal as the memories go melt away and the pain recedes. After a few sips you manage to catch your breath and look at Endeavor.

“I’m sorry. It was just too cold for me I guess.” You don’t dare want to tell him that it wasn’t a physical but mental pain that the cold was causing but you just wanted to change the subject.

“Continue drinking the tea, I will warm up your food.” He takes the plate and he uses his quirk to make his hand hot enough that the heat passes through the plate and gently warms the kuzumochi. He hands the plate back to you.

“Here, I made them a little warm for you. Hopefully this is better.” He looks at you almost apologetic but he hands you the plate and heads back to his desk before you could look at his face much longer. The second bite was much better. It wasn’t warm as much as it was body temperature. It didn’t cause a reaction this time so you continued eating, finally being able to enjoy the dish.

“Thank you Endeavor, it is really good. I never had anything like it.”

“Good. Once you are done, I will show you to where you will sleep and we can get your own clothing and toiletries.”

“That’s fine. It will be nice just to sleep on a bed after so long.” You smile a little as you rub the back of your neck. After you two finish your meals, you get a quick tour of the agency as Endeavor leads you to where you will sleep for the night. As he opens the door, you find yourself looking into a blank room with few sets of bunk beds and a table in the center. Your eyes widen. You begin to breath a little harder. At this point but he picks up on it and quickly closes the door.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think. That must look a lot like your….”

“It’s ok.” You look down kinda ashamed that your emotions are getting the better of you.

“No, it’s not, I need to find you a place where you can sleep without stress. We don’t want you and Zaheer acting up again.”

“Hey, I can behave! But I have to agree that sleeping here would not be best for the both of us. Do you have another place in mind?”

“It Is getting late. I have an idea but I’m not sure how you will react.”

“What is it?”

“You can sleep in the guest room at my house. But you need to mind your space.”

“Really! You won’t know even know I am there!” You couldn’t hide your excitement. Being able to leave such an industrial looking place. Even though Endeavor has been the entire time, it’s still hard being in there. Maybe you can get over your past eventually see but not now.

“Don’t get too excited, you will be in my home so you will need to follow my rules.”

“I can do that.” You yawn. “I’m getting tired, can we go now?”

Endeavor nods as you two leave his agency. It’s just a short car ride to his home. It’s a traditional Japanese style of home. You two enter and are greeted by Hina.

H: “Good evening Mr. Todoroki, and who is your guest?”

E: “Hina, this is (Y/N), he will be staying with us a few days until he can find his own place.”

(Y/N): “Thank you, I hope not to be a bother” you bow trying to be polite.

H: “Isn’t he the man who saved everyone at Shibuya crossing?”

E: “Yes, he is.”

H: “Is that such a good idea?”

E: “Don’t question my decision, he is staying here.”

H: “Fine, but I’m not taking care of him, at least not without a raise.”

Endeavor narrows his eyes as he looks down at Hina. It’s only because of her personally, and being able to stand up to him, that she has lasted as long as she has. Only when you speak up does it break his glare.

(Y/N): “Endeavor, I don’t mean to bother but could you lead me to the room I will be staying in.”

E: “Yes, you must be very tired.”

You begin following him, “It’s nice meeting you, Ms. Hina.”

Endeavor leads you down a hallway into a room. The bed is on the tatami floor and a bathroom is through a door in the back of the room. He flicks the lights on and motions you to enter. You set down the few things you were given down on a short table near the bed and sit down on the bed. You look back at Endeavor with a faint smile. He just nods and says “Good night.” And closes the door. You quickly fall asleep. It’s so comforting to sleep in a bed you can call your own, even if is only for a few days at this bed. You finally are able to dream that night, the first time in years.

Next Chapter

[ghostbustershq]

Ghostbusters: Afterlife - Trailer 2 Full Breakdown

This is it, this is definitely it!

A meaty and goosebump-evoking trailer just dropped today for Ghostbusters: Afterlife.

Much like the first trailer, the main focus of this is the family - forced to move to Oklahoma after falling on tough times. Janine, Terror Dogs, Mini Pufts, and Ghostbusting in motion as Jason Reitman has referred to it are all here. There’s a whole lot here to unpack, plus a whole lot that I’m sure we still haven’t seen. In fact, I would argue that we now have a pretty complete picture of what’s in store come November and are being shown just enough to tide us over until the fall.

This was a solid trailer. It hit all of the right notes. It invoked goosebumps on several occasions. And oh boy, does it demonstrate that Jason Reitman wasn’t kidding when he told us hardcore nerds that if we loved easter eggs, we were in for a treat.

Let’s break it down, shall we?

A GREAT MOM

The trailer begins with a very quiet and intimate bit of dialogue between Paul Rudd’s Mr. Grooberson and Carrie Coon’s Callie.

The two sit at a table, and while the trailer frames it to appear to be Spinners, a quick glimpse at the wall next to the two in a later shot shows they’re actually in a Chinese restaurant. In fact, I love that Grooberson has what looks to be one of the deluxe Benihana cocktails in a ceramic glass in front of him. Grooberson tells Callie that she’s a great mom, but she’s not so sure. Callie feels like she’s been a great mother to her oldest, Trevor (Finn Wolfhard). But feels like her introverted daughter Phoebe (McKenna Grace) keeps her at a distance. There’s a sense that Callie and Phoebe can’t find much common ground, and for this her mother is struggling.

I really love how the trailer gently brings us into the world, helps set the stage, and gives us several glimpses of some of the incredible cinematography in store from Eric Steelberg.

AN AWKWARD, NERDY KID

Grooberson’s dialogue reassures Callie that what Phoebe is going through is normal. He calls her an “awkward, nerdy kid” to imagery of her at school being teased. Ghostbusters: The Video Game fans concerned about if the story and events from the game will somehow be referenced or acknowledged in some way will probably quickly notice the Doritos product placement. Hours of gameplay has trained them well.

Anyway, not only is Phoebe failing to connect with her mother on a deeper level, but it appears that she’s an outsider at school as well. It makes the friendship we know she’s to have with Podcast (Logan Kim) that much sweeter. And you feel for her right out of the gate here, hoping that she’ll find that friend as soon as possible.

Callie and Grooberson’s conversation comes to a conclusion with Phoebe’s mother just wishing, “she’d get into some trouble.” As her mother laments about her daughter needing to be bold and a little more adventurous, we see a continuation of the scene from the first trailer in which Phoebe solves a puzzle built into the floor of the farmhouse in order to find a hidden ghost trap. Perhaps Ghostbusting is exactly the trouble the young and brainy kid needs?

As we, the audience, see the familiar ghost trap, there’s quite literally a drum roll added to the music scoring of the trailer. Perhaps Ghostbusting is exactly the trouble we need too.

JANINE, YOU HAVEN’T CHANGED

The trailer continues with the Trevor dialogue we heard in the first trailer as he explains to Lucky (Celeste O’Connor) that they’re broke and the only thing they have is a “creepy old farmhouse” left to them by their grandfather. But that is the lead in to our first major surprise of the trailer: a glimpse of Annie Potts’ return as Janine Melnitz!

Janine jokes to Callie that her father wasn’t much of a homemaker. “He could hardly keep the power on,” Janine says with a chuckle. If there was any question of the family lineage, this trailer solidifies that Callie and her family are Spengler through-and-through.

It should be noted at this point that the quiet music that accompanied the beginning of the trailer suddenly has these eerie choral notes added to it. Adding a little bit of that paranormal/otherworldly feeling but keeping the trailer light and playful. I’m not sure if this is Rob Simonsen’s score, but if I had to guess given the way the music builds and shifts, this is an original music bed for the trailer only.

It’s also interesting to see how we’ll be able to revisit the past in the film by use of footage from the original (as seen in the YouTube videos playing on various computers) but also the use of one of my favorite set photography moments framed and displayed in the farmhouse presented as a personal photograph. I know, given how some people reacted to seeing a headshot of Sean Connery used in an Indiana Jones film, these types of touches can take people out of a film. But I think the trailer gives us a great idea of how these moments will be integrated and I love it.

The trailer takes a hard turn with a great back and forth between Callie and Janine. Callie tells Janine that it sounds like her father has left her nothing. Janine playfully retorts, “Well, I wouldn’t say nothing.” This line is masterfully juxtaposed with Trevor opening the barn doors to find the Ectomobile housed under a tarp. The music comes to a crescendo as Trevor lifts the tarp and reveals the Ghostbusters Mooglie logo.

Let’s call this goosebumps moment number one.

THE ONLY ONE WITH AN ENGINE

It’s this part of the trailer where it does something that’s a rarity these days, and that I appreciate so much: the music takes a breath and completely drops off to give us a small vignette of a scene from the film. Phoebe enters the barn to find Trevor working on the Ecto. She ribs him that, of all the broken down cars on the farm, he’s chosen “the station wagon.” Trevor responds that his vehicle of choice was the only one with an engine.

The music and percussion come back in full force to score Trevor on a joy ride through the wheat fields of the farm. He seems to be having a good time.

So am I… this was definitely goosebumps moment number two.

A STORM COMING

Act Two of the trailer starts with a dark and ominous storm coming into Sumerville. There’s trouble in small town Oklahoma. Grooberson reiterates his line about a town with no faultlines shaking on a daily basis to Trevor and Phoebe. Only this time, he receives a response: “Maybe it’s the apocalypse.” Phoebe delivers the line to Grooberson with such amazing deadpan earnestness that you can tell she and grandpa might have a whole lot in common. Including their sense of humor.

The line gives us a good chuckle to break the tension but also sets the stage for what’s to come in the trailer: exactly what Phoebe has predicted.

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

As Phoebe tells us that “Egon came here for a reason,” an archival piece of footage and dialogue from the first film plays on her laptop: the commercial playing on Dana Barrett’s television at 55 CPW. As the original Ghostbusters give you their sales pitch, this is where the trailer really kicks into modern trailer overdrive.

Flashes of imagery including the PKE meter, Mini Puft mayhem at Wal-Mart, and more quickly breathe in and out. In fact, if this trailer is our Christmas present in July, this is where we’re unwrapping and unpacking what’s inside the box.

But we also get glimpses of a creepy underground temple with some pretty intense architecture and even creepier statue work. Terror dog/human hybrid statues flanking what looks to be a pharaoh with wings. And gaunt peasants all reaching out to it all. Did Sumerians have pharaohs? Or is this something else? Certainly seems like if there were Gozer worshippers out there, this might be a stone tribute to them.

The kids discover the terrifying temple and Trevor gives us an “oh my god” to punctuate as they see what we see.

NICE DOGGY, CUTE LITTLE POOCH

Right about this part of the trailer is where my brain explodes and I’m not sure where to start. Imagery is rapid fire as the shit hits the fan.

Phoebe looks into a cauldron in the temple (where there’s numbers behind her that we’ll have to analyze further at some point). And the cork pops on the bottle. As she does so, there’s a terrifying growl in the background foreshadowing some familiar imagery we’re about to see.

But before we get to that, two incredible things are seen as well: familiar purple PKE trails that look a whole lot like those that explode from the firehouse and converge at Spook Central. And, as Grooberson’s line about New York City looking like “The Walking Dead” is repurposed to sound like he’s talking about Sumerville, there’s an incredible physical creature design sitting at a lunch counter. A half-decomposed cabbie maybe? Wearing a 1970’s collar and neckerchief. To my eye, I’d be willing to bet that’s the work of Arjen Tuiten and his team of creature designers. And it’d make Steve Johnson proud.

Plus it’s such a funny image of this corpse sitting at a lunch counter, and the waiter is pour him coffee like it ain’t no thing. I love it.

Back to man’s worst friend: the terror dogs make several appearances in the trailer. First as a cool half-manifested entity above Groobersen and again chasing the poor guy out of a Wal-Mart. Is Groobersen haunted by these things like Louis Tully? Or is something else going on here?

IN A SPIRITUAL SENSE, OF COURSE

If there was a moment that I expected Ray Parker Jr.’s iconic theme song to kick into full gear, this would have been it. The icing on the cake of the trailer, after we see the dead rising from the grave and all hell breaking loose, is Trevor, Phoebe and Podcast all in the Ecto chasing after what we now know is Muncher. The editorial of this is insanely cool. And we get to see the Remote Trap Vehicle (RTV) deployed from the Ecto and how it’s used in the pursuit of Muncher. We’ve seen the gunner seat, but the beats that this moment in the trailer hit, well…

Goosebumps moment number three.

VENKMAN, WE’RE NOT HOME

After all the debate among friends if there would be a “Chewie, We’re Home” moment in this trailer - where we’d see one of the original Ghostbusters live and in the flesh, we got the perfect tease. As Grooberson, Phoebe and Podcast watch the conclusion of the original 1984 ad, the trailer closes with a phone ringing inside a very familiar looking Occult Book shop.

Tattooed arms (I’ve tried with everything I can to see what the tattoo says) pick up the phone and the familiar voice of Dr. Ray Stantz (Dan Aykroyd) curtly tells whomever is on the other end of that phone that, “We’re closed.” A perfect little tease if you ask me. Let’s save seeing Peter, Ray and Winston on-screen to the main event.

[exit-path]

Alright! Let’s get this done!

It’s less than 40 days until the one-year anniversary of my “Hi! I made something cool!” pinned post!

I’ve wanted do something like that again. I want to make another isometric render of something in Minecraft, all in a 2D image editing software, by hand.

But there’s a problem. I don’t know what to make.

I have a bunch of ideas on things I could make! But I don’t know which one to choose! And I don’t want to choose randomly, because the original isometric “render” actually took me one whole week to make. That’s seven consecutive days.

So that’s where you come in.

It’s hard and high-stakes to make one of these, so I don’t wanna mess up! I wanna know for sure what I should make.

If you could please, look through the list and see me which one(s) you’d like me to make. Then, tell me what your thoughts are in a reply or reblog. I’ll read through them, and in about 36 hours after I post this I’ll make my final decision on what I’ll render!

(You don’t need to interact with this post if you don’t want to. You can scroll past it if that’s the case.)

Remember, in the end, the result should be something of this caliber. This is what I made back then. And this is the level of quality I’m striving for again.

(I won’t post my render on the one-year anniversary, mind you. I’ll post it the day that I finish it, whenever that may be. I just mentioned the one-year anniversary so we’re all on the same page here.)

1) The other Skyblock islands

This is pretty self-explanatory. I rendered the main Skyblock island, right? Well why don’t I just render the other two and call it a day? I’m finishing the job. This is like the obligatory sequel for a hit movie.

One’s a sand island you reach once you bridge over from the main island in normal Skyblock. The other’s made of glowstone and you reach it when you build a nether portal and travel through the nether to link up with the portal on the other side.

Now, from a “making the render” standpoint, the problem with this is that it probably won’t be fun to make as the first one. Like, the other original Skyblock island at least had interesting shapes to work with, it had depth, and it posed a fun challenge. These other islands are just 3x3x3 cubes made of the same block.

Plus, people might not care to see the new render. People always like the sequel less than the original movie. And I’m thinking that might be true for something as esoteric as a post about a Minecraft render made with 2D image editing software.

2) My Survival House

You might be confused seeing this on the list. Like, everyone’s seen or played Skyblock so that makes sense, but this? This is my singleplayer survival house. Very few have seen it; nobody but me has ever been to it. Let me explain.

I played on this world from September to October 2020. In that time, I built a starter base, a mine, and a cow barn/wheat farm. This is the starter base. It doesn’t look like much, but that’s only because we’re on the surface. Let’s go into spectator made and bring the camera under.

Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about!

Yes, the majority of my “starter base” is underground! (The image is slightly edited to highlight where it is.) If I were to render it, I would show the bit that’s at the top, connected to everything underground.

There’s a lot in this base! Immediately down the ladder from the house at the surface, there’s a room full of chests and that contains a jukebox where I can play music discs.

Then on the floor below that there’s my furnace room, my portal room, my map room, and my spruce tree farm. Down another floor you can find a room where I intended to grow cactus for a brief period of time.

I’ve spent a lot of time in this base. However, I’ve never seen it in full, in isometric view. And I sure would like to. Because perspective in 3D constantly hides different parts of my base when I view it from different angles. Isometry is an idealized reality.

If I were to render this, you’re agreeing that I’m doing this for myself. I love this world, and I’ve spent many days in the past excited to come back to it. This is a bit of sentimentality, a tribute to myself.

3) My 1.0.0 Survival Base

Now, you might be starting to recognize a pattern here. (Image slightly edited to highlight where the survival base is.) And no, it’s not that I really want to isometrically render my survival worlds for some reason.

Yes, I apparently like building my survival bases underground, I know, shut up >:P

I played on this world from March to September 2019: the longest I played on a survival world so far. Virtually only one other person knows about this world.

The entire time I played on it, it was in Java Edition 1.0.0: the earliest and first full release of Minecraft. I accessed the version by using the dropdown menu on the Minecraft launcher.

As a result of being in 1.0.0, the entire survival experience was changed, and that posed a lot of unique challenges. For example, how do you mine out large regions of land if beacons haven’t been created yet? How do you enchant tools if anvils aren’t in the game yet?

Playing on this 1.0.0 world has acted as my greatest insight into “old Minecraft” so far.

If I were to render this base, I would only render the underground portion (which I hollowed out of a naturally-generated cave, by the way). Why would I do that, if there’s probably also a house on the surface that I could render?

Because this is what that house looks like.

Yeah, this house does look incredible! I would know, I’m the one who made it all in 1.0.0. But no chance am I rendering all that.

Anyways, I want to render this world because despite all the time I’ve played on this world, I’ve never actually even seen my base as a spectator much like I’ve shown above. (Minecraft added cheats in 1.3.1. Spectator mode didn’t exist until 1.8.)

Plus, this faces the same perspective problems I mentioned for #2. So mainly, if I were to render this isometrically, I would be helping myself by letting me view my world in a lens I was never able to before.

4) A House in the Sky

This is a bit of an inside joke on my blog.

Basically, ever since August, I’ve been playing games of UHC on Minecraft minigame servers like Hypixel and Mineplex with the sole purpose of defying the point of the game and just building a house in the sky. Like a whole-ass village house. Plop. Right there.

This is the house I would build in those games. And this is what I would like to render now.

If you know me personally, then you already know what the front of the house looks like. (I’ve shown it on my blog countless times.) So that’s why in this preview, I’ve made the front of the house see-through so you can see the interior.

This is an effect I want to emulate in my render (if I ever make one). I make multiple image edits, and in one of them, both the exterior and the interior of the house are visible.

If I render this, it’s just a pointless joke. Not much else besides that 🙂

5) Something Else?

This is where I leave an open-ended answer.

Did you think of something that’s not on this list? Do you have something in mind that you’re passionate about personally, and that you’d like me to render? Do you think a couple or all of the ideas here are good, and you want me to render those couple or all of them?

Then remember to tell me in a reply or reblog!

Keep in mind when leaving your opinion that making a single render takes a lot of time and effort. Think of it this way: the original Skyblock render took one week to make.

Rendering something with half as many blocks would take four days. Rendering something with twice as many would take two weeks. Making multiple renders would take multiple weeks. So don’t forget the human aspect in all this.

Well, that’s the end of this post!

Tagging @ice-block, @gay-slime, @mojang-official, @birch-forest, and @light-blue-glazed-terracotta because they saw my original post and I’d like to hear their opinions, given that they’re big blogs in mineblr.

@emarezi and @unyanizedcatboys, I’d like to hear you weigh in on this as well.

See you in 36 hours, I guess!

[iwillbeinmynest]

Redcove Harvest - Bucky x Reader(f)   Chapter 2

Author’s Notes: Thank you all for the kind and enthusiastic response to the first chapter. Here’s chapter two for ya’ll. I hope you like it. I have a feeling this series with hit at least ten chapters but that means high word counts so hopefully that isn’t an issue.

AU: Farmhand!AU and SingleMom!Reader

Word Count: 

Notes/Warnings: (Notes are for the whole series) FLUFF, mentions of a past toxic relationship, a wild storm at the end, drama and a break-up, mentions of drinking, kids being adorable and ridiculous, kissing, romance and a tiny bit of angst if you look hard but nothing more than that of a Hallmark movie.

Masterlist     Series Masterlist

Bucky dropped Steve off at the store and then made his way to the address on the napkin. He turned off the highway onto a dirt road. He drove for about three miles or so down the tree lined drive. He took his final turn into an open but very busted gate. The fencing that lined the property was made of wood and was rotting in a few places. He figured that was probably on the list of things he might be doing.

He kept driving and saw that both of the fields on either side of him were overgrown. The fences were covered with saplings, vines and weeds. The fields beyond them were waist high with wheat colored grass and broom straw. He added that to his mental list. This dirt road ran for just over a mile and then he came into view of the house. It was a white two story with a wrap around porch. There was a large slab of old concrete that was being used to park cars. It held an orange tractor-mower, a Burgundy Ford and three electric kids cars. Two were pink and one looked like a little John Deer tractor.

Okay, so kids, that’s fun.

Bucky parked where he wouldn’t be in the way and got out of his truck. Two little girls, no older than ten, ran out of the front door laughing, each carrying their own basket. They didn’t even see Bucky and ran in the opposite direction, disappearing behind the house.

Bucky looked around the yard and saw a third field directly across from the front door. It was about forty yards from the porch but it was lush with greens and scattered bright colors. The field, that was also lined with a worn down fence, was a massive garden.

He could only pick out a few types of plants, though; tomatoes, cabbage, some kind of hanging gourd and (at his best guess) carrots.

A woman stood up from behind a thick patch of greens. Her hair was braided back and she had gardening gloves on. She was wearing a yellow tee-shirt, jeans and black rubber boots. She picked up a basket and started walking towards Bucky.

He slid his hands into his pockets and nodded his head her way. She waved briefly and closed the gate behind her.

Bucky could see her basket was full of freshly harvested radishes.

She reached a hand out, “Hi, I’m Y/N.”

Bucky shook it with another nod. “Bucky. Well, James. James Barnes but call me Bucky.” Bucky cursed in his head.

Y/N smiled. “Nice to meet you, Bucky.”

He froze at her smile. She was stunning. She had dirt on her cheek and a little sweat on her forehead but it only seemed to add to her beauty.

Her brow furrowed and she used a hand to shield her eyes from the sun as she looked out over her property. “So, I need all of the fields cut and the fence lines cleaned. That will all probably take you at least a week. Then I’ll need the front field bailed but I have to rent the machine. And I’m sure you’ve noticed the fences are busted in several spots, we used to have cows, and one of Gavin’s bulls took out a few posts in a fit. And-”

“Wait, I’m sorry.” Bucky jumped in as politely as he could. “So, I have the job?”

“Isn’t that why you came?” She looked a little confused.

“But you don’t even know me.” He said.

Y/N smiled. “You come highly recommended, Sergeant.” She leaned on one leg and rested her basket on her hip.

Bucky ticked his head to the side and then it dawned on him. “Steve called you.”

She nodded once. “He did.” She grinned.

Bucky could have melted from the softness of her smile.

“You can run a field mower, right?” She asked.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Okay, great. I put the keys on the seat for you.” She said over her shoulder as she began to walk away. “I’ll be in the yellow barn for a bit but if you can’t find me there give me a ring.”

“Will do.” He said to himself as he watched her walk away for a minute. He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. He cursed Steve under his breath.

*   *   *   *

Bucky ran the mower for five hours. Somewhere in the middle Y/N called him back to the house for water and lunch but he insisted he only needed the water and that he’d take a bottle to-go if she had it, which she did.

Her property was huge, he guessed at least 250 acres. He didn’t even finish half of the first field. He pulled the Tractor back to where it was parked when he pulled up, then he tried to brush as much of the dust off of him as he could.

He could feel a sunburn on the back of his neck and decided that he’d either need a real hat or something to cover the skin above his collar.

He walked up the front steps and knocked on the door.

He heard little bare feet slapping on hardwood and running his way. The door opened and a little blonde baby was grinning up at him. “Hi!” She beamed.

“Hi,” He smiled back. “Is your mom around?”

“MOMMA!” She shouted.

A faint voice called back, “Comin’, baby!”

Bucky smiled.

The girl grabbed his hand. “I’m Lex. You should come inside. Momma doesn’t like it when the front door is left open.” She tugged on him and he conceded. Lex closed the door and then left him there.

Another girl walked past and when she noticed him her eyes grew wide. She very clearly had no idea who he was.

“Momma,” She started as she backed away.

Y/N appeared from around the corner and her gait faltered when she saw Bucky in the house. She put her hands on her daughter’s shoulders.

“Bucky, who let you in?”

Bucky had clearly crossed a line. He backed up, taking a step towards the door. “I’m sorry, Lex-”

Y/N rolled her eyes and sighed, relieved. “Of course, Lex.”

The daughter at Y/N’s side twisted and shouted as she disappeared, “Lex! You can’t just let people in the house!”

“But momma does it!” A faint Lex shouted back.

“Momma is the grown-up, she’s supposed to!”

“Gracie quit yellin’ at your sister!” Y/N turned back to Bucky. “I’m sorry. Kids.” She chuckled.

“I was just about to head out but wanted to know what time you’d like me tomorrow.” He confessed.

“Oh, umm.” She put her hands at her hips. “How about eight? I’ll pay you for a full day's work today but I’d figured that you could work eight to three for the most part. Weather pending, of course.”

He nodded. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

“Great. Oh! Will you come write down your information so I can pay you?” She waived him over and headed down the hall.

Bucky followed as she turned a corner and ended up in a massive kitchen that spilled into the family room.

“I’ll pay you weekly at twenty two an hour if that works?”

Bucky’s eyes went a bit wide. “Yes, ma’am that works for me.”

She looked over at him as she grabbed a pen and pad from a small basket on the counter. “Stop calling me ‘Ma’am’. Just Y/N is fine.”

He nodded as he wrote down his name and number and address. “Will I get to meet your husband?” he’d meant it innocently.

Y/N turned and said, “He passed a few years ago,” with no tone whatsoever.

Bucky jerked his head up. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

She held a hand up and plastered on that gentle smile. “It’s fine. Really.”

Bucky handed her the pad and pen back.

“So, will a check work?” She asked.

“Sure, that’s fine.” He smiled back. He felt bad for bringing up her dead husband. He also felt bad knowing she had kids. “I appreciate the work.”

“I appreciate the help.”

There was an awkward pause so Bucky tried to fill it, “I’m sorry for coming into the house when I shouldn’t have. I didn’t mean to scare your daughter.”

“Who, Gracie? Nah, she’s tough. She was probably trying to decide if she was gonna grab a bat.” Y/N chuckled. “Lexie, on the other hand, needs some work on her stranger danger skills. She’s only five but that girl is another kind of fearless.”

Bucky laughed. “Well, hopefully I fall out of the stranger category, now.”

Y/n nodded. “Steve vouched for you so, I’d say you’re good.”

“Did he really call you?”

“He did.”

Bucky shook his head. He made a note to punch Steve real hard.

“I’ve known Steve since before Gavin died. He’s a good man. He mentioned you a lot. I’m glad to finally meet you.”

Y/N met Bucky’s eyes and they stayed like that for a moment.

“Mom! Lex won’t give me my Legos back!” Gracie yelled from up stairs. A smaller scream followed little running footsteps.

Y/N sighed and put a hand to her head. “I should take care of that.”

Bucky jerked from his spot against the counter. “Yeah, yeah. Of course, sorry. I’ll let you get to it.”

“Yeah, thanks.” She followed him to the front door. “Feel free to use whatever you need in the morning. If it’s on the property you can use it or fix it. I’ll have a full list of everything I need done, too. You’re welcome to leave for lunch whenever you’d like or eat up here.”

“Thank you.” He smiled at her as he stepped through the door. “Have a good evening.”

“You, too. Good night, Bucky.”

He jogged down the steps and hopped in his truck. He suddenly got the feeling he was going to love his job.

* * * * * * * * * *

Forever Tags:

@cassiopeiassky​ @sgtbxckybxrnes​

@itsanerdlife​ @beccaanne814​ 

@tanelle83​ @artemis521​

@elaacreditava​ @feelmyroarrrr​

@palaiasaurus64​ @the-stuttering-kiwi​

@destiel-artemis​ @sexyvixen7​

@girl-next-door-writes​ @coolest-avenger

@xoxabs88xox​ @youclickedthislink​

@also-fangirlinsweden​ @widowvinter​

@daughterofthenight117​ @drayshadow​

@archy3001​ @miraclesoflove​

Redcove Tags:

@cavillanche​ @bi-bucky-barnes

@mylifeiscrazy0423​ @dumblani

@thefridgeismybestie​ @csigeoblue​

[bxthharmon]

Never Go Home Again, Pt. VIII || JJ Maybank x Reader

Words: 4102 (jeez, making up for a short last episode??)

Series Warnings: violence / talking about abuse / toxic relationships / talking about nudes sex tapes and sex tapes / drugs / underage drinking

Pt. Warnings: Breaking and entering? / underage drinking

Series Summary: A new girl, a shoebox of old memories, a past she’s trying to forget coincide with a hotheaded, but selfless, boy.  teenagers getting in way over their heads

Pt. Summary: Midsummers takes place as the pogues make headway in the hunt, Y/N struggles with her two friends’ enmity.

A/N: okay so longgg chapter. hope it’s not too bad, and i only hv one chapter left in my drafts so im gonna have to start writing instead of just editing... hopefully updates will stay just as frequent tho. lemme know abt tags and feedback, and pleaseeeeeee send requests!!! lockdowns giving way too much time.

Chapters linked in my masterlist.

“masterlist”

You borrowed your dad’s car, and dressed in the simplistic, elegant dress intended for your prom back in LA, you arrived at the party. 

You found yourself surrounded in summery cocktail dresses and flower crowns, tuxedos that ranged from elegant dark blue to pastel pinks, a couple of floral patterns spicing up the mix. Soft lights hung loosely over the patio, lights hardly noticeable in the soft, bright hue of the evening, the sun yet to fall into the glittering sea stretched out from the view in the hotel. You worked your way through the silks, chiffons and satins. Drinks were pushed into your hand, tapas offered and awkward smiles shared. By the time you found Kie, you were armed with a glass of champagne and the feeling of not belonging. She laughed at your already exhausted smile, and had dragged you to find Pope. Once you were with Kie, it took twice as long to get anywhere, because everyone seemed to stop her and ask about her parents, the restaurant, or to offer criticism on her choice of friends, giving you side-eye. You were the one who spotted Pope, pointing him out and letting her drag you over to him.

“Excuse me, sir,” Kie mocked a British accent, “do we have to shuck these ourselves? ‘Cause it might mess up my costume.” 

You all laughed, hugging him in greeting. “We wouldn’t want that now, would we?” Pope returned the joke, doing your pogue handshake.

“That accent was bad.” You shook your head.

“Yeah, it was. I was gonna let it go.” She laughed, “Y/N’s is way better.”

“Oh stop it!” you joked, in your British accent, pretending to blush, “You’re making me blush.”

“You ever seen this many kooks in one place?” Kie asked.

“Yeah, last year.” Pope grinned.

“We’re in the lion’s den.” You sighed. “Hey, have either of you heard from JJ?”

They looked at you sympathetically, shaking their heads.

“He’ll be alright.” Kie soothed. “He’s got the survival instincts of a cockroach.” 

“In the month I’ve known him, this is the longest I’ve gone without hearing from him.” You sighed, and Pope looked down guiltily.

“This is my fault.” 

“You didn’t do this, Pope.” you assured him, “Topper almost killed you, remember? JJ chose to, you know him, always putting others first. You can’t carry the blame, that’s not fair on you.”

You turned to the noise of an applaud, seeing Sarah and her family entering. You held back a snigger at the sight of Rose’s crown, but smiled at Sarah, who smiled back.

“Here come Lord Capital and the exploiters.” Kie sighed.

“She’s definitely gonna poke someone’s eye out with that.” Pope commented, and you looked back at Rose’s headdress, this time unable to contain the giggle.

You chatted for a while longer, finishing the lavish champagne and wanting to have some fun. You had practically dragged Kie to the dance floor, making her dance with you as a steady flow of drinks passed both your systems. Eventually, she was summoned to talk with her parents, leaving you alone on the dance floor. Before long, you found yourself dancing with Sarah, spinning her round, and exaggerating the both of your moves, mocking the way the adults were dancing. You went to get a drink after a few songs, and walked straight into JJ.

He was just as surprised as you, but you reacted quickly, pulling him down into a soft kiss by his collar. You looked over your shoulder, blushing at the sight of Pope and Kie clapping and giving you thumbs up. You turned your attention to him, tracing your thumb over his split lip and the bruises on the left side of his face. The dark cut contrasted the pink of his lips, and the bruises looked a painful, mottled purple that spread over his jaw and up to his cheek bone.

“JJ,” you murmured, “Did your dad do this?” 

“My dad, got a nice right jab, ya know?” he tried to joke, seeing the worry in your eyes. The light he hoped would return to your eyes stayed gone, as anger took over your features.

“JJ, I’m gonna fucking kill him.” you seethed, “He had no fucking-”

“Y/N,” he said, cupping your face, “leave it, okay? It’s nothing that hasn’t happened before.”

“JJ that’s not making me feel any bet-”

He kissed you again, taking you off guard, and you smiled softly when he pulled away. “I gotta go,” he mumbled, “I’ll see you in a bit, I promise, babygirl.”

You nodded dumbly as he walked away, turning back to Sarah, and seeing her wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at you. You rolled your eyes at her, making an excuse to leave, and walked over to Kie, who started pestering you for details, which you supplied. Your discussion with Kie was cut short by the sight of JJ being hauled out of the house and into the garden.

“Hey, Mr Dunleavy, I see you got your drink. Good, that’s really nice of you. I’m actually gonna down that.” he took the drink, and, well, downed it. “It’s okay everybody!” he yelled, “Do not panic. Leave it to the men and women in uniform! Let’s hear it for them!” he shouted, making you and Kie smirk, trying to hide your giggles. “Rose! You look like lady liberty. Good to see you again. Hey, buddy, can I have one of those?”

“Let go of him!” You called, working your way towards him.

“You can’t just boot him!” Kie backed you, ignoring the warning looks you were both getting from her parents. He looked up at you, a tiny smile on his face. “I invited him here! I’m a member of this club.” she continued through her parent’s protests. JJ turned and pushed the guard into the crowd, stumbling in the opposite direction.

“Sorry about that! Hey,” he pointed at you and Kie, “mandatory power hour at Rixon’s, Kie, Y/N. Pope, you as well, alright? Rixon’s cove, let’s roll! A’ight Y/N, come on!” You grinned, he turned to Kie, “Workers of the world unite, throw off your chains!”

Kie and Pope ran ahead, both hugging John B, and you ran straight into JJ’s arms, letting him swing you around and kiss you, for once, not caring that everyone was staring.

--

“Hey, guys, so like, my dad’s already gonna kill me.” Pope said as you all settled around the campfire. “So what’s this mandatory meeting about?”

John B shot finger guns to JJ, who looked up, “Might as well tell him, man, before we’re all gaffed.”

“You ready for this? John B replied.

You and Kie looked at each other, “Yeah.” you said, in unison.

“So, the gold never went down with the Royal Merchant.” John B started.

“Here we go again.” You muttered, settling into JJ’s side.

“No, alright? Wait. Hear him out, alright?” JJ backed John B, and you frowned, shrugging and gesturing for him to continue.

“It’s been here the whole time. It’s on the island.”

“Are you serious?” Kie asked. “Oh my God.”

“I’d like to voice my skepticism.” Pope spoke.

“I’m sure you would, Pope, but can I please present you with my evidence, Sir?”

“Proceed.” Pope mocked.

“Alright, so, in my backpack, I have a letter from Denmark Tanny.” 

“Who the fuck’s that?” You questioned.

“Denmark Tanny was a slave who survived the Royal merchant wreck. Check this out.” he handed Kie some paper, “So slaves weren’t mentioned as crew members on the ship, but my dad, he found the complete manifest. That was his big discovery. So Tanny used the gold from the Merchant to buy his freedom.” Kie passed you the paper. “After that, he bought his farm. Drumroll please,” you drumrolled on your thighs, “because that farm is… Tannyhill Plantation.”

“Tannyhill?” Kie affirmed. You passed Pope the paper.

“Yeah.” John B continued, “so after that, he used his money to free even more slaves. And then he sold a shit ton of rice, which pisses off all the white planters, and then they decide to lynch him. So on the day they were coming to get him, he writes a letter to his son as a farewell, and in the last line of that letter, he leaves a coded message about where to find the gold.”

“Where?” You whisper excitedly.

“Harvest the wheat, in parcel nine, near the water. Except, there’s no wheat. You see, wheat is code for gold. Check this out.” he shows you another piece of paper, and a map. “The gold is in parcel nine, near the water.” you and Kie squeal, laughing excitedly, “All we need is an original survey map of the property, and we’ve found the gold!”

“Okay, so, this might have a small chance of actually being true.” Pope said, and JJ got up from beside you.

“Dude,” you laughed, “this is like, King Tut!” 

JJ pulled John B into a hug, lifting him up. “Hello, fire! You’re near the fire. You’re gonna burn.” John B warned, and JJ put him down. “I’m so proud of you right now.”

“Thank you.”

“That’s really sweet of you.” JJ looked at you, “And jeez, Y/N, what is it with you and Tutankhamun?”

“4th Grade history?” You guessed.

“Okay, so, guys,” Pope brought the attention back. “What’s the plan?”

“Good question.” John B agreed.

“How long does this go on for?” you moaned, “Wrap it up, JB.”

“Sarah Cameron’s coming tonight.” he simplified. “And she’ll bring the original survey.”

“Hold on.” Kie stopped him, “Sarah? Wh-why Sarah?”

“This is gonna be good.” JJ muttered, and you raised your eyebrows at him.

“Sarah, um, she - she helped me into the archives at Chapel Hill yesterday, and that’s where I got the letter.”

“You were in Chapel Hill with Sarah Cameron?” Kie frowned, anger contorting her features.

“Are you guys macking?” you asked, a disbelieving smirk on your lips.

“He was mackin’ on her.” JJ confirmed, interrupting John B’s pitiful attempts at an explanation, and earning him a giggle from you.

“For real?” you asked John B.

“I wasn’t macking.” John B defended.

“You were totally macking Sarah Cameron.” JJ repeated.

“I wasn’t macking on her, okay? I was using her for access.”

“There was access, alright.” JJ mumbled, earning another giggle.

“Okay,” you piped up, “JB you should have consulted first, Kie, she obviously did something shitty, but JB, using her is pure shitty, so you better just be covering for yourself right now.”

He looked at you defeated, and you groaned. “Did you tell her about the treasure?” Kie asked.

“I was just trying to get into the archives!”

“Is that a yes?”

“I left out key details!”

“Yo, what? You let a kook in on our secret? What about Pogue Lyfe? What about the t-shirt company, bro?”

“I was just using her for information.”

“Why don’t I believe you?”

“I’m tryna make us filthy rich here! Okay, so that we can pay off a boat, or - or, uh, send you to autopsy school to study dead bodies! Look, you guys know me! Do I look like the kind of person who would fall for Sarah Cameron?”

You and JJ made eye contact, “well..” you started.

“Um.” he chuckled.

“Do you want us to answer that, or-”

“Just - just stop.” John B looked at the pair of you, defeated.

“Look, you don’t know her yet, I do! You can’t trust her!”

“Her brother did hit me in the back with a golf club.” Pope pointed out.

“Rafe and Sarah are different human beings.” John B countered.

“What did she do to you, exactly?” you asked Kie, wandering how she could hate your friend so much.

“She’s like a - a spitting cobra. First she - first she blinds you and then she-”

“This is a bad analogy.” you mumbled.

“Listen to me!” Kie demanded, “Whatever we get, she’s gonna try to take.”

--

You and JJ were lying on your bed, not having bothered to get changed before getting under the covers. You interlocked your fingers with his, snuggling closer, your eyes barely open. “What do you think Sarah did?”

JJ turned his head to look at you, he could tell it was tearing you up. “I… don’t know.” JJ sighed, defeated. “I’ve known Kie for years, and she’s never talked about it.”

“Sarah was super kind to me, I don’t understand why Kie is so against her. It’s so shitty, ‘cause they’re both my friends, and I want them to get on, but they obviously won’t.”

“They might?” JJ muttered, thinking.

“C’mon, Jay, you know it’s impossible. And I don’t even know what happened between them, so I can’t fix it.” 

“You know it’s not up to you to fix it, right?”

“So why do I feel like I have to?”

“Because you’re an empathetic, kind, brilliant person?”

“Jay,” you groaned, as he kissed you, “Be serious!”

“I am.” he mumbled, kissing you again.

“You’re infuriating,” you giggled, “you know that?”

“It’s all part of my brand.”

“Your brand?”

“Oh yeah, super-hot surfer pogue, insanely funny, get’s the best weed on the island, you know, the usual.”

“You’re full of shit.”

“Hey! At least I have a brand!”

“Is that a comment aimed at me?” you mocked offence.

“I mean, your brand is ‘mysterious new girl’.”

“You think I’m mysterious?”

“I mean, yeah, none of us know, like, why you moved or anything about you.”

Your heart twinged, but you covered for yourself, mocking him, “It’s all part of my brand.”

--

“I’m sorry, you’re staying where?” Kie passed John B to get to the bar, the group having gathered in the Wreck.

“Tannyhill.” John B repeated, and you shook your head, disbelieving.

“So you’re living with Sarah Cameron?”

“Okay, look, the only reason I’m living there is because her dad bailed me out, right?”

“I still can’t believe you got pushed off that wooden frame thing.” You muttered, and he smirked, fighting down a laugh as you and Kie went to the group’s table.

“And it’s way better than foster care,” he continued, “which, by the way, where I was about to go if Ward didn’t-”

“Hey, so do you have membership to the clubs now?” Pope asked.

“I don’t know, Pope.”

“What about those little golf carts that they drive around?” JJ added, “You get one of them?”

“Does it come with a sweater-vest, or do you have to buy one of those on your own?” You add.

“Look, you promised.” Kie brought the focus back, like always. “You said you weren’t with her.”

“Bro, just own it.” JJ backed, “She got you.”

“Look if you wanna hang out with her, that’s fine.” Kie sighed, “I mean, Y/N sometimes hangs out with her. But I’m letting you know right now that I’m not doing anything with Sarah.”

“Do you guys see her here?” John B pointed out, “No, right. Okay. A little focus would be fantastic. We’ve got the map, right?”

“It’s all out of whack ‘cause the guy was ganja’d when he drew it.” JJ commented.

“No,” you corrected, “the coastline changed, dummy.”

“So we just have to look for landmarks that haven’t changed.” Pope clarified.

“What about the old forts?” John B suggested.

“You know, the more you guys talk, the more I realise that I know nothing about this island.” You observed, treasuring the feeling of JJ running a hand through your hair.

“Battery Jasper.” Kie pointed.

“Let’s go.” you  stood up, leading the group out to the VW.

John B drove, none of you really paying attention until you reached the landmark.

The five of you looked out over the island, expansive green leading to expansive blue, you were at a high point. “We’re in battery, right here.” Pope points on the map. “So if this is parcel nine, then it’s somewhere northeast of here.”

“Somewhere over there.” Kie points, and you take JJ’s juul off him, taking a puff, then handing it back.

“Over there?” JJ followed the point. “Guys, that’s not Tannyhill, that’s a subdivision.”

“Tannyhill Plantation used to be the entire island.” reminded John B. “It got sold into smaller pieces over time.”

Pope inspected the map again, “So we’re just looking for an old stone wall.”

You ventured back to the Twinkie, following Pope’d instructions, again. John B took a sharp left, pulling up next to an overgrown stone wall.

“That looks like a stone wall to me.” JJ said, almost proud.

“This is it.” Pope confirmed. Your car doors clattered open as you hopped out of the car.

“Not the Crain House.” John B sighed.

“Are you kidding me?” Kie repeated the sentiment.

“Worst case scenario.” JJ confirmed.

“Why’d it have to be here of all places?” Pope asked.

“Hang on a second.” You turned to your friends, your lack of apprehension standing out in the group. “It’s just a house. What’s the big deal?”

“I heard Mrs Crain buried her husband’s head on the property.” JJ told you. You all looked at him, the other’s in fear, you in skepticism.

“Well that’s bullshit.” you shrugged, taking a hold of the top of the wall and pulling yourself up, throwing your legs over and landing in the overgrown thicket. You pricked yourself in the brambles, and swore. The pogues on the other side of the wall immediately started asking if you were okay, making you giggle. “Just be careful of the brambles.”

Once they were all on the inside, you began to venture inwards. “Look, Y/N, you know whose house this is, right?”

“Some old lady’s?” you guessed, and were greeted with four unimpressed stares.

“Honestly, I don’t really believe the stories of this place.” John B joined your skepticism, but was shushed by Pope.

“Which stories did you hear?” JJ asked Kie.

“The one where she killed her husband with an axe and that she’s been holed up ever since.” said Kie, making you snort. “On certain nights, when the moon is full…”

You saw where it was going, and joined in with Kie’s mockingly spooky hand movements as she finished, “... you can see her in the window!” the pair of you giggled.

“No, girls, it’s not funny, ‘cause it’s all true.” JJ shook his head, as you and Kie made ‘Waah’ noises. “I swear to God guys, this is all real. I knew Hollis. Jeez!”

You smirked, “Yeah, jeez. Who knew you were superstitious? And who’s Hollis?”

“Wait, you knew Hollis Crain?” asked Pope.

“Who’s Hollis?” you repeated, ignored again.

“Yeah, dude.” JJ confirmed.

“Dude, how do you know Hollis Crain?”

“Dude, who is Hollis Crain?” you mocked Pope’s anxious movements.

“She was my babysitter, man. She told me all about it.” He looked around the group, “She told me the truth… about her mother and what happened in this house.”

“And what would that be?” You asked, still skeptical as you looked up to the unkempt house.

“So as a kid, she heard all the stories that her mother killed her father, and she was a murderer and all. Hollis didn’t believe it. Until that night.”

“What night?”

“It all came back to her.” JJ turned to look at the house, “When Hollis was six years old, she heard her parents arguing downstairs. So she goes downstairs to see her mom washing her hands in the sink full of blood. Her mother just says that she cut her finger. The next morning, she says her father and her split up. But then, Hollis noticed something. Her mother going into the parlour constantly, in and out and in and out with plastic bags. Weeks pass, and Hollis decides to use the outhouse. And as she’s using it, she looks down, and there, in the outhouse, is her father’s head, looking straight back at her.”

“God, you are so full of shit.” you and John B outburst in unison.

“Dude, I swear to God, man.” JJ shook his head.

“Did she call the police?” Pope asked.

“She didn’t have time.” you and John B started to walk on, only to be grabbed and pulled back by JJ.

“What?” you asked, confused. He turned to John B.

“You sure you wanna do this? She’s an axe murderer. You got a cast on.”

“I don’t give a shit if she’s an axe murderer, okay? I got nothing to lose, right? You comin’, or what?”

You follow John B through the garden, and he gathers you in a semicircle. “So here’s the plan. We need to look for the wheat near the water like it said in Denmark’s letter.”

“Okay, like, what kind of water?” asked Pope, “Like, pond water?”

JJ chuckled, “Bong water?” you slapped his arm lightly.

“It just said look for water, okay?”

“That’s the shittiest secret message ever.” Kie moved past John B.

“You wanna complain a little more, Kie? Nobody said it was gonna be easy.”

“I’ll search the northeast quadrant,” Pope started, addressing you and JJ, “you two search the northwest.”

“The decapitation quadrant?” JJ objected, and you took his arm, pulling him with you.

You scanned your area, coming up empty, then followed John B into the basement. You went in before JJ, who started singing a song about how Mrs Crain was going to kill you all.

You and Pope turned, shining your torches in his face.

“Can you stop?” You hissed, and he shut up.

You swung the torch light over the room, the broken and discarded furniture giving the room a horror-movie vibe. You’d never admit it, but you were beginning to feel creeped.

“This is the part of the movie where we get attacked by the old, half-dead blind lady.” You muttered, and JJ nodded, gesturing to you as if you had predicted the future, the others rolling their eyes.

“See any water?” Kie asked, five torches sweeping around the place. You felt a tickle on your arm and slapped, your palm coming away with the brown stain of squished insect. “Another dead end?”

JJ ran his hand on the pipes, “There’s not even water on the pipes.”

“There’s no water here.” Pope confirmed as you slapped another bug, noticing that it was a mosquito.

“Not a dropamino.” JJ continued.

“Know why we didn’t find it?” Kie piped up, “Bad karma.”

“Oh, God, here we go.” John B muttered.

“You know, we had a good thing going. And then you decide to rope in Barbie, and now the trail’s gone dry.”

“Literally,” smirked, “there’s no water.”

“Coincidence?” Kie continued as Pope and JJ sniggered, “Probably not.”

“This is exactly why I didn’t wanna tell you about Sarah.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“What the hell’s the deal? What’s going on with you two?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing? Is it because I kissed you? Is that the problem?”

Your eyes widened, your mouth forming a little ‘o’ as Kiara slapped him, JJ and Pope both calling out in surprise.

“Stop treating me like I’m some girl that’s obsessed with you instead of your best friend who’s actually trying to look out for you.”

The pair of them started bickering, slapping each other, using skeeters as excuses. You slapped your leg, seeing the brown stain of a mosquito, again.

“Why the fuck are there so many mosquitoes?” you fumed, slapping yourself again.

“Dude, I know, seriously. Tiny little vampire bats, just leave me alone.” JJ added, the pair of you slapping again, and again, and again. “Oh my gosh, can we leave? ‘Cause I’m already itchin’ to leave. Haha, punny.”

You looked at Pope, who was staring at the floor, his torch shining over it. You both stomped on the ground hearing the hollow sound as JJ tried to show you ‘Mrs Crain’s voodoo doll’. You picked up a stone, dropping it through the crack in the floorboards, and hearing the ‘plop’ as it landed in water. You and Pope scrambled, pushing the loose bits of wood out of the way to lift the board, opening up the well. Pope shone his torch down.

“Well, well, well.” he joked.

“Water great discovery.” You added.

“Great dad jokes, guys.” John B sighed.

“They built this part of the house right over it.”said Kie.

“This is where she hid the bodies.” JJ nodded.

“JJ, just stop.” You shook your head.

“No, I’m dead serious.”

“Yeah, you will be, because I’m seriously considering pushing you down that well.”

“It was never an outhouse.” JJ continued.

“She probably doesn’t even know it’s here.” Kie shrugged.

“So, we found water.” Pope looked to John B.

“We’re gonna need a really big rope.”

Tags: @tangledinsparkles @jellyfishbeansontoast @lolitstiana @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @teamnick @thoughtsofthestars @obxmxybxnk @jjmaybankswife @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @sxcretinhuman @alexa-playafricabytoto @angvelics @badwolf00593 @coloradogirl07 @mendesmaybank​ @jiaraendgame

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Ep 34 S4: The Boys (and Mai) are Back in Town

OK, back to the writing table! It’s been a while! So I made the mistake of like...scrolling down on the playlist when I realized...

This duel is like 6 episodes long (7 even? It’s a lot) and like...yo I have no idea if we’ll finish this season in 2020! Damn you 2020. Damn you.

But wtv, what I like about this side project of mine is that I don’t have to rush things, and I can really spend the time with each episode and just...enjoy the moment. So often I watch a whole series in like half a week and then it’s like...I don’t get to enjoy it. This series I’ve enjoyed for years now. That’s kinda neat. So...we’re gonna be slow...but lets just enjoy this weird ass anime moment together. 2020 deadlines are all fake anyway. I’m not even sure if 2020 was a real thing that happened or like...an alternate universe opening a door and letting through just so many terrible ghosts. We might never know.

Last we left off, everyone has decided to hallucinate Dartz’ terrible backstory.

Unfortunately we have NO darts in the past. Was really hoping to see at least one darts reference in this entire season, just one darts board on his wall. But alas, we will not have a Season Zero death darts match with Dartz. (Man I need to get back to Season Zero. And FMA. And a lot of things)

I feel like if I watched the original version there would have been some things different. First off...what ocean? Second off...well, we’ll get to that. There’s some things I think were changed for English TV.

Including censoring the nude people like it’s James Cameron’s Avatar.

Fun fact did you know that James Cameron’s Avatar was supposed to be ass naked and that they were supposed to have like 8 cat nipples? Yeah.

Man, that movie was a mistake. I’m so glad we all decided to collectively forget James Cameron’s Avatar.

(read more under the cut)

The actual locations of anything in Atlantis does not match up with it when it’s zoomed out. We have giant cities, we have sprawling wheat fields, and we have...THIS situation. This active volcano next to...pine trees?

I feel like they wanted it to feel vaguely Pompeii, since I know people like to put Atlantis in the Mediterranean. Maybe? Maybe that’s what they were going for here?

One of my top ten favorite Yugioh plot twists ever was finding out this episode that this snake who has no limbs somehow created these...rocks...that all of our main characters have been wearing and obsessing over this entire time.

And so this is my theory, this is the thesis of my Yugioh college paper. These rocks are turds. There’s no way these rocks aren’t turds. There’s no way this snake didn’t poop out a bunch of glowy magic stones and then stuff them into a volcano.

THE ROCKS WERE TURDS THE WHOLE TIME.

God bless, Yugioh.

Seto spends this entire episode groveling that he isn’t playing cards that will absolutely kill him. Like Mokuba, Seto isn’t happy until he’s cheating death.

(I really wish we got more super past future tech. I love that type of concept art. Instead, we just got a lot of flying boats--the same boat that I think the team flew on in S1 when they went to Seto’s video game universe.

So those boats are 10,000 years old? They existed in the 10,000 year old Pangea, huh?

Neat.)

Anyway, lets take a gander at Princess Zelda circa Ocarina of Time.

SUPER princess Zelda, and I know it’s not 1:1 but damn it feels so much like a late 90′s Princess Zelda outfit to me. Check out that PURPLE. That low poly circlet. The random ass sword. The thick ass belt. 

Also check out this super dead family.

Yo so this is a 00′s thing, a period of time where we liked to tell stories like LOST, with just a bunch of random ass plot twists in flashbacks instead of just...telling a story from start to finish. And can be a great and fun way to do it--but at the sacrifice of actually making me care about these characters while they were still alive.

Like I would have maybe cared about Chris and Ironheart dying if I had known that Dartz was killing his whole family? With...lightning strikes? But alas, these dumbasses decided NOT to tell us they were royal. It’s so strange both from a logical perspective and a storytelling perspective.

Man...missed opportunity, IMO, but I can see why they did it. The wanted the ‘Gotcha!’ I feel ambivalent about it, honestly.

And who am I kidding, people are still doing unpredictable plot twists this. It’s a way to tell a story. Is it the most impactful way? No. It’s...it’s a gotcha!

It’s at this point in the story that things start ramping up, but it’s not clear if it takes place over years or just a couple hours. People just start going a little cray and turning into Monsters.

Straight up, though--did they turn into monsters that already existed and are modern Duel Monster cards, or are the monsters from modern Duel Monsters cards actually descendants of Atlantis who were once human?

They don’t say, actually. Maybe...maybe every card was a human once. That would be a freakin weird Yugioh twist if Kuriboh was like a 45 year old dude.

PS Dartz was married...soak that in.

ROMANCE ON YUGIOH ALERT.

Love it every time. She was there for like...half a second, and Dartz was like throwing so much shade about how “only the people with evil in their hearts were turned” and it’s like...

...dude that’s your wife? OK then. I can see you guys got along real well.

Anyway, so long to the ship of IonaxDartz, you were here for even less than the amount of time that Seto dated Blue Eyes White Dragon in a hallucination, which kind of sets a new record for us.

This might be the shortest-lived ship in all of Yugioh and they have a 12 year old daughter and what I assume was a 12 year marriage for that entire time.

that is if they...HAD the concept of marriage 10,000 years ago on Atlantis Pangea island. Maybe?

I mean they might have not had the concept of dating and marriage yet because he gets over this like immediately. The show will never hover back to that time Dartz watched his own wife turn into a creature. We have no idea if he was like “OK honey lets uh...let just get you a haircut and maybe no one will notice?” We have no idea how long he was desperately trying to remain married to the beast that was no longer human and was also trying to eat everyone else in his court. We just don’t know.

Dartz just had a lot of other things to think about. He’s been King for like...a year...he’s only 21...he’s just doing a bad job at everything.

(Biden opens Pres Trumps bedroom in the White House come January and it’s juts full of glowing green evil golf balls) (OK that was my last 2020 joke I swear to you) 

Anyway, Dad is here, but it’s a little too late to really do anything with the situation. Everyone is worshiping little snake turds. What can you really do about that?

One eye golden, the other eye, the color of a glistening Leviathan turd.

After the rest of the surviving royal family was chased out of the castle, Dartz decides to just wave his hands around a lot.

I’m not entirely sure what Kings do...never really had one...but I think they’re supposed to do more than wave their hands at a crowd like the Pope. Like...everyone’s dead right? Like everyone?

Who’s he talking to?

Meanwhile, Chris and Ironheart decide to revive some monster tablets to get some real actual duel monsters to do their bidding.

So apparently some monsters are in the tablets, and other’s have just always been here...and...

They didn’t know violence but they did have the cards?

There’s a lot of vague stuff they didn’t feel like ever writing, because it would have probably been boring to write about. I guess we’ll just let our imagination fill in the rest and ignore all the inconsistencies. It’s a kid’s anime. well........kind of a kid’s anime. A lot of people have died this episode and I don’t even know how to add it to the death count.

How many people live in Atlantis? I dunno.

Are the inhabitants of Atlantis even dead, or are they just turned into Monster cards? I dunno. Clearly the Great Leviathan wasn’t awoken this first battle so...did all those souls get returned? I dunno.

Either way I’m not gonna bother the death count about it because I just do not know if they died, and since it was neither an implied death or an on screen death...I dunno.

Just feels like a bit of a translation snafu--where maybe they couldn’t kill that many people on English TV, so they were like “AND IT’S A DRAW!” but also...it could be canon to both versions. The leviathan didn’t work the first time, maybe no one died? I dunno.

In this shot, PS, Raphael just gently backs up out of this flying plane, and it looked really funny to me. I probs won’t cap it because it’s split between two other cuts, but just...they just kind of moved that sprite to the right really slowly, no animation, it was great.

Dartz decides to end the backstory hallucination, and we get introduced to a new twist--a better twist than that last one, that’s right, all our boys are cards!

Including this asshole!

Been a while since our boys have been cards! Man, I miss Bakura!

Yes, I looked back to earlier episodes this season to see what was going on with Pegasus’ new look. I think what happened is that it’s always been this shade of gray purple--but when you put purple next to it’s opposing color (which is yellow colors) it looks even MORE purple. It’s just how color works. Love color theory. mm. Good stuff. Good purple hair.

I can’t wait until Yami kills Yugi for the 3rd time in one season.

Anyway, that’s all for now, and like always, here’s a link to read these in chrono order.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #457

“blue are the words i say and what i think  /  blue are the feelings that live inside of me”

Do you buy your lingerie at Victoria’s Secret? No. That shit is so overpriced and not for my size group. Would you ever use an online dating service? I never would again. Are you good at multitasking? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Have you ever eaten Frosted Mini Wheats? Ugh, those are so gross. What does your bikini look like? You think THIS bitch wears a bikini??????????????????????? Does age really matter in a relationship? To an extent, yes. How much does the last person you kissed mean to you? I honestly don't even know if I'd be here without her. Almost like magic, Sara popped back into my life right after I returned home from the hospital following my suicide attempt. She helped make recovery possible as a solid source of support. Do you use lotion? Not NEARLY enough. My skin is so dry; I need to. Do you believe in teenage love? I experienced it deeply and thoroughly, so yes. Have you ever sat on the roof of your house? No. Do you like Sublime? I like that one popular one of theirs. "Santaria" or whatever it's called? What’s your favorite movie genre? Paranormal horror, especially the "found footage" type. It's creepy to imagine it being actually real. Is there a celebrity that you’d be willing to have a one night stand with? If he was single? I know in my gut I would lmaooooo Do you want to live in your current town the rest of your life? OH MY GOD PLEASE NO If you found out today your best friend was gay what would you do? She's demisexual, so. She can like anybody. If you could get a pet for free today-what kind/what name? A tegu, because it wouldn't need an enclosure that I don't have. I'd let it free roam. God, I can only imagine Roman's reaction. How many people have you slept with? If you mean what I think you do by "slept," one. Do you ever wish you had a family business to become a part of? Not really. What’s the most gruesome way you could come up with to kill someone? Hunny, have you seen my dark RP????? The world best be glad I'm a pacifist lmfao Do you think anyone deserves to die that way? I don't believe in torture, so no. If you had to fight for survival, what would your weapon of choice be? A gun, I guess? I'd want something with range and that's quick. I wanted to say a bow and arrow, but preparing another arrow after shooting once could really cost you your life. Where did you buy your favorite pair of jeans? I don't wear jeans anymore. Do you have a large dog? We don't have a dog, period. If not, are you afraid of them? No, I love big 'ole puppos!!!!! I just don't wanna own a dog myself. Are you good at playing darts? Holy fuck no, I have NO hand-eye coordination. I once stabbed the guy at a balloon popping booth thing with a dart in the arm, if that tells you anything, ooooooooooof. Do you like breaded chicken sandwiches? YESSSSSSSSS omg Do your parents know that/if you smoke? They know that I don’t. Have you ever been under a blacklight? Omg so in elementary school, we did this thing once where we all washed our hands as best we could and then put them under some sort of light (maybe a blacklight, idk???) to see JUST how resilient germs are. You gotta scrub the fuck out ya hands, people. How many pounds do you want to lose? I'd rather not share a number, but a lot. What’s your favorite natural phenomenon? The Northern Lights. Do you snore? Very surprisingly for someone with sleep apnea like mine, I actually don't. How many people do you know with the same first name as you? Off the very top of my head, one, but it's spelled differently. I KNOW I know of a shitload more Brittanys, though. Is it possible you could be pregnant? Well, I haven't been intimate with a man in years and just finished my period, so like- Could you go a day without texting? I go most days without texting. Do you have a step-parent? My dad is remarried, so yes. If so, do you get along with them? She's EXTREMELY Christian, so her beliefs wildly disagree with mine, but I keep my mouth shut a lot just to keep the peace. She IS a very sweet woman, nevertheless, and am glad she and my dad are so happy together. Does your current/last job require that you wear a uniform? My last job (which lasted not even two hours lol) did. When will your driver’s license expire? My permit has been expired for like... two years. Do you live in an apartment? No. If the last person you kissed proposed to you what would you say? That's too wild a concept to even imagine. I'd probably ask if she was okay lmao. Would you ever get back with one of your exes? Weeeelp, I want to get back together with Girt. Pretty badly. Write a foreign word, and what it means: "Schadenfreude" is a German term that essentially means secondhand embarrassment, but it doesn't have a perfect translation. Is there an ex you think about everyday? Inevitably. That's PTSD, my friends. Who is the last person that you said I love you to, besides family members? Sara. What's the worst thing you have ever said to anyone? Something along the lines of "no one could ever love you like I do." It boils my blood just typing that; I considered even deleting this question. That quote right there is fucking manipulation, even IF I thoroughly believed it. Who was the last person to comment one of your pictures? I don't feel like looking. Do you tend to go for older or younger when looking for someone to date? It's weird, I'm into slightly older-than-me guys, but probably girls who are barely a bit younger than me. Have you ever been used? I don't think so. Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head? Like I've said in plenty of surveys: Jason is probably a permanent fixture. But also as of the past two days, Girt's been living up there. I went from "hmmm I just don't know how I feel" to "FUCK I want to talk to him about how stupidly into him I am right this fucking INSTANT" pretty goddamn fast. It kinda scares me just because of how extreme my feelings are. Again. That's only ever gotten me hurt. Buuuut let's not get into that. Have you ever got caught cheating on a test? No, because I've never tried to. Will your next kiss be a mistake? I hope it won't be. But it's not like I know the future. Have you ever worn an oxygen mask? Actually yes, when I was young and thought I was having an asthma attack or something. Mom had one for her own asthma. Then I obviously wore one for surgery. What song do you want to be played at your funeral? "Paradise" by Coldplay is absolutely #1. How many swear words are in the song you’re listening to? I'm not listening to music; I'm back to watching Gab play Sekiro. What color was the last swimsuit you wore? Black. Have you ever kissed anyone of the same sex, and if so, who? Yeah, just Sara. Who did you last tell to ‘shut up’? Ha, I think my WoW friend Lyndsey, but only playfully, of course. We pick fun at each other all the time. Would you ever get a tattoo of a boyfriend/girlfriend's name? NOOOOOOOOO. Are you one of those girls who already have baby names picked out? I know what I'd name my kids IF I actually wanted any, yeah, but I don't. Do you think guys with long hair are attractive? Yessss, I love long hair on guys. Are any of your siblings taller than you? I think Ashley is a liiiiil bit taller? I know my brother is, for sure. Have you ever scared someone so badly that they cried? Yikes, no. When was the last time you wore high heels? Boy oh boy, no idea. Is there someone that you want to hurt right now? Jeez, no thanks. What was the most interesting or colorful birthday cake you’ve had? I don't remember, but I'm sure something from childhood. What was the last thing someone bought you? Was it expensive? Mom bought me food from McD's, which obviously isn't expensive. Do you have any interesting moles anywhere you don’t want people to know of? No. Have you ever gotten high or drunk in a really formal place? Strong "no" there. Do you ever write poetry and post it on any certain websites? On the very rare occasion I write poetry and actually like it, I'll sometimes post it on dA. What do you miss most about your childhood? Actually, genuinely having fun and not dealing with fucking anhedonia. Would you like to know the precise date of your future death? Hell no. Do you photograph well? I'd like to hope so. Are there any animals you flat out refuse to touch? Maggots and similar bug larvae. What super power would you refuse, if it was offered to you, and why? Mind reading. It just sounds... awful and overwhelming. What’s your favorite discontinued product that you wish would come back? Oh, I KNOW I have answers to this, just none are coming to me immediately and I don't feel like sitting here for five minutes thinking about it. If adults had show and tell, what would you bring into work? My snek! :') If you had a reset button for the last 10 years, would you press it? Tempting, but... I don't think I would. I cannot go through how deep my depression was again. Who is someone you would never swear in front of? My nieces and nephew. Yes, I don't believe in profanity being a "thing" and is just a stupid human fabrication, but nevertheless I acknowledge societal standards and expectations, and they're way too young to get when you shouldn't say something like that and why. Have you ever won a contest or competition? A few. Who is your favorite TV character? I don't think I really have one? Do you coo over other people’s babies? Not really, no. Sometimes I'll think they're super cute and be like "awww," but I don't like... squeal and spaz like some people do. What is something that makes you very squeamish? VOMIT. Has there been a celebrity death that really affected you? Steve Irwin got me deeper than anyone else. Chester Bennington hit real hard, too. If you’re out of high school, have you stayed in touch with your high school friends? If you’re still in school, do you think you will? Most of my closest ones, yes, at least via Facebook. What’s a movie that you want to see? Old movie, but Jacob's Ladder. It was a massive influence on Silent Hill, so naturally, I'll probably love it. It's a classic, anyway. Do you use the same username everywhere online or do you have a lot? I use "Ozzkat" in most places, but I do have some other ones for different sites. Who was the last person you know who became pregnant? My friend Ana recently revealed she's expecting her second child, a boy. What fad were you actually into? I have zero clue. Have you ever tailgated? Would you want to? Fuck no. That's how so many wrecks happen. My sister legit got in a wreck with an 18-wheeler mostly because she was tailgating (which she does BADLY); she was trying to pass, and he moved over at the same time because he couldn't see her coming around. It's a borderline miracle she got out with only some cuts, bruises, and a seatbelt burn. Have patience, people. Get off cars' asses. Why did you fall for the last person romantically? Look, don't get me started on this. There are a shitload of reasons and I have been way too emotional over this the past few days laksdfja;lwke What’s the last thing you had to eat? A bagel w/ cream cheese for breakfast. Do you ever pick up your house phone? We don't have a landline phone. Truth be told, are you more into looks or personalities the most? Personalities, for sure. I cannot be into you if your personality isn't attractive.

[itsbenedict]

Two-Faced Jewel: Session 11.5

What Does a Moth Sound Like?

A half-elf conwoman (and the moth tasked with keeping her out of trouble) travel the Jewel in search of, uh, whatever a fashionable accessory is pointing them at. [Campaign log]

Last time: the party returned to Barley to deal with a few loose ends while their hired muscle dealt with the biggest, scaliest loose end. Between that session and the next, we had a brief mini-session to wrap up one of said ends we'd left unwrapped- what exactly is up with the Kanthalga family?

(Also included: a conversational omake between Looseleaf and Saelhen, pictured courtesy of @drazelic, Looseleaf's player.)

After their encounter with Kensa, Oyobi tries to talk the party into going to the tower and helping the Deathseekers kill the dragon. Her brilliant plan of "stab it in the brain before it can cast any spells" has some flaws, though, and they patiently explain the plan's many flaws and strike a blow against Oyobi's sense of invincibility.

They also ask Malath a few questions, trying to get to the bottom of her odd discomfort with the idea of the dragon as a culprit and the presence of Deathseekers.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: "When we spoke before, you asked us whether the dragon was green. I regret that I still cannot answer, as I have not seen it, or heard any news on the topic from the deathseekers. But you seemed... concerned that it might be a green dragon. Is there any reason that such a dragon might pose a particular threat to your town?" Benedict I. (GM): "Mmm. I don't know if you've heard, but... going on thirty years ago, there was a town to the east called Grain." "It was attacked by a green dragon, and the elders... as the dragon had words with them, they had to be remanded to the custody of their gods." Looseleaf: Oooh, that is harsh. Benedict I. (GM): "In the ensuing chaos, the miscreants who now inhabit Wheat set fire to the town and fled further east." "The survivors of the disaster fled west, and established Barley here." "If that same dragon still has its sights on our people, we could be in grave danger." "We refused to submit once, and it very nearly destroyed us."

As far as they can tell from their questioning, Malath isn't hiding any dark secret- she's just sort of a control freak, who's nervous that her control over the people might slip. Plus she's worried that if the dragon is provoked and comes to town, she- as the current elder in charge- might suffer the same fate as Grain's elders.

Saelhen... isn't satisfied with this. Something seems wrong about Malath Kanthalga- Thalath wouldn't try to enlist their help rescuing Kensa for no reason. She takes the party to the general store, in hopes of catching Kensa on her nightly delivery.

Kensa arrives as expected, but when she sees Saelhen there, she makes her delivery and tries to leave, rather than sit at the loom as is her custom. She seems afraid of Saelhen.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...I don't intend to keep you from your work. Though I did have a question I wanted to ask you, dear. If you'll permit me one." Kensa Kanthalga: "...A question?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Of a sensitive nature, possibly. Something vouchsafed to me by... someone you might know." Kensa Kanthalga: She looks less afraid and more confused, now. And after thinking a moment... "...oh." She actually looks a little angry, now. "That makes sense." "He sent you, didn't he?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: Okay, the conclusions she's reached here... may or may not be correct! "Under what I am starting to think may have been false pretenses." Kensa Kanthalga: "What did he tell you? Did he say I was being brainwashed?" "I don't need to be rescued from my duty by someone who abandoned his!" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "More a very general concern for your person than anything --" Ah, there's the word that raises her hackles, duty.

Having somewhat misread the situation, Saelhen is unpleasantly surprised to find that Kensa seems just as devoted to the teachings of Diamode as Malath is, and has no interest in fleeing. She seems contemptuous of her older brother on the basis that, uh...

Well, the Goddess of Family, who's all about having kids and living a very prescribed sort of life path inside strict gender roles, is- as might be unsurprising- a bit of a homophobe. The party never met Thalath's boyfriend (who works the night shift at Wheatley Inn- they never stayed the night there), but there are several reasons why the place isn't popular with the locals.

Saelhen is caught kind of flat-footed here- she can tell something's still not quite right, but she doesn't have the kind of cultural context to unravel this level of baggage.

Luckily, she brought along an ersatz cleric of Diamode, and so... Orluthe is able to spot the missing piece of the puzzle.

Orluthe Chokorov: Orluthe, in the back, has been looking increasingly uncomfortable. So far, he's had his stole and cap stowed away, so as not to be recognized as a cleric of Diamode. He's now taking them out and putting them on. "Hey, um, miss?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: Saelhen... legitimately forgot he had those. Kensa Kanthalga: Kensa turns and notices him- possibly for the first time. "Oh, ah- Mr., um..." Orluthe Chokorov: "Chokorov," he says. "I'm..." He holds up a hand, and points at a tiny circular scar around his pinky finger. "You have one of these, right?" Kensa Kanthalga: Kensa looks down at her hand, and you can see- yes, she has a matching scar. Saelhen du Fishercrown: Well. That's novel information about Orluthe. Religion check to... I mean, we know the finger-cutting thing. I guess a "what does this mean, it's not like these two have disowned anyone" check. 13 - RELIGION (2) Benedict I. (GM): With a 13, you know that only a parent needs to cut off their finger- but you're not sure what happens with sibling relationships. This might be something related- like you don't have to cut your finger off all the way? Some sort of signifier that the connection has been severed, though you don't know the finer doctrinal points. Orluthe Chokorov: "My older sister," he says. "Four years ago. We all had to get the mark." Kensa Kanthalga: "Wait, but..." Orluthe Chokorov: "You didn't want that to happen to you, too, right?" "You can't stand up to a power like that. You'd never win, right? If I tried to defend my sister, my parents would have two missing fingers." "You have to pretend, right?" Kensa Kanthalga: "Why... no, it's... I really...!" Orluthe Chokorov: "Feels that way, doesn't it? For a long time." Kensa Kanthalga: Kensa looks terrified- like for the first time, someone's seen right through her. Orluthe Chokorov:"It's not a betrayal of your family- of your duty- to... have love." "There's nothing in Diamode's teachings about the mark, you know? Neither of us had to take it." Saelhen du Fishercrown: ...well. That's a... new consideration. Kensa Kanthalga: Kensa's on the verge of tears, looking like she's about to bolt. "N-no, I- I really... want to... I have to..." Saelhen du Fishercrown: Saelhen is right back to Steal This Child Town. "...wait, do you seriously mean that the finger-cutting thing came after the scripture?" Orluthe Chokorov: Orluthe nods. "I mean, the finger-cutting is... it's a punishment. You're not supposed to disown your children. It's not like you can do it and then you lose the finger and then you're all square and it's fine." "And when parents scar their kids' fingers to make them share in a punishment for a sin they didn't commit... Diamode doesn't want that." "I should know," he says, gesturing to his vestments. Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...well. Thank you, Orluthe." Saelhen's face is hard. "I was previously under the impression that I had misunderstood a culture which is strange to me." "But now it sounds as if... I haven't, quite." Kensa Kanthalga: Kensa's makeup is starting to run. "What... what do you know? I- I wanted to... if I could've... I couldn't..." "What do you want with me?!" "I had to, okay? I have to!"

Orluthe having successfully exposed Kensa's fear and dissatisfaction with the situation, Saelhen proceeds to talk her around to trying to leave. It's pretty touch-and-go for a little bit, but Kensa's mind is made up when the party mentions that they're going to be passing through Corolos. Apparently, there's something there she really cares a lot about...?

So they're going to need a few days for Kensa to prepare to, uh, run away with a bunch of strangers. That's- this is technically kidnapping, right? This isn't something you should do in real life? This is kind of bad? Hm. Well.

-

Anyway, they've got some downtime here in Barley while the Deathseekers do their work and Kensa prepares to leave. And- well, later in the campaign, there was a flashback to this time period, so I'm going to cover that scene here.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: So: days in the past (but not many)... It's Cassie Zeishus's inn, and Saelhen is brushing up on her card tricks; she's let herself get rusty, just a bit, ever since she left... Well, since she got to Oyashio, anyway. She's cutting a borrowed deck at one of the inn's tables, downstairs, flicking cards from hand to hand, then up her giant poofy sleeves. Where's Looseleaf? Looseleaf: Probably sitting around outside, doing her whole 'fix-things-up' gimmick! After the early burst of things-to-fix, though, business has dried up a little. There's just not that many broken things left to fix that people need help with after a while! Saelhen du Fishercrown: Saelhen is... bored, she decides, for a reason. She can't evaluate how impressive her card tricks/cheating techniques are without a proper audience! She knows how they work already! So she leans out the door. "How goes the repair work?" Looseleaf: "It isnnnnn't," Looseleaf says back. "I think that there's not much repair work left in Barley at all!" "I've done too good a job and my business has dried up. This is why you never peddle perfect cures, innit." Abruptly, she gets up from the carpet she'd gotten Orluthe to roll out for her- the one from Lumiere's tower. "Boooored." She rolls it up. "I demand entertainment."

Saelhen decides to entertain Looseleaf by performing a card trick... and proceeds to roll a natural 1 on her sleight of hand check. She completely fucks it up, and Looseleaf- who had to be convinced to put money on the wager- earns herself a silver piece.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...I lost the card." "So I'm going to have to replace that for Cassie. On account of her deck being a card short." "Your card, specifically." Looseleaf: "Hhhhokay." "Wow, you're actually serious, aren't you." "I thought this was still part of the bit, but, if you're serious, you know the card's on the underside of your shoe, right?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "I just want to reassure you that I'm good at this, Looseleaf --" Looseleaf: "I thought you'd stepped on it because, y'know, part of the trick." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "No, I already checked there --" Saelhen finds the Hierophant stuck to her instep. There's a beat. Then she blushes furiously, in what looks like actual mortification. "Oh damn it." "I haven't done that since I was sixteen, what the hell..." Looseleaf: Looseleaf laughs. It doesn't sound like her usual laugh, and you can only tell it's a laugh because she's bowled over laughing. The actual sound of the laughter sounds like- trilling chirps with a hint of vibration, a distinctly insectile sound. "Oh gods," she says while somehow still laughing simultaneously, "that was- I'm so sorry about how much I'm laughing, Saelhen-" She's still moth-laughing. "Please understand that your status is no way diminished in my eyes and you are still every bit as much of the cool conwoman you always were in my eyes- oh my gods I'm going to die laughing."

Saelhen, intrigued, attempts to use her preternatural skill at impressions to try and copy the laughter, which Looseleaf finds freaky-deaky.

Looseleaf: "Yeah, if you really want to imitate mothspeech what you actually need are the standard instruments. Your throats are not cut out for the kinds of vibes we naturally talk with." "No offense- your throats are perfectly nice, I mean." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "I'm aware my throat is lovely." "What do you mean, standard instruments? Some kind of... pipe, or flute, or something?" Looseleaf: "The Standard Instruments," she says, this time with an intonation so that Saelhen can tell it's words with Capitalized Letters, "are... sort of like a flute, yeah, except instead of working like a woodwind it's more like, a bunch of little flutes with flaps of springy metal at the end, so when you blow through the flute the flaps vibrate and you get a sound that's way closer to the range of sounds we make, and it doesn't hurt your throat nearly as much. The Standard Instruments for imitation mothspeech." "Alternatively, if you knew spirit magic, we could have just taken you to the Archive of the Ever-Living Voice, but that's not really an option..." Saelhen du Fishercrown: Saelhen attempts to imagine this. "So, ten harmonicas glued together." Looseleaf: "Yeah pretty much." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...that last comment sounded alarmingly practical, in its concerns, Looseleaf." "Are you proposing to teach me, here?" Looseleaf: "How dare you imply that I would ever let slip the magical secrets of my people to an outsider who knows nothing of our ways or our culture why I am absolutely offended and ha ha I'm just messing around." "If you want to learn mothspeech," Looseleaf hesitates for a moment. "...Well, we should get started by trying to put together, as you put it, ten harmonicas!" "...Does this town have harmonicas?" Benedict I. (GM): This town totally has harmonicas.

So it looks like Looseleaf is going to be teaching Saelhen the language of the mothfolk!

Looseleaf hesitates, though. "...You know, learning mothspeech is- well, it's not likely to be useful, you know?" "There's, like, no chance you're ever going to get to really put it into use with anybody other than me." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...it is a bit obscure, isn't it?" Saelhen looks contemplative for a moment... then cracks a grin. "Which means that absolutely no one will know when I insult them." "Beyond their range of hearing, even! Oh that'll be such an easy way to blow off steam, dear, I love it."

After a shopping trip to assemble the device that substitutes for having moth mouthparts, they have a nice time bonding over linguistics. Building the thing is tricky, but... Saelhen gets a good roll!

Looseleaf:"...Y'know, trying to reverse-engineer an instrument just from how you saw it once is... more difficult than I thought it would be." Saelhen du Fishercrown: Saelhen expertly pulls two pieces together. "This and this, yes?" Looseleaf: "Yeah, make sure you leave extra length on the tubes- I don't know exactly how long they have to be so we might have to cut them down a little to fit... The day continues. Looseleaf teaches Saelhen a whole plethora of fun insults in mothspeech. Things like, "You must have had a hole in your cocoon while you were pupating, because your brain clearly leaked out during your metamorphosis." "Remind me what instar you are again?" And, her favorite of all, a surprisingly terse noun that apparently translates to "immature child who sticks two feathers on their forehead and thinks that means they have the antennae of an adult."

Saelhen manages to nail the pronunciation pretty quickly, and adds Mothfolk to her list of languages.

The conversation turns to Elvish (Looseleaf is shocked to learn that Oyobi has been being rude this entire time!), and Saelhen's upbringing in Kanzentokai.

Looseleaf is shocked by Saelhen's quick mastery of the language- and of Tabaxi, and Halfling, which are apparently languages she speaks.

Eventually, Looseleaf decides to make a wager with Saelhen. The stakes: if Looseleaf can fool Saelhen with a card trick of her own, Saelhen has to teach her Thieves' Cant. If she loses, she'll have to tell Saelhen how she did the trick- a standard "is this your card" situation.

Saelhen gets a 21, and Looseleaf then has to explain that she was able to track the card via... spirit-linking. Which she then has to explain she's been doing to the bracer.

Looseleaf: "I'm trying to use this as a, uh, lighthearted segue, to confess to the fact that I've soooorta actually had a tracking magic thing set on you, like, since we met." "I'm hoping that's not, un- discomforting for you, since you said, you liked the whole suspicion thing I had?" "But, yeah, uh, I was totally suspicious of you the whole time, and my first response to seeing someone I pegged as a conwoman trying to con the university out of a magic item was, to, put a tracker on the magic item." "Which is that bracer. I know the position of that bracer, at all times, as long as it's within ten miles of me; further than that, and I know the direction it is relative to me." "I'm coming clean because- well, I guess, we're friends now actually, and you should know about the fact that I'm technically tracking your movements. And also because I want to give you the option to tell me to fuck off with that shit, if you want to." "I think that keeping the tracker's still a good idea, on a practical level, though, because of the, uh, use-case, where, a scary badguy chops your arm off to take the bracer, like that way we could still get your arm back and get the bracer back and I'm also rambling because I'm nervous that this is the end of our friendship aha." Saelhen du Fishercrown: Saelhen has gone very still. Like the hackles-up bristling from earlier, except... a lot less movement. "......" Looseleaf: "Look, if you want me to turn it off I'll turn it off!" Saelhen du Fishercrown: And then she very deliberately settles back into motion, with barely even a little bit of shaking hands! Deep deep breath. "...you make a good point. "About the, bracer tracking." "I am..." "Fine, with it." Looseleaf: "Iiii am not convinced you are fine. You seem like you are in fact very emotionally distraught about it," Looseleaf says with caution. "I could... put a tracker on something that's not the bracer, for you to hold, of your own volition?" "Really, at this point, I'm less scared of you running off with the bracer, and more scared of something happening to you because of the bracer." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...with a condition." "Which is that you do not tell anyone that you can track things, or, if you have to reveal your hand, that you don't tell anyone that you can find me." Looseleaf: "...You don't want to be found, by... something or someone that wants to find you?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "In general, no." "...I'll tie something around the bracer. Or place a coin between my skin and its surface, or something. You can track that." Looseleaf: "Okay. I'll try my best to not tell anybody about my ability to find you. Except unless I have very good reason to believe that, I dunno, a dragon has abducted you and if I don't find help for you then you're dead, or something like that. Is that fine?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "That would be fine, thank you. And I forgive you for... the initial... situation."

It seems... Saelhen really doesn't want to be found, by someone. I wonder who?

Still, the two of them manage to talk the issue over like adults, and grow closer as friends- so that means everything is probably fine, there's no secrets anymore, and absolutely nothing else is going to go wrong in the town of Barley.

NEXT TIME: END OF DAYS!!! HOMICIDAL INTENT!!! THE SINISTER MACHINATIONS OF THE SHADOW-MAYOR OF WHEAT!!!

[flowerfan2]

One Night in Milwaukee - Ch. 5

I’m considering changing the title to “One Night in Milwaukee (and a week in Florida)...”  Enjoy and please reblog!

David x Patrick, 15k so far, A03

Chapter 5

David takes his time showering and doing his hair.  He had thought that his run would center him, but all it took was one quick conversation with Patrick to knock him off balance.  

He wishes he could put his own clothes back on, but since everything he brought with him is either in the wash or soaked in sweat, it’s not an option.  Tying a towel around his waist, he goes into the bedroom and looks through Patrick’s suitcase.  He allows himself a satisfying eye roll at the contents – the expected button-downs in shades of blue and green, jeans that probably won’t even fit David, and a few plain t-shirts and pairs of khaki shorts.  David sighs and selects briefs, shorts, and an olive green t-shirt, a nondescript fashion choice that would make his mother weep.  At least he’ll only have to wear them for an hour or so until his own clothes come out of the dryer.

He finds Patrick in the kitchen, hovering next to the island.

“I made eggs,” Patrick says, sliding a plate towards him.

“Thanks.”  The eggs are just like David likes them, with a sprinkle of salt and pepper, and a piece of toast on the side.  David recognizes the wheat bread he bought yesterday on his trip to the grocery store, somewhat bland but decent enough given the heaping of butter Patrick has spread on it.

They eat in silence for a few minutes, until the stress of it is too much for David to take.

“These are good.”

“It’s just scrambled, we didn’t have any cheese-”

“I can go to the store again, I didn’t know what you’d want-”

“You don’t have to do that,” Patrick says.  “You didn’t have to go in the first place.”

“So I shouldn’t have?”

“No, no, it was great that you did…” Patrick catches David’s gaze, and they both sigh.  “Why is this so awkward?” Patrick asks, taking their now empty plates and putting them in the sink.

“I don’t know, maybe because it’s been a long time, and things are different, and we both want everything to work out?  But there’s no guarantee.” David stands up and waves his hands at the neat little kitchen and the safe tan sofa with its blue and white pillows and the “Home Sweet Home” sign on the wall with an outline of the state of Florida.  He’s not sure he’s ever felt so out of place.  “And this is not somewhere I ever expected to be, and I really don’t know what to do with it.”

Patrick nods, that sadness coming over his face again, and it makes David want to strangle someone.  Not Patrick, never Patrick.  But whoever was responsible for taking his good, decent button and making him sad.

<i>It was you, you asshole,</i> his unhelpful brain tells him, and isn’t that just the worst.

“Want to see the pool?” Patrick asks, and although David can see it perfectly well from here, he figures it can’t hurt.  At least the screens will keep the alligators away.

They go outside, and the warmth of the sunshine surprises David. It’s gotten hotter even in the past hour since he was outside.  It may be late November, but this part of the world hasn’t gotten the message.  He wanders over to the pool and dips his toes in, then sits down by the steps in the shallow end and puts his feet in the water.

Patrick comes over and lowers himself to the concrete, David reaching out automatically to give him something to brace himself against.  When Patrick starts to put his feet in David stops him with a hand to his ankle, carefully rolling up one leg of his jeans and then the other.  David’s knuckles brush against the wiry hairs on Patrick’s leg as he neatly cuffs each pant leg.  He wants to roll Patrick’s shirt sleeves up, too, reveal more of his lovely forearms, but it seems a step too far.

“Thanks.”

“Wet jeans are an abomination,” David comments.

“Kind of like you wearing my khaki shorts?”  Patrick’s mouth quirks up in an attempt at a smile, and David’s heart lifts.

“Nice.  Just a few minutes again you said I looked good.”

The hint of a smile disappears, as David’s words fail to land the way he meant.  “I’m sorry, David, am I supposed to apologize for that?  I don’t understand why it upset you.  You do look good.  Clearly you’ve been working out – aren’t you allowed to be pleased with the outcome?”

David squeezes his eyes closed and leans his head back.  “Yes?  But…” He’s not sure how to explain it.  “It’s not about vanity, or, appearance.  I know that probably sounds fake, coming from me,” he opens his eyes and looks at Patrick, who is gazing back as patient and open as ever, “but it’s true.”

“Okay,” Patrick says, clearly waiting for David to fill in the blanks.  David had hoped a discussion about this particular part of his recent history could have been put off, possibly indefinitely, but it’s feeling like one of those moments when he’ll regret it if he brushes it off again.  And maybe opening up will get Patrick to do the same.

“I was pretty depressed, after we broke up,” David says, running the tips of his fingers through the water, watching the ripples spread across the surface of the pool.  “Couldn’t get out of bed, lost interest in everything… you know how it goes.”  He’s not sure Patrick does, but he can’t help but try to make light of it, as awful as it was.  It’s hard to really focus on those months, the drag of gray haze that wouldn’t clear.  “Eventually I started seeing a therapist.”

“You mentioned that,” Patrick says, and David relaxes a fraction, because he had forgotten.  Maybe this won’t be that hard, then.  It hasn’t chased Patrick away yet.  

“Right.  Well, he recommended a bunch of stuff to try, including exercising regularly, and I resisted at first-”

“Obviously,” Patrick says.

David glares up at Patrick, who’s got his best trolling face on, deliciously familiar, and suddenly spilling his guts doesn’t seem so embarrassing anymore.  “Anyway, once I started, it wasn’t so bad.  Despite what I once told you about running… it worked for me.”  That and laying off the alcohol.

“That’s great, David.”

“Well, Alexis says I just replaced one obsession with another.”

“Is that so bad, when it’s a healthy one?”

“You didn’t have to put up with me when I couldn’t go out for a run because of crappy weather, or inconveniently scheduled vendor meetings.”

There’s a hitch in the rhythm of their banter, and Patrick takes David’s hand in his.  “I wish I did.  I wish I was there.”

David feels his chest tighten, and he gives Patrick’s hand a squeeze.  “Me too.”

They sit there with their feet in the water, like little kids in a backyard wading pool.  There’s no breeze to speak of, but it’s not completely quiet.  The sound of the highway a few streets away provides a bit of background noise, and a weird bird keeps making a strangled chirpy sound from a hedge on the side of the house.  

David’s past encounters with Florida involved multi-million-dollar yachts, tanned supermodels, and free-flowing booze and drugs, not this strange version of suburbia.  He imagines this house sitting empty for most of the year, waiting for its owners to come and visit.  How many of the cookie cutter three-bedrooms in this neighborhood are empty right now?  How many swimming pools are noticed only by the staff who come by weekly to clean them and make sure nothing has crawled into the filters and died?

“This water’s probably terrible for your skin,” David says, and Patrick looks at him in mild confusion.  “Because of all the chemicals.”  

Patrick shrugs.  “I guess.”

“There are chemicals in here, right?”

“I don’t know, which would upset you more – the amount of chlorine dumped in here or the water being left in its natural state?”

David pulls his feet out of the water and stretches his legs to the side, the concrete warm on his heels.   “I’m honestly not sure.  But maybe we shouldn’t take any chances.”

Patrick stands up, leaning hard on David’s shoulder as he goes.  “Wait here.  I’ll be right back.”

David stays put, although now that he’s thinking about what might be in the pool water he wouldn’t mind rinsing off and applying some lotion.  Or some hand sanitizer.

Patrick comes back out of the house with an armload of cushions and drops them onto the lounge chairs by the other end of the pool.  “Come help me set these up.”

It only takes a moment to unfold the brightly patterned cushions and tie them into place (ah, there’s the Hawaiian floral, David thinks to himself).  While David is arranging the loungers to his liking, facing the sun, Patrick comes back with two bottles of water.  David twists off the top and rinses his feet while Patrick squawks at him.

“What?  Was that not what this was for?”  He tries not to smile.

“David.  That water was to drink.  There’s an outdoor shower over there.”  Patrick points to the side of the house, then seems to regret his decision.  “But don’t walk out there without shoes, okay?”

“What, will the baby alligators nip at my toes?”

Patrick grins at him.  “No, but the fire ants will.”

“What the hell kind of place is this?”

“It’s just nature, David.  As long as you wear shoes in the grass, you’ll be fine.”

“I feel like the state of Florida must have had some really good marketing professionals along the way.  Alexis should get a job with them.  They’ve managed to convince people that this pest-ridden swampland is worth something.”

“Arguably that is kind of what happened.  You know Disney World was built on reclaimed swampland, right?”

“I did not know that.”

“Anyway, this neighborhood isn’t all there is.  Give me another day to rest up, then I’ll show you around.”

Another day to rest isn’t really going to cut it, David thinks, watching Patrick wince as he eases himself down in the chair.  He wonders again what Patrick had in mind when he made his escape to the sunshine state, which brings them right back to the conversation Patrick keeps avoiding.

“Patrick, how long, exactly, are you planning on staying here?”  David asks, hoping that the direct approach might actually get him an answer.

Patrick stares up at the sky.  “I don’t know.”

Patrick’s hair looks like polished copper in the sunlight, but David tries not to let it distract him.  “How much time can you take off from work?” David presses.  “Or are you working remotely doing… whatever you are doing now?”

Patrick takes a long gulp from his water bottle, then stares at his feet.  “I’m unemployed.  I lost my job about a month ago,” he says bitterly.

“Oh.”  David is surprised, to say the least, especially by Patrick’s tone.  He’s always seemed like he would be the ideal employee, eager to please and determinedly hardworking.  “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Yeah.  Well, after you piss off a major customer, it’s hard to convince your employer to retain you.”

“It can’t have been that bad.  I don’t think I can imagine you pissing off a customer.”

“It was, and I did.”

“What on earth did you do?”

“Do you really want to know?”

David sits up and squints at Patrick, no longer enjoying the sun on his face. He doesn’t even have sunglasses with him, a major miscalculation. “Yes, of course.”

Patrick leans back and closes his eyes.  “I was working as an account manager at a software company.  It was boring as hell.  Sales, mostly, skating by with just enough technical knowledge about the product to capture the customer’s interest, and then serving as the liaison between the customer and the tech guys who actually knew what they were doing.  But I kept screwing things up, and when the customers would want to know why the contract didn’t have the terms they wanted, or why I was taking so long to get back to them, I just didn’t have the patience to deal with it.”

“That doesn’t sound like you.”

Patrick opens his eyes and looks at David, and he looks almost as bewildered as David is.  “No, it doesn’t, does it?”

David has the feeling there’s more to this story, but Patrick doesn’t elaborate, and all David really wants to do is give him a hug.

“You know, I have a feeling you don’t have an ounce of sunscreen on.  You’re going to be bright red if we stay out here any longer.”  David stands up and holds out a hand to Patrick, then slides his arm around his back to pull him up.  When they’re both upright, he loops his arms around Patrick’s neck and pulls him close.

Patrick presses his face against David’s neck.  “I’m a mess, David,” he says, his breath hot on David’s skin.  “I don’t know what happened to me.”

“I think we’ve both been a little lost,” David says, holding Patrick tight.  “But I know what will fix it.”

“Yeah?”  There’s an almost pathetically hopeful note in Patrick’s voice.

“Absolutely.”

“What?”

“Running.  Miles of it.  Every day.  It’s a miracle drug.”  David is struggling to keep up his serious tone, and not quite succeeding.

Patrick chokes out a laugh, pressing a hand against his ribs.  “I don’t think I’m quite up for running yet.”

“Well fine, then, you’ll just have to watch me do it.  It’s almost as good.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Patrick says, and kisses David soundly.  David hesitates for a second and then enthusiastically participates, and they are both breathing heavily by the time they pull apart.

“Not that I’m complaining, but what brought that on?” David asks as they go inside, the shade welcome after the bright sunshine.  He keeps a hand on Patrick as they go, not so much to make sure he doesn’t fall over but because he doesn’t want to lose this connection, now that he’s found it again.

Patrick takes hold of David’s waist, his eyes on David’s brighter than they’ve looked in days.  “You.  I thought I was dreaming, sometimes, remembering how much I liked you – loved you, too, but just fucking liked you.  But I wasn’t.”

“I’m the best,” David says, half-joking, but there’s a familiar happiness bursting inside his chest.

“You are, David.  You really are.”

[overfedvenison]

There’s this Traditional Architecture movement I see sometimes. It’s interesting to see it gaining traction. Personally, I’m pretty skeptical of them... But kind of in an optimistic way. I see potential here in their philosophy, even if I think it has some deep flaws I can’t quite articulate.... These guys also tend to annoyingly infest architecture resources, so by being an artist I see them a lot. And they’re kind of weirdly varied, from genuine movements to make streets more walkable to history people to weird politics people, and a lot that just seem to really hate modernism. But at it’s core, it’s got a few concepts. So I guess I’m trying to parse the core of what they’re saying, you know? To summarize the rather broad movement, I see a lot of the following from these Traditional Architecture people: - “Traditional architecture evolved to it’s environment and this is important to the quality of daily life.” ...There is an idea here that much of our modern architecture is over-reliant on technology and doesn’t consider enough the practical purposes of these traditional styles; such as tall ceilings in Southern architecture giving a cooling effect or the trees around the house dramatically reducing heat. Architecture, they say, should suit the local environment and tie into it in ways that mitigate environmental factors; this also makes it cheaper to maintain Additionally, they say that a majority of people find modern architecture styles disheartening; I don’t know how true this is, but it does seem like traditional stylings are more populist.   - “Our reliance on modern architecture and city design is unsustainable and we need to build for long-term sustainability” The idea is that modern architecture tends to be largely disposable, opposed to the more permanent buildings emphasized in traditional styles. There are roman ruins still standing, and some still functional, thousands of years later. But modern buildings are not really intended to last in perpetuity; this is both highly wasteful and also impersonal as many traditional styles are built to make maintenance easier There is a notable idea here about long-term sustainable living, I find this interesting because this is largely more of a right-leaning movement; they seem to use a traditional lifestyle as the basis for a sustainable lifestyle. It’s not like they think that alone is enough, but it’s sort of a reactionary philosophy in the respect that it thinks a proper respect and adherence to what has worked in the past is a good path to the future - “Architecture should be beautiful and something that inspires the people” So the short of it is that they want buildings that look nice, opposed to depersonalizing people. They say that modern architecture tends to devolve into a really depressing look once reality gets to it; I find it notable that even proponents of brutalism tend to call it a kind of ‘architecture of doom.’  The argument here is that architecture should, mostly, serve the people and not the architect. You want to build a -space- and not a -building- if that makes sense, and you want those spaces to inspire people. This isn’t without merit; you know the old idea that areas with broken windows are more likely to be vandalized? This is the opposite; if an area is beautiful, people will be more inclined to keep it nice. This also helps build a community, etc Now... I don’t really think this is exclusive to traditional architecture. A lot of people note that non-traditional architecture is just as capable of inspiring awe, and those people have a point. I think a lot of this sorta ties in to a respect for the past and tradition - “We should restructure society to be more ‘human-scaled’ as in the manner traditional towns evolved, instead of dividing things into clusters of residence and large mall centers accessible primarily by car. There should also be more communal areas in cities.” Right, I want to say right off the bat that this is one of the more utopian and radical ideals, here. But it’s rather core to the whole point, I think... So it’s like, a strong emphasis of the traditional architecture movement is to be ‘human-scaled’ opposed to built around cars. So they want like, fewer roads and wider walkways to encourage walking instead of driving; and, to this end there is more of an emphasis on human-scaled habitation - They do not want this city planning design where there is this area for commerce largely detached from a residential area ass connected by roads. Instead, they kind of want these clusters of communities centered around public spaces all pretty walkable; this is based on how old cities were before everyone had cars. And, they seem to really like trains connecting these communities. Thus, instead of these clusters of malls, you may have smaller shops all closer together and build around areas of public spaces So like... Imagine a park and local garden, and on a little sidewalk next to this park are small shops; say a bakery and some small grocery stores. Above the stores are some apartments. You can thus just kind of... Exit, walk over to the garden, get grocery shopping done, and walk home. It’s this kind of idea; this idea that no matter where you are in a city you should be in easy walking distance of whatever you need and that this should be attached to the local community A lot of the time they also want more trains as a method to connect these things, and point to Tokyo as an example of an impossibly large city that has managed to achieve a generally clean environment largely based off of these principles .... Uhh, I see a lot of people questioning modern city design, and in particular there are a lot of people opposing ‘lawn culture’ and the like as this inherently wasteful, nonsensical thing. So it’s sort of like, there are a lot of these opinions building up over the generations. I think the Traditional Architecture movement tends to get stereotyped as these weirdos that want society to be castles and wheat fields. There is honestly a lot of people who don’t think deeply, and it kinda just feels like they want to live somewhere pretty. But those that do delve into it beyond the traditionalist bend... bring up good points Now, I don’t think we should just let them all run wild with things; I find the Traditional Architecture people’s ambitions have some queestionable aspects at times. But I think it will kinda go hand in hand with those people questioning car dependency, monoculture lawns, seeking more bicycles in cities, seeking public transport support, and more progressive takes on sustainability as we move forward.  What’s my point, overall...? I have no idea. I guess I’m just trying to parse this weird movement I see cropping up. It’s something I see a lot that’s like, ‘Yeah, you make some good points,’ but I’m often left with this idea that something is not really thought through on it. I see a lot of people mocking it, but this traditional architecture focus... there’s some deeper ideas there, deeper than ‘I love tradition and greek statues and want a tradwife’ like we often dismiss this as. There are... A surprising amount of futures in fiction that tend more towards the ghibliesque. I think, this idea they have, it might be a nice world. A humanity that uses more traditional principals to live in harmony with nature... At least, it’s an interesting concept to think about. We should obviously do more than simply recreate the past, but then, that will come regardless.