#to put this character through absolute unimaginable hell physically and emotionally

[foundfamilywhump]

the question, you see, is not ‘is it too ooc for this character to cry’ but rather ‘what circumstances would push this character to cry’

this is the whump wisdom, go forth and make that character cry

[oshiawaseni]

Processing chapter 362

I just wanted to check in with the thoughts I have now on Kacchan’s situation. His fate won’t be updated for a few weeks so some people might be feeling a bit at a loss. I hope you find a little comfort from reading.

In the past few chapters Kacchan has been literally taken down to hell, his body twisted and tortured, mentally torn asunder by provocations that once would have stabbed him very deeply and had the core of who he is brutally attacked in a sadistic test that culminates in an unexpected (painful, potentially self destructive) quirk evolution.

But his moment to shine is far too brief, like a very fleeting sparkler that’s snuffed out as soon as it’s lit without getting any satisfaction of enjoying it and then his life supposedly ends, just like that. Without the person who admires his spark the most to witness any of this and gush to him about how much he loves him?

And instead, he’s all alone… leaving us with his heartbreaking desire to win and stay true to himself, to the person Izuku always saw in him, wondering if he has what it takes to keep up with him yet, just so he can faithfully stay and fight by Izuku’s side… and being denied that opportunity with a death blow? Bro. 😭

What we’ve seen in these latest chapters, generally speaking, is him being physically, emotionally and spiritually beaten to a pulp and hung out to dry. Have his entire life shredded up like the previous 360 chapters of character building never meant anything. He never got to have another, long time coming, awesome moment with his best friend or share his true feelings with Izuku and vice versa. They always showed their love to other people but almost never to themselves and I’m expected to believe that one-sidedness is also the way he’s going to go out? All unfinished? Like a prettily wrapped present that will never be opened? I shall impart with you some of the wisest and most ancient words that hail from the spirit of my people, an emphatic: Yeah, Nah.

He’s not done. This isn’t the end for him because his character has been dragged through hell and for what? Angering and hurting Izuku to weaken him is never going to be an acceptable reason to end his life. Kohei didn’t have him choose not to leave the village just to now throw bnha’s AND Izuku’s most beloved character under the bus with the most horrifying angst-filled end for him you could possibly imagine. I really don’t think so. Because all of this that I’ve been talking about? This seems far too sadistic and unbelievable to be all that’s left of Katsuki. It is completely unimaginable that this devastating nightmare he’s been put through is to be his legacy.

What we’ve seen so far is nothing short of disrespect to his character and what that means is we simply haven’t seen the complete picture. He, who breathes lifeforce into the word “victory,” still hasn’t won.

The 2nd movie with them fighting together comes to my mind like a beacon of hope that can’t be ignored. It tells me that while the real ending is going to be different, the essence at its core will be the same. Winning to save and saving to win: these two ideals, these two people’s hearts, merging together as one. This is how he envisions the bkdk climax. The two of them joining as one to become the greatest Hero that not only rivals All Might, but surpasses him. Katsuki said he would from his start line and I don’t care how down bad things appear to be right now, I believe him.

Izuku had made the mistake of trying to be too much like AM but fortunately Katsuki was always around to tell him, essentially ‘F* being like him or just as good, you damn well surpass him!’ And I think that’s what sets them both apart from Shiggy/AFO.

He talks like “Do you think that would be enough to hurt All Might” and has consistently made comparisons to him throughout the series like he only ever wanted to be good enough to go toe to toe with him. He’s completely stuck on AM being the absolute ceiling of hero excellency, the highest plateau of power that looks down on everyone else and that closed mind set limits his potential and will be his downfall.

He never had a Katsuki pushing, no, turning around to face him, taking him by the hands and pulling him into running plus ultra alongside him and their class mates.

Some quick final thoughts: Bakudeku triumphant ending yes. Fusion of ideals/body/spirit/hearts/mind yes. How this all plays out not really sure but reading and thinking of theories is fun and I’m sure that Kacchan’s going to be amazing when he kicks AFO’s ass with Izuku and very hopeful that his body will be healed somehow before the end (and his soul stuff returned if he has been yoinked to suit the stories purposes)❤️ ijou

[somethingjustsouthofbrilliance]

There have already been many reactions to the movie and a lot of them are probably much more coherent and eloquent than mine, but I felt the need to add my own (albeit jumbled) thoughts into the mix.

I get it, okay. I get what the Russos were trying to do. I get that they wanted to elicit a powerful emotional response from their audiences, gleefully hoping for tears.

 I did cry, I won’t lie about that.  But the emotion I felt most strongly was anger.  Anger and resentment.

 There are oh so many things I resent about this movie.

 I resent the fact that Clint, a character who went on a murder rampage, slaughtering countless of people (sure, perhaps not innocent, but still human beings) gets to go back to his family like nothing happened – happy faces, laughter and idyllic setting.

 I resent the fact that Thor, a character who had gone through so much growth and then suffered such immense loss, was turned into a pathetic, beer-bellied, unkempt, sniveling mess, good for little more than comic relief.

 I resent the fact that all these amazing characters were brought in for this epic fight scene only to be completely dwarfed by the scale of that fight.  To the point that their participation was of little to no consequence. I saw Valkyrie and T’Challa for, like, 5 seconds.  Was Shuri even there?  Carol’s role was so hyped up and then… she gets punched out?  What was even the point?

 I resent the fact that Marvel cannot hire a fucking Russian native speaker.  I don’t know what all Black Widow’s background is supposed to be, okay? I’ll give you that.  But if her name is Natalia Alianovna Romanova, then her father’s name is Alian, not Ivan.  Okay? That’s how Russian language works.  It’s called a patronymic.  “Alianovna” literally means “the daughter of Alian”.  Not Ivan, Alian.  If her father was Ivan, she would have been Ivanovna.  It’s as simple as that. And you can’t just get some random patronymic from a stranger, unless that stranger officially adopted you.  So, unless Natasha was adopted by this Alian guy, (which wasn’t in her backstory, as far as I know), then Alian is her father and she would have known that.  So this whole B.S. about her not knowing that her father’s name was Ivan is just that – B.S. Hire a fucking Russian native, Marvel. Stop being so cheap.  

 And now for the last two characters.

 I understand that the Russos are Captain America fans. I get it.  I recognize that they are so far up Steve’s perfect ass that they can probably see the world through his nostrils.

I should have learned my lesson with CACW, where America’s Golden Boy was allowed to disregard the value of every human life around him for the sake of his buddy and still be hailed a hero, while the guy who was putting everything on the line to keep his friends AND civilians safe got skewered emotionally, pummeled physically (by said squeaky clean hero) and got labeled a villain for all his troubles.

I should have learned then, but I didn’t, and that’s on me.  That’s why I find myself here now – angry, disappointed, but not surprised. Not really.

 But I still feel like the Russos failed Steve Rogers in a big way.  By writing him so completely, so utterly OOC.  And I’m not even talking about the utterly inconceivable scene where such a flawed character suddenly becomes worthy of wielding the Mjolnir (like, seriously? So, what, because he finally realized that Tony was right all along and decided to “fix” things, he gets to be worthy of it? If it’s that easy, shouldn’t pretty much every other character in that movie who was ready to sacrifice themselves for others have gotten the same honor? I call B.S., Russos, sorry).  No, what bothered me the most about Steve’s arc is how utterly anticlimactic and simple they made it in the end – tied up in an idyllic little package with a neat little bow circa 1940s.  Steve, the man out of time, the man whose only mission in life was to fight, who was perfectly at home in war and felt completely out of place in time of peace, who scoffed at Tony’s idea of quiet retirement… That man, that eternal soldier, whose only true peace should have come with self-sacrifice for the greater good, suddenly decides to get married and retire? To settle down in an alternate timeline and have himself a happy, idyllic life?

 I resent that.  I resent the fact that Steve got a happy ending that made absolutely no sense from the point of view of his character arc.  And, more than that, I resent the fact that the ending the Russos wrote for Steve is the ending that should have been Tony’s.

 Tony.  I remember reading all these pre-Endgame posts about how wrong it would be for the Russos to kill Tony off.  How unfair to his character, to the guy who wanted nothing more than to “go home”, to buy Pepper a farm and settle down there with her and their future children.  How entirely anticlimactic after everything he’s been through.  I remember somebody saying that it wouldn’t make any sense for the Russos to kill Tony, that they wouldn’t be so stupid as to try.

 Well, thank you, the Russo brothers.  Thank you for proving to everyone that you can, in fact, be that stupid. That you can take a character like Tony and ignore everything about him, forget everything about his arc, and cheapen all of it, all of his sacrifices, all of his struggles, all of his pain and suffering by giving him exactly what he always wanted and then ripping it all away from him because you felt that it made for a more powerful impact.  Thank you for showing, yet again, how little you know or care about Tony Stark.  That in your minds the only non-enhanced noncombatant human, who has been brutally tortured, plagued by PTSD, betrayed over and over, who has sacrificed  so much for the sake of others, and who has wanted so desperately to have a family with the woman he loves, doesn’t get to have his happy ending.  That all he deserves, according to you, is a few short years of happiness, a glimpse of what it might and should be like, but plagued by nightmares and guilt.  That all he deserves is to be guilted by his former teammates (who, lets face it, care about Tony Stark only insofar as what Tony can do for them – and once Tony refuses to help them initially they simply move on to the next best thing) into walking away from that life, into risking it all yet again so that others (like Scott and Clint and Steve… ) can get their own selfish need for happiness satisfied. That all he deserves after doing what’s right (yet again) is unimaginable pain and death.

 Thank you for that, Russos. May you rest in hell.

That’s it. That’s all I wanted to say. Sorry for the long rant.  I am now going to go and ignore the fact that Endgame happened.

[ao3-elle1991]

Which scene was your favourite to write in Fearless and Steve and Bucky's Kinky Alphabet? Which part of these stories was hardest to write? (~Wolfsdrache)

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR “FEARLESS” AND “STEVE AND BUCKY’S KINKY ALPHABET” BELOW

Read Fearless here.

Read Steve And Bucky’s Kinky Alphabet here.

Favourite scene to write in Fearless

Oh gosh, I loved writing this entire story; it’s so difficult to pick just one scene. If I had to choose a favourite chapter, it would be the final one. Drawing together all the different plotlines - Madame B and Tatiana and justice, Elena and James and grief, the Bartons and Phil and Steve and Bucky and the concept of family, Natasha’s own personal growth and values - and bringing them all together, was the most rewarding part of the entire 290,000 word story. Only in the final chapter do all the different strands come together, and in my opinion that’s the part that makes the whole story so satisfying.

Extract from scene:

The beach was small and made up of small pebbles rather than sand. It was a natural beach, miles away from anywhere, no man-made promenades or any other structures to spoil the natural beauty of the place.

Perhaps it looked a little bleak, now that the sun had gone behind a large bank of cloud, making both the sky and the sea more grey than blue, but to Natasha, it looked beautiful.

She allowed herself the luxury of sitting in the car for a couple more minutes, simply observing and appreciating the serenity and isolation of the little beach.

Sighing softly to herself, she pulled on her jacket and reached over to the back seat, gently picking up a bouquet of flowers.

The Barton children – Cooper, Lila and Nathaniel – had helped her pick them earlier that morning after the result of Madame B’s trial had been announced. The bouquet was large enough to fill her arms with a riot of yellow; the most beautiful buttercups and daffodils that they had been able to find in the meadow outside the Bartons’ farmhouse.

Buttercups because they were the flowers Natasha had given Elena during that glorious summer when Madame B had been ill, walking the hills around the Red Room Academy.

Daffodils because they had been James’ favourite flower, the flower that he had given her when he had caught her trying to break into his farmhouse aged 6.

The brightness of the yellow made Natasha suddenly remember James’ ridiculous yellow rain hat, enormous and wide-brimmed and far too large for him. Once, they had tried to fit both their heads inside, giggling helplessly at the absurdity of it all.

The stones crunched underneath Natasha’s shoes. She slowed her pace as she finally arrived at the sea’s edge, little waves of foam rising and receding gently around her feet.

The sea stretched out in front of her, huge and endless and simple.

Most difficult scene to write in Fearless

I’m the sort of writer who plans out every single scene in detail in advance before starting to write a fic, so I’ve therefore never experienced writer’s block or found a scene difficult to write from a writing point of view. In terms of which scene was most emotionally difficult to write, though, I think it was chapter 12, Lessons In Seduction. For Madame B to subject the girls to something so horrific is perhaps the moment we see the strongest of all just how cruel the Red Room Academy is, and how the girls are victims within its grand scheme. Out of respect for the characters and any people reading this who may be triggered by these themes, I won’t be including an extract here.

Favourite scene to write in Steve And Bucky’s Kinky Alphabet

Although I loved writing the entire story, the stand-out moment for me was Jarvis’ birth in chapter 25. Writing from Jarvis’ perspective as he experienced physical and sensory sensations for the first time was absolutely magical. It was the first time I’d ever written such a scene - full of awe at a new way of living and experiencing the world - and it made me cry when I wrote it. It made me think about how fortunate I am to be alive and able to experience the world with all my senses.

Extract from scene:

Before he knew what he was doing, he was running, running through the kitchen towards the wide open rectangle that led to the outside balcony. He burst over the threshold, skidding to a halt as he was hit by fresh air. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. The cool air filled his mechanical lungs, the taste of it tingling on his taste buds. It tasted wonderful. It felt wonderful.

He slowly opened his eyes, noting how much brighter the sunlight was out here compared to inside the tower. Colours were brighter and sharper, more vibrant. Sounds too, were different. Sounds were less echoey out here, less trapped than when inside an enclosed space.

Straining his ears, he realised that he could near new sounds. He could hear rumbling sounds and honking sounds and the revving of engines. Cars. Cars in the streets way down below.

Jarvis walked to the edge of the balcony and looked down. Far, far below, little cars trundled along the streets. He could see people too, walking along the pavements and riding bicycles. He suddenly pulled back from the edge, feeling dizzy and nauseous. Vertigo, he pondered? Yes, vertigo was a possibility, whilst he was still getting accustomed to balance.

To help quell the dizziness, he looked up. He gasped. The sun was rising up over New York City, bright and majestic. It bathed the city in a beautiful golden glow, illuminating the streets and the glittering buildings with its glorious hue. Jarvis closed his eyes momentarily, overwhelmed by the beauty of it, and that was when he first felt it.

Warmth.

Most difficult scene to write in Steve And Bucky’s Kinky Alphabet

Like I said before, the way I write involves coming up with an extremely detailed plan beforehand, so I’ve never found a scene difficult to write from a writing point of view. In terms of which scene was most emotionally difficult, though, I think it was probably the scene where JARVIS locked Steve in his bedroom whilst Bucky had a PTSD flashback in the corridor outside triggering Steve to have a panic attack. His suffering was difficult to write because I cared about the character; putting him through such an awful experience was tough.

Extract from scene:

Steve pressed his hands against the door desperately, tears slipping down his cheeks as a mixture of terror and grief exploded in his chest. Bucky was right there, just inches away on the other side of the door, suffering unimaginably, and Steve was trapped here, useless and wretched, prevented from helping by an AI hell-bent on therapy with zero regards to ethics.

“Open the door,” he choked out, curling into a ball on the floor as he tried to push his bloodied fingers under the door. He was lying in the vomit that he had thrown up earlier, but he did not care. “JARVIS, please, I have to help him.”

“You do not,” said JARVIS. “You do not have to assume responsibility for other people’s mental health. I am the therapist. That is my job, not yours.”