#topic: boundaries

[tayfabe75]

"I grew up with my parents being actors and that was kind of confusing enough - like, the concept of the meta, you know? I think I might've felt quite scared if my reality was distorted when I was younger."

March 2023: Matty and Caveh discuss the realities of subjecting one's children to meta performance art. (published July 30) (source)

[millenniallust4death]

I regularly receive messages like the ones from Anon. I woke up and decided today was the day to have a public conversation explaining how my blog works. Apologies to all of my mutuals for inflicting my irritation on your dash.

I just find it baffling to message a stranger on the Internet and ask them to modify their content because you find it upsetting. Even my actual friends don’t do this — we might talk about the post, but never once have they asked me to change what I choose to share on my blog. I think all of us have read a post against our will. That’s part of the Tumblr experience.

[gimpwithoutorgans]

“I’m so glad the show removed the incestual parts of Louis and Claudia’s relationship” ummm the emotional incest/enmeshment is still VERY much present. Claudia was selfishly created to fulfill the emotional needs that Louis’ partner could not. The incestual elements are baked into the dynamic Anne Rice wrote. Whether it’s romantic and/or emotional (I think the writers leaving out the romantic element for the show was a good call imo). They telepathically communicate while he’s fucking Lestat! Lestat sometimes refers to her like she’s a romantic rival! Louis wouldn’t recognize a healthy parental boundary if it hit him over the head!

Trying to remove any notion of incest from LouClaudia is like ordering a sandwich but saying “hold the bread”. You can do that! But it’s not really a sandwich anymore lmao.

[usertoxicyaoi]

found this super interesting. this person below is an acting coach and scriptwriter that's worked on/working on: kinnporsche (2022), only friends (2023), playboyy (2023) and mansruang (2023):

[rose-tinted-wool]

"Around his age... excuse me," Jouno smiles politely, "Do you, per chance, have a friend named Dazai?"

-- Jouno Saigiku (@huntingdogjouno)

Violet eyes narrowed at the male’s voice and Yuan’s chest rose in quick, shallow breaths. An icky, tingling feeling started at the tips of her fingers, spreading through her body like pins and needles as she turned to the strange man. Her skin felt hot— searing trails of fire creeping up the back of her neck, clouding her mind in a suffocating heatwave of panic and fear.

“Who are you?” She barked, a thin sheen of sweat forming on her forehead. She swallowed thickly and took a few cautious steps back.

[rueclfer]

Erm hai rue… I need ur advice !

I’m an aspiring writer and I loooove writing so much. It brings me so much joy knowing that people like what I write, however my writers block has been super bad lately. To combat this, I’ve been using chatgpt for ideas. I’m not making it write a whole fanfic, but I ask it for prompts and stuff. Is that okay?? I import my fics into the bot and ask how to finish it, or like I said, ask it for prompts. I just feel bad because writing is a creative outlet for a lot of people and I feel like I’m a complete poser.

You don’t have to answer, but I’d really appreciate if you did!

generative ai in any capacity is not okay and a fanfic is never worth the damage that it causes to the environment and to your integrity as a writer

aside from the poserness, it's important to realize that writing is a skill that has to be built and in order to build it you have to take the time and dedication to practice, study, and struggle. (the struggle is the most important!!!! you can't get better if you don't work around roadblocks!!! that is law!!!!!!) (you also need to take an extra step to reevaluate your relationship with writing if you find yourself doing it for the validation of the people more than for your own enjoyment)

i am a firm believer that in order to combat writer's block, you need to do anything and everything BUT write. -> read. watch a movie/show. listen to music. play a video game. go for a walk. journal. day dream. get out of your head and draw inspiration from other forms of media/art !!

there are also many resources and blogs dedicated to writing prompts so i encourage you research a bit

@creativepromptsforwriting -> this one i scroll through whenever i feel a bit at a wall but there's fr so many!!

[m1ckeyb3rry]

sometimes i’m like oh i was so evil in high school and then i’m like no i was 16 everyone who’s 16 is just like that

[coldfrcnt]

just a little reminder for the dash !! you are ALLOWED to have boundaries in roleplaying & people do not get to question those boundaries. you curate your own space & decide what you want in it !! if you are comfortable with something, you absolutely do not need to put it in your space !!

[cyber-therian]

ur cool as hell for setting and upholding your boundaries, btw.

[tayfabe75]

"As an artist, that element of compromise is kind of on you. As an artist, it's all very well, especially if you want to go deep and very, very meta, but if it's kind of infringing on people's right to not be an artist, or not take part in art, it's like- that's not something I would subject somebody to. I'm quite a spicy guy and I wouldn't be doing that. I like being an artist, I relish transgression, I'm suspicious of conformity - I get it, I get what you're doing, you know? But I think we were just talking about, you know, how far would I go? Or what do I value more?"

March 2023: Matty suggests that it "feels" right to value people above work. (published July 30) (source)

[corporatecoinings]

 “ high tech , low life … “

⚙️— LGITfuckedupic

A gender that feels as if Let’s Game It Out fucked it up himself.

⚙️— additional information

▷ coined by : Syntax ; if this has been coined before, consider it an alternative flag .

▷ tagging : @radiomogai . feel free to ask us to tag you

▷ copied from our web decor blog. \/

[all our decor is FREE to use with mandatory credit ! (unless we state in the post if something is exclusive otherwise) . “credit to op” or similar statements does not count as credit .

recolors = not okay! uploading our decor to archives or web resources = okay! recoloring our decor = depends on the post! reposting our decor anywhere = please ask for permission! directly tagging us as credit = okay!]

“ ... the city of dreams . “

[Nemesis protects this blog.

Anyone can use our labels, unless there is a listed reason to be exclusive. (and if there is, please respect that!) We are pro-endo, anti-radqueer, anti-transid, and anti-proship. We heavily prefer that radqueers and transids stay away from us / do not interact due to personal reasons. Respect our boundaries or we will block you. 

Please do not repost without our permission, “recoin” our labels, or steal them. Feel free to ask us to tag you in posts!

“Trolls” and anti-mogai fuck off]

[aloeverified]

daring being the equivalent to a pg-13 fuckboy was really funny, but i think it would've been so sad and compelling if he geniuely was in love with apple.

they know they're destined to be together, they grew up together and have talked about their relationship many times. they agreed to not date until their destiny takes its course, as apple is paranoid about messing with their story and doing anything ahead of time.

daring sees how hard she works and how far she goes to strive for perfection; following ever task her mother gives her, always being ontop of her studies, never missing a chance to be kind and help others. she inspires him to do the same; topping his sword-fighting classes, using his strength and athletic skills to help others, always seizing the chance to save the day and protect others.

daring falls more and more in love with her each passing year, whereas apple just keeps waiting for the feeling to come to her. she reasons that she doesn't feel anything for daring because he hasn't awoken her from her coma and swallow her worries.

many people still fall for daring, but he tells them his heart is taken and his destiny is sealed: apple white is the only girl for him, and it's his duty to stay loyal to his future wife.

perhaps apple even visits the charming kingdom often, under the guise of spending time with her future in-laws to get away from the heavy pressure she faces at home. she grows closer with darling during these times, who admires apple and her ability to be satisfied with the royal life and expectations she has as a princess.

i think daring could still have a few small and tender moments with other girls, such as his admiration for cerise — but he does his best to push those feelings aside, maybe even feels guilty for them.

it's only after he fails to awaken apple in dragon games, where he is able to start his process on moving on. he agonizes over not being her prince, as it changes everything he knows: his destiny, his true love, and even the fact that he would participate in an out of destiny romance (something so taboo to a royal such as himself).

when finally given the chance to do so, daring asks apple if she loves him — if she ever had or ever could, in the same way he loves her. they have a long conversation, one that ends with both of them in tears. apple does daring, but she's not in love with him. she's always known there was something different about her when she didn't long for her prince charming like other princesses did, and now thanks to darling, she knows why.

daring learns how to move on. it's a tedious process, and one that hurts, but he moves on. and so does apple. he still loves her, and she still loves him. only now, they also love themselves.

[gay--dog]

ive seen the button on the left around a lot on furry websites & i decided to make my own version,, mostly just did it cause i was bored :P

my version is f2u no credit needed (as usual). and i dunno about the original, but considering i dont know; its probably either f2u or no one has ever credited the original for some reason lol

[gfthe-fearsome-foursome]

Hey Stan... did your father ever... did something physically with you?

"I guess? I mean, Ford an' I used to get smacked halfway to Timbuktu for pullin’ some insanely wild shit. Like… one time we almost set a whole damn building on fire just messin’ around. So yeah..."

"It usually didn’t get worse than yellin’ and dishin’ out threats, though."

[snezfics-n-shit]

[thesophistiicate]

im not trying to act all high and mighty, im just genuinely confused by this... i truly dont understand girls who allow themselves to be put in degrading situations the same as the last anon? surely its glaringly obvious that man just wanted a body to use? i know i sound so mean but im genuinely actually confused whenever i hear or read girls talking about experiences like that i find it very hard to understand what would make them give the most undeserving men access to their bodies and souls like that... i can kind of understand if you sleep with a man for the first time and he treats you badly after but what i dont understand is going back again and again and expecting a different result. at that point maybe youre a little to blame as well? why would you even sleep with someone who youre not even in a relationship with? im just very lost i thought by now we all know better than to give just anyone our time. i see this even in my girl friends, theyre all so beautiful and intelligent yet they date terrible men that shouldnt even be allowed to breathe the same air as them and when they inevitably cheat or hurt them they genuinely get heartbroken and then they start to tell me about things the man has said to them and show me their text conversations and in my head im like "hes telling you right there in that message that he doesnt care about you..? what did you expect..?" sometimes it feels like girls get into situationships and relationships just to get themselves hurt on purpose because, and this is gonna sound so mean but i dont know how else to word this, but theres no way people can genuinely be this blind and stupid. i just find it so hard to feel sympathy for girls who numerously get shown and told theyre only being used for sex and still stick around for a different outcome. is that what love supposed to be? am i the one with the twisted understanding of love? am i missing something? i hope im not coming off as heartless or conceited, im genuinely confused i just dont know how to express or word it well

i'm happy to hold space for expressing thoughts imperfectly or even harshly, so long as we are willing to find understanding and not stay stuck in judgement 🤍 i would say the challenge for you here is learning to stay out of judgement (it is all right to acknowledge that's not how you would act, but attaching value statements and labels like 'stupid' don't help you be kind and don't help anyone else thrive either), and leaning into empathy (finding understanding when someone acts in a way you wouldn't, rather than judgement and frustration).

i say this as someone who used to be really judgemental, not to tell you off, but because it's so good for the soul to learn this growth. judgement and labels are easy, it's far more difficult to build the emotional intelligence to hold space for nuance and complexity, to extend compassion and nurture even when somebody is making imperfect decisions.

i think that you're someone with a really good level of self worth and self respect who cares about others too. that's so amazing! the best thing you can do is continue to hold your standards and lead by example. you aren't the one who has it wrong at all. healthy, respectful relationships aren't like this! keep your standards high, show your friends examples of high standards. as much as it will feel like they aren't listening, sometimes a simple, fairly neutrally toned: "wow, you deserve better" or "geez, i wouldn't put up with that" or "that's not normal" will linger and have more long-term impact than you realise.

i know it's easy to look in from the outside and say, can't you see it?! he just sucks!! or to look at the end of a crazy story and be like, girl, there was SO many red flags wtf!! (lol me at my past self!) but when you're in the middle of it, it's actually really hard. these people are master manipulators and they know how to keep their victims hooked. love bombing, mixed signals, disrespectful treatment to lower self worth... it's a wild ride inside the storm, you simply cannot see clearly because they are committed to obscuring the view.

at the core women get themselves into these situations because of low self worth. it's why i talk about it ALL THE TIME, it's SO CRUCIAL. when you don't value yourself, you put up with being disrespected. the more you are disrespected, the lower your self worth drops and the more bad treatment you accept. it's a toxic cycle. it's the exact same dynamics as in any abusive or domestic violence scenario (even if the relationships aren't abusive and he's just casually disrespectful - that is the beginning of abuse), and it's pretty well researched why women stay, how they get in those situations, why they find it difficult to leave, why the cycle keeps repeating with new partners. i'd highly recommend researching it if you want to understand it better. every woman should be educated on this topic.

you are right to some extent: if you want to get out of the cycle you do have to take responsibility for your own behaviour. you have to ask why you're accepting being treated that way. what led you there. why you are obsessing over their behaviours but not questioning your own.

but to confront all this is very difficult and painful and often related to trauma and neglect. yet another reason why so many can't escape the cycle, to face all of that can be more painful than putting up with a shitty guy who just wants sex without commitment... the crap treatment is easier to face, until it isn't.

it is a form of self-harm, a kind of self-destruction as a way a broken mind and spirit tries to cope with trauma. to end the relationship would be to limp out and finally confront how broken you are. when you stay in it you can stay delulu. it's a form of escape.

of course, to a healthy person it doesn't make sense. why would anyone ever willingly hurt themselves? and yet, it's a psychologically observable phenomenon and unfortunately the solution and path to healing is far more complex than just not doing that or getting into those situations. if only!!

but the way out DOES involve making a decision that you deserve better. which is why we need to keep talking about these things, bringing them to light, being compassionate, creating safe spaces for women in these relationships to talk about what they're experiencing without judgement, shame, being called stupid or asking for it etc 🤍

i could speak for a long time on this, but i'll leave it there for now... it's all right to not understand it. i actually think that's a good thing in a way, it means you're in a good place. but certainly if you really want to understand it, the research is there!