#tough questions with no right answers
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Person A: "If there was an alternate version of me, who was basically the same, would you love them?
Person B: "I'd rather you ask me if I'd love you as a worm."
#tough questions with no right answers#writing#writerblr#writeblr#writer on tumblr#writblr#writer things#dialogue prompt#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity#writers#writers of tumblr#dialogue inspiration
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QUIZ —?!

KAGAMISCHIEF ALERT!!!
uh oh!! it seems rin and len are bypassing quiz rules!! the following question has not been outright answered on the blog.
#the correct answer will be posted after the poll closes!#the kagamines cooked up quite a tough question…will you guess it right?#just rely on your luck (ww)#arcade sekai#arcade rin#arcaseka quiz#pjsk#pjsk au#project sekai au#prsk#proseka#project sekai#prsk au#colorful stage#pjsekai#puroseka#hatsune miku colorful stage#prsekai#prjsk#prosekai
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Top 5 Arthur episodes?
D.W. Goes to Washington: It's a very close race between this one and #2, but I gave the edge to this one because almost every line here is classic. It's full of hilarious Imagine Spots and great D.W. zingers.
The Rat Who Came to Dinner: Another episode that's full of great jokes. The dynamic between Ratburn and Arthur's family is comedy gold.
The Contest: The pastiches of different animation styles alone puts this one in the top five, but it's also in service of some wonderfully absurd mini-stories with classic jokes. ("My brain was on cruise control" is the Arthur quote that gets the most use in daily life).
Buster Hits the Books: The pastiches of the different books are hilarious.
Arthur's Almost Boring Day: I had a very tough time choosing the fifth episode. I went with this one because the fighting between Arthur and D.W. reaches a hilarious fever pitch that goes beyond any other episode.
#answered asks#arthur#arthur pbs#lady-merian#this was extremely fun#and also surprisingly tough to answer because there are tons of episodes that have classic jokes#but it's harder to pinpoint which is the best overall episode#'the blizzard' (the ep paired with 'the rat who came to dinner') totally would have made this list if it weren't for the ouija board joke#my brother (i put this question to him one day) lobbied for the musical episode#which does have a lot of good bits but i had a tough time awarding the fifth spot to something written by That Man#'arthur's almost live not-real music festival' was a contender#but even though the songs are great as an episode it's not as compelling as some others#also when trying to settle on the fifth entry i skimmed through the wikipedia list of arthur episodes#and looking at the list that way#with the writers listed in a column right next to the episode names#individual styles become VERY clear#joe fallon goes for chaos (though he's got a lot of surprisingly tame ones)#kathy waugh has a certain type of heartfelt sentiment#there's a sandra willard who i never noticed on title cards before#but seeing her in the list she has a very distinct style#a sort of off-beat quirky sentimentalism#That Man actually has some really strong episodes early on#but as the seasons go on you see more and more of the preachy Very Special Episodes and they are all his#also going through the list that way reminds me of so many great bits across so many episodes
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Help. Calculus 2 is under my bed
#its only fun when you solve stuff right#and like when you dont tough luck youre not gonna find someone solving the question you only have the answer to and not the whole process#organic chemistry tutor didnt even have it
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top 100 women perhaps?
Gods willing, anon. Gods willing.
#aaking top/favorite people i know is a tough question especially right now sadly....#you can ask but itll be difficult for me to answer
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Personal Problem Meme: This is also a question to Ochako. How do you handle expressing the negative sides of yourself? Like, you're well known for being open minded, but you have tendencies to be close minded. Most people tend to have a negative trait to their positive trait that reflects each other.
Send a personal problem on anon and my muse will answer
Ochako pouted at first and turned her head to the side, wondering if she really had this trait in her but for the sake of the question, she tried to give an answer. "I...don't know actually. I think, it's just about trying to realize that expressing them is the first step of accepting them and possibly making them less prominent. But I don't think I could speak for myself because, well..." she trailed off.
"...I don't like thinking about them at all? Oh, look at the time! I've got a training session with Aizawa sensei!" And then she was off!
#anon#answered ask#tough question ngl#sorry about Ochako#though some negative traits she doesn't handle them right#and she knows#others are just how she is and sometimes shes not aware unless someone points it out#i hope the advice she gave was at least somewhat useful ^^'
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ma'am
Joel Miller’s spent a lifetime in control, but under your confident lead, he’s discovered just how good it feels to let go. As your right-hand man in Jackson, he’s desperate to please, finding himself worshiping you in ways he’s never dared before—and loving every filthy second of it.
Warnings: MDNI, 18+, sub!Joel, dom!f!reader, oral (male and female receiving), nipple play (SUCKING JOEL’S NIPPLES like he deserves), premature ejaculation, dirty talk, praise kink, begging, desperation kink, Joel whimpering, explicit sexual content, mutual devotion, protective partnership, reader is emotionally supportive but firm, Joel finds comfort in being cared for (he’s babygirl) and Joel being so far gone it’s frankly adorable.
11k. enjoy.
part two: after hours
· · ───────────𖥸──────────· ··
Joel Miller had always been the guy people turned to when things needed fixing—whether it was a busted fence, a tough decision, or clearing out a horde of infected, he was the dependable one. The solid one. The man who got things done without flinching.
But with you, it was different.
You weren’t like anyone else in Jackson. You’d arrived last winter, stepping into the town’s bustling life like you’d always belonged, and somehow, you’d made it your own.
People respected you—trusted you—not because you demanded it, but because you commanded it. You were sharp, resourceful, and unshakably confident.
Joel couldn’t decide if you reminded him of a soldier or a queen, but either way, it made his chest tighten every time you spoke.
It started innocently enough.
“Joel, we need these supplies moved to the north gate before sundown,” you said one day, standing by the depot, that calm, no-nonsense tone that made Joel’s stomach flip.
“Yes, ma’am,” he replied without thinking, the words slipping out as easily as breathing.
You’d looked up, a flicker of amusement in your eyes. “Didn’t peg you for the ‘yes ma’am’ type,” you teased lightly, your lips curving into that small, knowing smile.
Joel had flushed, shifting on his feet like a boy caught stealing. “Guess it’s just… habit.”
You didn’t push, just nodded and turned back, but Joel couldn’t get the moment out of his head.
Something about the way you spoke to him—firm but never condescending, confident but never overbearing—lit something inside him he hadn’t felt in years.
Respect, maybe. Or something deeper, darker, and far more dangerous.
The more months you worked together, the worse it got for him.
“Joel, grab the shotgun and cover me,” you ordered one day, crouched behind a rusted-out truck as infected skittered through the woods ahead. Your voice was steady, even in the heat of the moment, and Joel’s chest swelled as he followed your lead without question.
Another time, while patrolling the perimeter, you had said, “Check the west side at dusk. Let me know if anything’s out of place.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Joel had answered automatically, his voice softer, almost reverent.
You didn’t always notice how easily he fell into step with you, how much he craved the way you trusted him to follow through.
But Joel noticed. Every damn time.
And it wasn’t just respect—though that was there too—it was something raw and magnetic. Something that made his chest tighten and his cock stir in ways that left him fumbling for composure.
It wasn’t just the way you spoke. It was the way you carried yourself. The way you moved through the world with confidence that was effortless, never forced.
You weren’t trying to prove anything to anyone—you just were. You called the shots when they needed calling, and people listened, not because they had to, but because they wanted to.
Joel wanted to. And more than that, he liked it.
One night, it all came to a head.
Jackson was quiet, the streets bathed in the soft glow of lanterns strung between buildings. Joel was walking back from the stables when he spotted you on the porch of the town hall, a map spread across the railing in front of you.
The way the light hit your face, catching on your jawline and softening your features, made his chest ache.
“Joel,” you called, your voice slicing through the stillness like a blade.
He froze for half a second before making his way over, his boots crunching softly on the gravel.
His pulse quickened as he got closer, his eyes darting over you—your loose hair falling over one shoulder, the curve of your wrist as you held the edge of the map, the faint furrow in your brow that he desperately wanted to smooth away.
“Everything alright?” he asked, his voice rougher than he intended.
You glanced up, your eyes meeting his. “Come take a look at this,” you said, motioning him closer.
Joel stepped up beside you, his shoulder brushing yours as he looked at the map.
The faint scent of soap and leather lingered on you, and Joel had to force himself to focus on what you were pointing at—a marked spot near the riverbank.
“Been seeing signs of movement out here the past couple nights,” you explained. “Could be nothing, but I want to clear it tomorrow. Need someone to back me up. You in?”
“Always,” Joel said immediately, his voice quieter than he intended but no less firm. His fingers brushed yours as he took the map, and he swore he felt a spark.
You smiled then—just a small curve of your lips—but it sent heat rushing through Joel’s chest. “Good. Be ready at dawn.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Joel murmured before he could stop himself.
Your brows lifted slightly, amusement flickering in your expression. “You don’t have to keep calling me that, you know.”
Joel rubbed the back of his neck, his cheeks warming. “Can’t help it,” he muttered, his gaze sliding to the ground. “Suits you.”
Your smile widened just enough to make his heart stumble. “If you say so.”
With that, you folded the map, tucked it under your arm, and disappeared into the town hall, leaving Joel standing there like a damn fool, his chest tight and his jeans uncomfortably snug.
He swore under his breath, adjusting his stance in a futile attempt to ease the ache building low in his belly.
It wasn’t fair.
The way you got under his skin without even trying. The way you made him feel… lighter and heavier all at once.
Joel had spent his whole life being the one people leaned on, the one who carried the weight, and for once, he didn’t mind letting someone else take the reins.
Hell, he wanted to.
He wanted to follow you, to listen to you, to give you every ounce of control you asked for.
Joel stayed rooted to the spot, staring at the closed door of the town hall long after you’d gone inside.
His pulse pounded in his ears, the ache in his jeans growing unbearable as his mind replayed the last few moments—the way your voice curled around his name, the subtle command in your tone when you told him to be ready, the approving smile that lingered on your lips when he’d answered.
It was ridiculous, he thought bitterly, rubbing the back of his neck. He was a grown man, for Christ’s sake, and yet here he was, rock-hard in the middle of Jackson like some lovesick idiot.
His cock throbbed against the tight denim of his jeans, a constant, humiliating reminder of how badly he wanted you—how badly he needed you.
Joel swallowed hard, adjusting himself as subtly as he could manage, though the motion sent a shiver of frustration through him.
This was nothing new.
Every time he was around you, it was like his body betrayed him, reacting to the sound of your voice, the sway of your hips, the smallest flick of your wrist as you gestured for him to follow.
He couldn’t stop thinking about it—about you.
The way you carried yourself, confident and composed, made his chest tighten in ways that were equal parts admiration and raw, aching need.
You were everything Joel wasn’t. Steady. Collected. In control. And fuck if he didn’t crave that about you.
More than anything, he craved the way you made him feel. Like he could just… let go.
The thought sent a fresh jolt of arousal straight to his cock, and Joel bit back a groan, his hand clenching at his side.
He’d spent years—decades—being the man people turned to, the one who handled the tough shit without complaint.
But with you? He didn’t want to be the guy in charge.
He wanted to be the one following orders, wanted to be the one looking up at you, waiting for your approval.
He wanted to make you proud.
To hear you say his name the way you had earlier, with that faint hint of amusement, like you saw something in him that no one else ever had.
Goddamn it, he was pathetic.
Joel shook his head, muttering a low curse under his breath as he turned away from the town hall.
The walk back to his house felt like a blur, his thoughts too tangled to focus on anything but you.
Every step sent a dull throb through his cock, and by the time he reached his front door, his hands were trembling, his jaw tight with restraint.
Inside, Joel leaned heavily against the door, the cool wood pressing into his back as he exhaled shakily. His chest rose and fell in uneven waves, the pounding of his heart loud in the stillness of the house.
The faint creak of the floorboards beneath his boots reminded him he wasn’t dreaming, though he almost wished he were—wished the memory of you wasn’t so vivid it set his whole body on fire.
His jacket slid from his shoulders and hung limply on the hook by the door, but the ritual did little to calm him.
His hand lingered against the fabric, fingers gripping tightly for a moment as though holding on to it might anchor him. But there was no escape—not from the way you lingered in his thoughts, the way your voice echoed in his ears like a melody he couldn’t shake.
C’mere, Joel. I need you to check this.
C’mere, Joel….
The words played on repeat, the confidence in your tone, the subtle curve of authority behind every syllable.
The way you’d glanced at him tonight, your eyes catching his for just a second longer than necessary—it was enough to drive him insane.
Joel groaned softly, the sound rough and guttural as he pressed the heel of his palm against the stiff, aching bulge in his jeans.
“Jesus,” he muttered, shaking his head as if that might clear it. But it didn’t. It never did. He’d thought about you like this too many times to count.
Late at night, alone in the dark, his fist slick and tight around his cock, imagining you leaning over him, your voice a breathy, commanding whisper.
“Good boy, Joel. Just like that.”
It was the praise that undid him every time, the approval he ached for, that soft edge of control in your voice that made his chest tighten and his hips buck into his hand.
Joel’s teeth dug into his bottom lip as he pushed off the door, his steps hurried and uneven as he made his way toward the bedroom.
His body was hot, his skin flushed as he kicked the door shut behind him and leaned against it, his breath coming fast and shallow.
He didn’t bother with the lights. There was no point when the image of you burned so brightly in his mind.
His hands fumbled with his belt, the leather sliding free with a sharp hiss before he shoved his jeans down his thighs, kicking them aside.
His cock sprang free, thick and heavy, the tip already glistening with pre-cum.
Joel wrapped his calloused fingers around himself, his rough palm dragging slowly along the length as his head tipped back against the door.
A soft, broken groan escaped his lips, and he tightened his grip, savoring the sharp sensation.
“Yes,” Joel whispered hoarsely, his hips jerking into his hand as the thought took hold.
The image was so vivid it made his knees weak.
“On your knees, Joel. Let me see how much you want it.”
He imagined you standing over him, your hands on your hips, your lips curved into that wicked, knowing smile.
You’d look down at him like you owned him, and Joel would crumble beneath that gaze, his body desperate to obey.
His hand moved faster, his strokes rougher as his chest heaved. “Fuck,” he muttered, his voice thick and broken. “I’d do it. Anything you want, darlin’. Just… just fuckin’ tell me.”
And then, there was the fantasy he couldn’t shake. You’d guide him down—your fingers tangling in his hair, pulling just hard enough to make him hiss as you tilted his face up toward yours.
“You want to make me feel good, baby? Show me.” You’d press his face between your thighs, your warmth surrounding him, and Joel would lose himself.
He could almost feel it—the softness of your skin, the slick heat of your cunt against his lips. His tongue would trace slow, deliberate circles around your clit, savoring the way your body trembled beneath his mouth.
You’d moan his name, your voice breathy and broken, and it would be the only thing he cared about.
Joel groaned loudly, his hips jerking off the door as his hand tightened, the slick sound filling the room. ���Please,” he rasped, his voice shaking. “Please, darlin’. Let me be good for you. Let me—”
He imagined you grinding against his face, your thighs clenching around his head as you guided him, demanding more. “That’s it, Joel. Just like that. Don’t stop until I come, baby.”
The thought of your approval, of hearing you call him a good boy as he worked tirelessly to please you, made his cock throb painfully in his hand. “I’d do it,” he muttered hoarsely. “I’d fuckin’ worship you, darlin’. Just say the word.”
The tension snapped, his body locking up as his release hit. Hot, thick spurts spilled over his hand, his voice breaking into a low, guttural groan as his hips jerked helplessly.
Your name fell from his lips, raw and reverent, as the pleasure coursed through him, leaving him trembling and spent.
For a long moment, Joel stood there, his chest heaving, his hand still wrapped loosely around his softening cock.
The air was thick with the scent of his arousal, the evidence of his need dripping onto the floor, and yet all he could think about was you. Your voice, your smile, the way you made him feel like he could let go of everything and just… be.
Joel swallowed hard, his jaw tightening as he finally pushed off the door and reached for a towel.
He cleaned himself up quickly, his thoughts still tangled, his body still thrumming with the remnants of his release. But even as the tension faded, the ache lingered—the desperate, aching need for you.
For your voice. For your touch. For your approval.
And Joel knew he’d never stop wanting it. Never stop wanting you.
Because this wasn’t enough. It would never be enough. Not until he had you.
Not until he could hear you say his name the way he’d always dreamed, soft and breathless, your hands gripping his shoulders as you told him exactly what to do.
· · ───
The sun was barely cresting the horizon as you and Joel set out toward the riverbank, the chilly morning air biting at your cheeks. Joel kept a steady pace beside you, his rifle slung across his shoulder, his eyes scanning the dense treeline with practiced precision.
Despite the tension that always came with patrols, there was a comfort in your presence—a grounding force that he couldn’t quite put into words.
The faint scent of soap and leather lingered on you, familiar and steady, and Joel found himself stealing glances at you more than he should.
You walked with such assuredness, each step purposeful, and the soft sway of your hips had him swallowing harder than necessary.
He tried to focus, but your commanding presence made it impossible not to feel both overwhelmed and grounded.
“See this?” you murmured, crouching near a patch of disturbed dirt. Your voice was low, clipped, yet patient as you gestured for him to come closer. “Looks like someone’s been through here recently. More than one.”
Joel crouched beside you, his shoulder brushing yours as he examined the ground.
The way your hair caught the morning light, the subtle curve of your neck—it was too much. His chest tightened as he forced his gaze to the dirt and away from the way your lips parted slightly in concentration.
“Yeah,” he muttered, his voice rougher than intended. “Could be raiders.”
“Could be,” you agreed, straightening and adjusting the strap of your pack. “Let’s keep moving. Stay sharp.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Joel said before he could stop himself, the words slipping out instinctively.
You glanced at him, one brow arching, the barest hint of a smirk tugging at your lips.
You turned without a word, leading the way through the uneven terrain. Joel followed close behind, his pulse quickening with every step.
You always had this effect on him, like you were a magnet and he couldn’t help but be pulled in.
The ambush came fast.
Raiders poured from the treeline, their weapons raised, shouts breaking the morning quiet.
Joel moved on instinct, diving behind a fallen log and returning fire, but it was you who commanded the chaos with sharp, decisive orders.
“Joel! Left flank! Cover me!”
He obeyed without question, his rifle steady as he took down one of the raiders attempting to circle around.
Even in the heat of the moment, his eyes kept darting to you—how you moved like a ghost through the underbrush, your aim deadly, your composure unshaken.
But when one of them charged at your blind spot, Joel didn’t think. He moved.
The gunshot echoed like thunder as he dropped the man with a single shot.
You spun to face him, your eyes wide—not with fear but with something else. Relief? Gratitude? Whatever it was, it made his chest swell.
“Thanks,” you said, your tone steady despite the chaos. “But I told you—stay back.”
Joel gritted his teeth but nodded, ducking back behind cover as you finished off the last of the raiders.
When the dust settled, you stood amidst the wreckage, your rifle slung over your shoulder, your expression calm but sharp.
You scanned the area one last time before nodding.
“We’re clear,” you said, turning toward him. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” Joel replied, though his arm burned where a bullet had grazed him.
He shifted, trying to hide the blood seeping through his sleeve.
Your eyes narrowed. “You’re hit.”
“It’s nothin’,” he muttered, brushing it off.
“It’s not nothing,” you snapped, stepping closer. Your hand grabbed his arm, firm but not harsh. “We’re done here. You’re going back to Jackson. Now.”
Joel stiffened, his jaw tightening. “I can keep goin’. I’m fine.”
You tilted your head, the corners of your lips pulling into a wry, almost dangerous smile.
“Joel,” you said, your voice low but laced with authority that sent a shiver down his spine. “Do I look like I’m asking?”
Joel swallowed hard, his pulse hammering in his ears. “No, ma’am,” he muttered, his voice quieter this time, almost reverent.
“Good.” Your fingers lingered on his arm for just a second longer than necessary, the heat of your touch branding him, before you turned toward the horses. “Let’s move.”
At the clinic, Joel sat on the cot, his shirt discarded, the gash on his arm raw and angry. He winced as the doctor worked, stitching the wound with quick precision.
But his eyes weren’t on the needle or the thread—they were on you, leaning against the doorway with your arms crossed, your expression unreadable.
“You’ll need to rest for at least a couple days,” the doctor said, tying off the final stitch. “No patrols, no heavy lifting.”
Joel opened his mouth to argue, but your sharp glance silenced him immediately.
“Got it,” you said curtly, nodding at the doctor. “Thank you.”
When the doctor left, you turned to Joel, your arms dropping to your sides as you stepped closer. “Let’s get you home.”
Back at his house, you guided him inside, your hand on his arm, your touch firm and steady.
Joel sank onto the couch with a groan, his body heavier than he wanted to admit. You moved with purpose, disappearing into the kitchen before reappearing with a damp cloth and a glass of water.
“You don’t have to—” he started, but you cut him off with a look that had him snapping his mouth shut.
“Let me,” you said, your tone leaving no room for argument.
You knelt beside him, pressing the cloth gently to his arm. Joel swallowed hard, his breath catching at the sight of you so close, your fingers brushing against his skin.
The faint scent of you—clean and sharp, with a hint of something sweet—filled his senses, and he had to clench his fists to keep from reaching out.
When you finished, you sat back on your heels, your eyes meeting his. “Joel,” you said softly, “why do you push yourself so hard?”
Joel looked away, his jaw tightening. “Don’t wanna feel useless,” he muttered. “Don’t wanna… be a burden.”
“You’re not a burden,” you said firmly, leaning closer, your voice carrying a weight that made Joel’s chest ache. “You’re the furthest thing from it.”
Joel’s eyes flicked to yours, his breath catching at the intensity in your gaze. “I just…” He hesitated, his voice breaking. “I just wanna be good for you. Wanna make you proud.”
You tilted your head, a slow, knowing smile curving your lips.
“You already are, Joel,” you murmured, reaching out to cup his face. Your thumb brushed over his cheekbone, and Joel leaned into your touch like it was the only thing keeping him grounded.
Joel’s breath was uneven, his good hand curling into a fist on his thigh as he struggled to find the words.
You sat beside him on the couch, quiet and steady, your eyes on his face, your expression calm yet unreadable. It only made him more frantic.
“I—I can’t stop thinkin’ about you,” Joel stammered, his voice rough and breaking.
He rubbed a hand over his face, his palm trembling slightly as if he was trying to physically hold himself together.
“I need… I need you close. I don’t know what the hell I’m doin’, but I—I can’t keep this to myself anymore.”
Your lips parted slightly, but you didn’t speak. You just nodded slowly, your gaze unwavering, and it made him feel both exposed and comforted all at once. The tension in his chest was unbearable.
“I—dammit,” he muttered, his voice thick, his gaze darting everywhere but your face.
“I’m tryin’ to say it right, but I don’t—I can’t—I need you, alright? I can’t stop thinkin’ about you. About how you—how you’re always so damn steady, and you—”
He sucked in a shaky breath, his eyes finally locking on yours. They were glassy now, his vulnerability laid bare. “You make it easier, y’know? Just bein’ around you… I feel like I can breathe. Like maybe I ain’t so—so broken after all. And I… I need that. I need you.”
You tilted your head slightly, your lips curving into the faintest smile. It wasn’t teasing, wasn’t pitying. It was understanding, warm, and Joel swore it made his chest ache even more.
“Baby,” you murmured softly, the endearment sending a shiver down his spine. “You like me…romantically?”
Joel froze for a moment, his breath catching as your words settled over him. His lips parted, but all he could do was nod, the movement small and jerky, like he was afraid to admit it outright.
“Want to be good for me?” you asked, your voice a low, soothing hum.
Joel’s nod came faster this time, his breathing growing heavier as he leaned into you, desperate for something he couldn’t quite name.
You leaned in slowly, cupping his face with one hand, your thumb brushing over the rough stubble along his jaw.
Joel’s eyes fluttered shut as you pressed your lips to his, soft and lingering, and the low, guttural sound he made against your mouth was filled with need.
His hand reached out, gripping your waist as if anchoring himself to you, and his lips parted under yours, seeking more.
But just as he leaned into the kiss, you pulled back, your face still close enough that your breath mingled with his.
“Get better for me first, yeah?” you murmured, your thumb trailing along his jaw.
Joel’s eyes snapped open, his brows furrowing as he shook his head. “No, please,” he whispered, his voice rough and desperate.
“Please, I can’t—I’ve been waitin’ for so long. Please don’t make me wait anymore.”
You shushed him softly, your fingers sliding through his hair, and Joel practically melted under your touch, his body trembling with the effort to hold himself back.
“You’ll wait,” you said firmly, though your tone was still warm. “Because you’re mine, and I’m not about to let you go. But first, I need you strong, Joel. Need you rested. Yeah?”
Joel let out a shaky breath, his forehead dropping to your shoulder as he nodded, though his grip on you didn’t loosen. “Alright,” he rasped, his voice barely audible. “Alright. But just… just promise me you’ll be safe.”
“Well…you know me, baby,” you whispered, your lips brushing against the crown of his head.
Joel’s breath hitched again, his arms wrapping around your waist, holding you close as if to prove to himself that you were real. And as the weight of the moment settled between you, he felt something he hadn’t in years—peace.
· · ───
Joel had never been good at resting, but being sidelined for days was pure torture.
His arm still kinda ached where the stitches pulled at the edges of the wound, but the pain was nothing compared to the gnawing anxiety that came from not seeing you.
Three days felt like a lifetime, and every hour that passed without you made his chest feel tighter.
You’d been on patrol since the crack of dawn, and Joel had spent most of the day pacing around his house, every creak of the floorboards setting his nerves on edge.
He hadn’t wanted to push his luck with the doctor or you, so he’d stayed home, but the absence of your presence was like a physical ache.
He’d heard the patrol schedule—you were checking the area near the riverbank, where the raiders had been sighted.
The thought of you out there, alone or with someone who wasn’t him, made his stomach churn.
Joel knew you could handle yourself—he’d seen it firsthand—but the idea of you in danger without him there to back you up was unbearable.
By the time the sun dipped below the horizon, Joel couldn’t take it anymore.
His boots thudded against the wooden floors as he grabbed his jacket and rifle, the pain in his arm be damned.
If he didn’t see you soon, he was going to lose his mind.
The gates of Jackson were quiet, the air cool and crisp as Joel made his way toward the watchtower. A few guards gave him curious glances, but no one stopped him. He wasn’t exactly known for staying out of trouble, injured or not.
“Have you seen her?” Joel asked one of the guards at the gate, his voice gruff.
“Think she’s still out near the west ridge,” the man replied, tilting his hat back. “They were due back an hour ago, though.”
Joel’s jaw tightened. An hour ago. His grip on his rifle tightened as he set off toward the west ridge, his boots crunching against the gravel.
The relief was like a flood when he spotted you in the distance, your silhouette unmistakable against the fading light.
You were walking back toward the gates, your pack slung over your shoulder, your rifle in hand. Joel’s breath hitched at the sight of you, his steps quickening as he closed the distance between you.
“Where the hell have you been?” Joel barked, his voice harsher than he intended as he reached you.
You raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed by his tone. “Patrol. Where I said I’d be.”
“You were late,” Joel muttered, his gaze sweeping over you, searching for any sign of injury. “Anything happen out there?”
“Couple of runners,” you replied, brushing past him toward the gate. “Nothing bad.”
Joel followed you, his chest tight as he struggled to find the right words. “You could’ve sent word. Let someone know you were runnin’ behind.”
You turned to face him then, your eyes sharp. “Joel, I’m fine. I’m more worried about why you’re out here when you’re supposed to be resting.”
“I was worried about you,” Joel admitted, his voice quieter now, though no less intense. “Didn’t like not knowin’ if you were okay.”
Your expression softened, and you let out a quiet sigh. “Joel, I told you I’d be back.”
“And what if somethin’ had happened?” Joel pressed, his voice growing rough. “What if—” He stopped, his jaw clenching as he looked away.
You stepped closer, your hand resting gently on his arm. “Hey,” you said softly, your tone soothing. “I’m here. I’m okay. And you need to trust that I can take care of myself.”
Joel’s eyes flicked back to yours, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly at the steadiness in your gaze. “I know you can,” he muttered. “Doesn’t mean I’m not gonna worry.”
You smiled faintly, squeezing his arm. “I���ll take that as a compliment.”
Joel huffed a laugh, the sound low and rough. “Ain’t what I meant, but… yeah, take it how you want.”
“Come on,” you said, nudging him toward the gate. “Let’s get you home. You’re not supposed to be out here.”
Joel wanted to argue, but the warmth in your voice and the steady grip on his arm made it impossible.
He let you guide him back toward his house, the tension in his chest slowly unwinding with every step.
The walk back to Joel’s house was quiet at first, the two of you falling into an easy rhythm. But as you neared the porch, Joel’s tongue loosened, and the floodgates opened.
“What was it like out there today? Was it quiet before the runners? Were they close? You eat somethin’? Drink enough water?”
You chuckled softly, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye. “Joel, I’m fine. I promise.”
“I know, I know,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck, his steps faltering slightly as you led him inside. “Just… can’t stop thinkin’ about it. About you. Out there without me.”
His voice was rough, his words tumbling out so quickly he barely had time to filter them. “I mean, I know you’re capable—hell, more than capable—but I wasn’t there, and… I hate not bein’ there.”
You stopped just inside the doorway, turning to face him. Joel’s eyes darted over you, like he was trying to memorize every detail, his breathing uneven, his hands twitching at his sides as if he wanted to reach for you but didn’t quite dare.
“You’re rambling, Joel,” you said softly, your voice calm and steady as you reached up to cup his cheek.
Joel froze, his breath hitching at your touch, his wide eyes locking onto yours. “I just…” he began, his voice faltering. “I just—”
“Hush,” you murmured, your thumb brushing over his cheekbone. “I’m here. I’m fine. And I’m not going anywhere for another 4 days.”
Joel exhaled shakily, leaning into your touch like a man starved. “I know,” he rasped. “I know, but I can’t stop—”
You silenced him with a kiss, your lips soft and warm against his, and Joel melted beneath it, his whole body going taut before he relaxed into the moment.
His hands found your hips, tentative at first, then firm, gripping you like he was afraid you might disappear.
When you pulled back, his lips chased yours for a heartbeat before he caught himself, his eyes fluttering open. He looked dazed, his chest heaving, his pupils blown wide as he stared at you.
You smiled softly, the sound of his uneven breathing filling the space between you.
Joel’s lips parted as if to speak, but before he could, you leaned in and kissed him again, slower this time. His groan was low and deep, the kind that seemed to come from the very center of him, vibrating through your chest.
His hands tightened on your hips, pulling you closer, his need unmistakable.
When your lips parted and your tongue brushed against his, Joel whimpered—a sound so desperate, so raw, it sent a rush of heat straight through you.
You couldn’t help but laugh softly into the kiss, and Joel’s grip faltered for a second, his lips pulling into a shaky smile against yours.
“Why’re you laughin’?” he asked, his voice rough, his forehead pressing against yours as he caught his breath.
“You’re eager,” you teased, your hands sliding to his shoulders, feeling the strength there. “It’s sweet.”
Joel groaned again, his cheeks flushing as his hands smoothed up your sides. “Can’t help it,” he admitted, his voice dropping lower. “You’re drivin’ me crazy, darlin’. Been thinkin’ about this for too long.”
His gaze dropped, and his eyes darkened as they settled on the curve of your breasts, visible through the gap in your blouse.
“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, his hands twitching like he wanted to touch but didn’t dare without permission. “You’re perfect.”
You raised an eyebrow, tilting your head as you ran your fingers along his jaw. “Joel,” you said, your tone firmer now, and he immediately snapped his gaze back up to meet yours, his breath hitching. “What are you lookin’ at?”
His cheeks went even redder, but he didn’t look away.
Your lips quirked into a sly smile, and you reached up to unbutton the top of your blouse slowly, deliberately. Joel’s eyes tracked every movement, his throat working as he swallowed hard, his cock straining visibly against his jeans.
“You’ve healed up, huh?” you asked, your tone playful, and Joel nodded quickly, his hands shaking slightly.
“Barely feel it,” he murmured, his voice trembling with anticipation. “Please, darlin’. Please let me—”
You sighed dramatically, shaking your head as you pushed the blouse from your shoulders, revealing the smooth curve of your skin.
“Go ahead, Joel,” you said, your voice steady but laced with heat. “If you think you can handle it.”
Joel groaned, his hands finding your waist again, pulling you flush against him as his mouth crashed into yours.
His kisses were messy, desperate, his lips sliding against yours like he couldn’t get enough. His hands roamed your body, shaky but reverent, sliding up your ribs and hovering just below your chest.
“Eager little thing,” you murmured against his mouth, and Joel whimpered at the words, his hips pressing against yours as his arousal became undeniable.
“Can’t help it,” he breathed, his voice shaky and desperate. “Been wantin’ to get my mouth on you for so long. Wanna lick every inch of you. Fuck, those pretty nipples—been dyin’ to suck on ‘em, darlin’. Let me taste you, please.”
The way his voice cracked, the way he clung to you—it was enough to make your resolve waver. But you weren’t going to let him get off that easily. Not yet.
“Bed,” you whispered, pulling back just enough to guide him toward the bedroom. Joel followed without hesitation, his hands still on you, his body trembling with barely-contained need.
“Sit down, baby,” you murmured, your voice firm but teasing as you pushed him gently onto the mattress.
Joel sat immediately, lips wet and swollen from your kisses, his pupils blown wide as he stared up at you like you were a goddess he was desperate to worship.
“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, his gaze flicking to your chest, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. “You’re so goddamn beautiful.”
You stepped between his legs, running your hands up his thighs, feeling the way they trembled under your touch.
“Is this what you’ve been dreamin’ about, Joel?” you asked, your voice low and sultry as you leaned in close. “Me, standin’ over you like this, lettin’ you look your fill?”
Joel groaned, his head tipping back as his hips jerked involuntarily. “Yes,” he whispered, his voice trembling. “Every night, darlin’. I—fuck—I think about you all the time. Can’t stop.”
You smirked, running your hands higher until your fingers brushed against the hard, throbbing bulge straining beneath his jeans. Joel’s breath hitched, his hips lifting slightly as if to chase your touch.
“Bet you’ve been strokin’ that cock to the thought of me, haven’t you?” you purred, your nails scraping lightly along his thighs.
“Thinking about my tits, my mouth, wonderin’ what it’d feel like to have me all over you?”
Joel let out a broken whimper, his hands gripping the edge of the mattress as he nodded. “Yes,” he rasped, his voice thick with desperation. “Fuck, yes. I think about you all the time—Drives me crazy.”
You laughed softly, Joel’s eyes focused, his chest heaving as he took in the sight of you, his gaze zeroing in on your breasts, the way your nipples pebbled in the cool air.
You reached up, cupping your breasts and squeezing them lightly, your thumbs brushing over your nipples. “Wanna taste them, baby? Wanna feel my tits in your mouth?”
Joel groaned loudly, his hands clenching into fists as his cock strained painfully against his jeans. “Please,” he begged, his voice breaking. “Please, let me—fuck, let me taste them."
You smirked, stepping closer and guiding his hands to your hips. “Go on then, baby,” you murmured, leaning in until your chest was level with his face. “Show me how much you want it.”
Joel didn’t need to be told twice. His hands slid up to your waist, pulling you closer as his mouth latched onto one of your nipples with a desperate groan.
His lips were hot and eager, his tongue swirling over the sensitive bud before he sucked it into his mouth, his teeth grazing just enough to make you gasp.
“Fuck, that’s it,” you murmured, threading your fingers through his hair and tugging lightly. “Good boy, Joel. Just like that.”
Joel whimpered against your skin, his hands sliding up to cup your breasts, squeezing them gently as he switched to your other nipple. His tongue worked in slow, deliberate strokes, his lips tugging and sucking as if he couldn’t get enough.
“Finally” he muttered against your skin, his voice muffled but no less desperate.
You chuckled softly, grinding your hips against his lap, feeling the hard line of his cock pressing against your thigh. “You’re so needy,” you teased, your voice dripping with satisfaction. “Can’t even keep your hands to yourself, can you?”
Joel shook his head, his mouth still attached to your nipple as he let out a low, guttural moan. His hands slid down to your hips, gripping you tightly as he rocked against you, his cock throbbing beneath the rough denim of his jeans.
“Can’t help it,” he rasped, his voice hoarse. “You’re all I think about. All I want.”
You leaned down, brushing your lips against his ear. “Then be a good boy for me, Joel,” you whispered, your voice low and commanding. “Keep sucking.”
Joel groaned, his hands tightening on your hips as his lips moved back to your breast, sucking and licking with renewed fervor. His hips bucked against yours, his need spilling out in every touch, every sound.
“You like these, baby?” you murmured, cupping your breast and brushing your thumb over your wet, glistening nipples. “My sweet boy likes them, hm?”
Joel froze for a moment, his pupils dilating as the meaning of your words sank in. His hips bucked sharply, and he let out a strangled moan, his whole body trembling beneath you.
“Fuck, I-,” he groaned, his voice cracking as his head fell back against the headboard. “Shit, darlin’, I’m sorry—I can’t… I’m—fuck!”
You felt the unmistakable heat and dampness spreading as Joel’s hips jerked one last time, his moans spilling into the quiet room. His face flushed a deep red, his chest heaving as he realized what had just happened.
“Shit,” he muttered again, his voice thick with embarrassment as he covered his face with one hand. “I didn’t mean to… fuck, I’m so sorry. This is so stupid—”
“Joel,” you interrupted, your voice firm but soothing as you brushed his hand away from his face. “Look at me.”
He did, his eyes wide and vulnerable, his lips parted as he struggled to catch his breath. The sight of him—flushed, desperate, and utterly wrecked—only made you want him more.
“It’s okay,” you murmured, your lips curving into a wicked smile. “I’m flattered, baby. You just couldn’t help yourself, could you? Had to come in your pants for me.”
Joel let out a choked sound, his hips twitching involuntarily beneath you.
“I… fuck, darlin’, you make me crazy,” he admitted hoarsely. “Can’t stop thinkin’ about you. I need you. Please… let me make it up to you.”
Your smile widened, and you leaned down, brushing your lips against his ear. “Still wanna keep going, baby?” you whispered, your voice dripping with mock sympathy. “After you’ve already made such a mess?”
Joel nodded frantically, his hands gripping your hips like a lifeline. “Yes,” he rasped, his voice breaking. “I don’t think I ever wanna stop, ma’am. Please… let me taste you. I’ll be so good for you, I promise.”
You pulled back slightly, tilting your head as you studied him, your expression unreadable.
Then, slowly, you smiled, your fingers trailing down his chest. “Undress me,” you commanded, your voice soft but firm.
Joel flushed, his hands moving to your waist again. He hooked his thumbs into the waistband of your pants, his eyes flicking up to meet yours for permission.
You nodded, leaning back onto the bed as you let him guide the fabric down your legs, his touch careful but firm.
By the time your pants were off, you were sprawled out on the bed, your back resting against the pillows.
Joel knelt between your legs, his chest heaving as he stared down at you, his eyes drinking in every detail like he was trying to commit it to memory.
"You're beautiful," he said again, his voice breaking slightly as his fingers slid along the waistband of your panties.
Joel groaned low in his throat, his hands clumsy but desperate as he unbuttoned your pants and slid them down your legs.
He paused when he saw your panties, a visible wet spot already soaking through the fabric. His breath hitched, and he let out a shaky, “Fuck… look at that. So wet for me, darlin’. Goddamn.”
His hands trembled as he paused, glancing up at you for reassurance.
You smirked, one eyebrow arching as you propped yourself up on your elbows.
"Go on, baby," you murmured, your voice soft and encouraging. "You've got me all to yourself. Do what you've been dreaming about."
Joel’s hands hovered over your hips for a moment before he finally let them settle there, his thumbs brushing against the edge of your panties.
Joel settled between your legs like he was kneeling before an altar, his chest heaving and his fingers trembling as he slid along the waistband of your panties.
His eyes flicked up to yours, dark and wide with need, and you gave him the softest smile, threading your fingers into his hair as you gently tugged him closer.
“yeah, baby” you murmured, your voice dripping with encouragement.
His breath hitched, and he leaned down, his lips brushing against the sensitive skin of your inner thighs.
He kissed you there, slow and reverent, his beard grazing your flesh and sending shivers through you. Each kiss was accompanied by a low, throaty groan, his lips moving steadily closer to the source of your heat.
“Jesus Christ,” he rasped, his voice breaking as he reached the edge of your panties. His nose pressed against the damp fabric, and he inhaled sharply, the sound guttural and desperate.
“Fuck, you smell so good, darlin’. Like heaven—sweet, wet heaven.”
His hands trembled as they gripped your thighs, holding you open as he buried his face against you, nuzzling and inhaling like he couldn’t get enough.
The rough fabric of his jeans rubbed against your calves, a sharp contrast to the warmth of his breath and the wet heat of his mouth against your panties.
“Been dreamin’ about this—about your sweet cunt for so fuckin’ long. Want it so bad, baby. Wanna taste you—wanna lick you, suck that pretty clit between my lips and drink you down till there’s nothin’ left.”
You moaned softly, your fingers threading through his hair and tugging gently, encouraging him.
“Yeah?” you whispered, your voice low and breathless. “You wanna eat me out, baby? Wanna show me how good that mouth of yours is? Then take them off.”
Joel knelt between your thighs, trembling as he slid your soaked panties down your legs.
He didn’t even try to hide the way his breath hitched when your cunt was fully exposed to him, glistening and perfect.
His chest rose and fell in quick, uneven breaths as he just stared for a moment, his lips parting like he wanted to speak but couldn’t find the words.
“You just gonna look, Joel?” you teased, your fingers slipping into his hair and tugging gently. “Or are you gonna be a good boy and show me what you can do?”
That broke him. His head dipped instantly, his breath ghosting hot over your slick folds as he whispered, “Yes… yes, ma’am.” His voice was low, reverent, almost a prayer.
The first touch of his tongue was hesitant but deliberate, a slow drag from your entrance to your clit, as if he wanted to savor you.
He groaned into you, the sound muffled but deep, and then he leaned in further, pressing his mouth to your cunt like he couldn’t get close enough.
“Good boy,” you murmured, your voice soft but thick with pleasure. “Fuck, you’re so eager for it. Just like that.”
Joel didn’t answer—couldn’t answer.
He was too focused, his hands gripping your thighs to hold you open as he worked his tongue through every inch of your folds.
His breath hitched as he tasted you, his lips sealing over your clit for a moment to suck softly before his tongue returned to explore your entrance.
“Oh, baby,” you breathed, your hips arching slightly into his mouth. “You’re so fucking good at that. Look at you, so hungry for me. You love this, don’t you? Love worshipping my pussy.”
His only response was a desperate, muffled groan and moaning as he shifted his grip, spreading your thighs wider.
His nose pressed against your clit, and he rubbed it there as his tongue delved inside you, slow and deliberate, tasting you from the inside out.
His breathing was ragged now, warm puffs of air against your heat between each swipe of his tongue.
“Fuck yes,” he whispered hoarsely against you, his voice barely audible over the sound of his mouth working your cunt. “Fuck… taste so good. Yes. Yes, ma’am…”
You tugged his hair lightly, guiding him just where you wanted, and he followed without hesitation, his moans vibrating through your core.
His nose nudged your clit again, his tongue lapping at your entrance with long, languid strokes, and your moans filled the room, soft and breathy.
“That’s it,” you encouraged, your voice breaking slightly as he found just the right rhythm. “Such a good boy. Keep going, baby. Make me come.”
Joel groaned deeply, the sound muffled as he pressed his face impossibly closer to your core, his lips locking around your clit.
Each sound he made was guttural, desperate, like he was losing himself in the taste of you.
His hands gripped your thighs tightly, anchoring himself to you as his nose pressed against your folds, adding pressure in all the right places.
“Good boy,” you whispered, your voice trembling as you combed your fingers through his hair, guiding him exactly where you needed him. “Keep going, baby. Suck my clit just like that.”
Joel whimpered against you, the sound low and wrecked, and he obeyed without hesitation, sucking harder, his tongue darting out to flick over the swollen nub between pulls.
He groaned again, his hips shifting slightly as if he couldn’t help but grind against the mattress, completely undone by the act of pleasuring you.
Your breath hitched, your body trembling as the tension in your core tightened to an unbearable degree.
“Fuck, Joel—don’t stop. Don’t you fucking stop.”
He moaned louder at your words, his hands tightening on your thighs as he doubled down, his lips creating just the right amount of pressure while his tongue worked you mercilessly.
His nose nudged against your clit in rhythm with his sucking, the sensation pushing you closer and closer to the edge.
“Please,” he murmured against you between strokes, his voice trembling with need. “Wanna make you come, ma’am. Wanna feel you fall apart on my tongue.”
That was all it took. Your body tensed, your back arching as your orgasm slammed into you, waves of pleasure crashing through you so hard you couldn’t even form words.
Joel groaned against you, his tongue and lips relentless as he rode out your release, his moans vibrating through every sensitive nerve ending.
When you finally came down, your thighs trembling and your breath shaky, Joel slowly pulled back, his lips glistening and swollen, his face flushed and eyes glazed with pure adoration.
He looked like a man on his knees at the altar of a goddess.
“perfect,” he whispered, his voice wrecked, his gaze fixed on your blissed-out expression.
“Did I do good?” he asked quietly, his voice raw and hoarse.
You smiled, brushing your fingers over his cheek. “Better than good, baby,” you murmured. “Fuck.”
Joel’s eyes darted to yours, wide and full of something raw and pleading.
He leaned in again, his lips brushing against your inner thigh as he spoke, his voice trembling with need. “Please… can I keep goin’? Just a little more. I don’t wanna stop. Wanna taste you again, ma’am.”
His mouth found your clit in a featherlight kiss, his tongue flicking out experimentally, careful and reverent as though seeking permission.
His hands slid up your thighs, holding them open like you might change your mind.
“Joel,” you said, your voice soft but firm, your hand threading into his hair and tugging just enough to stop him. “No, baby. I wanna feel you now.”
Joel froze, his breath hitching, and he whined softly against your skin, the sound almost pitiful. “But—” he started, his lips pressing to your clit again in a desperate, fleeting kiss. “I can make you come again. Please, I—”
“Joel.” Your voice was sharper this time, not cruel but commanding. His eyes flicked up to meet yours, his lips glistening and his pupils blown wide. “You’ve been so good, baby, but I want you now. Don’t make me ask twice.”
The words sent a visible shudder through him. He hesitated for half a second before pulling back reluctantly, his lips parted as if to protest but no words came out. His hands lingered on your thighs, squeezing gently as he swallowed hard.
“Yes, ma’am,” he finally said, his voice low and hoarse, the respect and submission in his tone sending a fresh wave of heat through you.
He sat back on his heels, his eyes never leaving yours as he waited for your next command.
You leaned up slightly, cupping his cheek with one hand, your thumb brushing over his flushed skin. His lips were parted, breathless, as if he couldn’t quite believe this was happening.
“You’ve done so well, baby,” you murmured softly, letting your other hand trail down his chest. “But I need to see all of you. Let’s get this off.”
Joel’s breath hitched, his wide eyes locking onto yours as you reached for the buttons of his shirt. “Yes,” he whispered, the words shaky and reverent, like he couldn’t believe he was allowed this moment.
One by one, you undid the buttons, the fabric parting to reveal the broad expanse of his chest.
You slid the shirt off his shoulders, letting it fall to the bed as you sat back to admire him.
Your gaze swept over the planes of his body—the strong curve of his shoulders, the scars that marred his skin, the soft dusting of hair on his chest.
“Fuck, Joel,” you murmured, your voice full of heat and awe. “Look at you. You’re beautiful.”
His cheeks turned a deep red, and he looked away, swallowing hard. “Don’t know about that,” he mumbled, his voice low and unsure.
You leaned forward, your hands sliding over his chest, your thumbs brushing along the ridges of his scars.
“Oh, I do,” you purred, your tone leaving no room for argument. “You’re fucking perfect, Joel. Every inch of you.”
Your fingers grazed his nipples, and Joel froze, his breath catching audibly. The faintest shiver ran through his body, and he let out a soft, shaky, “Ma’am…”
You smirked, leaning in closer. “Sensitive, huh?” you murmured, circling the hardened peaks with your thumbs.
Joel let out a broken gasp, his hips jerking into the air as his hands gripped the sheets beneath him.
“Fuck,” he groaned, his voice low and desperate. “Didn’t… didn’t know I -.”
“You didn’t?” you teased, leaning down to press a soft kiss to one nipple before flicking your tongue over it. Joel’s reaction was instant—a guttural moan that sent a wave of heat straight through you.
“Sweetheart I-” he gasped again, his hands trembling as they hovered near your waist, like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to touch you. “I—fuck, I—”
“Hush, baby,” you whispered, shifting to his other nipple and sucking it into your mouth.
Joel cried out, his head falling back against the pillows as his chest arched into your touch.
His hips bucked again, and you could feel how hard he was, straining against the confines of his jeans.
“Fuck,” he whimpered, his voice trembling. “I didn’t know… didn’t know I could feel this good. Please, don’t stop.”
You hummed against his skin, your tongue teasing over the sensitive bud before you nipped at it gently. Joel’s whole body jerked, a sharp gasp escaping his lips.
“You’re so sensitive, baby,” you murmured, sitting back to admire the way his chest heaved, his eyes wide and glassy. “Bet no one’s ever touched you like this before.”
Joel shook his head frantically, his hands gripping the sheets so tightly his knuckles turned white. “No,” he breathed. “Never. Fuck, it’s—ma’am, it’s so good.”
You let your hands drift lower, tracing the sharp lines of his ribs and the soft curve of his stomach. Joel’s eyes fluttered shut, and he let out a shaky moan as your fingers teased the waistband of his jeans.
“You want more, baby?” you asked softly, your voice teasing and full of promise.
Joel nodded frantically, his voice barely above a whisper as he rasped, “Please… please, ma’am. Anything you want.”
You hooked your fingers into the waistband of his jeans, slowly pulling them down along with his underwear, your eyes drinking in the sight of him as he was finally exposed.
Joel’s cock sprang free, flushed and thick, the head an angry, swollen red and glistening with his earlier release.
Pearly streaks of cum had smeared down his shaft, pooling at the base and even dripping onto his balls. You let out a low hum of approval, your lips curling into a wicked smile.
“Such a mess,” you tutted, your voice thick with teasing affection. “You’ve really made quite the mess, baby.”
Joel’s chest heaved, his breath coming in shaky gasps as he avoided your gaze, his embarrassment clear. But his hips jerked slightly, almost involuntarily, at the heat in your voice.
“Aw, don’t get shy on me now,” you teased, your fingers curling gently around his cock, feeling the slickness of him against your palm.
“This is nothing to be embarrassed about. It just shows how much you need me.”
Joel whimpered, his voice breaking as he finally met your eyes. “I… I can’t help it,” he admitted hoarsely, his voice trembling. “You make me—fuck—you make me crazy.”
Your thumb stroked up the length of his shaft, smearing the sticky remnants of his cum before circling the sensitive head.
“I know, baby,” you cooed, your voice softening just a touch. “And I love how desperate you get for me. Let me clean you up first, okay? Can’t leave my good boy all messy like this.”
Joel nodded frantically, his lips parting as a shaky moan escaped him. “Yes, ma’am,” he whispered, his voice thick with submission.
You leaned down, your tongue darting out to trace along the underside of his cock, starting at the base where his cum had pooled and slowly working your way up.
The taste of him was intoxicating, salty and musky, and you let out a quiet, pleased hum as you licked him clean. Joel’s entire body trembled beneath you, his hands gripping the sheets tightly as he struggled to stay still.
“Fuck,” he gasped, his voice barely above a whisper. “Ma’am… oh, fuck…”
You didn’t stop, your tongue swirling around the head of his cock, collecting every drop of his release before moving lower.
Your lips closed around one of his balls, sucking gently as your hand continued to stroke him, coaxing soft whimpers and gasps from his lips.
His thighs trembled, his breath hitching as you moved to the other, lavishing it with the same attention.
“You taste so good, Joel,” you murmured, your voice low and sultry as you pulled back slightly to admire your work. “Such a pretty cock, too. Look at you, all clean and perfect for me now.”
Joel moaned loudly, his head tipping back as his hands clenched the sheets even tighter. “You’re—fuck—you’re perfect,” he stammered, his voice cracking. “I don’t deserve this.”
You grinned, your fingers brushing along the length of his cock, your touch light and teasing.
“You deserve every bit of this,” you said firmly, your voice dipping into a commanding tone. “You’ve been such a good boy for me, haven’t you? Letting me take care of you like this.”
Joel’s hips jerked against your hand, his breath coming in short, ragged gasps as he nodded frantically.
“Yes,” he whispered, his voice trembling. “Yes, ma’am. Please… please don’t stop.”
You leaned in again, pressing a soft kiss to the tip of his cock, your tongue flicking out to tease the sensitive slit.
“You want more, baby?” you murmured, your voice dripping with seduction. “Want me to make you feel even better?”
Joel’s eyes fluttered open, his gaze locking onto yours as he nodded, his desperation palpable. “Please,” he rasped, his voice breaking. “I’ll do anything. Just… please let me feel you.”
You smiled, soft and knowing, before leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. “Anything, huh?” you teased, your voice low and dripping with promise. “Then show me, Joel. Show me how much you want this.”
Joel’s hands trembled as he gripped your hips, helping you straddle him. His cock pressed against your slick heat, and he groaned deeply, the sound vibrating through both of you.
His eyes flicked between your face and where your bodies were about to join, his chest heaving with anticipation.
“Don’t make me wait,” he whispered, his voice hoarse and wrecked. “Please, ma’am. Let me feel you.”
You reached down, guiding him to your entrance, your breath hitching as you slowly sank down onto him.
The stretch was delicious, the thickness of him filling you completely, and you couldn’t help the moan that spilled from your lips.
“Fuck, Joel,” you gasped, your hands bracing on his chest. “You feel so good, baby. So big—.”
Joel’s head fell back against the pillows, his lips parted as a choked moan escaped him.
“Goddamn,” he muttered, his voice shaky. “You’re so tight, so fuckin’ perfect. Feels like heaven, darlin’. I—fuck—I can’t believe this.”
You rocked your hips slowly, letting yourself adjust to the feel of him before setting a steady rhythm.
Joel’s hands gripped your waist, his fingers digging into your skin as he bucked up to meet you, his movements desperate and hungry.
“Good boy,” you murmured, your voice low and commanding as you leaned over him, your lips brushing against his ear. “That’s it, Joel. Let me take care of you. Let me give you what you need.”
Joel whimpered beneath you, his hips stuttering as he clung to you.
“You’re… you’re so fuckin’ good to me,” he rasped, his voice cracking with emotion. “The way you—fuck—the way you handle everything. The way you handle me.”
You tilted your head, studying him with soft affection as your hips moved steadily against his.
“Finally can let go, hm?” you murmured, your tone soothing yet commanding. “Yeah? Let me take care of you, Joel. You don’t have to worry so much.”
Joel’s eyes squeezed shut, his breath hitching as his hands slid up to cup your waist, holding you like you were his lifeline.
“Fuck,” he moaned, his hips bucking harder into you. “I—I worry about you, darlin’. But… but it’s an honor to. Always an honor.”
Your heart clenched at his words, and you leaned down to kiss him deeply, swallowing the desperate sounds spilling from his lips.
His thrusts grew erratic beneath you, his chest heaving as he neared the edge.
Joel’s hands gripped your waist tighter, his fingers digging into your skin like he was afraid to let go.
His breath came in short, ragged bursts, and his hips moved with a frantic rhythm beneath you, desperate and unrelenting. Each thrust sent waves of pleasure coursing through you, your body moving in perfect sync with his.
“You’re so fucking good, Joel,” you murmured against his lips, your voice heavy with affection and desire. “So perfect, baby. Keep going—don’t stop.”
His head tipped back, exposing the vulnerable curve of his throat, a choked moan escaping his lips.
“I—I can’t—fuck, darlin’,” he gasped, his voice trembling with raw emotion. “You feel so goddamn good. Can’t… can’t hold on much longer.”
You cupped his face, bringing his gaze back to yours, your thumb brushing over his flushed cheek.
“You don’t have to hold on,” you whispered, your voice a soothing command. “Let go for me, Joel. Let me feel you.”
Joel’s eyes widened, his pupils blown, and his hips snapped up into you with desperate force.
“You’re—God, you’re everything,” he groaned, his voice breaking as his hands slid up your sides, trembling as they roamed over your body. “Everything, darlin'. Don’t wanna stop… don’t wanna lose this.”
“You’re not gonna lose anything,” you reassured him, your own voice breathy and uneven as you rocked against him harder, the friction pushing you closer to your own edge. “I’m here, Joel. Always. Now, give it to me, baby.”
Joel’s body tensed, his back arching off the bed as a guttural moan tore from his throat.
“Fuck!” he cried, his hands gripping your hips as his release hit him, his cock pulsing inside you with a heat that sent you spiraling.
The intensity of his climax triggered your own, your body tightening around him as waves of ecstasy crashed over you.
Your cries mingled with his, the room filled with the sounds of your shared pleasure, raw and unrestrained.
Joel’s hips stuttered beneath you, his movements slowing as he rode out the last shuddering waves of his orgasm. His hands loosened their grip on your hips, sliding up to cradle your back as he pulled you down against his chest, holding you close.
For a moment, neither of you spoke, the only sounds in the room your labored breathing and the faint rustle of the sheets. Joel’s fingers traced lazy patterns on your skin, his chest rising and falling beneath you as he pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head.
“You’re… you’re incredible,” he murmured, his voice hoarse but filled with awe. “I don’t deserve you, darlin’. Don’t deserve any of this.”
You lifted your head, brushing your lips against his with a tenderness that made his breath hitch. “You deserve it all, Joel,” you murmured, your voice steady but warm. “Every damn bit. You’re good to me—you’re good for me.”
Joel’s eyes searched yours, shining with an emotion he couldn’t quite name but didn’t want to hide. His arms tightened around you, his lips brushing your forehead in a lingering, reverent kiss.
"Now rest up. We’ve got work to do.”
· · ───
From then on, you and Joel became Jackson’s most formidable pair. Whether it was managing patrols, handling disputes, or protecting the town, people knew better than to question the two of you. Joel was your rock, steadfast and loyal, while you were the sharp, commanding presence that kept everything moving forward.
He was at your side for every decision, every challenge, always watching your back—and stealing those quiet moments when it was just the two of you. Joel wore his pride in you like a badge, unspoken but deeply felt, in the way his gaze lingered and his touch steadied you.
And every night, as the world outside grew dark, you both found solace in each other—a partnership built on trust, strength, and the kind of love that didn’t need words to be understood.
Joel always said it best in his own way: “Ain’t nothin’ in this world I wouldn’t do for you, darlin’. Always.”
· · ───────────𖥸──────────· ··
I am not beta reading all of that so if y'all find any errors tell me or ignore them like I did the past 22 years. Hope this was fun for you - please comment your opinions (plsplspls). I kinda feel like this is too long idk-
love youuuuuu
#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x you#mssalo#joel miller fanfic#joel miller fic#mssalowork#pedro pascal#joel miller x f!reader#tlou fanfiction#tlou smut#joel miller x y/n#pedro pascal x reader#the last of us smut#tlou joel#joel miller one shot#joel miller imagine#joel the last of us#joel tlou#the last of us fanfiction#tlou fanfic#tlou fic#sub!joel#sub Joel Miller#Dom fem reader#sub!joelmiller
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Explicit | 2k words | First time blowjob + Getting together
Found this in my drafts and finished it off. I know this is inspired by a post but I cannot find it.
"Can I blow you?"
Eddie freezes where he's unpacking his bag at the Harrington dining table, the first to arrive for tonight's D&D session. He blinks before turning to look at Steve, who is leaning casually in the doorway like he hadn't just offered Eddie the chance to live out one of his frequent fantasies.
"I'm sorry, can you repeat that? I think my ears stopped working for a second there."
Steve rolls his eyes and crosses his arms, his hip popping out in that bitchy way that makes Eddie want to bite him. "Can I blow you?" he asks again, this time with more emphasis, and yeah, Eddie heard him right the first time.
Eddie says "What's with the sudden interest, Stevie?" which he thinks is a valid question, considering the fact that Steve has never shown any inclination towards any dick, let alone Eddie's. He'd gotten confirmation of such when he came out to Steve a couple months ago and received a prompt "Oh cool. You can talk to me about boys if you want, but I don't know how much help I'll be."
The Steve in front of him exhales sharply, clearly holding back a bitchier response as he replies "Do you want a blowjob or not, man?"
It only takes Eddie half a second to answer yes, because even if this is some fever dream, there's no way he's going to turn down the man he's been crushing on. All the more reason to agree, honestly.
"Here?" Eddie asks, and Steve shakes his head.
"Upstairs, in case one of the kids shows up early."
Right, of course.
Eddie follows Steve up to his room, where the other boy shuts and locks the door behind them before he's pushing Eddie up against the solid surface.
There's no build up, no easing into it; no needy kisses or teasing touches like Eddie would expect from Steve Harrington. Steve just drops to his knees and starts on Eddie's belt, and all Eddie can do is watch as the hottest guy he knows pulls down his pants and boxers just enough to expose him.
Steve's eyebrows shoot up and his face flushes pink as he takes in Eddie's dick for the first time. Eddie's too distracted by how pretty Steve is to ask if he likes what he sees, and Steve doesn't say anything as he wraps his hand around the shaft, seeming to get a feel for it. Eddie is only about half-chubbed, but begins to rapidly approach rock hard as Steve swipes his thumb over the piercing that sits below the head.
"Did that hurt?" Steve asks, voice thick with something, and Eddie shrugs.
"Yeah. Made jacking off pretty tough for a while."
Steve hums in response and finally gives it a proper stroke, and Eddie groans low, even though it's a bit drier than he'd like. The other boy must realize the same thing, because he pulls his hand back and - fuck - spits in it before he's grabbing Eddie's dick and trying again.
It's much better, and Eddie hums encouragingly as Steve jerks him off, his eyes focused on the head that's getting redder and redder as Eddie's dick hardens. Eddie bites his lip as he watches Steve focus on his task, as he speeds up and slows down, trying a few things out.
Eventually Steve leans in and licks over the tip, pulling another groan from Eddie, and it's like Steve suddenly remembers that the dick in his hand is actually attached to a person. He looks up at Eddie, his gaze swirling with wonder and desire as he takes the head into his mouth and sucks.
"Fuuuuck, Stevie," Eddie groans, unable to keep his mouth shut at the sight before him. "Look like a fuckin' dream on your knees for me, baby."
Steve shudders at the praise and pulls back to mouth at the piercing, and Eddie desperately needs to know if Steve has done this before, because if not then he's a fucking natural. He clocks every one of Eddie's reactions and abuses the knowledge, tongue flicking the piercing or lips suckling on the tip. It's not long before he takes more into his mouth, sinking down onto Eddie's cock as far as he can before pulling back with a wet noise.
He quickly finds his rhythm, bobbing on Eddie's dick like he's done it a hundred times, and Eddie gives up on trying to be cool about this whole thing. He pushes his hands into Steve's hair and pulls him closer, forcing more of his dick into Steve's mouth.
"Tap my leg if you need to stop," Eddie says as he gives a shallow thrust into that wet heat. Steve just moans, eyes fluttering as he lets Eddie guide him, his hands grabbing Eddie's jeans and holding on as Eddie fucks into his mouth.
Eddie tries to be careful; he doesn't want to hurt Steve, but the boy is just so beautiful with tears welling up in his eyes and a pink blush staining his skin. He snaps his hips, pushing the head of his dick into Steve's throat just enough to hear him choke, and Steve winces at the intrusion but doesn't tap out.
Eddie croons a soft "That's it, baby. Such a good boy, taking my dick so well," and Steve's reaction is even stronger than before, the way he melts into the encouragement even more obvious. It makes Eddie want to shower Steve in praise, to smother him with it, so he never doubts how perfect he is.
"Look at me, Stevie," he commands, and when Steve's eyes lift to meet Eddie's - glossy with unshed tears and a bit unfocused - it's enough to push Eddie right to the edge.
"Fuck, I'm-"
Eddie yanks Steve off and strips his dick in quick strokes until he's coming, shooting his spend over Steve's beautiful, dazed face. He takes just a second to catch his breath before he drops to the floor and kisses Steve hard, smearing his cum between their lips. Steve whines into it as he kisses back, and Eddie blindly reaches down, searching for the hard line of Steve's dick in his pants.
Instead, his hand meets a damp spot, and Eddie breaks the kiss so he can look down to confirm his suspicion.
"Holy shit, Steve. Did you come in your pants just from sucking me off?"
"I'm, uh- just as surprised as you are," Steve says, his voice a little scratchier than it was before. "I wasn't expecting to enjoy that as much as I did."
Fuck. Eddie forgot about this part. The part where Steve admits that he just wanted to see what it was like and figured Eddie was the perfect candidate for his little experiment. Eddie doesn't mind, really, not when this whole scenario has been kind of a dream come true, but that doesn't mean it's going to hurt any less.
They're interrupted by the sound of footsteps approaching, followed by a rapid knocking on the door. "Steve! You in here? Eddie's stuff is here but we can't find him!"
Fucking Dustin.
"Yeah, me and Steve are here!" Eddie replies. "We're talking about something, I'll be down in a sec!"
Dustin gives a "Hurry up, man!" through the door, and Eddie shakes his head as he listens to him walk away. He stands and helps Steve move from the floor to the nearby desk chair.
"I'll, uh. Go grab you a towel," he says, and Steve nods.
Eddie quickly fixes his pants before heading to the bathroom across the hall. He splashes some water on his face to help get rid of the flush, then wets a washcloth while keeping an ear out for any wandering children. The coast seems to keep clear as he goes back, and a shiver runs down his spine at the sight of Steve, who had slipped off his bottoms while Eddie was gone.
Fuck, Eddie would love to get his mouth on that cock.
He passes Steve the cloth and just stands there as he wipes off his face, then his dick, unable to look away.
"So, uh. Where did that come from?" Eddie can't help but ask, his curiosity winning out over his self-preservation. Steve looks up at him and blushes, even the tips of his ears going pink.
"Um. Dustin was ranting to me last week, talking about how you're always so strict with everyone during your games, and he thought— Well, he thought if you got laid you might go easier on them."
Eddie blinks, absorbing the information for a moment. "Did he… ask you? To do this?"
Steve shakes his head and moves to the dresser to grab a clean pair of sweatpants.
"No, that was— that was all me. It just popped into my head, like Hey, I could do that, and it just wouldn't go away. I thought I could at least ask, and if you said no, then it wouldn't be a big deal."
So, it's exactly what Eddie thought. "Right. Yeah. You were just— trying it out with someone you know, got it." Eddie turns and pushes his hands into his hair, tugging on it a bit. Stupid pretty boys and their stupid eyes, making Eddie feel things when all he is is a placeholder, an experiment.
Steve makes a soft noise and grabs Eddie by the arm. Eddie relents as Steve turns him back around so he can look at him. "Eddie, that wasn't— Yeah, okay. I didn't really like, think about it before Dustin brought it up. But I know I like being around you, and I know I liked that, so maybe— If you like me, maybe you'd be willing to give me a shot?"
He looks so earnest, so hopeful, those hazel eyes wide and wanting. There's no world in which Eddie would even want to turn him down. Instead he takes Steve's hand and rubs his thumb over Steve's knuckles. "If I liked that, he says. Like it wasn't a fucking dream come true."
Steve breaks into a beaming smile and steps closer. "Oh yeah? Dream about that often?" he asks, and Eddie rolls his eyes a little even as he sways into Steve's space.
Cocky motherfucker.
"Do I dream about the hottest guy I've ever seen giving me a blowjob like he was made for it? Yeah, might have happened once or twice, baby."
Steve huffs and closes the gap between them, pressing their lips together in a chaste, achingly sweet kiss. Eddie hums into it and moves his free hand to Steve's hip, his fingers just slipping under the hem of his shirt. S
Before they can do anything more, a banging comes from the door behind them, along with an annoyed "Can you two hurry up?! We need to get started if we want to finish on time!"
Eddie makes a mental note to kill Dustin's character tonight as he turns, still holding on to Steve. "Have some fucking patience, Henderson! Go back downstairs before I make you roll with disadvantage all night!"
Dustin squawks a "What?! That's not fair!" and Eddie just rolls his eyes while Steve presses his face to Eddie's shoulder, muffling his laughter.
"Now, Dustin!"
Dustin grumbles but stomps off, and Eddie wraps his arms around Steve's waist. "Something funny, Stevie?"
Steve shakes his head. "I just think it's funny that this whole thing happened because Dustin thought you were being too hard on them, but it's looking like you'll be even worse now."
"Oh yeah," Eddie says with a grin. He gives Steve another quick kiss and says "I'm gonna be a monster now, because instead of being up here kissing you, I have to go listen to them argue for hours."
"You love them," Steve counters, and yeah, Eddie does. "You better go before they decide to break the door down."
Eddie nods and reluctantly pulls away. "We, uh. We can talk more about this later, but for now— Boyfriends? Maybe?"
Steve beams and nods. "Yeah. Boyfriends. Now go have fun."
Edit: Inspiration post found!
#steve once again speed running his sexuality crisis#always a favorite of mine#steddie#steddie fic#steve harrington#eddie munson#joey writes
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share my world
synopsis : your boyfriend has a weird little habit of squeezing your fingers. and, naturally, he won't tell you why.
an. i make a stupid "you cant just say perchance" joke here bc i think its very funny. it's corny, so beware!

"so, are we ever gonna talk about this ?"
if katsuki is startled by the fact that you're awake, he barely let's it show besides the way his eyes widen just slightly in the darkness of the room, you're eyes have adjusted enough thanks to the light of the moon peeking through the curtains.
"gonna talk about what ?" he asks sluggishly, eyes drifting downward towards your hands again. or more specifically your fingers.
"talk about why you keep squeezing my fingers when you think i don't notice ?" you explain. katsuki takes about ten seconds to respond. his eyes dart to you when you finish talking. when he looks away again he squints and squeezes your finger with his thumb and pointer almost by reflex.
"s'not like i'm trynna be sneaky.."
you realise he's trying to weasel his way out of your question with a vague answer, so you insist. "and it's always my ring finger too, is it like crooked or something ?" you joke. that rewards you with a huff of laughter from your boyfriend, who squeezes your ring finger tight.
"yeah, m'trynna—set your shit straight." he groans, pretending to struggle as you whine in discomfort. trying to wiggle your finger out of his grip.
when he grants you some mercy and loosens up (still not letting go) he speaks again "if it bothers you so bad why didn't ya say nothin' ?"
"doesn't bother me, perchance.. just wanna know what the big deal is." you reassure, shrugging deeper into his sheets.
he raises an eyebrow holding back a smile "ya can't just say perchance, moron." you stick your tongue out at him as you laugh "that's the joke, asswipe. now quit dodging the question !" you snark, he squeezes your nose in retaliation.
he grunts, looking around the room for anything to save him from talking. he groans when he doesn't find anything.
"i just—it's—i just—do it cuz' i wanna, that a problem ?" he stutters defensively. you roll your eyes, squeezing his nose back, chuckling when he dashes away and glares like you'd smacked him.
"of course not, suki."
"good. quit interrogating me then."
you roll your eyes with a sigh, knowing this is the most you'll get out of your cryptic boyfriend. "that's gonna make me even more curious, y'know ?"
"tough luck. guess y'r just gonna have to live with that. 'night." he settles, and the bastard actually closes his eyes, pulling you closer like his personal plushie. you push at his shoulder "dick." you mutter, he chuckles quietly.
and yeah, you guess you are gonna have to live with that, until you forget about it that is. only for you to remember again and ask him this exact question again and though you're being patient for now, katsuki knows that sooner or later you'll get restless. always so damn impatient, he thinks to himself.
well, not like he could say much, but he'll keep that thought to himself.
and he's being pretty patient right now, he thinks. squeezing your ring finger tight when he realises your breathing has slowed and you'd fallen asleep. he rubs at the spot where he hopes, he prays, you'll allow him to put a ring on soon.
you were just going to have to live with this for a little bit longer in the meantime.

#cash speaks <3#bakugou katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugou x reader#bakugo fluff#bakugou imagine#bakugou x reader#katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugou katsuki#cash's ramblings for the unusual#bakugo katsuki x reader#bakugou x fem!reader#bakugou drabble#bakugou fluff#bakugou katuski x reader#katsuki bakugo fluff#katsuki x you#katsuki x y/n#katsuki bakugou x female reader#bakugou x you#bakugou x y/n#katsuki bakugou x you#katsuki bakugo x you#katsuki bakugo x y/n#katsuki bakugo x female reader
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i don't like the full vision of mcu. i'd like to be able to work on my own concepts beginning from malekith and loki
#( ooc ).#the world from drax's pov is also interesting right#it's tough finding people who'll accept that#i still have questions i need answered about how/where to improve in writing because i'm still stuck with the same problem of not being able#to find people who want to interact#so lmk privately#if it's to keep to simplistic brain mush my answer is no#grammar - i can make better or worse. i usually leave in grammar mistakes on purpose#idk i am lazy#and i don't like asking the same qn 100 times but i'm quite close to the end
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Anchor
Summary: Bucky Barnes x fe!Reader -> Bucky is there for you when no-one else is.
Disclaimer: Hurt/comfort fic, little angst, little fluff, Bucky is there for the reader, mentions of missions going wrong and agents getting hurt, quiet comfort. Not Proof Read.
The waiting room was completely empty. Down the hallway, a nurse was signing something on a chart, a doctor was walking to another wing and in the other direction was the Shield agent you’d been assigned to rescue.
The mission had been tough. Tougher than you’d had in a long time. But you survived. You both did. You got both you and the agent out.
You’d been checked over three hours ago. Muddy, covered in ash, some dried blood. But no damage. Physically, at least. Meanwhile, the agent was still in surgery for internal bleeding.
You were trying your best to take some deep breaths. Trying to keep your nerves calm and controlled. But the longer time went on, the harder it was getting.
That was when he showed up. Bucky Barnes. The one man you’d barely spoken to despite working together for the last six years. It was like he had some kind of special ability to know when you needed someone and…you were always more than grateful that he was the one to show up.
He didn’t say anything. He was still in his tactical gear so you could only guess he’d finished up mentoring the training module for the day. He just walked down the hallway quietly before sitting beside you. He looked at you. He’d known you for so long, he didn’t need to study you anymore. He didn’t need to read into the microexpressions you couldn’t hide.
He just knew.
You barely even looked at him before the tears started falling.
If it had been anyone else, you would have been able to hold your nerve. You would have forced yourself to talk through it, to tell them what the doctors told you and hold onto the hope they’d tell you to have.
But not with Bucky.
With Bucky you were safe. Safe enough to let the walls come crashing down without panicking over how quickly you’d have to pick the bricks back up again.
His arm wrapped around your back as he held you close to his chest, his hand in your hair. This thumb rubbed at your temple, like it usually would when he laid his cheek on the top of your head.
He didn’t whisper comforting words. He didn’t tell you that you’d be okay or that you did a good job. He could tell you that later. Right then, you just needed to be held. To be shown you were safe. The world wasn’t ending…not in the hospital waiting room, at least. You’d held your own without even a small break for a long, long time. You didn’t need to hold it anymore.
Bucky didn’t keep track of time or how long he held you. He would have held you till the end of time if it meant you’d be ten percent better than when he first walked in.
He could remember the first time he’d held you.
One of the agents you were close to in your division had been helping the team out for six months. On one of the missions, they’d gotten hurt. Their family had met you at the hospital with the rest of the team.
Bucky had stayed in the back, watching as everything unfolded. How their mother asked the doctors ten different questions, waited for their answers and five minutes later asked you the same questions, along with, “Why didn’t you help them?”.
Sam had stepped in, answering that particular question for you. You didn’t know how to answer it. But Bucky could see your mind answering it for you. But it was all a lie. They knew what they were getting themselves in for, and though Bucky hadn’t said too much to them, he knew they wouldn’t want you to be asked something like that; it wasn’t up to you to keep them safe.
Bucky watched as nurses pulled you aside and told you things before they let everyone else know. He watched as you were asked to sign different sheets of paper and fill in far too much information.
Eventually, all the questions and voices and tears got to be too much. Whilst everyone talked, you took an opportunity to step away for a moment. Bucky had followed after you. He wasn’t going to let you be alone when what you needed in that moment was the complete opposite.
He’d found you down an empty corridor trying to force the overwhelming tears and sobs back into your body.
Even then he didn’t say anything. He just walked towards you and held out his hand, touching your shoulder to turn you. You hugged him without thinking about it and he held you tight. His hand held the back of your head, his thumb gently rubbing back and forth.
He could feel your fingers digging tightly into his skin, but it didn’t hurt. You were holding onto him like an anchor.
It was still the same.
With his arm around your back, your fingers held onto his bicep. Maybe you hadn’t talked much in the last six years. No more than standard co-workers who saw each other maybe once or twice a week. Maybe he wasn’t your best friend.
But he was your Anchor.
He was your safe space.
He was the one person you could turn to and know…you didn’t need to be okay. You didn’t need to be strong and unemotional.
With him, you could let your walls down. And he never judged. Not for a moment.
A few hours passed before he eventually spoke.
“Stay here. I’ll be back.”
He’d wiped away your tears and kissed the side of your head before standing, not letting go of your hand until he had to. He’d walked over to the nurses station and asked for a couple supplies before pulling out his phone as they walked away. They’d brought them almost instantly. He thanked them before walking back to you.
That was when he crouched in front of you, his hand on your thigh. “I’m gonna clean you up a little. Is that okay?”
You nodded and he opened up the kit before wiping the tear, mud and blood stains away from your skin. He dabbed carefully as some smaller grazes that had been missed.
“I’m gonna take you home.” He continued talking before you could speak after shaking your head. “I’ve already texted Sam. He’s gonna send one of Barton’s team down here. If anything happens, they can deal with it. You need to rest and get some decent sleep.”
When he’d finished up, he handed the spare supplies back, thanking the nurses once more before returning to you. He’d opened up the passenger side door to help you in. And by the time he got you home, you were already asleep.
You only woke when you felt your head hit something soft.
“Bucky?”
“I’m here,” he whispered, softly.
“Stay?”
“Okay.”
Taking off his boots, he climbed on top of the bed and laid beside you. You were asleep instantly.
Neither of you talked about it in the morning. But Bucky stayed with you all day. When you went back to the hospital, when you handed your report back in and when you came back home.
After dinner, you sat beside him and he lifted his arm, letting you settle beside him as he continued reading. Neither of you really had to talk. But you knew something for certain.
For as much as you and Bucky rarely talked, you’d shared more conversations than you could count.
He was your Anchor. And nothing would ever change that.
#bucky fic#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x you#bucky hurt/comfort#bucky comfort fic#bucky barnes fic#fluff#angst#james bucky barnes#james buchanan barnes#the winter soldier#winter soldier#captain america winter soldier#mcu#marvel#james bucky barnes x reader#james bucky buchannan barnes#winter soldier x reader#bucky x y/n#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fandom#bucky x reader#bucky x you#hurt/comfort#bucky barnes imagine#captain america
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📝 skz reaction - you're being a clingy baby
pairing. ot8!skz x gn!reader (individually)
type. fluff fluff fluffff, requested <3
warnings. gender neutral reader, curse words (thats how i show my enthusiasm okay)
a/n. i know last time i was like "meh sue me for not putting the boys in the 'right' order" but you know what, i actually like it like that. my boy jeongin is always last, he deserve to be first so i think i'm just gonna keep it like that when it comes to skz reactions :)



jeongin ⊹ ࣪ ˖ he would tease you like hell about it until one day you actually start crying and he feels so fucking bad he never does it again. (to be fair he probably laughed when you first started crying but when he realized they were real tears? he is panicking). after that he never denies you again and makes sure to give you attention whenever you need it. you're the only person he allows to be clingy and needy with him. which the boys are kinda petty about because they sure aren't allowed to be clingy with their maknae they love so much lol. they'd tease him sooo bad about it but every time he says it's different for you. you get special privileges.
seungmin ⊹ ࣪ ˖ he would def be annoyed when you're being clingy, not because he actually minds it but mostly because he knows you sometimes push it JUST to annoy him lmao. so in return he would deny you just for fun or when you ask him cute stuff he'd purposely answer seriously or act like he doesn't understand your request until you start wailing like a lost cat and then he can't resist anymore. oh and also, he loves to act that way when you're in public but behind closed doors? he can be just as clingy, it's different from when you are but still. he's not necessarily needy, but he wants. you. close. to him. he'd be the type to constantly want to be around you and get pouty when you can't.
felix ⊹ ࣪ ˖ honestly being clingy with felix only means one thing... you're spoiled rotten. you need hugs and cuddles? he will RUN to give them to you. you just want to stick to him like glue? 'sure baby come here'. you want to lay on his lap while he's playing games? not a problem. you don't even understand how you're feeling but you know you need to be with him? he will be there, arms wide open for you no questions asked. all your wishes will be executed because its just how it works between you two. and thing is, the treatment he gives you? you give it right back. so at this point, it's not even a question or a thought. it's simply second nature.
han ⊹ ࣪ ˖ getting han's attention when you're feeling clingy? it's tough. either because he will get side tracked by any little thing, despite his good intentions, so you'll have to remind him to stay with you or to give you a hug. orrrr he will goof off like crazy and will not leave you alone. until the point where you're physically trying to get as far away from him as possible. oh and he'd chase you, no worries "but babyyyy you said you needed love and attention. stop running." with the scariest most mischievous smile in the world until you actually start running away and hide from him because he will smother you with love. (but let's be honest you always end up letting him catch you because come on... you'll take all the love he'll give you)
hyunjin ⊹ ࣪ ˖ he does not mind at all when you're being clingy. in fact he LOVES it. in skz, there is a holy trinity of baby talker and you can bet your ass he's one of them. he will baby talk (to the other boys utmost horror) and repeat your requests with the baby voice until everyone in the room physically cringe. oh and he's mean, he's a real lil bitch, so he will deny you cuddles just so you can pout harder. his heart melts at the sight of it and he can't help but want more. still, it'd only take you to give him the eyes before he'd giggle and pull you in for a big big hug while he digs in nose in the crook of your neck where you just smell so so good.
changbin ⊹ ࣪ ˖ being clingy with binnie can go one of two ways. first, he's just just not gonna mind at all. he'd notice you seem more clingy than usual and just signal for you to come next to him. he'd keep babbling or doing whatever it is he's doing but he'd put his arms around you mindlessly stroking your back and giving you little kisses on your forehead... OR he would return it ten times worse. i'm talking full on baby voice (member number 2 of the holy trinity), pinching your cheeks, exagerating your requests, jumping on your lap and he'd act clingy just to make you laugh. "aw my little baby needs cuddles? you feeling clingy? you want to sit on my lap? what if I sit on your lap instead?" "what no bin that's not- BIN YOU'RE SO HEAVY IM GONNA DIE"
minho ⊹ ࣪ ˖ honestly, he does not care. like at all, the teasing would be minimal but all in all he'd let you do whatever it is you want to do, give you whatever it is you need. because fine he likes to tease ppl, but he also loves cuddles and physical touch even if he would never admit it. often ppl won't dare to be clingy with him because of his black cat personality, but you've always been able to see behind that façade and to never let it scare you. so you do not hesitate to latch on his arm or rest your head in the crook of his neck while he's doing something. and it always feel like a sweet sweet reward when he simply drapes his arms around you, not even reacting to your touch like it's the most normal thing and second nature thing in the world for him.
bangchan ⊹ ࣪ ˖ uhm yeah bangchan? absolutely adores when you're clingy. in fact, he would get whiny if you're not constantly requesting cuddles and hugs and little kisses. he would also be a master of the baby voice and obliging to your every demand. he just loves to be needed and the way you need him makes him feel light as a feather. he'd come up to you "what is you need babe?" and you'd pout and ask whatever it is you want wether its a hug or cuddles or some time with him "i don't think i heard you well the first time. want to repeat that?" but right before you'd say it again he'd squish your cheeks together so you have the cutest pout on your mouth and you'd mumble than you can't exactly talk like that but he'd insist "no no you can, go ahead baby" you'd sigh and oblige "mhm-want-mhug?" and this man would squeal like a toddler because he thinks youre so cute he’s going to explode. chan does have the profile of someone with love aggresion and so he'd lovingly and agressively give you anything you want :)
#ilya writes#stray kids fanfic#stray kids x reader#stray kids#bang chan#lee know#changbin#hyunjin#han skz#felix skz#seungmin skz#i.n skz#stray kids fluff#ilya’s skz reaction
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College Boy!Sukuna accidentally knocking you up
A while ago, I saw a post that asked which of our faves accidentally knocks us up, and I answered it with "CollegeBoy!Sukuna." So here is the fic about that ;)
Modern!Sukuna x Reader (female). Fluff. College AU. Light angst with a happy end. 2k words. Pregnancy, mentions of Sukuna smoking a cigarette. All characters are of age. Minors don't interact. Divider@/plutism + dollsciples
"Damn, princess, how long does that shitty thing need?"
Sukuna has dropped his usual act of aloofness. For once, there is no teasing comment coming out of his mouth, no arrogant smirk, no flirty wink, and no charming look out of those beautiful maroon eyes. Your usually so arrogant and tough bad boy is scared shitless.
For the last few minutes, he has been playing with his tongue-piercing continuously, driving you almost insane with the constant noise of the metal barbell connecting with Sukuna's teeth. But you can't blame him. You are even more nervous than Sukuna.
You lean closer to the old couch table again, looking at the pregnancy test that's lying there, and your stomach twists painfully. There's a change now. A second line has appeared on the little test strip. You feel your heart drop.
The alarm on your phone goes off right at that moment, making you jump as you grab the test with shaky fingers. Holding the sheet with the instructions in the other hand, you read them feverishly as if you haven't already learned them by heart. As if you don't already know what the two lines mean!
Sukuna leans across the table, too,
"What does it say?"
But you only hear his voice muffled as if you are underwater. You stare at the two lines on the pregnancy test, feeling your head spin. Sukuna's large hand darts out and wraps around your trembling wrist, pulling your hand and the test towards him while repeating his question more urgently this time.
But you can't say anything and just throw the test in Sukuna's lap. He grabs it and stares at it, his maroon eyes going wide as comprehension dawns on his beautiful, tattooed face.
"Fuck."
That's all he says, and then he looks at you with wide eyes, shock and fear written all over his face. He looks younger somehow, like a scared little boy. His lips open, but no words come out. He closes them again and gulps hard.
And then Sukuna gets up from the couch and practically bolts from the small living room, walking so fast that he has reached the apartment door before you even realize what he's doing.
His large hand is already on the door handle, pushing it open when your mind finally catches up with what is going on, and you feel like tumbling into darkness.
Sukuna is going to run, isn't he? Of course, he's going to leave! Of course, a guy like him is only interested in having fun but no responsibility! Of course, he will always stay the bad boy who just likes to party and fuck and do whatever the hell he wants! And a pregnant girlfriend is the last thing he needs!
Your hands ball into fists. You're about to scream at him or cry or break down.
But before you can do any of that, Sukuna stops in the doorway.
He is standing there with his back to you, so tall that his hair is almost brushing against the doorframe. You watch him fumble ungracefully with his cigarettes in a way that is completely untypical for him, nearly dropping the pack and needing several tries to light a cigarette before he brings it to his lips with a shaky hand and takes a deep drag.
You let out a slow breath, slumping back against the couch.
He didn't leave.
Sukuna turns his head slowly to look at you over his broad shoulder. Suddenly, his eyes widen, and he bangs the door shut and quickly strides back to the small living area, bending down to hastily stub his cigarette out in the ashtray on the couch table.
"Shit, I forgot that I shouldn't smoke when you are...," he stops mid-sentence, and his eyes wander to your belly, "when you are... ah fuck..."
Sukuna runs a trembling, tattooed hand through his pink hair. You both stare at each other for a long moment, both unable to say the words out loud. But your mind screams them at you:
Pregnant. You are pregnant with Sukuna's baby!
You have no idea how it even happened. Were Sukuna and you not careful enough? Maybe too horny and too drunk after one of the various parties you went to? Did a condom rip, and you didn't realize it? Maybe if it was any other month, things would have gone differently, but you had exams and were in a constant state of stress. You simply didn't have the mind to worry about anything else but studying and then fucking like bunnies for stress relief!
You feel so stupid. You were always so sure that something like this would never happen to you. An accidental pregnancy was something that only happened to those girls in those trashy reality TV shows!
Well, now look at you.
Pregnant from your college sweetheart, the bad boy with the face tattoos. The guy you are head over heels in love with but who you didn't even dare bring home to your parents yet because they took one look at a picture of the two of you, saw Sukuna's tattooed face and his pink hair, and deemed him a troublemaker who will only drag their sweet daughter into the gutter with him. And now he even managed to accidentally knock you up, and it will just be the cherry on top!
Finally, the tears spill over, and a sob escapes your trembling lips. Instinctively, you hug yourself, but your arms get pushed away just a second later, when Sukuna is pulling you to your feet and into his strong, tattooed arms, pulling you against him, holding you so tight you find it hard to breathe.
His lips press against your forehead, leaving little kisses and murmuring against your skin,
"I am sorry for almost running out that door like a fucking coward. I'm sorry, baby."
"It's ok, Kuna. You stopped and came back. That's what counts. But... I... I am so scared."
You sniffle and press yourself against Sukuna's tall, muscular body, seeking the comfort of his broad chest and his strong arms, which feel like home, letting your tears soak Sukuna's t-shirt that smells like him, like cigarette smoke and cherry blossoms and his typical sexy cologne.
Sukuna's arms tighten around you, and he makes a choked-up sound that you have never heard from him before. You feel him gulp hard, and then he speaks up in that low, velvety voice that sounds so much more serious than ever before,
"I promise I won't run. We're in this together. I got scared, too, because I am not the dad type of guy. I don't even have any idea how a dad is supposed to be because I've never had one. I mean, fuck! I am a mess! I don't even know what I want apart from living in the moment, having fun, being with you, and spending time with my brother. But you're my girl, and I'll be damned if I leave you alone with this! I won't run, princess, I promise."
You hear a strange noise, only to realize that it is coming from your own mouth, a strangled sob. You snuggle closer against Sukuna's chest, hiding your face in his t-shirt, clinging desperately to him, overwhelmed with the situation. But he is there for you. He rests his chin on top of your head and holds you, swaying you slightly from side to side.
His low voice is calm when he asks,
"Do you want to keep it?"
"I... I didn't even have the right mind to think about it yet."
Sukuna nods, and his arms tighten around you,
"It's ok. Take your time. If you want to get rid of it, then I will drive you to the hospital and take care of you afterward. And if you decide to have the baby... then I will be a dad. I never imagined myself with a kid, but this is different. This is our baby. And I know what it's like to grow up without parents. I don't want that for my child. My grandpa did a pretty good job with Yuuji and me before he became sick, but it's not the same as having a mom and a dad, I think. I won't let that happen to our kid."
You let out a shaky breath, feeling a huge weight leave your shoulders at Sukuna's reassurance. You can see things a bit clearer now. And maybe it's not as hopeless as you thought.
Technically, you are old enough to be a mom, and you could just pause your studies for a semester or two and then return to your classes. Of course, things won't be as carefree anymore, and you will have a huge responsibility. On top of that, you really have no idea what life with a baby will be like. But you know now that you won't be alone with it.
You will have the boy you love by your side. No, you correct yourself, not the boy you love, but the man you love. Because the way Sukuna reacted so maturely and responsibly showed you that he isn't a boy anymore. He is a man. Your man. And you are even beginning to be able to imagine him as a dad. He is doing a pretty decent job as Yuuji's brother, too, after all, isn't he? Sure, Yuuji is the same age as Sukuna, but Sukuna still always acts like the big brother. So protective and caring, in a grumpy way, but sweet nonetheless.
Suddenly, the thought of a miniature version of Sukuna running around doesn't seem so scary anymore. You catch yourself wondering what your baby would look like if you decide to have it. Will it have Sukuna's eyes?
You lift your head to look up at him, and Sukuna's gaze meets yours. He looks deeply into your eyes, almost making you nervous with how intense those beautiful maroon eyes look at you,
"If you want to keep it, I will make damn sure you and the kid have it good. I promise you, princess. I am not going to run like some loser. I will learn everything about taking care of a child and how to be a dad and get my shit together. I will even stop smoking. I just... I love you, and this will be our little family, and I will fucking protect it with my life! We will make this work. We can move in together. We can ask Yuuji to babysit, and I can take the little gremlin to classes with me. I had someone do that in my history class, you know? Had his ugly little brat in a baby carrier. I could do that, too. Only difference is that our baby will be super pretty, of course."
You chuckle softly despite the shock, a mix of a sob and a laugh, feeling lighter now that you know your boyfriend will be there for you.
"I love you too, Sukuna. Thank you."
"No need to thank me. We will get through this together, no matter what you decide."
You snuggle against Sukuna's tall, muscular body and smile shakily up at him, sure that your pupils must have transformed into little hearts from the way your chest feels as if it's overflowing with love for your boyfriend. Your arrogant, rude, bad boy of a boyfriend, who, deep down, is such a good guy for the people he loves.
You smile and get on your tiptoes to press a kiss to Sukuna's tattooed jaw, a tender lingering touch, before you tell him softly,
"Let's sleep over it for a night or two, and then we'll decide what to do. But either way, I want you to know that you sound like you would be an amazing dad. I guess having your baby would be quite nice."
You can see Sukuna's gaze soften, and then he smirks that attractive smirk at you and pulls you even closer against him, leaning down so his lips brush over yours when he says,
"Let's see if you will still say that when the little brat turns out to be anything like me. I wasn't an easy child."
And you laugh and reach up to ruffle Sukuna's pink hair affectionately, tangling your fingers in the soft, pink strands,
"Well, how lucky that I have you by my side to look after Sukuna Number 2 then."
You feel Sukuna grin against your lips, and then he kisses you, slow and tender, and you practically melt against him.
You are still nervous but not as scared anymore. Sukuna is right: You are going to do this together. No matter what, you have Sukuna by your side. And, even though he doesn't look like it, your bad boy is actually a good man.
And maybe your decision is already made because the mental image of Sukuna going to class with a baby carrier strapped to his broad chest just won't leave your mind anymore.
SIGHHHHHH I think I would want his baby 😭
Thank you so much for reading! I love the mess that CollegeBoy!Sukuna is. He is very dear to me 💗 I am so proud of him for being so mature about this!! A good man and a good soon-to-be daddy.
In my head, I was singing "Papa, don't preach" the whole time while writing this ;)
Comments and reblogs would be very sweet.
Update: Part 2 Option A (Reader has an abortion) Part 2 Option B (Reader decides to have the baby)
#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n#sukuna#sukuna fluff#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jjk fluff#ryomen sukuna#tw pregnancy
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what if... caleb got into an "accident"
warnings: none, just fluff .𖥔 ݁ ˖ : inspired by this :)
An emergency landing. Or at least that was what Caleb said to you over the phone.
You were confident in him, that's for sure. But sometimes you just can't shake the worry of something going wrong during a mission. So when you got a call from Caleb himself informing you of his emergency landing, your heart rate immediately picked up— mind racing to the possibilities.
Was he hurt? Where is he? What happened? Will he get home? Is he okay? Is it bad?
Caleb tried to calm you down, you wanted him to turn his camera on to see him but he insisted no due to confidentiality of the mission— when in reality, he just wanted to hide his bloody state from you to keep you from being hysterical.
Coincidentally, you were in the middle of watching a TV show when he called, it was on commercial now but when screen flashed breaking news reporting a crash site of one of the Farspace Fleets crafts holding the current colonel you immediately started crying and sobbing over the phone.
"YOU SAID IT WAS AN EMERGENCY LANDING! CALEB THAT'S CALLED A CRASH!" You sobbed at him, raising your voice so loud that you could barely hear what the TV was saying.
"Hey- look, it's not that bad I promise, just a cras-"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN JUST A CRASH!? CALEB GO HOME NOW. I DON'T WANT YOU THERE, PLEASE!" Your voice was cracking both from your crying and screaming but you didn't care, eyes drifting to the screen— you cried even harder seeing how bad the wreck was. "Pips-"
"NO. HOME. NOW."
» »
To say that the wait was torture would be an understatement. After your scream at him to go home, Caleb only sighed and whispered a small okay before ending the call— only for you to ring him again urging to stay on the phone in case anything happens.
Caleb smiled at himself seeing how worried you are. You really do care about him a lot, and today just magnified that. It was cute hearing your voice despite it cracking and raspy, however, it did break his heart just a little bit; hearing your sniffles while he drives and your ting voice asking him where he was.
The two of you barely talked during the drive, just quick questions and even quicker answers. You wanted to rest your voice and Caleb knew that, thus, he stayed relatively quiet. Just small hums to let you know he was still there.
He didn't had the time to make himself look presentable, just poorly wrapped a badge around his cut right arm to prevent infection and stop bleeding— other than that, he looked like a mess. Torn, bloody, dirty uniform and just an overall unkept apperance. Thank the heavens for his handsome face to save the look.
You were waiting at the very doorstep of his front door. Phone sat on the granite floor, red teary eyes, puffy face, and a very evident pout on your lips. So cute; Caleb thought. You weren't even sitting, you were standing while waiting for him. Under watchful eyes, Caleb got out of the car— a gasp left your mouth and you immediately ran to him.
You wanted to hug him but stopped just a foot away from him even though he already had his arms open. For the probably nth time today, you started crying again.
"Oh, pips.. It's okay, I'm okay." Caleb cooed, patting your head twice before pressing it to his chest to embrace you in a hug. Your hands immediately wrapped around his torso, nuzzling your face deeper into him as you cried. Looking up at him and cradling his face in your hands. "Don't you ever! Do that again!" You scold him, lines burrowing between your eyebrows.
Caleb chuckles, nodding his head and leaning in to kiss your forehead, then your nose, then your lips. He bends his body to math your height before saying "I promise, never again. Especially now that I know how sad my boss baby gets."
Your lips wobble as more tears build up in your eyes. Your hands explore his body, feeling every bit of dust, blood, and torn fabric on his uniform. His tough left hand, and then finally his right hand where a porrly wrapped gash wrapped around it. Eyes widening, you look at him and he cocks his head sideways at you.
"Y- you're hurt.. Caleb! Why didn't you tend to it! Do you want both your arms to be metal now or something!" You scold him once more, now glaring at him. "Awe, my pips is so worried about me!"
"Caleb!" You softly hit his chest.
"It's only a small cut squeak, I'll be fine."
"Don't care! Get inside, you're wounded and it needs to be healed." You tug on his metal arm as you drag him inside the house. Once in, you assist him in taking his coat and boots off before guiding him to the bathroom and getting the very used and handy first aid kit.
Caleb's already took of the second layer of his uniform leaving him only in a white long sleeve button up. Slowly, he unbottons it with his left hand as you carefully take of the gash on his right. You pout even more when you see how deep the cut was on his skin.
You begin to do your work in silence, focus completely on sanitizing and treating his wound. He watches in adoration as you move on him, long gone the brave tough colonel Caleb of the Farspace Fleet as a crippling fear builds within him. He can't lose you, he can't lose this.
"Be more careful nextime, please Caleb. I don't want to lose you anymore." You look at him directly in the eye after finishing your work. Caleb's eyes soften when you embrace him in a hug, resting your face on his exposed skin while he rests his head on top of yours.
You hear his heartbeat, pressing yourself even more. Never letting go of your touch on him.
While the two of you clean yourself in the bathtub, your touch on him lingers as you wash his hair, massaging his scalp in the process.
While he cooks for dinner in the kitchen, you cling on him like a koala, wrapping your legs around his waist while you piggy back him.
While you lay in bed telling each other recaps of what happened while each other was away as you always do, your hand lays on his chest feelings his heartbeat. Legs intertwined so as your arms, and ultimately— your soul.
An unspoken promise of forever.
#﹙🍎﹚cc for lads CALEB.ᐟ#mc/reader is traumatized#don't be scared by the title </3 promise it's not bad#lads caleb#love and deepspace caleb#lnds caleb#caleb x reader#caleb x you#caleb x y/n#caleb x mc#caleb xia#lnds#love and deepspace#caleb fluff#lads fluff#caleb angst#lads angst
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The First Time
Pairing: Benjamin "Dex" Poindexter x Reader
Genre: FLUFF, angst, SMUTTTT 18+!!!!
Summary: Dex and his neighbor become good friends, so much so she only trusts him to take her virginity.
Based off this anon message
Note: I'M SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT BUT HERE IT IS I HOPE YOU GUYS LOVE IT
She’s the purest thing he’s ever known, and she lives right down the hall from him. Dex liked to keep his space neat and tidy; it was never dirty or out of order. He never allowed anyone into his space. Dex valued his privacy and, even more so, his alone time, despite feeling the lows of such often. Everything was a routine he had to strictly follow: wake up, shower, get ready for work, work, come home, be alone.
She ended up fitting into his routine, somehow. Only someone as pure and kind as she could find her way into Dex’s space--and so easily, too. She had recently graduated from New York University with a degree in forensic science and was living alone for the first time.
He’ll never forget when she started talking to him in the elevator, one rainy evening.
“What floor?” He asked her.
“6,” she replied. It was the same as his. Dex clicked the elevator button.
“You work for the FBI?” She couldn’t help but notice the large letters on the sleeve of his navy blue jacket. Dex typically took it off before going out in public, but that day’s mission had exhausted him so much, he forgot to.
“Yes,” Dex answered and shifted uncomfortably. He wasn’t used to friendly conversation with strangers. It was natural for him to have his guard up.
“That’s cool,” she sighed. “I just graduated from NYU last year. I got a job at the 15th Precinct in their forensics department, but working for the FBI is a dream of mine. Do you like it?”
“It’s tough,” Dex said. “It pays the bills.”
The elevator dinged. If he weren’t on the same floor as her, he’d be happy. He let her exit the elevator first and trailed slowly behind her. She waited for him so they could walk in tandem. He sighed, realizing he had no escape.
“Do you mind if I come by sometime and ask you questions about your job? I’m new to the area—new to living here, and I’d like to know that I have a personal FBI agent to call a neighbor and—friend,” she smiled at him. Dex squinted his eyes slightly, amused by her outgoing personality and interest in his job. He wasn’t particularly a fan of being put on the spot like this, but seeing the way she looked so hopeful at him—who was he to say no?
“Sure.”
And that’s how she ended up sitting across from him at his kitchen table, notebook on her right side, a cup of decaf coffee on her left. It had been like this for a year now—like clockwork, she was at his door at 11 PM, sometimes even later (depending on when he came home from work) to talk about his day and ask questions about anything related to his job. Dex grew to look forward to these late-night conversations with her—it was oddly reminiscent of his meetings with Dr. Mercer.
Now, he knew these weren’t therapy sessions, and if anything, he was the one giving her advice and information, but it was comforting to talk to her about his day. He found comfort in explaining his job duties and answering any curiosities she had. She was kind, probably the kindest thing in his life right now, and he needed that. He found it harder to sleep if she didn’t come by and spend an hour with him talking about his job.
“Wow,” she breathed. “So when you guys detain whoever you need to, how soon does forensics show up to the scene?”
“They’re already on their way before we even lock the handcuffs,” Dex said. He watched as she scribbled something in her notebook. He only recently noticed how attracted he was to her—he only ever saw her at night, and she was always, more often than not, in her pajamas. He started to take notice of her rotation. Last week, she had light pink polka dot ones on. Tonight, she’s in a plain light blue set. Next was probably her black silk ones. It was always in her natural state that he saw her. No makeup, disheveled hair. Friendly smile. Curious and his favorite part, attentive, eyes.
He rarely ever saw her during the day. He was up at the crack of dawn going to the headquarters, and she was always in three hours later. She always came home before him, and when she’d hear Dex’s familiar knock on her door, she knew he was ready for their nightly catch-up.
Neighbors catching up…friends, like she said one time. That’s what they were, Dex supposed.
He didn’t think of this as an almost every night thing. After the first few nights, he let her into his apartment, Dex thought it was a done deal. On the fifth night, just as he was about to get in bed, he heard a knock at his door.
“I brought ice cream,” she was holding two tubs of Ben and Jerry’s in her hands, and squeezing her notebook under her arm. “Mint chocolate cookie or strawberry cheesecake.”
Dex grabbed the mint chocolate cookie from her grasp and let her inside with a tired smile.
He had also grown a bit protective over her as her neighbor.
He remembered one time he got home from work at 10:30 PM—earlier than usual. He knocked on her door three times—it was his signal that he was ready and home—but there was no answer on the other side of the door. Dex pressed his ear against it and listened for any movement or sound. Nothing. He checked his watch and saw it was nearly 11:00 PM. It wasn’t like her to not be home already.
He pulled out his phone and called her. It immediately went to voicemail.
Dex clicked his phone off and rested it on his lips. The increasing heaviness in his chest was something he only felt when he was on missions—he was anxious. Is she okay?
Something inside of him locked, or maybe, unlocked at the thought of her never coming home. The thought of her never sitting across from him at his kitchen table ever again. It unlocked a feeling he kept hidden away as best as he could, despite it being the most constant thing in his life. Feeling abandoned—left behind. Alone.
For the first time in his life, Dex didn’t want to be alone.
Dex was too numb to go back into his apartment. He pressed his back against the wall of the hallway and slid down to sit on the floor. He decided he would wait there until she came home.
After an hour of staring into nothing, but mentally replaying all the times he’s had someone leave him, the elevator doors dinged. Dex was too tired to look at who it was, too afraid of disappointment if it wasn’t her. He kept his eyes forward.
“Dex?” She started walking faster towards him. “Are you okay?” Dex whipped his head up and immediately stood up on his feet.
“Yeah,” Dex nodded, his voice feeling thick and dry. “I was—worried. About you. Your phone…”
“It died,” she explained. “And I forgot my charger. I ended up staying late to finish up some work. You waited for me here?” She asked with a hint of a smile on her face.
“Yeah,” Dex nodded, meeting her eyes finally. She still looked as wide awake as ever, full of energy and positivity he wished he could emulate. Something compelled him to wrap his arms around her and bring her close in an embrace—so he did. He sighed in relief. “Don’t forget your charger again,” he said in her hair.
“I won’t,” she pulled back, suddenly catching on to the seriousness of his tone. “Rough day? Is it too late to talk in your apartment?”
“Not if it’s too late for you.”
It was strange, the effect she had on him. It only grew more intense after each night together. Dex watched her carefully now, across from his table. He couldn’t remember the lat time he let someone get close to him. He couldn’t remember the last time he had allowed himself to connect with someone since Dr. Mercer passed away. It was the first time he possibly found a new North Star. He hoped this one wouldn’t go out.
She brought a warmth to his apartment that it was lacking before. He never spent time at the kitchen table unless it was the morning and he was having his coffee before work. He never thought he’d spend most of his nights here, with her, talking about his day and duties as an FBI agent. She was part of his routine now. And if there’s anything about Dex, it’s that he doesn’t like when his routine is disrupted.
“Can I ask you something we haven’t talked about before?” She looked up from her notebook and placed her pen down on the table. Dex shrugged his shoulders. There wasn’t much he wouldn’ttell her at this point.
“Anything,” he said.
“Have you ever had to kill someone?”
It took a lot to catch Dex off guard. But this was a question he wasn’t expecting to be asked so blatantly.
“In the line of duty, obviously,” she followed up quickly, responding to his reaction.
Dex held her gaze—he didn’t want his answer to drive her away. In case it did, he wanted to memorize the way she was looking at him right now. The hopeful curiosity. The kindness without judgement in her eyes. He broke eye contact and sighed.
“Yes,” Dex said, rearranging the napkin holder in front of him.
“Because you had no choice?”
“Yes,” he lied.
She shook her head. Not in disapproval, but in disbelief. “I can’t imagine that. Do you—do you remember the first time you had to?”
Dex does remember his first time killing someone. But it wasn’t in the line of duty as an FBI agent. It wasn’t even when he served time in the army.
It was when he was a child and had dreams of becoming a baseball star. The memory flashed in Dex’s mind as quickly as the baseball ricocheted off the fence and hit Coach NAME in the head.
“I do,” Dex said. “It was a cartel member. We had the group where we wanted them, but one guy wouldn’t give up the fight. He grabbed for a weapon to shoot at my partner—Nadeem—but I got to him before he could do anything more.”
“And by got to him, you mean…”
“Mmhm,” Dex hummed. “Does that make you uncomfortable?”
“No,” she shook her head. “I know it’s not easy work. I know these things have to happen. But I wonder, are you okay? Knowing that that happened? And what you had to do?”
“I’m okay,” Dex said, and he wasn’t sure if it was a lie or not. “It was either him or Nadeem. They train you to think fast in those situations. You can’t waste time.”
“I’m really glad I chose the science side of it all.” She leaned back in his chair, and he liked how she made it look so casual. He wanted to mirror her but didn’t. “I don’t know if I could handle it like you do.”
“We make the mess,” Dex said, leaning forward. “Your side cleans it up.”
“That’s an interesting way to put it,” she replied. “Accurate.”
Dex sipped his coffee. “Anything else you’d like to know, Ms. Forensics?”
She smiled at the nickname. “I guess… out of personal curiosity… what did it feel like? Taking a life like that? Even if the guy was bad.”
Dex twisted the mug in his hands. Truthfully, it made no difference to him. But what would she want to hear?
“It’s hard,” Dex said. “Really hard. But these situations aren’t black and white. We have a job to do. We have to protect people. Protect our own. That’s what matters at the end of the day.”
“I see,” she said, nodding her head. “Do you have counselors at work you can talk to?”
“We have to undergo a psych-eval every once in a while.”
“That’s good,” she pressed her lips together. “Well, if the counselors aren’t always there for you, just know that I am, Dex.”
And there it was—that sweetness he had become so accustomed to. He couldn’t imagine his nights without it now. Dex smiled a little and focused his gaze on the table.
“It’s late,” she said after a few moments of silence. “I think I’ve run you dry for tonight. Got any plans this weekend?” She asked him this all the time, and Dex always had the same answer for her.
“No,” he said. “Catching up on sleep, maybe.”
“Me too,” she began to close her notebook and collect her pens, to Dex’s disappointment.
“You can come by tomorrow night,” Dex said with hope in his voice. “If you’re not busy and you feel like talking.”
She smiled a little and nodded her head. “I’d like that. Maybe instead of me asking about work, we can just hang?”
Dex took her empty coffee mug and wiped a coffee stain with the pad of his thumb. Her question echoed in his head.
“I’d like that,” he answered, meeting her tired eyes. “Maybe I can ask about your life and work for once.”
“Oh, you wouldn’t be getting much,” she laughed, and Dex hoped she was kidding. “But I’ll do my best to highlight the interesting parts.” She began her walk to his door, notebook in her hand. Dex unlocked it from behind her, gently brushing his arm against hers by mistake. He took a step back to give her space.
“Good night, Dex,” she whispered. “I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
“Good night,” he softly said back. He watched her as she walked halfway down the hall to her apartment. He always waited until she was inside and locked the door before going back and retreating to his bedroom. When she was, he closed his door and locked it. He was alone again.
◎◎◎
Dex wasn’t worried about having her over until the reality finally settled in and he realized that she would be coming over in a different context than usual. He couldn’t remember the last time he hosted something for someone and had food ready—this was possibly his first time ever. When he came home, early for a Friday night, he checked his fridge to see if he had any snacks and felt silly for it—of course, he had nothing, except a carton of milk and some eggs.
He went back out to the corner store and paused in the middle of the aisle. What did she like to eat? He only remembered the time she brought ice cream to his place. He went to the freezer and grabbed the same flavors of Ben and Jerry’s she had once brought: mint chocolate cookie and strawberry cheesecake. Dex balanced the two cartons in his hands and went through the chips aisle. He wasn’t sure what to get, and the options were overwhelming. He settled on a jar of salsa, French onion and guacamole—that way, she’d have more than one option. He also grabbed two kinds of chips: salted and hint of lime. He also threw in a container of chocolate chip cookies.
After leaving the store, he realized that she may be interested in drinking something. He wasn’t a drinker at all—alcohol didn’t mix well with his medication—so he didn’t have a clue of what she may like. Wine? Beer? He found himself inside the liquor store, even more overwhelmed by the options. When was the last time he was in a place like this?
He grabbed one bottle of red wine (Pinot Noir), one bottle of white wine (Sauvignon Blanc), and one bottle of rose for good measure. At the counter, he saw a bag of chocolate-covered pretzels and grabbed it.
Dex had his hands full on his way back to his apartment. He’d never had this much food in his house—the bags practically filled his counter. He laid every snack out but paused midway—they wouldn’t be sitting at his kitchen table. Maybe on the couch? Dex began to move all the snacks to the coffee table. He placed each dip in a bowl and had two more bowls filled with each type of chip he bought. He left the ice cream in the freezer. He put the chocolate-covered pretzels in a smaller bowl.
Then, he put each bottle of wine on the counter so that when she first walked in, she could choose. Dex finally sat down on his couch and checked the time. It was almost 10 PM. She should be home soon.
◎◎◎
His apartment felt cold and dark until she finally graced it with her presence. She was in her black silk pajamas, as Dex correctly predicted was next in her rotation. When she first walked inside Dex’s apartment and saw the line up of wine and snacks, she couldn’t help but smile at how endearing it all was, especially the hopeful look on Dex’s face as he watched her take it all in.
“I wasn’t sure what you���d like,” Dex said, scratching his neck. “So I got a bit of everything.”
“It’s okay,” she looked at him, this well-trained and tough FBI agent who looked like he spent the last hour stressing over salted or hint of lime chips and ended up getting both. “It’s perfect. It’s exactly what I wanted.”
Dex sighed in relief. “I also got different wines you can choose from.”
She looked at each bottle. She was naturally inclined to reach for the red. But she wanted to make sure Dex had a say in the matter, too. “Which do you prefer?” She asked him.
He shook his head. “Oh, I don’t drink. I got that for you. All of it’s for you.”
“Well, if you’re not drinking, then I’m not either,” she said smiling. “I do want to dig into those chocolate-covered pretzels, though.”
“They’re for you,” Dex said.
She walked over to his couch, but Dex stayed standing by his kitchen table. He didn’t take a moment before to take in how different his apartment looked whenever she was in it. Before, everything looked as tidy as it needed to be: empty coffee table, couch lacking warmth, unused empty bowls. But she graced his apartment with her presence by making it feel comfortable. A couch is meant to be sat on, a coffee table meant to have snacks, and bowls meant to have food—just for her. He’s never seen his place so lively and it’s all because of her.
It was like watching a science experiment in real time. The cause and effect. The hypothesis and results. Except, he felt in the thick of the experiment and the results could be a wild card. He was just happy to witness it happening. How she was so good at making it all feel so comfortable. He liked having her around. Dex wanted her to stay a while.
“Well don’t be shy, Dex,” she patted the seat next to her on his couch. “Come stay a while.”
Dex laughed and made his way to his couch. He felt like a stranger in his own house. How should he delicately handle this new context of hanging out? He was used to her having a notebook and her doing the talking. He felt the pressure and was afraid he wouldn’t live up to expectations.
He sat down next to her—not too close. A comfortable distance. He reached for a salted chip and dipped in the guacamole first. During training, they taught agents to start conversations with witnesses or suspects casually. He felt he could apply those tactics here, with her.
“So,” Dex began, chewing his chip of guacamole, “first thing’s first. How was your day at work?”
Dex didn't know he had it in him, to curate and carry a conversation as long as he did with her. He asked her things about her life he didn’t know before—how she got into forensic science, where she’s from, who she used to be. She’s only 22—she’s got her whole life ahead of her, and she’s only getting started.
When she revealed her age, Dex was slightly taken aback. The thought never crossed his mind but now that he knew she was a bit younger than him, he felt that sense of protection he had over her grow in size. All those times she had come home late, he never knew she was vulnerable like that. Maybe it was wrong to think that way… she’s independent and lives on her own. She can take care of herself. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Still, he had to know something.
“My age… you’re not uncomfortable?” Dex asked in a small voice, avoiding eye contact.
“No,” she shook her head. “Not unless you are.”
“I’m not,” Dex answered quickly. “It never crossed my mind to ask how old you were. I didn’t think there was that much of a difference.”
“Seven years is nothing,” she shrugged. Most of my coworkers are that or even more.”
“I just want you to be comfortable,” Dex admitted. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to be here.”
“I want to be here,” she said. “I like talking to you. You’ve told me a lot about the FBI. That’s not the only reason I like talking to you, though.”
“Why’s that?” Dex couldn’t help but ask.
“You’re nice to me,” she simply stated. “I got lucky that you’re my neighbor. I feel safe.”
“Even though you know my line of work isn’t always sunshine and daises—even though you know what I’ve done,” Dex said in a low voice, “You still feel safe?”
“You’ve given me no reason to think otherwise,” she said softly. “You’ve shown me one side of you. I’m shocked you haven’t figured out I’m trying to get to know all of you, Dex.”
Dex held her gaze and felt something blooming slowly in his chest. “What else do you want to know?”
“We can save it for another time. You asked me here tonight because you wanted to get to know me,” she nudged his shoulder with hers, the first physical touch they’d shared all evening.
“That’s right,” Dex said with a small nod.
“Your turn,” She said with a welcoming smile. Dex took a deep breath. Truthfully, he felt the basic questions had run dry. He knew all there was to know about her on the surface: how she got into forensic science, where she studied, where she’s from, where she works. When he was serving time in the army, the comrades he was with often sat in circles in their tents and started playing games like Never Have I Ever or Would You Rather? He didn’t want to play those games with her now, but he wanted to get to know her on a deeper level. Those games typically made people reveal things about themselves. If she felt so safe around him, Dex didn’t see any harm in asking more personal questions.
“Do you remember what your prom was like?” Dex asked with a sideways smile.
“My prom?” Her eyes lit up at the question to Dex’s relief. He nodded. “Oh my, gosh, well, yes. It was such a weird time for me. I actually didn’t have a date my junior year, but senior year I did. I was the worst prom date.”
Dex smiled, trying to live vicariously through her experiences. “I don’t believe that for a second.”
“It’s true. I had a crush on someone else so by the end, I ditched my prom date and went to a different party. But I had so much fun with my friends. I miss the freedom of being that young,” she smiled. “Good music, free food. Sneaking alcohol at the after party. What about you?”
Dex looked away from her and shrugged his shoulders. “I didn’t go to prom. I didn’t technically have a prom.” It wasn’t entirely a lie. The institution Dex grew up in threw a makeshift prom for the seniors, but it didn’t have good music. It had free food that came from the cafeteria they ate at every day already. And absolutely no alcohol by any means. And Dex didn’t have a date. “I remember sneaking out to leave early and head back to my room.”
“Room?” She questioned.
“I grew up in a Boys’ Home,” Dex lied again. “They invited other homes for orphans but it was awkward. No one really knew anyone. I swore off events like that after that.”
“When’s the last time you went to an event?”
“Probably then.”
“Dex,” she said his name, “we’ll have to find an event for us to go to and change that.” Dex smiled. He’d only consider it for her.
“What color was your dress?” He asked her.
“White,” she said. “With a bunch of sparkles. My friends gave me shit about it, saying white was for weddings, but I didn’t care. I loved my dress. It was an off-shoulder dress. I felt like a princess.”
Dex tried to imagine it in his mind. White—fitting for her.
“I’m sure you looked like one, too,” Dex said quietly. “Have you ever traveled outside the city?”
“Of course,” she smiled again. “I’ve been for Orlando, Boston… the entire east coast, pretty much. Outside, I’ve been to London.”
“London,” Dex said impressed. “Did you like it?”
“I did but, it’s got nothing on New York. Where have you traveled?”
“I’ve only ever traveled for the army,” Dex answered. “Nowhere exciting. And definitely not for vacation.”
“We’ll use up your PTO days soon,” she nudged his knee with hers. Dex liked the hopefulness in her tone—the idea of what she was saying coming to fruition one day. And he liked that she said we.
“Do you remember your first heartbreak?” Dex asked her.
“Oh, Dex,” she sighed. “Who doesn’t? It happened recently in college. About around the time I was a freshman. Of course, I fell for a guy who was older than me. He had me in the palm of his hand for an entire year… until he graduated and dumped me like that. I was so head over heels for him, but it taught me a great lesson. Never put your life on hold for someone else.”
“That’s true,” Dex said. “I’m sorry he did that to you. That must’ve been hard.”
“It’s okay,” she shrugged. “I hardly think about it now, unless someone asks me. Do you remember yours?”
“Yeah,” Dex replied. “Like you said, who doesn’t?”
“What was it?”
“It’s not a typical heartbreak.”
“It’s all the same feeling.”
“I guess it would be when my parents died,” Dex said, meeting her eyes. “And then I was put in that home when I was a kid.”
“Dex, I’m sorry,” she whispered, scooting closer to Dex on the couch. His right leg was now resting against her left leg. She put her arm around his back and leaned her head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Dex whispered back. “It was a long time ago. It made me capable of being on my own at an early age.”
“Do you have other family?” She asked, pulling back to look at him.
“No,” he shook his head. “It’s just me.”
“Well,” she said instantly, “now you’ve got me.”
Dex wanted to tell her that she couldn’t say things like that to him unless she really meant it. But he didn’t want to get serious about it all—didn’t want to ruin the moment.
“Do you remember your first kiss?” She asked him in a lighter voice. Dex laughed.
“Yes,” he nodded. “I had no idea what I was doing. It was awkward. And wet. You?”
She laughed against him. “I had a similar experience. It was so strange at first. I honestly hated it. I felt too young to kiss like that.”
“Yeah,” Dex nodded, trailing off, thinking of another question to ask her. He opened his mouth to say something, wondering if it may be too far, or treading a thin line of what boundaries they already had. Her leg was still pressed against his, but her hands were to herself now. “Do you remember… your first time?” He asked her.
Silence at first. So much silence that Dex had to look at her to make sure she was okay. Her eyes were focused in front of her, avoiding his. He’s never seen her like this—quiet, unsure. Dex wanted to rescind the question immediately and apologize for overstepping a boundary. But then, she gave him a small, ironic smile.
“No,” she answered, shaking her head. Dex thought of every possibility in his head that could make her not remember something like that—having sex for the first time—and each possibility raised concern in him until she finished her answer. “I haven’t had my first time yet.”
It was Dex’s turn to go silent. He looked at her expression—she was trying her hardest to keep an indifferent look, but Dex sensed a tinge of embarrassment from her, and even sadness. He wasn’t sure what surprised him more: that she was a virgin or that she was capable of emitting an emotion he knew all too well. He wanted to kick himself for triggering that emotion out of her.
“I’m sorry,” Dex squinted his eyes, “I shouldn’t have asked.”
“It’s okay,” she said. “You’re not judging me, are you?”
Dex looked at her in disbelief. How could he judge a girl like her? Dex has killed people before—not in the line of duty. He’s used lethal force; he’s been abandoned. And she thinks that he would judge her over not having ever had sex? Dex felt hollow in his heart for a moment—that she thought for even a second he would ever judge her for something like that. She, who is so kind and sweet—pure—someone Dex is positive he isn’t worthy of having so close to him. She scares him in a lot of ways because of that. But somehow he’s earned her trust. No, there’s no world where Benjamin Poindexter judges her.
“Never,” he breathed out, moving so he was facing her. “I could never judge you for something like that. There’s no shame in it.”
“Sometimes I feel that way, that I haven’t experienced something so intimate before,” she said behind a sad smile. In a lot of ways, Dex hasn’t experienced something so intimate before either. Yes, he’s had sex—but the sex he’s had with partners never felt intimate. It just felt like sex. Soulless, empty, physical. He always felt emptier inside after.
“It’s okay,” Dex comforted her. “It’s not always intimate.”
“It’s not?” She asked him, furrowing her brows. “I don’t know. It seems intimate to me.”
“It is,” Dex nodded, “it can be. But it has to be with the right person. Otherwise, it’s just an act.”
“I don’t want it to be that way,” she admitted, breaking eye contact. “Just an act. I can’t—I’m too sensitive to just do it. It has to mean something. I think that’s why I’ve waited so long. Not because of religious reasons. I’m not waiting for marriage. I just want my first time to be intimate. I want my first time to mean something. I want it to be real. I’ve heard so many stories from my friends saying guys just leave them after they get what they want. I’m not strong enough for that.”
“I understand,” Dex said softly. “I get it. But please know I could never judge you for that. If you don’t judge me for not being pure.”
“Pure,” she laughed, “is that what you think I am now that you know that?”
“No,” Dex shook his head. “I knew you were pure from the moment I met you. I didn’t need to know anything else about you to know that.”
“Why do you say that?” She asked.
“Because,” Dex struggled to find the words. He looked at his hands, her knees, her curious expression. “You talked to me so easily that first night in the elevator. So open. I’m not—I’m not used to that. You were kind. I could tell you were a good person. I—I need that in my life, __,” he said, almost pleading like she was halfway out the door when she was still sitting on the couch next to him.
“I didn’t know you felt that way about me,” she whispered.
“I let you come over every night to talk about my job because you wanted to,” Dex began to say, “but I also let it keep happening because it has kept me sane. Talking to you. Being with you…” he broke eye contact again. “You tell me I make you feel safe,” Dex spoke again. “You make me feel that way, too.” But when Dex says that she makes him feel safe, he doesn’t mean safe from the other people in the building or even New York City. She makes him feel safe from himself.
“I’d never want to do something to make you go away,” Dex continued. “I want you around,” he whispered. “I want you to stay.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” she shook her head. She placed her hand on Dex’s knee. Dex slowly brought his hand to cover hers. This was the first direct contact they’d ever had—holding hands. Dex looked at the image—studied how his hand fit perfectly on top of hers. He twisted his fingers so they intertwined. Without thinking, he brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. She let him. He kissed her knuckles again, then the back of her and, then her wrist, and soon Dex was peppering kisses all the way up the length of her arm, pushing her sleeve up.
“Dex…”
He rolled her sleeve down and held her hand again, waiting for her directive. When she gave no protest, Dex moved her hair behind her and kissed her neck. She gently pushed his chest away from her, but only to look at him. His eyes were dark, full of intensity. She leaned in and closed the space between them, kissing Dex and Dex kissing her back. The moment their lips touched, they both knew it was long overdue. Dex placed his hands on her waist while she held him on his shoulders. His tongue made his way into her mouth and she welcomed it gladly. Dex squeezed her gently and pulled back, resting his forehead on hers, out of breath.
“When’s the last time you’ve had a kiss like that?” She asked. Both of them had soft laughs escape their lips.
“I think that was my first time,” Dex admitted against her lips, “my first time wanting to kiss someone like that.”
“I guess there’s a first time for everything,” she smiled.
Dex kissed her again, gently pressing her to lay down on his couch. She did so she was laying on her back, with Dex leaning over her. She pushed his chest away again, indicating she wanted to speak.
“Dex, I want you to be my first time,” she said.
“What?”
“I want you to take my virginity,” she told him. Dex pulled back completely now. He had to sit with what she was asking him. She leaned up again in concern. “I want it to be with you.”
“__,” he said her name, rubbing his eyes closed. As much as he wanted that, Dex wasn’t sure he was worthy. He wasn’t worthy to be in your presence alone—but to take that from you, the very thing that could change everything—he wasn’t sure he was worthy of that either. You were so good and so pure—to give him that responsibility is to give him the power to potentially ruin that. He couldn’t stand the thought of ruining something else that was so good in his life.
But if it wasn’t going to be him, it was going to be someone else. And the thought of someone else doing this to her—ruining her purity—cut him to the bone. As quickly as his attachment grew in his chest, jealousy did too, at the thought of someone else doing it to her.
Selfishly, he wants to be the one to taint her. Unselfishly, he doesn’t want to ruin what she is.
“You don’t want me,” she shook her head and bit her lip, avoiding eye contact.
“That’s not true,” Dex said. “I do want you.”
“Then why aren’t you saying yes? Why aren't you taking me right now?”
“Because like you said before,” Dex whispered, taking her hands again. “You want it to be special. You want it to mean something. Rushing into it on a spur of the moment thing won’t make it what it should be.”
Tears welled in her eyes, and Dex had never seen her so emotional. It made his heart hammer in his chest. He shifted so he sat closer to her. He kissed her forehead.
“I want you,” he reassured her. “But not right now. You should sleep on it. Really think if you want it to be me. I’d hate to ruin a perfect night by us jumping into it right away.”
She avoided looking at him, but deep down, she knew he was right.
“Okay,” she whispered. “I will.”
He kept looking at her until the look of worry faded from her face. All that was left was exhaustion in the form of half-closed eyes and soft breathing. Dex nudged her with his knee.
“What do you say we call it for tonight?” Dex asked. “It’s late.”
“Yeah,” she nodded, “I should go.”
Dex walked her to her door. As she unlocked it, she turned around to say goodnight again, and as if on cue, Dex twisted her into his arms and gently pushed her against the wall of the hallway, kissing her deeply. He locked her there, between his arms, a leg separating hers. She placed her hands on his chest to steady herself. When he pulled back, he looked away, as if the mere sight of her would make him come completely undone.
Silence followed her into her apartment. Dex retreated back to his, and while she was no longer gracing it with her presence—he felt her everywhere.
◎◎◎
Dex sat at his kitchen counter. His mind was too clouded by his thoughts to focus on anything—his thoughts that were consumed by her. He didn’t realize that by giving her a choice in thinking about what they talked about, he was at the mercy of that decision.
If she ended up not wanting it to be with him, how would that change their relationship? Would she stop coming over? Worse—would she never speak to him again? Dex could’ve easily given her what she wanted in that moment, but at the same time, he didn’t want to ruin what they already had. What had easily landed in his lap without him having to do anything.
On the other hand, if she did still want it to be with him… well, where do they go from there? Not to mention that he would be the one to take that purity away from her—and not in the sense of virginity. But in the sense that someone like him, someone who has killed and is capable of doing much worse, gets to be inside her for the first time. He didn’t feel worthy to be in her presence like that, to be the one to alter her experience with intimacy forever. If she still wanted it to be with him, he would make sure it was special and intimate like she wanted it to be.
But he’s afraid that if this happens, he’ll never be able to let her go. It sounds wrong, but he would feel a sort of possession over her. He was protective over her already; after this, he would be downright territorial. His past lovers have all been with people before him…she would be the first he’d ever be with who hadn’t been touched before.
Touched. Dex felt a cramp in his hands thinking about touching her for the first time. He’d want to map her entire body out; take in how beautiful she looks completely naked. He’d be the first to see her like that. He hoped he’d be the last.
There was a knock at his door.
Dex paused before getting up. It could all change in this next moment. He wasn’t sure which he was hoping more for. He took a deep breath and walked to the door.
There she was in all her glory—her hair had brushed out, messy curls and was pushed to one side, like she had just nervously fixed her hair. She was in a new set of pajamas—pearlescent silk white. She met his eyes for a fleeting moment before looking down—Dex could still she still felt embarrassed, or ashamed. For whatever reason. It should be him who felt like that.
“It’s okay," Dex spoke first. “Whatever your decision is."
“I want it with you, Dex,” she looked up at him with worried eyes. “But if you don’t want it with me, then—“
“Come in,” Dex opened the door for her to step inside. She immediately stood in the middle of his living room as Dex shut and locked his door.
She was holding herself—arms around her stomach, avoiding eye contact. Dex wasn’t used to seeing her so unsure of herself; he was used to seeing her positive, confident, smiling. Looking at him with hopeful eyes. What did he have to do to calm her nerves?
“I want this with you,” Dex said softly, approaching her slowly. “I just want to make sure you truly want this with me.”
“I do,” she affirmed. “More than anything.”
Dex placed his hand on her cheek, studying her features before everything changes. She was right about something—sex is an intimate act. Sex changes things. He knows how it has changed things for him, but he’s not sure how it will change things for her. He wanted to remember what she looked like before the act—before he changed everything. He caressed her cheek with his thumb. He didn’t want her to feel worried. It was written all over her face.
“What are you scared of?” He asked her.
“It hurting,” she said meeting his eyes.
“I’m not going to lie to you,” Dex began, “it’ll hurt at first. But then it won’t. What else are you scared of?”
“Making a mess,” she broke eye contact again. “I may bleed.”
“Don’t worry,” Dex shook his head, whispering. “It’s not a mess you’ll have to clean up. Anything else?”
She bit her lip and met his eyes again. “I don’t want you to stop talking to me after it’s done. I don’t want us to do it, and then that being all that you wanted, and then you stop seeing me or hanging out with me.”
Dex furrowed his brows in disbelief. Here he was, afraid of the same thing, unknowing that she too shared the same fears. Dex would never stop talking to her after it’s done. She knows she’ll be attached to him after—little did she know that Dex would be infinitely more attached to her, for separate reasons. He may be taking her purity, but she’s giving him something worse: hopes that he may find newfound purity in himself.
“___,” he said her name, meeting her eyes. He caressed her cheek some more. “I’m not goin’ anywhere. Once this happens—it won’t be possible for me to let you go.”
She took a long shaky breath. “Okay, Dex. I trust you. I—I think I’m ready.”
Dex continued to caress her cheek as he held her gaze, witnessing her eyes soften in comfort—safety. Trust. “Okay,” he said. “Is it okay if I kiss you?”
She blushed in the most adorable way. Avoided eye contact, bit her lip. She nodded. Dex placed two fingers under her chin to lift her to look at him. Dex slowly leaned down to meet her lips with his. And when they finally touched, she fell right into him.
Dex cupped her cheek in the palm of his hand, holding her steady in place as he kissed her. He teased her lips with her tongue, and she opened her mouth to let him in. He started off slowly…sweetly. When she took his hands and moved them to hold her waist, he took it as a sign to deepen the kiss. His tongue danced against hers as he practically inhaled her with kisses. His strong hands rested at either side of her waist.
They both pulled back out of breath. Dex leaned his forehead against hers, eyes closed.
“Let me lay you down,” Dex said in a low voice. She nodded against him and let him lead the way to his bedroom.
She sat at the foot of the bed in the center. She started to shake uncontrollably—from nerves, the AC in his room and from the reality of what was about to happen.
Dex knelt between her knees in front of her. He took her hand and held it in his. He kissed her knuckles and felt her shaking. He looked up at her.
“This is for you,” Dex reminded her. “It’s okay.”
“I’m just nervous,” she said. “I’ve never been completely naked in front of anyone.”
“I’ll ask you if I can do anything before I do it,” Dex said. “Is that okay?”
“Yes,” she nodded. She was taking deep breaths to calm her anxiety. Dex kissed her knuckles again. He placed both her hands on her legs.
“Can I touch your shoulders?” He asked.
She looked confused at first, but nodded anyway. Dex placed his hands on both her shoulders, softly caressing her with his thumbs. He moved his hands down both her arms slowly, feeling the softness of her silk pajamas. When he reached her hands, he held them both.
“Can I unbutton your shirt?”
“Yes,” she breathed softly.
Dex nodded and slowly started to unbutton her shirt one by one. He kept his focus on the buttons—nothing else—definitely not the goosebumps rising on her skin and definitely not at her hard nipples through the shirt. When he was done, only the center of her torso was exposed. She leaned back on her elbows and Dex leaned forward more between her legs, which were now spread a bit more.
Dex could see her heart pounding in her chest. He took right hand and kissed her knuckles. He met her eyes.
“Tell me if you want me to stop, okay?” Dex reassured her. She shook her head.
“I don’t want you to stop.”
Dex kissed her hand again. “Can I touch you?”
“Anywhere,” she said in a small voice.
Dex slowly began to trail his hand up the length of her torso, from her stomach to her collarbone. He slipped a few fingers under neath her shirt, dangerously close to her left breast. Dex looked at her once more for permission. All he needed was a small nod to let him know it was okay—and she did. Dex slowly traced his fingers over her breast, feeling her soft supple skin react to his touch—goosebumps, her nipple hard in the palm of his hand. Dex took a deep breath to control his own feelings of arousal—feeling her breast in his hand, realizing he was the first person to ever touch her like this. Dex squeezed her breast lightly and traced his pointer finger underneath her breast, feeling the curve of her soft skin. He pushed the shirt away, exposing her completely. He did the same thing on her other side with his other hand. He slid her shirt completely off and she closed her eyes, leaning fully back.
“You’re beautiful,” Dex whispered. “You’re soft and perfect.”
She opened her eyes. “Touch me more.”
Dex scooped her in his arms and lifted her further up his bed. He knelt between her on the bed and traced his hand on her stomach again. An intrusive thought crossed his mind—would she let him come inside her? Would she want to feel his seed that deeply inside her, knowing the risk? Dex felt his cock harden at the thought of coming inside her for her first time.
He took a deep breath and crossed the thought away. He placed both his hands on her breasts and gently squeezed them again. He leaned down and kissed the skin between her breasts. She closed her eyes in pleasure. Dex kept his hands on her waist and slowly kissed his way to her right breast, kissing it before taking her nipple in his mouth. He licked and sucked her hard nipple, gently wrapping his lips around it and starting a motion of licking and sucking. He swirled his tongue around her nipple and kissed her breast. He did the same thing on the other side.
“How did that feel?” He asked her.
“Good,” she answered in a breathy voice. “Really good.” She was still shaking. Dex was starting to love the idea of him making her shake like that.
“Good,” he said. Dex began to pepper kisses down the length of her torso, holding his hands on either side of her waist. She breathed deeply and pressed her head into his pillow, bracing herself for whatever was next. He played with the hem of her pajama pants and looked up at her with a slight sense of urgency.
“Can I take these off?” Dex asked.
“Yes,” she breathed, closing her eyes.
In one single slip, Dex took her pajama pants and underwear off, completely exposing her to him. Dex gazed at her sex which was slightly glistening from how wet she was, and then he noticed her slightly shaking again. He placed his hands on her thighs and kissed her on either side, trying to hold her steady.
“It’s okay,” Dex whispered. “Just tell me if you want to stop.”
“I don’t,” she said. “I’ll stop shaking soon.”
Dex secretly hoped she wouldn’t. He slowly slid his right hand over to her inner thigh and began to draw small circles. He slowly inched his way over to touch her pussy. He ever so gently placed the pad of his thumb on her clit, mimicking the small circles he just drew on her thigh before. She shivered at his touch and Dex watched her carefully. He mindlessly kept rubbing her clit as he watched her expression change from tense to relaxed.
“That feels really good,” she whispered.
“Let me know how this feels,” Dex said in a low voice. He slowly knelt between her legs, pushing them farther apart. He placed his entire mouth on her pussy and began to lap slowly at her slick folds. He started from the bottom and licked slowly up to her clit.
“Oh,” she moaned in a slightly pitched voice. Her legs shifted against Dex’s head, which was welcomed. Dex continued to lap at her wetness, completely putting his entire mouth on her sex. He pulled back momentarily to insert one finger in her tight pussy. She gasped at the tension, grabbing onto the fitted sheets. Dex reached his other hand up and took her hand, indicating that she could hold onto him. He pulled his finger and met his lips to her pussy again, this time moving his tongue around faster than before. His lips were locked on her wetness, and he began to feel himself get lost in the way she felt against his mouth, like this was his last meal on earth. She squirmed against his face, breathing deeply. She reached to pull on his hair to channel how he was making her feel. His hand gripped her thigh while the other held onto her ankle.
Dex focused his sucking on her clit and he paid mind to how she was breathing—he didn’t want her to come yet. Her eyes were closed, mouth half open, brows furrowed together. With his lips still on her pussy, Dex looked up at her and locked eyes for a moment with her before she closed them again and sighed into his pillow. He took one last lap at her wetness before pulling back and kissing both of her inner thighs.
“Dex…”
“You okay?” He licked his lips.
She only nodded, slightly disappointed by how cold she felt now that he wasn’t touching her. Dex could sense she wanted more. He could sense she was ready. He took off his shirt and pants, exposing himself to her. He couldn’t remember the last time he was bare in front of someone, but he didn’t care—all those times before didn’t matter. Only now did.
His cock was hard, pre-cum leaking at the tip. Dex was slightly surprised that she reached down to touch him, gently running her thumb over his tip. He clenched his jaw and took a deep breath. He placed his hands under the small of her back and lifted her up his bed, so she lay perfectly in the middle. He was hovering over her now—his cock dangerously close to her wetness, but not touching. They looked at each other for a moment, Dex looking deeply into her eyes—he couldn’t tell what she felt. Fear, anticipation, aroused? A mix of all three, he supposed. Because it’s exactly how he felt, too. Knowing that after this, their entire dynamic would change. For better or worse.
She spread her legs wider and placed her hands on his face. Dex leaned down and kissed her gently.
“You still want this?” He asked her.
“Yes.” She swallowed hard. “Please be gentle.”
“I will,” Dex nodded, his hot breath hitting her skin. He pushed a strand of hair away from her flushed face. He kissed her between her eyebrows.
Dex slowly lined up his cock at her entrance and rubbed his tip against her folds, getting himself wet with her pussy. He took a deep breath and clenched his jaw. Her eyes were closed, but he watched her as he ever so slowly tried to push himself inside her. He was too big for her to enter easily, and she was too tight for him to go any harder. She said gentle, and that’s exactly what he did. She took a sharp intake of breath and her heart was beating hard against her chest. Dex could sense her anxiety and kissed her forehead again as he tried to push himself inside her more. Slowly, inch by inch, he pushed himself inside her tight pussy, and in one quick thrust, Dex was completely inside her. They both reacted in their own way—Dex letting out the deepest sigh he’s ever taken, and her gasping for air from the pain.
“Dex, Dex,” she whispered in a slight panic.
“Shh,” Dex was trying to keep himself focused but it was hard to while he felt her tight pussy completely encase him while at the same time soften her worries. “It’ll get better. I’m going to go back and forth.”
She nodded and kept her eyes shut, a pained expression on her face. Dex felt incredible inside her, but this wasn’t about him. It was all for her.
He slowly pulled out, and she could feel the difference immediately. He felt so big inside her that when he almost pulled out, she felt so empty—she needed to feel him like that all the time. Close, inside, tangled up with her softness.
When he pushed back in, he couldn’t help the moan that slipped out of his lips. She was shaking, and her shaking at his cock inside her, ignited something primal in him. He was the first person to ever feel her like this and make her feel this way, and that thought alone spurred Dex on to keep thrusting inside her. She was completely soaking and he could feel her start to mold to his cock.
“Dex,” she whispered his name, “it’s starting to feel different.”
“How?” He uttered out while he still slowly went back and forth inside her.
“Good,” she opened her eyes finally and met his dark ones. “Really good. I—“
“You want more?” Dex asked, and it was his turn to close his eyes.
“I want more,” she nodded.
Dex wasted no time in speeding up his thrusts inside her. He went even deeper, feeling the tip of his cock touch the back of her cervix. He was imprinting his size on her. She knew she would feel him for days after. She felt so velvety, soft, wet and tight around his cock, Dex’s mouth was half open and his eyes were closed as he continued to thrust inside her.
“More, Dex,” she sighed.
His arms were under her, and hers were around his shoulders. Dex kept one arm under her and held onto his bed frame to get a better angle at fucking her, because now that’s what they were doing. Dex pounded inside her tight pussy, wetness and possibly blood coating both of them and his sheets. He watched her as she closed her eyes, mouth half open, as he continued to fuck her into being all his. He didn’t know what he liked more—being inside her or watching how much she enjoyed him being inside her. She fluttered her eyes open for a moment, meeting his, and Dex instantly closed his eyes. He retreated his arm back from the bed frame and scooped her in his arms, pressing his forehead against hers.
She closed her eyes again and had an expression of arousal, her eyebrows knitted together and her mouth slightly open. She opened her eyes and suddenly felt very aware of what was happening between their two sexes—it was a mix of wetness from her and something else more runny—blood. Her cheeks flushed red in embarrassment, Dex could tell, and she tried to look between them as he kept thrusting his cock inside her, unsure if she should allow herself to feel good or worry about the mess she’s making.
Dex followed her line of view and blocked it with his dark eyes.
“Look at me,” he whispered. “Look at me. How do you feel?”
She met his eyes and sighed heavily, “But Dex—“
“Don’t,” he pressed his forehead firmly against hers, continuing to pound into her, feeling the tip of his cock touch the back of her cervix. “Focus on me.”
Focus on him she did—the way he was hitting her g-spot repetitively made her spread her legs wider and push him in even more. He filled her up so completely, so well, she was sure to feel him for days.
“Oh, God, Dex,” she moaned, louder than before, “something’s happening—“
“Let it,” Dex whispered against her lips, closing his eyes and focusing on hitting her sweet spot. “Come for me, __. Come for me…come for me…”
“Dex!” Her pussy convulsed around his cock as she finally reached climax for the first time. She wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly against her, holding on like she was holding on for life. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest and she lost her breath and regained it as she held onto his warm body. He was still inside her, thrusting more gently now. He kissed her neck, kissed the skin behind her ear, kissed her forehead and kissed her lip as he continued to move inside and out of her.
“Oh,” Dex whispered against her lips. “I’m right behind you—“
“Inside me,” she said in a whisper, “please.”
Dex closed his eyes as he felt himself release his seed inside her tight pussy, feeling it coat all over her inside, he was shaking against her. It was her turn to kiss him, to bring him back down from his own high.
He laid his entire body weight on her, which was welcomed. His cock was still inside her, resting, until he slowly pulled out of her. She held him tighter. He breathed her in deeply, kissing her shoulder. She ran her fingers through his dirty blonde hair.
He pulled back, gazed in her eyes for a moment.
“Let me get a towel,” Dex said softly.
He pulled the sheets over her and when he came back, he cleaned between her legs as best as he could while she fell asleep. Dex threw the towel in the hamper, a clean, perfect throw, and crawled back under the sheets with her. He pulled her in tightly, and she molded against him like she was meant to be there. It may have been her first time, but he was certain this was his first time feeling the attachment in the aftermath. He hoped this wouldn’t be their last.
#daredevil#bullseye#ben poindexter#benjamin poindexter#bullseye x reader#ben poindexter x reader#benjamin poindexter x reader#dex#dex x reader#bullseye smut#ben poindexter smut#benjamin poindexter smut#marvel#daredevil born again#daredevil: born again#the first time
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ours (k.bakugou x reader)
—“your hands are tough, but they are where mine belong in"
sum. bakugou is having a bad week, thankfully his girl is always there to make the bad days a little better cw: a little angst, fluffy ending
i hate hate hate paparazzi!! loosely based off of this and the song ours by taylor swift
It had been a rough week for Katsuki.
First, the hero rankings were announced, and he found himself at #15—not even in the top ten. And he swore it didn't bother him, that the rankings were just a stupid popularity contest. But you saw the way his shoulders slightly slumped in disappointment and the way his fists clenched so hard that the half-moon imprints of his nails in his skin stayed for hours after you had smoothed his fingers out.
It broke your heart to see him like that—and then yesterday he got into a silly fight with Izuku, one that was filmed and taken way out of context by thousands of people on the internet. Which in turn prompted the resurgence of people saying he didn't even deserve to be on the list at all, let alone at #15.
bakugou is mentally unstable lol
i worry about his gf tbh, those anger issues are a huuuge red flag
right?! i hope that poor girl gets out of that
she seems so sweet, he’s probably threatening her or something
It was just one hit after another for him.
And now, as he stares out the window at the crowd of paparazzi with a clenched jaw, the only thought in your mind is how this is strike three. All he wanted to do was take you out for a nice dinner to thank you for being so supportive this week, but he couldn't even do that without a swarm of media leeches waiting outside.
"Kats, we don't have to go. We can just stay here." You say quietly, worried eyes set on his tense shoulders.
"No," he growls, "I'm not letting them ruin this too." He positions himself in front of you before taking a few hesitant steps out the front door of your shared apartment building.
His warm hand envelopes your own, fingers threading through before tugging you behind him, half shielding you with his large body. The flash of the cameras and the noise of the crowd makes your vision blur, but Katsuki is moving fast, fingers tightly gripping your own while his gaze is laser focused on the awaiting black car parked on the other side of the street.
Everything is moving so fast, the shouts of the various reporters melting together around you. But you can't hear a word they say, the sound drowning out any specific words, until—
“Why him?”
And you nearly miss the step below as you freeze. The question has you rearing back as if you'd been hit, your eyes dancing towards the sound of the question. You see him right away, a male reporter who is nearly frothing at the mouth for a reaction. The reporter leans forward, eyeing you hungrily as he waits for an answer. And usually, you wouldn't give them any time of day, the daily harassment towards you and every other pro-hero and their significant other almost daily a good enough reason toignore any of their probing questions. But how could you ignore this?
“Why him?” you parrot back, white-hot anger burning through your body at a rapid rate. You don’t think twice before you’re ripping your wrist out of the blonde's hand and taking angry strides towards the reporter. You're nearly toe-to-toe with the man, and while he is a full head taller than you, he shrinks a bit from the look on your face.
Katsuki comes up beside you, gently tugging at your wrist.
“It’s not worth it.” He says lowly, looking down at you with something like sadness tinged in his eyes. And your heart cracks, picking up on the one thing he isn’t saying but you know he’s thinking.
That he’s not worth it.
And you can’t have that, you can't have Katsuki thinking that he isn’t worth any of this, because he is. He is worth everything, and despite being in each other’s lives for years now, the fact that he still doesn’t see that is devastating.
Your body begins shaking from a mix of anger and adrenaline as you look at the crowd around you. A slow hush falls over the crowd, as if they are waiting with bated breath to see what you have to say.
“Because he is the kindest human I have ever had the pleasure of knowing; kinder than any of you will ever be. And what has he ever done to you to make you so obsessed with twisting every move he makes, every word he utters into something that makes him look like the bad guy? And for a quick buck? You all should be ashamed of yourselves.” After shooting a glare around the crowd, you keep your chin high as you grab a stunned Katsuki’s hand and drag him towards the car.
You gently push him in, keeping a hand smoothed over the back of your dress as you crawl in after him, slamming the door shut with more force than necessary.
The car ride to the restaurant is eerily quiet, and as the adrenaline begins to leak out of your body, your brain catches up to what you did. And yeah—they did need to be told off, but you start to wonder if this is something that will get him into trouble.
You weren’t a hero and you didn’t have a lick of media training, why did you think causing a scene would be a good idea? The thoughts spiral in, and you want to bury your face in your hands as dread slithers its way into your stomach.
When you get inside the building, you are ushered towards the back of the restaurant by the host, presumably to where your table is located. But before you round the corner, Katsuki is tugging you into a dimly lit closet, fingers making quick work of the lock. Even after the door is bolted shut, he stands and faces it, as you just watch the outline of the gentle rise and fall of his shoulders.
“Kats?” You say quietly, a hand hovering over his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I just—”
He shakes his head, a disbelieving laugh pushing its way out of his mouth.
“No, you—” He shakes his head again, then turns around to face you, his body crowding you up against the wall. His eyes are dark, twinkling with emotions you can’t place. Both of his hands come up to gently cradle your face, and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.
“Have I ever told you that I love you?”
You blink up at him, confused.
“Not only was that the hottest thing I have ever seen, but—well, that was the first time anyone has stuck up for me before.”
“I would do it again—anything for you really. You’re worth it. And I know that’s hard for you to believe, but you are. They can say whatever they want, but I know in my heart that I do not deserve you, and that you ” You say quietly, eyes locked on his. He smiles, eyes shining, before leaning down to press a gentle kiss to your temple.
“Oh, my sweet girl.” He whispers in the dark of the room, thumbs caressing your cheeks.
“I love you Kats.”
“I love you too. Now, how about we ditch this place?” He asks, leaning back to tug at his tie, before bending forward to loop it around your neck. “I think that new ice cream parlor is open. So, sundaes on me?”
You nod, a giggle escaping when he bends down and tugs the ends of the tie, your body falling into him. He lets out a gentle laugh, the sound like a gentle breeze on a hot day. It has your smile stretching across your face, your heart singing in response.
He reaches down to unlock the door, but when he flicks the lock back, nothing happens. Katsuki tries again, but again, nothing happens. It doesn’t budge, not the second time he tries or the fifth, or even the tenth time he tries. On the eleventh try his hand slips from the lock, his eyes colliding with yours.
It’s silent for a few seconds, and then a laugh bursts out of him, followed by another and another. The sound has the grin staying locked in place on your face, relief flowing through you at the change in his mood.
“We—we’re stuck.” He gasps out, hands falling on his knees as he hunches over, deep laughs spilling out of him. It isn’t long before you are on the floor next to him, trying to catch your breath around your own laughter.
#mha x you#bnha x you#mha x reader#mha fluff#bnha x reader#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugo#katsuki#katsuki x you#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugou x reader#mha bakugou#bnha bakugou#bakugo x reader#bakugo x you#katsuki bakugo x you#katsuki bakugou x you
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