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fictionsoul · 2 months ago

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Take a breath

Fem!reader x Yesung

Synopsis: You'd had a stressful and exhausting day, but Yesung always has the right words to comfort you and make you feel alive again.

Warnings: Fluff, stress but with comfort so don't worry, written with female pronouns (I think) and probably you'll found grammar mistakes.

w/c: 2.3k

a/n: Last days I was full of work and doing all by myself (bc I'm the kind of person who sees difficult to claim for help, my bad) so I needed a break, but now I'm alive again and curious about what you think about this story. Thanks for all your support!

Take a breath

Your job always demanded that you put all your attention on the people in your care, always demanding your service, always asking all kinds of questions.

Being a tour guide was fun, but sometimes the clients turned a dynamic task into a tedious trek, full of tension and discomfort.

That particular group was one of those complicated ones, one where all the most troublesome people in the world seemed to gather.

It wasn't that they were unpleasant people, it was just that it was difficult to have any interaction with them without listening to their constant complaints about the weather, about how tiring it was to walk uphill, about how you didn't translate everything they wanted to say in time.

Perhaps worst of all were the constant shouts and accusations from the children, demanding that you attend to their needs as if you were their mother.

Although being a guide was something you usually enjoyed, you also had a limit when it came to tolerating clients whose attitude constantly clashed with yours.

At that time of the day, when the sun was beginning to set and the sky was delighting you with the spectacle of pink clouds and deep blue shadows, the last thing you wanted was to continue listening to complaints and protests.

Finally you had reached a viewpoint for tourists to admire the scenery and take pictures that would make them smile with nostalgia when they saw them once they returned to their countries of origin.

That spectacle of light and shadow always made you sigh. No matter how many times you had already admired it so far, somehow it always managed to steal your breath away.

The fluffy clouds were collaborating with their cumulus and stratus formations. And the sun was giving its all to achieve those hues in its last hours of work.

Despite this, it seemed that people found it more interesting to keep complaining about Busan's own heat and humidity.

For the third time that day you wished your work would come to an end. It was impossible that, with that natural spectacle, they still thought that walking so much had been a waste of time.

The children kept screaming and running without parental supervision, crossing everywhere as if it were impossible for them to cause any disturbance.

"When are we going back to the hotel?" asked a girl who had not stopped sending and receiving text messages since they started the last part of the tour.

"I'll take you to the cable car and then you can stop by to buy some local products to remember your stay in this wonderful city," you informed trying to keep a friendly smile on your face.

"Can't we avoid that activity? The cable car seems to be far away," complained a middle-aged man.

You didn't understand why they were buying a sightseeing tour if they had no intention of following an itinerary.

You inhaled deeply so as not to lose your temper, letting the air fill your lungs and chase away any negative thoughts.

You had enough to put up with all that negativity from the clients without letting it permeate what little good cheer and enthusiasm you had left.

That group could be complicated, but sooner or later there had to be an activity that everyone –or at least most of them–would like.

Early on you had tried the tour to the Buddhist temple of Beomeosa, but they were not impressed at all.

The story went by without much fanfare, the architecture seemed too simplistic and the only thing they seemed interested in was the possibility of taking some pictures of the monks cleaning the temple in the background.

The next point had been one of the surrounding mountains where they had done some hiking, as brief as a less than ten minute walk, to the Cheongryeon shrine.

There they had a collection of small and large Buddha sculptures displayed outdoors and, again, interest was almost nil.

They did not find the scenery appealing, the hike annoyed them and once the explanation was over it seemed that everyone was in too much of a hurry to stay even a minute longer.

That's how you got back on the transport that took you to the Nampo neighborhood. That's how you ended up tired from spending so much time with them.

At the seafood market they did nothing but complain about the aroma of fresh fish, when they advanced to the second floor of the market to cook the purchased products, they all seemed to fight for your attention to translate their orders.

You hated that they didn't respect turns, that they wanted everything to be resolved with just a snap of their fingers. Maybe that's when the headache set in, maybe that's when your patience reached its limit.

You had seen the district full of art. Its streets colorful and decorated with murals that spoke of the creations of the people who living in the area, of the students and teachers who did their best to bring to life that area that had seemed to be forgotten by the rest of the city.

Not even the touching story got any reaction. Of course pictures were taken, it was unavoidable to enjoy it, but it didn't go beyond that.

"Remember to give your cable car pass to the staff once you are in line to board," you informed, handing out the passes one by one.

To the adults you handed them in their hands while to the children you placed a bracelet to prevent them from losing the ticket.

Two gondolas filled up and you boarded a third, avoiding the constant company of the tour group.

Your gaze was lost in the horizon, wishing for better company, wishing Yesung was there with you to make you smile.

It was impossible to be bored by his side. He always knew what to say and what to do to keep everyone's attention.

Perhaps it was the knowledge gained through experience giving concerts in front of an audience, or maybe it was due to the natural charm he seemed to possess.

Anyway, you wanted to be with him instead of sharing that view with those people who only seemed to be impressed by the videos on social media instead of enjoying the tour they had paid for.

Suddenly you felt your shoulders tense, as if you had been carrying all the tourists on your back.

You had been carrying that responsibility all day and now that you were away from the group all the tension was starting to set in.

The bitter taste of frustration was keeping you from enjoying the scenery.

Once the gondola reached the end of the line, you descended and the whole group was already waiting for you on dry land. You smiled out of habit and continued guiding the tourists to the next point.

The Songdo Bridge welcomed them with a walk on the beach. The view of the scenery again lifted your spirits and this time the feeling of being on the water managed to impress the tourists.

At least the ride had been worth it. At least the tourists had a good time in that construction in the middle of the sea.

You unconsciously placed your left hand on the opposite shoulder and rotated it with the intention of eliminating the tension.

Your energy had been draining throughout the day and by that point in the tour you had lost all hope of leaving a good impression on the tourists.

The shuttle back to the hotel arrived and that's where you said goodbye to them all.

You finally let your body relax, welcoming the tiredness that had left you with the second scheduled tour with that unusual group.

A long sigh came from the back of your throat and, as if it was your body's natural reaction, you stretched your arms skyward. Your back emitted a cracking sound that took you by surprise but which you received with pleasure.

That was the symphony of physical exhaustion. The cracking of your vertebrae, the pain in your shoulders and the tiredness in your legs.

You rested leaning both arms on the railing of the bridge, stretching your back as if you were a cat that had just woken up from a long nap.

You allowed yourself to stay there for a few more minutes until the sun finished setting, disappearing into the horizon and giving its place in the firmament to the moon.

"How was your day?" asked a familiar voice.

As you turned around you met Yesung face to face. His presence had the same effect on you as the sunset landscape.

Your eyes sparkled brightly and a broad smile formed on your lips.

"Complicated. How was the concert?"

"Exhausting," he sighed.

The idol ducked his head and leaned his forehead on your shoulder, allowing the fatigue of having been on stage for half an hour to evaporate a little.

"You should have gone straight to the hotel," you scolded, stroking his hair, massaging his scalp with your fingertips.

"I knew I wouldn't be able to find you there," slowly his arms caught you in an embrace.

It was a warm and comforting feeling. It was like coming home and throwing yourself into bed after a long day's work.

Your muscles relaxed in the midst of that gesture and your cheek found its place against his chest.

The slow, steady beat of his heart seemed to set the rhythm of your breathing. Soon the headache faded away.

"Difficult clients?" His lips brushed your temple.

"Many of them. It was a tough crowd to please."

"How could they not enjoy your voice as you told the stories?" His arms left you so he could cradle your face in his hands. "How is it that being able to admire you all day long didn't seem enough for them?" The singer kissed your brow. "Why didn't they take advantage of the fact that they could take pictures with the best tour guide in Korea?" This time his lips planted a kiss on the bridge of your nose. "They must have been grateful to be able to admire the scenery at your side" this time the kiss landed on your lips. "I am very envious of them."

Finally you smiled, squeezing his body between your arms, squeezing him tightly against your body.

A new sigh cut the silence. This time all the exhaustion had subsided, your body had gladly accepted Yesung's displays of affection.

"You say that because you hold me in high esteem."

The idol could feel your smile against his chest and the sensation forced him to close his eyes to fully enjoy it.

"It's more than that," his hand stroked your hair, arranging in its place the small locks that looked messy.

Finally you stopped hugging him and took his hand to walk the entire length of that stop in the middle of the sea.

"So you're saying that because you value my daily effort?" you pretended to try to find out even though you knew the answer beforehand.

"It goes beyond that."

"I know!" you jumped in front of him, raising your face to look him straight in the eyes.

Your smiling face, illuminated by the street lamps and the moon, seemed to him the best landscape he had ever seen in his life.

If he had taken his camera with him, he would surely have kept that image as if it were a treasure. But having it engraved in his memory seemed a better place to treasure it.

"I don't think you know," he joked, playing along.

But his eyes returned you a look full of affection. A pure and genuine love that left you speechless.

"Why do you look at me like that?" you asked, completely abandoning the conversation you had been having.

"What do you mean," he tilted his head slightly and raised an eyebrow.

"That's what I mean," you commented amused, pointing to his whole face. "You look at me as if I were in charge of putting the moon and stars in the firmament."

He laughed. It wasn't a laugh that bubbled up from the depths of his being, it was a guttural sound. A laughter that bubbled in his chest and echoed inside there. A sound straight from his heart.

"Because that's what you actually do," he smiled as he saw the look of confusion on your face. "You are the one who lights the sun during my mornings when I see you by my side; and the one who places one by one the stars and the moon to illuminate my night when I find you at home."

You smiled with satisfaction and finally your lips met Yesung's in a slow, soft, cadent kiss.

"You are too sweet, Yesung," you whispered with your lips lightly touching his with each articulated word.

"You turned me into this," he sighed resignedly, pressing his forehead to yours.

"You see how you do say that because you hold me in high esteem? I don't see any other reason for you to be like that with me," you replied, pulling away from him.

"It's not that."

"So?"

In your voice there was a feigned innocence, a false curiosity.

"Are you sure you want to know?" The corners of his lips tugged into a mischievous smile.

You just nodded, pursing your lips to keep from smiling with him.

Yesung moved quickly, taking you by the waist and filling your face with kisses, depositing them in any available space.

Your laughter cut through the quiet of the night and soon the shrill sound of the singer's laughter joined yours.

"I love you," he declared as soon as you stopped protesting.

"You're too sweet," you repeated.

"Because I love you and because you love that about me too."

You laughed in satisfaction, feeling the warmth of the moment spreading all over your body like a warm embrace. Like a kiss that lit up the light that the exhausting day had managed to diminish.

A small reminder that requests are open, if you don't feel good sending messages in english, you cand send your request in spanish too (since I can work properly with that language).

If you only wanna fangirling or make any question my messages are open for you too

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eldiatricc · 13 days ago

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SCnKnA Visitor Event - Peter 3

Event List

Scene – Forest – Doors and Arrows

Alice (…Huh?)

I thought I was walking toward Peter, to go see him… And yet, somehow—I’d wandered off again.

Peter “……This is exactly why I can’t take my eyes off of you.”

He had come to find me. Peter offered a soft smile that carried a hint of exasperation.

When he acts like an adult like that, it only makes it harder. It feels worse than being scolded—it makes me feel guilty.

Alice “Ugh…”

Alice “…Please keep this a secret, okay?”

Peter “?”

Peter “A secret…? About what?”

Alice “That I got lost.”

Peter “?”

Alice “That I got lost!”

Peter “???”

Alice “I said, that I got lost! Don’t make me repeat it again!”

This forest must have some kind of hysteria-inducing effect.

When I’m with Boris and Pierce, I can enjoy myself. But when I’m alone… it all changes.

Alone, I just end up yelling. Yelling at the doors, and now even at the rabbit…

Alice (thinking) (Isn’t forest bathing supposed to be calming? Forests are supposed to ease the mind, right?)

(This must be a forest lacking in negative ions.)

Instead of negative ions, it has doors.

(I don’t need doors—I need peace. Where’s the healing energy?)

There’s no healing here. Just an overwhelming number of doors…

And yet, I keep coming back to this forest. I end up here and lose my way.

Alice “It’s honestly embarrassing to get lost this many times.”

Alice “It should be a straightforward path, and yet I end up in the forest on the way to the castle… I can’t even laugh at Ace anymore.”

(Even though I try to avoid using the doors and stick to walking on my own. Maybe I’m being punished for slacking off now and then.)

Peter “……”

Alice “…And don’t you dare tell Ace, okay!? He’d definitely make fun of me!”

Peter “……”

Peter “…You’re not lost, Alice.”

Alice “…What?”

Peter “You didn’t get lost. There just happened to be a door in the direction you were heading. You walked toward it, and so you ended up here. That’s all.”

Peter “You’re not lost.”

Alice “What are you talking about? I wasn’t aiming for the forest full of doors—I was heading for the castle.”

I had no intention of ending up here. I didn’t mean to arrive in the forest.

Alice “I did get lost.”

Peter “Even if you did, it’s something you wanted—deep down.”

Peter “…But I don’t want that. Even if you wished for it, I don’t want you walking toward the doors.”

(CG: Peter in forest with gun)

Peter’s watch transforms into a gun.

He shoots a door— Bang, bang, bang. One after another. Not just one door—he begins shooting all the surrounding doors.

Not a single tree trunk is hit. Every shot lands squarely on the doors.

Though the targets are large, some are quite far away. Still, he hits them all with the same accuracy as those nearby.

It’s as if he already knew exactly what to do. He moves slowly, like the hands of a watch, gradually turning his body.

There are so many doors, the motion is slow. But the speed of his shots is fast—his hands don’t stop for a second.

Some doors are made of wood, others look like iron. Each gives off a different sound when struck.

Alice (thinking) (Talking doors… They’re not living creatures, right…?)

It’s an eerie thought. They speak, but they’re not alive… probably.

If they were alive, I would have stopped him.

But they’re just doors. Doors attached to trees, belonging to no one.

If Peter were shooting the trees, I’d stop him like I would for a living thing. But just the doors? That’s harder to judge.

Alice (thinking) (……)

Somehow… I also felt relieved.

The talking doors are eerie—frightening. They keep repeating, “Open me. Come inside.”

Alice (thinking) (…They’re scary.)

Even so, I keep ending up here again and again.

Peter shoots the doors. The gunshots drown out every voice.

Right now, there's no sound. Just the sound of Peter’s gun.

Those loud, echoing shots right next to me… they’re oddly comforting. The doors’ voices only ever try to lead me astray.

Later

Bang. A final shot.

Alice “……”

Alice “You used a lot of bullets, didn’t you?”

Honestly, I was a little dumbfounded that he hadn’t run out.

Peter had shot every door in sight—every one visible within view. How had he not run out of ammo?

He had reloaded several times, but how much was he carrying? Bullets are heavy. Carrying that many would normally slow a person down.

Alice “To shoot that much and not run out of bullets… you must’ve brought way too many spares.”

Peter “Fufu. I never run out. I have an endless supply of bullets. The only time I’ll ever be out of ammo… is when I die.”

Peter “……Now then. This looks a bit better. No more voices. Let’s head to the castle.”

Looking around, every door was full of bullet holes. The doors were finally silent.

Even now, with the gunfire stopped, the quiet remained. Peter gently took my hand.

Alice “But… next time I come here, it’ll all be back to normal, won’t it?”

It’s fine now. There’s no voice.

But the next time I come, the bullet holes will be gone. Everything will be as it was before. Like Peter never fired at all, the doors will talk to me again.

In this world, things like dirty clothes or worn-out items don’t stay that way. Cleaning, laundry—none of it is necessary.

Even if no one fixes them, things repair themselves.

Just like how people here are interchangeable, buildings and even nature get restored without notice. Time turns backward, returning everything to its pristine state.

It’s convenient—but also meaningless. What Peter did just now… it’ll be erased.

Alice “The doors will fix themselves.”

Peter “Yes, I know. Even if I destroy them all now, they’ll be repaired later.”

Peter “But… at the very least, I can buy you some time. Enough time to get to the castle and back.”

Peter “Truthfully, I’d destroy them so thoroughly they couldn’t be repaired… But that’s not allowed here. So at least, I’ll do this much. So you won’t get lost again on your way back.”

Alice “……”

Alice “Even so… they’ll fix themselves soon, right? You didn’t have to go this far.”

Peter knew. He knew it was futile—and did it anyway.

Peter “If they fix themselves… I’ll just shoot them again.”

He smiled with the same expression as someone saying “I love you.”

Later

We left the forest of doors and returned to the path.

As long as Peter was with me, I wouldn’t get lost. With his hand in mine, I felt sure even the return trip would be fine.

What did I do with Peter’s hand…?

a. I kept staring at it

b. I held it back

a. I kept staring at it

I kept looking at the hand Peter used to lead me. A white-gloved, pristine hand—soft and clean. The hand of a white rabbit.

In truth, it was a hand that could easily pull a trigger and hurt others.

But right now… I could just follow that hand. That’s all I needed.

b. I held it back

I gripped Peter’s hand tightly in return. He had been walking straight ahead, but he turned back slightly.

With a shy little smile, Peter said:

Peter “It’s alright. I won’t let go. No matter where you try to go… I’ll bring you back.”

Alice “……”

Peter would bring me back.

Even though I no longer had any intention of getting lost again… For some reason, those words made me feel safe in a way I couldn’t explain.

Choices Converge

End Event

#peter white #boris route #shinsouban clover no kuni no alice #clover no kuni no alice #alice in the country of clover #alice in the country of hearts

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kennethanne · 2 months ago

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The Secret Ingredient Is Always the Lucky Vibe

Everyone looks for tactics. Systems. Tools. They search for hacks and shortcuts, hoping to find the thing that will finally make it all click. But often, what really makes the difference isn’t external. It’s internal.

Luckyvibe a pattern behind your best days the ones where you felt clear, capable, and connected. You were aligned. Mentally, emotionally, and energetically. And when everything within you lined up, the outside world seemed to follow.

That’s the secret ingredient no one talks about enough. Alignment the kind that can’t be faked or forced but always shows up in your results.

Alignment Feels Like Ease

When you’re aligned, things feel lighter. You don’t have to push so hard. You don’t second-guess every move. You trust yourself and that trust creates ease.

This doesn’t mean everything is easy. It means you’re not constantly fighting yourself. Your choices feel congruent. Your actions support your values. And your momentum flows from a place of clarity, not chaos.

People around you notice the difference not because you’re louder or faster, but because you move with purpose.

How to Know When You’re Out of Sync

On the flip side, misalignment feels like resistance:

You dread tasks you used to enjoy

You feel busy but not productive

You say yes when you want to say no

You question yourself more than usual

You keep chasing external wins that don’t feel rewarding

These are signs your internal compass needs recalibration. The good news? Realignment is always possible and it usually starts with small, honest shifts.

The Inner Work That Brings Outer Results

Alignment is an inside job. It comes from asking the right questions not just checking off the next item on a to-do list.

Here are a few prompts that can help:

What do I actually want today to feel like?

Am I doing this because it matters or because it’s expected?

What have I been avoiding that would free up my energy?

Where do I feel most like myself?

The more you check in, the more accurate your actions become. And that precision leads to better, faster, more satisfying results.

Letting Energy Lead the Way

Your energy speaks before your words do. It walks into the room with you. It lingers after you leave. When you're aligned, your energy is calm, focused, and inviting.

To lead with your energy:

Start your day with stillness, not stimulation

Move your body to activate presence

Focus on what you can control instead of what you can’t

Clear mental clutter by writing it down, not carrying it around

When you take care of your energy, your decisions become more intentional. You stop reacting and start responding. That shift alone can transform your entire day.

Consistency Over Hustle

When you’re aligned, you don’t need to hustle yourself into exhaustion. You stay consistent because you’re not forcing it.

Consistency in alignment looks like:

Following through because you want to, not because you’re afraid not to

Creating routines that support, not suppress you

Saying yes from a place of trust, not guilt

Progressing steadily without burnout

The results from consistent, aligned effort are deeper and more sustainable than any short burst of hustle.

Letting Go of What Isn’t Yours to Carry

One of the biggest blocks to alignment? Carrying things that don’t belong to you expectations, opinions, outdated goals.

To return to alignment, try letting go of:

Roles you’ve outgrown

Pressure that comes from comparison

Obligations that no longer match your values

Narratives about who you should be

Release what no longer fits. When you do, you create space for what actually feels right and that’s where the magic begins.

The Secret Is in the Subtle Shifts

Most people think alignment comes from overhauls and dramatic change. But the truth? It’s often a product of small, repeated choices that honor your values.

Examples:

Saying “I need a break” instead of pushing through

Swapping one negative thought with a neutral one

Changing your environment to reflect your goals

Turning off distractions for 15 minutes to focus on what matters

These shifts may feel minor but they bring you back to center. From that place, everything else aligns more naturally.

Clarity Before Action

There’s power in pausing. In asking “why?” before acting. When you pause long enough to gain clarity, your actions become sharper and more effective.

Start asking:

Does this align with the life I’m creating?

Am I doing this out of fear or purpose?

What’s one small adjustment that could bring me back to balance?

Clarity turns busy work into meaningful effort. It prevents missteps. It amplifies results. And it protects your energy from being wasted.

When You’re in Tune, Others Feel It Too

You’re not the only one who benefits when you’re aligned. Everyone you interact with can feel the difference:

Your communication becomes clearer

Your decisions are easier to trust

Your presence becomes more magnetic

Your leadership becomes more inspiring

Alignment is contagious. It encourages others to seek their own. That’s how teams, relationships, and communities grow stronger one aligned person at a time.

Recalibrate Often, Not Just When You Burn Out

You don’t need to wait for a crisis to return to yourself. Make realignment a daily check-in, not a last resort.

Try this:

Morning: “What kind of day do I want to create?”

Midday: “Am I acting from alignment or pressure right now?”

Evening: “What felt good today? What felt forced?”

These simple questions bring you back gently, consistently. Over time, they create a lifestyle where you’re rarely too far off track.

Conclusion: The Real Secret Is Within You

Everyone’s looking for the magic ingredient the thing that will give them an edge. But the real edge isn’t in more tools, faster tactics, or louder noise.

It’s in alignment.

When your actions match your values… When your energy matches your intention… When your choices match your truth…

That’s when momentum feels effortless. That’s when your results start to reflect who you really are.

The secret ingredient isn’t something you need to find. It’s something you need to remember.

#lLuckyvibe #gaming #entertainment news

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aquiescentraconteur · 2 years ago

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Honesty is the best policy.

My darling girl,

I am one proud person. I know, Pride & Prejudice is no accident.

I pride myself in many things, many of which are personal accomplishments registered inside my heart – the moment I got to surpass certain fears, or that heartwarming compliment someone has given me. One of the things I’m good, but not excellent at, is being honest. I tend to hide and disguise a lot, I tend to use a façade with those who know me well. I love people to the extent that I never want them to worry, which is why being honest about difficulties and negative parts of my life is hard.

I intend to stop that part of my functioning; I want to acknowledge humanity and celebrate overcoming our own personal hells. As a way to achieve that, I’m beginning to be more honest with myself and others. I want you to know people are fragile, they break, me included. I never want you to feel like you can’t have bad moments or that you can’t talk about them, to me or anyone else. Transparency is something my parents taught me and I intend on keeping the lesson.

I’ve been learning about this healing process, which starts with the following list of questions and problems:

(Don't get me wrong, they remain unanswered but they're helping me think!)

Intrusive thoughts: I noticed I tend to overthink, not only to overthink but to do it through a negative lens. I’m a positivist who has very degrading and self-loathing thoughts. Some people say I have abandonment issues because I abandon myself repeatedly. Can’t say they’re wrong there… There are also self-esteem and core-centered beliefs I know were constructed and related to my inner child. Those thoughts are becoming a bigger impairment with time, there are days they completely take over. Those are the days I self-isolate the most, avoiding anyone who can see through me and simultaneously wishing someone would. I’ve been having good conversations that have sort of helped me in this, with myself and with others like me (psychologists). It’s no news that I’m not the most confident girl in the world, but lately, that has become a problem. Some argue that it’s because I don’t love myself – I’m not sure about this. I like myself but I do not protect myself. A friend told me I need to be cognitively aware; I already know that it doesn’t make them go away. It only kills them after they’ve arrived and has set my mood into a darker tone.

How someone treats you Vs. how you feel about them: this was only a random memo I thought about. I ‘over-love’, according to my mom. I know selfishness isn’t my strength. I’m starting to wonder if it ever will be.

What is going to help on the long hall? What wrongful choices am I making that harm my development? I know I succumb to momentary wimps and wishes. I can’t say no when pleasure presents itself on a platter. I can’t say no to emotional satisfaction. I’m a whore for emotional passion and psychological love. How the fuck do I get out of this? I’m addicted to that belly-aching feeling, the pitch burning on your throat whenever you look into someone’s eyes and wish they kiss the living daylights out of you. How do you turn your back to the possibility of feeling your heart pacing as if it’s rushing home?

Maybe I should remember number 2 here, maybe that’s a pretty good strategy.

4. How does one heal?

5. What are my expectations and what is the reality of them? I had a fairytale life, in my perception of it at least. I guess I grew up wishing people would be like an enchanted character from a Disney movie, the perfect guy, the ‘out of this world’ friend. People aren’t fictional, they will never care and live according to this stupid idea of enchantment, I realize that now. This doesn’t mean I’ll lower rushed expectations, but I’ll think about them and I’ll try and be more aware of it.

6. What they say vs. what they do. I guess this one speaks for itself. It’s more of a mental note. Maybe I should tattoo it, on my forehead. I keep forgetting this until he proves me wrong and reminds me, I need to have this imprinted on my heart.

My beautiful baby girl, this bond I decided to create with you should never be an obligation or something you perceive as scary. You don’t even need to read this garbage, I thought it might help, if it doesn’t, I’m pretty sure we have a paper shredder somewhere.

Love,

Mom, September 22th 2023

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raeathnos · 5 years ago

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#im like in a precarious mental state at the moment #i had a complete mental breakdown a week ago because life is sucking #and i am trying very hard to get better #trying to avoid negative thoughts and stop myself when i begin thinking negative things #trying to focus on anxiety reducing behaviors because my mental breakdown was essentiall a two day long panic attack #i have a call in to my doctor to try to get back on anxiety medication #so if you know all of this wHY THE FUCK are you still dumping all kf your problems on me #and expecting me to act like your goddamn therapist #i just got up after barely sleeping last night #bonus- i was woken up because they were being noisey but thats a whole different problems #but i just got up after like only two hours of sleep and still feeling conpletely stressed and exhuasted #and they go on a rant for 23 minutes and if i dont take their side on ever little deta #then i got made to be the bad guy and guilt tripped and gas lighted and im fucking done #i am fucking shaking and i feel like im on the verge of a panic attack now #which is about theblast thibg i need given my mental state #i am at my wits end #i think for years i thought this situation could be fixed and theres probabky still part of me thats hoping it can #but i think thebonly solution is to get the fuck out of here #im only 1/3 of the way to amount saved i need for a goddamn down payment though and im thinking its gonna be another year or two still #and thats so daunting like i am seriously wondering if i can last that long #i feel like im breaking #i can deal with the job or the living situation but both?#im so tired

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misslovasstuff · 2 years ago

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“When you feel you’re not enough”

[ Dazai x reader]

We try so hard to become what we’re not.

“Belladonna, is something wrong?”- Dazai asks, titling his head, trying to meet your eyes.

“Everything’s ok, thanks for asking, partner.”- you give a weak smile which of course couldn’t so easily deceive Dazai.

However, before he left you alone at your own accord, he wanted to ask one last time:

“Are you sure?”

Then, there stands silence. A big, anxiety driven, breath-taking silence which made you so weak to even begin to think a way to lie yourself out.

Instead, you burst into tears. Drops that burn your skin who screamed every time it was conquered by one. Even though you hated crying in front of others, this time it was impossible for you to tame whatever emotion was making you lose your composure.

You drown your face in the palms of your hands, gulping hard and imprisoning your voice, although every bit of you wanted to shout out your pain, so that somewhere, someone would hear and understand, cause you were so desperate to be understood. Your sniffs easily make it through the thin air like an undying echo.

Shutting your eyes strongly, so hardly that you wished somehow you would disappear in a world where there was only darkness where you could cry your heart out loud peacefully, without holding back.

It looked like the space around you got smaller and smaller, like a dark circle closing itself second after second until there is nothing left but you. You and your most evil and depressing thoughts that slowly drive you mad. There is pain, unexplainable pain and struggle. So difficult to defeat by your own, how do you gain the strength to overcome the most hurtful truths and how to deny what your heart unwillingly believes? You don’t know.

Heat conquers your body, making you a bit dizzy as tears keep running down continuously, like a flooded river who went crazy after a heavy rain. A gigantic storm was being formed inside your head, and you can’t seem to be able to shut it down. There are voices, horrific ones who don’t scream but whisper mischievously negative words, like poison arrows, hitting you one after another, making you bleed and lose control and consciousness.

Then, it stops.

That dark circle begins to extend, bringing light in. All this crazy, chaotic mess stops and suddenly there’s much less darkness, much less fear. You widen your eyes when you notice unfamiliarity; comfort, warmth and love.

All of these scared you, since you are afraid of the unknown. However, you decided to welcome it.

Removing your hands from your face, you open your eyes to find yourself in someone’s embrace. Dazai had put his arms around you on a tight grip. Your face is now resting in his chest as he gently holds your head with his right hand, while the other caresses your back.

Although your heart had stopped it’s rapid beating and began to find some peace, your tears fail to stop. But these tears right now were not vengeful. No, they were fragile and painless. They were essence of your soul falling out, like any little drop of insecurity and unsettling thought fell away with them.

“I don’t know why you’re so upset but, I’m certain it’s not worth this much pain.”- Dazai claims, whispering while putting strands of hair behind your ear.

You remain silent, clenching into his shirt.

“Do you want to tell me what is that worries you, love?”- he adds, kissing your forehead and patting your head.

You take a deep breath, trying to gather your thoughts. There were many things that you wish you could tell him, but not enough courage to speak out the words you don’t even want to admit to yourself.

“Dazai, I feel like I’m not enough. - you avoid his eyes, since that would lead to you breaking down in tears again. - Every time I see myself getting better, then afterwards I get even more worse than before and to me, that is a never ending cycle. I’ve been fighting with myself and the world, I’ve been trying to accept myself, to love myself, but at the same time I wanted to change, I wanted to become better. But now I feel like, no matter what I do, I’ll always be back at square one.”

Dazai stays silent. He gives you the time and space to shout your thoughts.

“I have pathetically depended myself to others, and what they think of me. And thus, their views and thoughts have become mine. I have become accidentally mean to my inner child who once believed that I could be anything I wanted. But now, Dazai, now I cry so often at the thought that I’m still up to this day, not at peace with myself. I keep fighting and resenting and sticking the same idea to my head: that i’m not enough.”

You hear Dazai gulping before speaking: “The truth is, until you or any other human being gives their last breath, they won’t ever be enough.”

There is a constancy in his tone of voice, not melancholic but still calming.

He continues: “It’s a good thing that you’re attempting to change for the better, it’s even better that you aim to win this never ending battle, because as in the name it never ends, but so doesn’t your improvement. When it comes to inner peace, that is a treasure so hard to find and maintain. However, in order to make peace with yourself, you need to believe in that will of yours. You gotta have faith that you’re not gonna get back at square one, on the contrary, you’re going to grow beautifully and become whoever you want to be.”

At last your eyes meet his. You’re taken a back from the way he is looking at you, so softly yet so carefully; gentle but also distant. Like he wanted to heal your wound with his eyes but not touch too deep in fear that he too might get infected. He wanted to be there for you, not give in to his intrusive thoughts.

“People’s opinions do not define you, however, when you believe in what they say, that’s where it starts to happen; the doubts. - Dazai caresses your cheek, not breaking eye contact even for a second. - You start to doubt yourself. I know it’s inevitable sometimes but if you feed that thought, then it’s over. You lose yourself to others.”

“I don’t want to give myself away.”- you say with a shaky voice but consistent breathing pattern. Once you hear yourself you understand that you had cooled down in Dazai’s arms and that his words were strongly resonating with what your wishful thinking is like. And that, was strange.

You never heard him speak like this before. When you broke down at first, you were excepting pessimistic and maybe even cynic thoughts from Dazai, but got the complete opposite of that. Now you’re wondering: is he saying that because he wants to make me feel better, or because he truly thinks so?

“In order to not give yourself away, you need to hold on tight to your believes and limit other people’s influence on you. - Dazai says, noticing a bit of confusion in your face. - Do you understand?”

You nod: “Thank you, Dazai.” - you give him a teary smile which shook his heart a bit. If someone like him would preach about hope and belief, then it must mean something.

In all honesty, Dazai didn’t understand why you thought you weren’t enough. To him, you were a hero, an angel sent from above. You were a blessing to people around you and especially to your partner, you were just perfect.

Thus, Dazai got lost in your eyes and wondered: how does she see herself less than a decade long of pain worth waiting for? He asked himself how could you fail to see that even the sun would bow to your radiance and the moon would beg for your serenity? Dazai wanted to tell you so much, he wanted you to know how your tears wreck his heart, how the sound of your voice breaking shatters his soul like something so profound as you would break in front of him. How could he ever allow it?

He wondered, how are you not enough, when to him you are everything?

#you’re enough to people who deserve you #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs dazai #bsd dazai #dazai x reader #dazai imagines #dazai x you #bungo stray dogs #dazai scenarios

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thisdreamplace · 2 years ago

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Hi dream. 😵‍💫 anon here. I want to respond to your last response. I don’t believe that being anxious stops us from being in a state of what we want either. Sometimes people throw so many random conditions around. Even if we have anxiety and cry, that doesn’t mean we aren’t on the path or in the state. The state won’t feel like forcing ourselves not to be a certain way. If we’re anxious, we’re anxious. I have it in my mind that everything will be okay despite the negative emotions or reactions. I appreciate you being so open here. I hate that you were feeling that way and I hope you are feeling more at ease now. Sending a virtual hug. 🫂 Also the movie you talked about, What Dreams May Come, is now on my watch list. I’m going to watch it tonight, actually. Thank you for the recommendation.

I had such a real conversation with myself yesterday. I asked “what is being myself?” I have never known. I’ve always wanted to be like or be someone else. I’ve always tried so hard to be liked that I never once just went with the flow of being me. I only lived for the validation & views of others, even with my looks. My looks were the only reason people even gave me attention. So I let that fuel my high school life. Everything I did or looked like was for other peoples’ validation. Soon, peoples’ compliments didn’t feed my ego anymore. I was left with how I truly felt about myself. Bad. I let that feeling settle and I’ve never been the same. My whole being changed when I had to depend on myself for my own happiness. I felt ugly and so did the world. Eventually, even my friend called me ugly. No one genuinely liked me as an entire person, just my face. I’ve been in a downward spiral ever-since. I haven’t known how to pick myself up. Of course I have matured since then, I just turned 20, but I still see how living by people’s validation has gotten me to this negative point. I’ve been afraid to be me (even with the things I like to do) because of my dependency on others’ views.

I remember you speaking about not avoiding yourself. I know it seems like I had such a negative revelation but I’m joyful about it. My problem with everything and even manifesting is that I keep seeking that validation from others. I noticed that even my desires were linked to, “if I get this, then people will think this” But why haven’t I prioritized how I felt? Don’t I want to change my life for me? I’m still learning. I’m still growing, but I hope to live for me now.

I wish everyone could see your blog. So they’d know that their journey is okay. There is a future waiting with possibilities. And there is a now that we are meant to enjoy and make the best of. 😊 I would have never thought like this before, but you have opened my mind, Dream! 💕 Now, I’m going to watch What Dreams May Come and begin the journey of being me. I’m excited to see who I will become everyday of my life.

P.S. I hope your day went well today. I’m sending you peace & love.

hiiii 😵‍💫anon <3

"the state won't feel like forcing ourselves to be a certain way" right... and it just doesn't make sense really. when we feel down, our entire world doesnt disappear. we still have those things that feel natural to have hahah, despite the mood we are in. and i'm feeling much better 🥰 thank you. these days, honestly, i really just invite it all in. no matter what...i really just... choose freedom over holding onto anything painful. thank you for the virtual hug.

i'm so glad you brought that up and are figuring that out for yourself. i think that these days, thats the question everyone asks: "who do i wanna be" and not so much, "who am i, really ?" and i have found that.. i've gotten a lot further asking the second question than the first. because if everything is already perfect and aligned within myself... i don't need to be anything else or try to be some ideal. i just need to allow my true self to shine through. i'm glad you were able to reflect that much, because through that you'll know how to move forward. you know what stories you used to believe about yourself and now you don't have to keep believing in them. not that it'll be easy, but you have found a guide within yourself of what to let go of in order to move forward. and that's always wonderful.

i think that even a negative revelation is a freeing one. because now you won't be as much of a prisoner to it, you can't possibly change something you aren't even aware of it. even though it's painful, it's also... exciting. :) i really get it. living for yourself is really the way. i reread an article from a few years ago yesterday, and it was just a reminder of that. in all of this... there's really no one to worry about but you. you know, we don't get a prize/more love for our suffering. so why keep engaging in it ? i'm glad that you're doing all of this for yourself now. keep moving forward and always remember that the healing isn't linear... it'll be okay to feel like things are more hard sometimes. just never forget that you can return to yourself always.

thank you so much for your kind words 🥹 it really means a lot to be because... that's really what i wanted in having this blog. to share my own journey and through that, emphasizing that it's okay not to be okay. there's a light... and it's our own selves, if we allow it. i've been the light in my own darkness, and i want everyone to know the same is true for them. i'm glad you know it now too. :) and i'm so excited for you !!

please let me know what you think of the movie ! i just rewatched it today, and it was just as lovely, honestly better now that i've grown since the last time i saw it. and also, i just love the visuals of the movie. so beautiful !

also thank you, my days have been really lovely. there's just so much love everywhere and i'm just allowing myself to take it all in. it's really nice hehe ❣️

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tothemeadow · 5 years ago

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Can I request a uzui x shy reader where reader is his fourth wife but she feels left out a lot so she distance and avoid Tengen and her co-wives. When reader comes home one day she surprised to find uzui home by himself because he was meant to be out with the others and she was going to try avoid him again but as he wants an answer to why shes acting the way she is and turns into a smut in the end? :>

Did I get carried away with this? Maybe. Could I have written more? Absolutely. But I have to practice self-control.

‘i want to be part of your constellation’ / Uzui T. x Reader

warnings: NSFW, cunnilingus, Tengen’s fat tiddies

words: 2,492

Sometimes, being a Pillar’s wife is hard. They’re constantly away, fighting battles and saving lives; there’s always that lingering chance that they may never come back. It’s a dangerous life, but a respectful one nonetheless.

This is what drew you to Tengen in the first place – despite his brash, asshole attitude, he’s selfless. It was during an attack at your parents’ farm when you first met him; appearing like a night in shining armor, he rescued you from a bloodhungry demon, his movements powerful yet graceful all at once. As a thank you, your parents offered your hand in marriage to the handsome stranger. Surprisingly, Tengen agreed, but it wasn’t like you were going to deny marrying someone of his status and exquisite looks.

However, you didn’t know about the other women in Tengen’s life. As you quickly found out, he had three other wives, all of who he met while in the shinobi forces. Of course, you weren’t a fighter like them, nor did you have that close relationship from sharing the same background. No, you were the docile one of the group, the one meant to take care of the home while the others went to fight demons and the like.

Even two years later, things haven’t changed. You love Tengen, and the other girls are basically your best friends, but the chasm separating you from them couldn’t be more evident. Sure, you’re part of the “family,” but it doesn’t necessarily feel like it. You’re the quiet one, the one that keeps to themselves, the one who’s in charge of a happy homelife. And so you distance yourself from everyone else, stick to the sidelines while they’re out saving the world.

Granted, you’re used to this lifestyle, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt. If only you’d been a shinobi or a slayer, things would be different. You’d know what the life is like, the feel of a blade as it passes through a demon’s neck. But no, you’re always stuck with carrying a pouch of wisteria on your body to keep yourself safe. At this point, you don’t whether Tengen makes you keep it because he wants you to be safe or because he views it as his obligation.

With a sigh, you turn towards the sky, the endless blue a clear difference to your bitter gray mood. The tote hanging from your shoulder is heavy with fruits and vegetables from the market, but you’re excited with the possibilities of all the tasty meals you could create. Even though you can’t fight to save others, you can feed them; you also know for a fact that you’re the best cook among you co-wives.

When you return home, you slip off your setta and pause, listening to the familiar silence. Like usual, the others are away, most likely fighting off some lowly criminal or preparing for a battle against a demon. Either way, it seems like you’re going to be spending the majority of the day by yourself. It’s sad that this is what life has come to; when you first married Tengen, you were hoping for more excitement, not lonely thoughts. You don’t want to come off desperate, though, so you continue to remain to yourself. At the end of the day, it’s not that big of a deal – that’s just life.

Wandering towards the kitchen, you become caught up in these thoughts, these negative feelings. You don’t want to make yourself cry – you really don’t – but your heart is saying otherwise. All you want is to belong. You want to mean something to this family, not be the impromptu mother waiting for her rambunctious children to come home. You become so lost in your head that you fail to see him standing in the kitchen, lips wrapped around a ceramic cup.

Coming to sudden stop at the threshold, your attention jumps back to the present. Tengen merely sends you an amused look over the rim of his cup before he knocks his head back and empties its contents. Why is he here? Shouldn’t he be with the others? He said he wasn’t going to home for a while! Did something happen? Are the others okay? Why-?

“You’ve got that dumb look on your face again,” Tengen teases. “Stop thinking so much.”

Huffing, you step into the kitchen, drawing the tote off your shoulder and setting it down. “You surprised me, that’s all. I thought you were busy.”

“What, am I not allowed in my own home? That’s kind of cruel, don’t you think?” The smirk he flashes you sends a pleasant shiver up your spine.

“I never said that,” you hastily respond. Your eyes scan over his Corps uniform. You’re quickly finding yourself feel bad for taking up his time when he’s bound to be busy; Pillars have the toughest jobs of them all, and every single moment is precious. “You’re usually never this home early,” you mutter. A sigh slips through your lips. “…I should… uh, I need to do laundry.” You despise how pathetic you sound, but the knowing look in Tengen’s eyes is making your nerves go haywire.

Stepping away, you prepare yourself to leave, but Tengen moves way too fast for your eye to catch. Before you’re out the door, his hand is around your wrist, spinning your around and tugging him towards his chest. You yelp as you collide with solid muscle; wrapping his meaty arms around you, Tengen holds you close, his nose buried in your hair.

“Don’t act like I haven’t noticed you moping around more than usual,” he mutters. Pressed to him like this, you can hear his heart thumping steadily in his chest. “It’s not flamboyant of me to ignore what’s bothering you.”

“Tengen-“

“Let me finish,” he interrupts, but his voice is soft. “I want you to be honest with me. Are you lonely?”

At that, your heart drops to your stomach. You haven’t been that obvious, have you? Jaw falling agape, you’re desperate for words, to tell him no, you’re fine, but nothing wants to come out. Tengen releases a sorrowful sigh and pulls away just enough so that you two are looking eye-to-eye. He’s always been huge, standing tall and broad; in moments like these, the sheer size of him is more than intimidating. His biceps alone could crack a watermelon.

“Idiot,” he mumbles. Your face scrunches up when he flicks your forehead. “I shouldn’t have to confront you about something like this.”

You pout up at him. “It’s just… I’m not like you guys,” you confess. “I can’t fight, I can’t defend myself… All I’m good at is being a homemaker.” You drop your gaze to his chest. Now that you’re finally getting everything off your chest, all the pent of thoughts and feelings begin to gush out. “I feel like an outsider most of the time. You and the other girls are always running around together and doing amazing things. All I do is sit around and do chores. I can’t…” Biting your lip, you squeeze your eyes shut. Now is not the time to be crying. If you want things to change, you have to remain strong, not burst into tears.

A hand cups your face, then, lifting your head so that you’re forced to look at Tengen. “Be quiet. So what if you’re not a fighter? That doesn’t make you any less flamboyant.” His thumb brushes over your cheek. “You’re the one I can rely on to be here when I need someone. You always get this dumb smile on your face whenever I come home from a mission.” Dropping his head down, he presses his forehead to yours. “I know you’re safe here… Do you have any idea how scared I would be if you were out in the field with us? You’re important to me, baby. When I’m not here, you’re on my mind constantly.”

Your heartbeat quickens. You can’t deny the genuine glint in his dazzling eyes, the slight curl to his lips.

“In fact,” Tengen continues, pulling away entirely. In a swift movement, his large hands are clutching your thighs, raising you up and swinging you around; you let out a surprised squeak as he places you on the table and presses his large body between your legs. “I can’t stop thinking about you. You’ve always been so soft, so sweet…” His warm breath fans over your face, making you swallow thickly. “And you’re so small. I’ve got to keep someone like you under protection, don’t you think?”

Before you really have the chance to say anything, Tengen swoops in, his mouth seeking out yours. He’s always been such a bold kisser, sweeping his tongue into your mouth with no hesitation whatsoever. He tastes like wine, so rich and delectable, and his tongue is so warm, so inviting. Your head is spinning, your breaths leaving in short gasps. His hands are all over you; gripping your hair, trailing down your back, sneaking underneath your yukata-

A groan bursts from your throat as he fondles your breasts, the pads of his fingers rolling the hardened nipples and pulling them. Tengen curses as he breaks the kiss, the lightest of blushes on his face. He bites his plump lower lip as he shamelessly plays with you, his pupils blown wide. His hips press in close, his groin bumping into yours; he’s already hard, deliciously so, and your mind goes entirely blank. You want nothing more than his cock to slide in, to absolutely tear you apart.

“You feel that, baby?” Tengen husks. “Don’t think your unimportant to me. You’re so fucking sexy, so flamboyant…” His tongue darts out, sweeps over his lips. “Let me make it up to you. You won’t feel lonely anymore, got it?”

Furiously nodding your head, you allow Tengen to yank open your yukata, revealing soft skin. Your eyelids flutter as he places his mouth to the exposed flesh, his lips and tongue equally hot. Chest rising frantically beneath his touch, you grip onto him for support as he kisses your breasts, his tongue dragging across your nipples. You keen as he promptly sucks it into his mouth, his teeth sinking down lightly as his hands unceremoniously rip your underwear from your trembling form.

“Oh, gods, Tengen,” you purr. “Please… Don’t stop…”

“Wouldn’t dream about it,” Tengen drawls. Sinking to his knees, his mouth leaves a wet trail down your body; there’s bound to be marks, you’re sure of it, but you don’t care. His mouth feels way too heavenly yet sinful, the pleasured grunts pouring from his lips pure music to your ears. “Give me a taste…”

You cry out when he licks against your slit. In a fit of desperation, your fingers clutch onto the silvery strands of his hair, accidentally loosening it from its ponytail. Tengen groans into your quivering pussy as you yank at his hair, his name leaving your lips in high-pitched whimpers. Any other time, Tengen would play the part of the ultimate tease, but not now. No, he wants to please you, to have you screaming his name and begging for more.

He eats like a man starved, his mouth just ravishing your cunt; the noises coming from in between your legs is nothing short of sinful, leaves your blood boiling. Your velvety walls clench around his protruding tongue, each curl and flick sending delicious shivers up your spine, down to the tips of your fingers and toes. Tengen’s always been a god with his mouth, and it’s no wonder how he has four wives. You try not to think about the other girls too much; it’s quickly turning into a battle that you’re hopelessly losing, but then Tengen moves to suckle on your clit while his fingers replace his tongue.

A sharp cry rips its way out of your chest. It feels so good. “Ah – Tengen – fuck,” you whine. Hearing the pleasured noises from your beautiful lips spurs him on; redoubling his efforts, Tengen grabs onto your hip as his fingers push in even further, finding your soft spot with pin-point precision. You rapidly come undone around his fingers, your walls clenching around him as your slick gushes out. A breathless moan of his name echoes throughout the room.

“Just as sweet as I remember,” Tengen husks. The deep rasp of his voice has you clenching again; with a chuckle, Tengen removes his hand and stands up.

“I want you,” you coo, “please, Tengen. Fuck me.” Reaching out, you hastily undo the top of his uniform, push the articles of clothing down his shoulders under his torso is completely bare. Tengen’s chest practically rumbles with a purr as you drift your hands over the swell of his pecs, the divots of his abs. “So gorgeous,” you murmur. Tengen starts to chuckle again, but it quickly dwindles into pleasured grunts as you squeeze his pectorals and pinch at his pert nipples.

“Shit,” Tengen hisses. His hips buck forward, the hard outline of his cock brushing against your sopping cunt. In quick, fumbling movements, he undoes his belt and drops his hakama low enough so that his cock pops out. You practically drool at the sight; he’s been going around commando all day, and fuck you wish you knew that earlier.

His bulbous head pushes inside, his cock slowly filling you up. The stretch is delicious; you feel so fucking full, your velvety walls eagerly sucking him in. Clutching onto his shoulders, your fingernails dig into the thick cording of muscle, your eyes basically rolling back in your head as Tengen snaps his hips forward, his cock sliding in to the hilt. He pauses for a second, allows you to adjust to his massive size. Once you give him the go ahead, all caution is thrown to the wind.

Your husband in no longer a man, but rather a savage beast. He fucks into you thoroughly, his cock dragging against all your sensitive spots as his cockhead pounds into your cervix. He’s hitting you so deep, stretching you so wide, you’re seeing stars. His lips find your neck while his hands hold you by the ass, keeping you place. You have no choice but to cry out his name, moaning until your throat goes hoarse.

Hiking your thighs onto his hips, he urges you to lie flat on your back. Like this, he presses his palms against the surface of the table and completely concentrates and fucking you into oblivion. It’s working, rightfully so, for your drooling and babbling his name, your nails scratching down his back and leaving angry red trails.

“I’m gonna fill you up, baby,” he purrs. “Show you that you’re really mine. I love you, got it? Don’t ever think otherwise.”

Tears flood your vision – whether they’re from pleasure or the new onslaught of emotion, you don’t know. Either way, you cling onto him tighter. You’re not going anywhere, and Tengen makes sure of it.

#kny #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #kny x reader #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #demon slayer x reader #tengen uzui x reader #uzui tengen x reader #kny tengen #request

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hiddennerdworld · 4 years ago

Text

MHA Couples Dynamics with art by @leecheedoodles| Too Cool for Skool x Keener (Reader x Iida)

Masterlist

Warnings: none, all fluff stuff

A/N: eeeee I’m so excited about this. I saw this art and immediately was inspired. I would really like to do a series based on these. This is all thanks to leechee doodles here on Tumblr. They are v talented so check them out! I’ve seen others use their art, but if they don’t want me to I can always take it down. Enjoy :)

You and Iida definitely got off on the wrong foot

You guys didn’t hate each other per say, but you annoyed each other for sure

Iida just wanted his fellow classmates to be successful and tried to encourage you as class rep. And you just wanted to only take part in the aspects of hero work that you actually enjoy

In your own ways, you both stressed each other out

Iida would give you lectures any time you ditched class, saying you needed to be responsible in order to be the best hero you can be

You just stood and rolled your eyes the entire time with your arms crossed over your chest

Eventually, one day Iida just said fuck it (he didn’t actually phrase it that way bc he doesn’t use the bad words) and picked you up and carried you to class.

The whole time with you kicking and screaming, which doesn’t affect him bc he’s a fucking tree

This became routine. Iida was with you almost 24/7, keeping you in line. This caused even more tension between you guys

“I don’t need a babysitter!”

“Well you wouldn’t if you stopped acting like a baby and attended to your duties!” *snickers* “You’re gonna tell me you’re not a baby when you can’t even not laugh at the word ‘duty’?!!!”

The bickering wouldn’t stop and it was driving EVERYONE crazy

So as Aizawa solves all problems, he paired up the duo with pent up frustration for their final exam

You guys were rolling your eyes when you saw you had to work together but weren’t surprised tbh

It seemed like you guys weren’t gonna make it, but at the last second you were able to distract Cementoss and give Iida an in to dash up and capture him

You guys cheered and high fived when you realized you’d passed, the negative feelings towards each other forgotten

Afterward you guys had a talk.

“Good job out there today, Iida. I’m impressed on how you came up with a strategy so quick. I guess studying so much does actually help, huh.”

“Thank you, L/N! I appreciate the kind words, especially coming from someone who has such good control over their quirk like yourself!”

The whole time both of you were staring at the ground, blushing to hard to look at the other person while complimenting them. Iida still did the hand waving tho lmao

Afterwards, Iida still kept an eye on you always bc he thinks you have a lot of potential and wants you to do well

And you don’t find him as annoying anymore, so don’t really try to avoid him

This ends up with you guys basically just hanging out rather than him chaperoning you.

Training, studying, making food, you guys are together a lot

You and Iida occupied a table in the dining area for your studies for the millionth night in a row. The other students know better than to disturb you at this point. Yes, you guys are friends now, but you still bicker like an old married couple.

“I could really go for some ice cream right now,” you said while leaning back in your chair.

“L/N! You know that stuff isn’t good for you! Why do you wish to consume such sugary content?! Why don’t you eat an apple instead?!”

“I don’t think that’s how cravings work. Besides we have training tomorrow and always so I will still be keeping myself in shape. It’s one treat.”

“L/N, we are studying to become the best heroes! We need to be responsi-“

“But that’s just it! We are always going to be working to be the best we can be. You need to be able to enjoy yourself. Life isn’t all about work, you know?” You said standing up and grabbing his arm, “We’re going out. Come on!”

“Absolutely not! It is after curfew! It would be dangerous and-“ Iida lectured on and on until you guys were basically in front of the ice cream place. He tried to get you to stay back, but you were surprisingly strong when you were determined. (Also, he probably wasn’t resisting as much as he could’ve).

You guys went in and ordered. You got cookie dough with some chocolate syrup on top, and Iida got a scoop of vanilla on a cone, only because you insisted he get something. After you got the ice cream you went to a nearby park and sat on a bench.

“Mmmmmm this is so good. Totally worth it.” You say as you take your first bite, eyes closed while enjoying the delicious dessert.

“I’m not sure if it was worth breaking the rules, but as long you are enjoying yourself I guess it’s alright.”

“That’s because you got the most boring flavor. Here try some of mine.” You said raising a spoonful up to him.

This caused his face to go red and he stared at you with wide eyes for a few seconds before speaking. “No, L/N! I appreciate the offer but it would be inappropriate. Mine is perfectly fine and-“

As he was rambling, you shoved the spoon in his mouth, making him blush even harder. “L/N! You could’ve choked me.”

“But was it good though?”

“Yes, I suppose so.” He said at almost a whisper.

A shit-eating grin grew on your face, “Told ya so. See, Iida look.” You gestured over to the sight in front of you. There were people scattered throughout the park enjoying their night, and you could even see the glowing city in the distance. “We are a part of what makes this all possible. There wouldn’t be people out here living their lives if we didn’t keep them safe. It may not be too often, but we still get to relish in the world we created too. It reminds us why we do what we do.”

Iida couldn’t help but just stare at you for a hot minute. You looked gorgeous under the moonlight while you looked around in awe. You were more wise than he ever gave you credit for. He had always thought you were carefree, but actually you just had cared about things differently than him and he failed to realize.

“You’re right, L/N. We should be able to enjoy this more often.”

“We?”

“Of course. Why would I do something fun without you?” Now you started to get all flustered. Feeling heat rush to your face, you covered it with your hands and looked toward the ground. “Are you alright? Sorry I didn’t mean to say anything that would upset you.”

“No, don’t worry. You didn’t upset me. I would love to spend some time with you.”

So you guys did. Well you already spent a lot of time together already but now you guys would go out and do something fun if you had free time

Like instead of training on the weekends, you guys sometimes walked around the park.

And every time you’d go, you guys would also visit the ice cream shop you guys went to that one night and try a new flavor

You also were participating more in class. You’re grades were getting better from the beginning of your guys’ relationship, but now you actually were invested.

After a test, you would show Iida your grade and thank him for all his help, and he would be so proud and excited for you

Of course, your classmates started to catch onto you guys being more and more friendly with each other

Hagakure snuck up on you guys one day while you were studying. “Alright, when did you two start dating? We all thought you hated each other but now we know it was all an act to throw us off, so spill the beans.”

“Oh, no we’re not dating.” You replied

“Well..” Iida started to talk and your eyes darted towards him

“I mean now that someone has said it, I wouldn’t be opposed to dating you, L/N. I really enjoy my time with you and think you’re a great person. Could I take you on an official date?”

“Y-yea I would really like that.”

“Awwww that was so adorable! I can’t believe I just help you guys get together!” She skipped out of the room, on her way to tell everyone her accomplishments

“Sorry, L/N, that probably wasn’t the best timing.”

“Call me Y/N”

“O-oh okay… Y/N. I’m looking forward to going out with you.”

“Me too, Tenya.” You said smiling and grabbing his hand.

Barely anything was said the rest of the time, but you guys couldn’t stop smiling and you didn’t let go of each other’s hands. Safe to say no information was retained from this study session

#iida x reader #mha fluff #mha headcanons #tenya lida #iida headcanons #iida fluff

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reflections-in-a-critical-eye · 3 years ago

Note

Hi BMT,

How are you? I love reading your blog. Unfortunately, I hadn't been able to do much this week but I finally managed to catch up. I really love your discussions and your general attitude towards things. I saw the anon that was basically saying shit about Jimin when they posted about JK. It's so funny because I used to be that person years ago.

When I first got into BTS, I had already heard about Jimin so I purely wanted to avoid him. I always tend to avoid the members that might be the most biased/face of the group. Since I didn't know much about BTS but knew about Jimin, I decided that I didn't like him because he had enough attention and people who liked him. Typing this feels really hypocritical now because I somehow decided that I will bias JK and he is also a popular member. I honestly became one of those ridiculous fans that are so obsessed with their bias that I couldn't see anything else. I slowly warmed up to the rest of the members but kept putting Jimin at an arm length. I could never tell why I did that but I did. However, as I started watching more of their stuff and their performances, I couldn't stop watching Jimin. It used to drive me insane because I wanted to notice others. My dislike for him was further justified by how he was treated by part of the fandom. To make myself feel better, I only looked at the negative online stuff about Jimin. I came across most of the members solo stans who absolutely despised him. Some of my vivid memories include getting annoyed at him for standing out, getting too close to the members, being known for his dancing, his voice standing out, his presence standing out. It got really toxic for me and all the online people made me feel like what I was feeling was justified. My effort to try ignoring Jimin continued on for 6 months but one day I saw a performance of BTS and I think Jimin was either sitting or he wasn't there. My first thought was why is this performance weird, where is the energy, why am I not liking it as much blah blah blah. Then it suddenly hit me. One of the biggest reasons that I had liked BTS was because of their performance and the one person who always made it memorable was Jimin. It was such a shock to me. I think I stopped watching them for few weeks and then went back. Once I went back, all my prejudice against him has disappeared. I couldn't remember why I disliked him.

Within the two weeks break, I had a serious check in with myself. I was trying to figure.why I would dislike someone that I knew nothing about, that all the members seemed to love etc. Then it hit me why I disliked him to begin with. I was so consumed by wanting my favorite to be the best that I saw Jimin as a threat. Out of all the members, I thought that he would be the one who could compete equally with all the members especially JK. I had unknowingly made him my enemy and felt threathed by him. I also think that I felt he got too much attention and that annoyed me more. Once I figured that out, luckily I was able to get over that. It literally changed my perspective about BTS. Now Jimin is my bias with JK. I couldn't believe how much Stan culture affects you. The anons thing about Jimin is something I would have wrote few years ago. Thank God I don't sound like them anymore and didn't deprive myself from enjoying Jimin at his fullest. I feel like all these people including my previous self do not understand or chose to ignore how big Jimin actually is. His talents know no boundaries. Once he releases his solo stuff, everyone is going to try match up. His performance skills are on another level. I am scared of his solo debut the most. The idea that he needs other members for attention is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Even when I didn't like him, I wasn't that stupid. The dude hot attention everywhere he went. People always carry on about how Jin and V are the visual but oftentimes when people meet BTS the first time, they notice Jimins looks the most. The dude is ridiculously charismatic without trying.

Sorry for the rant. I have been really guilty about my unfounded feelings back in the day but writing this here has made a lot lighter. I hope you won't judge me too hard.

WOW. Don't feel sorry for your rant, this entire story was very illuminating. Not a lot of people are willing to admit their actual reasons because it would make them look bad, but you did and the fact that you became aware of your thought process is a really good thing.

I do understand why you would refuse to like Jimin because he is so popular. I find that this happens quite a lot. Sometimes people refuse something from the start just because it appeals to a lot of people. It speaks more about how we want to be special and not like the same thing everyone does. But of course that deep down, we know it doesn't make any sense and we're just brats. I was guilty of this as well with choosing not to watch certain movies.

What is dangerous though, especially in situations that involve real people, is that a simple refusal of not liking someone can turn into hate for no reason. But you realized all this and came on the other side so to speak. It's like getting out of a cult and you know, spending time with other people who shared your deep dislike of him, only reinforced your beliefs.

I'm glad you sent me this ask, I'm definitely not judging you. Come back after Jimin releases his solo album and tell me what you think.

#bmt asks #jimin #new jimin fan

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luminari-mc · 4 years ago

Text

My Human, My Sunshine - Part 1

Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort.

Pairing: GN!MC x Mammon

Word count: 5194

Summary: Mammon finds himself lost in the human world. Meanwhile, MC can't get ahold of Solomon, their phone dead silent.

Warnings: N/A

A/N: My first writing piece for Obey Me! It's kind of a long one so I recommend you grab a snack or two during it. While this part is occupied by a good amount of text messages between Mammon and someone else, I'm already thinking of writing a part 2 which will have way more dialogue. In the meantime, please enjoy this little scenario I came up with after listening to a song that set me in an angsty mood. :)

______________________________________________________

Wet. Cold. Exhausted. And completely lost.

Mammon felt all of those, and yet, his legs kept on marching into the dead of night, his jacket covering his head despite being too drenched to protect him from the rain anymore. Each time a droplet of water came rolling on his cheek, his wrist would come to brush it off, and Mammon would let out an annoyed groan. If only there were any shops open, but the city was definitely asleep. He was thankful for the crashing sound of the rain on the ground around him, along with the smell of the wet asphalt keeping himself awake, otherwise, he surely would have gone crazy by now. The demon had even lost count of how many hours he had been wandering through the streets, how many mailboxes he had checked, how few passersby he had come across, only to receive negative answers to his questions.

And so Mammon kept on walking, not sure where to go next. But he felt sure of one thing: he wouldn't stop moving until he had found what he was looking for. Be there rain, or no rain. Lost or not.

"Tch, the human world's weather really sucks..."

As he walked on the pavement, his brow furrowed from the lack of new clues as to where his destination was supposed to be. His eyes caught sight of a bakery he had already walked by earlier during the day, its gentle light piercing the darkness that had been accompanying him for far too long now. Mammon's brow furrowed slightly at the sight- he knew he had gone in circles time and time again, but seeing it confirmed once more rubbed him the wrong way. Despite that, he decided to walk towards it, and took shelter under the entrance's porch. Surely the owners wouldn't mind him checking his phone for a few minutes, right? Right.

Pinching between his fingers the precious D.D.D. he had tucked under his shirt to protect it from the rain, Mammon looked at the map again. His stomach dropped for the upteenth time upon seeing the address still showing in his search bar, the letters and numbers taunting him. A knot formed in his throat as he tried his best not to scream at his screen.

"It wasn't there, you idiot..."

His mouth formed into an angry pout. Mammon looked into the list of potential addresses he had made throughout the day, and all had been crossed out. He felt his jaw clench- not only was he left with no addresses, no other clues, no humans to help him, but also that stupid rain surely would keep on falling for the rest of the night.

He was truly cursed.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do now?!" Mammon groaned, his free hand reaching upward to grab at his hair in frustration.

Yes... that was a good question. What was he supposed to do? It wasn't like he could ask help from any of his brothers, or from the angels. It had already been a miracle a witch he knew accepted to snuck him into the human world without anyone knowing, but there was no way he'd get any more help from her without offering his own life in exchange. And contacting Solomon was absolutely out of the question, for his own obvious reasons that he still was suspicious of the guy.

For the longest time in a while, Mammon felt alone. More alone than he had ever been before. He had promised himself to go on this search on his own, stupidly thinking that it'd be over by the end of the day, and look where that got him. Lost in the human world, on the verge of catching some nasty human virus from all this rain that had poured on him, and without anyone by his side.

The grip on his phone tightened, the hand holding it shaking slightly as the anger was starting to consume the demon. Even Mammon's patience had its limits, and he was starting to reach it.

"Dammit, where the hell are ya-"

A pathetic yelp escaped his mouth as he looked in fear at his phone, which had buzzed for a very short second in his palm. Wait, was it a notification? But from who? He had taken all the necessary precautions before leaving, so who was still able to reach his number?

His mind ran through all possibilities as he quickly checked his screen, the name of the sender making him open his eyes wide.

Leviathan: Mammon!!

Leviathan: Where are you???

Leviathan: You promised me you'd play this new game with me after coming home from RAD, don't tell me you forgot?? It's been HOURS.

Leviathan: Also the others say they can't reach your DDD and Lucifer is seriously pissed!

Leviathan: And I know you didn't break your DDD, that wouldn't explain why I can send texts now and the others still can't. Even though mine didn't work before.

Leviathan: But do you know how much time and effort it took me to find a way to bypass a blocked number?? Well guess what, the same amount of hours since you broke your promise!

Leviathan: You're reading this, right? Then send something! Anything!

Mammon backed even more into the porch of the shop, his eyes stuck to the screen of his phone. All of the blood rushing to his head suddenly made him forget he was cold in the first place. Of course Levi would be the first to find a way to contact him.

The demon's chest rose as he breathed in heavily, his hands slowly wrapping around the phone. It took him a hot minute to get ahold of his trembling fingers so as to not make any typos, his mind debating whether responding was a good idea or not, even as he hit the send button.

Mammon: Sorry Levi, gonna have to postpone the gaming session.

Mammon: I got business elsewhere and I'm not sure when I'll come back home, if ever.

Leviathan: Ew stop sounding so gloomy, you're almost starting to sound like me and tbh it would be kinda creepy.

Leviathan: That still doesn't tell me where you are! I know it's like a common thing for you to get into shady stuff on a regular basis but even Lucifer seems concerned, and weirdly enough he's not even trying to hide it???

Leviathan: He's been pacing back and forth in the common room for 20 minutes and won't let go of his phone it's starting to creep me out.

Leviathan: Hey huh, if you really were in big trouble you'd let us know, right? Like, even by typing a secret message to let us know that you got kidnapped or whatever?

Leviathan: Nevermind, I really don't see why you'd even get kidnapped, so it HAS to be that you chose to disappear by yourself.

Leviathan: But anyway! It's been 2 months now since everyone's been acting weird and I've seen and heard you enough to CLEARLY see that you're getting worse but finding trouble with witches or whatever won't help you feel better. And yes I know you've been faking being fine the entire time!! Don't think you can fool me!!

Leviathan: Believe me and the hundreds of figurines I bought!! I thought they'd help and it's somehow doing nothing, I feel like the worst fraud of an otaku EVER!!! How can I call myself an otaku when I can't even find joy anymore in the things that make an otaku what he is??

Leviathan: It's like I'm losing my identity! Wait no screw that, it's not just me, we've all been losing it!!

The three dots of a message being typed disappeared and reappeared, and Mammon couldn't do anything but watch the messages of his brother pop up one after another on his screen. A sense of guilt surfaced inside of him, and it only made him frown. It's not as if he hadn't thought about asking Levi for help, before getting himself into this mess... but for both of their sakes, he had decided that it had to be him coming here, and only him.

But suddenly, just as he expected his brother to send another message, the three dots disappeared, and didn't come back right away. Mammon's focus on his phone increased at the unexplained absence of new texts from Levi, and he waited, expecting him to continue the chain of messages he had started. But nothing followed.

It wasn't in Levi's habits to suddenly stop texting in the middle of a flood of texts. The demon gripped his phone tighter, worry beginning to grow within his mind. Was it because they were in different worlds that their phones couldn't reach properly? Or worse- had Lucifer found him out?

His heart almost skipped a beat as the three dots reappeared under his eyes, before letting another message pop up.

Leviathan: wait

Leviathan: waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait

Leviathan: OMG NO WAY

Leviathan: MAMMON TELL ME YOU'RE KIDDING

Mammon: I literally haven't said anything?

Leviathan: YOU PERFECTLY KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT

Leviathan: DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE IN THE HUMAN WORLD RN??

Shit.

How did he even find out?! Well... he could only assume that it wouldn't take a genius to figure out where Mammon could have gone if not anywhere in the Devildom, but still, why did Levi have to type it out? His plan was supposed to be flawless after all.

Mammon: Sorry bro, I can't say where I am.

Mammon: I know Lucifer's bound to check all of your DDDs sooner or later and that's only gonna help him find me.

Mammon: And like I said, I have something to do, so I can't come back.

Leviathan: Wait! I'll delete all of our messages, and I'll even destroy my DDD if it means you tell me why you're there

Leviathan: Actually no don't even answer, there can only be one reason you took that kind of risk

Leviathan: Is it... because of MC?

Upon reading their name again, Mammon felt his stomach sink. The eyes of the Avatar of Greed closed almost instantly as if to avoid reading it, the damp air whistling through his teeth as he breathed in deeply. Of course Levi would figure that out too. Any of his brothers could have.

The demon leaned his head against the wall behind him, his eyes opening and staring into nothing as he contemplated telling Levi about his plan. It wasn't as if he had any backup plans considering the situation he was in, after all. And Levi had the advantage of being at home, and having access to technology and magic that could improve his search further. But the thought of Lucifer figuring everything out still haunted him, making the hair on his skin stand straight.

And yet... At this point, he had nothing else to lose.

Mammon: Ya gotta promise not to tell anyone about this.

Leviathan: Who do you take me for? I'm not a snitch!

Leviathan: Especially if it's about MC.

Leviathan: But huh... what about Lucifer? You know that if when he finds out you went to the human world, he's going to kill you.

Mammon: Fuck Lucifer.

Mammon: I'm tired of hearin' him say he's "taking care of it". He clearly knows something but won't tell any of us and I'm tired of not getting any news from MC since they left the Devildom 2 months ago.

Mammon: And what's with his excuse about them not havin' their DDD anymore to contact us? I call that a load of bullshit.

Mammon: Something weird happened and Lucifer's too stuck-up to let us know what it is.

Mammon: So I'm done waiting around to see when they'll come back, or IF they'll even come back. So I'm going to get them myself.

Mammon: Problem is, I went to MC's place, and they weren't there. Their neighbor told me that they moved out a while ago with, get this, "a guy with white hair".

Leviathan: ??????? Solomon?????

Mammon: I'd bet my Demonio and all the things I possess that it's him.

Mammon: Not only Lucifer's in on this secret thing about MC, but Solomon too. I've already booked him an appointment with my fists if he did anythin' to them.

Mammon: Hell, even Diavolo and Barbatos seem to be in it too, which sucks even bigger time.

Mammon: So that means it's just us 6 who don't know shit. I wasn't about to play nice and dumb for Lucifer any longer.

Leviathan: Mammon

Leviathan: I never thought I'd ever write something like that to YOU

Leviathan: but

Leviathan: you sound super cool rn!! That just makes me wish I could have gone too!!

Leviathan: Pleasepleaseplease let me help!!! I'm also worried about MC and I miss having them here. The atmosphere at the house has sucked ever since we realized we couldn't text or call them anymore and I huh... kinda miss seeing them around the others too.

For a split second, Mammon considered taking a screenshot of Levi's last message to sell it as "the proof that the Avatar of Envy can control his jealousy!", but now wasn't the time for that. He had Levi's approval for helping him find the whereabouts of MC, and that's all he needed at the moment. He hadn't even noticed his lips turning into a small grin upon reading his brother offering his support.

Mammon: Alright Levi listen.

Mammon: All I'm tryin' right now is to find where MC might be.

Mammon: I don't think they left the place I'm at, but I ain't about to search at every damn house there is here. Would take too much time anyway.

Mammon: So can ya use your shut-in powers and figure somethin' out? Like I don't know, catch their human phone's signal or whatever through hacking?

Leviathan: Lol? I'll let you know it's not because I spend my entire days in my room that I know how to find a human phone!

Leviathan: I know how to hack yeah, but I don't know how to hack human technology! Not that I maybe tried once or twice and it resulted in failure each time.

Leviathan: But huh... I could try?

Leviathan: Let me ask Satan if we could use magic too.

Mammon: Satan? Levi, are you stupid? Last thing we want is to get more people to know about what I'm doing.

Leviathan: Oh huh yeaaaah, about that.

Leviathan: I should have told you sooner, but when I stopped answering earlier it's because Satan caught me texting you.

Leviathan: But he actually knew you had left to the human world! So we don't have to worry! He's on our side... obviously.

Mammon: Then the two of you get on it.

Mammon: And don't catch Lucifer's attention.

Leviathan: Yeah!

Leviathan: I'll let you know when we've found something.

Leviathan: BRB!

And then just like earlier, Levi's texts stopped appearing on his screen. A sigh left Mammon's lips as he closed his eyes, and the demon allowed his body to slide against the wall behind him until he was sitting on the ground. As he stretched out his sore body, the second-born finally realized that after two whole months of not getting to hear MC's voice, seeing their smile, getting to touch them... he had gotten closer to finding them, all thanks to his brothers. He had let Lucifer's intimidation get the best of him throughout all this time, but not anymore. No matter whether his older brother would catch wind of where he was, and what he was doing, Mammon would never stop trying to bring back MC where they belonged. With him, in the Devildom, back with the family they had found and grown to love.

Closing the messaging app with his thumb, the picture of MC he had set as his D.D.D. background seemed to radiate like the sun. How dared them all try to separate his human from their first man? From the one who'd they come to whenever they had a nightmare and couldn't fall asleep? The demon who'd hug them as tight as possible in their bed after a long day at RAD? The one who'd had the chance to fall asleep with them, getting the absolute honor of seeing their face so close to his, and who'd protect their dreams from any bad thoughts and scary nightmares?

The anxiety that Mammon had worn on his face all day slowly disappeared, and a small smile was placed upon it instead as his eyes met MC's in the picture.

"I'm almost there. Ya just gotta be patient a little more."

I'll find ya.

Time went on as Mammon waited for any news of Levi and Satan's research. The rain showed no sign of clearing soon, and the demon was starting to doze off after spending his entire day without taking a single break. He could have almost fallen asleep if it hadn't been for the owner of the bakery opening the door to close his shop and asking him to sit somewhere else. So Mammon moved from one spot to another, and took shelter near another store instead.

After what seemed like an eternity of waiting on the stone steps he had sat on, his phone's screen flashed a bright light as a new notification from Levi appeared from the top. Quickly passing his wrist on his tired eyes, Mammon tapped on the new message at the speed of light. The contents made him gasp, and for a second, he had almost forgotten how to breathe, as his now wide-open eyes were glued on the content of the message.

A full-on address, along with a picture of the place.

Mammon instantly stood up at the sight of the picture, the memories of his day resurfacing in a flash. He remembered very clearly seeing this particular building sometime during his search- its height had been making it stand out very easily amongst the other buildings in the city. Nobody couldn't mistake it with anything else.

Mammon: This is it?

Leviathan: Yeah, we placed down a map and confirmed it was there.

Leviathan: Satan actually found a book in his room with a spell that can help find a person's specific item with just some of their DNA.

Leviathan: So we went to MC's room and found some hair that Satan used for the spell, along with his phone so it could narrow down the list of MC's items.

Leviathan: I didn't think Satan's room could look even more of a mess, but he spent 10 minutes shoveling through his collection and now you can't even see the floor or his bed anymore lol

Leviathan: Anyway now that you got what you wanted, go and check if MC is there!

Mammon felt his legs move on their own as he flipped his jacket above his head and stepped under the rain again, a confident grin now brightly adorning his face as he typed on his phone to reply.

Mammon: Thanks Levi. I'll owe ya one.

Leviathan: Find MC and bring them back. Then you can consider us even.

Mammon nodded, a newfound hope filling his entire body and mind. After confirming that Levi had ceased texting him, the demon turned the phone off. He opened his hand to drop it on the wet floor, and let his right foot crash down upon it, the object almost breaking in half. Mammon promptly gathered in his hand the shattered item, now completely unusable, and threw it down a nearby sewer before letting his excitement take the best of him and sprint further in the direction of the building from the picture. At least, now Lucifer wouldn't be able to track him down with it if Levi and Satan got caught.

The more distance he covered, the more Mammon could swear he was about to take on his demon form at any moment. The thoughts of MC began to fill his head even more, as if they were the one pushing him to find them, to get to them as soon as possible. For the first time in 2 months, Mammon felt truly alive.

"Almost there. The Great Mammon's coming for ya, MC!!" he let out in the form of an encouragement to himself, his legs having found their energy again as his form was engulfed further into the city.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Anxiously pacing around the room, their head low and their phone in their hands, MC was growing more and more impatient. They were supposed to receive an update from Solomon about three hours earlier in the form of a phone call, but no matter the amount of messages they'd spent in the hopes of the wizard finally answering them, all they received was a dreadful silence. Grabbing a nearby chair, they let their body fall onto the seat as their fingers typed yet another message. They couldn't really understand how they had come to grow so persistent when it came to getting Solomon to reply to them, but having no other person to talk to ever since they left the Devildom 2 months prior would do that to anyone, they assumed.

'Solomon, sorry, I know I'm sending a lot of texts, but you said you'd visit today and I'm starting to be worried and... honestly a bit lonely. I thought going out today would help, but I just sat in the park for an hour before going back home and not doing much of the day.'

'You were supposed to meet with other wizards today, right? I hope nothing bad happened. But in case you're alright, all I'm asking is just one reply to at least get some sort of human connection. Not that I had a lot of it in the past few months.'

They felt their throat tighten upon writing their last sentence, feeling the frustration spilling out of their own words right back into their face. But who could blame them?

2 months without seeing, hearing, or even texting their friends back in the Devildom. 2 months without receiving a single visit from Luke or Simeon. 2 months spent exclusively with the company of Solomon, who had been acting strange ever since and had made them move out of their home under the excuse that it was to "train them at magic in a more private setting". But more importantly... those had been 2 months without having Mammon around, and MC would lie if they said they hadn't spent several nights crying themself to sleep, wondering how the demon was dealing with their absence.

The memories of their latest departure from the Devildom played in their head like a movie as they placed a hand on their forehead. Everything had seemed alright at the time, with them getting to say their usual goodbyes to the brothers, wishing to see them again once the new year at RAD would start, foolishly thinking that they'd get to spend their time hearing their voices on a daily basis once they were back in the human world. And before they could understand, their DDD had been taken from them, Solomon had been more present in their life than ever before, and for a reason they still couldn't grasp, it was as if the brothers had vanished from their life completely. No news whatsoever. Complete radio silence.

Just thinking back to this period, and how they could have probably caught that something was up as soon as Diavolo asked for their DDD after the brothers had left... it just made them want to puke.

But nothing could make them want to do so as much as the long-awaited reply of Solomon appearing on their screen.

'Hi MC. I'm deeply sorry I couldn't get ahold of you throughout the day. I won't be able to visit you today, since my services are still required here. Besides, it's getting late. I recommend you go have a good night's sleep as soon as possible.'

'If everything goes smoothly, I should be able to come back tomorrow. Then, we'll be able to go walk wherever you want. How does that sound?'

'I need to be going, but I shall wish you a good night. Take care, MC.'

And just as quickly as he had answered, Solomon went silent again. Leaving them in this apartment they had grown to hate, this prison cell he had put them in. A place where no fun could be found for them. MC didn't even bother sending anything else after that.

Their head sunk even lower, until their forehead slowly met with the hard surface of the dinner table. The phone faceplanted onto the wood as MC's hands turned into hard fists, a deep groan shaking the walls of their throat. It was hard not to let the tears escape their eyes, but instead, they opted to punch the table several times as hard as they could, until they felt their anger diminish.

How long was Solomon going to act ignorant towards them? How long was he going to ignore their pleas to get news from the Devildom, anything that would let them know why they couldn't contact the brothers, Diavolo and Barbatos? Even if the lords had been in some sort of trouble... they'd still find time to talk to their human, right? There was no way Mammon, the one they loved, wouldn't try to reach them one way or another... right?

Him who had been so clingy in such an adorable way every time they'd be at the House of Lamentation, he who had revealed to them that there wasn't a single day where his thoughts wouldn't drift to them no matter how hard he tried...

No. No amount of important duties would explain why Mammon of all demons, would ignore them like that.

They missed his antics. His entire being. The warmth he'd bring them each time he'd hold their hand before tucking his face into their neck like a pouting child, desperately trying to sneak one or two kisses in there, in the hopes he'd get to hear that sweet giggle of them. It wasn't for nothing that Lucifer had come to name them the chaotic duo of the House of Lamentation. They were two parts of a whole.

And yet, the world had dared to separate them. And MC was tired, oh so tired of not having their other half near them. The only feeling they had left, was one of pure desperation to see their greedy demon.

"I'm not asking for much... even a single word would do." MC replied to no one as they turned their head to rest their cheek onto the table. They closed their eyes, the anger slowly being replaced by a profound exhaustion. Could they really do nothing but act normal around Solomon, and accept that this was now their new life? No demons, no angels, just... humans around them?

Before they could slap the thought away, a loud banging coming from the entrance door made them straighten in their seat, their head turning towards the hallway in a panic. Their heart pounded inside their chest as the banging seemed to go on forever, until they used the back of their chair to push themself up, their legs shaking.

"S...Solomon?" They asked, way too silently for anyone to hear, and fully knowing that the person behind the door couldn't be the wizard.

As if they were waiting for an answer, MC stood there, their hand grasped onto the chair. The banging was insistent, demanding, angry. At this time of night, there were few reasons they could think why someone would mistreat their door in such a way, and MC wasn't sure they wanted to find the reason for it.

That is, until the person behind the door finally let their voice be heard.

"Oi, MC! Ya can hear me right?! Come on, open the door!"

It didn't take long for MC to let the familiar voice enter their ears, and it took less time for them to nearly stumble over the chair as their legs moved in a hurry to lead them towards the door as quickly as possible. Their hands messily trying to open the locks on the door, they were sure their mind had just played a trick on them, and the person outside was going to leave them completely disappointed, but they didn't care. This voice they could only remember so well despite the time since they had last heard it, was simply inviting them to open the door, to check for themselves whether it was true, or just a nasty joke played by their brain.

But as the last lock was undone, and the door was swung open, MC couldn't do anything but just stand there, their mouth agape.

Mammon kept on drawing breaths, his wet hair stuck to his forehead and drops of rain falling from his clothes onto the floor below, so much so that it had started to create a small puddle underneath him. As if the person who opened the door wasn't the one he expected, the demon took a step back, letting his eyes wander up and down on the human he had in front of him, almost in an attempt to check if it was really them. He too, couldn't stop his mouth from hanging open at the sight.

The two of them just stood there for a few seconds, taken by so many emotions at once that they weren't sure what to do. But right as Mammon took a step forward, his mouth opening some more to let out words that he so desperately had wanted to say for so long now, MC's face contorted into one of pure sadness before they rushed towards him. Mammon greedily welcomed them into his arms as they jumped and wrapped their arms around his shoulders, and their legs around his waist. They buried their face into his neck, the warmth of their tears mixing with the rain on his skin.

His embrace only tightened even more as they mumbled his name amidst broken sobs, the sound ever so close to his ear that even though he had his eyes firmly closed, he might have cried on the spot too. But he had found them. He had them in his arms again. After what had seemed like a million years, finally, they were back where they belonged, and he was back with his human.

Almost as if they were about to be pulled away from him, Mammon placed a hand on the back of their head, wanting to protect their entire being from harm no matter the cost. He still wasn't sure why it had taken so long for him to reunite with them despite the obstacles, but at the present moment, nothing else could matter.

The lord had finally found them, and he wasn't about to let anyone interfer between their happiness once more.

"I ain't letting you go." He whispered through gritted teeth, his head lowering into their shoulder. "Ever again."

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ayamturd · 4 years ago

Text

yourself│awesamdude

summary: love is precious, love is pure; how insecure thoughts and concerns trouble a scared lover, and how to convince one they are deserving of said love

warnings: descriptive insecure + self-deprecating thoughts, slight angst to fluff

pairing: in-game c!awesamdude

a/n: couldn’t stop thinking of this concept, i wouldn’t physically sleep till i wrote it all out lol

pls know you are loved, that you matter and are important. even if it doesn’t feel like, i’ll say now that i do, i love you. i don’t need to know you to know you deserve love, you deserve to know you are amazing for being yourself and for simply trying your best by existing for what it is <3

wc: (2.1k) - m.list

“Why do you love me?”

It was late. Very late.

The sky was pitch black and the forest held nothing but a ringing silence to screen, the brief sounds of woodland creatures along with lurking monsters occasionally breaking through. While the night was alive by the stir of the wind, the world above was obscured beneath the depths of the newly discovered mineshaft.

You were tired, your body aching and sore from the continuous grind along side your lover for the past few hours now. Unbeknownst to you, the early morn had been replaced with the midnight sky, the twists of the cave’s darkness becoming so lost to your sensitive eyes.

While you were resting on a large boulder, Sam’s stamina was relentless as he worked to mine into the next cave tunnel. He was beautiful, to say the least.

The ever so flicker of nearby torches illuminated only the best of his features, his usual mask hanging low around his neck due to the cramped and tight spaces underground. His brows were furrowed, the gentle concentration that pulled onto his face strangely handsome to observe.

His hair, the dark yet notable green shade, was seemingly drenched with sweat. In spite of how dreadful the thought could come across, it only did him wonders when weighing his locks down to frame his face. It curled around his eyes, the sage emerald-color contrasting his light skin tone while emphasizing the dark glisten of his squinted eyes.

Through his intent and determined grunts with every swing of his blade against the course stone, his stance was firm and strong, each strike crumbling beneath him from pure strength and integrity.

Moments like these were random, but reoccurring. Moments where you could stop to stare at him for hours on end, appreciate him for what he was and all that he did, yet question on why he was still here.

Why someone so talented and earnest in his work could even consider you as someone special, someone worth his attention and love to be with.

You spoke before you could stop to process your words and what possible answer he could imagine. Your curiosity got the better of you, and your insecurity blinded your perception. It didn’t seem like he heard you initially, and as you began to take it as a sign to forget the question entirely, his diligent swings stopped and his heavy panting filled the air.

He carelessly rested the large tool on top of his shoulders, twisting only his head in your direction while wiping the salty sting of raining sweat from his eyes.

“Huh?”

“Why do you love me?” you asked again.

Pushing yourself up, you glanced down while fiddling with your pickaxe, the old wrap around its handle fraying ever so lightly despite its lack of consistent use. You’d need to replace it soon.

“I just- it’s hard sometimes, you know? To think why you’ve stayed with me for so long or why you even want to stay with me altogether.”

You suddenly lost all courage, and couldn’t dare look him straight in the eye from your admittance. There was an unfounded trust your relationship, no doubt, but trust can only go far when comparing yourself to others. This was a question of worth, of importance when believing one has nothing special to give to someone who deserves the world.

“Love…”

Shaking your head, you turned away from him to face the arching gem wall, driving your pickaxe into the thick, shimmering stone with a slam before wrapping your arms around yourself. You bit the inner side of your check, loose and anxious thoughts raging wild to come through in the vulnerable space.

Your hands shook in unpredictable expectations, fingers twitching against your pounding chest.

“I know you’re going to dismiss it as some kind of nonsense, ‘insecurity’ thing and honestly, you wouldn’t be wrong. But I can’t help it when you’re you and I’m me.”

The pause that followed was unbearable. Steady breathes pervaded the tense air, and after what felt to be an entirety in harsh, prolonged silence, you heard the shuffles of his feet when cautiously approaching you from behind.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” His tone was serious, yet his voice soft. Like he was cornering a scared and injured animal, he seemed mindful of his volume for your own concern. Another quality to consider: he was too kind than for what you rightfully earned.

There was so much to say, yet so little at the same time. You were at a loss for words on how to explain something so broad and conceptually troubling to see through. How does one explain how little they matter? How meaningless they are in the grand scheme of things to someone that only tries to see the best of them.

Someone that would refuse a truth for the sake of your troubled mentality.

“Well- you know…”

He stood directly behind you now, his radiating warmth encompassing your entire being, leaving you to shudder from the sharp contrast in the freezing underground. Hands hovering your rigid shoulders, he contemplated touching you but decided against it. He dropped his arms to his side with a sigh.

“No, I don’t. What possible reasoning could you have for me not to love you?”

His pleading whisper was left unanswered, your body frozen to the guilt that consumed you from worrying him over your own problematic assumptions. As if he could read you, he began a different approach to break through to you.

“Why do you love me?”

His unexpected question immediately caused you to go in defense. Spinning around, you glared up at him with resistant eyes, the response to trade your unsure gaze with ones that screamed in flipped concern for his own good.

“Don’t do that.”

Sam’s own eyes remained just as hard, the unnatural line from his neutral expression pulling further to create an evident frown. He was just as serious as you.

“I’m serious here. What reasoning do you have to love me? A screw up, that does nothing but hurt others no matter how much I try in opposition to protect.”

Admittedly shaking your head, you unconsciously reached to grab the front of his chest plate, the enchanted armor glowing beneath your bare hands as you forcefully pushed him in disagreement.

You knew what he was referencing to, and how hard the events became for him. No matter if Tommy would never forgive him, he had yet to forgive himself in any reasonable sense.

“You know that’s not true. Mistakes are mistakes that can’t always be avoided or your fault.”

Tilting his head, Sam’s nose scrunched aggressively to your argument with a scowl.

“Can’t it?”

While your face dropped from his jarring snap, he only sighed before bowing his head away, rubbing the back of his head with a tired exhale and dropped shoulders. It was his turn to struggle with his own words as you stared intensely for his explanation.

His voice were soft again, and wavered slightly in the near beginning.

“I’m not perfect, far from it actually. No matter how many times you try and reassure me of the fact, I’ll never truly believe anything there is good to say about me. I only see the worst of myself,” he murmured. Although a majority of his speech could have easily been missed from his airy quiet, your ears were strained and focused solely on him.

As you tried to step closer to comfort him in some way or another, he finished his final thought then, causing you to freeze once more.

“And when that negatively becomes too much, I look to you as my light.”

Sam sheepishly faced you, his bashful grin completely deviating from the conversation at hand. An unexpected heat rushed to your face, causing you fall apart by the mere power behind his words.

He gave an airy chuckle, closing his eyes with a gentle smile and opening to reveal such fragility in all he had to tell, eyes watering from the sight of you.

“You give me more hope than I think I could ever deserve. From your shining smile to the smallest forms of affection, you give me a love irreplaceable by others and unconceivable to consider.”

Biting your lip, your eyes also began to tear from the overly tender conceptions. He knew better than to let your thoughts run wild and interrupt him, so he continued before you could open your mouth in protest.

“I love you, for everything you’ve sacrificed and lost. You are my strength that pulls me through, inspires me to continue even on the hardest of days. You teach me to forgive myself and work through my hardships for a greater objective at play.”

Steadily nearing your emotional state, Sam carefully pulled your hands into his own and caressed your knuckles with his callous thumbs. He squeezed them tightly once, before reaching a singular hand against your cheek, catching the fallen tears that escaped your adoring eyes.

“Even if you unintentionally did, you became that objective to pull me through it all.”

A sob escaped you, and Sam was quick to pull you into his chest. He kissed the top of your head earnestly while resuming to whisper his declaration against your hair.

“I love you and all that you do. Everything that I said now, everything that I know how to express, it does nothing to how much you truly impact by merely existing as yourself.”

“Sam-” you had tried to interject, stop him from tearing you to complete bits as an over sentimental puddle, but he chose to speak over you instead.

“I don’t love you simply because you’ve given so much to me, that you’ve went through notions with my sake as priority. I don’t care for any of that in all honesty. I love you, because you do all that you do as yourself.”

Shudder breathes caused you to shake beneath his firm hold, his only response to pull you inhumanely closer if possible.

“It doesn’t matter why or what pushes you to do what you do, it’s the fact that you exist as yourself, that that beautiful heart of yours goes beyond any and all expectations anyone can conceive of you and never fails to the most of any situation to come.”

“You amaze me, y/n,” he hummed. Pulling you back, he raised a single finger below your chin to lift your face to his. He leaned a near breathes away, with an indescribable admiration that caused more tears to spill.

“Why do I love you?” he re-asked.

His own tears coursed down his dirt stained skin, and you habitually moved to cup both of his cheeks.

“Because you’re able to love me, and not even know the adverse effects you cause to those around you.”

Bringing your forehead to his, he kissed your scrunched nose as he released a small whimper, for he had nothing left to express through words.

“If ever you question yourself again, ask yourself how are you able to love someone like me, and know that that same confounding thought shakes my very core and beats my love-stricken heart for you.”

Bonus:

Pathetic giggles bounced around the gem filled enclosure, the high of work finally wearing you both down into a helpless mess of two exhausted, yet stubborn lovers.

You leaned heavily into Sam’s hold, his own stance faltering from the unexpected weight you gave in as he groaned from the fast movement.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m about ready for some rest, wouldn’t you say?”

Giving out incomprehensible whines smothered into the crook of his arm, you raised a lazy hand to give a subtle thumbs up. Sam laughed loudly, and took your silent gesture as an answer.

“You ready to climb back to the surface then?”

Mellow wails spoke for themselves, and he shook his head in joking disbelief to how drained you easily became.

With you still in his arms, he maneuvered around you to grab both of your pickaxes and gathered resources, them too heavy to physically carry for his next course of action. He pulled out his Enderchest and swiftly packed everything away.

Once everything else was settled, he worked on the actual situation in hand; literally, it being you basically asleep on your feet against his balanced arms.

“Here,” he spoke. Lifting from your waist, he placed you on top of an overgrown gem stone and steadied your footing before quickly turning. He gripped your thighs, and even in your tired state, you instinctively jumped onto his back.

He sighed when adjusting you, before making the trek back up the stair incline.

“To think I choose to love you.”

You yawned loudly, and to his surprise, comprehended his words enough to respond.

“Mmmm, that sounds like a ‘you’ problem.” Head propped between his neck, he glanced down at you with a smirk.

“Maybe, but a problem I welcome nonetheless.”

#dream smp x you #dream smp x reader #awesamdude x reader #awesamdude x you #awesamdude x gn!reader #awesamdude imagine #awesamdude x reader fluff #mcyt x reader fluff #mcyt x reader #mcyt x you #dsmp x reader

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beifongsss · 5 years ago

Text

firebending [zuko]

Pairing: Zuko x reader

Requested?: Yes! By a wonderful anon: “your zuko fics are all so well-written! I have a request for a firebender reader who hates the fire nation and was never trained in the art of fighting. then she/they join the gaang and learns firebending with aang from zuko. it’s awkward between them at first but cue ~ romance ~”

Summary: If someone told you that you’d end up dating the Fire Nation prince one day, you would’ve laughed in their face. If only you knew how right they were.

wc. ~5.2k

.masterlist.

When you first joined the Gaang, everyone expected you and Katara to hate each other. After all, you were from the Fire Nation and everybody knew Katara was the biggest anti-Fire Nation enthusiast there ever was.

They were quickly proven wrong when you didn’t fight against Katara’s harsh remarks, instead agreeing with them and even adding more scathing words of your own to show your distaste towards the Fire Nation. Since joining them, you never wore anything related to the Fire Nation. Nothing that is, with the exception of an elaborate hairpiece that your mother had left you. The hairpiece never left your body, the sunstone in the middle of it shining from its place on your head.

Escaping Ba Sing Se (and therefore the Earth Kingdom) had simultaneously been the best and worst thing that had happened to you. You were glad that Aang was alive, obviously, but being back in Fire Nation clothing was making you anxious.

Ever since the battle in the catacombs, you had been avoiding everyone. You had revealed your firebending in a panic, shooting a strong blast of fire at the banished prince as he snuck up on Katara. He had been taken off guard just long enough for you to subdue him before he realized that you didn’t know what you were doing.

There had been no time for Katara to question you after that. You had all fled and met up with her father, Hakoda, before seizing a Fire Nation ship to use as a disguise. As soon as you stepped foot on the ship, you had scrambled to an empty room and locked yourself inside. You had ignored Katara’s pleas for you to open the door, never once moving from your spot unless it was to use the bathroom or to get the tray of food that you knew had been placed at your door.

No one had known you were a firebender, and the initial shock eventually wore off as everyone found themselves missing your presence. It wasn’t until Aang woke up that you finally emerged.

“(Y/N)?” Sokka asked hesitantly, knocking softly on your door.

“Go away!” was the muffled reply that came from your room.

“Nope. I think Aang wants to see you.”

Sokka waited for a few seconds before the door swung open, reveling you standing there. You were wearing your Earth Kingdom clothes, trying to delay the inevitable. You looked up at him, making his heart hurt when he noticed the exhaustion in your eyes.

“Is he really awake?” you asked, your voice small. Sokka nodded.

“Hurry up and get changed. He’s on the deck.”

You nodded softly before closing the door. You opened it again a few minutes later, now dressed in red. As much as Sokka hated to admit it, you looked good in red. The Fire Nation was your home, after all. You followed him up to the deck, your finger nimbly twisting part of your hair into a knot big enough for your hairpiece.

“(Y/N)!” Aang yelled when you came into view. He launched himself at you and you caught him with a small “oof”. You giggled softly as you rubbed his head, making his hair stick up in all directions.

“Aang!” you cried in reply. “You have hair!”

Aang made a funny face at your words before fixing his hair. “Yeah, I guess I was out longer than I thought.”

You leaned down and swept the boy up into another hug, pulling him close as you held tears back. “I’m so glad you’re okay Aang. I don’t know what we would’ve done if you-”

“Don’t worry! Look at me, I’m fine!” Aang said, trying to make you feel better. He led you over to where everyone else was, Katara looking up and smiling softly as you glanced at her. “They also told me about your firebending! How come you never told us?’

You reeled back in shock, looking around wildly as everyone heard Aang’s word. When there were no negative reactions, you relaxed slightly.

“Everyone already knows huh?” you asked drily, being met with nods from everyone on board. You sighed and tapped your foot before speaking. “Okay, yes I’m a firebender. The reason I never told you guys is because I never wanted to use it. I was young when I fled and I never got a chance to learn anything other than the basics.”

Aang nodded in understanding. “But you could’ve built your skills that time we met Jeong Jeong.”

“No. After my family...” you trailed off, thinking about why you never became a master bender. Aang gave you an encouraging look and you breathed in deeply. “I promised myself I wouldn’t firebend ever again. Not after that.”

Aang nodded in understanding as you fell silent, thinking about your past. The Fire Nation was the reason why you had been all alone. They had killed your family with the weapon you now hated: firebending.

The silence engulfed the entire ship, everyone lost in their own thoughts. There was a peaceful atmosphere as the ship drifted along, but of course it didn’t last long.

Soon enough, you found yourself chasing after Aang, eventually being forced to hide in the Fire Nation as the Day Of Black Sun loomed closer and closer.

The promise that you had made to yourself to never firebend again was still intact. You hadn’t let any bursts of fire out, not even when you had found yourself surrounded by Fire Nation troops on the Day of Black Sun. The eclipse was a blessing to you, the brief eight minutes just long enough to make you feel normal.

Of course, you soon found yourselves fleeing to the Western Air Temple, silently mourning the loss the rest of the invasion army. Once you all settled in, you kept wearing the red top you had acquired in the Fire Nation. You don’t know why; it just brought you some type of comfort. Aang had grinned when he noticed, wondering if all your adventures in the Fire Nation had lessened your hatred towards the nation.

It had.

But not by much. Wearing the color red weighed heavily on your soul and you spent many of your waking hours debating whether or not keeping the red clothes was the right choice. It frustrated you to no end, how a simply piece of cloth could jumble your thoughts so easily. The red reminded you of the pain and grief you had experienced when you had lost your family, but in a twisted way it also reminded you of them. It reminded you of the days back when you still had them, back when you still had a home and you were happy. Deep down, you knew that you were Fire Nation but that knowledge didn’t stop your inner turmoil. And over the next few days, it only got worse with the arrival of a certain someone.

“Hello, Zuko here.”

You tried to hold back your groan, you really did. But it was as though the universe wanted to test you and had decided to do so by sending the Fire Nation prince your way. Zuko’s soft smile had dropped at your reaction, the corners of his lips quirking downward.

“Hey, I heard you guys flying around down there, so, I just thought I'd wait for you here,” he continued. Appa walked up to the prince and sniffed him before proceeding to lick him. Zuko’s face twisted up in disgust. “I know you must be surprised to see me here.”

"Not really,” Sokka said. “Since you've followed us all over the world!”

“Right,” Zuko said, wincing slightly as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, uh, anyway, what I wanted to tell you about is that I've changed, and I, uh, I'm good now, and well I think I should join your group, oh, and I can teach firebending to you. See, I, uh-”

“You want to what now?” you asked sharply, exchanging a look with Katara.

“You can't possibly think that any of us would trust you, can you?” she asked, opening her water skin. “I mean, how stupid do you think we are?!”

Zuko’s eyes shifted to you before he answered. “You trust her. She’s a firebender.”

Your eyes widened in anger and you began to march up to the prince, only stopping when Katara held you back.

“I am not, a firebender,” you hissed, staring Zuko down. “And I am not Fire Nation.”

Zuko stayed quiet, his eyes drifting from your red shirt to the hairpiece on your head. You followed his line of sight, eyes widening when you realized he was staring at the sunstone. You yanked your arm out of Katara’s grip, angrily stomping out of the room. You quickly stripped yourself of your red top as soon as you were out of sight before sighing deeply and pulling your hairpiece out. You arrived at the sleeping chamber and sat down on your sleeping bag quietly, holding the hairpiece in your hand tightly.

You stared at it sadly, the sunstone glinting in the dim light. Without hesitation, you pulled your arm back and flung it away, watching the sunstone glint in the sunlight as it rolled towards the edge. It was gone in a second, tumbling over the edge of the temple.

Now you were truly no longer Fire Nation.

Your life had just gotten ten times harder now that Zuko had been allowed to join the group. The defeat of Combustion Man had been intense and you had found injured when it was all over. Unlike Sokka, you had never been good with fighting, always relying on your intelligence to get you out of dire situations. With Combustion Man however, that proved to be a problem, and you had found yourself caught in the middle of a fight with no protection whatsoever.

In addition to the pain of your injury, you found yourself dealing with the prince’s presence. You found yourself avoiding the group entirely, taking on the more tedious chores (like laundry) to avoid spending time with the group and even hanging out with Haru, Teo, and The Duke as they explored the temple.

Tensions didn’t rise until a few days later, beginning when Aang approached you with an idea. After your tragic failure with Combustion Man, Aang believed that you needed to learn how to protect yourself and he thought that the right way to do that was by learning how to firebend. You had vehemently refused, accidentally yelling at the Air Nomad as everyone else watched in silence.

The argument was put on pause for a few days when Aang and Zuko traveled to the Sun Warriors’ ruins but when they came back, Toph had sided with him as well. You felt slightly betrayed by the small earthbender but still refused, stating that there was no way you would willingly learn how to firebend. At least you still had Sokka and Katara on your side.

At least you did until Sokka and Zuko took a trip to The Boiling Rock the next day. When they got back two days later, Sokka was on Aang’s side as well. The fight with Azula on the gondola had left him shaken as he realized just how hard it was to fight a bender with just a sword. You didn’t know how to use a sword, but you could firebend and so Sokka became one of Aang’s supporters. Katara was the only one who was still on your side, but that changed when Azula raided the temple.

Everyone had been woken up suddenly, reacting a bit slower than normal as Azula appeared. She immediately lunged at you, shooting blasts of blue fire as she stalked closer to you. Your eyes were wide with fear, dodging her attacks as much as you could.

“Watch out!” Zuko yelled, tackling you from the side, a pillar crashing down where you had been standing as a result of Azula’s lightning. You grunted softly as you landed, the breath leaving your lungs as Zuko landed on top of you. You opened your eyes immediately, meeting bright gold irises before they looked away as Zuko began to scan you for any visible injuries. Zuko’s hands rested on either side of your head as he tried to keep his weight off of you, not that it helped considering you were still struggling to catch your breath.

Or maybe you were struggling to catch your breath because of how close he was.

“Are you okay?” Zuko asked, drawing your attention back to him. Scowling, you threw him off of you before scrambling to your feet, rushing to help Katara when you heard her yelp. Zuko noticed Toph earthbend a tunnel into the side of the temple, and rushed to join the others. His eyes landed on you as you threw yourself to the side, narrowly dodging another one of Azula’s deadly blasts. The princess grabbed you by the hair, laughing maniacally before dragging you to the airships.

“What are you doing?” Aang yelled, noticing that Zuko had stopped in his path.

“Azula has (Y/N)!” Zuko replied, turning around and facing the airships. “I’m gonna go get her.”

Katara rushed to Aang’s side, exchanging a worried look with him before getting on top of Appa. The rest of the Gaang joined them, holding on tight as they tried to maneuver the sky bison through all the debris.

Zuko ran and launched himself onto the airship, landing safely on top of one. He glared at his sister, noticing that she was still holding onto you.

“Let her go, Azula!” Zuko yelled, his eyes never leaving hers.

“Hmm, I don’t think I will,” Azula replied, the blue flame in her palm growing brighter as she held it up to your face. “I think I’ll get rid of her instead. Then I’ll get rid of you. I can’t wait to celebrate being an only child.”

She inched the flame closer to your face, prompting Zuko to shoot a fire blast near her head. Growling, Azula tossed you to the side before confronting Zuko. The two siblings fought for a few minutes and you tried your best to avoid any wayward blasts. The fight stopped when they both struck at the same time, the resulting blast blowing both of them backwards.

“Zuko!” you cried, sprinting to grab the boy before he fell. You managed to grab onto his hand but his momentum sent you both tumbling into the chasm, a scream getting stuck in your throat as you plummeted. You were so overcome with fear that you didn’t notice Zuko pulling you into him, holding you close as you fell.

The fall didn’t last long, Appa managing to swoop in and save the two of you. You sat quietly on Appa’s saddle, both you and Zuko watching Azula as she kept falling.

“She’s...not gonna make it,” Zuko said softly, his arms tightening around you slightly. You watched with wide eyes as Azula used firebending to propel herself to the cliffside, sliding down a bit further before she took out her hairpin and stuck it into the side of the cliff, effectively ending her fall. “Of course she did.”

The seven of you sat in silence for a few minutes before Katara spoke up, tears in her eyes as she looked at you. “(Y/N), seeing Azula capture you got me thinking. I think...I think that you should learn how to firebend. You need to know how to defend yourself.”

“And I think that you can let go of each other now,” Sokka said cheekily, trying to diffuse the tension that had settled upon the group at Katara’s words. You shimmied out of Zuko’s hold, walking up to the Water Tribe girl and looking at her in disbelief.

“You’re supposed to be on my side Katara,” you hissed, flinching when she tried to reach for your hand. Without another words, you walked away and took Appa’s reins. The rest of the flight was silent, everybody knowing that now was not the time to be chatty.

Once again, you had retreated from the group. It wasn’t exactly hard considering the fact that now it was Katara and Zuko who had disappeared, gone on a quest to find her mother’s murderer. After a few days, Zuko reappeared alone and you found yourselves traveling to Ember Island.

Upon your arrival, you made your way over to Katara, who was standing quietly on the deck.

“I heard what you did,” you spoke first. “I’m glad you didn’t kill him.”

“I couldn’t bring myself to do it,” she whispered back, still looking straight ahead.

“Why?”

She turned slightly, facing you before speaking. “It’s not in my nature to kill. I couldn’t bring myself to use my bending for that. I have the chance to prevent other’s from going through what I went through; from going through what you went through. I want to use my bending for good.”

You mulled over her words for a few seconds before sighing deeply and walking away. Aang watched you quietly as he walked over to Katara, his eyes widening slightly when you walked up to Zuko.

“Ok,” you said quietly, looking up at the prince. “Teach me how to firebend.”

Zuko’s eyes widened briefly before he crossed his arms and composed himself. “Tomorrow at dawn. Be ready.”

And ready you were. Every day. Firebending was a lot easier than you expected, and you found yourself breezing though the basics and the intermediate moves. It wasn’t until you got to the advanced moves that you began to have some trouble.

“No!” Zuko barked. “That’s not how it’s done. Again!”

Your eye twitched before you took your stance again, launching yourself into the move that you were currently working on. You sighed deeply when you realized you had done it wrong again.

“Wrong. Again.”

“If you’re so good at it then come and show me,” you snapped, fed up with his attitude. Zuko straightened up before walking over to you, motioning for you to take your stance once more. You rolled your eyes, blowing the hair out of your eyes before complying.

“I will,” he said, moving your arms into the right position. He walked around you and you opened your mouth to make another comment, stopping when his hand came around from behind and gently shut your jaw. “Don’t say anything.”

Your breath hitched in your throat as he spoke. He was closer than you thought, his lips brushing your ear as he spoke. You shivered when his hands landed on your back, fixing your posture before they made their way to your waist. He gripped your waist firmly, shifting you into position before leaning forwards slightly, whispering in your ear once more. “Do it again.”

Fighting a blush, you did as you were told. You chuckled breathlessly when you did it correctly this time, a blast of fire leaving your hand at the right moment.

“See? You did it,” Zuko said, a faint smirk on his lips. “You’re a natural.”

You bounced up to him, wrapping your arms around his neck in excitement. His arms immediately wrapped around your waist, enjoying the closeness of the hug. You leaned back slightly, meeting his eyes as you smiled cheesily. “It’s only because I have such a great teacher.”

The two of you walked back to the beach house, joking around after a long day of training. Upon entering the beach house, Katara pulled you aside. “(Y/N)! Thank goodness. I need your help in the kitchen!”

You gave Zuko an apologetic smile as you followed Katara, being met with an understanding nod as he went off on his own. Katara handed you a tray of cups, smirking slightly before speaking. “So, you and Zuko huh?”

“What? N-No,” you replied immediately.

“I’m talking about firebending. How’s that going?” Katara said, filling the cups with watermelon juice as she arched an eyebrow.

A bright blush spread across your cheeks as you realized what she was talking about. “O-Oh. It’s going great. Zuko’s been teaching me some advanced moves now!”

Katara hummed in reply, waving you away now that the cups were full. You headed out of the kitchen in a hurry, loosing your footing when you heard Katara speak yet again.

“I bet the next move he makes is gonna be on you.”

The conversation between you and Katara was basically forgotten as the days went by.

Zuko had informed the Gaang about his father’s plan to destroy the Earth Kingdom, causing you all to worry greatly. In addition, Aang had disappeared overnight and all attempts to find him had been futile.

And that’s how you found yourselves following June and her shirshu as she led you to Ba Sing Se, where Zuko’s Uncle Iroh was supposed to be. You had been warmly welcomed by the Order of the White Lotus and Zuko and Iroh had made up, leaving you with only a day to plan out what you were going to do before Sozin’s comet arrived.

It was quickly decided that the Order of the White Lotus would stay behind and reclaim Ba Sing Se while Sokka, Suki, and Toph would set out to destroy the airship fleet. Zuko had asked you and Katara to join him in defeating Azula and although Katara had agreed immediately, you were a bit hesitant. Of course, Zuko noticed and he decided to confront you about it.

“(Y/N),” Zuko said, coming up to you when you were prepping Appa for the ride. Katara was a few yards away, giving the two of you privacy. You glanced at Zuko before climbing onto Appa’s saddle, the prince following closely behind you. “What’s wrong?”

“Zuko, I,” you paused, breathing deeply. “I shouldn’t go. I just started bending and what is something goes wrong? I don’t want to be a liability to y-”

“Hey,” Zuko whispered, ducking his head to make eye contact with you. “I meant what I said on Ember Island. You’re a natural. You’ll be fine.”

You sighed before hugging your knees to your chest. “I just can’t believe that I’m actually returning to the Fire Nation, even if it’s to help you reclaim your throne. I’m just glad that maybe under your rule, things might finally change.”

Zuko stayed quiet before standing up and reaching for his bag. He shuffled around for a moment before kneeling behind you, his fingers gently grabbing your hair.

“What are you-”

“Shh,” Zuko cut you off. “Give me a second.”

His fingers weaved through your hair, putting it up into a style you were all too familiar with. He was gentle with his actions, letting his hands fall to your shoulders when he was done. “There.”

You reached up, your fingers trembling slightly as they brushed over the sunstone that you had known your whole life.

“M-My hairpiece,” you gasped, tears springing to your eyes as you realized how much you had missed it. “How did you-”

“I found it at the Western Air Temple,” Zuko interrupted quietly. “It was after I came to you guys the first time. Katara sent me away and when I was walking under a balcony, it fell onto the ground. I recognized it so I picked it up. I assumed you would want it back at some point.”

Zuko fell backwards when you threw yourself at him, wrapping him up in a tight hug.

“Thank you,” you whispered, leaning up and pressing a kiss to his cheek. A tiny gasp escaped him and you pulled back, meeting his eyes as he stared down at you. The two of you stared at each other for a few tense seconds before you both leaned forwards rapidly, your lips meeting in the middle.

Maybe it was a spur of the moment decision, kissing Zuko. Maybe it was due to to the anxiety bubbling up in you, your emotions hard to control as you prepared to end of the war in one way or another. Or maybe, it was simply two teenagers too shy to tell each other how they felt, finally sharing a tender moment.

“So, are we ready to go?” Katara asked. The two of you sprung apart, blushes on both of your faces as the Water Tribe girl smirked at you. Zuko nodded and you looked away, taking your place at Appa’s reins.

“Ready as I’ll ever be. Yip yip.”

The fight had been a blur to you. You didn’t remember much other than the fact that Zuko had taken a bolt of lightning meant for you. After Zuko had been injured, you and Katara had teamed up to take Azula down. She had challenged you to an Agni Kai after striking Zuko and you had accepted in order to lure her away from his body. To say she had been surprised when you actually fought back with fire was an understatement.

With Katara’s help, you managed to chain her to an old grate before rushing over to aid Zuko. After Katara had done all she could, you helped Zuko into the palace where he had been taken to the infirmary. You hadn’t seen him since.

You had however, met back up with Aang, Sokka, Toph, and Suki. They informed the two of you of what they had done and in turn you had told them about Zuko’s injury. They were all worried about him but after hearing that Katara had healed him, they were slightly relieved.

The next time you saw the prince was on the day of his coronation. Some of the palace guards had come for you, stating that Zuko was requesting your presence. You felt your heart jump into your throat as you nodded, allowing them to lead you through the palace until you came to a pair of gilded doors.

“He’s in there,” one of the guards said. “Would you like us to announce your arrival?”

“No, it’s fine. I can just knock,” you said meekly, causing the guards to smile amusedly. You bowed shortly to them before turning to face the door, gently knocking and waiting for a response.

“Come in!”

The door swung open at your touch and you awkwardly stepped inside, still standing near the doorway as your gaze landed on Zuko.

“Close it,” he said, his voice quiet yet rough. You complied, stepping aside and shutting the door before inching closer. He was shirtless, thick bandages covering his torso. Covering the new scar he had earned because of you. He turned around, his face softening when his eyes met yours.

“Hey,” he said softly, his eyes scanning you for injuries the way he did back when Azula raided the Western Air Temple.

“Hi, how are you?” you squeaked, shuffling awkwardly. You winced at your words, blushing in embarrassment as Zuko’s lips quirked up. He walked over to his bed before picking up the shirt he was going to wear.

“I’m fine. How are you?” he asked, a teasing smile on his lips as he began to put it on. His smile dropped as he moved too harshly, pain shooting through his torso as he struggled to pull the fabric on.

“Spirits! Be careful,” you said, all embarrassment leaving you as you rushed forwards and took the shirt from his hands. “Here, let me.”

You helped him slide one arm in before slipping it over his shoulders and guiding his other arm in as well. You grabbed the belt used to hold it in place before standing in front of him. Your breath caught in your throat as you eyed the bandages, guilt settling in your stomach as you softly placed a hand on his chest. Zuko’s hands automatically went to your waist, pulling you closer to him as he stared at you worriedly.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, still looking at his chest. “This was my fault.”

“Hey,” Zuko replied, one of hands leaving your waist to lift your chin. You shivered softly at the action, your eyes finally meeting his bright gold ones. “It wasn’t your fault. Azula shouldn’t have done it in the first place. She challenged me to an Agni Kai, not you.”

“You should’ve let it hit me,” you said, looking at him sadly. “I can’t imagine what would’ve happened if Katara hadn’t been there. Zuko, you could’ve d-”

Your eyes widened and your words died on your throat when Zuko leant down, softly pressing his lips to yours. The hand that was still on your waist wrapped around you, pulling you closer as Zuko kissed you gently. He began to pull away after a few seconds, noticing your lack of response. Mentally kicking yourself, you began to kiss back, closing your eyes as you wrapped your free arm around his neck to keep him close. Zuko couldn’t help but smile at your response.

“I took that hit because I love you, (Y/N),” Zuko whispered, finally pulling away and leaning his forehead against yours. “I couldn’t let Azula hurt you.”

“Zuko, I-I love you too,” you confessed, your eyes still closed. Suddenly, you pulled away before gently swatting his head. “But that doesn’t make what you did any less stupid.”

“Hey! I saved your life!” he exclaimed, rubbing his head.

“I know,” you said, rolling your eyes before hugging him close once again. “And I love you for it. But never, and I mean never, do that again.”

“No promises,” Zuko replied, guiding your lips to his once more. This kiss was different, full of trust and love and peace.

You pulled away reluctantly, fixing his shirt and looping the belt around him before taking his hand. “Now let’s go. You have a coronation to get to.”

Zuko stopped for a second, pulling you back to him as he looked at you uncertainly. You looked up at him curiously, prompting him to speak.

“Are you-” Zuko stopped abruptly, trying to get his thoughts in order. “Will you stay with me? Here? Even after everyone else leaves?”

You hesitated for a split second, remembering everything that you had suffered at the hands of the Fire Nation. You opened your mouth to reply, looking up to meet Zuko’s gaze. You faltered for a moment, taking in the way he was looking at you. Here in front of you stood the crown prince, the very symbol of the nation that you had spent the majority of your life hating. But he was also just a teen, and he was willing to put in the work to fix the Fire Nation’s past mistakes.

Your heart swelled in your chest as you thought about the golden-eyed boy , and everything he had done to help the Avatar. Because of him, the Fire Nation now had a chance at redemption, and you knew it wouldn’t be easy to undo centuries of imperialism and pain. Especially not when it was so deeply rooted in the nation. And so you answered his question, confident that you were making the right decision.

“Of course I’ll stay, Zuko. And I’ll be here to help you every step of the way.”

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