#trying to remember how to write

[yourburdens]

you know how to love me the best. - mal

it’s  another  act  of  defiance  ,  the  way  he  instantly  moves  to  disagree  with  her  .  his  head  sits  in  her  lap  ,  face  presses  into  her  stomach  and  gets  tickled  by  the  presence  of  thin  ,  peach  colored  body hair  ,  it  makes  his  nose  playfully  scrunch  up  .  you  know  how  to  love  me  the  best  .  it  has  him  adjusting  to  wrap  muscled  arms  around  her  waist  ,  and  squeeze  ,  squeeze  her  close  until  it  can  arch  her  back  .  he  doesn’t  know  how  to  love  her  gently  .  he  doesn’t  know  how  to  meet  soft  skin  with  equally  soft  touches  .  he  doesn’t  know  how  to  kiss  her  without  the  clink  of  metal  against  teeth  or  the  taste  of  blood  flushing  his  mouth  .  his  love  comes  with  the  leveling  of  her  body  ,  with  love  bites  that  break  the  skin  and  with  curses  that  sever  her  soft  moans  in  two  .  

no  ,  he  doesn’t  think  that  he  loves  her  best  ,  not  in  a  way  that  she  deserves  .  he  doesn’t  love  her  with  soft  lips  pressed  to  lips  .  he  snarls  at  the  gloss  that  marks  him  even  when  a  swipe  of  tongue  rewards  him  with  the  flavor  of  his  favorite  fruit  .  he  doesn’t  bend  easily  for  her  ,  doesn’t  submit  in  the  way  that  makes  her  happy  —  in  the  way  he  knows  would  make  her  happy  .  it’s  true  ,  he  loves  her  roughly  ,  knows  he  doesn’t  have  to  hold  back  with  her  ,  but  the  tinge  of  guilt  floods  his  senses  regardless  .  it’s  not  what  she  deserves  ,  it’s  not  flowers  or  tea  dates  ,  but  it  lacks  indifference  .  he  loves  jezebel  with  purpose  ,  with  her  wrapped  up  in  his  claws  without  the  intention  of  letting  her  go  .  his  teeth  dig  into  her  ,  he  leaves  her  marked  ,  he  leaves  her  belonging  to  the  home  in  his  heart  ,  the  place  carved  out  in  her  image  .  

his  palm  lays  flat  upon  the  small  of  her  back  as  he  shifts  his  face  to  look  up  at  her  .  "  i  love  you  selfishly  .  "  like  something  territorial  .  "  you’re  growing  soft  .  you’d  usually  say  i  love  you  like  a  wild  animal  .  "  his  brow  twists  before  he  presses  his  face  back  into  her  stomach  .  "  i’m  not  your  rescue  .  you  didn’t  fucking  save  me  .  i  don’t  love  you  out  of  debt  or  loyalty .  "  he  turns  his  face  to  press  his  cheek  to  her  abdomen  .  "  i  love  you  like  someone  i’d  drag  to  hell  with  me  .  "  maybe  that’s  love  in  its  truest  form  :  mutual  rot  .  vines  that  twist  together  until  their  beginning  and  end  is  untraceable.  he  loves  her  in  the  depths  of  the  mutually  assured  destruction  .  wildly  and  roughly,  but  love  for  them  .  it’s  toxic  to  say  he  loves  her  as  he  shakes  her  from  between  his  teeth  and ,  as  eyes  flutter  closed  in  their  position  ,  he  speaks  as  stubborn  as  his  instinct  to  fight  sleep  . a sigh followed by a shake of his head . he shrugs .  "  i  love  you  ,  jezebel  ,  the  best  .  "  whatever  the  fuck  that  means  ,  he  ponders  .

[bluerosefox]

LOA and Ghost Cultures

Wanna know what.

Another Dead Serious prompt idea spawned.

Damian was League of Assassins raised we all know that so what if he takes ques on how to woo you're potential partner from those teachings.

And we get mainly outsiders POVs and think Damian is trying to kill or threatening one Daniel 'Danny' Fenton after the boy accidentally knocked Damian onto the ground via punch to the face (Danny was stressing hard that day, new school and had just gotten out of a fight with Vlad that night so he was running on little sleep)

Eventually the family (everyone but Bruce) get together to try to get Damian to stop his 'threats' and one of two things can happen.

Either they eventually bring it up to Bruce who at first is worried like the rest of them but then realizes what Damian is actually doing because he has the same experience from Talia's courting.

OR Babs warns them that Damian was spotted entering the Fenton home and seemed geared for a fight, they go running to stop Damian from maybe carrying out his plan, and stumble onto the two making out after a brawl.

[justhereforsomethingnice]

Danny is dead, which manifests as a ghost which falls under the anti ecto acts. Classified the same as insects, less rights then a corpse or a gun. Thing is, he discovered he’s also a meta. Sure, it wasn’t anything grand or amazing or something. His meta power was literally seeing through clouds if he wanted to. Which, is awesome, yay for star gazing and on misty morning drives he’s Jazz’s go to copilot but other then that? Not really much use (he’s not counting the times he was able to spot enemies hiding in cloud coverage or trying to use smoke machines).

However, now as he was visiting metropolis, the GIW had found him. Great? No.

So as Superman (who was told by official government agents that he was a dangerous criminal despite looking like a toddler in his eyes) grabbed him, agents in white creeping up on the sides, he said the first thing coming to mind. “I’m a meta, you can’t do shit to me.”

He snarled it to the GIW of course but now they’re kinda stumped at that reaction and if that would effect the anti ecto laws. Superman just thinks he has a self righteous, stuck up little prick in his hands.

Misunderstandings ensue.

[inkskinned]

i'm still trying to piece together the truth of it. when you left, you said: feel free to spin this narrative however you want. i have no idea if you were being cruel or if you just genuinely don't remember what you've done to me.

it's hard because i'd done so much of the work for you. i had seen the parts that flaked off, the rust underneath. i started separating you into two people - the one i loved, and the one who hurt me. i had this fantasy version of you - my partner - and then i had this stranger, a third person who would show up randomly to shatter me. i am deliriously glad i'm no longer with "the stranger". i miss the gentle (unreal?) "other" you terribly.

at first, i was so strict about my boundaries. i remember telling you to get the fuck out of my house if you were going to talk to me like that. by the end: i would justify your behavior for you, accepting even your mistreatment as "my fault" in the grand scheme. i look back on the person i was before you - smart, independent, confident - and i feel a strange sense of detachment. i don't even recognize me.

even in one of our last conversations, you said: if you want a partner that always talks warmly to you, find someone else. there was a time that a comment like that would have made me leave. and instead, somehow, i just placidly accepted that kind of thing. you were literally telling me that i wasn't allowed to have a reaction to your cruelty - and i just took it, because you'd so fully turned things around on me.

when people are faced with irrationality, a rational brain tries to make sense of it. this is the trap. they're lovely in the morning, gentle and blue-eyed and sweet. like nothing even happened, they breeze around the house and kiss you on the mouth. but at night; who is that? they snap almost randomly; flying into an impotent rage about just-about-anything. it just doesn't make sense. so the problem must be me, and my brain, and how i think.

the traumatized brain just wants peace. so maybe i'm misremembering. maybe you were just having a bad day. maybe it's actually me.

you eventually would fully turn on me and start implying that i am the bad actor in our relationship. that's what happens, right? that's literally in the playbook. you went to therapy for all of a month, told her a half-truth, co-opted therapyspeak. you figured out how to reframe your actions as "seeking peace." any time i stood my ground, i was "gaslighting." when i asked you to be more gentle, you said i was "tone policing." you said, randomly, i had emotionally manipulated you - i still have no idea what that's even specifically referring to. maybe my consistent requests for calmness and empathy?

and while i literally know better, and i'm sitting here, trained by you, thinking: wait, fuck. was i actually the person you made me out to be?

and the thing that scares me is that i literally do not know if you ever actually saw what you were doing to me. when you'd tell me how you remember arguments, you'd always summarize them in a way where you come off as gentle and easy: "i was trying to set an important boundary." what had actually happened was 15 minutes of you shouting at me i know you did something shady, just admit it already. eventually you'd say my reaction to your shouting (when i finally reacted, which usually happened around hour three) was inevitably "disappointing" and "another way i'm silencing your feelings."

how many times did i ask you - beg you - to just take accountability? looking back, i don't think i ever heard you say: you're right. the way i talked to you was wrong of me.

i am trying to tie together the two people into a full version of you in my head. yes, you made my coffee and made me laugh and spent hours on the phone with me. and yes - you would scream at me until i had to run away and hide behind something.

i wish i did have a narrative i could pull out and shape to my whim. i wish i did have some semblance of reality. instead i just stand here, strange and vibrating, wondering: what the fuck just happened?

[ronanlynchusurper]

i don’t think we talk enough about declan being equally as down bad and ‘all or nothing’ with romance as ronan is. like yes ronan said he would start wars and burn cities for adam’s true smile, begged god for adam after he first saw him and fortuitously had all his objects of worship were in one downtown block etc but ronan had known adam atleast 18 months at this stage. whereas declan really risked it all to get tyrian purple overnight for a first date gift after ONE conversation…the man was discussing their marriage as a ‘when’ not an ‘if’ before we even saw them kiss like what’s his excuse lmaoo

[clickety-clacker]

Been seeing so many cool Clickies on my dashboard since getting into GGG, I just had to take the time to draw a few of them- plus, it was a bit of a challenge to try new styles. A lot of these guys were also super influential to how I draw and even think about Click Clack on my own time, so you should definitely check them out! Names below the cut cus it got long heehoo

Top left: @malartsorte

Top middle (holding papers): @scribblelimbo

Top right: @wishgraanted

Leftmost middle: @beastwhimsy

Middle (peace sign!): @sootnuki

Rightmost middle: @molabuddy

Bottom left: @pespillo

Bottom middle: @artuurle

Bottom right: @modmad

I know I said it already, but all of yall are super cool and I had a lot of fun challenging myself to make this! Keep on being awesome 👍

[hyacinthsdiamonds]

I'm sorry but the irony of Nico calling Max unprofessional is sending me so bad like sir there's an entire garage full of people, who were literally in the trenches trying to survive the Brocedes fallout while just doing their jobs, who might have a few things to say about your (& Lewis') level of professionalism at that time 😭✋️

[lightnersdream-archive]

i've been thinking about exactly why people portraying one of the other crew members successfully killing Jimmy as a "for what you did to Anya" kind of thing rubs me the wrong way a bit and it's because like..... this is just another form of taking agency away from Anya, in a way. it's kind of framing her as some meek, shivery woman-thing who's entirely at the mercy of the men around her, either to hurt her or save her.

(i understand these are mostly for wish fulfillment on the audience's behalf because everyone would like to see Jimmy pay for his crimes. whether or not this is the intention of the person writing it isn't really relevant, characterization happens with or without intent. i feel like it misses the point by portraying it as an 'ideal ending'.)

because... Anya is a capable person. she takes things into her own hands when she can. it was partially(?) her idea to get into the cargo,

(before he interrupts her.. remember when she interrupted Curly in the dead pixel segment?)

it was her idea to get the code scanner from the cockpit,

it was her idea to get the medication from behind the foam.

(the chance to do these things herself is not given to her.)

she'd been keeping Curly alive for months in a critical state somehow, her psych evaluations at the start are only so useless because Jimmy refuses to take it/her seriously and Curly is obviously biased when he puts it into his own hands. he's known him a long time, like he said. "I'll just put good for that one."

there's not a lot of material to work with because of how the game is framed, but it's there. we are working with two very biased perspectives and neither one lends Anya what she deserves

there's significant changes in how she speaks post- and pre- crash, and depending on who she happens to be talking to. i recommend re-reading her dialogue, because the difference is drastic

she acts the way she does around Jimmy because he has tangibly done horrible things to her, is actively hostile, and physically could not escape him by any means. she can't take away Curly's agency herself, in my eyes. you have to remember that Especially in the post-crash segments of the game, it's entirely from Jimmy's POV, and he obviously does not (and has never) thought very highly of her or treated her with a shred of respect

i've seen a general idea that she can't bear to hurt other people for any reason, but that doesn't really track to me. this is the real point of the post by the way

it seems based on the parts where she says she struggles to give Curly medication. "It just hurts him so much, I can't stand the noise." "It makes me nauseous."

it's not really the same thing as, say, hurting someone in self defense

this sounds like she did want the gun itself. this never felt worded like someone who would refuse to, at very least, threaten Jimmy with a gun, with violence. if she had been given the agency to make that decision on her own. she wasn't though

she still tries to reclaim some of it even as she's denied it

by the end she's still trying to keep that gun out of his hands

i think some people overly soften her, for similar reasons the game itself is trying to comment on. she's not a tender victim who couldn't cause pain to another out of the softness of her soul, she's a person who's had every last bit of agency ripped from her repeatedly until she couldn't take it anymore. that's the point. that's why framing her that way, "needing" someone to save her, is odd to me

she didn't need Curly to save her, she needed him to take responsibility

she didn't want to escalate things, but she's not an idiot. self defense was absolutely on her mind

but who knows im just saying shit *smiles serenely*

[frm9pm]

Sometimes I remember they lived through the 90’s which also means boybands

[cozylittleartblog]

doodle of a dress i wore in a dream .....

[kettlefire]

A Panic in Time (DP x DC)

This is all thanks to the awesome @tkiesai for basically being the foundation of this idea! This is probably going to be long, and probably won't delve that deep into my ideas about this idea. Largely so it's not insanely long. But here I go!

°•°•°•°

Bruce's head felt like it had been shoved through a straw and spit out on the other side. The throbbing was annoying, but it wasn't anything the man couldn't handle.

His mind was muddled, memories of what happened prior to him awaking was blurry and unsure. Bruce knew it wasn't something good.

He vaguely remembered a league meeting, a threat, something looming. It wasn't world ending, or at least that's what Bruce remembered. It should have been something they could handle.

But now, here was Bruce. Waking up in the grass of some random park. He was dressed in casual attire, something he'd wear in public as Bruce. Although last he remembered he was in the Batsuit.

The sun felt too bright in the sky. The sound of families filled the air and children's laughter. No one seemed to blink twice at Bruce as he pulled himself together.

It took a moment to steel himself, to gain composer again. It took a few sweet lines, and a charming smile for a nice mother to slide him a few painkillers. The lies rolling off his tongue like second nature.

To his luck there was a newspaper at the top of the trashcan. He was in some town called Amity Park, and the year... the year was the problem.

It was 1996. Whatever had happened had sent Bruce back in time. There was a few suspects Bruce can think were the cause of this. But something in his gut kept drawing his train of thought to the Flash.

It seemed like each time the League had any time related problems, Barry was in the center of it. Which also leaves Bruce with the question if he was the only one sent back in time.

God, he could only imagine the nightmare if the others were sent back in time. Yes, they can be professional. They understand the risk of changing things in the past.

But Bruce also understands that his team can be less than... intelligent at times.

Despite that, Bruce needed to find a way to get back to Gotham. He might not know for sure where everyone was right now, but he knew Alfred was the safest bet.

A plan laid out in Bruce's mind, a list of people he knew wouldn't be a risk to approach. He just needed to find a way to get to them. He had barely made it to the gates of the park before a shrill cry pierced the air.

There was just one loud outcry, before it quieted down. Bruce glance around the space, spotting a young boy curled on the ground. Tears streamed down the boy's chubby cheeks.

And no one even moved to the boy's aid. Not a single mother spared more than one glance in the kid's directions. No parents came rushing over to the boy's side.

Bruce almost walked away, he really did. This wasn't his time, anything he does can cause immense damage to the timeline. But when Bruce caught sight of blood bubbling from a scrape on the boy's knee, Bruce couldn't ignore him.

Maybe it's just the father in him, but Bruce barely even notices when he's crossing the small distance. His mind zeroing in on a hurt child that needed help. Kneeling before the small boy with a gentle smile, and pulling his handkerchief free from his pocket.

"You're alright there, buddy. It looks like you took a bit of a tumble there." Bruce slipped into the same tone he used to use when his kids were young. Gentle and understanding, as he pressed the handkerchief to the small scrape.

The boy sniffled, tears slipping from his eyes. Bruce was more focused on the way the kid was looking at him. Like he couldn't fathom someone coming to his aid.

That look had Bruce's heart breaking slightly. He's seen a similar look before. The few times he's come to the aid of a hurt child that wasn't used to getting help.

Something no child should ever feel or experience.

"Where's your parents, kiddo?" Bruce asked after a moment of silence from the boy. He had waited until the kid's breathing settled down when the boy's chest stopped pumping so quickly.

Except his question only seemed to bring a new wave of tears to the boy's eyes. The small child just seemed to curl into himself further, ducking his gaze away from Bruce.

And as much as Bruce didn't want it to be true, it was clear the kid didn't have the support he needed. It might not as be as far as some of Bruce's kids have had in the past.

But it was clearly not good.

"That's okay, it's alright. What's your name?" Bruce tried again. The boy's silence was leaving an uncomfortable pit in Bruce's stomach.

"D-Danny..." The boy spoke out his name between sniffles, and Bruce felt a wave of relief hearing the boy speak.

In hindsight, Bruce can see how strange the scene might look. A slightly disheveled man comforting a lone young boy in a park. It wasn't exactly perfect.

But with the lack of reactions from the parents around, Bruce had a feeling the town had an idea who this boy was. The whole situation just didn't feel that right for him.

It took a few more comments before Bruce managed to get the boy to crack a smile. A laugh had felt like breaking a massive wall.

Before long, Bruce had Danny actually like any other boy he's known. Carefree and happy, just like a child should be.

"You didn't tell me your name, mister." Danny had suddenly cut down the relaxed moment they were in. A pout laced the boy's lips as he looked up at Bruce, almost accusatory.

"I'm Bruce. Bruce Wayne." Bruce responded without missing a beat. He knew this might cause problems in the future. He wasn't supposed to be here.

But when his gut is telling him something, he can't just ignore it. He checked his pockets, finding no business cards anywhere. So, Bruce fell back in plan B.

"No matter how long it's been from now, you can come to me for help. Just look for Bruce Wayne in Gotham City, and when you find me... just say Fairbanks sent you."

Bruce wasn't sure if he'll ever see Danny again when he goes back to his own time. Wasn't even sure if this was the same universe as his own. But he couldn't walk away without at least offering the boy help in some way.

When Danny's eyes filled up with tears again, Bruce thought he said something wrong at first. That was until the boy was suddenly clinging to his shoulders in a tight embrace, muttering 'thank you' over and over again.

Bruce felt himself almost close to tears just from that alone. His heart was aching for the small boy. Even if Bruce couldn't help Danny anymore than this, he was hoping the boy would have a better life.

One where he wasn't clinging to a stranger for comfort that family should be providing him.

THWAMP

It didn't hurt, but it did cut their hug short as Bruce suddenly pulled away. Turning his head to see a young girl wielding a wiffle bat, and another young boy standing behind her.

Her purple eyes glared at Bruce like he had done the worst thing in the world. Her grip on the bat was threatening and ready to swing again. Her knuckles white from the tight grip alone.

Maybe leaving this time era might not be as easy as Bruce thought as the young girl probbed him with angry and scolding questions. Not that Bruce could blame her.

He just hoped this hiccup didn't get back to the league. They'd have a field day hearing about how Batman got scolded by a child with a wiffle bat.

°•°•°•°•°•°

Danny wasn't sure if this was the best idea. It's been years since he met Bruce Wayne. So many years. Danny had just been a kid, not even ten, when Bruce had introduced himself.

When he had an adult, actually check in on him. Yet, it was a memory Danny couldn't forget. Maybe it was just the kindness that Bruce radiated.

Or maybe it was when Sam came to his "rescue" near the end. Regardless, it was cemented in his mind. A core memory that Danny cared with him through the years.

Now, here he was, roughly seven years later. Standing in front of a manor that put even Sam's place to shame.

It took a lot of courage for Danny to knock. Barely a second later, an old man answered the door, an accent Danny was certain Bruce hadn't had.

A stuttered explaination of being here to see Bruce Wayne, that the man knew him, barely left Danny's mouth before the old man ushered him inside.

The man, Alfred, told Danny to wait by the door before vanishing further into the manor. It took a lot for Danny to not just vanish.

Being half ghost nowadays had its quirks, Danny could just vanish, and no one but Alfred would know. But he couldn't.

It had taken a lot for Danny to make the journey to Gotham City. He hadn't even thought to look up a current picture of Bruce either. Which was probably a big mistake on his end.

Danny didn't even know if Bruce was offering this kind of help. But Danny didn't have many allies to turn to. He needed help.

Not just for himself but for his family. For Amity Park. He couldn't be afforded the ability to run away. Not now.

Danny felt all the air leave his lungs when Bruce entered the area. The man didn't look a day older than what Danny remembered. Bruce looked a bit more put together, not like he had just jumped out of a moving car, but it was Bruce.

"Uhm... I don't know if you remember me. But my name's Danny... we met when I was a kid." Danny started trying to explain himself before Bruce could speak. He recognized that confused look anywhere, and Danny didn't have the guts to go through with this if Bruce asked any questions.

"You told me if I ever needed help, to come find you. Bruce Wayne in Gotham City... you, uh, told me to tell you Fairbanks sent me?"

That came out more like a question than Danny would have liked. But it did ease his nerves a bit as he watched Bruce's slightly confused expression turn to alarm and surprise.

Danny wasn't sure what this would do. If Bruce could truly help him. But he was out of options. Just seeing Bruce recognize something he said was enough to calm the teen's anxiety slightly.

"I'm sorry, Danny... I don't remember you. But I believe you and I want to help you. Come inside, have a seat, and tell me what's going on."

That response was enough to have Danny's eyes fill with tears. His chest filling with a sense of hope he hadn't felt in weeks now.

Maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay.

[rasoyas]

exploring the secret lab, 6/6 🧪

[thegnomelord]

Ya'll wanna know my kink? Of course you do :D I blame @rodolfoparras for getting me into this brainrot. MDNI

I love to see a man's pretty little hole gape.

Not to the point of total ruin or prolapsing, but so it's loose enough for you to just sliiide right in without a snag until you're balls deep and he swears he can feel it in his throat; loose enough for you to fuck into him in long smooth strokes that has him shaking and whimpering into the sheets; so loose yet it still tries to suck you in deeper, uselessly trying to clench to keep you inside every time you pull back to thrust into him again.

I like the type of gape that his hole stays open when you pull out, the type of gape that no matter how much the poor man whines and tries to clench he can't keep your cum from slowly trickling out down his taint and balls. But the silly thing doesn't need to worry his pretty little head, it's not his fault his hole is so sloppy and loose. You're there to trail your fingers along the small rivulet of cum, gathering it on the pads of your fingers so you can stuff it back into his hole. And he's so content now that he's not empty, his puffy rim fluttering around your knuckles as you spread his already stretched hole with your fingers until you can see your cum pooled in his soft body.

I also love getting to that point.

I'd love to lay him down on the bed and oil him up, make sure he's so relaxed and pliant he's almost asleep by the time you even near his intimate parts. All he could do is turn his head to catch your gaze, skin flushing with goosebumps as you fondle and massage his ass, your thumbs circling his virgin tight hole before going down, caressing his balls and lazily stroking his cock just as it's starting to twitch with interest. And I'd keep my hands moving slowly, up and down, up and down, until he's sighing and panting against the pillow, thighs trembling with how he tries to keep them open for you, cock hard and his rim twitching whenever you press your thumb against it without trying to penetrate.

Only then would I lean in to lick around his hole, your teeth gently nibbling and sucking on his rim. A full body shiver trails up his spine and the prettiest sounds leave his breathless lips when you breach him with your tongue. And he's so tight it takes you ages of slowly eating him out to stretch him out enough for him to be able to take one of your fingers. It's heaven for you but hell for him, the movement of your tongue against his fluttering slow and lazy sensation keeping him teetering on the edge of that pleasure without it being enough.

And stretching him open slowly is the fun part, taking all the time in the world to get him used to the sensation of your finger wiggling inside him, stretching him open bit by bit so your tongue can lap at his sensitive walls as he moans and groans into the pillow, desperately trying to rut his ass into your face and his cock into the sheets. But he can cum as much as he wants, doesn't mean I'll stop until I can fit three fingers inside and his hole is begging for a fourth.

And damn the sight of his hole when you finally pull your fingers out is priceless; the small gape of his hole, the way his puffy rim continues to flutter and try to clench around nothing is as adorable as the small wiggle of his hips that he does and the soft spoken pleas to just "put it in" that has you finally giving him some relief.

And I don't know what I love more, watching inch after inch of your hard cock disappear into him until your pelvis is flush with his ass, or the long and drawn out moan that leaves his lips when you drape your body over his, catching his lips in a lazy kiss as you set a loving pace that leaves him breathless.

[visceravalentines]

drowning is only as hard as you make it

bo sinclair x gn!reader

2k words. weird melancholy freak behavior. author's thinly disguised smoking fetish. established relationship (lol). Ambrose is lonely. that's it that's the fic.

He always manages to find you.  Every time.  It’s not a game anymore, not really; there’s no use keeping score when only one side is allowed to earn points.  There are no rules, no satisfaction in the victory.  You’d make your way back to the house even if he never showed up.  Today you’re not even hiding.

The row of vacant windows across the street catches the last lazy rays of sunlight.  A few eager fireflies pantomime shooting stars just above the freshly cut grass.  He mows the lawns regularly, every last one of them, dripping sweat in the sticky air.  You think it’s nonsensical.  He doesn’t care what you think.  At least it smells nice.  Nostalgic.  Painful.  

On an evening like this, there should be kids out.  Riding bikes, running through the neighbor’s yard.  Parents watching from their porches.  People chatting, relaxing.  Hell, maybe a dog or two.  But there is only you, and the fireflies.  

The heat of your cigarette creeps dangerously close to your fingers but you wring one last pull off the thing before you crush it against the step.  Scorch marks dot the woodgrain like initials carved in a tree, only better, because they’re anonymous.  Could've been left by anyone sitting sulking on these stairs and pondering ways to disappear.  Plausible deniability.  

Too bad you're the only one here.

You set your hand on the pack beside you, work another one out with your fingers without looking.  It’s all reflex.  It’s all muscle memory.  That’s all you are anymore, something that survives without thinking about it.  

In that shadowy place called Before, you only ever smoked on rare occasions. At parties or bars, always with friends, always a little drunk. You'd never admit it aloud but a part of you used to pride yourself on your restraint–you could stretch a single pack out over a month or more, until the tobacco had gone stale and the cigarettes tasted like dusty paper. Until it was less of a treat and more like a chore to get through the last few.  

Now you drop butts through the grate of your days like maybe you can fill up the emptiness with smoke.  

You sigh and light up, take a drag and let it sweep you up above the gutters.  You imagine the town might almost be pretty from up high.  Hard to tell from here.  

“Didn’t know this house had a chimney.”  

Some part of you remembers what it felt like to flinch when he got this close.  Another part remembers the way you buried your face in his back before he got up this morning.  You exhale nice and slow.  “Thought you knew everything.”  

“Now, we’ve talked about this.”  He leans against the rickety railing, white paint flaking off at the slightest disturbance.  “You know nothin’ good comes from thinkin’.”  

As a matter of fact, you’ve talked about everything already, but that’s never stopped him before.  You’ve heard all the stories sixteen times, could recount his childhood from memory one miserable year after another.  You know where he got that scar.  He knows all about your first kiss.  Eighth grade was hard for both of you for vastly different reasons.  He’s never been to your hometown but he could probably find your old house.  You’ve never met his mother, but you hate her just the same.  Favorite movie, worst fear, where were you on 9/11?  In a zombie apocalypse, he’d choose an ax.  You’d take the shotgun with exactly two shells.  It’s almost romantic, except, well.  

“Hey.”  He slams the heel of his hand against the railing and somewhere along the line, the wood splits with a crack.  “What’d I just say?”  

You look up, jarred loose from your spiral, and he’s shaking his head.  

“Damn fool.  Gimme those back.”  

He reaches out a hand and you slip one last smoke from the pack before you give it to him.  

“Lighter too, baby, c’mon.”  

You hesitate for a second, long enough he has to flex his fingers to make the point.  You hand him the lighter, keep the spare cigarette, tuck it behind your ear.

He peeks into the pack and his lip twitches. “Fuckin’ glutton.  This was full this mornin’.”  

“Sorry,” you deadpan.  

“Sure y’are.”  

You’ve had this conversation too, in just about every house on the street.  You wonder if he ever feels crazy, playing it all out over and over again.  Probably not. He's composed of repetition, a record that skips in the same place every time it's played. You feel crazy, fucking listening to it.  

You watch him work a cigarette loose, watch him hold it in his lips, watch the tendons flex across his knuckles as he lights up. For all the fucking smoke he blows, you still think he looks damn good as he exhales up towards the fading sun. One of life's little cruelties. 

“Y’know, supper ain't gonna make itself,” he says casually. Like he’s trying to piss you off.  He probably is.  

“You sure?” you shoot back, like you’re trying to piss him off.  You definitely are.  

He chuckles, unbothered. “I dunno, baby. Been wrong before.”

“Yeah?  Tell me more.” You're bold these days. Stupid. Dangerous, and not in the same way as the surgeon general's fine print. Dangerous in the present moment. Shaving seconds off your life like taking a pocketknife to a good chunk of wood. But games are more fun with two players. 

He doesn’t want to play, though.  Probably worn out from mowing all those fucking lawns.  He shrugs.  “Nothin’ more to tell.”  

“Pantry’s empty anyway,” you mutter.  The grocery list on the fridge has wrapped back on itself twice over.  He’s been cagey lately, reluctant to venture into town.  You’re down to canned goods old enough to read chapter books.  

“Guess we’ll starve.”  

“Guess so.”  You flick your rapidly shrinking cigarette and watch the ash fizzle frantically down and disappear. The chorus of crickets crescendoes to a dull roar in the silence.  

“You like these, huh?”

You're not sure what he means for a second before you realize he's talking about the cigarettes. You take another drag like you have to mull the taste over, really consider the question. He’s not a patient man, but he waits for your answer.

“Yeah,” you say finally on the tail of your exhale. “Best ones in a while.”

It’s the truth.  He's got his own brand and you like it too, but he's a fucking skinflint, and he only buys himself a pack when he's really hard up. Most of the time he scavenges off corpses and out of glove boxes. And you live off his scraps, so. 

Regretfully, you stub yours out as the flame hits the filter. Your throat is raw, tongue wrapped in the taste of tobacco. Everything in this town is racing to kill you and you wish something would win already. You can feel him watching you, now and always. 

“Somethin’ you need, sugar?”

“No.”

“Hmm.”  

He exhales with relish.  You think about the taste of smoke on his tongue and tobacco on his fingers and you grit your teeth.  He’s a vice in every sense.  

“You pissed at me?”  

What kind of question is that?  You peel a chunk of paint off the stair near your shoe.  “I’m always pissed at you.”  You mean it and you don’t and you’re braced for retribution either way, but none comes.  

“Fair enough.”  

You steal a wary glance in his direction.  He’s covered in flecks of grass.  He shed his overshirt in the heat of the day but it’s back on now, unbuttoned, the tee underneath smudged with green.  He lifts his hat, rubs his brow with the heel of his hand, tugs it back into place.  His face is a little sunburnt in spite of the thing.  

“You wanna fight?”  

You stop breathing for a second, sit very still.  He looks down at you, cocks an eyebrow.  He’s really asking.  

You think about it, really think about it.  Broken skin, broken glass.  No neighbors to scandalize.  You shake your head.  “No.”  

He shrugs, goes back to staring holes in the house across the street.  You almost want him to be disappointed, but his face is placid, expression impassive.  “Alright then.  ‘Nother time.”  

You furrow your brow, look at your shoes.  You pick at the paint, feel it slip beneath your nail like a splinter.  You’d bet five bucks you don’t have that he’ll be back to repaint these steps within the week.  It makes you want to rip them apart so he’d have more to do.  You’re not sure if he’d take that as a gift or as sabotage.  You’re not sure how you’d mean it.  

“How ‘bout we head inside, feel each other up?  See what happens?”  You look at him sharply.  He’s really asking.  “We can do it how you like it.”  

How you like it.  How do you like it?  Does he know?  Do you?

Your expression must be a funny one because he grins.  “What?  You a prude all the sudden?”  

No.  No, but.

You find the words wedged behind your teeth.  “You a gentleman all the sudden?”  

He snorts.  “C’mon now.”  He gives the railing one last yank, almost pulls it loose.  As he rounds the steps he drops his spent cigarette and crushes it underfoot.  “Scoot.”  

You make room on the stair and he sits down heavy beside you, takes up more than his fair share of space, same as always.  He smells like sun and sweat and grass and smoke.  His sleeve rides up and exposes the pink of his wrist.  He pulls it down without thinking about it.  You almost–almost–pull it back up.  

“I’m just tryin’ to figure you out.  Don’t know what the fuck you want.”  

Now that's a dumb fucking thing to say. You want a thousand things.  A meal.  A clock that works.  Cable TV.  An article of clothing that doesn't reek of mothballs and someone else's fear. A normal conversation with a normal human being. Half a goddamn hour to yourself without the urge to lock the doors and set the house on fire. 

Anything.  Anything.  

“A light,” you say bitterly. 

To your surprise, he digs the lighter out of his pocket.  Holds it up to show you, like a peace offering.  He moves his boots down a step, pats his thigh.  “C’mere.” 

You straddle his lap and it’s like you’re walking in and out of a room at the same time.  Your hands find their place on either side of his chest and he’s warm to the touch like a dog lying in the sun.  His fingers play at the small of your back.  You can escape into the maze of abandoned homes or the pattern on the ceiling but you can’t slip away from those eyes at this distance.  They catch you like barbs on wire, as distant and cold as the sky.  

This is how you like it.  His head tipped back, looking up at you.  You run your thumb along the edge of his jaw and he almost–almost–smiles.  

He plucks the cigarette from behind your ear, flips it in his fingers.  You open your mouth.  He sets it on your tongue.  He flicks the lighter, brings it close, and when you breathe in you feel it–the poison of this place, yellow-green, permeating your lungs and all the rest of you.  No use in pretending.  No use fighting the current.  Drowning is only as hard as you make it.  

You wonder if he knows you’d come home even if he never came to find you.  Maybe that’s why he comes anyway.  Maybe that’s why you keep hiding.  So you both have something to look forward to.  Games are more fun with two players.  

It’s not worth thinking about.  Nothing good comes from thinking.  

You start to exhale and he tugs you close, sucking the smoke from your mouth, because he never can let you keep anything to yourself.  Maybe you don’t even want to. 

Your lips touch.  Tangerine thrums behind your eyes.  You’ll go to bed hungry tonight and so will he.  One shotgun, two shells.

“Don’t say I never gave you anything,” he murmurs.  

You’re already working his shirt off his shoulders one-handed.  “Nothing I want.”  

He laughs once, almost breathless, leans back on the stairs so you have to lean with him.  “C’mon now.”  

You toss the cigarette into the dirt to free up both hands.

[orengejoshi]

Hell yeah dude congrats on the mini human!!! If you’re craving chocolate chip cookies, brownies etc but don’t want to worry about a messy kitchen after, there’s a few ways to make single servings in a mug in the microwave and a few of them don’t use egg if you’re worried about things like salmonella and any other health concerns that come with not using a conventional oven. Also, if you REALLY want another layer of protection, heat treating flour can kill a lot of harmful stuff as well for extra peace of mind. Either spread a thin layer on a cooking sheet and bake at ≈150°C (converted from freedom units lol) for 10 minutes, or you can nuke a bowl of it in the microwave for 30 second intervals, stirring occasionally.

I know when my mom was having my sister years ago, she had to be careful about things that were normally okay before and my dad would take a couple extra precautions when cooking for us.

I’ve also seen packets of Betty Crocker mix in stores marketed as “(X) in a mug” (the blueberry muffins are my favorite personally)

They’re marketed as just “Mug Treats” and so far I’ve seen one with Hot Fudge Brownie, one with Soft Chocolate Chip Cookie, and another with Funfetti.

Whew, sorry for the yapping 😅 I just remembered you mentioned craving chocolate and sweets so I thought I’d share with the class in case you wanted baked goods quickly and without all the mess afterwards.

Congrats again on the pregnancy, and don’t let the bastards get you down👏 you’re doing awesome

THANK YOU this is godsent, omg🙏🏻😭💗

I'll share it for everyone who's also pregnant or just hungry for no reason🫡 this is amazing and easy (and I'm a great cook and baker! I love being in the kitchen) I made one a week ago and then I made 5 more (aka my own mom made them with/for me) and I said it was literally the best thing my taste buds have ever witnessed in that moment. it really hit the spot. we also threw some cherries from a jar in that bih and it's🤌🏻 chef kiss

I should have put some empty mugs around him but this still conveys an accurate picture of what my past few weeks looked like

[bunnyreaper]

Can we get Johnny being misogynistic and mean🙏🏻🙏🏻

okay anon coming in HOT lmao <3

tw misogyny, noncon/dubcon, mentions of anal, coercion, freeuse, degradation. nasty!

after about an hour of begging and pleading, you finally give in to johnny's whining--it'd almost be cute if not for the hidden meaning laced in every word.

he's already used you numerous times throughout the day, part of the freeuse agreement he'd persuaded you to partake in, so now you were sore--used and sticky too. johnny had let you wipe away his cum from your dribbling hole, but he'd refused to let you shower just yet. after all, he'd said he wasn't done with you yet.

here he was proving himself right, your shorts and panties pulled down to your knees as he bends you over the couch. your face smushes into the pillows as he lifts your arse high and ignores your pleas for mercy.

"shhh, none of that now. gotta do your job fer me, doll, what else do I keep ye around for?" he coos, but there's that ever present bite to it.

you know johnny loves you, you also know that what you offer him is a big part of that.

he smacks each arsecheek twice in quick succession, his hand bruising with its level of brutality. the pain sears, the bruises left behind from his constant needy gropes smarting with each hit. you cry out and kick your legs, hoping for an escape that won't come.

johnny's hands start to explore, fingernails scraping across the plush of your behind as they trail to your cunt. his hands are rough as they part your cheeks, leaving nothing unexposed--every inch of johnny's property fully on display for his greedy eyes.

his long fingers poke into your swollen folds, ignoring your clit and spearing straight into your tight, unprepared cunt. "y'know, if yet me use yer arse, maybe your little kitty wouldnae be so sore." before you can further protest he's fucking you hard with his fingers, forcing any wetness out. the natural wetness of your walls only encourages him, convinces him you're just always wet for him.

he lines up the head of his thick cock, notching it in your entrance before he starts to use the force of his body weight. your hole fights him, resisting the intrusion and yet powerless to stop it. johnny only chuckles as he dick has to fight its way inside. "hear tha'? i hear her, she's begging for mercy... but since this is all ye give me."

"johnny!" your stomach twists as your cunt burns, forced into accepting the intrusion. if this is what it's like when johnny uses your hole meant for sex, what will it be like when he takes the one that isn't. guilt floods your brains, but you have to be honest. "i'm just-- not ready."

"yer lucky i'm being patient for now." he growls as his cock finally pushes all the way in, seating itself inside your aching walls. "willnae be able to hold out much longer. you want to keep yer man happy, aye?"

"i do." you choke back a sob, tears pricking at your eyes from the thought of losing johnny for not doing what you're supposed to.

"thought so."

behind you, as johnny starts to build a rhythm, you hear him tapping away on his phone. after a few moments he's draping himself over your body. his weight presses down on you as his hips move punishingly. one hand grips your chin, forcing you to look at the phone johnny holds before you.

porn. johnny's forcing you to watch porn of some little e-slut getting her arsehole wrecked. the sound is on full, her pleased moans drowning out johnny's gasps, but not his words.

"look a' her, look how she takes it." he hammers you, imitates the man on the screen who is showing no mercy to the doll beneath him. you can't stop staring, watching her arsehole stretch around the thick cock and knowing it's the one thing johnny wants most. "y'know that's what yer made for hen, for a big man like me to use all yer little girl holes."

the camera angle changes, now a pov from the man's perspective. johnny releases a feral groan before he snatches the phone from before your face. he sets the screen on the top of your arse as he continues to plow, pretending he's finally getting what he wants.

you don't need to turn around to know his eyes are fixed on the screen and not you. but you want to, you want to try and steal johnny's gaze back to your own. the hand holding your head down returns before you can even try.

"god bonnie. she's a much better whore aye, she lets her man take what's his like a good girl. but i'll wait, i know you'll let me in, know you'll beg me for it."

your insides chafe under johnny's assault, and you start to dream of the relief you might feel should he have another hole in his rotation.

johnny's thrusts stutter, but you know after the first 3 rounds it's not his orgasm, and you're still going to be here a while. the video changes, you hear a different woman, now screaming, begging for the man in the video not to fuck her back door.

"but if ye dinnae beg, i guess i have other plans."

her shouts escalate, and your body betrays you, trembling and gushing as her screams grow stronger and johnny's threat is made perfectly clear.