#tw: 9/11/01

[historicity-was-already-taken]

Can’t sleep, and, as is my wont, I fell down a horrifying internet rabbit hole,* this time about September 11, 2001.

I was in seventh grade French class, in the Hudson Valley region of New York, when I got a call from the front office that my mom was there to pick me up. Steven B. commented: “a lot of people are getting picked up this morning!”

My mom was crying, she tried to explain what had happened, but I think my brain kind of rejected what she was saying. I didn’t really get it/appreciate what happened until I was 19 or 20, when I was a collections management intern at the 9/11 Memorial Museum before it opened to the public.

That’s when I finally Got It and everything I’d been repressing. Every year after that I would watch the live news footage from that day on YouTube.

It haunts me, not just because of what happened, but because of what it led to. How much pain, how much grief, how much suffering and war and genocide could have been averted if the FBI and the CIA hadn’t been locked in a power struggle? Where would/could the country be politically if the two orgs had compared intelligence and intervened?

As a historian, I think it’s important avoid binary thinking like “oh a, b, and c happened and that’s why Elon Musk is staging a coup.” It’s obviously much more complex than that. What’s occurring in the USA Federal government is the result of decades of careful GOP planning and strategizing and if we can isolate a cultural moment that “led” to it, it would be the election of Ronald Reagan, and even that is far too simplistic.

Idk, I’m rambling. I don’t consider myself to be old, but it’s almost like I refused to grasp what had happened that day in 2001 because I was cognizant of the fact that something massive, something of global historic import, had just gone down, and my 12 yo brain couldn’t deal with it.

But now I’m 35 and I saw history. And that was the end, I think of the world the Baby Boom generation raised their millennial kids to thrive in.

At some point I binge watched Fringe, and that shot where it’s revealed that Leonard Nimoy is in the parallel universe because the camera pans out and it’s revealed that his office is in one of the WTC towers? I couldn’t breathe for a minute.

*once in grad school the rabbit hole was the genocide in the Balkans in the 90s and everything I read that night is seared into my brain.

ETA: I’m intentionally not discussing that things I saw and learned working for the museum, and my feelings about the deaths which occurred that day. It feels almost…unholy to talk about that stuff online. I don’t believe in god or a higher power, but “holy” is the only word that makes sense there.

[liceadam]

7/11, never forget 🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡

[amothersmagik]

I was just over a month away from turning 9. 3rd grade. We were just starting circle time.

My teacher was mid sentence when the classroom phone rang. She put [names changed slightly for privacy] Joe and Caryn in charge of the classroom in a rushed breath as she ran from the room - the fastest I had ever seen her move since a kid got knocked out on the playground by a Dodgeball game gone wrong.

We were told to sit quietly and wait.

We were kids, so of course we immediately started talking. But we all knew. We all knew something was wrong. Mrs T and Mrs W were tough as nails and strict but fun. They didn't rush out without clear directions. They didn't RUSH. Period.

They certainly didn't just leave 50 kids under the age of 10 [two classes that shared teachers and a split set of rooms] unattended!

So we talked. But we were whispering. And no one got up. We looked at each other with childish grins but eyes full of confusion and nerves. First we made jokes and talked to our friends. But when 5mins passed and the teachers hadn't returned, the theories and rumors and gossip started. A student from another room poked their head in. Looking for our teacher to ask to go to the bathroom, since his had also left the room.

Wait - ALL the teachers had run out of their rooms? It was a small, locked-down catholic school with barely 400 kids (or less) on the premises.... but still.....

Just was we began to contemplate this new info, the teachers all came back. With tears and pale faces and fear and grief and so many emotions on their faces; only a few of these emotions were ones kids like us could identify, much less sympathize/empathize with.

But we would. Very soon, we would.

She sat at her desk. With her hands over her mouth for a moment. She consulted with Ms W next door briefly once more. She rubbed a hand over her suddenly very tired, extra pale, and suddenly intensely aged face. She turned back to us all (now once more silent and in our seats; the kid from the other class having scurried back to his room the moment the teachers began reappearing) and slowly walked over and sat down. She took a deep breath.

And she began teaching again.

Eventually, someone got wind of an overheard (read:eavesdropped) piece of the adults' connversations. Thus, the whispers started anew (during recess, where we could hide what we knew from the teachers).

Someone died. Oh, lots of people. A plane crashed. On purpose. No, it was an explosion! No, someone shot someone. No! Billy said for SURE that someone drove into the capital!

That one stopped us for a moment. A split second of pure silence on the playground. Of an elementary school.

The teachers looked up. We all quickly made connversation about polly pockets, pokemon, and whatever it was the boys were talking about.

Then the whispers started again. The teachers too weary and scared to stop the rumor mill. A plane crashed into an important building and lots of people died.

By the time I got picked up, that was the "rumor" that had stuck with me. We would all regret our gossip and feel guilty, shamefaced, over how we reacted and how on-the-nail we were the next day.

At home, the adults were sad. Angry. Scared. Outraged. Appalled. Scared. Disbelieving. Confused. Scared. Skeptical. Nervous. Scared.

I couldn't identify then, what it was I was seeing on my families' faces. I can now, in retrospect. I am probably remembering some of it perfectly, and some may just be retrospecrive extrapolation from an adults view of knowing exactly how that day would affect the next decade or two.

That night, the news was on everywhere. Radio, TV, my dad even grabbed a new newspaper in the evening from the gas station. Voices and pictures. Live updates and re-casts. A cacophony of mournful sounds and feelings.

Grief. Outrage. Fear.

Those feelings would remain for weeks. Months. Years. A lifetime.

Thr candlelight vigil and moment of silence that evening, standing on the porch with one of the adults, looking out, at the sky. Our neighbors, the land around us. For a moment I felt like a patriot, though I barely understood the word. For a moment, in my young soul, I felt the fury, unbearable grief, determination, and pride of a thousand souls. A hundred thousand. A million.

Never Forget.

I have NEVER forgotten that day. The details may have grown fuzy, the exact faces and names blurred. But the feelings? Those remain and will forever. And they have GROWN.

I will NEVER forget what they did to us. That day and the years to come. What that day sparked in what was my then-future. Now-past. War. Fear. Anger. Strength. Patriotism. Lies. Truth. Pride. Honor. Togetherness. Division. Determination. Survival. Above all, survival.

My feelings about what EXACTLY happened that day. The things I know and feel that are strictly my own thoughts, opinions, feelings, knowledge.... are too complicated to discuss here. [Readers may feel free to ask me in private, but only if you are willing to have an open mind, learn, or at least be willing to agree to disagree. My thoughts and opinions on this subject specifically are not something that can be changed by any of you, I promise. Divine judgement will and has been passed.]

However, my long reaching experiences from a metaphysical standpoint, I will share. Not only for me, not only to bring understanding to those who will read this next part with open mind and heart, but also for those I speak of and for. To grieve them, to honor them, to share their stories. To remember them in my own way.

**⚠️If you do not believe in reincarnation, inheriting emotions and memories from others [versions of you or simply others for which you have a connection], and a universal connection for souls, etc, this next part may be of little interest to you. It may make you roll your eyes, or laugh, or scoff. Or it may make you think. It may intrigue you. Either way, whatever your reaction. I will delete any disrespectful, hateful or bully-type comments regarding this post in general but especially this part. These are the experiences I was given. Take it or leave it. Read on or scroll on. Whatever you feel is for you. This is also a trigger warning: the rest of this post is a graphic depiction of three peoples deaths in the towers that day. Here is your chance to exit the reading of this post*

For many years, virtually since the one year anniversary until this date last year, I have been assigned to grieve these people. I have a soulful connection to this event. I feel them. I have relived their memories in my dreams every year for the three days surrounding these moments.

Last year, I did my own version, essentially, of a grief and death ritual and was able to release these connections. The feelings can still be recalled, the memories still crisp in my mine if I think about them, but the sting is lessened, the edges blurred, and compulsory side of it gone. So I am finally able to share these. For their sakes and mine.

She was on the 51st floor when they called for the evacuation. She had felt the shaking, the impact. She had heard rumors that a plane had hit the tower. She didn't know what to believe.

She was on the tenth floor when the smoke started filling the staircase. She was on the 6th when the heat became noticeable. Every floor they reached, more people were added to the scared, confused throng. Every floor, she felt the nervous tension increase a notch. Every minute the smells changed and increased. Sweat, smoke, fear. Every step the sounds became more and more overwhelming. Hurried and panicked voices, alarms blarring, Feet stomping. Bangs and cracks and crashes. Screaming from elsewhere. And this strange roaring or whirring that was getting louder and louder.

She was in a large group now. As she ran her hand along the wall, rounding a corner to descend more steps, she touched the faded black number four. The grit on her fingers transfixed her for a mere second. A combination of smoke, water from the automated sprinklers, and paint peeling from age and the current heat. The wall once pristine white was yellowed.

She felt so confused, so scared. It was so hot. So hard to breathe.

She had just reached the railing to descend to level three when the shaking started.

A rushing wind; hot, stifling. Screaming from above. It got darker and darker as seconds ticked by, almost in slow motion in her mind. She looked up and let out a small breathy scream of horror as she realized: the floors above her were collapsing. As the staircase around her crumbles and collapses, and she feels the debris begin to rain upon her, she closes her eyes and the world goes black.

She was almost out. She was almost there. Instead she remains a lost and missing person. Among the many whose body was never fully recovered. This is the only lost soul whose memory I retained in such detail, semi forced to relive it every year. The two others I was given were much less detailed, much less....full of grity details. But still just as tragic. Still just was heart and soul wrenching.

On the 101st floor the smoke was everywhere. The heat all encompassing. The fire was creeping closer. As she hid beneath the desk, she tried the phones again. Tried again to call for help. All around her her friends and coworkers were trying cell phones and desk phones, yelling to each other across the room and across to other offices, trying to get and share whatever information they had.

Were they supposed to wait here? Try to escape? Time passed and soon their decision was made for them when the fire began filling the hallway outside their set of offices. Shelter in place and wait for rescue. The firemen were there, on their way to get them out.

She looked around and let out a breath of despair and yet somehow acceptance. She looked at the terrified faces of her co-workers, and she knew in that moment. No one was going to reach them in time.

She gave her desk neighbor an attempt at a reassuring smile, took a deep breath, and looked out the window at the sky. The ground rumbled, she said a prayer, and felt the beginning of tears as the floor gave way beneath her.

Whether her family recieved closure or not is unknown to me. I sincerely hope they did.

As he looked out the window he was crouching near, the glass long ago blown out, he trembled. The wind rushing through the room was hot. He wiped sweat off his brow and gazed around the room. He quickly shut his eyes, trying to catch his breath that seemed to be permanently out of reach.

His guilt and regret over what he had done to get where he was and the followup realization that none of it mattered anymore is/was palpable to anyone who witnessed his final moments.

He opened his eyes again, glancing across the room once more and just as quickly shut his eyes once more. The image of his secretary sprawled across the floor, eyes wide, one shoe missing, no longer breathing..... burned into his mind for the short remainder of his time on this planet.

The debris had struck her on the head as parts of the ceiling collapsed. The giant crater in the center of the room preventing the few that survived the initial impact from escaping. Now they few were scattered around the remainder of the room, all in similar positions to him. Looking around, scared, just trying to survive.

The smoke began to thicken. Breathing became impossible. His head began to pound. He got dizzy, his face tingly. Oxygen deprivation. He couldn't breath. Edges of his vision grew darker and darker. He laid down and closed his eyes, this time never to reopen.

May they all rest in peace. May there always be justice and judgment against all who were and are responsible. May we never forget what they did.

[mrs-sharp]

The Eyes of Graphorns

tw: mention of death, loss, pain, alcohol

I finally did it! I translated my first piece of fanfiction. English isn't my first language and it's still not perfect, but I hope it's good enough and you still like it. Please enjoy!

You can also find it on Ao3.

Pairing: Aesop Sharp x Adult fem OC

Summary: After the battle of Hogwarts against Ranrok and his followers was won, nothing is the same for Elaine Hopkins. Her mentor is dead, and she finds herself with a new responsibility as the guardian of the last repository. She finds support in Aesop Sharp, who escorts her after Fig's death and slowly gains her trust.

After her graduation, she disappears for seven years and eventually returns to Hogwarts, where after a long search and wait, she was finally reunited with her former potions professor. She and Sharp grow closer to each other, but soon, they discover that their destinies are interwined more deeply than expected.

-> Chapter 1 - The Battle of Hogwarts

-> Chapter 2 - Goodbyes

-> Chapter 3 - A Reunion

-> Chapter 4 - The Renegades

-> Chapter 5 - Elaine's Laughter

-> Chapter 6 - Elaine's Secret

-> Chapter 7 - Firewhisky and Despair

-> Chapter 8 - Intuition

-> Chapter 9 - The Prophecy

-> Chapter 10 - An Uncertain Night

-> Chapter 11 - A Lost Past

-> Chapter 12 - Dancing With Your Darkness

-> Chapter 13 - Haegel's Ham I

-> Chapter 14 - Haegel's Ham II

-> Chapter 15 - Night Thoughts

-> Chapter 16 - The Room of Requirement

-> Chapter 17 - The Department of Mysteries

-> Chapter 18 - The Shadows of Scarborough (+ Epilogue)

You can find some facts about my oc below, but you will also find most of the stuff mentioned in my fic (but maybe it helps to remember things if you restart reading after a longer break).

Elaine Hopkins:

• born in Scarborough on 19/01/1875 (she doesn't know her birthplace)

• Wand: cedar wood, dragon heartstring, slightly springy, ten and three-quarter inches

• Patronus: Graphorn (surprise!)

• I believe in the headcanon that if she was an animagus, she would turn into a fox (as a child, she often wandered alone through fields and meadows, and sometimes foxes would follow her, but she was never afraid of them – it was more like they were looking out for her)

• she is a Ravenclaw

→ the sorting hat took a long time deciding whether to place her in Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw

→ she is not the typical bookworm; she learns more from practical experience, which is why she adapted well to Sharp's class from the start

→ Elaine is quiet but friendly and helpful and possesses a high degree of empathy (which is also her greatest weakness and often leads her to put the needs of others before her own)

→ although she is quiet and reserved, she is quick-witted and knows how to use sarcasm.

→ she is very good at drawing, kept all her drawings but has given it up for a reason she doesn't want to talk about

→ her favourite subjects were Care of Magical Creatures, Potions, and Defense Against the Dark Arts

→ although she is very popular, she is more of a loner; her best friend is Poppy Sweeting, as they share a passion for magical creatures

→ because she is very reserved and quiet, she mastered non-verbal spells very early on

→ she loves nature, especially the sea, where she enjoys watching Graphorns along the coast

• Elaine Hopkins is not her real name; she grew up in an orphanage where she simply appeared one day; she was 5 years old at the time

→ she didn't know who she was or where she came from, so one of her older „sisters" gave her the name

→ said older sister (Katherine Davies, or Kath for short) soon became a friend and role model for her, as she took care of the younger children; Kath liked Elaine because she was a quiet and intelligent child

→ as Elaine got older, Kath disappeared one day, and from then on Elaine took over her role, teaching the other children, among other things, how to read

→ Elaine was passed from one master to another to bring in some money for the orphanage; if a supervisor tried to discipline her, an unknown force often seemed to protect her, which is why she usually didn't stay in one place for too long

• Fig was the closest thing to a father for her, so after his death, she outwardly tries to carry on her daily life normally, but inwardly withdraws even more

• after graduation

→ even during her school days, Elaine sensed that Sharp was suffering not only from his injury but also from the events related to it

→ she decides to go on journeys to research Graphorns and find a cure for Sharp

→ after her unsuccessful search, she began training as an Auror in 1894

→ works as an Auror until 1900

→ she reopens the Scarborough case and uncovers a black market for goblin artefacts

• After an injury, she takes over the position for Defense Against the Dark Arts and returns to Hogwarts (the parallels to Sharp's story are no coincidence 🙃)

• she owns a small cottage on the Eastern edge of Cragcroft from which you can see the sea and where she finds some peace

[wooahaes]

october '23 fics [masterlist]

pairing: non-idol!skz + non-idol!svt + non-idol!trsr x gn!reader

genre: varies by fic. a mix of spooky fics and fluffy ones. will try to provide warnings w/ updates as needed! (providing some au/warnings in advance)

release date: 10/01/2023 - 10/31/2023

warnings: varies by fic, will be specified within each fic! general warnings for food mentions + skinship in many of these. again, some warnings for AUs or triggers provided on this masterlist--but each fic will have a more specific list of warnings.

oct 1: felix - pumpkin ravioli. 0.8k.

bonus! vocal unit - community & pumpkin patches. 0.9k.

oct 2: seungkwan - a little request. 0.9k. [witchcraft tw]

oct 3: bang chan - run & hide. 1.3k. [death tw]

oct 4: jeonghan - the aftermath of trick-or-treating. 0.7k. [dad!jeonghan au]

oct 5: vernon - working together. 0.8k.

bonus! vocalracha - a family of your choosing. 0.7k.

oct 6: joshua - just out of reach. 1.0k. [ghost au / death tw]

oct 7: junghwan - paper pumpkins. 0.9k. [college au]

bonus! trsr middle line - group effort. 0.7k.

oct 8: jeongwoo - a boost of confidence. 0.9k.

oct 9: dk - a match made in autumn. 0.9k.

bonus! 96z - interrogation room. 0.8k. [housemate au]

oct 10: jun - beyond the veil. 0.8k. [death tw]

oct 11: mingyu - sharpshot. 0.8k.

bonus! trsr hyung line - plushies & petting zoos. 0.8k.

oct 12: changbin - and everything nice. 1.0k.

oct 13: woozi - rain drop on me, on me. 0.8k.

bonus! 97z - caught in a downpour. 0.8k.

oct 14: haruto - chocolate caramels. 1.0k.

oct 15: jaehyuk - vibrance. 0.8k.

oct 16: junkyu - ghosts of the past. 0.8k. [death tw]

oct 17: jeongin - latent power. 1.2k.

bonus! hip hop unit - co-parenting. 0.8k.

oct 18: han - why we work. 0.7k.

oct 19: hyunsuk - a minor cold. 0.8k.

bonus! vocalracha - ginger & lemon. 0.7k.

oct 20: s.coups - an act of caring for others. 1.0k. [husband!cheol]

oct 21: jihoon - a bigger push. 0.8k.

bonus! 95z - morning glow. 1.0k.

oct 22: seungmin - on the house. 0.8k.

oct 23: hoshi - world's worst vampire. 0.8k. [vampire au]

oct 24: asahi - apple pie cookies. 0.6k.

oct 25: lee know - match, mismatch. 0.6k.

oct 26: hyunjin - melted sugar. 0.7k.

bonus! performance unit - team effort. 0.8k. [housemate au]

oct 27: yoshi - a-amaze-ing time together. 0.7k.

oct 28: doyoung - fight, flight. 0.8k.

oct 29: dino - sturdy leaves. 0.8k.

bonus! 3racha - a little less daunting. 0.7k. [comfort]

bonus!...2! mark - just so autumn-y... you know? 0.8k.

oct 30: the8 - oil on canvas. 0.6k.

oct 31: wonwoo - what a cat-astrophe. 1.5k.

bonus! [svt] maknaes - to be together (even when it's hard). 1.2k. [poly, comfort]

[kramerunamazu]

米記者「なんで変な格好してんの？スーツ持ってないの？ｗ」一同「ﾜﾊﾊw」　ゼレ「・・・」 https://hayabusa9.5ch.net/test/read.cgi/news/1740792734/

1 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(東京都) [CN][] 投稿日：2025/03/01(土) 10:32:14.47 ID:ILfh6Q/t0 [1/2]● ?2BP(2000) https://x.com/Acyn/status/1895539133608763857 https://i.imgur.com/vx0PTLj.jpeg

2 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(東京都) [CN][] 投稿日：2025/03/01(土) 10:32:44.46 ID:ILfh6Q/t0 [2/2] ?2BP(1000)

6 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(SB-Android) [US][sage] 投稿日：2025/03/01(土) 10:34:22.63 ID:iFZzDtge0 [1/3] 戦時中ですので

387 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(庭) [EU][] 投稿日：2025/03/01(土) 13:01:30.77 ID:JcOV/pne0 [1/2] >>6 部活もそれならわかるけど ウクライナ側もゼレンスキー以外はみんな高級スーツなのに ゼレンスキーだけ違うって 記者にも安い茶番て 見透かされてるって事なんよ

そんなのも理解できんの？

545 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(山口県) [US][sage] 投稿日：2025/03/01(土) 18:30:09.28 ID:pyohCSHh0 >>6 やってる感を出す

60 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(庭) [TW][sage] 投稿日：2025/03/01(土) 10:46:49.49 ID:q0zTYXoW0 [1/15] これウクライナの兵隊的にはどう思ってるんだろうね

現場に寄り添ってくれる大統領サイコー！なんだろうか はたまた、日本で言えば大震災のとき 小綺麗な作業着コスで記者会見する おえらいさん見るような感じなんだろうか

153 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(庭) [US][sage] 投稿日：2025/03/01(土) 11:11:14.04 ID:UbEWvX9D0 [2/5] 米国では重要な会議でスーツ着るか カジュアルな服で来るかで政治思想が見える、 とバイデンの頃から言われている。

共和党支持者は全員スーツ。 民主党支持者はカジュアルな服。 おそらく裏の意味はお前は左翼かと。

206 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(ジパング) [US][sage] 投稿日：2025/03/01(土) 11:30:14.19 ID:FiMmF/jZ0 >>153 米国だと仕事でカジュアルはシリコンバレーの IT企業のイメージだからな とはいえティム・クックもトランプと会談する 時はスーツだけどw

9 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(石川県) [KZ][sage] 投稿日：2025/03/01(土) 10:36:18.57 ID:cQmJ1XmK0 生きるか死ぬかの瀬戸際にいる者にそんな質問するなよ

198 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(秋田県) [ﾆﾀﾞ][sage] 投稿日：2025/03/01(土) 11:26:28.35 ID:BqIcD8g30 [1/3] >>9 ゼレンスキーはずっとポーランドにいるんだけどな ポーランドの絶対安全な所にいてぬくぬくと暮らし、 たまにグリーンバックの前で演技してるだけ

そのグリーンバックに映像をはめ込んで、 さも司令部にいたりウクライナの戦火に見舞われた街に 視察に訪れてるかのように見せてるだけ グリーンバックの前で撮影してる動画もとっくに流出してるんだぞ

[rosemelon82]

鬼吹灯之龙岭迷窟 - Candle in the Tomb: The Lost Caverns - whump list - (cn)

Synopsis:

Hu Ba Yi, Shirley Yang and Wang Pang Zi explore a mysterious tomb in the Shaanxi region. Shirley Yang travels to the Longling Maze Grottos to investigate unusual patterns on fossil fragments. On the way, she crosses paths with Hu Ba Yi who along with Wang Pang Zi have just escaped from the ancient city. The trio become companions in another tomb-raiding adventure. (copied from MDL)

Genre: action, adventure, thriller, supernatural, tomb raider

Main Whumpees:

Hu Ba Yi played by Pan Yue Ming

Wang Kai Xuan (also known as Wang Pangzi or Fatso) played by Jiang Chao

Da Jin Ya played by Marc Ma

Shirley Yang played by Zhang Yu Qi

Other whumpees listed in orange

(I have included female character whump (Shirley Yang) for those who are interested in it, there isn't much though)

TW: DEATH, SPIDERS

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW

01:

none

02:

Wang Kai Xuan:

18:57 - 20:00 - carsick, throwing up

03:

Wang Kai Xuan:

03:50 - in a storm, thrown off the boat, lowkey drowning

Hu Ba Yi:

03:57 - 08:09 - hits head against the side of the boat, groans in pain, worried for friend, jumps in to save his friend, harpooning a giant creature, stuck holding on to the harpoon which is stuck in the creature, in the air, almost eaten by the creature multiple times, hits the deck hard, groaning, in pain

04:

Da Jin Ya:

19:30 - 28:18 - in a fight, hit multiple times, on the run (comedic), in another fight, hit multiple times, running again, out of breath, asthmatic? idk he uses an inhaler a couple times

Wang Kai Xuan:

19:40 - 28:18 - "stuck" in a bus window, being pulled at, in a fight, pinned in a chokehold, saved by Hu Ba Yi, on the run (comedic), in another fight, choked again

Hu Ba Yi:

19:40 - 28:18 - in a fight, on the run (comedic), in another fight

05:

Da Jin Ya:

23:40 - end of episode - falls into a sinkhole(?), struggling, tumbles down the tunnels, lost

Wang Kai Xuan:

24:00 - end of episode - falls into a sinkhole(?), tumbles down the tunnels, groaning, in pain

Hu Ba Yi:

24:13 - end of episode - jumps into the sinkhole(?), tumbles down the tunnels, groaning, in pain, leaning on Pangzi

06:

Hu Ba Yi:

beginning of episode - coughing, sweating, looking for friend

23:30 - set off an explosion, covered in dirt and dust, coughing

Wang Kai Xuan:

beginning of episode - coughing, sweating, looking for friend

9:40 - 12:00 - bitten by a bat, yelling, running, stuck, panicking and running, almost falls into a hole, saved by friend, kicked into hiding place

23:30 - explosion, covered in dirt and dust, coughing

Da Jin Ya:

21:30 - end of episode - screaming, running, crashes into wall, pulled out by friends, panicked, out of it, slapped x2, crying (comedic), faints, fever, malaria, force fed medicine

07:

Wang Kai Xuan:

14:24 - 16:02 - finds out they have a disease, angry

08:

none

09:

Gu Zhe Shao:

26:11 - vomits golden blood

29:43 - end of episode - arm eaten by carnivorous insects, unknown fate

Gu Zhe Shao's Master (unknown name?):

29:20 - end of episode - half eaten by carnivorous insects, carried to safety by his pupil, unknown fate

10:

Gu Zhe Shao:

beginning of episode - loss of a loved one, grieving, shown with one arm

Gu Zhe Shao's Master (unknown name?):

beginning of episode - TW: DEATH, death

11:

Wang Kai Xuan:

6:12 - 6:44 - beat up, nose bleed, bruises on face, threatened

9:07 - 12:23 - bomb hung around neck, panicked, screaming, faints

18:32 - 25:47 - found trapped in a hanging cage, yelling, surrounded by piranhas, almost bit multiple times, panicked, screaming, dunked in water with piranhas, getting bit, helped out of the cage by friend, relieved, panting

Da Jin Ya:

6:12 - 6:44 - beat up, bruises on face, threatened

9:07 - 12:03 - bomb hung around neck, panicked, screaming

Shirley Yang:

22:07 - 25:47 - jumps onto cage, slips, barely hanging on

12:

TW: SPIDERS

Shirley Yang:

16:18 - end of episode - slips into a hole, tumbling down, groaning, in pain, helped up, fighting off spiders (she is badass), tries to save friend, dragged along the ground, attacked by spiders again, yanked into the air

Wang Kai Xuan:

16:19 - end of episode - slips and falls into a hole, screaming, tumbling down, groaning, in pain, helped up, fighting off spiders, grabbed by spiders, dragged along the ground, saved from being pulled into a spider hole,

Hu Ba Yi:

16:30 - end of episode - pulled into a hole, tumbling down, groaning, coughing, surrounded by spiders, narrowly avoiding spider's attacks, saved by friend, grabbed and yanked by a spider, dragged along the ground, struggling, fighting off spiders again,

Da Jin Ya:

16:25 - end of episode - pulled into a hole, tumbling down, groaning, in pain, steps on a spider egg, panicked, faints, found strung up in spiderwebs, saved

Some random guy:

27:19 - hits a venom sac on spider's leg, sprayed with poison, screaming in pain, half his face burned from poison

13:

Hu Ba Yi:

08:49 - falls, almost stabbed by giant spider multiple times

14:

Da Jin Ya:

5:14 - 17:50 - mercury poisoning, hallucinations, unsteady, breathing hard, sweating, not mentally present, being held up

Shirley Yang:

5:54 - 17:50 - mercury poisoning, sweating, breathing hard, hallucinations,

Hu Ba Yi:

6:34 - 17:50 - mercury poisoning, sweating, blinking hard to stay awake, hallucinations, hazy, unsteady

Wang Kai Xuan:

6:34 - 17:50 - mercury poisoning, blinking hard to stay awake, hazy, unsteady, being held up

15:

TW: MULTIPLE DEATHS OF MA DA DAN'S UNDERLINGS/BROTHERS

Wang Kai Xuan:

29:44 - end of episode - thrown in the air, lands on his arm, screaming, wounds all over, bloody

16:

Hu Ba Yi:

beginning of episode - fighting a spider, struggling, thrown off, dragged, explosion, held up, in pain, exhausted, coughing, speaking very breathily, unsteady, wounds all over

Wang Kai Xuan:

continued from previous episode - wounds all over body, bloody, exhausted, holding up friend

17:

Hu Ba Yi:

14:03 - 29:06 - falls into the pit, falls again, struggling to hang onto the wall, climbing with no clear hand holds, exhausted

18:

TW: DEATH

Li Chun Lai:

beginning of episode - death

Review of drama:

Good action scenes and good whump. No aftercare for those who were looking for it. Very realistic whump and clear exhaustion is seen in the behavior of the characters in the later episodes when they have been going through the tomb for hours. I like the character development for Ma Da Dan, who also got the ending he deserved, after all the trials of the tomb. Luckily, I was able to post this exactly one year after the previous one. I apologize to anyone who was waiting for it, though seeing the amount of interaction on the previous one, not many people were. I will start working on the third season soon, for those looking for it. If I missed anything, please feel free to let me know and any requests for whump lists are welcome. Thanks for sticking through the show and my whump list. Stay tuned for the next ones!

[historicity-was-already-taken]

I posted a few weeks back about how 9/11/2001 is one of my...horrific history things (though it's weird for me to think of it is history, as I was 12 when it happened) that I can never quite look away from, and some of the resulting discourse touched on generational issues, and how the resulting American jingoism has impacted Gen Z's understanding of those events.

While doing something completely unrelated (watching music producers react to "Planet of the Bass" because I am a very serious grown-up person), I came across this video, titled "GEN Z KID Reacts To ‘EVENTS DURING 911’ For The FIRST TIME EVER!" and I'm fascinated. All trigger/content warnings apply.

[icaruslovedapollo]

Google Searches on a Day That Wasn't Important a Few Years Ago

Tw for grief

May 2nd

9:34 am

What does godmother mean?

Godmother meaning

9:46 am

How do I know if grief is normal

How long does grief last

9:49 am

Why can't I run from my grief

10:34 am

Am I going to forget her face?

Is it already fading?

Am I homesick?

How to know if you're homesick

10:40 am

Is it homesickness if it was a person

Why doesn't home feel like home

Why am I homesick in my own house

11:56 am

What to wear to visit a grave

Graveyard etiquette

How expensive are flowers?

12:01 pm

Do dead people have favorite flowers

If I had 5 more minutes with her could I ask what her favorite flower was?

12:06 pm

Why does 5 minutes feel so long but so short

Would a hug save me

12:08 pm

Would a hug have saved her?

12:10 pm

Why does my throat hurt

Why does my chest hurt

Why does my head hurt

Why do my arms hurt

12:12 pm

Does it ever stop hurting or does it just fade?

12:15 pm

Did she know how much we loved her?

12:20 pm

Does sleeping help with grief

Why doesn't sleeping help

12:50 pm

Why can't I sleep

Does grief make insomnia worse

12:52 pm

Does death feel like sleep

1:23 pm

Does it matter what you wear to a grave

Would she like this outfit?

How to know when you're overthinking

1:25 pm

How to stop overthinking

1:32 pm

Directions to her grave

Why is it so far away

1:35 pm

Will this help?

[theonyxstate]

tw: usa, gun violence

According to NCAA (National Collegiate Athletic Association) president there are less trans athletes in whole of USA's colleges than US mass shootings in the first two weeks of February.

Trans athletes competing in colleges according to NCAA president: "fever then 10" in words of Charlie Baker, NCAA

Mass shootings between 1st and 14th of February 2025: eleven:

1) Feb 1st, Oregon

2) Feb 2nd, Pennsylvania

3) Feb 4th, Ohio

4) Feb 6th, Florida

5) Feb 7th, Georgia

6) Feb 8th, Arizona

7) Feb 8th, Oklahoma

8) Feb 8th, North Carolina

9) Feb 9th, California

10) Feb 10th, Wyoming

11) Feb 12th, Missouri

Actual number of transgender athletes competing in US colleges: estimated about 40

Number of trans athletes competing in schools, grades K to 12*: five. 5. literally five.

Number of mass shootings in US in 2025 as of Feb 25th: 37

just so you know.

*article described it as "middle and high school", but I don't know enough about US education system to be sure that this is the same.

sources: https://www.gunviolencearchive.org/reports/mass-shooting, https://www.outsports.com/2025/1/16/22850789/trans-athletes-college-ncaa-lia-thomas/, https://www.thepinknews.com/2025/01/15/how-many-transgender-athletes-are-there-in-the-us/ CNN, NYT

[mercoglianotrueblog]

Trump accession and Putin ideas

#JFK,#Nixon wanted to close #CIA which had become "deep state"..#Trump wants to release #files on deaths of #RFK,#MLK..9/11 plane hit precisely #Pentagon "storage room"

#tariffs to end #Ukraine war? #Russia no longer needs #US #EU to support its economy

https://salvatoremercogliano.blogspot.com/2025/01/trump-accession-and-putin-ideas.html?spref=tw

[livealittleoc-cb]

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Residential News 

☽｡⋆ Welcome! [New Character Posts]

2022

✮ Emilia && Jooheon Welcome Post [10/27/22] ✮ Diego && Leo Welcome Post [11/05/22] ✮ Ace && Jay Welcome Post [11/08/22]

2023

Dionysus, Apollo, Artemis, Anubis && Set Welcome Post [02/17/23]

Ares && Hades Welcome Post [02/22/23]

☽｡⋆ Group News! [Multiple Character Updates]

2022

✮ Update 1 [A New Crowned] [Everyone] [11/10/22] ✮ Update 2 [Little Fun Random Update] [Everyone] [11/19/22] ✮ Tease Update 1 [Everyone] [NSFW MINORS DNI] [11/22/22] ✮ Update 3 [Fun OOTD] [Everyone] [11/23/22] ✮ Update 4 [Next Day Thoughts] [Emilia, Jooheon, Jay && Ace] [11/26/22] ✮ Update 5 [Family Visits] [Everyone] [11/27/22] ✮ Tease Update 2 [Everyone] [NSFW MINORS DNI] [11/29/22] ✮ Update 6 [Last Day Visits] [Everyone] [11/30/22] ✮ Update 7 [Back to Business] [Everyone] [12/01/22] ✮ Update 8 [Familiar Friday] [Emilia, Jooheon, Leo, Ace && Jay] [12/01/22] ✮ Update 9 [Random Update] [Everyone] [12/03/22] ✮ Update 10 [The Next Day] [Leo && Ace] [12/05/22] ✮ Tease Post 3 [Everyone] [NSFW MINORS DNI] [12/06/22] ✮ Update 11 [Start of Weekend Update] [Everyone] [12/09/22] ✮ Tease Post 4 [Everyone] [NSFW MINORS DNI] [12/13/22] ✮ Update 11 [Random Update~] [Everyone] [12/15/22] ✮ Update 12 [Saturday Update] [Emilia, Jooheon, Diego, Leo && Ace] [12/17/22] ✮ Update 13 [Home Ward~] [Everyone] [12/23/22] ✮ Update 14 [Christmas Eve Update] [Everyone] [12/24/22] ✮ Update 15 [Monday Update] [Everyone] [12/26/22] ✮ Tease Post 5 [Everyone] [NSFW MINORS DNI] [12/27/22] ✮ Update 16 [Happy New Years Eve] [12/31/22]

2023

✮ Update 17 [New Year Update] [Everyone] [01/01/23] ✮ Tease Post 6 [Everyone] [NSFW MINORS DNI] [01/03/23] ✮ Update 18 [Persephone && Hades Anniversary Party] [Hades, Persephone, Jooheon && Jay] [01/07/23] ✮ Update 19 [Random Thursday Update] [Everyone] [01/12/23] ✮ Update 20 [Weekend Things~] [Everyone] [01/14/23] ✮ Tease Post 7 [Everyone] [NSFW MINORS DNI] [01/20/23] ✮ Update 21 [Monday Update] [Everyone] [01/23/23] ✮ Update 22 [Thursday Update] [Everyone] [01/26/23] ✮ Tease Post 8 [Everyone] [NSFW MINORS DNI] [01/31/23] ✮ Update 23 [Random Update Time~] [Everyone] [02/03/23] ✮ Tease Post 9 [Everyone] [Valentine’s Special] [02/14/23] ✮ Update 24 [Random Update~] [Everyone] [02/27/23]

☽｡⋆ Greyson News! [Greyson Individual Updates]

2022

---

2023

☽｡⋆ Emilia News! [Emilia Individual Updates]

2022

✮ Emilia Update 1 [A Day at Club Luna] [11/13/22] ✮ Emilia Update 2 [I Used to Love You] [TW: Violence, Stalking, Attempts of Kidnapping] [11/25/22]

2023

☽｡⋆ Jooheon News! [Jooheon Individual Updates]

2022

✮ Jooheon Update 1 [The Stars are Falling] [11/14/22] ✮ Jooheon Update 2 [Silent Cry] [TW: Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse, Allusions of Depression/Depressive Thoughts] [11/25/22]

2023

✮ Jooheon Update 3 [New Years Resolution] [TW: Mentions of Violence, Mentions of Potential Death, Alcohol, Addiction, Smoking, Deugs] [01/04/23]

☽｡⋆ Diego News! [Diego Individual Updates]

2022

✮ Diego Update 1 [Weather Alert] [11/15/22]

2023

☽｡⋆ Leo News! [Leo Individual Updates]

2022

✮ Leo Update 1 [Training Day] [11/16/22] ✮ Leo Update 2 [Shattered Home] [TW: Mentions/Allusions of Child Neglect, Some Violence, Strong Language] [12/04/22]

2023

☽｡⋆ Ace News! [Ace Individual Updates]

2022

✮ Ace Update 1 [Ice Presents] [11/17/22] ✮ Ace Update 2 [Arranged] [12/04/22] ✮ Ace Update 3 [The Council Has Spoken] [Part 2 to Arranged] [12/08/22] ✮ Ace Update 4 [A Memory From the Past] [TW: Heavy Sexual Language, Strong Language, Manipulative Past Relationship, Ace Basically Gets Called a Whore, Jay Gets Called a Bitch, Mentions of Sleeping Around, Smoking Mentioned] [12/28/22] ✮ Ace Update 5 [The Day of Reckoning] [TW: Mentions of Blood, A Lot of Violence, Rituals] [Part 2 to A Memory From the Past] [12/29/22]

2023

✮ Birthday Posts: 24th Birthday [02/18/23]

☽｡⋆ Jay News! [Jay Individual Updates]

2022

✮ Jay Update 1 [War Crimes? No. Just Crimes] [11/18/22] ✮ Jay Update 2 [A Day to Remember] [TW: Violence, Bruises, Blood, Scars] [11/25/22] ✮ Jay Update 3 [Cold Season] [TW: Blood, Mentions of Scars, Weapons] [12/16/22] ✮ Jay Update 4 [Awakened] [Part 2 to Cold Season] [12/19/22] ✮ Jay Update 5 [Out! …Kind of…] [12/22/22] ✮ Jay Update 6 [The Day of Reckoning] [Mentions of Blood, A Lot of Violence, Rituals] [Part 2 to A Memory From the Past] [12/29/22]

2023

✮ Jay Update 7 [Demon of the Valley] [TW: Mentions of Death, Blood, Heart Attacks, Jay Gets Called a Whore, Derealization] [01/17/23]

✮ Birthday Posts: 20th Birthday [12.12.22] |

☽｡⋆ Extra News! [Fun Facts && More]

2022

✮ Extra Update 1 [Fun Facts About the Babes~] [NSFW MENTIONED MINORS DNI] [12/20/22]

2023

✮ Extra Update 2 [Physical Training/Activities && Schedules] [02/09/23]

Game Pages! [Ask Games && Statuses]

2022

✮ Misc. Ask Meme [Open] [12.10.22]

2023

✮ PINK themed asks [Open] [01/22/23] ✮ Text Ask Game [Open] [01/24/23] ✮ ~romantic asks~ [Open] [01/30/23] ✮ SEXY ABC [Open] [NSFW MINORS DNI] [02/07/23] ✮ Ace’s Valentine’s Day Ask Game [Closed] [02/12/23] ✮ THE FIVE SENSES [Open] [02/21/23]

[apcomplexhq]

✦ Nome do personagem: Na 'Matthew' Woohyun. ✦ Faceclaim e função: Hanbin - ZEROBASEONE. ✦ Data de nascimento: 22/01/2001. ✦ Idade: 23 anos. ✦ Gênero e pronomes: Masculino, ele/dele. ✦ Nacionalidade e etnia: Canadá, sul-coreano. ✦ Qualidades: Carismático, zeloso e disciplinado. ✦ Defeitos: Explosivo, frustrado e egoísta. ✦ Moradia: Tartaros. ✦ Ocupação: Body Piercer no Muse 9. ✦ Bluesky: @TT01NW ✦ Preferência de plot: ANGST, CRACK, FLUFFY. ✦ Char como condômino: Passa o dia todo fora de casa, não faz muito barulho. Acaba brigando muito com o namorado a noite.

TW's na bio: abandono parental, menção a violência doméstica. Biografia:

Matthew não conhece seus pais biológicos e não tem interesse em conhecê-los – por que teria vontade de conhecer quem o abandonou no Canadá, dias após seu nascimento? Janeiro sempre é mais frio que o comum para ele. 

Na Woohyun é filho de um casal coreano novo de mais para a responsabilidade que vinha com uma criança. A escolha mais correta a se fazer era entregá-lo, para que ele tivesse uma vida digna, certo? Eles ainda tinham muito a viajar. A decisão foi feita em 02 de fevereiro de 2002, 11 dias depois. 

Claro que, preso no Canadá, ele praticamente mudaria de nome. Foi chamado de Matthew desde antes de criar consciência, muito antes de um segundo casal coreano aparecer em sua vida. Os Lee buscavam uma família feliz e uma vida estável – por isso foram para o outro lado do mundo, a tentativa de prosperidade. Aparentemente inférteis, eles se mostraram capazes e dispostos e assim, adotaram um  Woohyun de 5 anos, e com ele ficaram. 

Seu pai não era tão amoroso quanto esperado de um homem desesperado por um filho; fechado, agressivo. Woohyun aprendeu a respeitar seus limites em pouquíssimo tempo. Percebeu que, ficando quieto, não teriam problemas, mesmo com os gritos, explosões, ameaças; foi a forma que encontrou de amá-lo quando criança. Uma inspiração, um pilar, sua mãe era quase que o completo contrário do marido. Doce, o tratava como a joia mais rara do mundo, o troféu mais valioso de todas as competições. Matthew era sua maior prioridade, ela dizia. Ele amava e se sentia amado. 

Lee Yerin é uma maldição. No momento em que descobriram a gravidez, foi como se Woohyun já não existisse mais. Afinal, aquela era a família com qual eles tanto sonhavam, com uma filha de verdade. Ela nasceu dois anos depois de sua adoção. Mesmo novo, ele sentia a diferença no tratamento – seu pai menos paciente, sua mãe distante. O ódio que desenvolveu pela irmã não era sem fundamento. Deixou de respeitar o espaço do pai sem tempo, retrucava aos gritos, assustava a mãe. Também não demorou para que o mais velho deixasse de se importar e o agredisse a cada palavra mal dita.

O que o ajudou durante a imigração para a Coreia em 2020, a volta do casal arrependido, foi o interesse repentino em desenhar. Por o que sentia no papel, rabiscar até rasgar. Conseguia se expressar por seus cadernos de uma forma que jamais sonharia por em palavras. A adaptação com certeza estava sendo difícil, e a insistência de seus pais de que entrasse em uma universidade o estressava ainda mais. Foi quando algo clicou em sua mente. Se pudesse trabalhar com desenho, qualquer forma que fosse, poderia se livrar do inferno, de uma forma que o trouxesse certa felicidade. A venda dos desenhos o ajudava, e mesmo que não fosse muito, conseguia guardar de pouco em pouco. 

Na metade de 2021, conseguiu finalmente comprar algo que chegava perto – ainda não o que queria – de como finalmente queria trabalhar. Bodypiercing era definitivamente mais chato que tatuagem, mas ainda assim, logo se viu longe da casa dos pais e irmã. Seus amigos do trabalho eram gentis, pessoas que ele buscava manter; e graças a eles conheceu Bae Mingi. Clicaram quase que de imediato, e Matthew não negaria mesmo na pior situação que sua paixão por ele era cega. Sentia que, tendo o outro junto, estava bem. 

O relacionamento fluiu rápido entre eles, e não demorou para que passassem tempo acordados sonhando com um futuro para eles. Foi ao mesmo tempo que foi contratado no 9MUSES, um estúdio distante de sua casa que o aluguel subiu. O novo emprego era bom, o lugar era bom, o desconto que os moradores recebiam era quase um sonho. Foi quando juntaram o útil ao agradável. Já tinha um tempo que conversavam sobre morarem juntos, dar aquele passo. Então, por que não em um lugar bom, que poderia os ajudar a ter uma vida melhor? 

Bem, ele não sabia que ela viraria um inferno outra vez.

[lockheed-martin-unofficial]

Here’s all that I know:

Summary of how he became the Shockwave we know.

Senator Shockwave doesn’t take the centerstage in Dark Cybertron, but there’s at least one panel of him. Can’t remember if it was in the first or second volume. The end of Vol 2 definitely has Optimus talking to regular Shockwave trying to reverse the empurata. One of my favourite pages. And if you’re trying to write Shockop you NEED to see it.

MTMTE issues 9-11. This is his past with Orion Pax.

I became aware of these by clicking the sources of TW wiki citations or just clicking the images they used in order to see which comics they were from. There might be others, but I don’t believe seen images of him online that weren’t from these. Have fun reading!

What I know about senator Shockwave is purely from fandom and I've been hunting down anything that has the volumes that have his apearences but for the life of me I can't find them

Does someone has them in a list? Pretty pleaseeee I need to know the original madness of him and Optimus and I do not want to read all one by one of the volumes to get to them yet, no time

[kramerunamazu]

米記者「なんで変な格好してんの？スーツ持ってないの？ｗ」一同「ﾜﾊﾊw」　ゼレ「・・・」 https://hayabusa9.5ch.net/test/read.cgi/news/1740792734/

1 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(東京都) [CN][] 投稿日：2025/03/01(土) 10:32:14.47 ID:ILfh6Q/t0 [1/2]● ?2BP(2000) https://x.com/Acyn/status/1895539133608763857 https://i.imgur.com/vx0PTLj.jpeg

2 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(東京都) [CN][] 投稿日：2025/03/01(土) 10:32:44.46 ID:ILfh6Q/t0 [2/2] ?2BP(1000)

6 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(SB-Android) [US][sage] 投稿日：2025/03/01(土) 10:34:22.63 ID:iFZzDtge0 [1/3] 戦時中ですので

387 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(庭) [EU][] 投稿日：2025/03/01(土) 13:01:30.77 ID:JcOV/pne0 [1/2] >>6 部活もそれならわかるけど ウクライナ側もゼレンスキー以外はみんな高級スーツなのに ゼレンスキーだけ違うって 記者にも安い茶番て 見透かされてるって事なんよ

そんなのも理解できんの？

545 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(山口県) [US][sage] 投稿日：2025/03/01(土) 18:30:09.28 ID:pyohCSHh0 >>6 やってる感を出す

60 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(庭) [TW][sage] 投稿日：2025/03/01(土) 10:46:49.49 ID:q0zTYXoW0 [1/15] これウクライナの兵隊的にはどう思ってるんだろうね

現場に寄り添ってくれる大統領サイコー！なんだろうか はたまた、日本で言えば大震災のとき 小綺麗な作業着コスで記者会見する おえらいさん見るような感じなんだろうか

153 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(庭) [US][sage] 投稿日：2025/03/01(土) 11:11:14.04 ID:UbEWvX9D0 [2/5] 米国では重要な会議でスーツ着るか カジュアルな服で来るかで政治思想が見える、 とバイデンの頃から言われている。

共和党支持者は全員スーツ。 民主党支持者はカジュアルな服。 おそらく裏の意味はお前は左翼かと。

206 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(ジパング) [US][sage] 投稿日：2025/03/01(土) 11:30:14.19 ID:FiMmF/jZ0 >>153 米国だと仕事でカジュアルはシリコンバレーの IT企業のイメージだからな とはいえティム・クックもトランプと会談する 時はスーツだけどw

9 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(石川県) [KZ][sage] 投稿日：2025/03/01(土) 10:36:18.57 ID:cQmJ1XmK0 生きるか死ぬかの瀬戸際にいる者にそんな質問するなよ

198 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(秋田県) [ﾆﾀﾞ][sage] 投稿日：2025/03/01(土) 11:26:28.35 ID:BqIcD8g30 [1/3] >>9 ゼレンスキーはずっとポーランドにいるんだけどな ポーランドの絶対安全な所にいてぬくぬくと暮らし、 たまにグリーンバックの前で演技してるだけ

そのグリーンバックに映像をはめ込んで、 さも司令部にいたりウクライナの戦火に見舞われた街に 視察に訪れてるかのように見せてるだけ グリーンバックの前で撮影してる動画もとっくに流出してるんだぞ

[sleepydelights]

Tw: menstruation, period talk, blood, trauma, CSA, miscarriage

I’ve never had a ‘normal’ period in my life. I got my period when I was 11, a random day in 6th grade. It was before school and my 15 year old sister was curling her hair at the mirror when I sat to pee and discovered the cannon event.

I showed my sister and she handed me a box of tampons, saying “Good luck” as she walked out of the bathroom. That began my lonely journey with my period. My sister didn’t do anything wrong here. We were both victims of daily psychological, physical, and sexual abuse from a stepfather. We didn’t speak about it but we both knew it was happening. That’s a long story I’m sure I’ll get into another time, but I just want it known my sister’s inability to help me with my period wasn’t her fault and I do not blame her.

Because of the abuse happening behind closed doors, I developed a raging amount of shame concerning my genitals. I was also afraid. My sister had already conceived and had a child at 13/14 as a result of the abuse and I was afraid I was next. As much as I feared and hated my period, seeing it was a relief. But I didn’t know how to properly manage it. I’d had no sexual education and no resources.

My abuser had told me that if I ever let it get out what he was doing, he’d kill my whole family and then me. That kind of threat to a child is so powerful and it worked on me so well that I didn’t tell my mom I’d gotten my period. I thought she would somehow know what was happening to me and the secret would get out and she would die.

I couldn’t ask for menstrual products, I couldn’t buy them for myself. I had to steal from my sister or resort to less than sanitary options. Then one day my mom found my stash of dirty underwear after wondering why she hadn’t washed any of mine in some time.

Thank goodness her finding out about my period didn’t lead her to discover the truth, I always thought. But at least I got the period talk and learned about products and could then ask for them when I needed them. But a lifelong feeling of shame and grossness has always been attached to my period.

I often wonder how many times I possibly conceived during the two more years of abuse that persisted after my first period. There’s no way of knowing but I do believe havoc was wreaked upon my reproductive system that lead to me having a worse than average period experience. Heavy unmanageable flow, cramps that rip through my entire abdomen, forcing me into a huddled mass of tears, back pain like I’ve never known it. 9/11/01 was the only day where it was perfectly acceptable to lay my head on my desk in 7th grade math and just sob.

We escaped our abusive situation when I was freshly 13. Shortly after, our abuser found a way to get to us and my sister and I realized the only way to stop him was to finally tell our mother what had been happening. Following that conversation (again details for another day, I’m getting distracted here), we immediately went to the police station and then victims clinic.

I had my first pelvic exam. I was nervous but I wasn’t afraid. These were women. Women had never hurt me, these women weren’t going to hurt me. They didn’t, but their sadness and discomfort was palpable to me and I didn’t understand it. I thought I had done something wrong. I thought there was something wrong with me.

I found out many years later that there was damage there and many more years later that it was my story and not my genitalia that made them uncomfortable.

They couldn’t help me with my period problems. Because of that I felt like maybe I was just being a baby about it. Surely everyone who had a period went through this? Fast forward.

I bled through my entire junior year of college. Read that again. The ENTIRE year. It’s a wonder I didn’t fail out. I spent probably hundreds of hours that year just doing physics homework in the bath because boiling hot baths were the only thing that brought any kind of relief to my confusing parts. One day, I guess my friends had finally had enough of my complaining and I get it. How long can you really sit around watching someone you care about shooting themselves in the foot and whining about the pain? With love and encouragement they convinced me to see a gynecologist. Why hadn’t I done so up until that point? I could give a million reasons and they’d all come off as an excuse. But to put it simply: trauma and cost.

I saw a wonderful gynecologist who immediately but gently asked “How long have you had that going on?” Turns out I’d had a massive lipoma on my right labia majora caused by blunt force trauma. I’d been going through life thinking I just had to add wonky labia flaps to my list of not cool things about me.

That unleashed a whole flood of feelings I wasn’t ready for and she got me set up with a therapist and a surgeon and some birth control. I took the birth control and did the therapy and got the surgery. The surgery was fantastic. Morphine? 10/10 would do again. The therapy sucked. And the birth control stopped my period which I loved but then I found myself trying to decide if I should drive my car into that brick wall or that group of people. I’d always had thoughts of hurting myself but the thoughts I had of hurting others really scared me and I quit taking the birth control.

Eventually my therapist convinced to get on a non-hormonal birth control and it really helped. For the first time ever my period, at least in terms of regularity, was normal. Fast forward, made a mistake with the Nuvaring. Didn’t know I was pregnant until I was in the ER miscarrying. I was able to conceive again (years later and on purpose this time haha), but after I had my child my periods been going haywire.

I am on day 4 today of my first period in 6 or 7 months and it’s been the most physically intense one of my life. In the days leading up to it, I know I felt off. If I could have simply known it was PMS or PMDD or whatever the fuck it is, maybe I wouldn’t have had such a hard confusing time. Maybe I wouldn’t have done or said certain things. But I did and I have to live with that. I know I need help. I think my lived experiences and anxiety-driven decisions have lead me to this point but I don’t have to be stuck here. I’m tired of letting myself be a victim.