#tw: ED

[r0tten-pupz]

Babes..besties…PLEASE stop weighing yourself after you just ate

Your food doesn’t disappear into the shadow realm once you eat it. It’s GOING to make you a few pounds heavier. And that’s perfectly okay!! I swear <3

Wait some time until you do or until you crap it all out. Please stop beating yourself over it when it’s perfectly normal to happen

[causetheturtle]

Obsessed with the Young Royals finale.

Obsessed with Simon, Sara, Wilhelm and Felice driving away from a shutdown Hillerska, free from a system which was never going to accept them, happy and together.

Obsessed with how there’s still a chance Hillerska could reopen because that system is next to impossible to take down and the upper-class rarely face real consequences for their actions.

Obsessed with August’s face when he saw Wilhelm walking away, realising that he was trapped. Wilhelm said August was the heir they needed but he couldn’t have been more wrong - that man has bucket loads of trauma, an eating disorder he isn’t even close to ready to confront and no support system around him, he’s not gonna do much better with the role of Crown Prince than Wilhelm did.

Obsessed with Nils coming out to his friends and them easily accepting him, because their issue with Simon really was the fact that he was poor and a socialist, and Nils both still believes in the system he’s in and his queerness doesn’t destabilise the system the same way Wilhelm’s does.

Obsessed with Stella ending up with Fredrika, because although Rosh might have been fun to hang out with for a night Stella also still believes in and upholds the system she belongs to and Rosh was never going to fit in that system or uphold the traditional feminine values needed to survive in it.

Obsessed with how the monarchy is portrayed as unchangeable and impossible to modernise because it’s built on such outdated ideals.

Obsessed with the mix of both happy and open-ended endings.

I just adore it so much

[twstassets]

*** Book 7 Spoilers ***

Book 7 - Chapter 12 - Heartslabyul updated for the new update!

Main story assets and dialogue for Book 7 - Chapter 12 can be found here: Link

[bbyg4rl]

I wanted to say thank you for answering my question so quickly and kindly but I was also curious if you'd be willing to write anything about JJ with a reader that has an eating disorder. I know ed's are a very sensitive topic to a lot of people so if you aren't comfortable with it I 100% understand. I used to have an ed that I still often struggle with, something like anorexia but never fully anorexic if that makes sense but that's why I was asking. So if you are comfortable with it I'd love a concept/thought thing about it that's completely fine too. ALSO. JJ is very kiss me thru the phone by soulja boy and Sammie codded

-🦇

You sat on the counter, knees pulled to your chest, hoodie sleeves covering your hands. The granola bar sat unopened beside you.

JJ didn’t say anything at first. Just walked over, peeled it open, and broke off a piece like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Open,” he said quietly, like he was asking, not telling.

You hesitated, but he waited—patient, soft-eyed. So you did.

He slipped the piece past your lips like he’d done it a thousand times, like he wanted to. And when you chewed, he gave you the faintest smile, eyes never leaving yours.

“See?” he murmured. “Still human. Still loved. Still here.”

Another bite. And another.

He didn’t rush you. Didn’t count the pieces or comment on how little you’d eaten that day. He just fed you, slowly, gently, like it wasn’t about food at all—but about care.

“You don’t have to do it alone,” he whispered, brushing a crumb from your lip.

And when you leaned into his chest afterward, stomach full—not of food, but of safety—you believed him. He didn’t offer you a lecture or a plate of food you couldn’t look at. Just opened his arms and let you fold into him.

Just a little. Just enough.

read more concepts here !

as someone whos always had struggles with anorexia, this one is so personal to me, ive had a draft dealing w this since i started this page in jan and i havent been able to finish it yet, but heres a lil blurb, which isnt fiction rly bc i was lucky enough to have someone in my life who helped me walk thru that hell path, my dms and my asks are always open for you love ❤️‍🩹 this isnt something you have to deal with alone and ill always listen no matter how irrational or stupid or constricting it may feel. you're always loved. remember that ❤️‍🩹

also yes jj is very kiss me thru the phone coded

[demonslayerunhinged]

*cw: this theory deals with child sexual abuse and has mentions of suicidal ideation and eating disorders.

*If you or anyone you know is going through this, you can find resources here, here and here as well as a list of international hotlines.

Obanai is probably the second most hated character in the fandom, and just like Sanemi, he’s one of the most misunderstood. I think the hate he gets from the fandom is unwarranted; he’s accused of being a dick, a horrible person, a simp and a character who only exists to be Mitsuri’s love interest. All of which is unfair, sure he’s prickly and unapproachable, but he’s not as bad as the fandom makes him out to be.

So, in my quest to draft a defense for our favorite snek boy, I reread his backstory and in doing so, I realized something sad

Unhinged theory

Obanai is a sexual abuse survivor

Let me explain:

Obanai’s backstory and aspects of his character mirrors that of someone who’s been through sexual trauma. The evidence I'm going to present is a combination of my own knowledge about these matters and information I got from forums and websites for male survivors of sexual abuse. So let's examine them...um spoilers

The snake demon

I believe that the snake demon is a metaphor for a sexual predator. Her inclusion in the family could also be a metaphor for how these predators insert themselves into family units-or most of the time are family members themselves-and abuse the children for years and even generations. Obanai's relatives sacrificing their babies to her could signify the real life actions of families who are unaware or, turn a blind eye to, or sometimes actively participate in the abuse of their children.

The sacrifice in exchange for wealth speaks of how families in real life ignore the abuse of their children to maintain the wealth and status they obtain from being related to and associated with the abuser.

Even her decision to wait, ordering the cutting of his mouth so he would look like her, could be interpreted as her 'grooming' him in a sense.

Even her design has a certain sexual, predatory aspect to it that's different from the other demons.

His relatives

Obanai describes his family members as being 'disgustingly' affectionate and bringing him lots of 'greasy' food that made him sick. Food in media is often used to depict love, affection, connection and sex, and Demon Slayer is no different.

There are plenty of instances where food and the giving of food has been used to denote friendship (Tanjiro giving Zenitsu, Inosuke and Genya meals in an attempt to bond with them), connection (Giyuu wanting to give Sanemi ohagi), love (Tanjiro's love of cooking and the satisfaction he shows when his meals are enjoyed by others) and pleasure (Mitsuri's large appetite). I'll make a post about this later.

With this context, we can interpret their bringing of rich foods, their overbearing attention and affections as them objectifying and even being sexually inappropriate with him.

The sexual abuse

Non-physical.

The first instance of abuse is non-physical, but that doesn't make it any less important. Being constantly visited by the snake demon in his room at night, Obanai described his feelings of terror, being paralyzed and watched. His body would break out in a sweat, and he would be unable to fall asleep.

His descriptions of the experience and his body's reaction to it reminded me of some survivors' stories I read, where they talked about how in the initial stages of the abuse or when the abuser was first introduced into their lives, their abuser would give them unwanted attention, would stare at them in a way that felt creepy, gross and wrong.

Some had their abusers come in to their rooms, maybe under the guise of 'checking in on them'. They described feeling terrified, freezing up with the hopes that the attacker would leave. Some would take measures such as sleeping with the door locked or with a heavy object against it, sleeping with a sibling or parent, sleeping in a hiding spot that the attacker knows nothing about or not sleeping at all.

Physical.

The specific age that the snake demon plans to 'eat' Obanai is never stated, but from what we've seen so far and in the sexual context, we can assume that she's waiting until he hits puberty. Some studies state that the average age of victims of female sex offenders usually falls around 14 years, but there are cases where the female predator waited until their victim reached sexual maturity before they carried out their abuse, like in the case of Mary Kay Letourneau. Here's a video that breaks down an interview she did before her death.

Obanai was 12 when he was dragged out of his cell to be subjected to what I believe is the first physical abuse. He had his mouth slit from ear to ear, with the blood collected and fed to her. The snake demon decided to have him live a little longer, which again, fits into my theory of her wanting to wait until he reached puberty.

Bodily violation, violence and blood are common allegories for sexual assault used in media and in Obanai's backstory we see it being used when his relatives drag him from his cell, literally pin him down, cut his mouth and feed his blood to the snake demon. The act of feeding on his blood could also be a metaphor for the snake demon sexually abusing him.

His escape and the resulting fallout

Obanai managed to escape, and although he was tracked down by the snake demon, he was saved by Shinjuro Kengoku before she could kill him. His cousin's response was to blame him for all that happened, asked why he ran away, and said that he should have 'allowed' the demon to eat him.

This could represent how some victims are rejected, ostracized and criticized for speaking out against their attacker, exposing the abuse to the public and getting help. Their families would say 'you should have just let it happen', 'you destroyed the family', 'why did you run away, tell people?' and place the blame on the victim.

Obanai's reaction

There are three aspects of his characterization that are similar to the common reactions noticed in adult survivors of sexual assault, especially male survivors.

His appearance.

His behavior.

His beliefs.

His appearance

Obanai has a small frame that he hides with his baggy uniform and haori. I can tell it's baggy compared to that of the other slayers because of the width of his pants vs the width of his lower legs. Desexualization or hypo-sexualization is a common response among some survivors of sexual trauma, this usually involves wearing clothes and taking measures to make themselves look 'unattractive'.

'But this side feels more comfortable for me, like the baggy clothes I wear, which hide my body, and the long sleeves which reach past my wrists. I promised myself no man would ever touch me again, and whether it was a moment of triumph, or a moment of defeat, I still don't know.'

'I'm thin, shy. I seem easy to dominate. I've grown a beard. That's helped a little. I dress in baggy clothes, covering as much of my skin as possible. That makes me feel safe.'

This not only helps regain a sense of control and power over their body but also serves as a protective measure against sexual advances so they don't get abused again.

In Obanai, given his history of receiving unwanted, suffocating and 'disgusting' attention from his female relatives, it would make sense that he would want to dress in a way that makes him unapproachable and hides his body from the opposite sex. We can see his attempts to desexualize himself in the picture below:

His behavior

'Iguro has difficulty with girls. Due to his experiences growing up, he was unable to conquer his fear and animosity. Plus, the firls who joined the Demon Slayer Corps often put on brave faces because of their sad backgrounds, so he felt sorry for them, making him uncomfortable in a different way.' - Taisho Whispers, official English translation.

'Iguro-san isn't good with women. Due to his upbringing he has a fear and disgust towards women. (I couldn't overcome it easily. The women who joined the Demon Slayer Corps have painful stories of determination. I felt sorry for them and I didn't get along with them in a way that was different from the way I got along with my family)' - Taisho Whispers, direct-sort-of-shitty translation via Google Translate.

Male survivors who were victims of childhood abuse by female perpetrators often talk about how the abuse greatly affected their relationships with women or lack thereof. Some going so far as to say that they became afraid of women, being around them and how sometimes being touched by women would trigger panic attacks and remind them of the trauma.

Here are some quotes posted in a thread on the Male Survivor forum. Full thread here.

'Once that happened, my genophobia became more intense. I couldn't ware short trousers in summer, could never go swimming, got paranoid if I touched a woman's arm or even brushed against one, would always stand at a distance from female friends, and would literally leave the room if anything explicit was discussed.'

'I have started to have strange, deep discomforting feelings as I remember some of the assaults and I have gotten to a place where touch from a woman makes my hair stand up, makes me nauseous, and gives me chills and feelings of dread.'

Obanai has similar responses when he finds himself in proximity to women. We're only told about it in the main manga, but it's shown in the Gakuen. I know the Gakuen takes place in an alternate universe, but aside from the events, the behaviors of the characters are based on their actual personalities in the main manga, so we can safely say the reactions he displays in the Gakuen is canon to his character.

His beliefs

Adult survivors of sexual abuse often struggle with feelings of guilt, rage, and shame. In the manga, Obanai talks about being held back by the decaying hands of his family members, which could represent the long-lasting effects of sexual abuse and how some survivors carry these burdens all through adulthood or throughout their lives.

There's also the thoughts about himself that echo the heartbreaking thoughts shared by some male survivors.

Guilt:

"As the member of a filthy family, I too was corrupt. My sins were deep, so I could not live a normal life"

Rage:

"With no other outlet, I turned all my rage on demons in a grudge of intense hatred. By risking my life for others, I felt as if I could in some way become a slightly better person."

Shame:

"Unless I die and come back in a different body in which this filthy blood does not flow, I have no right to be with you."

Suicidal ideation(mild):

"By risking my life for others, I felt as if I could in some way become a slightly better person."

"I want to die defeating Muzan." (He's the only character that I know of that outright says this.)

He also kind-of expresses his feelings of being weak during the fight with Muzan:

"I've accomplished less in this battle than anyone! I wish I could deliver a more effective attack."

While this quote isn't exactly definite, a feeling of being weak, or being 'less of a man' is also a common experience shared by male sexual assault survivors.

The scar and It's symbolism

The scar is a physical manifestation of the lifelong effect that sexual abuse has on its victims and the stigma it carries. For Obanai, it's not just a painful reminder of the trauma he suffered at the hands of his family, but also a reminder to him that he's like his attacker, the snake demon. The bandages he wraps around his mouth symbolizes not just his attempts to hide his trauma, but also his inability to talk about it due to shame and fear, which is unfortunately an all too common experience of male survivors.

Another struggle survivors often experience is with intimacy, romantic relationships and sex. For Obanai, I believe that this struggle is represented by his eating disorder. The link between food and sex is a well established belief in many cultures, people with large appetites can be seen as having equally high sex drives while people with small appetites have little or no sex drive.

As he grows older, his little appetite is basically him curbing his growing sexual desire, which he sees as ugly, like the scar on his mouth. But the thing is Obanai wants love, he wants to love and be loved, to be intimate with another person, but he feels he doesn't deserve it, after all he's filthy, shameful and probably a predator just like the snake demon. So he starves himself, suffering in silence with the belief that he was disgusting, that no one would ever love him, that he was destined to and deserved to be alone.

Then he met Mitsuri.

In Conclusion, Obanai is way more complex than the KnY fandom gives him credit for. This is a man that went through immense suffering, and it's really sad to see people hate on him because he isn't 'nice'.

Well, that's just how life is. Trauma doesn't exactly make nice people. We can't all be like Giyuu or Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤), a lot of us are like Obanai, Sanemi, and even Shinobu, a lot of us are angry, and why shouldn't we be?

...

*Phew, ok so this one has been in the drafts for a while because I was scared to post such a dark subject matter and also I needed to be really sure I wasn't just talking out of my ass but after rereading his backstory and analyzing aspects of his character, I'm more confident about this.

[satsugacafe]

hi sweetie ♡

I really like ur works so

how do u think bleach men would react/comfort reader if they have eating disorder?

A/N: I didn’t think I’d have a hard time trying to place some of the tougher characters.

They would never overwhelm you with questions or pressure. Instead, they would offer soft, consistent care, making sure you eat something when you can, sitting with you in silence, learning quietly how to help without drawing attention to your struggle.

— Shunsui, Jushiro, Starrk, Kira, Hisagi, Toshiro

They would have a calm alertness about the situation. They’d confront it head-on—talking, researching, monitoring, even calling you out when needed—but always because they deeply care. They’d refuse to let you go through it alone, even if they had to fight you for your own wellbeing.

— Ichigo, Renji, Jugram, Bazz-B, Shinji, Kenpachi, Grimmjow

Would approach your eating disorder logically, often researching deeply or finding medical and emotional strategies to help. They’d seek practical solutions—meal plans, routines, triggers—treating the issue like a complex puzzle to solve with you at the centre.

— Kisuke, Askin, Byakuya, Aizen, Ulquiorra, Ryuken, Uryu

They’d pick up on your pain early, even if you hid it well. They would speak to your heart, gently offering emotional reassurance, and making you feel safe in your vulnerability. Their strength lies in how they make you feel understood without needing to explain much.

— Gin, Yhwach, Shunsui*, Jushiro*

[famousfive]

“Ich bin in den Wald gegangen, um nicht die ganze Zeit dran denken zu müssen, was für 'n scheiß Hunger ich hab.”

[yeetwinchester2]

Skipping Pt. 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x f!reader

Summary: Y/N had been struggling with her ED lately, but the team doesn't know that. Its getting worse... can she keep it from the team? Can she keep it from her mission partner?

Warnings: Eating Disorder(s), mention of passing out, angst, worry, some fluff

a/n: Yes! The long-awaited part 2!

-------------------------------------------

The morning following the incident, each member of the team asked you at some point how you were doing. Some even asked what had happened. Of course, you said it was nothing, that they just caught you off guard or that you weren't feeling well. But these excuses will only last so long. Another incident like this can't happen if you want to keep this from them. On the other hand, it made you feel good. Knowing that you were working so hard to look thin, and passing out meant you were pushing yourself.

Days go by, and with each one, you grow more worried that they know. Its all starting to add up, so you do little things to play it off better. Occasionally eating light snacks in front of others, or talking about what you “had for lunch.” Adding small details about your day, that will help cover it up.

---------------------------------------

"Has anyone else noticed something different about y/n?" Bucky says with some concern in his voice.

"She's probably just recovering after that mission. It really took a toll on her. We all feel a bit under the weather after a rough one." Tony replies.

"No, its not just that. I noticed it a little before the mission too. I don't know what it is, but something's not right." Bucky might not like her, but he knows her well. They go on almost every mission together. As much as he wishes it weren't true, the pair work well together and Steve was right. They are the best of the best. Her going down on that mission was out of character and has to be more than just 'feeling under the weather.' He's gonna figure it out. Bucky isn't sure why he feels such a need to figure out what's going on with y/n. He tells himself its for the betterment of the team, but is that all it is?

"We'll keep an eye on her. Don't stress it too much. I'm sure she's fine." Tony says reassuringly.

------------------------------------------

You're getting dressed to go down to the gym for a good workout. Looking in the mirror, you're motivated to change what you see. No matter how little you eat, how healthy it is, or how much you workout, it never seems to be enough. You're never thin enough. The only thing you can do is push harder. So, you put on a pair of basic black sweatpants over your leggings, and a matching sweatshirt over your long sleeve top. Maybe you should be sweating more. It wouldn't hurt to try. Covering up yourself helps too, so at least you don't have to see yourself.

You make your way to the workout room, starting with a leg workout to cut away at those thighs. Next is a core workout, because no one likes a stomach. Lastly, a nice treadmill run. The run really puts the cherry on top. You were feeling good until the last 400 meters of your 2 mile run. You were getting the good fuzzy, lightheaded feeling. the feeling that proves you're working hard. You make it to the end, nearly falling over, but proud of the workout.

Content with what you've accomplished, you make your way back to your room for a hot shower. But before you make it there, someone stops you right at your door.

"Hey, y/n. Can I talk to you for a second?" He says it firmly, as if it wasn't a question.

"Sure, what's up?"

"What happened during the mission? What made you fall out like that? That never happens." He keeps his voice firm.

"Oh, I just wasn't feeling well. I'm doing better. It was just a off day kind of thing." Just stay cool. You weren't feeling good. That's all it was.

"Y/n. We have been partners for a long time now. I know how you perform when you don't feel well. That wasn't it. We can't help you if you don't tell us what's going on." He seems genuine, speaking with softer voice this time.

"Really, Buck. I'm fine. Thank you for the concern though. I've go to get a shower now. I'll see you later." You push past him, making your way into your room. Now you're getting nervous. Bucky is catching on. Who else has noticed? Surely the others haven't noticed it. But what if they have? Do they care enough to say anything? No, its got to be fine.

--------------------------------------

In your bathroom, you lock the door. Turning on the hot water while you prepare for a hot shower. The kind that makes you dizzy and weak after a long day. You strip naked and pull out the scale from under the sink. Stepping on it, scared to see the number. You look down to see a number you're still unsatisfied with. Feeling defeated once again. You look up to see yourself in the mirror, picking at all the places you look too big. All the places you want to be thin.

Eventually, you step into the shower and wash the worries away.

--------------------------------------

Knowing that you were going to be in the bathroom for a while, Bucky took this as an opportunity to do some investigation on his own. He peeks into your room and verifies that you are in the bathroom and hears the shower water running. He steps into the room, quietly closing the door behind him. He knows this is intrusive, but its got to give him some idea of what is going on. He snoops around a bit, but only finds your regular day-to-day items. He gets to the opposite side of your bed, where he finds a small, pocket-sized journal laying in the bedside table. He opens it, to find your daily journal entries. Quickly closing it, he debates on what to do. This is your personal journal and this is private information, but this could also tell him what is going on. Maybe even how to help. He takes a seat on your bed, and opens the journal once more. He finds the days' entries before the mission, thinking this will be a good place to start, and begins reading.

--------------------------------------

You turn off the shower water, satisfied and complete with your shower routine. You step out and dry off with your favorite, most fluffy towel. You wrap yourself in the towel, then wipe down the foggy mirror to look at yourself once more. Still feeling defeated, you step out of the bathroom, ready to slip into pajamas and get into bed.

But instead of finding an quiet, empty room, you find the one and only Bucky Barnes reading your journal. The journal that no one but you has touched. The journal that you pour your heart and soul into.

You stand there, in shock. Who knows what he's thinking right now. Who's knows how much he's read, or what all he has read.

--------------------------------------

Bucky looks up at you, just as shocked as you are.

"Y/n.." He has tears in his eyes, but he doesn't get up from where he is sitting. He just looks at you with an expression you've never seen from him. "Doll, why haven't you told anyone?"

"You really shouldn't be in here right now. Let alone going through my stuff," you reply, walking to take the journal from his hands. You close it and stuff it in a drawer, away form him. He stands, slowly stepping towards you.

"I know what's going on, y/n. I noticed a while back, but you've just confirmed it for me." He points towards the drawer holding the notebook. He continues to ignore the lack of clothing on your body. It is the least of his worries at this moment. Your health and well-being matter more to him right now that seeing you with or without clothing. "I know I haven't been as kind to you as I should have. You've been nothing but good to me. This last mission made me realize that. Seeing you laying there, helpless, it hurt. Please talk to me, let me help you." The look in his eyes and the expression on his face is nothing like you've seen before. Except once. You saw this look on him once before, when he brought you back to the jet.

After so long of doing this alone and keeping this to yourself, you break. You bring your hands to your face to hid the tears that stream down. He wraps his arms around you, his rough hands on your back. You wonder what he thinks of you. You've always been fond of him for one reason or another. There's no telling what he thinks now. Is he disgusted? Does he think this is stupid? Does he see you now the way that you see yourself? All you get through the soft sobs is a quiet "I'm sorry."

"Darling, what're you sorry for? Let's get you some pajamas and then we'll talk." He pulls away, but leads you to sit on the bed. He steps to your closet, grabbing a set of pajamas, handing them to you. "I'll step out while you put these on. I'll be right outside, just come get me when you're done." His tough, rugged demeanor is long gone. This is a side of him you never knew existed.

To be continued...

-------------------------------------------------

A/n: Yes, I finally wrote a part 2. Will there be a part 3? Who knows. I did write this in one night, so forgive me if it isn't up to your standard and if there are typos. I hope you all enjoy. Let me know what you think!

Tags: @yve-barr , @hoseokslefteyebrow , @yoruse , @opheliabarnes , @bbymelsworld , @sketchygirlslipstickboys , @loki-laufeyson68m , @lovechuumorethanu , @that-girl-named-alex , @soggycheetoparty

[madi-writes-things]

Making The Bed (Johnie Guilbert X Reader)

Summary:

Pushing away all the people that know me the best…

Word Count: 1,415

TW: Passing Out, ED, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Self Deprecation, Self Destructive Thoughts and Actions, Avoiding Foods, Parties, Drinking, Johnnie Being a Supportive and Good Boyfriend, platonic!Jake Webber

A/N: this has been in my drafts for like three months. Sorry if it seems rushed or anything, I fell asleep halfway through writing it and finished when I woke up. 🫶

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV

I stand in the bathroom, obsessively typing the calories from the meal I just ate into the calorie counter that I promised I wouldn’t redownload. I didn’t mean for it to get like this again, but here I am. It just started as a few missed snacks, which turned into meals, and it all snowballed into daily weigh-ins and days with no food. I stop by the mirror for a moment, and I regret it immediately… the second I see myself, I feel my stomach churn.

The worst part of this is the lying to the people close to me… I don’t push them away on purpose, it just makes it easier. On days where I don’t see Johnnie much, I’m able to go the whole day without eating. I know that he’ll find out eventually, but I can’t let it be now.

In an ironic way I find it funny how people on the internet find out what you struggle with, and do their best to make it worse. The only reason that I started skipping snacks, was because people started commenting on my weight gain. It’s not the people who praise me for looking healthier, the issue is the people who spew my worst fears in the comments.

I know in the back of my head, that I will lose everything I’ve worked for if I don’t stay skinny. Johnnie won’t want me, Jake won’t chose me over him, Tara won’t want someone like me as a friend, my fans will get tired of me once I’m not interesting to look at, my family wo-

I hear Johnnie lightly knock on the bathroom door, pulling me from my doom spiral. “you okay in there babe?”

Shit.

I quickly wipe my face off, leaving no trace of the tears that were spilled. “Yeah! Be out in just a second.” Sometimes I wonder if he knows, and he’s happy that I’m losing weight. No. He’s not like that.

“”“”“”“”“”

I think Jake knows…

He stared me down after making me lunch. I think he was trying to see if I actually ate it. He made pasta, and I cried in the bathroom for thirty minutes after leaving the table. I saw him staring at me anytime we were in the same room after that.

Now I’m climbing into his car with Johnnie and Tara, headed to an influencer party. I’m wearing a cute Tank + Cropped Hoodie with skeleton hand’s bedazzled on the tits, and a pair of high waisted jeans. I knew that going out was a bad idea, but I have to stay under Jake’s radar… if he says anything to Johnnie, I’m done for.

I offer to be designated driver when we pull up, there’s no way I’m drinking tonight. One shot of vodka is nearly 100 calories, and vodka is the lowest calorie alcohol I’ve found. Everyone agrees pretty easily.

“”“”“”“”“”

The party has been going on for hours, and all of my friends were pretty tipsy at this point. I decided to go sit with Tara a little bit ago, and now we’re talking about her latest hookup. “He was literally so pretty… and his dick was huge!” She nearly falls over laughing at my reaction. I tell her I’m going to grab a water from the cooler, and find the guys so we can head out.

The second I stand up, everything goes blurry for a second. Shit. I don’t think I’ve had anything to eat since Jake made me, and that was like three days ago. I reach out and steady myself on Tara’s shoulder, as she asks if I’m okay. I mutter a quick yes, as I start walking away. It’s takes a second for my eyes to focus again, but most people just seem to assume I’m drunk.

Once I find the guys, we head out. My head is pounding, and all I want is to get home and go straight to bed. Once we finally get to our room, Johnnie holds me tight in his arms as we drift to sleep.

“”“”“”“”“”

The party was two days ago, and while I know I shouldn’t, I took advantage of everyone’s hangovers. I still haven’t eaten or drank anything other than water. Every morning I wake up lighter than the day before, and I’m not risking gaining any weight at this point.

Today is different, Jake and Johnnie are wide awake. The guys have been filming all morning, and they asked me if I wanted to join them in a video… I obviously agreed. I’ve missed my boyfriend, and I doubt he’d notice anything while we’re out at target.

“”“”“”“”“”

We stopped at three different targets before finding one that would let us film, totaling about an hour and a half of driving around. We’ve been walking around this target for a while, but the lights are too bright and I can’t seem to make my brain work hard enough to figure out how long.

I’m standing in the board game isle when it happens. I see Johnnie’s face fall when he sees me. “Babe, are you okay? You look really pa…” I don’t even hear the full sentence before everything turns to static.

“”“”“”“”“”

Johnnie’s POV

It all happens so fast. One second we’re laughing at something stupid, the next second Y/N has gone completely silent. “Babe, are you okay? You look really pale.” Then it happens. I watch as her eyes roll back into her skull.

Shit.

I barely move fast enough to stop her from hitting her head on the ground. “Jake! Go get some juice and a granola bar.” He practically drops the camera before breaking into a sprint across the store.

nononono… how long have I missed this? It all starts clicking into place… the long bathroom breaks after meals, the pulling away, the way she offered to not drink. Jake returns within 30 seconds, and Y/N starts to stir in my arms.

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV

Everything feels like static… I think my eyes are open, but I still can’t see anything. I reach up, and my hand graces something, it takes me a second to register that it’s my loving boyfriend. I mutter a quick apology, and I hear him talking to someone but it’s so muffled. I don’t know how long I lay there before I start to regain feeling in my body. I can’t tell if I’m shaking, but I feel like I’m having a seizure or something.

once I’m able to sit up on my own Johnnie hands me a juice box and a granola bar. I can see Jake sitting across the aisle, also sipping a juice box. They wait until I’m done with my snack before talking. “Baby, I need you to be honest… when is the last time you ate?”

Shitshitshitshit. “I had lunch with Jake.” I try to sound confident, but my voice is shaky. I see Johnnie look across the aisle at Jake, questioning whether I was telling the truth.

“Y/N… that was almost a week ago.” He looks at me with a nearly indecipherable expression, but I know it well. Pity. “Is that really the last time you ate?”

Seeing how worried my they are breaks me. I only allow myself to break down because we are in a fairly secluded area of the store. Johnnie pulls me into his arms, kissing the top of my head. We stay like that for a while before heading home.

“”“”“”“”“”

Three Months Later

That day was a massive wake up call. Johnnie let me take a nap when we got home, while I slept they assembled friends and family. When I woke up they held an intervention. They gave me the choice to Go to an inpatient treatment, or try to get better at home… I chose getting better at home, scared that nobody would wait for me.

That night we worked out a plan. Johnnie made me a meal plan full of foods that I felt safe eating, we threw out the bathroom scale, and we deleted the calorie counter. It wasn’t an overnight change, but I had amazing support from the people around me.

Johnnie is truly the man of my dreams. He never stops telling me how much he loves me, and reassuring me that he would never leave me. He is the reason I wake up in the morning, and I know that he will always be there.

“”“”“”“”“”

@unbruisable @bernardsbendystraws @sturniolo-fann @jnkvivi @stasiesturn

@h3arts4harry @slutforsturniolos

[smolandweirdwriter]

i have a problem that i like to call “i dont know when to eat unless my stomach hurts” and another very different problem called “i dont know when to stop eating unless my stomach hurts” and so i am in stomach hell at all times

[juliettse]

UTORAK, 15:42 - Skuhala sam nam nešto

[so-long-soldier28]

// tw: ed //

can we talk about how theo's probably developed an eating disorder as a result of being homeless and having no food security nor money, and when he does eat, he never knows the next time he'll be able to. and then can we also talk about how this would impact not only his mental health, but his physical well-being, and he wouldn't be able to fight or defend himself as well as his environment demands. his concern about being attacked at night in his truck with little strength makes it hard to sleep, on top of the nightmares. and when he fights alongside liam or the others, he has to overexert himself to not give away the fact that he's homeless, making him even more tired and more weak with every passing day.

[allisluv]

Hii I was thinking about finnick and reader when they are with her family and like someone tells her that she gained a little weight, that she needs to eat less and like they maybe give her less food than for the others. Finnick knows about her insecurities and is like really mad, but doesn't do anything except comfort her with like holding hands, his pretty smiles. But when things get worse, he finally says something and confronts her family. I don't know if he'll react really angry or will just say it with a serious tone. I love protective finnick with my whole entire heart💗 And he showers her with compliments and tells her how beautiful she is, that she shouldn't listen to anyone if she's healthy and feeling good in her body

-🎸

birthday — f.o’d

pairing: fem!reader x fiancé!finnick

content warnings: degrading comments about weight, shitty parents, discussions regarding food, protective finnick, readers birthday. this work may be triggering for people recovering from eating disorders.

word count: 1.1k

"You're gonna wear a hole into the carpet if you keep pacing, honey."

Your fiance's amused voice causes you to spin around on your heels. Finnick's strides are full of purpose as he heads towards you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling your back flush to his chest. "It'll be fine and if it's not, we can always kick your parents out and stuff our face with birthday cake. How does that sound?" He smiles into your neck, feeling your pulse point jump in erratic patterns. "It's going to be okay."

Turning to face him, you offer him a weary smile.

Finnick knows about your strained relationship with both food and your parents, which is why he was surprised to hear you had invited them over for your birthday dinner— well, they invited themselves, but you couldn't bear to correct him; regardless of the technicalities, it wouldn't change the fact that they were coming over. "Thanks," you peck his pink lips, winding your arms around his neck. "It means alot."

As if on cue, a knock echoes through your house in Victor's village. Finnick can feel your muscles tense underneath his hands and he's quick to rub soothing circles into the skin of your back. "Breathe," he reminds you, placing your hand over his heart so you can match the beats with your own.

Another knock sounds, this time more insistent, and you step apart. Wiping your damp palms in the fabric of your cream-coloured dress, you take a steadying breath, just as Finnick had instructed, and move to answer the front door.

Your father tugs you into his arms almost straight away. Over his shoulder, you can see your mother's condescending gaze dragging over the length of your body, lingering on your stomach.Finally, your father lets you go, and steps to the side for your mother to have a turn.

"Hi, sweetheart," she chirps, voice high-pitched and sugary. “Oh goodness, feels like someone needs to lay off the carbs a little!" She pinches at the skin of your stomach, laughing at your expense.

Finnick's reassuring hand comes to rest on your lower back, his palm squeezing gently, giving you a silent reminder that he's with you. It's such a small gesture but it makes the weight in your chest easier to carry. "Shall we sit down? Everything should be ready right about now. I’ll go check," you say, steering the topic away from choppy waters.

Your parents sit at the table, making quiet conversation together as you and Finnick work to get things ready in the kitchen. You're placing a tray of salmon down on the marble countertop when Finnick's arms wrap around your waist. "You don't have to put up with this, you know that, right?" His breath tickles the nape of your neck, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake.

You practically melt into his touch, leaning your head back until it's resting on his shoulder. "I know," you whisper, eyes drifting to your mother and father at the dining room table. "It's just for one evening.”

Finnick's not sure if you're reminding him or yourself with that statement, but he chooses to leave it as it is.

“If you're sure," he presses a chaste kiss to your forehead and leaves you craving his warmth when he pulls away to pick up a tray of vegetables.

Dinner passes as smoothly as expected. Your mother makes snarky remarks about how much you're eating and how Finnick will never be able to carry someone of your weight on your wedding day.

He offers your mother a tight-lipped smile, holding his tongue and clenching his jaw out of respect. He kisses the silver ring on your finger and squeezes your hand when either one of them say something particularly hurtful.

"Shall we have dessert?" Finnick asks, clapping his hands together. "I think it's time for the birthday girl to be spoiled rotton," he grins, pecking your lips.

Your mother leans forward on her elbows, a mean smile pulling at the corners of her lips. "If you ask me, I think someone needs to lay off the dessert."

Growing up in a hostile household gave you thick skin, and although you can handle your mother's sniping remarks, your bottom lip wobbles and that's Finnick's last straw. "It's a good thing no one asked you, then, isn't it?" He snaps, dropping your hand and crossing his arms over his chest.

Your mother pauses and it's as if Finnick has just leant across the table and smacked her across the face. "I beg your pardon?"

"You'll be begging for a lot more than my pardon if you speak to my fianceé like that again." He huffs, losing his patience (and quickly, for that matter). Your chest swells with pride when he opens his mouth and says, "You know what, she's too polite to say it, so I will. You need to leave." He stands to his feet, crossing the room in a few quick strides and holding open the front door. "Now."

Your father sneers at Finnick like he's shit on his shoe and your mother's burning hot glare slides across the table to you. "Do you want us to leave?"

Knowing that Finnick has your back is enough to build your confidence up. "I'd like you to leave now.”

Your mother throws her linen napkin onto the table and scrapes her chair across the hardwood mahogany floorboards. "Fine." She rushes out the front door, brushing shoulders with Finnick as she goes, and your father is quick to follow after her.

Once the front door is securely closed, you release a breath you didn't even realise you were holding in.

Finnick runs a hand through his golden locks of hair. "I'm so sorry if I overstepped, I just can't sit there and watch them tear you down when you're the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on. It just makes me so—“

You press your lips firmly against his, quickly and sufficiently shutting him up. His tongue slips into your mouth and your fingers rake up his back. Panting and heaving for breath, you break the kiss first, ignoring the desperate whine that escapes his throat. "I love you."

“I love you more," Finnick says. It's clear that you don't want to talk about it anymore and he's never been one to push you when you're not ready. “Why don't we fill our face with some of that chocolate cake and throw on my perfect girl's favourite rom-com?"

You smile, reaching up onto your tippy-toes to kiss his cheek. "That sounds perfect."

[quill-ting]

In February 2022 I was preparing for several months in an inpatient ward for treatment of an eating disorder. To give myself a distraction while I was in there, I pieced and prepared a quilt for handquilting. It was one of the first quilts I ever made, and I learned a lot during the process. All the prints I chose were food themed, because I thought (and stand by) the fact that it was funny.

The plan was to use a baptist fan pattern across the entire quilt. I made a mistake with the direction of the curves but rescued it as a border.

I left hospital unexpectedly alive, and with the quilt far from finished. And then it spent a year and a half in a cupboard. The fine quilting it required was so painful and damaging to my hands that the idea of working on it again made me sew literally anything else.

A few weeks ago, packing up my quilting things for an interstate move, I pulled it out again and wondered how I'd ever get it finished. And so I changed my plans.

I used big stitch quilting to work a different design while trying to highlight what I'd done. It was a reminder that I need to learn to find other ways of doing things. I am tired of harming my body to achieve things I feel I should want.

The quilt looks nothing like I thought it would. My body, my life and my future look nothing like I thought it would. And while my recovery is far from finished, I lived to see this quilt completed. And I am fucking proud of that.

[the-gilded]

Hi everyone, here's a bit of a life/progress update for everyone following. I wish I had more to share right now, but I hope there will be more coming soon.

I've posted several times that Chapter 2 is coming soon, and I really have wanted that to be true, but I haven't quite been able to bring myself to finish it. I did recently manage to finish drawing new official art for each of the ROs, so here's a little preview of that (sorry, I wish I was better at drawing consistently):

Also, if you want to hang out and/or watch me talk about games I love, you can find me live on Twitch sometimes:

http://www.twitch.tv/faedrian_

Further explanation/vent/plans below:

As far as why I haven't managed to finish writing Chapter 2, it's just because my life has been sliding downhill for a pretty long time now, and it's hard to find the motivation to write anything nice when I feel this bad.

I guess I noticed things getting worse last year, after I caught Covid in February. I was sick for about a month, got really depressed, lost a lot of weight, developed new complications with my endometriosis and my eating disorder got a lot worse. Around the same time, I realized that my relationship was beginning to fall apart. I've been with my partner for ten years, and it hasn't always been stable, but I've fought hard to keep us going together even when things got rocky. Last year, they decided that they needed to start cutting stress out of their life. That led to them breaking up with me twice - both times, I begged them to stay and keep working on our relationship. I was terrified by the possibility that they could just end our relationship and take my whole life away from me, forcing me to leave my home and lose everything I've built especially when I was at such a low point already.

A few weeks ago, they decided to break up with me again, and right now it's looking like it's for real this time - they signed a lease with some friends the day after breaking up with me, and decided that they would just leave me to fend for myself so that they wouldn't be burdened with the "responsibility" of caring for me any longer.

So, I'm currently facing down the reality that I will likely have to give up the whole life I've built up over the last seven years of us living together. I don't have anywhere to live here - all my friends and family are hours or even days away by car. I was in the middle of searching for a new job when the breakup happened this time, but now I guess I can't really take a job here if I'm going to have to move away. I can't afford to live on my own even with the new jobs I was applying for, and I wouldn't feel safe by myself either. I've always lived with my family or with my partner. I may be moving across the country in the next two months - going Northwest to live with some friends that offered to find a place together, and my best friend lovingly offered to pay my moving expenses. I have no money in the bank (in fact my account is overdrawn as I type this), so this is all very stressful right now. I'm hopeful that I'll find a way to work things out, to get myself settled, and to find the will to be productive with my games again.

As far as plans go:

I've been making plans to start up a Patreon and Discord once I have at least a couple months of content backlogged - it would include Beta reading access for The Gilded and my other game jam projects, BTS previews of some other, larger projects I'm drafting, monthly SFW and NSFW sketches and short stories as voted by the Patrons, and eventually a tier to get your OC written into The Gilded. If that's of any interest to you, let me know! I think it would be really good for me to see people engaging with my content again, and I could honestly use the motivation.

Thank you for reading this far, and thank you for following as long as you have. I still love and intend to finish this project, I just need to get through this dark place to find the light on the other side. 💜

[pyxaperson]

Final post about Adventure Time/Fionna and Cake for tonight, but I was rewatching episode 5 and I noticed that during the scene where Fionna, Cake and Simon are eating dinner with farm-world Finn and his family - Simon quite clearly doesn’t eat during the scene.

I didn’t really notice on my first viewing as we don’t really see any of them eat except for Fionna and Cake, but it’s still implied that they did. We see everyone around the table has bowls towards the end of Dinner except for Simon.

(Note: Cake’s bowl is not present because it’s in her hand. Fionna’s is possibly covered by Simon’s head. Jay, Bonnie and Finn don’t have bowls because Jay moved them to the sink)

This is especially odd considering that he was given a bowl before dinner started.

Now this could just be an animation error (it most likely is tbh), but it got me thinking about how Ice King’s weight changes throughout the series as his eating is heavily reliant on his mood.

It then reminded me that throughout the 6 episodes we have so far, Simon has only eaten one meal. That is the cereal he had for breakfast in episode 2.

Besides that, the only other time that he would have consumed something full-filling would be the coffee he makes in the same episode, but he doesn’t even finish that. In every other instance, he is seen a majority of the time drinking alcohol.

The lack of eating would be fine for the most part since it could just be summed up to cartoon logic, but we have also seen many instances of Fionna and Cake consuming full-filling foods and drinks (hot chocolates, sandwiches, soups etc.).

All of this made me realise that Ice King’s eating habits might not just be an Ice King thing, but something that originated from Simon. Idk.