#twinyards angst

[cupofmaddy]

just thinking about the emotional response twins have at being separated after birth. growing together in their mothers womb for nine months, close and moving and feeling. brains developing knowing nothing but the darkness and their mothers voice and their twin. always their twin. the separation is felt like a missing limb. do you think Andrew cried and cried and cried for his twin? did Aaron? did Tilda leave him to cry alone in his crib while she got high to quiet the wailing. Andrew bouncing between foster homes because their attempted love could not fill the hole. Aaron constantly missing something but having no clue what it was or how to find it, and discovering that drugs make the missing lessen for a while. both of them eventually believing that there is something inherently wrong with them because why is it never enough. and by the time they finds that missing piece, by some insane miracle, the damage is done. they'd wonder what it had been like if the roles were reversed but its a fleeting thought because in the end they were both doomed from the start to be dissapointed by everyone that was supposed to care for them.

[z0mbiemind]

Please don’t hate me 💕

The worst thing about making fanart like this is that you end up thinking about these scenes for hours 🥲

[xkissmeimirishx]

Do you ever think about how devastated Aaron was when he received that first letter back from Andrew telling him to go fuck himself?? He was so excited to have a brother, a TWIN and then said twin didn’t even want him. Except he DID. Andrew did want Aaron but he wanted him safe more than anything and if Aaron got too close to him that would put him in Drake’s direct path and Andrew couldn’t have that so he had to cut off all connection before that could become a possibility. Aaron had no idea Andrew wanted him just as badly and I’ll never recover I fear.

[crows-and-crumbs]

Will I ever stop drawing the Twinyards as kids? Probably not, but it will hurt every time! Anyways here’s some more angst, since I know it’s been a while since I drew anything, but this has been stuck in my brain for so long and I needed to practice action lines!

Yes they have matching black eyes, yes that’s Aaron’s letter Andrew is holding, no I’m not sorry.

[aceadoxography]

unable to stop thinking about the idea of aaron being under the assumption that both andrew and nicky knew how dangerous (and possibly fatal) it was for him to ride out his withdrawal locked in the bathroom. his relationships with them being influenced by the knowledge that they'd rather him dead than an addict.

and of course andrew finding this out in one of their sessions with bee, and having to admit he didn't know. and aaron has to reevaluate everything

[lakeshorediving]

*taps mic* what about an AU where Aaron isn't taken back in by Tilda and him and Andrew grow up in the system together until the age of 7-8 when they are forced apart, and they don't meet again until they are both recruited to the Foxes

[herbologygreenhouse]

Andrew hearing his own voice scream 'please' over and over again from Aaron locked in the bathroom

[viviandarkbloombartylusversion]

Aftg hunger games au where Aaron and Andrew are twins from different districts who don't know the other exists and have never met until they both get reaped for the same game

[wolf-saint]

"Mathematicians call them twin primes: pairs of prime numbers that are close to each other, almost neighbors, but between them there is always an even number that prevents them from truly touching. Numbers like 11 and 13, like 17 and 19, 41 and 43. If you have the patience to go on counting, you discover that these pairs gradually become rarer. You encounter increasingly isolated primes, lost in that silent, measured space made only of ciphers, and you develop a distressing presentiment that the pairs encountered up until that point were accidental, that solitude is the true destiny. Then, just when you’re about to surrender, when you no longer have the desire to go on counting, you come across another pair of twins, clutching each other tightly."

Paolo Giordano

[lesbiansfor-blackbeard]

thoughts of today: andrew making himself sit outside the bathroom door for days while aaron is getting clean and hearing his brother's voice- the same voice as his- beg for it to stop. his self-imposed penance for not protecting him sooner, the brother he didn't know about, protecting him the only way he knew how, by cleaning up the mess someone else has made of the person he loves. every time andrew warned nicky away from his predatory jokes and aaron backed him up.

aaron finally understanding why andrew hates the word please and can't talk to his brother for days in horror because he remembers begging andrew to stop and why is he doing this please just let him out and knowing that andrew never left the other side of the bathroom door and heard everything and consequently remembered everything. aaron remembering every time he slipped up in the beginning and thinking andrew was overreacting at the time but thinking now he was underreacting. aaron waking up from a nightmare, horrified that he's killed a man, but looking at his brother's bed, his brother awake and watching over them and thinking, "I'd do it again"

I don't know if this makes sense but yeah they mean so much to me

[whatwereyouthinkingaboutagain]

do you stay awake thinking about when nora said when the twins leave columbia aaron is the first to reach out and andrew is the last to let go or are you normal

[yourleftpinkytoe-blog]

Am I the only one who thinks that part of the reason that Andrew is so opposed to getting close to Aaron is because of how Drake used threats on incest against him. His first introduction to Aaron was tainted by drakes sick fucking fantasy’s and i genuinely think that if that hadn’t happened they would’ve bonded a whole lot sooner.

Just a thought.

[stabbyfoxandrew]

okay so, upon thinking about it, this is how the twin switch (horrible bad edition where luther confuses the twins and sends aaron upstairs into drake's arms instead of andrew) would go:

-

aaron goes to get smth from the kitchen for maria and luther follows him, tells him there's something for him upstairs. a couple minutes later luther is back at the table and aaron is not.

"did my brother get lost?" andrew asks.

"no. he went upstairs." luther puts his glass down.

"and why would he do that?"

"we arranged a reunion with one of his old foster brother-"

no. no. no.

andrew is up and out of his chair in a heartbeat. he hears footsteps following behind him but wastes no time getting up the stairs. he tries the doorknob but it's locked and fuck it's gonna take too long to pick, it-

neil is there. he has a look on his face that andrew doesn't like but he doesn't even question why andrew needs to get inside. after gesturing for him to back up, neil's foot goes through the door right by the knob and he shoves his hand through the hole to unlock it. andrew shoves the ruined door open and rushes inside to a scene from several nightmares.

his twin on a bed, drake standing over him.

andrew moves on pure instinct, grabbing drake by the neck and yanking him backwards. drake's head thunks against the wall and it's not enough to kill him (later, andrew decides) but aaron is there and bleeding and-

"get out." andrew says to neil. "and keep them out. i will kill any and everyone who comes into this room."

neil moves backwards to the doorway and keeps his eyes on drake, funnily enough. he doesn't look at aaron, he doesn't look at andrew. "do we call an ambulance or not?"

andrew turns a snarl on him.

"not for him. for aaron." neil specifies. "is he... hurt?"

"call it. tell them to send a pig too." andrew tells him and neil immediately goes to stand in the hallway with his phone at his ear.

"andrew?"

andrew's eyes snap back to his twin, looking at him with a confused squint. there's blood trickling down his face onto his shirt. his pants- andrew lets out a breath of relief. aaron's belt is undone, jeans unzipped. but that's as far as he got.

because andrew was fast enough.

"it's alright." andrew says. and it is, mostly. because he was fast enough. "it's going to be alright. you just got hit in the head."

"with what?" aaron sits up groggily, leaning to one side. andrew steadies him and glances down at the floor.

"a bottle of whiskey it seems." andrew holds up his hand. "how many fingers?"

"three." aaron says with a groan. then he squints down at the body in the floor. "who's that-"

"nobody."

"andr-"

"no. be quiet." andrew glances over at the door. "ambulance neil, where is it?"

"on the way." neil says. then he shushes kevin in the hallway. "the 'reunion' didn't go as planned. there's a body in there. you don't wanna see it."

"a body?!" nicky shrieks. "andrew what did you do?"

always my fault, andrew thinks bitterly.

"he's not dead yet." andrew says. probably. if he is, good. if he's not, andrew will finish it later.

aaron blinks heavily and looks down at his lap, at his undone belt, before raising his gaze back to andrew, eyes wide. "what did... andrew?"

there's a rasp of breath behind him and he turns to see drake's eyes start to open. andrew kicks him in the face and grabs aaron, hauling him up by the arm.

"we're relocating now." andrew leads aaron to the bathroom across the hall and sits him on the toilet lid, locking the door behind them and letting neil field questions. from neil's look, he knows exactly who drake is and what he's done. for neil's safety, he'd better not mention it.

in the bathroom andrew doesn't say a word, neither of them do. andrew just holds a washcloth against his brother's temple as aaron struggles to re-buckle his belt. finally, he hears sirens approaching from the distance. he looks out the bathroom window, ripping the lace curtain down in the process, but can't see the ambulance yet.

"he thought i was you." aaron says suddenly, with a disturbing amount of clarity. his eyes are huge and his pupils uneven and andrew doesn't know what to say to that. drake had no preference. he'll never tell aaron that. "andrew?"

"it's quiet time. you have a concussion." andrew says, tapping his finger against aaron's head. it makes him wince.

there's a knock on the door. "andrew, they're here."

"good." andrew looks back at aaron. "do you want a gurney or can you handle the stairs?"

"andrew-"

"just answer the fucking question."

"i can walk."

"alright. let's go." andrew opens the bathroom door and sticks his head out into the hall. only neil remains, standing between the bedroom door and here. he looks over his shoulder.

"he hasn't moved in a minute but he's breathing."

andrew grunts at him and keeps an arm around aaron's shoulders on the way down the stairs. the peanut gallery is in the living room, kevin and nicky sitting on the couch. kevin's texting someone, likely wymack. and maria is opening the door for the EMTs to come inside.

andrew rides in the ambulance with aaron, fills out his forms, and sits in the waiting room while a doctor looks aaron over. it's a concussion, andrew knows. but it couldn't have been too bad, he was lucid enough to figure drake out. andrew's phone rings and he's not surprised at the caller ID.

"what the hell happened?" asks wymack as soon as andrew accepts the call. "i've talked to kevin, nicky, and neil and none of those assholes has a clue."

neil definitely does. but he didn't say. good for him.

"mm. above your paygrade coach." andrew flips his phone shut and leans back in his chair until his head hits the wall.

he was fast enough.

[glendover]

this silly little kevaaron fanfic I’m writing turned out to be a serious and long kevaaron fanfic, to no ones surprise

[lakeshorediving]

An AU where the twinyards don’t meet until even mater in life— as in after college where everything from Andrew’s end goes almost the same minus Aaron and Nicky being in his life. He still makes it Palmetto, still meets Kevin and Neil and goes pro. Aaron on the other hand becomes a nurse (I have my reasons for this) never goes to Palmetto, and they only meet because one injured Neil Josten ends up on his unit. Aaron is about at his wits end because Pro Exy player Neil Josten (whoever that is because Aaron doesn’t follow Exy), who is on a lot of pain meds, keeps calling him Andrew and Aaron is about 5 seconds away from making the on-call resident very upset by requesting another CT scan of Josten’s head because surely his brain is scrambled. There’s nothing more that Aaron wants than to go home and fall face first into bed which is of course when his charge nurse walks up to him with a sheepish look, nearly begging him to stay another 4 hours because his relief’s kid is apparently sick and she can’t come in until 11am, which makes Aaron want to die so naturally he agrees, which means another 4 hours of Neil Josten at the end of his shift hooray.

And so of course Neil Josten calls him “Andrew” once more while Aaron is checking his IV (note: it’s now visiting hours), and Aaron, exhausted and cranky and just had to dodge a bedpan being thrown at his head, feels his eye twitch violently as he politely (read: thru clenched teeth) reminds Pro Exy Player Neil Josten once again that he is not Andrew—

Which is when another voice pipes up from the doorway, fresh scent of coffee in the air that nearly has Aaron salivating, who says “correct, you are not Andrew. I am.”

And Aaron turns around to see his mirror image standing in the doorway.

[crisisthegirl]

i need my fellow aaron kinnies to raise their fucking hands higher because please we need the support.

like this man is just so- please he just wants love, love, love, real love.