#uhm also... we wanted to say... do not get spooked

[furiarossa]

Danny Runner - Updates

Update #2 for the Danny Runner website! A lot of characters are still missing (there are a lot that we have to re-design and upload, yup), but we updated the info, a lot of links, some worldbuilding and... uh... there are a couple of technical issues, but you could start to enioy the site too!

Also, since we explore it through the screen of a laptop, if you have a tablet or a smartphone, could you please tell us if the stuff is visible and if links work? Thanks in advance!

[moonrisecoeur]

IM BACK CUZ IM MENTALLY UNWELL OK. and yes you’re the best sub Leon writer 😏🥱 and yes I liked it, SITTING ON HIS FACE? 😍🥱

I’m so sorry for blasting ur req box but YOURE AN ACTUALLY GOOD SUB LEON WRITER SO can you blame me? concept: idk why but re4 Leon is so free use coded and so imagine he is on a mission with a new assigned partner but she’s an asshole to him (“fuck off man, I can do it myself, “I don’t need your help”, “you’re too nice and gonna be taken advantage of 😐”, etc. You get the gist) and his goofy ass just tryna be nice and helpful, cuz this is leon we are talking about. But the fun part ⁉️ they have cameras installed in the hideout they are saying at for security purposes. But ofc, Leon always tries to check on reader to make sure she’s ok - even if she’s an asshole to him. AND YK WHAT READER DOES 😭 she’s way too horny and just goes at it, girl got a masturbation problem on god. Every night. One night - wrong time and place - Leon opens his laptop to see the cameras making sure she’s ok AND HELP HE SEES HER … yk. And he feels guilty like he shouldn’t watch but he does anyways. And this goes on for weeks. Until one night he’s sick and tired of her always being so mean and he accidentally lets it slip that he’s been watching her LOL AND SHES LIKE UHM BOY WHAT 🙄⁉️ and he tries to play it off like “I didnt mean to” but like, my brother in Christ… you’ve been watching every night for weeks 🤨 wdym you didn’t mean to? ANYWAYS LONG STORY SHORT SHE PUNISHES HIM AND HEAVYYYY ON THE FREE USE THING. Love you bae 😘

i made a couple minor changes just for convenience :) fem reader she/her pronouns!

also i didn’t write the smex scene IM SORRY but i have been working on this all day and i need to get to other asks but i promise i’ll write some more free use in the future because it’s so smexy

-

"look, i know you don't like me-"

"oh? really? tell me what you think you know, kennedy," you scowl at him, and though it spooks him just a little, he tries to seem unphased.

he frowns, not hurt by your words but definitely concerned that you'll make a bad partner, "you don't need to be this hostile. we're allies. we're supposed to have each other's backs."

"right..." your voice echos, and leon knows that if it came down to it, you wouldn't protect him, wouldn't save him, would barely help him. he's practically on his own for this mission, just has an extra body with him to shoot at the bad guys.

it hurts, to some degree, because even without knowing you well, and even with you being cold and rude to him, he knows he'd come to your rescue in a heartbeat. something about him feels fond of you, even though in your entire time knowing leon kennedy, you haven't said one nice thing to him.

he thinks that maybe he likes that you've never been nice to him. he doesn't really know what to do with that thought.

-

leon is proved wrong.

despite the harshness of your words, you come to his rescue, fighting off the villager who almost decapitated him with an axe like both of your lives depend on it (because they do).

he watches you fight nervously, but when you come out on top, aside from the gash wound you take to the hip, he feels his heart skip a beat.

"this is what happens when you hurt my partner," you groan, holding your side, trying to speak through the pain even though leon can see the blood seeping between your fingers.

you whisper something in your victim's ear, something leon can't quite make out, before you kill him. leon wonders what it was briefly. he decides it doesn’t matter.

you both breathe a sigh of relief, but it's short lived as you collapse to the ground. you saved him. you got hurt saving him.

"here, let me help you," he mutters, coming over to you, not even stopping to ask if you want his help because he knows you'll say no, "stop fighting me. you're hurt and i need to patch you up."

the pain is agonizing, but even through gritted teeth and tense breaths, you push through it. he has to commend you a little bit, you're tougher than you look.

but when you try to push his hand away, claiming "i'm fine, kennedy," he sees the struggle in your face, hears the hurt in your voice. his heart seems to stop. he's worried, "i can do it myself, you don't have to- fuck, dude, i don't need your help-."

"-just relax, okay? i got you..”

you don't have the strength to push him away, but you know you shouldn't anyway, so you just slouch back against the wall and try to breathe, "fine, just fuckin... hurry up."

"i'm just trying to take care of you. we're partners, right? i gotta look out for you," he smiles, trying to lighten the mood even slightly. he wishes that this would be the time the barriers come down, that those skyscraper walls that prevented him from coming any closer to you emotionally could come crashing down, if only for a moment.

"you don't have to do anything. you're choosing to put yourself in danger to help me," you groan as you lean back, looking up at the ceiling, "suprised that no one's tried to take advantage of your willingness to help before."

"someone did," he mutters annoyedly, focusing more on the wound then it being your wound, on your body. his eyebrows, almost naturally furrowed from years of stress, somehow make his face even more sad to gaze upon. it's not that he's unattractive, far from it, but he's... worn. tired. a piece of your heart, no matter how far you keep away from him, aches in sympathy.

-

leon carries you back to the safe room, a hideout you both are using to rest and recover in while you plot your next move. he lays his jacket on the ground to at least give you something comfortable to lie on. you don't look comfortable, but he can't do anything else to help you.

he looks through his things, trying to concoct something that will at least make you feel a little bit better. he finds a first aid spray, and his heart jumps out of his chest in excitement. he uses it to take care of your wound, and waits for you to wake up from your unconscious state.

he decides to go back out, hoping to maybe find some other things to help you both on your mission. he knows you'll berate him for leaving on his own, risking his own life needlessly. but god if he didn't imagine what it would be like if he found something you could really use, and watch your eyes light up. even if you didn't like him, you'd be happy. he wants to see you smile, to praise him for a job well done.

he cringes at how pathetic it sounds, but he sets off either way, leaving you wrapped in his jacket with a note from him saying what he's doing.

-

he doesn't do it intentionally. at least... not the first time. genuinely, he just wanted to check up on you, make sure you were alive and breathing and safe. and you definitely were.

he doesn't know why its so hypnotizing, why he can't put his goddamn phone away with the stupid security app on it. of course it's you, though. you're hypnotizing.

he watches every pixel, every distorted view of you touching yourself in the safe room, obviously unaware that he could... see this. he's glad there's no audio, or else he'd be unable to control himself, even in an abandoned building surrounded by zombies. maybe its the years that haven hardened him, burned the fear out of his soul and numbed him to the presence of those things, but he doesn't feel anything but uncontrollable desire right now.

have you been doing it the whole time? you both had spilt off from each other multiple times, and he would almost be upset at the idea that every time he was fighting for his life and barely, barely winning that fight each time, you were getting off a couple hundred feet from him in another room... if it wasn't so fucking hot to watch you masturbate.

he keeps watching until he notices that you're having an orgasm, body twitching and your chest heaving up and down as you take deep breathes. it's so fucking sexy, leon probably could have cum on the spot if he watched anymore.

-

you keep doing it. he keeps watching it. over the course of the mission (of course he had to be stuck on a long, secluded recon mission with you of all people) he's watched you too many times. he doesn't think he has enough fingers to count how many times, which either means he's been on this mission longer than he thought or you have a fucking addiction. he's almost kind of impressed at how efficient you are. takes you 10 minutes tops, and then you just get back up and keep on trucking? his sentimental, post-nut ass could never.

and, though you recovered from your wound, you haven't displayed any sense of gratitude for leon taking care of you when you passed out after getting hurt. not that he expects it, truthfully. you saved his life, he saved yours. you were even.

he just doesn't feel like he's broken any new ground. he feels like, if anything, you feel even further away, emotionally. he's about had it.

"hey, we need to talk," he says, ominously; he doesn't intend it to be so, "i understand you don't like me. it's fine. i don't even care anymore. but i am tired of you talking to me like i'm a pushover."

you look over at him, reloading your gun with a displeased look on your face. leon hates the inner urge he has to cave and apologize to you, as if his body would rather give up any sense of dignity he still has in favor of being slightly more tolerable to you.

"well? are you going to say something?"

you scoff, looking away, "didn't know you were so fucking sensitive, kennedy," and you turn around, ready to walk out, before he snaps, "this isn't a pleasure trip. sorry you're not having a good time."

"clearly you're having a good time with all the pleasure you're giving yourself while i'm trying not to die."

he stops. panicking. trying to think of how to spin the words he just said and make it not sound like he knew every tell you had when you were about to cum or exactly how you touch yourself in order to get yourself off quickly.

you stop as well. and you look back at him with this expression on your face that is completely unreadable.

maybe it wasn't the best move to reveal the only card he had left to play if it mean he would get this reaction out of you considering that, again, you so clearly do not like him.

... right?

"what... did you say, kennedy?" you ask, pure venom in your voice. it's not a question, you so clearly heard him correctly.

"i- i'm sorry, i didn't mean to say that-"

"have you been watching me?" you take a step closer, eyes boring into his soul so intensely he can't make eye contact. he has no way out of this situation. he feels out of breath, nervous, god why are you getting so close to him? "answer me, leon," not kennedy, leon, "have you been watching me masturbate?"

he looks up, trying to keep himself from making eye contact. he knows the second he looks into your eyes, he will be putty in your hands, free for you to mold into whatever you'd like. he knows you're not looking at him with distain like usual, it's something else.

something hungry.

"yeah," he breathes, barely getting the world out at all. you take a deep breath, as if you're debating what you're going to do.

"what you did was wrong, you see that, right?"

"yes, i know, but-"

you scoff, annoyed. god why in this moment, just inches away from you, you notice the moles on his neck, the angle of his jaw, the entrancing aura of his eyes. it's so damn distracting, and you have to pull yourself together, "but nothing. you watched me without my consent, you got off on it, didn't you?"

"god, you're making it sound so bad, i... i'm sorry, okay? how can i make it up to you?" he asks, trying so damn hard as always to please.

this is where you come to realize that maybe you didn't hate leon kennedy all this time. maybe you found yourself too comfortable, too at ease in his presence. maybe he was safe and sweet and gentle and it didn't sit right because nothing in a world with zombies and bioweapons and cults and parasites was gentle. but leon is.

you look down, considering your options, "i have an idea. you're free to refuse and we go back to before, and you get nothing from me. do you want to hear it?"

"sure?"

you take a breath, going for it, "i’ll be… blunt. if you couldn’t tell, i’m a bit.. insatiable. i need something to get myself off now that i’m getting bored of my own hands out here. you help me, and i’ll forgive you for watching me.”

his thoughts stop. he genuinely can’t put together a coherent thought, what did you mean? "are you.. are you fucking serious? you barely speak to me, every time you do speak to me you act like i'm the scum of the earth, you act like i'm not here when i saved your ass and carried you and patched you up, i-”

you cut him off with a kiss. it’s not gentle, it’s rough and messy and your fingers dig into the skin of his cheeks, leaving him red and breathless. he finally gets it. you don’t want him to help you, you want to use him.

he lets you push him down, pin his body to the wall as you kiss him breathless. he lets you dig your nails into his neck even if it hurts. he lets you touch and kiss him as rough or as gentle as you like. and you don’t like being gentle, clearly.

“use me,” he whispers between kisses, and when you pull away, eyeing him intently, as if urging him to explain himself, he does, “do whatever you want. just keep going until you’re satisfied. don’t… don’t hold back. whatever pleases you… i want that. i want to please you.”

“awh, you just want me to be happy with you, don’t you?” you coo at him, endeared by his selflessness. truly a good man in a bad world, “that’s all you’ve ever wanted, hm? for me to like you?”

his resolve cracks just a little bit more, “uhm, yeah…” he his voice is shaky, unsteady, and he just needs to give in.

“then you’re going to let me do this every single time in horny and need something to get myself off. i’m going to do whatever i want to you, and i’m not going to ask. you’re just going to let me. if you don’t, then we go right back to being enemies, and you really don’t want that, right?”

he stutters aimlessly, his knees going weak. he’d truly be done for if you weren’t hold him up with a strength he did not know you had.

and you just keep going, “i’m not going to ask or care if it’s a bad time. i want it to be inconvenient, uncomfortable, ill-timed. i want it to be permanently in your head that i can have you whenever i want you. that i can do whatever i want to you.”

“only i get to have you, got it?”

“g-got it,” he mutters weakly, feeling your hands on him, touching him in places he hasn’t been touched in a while. he didn’t realize how desperate he was.

“only i get to touch you, only i… get to fuck you.”

he nods helplessly.

“it’s too bad i didn’t bring a dildo in my bag when we set off for this mission, because i would so fuck you with it until you’re seeing stars and apologizing for going behind my back… but i suppose i’ll just have to satisfy myself with your cock…”

[rottenstrawberrymilk]

13. THERES SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU

HATCHET

13/16

4k words

  Just because you had the astronomically worst night of your life doesn't mean you can all out of work, unfortunately. And to be fair, you thought you'd already had the worst night of your life. Over and over again. But this one certainly takes the cake. Lucky you for getting put so frequently on the schedule this week. Either way, not an excuse to call out. What are you supposed to say? What are you supposed to do? You could play sick, perhaps? 

        No. What's the point in that? It just means you'll be forced to stay in this room all alone with nothing to do but worry and stress. It's better that you just try to go about the little boring, grey, mundane life you've crafted for yourself. A routine. The routine will save you. It'll make you feel not crazy and empty and hollow. Just for a little bit. 

        It seems like the universe is trying to balance out the bout of awful luck with yet more good luck -- you work alone today. Which means you don't have to pretend to be okay and you don't have to pretend like you care about all this stupid fucking small talk. And it also means no one's gonna get up your ass about why you look so...so spooked and disheveled. You'd gotten that question before after your weeks of being kept up by night terrors. It'd been too hard and painful to answer and had just lead to an uncomfortable, awkward silence between you and the co-worker. 

        "Are you okay?"

        Such an unreasonably hard question to answer. Better that it isn't asked at all. And if it is, better you never hear it.

        You'd tried so many times to look presentable in the mirror this morning before leaving. It doesn't work. Nothing ever works. It's just something in your face you've learned that you can't get rid of, no matter how hard you try. No amount of makeup or styling or trying something new works. Because you can still see it--that haunted, faraway, gaunt look. You've come to just accept it. People just assume you're tired. They're right in a way. 

        As you walk, there's no sight of Him.

        That is not a relief. You imagined you'd at least catch a glimpse of Toby through the window. Maybe a flash of his jacket or hair disappearing around a corner. The lack of his usual antics makes you more and more nervous. He's unpredictable still. The suspense of not knowing where exactly he was could be thought as considerably worse than being cornered in a room with him. 

        Did he leave town?  you'd wondered.

        Once you got off of your shift, your question was answered. 

        Toby's standing off to the side of the cafe, on the sidewalk, slouched near an alley wall with his hands in his jacket pockets. You notice you can't see the hatchet handles protruding from beneath the parka. Toby? Without his hatchets? Like a forest with no trees. Or a night sky without stars. You'd never seen him without at least one. His head lifted as he caught a glimpse of you. He raised a twitchy hand in a quick wave. He doesn't seem nearly as...violent today. 

        Against your better judgement, you walk over to him.

        "Uhm. Hi?" you greet him, more as a question than anything else.        

        "Hey," he replied awkwardly. "W-we should talk. I think. I-if you want to. I wo-won't make you." 

        Why's he being so nice to you all the sudden? It almost reminds you of the times before he went utterly fucking batshit. Almost. Now it just comes across as suspicious. Like he's trying to get you to lower your guard for some reason. You still don't trust him all the way. Why the hell would you? Also, HE BURNED DOWN YOUR HOUSE.

        You bite the inside of your cheek before heaving an exasperated sigh. "Fine. Walk with me though. I wanna get home before it gets dark out." 

        He can barely contain the joy rising in his chest. Obviously, he stays stone-faced to the best of his ability on the outside, instead giving you a curt nod. Yeah, that's appropriate. As he positions himself at your side, pulling away from the alley wall, his mind wanders, just a little. Are you scared of the dark? Maybe he should have brought his hatchets...he can't protect you from the dark but he can certainly do away with anything that might be lurking in it. He hopes you know that. 

        Based on the grim look on your face now is not the time to give you a reminder.

        Toby follows quietly alongside of you. Lucky for you, no one in this town seems to notice you walking with the strange man with the glasses and mask. The town was mostly dead today anyways. It's a little cold out too. A perfectly dreary little evening. A breeze passes by you and you grip your bag harder, lips tightening slightly. Toby notices. His eyes have been fixated on you the entire time. Almost unblinking. You hadn't talked yet. Maybe you still feel scared of him? He tries to be more friendly.

        "D-do you want my ja-jacket? It's chilly-"

        "Shut up."

        He does, continuing to walk quietly alongside of you as you navigate your way over cracked, neglected sidewalks and roads with fading lane markers. Kinda counterproductive to the whole "walk and talk" thing you'd proposed earlier. You instantly felt bad after snapping at him. Wait, why do you feel bad? He terrorized you for weeks! And burned your house down! Do you just not remember? It'd been so easy to think of all the ways you'd scream at him. All the shit you wanted to throw at him--all the things you'd do in self defense, biting, scratching, stabbing, hitting, whatever it took to protect yourself. You thought of all those things you'd do if he ever showed his fucking face to you ever again.

        But now he's really here in front of you--well next to you...and you suddenly don't feel like doing any of those things. 

        He just makes you...sad. Like he's a constant reminder of how you're just a failure. Of how you can't even make friends with someone without them being a psycho ax murderer. There's something wrong with you isn't there? Deep down inside there's something very wrong. Why else would this keep happening to you? Why else would fate tangle you so horribly with someone like him? What did you do to deserve that kind of punishment? 

        "Sorry," you say, sounding a bit strained as your arm goes to wrap around yourself. Damn wind. "Just...just talk. I don't understand. I don't understand anything. So...try to make me. Tell me everything. From the beginning. So I can make up my mind at least." 

        Make up your mind about him. 

        The stakes are high, he quickly realizes.

        "Well..." Toby starts to shift his jacket off, "It all started when my m-mom me-met my dad. And when t-two people luh-love each other ve-" He cuts himself off, stopping when he sees how suddenly tired you look. You didn't react to his stupid little attempt at a joke at all. He'd just been trying to lighten the mood. He feels awful.

        And realizes that maybe not everything deserves to be handled with a light mood. And that maybe what you want from him is the truth, no matter how hard it is for him to say. And how dark and terrible and awful it might be. 

        "S-sorry." He apologizes as quickly as he can. "I'm-I'm trying to be seri-serious about thi-is now, honest. I..." Toby trails off again. Where the hell is he supposed to begin? While he thinks for a moment, Toby goes to put his jacket over your shoulders. You flinch a little when he gets near you, which makes him feel way, way worse. When he speaks up again, his voice is smaller, even more muffled behind the mask. 

        "I just wanna se-see you smile again. I miss-uh-missed it." His neck jerks to the side a little, into his shoulder. His jaw clenches, tearing off the last parts of his sentence. He fought momentarily to straighten his head again. 

        It takes a second to get used to him again. To get used to his mannerisms. And you hate to admit it, but they feel so oddly familiar. You'd mistake them as "comforting" if you were stupid and sentimental. Which you aren't. At all. 

        You don't immediately take off the jacket and throw it back at him like he imagined you would.

        That makes Toby feel a teensy weensy less fucking awful. Like there's a weight being slowly lifted off his heart. A soft sigh comes from him. You won't talk back. You won't feed in or engage. And you won't leave him a choice to wiggle out of this. He doesn't want to talk about it. He doesn't want to tell another soul about how he can't seem to get back inside of his own brain and body anymore. About how he can't control himself sometimes and how it feels like he's drifting farther and farther away. Like an astronaut from the ship, reaching out, line cut and floating in black space. No way back.

        It's scary. Even to him.

        What if it scares you off? He's not stupid. Toby knows something's wrong with him. He always has. But now it's getting worse than ever before. And there's absolutely nothing he can do to fucking stop it. But he can do one thing, he realizes, as his dark eyes meet your own. He can confide in you. You'd invited him to.

        Under you expectant gaze, he caves. Through stammers, Toby told you that he couldn't remember much. The years fade the already deteriorating memories worse than usual. He says he remembers the smell of gasoline. He remembers the glow of flames. He knows he did it--he burned your house down. You already know that, obviously. He says he thinks he was looking for you. Appropriately so, you'd asked him why he'd have to burn the house down with you potentially inside to do it.

        What a terrifying thought.

        Toby's voice grew smaller and harder to completely understand.

        He admitted he was probably trying to smoke you out. But you never actually did come out.

        "I th-think I thou-ought I killed y-y-yu-y-" Toby stops himself, clasping a hand over his mouth. A sharp breath sucks in through his gloved fingers. He couldn't get the word out. Not even if he tried his damned hardest. It's a simple one syllable word. But it's one he doesn't want to say. Like speaking it into existence would make it reality. Like he was delivering his own prophecy to be fulfilled. 

        You just look puzzled now. "Then why were you-how did you find me? I mean, why bother looking? If...if you thought I was dead? That doesn't line up at all." 

        You're not trying to catch him in a lie or anything. You're just genuinely confused. His lack of coherency, or at least the way he tried to explain the lack of coherency to his thoughts and memories, gave you a better idea of how bad his condition had been. And for him to have been going through what you could only describe as being an episode of acute psychosis, all alone...for that long? You know he's never quite been right in the head. Even when you'd first met him he wasn't right. But he'd held a decent degree of clarity--he'd been "okay", for a lack of better word. And he'd been doing well with you around. Improving even. 

        Suddenly, you feel very guilty. And you fucking hate that. You're not sure where you want to place that hatred yet.

        For what it's worth, Toby seems confused too. Not knowing what else to do, he continues on.

        "I. I don't know. I wi-wish I did. But I was telling myself-telling myself that you went on a...on a business trip. I-I think. Or a se-semester abroad may-aybe? The story was ne-eh-ever the same. I waited for a few years." His eyes suddenly light up, in extreme contrast to his dark confession. "Oh! I made y-you a welcome home gift too, I think!"

        Toby reached into the jacket pocket on your right side and pulls out what you can only describe as being a bundle of sticks loosely tied together with rope frays to resemble what you think was supposed to be you. There's a narrow, little etched face on it. Four grooves. Two shorter ones for the eyes, one for the nose, and the bottom one for a little smiling mouth. It is quite possibly one of the most terrifying things you have ever seen in your life. 

        Eventually, you speak. "I...I don't have the words." 

        "Awww, you can ke-keep it. Don't worry." Toby offers it to you. Upon seeing the look of abject horror on your face, he pulls it back with a slight tilt of his head. "I'm kidding. I know i-it's fucking weird. I dunno why I bro-brought it along." Toby stuffed it back into the jacket pocket. He does not throw it away. You're not sure how to feel about it being on your person at the moment.

        The stupid doll means something to him. Even if he can't remember making it. 

        You cleared your throat. "What after? How'd you know where to find me?" you press on. 

        His delusions are...well, just that. Delusions. Unexplainable, irrational, beyond all rhyme and reason. There's no use pestering him about them. And it does match up with his babbling from before about you being on a business trip. Not that there's much consistency to the lies that have ensnared his mind. But you still have unanswered questions. This town was miles away from the other one. He couldn't have just randomly guessed and gotten here by lucky chance alone. There was another player involved--there had to be. And you want to know who, or what it is. 

        At your pushing you see him chew the inside of his cheek. You see his mouth shift slightly--he's going to bite at his lips again. Your hand cautiously grabs at his forearm. Toby stops. A soft exhale comes from him. His voice is suddenly much more hushed behind the fitted gaiter. 

        "Not out here. I-in there." He gestures his head gently in the direction of your motel, more towards the door of your room as the two of you cross the run down parking lot. 

        "I don't know if I want you in my room again with me, Toby," you say cautiously.

        Toby shakes his head. "I-I ca-can't ssuh...say it ou-out..." He swallows hard, with difficulty, like something is physically gagging him and barring him from speaking. "Not. Here. Please." 

        You look up at him for a long, terrified moment. The two of you come to a stop outside your door. You haven't made your decision yet. The lock is still broken. If Toby really wanted to he could just bust inside after you. But he seems like he has no intention to. He's not even looking in the general direction of the doorknob. His eyes are just desperately trained on you through cracked orange lenses. When you don't respond or move for another few more agonizing seconds, he suddenly takes your arm in his hand with a sort of urgency.

        Toby leans in closer, voice dropping to a whisper as his eyes dart away momentarily to scan the tree lines behind you. "I think It-He's lis-lis...listen..." He's really struggling now. Worse than before. You remember how his speech worsens when he's stressed out. But it's never been this bad before. 

        Listening. "He's listening." That's what Toby's trying to tell me...who is? 

        A dark, horrible fear washes over your heart and squeezes. Suddenly it's hard to breathe again. You can't think of anyone in particular who he could be referring to. Toby had already taken out your ex. So was it someone who wanted to hurt him instead? Were you in danger now too?! Again?! Your heart starts to race. No time to think. You need four walls around you and a door between you and the outside right fucking now.

        You reach to open the door. "Come on then."

        Toby ducks in quickly, hand still at your arm. Even though you opened the door, he's the one who drags you in. And he's the one to close the door as well. Quickly, Toby puts his back up to it. Shakily, you go to sit down on the edge of the bed, wrapping your arms around yourself. You pull the jacket tighter around your body. You can't get rid of the chill. And on top of it all, you're sore from standing and working all day. 

        "Doors do-don't stop Hi-him. But i-it makes me-e feel bet-bet-better." Toby says, voice still dropped low. He's staring at nothing in particular. 

        Is he really that scared of whoever's he's talking about?? If he's afraid, you need to be afraid too. 

        "Can you...can you try to talk about it? I know it's harder for you right now, but-"

        Toby instantly shakes his head. You feel a flash of frustration momentarily overcome you. He told you he'd talk. Right after he got his hatchets back. Before you can say anything, he opens the door again and leaves. Your fingers grip even tighter into the jacket, as you glance around all sides of the room. It seems like he'd had them stashed nearby the whole times (near your motel room, to your extreme irritation), as his return is very quick. Your eyes train on him as he reenters, securing one of the hatchets better in the holsters strapped to the side of his legs. His fingers don't leave the holster. 

        Before you can speak again, Toby simply tells you he'll talk, without looking up at you. Tentatively, you'd suggested that he should just write everything down. He says his handwriting is too shitty and he 'doesn't feel like it'. He'd rather just struggle through a sentence than leave paper evidence of what can only be described as the highest level of insanity. This is a hard topic for him. Your fingers bury themselves into the comforter nervously as he begins, still not looking at you. Like he's too ashamed to. 

        For as long as he could remember, since he was young, he'd always seen a man. Not his father--who he'd seemingly lived with alone (he doesn't talk about his mom). The man is tall. Distinguished. And off-putting. And he has no face. It almost sounds like a lie to you, like some boogeyman he made up to excuse his actions. An imaginary friend to blame all his bullshit on. Or a joke to mess with you again. But Toby's dead serious. He's not smiling. He's staring at the wall blankly as he continues to struggle through every sentence. The stammers are ever worsening. But he told you everything. How he couldn't feel things anymore--physical things, like pain. How he suddenly couldn't stay focused in his classes. He couldn't make friends. And the one he did seemed to all turn their backs on him as his conditions worsened. He'd always had Tourette's, he'd told you, but seeing the man almost...amplified his issues. His father tried to get him on medication. For the various things that Mr. Doctor had diagnosed him with. 

        He said it just made him all feel worse. So he stopped taking them. 

         "The man. He sa-said I shu-shouldn't t-take them...them anymore. That they we-were bad. I tho-thought he was right. So I sto-So I stopped."

        The man was the only thing that "talked" to him. You asked Toby how "the man" could talk without a mouth a bit cautiously. Toby simple shrugged.

        "I-I-I dunno. I ju-just heard. Heard his voice. In my he-head. It wawas-it is-isn't mine."

        He said something happened one day. He can't remember it. Just that it 'happened'. It was very similar to what happened with you, he'd noted, to your discomfort. It bothers him. Bad. To this day that he can't remember why he did it or how. But all of the sudden his childhood home was in flames and there'd been blood on his hands.

         He said he planned on killing himself when he gained back competence and saw his shaking stained hands. Just an overpowering urge to take his own life. Heavy guilt for something he doesn't remember doing, but he knows it's fucking bad. His heart was not blind like his eyes were. 

        Obviously, he didn't go through with it, based on how he was here with you now. But you didn't want to pry at those details any longer. 

        "How old were you?" you asked softly. 

        Toby was quiet for a moment. "I'm 26 now. I th-think. I lose track." He looked down at his hands, held up his fingers and started to bring them down, muttering under his breath. He had trouble with his pointer, which kept jerking back up a little. "16. Or 17. I dunno. I was wo-worried for a second I wouldn't ha-have enough fin-fingers." 

        Out of everything he's told you, he's worried about not having enough fingers to do first grade addition? You can't help but crack just the lightest of amused smiles. That makes him happy for a few seconds. But then the crinkles under his own eyes fade. And he looks sad all over again. He realized something very disheartening. Something that he always knew but never delved into completely. 

        "10 years," Toby says softly. "Feels like a lit-little but. But also ah-alot." He looked up at you, wistfully. "You're...22 now? Right? Guess that means you-you don't need m-me to buy you cheap 6-packs from 7/11 anymore, huh? You don't look that mu-much different." 

        He stared at you for a long moment, as if confirming his own words. Your skin crawls a little instinctually. 

        It's your turn to be quiet for an awkward moment. 

        "I...don't want to be insensitive..." That's literally so ridiculous, he literally ruined your life more than it already was and you're worried about his fucking feelings? "But you haven't actually answered my question yet." 

        Toby's scarred brows furrow and he gives you a bewildered look. He's gone so off track he doesn't even remember what you'd originally asked him. And he'd been too distracted by the rare achievement of being able to make you smile again. He'd totally forgotten. He feels bad until you remind him, in which case he wished you'd both forgotten the original question.

        "Who is listening?" 

        Toby stays silent again, heart dropping. Can he even say it? He'll try. For you he can try. He opened his mouth to reply, gaiter shifting with the movement. Then, suddenly, the doorknob turns. His attention snaps to it and he turns around completely, his back to you. He's in front of the door, shielding you from it.

        His hands race to his hatchets. Like it was second nature.

         Like it's what they were made for. 

[yakool-foolio]

oh alright then!!

yeah i was just thinking about how the detectives would even go to dr. huesca’s lab in the first place as well as figure out the details behind the death of yakou’s wife in ch4. yakou (probably) isn’t planning to kill dr. huesca in this au, plus in canon we don’t get any details about her until after the mystery labyrinth so uhm

i kinda went back to that conversation with kurumi at the end of ch4, and she talked about how yakou also did his own investigation for his wife’s death (which i’m assuming she somehow found out through a case file or smth). i also thought about how makoto also wanted to draw yuma to the lab as a decoy in order to expose yomi and then i just kinda combined those two things LMAO

what if makoto, other than inviting yuma to the lab, also sent yakou a redacted version of the case file for his wife’s death (whether that’s amaterasu’s version or yakou’s own version)? i’m thinking if kurumi was able to discover those things in-canon then it might make sense for makoto to also gain access at some point (y’know. as the literal CEO of amaterasu), and he might think it’s best to send everyone down there to cause even more of a distraction for yomi (and if this is yakou’s case file, yakou might recognize his own handwriting and see the whole ordeal as an opportunity to regain his lost memories) yakou reads the case file, realizes something’s up, and goes to investigate with the rest of the cast to the secret lab.

(also- when i say redacted i mean removing the personal details / name so that yakou can’t confirm if the case is about his wife, but might get a bad feeling about it based on the information that’s left and what other people tell him before he goes to the place where she was killed)

also in this case it might be cool to use not only vivia’s ability but also halara’s since this is about a case from the past—and yeah imagine if yakou was using postcognition and… saw his wife’s corpse. not only would it be the thing to confirm his suspicions about his wife’s disappearance, but it’d just be downright depressing 🫠

(also thinking about the actual case—i’m thinking yakou’s wife was assassinated by yomi’s personal hit man, but it was covered up with an explosion so it’d be more difficult to discern the gunshot wound on her head. that might be the reason why it was reported as an accident in the lab)

Wonderful insights! Sculpting from your ideas, I've come up with how the tail end of chapter 3 and the beginning of chapter 4 would go. After Makoto guides the detectives back to the riverbank for their restored submarine, Yakou wastes no time sifting through all his documents. He's amazed by how all his files are near-perfectly duplicated, but shakes his head when he realizes this is all just a product of Amaterasu keeping such a close eye on him. When opening one of his desk's drawers, he notices a slip of paper he doesn't remember being there before. Shinigami urges him to read it, but he stops himself from doing so when the rest of the NDA detectives file in to marvel at the submarine.

Eventually, the detectives head back to their hotel rooms while Vivia stays behind to sleep at the agency. Yakou uses the opportunity of his lonesomeness to read the out-of-place page. Shinigami curiously peeks over Yakou's shoulder, skimming through the words with him. The chief's eyes widen. The paper is inscribed in his own handwriting. Much to his dismay, many of the phrases are blacked out in thick ink. He believes this misplaced file is the key to regaining his missing memories and the final push to drop everything else and make plans to infiltrate the secret lab. Unbeknowst to him, this letter was a piece of his investigation for his wife's death that he tossed out during a moment of hopelessness. Makoto recovered it and used it to his advantage to slip it into the restored agency, putting his own plan to eliminate Yomi into action.

A sudden chill creeps down Yakou's spine, spooking him into looking around the room. He sees nothing other than a sleeping Vivia, which quells his fears. Little does Yakou know that the ghost of the tired detective watches over him much like Shinigami. Vivia has an inkling of doubt that everything will go as smoothly as Yakou believes. He tasks himself with keeping Yakou in his sights and aiding him in the investigation to come.

Every detective gets to use their Fortes in order to solve the mystery inside the secret lab! They all sneak in by disguising themselves as peacekeepers with Desuhiko's assistance. Fubuki rewinds time whenever their cover gets blown and they have to retrace their steps. Halara uses Postcognition to look over the original crime scene when it was first discovered, Yakou's wife's corpse n all. Vivia's ghost form allows for snooping in on scientists' gossip and easy access to Director Yomi's file room. He and Yakou uncover personal documents, also finding a recently opened folder with nothing inside. And last but certainly not least, Yuma uses his Coalescence to share Halara and Vivia's Fortes with Yakou. Yakou ends up spending the most of his investigation time with Vivia, as they enter Dr. Huesca's room as ghosts to look over whatever they can of the emails opened up on the computer. They aren't able to read much, but they're now made aware of an anonymous source involved who wants Huesca dead. Yakou frets that he could've been Anonymous before losing the memories surrounding his wife's death. Vivia does his best to sway Yakou away from that assumption, but in his mind, he's unable to confirm or deny.

And yeah, Yomi definitely tipped off Hitman Zilch to cover up his murder as an accident. We all know how much Hitman Zilch enjoys his pyrotechnics. He shot Yakou's wife in the head, and Yomi sneakily entered the room shortly afterwards to view the original crime scene. He assists his hitman in cleaning up the blood. Hitman Zilch dragged the body away to a chemical test chamber and lit the room ablaze. With full control over the murder, not much convincing was needed to assure everyone encountering the fake crime scene that it was the result of an experiment gone haywire. The two higher-ups secured the truth of Yakou's wife's death under lock and key.

[treezxu]

important not all important question. Would Aaron, hypothetically of course, skip to the end/spoil the ending of something when reading or watching something? In like some modern au or whatever au needs to exist for him to be able to watch stuff like shows,,.. Anywasy my reasoning for this actually not very important but very important question is that like. Me and my friend took an old “what character are you quiz?” and obviously those don’t actually mean anything and I know that. It’s fun to do every sixty months but hey whatever’s. Anyways we got Aaron and Alex and I was like “huh that’s neat. Didn’t think I’d get him” (Aaron) and my friend got Alex. Now I would’ve just continued on in my life but my dear amazing friend seemed really happy about that!! He hasn’t read anything about them just heard me say random stuffs about them haha, but he thought it was really cool that we’d get twins because there’s a lot of stuff about the both of us which are pretty cool coincidences. Like how both of our birthdays are a day apart, along with our younger sisters birthday being a day apart. Both our parents having the same name, both of them knowing one of my really olds friends mom (but I guess that isn’t too crazy). There was a BUNCH of other stuff but my memory sucks 😓 Anyways he was really happy about it, so it hasn’t left my mind like usual! obviously I don’t think we’re anything like them, but it’s still fun to see your guys explanation on like certain things about characters and go “haha wow I kinda do that. That’s pretty cool that characters awesome”. Anyways this kinda brings me to your post(s) about Aaron wanting to be in control (?). I’m not sure if this really correlates but I quite literally live off spoilers, and I tried watching an anime without spoiling it for myself. This had a lead me to the conclusion that I literally can’t watch something without spoilers. I had not a clue what would happen in those next few seconds, didn’t know if the character was going to stay dead, and for the life of me it was bugging me out so bad idea to go search up if the character is actually dead. There was like a few seconds left but I couldn’t tell whatsoever if he was going to get back up and spook us all. The minute I learned he did die, but comes back later as some sort of puppet, I was fine to keep going on! The same with books, no matter what I’m reading I have to look at the next few pages to see how it turns out or the next few paragraphs. I can not stop myself, and I know it’s a pretty common thing to do probably, but eh. What I’m getting at is, do you think Aaron would do that? Or another character maybe? Because it’s like, not knowing what’s going to happen, but you have the opportunity to know what happens if you spoil it for yourself, so you gotta do it? I don’t know it just kind of reminded me of that one post you where you were explaining the whole “in control” thing. Also if this isn’t a bother already, who do you think would walk on their tippy toes all the time/sometimes?? There’s gotta be at least one person from all those books…..,

love this ask tbh but UHM! I think maybbeee he would. impatience ig? possibly being new to expressing himself freely and reading a book and like. clutching his knees and staring and digging his nails into his legs. so while he's learned to be patient w people its like okay but what then. i can also see him getting frustrated with books in general idk. he's not rlly my blorbo so i dont have a super clear answer for u </3 my pick is yes sometimes. as for the in control, yeagh that DOES make sense for me. but by the time he's reading anything that CAN be spoiled he's already let go of that need for control and now wants to live on a tiny little island and plant things with his grandfathers

as for the tippy toes!! I can see Henry doing it when he's younger. Maybe Crow too. Uhmmm. Meg as well!!

[originalgenshinscenarios]

Hihi again-request for a scenario where the reader gets kabedoned by their s/o (accidentally or intentionally)(Ayaka,Hu Tao,Ei,Sara and Yae)-feel free to make any edits if you want think the scenario doesn’t suit the character well and remember to take care!! :)

I can do it like earlier and have 2 sides- one where they get kabedoned and one where reader does it! So if you'll like this one I don't mind you requesting second part ^w^

Also I think I might be crushing on Yae

Ayaka, Hu Tao, Ei, Sara and Yae reacting to their S/O doing the "Kabedon"

Reader here is gender neutral

Kamisato Ayaka

You didn't have many opportunities to take her out on a date. There were a lot of things you wanted to do but your outdoor plans failed due to an unexpected rain.

To get away from it you went to the Komore Teahouse. After entering a room you stood in front of the wall clearly feeling defeated.

She looked at you and asked if you were okay but it felt like you weren't listening or you just plainly ignored her. So she stood between you and the wall asking again but her tone was more serious.

You just rested your head against her shoulder as your hand supported you against the wall.

You admitted to the fact that you just felt down because of the rain that had ruined your plans.

While she did listen to you she was more focused on the position the two of you were in.

"I see- uhm I understand how you feel but-" her embarrassed tone made you look up, that's when you noticed that you pinned her against the wall.

You immediately pushed yourself away from her and apologized. She didn't mind what had happened in the slightest and the two of you continued your little date.

Hu Tao

She always liked it when you got confident with flirting. It's mostly because even though teasing is harder- once she hits the right spot she can see really great expression of flustered denial.

Of course it doesn't happen all the time. But she'd be lying if she said she doesn't sometimes create such situations on purpose just so she could tease you.

Each time she's done she's super sweet to make up for it if she makes you visibly upset though. It doesn't happen too often but it's not uncommon either.

Once you had a perfect opportunity to do the famous Kabedon you were prepared for her turning the tables, however you also thought you weren't going to let her get the better of you easily. You caught her off guard but she wasn't spooked so you had a little advantage.

This time you were prepared to say something back to her but once you had her... You felt speechless.

You were admiring each other, her eyes seemed more sparkly than usual but her smile was the same as ever.

Both of you felt like the entire world stopped existing and now it was just the two of you.

She booped your nose "Are we just going to stand here? Or was it just a staring contest" she says as she stares more intensively.

She just wanted to get you to talk. The silence was slowly making her flustered but she didn't mind that in the slightest.

Ei

Considering that she usually just stays in a huge rooms where she is always meters away from the wall it was hard to pull off something like this.

But somehow you managed to get yourself in that position... By accident.

That day she decided to take another walk around the town she wished to see more... And craved some dango milk.

As the two of you walked around some theif was being chased and you kind of stood in their way so they pushed you.

Since they pushed you Ei was pushed as well and she ended up with her back against the wall and you automatically placed your hand against it to stabilize your balance since you were almost about to fall.

As soon as the theif turned around to see if they were still being chased they saw Ei and freaked out. Thus they got captured.

Both you and Ei focused on that before you both turned your heads as the case solved itself.

That's when you noticed what had happened... As you were in the famous Kabedon your hearts were in sync beating faster than usual.

There was a bit of silence but she broke it by asking "How long do you wish to stay that way?"

Kujou Sara

You don't often get a chance to fluster her, even if this isn't a hard task. Unless she isn't focused on something else it's rather simple to flatter her.

So she didn't expect that to happen. And of course I mean the Kabedon happening.

You were alone you had an opportunity and took it. She was very much surprised but she didn't let that show.

She looked away but she also wanted to face you at the same time.

"What do you think you're doing?" she said with a sigh not really understanding your intentions.

If you wanted something from her you always have her attention. So a sneak attack like that seems unnecessary... But welcome.

Yae Miko

You planned this. You wanted to see how she'd react. Knowing her she'd probably be as bold as always... But it's still worth trying!

And hey, let's be real even if you fail to fluster her being close to her is a win on its own.

You waited for an opportunity to strike but it was almost like she just knew what you planned. You couldn't find her near any surface that was stable enough for your move.

Maybe it was a dare to see if you'd try it even though you'd risk falling with her?

She was also making sure to take a glance at you once in a while with a smirk... Yup she probably knew and wanted to see your reaction.

She didn't really let her guard down but she felt like that was enough. To be honest she had another plan of teasing that was much more entertaining.

So the second you shoot your shot... She did it.

"You're trying to fluster me, don't you? My love you need to try better than this" she smiles as she places her hand on your cheek and closes all distance between you, giving you a sweet kiss.

~Mod Lisa

[bloodorangesoup]

Ice Cream and Bad TV | B.B.

Request: Late night thoughts : The only porn bucky watches are the ones that come on tv at like 2 or 3 in the mornings. Imagine cuddling up with him on his living room floor, aimlessly clicking around until you stumble upon the channel & he gets flustered & shy about it & you fuck him while porn plays in the background. Like I think it’s so romantic🥺🥺 riding him while the soft glow of the tv illuminates his face. His moans & grunting blending in with the actors 😫😫

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 3.6k (this was supposed to be a drabble but I cannot for the life of me control myself)

Warnings: NSFW 18+ | cuddle fucking, unprotected sex(pretend ur on birth control for a sec)(still wrap it b4 your tap it), flustered Bucky, porn talk, the tiniest bit of sub!Bucky for like half a second, fluffy smut, you get the gist

My Masterlist

Notes: I did this in one sitting so sorry if it’s repetitive or has any mistakes. I think I have a major soft sport for flustered Bucky. I also had to think of a realistic name for a TV porn channel so bear with me. This is my first time writing smut in non-headcanon form so let me know how I did! Happy reading!

It was 2am on a Thursday night when your phone rang with your boyfriend's caller I.D. This wasn't the first time that Bucky had called you for this instance, it became a routine for you to talk him down after a nightmare and you prepared to do so when you picked up. Usually the first thing you would hear was his heavy breaths, the anxious buzz in his body making him fumble his words as he tried to focus on talking to you, so you were surprised to be met with still breathing and his typical deep, steady voice.

"Doll? You there?"

"Yeah, Buck, I'm here," you replied with a yawn, trying to sound as awake as possible. Bucky could hear the airiness of your voice and let out a sigh.

"Sorry, baby, I woke you up."

"You say that every time, I don't mind waking up for you. Besides, I don't have work tomorrow so I don't exactly need my beauty rest."

There was a pause. You could still hear static from the other side of the call but Bucky didn't say a word.

"Buck? You okay?" As if you snapped him out of a daydream, his hurried words rushed through the phone.

"Yeah yeah, sorry. I'm kind of out of it right now, I had another bad dream."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" You had expected his usual answer of yes, then you would listen to his thoughts and comfort him through the horrific reality that were his nightmares.

"You said you don't have work tomorrow? Do you think you could come over right now? Actually never mind, I don't know what I'm saying, it's 2am." You could practically see Bucky shaking his head as he took back his question.

"I'll be there in twenty, James. You better have some blankets and pillows ready for me because we're taking over your couch."

Bucky let out a breath over the line, "See you soon, y/n, love you."

"Love you more," you said quickly before hanging up, not letting him get in the last 'I love you.'

~

Forty minutes later you found yourself on Bucky's lap on his living room floor. You two had abandoned the idea of the couch and chose to make a small fort with the couch as your scaffolding. There was a surprising amount of pillows and blankets surrounding the two of you, you had no idea Bucky even owned them all.

He sat with his back against the couch, your legs laid over his and your arms were around his neck, bringing his head down to your chest. He talked about his nightmare, sparing you the gruesome details, and once he was done he closed his eyes and leaned further into your chest, breathing in your scent. You gave the crown of his head a kiss and rested your head atop his. Comfortable silence washed over the two of you before you spoke up.

“You know what always makes me feel better?” you asked, lifting your head just enough to look down at him.

“What?” he mumbled into your chest. A soft smile graced your face at his cuteness.

“Ice cream and bad TV!” you announced excitedly before wiggling out of his grasp.

You did a little jog to his kitchen and reached down into the freezer to grab a small pint of ice cream you knew Bucky always kept stashed for you whenever you came around. Picking up two spoons and turning off all the lights in the apartment on your way, you quickly made your way back into the living room, lifting Bucky’s arms to situate yourself back into your position on his lap. You popped the lid of the small tub and handed it to Bucky along with a spoon. With your hands now free, you felt around in the dark for the remote and turned on the TV.

Waiting for the TV to completely turn on, you ate a spoonful of ice cream. You hummed at the taste of the cold sweetness coating your tongue. You gasped as you opened your eyes, finding Bucky scooping out some ice cream and lowering it to your mouth.

“Oh wait, let me make this cuter!” you squealed with your eyes wide.

Copying Bucky’s actions, you took a spoonful and lifted it to his lips, the both of you opening wide and feeding each other. You giggled at the cliché moment and Bucky couldn’t help but let out a chuckle at how adorable you were.

You turned back to the TV, lifting the remote in your hands to change the channel to anything but the news that was already playing on the screen. As you flipped through sports recaps, music channels, infomercials, and movies that were already almost over, you sighed.

“Ugh, there’s nothing good on. Maybe if I start from the end of the list there’ll be better stuff,” you huffed.

Before Bucky could register what you said you had already typed in the biggest number you could enter and began flipping down through channels. Surfing through the empty screens, you landed on one called HotNet and suddenly the screen was completely taken over by a pair of boobs which then cut to a woman on her back and a man on top of her, rutting into her at a slow pace, while her moans echoed throughout the apartment. You quickly shuffled with the remote, trying to turn the volume down from it’s loud setting, spooked at the loud, obscene noise coming from the speaker.

“Oh my gosh, I wasn’t expecting that,” you laughed into Bucky’s chest, “God, I hope your neighbors didn’t hear that.”

Bucky stared at the screen with wide eyes, hoping you would change the channel before noticing that the channel was in the On Demand section. You gasped through your laugh, collecting yourself before turning back to the TV and shaking your head.

“Jeez, I didn’t even know they still had porn like this on public television.” You looked back down at the remote, clicking the Guide button. Bucky’s heart stopped as the description took over the screen, the video still playing in the top right corner. In bold letters the words On Demand titled the card. Even worse, the bottom of the screen displayed a small box containing the information,

$19.99

purchased with debit card xxxx-9758

You furrowed your brows in confusion, realization slowly softening them, before a mischievous smirk took over your face. You lifted your head to look at Bucky, his face looked down at your lap, refusing to meet your eyes. You tapped the bottom of his chin with the remote, lifting his head to meet your gaze.

“Did you order TV porn, Jamie?” He could hear the teasing tone in your voice, and you only ever used that nickname when joking around, yet Bucky still felt extremely embarrassed. He felt as if he just got walked in on while touching himself. It didn’t help that it was you that saw it, he wanted to crawl in a hole and never look back.

“Ah, you’re blushing,” you squealed as you took his cheeks in your hands, “oh come on, it’s not that embarrassing Bucky.”

“Ugh, can we please pretend you didn’t just see that,” Bucky groaned, closing his eyes to escape your stare. He set down the ice cream next to him and lifted his forearm over his eyes.

You let out a breathy laugh, grabbing his shoulders to stabilize yourself and pushing up to swing your leg under you to the other side of his lap, you straddled him.

“Hey, it’s really not that bad. I mean we’ve had sex before Buck, I think you’d rather have me find this than Sam or someone else.” He let out another groan and lowered his head to lean against your neck.

“Angel, please don’t talk about Sam while you’re on top of me and there’s porn playing on the TV.”

You laughed and ran your hands down his arms, letting one of your hands run up behind his neck and weaving your fingers into his hair. You gripped the back of his head and gently tugged him back up to face you.

“Why,” you sang, deciding to have some fun with him in his flustered state, “is this turning you on?” you whispered the last part.

Before he could respond you leaned down and kissed him. You didn’t bother to start off slow as you usually would, Bucky could taste the hunger from every parting of your lips. His hands gripped your waist, you rocked your weight forwards to rub against him. Bucky’s head clouded, his senses felt overloaded in the best way possible, your movements mixed with the sounds of the moaning coming from the TV were getting him hot. You pulled back before getting too carried away, a smile on your swollen lips.

“So, baby, tell me about it.” You said. It was Bucky’s turn to furrow his brows and he cocked his head to the side in question, mind still foggy from the feeling of you grinding on him.

“What kind of porn do you watch?” you clarified, looking at him like you just asked what his favorite color was.

“Uhm, you want to know about that stuff?” Bucky looked at you with caution, feeling out if he should listen to you or not.

“Well, yeah. I mean I don’t know how it was back then, but most people nowadays watch porn. It’s not super taboo to talk about it,” you explained. You weren’t going to force him to talk about it if he really didn’t want to, but your desire to hear what Bucky was into was strong.

He hesitated for a moment, looking in your eyes and seeing curiosity clouded with lust. He cleared his throat.

“Well, pretty much this stuff,” he gestured with his hand to the TV before putting it back on your waist, “there’s this girl on there, she kinda looks like you, so I buy the videos with her.” He closed his eyes and internally groaned at his words, he didn’t mean to come off so perverted. God, you had already found his porn, the last thing he needed was for you to be thinking he was a creep.

“Y’know that’s actually kinda sweet,” you giggled, “what do you like about those videos?”

Feeling a bit more comfortable knowing you weren’t grossed out, Bucky continued.

“I like the ones where it’s dark and slow. It’s usually quiet and there’s candles and stuff,” he explained shyly. Of all the surprises that came with dating Bucky, you had to admit finding out he was into romantic porn was one of the biggest ones.

Bucky cleared his throat again before questioning you, “Do you watch porn?” He felt almost wrong asking that. He knew that women in this age were more sexually liberated, but the words still felt sticky in his mouth.

“Oh, yeah, of course I do.” Bucky seemed surprised at how casually you answered. He raised his eyebrows, silently asking you to go on.

“Well specifically, I actually really like the videos that are like this,” you said, your head looking down at you straddling him, he followed your gaze, taking in how nice you felt on his lap. You leaned forward, bracing your hands on his chest. Your faces were so close your noses were almost touching. You could feel his rapid heart beat under your palm and the quick rise and fall of his chest. “Do you ever watch the ones that look like this, Bucky?” He looked up at you and nodded with wide eyes, his pupils were blown and his mouth was open like he was searching for the words to respond.

You grasped his jaw in your hand, your thumb on his chin, and looked him in the eyes. You wanted nothing more than to jump his bones, but with the newfound knowledge you had, you took your time with your actions. Within the last five minutes, Bucky had revealed to you not only that he liked soft, romantic porn, but that he also watched a specific actress because she looks like you. The one goal in your head was to fulfill his fantasy the best you could at the moment.

With his head still in your hand, you held your eye contact as you let your knees move out, grinding yourself against his growing erection. He let out an involuntary whimper. That was the last straw. You pulled his face to yours, joining him in a hard, yet loving kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck, pushing your chest against his, trying to get as close as possible.

Bucky’s dick was painfully hard. He couldn’t focus on anything but the feeling of you on top of him. His body felt like it was on fire, he was insatiably horny and couldn’t control the way his hips bucked up to grind with you. He felt like a horny teenager the way his mind was filled only with images of you naked, imagining you like that on top of him like you were now.

You slipped your tongue past his lips, keeping your pace slow as you glided it across and bit at his lower lip. A moan made its way out of your mouth and into his as you felt him buck up against you.

You slid your hands down his chest, fumbling with the hem of his shirt before his arms raised, giving you access to peel it off him, throwing it up on the couch. Bucky kissed down your neck, licking over the shell of your ear, and sucking at the center of your throat. He reached down and slipped his hands under your shirt, sliding up and down your waist before gliding up and lifting your shirt over your head, discarding it with his.

Bucky wasted no time reaching around you and unclipping your bra and dragging it down your shoulders. He cupped your breasts, squeezing them with his large hands before bringing you into another tender kiss. Despite your frantic movements, there was a spark of passion cracking through the air, the both of you desperate to feel each other closer.

You broke the kiss, breathing heavily and resting your forehead against his.

“I wanna make love to you, y/n, please, let me make love to you,” he groaned with a slight whine in his voice. He sounded like he was about to crack.

“Please, Bucky.”

You leaned back on your hands and lifted your hips, giving Bucky the room to pull down your shorts and panties in a few swift tugs. He quickly got up on his knees and pulled down his sweats and boxers, sitting back down and tugging them off his legs. You reached your arms forward, Bucky grabbing a hold of your wrists and pulling you back to straddle him again. You gasped at the feeling of his cock under your bare pussy, your wetness from all the grinding and kissing making you slide over him.

You leaned forwards, capturing his lips between yours and raising yourself up on your knees. Reaching under yourself, you gripped his cock, wet with your arousal, and lined him up with your cunt. Bucky gripped your hips as you sank down on him, using every ounce of self control to stop himself from rutting up into you. You stayed like that for a second, adjusting to the way he filled you. Seeing the remote lying on the floor, you grabbed it and slightly turned up the volume, only enough so that you and Bucky could hear the actress in the video being ravished by her co-star.

Bracing your hands on his shoulders, you began to slowly move up and down over him, riding him just as you had told him you liked to watch. His hands moved up from your waist, squeezing your tits, pinching your nipples in between his fingers. You let out a hiss as he rolled them between his fore finger and his thumb, tugging on and rubbing his thumbs over them. He reached around to grab your ass, squeezing and rubbing your cheeks and you used him to pleasure yourself.

You were a moaning mess over him and he wasn’t much different. The room was filled with the sounds of the porn playing on the TV mixed with the sounds of your own cries of pleasure. If the neighbors hadn’t been woken up by the TV, they sure were by you two.

Bucky sat back on his knees, his hands slid down to your thighs, moving your legs from under them and wrapping your legs around his back. His arms worked their way back up to wrap around your waist, bringing you ever so close. The new angle pushed him even deeper up into you. He buried his head in the crook of your neck, giving you access to all the sweet, desperate sounds falling from his lips.

You were now pushing up with your feet behind him, rolling your hips over his. The new technique made your clit rub over his pelvis, the sensation making you throw your head back and let out a deep moan. He took the opportunity to continue kissing your neck, going lower with every lick and bite. He sucked at your collarbone, leaving a deep purple mark in its place.

Suddenly, he was using his arms to lift you up, not pulling out of you, and laying you down on the blanket-covered floor. You instinctively locked your ankles together, pulling him closer as he thrusted into you. Bucky had his metal arm holding himself up while his flesh one squeezed your breasts, feeling them move with his thrusts. He lowered his head to your chest and licked one of your nipples, grazing his teeth over it before taking it in between his lips and sucking. Your hands flew to the back of his head, singing praises as you wove your fingers into his hair. He continued to alternate between your breasts, leaving love bites around them and sucking on their sensitive peaks.

You could feel your body buzz with anticipation, you were so close. The moans escaping your mouth were lewd and uncontrolled. Bucky wrapped his flesh hand around your waist, lifting your chest flush against his.

You snaked your arms around his neck, pulling yourself up to kiss him. Nothing felt better than making love with Bucky felt. This was definitely not the first time you two had been intimate, but none of those previous times had ever been like this. You could feel the passion flowing through his body into yours. You looked up at his form over you, how beautiful he looked with the light of the TV screen glistening against the beads of sweat on his forehead. There was absolutely nothing in the world compared to having him, in all his beauty, to yourself like this.

Bucky’s heart was exploding in his chest. What had started out as an embarrassing, nightmare-fueled night had turned into the most intimate experience he ever had in his life. Love was already established in your relationship, but Bucky had never truly made love to you. He looked down in awe at your disheveled state, at the way your hair was sticking to your forehead, at the way the only light in the room gave you an angelic glow. He wanted nothing more than to give himself completely to you, to make you come all over him.

He leaned his forehead against yours, pushing his face forward once every few seconds to kiss you. He was close, and he wanted you to come with him. He leaned into you even more, his cheek pressed against yours, his lips next to your ear.

“I love you so much, y/n, God, you feel so good. I love you, I love you,” Bucky’s voice was deep and strained, his words being emphasized by each push into your wet pussy. You let out another loud moan.

“I love you, James,” you whined as he hit your sweet spot, “I love you so much.”

Bucky’s hand wedged itself in between the two of you, his fingers finding your clit and gently rubbing it. You were completely overwhelmed, this is what it felt like to make love to someone. Your body began to shake and your breathing became erratic. Bucky thrusted harder, working to push you over the edge.

“I want you to come in me, Bucky,” you gasped as his thrusts got faster and lost their rhythm.

Your mouth turned open in a silent scream as you came. Bucky felt your walls clench around him, squeezing the life out of him. He let out a shaky groan as he fell over the edge. His eyes shut tight and his body tensed as he spilled into you.

Wrapping his metal arm around your back and securing your body to his, he rolled on his flesh shoulder onto his back. You went limp against him, laying your head on his chest, listening to his heart beat slow down. He was still buried within you, connected to you. Letting your eyelids fall shut, you savored the feeling of being full of him and his love.

You lifted your head to kiss his jaw.

“I’m glad you called me, Bucky. I love you.”

“I am too, doll. I love you more.”

[roger-that-cap]

cardigan

natasha romanoff x f!reader

word count: 8.9k (haha)

warnings: swearing, cheating!natasha, sad!reader, uhm this is angsty for me, asshole!natasha, sort of asshole!team, more angst, sort of happy ending sort of, secrets™️

this is inspired by taylor swift’s cardigan. folklore and evermore are really getting me through this i swear

obviously i do not own this song, picture, or any of the warped lyrics that i attempted to slide in as creatively possible :) this is also my first one shot and my first reader insert ever- i tried to not go into any physical details about miss y/n but i hope y’all like it!

No editor. All mistakes are 100% mine!

You couldn’t have been any more excited to see Natasha. She had been gone for what felt like forever on a mission with Steve, Bucky, and some agent that was on her first big mission, a girl that you recalled to be named Abigail. Regardless of what her name was, they were all heading home today after so long, nearly two months.

There was no telling how much you were ready for the return of your fiancée. The two of you had promised to get married nine months ago, and you were already deep into planning. You were going to your dress appointment at Kleinfeld’s (your literal childhood wish) in two days. You had the venue picked, the table accessories done, the seating chart already filled out and sitting pretty in laminated sheets in a binder. The day was going to be perfect, and it was what you and Natasha deserved after so long. Especially Natasha, after every single thing that she had been through just to save the world and to help those who weren’t able to help themselves.

Natasha was your angel.

Your heart was racing in your chest as you waited for the quinjet to land, the ring feeling light on your left finger as you rolled back and forth on your feet. You couldn’t hold back a toothy grin as you waited for them to fly back in, and to hug Natasha again. That was the most important part. To have her back in your arms so that you could do things like stay in together for the weekend and stay holed up in their room just doing innocent things, like counting each other’s heartbeats.

You stood with your hands clasped in front of your body as they landed, a dopey grin on your face and the same nervous glint in your eye that was there every time that you waited for your fiancée to come back home. You knew that Natasha would always find her way back to you, but there was no telling what condition she would be in.

The moment the doors opened, Abigail ran through them, and down the ramps nearly knocking you over. You reached your arms out to steady the other girl, who looked like she was about to burst into tears at any second. As much as you wanted to just hug Natasha and go home after you ate and sleep in bed with her, you couldn’t leave a girl in tears like that without checking on her. “Woah, are you okay, sweetie?”

The girl’s bottom lip jutted out, like she was about to cry just because of you asking the question. She didn’t say anything, but she was obviously falling apart from the inside, and it made you more than mildly concerned. You didn’t like to see anyone cry, let alone a girl who had just come back from her first big mission. “I’m fine.” Her voice cracked.

“Are you sure?” You were no medic or super soldier or even assassin-spy, but you were nothing if not rational and sympathetic. You were so in tune to the poor girl that you didn’t feel the palpable awkwardness of everyone else who walked off of the quinjet, almost all of them cringing. “Do you need to talk to someone?”

“I- I’m sorry,” Abigail said, and she was running away from you faster than you had ever seen anyone run before.

You frowned as you watched her run. “I hope she’s alright, poor thing. I can’t imagine how a first mission feels,” you murmured, turning around and seeing the slightly spooked eyes of the rest of the team. You smiled at them cautiously and walked over to Natasha, arms already raised as you went to embrace her tightly. You breathed in and put your face in her neck, nearly crying tears of joy as you smelled her shampoo, a rich scent that meant the safety and comfort of them both. “I’m so glad you’re alright.”

You were so happy to hold your fiancée again that you almost didn’t notice how standoffish she was being, and her lack of enthusiasm. She had never been not enthusiastic to see you, especially after going so long without seeing each other. After too long of her not reacting to your warm embrace by kissing your hair or murmuring her usual missed you, princessa, you pulled away and looked at her, a questioning look on your face. “Are you okay, my love?”

Natasha stepped back, not looking you in the eyes and choosing to just smooth out the sleeves of her combat attire, eyes on the floor. That was very unlike her. Something must have gone terribly wrong. “I just want to get home.”

Your vibe visibly deteriorated. It was obvious that Natasha had just popped your bubble and left it as an empty shell, but you were still smiling anyway. Like you always did. “Okay, Nat. We can do that.” You reached out for Natasha’s hand and grabbed it after waving goodbye to the other team members, who all looked either extremely displeased or like they had been caught doing something very awkward.

You walked back to your part of the tower together in silence that wasn’t characteristic of the two of you. You were a known chatterbox, happy and always starting meaningful conversations, but also one of the best listeners to ever grace the earth. Natasha liked to listen, too, and she had the best words and the best voice to listen to. One of them was always talking. The silence between them was almost haunting.

Natasha went straight into the shower. She didn’t offer for you to go in with her, which was what the two of you always did after a mission. You got to see Natasha at her most vulnerable, and Natasha was finally allowed to let down the shroud of strength that only lasted for so long without being damaging. It was the thing that kept you close and often the action that got Natasha to open up about what happened and how she truly felt. Natasha skipping out on that time hurt you and made you expect the worst. 

She turned the lights off the minute that she was out of the shower, not speaking to you or even offering any physical assurance, which was something that Natasha knew that you needed after she came home.

You just prayed that she would be ready to talk in the morning.

§§§

Natasha wasn’t there when you woke up. You frowned and patted the empty spot in the bed beside you even though you knew that she was probably at the gym or running around doing errands. You sighed and crawled out of bed, doing the daily routine that you usually did with Natasha, and leaving the room to go make some breakfast.

There were whispers that hissed like snakes when you came around the corner, and they came to a screeching halt when you bounced into the room. You grinned at everyone sitting or standing in the kitchen, ignoring their deer-in-headlights looks and searching for the woman you were set to get married to. You frowned a bit when there was no sign of her.

“Good morning!” You hummed out anyways, going towards the pantry once you saw that no one had made food yet. Because you were staying there and you had no other skills, you had been the one to take up personal chef for the entire team just to pull some weight, even though they insisted that you didn’t need to do a thing. As long as you “kept Nat happy”, they said. 

It took a second for any of them to respond. “Good morning,” Steve said, his voice oddly clinical for the way he usual greeted you. He was the morning person of the bunch, and probably your closest friend other than Wanda. 

You took the supplies out of the pantry with a thoughtful look on your face. “I’m not trying to pry,” you started softly, back still towards them as you started with the pancake mix. “But, was the mission bad?” No one spoke for a few heavy moments. 

“We succeeded,” Bucky finally stated vaguely, his voice floating through the room.

You never the type to spill all of your personal business to people, but these people weren’t just anyone. These were your closest friends, the people who were going to be in the wedding, either in one bridal party or the other’s. “Nat’s not talking to me,” you sighed out, and turned around to see all of them stiff as boards. “Was it hard for her?”

No one said anything.

You pursed your lips and turned your back to them again, looking away from them to gathered your thoughts for a second. You took in a deep breath and told yourself not to pry, not to think about what Natasha would surely tell you when she was ready. You turned your head and gave them your trademark grin. “Who wants blueberries in their pancakes?”

§§§

You sat in your shared room after a full day of Natasha blatantly ignoring and avoiding you. You were patient, because that was what you had to be to date an Avenger, but Natasha had never straight up ignored you before. You learned very quickly that it called for a different type of patience than the one you were used to.

   In the kitchen when she was forced to be present after you cooked a huge welcome home meal, she didn’t hug on you or kiss your cheek or even look you in the eyes. It wasn’t like her. You came to the tough conclusion that it wasn’t because of the mission, because she had never done that before, not even after the one where the children were caught in the crossfire. You were always the one that she talked to, no matter what.

The lamp light was the only light on in the room, because you knew that Natasha liked it better that way. Maybe less light would make her open up a bit, and the two of you would finally see eye to eye after the annoying stalemate that felt eternal.

You didn’t know how long Natasha would take come back and speak, but you knew that it wouldn’t be too long. Natasha liked to talk, and she had said multiple times that she liked to talk to you the most. It would be any time, right? That’s what you thought until the hours crept by, and you saw and heard no sign of anything. Not even the ding of an elevator or the shutting of a door, or her soft footsteps that she made on purpose because her natural steps were so quiet that she scared you when she appeared. 

When Natasha finally came in, it was late in the night, morning time. Three in the morning, to be exact. You shook off your nerves and smiled at her, and the smile wasn’t returned as much as it should have been. “Hi,” you said, almost a little star struck by finally seeing her. It brought you back to the time you didn’t truly know her. 

You had always admired Natasha. Not even because of her being Black Widow, but because she was Natasha Romanoff, an enemy spy and assassin turned good. And it brought you pure joy knowing that you would soon be taking on her last name, which you secretly thought of as your greatest achievement. Natasha was the one you wanted with for life, and you were steps closer. 

You waited to hear Natasha’s voice. You waited in anticipation for her to run to you and start to spill immediately. You were waiting to wipe her tears and assure her that it wasn’t her fault, and that she couldn’t have done anything differently. “Hi.”

You frowned. Confusion flooded your senses at the short greeting. “Huh?”

“Why are you up?” Her tone sounded almost accusatory, like she had caught you doing something that you weren’t supposed to do, like you were intruding on her time. The frown on your face turned into a slight scowl, and then you reminded yourself that patience was key with Natasha.

“I’m allowed to wait up for my future wife,” you teased, but the look in your eye was serious. You could see how the red head lingered at the doorway, like she was trying to decide whether to bolt or leave with grace. You weren’t going to give her enough time to make the decision. Come sit, please.” When Natasha didn’t move an inch, your facial expression fell. “Please.”

Natasha walked over to the bed slowly, like she was being forced to move or die. You shook your head side to side, eyeing her up and down like the answer to the problem that you didn’t know yet was written on her body somewhere. “I’m here,” she said quietly, like a distant whisper.

“Are you really?” You asked quietly, and it felt like your voice echoed like the beating of drums in the nearly silent room. “Can you please tell me what’s going on?”

“Nothing happened.”

You knew that you shouldn’t pry. You both hated prying, but you were also both naturally transparent. You two had never truly had to pry with each other before. The truth was, you didn’t know how far you could push until she snapped on you. “Are you sure?”

Like someone had flipped a switch, a small smile lit up on Natasha’s face. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to sate you for a while. “Yes, princessa. I’m very sure. I’m tired.”

That was all it took. All it took was Natasha muttering the sweet nickname to you, and it was all as good as talked about. You could rest for a moment.

“Then we can go to bed, my love.” You reached out to touch Natasha’s face, loving the familiar feeling of her soft skin. “You know, you don’t ever have to be afraid to tell me anything, Nattie.”

You stared at Natasha for a while, just admiring her face and everything about it, almost missing the way that she didn’t do it back. This was something that you two did nearly every night before going to sleep- you just watched each other. A slow, dopey grin slid onto your face, and then you leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her nose, then her cheek, and then to her pink lips in a soft yet passionate kiss, as soft as rose petals.

You pulled away and smiled at her with your eyes closed, nuzzling your face into her neck. You took in a deep breath, inhaling her sweet smell and feeling the comfort was over you like waves in the ocean. You could have told her a thousand things in that instant, but they all revolves around one master idea. “I love you so much, Natasha.”

You brushed a red strand of hair out of her face before reaching up to kiss her forehead, and then you were back in her neck, trying to sleep.

There was no response, just Natasha’s arm’s getting tighter around you and squeezing three times, each harder and shakier than the last. That was all it took for you to fall asleep.

When you woke up the next morning, you recalled having a dream that featured a woman crying, the sound distant yet close.

§§§

You had a feeling that Natasha was going to do the exact same thing that she did the first time, and you assumed correctly. You took it in stride this time and went to the flower store to pick out your bouquet that you would walk with, and probably throw. It was something that you wanted to do on your own, anyway. Like most brides, you didn’t want your future spouse seeing anything that you were going to be wearing until the big day. Not even the veil or the flowers that you would be carrying.

“That’s gorgeous!” You grinned at the employee, who mirrored your excited look. “That’s perfect, she’ll love it.”

While you gushed about your flowers, you also wondered if Natasha was doing a bouquet, too. You hoped that she had someone that would help her out with it, maybe Sharon or Wanda. Natasha wasn’t really big on the planning of the wedding. In fact, she wanted it much smaller than it was going to be, but you had convinced her to do it your way. Maybe it was your natural charm that helped you swindle the spy, or perhaps it was because she just secretely wanted the same thing.

As you walked away from the flower shop after placing the order, you walked by the busy donut shop that Natasha loved going to. Usually, it would be Natasha that stopped by and brought you some donuts, but maybe the other way around would be enough to make the red headed woman smile a bit. You stopped for a second and then didn’t hesitate to go in, pulling out a couple dollars for a tip, too.

Natasha loved chocolate donuts, even though she tried to resist eating them. You liked glazed better, but it was alright. You’d buy chocolate for her. You had hope that they would get Natasha to open up just a little, as dumb as it sounded. But a bribe never went wrong, and what was the harm in donuts?

“Thank you, Sarah,” you said after you got the box of donuts, walking out of the sweet smelling shop and down the street towards the tower.

When you got back, it was loud. It usually was pretty loud, with everyone and everything going on, but this was a different type of loud. It wasn’t the tinkering of metal in the lab or the sounds of sparring or elevators going up and down. It was shouting. A full on shouting match that was loud enough to be heard from floors down was happening. You nearly dropped the box of donuts as you hurriedly pressed the level that you and Natasha stayed on, hoping to find her in the room and out of the fight. The ride up the elevator was almost too full of anticipation as you waited in what would have been silence, if not for the yelling.

“No, because you can’t control yourself!” The voice was now obviously Steve’s. You were shocked. You had never heard Steve so riled up, ever. It was out of character for him to be so angry at someone, even if that particular someone fucked up royally. “You did something stupid, and now you’ll own up to it. Simple.”

“I fucking can’t!” You frowned. That was without a doubt Natasha. “I can’t, not right now. So fuck off.”

“I can’t fuck off after you’ve done something like this, Romanoff.” You winced as the elevator doors opened. Steve didn’t use Natasha’s last name anymore, not since they got close. And he certainly didn’t use the f-bomb much. “This is… it’s beyond-”

“What happened?” You shoved the donuts into Sam’s waiting hands, which were open for business when he saw you coming out of the elevator. “What’s all the yelling for?”

Everyone was staring at you like you were a ghost that wasn’t supposed to show up even though they had called on you. No one had an immediate answer, and so you put your hands on your hips. “Is everything okay?”

Tony looked at Natasha with sharp eyes and took a step back, raising his palms. “On you.”

It took a second for Natasha to say anything to you, and it was clear that everyone was waiting for something. It was even more clear that everyone was equally pissed at Natasha, for whatever reason.

“Everything is just fine, princessa.” Natasha’s voice carried over to your ears, smooth as honey, even though she wasn’t looking up into your eyes. “Don’t worry.”

You didn’t really believe it. How could you? She wasn’t talking to you, she wasn’t lying with you, she wasn’t counting your heartbeats like you did with her. There was something wrong, something had to be for Steve to be yelling like that, in front of everyone else. You eyed Natasha for a few extra seconds and then took the donuts back, muttering a thanks to Sam.

“Alright.” As if seeing the box made you remember why you went out in the first place, your trademark grin was back. “I ordered my bouquet today,” you hummed, walking up to Natasha and planting a kiss on her lips. When you pulled away, you murmured the customary I love you under your breath, like you two did every time you kissed. The one who initiated the kiss would say it first, and it would be answered by a quick “always”.

“A-always. Oh?” You realized that Natasha’s voice fluttered when she said it.

“Yeah, you can’t see which one, though.” You winked at her playfully, trying to ignore the way that the others looked mildly uncomfortable. You were used to uncomfortable looks, but never from them. You knew that it wasn’t homophobia, because they were never that way. So their behavior ran deeper than that. What the fuck happened? “My dress appointment is tomorrow.”

“Yeah.”

You were too busy getting a donut from the box to see the looks that everyone else shared when you spoke again. “How’s the girl who went on the mission with you? She seemed a little upset when you guys came back.”

Natasha’s hair nearly bounced with how high she shot up, her body going straight at the mention of the other girl. She looked away from your eyes for a split second, and then back. “Fine.”

You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, eyes on Natasha. “Is she good with fashion? Maybe seeing dresses and all that would make her feel a little better.”

Natasha looked horrified as she realized what you were insinuating. “No. No, she’s fine. She doesn’t need to be invited anywhere.”

“It’s just to sit and watch me try on dresses. Wanda, Sharon, and Pepper are going, right?” You looked towards Tony to confirm, and he nodded his head firmly before looking at Natasha again, a serious look in his eyes. “Maybe Abigail can go.”

“No. She’s not going.” There was something in Natasha’s tone that sounded so final, so adamant, that you knew in your heart to just drop it. It saved you both in that moment.

That didn’t mean that you weren’t allowed to make a face of disapproval. “That’s not nice at all, Nattie. I hope you weren’t the reason she was crying. You’re known to be a little mean.”

Natasha looked away from you, taking a step back. Her eyebrow was twitching, a sign of stress that you picked up on like it was your own. “I have to go.”

“Wait, I got these for-” Natasha left in a hurry, so fast that you barely even registered that she had left. She left awkwardness in her absence. “Well, she can eat them later. Feel free to have some, guys, just save one or two for her, okay?”

They were all quiet for a few seconds, like they were in the midst of a special moment where they were all feeling the same thing, everyone in the room except for you. Finally, Wanda spoke. “Okay, Y/N.” You smiled at them, gave them all sweet hugs, and left.

§§§

You were bursting at the seams at being seen for a dress appointment at Kleinfeld’s. Wanda was with you, and so were Sharon and Pepper. They were excited for you, but no one matched your energy.

You were a girl finally getting what she had been dreaming of her whole life; to get married in a beautiful dress to the person she loved. You would soon be walking down the isle to see Natasha waiting for you, flanked by everyone else that was ever important to them.

You must have been the luckiest woman in the world.

“You’re really excited,” Sharon mused, but it was more of an observation than a statement.

“I’m so excited,” you confirmed. “I’m marrying the love of my life in what’s going to be my dream dress, I know it.” You grinned as the four of you watched people bustling around the shop. There was a bride near tears, just like on the TV episodes, and you watched fondly. Seeing people get what they wanted made you happy.

The search for the perfect dress went nothing less than perfectly. Within the first two sweeps, you managed to get into a dress that everyone thought was perfect for you, and you loved it, too. It even brought the three out of the haze that they were in, out of focus and minds so far gone that your excited squeals were all that broke them out of their thoughts.

“It’s gorgeous, Y/N.” Pepper said, her voice soft and cautious as they walked up to pay. It was silent as you waited for an attendant to come to the counter and check you out.

“I- I think there’s something you should know.” The other girls’ head whipped Pepper’s way, and she gave them a look that told them that she wasn’t going to back down from whatever she had to say.

You had what felt like a permanent grin on your face as you thought about the dress. It was a dramatic ball gown, blush pink and flowy. You were almost as in love with it as you were with Natasha, and the matching heels that you got and the gorgeous veil that matched topped it all off. You and your soon to be bridal party walked out into the crisp air, and you turned your head towards Pepper. “Sure, what is it?”

There were a few beats of silence. “Let’s go sit in the car,” Pepper insisted, and so they walked back to the car that Happy was driving for them, where he was sitting with the partition rolled down. He gave them a half assed greeting before they all piled in. “Can I start off with saying that… I’m sorry if you feel like any of us betrayed you.”

You trusted them all with your life, but that didn’t stop your heart from starting to race at the words Pepper said. Whatever this announcement was, it wasn’t good at all. “What?” When no one said anything, you laughed a little. “What, is the dress actually ugly and you didn’t say anything while we were in there? Do I need to go back?”

“No, the dress is beautiful.” The other girls nodded, and then you were sure of yourself and your taste again. “It’s just… Abigail.”

You frowned a bit, immediately thinking of the tragic scene where the girl rushed out of the quintet, breaking down by the second. “Oh, poor thing. Is she not doing as well as they say she is? I know a first big mission can be tough.”

There was a thick silence before Sharon blurted it out. “I am so, so sorry.” You leaned forward, heart skipping a few beats while Sharon took in a deep breath. You knew that some kind of blow was coming just by her apology, and you were bracing for it. “Natasha and Abigail had an affair on the mission.”

In the movies, it was like an instant shattering of the heart when news was broken like that. Immediate tears, automatic screaming and cursing and wanting to call up the other person to threaten them. There was lashing out, the breaking of glass, all the cinematic things that made actors on screen look better and less awkward when they broke down. You always thought that they were overreacting.

Now you knew that they weren’t. You felt that way on the inside. Your mind was raging like a hurricane and a tornado all at once, one disaster coming from the east and the other from the west. Your anger was the tornado, whipping around and threatening to destroy everything in your path and lash out at every single damn person in that car. But just like a tornado, you wore out and disbanded, all in your head. All that was left was the hurricane. The sadness. The disappointment. The heartbreak.

You had never even entertained the thought of how you would be after getting betrayed by her, but if you had, you probably would have imagined that the tornado would have acted first. But it didn’t. Unlike in the movies, all you did was tilt your head to the side and ask for the words to be repeated, even though you didn’t even listen for a second. You couldn’t believe it. Not Natasha. Not your Natasha. Not your angel.

“Natasha and Abigail slept with each other on multiple occasions on the mission, by word of Steve,” Sharon pointed out, her voice similar to the way a doctor sounded while delivering bad news, only a little shakier. “Abigail ran out crying because she fell in love with Natasha and knew that it would never really happen, not because she ruined the mission.”

Not only had Natasha slept with another person, but she had somehow convinced the girl that they were going to be together. Natasha didn’t have a ring, and the girl was new. There was no way she would have known that you two were together unless someone explicitly told her, and there were better things to do on a mission. It wasn’t her fault. Even if she had known, it wasn’t Abigail’s fault. Natasha Romanoff knew better. She knew a thousand times better.

“I don’t think either of them meant for it to happen,” Pepper said, immediately trying to calm you down, even though you hadn’t even spoken an angry word yet, and you looked like you weren’t even close to shouting.

The distinct sound of the partition rolling up was what brought you back to the present.

“But it did happen,” you said slowly, not even realizing that your teeth were gritted. “It happened.”

You couldn’t believe it. You didn’t want to, you wanted to believe it was a lie and calmly confront Natasha, but Steve was the one who had said it, and Steve didn’t lie. Why hadn’t he told you before?

Now that you knew what went on during the mission, you could see that everyone was acting weird. Everyone knew, there was no question about it. Which meant that everyone knew, and no one told you. They didn’t even hint toward anything, and they knew that you were supposed to be marrying the woman who went behind your back and did the unforgivable multiple times.

“We- we’re supposed to be getting married.” The pitiful sentence was all that you could string together in a thought as you looked out of the window at the traffic. You wished that the cars would just go, fly around so that you could cry by yourself. “I don’t even know what to say.” There were a million things happening in your mind at once, and trying not to cry in front of everyone was the biggest effort.

“I’m sorry,” Sharon’s voice said, and she really did sound apologetic. But it wasn’t enough in the moment. You wanted to hear Natasha say it, if all was true. But you knew it was. “We’re all sorry. We were waiting for Romanoff to own up to what she did.” Sharon said, obviously trying not to feel the wrath of you that was surely bubbling beneath the surface.

You could have been angry towards them. You knew that you felt betrayed, by everyone that knew and chose not to speak, that was a no-brainer. You could have been a lot of things at the moment, but there were bigger fish to fry. You clenched your fists and looked at the window, blinking rapidly as you grappled for composure. “Don’t apologize, you didn’t do anything.”

“I don’t think you-”

“I get it. It’s alright. I just prefer not to speak right now, ‘s all.” And conversation ended. But that was when the turmoil in your head and heart started to crank up the energy.

Your first instinct was to bust in there and look for the Black Widow herself, to yell until you lost your voice. Your first instinct was to cause a scene and embarrass her as much as Natasha did to you. You couldn’t believe she had gotten everyone to lie for her. You couldn’t believe that she had an obvious affair with a new agent. You couldn’t believe that you walked around thinking that nothing was wrong while everyone else pitied you behind your back.

Unfortunately, you were quite used to not being enough. Not enough to make it into ivy leagues, not enough to make the track team, not having enough to afford to buy all of your clothes without cringing and thinking about putting some items back. But you were never going to be used to not being enough for Natasha Romanov.

The drive back was the most awkward drive that the four of them had ever been on, without question. You had tears streaming down your face but you were still as silent as the night, just like everyone else. You hardly ever cried. You were always the ray of sunshine and rationality in the tower, and now everything positive had been blown out by the darkness that Natasha created.

When everyone got out of the car, it was sluggishly. Everyone knew what was bound to happen, but it was questionable whether or not the end of the blow out was going to result in settlement or people storming and and leaving. You already knew how it would end.

The second that the elevator landed on you and Natasha’s floor, you shakily thanked the girls for their honesty and walked right out, knowing that it was probably the last time that you would ever be going up in Stark Tower. In your angry fantasy about confronting your fiancée, you imagined storming in and shouting her name, getting her attention and then breaking her down into pieces like the words did to you in the car.

But once you were in your room, you found that the fantasies were just that, and you couldn’t say a word or do a thing but find your suitcase and pack, all the fire leaving your body the second that you saw your room.

You were halfway through gathering everything that was yours in the room that you and Natasha shared, tears streaming down steadily, when you registered that it was real. Natasha had really done the unimaginable, and there was no turning back. A small sob escaped your throat when you saw the sweater you had gotten Natasha hanging up in the closet, the same one that she wore when she got down on one knee for you. Did that mean nothing, too? Was the meaning and emotion of that and everything that led up to it blown to smithereens by something as trivial as two months?

The door flung open. “What are you doing?”

“Don’t talk to me.” You blurted, turning your head to not look at Natasha, trying to avoid her blue gaze. If you looked, you had no doubts that you would turn to stone, and that you would never find the strength to leave the woman who you loved the most and hurt you the most, all within three minutes.

Natasha looked bewildered by the suitcase on the bed. “Are you- are you leaving?”

“What the hell else am I supposed to do?” The temper that was kept just below simmering in the car was finally starting to boil over. “I can’t believe you, Natasha!”

“I-” She sputtered, and you gave her a pointed look in response. “Who told you?”

The question brought fire into your veins. She knew that you knew, because she knew that it was the one secret that had the power to make you so emotional. You two kept no secrets, and for this to be the first? That was painful.

You knew that Natasha would sense your lie about who told you and who didn’t, but you told it anyway. There was no use in causing a riff between the team because they wanted to help you. “I figured it out myself. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Natasha held her hands out in front of her body, and the gesture was so similar to the way that she used to hold her hands out in a silent ask for you to hold them. You hated the way that your heart lurched, and the way that you craved the feeling of her hands even more. “It was an accident.”

An accident? A two month escapade with another woman was an accident?

“After that long ass ride home on the quinjet, you could have at least come up with a better lie.”

“Princessa-”

“I- fuck you.” Your voice cracked in the middle of the explicative, tears falling into the suitcase pitifully. It made your raging temper even worse. “Fuck you.”

“My love-”

“I don’t understand why!” You couldn’t contain the waves of emotion you felt anymore as you slammed the top of the unfinished suitcase closed. “I give you everything I have every single day. Every day. I love you with all of my heart and I do everything I can to make you happy and you give me this? I tried so hard to make sure that we were both happy together, and we were. So, why?”

The look on Natasha’s face wasn’t unfamiliar to you. You knew it well, but it had never been used on you before. It was the look of a spy who didn’t want to say a damn word, silent resistance that you knew would be unbroken. That’s when you knew that you may never know the real reason. And it broke you. “There isn’t a reason.”

You crumbled faster than you ever had before “Natasha, we were- how could you do this to me?” You collapsed into sobs, falling onto the bed and putting your face into your hands. You didn’t know how long you cried for until you felt a hand on your shoulder, very hesitant to even attempt at being comforting. You didn’t have the energy to tell her to fuck off.

“I’m sorry,” Natasha cooed, and for a second, it felt like something was right again. Natasha being gentle was a regular occurrence, a side to the famous ex assassin that only you saw. It was your biggest safety blanket in life. But when she opened her mouth again, you were brought back to why you two were even doing this in the first place. “I didn’t mean for any of it to happen.”

You shook your head out of anger. The fact that the lie was shitty made it worse, made it hurt more. She didn’t even want to come up with a lie that would make you stay?

“Somehow you convinced that poor girl that you were going to be with her. How did you manage to do that on accident? How did you sleep with her multiple times on accident? You lead her on emotionally.”

“No.”

“Yes.” You pushed her hand off of your shoulder. “You told her some pretty little words and she fell for them as most do, right? Like I did, I guess. Just tell me the truth.”

“I didn’t-”

You remembered the way the girl was so distraught. You remembered the amount of tears that she had. You remembered the way that she avoided looking in your eyes, the way that she looked completely heart broken. Just like how you looked. You scoffed. “She told you she loved you, didn’t she?”

Natasha’s light blue eyes were boring into yours as she was silent. For the first time in a while, there was no telling of what Natasha was thinking in your mind. You were disconnected. “Yes.”

The words hurt to get out, but you had to know the answer to them. At any cost. Even at the cost of your own heart and sanity. “And you told her the same.”

There was a thick silence that spanned across multiple frantic heartbeats. “Yes.”

The next words were automatic. “I’m done.” You opened the suitcase again. The tears were coming harder than ever, warping your voice so much that your not Natasha hardly recognized it. “Done.”

“You can’t just-”

“Yes, I can!” You whipped around, eyes nailing Natasha right in her place. “Unless you can give me a good reason for what the hell you did, I’m done.”

Excruciating silence. It struck like lightning on the last tree in a struck down forest.

You turned on your heel, but then, words bubbled up in your throat, and you couldn’t shove them down. “When you miss me after you’re done, don’t come back to me.” Your voice cracked in the middle, but you kept pushing. “When you stop and think about what we could have been, do not come and find me. Because you’ll figure it out one day, and it’ll get through that thick skull.”

Natasha’s eyes were slightly watery as she looked on, taking a few steps forward with on outstretched arm, looking to latch on to you. “Love, please.”

You scoffed and ran out of the door, with nothing but a suitcase and a bag in your hands. You cried all the way to the elevator, ignoring the fact that Wanda and Vision’s room was right there across the hall, and how they without a doubt heard everything. Hell, everyone had heard everything. The argument weren’t exactly quiet.

You cried even harder when the doors of the elevator closed. Your hands shook as you brought them up to your face, remembering far too late that Tony Stark sometimes watched the tapes, especially elevator ones. You couldn’t even bring yourself to care. You turned into yourself and sobbed as your body and head shook, trying to rid herself of everything that happened. You cried more when you realized that you hadn’t meant a word of what you said to Natasha.

Deep down, through all of the emotions, you wanted her to seek you out when she learned her lesson. You didn’t know why, and you knew that you didn’t want it any time soon, but you knew that you wanted it.

It was supposed to be a magical day. The day you got the dress was the day it all became real, the day that solidified the fact that you would be getting married to the woman that you loved. You were heart broken. The familiar sound of the elevator stopping and the doors opening barely snapped you out of your well deserved pity party.

You only took one look at the new arrival, and that was when it was decided that the universe, was indeed, very unkind.

Abigail stood there like a deer in head lights, swallowing and looking with wide eyes, certainly unsure about whether or not she should just leave or apologize and hop in and pretend like she didn’t know what was going on. She looked like she expected confrontation.

Your wobbly smile shocked her. “You don’t have to be scared. Come in.” Your voice was just as shaky as the smile you offered, stepping to the side a bit and giving the other woman enough room.

You felt bad. Abigail was young, even younger than you. There was no way that she knew. No one really resisted the charms of Natasha Romanoff, anyway, and you knew it. Especially not a wide eyed newbie who was desperate to please on her first mission with the big guys, some of the original Avengers. There was no doubt that she felt terrible based on the way that she didn’t look you in the eye, and how she avoided everyone. There was only one person in the wrong, and it wasn’t this poor girl.

The doors dinged as they reached the bottom, and right before they opened, you smiled at her. “It’s okay,” your voice was a strong whisper. “It’s not your fault.” You gave her one look as you wheeled your suitcase out of the elevator, taking long strides to reach the huge front door of the tower, praying for no more interruptions.

“Y/N!”

You didn’t want to stop at all. You knew who’s commanding voice it was, and stopping to talk didn’t seem like an option. You preferred not to talk to anyone on the team, especially not one of the people who went on the mission. You wiped your cheeks and turned around anyway. “Yes?”

Steve stood before you, a sincere expression on his face as he looked you up and down, your obvious and inevitable departure making him wince. “I’m sorry.”

There was nothing that you could really say to him. He wasn’t the point of your anger and he was a friend, even if he had kept something from you. “You’re not the one who did it.”

“I could have told you.”

“No, she should have, a long time before someone else did. You didn’t do anything wrong.” The story of infidelity that happened was Natasha’s story to tell. While you still felt a little more than bitter about being an idiot in the dark about the whole thing, you would have preferred to hear it from her, one hundred percent. “I’m just pissed I found out after buying the perfect dress and veil and all of it. I was so ready.” You felt like a fool.

“I don’t know why she-”

“I don’t know why, either.” You admitted, shaking your head slowly. “But one day, maybe I’ll figure it out.”

“You’re leaving.” Steve saw it as a closed chapter now that you were storming out. Anyone would, but you knew better. You knew how Natasha worked, you knew how you worked, but most importantly, you knew how you two worked together. “You and Natasha- you and Nat are special. I’ve never seen anything like what you two have in my life, no one has. That’s why we’re all so mad. She ruined the one relationship that everyone obviously knows is true love, for no reason.”

“I know.”

He looked guilty for even saying the words. “You’re not going to try and work it out?”

“Don’t you think that I know what we have is special?” You asked him, new tears welling up in your eyes as you spoke. “I’m leaving this to her because I trust her with it. I don’t forgive her, and maybe I never will, but this is for her to decide.”

“What makes you think that she’ll decide right? Or what she’ll even decide at all?”

“She’ll come back.” You stated with certainty, and these were the first words that hadn’t had a crack or wobble in them since you started talking to the red head. “She’ll miss me and she’ll be over the thrill of whatever happened on the mission, and she’ll find me, wherever I decide to go. She’ll come back to me, just like I would come back to her. It could take weeks or years, but she will. That’s how we work.”

Steve was momentarily stunned, but after a few short moments, you knew that you had convinced him. “And you’re willing to wait for her? However long it takes?”

You lifted your lips at him, even more tears building up in your eyes as your answer flew up to your lips without even thinking. “She’ll come and find out.”

You walked away with heavy steps, already feeling her lingering on your skin, and the haunting memories of the two of you as happy as could be swirling around in your head.

§

You were well aware that removing Natasha from your life would hurt. But you never could have anticipated how much it would hurt.

Natasha was the safety net you never knew you needed. She was the one person on earth who made you feel truly wanted, needed even. She knew everything that you required to feel loved and you knew her just the same, and you both did those things. And that’s what made you two different.

You had been cheated on before. That was how Natasha had met you, actually. Your last boyfriend had cheated on you like the dirty dog he was with nearly every woman he was cute enough to be with for a night, and Natasha met you while you were getting hammered at a bar because you found out. Natasha met you at your lowest point and raised you up with all her might, and still had energy to love you. You felt useless and discarded, thrown under the bed and tossed to the side of the road, but she found you and made you something new. She made you her favorite.

§

Natasha was everywhere.

She was in the way that you made your coffee, because you hated it before you met her, and she introduced you to a kind that you liked. You got as addicted to it as you were to her.

She was in the way that you walked around the park at night instead of in the morning like you did before you met her, because she liked looking at the stars together.

She was in the way that you searched for her next to you in your sleep and when you first woke up. She was in the ring you still had. She was in the way you wrote your letter ‘n’ now, because you wrote her notes for years and always made the ‘n’ fancy just for her. It stuck. She was somehow related to every show and every movie and every brand of ice cream, and from the second week of suffering without her, you knew that she would linger on you like a faded tattoo.

During the third week, you swore that you could smell her perfume, though it made no sense. You had done laundry many times, and all of a sudden the smell popped up, like she was dropping in to spray the perfume and then leaving as soon as she came. The rich smell was something that you would never forget, and it hung around like thick smoke in your mind. You wanted it to leave.

You cursed her name all throughout the fourth week of being alone in your small apartment in Brooklyn. Everything was her fault. The washer broke, Natasha somehow did it. If you woke up with makeup still on your face from the past night, Natasha was at fault.

You went shopping during the sixth week, and you swore you saw flashes of her red hair in the grocery line, pitifully walking faster with your cart to both flee and go towards it. A part of you knew that she would never shop this far out, but you couldn’t help it. You missed her. You missed her a lot.

But that didn’t change that it stung so, so badly.

§

It was disgustingly close to what the wedding date would have been when you were lying in bed with a stray cat that you had managed to nurse back to health and call your own about two weeks prior. In a way, it was freeing. Natasha hated animals. They were a responsibility in her mind, nothing more. You loved the cat quickly, and named him Henry.

There were three sharp knocks on the door that you would have taken for strokes of thunder if they weren’t so close. You frowned and stood up, walking to the window to peak outside and see that there was a thunderstorm rolling through, the wind higher than usual and the rain coming down sideways.

You walked to the door with the small cat trailing behind you like a loyal companion. You cracked a smile when he meowed, and you looked through the peep hole, the bright porch light shocking your eye for a second, and then you saw.

Natasha Romanoff was standing there, soaking wet with her arms hanging at her sides, trembling from the cold.

You took two steps back that startled Henry, causing him to meow louder this time. You breathed in, trying to be quiet, but you knew that she knew you were there. She was so trained that you knew she heard you approaching, and when you took your steps away from the door. You both knew each other were there.

You had indirectly told her to seek you out when she was ready, and here she was.

Were you ready?

Like you were a child trying to eavesdrop, you held your breath as you leaned into the door, putting your ear on it as you struggled to hear something, anything, from her. She wasn’t talking. You looked up into the peephole again, and she was looking at her feet, waiting for something to happen. She knew that you were deciding.

You had spent time looking for her in places you knew she would never be, running to and from things that looked like or reminded you of her, and now the real thing stood in your porch light in the rain. She came back to you.

She came back, but that didn’t erase everything that happened. Not at all. Her two months of fun and new experiences acted as the eraser, painting over everything that they had ever done in black paint. The joy of dancing with her under street lights and kissing in Tony’s limos and her hand under your sweatshirt didn’t amount to the pain it felt when she ripped herself from you.

But why did it hurt so much if they weren’t the same amount of emotion, if not more? If you looked at it with a rational mind, was the joy not worth more than the pain?

The pain weighed like bricks. There was one big brick that weighed half a ton on one scale, nearly tipping the other side.

But the joy? It weighed like clouds, because that’s what joy was. It was the feeling of being above the clouds. And you found that every moment of joy that you had Natasha, even though it was the weight of clouds, still outweighed the fat brick.

But were all of the cloud moments enough to possibly take another brick?

Your hand moved before you knew it, and you were undoing the chain and unlocking the door, yanking it open roughly and staring her down.

She was shocked. Her eyes were wide as she stared at you without any barriers, automatic tears welling up. Had she come all that way to not even know whether or not you would answer? Hell, you had done all of that while in limbo with yourself.

But now, without even knowing how Natasha truly felt, without even hearing one word from her mouth, you knew something changed.

“I knew you’d come back.”

[littlebigmouse]

TMA MAG 63

Man, there's too many bloody cults in here and I cannot keep them all straight. Anyway, that sounds like the darkness cult, right? They hung out in empty churches as well, no?

More importantly: Who is Georgie and was Jon genuinely friends with someone who runs a spook youtube channel and please tell me he helped out in an episode. I'm HERE for this backstory.

Also a distracting amount of new characters! There seems to be a new girl working - in the archives? Or maybe with Rose(?) at the front desk? Also Whoever Diana is. Yes, she runs the library, but now I do wonder of the set up of the whole Institute. They have an archive, with a head archivist and several archival assistants. They also have a research department that collaborates with universities, which I assume also features the library. Artefact storage could be a seperate organisational department or could be just run by the archivists too. But where is the research department and the library? I never thought to ask, but how many people were traumatized by the worms in S1? I know the building was evacuated early on, but I am suddenly deeply amused by the archives simply being located in the basement of an otherwise regular, lively building.

Imagine one of the library workers comes into the archives to make a statement about "you archivist creeps. I have no idea what's going on but since the worms it's been clear you've been getting up to real spooky shit by yourselves. Here's a few things we've noticed and also a bunch of restraining orders we want put up because honestly, the assistant with the scissorhands is pushing it." - "Michael?!" - "Yeah, that's what he said his name was. Anyway, real usefull during Marion's retirement party, way less useful when you're trying to hand him a stack of books to help you reshelf" - "Listen to me very carefully. We do not have an assistant named Michael. He's a supernatural entity that haunted Sascha and stabbed me" - "Not like you don't deserve it" - "What was that?" - "Nothing! So you're saying Michael is evil?" - "I'm saying I saw him make a woman disappear with my own two eyes and I am frankly freaked out by the fact that none of you librarians and researchers are dead yet. When did you see him, exactly?" - "Every tuesday and friday for library wide coffee breaks." - "You've got to be kidding me" - "I thought he was strange but like I said, you archive people are strange anyway! Next you'll tell me Mary from accounting is a serial killer or something" - "..." - "Oh fuck off Jon. I knew I shouldn't have come to the basement people" - "Is that really what everyone has been calling us" - "Tim's face used to be so pretty. Now you can fit fingers into the circles under his eyes. Y'all suck the joy out of everything." - "This place is literally haunted with horrors beyond our comprehension." - "I know Jon, I work in a library and my Latin is passable at best."

(that got away from me).

Wait, is Elias head of the Institute, or just head of the department? I thought he's just the head of the department, but if he's the head of the institute... UHM. What.

That doesn't actually change anything, I don't think. Only something about my perceived sense of responsibility for this guy? Ugh. Idk.

Oh right!

I'd originally meant to point out how Melanie reacted kind of weird to Sascha's name? If she didn't know her (which I don't think she would, given she's been there once), then why not just say so? Or why bring it up at all?

Are all the other new character mentions a distraction? Is Sascha a distraction? I'm sitting in front of a puzzle in the shape of a whole bunch of pretty women and can't make sense of it or even tell which one's real and which one's I'm supposed to know.

This is the tumblr porn bots all over again.

[melipetals]

shippy questions @scarlxtleaves​ : ♥ kazuha x lumi

What emotionally attracted you towards them? “Can I say everything? Because I think everything about him is so amazing. He treats me really well, we’re on the same wavelength, we travel together, we eat together, tell stories.. He never judges me, he always listens and is genuinely interested in what I have to say, my feelings, my thoughts... Of course he also saved my life, but that’s just one of the many things that attracts me to him.”

What’s their best physical attribute? "His voice. - Uhm, does that count? I love listening to him, I love hearing his poems or really anything he tells me. I always feel at peace when his soft voice wraps around me like a warm blanket. Even when he teases me, I can’t help feel comfortable with him. ...Hehe, I sound so silly, don’t I?”

Was it love at first sight? "I would say, it wasn’t? But only because I don’t believe in that. Attraction at first sight, of course. But something like love needs time to develope. You have to feed it and nurse it so it can grow. Today... yes, I love him. Very much.”

When did a crush develop? “Very quickly... Probably during the first couple of days on the Alchor when we were sailing over to Inazuma.”

When did you realize that you’ve fallen in love? “It was such a mundane situation... It was after he came to aid the rebellion in the fight on Watatsumi Island. We were just strolling along the beach and I picked this Sea Ganoderma for him. The way he smiled at me over such a silly little thing.. I realized I lost my heart to him. It wasn’t until later though that I actually told him.”

Is there anything that they do that bothers you? “To be completely honest, sometimes it annoys me that he always knows where I am and that he hears literally anything. I can’t spook him or surprise him... Yeah, sometimes he acts surprised but I know he’s really not.”

What are their thoughts on marriage? “Oh, well... uhm, I don’t think we ever discussed this.. I’m not sure if he’d want to get married at all. In his past, it was surely on his path, being the heir to his clan and all, but now that he doesn’t carry this burden anymore.. I’m not sure if he’d want that.”

What are your thoughts on marriage? “Mine? E-ehm... I mean... ehehe... Some day.. I would like to get married, yes. Isn’t that weird? When I was travelling with Aether, I never felt the need for a partner for life, since, well, my brother was the one by my side. But now that I met Kazuha... I don’t want to be apart from him. I know he would never force me to stay in Teyvat, he would want me to go my own way... but.. I want to go my way with him from now on... Married or not, I want to be by his side..”

[drspencerweed]

Safer to Kiss

Summary: [Y/N] is new to the BAU, and Spencer’s avoidance of handshakes backfires a bit.

WC: 2073

Content: fluffiest fluff, mentions of kidnapping/violence (typical bau stuff)

A/N: I haven’t written fluff for Spencer yet, so I hope y’all like this! 

Masterlist

read on ao3

I wasn’t nervous about my first day at the BAU. Sure, it would make sense if I was, but I had been working my entire career to get on this team. It was where I belonged, and I knew it. My interview process with Hotch had been a breeze, and I was ready to start the next step of the process: working my first case with the team. It was just preliminary, I was still in my probationary period, but I knew it was going to go well. I was over prepared for this job. 

So I wasn’t nervous. I was ready. I met Hotch in his office that morning, ready to do paperwork until a case came in. But he greeted me with a nod and held up a case file. 

“Round table, now.” He said, and I followed him out into the bullpen. The rest of the team was already in the room, waiting for us. 

“Hello everyone. Meet a potential new member of our team, Agent [Y/N] [Y/L/N]. She’ll be joining us on this case in a probationary manner.” Hotch introduced, and I was greeted with six smiling faces. Immediately I was drawn to the most attractive man in the room. He was sitting down, but I could tell he was tall, lanky. His hair swept over his forehead perfectly. I didn’t let my attention linger there for long however, as I didn’t want to make my attraction obvious. Luckily, one of the other agents jumped in and turned me away. 

“Derek Morgan.” The muscular man to my right said, holding out a hand. I shook it with a smile. 

“David Rossi.” The next man said, again holding out a hand. Around the table they went, introducing themselves. Agent Jennifer Jareau, JJ. Agent Emily Prentiss. Penelope Garcia. Then finally - the man who had so quickly caught my eye. 

“Spencer Reid.” He said with a nod. 

“Doctor Spencer Reid.” Morgan corrected with a nudge. Reid rolled his eyes, and a flush reached his cheeks. It was cute. And he was a doctor? I might have found my dream man. 

“Nice to meet you,” I greeted, holding out a hand to shake. His flush grew deeper, and he cleared his throat. 

“The number of pathogens passed during a handshake is staggering. It's actually safer to kiss.” He informed me, nodding and smiling. I retracted my hand with a smirk. 

“If you wanted to kiss me, you could just say so.” It was out of my mouth before I could help it, the snarky retort something that I would say to any one of my friends. But I probably shouldn’t say it to someone who is technically a superior. I shut my mouth quickly and cleared my throat. Morgan let out a loud laugh, and Garcia chuckled. Reid looked shocked, his face turning a bright red and his eyes going wide. He started stuttering. 

“I-I wasn’t, that’s not-” 

“Pretty boy, stop while you’re ahead.” Morgan teased. Hotch looked at all of us disapprovingly, while Prentiss, Garcia, and JJ all smirked at Reid. 

“Sorry,” Reid coughed into his hand, “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He said, looking me right in the eye. I smiled at him. 

“You didn’t.” I sat down in the only seat available, between Reid and Morgan. “Pretty boy?” I asked Morgan. Reid tried to jump in to defend himself but Morgan held up a hand to stop him. 

“I mean, am I wrong?” Morgan teased. I looked back at Reid and gave him a deliberate once-over while he blushed. It seemed he hadn’t stopped blushing since I walked in the door. Before I could answer, Hotch cleared his throat. 

“Garcia, let’s get started.” 

Reid avoided making eye contact with me throughout the whole briefing. The only time he so much as looked at me was when I brought up the fact that the unsub’s overkill could be related to abuse in his own past. He only looked at me to bring up a statistic about how most serial killers who use overkill actually know their victims. I realized I may have taken the joke too far. 

I was determined to make him more comfortable around me, as I worried that my statement from earlier had intimidated him. Even if nothing happened between the two of us, I needed him to like me. I wanted the whole team to accept me. 

~~~~

The case went swimmingly. We caught the bad guy and saved the man he had kidnapped just in the nick of time. For the entire week we had been working on the case, Reid and I had spent very little, if any, time alone. It was like he was actively avoiding me. Morgan called him ‘Pretty boy’ very often, and I learned it was just something they did. And I completely agreed with him, Reid was a very, very, pretty boy. I had to work hard to keep my eyes off of him when we were working in groups. He was just so attractive, and every rambling statistic spew made me more and more attracted to him. 

I was developing a devastating crush, and fast. 

We were boarding the plane to go home, and I purposefully sat across from Reid. Everyone else petered off to take naps, and quickly fell asleep, but not Reid. He took out a hefty novel and began reading at his exponential pace. I watched him for a few moments before taking out my laptop and browsing the internet. After I was sure everyone else on the flight was deep asleep, I shut my laptop and sighed. 

Reid looked up at the sound, and met my eyes. He made a questioning face. “Is something wrong?” He asked, lowering his book. 

“No, I just wanted to apologize.” 

“For what?” He seemed shocked, and closed his book and put it to the side. 

“For what I said at the round table. I know it made you uncomfortable, and you’ve been avoiding me this week because of it. I didn’t mean to come on so strong.” I said. His eyebrows raised, and a flush started climbing up his throat. I quickly realized the implications of what I said, and began back-tracking. “Not that I was trying to come on to you, in any way, but uhm. I especially didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” 

Reid nodded and took a moment to take in what I said. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable.” I could tell it was a true statement. He still wouldn’t meet my eyes, his hands twisted into each other on the table, and he seemed endlessly intrigued by their movement. But even with his body language betraying him I could hear the sincerity in his voice. 

“But you have been avoiding me?” I smirked slightly as I said it. I noticed his absence of a denial to that specific accusation. He bit down around a smile at my call out. He looked up to meet me in the eye for the first time since we met. The hazel was striking. I smirked at him. 

“I guess you could say that.” He said, letting his lips turn up. “But not for the reasons you think.” 

“For what reasons then?” I asked, intrigued. I couldn’t think of any other reason he would be avoiding me. His flush travelled up his neck to his cheeks. He coughed slightly and glanced up at me. He still wouldn’t meet my eyes, his eyes falling on my lips and then going back to his hands. 

“You-” He started but cut himself off, bunching his lips together nervously. I chuckled a little and gave him an inquisitive glance. 

“Go on, I’m curious.” I prompted. He smiled and shook his head almost imperceptibly, but I caught it. He mumbled something under his breath, speaking so fast and so low that I couldn’t make it out. I quirked my head to the side, leaning forward in my seat. “What was that?” 

“I said, uhm. You make me nervous.” He confessed, meeting my eyes quickly and then looking away again. I sat back in shock. Me? Make this man nervous? He was a literal genius, surely he knew how attractive he was. Not that I thought he was out of my league, by any means, but I expected him to be fairly confident in himself. For christ’s sake, his best friend called him ‘Pretty Boy’ more than he used his name. And yet, there was proof in front of me that the confidence I assumed he had was non existent. 

“Am I that loud?” I asked with a laugh, trying to deflect what I thought he meant by ‘nervous’. He was attracted to me, wasn’t he? I hadn’t yet decided what I wanted to do with that information. It would make sense to ask him out, but I kind of liked the idea of teasing him without his knowledge. He seemed easy to fluster, and I loved flustering people. 

He burst out laughing at that, shaking his head in disbelief. “No, no. It has nothing to do with loudness. You’re just, uhm. I’m not used to people like you.” 

“People like me?” 

He coughed into his hand and licked his lips. “Pretty. Confident. Forward.” He listed the adjectives quickly, counting them on his fingers. I smirked at his admission. 

“So you think I’m pretty?” I smirked. He stuttered, trying to backtrack, but he knew he had been caught out.

“I-I just, yes, of course! But not like.... you’re objectively attractive! And subjectively, of course, but it’s not to say that I- that you-” He stammered out. I kept smirking at him as he dug himself a bigger hole. Finally I took mercy on him, reaching across the table and placing a hand over his. 

“It’s fine, Reid. I think you’re objectively and subjectively attractive, too.” I said with a smile. His eyes shot up to meet mine, his hand flexing underneath my grip. 

“Y-You do?” My heart melted for the sweet boy in front of me. How could he not know how attractive he was? He started on another rant. “I know that, scientifically, I have good bone structure, but I’m quite awkward which usually discredits whatever symmetry my face has.” I reached out and grabbed one of his hands in mine. It barely spooked him and he kept rambling. “More symmetrical faces are typically perceived as more attractive, but you probably already knew that.” He kept glancing between my eyes and our hands. Our fingers weren’t interlaced but our palms were pressed together. 

“I did know that. I also know that you’re cute.” I squeezed his hand when he shook his head with a small smile. Suddenly I realized that our hands being together went against his no handshake rule. I went to pull away with a muttered, “Sorry-” But he just squeezed back and held me there. 

“You really think I’m cute?” He asked skeptically.

I smiled widely. “Yes, I do.” His eyebrows raised and he shook his head in disbelief. I simply grinned at him as he tried to wrap his head around the idea that I could possibly be attracted to him. It was such a sweet sentiment it made me blush. I leaned forward in my seat a bit and reached out for his other hand. I was feeling bold. “So are you gonna ask me on a date or would you rather me do it?” 

He smirked up at me shyly. “Would you like to get dinner with me when we get back?” He asked, interlacing our fingers. 

“I’d love that.” I answered, squeezing his hand. The smile he gave me was so bright and brilliant it made my own face light up. 

“Yes, Pretty Boy, get some!” Morgan said from next to us, apparently not as asleep as I had thought. I laughed out loud as Spencer flushed down to his neck. Morgan smirked and winked at the two of us. 

Our fingers stayed interlaced throughout the rest of the flight as we talked in hushed tones and got to know each other. Every word out of his mouth made me fall a little deeper, a little faster. It was way too soon to call it love, but I knew it could get there. The little seed in my heart was growing exponentially, and the way his thumb danced over my skin didn’t help it.

A/N: Thanks for reading! I always appreciate likes/reblogs/comments/etc! Also if you’d like to be added to my taglist just message me or comment on this! (If you’ve made it this far here’s a secret: there might be a sequel to this fic if enough people want it :)) 

taglist: @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto​ @rusticreid​

[little-honeypie]

Loch-hearted

The mighty Hunter Vanguard, Cayde-6 finishes off his 'great' and 'inspirational' speech with everyone gathered round cheering at the thought of loot. You shake your head, pushing your way through the crowd to the edge where your few personal items reside neatly packed into or laid beside your backpack. The crowd disperses and the fireteams pair up. You can't help but think about yours, where they are and if they're even alive. The thought turns your stomach over, making the colour drain from your face as you worry over your treasured dumbasses. Though most see you as the 'lone wolf' or antisocial type and, to be fair, you are. Mostly. Those who dare get close tend to find out you're mostly bark and little bite. You reach down into a side pocket of your bag, carefully dragging a knife from its holster. You look over it, gently tracing the engravings in the blade made by one of the hunters on your team. It says something in a language you can't read and knowing the hunter that gave it to you, you probably don't want to know but at least it looks aesthetically pleasing. You hear a shuffle of footsteps directly behind you and without thinking, you spin on your heels, thrusting the knive's blade towards where you estimate your opponent's throat to be but simply stab something solid. They yell and jump back. Cayde! He rubs his chest with a whine.

"I woulda expected this from one of my hunters, not one of Ikora's nerds!"

He exclaims. Your face regains its colour but only to defy you and show how embarrassed you are from almost potentially killing the hunter vanguard. You lean forward, bowing and apologizing profusely. He laughs, looking at you with consideration.

"Just came over 'ere caaause you weren't headin out or pairin up."

He unholsters his hand cannon, the Ace of Spades with a flashy twirl.

"Came to kill ya unless ya got an excuse."

You stare at him like a deer in the headlights.

"I uhm... I was about to head out..."

He snorts.

"And your fireteam?"

You look to your feet. He opens his mouth to speak, then closes his mouth.

"Riiigght... Are you a newlight, guardian?"

You shake your head.

"Alive for two years, sir."

"Good good, and 'sir'? I like that."

He grabs his chin in thought.

"I like that A LOT."

He repeats. He hums, thinking it over. Obviously not thoroughly.

"Alright, it's decided."

You tilt your head.

"What's decided?"

"You. You're decided."

Your brows come together to form a concerned frown.

"I'm decided?"

"Yup, you're on my fireteam now."

You blink at the Exo.

"What?"

"What's what? You're on my team now with Ikora, speaking of Ikora, where is Ikora? Ikora!"

He wanders away shouting and looking for your vanguard, leaving you to gawk at what just happened. You grab your bag, throwing your arms through the straps and picking up anything you didn't pack away. You run after him to keep up but you keep losing sight of him through the bundles of lightless guardians. You whine. He's a vanguard. And though not awfully serious about his job, defying him even accidentally could end you up in trouble! You look around through the various exo faces but can't find him anywhere. Your heart rate picks up. Where'd he go? Was he joking about you being on his fireteam? Your head clouds with millions of different thoughts, none the same, all colliding with one another. You feel your cheeks and the tips of your ears burn as tears threaten to escape down your face. You hear your ghost's voice softly telling you that you'll be ok and there's no need to stress but you can't help it. You just want to run away and hide. You feel a hand grip your left shoulder firmly and spin you around.

"Eyyyyy, Guardian! Lost ya there, also lost Ikora but found yo- Guardian, are you crying?"

It's Cayde's turn to be the deer in the headlights now because he stares, blinking at you with a shocked look. He gently places his other hand on your right shoulder.

"Hey..."

He says softly as if he were speaking to an animal or child.

"You alright? Did one of those big mean titans say something to you? I'll fight em, you know."

You shake your head, not meeting his gaze. He looks around awkwardly.

"Uhhh, look, we gotta get civilians out buuuut uhhh... Come, come."

He lets you go, spinning on his heels and slipping into the crowd again. Your stomach spins with anxiety, making you sick as you quickly push past guardians. This time you can see the Hunter vanguard but he's still moving too fast. You reach forward, just managing to grab hold of the hem of his cloak to keep track of him. He turns to see who or what has his cloak, thinking it's a potential thief. He stares at you once again, looking from you to your hand that holds his cloak. He tilts his head for a moment before chuckling.

"Ah."

He gently swats you from his cape and offers you his hand, his faceplates move to give you a soft smile of sorts.

"No more running off then."

He says genuinely. You take his hand in yours.

"Well, now we just run off together."

He jokes, coaxing a grin from you. You round up as many groups of civilians and lightless guardians as you can without being detected by Cabal and herd them from the city to safety. Ikora and Zavala are M.I.A and the vanguard radio channels are silent, some are filled with riddles and codes that you, nor your ghost can decipher. Despite feeling helpless, at least you have Cayde by your side. He reminds you of your hunters or maybe they remind you of him, either way, you can't help but think about them. The anxiety plagues your dreams, waking you up gasping for air with your hair sticking to your face from your cold sweat. Cayde springs to his feet, weapon drawn, spooked by you.

"What is it, guardian?"

He asks, looking around for any sign of danger. You breathe deeply to calm your nerves before shaking your head.

"Nightmares... Sorry."

You sigh, lifting your hand to your chest to feel how fast your heart is going as if it will help. He stows his weapon and takes a seat beside you, pulling his knees to his chest as he looks at you from the corner of his optics.

"What about?"

He asks.

"Of course, I understand if ya don't wanna talk about it but hey, I've been told I'm really good at comforting people."

You half laugh, wiping sleep from your eyes.

"Uhm... I dunno, it's kind of a cluster fuck... At first I'm with my fireteam and I hear the sound of a ketch when they're all gunned down around me and I can't do anything... Then, I'm where I was originally resurrected..."

You copy his positioning, pulling your knees to your chest, resting your arms along them and then your chin. He tilts his head to watch your face.

"And... Where were you ressed, Guardian?"

You close your eyes with a cringe and a sigh.

"I originally woke up in a submarine at the bottom of the ocean, surrounded by my half decayed... Crewmates? I don't know what we were but I think we were military of some sort..."

You feel your nails dig into your skin as you tell your story.

"There was little oxygen and I couldn't just transmat out... Let's just say no amount of ressing will teach you how to swim... It was rough to say the least."

He hesitates for a moment before placing a gentle hand on your back and slowly rubbing it in a soothing gesture.

"Well, you don't have to do any swimming, like, at all. Promise. Only kinda swimming we'll do is swim in the loot we get after we win this war, alright?"

You chuckle.

"C'mere, you'll sleep better if ya got a big strong hunter to sleep on, warlock. Careful, I have a lot of knives, I miiiight be pointy."

He jokes as he pulls you carefully against him. You've read the leaked bits of fanfiction he's written about a hunter and warlock, maybe he's romanticising the situation but you don't quite care. Whether he is or not, it's kinda comforting. He lies back beside your sleeping bag while you stretch your limbs out from your previous foetal position and rest your head on his chest. You hear the 'bud-um, bud-um' of his robotic heart. You listen silently to the steady rhythm for a while, closing your eyes and simply taking the sounds of the exo in

"I didn't know you had a heart." You tiredly mumble. He laughs grogily.

"Thanks."

He says sarcastically.

"Noooooo"

You whine.

"I didn't mean it like that... I didn't know exo's had hearts... I don't know what I thought you had though..."

He brings his hand up and gently combs through your messy and knotted hair.

"Eyes down, guardian, I got you."

He mumbles. Over the past few days he's done nothing but poke fun and be overly annoying but his words make your stomach twist and turn which confuses you greatly because it's not... In a bad way. You let out a sigh, nuzzling your face tiredly against him. He smells like grease, gun powder and a strange mixture of spices that all burn your nose very slightly but you don't mind.

As the early morning rays just reach their fingers of light over the hill you're both perched on, you wake wrapped in the exo's cloak. You yawn as a shiver runs through your body and you draw the worn material closer. Cayde's arms are still snaked around you. You lift your head and look to your fire that has long since gone out. It's cold. You should get some more wood. You carefully and slowly get up, doing your best to not disturb the vanguard. You carefully set his cloak over him. As you step away from your half assed campsite, he groans lightly.

"Where are you goin?"

He asks groggily.

"Just out to get some firewood, I won't be long, promise."

He hums tiredly as he rolls over.

"Don't go too far."

He mumbles. You don't have to walk far to find sticks and wood but none of it's dry due to the early morning dew. You groan and move deeper into the forest in hopes to find dry wood. Even a little would do just to get it going. You stumble over a few tree roots, falling on to your hands and knees with a yelp. You laugh at yourself. Warlocks are supposed to be the most graceful of all classes but you are an absolute clutz. You dust yourself off, clutching what sticks and wood you've collected with a weak grip due to the cold having worked it's way into your fingers. 'Maybe I can get a fire going' you think. 'I'll just use my solar abilities and- oh, right.' No powers. You groan. How did Cayde get it going last night? He probably has a lighter or something. Oh well. Your mind wanders to Cayde. Why does he treat you the way he does? You'd met previously but only brief conversations, a handful of bounties and then some loot exchange but that's about it. Sure, you've always found him intriguing and by all means, attractive but he could've talked to anyone from that crowd but he singled you out. You weren't the only solo guardian there. Why you? Why did he choose you of all guardians? There were older, more experienced guardians and hunters! Why did he choose a small warlock like you? You're distracted by the thoughts until you hear the crunching of footsteps surrounding you. You look up and around. Oh god, what's there? It could just be deer! But it's never that simple... You groan.

"Alright, whatever you are, just... Lemme go. I don't wanna hurt you. Just lemme go light my fire."

You squint at the bushes around you, trying to make out what it is when bright blue eyes stare back at you. And lots of them. Fallen. A small Fallen squadron has surrounded you. Great. You step back only to hear one of the Dregs call to the others. This can't be good. They step from the shadows and into the light that barely squeezes past the leaves of the trees. There's a captain, a handful of dregs and one wretch.

"Please, grant me passage."

You plead to no avail.

"We are alike, the great machine has been taken from the both of us, please do not fight me."

They simply stare at you, chattering occasionally to one another as they wait for you to move. You sigh, moving to step around the captain that looms above you only for him to swing at you. You move back with ease, avoiding the hit only to back up into the arms of a dreg, you stamp it's foot and when it lets go, you drop your wood, spin around and punch it out. More advance. You take out a few more, completely distracted from the Captain before you feel his claws wrap tightly around your upper arms. His lower arms wrap around your stomach tightly, squishing you until it hurts. You yell in pain from his iron grip. He laughs as his one and only Wretch approaches, arc spear drawn and buzzing with electricity. You kick, flail and do whatever you can to get free but it's no use.

"Get the fuck away from me!!"

You yell as the wretch thrusts it's spear into your thigh. You scream so loud that it echoes back in the valley around you. Your body convulses involuntarily from the arc running through it. 'This is it.' you think as you quickly start to reach your limit. You close your eyes. All you can hear is their sick, twisted laughter and the zap of the electric weapon before a loud shot rings out and the arc spear is pulled from your leg, tearing your flesh with it. You squeal but give a very slight sigh of relief before you dare to open your eyes to see the wretch dead on the ground, head missing from its shoulders. There's another shot and suddenly the captain's grip is completely gone. The Fallen drops to the ground, dead. You collapse with a loud whimper, unable to support your own weight. Your hunter companion is at your side. You hear him say... Something. Whatever it was, you can't make it out. He reaches for you but flinches back when he gets zapped. Your eyes flicker open, then closed over and over as you fight for consciousness. Blood pours from your thigh. Though the spear cauterized the wound it inflicted though, when it was pulled out, it pulled the flesh it had adhered to out with it, opening the wound. Cayde grips the wound tightly in attempt to stop the bleeding which only makes you mewl with what little consciousness you have left. He lets go, carefully looping his arms underneath your back and legs and carries you back to the campsite. He lays you down on his sleeping bag because it's not like you could make it anymore dirty. He frantically digs into your bag in hopes that you have some sort of medical supplies and luckily enough, you have a travel sized medkit stashed in the bottom of your backpack. He scoots close to you, fumbling open the case and digging through, grabbing a small bottle of disinfectant and a bandage roll.

"This is gonna hurt."

He says as warning but you can barely hear him. He twists off the cap and pours it over your wound, making you squirm and groan with what little strength you have left. He shushes you softly as he ties the bandage around your leg tightly. You feel your head fall to the side as unconsciousness wins the fight over your body. You wake to a throbbing pain that courses through your body. You see Cayde sitting by you, hugging his knees to his chest and staring into the fire that he got going. You grunt and sit up only for your head to spin and be grabbed by your hunter companion and pushed back down.

"You're not ready for that, Nessy. You'll hurt yourself if you do that."

You reach your hand to your head as if it will stop the ache and the spinning but surprisingly enough, it has no effect! A sigh escapes your lips.

"How long have I been out?"

You ask.

"All day."

He says dismissively.

"All day?!"

You sit up suddenly again only to get the same results as last time.

"Guardian, are you TRYING to kill yourself? Cause you're going the right way about it."

You whine.

"We were supposed to move camp today."

He scoffs.

"Yeah, well we can't do that, can we? Not in your condition..."

You frown but you know he's right.

"How does it look? Cause it feels greeeeat."

You say sarcastically. He chuckles.

"I changed the bandage a few hours ago. You should heal fine but we needa work on getting our light back."

"I'll get right on it."

He looks at you with an amused expression.

"Well come on, chop chop, hero! Ya shoulda done it by now!"

You share a laugh, quickly falling into silence. You slowly reach out to him, only just being able to reach his hip. You tug gently on his form fitting shirt for his attention. He looks from your hand to you.

"Guardian! I don't think you're in shape for something like that!"

He says jokingly. You frown, confused by his words before it sinks in. Your face goes bright with embarrassment.

"Not what I wanted!!"

You say defensively, making him snort and laugh. He sighs fondly, scooting close to you and carefully pulling you to him, he's so gentle as if he's scared a touch too harsh could kill you right here, right now.

"Is this what you wanted, Nessy?"

He asks knowingly. You extend your arm over his broad chest and rest your head against him, mumbling some sort of affirmation. You sigh contently before a question pops into your mind.

"Cayde?"

He hums curiously.

"What do you mean by Nessy?"

He chuckles.

"Well, you WERE stuck at the bottom of the ocean..."

Well, that didn't help.

"You DO know the pre-golden age myth, right?"

What? You think about the golden age and pre-golden age myths and tales you have read about and know... Ah! The Loch Ness Monster! You lie in silence.

"Are you call me a monster, Mr 6?"

He laughs with a scoff.

"I dunno, are you a monster?"

"... I don't think so."

"Welp! Then I'm not calling you a monster."

You snicker.

"You know you just... Made a nickname out of my trauma, right?"

He hums in acknowledgement.

"But dooooes that upset you?"

"Well, no but-"

"Then it's fine, Nessy."

You go to speak only to close your mouth. He's right you guess. Though you were curious of the 'Nessy' name, it's not quite the question you really wanted to ask. At least talking with him has distracted you from the pain. You feel anxiety bubbling up in your stomach as your face starts to get hot. He tilts his head down to look at you. You see him reach over, gripping the base of his glove and quickly removing it and putting the back of his hand to your forehead.

"Cayde?"

"You're kinda hot, Nessy. And your heart is beating pretty fast."

How does he know? Are you sick? Oh God, does he know what you want to ask him? Does he know that you're head over heels for the stupid hunter vanguard? No. You haven't told anyone that. Are exos psychic? No. That's not how they work. Is it? You don't know jack shit about exos so maybe it is! You can't help but over thinking a million different ways this could go within seconds. He tilts his head curiously as he gently strokes your cheek with his knuckles which snaps you from your thoughts.

"What are you thinking about, Ness?"

He asks quietly and genuinely. You stare for a moment before looking elsewhere, embarrassed.

"Uhm..."

Your voice cracks.

"I just uh... Why did you choose me of all guardians? There were so many people there and Ikora was there. Why... Why did you... Why me?"

He scoffs lightly before sighing, staring up at the stars above.

"I've had my eye on you for a while."

Your heart sinks.

"Why..?"

You ask in a voice that's barely a squeak.

"Cause Ikora wouldn't shut up about ya!"

He chuckles.

"Guardian this, my Warlock that! So, I had to see for myself. I may or may not have done recon on you a few times aaaaand I realised you uh... Well if Ikora liked you so much for so long then you'd be a good person to have on my fireteam... And so when I saw you, fireteamless, I uh... I took my chance."

You feel... Weird about his answer. It's an answer you were kind of expecting and yet... You can't help but feel some what hurt. Obviously not as hurt as you physically are but hurt none the less.

"Oh."

Is all you manage. He sighs.

"AAAAnd... I mean, I was gonna ask when we actually won the war and weren't in the wilds buuuut IIIII wanted to know if you wanted to get ramen. Your treat of course."

[aliasimagines]

One Hell of a Night // Luke Patterson

a/n: HAPPY HALLOWEEN Y'ALL, it officially passed midnight here.Are you guys going to celebrate Halloween at home? And if so are you going to dress up? Tell me all about it lovelies, I wanna hear it ❤️. prompt 18 nad 15 from this list🎃 this fic is chaotic, hope you enjoy😊

word count: 2692

warnings: a few (three i think?) curse words, and a..uhm a line of dirty talking (I'm sorry I'm not like this all the time I promise 😅) and scary stories

The dry, colorful autumn leaves creaked under hiking boots as you walked into the woods. A smile appeared on your face as you heard some noises. Only a few seconds later you spotted the source. The Sunset Curve. The boys worked on getting the campfire lit while joking and laughing loudly. You stopped by a tree and leaned against it. Alex just hit Reggie on the back for just sitting around and not helping with putting logs and dry leaves on the fireplace. Thanks to Alex, Reggie swallowed the huge marshmello he had in his mouth and started coughing. 

Bobby was trying to light his lighter again and again but it just didn't work. That's when Luke threw a pack of matches at him causing the rhythm guitarist to stumble back and fall into a pile of leaves. You started laughing quietly and walked up to them.

"That wasn't nice of you, babe." you said from behind Luke. He jumped, not noticing you creeping up on him.

"BAH! I almost got a heart attack, y/n!" he shouts pouting. You giggled and placed a small kiss on his cheek. 

"That's what you get for not waiting for me." you smirk. Luke looks down embarrassed and goes to scrape the back of his head. 

"Yeah…Sorry about that. I was too eager to set up the camp." he gestured at the two tents. Both were full of blankets and pillows. It looked super comfortable. You also spotted his acoustic guitar, and a whole bunch of food in you guys' tent. 

"You did a great job."you smiled before walking over to the other boys." Hi guys! What's up?"

"Y/N! Finally! Tell Alex to stop hitting me!" yelled Reggie. You shook your head laughing. 

“Stop being so childish than Reginald!”

“Boys, come on!! It is halloween, have some fun!” and with that you fished out a huge bag of candy from your backpack and threw it into Reggie’s hands. He looked up at you like you were some kind of miracle maker. 

“Is this..is this all candy?” the dark haired boy asked, still in awe. You laughed, nodding your head slightly. 

“Yeah. I don’t really want to think about how much money I spent on sweets.” 

Soon after everyone got to work (this time for real) and the fire was lit in no time. Just as it started to get darker. All five of you sat around the campfire. You sat next to Luke, opposed to  Reggie and Alex. Bobby sat beside them in a camping chair. Thanks to the warm californian weather you didn’t need jackets just yet, despite being the end of october.

"It's getting dark. I think we could get started on the ghost stories?" asked Bobby looking up at the sky then around the little clearing in the woods where your tents were set up. Reggie munched on some candy corns but immediately stopped upon hearing those words. 

"Ghost stories? Don't mind if I do." he sat his candies aside and prepared to tell a story that would send shivers down your spines. You leaned over to Luke, placing your head on his shoulder. He looked down at you with a smile before turning his attention back to the bassist. 

"One day, a little boy, while walking around the woods, found a big toe on the ground. He ran home with it and-" 

"-his mom cooked it in the soup which revolted in the toe's owner haunting them." you suddenly cut Reggie off. He gasps, offended. 

"What? I knew the story. Was I supposed to just sit around?" you ask, earning a soft laugh from Luke. Reggie huffed and gestured at you. 

"Alright then, take it away y/n. See if you can do better."

"Not to be that person but she definitely can. You only said like two sentences." Alex jumped in, not wanting to miss an opportunity to roast his friend. 

"Because she cut me off!!" 

The woods, once again erupted with the boys' laughter as you stared into the fire, waiting for them to quiet down so you can start your story. 

"I was only a small kid when this happened, around five,maybe six, but I still remember it like it was yesterday. My mother was out of town for the weekend because of her work, so naturally, it was my father who read me a bedtime story in the evening. Everything was great, he was reading from my favorite book but right before he could finish the chapter we heard a quiet tapping noise from downstairs. My father looked puzzled and put his finger against his lips, signaling me to stay quiet so he could listen. The tapping didn't stop, it got louder before turning into banging and a final loud crash which sounded like the front door flying open. I looked at my father, scared to death, not knowing what to do." you kept your voice low, your face straight and never removed your eyes from the fire."He grabbed me and quickly ran with me to the small bathroom that was connected to my room. He instructed me to lock my door and only open it when he says so. I don't know what happened after that, but heard my father going down and some muffled noises before hearing him climb back up the stairs. I remember his voice. It was just so nice and comforting. He said it was a false alarm and I could come out. I reached for the doorknob but then he leaned down and looked inside through the keyhole. My little hands stopped midair. I kept staring at his eyes. He repeated that it was safe to come out and that everything was fine. But I did not believe him. Because that wasn't my father. He sounded exactly like him, but his eyes… They were a different color. Not my father's welcoming eye color. So I just stood there. For minutes. Maybe hours. He wouldn't stop talking, reassuring me but I still didn't unlock the door."

Reggie leaned forward with a worried and scared expression.  

"What happened next?" 

You lifted your gaze, slowly to look at the spooked boy. 

"He started tapping. It sounded just like it did on the front door. And it wasn't long before he started banging his hand against the wood." 

"Oh my god.." Reggie whispers. 

"He is hitting harder and harder until finally the door breaks and flies open. And the creature, no longer looking or sounding like my father, rather like a tall bloodied figure with sharp teeth, jumps at me, opening his huge mouth and SWALLOWS ME WHOLE." you shout the last part causing Reggie to scream and the others to jump just a little. 

"Fuuckk, i think I peed myself!" exclaims Reggie. You only laugh, seeing all the boys being a bit paler. 

"So who's next?" 

"I'll go." Luke said beside you and you shifted away from him, knowing that he will need the space to gesture along his story. You watched as he started to speak. His expression changes with every sentence as he introduces his characters. His frown as he talks about a creepy night in the woods. Your eyes wander down to his lips, too busy just staring at them to actually listen to the words that make them move. You distantly hear various curse words from the guys as your boyfriend goes deeper into detail with his horrifying story. With eyes still glued to Luke, you smile slightly. 

"../n...y/n...Y/N!" you hear making you jump and almost falling backwards on the log you have been sitting on. You see all the guys staring at you. 

"How are you not scared? Did you not hear Luke's story?" Reggie asks, earning a knowing laugh from Alex. 

"No, she did not. She was too busy staring at his lips." as your friend's words hit your ears you feel your face heating up. 

"Dude..,alright I might have zoomed out. A bit but I am here now. Where were you, babe?" 

Luke looks at you, amused. 

"I finished like 3 minutes ago. You 'zoomed out' for legit 20 minutes." 

Looking up at the sky, you realized they were right because it got pitch black since you last looked up. Your lips curved into an 'o' shape before mumbling a sorry.. 

“We should put more wood on the fire. It's starting to weaken.” says Reggie. Bobby points into the dark woods.

“Suit yourself, man.” 

“What? I am not going alone. Someone come with me.” he whines. Alex visibly changes his posture and sits into a more comfortable position.Luke puts his muscular arm around your shoulder grinning.

“You’re on your own, man.”

“No! Please??”

You bite back a laugh and carefully remove Luke’s arm from you. 

“Alright, I’ll go with you.” 

“Thank you!You are amazing!” 

You grab the basket ,that’s been laying on the ground, for the twigs. You also reach into your bag for your flashlight. 

“Ok, I’m ready to go.” you step towards Reggie but Luke grabs your hand and places a small kiss on it. 

“Be careful, love.”

“Always.”

The two of you start walking towards the woods.

“Try not to pee yourselfs guys!” Alex calls after you in a sing-song voice.

“Ha ha, very funny Alex.”

To be honest you were a little spooked but didn’t show it.Not like Reggie who was literally shaking beside you and jumped up at every little noise he heard as you got further into the woods. You picked up a few sticks and bigger twigs, slowly filling the basket with them. Or rather, you tried but when Reggie stoped right in front of you you accidentally dropped it spilling the stuff everywhere.

“Dude! I am trying to help you here!”

“Shhhhh! Didn’t you hear that?” he whispers, voice panicked. 

“Come on, Reg. This isn’t going to work on me.”

He turns to look at you.

“No, y/n! I am serious! I heard a whisper! I’m sure of it!”

You roll your eyes, not believing your friend.

“You gotta be more convincing next time. I dont scare that easily..AH” just as you assured Reginald how it takes more for you to get spooked, someone, or something grabbed you from behind and started to pull you while shouting ‘WAA’. The flashlight landed on the ground too as you let out a bloodcurdling scream. You kicked your attacker(s?) wherever you could. 

“Ahh! WHoo, stop, it’s just us.” you suddenly hear your boyfriend's voice and feel the arms around you letting go. You turned around your fear vanishing and turning into anger.

Reggie behind you falls on the ground,clutching his chest while he tries not to cry.

“ARE YOU GUYS INSANE?!” you shout at Luke and Booby. Alex is nowhere to be seen, he probably stayed next the fire to keep an eye on your stuff. Luke's eyes immediately  widen upon hearing you raise your voice.

“I..I am sorry we thought-”

“What?! Lucas Patterson I am, so, so mad at you right now” you say shaking. You hear Bobby giggle quietly. You snap your head in his direction. “And don't even get me started on you Bobby...Bobby..uhm” you stop to think about his surname, only to realise you don’t know it. For a moment you let go of your anger. “What is your surname?”

He only scoffs and smiles. Alex must have heard the shouting and come to investigate with a flashlight in one hand and a drumstick (as a weapon?) in his other.He soon puts them down tho as he sees that you are all in one piece. Luke looks at Bobby with a puzzled expression.

“That is actually creepy, cause I don’t know it either.”

“What?! How? He has been in a band for, what? A year and a half? And you never actually asked his last name?” you ask, more interested in the mystery of Bobby’s name than shouting at them now. Luke shrugs.

“Do you even have a last name?” you hear Reggie asking from the ground. You all turn to him with questioning looks.

“Everyone has a last name Reginald.” says Alex.

“Not celtic gods, no.” he responds.

“What?” Luke exclaims clearny not understanding the bassist.

“Bobby is not a god.” says the drummer annoyed. “ He is a normal teenager like us.”

“Is he tho?”

Meanwhile Bobby leans back against a tree and stares at Reggie.

“You are creeping me out...Please stop creeping me out oh majestic god of...what are you the god of?”

Booby just smiles mysteriously. 

“Oh for f…’s sake.Y/N back me up here, there are no gods and even if there were, Bobby is not one of them.”

“Thanks Alex but I am not offending a celtic god.”

“What is wrong with you guys?!”

Luke doesn’t know who to look at in this chaos. Soon he decides to pick up the twigs and collect more while you, Reggie and Alex argue whether Bobby is a god or not. Bobby bends down too, to help the lead singer.

“You do know my name is actually Wilson, right?” 

“Yeah. Of course I do, I think Reggie does too, he just forgot.” the two boys laugh. 

You all walk back to the camp and Booby, upon seeing Reggie still looking at him suspiciously walks over to him.

“I am not an ancient god, you know.”

“That is exactly what I would say too.”

Not hearing Reggie’s nonsense reminds you of what Luke did so when you feel him wrapping his arms around you, you push him away.

“I sorry, bae. I was an asshole. I shouldn’t have. Please look at me?” he stands before you so there is no way you can avoid him.

“Don’t do this again.” you said with a firm tone. You can't help but smile, seeing Luke’s shit eating grin. He opens his arms once again but waits for you to hug him first. You do, and for minutes you just stand there in his embrace. The silence was broken by the familiar sound of the acoustic guitar which was followed by Reggie’s voice as he started to play some country song. 

“Dude, no, put down my guitar.”Luke ran off to get his instrument or to, at least convince him to play ‘normal’ music. You laugh and walk over to Alex and Bobby.

“Hey, y/n, I am sorry about scaring you.”

You wave your hand. 

“It’s fine. However don’t be surprised when I get back at you.” you say before sitting down next to Reggie and giving him a hug because let’s be honest he was pretty traumatised in the woods too.

“Woo,hey! Why does he get a hug?” Luke asks, upset he couldn’t change Reggies mind about playing country songs. And from the fact that his girlfriend was hugging him.

“Maybe because you decided that it was a funny idea to scare the living shit out of him and I.”

“Stop guilt tripping me.” he pulls you up and away from the fire, closer to the tents. ”I said I am sorry. And you are right, I shouldn’t  have scared you. Besides…” he leaned closer to your ear “I know more fun ways to make you scream.”

You gasp upon hearing his words and right when you are about to react Alex walks by casually. 

“No, no. With the tents it’s like we are sleeping next to each other. If you guys try anything I will murder you myself.”

Both of you look after him, blushing before breaking into laughter.

Luke’s watch showed 3:58 when you all agreed to call it a night.You put out the fire with the help of Bobby while Luke went to pack away the trash you all left out.

Reggie yawned and looked up at Alex.

“I am still pretty scared...Can I cuddle you Alex?”

He looks at him like he heard it wrong.

“Absolutely not.”

“What about you Bobby?”

“No way, Reg.”

Despite them saying this, all three of them woke up hugging each other in the morning.

[commander-marlo]

Foxiyo - A spider embarrassed me in front of my favorite senator

Thank you @sexyrexy7567 for telling me fox is scared of spiders! I had a lot of fun writing this =D

Summary: After a meeting with a clone hating senator, Riyo thinks about the humanity of the clones. Not expecting to find out that they could actually be afraid of anything, let alone spiders of all things.

Words: 1500~

Riyo has a meeting set up with senator Garos. A man who presents himself as authoritative and adamant, which aren’t poor qualities for any senator to have. Having a strong opinion and showing adequacy is an important quality to have in the senate and as a leader. 

But Senator Garos takes it too far by letting his adamancy cloud his judgement, he’s easy to draw conclusions and his authoritative nature makes him imperious. It was exhausting enough to listen to the man trying to continuously persuade her to have his same opinion. It had already rubbed her the wrong way that he was so pushy in his persuasions, but their conversation this afternoon added to her feelings of uneasiness around the man.

It had already started at the beginning of their meeting, they hadn’t even started their discussion about politics before the man pointed to the commander at her side. “If you could tell your clone to leave the room, Senator Chuchi. I’d like to speak to you in private.”

Riyo feels uncomfortable by the thought of being left alone with the man and feels relieved when the commander decides to speak up on her behalf, saving her from the stress of having to decide to be left alone with the man or to awkwardly decline his offer. “I’ve been assigned the task to protect Senator Chuchi. Leaving her unguarded while on duty would be against protocol, senator.” 

“I didn’t ask you clone, I asked the senator. Now go, I’d like to go over this next bill with senator Chuchi in private.” The man was hissing through his teeth, clearly biting back annoyance as he commanded Fox out of the room. Who in return turned his attention to her, clearly not willing to leave his post unless she herself gives the order, while reminding her of the following fact, “My men and I have a duty of confidentiality, senator. I’m sure-”

“Are you ignoring my orders? I could have you decommissioned for disrespecting a senator!” The man threatens. 

Riyo quickly steps in to defend the commander.  “Senator Garos, it is highly inappropriate of you to send away my security for me, don’t you think?”

That seems to get the man to settle down again. “I see what you mean, my apologies. Would it be possible to speak about this matter in private, senator Chuchi. I’m sure standing guard outside will provide enough security as is.”

“I understand your reasoning, but having the commander stand besides me shouldn’t be a problem. They do have a duty of confidentiality as the commander mentioned before. If anything were to happen, no matter how small the chance, it would be good for both our protection to have the commander as security with us.”

It appears the man can’t think of any reason to counter her reasoning and ends that part of their conversation with - “If that is what you think is best, senator.” - before finally moving on to the topic of politics, sending one last glare to the soldier that stands behind her. When she is done, she is escorted back to her office by the commander. Setting down her datapad at her desk as she lets out an exhausted sigh, before sitting down on the chair behind it. 

“Are you ignoring my orders? I could have you decommissioned for disrespecting a senator!” The meeting overall had gone well, but the words at the beginning of her meeting seem to have had an impact on her. She knew senator Garos was known to dislike clones, lightly said, but he threatened so quickly with decommissioning of all things. It wouldn’t be the first time he got a clone shipped back to Kamino for that exact reason. He didn’t think of them as people. 

“They might look like men, but these clones are droids in disguise. Don’t let their faces fool you.” She had heard him say once before. Before she came to Coruscant she didn’t know what to think about them. She begrudgingly has to admit that if he had told her that before she had gotten to know them, then she might have been persuaded to believe him with the way they didn’t show any other kind of personality trait then ‘soldier’. 

It was only when Padme told her about some of her interactions with clones that she started to notice that they are more than what meets the eye. She had tried to see it for herself once, asking a trooper about how he and his brother’s were doing and was quite surprised when the trooper stammered out that he and his brother’s were doing fine and thanked her for asking. There was also this time where she had received a box of pantoran sweets from her family back home and had asked commander Fox once if he wanted to try one. He declined, but had suggested for the trooper guarding the entrance to her office to try one in his stead. Resulting in the senator offering him one.  

Said trooper had nervously replied, “I’d love to, but it is against regulations to remove my bucket while on duty, senator.”

“I won't tell anyone you ate something while on duty, if you won’t tell anyone I distracted a trooper from leaving his post for a minute for some sweets, do we have a deal?” She had joked while holding out the box to him so he could pick one out. 

The trooper had looked to his commander for reassurance who told him to quickly pick one and then get back to his post. 

She remembered the way the trooper smiled after he had lifted his helmet and had tasted one of the sweets she had held out for him. She could almost imagine stars in his eyes, thanking her and the commander before putting his helmet back on and rushing back to his post. She had offered another one to the commander, who declined her offer again, saying he wished not to make use of her generosity and that he was already thankful she had been willing to give one of the sweets to one of his younger brothers. 

It was then that she had realised something about the commander. He was selfless, protective and caring. Definitely not a droid. She smiled while she thought back on that time amongst other occasions, It was only when a startled yelp came from the commander that she looked his way. Seeing just in time the way that the commander had jumped aside, a thud coming from his helmet as it was thrown on the floor with haste. “Commander Fox, are you alright?” she asked surprisedly, hurriedly walking around her desk and his way to check on him, curious to know what had caused such a reaction from the commander. 

He had looked up at her in shock, stuttering as he rambled on his explanation, “I-I’m sorry, ma’am. I know i’m not supposed to remove my helmet on duty, it’s just that... uhm.”

During his attempt to explain, she had crouched down to pick up the commander’s helmet from where he had thrown it off, only to be stopped by his spooked warning, “Wait! don’t pick it up, it...uhh.. could..still.. be there.” 

She halted her actions as she looked back at the commander, seeing his unease as his gaze seemed to linger around the room, before asking, “It being what, commander?”

“A...spider, ma’am.” he admitted, hesitantly so. Clearly still embarrassed by the whole ordeal, while trying to scramble his composure back together.

“A spider, commander?” She asked, surprised by his response as she picked up the helmet. 

“It crawled onto my vizor, which startled me. I apologise, ma’am. It won’t happen again.” The commander said stiff and apologetically. When Riyo reaches out to hand the helmet back to him, she notices the unease in his eyes as he looks at it. 

She giggles a bit at that, “It’s alright commander, I checked, the spider’s gone.”

He shyly takes the helmet out of her hands, quietly telling her ‘thank you’ before placing it back on his head. She can’t help herself, amusement clear in her voice as she teases the man,  “Didn’t think you’d be scared of spiders, commander.” 

“Well, it’s not something I'd want to be known for, senator.” 

“Don’t worry commander, your secret’s safe with me.” she laughs, throwing the man a wink, before turning around and walking back to her desk. A violet flush on her cheeks as she realises how straightforward she was to actually tease the man like that. A man she now knew not only was selfless, protective and caring, but was also quite lovable when embarrassed and also had a shocking fear of spiders. She giggled at the thought. 

No, definitely not a droid.

[stepintomyvoid]

A Deeper Understanding [Newt Scamander x reader]

A/N: Yes this is me, trying fanfiction again. I haven’t written a single word in like 3 years or sth? But whateveeeer I’ve been really inspired by the Harry Potter Universe again, so here we go. Also please excuse any grammatical errors! English is only my second language, so please be gentle haha! But if you like this stuff, please please tell me! I’m super anxious about my writing, but I will of course take constructive criticism.

Warnings: not really anything, it’s fluffy and a bit angsty, mention of death

Word Count: 2721

“I wonder, Mr Scamander, is that really the fitting pair of shoes for those trousers?”, you smirked, carrying a large bucket of feed for the mooncalves. The golden haired man looked up, following your body as you walked past him. He was crouched down, tying his oak-brown leather shoes. The right corner of his mouth twitched a bit, almost indicating a smile. But he stayed silent, keeping his amusement to himself.

His silence jabbed your mood a bit but you shrugged it off. You had helped him for a few months now, assisting in caring for his beautiful creatures. To you, it felt like years. But your relationship went back even farther. Your first time meeting the shy Newt Scamander was your first year in Hogwarts. You, a muggle-born witch, were still adjusting to the new wizard world upon you. You had just been sorted into your Hogwarts House the day before and walked around the castle, aimlessly, just taking it all in. When you bumped into a Hufflepuff sitting cross-legged on the floor with some small creature in his hands. That’s when you met and forgot again. He was a little too awkward, you were a little too lost. It was just a random encounter and nothing came out of it. You didn’t even know his name back then.

Years later, you saw a certain Erumpent, an indeed breathtaking rhinceros which looked like it had actual lava in his horn, roaming around in Central Park in New York, the location of your Christmas vacation. This was your second encounter. Upon seeing this giant creature galopp through the winterly landscape, you left immediately; only years later you learned that the one and only Newt Scamander was there too. Not only that, he was responsible for it. All of your friends called you insane and laughed your encounter off like it never happened.

You actually met the young Mr Scamander in one of his readings about Magical Creatures in London, he was talking about Thestrals. He described these skinny black horses with skeletal bodies as elegant and gentle, he said they were calm but at the same time so very powerful. How he talked about every creature in the same loving way fascinated you from the beginning.

“But their beauty can only be seen by very view”, he said. He just sat on a small chair in front of a small crowd in a library. Not a lot of people were interested in his liberal views. But you adored him. The way the golden sunlight, broken by the dirty window glass, shined on his left side, the few times he actually looked up from the floor and a passionate smile grew on his face, you couldn’t stop listening. “You see, only those who saw death can see a Thestral. But many mistake this description for its literal definition. To see a Thestral, one needs to-“

You raised your hand. The brown-haired curls looked up. Almost startled by your action, he exclaimed a “yes?”. “One needs to have a deeper understanding of death, rather than just being a witness.” You blushed immediately as the small crowd turned around to look at you. “Right?”, you added shyly. He nodded.

After the reading, Newt stood up immediately, almost fleeing the building. You ran after him. “Uhm, Mr Scamander! Mr Scamander! I, uh...”, you called. He stopped to turn around. “Yes, can I help you?”, he asked politely, his gaze on the ground. He shortly looked up to study your expression. “I know, this must seem...strange. But I just wanted to apologize for interrupting your reading. I’m sorry if that seemed impolite”, you said with a hopeful smile.

“Oh”, he paused. “No, don’t worry. I’m just not... uh, used to people knowing or even caring about Thestrals. Most of them find them rather grim, I believe”, he smiled, looking into your eyes again for a few seconds. His blue eyes shimmered hazel in the afternoon sun. “I must excuse myself. I have to feed the mooncalves, I wish you a nice day”, he nodded and was on the verge on turning around again, you reached out, almost gripping his coat to stop him. “Mr Scamander, if I may, would I be able to help you with that? You don’t have to say yes, I just...I would love to learn more. One can only read so much in books”, you chuckled. He turned to you again, looking shocked again.

“Don’t feel obligated”, you added. “You are most welcome to. I can always use some help. Excuse my hesitation, this has never happened to me before”, he laughed, “if you follow me?”

And that’s how you found yourself visiting Newt Scamanders suitcase every day since then. You were a good team. And once he opened up to you more, joked around every now and then, you felt more comfortable around him as well. But still, there was always this thick wall between you emotionally. Neither one of you shared too many personal memories with each other. You enjoyed each other’s company dearly, you did. But something always kept you from being closer. Even though, from time to time, there were moments where the freckled man could make your heart jump like you’ve never felt before.

“Need help with that?” you asked one day as Newt was brewing a potion to treat the stomach ache of one of the Diricawls. You stood behind him, your hands on his shoulders, so you could look over him on your tip-toes. He turned his head a bit so he could see your face in the corner of his eyes, he blushed. “I’m good”, he said like a whisper. “Ugh, shut up and let me help you”, you scoffed and pulled out your wand. A few circular swings with your wand and the brown-ish fluid in the dark kettle started bubbling softly. “There you go, sweetie”, you said and patted his shoulder blades roughly. “No one is better at potions than you, Y/N”, he grinned slightly as he turned around to face you, his hands on the table behind him. “I know”, you winked at him. He broke the eye contact, his red-brown locks fell into his face, failing to hide his blushing cheeks. There it was again, that feeling. His shyness when you called him sweetie or honey drove you crazy. Officially you might have been completely platonic but his hidden smirks and chuckles made your insides burst.

 And then, one fateful Decembre evening, everything changed.

 “Y/N? You mind doing me a favour? You can say no of course... but... I’d... I’d love to have you there”, he smiled, his eyes darker than usual. You were just finishing up and about to leave but him asking you with this kind expression was a turn of events. “Uh, sure. What do you need me to do?”

Only about twenty minutes later you found yourself standing on the edge of a small lake surrounded by a pine forest at almost midnight. It was a bit chilly even for you, you lifted your shoulders, covering your face in your scarf. “Are you cold?”, Newt asked kneeling on the edge of the water, his wand in his hand, a worrying look on his face. He looked so pale in the blue light. “It’s alright”, you smiled at him. “Mr Scamander, if I may ask, what exactly are we doing here?”, you crossed your arms looking around. The forest was dark and cold, it looked utterly uninviting. Before you, the light blue lake reflected the moonlight and made for a calm atmosphere. It was almost completely silent. Your breath was visible in front of you and in that moment you wished, you had worn a thicker jumper.

“Looking for Kelpies, of course, Ms Y/L/N.”

“Of course”, you scoffed to yourself. Your gaze wandered across the water, it was quite peaceful.

“Couldn’t this wait `til the morning?”, you asked stepping closer to the lake.

“Sadly, no”, he then went on a rant on how this time was very important to get a good look at a Kelpie because they’re the friendliest when the sea is the coldest. You tried to distract yourself from the freezing cold by listening closely. But as you looked over to the other side of the lake, you made out a black creature drinking in the lake. Your eyes widened. A slender four-legged creature with a slim neck. It seemed, as if the creature could sense your staring and its head shot up, looking directly at you. Like a startled deer, you couldn’t look away. It was a Thestral.

“Newt!”, you whispered, keeping your eyes locked on the horse-like creature. “Newt!”, you said again with a bit more intensity. You couldn’t see but he turned around to look at you, saw your mesmerized face and looked into the same direction. “What is it? Did you see something?”, he asked, not moving a muscle. “It’s a... a Thestral, Newt. I can’t believe it. It’s so... beautiful”, you said slowly, still not blinking. The black skeleton moved around a bit, its coat shimmering blue in the night.

“What?”, Newt asked. He slowly stood up. He looked back and forth a few times. “Y/N?”, he said with a soft voice.

“Newt, don’t move! Look at it, it’s majestic”, you said with a wide smile. “Y/N-“, he tried again. “What is it? It’s right over there. Can’t you see it?”, you said with a hushed voice as to not spook the creature.

“No, actually, I can’t... see it”, Newt admitted. As you looked at him for the first time in minutes, you realized, he was a lot closer than you thought. Slowly you realized what this meant. Your smile faded. Newt had a painful expression on his face, covering it up with a weak smile to make you feel better. Of course, only you could see the Thestral. Because only you had witnessed death. Flashes of memories flooded your brain. You looked down brushing your hand through your hair.

“I’m sorry, Y/N”, he said as if he thought this would make it better. For the first time, his eyes never left you. “It was my Mum”, you said huskily, “she uh... passed, twelve years ago.”

Tears started clouding your vision as more and more memories came back again. You witnessed your Mum’s death. But how it happened was so horrible that you could not dare to speak it out loud.

Newt came another step closer and lightly squeezed your arm in comfort. He wanted to make it all ok again. Both of you didn’t say another word. You didn’t need to. For a moment you looked up into his eyes before he hesitantly pulled you into a hug. His arms were wrapped around your waist. Even through several layers of clothes you could feel his warmth against your chest. He smelled like apple pie and cider. Your arms around his neck, he was pulling you close to him, breathing into your shoulder. At that moment, you felt so vulnerable, like you would break any second and his strong grip was the only thing holding you together. He was stronger than you expected. His hands on your back, he pushed you closer to him. And there was nothing you wanted more than to kiss him right in this moment. He had never touched you like that, so intimate and strong.

Slowly his grip loosened, leaving you immediately cold again. Your hands slowly slid down his neck but stayed at his cheeks. You cupped his face looking at his dark blue eyes sparkling. His freckles were almost invisible, varnished with a red colour. His hands stayed at your hips, his thumb lightly brushing over you. You pulled his head down softly and he followed willingly. The amber curls tickled your forehead and you felt a soft hand cupping your cheek. You were only milimetres away from each other, so close, you breathed the same air. The heat was almost unbearable.

“Y/N...”

“Don’t...”, you mumbled. Your foreheads touched lightly. “Y/N, I...”, he began again. You gripped the hair at the back of his head to keep him close. His fingers ran through your hair as his other hand slid up your back. Your lips wanted his. You were breaking under his every touch.

A sudden water splash from the lake ripped you from your moment. Both of you turned to the lake, a dark shimmering creature had risen from the depths of the water. As fast as it appeared, it was gone again. The few water drops you felt, cooled your heated cheeks rather quickly. Newt rushed to the edge of the water, “did you see that?!”, he exclaimed. “Yea”, you gulped, still shook by what just happened. After looking at the water surface for what felt like hours, Newt turned around again looking at you, standing there like a beaten dog. You didn’t dare to say anything. What would you even say? Why didn’t he say anything?

The rest of the night both of you kept pretty much silent. You had never felt this unsure in your life. Normally, Newt was the shy and awkward one but he just turned your world around. The next few days you barely talked, still processing your moment the other night.

Until, you just couldn’t keep it in anymore. Without a warning you blurted out: “Tell me, how you feel about me.”

Newt, who was sorting plants as of right now, turned around with wide eyes. “What...”, he said slowly. “Tell me”, you repeated. “Who am I to you.”

He just stared at you without making a noise for a few moments before looking back at the ground, avoiding your gaze. “What... what do you mean by... by that?”, he stuttered, still looking down.

“Newt, come on. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t... I just can’t keep working here acting like everything’s normal, when it’s not... it’s really not”, you said walking around rubbing your forehead. “What’s wrong?”, he asked innocently. “I’m sorry, that was a stupid question. Is it about your mother? I’m terribly sorry. If there’s anything I can do, just-“

“Stop”, you cut him off sharply. “Please don’t... don’t do that.”

“Do what?”, he asked, obviously confused now.

“Being all cute and innocent and nice and... and just... you”, you replied and looked up at him.

“What’s wrong? I don’t...”, he stammered trying to read you.

“Who am I to you”, you asked again standing right in front of him.

He didn’t reply. He just stared holes in the floor again. Your hands softly found his cheeks and you pushed his gaze up to look at you. His eyes struggled to look at you. But when his found yours, there was it again, the magic, the flicker, the nervous tingling feeling in your stomach. “Tell me”, you whispered. “Say something”, you said, followed by an endless feeling pause.

“You’re funny”, he whispered. You held your breath for a moment.

“And you’re smart... so clever.” You started grinning.

“You make me smile, you’re so good and full of light.” You rubbed your thumb over his cheek.

“You brew the best potions, better than anyone I’ve ever seen. And you’re just...”, he paused.

“You’re just so very beautiful.”

You let out a happy giggle, your hands sliding to his neck and gently twirling his locks with your finger. He couldn’t look into your eyes but you could see that he liked it.

“Your nose is very symmetric and you have a nice chin”, he added, raising his gaze and looking at you with those hazel puppy eyes. You started laughing.

“What?”, he shyed away. “I’m sorry. That was inappropriate. I shouldn’t have said that... I understand if you want to leave”, he said.

“Don’t you dare think that for one second, Mr Scamander”, you said with a wide grin. That’s when you pulled him closer and finally kissed him. Your lips met and Newt closed the gap between your bodies. He pushed himself against you. “That’s all I wanted to hear”, you pulled away for a brief moment, only to deepen the kiss quickly after saying that. You never wanted to let him go again.

Thank you so much for reading! <3

[yespleasetommyshelby]

Love in the 21st ~ Jay Halstead Fic ~ Four

It's been an hour since we got the news that Antonio's son, Diego went missing from an alley behind his mothers restaurant, someone who we are assuming is one of Pulpo's associates is demanding Pulpo's release by midnight for the life of Diego, like the life of a little boy is worth less than the life of a sick son of a bitch who likes cutting heads off.

"Hey, I got something." Adam said standing up from his desk and heading over to the board which so far only has Pulpo's and Diego's picture on, slapping on one more. "This guy, Ernesto, he's a midlevel in the dealing scene but he's got his eyes on a spot in Pulpo's gang." He finished just as Hank, Al and Antonio left his office.

"Boss, if we can get this guy we could easily flip him into telling us what he knows about the gang and who might have Diego." I suggest giving Antonio a small hopeful smile as I said his son's name.

"That's a good idea Platt, we just gotta find the guy first." Al nodded giving me a little confidence that I know I'm not wasting mine and their time being in intelligence.

"I got an address." Adam pipes up sticking his head over the top of his computer. "It's a stash house, a CI  just texted saying he'll be there to pick up  some gear in the next hour or so." He said standing up.

"Alright, Platt and Ruzek you sit outside the front, wait till he gets close then make you're move. Don't spook him too early." Voight instructed pointing at the two of us. "The rest of us will wait close by and keep eyes on the scene. Let's go." He almost yelled as he walked away.

We all scrambled grabbing our coats and guns before going down to the armory and grabbing our vests just in case anything goes wrong. Just as I'd finished doing my vest up a pair of hands steadied themselves on the straps around my waist, looking over my shoulder I saw a pair of spar killing blue eyes, Jay.

"Hey, just checking that it was done up properly, don't want mini Platt getting shot now do we?" He chuckled slightly patting my waist before letting go and rechecking his own vest.

"I also doubt you wanna get shot yourself Chuckles, so," I started as I stepped forwards noticing that one of his straps was only half on pulling it off of his shoulder, I strapped it back down in the right place. "You might wanna check you're own vest before worrying about me." I winked at him quickly before turning around and waiting for Voights call.

"Alright! Let's move out." His voice came just as I'd expected, running over to the SUV I jumped in the drivers seat before Adam had even reached it.

"Wait, wait, wait, you're gunna drive?" He asked sarcastically as he climbeed into the passenger seat looking over at me with wide eyes.

"And what is wrong with me driving Ruzek?" I asked turning the key in the ignition whilst watching him, a small smirk on my face.

"Nothing, but after your batting phase at the store who am I to question you?" He shrugged laughing as he looked into my narrowed eyes.

"Hold on tight." I grinned at him before slamming the pedal down and wheel spinning for a second before shooting off, me laughing at the white knuckle grip he had on his door handle.

------------

"So, where were you placed before the 21st?" Adam asked as we sat watching the entrance to the stash house, so far it's been forty-five minutes and nobody has gone in or come out.

"I was at the 31st District, not even nearly as exciting though." I shrugged looking over at him to see he was already watching me.

"How come you transferred?" He asked as he scratched the stubble under his chin.

"Uh, let's just call them 'unprofessional arrests." I laughed slightly shrugging at him, him laughing along.

"Like your baseball practice?" He asked with a smirk and raised eyebrow like he already knew.

"Would you stop calling it that." I groaned with a slight laugh. "But yes, like that, according to Trudy Intelligence was the perfect spot for me." I smiled before something caught my eye. "Isn't that him?" I asked lifting my binoculars to get a closer look, it was him.

"We got eyes on the suspect, he's walking towards the front entrance now." Adam spoke into his radio as he get ready to open his door.

"Stand by, wait for him to get closer." Voight's gruff voice instructed though the radio making Adam shake his head.

"I can get him now." He muttered without taking his eyes off of Ernesto.

"We just  gotta wait Adam." I sighed knowing that he was getting impatient, especially with the guy being right there.

"Screw waiting." He mumbled before opening his door and climbing out.

"Adam wait!" I called getting out of the car just as Ernesto took off.

"Suspect is running, heading east away from the front entrance, officer Ruzek is in pursuit." I called into the radio before jumping in the car and racing in the direction that they were heading.

----------

Long story short, the plan failed. Adam went in for the arrest too early and spooked the guy, there was a pursuit on foot but as Erin tried to block his path she was smacked in the head with the butt of the gun and the guy got away, to say Antonio was pissed was an understatement.

"This is your fault!" He yelled pointing his finger in Adam's face once we got back to the bullpen, Al and Jay holding him back by an arm each.

"Walk it off Antonio!" Voight's gravely voice demanded as he walked up the stairs behind the ongoing commotion.

"Sarge." Dawson started before he was cut off. "I said now, Detective." Was all Voight had to say for Antonio to grab his jacket and storm out.

"I need some air." Adam muttered as he walked towards the stairs, hearing the gate slam a few seconds later I looked over at Erin, Jay and Al who were all watching what had just happened.

"Go talk to him." Al said looking directly at me.

"What? Why me?" I asked confused seeing as I was still new to this whole intelligence thing too.

"Because he seems to connect with you more than any of us at the minute, plus you're both new, it might be some comfort to the kid." Al said wisely before motioning to the stairs with his head.

"Okay, where do I find him?" I asked unsure, having no real idea of where to start looking.

"Try the changing rooms, seems to be where everyone hides." Jay suggested sharing a knowing look with Erin, must be some kind of inside joke type thing.

"Uhm, okay, I will be back then." I said quietly as I made my way down the stairs, through the gate and down to the sergeant's desk. "Hey Trudy, did you see where Adam went?" I asked looking around to see if I could spot him in the lobby.

"I think he went to the changing rooms, one second." She told me before turning back to the two patrolmen I had met on the first day. "Atwater I am telling you that there is no chance that you can swap shifts tomorrow it's too short notice and It's not really my problem what you're missing out on." She said to Kevin before turning back round to me. "Anything else Kyles?"

"What's tomorrow Kevin?" I asked looking up at him since he's at least a head taller than me.

"My little sisters got some kind of sports and activity day at school tomorrow, she didn't tell me till yesterday afternoon and she's been begging all night." He sighed rubbing his hands over his face as Kim patted his shoulder.

"I'll do it, I'll cover the shift, no need to swap." I said smiling at him before turning to Trudy. "I can do that right?" I asked unsurely.

"You can, but you'd have to go out on the beat, uniform, partner and all. You okay with this?" She said nodding down at Kim.

"That is absolutely fine sergeant." She nodded sending me a small smile.

"Fine, whatever." Trudy sighed defeated before a crash was heard coming from the changing rooms, Adam.

"Oh shoot, I totally forgot, I gotta go talk to him." I said motioning down the halls with my thumbs as I backed away from the desk slowly. "I'll see you guys later!" I called turning round and practically sprinting into the room.

"Hey." I said quietly as I spotted Adam sitting on one of the benches with his head in his hands, a bin lying on it's side a few feet away, I'm assuming that's the source of the crash we heard a minute ago.

"Hey." He mumbled looking up at me before rubbing his hands over his face.

"Wanna tell me what's up?" I asked as I took a seat next to him.

"It's my fault Kylie, I'm the reason that he got away." He sighed bowing his  head to the ground.

"Hey, you can't pin this on yourself, I don't know about you but I wasn't expecting him to run." I began placing my hand on his shoulder and rubbing slightly. "He may have got away but we're still going to find Diego and bring him home safe and sound." I reassured him making him lift his head and look at me.

"But we could've already had him by now, if I hadn't rushed it." He groaned looking up before back down to me.

"You can't think like that Adam." I sighed standing up and holding my hands out to him, looking at me sightly confused he took hold of my hands and pulled himself up. Letting go of one I pulled him slightly by the other. "Come on, we've got a little boy to find."I told him letting go completely before leaving the changing room, Adam right behind me.

As we walked up the stairs back into intelligence Jin came running in with his laptop, placing it on Antonio's desk we all gathered round, It was a video of Diego, his hand and legs were tied to the chair with rope.

"When was this filmed?" I asked looking over at Jin.

"It's happening right now, it's a live stream." He said looking over at Dawson who stood up and stormed into Voight's office, slamming the door behind him, Voight following a few seconds behind.

"Uh, any chance we can track where it's coming from?" I asked getting back to the case at hand.

"I'm trying, but it's pinging different locations around the world." Jin said sighing.

Nodding my head I sighed and made my way into the break room to make myself a tea, as I'd reached the kettle I heard the door close turning round I saw Adam walking towards me with a small smile on his face.

"Thank you, for uh, earlier." He shrugged reaching up and grabbing his own mug before pouring the coffee.

"We're a team Ruzek, I'll always be here for you to talk to, no matter what." I smiled up at him leaning back against the counter.

"I appreciate it, I really do." He said quietly as he looked down.

"Guys, Antonio's got something." Erin said opening the door and poking her head through, motioning back to the bullpen.

Walking back into the bullpen I couldn't help but feel eyes on us, looking over I spotted Jay looking between me and Adam with a blank expression, okay then.

"My CI gave us info that they could be hiding Diego here." Antonio said slapping a picture of a rundown hotel up on the board. "It's an old hotel that's not been used for a couple years."

"Alright, Let's go get Diego." Voight said patting Antonio's back before leading the way out of intelligence.