#understanding of my characters. Instead of. Stupid shitposts

[rexlottie]

FART FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm still updating a majority of the raincoatinas' profiles sorry if they're empty T_T

[elbiotipo]

I also had lots of dumb fun changing the evil clown into some stupid png. Tumblr tries to turn into twitter or tiktok, An App, essentially, but I think instead it should embrace its blogging roots and the whole kind of geocities vibe. I come here to shitpost, sure, but I also like to write and read long posts, like a blog, this is why I came here for and this is I don't leave: I hate the whole 10 second videos or 140 character post thing the rest of the internet is going for. You know what that means? I spend more time here, because THERE'S STUFF TO READ instead of watching five seconds of bullshit.

What I mean here is, remember custom blogs and themes, like mini-websites? (I still have that) Well, keep that AND allow us to customize the dashboard. Let me change the background to Messi lifting the world cup, let me put a gif of that girl from Dragon Half dancing somewhere instead of that clown, let me play music, let me change the font or the cursor and what my dashboard shows, give me all the stupid options, DON'T FORCE THE STUPID OPTIONS ON ME, but give them to me, that sort of stuff. Instead of removing the icons, make them bigger. Hell, even allow forum signatures (can be hidden if they get too obnoxious)

If I wanted twitter, I would go to twitter, or I would go elsewhere, every website is the same nowdays. Let me have my "blorbos" on "my dash", if you understand what I mean.

hey @staff you listening? I'm giving you ideas.

[mythvoiced]

-. anyways patrick-core pt. 1 (shitpost energy)

would probably get even luckier in casting him if i looked at manhwa's instead of animanga, but whatever

blonde men/masc-presenting folks need to be BASTARDS -slams hand on table- BASTARDS I TELL YOU

"i don't care" (cares so much it makes him physically sick)

he's just a mother without a child, stop being mean to him

just because he's a mother doesn't mean he isn't that bitch, he very much is

patrick is fun to have around if you sic him on the patriarchy

patrick is not fun to have around if he genuinely fears for his life, he will bite through anything to get out (including friends)

is not inherently violent, doesn't mean he can't be violent

if he has to crane his neck to look at you, he's out

is really weird about tyr and his relationship to him

is actually really weird about everything, there is NOTHING he can be normal about, absolutely nothing

don't initiate casual physical contact out of nowhere it'll be like in the sims when you fuck up so bad it fills out the relationship bar all red in one go

doesn't eat around others

like... really weird about eating around others he just simply won't, you'll have an easier time getting him to hold your hand then you will getting him to eat around you

a few fun facts about how he eats because no one will ever see it lmao: tiny bites, chews the appropriate amount of time (??? dfkjgkfldg), makes the funniest faces when something gets stuck in his teeth he hates that he stops eating all-together if it pisses him off too much, if something is too big and he'd have to bite into it sideways (like a burger) he'll break it into smaller pieces

do you know just how big fenrir was? how dangerous? the norse all-father pissed his pants every night thinking about him, do you understand--... patrick misses this more than he lets on

if you suddenly grab him for whatever reason, try to hug him all of a sudden or pull him out of the way or do the thing where you're running and try to drag him along, unfortunately for you, you will get hit

he's genuinely so fking funny if you just let him make faces at you because he makes them a lot, he's just very good at hiding them/making them whenever no one's looking

like, deadass, he doesn't comment even on the wildest bullshit, but the absolute range of expressions he's secretly performing behind the back of whoever is spouting said bullshit, artistic, almost

patrick's character resolves solely around a very composed character suffering under intense self-imposed self-control where nearly every aspect about his being is purposefully portrayed as such, all while, hidden beneath this control, hide two wolves: the part of patrick who wants to steal a cop car and drive it into a tree, and the part of patrick who wants to be kissed very softly on his cheekie

if you tell him a very stupid, dangerous idea, patrick will very calmly suggest you absolutely do not do that, but depending on your relationship, he will actively sabotage the situation until you end up forced to enact that idea and then he'll pretend he's not having the time of his life

like, i cannot stress how much of a bastard he is if you get on his bad side, and i don't mean the bad side where he'll just violently avoid you (he's more avoidant than prone to conflict) but the part where he thinks you're just sort of shitty and because you are, he's absolutely within his rights to openly fuck with you

he's loki's eldest, mind you

doesn't even resent loki & angrboda, didn't even know those guys, whatever

my lovely wolfie here has range~, meaning you can damsel-in-distress-ify him easily, but if the mood strikes he's the dragon you should run from

[ortelassa-goldstein]

THIS IS ALL COMPLICATED (except Gale lol)

Another shitpost about my beloved tav Haltyrr. Now about her relationship with companions. More details under the cut.

template by @raysoffrost, thank you!

(Please note - everything below is written on behalf of my oc. My own opinion may be different! I find all the characters charming, but from Hal's point of view it's a little more complicated) (oh and pls ignore my bad english, i try my best, thank you)

Shadowheart. This girl is harmed. She bleeds painfully right front of me and pretend to be fine, pretend no one sees her weakness. She NEEDS something. Protection, maybe? I dont understand. She is so funny in her pathetic rudeness. When I look at her, I feel my own weakness, and it's sucks. I should stay away. Lae'zel. I never seen githyanki before, and this woman was mystery… For some time. She's annoying, she's predictable, and… amazing in her faith. I adore her directness and urgency to fight to the death for her ideals, but also this is a blindness. She always follows the line of least resistance. People like Laezel are good on battlefield. I need these type in our journey, but she and i will never be an equal and never understand each other. Maybe one day she'll try to kill me, or, maybe I'll kill her first. Karlach. A simple woman, maybe too simple for me, but, in any case, she knows how to prioritize correctly and live in the present moment. She is very sensitive and perfectly defuses the situation if tense raises because of someone else's sick ego. We need her. Actually, I think, everyone needs a woman like Karlach. Jaheira. I don't know how to treat her. Sometimes she looks so much like me and this is pisses me off. But sometimes I find sweet how she grumbles and looks at everyone like at stupid children. I'm sure she sees it too - we are quite similar, and it's better for us to keep a respectful distance from each other, otherwise one day well fight to death, and then we both regret it. Halsin. Well, he's huge, a druid and an elf at the same time. It's a terrible mix in my opinion. Sometimes I'm just freaking SCARED of him. Druids are strange af. Elven druids?! Please don't. Part of me despises Halsin for just running away from his beloved grove when it needs a competent guidance more than anything else, but at least my weirdos like him. (or I'm too soft-hearted). Gale. If someone hurts Gale, it will be the last thing they will do in their lives ever. (I wish I could beat the shit out of his ex, but it's hard with goddesses.) Perhaps this man is the only one from all over the upper world who really understands and accepts me. I don`t know how he did it, but my trust in him is unshakable. Magic, probably. Astarion. I don't blame him for trying to survive. I blame him for doing it ridiculously. Sometimes he tires me so much that I want to tie him up and throw into the river. Next to Astarion, I feel like a babysitter, and this is the last thing I would like to do in our situation. I think sooner or later this pathetic elf will get angry because of a something Very Important For Him in a teenager way and leave, and it would be noble of me not to stick a dagger in his back. If you want to be respected, respect in return, darling. Wyll. I don't understand what he's still doing in my camp at all. I mean, I've heard so many rude things from him about how unreasonably cruel I am that it's even funny. I behave quite decently and don't even point out to Wyll that he seems to be much more interested in wine, pretentious speeches and condemning everyone in a row (me in particular), instead of doing, you know, things. He also brought this annoying devil with him. Oh, spider queen, give me strength.

[lordoftablecloths]

vent post i guess i dont know i just wanted to write stuff down instead of just go ing to bed and crying over it you can just scroll past it

im fine im sane im noramal im so unbleiveably cringe ,, the only person i have irl- fuck, or even online for that matter- to show the dumbass things i write is my silly little dumbass younger brother who doesn;t understand what im trying to get at and i guess its not his fault, i seriously doubt he's spent unhealthy amounts of time making various short scenerios in his head about charcters he came up with and eventually trying to give them a story and write little things about them in google docs because where else am i supposed to put this and its just ,, he doesnt know wht im trying to do and i dont know how to explain it to him because the "history" i gess behind it is so fucking complicated by now that these characters arent even the same characters as they were when i originally created them, other than some physical attributes and their names and he just knows them as the random cringe shit i made up in middle school but so many years have passed by now that these stupid fuckers whose only purpose to serve is to make me stop remembering that i exist and ive gotten too attatched to them because who else was i supposed to get attatched to when i was going through an identity crisis at the time- and, quite frankly, still fucking am- and it was so much easier to pretend i dont exist and just project my flaws and insecurities and underlying subconcsious thoughts into these charactes that no one knows about except me and oh god im just created a long ass vent post on tumblr that no one's going to read and no one understands the story behind fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck whatever ill go ahead and post this unfinished thing because no one's going to get it either way ill probably delete it later if it doesnt get buried under reblogs

dont think too much about this i just got sad because my brother was giving me a bunch of criticism on an outline of a story i was working on- which is fair, i need to take criticism- but he only knows the characters in it as their semi-formed cringe versions so i chickened out half way and now i feel bad because i was really proud of this thing for the whopping span of like one day before i decided to show it to another human person instead of letting it rot away inside of me like i usually do and now i feel bad about my writing skills

im trying so hard to just take his words with a grain of salt because this kid does not have nearly as much experience with writing as i do, but i feel like im copying too many of my inspirations (DnD, generic fantasy story about defeating evil creature, silly tropes, etc,,) which sucks because that was just like the first two pages of the outline and theres nine fucking pages and like the second half of it was what i put the most effort into and i felt like the ideas were really origianl but i could make myself let him naturally get to that part of the outline because i was starting to feel really bad and wieerd and oh god he is looking at ideas i havent ever expressed to another human person even though i am very familaiar with because i came up with them and they havebeen in my head for at least a year or two by now and have been haunting me ever since so instead of skipping ahead to the parts that were really good in my opinion but would have made no sense without context i just told him to piss off i gues s

i dont know. i feel dumb. i feel stupid. ive put so much effort into this stuff and the concept that ive been wasting my time feels like too heavy of a weight to handle. god none of this porbobably nmakes any sense ,,,,,,,,, i guess this is why i feel miserable when the fanart and shitpost memes i post get a comically larger audience and attention than the art relating to my silly goofy ocs, because these stupid fucking characters are all thats keeping me going . call me cringe, but is it still cringe if the concept that maybe i too can be around people that love me and instead of having to like me in spite of my faults love me for them keeps me from fucking killing myself is it still cringe?

if a tree falls in a forest and no one's around, does its fall even make a sound? (shit piss fuck sorry i dont remember the original quote and all i can remember is tha t one line from that one musical i dont remember what it was)

if an autistic moron that cant even talk to a cashier without having a panic attack makes a universe full of fictional characters of his own cfreation then an alternate universe, then several alternate universes, then a spin off from that original universe and etc etc but its all just on google fucking docs and no where else except deleted excerpts from a dead wattpad account, did he ever even create anything at all?

its pointless. its all so fucking pointless. its a waste of time. why do i do this at all. its so fucking pointless. it makes no fucking sense. you cant just make a story with characters in it, then make a fucking fantasy au of that universe with the same characters but with different designs and wildly different personalities and then make a whole fucking complicated lore-filled story about the fantasy au version while the original universe's story is still left mostly unfinished like forget about a first draft of the text i havent even finished the first ddraft of the outline yet buckarooooooo

okay fuck you guys thats all i want to tell you im going to go pretend to myself to try to go to sleep and then cry now

[scoobydoodean]

Ah... That helps a lot—and your English is great! This was more a case of me lacking requisite context to understand the type of take in question without a little more to go on. I was thinking a few possible avenues, and the example helps a lot.

I'll admit that, were it not in my inbox, and I just saw this example take written somewhere, I wouldn't bother talking about it. I find this headcanon about Cas's fall... to be blunt... horribly dull and silly and unworthy of taking seriously. It's not interesting to me, and I don't think there's any actual support for it... at all. That doesn't mean people can't headcanon whatever they want (I mean I myself have been shitposting "Dean is psychic" truthing for the bit) but you know... different ways of making brain go brrrr makes the world go round. This take on Cas has about as much appeal to me as licking 10,000 postage stamps.

Dean does not represent the narrative or carry authorial power—not even subconsciously. If he did, things would go his way much more often. Instead, things very often don't go Dean's way at all. He and his brother and his best friend are all repeatedly and explicitly referred to as tools or puppets or monkeys or dogs who should simply "play their roles" instead of daring to think they have a right to choose their own paths. I received a bit of mail about Dean's autonomy a while back that lays this out very well. To dismiss the persistent claims of ownership made over Dean's body and choices by various enemies, as well has his own family at various points, and assign him some sort of grand authorial power, is to dismiss something I think is made very plain within the text.

I also think "the evil authorgod" is often overstated by fans, in the sense that... the villains TFW faces, up to and including Chuck, don't operate by implanting thoughts in TFW's brains to force them to do their bidding. They operate through causality—through trying to effect the circumstances around our main characters to lead them down the desired path. For example, neither Azazel nor Ruby nor Lilith forces Sam to do their bidding by implanting thoughts of evil in Sam's brain. They instead upend his entire life—kill his girlfriend, possess his friends, kill his father, and kill him. Sam's death then in turn leads Dean to sell his own soul, and that in turn leads Sam, as he tries to stop Dean's impending demise and fails, to slowly be convinced that it was his and Dean's refusal to be ruthless (ex: by sacrificing a virgin) that resulted in Dean's death. Ruby convinces Sam that he alone could have prevented Dean's death, but he lost his chance when he refused to follow her directions out of caution and restraint and because it was basically Dean's dying wish. She frames all of this as Sam being weak and stupid and not being ready to do what's necessary. However, the reality is that the demons and angels always planned for Dean to go to hell because they needed Dean, lead down his own path by the circumstances that developed around him and then tortured horrifically for a decade, to reach a point where he would break the first seal. Sam then in turn is convinced to pursue a ruthless path because of the "consequences" of refusing to do what Ruby told him to do, and also develops a loathing for what he sees as "weakness" from Dean because Dean hasn't been driven to "do what needs to be done" in the same way Sam has, and Sam now believes that got Dean killed and sent Sam into this whole tailspin in the first place. So Dean's opinions and feelings are irrelevant and he can't be trusted because Dean doesn't see "the big picture" and doesn't know what's best for himself—he isn't capable of making the right decisions because he's weak and traumatized and too determined to ascribe to a code of conduct that prevents him from making the most efficient and logical plays. Demons have been building Sam to conclude that he needs to take a patriarchal role over Dean "for Dean's own good" for all of season 3 (ex 1; ex 2; ex 3).

While I have engaged in psychic!Dean truthing for the bit, I think the fallout of it is a tendency to think Dean pulled his conclusions about Ruby out of thin air, and there's no way Sam ever could have known she was manipulating him all along.... when... Dean is simply smelling the shit Ruby's shoveling and Sam's gone nose blind out of desperation. Ruby lies to Sam at every turn, and then admits that she lied but first says she lied to Sam and then says she actually lied to Dean. She tells Sam lying is just what he should expect because that's her nature, then in almost her next breath says she's NEVER lied to him. Then she tells Sam she lied to him because he's too stupid and weak to be trusted. She's tells Dean, behind Sam's back, that Sam is weak and Dean is strong and needs to help her toughen Sam up so he's prepared for life without Dean, because Dean can't be saved, while she is insisting she can save Dean. Then she tells Sam she can't save Dean but HE can save Dean if he just does what she says. She's extremely slippery about it, but her words are constant contradictions and she's so obviously full of shit if you pay attention for more than 5 seconds at a time to what she is actually saying and doing that no explanation framing Dean as psychic is even remotely needed to explain how Dean sees through it. There is no shift in reality that transforms Ruby suddenly into someone bad because Dean thought it up. That's nonsense and it's a disservice to the excellent writing happening around this era to suggest otherwise.

All of that to say... with the situation with Metatron, various events happening around Castiel lead him to believe that Metatron is someone he can trust or has to trust whether he wants to or not. I see no reason to defend denying the obvious—that Metatron was manipulating him from the beginning. I don't think he's stupid for trusting Metatron, just like I don't think Sam was stupid for trusting Ruby as much as he was in pain and he was self-deceived, but Dean doesn't "cause" either to suddenly get punished in a way that wasn't already going to happen. That's just nonsense.... boring nonsense that I think does the show zero favors, as I happen to like the Team FREE Will dynamic, where the characters are driven by the desire to make their own choices but also face the consequences of their own choices backfiring in various ways because free will is a double-edged sword and they are flawed people (we see this with no one more than we see it with Cas).

I do agree with you also that the goal of this sort of headcanon feels rather transparent. It IS ultimately just another example of some fans desperation to strip away Sam and Cas's free will and the fascinating and complex reasons behind their choices, and make all of the consequences Dean's fault. Unless I'm mistaken, I don't think Dean as someone with literal control over the narrative (whether consciously or subconsciously) is actually very pervasive at all though. I think that probably most people, like me, don't find this very interesting unless they have an ulterior motive.

When I joined the fandom, I subscribed wholeheartedly to the "The NaRrAtIvE punishes and is angry at X/Y/Z" as a stand-in for "Dean punishes and is angry for X/Y/Z." But it all comes back to ascribing actions to Dean that he is NOT actually responsible for. I think that includes Sam's own actions and Cas's actions against Heaven, no matter if they're, "all for you, because of you," or not.

I was wondering if you feel similarly and if you think this tendency to blame Dean for cosmic actions is part of why so many ppl tend to throw their anger on him.

So I want to respond to this, but I am having trouble with the first paragraph, and while I think I get the gist of the ask, I'm worried I might be missing important context by being confused about the first part. Would you mind clarifying anon?

[utilitycaster]

Like, i get it that people can be frustrated that something they really like on a character, (ie. Glasses on Imogen) is not canon, and i get making shitposts about it or venting for whatever reason

The problem lies when people make a whole thread about how a player doesn't know their character and their canon decisions are bad somehow? And it's not like Laura hasn't acknowledged the glasses hc, she has several times in th show, she just doesn't share that canon for whatever reason she might have

It's a big problem with actual play podcasts that the viewers take away from the player's agency to play their own canon, CR has a big breach between the audience and the players, plus the fact that they are professional actors, so viewer opinions rarely influence the characters in a meaningful way. But MAN is it frustrating to see

So I agree with much but not all of this. Because here's the thing: this is not actually a breach of player agency. Like, to be clear, I think the people doing this sometimes believe that if they're loud and obnoxious enough they'll get what they want, but in the end what this means is that you might notice that the players of any podcast/show that's large enough that they don't rely on Twitter for connections anymore have become really hard to reach on Twitter. Like, no matter how much art people make of Imogen in glasses, in the end, Laura decides, and she can just block people she doesn't like. And frankly, even when Critical Role was live? So much was quietly decided behind the scenes. Like, Taliesin had decided Molly was not a character who could be resurrected from well before Molly's death; no matter how much some sad rando on Twitter screams and cries even to this day, it won't change that.

I think it's okay to wish your fanon were canon - I mean, technically that's all shipping is, right - but I think there's a point where someone with a reasonable relationship to fiction says "man, that sucks that this went in a direction other than the one I wanted" or even "I don't like how this was written/played out" but to say it's objectively incorrect is just...you don't know what's correct! There isn't necessarily an objectively correct answer!

I also think that while Laura creating Imogen as a character who doesn't wear glasses is not an example of this, two of the biggest examples of entitled fans I can think of recently are the current ACOC D20 debacle, and the incredibly misogynist and obnoxious way people talked about Madeleine Roux's Lucien book. The people screaming the loudest have all, truly, been people who created fanon, and who then saw someone else be hired to essentially create sanctioned canon as a collaborator and instead of saying "oh cool! someone else playing in my same space doing their thing" they threw a massive tantrum because the other person had different ideas. It's literally just people who are bad at understanding that other people exist separately from them and have their own feelings and ideas. Coincidentally, people who lack this kind of understanding also tend to come up with really stupid ideas.

Honestly that's kind of the guiding principle behind the vast majority of fandom bullshit:

People want to simultaneously have the scrappy independence and cool fuck-the-man vibes of the underdog [fanon], and the actual power of those in charge [canon]. Obviously, this is impossible. If you realize this you'll be able to strike a balance. You will also understand a lot of real-world political and social dynamics on the micro and macro level.

I keep going to metaphors of early childhood here and some of this is because I have three younger siblings so I've seen (and been a part of) this countless times, and some of it is because truly all of this is full-grown adults acting like the worst kid in preschool who is definitely going to have to repeat it because they are not kindergarten ready but like, the vibe is when a child is not playing with a toy but also if anyone else touches the toy they scream bloody murder.

Anyway though as I said yesterday, yeah it's frustrating because you're watching people who are, as I think I said once, like a dog in a crate where the door is open but they're too fixated on trying to somehow push through the bars to turn around. But also it's a great source of mostly meaningless schadenfreude, because like, I'd feel bad if someone actually had bad things happen to them but if like, a ship doesn't happen, or Imogen doesn't wear glasses? That's just funny and enjoyable. I think an important skill in life is to say "yes it's incredibly annoying how much people are whining about this, but also they didn't get what they wanted, which is very funny."

[bonesbuckleup]

So I’m new to reading comics. I’m not someone who grew up with access to them, and no one in my immediate or extended family really were into them, and, to the best of my knowledge, most of my friends were in a similar boat. Basically, I’m an adult, and I’m new to comics, and I’m really enjoying exploring them.

I’m bringing this up because I found my way into DC comics via tumblr, which is arguably still the most centralized hub of fandom life, which means I entered through the recent issues. Because I’m me, I also immediately started making shitposts. Inevitably these shitposts have broken out of my dumb curated little enclosure to interact with bits of the fandom I’m generally unfamiliar with. Namely, gatekeepers.

Throwing this under a cut so it’s easily bypassable 👍

It has happened with literally all of my Batman posts that break ~500 notes. People show up in the tags to rant about how sick they are of people on tumblr getting characters wrong, or not understanding canon, or getting mad because of something getting ignored that happened in canon 20+ years ago. They start off by attacking immediately, and getting angry, and ranting about how new fans are so awful/annoying/stupid/etc.

I’ve been in fandom spaces for Far Too Long, so I’m used to dealing with input like this. But if 14/15/16 year old me was met with the kind of vitriol that shows up in my notifications sometimes? She would’ve disengaged with the material entirely and never interacted with the fandom again. She would’ve actively told people to stay out of those spaces because of how mean and unwelcoming many of the people were to her.

Listen: I do get it. It’s frustrating when someone misunderstands a thing you love. I really truly do understand. At the same time, though, we’re talking about characters who have been appearing for 20, 30, 50, 80 years. Characters who have had hard resets and retcons done 3+ times. Characters who have been written by tens or hundreds of different writers and drawn by just as wide a range of artists. It is next to impossible to pick one version of any of them that is The Definitive Version.

And to use myself as an example? Like I said, I’ve been reading these comics since March-ish. I work full time. I hang out with friends. I am querying an original book. I’m reading other books. I need to cook and clean and grocery shop and take walks and get writing done. Most weeks, I spend 1-2 hours reading comics, if that. I had to start somewhere, so I went with some Tim-centric runs (Lonely Place of Dying, the Contagion arc, Battle for the Cowl, Red Robin and related issues, and am now right around where Steph has the baby in his Robin run) and am now wading into Nightwing (1996). So the versions of the characters in my head are related to these moments in time, the early/mid nineties and 2009/2010ish eras. Those versions of the characters may also directly contradict your version, and that’s okay!

What’s not okay is how people immediately see a post and assume the worst instead of taking the opportunity to introduce a new fan to your version of these comics. Taking 2 seconds to be kind is the same amount of time it takes to rip someone’s head off. Like, instead of “jfc, I can’t believe this is framed as a joke when it’s canon, I’m so sick of this, try opening a comic,” try, “Hey guys! This is actually in canon! If you like this concept, check out these runs/issues for how it plays out.”

You all have a really great opportunity to expand your fandom in a dynamic and interesting way. It just makes me sad and a little frustrated to see people moaning about how comics aren’t appreciated enough, and then actively chasing away people who are new to them. No one is going to be able to absorb nearly a century’s worth of content overnight, and expecting them to stay out of fandom spaces until they have a sufficient knowledge base (whatever that means to you) literally defeats the point of fandom.

EDIT: also, just a quick note, for every interaction I’ve had with a gatekeeper in some way, I’ve had 3 interactions with wonderful and helpful people who have directed me to runs/issues that I may enjoy. This is definitely not an “all fans” complaint. There are just some very loud voices that sure are yelling a lot.

Anyway.

Those are my Monday thoughts.

Do with them what you will.

[galadhremmin]

Your shitposts have made me curious about the Silmarillion (LOTR fan here). Do you have recommendations for long form character meta? Similar thoughtful writings that can help someone understand the characters?

omg this is honestly such a funny and nice outcome of my stupid jokes-- I hope you enjoy reading the Silm! Hmm, I would say the swg site has a few useful biographies; http://www.silmarillionwritersguild.org/reference/characterofthemonth.php < character of the month https://www.silmarillionwritersguild.org/reference/topic <various. But I'd recommend starting out by just reading it yourself. The Silmarillion was put together after Tolkien's death, and it really is unfinished; no one knows what it would have looked like exactly if he did get to publish it himself. And so there is a whole archipelago of older and newer versions of the stories and their world to explore when you're done. The fun thing, to me, about the Silmarillion (and related materials) is that layeredness. A lot of female characters are absent from the version C. Tolkien published, and the Turin's story as well as Tuor's are really not presented at their best. But the book can also be read without really delving into that background. It really does work well on its own. I know everyone is different, so maybe reading it without character biographies etc. at hand would make it overwhelming for you, but I really think forming your own impression before really delving into others' is very valuable! It's not a book like LoTR. There is very little dialogue, and feeings/motivations etc. sometimes are things you have to infer or dig up from the other materials if you want. It reads somewhat like a history book, and a lot of people find it pretty dry. I don't, but then I also love very dry history books, so... I think if you want to enjoy your reading experience being patient might help; pausing to picture what is being described and consider what is happening. Take your own notes! Make little drawings of what you think things look like. Keeping track of all the Fin- something guys really messes with people sometimes (and worse, they also have names in Quenya, rarely used in Silm but often in fanfic), but there should be a family tree in the back of the book.

I recommend reading it as a physical book, not on an ereader or laptop -- so you can put a little post-it note here and there and flip back to the family tree if all those Fin- somethings start bothering you. ;)

Oh! Also! If you like things with more dialogue, maybe start with Unfinished Tales or The Children of Hurin instead? Also, there are a lot of Tolkien scholars out there who have produced work more coherent and insightful than me rambling about various characters on tumblr. I can recommend some books if you want-- though it might take me a while to get back at you simply because it's been some time since I read them, and would have to comb through my pile to see if I actually still think they're good haha! It's a book that really becomes very enjoyable the more you engage with it. Anyway... yes I hope you enjoy your Silmarillion reading experience; let me know if you do! :D

[evilkitten3]

THAT INTERVIEW THOUGH my brothers and i like to play the "who would win x vs y" game a lot and sometimes goku gets shuffled in and i always have to add the caveat that, if the other character is mostly a good guy, this isn't a fight to the death fight it's a friendly comparison fight.

like if the question is "who could win" the answer is usually goku. but i can't imagine him going all out the way he would if it was a fight to the death but if it wasn't, goku wouldn't be going all out bc he just. doesn't like hurting people. for him, that's an unfortunate but necessary part of life, but it isn't something he actively seeks out.

vegeta, though... well, i imagine that a large part of that is just his life having been pretty much a continuous stream of traumatic events, but regardless of why, it's pretty clear from the get-go that hurting people for him is a bonus, at least at the beginning. it makes sense that he's like that, both given the general attitudes of most of the saiyans we've met and vegeta's own upbringing, but either way, vegeta when we first meet him enjoys hurting people

i think vegeta is someone who has always had someone he needed to be better than– initially, that was frieza. vegeta's goal has always been another person and he doesn't easily swap between targets, so once goku beat frieza his target switched to goku. before goku did that, vegeta just seemed to see him as someone he'd need to kill after he'd dealt with frieza himself, but frieza was still his true goal. once goku had won, though, goku took frieza's place as "person i need to be stronger than" for vegeta, and that didn't change even when vegeta learned that goku hadn't killed frieza and future trunks did it instead. f!trunks actually ended up taking goku's original place of "i'll kick his ass later" (but he got out of it by vegeta going "wait i'm his dad?" and then much later going "wait hang on i actually care about this kid wtf")

anyway, that's why - to me, at least - it was such a big deal that vegeta accepted goku being stronger than him at the end of the manga. it wasn't just him going "oh well guess i'll give up forever" like his post-cell sulking, it was him finally accepting that he didn't need to defeat goku, that it was possible for both of them to exist together

that's something goku never needed to learn– for goku, it's always been an option to coexist with people, it's always been acceptable that other people could change. it hasn't always been easy, but most of goku's friends were his enemies at some point.

that's part of what makes goku and vegeta's relationship so fascinating for me– they have so much in common, but their worldviews are so fundamentally different that it's almost impossible for them to properly understand each other. i talked about this a bit on my dbz shitpost blog, that goku and vegeta didn't understand each other until literally being the same person, but i focused more on vegeta bc i'm me. on goku's end, i think it's in large part that he chooses to see the best in everyone. or, i guess, it's more that he chooses to see the best that everyone could be. goku believes in second chances, and third, and fourth, and so on. to goku, it never seems to be too late to become a good person. or at least to stop being a bad one.

a lot of people dismiss goku's kindness as idiocy - which makes sense to some degree; one of his character traits is being "stupid" - but as i've gotten older, i've begun to appreciate it more and more. people can't change if you don't let them– and goku is someone who is always willing to let people change. no matter how awful someone is, goku will always believe they can become a better person. there's something beautiful in that, i think.

[verfound]

FIC: Happy Anniversary? (MLB/Lukanette)

Characters/Pairings: Luka Couffaine, Marinette Dupain-Cheng; Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng

Rating: T / PG-13 / Teen

Summary: Leading up to their tenth anniversary, Marinette has some…interesting dreams concerning her husband, who doesn’t really understand why she’s suddenly waking up crying and mad at him? He figures it’s just the pregnancy hormones.

Author’s Notes/Warnings: …I think this is a fic equivalent of a shitpost. 😂 I started this idea back when I was first piecing Hey Stupid together, and it was just this little joke of “Hey Luka’s been Really Dumb Lately” and all these “TEN YEARS LATER” fics? So it kinda just festered away, and then LBSC had their Sprintiversary, so I kinda wanted to run with the “Anniversary” theme and finish this up?

Except I’ve been Very Sick (COVID and complications) while all this was going on, so I’ve been super rusty (and exhausted, and foggy-brained), and it was not sprinting. I had to set it aside again while recovering, but I think we’re finally there. So hopefully this actually makes sense, because it’s also very possible that it makes sense in my (not quite reliable at the moment) head and didn’t translate all that well. 😬🤞

“Happy Anniversary?”

The dreams started about a week before their anniversary. (The number of the anniversary was in debate and slightly irrelevant, except that Marinette was arguing it was ten instead of five because Luka had thought it’d be romantic to surprise her with a wedding on the anniversary of their first date. The number was only kind of important because, when the dreams kept coming, Luka was convinced the whole ten year anniversary thing actually was important.)

…but back to the point.

Luka didn’t immediately think very much of the dreams: he had been sleeping at the time, so of course he didn’t. Marinette was also about seven months pregnant with their first child and hadn’t been sleeping all that well lately anyway, so when he first felt her moving he simply thought the baby was giving her trouble again.

In fact, it wasn’t until she jerked awake, slapped him, and screamed “You asshole!” that he thought very much of the dreams at all.

[animebw]

Binge-Watching: Kaguya-Sama: Love is War S2, Episodes 4-6

In which the election arc goes in a welcome direction, we get a fantastic new cast member from a fantastic trope subversion, and I need to stop fucking laughing before I pass out.

Those Who Do Good

It’s a credit to this season’s election arc that it never even really tried to build tension around the election’s outcome. We all know there’s no way our lovable cast is gonna be split apart; one way or another, the old student council was getting back together. Trying to spark conflict by acting as if they might lose would fall flat. So, wisely, Kaguya-Sama acknowledges right up front that Shirogane’s basically a shoe-in to win, right down to shoving poll numbers in our faces and pointing out all the ways his competition isn’t measuring up on the messaging front. Which frees it up to use this time on a much more worthwhile endeavor: introducing and making us care about Iino Miko, the newest addition to our core cast. And the result is a much more satisfying arc than the obvious alternative would’ve been, with a much more personal, emotional edge. This isn’t the story of Shirogane’s triumph over a dangerous opponent; this is the story of why that supposed opponent deserves our empathy just as much as the characters we already know and love.

And it’s honestly kind of brilliant how the show makes that subversion part of the point. We’re introduced to Miko as an antagonistic force threatening to steal Chika away, someone who instantly gets under Shirogane’s skin (”Is he making a younger student his rival?”) and raises our hackles by threatening the fun times we’ve come to enjoy. I’ve seen countless characters of this type before, “no fun allowed” types who are basically just strawmen preaching unreasonable standards or decorum and morality. They exist solely to be dunked on by the fun characters and have their faced rubbed in the error of their ways, with little thought given to empathizing with them (Often with fairly sexist undercurrents: there’s a reason ecchi rom-coms usually have have a girl of this character type who exists to be sexually humiliated as “punishment” for her unrealistically puritanical standards of decency). So at first, we’re primed to think of Miko the same way, as someone who exists to be defeated and proven wrong and maybe “redeemed” by realizing how wrong and stupid she was. But instead, Kaguya-Sama defangs her right from the get-go by pointing out how her overly strict policies leave her with basically zero chance of winning a popularity contest like this. It tells us right up front that we shouldn’t feel threatened by her... and then, with that tension dispelled, it offers us the chance to understand her instead.

And my god, is it a welcome change. Miko may be the only character of this type I’ve seen that actually gets people like her. It understands why she’s so driven to do the right thing, even when her methods are misguided and less than helpful. It understands how someone who’s parents are driven by a strong sense of justice would grow up with a strong sense of justice herself, both inspired by their example and selfishly wishing they didn’t need to spend so much time working. It even understands that sometimes, overly moral people like her can be right! That brief moment where she points out all of Chika’s accomplishments to the boys proves that she genuinely comes from a place of wanting to help people and honor their accomplishments. But it also understands why her peers would be rubbed the wrong way by someone as unreasonable as her, and how her poor communication skills would turn her into an object of ridicule. But even as she show mocks her more outrageous ideas- Seriously, mandated student haircuts are a terrible, terrible plan- it has nothing but respect for how hard she works to make the world a better place (”All she wants to do is the right thing. Why would you look at her like that?”) Even an endlessly cynical Reddit shitpost brought to life like Ishigami (”What else but the feeling in our heart?”) respects her sincerity and despises those who’d look down on someone as earnest as her. She may be out of her depth, but that’s no reason to dismiss her out of hand; with a little polish and nuance, and a little more public speaking experience, Miko could grow up into an incredible leader. And Shirogane gives her that chance by using his scary eyes to put her in the position where she’s msot comfortable: standing up one-on-one to a lax student and bouncing her ideals off him in a battle of wits that shows just how passionate she is about helping people. My god, is it great to see her break out of her shell like that. I’m greatly looking forward to the energy she brings to the rest of the student council; with how good this show’s character writing is, there’s no telling what fantastic jokes we’ll get out of her.

MY FUCKING SIDES

But as great as this little arc was, and as great as it is to see Kaguya-Sama continue its characters development in slow but meaningful ways (”I need you by my side.” aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA), it’s actually the comedy of this season that’s impressing me the most so far. This was always a really funny show, but oh my god, season 2 has just been making me cackle on a near-regular basis. Every skit has at least a couple moments that damn near make me choke on my spit, and even the lows are still higher than they were last season. And I think what’s pushing it to the next level is how layered the jokes are now. There’s not just punchlines and funny faces, there’s punchlines and funny faces and visual impact and bizarre, instantly striking imagery all popping off at once. Gags build on top of each other and follow so close on each other’s heels that there’s almost always something funny going on, not counting the times when it actually wants to be serious. To see what I mean, just look at the start of Episode 4′s second skit. It cold-opens on Shirogane and Chika doing what I’m pretty sure is a note-perfect parody of Monogatari’s first episode, framing their talk with the same lighting and scenery as Araragi and Hanewaka’s first sunset conversation complete with a Shinbou-style camera pan up Chika’s body, snappy insert shots of the characters’ eyes overlaid with meaningful words, and a whole boatload of writing and drawing equipment clattering to the floor like they’re falling out of Senjougahara’s skirt. Then the next scene throws Shirogane right into the pathway of Gyaru Hayasaka, who proceeds to bust down the door with the most ridiculous greeting I’ve seen in a long time (HEY HEEEEEY). Which naturally leads to the entire class freaking out over the possibility of Shirogane confessing to Kaguya, and their freakouts are punctuated by Kaguya doing just the most adorable blushy head-down run back and forth, and by that point I’d been hit with so many jokes from so many different angles that I had to start coughing to stop myself from laughing too hard. It’s amazing.

And that frenetic energy is at a constant hum throughout this season. Every skit has this much comedic variety. Every joke is punctuated by perfect voice acting and facial expressions and visual flair all at once. Kashiwagi freaking out over Kaguya’s pure view of love because she’s already three steps ahead of her and gets mortally embarrassed at the idea of taking “pure love�� seriously is funny enough on its own, but layer it in with some of the most inventive comic faces we’ve gotten from this show yet, and her flustered panic is twice as hilarious. Chika reluctantly speed-running Shirogane through another backbreaking training arc is ten times as powerful when every line delivery and every manic expression drives home just how emotional an ordeal it is to both of them, especially when it’s punctuated by background gags like Beethoven portraits going from frowning to smiling as Shirogane’s singing improves. Kaguya’s blistering tantrum during the epilogue of the election arc may well be Aoi Koga’s most bananas performance yet, and gags like Hayasaka turning the volume up and down on her by flexing her fingers drive the absurdity right into the stratosphere. And my fucking god, the climaxes to these skits are second to none. I thought Kaguya awakening a fetish for Shirogane’s sleep-deprived eyes was the hardest I would laugh all session (“Hayasaka has learned true horror.”), but then the Shirogane Learns to Sing bit caps off with Chika breaking down crying in front of the choir she’s conducting because she’s so proud of how far he’s come, and the gorgeous character animation as she slowly falls to pieces is legitimately the most pitch-perfect sincere expression of that kind of emotion I think I’ve ever seen in anime. If this were a dramatic moment, it would absolutely make me burst out in tears, but because it’s the climax of a comedy skit, seeing this stunningly beautiful melodramatic visual storytelling make me absolutely lose my shit. It’s the best example yet of this show’s “Be so sincere it wraps back around to being ironic” comedic sensibility, and even thinking about it now still puts a smile on my face. Never change, you beautiful disaster child.

Odds and Ends

-OH SHIT YOU PISSED HAYASAKA OFF WATCH THE FUCK OUT

-I don’t know what’s a bigger look, ditzy schoolgirl Hayasaka or beanie tomboy Kaguya. Both are good.

-”The videos she watches are usually random things getting squashed in a press!” Damn, quality Youtube taste.

-akjsdhaksd oh my god the tiered jaw drop

-”STOP MAKING THE SITUATION WORSE!” Chika, I appreciate you.

-Oh god, Normal Eyes Shirogane just looks wrong.

-”My brain is itchy!” When suddenly, Re:Zero.

-”Just leave it to your mama!” CHIKA PLEASE I’M GONNA DIE

-”No one remembers campaign promises after the election anyway!” “You’re a politician’s daughter, alright.” pfft

-”You two really do deserve each other!” skjdfsdkjfh saw that coming.

-”I’ve come to empathize with this person. Eating him would be too cruel.” oh my god I love her

-”We even got #buzzedforbuzzcuts trending on Instagram!” LMAO

-Hayasaka, please don’t kill Kaguya. We like her.

God, this season is great. See you next time!

[maggyoutthere]

It's funny how I'm actually putting effort on this. I'm putting actual effort on a shitpost.

Anyways I said I'd write a bad sonic creepypasta so here it is. Here's the catch: I like how its turning out so imma make it a 2-pary story. This is the first part. It doesn't have any scary shit but it has the basics for a shitty creepypasta: someone gets a old pirated/unreleased/defective game and tries them out despite getting warned that bad shit might happen.

Again I'm not a fluent English speaker so expect some grammar error and stuff like that ._.,

So ladies, gentlemen and non-bis, I present to you-

Sonic: Battle of Metal and Blood (Part 1)

Synopsis: Teen gets nostalgic mid-quarentine and starts playing old Sonic games. She asks for some cheat codes and shit happens.

So for context; I'm a 17 year old girl stuck home because of quarantine.

It had been 4 or 5 months since the virus sent everyone home. Students were playing Animal Crossing and DOOM all day to fill in the summer hours since no one could go outside. I never liked going to the beach so I was never really bothered by it.

Like many people, I found myself going back in time to easier phases of my life. I was rewatching old cartoon shows from my childhood, getting into MCR and P!ATD and just living in pure nostalgia. I also started getting into gaming again, even going to the point of setting up my Wii again just to play Epic Mickey, but I didn't exactly grow up with the Wii. I was more of a Playstation kid, so much that me and my bro got a Playstation 2 from our cousin when he eventually bought the 3rd one for himself.

My cousin was older than us; I remember him being 16 or 17 when I was like 12, so he was kind of our gaming hero. If there was a level in Crash Bandicoot we couldn't beat, we'd call my cousin and he'd do it in 15 minutes. He knew all the cheat codes, all the secret levels and extra content for the games he had; he was like a genius to me and my lil bro, so when he gave us his old Playstation 2 and games me and my sibling knew we were in for a treat.

We got this Sonic Gems Collection for the Playstation 2 from him. It's like a port of various older Sonic games like Sonic CD, Sonic The Fighters, Sonic R and so on. I grew up playing that game, especially Sonic The Fighters since I wasn't very good at the racing games.

I still had a working controller and a lot of free time so I asked my bro for help setting up the console. The thing was so dusty I was actually scared it wasn't going to work. We clicked the power button and the light on the console turned on. Me and my brother held our breaths as we put the DVD in the console and crossed our fingers. As the screen lit up with the SEGA logo and music started playing, I just hugged him and cheered. He set up the console in my room so I could play without having to go to his room (he was the one keeping all the electronic stuff) and told me to have fun.

I didn't even know where to start. There was so much I wanted to play now that I actually knew what I was doing. I thought about starting with my favourite one out of the bunch: Sonic CD. I'm a sucker for the retro 2D pixel games so that was a must. It was better than what I remembered; the music was so catchy and the art style was vibrant and it stood out from a lot of games nowadays that go for a washed out "hyper realistic" look.

As I kept playing, I eventually reached the level where Amy tags along with Sonic for a while before Metal Sonic bursts through a wall and kidnaps her. Oh yeah, Metal Sonic was a thing. I remembered him from Sonic R and Sonic The Fighters - and the fact he was in the fucking cover art of the DVD case. I absolutely loved the fucker in the games though. He had a cool design, and the idea of the villain being a copy of the hero gone wrong was so interesting to me at the time.

I ended up passing the level and even making it to Stardust Speedway. I was sweating since I'd never come this far at any game. My bro was there cheering me as I tried not falling on spikes or getting hit by Metal Sonic's attacks. I ended up making it till the end on top, but it was kinda sad seeing Metal crash face-first against the door like that.

I was done with that for a while, so I went ahead and played Sonic R and Sonic The Fighters for nostalgia. Again, the fucker was there, either as a boss or as an unlockable character. I ended up noticing how there were a bunch of games missing. There were empty grayed slots with question marks instead of the game titles. I couldn't understand if the game was broken or if there was something I was supposed to do, so I called my cousin in hope he would somewhat tell me what to do. He ended up explaining how the game made you complete all the other games to unlock new ones. I thought that was kinda stupid so I asked him if he had any cheat codes or something to make the whole thing available. He told me he was going to dig up his old stuff and ring me again if he found anything.

A few hours later, he sent me a message telling me he'd found something that should work. He told me he did have a cheat code but he thought it was best if I didn't do it. Here's the transcript from his message.

"There's something that might work but it's kinda weird. I got this memory card from a friend of mine and he said this should unlock all the hidden contents within the disc, but when I tried it some weird shit started happening. Most of the sonic games were unplayable no matter how many times I restarted the console or cleaned the disc. There should be an extra game slot but that's just a glitch. Something about the system trying to make up storage for the extra code. Just don't click on anything that looks like a glitch and you should be golden"

Well that was a bit discouraging, but we agreed to meet that afternoon so he could give me the memory card.

When I got home and plugged the cartridge into the slot on the console, I was kinda scared. What if the thing exploded or something? I gave it a try and the thing actually worked! As I clicked on the games section, everything was there! There were some vectorman games but I didn't know who that was at the time so I didn't really care about them. What I was more interested in was the museum. There were a bunch of unlockable promotional art and illustrations there that I never got to see as a kid, so you could imagine how joyful I was when I saw the museum section filled with pages upon pages of illustrations and renderings of the games. Some of them weren't even on the Gems Collection like some screenshots of Sonic Heroes.

I went back on the game menu and was surprised to see another game entry below all the vectorman ones. It was called "Sonic: Battle of Metal and Blood". What the hell was this? It surely wasn't in the cover art and a quick google search turned up nothing. Was it a glitch? It couldn't be; it looked too clean and intentionally made to be a glitch, not to mention that whole game titles don't just appear out of thin air. Game or not, something was programmed in there. I concluded it was probably someone's fan project that was in the memory card my cousin gave me. Why hadn't he mentioned it though?

I was too curious to turn down a mystery like this one, so I got up first to make a cup of coffee since it was already getting late. As I returned from the kitchen, I remembered to look at the synopsis of the game. I can't remember exactly what it said but it was something along the lines of:

"In this sequel to the famous Sonic CD, step in the shoes of Sonic's friends as they face their biggest challenge yet. Control Amy Rose and Miles "Tails" Prower and fight against the metallic faker himself, Metal Sonic, and stop him before he puts his plan to become the only Sonic in action"

Woah, that sounded exciting; I wasted no time. I got all cozy, kept my cup of coffee next to me

And pressed START.

To be continued in part 2

[whyamiinopmhellagain]

The Wrath of the Dragons

Metal Bat Reader Insert

**Trigger Warning, Major Character Death, Skippable Brief Torture Scene, Grieving**

This is for my friend, @opmheadcanons​. This gets heavy, I hope you like it. And thanks to @fatherwhump​ for letting me dump samples on you.

I also want to put out there. If anyone else is struggling, please, reach out and let me write an insert for you. Writing is a way for me to deal with my inner demons, and allowing me to project my struggles onto yours, and sympathize helps me cope. Please, do not hesitate to ask!

Their heart is pounding as they watch a pick-up truck collapse onto the civilians below it. All of the ability to give warning and spread information is now destroyed, so nobody knows where they are supposed to go, or what they’re supposed to do. It doesn’t matter anymore. Giant, scaly beasts were storming the city, knocking over buildings with their talons as if they are toddlers enjoying the terror they caused, knowing there is much glory to gain.

They keep running, even though their legs are slowly turning into jelly, and their vision is beginning to blur. Suddenly, someone grabs them by the waist. They wanted to squirm out of their grasp, but their legs had already been overworked. The second they get comfortable with their fate of being captured, they feel their capture push their head up so they both could lock lips. It was bruising, and rough, but it was passionate and familiar.

“Sorry to do this to you, sugar.”  He looks them dead in the eyes. “But, I wanted a chance to say goodbye, in case I don’t make it out of the shit show.” 

“You will.” They force themselves to say. “I love you, Badd.” 

“I love you too, (Y/N).” He starts to leave the alleyway. “And bye the way,” He shouts from halfway down the street. “Tell Zenko she’s gonna take over the world!” 

“I will baby!” They poke their head out from the alleyway. 

“Now, get that pretty little ass of yours outta ‘ere!” He smiles back at you, as he charges straight towards the seven dragons in the sky. 

Selfishness was eating them up inside. They desperately wanted to bring him back to their embrace, and kiss him one last time. Their mind drifts off to a time when he comes back; battered, beat up, and bruised, but safe. His eyes scan the crowd for them. When he sees them, he comes barreling over, kissing their face. They bring him his little sister, as he watches her cry of joy. The crowds begin to scream as he leans in for a tender, loving, kiss that says “I’m so glad you’re okay, and happy you’re in my life.”

A rusty pipe lands right next to them, causing them to realize where they are. They sprint off to see where he went. The orange beast’s flames turn the nearby park, and everything in it, to ash. The yellow one bashes a nearby office building with its tail. The green one roars, sending violent sound waves that harshly permeate the area.  

“ATTENTION HUMANS!"  The red beast growls. “If you want us to leave, you must agree to our terms!” Time stops for a minute. 

“Okay!” Badd shouts from the distance. “You punks have caused enough destruction already! We surrender! Whaddya want?”  

“We demand a sacrifice.” It continues. “It must be a powerful member of your species. He must be able to give us power, so that we can sacrifice it to our king. Then, and only then, will we leave.” A gasp spreads around the room. 

Badd takes a glance around at the surrounding area. City T had just been annihilated. So has City X, City V, and City W. There was nothing left of them but debris, ash, and corpses. City S was next. 

He knew what he had to do to stop them. 

“Alright, I volunteer.” The people part the way for their savoir to walk into his fate. Tears start welling up in their eyes. Their mind is begging him for him to not do this. Stay with them, just for long enough to grow old, start a family, watch Zenko graduate, get married, quit this stupid job, or for just one last, proper kiss goodbye. 

“Thanks for the ice cream, Badd.”

“No problem, baby. You deserve it.” He swings your arm over their shoulder. “You deserve the world. Hell, the universe!” 

“I thought I deserved the universe!” 

“You do too, Zen.” He picks her up with his other arm. “I’m going to do everything to give it to you. Both of you.” 

They don’t move. 

“Alright! I’m here!” Badd shouts. As he stands, the largest beast comes down, its royal purple wings softening his landing. One of its claws probes Badd’s chest. He presses it harder and harder, and they know Badd is doing his best not to scream.

“If we take this one, we can stop our slaughter for the next ten billion years!”

“Really, your majesty?” The red one says.

“Hey Scales, can we get on with this? Do you need me or not?” 

“Yes, we do.” The beast propels himself upwards. As the crowd awaits the event, Badd slowly raises his bat. Once his arm is fully extended, he lifts his pointer finger, pinky and thumb. The monarch of the beasts throws his arm back, charging a purple orb.  

“Stay strong everyone!” Badd addresses the crowd. 

“I’ll always be with you!” He stares directly at them. 

The orb comes crashing down, muffling his screams. All of the beasts have gathered to see their sacrifice writhe in pain. Badd can’t even see his shaking limbs as they give out. He feels his skin burning, as his cries of pain become weaker and weaker. He knows that his muscles and bones are next. He doesn’t waste his energy trying to save himself. He just thinks of the happy moments in his life on Earth, and the reason he was doing this. 

His gut told him it would all be worth it. 

----

The orb disintegrates, and nothing is left of the S-class hero. 

“HUMANS! WE THANK YOU FOR YOUR TRIBUTE! WILL WILL NOT BOTHER YOU FOR ANOTHER 10 BILLION YEARS.” The purple beast takes to the skies, and the rest follow. They sprint over, shaking and panicking to find something, anything remaining of their love. 

“NOOOOOO! WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE HIM?” They sob over the area where he should be laying. 

---

They lie in his queen sized bed. Everytime they tried to roll over and go to sleep, they couldn’t stop themselves from glance over to the other side, expecting to see his ruffled, black mop, the mesmerizing rise and fall of his chest, and his bulky muscles finally relaxing next to them.  His soft snores would normally bother them, but today, it would put them to sleep. It would give them the closure that everything would be okay, and that tomorrow, they would wake up in a cuddle puddle with his sister in the middle. He would kiss their nose and forehead, and recount the tale of his glorious victory of taking down an above dragon level threat as he made them breakfast. This couldn’t have happened. He couldn’t have been gone. Dragons don’t come from the sky demeaning sacrifice! He should be alive! He deserves life more than most of the heroes! He was 17! He had a very healthy and happy relationship! A bright future! A sister to care for! Instead, his sister was wrapped up in their arms, protecting them from the grief as long as they could. She had already seen enough, and she was only ten years old. The death of parents, and then her brother, the sweetest, kindest, toughest man they had ever met, was going to take a toll on this young girl's mind. She was tough, though. She fought for what she wanted. She was the spitting image of her brother, with a touch of her own grace She would make it through this. They knew they had a new job.

They needed to soften the blow as much as they could. 

---

Zenko had woken them up crying. 

“(Y/N)! I can’t sleep!” Zenko sniffles. 

“Me either, Zenko.” They lie. 

“I want my brother back!” She wails into their chest. 

“I want him back too, love.” 

“I want him to take me shopping! And make me mochi! And cake!” 

“I understand Zenko, darling. But, you have to get some rest.” They stroke her hair lovingly. It was the exact same color as her brother’s.

“WHY (Y/N)-chan, WHY?” They go quiet for a second.  

“You deserve the world. Hell, the universe!” 

“I thought I deserved the universe!” 

“You do too, Zen.” He picks her up with his other arm. “I’m going to do everything to give it to you. Both of you.” 

“He wanted to give us everything.” They look down at her puffy eyes and red cheeks, hugging her closer.

“Let’s make him proud.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This for you, Forrest. I haven’t had the personal experience of grieving in my life, so I kind of went with my gut on writing this. I’m sorry if this is inaccurate, let me know, and I’ll fix it. You write some of the best headcanons for the fandom, and your little shitposts bring me joy. I understand that sometimes I may come off as annoying in private messages, but you seem very chill, and have quite a bit of wisdom to you. This makes your super enjoyable to be around.  Feel free to talk at any time. Thank you for all the good you bring. We’re happy to have you here! 

Requests Open! *Unedited*

[maddiefriendlovesbilly]

Spencer x Ghost?

Spencer x Ghost

(AAAAA- it has been months since you sent this to me, and all i can say is im so sorry) Side note I have my friend @lethalbreadkills helping me with this one!

For reference: Maddie (maddiefriendlovesbilly) is green, Jimmy (lethalbreadkills) is red (((its 4:30 at the time i have joined this so im dead braincell wise sorry yall))) and Orange is stuff we decided together :3

Also this is so very chaotic im so sorry for this anon but this has been in my fuckin drafts for SO LONG and this is the only way its getting finished (its now 5 am uwu) im so sorry for all the shitposting i do its a mess. I shouldnt have been allowed here. (we finished at about 5:30 am its hell <3)

Sphost? Ghencer?? Sphoster??? I adore and despise them all equally.

We have decided that it should be BeanieGhost

Anyway I think this ship is really cute

They’re both so neurotic I can only imagine the chaos that would ensue

One of them starts a rant on some topic and the other joins the hell in

I’m an advocate of LETTING SPENCER INFO DUMP BECAUSE HE DESERVES IT OKAY

And Ghost would let this dream come true???

I would die for both of them and if Spencer told me I had to die I wouldn’t even complain, no questions I’d just be like “Aight.” I trust him that much.

(Not sure I trust Ghost’s judgment enough to do that unquestioningly; sorry Ghost)

Back on topic

I can’t imagine these guys on anything that comes close to society’s definition of a date

It’d be more like “hey you wanna come on this hunt with us?” “maybe, depends if there’ll be snacks” or like chilling in Spence’s room binging the entire star trek: original series in one sitting or “oops sorry about that level 11 entity that attached to my soul and is now wreaking havoc in your house, wanna make out later to make up for it?” “Fine but you also have to play three rounds of Call of Duty with me afterward”

They wouldn’t be romantic often but like highkey? I can see them throwing themselves into the line of fire for each other with a recklessness only they could survive

We can’t forget that Spencer is a more than 60,000-year-old overpowered demon/god/entity/thing, which, yes, could throw a slight wrench in this ship for multiple reasons, but I choose to make angst out of it instead.

Side note: Ghost is a chronic conspiracy theorist (and you can’t tell me otherwise) and every once in awhile Spencer will offhandedly say something like “Y’know I helped the Egyptians build the pyramids” and Ghost just goes fucking feral.

Look, I’m not saying Spencer IS touch-starved and most likely has issues creating and developing relationships and therefore avoids interpersonal connection, especially offline, but I AM saying he is prime material for it. (thats a lie thats exactly what shes saying don’t believe it) (I’m projecting okay dont judge me) (loser imagine projecting)

Imagine with me for a second: Why does Spencer willingly stay with a family who locks him in their basement with only minor complaining? He’s a near all-powerful entity just released into the world for Spence’s-sake - If he wanted to, there’s no telling what havoc he could wreak! So why doesn’t he? Why would someone so powerful, so terrifying, so dangerous that a group of people decided to seal him away forever stay with the first family he finds in sub-par conditions for years - especially someone who’s seen to be as high-maintenance as Spencer? Let me hit you with a theory: He’s chasing the feelings of validation, safety, and love - no matter how rarely it’s shown - that a family can provide. Being socially isolated for even a few years can do a number to a person’s psyche (I should know, I’m projecting onto this character right now), let alone thousands.

Now maybe Ghost can’t match thousands of years in isolation, but damn if he doesn’t have a few years of crippling loneliness on his record too.

I can see the two of them learning how to be vulnerable around others together, emotionally and physically; learning how to open up and how to talk through issues; and some third point, because points are better in threes.

(May I suggest that these losers are both trans but thats just me adding in my own projection lmao)

(You absolutely may)

Imagine the conversation thats just “so i have a murderer in my head thats an ass” “rip to u ig sounds like a you problem :///”

imo spence has trouble expressing emotions other than like,,, annoyance and haughtiness, its like sort of his go-to defence, so showing Ghost his emotions is a big step for him

I hear you, and i say yes good. (found this one headcanon that i kinda live by where he was uh, either autistic or adhd i dont remember but theres that too) OH yeah that would be at thing huh. Spencer: *is emotionally vulnerable @ ghost* ghost: oh shit im trusted??? Oh fuck uh.

Yeah so like…. Ghost and spence showing emotion at eachother is kind of :flushed: ghost be like: whats an emotion. Imagine having emotions fuciiing loser hhaha,,,, *laughs nervously*

Ghost is also very emotionally distant with most people so it would probably be like “what??? The fuck?? Emotions?????? You have those???”

Ghost and Spencer be like *gay*

So another idea is that maybe Spencer realizes Ghost doesnt play any games [like the uncultured SWINE he is] and decides he must [remedy] this and so he introduces him to like, nintendo first. (some bitches thought that said nintendo fortnite. Im bitches) and theyre playing like, mario kart or smash or smth and Ghost gets really [fuckin into it]

Ghost and spencer: *literally in eachothers laps playing fucking wii tennis*

Spooker: what are the- *TOAST FUCKING SLAPS A HAND ACROSS HIS MOUTH* shut up you dont wanna know what happens when its mentsonssbfdjfsd (sorry i had a stroke uwuwuwuw)

(Theyre in denial we don’t judge in this house)

They will not hesitate to play dirty either, they will straight up push each other over and vaguely flirt

Ghost is losing and straight up fucking goes “ur hot” and spencer actually dies and boom ghost is the winner. sparkle emoji Magic sparkle emoji

“I am Not a HomoSexual:™:” “Yeah, sure you aren’t” “Screw off”

Pet-names-ish: Asshole, Gaymer-Boy, casual insults, Mr. Spirit Bitch, Mistake, Loves Ghosts More Than His Boyfriend What A Fucking Loser aka Gay-ass

Pros:

They both open up a lot most likely. Gain someone to trust since they’ve sort of been through the same things (though on much different scales)

I can see soft hours of hanging in each other’s bedrooms

Spencer is a tsundere you cant tell me otherwise youre just a coward if you disagree

So is Ghost so this can only go well

Every time Ghost has to solve a case at the Acachallas Spence is just peaking out from his basement like “the fuck is this?? Hot Man??????”

Enemies to lovers 500k (Gets Hot and Steamy :flushed: NOT CLICKBAIT!!!!11!!!!! 18+!!!!!!! GAY LOVE StORY!!!!!!) Lemonz!!! Made from teh Sexiest of Wattpaders UWUWUWU YAOI Boys Love don’t like don’t read!! (this is so fucking stupid jkfnd) I hate this with a passion Q^Q. All my years of being a basic watpad fanboy have helped me to the moment i bring maddie to tears

The steam is just like,,,,, holding hands and being angy all the fuckin time the steam is literal because their anger translates into actual steam

Cons:

Their angst has nowhere to go and it just sits between them like two raccoons at a dumpster-style mexican standoff

They really start off hating each other huh. Like, I know this can still lead to healthy relationships but neither of them are very good at healthy relationships with people he hasn’t known for his Whole Life so that’s an Oh No.

They totally feed off of each other’s stupidity (but this could be seen as a pro too so take that as you will) as well as anger - im talking one-upping each other kinda shit

Its ridiculous honestly how intense it gets, like they straight up need intervention sometimes because they dont realize they can just STOP

Conclusions:

I think this would be a relationship that would that a lot of time and hard work to make work, but i think in the end it would be really super cute!! Like it would make no fuckin sense to anyone else but somehow they’d understand each other and help each other through their similar issues. Also theyre both big nerds in different ways and i think they’d have just ranting sessions back and forth over and over and it would be soft!!!!! So yeah, i think it would work, at least, i want it to :D

So. Maybe?? I feel like it could, but they’d need to work pretty hard to make it healthy and not constant fighting. Could be stupid amounts of cute and wholesome but also could be stupid amounts of oh no and pain, depending on how the two act. If they learned how to get along with each other and work past their differences it could be super cute and soft. Just a very, er, bumpy beginning. And middle. And end. (this makes me very nervous,,,,why did you mention an end) (wouldnt you like to know weather boy) (TvT) UFDUNS bumpy but soft . Agreeing with the loser gay, want this to work it’d be interesting :3

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 508

I mean, shame on me for allowing myself to get my hopes up that the show might have turned a corner last week. I should know better by now.

At least Young Ian’s back. And Marsali had a nice moment. And that’s about all I have to say about this episode that’s positive. I swear to fuck, this show hates Claire as much as the author of the books does. Where the fuck is the lead protagonist, show? Can she come back? Can she get a story line of her own that’s more than just a random scene every few episodes, please? And can Bree please be given something to fucking do that doesn’t involve Roger, Jemmy or rape? Does Fergus still even live on the Ridge?

But yeah, I guess let’s just all watch the episode twice so our dumb lady!brains can understand that Matt’s stupid silent movie gimmick was actually ~ArT~ and not, you know, a stupidly bad creative choice. Seriously, fuck that guy.

I can’t tell you how much idgaf about watching Roger teach. Also, Bree’s like his students’ age since she was in college too. So really all this bit is doing is to make me skeeved out about their age difference.

“Can you tell me why anyone would go to the trouble of burying one?” he said, condescendingly, like the doucherocket he is. Do not disrespect Young Ian like that, asshat.

“People live and die by their words.” *gestures to the beautiful shitposts on this hellsite* sure jan dot gif.

I already want to fastforward.

Would 100% rather sit through a lecture on suspension bridges than watch silent movies, tbh.

Hate the title card. Hate this whole gimmick.

Hate.

HAAAAATE.

Roger got hanged. Roger was dumb, Buck was an abusive and toxic fuckwad. But still, Roger got hanged and this is how we find out he’s alive and how he was saved?

It should be this big emotional moment. It should make me feel a thing in spite of myself. But nope! Gotta do this fucking silent movie thing. Which is hilariously terrible. And I laughed at it the whole time. In a mean and judgey fashion. What a craptastic creative choice. Whoever’s idea that was is a fucking idiot. *stares at a certain pompous af showrunner*

Ok but for real though, does LJG just like live in North Carolina now? Why is he always around, besides, you know, so we don’t forget he’s a character who exists.

For real though, he lives in Virginia and gets more screen time than fucking Fergus and Marsali who live fucking next door.

At least writing this recap is gonnna be quick and easy since they waste so much time re-showing the stupid silent movie footage.

Yes, I know, they’re trying to show Roger’s PTSD. Which involves flashbacks. And gradually turn it to color once he’s like come to terms with what happened and starts to move forward. But the execution is so bad that the whole arc is wasted because it’s just so poorly done.

Oh hey! A Claire and Bree scene! I love those. Except oh wait, it aggressively fails the Bechdel Test.

I JUST WANT THE FUCKING WOMEN ON THIS SHOW TO HAVE SOMETHING TO DO THAT’S COMPLETELY FUCKING SEPARATE FROM THE MEN. ARGH.

Jocasta singing at Murtz’s cairn is a reminder that everyone should check out MDK’s music.

And her wearing the necklace Murtz gave her makes the existence of show!Duncan even dumber. Like oh hey, new husband, don’t mind me, just mourning my dead boyfriend and wearing his jewelry. But it’s totally normal since my niece-in-law still wears her abusive ex-husband’s ring.

Sorry, show!Duncan, but a more pointless character was never included. Show!Duncan wins the prize for most BeCaUsE tHe BoOk dumbassery.

Repeatedly showing what’s basically a snuff film is...a choice.

LJG has no sense of personal space when it comes to the Frasers. And it’s fucking creepy.

Oh look, another scene where all Claire gets to do is comfort someone about a man.

*BANGS FIST ON TABLE* GIVE CLAIRE BEAUCHAMP THE STORY LINES SHE DESERVES.

Jemmy aged like 3 years in the 3 month time jump.

Ok, I totally get why Roger hadn’t spoken yet. But once he did, the seal was broken. Not talking after he yelled to stop Jemmy, even a little bit, is just a dick move. Not that he’d be magically better. But he like refuses to even take baby steps.

CAN WE PLEASE GET THROUGH AN EPISODE WITHOUT A MUSICAL INTERLUDE. I FUCKING HATE THE CLEMENTINE SONG.

GRANNIE CLAIRE AND GRANDA JAMIE ARE MY FAVE.

OMFG AN ARROW. THAT CLEARLY MEANS...YOUNG IANNNNN!!!!!

So glad he’s back. So fucking glad. Yes, it means one more character to dilute how much time we can spend with any given person, but it’s a character that I like so hopefully he takes away from some of the time given to ones I don’t like?

Aaand Roger can’t even bring himself to try to talk to the guy who gave himself up in his place. Fuck Roger.

Claire does a better job at first than Jamie at picking up the vibes Young Ian is putting off, but like, for two people who are supposed to be emotionally intelligence, neither of them do a good job at first of really *seeing* Ian.

John Bell is really good in this episode.

Omfg Marsali has tarot cards. She’s like leaning full on into being the white witch’s apprentice and I fucking love her so much.

Also, the Hanged Man card is representative of self-sacrifice and martyrdom rather than like being actually hanged as a punishment. But whatevs.

Ok I think the reason Jenny yelling at Jamie to snap out of it in S3 bugged me where this scene with Bree yelling at Roger doesn’t is because sibling dynamic is completely different than spouses where both of them have gone through something unimaginable.

That he can’t even say anything here. Or give her any kind of sign that he’s still in there is a dick move. He *can* speak. He knows that now. So does everyone else. He’s actively choosing not to. Even to say that he just needs more time to work through his shit. No one’s asking him to be a chatterbox and totally back to normal.

Young Ian just sitting there while everyone else does grace is literally me at every family holiday.

Oh look, a wild Fergus appeared!

Ok, I never got the surveying thing. Wouldn’t the land already be registered? Since they were given the paperwork and shit for it from the governor? I know there was some bit about it in the book about keeping it after the Revolution but like, who the fuck else are they registering it with that would make a difference? The gov’t is still the English gov’t?

“But there are things you keep hidden from others. You and Claire both.” Ok, can he please be talking about time travel? I mean, I know he’s talking about his wife and their miscarriages, but I just want someone else to know about time travel already please and thank you.

HOW THE FUCK IS MARSALI STILL PREGNANT?! SHE’S BEEN PREGNANT FOR LIKE A FUCKTON OF TIME.

Fuck yeah not-Catholic-anymore-Ian. No grace, talking about the creator in a way that isn’t explicitly the christian god. Good job, kid.

My parents called me to say happy easter and I had to be like, uh, you remember that I don’t celebrate that, right?

Happy Zombie!Jeebus Appreciation Day to all the still christian people. And happy chance to have fun with burner zoom accounts named Elijiah to the jewish folks.

Jokes aside, the scene with Young Ian and Marsali was really nice and Marsali remains a fucking saint. It’s nice that Young Ian has someone who like actually gets what it’s like to find a home in a group of strangers.

Oh Claire, think more highly of your assistant. Also, what a clunky fucking way to be like oh hey, one of the emo!bros is gonna try to off themselves.

Ok but with the paper airplane now too, can we please show Young Ian finding out about time travel? Please?

Ok, but Claire automatically jumping to Roger wanting to off himself with her herbs... It’s making me judge both of them a little that neither picked up on just how clearly Young Ian was suffering. Like come the fuck on, y’all. It wasn’t subtle.

Also, can we please have more Adso?

SOMEONE GIVE YOUNG IAN A HUG! NO, NOT YOU, ROGER! SOMEONE GOOD!

Yada yada yes they both have been through something shitty and call me a biased asshole, but I can’t bring myself to feel anything about Roger and I feel all the things about Young Ian.

So Roger won’t talk when his wife begs, but he’ll talk when someone calls him on his bullshit. Cool. Cool cool cool. Nice dude.

NO ONE WAS ASKING FOR THE OLD ROGER, YOU TWATWAFFLE. THEY WERE ASKING FOR *A* ROGER. INSTEAD OF A ZOMBIE.

Again, there’s more to that tarot card than a literal hanged man, but whatever, show.

Oh thank fuck the episode is finally over. Expectations are back down in the gutter for the rest of the season. Please pleasantly surprise me, show, but I will not make the mistake again of thinking you’re actually gonna be consistently good again.