#unromancable bracket

[undatablebracket]

OUTDATED POST

Last updated 8/18/23, please check the bracket posts for the most up-to-date competitor list.

Sorted alphabetically by game for easy searching.

These are (almost) all of the bracket participants! There are a few who are still up in the air. Please do not get upset with me if your blorbo did not qualify; I did my best to research each game I was unfamiliar with. The most common reason for a character to be disqualified was being from a game without any romance at all.

Note that some of these may be removed, as my attempts at research may not have been sufficient.

Madoka Aoyagi from Aokana Four Rhythms Across the Blue

Reiko Satou from Aokana Four Rhythms Across the Blue

Nahara from The Arcana

Nazali from The Arcana

Nasmira from The Arcana

Natiqa from The Arcana

Brasidas from Assassin's Creed: Odyssey

Soma Jarlskona from Assassin's Creed: Valhalla

Alfira from Baldur's Gate 3

Volo from Baldur's Gate 3

Mallory from Black Closet

oniontheif from Blooming Panic: Full Bloom Edition

Mossie from Cattails

Guinevere from Code: Realize

Kotoho Sakuragawa from collar x malice

Antonio from Coral Island

Helene Leventis from Crown and the Flame - Choices (mobile app)

Owen Herriot from Cupid Parasite

Viktor Vector from Cyberpunk 2077

Johnny Silverhand from Cyberpunk 2077

Goro Takemura from Cyberpunk 2077

Mayor Mingus from Dialtown

Jerry from Dialtown

Pierre from Dialtown

Monika from Doki Doki Literature Club

The Arishok from Dragon Age 2

Varric Tethras from Dragon Age 2

Avaline Vallen from Dragon Age 2

Vivienne de Fer from Dragon Age Inquisition

Cole from Dragon Age Inquisiton

Scout Lace Harding from Dragon Age: Inquisition

Cremisius "Krem" Aclassi from Dragon Age: Inquisition

Sten from Dragon Age: Origins

Quizzmaster Quinn from Dream Daddy

Morgott the Grace-Given from Elden Ring

Matthew Gursky from Emily is Away

Magnolia from Fallout 4

Nick Valentine from Fallout 4

Phila from Fire Emblem Awakening

The Gatekeeper from Fire Emblem: Three Houses

Hypnos from Hades

Orpheus and Eurydice from Hades

Chaos from Hades

Charon from Hades

Sisyphus from Hades

Alecto from Hades

Azami Koshiba from Hatoful Boyfriend

Blanc Lapin from Ikemen Revolution

Lyla Park from Life is Strange 2

Kyousuke Natsume from Little Busters!

Javik from Mass Effect

Urdnot Wrex from Mass Effect

Zaeed Massani from Mass Effect

Mordin Solus from Mass Effect 2 & 3

The Illusive Man from Mass Effect 2 + 3

Samara from Mass Effect 2, Mass Effect 3

Evfra de Tershaav from Mass Effect Andromeda

Zevin Raeka from Mass Effect Andromeda

Jeff "Joker" Moreau from Mass Effect trilogy

Moss Mann from Monster camp

Gerard from Monster Camp and Monster Roadtrip

Tate from Monster Prom

Sadie from Monster Prom 3: Road Trip and Monster Prom 2: Camp

Jerry the Murderer from Monster Prom series

Mali from My Time at Portia

Jaehee Kang from Mystic Messenger

Vanderwood from Mystic Messenger

Shinbi from Nameless (the one thing you must recall)

Soi from Nameless (the one thing you must recall)

Thirteen from Obey Me! One Master to Rule Them All

Aurora Emery from Open Heart - Choices

Jeremy King from Our Life: Beginning & Always

Miranda from Our Life: Beginnings & Always

Terry from Our Life: Beginnings & Always

Rio Iwasaki from Persona 3 Portable

Junpei Iori from Persona 3 Portable

Yosuke Hanamura from Persona 4

Kanji Tatsumi from Persona 4

Goro Akechi from Persona 5

Yusuke Kitagawa from Persona 5

Ryūji Sakamoto from Persona 5

Eothas from Pillars of Eternity II: Deadfire

Grim from Romancelvania

Gaius from Rune Factory 3

Illuminata from Rune Factory 4

Porcoline Tulle De Saint-Coquille from rune factory 4

Ventuswill from Rune Factory 4

Lin Fa from Rune Factory 4

Volkanon from Rune Factory 4

Terry from Rune Factory 5

Malix from Seduce Me the Otome

Halek Prince from Shepherds of Haven

Bao-Dur from Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords

Clint from Stardew ValleyGus from Stardew Valley

Jodi from Stardew Valley

Kent from Stardew Valley

Krobus from Stardew Valley

Linus from Stardew Valley

Marnie from Stardew Valley

Mayor Lewis from Stardew Valley

Sandy from Stardew Valley

Robin from Stardew Valley

The Wizard (aka. M. Rasmodius) from Stardew Valley

Clemens from Story of Seasons Pioneers of Olive Town

Jacopo from Story of Seasons Pioneers of Olive Town

Karina from Story of Seasons Pioneers of Olive Town

Flora from Story of Seasons: A Wonderful Life

Lars from Story of Seasons Pioneers of Olive Town

Brynjolf from The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Cicero from The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Erandur from The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Faendal from The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Hadvar from The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

J'zargo from The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Miraak from The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Seranna from The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Teldryn Sero from The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Ondolemar from The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Olivia Vanderwall Nevrakis from The Royal Romance - Choices

Iorveth from The Witcher 2

Vernon Roche from The Witcher 2

Julian Alfred Pankratz (Dandelion/Jaskier) from The Witcher 3

Emiel Regis Rohellec Terzieff-Godefroy from The Witcher 3

Karen Hanatsubaki from Tokimeki Memorial Girl's Side 3

Arihiko Inui from Tsukihime

Yumizuka Satsuki from Tsukihime

Alicia Rosales from XOXO Droplets

[kirkwall-age]

the option to romance emmrich is so fascinating to me

not once in my life was i ever attracted to vincent price and to model his face after him was sure a choice™

but also this blog is brought to you by someone whose list of unromanceable bioware npcs i lusted after includes:

Ammon Jerro (a warlock war criminal of unspecified age who has a granddaughter who is supposed to be the same age bracket as player character thanks)

Sagacious Zu (at least 20 years older than player character iirc)

Loghan Mac Tir (51 going on 52 in origins, will be 74 in The Veilguard if alive, i make no apologies, if Catherine Zeta-Jones can pull it off, so can my Warden)

Zaeed Massani (#WhyYouShouldNeverShipSomethingAsAJoke)

Armando-Owen Bailey (coincidentally voiced by Michael Hogan who played Saul Tigh in BSG who i also considered very fuckable)

i am FOR SURE among the target audience here -- but for a game to actually give me PERMISSION and ENCOURAGE me?

suddenly i'm quite at a loss 👀👀👀 suddenly i'm so shy

[skyrim-said-that]

Skyrim unromanceable husband ELIMINATION ROUND

thats right, i finally am doing a poll. ive decided that im going to take my fucked up skyrim husband list and put them all in a bracket to decide on the ultimate husband. after which i will be unpinning the list. the matchups will be as follows:

Group #1

competitor #1:Rune

competitor #2:Kharjo

Group #2

competitor #1:Brunwulf Free-Winter

competitor #2:Jon Battle-Born

Group #3

competitor #1:Veezara

competitor #2:Ondolemar

Group #4

competitor #1:Glover Mallory

competitor #2:Dremora

Group #5

competitor #1:Valdr

competitor #2:Gwilin

Group #6

competitor #1:Ancano

competitor #2:Celann

Group #7

competitor #1:Borkul the Beast

competitor #2:Miraak

Group #8

competitor #1:Faendal

competitor #2:Captain aldis

Group #9

competitor #1:Erandur

competitor #2:Urag Gro-Shab

Group #10

competitor #1:legate fasendil

competitor #2:Ralof

Group #11

competitor #1:Hadvar

competitor #2:Brynjolf

Group #12

competitor #1:Nazir

competitor #2:Neloth

Group #13

competitor #1:Malacath

competitor #2:Shadr

Group #14

competitor #1:Neetrenaza

competitor #2:Arnbjorn

Group #15

competitor #1:Paarthurnax

competitor #2:Savos Aren

Group #16

competitor #1:Ungrien

competitor #2:J’zargo

Group #17

competitor #1:Durnehviir

competitor #2:Kodlak Whitemae

Group #18

competitor #1:Sanguine

competitor #2:Valindor

May the best fake dream husband win

(teldryn was removed bc he won sexyman so it felt fair and also i had an uneven number) (also remember YOU PEOPLE chose all this. it was a COMMUNITY list)

[undatablebracket]

One of the most submitted Stardew Valley characters is Robin the carpenter. I love Robin and she's an incredibly popular character!

However, I've often seen people wanting to marry her and have her ditch her husband, Demetrius. Unfortunately, sometimes this goes hand-in-hand with racism towards Demetrius, one of the only black characters in the game. That is not to say that wanting to romance Robin is racist, not at all, and maybe I've just spent too much time on r/stardewvalley, but it does make me wary of including her in the bracket for fear of people being incredibly unpleasant in the notes.

So, here are a few solutions I've come up with:

[undatablebracket]

Hey what about characters you can only romance as one gender. Like Claude von Riegan from fire emblem?

Ultimately, I've decided against this being part of the bracket! I do think that a bracket for characters that we wish could be romanceable as a same-gendered protagonist is a great idea, but I wanted to specifically focus on unromanceable characters in this one.

(Also I love Claude and he's bi in my heart <3)

[undatablebracket]

FAQ/About

last updated 8/2/2023

Who are you?

I'd prefer to stay anonymous for now, but you can call me bracket-wrangler! I'm a writer/game dev with a love of romance stories and social systems in games. I've been on tumblr for over a decade. My pronouns are she/her, but I'm fine if people use they for me.

Who is your icon?

Tomoda, from the fictional video game Girls Princess 3 featured in Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun. If you've never heard of him I highly recommend watching this scene.

What's the schedule for the bracket?

At the time of writing, the submission period is planned to be from August 3rd to August 17th. I may extend this if I don't get enough variety in submissions. There will probably be a short gap between the submission period and when the polls begin, to get everything set up and seed the bracket.

I'm getting married (!!!????) at the start of September, so there will be at least a week vacation around that time. Have I chosen a terrible time to run this bracket? Most definitely.

I'm undecided on how long the polls will run for. The semifinals/finals will definitely run for a full week.

Is X character eligible to compete?

Maybe! Send me an ask if you're uncertain, or just submit and I'll remove if they aren't. Please just read the rules first.

How do you pick which characters get in/How many submissions does a character need to be confirmed for the bracket?

There is no amount of submissions that confirms a character for the bracket, but if I get more than three (and they fit the rules) it's pretty much guaranteed. Ultimately, it'll depend on how many submissions I get! Additionally, if I get a TON of submissions from the same game/series, I may trim out the least popular ones, so we don't accidentally have the Unromanceable Stardew NPC Bracket, for example.

Can I submit a character who is romanceable but only by a certain gender?

No. That's not what this tournament is about. If I run a sequel poll, however, this is probably what the subject would be! Specifically for characters who are straight romance options but we wish were available to more genders. That's not guaranteed, though, so if you want to run that bracket concept go for it.

What counts as a "contemporary real person"?

Basically, if someone is real and has been alive within the past 50 years I don't really want them in the bracket. This includes characters that are based on a real person, such as MCYT RP personas.