#w​hat a nerd

[bottlecapjo-spooky]

Fellas is it gay to play chess (with a chess peice based after your "rival")?

[solcarow]

.

[dearlenore]

AN ‘I FEEL’ STATEMENT. / S.REID / SUMMARY - Spencer and you interrogate a suspect

PAIRING: bau!reader x spencer reid / w/c: 1.7K / ???

a/n: guess who this is based on and win a cookie

Spencer didn’t even look up when you barged into the motel room.

“Don’t say it,” he said, flipping a page in the case file.

You froze in the doorway, still halfway through pulling off your FBI jacket. “Say what?”

“That the crime scene smelled like expired deli meat and failure.”

You made a face. “Okay, rude. That’s classic FBI fieldwork ambiance.”

He looked up and smirked. “You’re predictable.”

You tossed your jacket on the chair and flopped onto the bed beside him. “You like me because I’m predictable.”

“I love you in spite of it.”

You stuck your tongue out and stole the file from his hands. “Alright, Dr. Sass, what do we know?”

“Third victim, male, 30s, found in an alley behind a gas station that sells ‘hot dogs’ that may or may not be actual meat,” Spencer replied with a snarky tone , leaning back against the headboard. “Ligature marks, same positioning as the first two. Garcia’s running facial rec now.”

You flipped through the photos. “This guy looks like my ex.”

Spencer tilted his head. “Which one? Also…You dated a guy with a neck tattoo that says Loyalty Over Everything?”

“He had a motorcycle and a soft spot for cats. It was a phase…. And the tattoo said ‘I’m a dick’ in Chinese.”

“I sincerely hope your standards have risen.”

You gave him a smug look. “Please. I’m dating a literal genius with three PhDs. I upgraded.”

He hummed. “Four soon.”

“Whatever,” you said, nudging his arm. “You’re basically the FBI’s version of a trophy husband.”

He blinked. “Are you saying I’m your trophy husband?”

“Yeah. Except instead of a yacht I got… trauma and access to crime scenes. I guess?”

Spencer rolled his eyes but couldn’t hide the smile tugging at his lips. “Romantic.”

You snickered. “That’s what they all say.”

For a while, you worked in comfortable silence, both reading over the files. The motel TV buzzed in the background, playing a rerun of some bad soap opera where the acting was worse than your last polygraph subject.

“So,” you said eventually, “you think this guy’s trying to make a point? The symmetry, the posing, the weird ‘I’m not mad, just disappointed’ energy of it all?”

Spencer looked thoughtful. “He’s definitely performing. But it’s subtle. Less drama, more… statement.”

“Like a TED Talk, but make it murder.”

“Exactly.”

You laughed. “I fucking hate Ted talks, people who talk for hours like that are so annoying.”

He glanced sideways at you. “Speak for yourself. I’m adorable.”

“You’re adorable in a ‘my girlfriend wants to kick my ass daily’ kind of way.”

“To be fair, you want to kick everyone’s ass. Some more sensually than others.”

“HEY! Me and Emily had a deal. Have you seen— actually don’t answer that I’d have to kill you.”

“I find you so oddly attractive.” He said, looking a bit perplexed by his own taste.

You bumped his shoulder gently. “You always say that like you’re surprised.”

Spencer gave you a soft look, the kind he saved for when the world got too heavy. “I’m not. You’re annoying and incredible.”

You grinned. “Aw. You’re such a sap when we’re surrounded by homicide photos. You should be more mindful of the dead,”

“Don’t ruin it.”

He leaned in to kiss you, brief and warm. Then he stole the case file back like the nerd he was.

“Fine,” you said, standing up and stretching. “I’ll go see if Morgan found anything useful, or if he’s just flirting with the local deputy again.”

“Tell him if she has a cowboy hat, he has my blessing.”

You grabbed your jacket, pausing at the door. “If I get shot, tell the team I died being hotter than all of them.”

Spencer looked up with a totally deadpan expression and whistled. “That goes without saying.”

You blew him a kiss and shut the door behind you, already drafting what you’d say to Morgan when you saw him.

Eventually , you’d caught the guy.

The suspect sat cuffed to the table, arms crossed, expression somewhere between cocky and confused. He’d asked for a lawyer three times. The team knew it. So did you. But now he was suddenly cooperative—and you had a feeling that had less to do with his conscience and more to do with the fact that Morgan had promised he’d be “dealing with Dr. Reid next.”

What he didn’t know?

He was getting both of you.

You stepped into the interrogation room, Spencer behind you, both of you in sync like you were about to perform a synchronized FBI ballet—but with more psychological warfare.

Outside the one-way glass, Morgan muttered, “This’ll be interesting.”

Inside the room, you dropped into the chair across from the suspect and offered a sugary smile.

“Hi, Marcus. Love the scowl. Very tough guy who definitely has never cried in a 90s Honda civic. Or was it a Toyota?”

Spencer sat beside you, calm and collected, opening the file in front of him like he was about to politely destroy a man’s entire worldview.

Marcus raised an eyebrow. “So they sent the nerd and the girlfriend?”

You smiled wider. “Aw. You think I’m just the girlfriend. That’s cute.”

Spencer didn’t look up. “Statistically, assuming a woman is less competent in a professional setting increases the likelihood of public humiliation by seventy-three percent. But don’t worry, we’ll keep it between us.”

“For real? You just know that?” The suspect hissed.

“No asshole, I made it up…” Spencer mumbled, still looking at the file and reading it closely.

You slid the photo across the table—victim number two. “Let’s talk about this guy. You were seen outside his apartment the night he was killed. Coincidence, or did ya get the first time murder jitters?”

“I didn’t kill anyone.”

Spencer’s voice was deceptively light. “We didn’t say you did. You said that. Interesting.”

You leaned in, resting your chin on your hand. “Also interesting? That your fingerprints were on the door handle, and the doormat has your boot tread on it. You’re either involved or you’re just deeply nosy.”

Marcus shrugged. “Maybe I was there. Doesn’t mean anything.”

“Oh, honey,” you said, voice syrupy-sweet. “People like you never do things for no reason. You can’t even microwave instant soup without making it about your masculinity.”

Spencer coughed like he was covering a laugh.

“Also if you’re microwaving soup shame on you. Put it in a damn pot on the stove like the rest of us.” You groaned, knowing damn well you did it yesterday.

“Look,” Marcus said, sitting up straighter. “I don’t have to say anything to you.”

You looked around the room , faux confusion on your face. He literally asked for you?

Spencer tapped the table twice. “Totally fair. You’re exercising your rights. But just to clarify, you’re not denying you were there. So if we subpoena your phone, we’re not going to be shocked by GPS data, right?”

You leaned toward Spencer and whispered loudly, “Is this the part where we pretend we don’t already have that?”

He nodded seriously. “Yes, for dramatic effect.”

Marcus shifted. “You’re bluffing.”

“Buddy,” you said, leaning back. “The FBI does two things really well: crush dreams and ruin lives. And my boyfriend here’s got a PhD in both.”

Spencer added, “Technically only one, but I did minor in destroying egos.”

“Oh for real? That’s fine I have a masters in being better than most people and humbling men. I think that’ll suffice.” You replied.

Outside the glass, JJ blinked. “Are they… flirting? In the middle of an interrogation?”

Hotch muttered, “I think it’s working?”

Back inside, the suspect was starting to sweat, his earlier confidence deflating like a balloon at a sad birthday party.

You pulled out another photo—this time of Marcus’s ex, who had filed a restraining order last year. You dropped it gently on the table.

Spencer’s voice was quiet. “She’s scared of you.”

“And she was like 16.”

Marcus looked like he wanted to disappear into the floor as Spencer flipped to the next page in the file.

“Her name was Emily,” he said calmly, tapping the paper. “She filed for a restraining order at sixteen. Updated it again when she turned seventeen.”

Marcus scoffed. “She was—she acted older than she was.”

You blinked. Spencer’s jaw twitched.

“Oh wow,” you said, leaning forward. “Do you have an I feel statement about that?”

Spencer didn’t miss a beat. “Yeah, like—‘I feel like I want to date children’?”

You nodded thoughtfully. “That’s the vibe I’m getting too. Really leaning into the predator energy.”

“I’m not a predator,” Marcus snapped, defensive now, angry. “You don’t know anything about me.”

Spencer arched a brow. “We literally read your search history.”

You added, “And the restraining order. And the texts. And your very creative Reddit username.”

“Subtle wasn’t your strong suit,” Spencer muttered.

You leaned back in your chair, folding your arms. “So here’s what we do know about you, Marcus: you’re insecure, violent when women say no, and very interested in people who are still in Algebra II. That about cover it?”

He opened his mouth—then shut it again.

“That’s what I thought,” you said sweetly, before glancing over at Spencer with a grin. “See? We’re so good at this.”

He smiled back. “Terrifyingly good.”

“You think this is funny?” Marcus snapped, finally rattled. “This little good cop, bad cop thing?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Good cop? You sweet summer child.”

“We’re not good cop, bad cop,” Spencer added helpfully. “We’re bad cop, worse cop.”

“I’m worse,” you chimed in. “Obviously.”

Spencer nodded. “That tracks.”

Marcus was silent, jaw tense.

You leaned in again, tone shifting. “Look. You talk to us, you get some control back. You don’t, and we throw this entire file at the prosecutor and let them tear you apart. Your call.”

Spencer added, “Statistically, cooperating suspects receive lighter sentences. Not that you seem like a man who cares about consequences, given your stunning history of rage texting and unpaid parking tickets… and dating children.”

You smiled. “Seriously, ten tickets? What are you, allergic to parallel parking?”

Marcus stared at the table, finally cracking.

“I didn’t mean to hurt him,” he muttered.

You and Spencer exchanged a glance.

“Okay,” you said, sitting back. “Now we’re getting somewhere.”

[redpill-tfs]

Pranked Ya, Bro

Max had always prided himself on his sharp wit, preppy style, and deep analytical mind. A freshman at Whitmore University, he spent most of his time buried in textbooks, debating politics in his dorm’s common area, and meticulously planning his future. He had ambitions—big ones. Maybe law school, maybe politics, something to make a difference in the world and improve people's lives. But on April Fool’s Day, all of that was about to change.

It happened as he was walking back to his dorm, his navy blazer and khakis neatly pressed, his brown loafers clicking against the pavement. Out of nowhere, something cold and wet smacked him in the back.

SPLASH!

He gasped, feeling the shock of icy water soak through his clothes. A burst of laughter erupted from behind him. Whipping around, he saw the culprit—a broad-shouldered, backward-hat-wearing frat boy from Beta Delta Omega, the most notoriously conservative fraternity on campus.

“Pranked ya, bro!” the guy hooted, tossing another water balloon up and down in his hand before running off to find his next victim.

Max scowled and shook his head, wringing out his wet sleeves as he tried to fight the tears forming in his eyes and the red flush in his cheeks in his embarrassment. “Idiots,” he muttered, hurrying inside his dorm. He needed to change before he caught a cold.

As soon as he shut the door, an odd sensation washed over him. His limbs trembled, heat coursing through his veins. He stumbled, gripping his desk for balance as his reflection in the mirror swam before his eyes.

“W-what’s happening?” he stammered. His voice cracked—deepened.

His arms bulged, muscles swelling beneath his skin, tearing through the tailored sleeves of his blazer. His legs thickened, his khakis warping into a pair of gym shorts as his loafers melted into battered white sneakers. His once-trim waist widened, his chest expanded, and a tight-fitting tank top emblazoned with an American flag stretched over his growing frame. A red baseball cap materialized on his head, the brim curling slightly upward as bold white letters appeared across the front: MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN.

Max groaned, gripping his head as if he could hold onto his old self, but the thoughts—the sharp, meticulous thoughts—blurred. Concepts like economic policy, climate change, and political philosophy turned to static in his mind, slipping away like sand through his fingers. New ideas replaced them—hazing pledges, chugging beers, pulling epic pranks, and making sure everyone knew who the real Americans were.

His reflection changed further—his face looking more rugged, his neatly trimmed brown hair growing messier, styled almost effortlessly. The scholarly look in his eyes faded, replaced by an easygoing, almost vacant confidence. He was a top dog, and everyone would know it and get out of his way.

His lips curled into a dumb smirk. “Aw, hell yeah, bro.”

He caught sight of his phone vibrating on his desk. Grabbing it, he found messages in the Beta Delta Omega group chat—somehow, he was already in it. But of course he was. Why would he be in the frat's chat? He'd rushed last semester and earned his way in.

BRODY: Yo, we got another one? 

CHAD: LOL welcome to the brotherhood, dude. 

BRODY: Get over here. We got more balloons to throw at nerds.

Mack flexed his newly thick arms before throwing on a pair of sunglasses. College wasn’t about studying and debating. Nah, bro. It was about living it up, making sure those geeky losers and sissy libs knew who really ruled the campus.

Mack gave the dorm a confused look? Why was he here and not back at the frat? He sure was mindless sometimes. Maybe he'd found some hot blonde chick to bang real quick and fill with his alpha seed. Anyway, he needed to get back. The frat needed all hands on deck for the epic prank goin on.

With a low chuckle, Mack turned off the lights and strolled out, his mind empty of everything but the thrill of the fun times ahead, both with his bros and the sorority chicks after practice.

[cosmerelists]

Cosmere Characters' Favorite Disney Movies

As sort of requested by anon. :)

Anon's request was more for favorite movies in general, but I ran a poll for something more specific, and "favorite Disney movies" won. So here is what characters' favorite Disney movies might be if they, you know, could watch Disney movies.

[WAT SPOILERS IN THE GAVINOR ENTRY ONLY]

1. Rlain: Snow White

Rlain: Personally, I just think that humans should all be named after their dominate emotion, just like those dwarves. Rlain: [Nods at Kaladin] "Stormy." Rlain: [Nods at Renarin] "Reflective." Rlain: [Nods at Lift] "Slippery." Renarin: ...Is "Slippery" an emotion? Rlain: Was "Sneezy"? Renarin: You have a point.

2. Siri: Beauty and the Best

Siri: I mean, it's just so romantic! Siri: Ending up locked inside a mysterious castle due to your dad's actions... Siri: Meeting a guy who seems like a scary beast at first... Siri: But then he turns out to just be a huge sweet nerd who likes books... Siri: Magical feasts... Susebron: Our life is a Disney movie? Siri: That's what I'm saying!

3. Gavinor: Lion King [WAT spoilers!!]

Gavinor: I don't like any movies. Gavinor: But at least the Lion King is realistic. Gavinor: First your dad dies. Gavinor: Then you grow up far away from home. Gavinor: Then you kill your uncle. Great uncle. Grandfather. Whatever. Gavinor: And I never even got a funny warthog.

4. Vivenna: Mulan

Vivenna: Girl with a sword. Vivenna: What's not to like?

5. Elhokar: The Emperor's New Groove

Elhokar: Somehow, watching that film, I thought... Elhokar: I am Kuzco. Elhokar: And Kuzco is me. Shallan: You looked WAY better in woman's clothes than he did, though. Elhokar: Too true.

6. Moash: A Bug's Life

Moash: Just saying. Moash: Quite the message in that film.

7. Vin: 101 Dalmatians

Vin: Disney moves are all so...bright and colorful that they're all pretty alien-seeming to me. Vin: At least this movie has something normal. Elend: Talking dogs? Vin: Talking dogs, yeah.

8. Syl: Little Mermaid

Syl: I mean, I literally did want to be where the people are... Syl: I wanted to see, see them dancing... Syl: Walking around on their (what do you call them?) feet... Kaladin: ...You know what feet are. Syl: Shhh, I'm doing a bit here!

9. Steris: Aladdin

Steris: I suppose I just understand that when a man appears who can take you flying, it's hard not to fall in love with him. Wax: Awww... Steris: Had I discovered that you were lying about everything, though, I would have divorced you immediately. Wax: As is only fair.

10. Tress: Princess and the Frog

Tress: I guess I just feel a kinship with Tiana! Tress: Hard work, cooking, your significant other turning into an animal... Charlie: But imagine if you were a rat too, though. Charlie: We would have been adorable. Tress: W-We could have sat in a teacup... Charlie: We could have sat in a teacup.

11. Nale: Pinnochio

Nale: I enjoy the magic world it creates. Nale: Where lying has immediate, visible consequences. Nale: And a man's conscience is a bug with a hat. Lift: ...You need help, man. Nale: How so?

12. Lift: Robin Hood

Lift: Not only is it a great message for kids about how stealing is awesome... Wyndle: [twitches] Lift: ...but I also think it's funny how everyone's an animal! Lift: Look! I drew all of us Radiants as animals too! Wyndle: ...Everyone is a crab? Lift: It's Roshar. Ain't got a lot to work with.

[lxkeee]

BEGGING FOR A LUCIFER X FEM!READER SMUT ABT HIM EATING READER OUT AFTER SEEING HIM DO THAT GESTURE AT THE LAST EP PLSSSS 🛐🛐🛐🛐 would do anything for that man omfg I'D KILL FOR HIM TO CALL ME GOOD GIRL

genre: plot with some smut ig

warnings: cunnilingus, oral (fem receiving), soft dom! Lucifer, thigh marking, praising (both receiving), pet names (love, darling, sweetheart), whiney Lucifer.

notes: I don't do porn without plot so yes... There's a little bit of plot to this 💀 it is quite long as they're not having sex but making love soo you better bet he's going to take his time with herr... This one is hella long btw.

additional notes: banners are made by cafekitsune, reader wears gloves and I can't explain what kind but the kind Child/tartaglia wears from genshin impact. Also, I don't know if this will be good as it's been a long time since I've written smut 💀

tags: @adaizel @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @thedarkitten (I can't tag you </3) @brithedemonspawn @dinawss @froggybich

“Good luck kiddo.” Lucifer said to his daughter before eventually slowly teleporting away from the hotel and back to the palace. His body manifested on the arm chair that's in his room and his shoulders sagged a bit. A heavy sigh left his lips.

“She grew up so fast but I still can't help but get worried...” he muttered underneath his breath as his eyes gazed upon the hanged picture frame of Charlie. Removing his hat from his head and placed in ton the table then his eyes slowly gazed into the framed picture that was on the table it was him and his new lover, [y/n]. He gave himself a second chance at love and he met [y/n], the only sinner that he actually likes being around with. Despite her mysterious yet charming personality, [y/n] is a nice woman, very patient and understanding. Although, there are moments his heart would yearn for his ex-wife, Lilith during his relationship with [y/n] but surprisingly [y/n] herself is very understanding, she understands that he cannot immediately and completely erase a love that lasted for so many years and with that, he is grateful for [y/n] and with that he always reassure her that he loves her and is happy with her. Though, right now, he is completely missing her as she's currently away for a week due to her status as an overlord. Despite [y/n] being an overlord, she didn't become one because of cruelty but many sinners would want to work under her as she treats her souls with care, providing a roof under their head, food, medicine, and protection as long as they follow her orders. [Y/n] didn't really specify how long she'll be gone as there are important matters to deal with but she promised that it won't take two weeks. She reassures him and vice versa.

“Oh [y/n], I've missed you.” Lucifer says to himself, shaking his head with a small toothy grin on his face that shows off his perfectly white sharp teeth. The circles of his cheeks turning a darker shade of red as he thinks about her. He sighs longingly as he squeezes a rubber duck that looks like her, the small rubber toy making a loud 'squeak' sound.

He didn't realize it as the arm chair was facing the opposite direction of his door, he didn't notice the said woman arrived awhile ago and decided to surprise him and opened the door without any sound. [Y/n] grins as she watches the man she loves plays with his rubber duck, her body leaning against the doorframe and her arms crossed over her chest.

“[y/n] come back soon, I need your insights on whether my decision of allowing Charlie a meeting with heaven was a great idea.” Lucifer whines to himself as he talks to the rubber duck version of [y/n].

This caught the woman's attention, [y/n] has met Charlie and she absolutely loved the girl. She heard that Charlie's opening a hotel that redeems sinners, she saw it on the TV and she honestly found it funny how she fought the TV host. She supports her cause but [y/n] thinks she wouldn't be joining it, not because she doesn't believe it will work but she doesn't want to leave Lucifer alone.

[y/n] let out a silent sigh as she continues to listen to her lover ramble to the rubber duck version of her, “If only you could see how motivated she is, love. I couldn't say no and I am afraid they'll crush her dreams like they crushed mine.” he says softly, his voice dull as he recalled what happened to him when he had so much hope and dreams for his people.

“I am sure Charlie would be fine, she's an amazing kid and she has an amazing father who will support her.” [y/n] says with a small smile, finally announcing her arrival. Lucifer slightly jumped from his seat from hearing her voice, turning around quickly to see his beloved leaning against the doorframe with her arms over her chest, the black suit she was wearing hugged her figure perfectly, the red tie adding a pop of color to her outfit. She looked gorgeous, she always does.

His eyes widened before a smile finally found its way back to his gorgeous face, “[y/n]! You're back!” he exclaimed, jumping out of his seat and quickly running towards her. [Y/n] chuckles as she moves away from the door, spreading her arms open for a hug—only for Lucifer to hug her and dip her, the action causing her to place her hands behind his neck for support and his actions caught her off guard when he finally kisses her.

The lovers stayed in that position, Lucifer supporting her weight as he held her waist while in the dipping position. Her hands behind his neck, playing with his light blond locks, causing the man to groan against her lips. Sharp teeth occasionally clash as they kiss, two weeks apart made them yearn for each other.

Lucifer's lips slowly moved away from her lips making [y/n] whine softly as he began to kiss the side of her lips, her jawline, and then her neck. Wet sounds of his kisses fills the room, along with [y/n]'s whimpers as she felt the devil himself began to mark her flawless neck with his hickies. Lucifer gave her a smirk before placing a gentle kiss on the newly made mark he just made on her neck.

“Welcome back, love.” he says softly, looking down at her flushed features. Admiring her as he held her in a dipping position. [Y/n] chuckles softly, her cheeks warm and red after the passionate kiss, “Oh, Lucifer... You always know how to make me swoon.” she mutters and he laughs, his laugh is like a gentle breeze that calms you down, so soft. His cheeks are turning a light shade of pink, “Well, it's a natural thing I can do when it comes to you.” he says with a chuckle before eventually helping her stand properly, making her chuckle softly.

“Aren't you romantic today?” [y/n] says with a small laugh escaping her lips, he could listen to her laugh all day and not get tired of hearing it. Lucifer smirked before softly holding her hand, bowing to place a gentle kiss on her knuckle, “I just missed you, that's all. I haven't seen you for almost two weeks.” he says before the hand that was holding her hand slowly glides across her arm, reaching her chest by her tie and then gently tugging her tie downwards so he could reach her face, “And we have a lot of catching up to do, my love.” he says with a smirk, making [y/n] blush slightly at the action and from the tone of his voice, “Indeed we do...” she replied with a suggestive tone and eventually closed her eyes as Lucifer presses his lips against hers, tugging her tie to lower her more and turn the kiss deeper. [Y/n] chuckles against the kiss, parting away from him for a few moments as a smirk finds its way to her lips, “My... Someone's eager...” [y/n] says teasingly making Lucifer blush slightly and pouted, “Don't blame me, I have truly and deeply missed you.” he says before slowly intertwining his hand with hers, pulling her towards his bed and [y/n] complied with a smirk, deciding not to tease him further. She wants him and he wants her. It's been so long since they've last touched each other. They needed this.

Lucifer gently pushed her down into his bed, [y/n] landing on the soft mattress on her back with a soft 'thud.' Lucifer followed soon after, climbing on top of her, his hand caressing her jawline while his other hand supporting his body weight. They stared at each other, eyes dilated and filled with love and adoration for each other. [Y/n] shudders a little as she feels the soft material of his gloves against her skin, her eyes looking up at him, admiring his beautiful features—the red aesthetic of his room making his light blond hair and pale skin pop, complimenting his beautiful ruby colored eyes, sharp jawline, pearly white sharp teeth, so angelic yet sinful, “You are so beautiful...” she murmurs softly and she swore his eyes dilated more before his hand moved back to her tie and gently tugged her upwards so their lips pressed against one another once more.

Mouths moved against each other, soft whimpers leaving their lips as they tried to match the other's pace. Lucifer groans softly as he feels her fingers combed through his slicked back hair, making it messy but he doesn't mind. He can taste the cherry flavor of her lipstick as he kisses her, the taste of her making his mind swirl, “Fuck... I can't get enough of you...” he groans softly as he gently bites her lower lip, asking for permission in which she obliges, parting her lips slightly to allow him to slip his tongue inside.

[y/n] moans softly, fueling his passion for her. Sharp teeth clash against each other as they lose themselves in the moment. [Y/n]'s hand slowly found its way to his, intertwining her hand with his own. Lucifer squeezes her hand as he continues to kiss her, savoring the sensation of her lips against his and his tongue exploring her mouth.

Her other hand is exploring his body, caressing his chest through his suit, making him shudder slightly. Lucifer's kisses once more moved away from her lips, moving downwards from her jawline to her neck, placing a gentle kiss on the previous hickey he made awhile ago before gently pulling her arm that had her hand that he was squeezing, bringing her hand to his lips and gently bit the end of her gloves with his teeth to pull her glove down. [Y/n] gulped from the action, her body heating up from how attractive he is. Fuck... Why is he so hot?

“You're such a tease...” she mutters softly with a pout making him laugh as he holds her other arm and does the same thing to her other glove, biting it down to remove it before throwing the gloves somewhere out of the bed, “But you love it, don't you?” he asked teasingly with a smirk and she sighs softly with a smile, “I do, I really do.”

“You better say those exact words to me one day but that time, it better be when I'm kneeling down in one knee.” he says teasingly making the girl blush and groan softly and nodded, “that's my girl... Now, how about we take these off as it is in the way hmm?” he asked as his finger traced her chest, running across her suit, a silent question for her consent and she nodded.

Lucifer began to loosen her tie, throwing the red fabric across the room before he began to unbutton her top. Revealing her lacy black bra underneath, fitting her breasts perfectly. Ah fuck, she's so gorgeous...

Removing the black fabric off her figure, finally showing off her torso. [Y/n] did the same to his suit, helping her remove his clothes as he could feel the heat of his skin beginning to heat up more.

Slowly and surely, one by one their clothes were removed. Leaving them naked for each other's eyes. Both Lucifer and [y/n] had to avoid each other's eyes as they felt shy, it has been awhile since they've done something so intimate.

[y/n] slowly moved her eyes back on him, admiring Lucifer's bare figure—hair messy, cheeks red, eyes shy and avoiding, beautifully handsome face and body—clearly sculpted by God. She allowed her hand to graze at his arm up to his jawline, holding his chin gently and then slowly tilt his head back so he's now once more looking at her.

Lucifer's breath hitched as his eyes finally landed on her, [y/n] looked so beautiful—her hair sprawled behind her, her [h/c] complimenting her gorgeous face, half-lidded [e/c] eyes and dilated pupils looking at him with so much need and adoration, plump lips that he oh so wanted to desperately kiss all the time, her body most especially... He just wants to leave kisses all over it.

“You're so beautiful, I can't believe you're mine.” Lucifer whispers softly with his cheeks flushed while he was above her, his arms supporting his weight. [Y/n] blushed and chuckled, “You tell me that everyday, love.” [y/n] says with a small smile and Lucifer can only chuckle, “It's because I want to,” he says with a small smile, pausing a bit, “I want to remind you everyday, that my love and adoration for you will never change and I am grateful that I've met you.” he says softly, his voice gentle and vulnerable as he expresses his love for her, his hand caressing her cheek. [Y/n]'s blush turned into a deeper shade of red as she listened to his confession, a small and flustered smile on her face as she intertwined her hand with his once more, “With that, I am eternally grateful that you chose me, for loving me and with that I would love you till the end of time.” she says softly, Lucifer can only smile—the same dorky smile you always loved seeing on his face.

Lucifer leans down so he can kiss her again, [y/n] instinctively snaking her as arms behind his neck—pulling him deeper into the kiss. Their kiss was needy, fiery, passionate yet gentle, soft moans and whimpers escaping past their lips. I love you's being muttered occasionally between them and against each other's soft lips. Occasionally, Lucifer would let out a small whine as [y/n] began to stroke his cock while they were kissing, his whines were music to her ears, “Y-yes... That feels amazing...” he whimpered softly against her lips, his hips thrusting against her hand for more friction. She could feel how hard he is for her, she can feel the veins running from base to the tip, she can feel the precum staining her hands.

Lucifer's kisses once more slowly went down—to her jawline, neck, collarbone and finally on her chest. He looked up at her, his eyes needy and dark with desire and love for her before he finally took one nipple into his mouth, suckling and swirling his long tongue around the sensitive nub while his other hand played with her other breast.

Whimpers and whines left [y/n]'s lips as her hand moves away from his cock and squeezes the pillows, Lucifer really knows how to pleasure her, her other hand running through his hair and massaging his scalp while he moves to her other breast.

“Luci... Mhmm... That feels so good...” she softly moans out and Lucifer feels a sense of pride from hearing that, his mouth continues to suckle on her left breast before eventually releasing it with a small 'pop.'

Lucifer's eyes went back to gaze on her face—disheveled, flustered, and cute.

“So utterly beautiful...” he murmured before moving his body downwards as he finally reached her legs, “Spread your legs for me, love.” he asked with a small teasing smirk, enjoying the flustered look on her face. [Y/n] obediently followed and shyly spreads her legs for him, avoiding his gaze.

Lucifer smirked as [y/n] spread her legs for him, his eyes turning into slits as he saw how turned on she was and how much she needed him, “Good girl.” he praises, his voice teasing, “Only for you.” [y/n] replies with a smirk of her own.

“You better be...” Lucifer says with a chuckle as he begins to kiss her thighs, leaving hickies while his hands squeeze the softness of her flesh, his lips slowly going up and dangerously near her womanhood. Looking up at her, his eyes were soft but filled with want, “May I?” he asked and [y/n] looked at him shyly and nodded.

Lucifer's smile widens before he eventually allows his head to dip into her most intimate part. His mouth began to suckle on pussy, moans escaping both of their lips.

Lucifer felt hungry and he can only satisfy this hunger with her. He suckled greedily like a man dying of thirst. His tongue lapped along her folds, circling her clit that invokes loud moans from her. He misses this, he misses her so much.

[y/n]'s eyes rolled back and her back arching from the pleasure, toes curling, whimpers escaping her lips. She can feel the texture of his tongue against her most intimate part, a gasp left her lips as she felt him slip a finger inside, his long and slender finger thrusting in and out while his mouth worked wonders along with it.

“So utterly wet and so good for me, sweetheart,” Lucifer praises as he continues to eat her out before finally adding a second finger inside her, he could feel how easily his fingers slide in and out—a perfect manifestation of how much she wants him, he enjoys how she can no longer form coherent words aside from moans she let out. He is incredibly hard but this isn't about him but this is about her pleasure, she always comes first after all.

“You are so good to me... I love you...” [y/n] whimpered softly making him chuckle, “I love you too, darling.” he murmurs with a small smile, his tongue flicking through her hidden areas of her intimate area while his fingers continue to thrust in and out. Skins heating up from the passion.

Lucifer can tell whenever she's close, from the obvious sign of how her toes curl, how high pitched her moans are becoming, how hard she is gripping his hair and how far her eyes rolled back at the back of her head.

“Is my love gonna cum?” he asked teasingly making his girl whimper, “Yes...!” she replied and he chuckled as he increased the pace of his fingers and tongue, “Be a good girl for me and cum for me, [y/n]” Lucifer says and that was enough for the knot in her stomach to break, “I'm gonna cu—” her voice was cut off as she let out a loud whine.

Lucifer greedily lapped at her essence, like a nectar from the gods that he cannot get enough of. Small whimpers leaving [y/n]'s lips as she felt so sensitive.

He eventually removed his lips from her intimate area and along with his fingers, he looked up at her disheveled, breathless and flushed but beautiful face. Lucifer smiled, “Are you okay...?” he asked, his voice was gentle and worried and [y/n] nodded, “More than okay, my love.” she replied with a small smile, “We can stop here if you want? I don't want to force you or anything...” he says and [y/n] shakes her head, their love was both giving and receiving afterall, “I can still go on and besides, I know you need help with that.” she says with a smirk as her eyes landed on his painfully erect cock that was begging for her and he blushed, “Now, be a good boy and let me take care of you this time.”

[outofconcheol]

not yet (ksm x gn!Reader)

pairing: Seungmin x reader

genres/au/rating: angst, fluff, friends (idiots) to lovers, pg

summary: "Not yet" was a phrase that came to define Seungmin's life for the longest time. Until you came along, and changed everything.

warnings: swearing, kind of fake dating, emotionally stunted Seungmin, kissing, a smol but significant fight, Minho being a menace but also the voice of reason

word count: 2.8k

a/n: this was something cute I wrote on a whim and tell me why my whole heart is fluttering (probably bc Seungmin is bias wrecking me a lot lately). This is me being a space and time nerd on main, but I imagine Seungmin as lowkey a math nerd in this too. it'll make sense when you read! i hope you enjoy!

To Kim Seungmin time was always infinite, the universe stretching out like a vast abyss that he sought to understand. He’d grumble when his mother stretched the too-tight party hat around his ears on every birthday growing up. Because what was the point, when every day was a birthday for someone or something?

An infinite series of moments made way for an infinite number of chances, and Seungmin became fearless. Fearless because there was no way he could mess up at life, not when there would always be another chance to try again later.

And so, Seungmin’s favourite phrase, whenever his mother asked him to do anything, was “not yet.”

It was a phrase that came to define his life for the longest time. Until you came along, and changed everything.

“Seungminnie, don’t you ever get tired of showing up to dinner alone?” his mother laments over the yukgaejang, while Seungmin stares blankly at her, unable to comprehend her question. What did she mean, alone? The whole point of family dinners was so he wouldn’t have to resort to eating ramen in the dim light of his own apartment, or risk begging Minho for home-cooked food, fearing the smirk on his older roommate’s face.

As if on cue, the doorbell sounds, and Seungmin is the first one up, spoon clattering on the table and stew abandoned. Within a few strides, he’s swinging the door open, only to be met with burning in his nose and scratching in his throat, the tell-tale signs of a sneeze making themselves known.

Your face peeks out from behind the flowers, flustered and eyes growing wide with concern.

“Damn it, I thought you wouldn’t be allergic to these ones,” you whine, and Seungmin sniffles, ushering you inside. “Sometimes I think you’re faking it, Minnie.”

“___!” his mother runs to the door at the sound of your voice, nearly smushing the bouquet as she wraps you in the biggest hug. “We haven’t seen you in so long, I made extra yukgaejang, come!”

And as she leads you by the hand into the dining room, Seungmin hangs back, a smug smile on his face. The universe had his back, once again.

The dinner table conversation turns lively once again, his parents and sister pestering you with updates about your life in the city, like you and Seungmin aren’t still attached at the hip like you were when you were children.

There’s a lull in the conversation, silence falling over the table with only the clanging of utensils to fill the void, broken only by a heavy sigh. Seungmin knows what’s coming next, and so do you, judging by the way you sink into your seat.

“I always thought the two of you would end up together,” his mother blurts out, tears forming in her eyes.

You pat her on the back, dancing around her confession, telling her you’ll always be ready to show up uninvited to dinner as long as there’s an extra bowl of yukgaejang waiting, and all Seungmin can do is stare into his bowl.

No matter how many times he reminded her that you were just friends, that the realistic probability of you and Seungmin dating moved closer and closer to zero the older you grew, she stubbornly refused to give up hope. 

She’d throw it back in his face, repeating his favourite phrase. “Not yet.”

And Seungmin couldn’t tell her maybe some things were just meant to never come to life. 

The two of you walk back towards your apartments in silence, your shadows dancing on the sidewalk, creating a far livelier scene than the comfortable silence that exists between you.

Seungmin doesn’t notice you’ve fallen behind until he’s at least ten paces ahead of you, turning back to see your lonely figure under a streetlight, staring up at the stars. He resists the normal impulse in his brain to leave you behind, knowing you’ll catch up, and instead backtracks, stopping to stand next you.

“Do you really think it’d be so bad?” you ask the darkness, not turning to meet Seungmin’s eyes. “If we were to actually date?”

Seungmin’s mind is sent reeling at your confession, the neat box in which he’d compartmentalized your relationship suddenly bursting open, exploding with chaos.

“We’re getting older, Minnie,” you ponder. “Don’t you ever feel like you’re running out of time?”

Seungmin’s face darkens, and he knows he can’t answer the question without hurting your feelings. Because to him, time was never something he’d run out of. If he fucked something up, there’d always be something new, something better waiting for him on the horizon.

“You shouldn’t think like this, ____,” he breathes out. “You just haven’t found the right person yet.”

The two of you are sitting on the sidewalk now, long legs hanging off the curb. Seungmin instinctively pulls you into his side, making sure your body is shielded from any stray passerby that happen to be inhabiting the sidewalk or the wild people in the bike lane. 

“It’s always yet, Seungmin, but what about now? What are we doing with our lives?”

Seungmin’s never thought about now. He’s thought about the past, like the time he showed up to your house on your 16th birthday, a copy of your favourite novel clutched behind his back. Only to go ungifted when you’d barreled into his arms, raving over the used car your parents had gotten. He’d thought a lot about the future, the two of you going on to end up with faceless partners, settling down in houses whose walls he couldn’t picture, kids whose names he hadn’t thought out, maybe a dog or a cat. 

But he never stopped to think about the present, and looking into your eyes, he remembers exactly why. It terrified him, the faint glistening of tears, the way your breathing sped up, your fists clenching and unclenching. And he’d never had good advice to give, just always ranting on about how “tomorrow is a new day.”

Seungmin bows his head, long strands of hair falling into his face, hopes you don’t see the way his own lip quivers when he thinks about right now, the two of you sitting on a city sidewalk, together but still lonely.

“Okay,” he manages to choke out, and your head whips around in shock.

“What do you mean, okay?” you sniffle, and Seungmin pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Let’s do it. Let’s try dating.”

He feels your body go still next to him, arm going limp when you suddenly decide to let go, hoisting yourself up.

“Minnie, I was just kidding when I said that. You don’t have to date me if you don’t want to.”

“Who said I didn’t want to? I mean try, at least?” Seungmin rises up to his feet, heart thundering at the blank look on your face. “If we try and it doesn’t work, there’s always another chance, right?”

Your face twists in a strange expression, so brief Seungmin could have almost imagined it, before you let out a dazzling smile, one Seungmin thinks rivals even the brightest star he sees in the sky tonight.

“Right.”

“You’re actually fucking insane,” Minho mumbles through a mouth stuffed full with dumplings, stealing the container away when Seungmin reaches over with his chopsticks. “I shouldn’t be offering you food, I should be signing you up for therapy.

“Everybody always wants ____ and I to end up together,” Seungmin grumbles, snatching a dumpling anyway, much to Minho’s dismay. “Now that we actually decide to date, it’s suddenly a problem?”

“Dating isn’t some science experiment, okay!” Minho grows flustered, the tips of his ears turning red. “It involves real people, and real feelings! Have you even asked ____ if they’re okay with this?”

You were fine, Seungmin convinced himself.  In fact you’d been exceedingly chipper, brighter than usual, chatting about anything and everything under the sun. It gave Seungmin confidence that maybe this could work. That maybe things didn’t have to change between you two, because maybe you’d been right for each other all along and he’d just missed it.

His phone vibrates with a text from you, and Seungmin is shoving the last dumpling in his mouth, ignoring Minho’s disapproving look as he throws his coat over his shoulders, bounding down the stairs to meet you outside his apartment.

“Want to go to a coffee shop—” the air is knocked out of your lungs when Seungmin crushes you in a hug, your fists banging on his back to let you go ten seconds later. Your face is flushed, an eyebrow raised in confusion, and Seungmin thinks you’ve never looked prettier.

“Isn’t that what couples do when they see each other?” Seungmin asks innocently, only to be met with a sigh.

“You’re paying for my coffee today,” you grumble. 

Dating you is easier than Seungmin imagined — the years of friendship provided enough experience in how to spend time together, but now he gets to tell everyone that you’re together together. He thinks his mother’s joyful scream nearly splits his eardrums the moment she finds out, rushing to the phone to dial up your own mother. The conversation between them lasts a good hour and a half, and a smile pricks at Seungmin’s lips at the pride in her voice.

He gets to catch you off guard by randomly deciding to pay for your smoothie, or to wrap an arm lazily around your waist when you’re talking to someone, the subtle squeak in your voice sending his heart aflutter.

Dating you is everything Seungmin could have imagined and more, because those infinite moments he’d always thought about, are moments spent making you laugh at his deadpan jokes, moments spent clinging to your back, begging you to make him some food since Minho stubbornly refuses to, and he thinks there’s no way he could mess this up.

Until he kisses you. The two of you are cuddled up on the couch, the soft soundtrack of the film you’d chosen together lulling Seungmin to sleep in your lap, his eyes heavy-lidded. It’s when your leg shifts that Seungmin wakes up, sleepy eyes blinking up at you, only to realize your hand is resting against his cheek, thumb softly stroking his skin. He wonders if the stars in your eyes are from the reflection of the movie on the screen, or whether they mirror the ones in his own. 

Seungmin moves without thinking, his forehead collapsing against your own, and he feels your surprised gasp against his cheek before his lips are brushing against yours softly. Warmth blooms where your fingertips still rest on his cheek, lighting up his entire body with an unspoken feeling. 

He breaks away from you, still holding you close, but the smile that grazes his lips is gone as soon as it appeared, your downcast face in front of him. Seungmin waits one second, then two, then a whole minute, but it feels like an infinity while he wills you to meet his eyes.

“I can’t do this Minnie,” you finally whisper, your voice bubbling and breaking, a lone tear streaming down your face.

“I don’t understand,” the words feel heavy on Seungmin’s tongue, like he’s numb and struggling to get them out. It was just one moment, there’d be another that followed, but how could everything have gone wrong?

“I can’t keep pretending like this doesn’t mean something to me,” you finally let go of his hoodie, and Seungmin felt the cold he hadn’t noticed before seep in. “To you, this is all infinite, like it’s always been. There’s always a yet, because every moment is temporary. It’s meaningless when you have tomorrow to worry about, right? Wondering where we’ll go on our next date or what random thing you’ll do next to knock the breath out of me?”

“But this,” you continue. “Right here, right now, it isn’t just something to me. It’s everything. It’s everything because I love you and because I’ve always loved you and because you’ve never been able to see that in your infinity, there has to be some kind of beginning and end. And you’re it for me. But I’ll never be enough for you.”

Seungmin wants to tell you you’re wrong, that he’s stopped thinking about infinity and mere moments, because he realized the same thing, that he never started actually paying attention to time until he met you, and you injected all the moments of his life with meaning. But the words that come out instead are wrong, so wrong.

“You’ll get another chance,” he watches you flinch at his words, rushing to slip on your shoes. You linger at the door, hand twisting around the doorknob. “You just haven’t met the right person yet.”

The knob clicks, and the door slams. And Seungmin is left alone, in the vast abyss of his infinity once more.

Minho spares him the lecture, and Seungmin is grateful. He doesn’t need to hear the “I told you so”, doesn’t need to face his mother’s concerned face when she asks why you haven’t been coming by lately. The loneliness cuts into him like a knife, and he wonders if the imaginary future he’d dreamed of all his life would be enough to take the pain of right now away.

The weather grows colder, and Seungmin’s heart freezes along with it. Time stretches out before him as he looks at his phone, waiting for a call or a text, teasing him, threatening him, as if to say - don’t you wish you had enough?

He spends his days staring out the window, watching the world pass by around him, realizing he’s tired of moving alongside it without you by his side. And then the snow begins to fall, a few flakes to start out, until it turns into a sea of white, and he can’t even see outside anymore.

The door clicks softly behind him, Minho’s voice echoing behind him while he stomps the snow from his boots.

“It’s really coming down out there,” Minho pauses, his voice clipped. “I saw ____ at the grocery store just now.”

Seungmin’s head whips around at the mention of you, but Minho, ever the menace, keeps his mouth shut, not knowing whether the next sentence that leaves his mouth will send Seungmin spiralling or not.

It’s silent between them for a few moments, Minho putting away his food in the kitchen cupboard, while Seungmin runs through endless scenarios in his head about whether you’re happy or sad, whether you’re doing fine or falling apart, whether leaving tore your heart in pieces as much as it did his.

And that’s when he spots it, tucked between the cushions of the couch. Your scarf, blue patterned and worn. You must have left it the last time you were here.

Seungmin knows that rationally, you’d probably have a backup scarf. Knows that rationally, with how much he’d chewed your head off about the future, that you’d have planned ahead.

But you’d never been the rational one.

Minho jumps in surprise when Seungmin leaps to his feet, yanking the scarf out from the couch.

“It’s cold outside,” Seungmin breathes out, and Minho raises an eyebrow. “Right now. Right now it’s cold outside, and ___ left their scarf here, and they, and I– shit!”

He’s running out the door before Minho can stop him, your scarf against his chest like it’s a lifeline.

. . . 

He sees you just outside the grocery store, struggling with the heavy load of groceries you’d bought for the storm. The tiny shiver that rakes down your spine is enough to send him running your way.

“Seungmin?” you call out to him in shock, seeing his frantic figure bound towards you in the snow.

“Your scarf,” he heaves, shoving the crumpled fabric into your hands. “You left your scarf.”

“Minnie,” you can’t help the nickname that slips out. “It’s okay, I have another one for next time–”

“This isn’t about next time,” Seungmin interrupts you, wrapping his arms around you, not caring that you drop your bags into the snow. “This is about right now. And right now it’s snowing.”

“Yeah,” your breath comes out in a fog. “It is.”

“And right now,” Seungmin’s voice cracks, unshed tears filling his eyes. “Right now I love you. I think I probably always have and I probably always will, but that doesn’t matter. You’re my past, you’ll be my future, and I hope you’ll be mine, right now in this moment.”

“What about not yet? The infinite possibilities of the universe?” You whisper, clutching his coat while he wraps the scarf around you.

“The universe is infinite because you’re at the center of it - an infinite number of ways to make you smile, to be whatever you need, to tell you I love you. You’re the beginning and the end, and everything in between.”

Your lips are crashing onto his, mouths colliding messily through the veil of your tears, and Seungmin never wants to let go. When you break apart, it’s to lay your head on his chest.

“Come home with me,” he whispers into your hair. “Let me make you some tea.”

You shake your head, burrowing into Seungmin’s neck, humming your response.

“Not yet.”

a/n pt. 2: As always, any feedback or comments are much appreciated, but I appreciate you all anyway. Lots of love, Isi 💜

[instantpansies]

the haberdasher/out of character

front facing phineas reference

yayyy gang centric episode yayyyy the friends the sillies the besties who don't know what to do without pnf

oh this inator is beautiful. mothenshmirtz is glorious i actually love this design

PERRY HAS CIRCUITRY IN HIS HAT!!!! more owca facts yay

i WAS spoiled for the "if i had a nickel" joke but it does hold up. very very clever

haberdasher truly a character out of hamster and gretel. why is he dressed like human!perry.

"and ferb" yeah tell her baljeet!! ferbjeet goes hard too can't lie! not my personal cup of tea (basic bujeet fan) but i'll hear it out

sighhhh i don't really like the haberdasher 😔 he's ok but feels like a mml/hng character and the vibes are off

doof w cutoff sleeves alright alright im here for it

buford of course you keep baljeet's schedule. come on now

LUMBERZACKS MENTION!!!! subtitles say "lumberzax" that's wrong. right? that's wrong?

buford,,,,,aspiring film student buford,,,,,buford fans living well this season

happy for a showbiz ep. always go hard

"i minored in sais quoi" doof went to college canon?????

oh baljeet.....autism boy.....love him

however what the fuck we know baljeet can get into character!!! did you guys ever even watch nerds of a feather???? this kid is a COSPLAYER!!! HE'S A LARPER!!!!! HE CAN ACT!!!!!!!!

whatever. whatever. this just contradicts my fave episode very slightly. it's fine. nobody else cares about that.

awww ofc it was all buford's idea

"baljeet chronicles"

BUFORD KEEPS LINDA'S SCHEDULE TOO LMAO

shoutout shane. i hope he comes back

[your-unfriendlyghost]

Was watching “Tex” w/ my cousin, here’s some of their interesting commentary:

“Maybe if they sold the brother Tex could buy back his horse”

“Jamie would probably not reject him if he just info dumped about horses. Tex is clearly autistic he needs to embrace it”

“Yeah Mason the solution to not being stressed is to just take it easy bro”

“Maybe if they sold the dad they could afford to put the horse through college”

“What if instead of expelling him she’s about to give him his horse back?” (A few seconds later) “OH MY GOD I WAS BASICALLY RIGHT”

(Imitating Tex, in a terrible attempt at an Oklahoma accent) “Oh no…not motorcycles…that reminds me of my hoooorrrrsssse…”

(Imitating Pop in the scene at the hospital) “See, the thing is kid, your mom…she was a horse…”

(Me, mishearing it as “whore”) “Damn, I mean, yeah??? I guess?”

“Jesus, that exploding typewriter prank would NOT fly nowadays”

(Me, nodding all sagely and shit) “Yeah…since we don’t use typewriters anymore”

“Do you think Cowboy hat suit guy (Cole) and Cowboy hat traditional guy (Pop) are epic rivals? Do you think they have enemies to lovers fics?”

(About Lem’s baby) “I just don’t think that babies need feet. I don’t consider babies to be people who need feet. I just feel disturbed, you know?”

(Me) “no, not really. I don’t…no. …Babies have feet.”

“Yeah yeah he got shot that’s bad- but OH NO NOT HIS BOOTS! NOT HIS JACKET! NOOO HE’S GETTING BLOOD ON THEM…NOOO…”

“A good excuse to reconnect with your ex is to get shot- gives you a good reason to call them. Good job Tex”

(In the scene where Tex and Johnny are fighting) “Ooh sweet crop top and cowboy belt- I see ya jock from Breakfast Club, I see ya”

“Maybe…a cowhorse…is like the kinda horse cowboys ride?”

(Me) “Uh…yeah, it’s a horse that herds cows…what did you think it was??”

“A horse-cow-hybrid thing”

(Me, legit shocked) “wHAT?!”

(My sister) “Uh yeah I thought that too”

(Other cousin) “yeah no same”

(Me) “y’all are uncultured”

(cousin) “Naw you’re just a weird horse nerd.

Bonus, from my other cousin: “oh my god Tex is so stupid”

My sister: “Yeah, but in like a lovable way! I’d wanna hang out with him, he’s nice!”

me, more darkly than is warranted: “Yeah, plus, your face is stupid man”

[voltaobjectcomic]

OKAY HERES THE CAST!!! INTRODUCING VOLTA WOOHOOO

to get to the beginning, i suggest just going through the archive! (other methods i tried werent working lol)

check the updates tag for comic updates!

volta is a object comic I made back in november! Its a story of self discovery and finding what life is really about. Its told from many different points of view, with different storylines happening at the same time! but it all comes together trust.

This is something ive been working on for quite a while and would be so happy if people liked it! All fanart and anything like that will be featured on the instagram! (same user as on here) tag me in it!!!anything and everything is appriciated :33

DESCRIPTIONS! vvvv

star pillow - my sona (cough cough) uh so hes basically me!! silly dude, transmasc, shares an apartment with nokia. likes all the same shit i do and uh acts like me ig?! (or how i would like to act if i was normal)

party hat - intresting little guy, has an alcoholic comeback arc?? doesent really care for SP in earlier eps (fell first, fell harder type shit aughhh) but ends up liking him. Pretty chill guy! kinda a asshole, soft spot for sp, doesent really like people all that much. microwaveable /j (inside joke auuugh)

moon dude - hes the parent friendal f of the group. pretty responsibe but is super chill when it comes to his friends. main buds r baked potato and bone. Has a place on his own somewhere.. dont know if thats important yet. definitely likes pool. tries to get party hat to play with him (he def thinks its dumb)

ita - THE SILLY!! shes super sweet and doesent like to drink. Friends with nokia, navy, tea, and cofi. very bubbly person and likes to talk about her intrests that no one else seems to know but listens to her anyways. (kinda like me with my fuckass object shows) (did i mention that ita is also me in a different font?!)

nokia - little freak. nokia is a diva. they have silly faces like :0 and :3 and :D and wow thats so cool. they are very chillness and awesomeness and wowness. kinda quiet, doesent talk much unless people talk to them first. would probably rather be at home watching TV. they also paint! they like old games, owns a 3ds and a NES. prolly has a archade machine in their room.

navy - auughhh kim (OC) we know its u babe. BASICALLY KIM! she rollerblades, has an awesome partner (bone), draws, is in a band, uhhh yeh so cool!! kind of outgoing, little bit like mae from night in the woods. doesent care to much about what people think of them. can be a bit of a nerd!!

bone - basicslly stacy,,,,(one of my ocs) uhh! evil devious little creature. likes to mess with people and joke around a LOT! skateboards, in a band, navys partner, does graffiti. hangs out w cofi and navy. kinda like spraypaint from burner cough cough. outgoing, doesent care what people think, devious, and funny. #notnonchalant

tea - very chill! shes so awesome. Likes to hangout with her friends. can probably be found in a bookstore or a coffee shop. basically the places sinjin drowning goes in their vlogs. keeps a scrapbook on her and likes writing! in lesbians with cofi (not officially but like it’s basically official like comeon guys the r so in love.)

cofi - quiet, chill, lil bit silly. she likes music and likes doing stuff with bone when she isnt with tea. enjoys the same stuff as bone, graffiti, skateboarding, ect. likes chilling with tea tho and finds her company enjoyable! thinks that being with tea is a nice break compared to running around with bone

baked potato - the silly.. uh yea! they're friends with MD and likes playing pool with him. also enjoys hanging out with nokia to play their old games. lil bit like pilly (burner) in the way that they talk and look. they're pretty chill and is kinda just there a lot of the time. they're dumb though, they just like to act like they're smart.

steam basket - best friends with tea. her side chick. doesent really like cofi. shes shy and quiet, but has a lot of opinions. she wants whats best for her girl! can be rude but not intentionally, she thinks shes doing whats right. NOT A HOME WRECKER!! Shes still very silly chat. she is very sweet!! would prolly say smth like ‘i only want whats best for you tea…’ while shitting on cofi. (METAPHORICAALY NOT LITERALLY SHES NOT ACTUALLY SHITTING ON HER YK WHAT I MEAN.)

[x1702x]

Replaying Bloodborne and as usual i was lollygagging in the workshop, guess what I found!

Gehrman's wheelchair engraving lightly resembles the astral clocktower!

It may be a reach but the shape is unmistakeable!

pleaseimnotinsanehearmeout

FIRST! The center design, its literally exact! Up to the little circle in the center!

If you look closely you can see the inside ring aswell as the outer ring (Although simplified)

Now at a closer look theres a figure/base or weird little thing under the clock, now now, where have we seen this before?

THATS RIGHT! MARIA ART

OK THIS IS KINDA A STRETCH BUT IT HAS SMTH OKAY...

POSSIBLE DLC FORESHADOWING FROM BASE GAME? WHO KNOWS!

Besides the head of the figure and her hat have the same shape:

Does this have anything lore important? No but getting a carving of your deceased crush' favorite spot AND likely grave (As in where she died) is something Gehrman would do crying over a tub of chocolate icecream while whilting some wood cursing himself for not following his "How to get bitches 101" book ig

Patrick Gehrman I swear to god

Another weird yet pretty homage to maria yay!...

Another one for the counter of things Gehrman has done out of hyperfixaring on Maria's death because its the only thing that keeps him sane ig

Gehrmaria shippers, Headcanoners and fellow lore nerds who care abt Gehrman will have a field day w this one, cheers

[miodiodavinci]

GREETINGS miodiodavinci aka one of THE coolest artists I must ask a very important question about Salvador AUTO RECOVERY. what does he look like without his hat....

from a scrapped attempt at drawing him in a more casual context:

kind of just hat hair all around and some degree of "nice hair did you cut it yourself nerd????" w

[girderednerve]

social stories for sex

this is NOT a social story for sex that was just the inciting phrase thank u raya. anyway one of the things that i am thinking about is the moment where i realized i was kinda gay, which was charged for other reasons that i will not be discussing here but was also accompanied by this like huge wave of relief. i was like, okay! i will never end up in a marriage like my parents', CONFIRMED! because i am GAY! and gay people have DIFFERENT PROBLEMS! i have to date not ended up in a marriage like my parents' (infinite success) but i don't think that's directly a function of being gay. but i did interpret, i think correctly, being gay as evidence that i would sort of have to make up a relationship model with whoever i ended up in a romantic relationship with, we were not just going to be going with the default options (date, he pays; get married; have children; prioritize his career; &c) because these default options were not culturally available to us at the time. i mean obergefell did happen while i was a teenager, i was late to work that morning refreshing the scotus blog for the opinion [NERD HOURS]. but the point more or less stands.

there's a part in nancy garden's classic YA novel good moon rising (less famous than the legendary annie on my mind but still quite good) where one of the main characters has sex with her boyfriend. it takes less than a paragraph; the sex is very quick; she thinks about it as though she is checking off boxes, doing what is expected of her. when she has sex with a woman, her whole idea about what sexuality involves changes dramatically, the feelings, the actions, the way that they think about it & talk about it; it's a new way of knowing herself & her body & someone else. there's also a really good bit where one of the girls is a stage manager & the other is acting in the high school play, & the stage manager is like 'your costar is a dick, let me show you how to literally upstage him.' theater, gay people love it. anyway! i am returning to the point. the point is that the available models for what sex looks like are still pretty narrow, at least when you are starting out, unless you go looking with some real intention & a lot of latitude. you can make things up together & inevitably to some degree everyone does, but it's harder to figure out how to do that if you are not aware that this is a thing that you should do, or that you can do. there's a lot of pressure on it. YA novel sex scenes are really meaningful to me when they are about not mechanics but the feelings around them, but you cannot have the latter without the former. euphemism is not helpful. i read a YA novel once, long out of print, where the main character is having sex with her idiot cowboy boyfriend & his belt buckle digs uncomfortably into her bladder and they have to stop and move. & i remember reading it and thinking, oh! these are, for a moment, real people, with real bodies, that are like mine; this is a concrete experience. wish i could remember the book but this detail is not eminently googleable.

anyway this is the kind of thing i think about when the idea of porn for teenagers comes up. because i read a ton of erotica as a teenager & i think that it was very important, actually, that i did that. it gave me both perfect agency, in the sense that i was reading alone & completely in control of what i looked at, and it gave me direct insight into other people's feelings, you know, that's the magic of the novelistic mode. i still have had many problems disentangling what i want from what seems correct or easy to want & expressing what i want & so on, i think these are very difficult projects for many people, i'm not suggesting that better pornography would resolve them. but when defenders of library YA collections (etc.) choose to hang their hats on nonfiction & assure everyone that there isn't erotic material in the collection, i think they are failing to make the vital point that erotica is good and we should have more of it

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: The Magician

W. Somerset Maugham: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the magician Maugham: so there's this evil magician Aleister Crowley: hell yeah Maugham: and he totally blew the big game against McKinley High Crowley: hey Crowley: hey wait a minute

Maugham: anyway this magician in my story? he really sucks Crowley: what are you trying to pull here, man? you making fun of me? Crowley: I'm the great beast! THE GREAT BEAST!!! Crowley: DO WHAT THOU WILT!! Crowley: I'LL STICK YOU IN A LOCKER, NERDLINGER! Maugham: come at me bro

Maugham: c'mon bro Maugham: do it Crowley: Crowley: naw i uh Crowley: i wouldn't want to bruise my punching arm Crowley: right before the big game Crowley: coach says i gotta stay prime

Maugham: also this magician kicks a dog Koontz: what?! no! Koontz: you didn't really kick a dog did you aleister? Crowley: alright that is IT Crowley: this nerd is going DOWN!!

Crowley: whatever, this story sucks anyway Crowley: it's totally just plagiarized Crowley: totally plagiarized from Crowley: Crowley: something, probably Crowley: Crowley: i'm gonna post that call-out

Maugham: yeah this magician just totally choked in the final play, couldn't even score a touch down Crowley: hey wait a second! Crowley: is this story making fun of me?! Barker: oh why would anyone make fun of you, aleister? Barker: you in your big pyramid hat

Crowley: what's wrong with my pyramid hat?! Barker: oh no nothing it's great, you definitely look super cool Crowley: my hat is COOL Crowley: this nerd is TOAST! Leah Hirsig: no babe don't do it he's not worth it Crowley: sorry babe i gotta pound this nerd Crowley: NOBODY MESSES WITH THE GREAT BEAST!

Barker: oo we're all real scared Poe: clive don't provoke him Barker: yeah i'm so scared Barker: so scared of aleister and his big pyramid hat Crowley: [angrily] this is the hat of a man who pulls massive amounts of pussy!!!

Crowley: I get laid ALL the time! Barker: sure pal Crowley: like, SO MANY scarlet women Barker: right Crowley: CHICKS DIG THE PYRAMID HAT! Barker: sure they do Crowley: I Crowley: SHUT UP Crowley: I'LL PUT YOU IN A LOCKER!

Crowley: I'M THE GREAT BEAST! Crowley: girls can't get enough of the pyramid hat! Barker: oh yeah? name two Crowley: well there's leah here Barker: uh huh Crowley: and Crowley: Barker: and? Crowley: SHUT UP i'm thinking

Crowley: there's Victor Neuburg Barker: Barker: victor neuburg huh? Crowley: no i mean Barker: didn't know you had it in you Crowley: it's not like that Barker: sure Crowley: i only fucked him to manifest thoth in a thelemite ritual Crowley: it's not like i like him or anything

[adachimoe]

Some asides about Persona Stalker Club episodes 6 and 7 (no Q&A segments)

Episode 6: This ep had no Q&A.

Instead, there was a segment where Adachi's VA Mitsuaki Madono was back as a guest in Adachi cosplay and he had to complete stages of Adachi's Challenge Mode in P4AU (mode where you can practice combos versus a training dummy), then he had to fight versus the AI. Madono is a beginner at fighting games. For each thing he completed, they would preview cutscenes from P4AU's story mode. (This was before P4AU came out on home console w/story mode.)

If he failed, then he could make up for it by taking an L card and subjecting himself to their recreation of Chie's meat gum (beef jerky ground up into... uh, something, then sprinkled on a regular stick of gum).

Madono successfully completed the Challenge Mode combos, then beat Yosuke's AI, but then he lost to Yu's AI in the next stage. For the sake of all the viewers, he tried the gum, and they showed a clip of the scene where Adachi runs away to throw up in the beginning of P4 bwaaaaaaaaaaahahhahahah.

Episode 7: Also had no Q&A. During this episode, they had voice actor Tomokazu Sugita as a guest cosplaying as Yukiko, and he got schooled in P4AU by a dev from Arcsys named Mysterious Masked Man, who was indeed a mysterious man in a mask (with a Jack Frost hat).

In order to give Sugita an edge versus the dev, before matches Sugita was allowed to draw a card from the "Persona" box and the card would have instructions for one of the hosts to distract or hinder Masked Man in some way. E.g. one of the cards was that Masked Man had to be hooked up to a low frequency electrotherapy device (he played Shadow Kanji for this match lol).

If Sugita lost, he also had to draw a card from the "Shadow" box which made him do stupid stuff as a form of punishment. One of the punishments was the same meat gum that Madono had in episode 6, and he dragged everyone else down with him by making Mafia Kajita and Masked Man try the gum too. Another one of the Shadow box cards was challenging Sugita to do a "One-Man Persona Show", which is what this clip is from:

(This episode of Stalker Club was pre-recorded so the in-game graphics and stuff were added in for the airing.)

Sugita was a guest this episode because he is a huge nerd who voices Ragna the Bloodedge in BlazBlue, also made by Arcsys. He would later voice Yusuke in P5. (It's possible that he had already recorded Yusuke's role at this point as script and voice work often gets done before other dev work.)

(I looked at the rest of the Q&A segments and I am terrified of the length of some of these questions and answers lol. Like, in ep 8, someone asks if Aigis's robot tiddies are hard or soft, and they take 1.5 text worth of screens to daydream about this.)

[ladykailitha]

WIP Wednesday Game

It’s WIP Wednesday, time for a little accountability, sharing your work, and getting a kick in the pants.

Here’s how it works:

In a reblog (or new post w/ rules attached), post up to five (5) filenames or specific AUs your WIPs; not titles, filenames (eg werewolf AU, unnamed mafia omegaverse, or Steve's Rizz vs Eddie's Zero Filter.)

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to post!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write at least 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can't share from (for example, an event fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. If you tag me in your post, I will send you an ask request!

If you’re reading this, you’re invited!

If you see someone posting a WIP Wednesday Game snippet, send them an ask! Make them write.

My only problem is that I tend to file name what the title is so I can find it easier, so...here’s what they were called before I titled them.

“File” Names

Final Season 2 AU Story (first story here, second one here)

Sugar!Baby

Nanny

Himbo Witch

Snippet

[Dustin] went to go leap over the counter when Steve grabbed him by the scruff of his neck.

“Oh hell no,” Steve snapped. “One I just sorted those tapes and I’m not doing it again, and two you don’t need to hack shit, because I know where he is without all the techno bullshit.”

“Techno is a genre a music,” Max supplied unhelpfully.

“And it’s not bullshit if it helps us find him!” Dustin growled.

“Did you even listen to the rest of Steve said?” Robin asked, knocking his hat off his head. “He knows where Eddie is.”

Dustin blinked at Steve for a moment. “How would you know that?”

Steve rolled his head and tilted his head back. “Because I was on the actual fucking walkie talkies you make us carry around everywhere we go and Eddie radioed the party last night. AND I was the only one who answered!”

Dustin and Max blinked at Steve’s outburst, shocked that he would yell at them. But with Eddie missing and a girl dead, it was forgivable.

“So where is he,” Dustin groused, picking up his hat and slamming it down on his head, “if you’re so smart?”

“Reefer Rick’s boathouse on Lover’s Lake?” Steve suggested with a half shrug.

~

A note about the final story in the Steve gets adopted by Hellfire and becomes a theatre nerd trilogy: it will not be as long as the others, it will focus on a little of season four, and then the aftermath. I don't imagine it will be more than 10k words. I wanted to wrap it up and not leave it dangling, but I'm not loving the universe anymore.

When I wrote the first one "Can Anybody See Me?" there weren't that many season 2 AUs where Hellfire adopted Steve after season 2. Now there are...maybe not hundreds, but at least dozens of them. I also never intended to go further than where I ended the first one, but there was demand for a sequel and I wrote it.

To say it wasn't as well received as the first would be an understatement. It did 1/3 the numbers of the original and I struggled with the desire to want to finish it at all. But after talking to my wonderful discord peeps, I decided to do a short, almost epilogue so that it would be done. And before season 5 comes out.

So that's the goal, get it done and posted before season 5.

It's that great and wonderful time of the week again! WIP Wednesday!

The game runs from 8am-11pm EST.

Send in as many asks as you want as often as you want.