#warning long ass post

[nainainomi]

Very indulgent squid game rant and ig some analysis later on

spoilers ish, was going to say they weren't very important but then my rant was derailed and I end up saying some very late in game spoilers so ya

Have seen a lot of memes poking fun of Gi-hun for his whole "I've played these games before, but not alot on how dumb his plan was. Like I understand he's not some super scholar, but like really lining them up in a line like dominos... do you not see how that could go wrong. My defense for being harsh about this is A) this is his second time, he had time to think about this event he shouldn't have been as panicked. and b) why did EVERYONE listen to him, when they all got back they all got suspicious with him, where was this suspicion DURING the game?!?! along with the fact that this is games you're familiar with, they're CHILDREN GAMES, who WHO goes to red light and green light and makes a conga line. Ok so they were trying to not get shot, so a little bit different from the child's game, but it's not a first thought. If some random guy was telling me if we lose we die, and get in a line I'd be like 'wtf no I'll play the game the way i was playing currently just more cautious.

This next thought can be thrown away since they were under pressure of like a bunch of people being killed, but also NO ONE else thought this was a bad idea. There was no one who thought that seems dangerous I'm not going to listen to this guy.

I saw a youtuber mention that the line could get you hit by like the bullet hitting someone else and then going through them and traveling and hitting you ( since you're in a line), but that's not my real problem with this because first we've not seen any examples of that happening, whether it's movie magic or the guns are calibrated or made (idk anythign about guns) the distance away the guns are allows for the bullets to not go through multiple people and also I'm skeptical because the games are meant to be fair so their would be precaution against that and since they're in a line the snipers form the sides can just get them... ->

SO my problem with it is the whole domino situation, the person infront of you is shot, they fall back onto who, YOU.

Even more to this, why would you trust the players behind you. See I'm not saying in a game of life and death I would do what Thanos did, but im a regular ol game of red light green light I probably have done what Thanos did. Maybe I'm a paranoid person but me personally if I knew I would get shot for moving I would not put myself in shoving distance anyone.

All this to say, honestly don't know how I would actually react if I was put into this extreme situation, maybe I'd end up doing all of this.

But wow it rly bothers me because Gi-hun has the advantage and he made such a dumb plan. I sorta feel validated bc Thanos did push someone so the flaws I'm seeing ARE there and aren't me being like completely unreasonble. But maybe that says something about Gi-hun, even though he's no longer smiling like he did in S1, he's still an optimist at heart, he wants to save everyone, he wants to trust everyone, and trust them to not only save themselves but others aswell. And it just doesn't work out for him. Though he's obviously traumatized by the first games he's still himself at heart. Hoping that everyone will follow his lead and that he can lead them away from their deaths.->

which really highlights the cruelty of all these games, by not just showing us people are dying, we see these people dying from the view of our protagonist who's trying so hard and yet he can't win. We see how cruelly the games treat Gi-hun's hopes, he is crushed by the games, and that is probably more impact to us the viewers than most of the deaths. I don't mean the side charaters death's, the people who we got to see their stories, but think of all the extras who's names we don't even know. Did you really care about their deaths, no you didn't get to know them, maybe you felt anger at the games but they have no emotional attachment to your heart. SO Gi-hun is the one who truly allows us to feel pain for the deaths the game causes, because Gi-hun feels that pain and feels that guilt.

He tries to lead them in red light green light, but the chain is disrupted and people die, the one guy he hoped to save at the very end PASSED the line, and yet he was shot down after the game. He has a nightmare about everyone following him and choosing triangle, just for it to end up harder-> and you know what's even more important about that dream, they follow him, he is leading them, just to fail them again. Gi-hun LEADS a revolt, and all those who followed him died except Hyun-ju (and player001 but yk).

Anyway also think that next season the rest of the players are definitely going to turn on him, they've already been suspicious of him and then he got a lot killed following him. So yay more guilt for him.

[essektheylyss]

I am certain that this has been said before, by myself and others, but because we're talking about it, let's look at the Trent situation in some depth, shall we?

I will admit, I was among those who was of the opinion that there might be another arc of campaign 2 to deal with the Assembly, since they were positioned as the entity pulling strings in Wildemount, they had been tangentially associated earlier with a plot to release Tharizdun, and because they were of minor to major interest with regard to character backstories, not least with multiple members being involved in the Aeor arc (and when it was still believed that Veth might've had some relationship to Doolan Tversky). Nevertheless, in hindsight, I don't feel that there's any issue with the positioning of the Assembly by the end of the campaign. They are a problematic entity that continues to exist in the world as grounding, because such entities are not generally one-note villains to be killed and destroyed; they are generally systemic and entrenched, and require sustained and systematic collaboration to dismantle. The same can be said of the Clasp, or the Myriad. And indeed, Caleb will be focused on this dismantling for at least the next six years.

Looking at Trent in particular, though, requires considering Caleb's narrative arc in full, and in particular, the shift that he undergoes from the beginning to the end. He begins the campaign specifying that he is seeking to take down Trent, "among other things", which we know from his later wishes entails turning back time and undoing his parents' deaths—though, given he doesn't give details on the matter at the time, we can't say then whether or not his plan entailed attempting to leave the timeline unaltered, essentially leaving his younger self to succumb to the guilt and subsequent trauma of the Asylum. It's possible that he had considered that then, and it was simply a pragmatic attempt to preserve the timeline and prevent a paradox, but it's also possible that that element only came later, when Caleb found that he was capable of forgiving himself.

By the time he gets to the point of telling the whole group about his history, before they have dinner with Trent, he specifies that his intent was to atone, but "that idea has evolved quite a bit over time, and I'm not sure what the exact answer is. But I mean to atone." It is worth noting that in this conversation also is the exchange with Caduceus about the goal being no more kids on the pyre. This also only comes after the Nein have shifted from their early extreme murder hobo mercenary tendencies to a group with diplomatic ties who have already navigated a minimum of two governments to end a war, so their methods have changed and their options have expanded, not only in terms of their personal abilities but their social influence as well.

At this point, we know, he has not let go of the potential to turn back time—he admits to Essek later that he doesn't know what he would choose if the thing that he wanted was placed in front of him (incidentally, mere hours before it was). Which means that his idea of atonement has shifted in other ways. In that first conversation with Beau and Nott, Beau says that, "There are two options here: you can selfishly try and go after this guy for your own vendetta, or you can use your motives to keep others from getting hurt in a very similar way," and Caleb admits in response that both are appealing. We must infer then, based upon this information, that what has shifted over ninety episodes later in his idea of atonement is that he is no longer motivated by a selfish dedication to his personal vendetta.

In fact, he seems to slip back into that vendetta later, if not in the asylum (where it is unclear how much he is acting out of necessity than due to a regression, but I would suggest it is a bit of both) then when he attempts to convince the Nein and then Essek that they should invite Trent and the scourgers to join them in Aeor, in an effort to eliminate Trent beyond the view of the rest of the Assembly or the Empire. Even as they prepare to go to the asylum, he admits that he wants Trent dead for ruining his life, though only after extensive pressing from Veth as to whether he is avoiding confronting Trent out of fear, and he adds that he does not want to risk the rest of the Nein in the pursuit of it. I've argued previously that Caleb realized when Essek challenged him on it that he was willing to jeopardize their true mission—to prevent Cognouza from wreaking havoc on Exandria in Lucien's hands—in pursuit of this goal, and this was truly his final wake-up call about the dangers of the path he had been on.

The Assembly has a habit of distancing themselves from the responsibilities of their fellow members; the Assembly as a whole turned on Delilah the moment she ran afoul of the law, Ludinus and Vess both distanced themselves from Trent, and later Astrid distances herself from Ludinus, even though we know she is part of the reason he remained untouchable through the trials against Trent. When members are expelled or eliminated, they are framed as fringe criminals, whose actions and activities were unsanctioned by the Assembly and therefore beyond the control of the others, regardless of the truth of that.

Caleb recognizes that there is plenty of evidence to tie Trent's activities to the Assembly, but likely also understands that Trent will not be tried or convicted in death, and as such the scourger program will not come to the attention of the Empire's legal system if he takes revenge before he gets justice. And by this point, what he wants is justice, because only with justice can he prevent further harm. He admits to Essek that, "I know what it means to have other people complicate your desires and wishes," and frames this as not only a good thing, but indeed the only thing that might save either of them. He ultimately neither kills Trent nor returns to the past, and this is what allows him to move forward out from under the weight of his sins and sorrows.

So by the end of the campaign, what Caleb has attained is this: a reorientation of his priorities, a commitment to his own future, and the means to not only gain justice for himself but to ensure that what happened to him will not happen, in this manner at least, again in a manner that is sanctioned by the Assembly.

To argue that the "Assembly plot" was not wrapped up by the end of campaign 2 is to fundamentally misunderstand both the nature of the campaign, which was one driven by character interests and histories rather than external plot, and to additionally further misinterpret Caleb's actual goals. There was no Assembly plot in campaign 2; there was only Caleb's plot. The end state of that plot is determined not by the elimination of one unchanging villain (though it does, technically speaking, still satisfy that requirement, the Solstice blast notwithstanding), but by reaching a point at which Caleb can begin to recognize that he can live with himself and the efforts he is undertaking—but also, more fundamentally, to recognize that he can live.

[cypresscries]

Okay you know i had to.

[bluehairperson]

GORETOBER Day 1 and 5: Slit Throat and Nosebleed

[thisismycorneroftheinternet]

Ok, update on the latest Neoboards Transphobia drama, so people on the (former) General Discussion board and on Site Events have been complaining about the ongoing moderation issue and how the transphobes are literally there, still insulting us and trying to twist the narrative into the typical "this is inappropriate" type of bullshit argument, while if we argue back or post threads about it we keep on getting silenced and warned and all.

And, well, if you don't want to believe this is the mods 100% supporting transphobia, here's VERY strong evidence for the case, two warnings that a user got, the first regarding a thread on Site Events talking about mods not protecting trans people in site, and the second on the subsequent thread complaining about being warned for said first thread.

Yeah... The moderation is arguing that talking about trans topics is talking about sexual topics. A classic bigoted argument against trans people's existence.

All of this while the transphobes continue to harass users and spam threads with transphobic rhetoric.

So yeah, ain't it fun?

[optimistic-autistic]

i personally do like broadway epic iii but the london (2018. not west end. take that thang away from me) one is my favourite by far. like- ''the sun rose and fell in his chest when he held her / he felt the earth moving without and within'' is such a great moment. and it also keeps the garden imagery??? i'm in love. it's so beautiful agdhjzfhs

[yooniesim]

ok unfortunately for yall the dash made me have a thought so now I gotta ramble lol

but ya know. maybe it's bc I've had so much time away from here and all the bitching (/affectionate) but over the past couple years, I get less angry about this shit and more solution-minded. and I don't mean for the community as a whole (that's impossible lol) but in a sort of... personal circle/responsibility type of way. like what we can do among ourselves without the confrontation aspect bc, just being honest- from my perspective & experience, the anger and the bitching doesn't really accomplish shit. not to say it ain't justified, & it's important to raise awareness for sure, but i swear me & a lot of others that have been talking about this for a long time have just been barking in circles without anything budging one way or another. which leads to burnout/emotional exhaustion not just for the ppl in question but for followers/mutuals/friends. I spent far too long and waaaay too much mental energy thinking that being the loudest and the boldest would get something to change. but the scammers keep scamming and the shit just keeps going. and sure it's fun as hell to shoot the shit and pick and bitch and laugh with your mutuals. baby yall know I love a good simblr circlejerk. but ya know, when you sit down and think about it it's a lil depressing. and the ppl you're talking to/around are already Aware and eventually the anger wears off and they're just tired of hearing about it. you're preaching to the choir and everyone is just pissed and tired with no clear goal to work towards.

Part of that exhaustion is why i made @alwaysfreecc as a positive way to boost always free creators, without focusing on the paywallers. as well as always supporting alternate ways of getting paywalled cc. but I think it takes a lil more than just that. I think, like the post I just reblogged was saying, people need to learn how to make their own content too. I know there's a learning curve, but so many things paywallers make are outright easy to do yourself. Some aren't- there are paywall creators that put great effort into their content and make it worth your money- but a lot of them are. And that isn't to say you should make everything yourself, there's nothing wrong with supporting creators that make content you find interesting or wouldn't want to do yourself, but it can be really rewarding to learn how to make simple edits and recolors on your own. And, image editing and 3d modeling skills can also benefit you elsewhere in life! Whether professionally or when modding other games. Knowing how to make cc in sims helped me figure out how to make certain things for skyrim and fallout, for example. Hell, it's just plain FUN to figure out and do, and I think the community could always use more of that.

Also, sometimes it's freeing to just, stop using certain creators' content. Like, i used to be bitching yet downloading stuff off dhm and shit, out of spite mostly cos half the stuff I didn't even like. But since I cleared out a lot of paywallers' stuff, besides a few I think are worth it/doing things honestly, it just feels better. I don't even think about those mfs anymore until I see something about them on my dash and then I can barely remember who they are lol. You don't realize how much you really don't NEED any of that shit & how you were kinda just downloading it to be downloading it, until you toss it. AND it feels great to have mostly always free creators' content & support them. Liiike i feel proud of ppl i saw get started and are STILL FREE and making awesome stuff, it's exciting! even when I'm not playing the game, I see their posts and be like "dang I need to grab that when I update" or "man they've gotten so much better in so little time" or "wow I never thought of that idea/seen that before". Bc always free peeps get to be so damn creative bc they don't have deadlines or turning off their paying audience to worry about. Like it's so cool and positive and I love that.

idk, just. based on what I've experienced here, i feel like it's kinda time to focus less on what the assholes are doing now (aka the same exact thing they've been doing for years) and more on what to do to make our own personal experiences better. which I know a lot of us are doing! I just wish I personally had done it earlier lol so maybe someone else needs to hear that too. like toss these dummies to the curb and replace them is what I'm sayin. If not in the whole community but just your personal circle. raise awareness as needed sure but don't let em take any more of your energy. cos if you are petty like me (😂) it'll hurt em way more to cast em out than yell at em. all the ppl that have bitched at me yet still have my cc in their folders come to mind lmfao, cos personally that gives me more satisfaction than anything else so I know it's probably the same for the scammers! Like a "you hate me but you can't bear to not use my shit huh 😏" type of deal. Don't give em that sick pleasure! (/projecting) Just focus on you and yours and make some sick ass content for yourself, then share it to me thx 💅

[tokyoteddywolf]

Not me debating writing an Aventio fic based on a book I really loved... urgh-

I got Aven recently and just finished his arc in Penacony and I am incredibly bored! I wanna write while I have the energy...

Lemme know if I should :p

Basic premise is its based on a book called Written In Red, which I feel absolutely fits Aventurine??? Look at the book first, give it a read, and tell me the main character doesn't remind you of him. I will go feral.

Anyways if you don't, the premise of the book is that the main character, a blood prophet who is also a slave, escapes and runs away from captivity to a town in order to hide and live amongst sentient predators called "Others", basically ancient as fuck monsters that can swap between animal and human forms. Others actually do prey on humans, but it's modern times and they have a begrudging agreement to coexist with humans because they make decent stuff that the Others can't create. The main character ends up living among them and figures out herself, while also teaching the Others some new things. It's actually a nice book in my opinion.

I'd have to reread the book but yeah. That would be the very basic idea. I already have a character list of who is who lmao.

I wouldn't make it a carbon copy of the book though, not with the characters I have in mind, but it would be a similar plot at least. Consider giant wolf Ratio, everybody, that's all I'm giving you.

So...

EDIT: Holy crap that's like 50 people and it hasn't even been a day-

Here you go ya feral bastards jesus-

Warnings for gore, violence, blood, people get torn apart and eaten you have been warned. (Can only be viewed if you have an account)

Enjoy

[bitternace]

WHY ARE YOU SO EVIL!!! /POS. ATTACKING YOU.

Xemnas and Xigbar for 37 if that number hasn't been done? If it has, how about 74?

no puedo pedirle lo eterno a un simple mortal // ay, todo lo que he hecho por ti.

[ID: a mostly black and white drawing with a purple overlay of xigbar and xemnas shown from the hip up on the left side of the image. the background is black and has some diagonal lines with a bit of transparency on the right side. the shadows are harsh, with only a bit of light falling on their faces.

they stand before each other turned to the audience. xigbar, holds the handle and the middle of No Name before him, head tilted down as he looks to the audience. xemnas stands a full head taller behind xigbar, his left hand held some distance below the bladed tip of No Name, his left eye is covered by his fringe.

xemnas visible eye is painted ochre with a white pupil, while xigbar's eye is white and gold. The eyes on no name's handle and the gazing eye on the blade are a vibrant cyan. the caption reads the spanish lyrics "i can't ask a simple mortal for a forever" and "oh, everything i've done for you." /End ID.]

close-up under keep reading.

[moonsavior]

Heaven was too sick to take school pictures so Seiya "opted out" as well to stay with her in the infirmary.

After school, Seiya set up a camera.

[dont-hug-me-its-yuri]

I HOPE YOU KNOW I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS AU BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU POSTED SO I NEED TO ASK Is there anyone you're in the mood to talk about? I've never been good with specifics here but I think it's fun to give someone the chance to discuss something that might be on their mind. I love your story SO MUCH and I don't even know it all yet REVEAL WHAT YOU CAN <3 ilysm!!! /p Take your time replying :D

Doll, hugs!!! I know you need them right now!!! Thank you for the ask :)

one of my favorite aspects of this au is Shrignold and Coffins dynamic because they’re totally opposites and yet their storylines both have two different aspect of a trans struggle

Shrignold has a bright color scheme, flashy and pastel, Shrignold is manipulative, absent-minded, and pampered, their looked up to and adored by the other cult members and have a “great” destiny waiting for them, Shrignold to an outsiders view has the perfect life, their adored and loved and “spoiled” for just existing

but Shrignold well being a manipulator is also a victim themself, raised to basically die and knowing no life outside of the clouds, and also being raised as somebody they aren’t, the cult never really knew how butterfly’s themselves work, they don’t know butterfly sex or gender, they raised the butterfly genderless until they noticed Shrignolds like of traditional feminine stuff which by the cults narrow views made them a girl

now Shrignold does enjoy dresses, they wear their hair long and they love makeup but they’ve never viewed themselves as a women, it never feels right, heck the name Shrignold always feel so weird especially when they hear it from one of the other teachers and not a cult member, Shrignold is a trans person who’s been suppressed, the real them hidden away from the world by others who instill fear in them at the thought of expressing themselves

Coffin has a dull color scheme, muted and mostly neutrals, she’s caring for those they see fit, wise though hot-headed, and very in tune with nature, he has only really had a close relationship with Tony up until recently, with both of them being manifestation of death and time respectively which also makes them both basically genderless by default, Coffin also has a destiny of her own as well though she views it as being destined to outlive almost everybody she will ever love or know due to her inherent immortality

over its years of existence, Coffin and Tony (and eventually just Coffin) found themselves dressing in the fashion relevant at the time to blend in with normal folks and not come off unsettling, Coffin in early days, young and innocent would eagerly interact with people, making many friends and lovers who would eventually die off

Coffin loved the dressing up and getting to be somebody who wasn’t themself, creating many different personas, you could say, but nowadays especially since she actually has more companions due to being around the other teachers…he doesn’t really need to the personas anymore and that scares her deep down because…she has to be herself and not these people it likes to be, Coffin is a trans person who’s surpassing herself, trying to be so many different people that she almost doesn’t know who she is…

and…Coffin and Shrignold hate eachother…but their also friends? Coffin thinks Shrignold is pampered, she doesn’t know Shrignold was basically kidnapped as an infant and at her own fault thinks Shrignold had never struggled, that the butterfly hasn’t experienced the pain she’s seen other people go through, Shrignold looks down on Coffin, thinking she’s not even good enough for Malcolm to even try and convert, and yet, Shrignold hangs around Coffin, pestering them for…entertainment? Companionship? Some twisted sense of love?

and Coffin puts up with it cause even if she mistakes the situation Shrignolds in for them just being “spoiled and pampered” and thinking Shrignolds willingly staying in their situation, she still pities them…she wants them to get better.

[corpseybun-old]

Ight Mikevictim au is a go. Thanks to @ars3n1ck (lmk if you dont want me pinging you in the future) for giving me the confidence to actually post this lmao

It's June 21th, 1983, and 8 year old Michael Afton has only 5 days until his amazing epic birthday party at Fredbear's Family Diner. His father has been setting up his party, so he's been incredibly busy. Michael's brother uses this as an opportunity to bully the absolute shit out of him, and it culminates with him shoving his younger brother into Fredbear's mouth during his party and nearly killing him.

The poor birthday boy is rushed to the hospital immediately. Ambulances take him, his brother, and William to the hospital. William doesn't even acknowledge that his older child is in the room with him even after they get to the hospital. He's way too focused on Michael to care.

Michael's been in a coma since the bite, and it takes months of him being watched by medical staff (and William) until he finally wakes up.

He isn't immediately allowed home, he still has lots of recovery to do. He's finally dispatched from the hospital on March 12th, 1984, and he notices a distinct lack of his older brother when he and William arrive home. William brushes it off, explains that he went to summer camp. Michael realizes as soon as he realizes what day/year it actually is that it isn't even summer yet, he tries to question William more but can't get the words out right. He ends up crying because honestly dude who wouldn't he was in a coma for 9 months and now everything is wrong💀 Entire ass family member just missing when he gets back yeah man I'd be sobbing too.

I honestly don't have it as fleshed out from there. Foxybro is living alone, he got kicked out by William sometime during Mike's coma, and I like to think he tries desperately to get custody of his little brother the second he turns 18. He does not want him around William anymore after he realizes what he did😭😭

MCI happens a couple months after Mike gets home, it happens on his birthday bc I love giving him trauma and also bc I like to think William saw those masked bully kids (minus Foxybro) when working his shift at the diner and something in him just snapped.

William doesn't end up killing any of the bullies, he can't take on multiple teenagers, so instead he ends up killing some random kid after they get conveniently locked outside when Will's on his smoke break. I can't decide if this is Charlie or not, but either way, they go on to possess the puppet.

This is William's first taste of killing, and oh my god, does he go crazy stupid from the adrenaline rush. Ends up leading a kid to their death that same night after he gets back in the Spring Bonnie suit. Stuffs 'em in Chica.

I don't have the dates for the other 3 missing kids planned out yet, but William pulls the same Spring Bonnie saferoom lure trick on them, too.

Eventually Foxybro finds out what happened and puts everything together bc he knows his dad only let's himself wear Spring Bonnie. This is when he actually starts trying to get custody of Mike. God forbid his own little brother ends up being the next missing kid.

3 dead kids later and he manages to get temporary custody of him because William gets jailed. Just as the two of them are settling into things William gets released because of a lack of evidence.

Skip forward idk how long and William's taking Michael out of Hurricane. He already was so close to being found out, it doesn't help that Foxybro actually knows he did it, so one night he tells Mike to grab his stuff and they flee the town right then and there. They're on the road for a while. They bounce from place to place and don't stay in one area for too long (mainly bc William can't help himself and eventually kills someone in like every place they stop at💀). Michael only really had time to bring one of his plush friends, so he brings his Fredbear plush (I call it Friendbear so I don't confuse it with the actual robot lmfao) with him. William puts a walkie-talkie in it so he can spy on his son when he's away killing people ,and* so he can talk to him while he's away. Mike doesn't know it's his dad. He just thinks it's Friendbear talking more than usual.

Then I really don't have it planned out from there, like at all in the slightest. But yeah, that's uh 'bout it so far.

Also, yeah, I don't have a name for Foxybro if it wasn't painfully obvious enough lmfao. Might stick the whole "no one knows this kids name" thing that cannon bite victim has going on with him orrrrrr I might cook up a fitting name later. I don't have names for the missing kids either, tbh and I have no idea how to fit any of the games other than 4 into this properly, lol. Maybe Foxybro works at places? Would definitely not be using the Mike Schmidt name, though lmfao I'm not pulling a Scott here, no double names💀 Maybe he's taking all the minimum wage night jobs so he can save up for court fees? I have no idea how Sister Location would fit into this. Also ngl I'm very tempted to say William doesn't even own Fredbears or any Freddy's joint for that matter in the au because the idea of the killer just being some guy scares me personally way more then "ohhhh evil owner uses his business to kill kids ahh", lol. Might not even keep any of the Afton family's names, honestly, because this au started way, way, way before Will himself even had a name, and I know I had some stupid ass name made up for the killer so I could just reuse that.

[bryverros]

was bored, decided to read one fanfic that was randomly recommended (i've barely read anything on the ship before but i liked it as a sort of crack ship but now it's without a doubt one of my favorite things ever im going insane really) not thinking much of it. liked the author's writing style and found out they have two more works on the said ship. decided to read the rest. the final one turned out to be one of the most heart wretching angstable angst i've ever read, i'm going to need a decade to recover. one of the best fanfictions i've read to this very day. it was absolutely flawless

[tr1ck5]

I wasn't originally planning on writing any of this, but I've read so many wonderful and deeply personal love letters to FFVIII yesterday and today for its 25th anniversary that it kind of emboldened me to.

So here goes I guess, kind of somewhat personal wall of text about a ps1 game, under the cut. You've been warned!

Okay now I don't know how to start. You could say FFVIII came into my life at exactly the right time for me to absolutely imprint on it.

I remember playing the demo that came with a bunch of other demos from a PSN magazine; I'd watched my older brother play a lot of FFVII beforehand and I was enchanted by the story, graphics and characters, the music... Even though my understanding of english at the time was next to mediocre so I relied on him to explain things a lot. I was like... 8 or 9 then so loads of subjects and plot points went completely over my head but it didn't matter at all to me (It was kind of hilarious when I replayed it when I was older because I was like damn, this story is a LOT more convoluted/complicated than I remember wth??? Lmao)

When VIII finally released and I watched my brother play, I was now 10/11 and sometimes he'd play without me so I missed a lot of stuff (and it's rather funny because I remember looking at Squall and co at first and being like whoa, those adults have got their shit together so much and wow how I ever could have looked at Squall and thought that, is beyond me lmao) but when he was done with it I picked it up and played. And sucked. But it stayed with me through my teenage years, never too far.

I was then a lot more fluent in english and literature in general so it pretty much was my first real big 'story-driven' video game ever. I was so damn invested, and, perhaps most of all, I saw myself in Squall so damn much it was borderline uncanny. I think it's so comforting (or alarming depending on how you want to look at it lol) that that seems to be a common thing for all of us die-hard fans. We just 'get it', don't we?

I've... always been a 'weird' kid. That kid other kids somehow know to stay away from, because something is 'off' with them, before they learn how to mock and bully. And I was aware of my 'otherness' as much as them, for as long as I can remember. I never quite fit in, anywhere, no matter how hard I tried. I didn't have a lot of friends, and the very few I had I always kept at arms' length for self-preservation reasons. If I was never vulnerable, if they knew nothing deeper than surface-level stuff about me, they could never hurt me. And this way I wouldn't get too attached, so when they left it wouldn't hurt. Sound familiar?

Admittedly it's safe to assume that I had a somewhat fucked-up childhood (I mean, I wasn't an orphan forced to become a child soldier but still lol) as these behaviours didn't appear out of nowhere, and Squall's inner monologues and way of seeing things just resonated so much with me, I couldn't believe this guy was the hero that saved the day, despite all his traumas and anxiety... But he was. And he did. And his friends cared for him despite it all. And someone fell in love with him, flaws and all. He realized his way of life wasn't sustainable forever and he just... changed. But he wasn't unlovable. He wasn't irredeemable and broken! I cried so much the first time I finished that game. It felt so fucking unfair, I felt like I'd grown and matured right alongside Squall but as the credits rolled and the tv screen turned black I was met with my reflection; alone, in my room. Where were my friends, where was my Rinoa?

I'm an extremely private person. Sharing deep things about myself is extremely difficult for me and twice now I've come this close to erasing the entirety of this post. I have to fight the voice in my head that says this is irrelevant and useless at best, and dangerous to divulge so much personal info at worst. When I talk about personal things, even to the people closest to me, I start shaking and I feel nauseous and cold all over. Even today, right now as I'm typing this!

But this damn video game made me realize that I would never be happy and at peace if I was never honest and vulnerable. Because when you spend years around someone and know loads of things about them yet they know nothing about you, you're not a friend; you're an acquaintance. To love is to give a person the means to hurt you and trust them not to. You have to take that leap.

I eventually found my friends, and my Rinoa; I'm still having trouble trusting and opening up and relying on others but it got better, and it gets better still, and it's in part because of that. one. video game. Ain't that just crazy? A little bit, probably. Who cares.

I feel this wall of text of a post is all over the place and probably TMI but wow good on you for reading through it all lmao. Am I gonna regret posting this in the morning? Most definitely. But hopefully I have the strenght to leave it up. Hopefully someone somewhere can also relate, like I've related so much to all of your posts on this game! Ultimately I am deeply grateful and amazed by this community, we're the black sheeps, the underdogs, the often ill-understood... But I wouldn't want it any other way.

Happy 25th anniversary, Final Fantasy VIII.

[jojosgaylittleadventure]

This is the fourth fic in my Josuyaus series that takes place while they're still in high school You can find my series here I also have a master post of all my Josuyasu writing here

Summary: After a study session gone wrong, Josuke finds himself needing somewhere he can feel safe and at home and that some where turns out to be Okuyasu. Tags: Post-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, the following tags are not from/between the ship (just an fyi), Non-Consensual Kissing, Non-Consensual Touching, Side Character/Main Character Attempted Sexual Assault, Attempted Sexual Assault, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Victim Blaming

[fortunatefires]

Something I hate about booktok is that no matter how much time you spend trying to curate your feed you will always run into smut. I don't inherently have a problem with that but it's so present and all consuming within booktok that it's almost impossible to avoid. Also, the smut isn't even that good. I would be less annoyed if the smut was good.