#we know he wants to go to Stanford and i dan think of a bunch of reasons off the top of my head WHY that would be | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

codylabs · 7 years ago

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Chapter 12: Escape to the Hard Life

Links: P 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Wendy awoke.

Just outside her open window, she heard her brother running the lawn mower. Doing it early in the morning was just his way of reminding her that she had promised to mow the lawn. But since she’d procrastinated for so long, he got a bigger allowance for doing it instead.

Ugh. I forgot again. Rub my face in it, why don’t ya?

She didn’t even bother opening the drawer of her dresser, because all her clothes were lying on the floor where she’d left them in the past week. She’d meant to get the laundry done yesterday. And the day before that. But she always just said ‘I’ll to it tomorrow’. But then the tomorrows came and went, and the laundry never got done, and her plans always bumped on back to ‘tomorrow’ once again.

Ugh. I’ll do it tomorrow.

So she crawled out of bed and into her cleanest dirty shirt, and began to prepare for the day.

When she came out of her room ten minutes later, with a backpack full of gear and an armful of armor, her dad was reclining on the couch watching TV.

He wasn’t looking so great. Juan’s mom had scratched him in the shoulder, sawed him in the leg, and threw him against the side of the house. He was still hurting pretty badly, and simply couldn’t find a way to sit that didn’t tweak something somewhere.

But Daniel Corduroy was a very manly man; such mortal pains were trivial to beings like him. He didn’t complain or whine. He threw no fuss whatsoever. He just kept the bandages where they were, kept the ice against it, and watched TV like normal. WHAT’S A LITTLE PAIN? He thought. I’VE HAD WORSE. WAIT, MAYBE I HAVEN’T… OH, SHUT UP ME!

Wendy aimed for house’s front door, which meant walking directly between him and the TV. She expected her dad to mutter some annoyed remark at the interruption, like usual. But instead, he broke his eyes entirely away from the screen, reached for the remote, and turned it off. “HEY.” He said, and gave her his full attention.

She stopped walking, and turned to face him. “Hey.”

“DIDN’T SEE YOU YESTERDAY.” He grunted. “WHERE WERE YA?”

“Oh, just…” She glanced around, trying to think how to put it. “Well… We were looking around, trying to figure out where the killer robots came from. And… Well… Yeah.”

“FIND ANY ANSWERS?”

“…Yeah.”

“WHERE?”

“It’s… Uh…” She hesitated to say it. “…Kind of a need-to-know basis…”

“…YOU… WAIT… HUH? YOU’RE GONNA KEEP A SECRET FROM YOUR OWN FATHER?!?”

She glanced about nervously. “Well… I kind of have to. Just… Trust me, it’s for the greater good that it stays between as few people as possible… It’s… We said to keep it a secret. We promised… I promised to take some very… Very amazing and scary things to my grave… And I wouldn’t betray that.”

This made a bit of sense to him, but it still annoyed him. He frowned up at the ceiling for a few seconds, and took a deep breath to calm his great annoyance. “SO.” With a mighty and obvious effort, he moved on. “WHO’S ‘WE’?”

“Huh?”

“WHO DO YOU TRUST THAT MUCH? MORE THAN ME?”

“Uh… I… I do trust you dad, it’s just… Okay, uh… The Pines men… Uh… Stanley and Stanford. Remember them? Used to own the Mystery Shack…”

“A’COURSE.”

“And Dipper, their great-nephew… I was with him all of yesterday.”

Dan nodded. “OH YEAH. THE LESS-GIRLY ONE. TELL ME ABOUT HIM.”

“Huh?”

“… YOU’VE BEEN SPENDING A LOT OF TIME WITH THE KID. TELL ME ABOUT HIM.”

“He’s… Uh… He’s a good man.” She stated simply.

Dan pondered this for a moment. “…MAN?”

“That’s right.”

“…HE’S BUILT LIKE A GIRL HALF HIS AGE.”

“Oh yeah?” Wendy fished her brain for some great comeback. “Well… Eh.”

Dan considered this. It seemed wrong to him that of a pair of mixed twins, the smaller one would be the boy. And it seemed further wrong to him that said boy would be given such a share of respect and trust. It seemed even further wrong to him that the boy’s obvious shortcomings would be so consistently and totally overlooked… Dan didn’t want to think too hard about all this though, because he knew he was probably wrong… But still.

He looked back up at the ceiling and took another deep breath, while he endeavored to drag his mind back on-topic. “HOW MUCH LONGER IS THIS THING GONNA TAKE?”

“Like… Solving the mysteries of these robot things?”

“MAKING SURE THEY DON’T DO THIS NO MORE.” He pointed to his bandages. “HOW LONG ‘TILL YA BEAT ‘EM?”

She shrugged helplessly. “Like, I don’t know! This isn’t a war, dad! We don’t have an enemy that we can stand up to, it’s just a bunch of… Wild animals, we don’t even know how many! And this isn’t a job, either! I don’t have a schedule to keep or a wage to earn… I’ve put maybe 40 hours into this mess just this week, not including the time I spent recording in my diary or with you at the hospital. And we have NO idea how close we are to solving the mystery, and even LESS idea WHAT to do once we solve it…”

“40 HOURS THIS WEEK?” Dan frowned.

“Yeah.” Wendy grunted.

Dan considered this, and decided to remind her of her second priority. “YOU KNOW, YOU STILL NEED TO GET A JOB THIS SUMMER.”

Wendy closed her eyes. She had been meaning to forget that part for a while now. Her hands balled into fists within her pockets. “Yeah.” She grunted again. “I know.”

“HAVE YOU BEEN LOOKING FOR A JOB?”

“No.” She admitted, as politely as she could manage.

“YOU KNOW YOU SAID YOU WANTED A ‘GOOD’ JOB… THAT MEANS YOU NEED TO SET YOUR SIGHTS HIGH. YOU NEED A RESUME… YOU FINISHED THAT YET?”

“No.” She admitted.

Her dad frowned. “HAVE YOU EVEN BEEN WORKING ON IT?”

She took her balled fists out of her pockets. “No.” She admitted.

“…HAVE YOU STARTED IT?”

“No!” She spat.

This annoyed Dan even more. He stared up at the ceiling for a few more seconds, and breathed deeply again. He looked back at her again. “THIS IS YOUR LIFE, WENDY. YOUR GAS MONEY, YOUR DRIVER’S INSURANCE, YOUR CAR SOMEDAY, YOUR COLLEGE IF YOU WANT…”

“I know, but… There’s always stuff that… Look, it’ll GET done, dad! I’ll get a job. I will! Just…” She gestured to the armor she had in her hands, then to the door. “There’s other stuff to do…!”

“THERE ALWAYS IS! BUT IF YOU REALLY WANTED THAT JOB, YOU WOULDN’T JUST COME HOME AND WATCH TV LIKE YOU DO! YOU WOULD WORK FOR IT!”

“Yeah. Thanks. I will.” Wendy turned and made for the door.

“LOOK, I KNOW YOU DON’T WANT ME REMINDING YOU, AND I KNOW IT’S YOUR LIFE, BUT I CAN’T JUST SIT BY WHILE YOU BLOW IT!” He bellowed. “YOU’RE RUNNING AROUND CHASING GHOSTS, AND YOU THINK THAT LETS YOU GET OFF RESPONSIBILITIES! I CARE ABOUT YOU, WENDY! SOMETIMES IT SEEMS I CARE MORE THAN YOU!”

“Sure…” Wendy grunted, stepped out the front door, and slammed it shut behind her.

Ugh.

The job… Her dad expected her to have a job… It wasn’t a huge expectation, really. It was perfectly reasonable… It just happened to be the straw that broke the camel’s cool. She didn’t want to deal with this. She didn’t want to think about it. She wanted nothing more than to forget all about it. She was so… Very… Done.

She eased herself down onto the front step, pulled out her phone, and began to check through her recent messages.

-Nate found a way to make paint cans explode! Come to the football game tonight so we can totally terrorize it! -Lee

-Why aren’t you texting me? I thought you wanted to go out again! -Joe

-Free subscription to our weekly newsletter! Simply call 8005554592 with credit card information -$$Win Win Baby$$

-Robbie says he can give us a ride to the forest today. Ready to roll out at 10:00. -Dipper

-I still love you, btw. >3. -Joe

-Oops, I mean <3. -Joe

-Credit Union Fraud Center: Fuel tax $38.83 on card 6800 of your account. If valid reply YES, if fraud reply NO. To opt out reply STOP. -Credit Union Fraud Center

-3 people liked your status update.

-I understand the urgency of the matter. I’ll be at 412 Gopher Avenue on the 10th. -B.Blandin.

-I’M MOWNG THE LAN AND GETING YOUR ALLOWANS! NYEH! -Bro

-Your library book ‘Cryptids: Pseudo-Science or Reality?’ has been overdue as of 05/14/2012. Return by yesterday or pay the full buyout price. -Gravity Falls Library

-Did I mention I found a way to make paint cans explode? Instant graffiti! -Nate

She scrolled through the messages. The words entered through her eyes and into her subconscious, but they didn’t get much further than that, because she didn’t care what they said; not even a little.

This wasn’t important. This wasn’t relevant. This was just her friends, her family, and the whole of the rest of society, trying to get in at her. Trying to get a piece of her. Vying for her attention, her time, even her money… Everybody wanted a piece of Wendy, everybody was saying something different and confusing, and the only method she had to survive was to retreat: shut it out and ignore it.

She began to delete texts.

Only one really stuck out to her, and she kept it.

-Robbie says he can give us a ride to the forest today. Ready to roll out at 10:00. -Dipper

There it is.

The mission. The plan. The duty. The purpose. There was one thing at least which was tangible and real.

Here in this normal life, where everything was ordinary and routine, here was where reality was at its most confusing, most burdensome, most troubling and depressing. But in that other life, where everything was crazy and hectic, where so much good and evil hung in balance, that was where things started to fall into place. That was where she stopped being confused, and could finally stand tall enough to stop being lazy. She could forget her family, her ex-boyfriends, her responsibilities, her laundry… It freed her. This crazy life was the one place where she knew how to live.

That was the life she loved.

-Ready for pickup now. She texted Dipper back. -I’ve got my armor if you’ve got yours. See you in a bit.

Dipper tossed his backpack and armor into the back of Robbie’s van, where they clattered to a stop on top of Wendy’s. Dipper slammed the doors back shut, and made his way toward the front of the vehicle.

“So… Like, where is this place again?” Robbie was saying, as he pulled out his phone and opened the ‘maps’ program.

“Oh, you know, just… Back in the woods.” Wendy shrugged. “Uh… Head South on Befufftlefumpter Avenue, and I’ll let you know from there.”

“Oh… Okay.” Robbie put away his phone. When he noticed Dipper standing at the door, he gestured toward the back seat. “Hey, you can sit in the back, little man.”

The back seat was stuffed chock-full of edgy, gothic clothes, edgy, gothic skateboards, edgy gothic musical instruments, candy wrappers, and edgy, gothic candy wrappers. “Great.” Dipper grunted, and began shoveling the junk aside, just to make room to sit down. Robbie started the engine before he’d finished, and lurched down the road toward the forest.

From there, the trip passed in a boring sort of way. Up in the front seats, Wendy and Robbie chatted about the most recent death metal albums, arguing about whether the songs had lyrics or were just screaming, theorizing as to what those lyrics might be, gossiping about the personal lives of the band members, etcetera. Dipper tuned out after a few minutes of this, then opened his journal and looking back over the notes from their first visit.

The first time, they’d only made it into the metal forest about half a mile. Then the underbrush and accumulated malice of the sharp leaves got so painful that they couldn’t continue. This time however, Wendy’s improvised suits of armor should be able to get them as far as the needed; far enough to reach the alien coordinates.

‘Betty and Barney’ said they’d set up ‘fortifications’ there. With any luck at all, the place would hold some answers.

The pavement ended after about ten minutes of driving. The gravel ended about ten minutes after that, and then the van was bouncing and rocking its way along narrow, overgrown dirt roads, up into the hills and deeper into the unknown.

The road took one final bend toward the old logging areas, and here they instructed Robbie to stop. This was the closest such roads reached, so they’d have to continue on foot from here.

Dipper and Wendy hopped out of the van and circled around to the back, where they began to unpack their equipment, and suit up.

“Hey…” Wendy remarked. “Why’s there a third backpack in here?”

“Huh?” Dipper looked down at it. “I don’t know. I thought you put that here.”

“Nope.” Wendy reached over and picked it up. “Well, there’s nothing even in it except some old glitter…”

“Oh, okay… Wait, what?”

They were interrupted from their discussion by Robbie, who had followed them around to the back of them van. “Woah.” He blinked, as he regarded their armor. “Is all that really necessary?”

“Oh yeah.” Dipper told him.

“Eh.” Wendy shrugged as she pulled the leather gloves and composite gauntlets over her arms. “We’ll see. But it can’t hurt, right?”

“Uh… So… Look…” Robbie shrugged, and shoved his hands deeper into his pockets. “Like… You know that I wasn’t a chicken the last time you guys went out there. I actually did want to come.”

“I know.” Wendy hiked up her leggings, and tightened the belt. “But you were wearing flip-flops.”

“Well… Look. I’m wearing boots this time. And I’m still not chicken.” Robbie gestured down to his boots. “I, like… I heard what happened to your dad. I heard that this thing really hurt him. So… Like, that sucks. And I want to help. I want to do this. I do.”

Oh… Dipper realized. That third backpack must be his. He was planning to come along the whole time… What did Wendy have to say about this? He looked over at her.

Wendy lowered the shoulder pads into place, and cinched the straps up around her waist. She glanced sideways at Robbie. “You really want to risk life, limb, and skin out in a deep, dark forest where the leaves are literally thousands of knives?”

“Is that what this is?” One of Robbie’s eyes was completely obscured by his hair, but the other one got really wide. “Like, what kind of knives? Do they slash or just stab?”

“Umm… Yes.”

“Woah…” Robbie blinked. “That’s… Like… Hardcore.”

“And it’s what we’re dealing with.” Dipper told him. “Hence the utterly necessary armor.”

“Yeah.” Wendy threw the chainsaw chaps across her back, and buckled the legs around her wrists. “I mean… You can come if you want, but…”

“UH…?” Dipper looked up at her, wondering if she really meant that. Robbie was useless, right?

“Oh yeah? Hey, look!” Robbie slipped back toward the front of the van, and came back in a minute covered head-to-toe in ultra-edgy, ultra-gothic black leather. He was also holding his mom’s sawed-off shotgun. “I got this!” He told them.

Dipper snorted. “You look like a… Like… I don’t know, like Catwoman or something.”

“HEY!” Robbie snarled. “At least I don’t look like some junior-high flag-football-dropout superhero-wannabe!”

“Is that what this is?” Wendy tied her hair back to make way for the helmet. “I always fancied we were more of… Post-apocalyptic rhino-hunters.”

“Well… I mean… You look fine, Wendy, but this guy’s helmet is bigger than his torso!”

“You know what?” Dipper snapped. “Fine! I look ridiculous! I’ll admit it! But at least I AM going out there prepared. You just got all your stuff just now, and shotguns don’t even work on these things!”

Robbie turned toward him, and frowned. “You’ve got some MOUTH, don’t ya, ya snobby little pipsqueak?”

“Woah, dude.” Wendy was about to put on her helmet, but instead she set it down and put up her hands to ward off a potential fight. “Back off…”

“You know what? You think you’re so much better than me!” Robbie stepped past Wendy and shoved a finger in Dipper’s face. “You always have, and now it looks like you always will! Dipper’s the smartest! Dipper’s the bravest! Dipper’s the hero! Dipper’s the manliest little snot-nosed 12-year-old brat on the face of this whole stupid Earth! You think you’ve got it all together huh?”

“I’ve never said that or thought that!” Dipper took a step forward, and didn’t flinch even a little. “All I’m saying is that we can’t use you if you’re not prepared! You didn’t even pack anything in your backpack!”

“Dudes!” Wendy repeated. “Chill!”

“You just want to kiss me off again? Treat me like pointless trash, just like you always do?” Robbie said.

“Wouldn’t you, in my place? What AM I supposed to do with you?!?” Dipper lost his temper. “Robbie, the ONLY halfway-competent thing I’ve EVER seen you do is hypnotize Wendy!”

There was silence for a good minute.

Dipper thought through what he’d just said. He wished he hadn’t said it, but too late now. He closed his eyes, bit his lower lip, and balled his fists. Why can’t I ever just shut up?

Robbie took a step back, and his eyes fell to the ground.

Wendy didn’t say a word. She just donned her helmet, and turned away.

Robbie and Dipper looked at each other.

“Well.” Robbie finally grumbled. “I guess the winners write the history books, huh?” And then he turned away, went back around to the front of his van, and climbed in. The engine sputtered a few times before rolling over, and then the vehicle lurched to life, turned around on the narrow road, and started back down the hill.

Dipper and Wendy hiked in silence.

“Sorry.” Dipper finally said.

The word wasn’t half out of his mouth before Wendy interrupted him. “Dude. That’s what you say every single time that whole hypnosis thing comes up. You always just start apologizing! Well look, I forgave you! See? I’ll do it again: I forgive you. Just like the last, like, four times. So ease up already, okay?”

“Oh… Okay…”

“Only one thing: I forgave Robbie too. So don’t go dragging him back into this. We’ve all moved on. We’re all sorry. And nobody’s more sorry than him. Nobody wants to move on more than him.”

“Yeah… I guess… Sorry.”

“Yeah, I heard you the fifth time.”

“Sorry.”

“Sixth.”

“Yeah, yeah. Okay. I get it, I just… Yeah.”

“And look.” Wendy said. “Don’t get hung up on this sort of stuff, man. You’re sweating bullets over the distant past, when all you really need to do is chill out, calm down, and stick to what’s important.”

“But… Aren’t my friends… My relationships… You? Important too? Like, I mean… I’m just… I don’t know, I was a jerk to Robbie wasn’t I? I should apologize to him, huh?”

“Look dude, that’s none of my business. But you know what is my business?”

“What?”

“The one thing we’re both good at, dude. The mission. Tell me: how close are we to the metal forest?”

Dipper nodded. “Yeah.” He reached up underneath the armor’s chestpiece, where he’d put his map before setting out today.

It wasn’t there.

“Uh…” He checked his back pocket, his front pocket, and all the other little chinks in the armor. He could’ve sworn he left it in here somewhere… “Uh…” He repeated. “We should be pretty close… I guess… I mean, I must’ve forgot my map but we should know when we get there, right?”

“It’s kind of hard to tell, but if you pick individual trees and look real close…” Wendy picked up a rock, and pitched it at the trunk of a tree up ahead. The impact made a loud metallic ‘BONG’ sound. “You can tell them apart.”

“Huh.” Dipper squinted around at some of the other trees, and saw that they were standing right at the end of the organic forest. Past here, there was a few hundred feet of mingled growth, and then the full-metal started in quickly. “We should, like… Paint a line or something.” He suggested.

“Yeah…” Wendy pulled out a rattle can of paint, and drew a long red stripe on the side of the nearest tree. Then she dabbed her finger in some of the excess paint, and wrote the words ‘DANGER, KILLER ROBOTS BEYOND THIS POINT’ above the line. “There we go… Ooh, wait. In case anybody’s coming the other direction…” She swung around to the other side of the tree, and wrote ‘YOU MADE IT OUT ALIVE. YOU DA BOSS’.

“Great.” Dipper nodded. “Now… Ugh, oh man… I forgot my map. How we gonna find the coordinates?”

“We’ll just find it with our razor-sharp senses, willy intellects, and cunning instincts.” Wendy promised, with utter confidence.

“Uh… Does that work?” Dipper frowned.

“HECK no.” Wendy pulled out her own map. “We’ll just use mine. Where’d you say it was?” She pointed to a point on the map. “Here?”

“Yep… So… That way.” He pointed to the South-East.

“That way.” She confirmed, and started into the trees.

And so they continued. They passed through the forest’s outer regions, where the trees were further apart and the air was clear. They reached a small creek; the same on from their first visit. But this time they didn’t follow it; they crossed straight through, and continued on without stopping. Their destination lay beyond.

A few minutes later, the forest grew thicker and became immersive; the air smelled like iron filings and odd chemicals, normal moss and grass had disappeared entirely, and the clicking and buzzing of wildlife replaced the ordinary birds. Indeed, the whole world seemed ever-so-slightly colder and greyer. This place was alien in every way.

Their armor really started to prove itself. Their ears began to fill with clattering, scraping and tapping, as the razor-sharp branches and leaves assailed them and bounced off. Blow after blow was warded off by the armor plates, and more and more nicks and dings and scratches and abrasions appeared in the surface. But each mar was only surface deep; none of the blades were getting more than a few millimeters into the plastic, as their branches simply weren’t stiff enough to push them deeper.

Working wonderfully.

But this constant barrage wasn’t the hardest part of the journey. The ground beneath their feet was becoming… Strange. It wasn’t a flat surface anymore, or even what passed for ‘flat’ in normal forests. This was uneven; rough; chaotic. Every available surface was either a root, a branch, or some ancient deadfall. The heaping masses of living and dead metal rose and fell in miniature hills and valleys below them, entwining with itself, and hiding all else, even the dirt and the rocks. The ecosystem had consumed the very landscape.

There came to a point where a thicket of trees and bushes formed a sort of short cliff, and the only way to walk through was to climb a few feet up a tree, do some tricky footwork across the bows, and descend the other side. Wendy climbed up ahead of Dipper, wrapped an arm around a higher branch, and extended her other down to him. They gripped each other’s wrists, and she hauled him up beside her.

“Ugh.” Dipper said. “Why’s everything getting so… Like… I mean, where’s the ground?”

“If I had to guess…” Wendy looked around. “I’d say the actual ground is about 5 or 10 feet below the roots and logs we’re walking on. But just, like… When the old trees topple over, new trees use their remains for food, and grow right in the same place. And then those new trees-on-trees fall over too, and more grow on top of them, yadda yadda, right? …So over the years…” She steadied herself against the trunk, and jumped across a short gap. “It just stacks on top of itself.”

“Uh… That makes sense…” Dipper made the same jump right behind her, and would have lost his balance if she hadn’t caught him. “Why don’t normal forests do that, then?”

Wendy shrugged. “Normal forests do that too. Especially the old-growth forests, where my dad takes us hiking… That’s how I know.”

“Yeah, but… So why is this place such a tangled, deep mess? Normal forests are usually pretty flat.”

“I dunno… It’s probably because there’s no forest fires around here. In normal forests, a big ‘ol fire washes through about every 50 years, and cleans up all the deadfalls.”

“Huh�� Yeah… And it might be because rain and water doesn’t dissolve or wash the rotten chemicals away.” Dipper theorized. “Everything is… Everything’s all solid. Normal life is based on liquid water, so things kind of… Rot away easier. But here, it’s all frozen in place. Static.”

“Ooh, that’s a good theory.”

Wendy reached a place where they could descend out of the tree, and back down to the ‘ground’. So she took a jump, aiming for a patch of grass. But when she landed on it, it gave way beneath her with a loud snap and creak. She lost control of her descent, and began falling further than intended.

“Wendy!” Dipper yelped.

But she didn’t fall far; only up to her armpits.

“Agh! DANG it!” She winced, as she tried to get her elbows under her. “Ow.”

Dipper descended more carefully, ran up to her, and offered his hand. “Are you okay?!? Did… Like… Did anything stab… Uh…”

“Ugh…” She took his hand, and pulled herself out of the hole. “Oh, ow, that’s gonna leave a bruise. Take note: this is all very hard. It hurts to land on.”

“Yeah… Are you okay though?”

“Uh… Yeah. I’m fine… I’m not skewered like a pig, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“Err… Yeah… Okay.”

Wendy looked back down at the hole. The grassy landing pad had been growing in a gap between two fallen logs. When she’d hit it, the impact had knocked the smaller vegetation loose, leaving a sort of tunnel. Down in the gap, they heard something alive move about, then clatter away from them, off through the ground.

“So…” Dipper frowned. “If the forest is made of a whole bunch of stacked logs, are there tunnels and gaps all through it then? Like, I’m sure this isn’t the only place where the grass is loose.”

“Yeah… It’s like… Like a ‘Super Plumber Bros.’ game.” Wendy said. “We have to hop and jump between platforms, because there’s pits and spikes and crumbly parts everywhere below you.”

“It’s kind of scarier when it’s not in a video game.” Dipper noted.

They stood staring for a minute.

“So…” Wendy said. “Are we gonna go down there, or what?”

“Uh… Well, did you see anything cool down there?”

“Uh…” She reached back into the hole, and came up holding some fat, round plants. “Nothing but some… What are these? Fruit? Mushrooms? I don’t know. But they were down there.”

“Heh. Okay.”

She shoved them in her backpack, and they continued onwards above ground. High in the treetops above them, a small herd of five-armed ‘monkeys’ glance down with curiosity. Dipper waved up in a friendly way, but the harmless little animals didn’t respond. Instead, they just went back to cutting up and eating little bits off the tree branches.

After a while, they sat down beside a log to rest for a minute. Dipper reached into his backpack and pulled out his walkie-talkie. Ford had been kind of nervous about them going in alone, so it would be good to let him know everything’s all right. Hoping the signal would reach, he pushed the radio’s button and began to speak. “Hey Ford, just calling to let you know we’re all—”

As soon as the radio signal left the device, the forest leapt to life around them, and the teens realized that they’d accidentally wandered directly into the center of a large herd of pony-sized robot creatures.

Dipper hadn’t even noticed them ahead of time. Their spiny backs and long heads were colored and textured in an identical brown/grey to the rest of the trees, and the solar panel arrays on their tails looked a lot like those of the living bushes.

Nearly perfect camouflage. Perfect for sneaking up on people and attacking.

But they didn’t attack. If anything, they seemed as confused and startled as Dipper and Wendy were. Most of them stood in place with their antennae out, scanning side to side. The others watched the scanning ones, unsure if they should be panicked or not.

Dipper could see that no attack was forthcoming, but he didn’t want to provoke them anyway, so he turned his walkie-talkie off entirely, and returned it to his backpack.

One nearby creature seemed to notice them visually. It turned toward them, and approached until it was about 10 feet away. The teens stood up slowly, ready to fight or run if it did anything aggressive. Dipper wasn’t sure if they were in danger, however. Unlike the robot lion, which was sharp and hooked all over, this creature appeared entirely unarmed. It had no saws in its mouth, just a set of clamp-like jaws. Even its feet lacked claws; the fingers were short and stubby, almost like hooves.

Dipper supposed it could try to ram them with its gigantic, long head, but other than that it appeared perfectly harmless.

“So…” Wendy said. “It’s a herbivore, or what?”

“Well, it doesn’t have saws… Yeah, I think it’s harmless.” Dipper took out a disposable camera, covered up the light to prevent startling it with a flash, and began snapping pictures.

Wendy remembered the ‘fruit’ in her backpack. “Uh… Hey big guy… You want this?” She pulled out the food, and held it out to the creature. It shied away at first, then its antennae perked up, and it took a few steps closer. “Okay.” Wendy said. “Yeah. Herbivore.”

“It’s just, like, a robot deer or something.” Dipper said, and took another picture as it got close.

Then the creature opened its mouth. There was another mouth inside its mouth, and this second system shot outward about two feet and snagged the food out of Wendy’s hand.

“AGH!” Dipper yelped.

“Woah!” Wendy jerked her hand back.

The robot held the fruit in its first set of jaws, and began to grind at it with a drill bit in its second. When it was through, it took another step toward them, as if asking for more.

“Okay…” Wendy said. “Yeah. Still a robot deer… It just…”

“It has a head that looks like a Xenomorph.” Dipper observed, and took another picture.

“Yeah.”

“Nothing wrong with that.”

“No.”

“Just kind of weird.”

“Yeah.”

“Kind of freaky.”

“Yeah.”

It took another step towards them. “No.” Wendy said, as the deer/xenomorph thing got closer. “NO. Nothing more. No more fruit or stuff. Go away.”

It extended its second mouth again, and turned to Dipper. Okay. He thought, suddenly nervous. Its head is 4 feet long. That means its mouth can pop out 4 feet. Which means it can probably reach me from here… And it can definitely reach my…

The mouth shot out again, aiming for Dipper’s camera. He jerked it out of the way as fast as he could, and the deer’s drills did nothing but nick the chest of his armor.

“Hey.” Wendy stepped forward. “Shoo. Come on dude, shoo. Shoo. No more food. Take your weird long drill head, and take it way out of here. Go on, git.” She put a hand on top of its head, and pushed it away. It shook her hand off, and took another step inward.

“HEY!” Wendy yelled at it. “SHOO!”

It didn’t have ears, so the yelling was slightly less than effective.

“Yo.” Dipper brought his gauntlet down on top of its head. Not quite a punch, but almost. “Shoo!”

Its body was very hard and tough, so a measly half-punch wasn’t all that effective either. It turned toward him.

“Okay, look stupid thing.” Wendy said. “I’m like, up to here with your crap right now. Why don’t you…”

Just then, her words were cut off by a sudden noise, coming from the North; a clattering, and banging. The robot deer froze, extended its antennae all the way, and looked off in that same direction. All the other deer in the forest did similar.

The noise changed to a grinding, abrasive noise; the sound of saws.

All the deer tucked their long heads down close to their bodies, fanned out their solar panels like warning flags, and sprinted off through the trees to the south. In a matter of seconds, they were gone, and all that remained was some flattened grass, and some pictures on the camera.

Dipper and Wendy turned toward the sound of the noise, and crouched down behind a tree trunk. “You think that’s…?”

Wendy nodded. “Dude, I bet it IS! Let’s go see!”

They carefully began to crawl their way through the trees, staying behind logs and bushes whenever possible.

The finally stopped about 30 feet from the sound, and made themselves as hidden as possible.

“Magnet guns.” Wendy told him.

They both drew their weapons. (Not to use, just to have.) Dipper drew his camera as well.

And then they peaked over.

A deer robot lay on the forest floor, mangled and broken. Two full-grown lion-bots stood over it, digging into its torso with their massive saws. Sparks, debris, metal shavings, and bits of oil flew all over the place, as the deer’s motors, batteries, and functional parts slowly but surely disappeared into its killers.

The lions were pleasantly ignoring the humans for the moment, so they got comfortable and kept watching. Dipper lined up his camera, and began snapping pictures, while Wendy took a good look at the creatures themselves.

One was Juan’s mom. It had the damage that her dad had given it in the fight, as well as the ‘mom parts’ that Mabel had first pointed out.

The other was ‘male’, judging by the lack of these same parts. The male was slightly bigger, with a slightly shorter torso, longer antennae, and lighter coloring.

But curiously, although they’d never even seen this male before, it still had some damage; damage they didn’t give it. The plating on its right side was dented and twisted by a big, burned crater, partially exposing the hydraulics beneath. As if somebody had hit him with a grenade or a flamethrower or a… Laser blaster or something.

“Hey.” Wendy whispered.

“What?” Dipper looked over at her.

Wendy pointed to the blast mark, and shrugged. “Eh?”

“Uh…” Dipper frowned at it, and then shrugged. “Maybe there’s creatures out here with built-in ray guns?”

“…We should look out for that.”

“Yeah.”

And then Dipper’s phone rang.

Ford nervously drummed the six fingers of his hand against the table, while he waited for his great-nephew to pick up. What’s taking so long? Dipper’s usually pretty punctual about answering…

“Hey!” Stan called from the next room. “Did you ask Dipper yet?”

“Trying now!” Ford covered up the speaker and hollered back. “Just calm down Stan; it’s probably no big deal…”

“But it could be a big deal!” Stan reminded him. “You need to get a hold of him!”

“But he’s not picking up! He’s—”

Ford suddenly remembered just where Dipper was: an alien forest where the dangerous creatures heard and smelled through radio and electrical signals. Wait a minute, why is his phone even on at all? Ford wondered. If Dipper had any sense at all, he would have shut it off entirely. If anybody called him, the signals it shared with the cell tower could give away his position… Oh well. He must have just forgotten.

WAIT A MINUTE! Ford frowned as a new thought entered his mind. I just called him! Oh dear… I might have actually have put him danger, just by doing that… Oh my…

Ford was about to hang up, when suddenly Dipper’s voice sounded over the speaker. “HEYGREATUNCLEFORD THISREALLYISNTHEBESTTIME COULDICALLYOUBACK?”

“Dipper! I’m glad you’re all right! Listen, this is fairly imp—”

“NOTTHEBESTTIME!” Dipper repeated. “WENDY! HIDE DOWN THERE! I’LL FOLLOW YOU! GO GO GO!”

He heard the sound of a magnet gun discharge over the line. And in the background, was that the sound of saws?

“I’ll make it fast!” Ford promised. “Dipper, have you—”

Dipper hung up.

“Have you seen…” Ford looked at the phone for a second. He really had just hung up. He must actually have been in trouble… Ford closed the phone and slipped it back into his pocket. In the parlor’s new silence, he finished his sentence quietly to himself. “…Have you seen Mabel…”

A few hours earlier, Robbie’s head bounced side to side as his van rolled its bumpy way back down the roads, leaving Dipper and Wendy at the end of the trail at the top.

As he drove, a great many dark and edgy thoughts were going through his mind. Dipper is such a jerk… I could beat him in a fight… I wish I had… He just cheated… Wendy and I could have made it work… I didn’t mean to hypnotize her… Well, kind of… Well I only half meant to… Has Wendy ever forgiven me…? And what’s with those two now? They’re doing all this stuff together alone, and Dipper got rid of me today just because I’m intruding on their ‘alone time’... If they didn’t mean for me to come along, why would they throw in a 3rd empty backpack?

Wait a minute, they said it wasn’t theirs… Who packed it then? And why would they pack nothing but some glitter?

“Hold on.” Robbie mumbled, as he glanced over his shoulder.

To his surprise, he didn’t see the back of his van. He saw a young girl’s face, about 2 inches from his.

“HELLO!” She announced, more than loud enough.

“Ah geez there’s a kid in here!!” The van almost crashed into a tree as he stomped into the brake pedal. When the vehicle was safely back under control and stationary, he turned back to address his stowaway. “What the heck? Why are you here?!?” He asked. His brain worked through this new development. “You stowed yourself away in a backpack…? Wait, that doesn’t even make any sense! How did you load it into the van while you were still inside it?” He demanded.

What’s her name again? He racked his brain. I don’t quite remember, she’s just kind of the ‘Girly Dipper’ that set me up for a date one time… Well, I hate Dipper but I like girls, so… I don’t know…

“Oh, pshaw! You crack me up sometimes!” Girly Dipper rolled her eyes upwards as she leaned one cheek into her elbow with a mysterious grin. “Sneaking myself past the closed and locked doors from inside a backpack… That was the easy part! The hard part was fitting a pig in there too!” She produced a full-grown pig, which promptly emitted a loud snort.

“AGH! PIG IN MY VAN!” Robbie tried to stand up, and bumped his hair on the ceiling.

“And if you’re wondering how I did that… Well.” Girl Dipper smiled again. “You should really check out my YouTube video: ‘Mabel’s Guide to Showing Up in unexpected times and Places’.”

“Uh…”

“Yeah! It’s super informative! And a masterpiece, if I do say so myself. A true classic.”

“Okay…” Robbie sat back down hesitantly.

“So… Riddle me this, my gnarly old friend.” She abruptly changed the subject. “I guess Dipper and Wendy don’t want you going on their thing, huh?”

“Uhh…” Robbie squirmed rebelliously. “I didn’t even… Like… Wanna go on their stupid thing anyway. If I wanted to roll around in knives all day I would’ve just ransacked my dad’s morgue…”

“Well… If you don’t want to do that, how would you feel about helping me collect stuff?” She reached into her sweater and pulled out a map, scrawled all over Dipper’s handwriting. “Not as much danger, but the work is more important. And we’ll make lots of new robot friends!”

“Huh?”

“See, sometimes I don’t think Dipper trusts me.” The girl admitted with a shrug. “Maybe he’s right not to… Sometimes. ‘Cause we all do silly stuff that’s not very smart… But… But this time, I think he’s wrong. ‘Cause see, he wants to, like, kill the robot creatures and stuff like that… And I don’t think that’s really all super ethical or whatever. So I… I have another mission. A happier, funner mission… So what do you say, Mr. Buddy-Pal-Chum-Friend-Pal?” She gave him a gentle little punch on the shoulder. “Would you consider being my dark, edgy chauffeur/bodyguard for a day?”

“Uh…” Robbie frowned. “Uh… I guess…?”

“Awesome!” She squealed.

“SQUEE!” The pig squealed.

The girl then reached over Robbie’s shoulder, and put the van in ‘park’. “Let’s go do this thing!!”

#The Forest Of Daggers #Gravity Falls #wendy corduroy #dipper pines #shapeshifter #see you next summer #wendip #wendipweek #wendy x dipper #fanfiction #fanart #scifi #alien #robot #ghost

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sylveondreams · 8 years ago

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you got any fics over 20k that are 100% realistic (not magic au, etc)? thanks

i only know two reality fics that are that long, but i do have a bunch of realistic aus that long, is that okay? (under the readmore)

because we are fools (20k) - He realizes it calmly at first, and then suddenly with more clarity. He’s in love with Phil. But he absolutely cannot be in love with Phil.

Twenty-Five Things (22k) - A present Dan receives for his twenty-fifth birthday causes him to relive twenty-five key, happy moments in his life. (or, twenty-five individual oneshots in honour of Dan’s twenty-fifth birthday!!)

this would’ve taken a lot shorter but i accidentally closed tumblr and it deleted the whole thing. i might have cried a little bit.

but home is just a room (full of my safest sounds) (22k) - In which things fall apart, and then back together. Or, the one where they break up in 2012 and stumble across each other three years later. Featuring Dan as a radio show host and BBC presenter, and Phil as a weatherman on the Isle of Man.

details of an asteroid (89k) - “If you think about it, aliens probably believe in us, too. We’ve got our own intergalactic cheerleaders.” When Dan and Phil keep bumping into each other, they eventually give in to chance and start talking. Soon enough, Dan makes a home at the library Phil works at, and they talk about nothing and everything so often that there is no going back. The two survive the future just fine, until they learn the flaws of leaning the weight of your existence on someone else’s shoulders.

Fool’s Gold (53k) - Fashion designer, or rather fashion student, Dan Howell has just moved to NYC and meets Phil Lester, an aspiring advertising major. Success seems like an easy task but will Dan’s ambition and trips to the other side of the world interrupt his life too much?

I Dare You to Love Me (29k) - AU! Dan owns a popular flower shop and has more of a passion for flowers than he does for people. That is, until Phil stumbles into his shop - and consequently into his life as the two develop a fast friendship and Dan finds himself all but infatuated with him. But there’s a problem: Phil’s engaged and Dan is the florist for his wedding. And even more complications arise when Phil begins questioning everything he’s ever known about love - and himself - when he realizes that the path to true love isn’t always… straight.

If You Think You Know Me (33k) - Fiction. Phil’s a police Sergeant. He’s been itching to get promoted to Inspector for ages, but to do so, he needs to crack his biggest case - famed internet hacker the Howler. Phil’s been after him for years, but he’d never managed to get even a hint towards his identity. When he meets a hot stranger in a bar one night, Phil thinks his luck might just be turning up. But maybe getting close to this particular stranger isn’t the best idea.

In My Way (111k and still going) - Daniel Howell is 21 and Britain’s newest star. He’s just been cast in the much-anticipated film adaption of Last Man Standing, the popular teen fantasy novel with a huge fanbase hanging off his every tweet. In other words, Dan has made it big. Phil Lester couldn’t care less. He’s a stressed out PHD student working part time at a bookshop while he struggles to get into post-production. He’s 26 and still lives in a tiny flat on the fifth floor of a building with a lift more broken than it is in use. He loves books, but he thinks big film adaptions screw with the plot too much. Needless to say, Phil is less than impressed when Last Man Standing is getting filmed in his hometown. And he certainly doesn’t want anything to do with obnoxious, arrogant, so irritatingly perfect leading actor Daniel Howell.

Just the Beat of My Own Heart (22k) - Dan and Phil are rivals in every sense of the word. The problem is that they’re already madly in love. Or, where Dan and Phil fall in love on tumblr, unaware that the person they’re talking to online is the person they hate in real life. A “You’ve Got Mail” AU.

Sidetracked (87k) - Dan and Phil are both contestants on ‘The Bachelorette’, but fall in love with each other instead of the girl.

Stirring In Love (72k) - When Phil applied to be a contestant on the Great British Bake Off he didn’t even expect to make the long-list, let alone make it into the actual tent. But make it he does and there he meets Dan, a baker unlike Phil in every possible way. After a rocky start, Phil realises that maybe he can learn some things from Dan after all, and the biggest things have nothing to do with baking.

syzygy (66k) - YOUNG MAN KILLED IN OWN HOME. Toby Stanford, 25, was found dead in his home this morning. Police have confirmed the case as a homicide. A cause of death has not been disclosed. The prime suspect is a young adult male, Caucasian, seen exiting the premises in the early hours of this morning. The Metropolitan Police urge members of the public with any information concerning this case to come forward.

#anonymous #ask #mine #fanfiction

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lindyhunt · 7 years ago

Text

The 23 Best Motivational Speeches of All Time

It was halftime during one of my 7th-grade football games. And we were losing 14 - 0. With our knees planted in the grass, my team was quietly huddled, drenched in sweat and defeat. We all knew the game was over.

That’s when our assistant coach bursted through our circle and shattered our pity party, delivering one of the best motivational speeches I’ve heard to this day.

I can’t directly quote him because he said some things that are inappropriate for a blog post (and, in hindsight, probably for a bunch of 13-year-olds too). But the point is, he harnessed the power of words to rejuvenate a physically and emotionally drained team. And we came back clawing to win the game.

Just like in sports, being motivated at work is crucial for your performance. This rings especially true when you have a looming deadline, an important meeting, or colleagues or customers depending on your performance.

To help you stay motivated, no matter what your job throws at you, we decided to compile 23 of the best motivational speeches from business, sports, entertainment, and more. If you want to get fired up for a project, watch these videos.

Trust me, I was wiping my eyes after I saw them. And while the messages vary from speech to speech, they will put you in the optimal frame of mind for tackling and crushing your next big challenge.

(Disclaimer: Some speeches -- *cough* Al Pacino *cough* -- may contain NSFW language.)

Best Motivational Speeches

J.K. Rowling: “The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination” (2008)

David Foster Wallace: "This Is Water" (2005)

Fearless Motivation: "It's Not Easy, But It's Worth It" (2018)

Jim Carrey: Commencement Speech at Maharishi University of Management (2014)

Brené Brown: "The Power of Vulnerability" (2013)

Steve Jobs: "How to Live Before You Die" (2005)

Ellen DeGeneres: Tulane University Commencement Speech (2009)

Sheryl Sandberg: Harvard Business School Class Day Speech (2012)

Dan Pink: "The Puzzle of Motivation" (2009)

Denzel Washington: "Fall Forward" (2011)

Elizabeth Gilbert: "Your Elusive Creative Genius" (2009)

Charlie Day: Merrimack College Commencement Speech (2014)

Orlando Scampington: "The Pillars of C.L.A.M." (2015)

Vera Jones: “But the Blind Can Lead the Blind…” (2016)

Jim Valvano: ESPY Speech (1993)

Kal Penn: DePauw University Commencement Speech (2014)

Charles Dutton: Speech from Rudy (1993)

William Wallace: Speech From the Battle of Stirling Bridge (1297)

Al Pacino: "Inch by Inch" (1999)

Sylvester Stallone: Speech from Rocky Balboa (2006)

Frank Oz/Yoda: Speech from The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

Will Smith: Speech from The Pursuit of Happyness (2006)

Kurt Russell: “This is Your Time” (2004)

The Best Motivational Speeches of All Time

1. J.K. Rowling: “The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination” (2008)

Theme of Speech: Failure

In J.K. Rowling's 2008 Harvard commencement speech, the Harry Potter author explored how two phenomena -- failure and imagination -- can be crucial to success. While failure can help you understand where your true passion lies, and where you should focus your energy moving forward, imagination is what will allow you to empathize with other people so you can use your influence to do good.

We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better."

2. David Foster Wallace: "This Is Water" (2005)

Theme of Speech: Life and Career

From the opening minutes of David Foster Wallace's 2005 Kenyon College commencement speech, in which he questions commencement speech conventions, it's clear that Wallace has some serious wisdom to share. The crux of his speech: Many of us are oblivious to our own close-mindedness. We picture ourselves as the centers of our own, individual universes, instead of seeing the bigger, more interconnected picture.

If you're automatically sure that you know what reality is and who and what is really important, if you want to operate on your default setting, then you, like me, probably won't consider possibilities that aren't annoying and miserable. But if you've really learned how to think, how to pay attention, then you'll know you have other options. It will actually be within your power to experience a crowded, hot, slow, consumer hell-type situation as not only meaningful, but sacred -- on fire with the same force that lit the stars: love, fellowship, the mystical oneness of all things deep down."

3. Fearless Motivation: "It's Not Easy, But It's Worth It" (2018)

Theme of Speech: Perseverance

youtube

Fearless Motivation is primarily a musical artist, but its library of inspirational messages is hard to ignore lately. The group's most popular speech is the video above, and it preaches a powerful lesson about staying positive when things all seem to be negative. The final line is as powerful as the quote from the speech below -- "Keep going. Your future self is begging you."

It’s easy to be positive when everything is working out. It’s much harder, much much harder when nothing is working out. But that’s when we need it the most ... Everything is worth the prize."

4. Jim Carrey: Commencement Speech at Maharishi University of Management (2014)

Theme of Speech: Taking Risks

youtube

Jim Carrey might make a living as the goofiest comedian around, but in 2014, he combined classic Carrey humor with unforgettable insight at Maharishi University of Management's graduation ceremony. Jim Carrey opened his speech dishing punchlines, but he eventually opened up about his upbringing and the role fear plays in our lives. You can actually hear the amazement in the students' reactions in the video above.

"I learned many great lessons from my father -- not the least of which is that you can fail at what you don't want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love."

5. Brené Brown: "The Power of Vulnerability" (2013)

Theme of Speech: Failure

The video above is an animated excerpt from researcher Brené Brown's speech, "The Power of Vulnerability." In the speech, Brown explores how our fear of not being good enough (among other fears) drives us to shield ourselves from our own vulnerabilities. The alternative to wearing this emotional suit of armor: Embrace vulnerability through empathizing with others.

Empathy is a choice, and it's a vulnerable choice. Because in order to connect with you, I have to connect with something in myself that knows that feeling. "

6. Steve Jobs: "How to Live Before You Die" (2005)

Theme of Speech: Life and Career

Considering the YouTube video of Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford commencement speech has 24 million views (not counting the 10 million+ additional views from duplicate uploads), it's likely that you've seen this one already. In the speech, Jobs plays on two themes: connecting the dots (anecdote: how taking a calligraphy class helped inspire the design of the Mac) and love & loss (anecdote: how getting fired from Apple helped inspire his greatest innovations). Perhaps the most memorable part his speech comes at the end, when he quotes the (now-famous) lines from the final issue of his favorite publication, The Whole Earth Catalog:

Stay hungry. Stay foolish."

7. Ellen DeGeneres: Tulane University Commencement Speech (2009)

Theme of Speech: Life and Career

Ellen's speech, as you might expect, has its humorous moments. But it also explores some of the very personal and tragic episodes in her life that helped push her into comedy in the first place. Two key themes of DeGeneres'speech: overcoming adversity and being true to yourself. ForDeGeneres, that meant pushing onward with her career after her sitcom was canceled in response to her publicly coming out as gay.

Really, when I look back on it, I wouldn’t change a thing. I mean, it was so important for me to lose everything because I found out what the most important thing is ... to be true to yourself. Ultimately, that’s what’s gotten me to this place. I don’t live in fear. I’m free. I have no secrets and I know I’ll always be OK, because no matter what, I know who I am."

8. Sheryl Sandberg: Harvard Business School Class Day Speech (2012)

Theme of Speech: Life and Career

In her speech to the HBS class of 2012, Lean In author and tech executive Sheryl Sandberg deconstructed the idea of the "career as a ladder." For Sandberg, a career is about finding opportunities where you can make an impact, not about chasing titles and planning out a meticulous path. "If I had mapped out my career when I was sitting where you are, I would have missed my career," she commented. What's more, Sandberg eschews the traditional wisdom of keeping emotions out of the workplace. For Sandberg, you need to care not only about what you're working on, but also who you're working with. 

"If you want to win hearts and minds, you have to lead with your heart as well as your mind. I don’t believe we have a professional self from Mondays through Fridays and a real self for the rest of the time ... It is all professional and it is all personal, all at the very same time."

9. Dan Pink: "The Puzzle of Motivation" (2009)

Theme of Speech: Life and Career

Commissions, bonuses, other incentives ... in the business world, these are the things that motivate people, right? According to Dan Pink in his 2009 TED Talk, such extrinsic motivators (a.k.a. "carrots and sticks") could actually be doing more harm than good. The most recent sociological research suggests that the real key to producing better work is to find intrinsic motivation inside of yourself.

There is a mismatch between what science knows and what business does. And what worries me, as we stand here in the rubble of the economic collapse, is that too many organizations are making their decisions, their policies about talent and people, based on assumptions that are outdated, unexamined, and rooted more in folklore than in science."

10. Denzel Washington: "Fall Forward" (2011)

Theme of Speech: Failure

In his 2011 UPenn commencement speech, Denzel Washington highlighted three reasons why we need to embrace failure in order to be successful. First, everybody will fail at something at some point, so you better get used to it. Second, if you never fail, take that as a sign that you're not really trying. And third, at the end of the day, failure will help you figure out what path you want to be on.

Fall forward. Here’s what I mean: Reggie Jackson struck out twenty-six-hundred times in his career -- the most in the history of baseball. But you don’t hear about the strikeouts. People remember the home runs. Fall forward. Thomas Edison conducted 1,000 failed experiments. Did you know that? I didn’t know that—because #1,001 was the light bulb. Fall forward. Every failed experiment is one step closer to success."

11. Elizabeth Gilbert: "Your Elusive Creative Genius" (2009)

Theme of Speech: Life and Career

Following the extraordinary success of her book, Eat, Pray, Love, people began asking author Elizabeth Gilbert the same question over and over and over: How are you going to top that? In her 2009 TED Talk, Gilbert explores that question while also examining how our ideas of genius and creativity have shifted over the generations. While once seen as separate entities or states of being that anyone could tap into, genius and creativity have increasingly become associated with individuals. And according to Gilbert, that shift has been putting more and more pressure on artists, writers, and other creatives to produce great work.

I think that allowing somebody, one mere person to believe that he or she is like, the vessel, you know, like the font and the essence and the source of all divine, creative, unknowable, eternal mystery is just a smidge too much responsibility to put on one fragile, human psyche. It's like asking somebody to swallow the sun. It just completely warps and distorts egos, and it creates all these unmanageable expectations about performance. And I think the pressure of that has been killing off our artists for the last 500 years."

12. Charlie Day: Merrimack College Commencement Speech (2014)

Theme of Speech: Taking Risks

Best known for his role in the sitcom It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, actor Charlie Day had lots of wisdom to share during the 2014 commencement speech at his alma mater, Merrimack College. Day explained to the audience how college degrees are inherently valueless, since you can't trade them in for cash. Instead, it's you, your hard work, and the risks you take that provide real value in life.

You cannot let a fear of failure or a fear of comparison or a fear of judgment stop you from doing the things that will make you great. You cannot succeed without the risk of failure. You cannot have a voice without the risk of criticism. You cannot love without the risk of loss. You must take these risks."

13. Orlando Scampington: "The Pillars of C.L.A.M." (2015)

Theme of Speech: Life and Career

Sometimes humor is the best motivator. So here's an INBOUND Bold Talk from self-proclaimed author, thought leader, dreamer, cat owner, visionary, and "believer in unlimited human potential," Orlando Scampington. As you'll soon realize upon reading the quote below, it's hard to explain what his speech is actually about -- so I think it's better that you just dive in and enjoy.

"Culture is the bitter drunken coachmen lashing motivation into the ungrateful workhorses, so they drag the wagon of growth down the road of success. I think that's a very apt analogy."

14. Vera Jones: “But the Blind Can Lead the Blind…” (2016)

Theme of Speech: Perseverance

Last year at INBOUND, Vera Jones told a moving story about the life lessons she’s learned from raising her blind son. She explains how having faith in your future and letting it lead you toward your true purpose will help you overcome blinding obstacles. She also discusses how following your passion and trusting your vision develops empathy, which is a critical leadership skill.

“Passionately play your position no matter how bad things get. You are significant. Why we are here is not for our own glory. Ultimately, we’re here to lead and serve everybody else. By doing that, we encourage others to do the same.”

15. Jim Valvano: ESPY Speech (1993)

Theme of Speech: Life and Career

Less than two months before he lost his battle to cancer, Jim Valvano delivered one of the most impactful and timeless speeches about living life to the fullest. My words can’t do it justice, so be prepared for some laughter, tears, and thought.

“I just got one last thing; I urge all of you, all of you, to enjoy your life, the precious moments you have. To spend each day with some laughter and some thought, to get your emotions going. To be enthusiastic every day, and Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Nothing great could be accomplished without enthusiasm,” to keep your dreams alive in spite of problems whatever you have. The ability to be able to work hard for your dreams to come true, to become a reality.”

16. Kal Penn: DePauw University Commencement Speech (2014)

Theme of Speech: Life and Career

In 2014, Kal Penn delivered an uplifting speech that DePauw University will never forget. He advised graduates to strive for success but to not let it loosen their grip on the things that actually matter, like staying connected with loved ones, being adventurous, and acting selflessly. He also comforted millennials everywhere, convincing them that their futures are full of potential and promise because their generation’s identity is rooted in innovation.

“Opportunity is all around us. You’re graduating at a time where youth unemployment is high. And yet your peers are refusing to sit idly by. You’re the most active, service-driven generation, the most imaginative, the most tech-savvy. You’re creating opportunities, inventing gadgets, placing an emphasis on social responsibility over greed. So stop worrying so much. Why are you worried?”

Famous Short Speeches With Inspirational Takeaways

17. Charles Dutton: Speech from Rudy (1993)

In the film Rudy, Sean Astin’s character, Rudy Ruettiger, quits the Notre Dame football team because he has to watch one of his last games from the stands. After two years of grueling practices and never once being apart of the team on the sidelines, he’s done dealing with the humiliation. But his friend Fortune -- played by Charles Dutton -- flips the script on him. He shows Rudy that he shouldn’t be humiliated. He should be proud because he’s proven to everyone that his perseverance and heart can carry him through any challenge. He just needs to realize that himself. And the only way he can do that is if he stays on the team for the rest of the season.

“You’re 5 feet nothin’, a 100 and nothin’, and you got hardly a speck of athletic ability. And you hung in with the best college football team in the land for two years. And you’re also gonna walk outta here with a degree from the University of Notre Dame. In this lifetime, you don’t have to prove nothin’ to nobody – except yourself. And after what you’ve gone through, if you haven’t done that by now, it ain’t gonna never happen. Now go on back.”

18. William Wallace: Speech From the Battle of Stirling Bridge (1297)

OK, I'll admit it: I couldn't find a recording of the actual speech Scottish freedom fighter William Wallace gave at the Battle of Stirling Bridge in 1297 (the historian I spoke with said something about "nonexistent technology" and me "being an idiot," but I digress). Historical accuracy aside, there's no denying that Mel Gibson's version of the speech from the 1995 film Braveheart can help get you pumped up.

"Aye, fight and you may die. Run and you'll live -- at least a while. And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!!!"

19. Al Pacino: "Inch by Inch" (1999)

Yes, this speech is from a football movie (Any Given Sunday), but trust me: This isn't your stereotypical rah-rah-go-get-'em sports speech. It's deeper than that. It's about life, and loss, and ... gosh darn it just listen to Al Pacino, he's pouring his soul out!

Either we heal as a team or we’re gonna crumble, inch by inch, play by play, till we’re finished. We’re in hell right now, gentlemen, believe me. And we can stay here and get the $&#@ kicked out of us, or we can fight our way back into the light. We can climb out of hell, one inch at a time."

20. Sylvester Stallone: Speech from Rocky Balboa (2006)

I had to put this one next since it plays along the same themes as Denzel Washington's UPenn speech. In the scene above, from the 2006 film Rocky Balboa, the title character (played by Sylvester Stallone) is having a heart-to-heart with his son. The advice he gives him: Don't let your failures or the adversity you face slow you down. Keep. Moving. Forward.

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place, and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!"

21. Frank Oz/Yoda: Speech from The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

This speech fromThe Empire Strikes Back felt like a natural follow-up to Charlie Day's speech. In the scene above, Yoda -- voiced by Frank Oz -- is teaching Luke the ways of the force. One of his key teachings: Whether or not something can or can't be done (e.g., lifting an X-Wing out of a swamp) is all in your head. So instead of doubting yourself, believe in yourself.

"Do, or do not. There is no try."

22. Will Smith: Speech from The Pursuit of Happyness (2006)

Here's another speech from the big screen, this time from the 2006 film The Pursuit of Happyness. In the scene above, Will Smith's character explains to his son why he shouldn't pursue basketball (because he'll end up being "below average") before having a major change of heart.

Don't ever let somebody tell you ... you can't do something. Not even me. All right? You got a dream. You gotta protect it. People can't do something themselves, they want to tell you can't do it. If you want something, go get it. Period."

23. Kurt Russell: “This is Your Time” (2004)

The Miracle on Ice is still considered the biggest upset in Olympic hockey history. And for good reason. The Soviet Union won six of the last seven Olympic gold medals, and the U.S. team consisted only of amateur players. It was obvious the Soviets were better. But, in the movie Miracle, which told the incredible story of the 1980 U.S. Olympic Hockey Team, Kurt Russell’s character -- Coach Herb Brooks -- knew that this game was different. The U.S. was better than the Soviets that day. And his speech conveyed such a strong belief in his team that they pulled off one of the greatest sports moments of the 20th century.

"If we played ’em ten times, they might win nine. But not this game… Not tonight. Tonight, we skate with them. Tonight, we stay with them. And we shut them down because we can! Tonight, WE are the greatest hockey team in the world. You were born to be hockey players, every one of you. And you were meant to be here tonight. This is your time.”

Want more? Read How to Motivate Yourself When You're Absolutely Exhausted.

0 notes

junker-town · 8 years ago

Text

Which 2017 NFL draft prospects are underrated, per college fans?

Here are the players we’d scoot up the draft board. How about you?

College fans don’t always agree with NFL people on draft prospects.

We’ve watched these players on Saturdays and don’t care as much about NFL team needs, scheme translations, and anonymous scout chatter. That doesn’t necessarily make us more enlightened, but it does mean a different perspective.

Now that we all have a good idea of how the 2017 NFL draft’s early rounds are gonna go, let’s think about which players are especially popular among college fans. Who are our picks to be overlooked by NFL teams? Or, put another way, who are college fans most overrating, according to NFL mocks?

A bunch of us answered this question, but let’s hear from you in the comments, as well.

These are not our top-five overall picks, just our five players we’d be quickest to move up in the rankings.

The only rule: no picking Texas A&M DE Myles Garrett, because the expected No. 1 pick cannot possibly be undervalued. Guess that means we can’t pick potential No. 1 pick North Carolina QB Mitchell Trubisky either, not that, uh, we would.

Richard Johnson

1. O.J. Howard, Alabama TE: You know how in basketball, they just run the whole offense through the most dominant physical specimen on the team? Yeah, that's what Alabama more often shoulda done with Howard. He's the X Factor in every game he’s involved in, and even he was confused the Tide didn't give him the ball more often.

Whether decoy or main target in the progression, it'll be fun to see O.J. give defensive coordinators fits in the NFL. Oh, and he can block, too. 2. Deshaun Watson, Clemson QB 3. Jarrad Davis, Florida LB 4. Patrick Mahomes, Texas Tech QB 5. Adoree’ Jackson, USC CB

Bill Connelly

1. Zach Cunningham, Vanderbilt LB: One play never encapsulates a player. Two might, though.

youtube

That’s Cunningham, former star recruit, hurdling his 234 pounds over a mass of humanity and almost stealing the football before a kicker can even kick it.

youtube

That’s Cunningham, thought to be a bit too lanky for the SEC’s power schools, catching Isaiah McKenzie — a potential draft pick with a full head of steam — from behind and pulling him backward to seal an upset over Georgia.

Cunningham had 41 tackles for loss as a high school senior. He had 33 in his last two years as Vandy’s best defensive weapon. He is so much fun to watch. He combines elegant athleticism with a nasty streak. He was James Franklin’s parting gift to Derek Mason in Nashville, and he dragged an offense-free Vandy to a bowl in 2016.

Maybe he’s too small to be a true star in the NFL, but he’s a freak with an IQ higher than yours. I’ll take those guys any time. 2. Chad Kelly, Ole Miss QB 3. Patrick Mahomes, Texas Tech QB 4. Justin Thomas, Georgia Tech QB/RB 5. Josh Augusta, Missouri DT

Luke Zimmermann

1. Deshaun Watson, Clemson QB: Quarterback wins may be a worthless stat. And "winners win" is the kind of logic used to justify bad decisions by teams across pro sports. And yet, Watson is a dang winner.

At every level, from seven-on-seven to back-to-back College Football Playoffs, Watson is the kind of quarterback you can go into battle with and feel comfortable about coming away victorious. For all the questions marks — decision making, system fit, ability to read defenses — no one wants it more than No. 4. And with a rare mix of athleticism, arm strength, and football acumen, you're going to get the results you're seeking. 2. O.J. Howard, Alabama TE 3. Forrest Lamp, Western Kentucky OT 4. D’Onta Foreman, Texas RB 5. Curtis Samuel, Ohio State RB/WR

Dan Rubenstein

1. Dalvin Cook, Florida State RB 2. Budda Baker, Washington S: 2017 is an impressively deep year for defensive backs, but don’t let that hide how great Baker will be.

I say this as an Oregon fan who’s still bummed Baker decommitted from the Ducks to sign with then-new Washington coach Chris Petersen: Baker is impossibly fun to watch, if you enjoy safeties playing one step ahead and giving offenses fits.

Draftniks will pick him apart as being undersized and strictly a center-field type, but watch him effortlessly step in front of deep receivers to nab deep balls and then roll up to set a quick boundary to end a wide run before it ever starts, and you'll fall in football love. Don't let him be the one that got away. 3. Jabrill Peppers, Michigan football player 4. Dorian Johnson, Pitt OL 5. D’Onta Foreman, Texas RB

Bud Elliott

1. Mike Williams, Clemson WR: If I told you you could have prime-career Plaxico Burress with a middle pick in the first round, you'd take that, right? Because I'm pretty sure that's who Williams is. He is a big guy who understands what his game is, and importantly, what it is not. He played in an ACC with many top defensive backs and also faced Alabama and Ohio State. He's someone my quarterback can depend on to make contested catches. 2. Adoree’ Jackson, USC CB 3. Ethan Pocic, LSU OL 4. Joe Mixon, Oklahoma RB 5. Eddie Vanderdoes, UCLA DT

How a broken neck made Mike Williams even better

Matt Brown

1. Zay Jones, East Carolina WR: Without big-time playmakers to take defensive attention off him, Jones still caught more passes than anybody else in FBS (158), finishing second nationally in receiving yards (1,746). In fact, no player in FBS history has caught more passes than Jones, EVER. Don't you want a wide receiver who is really good at catching the ball lots of times? 2. Hunter Dimick, Utah DE 3. Christian McCaffrey, Stanford RB 4. Donnel Pumphrey, San Diego State RB 5. Taco Charlton, Michigan DE

Morgan Moriarty

1. Leonard Fournette, LSU RB: I’ll just leave this here:

ESPN

Don’t believe me? How ‘bout now:

Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

2. Deshaun Watson, Clemson QB 3. Dalvin Cook, Florida State RB 4. Jonathan Allen, Alabama DT 5. Malik Hooker, Ohio State S

Alex Kirshner

1. Deshaun Watson, Clemson QB 2. Cooper Kupp, Eastern Washington WR, is the most prolific receiver in Division I history, and that's how he catches your eye. But he keeps your eye because of all the things he's done well and all the good teams he's done them against. Kupp played in the FCS, but torched Pac-12 opponents for 716 yards and 11 touchdowns in four games. He ran option routes that are now commonplace in the NFL, and he's done nothing but get buckets for four years. 3. Zay Jones, East Carolina WR 4. Patrick Mahomes, Texas Tech QB 5. Leonard Fournette, LSU RB

Wescott Eberts

1. D’Onta Foreman, Texas RB: Might I interest you in a 235-pound running back with 4.45 speed? That’s Foreman, who is fresh off a 2,000-yard season and posting this Physical Size and Athleticism Rating:

Even with a hand time adjustment on his 40, D'Onta Foreman's PSAR rating is the highest of any RB in the 2017 class: 7.76 out of 9.00

— Kyle Crabbs (@NDTScouting) March 28, 2017

A two-star prospect by Rivals out of high school, Foreman has already made a career out of proving his doubters wrong, so here’s your chance to look smart when the big back has a huge rookie season. 2. Patrick Mahomes, Texas Tech QB 3. Tyus Bowser, Houston LB 4. T.J. Watt, Wisconsin LB 5. Malik McDowell, Michigan State DL

Jason Kirk

1. Deshaun Watson, Clemson QB 2. Dalvin Cook, Florida State RB: Cook should’ve twice been a Heisman finalist, ranking ahead of 2015 winner Derrick Henry in total yards per game and No. 3 in 2016, against a tougher schedule than those faced by No. 1 Foreman or No. 2 McCaffrey.

His explosiveness numbers top McCaffrey’s over the last two years (nearly doubling the potential Stanford first-rounder’s highlight yards per opportunity, or yards added to 5-yard gains, in 2015), and Cook was a more efficient receiver, based on yards per target.

But Cook had an underwhelming combine, you say?

According to Sports Science, John Ross and Dalvin Cook had the same 20-yard split in pads: 2.67.

— Marcus Mosher (@Marcus_Mosher) April 15, 2017

According to Sports Science, Cook has the second fastest top speed of any RB they've tested in the past five years.

— Marcus Mosher (@Marcus_Mosher) April 15, 2017

3. Cam Robinson, Alabama OT 4. DeMarcus Walker, Florida State DE 5. Ben Boulware, Clemson LB

Overall

Slap those together, and you get:

1. Deshaun Watson, Clemson QB: If he’s not the No. 1 QB, a lot of college fans are gonna be mystified. 2. Dalvin Cook, Florida State RB 3. Patrick Mahomes, Texas Tech QB 4. O.J. Howard, Alabama TE 5. D’Onta Foreman, Texas RB, and Zay Jones, East Carolina WR

Lotta skill players there, but overall, we had 11 votes for linemen and eight for back-seven defenders in these small groups.

Your turn. Who’s your personal draft crush this year, based on college production?

0 notes

fitnessmashup · 9 years ago

Text

Keeping you on the path for those New Year’s Resolutions

I am a big fan of Tony Robbins and his system of incurring “instant” change. His work has taught me what a big lever I have as a coach with pain. Pain motivates people better than any golden ring somewhere in the future. In my life, losing my ability to function normally to both illness and injury has provided more motivation than all the “Win one for the Gipper” talks I have ever heard.

Sadly, if I can get an elite athlete to think about all the pain of failure, it seems to give them the motivation to continue to push forward. And, honestly, I hate to do it. It works, it is a valuable tool, but it diminishes the journey for all of us.

For years, I didn’t know a better way. Then, I was told about making small changes.

For most of us, we need to try another path: we need to improve our fitness and health one habit at a time. I’m a big fan of the work of Josh Hillis in this area, but the work of B J Fogg of Stanford University made me realize that we need to make our habit setting even easier than I ever thought.

I would love it if you told me you were going to add eight different vegetables to your diet every day. I doubt you will even get to the store. And, when you do, you might find yourself frustrated without the knowledge of what to do with all these veggies. Let’s make it easier:

Let’s commit to adding ONE vegetable a day to my diet.

If you buy canned veggies, only buy them with the pop-top lids to save that extra work of opening the can with a can opener.

Buy the precut, prewashed veggies. Yes, they are more expensive, but you can just drop them into your eggs, soups or stews without a second thought.

You want to drink more water? Convince yourself…and congratulate yourself…that for every cup of coffee or adult beverage, you will have a sip of water. Why not a glass of water?

Good question. I know this: I can always have a sip of clear water. Just rinse out the mug, splash a little extra in my mouth, say “Yes!” loudly to myself and carry on.

Here is the funny thing: most of us think we are walking hulks of discipline. Actually, you are just a mass of habits and part of the flotsam of the community you float around in. In high school, we had Sixth Period P.E. and all the athletes went to Varsity practice. At 1:30, a mass of the school population headed over to the locker rooms.

It wasn’t my self-discipline marching off to war; I was caught up in the current of people going to practice. For most of us, the day high school ended, so did our training.

Fortunately, I was in the “habit” of training in my backyard. Later, I got caught up in my college track team and the Pacific Barbell Club training schedule.

Years later, with two kids, a dog and a cat and a mortgage, I would come home every night and lump down.

But, it was time to train! I just had to “show up!” in the gym and get going!

Simple to write, simple to say and simple to follow but few people adhere to fitness programs for the “simple” reason they fail to show up. Even if you go to the gym or walk over to your fitness equipment and just wave a few things around for thirty seconds, I think you are doing better than staying on the couch, bed or computer chair. Trust me: if you just show up, you will do more than just a few waves.

Twyla Tharp said it best in her book, The Creative Habit (Courtesy of James Clear):

I begin each day of my life with a ritual; I wake up at 5:30 A.M., put on my workout clothes, my leg warmers, my sweatshirts, and my hat. I walk outside my Manhattan home, hail a taxi, and tell the driver to take me to the Pumping Iron gym at 91st street and First Avenue, where I work out for two hours. The ritual is not the stretching and weight training I put my body through each morning at the gym; the ritual is the cab. The moment I tell the driver where to go I have completed the ritual.

It’s a simple act, but doing it the same way each morning habitualizes it — makes it repeatable, easy to do. It reduces the chance that I would skip it or do it differently. It is one more item in my arsenal of routines, and one less thing to think about.

Then, finish the program. No matter what you are going to do, whether it is a two weeks to bigger biceps or six weeks to ripped abs, I want you to finish the program. Charles Staley noted years ago “the best program is the one you are not doing.” The diet you are going to start next Monday is miles better than what you are doing today and the thing you just read online is far better than the program given to you by the world’s finest trainer. Rarely is this true, but we tend to do it.

And, that is fine, of course. Just finish the program you are doing. You might want to remind yourself that just a few weeks ago, THIS program was the greatest workout ever devised.

Do NOT criticize, condemn or correct a training program that you are doing until you complete it.

Years ago, I followed a strict and disciplined diet that involved only protein shakes and 28 days of hard living for everyone around me. Upon completion, a friend told me: “Now that you have finished it, you can criticize it.”

The insight was so simple and clear that now I use it as a tool. Finish it; then fix it.

I put together a 10,000 Kettlebell Swing Challenge featuring two training programs for two different tasks. I undertook this 10,000 swing challenge twice to figure out what rep schemes worked best for doing the entire twenty day program.

Upon publishing the article, that day I began receiving emails and posts with “better ideas.”

“Wouldn’t it be better to do twenty sets of twenty-five reps to get 500 a day?” No, because you can never keep track of the sets as we tried it and you simply get lost after 12 sets or so.

“Wouldn’t this rep scheme be better (insert a bunch of random numbers)?” No, you see…wait, I just realized something: you are asking questions without even trying the 20,000 reps. On Day One of the article’s publication, the readers were already coming up with “better” ideas without doing a single swing.

It reminded me of something my brother-in-law, Craig Hemingway, told me: he works as an EMT and often gives presentations to schools. He has a rule just before the question and answer period. He simply explains two things: when you raise your hand, I want a question. A question finishes with a question mark. A story, on the other hand, is when you tell us about your grandpa has been in an ambulance. We only want questions right now.

You see, most people want to tell their stories. They don’t really want to follow my programs or anybody else’s program; they want to tell me about their programs. It’s funny: in our gym, we don’t often follow “our programs” because we are often experimenting with ideas that we find other people doing.

If you know your history, reflect on this quote by Amelia Earhart: “In soloing, as in other activities, it is far easier to start something than it is to finish it.”

For nearly every single goal you have in mind, someone else has cleared that path before you. Why not just follow it?

from Dan John http://ift.tt/2hS86Ys via IFTTT

#IFTTT #Dan John

0 notes

junker-town · 8 years ago

Text

Which 2017 NFL draft prospects are underrated, per college fans?

Here are the players we’d scoot up the draft board. How about you?

College fans don’t always agree with NFL people on draft prospects. We’ve watched these players on Saturdays and don’t care as much about NFL team needs, scheme translations, and anonymous scout chatter. That doesn’t necessarily make us more enlightened, but it does mean a different perspective.

A bunch of us answered this question, but let’s hear from you in the comments as well.

These are not our top-five overall picks, just our five players we’d be quickest to move up in the rankings.

The only rule: no picking Texas A&M DE Myles Garrett, because the expected No. 1 pick cannot possibly be undervalued.

Richard Johnson

1. O.J. Howard, Alabama TE: You know how in basketball, they just run the whole offense through the most dominant physical specimen on the team? Yeah, that's what Alabama more often shoulda done with Howard. He's the X factor in every game he’s involved in, and even he was confused the Tide didn't give him the ball more often.

Whether decoy or main target in the progression, it'll be fun to see O.J. give defensive coordinators fits in the NFL. Oh, and he can block too. 2. Deshaun Watson, Clemson QB 3. Jarrad Davis, Florida LB 4. Patrick Mahomes, Texas Tech QB 5. Adoree’ Jackson, USC CB

Bill Connelly

1. Zach Cunningham, Vanderbilt LB: One play never encapsulates a player. Two might, though.

youtube

That’s Cunningham, former star recruit, hurdling his 234 pounds over a mass of humanity and almost stealing the football before a kicker can even kick it.

youtube

Luke Zimmermann

Dan Rubenstein

1. Dalvin Cook, Florida State RB 2. Budda Baker, Washington S: 2017 is an impressively deep year for defensive backs, but don’t let that hide how great Baker will be.

Bud Elliott

How a broken neck made Mike Williams even better

Matt Brown

Morgan Moriarty

1. Leonard Fournette, LSU RB: I’ll just leave this here:

ESPN

Don’t believe me? How ‘bout now:

Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

2. Deshaun Watson, Clemson QB 3. Dalvin Cook, Florida State RB 4. Jonathan Allen, Alabama DT 5. Malik Hooker, Ohio State S

Alex Kirshner

Wescott Eberts

Even with a hand time adjustment on his 40, D'Onta Foreman's PSAR rating is the highest of any RB in the 2017 class: 7.76 out of 9.00

— Kyle Crabbs (@NDTScouting) March 28, 2017

Jason Kirk

His explosiveness numbers top McCaffrey’s over the last two years (nearly doubling the potential Stanford first-rounder’s highlight yards per opportunity, or yards added to five-yard gains, in 2015), and Cook was a more efficient receiver, based on yards per target.

But Cook had an underwhelming combine, you say?

According to Sports Science, John Ross and Dalvin Cook had the same 20-yard split in pads: 2.67.

— Marcus Mosher (@Marcus_Mosher) April 15, 2017

According to Sports Science, Cook has the second fastest top speed of any RB they've tested in the past five years.

— Marcus Mosher (@Marcus_Mosher) April 15, 2017

3. Cam Robinson, Alabama OT 4. DeMarcus Walker, Florida State DE 5. Ben Boulware, Clemson LB

Overall

Slap those together, and you get:

Lotta skill players there, but overall, we had 11 votes for linemen and eight for back-seven defenders in these small groups.

Your turn. Who’s your personal draft crush this year, based on college production?

0 notes