#we know power and control - ESPECIALLY control - are a big thing for him

[housemdork]

house md rewatch: 2x11, "need to know"

#hacy conclusion plus a gag-off at the end.

this one is of biblical proportions.

big moment for one of wilson's strongest, destructive traits - never letting something lie. but more on that later. while i really enjoy this one (are we tired of hearing that yet?), i found that there is a lot of collateral damage as a result of house and stacy departing that's never really explained. like mark supposedly setting his rehab "back three months"? that's like...a big deal!

i'd name the dominant theme of 2x11 avoidance, but it doesn't come from who we'd expect to avoid everything emotional at all costs. house is desperate for 1) stacy to make a choice between him and mark; and 2) to tell mark what they did. house values truth, of course, but he ordinarily avoids any territory that involves emotional truth. it's safe to say then that he's eager to pounce on this emotional truth because, to him, it's entirely stacy's responsibility to handle the situation.

but, again, house's desperation for mark to know about their now full-blown affair really captured me. this is the first time we've seen him being outwardly emotionally needy in real time (and in his own special way). house wants the major emotional commitment of exposing him and stacy's shared transgression. i even wonder if house wants stacy to go through a little bit of emotional pain, re: what he said to wilson in 1x22. through all of this, he wants to be someone else's number 1. if stacy can come back to him, after all they endured in their old relationship, then he can't be all that bad, right? he doesn't have to change, right? (wrong!)

house frames the choice to stacy in clear, powerful terms: "it's not easy, but it is simple." that really stuck with me.

obviously, things aren't that cut and dry, especially not where stacy is concerned, a character who's so concerned and adept with grey areas. 2x11's patient, margo dalton, has a dilemma that mirrors stacy's, albeit with life-threatening consequences (typical house md equivalency). the heart of margo's medical emergency comes from the intersection of her fertility treatments and her paradoxical birth control use. rather than confess to her husband ted that she doesn't want to have children, she's majorly harming herself yet still begs house and co. to keep this from her husband. she chooses, against house's advice and demands, to undergo needless surgery to remove the benign tumor in her liver to keep up the lie.

this dilemma coincides almost exactly with stacy's, as does house's opinion about it. stacy's safe option amidst her relationship lies is to maintain the go-between, to try to have her cake and eat it, too. she still plans, until the very end of the episode, to move away, back with mark, with this burning secret between her and house.

the irony is that, when she finally does choose to leave mark for house, he undoes the decision, implying that margo's husband may have very well left her if he found out about the birth control secret. i love when house md isn't afraid to show people being ugly.

sela ward is just incredible in this scene, btw.

only the audience knows exactly what's motivated house to undo what he's longed for this entire season - his encounter with mark (which is why i have beef with wilson in this episode). mark confronts house, at first seeking advice about how to preserve his relationship with stacy, as it grows increasingly strained from what MARK assumes is his disability. but house knows the truth, that stacy is shutting him out in favor of house.

visually, this scene is brilliant, not just because mark tries to pulling himself up the stairs and falls into house's arms, but because of the power politics at play.

mark, physically weaker right now, has the emotional hold on this conversation, whether he knows it or not. he's postured below house, but he's stronger. it looks like he's Kneeling At The Altar Of House (a frequent occurrence), seeking help and/or absolution, but house experiences this, instead. he realizes the error of his ways.

what's more, though, is the introspection this spurs in house. he literally and metaphorically stands in between stacy and mark. he's the major hitch in their relationship; he is the in-between in terms of their mobility. as mark pulls himself upright, house realizes that mark refuses to be stagnant, physically or emotionally. he is doing the rehab that house refused to; he is putting in the work that house didn't/couldn't post-infarction.

all that is to say that i think 2x11 is especially tragic in how it portrays house's perception of himself and his disability. he tells stacy that things would never work out between them because he can't change, ignoring the fact that the very nature of his decision to let her go signals change! house sees himself exclusively in terms of pre and post-infarction. in his view, he's just Stuck Like This now, and that's heartbreaking.*

the patient story also wraps up some of the disparate moments of 2x11 via paralysis. in order to perform an MRI at the top of the episode, foreman and cameron inject margo with a paralytic so her muscle spasms won't mess up the results. foreman described the treatment to ted: "essentially cuts off the brain from the muscles." i relate this to, first, stacy's head/heart divide (acting on emotionally impulses vs. being rational about mark), and, second, decision paralysis.

stacy can't make a choice between mark or house until pushed up against the wall, yet, meanwhile, cameron's indecision over reading her HIV results sets up an excellent background thematic development. in the end, her fear wins out, and she avoids the result completely, only for house to sneak the big reveal. much like how he pushes stacy, he pushes cameron, going beyond what's even remotely appropriate and violating her privacy, mind you.

i'm disappointed in 2x11 for reducing this scene to such a quick interaction. it's very important, and characterizes house's capacity to care for his fellows/friends in a negative, painful way, probably the same way that was so grating to stacy back in the day and would continue, should they stay together now.

OKAY FINALLY: wilson spent all of 2x11 All Up In Everyone's Business And Being A Hypocrite. why does he care so much about all of this?

i think there's 3 layers of an answer to that question, and they appear in the following order: selfishness, deflection, and, despite everything, care for house.

wilson tells stacy (in a very iconic scene imo) that, last time she left, "i was the one stuck picking up the pieces." while this does relate to a post i literally made last night about how wilson's work in his friendship with house goes unheard and underappreciated, by 2x11, we don't have a basis for that yet. here, he sounds mostly upset that his friend is careening for another exhausting breakup that wilson will have to suffer through, by extension. persona layer number one - check!

but we're not stupid. we've seen the way house md is ramping up wilson's cheating. we know the other shoe is due to drop soon. he's so appalled by stacy's behavior (which! uh! it takes 2 to cheat! james!) because he sees himself in her. his retort that she can't do this because "you're married" is laughably stupid, and stacy ate with "not to you!" wilson is much more interested in stuffing his nose in other people's affairs than investigating his own (maybe because this one is especially egregious lol) and wishes he could exhibit the morality he pushes upon stacy. persona layer number 2 - check!

this makes the switch-up with house all the more insane. wilson goes from flaming stacy for being irresponsible and toying with house (girl. introspection) to gossiping about how house could potentially win her back in the same day. and then he says something so batshit crazy and SOOO wilson that i was gagged even before their scuffle at the end of 2x11:

house: "she's not gonna leave mark in the middle of his rehab. too much guilt."

wilson: "she left you."

oh he hates her. misogyny abound, wilson's earlier complaint that he would be the one who will take care of house post-breakup rings very hollow when wilson implies 2 scenes later that he would do it again. that he was upset about house's pain. that he blames stacy. never once does wilson point the finger at house for damaging things with stacy in the past.

this post is already so fucking long but i have to talk about the elephant in wilson's adjoined office: him rolling (a horrible) joint. why did they do this? is it for grace? is it to show that he's not Mister Nice Guy Oncologist? because i got that much. i won't make a phallic joke. i swear i won't. but just know that one is on my mind.

ok now for the gag-off, the scene that echoes 1x18 and sets the stage for their future toxic shouting matches.

at first, i completely disagree with wilson's diagnosis. he claims that house "has no idea" why he let stacy go, and he sent her away "because you've got to be miserable." EH. WRONG. we saw in house's encounter with mark that something real shifted within him that motivated his decision, at least in part, which is why house retorts with something brilliant:

"that kind of psycho-crap help get your patients through the long nights? or is it just for you? tough love make you feel good? helping people feel their pain?"

translation: you're just assuaging your own guilt here. don't put it on me. you don't know what led me to this choice.

but because wilson can see to the heart of house, i think it's this fraction of vulnerability that puts him onto the real problem, which i agree with, painful as it is: "you don't like yourself. but you do admire yourself. it's all you've got, so you cling to it. you're so afraid if you change, you'll lose what makes you special. being miserable doesn't make you better than anyone else, house. it just makes you miserable."

he's the clear victor. house is reliant on his status quo, the one made up of his own misery, and actively fears anything that will threaten it. two things can exist at once: he made the choice to leave stacy because it was the right thing to do, but, to wilson's point, i think this was secondary to the real fear he had of reopening all those old wounds because he cannot envision himself changing for stacy. this is reinforced by this shot, that emphasizes house popping some vicodin in silence:

in his classic way, wilson berates house here, banking on the tough love house mentioned. but deep in there is some compassion since wilson is the only person who can break through to house. it's compelling that they make this so clear in 2x11, at the tail end of the stacy saga, when house has closed himself off to emotional vulnerability.

and this all makes no mention of how wilson is just very psychosexually obsessed with house lmfao but we don't have time for that rn.

this uh. does not bode well for future wilson-heavy episodes. sorry this was so long, and if you got to the bottom of this post, just now that there is a special place for you in my heart.

[blue-rose-soul]

Ngl, when Vivziepop mentions a 'demon manipulator wanting to gain power/control' my brain immediately goes to Alastor.

[dbphantom]

you know if you guys voted for stretch armstrong i probably would have shut up a lot sooner tonight

[everythingspokenfor]

All characters are aged up 18+. MDNI.

Bakugou doesn't like having sex in your room, he intentionally controls himself whenever he comes to your apartment that things don't get heated. In case, things do get heated, he is dragging your ass back to the couch, or sometimes even carrying to the car.

Consequently, you concluded that he doesn't like your room, infact going so far to assume that it is a turn off for him.

So, you do everything in your power to change the aesthetic of your room, constantly asking him, what his style is? What he prefers to keep in his room?

Making multiple alterations in your room, to the point where it seems more suited to his taste than yours, but nothing worked.

He still never got handsy in your room, complimenting your new decor before dragging you to the living room, something about playing the t.v. in the background so neighbours won't complain. Bullshit.

Bakugou loves your room, it's cozy, filled with all the things that remind him of you. The shelf beside your mirror filled with lip glosses, few perfumes nudged beside them; your work desk, everything painted in the same dusty pink and sage green combo, from the monitor to the mat on the ground.

Your bed was his favourite part though, the thickest mattress, with fluffiest comforter, a set of pillows lining your headboard.

He spends majority of his time in your bed, from sleeping to watching documentaries, occasionally watching you work on your desk too.

It's a shame he couldn't have sex here, especially not when your children sat, on the dresser directly in front of the bed, all your 12 plushies, he remembers each of their names, stare straight at the bed.

He can't bring himself to put them else where, they were here first, way before him, so he makes the compromise, of dragging you out to other potential places in the apartment to have sex.

He never said anything to you either, knowing the moment words leave his mouth, you'll grab and shove them in the closet, he can't do that to, his kids, your plushies. He didn't think you'd notice though.

"Why don't we ever have sex here?" You are kneeling in your bed, almost sinking into the mattress, donned in his old ratty skull t-shirt.

"What do you mean, we have sex here all the time?" He lies, knowing exactly what you meant, trying to dodge the question as he leans over to put his phone on charging, anything to avoid your eyes, or else he'll confess, he'll crumble.

"You know, what I meant, Suki, we have sex in the apartment never in my room." You whined, shuffling closer to him, as you cradled his jaw in your hands, forcing him to meet your eyes. "I even changed things around here, but you still don't like it-"

"What do you mean, I don't like it. I love this place, babe, it's so pretty and comfortable and smells like you all the time." He groans, hands cupping your face, watching as your lips pucker into a pout, he leans in, unable to resist you, smushing his lips against yours.

You let him, let him press messy kisses against your mouth, spit coats his lips when he pulls away, cheeks red, tongue darting out to lick away, your spit, "Acting like a whore isn't going to help you dodge the question, Suki." You tilt your head watching as his pupils dilate, cheeky grin spreading on his lips.

"If I tell you, promise you won't instantly try to fix it?" He watches your reaction, watches as you prepare to hear what he has to say, your eyebrows are scrunched, teeth nipping at your lips, tell-tale signs that you are preparing to here the worst. "Relax, baby it's not anything serious."

"I promise I won't." You respond, shuffling further into his arms, "Although I am not sure what I am promising so it's a vague promise, terms and conditions might change."

"Smartass." He groans playfully, big hands coming to squeeze your ass, "I don't have sex here, because of them." He gestures with his hands towards your dresser, you tilt your head in confusion, before looking at him for explanation, "Your kids, our kids, we can't do the naughty in front of them."

"But Suki, they are just my plushies-"

"Our children, we even named them, don't be insensitive now."

You look at him bewildered, eyes wide as you try to gage, whether he was joking or actually serious. The look on his face told you he was dead serious, "We could cover them with a blanket-"

"And suffocate them, no thanks." He sassed, arms crossing as he defended his kids.

"What about putting them out, in the living room?"

"No. This was their room first." He seemingly had answers for each solution you came up with, "If anyone should go out it's us."

"What about turning them around?" You exasperated, running out of ideas, "That way they won't see us, but can still be in the room."

He mulls over your words, taking into consideration the pros and cons, "That's a good idea." He mutters, pulling away before he struts over to your dresser and starts turning around each plush, making sure they are all comfortable. "Done."

He walks back, plopping beside you, hands resting behind his head, as he pretends to drift off to sleep.

"Are we not going to..." Your sentence linger incompleted, you moved closer, laying your head on his arm, cheek pressing against his chest.

"Going to what babe?" He mumbled, pretending to be oblivious to your dilemma.

"I was ready to be finally ploughed down in my bed but I guess we can slee-" Your words are cut off, his arms come to wrap around your body, flipping you on your back as he towers over you.

"Can't even joke around now, brat." He grunts, leaning in to press a wet kiss against your lips.

You gasped, hands coming to wrap around his shoulders, fingers digging into his hairs. You fill his hands trail down your body, playing with the elastic of your sleeping shorts, "Someone's eager." You grin as he pulls away.

"Someone needed a good ploughing down, baby." He grinned, with a glint of mischief in his eyes, leaning back to sit on his heels and pull his shirt off.

Oh boy, you hope the bed frame and your back survives.

Dividers by: @diviniyae 💖✨

[dammit-tazmuir]

For all the things this fandom refuses to believe and chalks up to John's lies, the thing that baffles me to see so many believe without question is the idea of Perfect Lyctorhood.

Guys. Guys, there is no Perfect Lyctorhood.

Or at best, if there hypothetically could be, it's nothing we've ever seen. Paul is the closest thing and I know a lot of you would not consider Paul perfect. John did not achieve Perfect Lyctorhood, and it wasn't even his idea to claim he did. A quarter of NtN extensively details that he didn't.

The old Lyctors didn't know what Alecto was. John definitely told them more than he would have liked to, because of course she doesn't lie and is too obviously inhuman to hide it fully. But if they knew everything, Mercy wouldn't doubt that Alecto ever had a genetic code; she would know she didn't, or that any genes she might've had were made from John's own blood and bone.

Because they didn't know what she actually was or what actually happened (foreshadowed too by Mercy's "if you had lied about anything else" lines, when actually he did), they drew the wrong conclusion. They assumed something different in his process allowed Alecto to persist. But we now know the truth is that Alecto was simply too big to consume. She didn't die because she was already limitless. This will never apply to another human. But he lets them believe their conclusion because he thinks it's better and easier to talk his way out of than them figuring out the real truth.

It does remain possible that Anastasia and Samael were genuinely on the cusp of that breakthrough, but I honestly doubt it. That was another conclusion drawn by the Lyctors as a follow-up to the previous wrong one, and when John answers, he visibly hesitates. It feels like he's once again going, "....Sssure, yes, let's go with that." I don't know what Samael and Anastasia WERE on the verge of. Maybe they would have become gestalt like Paul, and the possibility of just one dying was why Pal begged Cam "don't look back", and John was afraid of the power they'd achieve (could Paul have greater thalergy than a normal Lyctor?) and/or of just the others seeing a different process and getting mad at him.

AND/OR, ACTUALLY? Especially if their attempt was one of the earlier ones (around the middle rather than the end), but even if it wasn't: I think a Paul situation has a STRONG possibility of being exactly what happened. John's most outright lies are usually the ones other people tell that he just nods along with. When it's from himself, if it's not feigned incompetence, he usually goes for half-truths and misleading truths. He says Anastasia panicked halfway through and if he hadn't stepped in they would have both died. I think it's very possible that John panicked halfway through as he realized what they were doing, and that it's genuinely true they would have both died— in the same way Camilla and Palamedes both died, to create someone new.

And we know how much John hates change. How desperately John needs to keep his specific people close. What are the odds he was so afraid of losing both of them and being left with a new person he didn't know, couldn't predict, and couldn't easily control with them having a whole Lyctor's power and maybe more? Especially if Cyth and Loveday, Cassy and Nigella, Cyrus and Valancy, Ulysses and Titania, maybe even G1deon and Pyrrha— if any others hadn't undergone the process yet, and there was a chance they'd see Samastastia and decide that was the path they wanted too. If he thought this meant he might lose all his friends instead of only the less favored half.

Either way, though, based on everything we know, there is no simple soul swap that results in dual immortality. Even John and Alecto involve a fusion of megasoul. "You and she are one." (This is also likely how a seemingly real facet of John could talk to Harrow in Alecto's dream.) And we've seen through NtN, the soul longs for the body. The body longs for the soul. A body housing a different soul doesn't last long, even when those souls ARE semi connected. A body even temporarily renting space to a foreign soul is a massive strain, like Cam carrying Pal.

Lyctorhood inherently involves death and consumption and acting against nature. It is the indelible sin. It's possible that Grand Lysis avoids that sin by making it about mutual death, about giving instead of taking, but it's still bittersweet at best. I highly doubt we're going to see a perfect solution that fixes everything, at least via more necromancy, because that's not the kind of series this is. It's messy, beautiful in its flaws, embracing the understanding that life is change and things can never be exactly as they were, and can rarely be exactly what you want, and letting go and moving on are necessary parts of life eventually.

Don't misunderstand! I do think Gideon will either be resurrected (perhaps the last true one ever) or there will be another way for her and Harrow to happily be together. In Gideon's case, there was nothing natural about her death, and the decision to say "no" is a rejection of the system that led to it.

I just also think the odds of rewriting the laws of life and death entirely are more likely than Lyctorhood But With No Consequences. It always has consequences. There is no Perfect Lyctorhood, but there's something good on the horizon, whatever form it takes. After all...

"There are more worlds than this. Come with us. We are the love that is perfected by death, but even death will be no more. Death can also die. There's still time, Ianthe. Time for you and for Naberius Tern."

[phantasmicfish]

So I saw Dune Part 2 yesterday and I was initially super crushed because of the deviation from book canon but the more I think about it the more I sorta like it…

So without further ado here’s a list of stuff I liked about Dune Part 2:

- all the scenes initially of Paul growing closer to the Fremen. You can clearly see that they become friends, accept him as a Feydakin, that they’re laughing, joking, hanging out. (And contrast that to the end of the movie, where Paul has no more Fremen friends, only followers. In the book, this is echoed, where Paul recognizes that he has lost his friends to the Muad’Dib religion. Take book Stilgar, who truly embodies this… by the end of the book, Paul says: “I have seen a friend [Stilgar] become a worshipper.”

- giving Chani explicit rejection of Paul’s messiah status was an interesting choice. Chani’s main thought over part 2 is that they don’t need religion to save them, that through Fremen power and desert power, the Fremen can save themselves. She recognizes that this fanatical worship can be a vehicle to control and enslave her people, and I sorta wish we saw Paul lean into that more… that they found a way to stay together and ‘fight’ the prophecy together based on Chani’s ideals…

- also, I love how engrained this rejection of religion and prophecy is in her character. Book Chani takes no issue with her Fremen name, Sihaya (desert spring), but movie Chani hates it “because it’s part of some prophecy.” Later, we see that despite her rejection of prophecy and religion, that the prophecy does indeed come to pass— the tears of desert spring save Him aka, Chani saving Paul after he drinks The Water of Life. (Interesting how Jessica has to force Chani to save Paul using the Voice… another example of Jessica explicitly forcing Paul to become the messiah).

- adding more depth to Fremen culture— the South being the more religious fundamentalist tribes vs the North being more secular. Early on, the movie paints this immediate divide between the tribes of Fremen who accept Paul and Jessica versus those who treat them as offworlders (who murdered Jamis). In the books everyone accepts Paul and Jessica after Paul bests Jamis and Jessica quotes some scripture, but I think it makes more logical sense that there’d be friction over these two random offworlders coming in

- I love love loved Paul speaking at the meeting of the Fremen tribe leaders in the South. He fully accepts his messiah status, exercises his power of the Voice + his prescience as a way to command all the Fremen under his name

- I’m a big fan of omitting the two-year time skip, so with that I’m glad Leto II was skipped over entirely. I always felt that Leto II was an unnecessary character addition to the book, especially when he just dies and everyone sort of goes “oh well” and moves on, so I’m glad it’s omitted.

- another interesting choice was to paint Jessica as a straight up villain in comparison to the way her book counterpart was not. The movie Jessica we see here is seemingly corrupted by the Water of Life: she walks around talking to herself (Alia) and scheming Paul’s ascent to Lisan-Al Gaib. She knows about the Holy War, which is the very thing Paul is trying to prevent, yet she expresses no concern about bringing it to fruition. (Probably because Jessica knows it’s impossible to prevent, but still.) The very last line of the movie, where Alia asks Jessica what’s going on and Jessica says “The Holy War has begun” is just total villain in my mind— explicit acceptance of the Holy War, like it’s just another stepping stone in her plan. Plus, the fact that Paul has visions of Jessica leading him into this period of great starvation totally cements her as a villian.

- going off of that, I like that we see Jessica undergoing actual agony when she takes The Water of Life. When book Jessica and Paul take The Water of Life they accept it calmly and without obvious pain (book Jessica was sitting with her eyes closed, as if sleeping), so this physical reaction that Jessica has to the poison adds to the idea that The Water of Life did change her in a negative way.

- I feel like so far we’ve been introduced to Alia as just a weird talking fetus who’s been consorting with Jessica, so Paul’s vision where Alia says “I love you” really strikes home, that she really does care for Paul which we might not have understood otherwise

[martiniluvr]

18+ minors dni

1,000 follower celebration!! I love u all wow. thank you for all your support, truly. be warned, this is long. enjoy 💫

warnings: nsfw alphabet for dick grayson and jason todd, so there’s a variety of things under the cut. please proceed with caution 🩷

★・・・★・・・★・・・★

A | Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

jason is very different after sex. it’s a major act of trust for him, so when it’s done, all he really wants is to be close to you. in other words: he’s a big cuddler. he’ll mumble some things into your skin as you run your fingers through his hair, and after, you usually end up ordering enough food to feed a small family, because that man can eat.

dick is a loverboy at heart. once the dust has settled and you’re both down from your highs, he’s doting on you—bringing you water, a snack, cleaning you up with a damp cloth—with doe eyes and a big old grin. always invites you to have a shower with him afterwards, and you always say yes, because his shoulder rubs are divine.

B | Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

unsurprisingly, jason has some…issues with his body from all the shit it’s been through. that being said, I think he intentionally trains his back and shoulders the most. it’s what makes him look as huge as he does. as for his favourite thing about you, jason todd is an ass man, argue with the wall. he likes something he can grab. hard.

dick grayson knows his ass is fat. he’s not shy about it. but his favourite body part is actually his arms, and how muscular they’ve become over the years. as for you, he loves your hips. they trigger something primal in him; the second you put on a fitted dress, he’s thinking about giving you his children.

C | Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

jason gets nasty. he’ll cum anywhere on your body just for the obscene sight, but he especially loves to cum in your mouth when he’s feeling that extra bit dominant. he doesn’t care if you spit or swallow, it turns him on either way—but, god, he’s proud when you open your mouth to show him it’s all gone.

let’s cut to the chase. dick wants to cum inside you over and over again. he hardly even contemplates doing it anywhere else; that man wants to fill you up and watch you drip. maybe it’s his out-of-control breeding kink, maybe it’s how intimate it feels—whatever the case may be, rest assured dick grayson loves a creampie.

D | Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

voyeurism. jason likes to watch. it happened accidentally once when he walked in on you practicing some self-care, and he’s thought about it ever since. he enjoys the performance aspect of it; it’s a power play, watching you get yourself off, knowing he’s right there but refusing to help you.

this ties in with Q, but dick borders on exhibitionism sometimes. fucking you in his car, in the bathroom at a charity event, or in a changing room—anywhere you might get caught, really—god, it gets him going. it’s the daredevil in him, constantly yearning to test the limits of what he can do.

E | Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I think jason had very limited to no experience before his death, and most of what knows today he learned by being with you. ever the fast learner, though, he sure as shit knows what he’s doing now. I think he’s very in-tune with your body and his needs, and it shows in the way he fucks you.

we have to face facts here. dick definitely got around before committing to a serious relationship. despite that, I think he knows what he’s doing thanks to his impeccable observational skills; sometimes you think he knows your body better than you do (but don’t tell him that; it goes straight to his head).

F | Favorite position (this goes without saying)

jason is a sucker for good old-fashioned doggy style, of course, but fuck, does he adore the prone bone position. trapping you under his body, hitting you deep with each thrust, and he gets to watch your ass jiggle at every movement? it borders on religious ecstasy for him.

dick goes feral—feral—for the mating press position. it’s erotic, carnal, and raw, and that’s exactly what he wants when he’s fucking you. he’s also partial to cowgirl, especially when he can tell you want to take control. the view it offers him is enough to have him whining underneath you for more.

G | Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

jason is more on the serious side; sex with him, intense as it may be, is still a big act of vulnerability on his part, so he doesn’t treat it lightly. he will, however, crack a warm smile on those occasions when you make love in the small hours of the morning, when he thinks you can’t see his face clearly.

dick is a tease, and sex with him is fun. he likes to flirt with you while he bends you into compromising positions, and he gets very cocky when you cum. he can’t help but make little quips after the fact, either; “something wrong with your leg, baby?” as your limbs twitch and tremble from your orgasm. jerk.

H | Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

in keeping with his rugged exterior, jason is only doing what he needs to in order to keep things manageable and convenient. he is not dedicating hours to manscaping. much to your elation, that means he keeps his happy trail intact.

dick is a little more meticulous in his grooming, being the “pretty boy” that he is. he prefers keeping himself neatly trimmed, partly to ensure more comfort in his nightwing suit—he’s learned the hard way that the pornstar look is a one-way ticket to chafing when you’re jumping off of buildings.

I | Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

jason really restrains himself from being outwardly intimate. he finds it hard to be that vulnerable, and while he loves the passion between you when you fuck, he’s only really able to tap into the romantic aspect if he’s wholly at ease. that’s not to say it never happens! it definitely does, just give him time.

he may be cocky and unserious when he’s fucking you, but sex with dick is always very openly intimate. he sees the beauty and romance in what you do together, and it’s truly special to him that he gets to witness you like this. sex is absolutely one of the ways he expresses his love and admiration for you.

J | Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

jason only really masturbates when he’s away from you on a mission, and needs to take the edge off. it’s less interesting without you, so he wants it done quick. he imagines you touching yourself as he does it—legs wide and eyes hazy—and that gets him to his peak extremely efficiently.

dick likes to edge himself. I said what I said. he’s thinking about how he’d much rather save his load for your pretty cunt, so he’s bucking his hips and screwing his eyes shut as he forces himself to stop right before his climax, reminding himself how good it’ll feel when he gets to fill you up.

K | Kink (one or more of their kinks)

overstimulation is jason’s go-to; he gets off on dragging orgasm after orgasm out of you until you’re hardly able to speak. he also loves forced eye contact, especially when you can barely keep your eyes open. oh, and he has a massive size kink. when you’re as huge as he is, everyone is small by comparison, and he likes how big you make him feel.

say it with me. dick grayson has a breeding kink. the visual aspect of cumming inside you is enough to drive him crazy, but the thought of getting you pregnant…now that makes him rabid. face-sitting is another big one; any variation of pussy-eating drives him wild, but having you sit on his face is his favourite way to do it.

L | Location (favorite places to do the do)

if you’re at home, anywhere is fair game to jason. he’s fucking you in the kitchen, in the bedroom, on the sofa, against the wall, in the office—anywhere. outside of home, he’s more restrictive, but he has thought about fucking you in the batmobile on the many occasions he’s stolen it.

the bedroom is definitely dick’s favourite place to fuck you; aside from making things feel more romantic, he wants you to be comfortable as he’s bending you into crazy positions. he also loves a shower quickie and car sex, impractical though they may be. don’t worry, he’s an acrobat. it’ll work.

M | Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

is it crazy to say that jason gets turned on when you argue? because he does. a moderate disagreement where you’re getting huffy with him is a surefire way to get bent over the sofa. oh, and if he feels even a little jealousy creeping over him, you’re in for a ride. also, if you nestle into him during the night, you’ll be contending with his hard cock pressed against your lower back until one of you caves.

dick is whipped. whatever you’re doing can get him going. cooking, reading, wearing his clothes—he loves everything you do. but, he’s particularly turned on whenever you dress up for a special occasion. it can be a little inconvenient when you’re running late for an event and he’s groping you over your gown in the limo, but how can you refuse those blue eyes?

N | No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

jason would be very resistant to anything that puts him in a submissive role (this goes for ak!jason too). this includes both sex acts and the use of props/toys that take control away from him; he’s just not into it. he’d also refuse any kind of roleplay, saying it’s unnecessary. he’s a pragmatic guy.

I think dick would really dislike the idea of hurting you. he’s not opposed to spanking, and he’ll even engage in some light breath play (ahem, headlock, anyone?), but he would never take it any further than that. if he bruised you through anything other than hickies, he’d be sick with guilt.

O | Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

it should come as no surprise that jason loves receiving head. there are few sights as enticing as watching you take his cock in your mouth while he instructs you to keep your eyes on him. he’s also very skilled in returning the favour, and his preference is eating you from the back so he can see your pretty ass move each time you squirm.

you know my stance on this. dick is a munch. he’s eating pussy like it’s his last meal before the end of the world, and he’s doing it for him. needless to say, he’s fucking good at it. receiving head is quite literally the last thing on his mind. that being said, when he does remember to let you reciprocate, all he can think about is how pretty you look while doing it.

P | Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

jason can get pretty rough, and he likes to fuck you hard, but he knows how much you can take. sex for him is partially an emotional release. but, he’s good at alternating between destroying you one day and being gentle the next; despite his tough facade, jay enjoys soft, passionate sex as much—if not more—than you do.

dick is kind of a hedonist; once he starts feeling pleasure, he doesn’t want it to end—especially when you start feeling it too. he’s happy to give you fast and rough if it’s what you want, but his preference is sloppy, erotic fucking. the messier you get, the better. although, if he’s got you in a mating press, the roughness seeps back in quickly.

Q | Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

while he’ll never say no to a quickie, jason prefers to take his time with you. once he starts, he finds it hard to stop, and he loves to see how much you can take from him before you’re spent. quickies are sporadic with him; he prefers to enjoy your body at his pace.

if he gets the chance to fuck you—hell, even just tease you—dick is going to take it. he loves the thrill and the sense of urgency that comes with quickies. whether it’s a hookup in his car or an impromptu blowjob when he’s supposed to be on patrol, his eyes are lighting up like it’s christmas.

R | Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

jason is not a risk-taker. he needs time to warm to any kind of experimentation, but he’s more likely to try things on you than on himself, like using light restraints on you or dabbling in sensory play. as long as he feels he has some control.

dick is a different story. he’s willing to try most things at least once, and he’s able to laugh it off if something goes south. he’s not opposed to switching (ha) things up and giving you the lead, either; he likes a woman in charge.

S | Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

maybe it’s his extensive training, maybe it’s just who he is; whatever the case may be, jason can go for a long time. but, it’s usually just one round that he draws out so he can really work you to your limit.

dick can handle multiple rounds if you give him time. his recovery consists of burying his face between your legs until he’s ready to go again, which doesn’t take very long once you start convulsing against his tongue.

T | Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

jason wouldn’t even think to use sex toys unless you brought it up, but he’d be open to using them on you if you asked. he’s quick to see the potential in your little pink vibrator when he holds it against your clit while he fucks you, noticing how much easier it is to overstimulate you this way.

ever the experimentalist, dick isn’t opposed to trying out toys in the bedroom. in fact, he’s the one who would show up with fuzzy blue handcuffs (“I got them in my colour!”) to restrain your hands behind your back, so he can devour your cunt without interference from you.

U | Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he’d like to tease you more, but jason doesn’t really have the restraint for it. as soon as you’re splayed out in front of him, he wants to take you. when he does tease, though, he likes to touch you everywhere but where you need him most, until you’re begging for him to make you feel good. then, he likes to make you regret it—over and over again.

dick is the world’s biggest tease, and you can look that up. he’s got you grinding on his lap, making out with you until you’re panting, only to say he needs to do some work as he stands up with a smirk. and when he finally gets you naked, he makes you tell him what you need while his fingers hover over your aching pussy, never reaching you.

V | Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

jason isn’t very loud at all, but the sounds he does make range from grunts and groans to the occasional low moan if you tug at the hair on the nape of his neck. he’s a big dirty talker, and he likes to get up in your ear to do it, so he knows you’re listening. he notices the way you shiver at his gravelly voice, and it drives him crazy.

dick is far less concerned about being quiet. he’s moaning, swearing, telling you how pretty you are, even occasionally whining, and he’s not worried about what your neighbours think—in fact, he’s making sure you’re just as vocal as he is, insisting you tell him how you feel. he’s also expressive when he cums, especially when he does it inside you.

W | Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

I know this is controversial, but jason would never agree to a threesome. this man is possessive. the mere thought of seeing someone else touch you in front of him is enough to make him see red, so no—he’d end up committing murder (not that it’s a far leap for him on a good day).

dick has a thing for watching you work out, especially when you’re doing yoga in the living room in those skin-tight pants. watching the way your limbs elongate and contract as you bend and stretch does things to him, but he never interrupts; the images stay in his mind for those long missions.

X | X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

jason is a behemoth of a man all over. and I do mean all over. he’s packing. an easy 8 inches (slightly more), thick, with a slight upwards curve and a prominent vein from the base to the tip—which is a mauvy pink, by the way. you’re still shocked you’re able to take him, and he was too the first time.

‘prettiest man alive also has a pretty cock’ would be dick’s headline. just over 6 inches, with enough girth to make you feel full, and a rosy pink tip that matches his lips…you could honestly just stare at it if he’d let you (and he probably would). he fits you like a glove every single time.

Y | Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

jason’s sex drive is pretty consistent; it’s always simmering a little ways below the surface. he’s able to compartmentalise it when he has to, but sex doubles as a form of stress-relief for him, so it happens…often.

dick has an incredibly high sex drive. like jason, he can reel it in when needed, but if it were up to him, you’d fuck every single day, twice even. I also truly believe that he’s regularly plagued by morning wood.

Z | Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he’s going to make sure you’re comfortable and taken care of, but the truth is jason could probably pass out in your arms about 10 minutes after you’re done. take it as a sign of how safe he feels with you as he’s snoring softly into your neck.

he’s definitely tired after sex, but dick is waiting until he notices you dozing off before he closes his eyes. once he’s out, though, good luck waking him up again without an air horn. he’s going to need his full eight hours to recharge.

[taeyongdoyoung]

lobos, we cannot stop hunting

summary: the full moon comes and you insist on staying with your best friend despite his valiant warnings to make you run away from him... pairing: werewolf!chan x reader genre: smut, fantasy, best friends to lovers warnings: *takes a deep breath* heat suppressants, hugging, werewolf transformation, kissing, making out, hair-pulling, eating out, begging, fingering, overstimulation, consent is established multiple times, slightly mean dom!chan but overall a sweetheart, praise+degradation, size kink (duh), unprotected sex on the floor, knotting, breeding kink, mating *exhales* author's note: happy halloween, baby stays!!! 🐺 make sure to get some yummy treats and always remember to say the magic words please and thank you 😈 but ESPECIALLY please as the king of the wolves taught us 😉🛐 word count: 1.8k

"It's a full moon tonight," your werewolf best friend Chan says.

"So?" you murmur, not even bothering to look up from your phone. Those F1 reels that keep popping up on your feed are so interesting! "You've got your pills and stuff? You'll be fine, same as always."

"I ran out, actually," Chan scratches the back of his head nervously.

You put down your phone. Sorry, sexy F1 guys, you can wait.

"Can't you get more?" you ask him.

"No, my doctor is out of town. It's his anniversary with his wife and his phone is turned off."

"Goddamnit, Chan, and you tell me that now?" you are immediately worried about your best friend.

Before he started these pills, Chan told you that the full moon was like really bad on him. As in, he was completely out of control and had these...urges that he had to take care of by himself. Basically, he was in a lot of pain. He's been using these pills for the last two years and they've been working miraculously. Chan was pretty much like a human during the usually dangerous for werewolves full moon. Thankfully, his doctor has been very helpful in giving him plenty of these amazing pills.

"I'm sorry...I thought I had one left but I must have miscalculated."

"Chan, I keep telling you to write these stuff down in advance," you shake your head. "What are you going to do tonight?"

"Suffer through it, I guess. I was just giving you a heads-up so you can get out of here...like right about now."

"What? No way I'm leaving you alone!" you argue passionately. "What if you die?"

"Uh, I'm pretty sure I won't. But you don't get it, without my pills, I could unwittingly put you in danger. My best chance to make sure I'm not a menace to civilized society is to lock the door and tie myself up or something."

"That sounds horrible!" you cry out, feeling intense sympathy for your best friend. "I don't want to leave you alone."

"You have to!" Chan insists. "I would hate myself if I hurt you."

"You won't!" you keep trying to persuade him. "I trust you more than anyone else in the universe."

Chan shakes his head, still hesitant.

"Please, you should leave before the moon comes up."

Little does he know it has already begun to rise...

"No, I'm not leaving you," you keep saying and wrap your arms around him.

Chan desperately tries to push you away. But it is too late.

As the moon's power grows, so does his. The only thing that prevents you from continuing to embrace him is his oncoming transformation. Your arms fall weakly to your side as you witness the impossible. His generally tender, adorable features quickly turn into sharp, wolflike and kind of intimidating ones, if you have to be honest. But this is your best friend, your Chan, you keep reminding yourself. And all the fear disappears from your body. As you kneel down next to him, you run your hand through his soft fur, trying to pet him.

He initially snarls and tries to scare you off but the more you insist, the more he relaxes under your gentle touch. God, you can't believe he was afraid he'd harm you. He's just...a big puppy.

You can't resist the temptation and you hug him again. He's so fluffy you're gonna die! And then, the unimaginable happens. He fucking purrs! Oh dear, if you had already been having a hard time trying to hide your feelings for your best friend, then seeing him like this would surely be your demise.

Then, unexpectedly, he shifts back to his human form, taking you by surprise. One, because that was faster than you'd expected. Two, because he's entirely naked, but doesn't seem perturbed by it. You try your best to look him in the eyes because uh...you're still not sure where this is going.

"Please, go, I don't think I can control myself any longer," Chan begs.

"Control what?" you're so confused. "I already witnessed you in your wolf form, you seem pretty chill."

"It's not my wolf form you should be scared of," Chan warns darkly.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, if you don't get out of my sight in the next ten seconds, I'll fuck you until you pass out. And maybe even after that."

Oh? Wait...OH!!!

"Was that supposed to be a threat or a promise?" you quirk your eyebrows at him.

"Hold on, don't tell me you're actually excited by the prospect?" Chan wants to make sure.

"I mean...don't threaten me with a good time," you shrug calmly.

Chan kneels next to you, grabbing your hands tightly.

"I'm serious right now, don't play with me."

"What makes you think I'm not serious? I trust you, I want you, I lo- Uh, I like you a lot, whatever you do, that won't change," you mentally curse yourself for almost saying the big L-word. You hope he didn't catch that.

Judging from Chan's expression, he seems pretty satisfied with your statement.

"Well, don't say I didn't warn you," he whispers and kisses you harshly, biting your lips and making a mess.

Your mouths are linked by an unending streak of saliva, but honestly you couldn't care less as he claims you, pushing his tongue deeper down your throat, gripping your hair with his fingers for better access. You are already melting. You spoke too soon. You are definitely not ready for this. But you wouldn't be able to make him stop, even if you wanted to.

"Last chance," Chan breaks the kiss to give you the opportunity to back out. To get out of here while you still can.

"Do your worst," you challenge him recklessly and he kisses you again, even harder than before if that is possible.

You know that your best friend, despite his shy and cute demeanour, is physically stronger and bigger than you, but seeing him like this, completely losing control is such a thrill you make sure to commit the picture to memory as vividly as you can.

Chan takes off your clothes in a hurry and just like a hungry wolf, attacks your pussy. And starts devouring it as if it's his last meal on Earth. He doesn't even make the effort to get to the couch, which is so close. He just takes you right there, on the floor. You shake uncontrollably, but he grips your thighs to stop you from moving.

"Please, please, please," you keep repeating even though you have no idea what you're asking for. For him to keep going? For him to stop? You don't know anymore.

"I like it when you beg," Chan smirks against your folds and dives back in, swimming in your water.

It doesn't take you long to burst, completely letting go for him.

"Fuck, you're so beautiful," he praises you, not giving you time to recover and tracing circles around your entrance with his big fingers.

"No, you," you whisper weakly, trying to make him slow down by pushing his hand away. Needless to say, your efforts are in vain. "I'm s-sensitive."

Chan laughs cruelly.

"You can take it," his words are meant to be reassuring but they're not, as he sticks his finger inside of you.

It's just one but it's already so thick you are beginning to lose your mind.

"C-chan, p-please," you cry for him.

"What is it, sweetheart? You want another?" he mocks your lack of coherence and adds a second finger without waiting for your approval.

"N-no, I c-can't," you shake your head desperately.

"Yes, you can," Chan seems fully convinced, adding a third finger. "You're so tiny, gotta stretch you up real good to be able to take my cock next. Don't you want that, babygirl?"

"Yes, I want it," you are quick to agree and do your best to relax for his big fingers.

"Gonna let me take this sweet pussy with my wolf cock? Claim you as mine? Give you my pups?" he asks gently, his unrestrained actions in complete contrast with his sweet words.

"Yes, yes! Gonna let you breed me like the stupid bitch I am," you answer, degrading yourself in the process.

"That's what I like to hear, darling," Chan praises you and makes you come again on his fingers.

You are almost about to pass out. But somehow you manage to hold on for the next part. You want to feel it. Every second of it.

"Are you sure?" he asks once again, melting your heart.

"I've never been more sure about anything in my life," you reaffirm your belief in him.

Chan doesn't wait for a second offer and slides his cock inside of you. Fucking hell, if you thought his fingers were pretty huge, his manhood is on a whole different level. You try to adjust to his monstrous size and focus on his beautiful eyes instead. He's still your Chan, your sweet-

"Fuck, your pussy's so small, gonna rip you in half," Chan grunts loudly.

Okay, not so sweet after all.

"Please, don't. Or do, it's fine by me," you attempt to make a joke.

He laughs and kisses you again, going in deeper. You wrap your hands around his neck in a tremendous effort to ground you, help you remain conscious through it all.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Chan keeps talking meanly. "Want me to ruin that tiny pussy of yours?"

"Yes, yes, I want it all," you repeat mindlessly, not caring about the consequences anymore.

Then, as if by some miracle, you feel his cock growing even more while inside of you. Is that even possible? You thought it was just a myth.

Luckily, you're wetter than ever and your pussy easily swallows his knot.

"Gonna fuck you full of my cum, make you my mate, is that okay?" Chan wants to be sure.

"It's okay, Chan, I'll be your mate," you promise, not even sure what that means. But whatever it is, you're fine with it, as long as it's with Chan...

Then, he releases his wolf seed inside of your pussy, making you feel so full, so warm, so complete.

"Take it, baby, I know you can," he reassures you and you do your best to accept his overflowing victory.

It is a total mystery how you still haven't passed out. But you're grateful for it. You'd like to treasure this moment forever.

"I don't think I'll be able to let go of you anytime soon," Chan chuckles softly, still inside of you.

"That's alright, I think I can get used to this," you respond happily, kissing him again.

"Great. 'Cause I don't plan to ever stop hunting you, my sweet little prey," Chan vows.

"I am but a willing victim to whatever it is the full moon did to you," you smile contentedly.

"And if it's not just the full moon?" Chan asks, biting your earlobe playfully with his sharp teeth. "What if I want to have my way with you every night?"

"Who needs sleep anyways?"

The End

[theeeveetamer]

My favorite thing about Dante and Vergil is just how they constantly match each other's energy. Like I know DMC5 is a lot more explicit about how Vergil is a silly lil guy underneath the veneer of seriousness, but I wanted to highlight a few of the Vergil lines/exchanges/moments from DMC3 that demonstrate... yeah he was kinda always like this

From right before the first Vergil fight in DMC3:

Dante: You sure know how to throw a party. No food, no drinks, and the only babe just left. Vergil: My sincerest apologies, brother. I was so eager to see you I couldn't concentrate on the preparations for the bash.

I find this one especially fun because pretty much every other boss you fight in DMC (like the entire series) just gets huffy and angry and yells about annihilating Sparda or something. Vergil is probably one of the few major bosses that snarks back

2. After Vergil gets Beowulf he does the Dante thing of playing around with his new weapon

3. From right before the second Vergil fight:

Dante: It doesn't matter to me one way or the other. More importantly, I've come all this way. I'm sure you have time for one more game… right Vergil: Why not? After all we share the same blood… I'll just use more of yours to undo daddy's little spell.

Something about "daddy's little spell" is just so irreverent and funny

4. From right after the second Vergil fight:

Vergil: It is time for the clown to bow out, Arkham. Dante: Dude, the show's over!

To me it comes off like Dante's spring-boarding off of Vergil's theater metaphor that with the "show's over!" line. Vergil set him up for that one

5. This bit at the start of the Arkham fight which Vergil was NOT present for:

Dante: Dude, my father wasn't so hideous. Can't you tell by looking at me? Anyway that shape suits you better. Let's begin the main event!

Followed by this exchange midway through the fight:

Dante: Look at you, making a big dramatic entrance and stealing my spotlight. Vergil: Well... You don't possibly believe that he deserves to be our main event now do you?

Vergil wasn't exactly present for Dante's "let's begin the main event!" line, which means he just came up with the same thing completely independently? That, or he was watching and just decided to wait for the most dramatic possible moment to jump in. Either way, it adds silly lil guy points (either for being just like his brother or for timing a dramatic entrance)

6. Same fight scene, the finger waggle Vergil does as he says "You should come to realize you cannot control the power of Sparda."

7. The classic:

But also the way Vergil immediately knows exactly what Dante is talking about when he says "Remember what we used to say?" and he smiles about it

[kenzdolls]

KEIGO TAKAMI RELATIONSHIP HCS .

⌗ pairing: keigo takami (hawks) x gn! pro-hero! reader ⌗ tags: hawks x reader, keigo takami x reader, keigo x reader, mha x reader, bnha x reader

⌗ side note: [this is a re-fixed post to align with my new theme for my blog]

FIRST TIME MEETING:

▹ he clocks you immediately during a hero meeting. it's not just your hero costume (though, let's be real, he appreciates a good design). he's sizing you up strategically, noting your power, your demeanor, and how you interact with the other heroes. it's professional... at first.

▹ your first real conversation happens during a joint mission. maybe you're both tracking a villain known for their swift escapes, and you end up covering the rooftops together.

▹ he'll make a comment about your performance in the mission. he will call you by 'miss/sir', as it is only professional. but he will compliment you, no matter what goes wrong.

▹ he's observant. he notices small details about you – the way you handle your quirk, the way you interact with civilians, even the brand of coffee you're sipping. this info goes straight into his mental file labeled "things i find interesting about [reader's hero name]."

▹ he's testing the waters, dropping subtle hints. a casual "maybe we should grab coffee sometime and compare notes?" is pure hawks – playing it cool while secretly wanting to know everything about you.

HIM FALLING IN LOVE:

▹ he starts "coincidentally" showing up where you are. training facilities, hero galas, even that one yakitori place you love. he'll play it off as being in the area, but we all know better.

▹ teasing. SO MUCH TEASING. he'll poke fun at your hero name, your costume quirks, anything he can get away with. but it's always lighthearted and playful, never mean-spirited. it's his way of gauging your reactions and pushing your buttons (in a good way, of course).

▹ feather messages become your new norm. they arrive at your agency, your apartment, maybe even during a stakeout. short, silly notes or helpful Intel, always signed with a mischievous feather flourish.

▹ he seeks you out specifically during large gatherings. he is a social butterfly, but he will try to talk to you. he will always try to have you close to him than other people.

▹ he starts confiding in you about the commission, about his doubts and worries. he doesn't do this with just anyone. you're earning his trust, and with keigo, that's a BIG deal.

HIM AS S/O:

▹ dates are never stuffy or predictable. think rooftop picnics with a city view, late-night patrols fueled by convenience store snacks, and impromptu karaoke sessions. he keeps it fun and spontaneous.

▹ he’s 100% a TOUCHER. a hand on your back, a playful nudge, a casual arm around your shoulders. nothing too intense, but always a reminder that he's there and he's into you. he’s a simp.

▹ PDA is subtle but sweet. no grand gestures, but you might find him absentmindedly playing with your hair while you're talking, or leaning in close to whisper something in your ear.

▹ he sends you pictures of chickens. sometimes he “finds” them on the side of the street. or see them in the pet store. if he does see chickens, he will send it to you.

▹ he opens up more about his past, about his fears and his dreams. he is still guarded, but he lets you see glimpses of the real keigo takami, the one behind the wings and the bravado.

▹ he's fiercely protective. Not in a controlling way, but he's always looking out for you, making sure you're safe and comfortable. he'll take on any villain who dares to threaten you.

▹ he makes corny jokes, especially chicken/bird-related ones.

▹ he will make you feel the safest you've ever felt in your life. after everything he has went through, he will try to protect you with his life.

▹ falling asleep on his wings is the best thing ever. just don't be surprised when you wake up covered in feathers.

© kenzdolls 2025 — don’t post, copy, or plagiarize my work.

[mohntilyet]

about illario working with the venatori, we can't forget that elgar'nan gifted him blood magic, so I do think that he somewhat influenced him and that's why he's so much more vindictive and jealous in comparison to tevinter nights. I don't mean that he's being mind controlled, but it's a bit like cyrian, a god just amplifying those negative emotions in you and promising power and glory can push a person to that edge and to make stupid af decisions.

im also not forgetting that zara line in inner demons where she talks about an envy demon. like. why an envy demon in specific...there's THINGS between zara and illario that were not shown

no literally if you get me talking about illario + envy + the possibility of getting him possessed, you will have me here for fucking ever. a non mage doing blood magic (any magic at all) is really weird and interesting to me and i don’t remember an example of this happening before (feel free to correct me tho lol. i’m discounting possessions and dwarves)

i had started wildly theorising after bloodbath that he had been possessed and he was tapping into the fade using an envy demon. especially like you said, zara mentions it, AND because i swear there’s a codex in the ossuary where it mentions an envy demon whereas spite is obviously determination, right? so i thought it was a breadcrumb trail to a big “illario is being influenced and doesn’t even know” reveal— same as you anon like great minds am i right— but i’m not sure there is actually any evidence of that lol. like maybe if you squint but i do believe it was explained away by “oh yeah, and elgarnan let him do special blood magic”

it does also make sense to me that illario can only control lucanis, due to being part of the same family. a bloodline thing, and it is very poetic to me that their shared family connection in caterina is what allows him to control lucanis, even for a moment lol. spite being the extra magical boost that lucanis needs to block that out ALSO makes sense to me so i’m not too fussed abt these details lol🤔

the envyllario in my heart also gets spectral weapons for himself. lucanis gets wings, illario gets talons, PLUS green-purple are complementary colors so it would have been really fun to see them clash with their spirit/demon-powers. the talon thing is also a kind of reflection of his end-goal desire, how envy demons already have those freaky hands, and it manifests as claws and is a much more aggressive, strength-augmenting manifestation (as opposed to manoeuvrability and speed-augmenting that spite’s wings give lucanis.) anyways that's what the diagram above is supposed to be (this is extremely hot to me)

[stickandthorn]

I think most of Adolescence is quite good, some parts of the actual online content were handled clumsily, when they were brought up in depth at all, but overall I think it was a very well made show that was pretty groundbreaking in centering the issue of right wing manosphere incel adjacent online indoctrination of young boys on a platform as big as Netflix. However, the actual content of the show wasn’t necessarily groundbreaking, if you’ve been paying attention to the internet or news recently you know very well everything this show has to say. We’ve been saying this shit. We know.

However, the one part of the show that actually did feel kind of groundbreaking content wise was episode 3, where the psychologist interviews Jamie for the whole episode. I’ve worked in childcare over the last few years, specifically a lot with 9-14 year old nerdy often somewhat socially isolated boys from well off areas. So, a very ripe demographic for this shit to pop up in. The way they portrayed Jamie felt so raw and accurate in a way I’ve never seen before, and a way I think it’s incredibly important for people to see. The subtle ways his misogyny began to rise to the surface, and then lash out all at once, because he knows he needs to hide the depths of his hatred for women, but it still governs his actions.

One of the things that stood out to me especially (amongst many) was the way Jamie tried to wield power. When he wanted power over the psychologist, wanted power in the situation, he behaved in the way a man behaves to control a woman- screaming and throwing things and trying to scare her. As soon as he needs something from her though, as soon as he realizes what her assessment will do to him, and what her ending the session means, he behaves like a child does to an adult. He cries and begs and weeps. Jamie might be 13 but he knows when to switch, because a lot of this online indoctrination is not as brutal and clumsy as you think it is. I’ve dealt with this exact kind of thing myself. 13 is not too young for boys to be indoctrinated this throughly, and I’m glad this show is spelling that out so plainly.

[gay-dorito-dust]

'why's my Bob pouting.' you said softly as you rubbed the furrow in his brow, having noticed that he was a little distant recently, barely spending time with you and chose to withdraw himself in his room instead, something that happened often when your friend Jaoquin was visitng.

'why are you with me?' he asks, looking at you with worryful blue eyes as he gestures towards the door weakly matched with a even weaker smile, 'Joaquin is probably waiting for you as we speak so i don't want to keep you away from him any longer.' He adds defeatedly, as though he's willing to admit he's fighting a loosing battle with the way that his thoughts told him that you and Joaquin better suited together then you and him did whenever he watched you catch up recently.

Joaquin was an acomplished Avenger -the newly apointed Falcon- a confident man with dashing good looks, a carefree personality that could draw anyone in if his bright and viberant smile didn't, and his heart was kind as his soul shine brighter then he did as The Sentry. Whereas Bob was a man delt with a bad hand of fate which had blessed him with you in his life -not that he was complaining at all, you were the blessing he had been waiting for- and inbuded with immense powers he had yet to control; that and how he had almost consumed New York into a massive shadow as The Void, something he had forgotten during the time, but was quickly caught up on thanks to you and the rest of the team.

You frowned, grabbing his hand and intertwining your fingers with his, raising it to your lips and kissed his knuckles as you looked him in the eyes. 'Your mind may think that i'd be better off with Joaquin but you're wrong, so very wrong it hurts me to know that you really think that becuase all we do is talk about you.' you admitted to him as you saw Bob perk up at this, looking at you like the confused puppy dog that you often mistaken him as with his big eyes and shaggy brown hair you loved to run your hands through constantly.

'what about me?' Bob sounded as though he was afraid to ask, which only made your heart hurt even more when you realised that you may have implanted the wrong image inside his head, especially so when telling him that you talked about him to the very man he was comparing himself to. Bob on the other hand felt like he was drowining from his overwhelming thoughts that told him things that he knew was wrong, but was in too much of a slump to fight back against in the slightest fear that his thoughts were right about something for once.

'Whatever your mind is making you think it's not like that, never, ever woould it belike that.' You told him as you dropped his hand to grasp his face between your palms, caressing the dark bags under his eyes as you looked at him with a serious expression, the most serious he's ever seen you after you had pulled him out of the void with everyone else. 'When i had a crush on you i would talk to Joaquin about waht to do becuase i didn't think i deserved you -my beautiful man- but he was the one who encouraged me to take a chance and to take the leap and tell you how i felt or else he'd tell you himelf becuase he was that sick of me gushing about you.' You smiled at the memory when you had made an impromptu two am phone call with Joqauin when you first developed feelings for Bob.

'(name) i love you, i do, but i swear if i hear you talk about how you want to climb Bob like a koala one more time, i'll leak all of this to him in order to get you to confess.' He had told you, to which you gapsed and said you wouldn't, only for Joaquin to reply with; 'Tell him then! i can assure you that he'll be estatic, giddy even becuase i can tell that man is as smitten with you as you are with him!'

Joaquin turned out to be right as the moment you confessed to Bob months later after a mission gone ary, you swore you've never seen a man's face light up like Bob's did when you told him that you loved him. You swore you've nevere seen a more beautiful sight with how he smiled, looking as though his face would split in two with how hard he was smiling, the soft look within his eyes and the glow of the light bleeding in through the nearby window; giving him an even softer look that borderlined angelic. Bob had took your breath away many times, and that wasn't including the amount of times you had kissed the man senseless and had been kissed as sensless in return.

Joaquin even bragged how he had singlehandely brought you both together, teasing you relentlessly about how obvious it was from the start that something was bound to happen between you, always trying to point out the glaring signs that the man you’ve been hopelessly yearning for was equal parts hopelessly yearning for you in turn. He would stop teasing you for a bit, a month actually, but pick back up immediately when he’d noticed how despite being together you still looked at Bob’s back as he made breakfast, as though you were still yearning after him even when confessions were made and feelings were shared between eager kisses and smitten smiles.

‘He’s essentially the biggest supporter of our relationship and would most likely be pissed at himself if he knew he was causing you this much stress.’ You told Bob, hoping it would ease his mind, rid him of the thoughts that made him think you’d ever leave him for Joaquin because you would never leave him; it just wasn’t possible to leave the man who made you feel as though you were walking through a daydream with how he treated you as though there was no one higher then you to worship.

‘Really?’ He asks, leaning further into your hands, looking at you with hopeful eyes that you couldn’t help but lean in and peck his lips once, twice, three times before pulling away smiling sweetly.

‘Really, really.’ You replied. ‘There’s no more room in my heart for another when you’ve took it all for yourself,’ you kissed his forehead, playfully whispering, ‘how greedy of you actually.’

Bob chucked as he pushed his head further against your lips, happy that his worries were for nothing and allowing himself to melt in your affection as you peppered kisses against his face, followed by sweet sweet nothings while his hands preoccupied themselves with the bottom of the sweater you had stolen from him a while back and had no intention of retuning; not that he’d ever want you to as you looked better in it then he did honestly, the first time he saw you in his sweater was a sight Bob would never dare forget.

‘How greedy of me indeed.’ He murmurs, closing his eyes in content from the affection you were freely giving him, something he once didn’t think he deserved but hunger for it and craves it whenever he could. His mind might totally not be at ease but at least he could tell himself that the possibility of you and Joaquin ever happening wouldn’t be of this reality, for in this reality you were his and he was wholeheartedly yours for as long as you’d have him, which he hoped would be for a long, long time.

‘But I don’t mind you being greedy,’ you whispered as your kisses had now scattered across his jawline, ‘not one bit at all because I believe you should be greedy at some point in life, so why not be greedy now after going so long without having something to just call your own.’ You then lightly nipped at the pulse in his neck, smile spreading across your lips upon hearing his breath hitch in his throat, feeling his pulse jolt at the playful bite before closely tucking your head there as you sigh. ‘I wouldn’t mind it at all because I was and still am fully yours since the beginning.’ You concluded, feeling safe against Bob as his arms caged you to him and his large hands rubbed up and down your back like they always did when he wanted to sooth you but also him by reminding himself that you were very much real and with him in this moment and time.

‘And I was and still am fully yours since the very beginning too.’ Bob murmurs back as he peppered kisses against your head and whether he could reach, tightening his hold on you as his large hands rubbed calming patterns into your back. ‘Maybe I should thank Joaquin for bringing us together.’ He jokes and feels you slap his bicep, groaning.

‘His ego is big enough,’ came your muffled voice, ‘don’t make it bigger than it already is before it explodes or something.’

‘Okay I won’t.’ Bob promised, ‘though I still think it’s in thanks to him or else we’d still be wondering whether the other liked each other or not.’ His heart swelled upon hearing you laugh as you began to rub patterns into his chest with your fingers, as though you were trying to send him some coded message of love. ‘Yeah that’s true but right now I’d rather only think about you and no one else.’ You added and Bob swore you still didn’t know the full extent of what you and your words had over him and his poor heart, but he settled for giving your head another kiss as he rested his head atop of yours and allows his eyes to close and his body to relax.

‘Then I’ll think of you and only you then too.’ He says barely above a whisper and soon enough the pair of you were fast asleep upon Bob’s bed, cuddled closely in a sweetheart cradle, where nothing could harm either of you nor come between you with how tightly you clung to one another. So much so that when Joaquin checked to see what was keeping you both and upon seeing you both in the position you were in, he decided to keep quite by closing the door behind him as he left, leaving you both be as you both deserved the rest.

‘Sleep tight love birds.’ He said to himself, happy his two friends were happy and deeply in love.

[bullet-prooflove]

The Perfect Storm: Frank Langdon x Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @julessworldd @yousigned-upforthis @travelingmypassion @julius-ceasar

Summary: Frank's time in North Carolina almost leads to his downfall.

Companion piece to:

Ivy - Frank gets a tattoo to commerate the woman he loves.

Hypocrite - Frank struggles to make amends for a past wrongs.

Crash - Almost getting you fired wasn't the lowest point of Frank's addiction.

Rock Bottom - Frank hits rock bottom when he sees the devastation his addiction's caused.

Little Black Dress - Frank starts to spiral when he realises you're dating.

Every Damn Day - A drunk text leads to a confession.

Wet Dream (NSFW) - Frank sometimes dreams about the life you had together.

War Stories - A realisation about your coping habits leads you to Frank's door.

The Three Cs - Frank and you finally discuss your issues and pave away towards the future.

The Wall - A date at the climbing wall leads to a revelation from Frank.

Commitment - You create a fun way of showing Frank your commitment to the relationship.

At Your Alter - You discover Frank's tattoo when you undress him for the first time.

All In (NSFW) - You and Frank take a big step forward.

Slut (NSFW) - Frank gets a little bratty after a bad day.

Nightmare Fuel - Frank’s been waiting for the fall to come.

Boo Fucking Hoo - Your forced to defend yourself after you’re attacked outside the hospital.

The Incident - Frank’s world is thrown into turmoil when he learns about your attack.

The Filing Cabinet - Things haven't been the same between you and Frank since the attack.

Frank hates North Carolina.

He hates the fact his father fell down the stairs and broke his hip, that his mother insists on having the whole family around to ‘bolster his spirits’. He especially hates that his brother can’t control his fucking demon spawn which is why his cellphone has been residing in a bag of rice for the past two days.

His family do not get why this whole situation stresses him out. They don’t understand that he has a whole support system back in Pittsburgh, one that he very much relies on when he starts to feel that pressure mounting, and that’s exactly what’s starting to happen here.

His father won’t behave himself, absconding in his motorised scooter at every given opportunity. His mother is convinced she can heal Frank’s addiction with the power of positive thinking, he finds rose quartz stuffed into his pillow and under his mattress every night. His brother and sisters drop their kids off at the house like it’s a daycare so it’s a constant swarm of chaos…

That’s not even the worst part, the worst part is that they leave his father’s painkillers right out on the kitchen counter even though Frank has asked them multiple times to put them out of sight because they make his fingers twitch. He’s spent entire evenings on the phone to his sponsor since he’s been here and now that lifelines been cut off.

It doesn’t take a genius to see that this is the perfect storm, which is why Frank packs his bags when he realises his phone isn’t going to power up because he knows he’s not going to last another day without jamming an Oxy down his throat.

He leaves a note for his parents on the kitchen table because they sure as shit aren’t going to listen to anything else he’s going to say before he disappears from the house at four am.

It’s a 90 minute flight from Raleigh. He ends up going straight to The Pitt from the airport because there were delays at security, his wheelie suitcase bounces on the tiles behind him as he heads towards Robby whose surveying the charge board with folded arms.

“You seen Ivy yet?” He asks the other man.

“She is…” Robby pauses, studying him. Frank knows what he must look like right now, exhausted from the nightmare that was his parent’s house, clothes rumpled from his flight. “She’s not here and we… we need to talk.”

“Now is not really a great time.” Frank says, running his hand through his hair, shoving it away from his features. Even to his own ears he sounds manic and truly that’s the way he feels inside, because that grip he has on his sobriety it’s starting to slip and he can’t go back there, he can’t go back to popping pills not if he wants a life with you.

“Frank, you gonna have to make time.” Robby asserts, clasping Frank’s shoulder as he holds up a specimen bottle. “Because from what she told me, I’m gonna need a sample.”

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[bunni-v1]

OOOO do i have a request for you 🤭

THIGH👏RIDING👏

Colonel Caleb in full uniform while MC is grinding desperately on this thigh, wearing absolutely nothing except his hat. She’s all desperate and needy but he’s paying her no mind as he focuses on his work.

+ Caleb being all smug when he walks out of his office with an obvious stain on his black pants after

AGAFAFAGJA

Save a Horse Ride a... Colonel?

🍓I was actually about to stop writing for tonight cause I'd done so much of it but I saw this and fell to my fucking knees. Unfortunately, I don't have the willpower to do a full fic, but please take this humble drabble and kiss my little forehead for my efforts.

TW: Caleb is a little mean, which is a little OOC imo, but y'all can judge; thigh riding; NOT EDITED

Info: Caleb x Reader; NSFW

MDNI

Caleb's uniform was one of your biggest turn-ons recently. While it symbolized some rather unpleasant things for both of you, he looked so fucking hot in the damn thing that it was unfair. The cleanly pressed fabric fit him perfectly, sharp edges giving him an air of command that had you weak in the knees. It was a symbol of power, the literal representation of his ability to control, and you wanted nothing more than to ruin the damn thing.

Caleb was aware of this, of course. What about you wasn't he aware of? The way your touch drew itself along the collar of his jacket. The way your eyes lingered on his hat. Dead giveaways. He didn't press the issue, though. Content to keep you wanting and needing for this, especially since he'd rather feel you skin to skin.

Yet, when you waltzed into his office unannounced with a big smirk on your face, he knew he wouldn't last long. Prancing around like you didn't have an evil little plan brewing, letting you think he was none the wiser to your scheming. He was right, too, when you came over and sat in front of him like the papers he was working on weren't there.

"You need somethin'?" He chuckles, hands finding their place on your thighs.

You don't respond immediately, plucking his hat off his head and resting it on your head with a smirk. His eyes linger on your lips for a little too long, watching the way you seem to glow with pride. You were cute when you thought you were getting away with your silly little schemes. It almost broke his heart that he'd have to hit you with reality sooner or later.

"I was thinkin'," you drawl, and he loves to hear it, cause that's how he talks. You talk like him now, and isn't that just everything a guy could want, "the whole save a horse ride a cowboy thing... could the same apply to a Colonel?"

"You propositioning me, pips?" He hums, leaning forward a little.

"Just wondering..." you sigh, "I know you're busy, though. Don't wanna get in the way."

A dry sigh pushes past his lips, "I am pretty busy, but I think I know a way we can both get what we want."

"Oh yeah...?"

He reaches up to straighten the hat on your head, smiling softly at the sight, "Strip."

The demand is so jarring when pitted against his soft eyes, you almost think you don't hear him right. But his expression falls a little, and he repeats himself, more direct this time.

"Take your clothes off," he pulls you off the desk, tugging at the end of your skirt.

You step back, eyeing him nervously as he leans back in his chair. Legs spread wide, showing off his erection shamelessly, not that he had any reason to hide it from you in the first place. He gestures for you to go ahead when you don't start, so you try and give him a show.

First, your shirt goes, crossing your arms over your body and tugging it over your head inch by inch. His eyes slide over the exposed skin, leaning his head on his hand like he was bored. The bra goes next, dropping to the floor and letting your tits bounce freely. You see his eye twitch at the sight, but he remains stoic otherwise. Shoes and socks get kicked to a forgotten corner of the room, then you focus on sliding your bottoms off.

You take your time with them, knowing he loves to watch you wiggle them down your legs in a struggle. They squeeze the fat of your thighs as you work them down, skin pillowing over the fabric on its way to the floor. You kick them to the side, then step forward between his legs, knowing he would like the honors of removing your pretty lacy panties you wore just for him.

With clinical precision, he reaches up. The leather of his gloves ran against the skin just above the lace, hooking them with his thumbs and sliding them all the way down to the floor. Unlike the rest of your clothes, he slides them into his pocket for later use. Then, almost innocent, he tilts his head at you.

"What do you think you're gonna do, hm?" Its spoken in a whisper that gets your spine tingling.

Your lip catches between your teeth, "'m gonna ride you?"

"Close..." he hums, repositioning you so you're standing over one of his thighs, "since you seem to like my uniform so much, you can use it to take care of yourself while I work. You can do that, can't you?"

You nod adamantly, already sitting yourself down on him. He holds you still as he readjusts his workspace to accommodate having you there, and all it takes is the tap of his fingers against your lower back for you to start grinding down on his thigh.

The feeling is odd at first - the slightly textured pattern on the fabric rubbing against you uncomfortably. It's not smooth like you thought it would be, but the more you drag your slick along it, the better it seems to feel. A simple back-and-forth motion is enough to get you wet, skin warming with each movement. It's not quite enough to do anything significant, though.

So, you change the angle at which you're moving, choosing to roll your hips into him instead. It makes you shudder at how much nicer it feels, head rolling back with a happy little sigh. The texture of his slacks pressed into your little bud deliciously, spoiling you with how nice it felt.

Caleb makes no move to help you get off, either. The scratch, scratch, scratch of his pen signaled the focus on his work. It made you a little dizzy, knowing that he was ignoring you. Letting you use him as your personal sex toy, griding your pussy into his thigh, and getting off all while he gets his work done. He's so good at coming up with solutions like this, it makes you want him more.

You had to be good though, or else he won't let you cum. If you distracted him too much, he'd send you home to be dealt with later, and you didn't want that. You wanted to gush all over his thigh while he worked so hard to provide for you. You needed to fuck his thigh good and hard and come undone all pretty for him, like the good girl you were.

You lean back a little for a new angle, Caleb subconsciously supporting your back with his hand, always so worried about you, even when he was trying not to be. You use that hand as leverage to press your clit directly into his leg, whimpering when it rolled deliciously against his suit over and over again. You could feel the orgasm building, so you chased the high instead of fighting it.

Giving up the position for a new one, leaned over him so that as much of his uniform was pressed against your naked body. His hand returns to his work like nothing had happened prior, and yours curl into his uniform as you push and pull your hips against him. You focus on pressure more than speed, making sure each roll is deep and impactful.

You're moaning his name into his ear, legs shaking with the effort you use to fuck yourself against him. You can feel how close you are, trying to speed up the pace to get there faster. The pleasure curls up your spine and falls out of your mouth uncontrollably, mumbling incoherent pleases and thank yous over and over. Caleb does not give you a reaction, and you don't need him to. You're already falling over the edge with one last harsh roll into his leg.

Your body trembles with all its might, hips stuttering in their pace, jerking a few more times before they still in a final slow drag. You sigh out his name, thanking him for letting you take care of yourself. It's when you slowly start coming back down that he sets his pen down, easing you into a sitting position where he is supporting your back. The softness in his gaze when you look at him is unearned after what you just when through, but you can't find it in you to voice that.

"Feelin' better, Honey?" He asks, pressing a little kiss to your nose.

You nod, "Mhm..."

"You did good," he compliments quietly, "why don't you go lie down on the couch over there, let your body rest while I go to a meeting, yeah?"

He eases you to your feet, guiding you to the couch carefully, like you might collapse. Carefully, he tosses a blanket over your bare body - one he'd only stored because of your surprise visits and complains about how cold the ship was - pressing a kiss to your forehead. You sigh at the affection, closing your eyes in bliss when he removes his hat and straightens out your hair.

"I'll be back soon, rest up," he hums one last time, and you are lulled to sleep by the gentle sound of his boots crossing the room and padding down the hall.

---

The Colonel's demeanor is unusual as he strides down the hall. Head held tall and proud, shoulders squared back like he was showing off, and strides long and confident. That was mostly to be expected, though. He didn't get where he was without confidence in himself. What really caught the eye of the officers around him was the giant stain on his normally perfect uniform.

They tried not to stare too hard at it, but it was painfully obvious. The dark patch on the apex of his thigh was jarring in comparison to the usually perfectly groomed Colonel they were used to seeing. Stupidly, they whispered to each other about it. Curious as to how it got there, why he seemed to be showing it off, and so on and so forth. It was almost funny, if not for him overhearing a pair of them whispering.

"Is there a problem," he bites, short and sharp.

The two men shake their heads, stiffening into formation, "No, Sir!"

"Why are you whispering about me, then? Do you think I'm stupid?" He presses.

They hesitate for a second, then one speaks up, "Your uniform is extra sharp today, Sir."

They expect him to bite at them again, scold them for being stupid. But instead, the impossible happens. Their Colonel smirks, "It does, doesn't it?"

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

In universe, how long d'you think does it take for someone to write Jake Berenson: The Musical? And what's everyone's reactions once it premiers?

I feel like everyone would go into the musical with no small amount of trepidation, because a) musical, and b) actual war. That said...

Act I, Scene 1: Our protagonist, Jake, comes onstage alone. He sings a song about the aching loneliness of leadership. Not only does he have to decide how to lead his friends, not only does he have no one to confide in, but now his entire family are controllers. He's worried for his parents, but feels he cannot confide that worry in anyone.

Out in the audience, Cassie reaches for Jake's hand, tears sparkling in her eyes. As soon as her hand rests on top of his, he jerks awake with a mumbled apology about how slow ballads aren't his thing. He asks Cassie what he missed. This pattern will continue for the entire rest of the show.

Act I, Scene 2: We meet our narrator, who for some reason is one of the Trekkin' Trekkies from the battle for the hork-bajir valley. His name is Angelo and he's a fictional character, but he introduces four other Trekkies, meant to be the Carpenter family, as the Geek Chorus. The play apparently considers this deeply clever.

In the audience, Tobias glances over at Ax, who holds up an ASL 84: their time left in morph. Next to them, in a not-quiet-enough whisper, Cassie is reminding Jake who the Carpenters were. Yes, she's aware they met the Carpenters before his parents were infested. No, she doesn't think the writers care. This seems to be an artistic interpretation of — Would he just watch the show?

Act I, Scene 3: The actor playing Jake calls his five friends onstage. They're all currently humans, so the Geek Chorus introduces them so that everyone will know who is who. Together, they sing a song about the hopelessness of the war, the power of friendship, and how all they have is each other.

Marco leans over to nudge Tobias. "Love the hair," he whispers, referring to show-Tobias's elaborate dark-brown coif. Tobias gives him a real smile in return, not because he likes fictional-him's hair but because he's secretly pleased that the show so clearly put effort into casting himself and Ax to look alike. Doesn't matter that they don't actually share any DNA; family is family.

Act I, Scene 4: The morphing. Oh lord, the morphing. The idea to make it a dance number—cum—costume change is kinda cool. The use of very saggy-looking cloth puppets is... less so. The fact that the Angelo and his Geek Chorus introduces The God of Tigers, The God of Gorillas, and so on is... inexplicable. Especially because The God of Andalites is just a human guy who has been painted blue. Presumably this is all to distract from the puppet show, which ranges dramatically in quality. By far the best effect is Tobias: they have the human actor fly a bird-puppet across the stage on long posts overhead, all the while staring wistfully up at it as if simultaneously inhabiting the bird and being a human watching the bird longingly from the ground. By far the worst is Rachel: she's just an elephant head that clearly has no body attached to it, poking out from behind various pieces of scenery.

In the audience, Marco is laughing so hard that he's threatening to fall out of his seat, doubled over with his fingers stuffed in his mouth. Cassie nudges Jake awake again, but in a you've got to see this kind of way. "Damn," Tobias mutters, "guess the Ellimist really really hated that production of The Lion King, huh?" Ax misses all of this, too busy staring at The God of Andalites with his mouth half-open in confusion, several mini-marshmallows falling onto his lap in the process.

Act I, Scene 5: Visser Three steals the show. In order to convey the battle for the hork-bajir valley, the cast starts to go into the big company number — the Trekkies singing about how they're going to defend their planet, the Animorphs singing about their morphs, a human dressed as a hork-bajir singing about forging a new home, the controller chorus singing about wanting more bodies — only to have the whole thing blown out of the water by the actors playing Visser Three singing overtop everyone else and drowning them out. That's right, actors: he's in his eight-headed fire-shooting morph, and each of the heads is played by a different actor as they belt out his song in unison overtop everyone else.

"Am I... cheering for Visser Three right now?" Marco whispers to Cassie, who shrugs. Jake jerks awake at the mention of Visser Three, mumbles something about how Hamilton was better, and goes back to sleep. But Marco's not the only one.

Act I, Scene 6: There's supposed to be a battle or something, and if we're supposed to be very sad when Richard Carpenter is heroically killed protecting his kids... but Visser Three is so damn awesome that the whole audience cheers every time he bites someone's head off or throws another Animorph off-stage. Eventually the battle ends just like it did in reality, with the hork-bajir flooding the valley to sweep Visser Three away, at which point everyone boos and even briefly breaks into a chant demanding Visser Three get an encore.

Tobias momentarily questions his entire existence as he enthusiastically joins in with Marco and most of the rest of the audience in chanting "Vis-ser Three! Vis-ser Three!". They're still going strong a good two minutes after the curtain fell, and there's no sign of anyone being able to go into the next scene. Jake mutters something about his having been Visser One at this point in the war, lost under the sound of Cassie joining in with the chant.

Act I, Scene 7: The curtain opens to a set piece that's clearly meant to be a giant tree, and all the Animorphs are sitting in said tree. The stage is covered in smoke from dry ice, meant to convey foam from the flood. Behind them, in a smaller tree, the surviving Trekkies huddle and drip on the floor. Tobias's human actor now cradles the hawk-puppet in his arms, preening its feathers, while everyone else perches on "branches" in poses that range from natural-looking (Marco in a gorilla costume) to extremely awkward (Ax is meant to be out of morph and... standing on a branch?). Worst of all is Rachel; the elephant head is now sitting directly on the stage, which is meant to convey that the rest of her body is underwater but instead just gives head-in-a-jar vibes. The six of them sing an uplifting rock number about the future of humanity, and the curtain falls on Act I.

After ducking into the bathroom to demorph and remorph, Tobias and Ax head for the concession stand. Marco tries and fails to get a themed cocktail for himself, but does succeed in buying a tiger brownie for Jake. Meanwhile, Cassie is attempting to summarize the entire show to Jake as he wipes drool off the side of his face.

Act II, Scene 1: One of the better songs in the show, honestly. It begins when the surviving Geek Chorus come out in front of the curtain, lay out sleeping bags, and apparently — though it can't be real because the auditorium doesn't fill with smoke — light a fire on stage. They huddle around it and sing a sad little melody about Richard Carpenter. Jake walks past them, and as he goes, first one side of the curtain then the other opens to reveal five more campfires dotted around the stage. Jake stops to speak briefly with each of the little groups, checking in, though no dialog is heard. Tobias sits at one with a blond woman who must be Loren, human for now and petting a stuffed dog. Cassie is at the next fire back with both her parents, and Marco is at far stage left with his. Rachel is sitting with Sara in her lap as Jordan and Naomi talk to her across the fire. An actor who must be playing Jara leads on a smaller costar also dressed as a hork-bajir, presumably Toby, and they set up a final fire upstage. One by one, each group around the fire joins in the song of mourning. Finally Jake stands alone downstage right, surrounded by warm glowing lights but himself alone in a circle of cold white light, as the last notes fade out.

Tobias mutters something about fire codes. Cassie wipes a tear from her eye, and then kicks Jake in the shins for whispering about how if Eva is right there on the stage, then how could that other guy be Visser Three?

Act II, Scene 2: Jake stands alone in the spotlight as the fires die behind him, and Ax comes in from stage left to join him. Together they go into a number called "The Only Child," about losing a sibling and being one's parents' only hope. During the coda, Elfangor's ghost comes onstage and sings about fatherhood and legacy... to Jake. To add insult to injury, the actor has to walk around Tobias and stand with his back to Tobias and Loren's fire in order to get to his blocking. At least Elfangor takes the time to put a hand on Ax's arm and give him a meaningful look before he exits stage right, but he has to walk around Tobias a second time to do so.

Cassie and Marco exchange a glance and a wince, before both of them look toward Tobias. Luckily he's rolling his eyes, not appearing offended. It's Ax who gets halfway to standing up before Jake puts a hand on his arm and shakes his head. In undertones, they start plotting an angry letter to the director.

Act II, Scene 3: Luckily, this is when Visser Three comes back, to uproarious approval. Now the eight actors are each playing four arms of a Lerdethak vine-beast, and in unison sing a campy rock number called "Kids These Days," about Visser Three's hatred for teenagers. In the background, the controller chorus is working to build a new yeerk pool as the Trekkies narrate about the Yeerk Empire expanding its reach on Earth.

All the Animorphs join in on the audience's cheers, and this time they do get an encore: the Visser Three actors sing a whole bunch more riffs on the final note of the song, and even do the coda again from the top, to universal acclaim.

Act II, Scene 4: The various gods of the animal spirits do a number about how the Animorphs aren't just fighting for humanity; they're fighting for Earth.

This one goes up like a lead balloon. Jake picks brownie crumbs out of his shirt, regretting that the chocolate is now keeping him from sleeping. Marco reads his program and groans loudly to learn that Visser Three doesn't have any solo numbers left. A kid is kicking the back of Tobias's seat, and he debates kicking back.

Act II, Scene 5: The Animorphs morph again, which is just as awful as the first time, and they all attack Visser Three (to general audience disapproval). In this version of events, Ax simply announces to Visser Three that they partnered with some rebel yeerks and taxxons at some point, and then throws a switch that turns off every ship in the Yeerk Empire at once. Since the Animorphs are all in the Pool ship at the time, this seems ill-advised; projections on the back wall convey everyone onboard falling to Earth.

"Why do they even have that lever?" Marco asks plaintively. No one answers him.

Act II, Scene 6: Everyone, including Elfangor's ghost and Richard Carpenter for some reason, comes back on stage for a big dance number. The Animorphs remain in morph for this scene, with Tobias's actor once again killing it as he swoops his puppet kite-like over the audience and Rachel's actor once again DOA as she half-heartedly waves one ear.

Everyone claps politely through the chorus's bow, then Elfangor's bow, then the parents' bow, then the hork-bajir's bow... and then Visser Three comes out to bow. The crowd is instantly on its feet, screaming and stomping and applauding with their hands in the air. Then people start trickling out and having side conversations during the Animorphs' bows. Tobias gets in line to have the Tobias actor autograph his playbill. "I told you we should've gone to see Assassins," Marco complains, and Cassie laughingly agrees. Jake buys another tiger brownie for the road, and gets one for Ax as well.