#well i started it. i should shoot out a quick update about that soon...

[hazelplaysgames]

we're dodging violence against Junpei today.

you know, i think clips are getting to be... about October? i have 600 in queue right now, it should be close. i kinda realized, this entire last year has been games that took place in Japan. Digimon Cyber Sleuth, World's End Club, Persona, i got into AI: The Somnium Files(i hope the next sale is soon!). i should probably also just play The World Ends With You, just to add another to the list, i got that on DS back in the days i was bad at prioritizing what to do in games. i saw the shrine in the background of this one, and it just kinda hit me how many of them were in Japan.

[fxrmuladaydreams]

his video (sv5)

pornstar!seb x camgirl/pornstar!reader

summary: sebastian wants to try something new for his channel, maybe something a little softer than his usual content?

notes: okay after finishing this i wouldn’t call it “soft” but more tame for pornstar!seb

warnings: !! INCLUDES SMUT, MINORS DNI !! oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v, slight size kink

prev part next part

Begging To Cum feat. Sebastian Vettel

Your video had made the home page and stayed there for about a week now. Money flooded into your virtual tip jar, along with comments praising your video. It seems your audience really enjoyed watching you and Sebastian. Even in the livestreams afterwards comments flooded in asking if Sebastian was going to be joining you.

You enjoyed having him with you. A part of you had always been afraid of filming with another person, but you were glad you bit the bullet and did it with Sebastian.

You kept in contact with him for days after filming, updating each other on how well the video had done.

It should have worried you, the little jump you felt in your heart when you saw a text from Sebastian. You were becoming close, messaging each other every day, sharing the occasional phone call in the evening. Your conversations slowly started to turn from updates about your video to more personal things, updates on each other’s day to day lives. You were becoming far too close to someone who you could call a coworker.

You made plans to meet with him in person again, this time to film a video for him. He asked if you wanted to use your room again, wanting to make sure you were still comfortable with him, but you agreed to use his studio. It would be interesting to see where he films all of his other videos.

When you asked if you should bring anything with you, he just grinned and shook his head. “Just your beauty schatz.” You couldn’t see him since you were talking over the phone, but you could practically hear the smile on his face.

You opt for another dress, this time a soft white sundress, giving you the perfect innocent look you knew his viewers would eat up.

Sebastian had insisted on picking you up and driving you to his studio himself. He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but a part of him was just desperate to see you in person again as soon as he could.

He offered you a bottle of water and let you pick the music as he drove. You made conversation with him on the way there, while he let his eyes drift back and forth between you and the road ahead.

He parked the car in front of a large beige building. There weren’t really any other businesses around, mostly just a few houses scattered down the road.

Sebastian was quick to hop out of the car and dash over to your side to open the door for you.

“Thank you. You didn’t bring me here just to murder me, did you Seb?” You ask teasingly as you glance at the woods behind the building.

“No schatz, I would never!” He huffs, placing a hand over his chest with a look of fake-hurt on his face.

He grabs his bag from the backseat of the car as well as a backpack, and leads you inside the building. A couple seems to be exiting one of the rooms, the man grins as he spots Sebastian.

“Got the room all nice and warmed up for you.” He says as he gives Sebastian that half hug-handshake that guys do.

You recognize the man almost immediately. Daniel Ricciardo, another very popular, though not quite as popular as Sebastian, pornstar. You’d seen quite a few videos of his. He had a style similar to Sebastian, definitely the dom type. But now you could see that he seemed like an all-smiles person. Maybe it was a high from a good shoot?

The girl with him just stands by, a dazed smile on her face. Sebastian takes a glance at her then back at Daniel.

“Yeah, I can see that.” He laughs.

Daniel looks over at you and smiles holding his hand out for you to shake. “Hi, I’m Daniel, big fan of your videos.” He winks.

You feel your face heat up under the gaze of the dark haired man in front of you. “Thank you.”

“If you ever want another filming partner, let me know.” He says as he steers the girl he’s with outside.

Sebastian feels himself tense up. He can feel the jealousy slowly building up inside of him. You have the right to film with whoever you want, he knows that, but he doesn’t like the thought of sharing.

“C’mon, I’ll show you where we’ll be filming.” He says, his voice slightly gruff.

He guides you down a hall, past a room you recognize from a lot of Sebastian’s other videos, and Daniel’s as well. It’s just a simple room with a couch on one wall, nothing more.

Instead he leads you to a different room. This one is fully furnished, decorated with a bed, a dresser, a closet, even posters and frames on the walls. It looks like a real bedroom.

“I was thinking maybe we could do something a little different for my video too. Maybe something kind of soft?” He asks.

You smile and nod. “Yeah, that sounds fun.”

“And don’t worry, I won’t kiss you.” He smirks. “I wouldn’t want you to fall in love with me or anything.”

You laugh and shake your head.

“Why do you have that rule?” He asks. When he gets a few seconds of silence in return he adds “You don’t have to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable.”

You sigh. “I don’t know. You’re the only person I’ve actually filmed with, you know that.”

Sebastian feels pride swell up in his chest.

“Kissing against someone’s skin if fine, it’s just… actual kissing just seems… too intimate? I’m already giving you and my viewers so much, I think I want that one thing for just me…”

Sebastian nods. “That makes sense. You want to save some part of yourself from everyone else.”

He sets his bag up by the door again after he pushes it closed and locks it. He pulls his camera out of his backpack along with the tripod for it to rest on.

You sit yourself down on the bed and run your hand over the blanket that lays over it.

“You look like a dream schatz.” He says as he finishes setting up. “Are you ready?”

He presses the record button only when you give him the okay, then saunters over to the bed and sits next to you. He slowly leans his head down, his nose brushing softly against yours.

“No kissing.” You remind him quietly as you try not to let yourself drown in the blue of his eyes.

“No kissing.” He confirms, then drops his head down to your neck.

His lips trail softly against your skin as his hands find their way to your hips. He leans forward as you lean back, laying down with him on top of you as he softly bites at your skin.

You open your legs for him to rest between them and tangle a hand in his soft blonde hair.

He feels a soft tug when he bites down near your collarbone. He smirks to himself, sucking on the skin again, then smoothing his tongue over it.

He rolls his hips against yours, pushing your sundress further up your waist. The rough denim of his jeans feels good through your panties as you lift your hips up to meet his.

He tugs at the bottom of your dress, brushing his hands against your thighs. You lift yourself up enough to pull the dress off and toss it to the side.

Sebastian pulls away just enough to get a good look at you and the white lace set you’ve worn, then sighs. “You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you bunny?”

“Do you like it?” You ask him.

“I love it.” He dives his head back down to continue kissing along your collarbone, along as much of the newly revealed skin he can.

His hand travels back behind you and swiftly unclasps your bra. He pulls it off your shoulders and tosses it away.

His lips trail down between the valley of your breasts as his hands give them a soft squeeze. He gets lower and lower until he’s reached the waistband of your panties. He looks up at you, his blue eyes wide, asking you a silent question.

You nod your head, wanting nothing more than for him to rid you of your underwear.

He pulls them down with his teeth until they hang around your ankles. You kick them off and watch the man between your legs in anticipation.

He spreads your legs open and lets out a low groan. “You’re so pretty, bunny.” He says, his eyes locked on your cunt.

He lifts your legs over his shoulders and slowly licks a long stripe over your folds until his tongue flicks against your clit.

You gasp at the sensation, squirming when he sucks it into his mouth. He holds onto your thighs with a firm grip, keeping you still so he can take what he wants. Even now, as he’s pleasuring you, he still needs to be the one in control.

“C’mon bunny, let me hear those pretty noises you like to make.” He says, his lips brushing against your folds.

You lay back as he eats you out, tangling your hands in his blonde curls. You arch your back off the bed as his tongue fucks into you.

He moans into you as he feels you try to squirm in his hold. He leans his face as close as he can into you, his nose pushing against your clit as he thrusts his tongue in you.

“Oh god, I’m gonna cum, please may I cum sir?” Your grip on his hair tightens.

“Cum for me.”

You let your orgasm wash over you. Sebastian continues licking you though, taking as much of your release as you’ll give him.

“You taste delicious bunny.” He says as he moves your legs from his shoulders.

He kisses back up your body until he’s eye to eye with you again.

The denim of his jeans was once a welcome feeling between your legs, but now the material makes you shift away in slight discomfort, the material too rough over your sensitive folds.

“Do you think you can be a good little bunny and ride me?” He asks as his fingers reach back down to toy with your clit.

You nod up at him. “I can do it.”

He rolls over, pulling your body on top of his.

You can’t help but think to yourself just how this looks right now, you completely bare, straddling him, completely clothed. You tug his shirt off and take a good look at him. He’s never really shown much skin in his other videos, so you’re a little surprised to see the lines of his torso now on display. The muscles in his chest and abs shift as he moves.

“Like what you see?” He smirks up at you.

You flush at his words and move your hands down to unbuckle his belt and tug his jeans down his legs. His boxers are quick to follow. His cock slaps his abdomen as it’s released. It’s big, not that you hadn’t already pictured Sebastian was packing. It’s good length, and thick as well. The mushroom tip is a pink color, a bead of precum spilling out the top.

You wrap your hand around it, stroking it up and down, you thumb tracing along the slit at the head.

“You think it’ll fit?” He asks as your fingers only just barely touch while wrapped around him.

You can see just how deep it’ll be when inside you as you stroke it, it’ll practically be rearranging your insides.

You lift yourself up and run the head along your folds, collecting your slick. You slowly lower yourself down onto him, taking about half of him before you need to stop. You whimper as you try to get used to the feeling, the stretch that he gives you.

“Aww, am I too big for you bunny?” Sebastian coos, his hand running along your thigh.

You feel yourself squeeze around him impossibly tighter, rocking yourself back and forth on him.

“You can’t do it, can you bunny?” He asks with a fake pout on his face.

“No, no, no, I can do it, I can do it.” You insist. You start to let yourself drop further down until you’re speared on his cock. You can feel the head impossibly deep inside you, his girth pulling you apart unlike anything before.

“I did it, it fits.” You moan as you begin to rock yourself against him.

Sebastian tries not to let himself fall apart too fast. He tries to remember that he’s on camera, that to his audience he’s meant to be the one in control, but he feels that control slipping away as he looks up at you. You’re eyes are squeezed shut as you try to ride him, your hands are pushed against his chest in an attempt to keep yourself balanced. You throw your head back and let out a moan when he hits a certain spot inside you, and he think’s it’s the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard.

He closes his eyes and pushes himself to sit up, moving your hands to his shoulders. He needs to regain some of his control, and he knows just how to do it.

“C’mon, be a good little bunny and bounce on my cock.” He says, giving you a light tap on the ass.

You grip onto his shoulders as you lift yourself up, then drop back down. You slowly build up your pace until you’re a mess on top of him, your tits bouncing with your movements and your words no longer coherent as they turn into garbled moans.

Your legs are shakey underneath you, your strength fading as you chase your impending orgasm. Sebastian can feel your pace start to slow down. He lands a harsh smack to your ass, causing you to yelp.

“Can’t do it by yourself bunny? You need my help to make you cum?” He asks.

“Please, please, please make me cum.” You beg him.

He starts thrusting himself up into you, reaching even deeper. Each of his sharp thrusts are met with a quick whine from you.

He uses his right hand to play with your clit, rubbing quick circles into it, pulling you even closer to the edge.

“I’m gonna cum.” You moan.

“Cum for me bunny, cum on my cock.” Sebastian groans under you.

Your walls tighten around him as he feels you cum. Your body gives out, falling almost limp against his own. He flips you over and fucks into you. He feels himself near his own release as he pulls out from you and fists himself. His head drops down to your shoulder as his warm cum covers your stomach in white spurts.

He holds himself up on his elbows so he doesn’t crush you underneath him. He pulls away to rest on his knees and looks down at his work.

You’ve got a blissed out smile on your face and a hazy look in your eyes. You reach down to your stomach and swipe a finger through his cum bringing it to your lips. You moan at the taste of him while he smiles and shakes his head.

“You really are trying to kill me schatz.”

The term of endearment brings you back to the present, as does his warmth leaving you so he can turn his camera off. He pulls a soft towel from his bag, wiping his release off you, and yours from between your legs.

“So, did I do good?” You ask, reaching down for his shirt to pull over your head.

“You were amazing.” He smiles, pulling his boxers back on.

He hands you a bottle of water, uncapped by him, and a snack. He grabs the same, and sits next to you on the bed.

He realizes quickly that he could get used to this sight. You in your post-sex glow, wearing his clothes. A light purple mark brandished on your neck from his teeth. He reaches over and brushes his fingers over it.

“Sorry about that.” He apologies sheepishly.

You shake your head and laugh softly. “It’s okay. Have you seen your shoulders?”

He looks down to see the pink scratch marks that trail over his shoulders, some going down to his chest. He smiles to himself, maybe he doesn’t mind being marked up, as long as they’re marks from you.

A nice silence falls over the room as you continue to eat your snack. Your head falls softly against Sebastian’s shoulder as your eyes start to droop closed. He wraps an arm around you, pulling you closer to him. He wraps one of the blankets around the two of you, cocooning you together.

“Can we stay for a little bit?” You ask him quietly, nuzzling yourself further into him.

���We can stay for as long as you’d like schatz.”

[sl-newsie]

Query: Q x 00 Agent- Ch. 3: Whatever It Takes

The next day I have to head back to MI6 for one last training session, where I run into Bond.

“You’re off to Hong Kong now?” I pant as I dab my sweaty face off.

Bond gives a stiff nod. “And you, little Levie, are off to Ireland. I’m guessing Q treated you well, Mrs. White?”

I narrow my eyes at him. “Haha, very funny. Did you think I’d like him because he’s younger?”

The older agent simply shrugs and the gleam in his eye is undisguisable.

“Bravo, Bond. You’ve still got a sense of humor.”

We keep walking to the office space in a comfortable silence. “Joking aside, congratulations on your first solo mission,” Bond says sincerely. “It’s a big moment for you. Still, I’ll be sad to not have you with me. You’re one of my favorite partners.”

I playfully punch his shoulder. “Because I keep your ego in check?”

“Because you’re the only one I treat like a sister.”

I grin. “Aw. Big brother’s going to miss me.”

Once we’ve gotten to the office center we both spot Q, Eve, and M waiting for us.

“Say goodbye, Bond.” M instructs. “This may be the last time you two see each other.”

Bond and I exchange looks. I must say I am nervous about being on my own, but Bond’s prepared me well.

“Good luck, Bond. The whole force is counting on you, no pressure.”

“Goodbye, Levie.” Bond gives my hand a sturdy shake. “You don’t need luck, because I know you’ll do brilliant. You’re still young, but healthily spirited. Just don’t let your heart get in the way.”

With that, he follows M down the hall and for the first time we go our separate ways. 

“Is he still mad at me for shooting him?” Eve asks.

“Hasn’t mentioned it, at least not to me. But I do know one thing:” I look up with a slightly defiant demeanor. “If I had been on that mission with Bond, I would have jumped off that bridge after him. I don’t care what M says, I don’t leave a man behind.” I look at Q and ask: “When do I leave for Ireland?”

“In one hour. I will quickly brief you on a few last minute updates on your way to the airport.”

“You won't be accompanying me, husband?” I bring up the repeating joke as we start walking out.

It either flies over his head or he ignores it. “I don’t like flying.”

“It’s rather accelerating,” I comment as we enter a company SUV. “You should try it again. It makes you think.”

Q sets his face straight and begins looking through some paper files in his bag. “I can do much better thinking at home with my cats.”

Huh. Nerd guy who sits at a computer desk with cats. Who knew?

“You seem like a cat person. I respect that.”

Q accepts my statement with a small grin. “At least there’s one person who does.”

The quick trip through the airport flashes by, and soon enough I’m seated in first class and headed off to Ireland. From what Q tells me, I am to penetrate a secret lab and retrieve a formula for a new type of cyanide. Not as extreme as Bond’s assignment, but I’m still excited. Over the flight, Q apparently took the liberty of placing a few audio books in my bag.

“Hello, 0011. Or Levie, as Bond called you. I still prefer Mrs. White. I’ve recorded a few history books to entertain you for the duration of your flight, because I picture you as more of a history fan rather than a science geek such as myself. Your options are: The American Revolution, World War II, or the Spanish Civil War.”

I chose World War II and am surprised to find that I actually enjoy Q lecturing about history. Something about his voice makes it seem like a hobby rather than a chore. Maybe it’s because he’s younger? Why am I becoming friends with my Quartermaster?

In an hour I arrive in Dublin and meet up with my contact at a local pub called The Cobblestone. He’s a local Paddy with a thick accent, who tells me that the best way for me to sneak into the lab is through the sewer tunnels much to my distaste.

“What I’m wondering is why a lass like you is charged with this mission,” the man thinks out loud.

I down the whiskey I’ve ordered and narrow my eyes. “Don’t underestimate a 00 agent.”

Nighttime falls and my nerves are a jumbled mess. Unlike Bond I don’t always dress in fancy attire for missions. Instead I’m sporting a long-sleeved black jumpsuit with dress flats. Less stylish, but effective. I station myself a few yards from the sewer entrance outside the lab. After I put in my earpiece both M and Q’s voices ring in my ear.

“Voice check, please,” Q requests.

“Good evening lady and gentleman. Tonight’s forecast calls for one 00 agent and the loss of one cyanide formula. Possible celebration may be sighted in the morning.”

“Very cute,” Q replies dryly. “I expect you’re dressed for the occasion?”

I smirk from behind the tree I’m using to hide. “Wouldn’t you like to know, dear?”

“Can we cut the jibber jabber and focus?” M states harshly. “0011, are you in position?”

My agent instincts kick in and I stiffen up. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Good. You are clear to proceed.”

Thankfully the sewer entrance doors aren’t locked, but I wish it didn’t smell so putrid. It seems luck is on my side because there are no lights to expose my location. However there is one security camera.

“Q, I’d very much appreciate it if you could disable the camera.”

On the other end I hear the nerd chuckle. “Oh? I thought you liked drawing attention to yourself.”

“Just kill the bloody camera!”

He does so without another word and soon the blinking light on the camera dies. I keep scrolling through the checklist in my mind of everything I need to accomplish, deciding that I can continue on. Once I scale down the ladder into the inky darkness I switch on my night vision contact lenses. I have a few rat friends to accompany me but other than that there’s no security here. 

“Now go to your right for about 50 paces, then turn left,” Q voices in my ear.

“0011, there appears to be a maximum of only 5 guards in the area you will be infiltrating,” M adds. 

Only 5? Bond and I have a record of taking out 50 in 10 minutes. But a rookie mission is a rookie mission.

Now I’ve arrived at a small door. Still no sign of trouble.

“This leads to the boiler room,” Q informs. “No human heat signatures detected.”

There’s just one problem: the door’s lock is far beyond crackable. Normally Bond is the one for cracking locks while I stand watch, but it’s time to be adaptable. Somewhere in my pocket- I think there’s…

“0011, what’s taking so long?” M asks.

“Trying to bust the lock. Ever heard of liquid nitrogen?”

I take out a small vial and tilt it to apply the cold substance over the lock. After a few moments the metal freezes over, and after a hard kick it shatters to the floor.

“All done.”

I burst through the door holding my pistol and search for any threats in the boiler room. Only a few leaky faucets. 

“We can’t scramble all the cameras in the building. You should be on their radar now. If anyone asks, you are here for an appointment with Dr. Lambert,” M says. “Mention Project Ares.”

“Seems like a rather late appointment,” I comment as I make my way up the stairs and out of the room. “Where to now?”

Q speaks up. “Turn left, then take the elevator to the 5th level.”

Right as rain, the elevator is right down the hall. Unfortunately I’m not the only one riding it. There’s one older man and a younger woman who appears to be a secretary.

“Going up?” The woman asks.

“Yes, please.”

I hope for there to be no conversation on our ascent but am proven unlucky.

“That’s a lovely necklace,” the man comments.

“Thank you. It’s a gift from my husband.” I finger the blue pendant, letting it comfort my nerves.

"You're not wearing a ring?"

"I'm afraid I lost it a few weeks ago."

“Where do you work?” the secretary inquires.

I keep a steady smile. “I don’t work here. I’m visiting on account of my boss to visit Dr. Lambert.”

This surprises the older man. “Really? I didn’t think Norman took appointments this late.”

“It’s a special case. For Project Ares.”

This quiets both people and we ride the rest of the way in silence. Obviously Project Ares is a big deal. The elevator drops me off at the 5th floor and I give a wave goodbye to the two employees. 

“I’m on the 5th level.”

“Good. Now go straight until you see a door marked X,” Q says.

I walk a few feet down and sure enough there’s a door with a large X on the front. You’d think this project would be hidden better. This lock may pose another issue because it’s activated by a fingerprint-

“Miss? What are you doing here?” A voice asks.

I keep my cool and pivot to find a man in a lab coat walking towards me. He looks to be in his mid-thirties, with light brown hair and a little stubble. Must be a scientist.

“Ah, yes. I was looking for Dr. Lambert. It’s about Project Ares.”

The man’s face lights up. “You must be the reporter! Yes yes, come in!”

He strides past me and swipes a card to open the door, gesturing for me to follow him. This seems too easy. The room I enter is obviously a lab, one filled with many different vials and chemistry equipment.

“Are you in?” M asks in my ear.

“I had a little help,” I whisper to keep discreet from the man behind me. “What am I looking for?”

“A test tube full of the new formula,” Q says. “Any amount of a sample. Who helped you in?”

“One of the project scientists. He thinks I’m a reporter.”

“Over here!” The man in question beckons me over to a table that displays a rack of test tubes. “My name is Watson, by the way. Daniel Watson in case you’re going to include me. But I don’t care for fame, I only want to help with the progress of science.”

Aw. I’m beginning to feel sad for stealing from you.

“Is this the new cyanide formula I heard about?” I try to sound unbearably dumb.

“Indeed it is! This is our company’s most recent accomplishment, one we boys in the lab are extremely proud of. Its symptoms are quick to take over the body’s cardiovascular system and can go undetected through drug screens.”

Thank God I have a pencil and small pad of paper in my pocket so I actually look like a reporter. I write down all highlights of his lecture while side-eyeing the tubes within an arm's reach. So close! 

“Do you have any other questions?”

I zoom back to focus on Watson, trying to think of a way to sneak a vial… What would Bond do? Huh. There’s no question about what he would do. Whatever it takes to make them lower their guard.

“No, I don’t think so,” I use a more airy voice as I bat my eyelashes at the scientist. “Thank you so much, Watson! My boss will love hearing about this!” I put away my pad of paper and saunter over to the blushing man. “How can I ever repay the favor?”

He shakes his head frantically. “No, that’s not necessary. Achievement through science is it’s own reward.”

Now I’ve got him trapped against the counter. “That’s not always enough. Maybe just one kiss?”

Before he can decline I press a firm kiss to his lips, rendering him speechless. In a split-second I look to see that he has his eyes closed, right as I slip a vial into my chest pocket. When I pull away, Watson still can’t find words to say.

“Thanks again, Watson!” I wave as I strut out. “Q, M, I have it. Ready for a quick exit before they ring the alarm.”

“Right. This time you’re going to use the stairs, a few paces down to your right,” Q states.

Is it just me or is he acting a bit differently?

“Everything alright, Quartermaster?” I ask as I begin my descent.

“Peachy. Will you please continue with the mission?”

“I thought I was. Did I do something wrong?”

He doesn’t answer, which just makes me even more curious. By now I’m at the 2nd floor-

Beep! Beep! Beep!

“Bad news, folks. Watson turned traitor on me.”

“Who?” Q asks with disgust.

“Doesn’t matter. Right now I have to get out.”

“I just detonated an explosive on the south side of the building to cover your exit window. You're welcome.”

My eyebrows raise in surprise. “Thanks very much, chap. Remind me to repay the favor someday.”

“B squad, you check the bottom levels. We’ll get the upper floors!” Voices shout from below.

Uh-oh. Looks like I’ll have to take a detour to the ground floor. I make a dash for the exit and find multiple security guards scurrying all throughout the hall. The lobby is only a few yards away-

“Miss! Quick, there’s been a security breach. You must get evacuated and head home immediately,” one man in a suit informs me.

I play dumb. “Oh my goodness! What happened?”

“A bomb exploded at the end of the property so we’re evacuating all staff. Now hurry!”

Pretending to be in a jumbled panic like everyone else, I flock down the hall and am almost there-!

“Hold up! Where’s your badge?” One guy stops me just before I reach the lobby. A college jock if I ever saw one.

“Well, you see sir,” I bat my eyelashes. “I was having a private meeting with one of your employees that shall go unnamed. That’s how my business works. Technically I’m not supposed to be here, but he needed some stress relief, if you catch my drift. Do you think you could possibly look the other way and let me slip out?”

Lord save my soul. I can’t even register my own words as they pour almost too easily from my mouth. I really have learned a lot from Bond. And it must work, because the young guard is now looking at me with a new-found hunger.

“I dunno about that, but I’ll let it slide if you use that pretty mouth of yours to give me a little loving.”

It’s all I can do not to vomit. “Very well.” I take his hand and lead him to a nearby closet, locking the door behind me. “One kiss, one favor? Sounds enchanting.” I give him a blunt punch to the head and he drops to the ground, out cold. “But I’ve already had my date for the evening.”

I hide him behind a crate and sprint for the lobby, speeding through the door into the cool night air towards the rendezvous point for my getaway. Once I’ve cleared the hill and the lab is out of sight I relax. Finally! I’ve done it! My first mission-!

Bam!

The shot rings out and I stop dead in my tracks. The blood is already dripping down my pant leg. I’ve been lucky to have been shot only twice before, both in the arm. But this is my first leg injury. And I don’t like it.

The guard who’s holding the gun is standing a short distance behind me. “I won’t miss next time. You seemed unfamiliar when I saw you earlier. Now tell me, who are you? And don’t bother trying to sell the whole reporter scheme. Tell me who you’re working for!”

Bond wouldn’t have gotten into this. Think, think! 

I kneel down and make it seem as if I’m surrendering, then-

“Ah!”

My knife, Mrs. White, lands perfectly in the center of the guard’s chest. Thanks, Q. He topples over and, with what force I can muster with a shot leg, I jog over and knock him out cold. That’s one check off the list. But my adrenaline is wearing off and the injury’s starting to get to me.

“Q? M? Anybody copy?” I grunt as I keep walking, wanting to get to the rendezvous point as quickly as possible.

“Q here. Sorry about that, got caught up with Bond’s radio call. What’s up?”

“Agent wounded. I’ve been shot in the thigh, losing blood fast. How far away is the car?”

It’s like I flipped a switch when I said ‘shot,’ because now Q’s manner has definitely changed.

“I see your position. Keep going straight for another 50 yards, and whatever you do don’t fall asleep. Is your head spinning?”

“Starting to. I’m not sure if the bullet nicked the femoral artery, but I’m fresh out of tourniquets.”

“Stay calm, keep your breathing steady. Do you think you can last?”

I try to give a laid-back chuckle but it turns into a short coughing fit, bringing up specs of blood on my hand. “You should know, Quartermaster, that my intentions as a 00 agent keep me motivated to keep going until I literally die? Yes, I can last.”

Q is quiet for a time, leaving me to notice how heavy my breathing has gotten. My leg feels numb now, which cannot be a good thing.

“Are you still there?”

“Yes,” I answer in a tired voice. “Would you mind chatting with me so I can ignore death?”

“I’d think that you would have kicked death in the crotch by now,” Q jokes lightheartedly. “You’re almost there, just a few more yards. Don’t mess up, or you’ll be the first agent to die under my watch.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t. I’m going to rub my victory in your face when I get back.”

“There’s the 0011 I remember,” he groans. “Just get back alive.”

I’d really like to, but my head’s starting to feel even more dizzy. So much for a flawless first solo mission. Is this really how I’m going to go out? Slowly bleeding to death? I’d hoped my death would be something dramatic. Should I say goodbye to everyone? It would mean I’m accepting defeat, but I’d be disappointed not say farewell to my few friends. Bond, Eve, the other 00s, M- Q? Is Q my friend? That would be the first time I’ve been friends with my Quartermaster. It’s not like he’s unlikeable, only annoying at times. Annoying, witty, attractive-

The new thought makes me go into another coughing fit. Q, attractive? My blood loss is clearly making me delusional. He’s mildly cute at best. Wait- no. Why am I cogitating about his appealing looks? Just keep focused and stay alive!

“Q, I’m starting to see spots.” I look behind and see a pathetic trail of blood behind me.

“You’re almost there. Do you see the car yet?”

“I see a bright light-”

“No! Not that one-!”

“Just kidding. Yes, I see it.”

Q sighs. “Shut your trap and get in the bloody car before I tell them to leave you behind.”

I try to laugh but end up spitting up more blood. Now the driver of the black Jeep sees me limping towards her and she rushes over to help.

“Are you 0011?”

“Yeah. Or at least I’ll stay that way if I can stay alive.”

“Stay calm, miss! I’m going to get the stretcher-”

“Forget it. If I can walk this far I can walk 10 more feet to the back of the car.”

The driver quickly opens the rear food and I climb inside with what little strength I have left. As soon as I’m seated my eyes begin to droop and she panics.

“No, no sleeping! We need to get your wound dressed…”

Her words are drowned out by my building fatigue, and soon all I can hear is my faint heartbeat as I start to drift off. So close… Maybe if I wake up after this I’ll copy Bond and top it off with a drink…

[phantom-howl]

Gonna make a pipeline post. Basically going over the projects I'm actively working on & their progress. Trying to pour what energy I'm left with after homework & life into my stuff so this is helping me & bringing hype to my projects lol

All updates will be underneath the cut! If I missed something or you have questions please shoot me a DM or an ask! I'll answer as soon as I can ^^

DOWNWARD SPIRAL (YT series/Blog): Episode 4 is actively being worked on. Taking a bit because of my life & the lives of my team. Also on a small hiatus because of school & the fact episode 4 is important. As for the blog, the VA for T.R. recorded himself saying every single post on the blog & I'm working on something with that audio. Will either edit the inital posts with the recordings or make a video with them. Haven't decided yet.

NIGHTMARE REALM (comic): Has been renamed to Nightmare Mode currently, but that may change. Story went through an overhaul recently. Still trying to plan out the kinks before I start drawing for it.

PAROXSYM GALAXY (Mario horror comic): That is also kind of on a hiatus until life calms down. I have quite a few things planned for the comic so I have a road map. I just need to draw them but that takes time.

ANOMALOUS ANTHOLOGY (comic): I have decided to make this one real. The OCs I've pulled for it have invaded my brain and refuse to leave. This one is still in the planning phase and will likely not get a proper entry anytime soon.

A BLUR OF RIGHT & WRONG (video game): The image update WILL come but this is has become my lowest priority in terms of things I need to do. This is mainly because the game is doing surprisingly well as it is. 214 views & 11 downloads isn't a lot in the grand scheme of things but the fact it's getting any kind of traction is good to me.

MA_ _NIC GAMES (video game): Been cooking this one for the Luigikid challenge as a personal challenge to myself. While I would love to add images to the game I might have to compromise and do purely text-based like aBoRaW. We'll see but this one should release sometime in April regardless. Unless I miss the deadline. In which case expect this to release sometime in June/July.

ASK IMP (ask blog): I DO plan on working on this one I swear. I have plans for the story. I'm just also overhauling OC designs so a few characters need a quick update and also there are other projects I wanna release first.

YOUTUBE STUFFS: I have a few video essays planned, and a few animation ideas in my backlog. I hope to release one of them in the months of April-June. One of my new years resolutions is to post more on Tumblr & YouTube so I'm trying.

TUMBLR STUFFS: I plan on changing my art blog's username. While I love phantom-howls-shit, it's not exactly very professional sounding. I wanna start working on building my career, and the fact my art blog has kinda become my portfolio..... I just want something better sounding. Will most likely become fantom-howl or phantom-howls. Maybe neo-phantom to tie to some of my accounts on other sites. As for THIS account, I'm gonna make a reblogging sideblog for my mass habit of reblogging things. This will likely be a rough transition as I have developed a habit of reblogging on main but it will happen. The new sideblog will likely be an option that I didn't choose for my art blog. Most likely fantom-howl now that I think about it. Also another change on this account. I will be privating a lot of original posts & reblogs that I wanna save but don't want tied to me anymore. With the privating original stuffs, it's mainly because the posts don't reflect me anymore and I get really embarrassed when I get a random like or reblog on a post from 2021. With the privating reblogs, this is mainly Ask64 stuff. I don't wanna delete the reblogs because the blog is gone & I still really love what me & the other mods did on that blog, I just don't want it tied to me anymore.

[goonmilk]

Life Lately

Been a while since I had the time to unload life’s blessings into blog form, but things have been honestly amazing for me and my family. Ash and I are expecting our second child. Phoenix is gonna be a big brother which is very exciting to see him in that role as he’s growing up so fast. We’re also getting him ready for Daycare, we’ve been blessed to have amazing Grandmothers to watch him as we go to work but now we want to socialize him a bit more and get him around kids his age. We took him on his first Airplane flight this past weekend to Atlanta to visit Ash’s Uncle. We had a blast, he wasn’t afraid at all and slept thru most of both flights there and back. We went to Skyzone, Lego Land, and to the Georgia Aquarium. A nice little quick getaway to test Phoenix’s flying capacity but I knew he’d like it the way he sleeps as soon as the car starts moving lol. Fatherhood has by far been the most rewarding gift as a man; learning how to be patient, gentle, and understanding on a whole new level. Married life isn’t much different than before we tied the knot, we’ve been locked in since the moment we met and I wouldnt have it any other way. Ash was/is an amazing wife before we even said our I do’s. Seeing her become a dedicated Mom while juggling work, life, and her passions in makeup is inspiring and I strive to be as compassionate of a person as she is. She gives me hope and unwavering support on my darkest of days. I pray my peers find someone to calm their soul the way she has soothed mine.

Thee Booth Experience is steady booking larger and more interesting clientele. We’ve done Beyonce Block Parties with Anwaa Kong and the Black Wealth Summit with Raven Paris in Baltimore as well as countless Baby showers, Dinner Parties, and individual shoots. My goal is to really get this DMV Yearbook published by end of year to further establish the role in our area that Thee Booth has cemented in the last year. I say this humbly but there’s really no experience like Thee Booth Experience in this area. The quality, the service, the nostalgia, the buzz that it has created from social media profile pictures and seeing them all over Instagram is unlike anything I’ve seen from a photographer ever. The love is felt everywhere and I really want to do this yearbook and my area justice with how i present this project as I see it being another stepping stone to the legacy I want to leave to my kids. That’s really all I’m focused on; Family, and that’s exactly as it should be. I’m turning 36 on the 23rd and usually I’d be planning some function to party or go out of town but these days it all about my little growing tribe, Photography, and being grateful for it all.

I’ll Keep you guys updated more often.

[nella09archive]

Marriage. 33

Chapter 33: family outings

It’s Gohan’s 2nd birthday, and Goku suggested that we go on a picnic. How he had found a very nice spot, that he wanted to take us. On top of that, today is a beautiful day, why waste it. As I start getting the picnic food ready, Goku catches up with Gohan. Goku always makes the days he’s back full of family time. And he gets so excited hearing everything Gohan has done since he been gone.

Soon we get on nimbus and head to the location. It’s a beautiful meadow looking over a river, that leads to a waterfall, and the view off the cliff is so breath taking. “It’s so beautiful Goku.”

I can’t help but to hug him. He hugs back. “I knew you would like it.” Then Gohan joins the hug, and we soon laughing on our backs. After we ate and watched the wonderful sunset, we decide to stay longer, and watch the stars.

Gohan spots a shooting star. “I wish I grow up to be as strong as mommy and daddy!” Goku looks so happy to hear that. I’m happy too, but I’m also very scared.

…

I can’t believe mommy let me stay up past my bedtime. This birthday is just so awesome. Oh, look! A shooting star. Better hurry and make a wish. “I wish I grow up to be as strong as mommy and daddy!” My parents looks so happy with my wish. But I can also tell mommy doesn’t look fully happy at that. I wonder why.

…

My little man wants to grow up to be as strong as me and Chichi. That makes me so happy. But I know Chichi is probably scared. “If you want to grow big and strong, you have to work extra hard at everything you do. But first you have to listen to mommy. Mommy knows what’s best, and she’ll show you the best way to be strong.”

“But that’s books.”

“But books can teach you a lot of things. If you want to be strong, you need to know a lot of things.” I could see Chichi smiling at that.

“He’s right Gohan.” We then hold onto Gohan’s hands.

…

I could tell daddy only said that to make mommy happy. I want to be the kind of strong like daddy is. I want to be able to move mountains, and stop bad guys like my comic books. Mommy doesn’t like when daddy tells me stuff about his training. I want to know. Why does mommy tell him no?

As daddy tucks me to bed, I should ask him. “Daddy?” He looks at me. “Can you show me some martial arts.” He smiles really quick, but then it goes away, and he tells me that he can’t. He says it’ll make mommy mad. “But daddy! Please! I won’t tell mommy. Just show me a little. Please!” I get out of bed and hug him.

He sets me on his lap. “How about I take you camping with me.” I look at him confused. “I could show you what books can’t. Well, not the ones you have.” But that’s not martial arts. I feel slightly disappointed. “What you think is martial arts is the fighting part.” I look at him surprised. Wait! Can he read minds or something? “Or something.” He winks. I giggle. Daddy is so funny.

“Ok. Me want to go camping.”

“Now I have to tell mommy. Wish me luck.” Good luck daddy.

…

“Come on Chichi, just one camping trip.” She has her back to me. “We could go a day or two after the full moon.” After Chichi told me how I act weird during the full moon, we agreed to all go to bed early. Unless the full moon lands on our anniversary, then Gohan goes to her dad’s.

“That’s not the point Goku.”

“Then what is?” I pin her under me. She’s pouting and looking away. “You know you look sexy when you have that face.”

“Shut up.” There’s that smile. I then kiss her neck. She bites her lip. Only down side with Gohan home, is that I can’t hear Chichi. But it’s ok, since I know I still make her feel good. I toy with her breast before I make my way lower.

“I love you so much, my perfect Chichi.” I kiss just below her bellybutton. “You’re my perfect little wife.” I slowly remove her panties. “So, what do you say? Let me take Gohan camping for a few days.” I lick the inside of her right thigh. “I’ll reach out to you with updates on what we do.” I lick the inside of the left. “You smell so good. I really miss you.” With that I take a few licks of my favorite meal.

“Ok, ok. Gohan can go camping. But remember, updates every day.” With that I dig in.

…

Sometimes I hate when Goku does that. He would tease me to get what he wants. It’s even worse when it has to do with Gohan. When it comes to Gohan, he’ll pull every trick up his sleeve to get me to say yes. But that body of his is just so irresistible, that saying no is impossible. The way he’s moving in me, hitting the right spot every time. The way his fingers are working to where I see stars. We have to bite each other, just to keep our pleasure from being heard.

After reaching another climax, do I beg we call it a night. But my not so sweet husband has other plans. “When was that hot mouth of yours had a workout.” He says has he kiss me. Before I could say anything, he’s on his knees, waiting for me. It has been too long since I’ve tasted him. I don’t give him a chance to grab my face. Last time I was too slow, in taking him in, he was a little too impatient, and I was force up too quickly. He apologizes, but he did that more than once, so I try to be faster. Even though he does mean he’s sorry, but during the moment he loves it. And secretly, I love it too.

…

Mommy and daddy look way too happy this morning. Sometimes I would notice sometimes mommy would start walking funny, after her and daddy have adult talk in their bedroom. It’s weird. Grownups are weird.

…

As me and Gohan pack up for our camping trip, Chichi reminds us about everything Gohan needs. How he needs his allergy medicine, and not to stay up so late. She also make sure we have everything. She’s worries so much; I just love her. One last farewell, and we’re off. We take nimbus to drop us off at a random location.

We have fun exploring. I even teach him about certain plants that are ok, and those that are not ok. He got excited seeing how I caught fish. He even wanted to try, but was really scared. “It’s ok Gohan, maybe next time.” He was then so excited as we watched the stars.

“Daddy?”

“Yes Gohan.”

“Why you so strong? How did you get so strong?”

“Well, Gohan, I guess I was always strong. That what my grandpa used to say, but I didn’t believe him. How I got so strong, is by lots of training.”

“Why do you train?”

“I at first I used to train because it was fun. Then I trained to fight in a thing call the world martial arts tournament, sadly those ended when I fought a person named junior. Now I train to protect you and mommy.”

“So cool. What was the tournaments like? Who’s junior? What you mean by protect me and mommy?”

“You have a lot of questions today. What’s the matter Gohan?”

“I never get to ask while we’re with mommy. I get curious about what you do. And whenever you come home, I want to ask so badly, but mommy gets mad when I do. So, me asking now, since mommy not here.” I sit up, and reach out for my son. I place him in my lap, and we spent the night of me answering all his questions. When he finally fell asleep is when I reach out to Chichi.

How was your day? Did Gohan have fun? Why you took so long to answer? Calm down, Chichi. He had so much fun. He was chasing butterflies, and he asked me to teach him how to fish. He finally fell asleep. Chichi? Yes, Goku. Remind me again why I can’t teach him, at least, a little martial art. Goku, we talked about this. Please, drop the subject. Ok, I’m sorry. Love you Chichi. Love you, too, Goku. Good night. Good night.

…

The next daddy wanted to show me some fun stuff. He wanted to teach me something called ki. And he made me promise that I can’t tell mommy. Oh, this is probably a martial arts thingy, and mommy would be mad. So, me promised daddy I wouldn’t tell. He then did something and there was a glowing ball in front of him. I tried to do the same thing, but was so hard.

“Gohan, just relax. You’ll get it.” So, I tried again, and this time I got it. It was so fun. It did leave me a bit hungry, and I was reminded about the fish daddy was making. He said no food till after lesson. This was way more fun than any lessons mommy makes me do. He then went in explaining what it is. After another successful try, it was breakfast time. I’m so happy daddy took me camping.

“Daddy. Can we go camping every year?” He smiled and agreed. That made me so happy.

…

When my boys finally returned home, I was so happy. 5 days without my baby was so long, even that was too long away from Goku. When they came in view of the front yard, I couldn’t stop myself running up to them. My baby jumping into my arms, and I hugged him so tightly. Then Goku joined the hug, and spun us around. I was so happy that my boys were home. While Gohan told me stories of his trip, I was making a big dinner to celebrate them coming home. As I did so, Goku went to town to get a few supplies that I was running low on.

When he got back, we ate like a family. I then gave my boys a good bath, Gohan liked that. And then we all fell asleep together. I wanted to smother my boys, and that’s exactly what I did. Even they smothered me. It took two days before I let Gohan sleep in his room again. And when I did, I was smothered with love by my husband. “5 days are way too long, Goku. You’re not allowed to be gone for that long, ever again.” I laughed between kisses.

“So, next time you’re coming.” He said while kissing my neck. I agreed and loved me the whole night. The next day, was full with family fun.

[introvert--weeb]

CAN'T FORGET YOU

Bonten!Ran Haitani x f!reader (angst)

TW: mentions of violence, delusions

--

Ran knew there was a risk with you being with him. After all, he was a Bonten executive and wanted for all sorts of crimes. He had warned you about all of this but you remained with him, having already fallen too deep to turn back.

You both had a secret ceremony when Ran had decided to marry you. No dress; no guests except Bonten executives; hell, the person performing the wedding looked as if he had been brought here forcefully for this event. You were positive Sanzu would deal with him later so the news of the union between you and your lover wouldn't get out. Every precaution was taken. If you weren't already used to how Ran could be, you would have never gone through with this and left him. However, you wanted to be with the elder Haitani and so everything was perfect once you could call him your husband. That's all that mattered.

Although it wasn't common knowledge that you were married to Ran, he would make sure you were kept safe. Having one of the lower members of Bonten act as your bodyguard was a regular occurrence as you left the apartment. Even if it was to go to the convenience store at the end of your street, someone would be following close behind.

Life couldn't be much better for Ran. He was working with his little brother still, he was making good money doing what he loved, and he could go home to his beautiful wife every night. There wasn't much that the Haitani wanted for anymore. His life was almost as perfect as it could get.

News of a drive by shooting was quick to reach Bonten. After all, they ruled over Tokyo so they had to keep well informed over what was going on. Mikey had explained how the event had resulted in two casualties: one in critical condition and one dead. The executives didn't seem too bothered by the information. After all, entering Bonten was like a death sentence in itself. It just depended on when you would finally fall.

Ran tuned out the rest of what Mikey said about the topic. They faced losses of lower members all the time. Hell, Sanzu had taken a few out himself simply because his hair wasn't cooperating and the drugs had taken over all rationality. He wasn't sure why Mikey was making such a fuss over this.

The day had passed by quickly and while the rest of Bonten remained at their club, Ran wanted to get back home to his wife. With a quick farewell to the other members, the older Haitani was swift in his exit and had missed the look of sympathy Rindo and Kakucho had shot his way.

Unlocking the door to the shared apartment, Ran entered and expected to see you running over to him as you usually did whenever he got back. It was strange but he put it down to you already being in bed. However that did not do anything to lessen his disappointment. After all, he had come home to spend time with you.

But when he had entered the bedroom, there was no sight of you there either. Before he could allow himself to succumb to the panic that had starting rising, Ran checked his personal phone for the first time that day. Relief had filled him when he saw your message about going to the supermarket and being back to the apartment soon.

Ran gave out a sigh but a soft smile had taken hold on his face. He loved how you would keep him updated on where you were if you left the apartment. He loved you and wanted to make sure you were safe so those texts were one of his favourites. Deciding he might as well head to bed now he knew you were safe, the Haitani had stripped his suit and crawled into the empty bed.

A week had passed and you were acting distant with Ran. He would see you everywhere but you wouldn't take notice of him. You wouldn't come over to give him affection anymore and it frustrated him to no end. You were his wife, you should want to be around him and all he had gotten over the last few days were sad smiles from you.

"I don't even know what's wrong with her, Rin. She doesn't even talk to me anymore," the elder brother ranted while he was pacing back and forth, a hand running through his short dual coloured locks. Rindo simply looked at his brother confused. Who was he even talking about? The rest of the executives were all doing their own things so they didn't pay attention to the rant.

"Who are you even talking about Ran?" That was probably the wrong way to ask the taller man, Rindo realised. Confusion was etched onto the elder brother's face. What was Rindo even talking about?

"Y/N. Who the fuck else would I be talking about?"

Rindo felt his heart breaking for his brother. Ran noticed the sympathetic look that his brother gave him. Why would he look at him like that? What was going on? Why had Y/N stopped being the person he married? Why was his chest constricting? What the hell was going on?!

"Ran. Y/N died during that drive by shooting."

Everything was starting to make sense but also had the man confused. He had seen you. You couldn't be dead. In fact, he had seen you reading in your chair as he left for the warehouse that day. But in his heart he knew that Rindo was right. You had died during that shooting.

Tears clouded his vision as the puzzle pieces clicked together. It was his own grieving mind that conjured you up. It was his heart that couldn't forget you.

[artemiseamoon]

Nothing but trouble

*lil preview*

Artist! Dieter Bravo x Photographer/Videographer F reader

An: I can’t believe I’m doing this. Don’t look at me 😂

Quick background: this isn’t the first job Dieter hired you for. He drives you nuts and he knows it…but whose crazier? Dieter or you for taking his massive checks?

You’ve sighed so many times you lost count. As soon as this was over you were going to hide in the garden and open a bottle of wine while listening to music. You were pretty sure working with Bravo was turning you into an alcoholic. Moments like this, that big pay check was the only thing keeping you here.

The rest of the crew exchanges glances as he rambles on about something. It was no secret he went on a bender last night, again, and you were already three days behind schedule getting the damn footage.

“Dammit, hey, snap out of it!” You clap your hands together and Dieter, who was nearly falling out of the seat sits up, kinda, his hand is still tucked away in his barely closed shirt. He refused hair and makeup up, again, so even though it drove you nuts, you had to film him in his just-rolled-out of bed look. You were 100% sure he had bags under his eyes, so don’t fight him on the shades.

His PA was to the left, the poor thing seemed exhausted and beaten down. She mouths “I’m sorry” to you.

I should get paid more

You think to yourself. Dieter groans dramatically.

“Do I have to do this? It’s so…bright.”

“Well you’re hungover as fuck and yes you do. I lost three shooting days and you, as the star artist of the show, are the most important person I shoot so get your shit together.”

Dieter lowers his shades slightly, giving you that look. He smirks and glances over at his PA, then you, “I want you to be my PA, I’ll pay whatever you want.”

“No. I rather burn in hell.”

He chuckles and lifts his shades back up, “see that’s why I like you sunshine.”

You close your eyes for a moment and try to clam yourself. Working with famous people was already and nightmare and Dieter really made sure he gave you the hardest time.

“Fuck it, let roll,” you signal your crew and start. The interviewer asks him,

“Dieter, how excited are you for Metamorphosis?”

Dieter, with zero emotion, replies, “I’m really excited.”

…

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[rent-a-bat]

In the end, no

Drabble #5

Promt: #87 “Don't be scared, I’m right here”

Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader

Requested by: Anonymous

A/N: Thank you all who waited to see this one posted! and thanks to the one who requested it, im sorry it took this long but I had a serious case of procrastination. Hope you guys enjoy!

tw: character death

To say you were tired wasn't even close to how you felt.

You were exhausted. Mind, body and everything in between. You had been working nonstop for too long, you were starting to burn out. But as things started to ease out, you finally had time to relax. Today was the first time you'll be going home early and you no longer had to be the first one in the office to begin the day, which meant you'll finally enjoy your free time.

The trek from work to your home was long enough to allow you to list all the things you've stopped doing so far.

You haven't watched your favorite show, too tired at night to even look for it. You haven't read your book, started since the beginning of the year, and six months later still not even half finished. You haven't felt your bed, your body too tired to even feel how comfortable it was before sleeping. You haven't enjoyed your home, barely basked in its warmth and felt its love.

You haven't seen him.

That's what you missed the most. You would arrive too late to see him off before patrol, and your work was too early to say goodbye in the morning when he just came back.

A hand on your shoulder took you out of your trance. You jumped, your mind still somewhere in your thoughts. Your first reaction was to move away, but that only made them hold you closer, their grip on you too strong to break. Before you could panic, a laugh behind you made you react.

“Jason!” You shouted, getting out of his grasp as relief washed over you.

He smiled, clearly amused at your reaction.

“Hello, y/n.” His lips warmed you as he kissed your forehead. You rolled your eyes, not letting him get away with it.

Your fist collided with his arm as you scolded him. “Don't do that again.”

He laughed, holding you once more. Your body relaxing almost instantly.

“I won't do it again… maybe.”

“Hmm.” You answered, your arms circling his waist, pressing yourself more to him. It was an awkward position to walk, but you didn't care, it's been ages since you've been like this, and you weren't passing on the opportunity.

You walked for a few blocks in silence, taking your usual shortcut through the alley, Jason's presence enough to make you feel safe even in Gotham, before you talked again. “Hey, Jay?”

He made a questioning sound. “What?”

“Dick called.” You braced yourself for his reaction. Seeing as he was waiting for you to continue, you did. “He wants us to come for dinner tomorrow night.”

“He does now.” was his answer. You pushed yourself away to look at him, not leaving his arms.

“Yeah. He said, and I quote, ‘He misses his baby bird and wants to see him now that he's in town’” You said, your smile growing with his reaction.

He huffed, shaking his head, looking up at your building.

“Come on. Let's go for a little while and then we leave.” You tried to plead as you went inside.

“Are you sure?” He asked, already walking up the stairs, you followed him behind as he took the lead.

“Yeah. Besides, I like Dick.” He brushed against the walls as he turned to look at you, the hallway to your apartment barely wide enough for the two.

“Of course you do.” He gave you a smile that made you think he wasn't talking about his brother.

You turned away, not wanting to let him see you blush. ”And..., I want to say hi to Alfred”

You stopped at the open door, Jason moving aside to let you go first.

“I’ll think about it.” He finally said, your smile widening at his answer. With a kiss on his cheek you let the door close as you both were finally home.

Tomorrow came faster than you thought.

It was a nice dinner, even if Jason would rather eat his words than accept it.

You arrived at quarter past six, 15 minutes before you agreed, the nerves not letting you stay calm. Dick was already there before you could even knock, Alfred waiting by the door, as he came forward to hug you. You returned it just as earnestly, it had been a while since you last saw him and he definitely was your favorite of the brothers. Letting you go with a smile, he took you to the dining room, taking Jason with him by the shoulder in a half hug. Fighting to hold back your laughter, you followed, hugging Alfred as you passed him.

It was a surprise once you arrived, not expecting Bruce or Tim to be there as well, the two of them receiving you just as warmly.

Everything was great. Once in a while you would sneak a glance at Jason, the way he smiled and how he laughed told you he too liked these little moments with his family, when everything is simple, easy, and you loved seeing him like this, your heart a little warmer at the thought.

Bruce and Tim left after dinner, not waiting for dessert, saying they had business to attend to. Dick followed not long after, asking Jason to go with him. Which left you alone with Alfred, the two of you chatting over a cup of tea before cleaning up.

You helped Alfred wash the dishes and clear out the dinner before heading down to the cave.

You could hear a fight going on as you made your way down, shouts getting louder the closer you got. Jason was pacing as he talked, screamed, at Dick who remained silent, arms crossed while he looked at Jason, his troubled expression the only sign of his emotions.

"How's everything going, guys?" You asked as soon as you stepped out of the elevator, brow raised knowingly at them.

“It's going great” Jason's smile as he came towards you showing it was anything but. “Come on y/n, we're leaving”

“Jay, please, just think about it.”

“I said, no, Dick.” Jason said, taking your hand as he walked towards the elevator.

“What is he talking about?” you asked, pulling back to stop him.

“Nothing.” His answer was short, not looking at you.

"How is it nothing? I wouldn't ask you, beg you, if it were nothing." Dick sighed, pulling at his hair as he looked down, almost defeated.

"What is it?" You asked Dick, his head shooting up to look at you.

"It's this case we've been working on..."

"Don't tell her! She does-"

"No," You cut him off, "I want to know. What is it Dick?"

He shot a glance at Jason before he answered.

"We've been tracking an organization that's been involved in drugs for the most part, but as of lately, they've moved to weapons and human trafficking." He shook his head. "Guess they found a better way to make money."

"Those bastards." Jason said under his breath, huffing behind you.

"We've been following them in Gotham and Bludhaven for a while, but never got to the source." He looked at Jason, "that is, until Jason's last report."

You suck a breath. If they found the source then it means they could take them down forever. They could free not only Gotham and Bludhaven, but any other place they could have a base.

"We are going to the location. Take them by surprise, before they leave." Dick finished, crossing his arms.

You grabbed Jason's hand, feeling the heat of his body behind you. This was big, too important to let it pass and he knew too.

“When are they leaving?” you asked Dick, ignoring the look Jason was surely giving you.

“Right now.” he grimaced, “Bruce and Tim just left, they are on their way to the airport.”

You looked back at Jason, his eyes already on you. You could tell what he was thinking, you just got your time back, and now he was leaving, but you could also tell how much he wanted to help. That's why you knew what to say next.

“You should go, Jason.” The surprise on his face as you answered was one for the books.

“Y/n…” He began to say, still confused. You smiled in reassurance, taking his hand in yours.

“Even I know this is your best chance at getting them.” you squeezed his hand. “So, go.”

He stared at you for a while before he asked, “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. Go.” You patted his arm, giving him a little push towards his bike.

He stumbled back a few steps, his eyes never leaving you. He looked like a kicked puppy, and you couldn't help laughing a little.

“I’ll be fine , Jason." You fought for your smile to reach your eyes. "I'll be here when you get back."

“Okay.” was all he said after a long pause, barely a whisper, his eyes never leaving yours until he moved. He got into his bike, sending a quick message to Bruce to tell them he was going.

"I love you." He said before putting on the helmet, starting his bike before he left.

The sound of the engine almost covering your answer. "I love you too."

You watched him leave with Dick at your side, the cave suddenly too quiet for the two of you. Now that he had left you couldn't hold onto the smile anymore. You sighed, rubbing at your eyes to keep the tears threatening to come out at bay.

You paced the cave for a while, not wanting to stay still, too afraid of what would happen if you did until you finally stopped, letting your mind do the pacing.

You felt Dick at your side a moment after, his hand rubbing your shoulder to comfort you.

“Don't worry y/n. I'll stay here to monitor if there's any movement in Gotham”, his hand on you a comfortable weight, “I’ll also be in contact with them 24/7. If anything happens, you'll be the first to know.”

You sighed again, something you've been doing lately, tension leaving your body at his words. At least there'll be someone taking care of him.

“Thank you, Dick.” He flashed you a smile, offering his arm to you

“No problem. Come on, I'll take you home.” You smiled in response, taking his arm in yours.

Like that, hours became days, days became weeks, and before you knew it, 2 months had passed. Two months since he left. Two months since you've been alone. No. You weren't alone, he was still out there, working hard, saving people, and yet, you couldn't help feeling that way.

Dick was true to his word, letting you know everything as it happened, day by day, he would call to update you on the mission. Even when there was nothing to report he'd still call you, sometimes to talk, sometimes to listen, you knew he was trying to cheer you up, and you were grateful for that.

Other days you would go to the mansion, spending time with Alfred, letting him guide you through the mansion, telling you stories about Jason and the rest when they were young or chatting through a cup of tea, and with Dick down in the cave, as the two of you checked on them, how they were doing, if they were okay. It had become sort of a routine as you waited.

You were making your way home when your phone went off, your boss sending you home earlier and giving you the next day free after spending the last weeks working overtime, threatening to fire you if you came back without resting. You checked the id before answering, smiling when Dick's name showed on the screen.

"Hey Dick! How’s everything going?" You answered cheerfully, your good mood coming out.

"Hey y/n"

"I just saw Bruce giving an interview. Why didn't you tell me they were back?"

"Y/n…"

“And why hasn't my boy called to tell me? I swear if he tries another of his surprises…” you stopped mid sentence, Dick unusually quiet for a call like this. Anxiety building up inside you before you asked, ” Hey… what is it Dick?”

"Y/n…"

"What?"

"Is Jason.."

"What happened?" you said, dread gnawing on your insides

"I think it'll be better if you come to the mansion."

"I don't see how going there would be any different from telling me now."

“…” His silence became unbearable, your patience thinning with every second that passed.

The last of it breaking as you shouted, "Dick! Tell me!", worry more than clear in your voice.

He heaved a sigh before speaking. "They managed to get most of the men, but their leader managed to escape. He and another guy got into a plane and Jason followed them."

You breathed in sharply.

"He got onto the plane. It was loaded with weapons, mostly explosives. It took off before they could go with him"

No.

"A fight broke and there was a shooting"

No.

“A missing bullet must've hit one of those crates and” he took a deep breath, “the plane exploded.”

No!

"It fell into the sea"

You held onto the wall, your legs giving out, making you slide down to the floor

"Where is he?"

"They've been looking all through the ocean nonstop. So far, they've found two bodies. They’re still looking for hi.., him."

“Don't you have a way of knowing this!? A signal, something?” You were shouting, not caring for the looks people were giving you as they passed.

"The tracker was on his helmet, we believe it got destroyed in the explosion, that's why they haven't been able to find him yet."

It couldn't be. This isn't happening. Not- not again. Not to him.

“Y/n-”

“I'm going there” you cut him out, ending the call.

The next thing felt like a blur, each of his words ringing over and over inside your mind.

The plane exploded.

They are still looking for him.

There's still a chance.

You took a cab to the mansion, barely paying attention to the ride. You jumped out once you reached Wayne Manor, running as fast as you could to the entrance, Alfred already there before you could reach the door, so you went straight down to the cave, Dick waiting for you at the elevator.

“Hey y/n…”

“Please Dick. Tell me it isn't true” you shook him by the shoulders, trying to to stop yourself from crying. “Please tell me it isn't”, eyes burning as you pleaded

“I wish it was” he grabbed your wrists, rubbing circles, trying to comfort you as much as he could.

You shook your head, casting down your eyes, not wanting to see the truth you'd find in his. You didn't want to believe it.

“Please, please please please….” You could feel yourself falling down, your legs no longer holding you for a second time this day.

Dick hugged you, keeping you from reaching the floor. “I'm sorry y/n”

“No!” Tears blurred your vision. Your arms rounding his neck as you hug him back, his hold on you tightening.

It was your fault.

Maybe if you hadn't told him. If you had stopped him before he left, maybe then he'd still be here, still with you. Still alive.

No.

You wouldn't have changed a thing.

You knew Jason, you knew he thought the same. He wanted to help, that's all he's ever wanted. To give a meaning to his actions. He wanted to help those in need, to be useful, to be good. That's why he went, your words only helping to ease the worry of leaving you alone. That's why you said it, and you'd never regret it, and neither would he.

It wasn't your fault.

A sound from behind made you look back. Batman turned from the computer, taking a few steps before removing his cowl. He looked tired, defeated. So different from the looks he had for the cameras not long ago.

You ignored the way he looked, anger rising like a fire making you move away from Dick.

“It was you!” You shouted across the cave. Tears sliding down your cheeks as you made your way to Bruce

“You did this!” you hit him on the chest, your fists colliding with his armor. His face was tired, eyes filled with sadness. He had failed him again.

“You had to look out for him!” Another punch.

“You had to save him!” you said through your tears, your fists losing force.

“Why didn't you save him?” you finally sobed, pressing your forehead against him. The fire burning away, leaving only ashes, your body suddenly cold.

“I’m sorry” was all he said as he held your shaking body while you cried. His warmth and the feel of his arms on your back a comfort around you, but not the one you wanted, the one you may never have again.

You stayed at the mansion after that. Once you had calmed down Dick took you to one of the rooms, giving you a little briefing of what was going on. Tim had stayed on the island, looking over the search in case they found him. Meanwhile Bruce tried looking with the satellites, see if any of the old trackers in his body were still active. If what you knew was true, there was no point on doing that. Jason had taken them all out long ago, not wanting any of them keeping checks on him. Still, it was something, better than nothing.

You felt empty, and yet, hope remained in you, like embers of a fire not quite out, waiting for any kind of fuel to light up again.

You stayed for a week before deciding it was time to go back, those days barely spent doing the bare minimum, crying yourself to sleep every night, trying to console yourself as much as you could, after all you only had so much time off work, you still had to live your life, try to move on and wait.

So you did.

You kept working, doing as much to keep your mind from spiraling that way, from staying as far from your apartment as you could. Still your home but one that's grown colder with every passing day. It was hard, sadness and despair threatening to keep you from doing anything every day, and yet you pushed. For him. Moping around was not something he'd like for you, even if he wasn't here, but he could, if they haven't found a body yet you could still hope, you could still wait.

Hope was slipping down like water through your fingers. You tried to hold on to as much as you could, as long as there was even the tiniest possibility, you would, you could still believe he was coming back, coming home, coming to you.

What else was left?

The sound of your phone woke you up. You checked the clock on your stand. Not yet time for you to wake up, and barely one hour sleeping. Another night of tossing around, unable to sleep, the thoughts in your head too loud to let you rest.

You grabbed your phone, the name on the screen no longer making you smile. You sat up, moving your covers aside, letting your feet touch the floor, the coldness of it waking you up.

You took a deep a deep breath, steeling yourself before answering, getting ready for whatever was going to happen.

But nothing in the world could have prepared you for what was going to happen next.

"Hello Dick." You said, breathing deeply through your nose.

"Hello y/n. How are you?"

"What is it?" You ignored his question, going straight to the point. Whatever it was, you could take it.

You could hear Dick pacing around, almost hear the gears in his head trying to think a way of telling you the news

You could take it.

"There's been news on Jason"

You could.

"They found him"

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding, a wave of relief washing over you.

"You did!?" you shouted, "How is he? Is he- ?" You tried to ask everything at once, barely able to contain yourself before he stopped you.

"We don't know, y/n. The body-"

Your heart went still.

"It's been too long. "

The body.

"We are waiting for it to arrive. Run some tests, dental records, DNA.."

Not him.

"Due to his legal status we can't let them know it's him. We have to wait until he's back with us in Gotham"

"You're sure it's him?" you felt yourself asking, no longer connected to your body.

"There was no one else on that plane they hadn't found"

The last ember of hope went off inside you, leaving smoke to fill its place.

"Y/n?"

"I have to go."

"Wait, y/n! Let me come get you-"

"Goodbye Dick."

You ended the call.

Your phone hitting the floor at the same time you did, hugging you legs tight to your chest, tears burning your eyes, wetting your cheeks. The lump in your throat making it hard to swallow.

And just like that, as if a switch had turned inside you.

You screamed.

Screamed with every fiber of your being, your body shaking every time you did. Your tears falling down like rivers you wanted to drown in. You weren't crying, crying meant sadness, sometimes even happiness, an emotion so big it couldn't be contained inside, whose only way out is like that. This was so much more.

It was pain, full, raw, unbounded. It was despair and sadness, all coming out at once. It was your soul breaking, its shards leaving you with every scream, with every tear, making your face wet, your eyes burn, leaving your throat raw and hurting.

You did it until the smoke inside you left, leaving you hollow. You had to calm down, sobbing thickly, your vision blurry with drying tears.

You tried to breath, the air suddenly becoming too thick, making you dizzy. You could feel the walls pressing on you, too tight, too cold.

You were breaking, your chest hurt, like it would collapse any time now, taking your heart with it.

You needed to leave.

You left your apartment, not bothering to take a coat, welcoming the freezing air, letting it's bite bring you alive.

The streets were empty, fitting for the occasion, like they knew you needed to be alone. You closed your eyes, letting your head fall back as you took a deep breath, and began to walk.

You didn't know how long you were out. Walking aimlessly around letting the pain take you whole, your mind no longer there, trying to escape the grief that consumed you.

You felt hollow, empty, and yet, so full at the same time. Full of fear, of sadness, of anger. Jason was gone, and you didn't know how you'll fill the hole he left inside you. You weren't sure you could. You could only hope you'd learn to live with it, learn to ignore the pain and maybe one day, heal. Just not today, right now you would mourn, let everything out, even if there was nothing left inside.

Your feet were hurting, cold biting your skin, making you shiver before you decided to head back home, taking your usual shortcut through the alley.

Your head was still somewhere else, not even stopping to think about the dangers of your actions. It was Gotham after all, and Jason was no longer here to protect you.

By the time you realized what you’d done, it was too late.

With your head down you made your way to your apartment, less of a home now that he was no longer here, hugging yourself tightly, trying to keep the warmth from leaving. The sole of your shoes echoed through the alley with every step, digging into your flesh, making it hard to walk. The sky rumbled in the distance, which meant you had to hurry if you didn't want to get caught in the rain.

A sound ahead of you took you out of your musings, a second pair of steps joining yours making you look up. A man appeared right at the entrance of the alley, hood up and hands tucked inside his pockets, he walked confidently, like the biggest fish in the pond. The faint light of a nearby post lighting up his face, you could see his eyes fixed on you, his mouth turning to a smirk, whistling as he looked at you.

“Hey pretty, what got you out so late at night?”

You lowered back your head, still moving forward.

“I have to say, I wasn't expecting such a beauty to be roaming here when I came to to see who’s coming, but am I glad it is” he kept talking, almost too close now, making you slow down a fraction as you tried to get out.

“Haha, what is it? Cat got your tongue?” you could fill him right in front of you, making you stop before you could collide with him.

“Is it because we're alone? You don't feel comfortable talking with me? Is it the street? Maybe you need to warm up a little, the street is too cold to be out like that. Don’t worry sugar, we can fix that right away.”

You began to panic. One you could take out, outrun him and lose him, but if he was bringing more. You tried to stay calm.

“Hey, boys! Why don’t we help them feel more comfortable.” You raised your head, fear almost taking over at his words.

From the same place the first one came, two other men joined him, each of them flanking you on either side, both just as big, and the three of them smiling, their eyes roaming your body like they could see what's underneath your clothes.

“Leave me alone.” you said, trying to sound as confident as you could.

“Heh, looks like you're not a mute after all.” He laughed, taking a hold of your arm in a vice grip

“Don't touch me.” he laughed again, turning to look at the others, both doing the same.

“Let me go!” you shouted, pulling at your arm, trying to hit him, kick him, anything to get you free.

“Feisty, we're gonna need to fix that. Can't have you misbehaving like that, can we?” He let you go with a push, making you fall to the ground, the three of them laughing down at you.

You shook yourself, wincing as you stood, your left foot probably hurt. Your mind was running a mile per hour, adrenaline pumping through your veins with every breath, trying to come up with a wayout, a way to escape. You tried to look at your surroundings, taking deep breaths to calm you down, nothing good comes out from being anxious.

You were surrounded by residential buildings, maybe you could scream, ask for help, but screaming in Gotham did the opposite, people ignoring it for the sake of remaining safe.

You could bolt it, turn around and run as fast as you could, go back to the street and hopefully they'll avoid going after you. The guy on your left seemed to think the same, his hand going for the gun on his hip.

You could try calling Dick, or Bruce, but something told you he'd shot you the moment you even tried to pull out your cell phone. Maybe they were already on their way, looking for you, seeing how distressed you were by the news, but maybe not, maybe they were trying to give you space, let you sort things out. Alone.

You were trapped.

“Don't worry, we’ll be leaving soon. Ride's almost here.” the man on your right said, his smirk getting wider.

So much for being calm. You began to panic, breaths coming short as the men in front of you laughed, snickering between them, watching you crumble.

The sound of tires screeching behind you had you covering your ears, the echoing almost deafening, freezing you on the spot.

No. Not like this. They can't take you away.

You closed your eyes, as if it could somehow block out the world, make it turn into a dream, a nightmare you would wake up from. The pounding of your heart too loud on your ears to hear anything else, almost missing the presence behind you.

Your body moved on its own, going backwards like you could escape from it. The sound of someone coming closer hitting like a bullet with every step. They walked with confidence, fast, like an animal who had caught its prey, sure they couldn't escape.

You could feel your heart fall as you collided with a body, stopping you from moving any further, making your eyes burn as you tried not to cry, not in front of them. You jumped as he held you, his chest shaking behind you as he laughed.

The way he laughed sent shivers down your spine, the hands on you too hot. Too wrong. He squeezed your shoulders once before you felt the air on your back, freezing you as he moved away, his hands sliding down your arms as he bent down, his face getting closer to your ear.

“Don't be scared” his breath felt hot, making you whimper, no longer able to hold it in, letting your tears fall freely as you cried. Closing your eyes tighter, not letting them open.

You could feel him move in front of you, his face still close, nuzzling your neck as he whispered, “I'm right here.” You let out a sob, the force of it bringing you down.

It had to be a dream, it had to. There was no way this could be real, for he voice that spoke just moments ago was supposed to be dead.

Your love.

Jason.

The men that held you captive went silent. Holding their breaths at the sight of him, the Red Hood. The deadliest vigilante in all of Gotham crouching in front of you.

He raised his hand to brush away your tears, kissing your forehead before he stood up

“Keep your eyes closed.” he said. You let out a huff, only he could sound amused in a situation like this.

The whole thing was over in seconds. The sound of flesh hitting flesh, bones cracking, the smell of gunpowder flooding your nose with each shot fired, all of it filling the silence. One by one, they all went down, their screams stopping as they each fell. Only when the last of the bodies hit the ground were you able to relax. Your eyes still closed for another reason entirely, now wishing it’d be anything but a dream.

How could you live if it turned out to be just that, if you opened your eyes just find yourself back at your apartment, your tears still fresh and Jason still gone, dead once more.

“Y/n.” You heard him call your name, his voice ever so soft, cautious not to scare you.

You heard him shuffle, crouching once more in front of you. His body blocking the cold air of the night.

“Y/n… Look at me.” he held your face like you were precious, delicate, capable of breaking at the slightest movement, the pads of his thumbs brushing your lashes, trying to coax your eyes to open.

You shook your head, feeling tears fall again, the hands on you catching them before they fell to the floor.

“Please.” he pleaded, his voice full of want, of longing, as he whispered the word, his forehead warm against yours as his hands fell to your neck, rubbing your chin and behind your ears trying to get you to open, to see.

You took in a couple of breaths, steeling yourself before opening your eyes, the faint lights blinding you after having them closed for so long.

The moment you could focus on the person in front of you making you sob. The sight of him threatening to make you cry for the third time this night. He looked just like the last time you saw him, a couple of scratches here and there, but the same nonetheless. The same face, the same smile, the same pair eyes full of warmth, full of love as they looked at you.

You raised your hand to his face, slowly, careful, still not believing this was real.

“Is it really you?” you asked, voice shaking as you looked into his eyes.

“It's me.” a faint smile drawing on his face as he answered, placing his hand over yours, keeping it in place.

You cast down down your eyes, head hanging low as you shook it, not sure if shaking away the tears or something else.

His other hand came up, his fingers hooking up under chin, warm and gentle as he made you stop, tilting up your head, guiding you to look at him.

“It's me.” he said again, his eyes filling up with tears as he held your stare.

You grabbed his hand, placing it against you like he did with yours as you let out a laugh, happiness bubbling inside you before exploding, flinging yourself to hug him. Your arms tight around him, trying to bring him as close as you could. The force of your hug almost made him fall back, losing his balance before he recovered, putting his arms around you as he returned the hug just as fiercely, careful not to hurt you.

“It's you.” you said it over and over like a prayer.

You stayed like that for a while, basking in each other's presence, finally together. You weren't sure how much it had passed before you both let go, a thunder rumbling in the distance reminded you of your situation. You had to hurry if you didn't want to get caught in the rain, and yet, none of you made the effort to move.

A thought came to you as you looked at him, a memory of a conversation that now feels from too long ago.

“You promised you wouldn't do it again.” You said, your fist colliding with his arm.

His hand went to the spot you hit, feigning hurt as he laughed. “I said maybe.”

You couldn’t help but laugh too, too happy to stay mad at him. Not when he was here, when this wasn’t a dream.

With that thought you held him again, nuzzling your face to his chest, inhaling his scent, his hands rubbing up and down your back before settling on your waist, drawing you closer to him.

“Thank you for coming back.” you whispered softly, not sure he would hear you.

“Thank you for waiting.” he said in the same way.

You kissed as you both embraced, your arms around his neck, pressing your bodies tight against each other, the warmth between the two enough to ignore the cold as it began to rain.

Tag list: @togasknifes @thelindalorian @fizassyeda @apric-t @brightjimini @candlestudy @dickgraysonsscrumptiousbooty @profoundgreenturtle @little-miss-naill @drebi-san @vanessafinessa473 @hamilstuck99 (Message me if you want to be added!)

[oh-for-fic-sake]

Their Alright... For A Boomer

Masterlist

Summary: Being a girl with a larger chest always got you attention, maybe having your nipples pierced to try and fell more confident handt been the best idea, but how can you regret it when your latest client; the sexy Mr Cavill  was ogling them but could this end up being more then just that one time you were eyed by a hot celebrity?

Warnings: Suggestive, No Smut, Fluffy? Cute and funny, Swearing

A/N: this was a request from @fanficlover91​ i hope you like this hun, i tried to keep it hot but sweet and respectful? Which was a struggle but i hope i got the vibe you wanted. And as always i hope you all enjoy.

Taglist: In Reblogs.

You blushed as you looked down the lense at your model. He smirked sweeping his eyes over you non to subtly. You could feel the blues penetrating you with a hot stare. The was the distinctive fast clicks on you camera snapping a burst of shots managing to capture his smirking face and eyes sweeping over your form appreciatively.

You stood tall and smiled pulling away double checking the shoots. You bit your lip. Fucking hell this was both the best and worst job you had. Henry Cavill was the most enticing male you'd ever had the pleasure to photograph. He didn't even have a good side, every side was good! There wasn't an unflattering angle on the man!

"And that's a wrap? I think we have everything we need Mr Cavill" you said professionally making to move away from him and begin to swap sd cards and label them before packing away. Henry gawfed and rose quickly panicked almost.

"I- err no! Wait I was... Well hoping that I could have some more done?" he said chaseing you across the small studio you could hear his agent Leah scoff from the side lines. You frowned and looked to her nervously. The woman had been watching and tutting, scoffing and clicking her tongue through the whole session. It actually made you nervous, wasn't she pleased with the shoot? You were worried, being freelance this was your first time doing a celebrity shoot for a magazine but the usual photographer was in hospital having a stroke a few days prior and you were the only free photographer in the agency that was close enough to take the job. Sure you wasn't well known but still it was a little disheartening to have someone seemingly unimpressed with your work.

But it was when you eyed her you saw she wasn't giving you the evil eye. Her frown was directed at henry, a scolding look you'd give a misbehaving child. You frowned a little puzzled, but shook it off in favour of looking to Henry. Your actual client.

"More? I... I? Thought the piece only needed a few to choose from? They were very ah... How do I put it? Thorough? With the brief" you explained hoping Leah would step in and clarify just what was going on. Because you didn't have a clue.

"I yes but- I'd love to top up my portfolio? You know? I err yeah have a few changes going on and... I mean a few greys and such... Just want to update it a tad... I'll pay obviously- I'd pay anything for more time please?" he pleaded watching you closely eyes wide and bright full of hope.

"I... Err" you shifted swapping your camera from one hand to the other and craned your head around the man trying to spy his agent. But you had no hope of peeking around this gargantuan man. Just like with the camera he demanded your full attention.

"And for Instagram and stuff! There's only so much I can do in a selfie... I'd even recommend you- advertise your work!" he quickly added sounding desperate now. It would help you out if you did have a few shots of him for in your own catalogue. It shouldn't matter but having a celeb under your belt was actually a good thing. It meant you'd acted professionally and been good to work with.

"I suppose so, I do have a few extra sd's here... Tell you what I'll do another shoot for you as long as I can pick a few to put in my portfolio? Then we both update our files?" you nodded to him speaking slowly. He grinned and relaxed nodding quickly pleased with himself for wrangling more shots. You'd never know he was just glad to has more time with you.

"Oh yes absolutly! That's fine here should we get started now or?" he asked biting his lip trying not to stare at you for too long. But it was hard you were fucking stunning!

"Oh yeah sure iv got time, let me just sort these out and set up, need to switch, you've tired my poor camera" you said with a grin trying to ignore the man as he beamed at you looking excited nodding enthusiastically. You backed up and spun around trying not to blush as you felt henry gazing openly at you.

"Right well if the magazine ones are done I will be off then" Leah called packing up her bag with a small chuckle to herself. You froze and spun quickly seeing her seemingly abandoning you with Henry.

"Wha- oh you don't have to you can stay-" you tried to reason unsure why, I mean who wouldn't want to be alone with this huge glorious man? Maybe you just didn't trust yourself with him? He had been 'making love' to the camera all afternoon. Smouldering bedroom eyes that was making it hard to focus. You had been getting hot under the collar all day as you kidded yourself he was eyeing you, not the camera or would be readers.

It didn't help that you had caught him oogling your breasts earlier. But you wasn't mad, it was your own fault. It was the Hight of summer and you had on a string vest with a thin bra, that you could clearly see your nipple bars through. You didn't feel uncomfortable or anything, you didn't blame Henry for looking. You cant exactly ignore your tits.. The were pretty large for your frame. You were curvy but they were as one ex put it 'exceptional'. And besides he had looked not touched and he hadn't been a creep about it. In fact he had done a double take and then blushed when he realised he had been caught looking. But as you said you get that with big boobs, you'd had it your entire life, it was actually one of the reasons you'd got them pierced. It helped with your confidence and you convince yourself that they were looking at the bars. Not you per say.  

"Okay aunt Leah I will see you in a few days." henry interrupted you quickly smiling practically ushering the woman out the door. He moved fast ever picking the womans phone and juice bottle to help her leave quicker.

"Yes, behave Henry I'll see you soon" she said with a giggle before calling a thank you and goodbye over her shoulder at you. You swallowed nervously and gave a quick bye as the door clicked behind her and you were left alone with Henry. The man groaned stretching as he spun around a huge grin on his face, making your knees tremble a little. Fuck.

Henry came over and watched you closely as you scribbled the name and date along with the publication name on the sd case label. You tried not to notice as he hovered biting his lip then took off the blazer and threw it on the table beside you drawing your attention as he did grunting a little. The v neck letting the smallest amount of soft looking chest fuzz that had been teasing you all day. He grinned slyly as he caught you eyeing him and crossed his arms over his chest flexing for your benefit. You gasped and quickly looked back to the camera in your hands inserting a new scarf into the new fully charges camera.

"Soo how do you like this kind of work?" henry said casually trying not to seem like a creeper but god damnit he couldn't stop eyeing you. If he had known how sexy you'd be he would have demanded to be doing a bloody swim wear shoot!

"You mean people?" you stuttered trying not to look him in the eye. Not that it helped because the rest of him was just as fucking sexy! You quivered all over desperately trying to remember how to breath, yet didn't want to draw in too deep a breath and make your tits bounce for him and look like a slut. There was a very fine line for a big busted girl, to much wobble will make you look like your trying to get attention.

"I mean celebrities, magazines we were told you mainly do private shoots for events and model portfolios" he offered leaning forward as he leant back on the desk next to you hooking one ankle behind the other. The way he stood placed his crotch in your line of sight as you looked down and worked on setting up the camera. You flushed. Oh god he looked er... Bigger then you'd thought earlier, not that you were looking but... Well you couldn't help notice the package! The man was a fucking serial man spreader! And that thing was huge! With the muscles he was packing he could probably bench press you with his crotch!

"Oh well its different... And you sir popped my celebrity cherry" you froze on the spot as you said that, it had meant to be an ice breaker, a joke but instead had sounded fucking creepy!. You snapped up to him making to apologize as your face flamed mortified but he had thrown his head back laughing. The deep rumble sent chilled down your spine.

"Well I'm honoured to have popped your cherry~" he teased placing a hand over his heart with a cheeky grin making you blush and nod then turned to him with the new camera all set up.

"Soo where do we start?" you said moving on quickly looking up at him trying to forget the whole cherry comment.

"Where ever you want me, i will let you take the reigns command me as you will" he chuckled standing tall once more and looked about the room casually to the various small set ups, different furniture, seats sofas and mini tables dotting the space.

"I... Okay then you said Instagram? How about we start with some facials-FACE SHOTS! Face. Shots. Not facials fuck. Shit" you quickly tried repairing the damage whist cursing yourself wanting nothing more then to be swallowed up by the floor.

"No, no love facials sounded perfect~" he said winking before gliding past you making you stutter and almost choke on your breath. Oh good lord this was a bad idea. You followed as he sat down on a sturdy sofa and looked head on at you and bit his lip once again watching you with a sultry look.

And that was the beginning. You followed him about taking various snaps whislt having small talk. He seemed to be very flirtatious as he spoke, dropping lines and compliments as he made eyes at you. You flushed each time clamming up at his suggestive comments. And rightly or wrongly you flirted back trying to seem cool and suave. But inside you were fangirling unable to belive you were here with this incredibly gorgeous man teasing one another. On a few occasions he even growled as you scampered about him, crouching and taking shots from blow getting some delicious angles that dampened your knickers. Then in between all this he managed to get little tied bits. You'd told him you were on agency freelance and were trying to get into the social media platform as it seemed easier in this day and age rather then to be in fashion photography. You wanted to be commercial not private but no one would really take a chance anymore.

Then you suggested a few shots on the sofa laying back trying to think of something different for your portfolio, maybe a body length shot. He was quick to agree and dived onto the sofa saying he had an idea you swallowed nodding not fully trusting the look in his eyes. But that was forgotten as he relaxed stretching out over the sofa legs crossed and resting on the arm of his hands behind his head and a devilish smirk looking down the lenght of his body. You knelt at his feet trying to get a flattering image of him looking down but cursed as the camera wasn't playing ball. The lense was focusing, this was why you used the other one first, the camera had a few issues and was temperamental.

"What's wrong?" he asked frowning a little at you as you growled pulling the camera away fro your face and began trying to manually focus the lense.

"Oh its.. It wont focus.. It does this sometime, really need to throw it out but.. She was my first I'm sentimental" you said feeling silly as you battled with the camera.

"We all are with our firsts... How about you come closer instead, I really want to see this shot, never done one at this angle.. Out of all my shoots your the first to suggest this~" you froze and looked to him but he just smiled impishly at you. Slowly you rounded the sofa and leant over him positioning the camera at his stomach as he looked right into the lense giving you a definite bedroom eyes, half lidded and burning. Both dreamy and amazingly sexy. It was as if he could see you beyond the lense, as if it wasn't even there!

"You can come closer love, I wont bite, not if you don't want me to~" his voice was low and teasing, luring you in like a siren. You trembled and moved along him but he tutted and moved a hand to your hip and pressed, coaxing you onto the sofa and sat you on him making you straddle him. You gasped squeazing your camera tighter as he moved you easily, warm palms holding you both delicatly and firmly. You could see in his eyes he was weary unsure if he had gone to far but you squeezed him between your thighs and relaxed making him grin up at you getting the message you didn't mind at all. You aimed the lense at him once more and got the shots you wanted.

"Perfect! Mr Cavill" you said actually a little sad that this session was over. It had been nice playing this little cat and mouse game with him. But all good things come to an end.

"Ah now i have a policy love, when a womans on top they can call me henry, among other things~" he said smoothly laughing as you chuckled nervously fiddling with the camera in your hands and shifted over him a little.

"I will try to remember that for next time boomer~" you teased managing to overcome your nerves as you pulled away the camera with a giggle winking at him as he stuttered. For a second you thought you'd gone too far but a quirk to his lips made you relax once more.

"That hurt, that was hurtful" he teased pouting not releasing you from his lap, instead holding you tighter, fingers digging into your sides making you gasp and bit your lip as he pulled you to his crotch and ground into you teasingly.

"I'm so sorry~" you uttered breathless trying to keep yourself together. But this man was something else, like a drug- the devil all fanged smiles and smooth words. God you were fucked, you knew this man could do anything to you and youd thank him for it~

"I doubt that" he cooed and slid his hand higher growing more and more confident. The last few hours of casual flirting had built up his appitite. There was no misconceptions, you wanted him as much as he wanted you.

"Oh yeah?" you said coyly tipping your head to him playing along willing for this to happen, whether it be a one of fuck or something longer. You didnt have any complaints~ this was your body and youd enjoy it with who ever you wanted to!

"Yeah prove it!" he hissed and moved quickly sitting up and swinging around planting his feet on the floor. You yelped as he moved surprizingly fast and managed to keep you in his lap now face to face with you eyes roaming your face settling on your lips.

"And how should i do that" you teased tilting your head skimming your lips with his as you spoke. He groaned and held you tighter making you whine breathlessly willing this to happen. You wanted him and you wont deny yourself the chance.

"Make and old mans day" he said plainly and leant back resting on the back of the sofa, you watched him closely and brought your hands to his shoulders prodding at the neck of the t shirt and drew your fingers down slowly feeling him shiver at the light skimming fingertips.

"Oh really Boomer? And how would i make and old mans day?" you teased once more making him grunt but he quickly caught himself as your fingers smoothed over the teasing curls that peeked over his top. You scratched over them lightly with your nails making him draw a needy breath and chuckled at him. He was sexy and cute~

"By accepting a job offer?" he said before smileing smugly as you paused and frowned. Had you missed something? Was he after a freebee?

"Job offer? Really another shoot?" you snorted suddenly not feeling sexy, more like he was trying to butter you up for some fuck for parts shoots or something. He sighed and began speaking before you could get yourself all twisted. But then again you could have taken his offer wrong.

"Manage my social media. I have many companies and brands reach out to me for endorsements. They want me caught wearing their brands. But I'm to busy most of the time I cant make it to the locations they want. It actually doesn't seem worth it most of the time, with cost of flights and time lost travelling to and from studios itd be easier if I had my own personal photographer that travelled with me its be easy, slip on the clothes and what not take a few snaps and then you touch them up and post them on my social media." he explained watching as it sunk in that he wasnt trying to pull a fast one. Well he was but not trying to fuck you over... Just fuck you... And keep you because you were fantastic and he wants nothing more then to have you around hime as much as possible. In the single dat he had spent working with you, you had enchanted him, not only were you sexy but you were good at your job and easy to work with but also funny and cute and he needed to get to know you.

"Of course its a very big venture and we'd have to have a few dinner and lunch dates to work out all the nitty gritty" he added after a few beats of silence trying to make it clear he was interested... Very interested~ it worked as you fluched and a playfull look donned your face your fingers began stoking his chest hair once more. He relaxed shuddering under the nails as they teased his curls.

"Is this a big ploy to get a date Boomer?" you purred his new nick name making him groan when you squeezed him between your thick thighs once more grinding on him and the considerable bulge below you that twitched.

"No... Maybe is it working?" he said quickly hissing at you shifted in his lap once more, his hands snapping to your hips trying to still you before he came undone in his boxers. You were a very dangerous woman and something told him you knew.

"Well it sounds like an offer I'd be very, very interested in taking further~" you clarified giggling when he swallowed dryly and eyed you surprized that his plan had seemed  to work.

"Good to hear~ so got anything planned after this?" he asked feeling a wave of confidence at the prospect of snagging a date with you. He hadn't meant to sound so eager but... He was eager and that was that.

"Yes" you said with a straight face and got up off of him spinning around heading to the table with your camera bags. You gave him a glance and giggled seeing him still sitting there gobsmacked legs wide open and his crotch that was now definitely bigger then it had been earlier.

"O-oh" he stuttered seemingly unsure how to proceed. You giggled as he fumbled over his words. Then decided to grant him some mercy and began speaking whilst popping out the sd card from the camera labeling it like the previous one.

"You see I had a very cheeky client today who asked for a shoot last mineut. But I wasn't to bothered he was very very sexy even if he was a boomer, but get this out of nowhere gave me a job offer? And we're having dinner- he promised pizza~" you giggled glancing at Henry as he slumped in the seat realising halfway through that you were talking about him. He smoothed his hands over his face and jumped up coming over to you shaking his head.

"You know I'm not actually a boomer?" he quipped folding his arms. You rolled your eyes at him as you packed your stuff away making sure to recheck everything.

"Have you seen your selfies? Your a boomer, boomer" you teased making him scoff but laugh at the name that has now stuck.

"Wait you've seen my selfies? What do you think?" he asked wanting feedback on the silly shots he took. You paused halfway through zipping up your bag and turned facing him fully giving him a thoughtful look then shrugged

"Their alright... For a boomer" you giggled when he preened for a second then his face dropped into a pout when you finished the comment.

"I repeat...That was hurtful" he said covering his heart with a kicked puppy look making you laugh and hoist your bags over your shoulder and make for the door with him hot on your heels.

"Its fine boomer a second date will make up for it I'm sure~" you sniggered at him playfully looking back at him as he followed you out of the door.

"A date for each time you call me boomer? Deal" he quipped walking along side you offering you his arm like a true gentleman unlike the teasing horny little shit he had been all day. Not that you minded either. Gentleman on the streets, freak in the sheets and all that jazz.

"God we may aswell marry now then boomer" he laughed nodding in agreement the banter from the day still in play as you both left the building.

"Seems so, I mean were at ten that's what the kids consider boyfriend girlfreind territory" he anounced with a sigh playing on the 'boomer' joke making you giggle and roll your eyes as he mentioned the tally. Then you frowned and quickly counted your 'boomers' and opened your mouth you correct him, arguing that ten was incorrect.

"I think its nine boomer- ah see what you did their sneaky boomer!" you cried pushing him playfully at his little trick. He roared with laughter and quickly tangled his fingers with yours dragging you back alongside him guiding you down the street towards a place he knew served pizza, he didn't remember but apparantly he promised pizza...

[daryl-dixon-daydreams]

Words: 5,577 (Another long update!) Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader Reader pronouns: she/her Era: Alexandria Warnings: Language, mentions of abuse, violence, sexuality, nudity, typical TWD A/N: This one is long and I really think ya'll are gonna like it! A/N: This is part of a series! Find the previous parts on the Masterlist! Summary: Daryl and Y/N run an errand outside the walls to help Alexandria prepare for the fight against the Saviors.

Your name: submit What is this?

The first errand Rick had asked of you and Daryl since you’d come back to Alexandria was to check out a place he had a hunch had been owned by a survivalist type. Rick had stumbled on it while out hunting with Michonne, but a small herd of walkers had started to come through and the two of them hadn’t been able to explore.

You’d both agreed that you would go and search the place.

“If it is what I think it is, there’s a bunker out there somewhere. And there should be a cache of weapons and ammo that we need, along with medical supplies, food, all kinds of gear,” Rick drawled.

You glanced over at Daryl and he was nodding. “Ya. We had a neighbor like. Crazy hermit, but that bastard had a stockpile of automatic weapons the military would envy. Even had landmines, grenades, IEDs, all kinds of shit. Merle and I stumbled on it when we were lookin’ for moonshine. Booked outta there scared shitless he was gonna find out what we’d seen and hunt us down.”

Rick nodded. “I hope this is a stockpile half as well supplied as that. Even that much would go a long way against the Saviors.”

“What about that herd on the highway? The one we talked about using?” you asked.

“All taken care of. Tara is on it,” Rick said. “Just don’t be seen. Don’t take any risks. No weapons cache is worth them getting their hands on either of you again.” He gave you both a long, stern look and you nodded.

“Alright,” Daryl said, lightly touching your back. “We’re on it. We’ll be back before dark. If we ain’t, somethin’ went sideways.”

Rick grabbed his shoulder. “Make sure that doesn’t happen.”

The archer nudged his nose up in a final nod and the two of your climbed onto his bike and set out.

The ride was uneventful but slow. You had to cut through pastures, fields, woods, trying your hardest to avoid the roads, and the whole way you kept your eyes peeled for any sign of anyone or anything that didn’t look quite right. You knew the Saviors used a lot of lookouts and your stomach churned the whole way, even after stopping and scanning with your binoculars cautiously.

Daryl suddenly slowed the bike and flipped out the kickstand.

His palm grazed over your hand briefly before it slipped from him and you climbed off, already on high alert.

“I think from here we should go on foot. Looks like that sign Rick mentioned up ahead.” He unstrapped his crossbow from the back of his bike as you shouldered your pack and rested one hand on the handle of the gun at your hip.

“Yeah, I think your right,” you agreed. You could feel Daryl’s eyes on your and you stopped your searching over the surroundings to meet them. “Hmm?”

He shook his head a little. “Nothin’. Just… I always feel split between bein’ glad you’re with me out here because I know how ya can fight and wishin’ ya were back safe behind the walls.”

You laughed a little sardonically. “Yeah… I feel the same way about you,” you replied, unsnapping the leather loop on the sheath of your knife in case you needed to draw it quickly.

“Alright. C’mon. Let’s see if we can find this asshole’s stash,” Daryl said, starting to lead the way through the underbrush.

You walked in silence together for a while. Shadowing him was easy as you had spent so much time outside the walls (and inside) that you could almost anticipate his every footfall ahead of you. Daryl’s eyes were narrowed and focused on the ground. You knew he was looking for any irregularity in the soil, any out of place branches or vegetation. He was intensely focused and despite your nerves you loved watching him work. Your eyes swept from side to side and back over your shoulder as you ghosted behind him.

Finally, he stopped dead in front of you abruptly. You peered around him and you thought you knew what he was seeing. There was a slight unevenness in a patch of soil ahead. It looked odd.

Daryl moved steadily toward it, stepping even more deliberately and carefully. You had discussed that a true prepper-survivalist type may have felt inclined to install some booby-traps to guard their bunker and supply caches. You stepped right where he had, stretching forward with your front foot to match his long strides.

Daryl knelt down and glanced back at you over his shoulder. You gave him a nod to tell him you were fine and rested your hand on your gun again in its holster. He dug his fingers into the earth and you watched as he froze again. The next moment he swept a patch of the soil and forest litter aside and you saw gray metal beneath it.

It was definitely something.

It was a long while before you finally opened the lid. You had checked as best you could for any kind of booby-trap or trigger mechanism on the hatch, but you knew that you couldn’t anticipate everything. Sweat was pouring off both of you by the time Daryl had snipped off the last heavy-duty lock and grabbed the handle.

He glanced back at you and you drew your gun, nodding and let out one last exhale. Just in case.

Daryl heaved the heavy lid open and hurriedly stepped away. There was no sound coming from the underground space. He cautiously nudged forward and you did the same. “Holy shit,” he uttered. He glanced up at you and you watched as a smile grew on his face. “Fuckin’ jackpot,” he said.

You moved up so you could look down into the space. The walls were lined with shelves and cabinets and they were stocked with weapons and ammo and supplies. One whole wall looked like it was just different kinds of grenades and bombs. “Well, this will help,” you said softly, your eyes round as you looked at the cache.

“Hell yah,” Daryl said, still staring down into the space with some disbelief. He climbed partially down the ladder and grabbed a semi-automatic rifle for himself and handed you one too, along with a box of ammo. He moved further in and you followed down the narrow staircase. One cabinet was entirely stuffed with medical and surgical supplies. You slipped your pack off and tucked in some basic supplies. Daryl lifted a large bottle from the shelf in front of him. “Goddamn.” He looked at you. “Narcotic painkillers and antibiotics. This guy was definitely prepared for some shit to go down.”

You caught a bottle of antibiotics Daryl tossed to you and stuffed it into your pack too before shouldering it again. “Yeah. Didn’t save him though. He’s just a skeleton in fatigues at this point,” you said, referencing what Rick had told you he found that led him to believe there may be hidden supplies.

“Mhm,” Daryl hummed. “Alright,” he said, tucking some more ammo into his bag. “Let’s button this place back up and go bring some good news home,” he said, glancing over at you with one corner of his mouth quirked up in a half-smile. That look got you every time and you smiled back warmly at him.

You both climbed back out into the open air and Daryl locked the hatch with heavy duty locks that would at least defeat bolt cutters. You helped him cover the hatch over with soil and litter again, and you both erased your tracks as best you could as you started the walk back toward his bike.

You were about halfway back to the motorcycle’s hiding place when you suddenly froze. The hair on the back of your neck was standing on end. Daryl froze beside you, his eyes narrowed and whirring over the foliage around you both. “Daryl,” you said quietly. “I feel like someone is watching us.” Your heart was racing.

“Mhm. I feel it too,” he drawled quietly. “C’mon. Quick and quiet.”

You started to move through the brush again but you had hardly gone five steps when Daryl stopped dead. He had heard something. The next thing he knew a bullet whizzed past his ear. “Down!” he threw himself over you, pushing you to the ground as more bullets struck the soil and brush nearby. You gasped in panicked breaths. “Shit!” he growled. “C’mon. Let’s go!”

Daryl grabbed your hand and the two of you ran, hunched over as you heard more bullets, obviously fired from automatic weapons, flying through the air close to you. Daryl pushed you gently ahead of him. Glancing back over his shoulder, he could barely make out four figures rushing toward the two of you. “Go! Run!” The archer spun around and fired off some rounds back at the men, hitting one who went to the ground.

You readied your own gun and raced through the brush as fast as you could. You were almost back to the bike. You hazarded a glance over your shoulder and could see Daryl checking behind him every few seconds. There was a pile of downed wood and debris ahead and Daryl grabbed your hand and pulled you over behind it, sinking down on his knees beside you and hastily putting a new magazine in his gun. “Didn’t think we’d be usin’ these guns so damn soon,” he whispered harshly.

You nodded in agreement. “It has to be them, right?” you asked, meaning the Saviors. Daryl nodded.

“There were four of ‘em. I hit one and he went down.” He frantically peeked back around the wood you were hiding behind. They were getting closer. They definitely had some kind of vehicle, maybe an ATV, because he heard an engine turn on. He glanced back at you desperately. The two of you obviously couldn’t outrun that on foot, and even on his bike, with you behind him, you’d be a perfect target. He gulped. “Alright. Stay here. I’m gonna lead ‘em away from ya,” he said, readying his gun again.

“What?! Daryl! No! We do this together!” you argued.

“Nah. With you on the back of my bike you’d be right in the line of fire. That ain’t happenin’,” he said. “I’ll draw ‘em off, circle around and come back for ya. Just stay hidden!”

“I can shoot back! Hell, you know I’m a crack shot. Stop! No!” you said frantically, grabbing his arm. “I’m not letting you do this!” Your eyes were wide and fearful.

His blue eyes flitted over your face. “Wasn’t a question.” He peeked out again and he could hear the engine of the ATV coming closer.

“Daryl. Daryl—” you hurriedly tried to reason with him one more time. “Don’t!”

But all the archer did was give you one last look before he clasped your face in both hands and kissed you. He slid his hands down your arms and gave you a final look. “I’ll come back for ya. S’gonna be okay.” Your eyes flitted between his, your brow drawn down low.

“Daryl—don’t—!”

You tried to grab hold of him to stop him, but just at that moment you heard a stick snap to your right and you spun around reflexively to look. When you glanced back, the archer was already disappearing in the opposite direction through the brush. He was surprisingly fast, even crouching and moving as silently as he was. “Fuck!” you swore to yourself. You left the shelter of your makeshift cover and as soon as you had stepped one foot out you were met with a hail of bullets that pinned you back in, one of them almost grazing your calf. “Son of a—” You raised your rifle to your shoulder and tried to heave in a few steadying breaths. You shifted some of the large branches that were leaning up against an old oak tree, the central support for most of the downed wood. When you had nudged them just enough you could see out. There. You saw him. One asshole with an automatic weapon. You raised the rifle and when your cheek was settled against the stock, you let out a slow exhale, lined up the man’s chest with your gun sight and pulled the trigger. He dropped immediately, a crimson stain spreading out on his chest. You sank back against the rough bark of the oak and let out a relieved breath.

You peeked around the barrier of rotting wood and downed trees and strained your hearing. You heard an engine suddenly revving in the distance followed by some shouting and more shooting. “Fuck! No, no, no!” You left your hiding place and started to race almost blindly through the woods toward the sound. But now you heard a second sound, and it was Daryl’s bike. You ran toward it and broke into a slightly more open understory. You could tell that the sounds were moving away from you and when you skirted around another patch of brush, you could barely make out two men on an ATV speeding after Daryl on his bike, one driving and one shooting. He was leading them back toward an old logging road. You tore off after them, pausing to fire off a couple of shots at the backs of the men before they disappeared in the vast woods. Your lungs were on fire and there was a stitch in your side, but you kept running. Soon enough though, all sounds had faded and you were left terrified in the eerie stillness that followed. There was nothing to do now except conceal yourself somewhere safe and wait and worry. You felt horribly helpless.

Your stomach churned as you tucked yourself into a thicket of blackberry briars and dogwood, clutching your rifle so hard your knuckles were snowy white. It was agonizing waiting and you were almost in tears as the worst-case scenarios ran through your head. You knew Daryl could outrun and out-maneuver an ATV on his bike, but if the man on the back shooting managed to hit him… You felt like you could be sick. If you’d been religious, it would have been the hardest you ever prayed about anything in your entire life. Instead, you sat in anxious agony.

Finally, after what felt like hours and hours, you heard the faint drone of an engine and you got up onto your knees, keeping the rifle stock tucked tightly into your shoulder. You strained your eyesight and hearing as you peered through the brush. As it came closer, you recognized the sound.

Not an ATV. It was Daryl’s bike. But still you waited. “Please be okay. Please be okay,” you whispered to yourself in a mantra. The sound came closer and closer until you could hear the snap of every stick beneath the heavy wheels. At last, a figure on the motorcycle came into view. It was Daryl. He was scrutinizing the ground, obviously looking for a trail to pick up that would lead back to you.

You let out a huge gasp of relief and jumped to your feet, leaving your place of concealment and rushing into view. Daryl stopped the bike and climbed off. You barreled into him and pressed your face into his shoulder, your arms around his neck. “I am so pissed at you right now but so relieved you’re okay!” You squeezed him more tightly and that’s when he couldn’t stifle a small noise of pain anymore, more of an exhale than anything. You drew back immediately and really looked at him, your brow furrowed. The leather gear he always wore to ride was torn and shredded on his right arm from shoulder to hem and across the right side of his back. He’d obviously had a reasonably significant fall and slide.

“Oh my God. Are you okay? How bad—” you asked desperately, now noticing that you could see some dark splotches staining the black leather jacket.

“M’fine,” he said, brushing it off. “I took out that one in the beginning and those two on the ATV but there was a fourth one.”

“I got him,” you said, searching his face which also had an abrasion on the right side near his hairline. You lightly turned his chin so you could look at it.

“S’okay. It’s nothing,” he said, gently taking your hands in his. “We gotta go. Let’s get outta here in case there are any more around…” he drawled, turning back toward his bike. “Lucky my bike ain’t fucked up,” he growled. But you caught his hand gently and he turned back. You arched up onto your toes and Daryl registered the fear in your eyes before you pressed a kiss to his lips, your eyes shut tight as you let the anxiety that had plagued you in his absence finally diminish. Daryl drew you into him and kissed you back.

“Okay,” you sighed when you broke apart, the worry line near your left eyebrow still quite pronounced as you met his blue eyes again. “Let’s go.”

_ _ _ _ _ _

When you made it back to Alexandria, Rick was the one at the gate. He rushed to climb down from the lookout post and hauled the gates open to you. Daryl paused and turned off the bike as Rick seemed to take in both of you and your condition.

He saw the blood staining through Daryl’s jacket and a shadow grew on his face. “What happened?”

“Take a wild guess,” Daryl drawled.

Rick let out a sigh that was part growl. “How many?”

“Four,” you said, your arms still wrapped gently around Daryl’s waist as you sat behind him on the bike. “We got all of them.”

Rick closed his eyes for a moment and nodded. “You alright? You need a doctor?” Rick asked Daryl, nodding toward the dark splotch of blood on his right arm.

“Nah. Just caught a good slide. Bit of road rash. I think I’m okay,” he drawled.

“We’ll see,” you said pointedly.

“New guns,” Rick said, his expression turning hopeful.

“Mm,” Daryl hummed. “Ya were right about that place. We found a cache. Enough explosives to blast every one of those sons’a bitches to Hell and back three times. More guns. Ammo. Medical supplies. It’ll be a huge help.”

Rick actually cracked a smile and nodded. “It’s a good start. A great start. I’m sorry you two ran into trouble. You sure you’re alright?”

You nodded. “It was a little dicey… but we’re here,” you sighed.

Rick nodded, his expression serious once again. “Alright. Go on and get cleaned up. You two have done more than enough. Thank you.”

Daryl started the bike and drove down the street, parking it in Aaron and Eric’s garage as usual. Then, the two of you started back to your house. You kept glancing over at him the whole way and finally Daryl met your eyes. “What?” he prompted.

“I’m trying to decide how mad I am at you for that shit you pulled out there,” you said.

“Now ya know how I felt when I found out ya had put yourself back in there with him,” he countered, and you realized he had a point. You pressed your lips together thoughtfully and nodded before gently lacing your hand with his, your fingers fitting between his perfectly and feeling like that’s where they were meant to be. Daryl gave your hand a gentle squeeze.

You were both exhausted and Daryl was more than a little sore. He really wasn’t looking forward to peeling his gear off and seeing the damage. You dumped your pack in the kitchen and busied yourself with pulling out the supplies and sorting them, some to go to the clinic and some to keep. Daryl carefully started trying to pull off his leather jacket, wincing at every muscle twinge. You looked up and saw him struggling and were reminded of how he had helped you with your jacket and flannel under similar circumstances, and then stayed to stitch up your arm, so long ago when you were practically strangers. You made your way over to him, your hands surprising him a little as they landed gently on his sides. He froze and glanced down at you, his jacket not even halfway off.

“Can I help?” you asked him softly. He nudged his nose up at you in a grateful nod and ceased his struggling. You gently pulled off his outer layer, letting it fall to floor in a soft pile. Your eyes took in the large bloodstains on his shirt, the cotton fabric wicking the crimson up easily. Daryl watched your brow furrow with concern again and he sank down heavily on a nearby stool. It suddenly settled over him just how bad things could have gone with those Saviors and he allowed himself to realize how terrified he’d been. It weighed on him and you easily saw the change.

You moved close to him again and Daryl’s arms immediately circled around you, pulling you into him until you were standing between his legs, as close as he could get you. He hugged you to him and breathed in your smell, his head resting against you just at the bottom of your breastbone, his touch needy and desperate. Your fingers immediately stroked through his hair and the archer listened to the steady rhythm of your heart beating in your chest. “We’re alright,” you said gently. “We made it.”

“Mmm,” Daryl hummed vaguely.

You both stayed frozen like that for a long while, each needing the other’s touch, until finally Daryl straightened up with a sigh. He glanced at the crimson splotches on the right sleeve of his shirt and anxiously chewed on his bottom lip. “Should probably just go up and shower,” he murmured. You nodded, withdrawing from him slightly. Your eyes immediately caught sight of the red stain across half his back again. Your stomach twisted.

“Y/N,” he said, interrupting your train of thought and drawing your eyes to his again. “Would ya, um—would ya—” he stalled out, his heart racing with nerves.

But there was sudden realization and surprise in your eyes and then your expression softened, and Daryl thought he saw a soft flush in your cheeks. “You want me to come with? Help you get cleaned up?” you asked softly.

He nodded, this time his eyes meeting yours and staying there. “I need ya,” he drawled.

You nodded at him and Daryl watched as your lips curved gently. “You’re okay with that?”

He nudged his nose up in a nod again, still holding your eyes. “Then, of course,” you murmured. “Come on.” Daryl stood and laced his fingers with yours. You trailed behind him upstairs and into the master bathroom. He sank back against the counter, not releasing your hand and pulled you into him again, studying the slope of your nose and all the flecks of color in your eyes.

You stroked a finger along his strong jaw and looked up at him. He released your other hand and wrapped his arms around you. You easily saw that he was nervous, the prospect of you seeing his old wounds looming so immediately in front of him, not to mention the normal nerves that come with another level of intimacy, and you wanted to put him at ease. “Hey—I don’t care about your scars, remember? I care about you. Every bit of you. Okay?”

Daryl leaned in and kissed you. It was sweet and gentle and a little pleading, and when he pulled back you found yourself wanting more, but you needed to patch him up. Your fingers went to the buttons on his shirt and you paused at the first one. “You’re sure?” you asked him, one more time, and the archer nodded, and clasped your face in one hand, his fingers tangling into your hair.

“M’sure,” he said quietly.

You nodded and unbuttoned his bloodstained shirt, your fingers occasionally brushing his bare skin underneath and sending goosebumps rising on his skin. Daryl’s heart fluttered at the sensation.

You pushed one side of his shirt back and it fell away from his left side as Daryl slipped his arm out. Your eyes hitched on the uncountable scars across his strong chest and stomach and your heart ached even while anger burned in your stomach that someone, anyone, could do such horrific things to a child, let alone their own son. Let alone Daryl.

Daryl gulped as he saw you taking in the sight of his bare chest, your eyes seeming to catch on the ugly scars crisscrossing his skin. But you quickly refocused and did your best to gently pull away the remaining fabric of his shirt from the swaths of road rash across his back, shoulder, and down his right arm. The cotton was sticking to the wounds and you apologized as it tugged a little as it came off. He was finally free of the fabric and you examined his injuries, your fingers so light they could have been the kiss of a breeze on his skin. The abrasions were large and you could tell he would be bruised and swollen from the fall. His muscles were already sore and tight from it.

When you finally straightened up and met his anxious blue eyes again, you gave him a small, reassuring smile, clasping his face and planting a gentle kiss on his lips, sweeping his hair out of his eyes. His arms draped around your lower back again, capturing you.

He gulped at the tightness in his throat. “Told ya they were worse than most,” he drawled quietly, ducking his head, self-conscious.

But you pressed your hand flat over his chest and felt the beating of his heart. Your thumb ran the length of one of the scars on his chest, your expression sad and thoughtful, and you leaned in and planted a kiss on it. Daryl looked up at you like he had never in his life expected anyone to even think of doing such a thing, and the surprise in his eyes left you aching. Your fingers found another scar and you repeated the action, leaving a kiss there before meeting his blue eyes again. They were a little bewildered. You felt the fingers of one of his hands tap a little anxiously on your lower back where they rested and he was still chewing on his bottom lip. You moved beside him kissed the end of one of the long scars that cut across his back, before resting your chin gently against his shoulder and carefully draping your arms around him.

“I see you, Daryl. I just see you.”

He was almost overwhelmed at your tenderness and just as he was struggling to come up with something worthy enough to follow all that, you broke from him and turned the shower on, testing the temperature of the water on your wrist until you were satisfied. Daryl watched you in disbelief as you came back to him with a small smile.

You leaned into him where he was still leaning against the counter and he watched as your fingertips floated to the hem of your shirt and you swept it off over your head and discarded it on the floor. You were sure your cheeks were a little extra pink, but at the same time you were amazed at how safe and comfortable and natural this all felt. Daryl pulled you more tightly into him, drinking in the sight of you, needing to feel your skin against his, his hands wandering over you with no fabric to keep his fingers from you. He pressed you against him and left a kiss in your hair. Soon the two of you were both all just skin, jeans and boots and underthings discarded on the floor. Daryl felt like he was in a daze as you gently pulled him toward the shower and under the warm torrent of water with you.

He held you against him and you both enjoyed the warmth cascading over your bare skin. Daryl shut his eyes and leaned his head back under the hot stream of water and you watched as some of the weight that had been on his shoulders since the scramble outside the walls suddenly lifted.

You grabbed a soft washcloth and gently passed it over his wounds, watching the dirt and dried blood wash away, tending to his arm and his back. You could see a tinge of deep purple bruising already forming where his body had collided most heavily with the ground. You looped your arms around him from behind, fingers splayed out on his strong stomach, watching the rivulets of water flow over his scars, and Daryl’s hand landed over yours. He turned and pulled you into him, needing to see you, his fingers gliding over your smooth skin, following the edge of your shoulder blade and down the curve of your spine, his eyes closed, learning you by feel. You looked up at this strong man, a true protector and warrior, yet who was capable of being so soft and your heart swelled. Daryl’s eyes opened and he looked down at you, the heat of the water bringing a rosy hue to your cheeks.

You lingered in the heat of the shower, smoothing the soap over each other’s skin, drinking in the closeness and intimacy. You washed Daryl’s hair and he thought he could fall asleep standing up with how relaxing it was. He returned the favor and you laughed as he almost got shampoo in your eyes. He smiled at you apologetically. “Sorry,” he drawled. “Almost blinded ya.”

You grinned at him. “It’s alright. You just need more practice.”

One corner of Daryl’s mouth quirked up and stayed there. He nodded. “I’m in.”

“Alright,” you said softly. “I think we’ve used enough hot water for now.” You leaned into Daryl, reaching behind him to shut off the tap. He watched the droplets rolling down from your collarbone and he felt a familiar bloom of warmth in his chest.

He pressed his hands gently into your lower back and met your eyes. “Thanks,” he said. “Just what I needed.”

You nodded and gave him a small smile. “Me too.”

Daryl reached out and grabbed the towels you had set out, wrapping you in one first before using his own. You stepped out into the bathroom and he watched as you wrung out the water from your hair. He still felt like he was in a dream, bewildered that with each step of intimacy between the two of you that he felt more and more safe, more and more sure of his feelings. There was a dark part of him that still doubted this, still expected you to run at some point, but it was shrinking. You were constant and continually showing him how important he was to you.

The archer moved against you as you stood in front of the mirror, combing out your hair, and his hands landed on your hips, sinking into the terrycloth material of your towel. He placed a kiss on the side of your neck, gentle and sweet, and your heart skipped a beat as you met his eyes in the mirror and smiled.

“We’ll just patch you up a bit,” you said. “Antibacterial ointment. Then… I’m tired,” you admitted.

“Me too,” he agreed. “Want nothin’ more right now than to be in bed with ya.”

You nodded. “Then let’s finish taking care of you and make it happen,” you smiled. You both pulled on some clean, comfortable clothes and Daryl sat on the edge of the bed as you finished tending to his wounds. Finally, when you were satisfied, you collapsed into bed beside each other. Daryl draped his arm over your waist and his fingers drew absent circles on your back. You smiled at the sensation, your eyes shut, and focusing on the feeling of his chest steadily expanding with each breath. You slipped your hand underneath his shirt so you could rest it against the bare skin of his side.

“Thank you,” Daryl drawled quietly.

Your eyes fluttered open, questioning. “Hmm?”

He shrugged a little. “Just thank you. You’re the most important thing to me,” he said, his tone warm and soft.

You studied the look in his blue eyes and nodded. “You’re the most important thing to me too. Thanks for being right here,” you said, moving in closer to tuck your head into the crook of his neck.

“Never want to be anywhere else,” he said. And soon the two of you drifted off to sleep.

[urimaginespimp]

Three Months Apart

Tommy x Reader

angst + maybe a happy ending?

--------

Today was the day you were going to ask him.

You’ve been with Thomas for over six years. The countless parties and weddings you’ve attended together become more and more intolerable. All because every time you went to them, the more you wanted to have your own.  

It didn’t help that your family was pressuring you to it, no matter how against they were of your relationship. Your father often told you, that If you were going to associate yourself with such a dangerous family, might as well make sure you’re officially entitled to their protection.

You gave him the signs, hell even Polly and John started dropping their own hints at him to help you after they figured out what you’ve been trying to do. But as much as Thomas was one of the most intelligent people you know, he seemed to be oblivious about it.

Pacing back and forth outside his office, you were close to backing out when the door opened, revealing Thomas.

“Is there a reason why you’ve been pacing back and forth out here for the last three minutes?” your boyfriend asks you with a smile.

“I uh… wanted to talk.” You answered quietly, walking inside.

Thomas was confused with the nervousness of you voice. Closing the door, he turned to see you already on the seat in front of his desk, fidgeting with your fingers.

“Is there something wrong, Y/N?” He asked you.

“A friend of mine from London is getting married next month.” You don’t know how, but that lie just rolled off your tongue.

“Y/N, you know you don’t have to be nervous about asking me to be your date, right? We’ve gone through occasions like these about a hundred times.” He chuckled.

“Right. We’ve been through a lot of weddings.” You nodded, smiling. “But I never got the chance to ask you the very same thing I often ask my other unmarried friends.”

“Well shoot, darling.” He walked towards you and took the seat opposite yours.

“Do you think they’re making the right decision?" you finally asked him, feeling a rush out of your system. You didn’t even realize how tense this has been making you.

“Frankly, if it’s no benefit for a company, like let’s say an official alliance, then it’s a waste of time and money.” He answered nonchalant, taking a cigarette out of his pocket.

No matter how appalled you were at his response, you tried not to show it.

“Not even if they do love each other?” You felt your throat tighten up.

Thomas sighed. “If they really do love each other, they wouldn’t need to have such a unecessary event to shove it to other people’s face.”

“Good God, Thomas.” You whispered.

“Tom, it’s more than just telling the world how much you love each other. It’s also sealing devotion to each other. Giving them the gift of the right t-to let’s say, visit you in a hospital without having to wait for a real family member tell them that you are indeed the patient’s significant other. Or not having to deal with stupid people labeling you as their whore or temporary piece anymore.” You ranted to him, not being able to hold back in including your personal reasons.

“Is this what this is all about? You let those petty comments in your head even after years of being together?” He asked you, irritated. You stood up from your seat.

“I’m a woman, Thomas. And it’s quiet disappointing that at this time of age, being one still isn’t that significant. I quit my job for you. I left the comfort of my family’s home for you. Everyone I run into knows I’m with you. Now God forbid, but what would become of me if one of your dangerous antics would lead you to your demise? Who would hire a Shelby trash? And I might as well kill myself if I’d have to go back and hear my mother’s non-ending comments about me.”

“You know my family’s still going to take care of you.” He answered quietly, still wrapping his head around your sudden outburst.

“That’s not the point.” At this rate, you were gripping your dress to stop yourself from crying. Not until you ask him one more thing at least.

“Have you even thought about marrying me?” You blinked at him, hopefulness laced your voice.

But for the first time in the years you’ve been with him, Thomas Shelby was out for words in an argument. Your question left his mouth parted, trying to give you an answer.

Your stomach dropped. The defeated look on your face almost pushed him to give you the lie you wanted to hear, but he couldn’t do that to you.

“I understand." You said looking down at your dress and running your hands through it as if an effort to smooth it out, when you were only trying not to show the tears that have finally spilled.

Taking a deep breath, you prepared yourself from the dreadful thing you were about to say next.

"I can’t do this anymore.” You barely said and willed your shaking self to walk out from him that day.

--------

That was three months ago.

You were in your father’s debt for helping you “disappear” off the radar for a little while. He sent you to live with a wealthy distant relative in the countryside, giving you time to pick yourself up and work on your personal happiness again.

It was safe to say that you were getting there, if it weren’t just for your own mind betraying you every once in a while, when you’d unexpectedly think or dream about him.

And of course, there were times where you almost regretted that day. You were already happy, right? But at the same time, it was better than spending more years before realizing he’d never marry you.

Thomas. You hadn’t heard directly from him ever since that day. Of course you gave a haste tearful goodbye to everybody, promising to write to them in the future. But it was a few letters from your sister that gave you a few updates.

She’d told you how he came to your family’s home a bunch of times on the first month, asking for your father’s favor to tell him where you were. On the second month he’d resort to calling every now and then, but on the third, there was nothing.

You guess he’d finally move on. And that was your cue to finally come home.

A few days back in your family’s home, one of your maids handed you an invitation to your name. It was dated a month back, but what caught your attention was that the seal was clearly already opened.

“It got delivered straight to the Shelbys first, miss.” She told you after seeing your confused expression.

Giving her a nod and a small smile, you opened it and saw that it was a formal invitation to a friend’s engagement party, set three nights from now.

“Should I send you sincerest regrets?” She asked you, and you stared back at her. “S-since you just got back from a trip.” She clarified awkwardly.

“No. Just go with me to find a dress tomorrow, please.”

--------

“I almost lost hope that you’d even come, Y/N” your friend hugged you as soon as she got you alone after introducing you to her betrothed.

“Don’t be daft. I’d never miss a chance to see my friends happy.” You smiled at her. “I never even knew you were dating someone.”

“Yeah, it’s for the family’s benefit. We like each other though, so it’s no problem.” She explained, chuckling. “So…” she continued. “Where have you been these past few months? I tried calling but all I got was that you’re out for a vacation.”

“I’m no longer with Thomas. Had to clear my head for a lil bit." You smiled awkwardly. Sooner or later you had to tell people anyway.

“Y/N I- I am so sorry for the invitation mishap. Had I known, I wouldn’t have sent it to his address or listed him as your plus one.” She squeezed your hand in remorse.

“It’s fine, really. You didn’t know.” You assured her.

She was smiling at you in gratitude, but something behind you caught her eye that made her gape in surprise. Curious, you turned your head and saw that it was no other than your ex-boyfriend heading your way.

“Do you want me to get someone to escort him out?” You friend asked in panic. Turning to face her, you took a deep breath to calm yourself.

“No, I’ll handle it. What I want you to do is enjoy your party, okay?” You smiled reassuringly. Giving your hand one last squeeze, she excused herself when Thomas was a few steps away.

Turning to face him, you were surprisingly feeling calmer than expected.

“Mr. Shelby.” You addressed him with a curt nod.

“Can I talk to you in private?” he cut to the chase. You bit your tongue back from making a remark about his lack of greeting, after seeing how his eyes were pleading despite his cold tone.

“Lead the way.” You found yourself saying.

On your way to wherever he was going, you caught your friend’s worried eye, and gave her a playful scolding look for not enjoying herself like you asked. Sure enough, he led you both in an unoccupied room that looked like someone’s study.

As soon as he closed the door behind him, you were taken aback when he suddenly charged at you and engulfed you in his arms. Thankfully, you were quick enough to steady yourself so that you both wouldn’t fall.

“Please don’t ever call me that ever again.” He whispered in your ear, shakily.

“W-wha-“

“Mr. Shelby. Please don’t ever call me like I'm just some associate. I hate it.” He cut you off. Your eyes watered at the tone of his voice. It sounded like he was as miserable as you’ve been these past few months.

Unable to give him any response, he slowly finally let go of you from his embrace and faced you. Looking at him, he was in one of his expensive suits, but that could only take away a little of your attention from his real state.

He had never looked as tired as he does right now, he looked like he lost a few pounds, his skin was paler than usual. You resisted the urge to touch his face.

“I’m sorry.” He finally spoke up.

“I’m fine now, Thomas.” You answered, though the lone tear that rolled down your cheek said otherwise.

“I’m not.” He answered frankly. “These past three months have been hell, Y/N. I kept going to your father, begging him to tell me where you were, until Poll told me that the more I persisted, the longer I wouldn’t see you.” He wiped the tear on your cheek with his thumb.

“H-how did you know I’ll be here?” you whispered, still trying to find you voice.

“I opened the invitation. But I risked going here just without guarantee you'd come.” He explained to you.

“I was in a distant aunt’s home. I just had to get away.” You didn’t know what else to say, so you told him where you’ve been. “It had a big garden, and I was treated really well there. They gave me everything I requested, I got to ri-”

“Marry me.” He told you in the middle of your babbling, catching you off-guard once more. “It was selfish of me to merely think of marriage the way I did, without even thinking about how it would mean for you.”

Recovering from the shock, you shook your head at him.

“No.” You replied sternly.

“No?” the hurt in his tone didn’t go unnoticed.

“I don’t want to force you into doing something you don’t believe in Thomas. I left not because I didn’t love you anymore. I did it because we want different things, and we both deserve to be with someone who would have the same mindset as we do. Because yes, I would’ve just accepted your answer and be content with our relationship. But I knew that along the way I’d start to resent you. I never want that to happen.”

“But that’s the thing, Y/N.” He held both of your arms. “When you left, I thought about everything you said and asked. You asked if I ever thought about marrying you. No, I haven’t, but I always thought about spending my life with you, having kids, owning a home together, and all that hosting events bullshit.” He chuckled. “And I realized that I can have that. But I also want to make it official first.” He added softly.

At this point, you couldn’t answer him anymore as tears prickled your eyes. Then he got down on one knee before your standing figure.

“Now please, Y/N. Will you take me out of my own misery and give me your hand in marriage?” He was already crying too. Who knew that the excruciating past three months would lead you both to here.

But just when you were about to give him your answer, the door suddenly opened, revealing your friend who had worry written all over her face. But it quickly turned into a shocked one when she saw that what Thomas was doing.

“I thought you were in trouble since you were taking too long.” She smiled sheepishly at both of you.

You smiled back at her. Then turned your attention back to Thomas.

“I guess we should invite her first, then.”

[gyucore]

SHELTER: D-1

pairing: ot5 x reader (individual endings + true end)

chapter tags: zombie apocalypse au, angst, mystery

synopsis: an unknown illness has rapidly spread throughout the world, taking down nearly the entire population and turning them into mindless vessels of death and chaos. in the midst of the rubble, you and your partner find a notice of a safe zone, and are taken in by a small group of survivors. you only have to hold out for seven more days until rescue arrives, but danger lurks at every corner, and not everyone can be trusted.

word count: 3.6k

warnings: mentions of death and suicide (?), profanity

update: changed D-1 to starting line. this chapter will be titled D-1 instead

master post | starting line

Over and over again, you're forced to watch the same horrific scene play out in your head.

You couldn't forget sensation of warm blood pooling down your arms as you held your friend's cold and lifeless body close, the piercing scream of another who'd felt so desperate and afraid, and Beomgyu's face.

He'd trusted you, they all did, only for you to fail.

“Hey.” You feel a weight on your shoulder. You look behind you, silently hoping it had been Beomgyu who wanted your attention, only to realize it had been one of the strangers. Particularly, the blonde. “How are you holding up?”

You look away, not bothering to answer.

The strangers made sure to separate your seats in the car. Something about avoiding the trouble of having their only means of transportation stolen by potentially dangerous refugees.

Beomgyu was seated at the back while you sat up front. The one with darker hair was in charge of driving while the blonde stood next to Beomgyu, half of his torso out on the sunroof, rifle loaded in his hand and ready to shoot down any infected that'd get in the way. He'd come down to check on you two from time to time. The first time around, he tried chatting it up with Beomgyu which didn't really yield much with the latter refusing to talk.

You ponder whether or not you should do the same now that he had his focus on you but you're quick to dismiss the thought. These people were helping you out in a time of need. If they had been planning something awful from the beginning, you would've seen some signs. Then again, you figure you weren't as observant as you thought you were with today's events.

But showing gratitude was the least you could do.

“Thank you.” You say, speaking for the first time since you drove off. You hadn't expected for your voice to sound quieter than it should.

“Hm? Come again?” The blonde leans in closer. Too close for your liking, but you say it again anyway.

“Thank you for saving us.”

“Oh, uh..” Unexpected to you, the blonde seemed taken aback by your words. He leans back onto his seat, scratching the back of his head as he gazes outside the window. “Don't mention it.”

Silence. It wasn't the same silence they had going for during the first half of the trip, and it wasn't a comfortable silence either. It was the kind of silence you'd get at formal dinner parties with colleagues you've not once spoken to. In other words, the atmosphere was awkward as hell. Social awkwardness was not something you'd expect to experience in the middle of an apocalypse but here you were.

You reach into your pockets, hoping to find something to defuse the situation when your hand brushes up against the crumpled flyer.

That's right. I have to tell them soon.

You clear your thoughts. You had already decided on telling them about the safe zone. The more survivors the better. It was about damn time you got out of this hellish landscape anyway. But first things first.

“I'm Y/N. And he's Beomgyu.” You say, looking up at the blonde. He immediately turns back as if he'd been waiting for you to continue. “The ones who passed on earlier were Suhyeon and Sungjae. I'd appreciate it if you remembered their names as well.”

On the corner of your eye, you could spot Beomgyu flinching after dropping your friends' names.

“I suppose it's time for introductions anyway.” The blonde grins, straightening his posture. “I'm Taehyun, and the guy driving is my pal, Yeonjun. We've been together even before the fall began. Converted the old abandoned inn deep in the woods into a temporary base a while back. You've heard of Palace Noir, right?”

“Three coming in about sixty feet away.” Yeonjun, alerts Taehyun, slowing the jeep down.

The latter springs back up out the sunroof with overwhelming focus, locking his rifle on the targets and firing three shots, each bullet bringing them down one by one. You and Beomgyu watch in awe as the jeep runs over the fallen bodies. Clean shots. Both your groups had spent three months in the apocalypse but time spent didn't make up for experience. While you focused on laying low, Taehyun's group must've been more involved in taking down the infected. Sure seemed that way.

“Anyways—” Taehyun immediately shifts back to a friendlier demeanor after sitting down. “We're a pretty small group. Four people in total. We had the other two stay behind and watch over the base while we did our run at the mall.”

“We saw you and your other friend while we were at the grocery. We didn't want any trouble with other survivors at that time, so we scared you off.” Yeonjun adds, eyes not leaving the road.

You remember the noise that came from the front entrance of the grocery at that time. You wouldn't have known any better if he hadn't revealed it himself.

“Yeonjun and I tried our best to avoid you but after we heard the alarm, we figured something bad must've happened.” Taehyun continues. “And when we heard your friend's cry.. We just couldn't stay still.”

Yeonjun makes a sharp turn to the left, startling everyone on board. One look outside the window and you could make out the silhouettes of a few infected. You weren't sure how many there were with the sun long gone. Shooting them down would've been best but the darkness posed a lot of risks.

“I'm guessing you're the leader.” Yeonjun's voice steals your attention. “Made quite a shitty decision there, huh? Honestly, what? Were you trying to get yourself killed?”

“No, I—”

You're cut off as the jeep enters a dirt road heading into the dense forest. Taehyun reaches up to the sunroof, closing it shut. Who knows what could be lurking above the trees but that apparently didn't matter much to the other two in the vehicle.

“If you weren't trying to kill yourselves then what were you doing?” Yeonjun presses further, and you feel a tightness in your throat.

Beomgyu waivers, taking his eyes off of Yeonjun and turning to you. He'd been wondering all this time if he had been right. He had a hunch before storming off to the basement but had never gotten a confirmation.

“I'm..” You hesitate, lowering your head. “I'm sorry. I can't bring myself to talk about what happened back in the basement for now.”

The atmosphere was thick enough to have a knife slice through it, prompting you to choose your next few words carefully.

“However, I can tell you why I had to go down there.” You take out the bloodied flyer from your pocket, unraveling it for everyone to see.

Taehyun snatches the flyer from your grip, hands shaking as he scanned through the content. “A safe zone?”

“Aha! Freakin' called it!”

Soobin nudges Kai's side teasingly as they watch the jeep pull up in front of them. They'd been waiting for the other half of their group to return from their supply run, and with nothing to do and a lot of hours to waste, the two decided to have a bet.

Will the ever so kindhearted leader, Taehyun, take in new survivors to add into the group? Kai bets no for two reasons: (1) The likelihood of finding survivors without an already established group was low, and (2) Yeonjun would definitely convince him otherwise.

And Soobin? Soobin places his bet on yes simply because he knew Taehyun would always find a way to surprise them. And how Soobin loves what he's seeing.

“Eyy, are these two new recruits I see?” Soobin coos as he and Kai stepped closer to the vehicle. Yeonjun is the first one off, heading straight into the building and paying no mind to the two who came to greet them. His attitude told them it was a hard yes.

“Oh, great timing!“ Taehyun is the next to hop off, followed by two fresh looking faces. Soobin just needed to hear one thing. “These— Wait, what happened to your hair?” Taehyun pauses, staring at Soobin's bright blue hair. The latter shrugs and Taehyun decides he didn't wanna know. “Anyways, Soobin, Kai, meet Beomgyu and Y/N. They'll be staying with us from now on.”

“WHOO! YEAH! ALRIGHT HERE WE GO.” Soobin quickly turns to Kai, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him violently. “I WIN, SUCKA—”

Kai tries to find his balance as the world starts spinning around him. “Y-You better start p-praying, old man.”

“Ahem.”

The two immediately stop fooling around after hearing Taehyun's ever-so-familiar cough. One would be a fool not to interpret it as a serious warning.

“As I was saying,” Taehyun continues, face gleaming. “Can you show them to the extra room? We'll also be having a meeting afterwards so don't take too long. I'll unload the supplies from the back. Meet you at the conference room.”

And with that, the two recruits were left in their hands.

The Inn was larger than you'd expected. It boasted three whole floors, and the entire area was roughly the size of a school. Despite its grimy exterior, the inside of the building was much cleaner. You shudder after being reminded of your previous base in the sewers. Perhaps you could learn a thing or two here about mid-apocalyptic hygiene.

The entire first floor had been closed off, and the windows had been boarded down except for a select few upstairs. There wasn't any use staying in the first floor as it only exposed you to higher risks of danger. And no one wanted that.

The stairs between the first and second floor were divided by a makeshift gate made out of scrap metal bars and wooden planks. If it's sturdy enough to keep regular humans away then it's enough to keep the infected at bay, not that it'd ever serve its purpose. The infected were particularly weak at climbing, and Taehyun's group had managed to cover the vicinity outside with deep holes as a defense. You take a moment to admire their efforts at survival.

The second floor was left open since it was the only floor that hud running water. The bathrooms in the other floors had none for reasons beyond what they knew apparently. In Kai's words, “We're just college students after all.”

“Would've been nice if we actually had parental supervision, huh?” You kid, albeit poorly received. You figure the topic of families was still a touchy subject.

And lastly, the third floor was used as the main base of operations. The floor was divided into half. The first half sported three large bedrooms, two of which have been occupied by the others in pairs. A large conference room covered the other half, and Beomgyu takes note of the pile of rations and supplies neatly organized on the side. Both of you were surprised at how openly they displayed their inventory.

“So, that's basically everything.” Soobin says, ending the tour. You still can't wrap your mind around his freshly dyed blue locks. “You can take the last room over there. Our room is in the middle, and Yeonjun and Taehyun share the first room. If you need anything, just knock.”

His warm smile drew you in. It's been long since you've seen someone smile like that. Sincere, carefree. You could only wish that a day would come when you and Beomgyu could once again experience such a smile for yourselves.

“Oh, before you go in.” Kai adds, his arm blocking the path to your room. “I haven't cleaned there in a while so it might be a bit— well, a lot dustier than usual. Don't tell the others though! Oh, and don't forget to meet up with us at the conference room after you settle in. Bye!”

You turn to Beomgyu and smile as the other runs off. “They seem nice.”

Beomgyu jokingly rolls his eyes. You settle in your room right after with a lighter mood.

Yeonjun didn't like this one bit.

Having to look after three people was enough but adding two more was beyond the guy's limit.

He reclines further into his seat in the conference room, shooting Taehyun the stink eye as everyone slowly gathered into the room. Yeonjun often found himself cursing at his friend's tendencies. He's known Taehyun for years, and is confident that taking the others in wasn't something he'd decided upon on a whim. But no matter what plans the other had in mind, Yeonjun had to face the fact that Taehyun was piling up more responsibilities in their hands.

Although he didn't really mind adding in Soobin. And Kai's recruitment was inevitable given his situation. But these two? They still had each other to rely on. They would've continued to survive on their own without anyone else's help. Probably. Yeonjun wasn't sure but it shouldn't really be his problem. But he supposes not everything was for naught. After all, Taehyun knew what he was doing.

Everyone settles down in their seats. You and Beomgyu sat on one side of the worn out rectangular table while Soobin and Kai sat on the other. Yeonjun and Taehyun were seated on the edges, opposite each other. Both share a look across the room, and Taehyun proceeds to ask you for the flyer.

“Most of us have already been briefed on tonight's discovery but considering that the rest of our group hasn't been informed yet, I will be announcing it again during today's meeting.” Taehyun starts, unfolding the flyer in front of everybody. “Y/N here has obtained a government flyer that talks about a safe zone outside the mainland. They've closed down an uninhabited island across the coast to house what's left of the survivors, and they're rescuing anyone who can contact the phone numbers provided here at the bottom.”

Soobin and Kai were stunned. Understandably so. Escaping this nightmare seemed like a lost cause until now.

“Now all we have to do is find a way to get in contact with them.”

“I still have my cellphone.” You tell them, holding up your mangled up phone for everyone to see. “I know it looks a little beat up but last time I used it, it was still functional. All I need is a way to charge it.”

Kai springs up from his seat, eyes wide as he points up the roof. “I-I think I can help with that.”

The moon shone brightly as Kai leads everyone out on the rooftop. He explains that he found an old solar panel in the shed while cleaning a few days ago and has been fixing it up, but he's not entirely sure if it actually works. There wasn't exactly anything he could use to test it on.

You still had your charger with you as well, and with this, you start to feel more hopeful. Who would've thought that things would go this smoothly.

“Great work there, Kai. We can test it out tomorrow morning.” Taehyun suggests and everyone agrees. Kai seemed particularly happy with the former's praise.

Taehyun wraps up the meeting on the rooftop, running down the new rules with the addition of new members. Everyone had to patrol the building each night in rotational pairs, and everything whether there are any changes or not must be reported in the meetings right after. Other than that, Taehyun laid down the usual bit about the rations and supplies, and other notes on basic survival.

“I'm gonna head back first.” You tell Beomgyu after Taehyun ends the meeting.

Beomgyu nods curtly. “See you back in the room.”

You wave goodbye and head off while he continued to chat with Kai and Soobin. On the corridor to your room, you bump into Yeonjun who was on his way back up the rooftop. Hoping to avoid his sour gaze, you nonchalantly walk faster.

“You left something back in the jeep."

You halt, turning to Yeonjun. “Huh?”

Yeonjun doesn't look back at you as he continues. “Taehyun told me there was a notebook left behind in the jeep. Didn't bring it back with him though since there was a lot he had to carry. It's yours, right? If it's something important, hurry up and get it. I'll be closing the gates in a few.”

Your journal. It's something you've kept close while facing all sorts of hardships and endeavors in the apocalypse. It's part of what's kept you sane throughout all of this.

“I'll be quick.“ You thank him, switching your flashlight on and bolting your way downstairs. You curse yourself for leaving something so important behind.

As promised, you were in and out the jeep fast, grabbing the notebook on the floor without a moment to spare. Something tells you that Yeonjun might be the type to purposely wait for people to finish, and would probably not like it if you took your time wandering around.

A crashing noise echoes throughout the first floor corridor.

You freeze in your steps. Everything was dark except for the areas illuminated by your flashlight. Your eyes dart around the room, looking for anything that could be used as a weapon. Luckily, there were quite a few wooden planks near your reach. All you had to do was grab them.

Two minutes. You wait and listen for two minutes, shining your flashlight on both sides of the corridor to spot any signs of infected nearby. No additional noises, no trails of blood or movement. Nothing.

You consider the fact that this was an old building. There were pests at every corner, and hearing strange bumps in the night was nothing new. A rodent could've knocked down a pile of old garbage for all you know.

Right. There's no need to panic. This place is safer than the rest of the city. It's safer than the bowels of the sewers.

You walk back up the stairs, and as expected, Yeonjun was waiting by the gate on the second floor.

“Sorry I took so long.” You say, dismissing what just happened.

Yeonjun doesn't respond. He locks up the gate quick and you two head back upstairs in silence.

The experience fuels your paranoia and you bury the thought of overreacting. You were in the middle of an apocalypse. One wrong move and you could be done for.

Telling this to Beomgyu would only add up to your worries so you decide on talking it over with Taehyun tomorrow. If there was anyone who could help clear your mind about this, it was sure to be him.

taglist: @fairybinie @hanniesss @hwallswrld

[t0wnspersonb]

Breathe (Oikawa Tooru x Reader)

Word Count: 2,425

Summary: As the manager of Aoba Johsai, you take it upon yourself to make sure everyone is taken care of. Which is why you find yourself making sure that a certain captain isn’t pushing himself, especially after a knee injury. It’s not until an incident in the locker room that you begin to realize just how much Oikawa means to you.

Warnings: FLUFF, making out, language

~~~

I. Fucking. Love. Oikawa. Tooru. With. All. My. Heart.💕💕💕 I hope you guys like this one! I wanted to turn it into a smut but didn’t lol. Everyone is an Oikawa girl, don’t even lie! Please let me know what you think, and also let me know if you guys would be interested in some Oikawa smut👀👀 I’m currently working one on two more pieces. I want to show some Tendou love and everyone needs more Ushijima content in their life! I hope you guys are having a fantastic week and I’m so sorry for the slow updates! Stay safe and stay happy😊😊😊

~~~

“Kindaichi nice receive!” you cheered brightly, giving the middle blocker a thumbs up. 

 The first year blushed at your praise, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment, he bowed to you briefly before running off to finish the rest of his warmups.

 As the warmups progressed you continuously shouted out praises towards the players, along with words of encouragement.

 It wasn’t anything new, even as the manager at Kitagawa you did the same thing. It was your way of displaying your never-ending support towards the boys. 

 It was routine.

 It was something they were all used to, and greatly appreciated. You were like the doting older sister, or the motherly friend of the group, either way, you were always there for the team.

 You always took care of them, and it never went unnoticed.

 “Wow! That was a fantastic spike Iwa! That’s our ace!” you grinned cheekily at the spiky haired male, he smirked, throwing you a quick thumbs up before shuffling off once again.

 “Why do you never cheer for me?” a familiar voice said next to your ear, a gentle pressure being applied to your shoulder.

 You sighed softly, reaching over, and patting at his head that was now next to your gently. 

 “Maybe if you were actually on time to practice I would.” you said coyly. 

 “That’s not fair Y/n-chan, I was getting my knee looked at.” Oikawa whined, finally separating himself from you. You turned from your position on the chair, staring at him with calculating eyes.

 “Well maybe if you actually rested and stopped hurting yourself you wouldn’t have to go get your knee looked. Again.” You frowned.

 Oikawa’s eyes flickered over your face before gently resting his pointer finger between your creased eyebrows. 

 “You worry too much. If you keep making that expression, you’ll get wrinkles.” He teased, but his expression was incredibly soft. “You do enough already, you don’t need to be worrying about my knee too. It’s fine.”

 “But I do worry Tooru! You’re the captain, your team needs you in top shape. You’re also incredibly important to me, of course I’ll worry.” You exclaimed.

 He blinked at you for a moment, your words sinking in. Oikawa couldn’t help but wonder if that was a confession, he was important to you? Did that mean you returned his feelings?

 Oikawa was hopelessly in love with you, since middle school. But you either ignored his feelings completely, or you were too dense to even notice them.

 He hoped it was the latter.

 While you were incredibly smart and caring, there were moments that you were just so incredibly oblivious. It was endearing though, he always found it incredibly cute.

 You were just incredibly cute.

 “Besides, your fans would cry if they knew you were hurting yourself.” you finished, and nodded your head towards the balcony, gesturing to the group of girls that were staring at Oikawa blatantly.

 Yeah, you were definitely oblivious.

 Oikawa mentally sighed to himself as he mustered up the strength to smile at the group of girls, he waved at them.

 You could hear them squeal in delight, calling out his name easily and waving back. This however, caught the attention of the entire team.

 “Crappykawa! You got some nerve coming in late and being so relaxed!” Iwaizumi started screaming at him, annoyance clear on his face.

 “Sorry Iwa-chan.” Oikawa laughed, sticking out his tongue as he scratched the back of his head sheepishly. 

 “You seriously piss me off!” Iwaizumi growled, stalking over to the captain.

 You stood up immediately, pushing yourself between the two third years, your delicate hands easily pressing against Iwaizumi’s chest. 

 “I already scolded him Iwa, we need to get started on serving before Coach comes back from his call.” you said easily, gazing up at the angry male. His eyes flickered down to you and he sighed in irritation before stepping back, his hand rested on top of your hands, giving them a gentle squeeze before pulling them away from his body.

 “You got lucky this time, if you slack off during practice, I’m throwing a ball at your head.” he scowled before jogging off towards the court.

 A soft frown coated Oikawa’s face as he replayed the scene in his head. Did you like Iwaizumi? Did Iwaizumi like you?

 That couldn’t be right… right? Iwaizumi knew how much Oikawa liked you… so then why - 

 “Tooru?” you cocked your head to the side. “Is everything okay?”

 “Just fine!” He said grinning at you, “I’ll be expecting a cheer too, okay Y/n-chan?” he said before running towards the court to join the others.

 You frowned, that smile was entirely fake, you just didn’t understand why he gave you one, usually all the smiles that Oikawa gave you were genuine. 

 You shook your head from the thought before turning your attention back to the boys and your notes.

 The practice continued without a hitch, your cheers and encouragement loud and proud as always.

 In the middle of practice, you stepped out to refill the water bottles, and that’s when Oikawa turned towards Iwaizumi accusingly.

 “Are you trying to take Y/n-chan away from me!?” he asked suspiciously, pointing at him.

 A ticked off look immediately began to overtake the ace’s face. “Huh!?”

 Oikawa flinched away but then hardened his stare. “I mean it Iwa-chan! You know how much I like her! Did you fall for her too!?”

 The rest of the team sighed at their captain’s antics, everyone on the team knew of Oikawa’s feelings for you, everyone but you it seemed.

 “Yes Shittykawa, I fell for Y/n too.” Iwaizumi said sarcastically, causing Oikawa to gasp dramatically at the statement.

 “Well if Iwaizumi fell for her, then I did too.” Hanamaki mused jokingly. 

 “Then I guess I did too.” Matsukawa laughed. 

 “Oi second and first years you can tell him too. Don’t hold back.” Iwaizumi called out.

 “Y/n-senpai is really pretty.” Yahaba thought out loud.

 Kindaichi nodded. “Yeah, she’s really nice too.” he flushed.

 “Stop it!” Oikawa grumbled. He knew that everyone was teasing him, but… just the thought of you capturing another male’s attention, well, he didn’t like that at all.

 “Then sack up already and confess to her before it’s too late.” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. “She likes you too… I’m sure.”

 “It’s either she does, or she doesn’t Iwa-chan!” Oikawa snapped.

 Before anyone else could say anything, you had returned with the drinks, you looked over at them in confusion, wondering why they had stopped practicing.

 “Did you guys need a break? Should I have told Coach not to use the new training regime we came up with? I know it’s a bit more taxing than usual, I just thought that you guys have been doing so well in your matches that you needed something a bit more challenging…” you trailed off frowning.

 Why is she so darn cute? Oikawa thought, looking at your worried face. 

 “The training regime is fine Y/n-chan. You worry too much.” Oikawa said simply, before calling attention back to practice.

 The rest of the practice ended all too soon, and you found yourself helping the others clean up the gym before Mizoguchi-sensei pulled you away briefly to make sure the plans for the upcoming practice match were solid.

 By the time you had wrapped up with him the gym was cleaned out and empty, said for a lone jacket that laid on the floor.

 You sighed softly to yourself as you noticed that it was Kyotani’s number. Sometimes it really did feel like you were the mom of the team.

 You packed up your stuff and made your way towards the boy’s locker room to drop off the jacket, you were under the impression that everyone had gone home for the night. It didn’t even register in your mind that you didn’t have to use the key that you had to get into the room.

 But the image before you had your heart stopping in your chest, your bag and Kyotani’s jacket slipping from your grasp and onto the floor.

 Oikawa was gripping at his injured knee pain, soft tears spilling over his cheeks, his teeth gritted together tightly to keep from crying out.

 “T-Tooru! Hold on!” you exclaimed and ran out the door, running to the nurse’s office to grab a bag of ice before running back to the hurt third year.

 You could feel your heart hammering in your chest as rushed up the stairs towards the locker room. 

 You should’ve made him sit out, you should’ve realized that he was probably in pain the entire time and decided to fight through it, for the sake of the team.

 You should’ve known.

 You busted through the door once again, rushing towards the sitting figure on the ground, the door loudly swung shut behind you.

 “I’m here Tooru, hold on.” you murmured softly, carefully crouching down close to Oikawa. You gently pushed his hands away, taking notice of the redness and swelling, before you carefully placed the bag of ice onto his skin.

 A soft whimper tore through his lips at the throbbing pain, his hands shooting out to grab at your jacket, pulling you closer between his legs until he was able to rest his head against your shoulder.

 You had seen Oikawa in so many different ways, except this one. For the most part, he was an open book about his feelings, but for some reason he never let you see the physical pain he would be in, this was a first for you. 

 Despite the soft blush that covered your face at the proximity, your instincts to take care of him overshadowed that.

 But… did Oikawa always smell this good to you? You had never been quite this close to him.

 You could hear his stunted breathing as he tried to bite down the pain, his sobs being choked down.

 “Breathe, Tooru.” You whispered softly, your hand that wasn’t holding the ice pack reached up and rested softly against the back of his head, your fingers carefully playing with the strands of hair at the nape of his neck.

 He sucked in a deep breath, a sob escaping his lips as he began taking in lungful’s of air.

 “That’s right, good. Keep breathing, I’ve got you. Tooru, breathe for me.” You murmured soothingly.

 You weren’t sure how long you were in this position for, or long it took for his breathing to get back to normal, but eventfully it did.

 “Y/n-chan.” Oikawa said after a couple of moments of silence, but before you could respond you felt cool fingers slipping behind your neck, and then something soft and slightly wet pressed against your mouth.

 Oh.

 Oh. 

 He was kissing you.

 Oikawa was kissing you.

 A surprised sound escaped your mouth, the hand that was holding the ice pack to his knee was now pressed against his chest.

 You thought that you were moving to push him away, but somehow you pulled him closer. Your fingers gripped tightly at his shirt, and you found yourself kissing back immediately.

 This was… this was good. This was really good. You would have never thought, never even imagined that this was a possibility.

 Of course, you knew how charming, how attractive Oikawa was, but you never knew how good it felt to kiss him.

 He nipped softly at your bottom lip, your lips parted almost immediately, and his tongue invaded your mouth completely, exploring every inch of it before tangling his tongue against yours.

 A soft whimper escaped your lips and his grip on you tightened, the hand around your neck slid down softly, gently grazing over your breasts before trailing down your stomach to the hem of your shirt. Oikawa’s slender fingers carefully slithered inside, his tips carefully touching the soft skin at your stomach, and then you felt your world beginning to shift.

 Oikawa was carefully leaning you back into the floor before your eyes flew open. 

 “Tooru wait!” you panted; your hand that was resting on his strong chest began to push him away from you.

 He jerked back slightly, his face flushed, and his lips swollen as he tried to focus his lust filled gaze on your panicked expression.

 Shit. 

 Did he go too far? He couldn’t help himself, not after the way you took care of him, the way you comforted him.

 Damn it.

 He should’ve waited before kissing you, he should’ve told you that he’s liked you since middle school before doing that, he should’ve -

 “Tooru your knee! You need to be more careful you were about to put pressure on it!” you exclaimed, looking at his injury in worry before grabbing the ice pack and placing it back on.

 Oikawa blinked at you.

 You… shoved him away because you worried about his knee?

 Soft laughter began escaping his lips, his hand running through his mused hair carefully. He’s never felt more relief in his entire life.

 “Why are you laughing Tooru? This is serious, why didn’t you sit practice out?” you frowned.

 His gaze turned to your face, before slim fingers grabbed your chin gently. 

 “I’m in love with you, Y/n-chan. I wanted to tell you that before I kissed you… but I couldn’t help myself.” he said seriously.

 This time you blinked at him.

 “I love you too Tooru. You can kiss me all you want but please be more careful. I don’t like seeing you hurt.” You frowned, grabbing his hand from your chin and pressing it to the side of your face, gently nuzzling into his palm.

 His eyes widened at your statement. “Y-You love me too?”

 “Of course, I do.” you sighed, “who wouldn’t?”

 A soft blush coated his cheeks as he looked away from you in embarrassment, not only at your confession but also your statement.

 “Can you stand?” you asked gently.

 He nodded, and both of you guys carefully made your way onto your feet. His arm slung over your shoulder pulling you into his side easily.

 “Tooru?” you asked looking up at the tall male.

 “Will you… go out with me then?” he asked, looking anywhere but at your face.

 A soft smile coated your lips, “Of course, I will.”

 He glanced down at you, the red in his face darkening. “Then… tomorrow… let’s go on a date. Okay?”

 “If your knee is better.” You compromised. 

 Suddenly a wide grin overcame his face. “Ha ha. I win Iwa-chan!” 

 You cocked your head to the side in confusion but decided not to say anything about it. 

 You’d ask Iwaizumi tomorrow. 

[amor-immortalem]

Relationship Drama at the Bunnyshow part 2

Part 1 is here.

This was originally supposed to be a comic but as I was working on the second part of the comic, my computer automatically updated itself and I lost the entire file because unlike every other sensible artist I don’t save regularly. Also I intended to finish it all up with this but I’m closing in at nearly 4k words so I think I’m gonna stop.

“Lucifer, can I speak with you really quick?” Arella asks as she comes to stand beside the black-haired demon.

“I don’t know, can you?” is the man’s quick reply.

“You know what I mean,” She snaps. After the interaction she’d just had with Mammon, Arella isn’t in the mood for this snarky little comment from the Avatar of Pride. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m leaving. I don’t feel good and I just want to go home and crawl in bed.”

“Really?” He shoots her a side eye, an eyebrow cocked at her sudden announcement. “Well, that’s surprising. Usually, you’d attempt to just power through it. I suppose we don’t exactly need you as we’ve done enough practicing with the others that they should be fine for the night. Go home and rest then. If trouble arises, I’ll handle it.”

“Thank you,” The human sighs as she makes her way towards the entrance doors.

As she goes, the black-to-red-gradient-eyed demon watches her carefully, this sudden “illness” seemingly coming out of nowhere makes the Avatar of Pride wonder if maybe one of his brothers had something to do with this.

***************************************

It’s only been a half-hour, Mammon thinks to himself as he searches about the building for Arella, Ain’t no way in hell a wardrobe change takes her a half-hour... It doesn’t take him long to happen among Lucifer and Satan. Maybe they know where she’s at.

“Hey, do either of you know where Arella went off to? I’m lookin’ for her.” The white-haired demon calls as he joins the pair.

“I haven’t seen Arella since we got here,” Satan shrugs, “I’ve been off helping the others prepare for the opening.”

“She told me she wasn’t feeling well and was going home,” Lucifer answers and the look of confusion on his younger brother’s face surprises him, “I assumed you knew already seeing as you tend to follow her around like you’re her shadow.”

“Yeah, no, I didn’t. She was fine a half-hour ago when I saw her last. How long ago did she tell you that?” The Avatar of Greed’s lapis-like eyes widen in surprise.

“About a half-hour ago,” The black-haired demon seems unconcerned. “Well, it’s probably not anything too serious seeing as she didn’t appear to be in any immediate life-threatening distress so it’s best to let her rest for the time being. We’ll check on her when we get home tonight. Now, get back to work. We’re about to open for the night and we can’t spare anymore workers.”

The eldest walks off while Satan and Mammon give each other worried looks.

“There’s no way she’s not gravely ill...” Satan says quietly, “I mean if it were something that only required a little rest to fix, she would’ve just stayed and worked through it.”

“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.” Mammon shoots back just as quietly. “Will ya cover for me? I’m gonna go check on her ‘n then I’ll be back as soon as I know she ain’t about to keel over or somethin’.”

“Fine but only because it concerns Arella. And you’re going to owe me for this too- a favor I get to cash in whenever I ask it.”

“Fine, deal. So, what’s the story? Just so we’re on the same page here just in case.”

“You ran out to get me food because I’m hungry and didn’t want anything that was on the menu here and I had too much set up to finish so I couldn’t get it myself.”

“Aight, I’ll get goin’ before we get caught...”

Before Satan can say anything in reply, Mammon takes off for the exit.

***************************************

When Arella made it home, she made a beeline for her room and dropped herself down onto her bed, heaving out a heavy sigh. After a few minutes, she sat up and started to pull her hair down from the pigtails she’d tied it up into. She can’t stop thinking about what Mammon had said to her earlier. She thought she looked cute her bunny outfit but to hear that he’d thought she’d been dressed like a whore? Well, that crushed her and brought back some of the bad memories of her mother’s hateful comments and lectures.

She wondered if any of the others had thought the same but chose not to say anything out of politeness. She can feel the tears prick at the corner of her eyes.

“No! I’m not going to cry over this.” The human protests as she wipes them away, “In fact, I’m better than this- better than some demon who thinks he can speak to me in that way just because he got just a little jealous. I’m an adult, I can wear whatever I want and that doesn’t make me a whore. I should’ve just ignored him and held my ground.” Arella lets out a huff as she marches into her bathroom and starts the shower and strips off her clothes. “But that’s fine. He’ll regret it later.”

She steps into the shower and lets the hot water soothe her bad mood.

***************************************

It doesn’t take Mammon long to make his way home. He makes his way up to his room to check for his favorite human- if she wasn’t there, for sure she’d be in her own but he still wanted to check just in case. When he opens the door and brings the lights up slowly and doesn’t find her sleeping in the bed, he shuts everything off and hightails it down to her room.

Not even bothering to knock on her door, Mammon just let himself in. Even in the dark, he noticed her small frame curled up on the bed under her comforter. The demon knows this is probably a mistake, but he treads over to her anyway and kneels down, brushing some of her hair back and pressing a kiss to her cheek.

Slowly the human rouses, a glare overtaking her features once she’s more awake.

“Out,” She phrases it as a command but it doesn’t have the sternness required to make it effective, “Get out. I don’t want to see you right now.”

“Huh? Why? I just came to check on ya cuz I was worried about ya… I heard you weren’t-”

“Save it! I don’t care. If you don’t know why I’m so upset with you, then we don’t need to be having a conversation right now.”

“C’mon, baby, don’t be like that. At least tell me what I did wrong so I can make it better!”

“I’m not going to give you all the answers, Mammon!” Arella huffs as she rolls over so her back is facing him. “You need to use that brain of yours and do some critical thinking for once in your damn life.”

“Wha- Arella! That’s not fair.” The demon crawls up on the bed and leans over her, “How can you expect me to apologize for something when I don’t even know what it is that I did wrong? What, are ya upset that I started actin’ all possessive over you or something? Is that it?”

“No, that’s not it. It-“ she’s interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat.

The pair looks over and sees Lucifer standing in the doorway, an irritated look painted on his face.

“I can’t take my eyes off you for one second, can I?” The Avatar of Pride sighs, “Get back to the Fall, Mammon. We’re busy.”

“Can’t I just-“ Mammon starts,

“No. I told you to leave Arella to rest and she can’t do that if you keep bothering her like this. Now, let’s go. I’m sure your girlfriend won’t mind postponing this fight until we’ve gotten home. You’re needed at the Fall now, but once we’re closed for the night I don’t care what you do.”

“I’m not even interested in entertaining a conversation with him in the first place.” the human says abruptly before looking over at the white-haired demon. “You are not to come back here until you’ve figured out what it is you need to apologize for. You’re not to phone me, text me or even approach me until that either. That’s an order.”

“An order? Arella, what’s wrong with you? I’m never going to be able to figure it out on my own if ya don’t at least give me a hint!”

“Well, I guess our relationship is over, then. If you really can’t figure out what you did to upset me so much that I feel physically sick, then that means its not as big a deal to you as it is to me and that means you have no respect for my feelings and it’ll happen again and I have no intention of staying with someone like that. Now out.”

The demon’s jaw drops while his older brother has to suppress the urge to smirk at Mammon’s misfortune. Out of everything he was expecting to walk into in his attempt to drag the Avatar of Greed back to the Fall, a fight leading into a break up was not one of them. Lucifer didn’t think they’d be separated for long though- after all, these two idiots did happen to share a brain cell a majority of the time. Given a few days, they’d probably just forget why they were even so upset with each other in the first place and then get back together like nothing had ever happened.

“Now that that’s taken care of, “ the first-born says with a tone of finality as he grabs Mammon by the arm and escorts him out of the room, “we’re leaving before you do something you might regret or say something that is unbecoming of your status.”

And with that, the pair were gone.

***************************************

If Lucifer had put any money down on his original assumption that Arella and Mammon would be back together by the end of that initial week, he would have lost it all. Not only did they not get back together after that first week, it’s been nearly 3 months since then and the pair has still yet to reconcile (something only made worse by the fact that Arella had returned to the human world for the time being) His brother truly could be dense sometimes, couldn’t he?

Lucifer would give his brother credit for wracking his brain so hard to figure out the issue. He’d caught Mammon muttering to himself over everything that had happened between them- it’s quite interesting, the things one hears when they’re not meant to. In fact, that’s what Mammon’s doing right now. Muttering and mumbling.

“So it couldn’ta been anything I did, so maybe it was somethin’ I said. Maybe it was my tone…? No, she’s never had a problem with the tone of my voice when I get like that before so why now? Could it have been that I told her she’d been dressed like a whore? Was that it? No, no, it couldn’ta been that. She ‘n Asmo tease each other like that all the time and Arella never gets mad at them so why would she get so pissy with me about it?”

It’s almost painful to watch the second-born go round-and-round like this. He was so close to having the answer and yet every time he came upon it, Mammon stumbled right passed it. It wasn’t until Asmo happened upon them that anyone decided to help the poor demon with his mental gymnastics.

“Mammon, what in the Devildom are you muttering about now?” The Avatar of Lust asks, whether it be due to their own nosiness or just plain curiosity is another story completely.

“I’m trying to figure out what the hell it is that I did to piss my girlfriend off so badly.”

“What girlfriend?” The strawberry-blonde demon teases, “because from what I understand, you’re single right now.”

“Shut up, Asmo. I’m talking about Arella. You know that,” the white-haired demon hisses, “look just cuz we’re broken up now, don’t mean that we won’t get back together once I apologize for whatever it is that I did.”

“Sure, keep thinking that,” Asmo hums. “By the way, Solomon says that Arella seems to be more content just being in a relationship with Thirteen as her partner than she was when she was with both you and Thirteen. Maybe you should just give it up.”

That shuts Mammon up real quick. She was happier with Thirteen? That couldn’t be true, could it?”

“You take that back, right now.” He growls at his younger brother, “You’re lying.”

“Mmm, no, I don’t think I am. Look, don’t shoot the messenger,” Asmo holds their hands up defensively, “I’m just relaying what I heard through Solomon so you don’t waste your time forming this big heart-felt apology expecting her to accept you back and then end up broken-hearted if she decides that you two are really over, okay? I’m just looking out for you.”

Mammon still looks skeptical, like he thinks this is some mean spirited prank his younger brother is playing on him.

“If it means anything, I could try and help you figure out where you fucked up.”

“Please do,” Lucifer calls making both of his brothers jump as Mammon had forgotten Lucifer was in the room and Asmo hadn’t even noticed him yet, “If we leave it up to Mammon, he won’t figure it out for a good two million years even though the answer is so blatantly obvious.”

“Wow, rude much?” The Avatar of Greed huffs, “C’mon, Lucifer, I ain’t that dense. At least give me some credit. And if it’s so obvious, why didn’t ya point it out to me sooner.”

“Because,” the first-born folds up his newspaper he’d been reading and sets it on his lap, “Arella was right in that we can’t just hand you the answer if you don’t know it. You’ll never be able to reflect on it and grow from it if we do.”

“By the by, if it helps,” Asmodeus starts, “I know exactly why she’s so upset with you. So let’s start from the top and I’ll stop you when you get there- honestly, when she told me, I was rather surprised there wasn’t a you-shaped hole in the floor of the Fall..”

“Fine,” Mammon sighs, “So you know that outfit she was wearing back when the bunnyshow was goin’ on? Well I wanted her to go home ‘n change outta it because it was too revealing for someone who was already in a relationship. She wouldn’t and it kinda devolved into an argument and when she asked me why I was so bothered by it this time around unlike last time, I told her it was because last time we weren’t an item. And then I got a li’l possessive and told her that because she was mine, I didn’t want anyone gawkin’ at her for running around dressed like a whore.”

“There it is,” both Asmo and Lucifer say in unison. “You hit the nail right on the head.”

“You’ve gotta be fucking kiddin’ me. Really? She’s upset that I told her the truth? So much for wanting honesty.”

“Perhaps it wasn’t so much that you were honest,” the eldest says, “but that you told her she’d been dressed like a harlot to her face. I don’t know about you, but I would be very insulted and rather upset if someone I cared for deeply who’s typically very supportive of me suddenly said what you said to her.”

“Well I mean, it’s true!” Mammon throws his arms up in exasperation, “And ya know the moment other demons woulda seen her, they’d take the outfit ta mean she was looking for a new partner and They woulda started hittin’ on her and I can’t take that. I can barely tolerate sharing her with Thirteen, I ain’t lookin’ to share her with anyone else.”

“So you don’t think Arella can tell other demons she’s not interested?” Asmo asks, an eyebrow arched, “You know, part of me should actually feel insulted that you don’t like the outfit I picked out especially for her the first time we did the bunnyshow.”

“Be insulted, Asmo, I don’t care. What I wanna know is why you and Arella can tease each other with names like that and everything is all fun and games but the minute I point it out, she gets so mad at me that she breaks up with me?”

“Did it ever cross your mind that maybe she was just looking for an opportunity to leave you in the first place and that was a believable thing to break up over?” Lucifer hums, taking the opportunity to sow a little chaos. He knows his brother knows that he’s only joking.

“You really aren’t funny, you know that, Lucifer? Arella was fine with the way our relationship was and for you to joke around that she was looking for a way out of it really pisses me off.”

“Well, if you’re so certain that she wasn’t I suggest you get a move on and give her a call. If you wait any longer she may decide that you’ve given up on your relationship with her and may move on completely.”

“Ya don’t need to tell me twice,” the Avatar of Greed huffs as he dramatically storms out and the Avatar of Lust rolls their eyes.

***************************************

Arella was sleeping- or trying to at the very least- when Mammon called. Vaguely recalling that her phone had been placed beside her on the bed when she’d fallen asleep, the human makes a patting motion, trying to locate the device and silence it. Whoever was calling could wait until the morning. With the phone found in the bedsheets she glanced at the caller ID and groaned when she saw who it was that was calling. There was no letting the phone go unanswered now- not when Mammon would redial the minute she silenced his call and continue to call until she spoke with him. He must’ve figured out what he needed to apologize for. That would be the only way he’s be able to call her right now.

“Hello?” She croaks as she clears her throat, “You have-“

“Summon me.” Just two simple words instead of a greeting in return, “If I’m gonna apologize to ya, I wanna do it the right way- face to face.”

“Come on, Mammon, you know what time it is up here for me. Can’t this wait until morning?”

“No, it’s gotta be now. Please, if you want we can wait until mornin’ to talk but I need you to summon me, right now.”

“You won’t leave alone until I do, will you?” She runs a hand through her hair when he answers in the negative. “Fine, I’ll summon you, but you’d better let me go right back to sleep.”

“It’s a deal,” the demon smiles happily while his human hangs up. The next thing he knows, he’s falling through a portal and landing back-first onto a soft bed.

“There,” his head turns at the sound of Arella’s voice, “you’ve been summoned. Now I’m going back to bed, try to behave yourself until I wake up.”

The second-born only nods as he shifts around on the bed to pt himself in a more comfortable position as he pulls out his D.D.D. To do some window shopping while he waited for the morning to come. Things aren’t calm for more than ten minutes before the bedroom doorknob starts violently twisting and the sounds of someone banging on the door can be heard accompanied by the sounds of shrieking and wailing that put ice in the demon’s veins. Just what the hell was on the other side of that door.

Suddenly the lights start to flicker on and off and Arella sits up with an irritated groan.

“Of all the bloody nights she had to do this, it just had to be tonight, didn’t it?” She growls to herself and now Mammon is even more confused than he is scared.

“What the hell is goin’ on? Is this something that happens regularly?”

“Regularly enough… get in the middle of the bed please. If she manages to break the door down, I’m going to have to put up a barrier to keep her away from me and I would prefer you not get caught in the crossfire.”

“No way in hell I’m lettin’ ya use your magic when you this tired, c’mere,” Mammon hooks an arm around Arella’s waist and pulls her into his lap before shifting into his demon form and wrapping his wings around her, effectively shielding her from any possible harm. “It may not look like it but the membrane on my wings is tough enough to withstand getting scratched and clawed at- mostly cuz a majority of it is scar tissue now. Unless whatever’s tryin’ to come through that door has an enchanted weapon, you’re gonna be just fine like this.”

Arella only looks up at him- for a minute, seeing him all protective of her like this, she’d forgotten just why she was upset with him to begin with. This always happens: he shifts into his demon form and suddenly her brain is mush at the thought that this big, strong demon has his arms and wings wrapped around her and nothing can hurt her like this- that she’s safe. It’s rather embarrassing actually.

She doesn’t notice when suddenly the doorknob stops rattling or that the door has stilled and is no longer in danger of being broken off its hinges, all she sees is her guardian demon. And it’s when he turns to her asking about some thing or another that she cups his face and brings him down for a kiss. It doesn’t take her long to start pushing for more. She wants to keep him distracted. After all, he’d ask about what was just on the other side of the door and Arella would give anything not to talk about it- would do anything to avoid telling him about the tumultuous home life she had as a child. Those are secrets she’d rather take to the grave.

It isn’t until she has him pressed back on the bed that Mammon thinks to stop her. With a tap to her shoulder, he breaks them apart. “Not right now, Babe. There’s something we gotta talk about first.”

“No, please, don’t ask about it,” her voice is quiet as she lays her head against his shoulder. “I can’t talk about her…”

“Hm? I wasn’t talkin’ about the whole thing with the door…. But the apology… there’s an order to making up and you’re tryin’ to skip a whole step there.”

“I… sorry… Guess I’m just overly tired.” She moves off of him so she’s laying back on the bed.

“Then go to sleep, I ain’t goin’ nowhere. I’ll still be here in the mornin’.”

And with that, the human starts to drift off, her emerald-like eyes slowly slipping closed.

***************************************

Next

[smol-and-grumpy]

Legally Yours - Ch. 26

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Dean Winchester tops the list of hottest entrepreneurs 2020 and yet, there’s still something he wants but can’t have because, in order to get that, he would have to settle down and get married. She agrees too quickly because she wants to secure a more comfortable life for her and her daughter. Will she be able to help Dean get what he wants without losing herself in the fake story they spin up to deceive his father and the world?

Chapter Warnings: We’re still at the angst, because someone’s obviously still an idiot. We also might detect some jealousy. 

WC: 4214

Beta’d by: @deanwanddamons​​​​​​​​ <3

This series is complete on Patreon

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Five days later, she’s sitting in her kitchen, job application website open on her laptop while Bobby’s at work and Olivia’s at school.

The first night was hard on the girl. Olivia crawled into bed with her, spinning up tales that she missed her toys they left at Dean’s but she is sure that a part of the little girl’s heart is aching for Dean because hers is too. 

Y/N hasn’t heard from him and it took everything in her not to shoot him a message and ask him how he’s doing. She’s fairly certain that if she would choose to go down that road, she’ll get weak and that’s against the new rule that she’s set up for herself in order to protect herself and her family.

Donna sent her a text when she arrived back at her old apartment, asking how her honeymoon was going and when Y/N told her that she’s back, Donna offered to come over. They sat around the tiny kitchen table with boxed wine between them, drinking and talking. Yeah, boxed wine. Over are the days of cheap bottles. Well, she reckons she could afford it with the money from the marriage contract but she’d rather not as she has a future to think about. 

She didn’t sulk, didn’t allow herself to. She needed to be strong for Olivia and keep it all together. Her friend parted with a promise to help her find a man who she deserved. She only smiled. Couldn’t find it in her heart to say that she’s not looking for a man, that she thinks that Dean’s ruined her for all other men, that she’s most likely destined to be alone forever. At least she has Liv, and honestly, that’s all that counts. God, she’s so glad to have that little girl. She would have been broken beyond repair if it wasn't for Liv. 

While she touches up her CV at the kitchen table where she poured her heart out to Donna the evening before, her phone starts to buzz next to her. Her heart jumps. She hates the buzz of her phone because she’ll always think that it could be Dean and when it’s not him, she will always feel so deflated. Somehow, she’s okay with the situation but a little part of her still hopes that he would change his mind and come back to her. 

This time it’s no different when she looks at her phone. If anything, it’s even worse. Sam’s calling. 

She debates on not picking up but decides that she has to because he’s probably calling about the annulment. It’s really the only thing left that keeps her tied to Dean on a contractual level, and after she signs that, it’s like the marriage never existed. 

“Sam?”

“Yeah, uh, hi, Y/N,” The man can be heard on the other end. A little breath leaves him, and she can imagine that he’s smiling. Ever the friendly Sam. She can’t lie, she misses him too. 

“You’re calling about the annulment?” She gets straight to the point. There’s really no point in stretching this out unnecessarily. 

“Um, actually no. Dean’s not really talkative and he’s not going to sign it.” 

“What do you mean he��s not going to sign it?” She doesn’t understand, has a hard time wrapping her head around it. Why did Dean still want to be married to her when she walked away from him? There’s no point in pretending anymore and she has made up her mind. The only way she’s going is forward and not back. She wants to move on. 

“Don’t worry about it. He’s only been back two days, I need time to talk him through it. We should have the annulment finalized by Monday, I promise.” 

“I trust you,” She says into the receiver, because she does. If someone can talk sense into Dean, it will probably be Sam. “How is he?” 

“Do you want to hear the truth or do you want me to lie to make you feel better?” 

“Lie.” 

“He’s doing great.” 

“That’s good.” 

Sam snorts, “Well, I knew you'd feel better if you knew that he’s doing okay without you.”

“You’re right. I don’t want him to feel bad but somehow I also want him to, you understand?”

A burst of laughter rumbles on the other end, “I know,” Sam replies, “He’s a gigantic dick, Y/N. I think he knows that and he’s beating himself up for it. He’s been back at work for two days and according to Rowena, it’s hell. He doesn’t talk to anyone and if he opens his mouth, it’s to shout at people.” 

“Wow, he’s coping well.” 

The man laughs again, “Dean’s never been good at taking rejections. He’ll get over it, eventually. Someday. Maybe. Well,” Sam pauses and exhales loudly, “Tell you the truth, I don’t think he’ll get over it. I’ve never seen him like this and it scares me, hence me calling you.” 

Y/N feels sorry for him. And there she thought that she was miserable without him. Somehow it gives her a little satisfaction to know that he’s doing just as bad, if not worse. Can anyone blame her to feel like this?

“I’m not going to go back to him just so that he’ll stop being an ass to other people.” 

“That’s not what I was going to ask you about.”

“Ah, why beat around the bush, Sam. What is it?”

Sam sighs, “Okay, as you might know, Dean hasn’t told anyone that you two broke up.” 

“Why am I not surprised?” She hopes Sam can feel through the phone how hard she’s rolling her eyes right now.

“Shush,” Sam scolds  and continues before she can say sorry for interrupting him, “He has a charity gala to attend tonight, and it would be great if you would accompany him.”

The bark of laughter that leaves her mouth is hard to hold back, “You what?” 

Sam’s not laughing, “I mean it, Y/N. He’s not doing great and he has to attend. Technically you are still his wife and you have a contract, so..”

“Oh, please, don’t come at me with a contract, Sam. Dean told me that I’m allowed to walk away. He said that he doesn’t need me to get the shares. He wasn’t the one stopping me when I walked out on him, so tell me, why should I do this? Why should I pretend when I don’t have to anymore?”

“Because you still care about him,” 

Sam’s answer is a hit to her heart. She does. She cares so fucking much but also, that means that she’s not going to give in because it’s time to put herself first. She can’t hold herself together for Olivia’s sake when there’s nobody backing her up. She won’t go through this again. 

Of course Sam’s on Dean’s side. He’s friendly to her but if Sam would have to pick sides, it would always be Dean’s. 

“I’m sorry,” She says, her voice shaking a little. No, she’s not going to cry. Not again. Not anymore.

“Okay,” Sam relents too easily, “Can’t blame me for trying.” 

“No, I can’t. Dean’s lucky to have you as a friend.” She means it. 

“I’ll come to see you as soon as Dean signs the papers, Y/N.”

“Thank you.”

“Take care of yourself and Olivia, okay? And tell me if you need anything.”

“I will, Sam. Thanks.”

“Goodbye, Y/N.”

She hangs up before she can say goodbye. The phone drops onto the table and she’s back to burying her face into her arms as she sobs. 

*

 For the next five weeks, Y/N  tries to avoid looking at tabloids pages, instead, concentrating on Olivia and helping to ease the little girl back into her old environment. 

Of course there have been texts from Donna telling her that there’s no news from Dean, at least not with another woman. She knows that she shouldn’t care about it, because if he wants to date again, it’s his right, but somehow, she can’t help but feel the pinpricks in her heart. It’s not something bad but something good because it keeps her hopes alive for a while. After she was reluctant to answer Donna's text about Dean in the first two weeks, her friend has decided that she doesn’t want to update Y/N anymore. Which is also fine with her. The less she’s reminded of Dean, the quicker it will be to get over him.

She snorts out a laugh at that thought. Yeah, right. 

Bobby has been weird the last two weeks too. He went out to meetings, saying it has something to do with his union but she knows that he doesn’t even have a union so she really doesn’t have any explanation for the two to three times the man went AWOL when he should be home but again, it’s nothing that should worry her. Bobby is still young enough to have his own life. She guesses that it has to do with a new lady friend maybe. Maybe Bobby’s being cautious too, maybe he doesn’t want her and Olivia to know when things aren’t steady with the two. She couldn’t blame him for thinking like that.

Tonight is the first time in over a month that she feels comfortable enough to leave the security of her own home. Perhaps Donna has something to do with it, begging her to finally go out and face the world, and Y/N can’t lie that Donna’s not right. It’s time to face it like a grown-up. She can’t be buried in her four walls forever. She eventually has to go out and socialize. She’s been going out a lot for interviews but that’s about it. No company has called her back yet, though. Thankfully, she still has more than enough money to get by. 

As soon as she arrives at The Roadhouse and Donna sees her, the woman is quick to be by her side, “I have a surprise for you!” 

“Oh no,” Y/N rolls her eyes, “I hate surprises.” 

“It’s not bad, I just thought, you know,” 

“Donna,” She warns her friend. Somehow, she doesn’t like where this discussion is going. 

“There’s this guy, I invited him. He’s nice, so be nice, okay? He’s not going to be the love of your life, I know that too but you should put yourself out there, just a drink, okay? It will broaden up your horizon, maybe get your ex-husband out of your mind for a little bit.” 

Jesus, Donna’s talking a mile a minute. She barely understands what the woman is raving on about.

“What?”

“There,” Donna pulls her close, points a finger to the booth where Garth is sitting with someone whose back is turned to her. 

“Oh, Donna, no!”

“Why, Donna yes!” The blonde exclaims cheerily before placing her hands on Y/N shoulders and pushing her towards the booth. “His name is Cubbie.”

“Cub-what?” 

“It’s a nickname, Y/N.”

“If that’s the nickname I don’t wanna know about his real name.”

“Cuthbert. Cuthbert Sinclair, if you wanna know. He’s a magician.”

“That’s great. Super.” Y/N groans and turns around towards the exit but Donna’s hand is firm around her shoulders, guiding her back to where Garth is already standing up to make room for her. 

“Hey, Cubbie! This is Y/N, the woman I talked to you about.” Donna’s all smiles and somehow, Y/N’s hand itches to hurt her friend.

“I’m Y/N,” She says then. The only way is forward now. 

Cubbie, still what a fucking weird name, stands up and his hands immediately go to her arms and pulls her closer to press a wet kiss on her cheek. 

Ew. Oh no, this won’t end well. 

Reluctantly she sits down, wonders how long she has to sit here until she can get up and leave without being too rude. 

She lets him buy her a drink and he orders fries to share between them while they talk. It’s not exactly bad but they just share small talk about the weather and where they’re from.

“So, you’re a magician?” She tries to sound like she’s interested, wanting to get into the deeper conversational territory.

“Yeah,” Cubbie reaches over and strokes her hair behind her ear and when he sits back up, he shows her the coin that he apparently pulled out of her, a bright smile dotes his face. She does her best to resist the urge to roll her eyes. 

“Good god,” She exclaims and the man laughs. 

He goes on to tell her about magic, which she again, has no interest in listening to. Jesus, the man can talk. While she debates on maybe hurting herself with a toothpick to have a fucking reason to get out, Cubbie excuses himself to go to the bathroom but before he goes, he leans down next to her, “How about we’re doing a little disappearing act, huh?”

“Oh god,” She huffs out but Cubbie doesn’t get her blatant disinterest. He just smiles at her.

“Think about it, I’ll be right back.”

Good riddance, is what she wants to say but doesn’t. Instead, she smiles a faux smile.

While he’s gone, she takes out her phone, shooting Bobby a text that she’ll probably won’t be that long when he feels someone is taking a seat in the booth opposite of her. 

“Back alread—”

The word won’t come out because it’s not Cubbie who’s sitting across from her but Dean. 

He has a cap on his head, is dressed casually in a black t-shirt underneath a blue plaid shirt. There are faint black circles under his eyes. He has shaved off his beard but from the length of the stubble, she can tell that he’s in the process of growing it out again. 

“C’mon, Y/N, seriously? That guy?” He asks, sounding offended, and honestly, it’s not what she really wants the first thing out his mouth to be after not being on speaking terms for over a month.

“It’s none of your business, Dean.” She snaps at him. 

“You’re right. It isn’t.” He agrees, “What is he? An accountant?”

“He has a name and he’s a magician.”

Dean barks out a laugh and even though it’s mean, she can’t help but smirk with him. 

“His name is Cubbie.” She adds, which earns another hearty laugh from Dean.

“Cubbie the magician?” He cocks an eyebrow.

“I don’t know if he has a stage name,” Y/N shrugs, “He asked me if I wanna do a disappearing act with him.”

“Oh, he will disappear, alright,” Dean growls angrily. 

She can’t read him. Why is he here, why is he crashing her blind date? So she asks, “Dean, what is this? Why are you here?” 

“I’m here every week to see if you’ll be here.”

“You know that there are phones, right?” 

“Would you have answered the phone if I called?” He challenges her and she holds his gaze. He’s right, she probably wouldn’t, even if she was hoping that he’d call but she doesn’t think that she would have picked it up because she doesn’t know if her heart can take what he’s going to tell her over the phone. “Yeah, I thought so. How’s Olivia?”

“She’s good. She enjoys being back at school. She’s going on a field trip in two weeks and I think I’m going to go along to chaperone.” 

Honestly, Y/N has no idea why she’s telling him that. Why she easily falls into a conversion with him about little things. But it feels easy, it feels like meeting an old friend. Someone where she can just pick up where they left off, even if they haven’t seen each other for a long time. Dean was her friend, she can’t deny that, and she guesses the reason why she feels at ease is that her heart can’t forget it either.

“I can do that, too,” Dean suggests without even thinking twice.

“Dean, she’s none of your concern, we’re fine without you.” Her words might be too harsh but he needs a reminder that not everything revolves around him. 

“Great.” He mumbles as Cubbie comes back from the bathroom. The poor guy stands there and is a little irritated by Dean’s presence. 

“You ready to leave?” Cubbie asks, straight up ignoring Dean’s presence and she has to give him that. It takes balls. Dean’s not someone who can be ignored. He’s tall and broad and yeah, awfully good looking. 

She stands up, nodding her head. Even if she has no intention of going anywhere with Cubbie, she also knows that she can’t stay here with Dean.

When she walks away, Dean holds her back by her wrist. The touch of him is almost too much to bear and she stills, has to close her eyes as she tries to breathe evenly. 

“You’re leaving with him? Seriously?” 

Opening her eyes to look at the source of the voice, she can clearly see the irritation on Dean’s face. 

Pulling her hand from his hold, she brings it close to her chest, fearing that she’d reach out if she let her heart decide over her mind, “It’s none of your business, Dean. You had your chance but you blew it. I’m trying to move on.” 

Dean stands up too and he’s close. The warmth radiates from him. Her body betrays her a little, sways a little closer to him. Cubbie is a couple of steps ahead but he stalls and looks back, waiting for her to follow him out. She wants to, she really does, it’s just so hard to move when the magnetic pull of Dean wraps itself around her. 

“Now, say it again a little more convincingly. Make me believe it.” Dean demands with a gruff voice while he crosses his arms over his chest, his palms nearly disappearing into his armpits, as if he too, has to resist reaching out to touch her again when it’s not what she wants.

How is it possible that he still can read her like a book? It’s not fucking fair. 

She narrows her eyes, staring him down. “You’re an ass, Dean.” She hisses and pushes out of the door, past Cubbie. When she’s out, she flags down a cab and gets in. Only when the driver rounds the street of the first block does she realize that she left Cubbie at the bar. Great. Now the act with her leaving the bar with some date is even less convincing to Dean. 

God, she’s a failure. 

 *

 “You know he still cares deeply about you, right?” Donna flops down on Y/N’s worn out couch with a bottle of beer in hand and Y/N walks over to join her friend with her glass of red wine. 

The incident at the bar in which Dean had held a metaphorical pissing competition against an oblivious Cubbie was four days ago. Almost a distant memory. She hasn’t heard from the magician, but also it’s not really surprising since they didn’t even exchange their numbers and Donna has not mentioned him again. At least there’s that. 

She frowns for a moment, “Cubbie? He barely knows me.”

Her friend rolls her eyes to the back and takes a pull at the bottle, “Dean, dummy!”

“Yeah, well, he has a hell of a way of showing it.” She grumbles, burying her face into her goblet and tips it back to take a big gulp. 

Donna admitted after the incident that she watched them with amusement. Poor Cubbie was standing there lost and sulked away on his own. Apparently, Dean grinned brightly, and god, just the image of him being so joyful and cocky about her misery makes her want to smack him across the face. But for that, she would have to see him again, which she won’t. Nope. Not going there. She can’t move on when he keeps popping up.

“You don’t see it, do you?” Donna tilts her head that’s resting on the back of the old faded sofa, cocking her eyebrow as she asks.

“See what?” Y/N eyebrows match her friend’s. 

“Jesus Christ, Y/N!” Donna huffs out, followed by a giggle. Okay, the woman should definitely not drink any more beer, also since tomorrow is Monday and she has to work. Y/N for her part, is still struggling with finding a job that would keep her head above water. She’s debating on taking two lesser paid jobs but then again, there would be no time left to spend with Liv and since she’s making Liv her priority, she keeps on searching. The blonde lays her hand on Y/N’s thigh, squeezes it, “He’s so fucking in love.”

With knitted eyebrows, she glares at her friend. Dean? In love? Has that been obvious? She shakes her head, “That’s not what he told me,” 

Her friend sits up straight and turns to her before taking a big swig of her beer and slams it onto the coffee table. Y/N gets irritated, shushes her friend with a nudge of her elbow. Liv is sleeping next door, and Donna usually knows that she has to be fucking quiet. 

“Oops,” Donna says with a shrug, and they both freeze to listen if Liv has woken up because of the noise. When they don’t hear a sound, they both breathe out in relief. Yeah, there’s no chance Donna will get another beer from her tonight. The blonde grins at her. A grin that spells mischief, “Have you ever thought that Dean Winchester, a guy who’s never been in love might not know how it feels to be in love? Have you ever thought that he might be so fucking gone on you and tries to identify his feelings but he can’t because he doesn’t fucking knows what it is?” 

God, Donna talks a mile a minute and Y/N’s brain is having trouble catching on and processing. 

Her friend pauses to wriggle her eyebrows at her but otherwise, Donna doesn’t say anything because she waits until it settles. 

Memories of the last day on the beach flashed in her mind. She recalls him asking her how she knows when you love someone and her answer was you just know. 

Could it be that he was struggling then already? He probably was but she was too deep in her own mind that she didn’t really notice.

“No,” She answers.

“No, what?” Donna asks.

“No, I have never thought that he doesn’t know how it feels to be in love. But I mean, he’s loved his mother, right? He loves Sam to a certain extent. He’s a grown ass man. He should know how he fucking feels.”

“My god, your skull is thicker than I thought.” Donna rolls her eyes dramatically. “Loving a parent is not the same as loving a partner, duh! And with Sam. There’s the bro thing, I guess? They love each other but it’s just all caveman-esque grunting and a lot of back-slapping involved. It’s how I love you,”

“You love me while you grunt and slap my back?” 

“Shut up!” Donna laughs, “Anyway, where was I...oh! Yes. Listen, Y/N, maybe you’ve been too harsh on him. I mean, yeah, of course, you have Liv to care about but don’t tell me that Liv was heartbroken when you brought her back to this place.”

She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth in thought. When she snaps out of it, she tips her wine glass back and empties it in one go.

Her friend watches her, pauses to let the things she said sink in. God, she doesn’t know why Donna’s only talking about Dean now. It’s been what? Almost two months. Where was Donna when she needed that kinda talk at the beginning when she left Dean? Donna was always here, her mind says, you just didn’t want to burden anyone and you thought that you could manage everything on your own. 

“Fact is, Y/N. I’ve never seen him like this. He barely goes out, even if he’s invited to events. The gossip sites avoid him because he became a grump while picking up fights with photographers, and don’t even get me started on the last TV appearance where he only gave short, snappish answers, making the stupidly hot interviewer very uncomfortable. A couple of months ago, he would have charmed the woman and they probably would have fucked when the producer yelled cut.”

“How do you know they didn’t?” She asks, and she doesn’t even know why she asks because the thought of him hooking up and going back to being his old self does make her feel a little uncomfortable and admittedly, jealous.

“Honestly? Maybe because the interviewer told a tabloid that she refuses to interview Dean again because he’s a dick.” 

“Well, he is a dick, she’s right.” She says drily, and she’s standing behind her opinion, it’s just now that Donna has said all those things that it makes her really wonder if she’s been too harsh to Dean. Maybe he just needed more time to figure out what he was feeling. But again, it’s too late now, isn’t it?

Ch. 27

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