#what are the chances it's a future event past next week's ep...

[rainibao]

Seriously though WHAT HAPPENS TO HIS ARM

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

My Weekly Roundup CW 28

I had a little hiatus on this format, but I am back again. I missed writing about my favorite and not so favorite shows. This week was a real roller coaster! I have watched so much good stuff, but also so much meh stuff.

And yes, this will contain spoilers!

1. Be My Favorite (Ep 8)

Those two are my safe place at the moment. Kawi has understood. He understood that if he wanted to change the future so that no one suffers, he finally had to be honest with himself. It was a process that the drunken subconscious had already completed, only his sober self still struggled a bit to understand that Pisaeng is the one he likes. But we can put that behind us now. He has confessed his feelings to Pisaeng and has now given Pisaeng the chance to court him and I can't wait for that! What I found very successful realized this week was to show how solid Pisaeng is as a person. Even though his life isn't going the way he wants it to (stupid friends and a crush who probably, at this point anyway, doesn't like him in a romantic way) he is still at peace with himself. Our old friend, the little miracle fixer with a few magic tricks up his sleeve, asks him if he should give him a hand and Pisaeng simply replies that he can handle it. I don't even like to imagine what would have happened if he had accepted the help. Pisaeng has nothing to reproach himself for and doesn't regret his previous decisions. Once again, this series simply enchanted me. We all wish from time to time to undo events of the past, but don't think about what impact our decisions and actions would have on the lives of others as well. And Kawi has only thought until the next smile from Paer. But that he as a person was not even ready to shape the future according to his own wishes, he did not understand, which is why he ended up becoming an alcoholic and everyone around him is unhappy. He has had a life in his mind's eye that he thought would make him happy, which it wouldn't because he never got a clue about what would make him truly happy. Until now. And I think it's good that he's allowing himself to be loved and to love.

2. Tokyo in April is... (Ep 5)

I don't know exactly how many times this episode brought tears to my eyes. This series feels so hopeful on one hand and so melancholy on the other. I felt all the emotions along with Ren this week. There was this longing to be close to Kazuma. How he buttoned his shirt and Ren literally melted in this physical closeness. And on the other hand, still the fear of not being good enough for him. When Kazuma offer him the shirt, Ren protests briefly if it's really okay to wear this new and expensive shirt. For Kazuma, it is not a question at all, as he has loved Ren for over ten years. There's nothing but love for Ren, and Ren is worth so much more than a silly shirt. I suffered along with Ren trying to contact Kazuma after he had to go to France, and broke when the connection between them was cut off altogether. And I felt pure joy when the two pairs of shoes were in the doorway and Kazuma sent him the text message with the food and asking when Ren was coming home. I'm very curious to see how they will continue the Sanada story and how extreme they will get.

3. Stay With Me (Ep 5-8)

Whew, this series is killing me. But I love it. You can see parallels to Addicted, and in fact I'm actively trying to avoid comparisons so I don't denigrate the series itself. But we get told so much more than we did in the first adaptation. And it doesn't bother me that Su Yu and Wu Bi aren't as actively bl as Gu Hai and Bai Lou Yin. Maybe it doesn't bother me because I don't know the novel and can't compare the series with it. Anyway, they found out this week that they are stepbrothers and they despise each other again. Well, anyway, that's what they like to tell themselves, but Wu Bi has already stated quite drunkenly that he just can't hate him and doesn't want to hurt him. And Su Yu can no longer pretend that he doesn't miss him either. That's when his own subconscious snapped him out of it, when he thought Wu Bi was sitting in his seat again and a smile crept into Su Yu's face. I think it's just delightful and the acting is really good. Story-wise they do a lot of things right too and the narration feels natural and fluid. I'm absolutely thrilled with the series and it doesn't bother me in the end if we don't get any hot bed scenes. Maybe there's a kiss in it, maybe not. As far as I know, the series is not aired in China, which means they didn't suffer from censorship. The chemistry between Su Yu and Wu Bi is definitely there and great. And honestly, a jealous Wu Bi was already cute and fun to watch. And with scenes like the bicycle rid I am totally satisfied.

4. Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Ep 2)

While I found the first episode very exhausting, I liked the second one much better. It's nice to see what's going on in Minato's head. He can't show it to the outside world how much he loves Shin and as soon as he's with him a bit longer or looks into his face, he runs the risk of giving in to his emotions. Which Shin would have rather less of a problem with. It's frustrating to watch, but with a little more understanding of where Minato is coming from and how much he's suppressed his own feelings over the years, coupled with some internal homophobia, you can understand why he's always trying to control himself and is afraid to let go and live the feelings that burn inside him. The nice thing is that Shin knows who Minato is and appreciates and classifies the little things he does for him. And should Minato eventually get to the point of telling Shin how much he loves him, we'll probably see Shin rapturously slip away into another realm. But yes, with the second episode, the joy of the series has finally returned.

5. La Pluie (Ep 12 - Final)

I'll be honest, the show lost me by the tenth episode. Definitely Patts and Saengtai as a couple. And I also have to confess that I fast-forwarded half of the episode this week. Well, actually, I watched in rapture as Longfom finally told Tien in cotton-candy sweetness that he liked him, and as Tien accepted his confession and landed in his arms overjoyed I couldn't suppress a short squeal. And then came that half-hour montage of Tai looking for Patts. Yes, he had to do some searching, but instead of street impressions and watching Tai ask people if they've seen this vet, I actually would have liked a little more cosiness from Patts and Tai. I could have lived with a short time jump, I don't know, three years into the future. The end came a bit too fast, after all the torture we had to endure. And I don't even want to talk about the ending itself. What kind of shit was that? Should there be a spin-off? Nah, thanks, but I don't need it. Tien was happy for five fucking minutes. Give this boy a break! For me the series ended here:

6. Hidden Agenda (Ep 2)

It's not going to be my highly anticipated series of the week, but I at least liked the second episode a little better than the first. Joke has made it to the debate club and can now help Zo realize his hidden agenda of landing Nita and also tackle his own hidden agenda of courting Zo at the same time. I mean yeah, we know how it's going to turn out. It shouldn't be too much of a surprise at the end, the basic idea of the series is too familiar for that, but still, you can enjoy the ride to the end anyway. The only thing that might be turned off during the ride would be the radio….

7. Low Frequency (Ep 2)

Well, the story itself is interesting. It would just be so nice if the actors didn't just stop acting when they don't have a speaking part. I mean Mon on the one hand looks like he's permanently stoned and like his brain is very empty from time to time. The dialogue just doesn't feel natural, it feels very contrived, which I don't blame the actors for, the director should actually see that and explain to them how to do it better. Well, maybe he thought it was just right…As I said, I like the story and I'll keep watching, but it's amazing how natural the series still feels at 1.5x speed. Well, Thames is a ghost now, whether he's dead or not, I really didn't get Mons' explanation. All I know is that the good guardian spirit gave Mon the important advice not to fall in love with Thames while Thames is standing next to him, and there's never another word said about it, but let's not kid ourselves, Mon is already over the hill with his feelings. We also learn that Thames has been the victim of a plot and that they tried to frame him for the drunk driving accident. No alcohol was detected in the blood, but there was a smell of alcohol at the scene of the accident. Reason enough to cancel him, sure. Why the management doesn't go to the press and say that no blood alcohol was detected, I don't know…But in the end it's not that important. Because this way we can see how Mon will help Thames. How exactly we will see maybe next week.

8. Step By Step (Ep 12 - Final)

The series started out strong. That is, I liked the first episodes and Jeng was and is a feast for the eyes. But my problems with the series started very early. I couldn't really relate to the characters. Pat was whiny and naive. I couldn't understand why Jeng fell in love with him. I don't mean that in a bad way, I just can't see Pat as a potential partner. He's not nearly as mature in my eyes as he should be and as Jeng wants him to be. And Jeng, to me, is a toxic partner. One often thinks of toxic as partners who are either violent whether physically or psychologically or who cheat or manipulate, but Jeng is toxic in a different way. He doesn't leave Pat's growth to himself, but tries to push him into roles he doesn't want to take (yet). But in the process, he also forgets about normal processes and hierarchies. All of this wouldn't have even bothered me all that much if the side story had just been spun on. I still think it's underwhelming that Jaab and Jane were just erased like that. Their story started out so strong and I was really looking forward to it and then Jane breaks up with his boyfriend and Jaab is mad at him? Yeah, that's when it stopped for for me. And after that they were hardly a topic and worst of all was the finale, where they were given a short side scene and you only saw Jaab. It's absolutely unclear what their relationship is. And please, no spin-off! This can't be anything good. In the end, I'm really disappointed in the series and don't miss it. No rewatch potential for me.

9. Dinosaur Love (Ep 4)

To describe this series I would say it is the perfect series for a Sunday evening. After a busy work week and maybe a hectic weekend, it can't get any worse than this series. And for the new week, you can tell yourself it can only get better from here on out. In this fourth episode, Rak has now moved into the dorm, got a roommate who is a real asset to the series with his captivatingly quick manner, Dino has made contact with Rak's father in a creepy way (from where did he et the number?), Dino sang really, really badly, we realized once again that friends should not be trusted in this universe, and Mek is just plain dumb. It was a feast again!

Honorable Mention

His Man Season 2 (Ep 8+9)

I love watching this one so much! There is so much drama going on, but it is not in any cometition with the other series I watch during the week. It is a datin show, so I can't rate it like the full scripted shows. But I love every second of this and I love talking about it with @leonpob! Thank you so much for reaching out! 🤍

Dropped This Week

Yes, there are some shows I am not willing to waist my time with... Not that many, but lately I understood that I can't watch everything!

Be Mine Superstar

After the second episode I just couldn't go on. I don't like the mains, especially Punn. He was just annoying and a big nope for me.

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression - Ep 32 , Radio version - May 2016 - Domestic Violence, Racial discrimination in the USA, Chiba legend 'Jaguar', Ancient mummy wearing Addidas.

Kaoru starts by mentioning that its still Golden Week in Japan (a week of national holidays that occurs every year in the Spring). Joe says that Golden Week doesn't really mean much to him and Kaoru, as they are always working anyway. Kaoru says its tough for Dir's staff, because if the band are working, the staff usually have to be working too. They do sometimes try to make it so the staff can have a break during this time, but if there's work to be done, it can't be helped. Kaoru does say that the streets in Tokyo are much less jammed with cars during Golden Week, which he likes.

Kaoru's first topic of interest is the 'Black dot' campaign, designed to help victims of domestic violence. The campaign was started by British woman Danielle Tredgett, and the premise was that if a sufferer of DV drew a black dot on thier hand, people in the community might be able to recognize it, and help them. One problem with this is that if the perpetrator of the abuse knows the meaning of the black dot, it could worsen the situation if they see it. Kaoru thinks victims of bullying face a similar situation, in that even if they want to talk to someone about it, they can't. Or if they do tell someone, the bullying might worsen. Joe mentions that in the case of DV, people often feel like there is no way out. He thinks seeing this type of thing on the news makes society face up to these issues and forces us to think about them, even if we are not directly involved in such situations ourselves. Kaoru says it is often the case that women are the victims of DV at the hands of male partners, but he recently saw on the news that cases of women abusing men are also on the rise, and male victims of DV generally have no one to talk to about it, or any means of support. Its very difficult for society to recognise that men can also be victims of domestic violence. Kaoru also thinks its very difficult for a man to admit something like that to others. Its a very tough issue, and he really thinks that community support and having a place to go to for help like a community center is very important.

Kaoru's next topic of interest is about an apparel maker (GapKids) who put out an ad containing four girls: three white, and one black. In the ad (link here), one of the taller white girls is resting her elbow on the head of the black girl. The image has caused a lot of controversy. Kaoru says how this could be seen as inappropriate. Joe says that the Civil Rights Act was passed in America in 1964 as a means to end segregation, but the reality is that even now, discrimination against black people in America has not disappeared. He says that incidents involving the police shooting young black Americans without reason are frequent. The issue of racial discrimination is a very sensitive issue within American society. Joe says he recently talked with movie critic Machiyama Tomohiro via Skype, who said that even now, there are a lot of movies which can't be screened in America - in particular, movies set in the time of the Civil War, or movies grappling with the topic of racial discrimination. Such movies usually cannot be screened in regular movie theatres. He brings up the 1946 Disney movie, 'Song of the South', set during the American Reconstruction era, where a white boy becomes friends with a black man. The movie is seen to pull a veil over the system of slavery. Disney does not curreny screen the movie anywhere at all. Joe asked Machiyama whether it might not be better for these movies to be screened in order to remind American society of its past deeds, but Machiyama told him that it is a risk that movie companies are not willing to take. If such movies were screened in theaters, boycotts would likely take place. There is no merit for theaters or movie companies to do so, only risks. The online backlash would also be intense, and so movies such as this get shelved. Joe thinks this kind of protest reaction is going a bit overboard. Kaoru comments that while racial discrimination in American does not disappear, tensions continue to escalate, but overall he agrees with Joe. Joe says that although this is not a solution to this problem, there is the growing concept of 'Slow media', taking place in America and the UK. This is where news is analyzed in depth three months after it occurred, in contrast to the instant consumption of media that goes on around us all the time. He thinks this type of approach is worth watching, as it is really important to get a good balance when looking at serious issues. Kaoru also thinks this idea is interesting.

Next they welcome Tasai for the Tokyo Sports corner. Tasai says he is covering for Dobashi this time, because Dobashi is busy taking care of his kids. Kaoru and Joe think this is a much better reason than Hiranabe's. Joe says Hiranabe is probably still in Atami, still trying to  get his revenge. (See Ep 29 and 31). Hiranabe apparently sometimes sends Joe cute stamps on Line. Joe thinks he must have sent them to the wrong person. Tasai tells the others that Hiranabe is currently talking to a Thai woman via Line. He showed Tasai texts from her saying, 'Can't wait to see you' etc. Tasai also apologizes to Kaoru once again about the 'bande desinée/bando de shinee' mix-up that Kami made last week.

Tasai's first news is about the trending artist/musician 'Jaguar', who is based in Chiba. Kaoru knows about him already, but Joe does not. Tasai says that Jaguar has been inaugurated as the face of the channel 'Chiba TV' at an event he recently attended. Jaguar originally owned a clothes repair business, and a beauty salon etc in Chiba. He has become a bit of a legend because for 11 years he bought his own broadcasting slot on Chiba TV on broadcadt his own show. He did everything himself, including filming, editing, delivery etc. At the recent inauguration event, Jaguar apparently told people he had come from the planet Jaguar, but got stuck in traffic on the way. Tasai says that Jaguar is also rumored to have hung out with Hide a lot back in the day, as Hide had done a part time job at Jaguar's business, and he has also done events with Ayanokoji Sho, vocalist of the band 'Kishidan'. He's the type of guy who knows people in the rock scene.

Speaking of Hide, Joe mentions to Kaoru that, 'You love Hide more than god, right?', which causes laughter as they confirm that Joe wasn't referring to 'that' god (Kami).

Joe mentions that 'quirky' characters like Jaguar are recently getting a lot more focus in the media and online. Kaoru says its just the next step on from 'yuru kyara' (those cute mascot characters). Tasai reckons Jaguar must be in his 60s by now, as he said once that he was in a band during the oil shock in the 1970s. They encourage listeners to search for Jaguar to see what he is like.

For Tasai's next story he says that he has recieved another tip-off letter, like the one he got last time. The letter is titled 'Time traveller',  and refers to a story about a 1500 year old mummy being found wearing Addidas shoes. Of course the letter was from Kami. Joe thinks Kami should focus more on his night shift, instead of looking for wierd stuff to send to Tasai. Tasai said he was going to just dismiss this story, but he realised that while Kami was busy scolding him last week he (Kami) was wearing Addidas clothes. Tasai suggests that the mummy wearing Addidas shoes is Kami's doing. Maybe he travelled back in time to do it. Kaoru says that Kami is a god after all. He did teleport himself to the studio last time, so of course he could time travel if he wanted. Tasai says that Tokyo Sports have decided to run this story. Joe says the photo of the mummy's foot does look like it has three stripes on it, but there is every possibility that it could be photoshopped. They wonder why Kami isn't joining them for this topic, when suddenly, he appears. Kami's first comment is, 'A Kansai person has to come if they are called', admitting that he is a Kansai god. Kami tells them it was him who went back in time as a god from the future bringing shoes. He says it was a favour for his friend who works for Addidas. Kaoru asks Kami to take Dir en grey's new single far back into history. Kami says people in the past would probably find it too noisy/unpleasant, so Kaoru suggests for him to just take the CD cover instead. Kami loses his train of thought a bit, and Joe accuses him of being slow today. Kami scolds Joe, and they all apologise to him (while laughing).

Kaoru finishes by saying he will play more of the jingle campaign entries from next week after he has had chance to listen to them. He Then plugs the new single (due on July 27th 2016), and his blog, DVD, and tour. Finally he comments that this show has been pretty lively. Joe says its ok because its still Golden Week.

Songs - Dir en grey/Sustain the Untruth.

[theshipsfirstmate]

Agents of SHIELD Fic: All My Best Kept Secrets Are the Ones I Didn’t Know I Had

post-SHIELD 7x06 and also post-Agent Carter season 2. peggysous -> daisysous.

doing my best to tie up the loose ends that get Daniel from Peggy to Daisy, because I, like many others, could not have imagined shipping him with anyone else and then the last few eps of SHIELD have taken a sledgehammer to my feelings. so, just like this ship, idk where this came from, but here it is.

Title from “Something in Common” by Dawes.

All My Best Kept Secrets Are the Ones I Didn’t Know I Had (AO3 - wc: 3218)

After Peggy went back to New York, Daniel told himself to take it easy.

And he tried, he really did. He even said it in his head, sometimes, the way Jack had: “Take it easy, Danny boy.” The wise-cracking agent had never stopped teasing him, even after they had become something resembling friends. But he was gone now too, left behind in a past that didn’t feel as distant as it should.

They’d had all of one day together, he and Peg, before everything went to hell. She had kissed him -- in his office, of all places -- and he had reveled in it for a few blissful moments before sending her away with a matching grin on her face, so he could pick her up later that evening for a proper date.

He’d planned on Musso and Frank -- had been carrying around the image in his mind for longer than he’d admit to anyone -- but after he picked her up and saw that mischievous flash in her eyes, he’d called an audible, turning the car south on Western, guessing she’d be up for something a little more adventurous. He was right, she was taken with El Coyote from the moment they walked in, wide-eyed and grinning at everything from the margarita glasses to the friendly waitress who’d winked and called him “Blanquito.”

Looking back at it now, he’s almost glad he doesn’t remember too many more of the details. He doesn’t remember what they ordered or exactly how long they’d sat and talked in that booth. He just remembers the warmth of her eyes, her hand in his across the table, the way she seemed more relaxed than he’d ever known her to be. Those were the things to hold onto.

He’d dropped her off with a gentlemanly kiss at her front door -- and a less-than-gentlemanly follow-up when she’d tried to convince him to come in for coffee. His only regret now was not taking her up on the offer. Not so much for the obvious reason, just to give them a few more easy hours before it all came crashing down.

Because when Daniel returned to his own front door that night, there was a patrolman — one of the new guys, whose name he had to read off his badge in the dim porch light — sitting on the stoop, waiting for him. 

“Thompson’s gone,” the kid said. “Never made it on the plane. Signs of a struggle in his room. And a lot of blood.”

The next week was non-stop, chaos and panic and a wild goose chase that had led them everywhere but to Jack. A sinister cloud hung over the entire office, and the spectral whispers of the one name no one wanted to speak aloud echoed in the desperate silences. He and Peggy barely had a chance to look at each other, let alone talk about anything but the latest scraps of evidence, and when it was all over, well, there was no relief there, either.

He’s never gotten used to funerals, and having a hand to hold this time didn’t make it that much easier, not with the weight of failure pressing down on them both.

Thompson had fought hard, that much was clear when they’d finally found him. But it wasn’t enough. That was Daniel’s biggest fear every time he thought about the facts they had been able to gather, every time the unspeakable name echoed in the confines of his restless brain. Cut off one head, and two more take its place -- would they ever be enough to fight it? Would it ever be easier?

__________________

“You know it truly is nothing to do with you, don’t you?” Peggy had asked him, eyes turned down to the table between them, to the cups of coffee untouched and growing cold. This time, Daniel didn’t reach out for her hand. He listened to the buzz of the planes taking off at the Lockheed Air Terminal down the road, and wished it were enough to drown out the whole day entirely.

“Peg, you don’t have to do that,” he’d muttered, feeling childish. “Spare me the pity, I-”

“Daniel,” she’d interrupted, in that tone that left no room for questions. “I’ve never pitied you, and I certainly don’t intend to start now.”

He stared back, silent. That was the problem, you see, with the goodness of a heart like hers. There was no artifice, no way to crack back in a moment like this one. As miserable as it was, he was going to have to sit here and take it.

“Please,” she’d continued, softer, still barely looking at him. “I want to say it. I need you to know.”

He’d huffed out a breath through his nose and aimlessly fiddled with the tiny pitcher of milk. “OK.”

“I want to say…” she had started, stopped and gathered herself, then started again. “I want to tell you that you deserve so much more than what I can give you.”

He’d hated hearing the cliche, even as he weighed its truth. He wasn’t sure what exactly it was that he deserved, but hadn’t he known it would be this way from the start? Hadn’t a part of him always worried that there wouldn’t be room in her heart for the kind of life he wanted to share? 

“It’s not for the reason you think,” she’d insisted, before he could come up with something to say in response. “I promised myself….When Steve died, I promised myself I would keep up the fight.”

She hardly ever said his name aloud. It didn’t ruffle Daniel as much as he expected, but it did make him speak up.

“I’m in it with you, Peg. I hope at least you know that.”

She’d nodded, and then she’d finally looked up -- and he immediately wished to God she hadn’t. Because there, behind the sheen of barely-restrained tears, was their ending.

“All we can do is our best,” she told him, not for the first time. “And I think we both know this fight is going to take the best we have.” 

He nodded and swallowed against the lump in his throat he was starting to worry might be permanent. 

“But this... It’s too much for me, Daniel. I can’t lose you too.”

A bitter part of his brain pointed out that it was ironic, to say that as she walked away. But he tamped that down, and told her the only truth he could find that felt like it wouldn’t make things worse.

“I’ll miss you, Peg.”

She had reached out then, squeezed his hand fast and tight, telling him the same before swiping beneath her eyes. And then, she was gone.

Easy.

__________________

Daniel had tried, he really had. In his brief moments of free time as they watched the Hydra trail dry up hopelessly once again, he went on a handful of absolutely mediocre dates with the sunny blonde who worked the front desk at the local library and the brunette waitress who left her number on his receipt at the diner. He even let the guys at the office set him up once with a busty redhead who was so forward he spent the next week trying to suss out whether or not they’d paid her.

But there wasn’t anything there. There wasn’t anything anywhere, it seemed. With every interested woman he met -- and there were a few, he didn’t mind saying -- it was the same as it had been with Violet. Perfectly fine, perfectly nice, perfectly room temperature. In another lifetime, maybe he could have convinced himself that’s what it was supposed to feel like. But not now. 

And then one day, he walked into his office on a top-secret S.H.I.E.L.D. base, and met a girl from the future.

There was something about her, right from the beginning. She was beautiful, there was no denying that, and he saw something familiar in the mischievous glint in her eye — he’d been able to clock her CIA lie on its face, though it was just one part of a larger, much more confusing puzzle.

At first, he thought his reaction to her was just part of the chaos -- excess adrenaline at the prospect of seeing Peggy unexpectedly and the frantic and unexplainable events that followed. But then it didn’t go away.

She kept surprising him, that was familiar too. Comforting, almost, in a bizarre, backwards kind of way. She saved his life on the train — he’s always had extra respect for a woman who could throw a good punch. And he hadn’t missed the shadow that crossed her face when he mentioned all the things that Hydra had taken from him. There was even more to uncover, he was sure of it. Even finally learning her first name, Daisy, had him furrowing his brow at the dichotomy.

But there was hardly time to dwell on it. He’d expected to drive out of that futuristic aircraft and never see her, or any of her compatriots, ever again. He’d deliver his package to Stark, go home to an empty house, and wake up tomorrow to throw himself back into the work.

The next thing he knew, he was staring at the familiar eagle on the wall, and Agent Coulson was telling him he was dead. Like it was that easy.

__________________

He tried to throw himself into the fight immediately — he’s always been aware of the liability of dead weight and there wasn’t any time to stumble around and gather his bearings if he was going to be useful in the team’s mission to stop the Chronicoms.

Still, he would catch Daisy watching him, warily, like a timer on a bomb. She teased him in the clothing store, elbowing him playfully when he stopped dead at the “modern” 1970s fashions, but when he met her eyes, there was something more insistent looking back at him. It was like she was asking him a question neither of them could put into words, sizing up whether or not he was going to run, or stay, or fit, or break, or...something.

He tried his best to not to give her more to worry about. So he wouldn’t be the one to extract Hydra from S.H.I.E.L.D. in the ‘50s -- as it turned out, there were plenty of other ways to save the world. That was the core of the mission he’d signed up for from the start, and he felt more at ease the more he realized this was a team devoted to the same cause.

But he wasn’t sure what it was, exactly, that made him step up behind her in that underground bar and call her “sweetheart” -- maybe the same misguided sense of chivalry that got him a dressing down after he made Krzeminski apologize to Peggy in the briefing room back in New York. Mercifully, Daisy had gone along with his ruse, surprising him again with a palm pressed to his chest and a conspiratorial grin in his direction. 

And he hoped it was duty again, not the memory of that smile, that made him insist on accompanying her to hack into the base. After a confrontation with the scruffy kid with the dark circles under his eyes, he was more aware than ever that this team was just barely more adjusted to their circumstances than he was. But that still didn’t quite explain his growing desire to stay at Daisy’s side. 

What he was really looking for, if he’s honest, was a bit of solid ground. What he was wondering was if the feeling in his chest would turn out to be fleeting, if the quaking he’d felt when she touched him was because of her powers — or if it was something else entirely.

Because it seemed like something he never felt with Violet or the librarian or any of the rest. It seemed like it might be something he’s only felt once before. And it’s just his luck that it comes wrapped up in even more danger.

He tagged along just the same, watching her back and trying to learn on his feet about all the things she could do in addition to making the earth shake. She could break into a computer network he can’t even begin to comprehend, she could snap a crystal clear picture of him on that thin screen she said was a telephone, she could quirk an eyebrow at him and make him forget, just for a moment, that his life had descended once again into supernatural chaos.

“You look OK for a guy who just aged 20 years.” She teased him a second time as he marveled at the photo, and his stomach flipped all the way over to melancholy. But he wasn’t totally honest about why.

His heart ached at the thought of Peggy getting the news of his “death,” but the biggest goodbye of all, Daniel had realized, was to the man he used to be. However lonely and lukewarm he thought his life had been, he hadn’t been prepared to lose it so suddenly. There was possibility there, and promise to mourn, and the uncertainty about what lay ahead now had given him a rose-colored rearview mirror to look back at all he had left behind.

But when he told Daisy that this might be his last stop, she had simply turned back to her computer, assuring him their current dilemma was just a minor setback -- “Without us, it’s way worse,” she said.

She said it like she’d already accepted him as part of the team, like another thing she knew that he didn’t was that he hadn’t lost himself to the ether of time travel. She said it like he belonged.

It made the decision seem easy enough.

__________________

When the Malick kid’s goons bring her back, when he sees her limp and bloodied, slumped on the floor beside him, he has another flash to his past -- Peggy lying prone, impaled on a mean-looking length of rebar. He had learned that night how strong she really was. Not just because she had survived, but because she had let him see her at her weakest and most terrified, had let him haul her into his arms and onto his couch and into focus for his fiancee, who he knew would be able to see right through it all. 

He had blown up his entire life just for the weak, grateful smile they shared when they realized she was going to be OK. And it had been worth it.

Daisy doesn’t seem the type to let someone stroke her hair either, but Daniel tries to stop himself from drawing any more parallels right then and there. He keeps checking her pulse point like an excuse, and hopes it’s a fair trade-off that he agrees to tell her the story of his rescue. 

He doesn’t like to think about Stevens much, about the way he’s carried the potential of that pesky man's life with him every day since he woke up on that stretcher. That’s what you do when someone dies for you. You have to live for them.

That makes him think of Peggy again -- and then, unbidden, of Steve Rogers. He remembers the stories they used to tell about what Captain America was like before the serum: skinny, frail, half a dozen 4F rejections under various pseudonyms. He thinks of that kid, plucked from the life he was supposed to live and thrust onto a pedestal that must have felt completely untenable at times -- given muscle and then immediately handed the weight of the world.

And now there’s Daisy, with these powers. The kind of strength good men would covet and evil men would kill for. And like him, she’s left behind whatever life she had in order to fight her way through space and time and try to save humanity.

Peggy was a woman who ran headfirst into a storm without giving so much as a thought to an umbrella. Daisy, he’s learning, is the storm itself.

So he talks to her, and he keeps talking. He tells her things he’s never told another living person. In fairness, he thinks, he’s technically known her almost 20 years.

He tells her about survival, certain she already knows. He tells her about warfare, a different type than she’s seen, but with a common enemy. He tells her to fight -- and when she shows him the shard of glass she’s snuck back to him in a bloody palm, he knows the way his heart thuds could be just as dangerous as the psychopath in the other room.

Daniel’s always been good at waiting for his moment, and mercifully, it comes not long after Daisy slips completely into unconsciousness. He shifts away from her on the dirty floor to avoid risking further injury, and he readies himself like he had in the trenches.

When the time comes, he fights, just like he knows Stevens must have fought to get him to safety. They catch a lucky break when the earth-rattling powers prove to be too much for Malick to handle, and he carries her back to the ship, leg aching all the way, remembering the stern nurse in the field hospital who had looked down her glasses at him every time he’d complained about the throbbing.

“It’s the beat of your heart, soldier, remember that,” she had snipped as she doled out his meds. “If nothing else, it means you’re still alive.”

The team meets him at the door to help Daisy into their med bay, and when Agent Simmons mutters something that sounds an awful lot like “Not again,” something else twists inside Daniel’s chest. Shrugging off his own first aid until she’s been attended to, he takes a seat by the door to stay present but out of the way. Maybe some small part of him hopes that when she wakes, he’ll be a familiar face.

If he’s honest, he’s never thought about living to see the end of the 20th century, never even considered it. He was a S.H.I.E.L.D. director with war injuries and more than his fair share of close calls, it would have taken nothing short of a miracle. But he doesn’t think twice when the scruffy kid -- Deke, he remembers this time -- tells them they’re about to jump again. He's not sure when he changed his mind, but it’s been changed, nonetheless. 

“I’m where I need to be,” he says, as the soft beeps of Daisy’s monitor assure him that if nothing else, she’s still alive.

Easy never felt quite right, anyway.

[dreamingofscully]

Momentum, Chapter 2

Read Chapter 1 Here

Rating: Mature (ch 1), Explicit (ch 2) Length: ~12k words Classification: M/S RST, Angst, Post-Ep for En Ami and spoilers through Chimera and all things Summary: Scully’s choices lead to some unintended consequences for herself and her relationship with Mulder.

Thank you to my betas! @sarie-fairy​​ @scullyeffect​​ and @o6666666​​ for the machete betas and @suitablyaggrieved​ @starbuckthirteen​ and @unhappybrthday​​ for the feedback.

Tagging @today-in-fic and @kega-umi.

(Read on AO3)

***

SATURDAY FBI HEADQUARTERS

As Scully arrives at their office, she flicks off Mulder’s music, annoyed that she’s been working all morning while he’s been here having a good time without her. “Oh, bring me some lunch on your way over, Scully.” Sure, can I grab your dry cleaning, too?  

When he first mentions crop circles she tunes him out, irritated at his assumption that she had nothing better to do on the weekend than run off with him to chase aliens or monsters or, in this case, mathematically-brilliant farmers. She’s tired of waiting for him and can’t make herself care about a nebulous case even if it’s better than being ignored and forgotten.

A few weeks ago she would have enjoyed spending a weekend with Mulder in England, distracting him from the case for a few hours here and there. But they weren’t lovers anymore, just estranged colleagues sidestepping the one topic they needed to address. Spending an extended and awkward period of time in his company, with no chance to escape, is an unbearable idea.

After the pointless “serial killer” case this past week she’d been just as guilty of avoiding him. He even brought her breakfast one morning but she didn’t meet his eyes, afraid of what she’d see in them, or what she wouldn’t. It was easier to pretend and hope than confront the finality of his decision.

When he tells her he bought plane tickets for them, she shoots him down immediately, not seeing any other option to preserve her sanity. He looks at her like he’s hoping she’ll change her mind, then speaks again.

“I'll just cancel your ticket.” He looks like he wants to say something else, but instead he takes a single bite of his sandwich and heads for the door. “Thanks for lunch.”

“Mulder…” Scully waits for him to look back at her. “Look, we're always running. We're always chasing the next big thing. Why don't you ever just stay still?”

Why won’t he talk to me?

“I wouldn't know what I'd be missing.”

Disappointment is etched in the set of his shoulders as he disappears from view. The idea she’s let him down tugs at her heart, but is quickly replaced by the relief at not having to worry about being around him. The fact that she’s relieved to be away from him causes her mood to sink even further. When has it ever been the case that she’s been more happy away from him rather than the opposite?

*** LATER THAT DAY WASHINGTON NATIONAL HOSPITAL

“I know how difficult it must have been for you... just walking through that door but you wouldn't have come if you didn't want to and that says something, doesn't it?” - Daniel

His words affect her deeply. The touch from another that Scully’s craved for weeks catches her off-balance. His tenderness reminds her of what she misses, but is it the man or the feelings she craves?

It’s serendipitous. If she’d been given the correct patient file or she’d chosen to go to the hospital at a different time, she would never have known he was there. And the timing. She has no idea where she stands with Mulder and she’s losing patience waiting for him to decide one way or another.

Maybe he’s already chosen but I can't admit it to myself.

Daniel was a man she once loved so fiercely, at such a different time in her life. He still held strong feelings for her, spoke of her memory like it was a treasured thing. Even though he disapproved of the choices she made long ago, he remembers her fondly. It’s exhilarating to be regarded with affection after being starved of it for so long.

Was this a sign I should move on?

She remembers the advice Missy gave her when she decided to leave medicine and pursue her career in the FBI. Her almost-affair with Daniel was something she was reluctant to speak about to anyone, feeling guilty for loving a married man. Regardless, she told her sister everything, like always. Missy didn’t know Daniel but she didn’t like the way Scully said he talked to her, or that he was so insistent on breaking his marriage vows to be with a much younger student. Scully didn’t agree with her on the first, but she did on the latter. The trust she had in her sister made it easier to move on and leave him behind.

Was Missy wrong back then?

***

“You've come at such a strange time.” - Scully

Daniel’s focus is razor-sharp and in his eyes she only sees herself.

“I know, I know. You-you have a life.” She can tell he hopes her new life doesn’t include a significant other. She’s not sure what’s true any more.

“I don't know what I have.” She thinks about the interminable silence from Mulder, not knowing what he wants or what their future holds. The small things that brought her here now of all times. “I mean... your x-rays were in the wrong envelope. I never would have even known you were here if it wasn't for a mix-up. It's just…”

“What do you want, Dana?” It seems like so long since someone’s been concerned with what she wants, even herself. The words take her by surprise.

“I want everything I should want at this time of my life. Maybe I want the life I didn't choose.”

It was devastating to get a taste of intimacy with Mulder only to have it turn to ashes. She thought she knew what she wanted, but maybe she didn’t. Here was a path placed in front of her, the chance to choose something she denied herself so long ago. She was tired of denying herself happiness.

She’s interrupted by the irregular heartbeat of the former love of her life. She molds back into the person she’s comfortable with, the doctor, and acts in order to save him. Thoughts, dangerous; actions, familiar and comforting.

*** LATER THAT NIGHT SCULLY'S APARTMENT

Scully doesn’t get much sleep that night. She tosses and turns, unable to relax after the day’s tumultuous events. Her mind is a whirl of confusing and conflicting emotions. The juxtaposition of Daniel against Mulder. One completely devoted to her while the other seems indifferent. Maybe she could have the life she wanted with Daniel but, more importantly, she feels certain about what a future with him would look like. The unknown path lying ahead with Mulder frightens her. She has never been good with not knowing, with not having things planned out.

She used her skills as a doctor to save Daniel. The practicality of having the knowledge and expertise to do something useful feels like a security blanket. For years now she’s been delving into uncharted territory - seeing things she can’t explain. The idea that science doesn’t hold all the answers makes her feel small and inadequate. Leaving that behind for the comfort of medicine and Daniel’s love was very appealing.

After waking and consuming two cups of strong coffee, Scully gets the urge to visit Colleen but she’s not sure why. Her house felt warm and comforting and she regrets the way she acted that night. She has a few questions but nothing that couldn't be answered by a phone call. Needing to experience her presence again, she drives there anyway.

Suddenly the thought comes to her that Colleen reminds her so strongly of Missy. The thought causes a sudden flood of emotion to rise within her and she has to pause before getting out of the car. She’d just recently been thinking of how much she wanted her sister to help her think through her issues with Mulder. Compared to Missy, Scully feels woefully inadequate when it comes to dealing with her emotions. Her sister flitted from partner to partner, dealing with heartbreak and love easily and fully. It was something Scully had always envied. When her feelings for Mulder deepened to a point she couldn't deny anymore, she longed for her advice and comfort.

Scully steels herself as Colleen answers the door, pushing aside the memories and longing for her sister. She prepares herself with more practical questions about her current predicament. Scully doesn’t need help, Daniel does, and she has a vague sense that Colleen could steer her in the right direction. Something keeps driving her to trust her instincts when it comes to this woman, perhaps she should finally listen to them.

*** SUNDAY

“When we hold onto shame and guilt and fear it creates imbalance, makes us forget who we are.” - Colleen

Colleen’s words repeat themselves over and over in Scully’s mind. She moves away from thoughts about herself, directing them to Daniel. Despite leaving before starting an affair with him, his marriage was ruined and his daughter traumatized. Scully had moved on, but he’d lived with thoughts only of her for ten years.

The idea that he’d been so close for so long had meant to make her feel cherished but it only made her uncomfortable. When she’d been abducted he’d been in the same city, working in a hospital while Mulder searched endlessly for her. When Mulder was holding her hair back when she was sick during chemo, Daniel was impressing a new group of students with his brilliance. And when Mulder held her close during her baseball lesson and they finally took the next step in their relationship, Daniel was thinking about her, ignoring his family.

Perhaps Daniel was put in her life again for a reason. Maybe she should take a chance. He was here now and he loved her. She found comfort in his solid presence and the reminder of her former self, so sure of her science. She pushes away thoughts of Mulder, of the guilt and hopelessness from these past few weeks. A sudden ache blooms in her chest and she presses a hand to her sternum to contain it.

She vacillates for a few moments before making a decision, walking towards Daniel’s room with the flowers she’d purchased on a whim. Instead of breezing in his room and matching his smile with an equal one from herself, she’s greeted with news about Daniel’s worsening health.

Unsure of herself, she leaves the hospital, follows her instincts, and has a vision. The black heart - he’d been poisoning himself. The need to heal him, to bring him back regardless of what he would think or want overwhelms her practicality. If she could heal him, make him see what he was doing to himself, he would get better. Her medicine didn’t help, so it was time to trust in something else.

*** MONDAY

She doesn’t even think about what’s happening until it’s done. It felt so natural to utilize something so separate from her beloved science. She just let go and put her trust in the unknown, her instincts screaming at her that it was the right thing to do before her brain could catch up. Missy would be proud. She hopes it’s not too late to share these things with Mulder, that he’ll still care enough to appreciate the distance she’s traveled these past few days.

When she heads home from the hospital, her thoughts turn inward. She realizes now that the woman Daniel obsessed over is a barely recognizable ghost of her current self. Her gradual transition into the person she is now seems sudden and dramatic when she sees herself through Daniel’s eyes.

She wouldn’t have known she wasn’t the same person if she hadn’t seen him again.

Ever since the beginning of her work on the X-Files she’s been in denial of the things she’s experienced. It wasn’t until Antarctica that her refusal to acknowledge what she saw affected her relationship with Mulder and nearly drove him away. It wasn’t just about him or their relationship, but about herself. Her fear surrounding what she’s become and her stubbornness to resist change even in the face of unquantifiable proof.

She justified it as needing to balance Mulder’s penchant for believing anything, to ground him and keep him honest, as he told her himself. Her outright denial was dangerously untruthful. She realizes now how harmful her actions have been. The contradiction of being so unreasonably skeptical in the face of things she sees with her own eyes and then putting her trust in Spender’s words, despite the mountain of evidence pointing to his treacherous nature. The mistake she made was singular, but with all their history, must have been completely devastating for Mulder.

If they can see past this rift in their relationship, Scully knows things have to change. She’ll never believe everything she sees or hears without careful consideration or evidence, but she owes it to herself, to Mulder, to stop letting science blind her. She’s always tried to guide him to be more critical of his beliefs and not trust the first thing that comes into his head. He’s come a long way in the time she’s known him. Why should it be so hard for her to do the same?

A calmness settles over her at these revelations. She sees the path laid out in front of her, as clear as the sidewalk she sits beside. Her thoughts, like a warm blanket, settle over her, comforting her more than the sun’s rays hitting her back. She’ll always carry a little bit of her sister within her, and this makes her feel more like herself than she has in a long, long time.

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees the blonde-haired woman in the cap for the fourth time during these past few days. Hoping to finally figure out what she has to do with the strange occurrences she’s been experiencing, Scully rushes to catch her. When she spins the figure around, it’s Mulder. She smiles widely, recognizing the path leading to Mulder, with him. The choices she’s made all along. Of course he’d be here now, so she offers to make him tea. She’s ready to open up to him, she owes him that. She owes it to herself.

*** LATER THAT DAY MULDER'S APARTMENT

Scully doesn’t speak about their relationship or about Spender, but it’s an unspoken thread that weaves through the story she tells Mulder. Her past, what she saw, what she finally believes. It’s enough to have him here listening to her, looking at her with wonder instead of indifference. Is it affection or an accident when he grazes his fingers along her own, as they sip their tea?

She lets the rumbling monotone of his voice lull her to sleep. The tension fades from her body, making her curl towards his warmth as she fades into unconsciousness.

Hours later, she treads to his bedroom and watches him from the doorway. A wave of tenderness washes over her as she gazes at his sleeping form. He’s lying on his side of the bed, one leg wrapped in his thin yellow pajamas splayed outside of the covers, the planes of his bare chest half covered by the sheet, his strong muscled arms resting on either side of him.

Taking a chance, desperate to maintain their connection, she lays her jacket on the corner of the bed. Inhaling a shaky breath, she wavers tentatively, not sure about whether she should presume she’d be welcome. Their conversation a few hours ago reminded her of where they used to be, but they have yet to speak of where they are, what their future holds.

"Mulder?" she whispers, her voice sleep-roughened and hesitant.

She can tell he hadn’t been fully asleep. He sits up slightly on one elbow and reaches his hand out towards her.

She approaches with a tremulous smile and stands beside him, twining her fingers through his. Mulder wraps his other arm around her hip, draws her closer and nuzzles his face into her stomach. She feels she's come home.

"Mulder... the right choice, the only choice, is us." She brushes her hand through his hair and leans over to kiss the top of his head.

“C’mere, Scully,” Mulder says, pulling her towards the bed. The awkwardness of their embrace results in a stumbling maneuver that somehow ends with her halfway beneath him, their legs tangled together. She chuckles and caresses the rough, stubbly skin along his jaw.

“I wasn’t sure…” Scully’s not clear how much to reveal but, finding newfound confidence in her recent self-awareness and their time together tonight, pushes on. “...you wanted this.”

He moves a lock of her hair behind her ear, strokes her cheek tenderly. "When I wanted to go to England with you, it wasn’t just a case. I hoped a change of scenery would help me...." he searches for the words, “tell you what you mean to me, that I was sorry for being such an ass lately. That I am very, very sorry.”

“I had no idea.” Tears form in her eyes, regret at how she misinterpreted his disinterest. Replaying the scene in her mind she sees it now. He’d been acting so different that day until she shot him down. They were always unintentionally hurting each other, too afraid to voice their thoughts, afraid of rejection.

“Well, it’s good you didn’t come. You had some pretty incredible things happen here.”

Mulder looks at her closely, the familiar expression of his mind working, taking a dangerous path. Moving to lay on his side, he puts some distance between them.

“I haven’t been myself these past few weeks. Things have been… difficult.” Mulder looks away from her, resting his head on the pillow next to hers. He reaches out, his hand tentatively brushing against her shoulder.

“I know what I did was--” Scully starts to apologize but Mulder stops her, putting his thumb on her mouth and shaking his head.

“I went to a dark place... but I’ve been heading there for a while. I never really thought I deserved you, or the happiness we had together. I just used what you did as an excuse to drive you away.” Mulder takes a deep breath. “I’ve been talking to someone. She’s been helping me. I - I... don’t want to push you away any more.”

“Mulder... you deserve to be happy. We deserve this.” Scully moves closer to him, reaches out and places her hands on the side of his face to emphasize her words.

“I’m working on it. You make me believe, Scully.” He smiles, but there’s still sadness and regret reflected in his eyes. “I just need some extra help.”

Scully nods, touches her forehead to his and they take a few moments to just breathe together, side-by-side. She pulls away and waits for his eyes to open and look at her before speaking.

“We can’t keep doing this.” Scully bites her lip, brushes her hand through his hair. “Not talking. It doesn’t work anymore.”

Mulder nods and squeezes her shoulder.

"And… I want to be truer to myself. Can you help me with that?"

“Yeah. I can do that.”

Scully moves her hand to his chest, tracing a line over his pectoral and across his ribcage to the lean musculature of his back. She grazes her nails to one side of his spine, wanting to comfort, needing to touch. She drops her gaze to his smooth, coppery skin, overwhelmed by his closeness, the smell and feel of him next to her. A tingling sensation low in her belly spreads to warm her chest. Despite the desire building within her, she’s gentle instead of demanding, wanting to give him solace if that’s all he needs from her tonight.

As she meets his gaze again, the somber look has disappeared. His eyes are dilated, irises deep green and filled with desire, always exciting her with their intensity when he directs his gaze towards her. Suddenly he’s above her again, his eyes shadowed in the dark room, the glints of moonlight highlighting the strength of his jawline, the curve of his clavicle. She presses her thumb along the length of the elegant bone, her fingers over the muscles of his shoulder and neck, lightly grazing over his chin and finally his lips.

“Trapezius. Sternocleidomastoid. Orbicularis oris,” she whispers, centering herself as she touches him. Her eyes follow her fingers, absorbing the details she was so afraid she’d forget, trying to regain some semblance of control as her desire threatens to overwhelm her.

“You sure do know how to talk dirty to a guy, Scully.” His voice is low and gravelly and he angles his head into her touch. When she sees the affection reflected at her in his eyes, she's suddenly struck by the force of her devotion to this man. That they are here, again.

Their faces inch closer until their mouths are barely touching, a feathery kiss that makes her shiver and her eyes flutter closed. His hand grazes along her arm and shoulder to the nape of her neck, through the hair at the base of her skull while his other hand moves to caress the side of her breast, teasing her with his closeness. Their kiss deepens, tongues tangling against each other as the tenderness of their embrace builds into something more urgent. Twining her hands through his hair, Scully draws him closer. She’s missed him, missed this. She feels absolutely greedy with her want for him, not holding back now that she knows he wants this, too.

With his teasing hand, he reaches under her sweater and cups the swell of her breast through the satin of her bra, flicks the hardened peak of her nipple with his thumb. She moans softly at his touch, rolling him over and straddling him.

She speaks into his mouth, not wanting to break the contact of their kiss. "Mmm, clothes…" She wants to feel her skin against his length, wants him to devour her whole. She can’t wait a second longer.

Mulder’s hands move down her torso, pausing at the hem of her sweater. He wraps them entirely around her waist, sliding upwards. Scully takes over and whips the garment over her head and in the general direction of her jacket. Pulling her down, he kisses a trail from her neck to the fringe of lace covering her breasts. She gasps and moves closer, stroking her palms over his pectorals and reaching upwards to grip his shoulders. Sucking her bottom lip in between her teeth, her eyes flicker closed as Mulder’s mouth continues over the swell of her breast. He curves his tongue around her areola, skimming around her nipple through the thin material as his hand seeks her other breast, massaging and kneading. His other hand glides down to grip her hip, dipping his thumb slightly underneath the edge of her skirt before cupping and squeezing her ass.

She’s on fire. Her skirt has hitched up to the top of her thighs and she thinks he must feel how wet she is already, even through the layers of clothing she still wears. Too many clothes. As if reading her mind, his hand caressing her breast moves around and deftly unhooks the clasp of her bra. He breaks from his suckling to remove her bra, grinning proudly up at her. Scully chuckles and leans over, giving him a teasing nip on his lower lip as his hands glide down her sides to search for the zipper of her skirt.

“Side,” she says and moves off of him onto her back. Lifting her hips after he unzips her, she helps him slip off her skirt. She watches as he moves off the bed to carefully lay it on her jacket. He finds her sweater lying precariously on the edge of the chair in his room and takes the time to unravel it and lay it neatly on her pile of clothes as well.

“Mulderrr…” Scully exhales, poking his bare ribcage with a stockinged toe impatiently.

“You’ll thank me later.”

He winks at her, standing by the bed, his darkened eyes sweeping over her languid form. Reaching for her waist again, he removes her pantyhose, taking her panties along with them. These he discards on the floor and she sighs as his gentle hands caress the bare skin of her legs. Grabbing her ankles, he pulls her to the edge of the bed, kneels down before her. Kisses the arch of her foot, the delicate bones of her ankle, the curve of her calf and the swell of her thigh, starting over again with the other leg - licking, nipping, soothing. Achingly slowly.

“So good, Scully.” His eyes connect with hers briefly before he lays his cheek against the top of her thigh, breathing her in, the scent of her arousal heavy in the air. He continues, nuzzling his face against her mons. Such a gentle touch but igniting a powerful flood of pleasure within her. Kneeling up, he presses his tongue to the skin at the joint of her thigh, slicks upwards and swirls around her navel, lingering on the sensitive sucking the skin below. Rising up on his elbows and looking into her eyes, he smiles contentedly.

He drags his fingertips over her hip to the curve of her waist, the side of her breast, running down her arm to clasp his fingers with hers, squeezing gently. She smiles at him affectionately, her chest heaving with anticipation.

He tears his eyes from hers and his head dips down between her legs. His other hand wraps around her thigh, cradling her to him as he nuzzles the delicate skin there, pressing tender kisses along each one. He lowers his head and his tongue drifts along the edge of her outer lips, a touch that ignites a fire deep within, spreading to the edges of her awareness. She moans softly and her free hand meanders to her breasts, caressing and squeezing her nipples, a counterpoint to his movements below.

After teasing his way in, he increases the pressure of his tongue. Using the flat of it to swipe upwards, circling around her clit and sucking lightly. He pushes inside her and swirls before rhythmically kissing and licking her folds, increasing his speed before slowing to a near pause. He relinquishes her hand, inserting one, then two fingers into her, curling upwards and stroking her g-spot. The indescribable feeling of pressure and warmth blooms upwards and outwards, causing her fingers to tingle and her toes to curl. His hand around her thigh moves to her hip and caresses back again, an exquisite loop she focuses on, willing herself to hold on and enjoy this moment for as long as possible.

The ache inside her builds as he nips and licks, caressing her just how she likes. She manages to lean up on an arm to look at him, needing to see him there, reassuring herself that this isn’t just another dream. His head peeks up from between her legs, watching her with a mirrored expression of desire as she touches her breasts. His chin is glistening with her wetness and his smile glints at her in the moonlight.

“You’re so… fucking… sexy... Scully.” Mulder punctuates his words with a few more curls of his fingers inside her, making her writhe and touch herself with increasing intensity. Still watching her carefully, he removes his fingers and puts them in his mouth, moaning as he tastes her.

“Jesus, Mulder…” Scully groans, laying back, breathing heavily.

He moves back down, his warm breath causing goosebumps to rise on the skin of her inner thighs and lips, teasing her again, drawing out her pleasure. As he increases his movements, she feels her orgasm build, the tell-tale feeling like she’s about to overflow with sensation. He sucks her clit with the perfect pressure, runs his tongue up and around her lips, before sweeping over the skin above her clitoris, swollen with need. And that’s what sends her off the edge. The sensitive nerves throb, her inner walls contract, and she sees the universe behind her eyelids.

She never remembers what she says when she comes but she can always count on Mulder’s twinkling eyes, proud and affectionate, to recount the details later. Usually expletives and some form of religious heresy but always, always “Mulder, Mulder, Mulder”.

As she comes back to herself, she feels the gentle caress of his hands on her outer thighs, his scratchy cheek resting on the sensitive flesh of her belly. He’s watching her with an awestruck expression, a half-smile making him look boyish and happy. She wants to give him this all the time just to see his face, the rest of it a bonus.

She wriggles herself up the bed, beckons him with her hands. After discarding his pajama bottoms on the floor, he moves onto the bed beside her, grazes his fingers along her side and kisses a trail up her torso. He pauses at her breasts, cupping them tenderly in his palms. Taking one taut nipple in his mouth and suckling gently, her desire flares up sharply once more. He nips gently, then places delicate kisses over to the other breast, giving it equal attention. His attentions are leisurely, all-consuming, and Scully only wants more.

“Oh, Mul--” her breath catches. “Mulder, yes...”

He releases her nipple and looks at her, grinning broadly, stroking her breasts and giving them a sweet kiss on each rosy tip before moving up to embrace her, settling himself beside her tingling body. He presses gente kisses along her neck, trailing upwards to her face, soothing her warmed flesh with gentle grazes of his fingers and the tips of his nails. His hands move to the hair at her temple, slick with sweat, and he tenderly presses his lips along her hairline.

“Love you.” Scully sighs, wanting him close, to make him feel as good as she does.

“You’re just saying that because…” He traces the outline of her ear and sucks on her earlobe, tapping her earring in a familiar pattern.

“Mmm yeah, you’re right.” She grins at him and reaches down to swat his ass. She runs her hand along the firm skin there, squeezing, then moves around to grasp his cock.

Mulder gasps at her touch, suddenly frozen and certainly not the one in charge. She looks down between them, loving the contrast of her pale skin next to his muscled, coppery torso, her small hand grasping his thick, hard erection. She swirls upwards, using her thumb to coat his fluid along his length. Releasing him briefly, she pushes him on his back and rakes her gaze over his naked body. His muscled chest with its sexy patch of soft hair, his defined abs, his thick hard cock - all hers. She wets her lips and leans down, licking him from base to tip with the flat of her tongue, humming contentedly, warmth spreading from her groin when he moans. She swirls her tongue around the head and is about to take him in when his hands grasp her shoulders, stopping her.

“Not… ah, not tonight, Scully.” His voice is strangled and he’s panting already.

She smiles widely, knowing that with barely a touch, his own ministrations on her give him almost as much pleasure as it does her. She releases him and traces her hands along the length of his ribcage, grazing the tips of her fingernails over his skin, pausing to brush over the peaks of his nipples.

As Scully continues her meandering course over his body with fingers and tongue, Mulder slides upwards on the bed, starting to pull away from her. Before moving away he grabs her hands in his, squeezing them and bringing them to his mouth for a tender kiss. Their eyes lock, an understanding passes between them that sends a thrill up her spine.

Mulder reaches around and arranges the pillows behind him as she sits up on her knees. He turns towards her and sits on the bed cross-legged in front the cushions, beckoning her with a crooked, sexy smile and a gentle touch to her arm.

She kneels around him, straddling him, hovering over his cock. She reaches up within herself for some lubrication, coating him before she guides him to her entrance. Mulder’s hands brace her hips, his forehead presses against hers as they anticipate this moment. Their eyes connect as she settles his full length inside her with one fluid motion. Finally.

Scully’s stretched to the point where pain mixes indescribably with pleasure. She feels like he fills her up from head to toe--she’s never been more complete. Her eyes close, the emotions welling up from her chest threatening to spill over.

After what feels like eternity and a singular moment, she opens her eyes, Mulder’s face mere inches from hers. His right arm is holding her close, wrapping around her back, his hand coming to rest at the nape of her neck, surrounding her with his warmth. In his close embrace, she feels secure, protected.

“Hey.” Mulder smiles slightly, a wonder and shyness to his expression she wasn’t expecting.

“Hey, yourself.” Scully giggles softly, enjoys that she can look directly into his eyes from this position, that it’s so easy for them to kiss each other. As she presses her hand against his chest, she feels his heart beating wildly, matching her own. Their breaths coming in soft pants. Their lips touch gently, and they begin to move.

The intense feeling of his cock thrusting urgently within her is such a contrast to his gentle hand caressing her back, grazing the shell of her ear, the curve of her cheek, the soft skin of her neck. It’s her undoing, this duality of the man she loves - his intense passion and aching sweetness. She gasps as she kisses him, her desperation rising alongside her impending orgasm once more.

His mouth on hers, teeth clashing, lips pulling, tongues pushing and exploring. He tastes like her and like him, the mingling of their togetherness a unique flavor that she nearly forgot these past weeks. She gasps at the familiarity of this moment. Tears well in her eyes, fall down her cheeks and she licks the saltiness from her lips.

Mulder’s hand moves up to cup her cheek, brushing the moisture away with his thumb, he looks into her eyes, concern and love etched into their golden-green depths.

“You okay, Scully?” He stills her movements, caresses her neck and shoulders with his other hand.

“Mmm…” She has trouble forming words, so she smiles widely, bites down on her swollen lower lip and nods her head. She grasps the strong muscles of his shoulder and neck, and moves once again, faster this time, desperate for release. Her mouth latches onto his, sloppily lapping and sucking at his lower lip.

Scully feels the burning in her thighs at the effort of their lovemaking and she adjusts slightly. Mulder laps at the sweat gathered along her brow, kisses along her throat, the side of her neck. When he nips at the sensitive place behind her ear a jolt of pleasure causes her to shudder and moan.

He starts to take control, to thrust deeper as her movements become jerky and uncoordinated, his hands moving to her hips to guide and lift her.

“Love you.” He whispers into her ear, his warm breath tickling her there. He grunts, his voice strained and she can tell he’s trying to hold back, to make things last, to get her to fall again before he follows.

“Oh, God..” Scully can feel the rising tide of her release radiating outwards, her awareness laser focused on the feel of them moving together. One of his hands moves between them to rub her clit at their joined flesh. He thrusts sharply a few times, hitting the spot within her perfectly. And then she’s gone, seeing sparks beneath her eyelids, and a fluttering wave rise from the tips of her toes to the top of her head. Mulder’s arms brace her as she rides out the contractions lost in his arms, floating in a sea of ecstasy expanding around her.

His breath soothes her flushed skin as she comes down. He’s whispering words of endearment that don’t quite connect with her brain, but his tone floods her chest with warmth.

He lays her gently on her back, leaning over her while she quivers and comes back to herself. His solid body pressed against her grounds her in the present, and she nuzzles into his neck, wrapping her arms around him to keep him close, feeling thick and heavy after her orgasm. When he pulls away slightly, she opens her eyes. Leaning on an elbow, he’s gazing at her and moving the sweat-slicked strands of hair away from her face. She smiles contentedly at him, lazily drawing patterns on the smooth planes of his bicep.

He grins back, but this time it’s his eyes that are filled with the tinge of desperation. His eyes close and she embraces him, encouraging him with her caress. Nestled between her thighs, he begins to thrust again, her palms splayed over his upper back, feeling the flexion of his movement. Her nails graze his torso with a feathering touch. She presses her nose into the hollow of his neck, breathing deeply. The unique fragrance of their sweat and arousal conjures up memories of their many times together before this night. It feels historic and familiar all at once.

She lifts her legs to twine around his waist. He grabs one of her legs, lifting it, letting him penetrate deeper. The weight of him on top of her, the sound of their bodies coming together, surrounds her completely. Wanting to give him as much pleasure as he’s given her, she clenches her inner muscles, tugs at his hair, nips and suckles the warm skin of his shoulder.

“Sc-Scully…” he chokes out her name before one, two, three thrusts and he finds his release, his mouth on top of hers in a sloppy kiss as he comes. He pumps a few more times before carefully collapsing on his side, drawing her on top of him.

Scully nuzzles into his chest, listening to the slowing rhythm of his heartbeat. She wraps her arms tightly around him, wanting to hold onto this moment, this homecoming of theirs for as long as possible. When she feels his heart rate return to normal, he goes to move, to get something to clean them up but she doesn’t let him out of her embrace.

“Stay.” She kisses his neck, tasting the salty tang of his sweaty skin. “Stay.”

Mulder caresses her back, his hand moves to the nape of her neck and through her hair. He  kisses her more firmly, holds her tighter.

“Can’t get enough of me, huh?”

Scully smiles at him, chuckling softly under her breath.

“No, I can’t,” she says, eyes twinkling.

She kisses him deeply, her hand caressing his hair. She breaks their kiss and looks into his eyes. His expression is unreadable and she feels a lurch in her chest. Her thumb moves over his bottom lip, traces its plush curve.

Mulder kisses her thumb, grasps her wrist so he can place tender kisses on each of her digits. She can sense him trying to think of what to say and, for a moment, she doubts herself.

He looks at her and there’s a sorrowful hesitance in his eyes. It reminds her of his words from before - how he’s unsure of himself. She wishes she could rid him of his doubts by reminding him of his worth, but knows it couldn’t be quite that simple.

“Remember, no hiding.” Scully reaches out and cups his cheek, reassuring him with a smile. A thousand words pass between their gazes and she sees Mulder’s expression soften, a small smile finally gracing his lips. She nuzzles the skin below his jaw and sighs, relieved.

“Find me if I do, Scully.” Mulder whispers into her ear, trails his hand along her back.

Once their bodies cool, Mulder ventures into the bathroom, returns with warm cloths to clean them up and a glass of water for them to share. His tender care, his focus on her pleasure, how could she ever doubt his love for her? His eyes tell her everything she needs to know, gazing at her with the love she thought she’d lost.

He wraps them in his light duvet and holds her close, gently tracing patterns on her shoulder. Scully buries herself in his chest, sighing contentedly at his closeness.

“So, uh… seriously, Scully. I’m wondering if I should stick around more, you only seem to experience strange things when I’m not around. Feel like I’m missing out.” His voice is teasing but she hears the vulnerability hidden between his words.

She leans up to look at him, kisses his lips and meets his eyes with a serious expression.

“I’d be okay with that.”

“Yeah?” Mulder brushes his thumb over her cheek.

“Definitely.” They both grin widely, finally acknowledging to each other what they want, what they both need. Pressing her face close to his, she kisses his cheek and jaw before laying back down.

Mulder kisses the top of her head, sweeps his hand through her hair. His touch slows and stops, his breathing even out, but she stays, just a little while longer.

There’s things still left unsaid, but that can wait until tomorrow. Despite the fear she feels about fully exposing herself to him, she’s eager to take this next step with him into their future.

She’ll have to leave before morning and she feels strangely regretful about it. Usually after an evening together, and always on a work night, they would leave before dawn. They would return to their empty apartments by themselves, not wanting to let their independent lives be disrupted by their intimacy. But things feel different now, like they're locked together, united even closer than before. She’s been denying herself so much by trying to hold onto the person she was. Things must change, within herself and between them, and for the first time Scully is at peace with it.

[thesevenseraphs]

Bungie Weekly Update - 12/5/19

This week at Bungie, we revealed Season of Dawn. 

There has been a lot to learn. Did you miss any of it?

On Tuesday, we released a new trailer to showcase the new stories set into motion by your victories over the Vex. Time is broken on Mercury. It’s up to you to use the Sundial to prevent the Cabal from rewriting history. Along the way, you’ll have the chance to rescue an old friend.

We followed that up with a livestream packed with additional details on what to expect from Season of Dawn. Didn’t get a chance to watch it live? It’s OK, we taped it on VHS for you. You can watch it here if you don’t have a VCR: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/517034313?t=14m01s

We know you want to plan your best gameplay sessions, so we condensed the big beats for Season of Dawn into this handy-dandy calendar. 

For some more quick details about what to expect next season, check out this Season of Dawn page right here on Bungie.net.

There have also been some spicy videos showing off solar subclass changes coming to Hunters next week.

It’s a trap!

Line ‘em up, Knock em down!

Bet you can’t stick ‘em 

We’ll show off some of the changes to Warlocks and Titans in the days to come.

HERE COME THE BULLETS

Here’s a preview of some changes arriving with Season of Dawn. We previously discussed some upcoming subclass changes to solar subclasses here, but we have a few extra tuning notes below. We also have some notes on Exotic Engram changes, powerful rewards caps, bounties, Crucible maps, and more!

Rewards

Increased the drop rate of the “Scourge of the Past” raid Exotic weapon Anarchy from 5% to 10%

The Exotic Engram and the Fated Engram have been collapsed into a single new Exotic Engram item

When opened, it awards a new Exotic if any remain to be collected; otherwise, it contains a random piece of Exotic armor

Note: Contents are still class-specific

Powerful and Pinnacle Reward Caps

Powerful Cap: 960, up from 950

Pinnacle Cap: 970, up from 960

Escalation Protocol

Escalation Protocol wave 7 chest no longer requires a key to open

Chest can be opened upon every successful completion of wave 7

Each time opening the chest awards one piece of EP armor for your character class until you have the full set

After full set is acquired, subsequent opening of the chest awards a random piece of armor

Charged Decryption Keys and Key Fragments are being removed from the game; these items will be removed from player inventories

Armory keys to spawn Valkyrie Javelins are unchanged and will remain

EP weapon drops were not touched and are still cumulative-stream boss drops

Weapon Mods

The cost of slotting a weapon mod has been reduced from 5,000 Glimmer to 500 Glimmer

Fixed an issue where Ada-1 could grant duplicate weapon mods

Bounties

Repeatable bounties have been added to the Gunsmith

Merged strike/Crucible/Gambit objectives on the Gunsmith weekly bounty "Field Calibration" into a single objective that shares progress from all sources

Removed Valor/Infamy and Vanguard tokens from "Field Calibration" as there is no longer a requirement for any of these linked activities

Added new mode-specific daily Crucible bounties (one per day, selected from full-time playlists and active rotators)

Reduced the completion requirements of several daily and repeatable Crucible bounties

Removed grenade and melee bounties from the Crucible bounty repeatable pool

Striker Code of the Missile (Middle Path)

Thundercrash

Increased base damage from 2,700 to 3,200

Increased in-flight damage from 100 to 200

Slightly increased the amount of time you have in the air after activation

Nightstalker Way of the Pathfinder (Bottom Path)

Vanish in Smoke

Added a short period (0.8 seconds) after the invisibility is applied where firing weapons or performing other actions will not break invisibility

This should help prevent allies from accidentally breaking invisibility the moment it’s granted to them if unexpected

Voidwalker Attunement of Fission (Middle Path)

Handheld Supernova

Adjusted grenade charge time so it lines up with the animations and FX; this should make it feel more consistent to activate

Crucible Maps

Added Rusted Lands to appropriate playlists

Added The Dead Cliffs, Legion’s Gulch, Retribution, and Solitude to appropriate playlists

Removed Emperor’s Respite, Equinox, Firebase Echo, and Vostok from all Crucible playlists

These maps are still available for play in private matches

WHAT’S IN STORE?

The past couple seasons of Destiny have brought a lot of change to the Eververse as we look to how we support Destiny on our own as an evolving world. Today we’d like to talk about some of what we’ve heard from you about Season of the Undying, and outline how your feedback is going to impact Season of Dawn.

SILVER-ONLY CONTENT

Offering some amount of Eververse content for Silver only is part of ensuring we are able to fund our ability to keep creating and maintaining Destiny and supporting the team that makes Destiny. That said, we agree with you that we’d also like to see a higher ratio of items that will also be available for Bright Dust. By the end of Season of the Undying, around 50% of Eververse content will have been offered for Bright Dust. In Season of Dawn, we’re going to make around 80% of Eververse content available for Bright Dust at some point during the season.

We’ve also heard you say that you want to know what will be offered for Silver only so you can plan what you are interested in buying.  We agree that providing transparency is vital to making informed decisions. We plan to share on social every week what items will be for Silver only during the season as they appear on the Eververse store.

BRIGHT DUST ECONOMY

In Season of the Undying, we changed Bright Dust from a pay-and/or-play-to-earn currency to a play-to-earn reward. We want all players to be able to acquire a selection of their favorite Eververse content every season just by playing the game, and we’ve been keeping an eye on the Bright Dust economy in Season of the Undying with this in mind. In Season of Dawn, all Dawning Weekly and Repeatable bounties will award Bright Dust in quantities equal to the amount awarded from strike, Crucible, and Gambit bounties (200 per weekly and 10 per repeatable). Crimson Days will do the same for Weekly bounties only, as this event does not include Repeatable bounties.

DUPLICATE PURCHASE PREVENTION

The Eververse store no longer permits purchasing an item that is already in your Collection. Hopefully this makes it much more clear which items you have already purchased and will keep you from spending Silver or Bright Dust on an item you already have.

LOOKING AHEAD

We’re always looking at your feedback, and we’re going to keep being open with you on how that feedback is woven into our overall goals for Destiny and for Bungie. As we’re planning for future seasons, we’re also thinking about the types and themes of content offered through Eververse as well as the role of cosmetic content as a reward for achievement. We’re committed to continually and thoughtfully adjusting the Eververse store to ensure it’s a balanced and optional part of the Destiny player experience while also ensuring that we can support the team creating and evolving Destiny. Please keep the feedback coming, and thanks for all you do to support the team.

GET IT BEFORE IT’S GONE

It’s shopping season. You might be thinking about what’s on your own wish list. Here’s a fact that might help you make an informed purchasing decision when it comes to Destiny…

On December 10, the Digital Deluxe Edition of Shadowkeep will no longer be available. Season of the Undying is almost over. Season of Dawn begins soon. The longer time progresses, the less value you’ll be able to derive from the offering that includes all the Seasons we’re deploying this year—so we’re going to stop selling the bundle.

If you still want it, you have a few days left to grab it for 25% off!*

*retail participation may vary

GHOST OF EXOS PASSED

As we prepare for the changing of the seasons, Player Support has the info you need to know before you go. 

This is their report.

SEASONS FLEETINGCurrently, we’re in the final week for Season of the Undying in Destiny 2. All players should be aware that after this Season comes to an end, some activities and loot sources will become unavailable. Here are some notable callouts:

Undying’s free and premium Season rewards—including acquisition for Eriana’s Vow*

Eriana’s Vow catalyst quest*

Vex Offensive matchmade activity

Vex Invasions on the Moon

Vex Weapon Data Seeds from Ikora

The Gatelord’s Eye Seasonal Artifact

Power bonuses granted from the Seasonal Artifact

Season-specific Triumphs, seals, and titles

*Please note that Eriana’s Vow and its catalyst quest will become obtainable through alternative acquisition paths in a future release. Players who have already obtained and begun this quest may complete it after the season ends. Stay tuned for updates.

For an extensive list of tracked items, players should visit this help article.

DESTINY 2 UPDATE 2.7.0Next week, Season of the Undying ends and Season of Dawn kicks off with the release of Destiny 2 Update 2.7.0. Please see below for the rollout timeline.

8 AM PST (1600 UTC): Destiny service maintenance begins

8 AM PST (1645 UTC): Destiny 1 and 2 are taken offline on all platforms

9 AM PST (1700 UTC): Destiny 2 Update 2.7.0 begins rolling out across all platforms and regions

10 AM PST (1800 UTC): Destiny 1 and Destiny 2 are back online on all platforms; Season of Dawn begins

11 AM PST (1900 UTC): Destiny service maintenance concludes

For future release timelines when they are available, players should visit our Destiny Server and Update Status help article. For live updates as this maintenance occurs, players should follow @BungieHelp on Twitter or monitor our support feed at help.bungie.net.

INVITATION NOTIFICATIONS

Today, we’d like to announce an upcoming feature that allows players to disable clan invite notifications in-game.

Starting with the 2.7.0 update, PC players will be able to disable these in-game notifications by going to Settings > Gameplay > Clan Invite Notifications. When this feature is disabled, players will no longer receive clan invite notifications during Destiny 2 gameplay. Players on other platforms can expect this feature to arrive at a later date.

Please note that all players can already disable clan invites entirely if they so choose by visiting their Bungie.net profile settings. In a desktop browser, this can be found under Settings > Privacy > Destiny Privacy. Here, players can individually choose which platforms they do and do not wish to have clan invites enabled on.

[lenacopperleaf]

A (Not So) Brief Summary of The First 27 episodes of Critical Role

So @i-do-as-i-want had mentioned wanting a summary of the first bunch of episodes so that they could get to the part without Tiberius and his player. I was originally going to message this to them but then it got long, and I figured others might be interested too. I tried to be brief while still covering everything important (27 episodes is still almost 100 hours of content ya’ll). Feel free to add if you feel I missed important stuff, but be kind as I did this pretty quickly. This isn’t a post to talk about what went down with Tibs’ player. There’s a lot of those posts around rn and they serve their own purpose. But this post is just supposed to be a summary of in-game events. Summary under the read more!

Underdark Arc (episodes 1-16)

We meet Vox Machina—Percy a gunslinger nobleman who’s trying to avoid his past; the half elf twins, Vax the rogue, and Vex the ranger (and her bear Trinket); Keyleth the half elf druid who is completing her journey to become her people’s Voice of the Tempest; Scanlan a gnomish bard; Pike a gnomish cleric of Sarenrae and her best buddy Grog the barbarian; and Tiberius a dragonborn.

They are a group of adventurers who have just successfully saved a city called Emon. After a six(ish) month break where they have split apart to complete pieces of their individual stories they have rejoined to find Lady Kima, a friend to the Sorcerer Allura whom they met in Emon. Kima, a paladin to the Platinum Dragon, had gone to the Kraghammer to deal with an evil vibe she had been getting. VM arrives, talks to a bunch of people and go to a mine where creatures had been coming to the surface from the Underdark. They make a deal with the mine owner to take care of his creature problems for a lot of gold pieces.

VM goes through the mine defeating a vast assortment of creatures such as umber hulks, intellect devourers, and illithids. Along the way Vex and Keyleth meet Clarota, an Illithid who has been cast out, they invite him to come along to help defeat a mysterious figure known as K’varn who the group believes to be the source of the problem. They then reach the castle of the Underdark Dwarves (duergar). The evil king and queen had been holding Kima! The gang rescues Kima, who dislikes Clarota and wants to leave him behind. VM has a battle against the king and queen. The King dies but the Queen gets away with Grog. Eventually the gang gets back Grog, defeats the Queen and heads on to face K’Varn. The group finds out that K’varn is a beholder controlling the mind flayers through their elder brain, battles him (ep. 11) and wins out. Then it turns out that the god Orcus is trying to use K’varn through the Horn of Orcus-this reanimates the beholder corpse. After persevering again VM unintentionally frees all the controlled mind-flayers and Clarota betrays Vox Machina in the hopes his people will take him back.

The gang fight-run away from the mind flayers and through the use of a teleportation circle return with Kima back to Emon. There is a shopping episode where we meet Shaun Gilmore, Vox Machina’s favorite merchant who has a bit of a flirtationship with Vax. (Ep. 14) The band of adventurers is summoned to Sovereign Uriel and the council of Emon. VM tells the council about the Horn of Orcus and decide to bring it back to Vasselheim where Kima’s temple is where they should be able to keep the Horn safe and away from dangerous creatures/people. VM does this, traveling by air ship. They return the Horn to the Platinum Dragon’s temple. They also say good-bye to Pike for the time being as she has decided to stay to fix the temple of Sarenrae (Ashley Johnson was cast in Blindspot).

Adventures in Vasselheim (17-23)

After saying goodbye to Pike, VM looks for things to do. Grog gets in a fight against Kern in what is known as The Pit (ep. 17 part 1 quite good). Grog loses just barely and is very sad. The group looking to cheer him up and get back to what they’re good at, leave Vasselheim and come across a hydra, and defeat it. Unfortunately Vasselheim has an organization known as the Slayer’s Take who are given assignments to hunt monsters and other creatures and the hydra slain was one the Slayer’s Take was supposed to take care of. Vox Machina is told that they must join the Slayer’s Take or will be persecuted as poachers.

Vox Machina is split up to undertake the Trial of the Slayer’s Take. Vex, Scanlan, Grog and two new friends go to slay a white dragon. Vax, Keyleth, Tiberius, and two other new friends have to beat a Rakshasa (I like these episodes and reoccurring guest characters are introduced. Ep. 18 and 19 have no Tiberius, ep. 20 and 21 have…well a lot more Tiberius. For the reoccurring guest character of 20/21 it is Kash a cleric/paladin who is played by Will Friedle. Kash is interested in Keyleth romantically and Vax gets jealous. Kash is good here but there are other instances of him after Tibs so no big to just avoid these ep if need be just know the Rakshasa will be a problem again in the future). Once everyone has passed their trial they become members of the Take. Yay!! Then they go to the village of Pyrah so Keyleth can pass the Fire trial of her Aramente. They go to the Fire Realm, things are hot but they get by and Keyleth passes. On their way back they have to hide from a big scary red dragon (foreshadowing!!)

Before they leave back to Emon, Grog returns to the Pit where he faces off against Kern, and this time…is victorious!!!! (ep. 23, part 1. There is some Tibs but the Grog part is pretty good and is pretty heavy Grog centered which is the last we’ll see of that for a little while.) Fan Favorite NPC Viktor the gun powder merchant is also in this last episode in part 2, (2:08:29)

VM returns to their keep and meet Kynan (recurring NPC) who wants to join Vox Machina. Vax knocks him out and then revives him in an attempt to teach Kynan that their work is dangerous and not for him at that time. He tells the boy to train and that one day maybe he can join. Kynan runs off saying he will do that. Vax later feels guilty and tries to find him but cannot. Seeker Assum, a member of the Council, sends word to Vox Machina that they are invited to a fancy feast next week to welcome Emon’s new fancy guests…the Briarwoods (aka the people who invaded Percy’s home and killed all of his family).

The Briarwood Arc (24-27)

After receiving the invitation Percy finally tells Vox Machina all of what had happened to him before he joined the Adventure Party. Basically bad people came in, killed everyone, Percy was tortured before he was able to escape and now he wants revenge. On 5 of the 6 barrels of his gun there is a name—Lord and Lady Briarwood, Anna Ripley, Sir Stonefell, and Professor Anders. The group says that they will help Percy.  The group splits to do errands, get their money from Kraghammer and play with Trinket.

Then the group goes to the feast, Percy disguised as Vax. They see Silas and Delilah Briarwood and hear their version of how they acquired Whitestone (ie. The de Rolos got sick and died and they were in line to inherit), Vax although asked to go with Seeker Assum sneaks off and does his own thing (after agreeing to say “Jenga” over the magical earrings if he needs help). He ends up getting caught by the Briarwoods in their room. As dinner ends Vax finds himself in deeper and deeper trouble as he isn’t able to speak or move.

When he gets a chance to break the spell Vax throws himself out of a window and yells Jenga. A Very intense fight follows (ep. 25 is really good overall though as it is nearing the end of time Tibs was around things are starting to get strange/tense with him so watch if interested and you can just skip him really) as the group fights to save Vax and stop the Briarwoods. They fail to stop the Briarwoods though they do save Vax. Percy begins to act more rash than is normal for him. Sovereign Uriel and his council are unhappy with VM as it seems they attacked Emon’s guests. He agrees to look into it but VM is on some thinnnnnnnnn ice. The gang does some…questionable stuff when some bloodhunters come after one of their new friends (This is where the Vox Machina hates old people comes from). There’s a filler episode where Scanlan turns everyone into Cows. Its kinda amusing though skippable overall.

Okay, now we’re at ep. 27. The tension throughout the episode is weird at the beginning and terrible by the end imo. Unless you enjoy second hand embarrassment/awkwardness/weirdness I would suggest trying to avoid this episode. Percy begins to have nightmares and dreams of a smoke entity before ghosts attack Grey Skull Keep. They fight off the ghosts and then later in the day start to make plans.

Seeker Assum comes to see them and says that he thinks that Uriel is under a charm like Assum was earlier. Keyleth had used Greater Restoration on him when the council was talking with VM, but Assum pretended it didn’t work b/c he wanted to stay in Uriel’s good graces to help VM later.  After more debate, and an offer to raze Whitestone from Tiberius, and some creepy smoke voices in Percy’s ear, Percy decides that they will go to face the Briarwoods and that they will have a week to prepare. (Now comes the worst part of the episode tension wise). The party makes their preparations to leave the city, Vex leaves a note for Uriel.

Then they leave for Whitestone. The journey goes okay though they lose their horses to harpies. Keyleth is becoming increasingly concerned for Percy, feeling he isn’t telling them everything. The next day they continue on their way and the episode ends as they are faced with a dragon-ish creature.

The next episode they continue onto Whitestone but Tibs is controlled by Matt. The disappearance of Tibs’ player is brought up sometime over the next few episodes but he does not come back to the table and you can now enjoy the rest of the episodes of Critical Role! 

[nancywheelxr]

oh no, Brainy accidentally finding the Gossip Spreadsheet

I will stand by the headcanon that while Brainy would find it weird and stupid and kind of creepy, he would absolutely use the opportunity to mess with them. It’s too good a chance to pass up.

He finds it by accident.

No, really. The search had been meant to be a simple scan of their systems, checking for any bugs or breaches on the firewall, along with the usual red alerts.

It suffices to say, the spreadsheet– it raises a couple of flags.

The Days of Our Lives is the title of the document, and Querl couldn’t figure out what it could possibly be about in a workplace environment. The only match in all the internet is with one of those so-called soap operas Imra had become strangely addicted to in her time here.

But that would make no sense.

So, for the safety of the country, it’s his duty to open it.

The first tab is named The Directors and it seems to be mainly about J’onn and Alex. Or rather, the ongoing bet if J’onn had legally adopted her or not and if he had become a vegan, tofu-maker hippie or not. Their reasons to think so seem to revolve around an incident when Alex had called J’onn Dad by mistake a few years ago and the rumor he would have been the one to walk her down the aisle on her wedding if it had happened. On the hippie instance, there are a lot of reasons listed, since his banning of lethal weapons to his resigning.

The second tab is named Supergirl and while the few debates on her true identity would be worrying, they are all so far off, he can’t bring himself to be concerned. Whoever she is, Cat Grant is apparently in the lead. Lena Luthor in a wig, tall girl from the cafeteria, and Russian spy are the runner-ups. Under that, they debate if Supergirl wears a wig or not– there are some good points, he has to admit. It almost makes him wonder.

The third tab is named Agent Dox if that’s even really his name and his interest is piqued. There are several points, but the main thing seemed to be trying to convince each other Querl is an alien. One of them remember the instance when he flew off to help Supergirl, but someone else argues it could have been some sort of experimental tech since it was an isolated incident. Another agent brings up the fact no one seems to remember exactly when he started in the DEO and how he works strangely well with the computers. The list goes on and on, with topics in favor and against the theory, and once again, it would be concerning if they weren’t blowing things so out of proportion– as it is, they sound too delusional to be taken seriously.

There’s a fourth tab named it’s like an ep of the freaking bachelor and Querl nearly laughs out loud when he reads the contents. Here, everyone seems to be weirdly invested in everyone else’s social life. More specifically, their relationships. It goes back all the way from even before Supergirl, but now? All they seem to be debating is the contents of the letter Winn’s left him. And since when he is friends with Supergirl.

At first, Querl is admittedly worried about the whole thing, and a little creeped out, but then again, humans are known to find speculating about the lives of their peers quite entertaining. And what else would be expected when you have a significantly large group of people that cannot talk about their jobs outside their workplace? They would certainly need an outlet and this at least is in no danger of breaching security.

That being said, while Querl doesn’t appreciate having his own personal life dissected like this, or especially because of his discomfort, he figures he’s allowed to have some fun with it too.

*

“Hey, man,” an agent, Richards, if he’s not mistaken, approaches him, trying to take a look at what he’s writing. “Whatcha doing?”

Querl looks up, hands artfully covering the paper. “Writing a letter. A solar flare is supposed to hit Earth in the next couple of hours and I need to send this before then if I do not want to wait another two weeks.”

Richards’s eyebrows raise. “A letter? To who?”

“To whom,” he corrects, “and the answer is to Winn. We have been keeping in touch.”

“No kidding?” Richards crows, endlessly delighted. “You guys still talk? Even with the whole Back to the Future situation?”

“Of course.”

“That’s– oh, man, okay, look I’ve gotta go, but nice talking to you, dude.” He leaves in a rush, furiously typing on his phone.

Querl bites back a grin.

“Is this really true?” Alex asks, coming to stand beside him.

“Oh, no, of course not. It would be virtually impossible,” he says, showing her the paper he had been writing in, “this is the photosynthesis equation.”

*

“So,” Agent Cruz says, drumming her fingers in the table while they wait for the computers to finish scanning the city, “any plans for the weekend?”

Querl pauses his own search for the alien DNA to glance at her, “yes, actually. Supergirl has mentioned there is a Bon Jovi concert in a nearby city, and since Mon-El has always talked highly of his skills, we have decided to attend.”

She gapes at him, eyes wide and awed. “You’re going to a concert with Supergirl?”

“Yes, that is correct,” he amends, “it was either that or another movie night.”

“Oh, that’s– you know what? I think I’m going to take my break now, you sure you can keep an eye on the scans?”

“It should not be a problem.”

Agent Cruz scurries away, cursing under her breath and nearly running into Alex, who leans against the consoles, frowning at the scene, “everything okay?”

“Yes,” Querl shrugs, grinning, “I was merely talking about the Bon Jovi concert.”

“Righ, about that– I’m thinking we should all meet at my place around noon? James is bringing snacks for the trip and I want to make sure it will all fit in the cars.”

*

“You know, I grew up in a small town,” Agent Jackson comments, watching the technicians install the new equipment, “never thought I’d see shit like this.”

Querl makes a noise of agreement, distracted.

“Aliens, spaceships, satellites,” he continues, “sounded a whole lot like science fiction back then. What about you? You used to this stuff?”

“Indeed,” Querl briefly looks away from his inspection, “where I came from alien life forms have been widely known for a long time. And technology has always been intrinsical to our daily life.”

“Is that so? Sounds like a bunch of smart people, then,” Jackson eyes him with interest, “does this place have a name?”

“Oh, you wouldn’t know it. We keep mostly to ourselves,” at least in this century. “Now, if you excuse me, I am busy supervising this installation.”

Agent Jackson apologizes heartily, then walks away, missing the snort Querl can’t stop from leaving his lips.

*

“You are doing this on purpose,” Alex narrows her eyes, hands on her waist, as she watches another agent stumble away, phone in hand. “You know they’re talking and you’re messing with them, aren’t you?”

“Are you implying I’m purposefully fueling their rumors while not confirming nor denying anything?” Querl asks, hands folded calmly behind his back.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“Then, yes, for the past five weeks.”

Alex sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I don’t know why I thought the shenanigans would stop,” she fixes him with a hard look, “Agent Carter stopped me in the hall the other day to ask if you and Supergirl had eloped last week. The week before that, it was to ask whether or not you had an identical twin working on Black Ops.”

“I haven’t heard that one before,” he says, impressed. Querl had genuinely thought he had been aware of all the rumors floating around by now. “But in my defense, the more outlandish these rumors are, the less likely it is for Colonel Haley or any other superior officer to believe them.”

She shakes her head, struggling to keep a straight face, “they do sound like tin-foil-hat conspiracies.” Alex snorts, points a finger at him, “but if they get out of hand, you’re fixing it.”

“In 98.67 % of my simulations, it never becomes a problem,” Querl tells her, running the numbers once again, “but in the unlikely event it does, I will take full responsibility.”

“That’s good enough for me,” she shrugs, already turning to leave.

“Director,” he calls, “if I may– what did you tell Agent Carter?”

“Well,” Alex grins, “I think my exact words were wouldn’t you like to know?”

[anthropologicalhands]

ceg fic: slow down, follow up

title: slow down, follow up summary: she's dealt with Greg and already apologized to Josh, but then there's Nathaniel. post 4x13. notes:  hey, we do have a break, and I do hope we have this conversation between the two of them in future eps. also wanted to see if i could get that look from the end of 4x13 off his face. Ao3 Link

One day, Rebecca will have the foresight to text Nathaniel before showing up at his apartment to drop bombshells, but honestly the thought doesn’t even occur to her until she’s already in the elevator going up. She’s already nervous, so Rebecca reasons that she might as well just do what she has done so many times before: walk right up to his door and rap sharply against the wood until her knuckles sting.

Of course, Nathaniel should also use the peephole on his door more often, too; his eyes go comically wide, caught off guard to find her standing there.  Rebecca is tempted to laugh, until his expression morphs from surprise to concern in a split second; his gaze intent as he looks over her. She doesn’t entirely blame him, given recent events, but the fact that he feels the need to check at all sends a hot wave of shame right through her. Monitoring her needs and her mental state is her responsibility—not the responsibility of others, and the more she realizes how bad it could have been, the worse the shame grows.

“Hey, Nathaniel.”

“Rebecca,” he says carefully, but now that he’s reassured that she isn’t three sheets to the wind, there’s a slight smile playing across his mouth. Somehow, he’s still happy to see her, and her stomach still turns over at the very idea. Meanwhile, the itch to run away and just avoid the entire conversation increases, but that discomfort is familiar enough that she can push past it; they are in a weird place and she’s the reason and she needs to deal with it and clear the air.

“Sorry to interrupt your night, but, uh, do you have a minute?” She tries to go for a rueful smile, but the strain at the corners is too much to maintain it.

“Yeah. Is everything okay?” He leans against the doorframe and tucks his hands in his pockets; he might have a smile ready for her, but his posture is still wary. It doesn’t seem like he will be inviting her in, and that’s…fine. Of course it’s fine, given the events of last week. She can’t just barge in on people’s lives the way she has done in the past, intruding into their spaces—his space—with nary a thought. Especially not when she was the one to end their relationship and when he was finally ready to step away.

“Sort of. I wanted to talk to you about…what happened last week.” She takes a deep breath to steady herself, tugging the ends of her blue cardigan a little more tightly around herself. “It’s a little late, but there was some fallout I had to deal with, and then Paula was in the hospital—”

“Yeah, I understand,” Nathaniel says, a little too easily. “But look, I don’t know if that’s really necessary. You were pretty drunk—”

“No, it definitely is,” Rebecca cuts in, because no way is she going to him make excuses for her again. “What I did was completely uncalled for, and I really owe you an explanation. Or, if you want a different way to frame it, some additional context. I know you like context.”

He nods reluctantly. “Okay, yes, I do like context.”

“Right.” Relieved that she will be able to say her piece, she starts again, “So, the context is that before you saw me: I was not having a great day.”

“That tracks.”

She nods and takes another deep breath before continuing. “I…hadn’t been monitoring my BPD situation as closely as I should have, so I had a disagreement with my therapist. And then I had a fight with Greg that…wasn’t great, and mostly my fault. I went out, had three drinks, and tried to pretend I wasn’t angry and sad. But it didn’t work, and I was completely revved up and full of this…energy that wasn’t going anywhere and was just coursing through me and when I went to see you, I was really looking for—”

“An outlet,” he finishes, and God, if the situation wasn’t so mortifying there are so many dirty jokes she could play off that, but it is and she can’t. Especially not with whatever multitude of microexpressions are crossing Nathaniel’s face right now, that he tries to distract from her by clearing his throat and crossing his arms over his chest. “For the excess of bad energy. Right. Got it. Then what?”

His expression is neutral, which should be better than angry but also means she can’t read him at all in this moment, when usually he is so open to her; she squirms at the creep of the self-recrimination crawling up her spine.

“Well, after you very sensibly asked me to leave, I went home and I ended up having a, uh, weird massage moment with Josh, which freaked us both out.”

“Ah.” Something shifts in Nathaniel’s expression at Josh’s name: not significantly, but his smile is gone. He pulls himself together quickly, though, shaking off whatever feeling that he doesn’t want her to see. “But nothing happened with him, either?”

“No. Again…we were freaked out. Enough that I ended up going to talk to Dr Shin about getting on track.”

“Right. That’s…good, though, isn’t it?”

“I mean, in general, it really is. I know why I did that, and with hard work, it won’t happen again. But that doesn’t change what did happen,” says Rebecca, twisting her hands together into different configurations, forcing herself not to look away. There is no blame or harshness in Nathaniel’s eyes, but it’s not the look she is used to seeing, either; it’s like a screen placed before the light and whatever message she is searching for is being heavily filtered. “And that’s why I’m here. To apologize for coming over and…basically trying to seduce you. Especially after we left things in such a good place, coming over like that might have…blown things wide open. I’m sorry about that.”

Nathaniel gives a short, tight nod, and glances down at his feet, cheeks puffing out as he exhales.

“It was confusing,” he admits, studying the patterns on the hallway floor.

“I know. I was in a bad place, but that isn’t an excuse,” she says, heart sinking. Despite her hopes, she doesn’t feel any ease for having apologized. “Is there…anything you want to ask me?”

Nathaniel looks up and away, staring over her head at some fixed point in the opposite wall. He rubs a hand hard behind the back of his neck; when his hand drops away she can see red marks on his skin from the drag of his fingers.

“When you came over…you said that you still thought about me,” he says quietly. “Do you remember saying that?”

He’s giving her another out—one that she probably should take, since she doesn’t have an answer, at least, not one that adequately encompasses the swirl of emotions stirred up by her frustration.

She was hurt and looking for validation and she knew he would give it to her. But there was also the twisted justification: how she told herself that she was being honest, that she did still think about him, and wanted him at times even when he wasn’t directly in front of her. That for so long before they fell out of sync he had made her happy, and she knew she could make him happy. If he accepted her, they would both have what they wanted, and what was so wrong with that?

But it would have still been completely unfair, for inevitably she would have regretted it the morning, and any progress they have made towards a potentially peaceful relationship might actually have been irrevocably destroyed. Rebecca bites her lip and looks down at her sandals, thinking through her answer.

“I do, actually,” she says slowly, carefully, to be as clear as possible. “But I said them because I was feeling bad, and I thought you still wanted me and that if you saw that I wanted you, you would just…follow my lead.”

Like you used to.

Like nothing had changed between them. Like neither of them had been making an active effort to be better.

She hates the way Nathaniel passes a hand over his eyes and exhales a shaky breath.

Her automatic impulse is to reassure him, tell him that there’s more— that it was about him, albeit in a twisted way—she didn’t choose his doorstep instead of returning home to Josh on a whim. Her feelings for all of them are muddled these days, but she does have reasons for the choices that she makes, that she has always been assured by the fact of Nathaniel’s interest and conviction in her, and after being told by seemingly everyone that she didn’t know what was best for herself, she wanted that validation from him.

She wants so many things, these days. Her second chance with Greg. The continued comfort of Josh’s presence in her life. To taste Nathaniel’s tenderness again. Just because she can catalog her emotions, can press ‘pause’ long enough to parse through and understand her reactions, doesn’t mean she isn’t still a ball of conflicting desires.

But none of that would be right to say, and so she waits, uncomfortably, while Nathaniel straightens back up and looks at her again, his expression painfully, meticulously even.

“All right, good to know,” he says, his voice flat. “That settles some things I’ve been trying to understand. Thank you, for explaining that. It’s a nice change.” His tone is not acerbic, despite his words, she still bristles in the beat before the implications sink in and he immediately backtracks.

“No, wait—shit. Rebecca, I didn’t mean it like that. I—just that, well, things with us have been frequently confusing in the past.” He scrubs a hand through his hair in frustration and abruptly steps out of the doorframe, not in her space but without as distinct of a line between them. She freezes, unsure how to react at having him half again as close; he freezes, clearly not sure where to go next, and crosses his arms back over his chest defensively.

“I get it this time. I get that whatever brought you here last week wasn’t about me. It’s…kind of a relief, to know that for sure. Even when you showed up last week, it was clear that you weren’t…entirely all there. You didn’t have to come here today to explain what happened, but you did, so…thank you, for that,” he finishes lamely. “I appreciate it.”

Rebecca absorbs his explanation silently, still a little off-kilter by having him closer, and compensates by folding her arms over her chest, unintentionally mirroring his posture.

“Yeah,” she says quietly. “I’m glad. It really wasn’t about you, or Josh, or even Greg; it was about me not taking care of myself. And that was my fault and it’s my responsibility. I’m going to get back on track, I have a plan, and I am going to get back into all of the old stuff. All of it. And add some new stuff, on top of that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” She takes a deep breath, steeling herself. “Actually, as part of getting back into regulating my BPD, I’ve started medication. All those months of resisting, and it turns out, they aren’t such a big deal after all.”

His head jerks down to look at her properly, blinking. The next time he shifts in the doorframe, the lines of him are not so rigid. His surprise isn’t entirely unexpected; she’d talked to him once or twice when they shared an office, but the fact he doesn’t immediately recoil is a surprising relief.

“Really?”

She forces a laugh. “Yeah, I know. Except, you know, adjusting to the dosages. Right now, I still fall asleep everywhere, even standing up. But that should pass.”

“Yeah, unexpected narcolepsy can make things just a little inconvenient,” he says, drawing a smile from her. “But they’re working? You’re doing better now?”

“I am.”

“Good. I’m glad.”

He smiles at her again, and some of her old affection for him rises, unbidden, from all of the places she sought to push it away—threatening to make her jittery with it—unless she says exactly what is on the tip of her tongue.

“Nathaniel?” she asks quietly.

“Yeah?” His voice is equally soft.

“I meant what I said, about liking what you said in our last conversation. The one you had with sober Rebecca and not the vodka wearing a Rebecca-dress.” He huffs a laugh at that; grinning, Rebecca continues, “I said it at the time, and I’ll say it again: it really meant a lot to me to hear you say that you wanted me to be happy.”

“Thanks.” His smile slips a little, and he takes another breath, fingers swiping absently at his temple. “But, uh, while we’re on the subject of things that need to be said…I know I never apologized to you.”

The affection that was making her nearly dizzy abruptly freezes and congeals along her insides.

“Really?” she forces out, suddenly fearful that whatever uneasy, careful moment they have managed to share will be wrecked again somehow.

Nathaniel nods, working his jaw before he speaks. “For what happened with your brother, but also…everything else that have happened, these last few months. I owe you that much, at least.”

When she had broken up with Nathaniel, this last time, she had done so in the belief that they would have no reason to speak to each other, that all arguments, hurts, and curiosities would be rendered null and void. That none of these things have turned out to be quite true has always been a little perplexing (then again, who expected her and Josh, of all people, to renew their friendship), so the sudden want that rises up in her, at the possibility of having that closure, is easy to accept and difficult to resist.

“Okay," she says slowly, straightening up and squaring her shoulders. "I would like that.”

“Yeah.” He nods, and an uneasy silence falls between them, until Rebecca raises her eyebrows meaningfully at him.

“Well?” she prompts.

He blinks, discombobulated.

“Wait, you meant now?”

“I mean,” she shrugs. “I am here.”

There’s a vaguely panicked look on his face. “Look, I am sorry—I can say ‘I’m sorry’ right now and completely mean it. But I was thinking that this might be something we need to sit down for.”

Part of Rebecca, the squishy part, wants to tell Nathaniel not to worry about it—let bygones be bygones. But if she is honest with herself, it’s also the easy way out. Facing the ways they have misunderstood and hurt each other over the last year is not an easy task, and as the efforts of new Greg and new Rebecca have shown, no matter how painful or easily glossed over they seem, past wrongs need to be dealt with.

“I agree, but if it’s not now, would you be able to wait for me? Getting back into my stuff is going to take up a lot of time.”

“I could do that,” he agrees. “Gives me more time to prep flashcards.”

She laughs. “Well, be careful for what you wish for, because you are going to have a lot of prep time. This taking-care-of-myself thing is gonna take time. Like, a lot of time. Nearly all of the time that I’m not spending with Paula. Like, even Greg and I are, um—” she falters.

“Split up?” finishes Nathaniel helpfully. At her questioning, owl-eyed look, he elaborates, “I ran into him at Home Base and he, uh, mentioned it.”

“Oh,” she says, blinking. “Wow, okay, cool. Coolcoolcool.” She isn’t entirely sure how she feels that he already knows—she wasn’t planning on keeping it a secret, but having Nathaniel know that she’s single again makes her stomach squirm in confusing ways. “Yeah. Between therapy and dealing with the new meds and Paula, there was a lot to take care of. But we’re still friends, at least. That’s something.”

Nathaniel nods. “That’s how he put it, too.”

“Really? That’s nice. I mean, we also can’t get around the fact that this is like, the third time I’ve tried to have sex with someone else after one of our dates went wrong and I don’t know much about baseball, but I’m pretty sure that three strikes, you’re out is very much still in play.”

She can see the way Nathaniel’s eyebrows shoot up high on his forehead that this is new information to him. Good. Not that she expected Greg to say anything, but it’s good to have confirmation.

“Uh—sure, I guess. I’m sorry about Greg. I know you were happy with him.”

“Thank you. And I was, but with my issues, being happy doesn’t magically fix anything.”

“I’m getting that,” says Nathaniel, almost ruefully, very differently from the other times they had circled the same subject. She tilts her head at him, struck by a sudden thought.

“How do you know Greg, anyways? I mean, you guys showed up together on my porch a few weeks ago, but I never really got around to asking—”

“We met at the gym. Technically through Whijo, except he was no help at all. And then we kind of spent several hours together locked in quarantine for squirrel flu. Josh was there, too,” he adds, as if that fact is a mitigating factor, rather than a multiplier. She does not need to think about all of her exes together in one room.

Although the hospital setting has the potential for…rather intriguing scenarios, actually…

But that is neither here nor there.

“That sounds like a story,” she says.

“Not a fun one. There was a dumb fight and we crashed the children’s ward. You don’t need to know more than that.”

“I feel like I kinda do,” needles Rebecca, starting to grin.

Nathaniel pulls an exaggerated face, shaking his head. “You really don’t.”

She laughs, and he smiles reflexively at her.

“Wait, you saw him before we broke up, then. And you didn’t tell him about me coming to your apartment?”

“That…wasn’t really the kind of situation I wanted to deal with while trapped in a sick ward.”

“Yeah, that probably would have been awkward,” she agrees, and pokes him gently in the shoulder. “Well, I’ll let you know when I have some time, and you let me know when you have your material down cold.”

He exhales softly and smiles down at her. “I will.”

For the first time in a long while, she leaves Nathaniel’s apartment feeling that things are pleasantly open-ended, without being open to interpretation.

[lovelacemagazine]

Jay Guevara Talks to OG ILLA About Music, Life, Success and MORE

The East End of Richmond native, OG ILLA, has been one of the cornerstones within the Richmond hip hop scene. He’s more than a rapper. He’s also a graphic designer, former VCU student, event planner, and promoter. He has been featured on Season one of the HennyNCoke Podcast, featured in the 2017 VirginiaGotNow Vibe Out Festival, and created a wave last year with his single Kareem that got play on Richmond’s 106.5 The Beat radio station. OG ILLA is coming out with his next project Illegal sometime soon after releasing a surprise EP Emotions earlier in September. 

I decided to interview OG ILLA because of his journey through various obstacles within his life and specifically the past twelve months.

J: Let me start off with your most recent track 2k feat The Uth 2k has more of an R&B vibe compared to the more upbeat energetic tracks you’re known for. It reminds me of the track you did with Skinnyy Hendrixx called Hittin’ Fo. Can you elaborate what mindset you were going into when you and The Uth came up with the track?

OG: BammBamm (the producer of the track) heard “Kareem” on the radio and reached out to me. He sent me a beat pack and told me I could have whatever I wanted. I went through it and I heard this beat… it was the first one that truly stood out to me… At the time, I was in a toxic relationship, I was dealing with my court case (facing 5-10 years for gun and drug charges) and honestly, I was like I truly want something better out of life.. I wanted my dreams to come to fruition and this hook kind of just came to me. Even though I was going through a lot I wanted to put positivity into something and I came up with “2K”. I was working on my album ILLEGAL with UTH and I went over to his studio with it. And man, this was definitely a track I put A LOT of work into. We must’ve recorded it 15 times over a span of 6 months. I re-wrote my verse probably 5 times because it was one of those things I really HAD to say exactly what I wanted to say exactly HOW I wanted to say it…

J: Back in August, you and other artists such as Ms. Proper, Reppa Ton, Big Al Harrison, Black Liquid, and more held a RVA Success Drive to raise awareness and collect school supplies for Richmond Public Schools. Before the school year ended, RPS had a few weeks where schools ran out of toilet paper and had an inadequate amount of other supplies. Was that situation your main influence for the school drive or were there more influences that went behind the curation of the drive?

OG: It was a mixture. My friend Tye hit us up and said let’s do something for the youth, I’m purchasing a bunch of bookbags and I want to do something to give back. We discussed and came up with the idea for a school drive. Naturally, I was put in charge of putting the event together and we decided after a meeting w/ Ms Proper to name it #RVASuccessDrive because we wanted to push that narrative. SUCCESS. Considering the problems in Richmond Public Schools, we DEFINITELY felt that situation was serious and wanted to help our city. It’s important to protect are youth AT ALL COST. They are the future and the only way they can have a chance is if we provide the best opportunities for that to happen. But it also is a personal thing for me as well. I grew up in the ghetto with a single mother, her abusive boyfriend and my 2 sisters… We WERE those kids, even after we got put into foster care, we were the kids getting donations, eating 2 free meals a day and having to really rely on the community to help us. I swore when I had a chance, I’d give back, and it’s just the first of many. Got other things planned for the community as well. *Wink wink*

J: How did you think the RVA Success Drive event turned out? I felt like that it was a very successful event. I had a great time at the event. The comedian from DC who hosted was hilarious and I loved the painting that the artist from North Carolina did.

OG: It was just that. A SUCCESS. We raised 3 boxes worth of school supplies and $260 in money which we went to Walmart and spent all of that on more school supplies and delivered them to Elkhardt Middle School.

J: Let’s get into more about you and your trials and tribulations. You’re transparent about growing up in foster care within your interviews and in your music. If you could, can you elaborate on how some imperative experiences that came with it affected how you developed your mentality today.

OG: Well, I don’t let it define me. And I never liked being “that kid” but it shaped mentally because I had to survive. On my own. Bouncing from foster home to foster home, juvenile detention, and group homes. Really trying to process it all now still to be honest. Dealt with neglect, abuse and really trying to find my place in life. but I have to say part of it was a blessing. My mother was poor, and my father was non-existent so when I was put into foster care I went to a more affluent side of town and even though I still didn’t have money or “finer things” I got to see a different type of lifestyle that inspired me. I wasn’t stuck in the slums mentally or physically anymore. I saw there was more out there for me and I went to get it.

J: You started off 2018 with going through some jail time, got out in June, then performed on the same stage as The Roots and Mad Skillz at the 106.5 The Beat Fest. In under a year, you went through a literal one eighty as it pertains to the direction that your life was going. How did the jail time change you? Did it create any quiddities that you hadn’t had before about your life and the things you do?

OG: Man. It was an eye opener. It made me appreciate my time more. I wrote, read and worked out a lot. Trying to make the most of my bid. But I spent a lot of my nights reflecting on how I spent my life, planning on how I would work extra hard and get myself out of the situation I was in. I think I missed my nieces more than anyone and I couldn’t stop obsessing over my album.

J: With all that you’ve done within the Virginia music scene, where is one venue that you hadn’t been at, but would like to perform at and why?

OG: The coliseum. And one day it’s going to happen. On everything.

J: How do you feel about the Virginia music scene as it pertains to other cities showing love for each other? I personally think that the issue with the Virginia music scene is different for each region, but I feel like that the cross regional love is okay. It’s not an issue to me, but I think that more of the issues are within the regions themselves showing love to other artists, brands, producers, within that same region.

OG: I don’t think it’s that at all… I think the problem is everyone feels the ONLY way to show love is to agree on everything. The real way to develop unity and building together doesn’t mean we all have to “like” each other’s music or always agree on everything but we can show each other how to build, plug each other in the right opportunities, learn from each other’s mistakes and success… talk marketing and creativeness to each other... not everyone is going to be a fan but doesn’t mean they can’t be an asset.

J: One last question, when can we expect Illegal to come out and what is a piece of advice that you would like to give to any aspiring creatives in the Virginia hip-hop scene?

OG: The album is coming out on Halloween. I want to just tell everyone, stay true to your dreams. Grow and get your money and marketing correct. It’ll take you a long way.

[animesavior]

“Orga said something to me once, that he wanted to laugh it up with us once we all got to wherever it is that we were going. Sadly, Orga isn't with us anymore, although his words are still very much alive inside of me. Orga's final orders still hold true, and so I'll follow them with everything I've got. So if anyone gets in my way, in the way of Orga's orders, I will us all of my power crush them. It doesn't matter who they are.  Got it? Okay. So live until we die and carry out his orders”

-          Mikazuki Augus, Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron Blooded Orphans (Ep. 49)

The Toonami Trending Rundown for April 21-22, 2018. We’re coming down to the final stretch of Gundam Iron Blooded Orphans as the Tekkadan initiate their last stand against the Gjallarhorn assault. Meanwhile, among other great moments, Trunks and co. see if Beerus stopping Zamazu has any effect on his future, while Polnareff has to stop Alessi and his de-aging stand before he manages to abort his and others’ lives, and Colt tries to stop a major shift from the Chimera chain of command emerging from the queen’s passing.

Not much trends to report resulting from the week’s broadcast as the only trends spotted this week were Toonami and JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure on Tumblr.

This week’s feature was a game review of The Aquatic Adventure of the Last Human. It received an 8 out of 10 score.

In anticipation for the upcoming sequels set to premiere on June 2, Adult Swim also created an FLCL indent bumper which was shown during this week’s FLCL. You can check it out below.

In Hunter x Hunter news, Viz Media is presently working on the 4th edition of the series’ Blue-ray collection, which will contain episodes 51-75, which covers the entire Greed Island story arc that aired on Toonami last year. For those wishing to add this to their collections, its available to pre-order from Rightstuf with a $49.99 MSRP.

And for those that missed the big news last Thursday…

In an event that many fans have been waiting for for the past two years, Toonami has announced that the smash hit anime series My Hero Academia will finally be joining the lineup, beginning on May 5 at 11:30 pm Eastern as the replacement for Gundam IBO on the lineup. MHA’s arrival will bring some additional changes to the schedule, with FLCL being moved to 12:00 am at least in the interm, while Hunter x Hunter and Black Clover will switch timeslots on 1 am and 1:30 am respectively. Toonami has mentioned that they plan to air all 3 present seasons, and with the way things are going for this franchise, I wouldn’t be surprised if more are inbound in the future.

Similar to the successes of the likes of Sword Art Online, Attack on Titan, One Punch Man, JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, and Dragon Ball Super before it, My Hero Academia has grown to be one of this decades’ most popular and well acclaimed anime franchises, with large streaming views on Crunchyroll, Funimation Now, and Hulu, and high DVD/Blu-ray and manga sales, it comes as no surprise that MHA has become one of Toonami’s most requested shows.

Unfortunately as late as December 2017, Jason DeMarco has mentioned that acquiring MHA was not possible at the time due to competitors grabbing exclusivity to the premiere rights among other things we’re not privy to. Because of this, it wasn't until now that Toonami was able to grab this show. But as the old saying goes, good things indeed come to those who wait, and from what we’ve seen, MHA’s arrival has been largely positive from the anime community and long awaited by many among the Toonami Faithful. And for those who have been wanting to see what the buzz of this show is all about, we’ll all I can say now is your chance.

In terms of trending, My Hero Academia would trend on tumblr as a result.

Tune in next week as Gundam Iron Blooded Orphans showcases its final episode, while Black Clover begins the Royal Capital arc, among other great moments. Until next week, stay gold as always.

Legend: The shows listed are ordered based on their appearance on the schedule. Show trends are listed in bold. The number next to the listed trend represents the highest it trended on the list (not counting the promoted trend), judging only by the images placed in the rundown. For the Twitter tweet counts, the listed number of tweets are also sorely based on the highest number shown based on the images on the rundown.

Tumblr Trends:

#Toonami

#JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure

Tweet Counts:

#DBZKai [1,180 tweets]

#FLCL [1,383 tweets]

#JoJosBizarreAdventure [2,304 tweets]

#GundamIBO [2,174 tweets]

#HunterXHunter [1,554 tweets]

Notes and Other Statistics:

#FLCL: @WhoTrendedIT reported that @KariWahlgren started the trend in the US.

Special thanks to @jmb70056, @coreymbarnes and others I forgot to mention for spotting some of the trends on this list.

At least the Whales are still here…Only Toonami on [adult swim] on Cartoon Network.

[staircasttext]

Ep 08 Transcript: Twenty to Thirty Feral Cats

Episode 8

[intro music]

PAZ: Hi everyone. Welcome back again to Stairway to StarClan, a Warrior Cats reread pawdcast. I'm Paz.

JULIAN: I'm Julian.

LIZ: And I'm Liz.

PAZ: And I did almost forget the name of our podcast in the middle of saying that. So off to a strong start. Yeah, we are here today starting Fire and Ice, the second book in-- I guess it's just called the... I've also forgotten what the first books--

JULIAN: I think it's The Prophecy Begins is the name of the series.

PAZ: That is. I have my old version so I don't think it even says that. I mean, I guess I should say this is the book at which I have never read past for The Prophecy Begins, so this is uncharted territory for me in terms of details of what happens, beyond just like broad plot points. So that's exciting.

JULIAN: Yeah, we're also getting into the-- like, I read all these books multiple times, but I don't remember what happens in which book, so.

PAZ: Yeah, like some of the major plot points I know that do come up, I've been trying to figure out like what book I think that happens in. I'm like, I have no fucking clue. I don't really even know-- well, I know it's in this book but I don't know if that will just be the whole book. Well anyway, we read it. We started reading it. We're all gonna find out together. Anyone else want to add anything before the summaries?

LIZ: Yeah, I want to look for one second at the Allegiances area, cause there's some great descriptions. "Fireheart, handsome ginger tom. Graystripe, long-haired solid gray tom." Why is he called Graystripe then? What the fuck?

JULIAN: I always thought all the official art was like wrong because he didn't have any stripes in it. But it turns out that fuckin apparently he doesn't have stripes.

LIZ: What?

PAZ: Are they like metaphorical stripes. What happened?

LIZ: Are they military stripes?

PAZ: Oh no.

JULIAN: Maybe they thought the stripes would kind of like come in when he got older.

PAZ: Wow, Bluestar's really betting on that, huh? Didn't happen.

LIZ: She's playing the long game. You know, she's just got that big mastermind brain. Except when she doesn't. There's one more and it's for one of the the older cats, and it's gonna come up later. Let me see here. Yeah, there's Dappletail, "a once-pretty tortoiseshell she-cat with a lovely dappled coat." They do this to her at least two times. She was once beautiful. Hey. Come on.

PAZ: It reminds me of that Cats character.

JULIAN: Oh yeah, fuckin...

PAZ: The one who sings Memory.

JULIAN: Grizabella, the glamour cat.

PAZ: Yeah, Dappletail the glamour cat.

JULIAN: What do you have against aging gracefully, Erin Hunter?

LIZ: Yeah, all cats are beautiful to me.

JULIAN: All cats are queens.

PAZ: Yes.

JULIAN: Including Dappletail.

PAZ: Yes. I think old cats can be very cute.

LIZ: Yeah, again, look at Chloe.

JULIAN: Chloe.

LIZ: Chloe.

JULIAN: I was also excited to see in the Allegiances that Barley, Smudge, and Ravenpaw are all listed.

PAZ: Yes.

LIZ: Yay.

JULIAN: Spoilers, I guess, but it's also in the front of the book, so.

LIZ: Spoilers.

PAZ: Yeah, they do that sometimes. They do that every time. Aw, Smudge's description is so cute. "Plump, friendly black and white kitten who lives in the house at the edge of the forest."

JULIAN: I don't think he's a kitten anymore.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: He and Fireheart are the same age.

PAZ: Well, his balls are gone so he's an everkit or whatever the hell that was.

LIZ: Is that what happened?

PAZ: We found that like cat slur somewhere.

LIZ: That doesn't mean he stops aging.

PAZ: Well, I don't know. I don't know what perspective Allegiances is written from.

LIZ: You know, whoever wrote this, hundreds of years in the cat future, the weird archivist doing this had some very strange views about age. You know, after cats have learned to write.

JULIAN: Right.

PAZ: Yeah, right.

JULIAN: With their little paws.

PAZ: Oh my god, there's a RiverClan person called Loudbelly.

LIZ: Aw.

JULIAN: I love that.

LIZ: So good.

PAZ: That's a great name.

LIZ: Wait. Right below is there's a warrior called Whiteclaw.

PAZ: The description is just "a dark warrior." Period.

JULIAN: Why is he fucking named Whiteclaw?

LIZ: Maybe he's got little white socks.

JULIAN: Oh, that would be good.

PAZ: Oh, yes. I like that.

LIZ: Or maybe he just you know, likes hard seltzer.

JULIAN: I feel like hard seltzer didn't exist as a thing when this was written in like...

PAZ: No. Two thousand--

JULIAN: 2005 or whatever.

PAZ: Yeah. Okay, when did this come out? I think it might have actually come out the same year as the first one or like the year immediately after.

LIZ: Really.

PAZ: It came out, like really close together. I remember being--

LIZ: If you poured like vodka into a carbonator, would that be anything? Is that scientifically like viable?

JULIAN: Oh, yeah. Publish date 27 May 2003. Um, let's see. Carbonated vodka. I don't know if the alcohol would hold carbonation well.

LIZ: Probably not.

JULIAN: Um, nope. Someone did put-- here's a YouTube video. Someone put vodka in their Sodastream. Uh, yeah, it's possible. I think it probably doesn't taste good.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: I don't think you should carbonate anything. That's my stance.

JULIAN: You don't like the bubbles?

PAZ: No, I don't.

LIZ: Give them to me.

JULIAN: I love the sharp water.

LIZ: Me too, handshake.

PAZ: I don't like the bone hurting juice.

LIZ: I don't know. It feels-- sometimes your bones need some hurting. It's medicinal.

PAZ: Mmkay. Anyway, I think we're-- oh yes.

JULIAN: We've gotten wildly off topic.

LIZ: But just as a heads up, it's currently thundering where I live, so adds to the vibe, but also--

JULIAN: It'll be atmospheric.

LIZ: Yeah. But if you hear any, like rumbling in the background, I hope you don't, but that's what it is.

PAZ: I hope your power stays on.

LIZ: Me too.

PAZ: Well, let's dive into this then, just to get into it. Okay, so moving on to the summaries. This week, we read the prologue through chapter 3 of Fire and Ice. So the prologue opens on an unknown group of cats huddled near the Thunderpath within range of a Twoleg campfire. The cats are led by Tallstar, revealing them to be the exiled WindClan cats. The WindClan cats are still searching for a new home since being driven from their territory. The other cats in the clan voiced their concerns for themselves and the kits, but Tallstar decides that they have no choice but to settle in this barren area. The cats find a tunnel underneath what appears to be a highway overpass and take shelter there, having no other choices.

Chapter 1 then opens immediately following the last scene of Into the Wild, where Fireheart and Graystripe are completing their silent vigil. The book recaps the events of the previous book through Fireheart's internal monologue a lot. After their vigil, Sandpaw and Dustpaw get a scene where they are clearly displeased that the younger apprentices were made warriors first. And then as Graystripe and Fireheart settle into sleep in the warriors den, Fireheart thinks about how he still has to warn Bluestar about Tigerclaw. And he then has a very vivid dream of Thunderpath and cats in front of a fire.

After a timeskip to the evening, Fireheart and Graystripe have a conversation about how Fireheart wants to warn Bluestar. Graystripe doesn't seem to believe what Ravenpaw had said, and pointed out that if Ravenpaw was right, Redtail must have killed Oakheart, which would be against the warrior code and thus an assault on the deceased deputy's honor. Fireheart decides that Graystripe can stay out of the situation, and he will handle it himself. There is then a naming ceremony in which Longtail, the cat who hated Fireheart for being a kittypet, gets a new apprentice, Swiftpaw.

The next night is the night of the Gathering, and Fireheart and Graystripe attend it as warriors. Along the way. Fireheart finally gets a chance to talk with Bluestar alone, and informs her that Ravenpaw is not dead but with Barley, which Bluestar takes well. However, when Fireheart tells her about Tigerclaw, she is less receptive, especially because it calls Redtail's honor into question. She is doubtful that Ravenpaw actually saw the murder. The conversation is interrupted by Tigerclaw, and they continue on to the Gathering. Fireheart is left off kilter and begins to doubt his own gut instincts and the words of Ravenpaw.

Chapter 2 features the first gathering after Brokenstar's exile. Bluestar introduces Yellowfang as the new ThunderClan medicine cat, and Nightpelt from ShadowClan reveals that StarClan chose him to be their new leader and will travel to the Moonstone the next night. Crookedstar then revokes ShadowClan's right to hunt in their territory, which causes tension with Nightpelt. Crookedstar and Nightpelt then agree that with WindClan gone, both clans should hunt in their territory for prey. Bluestar objects to this, saying WindClan must return because StarClan gave them four clans for a reason. Tigerclaw publicly agrees WindClan must be returned. Nightpelt concedes that he will allow WindClan to return, as does Crookedstar. But both Fireheart and Tigerclaw notice after the meeting that Crookedstar and Nightpelt seem to be scheming in private despite publicly agreeing.

And then in the last chapter, chapter 3, the ThunderClan cats discuss Nightpelt and ShadowClan back in their camp. Whitestorm suggests ShadowClan is stronger than they appeared and that Nightpelt may have high ambitions. And some other cats reveal RiverClan's river hunting grounds have been disturbed by Twolegs. Later Firepaw once again dreams of the Thunderpath and the sad cry of a young cat. He wakes up unsettled and ultimately decides it must be a commonplace nightmare.

The following morning, Bluestar calls Fireheart and Graystripe for a meeting, where she gives them the mission to find and bring WindClan cats back to the forest. They will be the only two cats on this mission. Graystripe almost lets slip to Tigerclaw that they'd taken Ravenpaw to WindClan territory not too long ago, but Fireheart covers it up. The two then visit Yellowfang in the medicine cat's den, and Fireheart has some melancholy thoughts about Spottedleaf. And then after receiving their traveling herbs, the two warriors head out in search of WindClan. And that is the end of our reading this week.

JULIAN: I thought like they do a good job of kind of recapping what you last saw on Warriors, without it being like too heavy handed. Which was nice given that for most people, there's gonna be a little bit of a wait.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Yeah, I agree. It's pretty well done.

LIZ: Yeah, I just want to say it's a good use of Fireheart's brooding. He's got reason to.

PAZ: Yeah, I guess it also helps that, like there's literally no time in between the end of this book and-- I mean, the start of this book and the end of the last book, so I guess he's just like thinking about current events.

JULIAN: Yeah, well and I feel like we didn't get to see any of his like emotional reactions to basically anything that happened.

PAZ: Yeah, he seems to already have much more of like an internal life going on in this book than in the last book.

JULIAN: It's nice. Graystripe is also developing a little bit more of a personality, which is cute.

PAZ: Yes. He's developing the personality of like, not trusting his friend's words.

JULIAN: Well, yeah, that part sucks.

LIZ: Of a centrist?

PAZ: Yeah, he's developing the personality of a centrist. Oh, no.

JULIAN: Ugh.

PAZ: I do have a note here of "Graystripe confirmed fluffy" with a little smiley face. Cause I think there's a line about him being like long-furred or something.

JULIAN: Yeah, they're all getting fluffy for the winter.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: No, the Graystripe line that I liked was he says something about that he hopes Tigerclaw will set Sandpaw and Dustpaw to chasing blue squirrels.

PAZ: Yeah, that was cute. There's also a very, very cute moment in chapter 3. I'll just read it. "Graystripe purred briefly in his sleep as Fireheart settled besides him and closed his eyes." It's very cute.

JULIAN: Aw.

LIZ: Aw. They're still just little guys.

JULIAN: Pals.

PAZ: They're little guys curled up next to each other.

JULIAN: Excellent.

PAZ: I mean, I'm happy WindClan is getting introduced because as I've stated as a child, I was a WindClan fan. So.

JULIAN: Hell yeah.

PAZ: It's their time, and good thing because the other clans suck right now.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: I mean, do we want to go from the top? Like, from the prologue onward?

JULIAN: Yeah, with the prologue?

PAZ: Yeah. The prologue was nice. It was like very atmospheric and stuff. Um, I don't understand why humans suck so much in this universe.

JULIAN: I also have a note about like, why do the Twolegs fucking suck.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: I mean, like, I know, like, some people are mean to cats like even just out on the street. But I don't think to this degree where like every single human being is.

JULIAN: Yeah, no, it sucks so much. Everyone's so mean to these little cats.

PAZ: Unbelievable.

JULIAN: Although I will say if I saw like 20 to 30 feral cats.

PAZ: Okay, that's fair.

JULIAN: If I was just chilling in the woods and I saw 20 to 30 feral cats, I might also like, yell at them

PAZ: What's that tweet about the feral hogs?

LIZ: That's so many though. I would leave. I don't think I could take 20 to 30 feral cats. They'd just get me.

PAZ: Legit question for rural Britons? British people? I don't know what British people are called. How do I kill the 20 to 30 feral cats that run into my yard within three to five minutes while my small kids play?

JULIAN: I feel like Twolegs sucking is gonna be kind of a theme of these books.

PAZ: It definitely is.

JULIAN: Given that we're already starting to see like, oh, the Twolegs are encroaching on the forest.

LIZ: Habitat loss.

PAZ: Yeah. I am curious to see where it goes with that theme of like, are you gonna lean into like this environmental theme? I don't know where they land on the execution, but we'll see.

LIZ: We don't know it yet. But in two or three series, the humans are just gonna have a little apocalypse and die off and it's gonna be post human apocalypse cat society just like in Guardians of Gahoole. Which is just gonna be like a weird mythology that's like used to scare the little kits and stuff.

JULIAN: Right? Like, do your hunting practice or a Twoleg will get you.

LIZ: Why is the Thunderpath called that? It's so peaceful and quiet. It's still smelly though.

PAZ: This is a bold claim to make about future books. I mean, I guess we'll see, you know.

JULIAN: Liz's predictions are my favorite part.

LIZ: Yeah, it's me. I'm the medicine cat.

PAZ: But, I mean, the prologue was pretty short. It was just like some like, atmospheric scene setting. But poor WindClan, man.

JULIAN: Yeah. I feel sorry for that cat who's going to have to give birth in a storm drain.

PAZ: Right?

LIZ: No.

PAZ: I would take in these 20 to 30 feral cats and feed them.

JULIAN: Trap neuter return, guys. Cats don't have to give birth in a storm drain if they don't get pregnant.

PAZ: Taps head three times. But yeah, and then moving on to chapter 1. It's pretty long. It's just a lot of Fireheart being like, I gotta tell Bluestar again.

JULIAN: It felt like a fuckin like comedy of errors. Every time he gets up to tell her, she is like, oh, Tigerclaw is at my side now, or I'm gonna hop up on the High Rock and make an announcement. It felt very Yakety Sax.

PAZ: Yeah, it did. But you know, I'm glad he finally like got that drilled into his memory enough that it happened.

JULIAN: I was so afraid he was going to tell her about Ravenpaw and then not say anything about Tigerclaw.

PAZ: Oh, I know.

JULIAN: I thought he might chicken out at the last minute. I'm very glad that he did not.

LIZ: I couldn't take that for another book.

PAZ: A whole nother book.

LIZ: I'm glad he's got a little brain now. I'm so proud of him. Character development.

PAZ: Yeah, he does seem to be developing a bit more of a brain. It's only been like three chapters. But you know.

LIZ: Speaking of Fireheart's brain, there is this part. near the middle? The end of chapter 1 where one of the other warriors gets like an apprentice. And there is a little bit of thought there about like xenophobia.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Yeah, Fireheart is like, wow, that guy didn't welcome me when I was a kitten. But I guess it's fine because that other kitten was born here.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: And apparently, he makes an expression cause Graystripe is like, what's with you?

PAZ: Yeah, I like that scene a lot, actually, cause it was like, wow character.

LIZ: Uh-huh. And it hasn't been that long since he was like that young. So like, this is still kind of fresh to him.

PAZ: I mean, yeah, cats age so fast. I guess it was a couple months ago.

LIZ: Yeah. He's just a little-- he's always gonna be a little guy to me.

PAZ: They do still have little guy energy.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: They're just little guys who are also xenophobic.

JULIAN: Yeah, just because they're little guys doesn't mean they can't do crimes.

PAZ: No, that's very clear. Something I didn't know, I didn't realize that killing another cat was against warrior code? Question mark?

JULIAN: Yeah, I also didn't-- I feel like they kill each other all the time.

LIZ: They do.

PAZ: I was like, uhhh. It wasn't like just killing the deputy, right? Or was it like killing in general?

LIZ: Maybe it's deputy.

PAZ: Gotta go look at Graystripe's exposition.

LIZ: Maybe it's like a political faux pas.

PAZ: Yeah, maybe.

LIZ: Because isn't their murder policy like, hey, if we see you around these parts, it's on sight?

PAZ: Yeah, I thought so.

LIZ: Right?

PAZ: Okay, what Graystripe says is, "I can't believe that Redtail would have deliberately killed another clan deputy in battle. It goes against the warrior code. We fight to prove our strength and defend our territory, not to kill each other."

JULIAN: They kill each other-- again, they kill each other all the time.

PAZ: Right?

LIZ: They really do.

PAZ: I was like, I don't think it would like drag his name through the dirt if it turns out he killed somebody. Tigerclaw says he killed Oakheart, and everyone loves him. Like what is--

JULIAN: Yeah, wait.

PAZ: What is the issue?

JULIAN: Well, I guess it was like he killed Oakheart in revenge for killing Redtail.

PAZ: I guess.

JULIAN: Would that...

PAZ: I guess that makes it better. I don't know.

JULIAN: That makes it okay.

LIZ: Revenge is fine.

PAZ: It also sucks that everyone like just does not believe Ravenpaw.

LIZ: He's done nothing wrong. He was just a little like, guy. I'm sorry I keep saying that. But he's just like, a perfectly fine like, member of the clan who was really great at like hunting snakes and stuff. What did he do wrong?

PAZ: I mean, I guess no one was like, oh, like Ravenpaw's like lying just to be mean. They were all like, maybe he just like mis-saw or he got like, anxious or something. But it's still like, I think it's like a big-- like if you like run away and like fake your death and have that accusation, I think maybe you should like consider more strongly that it might have weight behind it.

JULIAN: Right? This isn't like a fun like flirty accusation for Ravenpaw.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: It has ruined his life.

PAZ: Yeah, he had to leave his home forever.

JULIAN: I mean, it hasn't ruined his life because he's living in gay pastoral fantasy with Barley, but like, he doesn't know that.

PAZ: Yeah, he hasn't had his like rom com yet.

JULIAN: We're at still the beginning of the rom com.

PAZ: Yeah, Bluestar seems to have no brains, I think.

LIZ: Where'd they go?

PAZ: I'm very frustrated by it. Like why does she love Tigerclaw so much? Chill.

LIZ: They're not even friends. She doesn't like him.

JULIAN: His vibes are so rancid. They're so... and then for Fireheart to start doubting himself. And like Graystripe also to doubt him. Again, Graystripe, you just risked your life to rescue Ravenpaw.

PAZ: Right? I don't understand it.

LIZ: It makes Graystripe seem so like wishy-washy.

PAZ: Right? He's a centrist. He is. He's like, Oh, I don't want to say anything that would harm the clan, you know.

LIZ: Yeah, it makes his like, earlier risk trying to help Ravenpaw seem like, oh, like a way to avoid conflict rather than sacrifice. Ugh.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah. I think we do see some stuff later that kind of backs that up.

PAZ: That's good.

JULIAN: As far as his characterization, if I'm remembering the handling of some stuff correctly, but.

LIZ: (skeptically) Mm.

PAZ: Oh boy.

JULIAN: Not with Ravenpaw, but.

PAZ: Yeah, yeah. Um, yeah, I feel bad for Fireheart, though. I do think it's like reasonable for him to start doubting himself when literally everyone else is like, I think his vibes are fine. Despite Fireheart being like, his vibes fucking suck. I can sense it.

JULIAN: I was glad that we got a moment of-- speaking of bad vibes-- Longtail like being nice to his deputy, even though Fireheart is like sad about it. Or to his apprentice, sorry. Because at least we're not continuing the cycle of terrible mentors.

PAZ: Please don't give Tigerclaw another apprentice.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: Oh, no.

LIZ: Bluestar was considering it, right?

JULIAN: Maybe he's too busy for one now.

PAZ: I don't know.

JULIAN: I thought maybe-- I said maybe he's too busy for one now. But then I remembered that Bluestar had a apprentice, so. Although she seems to have had one fighting session with Firepaw.

LIZ: It was really good, though. Look at him now.

JULIAN: Yeah, that's true. He is very good.

PAZ: She said, my work here is done.

LIZ: And it was.

JULIAN: He's a feisty little boy.

PAZ: Yeah, apparently, cause she just made him a warrior.

LIZ: That's all he needed.

PAZ: Yeah, you're right. He's like, he's never going to be mentored by Bluestar again, because he's a warrior now. That literally-- that was only important for one scene. That is so funny.

LIZ: God.

JULIAN: He had one session of driver's ed. He got behind the wheel once and then they didn't even make him take a driver's test. They were just like, oh, here's your license. Go ahead.

PAZ: I mean, I guess the one thing I can say for Bluestar is she was like, really chill about Ravenpaw leaving. She was just like, yeah, sometimes cats just would be better off somewhere else, like not in a mean way. Just like, he didn't seem that happy here. Thanks, Bluestar.

LIZ: I did like the parallel she made with like, Fireheart, you're happier here, even though you weren't born here. And like, it was interesting cause he was also self conscious about that. Because like, that's the thing that does get him now and then, like, personally, even though she means it as like a nice thing.

PAZ: But she says, I do not want to hear it about Tigerclaw, so that's great.

JULIAN: Oy.

LIZ: One last thing about chapter 1, before we get to the later parts, I guess-- or I mean, we're kind of there already, but you know. I just want to draw attention to Whitestorm pretty early on, because he's described as having a deep meow.

PAZ: I mean, there's cats who do.

LIZ: Yeah, it's just funny to hear that. It's like, "'glad to see the dawn, you two.' Whitestorm's deep meow took Fireheart by surprise."

JULIAN: I'm just imagining him now, now that you mention that, that video of the cat who like meows like a person.

PAZ: Yeah, yes, I love that video.

LIZ: The one that's like (deep voice) meow.

PAZ: Yeah, that one.

JULIAN: That's Whitestorm. I too am surprised, Fireheart.

PAZ: Do you think the cats have like cat accents in their meows?

LIZ: Yeah, they're British.

JULIAN: Oh, I wonder if the different clans have different accents?

LIZ: Aw, that'd be cute.

JULIAN: Because I know-- well, do you think Fireheart like talks like a kittypet? Cause I know that like pet cats often make different noises than like--

PAZ: They meow more.

JULIAN: --feral ones, yeah.

LIZ: That's true.

PAZ: Everyone's always meowing in this book but cats only meow like around humans. But we'll let that slide. It's fine.

LIZ: It's almost like that could be solved with some very minor writing changes. I can't think of what, though.

PAZ: Oh, we should--

JULIAN: Would you say something about it?

PAZ: We should number count the times said is in this book. Can we get...

JULIAN: Yeah, I can do a-- let me do a quick search.

PAZ: Can we get a number on that? Okay, thank you.

JULIAN: On my ebook.

LIZ: Anyone want to make any bets for how many we'll have?

JULIAN: Yeah, give me your over/unders.

LIZ: 12. By the end of the book.

PAZ: Maybe they've they've got a little looser this book. So 20.

JULIAN: Yeah, we're at 27.

PAZ: Oh.

JULIAN: But none of them are dialogue tags.

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: Welp. Okay, that means--

JULIAN: Entirely-- all of them are like, Graystripe said nothing, or like.

PAZ: Oh god.

JULIAN: This character said this. This character said that, or like characters reporting that a character said something else, like in their own dialogue.

LIZ: How do they know what said is?

PAZ: Oh, it's a big fat zero. The dialogue tag.

LIZ: Wouldn't they be like, you'll never guess what Bluestar meowed to me.

PAZ: Oh, God.

JULIAN: Do you want to know how many times meowed is used?

PAZ: Oh, yeah.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: 300.

LIZ: Oh my goodness.

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: I can hear it. It's just like 20 to 30 cats meowing at you.

PAZ: Oh boy, well, um, no updates in writing style there, I guess.

JULIAN: I think that's probably in the style Bible.

PAZ: God. I wonder.

LIZ: If you want to be an Erin, and you come up with your draft, and you use said as a dialogue tag, they're gonna be like, [claps] No.

PAZ: Even once.

LIZ: We're going to Ctrl-F. We're going to replace. Listen, we love the rest of this. But we do things a certain way here. It's about consistency.

JULIAN: I wonder if the cats chirp at all.

LIZ: Oh, my God.

PAZ: See, that's how cats would talk to each other.

JULIAN: Because that's how cats communicate.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Nope. None.

PAZ: Unbelievable.

LIZ: Maybe later.

JULIAN: I guess does have like a sort of--

PAZ: Bouncy vibe to it.

JULIAN: It has like a very cheerful energy to it.

LIZ: They can be cheerful sometimes.

PAZ: Well they should use it sometimes, then, unless these cats are never cheerful.

LIZ: They are. I hope they're happier. Yeah.

PAZ: Well, I think we were talking about Whitestorm. My note on him is he seems like real cool and chill and I don't understand why he wasn't made deputy.

LIZ: He didn't want to. He just didn't want to.

PAZ: I mean, I guess that means he got to live for now, at least, so.

JULIAN: Whitestorm has like cool uncle vibes.

LIZ: Cool uncle who's like-- he's got a little bit more brain. He's not gonna get, you know, murdered immediately maybe.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah, he's the uncle who like at family gatherings you like, go out to the porch because people are fighting and like, he's just chilling out there with a drink. And you just like make eye contact and nod at each other.

PAZ: I love that.

LIZ: He's having a White Claw. He's like, okay, you're 13. Have a Lacroix.

PAZ: But then chapter two is just the Gathering, basically. Cat politics are back. They're still going at it.

JULIAN: I feel like ShadowClan has got to stop electing or like choosing to elect leaders who have rancid names. Make Runningnose leader.

PAZ: Night is not as bad as Broken, I guess, but it's still...

JULIAN: Yeah, no, it's not.

LIZ: It's just kind of goth, I guess.

PAZ: But he sucks too, and so does Crookedstar apparently.

JULIAN: Damn, who'da thunk?

LIZ: Why doesn't he have like a river-themed one? Why isn't he also like, Wetfoot or something? Wetstar?

PAZ: Wetass.

LIZ: We can't do that here.

JULIAN: Okay, okay.

PAZ: We can't use that. Sorry, I just-- you can't use that word.

LIZ: Mm-mm.

PAZ: I just see Castiel from Supernatural's face--

LIZ: No.

PAZ: --in my mind's eye.

JULIAN: Bringing it back. Bringing it back.

LIZ: We've gone too far. Oh, no. Fishstar.

JULIAN: Yeah, no, I'm... yeah, Fishstar. Hookstar would be fun.

PAZ: Sinister.

JULIAN: Like, you know, he's really good at scooping fish out of water. Um, give them a little... little tricky vibe. But not like as bad as Crookedstar.

LIZ: No, it's just roguish. It's not just evil.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: Prawnstar. Eyyy. Like, like monster.

JULIAN: Do they have crayfish in England?

PAZ: That's what I was wondering. I'm like, I don't know. That's why I said prawn.

JULIAN: Bringing back our little section of animal googling.

LIZ: Yes.

JULIAN: I can't believe I said crayfish. Crawfish.

PAZ: He could be... He could be Crawstar.

LIZ: Wait, is there a difference?

PAZ: I don't know.

LIZ: Also, yes. Do you know why?

PAZ: Why?

LIZ: Well, there's only one. There's not really any reason why. But they are called white-clawed crayfish.

PAZ: Oh.

LIZ: Yeah, see? It's all ring theory.

JULIAN: There you go.

PAZ: Whiteclaw is in RiverClan.

LIZ: "Due the introduction of non-native North American signal crayfish." Oops.

PAZ: Woopsie.

LIZ: Oh no.

JULIAN: You just gotta eat them. You gotta eat more of them.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Get on it, RiverClan.

JULIAN: God, I want crawfish. All right, um.

LIZ: I'm so hungry, guys.

PAZ: Me too.

JULIAN: It does suck that-- the cat politics-- it sucks that RiverClan, having just come from being like, no, ShadowClan, you can't encroach on our territory, is like, but it's okay if we encroach on WindClan's and like, don't let them come back.

PAZ: What the fuck?

LIZ: It was instant.

JULIAN: What's wrong with y'all?

PAZ: Yeah, like real shitty.

JULIAN: Also, again, I agree with whichever cat was like, there's just some scrawny rabbits up there. Like, yeah, what do y'all want?

PAZ: Yeah, like WindClan already is like, toughing it out up there. Like, just let them come back. You're not gonna get much out of it.

LIZ: It sounds like WindClan is like maybe five people at this point.

PAZ: Oh, God. Well, maybe that was like a Crookedstar homophobia moment. I found it interesting that Tigerclaw was so adamant about WindClan coming back, though. Just I guess it wasn't clear in the text if he like-- it wasn't indicated that he was like saying that like untruthfully, in any way. So I wasn't sure if he was just supposed to-- yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah, he seems like very much in support of WindClan, which I didn't expect.

PAZ: Yeah, it's just odd. Like, I don't know, I guess because he really only cares about his ambitions so far.

JULIAN: Yeah, I guess it also helps-- like if he is publicly backing up Bluestar, that kind of helps him solidify his position with her.

PAZ: That could be it, but just like it wasn't written in the way to make that like clear that that was his goal. So I was like, is he being genuine? I don't know. It's interesting.

JULIAN: Yeah, no, that's me just like, coming up with possible evil motivations for that. He might just be pro WindClan.

PAZ: Wow, I have something in common with Tigerclaw finally.

LIZ: Yeah, the introduction of having like that in common with Bluestar and Fireheart is like, I think it's really interesting because like, oh, no, now what do I do? It's like that Lord Of the Rings meme, right, with the I can't believe I'm whatever. I don't know. I've seen Lord of the Rings once.

PAZ: Fighting side by side with a dwarf. Fighting side by side with an elf. Yeah.

LIZ: Except still evil at some point, right? Mm.

PAZ: Yeah. Yeah, it was interesting. I am curious to see his attitude towards WindClan down the road, I guess. Like where is that coming from?

JULIAN: And he like, when they go to prep for their their secret mission, he's very supportive, and trying give them advice. Which I kind of expected him to use this as an opportunity to try to bump off Fireheart but.

LIZ: He loves to do that.

JULIAN: I guess it would be too suspicious.

PAZ: Yeah, I mean, like, maybe he's hoping that but it didn't seem like that.

JULIAN: Yeah, I don't think he has it in for Fireheart at this point.

PAZ: Not at the moment.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: Cause he was like, make sure to avoid Nightpelt and stuff like that. I guess if he really wanted Fireheart killed, he would have sent them directly towards Nightpelt. I don't know.

JULIAN: Or just been like, oh, make sure that you like walk on the Thunderpath. Disguise your scent.

PAZ: Oh, God.

JULIAN: Maybe you can take a shortcut through snake hell.

PAZ: I do hope we get to see more comical Tigerclaw like trying to murder someone publicly.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: It was very funny last book.

JULIAN: It was very like Tom and Jerry, like cartoonishly large hammer.

LIZ: Tom v. Tom. I do like the conflict, I guess, like inner conflict that it brings up in Fireheart. Because like, he's using his brain, which is still so novel to me, that I'm like, whenever it happens, I'm just like, yes, do it. I know you can do it. I believe in you.

PAZ: He's learning. He's growing stronger as a warrior.

LIZ: I guess it also gives, like, some reasoning as to why Bluestar is giving any shit about like, keeping him where he is. Like, if, if he's, you know, like agreeing and making things or like taking her side and stuff. Like you guys said, it's like a good political thing.

PAZ: Yeah, I mean, Bluestar always seems to like-- her reason for supporting him always seems to come back to like, he's very helpful to the clan and like, supportive of the clan. And that's why everyone likes him, question mark? So getting in the good graces.

JULIAN: I did really like the last line of the third chapter.

PAZ: Oh, I think I remember.

JULIAN: "As he raced through the tunnel, Fireheart heard the ferns rustling in the morning breeze. They seem to be whispering, 'Good luck! Travel safely.'" Which I thought was just really nice.

LIZ: That's very sweet.

PAZ: Yeah, that was just a nice little like good vibes moment.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: Also sets up the journey to be like, kind of exciting.

LIZ: It's kind of like an old fashioned way of writing like, adventure nature stuff, which I liked.

JULIAN: Yeah, it feels very, like kids adventure novel. I mean, this is a kids adventure novel, but like that very particular genre of like E. Nesbitt.

LIZ: Yeah, if this was a book about like Fireheart being a little teeny cat with like, pants and a shirt and like a knapsack full of bread or something.

PAZ: Wow.

LIZ: And a sword. This is what it would also be like.

PAZ: Picturing it.

JULIAN: Yep. It's just our podcast art, but with an orange cat instead of a gray one. Ideal.

LIZ: While we're in this section, I want to draw attention to something Graystripe says, which is he calls Fireheart "slow slug," which adorable.

PAZ: Graystripe has some really good like, sayings.

JULIAN: Yeah, why wasn't that on our list of cat insults?

PAZ: I don't know.

LIZ: We should be keeping that. Just keep it updated for reference.

JULIAN: Open up a wiki page. Just kidding. The Warriors wiki team is very, uh, strict.

PAZ: They seem... I don't want to get on their bad side. They'll send like a hit squad out for us.

JULIAN: The power of a team that can organize a wiki of that size that well is very frightening to me.

PAZ: Yes. I do gotta say, though, Bluestar, why are you sending out like the two youngest warriors on this important mission?

LIZ: Bluestar's brains this book are just gone.

JULIAN: She's like, Oh, it's because the other warriors have to hunt. And it's like, you don't want to send your like seasoned warriors who might have some political savvy out to handle the bringing back the clan that was driven from their home job?

PAZ: Yeah, they're essentially going as like diplomats, like diplomats and rescue team. Like you'd think you would send someone who's a good like representation of your clan out.

JULIAN: Like send Whitestorm.

PAZ: Right?

LIZ: Yeah, he's great.

JULIAN: Not these two apprentices who-- Fireheart has never met WindClan. And Graystripe like, is--

LIZ: A centrist.

JULIAN: --has only [laughs] yeah. He's a centrist. And also, he's only been known to WindClan as like a child. So I don't think that this like traumatized clan is going to want to go with them.

PAZ: Right? It's so weird.

LIZ: I think like the reason the book gives is like, oh, you guys are the only ones who know what WindClan smells like right now. And that's also easily something-- you don't have to send both of them. Just send one of them and like, an adult.

PAZ: Yeah. Well, I'm not sure about that one, Bluestar. But okay.

JULIAN: Well, Fireheart will have to use his protagonist aura.

PAZ: Yeah. Maybe she was counting on that.

LIZ: Bluestar has such a serious case of like, dumb for the plot. It's so...

PAZ: Right?

LIZ: The crime against the girlbossiest of girlbosses. I don't know.

PAZ: How could they do this? Yeah, I mean, but that's kind of the end of that reading section. Just they're going out on their journey. I do have to say, I wish Fireheart would realize he was having like prophetic dreams. He was like, well, the other ones were prophetic, but this one isn't, probably. It's fine.

JULIAN: I'm sure this one is fine and normal.

LIZ: You know, it's okay that he's still so dumb. Because if he got smart, like, all at once, it would just be too much of a character shift. This feels good and familiar.

JULIAN: Yeah. Yeah. I also think like, if I had like, a couple of prophetic dreams, and then had a dream that like, seemed just sort of like bad vibes, I would be like, Oh, I don't want this dream to be prophetic. So I'm gonna decide that it's not

PAZ: Yeah, that was kind of what he did. And he was also like, I don't want Tigerclaw to like, get on my case about this. So, um, it was probably fine. I'll just go back to sleep.

LIZ: It's procrastination if you're like a prophet.

PAZ: StarClan is like sending these down, like, hello? Hello? Open your texts.

LIZ: These are StarClan emails.

JULIAN: Fireheart's 5000 unopened emails.

LIZ: Dear Fireheart, hope you're well. Was just wanting to check up on the last email that I sent you. Have you had a chance to look at it? Please let me know as soon as you can. Regards, StarClan.

JULIAN: Graystripe, meanwhile, over here at inbox zero.

LIZ: StarClan voice, per my last email.

JULIAN: Purr my last email? Sorry.

LIZ: Ooh. Well done. [claps]

PAZ: The dreams are very like sad though.

JULIAN: Yeah. Why can't he have a good prophetic dream?

PAZ: Prophetic dream that he'll catch a big rabbit tomorrow. I don't know. I don't know what would be a good cat dream.

JULIAN: I guess his dreams when he was a kittypet, those prophetic dreams were good dreams. He got to catch a mouse.

LIZ: Prophetic dream about being able to eat cheese for the first time because he gets invited to Ravenpaw and Barley's wedding on the farm, and the farmers have left some cheese out as a wedding gift.

PAZ: Wow.

JULIAN: Wow. He can't have too much, though. It'll upset his little tummy.

PAZ: Well, just a little nibble.

LIZ: Just a little, just a little.

PAZ: As a treat. Well, I'm excited to for next reading.

JULIAN: Yeah, I think we're gonna have some good journey content.

PAZ: Yeah, I love when the cats go places, you know?

JULIAN: It's good.

PAZ: Cats on the move. I mean, does that end our little reading section?

JULIAN: Yeah, I think we covered it.

LIZ: Yeah. Though I am looking at my bookmark, which talks about Dappletail again. And it calls it, "the once-beautiful queen Dappletail spoke up in a voice cracked with age."

PAZ: Just Grizabella.

JULIAN: This is just...

PAZ: She's gonna start belting out Memory any second now.

JULIAN: I started to, like, trying to remember the tune so I could sing it, or like part of it, but all I could remember was Agony from Into the Woods. (singing to the tune of "Agony") Memory. Uh, Anyway.

PAZ: Anyway, let's move on to our next thing. I was thinking we could click around MIT Scratch Warriors community.

JULIAN: Hell yes.

PAZ: Which we were introduced to last episode. There is truly so much here. I don't understand it.

[meow]

LIZ: What is...

JULIAN: Oh, this is delightful.

LIZ: What is MIT Scratch really?

PAZ: I don't know. Let me go look at their about.

JULIAN: So yeah, so Blue said it was like a-- it's like a site for kids to kind of learn how to code. So it's, you know, like, this is how you put together an animation, or like a program, or like a little game. But you don't have to actually write the code. You just learn how to kind of do if/then types of things and dependencies and that sort of thing.

LIZ: That's sweet.

PAZ: But it's extremely funny that a Warriors community has made itself at home here.

LIZ: I think that just... it feels natural.

JULIAN: Yeah. Oh, there's a bunch of remixes of this Make a Clan link. Or no, there's just one.

PAZ: Where is... Oh God. Oh, God. I can't see anything. Oh, mm? Aah.

JULIAN: Oh. Hello? I'm gonna make this full screen.

PAZ: Oh, that might help things. I didn't-- no. That didn't really help things. We're looking at a game--

JULIAN: This cat is talking to me, but I can't--

PAZ: We're looking at a game called Make a Clan. There is a cat talking to us but it is covered by a bajillion windows.

JULIAN: How do I hide these?

PAZ: I don't know. I don't think we can.

LIZ: Don't be a coward. Click in all of that.

PAZ: Oh, I think the cat's saying, What's your clans name? Well, CrabClan. If I type it in, will it accept it? Okay, yes, it accepted it. What's your leaders name? It was--

LIZ: Alix.

PAZ: Larkstar and-- was it, no. What'd you end up, Julian?

JULIAN: Oh, I don't remember. I think I stuck with Pinestar, maybe? Pine, whatever the fuck. Pinestripe.

PAZ: Pinestar. There we go. Oh, I think I filled it out wrong. Oh no. Aw.

LIZ: Well then, we can't make a clan.

PAZ: I don't know about this one, guys.

LIZ: We got booted.

JULIAN: Oh, yeah, I've put it in as the clan name. Whoops.

PAZ: Well.

JULIAN: Yeah, we might have to pick another one. Oh, I'm gonna-- let's see.

PAZ: Do we want to check out this one that I found? A Day in the Life of a Clan Leader.

JULIAN: Yeah, let's do this.

PAZ: I'm loving the music.

JULIAN: Oh, there are instructions. The game is unfinished.

PAZ: Oh god, the music just changed.

LIZ: Oh god, it's so loud.

JULIAN: "To pick your cat, just click on it. To move, use the right or left arrow keys. To travel around, click the entrance of the place you want to go. To hunt the mouse, just click on it." This is very interactive.

PAZ: So we got FireClan, CloudClan, and LeafClan to choose from. Who are we gonna choose?

JULIAN: Oh god, it's so loud.

LIZ: It's very loud. Hey, if you click right and left, you can make the cat dance.

PAZ: We gotta choose our cat. Which clan are we gonna choose?

JULIAN: I vote LeafClan.

LIZ: Me too.

PAZ: Yeah, I'm feeling that. That's Willowstar.

JULIAN: Willowstar has a little diamond in the center of their forehead, which I think is great.

PAZ: Willowstar is like gray and white.

JULIAN: Our other options are Dapplestar, who has a little star, and then Ashstar, who has emo bangs.

PAZ: So it kind of puts your cat in this scene. And you kind of just click places. Oh. So I just clicked into the medicat. Lovely array of like herbs and stuff here. Let's see. Let's see what's up. "The Gathering is tonight. Get ready." Okay. Oh my god. If you press space, they meow.

JULIAN: Aw.

PAZ: I don't know if I can leave this conversat-- okay, yeah, they just go back outside.

JULIAN: Uh-oh. I moved too far to the left.

PAZ: Camp exit. Okay, we're out of the camp. Willowstar? I already can't remember. "I must find prey for my clan. Click the rock to start." Okay, I'm clicking the rock.

LIZ: The medic area looks like it just has cookies.

PAZ: Might have hit a dead end here.

JULIAN: Those are the strongest potions. Yeah, I can't click the rock.

PAZ: Well, that's a day in the life of a leader.

LIZ: Wow. I like the meow function.

PAZ: Yeah, the meow function is great. I think all games should implement that. I have found Warrior Cats Text Adventure.

JULIAN: Oh, that might be a little bit easier.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Let's do that one.

PAZ: Let's try this one out.

LIZ: Hey, should we screenshare this?

PAZ: Oh yeah, I guess I'll just do that.

LIZ: First screen shared podcast.

PAZ: Okay, we seem to be starting in media res here.

JULIAN: Uh-oh. Try hitting stop and then the green flag again. The stop button up at the top. Oh, there you go. We've started at the beginning.

PAZ: Choose your clan. RiverClan. Oh, they got stats. Oh.

LIZ: Ooh.

JULIAN: Oh shit.

PAZ: RiverClan stats. No, this is WindClan, sorry.

JULIAN: No, that's WindClan.

PAZ: WindClan stats. Speed, 10. Strength, 2. Smarts, 5. Stealth, 5. Swim, 2.

LIZ: Actually, it's stregth.

PAZ: Oh sorry. Stregth.

JULIAN: Stregth.

PAZ: Yes. Oh, that's a special stat that only WindClan has, cause RiverClan just has strength. No, wait.

JULIAN: No, they also have stregth.

PAZ: Wow, you're right. They all have stregth. Stregth. Well, okay. Hey, I have issues with these stats. RiverClan has speed 2, stregth 10, smarts 10, stealth five, swim 10. I think RiverClan's a little OP here.

JULIAN: RiverClan seems kind of OP.

LIZ: Looks like someone has favorites. Hmm.

JULIAN: Can we see what ThunderClan's smart status is? Yeah, that seems about right.

PAZ: Yeah, so ThunderClan's stats are speed 5, stregth 8, smart 5, stealth 5, swim 2.

LIZ: I think smart should be less.

JULIAN: Yeah, I would give them a 2.

PAZ: I would give WindClan more smarts honestly.

LIZ: Yeah, they're like surviving. They've got this.

PAZ: So ShadowClan's stats are speed 5, stregth 8, speed 5, stealth 10, swim 2.

LIZ: Okay, one, I think any clan that isn't RiverClan should have swim 0.

PAZ: That's true. They all have swim 2 except RiverClan. Well, I don't want to choose RiverClan on the basis that they're OP.

JULIAN: I think we should go WindClan.

PAZ: I agree. We're gonna celebrate them this book.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: "Clan leader: Well, well, well, it seems we have received a new warrior. I name you." I think it has given me one. I don't know if I can change it.

JULIAN: Our autogenerated name is Timberburr.

PAZ: I'll take it, you know? Gotta respect what the leader says. "Press space to begin your adventure." Does somebody want to...

JULIAN: Sure.

PAZ: --be this cat.

JULIAN: "Greetings, new warrior. Would you like to join me on a hunting patrol?" This is Stormclaw.

PAZ: That's so...

LIZ: What happens if you say no?

PAZ: Yes or no. Do we want to say no?

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: I want to say no. "That's fine. I'll go with some other cat."

PAZ: "He walks away. A second warrior pads over." Wanna do that, Liz?

LIZ: Oh, I can do it. Clawstrike says, "if you aren't going on patrol, you might as well make yourself useful. The elders need new bedding. The apprentices brough the new moss in, but you can clear away the old moss."

PAZ: "In the elders den, an elder peers at you."

JULIAN: (creakily) "Thank you for doing this."

PAZ: "A second spots you and begins mewing rapidly."

LIZ: Okay. (high-pitched and wavery) "Finally. Young cats these days. That reminds me of when I was young. There was this fox, see, attacking the clans, and I knew that it needed to learn a blah blah blah blah blah."

[laughing]

PAZ: "You finish long before the story is done and exit the den."

JULIAN: This is so rude.

LIZ: I wanna hear about the fox.

PAZ: "The next day... as you stand in camp, you hear something. Before you can move, an enemy clan invades your camp. You find yourself face to face with a snarling enemy cat. You must perform a move against your enemy."

JULIAN: Oh shit.

PAZ: So we can either leap and hold, front paw blow, upright lock, or a tail yank.

LIZ: Tail yank.

JULIAN: I vote tail yank.

PAZ: Okay. Oh god. "You grab your enemy's tail in your teeth and yank, but her twists and slices your chest."

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: Our health has dropped from 20 to 16.

PAZ: Oh God.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: Oh shit.

LIZ: We died?

PAZ: We Dark Souls died. "Just then, the order sounds for your clan to retreat. Clan leader: we are defeated." Huge letters. "You lose."

LIZ: We died.

JULIAN: Well, that was quick.

PAZ: Um, well, Warriors games are unforgiving, apparently.

LIZ: Should we replay with better stats?

PAZ: Okay. Do we wanna stay true to our allegiances or go be OP?

LIZ: Let's be OP.

PAZ: Okay, fine. We'll cave to this author's favoritism and be RiverClan. Oh my god.

LIZ: What?

JULIAN: Oh no, we're Ashfur.

LIZ: Wait a minute. Hold on.

PAZ: Ashfur really is like the John of Warriors names.

LIZ: Ashfur, parentheses, no relation.

PAZ: Well, we're Ashfur. Okay. Here we go.

JULIAN: Oh, it's the same warrior.

LIZ: Stormclaw, no relation.

JULIAN: Stormclaw would like us to join him on a sun hunting patrol. Again.

PAZ: Should we say yes this time maybe?

JULIAN: Yeah, let's see what it's like.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: "You walk out of camp. In the hunting grounds of your clan."

JULIAN: (bombastically) "I smell mouse. How about you catch it for your first catch as a warrior?"

LIZ: "Moss says, squeak."

PAZ: No, it's "squeaks softly."

LIZ: Oh, excuse me. (whispering) Squeaks softly.

PAZ: What's our stealth? Not very good. Our speed's not very good. Maybe we should pounce. We're very strong.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: We can pounce, stalk, or chase, and I think pounce is probably...

PAZ: "When you pounce, the mouse does not notice until too late. With a powerful leap, you catch it and swiftly nip its neck."

JULIAN: (cheerfully) "Wow. Nice catch. That was a great pounce."

PAZ: "His voice is muffled by the feathers of a thrush he caught."

JULIAN: [garbled speech]

PAZ: "You walk back to camp."

LIZ: Which is, by the way, in capital letters.

PAZ: "In your clan's camp. The clan leader says."

LIZ: "Impressive. Good job, both of you."

PAZ: "She nods at you and Stormclaw before vanishing into her den."

JULIAN: "It was fun hunting with you. Now I'll go ask if I'm wanted on moonhigh patrol. If not, I going straight to sleep."

PAZ: "He walks away."

LIZ: This guy is an NPC.

PAZ: He talks like an Oblivion NPC.

LIZ: "I'm going straight to sleep."

JULIAN: What is the difference between this and Oblivion, really?

PAZ: Yeah. I think Bethesda might have ripped some of this off.

LIZ: Mm, maybe you're onto something.

PAZ: "The next day." We're in battle again. "As you stand in the camp, you hear something. Before you can move, an enemy clan invades your camp. You must perform a move against your enemy."

LIZ: What if this was timed?

PAZ: Oh god. Okay, so we're very strong.

JULIAN: I think either leap and hold or front paw blow might be our best bets with strength.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Front paw blow seems good.

LIZ: Yeah, one shot, one kill.

JULIAN: Yeah, let's just fucking punch em.

PAZ: "You slam your paw down on the enemy warrior's head. He hisses but is dazed for a heartbeat. You rake your claws down his chest and he backs away, growling. Just then the order sounds for the other clan to retreat. Your enemy bares his teeth at you and flees alongside his clanmates."

LIZ: Clan leader says, "we have won this battle. All the cats are to go and have their wounds, if they have any, treated by our medicine cat."

PAZ: "The medicine cat pads over and checks your pelt for injuries.

JULIAN: "I can't see or scent any injuries. But I'm out of goldenrod. Could you go gather me some?"

PAZ: We can say yes or no. I feel like saying no last time really fucked us up, maybe. I'll say yes.

LIZ: Yeah. "Thank you."

PAZ: "Outside camp, you search for the herbs and come across three places to check. You know that goldenrod does not grow in marshes." So we can either check ferns, under brambles, or in marsh.

JULIAN: I kinda wanna check in the marsh.

PAZ: Okay.

LIZ: That 10 smart is not accurate.

PAZ: "You pad into the marsh. The mud is thick and wet and you sink a tail length deep."

LIZ: Holy shit.

PAZ: "The mud covers your legs and belly and you struggle to get out. No sign of goldenrod, and now you're stuck." So we can either call for help or pull out. We're very strong.

JULIAN: We are very strong.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: This'll be fine. We're gonna pull out.

LIZ: We're fine.

PAZ: "You try and pull yourself out. The mud clings to your fur, but you manage to get out. You walk back to camp."

LIZ: No consequences for our bad decision?

PAZ: No, I guess not.

JULIAN: I feel like we should have lost some health for like being cold and wet.

LIZ: Probably stinky, too. Oh, it's me. "Clan leader says, let all cats old enough to swim gather for a clan meeting." Oh boy. That was me. The oh boy is not canon. "One of our kits is ready to become an apprentice. Step forward, young one."

PAZ: "A kit scurries forward."

LIZ: (laughing) "From this moment on, you shall be known as Snailpaw."

PAZ: Just to be clear, Snailpaw is also an auto generated name. "The leader fixes her gaze on you."

LIZ: "You shall mentor this cat."

PAZ: "Your apprentice touches noses with you, looking excited."

JULIAN: (chirpily) "I'm gonna be the best warrior in the clan with you as a mentor."

LIZ: I got confused. They were both green text.

PAZ: "What will you do with your apprentice? Hunt. Battle train. Gather moss." This is such a tiny baby. I don't wanna battle train.

JULIAN: Right.

PAZ: They're too small.

LIZ: But I want to seem cool in front of my student. I don't think moss is gonna do it. Let's hunt.

PAZ: Maybe we should hunt, then.

JULIAN: We already hunted though.

PAZ: Well, these cats hunt every day.

LIZ: What if the baby gets hungry? Do we want to gather moss?

PAZ: Let's go hunt.

LIZ: Alright.

PAZ: "You take your apprentice to your clan's hunting grounds."

JULIAN: (high-pitched) "I smell bird."

PAZ: "You teach them the proper bird hunting technique and they begin to stalk a small finch." We can either help your apprentice or let them do it. I'm happy to help our young apprentice, Snailpaw.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: I feel like as the apprentice, I can't chime in.

LIZ: Let's help.

PAZ: This is their first day. Let's help.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: "The apprentice luges at the bird. And it flutters towards you. You catch and kill it."

JULIAN: (high-pitched) "That was fun. We make a great team."

PAZ: Aw.

LIZ: Aw.

PAZ: "You go back to camp, for the sun is setting."

LIZ: Oh, the prey count also is 2. We did it.

JULIAN: Oh yay.

LIZ: "Clan leader says, oh good, you're back. You had better get some sleep. Now."

JULIAN: (high-pitched) "Thank you for the training."

PAZ: "Your apprentice pads into the apprentices' den and you go to the warriors' den to get some sleep. The next day, the deputy pads over to you."

LIZ: Who wants to do the cowboy voice for this? It can't me.

JULIAN: (laughing) I can do it. [clears throat] (in a very bad Southern accent) "I want you to go on a border patrol by the river with several other warriors." I don't know what happened there.

PAZ: It was perfect.

"At the river."

LIZ: Oh.

JULIAN: Who the fuck is Darkflight?

LIZ: I don't know. "Darkflight says, we should spread out."

PAZ: "Each warrior pads to a different area. You hear a small wail and sight two kits from a different clan floundering weakly in the river." We either help them or leave them.

LIZ: That's a real Bioshock choice there.

JULIAN: Well, help them of course.

PAZ: Yeah, our swim is 10. We're fucking going in there. "You spring into the river to save the kits. Being RiverClan, you swim quickly and nimbly, and are able to reach the kits in time. You haul them out of the river and manage to save them. A patrol from the kits' clan arrives, thanks you, and takes the kits back. Your patrol gapes at you, but you pad back to the camp in silence."

JULIAN: What the fuck is wrong with our patrol?

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Yeah, I can't-- is that like, judgment? You want them to just die? Jesus.

LIZ: Maybe it's um, gaping at us because we swim so good because we have 10 swim.

PAZ: Yeah, it better be in like awe. Oh my god. We won.

LIZ: Holy shit.

PAZ: We won.

JULIAN: We did it.

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: "In camp."

LIZ: "Darkflight says, I'll report back to our leader."

PAZ: "She pads away. The clan leader soon approaches you."

LIZ: Clan leader, who sounds exactly the same, says, "By saving those kits, you have averted war between our clans. May StarClan honor you."

PAZ: "You win" and then there's a little fun animatic of the title, like the Warriors title, pixelating in and out. Wow.

LIZ: I can't believe we did it. Woo.

JULIAN: Incredible, we did it.

PAZ: We did it, guys.

JULIAN: We won at-- we were the best at being a cat.

LIZ: Game of the year. That's all I ever wanted.

PAZ: Because we were incredibly OP.

JULIAN: I think that was it. It's just that we were RiverClan.

LIZ: Yeah, if we hadn't had that 10 swim.

PAZ: Yeah, I feel like this game seems extremely biased towards RiverClan. I don't agree with that. I don't know. That's pretty good.

JULIAN: Yeah, I think that was good.

PAZ: I'm happy to end there on our victory.

LIZ: Yeah. We've got lots of time for more gaming next time.

JULIAN: Right.

PAZ: Exactly.

JULIAN: There's a whole universe here on MIT Scratch.

PAZ: There's so many games. How many-- will it show me a page count? No, it will not show me a page count. Or how many there are. But I assure you, there are a lot.

LIZ: Who needs--

JULIAN: Well, we'll have to link that one in the...

PAZ: Yes.

JULIAN: On the Twitter so that the audience can see if they have any more success as ThunderClan or ShadowClan.

PAZ: Yeah. Um, yeah, I mean, I guess that's gonna do it for us today. Gonna keep going at it with Fire and Ice next week. As always, you can find the show @staircast on Twitter and send in any questions or anecdotes you want to share to stairwaytostarclan@gmail.com. And next week, we'll be reading chapters four through seven. So if you're reading along, that's where we'll be at. And until then, may StarClan light your path. Bye.

JULIAN: Bye.

LIZ: Bye.

[outro music]

[onestowatch]

Hollyy Starts 2021 With Soulful Double-Side Single Release

Retro-soul band Hollyy have hit the ground running in 2021 by dropping not one but two new soulful and summery singles. Inspired by the vocals of Sam Cooke and the instrumentation of Wilco and Whitney, this double-sided follow-up to their debut EP, Miss the Feeling, serves as a harmonious and sentimental preview of what fans can expect from the Chicago natives.

Ones To Watch was able to talk with the band about their latest singles and what their plans are for the foreseeable, hopefully pandemic-less, future.

Ones to Watch: How has your perspective on your music changed since the release of the Miss the Feeling EP?

Tanner: I don't think too much has changed from a music perspective, to be honest. But I can tell you that back in September, we were hopeful that by Summer 2021, we would be living a normal gig and tour-filled life. That glimmer of optimism has since faded more and more into the realistic likelihood that it will not happen. Other than that, we've been working even harder at recording, writing, and producing our debut full-length. We're also busy enhancing our studios and gear as well so we can plan virtual shows to wrap up the winter and spring.

Brandon: We've been writing a lot over the last year, and the pandemic has informed my perspective. It's maybe not a giant shift, but I certainly find myself trying to be more honest about my emotions or the events that are shaping my life.

You guys started 2021 full speed ahead with not one but TWO singles coming out on Feb. 19. What made you all want to release a double side, and why these singles?

Tanner: Double-side records have an interesting history in Funk and R&B record labels in the 60s and 70s. We think it's a cool concept to keep alive as it's mostly gone away in the last couple of decades. And then, especially with our musical influences being so deeply rooted in these genres and funk/soul/r&b artists, we love doing anything we can to pay respect and honor traditions. "Hesitate" and "Sailing" didn't make it on to our 2020 EP, but we felt they melded very nicely together and complete a satisfactory double-side record.

Brandon: Yeah, "Hesitate" and "Sailing" were written and recorded before the pandemic, and we had to stop our usual routine. They compliment each other well and make a good bridge between our 2020 EP and what we've been working on over the last year.

What are y'all's plans for future releases? (Unless it's a secret, of course, and you want to surprise your fans.)

Tanner: We're forever recording new music! Eyes are still on the prize for doing a full-length album, but especially with where we're at with live music. Almost everything gets continuously placed on hold, and there are a lot of release ideas to consider. Singles, double-sides, videos, virtual performances, all of this comes into consideration right now, and we're also in the works on everything just laid out. It's a busy winter and spring, but it's fun!

Brandon: We've been busy writing and recording, and there's still a lot of work we need to do, but I'm excited for people to hear what we've been working on.

Fans recently had the chance to see you play a live studio session with Audiotree. How did all of you feel leading up to the stream? Were you nervous, and if so, what did you do to stay centered and show ready?

Tanner: Playing an Audiotree session has always been a dream, especially being a band from Chicago, so I guess there was a tad bit of added pressure, but overall it just felt so good to unleash and play an energetic live set. It was exciting to get into a rehearsal schedule again leading up to the set since we haven't consistently been able to do that much over the past year. In terms of dealing with nerves in our band, we pick up each other when we recognize someone is nervous or anxious before a performance. We try to keep things light and make sure that at the end of the day, we're all having fun!

Brandon: I was nervous! It's been a while since we were able to play together, and I felt the pressure of putting on an excellent performance after months of not being able to practice.

Do you feel more or less able to be vulnerable nowadays?

Brandon: I've been trying to open up more this last year and broaden my perspective on the world and what matters to me. I've always been very introspective, but lately, I've been trying to understand different perspectives and how I can relate.

Pete: I think a sense of vulnerability comes and goes. The everyday drudgery of bad news sometimes gets to me, and I sort of go numb for a week or a two just trying to process everything. Usually, it's new music or a good movie that brings me back down to earth and helps me feel more human.

What are the best parts/worst parts of your day?

Tanner: *laughs* Reading the news for sure.

Brandon: Honestly, the days have just been blending together for a while. Meeting a few days a week, even if it's online, to work on new music or the next project has kept me sane and focused.

Pete: The best part is usually finally being able to focus on music in some way, shape or form, pretty much the only thing to look forward to, haha.

I saw recently on the band's Instagram that Pete recently refreshed the "Songs For Hollyy" playlist on your Spotify artist page! In your opinion, what makes a great playlist, and which song on it is your favorite?

Tanner: We certainly don't refresh that playlist as much as we bounce new songs and suggestions over to each other on text or Slack, but these playlists are fun because they usually really are reflective of who our most recent inspirations are.

Pete: I know many people get wrapped up in playlist making like artists making a setlist, but for me, playlists are more like a record of the time they were created. Mostly they're songs that stick out to me and grab me in the moment, but I find in retrospect that usually those songs were indicative of the mood I was in and what was going on in my life.

"Hesitate," produced with the help of Nixon Boyd (Royal Mountain Records & Hollerado), and "Sailing," are now both available for streaming and with a 45 vinyl in the works!

[hope-for-olicity]

Fabulous Olicity Fanfic Friday - October 20th, 2017

Happy Friday! So this is my attempt to both thank awesome fanfic writers for their amazing work and offer my recommendations to anyone who is interested. Here are the fantastic fanfic stories I read this week! They are posted in the order I read them.

The Life They Knew multi-chapter by @bytemegeekette - AU - Olicity - Felicity loved watching the happy life that her best friend had built for herself. Oliver watched his best friend reach every milestone he himself feared. An unexpected tragedy thrusts their lives together in a way neither could imagine. Could they over come their hate for each other to help fulfill the last wishes of their best friends. Loosely inspired by the movie 'Life as We Know It http://archiveofourown.org/works/4944559/chapters/11349703

May I Be Your Shield multi-chapter by @aussieforgood and @ghostfoxlovely - She could always tell him about her day. She could always tell him anything. Except she didn’t. The woman closest to him was keeping the biggest secret of all; a dark secret, a dangerous secret. Felicity Smoak is not safe, that much is true, but whether Oliver can save her from that is another matter. Sooner or later, we find out exactly how far we’ll go to protect the person we love most. http://archiveofourown.org/works/5721514/chapters/13182745

Time for a Story multi-chapter by @smkkbert - This fic shows Olicity and their life as a (married) couple with family. Although Olicity (and their kids) are the protagonists, other characters of Arrow and Flash make appearances. YOU NEED THIS STORY IN YOUR LIFE. http://archiveofourown.org/works/3912157/chapters/8757172

Waiting by the Phone by @felicityollies - Oliver and Felicity have taken to having phone calls every night before bed. Some of them are steamier than others. https://archiveofourown.org/works/12351333

6x01 Post Episode Fic by @anthfan - What takes places right after the credits roll, Part 1: http://anthfan.tumblr.com/post/166373524542/6x01-post-ep-fic and Part 2: http://anthfan.tumblr.com/post/166569312432/post-6x01-fic-part-2

If Loving You Is Wrong (I Don't Want To Be Right) multi-chapter by @smkkbert - They live in a society where the Ministry for Procreation decides who you get to marry. Once you get the letter with the contact details of your partner, you are supposed to marry within few months. Sexual relationships with any other partner are forbidden, even before you receive the contact details. Everyone who disobeys that law will be punished brutally.  Oliver and Nyssa have come to terms with that. Although they are married, Nyssa can secretly be with Sara, and Oliver can do whatever he wants to do. When Oliver decides to make changes, he falls madly in love with Felicity. Therefore, his life takes a pleasant turn because although they cannot publicly be together, at least they can be in secret. Things soon get complicated, though, when Felicity receives a letter that shall change her life. http://archiveofourown.org/works/11847900/chapters/26747613

Trust Me multi-chapter by @felicityollies - When a prostitute meets the perfect client, she has to remind herself that there’s no room for getting close to someone in her line of work. http://archiveofourown.org/works/8487226/chapters/22503983

Dear Hopeless by @wherethereissmoak - Through letters, Oliver and Felicity have a connection before they ever officially meet. This was written for ME! I'm beyond flattered!! IT IS A MUST READ!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/12369144

Zip by @someonesaidcake - Her dress has a zip. A zip that goes all....the....way....down. Set just before 6x01. That purple dress is stunning, gorgeous and Oliver has seen it before....https://archiveofourown.org/works/12370095

Finding Felicity by @lynn8828 - Because I still need to see this on the show…. 6x01 didn’t show us Oliver finding Felicity on Lian Yu and I was really looking forward to it. https://lynn8828.tumblr.com/post/166439559401/finding-felicity-because-i-still-need-to-see-this

(Don't) Let Me Go multi-chapter by @emmilynestill - Felicity told him to let her go, but even when Oliver tried, it didn’t seem to be something he was capable of. In the end, there would be nothing in the world Felicity was more grateful for. Weaving in and out of the final four episodes of Season 5 and beyond, follow Oliver and Felicity’s emotional journey back to one another, one step at a time. http://archiveofourown.org/works/11591223/chapters/26051715

I Just Need to Hear Your Voice by @alanna-the-lionheart - Coda to 6x01 (takes place at some point in the near future). In an attempt to slowly rebuild their relationship without complicating William’s life, Oliver and Felicity get in the habit of calling each other every night. Sometimes they watch TV together. Sometimes they discuss Team Arrow business. Most nights they just talk about their days. But then sometimes the nightmares come...and all they really want is to hear the other’s voice. This is one of those nights. http://archiveofourown.org/works/12368517

Our Version of Events multi-chapter by @machawicket and @geneeste - Action star Ollie Queen is trying to clean up his image and land parts that require him to do more than appear shirtless while fighting stuntmen. Pop star Felicity Smoak wants to be seen as an adult in time for the release of her new, grittier album. And talent manager John Diggle’s got an idea about what coverage of Oliver and Felicity’s brand new (and totally fake) romance could do for them both. http://archiveofourown.org/works/8025382/chapters/18375349

Little Flowers of Eloquence multi-chapter by @dettiot - After two bad relationships, Felicity Smoak has accepted that she’s not physically attractive to men.  That doesn’t mean her life isn’t good, but her friends make her realize that something is missing.  Something that might be fixed if she gives a chance to a certain newly-back-from-the-dead ex-playboy . . .https://archiveofourown.org/works/5783689/chapters/13329190

Why Don't Men Ever Listen? by @writewithurheart - AU Felicity tells Sara about an encounter with Ray Palmer and her Mystery Man. http://writewithurheart.tumblr.com/post/166452289044/birthday-prompt-why-dont-men-ever-listen

Between Love and Skate multi-chapter by @dettiot - After an injury ends his chances for a career in professional hockey, Oliver Queen doesn’t know what he’s going to do.  And then he gets an offer to become a figure skater and partner with a beautiful, babbling blonde skater: Felicity Smoak.  With a gold medal at the Olympics on the line, can love stick its landing? http://archiveofourown.org/works/3343235/chapters/7313252

Pieces of Always multi-chapter by @so-caffeinated and @dust2dust34 - Life continues after Forever is Composed of Nows. Ongoing non-linear collection of family moments for the Queens. http://archiveofourown.org/works/8220479/chapters/18840356

Radiate or Drain by @turtlejustice - Post 5x17 fic http://archiveofourown.org/works/12384441

Baby's First Salmon Ladder by @muslimsmoak - Little tommy queen inherited his father’s athleticism and that’s not a good thing. Especially when his mother felicity is trying to multitask managing the comms and watching her son in the bunker. http://archiveofourown.org/works/12382086

Shattered into Pieces multi-chapter by @diggo26 - Having to blow up the Foundry and last minute Oliver goes back in having forgot “something”…BUT it turned into a speculation/spoiler for 3x19 http://archiveofourown.org/works/3557969/chapters/7835702

South of the Equator multi-chapter by @charlinert -  A young teacher from Boston will do anything in her power to ensure that her upliftment project goes ahead, when the ground of a small farm school is threatened to be sold to a buyer who has no interest in her project. Oliver Queen, movie director of Queen Studios volunteers to do a documentary on upliftment work in a small farm town to put as much distance as possible between women, love and his broken heart. Oliver and Felicity’s paths cross 9000 miles from home, when their worlds come crashing in the heart of Southern Africa. http://archiveofourown.org/works/11568378/chapters/25990497

Pink on Green: Why do you keep her around? by @sssssssim - Oliver overhears Laurel being mean to Felicity and has had enough http://archiveofourown.org/works/1414105/chapters/3743612

Nightmare by @geneshaven - Felicity joins Oliver and William for the evening. https://geneshaven.tumblr.com/post/166518679404/nightmare

Better Together by @adiwriting - Oliver and Felicity attend a middle school dance http://adiwriting.tumblr.com/post/166519844071/fic-better-together

Thursday multi-chapter by @someonesaidcake - There is something about the girl next door that Oliver Queen is only now noticing... Felicity is moving to college just down the road from where Oliver is a senior.  He suddenly becomes very protective of the girl next door.  Thursday night dinners might not ever be the same again. This story gets better and better! http://archiveofourown.org/works/10688658/chapters/23670255

Blood Hands multi-chapter by @dust2dust34 - When new Bratva business comes to Starling City, it brings Oliver’s past with the brotherhood into sharp, ugly focus. But when it strikes too close to home, endangering the one person he never wanted that darkness to touch, he finds out his and Felicity’s pasts are more tangled than he could have ever imagined. (Set between 2x06 and 2x07) http://archiveofourown.org/works/3628926/chapters/8013672

Love and Little Cupcakes multi-chapter by @xtina-lynn - Felicity loved sweets so much that she paid no attention to her love life. Until Thea Queen came into her store wanting fabulous cupcakes for her sixteenth birthday. http://archiveofourown.org/works/12400539/chapters/28216053

On-Call for Christmas by LoisLane89 - Short Christmas fic I forgot I wrote a while back and just found. - Felicity is working the emergency call line of the QC IT Department and gets called to her boss's house. http://archiveofourown.org/works/12407439

First Impressions multi-chapter by @entersomethingcleverhere - Modern Pride and Prejudice AU: “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a young woman in possession of a great intellect must be in want of job that requires its use.” But Felicity Smoak seemed stuck in the quiet beach town of Hertfordshire forever. Will the handsome summer tourist and his snobby best friend save her from another season of boredom or will Oliver Queen’s stuck up attitude make Felicity want to strangle him before it’s even over? http://archiveofourown.org/works/6033276/chapters/13834785

What Might Happen by @dust2dust34 - 6x03 spoiler fic http://dust2dust34.tumblr.com/post/166557840799/what-might-happen-is-this-felicity-stared

It's Going Down in Ivy Town by @jsevick - NSFW, Oliver and Felicity have fun in an Ivy Town hotel room.http://jsevick.tumblr.com/post/166582904437/just-reread-some-of-your-fever-dreams-smut-and

Oliver's Journal: November 1st, 2017 by @geneshaven - post 6x03 spoiler fic https://geneshaven.tumblr.com/post/166586483544/olivers-journal

// @almondblossomme // @emmaamelia95 // @mel-loves-all // @oliverfel4 // @green-arrows-of-karamel // @coal000 // @miriam1779 // @memcjo// @captainolicitysbedroom // @tdgal1 // @spaztronautwriter // @lalawo1// @quiveringbunny // @quant-um-fizzx // @thebookjumper // @vaelisamaza // @myhauntedblacksoul // @lovelycssefan // @laurabelle2930 // @wrongshipper //

[wits-writing]

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Season 3 Ep 6: “Josh is Irrelevant” review

[My other Crazy Ex-Girlfriend reviews here]

Rebecca takes her first steps on the long road to recovery in this episode of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend as she gets a new diagnosis for her mental health and her friends try to be there for her in anyway they can after her suicide attempt. Meanwhile, Nathaniel deals with his family so he can sort out some trauma from his past.

[Full review under the cut]

“Josh Is Irrelevant” picks up with Rebecca back in West Covina in the hospital after her suicide attempt. Rebecca confides in Paula about what was going through her head at the time. She ran out of stories to tell herself and felt like she burned every bridge with her friends, so she did something to stop the pain. While she’s in recovery, one of the things she worries about is that what she’s done has inconvenienced her friends because of how they want to be there for her. Paula, Valencia and Heather all clearly want to be there for her in anyway they can. Some to an extreme extent, like Paula one again ignoring her family to be there for Rebecca as often as possible to the point of some boundary crossing. Heather let’s Hector, who she’s been on two dates with since the last time we saw them, come with her to the hospital to keep her company. Valencia is annoyed at Hector’s presence, but not as annoyed as both Heather and she are when Josh tries to see Rebecca. He’s been taken in by his own guilt complex and need to make amends for anything he feels he did wrong, not understanding that he doesn’t have to be involved at all.

How Nathaniel tries to deal with what’s happened ends up highlighting how far as a character he’s managed to come since his first appearance midway through season 2. He’s clearly struggling with what to do or say in reaction to Rebecca’s suicide attempt, writing and backspacing condolence messages to her. Eventually, he realizes why he’s struggling to deal with this and goes over to his parents’ house to talk to them. He confronts them to ask if his mother tried to commit suicide when he was 10, based on a repressed memory of his where he found her passed out and unresponsive next to a bottle of sleeping pills before she disappeared for a month. His dad is angry at him for trying to drag up the past (mostly because it ruined their martini time) and his mom is visibly upset at having to recall this event. Later, she admits that this happened during a rough period in her life and when she went away for a month she was taught how to sleep without the need for pills. It’s the first open and frank conversation these two have ever had and there’s clear relief on both of their faces after they have it. Nathaniel’s arc this season has honestly caught me off guard in terms of how much I’ve liked it. Outside of his lapse back into his old behavior patterns in “To Josh, With Love”, he’s made a lot of forward momentum as a character in terms of being honest about his feeling rather than repressing them.

Valencia’s story this episode revolves around how she ends up taking charge of keeping people informed about how Rebecca’s recovery is going online. She starts doing this by livestreaming update videos over social media and eventually hundreds of people start following it. What started as a touching gesture to help keep people connected to the condition of their mutual friend becomes something Valencia is using to get attention for herself by making it a movement called “#BunchOfFriend.” When Heather finds out she’s getting promotional deals from sponsors for her videos, she calls out Valencia for being full of crap. Her rebuttal to Heather’s assertion is expressed through a parody of faux-inspirational pop anthems called “This is My Movement.” The rebuttal ends up being a reinforcement of Heather’s accusation as the lyrics and title of the song are all comedic euphemism for pooping, including “It’s gonna be a beauty/Cause it’s my duty/To spread it all over the world.” Helping the humor of the lyrics along is how committed to the bit Gabrielle Ruiz is with her enthusiasm in the performance with a lack of self-awareness for what the lyrics sound like.

Rebecca main story this episode revolves around the psychiatrist at the hospital, Dr. Shen, telling her that due to his conversations with Dr. Akopian, they’ve arrived at a new diagnosis of her mental condition rather than the anxiety and depression Rebecca has always been told she suffers from. Rebecca sees this as a new chance to understand how she can handle her life by understanding more about one of the sources of her behavior. Her excitement to know more about herself is expressed through the musical number “A Diagnosis.” Where she expresses that she thinks this news will be the key to finally being able to function in her life the way she’s always wanted. The concept of a new diagnosis is the light at the end of the tunnel out of this dark period in her life.

Reality doesn’t quite measure up to what Rebecca was expecting when Dr. Shen give her the diagnosis, Borderline Personality Disorder. He describes it to her briefly by saying people with BPD tend to lack the emotional fortitude to feel comfortable living in the world, tells her to start attending group therapy sessions and to not look up the condition online. She instantly breaks the last rule by looking it up and being upset by what she sees, later telling her friends “I read two and a half sentences about it and they were the worst I’ve ever read.” Paula tells her that if she’s not happy about it then they can go directly to Dr. Akopian to get a second opinion about her condition. When they go to her office and interrupt one of her other appointments, she reluctantly agrees to discuss the diagnosis with them and runs her through a checklist of BPD’s symptoms to see if Rebecca feels she has them. While the list is being read out, Rebecca reflects on all the moments in her life that reflect the condition and starts to agree with how the diagnosis was more accurate than she wanted to believe.

After a night of thinking through the diagnosis, she starts to accept that having BPD is something she’ll have to deal with in the right way. She reassures her friends the best she can about how even though she doesn’t know what her future living with BPD will be like she’s prepared to take the steps necessary to live as well as possible. When Darryl bursts in to her house, after rushing back into town from a retreat with White Josh the second he got the news, he starts talking about how he’s angry at Josh Chan for pushing her to that point. But Rebecca has finally had the episode’s titular revelation, “Josh Is Irrelevant”, she hasn’t thought about him since being back in town and accepts that none of this was ever about Josh. She’s says all this unaware that Josh is right outside of her door overhearing it. Later, she sees Nathaniel delivering some roses from his mother to her house and he tells her he’s happy to see her doing okay.

“Josh Is Irrelevant” manages the difficult task of following up such a heavy previous episode by keeping every character’s reaction perfectly inline with where they are at this moment in the series, like Valencia admitting that all the livestreaming was her way of dealing with the situation by putting on a brave face of her own for a public audience. There’s smaller funny moments like an insert contextualizing the last shot from this season’s theme song and Rebecca’s friends panicking as she can’t hear them knocking on the bathroom door. What Rebecca’s life will be like past her Josh obsession and trying to properly deal with her mental issues is something I’m looking forward to seeing once the show returns in two weeks with “Getting Over Jeff.”

[televisedbirdwatching]

Shelters and Design ep.1: Wapato Jail

A Homeless Shelter that Almost Was, but Never Should Have Been

As of November 1st, 2018, a demolition permit was filed for Wapato jail, putting the final nail in the coffin of a plan to utilize the detention facility as a homeless shelter.

P/C Mark Graves, OregonLive.

The story of Wapato jail is bizarre. In 1996, voters approved a tax increase meant to fund the construction of a new detention center, but simultaneously passed a limit on property taxes that undercut revenue for operation of the jail. On the City of Portland’s website about Wapato jail, they write “the dedication ceremony on July 17, 2004 for the completed $58.4 million facility offered little reason to celebrate. A new sheriff, Bernie Giusto, acknowledged they had just built a jail they could not afford to operate.”

P/C Mark Graves, OregonLive.

In the 15 years since 2004, Wapato has never held a single prisoner. Not wanting to waste a perfectly good jail, various people have come forward in these 15 years proposing that Wapato could be put to use housing the homeless. Most recently, Gubernatorial candidate Knute Buehler voiced support for this plan; saying in a campaign event “This facility is a concrete example of something that could be done to get people off the street and into a safe place where we can get them the care they need.”

It wasn’t just Buehler: up until the end, the idea that Wapato could be put to use as a shelter was an idea that refused to die. In October, the city finally agreed to sell the property to a private developer. It changed hands again; at which point the second developer issued a final ultimatum (or last chance): secure funding for a homeless shelter by October 1st of 2018, or else the property would be demolished. Despite some scrambling from a few committed politicians, no funding was secured. As of November 1st, the owner filed for a demolition permit; finally ending the story of Wapato.

P/C Mark Graves, OregonLive.

Utilizing Wapato jail as a homeless shelter was a terrible idea for a number of reasons. For example, it is 11 miles from downtown, where most services for the homeless are located. Second, it’s in a location not served by a bus route. What’s more is that the facility has outrageously high operations costs (the most recent owner says it costs him $50,000 per month just to let it sit empty). For economic and logistical reasons alone, operating Wapato as a shelter never made sense.

However, I’d like to focus on the fact that there are very good additional social reasons why Wapato, a jail, should never have been used as a homeless shelter. As much as I love retrofits, I don’t think there is any design solution capable of transforming Wapato into anything other than a detention facility; a building whose sole design purpose was containment and control of dangerous persons.

P/C Mark Graves, OregonLive.

Writing for Citylab, Professor Jill Pable argues that the design elements of shelters are critical in supporting or hindering homeless folks. 

“A shelter with sterile corridor and glaring lights may silently send the message that, ‘People don’t think you deserve a nice place to live.’ Homeless housing designed with warm colors, thoughtful lighting and useful signage, on the other hand, can send the opposite message: ‘Someone cares.’” 

I’m skeptical that Wapato, even with some new wall colors and warmer colored bulbs in the overhead lighting, would ever feel like anything but a prison. What message are we sending homeless folks by housing them in a detention facility, even a remodeled one?

If Wapato can be a case study in design, it’s worthwhile for acknowledging that there are some limits to retrofits for properties. I’m interested in the intermediate stages of city development, in between where we are today and where we want to be in the future. On this subject I’ve looked at retrofitting streets as bike paths, and creating residential density through adding second doors to homes. However, Wapato is a reminder that some things are not worth saving and changing. Perhaps in some cases, it’s best to admit a mistake, get out the bulldozers, and build something new.

Second, the messages we send through design and communication are important. In an exhaustive look at the characterization of homelessness over time in American history, Bassuk and Franklin’s “Homelessness Past and Present: The Case of the United States, 1890-1925” writes that “one 1902 depiction describes a hobo as “a moral degenerate,” language that incriminates the homeless person and establishes homelessness as a attribute of a person’s character, as opposed to a period in a person’s life. This language establishes a conceptual framework that legitimizes the enactment of stricter vagrancy and loitering laws or, that might compel someone to think that a detention facility is an appropriate place to house the homeless.

P/C Mark Graves, OregonLive.

I understand that when Knute Buehler stood on a podium in front of the Wapato Facility and voiced his support for the Wapato facility’s use as a treatment center, he didn’t believe it would be a turn-key situation. I can only assume that he understood that the Wapato facility would require an extensive remodel in order to be used as a shelter. However, even suggesting that Wapato be used as a framework or starting point for a shelter exposes a certain operational framework. All design is political. All design solutions (or re-design solutions,) are political.

For so many other reasons, it shouldn’t have taken this long for Wapato’s demolition and for the death of the idea that it may be useful as a shelter. However, in the end, it was economics that killed the plan, not design. And yet, for design reasons alone, Wapato should never have been proposed as a design solution.

Next week, I’ll talk more about shelter design, and focus on more potentially successful frameworks for providing durable solutions to homelessness.