#when all goes wrong. akechi

[taitavva]

target practice

[epsiphi]

so i saw THIS image online courtesy of twitter user @/offpridbird and it inspired me to look into the criteria for each of these disorders, and how they might fit him, so…

welcome to

My Analysis On Whether or Not Goro Akechi Has a Cluster B Personality Disorder (According to the DSM-V)

(this is a long post that took up TWELVE pages in my notebook so the nitty gritty is under the cut. tl;dr, there’s evidence in favor of all these)

now you might ask: what are your qualifications? to that i say: i’m a psychology student* who also happens to be a big fan of goro akechi. which is to say that i am not an expert; i just really like this fictional guy. my analysis is also based on my personal understanding of his character. so, you know, don’t flay me alive if i get a part of his character wrong. or do.

*high school

in case you don’t know what a cluster b personality disorder is: it’s a subset of personality disorders characterized by “dramatic, emotional, or erratic” behavior. it includes:

antisocial personality disorder (ASPD)

borderline personality disorder (BPD)

narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)

histrionic personality disorder (HPD).

this post covers ASPD, BPD, and NPD, because those are the disorders i’ve seen most ascribed to akechi. i might cover HPD some other time.

(also yes i seriously perused a copy of the dsm-v for this)

Borderline Personality Disorder

1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment: we’re looking at mr. “I was extremely particular about my life…my grades…my public image…so someone would want me around!” over here. it’s made pretty clear that akechi’s perfect persona wasn’t something he just started doing when he became famous; it started after his mother died, once he was being “passed around from foster home to foster home”. he tried to be perfect so they would want him. it’s clear that none of them did.

2. A pattern of unstable and intense relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation: the only real relationships akechi has are with joker (no canon name discourse here) and shido. it goes without saying that neither of these relationships are very normal; on akechi’s part, both are characterized by his obsessions and love-hate feelings. akechi does also kind of have an idealizing issue with joker (putting him on a pedestal—which is admittedly something most characters do, but i feel like akechi is not any more normal about joker than anyone else)

3. Identity disturbance (markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self): i feel like this guy cycles between “i was cut from the cloth of god” and “i am the scum of the earth”. in thirdsem, he does not seem to have much of a self beneath his detective prince persona (by which i mean he’s very…blank? just look at his default portrait. very blunt and to the point)

4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g. spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating): none of these apply in canon. he does seem to have issues with food (forgetting to eat, apparently eating little, not caring about the taste of what he eats vs. the appearance of it, he runs a food blog but it appears to be mostly for show). choosing to become a hitman for a comically evil politician who is also your father at age 15 would qualify for self-damaging, but might also fall under…

5. Recurrent suicidal behavior/gestures/threats, or self-mutilating behaviors: his revenge plan is so bad it’s borderline suicidal—not in the sense that he actively planned to kill himself afterwards or anything, but in the sense of he spent so long fantasizing about getting revenge that he literally never stopped to think about the day after. not envisioning a meaningful future is also suicidal.

6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood: this confused the hell out of me at first. it essentially means rapid, intense mood shifts. i’m…not sure, actually. (i guess you could count the insane difference between his self in battle vs himself out of battle in thirdsem as this, but i’m not the guy who can answer that).

7. Chronic feelings of emptiness: remember that thieves den conversation where yusuke mentions how difficult keeping up an act for a long stretch of time is (in reference to the pts pretending not to know the truth about akechi in sae’s palace) and akechi responds with “Is that so? Well, you stop feeling things once you get used to it”? because i do. (note the use of a word as general as things) (also veering into hc: i’ve seen people say akechi’s sin, had his palace not been cut, likely would’ve been acedia, which is…indifference. emptiness.)

8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger: have you seen the engine room. i think it’s always there, it’s just that he’s good at controlling it 98% of the time.

9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms: kind of on the fence about this one—leaning towards yes. i think this sort of applies to the interrogation room? he moves through a lot of it vaguely shocked + a few subsequent tv interviews. in the one soonest after 11/20–the “same strategy used in romance” interview—he has an oddly flat affect, which is funny given the context of how he’s being lauded as hero. like…he can’t even pretend to be happier. in the interview that occurs during the infiltration of shido’s palace (“none of these people know i was an undesirable child”) he mentions how the news of joker’s suicide was dizzying—obviously he’s lying about WHY it was dizzying, but he still appears to mean it.

Total criteria fulfilled: 7/9. (Criterion 1, 2, 3, either 4 or 5 could be considered fulfilled but not both at once, 7, 8, 9)

for clarification: any suicidal behavior under criterion 5 cannot be counted in criterion 4. so if you consider “becoming a hitman for his scraped-off-the-boot-of-the-devil father at 15” as self-damaging but not suicidal, then criterion 4 is fulfilled. if you consider it suicidal behavior, then criterion 5 is fulfilled.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance: not sure how to describe this one other than “you know it bitch”

2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love: in my notebook i literally just wrote “yeah” for this. because i don’t have any articulated reason for this belief, i won’t count it as fulfilled criteria. but know i believe it

3. Believes that they are “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or associate with, other special or high status people: by his own admission (confidant rank 2), akechi does not have friends—or as he says, “people i’d actively choose to see in my free time”. it’s not for lack of people who’d want to be his friend; this is in june, people are raving about him. so he probably has a million connections and people who’d love to hang out with him, but he doesn’t want to hang out with a bunch of nobodies. his trait in the artbook is that he gets distracted in conversation, which is a very light way of saying that he doesn’t pay attention to people because they’re boring and not worth the time. joker falls under “other special people”. also, on “believes they’re special”: there’s something to be said about how akechi awakens to his persona 2 years before canon, and how he was totally on his own. like, as far as he knew, he was the only person with these powers—the only person without a shadow, and as such, the only person without distorted desires. so naturally he would consider himself special. (ignoring that he literally kind of is)

4. Requires excessive admiration: guy who has spent whole life internalizing that he is inherently unlovable and worthless becomes a celebrity and puts up a perfect front because he needs people to love him; more at 9. (dsm-v also states: “Their self-esteem is invariably very fragile. They may be preoccupied with how well they are doing and how favorably they are regarded by others”. obviously. hello, 8/28)

5. Has a sense of entitlement (i.e. unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment): great time to bring up Relative Deprivation Theory—the belief that someone will feel deprived of or entitled to something in comparison to another. in akechi’s case: deprivation of acceptance/love in comparison to joker and entitlement to the same (“How does someone like you have things I don’t?!���). it’s interesting that he uses his fame as a reason why he deserves what joker has, when it’s why he doesn’t (fame is not love).

6. Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e. takes advantage of others to achieve their own ends): the core of his charm is manipulation and inherent dishonesty, so i kind of feel this is a given.

7. Lacks empathy (is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others): there’s Word of God that akechi is just like, “whatever” to anyone who isn’t joker, as in he doesn’t particularly care about anyone else on a deeper level (not a ship thing; just an observation). also does not seem to care about most of the people he kills or who get hurt as a result of his actions (i.e. psychotic breakdowns).

8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of them: i mean…do i really have to say anything about this.

9. Shows arrogant or haughty behaviors: do i really have to say anything about this (2). it’s kind of everywhere in the third semester. if you want more evidence: look at his thieves den conversations (crazy)

Total criteria fulfilled: 8/9. (All criterion but 2)

i think goro akechi might be the most covert narcissist in fiction.

Antisocial Personality Disorder:

this one’s a little different than the others.

A. A pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others, occurring since age 15 years, as indicated by three (3) or more of the following:

1a. Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors, as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest: i’m no lawyer but i think murder is grounds for arrest.

2a. Deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure: this guy lies as easily as he breathes. inevitably he’s lying all the time, considering no one is bringing up the fact that he’s a magic assassin until november 20th.

3a. Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead: well, no, akechi is the type to overplan ahead. i do think he’s kind of impulsive, by virtue of the fact that he’s more emotional than logical.

4a. Irritability or aggressiveness: he hides both of these pretty well for the majority of the game but once third semester starts? irritability is off the charts. aggressiveness is usually confined to battle (despite many many many fan interpretations that would say otherwise)

5a. Reckless disregard for safety of self or others: murder and psychotic breakdowns that wreak havoc on public safety sure does suggest a disregard for others’ safety. choosing to become a hitman for someone you know is evil as a teenager also implies a certain disregard for self-safety.

6a. Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or financial obligations: nope.

7a. Lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another: as i mentioned under NPD criterion 7–absolutely. emphasis on rationalizing (“My targets were all doing the same damn thing in this eat or be eaten world. All I did was remove their evil from society. How is that any different from the Phantom Thieves?”)

B. The individual is at least 18 years of age: well, yeah. he’s just barely 18 when you formally meet him on june 9th.

C. There is evidence of conduct disorder with onset before age 15 years: unfortunately akechi is not real, so we don’t have this information. i highly doubt it, though (specifically i doubt there would be evidence, if we believe he was already putting up the perfect front before he was famous).

D. The occurrence of antisocial behavior is not exclusively during the course of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder: no (but uh. bipolar disorder is another topic for another day)

Criteria A fulfilled: 5/7. (Criterion 1, 2, 4, 5, 7). Criterion B and D are also fulfilled.

SO! conclusions:

the possibility of akechi having any one of these disorders is plausible

the real common enemy are the people who try and say akechi has no longstanding trauma/psychological issues. clearly, he’s got…something.

goro akechi is the cluster b final boss

[asp3nn]

i dont have any persona theories to share currently but i can give my new player thoughts on the phantom thieves (i named mine the fazvengers btw me and my friends decided on a fnaf theme)

- ok so im not sure how to perceive joker as a character. hes awesome and very cool but when im making all his decisions its hard to notice specific personality traits, at least on a first playthrough. id probably need more experience in persona studies to actually understand him as a character. his name is freddy fazballs to me also and it took a while to get used to

- ryuji is my favorite im the #1 ryuji fan🔥🔥🔥 HES SO AWESOME AND FUN and i love his personality and i thought his character is pretty well written, especially in the beginning. i adore ryuji ive never left him behind in a palace once. hes very interesting to me and i can think about him forever i love ryuji sakamoto🙏🙏

- ann is literally amazing and i thought her story was also great at the start. shes one of my favorites, my only complaint is i wish the game would stop sexualizing her. its like they forgot the point of her arc and everything she went through with kamoshida, which i very much dislike. thats not her fault tho awesome character

- yusuke is SO fun and eccentric, i adore how dramatic he is. i found his story really interesting and i also think hes funny

- makoto is cool, she kinda stands out a bit less than the others but thats fine. i think shes awesome and i dont have many issues with her in particular, but i do think shes kinda boring

- futaba omg her palace was SO INTERESTING its been my favorite palace so far. i was so engaged the entire palace, i just wanted to understand more of her character every day. i got up and cheered when she got her persona and i wrote a bunch of notes and theories. futaba is awesome love her

- haru's cool. idk her too well yet since i only really met her one palace ago, but shes nice and sweet and its very funny when shes not. also i hope we change her dumb stupid horrible fiance's heart in mementos (havent gotten far enough in her confidant to know how that goes yet)

- akechi is so fascinating to me. what is wrong with him i will find out. ive written page after page about him in my notes and i still cant figure him out, but what i do know is i think hes a liar and a snitch and a murderer and i like making fun of him. hes been my top priority confidant and i hope he has a palace and i hope its super cool and interesting

- oh and i tried to like morgana i really did but he annoys me and he needs to sit down and leave ann alone and let me stay up at night and stop telling me everything and bossing me around

- bonus round i think kasumi is also cool. apparently shes a royal exclusive character who's important to this third semester my friend keeps mentioning so im assuming that means i dont know much about her yet. which i can believe, i thought her confidant was nice and i thought she was sweet but that was about it until she got her persona. i was screaming in my notes about theories i havent been able to sort through to this day, but basically im interested to see where she goes in the future.

[leonawriter]

Shuake NG+ AU but it's Akechi who goes back.

Akira told him sometime during third semester that he'd had feelings since they first met, so when Akechi finds himself back there he just thinks he's dreaming. One of those rare good ones where it lets him do things just a little differently - but instead of "Wakaba's Shadow kills me because I hesitated too long" or "I try and kill Shido instead of trying (in vain) to get his approval," it's "I get to play out my fantasies of being with the boy I like before everything went wrong."

So, of course, he acts things out well enough, and he makes some excuse to get Akira alone because even in a strangely realistic dream he's not comfortable being that open with his affections, and then, with Akira not knowing what's going on, kisses the hell out of him like he's wanted to for a while and Akira told him he'd wanted to, and-

And then he's got startled grey eyes looking at him like he's grown two heads, looking at him like he's a complete stranger, and he Isn't Waking Up.

And Akira's saying something to the effect of how he's hardly complaining but he has no idea where that came from, all nerves and- yeah, there it is, a fair bit of the thrill-seeker Akechi knows. (And loves.)

Akechi runs, because the dream isn't ending and consequences like questions over what that even meant, only for him to keep realising over and over that this... isn't a dream. At all.

He's back in time and he's just kissed Akira in a way neither of them are about to forget, and- if "I'd like to keep debating with you" hadn't sounded like a pick-up line the first time around, the way he stumbles through asking - all the while internally cringing, feeling sure that he's wrecked his chances already - at this point certainly does now.

The second miracle in as many days is that Akira doesn't reject him. He's not left hanging.

He has no idea who or what sent him back. But, and maybe it's selfish, but he feels that he could have made a worse start.

[optimistic-tree]

Theory

Haven't finished Persona 5 Royal, but, grrr-the idea of Akechi as a cognition? Incredible.

He's not real, he's never been real to you, not to anyone probably. He's honest in the boiler room, tells you he hates you. He won't let you take him home. He kills himself-not like that, not ever like that. Too pedestrian, probably.

There has to be some part of him that liked you. You could tell he wanted to come home-but he died. Died and was gone, and you couldn't save him.

It's your dearest wish, to bring him back, for love, for his unrealized potential, for being the one person you couldn't save-give or take a few, but they don't matter. He's not happy in this world. He can't ever be happy. He was a tool, and he can't stand being a tool again. (That part sticks with you. You don't like remembering the things he said about you, about being alone.) Your team fights side-by-side with him, and it works, and nothing goes wrong. And it's the day before the infiltration, and Maruki comes to you, and says that Akechi's fake. Not like that, he's too tactful, but he wasn't real the whole time. Maybe you knew that, but you don't think so.

Akechi's a doll-made from your wishes-Maruki did it for you, maybe he took some things from your friends, maybe from his landlord-you're sure he didn't put anything from Shido (are you sure? Shido's known Akechi so much longer than you have-) It explains why his mother's not here. He's a puppet. Puppets don't get their own families, not just from wanting it. The only reason he's not happy is because you can't imagine him that way, not in a world like this. And you needed to save Sumire, but you couldn't have done it without Akechi. He was there to support you-he was your desires given flesh. Awfully unlucky of Maruki, huh? Your greatest desire was still to rebel, even when he had a face of his own. You couldn't leave reality the way it was, couldn't let Maruki destroy himself-the reasons spiral aroudn in your head again and again. But Akechi was the thing that made it possible, and he wasn't real.

Maybe it's your fault he couldn't be happy like this. Maybe if you listened to what he said in the engine room-you noticed he was different, but it's not like you ever knew him in the first place. Maybe if you'd held onto what he wanted from you-beneath him, groveling at his feet, maybe he would've been happy.

And it'd be wrong, but he'd be more than what you needed him to be. But he's dead, and you've never known him, not really, and you loved him and you can't get him back

I don't want Akechi alive. I want reality to bend around you. (I see so very many people write him as alive, as the same person he was before, but I don't love goro. He's interesting, but I don't love him-and the truth- that there never was an Akechi here at all, that you were struggling for a puppet who's strings you pulled yourself- It's incredible. )

[thebearme]

May I take a look at your Adachi design? Also some head-cannons about him.

My design of him hasn't changed from my original idea but here he is colored

He's a disgusting bastard inside and later shows and out. I now have the idea that he keeps his eyes closed to look friendly looking but he later opens his eyes in his battle with him revealing how bloodshot they are.

Now I don't really have many hc for him, even though he's been my favorite villains since middle school. The most I had is that he trolls Yu by saying he's gonna get with Dojima and the investigation team hated him (the funniest one being Teddie because he's literally just hating because everyone else is).

If I were to come up with some new headcanons I feel like I have to replay the game over to get an idea. But even then I would need some inspo from the fandom and I REALLY DONT WANT TO LOOK AT THE ADACHI FANDOM! The last time I checked they like him a lil TOO much.

I like him in the way of dissecting him and his past that lead him to his point in life, hes not "my lil guy"

so sorry i don't got anything

But I do have a little analysis? talk of Adachi + p4 & p5 spoilers

He's a villain that I liked to dissect but never ... humanize? It's not the right word but idk what else to use to describe it. In middle school to high school I loved Adachi and HATED Akechi because it felt like the story was really trying to make us feel bad for him "boo hoo poor baby, doesn't it make you want to forgive him?" Like- NO!? He killed multiple people and us and is ACTIVELY trying to kill us, why would I forgive him just because the story says so??

So going from p5 to p4g I LOVED that cabbage man because all tho he gives his story and stuff he KNOWS he's a piece of shit and he goes to jail for it too. Never did I feel like the story was trying to redeem him and I love it for that. It also doesn't help that I GENUINELY like him before the reveal and was got swept up in emotions of "i can't believe he's the killer" "we trusted him" "why would he do this" as if I was Narukami himself. We got tricked, felt betrayed and Adachi revels in it because we were the dumbass kid that believed in him because we as humans naturally project our thoughts and beliefs on mystery things. I thought he was some underdog! Maybe it's because I was in middle school when watching a playthrough so I was naturally going to believe in the act but it got me.

And THATS the interesting thing, Adachi got me but not Akechi. And I watched my sister play p5 before even hearing about p4. I immediately despite him being how savvy he acted and the fact that Ryuji didn't like him FUCKIN VALIDATED my opinion on him. Then later The SAD backstory came in and it made my eyes roll, Like ya buddy I don't have a dad either but that doesn't mean you're seeing me on the news catching bodies bro! It just felt off

But for some reason Adachi's whole stick didn't feel like the story is trying to have you put pity on him. That backstory is just to understand his mind but not to justify it, and I like that. It feels like they trust us to have media literacy and although mines wasn't great at 14 it still felt better to have the opportunity to feel what you feel and not have the story crammed down a contradicting message and seeing the fandom eat it up.

btw I no longer hate Akechi and I understand the shuake but it aint for me, it's easier and funnier to bully the pancake boy.

The one thing I wish changed was the thing that Dojima goes through in the Adachi story mode in area ultimate. I understand he was ur police partner bro but truly what the hell is the visit for? THAT felt sooo wrong I couldn't even play it for laughs when I saw it. Someone make a oc or selfship for Dojima please, this man has too much time on his hands.

Dear god I hope the p4 remake doesn't have everyone forgive Adachi or something just let him rot in jail please.

[misrepresentedmorallygrey]

PROPAGANDA

Goro Akechi

have you seen this man. the fandom doesn't seem to grasp that he can have a "good" goal but still go about it absolutely the wrong way. he's not baby but he's not evil incarnate either, he's just 18. being 18 is just like that

People who are like "he's an irredeemable psychopath who became a serial killer just because he has daddy issues" piss me off. People who are like "he's the only person who ACTUALLY cares about the Protagonist and all of the Protagonist's other friends are fakes and users" piss me off even more. He's a foil for the entire main cast. He has faced all of their traumas with none of the support. He believes that he's responsible for his mother's suicide, and that he's unlovable. He was abandoned by everyone. He made some bad decisions when he was like 14, and his abusive father manipulated him into being a hitman. He lies all the damn time, so you can't really tell when he's being genuine or not. He's a double agent who befriends you and then tries to kill you, believes that he's succeeded, and shows absolutely no remorse. He dies to save your life (and then gets sorta resurrected and then dies again to literally save the world). It's complicated! He's complicated!

Loki

hes just like that

He is not the Norse equivalent of the Devil! People keep trying to fit Norse mythology into a Christian mindset and that's NOT RIGHT!! Loki is complex. They're mischievous and some things are bad and some things are good and sometimes they are just a chaotic being that has sex with a horse.

I just think it’s funny that someone submitted this already, and I kind of want to see where that goes

[weloveakechi]

Picture this: violin prodigy Goro Akechi, loved and admired by hundreds but still somehow not satisfied by any of it

Then there’s Akira, a thief, lurking in the shadows there to steal the violin, to take back what should have been his. His plan is perfect except Goro shows up and starts practice unexpectedly

And when Goro starts to play Akira cannot stop listening. It is love at first note, not that he realizes it yet. All he knows is he needs the player to go with the instrument to really ruin Shido

He leaves calling cards, critiques on Goro’s playing, his outfit, his music choice. He’s trying to push him away. But Goro is only more determined to do well. He tweaks everything, puts in more effort, refuses poor song choices

It is a dance between them. Threats and notes and then a rose during practice. A bouquet after a performance. Candies and tissues when something goes wrong

And for Goro, he lives for those notes. They’re the first genuine interactions he’s had since before he can remember. No one has ever spoken to him that way before, in writing or otherwise.

They drive him. He has to be better. The best. Perfect. He puts everything into his performances, eyes raking the crowd for a face he only knows as a mask on a card. Heart racing to see the next response to his words put into song. He pushes and pushes and pushes. Leaves a note of his own at last, with a score he has been working on. A song for this phantom Joker. His feelings made into music

He plays that piece that night.

And the letters stop

And he cannot stand it. Without a true audience what reason does he have to play?

So he goes to destroy the violin and walks into the performance hall only to hear it singing beautifully

There, in the same mask drawn on all his cards is Akira, playing the same piece he’d written, each note lovingly pulled from the strings

[lawrinlewis]

Writing snippet: Black Mask Haru, and the fate of Okumura Kunikazu

Noir was a ruthless dispenser of justice, a shadow striking fear in her target's heart. Okumura Haru was a coward who quivered at her father's displeasure. She was a child yearning for soft touches that would never come.

Noir would have shot this heinous man in the face without regret. Haru couldn't even raise her axe. Sweat coated her hands as her arms trembled. She had taken those other lives so easily, so how dare she hesitate now? (She couldn't do it.) He was no better than the rot he had ordered her to purge. (She couldn't do it.) What justice did she serve if it crumbled the moment her feelings was on the line? (She couldn't do it.)

What did it say about her, its loyal executioner?

Her father looked at her, his face paled in fear. He apologized and pleaded and pleaded. He begged for forgiveness. Numbness filled her limbs as incessant buzzing invaded her ears. This man made her a murdered. She was his sword to wield, his bargain chip to throw, his glass-eyed doll to sell. Even so, she panted and begged after him like a dog, a girl so weak and sycophant just hoping for scraps of praise from her owner. Sometimes she recoiled from the person she became. That disgust for herself pooled in her heart like poison as desperation grew alongside it. Gentle praises turned into angry barks, her invisible chains and willing cage. He was hooks in her flesh. He was a parasite that devoured her soul. He was her world.

So for as long as he existed, she could never live.

Her vision swam and blurred, terrible tears flooded her eyes. Oh, she hated being weak in front of the Phantom Thieves, these true allies of justice who burned her with their purity.

A clicking sound jarred her. Akechi readied his gun. He looked at her in the eyes.

"Night. Haru. Do you want him dead?"

She stared at him. His garnet eyes, several shades deeper than Mako-chan's (eyes that would never look at her so lovingly anymore), shone red under cool blue light. She shook under the weight of being seen. In that moment, she knew he understood. He would never judge her for her choice. Jagged emotions tore their way through her soft throat. She spat out a bloody whisper.

"Please."

Realizing her betrayal, her father shouted in impotent anger and disbelief. But she couldn't hear him anymore. All her senses zeroed in on that silly (deadly) laser gun Goro-kun wielded. His finger curled.

Bang!

Background info:

Black mask Haru post, but the basic gist is that Haru's natural latent psychic abilities made her a target for Shido. They forcefully awakened her persona and made her serve as their assassin. In an attempt to cope, Haru has deluded herself into believing she's serving justice. Also she goes through a worsening arc before her redemption arc because of her jealousy towards the PTs.

Haru was tasked to cause a mental shutdown in Sae so that they can frame the PTs for murder. The PTs manage to intercept her, but not before she caused heavy damage to Sae's mind and plunging her into a coma. Makoto, who was in love with Haru before, has a hard time even looking at her after that.

They worked together on the Okumura palace because. Erm. I want them to?

Goro has killed before. During an experiment gone wrong with Wakaba, Goro went berserk, his body and mind fusing grotesquely with his two persona. He killed (then cannibalized) Wakaba (which he regrets), as well as the other scientists (which he does not regret), before setting fire to the lab when his mind stabilized to fake his death + destroy the lab equipment. This is why I made him the one who understood Haru and decided to kill for her at the end

[rainymeadows-art]

ohh i love ur persona ace attorney au so much. do you have more on nahyuta ?

OH I ABSOLUTELY DO but there'll be spoilers for P5R involved so I'm putting it under a cut just in case (be prepared for an infodump because I've put SO MUCH THOUGHT into this AU)

so as I said, Nahyuta in this AU takes the place of Akechi, but because he's not the same character, I decided to give him different motivations for doing what he did. He's not pretending to be loyal to the phantom, not plotting against them, not even really caring much about them at all. He does still betray the Phantom Thieves and try to kill Phoenix, but for wholly different reasons.

This is where it becomes VERY convenient that a big part of Nahyuta's character is being a pious monk.

Why does he do what he does? Because he's following the words of the Holy Mother. After all his years of praying, she finally responded! She granted him access to the Metaverse, gave him not one but two Personas to use in battle, and instructed him on what actions to take to grow stronger, strong enough to finally depose the royal family of Khura'in and save his country from the dystopic nightmare it's become. Why wouldn't he follow the words of the god he's been praying to when he finally received a response?

And then, after the fight where he ditches Sun Wukong for Devadatta, reveals his true Metaverse form and tries to kill the Phantom Thieves, much like Akechi/Crow in canon, he's approached by the version of himself that's been sculpted by the mind of the phantom.

A form that mocks him as he desperately pleads his faith, stating that the Holy Mother never noticed his prayers

but Nahyuta's been communicating with something, and has a horrific realisation:

Who's been answering his prayers all this time?

(hint: it's Yaldabaoth)

Much like Akechi did, he activates a door to cut himself and his Shadow self off from the rest of the Thieves to protect them, but unlike what happens in P5R, Phoenix remembers that he has a grappling hook and uses it to snatch Nahyuta to the other side of the door just before it closes. They hear Shadow Nahyuta get devoured by the other smaller Shadows, but Nahyuta's still beat up from their fight, so they leave the Metaverse to get him to a hospital.

Then he disappears. Checks himself out and dips

He seemingly returns to help Apollo and Klavier when Kristoph perverts the world to his preferences, much like how Akechi returned to help Joker and Sumi when Maruki did the same, but instead of the twist being that he was dead all along, Kristoph is just like "Apollo, Nahyuta tried to murder you and then vanished into the night, he's still missing IRL, what makes you think he could just come back with no fanfare and help you"

and sure enough, when Kristoph's illusions are dispelled, Nahyuta is nowhere to be seen...

...at least until he comes back, and explains that he went home, blew the whistle on Queen Ga'ran and successfully got her removed from power, and he's come back to turn himself in for the many crimes he committed at the behest of the phantom and the "Holy Mother". Sure enough, when the Phantom Thieves look it up, they realise he was telling the truth, but he still wants to redeem himself so he willingly goes to prison. And hey, he just saved the characters from having to do Ace Attorney 6!

He may not be able to hear the voice of the Holy Mother anymore, but he's come to understand her will, and that begins with righting the many wrongs he's committed.

suck it capcom i wrote a better nahyuta than you

[thedaythatwas]

TW: Hegel.

So, what’s up with Shuake and dialectics? Click below to watch this user (who is not a philosopher) give this (frankly too invested) analysis a shot!

Something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately is the fact that most– but not all– of Joker’s confidant routes involve some sort of transaction. Joker does something for someone, Joker gets a favor in return. Joker’s identity revolves around what he can do for others. He’s got a different mask (haha game mechanic is narrative device etc.) for everyone in his life. 

Getting a little bit in my head about this led me to a (not-all-that-novel) realization: Akechi’s confidant route is largely non-transactional. Sure, he says that he wants to meet with you to talk about the Phantom Thieves, but that more or less directly translates to just wanting to hang out with you. The “favor” that you're doing for Akechi, if we follow the logic of some of the other confidant routes, is spending time with him. (Which is of course also about getting close to Joker for metaverse recon purposes… But I’d argue that amounts to more or less the same thing in the long run anyway). Really, that’s what your relationship with him is, up until you realize the heart he needs you to change is actually one of the big-bads of the game. And at that point… Well… 

Where am I going with this? I’ve also been thinking a lot about Hegel (I’ve seen some really fun posting about Akechi and Hegel on here this past week– thank you philosophy P5R tumblr!). Akechi’s paraphrasing of Hegel goes a little something like “advancement cannot occur without both thesis and antithesis.” Hilariously, this is how he frames his desire to talk to you more, his flirting is just like me forreal I understand him etc. etc. BUT! The interesting thing here is that the game is cueing you to view your relationship with Akechi through the lens of Hegel’s dialectics.

More on that to follow, but first, I want to plug the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy’s page on Hegel’s Dialectics here– If you haven’t used it before, SEP is a reliable, peer-reviewed source. It’s great. I use it like. All the time. It’s good for getting the gist of big ideas when you don’t have time to read full texts. (Also if I get any of this wrong please know that philosophy is not my field and I’m totally open to constructive criticism.)

Hegel’s dialectical process revolves around three key moments: the moment of understanding, the dialectical moment, and the speculative moment. These moments can also be referred to as thesis, antithesis, and synthesis. The moment of understanding, thesis, is the point at which an idea is seemingly stable. In the dialectical moment, antithesis, this idea “sublates” itself– the idea is challenged and destabilized because an inherent contradiction in the idea has been made apparent–importantly, part of the idea is preserved. The speculative moment, synthesis, negates the contradiction. A new idea takes form, containing elements of the original idea that was sublated (Marx’s theory of history, anyone?) 

This process continues on and on. Ideas naturally reveal their contradictions, are destabilized, and resolve their contradictions through the creation of a new idea, which is challenged again. This is because the dialectical moment does not come from outside an idea. Antithesis is not an external push against thesis, but rather, the moment when thesis is forced into instability because of its own tightly-bound restriction. 

So back to what I was saying. The game kicks off your relationship with Akechi with a nod to, uh, all of that. Could this be a throwaway comment? Of course! But it’s much more fun to work under the assumption that it isn’t. So bear with me. Akechi is framing himself and Joker as thesis and antithesis. What does that mean? Why do I think it has something to do with Akechi and Joker’s relationship being non-transactional?

Previously, I’ve thought that in the context of their relationship, Akechi represented thesis, and Joker antithesis. This isn’t exactly true (at least per the criteria above) but I do think I was on the right track. 

At the beginning of his story, we can think of Akechi’s worldview as thesis. The world is a stage, and he is a performer. His entire life is dedicated to destroying Shido. It’s a key narrative element of P5 that Akechi doesn’t have confidant relationships (as contrasted by Joker, who has many confidants and becomes stronger through building up those bonds). He views himself as deceiving literally everyone in his life for his goals– his “fans,” his father, the Phantom Thieves. He doesn’t trust, because to him, trust is failure. 

Still, he’s starving for approval, and not just from Shido. You can see the inherent conflict between his desires and beliefs in just about every interaction he has with Joker, particularly those where Akechi overshares about his past. He desperately wants someone to hear him. I don’t think his (primary) aim in that was to strategically win Joker’s trust by showing vulnerability– if that was all he was going for, I doubt Akechi would have been so honest. He omitted information, sure, but he gave Joker the honest-to-god broad strokes of his childhood.  

When Joker comes into his life, Akechi comes to realize that his stable worldview might be wrong. Watching Joker and the rest of the Phantom Thieves reveals the cracks in his own internal logic. Joker has friendships and he is stronger because of them. When Akechi sacrifices himself for the Phantom Thieves on Shido’s ship, we see his moment of synthesis. If Akechi really still internalized all of what he said in his “Teammates? Friends? To hell with that!” monologue, he wouldn’t trust Joker to change Shido’s heart in his stead. To be clear– he probably would have reached this point with or without Joker’s intervention. Joker just happens to push Akechi towards self-sublation a little bit faster.

In Royal, we see a new iteration of Akechi. He doesn’t really regret his actions, and he is still very distinctly Akechi, but we can see that his original perception of the world has made a shift. He is willing to team up with Joker. While he may not place a great deal of faith in all of the PTs, he certainly has real trust in the protagonist. He’s learned that he can be recognized (dare I say loved?) without being perfect, and accordingly, his driving desire for approval has been displaced by his desire to never be so completely under anyone else’s control again.

But ok— that’s kind of an old take. Perhaps a hotter one: I’d also like to propose that Akechi does the same for Joker. 

As mentioned above, Joker’s identity for most of the game is defined by what he can do for the people around him. While a large part of this has to do with the fact that he is a playable character, this is a game, and a game needs to have things for you to do– it wouldn’t be very fun otherwise– it also seems pretty clear that this is part of his characterization. Joker is selfless to a fault. Like Akechi, he is a wildcard who can take on multiple personas. Unlike Akechi, instead of having a handful of personas directly linked to the core of his character development, Joker has as many personas as you want him to. He literally has a mask for every situation. You can equip a persona of the correct arcana to level up your relationships faster– a game mechanic, but also, an interesting meta statement about how Joker bonds with his confidants.

In Royal, however, Joker has the option to do something for himself. His greatest wish isn’t for someone else's happiness– it’s to have Akechi back, for selfish reasons, I would argue. Joker can sacrifice reality to keep him in his life, and depending on the actions you choose to take, sometimes, he does.

Loving Akechi teaches Joker to be selfish. This is especially poignant when you think of how adamantly opposed Akechi is to staying in Maruki's reality. Giving up the true reality to keep Akechi is a wholly selfish act on Joker's part, nothing altruistic about it. And if he doesn't make that choice? Well, don't forget about how Joker spent his wish.

He would have learned how to do this without Akechi– one tends to realize that neverending self-sacrifice is unsustainable sooner rather than later. Again, Akechi just pushes Joker towards effecting that self-sublation a little faster.

By spending time with Joker, Akechi learns that there are people he can truly trust. By spending time with Akechi, Joker learns how to put himself first. Their confidant relationship from this perspective is not only transactional, it’s actually one of the most transactional relationships in the game. Joker actively impacts how Akechi sees himself and the world around him, and vice versa. Their relationship is profoundly transformative for the both of them. To paraphrase Akechi, advancement cannot occur without both thesis and antithesis.

But also, we can forget dialectics for a second. Even without a fun analytical lens, Akechi’s confidant route centers two misunderstood people who find understanding in each other. That’s enough for me!

[phantom-thieves-official]

I always see lines being drawn between Akechi and Konoe but never Ryuji and Konoe and it BOTHERS me. Don't get me wrong, Akechi and Konoe are clearly paralleling each other but Ryuji is far more relevant in this situation like what the hell

I have not actually fought the boss yet, I am up to the moment before the boss fight starts and will not be doing the fight for a few days. So I don't know what comes after I beat him. But genuinely the parallels to Ryuji are what I noticed first (surely no biases here). Like okay he has a shitty dad, that can be said for many of the phantom thieves, not like Ryuji has exclusive rights to that. But he is the only member of the group who we know for certain has experienced physical abuse at the hands of his father. And Konoe's speech before the boss fight goes on and on about how he wants to erase evil and he wants to be a hero. He outright says that the Phantom Thieves couldn't have saved him from his father and he wants to save people the Phantom Thieves can't reach. He thinks himself a hero and wants to help people who are trapped and suffering like he was. Now is that not exactly what Ryuji (and Joker, and Ann) joined the phantom thieves for in the first place?? OH MY GOD ALSO Konoe acted in violence in a desperate bid to end the abuse he was experiencing.... hmmmmmmmm who else do we know who acted in violence against a male authority figure who was abusing him....???? literally hitting my head on the wall here like come ON.

I know there are bigger plot things going on that steal the spotlight a bit, but in the previous jails with monarchs who were clear mirrors of members of the phantom thieves, they got actual characterization!! they got serious moments during the story of the jail, got to reflect on how they were similar to the monarchs, and then got to have a big ol' heartfelt moment after beating the monarch's shadow. Meanwhile Ryuji is clearly a mirror of many parts of Konoe, and Konoe talks openly about his abusive dad, and Ryuji doesn't even get to acknowledge how they have that in common? He doesn't even get one single serious moment to acknowledge they both suffered abuse from their dad and turned that into the desire to be the hero (and Ryuji DOES enjoy playing the hero, look at his the middle of the original game where he gets hung up on fame.) He doesn't even get to say to Konoe 'hey man I also was abused by my dad, but you don't see me out there brainwashing people.'

Idk maybe I'm just biased but COME ON. This would have been en excellent moment to explore part of Ryuji's character that is left pretty untouched by the original game. He doesn't even seem uncomfortable or remorseful or reflective in any way when he learns about Konoe's past; when he sees a memory of the ACTUAL ABUSE that mirrors HIS OWN ABUSE, it's Haru who expresses discomfort. Like with Ann and Alice we get a whole conversation about how Ann relates to Alice and also wants to be a ray of hope for people. We hear from Yusuke about how lonely and painful life as a struggling artist can be and how he sympathizes with Natsume. But we can't get even one serious line from Ryuji. We don't get any acknowledgment at all of how Ryuji definitely should relate to Konoe's situation and feelings. I'm killing someone.

edit: SORRY I had more to say. It's not like Ryuji never gets serious moments! He has some in the original p5, so it's not like the excuse is just that it's not in his character to have serious characterization moments. He gets some in p5/p5r! Why not give him one or two here?? He better get to have a serious talk with Konoe after the boss fight or I'm running into traffic

[justicepuppet]

@necronomacle asked: "Sometimes I have this tiny voice in the back of my head that goes, 'Hey, everyone hates you. And they're not wrong to feel that way.'"

Bojack Horseman Starters

Akechi listened quietly as Futaba spoke, wanting to give her space to let her thoughts out while also wanting to make sure he didn't mess up and speak over her. There was... a lot to unpack. A lot he could offer up. A lot he wanted to say-

-and in that category laid the fact that she was spilling her heart out to him of all people. He didn't deserve to be the person to be keeping her confidence. She didn't deserve to have to feel so vulnerable around someone who had ruined her life. You need more friends. People who weren't just her long-distance boyfriend, or people she was still clinging to that she had met through being a Phantom.

Because they were friends, but they also really weren't. They were older than her by two to three years. The only one close in age was Sumire, and Sumire and Futaba's interests could not have been further apart. There was no common ground that the two of them could find. They were nice and polite with one another, but they weren't about to start having slumber parties together.

"... when you hear this voice, what does it sound like?" Akechi didn't look over at her. Instead he just let his gaze drift up toward the ceiling of her room. "Do you actually hear someone saying this? Or is it just a feeling you get? If you hear it, is it in your voice? Or someone else's?"

[wishforged]

welcome to the very long postscript to Steal Ahead, a persona 5 fanfiction, that I doubt very many people will read in full but I have chosen to write anyway for my own self-aggrandizement.

before proceeding, please take note that in the following, I reflect on my writing decisions in some detail. reading these notes may color your perception of the story. if you prefer for the author to be dead, I'd advise stopping here!!

introductory thoughts

this fic is titled after a lyric in the song "Tape Song" by the kills.

pretty self-explanatory, right?

I started writing this fic because... well, that was 5 years ago and since then I've gotten a concussion at least once and my memory is kind of bad in general but I can still confidently say goro akechi is my favorite character in the world. a lot of post-vanilla fans might not completely understand the degree to which goro fans were imbibing copium before all the additional material royal gave us-- goro's story ended very ambiguously, and a lot of things about him and his relationship with Ren were left up to our little fujoshi imaginations to ruminate over and decipher. I couldn't help but want to give him a future in my own way.

I also really wanted to write a SUPER SLOW BURN LONG TERM YEARS-LONG EPIC AKESHU LOVE STORY!!! it ended up being a little different than what I envisioned lol but I think it's still true to my original aspiration, which was to create an intimate, realistic, friends-to-lovers dynamic between the two of them. I hope you enjoyed it...

one of my major influences was In Good Company by weialala. yes, it's a naruto fic, one that I've held dear for many many years. weialala's internal monologue for Sasuke and how she deals with questions about his life, as well as her take on Sasuke and Naruto's relationship, goes beyond Naruto canon in an incredible way that really influenced how I wrote Goro and the slow burn romance in this fic. I highly recommend checking the fic out if you're a naruto fan!! sorry if you're not and this revelation gave you psychic damage.

I outlined this fic pretty heavily, keeping a google doc with a timeline of events spanning the four years over which the story takes place. that didn't stop me from changing things and adding stuff up until the last minute, though. I also struggled to keep the timeline straight a lot because I made the questionable decision to start the fic two years after canon left off and I can be kind of dumb.

a look into my struggles/twisted mind. my outlines tend to be quite rough.

in the rest of this post I talk about several things in the fic, like Goro's disability and mental health, how Ren is portrayed, and the original characters, with some behind-the-scenes thoughts.

"redemption"

when it comes to characters who have Done Stuff Wrong, there is a lot of discourse to be had among fans about how they can Atone for their crimes. these arguments often touch a lot of nerves-- in my opinion, because our contributions to this discourse are influenced by how we think about crime and rehabilitation in the real world.

I live in a country where the carceral system is incredibly brutal and discriminatory, abuse of incarcerated people is routine, and the goal of incarceration is not rehabilitation but the infliction of suffering upon those deemed "criminals" by the state. this has shaped my beliefs about incarceration as a form of punishment. to put it simply, I am not a fan. and in a fictional context, I find the idea that a character in a work of fiction can "do their time" and have all their guilt and sin magically removed to be a cop-out.

this is just me and these are just my own thoughts of course. again, I think questions about crime and rehabilitation in fiction are influenced by our thoughts on these concepts in the real world. for that reason and many others this is quite a personal story that draws on my own personal philosophy in its telling (as half-baked as that philosophy may be bc im not a super genius who has all the answers). whether that is a flaw or a feature is up to you as a reader to decide.

in this fic I wanted to explore how to move forward after you have done something horrible. it was hard, because in this story and perhaps in life, there are no pretty answers and no perfect ways to make up for doing the things Goro did. I settled upon an "answer" that reflects one of my deeply-held beliefs: we do what we must after tragedy, and what we must do is move forward, rely on and be there for those we love, and try to do as much good as we can.

original characters

as stated in the tags of the fic, I wrote in OCs so goro could have actual relationships and friends. I tried to gift each one with their own unique personality and some depth! a lot of the OCs are women, maybe because I find it easier to write women lol. sometimes I feel like a lot of female OCs in fic can lean towards being misogynistic caricatures -- I'm not really blaming writers for this as much as I am blaming Society; fanfic deals in tropes and when you constantly see the trope of the bitchy secretary, the shallow seductress, etc. in the media you consume it becomes second nature to unconsciously replicate it, even if you identify as a woman. this is why IMO as a writer you need to make a conscious effort to do things differently (and read more books) although I'm sure there are a lot of ways I come up short...

one of my favorites is cleo which is funny because she only shows up for a handful of scenes in the last chapter lol, and maybe it's recency bias but I spent so long working on the last chapter she feels like my own child... I feel like her first name doesn't make sense for a Japanese-American person to have but I got attached to it lmao.

I actually do think I gave the Kato family too many problems, what with Kagami's illness and Taku's behavior -- I think I kinda reference this at one point by having Goro wonder what kind of a fucked up Dickensian family this is lol. I have some other self-critical thoughts on how I wrote them but I'll keep that to myself... still love them a lot though. I really enjoy messy but loving sibling relationships in fiction so I had to put one in here too.

(fun fact: like Goro, Taku was going to be Deaf, which is why Kagami comments that Goro is "like my brother" during her first appearance in chapter 1. when I decided to go another direction for Taku's character, I changed this to mean Goro and Taku have eyes that are the same color.)

shout out, also, to Hirakawa, who seems to be something of a fan favorite judging by the comments. she was a blast to write lol and I really love her relationship with Goro.

ren

I consider the Ren in this fic to be my Ultimate™ portrayal of him that is the closest to how I see him as a character. my most popular p5 work is The Next Time Around, an AU fic where Ren is an older adult that I wrote when I was a teenager (more than five years ago) (lol) (😔) and although I do have pride in/affection for that work and the Ren in it, he is a far cry from the way I imagine Ren today. (for one thing his name wasn't ren in that fic. lol)

being a silent protagonist, Ren is a tricky character to get right. I was very active in the p5 fandom space on social media for several years before I basically completely stopped paying attention to it, but like many others, in those early days I absorbed parts of others' portrayals of Ren into my own. I actually think that's quite a lovely thing about silent protagonists-- everyone in a fandom space kind of works to build the character together. yes, sometimes the portrayals that attain the most popularity are flattening or flanderizing, but ultimately, it's kind of fun to build a Frankenprotagonist. until you're writing a fic which prompts you to really sit down and think about what a true-to-canon portrayal looks like and how to make it also true to Yourself and what you really believe the character to be. (it's hard)

in Steal Ahead, Ren is superstitious and avoidant and quite bad at expressing his feelings. he's a charismatic anti-authoritarian, a middle child, and a neat freak with a strong, stubborn sense of justice. he's full of contradictions and flaws, and he's healing in his own way from the events of p5 proper, struggling with returning to a mundane life when for a short, glorious while, he was extraordinary. (hence the shoplifting subplot in chapter 2. fun fact -- that was originally supposed to be smoking but then I decided to change it. I forget why but I'm sure I had a good reason, probably. don't smoke, kids! or shoplift if you think you might get caught. kidding etc)

Ren argues and bickers with Goro quite a bit in this fic which I enjoyed writing. though they share many similarities, they're very different people -- I thought it would be only natural for them to clash sometimes, though they always come back to each other.

this Frankenren is composed of a bunch of headcanons, a lot of which were influenced by/shamelessly stolen from friends. I love him very much. thanks to everyone who helped me build my Ren along the way!

disability

goro has a disability in this fic-- single-sided deafness-- which I included because I felt it was unrealistic for him to have escaped from the engine room with no lasting consequences. I was pretty conscious of portraying it respectfully and realistically so I did my research on the condition. this source was helpful as a personal testimonial from someone who has this condition about how it affects their life.

by the way, goro's hearing aid in this fic is a CROS hearing aid, which is designed specifically for people with single-sided deafness.

one of my favorite moments in the fic is the brief conversation Goro and Ryuji have about their respective disabilities in chapter 2 -- it's short, because I didn't think either of them would really be enthusiastic about opening up to each other at that point lol, but it's nice.

I welcome criticism of how I handled this part of the fic from anyone in the Deaf community -- I'm not perfect and don't have firsthand knowledge.

mental health

obviously goro is not doing great mentally in this fic for many reasons. I have written a lot of goro-centric fics, but this one required really tapping into the headspace of a flawed person who has been traumatized & manipulated and is dealing with immense depression and guilt while recovering. like many (most?) writers I draw from my own past experiences and emotions while writing, which made this a particularly taxing fic to work on, and is definitely one of the reasons it took so long to finish 🥲

other than that I'd say one of the most difficult things was being realistic while avoiding melodrama, and portraying a real story of recovery/imparting positive messages without being too cheesy, which made some of the self-help book sections hard to write.

if you relate to goro's depressive thoughts in this fic, I hope it can be an affirming story for you. I also hope you're taking the time to reach out to people who can support you and practicing self-care.

the ending

I actually don't have a ton to say about the ending because I'd like to leave it up to interpretation. however, I will say that the ending is not the original one I had in mind when I started the fic. I'm not sure how people will react to it (if you've been following this fic maybe you'll just be happy it got an ending at all LOL) but I hope it didn't feel like it came out of nowhere.

concluding thoughts

compared to my other p5 works, this one isn't as popular even though I do consider it my best, which I will admit is disheartening. the release of p5 royal also created a new canon in which this fic does not take place, which I imagine certainly doesn't help. despite this, I got some lovely long, thoughtful comments and even occasionally saw people on social media discussing how they enjoyed this fic despite it being unfinished, which always made me super emotional. trust me, in those 4 years that this fic was lying dormant, each new comment motivated me to crack open the Google doc again and ultimately finish this work. let this be a testament to the power of comments and the ubiquitous egotism of fic writers. or writers in general, actually. thank you so much for your kindness!

if you actually read all of this, thank you again! I do like talking about this fic so feel free to ask questions or give feedback via my ask box, retrospring (linked on twitter) or ao3 comments.

I just ran a word count on this and it's like 2.5k words. good lord. bye

[elysianstars]

Persona 5 Playthrough Commentary, Part 5/??

Looks like my theories on what happened with Futaba's mother were pretty accurate, then. Ouch.

I still don't get why her sin was wrath and not sloth. That means there's sloth, greed, and envy left to tackle, so three more Palaces if the pattern keeps up?

Pleased to see Akechi getting dragged now, for criticising the Phantom Thieves. Serves him right for picking the fight. Still, every time he invites me out somewhere, I will put on my clown shoes and go skipping merrily to meet him. It's Complicated.

The Futaba Rehabilitation Mission was fun, right up until someone mentioned swimsuits at the beach. Then I felt a terrible sense of impending dread. The only bright spot amid that cringeworthy nonsense was Yusuke's aesthetic lobsters.

It's frustrating, because in other circumstances Ryuji is great, but put him within a certain radius of a girl and his sense of decency plummets. Ironic, considering one of his first lines of dialogue was to call out Kamoshida's behaviour. Be better, bro.

Morgana seems sad and I'm concerned. Why is everyone else not concerned too.

Hawaii? Who goes on a school trip to Hawaii? Sure okay then. When Yusuke turned up too, I was fully prepared for him to admit he got distracted and managed to take the wrong plane. Also I have given up hoping Ryuji will be better. At first I really liked him, but I think I'll have to stick him on the ignore pile, with Mishima and the fortune telling scammer confidant.

Speaking of the fortune teller, I was looking forward to seeing how Sae would mention her, since some of her 'you must have known a person with skills like this' accusations have to reach a bit. Sadly, she did not outright accuse the Phantom Thieves of getting magic glimpses of the future.

WELL. It looks like someone did take care of the headteacher, even if it wasn't the Phantom Thieves! I'm not sorry.

The fact that Akechi sees the gang head into a Palace, and doesn't turn up as a panicking outsider soon afterwards, kinda illuminates things doesn't it.

The spaceport started off so nicely. New party member who's adorable in her little musketeer getup, fun design, good music. But actually, fuck everything else about that dungeon with its annoying mechanics and the most miserable godforsaken boss fight I have yet endured.

You know what, I don't even care he got assassinated at the end. Eat the rich. And now everyone is going to complain and blame the Phantom Thieves, and Ryuji will have a tantrum because the hypothetical girls he wanted to impress wouldn't be so impressed, and I'll have to sit wearily clicking through all of that.

The game is pushing me to rank up Maruki's confidant now (which I understand is Important), and he's saying increasingly weird stuff. No clue where that's headed!

[omnifatal]

p5r does such a good job building dread with its dramatic irony and if i don’t talk about it i’m gonna explode (p5r spoilers below)

we the player see from a third person omniscient perspective that someone kills Okumura’s shadow after we steal his treasure.

but even before than that Sae asks us in the flash forward what we did to him, implying that something went wrong. so the whole lead up to this palace is tense because we know something is going to go very wrong. the whole thing feels weird, the motivations for going after this guy feel somewhat flimsier than the other ones. the story is that we think Okumura is connected to the mental shutdowns, but Morgana repeatedly says throughout the palace that we haven’t seen any evidence of that, and then someone else will say “oh maybe it’s further in”.

his connection to all this ends up being tangential, he knows a guy who does the dirty work for him but he himself is a pawn in the greater game being played and he gets killed off by that puppet master. but then you have the whole 20 days of Haru being worried (this is her first time doing this so it’s natural) and everyone going “nah it’ll be fine!”

and you the player KNOW he’s going to die. the SIU director literally looks into the camera and goes “haha yes i will kill this guy at an opportune moment”. so you look at the countdown clock and it’s basically “countdown to everything going to shit”. it’s so fucking good. i didn’t actually enjoy the mechanics of Okumura’s palace all that much (it was probably my least favorite boss fight so far) but the sheer tension of it all carries it

and then right after that all goes down, Sae tells you she was the last target. and she asks you if you changed her heart. shit man i dunno the fact you’re listening to me kinda sounds like maybe we did! but it’s ambiguous, would she even know?

we KNOW that the team gets caught in this palace. it’s literally the intro, you’re in a casino trying to run from the cops. the question is, did you steal her treasure first? is she moments away (in the present) from getting killed by the people puppeteering you both? and who is that?

the way the Phantom Thieves go from plucky underdogs and victims of circumstance, to thinking they hold all the cards, back to being desperate kids with their back against the wall is so engaging. i need to know what happens next. it surely won’t be good

also shadow Sae is so hot for no reason

edit: how could i forget the fact we SEE AKECHI SEE US GO INTO THE PALACE and have to sit with that until the school festival when he reveals he knows everything. the way he says “everyone’s here” and futaba even says something about it. i’m gonna be sick.