#when you are just learning to pace
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I actually need some fanfic, where Bruce and Jason are in the middle of some argument, and a casual (and a well-practiced with Dick before) sentence leaves his mouth, something along the lines "How old do you think you are?!", meaning that he is acting childishly. And because Jason is irritated, and his tongue runs loose in his anger, he screams back that he is nineteen, and Bruce just freezes, because... Oh. Jason is nineteen. He is a fucking kid - his kid - that lost years of his teenhood, and was forced back without anyone giving him a space to catch up, with everyone else already treating him like an adult... When he isn't.
#you all don't understand how devastating it is to die like a kid and be back to everyone moving on and expecting you to run with them#when you are just learning to pace#no one give him time to come to his senses#and no one spoke with him about it#just how much derealisation it could bring#do you think jason sometimes still feels like he is a kid despite being so tall and strong#like he realises that he doesn't look like kid but in his mind everyone sees him like one#even though they never treat him like one#DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN#ā lie's rambling#jason todd#red hood#dcu comics#dc universe#dcu#batman#bruce wayne
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stares at the wall and thinks about how much venti loves that itās become a core part of his being and
#AGH !#IM STILL THINKING ABOUT IT !#he got Curious. that was what caught him#he looked at the humans pleading and answered softly ā and he couldnāt help but keep prodding#he made them comfort. he made sure they were safe. and he found himself in the hands of another#and he couldnāt help it . and he couldnāt HELP BUT LEARN TO LOVE !!!!!!!!!#(pacing) the people around ven changed just as they changed ven . DIES !#mond is so so fascinating for this because arguably out of all the archons ven loves humanity so much itās practically a trait#HE LOVES THEM SO MUCH he spent centuries learning how to Human ! (how to perfect his memory)#bard and ven continue holding such a special place for me bc their story is just so.#bard loved ven so much that it impacted ven to this dayāhe remembers and each memory is coated in that adoration and care#HOW HIS FIRST THOUGHT UPON SITTING ON THE COLD STATUES HANDS IS this takes me backā¦.#vennie āthe bardā. you must understand#the black sheep of the family because he /cares/ and loves so stupidly muchā¦..#GAWAH.#me when the inevitable erosion of this world meets relentless love and a desperation to hope#sighs. vemti. < dahlia voice#lantern says stuff
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emily carroll has once again permanently changed my brain chemistry
#i got my hands on her newest book recently and god. GOD#i finished that book and just lay down on the floor for an hour because i had to just absorb it all#it felt like coming out of the theater after watching ATSV for the first time#i was so full of adrenaline and the sheer impact of everything i read was hitting all at once#so perfectly paced so intuitively panelled#it feels so reductive to call myself a comic artist when emily caroll does too#shes so. she's just in an entirely different league#it feels like there should be a different word for her#im so far away from creating anything half as lifechanging as that book was#its so motivating and inspiring but its also like#fuck#FUCK#my work feels so damn juvenile in comparison#emily carroll i owe you my life#i need to rip this book apart (not literally)#i have so much to learn about writing and art#everyone read āa guest in the houseā by emily carroll#i hope she gets all the accolades she could ever want or need#god#i need a tattoo of this book#expeditiously
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Why does Vassago already have merch, we haven't even met him yet
#Celtrist#cel rambles#I don't particularly care how abundant the merch is on shark robot#It literally feels like they'll take a scrap of anything and make it a pin#Like the Moxie Antartica pin Really sir and a bunch others where they're just a random frame from the show#I mean they're FUN frames at least but I swear I've seen some real random ones that don't even make sense to be a pin#AND I'M SORRY WHY DO THEY HAVE SO MUCH MERCH OF CHARACTERS THAT I CAN'T IMAGINE BEING THOUGHT TWICE ABOUT#Sallie Mae fine I can see why people like her and want merch#Chaz is pushing it especially seeing as he's pretty dead but fine I suppose he has his fans#Glitz and Glam? Okay you already fucked up not going with their beta designs but who really was looking at them and thinking āI want merchā#But fine. I'm sure they have their fans#BUT FREAKING MUFFY?? THE VET RECEPTIONIST? WHO TF WAS ASKING FOR A PIN OF HER? DID YOU EVEN KNOW HER NAME?#They do that shit all the time and it aggravates me. They seem to go by a āquantity over qualityā thing.#Which their quality is great btw but the quantity of things they have for characters that don't even matter and are seen once is rediculous#Also when I was gonna look up when we were gonna meet Vassago I saw he was an overlord in the pilot#Curious if that's gonna stay. What's to say overlords can't be hellborns or goetia#Is he a goetia? Not sure.#P-point is I like their merch and the new batch seems to mostly be uniquely made to be merch and I like that#But the amount of āgarbageā (that's mean but best way I can put it) merch that has a character little to no one would care about#Or is essentially JUST a screen grab from the show is annoying and just pointlessly fills the shop pages#And while I see from a business perspective why they'd put Vassago out especially since some already like him#I also just think it's silly for him to already have merch when we haven't seen his character other than in the trailer#Surprised they don't have merch of satan out yet lol#Okay but I would've approved only so they could make a krampus joke with him#Granted I don't care about Helluva as much as Hazbin#But can't help to be more critical of it when it has a lot of problems Hazbin has aside from pacing#But absolutely NO excuse or leeway for the reason of the sloppy writing that's present#Lemme reiterate my good ol' phrase here:#You're not in the Sonic fandom for like 22 yrs and don't learn to be critical of the media you enjoy lol#rant
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#Marvel#Daredevil#Born Again#If the pacing of BA has no haters I'm dead#I've never shipped Frank/Matt#(Not because I hate it. It just didn't spark for me in the right way)#But BA 1x04 is probably the closest I've come#It almost had me I think#But UGH it's like they were playing the thing at 2x speed or something#I could barely enjoy any of it DESPITE how well some of it was written/acted#Can I get FIVE SECONDS for a character's impactful line to have an impact before we're barreling into the next bit of dialogue?????#I would have sacrificed every moment of Matt flirting with the ADA to have more time in the Frank/Matt scene#Remember in Defenders when Stick died and Matt woke up in the police station and they gave Charlie like 15 seconds to cram in mourning?#Yes he acted it greatā as well as he couldā but that doesn't mean the scene wasn't inappropriately rushed in spite of its weight#THAT is how I feel every. single. time BA has a dramatic scene#Dario said he doesn't like dialogue over action and I BELIEVE HIM#Don't worry you didn't have to tell us#It shows#God I hope he learns his lesson for S2#Because this is not an acting problem or even entirely a writing problem#It's a directing/editing problem
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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End of last week I kept a teenage boy to help me with something after class as a pretext so that I could speak to him about his attitude, decided at the last minute to say nothing and just let him go with a āhave a great weekendā and itās so funny but I think he knew and sensed that lakskskskss
#maybe I am giving him too much credit#anyway I was so glad I let it go#a huge weakness of mine is sort of over-teaching sometimes#being so ready to pounce (so to speak) and just being in kind of overdrive mode#because I notice a lot and see a lot and want to speak a lot#and I know itās sooo good when I just let that go#and let them and me breathe#I do think he felt how close he was to danger though#I could see it on his face in such a funny way#anyway I read a classroom management book recently that put into words a lot of things I always feel#specifically about the things you canāt do to damage the relationship you have with them#and it didnāt say it in a cheesy way but in a really compelling and practical way#that emphasized the importance of fairness and trust#with kids. and how they often donāt get it but instead get adults lashing out at them and going through all of their (the adults) emotional#paces kind of AT the kid. and how damaging and cruel it can be#and it was really validating because often I feel like I āshouldā do something with a kid#disciplinary wise. or demanding their respect wise#and I often donāt because my instincts tell me not to and itās really good every time I donāt#because it would drive kids away!! and make them hate me or worse lose respect#the book was like you can win their respect but the bar is high. and also you canāt demand it#and also you have to be consistent and fair. they have to know they can trust you#to behave like an adult. and it is sooooo hard#I have an appointment today and I am awake nervous and anxious#and reflecting on everything#OH WAIT. I also read something LIFE-CHANGING which was that as a teacher you got to learn to lose the battle#when a kid is disrespectful to you#stay calm. do nothing. breathe. look at them.#and then only after the kid has moved on and forgotten about it do you hand out the consequence#which is also why you have to have a plan in place ahead of time for enforcing good behavior. anyway. LIFE-CHANGING ADVICE#teaching tag
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Something I love sm about like neurodivergence being more understood now among ppl my age is that I donāt try and mask my stims anymore and it makes potentially overwhelming experiences so much more enjoyable or easier to handle. Like certain experiences used to be hard for me to be present in because of how overwhelmed I was but now I can wear a mask and headphones and shake my hands and click my teeth as much as I want and suddenly Iām having an amazing time. And I š«¶ my audhd friends for understanding and being the same as me gah itās nice to be understood š©š
#not snz#it also helps w not having emotional crashes after good experiences#when I was a kid Iād come home from really good experiences and have a meltdown#because it was so jarring for the thing to suddenly be over#but today I came home from my concert and I just paced around happy stimming for like ten minutes#I didnāt just have to force myself to put away all those emotions because there was no where for them to go#just got to *feel*#until I felt adjusted to it being over#itās so nice to learn abt how to care of yourself and esp healing if you were a kid who didnāt understand why you felt the way you did#and thought something was wrong#anyways#thank you for coming to my ted talk lmao#<3 <3 <3
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You raise a good point about Ash possibly weakening from all that Ash-Greninja usage. I can't help but imagine him *eventually* learning to pace and space out when he uses the Bond Phenomenon lmao. Buddy, your own health aside, that's probably taxing for Greninja, too! Even for strategic reasons, it's probably better to ration it a little.
To be fair, Ash was using it an unholy amount of times in the League proper and even managed to pull out the giant Shuriken twice (the second time being even more massive and powerful) - and right after that, the Crisis pulled up and he gets hit with Mega Evolution energy before breaking out with the power of the bond. He's definitely not okay, and honestly, neither should Greninja. Let them take a breather before confronting the Megalith, please š
The way I see it, limits is anathema to the Bond Phenomenon, especially in Ash's and Greninja's case. The transformation always occurs whenever they want to push harder in battle, it's the accumulation of their motivation and hunger and drive. It's the synchronisation of their wants lining up into one, and through that, it doubles its presence and its potency. So the biggest challenge isn't necessarily controlling the power or gaining new ones but knowing when to stop, especially when being bombarded with the thought of vanquishing the nearest threat or releasing all power at once (like how they did to get out of the restraints).
So even at their most clear-headed state of minds, the shift to Ash-Greninja is going to take a toll on their inhibitory and self-preservation instincts in order to defeat the opponent in front of them (and the next and the one after that), so it's definitely going to take a lot of practice to learn how to ration its usage and so not suffer its effects as much. Great news is with age comes wisdom! Bad news is, where is Greninja after the Crisis (according to JN, wacking weeds on his lonesome :'c)?
#diancie delivers#not to say that ash (and greninja) aren't getting accustomed to it#but that every time they do they end up pushing it further lol#so it seems like they're weakening but they ARE stronger than they were before#just still maintaining that same level of stupidity#again this makes the scene of ash allowing alain to save chespie in the end so powerful#because even with ash-greninja by his side he doesn't barge in or try to play hero or even attack all the crystals haphazardly#and not only that!!! but the fact that he's able to command someone else's mega charizard?? a mon that ash always had#trouble 'controlling' (OG) and managing the use of himself (start of johto)?? it says so much about how much he has grown already#in the crisis himself. like maybe he didn't understand pacing in the league#but when trouble besieged kalos he actually got into a more focused state of mind#where not only he had to learn to work with others to neutralise the threat but also know his own role in the problem itself#i love how the bond is just ash and greninja hyping themselves up until they both collaspe from the physical stress lol#this is why you need friends people. to tell you your limits when you're too blinded on your own
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sure, we can laugh he thinks he's gonna get Greenland somehow, Panama Canal, etc
But also remember that, among many other things in its near thousand pages, Project 2025 specifically outlines and plans for everything up to boots-on-the-ground resource wars even against established allies.
And it maybe puts a bit more stark context to how he's already gunning for this shit before he's even sworn in.
Cheers! š»
#tw alcohol#us politics#like. i am NOT trying to get anyone to panic. the whole opposite of that.#the brakes are off. it's electric boogaloo time#we cope how we can#just try to brace for the drops. and keep all limbs inside the vehicle#and as always: find irl community/ies offline now. if only to supplement#for if/when digital is no longer available or accessible#ESPECIALLY if you are disabled or have disabled loved ones#know your local resources!! that includes charities and advocacy groups and libraries and warming centers and#and while im at it. learn YOUR SPECIFIC elected reps. watch them closely and write them OFTEN#email/call/etc#whatev#rambleramble bullshit time#i promise im not trying to be negative im very. Bracing Myself. planning to pace myself#just ... gonna take it one day at a time
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*takes a drag of cigarette* I need to reread Monster by Naoki Urasawa

#i think everybody needs to read Monster. it's one of the few medias for adults that very confidently takes the microphone#and says 'the world is cold and hard but it doesn't need to be and if you believe in life you do not need to stop!! people will tell you#that you need to stop. people will tell you that you should give up. that you're childish and immature and naive. but if you believe#in life don't give that belief up. you don't need to give in. if you believe in life then believe!'#and i genuinely love it with my heart and soul. it's one of the few mainstream stories i know that looks you in the eyes and goes#'and anyway I don't really believe that emotions make you a good person and not having them makes you evil. i think#that people can do good and lack emotions.'#okay i think it's actually the ONLY story like that.#it's genuinely very close to my heart#because I believe that society sees optimism and faith in humanity and mercy as values that are for children#you are supposed to grow out of them. people who were once kids and complained about every antagonist dying become adults#who complain about Ste//ven Uni//verse not executing the diamonds with a guillotine.#this is the desired outcome. Kids are allowed to believe in change and growth and rehabilitation; adults are not.#Adults are supposed to be cynical; bitter; and demand punitive justice. that is what it means to be an adult.#teenagers are on thin ice - some media aimed at them can be optimistic (eg Mad//oka Mag//ica*) but some is dark and edgy (eg Tok//yo Gh/oul)#sorry for using that as an example i just couldn't think of anything else#*it IS optimistic. after all it says that hope and love will prevail and that those are values worth living for. it doesn't believe that#wanting and desiring are evil things and it says that both selfishness and selflessness are ok. that IS optimistic in my book#and anyway i have deep respect for all media for adults that has faith in humanity#which is why I'm actually a really big fan of the concept of Doc//tor Wh//o. i don't watch it and it's waaaayyyy too fast-paced#for me but I've seen one episode and learned that jesus people aren't kidding when they say it's very aggressively pro-humanity#and I love it for that. like damn the people making this truly do believe that people are not inherently evil and that humanity can be good#and it's a mainstream show. 12/10 i want to cry whenever i think about that#but anyway yeah read Mon//ster it's everything to me
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i think the best way i can articulate why this episode is my favorite of the whole show so far is that it was so emotionally gratifying i don't even care about the pacing issues
#like there was a scene i thought could have been cut. and i felt like it went a tiny bit too fast in some areas.#i don't actually think fizz and blitz's relationship mending was rushed or forced but ik that's an unpopular opinion.#but like..... i am a WRITER. picking apart narratives and storytelling functions is literally what i do entirely#and it is a very good skill to be able to detach yourself from the technical meta and know when to just... allow yourself to be entertained#not to say you can't ever criticize writing; or the writing of this show specifically; because it CAN struggle#(i think s2e5 had some massive tonal/pacing issues that can't really be overlooked)#but there comes a point at which you can decide to cling to nitpicks and tear the show apart#or just. accept that its a silly low stakes comedy cartoon and focus on how it makes you FEEL instead#again like s2e5 is a good example i feel bc the writing was SO underwhelming that it was actively distracting from the story#but in s2e6 i was so emotionally invested and consistently entertained that i didn't even MIND the rushed scenes or anything#like. im banging pots and pans together does this make any sense. this show is meant to be entertaining first and foremost not#subject to rutheless criticism of the writing and technical development. learn to have fun with it and if its not fun you can leave!!!#mine#helluva boss#helluva boss oops#e: oops
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I refuse to run so other people can walk!
It's not a deep metaphor. I'm short and refuse to jog to keep up with giants. If you want to walk with me, let me walk.
#shorties#short people problems#short people things#I used to wear myself out so others could walk normally#now I walk at a leisurely pace for me#if they refuse to slow down for me I guess they get to walk alone#it's funny to see how long it takes them to realize they've left me in the dust#lessons will be learned#please let me just walk#I don't want every leisurely outing to be a workout where I get an asthma attack#the slowest person sets the pace#so nobody gets left behind#also on hikes where people stop and rest to let you catch up#then when you catch up they all go again so you never get to rest#stop that!
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getting into bob ross again cause of jet set radio. the pipeline is real.
#jetsetradio.live#bob ross#jet set radio live#jet set radio#jet set radio future#jsr#jsrf#jsrl#sega#shoutout the channel 7 on jetsetradio.live tv#shoutout jetsetradio.live tbh#getting me back into listening to music#i havent listened to new music in so long i feel like im losing a part of myself#but with this website its kinda making me remember that theres no rush and i can do it at my own pace#cause really i was holding myself back cause i felt like i had to do all these arbitrary things i dont feel like explaining rn#and with work it felt like i had no time to just sit down and really enjoy it all the way through#but i have so many songs that i want to listen to and its ok to just listen without too much thought#and i can listen to what i want when i want and im still learning more about what that means since i started ''listening to music'' ~8y ago#which is really as far as id say i started trying to seek out music instead of listening to whatever was put on in the car#or when i would flip through the channels of/listen to the cds my parents had bought on the radio/cd player we had#the stations were mostly very scratchy for reasons im not educated enough to know#but when you find that one channel that plays the music cleanly its so magical#miss that thing so much#this is really a trojan horse post#lolz#goombs big day in#secret goomb thot#š±
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Inigo loves Archie so much it kills him inside :ā)
#just pav things#I noticed something about their dynamic. or maybe itās closer to remembered.#See electric guitar on itās own is not complete without itās heartbeat. The drums.#My firm belief is that I would not enjoy nearly as many tunes if it werenāt for their dictated pace as well#My best example (and sorry for the predictability) is pqās F.O.E.. Pay attention to the melody line.#These two instruments are so complementary to each other!#And I think thatās why I made Inigo a drummer way back when#You know Inigo consciously decided on thatā#He just wants to be there for Archie he wants to be there WITH Archie#who used to be a guitarist if you recall~#And this is still reflected in more recent incarnations!#He trained himself to be ambidextrous because he thought it would be a cool thing to show off to Archie#Heās so incredibly academically inclined because learning how to speak and do mathematics was how Inigo bonded with him#Being able to show off what he learned and getting the encouragement and congratulations#He admired Archie as an older figure in his life before everything else yāknow#He was a literal toddler how was Archie NOT supposed to imprint on him.#After all he paid attention to him#Held him close on cold nights to help him fall asleep. Sharing the warmth of body and breath#And I think this is so crucial to understanding Inigo and events like his hysteria moment#He runs off of so much fear which is driven by his LOVE for those around him#He loves Archus so heās scared about what effect he had on him after the incident#He loves Cynthia so he maintains his distance so he doesnāt lose her too#And the resulting isolation destroys him. His true heart is left in dormant sleepiness being kept hidden for so long in sheer anxiety :(#Now if only if there was another Dandelionā¦. ;)
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@beatingheart-bride
"Not at all!" Randall insisted brightly, smiling at her receptiveness to the idea, saying, "They're still probably up; tomorrow's a day off for both of them. They like to stay up a little-Ma likes to catch a little late-night TV while she knits, and Pa usually tries to get in a few chapters of his latest book before he hits the hay."
He could picture it in his mind's eye, the lights of his house still warm and bright as his folks went about their evening: His mother, all curled up in her favorite chair, contentedly working needle through yarn while she caught a late-hour rerun, probably Starsky and Hutch or Columbo. Knitting was both a very relaxing hobby for her and she loved what she created, often making blankets to sell at the seasonal bazaars. Sometimes some of her patients and their families dropped by to pick up a blanket, which made her the happiest, knowing the youngsters would love them.
And, of course, he could see his father all stretched out on the sofa (sometimes preferring it over his rocking chair, especially when his leg was bothering him), glancing occasionally at the box TV screen before turning his gaze back to the page-at the moment, he was working his way through Stephen King's Salem's Lot, a book he was very excited for his son to read next, wanting to know if it would scare him just as much as it did his old man.
"They won't mind at all," he added warmly. "I think they'd be thrilled to meet you-I, uh, I've told them a bit about you, so to get to meet you, I-I think they'd be, uh, very happy to."
#((you're absolutely right! out of randall's mouth; it really doesn't sound so out-of-pocket; like you said!))#((and honestly; wilhelm and june are just gonna love emily from the jump! they've heard a lot about her from their boy))#((and now; on their first date now less; they get to meet her! they get to meet this mystery woman))#((who just turned up out of the blue in their son's life and has got him in such a good mood since!))#((they'll take to her in a heartbeat-but let's face it; the paces tend to just take a liking to emily right off the bat))#((no matter what! and although there will be some heartache later when they learn she's a vampire))#((for now; it's gonna be a very sweet first meeting!))#outofhatboxes#beatingheart-bride#V:Dark Shadows
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