#when i see you again ﹕ threads.

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next

[cybertron-after-dark]

Being constantly surrounded by the presence of a loving God sounds great until you realize you never know when his freaky fuckin eyes are gonna show up to check on you.

And man. They do it a LOT.

[expectiations]

I still find it funny that people call eleven a "deadbeat husband" and their marriage "toxic" but twelve is the "perfect husband" and their marriage "wedded bliss" all because of the few moments we'd seen between 11 and River were them being "toxic". yes of course! let's ignore how the minisodes show how that description isn't true and even how little moments in the episodes themselves – "what? that's it?" (why haven't you kissed me goodbye? are you being sly on purpose so I'd kiss you first?) and "they wouldn't bury my wife out here" and the music room is the heart of the home and it's not a ghost story, it's a love story – show 11 cared and put in the work and yes, they're going to have disagreements like the ones in TATM because duh who doesn't but it does not mean it is the entirety of their relationship but people have taken it and made it the entirety of their relationship.

[crystal-verse]

god i want. an au where it dosn't work. where it's just arr g'raha who's woken up, and he doesn't have all these memories and all these people keep looking at him like they're mourning someone. the world has changed and time has changed and all the people he knows have changed, but he hasn't changed, he was just sleeping, just sleeping, and the world nearly ended several times and apparently he helped prevent yet another end but he has no memory of this. they want him to join the scions. he does not know these people. (he barely knows the warrior of light, now, but did he ever truly know them in the first place?) his little sister is alive and well. she looks at him like a ghost. she's changed, and she's older than him now. he acts bratty and loud and brash to cover up the fact that he does not know anything it seems, and he is tired but he was sleeping for so long, so how could he be tired?

he doesn't know these people. they seem to know him. he wonders if he'd killed someone, when it was him and not that exarch who woke up. he wonders if it should have been him who was "killed" in that way, if it is him that lives and not that man who had known and become friends with all these figures from legend. he wonders if he'll always be fated to be a historian one step back from everything, because he simply cannot be a hero.

[demodraws0606]

People complaining about Tsukasa5 already are pissing me off, because like, it's so unbelievably obvious what this event is trying to do and the fact that people are so hung up on "urgh dur tsukasa strong why can't he do a wall climb".

Like, first of all, a lot of Tsukasa's strength has been used as comedy before and also it's never been said that Tsukasa could specifically do a wall climb before so people calling this a retcon or a stretch is really dumb to me.

Sure we can make jokes about it, but this is not like a serious writing problem or anything.

Also are we just gonna ignore the fact this event is literally just a reference to his 3rd event in a silly trenchcoat. Or the fact that this is obviously meant to be WxS's downtime and training arc to prepare them to face the loose plotpoints in the future?

His inner dialogue when chasing the ninja is very clearly a reference to the whole Pheonix thing, how he can't reach it no matter how hard he tries.

The wall climb is like an extremely fucking on the nose metaphor to him climbing over his issues as an actor.

THERE IS ALSO THE WHOLE THING THAT HINTS THAT TSUKASA CAN ONLY OVERCOME HIS PROBLEMS IF HE HAS HELP FROM OTHERS (AKA tsukasa would've literally BEEN INJURED, if it wasn't for the fact the troupe's leader was there).

In fact this literally followed an event aka Tsukasa 4 where he FAILED to do his role correctly.

It's almost like this event is meant to be a transition point between Tsukasa 4 and 6, where Tsukasa builds up the knwoledge on how to face his problems.

But no this is just mid event because it's very silly and "wow plot is stupid why can't tsukasa wall climb".

WxS fans are slowly just turning into VBS fans in terms of how whiney they're being i swear

[antisocialxconstruct]

I don't think I'll be able to do much more with this until the eyes and paw pads arrive BUT we love a progress comparison in this house

[0825inee]

[balladetto]

hh...hii.

[taviokapudding]

My dad and I were chatting before bed when he said "damn shame Republicans hate Democrats too much because you almost saved the United Healthcare ceo"

And I stared at him in confusion until I remembered I convinced Democrats to write the active shooter alert system bill in 2022 & Republicans said no. Since my Twitter is gone, the thread of me @ everyone is gone. And when Trump got re-elected, I removed the video discussing the bill concept for public comments. It fully slipped my mind because I went from pulling teeth & being reluctantly patient to full on cussing, cursing, and hexing the government by the end of 2023.

I hope that Twitter DC staffer is having a good laugh- I bet their bosses are pissed wwwwww

I don't remember the exact wording I wrote to the White House when I cussed out Biden for funding war crimes (2023) & the bill itself (2022) but I did list consequences I foresaw that are happening now, so suck to suck if nobody listened & are on the receiving end of massive hexes

I guess my dad is right, the GOP technically killed Brian Thompson in 2022

[crossbackpoke-check]

philadelphia where love goes to…..be reborn?? crazy stuff happening here!!

i-

yeah you know what, that narrative makes sense, continue 🤝 philly

[hypokeimena]

it's so absolutely insane that the FR devs seem to be completely unaware that they are hitting the trust thermocline with the userbase re: recently (again) pushing really big art changes four months after release, after promising a hard 45-day window on significant alterations. like the issue isn't whether the art is good the issue is this is like the third time this has happened in the last few years. maybe fourth. how many times do they think they can do this before it seriously impacts whether new releases will continue to bring users (back) to the site.

[crystal-verse]

Call Him By His Name

Thank you for fighting for this world. For believing. Fare you well, my friend -- my inspiration.

[isa-ah]

yall ever end up thinking back on periods of ur life and ur like. bro what

[renegadeofficial]

going to bed now but i am thoroughly enjoying myself playing elsinore this week. i beat the executive dysfunction demons to let myself try something New as my enrichment/winding down at the end of the day and man is it it funky. sometimes i see with my gamedev eyes how it could be a lil more polished but i am rlly invested in the plot and all its little threads

[docnefarious]

late for the meme, but i still wanted to participate!! because holy crap, you made this year so so much better by returning! i missed you and your robo so much!! literally my blog developed so much alongside yours, its like a piece i was missing has returned! i treasure our interactions and plots, esp our lil silly ship here, and even more so, i treasure you as one of my closest friends! i am so beyond grateful you are in my life! you are a wonderful and sweet person, a thrill to talk to, and just a treat to vibe with. i love our movie watching nights, our late talks, our yells and screams, our silly little dash stuff.. everything!!!!!! thank you for being my friend and quite the lovely mutual!!!!

2024 meme

DKLFJSDLFS MIZZYYYY!!!! ♥ oh god I know this is gonna be long but fjsld

I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU HOW IMPORTANT YOU ARE TO ME!!! You are definitely one of my best friends EVER!!! Like in all my life!! 😭♥ YOUR FRIENDSHIP JUST ELEVATES THE HAPPINESS IN MY LIFE BY SO MUCH!! I could go off about how incredible a person you are, and how much I value our friendship!!! I love talking with you, and joking and gushing and plotting and laughing and watching movies and screaming and crying and howling with you!!! I remember all of our things so fondly! And I always will!!!

It really is like a piece of me returned too when I came back to this blog 🥲♥ This blog is a part of me now, I swear LOL. I'm complete again, but aahh, I missed you so much!!!

Hnnng life got away from me as I was figuring things out and switching schools and moving cities and all that agh dlkghjfjs, but I really never wanna leave again jldksl I CAN'T 😭 and I DEFINTELY wanna stay in contact forever now!! Bc such a huge hole in my life got filled when we finally reconnected back in April this year!! ♥ Even before, I often thought about you and missed our jokes and shenanigans! I was honestly missing a big part of myself and didn't even know how badly I needed it lmao! And now we get to goof off together again flskjls 🥲♥ hnnnglkdjs, and it's honestly like no time has passed. It's so special!!

And oh man flkjds, don't even get me started on your writing 😭👏 Your Ratchet has gotta be like the most influential muse to my Nef lkjdfksl. Like so many of my HCs were inspired by your Ratchet 😭 hnngklgjd, I'm getting emotional LOL, BUT I LITERALLY CANNOT PICTURE NEF WITH A MORE PERFECT RATCHET ♥ like lkjflsk, their banter and how they play off each other so well ldsk :') They're an iconic duo to me at this point LOL! Our muses are who I think about when I see them in canon LOL x'D fldkjl

OK I'm just gushing now, but it's so crazy how we both started our blogs almost 10 years ago already dlfkjsld :') We've known each other for so long!!! And I just love how our muses developed alongside each other together, and have been through so much, and :') !!... ok Nef'll never admit it unless some big angst happens LOL but Ratchet's totally his best friend (and only friend tbh lmaao) in our post-a4o verse lfkjsl 😭 (even he doesn't wanna admit it BUT IT'S TRUE!!!) he has the photo saved (you know the one) and can't picture life without his arch-'enemy' now LOL! he'll destroy Ratchet in Smash Bros for making him care lolol

Augh dlfkjs :') but yeah, I could go off about how much of a void has been filled since I returned and we started talking again!! I'm just so happy we get to continue all our silly antics and ships and plots and dumbass jokes (THE FACE! THE BUSHES! THE OLD MAN!) it's just... 😭👌so incredible. ILU MIZZY!!! ♥

[purplebass]

Thought about Lila's trauma and drinking as her copying mechanism to deal with her emotions (in relation to her relationship with Kell but also with Alucard) so I wrote a post because I had so much to say :)

Special mention to @bluecichlid because your comment under my Lila meets her father again fanfic inspired part of this post so thank you lol

tw: alcohol mention, tw: trauma mention, tw: anxiety mention

We know from bits here and there that Lila's father was an alcoholic and she often ran away from home and he didn't even notice. This forced Lila grow up fast and her needs were never met. Lila using her father's copying mechanism to avoid dealing with things (mostly emotionally related) is not surprising. No one taught her what in psychology is defined as "emotional literacy", which is the skill to understand/deal with emotions related to oneself and the outside world. She learned that by herself by trial and error and observation, but of course this human skill is also sharpened by interactions a person has with their caregiver(s) and with their peers, which help us regulate our emotions and act according to what society expects us to do. From the look of it, Lila doesn't seem to have had any meaningful relationships after she left her father for good. Barron was a fatherly figure to her but she never truly let him in. Then she met Kell, and her life began to change because he was the first person with whom she was able to make a deeper connection. Then came Alucard, with whom she equally shares a deep connection which is different from the one she has with Kell, and many many more. I only mention them because they are important for the discourse I'm making in this post.

Lila likes to drink as a way not to process her emotions and numb them, because she is avoidant and dismissive just like her caregiver used to be. Drinking is her response to trauma. It's Lila's favorite copying mechanism along with fighting (both physical and magical) to blow off steam. It's the quickest way to kick her emotions to the curb because they are too much and she isn't sure she can control them. She doesn't want to be crushed by them, which scares her (hence avoidant but she also wants to feel). But canon hints that Lila prefers to drink alone rather than with someone. She doesn't feel safe drinking with others because she doesn't want to lose control, so she tries not to exaggerate.

Lila's drinking in relation to Kell: trying not to think about him hurting in tftop + Kell rewiring Lila's past trauma into a good one

Her drinking is often emphasized after she goes or someone is going through something. For example in tftop, she goes with the crew to drink after the fight on the vessel where Kell gets hurt by his magic and she knows he needs to be alone. She tries to divert her feelings (being worried about Kell and wanting to comfort him but being unable to do so) by celebrating the mission the crew accomplished, but she ends up thinking about him anyway while she drinks by herself.

I mentioned this moment specifically because this is one of the moments in the series where Lila has a positive outcome linked to her drinking, and it rewires her past traumatic experience. When she returns to the ship after drinking, Kell is waiting for her. He pretends to be sleeping because he doesn't want to appear anxious when she's out at night, since she prides of her independence and knows how to take care of herself. But Lila knows that he is waiting and she has an ambivalent reaction to it. She is glad but she also thinks he doesn't need to do that because she doesn't need to be looked after. So Kell tries to meet her in between by pretending to sleep, knowing that he needs to trust her or his anxiety will eat him. Kell fears abandonment as much as Lila does, and by doing what her father never did, he gives her the safety she needs and whom she doesn't dare to ask for from him. She equally gives him the safety he needs when she returns safely into his arms at night.

The same happens in acol while they are on the Ghost. Lila drinks while she plays and loses her boots to Jasta, and Kell gives her his so she can have her boots back. They have a moment before the ship is attacked and Kell asks how much did she drink. Liquid courage makes her honest and she confesses she rarely drinks in company because she doesn't want to be caught unawares.

Drinking and having fun is a way to deal with everything happening (risking to die because of Osaron, Lila finally accepting her feelings for Kell/his feelings for her, dealing with her new identity as an antari). But she instantly sobers up once she realizes that they are all in danger and we see how quickly the adrenaline makes her react to the new situation.

Kell tries to help Lila relax after a bad drinking experience

Another moment I want to point out in relation to Lila, Kell and drinking is when Hastra gives Lila the tonic to make her sleep. Kell gets mad at Hastra for spiking her drink because he knows how much she would hate that because it was done against her consent. When they are in Verose in tftop, in fact, Lila doesn't seem to want to drink at first, but Kell encourages her by saying: "not everything is a trap," and she decides to trust him and tries to relax. It tugs at her heartstrings that he sees her and is learning and trying to silently support her when she doesn't even know she needs support. This is love.

Lila's drinking in relation to Alucard: he wants to get information out of her + he's also a sort of confidante to her

There are other moments where she drinks while she is with Alucard in agos and he's trying to find things about her while teaching her magic. However, when she drinks with him and the crew she is guarded, and she never drinks enough to lose control and never does things she would regret. Her drinking is calculated.

Lila also drinks with Alucard in tftop. Alucard jokes and says "I'm far more fun than Kell," when he asks Lila why she's there to drink. She agrees, but her mask slips because it's easier to show Alucard (who I consider Lila's bff) how she really feels. Lila doesn't openly say that she's worried about Kell but Alucard understands because he is good at observing people just like Lila. She also lets him in her plans to catch the Hand. Alucard was the only one who knew about Kosika, about the Hand meeting and more - things Lila didn't tell Kell. That's not casual. Lila confides in Alucard because he is a friend and because it's easier to talk to him than to confide in Kell, with whom she's romantically involved and was in a difficult moment at that point of the story. She precisely avoids to talk to him about this because she loves him too much and she doesn't want to burden him. She knows he would worry too much if she did, and she doesn't want to add that burden to the emotional baggage he's been carrying for years. It's Lila's way to protect Kell from potential harm.

I wanted to say more things but I said enough lmao. Thank you if you read so far and if you have thoughts, feel free to interact <3