#which i know is good intentioned but rly doesn’t help At All

[hazzasultimatekiwi]

no one needs to read this i’m just talking into the universe tbh

[killugon-truther]

hxh CAA gon rant/analysis

i honestly feel like some ppl judge gon a little too harshly when it comes to his actions in the CAA, specifically what he said to killua in ep. 116.

while i do agree he should apologize (which he did, offscreen and onscreen after killua teasingly mentioned it in ep. 147), i also don’t think that gon’s sole intention was to be cruel and dismissive towards killua.

i definitely agree that that was part of it, he was trying to be harsh in an effort to push killua away. but i do think that he was also trying to push away one of the last good things, the BEST thing, out of his life.

it’s behavior i’ve witnessed in other fictional media and even irl: being a dick in order to push away someone you rly love in order to continue sabotaging and destroying urself w/o them trying to help you. even more so, you can sometimes even see it as protecting your loved one from yourself and the situation at hand.

if there’s one person who can bring gon back from his own darkness or recklessness, it’s killua [ex: ep. 95 when gon literally almost kills morel & killua is able to swiftly snap him out of it]. he can (or at least could, at the time) bring gon back w just a simple touch and a few words, and gon knows that. it’s part of the reason he’s so grateful for killua in the first place— killua is always there for him, esp when he needs him.

but gon doesn’t want killua’s touch or his soothing words anymore, he doesn’t want his help, and he doesn’t want to be saved. and it definitely isn’t bc he doesn’t want killua anymore or doesn’t value him or his friendship, but bc he doesn’t believe he deserves it. he simply isn’t in the mindset to receive any kind of help in the slightest, not even from his closest ally.

gon subconsciously and consciously blames himself and only himself for kite’s death. and gon has shown that while he’s become comfortable and okay with the idea of killua sacrificing himself for him [ex: ep. 70, when both killua and gon are willing to sacrifice killua’s hands during the dodgeball game], he’s NOT okay w killua dying for him [ex: ep. 50, where killua vowed to serve as a distraction for gon to escape, and gon smacks him & seriously seriously tells him that HE’S allowed to talk abt dying like it means nothing like he also did earlier, but killua isn’t]; gon values killua’s life over his own.

gon’s combination of self-loathing and intense misplaced responsibility/guilt and thinking abt keeping killua safe so he can punish himself, while also being in that already very deteriorated mindset during the arc is what lead to those words. gon knew it would hurt, and that was the point.

“it has nothing to do w you” = “kite’s death has nothing to do w you. it was all my fault, so let me suffer for it now alone.”

if he’s at fault for kite dying, then why would he even deserve someone like killua still being at his side? why would killua deserve to be disposed to the same fate as him?

it’s what made me re-think pretty much every “thank you!” gon has given to killua; there seems to be moments of gon being so grateful bc he doesn’t entirely or always believe he deserves killua being at his side and having his back no matter what [ex: ep. 61 where gon felt guilt for killua having a spell on him, walking away from the ppl who could have possibly helped, & helping him in order to find his dad, thinking all of those things are his fault, and then thanks killua whole-heartedly right after: “killua… thanks. i’m glad you came with me. no- i’m glad i got to know you!”].

someone loves him, despite his selfishness (that’s not an insult btw !! all hxh characters can be selfish) and other faults. killua is still staying by his side, refusing to leave him no matter what. killua isn’t abandoning him (don’t even get me started on my belief of gon’s abandonment issues and how it affects his low self-esteem and self-loathing; his guilt often overrides his sense of self-preservation and triggers his black-and-white mindset).

and while i also doubt that gon was aware of the lovers’ suicide (“shinjiuu”) killua planned to commit w him (ep. 121) but if he did, then i can imagine that would influence in actions in pushing killua away even more. i think one of the last things gon would ever want killua to do is die for/w him; why would he, when killua’s life is sm more important to him?

i’ve actually seen how it’s become a pattern for gon to display moments of maturity, intelligence, and self-awareness, but for it to easily become glossed over and he then gets stereotyped as a one-dimensional, black-and-white character when i think he’s more complex than that.

it’s not that big of a deal ofc, but it’s just interesting to see some ppl come to conclusions such as “gon is a selfish monster and a terrible person who doesn’t care abt killua” or smth like that.

if u have any opinions, comments, and/or criticisms, pls let me know !! hope you enjoyed this.

[luigis-wetdream]

ok i've just found ur blog and i already get such a big sis vibe from u being chill just answering random questions abt life and stuff so i wanted to ask abt first times (i hope it isn't too tmi omg) bc sis 😭 i'm so scared and also like i'm considered sooo late to not yet having lost my v card even tho i know its such a social construct and isn't actually real but y'know that pressure still gets to ur psyche no matter how much u tell urself it doesn't matter like.. idk.. i'm just rly scared abt it esp with men and how u can never know their true intentions (plus im sooo picky which doesn't help) like the thought of not only having to let ur guard down and fully trust them but also having ur first time is so scaryfjdjd idk being intimate w a man scares me so much plus i know how weird some can be abt the v card thing too and how they can treat ppl who haven't lost it yet like they're some kinda trophy to then throw away which puts me off but then i also have desires and wanna get some d (actual d) so i'm just like?? help omg

valid, babes!! all of my friends lost their v cards before me and i felt so behind, pressured and a little embarrassed. i was like how is it so easy for them when im this nervous??? so i get what you’re saying bae. losing your virginity can be as special or NOT special as you want it to be. losing mine, it wasn’t planned and i actually ended up having a good time with no pain or anything! it’s not going to be like what you read on here , most likely. but that doesn’t mean you can’t make it whatever you want it to be 🩷

don’t let a man know you’re a virgin off rip though if you’re not planning to do anything with him because you’re right, men DO see that shit as a trophy.

it’s also so funny being called a big sister on here because i’m the youngest child out of 4 LOL i love it though. i’m happy you found your way here with us!!!💓

[domirine]

You probably do a lot of life drawing seeing as how perfectly fluid your art always is so this ask might be redundant lol but,, i was wondering what kind of references you usually use? Do you just google similar poses, does it come from your mind, or do you have a go-to app to look through like pinterest?👉👈 i ask bc I struggle a lot with poses and usually when i look them up i end up drawing nothing bc its not. Ever good enough for me/what im looking for lol😔 still not sure how to even draw characters smoochin, rip

thank you, nonny!! i do a lil bit of life drawing, but man i really do feel the same way you do. while i'm happy to show some art when i get it done, the process can be a real struggle.

sorry this is gonna be long and all over the place lol hope it helps tho:

life drawing good: i recommend ditching the idea of finding the 100% Perfect Ref right off the bat. studying anatomy and life drawing (this site has a range of body types and fun poses) somewhat regularly, therefore growing my mental library so that i can try and make whatever pose is in my head happen later, has been more viable to me than spending hours looking for the Perfect Ref.

drawing a bunch of generic people skating without pressure of creating proper character art is good practice, and it primes me to then come up with a skating pose of my own.

ref hunting: i save pictures i might use as refs regularly in a browser folder - good refs, bad refs, boring refs - losing a ref standard can be helpful because at the end of the day it’s what you make with it, so it doesn’t have to be particularly mind-blowing to begin with. you don’t wanna reinvent the wheel or create the most never-been-done-before pose, you just wanna get a thing right.

pinterest is very good for poses, yes, though you have to know how to look for them - i.e. i found that typing out "dynamic pose" will not yield organic results, as opposed to looking up people in motion like athletes, boxers, skaters and such. for fighting, i recommend using photos or clips from (ideally staged lol) fights, as opposed to stock images where the models are standing for a while posing - the former preserves a lot of the movement. i also recommend looking up group photos from events or shows for interesting natural poses and people interacting.

best hot tip of all tho: what helped me most is to not treat references very religiously. don't be tied down by what's in your ref, or not finding the perfect one, because then you're focusing on accuracy and not necessarily on what you wanna communicate with your drawing. if you can't find what you're looking for in full, just use a part that you find interesting, and then bullshit the rest and revise accordingly.

idea-generating can be very hard but you can practice it like any other skill, because having a decent idea of what you wanna draw is helpful - you don't have to have the whole pose visualised 100%. it's the mood, body language and expressions, that i think are more important. looking at refs can help reveal your ideas and intentions, but i will not create them for you i’m afraid.

for example, speaking on characters smooching, i've drawn these using refs in   pretty uptight way with no ideas beforehand - and i find them painfully boring because they're not rly communicating anything aside from a anatomical accuracy (more or less);

i was being too intent on staying faithful to the reference, and they're looking kinda stale to me. the only one that was done without any ref, was the bottom left - which i like! bc it's got spice and it’s portraying some emotion.

but i wouldn't have drawn it if i hadn't already started on the others, so maybe another good tip is to trust the process and not give up mid-work!! drawing stuff you’re not proud of is still drawing stuff, and not everything you create is gonna be satisfying. things are gonna click here and there, but you never know when, so don’t give up on your ugly artsy ducklings!!

[botheringlevi]

hi captain!

i wanted to bring you something for valentines day. i’m sure you’re getting bombarded with flowers and other gifts today so i wanted to make something a bit more special for you.

*hands over glass jar* it’s a tea blend i made myself. it’s black tea with rose petals - don’t worry it’s rly not that sweet. i made sure of that.

*clears throat* i also wrote something for you again like i did for your birthday but this time it’s from me since valentines is about expressing your appreciation for someone.

*holds out a scroll and is visibly nervous*

i really admire your work ethic - you’re one of the most dedicated people i know

i love how blunt you are even if it can come across as rude sometimes which is usually not your intention

i like the way you carry yourself - despite being called humanity’s strongest there’s not an ounce of arrogance within you

you’re good at comforting people even if you don’t believe so yourself (thank you for letting me stay in your office when i wasn’t feeling well - you have no idea how much it helped)

you’re really kind to animals which says a lot about a person

although you’re very attractive and get told so countless times you don’t let it get to your head because you know that there are more important things

you’re a great judge of character

you’re the strongest person i know - especially emotionally

even if you might think otherwise you’re a great leader and many people (myself included) will gladly follow your command knowing that everything will be fine as long as you’re there

i still think about your birthday a lot when i gave you the first scroll - it made me incredibly happy that you liked it and i enjoyed the way you ruffled my hair (i wouldn’t mind if you did it more often)

- 🥛

Oh, did you now…

First, he spots the scroll rolled up in Luna’s hand, not at all dissimilar to the one they gave him for his birthday (which is preserved in a glass case on top of his bookshelf). Every gift he is afforded is special… but something like this makes him especially anxious. Maybe in a good way.

*Is handed the jar of homemade tea leaves, eyes made wide. He’s impressed.*

Thanks… Hopefully it’s as good as it looks.

They explain the gift. Knowing they and they alone wrote it makes him feel as nervous as they look. In a good way?

Reads.

…

…

…

Must try extremely hard not to crack a small smile, but it’s impossible to manage looking neutral, either. He’s quiet for some time as he re-reads #4, #8, and especially #10.

*Timidly* I see. *Rolls the scroll back up with methodical care, and places both gifts on his desk*

Again facing them and their nervous expression, he steps forward and ruffles their hair affectionately. He wants to do more to express his gratitude, but doesn’t know how to ask.

Right… Thank you. It’s… a thoughtful gift. *Meaningful look* Look, Luna. You sure you don’t want something done in return for all this?

[spageddy]

theory - diavolo is nightbringer??

this is mostly a joke but yeah. i’ve seen posts explaining why every side character could be nightbringer except diavolo so i am here to fill that void

disclaimer: i haven’t even finished the first game i’m stuck on lesson 27 cuz my cards are shit

nb spoilers ahead

ok so things that could make diavolo nightbringer:

1. he is old as hell and a demon which nightbringer is probably a demon. and old as hell

4. he is crazy overpowered like do we even know the extent of his powers.. he also controls when and how barbatos uses his time lord powers so he has those at his disposal too

2. has a UR card that’s about apple picking and apples are like the forbidden fruit or whatever, what if it was diavolo who gave adam and eve those shits and that’s why adam was stuck in the devildom for a while? if diavolo is nightbringer that explains how adam knows him, also maybe diavolo felt bad for him so that’s why he told him about the ring that could get his ass back to the celestial realm

6. diavolo and nightbringer’s goals are not necessarily in conflict. diavolo wants to build a better relationship between the three realms and nightbringer wants to bring night to the world whatever that means, probably has something to do with the devildom becoming more powerful than the other realms. maybe diavolo wants to become the ruler of all 3 realms so he can make sure things stay peaceful for everyone

73: one other thing nightbringer wants is for MC to be happy which diavolo also wants along with like the entire cast, however nightbringer doesn’t rly give us a choice in the matter and acts like he knows what’s best for us. diavolo is guilty of this sometimes too and can be pushy when he wants something because he thinks he knows what’s good for other people

94. i think diavolo has good intentions but he’s still a sussy baka just like nightbringer. can’t help being a scorpio.. sure he never lies but he’s still kinda shady sometimes. like the whole deal with raphael threatening war if the brothers don’t go back to the celestial realm. when diavolo agreed to let the brothers stay i was like ?? dude they’re gonna nuke everyone what is u doing. his decision only makes sense if he knew michael was just joshing all along (which he probably did because he can tell when people are lying). but in that case why would u go along with the bit like that when the stakes are so high and giving everyone anxiety? not funny babygirl

15. other sussy baka moments are his comments about destiny and shit, knowing full well he has a time butler who can manipulate the past and future to what he wants it to be (this power is probably limited like diavolo from jojo’s power but still crazy to believe in fate when u can literally choose it yourself)

i don’t think past!diavolo could be nightbringer but he might be aware of his other self’s intentions and that’s how he knows we have a connection and trusts us despite barely just meeting each other in this timeline

8. seems like a really long winded and unnecessarily complicated plan to make us go through 80 lessons then cancel that timeline and send us to the past but diavolo has been known to make some pretty big sacrifices for the sake of his goals. he sent us into the past before in lesson 16 where we died but one version of ourself survived so that apparently makes it all ok, also was going to kick us out of the devildom for the sake of his reputation, and some other stuff i forgor

anyway every other demon king has died in combat (with the celestial realm perchance?) so it makes sense that diavolo wants to do everything possible to save his own ass (and the entire world from getting destroyed by the celestial realm) even if it means some of his other selves get obliterated

or maybe none of this means anything and nightbringer is actually just maddi the witch or some shit. sorry for making diavolo sound like an ass i actually like him a lot i just like coming up with silly theories more and solmare’s bad writing makes it easy

[mieohmy]

𝖢𝗈𝗆𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗍 𝟣𝟢𝟣 | 𝖫𝖾𝖾 𝖩𝖾𝗇𝗈

PAIRING: lee jeno x reader

GENRE: angst, fluff, humor, comfort, established relationship au, college au,  this rly is just a self indulgent fic kjasdfk

WC: 2.1k

NOTES: slight argument/fighting ?? , cursing

SUMMARY: jeno wants your attention, your comforting presence, your love- he simply wants you.

for the bday boy that i treasure sm! happy birthday to puppy jeno <333

ღ

The phone next to you lies untouched, and practically has been for days- or has it been a week already? I mean, it wasn’t your fault that upcoming finals had been taking you to the depths of hell, and you had no choice but to lock yourself at home to study for a week on end. 

Which brings you to day 7? 8? of being holed up in your room all day, memorizing a bazillion tiny printed words and trying to cram as much information as possible in that overworked brain of yours. Getting about 4-5 hours of sleep a day, you couldn’t remember anymore- or even care to remember. Not to mention the added stress that came along with being any normal college student. Wasn’t life just wonderful?

You feel bad for everyone that has tried to contact you over this stressful period in your life (since you completely turned your phone off to eliminate all distractions), but the urge to stop studying completely and just check up on the real world and all its happenings grows stronger. You breathe in -out, constantly chanting ‘self-control’ over and over again in your head. Then your eyes slowly open, and you slap yourself one last time as if to say ‘get it together' before diving back into the books.

Just two more days. Two more days and you can finish and not have to stress about finals until results come out. 

At this point, you were surviving off of coffee, tea, random stolen snacks that your boyfriend would bring over from his dorm. 

Damn, when’s the last time you had a proper meal? Monday?

And then you frown. What day even is it today? You glance at your calendar and- 

Goodness grief, it’s Sunday already. 

You almost have a midlife crisis over wasting basically a week doing nothing but sitting at your desk and looking at words, but then again at this point- you’re just over it and want to be done as soon as possible. 

But soon, a weird feeling arises after you recall today’s date- like you were forgetting something. You place a hand over your forehead. Was there something important today? 

And as if the universe read your mind, the doorbell rings.

A giant wave of confusion washes over you. Was someone supposed to come over today?

-and you just completely wiped it from your mind?

You’re still running through your memories as you walk to the door. No, it's not Chae since she has finals too...

Opening it, you’re not at all expecting who was behind it. 

“Jeno-?”

He blinks back at your wide eyes, expression turning concerned, and you rub your temples in exasperation and defeat. 

“Oh, did we have a date today or something? I’m so sorry- I totally forgot.”

His eyebrows furrow. “No, I was just supposed to come over to hang out with you....”

“It’s been so long since we last talked, baby. You haven’t responded to any of my texts. What’s going on?” He promptly adds, staring intently at you. 

You let out a sigh, and jeno notices your tense shoulders and dark under-eye circles. “I thought you knew. Finals are coming up so I’ve been stuck at home cramming for about a week now actually.” 

His frown deepens. “I did know. And still, y/n..” he says in a warning tone. 

You know what his voice implies, you’ve heard it plenty of times at this point, but right now you don’t have to energy to listen to his nagging. “ I know, I know. Just- come in, I guess.....”

To be completely honest, you wanted to send jeno back home- there was still a lot more information left to cover and you obviously weren’t in your best condition, but he was the one who actually remembered your ‘date’ and drove to your place, so you would feel even worse making him go all the way back to his dorm. 

Jeno easily follows you in, biting the inside of his cheek to hold back any comments while examining your place even though barely anything has changed since he last visited- mostly because there was nothing to change when you were in your room all day. 

You walk to the kitchen, getting your boyfriend some water while yawning. Meanwhile, your mind is drifting away, thinking about what topics are left that you have to go over later. “What are we even doing today?” 

Jeno plops on your couch, arms behind his head. “I don’t know. A movie?”

You hide your grimace, immediately thinking of how much time would be wasted watching one, or possibly even more if jeno was feeling it. In the one to two hours of a movie, you could be done with chapter two and three-

“Y/n??”

Your head snaps up. “Yes?”

“Are you gonna come over here or just stand there in the kitchen all day?” he teases.

You shake your head to clear the fog and join jeno on the couch. Scrolling through the options, you automatically snuggle up next to him, eyes blearily watching the moving tv screen. 

He decides on this one animated film, and you’re too drained to pay attention so you simply nod and let the movie begin. But even though you try your best to focus on the storyline and what’s currently going on, your mind keeps wandering off to other, more boring things- your studies, obviously. 

The number of chapters you covered, the slight of chapters you have left, how long you would have to stay up to finish going through your planned amount of information  -all the stressful thoughts swirling in your head, and it only exhausts you more. 

You let out a sigh, and jeno turns to you. “Are you okay? You’ve been sighing nonstop since we started the movie.” 

You clear your throat, biting back a yawn. “Oh- yeah, sorry. I won’t do it anymore.”

Your boyfriend stiffens but doesn’t say anything, attention returning to the flashing screen in front of him. 

You did try. You really did. But your eyelids keep drifting shut and your head keeps slowly lolling forward and snapping back up -it’s not until your forehead accidentally knocks against jeno’s chest that he finally speaks up again. 

“Y/n. You need to take a break and get some sleep. Now.” His tone is sharp and commanding. 

You snap your eyes back open, vision blurry. “No- it’s fine. I’m good, let’s keep watching.” 

The immediate switch in the air is scary, jeno swiftly reaching for the remote and pausing the movie to look at you dead straight in the eyes before setting it back down with a loud, clattering noise. “You need to rest. I can tell from how tired you look, and I know you’ve been studying for so long, so why is it that hard to just relax for a little?” 

You groan, distress breaking through. “I can’t, okay? You already understand how stressful school is and how important my upcoming tests are. I know you’re just trying to be kind and thoughtful but-“ 

“But what?” He cuts you off, the frustration he’s been hiding for a while finally revealing itself. “Taking a rest from burning your brain out isn’t going to kill you, y/n.”

Your hands at your side clench and unclench, a wave of emotions overcoming you. “I know that. But I can’t afford to have a break now.” Everything suddenly feels overwhelming, and your voice comes out strained and uncontrolled. 

“I’m almost there, jeno. It’s so close, and if I stop now, I’ll feel like a failure.”

He laughs a short and echoing bark. “How do you think I feel? I was trying to brush everything aside and act like it was all fine, but it’s certainly not when you’re like this.”

You falter. 

Jeno gets up, making direct eye contact with you even though his body is trembling and his voice is shaky. 

“I spent the past week just lying in bed and worrying about you- if you were eating okay and getting enough sleep. I was constantly texting you reminders to take care of yourself, only to find out from your friend that you turned your phone completely off.  Do you know how shitty of a person I was feeling? I didn’t want to be a distraction to you because I know how much you care about your grades, but it’s killing me, y/n. I want to be there for you, but instead, I end up feeling like the worst boyfriend in the world.” 

He shudders before continuing,

“And then I come here, brushing off all my worries since I was super excited to finally be with you after so long, and then I have to see you in such a bad condition. Barely taking care of yourself, barely even surviving on your own just so you can pass your exams that I know you’ll already do well on no matter what. As your boyfriend who wants to help and be here for you, do you know how much my heart hurts?”  

He finishes, but not before wiping away the frustrated tears that appeared in his angry rant.

It takes one beat -two beats, before you immediately spring up, rushing towards jeno and throwing your arms around him. 

He accepts it, burying his face into your shoulder and wrapping his arms tightly around your waist. 

The guilt courses through your body, and you understand. The consequences of your actions hit you, hard, and you know you deserve it all. Jeno just wants to know that you’re here. You’re here with him.

“I’m really sorry,” you murmur into his hair, “I’m really, really sorry, jeno.” 

You hate the fact that you can still feel the slight wetness of his tears soaking through your-technically his- shirt. You pull back, looking straight into his eyes to make sure he knows you’re being genuine.

“I promise to pay more attention to myself, and I promise I won’t ever let it happen again. I won’t shut you out anymore... and you can come over to take care of me whenever you want, okay?”

Jeno slowly nods, and you softly wipe away the corners of his red eyes of any wetness.

He pulls you closer to him again, inhaling your scent one more time, and you finally let yourself go. 

After about a minute of just enjoying each other’s warm embrace - one that you feel like you haven’t felt in so long- you allow yourself to smile and pull back just enough to place a kiss on his cheek. 

“Was my baby just lonely and missed me too much?” you sing in a soft voice. He lets out a disgruntled noise in response, shaking his head against your body. 

But you both know what the answer is.

“C’mon, let’s go to bed.” You tug his arm easily to your room, putting off your studies, at least for today.

“You’re really gonna take a break this time?” Jeno asks, eyeing you carefully. 

You grin. “Yes? Besides, I know you’re always down for cuddles.” 

You drag him to the bed, taking his arms and wrapping them around your body as exhaustion quickly fills you. 

You fight yourself to stay awake as long as you can to enjoy jeno’s presence, but he notices and hugs you even closer if possible, whispering softly, “Go to sleep, baby. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

And before you finally drift off, you sleepily murmur, “I love you, jeno. Like, a lot.” 

Even after you fall asleep in his embrace, he stares down at you, softly kissing your forehead.

I love you too. 

bonus bc i adore jeno too much :

“Jeno- for the last time, you’re not a bad boyfriend.”

“I know.... but-“

You shut him up with a quick kiss.

“You’re the sweetest.”

Another kiss.

“Funniest.”

Peck.

“Handsomest.” 

His ever so growing smile freezes. Jeno looks at you, a surprisingly solemn look on his face. 

You raise an eyebrow, confused. 

“......even more than Nam joo hyuk?”

Ah. He had to go for the favorite actor. 

You swallow, battling an intense internal war before begrudgingly nodding. “Okayyy...fine. You are.”  

He crosses his arms. “I’m what?”

You roll your eyes, whining. “I already said it!”

Jeno shakes his head firmly. “Say the whole thing.”

You take a deep breath in, internally apologizing to your beloved actor. “......you, lee -verymuchanannoyingbaby- jeno, are more handsome than Nam joo hyuk.” Your sentence is finished swiftly in one breath, words slurring together. It actually pains you to say that. But it’s good enough for your boyfriend. 

Jeno delights in the squeal you let out when he picks you up in his arms to spin you around. 

“Fuck yeah- take that, nam joo hyuk!”

ღ

a/n: anyways im going to go hide away and cry over jeno now ^^

[cishetamine]

the worst person in the world (2021) letterboxd review (already crossposted this to twt but reposting here for………'research'[you'll see)]

funny how i originally thought this movie was adapted from a novel even BEFORE a major character contracted a terminal illness (aka like one of the most common things that can happen to a character in a Realistic Fiction Novel, right after infidelity). it just has that MFA vibe!

this movie feels like a deceptive advertisement for living in norway. isn't it mostly cold there ? (update: i have looked up the average winter monthly temperatures in oslo & theyre actually pretty much the same as where i live. whooops!!)

the music in this is good when it’s good & rly annoying when it’s not

hilarious and insane that norway’s indie comics scene is (or is at least depicted as being) exactly the same as in the US—i.e., dominated by edgy cishet dudes all too willing to use mere shock factor as an excuse for originality

like…he has characters whose names are translated as “Dick Wolf Dick” & “Pedo the Parrot” which, come ON but also that literally is what these guys are like……like. So true besty

& yet ! i also can't help but sympathize w/ the comic boyfriend re: the Great Endless Cancel Culture Debate bc ppl have also told me stuff like, “i hate all the people in your comics”

which like! Fair, i don't intend for my characters to be Nice People (well ok some of them are well-intentioned but also kinda hopeless/lost causes)

but also the bf (well, ex-bf—in more ways than 1!!) is exactly right—comics are where i put all the horrible thoughts in my brain that i can’t exorcize by any other means!

love that she shares my hobby of “lying to strangers at parties”……she’s so cool

this movie has a lot of fun little moments that feel pointily realistic: (e.g.: getting interrupted repeatedly while fooling around w/ someone at a party bc you’ve decided to canoodle one another in the Designated Bed Where Everyone Puts Their {Admittedly Extremely Soft + Sensual} Coats, and now everyone is coming to get their jackets & keeps walking in on u while you're trying to snog)

^ another such moment: when her dad says that the link to the libfem girlpower-vibes sex article she wrote doesn’t work, & it’s up to us to decide if there’s actually an issue with his phone or he was just being squeamish abt sex

i wouldn’t call these "wow just like irl lmao" moments exactly the same as the ones in a coen bros movie, but they’re similar imo ? like, those are always my favorite things abt their films (the violence is fine but usually kind of boring to me at this point. like, okay, he has a gun, great. can we bring back the wood chipper? no, too expensive? well how about the cattle stunner thingy, do you still have that thingamajig laying around?)

nah i'm talking like, the way they make the pauses in an ordinary conversation as awkwardly real as possible. ofc when they do it it's often bc there's some sort of double entendre[not necessarily sexual] going on, like w/ the confusion re: the kidnapping in fargo or the student trying to cheat in a serious man. but lebowski has a lot of fun realistic conversationy stuff that's just plain weird, which i guess i'm comparing this more to?

wait. Holy shit. is it at all true that “most women don’t like giving blowjobs”!?!?!?!? Like What the FUCK. is this a straight vs gay thing??? i don’t get it……what could turn u on more than being good at making yr partner cum??? (ok well i can think of several things actually but literally why are u having sex w/ someone unless it’s mutually enjoyable i——???? honestly this was maybe the least believable part of the movie 4 me :// can straight women PLEASE weigh in on thisPLEAAAASEEEEE!!!!!!)

re: “they’ve housebroken bobcat” I HAVE TO KNOW whether the bit abt removing the cartoon cat’s butthole was in response to CATS (2019).

this movie feels like propaganda from the norwegian board of tourism. case in point: basically all of the action happens in summer. also, that scene where she runs outside and the world is frozen in time feels kinda like an ad. sorry if my brain has been broken by america superb owl commercial culture :(

it’s fascinating to see a film that’s so contemporary & relatable but also not quite my own life??? kinda like the gaggle of cishet-presenting girls i saw on the train recently—bc i was aware of most of the celebrity gossip & news stuff they were talking abt, but i still came away feeling like i inhabit a very different—albeit parallel—world from them. for more context, here is my best try at a transcript of their convo: www.tumblr.com/cishetamine/701574180800479232/lily-rose-depp-they-were-calling-her-a-nepo

(p.s. please don't get mad at me for snooping on strangers, i'm just one of many credulous clods who once heard that u can get better at writing by transcribing how ppl really talk. & from there i got obsessed w/ doing this whenever someone is having an interesting convo near me. also most importantly, i didn't write down any personally identifying info & also these ppl are totally anonymous anyway. so plz enjoy @ yr leisure!)

love how this dude reminisces abt being a Record Store / Video Store / Comic Store guy !!! i.e., he’s an alt bro!!! love that for him. it's so cute that norway has hipsters too<3 squee!

also luv how "i just took a dna test turns out / i'm 3.1% sami" is the norwegian equivalent of “my great grandmother was a cherokee princess” cosplaying indigeneity

^ overall tho, the extinction rebellion-core gf feels kinda way too flat & one-note……but also i literally know ppl who are like that!! like i've had friends who were into radical veganism + environmentalism & it did seem kind of culty……which is not to say that ppl shouldn't be vegan or environmentalist, of course! but i have absolutely seen it turn into Unhealthy Polycule Drama & we've just seen where that leads, cough FTX / EAs, cough

no but it’s fascinating how this depiction of norwegian ~radical~ environmentalism compares to the scene in the US. for instance i feel like i’ve never heard an american state that they chose not to fly across the ocean bc it would increase their carbon footpri——wait no actually yes i have heard this, but specifically in the context of academic conferences, never like, regarding travel for fun. Interesting difference here!

(^ also, those were basically only professors on twitter who were saying that, not ppl i know in real life. so another level of remove from me)

[meanwhile i would chop off one of my less-important fingers in exchange for being able to fly across the ocean, environment be damned] [anyway tbh i figure it wouldn’t be thaaaaaat evil so long as i was able to stay in that other country for at least several months, as opposed to business travelers who frequently fly back & forth. but i would want to stay bc i would be desperate to learn the language!

which language, you ask? why, my answer is—Yes!]

anyway enough feeling sorry for myself for not being rich. time to feel sorry for imaginary movie ppl instead!

“i don’t want to be the sensible choice while she’s the sexy one” damn that makes a lot of sense! i definitely feel that re: pressure to be Exciting & Spontaneous & Ever-Flexible so that ppl will find u attractive / alluring instead of setting boundaries (given the choice between setting a boundary vs having sex with someone hot, i will almost always choose the latte——ah, but you see, posting this in a public forum where people i've had sex with can read it is itself an act of performati——

So about the main character. We don’t get much interiority of her, like aside from the stuff at the beginning abt her various major + career changes, we don't get to hear directly the thoughts she is thinking—not just bc we don't hear much in the way of interior monologue, but also bc she doesn't explain herself to the ppl around her.

like, she didn't tell her then-bf that there was in fact another guy—which like, honestly, if i were in her situation, i might also take the coward's route! especially if she feared jealous retribution from her current bf. but we don't know if she fears that, bc we never see her talk to her FRIENDS, bc for all we know, she doesn't have any!!!!

which feels very……hard for me to believe? bc i have never met a woman who did not have Friends. (& supposedly guys tend to have fewer pals, but even they usually seem to at least have like, Gamer Buds, idk! i know i always did back when i was a Gamer in high school, even if i was kinda withdrawn irl.)

so i'm left wondering—are we supposed to see her as genuinely friendless? & if so, what does that say abt her?

or are we just supposed to assume that the movie doesn't want to show her friends? if that's the case, why would it make that decision??

if we as viewers are supposed to actually believe that she doesn't have friends that she can confide in whom she is not romantically involved with……it rly paints a very specific (& melancholy!) picture of her as a person. bc that's a stereotype i mostly associate w/ Isolated Guys, but yet she is not that! (i would like to be her friend & talk abt photography..)

still not sure how i feel abt the freeze-time gimmick. Like on the 1 hand—it’s giving crazy ex girlfriend tv show. But also………idk it looks kinda cool regardless!

between this & tár, i feel sooo…………something abt watching 2 movies in a short timespan that contain Bitingly Contemporary Cancellation Scenes, & also cell phones………i………hmm.

thinking abt gretchen from twitter, a noble woman fighting for a just cause (telling adult YA fans to get a life), yet whose ratioing ultimately feels sorta pyrrhic to me, such that i have to wonder if it's worth the stress it presumably causes her.

but also, i am much more of a wimp than many people! for instance, a lot of ppl are strong tough athletes who put themselves thru a lot of pain because they find it enjoyable overall! whereas personally i only do exercise when i can convince myself that it's fun (e.g., biking places, swimming in water that isn't freezing cold)

so what i'm saying is perhaps gretchen sees being a Culture Warrior as a noble pursuit &/or lives for the thrill of the takedown, whereas i'm probably conflict-averse to a fault. (also, on a materialist level, she gets plenty of publicity for fighting the good fight—& as an author, building an audience is pretty crucial to keeping the lights on!)

anyway, right—the reason i'm thinking abt her at all in the context of this film is bc of the Cancel Culture Scene. bc i'm sympathetic to both the comics artist himself as well as his critics—bc like gretchen & her supporters always say, i believe artists have the right to be messy & sexual & graphic & painful & problematic & difficult to untangle……both bc i prefer to consume art (like this movie!) that fits that description, & bc that's ultimately the kind of work i would like to create.

but what's weird abt the tv interview in the gym in this movie is that we don't really even get to see exactly what the feminists debating the comics boyfriend are actually mad at him about. it's all vague—probably bc the point isn't the debate itself so much as its effect on his ex-gf! (& we know this bc the camera spends hella time tracking her facial reactions throughout this scene, as opposed to focusing primarily on the ex-boyfriend being interviewed.)

(btw for the record, i've read some of gretchen's writing but not a huge amount, & i think she's quite talented at describing compelling visual scenes, but i do worry that some of her political commentary is just so on-the-nose that it isn't as funny as it wants to be?

like, sure, i hate raytheon tenderqueers as much as any Good Leftoid! obviously imperialist militaries are evil & should be systematically dismantled, & it's sickening seeing the cynical liberal war machine attempt to suck us gays into its awful whirling gears.

but—as we saw with countless lib comedians attempting to parody trump—just bc you're making fun of something genuinely bad, doesn't mean your jokes are automagically hilarious!)

oh right, i was building toward something—namely: it feels like there's 3 sides in the big Cancel Culture Debate these days:

(mostly but not solely) christian right-wingers who hate the gays

young people who ummm [takes a full minute to check something on my phone] believe barnes & noble should sort books by tone indicator & who think fujoshis will trigger the third impact

cool edgy trans ppl caught in the middle of these 2 groups, martyred like that one saint mishima used to jack off to & permitted to do any crime so long as it is judged as being sufficiently badass by the Council of Trans Elders

anyway i was just gonna say: you know how sun tzu art of war has that thing abt how u should make your enemies fight each other instead of u fighting on 2 sides at once?

yeah, i think we should come up with a new discourse designed to do exactly that. or maybe get the evangelicals & catholics to fight again over whether asexual priests are valid or if they have to be volcel to really count. hopefully they'll wear themselves out, & our[if i may be so bold as to number myself among the Edgy Trans] troops of keyboard warriors will be able to reenter the fray refreshed to fight another day!

[dreamteamspace]

They really went there huh

/rp (good lord I rly hyperfixated on this essay huh)

torture tw, abuse tw, manipulation tw, gaslighting tw

So the Dream SMP built a character, once maybe morally gray, who slipped straight into villany with little to no desire to change, and willing to cause a LOT of pain to get his way. Despite this, he doesn’t question what he does enough to stop, justifying his actions with a good intent that doesn’t come close to justifying what he’s done.

C!Dream is unremorseful of what he’s done, he’s quite literally manipulated and gaslit (like actually, not in the way everyone keeps throwing the word around) c!Tommy, almost drove him to take his last life- like, jesus christ. That’s not even to mention blowing up L’Manburg three times, encouraging c!Wilbur, wanting the discs JUST to have power over c!Tommy, etc.

SO, he gets thrown in a box for it so he doesn’t hurt anybody anymore, making his own hubris his downfall (narrative consequence my beloved). This leads us to a good finale - the bad guy, the person who’s caused objectively the most pain and destruction, is now unable to do so anymore, taken down by the person whom he tried to weaken. It is also revealed he was planning on blackmailing and threatening pretty much everyone, but now everyone gets their stuff back.

Good, right?

Especially for the finale, yeah! The message of the finale is good, c!Tommy manages to escape his abuser with nothing more but his clothes on his back and fights his way back to c!Tubbo and his home.

He doesn’t let his trauma (which is still very present!) let him become a terrible person (arguably the way that c!Dream DID let his frustrations make him a terrible person, c!Tommy, despite bearing quite a heavy weight, recognizes when he begins to turn that way and actively works against it).

It shows that while alone, c!Tubbo and c!Tommy were outfought by Dream, but because c!Tommy went the length to ask for help (which he didn’t even really seem to be relying on actually showing up), he wins! It truly is a good message.

C!Tommy escapes his abuser and manipulator, refuses and fights his trauma to not become someone he doesn’t want to be, and defeats his abuser by asking for help and receiving it, even more than he thought he’d get. He refuses to play c!Dream’s “game”, refuses till the very last moment to let c!Tubbo die, to surrender and say goodbye to him.

So, great! Good finale! C!Dream The Villain is boxed like a fish in a prison of, quite literally, his own making. It sent a good message to people. C!Tommy wasn’t expected to forgive him and did, in fact, axe him down twice, causing c!Dream to finally fall from his high horse.

Most media would stop at this point, say the villain is now defeated and never show them again, or have them come back another one or two seasons later, escaped and seemingly unharmed and worse than ever.

Alternatively, there’s a throwaway line, (or, in good media, a genuine, reasonable backstory, complete with remorse and bad role models and complicated situations), that allows the villain to be redeemed.

In GOOD redemption arcs (See: Zuko from avatar tbh), the villain was already never quite as heartless, or stressed their good intent, or felt remorse for what they felt they “had to do”. Then, ideally, the villain takes a looooong time adjusting their habits, regretting their actions and changing until they’re considered redeemed.

Not on the Dream SMP, though.

They don’t stop at c!Dream’s defeat.

He doesn’t dissapear off-screen and is never spoken of again. His life continues on, everyone’s does, just like it would in reality. He doesn’t magically want to become a better person, far from it. So no redemption. But he doesn’t dissapear, either.

They go on to, slowly, stress how awful the conditions in Pandora’s Vault are. c!Bad says c!Dream should be imprisoned, but at least at slightly better conditions. We’re in very VERY morally gray territorry here. Nobody says c!Dream is a good person, of course not, but even c!Bad - who knows Dream was planning on keeping c!Skeppy in a cage to control him with - goes, “yeah, he should stay boxed, but does he really need to like... suffer suffer?”

Still, c!Dream seems to be kindof inconsistent in his behavior. Is he faking his pain? Is he not? His actions don’t fully make sense for either take. He acts differently to each person, but at the same time some things he does don’t make sense if he were just fishing for pity.

Then c!Sam admits to trying (and thinking he succeeded) to “break Dream’s will”, to quite literally starving him for weeks.

Okay, so now we’re a step further. C!Dream is now suffering even more, although already boxed and unable to hurt anyone. Pandora’s Vault is one thing, but now c!Sam just seems to be out for revenge and nothing more. Instead of spending his time with c!Tommy, he spends his time pickaxing(?) c!Dream.

C!Sam isn’t an angel, and we should all know that by now. He does what he thinks is right, but he’s deeper than that, all characters on the DSMP are.

He cares deeply for the Badlands, and would always choose them above anybody else. He’s a capitalist. He built the prison because it would benefit the Badlands resource-wise, despite knowing Dream would probably use it on his enemies, and it was no secret that ALL members of L’Manburg, especially c!Tommy, are his enemies. C!Sam, undoubtedly, knew that. He still built it.

Arguably, he didn’t know about c!Dream’s attachment obsession at the time, but the point still stands.

People have already latched onto the untold story happening between c!Dream and c!Sam, and frankly, we barely know enough about it. Does c!Sam torture him regularly? Do they talk? Does c!Dream try to verbally fight back? CAN he fight back? We don’t know! We’ve gotten proof for both, between c!Sam saying that c!Dream is terrifying even in prison and c!Dream going silent to go on strike. We don’t have enough of an idea how bad or how good it truly is.

So the people who prefer to humanize c!Dream and explore morality imagine c!Sam to downright torture him, people that prefer to see c!Dream as nothing but evil due to his actions imagine prison on the DSMP to not be equivalent to real life prison, and thus nowhere near as torturous as people are making it out to be.

Now all that is thrown out the window as c!Quackity quite literally tortures him.

So now the internet is faced with a question that, judging by some of the impulsive reactions *cough cough* celebrating torture *cough*, it didn’t turn out to be ready for.

Tell me.

How far do we go?

C!Dream hurt a LOT of people. He did a lot of things that caused irreparable damage. Now what? Do we torture him forever? Why? Because he deserves it? How do we determine that without comparing one kind of pain to another?

It’s custom and kindof generally respectful not to compare people’s pain too accurately, because different things vary greatly in severity depending on the person that experiences them.

At what point do we say he’s suffered enough without comparing exile to the prison?

And if we DO compare, does that even make the question easier to answer?

And if he’s never suffered enough ever, killing them would be a mercy...

At what point has a person done enough damage that they “deserve” to die? What if someone only did half of the things c!Dream did. But if c!Dream gets infinite punishment, and half of infinity is still infinity, do they ALSO deserve endless suffering?

Do you think every person that did something you can’t emphasize with deserves to suffer for eternity and die?

I’m not saying we SHOULD emphasize with c!Dream. He did things we cannot justify, that NOTHING can justify. He did things that were, by their nature, unjustified.

I’m also not saying anybody should forgive him. I think it’s a GOOD thing that c!Tommy doesn’t want nor is narratively pushed to forgive c!Dream.

But c!Dream doesn’t need c!Tommy’s forgiveness to be... a person.

There’s a saying that I’m sure you know, that goes “I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.”, because there’s things you wouldn’t want any human being to experience. Not because you like them, not cause you think they’re right, but because they’re human.

And perhaps this is my personal opinion, but I don’t think c!Dream being a bad person justifies dehumanizing him, because then we get into an area where someone needs to meet criteria just to be human.

-

I met someone once, whom, because of outside circumstances I knew I probably wouldn’t meet again. We’d been getting along just fine for people who just met, and were both getting into an interesting discussion about morality. They kept insisting upon something I kept refuting, so they said they needed to get something off their chest.

They proceeded to tell me that they had, years ago, while a teen, manipulated someone in a relationship, pushed boundaries and tried to convince them to do things they didn’t really want to do to get what they wanted.

They cried, while telling me, too terrified to tell anybody they know, terrified nobody would ever speak to them again, insanely regretful of their actions. They didn’t know whether to go back and apologize or just stay as far away as humanly possible, didn’t know which one the right thing to do is.

It had been years, by then, and I talked them through it. I said that what they did was bad, and there’s no going around that. But I also said what I saw, which is someone who would never do something like that ever again. I saw a human being. Someone who regrets a mistake they did and now, after enough time has passed, would do anything to make it undone.

Someone who is too terrified to be close to anybody in fear that they would do it again. I don’t remember if they already went to therapy or not, but it was definitly on the table, or in the near future.

They asked me how I could possibly even keep talking to them after they told me all that. They implied they felt like some kind of monster despite literally chocking back tears, firmly convinced they don’t deserve to be close to anybody in their life ever again.

I never swerved from the fact that what they did was wrong, and harmful. But I also told them they’re human. The universe isn’t keeping score. They want to be a better person now, and they were never going to learn how if they never let themselves be close to anybody.

I told them to seek therapy, and to slowly, carefully, try. Assured them that the fact that they regret it so strongly will at least help them in not falling back into the same pattern, and if they do, they can learn to recognize that.

They thanked me after the conversation, genuinely, especially for the fact that I didn’t sugarcoat what happened, because I know otherwise it would’ve felt like I was lying, like I was just sparing their feelings. I wasn’t. I was thinking about how to make sure they get to live without hurting anybody.

As per the circumstances, we didn’t speak again after that, which we knew basicly from the very start.

-

I still think about that conversation a lot.

Do you think they should’ve been locked up for life after it happened, instead?

Do you think this real human being, that I spoke to, that took years to realize their mistake - and never would have realized it if they hadn’t had the time to, if they’d been killed right afterwards - deserves to suffer forever?

Let me tell you something, from someone who’s been in more than one abusive situation: People that hurt you are human.

That doesn’t mean you have to forgive them. That doesn’t mean you have to like them. That doesn’t mean you have to make an effort to understand them. That doesn’t mean you need to go anywhere near them ever again.

You can hate them. You can be angry at them. You can (and should) go as far away from them as possible, and/or defend yourself.

But that doesn’t mean you have to dehumanize them.

You’re allowed to hate and dislike people that are human, because you’re human, especially if they hurt you. That’s how life is.

And to go back to my original point - c!Quackity torturing c!Dream is not something that should be celebrated.

There’s a difference between necessary measures (locking c!Dream up so he doesn’t hurt anyone), and torturing people for fun.

It’s not right. It’s never going to be right, and do not justify literal torture on human beings, and do not make someone lower-than-human to justify torturing them.

Taking revenge on someone for what they did tenfold is romanticized, I know, but I promise you it’s not actually as cool as it sounds.

[eustochium]

reviews of every movie i’ve seen in theaters lately, because this is what i do with my friday nights now. maybe spoilers or whatever if you care

-Elvis: i do genuinely believe austin butler made some faustian pact for an oscar because there’s no way that he managed to turn out a performance like that when his resume to that point consisted of supporting roles in Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure and Vanessa Hudgens’ Coachella appearances. anyway it was unfortunately good, bc Baz Luhrmann is the hollywood purveyor of grandiose spectacle and tragicomic fairy tales, and for that end chooses his source material very well. costume design was objectively perfect, because of course it was. staging a montage representing elvis’s hollywood years to an instrumental britney spears mashup before punctuating it with the sound of a gunshot and cronkite’s voice announcing the assassination of MLK is probably one of the most insane creative choices i’ve seen on a screen and shows that baz knew exactly what kind of story he wanted to tell. the unfortunate part is that baz is also a wildly wealthy white australian who, despite a well-intended effort, was extremely out of his depth in trying to portray the nuanced realities of race in mid century america as they pertained to Elvis Presley’s career, but this effort still led to objectively the best musical scenes in the movie. stan yola and go stream her album right now. 8/10

-Don’t Worry Darling: literally so much fun. Harry Styles didn’t quite sell the character for me thru most of it, until the ending sort of gave some justification for why he might have come across as less than wholly convincing—but tbh i doubt that was an intentional performance choice. his press conference soundbite about how DWD “feels like a movie” got rightfully clowned on but it’s actually like. the most apt assessment of it lmao. definitely sets you up to know there’s gonna be some big shocking final twist, and while idk how i feel about it, at least it kind of resolved my biggest issue throughout watching most of it which is the glaring fact that not a single person in this movie convincingly looks like they’re from the 1950s. everyone in the movie has a face that knows about texting and the costume design doesn’t help either, literally like an online brain poisoned person’s mental image of what 1950s suburbia looks like, so that works. messy plot that didn’t really know what to do with itself. nevertheless Miss Flo ate and left no crumbs, as the kids say. also the supposed controversy abt the behind-the-scenes drama was one of the first truly enjoyable entertainment news cycles in a good long while. not a great film but genuinely a great time. 7/10

SMILE: viscerally creepy at a few scenes but that’s rly all there is. freaky premise on the surface but overall not very good and didn’t have anything to say about its central theme of trauma that hasn’t already been said much more effectively by plenty of other, much better movies. 3/10

Pearl: slapped, went absolutely insane, spoke to the soul, talented brilliant amazing showstopping spectacular never the same un-afraid to reference or not reference etc etc. never seen X and don’t particularly care to bc there’s truly nothing i could ever imagine in any way adding to what that movie did for me. didn’t breathe once during mia goth’s entire 8 minute monologue, literally exited the theater feeling like that “girls with they ____” meme, in the best way. she named her murderous pet gator after Theda Bara. absolutely zero notes. 10000/10

Moonage Daydream: A good movie to go see with your mom, if your mom’s celebrity crush growing up was David Bowie. 9/10

[purplecraze]

@fugos-fork​

tags on [link]:​

#this is such a good analysis of his backstory ty#it’s absolutely tragic#i didn’t know about the japanese translations so it’s super interesting#i think about him being afraid of killing bucciarati as a possible part of the reason he didn’t join everyone on the boat#like he was afraid of hurting people around him especially in high risk/intense situations#also i love his and bruno’s relationship and i think it’s highly underrated and often overlooked

thank you for prompting part 2 of my analysis.

the relationship between Bucciarati and Fugo is so damned heartbreaking. yes, there was something special between Bucciarati and Abbacchio. but Fugo was the one who was allowed closest to him.

Because probably, it was just the 2 of them for a while. Narancia didn’t join them until half a year after they met. Abbacchio (bit more complicated) joined the police after finishing highschool (19), and has since spend an amount of time learning of the corruption within the police. and after, had enough time to grow his hair out. since he just turned 21, he couldn’t have been with them for more that a year.

so I think it’s safe to say they spend their time with the 2 of them for half a year to a year.

I’m fully convinced that Fugo staying behind wasn’t because he was simply scared for his life. He was given the option to join Passione and was fully aware that he had the choice to decline it. But he didn’t. Fugo knew of the dirt in the mafia world and that it could cost him his head. if you value your life so much, that’s not a choice you’d make.

this is just a side theory of me, but I also think that how Purple Haze manifested itself as also being deadly to its owner, could imply that Fugo was struggling with suicidal thoughts. so yeah, I really don’t think this boy was concerned with staying alive...

I think it’s a combination of things: First and far most being Bucciarati’s right hand man. Bucciarati asked him to join to be his voice of reason. He clashed on the matter with Bucciarati, probably in a way how they have often clashed. Sometimes Bucciarati would win the argument, sometimes Fugo would. And I also think Fugo often played devil’s advocate, just to spar with Bucciarati, to think important matters over carefully and argument them. He respects Bucciarati, but wasn’t afraid to talk back to him.

in PHF he wonders to himself why he ‘couldn’t’ join them, rather than ‘wouldn’t’. almost like Bucciarati had set him up to the matter.

Because imagine if Fugo had NOT disagreed! He was the one speaking everyone’s thoughts on the matter. If Fugo had joined Bucciarati, it would cloud the judgement of the others, the path to taking a different decision was closed. Fugo and Bucciarati taking different sides made it so that the others could choose fairly.

That’s also the first thing Fugo did: find out about Bucciarati’s point of view in the matter. while the others were stunned, he was the one to ask for Bucciarati’s reasons.

I mentioned this in a different post already, but the positioning of Fugo is just so beautiful. he’s the one closest, having one foot down the stairs. I really believe he was willing to follow if Bucciarati’s reasons had been indisputable.

The moment the boat takes off, Bucciarati was aware that he would never seen Fugo and Narancia again. (even if they’d succeed, he was running on borrowed time) Which is why it was a moment that Bucciarati’s steel mask broke when Narancia joined in after all. But it may also be a moment where he realizes his pain of leaving the other behind.

(I also just love his face here. the team is like ‘cool, narancia’s coming! 8)’ but Bucciarati’s rly like ‘!!!!?????’)

I think that the fact that Bucciarati didn’t ask any of them to come shows he’s a type of person who always shoulders everything by himself and frankly doesn’t know how to ask for help. There’s no telling if it played along, but I can imagine it would have been hurtful for Fugo that Bucciarati practically chose Trish over him. perhaps, who knows, if Bucciarati had said ‘please come along Fugo, I can’t do this without your help’, things would have been different.

Because come on, Fugo’s not an idiot (most of the time). If the boss was so intent on keeping his identity hidden that he’d kill his own daughter, what were the chances of him keeping team Bucciarati alive after having spend an entire week with her???

So the reason why he staid behind CAN’T be that he was afraid. His chance of survival was already at 0, no matter what road he’d take.

Yet Fugo says it’s something he ‘can’t’ do. Joining them with a lack of conviction would not cut it. Joining in half-hearted on a suicide mission wouldn’t only be dangerous for himself, but also for the ones around him. Mainly Bucciarati. Perhaps he though they’d have a bigger chance to make it without him? As his Stand was the bigest wildcard of all. who knows... He didn’t know Bucciarati was already a dead man walking, afterall.

After leaving Venice, Bucciarati seems to be doing alright with leaving Fugo behind. He was free to choose it after all. And maybe it was because of Abbacchio’s death, maybe because his feelings were dying both physically and emotionally. but I think it’s all the 3 at once that made Trish realize Bucciarati was acting off, including having Fugo no longer on the team.

As we know, originally Fugo was going to be a traitor of the team. But because Araki was struggling with depression, he thought the idea was too dark of a teammember having betrayed them. For Giorno’s sake? No, they barely knew each other. The one who would be hit the hardest by it is Bucciarati. The boy who he’d seen grow over the last 3 years, who was by his side so much, who he consulted for a lot of matters, shared meals with, on top of all the crap Bucciarati already had to cary?? I completely understand why Araki decided to not do it. It would have broken Bucciarati’s heart completely.

[missmaxime]

You mentioned in the tags that you overall really liked this episode, love to hear more if you're willing to share? Thanks :)

Hi Anon! Y E S I can share my thoughts, I just rewatched it and I still love it, even though I feel like it’s a bit overpacked, and I might start giving the writers to much credit at the end B U T - and look, it’s not a top 10 episode to me, but I really liked it overall.  Overallll: * baby Rio is the cutest * boxing fanon -> boxing canon * rio goes from ‘you and me’ from the beginning of the ep to, ‘we’ when talking ‘bout him and Beth and I’m djfs;ljflkdsfkd * L O N G G A M E *(I’ll expand later) * “First three kids didn’t fix my marriage.” “I got four.” (omfg Beth get on the same page as Dean, you’re never going to fix it again) * the episode emphasizes sm on ‘being back at square one’ * Dean setting himself up with this MLM scheme for yet another financial ruin * Stan rallying up the strippers! * Beth can’t lose her kids rly, she’ll have zero crime plans * Nick telling Rio he’s got his head in the wrong game, right before present!Nick shows up on Beth’s doorstep * Nick hanging out at Beth’s kitchen like he’ll be able to insult her pies and get her to crack like he knows her or something * G E N E. he’s a turd sure, but bless the casting department again * STRIPCLUB MONTAGE!! * Beth not being able to help herself and go see Nick to dig into who Rio is (which we all know she’ll keep to herself) (* HOW AND FOR WHAT DOES RIO GET ARRESTED? Biggest mystery of this whole episode. He could just say he was hitting it - they have prove of that). * Nick carelessly throwing away his brousins future like it’s nothing ;___; (* but FR - it’s not like Rio had zero opportunity to become a professional boxer post-jail, I feel like he did make a choice to pursue crime, be it a young and naive choice) * Beth feeling like the broken toy when she gets home * “What do we do about her?” tbh I think Rio’s feeling him out, I don’t think he had intentions to kill her, but he wants to know if Nick does * don corleone waiting for Beth in that wicker chair * one case Beth really doesn’t have a choice (having Ruby, Annie and her put in jail, or giving them Rio)  * WE CAN DO WHATEVER WE WANT what about..? * Is Rio’s threatening of harming Beth’s family OOC? Uhm, no? I don’t think so. He’s done it many times before (he even shot Dean?). When he killed Lucy, he could have shot Annie or Ruby just as easily, yet he didn’t because he needed Beth in her right mind to do the work.  * The arrest scene. It’s unnecessary to display it like it was done, with how the cop shoves Rio onto the table, I think there are a lot of alternative options to get the same effect of them still exchanging those looks.  LONG GAME * ok so i love a good crime plot, and while the crime plots have always been present on the show, they tend to be repetitive, even if they get deeper and deeper * the situation at the end of this episode resets the board: Beth and Rio now have the power to work together against their respective foes.  * They can crime while Beth misleads the Secret Service (because now they trust her) * And they can work against Nick’s hold on Rio from within (Beth’s not up to speed on this, but Rio doesn’t need her to be, for now) * Nick clearly wants to keep Beth around, even though his motives aren’t clear yet. Maybe as simple as keeping her around as leverage against Rio - because he knows there’s something going on between them on a personal level.  * So what I think (or hope, maybe) is that Rio is setting up Nick to take a fall, but it’ll take time and planning, but he needs Beth to convey info to the Secret Service.  * BUT I also think Nick’ll catch on and we’ll get some sort of Beth, Rio and Nick showdown in the finale. 

[amazingphilza]

DSMP!OC HEADCANNONS

i dunno if ppl on here make dsmp!ocs for themselves outside art but here’s my long list of headcannons?? idk what to call this, but assume all names have c! before it ofc :]

,, this is kinda messy & probably has a lot of plot holes but i just needed a space to write out all my thoughts LOL

also cw / ment of manipulation & ib: dsmp wiki <3

character origin :

previous life was the l’mantree :D

allegedly planted by schlatt, we will never know who’s my canonical parent(s)

reborn as a dryad after niki burns the l’mantree

i think being a dryad would fit especially since they’re typically nymphs of oak trees :]

appearance :

my character’s mc skin has long light brown hair & is seen wearing a flower crown with petals that are around the color of a pale violet and navy blue

clothing would consist of black shoes & a long light grey sweater that falls down to the legs and covers most of the hands which adorned with 2 black stripes on the upper arms

lore / history :

since my past life was the l’mantree, i would’ve known the ins and outs of the history when l’manburg was still standing, up until niki burned the tree

after witnessing everything, i’d hold a grudge on niki (+ allies?) and loyal to wilbur since he’s the whole person that made a meaning of the land of l’manburg

however i’d still be on edge w any side because i could sympathize with everyone to some extent after seeing some sort of distress from everyone at some point

i think seeing both sides of the spectrum when l’manburg/manburg still stood could change my perspective of some other characters

but at the same time, not everything was completely centered in l’manburg so i wouldn’t know the whole story of everyone’s character

i’m currently writing this just after tommy has left the prison & mostly everyone is treating him differently, so i’d try to befriend him by not showing that i dont care about his past & trauma but also not being fully faithful about our friendship ahaha,,,

he seems like the type that needs someone to see through his past history but tommy would definitely disapprove of my character visiting dream at the prison (i would do it anyway :))

vowing my current life to wilbur, i would help dream escape to revive wilbur & follow along with their plans of chaos

i don’t fully support dream but he is the only way to wilbur, making me comply with dream’s decisions

“growing up” in my past life and witnessing endless conflict, it is the only thing i know and understand; chaos

but i think during the process of helping dream & wilbur i’d keep my connection with them secret, being the person to obtain all the inside information they need

i could see myself as a type of equilibrium like ranboo but in a bad way, i don’t know how to explain it

but i would try befriending ranboo since he seems like he is involved in many things and would know a lot, despite his short term memory

unfortunately i’m not sure how much his character actually knows since i haven’t been able to watch his pov that much but i’m sure there’s a lot in his memory book...

to blend in as a normal person within the rest of the characters, i’d surround myself with connor a lot

not only because he needs more lore, connor is one of the “normal” citizens of the smp so i believe being with him doesn’t bring as much attention to myself, unlike people that’s related to the egg and their noticeable features after associating themselves with the egg

he is currently only on bad terms with techno which is rly good when comparing that to other characters and their relationships with other people

connor could probably sense my real intentions eventually & tell everyone else that i’m not who i say i am but if that’s my flaw & my downfall is caused by connor, so be it! sorry dream & wilbur

i feel like for being a young dryad, i’d still fool around with dream/wilbur & help give tommy an small “advantage” to defeating the two ?

like yes i’m supposed to be on your side but where’s the fun if tommy can’t do anything to begin with?

i honestly don’t know if wilbur was revived he’d actually be his vassal but let’s assume that happens, but either way i’m with wilbur on his decisions

but ya dream seems like the type to punish me for helping tommy and send me to the afterlife to learn & become smarter like wilbur had done or smth

in the end, i just want to give tommy bits and pieces that tease him from ending all the wars and problems he has been faced with

like here’s some info about dream and wilbur but it won’t be no where close to enough

but who knows, ghostbur said ‘villains are just heroes that aren’t convinced yet’ & maybe tommy could eventually grow on me & change my ways,,

maybe me fooling around & teasing tommy with answers he’s been searching for is a way to mask that i want to be a good person

ok but imagine after knowing so much about dream/wilbur, the revive book, & the afterlife & then i switch sides,,,

surely if tommy can’t put and end to them, dream would make sure i’m gone for good instead

but also if me & connor are in good terms & he’s canonically a necromancer & can bring ppl back to life,,,,

personality :

to all besides dream & wilbur, i’d try to act passive and friendly on the outside to get on everyone’s good side

however under the mask i am more mischievous & strive to cause more problems for everyone on the server from the inside out

in a way, i’ve taken up some of dream’s manipulative personality but still very understanding

i’d like to think of my character as a good listener,, trying to do less talking than others so i do not open up about my true self and intentions

i’ve seen rumors about schlatt & mexican dream also being revived along with wilbur & i feel like i’d have some soft spot for schlatt & pick up a few things from his own character, not sure what though

schlatt planted l’mantree theory, dad!schlatt au part 2 !! /j

because of my character’s closed off and quiet personality, i feel like i’d be pretty analytical

i would know how to slip between the cracks with some characters & notice the smallest things to make them question themselves

maybe my character is good at holding their composure, and not that susceptible to being “emotional” in a way so it’s easier to face people

like i understand when a situation is sad, etc but i can’t show emotion towards how i feel about it (i don’t know if that makes sense but ya!)

i wanna try to elaborate more,, like imagine my character before tommy visits the prison, i would be unfazed from when i found out he died to the point he’s released and we find out he’s been revived

everything is a constant blur hehe

i just can’t fully process everything i guess? i dunno if that’s helpful but yeah!

in the end though, my moral compass has been very tainted; despite wanting to show my loyalty, it can be slightly easy to sway me, making me internally feel guilty to other people

but me trying to get on everyone’s good side to impress wilbur/dream to seem useful to them would ruin me before i would even realize that i’m another “pawn”

we know damn well dream is faking it till he “makes it” but yk,,

but i’d be stuck in this kind of dilemma of not knowing what thoughts are my own or just something trickled down from wilbur or dream

there’s like maybe something that clicks in my head like “maybe i wanna think for myself for once” or smth

like who am i really?

powers , bonuses , etc :

since dryads can technically manipulate plants in some ways, theoretically i could control the blood vines to some extent ???

i’m pretty sure dryads can communicate with plants so i could understand what the blood vines are saying as well

maybe i could get a good sense of what the egg is all about and stuff

assuming that i understood anything that was happening with the egg in the first place but anyway—

i guess similar to ranboo like how he can’t really be around water without some type of amour or something, it would make sense for me to primarily reside in a type a forest or be near one ?? who knows

seems a bit morbid in a way because of the whole history but if i can somehow easily get rid of the blood vines without it affecting me (if there is still some there) i think it would be kinda pretty to build a tree base in the middle of the l’manburg crator (iskall tease)

like it can show a sign of some rebirth, not the same government repeated once again but a new era in general

you know how you see like destruction years after it the disaster or smth happened and it gets all overgrown with plants and stuff? ya that’s what i’m going for in my head (mumbo jumbo s7 tease)

i know it’s covered in glass already but i dunno, some broken glass and a giant tree emerging from the whole thing and all the rubble seems cool

i’m not a good builder but i have the vision LMAO

omg puffy is like a sheep human hybrid im pretty sure & like there’s a specific type of dryad that are a protector of sheep & other animals?? i’m not exactly sure but that seems like an interesting element to incorporate somehow

also glatt randomly planting a oak sapling in quackity’s lore stream yes pls feed my nonexistent dsmp character lore /j

i honestly dunno how to incorporate the fact dryads can turn shapeshift into trees when trying to escape something but i read something that if a dryad stays in a tree form for too long they’ll forget who they are and stay stuck as a tree?? which like woah that’s cool & some material but at the same time what—

since everyone’s backstory is kinda a mess, mr beast parent tease bc he planted a bunch of trees /hj

i have realized wilbur saying like “the whole reason i built this nation is gone” & blowing up everything or whatever is kinda a plot hole in like ‘why would i follow wilbur if/when he’s revived when he said this?’ but i’d like to think he was the one that made some meaning of the area lmanburg was on, which includes the lmantree

like he was the one that started everything and created that sentiment of that land, and however he views it now is how i would see it now

he gave meaning to my past life and now in my current life, i feel this obligation to repay him for it

not really lore bc i think it was cc!tommy talking to cc!ranboo about his height & age when he first joined but yk it would funny to make my dsmp character than his just to slightly spite him anyway

canonically 6’4 dryad yes . /hj

also i have no idea anything about hannah and her lore but we do be flower buddies :D

also omg like this isn’t at all important but the way ranboo can pick up grass blocks will just have me at awe, i dunno seems in theme with the forest/plant stuff

and i remember reading like there was something about dryads and apples but i can’t remember but i’d give tommy a bunch of apples /hj

apples am i right chat,,,,,

i’ll just have infinite apples in my inventory, like kill me in game, not like losing lives kinda deal but just in general and boom stacks of apples

“bee i get you’re half tree but do you just poop apples out like they’re nothing??” “girls don’t poop” /j

ok but like no matter how many streams i watch i cant grasp where everything is but omg but no if i was new to the server & stuff, canonically & not, i would feel my character to be the curious kind to explore everywhere

like besides a mini tour from some other person in the server, since my character only knows things in the bounds of lmanburg, i’d go off exploring different places like pogtopia, the sewers, showchester, etc

i feel like my character would be really into history, like they would have questions about what happened to lmanburg after the last war? what was life like before wilbur? what was the whole history about the antarctic empire? i dunno but reading a bunch of books from a library seems really interesting

oh but in theory, me and tubbo are loosely related if you wanna count schlatt as my “dad” because he supposedly planted the lmantree ???

i mean could make sense but it seems like a stretch

also if my character ever got close to schlatt, i’m not sure if this is canon, but i swear one time he mentioned how the whole dsmp sever is just a game/server in a game & he’s the only one that knows that ??? but like imagine if i found that out canonically,,,,,

big existential crisis pls

and i’m not 100% sure how dryad shifting works with like going from female to tree form and stuff but if i’m able to morph into different girls on the server & act as them,,,, the about of problems that can cause in the lore omg

lemme frame niki real quick and get inside information /j

oh ya and like hey bee do you support the government then? yes but no. whatever my “fav” person is canonically (assuming this is based in the beginning of this whole hc) whatever wilbur thinks, i think. head empty. but subject to change as the dsmp storyline progresses and stuff :]

ngl i wanna throw in some like random lore that doesn’t make sense to throw people off but i can’t think of anything

not actually really lore related but my choice of stream music like how ranboo has his undertale stuff that makes everyone cry, i will have in love with a ghost

yup i like in love with a ghost sm & i’m pretty sure their music is like not dmca too which yay but yk theoretically never gonna stream on the dsmp but still a fun aspect to think of bc i love listening to music & it’s very impactful to a story & associating something to it makes it more meaningful :D

like i could imagine the chill pop lofi piano stuff fits witha few lore streams of like exploring the whole smp before my character would really go out with being this lost villain in a way?

tubbo’s gangnam style who?

like i feel like i made my character bad/evil so they could have potential to get better in the future

on one hand, i’ll end up w dream and/or wilbur for the rest of my life, which is okay but i could also switch to be with tommy or even disregard all of them and be with techno/phil or quackity & potentially schlatt even who knows

also i cant wait for more connor lore tho, like as much as i tried to make my character give him more content i wanna see how everything goes with him having connections to schlatt & stuff

anyway i would’ve made concept art for my character but i honestly don’t rly like my art currently but who knows LMAO

and lastly if u read all of this ily /p

i might update this later when there’s more lore but ya

[reversecreek]

MEET THE NPCS...

BOBBY YANG, “BIG BOB” .

1. how old are they and what do they look like?

thirty-four. implausibly tall. the day magda first saw a sketch of slenderman she thought of him. when her aunt shelly pulled up the dirt road to abernathy creek magda remembers seeing him through a dusty back window with his head bowed to avoid getting tree leaves in his eyes, joint between his lips, dungarees dirty and half unbuckled. one side of his hair is buzzed with no apparent style intention and he has a weed leaf tattooed behind his left ear. an elephant on his thigh. a name on his ankle he often wears a plaster over. once it soaked through and fell off in the creek and, newly glossy in the sun, nine year old magda reached to give it a blunt and shameless prod. big bob never explained who the name belonged to, he only reached to thumb at the minari growing by the water bed and talk about the fact it was a "versatile little sucker”. 

2. if applicable, where and when did they meet your muse?

big bob introduced himself as such and magda raised her eyebrow in disbelief, the soul of a disgruntled pensioner in a seven yr old’s body. magda didn’t rly talk to anyone when she first arrived in her new home, verging on mute. she was angry at the move, angry that her dad hadn’t called her when she got there, angry that she didn’t know her mother’s voice to imagine it telling her everything was okay. the world made her so angry she didn’t want to acknowledge it. she sat outside in silence for a long time letting a ladybug crawl over her hand, and big bob didn’t ask anything of her, he only schlepped closer and presented her with a buttercup. she looked at it like it’d spat in her face but took it nonetheless. it was strange having an actual bed, if you could call a bare mattress that, used to sleeping on the sofa in shelly’s old trailer, and the springs nipped at her like a dog demanding treats, so she wandered outside in one of shelly’s big tie dye shirts like a nightdress, searching for the moon. big bob was standing out there already in the overgrown grass, stark naked, chin lifted to gawk at the moon himself. magda didn’t disturb him. this is when she first discovered his habit of naked sleepwalking. abernathy creek felt like a bird house overrun with all kinds of eccentric, squawking parakeets. it was a lot for a seven yr old to take in. this was a strange reality she’d never signed up for, swallowed by the commune to overheat inside it’s belly. 

3. what kind of a presence do they have in your muse’s life? do they have a positive or negative relationship?

bob’s definitely a character. three times now he’s slipped hallucinogens into magda’s tea without her knowing under the impression that this is just harmless fun and he’s actually helping her by pushing her little boat to bob along the ocean of enlightenment, once at as young as 16. every time she realises he’s like “y’just got bobbeddddd!” and magda’s like here we go ig. told her the raw earth has healing properties to explain why he’d dug up the grass just to rub his hands in the soil and lay there like a panting, overheated dog. he’s an important component to abernathy creek and oversees a lot of the agriculture there. rigged up the irrigation system himself using copper pipes that magda suspects were stolen. the beat up camper van that’s usually parked up behind abernathy and hidden under leafy branches appeared when he did, apparently, although he insists it belongs to everyone. he leads the crusades to drive it up to the mountains and take a group of abernathy creek residents shroom picking. he’s in charge of drying them for selling, too. jack of all trades, really. magda claims not to care for him (or anyone) but she still walked out onto the grass, took his hand and lead him inside whenever she found him sleepwalking at night in her teens. once a group of kids were daring each other to get closer when he was out there and magda threw a stone so hard at one of their shin’s it split it open and made them scatter. but again, magda “does not care about him”. the jury is not convinced.

4. are they revered in irving? do they have bad blood with anyone?

honestly everyone in irving probably thinks he’s a rly strange guy and i won’t fk around. he kind of is. wears many necklaces around his neck n one is just a pouch that has a prehistoric mosquito encased in a little piece of amber inside. sometimes magda wonders if he likes to play up to his reputation by putting it on a little bit. once she saw him suddenly jerking his head like a pecking chicken and saying “g’warn GET” to scare a random middle aged hiker into galloping in the opposite direction in the trees near abernathy. has a masterful knowledge of bird songs and can imitate them all impeccably. sometimes does this instead of replying with words. never cares about the holes in his shoes where his toes poke out. always seems to be turning a rusty coin between his fingers like it helps him think. he makes moonshine that will knock u off ur feet tho which is always a good time if ur lucky enough to try it. he has a very rich n warm voice like a log fire or a gooey chocolate brownie. even with all of his oddities he sounds kind. he’s very unconventional n doesn’t abide by rules of society a lot but he’s quite funny n a good time. makes engaging smalltalk if u treat him with respect. weird but admittedly a tiny bit wonderful. 

OTIS WOLFE.

1. how old are they and what do they look like?

forty-six but he looks older. the skin beneath his eyes is subtly purpled like it’s been dyed by a lick of beetroot juice. he has a very charismatic walk which doesn’t sound like it makes sense but it does to look at him. he walks everywhere buoyantly and with purpose. very high energy in his good days. lives everything in large quantities, good and bad. always used to wear a tan leather bomber jacket when magda was growing up but he forgot it w her one visit n it’s the only time she’s known him to call up two days after leaving to ask if she’d seen it. magda lied and said she hadn’t. she still has it to this day. sleeps in it on her bad days. otis has a smile so big it shines like live wires are sparking in his mouth. magda’s fingertips prickle like she’s an hour recovering from shoving a fork into a plug socket whenever she sees it. she used to think that’s what excitement felt like. that used to be true.

2. what kind of a presence do they have in your muse’s life? do they have a positive or negative relationship?

it’s very complicated. magda knows her dad isn’t a good person but she knows he isn’t a bad person either. sometimes it’s more frustrating to see things in grey because you just want something solid to take shape that u can actually put ur finger on. she finds herself perpetually stood at a fork in the road between believing in him still and deciding he’s no good. sometimes she’ll start walking in one direction only to realise it loops back on itself and she’s right back where she started. otis has given her a lot of fun “adventures”. taught her how to juggle. they stayed in a hotel on someone else’s credit card once and racked up a gargantuan tab ordering every form of room service and renting godzilla and the matrix on pay per view when she was 11. sometimes he’d use her in gimmicks where she had to lie and pretend she had a health condition so they could get a few bucks off charitable strangers on a street corner and under the veil of youth magda found playing up these roles funny because who would ever believe that? wasn’t everyone in the world so stupid except them? it was nice being part of his team. his “little wolfie”. but then a lot of things weren’t nice either. he’s left her stranded on the side of the road with nowhere to go on more than one occasion. he’s passed out in motel corridors and she’s had to lug him into a bed. he’s forgotten almost every birthday apart from one where he sent a card with five dollars inside and handwriting so squiggly she could tell he was drunk when he wrote it. he doesn’t know she likes to sing because he’s only ever listened when he’s fallen asleep. otis is all of magda’s heart and that’s why sometimes she likes to forget that it’s beating. 

3. are they revered in irving? do they have bad blood with anyone?

he’s very flighty n rarely in irving any more tbh but was more when magda was younger n his visits were a little less sporadic. probably owes a bunch of people money for some reason or another. smashed up fannie’s recently when he turned up drunk and got ahead of himself on a giddy n frenzied rampage in the name of “fun” n “just having a laugh”. magda’s aunt shelly really doesn’t get on with her brother n thinks he’s a complete deadbeat waste of space n resents him a lot for the impact he’s had on magda. magda remembers being little and peeking through a crack in shelly’s trailer door when he turned up drunk one time to collect her for a visit n shelly wouldn’t let him in. something along the lines of “you don’t give a rat’s ass about that little girl” and “she worships you, y’know that? most of the time, you don’t even remember her name”. magda crept back onto the sofa and pretended to be asleep by the time she came inside.

4. if your muse is no longer in contact with them, how did the relationship end? did your muse get closure over this?

magda slowly stopped trying to keep in contact over the years. it got embarrassing trying so hard when she didn’t get much back. like pushing a boulder all the way up a hill only to watch it roll back down again. it’s probably contributed a lot towards magda’s inability to really try with people like she should, especially when her heart’s involved. she doesn’t want to be humiliated again. magda hasn’t spoken to her dad in person in almost a year. they had a phone call about seven months back but it turned out to be a butt dial and he hung up because he was in the middle of a conversation at some bar about the moon landing conspiracy. magda’s playlist that i have for her is called “a rodeo clown in a revolving door” which is basically the role otis serves in magda’s life. always in and out. never constant. gone more than he’s there, especially lately. idk if magda will ever get closure over that. she certainly hasn’t now. pouts my fuckable lips to the side w a hand on hip and triple f’s prominent.

[strangeradventuresofp]

choices (draco malfoy x slytherin!reader)

Draco had been watching you, more than normal, over the past few weeks. He had always kept an eye out for you, not because he liked you or anything, obviously. He just felt protective, especially as you began spending even more time with that Potter. Draco loathed him, and his blood boiled whenever he or Weasley even dared to look at you. You were a pure-blood and a Slytherin, just like Draco. They shouldn’t even be allowed to talk to you, you were too good for them. But despite sharing his views with you, you continued to speak to them, and spend more and more time with them; more than you were spending with Draco. And he didn’t like it.

It was quite late in the afternoon and you and Draco were sat in the library, researching something for one of your shared classes. Humming, you flicked through books as he sat beside you, head rested on his hand as usual. You glanced at him and chuckled, rolling your eyes playfully.

“You could actually help, you know, Draco?” He scoffed while turning his head the opposite way. Hermione, who was sat near you, used this opportunity to slip a note into your hand before putting her books away. The note read ‘18:00′. 

“What is that?” You turned to see Draco reaching for your hand. Quickly, you stepped back so you were out of his grasp.

“It’s nothing, just blank parchment.” He frowned as you showed him the opposite side. You smiled innocently.

“Why would you be carrying a random piece of parchment?” He lunged for your hand again, to which you grabbed his with your free hand.

“Draco, stop it. It was just in my pocket, and I felt it so I took it out.” A dissatisfied look crossed his face. “What? You don’t trust me?” Your question had earned a huff from the blond boy, crossing his arms and looking away once again.

You checked the clock and as it read five-thirty, you hastily put all of your books away. Walking through the castle, you heard Draco’s footsteps trudging behind, echoing around the empty halls. You hurried when you arrived at the dungeons, running up the stairs into your dorm so you could change. Draco scowled at your actions, before he walked into his dorm himself and lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. 

After you had changed into a suitable sparring outfit; consisting of a dark green jumper, black jeans and boots, you waited until the last person in the common room had gone to bed, and proceeded to make your way to the room of requirement.

Draco had no intention of following you, after all, he knew exactly where you were going. It completely irked him that even after telling you how much it bothered him, you continued to go. He knew that at some point you were going to have to confess about your little club, either of your own free will to him, or to Umbridge. Draco knew she had been using Veritaserum on the children and he didn’t entirely agree with it, but he had been told it was for the good of the school, which he believed. The situation was going to end out one of two ways. Umbridge using the truth potion on you and the others knowing you ratted them out but not knowing why. Or someone else being a victim of the pink lady and you being in a lot of danger. He hated the way you were on opposite sides. You should be together, but you hadn’t been more divided in your lives.

~~~

You slipped back into the Slytherin Common Room after practice with Dumbledore’s Army, as quietly as you could. You couldn’t see much, as it had already turned midnight. You muttered a quiet ���Lumos’ to find none other than your tall, blond friend stood in front of you.

“Merlin, Draco!” You whispered harshly, jumping at the sight of him. “What are you doing?”

“No, Y/N. What are you doing? Going out every night and trying to sneak back in. Did you really think no one would notice?”

“Keep your voice down.”

“What is going on with you? Whatever it is, it has to be serious. You wouldn’t keep something so big from me.”

“Actually, I would. You’re part of the Inquisitorial Squad now, Draco.” You stepped the side to move past him, but were surprised when he mirrored your movements.

“I am, and I could easily go to Umbridge and tell her you and your little friends are up to something.” In an attempt to get past him, you pushed his chest, grunting when he didn’t budge.

“I would die before I told her anything.”

“Y/N, you won’t have a choice!” He grabbed your wrists. “Neither will anyone else, she...”

“What? What is it?”

“I.. I can’t say.”

“Goddamn it, Draco! Where do your loyalties lie?” He snorted.

“Rich of you to say, don’t you think? Bouncing around with that Potter.” He seethed, only speaking his name. “It doesn’t take one to think too hard to see that you like him.”

“Are you joking? Draco, you are completely, positively dim-witted.” Draco chuckled to himself, immediately ignoring what you had said.

“Well, you’re spending an awful lot of time with him.”

“He teaches us! He teaches us defense spells, that is it!” You gasped, covering your mouth instantly. Your eyes became misty as you blinked.

“Hey, hey, Y/N. It’s okay.” his eyes were concerned as he looked into your sad ones. He pulled you into a comforting hug while you sniffled against his chest.

“Y-You.. You’re going to tell them, aren’t you?” Draco wiped your tears away with his thumbs as he looked at you. You were crying, but you had never been so beautiful to him. The vulnerability was something he didn’t see in you often, and he liked it. He liked you.

“I don’t have to.” You looked up at him in hope. “If...”

“I’ll do anything, Draco! Please, I’ll do anything so you don’t tell them.”

“Really?” He smirked slightly as you nodded. “Kiss me.”

You were hesitant, and nervous. You hadn’t kissed anyone before and didn’t want your first to be because of a deal. But, you liked Draco, and you always had. When you met him, you thought he was attractive, and he acted as if he knew it too. He was a cocky, pompous git, who you really had no time for. It wasn’t until you had found him crying, in a lonely area of the castle, that you decided to give him a chance. You saw everything. All of the pain, the anger, the sadness; it clouded his beautifully blue eyes, and turned them somber.

“Well?” He persisted, grinning over-confidently. You inhaled slowly.

“Fine. But I’m only doing this because I actually like you. Not because of this stupid deal.” Watching his arrogance quickly turn to anxiety, you grabbed his collar and pulled him to you, pressing your lips against his. Slowly, but surely, his hands made their way to your waist, pulling you in closer. You felt his body heat and smiled against his lips, pulling away gently, earning a pout from the boy.

“Did..” Clearing his throat, he continued. “Did you really mean that, Y/N?”

“Of course I did. Why would you ever doubt me?”

“I just thought.. You and Potter..”

“Draco. It’s never been Potter. It’s always been you.” The blushing boy smiled.

“I won’t tell Umbridge.”

“I bloody know you won’t!” Draco let out a quiet laugh. This was not how he had expected tonight to go, but he was glad it turned out like this. He had been denying his feelings or you for far too long, afraid that he might get rejected because he wasn’t good enough. Because he wasn’t the Chosen One.

“I think I love you, Y/N.”

“I think I might love you too, pretty boy.” Draco’s cheeks turned pink at the new nickname, but he smiled at you, leaning in once again. You pecked his lips and smiled back at him. “Now, come on, you. Time for bed”

my masterlist (requests open!)

A/N : hi this is my first harry potter imagine and i think its pretty bad lol but i rly hope u guys like it and i hope u all have a wonderful day xo p

[happikattwuzheere]

was gonna try and do multiple characters in one post but nope! i have too much to say. also the pictures are all different sizes so its rly hard to get the photoset to look appealing, so we’re starting w/ blue. and also a colored pic of what adam looks like when he’s not a deer. boy’s tryin not to stand out. which goes great up for him right up until it doesn’t. lmao. i’ll talk a bit about him too w/ stuff that didnt get mentioned in the starter post about him and gansey, but this is mostly gonna be about blue. 

SO. 

there’s this fey entity, right? i don’t have a name for them, but they’re not...they didnt START the fey/human conflict, but they are benefiting from it, politically speaking? and when maura was younger, despite other witches being like “girl dont choose sides, we’re witches, we guard boundaries but we don’t choose sides,” was hotheaded and brash and went “ok but fuck that though” and one thing led to another and she ended up getting a curse on her firstborn. Oops. that’s where the kissing curse comes from, here; i’ll get into that much later in a text post probably but gansey’s survivor’s guilt thing doesnt come from him actually dying in this au it’s from something Else, but blue will still kill him if she kisses him, just, for different reasons, it’s an actual curse this time and not something to do with the nature of who they both are. 

her father’s still a tree light, but like, she actually knows that from the outset? because. they live in cabeswater. the tree lights are all around and accept her as one of their own even if she can’t turn into a tree, and as a result of that, she’s got some cool perks. 

a) extremely resistant and/or outright immune to a Lot of fey bullshit 

b) still boosts psychic energies and magical powers like in canon

c) the absolute safest person to be traveling in cabeswater ever, because the forest itself loves her, and also if you mess with her within the borders of cabeswater a bunch of tree lights will physically manifest and be like “hey buddy wanna think twice about that”

but she can’t use magic herself, still, which actually works in the favor of herself and the coven--witchcraft is in a sort of weird spot, culturally, where it’s both feared and often hated, but also understood to at times be necessary, especially by rural peoples like those of the village. im taking a very discworld spin on the witchcraft, because i love discworld and you can’t stop me, and so the attitude is, like. its frightening ancient magic and the church hates it but when there’s an emergency and someone’s on the border between life and death, or something is trying to pass into this world from another, etc etc etc, then you gotta suck it up and call on a witch because they’re the only ones who can deal with those things. so. the coven is tolerated, both because it’s too big and powerful to actually fight but also because it’s extremely needed when you live in a village right next door to fey lands. you NEED someone watching the border. however that doesn’t mean anyone wants to be seen publicly talking to a witch--but blue’s not a witch. she’s a witch’s daughter, but she’s not a witch herself, which is a step removed enough that she can go into town and run errands and also people will maybe pull her discretely aside and tell her if something’s coming up that the coven should know about, and it all works very neatly with her acting as a sort of liaison. very important role she plays, which is why gansey tries talking to her after his initial attempt to speak with the coven directly fails. 

speaking of the coven itself: i’ve been calling it the fox way coven, even tho it probably wouldn’t be called that because there’s no road called fox way that the coven is built on, it’s a big magic house out in the fairy forest, BUT they do have a fox theme because i love foxes and this is a gift i have been given. if people have familiars in this coven, they’re foxes rather than cats, because as wonderful as cats are u cant have them and foxes in the same house that will go bad. but also there’s a v small number of them, like maybe three or four total out of the much higher number of women living there, who are fey blooded like adam, but who become foxes rather than adam’s deer. persephone is one of these! (it’s worth noting the reason why they become the same animal is because of a combination of coincidence, intentional theming, and mostly just because like, virtually all of the residents there aside from persephone are related to either maura or calla) 

anyway the point is, because of this, blue’d seen enough feyblood transformations that when, one day when she was 9 or 10, on a visit to town, she saw the most distressed, disoriented fawn wobbling around frantically and was able to very quickly recognize that that was, in fact, a person who had probably turned into a deer for the first time, and responded by very calmly informing him that she knew who could help and leading him home. this is where those last two pictures come from, and how adam’s apprenticeship started. 

like, there was a lot of arguing from the witches immediately--of course we’re going to teach him how to become human again but we aren’t really going to take him on in the coven are we? he’s a boy, he’s some local kid we know nothing about, what happened to keeping it in the family, he’s the wrong animal and we’ve got a whole thing going on--at which point persephone parted everyone like the red sea, took one look at adam, went “mine now” and despite a lot of grumbling that was the end of it. she took him on a bit of a tour of cabeswater a few days later, after he’d had time to think it over, and he felt so drawn to the forest that he agreed to the apprenticeship.

so he’s technically persephone’s apprentice but like in actual practice he’s being taught by the entire coven lmao, ANYWAY

adam being adam also had a backup plan for trying to get out of the village--even at ten he figured witchcraft might be a first way out of there, he was already thinking about it, but by thirteen when the good ole abuse started (and at which point the last whispers of dissent died out very quickly amongst the coven, nope, adam is one of us now, do you want us to very threateningly hang out in your front yard sometime because we can do that--what do you mean no, let us do this,) he was also like. i dont think this is a guarantee of getting out of here i need a second job. and the thing is, as was mentioned in the original post, the fey blood also means adam’s got issues with iron; it’ll poison him if he’s stabbed with it but it also reacts to his skin touching it like a hot stove. he’s fine if there’s a layer between his skin and the iron, but if he touches it directly, it’s Bad. so ofc this headstrong idiot takes an open spot a t a metalworker’s in the village because adam is the king of making bad decisions. the witches have a betting pool on how long it’ll take him to out himself. “its fine i’ll wear gloves,” he says. “it’s the perfect disguise no one will expect someone with fey connections to work near so much iron,” he says. “i have everything perfectly under control,” he says.

anyway he totally forgets to wear gloves before grabbing an iron tool while his dad and his boss are both in the store and in clear view of him and that’s why he was getting chased by hunters when gansey rescued him 

also he and blue tried dating when they were like 13-14 and it ended about as badly as in canon and they made up later and by the time the story starts they’ve settled into very much being weird siblings. adam starts hanging out with gansey initially to try and basically spy on him, figure out why he’s here, but ends up rly liking the guy and deciding his reasons are sincerely to try and help people, and he tells this to blue who starts immediately accusing him of having a crush on the lordling and being a class traitor, because she does NOT like gansey at this point and really the nobility all prefer wizards to witches which is a stupid idiot decision and frankly the fact that this lordling is apparently enamored by some random deer is hilarious to her, but even moreso is the fact that adam actually defends the lordling to her, like, “wow adam its hilarious that the lordling’s friend thinks that you have charmed the lordling because from my perspective it looks the other way around” “shut uuuup you’re not listening im serious, like, yeah ok he put his foot in his mouth really hard when he talked to you but im telling you i dont think the whole i-wanna-understand thing is an act” “idk if i can trust you through those rose tinted glasses buddy. tell me again about that time he called you princely?” “oh my god” 

this is turning into rambling but. thats the gist of the witches and blue esp thank u for coming if u made it this far here’s a bonus persephone fox