#which is absolutely fine bc she'd do the same for me

[nicistrying]

Feeling lots of feelings again tonight so here are some cute pics of Maggie this afternoon

[archangeldyke-all]

No bc I keep thinking of modern Sev trying to get into the dating game because she wants to settle down and she gets on a dating app because Jinx had mentioned in a conversation with Silco and she ends up matching with reader,,, ahh it’s stuck in my brain

i changed this just a bit to make jinx even more of a shithead hehehe i hope u love it

men and minors dni

"aunt sevy." sevika rolls her eyes at the nickname she hates, and looks up from her book at jinx.

the girl's ten years old now, old enough to know just the right buttons to push to annoy sevika. and sevika's stuck on babysitting duty, because she's an idiot and agreed to be the shithead's godmother when jinx was still a harmless, quiet baby.

"what?" she grunts.

"why don't you have a wife?" jinx asks.

sevika groans. "did your dad put you up to this?" she asks. silco's been bothering her about the same thing lately.

"no." she says. "'m jus' wonderin'. when we have birthday parties and stuff, all the adults bring their boyfriends and girlfriends and wives. but you never do. why not?" jinx asks.

sevika tries her best not to kick jinx's shin. she manages, but not without flicking the kid's forehead.

the truth is that sevika's been asking herself the same thing lately. but she's realized that after so many years of emotionless hook-ups, she's got no idea how a relationship would even fucking work, and she's decided it's easier for everyone if she just... doesn't try.

"mind your own buisness." sevika grunts eventually. jinx studies her with those frighteningly inquisitive eyes of hers, before she smirks, turns on her heel, and runs to her room.

sevika's too relieved by jinx's disappearance that she doesn't even consider that the girl could be up to something.

three days later, sevika gets a call from silco at five in the morning.

"do you know what fucking time it is?" she groans into the receiver as she rubs her sleepy eyes.

"i'm sorry."

"what's so fuckin' important that you couldn't wait to tell me at work?" sevika asks.

silco's responding sigh is long enough for sevika's stomach to sink. "you should dress nice today. a suit, maybe, or at least nice slacks and a button up."

"why? do we have a meeting?"

"no." silco says. sevika waits for him to elaborate, but he doesn't. she huffs.

"silco what the fuck is going on?" she asks.

"you have a date tonight."

it's silent for a few moments. sevika tries to remember if she'd drunkinly given out her number to someone, or if silco asked her to butter up a client. she draws a blank. "...i do?" she asks.

silco sighs again. "jinx got the idea in her head that you need a wife, so she made you a dating profile."

"what?!"

"she's been cat fishing some poor person as you, and she's scheduled a date for the two of you tonight at seven."

"she what!?" sevika screams. her neighbor pounds on the wall that they share. sevika pounds right back. "silco, there is no way in hell i'm going on a date jinx set up for me."

"yes, i figured you'd say that." silco sighs. sevika's phone buzzes. "check your messages."

sevika pulls her phone away from her face and checks the new text sent from silco.

she gulps when your picture pops onto her screen.

you're... everything. if sevika was asked to describe her type, she'd have described you to a tee.

silco starts talking on the other line, and sevika blinks down at your picture one last time before pulling it back up to her face.

"fine." sevika grunts. she can hear silco's smile, and she huffs. "shut the fuck up. which suit should i wear?"

silco cackles on the other line.

sevika almost passes out when she meets you in person. you're stunning, and she's nervous, and she knows absolutely nothing about you even though it seems like jinx has told you everything about her.

it's only when you've ordered your dinner and are chatting over bread that sevika finally confesses.

"i have to tell you something." she mutters.

you pause mid-chew, your lame story about a fat squirrel you'd seen earlier today entirely forgotten at the sight of your gorgeous date's grimace. "don't tell me you're straight." you groan.

sevika cackles, and you relax a bit into your seat, smiling as you watch her catch her breath. "no!" she laughs. "god, no." she wipes her eyes. "i am very gay. and i find you..." she trails off, her eyes darting down to your lips for just a flash, before she blinks and shakes her head. "very attractive." she says.

you gulp, ignoring your sudden arousal. "so... what's the problem?" you ask.

sevika sighs and looks down at her hands. "you've been catfished."

you frown. "uh..." you study the woman in front of you. "you are sevika right? i mean... you look just like your pictures..."

sevika chuckles and shakes her head. "yes, that's me in those pictures. but you haven't been talking to me all week."

"so..." you're beyond confused. "who have i been talking to?" you ask.

sevika cringes. "my fucking shithead niece." she says.

relief floods your body. this isn't a scam or a fucked up prank-- it's a real date with a beautiful woman who's looking at you like she's expecting you to throw your glass of wine in her face.

instead, you burst into laughter. "you sound awfully fond of her."

sevika's stiff posture relaxes, and she huffs her own laugh. "she was cute before she could talk." she says, shrugging. you laugh even harder, reaching across the table to take sevika's hand and squeeze it as you try to compose yourself. "but now she's old enough to ask me why i'm still single and work a smartphone..."

"well, that explains why you had so many typos in your texts."

"oh, god." sevika groans.

"you misspelled 'restaurant' like five times."

"it's a hard word." she chuckles.

you pull the gorgeous woman's hand up to kiss her knuckles, and watch in fascination as all her worry and embarrassment melts away. "so." you say.

"so." sevika repeats.

"if you'd like to leave i understand, i won't be offended. i'm not sure i'd be into the dates my little cousins would pick out for me."

"no!" sevika shouts. she cringes as half the restaurant turns to look at her. you giggle. "no, that's not-- i really want to be here. i just-- i just wanted you to know that you weren't talking to me... you were talking to a ten year old."

it's quiet for a minute as you try to wrap your mind around the situation. so you'll have to re-introduce yourself to the woman in front of you-- that's fine. you're looking forward to getting to know her, and it seems like she wants to get to know you too.

you take a sip of your wine, then giggle when a thought occurs to you. "god, i'm so fucking glad i didn't try sexting with you." you say.

sevika bursts into surprised laughter, and she has to pinch herself to keep from launching over the table and kissing you.

(jinx never lets sevika live down the fact that she married the first person she picked out for her aunt.)

(jinx also officiates your wedding.)

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @realgreeniebeanie @k3n-dyll

@sevsdollette @ellieslob

[deafeninggalaxycandy]

✨️HEIDI TURNER HEADCANONS✨️

i know i said give me like a week to write this, but I got inspired as of lately, so I decided to just fast track and post it now. You guys really like Heidi, so let's go!! Also, pardon me if im a shitty writer. I'm projecting in these bc I've been through what Heidi went through, but I'm bad at explaining things.

• Heidi Ramona Turner

• She/Her

• Born on January 7th, 2004

• 4'11"

• Asexual

• After her breakup with Cartman, Heidi had a talk with her parents and they decided to send her to a therapist. She continued with these sessions until she turned 12 which happened to be about the same time Cartman got sent to a psych ward.

• During these sessions, she truly realized how mistreated she was. Not only with Cartman, but generally in her life. She's an only child with two working parents with full time jobs and never had a lot of genuine friends. She stayed out of the way mostly, was quiet, shy, unproblematic. This led to her being seen as a "houseplant" and ignored when she developed her own problems.

• Before Wendy decided to take on the role, Heidi was the mom of the group. She was the gentle sweetheart everyone dumped their issues on and she absolutely didn't care because she had so much empathy for everyone. She later realized it wasn't just empathy, but more so low-esteem and guilt which led to an obsessive feeling to fix everyone's problems compiled with insecure pride and a desperate need to make herself appear fine or "easy to deal with".

• With time however, Heidi learned to love herself. She took a break from school, social media, everything. She began to exercise again, go on nature walks. Just generally do things she wanted. She focused on her studies, her interests. She felt guilty at first for being "selfish" but her therapist made her see she needed a loooong break from carrying everyone.

• She's still kind-hearted, selfless, and charitable but much more of her authentic self, less quiet and complacent, and absolutely will not take any shit from anyone. She follows her feelings more than logic sometimes, so her reactions to other people messing with her are a lot more harsh. She'll warn you once. You fuck with her again, whatever happens next is your fault.

• She also managed to forgive Cartman even before he came back from the ward, she decided to forgive him so she can move on. Turns out, she still had some feelings for him and after he apologized, with time, decided to give the relationship another try.

• Heidi took up an interest in psychology and neurobiology. She'd always been fascinated with how the human mind works. She wants to be a psychiatrist. Specifically a child psychiatrist, she's great with kids.

• Her favorite movie is A Fault in Our Stars. It makes her cry every time.

• Listens to Pink Floyd, Babe Rainbow, Jimi Hendrix, and Ultimate Spinach.

• Has a dog, 2 cats, a rabbit, a parrot, a turtle and a lizard she adopted with Cartman.

• Volunteers at animal shelters, a food bank, hospitals, basically anywhere she can.

• Hard-core vegan.

• Has a green thumb. Her entire house is covered with plants. She also has a plant garden and she grows a lot of her food.

• Best friends with Wendy, Kyle and Kelly

• Hates violence but can fight. Wendy taught her mixed martial arts and Cartman taught her how to put someone in a headlock.

• Deleted social media entirely. She only uses her phone for texting.

• Makes her own jewelry and taught Karen how to make hers.

• Heidi is an omnist (someone who finds some form of truth in all religions). Her parents do not approve.

• Practices mediation and does yoga every day.

• Plays the violin and electric guitar. She can sing too but she's shy.

• Heidi gets a really pinkish red face when she's angry and everyone thinks its adorable.

• LOVES to sew and crotchet. She helps Bebe make clothes a lot and makes a majority of her own.

• Studies eastern philosophy and Greco-Roman myths.

• Likes snails for some odd reason. Nobody questions it but she just picks up and keeps random snails she sees.

• She moved out of her parents' house when they started calling her a witch for wearing an evil eye necklace.

I 1000% leaned into the idea of her going to therapy and turning into a hippie, honestly. It just feels right to me.

Also I just heard my first Babe Rainbow song and I'm hooked. Go listen to it, it's a rlly good band. :)

[lonelyroommp3]

oh and another thing. i would love for fandom as a whole to stop acting as if suzanne collins is a perfect unimpeachable pillar of Good Progressive Author Who Never Sells Out. "suzanne collins only writes when she has something to say, she doesn't write for the sake of it" and the fact that a movie got announced on the same day the book was doesn't mean anything? "suzanne collins would be so mad at the whitewashing of her characters" really? bc in this book she is very vague about haymitch's appearance outside of his build. i don't think she describes anyone from the seam at ALL, actually. like and that's fine and whatever, but writing essentially fanfiction about how she'd be SO MAD about this movie inevitably casting a white haymitch is crazy. i don't doubt she had limited control over the original movie's casting, but at this point it's pretty clear that they're going to defer to her on a lot of matters. which is FINE, but people are insistent on holding her up as a pillar of progressiveness and it's wild to me.

no literally!! i think people are very very keen to cling to her as this image of the anti-jkr like "wait we still have a beloved YA franchise where the author never sold out or had any problematic views ever and writes actually effective political allegories" and that's simply... making a really black and white dichotomy where there is none. at the end of the day she's a wildly successful author responsible for one of the biggest franchises of the century thus far, which says absolutely nothing about her other than she wrote one really solid trilogy. it does not make her immune to flawed writing & worldbuilding, or to selling out or fanservice, or to really half arsed depictions of issues pertaining to race, sexuality, and gender (and the intersection between those things, as per my previous critiques on the way covey girls are presented as love interests - it's really funny how snow's stereotyping of lenore dove based on his experience with lucy gray is clearly meant to be viewed in a bad light but sc doesn't really make it any better by writing lenore dove to fit many of the same ethnic stereotypes that applied to lucy gray but she's also really romantically devoted to haymitch and would never ever betray him because she's literally nice)

and i think if a few more hunger games fans were willing to a) admit this and b) by extension admit that these flaws do not mean they are not allowed to enjoy aspects of (or even the majority of) her writing and storytelling it would be far easier to have normal and sensible and critically grounded discussions of the series

[dearinglovebot]

oml hi! what are your headcanons for claire and owen when they were at school? here are some of mine:

claire would defnitely be on good tersm with everyone, i feel like she'd be popular in the way that she knew everyone

but she's classify everyone as aquaintences though and call it 'networking'

would be super annoyed by everyone in her class constantly talking abt marriage and kids like thats the only option for her (alas i wish she was in my class i'd have someone to survive those trenches with 😔)

straight A+ student ofc

owen wouldn't really care for school i think

he'd get like alright grades

he'd be like 55% class clown if that makes sense?

super good at PE tho like he'd be the Pe Kid (TM)

i think he had a pet dog or cat (or both?) but they died

i kinda hc that his parents were pretty shitty. idk why but i do. (shhh let me project)

constantly getting into fights with vic hoskins but everyone agrees vic is annoying as HELL so eh he gets a pass socially-speaking

also:

in dodgeball the teachers always put claire and owen on the same team bc the two of them against each other means the match lasts FOREVER and if it does end it's a tie followed by an argument of who won that lasts for two weeks. like claire vs owen in dodgeball would be legendary. and like +340% hype bc everyone's 10 and dodgeball matches are IT when ur ten (can u tell i miss primary school dodgeball 😔)

hello anonnie! brace yourself cause this is a level 5 yapnado

I don’t agree with EoC a lot (...most things) but it hits my high school headcanons very well. that is to say, she is weird and off-putting to the general public. particularly sheltered midwestern kids who absolutely will be raised on the housewife/breadwinner-husband cool-aid in the 90s. they’re all obsessed with settling down with kids in the same town they were raised in while she’s trying to escape to a big city and get a master's degree. they’re doing the 90s equivalent of calling her woke blue hair liberal with pronouns. not outright bullying her but like... side-eyeing her. she's not really being invited to parties. which is fine! (it is not fine. she is lonely).

she has sooooo many autistic traits that i do just consider it part of my personal canon and that will NOT help her. her hyperfixation is going to college and she stims by doing homework (exaggerating. but only partially). i love my queen dearly but she does not have cool autism that makes you do cool art installations. she has collecting alaskan postage stamps from the 1800s type autism. she is a loser that few will truly appreciate <33 like fine wine

claire being from no-where wisconsin in the 80s-90s is sooo vital to understanding why she is #likethat. small town midwest is basically the deep south politically except in the south people will straight up say "women belong in the kitchen" and in the north they'll go "oh. you want a degree? how quaint [condescending tone]". she's used to everything being a backhanded compliment and proving that she deserves what she has. it makes her super defensive and lean towards interpreting things as malicious even when they're not. which is why, on the island, people don't really like her. she's the mean boss lady who won't even do small talk with her peasants

she absolutely is a straight A student. that is PRESIDENT of the debate club to you. she's a teacher's pet who Will do the extra credit work every time and has perfectly chosen her extra curriculars based on what will look best on her college application.

i also think she'd start working about as soon as she legally could. not only is that the smart financial move (start saving as soon as possible) but it looks amazing on college applications too. she is absolutely maximizing what she is able to accomplish in a day

overall, it really isn't an experience she thinks of fondly. she spends most of her teenhood devoted to trying to escape the poor, rural lifestyle she was born into. it's another stepping stone in her 10 stage plan to conquer a small nation. and she wouldn't regret any of it until her life inevitably comes crashing down (indominus incident) because only then does she realize she's been chasing material wealth instead of internal happiness for her entire life

owen has none of the crazy ambition claire does bc he's normal. he would take it one day at a time with vague goals of where he wants to end up. as long as he does the bare minimum of passing the class then he's doing pretty good. best subject science, worst subject literature

owen is from the 80-90s deep south which also heavily influences how i view his characterization. as a funny guy who enjoys very traditionally masculine things like construction and sports, he's going to be very well liked. everyone likes someone who makes you laugh. but overall it's pretty surface level. nobody asks about his day. he's gonna be like "damn is this really all i am to them??". but it's not like he can say that cause then he's being weird and emotional (toxic masculinity culture). so whatever. he keeps balling. (represses vulnerability and compensates by going even harder into funny sport guy routine)

so really he's the guy everyone "knows" but they're gonna lose contact the moment he leaves town. which is whatever. he has his wholeeeee life ahead of him to make some #real friends (his only long term friends include barry, the raptors, and sometimes claire)

he has proven time and time again he has no problem speaking his mind so yeah he's punching every hoskins that comes along and getting a few days suspension over it. he would not gaf tho bc his internal sense of justice is stronger than any school related punishment

he's the kind of kid who mows the lawn for your mom for pocket change and volunteers at the animal shelter

not the worst but yeah he's not that interested in reliving that

not including much about their individual family dynamics because thats an entirely different yap session

also:

in a hypothetical au where they're in the same high school, i believe it would go like this: claire is brilliant and smart in every class they share meaning he's enamored with her big words, she thinks all sports guys are meathead jocks and actively avoids them, she tutors for extra cash after school and he's on the verge of failing lit, she takes him on as a client and he's like wowza the whole time, she's like can you focus on the themes of shakespeare already and stop looking into my eyes longingly every few minutes i'm starting to think you aren't even interested in the deeper meanings of the rivalry between the veronas and capulets (she isn't picking up on a single hint), and now he is actively pretending like he doesn't understand any of the assignments to "get her guidance" on them (she still doesn't get the hint and is wondering if he got a concussion at some point)

[bffrchai]

Welcome to chai yaps pt. 4!!

Today is probably gonna be me more so ranting and simply only because this has really been irritating me all day 😭.��

If you didn't know, my favorite WNBA team has always been the mystics since I was a kid and that will never change. Therefore, the rookies that I root for the most are Sonia Citron and Kiki Iriafen. This means that I was ecstatic when Kiki won ROOKIE OF THE MONTH. AS IN ONE MONTH. AS IN THE MONTH OF MAY. AS IN THERE ARE MANY OTHER MONTHS TO COME.

Although it is perfectly fine to not root for certain rooks, that does not mean you get to call people "soft" for not wanting people to belittle Kiki and talk down on her over ROOKIE OF THE MONTH THAT PAIGE CAN LITERALLY STILL WIN. Like the calling people soft is so ironic to me because y'all know DAMN well if people were talking about Paige how niggas are tb Kiki y'all would be defending her the same way. Y'all are so weird to me because this is exactly how people reacted when Juju won NPOTY. People were claiming she didn't deserve it, that other people played better than her, and that the award was given as a result of sympathy-it's weird all around. I've seen multiple people in yewcawn's fanbase calling Kiki out of her name, calling her slurs, and being nasty to other's for simply defending Kiki. And I hate to generalize people, so I'm just gonna assume it's the bandwagon fans that followed PB from yewcawn into the WNBA. Because REAL basketball watchers who actually watch games outside of their team and don't just focus on stat lines and box scores would know that Kiki absolutely deserved that award. (and so did Paige, i'm sure she'll get it next month)

Also, when y'all bring up stats trying to compare the two and it's comical everytime. Kiki Iriafen is a FORWARD. Paige is a GUARD. They do not uphold the same role and expectations for their teams. I repeat: THEY DO NOT UPHOLD THE SAME RESPONSIBILITIES AND ROLES FOR THEIR TEAMS. This is like how people compare Clark to Reese, it doesn't make any fucking sense. People are saying "well Paige has more assists and steals" | WOULD HOPE SO SHE'S A POINT GUARD?!?!? (she's really a combo guard, but it's clear her role rn is to be a floor general).

But anyway, Kiki's role is to facilitate in the paint, rebound and put it back, make her middy shots (which both PB and Kiks do well, check their FG%), and pass to whomever she can if she doesn't have a good look. But her role is not a pass-first type of role, she's the player people pass TO. Maybe later in her career she'll be able to take on that Point-Forward role, but until then, that's not really her responsibility. For the sake of her team, it would be Sonia, Slim, Jade, or Sug's responsibility to pass and get their forwards (and obviously other players) good looks.

And then the people saying Kiki didn't deserve when she absolutely did is blowing me. Kiki has put up efficient numbers, double-doubles might I add, against the BEST players in the league. Kiki has guarded Brittney Griner, A'Ja Wilson, Breanna Stewart, Jonquel Jones, Tina Charles, Aliyah Boston, etc., and has put the CLAMPS on almost each and every one of them but JJ and I think Stewie (but they're insane lol 😭). Anyway, it has been YEARS since i've seen a rookie walk into the W knowing the comp they'd have to go up against and still be consistent & efficient every single time—l can only imagine how she'd perform against MVPhee Collier, Dominique Malonga, Angel Reese, Rickea Jackson, and other talented forwards. So with all this being said, downplaying Kiki just shows me that y'all don't watch anybody outside of P and if that's the case then WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT HER FOR? (but lemme chill Imaoo)

Anyway to wrap up all this yap, root for whoever tf you wanna root for, but you can do so without being weirdos 😘. Also, Imk what your roty predictions are and stuff like that if you'd like. (My prediction is ultimately Paige winning roty bc duh, but I'm still rooting for Kiki and Sonia regardless).

[thegeminisage]

how about 3 for all 3 games?

HIII thank you so much sorry it took me so long to answer. easter craziness

ORIGINS 3. Who would your Rook's favorite character from Origins* be? Least favorite?

leaving out anders, because the question of anders is so complex it deserves its own essay...

what is so tragic for me is that i think her favorite would be wynne. i, personally, just think wynne is just okay, but if you picture a little 13yo rook (she was technically 7-8 during the fifth blight but don't worry about it), that was a vulnerable time in her life - she is trans, and while she was one of those people who Always Knew she was a girl, she had just hit puberty and was really starting to PHYSICALLY (and not just socially) transition to mitigate the dysphoria. not only that, she FOUND OUT she was a mage in the middle of a crowded market area, which means she had no time to cope with that reality before she was dragged away from her horrified parents and stuck in kirkwall's circle, arguably the worst circle in all of thedas. wynne is motherly, protective, likes taking care of people, likes dispensing advice...even an older rook would imprint on her like a baby duckling :/

that said, at whatever age, i also think rook would develop a soft spot for leliana (who would tell her the maker loves mages too and would also engage in Fun Girl Talk) and zevran (he'd make her laugh, and would definitely flirt with an adult rook which she would not be unhappy about; she likes being flirted with, most of the time). she'd also have a devastatingly horrible crush on morrigan.

least favorite is easy. oghren is everybody's least favorite. going for less low-hanging fruit, though...i think at first it's alistair because she has templar ptsd (though he'd also make her laugh and if he did it enough she'd learn to tolerate him), but later it's loghain and sten. loghain because of the slavery thing mainly but also because he got caught up in his own trauma and ambition over the greater good, and sten because he would be weird about her being a mage and weird about her gender. like, yeah, the qun has trans people and nobody cares if you're trans, but they also tie gender roles to what you Do, and if he said that "you can't actually be a woman because women aren't fighters so if you fight that must mean you're a man" shit to my rook she would get violent

DA2 3. Who would your Rook's favorite character from DA2 be? Least favorite?

i have to leave anders AND varric out of this question. anders for the reason above, and varric bc he obviously kind of becomes rook's favorite later when they meet for real - though they probably passed each other quite a few times in kirkwall and maybe waved or something, they never really stopped to talk or get to know each other, they were more or less strangers, the way varric would have been with any of anders' frequent patients.

rook would absolutely adore isabela. huge tits, super cool pirate, funny, takes no shit, kind when she can afford to be - that's definitely her crush. i think she'd like fenris a lot, too, but mostly because he reminds her of her parents, her mom in particular. the first time he said something mean about mages in front of her she'd be crushed. i'm not sure if i'd picture an adult veilguard-aged rook or a younger one in this scenario (she was 13-14 during her stay in kirkwall's circle) but that's true either way. 

unfortunately i do not think rook would get along with merrill because of the blood magic thing. EYE think merrill is completely valid, but rook Hates blood magic and you probably couldn't convince her that merrill is fine, actually, Just Look At Her She's So Friend Shaped. 

INQUISITION 3. Who would your Rook's favorite character from Inquisition be? Least favorite?

i'm leaving varric, harding, and solas out of this question for the same reasons as before - their relationships w/ her are better defined in veilguard.

i think rook would get on with sera the best, which is nuts because love and light sera is Not my favorite. they both care about the little people, and rook's not an elf or a religious figure, so sera could chill out around her. rook would also really like the iron bull, because he's so so chill and normal but he still has a healthy fear of demons and shit. and he'd flirt with her because she's a redhead which she would find validating and fun. would they fuck? rook usually sticks to other trans people, but she does eventually fall for lucanis (cis), so anything's possible. i mean, they do both like casual sex, and rook is an adult during the events of inquisition, though a young adult - she would be 18 when the game starts, 19 when the game ends, and 21 during trespasser. if i trust anyone not to be weird about an age gap for casual sex purposes it's ONLY the iron bull.

least favorite: this is so unfortunate because EYE am a vivienne simp but i think rook, who suffered terribly in kirkwall's circle, would see vivienne who was at a nice circle and who wants the circles restored, as a class traitor. she would be incredibly frustrated with a viewpoint she perceives as out of touch at best and selfish at worst. she doesn't know viv like we do, and unfortunately vivienne is unlikely to tell anyone about her trauma and the reasons she thinks that way, let alone someone who hates her. 

however, even more than that...rook wants cullen's head on a stick. i have this idea that one time, very early on during the year she was stuck in kirkwall's circle, rook got caught trying to escape, and because she was 13 and cullen was nearing the end of his rope, he just Silenced her and had her put in solitary for a relatively minor amount of time - 1-3 days, nothing like anders' six-month stint - and even though cullen thought he was letting her off SUPER easy, rook never forgave him and when the inquisitor comes to visit in veilguard and is like yeah i have to get back to my husband (jerks her thumb over her shoulder at cullen) rook almost tears his face off like a tiger. she doesn't give a SHIT about his redemption arc! it's on sight. when she gets back to the lighthouse she treats lucanis to the full unabridged speech about what a horrible person cullen is and at the end lucanis is like, you want me to do him on the house? killing templars is way easier than killing mages babe i could get him on the house. and rook grumbles and decides she likes/needs the inquisitor too much and gives lucanis a lil kissy and says no. but she's really pleased he offered.

honorable mention for dorian, who rook would either love or hate depending. she respects the nerve it takes to be gay in tevinter (she's gay AND trans in tevinter, she gets it) and him wanting to improve his homeland is an admirable sentiment she also believes in, but the first time she heard him say "but my dad is really nice to his slaves!" she would be ready to send him to meet the maker on the spot. BUT i think by the time veilguard rolls around and dorian has changed his views on slavery she has an grudging respect for him for like, getting there. and using his privilege for good. yk?

[WHAT WOULD ROOK DO ASK MEME]

[teadrop-12]

heehee thank you for giving me hcs of my blorbo :))) can I ask hcs for your favourite hedgehog Rudy?????? I wanna hear abt em :)))))

Hiii bella omg yeah ofc!! i have a lot of them locked n loaded omg

so i said before like my main hc of ejen ali is that rudy is a trans girl. and that still stands. she/her rudy but only with a few people she knows wont give her shit for it

again i know i draw and depict rudy as being femme but in actuality nothing really changes. shes the same exact person with the same blunt personality and spiky hair shes just a girl now

has a bunch of skills like sewing and baking. absolute dogshit at cooking though

shes bi, i've always had the hc she's bi, even before the tgirl hc came along. like the reaction she had to kim was the same she had to Ali i rest my case

i think she's got a guy pref tho? like she thought she was straight until she had her first crush on a girl

ALSO!! shes on the aro spectrum, specifically demiromantic.

really good with animals and kids, babysits on weekends sometimes

Roza is genuinely like her sister, like her cool older sister thats basically rodrick from the live action diary of a wimpy kid movie

she's not in a band but to blow off steam she plays the drums sometimes

theres a boxing bag in her room she uses that too rudy knows boxing

her and bulat are the besties of the agency. they met each other when bulat came to the academy and they have been each others ride or die since

while she was in the infirmary and her arm completely healed she would sneak into the kitchen and bake for the remaining agents anonymously

she thrifts and gets a lot of grundge and trad goth clothes, but she cannot be bothered to dress up unless shes with a date or at an event then she wears formal Baju Malayu (im so sorry if i got it wrong i just searched for malay formal wear and the one i saw her wear is just like that so i dunno)

like think hot topic, or gothic lolita clothes.

kinda clingy with people? i dunno how else to describe it but its like if shes with a friend or something and they abruptly get taken away for something else she'd be a tiny bit jealous or something

moons like her little sister i think, like theyre always bickering and stuff n tease each other but if anything happened to her she would be mad

she can't really take compliments well. like from anyone.

very indulgent hc, shes got a crush on Alicia.

audhd

im sorry these hcs are so boring

an actual menace to society, she should be put down/j. but srsly, she is a known prankster in canon before ali and alicia came and she became so much more tough

i think she would have had rabies. at least twice. one as a kid once recently

as a kid she actually had really long hair but she got it cut rlly short bc she wanted to style it like Djins

accidently called one of the mentors "mom" once but that mentor said it was fine and flattered

despite having a huge crush on alicia, she is also her biggest rival. Like luz and amity except theyre both amity except alicia amity is luz does this make sense

calls ali and khai cringe for liking a card game like WAUriors but in actuality she has a whole collection for herself.

ok here are some heavy hitters (TW su1c1de mention)

Remember that thing with my dos hcs? with dos being unknowingly cloned? that clone was rudy, but because she was a child, they couldn't wait for her to grow up so when they tried to terminate her, rudy caught wind of this and ran away, which is how she got homeless until she was around 2 or 3?

if thats not the case, I do think something more sinister happened in which MATA was involved with the fact she has no family left.

given the fact they hid ali's mother dying from him for about a year or two after he joined MATA, i dont doubt that they hid something about Rudy's origin.

I like to think when she first joined MATA she did know Aliya but she doesn't remember her so she can't put her finger on why Ali's so familliar to her

When she was younger she was kinda the older sister to the other kids there, like she would pickpocket some extras for them or find some sort of shelter and stay outside if there wasn't enough room for everyone.

Agent Geetha is the one she considers a mother bc shes the one that would actually primarily take care of her when she was a baby

When she grows up she actually goes through such a terrible incident on a mission that makes her lose her arm, but she refused to get a prosthetic bc she didn't want to look anything more like djin

like moon, she had strenuous nightmares for months and didn't sleep an entire night once after the incident in s2, and when they finally subsided, after season 3 it all started again

when she's older she actually quits being an agent, but doesn't leave MATA until shes much older, like around 30, and till then she's a CSI for them and still tags along on certain missions but not as common now.

I like to think Geetha adopted her after some years when they got much closer. Sometimes rudy would ask to sleep in her room when shes having a nightmare or something like that.

speaking of which, She calls her Ama or Ami (since Geethas desi in canon I want to think she prefers being called mom in Urdu)

rudy did kind of. like still not completely trust geetha even after she adopted her, but it got much better later when rudy would get really sick and geetha wouldn't stop helping her and she like wouldn't leave her side like she slept in a chair next to her as she was sick.

I do adore the hc we have of Geetha and dos being rudys moms, but i am also loving the hc of like. rudy finds out shes techinically Dos's "daughter" (bc of the whole clone thing) and her kind of realizing that geetha is so much more of a mother to her than dos can ever be and thats also what strengthens their bond.

After she saw alicia crying after Zain died, they always kept an eye on each other. like alicia and geetha are really the only ppl she'd cry in front of.

when she found out dos almost killed alicia she kind of cried there too. because what if she did actually die she wouldn't have met either of them.

after djin died she did actually attempt, but it didn't work and had to see a MATA specialized therapist.

ok i think thats all for now behn!!! super sorry for the boring hcs i didn't know anything new!! but pleaseee send me more hc asks i love them so much!!

[axe-trio-commanders]

So I've decided I need no provocation to talk about my characters and a post about mounts earlier got me thinking.

So- all my commanders sort of have their primary mounts; they all get two. I'll set one of them to the sorta default mount on 'x', usually the one I'd otherwise use the least, so I'm using these 'signature mounts' more often in-game- but canonically they're more-or-less the only mounts they have- though they lend some mounts to each other. Zori taught Seremnis how to call her skyscale if need be, and seremnis' griffon sometimes follows Enkkioh around when she's bored.

But!! what main two mounts each of the three has sort of follow themes related to their characters.

Zori has a skyscale (named Roro. after prince rorick. bc she's a nerd, which she got via already cannon skyscale quest in lws4) and a skimmer (named Strawberry, yes this is the same skimmer Strea had, that's why they bonded so fast). Both mounts are highkey geared for good, thorough, exploration- she loves heights, she loves swimming, she loves finding cool, hidden stuff.

Seremnis has a raptor (named Aria, that she summons from the realm of torment, and has the temperment of a puppy) and a griffon (named Requiem, a grumpy grumpy girl who only likes this weird salad, that seremnis got via the canon quest but after lws4, at the same time zori was doing the skyscale quest. She wasn't even an actual sunspear griffon she was just chilling there when the sunspears finally decided she could keep one, and now they are besties and seremnis lets her fight things and sometimes help dispose of. evidence). Anyways the theme is Seremnis likes to go fast, and likes to do so at least relatively quietly. There and gone, like a ghost. But also going that fast is just really fun, death 'defying' (like she'd actually stay dead) stunts and all.

And Enkkioh?

Enkkioh has a springer (named G-Force, because she's a nerd, which she bonded with because of the springer's genetic lack of long ears or tail and a similar color patterning to her own- and, fine, he's cute, stop looking at her like that) and a rollerbeatle (named Kinetic Friction, Kinetic for short- because I am also a nerd- which she got through the cannon quest, as a sort of apology to Gorrik and Blish for distrusting them so much at first. Of course, the result was so absolutely cool that she now apologizes by trying to take gorrik on rollerbeetle rides. C'mon gorrik. It's so cool gorrik. I updated the belt system so you won't fall off this time gorrik.)

...And the theme here is that not a single one of these is a flying mount. (Also neither of them are in any way quiet or subtle.) Enkkioh likes a good leap, sure, but there's always obvious ground in sight, she never gets high enough that landing would be an issue. Enkkioh is in both the literal and metaphorical sense my most grounded character- asuran came from underground, and she feels that in her bones.

In short- she's afraid of heights.

...And she's the character I'm playing through SotO with.

An expansion where you can't traverse the whole map, or even most of the map, without a flying mount.

Yeah she's having... a time

[badedramay]

sorry to keep coming back here lmaojgkdflhf but i started rewatching (bits and pieces of) mann mayal this past week and like. what a phenomenon. was the plot horrible. yes. did it drive all of us crazy with the melodrama. absolutely. is the fact that it was the note ayesha khan decided to end her career on kind of hysterical. i certainly think so. but something about it was nonetheless so enrapturing. the direction and music production definitely contribute to that but i also think for whatever all of the mess was on top i really was transfixed by mannu's narrative arc. like it was powerful! obv it was easy to get caught up in all of the fine details and chastise mannu for her brashness or stupidity but the point was that she had always had decisions taken for her her entire life. to see a female character so stubborn and possessive about her right to make her own decisions regardless of whatever anyone else with "sense" had to say about them bc her agency was that important to her in a societal context of women's oppression.. it was incredibly liberating! and i hate to bring the fairy tale comparisons back but i think esp in contrast to the latter it was empowering bc post time skip salahuddin was in every aspect The Ideal Guy. he cared about mannu, he bantered with her, he protected her, he was eager to guide her, etc. but that was precisely the problem, bc everything was about his protectiveness over her rather than a respect for her ability to make her own decisions and chart her own life path. to see her refuse to succumb to his will to the very end, the very end! the fact that he had to accept that he could not make her decisions for her and that to be let back into her life again she would have to be absolutely convinced he would respect her agency and desires! just, wow. that final scene in the last episode truly takes my breath away. sameera fazal makes me want to bash my head into a wall with how ridiculous her plots are but i can't lie that i do love the undercurrent themes in a lot of them. it makes me wonder what she'd do with a story if creating melodrama to get views wasn't such a necessity

I've been saying this for YEARS that Mannu was a far stronger character than people gave her credit for. I do blame the direction for literally bahaoing all of Mannu's strengths in the oceans of tears that she was made to shed in every fucking episode. beneath it all, Mannu as a person was just so staunchly protective of her OWN agency that really she can give many characters a masterclass in how to own their destiny. yeah sure, a deeper conversation about whether an agency that is purely masochist an agency worth celebrating can be held here. but there's no denying that Mannu's agency EXISTS. we cannot say the same about so many of the female protagonists. #MannuProtectionSquad!!

I do think Samira Fazal would make a much better short drama writer. Her basic plots are always fun. she just tends to lose the plot when she has to write 30+ episodes of it. which is what happened with Mann Mayal. which is what happens to ANY of her dramas. do you know Shukk? uska bhi yehi haal hua tha. i really enjoyed that drama in its first half and then toh phir toh too much hi hogaya.

Mann Mayal aired at the perfect time which is why the show enjoyed the blockbuster popularity it did. I am thankful it didn't air at the time when armchair "critics" were running their mouths mindlessly criticizing every project on air just to churn out an hour worth of content twice a week. social media trolled and celebrated the drama. Hamza Ali Abbasi was THE darling of the awaam and Maya got to enjoy a peak with Mannu that I am afraid she won't get to enjoy again in any other character. despite all the rubbishness..the show just worked. it didn't bother with giving any social message or sensationalizing for the sake of having a shock value. it was a melodrama, plain and simple, and fully committed itself to the genre. however, years later, the show still contains some moments of sheer brilliance that have not been tainted by time. in fact, I think now is a very good time to go back and watch Mann Mayal with an open mind. with no trolling to distract us or the long wait of a week between episodes to exhaust, and the entirety of the plot easily available on wikipedia to read..Mann Mayal becomes a show that should be watched to appreciate the technical finesse with which it handled some of the show's pivotal moments as well as to finely study the characterization of its very grey protagonists, flaws and virtues all at once.

[bogmommy]

I mean I am chronically online and it doesn't seem ironic too me

Like the 1830s thing is the exact kind of thoughtless attitude she has shown in the past (reminds me of the comments about capitalism in time's article, like so weirdly thoughtless)

And the tattooed golden retriever... again it's on brand for her. She says stupid stuff like that about weird men (travis being sweet and metal... we know he doesn't wipe his ass)

Like none of these lyrics feel like Matty Healy lyrics. They just feel like previous bad taylor lyrics dialed up to a hundred. It's like Me! But so much worse (or do you think that was ironic too?)

It seems a lot more likely that shes just surrounded by yes men and has no self awareness then shes doing a really bad job of parodying people like Matty Healy. Because her impression is a million miles off and just sounds like her on a bad day

Like I believe if she was making fun of him and guys like him, she'd do a better job

here is the full paragraph that that is from (taken out of context it sounds HORRIBLE, i agree) and i personally focused on "USED to play a game"..."everyone would look down cause it wasn't fun now" = the game stops being fun once you point out something that breaks the bubble of romanticism, in this case that the social conditions were horrible; both bc of racism, and in the next line she also acknowledges misogyny. idk how people miss the part where she says that in hindsight the "game" wasn't fun at all and that she would have hated it in whichever decade. nostalgia is a mind's trick = romanticisng the past makes you forget/ignore that "back in the day" actually kind of sucked (to put it lightly).

she has definitely said a lot of weird things and i'm absolutely not going to defend every single one of her actions, but which artist/celebrity hasn't? 😭 didn't matty healy have a scandal recently bc of his involvement with racist/violent porn? and he heiled on stage a few years ago, was that also ironic? personally that's a lot more icky to be than "you touch me as your boys play gta", it's obviously a shitty lyric but like? 💀 idk. that's just a bit cringe, not a fucking hatecrime. " I pissed myself on the Texan intersection" isn't particularily poetic to me either tbh.

i thought the tattooed golden retriever thing was a reference to that tiktok thing where people call their boyfriends "golden retriever coded" bc they're himbos. a LOT of people called joe alwyn that, and the whole song is making fun of him SO MUCH but again i guess you have to be a very specific type of chronically online find some of these things funny, otherwise it does sound stupid; when i saw an excerpt of that before i listened to it i was ready to HATE this album because it does genuinely sound SO bad out of context.

as for ME!, it's an atrocity and i try to pretend it doesn't exist ❤️ same with the entirety of reputation tbh and like half the songs from midnights, i hate it when she tries to be ~tough~ and ~cool~ and i don't think i will ever like those albums but i actually liked TTPD and it annoys me when people shit on things bc they don't understand them. i don't particularily care for her as a person, but i like a lot of her music bc i think it's just. fun to listen to? i like upbeat songs 😭 and i do find some of the songs to be relatable etc but i'm FULLY aware of the fact that some people just "don't get it" - i'm like that too with a lot of artists and that's completely fine! but i keep my opinions about them to myself :D

however at the end of the day i don't think she cares if people "get" the album or not; she probably did it for shits and giggles and it's not as if she won't afford to put bread on the table if this album flops lol. i don't even know why i got so worked up about this, i might be getting hangry tbh

[heliotism]

PARFAIT COOKIE GENERAL YANDERE HCS.

brainrot made me write this

warning! mild violence, worshipping!

reader is gender-neutral!!

yeah so

parfait cookie craves your attention a lot

she also tries to impress you h25. all the time.

in some way it's kinda similar to mint choco cookie— but she's way way more intense

“hey! [y/n], listen to my new song!” proceeds to sing her lungs out while doing the most fantastic dance moves “was it good? did you like it?? do you want me to change anything??”

she doesn't really care if her original song loses its meaning— if you want something to be changed, then that meant it wasn't good enough for you, and just to please you, she'd change absolutely everything.

i could totally imagine parfait being at a concert, then for a few seconds, she looks at the crowd and notices you amongst the other cookies. at this moment she'll probably just. stop singing for one sec or two bc holy shit she just fell in love.

when the concert ends, parfait tries to find you in the crowd of cookies leaving and then she just drags you behind the scenes to just. get to know you, look at you, yknow stuff like that

and also to beg for you to come to all of her next concerts

outside of the idol life, of course, parfait loves to spend time with you!!

she doesn't necessarily stalk you, but once she knows where you approximately live, she'll always do her concerts there

so at least, you won't have any excuse to not attend!

speaking of not attending parfait's concerts,, she'll be very disappointed.

not disappointed in you! but in herself, that's for sure.

she'll constantly feel like she messed up something, that the song she wrote last time wasn't good enough, and quickly, all that negativity impacts her singing.

all the cookies attending her concert notice something is off with the beloved idol, but they don't know what it exactly is :(

so yeah. you better apologize to her 🔫

when parfait visits your house, she would definitely take some stuff. an old pic of you she found in one of your drawers while you weren't looking, a hair clip if you have any, stuff like that.

eventually it all starts to pile up,,

so what do you do when you have a big pile of stuff you stole from the person you're unhealthily obsessed with??

you make a ✨shrine✨

yeah, she might start to worship you. might.

a sweet fact: when parfait isn't really inspired to write her songs, she thinks of you, and suddenly!! suddenly she writes dozens and dozens of songs!!!

you could think that with all of this, parfait is actually pretty harmless. yeah, she'd never hurt you.

but huh. parfait gets jealous extremely easily. if she ever notices that another cookie fell for you she might do something.

like, i don't know, infiltrate their home in the middle of the night and smashing them with her guitar until they're nothing but dust.

it's both a way to get rid of any possible rival, and also a stress reliever! so cool!!

she's careful not to leave any trace once she's done, because, yknow, being a murderer isn't the best thing for your idol career.

hum, kidnapping. no no no, a big no!! parfait doesn't really like the idea of hurting you in any way, even if it can benefits her :((

also because she doesn't want you to see the tiny shrine she made for you but huh—

dating you would be fantastic!! but if you don't want to, that's fine too! as long as you're happy and you don't go with anyone else she's happy too!! isn't that sweet??

so, to sum it up, parfait cookie is a worshipper+violent yandere. she absolutely adores you, you're her muse, her everything. but if anyone else feels the same way toward you, they're kinda dead. unless they're another yandere. which would probably result in a very violent fight 👍

parfait cookie parfait cookie parfait cookie parfait cookie parfait cookie parfait cookie parfait cookie parf-

[queen-scribbles]

For couples questions: 3 of your choice for Tragen/Jaesa since it seems you're in the mood 😛 and 3 each for AJ/Nate and AJ/Adam

Tragen/Jaesa

Haha, yeah, that mood hit hard(would you believe it was just over a prompt fill? I just love them so much and was missing them, I guess) And picking my own questions is gonna be interesting, since I already got asks for them. :P

8. What do they find physically sexiest about each other?

Jaesa's torn between Tragen's voice and his nose. She loves his nose a lot, but that voice is incredibly sexy and she'd be lying to deny how frequently it gives her extremely pleasant goosebumps.

For Tragen it's Jaesa's eyes. She has these incredibly gorgeous deep brown eyes and he just really loves them a lot. (Her arms aren't bad either :3)

18. Would they have kids together?

100% yes. There would definitely be thought and discussion behind it, bc the galaxy is a fucking MESS right now, but it's always a mess, and they both want kids with each other, so it's a very solid possibility.

26. How are they with PDA?

heh. It doesn't happen on purpose, but they will occasionally go in for what's meant to be a quick kiss only for it to turn into much, much more and not realize they're doing it until Vette or somebody hollers "GET A ROOM"

AJ/Nate

9. Are they a "we" couple?

Oh, absolutely. It's sickeningly adorable and makes Mason fake-retch(and Felix grin) CONSTANTLY. Neither will be deterred.

10. What was their last big fight? What did they learn from it?

Their only(so far?) big fight was after the Trapper ambush in b3, bc while AJ did hide at first, like Nate asked, she's almost as driven to protect as Mallory, so she came busting back out to help midway through when she got scared for them. They learned Nate is over-protective, which surely won't be a problem down the road :))))) and AJ isn't always rational when people she cares about are in danger(this is the woman who tried to FIGHT Murphy even with her lousy combat stat bc it was all she could think to do in the moment. which is why he got away :)) )

I'm sure it'll be fine. They made up. Nate deflected and AJ let him. (She knows he was worried about her, she's not a vampire and has limits/vulnerabilities they don't) There's no way that'll come up again and be a problem in the future. *cackles*

15. What habits or characteristics have they picked up from each other?

Nate's started carrying hairbands in his jacket/jeans pocket in case AJ forgets or hers breaks. AJ's started shoving her hands in her pockets like he does. They've both started moving in sync with each other when they're in the same room/space.

AJ/Adam

heheheheh yes, enable the AU, surely this won't emotionally compromise me at all :P

7. What's their most and least favorite thing about each other?

AJ's favorite thing about Adam is how much he cares about his team, even to the point of making all the hard decisions so it's His Fault on the rare occasions things go wrong. Her least favorite thing is that he's apparently extended that habit to making the call on not admitting they're in love bc... this current state they're in will hurt less than if a nebulous "something" happens down the road? Apparently?

She's sympathetic to what he's told her so far about his family, understands how much it can hurt to lose someone you love(she misses Rook the most out of my girls. Such an empath) But she's of the mind that since they clearly love each other, that's not going to go away through denial so why hurt themselves NOW refusing to enjoy it just in case something happens that could take them from each other ("What if we don't break?"). If refusing to pursue this has both of them in tears, what's the point???? They clearly care about each other enough that if this nebulous Something he's afraid of happens IT WILL STILL HURT LIKE HELL.

Adam's favorite thing about AJ is her genuineness and open heart. She is so heart on sleeve, so open, so optimistic despite everything that happens to and around her(full-blast "Sure maybe there's only a 2% chance you win if you go for it, but there's a 0% chance if you don't even try" girl here). He admires so much the strength of heart/will it takes to still be like that, especially after Murphy. His least favorite thing is her borderline self-destructive level of care for other people. She will "Take me instead, leave them alone!" she WILL throw herself into a fight she can't win to protect/help other people, she will work herself almost to a breaking point trying to save innocents. (even Bobby. The one person in the world she might possibly actually hate, and she'd still risk her life for him bc it's who she IS)

So yeah, that's gonna be just loads of fun moving forward :D so much pain headed my way

14. What little things remind them of each other?

Remind Adam of AJ: Smell of coffee, hairbands, teddy bears(part of him really wishes he'd accepted when she offered the one at the carnival)

Remind AJ of Adam: sunglasses(especially aviators, but any will do it), Dracula(she will die before she admits that to him. But it is one of her favorite books and they did talk about it on the research route :D), moonlight

27. What interests do they share? For interests they don't share, do they ever participate anyway?

They both like to read. AJ definitely likes it more than Adam, but seeing as a good portion of the books in the library are his, it's clearly something he enjoys. At least enough to do with her, if nothing else. :3 AJ is not a Car Person(she's the "I'm not into cars but I know a nice one when I see it" line on his date scene), but she's more than happy to go for a ride in Adam's car, let him talk about it/enjoy it when he wants to. She's very much the "If my SO is happy, I'm happy and want to support him" type.

....now I wonder what Adam's reaction would be to all the random sketches AJ's done of him in the margins of her notes or when she doodles to clear her head >:3

Couples Asks

[audaciousanonj]

Rotted Leaf AU Part Two: But the Roots Still Remain

AKA "Everything is terrible in Konoha forever"

cw: Danzo and Orochimaru, rampant paranoia and mistrust, suicidal ideation

So to recap! Eighteen months after the Uchiha Massacre, Kakashi snapped like a twig and went on a very premediated killing spree of Konoha's entire academy population, minus Iruka (lured out of the building to give Kakashi a reason to be there, and as a treat for Naruto) and Naruto (kept alive for later bijuu extraction purposes), and then vanished in search of Itachi. But what happened in Konoha in the meantime?

Answer: Nothing good.

I must restate, Konoha was just barely starting to recover from losing a founding clan and their police force in one night, and then Kakashi does This Shit. Morale is at an all-time low! Everyone's tense and waiting for the next disaster! The only surviving pre-genin is the one everyone thinks is the demon fox!

Well. That's not entirely true.

POV: You are Sarutobi Hiruzen, Sandaime Hokage. This is a disaster. You have lost an entire generation of future-nin, to the point that you are kind of regretting shutting down your old friend's ROOT, since at least that way you would have some shinobi of that age surviving...

Danzo: ...So, hypothetically, if I didn't shut it down, you would agree to pardon me for not following your orders in exchange for me restarting ROOT Sandaime: ....damn it, fine.

So now ROOT is legitimate again! Yaaaaaay!!!

Naruto is also folded into ROOT, because honestly, with the hatred he's facing for having survived the academy massacre, he's very happy to go underground and away from all of that.

Also Orochimaru is called back for his cloning capabilities, because Konoha has also lost an entire generation of clan heirs, and they might as well allow him back in if ROOT is coming back! Give Orochimaru a lab and let him help build up their forces, it's better than having him as an enemy!

(Fun fact: Tenzo is so not having a fun time now, what with half his ANBU team snapping to killing konoha shinobi and becoming nukenin, and also the return of Danzo and Orochimaru. He is going to end up snapping eventually later in the hopes that lashing out will make everything stop)

Anyways, Sarutobi Wants To Retire Damnit, and at this point Konoha's rep is in the tank anyways, so might as well recall Tsunade too. Make it a goddamn order from her hokage or she'd be officially listed a nukenin, seriously, he does NOT want to be here!!

So the reign of the Godaime begins, in paranoia and mistrust and an entire generation of children dead.

And how are the clans feeling? Well the Yamanaka/Nara/Akimichi trio are going through what's basically a divorce in the wake of their kids' deaths. Complete with all the screaming and blame-passing that goes with it. The Hyuuga clan are going to implode and everyone knows it, the only question is whether the main or branch family is going to twitch first. Inuzuka are leaving bc if they had a nickel for every time a konoha anbu went rogue and slaughtered an entire group of innocent people, children included, they’d have two nickels, which is two nickels too many. the aburame stay bc they gave up one of theirs to Root and know he’s probably still there.

And speaking of ROOT...

Ok so you know that after the acadestruction, absolutely no one wants to go to the academy any more. civilian parents will NOT send their kids, orphans probably'd rather take their chances somewhere else, even clans are leery about sending their kids. So the only other option left is... ROOT. And Danzo's now considered a hero for keeping Konoha from losing all the pregenin age 5-12, but how Danzo is presenting it is "Itachi and Kakashi were in the relatively public eye as rising stars and they slaughtered everyone, my ROOT achieve almost the same level, but in secret and as a group so they're not singled out, and none of them ever slaughtered anyone outside of a mission, so I will continue to do it my way and keep the ROOT secret and secluded from the rest of the population, thank you very much" and no one can really argue with that

so konoha has a new system where future shinobi hopefuls are taken from their families and secluded in training away from everyone else!! yaaaaay!!!

Everything is terrible in Konoha forever.

Also I mentioned the rampant Paranoia and distrust right? because having two well-known geniuses snap and etc less than two years apart does Not inspire trust in comrades. Everyone is waiting, wondering who's going to be the one to snap next. Some people do. When Kakashi's motives are revealed, a lot of people find that they might... make sense, a little. Others get so wound up that they decide to lash out and kill before someone can kill them.

That got a little depressing. Anyway feel free to ask me about individual characters, like Gai or Iruka or Tenzou, and how they're handling things. I might make a post about the symbolism and themes in the au later, and how Kakashi basically has philosophical rabies. Or just send in asks for things like songs that remind me of the au or what i want to use as story titles and I'll get to them.

[approximately20blorbos]

Ayo, it was really fun, so here goes right back at you! What's the latest song you've heard that makes you think about one of your wips/characters, and why does it do that? <3 Gimme, gimme.

!!! thank you!!

man this is actually kind of hard, my memory is so bad lmao. according to my song add history for my big playlist it was Choke by I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME, which could certainly apply to more than one of my characters, but when I played it back right now it made me think of Regaya more than anyone else. as a matter of fact most of the recently added songs apply to her so I guess I'm just fated to talk about he no matter what :)

so tw for murder, grooming, and abuse beneath here but honestly Regaya's past as a whole is a bit of a dead dove do not eat sort of scenario so PROCEED WITH CAUTION, I'm not really gonna sugarcoat things and I'm gonna hide this under a cut too

so this song makes me think so much about when she killed her horrible abusive fiancé, who definitely deserved death many times over, and a little bit how she'd love to do it again to her horrible abusive mother given the opportunity. but mostly about the former so I'm gonna pull some lyrics and talk about them for a bit

first of all, the chorus (trimmed down to the most relevant part):

I wouldn't hesitate to smile while you choke yourself and die now that would be just fine and what a lovely time, that it would surely be so bite your tongue and choke yourself to sleep

now this part kind of makes me think of the murder while it was happening more than anything, it just puts this picture in my head of what happened, BUT before I get into that I have to say that I love that it's written in the future tense bc this was absolutely a premeditative thing on Regaya's end. it took her months of preparation to not only have a plan and poison made (especially being under the ever-watchful eyes of her mother and fiancé) but also an escape plan because going right back to her mother after her fiancé's death was guaranteed to bring her back to square one. She had Embrist's help for all this of course, but that didn't necessarily make it any easier to pull off.

now she used cyanide for the murder (which she made herself) which basically prevents a victim's blood from carrying oxygen around the body (which is sort of like suffocation, I guess?). this was over the course of a little business trip so hiding the evidence and escaping would be easier. Basically due to a little bit of lore if her fiancé tragically disappeared during their travels over this specific stretch of land, no one was likely to look too hard at it, and Regaya could get off scot-free. anyway, she hid the taste of cyanide by serving it to him in sliced marzipan and she used far more of it than what already was a lethal dose, just to take no chances. I'm sure she was terrified this entire time but she was desperate to get out of her situation. I want to say more about how she was feeling in the moment but idk how exactly to explain it? I'm sure she was in the sort of hysterics that can have you laughing and in terrified sobs at the same time. regardless, she did pull off the murder, hid the evidence fine, and fled to the Crystalline Capital where she attended college for the next several years. I'll stop rambling on about the details now lol I'm sure it's a little weird that I have so much to say BUT there's another little lyric I wanna highlight for a second:

you get everything you want and money always talks to the idiot savants

so her fiancé was the sort of entitled rich businessman that this sort of lyric applies to, which is a fairly small detail in the song, but I love when little pieces line up with my daydreams and not just broad themes so it was definitely worth a mention!! this also kind of applies to her mother, who's definitely not only involved in "high society" but also is quite wiling and used to using any form of manipulation and even violence she can to get her way, which mostly has to do with her obsession over continuing the once-royal bloodline so that one day power to the family may be restored. (get over it girlie, your family lost power like 30,000 years ago. things change). she cherry picked that fiancé for his money, status, and family before Regaya was even named and said fiancé tried his damned hardest to groom her into the perfect future trophy wife but yeah, that backfired when she killed him. honestly there are arguably some parallels here bc Regaya's mother killed her husband when he started to realize how horrible she really was and tried to leave with the kids. obviously not identical situations here but I still really like to think about it.

to leave this off on a lighter note - don't worry too much for Regaya. her life gets so much better from here even if she certainly hit more tragedy on the way. nowadays she's very happy and in a pretty good place mentally. she's got a job she loves and finds great satisfaction in, great respect in academic communities for her advancements in medicine, plenty of friends by her side, a husband who loves and adores her for everything she is (especially her independence!), and the kids she's always wanted even if she's been afraid of indulging that dream in the past. so although her past is dark, things turn out alright for her in time.

so that was a lot and I hope it wasn't too dark but thank you for the ask!!! I was glad to have something to answer and this was really fun :)

[thanishua]

Some Genshin things;

May contain spoilers!!

Just a compilation of random thoughts

Am on mobile and don't know how to format lol

- Lumine is canonically over 500 year old at least, plus from another world. I'd hardly think her people would let her jump from universe to universe, world to world if she wasn't considered an adult... Why can't she have any alcohol?

-Also!!! Why couldn't we have matching outfits with Ayaka made 😭😭😭 Can't we dress her up in different regional Teyvat dress?? Or is her outfit really some kind of magically self clean and mend type??

- I love Qiqi, she's precious and must be protected and despite all the memes of her ruining everyone's 50/50 how come I've been playing since the BEGINNING and she's not even C3 yet???? I SMELL SLANDER.

- The game's premise reminds me of a light hearted adventure anime but really, the world is basically built upon genocide? Kinda weird to think about. One moment we're in a sunny meadow laughing and practicing our elemental skills and the next we're in a quest and see dead hilichurls strewn around. Are we sure this is just a kids game???

- Is it really so bad of Aether to want to help turn the people of Kaenrhi'a back to well... People???

- I can't decide who to ship with who. I kinda ship everyone with everyone and yet also not. It's confusing and I have a lot of AO3 to read through now. Not necessarily complaining though.

- There's a lot less fics of it for some characters than I'd have thought.

- How do artifacts work??? Which ones are good???

- NGL sometimes I do get kinda confused when people genderbend Lumine in fics, like Aether is Right There (no hate or anything just really confused. They're basically made to be the same person, no?) Aether's so cute too 😭😭

- Why do the angsty anemo boys tug on my heartstrings so much. It's unfair.

- WHO TO SHIP WITH WHO????

- Anyone have a Teyvat cookbook bc some of them dishes do be looking delicious af.

- I once read a Zhonglumi fic where he'd used the contract they'd made where'd she'd keep him company in exchange for help to look for her brother, to keep her from traveling to another world with her brother once she finally found him and I was distraught. Like damn that was some fine use of inconspicuous canon lore to absolutely traumatize me. That was a scary ass Zhongli, unhinged yet completely composed. Very good fic tho 11/10 would recommend even if our fave Geo Archon was a bit of a psycho in it.

- Will they/won't they, but it's wether Paimon will actually end up betraying the traveler.

- Why did I turn all my fish into fish.... I want the Catch and the damn fish bow. I already gave Sayu the Fish Lord... It's hilarious.

- Once someone said Dainsleif reminded them of a more mature Howl and now I can't unsee...

- The way Aether clearly was meant to be the traveler.. 😭😭 they could at least have TRIED to make sure Lumines pronouns match throughout the text and dialogue and that the Battlepass Story doesn't always condemn her to basically be the Princess of Darkness. Also since it talks of the first and second crowned heir.. does it mean Lumine is basically the elder sibling???

- I still kinda hope we can get a pet fungi and that all past pets (ahem ahem, like the one (1!!) I missed, the oceanid, ahem ahem) will at some point become available regardless of events.

These are my rambles for tonight, might revisit this at a later time 😌😌

Ad astra abyssosque