#while everyone else was bitching and moaning about refusing to learn the names of her /four separate replacements/

[missmitchieg]

.....Is it bad that I kinda want Buck to leave the 118 for a while, get a hobby, and make new friends a la Penelope Garcia, and then Eddie beg him to come back because they forgot how to function without him and don't feel like re-learning how to do that?

[mitts2002]

Aight’ Bet

Hi this is my first time posting on here so I hope whoever is reading this enjoys!! This is a noritoshi kamo x reader where the nori and (Y/N) need a little push from their wonderful Gojo sensei to finally confess~

"Dont you think (Y/N) and noritoshi would make the cutest couple!?" Gojo screamed over the phone to Utahime who sighed in response.

"I can't help but disagree Gojo, Noritoshi doesn't seem ready for a relationship plus is the only reason you rang me really to discuss our students non existent love lives?" Utahime retorted knowing that the couple would in fact be adorable yet refusing to accept that Gojo could actually be right about something.

"No Utahime! I bet if them two were able to spend a few hours together the tension would build up so high that one of them would burst and BAM a couple would be born" the blue eyed male replied, the volume of his voice increasing with each word trying to convince her that they were the highschool sweethearts the jujustu world needed.

“How could you even say that!? I get that its cute whenever they glance at each other and shy away with cute little blushing cheeks but i bet it would take more than a few hours for a whole relationship to-” “OH you bet“ Gojo interrupted an obvious smirk on his face knowing Utahime wouldn’t back down from his advances.

“you know what i meant idiot i wasn’t actually trying to make a bet with you especially after what happened last time” the black haired woman scoffed after hearing a chuckle through the phone.

“Aight’ bet! tomorrow ill bring my second years to kyoto for some training and then lets see if something happens between our precious students“ Gojo proposed excitedly as if he were a child in a sweet shop.

“you know what fine! and im only agreeing cause i know nothings gonna happen tomorrow between them i mean noritoshi is too stiff and (Y/N) always backs out last minute” utahime exclaimed not wanting to prove Gojo right. “GREAT! if i win then you will have to be my slave for 2 whole days and if you win ill be your-” “wait i never agreed to that!” “see ya tomorrow then!” Gojo had quickly rushed his farewells before hanging up relieved he avoided Utahime’s lecture.

"Alright class!" Gojo sensei yelled excitingly as he burst through the doors. This overgrown man child always had something new, it could never be a regular class where his students actually learn then were let out for a break. No Gojo Satorou had to be the most extra male on this earth and for the first time ever it worked in his second year student (Y/N)'s favour.

"What it is now?" Maki groaned with an annoyed expression on her face. No one could blame her though after all the blindfolded man put his beloved students through. "Don't be so sour maki! Be like me a sweet little mochi~ Oh and before I forget I wanted to let you all know that we will meeting with our lovely sister school for some training. Isnt that great!?" Gojo sensei had announced clapping his hands and smiling brightly.

'I wonder if training is all this is' (Y/N) thought to herself realising how sus this situation was before speaking out "wait Gojo sensei weren't we meant to learn a super secret technique today? You said that you were gonna show it us yesterday and that nothing could stop you" (Y/N) questioned as Inumaki gave a little "shake" for support.

"Well my dear (Y/N) something VERY important has come up and we must go to kyoto immediately. You have no right to deny and we will be leaving in 30 minutes so go grab whatever you kids need" Gojo sensei had practically sung before skipping out the door. What an odd man everyone collectively thought before getting up to grab whatever they needed.

30 minutes has passed and in that time panda had gathered his and maki's weapons while you and toge stocked up on cough medicine and basic medical equipment. The journey was short since Gojo had practically teleported you all there and all that was left was to approach the students.

A few figures from the distance were slowly coming into view and (Y/N) could vaguely make out that only utahime, miwa, mai, momo and noritoshi had attended this last minute joint training.

Despite the others reaching and gathering around your small group of second years giving their greetings the only thing your eyes could focus on was noritoshi’s thick black hair as it gently swayed in the breeze. Honestly it was as if the man was in a L'Oréal advert or something.

"(Y/N) stop staring we all know you both have this weird thing going on but we're here to train not flirt dumbass" Maki had whispered into your ear but little did she know that you were in fact here to flirt and not train due to a certain bet between two teachers.

“alright kids listen up! me and the wonderful Utahime sensei have set up this last minute training as its always good to train with new people and techniques. Everyone will be working in pairs“ Gojo announced before Utahime continued.

“The teams we decided on today will be Maki and Miwa, Momo and Imumaki, Panda and Mai then (Y/N) and Noritoshi. Eveyones free to do whatever they want in their sparring matches just don’t severely injure each other, me and Gojo will be watching over the matches and determine the winners“ Utahime informed all the students before they scurried off to in different spaced out areas.

"So Noritoshi how are you? Its been a while since we've last seen eachother" (Y/N) said trying not to let her nervousness show.

"I'm alright just studying and training to be honest. Although I recently started to practice cursive and can even write my own name now" he responded with pride and a small nice.

You laughed causing Noritoshi to cock his head to the side in confusion. "Is there something wrong with cursive?" His deep voice asked with clear offense.

"No no it's just that's so freaking cute and you look so happy about it too" (Y/N) teased with more laughter and ruffled his hair

"Oi don't touch my hair do you know how long it takes to do these wrap bang things?"

"Well how would I know I've never done them nori"

"Well one day I could teach you if you'd like" Noritoshi offered looking to the side trying to hide his red cheeks.

"Aww I'd love that I'm awful at doing hair to be honest so learning some new styles would be great but first we gotta get this dumb sparring match over and done with" (Y/N) moaned as she got into position.

_______________________________

An hour had flew by and the students were taking a break from their matches happily chatting away while the teachers spoke in private about their progress. “come on look at the way they look at eachother OH (Y/N) touched his shoulder SHES FLIRTIN-” “GOJO SHUT THE FUCK UP YOUR SO DAMN LOUD” “sorry but loooook they in love” Gojo cried out with fake tears in his cerulean eyes

“Alright lets just observe look theyre going to the vending machine to get some drinks like FRIENDS DO“ Utahime emphasised on the friends worried she might lose and become this awful mans slave for 2 days.

_______________________________

“Nori im gonna go get a drink from the vending machine do you want one?” “Actually ill just come with you if you dont mind” “OH sure thats fine does anyone else want anything!?” (Y/N) yelled to the whole group receiving a choir of get me this please or get me that and the single tuna mayo.

The walk to the vending machine was quiet but a comfortable silence had fallen upon the pair. It was always like this when you were around Noritoshi Kamo. Peaceful. She didnt feel the need to go the extra mile to entertain him or ensure he wasn’t bored in your presence as your playful banter and sarcastic remarks towards one another was enough for the both of you. 

“(Y/N) is it me or have Gojo and Utahime sensei been staring at us more than the others?“ Noritoshi questioned unable to shake off the feeling of being watched. “Um i’m not too sure i havent been really paying attention to anything other than yo-“ Embarrasment washed over (Y/N) as the words flew out of her mouth before she could stop herself.

“Is that so?“ Nori smirked slightly as you swore you could drop dead right here in this moment. “No i just meant that” “Meant what?“ Noritoshi interrupted leaning closer as you fumbled through your words

“OH LOOK the vending machine is right there better get those drinks“ You quickly said and scrambled away before Noritoshi could get any closer.

“SEE Nori was too intimidating and (Y/N) ran off despite clearly wanting him! its never gonna happen today“ Utahime whispered to Gojo benhind the bushes as he shook his head. “Trust me i have faith in my wonderful (Y/N) I AINT RAISED NO BITCH“ He exclaimed in response while Utahime facepalmed.

The two young adults had collected all the drinks they needed and were ready to walk back to the group. ‘come on (Y/N) you’ve liked this man forever now and everyone knows he must like you back ITS NOW OR NEVER HOE’ (Y/N) screamed words of encouragement to herself before grabbing Noritoshi’s sleeve.

“Is everything alright (Y/N)?” “I have something ive been meaning to tell you Nori, I um like you a lot and i’d like to take you out if you dont mind” (Y/N) had practically yelled at the poor boy because of her stupid nerves and adrenaline.

The silence was broken by an angelic laughter coming from none other than Noritoshi Kamo. “Well i would’ve liked to be the one to take you out but i guess sometimes its alright for traditions and stereotypes to be broken by the younger generation” Nori responded as he walked closer to (Y/N) wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into a sweet kiss. The kiss was messy and clearly new to the both but filled with much love and passion that was finally being expressed by the pair.

As their lips eventually pulled away never wanting this to end, heavy breaths filled the air and cheeks flushed but all that was interrupted by a white haired male clapping in the background screaming “YES I WIN” while the other teacher crouched to the ground tears in her eyes.

[donutloverxo]

The donut mishap

Note - This is the first of my soft!reader series. I'll try to post them chronologically now on. Note that this is set in 2013. And a dear friend helped me out with this. Thanks a lot to her <3.

Summary - A quest of baking donuts brings you to the avengers tower. But what happens when your paths cross with the star spangled man?

Warnings - curse words, steves ptsd

Pairing - Steve Rogers x reader

Word count - 2.3k

Masterlist is linked in the bio!

You squinted your eyes concentrating on putting just the right amount of pressure on the piping bag to get the perfect swirl of frosting on the cupcake. Your breathe hitched as a little air bubble appeared, aside from that it looked perfect. With a nice stiff peak.

You smiled looking over the cupcakes and donuts; over 12 hours of work. You felt like a proud mama.

When you started working at the Bakery, granted you only did so because you loved how cute their desserts looked but never could afford them, you thought you’d get to make money off of your love for baking.

Instead they stuck you in the back, doing books and maintaining accounts. Yeah you were going to grad school to be an accountant but it still wasn’t fair!

You never got to learn anything new about baking, or even try any delicious pastries. You just spent 4 hours everyday playing with the numbers.

And then you got a call from Linda, your boss. Panicking about how the head chef is sick and they have an order from the Avengers.

The Avengers were just a bit controversial. But for the most part everyone was grateful for them and looked up to them.

You can’t disappoint them. They’re superheros! Literal gods!

You didn’t really have much of an opinion on them. Except that the God of thunder from space made you all tingly sometimes.

You were just happy you got the chance to make such variety of desserts. Maybe now you could convince Linda to let you help out in the kitchen every now and then.

“You’re going to have to deliver them yourself.” Linda said looking them over and taking a small bite from the mint macaroon. “Take a taxi. Think you can handle it?” She handed you a hundred dollar bill.

There were only two boxes, one with the donuts and another with different assortments of patisseries. You accepted the bill and called for an Uber.

Normally the bakery doesn’t do delivery but when someone even mentioned Tony Starks name, Linda agreed to deliver, almost gave it away for free.

You made it to the tower in one piece. Glad to know that all the desserts seemed like they were doing alright in the boxes. You craned your neck up to look at the tower. Yet you couldn’t see the top.

You tried your best to be careful with the giant pink boxes in your hands muttering ‘excuse me' to anyone you may come across so as to not bump into them. You gently lay the boxes on the reception counter. Giving the brunette receptionist a huge warm smile.

“These are for Pepper Potts. Should I just leave them here...” You trailed off.

Looking around to see everyone dressed to the nines in sleek business formal clothes. You were wearing your pink dress with small red strawberries splattered all across it, it ended just below your knees, maybe not the perfect dress for the beginning of fall, or making a delivery for that matter. It made you feel self-conscious you tried your best to not think about how unprepared you must seem.

Which wasn’t entirely your fault. They were the ones that expected such a large order in under 12 hours.

“Alright ma'am you can go up and set them up.” She said hanging up the phone and giving you a visitors pass.

“Oh I...” You wanted to disagree. Ask for someone else to do it. You just KNEW you were going to mess it up.

But you couldn’t really say anything when she smiled “Thank you.” Probably in a way to shoo you off and deal with the person behind you.

You somehow made your way to the elevator, asking for directions twice, only it was too crowded and you were running out of time. “I’ll take the next one.” You said, although no one really seemed to care, they were either looking at their phones or chatting with each other.

A nervous smile painted on your face, so you could delude yourself into thinking everything is fine to calm your nerves. You couldn’t even afford to take your phone out of your sling bag to look at the time, not with your hands occupied.

After waiting for forever you were able to get into an elevator which was only occupied with a few people. Finally you were at your desired floor.

You were to take the boxes to conference room B12.

So you looked around, distracted. Your mother had always told you that your absent mindedness will one day come to bite you in the ass.

‘Try living in reality once in a while.’ She had said in such a condescending tone.

You huffed back then, thinking you were fine just the way you are. Until you bumped into what you thought was a brick wall, too distracted by the numbers and signs and twists and turns.

You quickly looked in front of you, when you felt the boxes you had held up collide with something. It wasn’t a wall, it was what looked like a human man. You tried to balance your feet stumbling back a bit before falling flat on your ass.

“Omph” You let out as you felt the cold hardwood floor sting your behind. Your precious donuts and desserts falling to the ground.

You looked at the ruins, how the frosting and sprinkles decorated the floor, taking it all in, asking yourself if this is a dream.

By the angle you were sitting in, you were sure the man could see your underwear, but you didn’t care. Because you were completely ruined.

You looked up at him, your lips quivering and your eyes glossy. “Why?” You asked as he stared at you completely dumbfounded, as if he had never seen a girl before.

Steve wanted to refuse right away. As soon as they said the words ‘honor’ and ‘appreciate’. A ceremony just to honor him and thank him for his service to his country.

He did try to convince Tony that he hated such things. To be the centre of attentions and plaster on a pageant smile for all the flashing cameras. That is not what he signed up for. His goal was never to get fame and recognition.

He ultimately had to relent. Because it was supposed to be an inspiration for others and to ‘boost morale’.

“Just flash your perfect pearly whites for a few hours, it’s really not that hard.” Tony said slapping Steve’s shoulder. As if they’ve been friends forever and he doesn’t take some kind of sick sadistic pleasure in watching Steve suffer.

They spoke of how brave he was, how even as a sickly kid he stood up for what was right. For his country.

Really he could tolerate all that. Even be grateful for it.

But his anxiety came back as they showed pictures from the wartimes, projected onto the white screen.

He’s a hero they said.

So brave.

Selfless and compassionate.

A man out of time.

Lies. Blatant lies. He was far from a hero. He knew that. But he realized the extent of it when he saw the pictures, some of them familiar to him, having happened just in front of him not so long ago, even if it had been decades for everyone else.

All of his brothers, his best friend died. Protecting their country. For their duty. They made the ultimate sacrifice and were more than happy to do so.

He recalled one commander saying how he would love to die serving his country. It would be his greatest accomplishment.

And here he was. Wearing a suit that he had no doubt cost thousands of dollars. Drinking expensive champagne, giving interviews, having his face on magazine covers. Taking pictures with his ‘fans'. Living the high life.

How the fuck was he a hero?!

He couldn’t look at the remaining pictures or listen to them. He tried to zone them out, tune out his anxiety and his guilt. To not let his mind go to those dark places, to linger on the past. Nothing good would come out of it.

He could still do good. Be good. Wash off his sins. If he kept trying and moving forward. If only it wasn’t so hard.

There was no such thing washing your sins off of you. No one can resolve their sins by simply confessing to them in church. Or counting thousands of hail marys. His hands and his soul will always be tainted with blood.

Somehow he got through the whole thing. He was about to run off the men’s room. To take a breathe and collect his thoughts.

Tony stopped him “What’s with your resting bitch face Rogers?” He snarked but was taken aback by the scowl he received “Fine go. Remember we have a meeting with the corporal.”

Which was what the whole ruse was all about. To appease the army. He was surprised at just how bad the whole world is, but he couldn’t even begin to comprehend the shitshow that the army had become.

He rubbed his face sprinting towards the balcony. To get some fresh air, be alone as long as he can before he has to go back to being Captain America.

Maybe that’s why he didn’t hear your footsteps, which his sensitive hearing really should’ve picked up on.

He turned the corner only bump into you. Making you fall on your ass.

“Why?” You gave him a look of betrayal as tears fell down your face. You wiped your cheek with the back of your hand kneeling and working on putting your desserts back in the box.

“Oh my god... ma’am I’m so sorry.” He apologized as soon as he registered what he had down. Crouching down before you to help you clean it up. But he doubted that you would be able to eat them.

“All my work.” You moaned looking up and meeting his eyes.

Your defeated face almost made him pull you into his arms. But it wouldn’t exactly be proper to do that to a stranger.

“Don’t call me ma'am!” You huffed as more tears escaped your eyes. “I’m not like 50!” You crossed your legs sitting on the floor and staring at your boxes.

“What should I call you then?” He asked his tone gentle and inquisitive. Truly curious to know what your name was.

“How about you call me nothing? You’ve done enough.” You frowned as you looked into his crystal blue hues. He was simply put beautiful.

You never thought that’s the adjective you’d use to describe a man, but that was all you could think of.

However his beauty didn’t excuse his actions. It certainly wouldn’t bring back the desserts you worked so hard on. So all you could do was be mad at him.

“I can pay for them.” He blurted out and then winced. You probably made them yourself. He can’t exactly replace them.

“It was the first time I truly baked. And now I’ll lose my job.” You sniffled tracing the frosting which was smeared on the floor with your finger. “And the Avengers will all go hungry...” You rambled your voice small. All you wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry into a pillow.

You sneered at him as he chuckled. He immediately stopped pressing his lips into a straight line. “I doubt they’ll go hungry. I promise you won’t lose your job. No one has to know.” He reasoned. His plump rosy lips stretch into a smile, that must be worth at least a million dollars. His eyes creasing and yeah he really was beautiful.

You felt your anger resolving but decided to remain firm. To not let him work his charms on you. “They will call my boss when the delivery doesn’t arrive. And my boss will fire me!” You exclaimed spelling it out for him. Since he seemed to fit the stereotype of the dumb pretty blonde. Or was that exclusive to women?

“I can promise you no one will tell your boss.” He hesitated but then put his hand over yours in an effort to reassure you.

“What? How – how will you do that?” You asked getting more and more frustrated that he failed to understand just how grave this situation was for you.

“I uh... do have that kind of authority.” He said giving you a small nod. At least he could do some good with this ‘status' he held.

“Hm” You hummed still suspicious. But he was wearing a suit which looked expensive. His stance seemed that of someone who was powerful. His voice although soft held some stern undertones. “I – how do I believe you?” You asked and laughed at your misery as you realized you didn’t really have a choice.

Finally, pressing a palm on the floor you got up. Collecting your boxes. “It’s okay.” You sighed. “I guess I wasn’t really looking either. Whatever happens I’ll deal with it.” You said giving him a somber look.

“Uh – are you sure?” He stammered afraid he got you in trouble and couldn’t really do anything about it. Even more so that you were leaving and he’d probably never get to see you again.

“I’m not really a liar.” You shrugged as he stood up with you.

You didn’t have the opportunity to marvel at his tall stature, and how big he was compared to you. Or just big in general. You simple turned around your head hung low.

Only to look back at him over your shoulder. You tried to suppress a whimper, at just how hopeless you were, and asked “Which way is the elevator?”

Tags will be in the reblog! If you want in on the taglist click the link in the bio or shoot me an ask/dm.

Please note that my work is NOT to be reposted or published anywhere other than my Tumblr or AO3 account without my permission. Reblogs are most welcome though!

[holylulusworld]

The new boss in town

Request: Would you please write for Bucky & reader, wherein he’s in love with Natasha but is forced to marry reader, he’s never home ignores her even when she tries hard. She even has to work as a waitress for money, one-night Brock tries to rape her, Steve arrives just in time and saves her. They become good friends. It’s on you if you want her to stay with Bucky or get married to Steve. It could be an au where they are not Avengers.

Pairing: Mobster!Bucky x Mobster!Reader, Mobster!Steve x Mobster!Reader, Thor Odinson, Dr. Cho

Warnings: angst, mafia business, injured Bucky, arguments, language, smut, unprotected sex, hair pulling, possessive Bucky, love triangle

Consolation Bride Masterlist

The days after Arianna attacked you were a blur. You had to check on Bucky who was in an artificial coma to recover.

Every day you spent with ‘your’ men and every night you spent at the hospital, watching over Bucky.

Steve was with you every day too. He almost clung to you and you must admit you got closer. It happened subconsciously but now you are in too deep.

Sam helped you preparing the burial for your father. You fulfilled all his wishes, Steve was by your side the whole time, holding your hand.

Now you are in your father’s office, looking through his papers as you debate to watch the video he left for you as his last will.

“You should watch it, boss.” Thor, one of your father’s best men rumbles. He was always kind and he’s one of the few being loyal to you after your father’s death. Many men just left, telling you or rather Sam they won’t work for a chick.

“You’re right, Thor. I just don’t know if I can face him yet. I hated him for most of my life, but he protected me. He kept me safe.” Your eyes water but you blink the tears away, pressing play to watch the video.

Your father seems to be nervous and you wonder why. You never saw him like that before. Thor’s hand squeezes your shoulder tightly, to make sure you know that at least he is on your side.

“Dear daughter…no…Y/N. I know life wasn’t always easy by my side. First I need to tell you I always loved you and your mom. After her death, I realized I need to make things up to you. I tried to do so by telling Bucky to marry you. I swear I thought he still loves you, that his behavior is only a game he plays to make sure I do not harm him or you. It wasn’t me telling Mark’s father Bucky killed his son. I swear on your mother’s grave, Poppy…”

Your father clears his throat, wiping away a few tears before he points toward the bookshelf behind him. 

“You still got the necklace of your mom – right?”

Glancing at the chain around your neck you nod, as if your father could see the motion. He’s smiling, knowing you looked down at the necklace right now.

“Good. Use the key hanging from the chain after your removed Tolstoy’s ‘A Confession’. A door will open, and you find everything you need to take over my empire and bring Arianna and her family down. I know Bucky didn’t go easy on you, believing I’m responsible for his brother’s death and I’m sorry but I had to make sure you don’t fall victim to Mark’s family. If you listen to my words now I’m dead and I pray you are safe, Poppy. Please don’t trust anyone but Steve, Bucky, and Thor. I know you will hate me but please call Bruce Banner…he’s one of my men too.”

“Son of a bitch!” Cursing you stop the video shaking your head. “Is everyone in my life a mobster?”

“Y/N, he asked Bruce to take care of you, to make sure you are safe and earn enough money to survive. Your father wanted to talk to James but then Brock attacked you and before he could clarify a few things Arianna happened. I’m sorry, I failed to protect your father.” Thor sighs heavily, guilt-ridden he glances at the TV.

“You weren’t around, Thor. Father sent you away.” 

“I know…”

Pressing play, you hold back more tears while your father tells you how much he loved you and your mother. That her death is still a mystery but that he assumes it was part of Arianna’s plan to bring you back home.

“I’ve got no proof, Poppy but I believe Mark’s father got to know I helped Bucky that night and that his brother was involved too. The only thing he didn’t know was that James killed Mark to protect you. I know it’s much to ask for but please take over my empire. Be what you always should’ve been, my heir, Poppy. All the things you learned in France, use it.”

“What does he mean?” Steve asks entering the room as you smirk at your father, nodding. “I wasn’t in France to study at the Sorbonne, Steve. I was there to learn about the family business.”

“Wait…what?” Gasping Steve plops onto a chair, shaking his head. “What else did you learn?” His blue eyes search your face as your grin widens.

“Simply everything, Steve… I just pushed all this knowledge away, tried to be the perfect wife for Bucky but now…” Pointing at the gun at your waistband you tilt your head. “No more shy girl, Stevie.”

“Why didn’t you fight back against Brock back then?” Your eyes drift toward your father as you blink away a few tears. “I don’t know Steve. I was so lost in my headspace; the place I pretend I belong, that I forgot how to fight back. It was as if I watched someone else getting attacked. Does that make sense?”

Nodding thoughtfully Steve gets up to pace around the room. His blue eyes meet yours as you smile at your friend. “Don’t worry. I needed to be saved back then. I needed you. Now be silent and listen to my father.”

“All important papers are hidden in this secret room too. Bank accounts, our business partners, enemies…dirty secrets. I can only beg you to be careful and only trust the men I named. I love you, Poppy. Now take over my business and show everyone you are the new boss in town.” Your father blows you a kiss before he smiles one last time at you. “I’m sorry, Y/N. Daddy loves you…”

----

Two weeks later…

“What do you mean with he refuses to let the nurse help him? Why is he not training to use his prosthesis either?” Cursing you glare at Dr. Cho, shaking your head. “I’m not paying you for making excuses for my lazy husband. He has to get his ass out of this bed…like yesterday.”

“I tried, I swear but Mr. Barnes is refusing to let me help him, refuses to even let the nurse get close to him.” Dr. Cho sighs, hearing Bucky throwing things at the nurse trying to check on the prothesis at his left side.

“Get out, slut!” Bucky barks and you sigh heavily. 

“I’ll handle this, Dr. Cho. Tell the nurse Bucky is sorry.” Ripping the door open your storm into the room, shaking your head.

“What the heck is wrong with you, Barnes?”

“I lost my arm! I can’t feel anything with this thing, not even get off any longer. You are asking me what’s wrong, Baby Girl? Seriously?” Bucky is angrily clenching his jaw. The bulge in his pants too prominent you chuckle lightly.

“Since when does Bucky Barnes give up that easily?” Teasing your husband, you push him back onto the bed before you slide your dress down your shoulders. Completely bare you straddle his lap. 

Your fingers slide over his scared shoulder and he contorts his face. “I can’t even hold you in my arms…” Sighing you slap his cheek before you lean closer to him. Face only inches from Bucky’s you smirk. “It’s not like you ever wanted to hold me lately, Barnes.”

“Baby…did she hurt you? Are you okay? I couldn’t see or hear anything after she shot me. How did you make it out?” Bucky is gently squeezing your ass with his flesh hand as you bury your face into his neck, inhaling his musky scent deeply.

“Steve got out of the ropes. Arianna wanted to shoot your head, but Steve got hold of the weapon she dropped and shot her. I told him to take care of you first.”

“How did you get this thing at my body?” Cursing Bucky points toward Stark’s prosthesis. “Stark. Steve called him and Tony tried to use the remaining nerves to create a connection between your body and the artificial arm he created. It was hard work, Buck. Tony said you should be able to use this arm just like you used your flesh one. Even feel…"

Bucky gropes your ass with the flesh hand, trying to move your body up and down his crotch. “Fuck doll, I’m so hard it hurts.”

“Hmm…Mr. Barnes…if you want me to help you out.” Smirking you lock eyes with your husband. “Use your new arm, till then you won’t get any and I ride Steve’s dick…”

“What…” Growling Bucky tries anything to use the arm. His metal fingers twitched for a moment and you hum, moving your hand over the cool metal. “You want Steve…”

“Bucky it’s been months and we got closer while you were in a coma.” Now Bucky’s face falls and he refuses to look at you. “You know, I took over two empires, Buck. I think I can handle two guys…”

“Y/N…I…” Ignoring Bucky’s confused look you grind against his erection, taking what you want. 

“You can choose, Buck. I got my empire, enough money, and power but I still want to fuck this huge cock of yours right now. Yes or no…”

Fisting Bucky’s hair you force him to look up at you and he starts panting heavily. Aroused as never he moans your name when you slide your fingers over his scarred shoulder. “Did you fuck Steve?” He gasps as you nibble along his jawline.

“Not yet…” Now Bucky growls as you bite his neck hard enough to leave an angry mark. “I wanted to fuck you first. Going to check out who can make me cum harder.” One hand slipping into his boxers you squeeze his hard member tightly, not caring about the whines leaving Bucky’s lips.

“You’re mine…my wife. You don’t fuck Stevie…” 

“I’m past asking for permission or following orders, James. I’m going to fuck you now and maybe later I fuck your best friend. I haven’t decided yet.” Shrugging you crawl down Bucky’s body to slide his boxers down.

“Fuck…Y/N…I.” He gets no chance to form a coherent sentence as you straddle his lap, grabbing his cock to sink down his shaft, taking what you want. 

Your hand collides with Bucky’s cheek and he starts panting heavily. “Shut up, Bucky. You are my slut from now on! I’m going to make you my good boy, only good for fucking me.”

“Holy hell, doll!” Shocked Bucky looks up at you with lust-blown pupils as you ignore his outburst. When you start to roll your hips Bucky wants to grab your hip with his flesh hand, but you slap it away.

“Both or none, Bucky!” You threaten and he growls with every slow movement of your hips. He needs all his strength, but he manages to slightly lift his prosthesis, cursing.

“You can do it, baby. You want to come, make me ride you harder!” Voice hard you fist Bucky’s hair, grinding against him to add pressure to your swollen bud.

Still fighting his body Bucky, tries to raise the arm again and fails. “I want to fuck you…” Gritting his teeth he pants against your lips as you breathe against him. “Forget it’s a foreign arm, see it as yours, James.”

Placing your hands onto Bucky’s chest you dig your knees into the mattress to move faster. He’s going crazy underneath you, trying anything to grab your hips he ignores the metal arm and lifts his flesh one.

Smiling you feel cool metal gripping your flesh tightly to guide your movement. Bucky is growling, suddenly fully aware he can touch you with this arm he flips you onto your back to pin your hands down. “Gonna fuck you hard…” 

He’s pounding you hard the moment he has control over your body. You could easily get out of his grip, but you made him use the arm, so you submit for a moment by wrapping your legs around his waist. “Yeah, show me what you’ve got Barnes. Fuck me as you mean it.”

“You’re mine…” His hips start moving in a maddening pace while his stormy blue eyes watch you falling apart, crying out his name. “Fuck you’re so tight. Gonna fill you up, mark you as mine.”

Your toes start curling and you are close to falling over the edge as Bucky pulls out of you to flip you onto your stomach, using his metal arm like his normal one. You want to protest but Bucky is back on you, gripping your waist to shove you onto his cock, impaling you once again.

His flesh hand fists your hair while his metal one holds your thigh in a tight grip. He’s roughly thrusting into you, not caring about the obscene noises he presses out of you. “Scream my name, Baby Girl. I will make you mine all over again.”

Fisting the sheets, you feel the coil tightening and you are so close to your high it hurts. Your body moves on its own to meet Bucky’s punishing thrusts. He’s groaning behind you, feeling you finally wrapped around him, a dream coming true. “Come for me…” He orders or rather yells, and you squeeze him tightly.

“Fuck…”

Bucky lazily moves his hips to ride your high out until he spills his cum into you, chuckling at the sight of your spent body collapsing on the bed the moment he let go of your hair. “You look so pretty fucked out by me, Baby Girl.”

He takes a moment to pull out, just savoring the feeling of you wrapped around him as his cum seeps out of you. When he finally pulls out he slaps your ass with his metal hand chuckling when you curse his name.

“At least you learned how to use the arm.” Snuggling into the pillow you take a moment to catch your breath. “Yeah…” Bucky is crawling up your body, moving the cool metal hand over your thigh.

His breath is hot in your neck when he presses his chest to your back. “How is business lately, Mrs. Mobster?” Bucky chuckles into your neck. “I know you are pretty tough for such a tiny girl. Love it you are smaller than me.”

“I managed to keep daddy’s business running. Some men quit; they didn’t want to work under a girl. Thor, Bruce, and T'Challa are still with me. You should watch the video my father left.” 

“Babe, I’d love to ‘work’ under you any time.” Bucky groans glancing at your naked form. His hands gently caress your back as the door to your bedroom opens and a flustered Steve tries to ignore your naked body right in front of him.

“Boss, we should talk…”

“Give me a minute, Stevie,” Bucky mutters and Steve clears his throat, pointing toward you. “Sorry, but she is the new boss in town, Buck. We need to talk about Mark’s father and more. You can join us…”

Bucky is clenching his jaw when you start chuckling into the pillow. You know he’s an Alpha type and hearing you have more power than him right now makes him furious. “So…I fucked my new boss, awesome.” A dirty grin on his lips Bucky moves down your body to bite your cheek. 

“Buck’ we gotta work to do.” Steve insists trying so hard to ignore the tingling in his body or the twitch of his cock. 

“Steve, give me a minute to feel my legs again and then we can talk about revenge, the business and how I want to ride your dick…”

All works Tags

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Marvel Tags

@stuckys-whore, @notyourtypicalrose, @voltage-my2dlove, @thedoctorscamanion, @officialmarvelwhore, @randomgirlkensy, @juniorhuntersam, @lumar014, @doctorswife221b, @sister-winchesters99, @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog, @the-soulofdevil, @chonisberonica , @redroomproperty, @natura1phenomenon, @chaoticfiretaconerd

Steve Rogers/Chris Evans Tags

@hhiggs, @roonyxx, @stylesismyhubs, @multisuperfandom, @mrspeacem1nusone, @shadowcatsworld , @fallenoutofrose, @rynabarnesrogers

Bucky Barnes/Sebastian Stan Tags

@rynabarnesrogers

Consolation Bride Tags

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[taetaesbaebaepsae]

BTS as FWB

Maknae Line

Warnings: smut, angst, fluff, alcohol tw

Word Count: 2,585

Taehyung (V)

Look, in his mind you're his gf he doesn't understand fwb

He likes you so much and when you suggest an arrangement he's stoked but really he just thinks you're dating

You are definitely the one who's afraid of commitment this boy would marry you in a month if you were down

So many pet names: baby, honey, Jagiya, beautiful, darling you wonder if he knows your actual name

Confused puppy "I can't text you so much? But we have a thing."

"Not a serious thing."

Pouty boi

Sweet in bed, generous lover, will eat you out for HOURS if you'd let him (you find out real quick about his oral fixation)

You absolutely know he will freak if he knows you're seeing someone else

He takes it a lot better than you thought

He's just kinda quiet, nodding

"You can see other people too, you know."

"Sure, sure." He waves you off.

He's not usually the jealous type but since things are certain between you he is salty

Oh boy the first time you have sex after he finds out

IT'S ON

Rough, pulling your hair, dirty talk in his deep ass voice, marks all over your neck, chest, thighs

You: shook. Your panties: flooded

A little cocky afterward when your legs are still shaking he leaves, which is way unusual he usually stays to cuddle

He's only obviously mad about it if he finds out you're going on actual dates with some guy

Gets STUPID drunk with his friends

They definitely text you to warn you he's feeling some type of way

Crying on your voicemail at 2am

Ubers to your house

"Is he here?" Looking around your place suspiciously

So sloppy drunk omg

Like falling down drunk you gotta all but carry his heavy ass to the bed

You can't help but stroke his hair after he pukes in your wastebasket he's so pitiful

Babbles incoherently about how amazing you are

"You know I'm in love with you, right?"

Will literally break your heart by being the sweetest boy alive

When you wake up the next morning though he's goneBarely responds to your texts

Starts calling you y/n instead of pet names so you know he's pissed

Says petty shit like "Aren't you busy with your bf?" When you ask to hang out

Turns on a dime bc he feels pathetic for liking you so much when you obviously don't care. His pride is hurt

Definitely tries to make you jealous when you end up at a mutual party

All over this girl, making out with her in the kitchen

You act unaffected (you are not)

You end up drunk af and dirty dancing with Hobi when Tae snatches your arm and hauls you to an empty bedroom

Passionate kissing, he's trying to show you what you're missing

He's still mad but he's drunk enough to be honest

"Why him? Why won't you date me? You know how I feel about you."

You tell him you're scared, girls are all over him just look at that bitch from earlier

"I only did that because you broke my heart, Jagi."

When you finally tell him you love him too he is the happiest boy

Boxy smile for days

Will propose to you after three months max

Jimin

He doesn't know you that well when you suggest an arrangement but you're hot and nice and he's a busy man so he's all for it

He falls in love with you about 30 seconds after you start hanging out regularly

He's ALL talk, when you finally get him alone in your bed he's shy, blushing when you touch him

Takes him a while to get comfortable with you but oh man when he does

Also a switch look he's the switchiest switch to ever switch next to Hobi

You get whiplash bc one minute he's begging you in whiny moans to let him inside you and the next minute you're begging him to let you come

Such a tease, oh my God

Foreplay for HOURS

Will just ever so lightly run his fingers up and down your legs while you're doing Netflix and chill

Stops just when you get worked up giving you a sheepish grin

Mostly teases you until you jump his bones

But gets so whiny when you do it to him (he loves it)

You walk around in booty shorts and no bra but won't let him touch you and he's SALIVATING

He is always touching you, in private or public he lives for skinship

It makes him shiver when you reciprocate though, just a hand in the hair at the nape of his neck and he's hard

You love doing that to him when you're out to lunch or watching Game of Thrones with the boys and he gives you such an evil eye

Y'all fucking everywhere, all the time

Once he gets comfortable with you this boy will not stop

You have very little time for anything else when he's not physically there he's sending you sexts and pics of his abs

Brags about you to literally everyone, his friends, his mom, strangers on the street

He will literally put "it's complicated" on his FB relationship status

BTW you're all over his social media everybody knows what's up

tons of pictures together

His phone background is a selfie of him kissing you

Begs for nudes on the daily until you send him a bunch while he's at dance practice and he opens it when Tae is standing behind him, getting a free show

Jimin is big mad when Tae lets out a low wolf whistle

Will definitely not so playfully wrestle him to the ground if he keeps it up

Never asks you for nudes again but saves the ones you send to use when youre unavailable

Is the happiest boy ever when you call him a pet name like "Jiminie" or "baby"

Huge flirt when he's drunk but always makes his way back to you

God help you if you show even the slightest bit of attention to another guy (guy, girl, pet, houseplant) when he's around

The poutiest jealous baby in the world

He's had feelings since day one and everyone knows but he's too insecure to actually say it

When you blow him off to hang out with another guy he's a MESS, similar to Tae

He is literally crying in the club when the guys take him out to cheer him up

One drop of alcohol and he drunk dials and texts you but this time it's bad

His friends have to physically take his phone bc you're not answering and he's getting more and more drunk

When you finally call back after you get home a very exasperated Namjoon all but carries Jimin to your apartment. "You did this. He's your problem now."

Namjoon doesn't like you much already bc he knows how Jimin feels about you and he's d o n e

Jimin almost knocks you to the ground throwing his arms around you, smelling like a bottle of tequila, sloppy kisses

"Jimin what the fuck-"

"I missed you, baby. Where you been?"

"Jimin I told you I was hanging out with Chanyeol-"

Suddenly his drunk ass remembers why he's such a mess

He's not even mad at first this insecure baby just asks you ten million questions

He'll start casual but he's fucked up so it isn't long before the questions turn

"Did you have fun?"

"Sure, we-"

"Is he better looking than me? Did he fuck you better? Is he bigger than me? Why won't you answer me?"

You have to force him to the bedroom and then he refuses to get on the bed

"I'm not sleeping where you fucked someone else."

"Oh my GOD, Jimin, I didn't-"

"You didn't fuck him?"

"Not here, I didn't!" You're exasperated by this point he is being so difficult

But then you see his pouty bottom lip trembling

"Jimin, are you crying?"

Well if he wasn't before he is now (we all know this soft baby boy)

You end up holding him all night thinking that when he wakes up he'll calm down and be embarrassed you are no stranger to crying while you were fucked up

Jokes on you he's still crying when you wake up the next morning, clinging to you like a koala bear

"I know I'm not enough for you baby but I can't take it when you're out with other guys!"

You spend an hour praising him and telling him he's definitely enough and he preens like a goddamn cockatoo (this boy's praise kink is a mile wide we all know)

You tell him how good he is and he fucks you into next week before he's clinging to you all over again

"Tell me you won't do that again, baby. Tell me you're only mine."

You give in bc he's so fucking adorable and tell him you'll think about it

He's persistent af

Every morning you crack open one eye and read "how about now?" from his needy ass

You finally text back "FINE" after three days

He shows up at your door with flowers and a big grin

He's cute or whatever

Maybe you're in love

Jungkook

You really have to talk him into this arrangement

You had hooked up with him at a party after you'd been friends for a couple of weeks and you may or may not have been thirsty

But he's hesitant

"This shit never works out well. Someone always gets hurt."

You're all whiny like "I'm a big girl I won't catch feelings get over yourself."

He just tucks his tongue into his cheek bc he's not worried about YOU catching feelings

Low-key a soft boi

You basically just sext him and send him nudes to appeal to his hormones and it works

About a week after you talked about it he comes to your place after the club

At first you only fuck when he's been drinking it's a guarantee that you're getting the D when he's had a drop of alcohol

I've said this once and I'll say it again put it on my gravestone

Jeon Jungkook is NOT A DOM

He's not a sub either but he is not having a daddy kink you'll have to find that shit in porn ok

At first even when he's shitfaced he's hesitant with you, asking permission before he touches you

Good Lord this boy loves getting head

Seeing you on your knees is his ultimate weakness

And he will ALWAYS reciprocate

And fuck you right after bc he's up again in ten minutes

Look I know I said he's not a Dom but he loves the way you look with come on your face

You've never had a guy be so fucking sweet to you right after saying the dirtiest shit

He'll bring you a towel and wash your hair if he's missed the aim

He hasn't been with many girls and nobody long term

So after a few weeks he learns your body and he will fuck you everywhere

On the kitchen table

Bent over the couch

Once in the elevator of your apartment

He gets so hard when you tease him and won't let him touch you it's ridiculous

He ain't too proud to beg, that's for sure

Low-key loves to cuddle but won't initiate it

Is not shy about asking for sex will be like "Wanna fuck?" after you get done eating burritos or something

He doesn't stay the night until after one night when you both were really drunk after the club and he was too hungover to leave

You took care of him and bought him greasy food and watched him play Overwatch

He kept meaning to leave but you were so sweet and cute

Next thing he knows you're riding him on your bed and it's really during sex that he realizes he's fucked, in more ways than one

You flip your hair back and brace your hands on his chest and you just look so beautiful and he's like oh no

He leaves right after but you shrug it off since he's been so hungover

But then he's shady and rarely texts you for a couple weeks

You're starting to think he's found a girl he likes bc he's been out a lot according to his friends

He's partying his troubles away

He does NOT want to tell you he's caught feelings especially since you had to literally talk him into this

And the more he's around you the more he wants to cuff you so he avoids you and fucks around, trying not to compare every girl to you

You're the first girl he's been with more than a handful of times and he is Jungshook at the possibility that he's fallen in love

He's a dick to his friends, snapping at them about nothing bc he misses you

"God, just call her already." Jimin fumes after he bites his head off for leaving dishes in the sink.

Jungkook shakes his head.

"I saw her out with her friends the other night, you know."

Jungkook sets his jaw but otherwise doesn't react

"Ok, but she's too hot to wait forever."

Jungkook shrugs but he starts going to bars you might frequent, telling himself he wasn't looking for you

You do start going out with other guys, since the arrangement seems over and you were never exclusive anyway

You're making out with a guy after a wild night with your girlfriends and while he's kissing your neck you see Jungkook over his shoulder, staring at you, beer in hand

He. Looks. Livid.

You shrug it off as male ego and end up taking the guy home

When you look at your phone after an hour or so Jungkook is blowing you the fuck up

First it's casual "hey it's been a while wyd"

"who's the nerd?"

"u up?"

"let me come over"

You know he's still drinking when at 5am he texts you "wake up I miss you"

He shows up looking a whole mess just as the guy is leaving

He smells like a brewery and he's got lipstick stains on his collar

You smirk at him

"Missed me, huh?"

"Maybe."

He sees the guy leaving and suddenly he has absolute murder in his eyes, literally cracking his knuckles

The poor guy fucking books it without even getting your number

"So," he says, leaning against your doorjamb as if trying to look sexy (he does) but you figure he just really can't stand up straight (also true)

"So?"

"Did you fuck that loser?" He's got his tongue working his cheek again.

"Oh, so now you're talking to me again and that's the first thing you ask? You jealous, Kookie?"

He grabs you suddenly and pulls you into his arms and now he's not trying to be tough anymore

He kisses your shoulder

"Yeah, I'm jealous."

"Why?"

He pulls away and kisses you real sweet

"Maybe I like you."

"Yeah?" You need more than that.

"A little."

"Uh huh. Well he said he liked me a lot so maybe I'll call him-"

He grabs you around the waist and kisses you harder this time

"Don't you dare," he growls.

He puts his forehead to yours.

"Maybe I love you."

"Why didn't you just say that? Maybe I love you too, dork."

Sweetest bunny smile

Jungkook is the world's best boyfriend, don't @me

[lovelessmako]

Ve Chapter 6

The one where they meet!

The first thing Kivet noticed when he approached the town was a large crowd with the sound of clanging coins coming from the center. Upon getting closer, he was able to see a young woman in the center, scantily dressed in clothes adorned with beads and other noisey items. They clinked together as she danced in a fluid motion around the makeshift stage. Upon first inspection, she was a basic Troll. Blue skin and large horns. What gained his attention, however, was a pair of large speckled wings upon her back. Only Ve had wings upon their back; harpies had theirs connected to their arms. Ve had been known to take the form of other species in order to blend in, but they usually kept their wings showing out of pride. This woman must've been the Ve that the Dyrad had told him about. She caught his eye and smirked. He continued to watch until she finished her hypnotic dance. She smiled to the crowd, flashing her sharp teeth, and walked around collecting coins from her fans.

She turned back to Kivet and smoothly walked over to him.

"Ve." She spoke gently, like a relived mother. "I haven't seen a living Ve in quite some time."

"I've encountered many fallen as well." He wasn't sure why she was speaking aloud but assumed it was simply habit and did the same.

"You're too late."

He froze, "too late for what?"

"The Duke. You're here to kill him, correct?"

She noticed his shocked expression and let out a small laugh. "Why else would a Ve be here?"

She had a point, "so he ran?"

"Oh no, I got him. Nobility aren't that great at fighting. Only took about an hour to break in and off him."

He was impressed, beautiful and strong; everything a Ve could want in a woman. Was he swooning? He felt like he was swooning. The Troll features weren't ideal, but they likely helped her to earn more money among the locals. The light blue etchings around her skin formed what he knew to be called tears as well as a crown. The crown marking was something that only Troll nobility had and he was even more impressed that she was able to replicate the three half circles. Down her arms were swirls of markings he didn't know the name of, and even her stomach was littered in swipes. It was like a master painter, proud of her work.

"You're staring at me."

He hadn't realized that he was making her uncomfortable."nice uh," he gestured vaguely at her, "art."

She laughed, a dark hearty sound, "are you calling me art?" After a minute she took pity on his stuttering. "You know, I had a lot of fun taking on that duke. How about a friendly competition? We both take on another target and whoever kills them first wins?"

She actually LIKED killing?! Just what had he gotten himself into? "I dont normally go after targets. I mostly just get rid of random mutts I come across."

She wrinkled her nose in thought, "that could be fun. More of a challenge to find people...and won't know what to expect...very well!" Her teeth glistened dangerously as you made her decision, "I accept those terms."

It didn't take long for the girl, Kivet realized he still didn't know her name, to find a target. She walked along, seductively, putting slightly more than neccessary emphasis on the movement of her hips as she walked with her shoulders back as to draw more attention to her chest. A chest that Kivet embarrassingly realized could be seen through the thin fabric. The victim was an intoxicated human that had come to flirt with her. Kivet watched in shock as she rubbed against him in a sinful manner, letting out small moans when he grabbed her back. While he was distracted with her breasts, she brought a hand to his neck and jammed what appeared to be a letter opener into the flesh there before quickly pulling it back out.

"You bitch!" She yelped, suprised to see that she didn't succeed. Didn't she know that neck injuries had to be precise? Humans have been known to live upwards of 20 minutes after a wound like that. And, while force was applied, the blade was too dull to do any real damage so long as the human managed to stop the bleeding. The human swung at her and she quickly turned to smoke to avoid the blow. Both parties appeared very confused by the ability and Kivet cursed the academy she had went to for not teaching her about such a basic skill.

Kivet ran forward to grab the human's shoulder and recieved an elbow to the nose as punishment. The distraction gave her an opportunity to slam her head into their's, knocking them out and to the ground. All in all a messy situation that gained a lot of attention. Kivet sidestepped the unconcious man and laced the fingers of one hand with those of the stumbling and stunned woman, using his other hand to try and cull the blood from his own nose.

Nobody in the crowd stepped forward but Kivet caught a shouted "fucking whore" and made a mental note to come back for the man later.

Once they were out of ear and eyeshot, Kivet snapped, the area around him turning shadowy as the grass under his feet quickly turned brown. "What did you think you were doing?!"

She flinched and yanked her hand back, "I read it in a book..."

"Back. Of. The. Neck! At the base of the skull. And not with something so dull. And intoxicated people are the WORST targets. They have some kind of immunity to most physical attacks. You should've learned that in Academy!" He softens seeing how she was refusing to meet his eyes. She mumbled something. "Out with it then."

"I said I never went to Academy..."

"But it's the law! Everyone has to go! Your parents should've signed you up at 15."

"They died when I was a baby. I was raised by humans. Until a few years ago that is, then it was a Golem." It was against the law to interact with a Ve unless absolutely necessary. Still, she was alive because of them. "No other family either," she continued, "other than siblings."

"If you didn't receive the proper training then why are you fighting? You could get hurt."

She huffed, trying to save face by acting annoyed. "That Golem owned me for years. I want to fight. To feel strong for once."

"Owned?" Rage started to bubble up. Humans were fucked up creatures but surely they wouldn't sell someone they were tasked with raising.

"I don't want to talk about it. Let's just focus on our next target."

"I...never got your name." It was stupid of him to not ask earlier.

She seemed suprised as if she had only just realized it herself. "Is..Isaac."

It sounded off to Kivet but perhaps it was simply a human name. "Kivet of the  Broknsawv clan. What is your clan, Isaac?"

"I uh..I don't know." She didn't even know her clan?! This poor woman.

"That's alright. We can figure it out together."

"Wait!" She seemed excited, "I'm coming with you? Even after I fucked up!?"

"Of course. What kind of jerk would I be to leave you here? Besides, you still have to show me how you took down that noble and his guards."

[migleefulmoments]

Le Sign, Abby

Anonymous asked: this is funny, C posted a photo of beard, D posted photos with the beard. Almost like they were sitting next to each other and saying “ok ok I will say this” (and it isn’t like EVERY Halloween Darren and Chris post their costumes for their fans)

 ajw720 answered:

The only difference, C controls his SM and the bearding, D does not, (that isn’t true but I know you need to believe it or your world comes tumbling down). but they knew the Halloween post was coming when C posted his belated b-day wishes (not that he acknowledged they were late).  

It really is, if you can remove the very human, tragic element, like a script for a really bad D Movie.  C posts “Happy Birthday, Babe!” a day after the man’s actual b-day and “D” praises his fake bride for MAKING TEN costumes (let me stop you right there, Darren was actually APPRECIATING Mia for putting together 10 costumes while he was too busy to help. He was praising her for thinking of and executing 10 costumes. He was honoring her for being as into Halloween as he is and playing along. He was praising her because he loves her. If he wanted to praise her for shopping he would have use the word shopping. Your reductive shopping tirades- which you turned it into a full day of nonsense intended to bully Mia- misses the point of his Tweet entirely. At the end of the day, he appreciates her. If your lover appreciates you AND is sensitive enough to care about your feelings they should write something about you on social media..if they aren’t, then it sucks to be you but shut up because the shopping straw man silly makes you look petty, obtuse, unappreciated, mean girls who are so jealous you can’t see straight.  Yes, a lot of their costumes this year were mass-produced and purchased this year-so what? Who cares? Is the bar of Halloween costumes that they are all couture? In the past they have used costume designers- they never made their own costumes entirely from scratch themselves. But that doesn’t mean that coordinating 10 costumes isn’t time consuming and clearly Darren didn’t care -he appreciated her.) Sure praise her if she actually designed them and sat with her sewing machine  No, she went online and ordered things (I doubt she even went to a store) (Why would that matter? You really have no idea what she did do you? You’re just grasping because you're so pissed that Darren mentioned Mia and now you are stuck erasing that history...AGAIN. Darren is always doing things with- and saying things about- his wife that prove time and time again that they are a couple and he loves her...it infuriates you because you have to erase it or "debunk” it. ) and 3 couple costumes were cheap frankly (Again, why would that matter but also at $50+ per costume, I wouldn't call that “cheap”?).  The only thought was how narcissistic she could be (What did she do? I didn’t see her social media...what did she say? Oh, right, you didn’t see her social media.  You're just pissed that Darren mentioned one nice word about her. Your the one who blew it up into Armageddon and gave her so much attention) in their execution (as @flowersintheattic254 pointed out even the Mario costume had  a reason, it was a reminder of Japan and the fake encagement by referring to the ad that paid for their trip there) (Huh? You're insane.  That’s suuuucccchhhhhh a stretch- but then you cannot stop thinking about that trip. I just don’t understand who the person you believe ccDarren is.  Is he such a coward that he lets Mia walk all over him and hurt him over and over? Why would he agree to be a dog hurt by CDV or make fun of the place they g to engaged if ccMia was ruining his life? Nobody is that much of a wuss ass twit.  The rest of us on planet sanity know that a the real reason they wore that costume was because Mario wins when he rescues Peach).

And seriously how are people not questioning that she spent the entirety of her month picking TEN costumes? (Because it isn’t our place to question that. I don’t get your beef? Is it because she isn’t stuck working 9-5 in a cubicle like you are? Is it because she both a successful business and a wealthy spouse so she has more freedom than you do?)  Who has time for this?  I know, i know, a person whose only role in life is to play fake plus one.(You come off as so jealous every time you bring this up-and god how many times can you bring it up? How other people live shouldn’t concern you. It just spins up your anxiety and you have no control over it. Couples make decisions about their roles and their work schedules and nobody else gets a say and nothing is “normal” or “abnormal”.) 

I am just so tired by D in particular being utterly dragged down by the useless dead weight by his side and his team’s sole ambition to promote her and make her sound like a decent person. (Here’s the harsh reality Abby- Darren posted his Halloween costumes and gave Mia a simple mentioned and you have written or reposted 23 posts about it just today. It has consumed your blog and your life. The ONLY person pushing and promoting Mia is YOU and your ilk. Mia is a decent person with lots and lots of friends-but even if she was the world’s worst person-even if she sat all day stalking and cyber-bulling strangers - you still have no say in who Darren marries and loves. That you don’t like her- or that you 

If they wanted to praise her, maybe they should have forced her to participate in the zero waste initiative instead of sitting drinking by the pool or have her volunteer to help young girls who have been kicked out of their homes, or have been raped.  (This entire paragraph is rich-talk about moving the goalposts- if he had put her in the video-which wasn't under his control since it wasn’t his project, he was just the host- you would have lost your shit over her being in the video raging about her lack of worth  she isn’t famous, she’s a slut, blah blah blah...like please please have enough self respect to recognize that you would have been livid if she was in the project). Or pick any cause and truly volunteer her time to promote it (you have NO idea what she does with her time or money because she doesn’t post it on social media. If she did, you would be raging that she was looking for attention- so please stop. What do YOU do to help the world?).  If she is not going to actually get a job and pursue a career (SHE OWNS A BUSINESS!!!!! Just like your boss... and you know she does. Your refusal to accept that is an ad hominom logical fallacy) please force her to do something that is actually of value and contribute something good to the world. But to praise her for picking TEN costumes? (Le sigh.)   

Praise that comes from a man who this year alone won three awards, is starring in a show he created and wrote the music for, has his first big movie premiere this week, is exec producer and star of a huge show on N/etflix, just announced his starring role with 2 A++ lists actors next spring on Broadway, celebrated the 5th anniversary of the festival he created, volunteered his time for the zero waste initiative, performed at several charity events, and was just yesterday name limited series actor of the decade.  Where is the praise for him from his “bride”? (Abby, come on, just because she doesn’t have public sm doesn’t mean she isn’t praising him in real life -or on her private sm-in fact, she has praised him on her social media that has been reblogged and you bitch about that. She was bragging about him speaking Tagalog at a dinner and your bitched and moaned that she didn’t know the language his mom speaks-forgive me for not believing you know more��than she does). He at least deserves it. (Why does he deserve it? Because he’s famous and he’s a good actor? People are more than the value of their celebrity. You sure buy into the celebrity-obsessed culture don’t you? Pathetic. A husband thanking his wife for doing something for him is not something you can argue about-It is what it is. You have no say. There is no argument, no straw man, no gaslighting, and no erasing it). 

(here is where it gets intense)

How do they not see how ridiculous it is for someone with D’s accomplishments in 2019 alone praise a person for purchasing TEN costumes for Halloween? (SMH because one has nothing to do with other. Comparing them is another logical fallacy-your entire post is full of them. It’s like saying that if I am honored for my work saving kids’ lives, you can’t be honored for your work because your work in corporate immigration isn’t as important as mine is). And stans, how do you accept that this is right or normal. (I just don’t get why you continue to ask us WHY and then outright refuse to learn from what we say.  A life without learning is a wasted a life, Abby. To answer your question-because there is no “right" or “normal” when it comes to a stranger’s life. Darren’s life is Darren’s life and he can marry a Rhode’s Scholar or high school drop out with a low IQ. He can marry someone who never wanted to work or someone who wants to own the world. He can marry a humanitarian or Kim Kardashian.  It’s his choice..not yours...you have no say whatsoever.)  You really know nothing about him and have such little respect for him as a person if you continue to accept the character his idiotic team has created on his behalf.  It is so far from the person he is and that he generally holds himself out to be when given the opportunity. (oooh someone has been reading my blooogggggg. No, Abby, YOU have no clue who Darren is.  When I read Darren’s words or hear him in an interview, I take in what he says and I simply add that info into my internal “who is Darren” file. This is how we learn about the personality of anyone and everyone we know. We hear what they say about themselves and we take in how they act and what they care about, what they don’t care about, what they think is important, and what they do with their life at work and outside of work and we form a persona in our minds. You, on the other hand, have decided Darren is a very specific persona that you only see on rare occasions and looks far more like Blaine than he does like the real Darren.  So instead of listening and learning, you immediately set about to rewrite his words, change the meaning, and debase their value and intent because you have already formulated your version of Darren and it’s static. You won’t accept anything he does or says as “real” if it doesn’t meet that fantasy Darren. But this isn’t how it works in real life. We don’t label someone and then expect them to fit that model at all times or we get angry and scream “this isn’t normal”.  Everyone we know is growing and learning and changing al the time and we simply take in that information and store it away as part of their personality. You spend so much time being so angry about Darren’s life  because you haven’t actually seen much of your ccDarren since Glee ended. And you know that at some level because you just said “It is so far from the person he is and that he generally holds himself out to be when given the opportunity” That is the key here- the Darren you love is never around because that Darren ceased to exist when Blaine went away. The Real Darren is the one you see every single day- he’s a multifaceted guy-just like all of us- who can be prim and proper when he wants to but can be bawdy and crude and sexual. They are all Darren Criss). 

This isn’t about being a “gay fetishist” or “hating woman” this is about wanting for D to be fairly and accurately represented and no longer forced to participate in this stupid, life sucking game to promote a person that contributes absolutely nothing to the world.  (No, you're right, this isn’t about being a gay fetishist or misogynist- you are those as well- but this right here is about you not liking the person Darren Criss is in real life and demanding he adopt the persona of a character you fell in love with on Glee.    Darren was never Blaine. Yes, he can act like Blaine in an occasional Tweet or during an interview- usually on the red carpet when he doesn’t know the interviewer. But that doesn’t mean he is that person.  Think about it, you have never once seen the Darren you believe he is outside of Glee events, interviews, your favorite 3 Tweets (the Met Gala coat, the granddaughter of his Midway character and Bradley Cooper)  and the conversations you imagine he has with his family and Chris. It isn't reasonable to believe that the Darren you see every single day isn’t the real Darren. People are who they are, they aren’t who we want them to be- that goes for your favorite celebs, your parents, your best friends, your lovers, your coworkers and even your children (which is a very hard lesson for some parents). You’re suggesting that he is acting like someone else because you don’t like what you see. That isn’t  healthy, period. As for promoting a person who contributes nothing to this world- judging someone based entirely on other people’s social media mentions of her is frankly fucked up. It’s another logical fallacy to believe you know what Mia does for the world. She owns an entertainment venue and Darren is an entertainer. Just because Darren has more fame than she does, doesn’t make him more valuable. It’s really pathetic and sad that you see the world that way.)  If you want to have a strong female role model, there are so many, i’ve talked about a few in the past few days (thus far Nancy, Lea, and Phoebe)  and will continue to do so, but please stop worshiping a person whose sole reason you are speaking about her is her connection to D, even if you refuse to accept it is fake.  (Abby, Darren loves Mia. He married her, IDK what it takes for you to understand that you have no say in his life and bitching and moaning and demonizing Mia says nothing about Mia, but it does say everything about you. You're petty, cruel, a bully, and you are losing sight of reality- please get some help. As for role models- I had to ask because I couldn't’ imagine that Lea was Lea Michele-it’s funny how your opinion of her changed after you saw more of the real Lea on LM/DC tour. Maybe you should learn from that.  Nancy Pelosi-I mean yes but are you suggesting Darren marry Nancy? And Phoebe? Phoebe who? I don’t understand this argument at all. First of all it false presumes that everyone looks to Mia as a role model. None of us know her. The only people obsessing about others looking to Mia as a role model are you and the tinhats. I’m 50 years old, the only younger people I look to as role models are people who are doing something to change the world we are living in -fighting corruption, hate, and climate change. I don’t look to Lea, Darren or Mia as role models .  I enjoy them as entertainers and I think Mia is kick ass but it ends there.   We can all look to Nancy as a role model, but what the hell doe she have to do with Darren and Mia? My celebrity crush on Darren has nothing to do with looking for strong female role models nor does it have anything to do with who he is married to). 

[imaginejamesandsirius]

Hey, I was wondering if you would consider writing a story where James is a muggle but he has a family member living with his who is I wizard/witch so he knows about magic. He meets Sirius who tries to hide the whole magic thing but still manages to mess up sometimes. Things escalate to where something happens and everything comes out. Whether James knows about Sirius being a wizard or just about magic in general would be interesting to see.

((Vaguely nsfw directly after the cut, but nothing after the next break))

Sirius was just getting water, and then he saw the most exquisite being in the world and stopped cold. He was fit as all hell, an old shirt setting loose on his frame and highlighting his muscles. He had messy hair that might have been natural but also might have been because he'd just gotten thoroughly shagged-- and somehow that didn’t turn Sirius off in the slightest, it only made him want to be the reason for it the next time.

He didn't realise that he was staring until the man spoke up. "Something on my face mate?"

Sirius blinked, then flushed as he realized that he'd been caught. He cleared his throat and averted his eyes like that could undo the past... however long he'd been looking. "Nothing that doesn't belong there."

His brow furrowed like he couldn't tell if that was an insult or not, and Sirius wanted to slap himself. He was a flirt, he should be able to say one charming thing. "Er. Okay. My name's James by the way. In case that's, y'know, something you're into."

Sirius choked on his next breath, turning red from lack of oxygen and also his inability to comprehend that.

"You one of Lily's friends?"

"Er, yeah. Sirius."

James frowned again. "Yeah, of course I'm being serious."

"No I- I'm Sirius. My name. Like the," he pointed up as if at the sky, "star. In Canis Major."

His face smoothed out, and he let out a little laugh. "Oh. Sorry about that. Nice to meet you Sirius."

"Nice to meet you too. So er, how do you know Lily?" Definitely not from Hogwarts; Sirius would remember a bloke like this hanging around.

"Cousin. And you?"

"From school." She had family here? This was mostly a 'we survived being adults for a year' party, and Sirius had thought-- until this moment-- that they were the only ones here, and that the reason they weren't using magic was because of the muggle neighbourhood and not, y'know, muggle guests. "You er," Sirius licked his lips and glanced behind him, "here with anyone?"

"Well considering that Lils is the only one I know, I can't say I am. Why?" he asked, clearly knowing the answer but wanting to tease Sirius all the same.

"Gods Jamie, you really gonna make me say it?"

"Well if you're already comfortable enough to call me 'Jamie', you should be able to tell me what you wanna do to me."

Sirius choked on his tongue. "You don't waste any time do you?"

"Why bother?" James said with a shrug and a cocky smirk. "It would leave less time for more..." he paused, looking Sirius over appreciatively, "enjoyable venues."

~~~

Sirius was shoved against the wall, and he moaned loudly as James licked and bit at his neck, rubbing his erection against the line of Sirius's hip. He whimpered when James worried at a sensitive spot just under his ear, going at it hard enough that he would definitely have to heal it in the morning or risk everyone seeing it.

He usually hated that, but right now it was the hottest shit he'd ever experienced, and he arched into it, holding James closer as he rolled his hips.

James clearly knew what he was doing, testing Sirius for what he liked and, when he found a spot, showered it with love before moving on to the next spot. It ended up with Sirius shirtless, his trousers undone and his pants pushed strangely on his hips where James's hands had pushed and rubbed against him while James was still fully clothed.

"My- my room's oh Merlin--"

He could feel James grin against his skin, and he did something with his hand so that it felt like he was massaging Sirius's cock.

"James," he whined, voice embarrassingly high in his throat.

"Yeah Si?" James sounded breathless, and that was a bloody rush to his ego because he'd barely done anything; he'd mostly just let James touch him however he wanted.

"Want a bed?"

"Beds are overrated," he growled, thrusting his hips in a way that left no doubt in Sirius's mind as to where he'd rather shag him (ie, against the wall).

"Maybe," Sirius agreed with a gasp. "But I don't have-" he tried to think of what the muggle protection was called, but he couldn't think of the word and settled on "-stuff in my pockets."

"Oh sweetheart I think everyone knows that your pockets are empty." James ran his hands over Sirius's arse-- and his skin-tight trousers-- appreciatively, letting go after giving it a squeeze. "C'mon where's your room, love?"

~~~

Sirius had woken up the next day with James still in his bed, a delightful ache in his arse, and a head-full of great memories of the previous night. He wanted that for the foreseeable future, so he didn't think twice about telling James that they should go on a date. He'd agreed, they exchanged numbers-- which Sirius fortunately had as Lily absolutely refused to owl people from her muggle flat-- and Sirius didn't truly realise that magic would be an obstacle until much later in the day.

Well, how hard could it be? He'd slipped up and said 'Merlin' last night, and James hadn't said a word about it, so it would probably be the easiest thing in the world. If he got James out of the deal? Yeah, there was no question.

~~~

Sirius liked to think that he did pretty well hiding magic from James. He slipped up a few times, asking for a quill instead of a pen, trying and failing to explain why he had fur on his couch when he had no dog, the occasional charm for cleaning and cooking that he didn't think twice about casting even in James’s presence, that sort of thing.

James accepted each and every excuse with a confused little smile, but he never questioned Sirius about it further. He was so trusting, and Sirius almost felt guilty for taking advantage of that, but it's not like he was going to hurt him, right? This was the law they were talking about, and unlike the animagus thing, this felt more serious.

Besides, he didn't even know if James was serious about him, and if James wasn't in this for the long haul, then they didn't need to bother with the magic reveal.

~~~

"Er..." James was staring at Padfoot with wide, slightly alarmed eyes. "Hey there." He was making an obvious effort to remain calm, keeping his posture and tone unaffected in the hopes that it would keep the gigantic dog in Sirius's flat calm. Sirius always insisted that he didn't have a dog, so James really didn't know what to make of this, but his mind was whirring, trying to find an answer.

For Sirius's part, he froze when James spoke. He turned slowly, and he hadn't meant for it to look menacing, but apparently it was easy to confuse mild panic with aggression because James looked even more worried.

"Okay I'm going to really hope that you're mates with Sirius and not actually a sodding bear dog that's about to murder me. I swear, that guy never tells me anything," he said, giving a nervous chuckle. "What I mean to say is that if you're- er, y'know, magic or whatever, now would be a good time to change or leave or summat."

Sirius cocked his head, heart pounding. Did James just say magic? Was he being serious or was he joking? Sirius honestly had no idea, and while that terrified him, it didn't feel like something he would be able to get out of. So, he padded to his bedroom, feeling James's eyes on him, and stepped just inside the door to change so that he was out of sight.

Chewing on his lip, Sirius stuck his head out the door. Instead of panicking like he'd been terrified that James would, he looked relieved.

"Oh thank god," James said, walking towards him and body slumping with relief. "Just so I know, is that always you?" He gestured back towards the living room where they'd had their awkward run-in moments ago. "Or will it be someone else the next time I accidentally walk in? And while I'm at it, Sirius, why don't you ever lock your door? I know you can defend yourself or whatever, but I don't want you to wind up dead in case you don't have your wand on you or summat."

There were a million things Sirius wanted to ask and say to him, but all he managed was a stuttered, "You... you know?" He'd been careful to not let him see too much, and he knew everything? Well, he amended, not everything, as he seemed to think that anyone could be an animagus and that its form could be taken by anyone that felt like it.

James frowned. "Er, yeah? I mean, I didn't see you actually change just now, but it's... pretty obvious what just happened. Especially since you kept telling me that you didn't have a dog," he said, wrinkling his nose. "If you didn't want me to know, you should have come up with a better lie ahead of time."

"No I mean- about magic? You know?"

James blinked. "Yeah. Lily was pretty loose with the truth when she was younger." Pretty much as soon as Petunia had decided to be a bitch about it because she wanted someone to confide in and her go to person had just decided that she hated her, Lily had reached out for someone new. "I thought you knew that I knew?"

Dumbly, Sirius shook his head.

"Oh. Well that explains a few things."

"You're not mad?"

"Why would I be?"

"I never told you," Sirius said uncomfortably.

"Lily did mention a few years ago that it was illegal, so I learned to keep my mouth shut about it."

"And you're okay with it?"

"Well yeah."

"Oh Merlin." Sirius pulled James into a desperate hug. "I was so worried you'd leave when you found out."

"Er, nope." Clearly not expecting Sirius to react like this, James pat him on the back awkwardly. “I’ve got a magical boyfriend, and it’s fine.”

[im-whatchamccallit]

Wicked pt.2//Xu Minghao (Seventeen)

Part 1|Materlist|Request Guidlines

Pairing: Xu Minghao x Reader

Genre: Demon!Au, Fluff)

Warnings: Long and probably grammatically incorrect

Words: 3.3k, holy shit

(A/N: This was super long as, while I was editing, I realized I had over 100 followers so thank you so much! I know people do follower milestone type things but idk what to do so... request are open? Idk. I’m just happy. Thank you!)

You moaned slightly at the feeling of Minghao’s hands on your lower back, kneading at the muscles as you lied face down on your bed, beginning to feel sleepy as his thumbs grazed your skin. He slowly leaned down until his lips were right by your ear, the feeling of his cold breath causing you to turn your head slightly to see him.

“Is this good?” He asked lowly, the only thing you could do was nod slightly.

“Percentage wise, what would it be?”

“One hundred.” You muttered and Minghao shifted excitedly, knowing he was one step closer to finally being free.

“So that means you’re happy?”

“Mhm.”

“So, because you’re happy with this ‘one hundred percent’ massage, it means I’ve made you a hundred percent happy as a boyfriend?”

You tried to hide your chuckle as you let your eyes close, preparing for his soon to come tantrum from your words.

“Because you asked that, I’m only seventy percent happy now.” Minghao moved his hands up your back, telling himself to not flip you over and strangle you but, instead, pinching the back of your neck.

You screamed out and jumped up, glaring at him as he stared furiously at you.

“Now it’s sixty percent, asshole.”

“I’ve been here two weeks-“

“One week.” You corrected him, dragging yourself from your bed and towards your closet to find a new shirt, pulling out a button up shirt that you should save to wear to work but just needed to be covered at the moment.

“I know you’ve been happy this entire time, whether you want to admit it or not. Now you’re just fucking with me!” You turned to him as you finished buttoning the shirt, giving a smug look.

“I’m not fucking with you, Minghao. Just teaching you how to be a decent boyfriend for the next desperate soul that calls for you. By the way, snapping at me like that just dropped you down to forty.”

You let out a loud gasp as your back slammed against your bedroom wall, Minghao’s hand wrapped around your throat as he glared at you with a look that you could only assume was pure hatred. His hand just laid on your neck and, no matter how hard he tried to squeeze, he couldn’t leaving you both in a staring match, neither of you willing to back down.

“You have me where you want me, know what? You’re just not going to kill me? I dare you. I dare you to kill me right now.” You were at the same level as Minghao at this point. He drove you crazy the same way you did him.

The way he’d act out like a sociopath in public to annoy you, no longer following his plans of being the best boyfriend but the worst one possible, it all became so torturous. The past week was a constant battle of petty behavior and rage; rage that he wouldn’t get what he want and rage that you got what you wanted but now you wanted him gone.

He was shocked by your words and how they left your mouth so easily, not a hint of fear or doubt in them. But he only let out a growl before suddenly disappearing in thin air, leaving you against the wall and completely unfazed, learning that he came and left this way all the time, but you still held your anger.

“And that’s how you get to five percent, bitch.” You muttered before exiting the room, the negative energy suddenly suffocating you.

Minghao found himself in his apartment but, as soon as his feet touched the ground, his fist landed into the closest wall, causing the collection of males look to him in shock.

“Still no soul?” One asked condescendingly from the corner of the room where he sat on the ground to play with a small dog.

“I’m starving.” His voice was low as he marched his way to the sofa, placing his head in his hands as the eldest of the bunch sat by him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“You do realize you can just take other people’s souls, with or without being summoned.”

“No! I want (Y/N)’s! (Y/N) needs to die first then I’ll do what I want!” Minghao snapped as he glared at the man who was only trying to help before realizing he was in his human form, looking around to see the others just the same.

“Why do you look like this?”

“Chan finally figured out his disguise. We didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable.” The youngest member appeared from his room, no longer in his usual, monstrous form but now his disguise for when he chooses to visit the human realm.

Hell was just like living world, just a lot darker with supernatural beings. Everyone bought homes and apartments like humans, everyone drove like humans, and most of them had families and pets like humans. The only difference was that they were immortal, having lived centuries or millenniums, their purpose in life set once they are born, forcing them to work every day of their lives under those orders. And that’s exactly what Minghao and his 12 roommates have been doing, almost all of them demons with different purposes yet managed to get along just enough to live together.

Minghao blandly congratulated him before standing, making his way into the kitchen and finding his laptop on the breakfast bar, the three men not acknowledging him as he opened it and slowly waved his hand across, the background immediately turning to the image of your living room. Minghao knew you were happy but you just refused to admit it to him, so he was going to find out one way or another, even if it made him seem insane.  All of them glancing over as they heard talking before the voice peaked their interest all but one of them crowding around to see who he was spying on.

It was you and the goth girl who sold you the book. Her name was Sunny, which was more than ironic, and, despite you laying into her about giving you a book you couldn’t understand which caused you to summon a demon, you two became friends. You invited her over once and she revealed she was fluent in English, Korean, Afrikaans, French, Arabic, and, luckily, Latin, reading about a few other creatures for you to prove herself although you couldn’t truly confirm it but went with it. She was back so you can continue the journey of who not to mistakenly convene.

You both sat on your sofa, her legs folded beneath her as your feet found a home on your table, your eyes scanning the book before stopping at one page.

“This one is Minghao? He’s cute! How could you hate him?”

“Please. He’s a nuisance and the bane of my existence right now. And you said you’re positive there’s no way to get rid of him?”

“Sadly, no. You guys made a deal and, if this books description is right, and he’s persistent, he won’t go away until he has your soul. What was the deal anyways?” You made eye contact with her as a small smirk graced your lips.

“He had to pretend to be my boyfriend and make me one hundred percent happy before he could have my soul.”

“And you aren’t happy?” The boys seemed to watch closely for your answer, Minghao ready to scream with excitement. He finally got you.

“You know what? I am happy, Sunny. Happy to be single, happy to be able to have some time away from that asshole. All I needed was a stupid date for my friend’s wedding, I only added the ‘make me happy while you’re my boyfriend’ part so he couldn’t kill me. I was happy while I was single, now I’m just stuck with a demon that wants me dead as much as I want him gone.”

The confession seemed to shock everyone, all for different reasons. Minghao was a demon with many powers, one being to read emotions. He always thought your anger and sadness was because you were happy but didn’t want him to leave and, despite his hunger for your soul and hatred of having to work this hard to earn it, he liked being around you. Some times when he annoyed you, you’d laugh it off and it made him smile, something he’s never experienced with his other victims. Maybe you’d be happy if he left you alone, he could consume anyone else’s soul anyways, he just didn’t want to leave you.

Sunny, on the other hand, mumbled ‘no’ repeatedly as she flipped through the pages furiously, finding one with a folded edge before turning it to you, practically shoving it into your face.

“These were the ones you were supposed to summon, I probably miscounted the pages.” Your eyes widened at the sight of three gorgeous men. They had strange looks in their eyes, despite the pictures on being drawings but it was so captivating, you just stared as she slowly moved away.

“Who are they?”

“Their names are Seungcheol, Junhui, and Soonyoung. They’re the demons of lust. They could have escorted you to the wedding but-“ Sunny froze as her face grew warm from the words written, making you lean forward in anticipation.

“What?”

“In return for your favor, you’d have to become their concubine for the rest of your life.”

“You tried to pimp me out?” Sunny already braced herself for your outburst, only flinching slightly at your raised voice.

“It’s not that bad! They’re cute and it’s sex for the rest of your life. What’s so bad about that?” You grabbed a nearby pillow and hit her, unbeknownst to you that Soonyoung smirked with a small shrug.

“She’s not wrong.” No one responded as they watched you finally back off from the poor girl, who held the book tightly in spite of your attack, watching as you fell back into your space next to her, holding the pillow close to you.

“Let’s just talk about the ones I need to look out for.” You watched as she flipped the pages, looking between three in particular.

“These three, Jeonghan, Wonwoo, and Seungkwan, are pretty much the same. Jeonghan’s the demon of deception, Wonwoo’s the demon of tricks, and Seungkwan is the demon of irony. Basically you ask for something and they give you the exact opposite.” You examined their faces, all attractive which could obviously aid in their mischief, your only reaction was to nod.

“Okay. Who else?”

“Uhm…. There’s Seokmin, the demon of joy.” Your face wrenched in confusion as she held up a finger, knowing you already had questions as she skimmed through the page.

“He doesn’t need to be summoned. He usually shows up, makes you laugh but, once you start, you can’t stop and you eventually drop dead.” With wide eyes, you nodded and sat back, silent as she continued to flip through the pages. You sat straight up as she flipped to Jihoon’s page, a small laugh leaving your mouth as you gawked at his photo, her eyes taking in every word.

“He’s a demon? But he’s so cute. Look at his cheeks!”

“He’s technically a bounty hunter. You can ask him to kill someone for you but only if you have a pint of blood to offer and, since it’ll be hard to stop the bleeding yourself, you may end up bleeding out and dy-“ Sunny stopped when she noticed the horror on your face, no longer finding the adorable male innocent. You could almost feel him smirking knowing he struck fear into you, and he was.

“Anyways, I already know about Hansol and Mingyu. They aren’t summoned and kinda just walk around like regular people but they cause chaos unintentionally, basically like the butterfly effect. Say, if one sneezed, a tornado could happen. This one is named Chan, though, he is the demon of balance. He can basically start trouble or make good things happen.”

As she flipped the page, you held back a gasp. He was an angel, literally. His face was meant to be stoic yet you could find the corners of his lips turning upwards, making yours do the same as his eyes mesmerized you. Nothing that was written on the page seemed to matter to you, just from the way he was drawn, you felt as if he could do no wrong. Sunny was about to move on to the next page before you stopped her, placing your hand on the book to let her know you wanted to know more.

“What kind of demon is he?”

“Joshua? He’s more like a double agent for heaven and hell. He basically dwells in purgatory and judges you to see where you’ll end up. He’s good because purgatory is a place to cleanse the soul but pretty evil with the methods he uses. But it’s all probably bullcrap, especially if he hasn’t been seen on Earth.”

“Is there a way to summon him?” You asked shyly.

“Not unless you die. Wait,” Sunny stared at you, examing your face and grinning wildly as you tried to move away, wanting to hide your steaming hot face.

“I know that look. I’ve had that look before! You see one picture and you’re already in the L-word with him? Really?” You scoffed and rolled your eyes, shifting so that you were on the other end of your sofa.

“You’re the L-word, and it’s “lunatic.” But, I won’t lie, he is cute.” The simple words were enough to make you both giggle like teenagers at a slumber party, eventually rambling on about him, pulling out your phones to try and find more information about him.

But, by the time you found something, Minghao had already slammed his laptop closed, annoyed by the moment and just glad Joshua wasn’t there to hear it. It was already a slap to the face learning you purposefully sabotaged your deal not because of desperation but spite, it was even worse that you had a crush on someone that would waterboard you with holy water when he had the chance.

A few stray laughs caught his attention.

“Who would’ve thought you’d be jealous of Joshua?”

“A demon falling for a human. Doesn’t that just sound weird?” Minghao tried to ignore the comments before he felt an arm drape over his shoulders, his eyes darting over to see Junhui scowling at the group.

“Leave him alone. He’s probably just upsethe got tricked. Come on, let’s go figure out how to get you that soul.” The pair turned and made their way down the hall.

Once out of earshot, Junhui dragged Minghao into his room, shutting the door and quickly grabbing a box from beneath his bed. He set it onto a nearby desk, rummaging through it while the now

“Listen to me, you can end all of this tonight with this.” He held up a small, cylindrical glass bottle with a red liquid before approaching Minghao, opening his hands and placing it inside, his confused expression meeting Junhui’s serious one.

“It’s just a love potion. Just a small drop is enough to make anyone fall in love with you. When you hear the words, get the soul, and get out of there. If that doesn’t work, just play nice. It’ll take a while but it’ll all work out. Now, go.” Minghao only nodded, unable to fight the logic of a lust demon. Who’d know better than him?

Minghao found himself back in your apartment, his eyes landing on you as you sat on the sofa with take out on the table right next to two bottles of red wine, one empty and one halfway gone. He cleared his throat slightly to catch your attention, your hooded eyes leaving the television to inspect him before a large smile grew on your face.

“Mingming! You’re back!” You were obviously drunk.

He slowly made his way towards you, taking a seat only to have your head rest on his shoulder.

“Did you drink all of this yourself?”

“Yeah. I thought my friend would be here to drink with me but she works weekends so I had to drink alone. Here!” He flinched as you shoved the practically empty wine glass into his face before shyly waving you off.

You scoffed and grabbed the bottle from the table, refilling your glass until it reached the brim and taking a large swig from the bottle, secretly glad he didn’t take up your offer.

You were much different when you were drunk. Sober you was graceful, so in control and grounded, while drunk you was more affectionate and playful, a bit sloppy but had no guard up, no witty remarks or anger, just smiles and love to give. Minghao was starting to rethink his plans but he knew once you sobered up, you would go back to hating him, go back to dragging out your arrangement for the sake of his pain, even if it meant you’d be unhappy forever.

He looked at you as you rambled on about the movie playing, wholeheartedly expressing your love for the protagonist while he quickly opened the vessel, pouring it in before hiding the bottle in his pocket. You brought the glass up to your lips, downing the half full glass in only a few gulps before placing it on the table and turning to Minghao. He watched as your eyes widened, your face dipping closer to his as your hand moved up to graze his cheek. Now was a better time than anything to see if it worked.

“Do I make you happy?”

“Of course you do!” He was so close yet so far. All he needed was for you to say the exact words.

“Do I make you a hundred percent happy?” There was a slight pause before you moved back, your smile never falling as you looked away at the television, staring at the couple bonding over their dogs playing.

“I had a dog that made me happy. He ran away but came back, right after we got a new dog! They became best friends after that!” Maybe it needed time to kick in? There’s no way Junhui, a lust demon who only acted upon and initiated his passions when summoned by willing participants, could screw up a love potion he never had to use. Right?

So, Minghao stuck to his plan to wait for the potion to kick in. An hour passed, then two, both filled with you rambling on excitedly about life and your dreams, your head in his lap as you were slowly starting to fall asleep. The constant bickering between you two, the arguing and insults, all of it left his memory as he took mental pictures of you smiling tonight. Not the usual bitter smile you gave him when you acted maliciously but a genuine one, like the one you had at the start of your friend’s wedding and during the late night talks you had while trying to learn about one another. His backup plan would take days, maybe weeks, to execute and succeed but it seemed more enjoyable than this.

“Okay, let’s get you to bed.” Minghao slowly sat you up before helping you stand, your body light as you could barely stand on your own, falling into his chest.

You let him lead you out of the living room and down the hall to the large bedroom, everything left in the same condition as when he was there before. Your feet dragged along the floor as he brought you to your bed, setting you down with small huff before adjusting you so that your body was completely on the bed.

“Good night, (Y/N).”

“What? No. You can stay.” The invite was softly spoken as you were already falling into slumber, your eyes shut as you were shifting between consciousness and dreaming.

The offer was sweet but he knew it was just the alcohol talking, your attitude and mind would be back to normal by the morning anyways. Minghao just smiled and moved to pull the blanket above you.

“Good night.”

[run-from-peter]

You’ve Got Mail | Rental

From: Peter Nowak <p.nowak@theinstitute.com> Sent: September 13, 2018 5:07am To: Institute Faculty and Student List Subject: Not So Precious Anymore

Click to open attachment:  whore.mov

She was sleeping when Peter arrived home from his night out, tied to the bed where he’d left her for the night. She seemed so peaceful... time to ruin that.

He moved to his dresser where he pulled out his laptop, set up his camera and began recording. The whole room could be seen behind him, especially the bed and his sleeping slave. He addressed the camera.

“To whoever is lucky enough to see this, I haven’t exactly decided yet,” he spoke the last bit more to himself. 

“You’re about to witness the punishment of a traitor. See, most boys and girls from the DuBois line are very well behaved. They have respect for their... ‘elders’,” Peter added air quotes around the word elders. 

“They know their place. Because if they don’t they make enemies, very powerful ones.” He smirked into the camera, clearly talking about himself.

“So lets take a little taste of sweet... innocent...Layla... shall we?” He placed special pause on each word, playing with the syllables as they rolled off his tongue. 

He gave the camera one last wink before he was on the move towards the bed where Layla slept and crawled up her form very carefully. He didn’t want to wake her yet. His lips hovered over her skin as he crawled up, finally dipping down to place kisses to her neck. Those kisses grew sloppier as she began to stir. His hand slid up her thigh to her centre where he began to press and tease. She gave a soft sigh in return and he gave a winning smile.

She was finding consciousness as he played with her until she finally whispered a faint moan of someone else’s name, “Jason.”

“Not quite,” he spoke in a low tone by her ear. That woke her up fast. Layla’s eyes flew open and she tried to sit up, only to be tugged to a halt by her restraints.

“Peter,” she disappointedly sighed. This was, of course, not the first time he’d had her this week. However it was the first time she’d woken up to his lustful hands.

“That’s right, darling,” he spoke as though her disappointment wasn’t even registered. “Time to make me feel good,” he spoke. His hand grabbed the hem of her white lace dress and flipped it high onto her stomach when.... he saw it...

“What did you do,” he spoke in a dark voice. 

“I-I... I- I- I-....” the girl stammered.

“What! Did! You! DO!?” He roared over her stuttering fear.

The mark of a traitor. She bore the filthy mark of a traitor! He knew the mark was new. It had to been with the girl only the night before and was sure to leave fresh hickeys between her thighs. He would have noticed the horrid affront to their kind only just healing there. She must have created the veil mark that morning. 

She was a disappointment to be sure. Vessels were forbidden to act against the souls they host. But until that moment she was only a silly girl who needed to learn her place. Punishment would have been enough until another DuBois soul could possess her with her stupid charm destroyed but now... now she was far worse. She had made a choice that was unforgivable. She’d tainted her rare body and corrupted it for future possessions. Even Peter could not simply wipe away her idiotic mistake. Breaking her new sigil would take serious magic and so Layla, a perfectly lovely vessel, was ruined.

He suddenly reached out and struck her across the face.

“You fucking bitch! A traitors mark? Really?” He grabbed Layla by the hair and she gave a small yelp at his harsh grip. “You think this changes a god damn thing? You’re still mine. Fucking mine!” he pulled back again to smack her one more time before flicking his wrists which cut the ropes that tied her. 

Layla took the moment to jump up and run but Peter caught her by that long brown hair and pulled her back. 

“Not so fast you filthy sneaky cunt!” He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled the girl over his knee. She squirmed and protested as she could but she couldn’t fight a man like him. Peter pulled back and slapped her ass hard. He smacked a second time, and a third, watching her skin bloom shades of pink and red. By the seventh smack of his hand he was causing his own palm pain. 

“I didn’t give you permission to mutilate yourself,” he huffed between hits. Her squirming never ceased and finally she’d managed to wiggle off his knee and fell hard to the floor. Peter reached down to grab her but she smacked his hand away. There was a moment of stillness as they both registered what she’d done and then she began to scurry away in a panic. 

Peter was fuming now and stood, the items in his room shaking with his anger and a faint red smoke began emitting from his hands.

She scampered into that corner, curling into a ball and begging. “Please, please stop! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!”

Peter didn’t care what she begged. He was fuming. “You, need to learn!” 

On his last word he sent the contents of a nearby side table into the corner. A lamp shattered above her head as books pelted her skin at high speeds and a knife lodged itself into the wall beside her arm, slicing a little into her shoulder. 

“You stupid slut! You are nothing but a body for others to use. You belong to everyone but yourself! You’re nothing but a lowly bitch, a fucking vessel! Who do you think you are to refuse me!” 

More items from his dresser went flying. Books, pens and a glass display case which held a set of crystal skulls pelted her and the walls above her, leaving shards of glass and lavender crystal in her hair.

“You’re right, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” She began murmuring but Peter knew the girl was only saying what she thought would help her avoid pain.

“I don’t think sorry is going to be enough,” he admitted as he lowered his hands. Peter moved close as his initial anger began to simmer down. He crouched before her to be eye to eye. 

“You were worthless before but at least you had use. Now, you’re nothing but a traitor to your family and your bloodline. You’re worse than the dirt you’ll be buried in,” his voice was calm and dangerous.

Peter’s hand began moving, carving a letter T into her face. He’d have to heal it later so as not to upset the institute but the mark could remain for now. Besides, he was already formulating plans in his mind on how he might be able to convince the institute to let him kill the girl. Maybe he’d claim her....

“You know what I’m going to do Layla?” he asked when she made no sound but the small whimpers of discomfort from his carving. “I’m going to take you. I’m going to fuck you into oblivion.” He reached out suddenly and grabbed her chin, bringing out a gasp from the slave. “You can’t be possessed as a vessel so I’ll do the next best thing, possessing you as a slave.” He was going to own her body this week and no sigil could stop that.

But again, the stupid girl made a poor choice. She launched herself up and ran for the bedroom door. Peter sighed from annoyance. Did she really think she, a powerless vessel witch, could get away from an old and powerful witch like himself?

He reached out and spun the girl back to him, watching her body fall back to the floor as her legs were twirled around and her footing was lost.

He grabbed her by the hair and began dragging her back to his bedroom kicking and screaming. He only changed his grip to take a hold of her neck and lift her up. Nose to nose he made his promises.

“You are going to scream for the rest of the night. I’m going to fuck you so hard you won’t remember anyone else’s name, got it?” 

She didn’t answer correctly. She whimpered and begged for him to spare her but this girl was far past sparing. She had done too much.

Peter tossed her onto the bed and began seeing his promise through. He fucked her hard, holding her in place and using her like the whore she was. He pinned her down as he pistoned in and out of her and when that became tiering he tied her to the bed. All the while he threw degrading words at her, reminding her of the betrayal she’d chosen and the worthless whore she’d made herself. An ugly skank who deserved nothing but pain for the rest of her life. Her family would reject her, she would be shunned and beaten, she’d never be enough for her friends and her lovers, she’d always be an empty shell and there was no place for her in the world now.

This lasted for hours. Peter would cum and then play with her until he was ready to cum again. Where he’d fucked her slowly in previous nights, letting the moments last forever to fuck with her mind, now he was in it for quantity. He was making good on his promises of violence and pain. He didn’t care if his game was no longer subtle. She was a traitor and deserved his blatant abuse.

He thought that would be enough. He thought that as the sun began to lighten in the coming hours before sunrise that she would be broken but as he leaned back, panting from his last orgasm she had the audacity to slip out of her ropes and run.

She struggled to the door like a newborn deer on shaking legs but she still fought to run. Peter tilted his head in utter bewilderment before he sent a blast wave of sheer power towards her, too exhausted himself to create a sophisticated spell.

The effect was dramatic, breaking most of what was left in his suite. Mirrors shattered, books were torn into shredded pieces, dry wall was cracked and everything was thrown about the room, including the girl who finally fell to the floor unconscious. Even Peter received some damage in the form of cuts to his neck.

Silence prevailed and Peter stood in the wake of his mess. Who was this girl? Why had she not broken? He’s thrown all his anger and frustration into his acts tonight. He’d assaulted her, abused her and raped her. He’d degraded her, objectified her and tried his best to make her feel as small and insignificant as she was, undeserving of the life she’d stolen for herself and yet... 

...she still fought.

Peter looked around the room when something caught his eye, The lap top he’d set to record at the beginning of the night was still running and although it now found itself on the floor with a large splintering crack crossing the screen it was still recording. 

Well, if she girl would not break, perhaps he could break someone else.

Peter lifted the computer and replaced it on the dresser. He addressed the viewer again. 

“I wasn’t expecting her to last so long. Honestly, I thought she’d pass out by hour five but she’s a little spitfire, isn’t she? I guess that’s why some people like the little slut.” He smirked, knowing his aim and confident he could achieve it with a few choice words. He continued in a deep voice, looking straight into the camera.

“Well, she’s mine now. Even after this rental she’ll be mine. She’ll never forget what I did to her. She’ll picture it in the dark when she’s alone, she’ll remember it ever time a hand brushes against her skin. She’ll replay it over and over again until the day she dies,” which might be sooner than later.

“For the rest of her miserable life she’ll be mine. No one can separate us now,” he gave a loud laugh that seemed out of place after his quiet tone. “You all did all of this to save her from being possessed, to give her her own life but... none of it matters now because I’m going to haunt her every waking moment.”

He finished his laughing and fixed the camera with a cocky stare.

“Try saving her now,” he dared and hit the button to end his recording. 

He packaged the recording and opened his faculty email, finding the right name and selecting it... then his hand hovered. Would he dare? Of course he would. He selected the list which would sent the video to everyone. Absolutely everyone. If they attended the Institute they would receive this.

He didn’t think anymore on his choice and hit send, laughing at what he’d just done. How many people would he hurt now? His laughter continued longer than it should have in the early morning light.

[centerofstupidity]

Twilight Chapter 3 Snark

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Chapter Summary: Bella is saved by sparkledouche. And Tyler's van is the best character in this craptastic series.

In the event that this gets flagged, here is another place to read the chapter snark.

When I opened my eyes in the morning, something was different.

"My entire bedroom was covered with sticky notes."

I jumped up to look outside, and then groaned in horror.

Did Bella see demons emerging from the netherworld to rape and pillage? Nope.

Did Bella see an alien invasion? Nope.

Did Bella see Cthulu? Nope.

What did Bella see that is so horrifying? It is snow!

Bella complains that the driveway is a "deadly ice slick."

And since Bella is so clumsy, she thinks "it might be safer for me to go back to bed."

Charlie has left for work and Bella has some breakfast.

I felt excited to go to school, and that scared me.

"I can't lose my weirdo status! That would be terrible!"

I knew it wasn't the stimulating learning environment I was anticipating, or seeing my new set of friends.

Well, duh.

Bella doesn't have any friends and thinks she is smarter than everyone else.

If I was being honest with myself, I knew I was eager to get to school because I would see Edward Cullen. And that was very, very stupid.

Most people would be turned off by a guy who acts like a bipolar psycho. But Bella?

She thinks he is a hunk and wants to be near him.

I should be avoiding him entirely after my brainless and embarrassing babbling yesterday.

Bella being brainless? Let me think... Yes!

But she didn't babble to Edward. Bella whined about how her life sucks then got all prickly when Edward started asking her questions.

If I were her, I would be embarrassed that I bitched and moaned to a perfect stranger then acted rudely.

And I was suspicious of him; why should he lie about his eyes?

Did it ever occur to you that perhaps his eyes never changed color and you only imagined it?

I was still frightened of the hostility I sometimes felt emanating from him, and I was still tongue tied whenever I pictured his perfect face.

"A guy who acts like a douchebag gets me all hot and bothered."

Bella whines about her perilous journey to walk down the driveway and get inside her car.

Clearly, today was going to be nightmarish.

For the reader, each chapter is always a nightmare.

And on the way to school, Bella becomes a classic Sue trait: she is the most attractive woman in the universe but she is unaware of her beauty. And the Sue gets the attention of all the men and the envy of all the women.

I was sure I looked exactly the same as I had in Phoenix. Maybe it was just that the boys back home had watched me pass slowly through all the awkward phases of adolescence and still thought of me that way.

Because of course Bella has met all the guys in Phoenix and they ALL viewed her as a gawky teenager. 

Wait a tick... She is STILL a gawky teenager.

And no, guys do not forever think of a girl as an ugly duckling. 

The very moment said duckling becomes slightly attractive, guys will forget any past blemishes.

It's likely that the guys in Phoenix had more girls to choose from and ignored the antisocial surly weirdo.

Perhaps it was because I was a novelty here, where novelties were few and far between.

Because Forks is so dull that they would view Bella as a positive addition to their town.

Possibly my crippling clumsiness was seen as endearing rather than pathetic, casting me as a damsel in distress.

Riiight. Because guys would think a weirdo who trips over air molecules to be adorable.

Bella, you ARE a damsel in distress.

Whatever the reason, Mike's puppy dog behavior and Eric's apparent rivalry with him were disconcerting. I wasn't sure if I didn't prefer being ignored.

"It's so awful having icky guys fighting over me! If I can't be Edward's wife, then I want to be ignored!"

And Mike having "puppy dog behavior"?

Bella has no problem with driving her truck and drives slowly so she doesn't "carve a path of destruction."

She arrives at school and realizes that Charlie put snow chains on her truck.

If I was Charlie, I would have cut Bella's brake lines. Bella is standing by the back of the truck when she hears a loud and high-pitched screech.

It's Tyler's Van and it is on a mission from God.

Nothing was moving in slow motion, the way it does in the movies.

Ya know, I think that comment sounded wittier in Stephenie Meyer's head than it does on paper.

Instead, the adrenaline rush seemed to make my brain work much faster, and I was able to absorb in clear detail several things at once.

For someone who is supposed to be the smartest person in the world, Bella is just standing there while a van is careening towards her.

Edward is staring at Bella "in horror."

His face stood out from a sea of faces, all frozen in the same mask of shock.

Edward Cullen is the only person that matters! Everybody else is filthy peasants.

But of more immediate importance was the dark blue van that was skidding, tires locked and squealing against the brakes, spinning wildly across the ice of the parking lot.

Why is Bella still alive? The van should have crushed her by now.

It is almost as if Satan is trying to prevent the death of a Mary Sue...

Well, that explains a lot...

It was going to hit the back corner of my truck, and I was standing between them. I didn't even have time to close my eyes.

Before Bella Swan can be vanquished, someone saves her. I'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count.

My head cracked against the icy blacktop, and I felt something solid and cold pinning me to the ground.

Don't worry having any brain damage, Bella. 

You need to have a brain before it can be injured.

"Take me like a kleptomaniac, you perfect and sparkling Adonis!"  

Bella is lying on the pavement. The van is determined to vanquish Bella  and is about "to collide with me again."

A low oath made me aware that someone was with me, and the voice was impossible not to recognize.

Who is making an oath?

Is she talking about someone swearing? The horror!

So Sparkledouche protects Bella (boo hiss!) and kills Tyler's van.

Rest in peace, Tyler's van. You are going to see the Spirit in the Sky.

It was absolutely silent for one long second before the screaming began. In the abrupt bedlam, I could hear more than one person shouting my name.

Nobody gives a damn about the driver. Tyler isn't the Sue so he doesn't matter.

Instead, everyone is fretting about Bella Swan, Emo Bitch Extraordinaire and the Queen of Phoenix.

Of course, Edward is worried about Bella who bumped her head.

Bella says "ow."  

"That's what I thought." His voice, amazingly, sounded like he was suppressing laughter.

Bella wonders how Edward got over to her so quickly and he tells her that "I was standing right next to you, Bella."

And then they found us, a crowd of people with tears streaming down their faces, shouting at each other, shouting at us.

It is only logical that everyone cares about a sullen and psycho bitch.

Everyone is panicking and Bella tries to get up. Like a perfect gentleman, Edward pushes her down.

He also orders her to "stay put." Charming.

Bella whines about it being cold. Edward laughs but he is not happy.

She insists that Edward was standing next to his car. Edward then says that he "wasn't".

The adults finally show up.

But I obstinately held on to our argument; I was right, and he was going to admit it.

"I'm the Author Sue! So that means that I'm always right!"

Edward tells Bella that he was standing with her and pulled her out of the way. 

Bella gets pissed off and tells him "no." Edward pleads with her and Bella demands "why?"

Edward tells her to "trust me" and promises to explain everything to her later.

They are both pissed off at each other.

It takes six EMTs and two teachers to move the van so they can bring the stretchers in.

Edward vehemently refused his, and I tried to do the same, but the traitor told them I'd hit my head and probably had a concussion.

How is Edward a "traitor"?  

He promised Bella that he would explain everything.

But he didn't promise that Bella won't be going to the hospital. 

I almost died of humiliation when they put on the neck brace.

"OMG! It's like so embarrassing to like almost die and have all the common sheep staring at me!"

It looked like the entire school was there, watching soberly as they loaded me in the back of the ambulance. Edward got to ride in the front. It was maddening.

Bella wants to be the center of attention...

But once people notice her, she bitches and moans because "OMG! The peasants are gawking at me!"

You can't have it both ways, bitch.

And in real life, no one would give a damn about a sullen and bitchy weirdo.

To make matters worse, Chief Swan arrived before they could get me safely away.

It's odd that Bella is informal with a guy who has "stalker" written all over him than her own FATHER. 

She calls him "Chief Swan". 

Charlie is concerned and this annoys Bella. She tunes him out and thinks about what happened.

When they'd lifted me away from the car, I had seen the deep dent in the tan car's bumper — a very distinct dent that fit the contours of Edward's shoulders… as if he had braced himself against the car with enough force to damage the metal frame…

Stephenie Meyer doesn't know that metal in a car crash does not neatly bend into the shape of whatever it hits. 

It usually dents inwards. 

So Bella should be seeing only a dent.

She shouldn't be able to tell that Sparkle Douche jammed his shoulder against the car. 

And then there was his family, looking on from the distance, with expressions that ranged from disapproval to fury but held no hint of concern for their brother's safety.

Because they despise a Mary Sue.

I tried to think of a logical solution that could explain what I had just seen — a solution that excluded the assumption that I was insane.

AndI love the idea that the entire series is told from the perspective of a horny mental patient.

Naturally, the ambulance got a police escort to the county hospital.

Because Bella is so awesome, she can't say that her dad followed the ambulance.

Instead, she makes it sound like the entire police department escorted her to the hospital.

Bella whines about being in the ambulance.

What made it worse was that Edward simply glided through the hospital doors under his own power.

"It's so unfair. The filthy peasants are paying ATTENTION to me! It's like so EMBARRASSING!"

Bella is in the emergency room. A nurse puts on a "pressure cuff" and takes her temperature before walking away.

Which is strange because the nurse didn't take Bella's blood pressure.

Bella calls the neck brace "stupid-looking" before getting rid of it.

Thank God the hospital staff no longer gives a damn about the Queen of Phoenix.

Tyler is brought in. He has a nasty head wound and has cuts all over his body.

But since Bella is a Mary Sue, Tyler is groveling. Because Heaven forbid, a Sue is inconvenienced.

He ignored me. "I thought I was going to kill you! I was going too fast, and I hit the ice wrong…" He winced as one nurse started dabbing at his face.

"Don't worry about it; you missed me."

"How did you get out of the way so fast? You were there, and then you were gone…"

That doesn't make a lot of sense.

Tyler's van was skidding and spinning on the ice at a high speed.

It would be hard to focus on anything and see EXACTLY what is happening.

But he was able to SEE Bella and RECOGNIZE her. 

Bella tries to explain that it was sparkledouche who saved her. But Tyler is surprised to hear this because he didn't see Edward.

I knew I wasn't crazy. What had happened? There was no way to explain away what I'd seen.

Four words: You knocked your head.

But since Bella Swan is a Sue, she can't have a head injury. What she says must be taken as gospel.

Bella doesn't have a concussion (how shocking!). But she can't leave until she talks to a doctor.

So I was trapped in the ER, waiting, harassed by Tyler 's constant apologies and promises to make it up to me. No matter how many times I tried to convince him I was fine, he continued to torment himself. He kept up a remorseful mumbling.

It's annoying that Bella Swan constantly sneering at everyone.

I still can't believe that some people think Bella Swan is a great and likable character.

So Bella ignores Tyler and closes her eyes. Then, Sparkledouche shows up and asks if she is sleeping.

I glared at him. It wasn't easy — it would have been more natural to ogle.

Because when a guy is a smug douchebag, you should be undressing him with your eyes.

Bella whines that she isn't allowed to leave and then asks him why isn't he "strapped to a gurney like the rest of us?"

Edward explains that he has connections and he is here to get her out of the hospital.

A handsome blond doctor shows up. Of course, Bella has a massive lady boner.

For some strange reason, Bella is surprised that the doctor looks tired and has dark bags under his eyes.

From Charlie's description, this had to be Edward's father.

Charlie only described Edward's father as being a handsome doctor who is happily married.

He didn't say that the doctor had blond hair.

For someone who is supposedly the smartest person in the universe, she is a moron.

Dr. Carlisle Cullen and Bella make polite conversation. He looks at Bella's X-rays and examines her head.

Edward is snickering and smiling.

Why is Edward the love interest? He is acting like douche. Even Bella thinks so.

Carlisle tells Bella that she can go home but she can come back to the hospital if she starts having any problems.

Bella wants to go back to school because she doesn't want to be home with her father. She is pissed that Edward can go to school.

"Someone has to spread the good news that we survived," Edward said smugly.

"Somebody has to collect the bets. The majority of the student body wagered that you were roadkill."

"Actually," Dr. Cullen corrected, "most of the school seems to be in the waiting room."

A Mary Sue can't be ignored!

Only an evil blasphemer would do such a thing.

If she breaks a nail, somebody must call the National Guard!

If the Sue has a boo-boo, the entire country flocks to her to present their condolences and offer her gifts. 

And why should anyone care about Tyler?

He isn't the Gary Stu or friends with the Sue. He's a filthy peasant who nearly killed the Queen of Phoenix. 

Bella covers her face with her hands and moans "Oh no." Carlisle says that she can stay in the hospital if she wants.

Bella tries to leave quickly. But since she is such a klutz, she falls. Unfortunately, Carlisle catches her.

She assures him that she is fine. Carlisle signs her chart with a "flourish."

Bella tells Carlisle that Edward was standing next to her. He mumbles an agreement and then starts treating Tyler.

My intuition flickered; the doctor was in on it.

Bella wants to speak with Edward alone. Edward walks away but she runs after him.

He demands to know what Bella wants. Bella insists that "You owe me an explanation."

"I saved your life — I don't owe you anything."

I hate to say it but Sparkledouche has a point. 

He doesn't owe her anything. 

Edward didn't do anything wrong, he saved her life.

Usually, you owe someone an explanation if you did something wrong to someone else.

If you save someone's life, you don't.

Let's say that I punched someone in the face for no reason, I owe them an explanation. 

But if I saved someone from being hit by an oncoming train, I would not. 

Bella whines that he "promised." Edward is pissed off and tells her to quit bothering him.

Since Bella is right, she wants to know "the truth" and "why I'm lying for you."

Edward demands that she tells him what she thinks has happened. Bella blurts out this:

"All I know is that you weren't anywhere near me —Tyler didn't see you, either, so don't tell me I hit my head too hard. That van was going to crush us both — and it didn't, and your hands left dents in the side of it — and you left a dent in the other car, and you're not hurt at all — and the van should have smashed my legs, but you were holding it up…"

This is EXACTLY the type of babbling that a concussion victim would be spewing. 

But since Bella is the Author Sue, she is 100% correct. 

And previously, Bella claimed that Edward stopped the car with his shoulder. 

NOW she is saying that Edward used his hands. 

'Ello continuity error! 

Edward gives her a look like "bitch be crazy" and this angers Bella.

"You think I lifted a van off you?" His tone questioned my sanity, but it only made me more suspicious. It was like a perfectly delivered line by a skilled actor.

If this was a line perfectly delivered by a talented actor, it would be hard to determine if it was the truth. 

Bella is obviously fishing for evidence that people are lying to her.

Because if no one believes her crazy story, then they MUST be liars!

"Nobody will believe that, you know." His voice held an edge of derision now.

Smooth move. You totally didn't blow your cover.

"I'm not going to tell anybody." I said each word slowly, carefully controlling my anger.

Minus the people, she has already told.

Bella keeps harassing Edward for the truth because she claims that she doesn't "like to lie."

Bella also tells him that she isn't going to "let it go."

This isn't shocking since Bella is obsessed with Edward. They glare at each other for a bit and Bella is the first person to speak.

I was in danger of being distracted by his livid, glorious face. It was like trying to stare down a destroying angel.

We get, S. Meyer.

Edward Cullen is the most handsome guy in the universe.

Stop reminding us every five seconds. 

BTW: a destroying angel is a deadly white mushroom. 

"Why did you even bother?" I asked frigidly. He paused, and for a brief moment his stunning face was unexpectedly vulnerable. "I don't know," he whispered.

Because nothing says tru luv when the designated love interest doesn't know why he saved the "heroine" in the first place.

Edward walks away and Bella storms off in a huff.

The waiting room was more unpleasant than I'd feared. It seemed like every face I knew in Forks was there, staring at me.

"It's so icky that the filthy peasants are staring at me. Guards, send them away!"

Charlie rushes over to Bella and asks if she is okay.

"There's nothing wrong with me," I assured him sullenly. I was still aggravated, not in the mood for chitchat.

Bella NEVER wants to chat with the filthy peasants. 

She will only be a chatty Cathy with the sparklepires.

And fuck you Bella! 

Bella tells Dad that the doctor says that she is fine and that she can go home.

Charlie and Bella start walking towards the hospital doors.

She annoyed that Mike, Jessica, and Eric are there and complains that they began "to converge on us."

Bella reluctantly waves at her friends and she is relieved to be inside the cruiser.

Charlie drives in silence and for some reason doesn't put the stereo on.

And Bella is so obsessed about Edward that she "barely knew that Charlie was there."

I was positive that Edward's defensive behavior in the hall was a confirmation of the bizarre things I still could hardly believe I'd witnessed.

It couldn't possibly be that Bella hallucinated everything after hitting her head!

No! The Sue is always right!

They arrive at the house and Charlie says something.

"Um… you'll need to call Renée." He hung his head, guilty.

I was appalled. "You told Mom!"

"Sorry."

I slammed the cruiser's door a little harder than necessary on my way out.

How dreadful!

Bella was almost killed and Charlie dared to tell her mother! 

The insolence!

Even though it would be disrespectful and rude for Charlie not to tell his ex-wife.

And for a character who is supposedly wise beyond her years, she loves throwing temper tantrums.  

My mom was in hysterics, of course. I had to tell her I felt fine at least thirty times before she would calm down.

Bella's mom "begged" her to come home. But Bella has no intentions of leaving Forks.

I was consumed by the mystery Edward presented. And more than a little obsessed by Edward himself.

Bella thinks about Edward 24/7 and called him "mean" when he didn't pay attention to her.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. I wasn't as eager to escape Forks as I should be, as any normal, sane person would be.

Bella, you are abby normal and insane. Get that through your thick skull.

Bella decides to go to bed early. She complains that Charlie kept an eye on her and how it is "getting on my nerves."

Then she takes some Tylenol and goes to bed.

That was the first night I dreamed of Edward Cullen.

She has been obsessing about Edward since day 1.

And I bet Bella has doodled "B + E", "Mrs. Bella Cullen", "Bella Cullen", "I heart Eddy", "Bedward" and "Bella + Edward = tru luv" all over her notebooks.

[sueboohscorner]

OUTLANDER S3 EP 4 "Of Lost Things" and...a hot steamy scene!

I admit it.  I was loathing the thought of watching Jamie with Geneva.  I hated it in the books and there has been that whole stupid "rape" argument over the years.  However, they did a wonderful job with that scene and........well.....just watching Sam Heughan in a sex scene is just hot anyway!

We only get snippets of Claire and Brianna, now at the manse with Roger and of course Fiona. Basically, we are right back where we left off with them in 1968 at the end of Season 2.   Most of this episode is about Jamie's life at Helwater Estate to the time he is set free.

Our handsome historian, Roger has set up a convenient timeline on some boards and they see that time in the future and past,  basically, give or take a couple of years, runs parallel with each other. So, their dilemma at the moment is finding Jamie after Culloden.  They scour over registries for the prisons, even the big ones in England, to see if they can find him.

  Absentmindedly, Claire picks up a document and a looks down and a name pops out of the page.  There he is!  James Fraser of Broch Tuarach!  They see him in several years worth of registries for Ardsmuir prison.  That is the good news.  The bad news?  The prison closed in 1756.  Now what?  It is suggested that they search the national archives for ship manifests, as Jamie may have been sent somewhere else.

However, lucky for us, we know exactly where Jamie is.  He is now a groom at Helwater Estate, the home of the Dunsany family. The family comes home and is properly greeted by all the help.  Alex Mackenzie (get used to this for one more time at least....Jamie uses his names as aliases) gets called inside to meet with Lord Dunsany.  Hmmmmm.   Turns out that Lord John told Lord Dunsany that this person was one of his prisoners, but highly recommended him.  He also knows, that he was a Jacobite prisoner (just not the notorious Red Jamie).  He is pretty cordial towards Jamie, as he tells him he lost his only son in that war.  However, "You lost." he says and it is over and done with.  Jamie is to receive a stipend while he works his time off there.  However, he will tell Lady Dunsany that Jamie was employed by the Grey family and came highly recommended.

1968 again for a quick moment. Claire receives a phone call one evening from Joe Abernathy and they have a nice conversation and then Joe asks when is she coming home?  He mentions a particular patient that will have to have surgery and thought that since it was really Claire's patient, she would want to take charge.  She just tells him she doens't know the answer to when she is coming home just yet.

 Roger's car broke down alongside the road with him under the hood trying to fix the problem and Brianna making fun of him because Fiona put cream on his scone because he is too skinny.  LOL. 

Bree asks Roger about a girlfriend.  He claims to have several girls that are merely friends, but no girlfriend.  Brianna tells Roger to let her have a look, reaches down and fixes the loose distributor cap.  Again...LOL!  Get used to it Roger, she is good at making and inventing things! Roger asks her jokingly what does he owe her, and she coyly replies "I will think of something." The romance is a brewing here, we just have to be patient and wait until next season until we see these two in bed. Sorry folks! 

Back to Helwater, and Jamie is called over to pick straws with the rest of the grooms.  He is confused, but finds out that the one with the short straw is the unlucky bastard to ride with Geneva Dunsany.  Self entitled, snobbish, used to getting her own way and demanding......yep, that is about right. She orders Jamie to get her horse and when he isn't fast enough calls him a "useless Scotchman".  When she rides away with one of the unhappy grooms, Jamie mutters, "A boot on the hindquarters is what that one needs," to another groom. 

They hear a voice ask "Are you speaking of the horse or my sister?" It is Isobel, Geneva's little sister and total polar opposite of the latter.  Jamie and the other groom are horrified of course and Isobel just laughs and says "I doubt it would do her any good."  She talks to Jamie about the magnificent horses and how she just like to come down to the stables to watch them.  She hates how her "father confines such splendid creatures".  Jamie says he has seen many stables and Helwaters is by far the finest, but Isobel looks at him and say "A cage is still a cage."  She is the nice one and it almost seems she feels sorry for Jamie and his situation.  She goes on to inquire about John Grey.  She has know him for some time and it is obvious to Jamie the girl has feelings for him.  He tries to discourage her advances in that direction by telling her, "Military and marriage are no easy bedfellows. The major's passion lies in soldiering."  Afterall, Jamie knows the man doesn't prefer women.  However, Isobel won't bow so easily and claims that "His dedication to king and country are one of the things I admire most about him."  Well, good try my man.....

It is time to draw straws once again and somehow Jamie manages to not pick the short straw.  However, when Geneva arrives and sees that it is not Jamie, she demands that he be the one to ride with her.  Oh yea. 

They ride through the woods and stop.  Jamie recommends they turn around and head back before dark. She laughs and says that he has to do HER bidding and rides off.  Jamie lags behind a little and then he hears her make a noise of distress and finds her lying on the ground seemingly unconscious.  Nope. 

Once he picks her up in his arms, and heads to his horse, she starts to laugh and said she knew he would do that.  He unceremoniously dumps her in a big mud puddle.   She laughs out loud and shouts to him as he rides away that she looks forward to their next ride.  

Good to his word, Lord John has returned and is playing a game of chess with Jamie on a stump.  They discuss a few things, but then are interrupted by none other Lord Melton, John's brother with Geneva and Isobel on his arm.  The girls introduce Alex Mackenzie and ask how the Grey family could get along without him as their groom as he is a good one.  Jamie is standing with his head down and stern look on his face.  Lord Melton sees Red Jamie, the man he saved and sent home back at Culloden.  He is good though and snidely remarks that they manage.  Geneva is paying close attention to body language here and can tell something is amiss.  They excuse themselves and go play a game of cribbage.

Geneva it turns out is being married off to a man (Ellesmere) who is old enough to be her grandfather.  Can we say ewww?  She is not pleased with him and Jamie is present working on one of the horses for the asshat's carriage.  Ellesmere remarks that "If a child of mine had that hair color I'd drown it before it drew a second breath" basically insulting Jamie.  

Geneva lags behind when the man leaves and everyone is headed back inside.  She watches as Jamie walks away.  I mean, with an ass like that, who can resist? *grin* You can see on her face she is hatching a plan. 

Later, while Jamie and another groom are pushing carts of horse dung, Geneva shows up.  The other groom bows out and leaves Jamie with Geneva who actually asks what he is doing "Shoveling shit my lady."  right to her face.  *me laughing again* She informs Jamie her wedding is in three days and asks if he has ever been married.  He says yes.

"Good, then you will know what to do." and she tells him to come to her bedroom that night.  Jamie is confused and asks what she means.  She informs him that she is to be wed to that old man Ellesmere and by damned if she is going to give her "maidenhead" to him.  She wants to do it with Jamie. 

Jamie is in disbelief and becoming furious and he refuses.  Then the wee bitch comes out with the blackmail.  She informs Jamie that Lord Melton had quite a bit of drink and was quite the chatterbox.  She learned quite a bit about him.  Jamie still refuses and Geneva tells Jamie that she will inform her mother who he really is and she will surely put Jamie's ass back in jail.  On top of that, she mentions Lallybroch to Jamie's horror and his sister Jenny.  She tells Jamie that troops will probably be taken there and bad things might happen to the family.  So, basically, Jamie has no choice but to give in to save his family......again.  

That night, Jamie sneaks into the house and up to Geneva's room.  She is standing there in a dressing gown and calls him by the name Jamie.   "Having brought me to your bed by means of threat against my family, I'll not have you call me by the name they gave me." He tells her to call him Alex, as that is his name also.  She orders him to undress.  As he starts, she is watching, but then turns away.  Sensing her hesitation and nervousness, he kindly tells her he can watch him if she likes. She watches as he takes off his pants then finally his shirt and she gasps seeing his back.  He says it doesn't hurt anymore and turns around. 

Geneva checks out Jamie's naked body and he gently asks if he can touch her to which she agrees. She gasps and tells him as he touches her and exposes her more that she doesn't know what to do.  Jamie's face starts to tell you that he remembers his own wedding night and the same feeling. 

So, he takes Geneva's hands and lays them on his chest.  Jamie I think sort of feels some sympathy for her.  He reminds her that they don't have to do this.  I'm doing this for myself. I want my first time to be with someone like you." she tells him.  She feels some of Jamie's chest and arm and asks if it will hurt much.  He tells her not if he takes his time.  Of course, I believe that that was just to try to calm her as he probably has no idea or ever bedded a virgin. 

They kiss and Jamie undresses her and picks her up and takes her to the bed.  There is licking and kissing and some moaning and she asks if she can touch him.....meaning...you know. 

He says yes and well, taking his time went out the window. "Move with me." he tells her.   It is actually kind of a tender love making moment and you can't help but feel a little sorry for Geneva who gets no say in who she marries and is a victim of her circumstances like Jamie is a victim with her blackmailing him.

Afterwards, Jamie asks if he hurt her and she replies that it hurt at first and then she liked it.  She professes love for Jamie and he stops her right there and tells her "It's not love, my lady, it’s just the feelings I've roused in your body. Strong, but it's not the same thing as love."   She asks what the difference is.  He sits up on the end of the bed and hands her the dressing gown.  "What you feel for me now, you could have with any other man. It's not particular. Love is when you give your heart and soul to another, and they give theirs in return." Geneva realizes she will never know that and Jamie remembers his wedding night and Claire.

Months later the Ellesmeres come to visit.  After saying her hellos to her family and they start to go inside, a very pregnant Geneva slightly turns, hand on stomach and gives Jamie a look.  He knows the child is his.  Damn woman!  Well....there is such a thing as pulling out Jamie.....

Back in 1968, Fiona hands Claire a bag and says that it belongs to Claire.  Inside, are the pearls, that belonged to Jamie's mother originally and Jamie gave to Claire on their wedding night.  "I thought I would never see these again." Claire exclaims as she holds them in her hand.  Claire had given them to Mrs. Graham as a way to try to forget the past (Yeah....that worked brilliantly).  Fiona explains that when her Gran had passed them on to her, but Fiona felt that her Gran (and herself) would want Claire to have them back.  Claire thanks Fiona and as Fiona leaves the room, Claire's look is distant. Obviously remembering the wedding night when Jamie gave them to her.  There is a bit of apprehension at the fact of not only finding his name, but to hold onto concrete evidence of her soulmate.  Brianna sees this in her mother's face.

A little later that night, Bree and Roger are sitting side by side in front of the fire.  Brianna is just starting to rebuild her relationship with her mother.  Is it fair to not fair to keep her in present time, or to let her go back to the man she has always loved?  What if she can never return? 

Roger calms her worries and Bree suddenly kisses him.  There is an awkward moment and then smiles.  I don't like this.  Roger and Bree have this banter back and forth in the book before EVER kissing.  It just feels forced.  Hopefully this will improve.

Back at Helwater, Isobel comes running down to the stables at night and knocks on the door for Jamie to come quickly.  Her sister is giving birth and there are complications.  They all rush to the Ellesmere estate.  The family runs upstairs to Geneva and Jamie is left behind to wait.  A little later, Jamie sees one of the female maids / servants and asks about the baby.  He is told that it is a fine and healthy boy.  A slight look of happiness and pride come over him.  He walks into a hallway and hears Isobel sobbing.  He inquires to what is wrong and Isobel tells him Geneva died.  She seemed fine at first, but then she started to bleed again and the docotors did all they could.  Jamie tries to comfort her, but she stands and smacks him across the face.  She informs Jamie that Geneva had told her everything, that the two had slept together, that the marriage with Ellesmere was never consummated and that Geneva said she was in love with Jamie.  Before the conversation can continue, they hear a commotion and screaming.  A servant comes and tells Jamie to come quickly that his master is asking for him and that there is trouble.

When Jamie gets to the hall that the commotion is, he sees Lord Ellesmere holding his newborn son (who amazingly is fast asleep) and a knife.  "You promised me a virgin!" he yells and calls the baby a bastard.  He threatens to kill it.  The Dunsany's are pleading with him to be reasonable and to let them take the baby.  Lord Dunsany has a gun pointed at Ellesmere and threatens to shoot.  Jamie says for them both to drop their weapons. 

He steps between them both and quietly convinces Lord Dunsany to give him the gun.  Ellesmere is still furious and threatening to kill the baby with the Dunsany's still trying to give them the child to raise instead.  Ellesmere has had enough and makes a wrong move to harm the baby which makes Jamie shoot the gun and kill him.  He rushes over to his son who is unharmed and picks him up and hands him to the Dunsanys.  

A few weeks later, Jamie meets Isobel on the road on the estate. She is pushing a carriage with the baby.  Jamie looks down at his sleeping son and Isobel says that they named him William after her father, but she calls him Willie.  No irony there, as Jamie's brother's name was Willie.  Jamie says it is a good name.  Isobel goes on to apologize for slapping him and her anger.  The moment was raw and fresh for her with her sister dying.  "My sister was a difficult woman, and you were kind to her."  She leaves the carriage and meets up with her mother. 

In that short moment, Jamie looks down upon his son and remarks at how wee he is.  He adds "Dinna fash yerself. I am here."

Lady Dunsany comes over to Jamie and the carriage.  She tells Jamie that the verdict was in and that basically Jamie won't be charged with Lord Ellesmere's death.  Unfortunate accident.  She goes on to say that she has always known he was a Jacobite prisoner, but she is very grateful for saving her grandson's life.  She offers to use her husband's influence to release Jamie from indenture servitude.  Jamie only pauses for a moment and then asks politely if he can remain just a little while longer, as it is very tough in the Highlands and he has been able to send some money to his sister and would like to do so a little more.  Obviously, it is because he wants to spend time with Willie.  She agrees and says that he only need to ask and he can go home.  

Back to 1968 and Claire, Brianna and Roger hit a dead end at the National Archives looking for Jamie in ship manifests.  He is nowhere to be found and there is no more manifests.  A dead end. 

Later the three are sitting at a bar in a pub.  Claire is drowning her disappointment with some whiskey.  Brianna wonders why the men around them are glaring.  Roger explains that women are not supposed to sit at the bar.  Claire remarks that it is 1968 and they should be allowed to sit where ever they please. They listen to a woman.....at the bar because she is entertainment....reciting a Robert Burns' poem with the line,  "Freedom and whisky gang thegither!" Claire smiles slightly and says she used to say that to Jamie often.  Brianna tries to comfort her mother by saying that they are not giving up and will find him.  Claire decides that it is time to go home and you can hear Roger's heart break at the thought of being without Brianna around.

Back at Helwater, Jamie has had several years to spend with his son and watching him grow up and hopefully be somewhat of an influence on the boy.  He is leading Willie on his favorite pony around in circles near the house, as Lady Dunsany and a friend look on.  Lady Dunsany says that they joke that Willie spends so much time with the groom that he is starting to look like him.  Her friend studies the two for a moment and agrees and laughs.  Jamie overhears this conversation. 

Later, he lifts Willie up into a carriage and gives him the job of cleaning the windows.  He closes the door and looks up at the boy and then sees his own reflection in the glass.  He realizes it is time to go home.  Jamie tells Willie of his decision, but the boy is extremely upset and yells and kicks at Jamie telling him that he has to stay. "You have to do what I tell you! I'm your master!" he cries.  He lashes out to which Jamie scolds him and accidentally calls him a wee bastard.  Willie demands he take it back (he has heard others call him that).  Jamie immediately apologizes and takes it back and they hug.

Lord John Grey returns for a visit.  He agrees that Jamie made the right decision to leave.  “We all have our secrets. Yours is walking around. Anyone with half an eye can see it... It won't be long before young Willie sees it himself.” he remarks.  They take a small walk and Jamie stops and asks if John could do him a favor.  To watch over and take care of Willie for him.  In return he will do anything John wants, like give him his body. 

The look on Lord John's face is priceless!  He is floored.  He outright refuses the proposal and Jamie asks why.  "I should probably want you 'til the day I die, but tempted as I am, did you really think I would accept? he tells Jamie and that without knowing the true feeling behind it, his honor would be insulted.  He goes on to tell Jamie his own news.  He and Isobel are to be married therefore, he can watch over and take care of Willie and fulfill Jamie's wish.  Jamie is touched says "I'm grateful to you. You shall always have my friendship."  They tenderly shake hands as friends.

Later that night, Willie comes to visit Jamie at the stable.  Jamie has set out a statue and a candle.  Willie asks why.  Jamie explains that the wee statue is of the Patron Saint of Lost Things and that he lights the candle to remember those he has lost, like his brother with the same name....Willie, Murtagh, his sister and his wife.  Willie remarks that Jamie has no wife.  Jamie smiles and says that someday he will want one and there is a perfect one out there for him and he will find her, or she actually may find you.  You have to think that Jamie remembers the day Claire first appeared at the cabin and fixed his shoulder.  Willie says his grandmother says that only "stinking papists" light candles and pray to things and asks Jamie if he is one.  Jamie smiles and tells him in fact he is.  Willie demands to be a "stinking papist" because he want to be like him.  Jamie tenderly, with some water on his thumb christens the boy William James.  "James is your special papist name." Jamie tells him and tells Willie to keep it a secret along with the fact that he is now a papist. 

He gets up and gets a small box and opens it, revealing a present he made for the boy.  A carved snake, just like his own brother made him many years ago. 

This one has the name "Willie" carved into the bottom."Keep it to remember me by." he tells Willie.  This is officially Jamie's goodbye to his only son.

The final montage is of Claire and Bree leaving the manse and on a plane back home, both deep in thought.  Roger sitting alone with a toy airplane thinking of what to do next and missing Bree's company.  

The most heartbreaking though, is of Isobel and Lord John standing with Willie in front of them.  Jamie is getting ready to leave.  Isobel hugs him and whispers that they will take good care of his son.  Jamie pats Willie on the head and John and him exchange a look of gratitude and goodbye.  Jamie mounts his horse and starts to head off when Willie starts to cry out "Mac!!"  and chases after Jamie.  Jamie, knowing he can't turn around and see this cries as he rides on and Lord John captures Willie and holds him as they watch Jamie ride off.  

What can I say about this episode?  There were quite of bit of changes and things left out.  Some, like the scene between Jamie and Geneva in bed was probably a good thing, because that "rape" argument is STILL going strong.  I would have liked to see more of Bree and Roger interaction before any kissing. Sure it is an adaptation (tired of hearing that personally), but why do they have to ONE:  do a book a season and TWO: rush through everything?

However, I give this episode a definite A, especially for Sam Heughan's acting performance which I swear is getting better every time.

What is your take on this episode?  Likes or dislikes? Questions?  Let me know in the comments below! And to keep up to date, don't forget to subscribe!

[vapeslinger-blog]

The Day I Decided to Stop Killing Myself.

Summary

The day I decide to quit killing myself. Was the day I decide to quit smoking and find something healthier to fixate on.

Body *

Let me start by saying I LOVE smoking. That is a horrible fact to admit especially with today's stigma attached to the subject but I really do enjoy it.

So this story starts about 38 years ago when I was just a young boy. My parents were 70s kids and they grew up in a time where smoking was normal and socially accepted. Everyone smoked and you could smoke anywhere you went the grocery store, the restaurant where you were eating dinner, work and even the doctor's office. Heck even the doctor was probably smoking in the visit with you.

Now I was about 5 or 6 years old and my parents smoked around me and I hated it. I just could not stand the smell of the smoke and I hated smelling like smoke all the time. I would gripe and moan begging them to stop telling them it was nasty and making me sick and of course they would respond with the normal parental response of "quit your bitching". I remember one time I was still really young but I had gotten into my mother's purse and decided I was going to make her quit. So I grabbed her pack of "Marlboros" and I was going to show her and I threw them in the toilet and just left them floating there. Well my mom found them like that and she was furious at me. I probably got called every name in the book but at the end of it all she calmed down and talked to me about it. She said "it really bothers you that bad huh?" Well I just told her that it was gross and stinky and didn't like going to school and smelling like smoke all day. She agreed it was a nasty habit and that she would try to quit. Well of course like many people who "try to quit" it didn't really work. A couple of months after this event my mom found out that she was pregnant with what I was sure was my little brother and when she found out she was pregnant she looked at me and said "I will grant you your wish" and she never smoked again. Following my mother's lead Mt dad even decided to quit smoking and to this day they have never smoked again.

Fast forward about 10 years. I was about 15 or so and I knew by this point I had an addictive personality even if I didn't know what that was at the time I knew that I tended to over indulge in anything I found enjoyable. One day I was riding my bike along a highway(small town highway) and I found a pack of cigarettes that must have accidentally been dropped.by someone. I picked them up even though I had never had any interest in smoking I thought I was cool with those things in my pocket. You might be thinking to yourself that must be when he started smoking but you would be wrong. I kept that pack of cigarettes hidden in my room for months and every once in a while I would get them out and look at them and smell them and even act like I was smoking but I knew better than to ever actually light one up because I knew I wouldn't be able to stop once I started and remember all those years ago how nasty my parents smelled because of those things.

Years went by and I resisted the urge to join all my friends and all the "cool kids" and start smoking. I worked in restaurants where people smoked and took cigarette breaks while I was left working but I refused to smoke so I would take air breaks 5 minute breaks where I would walk away like everyone else but but I wouldn't smoke I would just stand there and breathe. One day I guess I was about 19 to 20 years old I was coming back from a trip to Louisville KY with a friend and he was smoking and I said oh to heck with it I am going to try one and just see what all the hype was about. From that first hit of that cigarette. Marlboro Menthol Lights I was hooked. My nerves seemed to calm and I was relaxed and just felt satisfaction.

So for the next 18 years I was an avid smoker. Smoking anywhere from 1 pack to 2 packs daily. I had to have my cigarettes even choosing to smoke over eating at times because I couldn't afford to buy both food and cigarettes.

I got married about a year and a half ago and my wife is a non-smoker now she doesn't really gripe at me about smoking and she has always helped facilitate my own murder. Recently however she had begun to get frusterated with my smoking worried that it was going to cost me an early life so she has been asking me to quit and grumping at me about it every chance she gets.

Six months ago I decided she was right I was paying 6-7 dollars a day just to KILL myself and I had to make a change. I knew I was never going to be able to just quit cold turkey so I started doing some online research. I found all kinds of advise on how to quit and what all these other people had tried, gums and lozenges, patches and hypnosis. After a number of failed attempts I learned about Vaping. I ran across a website that told me all about this new alternative to smoking called Vaping where people had these contraptions that took this juice and when you hit them you blew out these large clouds of vapor. I read a lot about the products and the benefits and the downfalls. Some will say it's worse than smoking some will say it isn't as bad but it's still horrible. After all my research I have found that overall vaping is far better for you than cigarettes. Tabacco is sprayed with tons of carcinogens and arsonic along with a multitude of other deadly chemicals and then rolled into a cigarette and lit on fire. That just sounds horrible already.

So I decided I was going to switch. Learning that many people switched to vaping and gradually took the nicotene out of the juice they buy or make.

Once I had decide to switch I still needed to find the right Vape or Mod as I found out they are called. So I went online again and started searching for the best website with the best products. That's when I found http://www.directvapor.com/?A=1516. They had everything you could imagine. All types of different products ranging from beginner to advanced Vaper. At first I chose a starter kit that had everything I needed to get started vaping and give up those nasty cigarettes. I purchased that kit it was a SMOK POCKET VAPE. The service with Direct Vapor was excellent meaning the checkout was easy signing in was a breeze and I even got in during a sale and got my product at a phenomenal price. The prices there are already lower that anywhere else I could find. Then shipping was remarkable. I placed my order and immediately received a confirmation email that reviewed my order and let me know that as soon as my order was shipped that I would receive a tracking email. Keep in mind I ordered my first MOD from them at like 5:30pm on a Monday night. By first thing Tuesday morning I had received my tracking info meaning my package was already shipped just that quick. Since that first order of business have been back lots and lots of times. I have decided the Vaping is the way to go for me. So I have ordered a number of different products including new and bigger MODs but also e-juices their choices are excellent as well as some tool kits and items to create some of my own MODS and each and every time I have ordered from Direct Vapor my experience has been outstanding. I would recommend them to anyone anytime for third vaping needs.

Now I have decided to take action of my own to help others the way I was helped by creating an all inclusive sight that gives people information of how to switch or how to quit. It gives suggestions on what products you will need to quit and not switch and provides direct links to those products. It also provides information on switch to vaping and has links to some of the more popular products and the best part is that it's actually a forum.for people to share their stories and build a community of support for one another. The websites name is http://www.vapeslingerz.siterubix.com. The reason for the subdomain is because this is a free site I have built just to help people along their journey and hopefully one day become a solid business that can grow and help more struggling QUITTERS along the way.

Here are some links if you to want to take the journey to a healthier life.

http://www.directvapor.com/?A=1516 

http://www.vapeslingerz.siterubix.com

[artificialqueens]

Something’s Been Different Lately (Witney) - Albatross

AN: Second attempt at writing in this fandom. Any constructive criticism is welcomed and appreciated. Bonus points if you know the book the ending dialogue was inspired (loosely) by. Willam - male pronouns, Courtney/Shane - female pronouns, just for the sake of simplicity.

“Willam…you were quite loud last night,” Courtney said pointedly as she worked on applying her makeup for the show tonight. The man in question looked up from the mirror he had been painting in front of and glanced back at Courtney with a slightly shamed but clearly proud smile as he replied nonchalantly, “Sorry.” “Doubt it,” the blonde shot back in a huff. She felt utterly tense at addressing the situation with her best friend but it was something she had to do for her own sanity. Last night wasn’t the first time she’s overheard Willam’s liaisons; steadily they have become more frequent, particularly as they joined the same tour last month. At first she tried to ignore it but recently it had become harder and harder not to listen, particularly as Willam had started becoming quite vocal during them. The previous night had been the final straw and Courtney resolved to talk with him about it. She couldn’t stand hearing the other queen moaning and calling out other men’s names late into the night. Not as she laid in her bed next door desperately fighting the urge to cry as she did all she could to block out the noise. Turning around at the sharp comment, Willam took in the other queen’s discomfort with a vaguely furrowed brow. It seemed unusual to him that Courtney would be so irritated by this as they had all heard more than their fair share of tour mates hooking up at all hours of the night. The two stared each other down through Courtney’s mirror but as usual, she was the first break eye contact and return to her work. Silently, Willam removed himself from the chair he had been firmly seated in and joined Courtney at her own station. He waited patiently as the other queen applied the final touches to her eyebrows before wrapping an arm around the blonde’s shoulders and pulling her close. “Hey, if it bothers you that much, just bang on the wall next time and tell us to shut the fuck up,” the younger queen joked. Less than amused, Courtney stared up the dirty blonde with a stony expression on her half-painted face. Willam’s eyebrows raised slightly at the reaction and said semi-apologetically, “Or we could just ask to have rooms on different floors or something…” Courtney’s icy glare immediately cracked at the thought of being further separated from her friend. Hurriedly, she dismissed that idea and offered, “We don’t have to go that far…just…maybe keep it down a little so I can tune it out with the TV?” Willam’s smirk returned as he ruffled Courtney’s natural hair and promised, “Alright, I can work with that.” Courtney swatted his hand away with a smile and returned to completing her makeup routine. Despite the supposed air of finality on the subject; Willam wasn’t inclined to leave Courtney’s side just yet. He openly studied the older queen until he felt the urge to blurt out, “When’s the last time you got laid, anyway?” Courtney thanked the gods above that she hadn’t been applying her lip liner right at that second and froze in pure shock with the pencil hoving just millimeters away from her skin. She felt the blood rising to her cheeks as she stared at Willam through the mirror. Fighting the overwhelming desire to flee immediately from the dressing room, she asked cautiously, “Why do you ask?” “That long, huh?” Willam asked, smirk wider than ever now that he had pegged the other queen’s problem. “I don’t want to talk about it,” Courtney replied hastily as she carelessly drew on her top lip. She might be read later for the sloppiness but right now all she was focused on was making herself look decent enough so that she hide anywhere else until the show started. Before she was able to attempt the lower lip, Willam gently pulled the pencil from her hand and turned her chin up to face him. “Come on now, it’s that bad. At least not enough to willfully booger your own makeup just to escape.” Courtney sat in a stunned, embarrassed silence as Willam carefully evened out the liner on top and drew the bottom to proportion out the illusion. “There…a little overdrawn but you’re pretty again.” “Thanks,” Courtney mumbled shamefully as she turned away to find the right shade of lipstick amongst her strewn supplies. “Use this one,” Willam said as he plucked one from the pile and handed it to her. Courtney’s eyes shot to Willam’s then down to the hand extended towards her before hesitantly accepting the tube. While she ran the color over her lips, Willam pressed on with his inquiry, “I didn’t mean anything by it, Court…You just seem a little…wound up lately, I guess.” “Its been awhile…” Courtney admitted vaguely. She remembered every detail of when she last had sex; who it was with, what had happened during and after…what it made her realize…But that was none of Willam’s business and she intended to keep it that way. “Thought so,” Willam trailed off. Courtney took the reprieve from questioning to rush through the remaining steps needed to become the Courtney Act everyone expected to see that night. She was moments away from pinning in her hair and running out the door when Willam placed a gentle hand on her upper arm. It took all she had not to shiver at the contact as she listened to Willam apprehensively asking her, “Why don’t you join me tonight?” Her jaw dropped slightly as she choked out several incoherent syllables in a pathetic attempt to create a proper sentence. “And some trade I’m hooking up with after the meet and greet,” Willam added quickly before muttering to himself with an eye-roll, “He’s already seen what I look like; I bet he’d jump at the chance to fuck someone prettier.” Courtney fought the urge to grab Willam and shake him for talking down on himself. Every time she heard Willam insulting himself or giving himself a back-handed compliment, her heart broke a little. But all she could bring herself to do at the moment was anxiously bite her lip as she considered the proposal. She knew there were a million ways for this to blow up in her face but it had been so long…and she trusted that Willam had the best intentions by asking her. Seeing the internal struggle play out on his best friend’s face, Willam continued on, “Don’t feel like you have to say ‘yes’ for my sake; it’s totally up to you…You could even just watch if you want and join in on whatever you feel comfortable with. I can check with him but I don’t think he’d have a problem with it.” With a heavy sigh, Courtney took one last look at the hope in Willam’s eyes and made her decision. She nodded with a timid smile and agreed on the condition that Willam check with the man first before fully committing. The grin Willam returned to her made the inevitable heartbreak almost seem worth it. Within the hour, Willam had received confirmation of the other man’s approval and proudly announced it to Courtney…as well as half of the venue’s staff as the queens made their way to the stage for their performance. If she had to be honest with herself, Courtney had wished multiple times throughout the waiting period that the unknown trade would refuse but now she seemed stuck to at least follow her friend back to their hotel room. She tried her best to remain optimistic for what lay ahead for the remainder of the night but not even Willam’s giddy excitement could ease the growing queasiness in her stomach. **************************** Following the end of the show, the queens did a quick touch up to their faces for the meet and greet and then rushed back to the hotel once the final fan had left. Courtney had not thought to ask Willam to describe the mystery man prior to meeting him but one look around the hotel lobby and she easily picked out Willam’s target for the night. He was tall, tan and clearly hit the gym more often than most; in short, he was 100% Willam’s type. At a glance, Courtney might’ve even found him attractive not so long ago but tonight her mind was on another man she’d rather have. Willam let the two introduce themselves, seemingly learning for the first time that the man’s name was Marco, and led the way back to his room. Marco was less than subtly checking out the queens as they walked a few paces in front of him and left little doubt that he internally licking his lips at what the night held for him. Despite the easy going nature he displayed in the lobby, Courtney still felt uncomfortable and slightly out of place as he followed behind them. Willam glanced over to her friend and pulled her close to whisper excitedly in her ear, “I did good, huh? Just wait till you see his dick! He sent me a pic last night and ooh, bitch, I damn near drove myself the 6 hours it took to get here.” Courtney gave the other queen an awkward smile and remained silent. Somewhere in the back of her mind a tiny voice was screaming at her to just go back to her own room and let herself cry herself to sleep; whatever happened tonight wouldn’t be worth the pain tomorrow. But she told Willam she’d join…so she’d at least put up a good front during the night’s escapades. As they turned down the final hallway, Willam uncapped the bottle of poppers around his neck a took a deep whiff. She blinked her eyes as the familiar sensation took over her body and offered the bottle to Courtney who declined with a polite shake of her head. Brushing off the refusal, Willam asked gleefully, “Been awhile since we shared one, huh? What’s it been, 5 months?” and noticeably sped up as the room came into view. “Sounds about right…” Courtney replied vaguely as she watched her friend whip out the card key and open the door with an air of heavy practice. She knew exactly how long ago they had last spent the night together with some common trade; 5 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days…Courtney remembered all too well what had happened…The night was typical for them; show, meet and greet, then out to have a little fun at a nearby club. They had just enough to drink to make the idea of having a threesome before an early flight the next morning seem like the most brilliant plan of the century. They bickered back and forth for a good 20 minutes over who they would take to bed with them but finally they settled on a what seemed to be a happy medium; a verse top just a few years younger than them with an open mind and a beautifully toned body. It took less convincing (and alcohol) than they thought to lure him back to Willam’s room, especially considering that by that point it would be generous to say they had looked anything like the gorgeous queens that would appear in tomorrow’s Instagram photos of the show. All the same, the man eagerly allowed himself to be enveloped by the queens on either side of him. Hell, he even encouraged them to have some fun with each other as well and that was the moment Courtney pegged as the beginning of her descent into perpetual heartache. They had kissed often enough before, even had gone so far as to give one another a handjob when they got too wound up on the road. But that night when they kissed something felt…off. Courtney blamed the alcohol for a serious case of beer-goggles because even with his smeared lipstick, glittery eye shadow extending down his cheeks, and painted eyebrows half wiped off; Willam still looked amazing to her. She wanted to tear the other queen’s wig off, run her fingers through his natural curls and kiss him till there wasn’t a trace of lipstick between the two of them. But she quickly pushed the thought away and focused her sight back on their one night stand. The queens took their turn with him and he basked in the attention he received from them. Courtney had her chance first and was left utterly satisfied, at least physically. Usually when they would share for the night, as soon as one queen was finished, she’d excuse herself to clean up and often times would remain in the bathroom or at least out of sight as the other had their fun. They might switch back once or twice for a second round but once they actually began fucking, that was the cue for the other to keep their distance. That night Courtney dared to cross the line. She remained on the bed and watched as Willam laid on his back taking every inch of the nameless man and begged for more. Something in that moment broke down the wall Courtney had unknowingly built and she wanted nothing more than to be the one making Willam scream for her. Without thinking about it, she had climbed over top of Willam and kissed him. Far from being repulsed by the behavior, he pulled Courtney in closer and ran his hands over every inch of skin he could reach. Courtney broke their lip lock with a sharp gasp as she felt Willam’s hand wrapped around her and pump in time with man thrusting into him. He was coming apart beneath her as he neared his own release but instead of the previous moans of broken syllables, he seemed to have only one name stuck to his lips; hers. As he was drawn closer and closer to the edge, she marked her territory on his skin, painting his neck and chest with the remainder of her lipstick and with what would later develop into noticeable hickies the next morning. With a final cry of her name, Willam came and shuddered violently beneath her but never loosening his grip. Seeing him fall apart so completely with only her in his thoughts made her wish more than anything that she had been the one inside him. But all the wishing in the world wouldn’t change the fact that it would only ever be his hand that she felt on her member and with a final cry of his name, she released onto his hand and stomach. At some point the unknown man finished and took his leave. For the life of her, Courtney could not even remember how long it took him to cum or if he cleaned himself off before exiting. All that played through her mind was the imagery of Willam panting and moaning beneath her, cumming with her name on his lips like it was her driving him over the edge. He had passed out less than half an hour after the session ended, barely even cleaning up and getting a pair of underwear on before collapsing between the sheets. His last act was to wrap an arm around Courtney’s waist as she leaned against the headboard in disbelief over what had happened. She wanted to run back to her room and scream at the overwhelming realization of her emotions but when she looked down at the drowsy man beside her, she found she couldn’t bear to leave his side just yet. Pushing aside her growing worry for now, she slipped underneath the covers and pulled Willam closer to her. Though she would never bring it up with Willam (who’d deny it anyway) she swore she saw the corners of his mouth turn upwards into a small smile right before she fell into an exhausted slumber. When she awoke a few hours later, she disentangled herself from her sleepy friend and made the walk of shame back to her own room but not before turning out the lights Willam had left on in preparation for the inevitable hangover he’ll have the next morning. At best she would only have enough time for an hour or two more of sleep before having to get both Willam and herself checked out in order to make it to their flight on time so she decided to take the chance to work out exactly what made her act the way she had during that supposedly NSA hookup. Willam had always held a special place in her group of friends. Despite the constant teasing, he did show genuine concern for her when she needed it. Emotions were not his strong suit but the effort he made to help meant all the world to her. Besides that, he was just plain fun to be around. He could always make her laugh even on the shittiest days and despite the questionable situations they found themselves in, he never intentionally did anything to put her in danger. He was both her escape and her grounding in reality; they brought out the best and worst in each other and weren’t afraid to call each other out on their bullshit. To put it bluntly, they fit together like yin and yang. They certainly could function on their own but when brought together they offered the perfect counterbalance to each other’s personalities. Yet despite how it looked on paper, there was still the reality of their working life that made the idea of a relationship seem entirely irresponsible at best. Courtney knew this but that did nothing to alleviate her feelings and she was quite certain Willam did not return them in the any capacity. It could be argued that his jabs at her were nothing more than an adult version of the playground teasing a child did towards their crush but Courtney very much doubted it. No one was immune to his taunting once they became close enough with him; it was pretty much his default form of communicating with those he cared about. That fact alone almost made the situation more bearable; knowing she had no chance with him and thus little opportunity to fuck up what they already had provided some relief from the ever increasing anxiety that accompanied her thoughts on the situation. But although that part of the equation provided some solace, it did nothing to stop the jealousy and hurt that sprang up when she happened to overhear his frequent hookups. He was just as happy to spill the details the next day even as her responses grew increasingly more bitter. Even the morning following their mutual tryst, he ignored the pounding in his head in order to ecstatically compare notes with her of what they could both remember. “And damn, Court! You really did a number on my chest! Looks like someone attacked me with a fucking vacuum.” She knew he was exaggerating for comedy’s sake but even through the layer of makeup he had used to cover the most visible marks, she saw she had in fact left quite an impression on his skin. She tried to feel guilty about it, she truly wanted to, but again the thought of marking her territory worked its way back into her mind even though she knew it would never be true. That had been the last time she had sex but certainly not the only time she tried. Immediately following their next show, Courtney wasted little time in finding another man to spend the night with. She quickly found a willing participant and eagerly led him back to her room. He was far from her usual type and that was exactly what she had hoped for. She wanted to forget herself in himself, begged the heavens for it even, but after 10 minutes of unsuccessful foreplay it was clear that nothing was going to happen that night that’d be worth writing home about. Instead she offered oral as something of consolation prize and parted ways with him immediately after. The same results came about when she tried again next week, as well as a few days after that. No matter who she selected, each attempt ended in relative failure leading up to going nearly six months of unwilling abstinence. To say she was frustrated at this point would be an understatement. She had a slight hope that maybe tonight something would change that but given her latest track record, it seemed unlikely. Nearly the second the door had been closed, Willam crowded Marco against the bed. He seemed to appreciate the slightly aggressive manhandling Willam displayed as he sat him of the edge of the mattress and carefully pulled down the zipper. Courtney was actually quite taken aback at how forward Willam was being tonight. Usually he took his time to tease his partners before giving them what they wanted. He loved getting them riled up, pushing them to the edge and back by denying them what they wanted until they begged for the privilege of using his body. He practically got off on the thought alone of making men crave him to the point where they were willing to sacrifice their pride for just one night of pleasure with him. But tonight Willam went straight to the point and made it clear that he did not want to wait to begin that night’s activities. The boxers were barely out of the way before Willam had his lips wrapped around Marco. Courtney stood in shock as she watched Willam work his mouth in a way only he knew how. Her fingers twitched as she felt the familiar sting of envy pierce her heart like a needle. Part of her was angry, enough that she was tempted to walk out right then but another part yearned to stay. She felt compelled to watch; it would be the closest she could get to the real thing while still staying safe in the protective bubble she had created. Tonight she would allow herself to be a voyeur, simply taking in the sights while staying behind their unspoken boundary this time. As Willam focused on his own task, Courtney settled into a nearby chair and remained out of his line of sight. Marco however made it a point to watch her rather than the one currently servicing him. He gave her a small smirk and slid his fingers through Willam’s faux blonde locks. He slowly pulled away to remind the other man, “Watch the hair…” Instantly Marco turned on the charm and offered an apology. He smiled down at Willam who spun on his knees to ask Courtney, “Want a turn?” Courtney’s eyes shot from Marco then down to Willam as a light pink tinted her cheeks. She timidly shook her head and replied softly, “No, I’m fine.” Willam nodded and turned his attention back to Marco for another minute before pulling off with a loud final 'pop’. He stood up to whisper something in Marco’s ear and was met with an ardent grin. The two eagerly discarded their clothes as Willam dug through his suitcase for the lube and condoms he always seemed to keep on hand. As he returned to the bed, Marco crashed his lips to Willam’s for a brief moment before asking huskily in his ear, “How do you want it?” Courtney saw a fleeting look of hesitation pass across Willam’s face and leant forward in curiosity. Willam had never faltered in front of her before. Even when he knew something was a terrible idea, if he thought there was even the slightest chance things might work out, he’d plow right along all the way up to the moment where it blew up in his face. That stubborn optimism was one of the qualities she had found so endearing about him but tonight she wished more than ever that he would listen to his sense of reason and call it quits. But that was not Willam’s way and he flickered his eyes back to Courtney’s for a brief moment before answering, “I want to watch her…” She felt her cheeks burning and a surge of pleasure shot straight to groin. Her eyes connected with Willam’s as he positioned himself on hands and knees facing her direction while Marco slipped on the condom. As soon as the first lubed finger pressed at his entrance, his teeth caught his lower lip in anticipation of what was to come. Again, a wave of jealousy washed over Courtney but watching Willam’s face contort in pleasure as Marco prepped him was almost worth it. The soft noises of pleasure that escaped Willam were like music to her ears. If she could be the one eliciting them, she would gladly listen for the rest of her life. Marco continued to stretch him until he easily took three fingers and was nearly begging for something more. Taking the cue, Marco withdrew the digits and lined himself up with Willam’s entrance. Courtney forced down a thick swallow as Marco carefully guided himself in and drew out a satisfied moan from the man beneath him. He paused his movements until Willam adjusted to the change, then made quick work of setting a fitting pace for both of them. Through it all, Courtney never took her eyes off Willam. She felt a rush of shame develop in the pit of her stomach as she slipped a hand beneath her dress and palmed herself through the thin panties she had worn. Part of her hated the way she was getting so worked up at the sight of her best friend being fucked by another man but it was hard not to react when he was making such a show of it. With a glazed look in his eyes, Willam purposefully dropped his gaze down to Courtney’s hidden hand. In a breathless voice, he begged her to come over and like a puppy eager to please, she was out of her seat before the final syllable passed his lips. Balancing himself on one hand, he reached up to grab the front of Courtney’s dress and pull her down to his level. He brought his lips close to hers but paused once he got within an inch of touching them. He was panting heavily now with each graze over his prostate and struggled to find the right words to speak. Daring to bridge the gap, Courtney crashed her lips to his in a manner so frenzied she inwardly cringed at her own desperation. Willam made no effort to rebuke the action and kept the fabric of her dress clutched tightly in his hand. The two held the heated lip lock as long as they could until a lack of air forced them to separate in order to catch their breath. Recovering quickly, Courtney leant back in to begin again but halted as Willam released her from his grip. Clumsily, he traced his hand down to her thigh and paused at the hemline. “C-Can I-” Willam gasped between thrusts. Courtney’s eyes blew wide open as she realized what he was offering and fervently nodded her head. Willam gave a small smile and struggled with his free hand to pull the panties aside. If Courtney had been in any clearer of a head space she would have helped but at the moment she too overwhelmed at the situation to be of much use other than to simply stand there. They held each other’s gaze as Willam carefully slid himself down on her length. Even with the force of the man slamming into him, Willam made sure not to hurt Courtney. Earlier his focus had been solely on how good he could look while sucking off his partner, but with her he only cared about what gave her the most pleasure. Whatever she reacted to, he made sure to repeat it tenfold and within moments she was left an absolute mess in his hands. The mere fact that he was so concerned with making sure she enjoyed herself as well tonight left Courtney feeling weak at the knees. Throwing aside any remaining notion that this night could remain emotion-free; Courtney lightly traced her fingers along Willam’s cheek and finally allowed herself to get lost in his sinful blue eyes. She wanted to take in every detail of this moment because she knew it would not happen again. As Courtney grew closer, she whispered out a shaky warning to Willam. He slowly pulled off and gave her a few more pumps before lost it and released onto his chest. It was just as well that she had finished so quickly, neither of the other men would last much longer. As Willam came, he moaned out Courtney’s name and drew her back in for another sloppy kiss while he rode out his orgasm. Marco finished shortly after and carefully withdrew from Willam. The instant Willam felt the other man slide off the bed, he pushed himself into a kneeling position to kiss Courtney more easily. He cupped her face in his hands as though she were the most sacred object in the world and pulled her close enough to be left tilting precariously over the edge of the bed. Courtney placed a firm hand on his shoulder and used the other to balance herself as she guided them down onto the mattress. They stayed locked in that position for several moments before Willam reluctantly excused himself to clean up. As he disappeared into the bathroom, a flood of emotions washed over Courtney. Her head started throbbing as she instantly started analyzing everything that had happened since the door had closed less than hour earlier. Feeling numb, she repositioned herself at the edge of the mattress and buried her face in her hands.   Slowly she was getting lost in her own thoughts but an unexpected presence directly in front of her brought her attention back to reality. Confused, she looked up to find Marco hovering far too close for comfort. She would have thought he’d have left by now but it seems he had been watching their exchange and waited patiently for an opening. Now that Willam was out of sight, he turned his full attention to Courtney and immediately she felt small and weak under his gaze. With little regard for her personal space, he ran his fingers down her cheek and asked if she wanted her turn with him as well. She tried her best to suppress a shudder but the glint in his eyes was unsettling. Politely, she declined and prayed he would take a few steps back. Disregarding the refusal, he continued to try and persuade her with his superficial charm, “You sure? Your friend had a good time…” “N-No, really,” she stuttered while trying to lean away from him, “I was just watching tonight, that’s it.” “I bet I could change your mind if you give me a shot…I know you would make it worth my while.” It was at this point Willam decided he had overheard more than enough and swiftly reemerged from the bathroom to survey the scene. His eyes narrowed as he took in Courtney’s undeniable discomfort and shot a pointed glare in Marco’s direction. Staring down the other man, Willam slipped onto the bed behind Courtney and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. He pressed a reassuring kiss to her cheek and whispered a confident, “I’ll handle this,” into her ear. With a sarcastic smile, he nuzzled against Courtney and bluntly addressed the unwanted man in front of them, “I think we’re done here, right Court?” Before either of the other two could respond, Willam pulled off his wig and and smiled sweetly at the startled man. Courtney almost wanted to laugh at the comical expression that played over his face but she was too overcome by relief that he now wasted no time in leaving. Willam arched a mocking eyebrow at the lightning speed in which Marco redressed himself and innocently asked, “Don’t you want to wash up first?” Blatantly ignoring the two queens, Marco grabbed his remaining belongings and stumbled out into the hallway. Willam rushed off the bed to lock the door after him but hesitated before slowly turning to face Courtney again. Guilt was written all over his face as sat beside Courtney and dropped his shoulders in defeat. Courtney could see the sincerity in his eyes as he softly apologized, “Court…I’m really sorry…I didn’t think he’d be-” “Willam…” Courtney interrupted, “It’s okay, I know you meant well when you asked.” Willam nervously shifted his eyes down to his lap and picked at the glue still stuck to his nails. “Really though…I wanted you to have a good time…I know there’s been something different with you.” He paused to take a deep breath and shakily reached over to place his hand over hers. He drew his gaze back to Courtney’s and firmly told her, “If you want to talk…I’m here. I won’t judge.” Courtney gave a rueful smile and replied, “I know you wouldn’t, Bill.” She leant against him taking in everything from his smell, the light dampness of his skin, the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed…even how she swore she could almost hear his heart beating faster as she buried her face in his neck. He ran his thumb over her hand and waited patiently for a signal on what more he could do. All she wanted at the moment was just to sit with him in silence while she worked up the courage to speak again. Her lip quivered as she swallowed her pride and whispered against his skin, “I really like you.” Her head began to cloud as she felt a twitch in his hand and heard the halting confusion in his voice when he responded back, “I like you too, Court.” A broken laugh escaped her as she pulled away to face him. He really doesn’t get it. Tears were beginning to sting her eyes but she wiped them away and plastered on a remorseful smile. “No, I mean I-” She cut herself off as they locked eyes and suddenly found that any remnant of confidence she once held had now escaped with a single look from him. His eyes showed genuine concern for her but also revealed how he was struggling to grasp what she was trying to confess. She felt so vulnerable and helpless around him and she hated that. Words had always come so easily to her before but he managed to take all of that away without realizing it. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she cupped his face with her free hand desperately prayed to any deity listening that he would finally understand. A voice she hardly recognized as her own cracked as she whispered, “Bill…I like you.” His eyes darted across her face and she saw the gears in his head had finally started turning. A wave of realization noticeably passed over his face and she never felt more relieved or scared as when she saw him coming to terms with what she had just told him. A deep blush rose to his cheeks as he stared at her dumbstruck. The longer he remained silent, the more she felt her resolve shrink away until there was nothing left. It was obvious he didn’t feel the same and was trying to think of a way to let her down easy. She felt so stupid for trying; she should have just kept it to herself like she had before. She bolted off the bed as tears welled up in her eyes and threatened to spill over any second. She knew she wouldn’t be able to handle his sympathy if he saw. “Shane!” She stopped dead in her tracks as she felt her hand being engulfed by his. It felt like her heart stopped beating as she was spun around and pulled into Willam’s arms. He held her tightly as though she were the last lifeline he had before falling into the abyss. The tears finally escaped as he asked her, “You mean it?” Courtney stared at him incredulously before laughing out, “Yes!” She swore she had never seen a smile brighter than the one he gave her as he warned, “I’m really not the smartest choice, you know.” “That’s okay,” she replied as he delicately wiped her cheeks free of tears, “Neither am I.”