#while i listen to this again
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someone on twitter said Imagine what s2 jayce would give to talk to s1 viktor just one more time. and someone had a time travel alternate dimension fic ready to go. and i read it. and now my face is being eaten by 3750 feral dogs i think
#thisss wass going to be just one little sketch lord help me#the guys you put on this earth to finish their psych degrees are drawing pathetic men again#jayvik#arcane#viktor arcane#jayce talis#my art#fanart#i have uni and work and also therapy to do but i got sick this week so i think i read like. over 30 fics yesterday like i was struck#by some affliction legitimately#please talk with me about them. this is a cry for help#i drew all these while listening to circa survive on repeat do you understand what that does to a man
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・・- --- --・-・ ・- ・-・ --・-- --・-- / --・-- --・ ・-・・ ・・ ・・-・・ ・・-
#just you wait when i have the time i'm gonna completely decode the inner spread#while i listen to this again#and again#and again~#the way they incorporated morse code into 'SE' from the 絶体絶命 tour (i.e. yesterday's premiere) was SO COOL#as was the opening to 学芸会#the footsteps in G行為#the instrumental solos during π !!!#ohhhhh i could keep going 😤#this album & live both carry a certain heaviness & intensity distinct from their other work/performances#really goes straight to the root of your emotions & tugs with full force#before my very first listen through of the album i'd heard a lot of these songs as stand alones#but i can vividly remember where i was & what i was doing for each one#狭心症 had maybe the strongest impact#i remember sitting in my living room - fresh out of the hospital & feeling so lost & disjointed#but then i heard that song#and stopped in my tracks like what. is this.#it was one of those moments where time stands still & there's an invisible current connecting you to the greater web of existence#and everyone & everything in it#in all of its beauty but also all of its pain#i can't listen to that song without kinda reliving that moment#but i don't think i'd want it any other way#perhaps i'll get into it more another day but yeah as an album 絶体絶命 makes me feel so so much#i feel beyond lucky to have seen that live tour footage & to have this on vinyl 🥺#also! exciting news abounds!! not only is 舟を編む airing once more but yojiro is starring in a new drama!!!!!! 😈🤯#all of those teasing remarks about shooting something? oh it's all coming together#9/14 let's goooo!!!
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Two doomed men + cat fluff
#doomed by the narrative but if i ignore it hard enough…#tma fanart#art#fanart#jonathan sims#the archivist#gerry keay#the magnus archives#doing tma re listen#back in the fucking building again#the biggest tragedy is that they havent met while alive
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The FNAF Vanessas meet their younger selves..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf vanny#fnaf vanessa#vanessa shelly#vanessa afton#fnaf movie#security breach#fnaf fanart#MORE SCENE VANNY 🩵🩵🩵#also this is a semi sequel to the Mikes ver I made#seeing I think the Vanessas deserve the funny too 😤#I like to think Vanny would tell her younger self white lies#she knows at that age she just wanted to know life would get better for her#seeing teen her was stuck living with her awful father#Vanessa’s life does get hard again as an adult but.. SINCE HW2 I think she’s in a better place#finally stood up to her abuser and all so it does get better#WHILE MOVIE VANESSA …#bit more manic here BAHAH#listen if younger Vanessa loosen screws on her fathers suit#would anyone even know 🙏🏾#she could get away with it-#Movie Vanessa of course would want to prevent things anyway she can#the Afton kids always being a lil crazy is so real
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#p5r#persona 5 protagonist#akechi goro#IM FREEEE IM FREEE IM FREEEEE#IT ONLY TOOK 24 HOURS AND THEN SOME AND 2 MONTHS OF SANITY!!!!!!#im never drawing anything like this again ill be going bsck to 3/4 bust up 0 backgrounds.#persona 5#shuake#ANYWAY. listened to a lot of picture you by chapp3ll roan while drawing this…#and like the correlation isnt there but i think abt all the mutual things….joker bringing rival up twice and akechi being shocked#my art#doodle#doodles#and the way at the end akc thinks that joker wished him back because of pity 😔#do you picture me like i picture you am i in the frame of your point of view…#joker being the only person akc trusts and relies on but is it the same….is it all just pity…..#ANYWAYYYYYYY my sanity! gone! i have to go study for my test now and alllll my hw and honey im home day art
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archivist be upon ye
#relistening to tma again#i think the last time i’ve drawn anything related to it was like may 2020#god it’s been a while#have been listening to the magnus protocol and my god it’s so good#but heres good old jonathan as a treat#the interest has been in deep slumber for the past 4/5 years only periodically coming back to life#i’m very normal about this podcast actually#on other note i also started a taz balance relisten#what’s up with me and revisiting my middle school fixations lately#anyways#if you’re still reading these tags i’m impressed i could never with my abysmal attention span#tma#the magnus archives#the magnus pod#jonathan sims#the archivist#tma jon#fanart#my art#digital art#illustration#doodle
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soukoku as one of my dearest renaissance paintings
#instead of paying attention to the lectures in ap art history i just look at the paintings my teacher puts on the slides#and decide which ones fit my fictional pairings#i wish i remembered this one i think it was by bernini but i'm not 100% :((((((#sighhh i'll go check again if anybody wants the og#i listened to luminary by joel sunny while painting this and the vibes were ethereal i felt like i was ascending#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#nakahara chuuya#chuuya nakahara#soukoku#skk#lotus draws
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they make me physically ill
#never getting over orv#everytime i think i've escaped the clutches i'm dragged back against my will (there's a trail of cheese and i'm but a mouse)#dokja being the unreliablest of narrators is something i'm never getting over#primarily a yoohankim stan but i love the individual ships too#i made this as revenge art because a dear friend of mine hit me with the doksoo feels and i had to return it with joongdok#drew this while listening to “let the world burn” and “would you fall in love with me again” on loop for a decade#omniscient reader's viewpoint#orv#joongdok#kim dokja#yoo joonghyuk#orv kdj#orv yjh#myart#anime fanart#artists on tumblr#digital art#sketches#rkgk#orv fanart
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Stanley Pines is dying.
A good samaritan on the street found his unconscious body and decided to call an ambulance for him. Stan doesn’t remember everything that happened. He just knows that a few days and a multitude of tests later, he was unceremoniously diagnosed with a terminal illness in a random hospital in the middle of Oklahoma. Emphasis on terminal. The doctors tell him that without treatment, he has maybe two weeks to live.
Stan can’t afford treatment, nor the hospital bill he’s sure to be slapped with from his current stay. He sneaks out during the night shift and disappears. It’s one more debt added to the list but it’s not like it’s going to matter once he’s dead anyway. He finds the last place he left his car and spends the rest of the night awake in the backseat, wondering what he should do.
In the end, the conclusion is obvious: he wants to see his family. To say his final goodbyes to them in person. However, this brings a new dilemma. Stan’s family are all in different places. His parents in New Jersey, Shermie in California, and Stanford in Oregon. Stan, currently in Oklahoma, is stuck in the middle and with a decision to make.
He can’t visit them all. As much as he’d like to, Stan has neither the money, the gas, or the time to do so. He’d probably die before he could see all of them. He only has enough energy and resources to make it to one of them; he’ll have to be content with phone calls to the others to say his goodbyes.
When the morning comes, Stan gets into the driver’s seat and starts the engine of the car. He sits there for a moment, just breathing deeply. He has to pick a family member to see in person before he dies, and he doesn’t have a lot time, so he has to choose quickly.
It was never really a question.
He chooses Ford.
AKA a terminally ill Stanley makes his way up to Gravity Falls, Oregon to reunite with his brother. He wants to say his goodbyes and apologies in person before he dies. He’s not happy about dying, but he doesn’t think he has much to live for anyway, so he accepts it. He just wants to make things right between himself and Ford before it happens so he can go without regrets.
Stanford is not expecting his estranged twin to randomly show up looking like he’s literally on death’s door. Nor is he approving of Stanley’s plan to seemingly just lay down and die. Good thing Stan came to him. Now he’s given Ford a chance to do something about it.
All current research and projects get shoved aside as Ford focuses everything he has on a new, single task: take care of Stanley and save his life.
(Amazing addition by tinfoil-jones here)
#Stan unknowingly makes the best choice of his life to visit Ford#because Ford with all his weird spells and research and anomalies can find a way to cure him#and of course they make up and learn to be brothers again#after some yelling and arguing and crying#eventually they hug it out#nothing like a time limit of death to make you get over your issues with your brother am I right#ford’s years long grudge goes right out the window as soon as Stan collapses on him#although he is a bit annoyed bc Stan keeps trying to have these long deep talks with him#and reminisce over old times#interrupting Ford’s very important work of trying to find a cure to save Stan’s life#poor Ford is Stressed™️#trying to be caretaker for his brother and doctor and scientist at the same time#and Stan won’t listen to anything he says about resting and eating and taking it easy#keeps following Ford around trying to bond in his final days#while Ford tries his best to make those days UNfinal#gravity falls#stanford pines#ford pines#stanley pines#stan pines#gravity falls au#tw terminal illness
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i'm still trying to piece together the truth of it. when you left, you said: feel free to spin this narrative however you want. i have no idea if you were being cruel or if you just genuinely don't remember what you've done to me.
it's hard because i'd done so much of the work for you. i had seen the parts that flaked off, the rust underneath. i started separating you into two people - the one i loved, and the one who hurt me. i had this fantasy version of you - my partner - and then i had this stranger, a third person who would show up randomly to shatter me. i am deliriously glad i'm no longer with "the stranger". i miss the gentle (unreal?) "other" you terribly.
at first, i was so strict about my boundaries. i remember telling you to get the fuck out of my house if you were going to talk to me like that. by the end: i would justify your behavior for you, accepting even your mistreatment as "my fault" in the grand scheme. i look back on the person i was before you - smart, independent, confident - and i feel a strange sense of detachment. i don't even recognize me.
even in one of our last conversations, you said: if you want a partner that always talks warmly to you, find someone else. there was a time that a comment like that would have made me leave. and instead, somehow, i just placidly accepted that kind of thing. you were literally telling me that i wasn't allowed to have a reaction to your cruelty - and i just took it, because you'd so fully turned things around on me.
when people are faced with irrationality, a rational brain tries to make sense of it. this is the trap. they're lovely in the morning, gentle and blue-eyed and sweet. like nothing even happened, they breeze around the house and kiss you on the mouth. but at night; who is that? they snap almost randomly; flying into an impotent rage about just-about-anything. it just doesn't make sense. so the problem must be me, and my brain, and how i think.
the traumatized brain just wants peace. so maybe i'm misremembering. maybe you were just having a bad day. maybe it's actually me.
you eventually would fully turn on me and start implying that i am the bad actor in our relationship. that's what happens, right? that's literally in the playbook. you went to therapy for all of a month, told her a half-truth, co-opted therapyspeak. you figured out how to reframe your actions as "seeking peace." any time i stood my ground, i was "gaslighting." when i asked you to be more gentle, you said i was "tone policing." you said, randomly, i had emotionally manipulated you - i still have no idea what that's even specifically referring to. maybe my consistent requests for calmness and empathy?
and while i literally know better, and i'm sitting here, trained by you, thinking: wait, fuck. was i actually the person you made me out to be?
and the thing that scares me is that i literally do not know if you ever actually saw what you were doing to me. when you'd tell me how you remember arguments, you'd always summarize them in a way where you come off as gentle and easy: "i was trying to set an important boundary." what had actually happened was 15 minutes of you shouting at me i know you did something shady, just admit it already. eventually you'd say my reaction to your shouting (when i finally reacted, which usually happened around hour three) was inevitably "disappointing" and "another way i'm silencing your feelings."
how many times did i ask you - beg you - to just take accountability? looking back, i don't think i ever heard you say: you're right. the way i talked to you was wrong of me.
i am trying to tie together the two people into a full version of you in my head. yes, you made my coffee and made me laugh and spent hours on the phone with me. and yes - you would scream at me until i had to run away and hide behind something.
i wish i did have a narrative i could pull out and shape to my whim. i wish i did have some semblance of reality. instead i just stand here, strange and vibrating, wondering: what the fuck just happened?
#spilled ink#warm up#tbh more of a diary than a poem#i need to write this stuff down bc my ptsd likes to forget trauma pretty much WHILE it's happening#and any time i find myself making it ''my fault'' again i have to walk myself through the grounding steps#it's so hard to describe emotional abuse. bc it's so fucking easy to get sucked into#like. you're an empathetic person. so when ur partner comes to you after a nasty fight and is like#“i really was trying to get my feelings heard and you didn't hear me last night” you're like - okay you know what#i'll do the right thing. this is my fault. let me take accountability and try to empathize and talk things out.#with the assumption that later - it'll be ''your turn'' right. you'll be able to bring up the screaming and talk about how#you BOTH need to make a safe space for each other. that you can't listen if your partner is literally shouting at you.#since YOU reflect and grow and try to be a better partner. you assume SHE will be doing the same thing.#but it is never your turn. she will never bring up the screaming. you cannot tell if she LEGIT just doesn't feel culpable.#and when u bring it up. she says ''so i deserved you talking to me badly? <- this doesn't go well.#she says you're blaming her. she doesn't understand that arguments are ''two sides and the truth''. it's that 1 person is right and 1 isn't#so u try to talk it out. get both perspectives heard. but over time it just becomes easier to let her get her rant out and shut up about u#until one day you wake up and despite months of treating you terribly - and admitting it 3 weeks ago!!! - she's now saying...#you were always terrible . you were always the issue. she never got her feelings heard.#meanwhile you remember literally MONTHS of supporting her and listening to her and silencing yourself.#and bc she TRAINED you to accept fault ... you just say sorry. you feel insane. you feel incredibly unhinged.#meanwhile. i fully am the kind of person that will reflect. come back after a fight. apologize before you ask. say things like#“i see your side now and i was wrong about this/that/the other thing.” ...... this is EMOTIONAL MATURITY.#she literally started calling it ''mindgames'' and ''flip flopping." ........#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#<- girl who def was emotionally abused but also doesn't really understand that yet#anyway love u get OUT OF THERE IF YOU RELATE BYE!!!!
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wooof
#my art#fursona#furry#anthro#pokesona#arcanine#pokefur#apparently thats a tag#pokemon#ocs#suggestive#masc#i listened to the american idol defunctland episode again while i drew this#i didnt think id be able to draw today after being sore from overworking myself at the gym yesterday but it actually felt nice#sorry that i just use 'woof' as a description in like at least 50% of my fursona art descriptions r hard
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The musical episode.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jin guangyao#nie mingjue#Remember jin guangyao: If you do any treachery you will face the wrath of five horses.#When are the horses going to come into play? You'll see.#s2.ep8 had beautiful music... I listened to it on loop while drawing!#Good music to chill out to before you fly into a rage.#This episode really cements how JGY's mind works - It is a matter of long-term outcomes at the sake of nearly everything else.#Morals do not matter to him if the outcome is more favourable.#and at the center of it all - he has learned that the only person he can truly trust is himself.#In turn - the only person his actions benefit are himself.#He will do anything and everything it takes to reach a position of power - not just for the power. But because it means safety.#Because it was something he was denied and the idea of not having control in his life again is unforgivable.#'Happiness' isn't a goal. We are looking at someone still stuck at the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.#Everything and everyone is a piece in a game. Bonds and friendships are assets. People are dispensable.#He wants to climb for the sake of climbing. He wants praise and recognition because he feels it is deserved. It's all so hollow.#We could go deeper into his psyche on this.#But these are also tags under a comic in which 'evil penis music' is the punchline.
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FNAF movie Mike and Michael meet their younger selves..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#michael afton#mike schmidt#fnaf movie#fnaf 4#fnaf fanart#I get asked q now and again how Michael would react to his younger self#so finally made it into a full comic + added Mike to it too#Mike would definitely be comforting towards his younger self#I think Mike knows he just needed some validation and good support at that age#his parents seemingly let him believe everything was his fault#so Mike would want to be that parental figure he didn’t have#WHILE MICHAEL#listen Michael wouldn’t be mean to his younger self#he knows he was a problem child BECAUSE his home life sucked#BUT HE WILL be blunt with his lil self BAHAH#just telling young Michael outright if he keep being a jerk he’ll turn purple#idk if lil Michael is understanding what he’s saying but it’ll definitely leave an impression PFF#Michael truly keeps being top tier at talking to the youth BAHAH
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they licensed his ass
my finished piece of the FWMS (official name definitely 100%) thing we started a few days ago! I had fun I hope folks had and/or continue to have fun with the sketch as well.
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhsy#riz gukgak#Fuck With My Sketch#I mean it I'm gonna use that. gotta stop me if u dont wanna#doing things like this is bittersweet bc this slaps and I look at this and Im like well. I will never be able to nail this look again#I guess that's the plight of self taught art. but also it means you have to learn to let go and go look for different delights#you can't get too attached to one way of doing things. you will find many new things on ur way to make more funny bictures n such#this slaps tho Im so happy with how this came out lol. its be a long while since I last drew something in this vein#appropriate that its for riz lol he deserves it. he deserves the photoshoot pieces#funny enough this also kind of was prompted by drawfee? in one of the episodes I was binging (I thiiiink the one bg a day ep)#jacob brought up one of the artists I follow on twitter (havent been there in a decent while lol) who uses a pretty distinct#blue-on-red palette that got me to think abt teal-on-red and then this happened#funny enough I did start the piece with teal-on-red but then I shifted to blue after and was like wait I love this suddenly#and then committed lol. I should work with teal-on-red properly more but for now! we have fun! we enjoy#thats my journey thank u for listening. thank u for drawing with me if u have and come hang next time if u havent
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There is a light, I feel it in me
but only, it seems, when the dark surrounds me
@aroace-get-out-of-my-face do you understand what this post did to my brain chemistry. Do you. You and anon, do you understand. Fuck, man
full comic under the cut!
#The lyrics are from Abbey by Mitski which i was listening to while drawing this#He’s all alone now. He’s different. Did you notice how there’s no white streak in his hair#Because there’s no metal plate#And how his hair is lighter than in canon from grief and stress.#And loneliness#And the kids are so full of light and innocence while Ford can only ever be surrounded by it. But never have it for himself.#Even when it reaches out for him#He doesn’t know that he was never alone#Why did you do this to me#I was DONE making AME art until chapter 10 do you understand this. I had brushed my hands off after the animation#And then#not even a day later. Two??#You throw this at my head. And I pick up my tablet with a sigh. And begin again#One must imagine Sisyphus happy#/j /lh#When you dm-ed me the other day I was giggling cause I KNEW I was working on this#But I didn’t say anything bc this is funnier#Sorry man#my art#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#dipper pines#mabel pines#comic#abandon my eulogy#This was the kind of piece that made me question if I’d ever drawn anything before in my life but it was so worth it#tw grief#tw character death
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happy pride month to all the traumatized yearning butches of the world ❤️
#a tale of crowns#atoc#xelara/xelef#my mcs#art tag 🏷#listened to btr while drawing this…#im not proud of myself#i havent drawn in so long i couldn’t bring myself to color it properly 💔#tumblr ruined the quality once again sigh
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