#while its early anyway..
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hiiii mags ^^ hru? Are you drinking water and making sure to eat :)
Hi :3
I actually have been drinking water and eating lately, I know, even I'm surprised!! Although I do think I'm coming down with something.. lots of pressure in my head and the start of a sore throat 😭😭 It always happens when we get our first snow.....
I've been drawing on and off but I just don't feel like I have enough actually completed to my liking to come back to posting, and I haven't been able to get myself to draw every day either. My goal rn is to get some of the stuff off my list done before I come back to posting so it shouldn't be too much longer but I feel like I've been saying that forever now (and if I'm actually getting sick that's not gonna help.....😭😭)
Thanks for checking in!! It means a lot <3
#super nice to hear from you!!!#I legit was so happy getting this#i will say...#i do have something wonderfully cursed#in its own way..#if you wanna see it before i come back to posting???#for your eyes only 👀#while its early anyway..#its so dumb honestly 😭😭#magsterdragster answers
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early mornings after nightmares
#just realized I made a pinned post with this art before putting it up whyyy am I like this#anyway headcanon time: I like to think they hang out while the sun comes up after the doctor has a nightmare and they just sit and talk#or Donna will read and just keep him company (I love watching the sun rise it’s such a unique feeling! i suck at getting up early tho lol)#Doctor who#fourteenth doctor#donna noble#I need like. A platonic ship name do we have one of those for them?#my art#not super happy with it but ITS DONE#doctor who fanart#the doctor#catherine tate#david tennant#procreate#Digital art#uh#incase my handwriting is as illegible as I think : Donna’s says “worlds best mum” and the Doctor’s says “worlds okayest uncle”#okay this looks more like a sunset so??
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oh boy 2AM !!!!!!
#xmen#xmen comics#magneto#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#i love how i never. put michael xavier#like ok we get it i think we know who we're looking at#snap sketches#BUT HIIIIII it is 2AM !!!!!!#i got some stuff done early tonight and so i wanted to Indulge#after all the love i gave charles recently i had to shift to erik scribbling for a sec mk its only fair#i think the funnier bit is that while i did intend to do these doodlings at SOME point#i originally just wanted to draft a comic but once i realized i was gonna have erik use his powers a lil in it#i reminded myself i still wanted to Properly figure out how i wanted to draw it. and now we're here#first drawin is just cause i really like that outfit. like its criminal its not actually shown anywhere else jlaejkvej#it IS just his black krakoa outfit sleeveless but i dont wanna hear it a sleeveless outfit can be so special#if i were a weaker man id draw this outfit like. any time i drew krakoa-era erik tbh but i am only slightly better than that#anyway im tired now im all drawn out. you can tell i started losing steam by the time i got to the ref sheet vjaelkjela#good night everyone !!!!!
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diversity win! the cars from your childhood are bisexual
#pixar cars#cars#lightning mcqueen#sally carrera#francesco bernoulli#idk what the ship name is but i refer to them as#sally/monty/cesco#😭... lightning sandwich...#should i tag this as my f1 au... technically its for that but like. adds nothing cause theyre early career pre teammates here#anyway sally bags both of them then makes them kiss and fuck while she manspreads on the fujo throne#sorry. sorry i have many thoughts#i hope the person who tagged my other post as challengers for people w mental illness sees this 🙏#jsgdjs monty as having Relevations as we speak#my art
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:) i certainly have no issue dressing in drag :)
^guy who has no issue dressing in drag btw
glenn said that dennis' drag name is victoria von hemen btw
(Source)
#glenn howerton#guy who should get to dress in drag#im just. ill never be over the fact that glenn wrote Two episodes in season 3 that involve dennis doing drag#i know he doesn't really want to write for the show but there's something so special abt how early sunny was an actor's sandbox#esp hearing glenn talk abt how den is like. an outlet for him and a way to play around with shit he would never do for one reason or anothe#my point being that i think its been a while since he was able to utilize dennis again in that way#but 16 was a definite change. especially with dtamhd it feels like dennis is becoming more glenn again. like he was in the early days#theres a pretty good stretch of the show once it got into the double digits that feels like den was. co-opted.#but like i wonder how it feels to explore sexuality and gender via your character#it must be similar to doing that through fandom and OCs but there's a whole other layer to it here#esp when its not Just being presented as comedic as it was in past seasons. like dennis is Actually queer and this is a normal plot point#its not the punchline like den's femininity often is its literally just part of what makes him able to help mac and dee#id argue we've gotten this in the form of. dennis doing dee's makeup and shit. but#anyway. glenn. now that you have two of your former writing assistants in that writers room i hope you get to do drag again 💀#its been 16 years. show us the new and improved victoria.#i honestly can't imagine pitching something like that to a room of people Without some sort of comedic twist but#man.#ada speaks#iasip#it's always sunny in philadelphia#rcg#i won't ever forget the way he lit up talking abt queer dennis jhksvfjhksvdfgjhkds#love u king...... i hope you get something in s17 that you Certainly Don't Mind
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In Time and Stars
#in stars and time#isat#siffrin#josh art tag#been wanting to practice less “literal” drawings....#like people doing a certain thing or being in a certain place or even just standing there#and instead do more like conceptual stuff?? idk how to word it#but i love doing stuff like this#and i feel like i havent done it in a while#i think last time i did was early in the year when i was still really into the Magnus Protocol#and was illustrating lines from each episode#some of which are my best performing art ever lol#i still remember my sibling telling me they had come across my art on their dash and later on their insta explore page#they had apologized since me and my sibs have an agreement to not search for or interact with each other online just for privacys sake#but i found it both funny and kinda insane#was not expecting my art to get big enough to find its way to that sib lol#uuuhhhhh anyway back on topic#ive had this idea of a siffrin illustration where either have their face or the back part of their head being a clock#and i tried a couple drafts in my sketchbook#and ended up liking this one! it had the addition of the shooting star and from then i toyed with the idea of adding the title text#i have another less literal piece for zelda that i wanna do#but i also wanna work on my isat animatic#....and i also wanna play stardew....#i need more hours in the day 😔
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while im doing this i need to say this: the digital lake line from the first episode is absolutely slated to be one of ONLY two options. the first option is that it was a one-off gag and nothing more. this is likely. the second option is also likely imo, that it WILL come back but this is gonna be in either episode 6 or 8- and if its not in those it wont happen at all
#tadc#i shouldnt put all my eggs in one basket of course#but there are reasons for those ep numbers and they revolve around episode pacing#episode 5 has been described as the silly before the storm#and i believvvve in the 2024 fandomcon panel alex rochon? maybe? notes that episode 6 has many things happen in quick succession#and based on the question its a response to. its heavy things#that and pacing wise i could imagine it being part of aa big thing to have smth alluded to early on come into play during#a very heavy episode#episode 8 would make sense for the fact that its the episode before the finale. have smth big happen at a climactic moment and whatnot#9 could also make it serve as a mild bookend#but im less sure on 9 bc while many things happen in a finale different TYPES of things happen in finales#and this doesnt feel like it would quite happen in the last ep#anyway im probably wrong about this and itll be funny if i am so im okay with the idea of this being incorrect#circus discussion
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It's like 11pm. and I'm getting emotional thinking about Athena in Turnabout Academy again.
The first case she's ever taken on as defense, knowing full well Junie's future is at stake, and. she's dealing with this nightmare. Phoenix’s first case? A single afternoon and one Frank later, Larry's off the hook. Apollo's first case? A fake Russian lady and a slipup on Kristoph's behalf, managed in a day. And they were doing this in their mid 20s. But Athena has to not only deal with someone who knows the legal system like the back of his pasty marble hand, but grown ass men who tell her she's in over her head despite the fact she's a dual major. who's rightfully earned her badge at age 18. She's receiving nothing but sexism and ableism left and right despite all she's capable of, even the people who are supposed to be on her side are mocking her and treating her like an idiot for lacking experience. And let's not forget having to essentially provide group therapy and solve the problems of a bunch of high schoolers, at least one of whom was desperately in need of support, while still solving the themisforsaken case entirely within the bounds of the clown show this game calls a legal system. I.
I just love Athena, man.
#ace attorney#ace attorney posting#aa5#turnabout academy#aa456#athena cykes#anyways i should sleep so enjoy my wierd thena ramblings.#im sorry if this makes negative sense im just tired of people clownibg on thena in 5-3.#like its so obvious the game was written ib the early 2010s and 5-3 esp is simultaneously dated as hell while also incredibly resonant to m#thena you were before your time.#why is this game so imperfect i want to sing the praises of my favourite character without having to justify myself.#i want to talk abt turnabout academy so much but i have to provide a 50 minute lecture on the history of shonen anime before i even start.#also in case it isnt obvious im not tryin to discredit nick or polly i just want to point out how absolutely skewed it is.#when you conpare their first cases. to the absolute hell thena has to go through.#can we do some renovations here i think we should have the ceiling replaced with smthin that isnt glass.
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older atreus, baby baldur, & Hel concepts from 2022
#god of war#gow#gowr#god of war ragnarok#god of war 2018#atreus#atreus gow#baldur god of war#baldur gow#ignore the brisingr being on the freya design here it was an early version before i remembered what it is#but also notice i tried to incorporate a bunch of Vanir wear into Baldur. freya trying to give her son some of her culture while she can#its not super well defined in Hel's design but her vitiligo is supposed to loosely follow Kratos' tattoo & thus Deimos' birthmark#hel in mythology being described as having 'blue' skin reminds me#that 'blue' was also an ancient term used to refer to dark skinned people#maybe her face is half blue and half white because she has vitiligo?#and the vitiligo covers half her face because it follows the family mark??????????#idk#i never posted it cus i felt rlly embarrassed bc someone else posted an idea similar to it first LOLLLLL#anyway mullet atreus w/gay little braid supremacy
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i aint one for drinking but im missing dsmp like a motherfucker
#like veeeery specifically the like reaal early shit. a handful of my mutuals i gained from my final days in the fandom when i was like 14/15#in like 2021/2022 and primariliy posting tntduo which uuuuh yeah you see why ive been quieter about being an ex dsmper now huh? but like. i#fucking craving that shit man!! thats like the only time i was like IN a community. like immersed in it!!! people knew my name- i STILL#think about during the tntblr elections where i was @'d and accused of running the election blog due to my engagement with the posts but#lack of public opinion [this was back when i was going as t1ddly_w1nks] but like FUCK MAN!! people knew me!! thats awesome!!!#even outside of that it was like my first active fandom that i was actively engaging and posting in. my kinda ass drawings would get like.#50+ likes consistantly on instagram. and on tumblr i was THE shapeshifter wilbur and thermodynamic tntduo guy IT WAS ME!! i made people cry#with my fucking headcannons dawg it RULED!!! im trying to like. draw dsmp art but because i was SUCH wilbur fanartist its like??? difficult#absolutely no shade to anyone still drawing c!wilbur while not supporting the guy himself since like. i wish i could as someone who was#always fighting the good fight w the differnce between c! and CC! but like......... something in me wont let me without feeling bad since.#the part ive always fixated on.... was wilbur centric AND IT DOESNT HELP THAT THE THING SPARKING THIS IS THETOYBOXS' ERROR DSMP AMV CAUSE#FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK ITS GOOOOOD anyway. ramble over. who knows. you might see some dsmp scribbles in the coming days. or not. anyway bai.#dsmp#dream smp#dsmpblr#dsmp ramble#mcyt#lmanburg
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You can have Ed all
#this was sitting in my drafts long enough#I honestly had it finished ages ago I just never got around to experimenting with some vhs effects till now#I think it came out pretty good way better than the first time I attempted it#anyway here is my proof I am alive in the fandom more fun things hopefully on the way#essentially with this I kind of wanted to highlight the early episodes#where there was a lot of really admirable quiet moments and scenery I just find really beautiful ngl#like the show really does encapsulate the feeling of summer so well#just rewatching it while doing minor fixes made me yearn for warmer weather#I hope I got to effectively highlight that here#for those eagle eyed fans out there yes I have clips from an episode in season 4#I felt they were fitting because I genuinely really liked those silent moments featured in it#felt very season 1 imo so I'll give its inclusion slack on that front#eene#ed edd n eddy#amv#my amvs#my edits#cartoon network#yo la tango#90s
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you ain't ever have to lie to me, i'm everything that i've strived to be! so do i look like him...? i don't look like him! (no text under cut)
i'm predictable. all i do is draw this man suffering during wci. sorry sanji
#I DO not have any commentary on this one.#actually me when i lie#i've had this sitting in my drafts for months#i forgot. i guess i was gonna post it eventually.#never happened. this is from like. late february slash early march i thiiink#i really like it. i think it goes hard#i fw making art ft shadowy figures which are representative of figurative ideas heavy#idk. if anyone knows what im talking about here but a while ago i made art of roger + rayleigh + gaban with kinda the same idea?#and then a matching piece of monster trio#and it was like. for the roger pirates rayleigh and gaban were the focus as the pirate kings right and left hands so roger was in the bg as#a Shadowy Figure#then i made a matching monster trio one where luffy was the primary focus and zoro and sanji were the Shadowy Figures#luca when he has themes in his art (hes cooked)#I CAN ELABORATE. BUUUUT idfk if anyone actually cares other than me. so#come to your own conclusions thats more fun anyway i think#okay tag time good god i yapped#one piece#my art#sanji#black leg sanji#vinsmoke judge#he is in fact technically here if you squint really really hard#i don't actually care about not tagging him if hes barely there#because realistically if you're digging through the vinsmoke judge tag do i have any respect for you? No.#okay i'm half kidding here but fr its so everyone can filter this man out#okay. another joke#i do hate him though i understand why sanji didn't let the vinsmokes die#for thematic and character writing reasons and it makes wci peak and so much more interesting#but lowkey linlin was based for that she should've killed them all ended that bloodline right then and there she cooked i fear#OKAY NOW THAT ONE IS ACTUALLY FULLY A JOKE.
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Golden Hour (+ lineart below cut)
I took a picture of the lines for once and did some basic crappy photo editing on my phone, so you could probably print this out and use it as a coloring page or something if you so wish lol. Do with it what you will.

#honkai star rail#dr ratio#veritas ratio#aventurine#entropyart#aventurine hsr#my hsr art#as you can see i forgor i wanted to draw his glasses til like. last second#i can’t believe it’s been like 2 whole months since I last did a whole like. watercolor illustration#part of that’s been bc I’ve been having a bit of a rough semester bc adhd med issues (which are resolved now)#but I really wanted to draw aventurine and ratio. my boys#i’ve been LOVING penacony so far so I needed to get something nice out#anyway I did this while my s/o and I alternated between reading a 500 pg long history book out lout to each other#it’s called ‘the inheritance of rome’ and kinda covers what happened after the collapse of the western roman empire#and tries to identify and explain all the cultural echoes and reverberations and transformations that rose from its ashes#throughout europe north africa and the middle east. anyway it’s super interesting and I highly recommend it#the late antique period is not something often covered/talked abt in public ed hist classes. at least not when I was goin through em#or the transitory period between it and the early medieval period at least#i still got 150 pages left and a final paper due on it in like 4 days but it’s only a 5 pg minimum and I’m a wordy bitch so#i think i can make it#anyway back to that I go#🦚🦉
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I wish you would write a fic about irreconcilable artistic differences on a movie set between Joe and Nicky.
not really irreconciliable as in not solvable at all but you know i had fun with this
Joe squeezes his eyes shut, covering his face with both hands, and leans forward. His shoulders tremble uncontrollably. He takes a short, sharp breath, and another, and another, but he can’t quite seem to get enough into his lungs. There’s a lump in his throat and a weight in his stomach. He leans forward with a low, wounded sound and–
“Cut,” Nicky says softly. Then, because it takes Joe a second to hear him: “Joe, stop.”
Slowly, Joe raises his head. Wipes at his eyes and takes a few deep breaths to steady himself. Nicky’s already up, frowning ever so slightly as he looks at the camera.
“What is it this time?” Joe manages. His voice is hoarse; he has to clear his throat once or twice. Nicky doesn’t look up. The clock on the nightstand reads 01.34, but Nicky’s changed it a few times over the course of the shoot. He has no clue what time it really is, only that it’s dark outside.
It’s just the two of them in the room. Nicky had wanted to keep this one small, just him and Joe and the camera. The apartment they’re in is nice, if a little empty, though Joe supposes that’s the point. They’re in the bedroom, Joe sitting cross-legged on the bed, shirtless, sheets bunched up over his lap, a phone lying on the nightstand behind him. One entire wall of the room is taken up by a floor-to-ceiling window which lets the moonlight in, though there’s a few low lights set up behind Nicky to send bars of silver light across the bed, because the natural light hadn’t quite been strong enough for the effect Nicky wanted. It’s otherworldly; it’s beautiful.
Nicky still isn’t looking at him, so Joe says again, “What?” It comes out a little harsher than he means it to, but it gets Nicky’s attention.
Nicky runs one hand through his hair. Joe can’t see him well, not with the light behind him and the shadows in the room. “I don’t know,” Nicky says. “It’s missing something.”
Joe has worked with Nicky enough times before. It’s not that he doesn’t like working with him - they’re friends - but he can’t fucking read him, and so after the sixth take of the same scene he can’t help but take it a little personally.
Joe reaches for the bottle of water hidden just under the bed and takes a long drink, mostly to keep himself from snapping. What time is it? “I can try again, but I can’t do this indefinitely, Nicky.”
“I know, I know,” Nicky says, fidgeting again with the camera, “it’s not you, it’s just–”
“What else could it be?” Joe interrupts. He’s not stupid. This scene doesn’t work if he can’t get it right, which means the entire film doesn’t work if he can’t get it right. More than anything else, this one depends on him. No music, no camera movement, no dialogue, nothing but him and the camera. And he wants to do it right, he loves this project almost as much as Nicky does, but there’s a hollow feeling in his chest and he’s spent the last however-many-hours having a near-complete breakdown over and over again and it’s still not right. And Joe doesn’t know what it is he’s doing wrong.
“I don’t know,” Nicky says quietly. Now he is looking at Joe, and Joe can’t tell if he’s disappointed, or angry, or – or what. He’s perfectly expressionless, as always.
Joe loves this job. And he wants to get this right. But it doesn’t mean it’s not one of the hardest things he’s ever had to do, and he’s tired.
“I don’t have much more left in me, Nicky,” he says, and this time he does snap. He wipes at his eyes again, can’t look at Nicky. He’s supposed to be making himself vulnerable, above all in this scene, but suddenly he can’t stand the way Nicky’s looking at him. “Pass me my hoodie.”
“Joe–”
“I can’t. I can’t keep doing this.” He kicks the sheets off and gets tangled trying to do it, grabs his hoodie when Nicky offers it, pulls it over his head in one fluid motion and gets out of there as soon as he can. Thankfully, there’s only Andy and Nile in the other room, Andy lying back on the couch with her feet up and Nile perched on the arm of it. They both look up at Joe as he enters, both look like they’re about to ask, and Joe can’t stand it, can’t be in here a second longer, can’t–
“We are done for the day, I think,” Nicky says behind him, startling Joe. He hadn’t realised Nicky was there.
Andy raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t argue. It’s already the second day of trying to shoot this scene: they’re running the risk of falling behind schedule.
“We’ll find something else to do tomorrow,” Nicky says. “I’ll look over everything tonight. We will try this again on Monday.”
Andy and Nile look at each other. Nile shrugs.
“Get some rest, Joe,” Nicky says.
Joe shoves his hands in his pockets and doesn’t say a word.
–--------------------------------
He doesn’t get called in the next day at all, and he doesn’t interrogate it too closely. Takes the day off, pretty much, because they’ve only really got one scene left to film, and there’s not much more he can do for that. Nicky had wanted to leave it to the last, and Joe had agreed, at the time.
At about nine pm, someone knocks on his hotel room door, which is unusual on a day where they don’t have a night shoot to do. When he opens it, Nicky is on the other side. Joe lets him in without a word.
“I wanted to apologise,” Nicky says, standing in the middle of the room and looking as uncomfortable as Joe’s ever seen him. “For last night. I was pushing you too hard, and I should not have done.”
Joe closes the door behind him. Nicky fidgets with the sleeve of his hoodie.
“Sit down,” Joe says.
Nicky does, settling himself on the edge of Joe’s bed, not quite looking him in the eye. Joe joins him, after a moment.
“At the risk of sounding cliche,” Nicky says, “it’s not you, it’s me.”
Joe laughs, mostly because the phrase sounds so strange coming from Nicky and also because out of everything he’d thought Nicky might say, he hadn’t expected that.
Nicky smiles slightly, too. Then he gets up and heads for the minibar. “Mind if I have a drink?”
Joe shakes his head. Nicky gets out a little bottle of wine, glances at the label, and takes a swig straight from the bottle without bothering to get a glass.
“I can’t seem to get it right,” Nicky says. “You know I wrote almost fifteen different versions of that scene?”
The scene in the script itself is barely a page long. “No,” Joe says.
Nicky nods. Rubs a hand over his face. “I wanted it to feel real. I thought if I could get it right, it would… help, somehow. I don’t know.”
It’s the exact same reason Joe said yes before he even read the script, when the whole thing was just an idea in Nicky’s head, when they were talking about it over drinks at Andy’s and Joe was in love with the idea almost immediately. He knew exactly why Nicky was writing it; he knows, now, exactly why it needs to be right. But at the same time – “I don’t know if that’s possible, Nicky.”
Nicky sighs. “I know.” He crosses back over to sit beside Joe again, takes another drink from the bottle. “But there is something missing, and I cannot seem to find it. And so it does not feel real. And I know this is not easy for you.”
“It’s not,” Joe says plainly.
“But you know,” Nicky continues, “I could not have trusted anyone with this but you. If you had not said yes, I would not have done this.”
That, Joe didn’t know: he knows he’d been Nicky’s first choice, but he’d assumed that’s because they know each other well enough already. But it makes sense: the reason Nicky wrote the script is the same thing they’d bonded over.
Even still, it’s a lot. “I don’t know if I can do it the way you want,” Joe says.
Nicky looks up at him from where he’s been running his fingers over the label on the bottle absentmindedly. “If you want to stop, I can–”
“No,” Joe says quickly. “But I don’t think it’s ever going to be exactly the way you felt.”
Nicky looks away. “It is a lot to ask,” he says. “I know this.”
Joe doesn’t think; just reaches over and takes Nicky’s hand. “I know,” he says. “Trust me.”
Nicky takes a deep breath. Then he nods. "Okay."
#neon answers#materassassino#neon writes#the old guard#kaysanova#DIRECTOR'S COMMENTARY (me): not at ALL a realistic portrayal of anything actually but this is about the vibes#this was originally gonna be a 2 person scene where both of them were actors#but a i dont know shit abt acting ive never done it. i HAVE however been a director all of one time which didnt really relate to this but#its more than 0 experience. anyway i was thinking about the level of trust in that relationship#i.e. joe trusting nicky to let himself be entirely vulnerable on camera like that and trusting that nicky knows what hes looking for#and in this case nicky trusting joe to take care of a story that is heavily based on his own experience#this isnt long because i drafted it at 1am then wrote the rest while ignoring my essay but . nicky cant quite let it go and joe cant manage#to let himself break down completely on camera like that. presumably after this they get it in one take#joe wins several awards and the film does super well. or it doesnt thats not the point#its abt making something to deal with personal experience#the film in question being about rebuilding yourself after moving to a different country with no ties left to where you came from#+ the scene here being a post-phone call/rejection of phone call meltdown in which the loneliness gets to be a bit much#in my head nicky never went through this Specifically but it's more of an externalisation/dramatisation of something that did happen.#anyway you know early tog metas abt joe being the more overtly emotional one and nicky acting as a balancing force bc joe feels stuff for#both of them. or maybe i made that up. anyway thats what this is#ten points if you can work out my Cinematic Influences#they are patently obvious i think
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Might see if i cant do a little reload to the neve/bellara choice in act 3 (??? Or is it late act 2 i fr do not know) just so i can record davrin stopping deirdre from going after bellara bc that scene and the 3 of them in general live rent free in my head and i was paused right after for so long that the recording i thought i saved was just. My paused screen of elgarnan lmao
#dragon age#datv#dragon age the veilguard#datv spoilers#dragon age the veilgaurd spoilers#veilguard spoilers#dragon age davrin#bellara lutare#ship: blight polycule#im sooo obsessed with them btw#immediate post game deirdre sobs into bellaras lap fun fact 🤓#its the first time i think they breakdown in front of everyone#bc they were so worried about bellara#and even though she isnt fine per se#shes back and ALIVE and thats all that matters in the moment#the three of them are just in like. a group hug/cuddle/sob session for a minute#i think davrin finally has a moment where hes like ‘him alive#theyre alive. i didnt need to die holy shit#and while yes he does have that moment in a sense#you cant tell me he wasnt still seeing a world where one of them died#the fights never over and wardens have focused on sacrifice for so long#which is why i find his and deirdres dynamic so interesting in game fun fact#deirdre refuses to die in any way#they WILL survive no matter what its why theyre a warden to begin with#meanwhile davrin is so sure he’ll die#mainly early-ish game but still. hes focused on the sacrifice. on the whatever it takes#hes like. ‘i have to live to do my job but what will i go back to. am i a warden if i dont sacrifice all i am’#anyway. blight polycule my beloved.#this is not a good analysis by any means btw. im half rambling and im worried im gonna have a nosebleed#i love them sm. i a post in the works about how they approach the blight btw
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Trying 2 be so normal rn
#spent a lovely 3 days and then a v heavy last night w him . i cried into his arms and told him all the little worries & none of the#overarching things causing them. i was so afraid that this display of weakness would end everything and when we woke up the goodbye was so#short so i called him on his way back home and told him everything. he seemed to understand but im still scared but at least he has an#honest version of me ig. idk#he is lovely and hes trying to help etc idk if i've ruined everything but yh#anyway met w my friends i havent spent time w them in a while its been nice to listen to them#and look at them . and theyve said nice things#and comforting words. i have to remember that people dont just end up hating you#i was shielding my eyes from sunlight and a few of them put their hands up to shield me more#((hand over hand over hand over hand) and two weeks ago i remember i was walking with two of them and i said that i was cold and they took#their jackets off at the same time. i remember this buzzed but not sober.) i think i suppress the good things as a survival instinct and#I wish my head understood it makes things harder. Requires way too much evidence to believe anything and little evidence to doubt anythin#anyway i like him n i want this to work. im glad i have my friends. im glad he has his#and his space. he has people there and i have them here and im happy he can afford to live how he does#and i have a rly good therapist now and i hope itll help. Ps he looks lovely in my eyeshadow#i like holding my friends hands#the worst case scenario is that it's over. Ill see him around his city and#It might be painful but i'll live. I wont ban myself from all joy.#the best case scenario is that he understands what i said and he feels empathetic towards it and he will do what he can to help#and that he doesnt like me any less for it all. the best case scenario is what he said is the case.#im writing this post over the course of. 57 minutes and 25 seconds rn#one of my friends just had his hands around my shoulders he said its been too long and i agree#Ok im home now gn i have to wake up early tmrw morning#I rly hope its all ok#I hope itll all be ok
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