#while she seems to understand his anxious nature and is patient with him
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atlasthegreatest · 8 months ago
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Treasures of the Heart / Lara Croft x Autistic!Male Reader
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Headcanons about Lara and her younger brother Y/n.
Word count: 1316
A/n: This was requested by an anon. I hope I did your request justice. Enjoy it!
Lara is incredibly patient and supportive when it comes to Y/n’s interests and routines. She takes the time to learn about his special interests, whether it’s ancient artifacts, animals, or gaming, and incorporates them into their playtime.
Lara loves to take Y/n on little adventures, explore the outdoors, or go on scavenger hunts in their backyard. She encourages him to use his unique perspective to find hidden treasures and encourages his curiosity about the world around them.
They often work on creative projects together. Lara enjoys helping Y/n with art or building models. She admires his attention to detail, which mirrors her meticulous nature when it comes to exploring and studying history.
To help soothe Y/n during stressful times, Lara creates calming rituals, like setting up a cozy reading nook where they can read about their favorite adventures together. She uses this time to talk, listen, and bond.
They have regular game nights filled with video games and board games. Lara ensures that the games they play are Y/n’s favorites, making the experience enjoyable and comfortable. She loves to cheer him on and celebrates his victories, big or small.
Lara and Y/n have a special code or signal they use to communicate when Y/n needs a moment of quiet or if he feels overwhelmed. This helps Y/n feel secure knowing that she understands him.
On weekends, they often set out on little “treasure hunts” around the neighborhood, using maps Lara creates to guide Y/n. She makes sure to highlight special landmarks that catch his interest.
Lara supports Y/n’s independence by teaching him life skills in a fun way. She’ll turn cooking into a mini-adventure, making it feel less daunting and more like an exploration.
Lara is always there for hugs when Y/n feels anxious or overwhelmed. She understands the importance of physical comfort and reassurance, often wrapping him in a blanket and watching movies together.
They love visiting museums where Lara can share her knowledge about history and artifacts. She watches how excited Y/n gets when he discovers something he loves and encourages him to ask questions.
— How is their dynamic as siblings? —
Lara is fiercely protective of her younger brother. She always makes sure Y/n feels safe in new environments, whether it’s a bustling crowd or a quiet forest. Her instinct to shield him helps him feel secure and understood.
The siblings have a treasure trove of inside jokes that only they understand. These little quirks strengthen their bond, as they often find humor in everyday situations and share laughter, creating a comfortable space for each other.
While they share a close bond, they also engage in playful sibling rivalry. Whether it’s who can climb the highest in a tree or finish a puzzle first, they challenge each other in fun ways that build their connection and encourage healthy competition.
Lara encourages Y/n’s imaginative play by turning their backyard into a “mission zone,” where they work together to save imaginary creatures or retrieve lost treasures. She helps him create elaborate stories that allow him to express his creativity.
Lara is always ready to listen when Y/n wants to talk about his feelings or thoughts, even if they seem small or silly. She validates his feelings, making him feel heard and understood, which deepens their emotional connection.
They often enjoy quiet time side by side, whether reading books, drawing, or working on separate projects. This comfortable silence allows them to bond without the need for constant conversation, creating a peaceful atmosphere.
When Lara notices Y/n’s interests changing, she actively participates, even if it means stepping outside her comfort zone. Whether it’s learning a new video game or trying out a new hobby, she makes an effort to connect with him.
Lara is Y/n’s biggest cheerleader, always there to encourage him during challenges, whether it’s school-related or personal. Her unwavering belief in his abilities boosts his confidence, helping him take on new challenges.
Lara makes sure to keep Y/n’s comfort items nearby when they go on outings. Whether it’s a favorite toy or a soft blanket, she understands how much these items mean to him and always encourages him to have them handy.
They have a special way of celebrating each other’s achievements, no matter how small. When Y/n learns something new or accomplishes a task, Lara throws a mini celebration, complete with homemade treats or a fun outing.
Lara often uses their adventures as teaching moments, sharing knowledge about nature, history, or survival skills in ways that captivate Y/n’s attention. She makes learning fun and interactive, ensuring he retains the information.
No matter what challenges Y/n faces, Lara stands by him with unconditional support. She reminds him that it’s okay to be different and that his unique perspective is valuable and special.
Together, they plan their adventures, with Lara encouraging Y/n to take the lead in choosing destinations or activities. This empowers him to express his desires and interests, making their outings more meaningful.
Lara initiates emotional check-ins during their day, asking Y/n how he’s feeling or if he needs a break. This practice fosters open communication and helps him feel more in control of his emotions.
They have a scrapbook where they document their adventures, including photos, drawings, and notes. This not only strengthens their bond but also allows Y/n to express himself creatively and revisit cherished memories.
Bonus:
Lara and Y/n have a secret hideout, a cozy nook they’ve created together in a corner of their home or the backyard. This space is decorated with their favorite items, drawings, and artifacts they’ve collected. It serves as their private sanctuary where they can retreat to share dreams, talk about their adventures, or simply enjoy each other’s company away from the world.
Inspired by their adventures, Lara crafts personalized adventure books for Y/n, filled with stories, drawings, and maps of places they’ve explored. Each book is unique to their experiences and includes space for him to add his thoughts or drawings, encouraging creativity and self-expression.
Lara loves to include Y/n in cooking, turning it into a fun activity where they try new recipes. They have themed cooking nights where they prepare meals from different cultures, helping him learn about global traditions while spending quality time together.
Lara introduces mindfulness practices to help Y/n cope with overwhelming situations. They practice deep breathing exercises or nature walks where they focus on the sounds and sights around them, encouraging him to stay grounded and present.
They have a tradition of dedicating one day each month to just the two of them, filled with activities her brother loves. This could be a trip to the zoo, a movie marathon, or a day spent building and creating together, reinforcing their bond and giving them both something to look forward to.
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madsworld15 · 4 months ago
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You Can’t Start a Fire Without a Spark Chapter 5 part 1
Hey everyone! After a couple of months break I am back to writing my Author/Artist AU WIP. This chapter is a Brian chapter.
Also, please don’t hate me for what I’m doing in this chapter. It’s only the first part, but the whole chapter will be very hard on Brian. I needed there to be a setback in the growing bond between the extremely reclusive Justin and selectively reclusive Brian. So, I decided to go hard
sorry not sorry.
Also, it should go without saying
I’m not a medical expert. So, I may make mistakes.
As always shout out to my biggest supporters: @lostcol , @winderlylandchime, and @maryp50
Brian’s chemo was going as well as he could’ve expected. While the nausea was just as bad as it had been this whole time, his internal thoughts helped him keep it at bay. Unfortunately, Jen was not interested in whiling away their time today in silence.
“You seem a million miles away.” Jen commented with a gentle grasp of his hand.
Brian usually stopped people from having any physical contact with him, but the long forgotten child version preened under the loving attention of Jennifer Taylor.
Brian bit the corner of his mouth and debated mentioning what was on his mind, but this was Justin’s mom and so he hesitated.
With a shrug he replied, “My editor wants me to rewrite the three chapters I sent him previously, while also giving him three more by Friday.”
Jennifer studied him, which, naturally, made Brian extremely uncomfortable. He had never liked being perceived any deeper than surface level. Hence why he remained so reclusive. Cancer, of course, gave him the perfect socially acceptable excuse, but Jennifer wasn’t like everyone else.
“I’ll let that obvious half-truth slide as long as you finally tell me what your books are about.” She gave him a wicked grin before drinking a slow sip of ginger ale.
Brian disguised a cough as a chuckle. He hoped his eyes showed just how amused he was by this woman.
“You don’t play fair, Mrs. Taylor.”
“I don’t understand why you are so secretive about your career. If I were a published author I’d be telling everyone.” Jen gave him a smirk and got a nod of agreement from Nurse Kate who was there checking on the two of them.
Brian worried his jaw wondering if he should finally reveal his identity to someone other than his core friend group. Jenn was a patient woman, and so she opened up the magazine that had been sitting on her lap this whole time. Once Nurse Kate left, Brian leaned closer to Jen.
“Fine, I’ll tell you, but you have to promise you won’t tell a soul. And I mean, a soul.” Brian whispered harshly.
Jennifer’s eyes lit up and she made a motion as if to lock her mouth up tight.
Brian, satisfied that she’d keep it quiet, pulled a copy of Street Lamp of Destiny out of his bag. It was a hardcover that he planned to gift to Justin as a congratulations on the success of his show, but he hadn’t found a perfect moment yet. He passed the book over to Jennifer. Then, he sat there silently, anxious to know if she would make the connection.
Jennifer’s hand flew to her mouth and then she looked at Brian. Her eyes said it all. She knew this was the book her son needed to keep his PTSD in check. And Brian had been spending more time with her son. Therefore, even without saying, Brian knew that Jennifer knew why he especially didn’t want her to talk to anyone about this.
“You should tell him. He may surprise you.” She said gently, allowing her hand to grasp his as she handed the book back to him.
Brian was about to respond when Justin showed up. He desperately tried to shove the book back in his bag. Now was definitely not the time to open this particular can of worms with Justin.
“Maybe, someday.” Brian replied.
Justin sat down next to his mom, his eyes darted around as if assessing the level of danger here.
“Maybe someday for what?” Justin gave Brian a pointed look before he leaned over for a kiss exchange with his mom.
“Falling in love,” Brian joked. Jennifer rolled her eyes in response.
“Brian here writes beautiful romance novels and yet says he doesn’t believe in love.” Jennifer explained. “So, I was encouraging him to give love a chance.”
Brian was amazed at how quickly this woman had been able to come up with a plausible conversation which didn’t actually happen.
“So that’s what you write?!” Justin grasped onto the one detail that hadn’t been a lie.
An awkward silence fell between them all. Brian closed his eyes and tried to even out his breaths to prevent the two things his body wanted to do: coughing which would inevitably lead to vomiting. He hated that his whole life was now being dictated by something he couldn’t control.
If Brian was being totally honest with himself he’d been feeling off all day, but like always he pushed through. He wasn’t sure why he’d agreed to help Justin today, putting more strain on his energy levels. If any of the gang had called him he would’ve blown them off. But something about this young man had him doing more than he physically should.
“Brian?” Jen’s voice floated into his thoughts.
Brian took a breath through his nose, calming down the nausea, before he opened one eye and glanced briefly at her.
She continued, “You look extremely pale. Are you okay?” Her hand reached out just as Brian lost the battle against his own body.
Brian couldn’t stop the cough no matter how hard he tried. He barely got his mask off his face and leaned over the basin next to him before his stomach contents started coming up. Unlike other times though, the vomiting wouldn’t stop. Then, he felt liquid on his face and knew his nose had started bleeding.
It was something he often had to deal with thanks to the chemo. His heart sank as the pieces started coming together in his mind. This was supposed to be his second to last treatment, but instead of feeling like the treatment had helped he felt worse than ever before.
He zoned out Justin and Jennifer completely as he willed his stomach to stop convulsing and give him a break. One of them must’ve alerted a nurse because moments later there was a cool washcloth on the back of his neck and a hand was gently rubbing his back.
“Mr. Kinney, do you think you can drink some water?” Nurse Kate asked, her voice kind but not too cheery. She’d learned in the last few months that Brian prickled at such behavior.
Brian turned his upper body from the basin and back into his normal position against the chair. He leaned back, closed his eyes again and subtly shook his head. He couldn’t risk talking yet.
“Brian, you need to drink something. Vomiting makes you dehydrated.” Jen tried to convince him.
Meanwhile, Nurse Kate was back at it, asking questions. “Did you eat anything this morning, Mr. Kinney?”
Still with his eyes closed, Brian took a slow breath and then just as slowly exhaled. Then, he responded.
“Just some dry toast. I’ve been feeling off all day.” Brian licked his lips.
“I think we should have you head over to the main part of the hospital. You’re extremely dehydrated and
” Nurse Kate started, but stopped when Brian started coughing again.
This time his coughs brought up some blood. Fuck. Brian knew Nurse Kate was right, but damned if he was ever going to admit that. Especially not in front of Justin. He finally opened his eyes.
“I’ll try some water.” He finally croaked out.
“Brian you really should be seen by a doctor.” Jen’s voice was tearful and concerned.
Brian sipped his water, ignoring her request. He had almost finished the small bottle when his stomach churned again and he was back over the basin.
If Brian had the strength to pay attention to Justin he would’ve seen the blond slowly decompensating. In fact, not long after Brian vomited for the last time he scrambled from the room without a sound.
“Can you call my doctor?” Brian asked Nurse Kate. “I think
I think I need to be admitted.”
She nodded quietly. As she walked off to page Dr. Stevenson, Brian finally looked back over at Jennifer. That’s when he noticed Justin was gone.
“He started to panic, so he left.” She muttered, her hand grasping his once more in comfort.
“You know what this means. More chemo for me
” Brian mumbled with a sardonic smile.
“You don’t know that. Maybe you just caught something that set you back a bit. I mean you did go to Justin’s show.” Jen shrugged, ever the seeker of silver linings.
“You went too and I don’t see you feeling worse than ever before.” Brian’s mood had soured the minute he realized things had gotten so bad he’d be confined to the hospital until he felt better.
His thoughts turned to Gus. Last time he’d had cancer, Brian hadn’t let Gus ever see him this sick. But this time Gus was older and Brian knew he wouldn’t accept not being able to see his dad for a few weeks.
“You thinking about Gus?” Jen asked, a knowing look in her eyes when he finally gave her his full attention.
“Last time I could hide the less savory parts of my recovery from him. He was only 4. This time
he’s older and he just wants to be with me and I
” Brian couldn’t bring himself to admit defeat, so he stopped.
“You never know. He might surprise you. I mean, Justin keeps surprising me every day. This was the first time he visited me during treatment.” Jen gave him a motherly smile. “You may not realize it, but you did that for him.”
Brian balled up a tissue and tried to stop the blood that was trickling from his nose once more. It wasn’t tapering off this time. Brian was starting to feel a bit lightheaded.
“I haven’t
” Brian paused to catch his breath. “Done anything.”
He breathed heavily a few times, still feeling unable to catch his breath. Just as he felt like his lungs had stopped working, Brian felt someone put an oxygen mask over his face. Once he felt a little better he was able to focus his vision on the person helping him.
“Hey, Dr. Stevenson. Fancy a round of golf?” Brian attempted humor, his voice muffled by the mask.
Dr. Stevenson gave him a somber look and patted Brian’s shoulder as he sat down next to him. “Not today, I’m afraid. You don’t wanna miss your reservation check in time.”
Brian felt Nurse Kate detach the chemo from his port. It was only half complete, but Brian knew they were giving his body a break.
“Hospitals and their stupid rules.” Brian mumbled. He hated admitting defeat, but this time he knew he had to relinquish control.
“As soon as you feel up to it, I will get you in a wheelchair and we’ll take you up to oncology.” Dr. Stevenson ignored Brian’s previous statement.
“Whatever you say doc.” Brian closed his eyes, the nausea threatening to overpower him once more. “Let’s just go. I’m afraid it’s only downhill from here.”
Dr. Stevenson nodded and left to retrieve the necessary wheelchair. Brian took advantage of the reprieve to turn to Jennifer.
“Can you do me a favor?” He tried to lean over and grab his bag, but the oxygen got in his way. Suddenly, Nurse Kate was right there. She tried to hand it to Brian but he shook his head and motioned for her to hand it to Jen.
“What do you need?” Jen opened his bag and waited for instruction.
“The book.” Brian looked at her. “Give it to him.”
Dr. Stevenson returned and with help from him and Nurse Kate Brian transferred to the wheelchair. Jen smiled at him and handed him back his bag sans the book.
“I promise the next time I see him.” Jen squeezed Brian’s hand. “Please keep me updated on how things go.”
Brian nodded and just like that he was whisked away from the chemotherapy treatment room and taken up to the fourth floor where the very serious cancer patients resided.
Once he was checked in, Brian was subjected to multiple pokes as they took some of his blood for testing. Then, Dr. Stevenson came in and informed Brian that once he finished his liquid IV to bring him out of dehydration they would be taking imaging of his lungs to see where he stood with his cancer.
Brian was too exhausted and weak to do more than agree with a small nod.
“I also want to try and get more nutrients in you because it appears you haven’t retained much in days.”
Brian looked at his doctor and croaked, “I thought it was just a bad couple of days.”
His thoughts turned back to the warning Jen had given him about how he might’ve caught something from someone at the gallery showing, but he didn’t have any energy left to talk more. So, he closed his eyes and went to sleep.
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ghostjelliess · 9 months ago
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SinnerĂł fell to the earth as a torrential rain at the very beginning of time, collecting in unwelcomed floods and storming through city gates with all the restlessness of lonely gods. Nearly a millenia later, Masley fell in love with him. He asked her to marry him three times, without once wondering how she could understand an immortal spring like him.
He was kind, mostly, but he was ancient and would forget simple things about the world. He might remember the fall of empires from his distant view, but forget that phones existed at all. They might be walking peacefully hand-in-hand when he would halt to question how engines work or ask where a building was, only to find it had burned down centuries ago. He didn’t have many cosmic answers, so she let him be spring: chaotic, unpredictable, and frustrating. If she missed him while he wandered some mythic realm, she had only to look at the infinite bas reliefs decorating every cathedral. They were hardly a likeness, but he was there, in every public fountain and bill of currency, in statues heralding government houses, around the necks of anxious grandmothers, even tiled into the ancient road leading to the museum. He was in the art she curated, slipping into conversations as naturally as he’d appeared in her life. 
He was more complex than the adoring Shín allowed, regarding his duality as the cornerstone of their civilization. Masley might have had more qualms about what it meant to love such a god, had she been one of them, however, she was not Shín, so instead of worrying about conflicting mortalities, they had fights like any other intercultural couple. Once Mas called him a tired bear and he wasn’t nearly as offended as he ought to have been. Another time, Sinne, covered head to toe in flour, proudly presented a traditional pie that was neither nutty nor delicious, and Mas told him as much. Their worlds held the weights of existing in different ways, and as they grew familiar with who wanted questions asked and who wanted time to be upset, a new pattern began to form. It was beautifully intricate, a mosaic of braids and twists woven between them by Fate or destiny or the stars or Masley and Sinneró themselves. 
Sinneró, bound to his godly province by a people as they waxed and waned, rather than any maps or walls or gods, dreamed of visiting Masley’s neighboring homeland of Biv–of learning everything there was to know about her, so he could make her happy. Though he’d never had to define concepts like emotion, or communicate ideas like love, it made him laugh when she pouted, and it made him happy when she smiled, and it made him mad when she was disappointed or hurt or sad, and that was close enough to how she’d explained love when they’d met at the museum. 
Sinneró happily made room for Masley in his vast expanse of life. He made wedding decisions, met her friends for brunch, messaged her throughout the day, bashfully forgot to pay bills, and sat patiently through her lectures. He was content exploring the depths of their love, but Masley didn’t seem to do the same. She rushed around him, a new tributary desperately defining itself, never revealing its source. Still, Sinneró did not stop to ask how a human could love a chaos like Spring.
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xtrippydragonx · 6 years ago
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This is a Victoria Everglot appreciation post.
In this house, we love and appreciate her.
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messers-moony · 4 years ago
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Accepted | F.H
Paring: Five Hargreeves X Wife!Reader
Summary: Five craves nothing more than to be accepted and loved by his siblings. That doesn’t appear to happen when he time travels back to 2019 after disappearing for seventeen years.
Five had never seen anyone so beautiful before. Even in the apocalypse, she was gorgeous. He knew it wasn’t because they were the only ones left either. She had his heart from the moment they accidentally ended up in the apocalypse together.
Y/n was a normal girl, an ordinary girl. She had no powers, completely powerless. It just so happens she was walking down the sidewalk and brushed shoulders with Five, which brought her with him.
He couldn’t be mad at her. It wasn’t her fault that they had brushed shoulders. He should’ve been more careful. Y/n was a shy and skittish girl. Not very talkative. It took her a week to use her voice after being thrown into the end of the world.
Despite Five’s commonly inpatient nature, he was extremely patient with her. She was all he had now, and he felt completely comfortable with her. It took a year for her to open up to him, to trust him finally.
She told him all about school and what it was like while Five listened intently. He loved listening to her talk about normal kid activities, things he never got to participate in. Y/n promised him once they got back to save the world, no matter how old, they’d do those things together.
The girl had a certain aura around her that just made him smile. After five years, they were inseparable. Five couldn’t imagine life without her. He couldn’t fathom how he lived without her. He could tell her anything and didn’t fear of being judged.
He had been strong for so long, but not he didn’t have to be anymore. He could let loose and be himself, whether it was being playful, cheerful, upset, or angry. He could be him, and that’s all that mattered to him.
At the age of twenty, they decided to date, knowing it’d be a risk but a risk well taken because Five proposed at the age of twenty-five. Obviously, getting married wasn’t really an option. Nevertheless, he always thought of her as Y/n Hargreeves. His pride and joy.
At the age of forty-one, they were both taken into the commission– a job they both loathed. However, in order to get back to their time, it had to be done. Every night after a mission or a long day, Five would snuggle up Y/n’s chest and sob.
It became a daily routine for the next four and a half years. Every night Five would cry. He missed everything and hated everything. He regretted not listening. He hated the killing. He missed his siblings. Y/n would sit and listen while rubbing his back.
She thought for sure that his siblings missed him. Oh, how wrong she was. She found that out when they returned back to their timeline. Both lovers had fallen to the ground back in their thirteen-year-old bodies.
“ Does anyone else see Little Number Five and a little girl, or is that just me? “ A male queried as five people peered at the two.
Y/n and Five both got up from the ground looking down at their attire. Their clothes were ten times too big for them now. Five appeared to look just as young as he did forty-five years ago, and so did Y/n. Five couldn’t help but smile at her gorgeous appearance that he hadn’t seen in years. She was beautiful at all ages, but he was particularly fond of her teenage form, as was she of him.
“ Shit. “ Five muttered as he walked past them, and Y/n followed.
Five led her into the Hargreeves manor. It was a huge house, one that consisted of too many bedrooms and bathrooms for one person. He held her hand tight, and he stood at the end of the table. At the same time, his siblings piled around the table.
“ What’s the date? The exact date. “ Five’s voice was stern as he began making food, “ The 24th. “ A brunette female responded.
“ Of what? “ Five asked, annoyed, “ March. “ She replied again.
“ Good. “ Five said, opening the loaf of bread.
“ Are you gonna introduce us to your lady friend? “ The male from earlier questioned, and Y/n took refuge behind Five.
Five sighed as he pulled her next to him, letting his arm rest upon her waist, “ This, is Y/n Hargreeves. “
“ Hargreeves? Is she dad’s biological child, or was there another child we didn’t know about? “ The big male quizzed, and Five smirked, looking up at his siblings, “ Or perhaps the most obvious conclusion, but you guys aren’t smart enough to see what’s right in front of you. “ Five insulted, which made Y/n lightly hit him.
“ She’s my wife. “ The boy summarized, kissing her cheek, “ Wife?! You guys are thirteen. “ A woman in a blue shirt interjected.
“ Ignore that. What just happened outside? “ A large male queried as Five continued to make his food, “ It’s been 17 years. “
Five scoffed, “ It’s been a lot longer than that. “
Gently Five removed his arm from Y/n’s waist, and spatial jumped behind Luther to grab something. Y/n was hesitant but took a seat on the counter as her husband's siblings stared her down
“ I haven’t missed that. “ The big male murmured, “ Where’d you go? “ Questioned a male in all black.
“ The future. It’s shit, by the way. “ Five replied as he spatial jumped from getting his marshmallows and back to the front of the table, “ Called it! “ The skinny male exclaimed
“ I should’ve listened to the old man. You know, jumping through space is one thing. “ The teen began as he looks through the fridge, “ Jumping through time is a toss of the dice. “
The boy looked up from what he was doing and took his sibling's appearances in, the ones he missed dearly but saw all dead. If you were Y/n, you could see his green eyes glass over. But if you were the Hargreeves siblings, you saw a heartless and cold teenage boy.
“ Nice dress. “ He complimented, “ Oh, well, danke! “ The skinny male exclaimed.
“ Wait, how did you get back? “ Asked the anxious brunette, “ In the end, I had to project our consciousnesses forward into a suspended quantum state version of ourselves that exists across every possible instance of time. “ Five answered.
“ That makes no sense. “ Blurted the black-wearing male, “ Well, it would if you were smarter. “ Five smirked.
“ Five, stop. They’re trying to understand. You probably sound insane. “ Y/n spoke up for the first time since coming back, “ Oh, I like her. “ The skinny male chuckled.
“ I’m Klaus. “ He introduced, “ Pleasure. “ Y/n greeted with a smile.
The strong male looked baffled, “ How long were you two there? “
Y/n sighed, “ Forty-Five years. Give or take. “ Five answered, “ So what are you saying? That you two are 58? “ He questioned again.
“ Our consciences are 58, apparently our bodies are 13 again. “ The teen boy answered, “ Wait, how does that even work? “ Questioned the brunette again.
“ He got the equations wrong. Meaning his math was off, bringing us back into the same bodies we left in. “ Y/n softly explained as Five ate his food.
“ Guess I missed the funeral. “ Five said as he picked up a newspaper on the table, “ How’d you even know about that? “ Asked the large male.
“ What part of the future do you not understand? “ Five barked, “ Heart failure, huh? “
“ Yeah/No. “ Contradicting answers.
“ Nice to see nothings changed. “ Five said, clicking his tongue, walking away.
“ Uh, that’s it? That’s all you have to say? “ Questioned the curly-haired woman asked the boy who was walking away.
“ What else is there to say? It’s the circle of life. “ Five said now out of the room and into the rest of the mansion.
“ Well, that was interesting. “ The big male concluded.
Y/n sighed, “ I’m sorry for him. The past few years for him haven’t been the greatest. Just know he cares about you guys. “
“ I’m Vanya. “ Smiled the anxious brunette, “ And that’s Allison, Luther, and Diego. Klaus interjected earlier. “ Vanya introduced, pointing at each member.
“ Nice to meet you all. I’m going to go find Five. “ Y/n smiled as she walked away.
It took a couple of minutes, but she eventually found what seemed to be like their bedrooms. Only one door was shut, so she knocked hesitantly on it. Sniffles were heard on the other side.
“ Five, it’s me. “ Her voice was serene and quiet, “ Come in. “ His voice was muffled through the door.
Her hand turned the door handle, and she walked inside. Gently she shut the bedroom door and locked it, knowing he hated people seeing him vulnerable. Y/n turned to see him sitting on his bed with his elbows resting on his knees, hands on his face crying.
She knelt in front of him, taking his hands into her own, “ They don’t care. “ Were the first words muttered from his mouth, “ They do care. They’re just confused. “ Y/n replied.
He shook his head and sat on the floor in her embrace, sobbing, “ It’s going to be okay, Five. I’m right here. I’ll always be right here. “ Y/n reassured as she ran her hands through his hair.
She felt a gentle kiss being laid on her shoulder, knowing it was his way of acknowledging what she said. After minutes passed, he had stopped crying and instead fell asleep, right in his lover's arms where he was always accepted.
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wpdarlingpan · 4 years ago
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Hey I just read the yandere Jason's todd and I was thinking about how you said Dami was still looking for his darling/soulmate. What if yan damian found his darling at his Schools art room and she has a service dog? Like she loves painting and I saw on TikTok that a dog can paint to so there is a little set up for her dog and another for her. Can I request a story about this? Hope you are having a good day/night!
Thank you so much for this request! I love the idea.
Y/N= Your Name
Y/L/N= Your Last Name
Y/E/C= your eye color
Warning: Major Fluff
~*~
Damian Wayne had been stopped after school but a group of squealing girls he had not interest in talking to. They all wanted the same thing, his last name and his money. They didn’t understand he had no interest in any of them.
“Damian! want to go get ice cream with me?”
“Damian! will you help me study for the math test?”
“Damian! Will you be my boyfriend?”
All he heard was them just shouting his name, if those insufferable people wanted to talk so badly why couldn’t they even just talk like normal people? But he had to admit even then he wouldn’t give them the time of day. But he knew with his name he had to seem polite even if he wanted to run away, so he decided to combine the two.
“Sorry, I must go. I need to go get something from one of the classrooms.”
A chorus of shouts started up again with every one of them saying they would go with him.
“Alone.” He stressed before quickly walked or more so ran back inside the school building. He heard them rush after him so he quickly darted into the nearest classroom and shut the door behind him, which happened to be the art room.Damian had his back to the door and he heard the footsteps rush past the door in search of him.
“Hello?” He heard, at first he was worried it was another fan girl that one bombard him but when he looked up and stared into beautiful Y/E/C eyes, it felt as if time had stopped. He admired the girl who was standing in front of an easel in the center of the room. She had on a white shirt with denim overall and a pair of converse. But she was covered in paint, blue in her hair, white on her hands, even more colors covered her legs, shoes, face, pants, and even her white shirt.
After he gained some awareness of how it would come across as creepy if he kept staring he looked down to the smaller easel that was on the floor next to her and saw an adorable dog with their own painting in front of them. There was a plastic sheet on the floor so they didn’t get paw prints all over the floor as their paws were covered in purple paint.
“Hello?” The girl questioned again before he looked back up at her and he finally moved from the door, closer to the girl.
“Hi, sorry to barge in like that.” Damian apologized in a apologetic manner.
“Oh! No worries. It just startled me a bit but then I heard all the foot steps pass the door, too which I assume you were running from people.” She spoke very analytically. Damian feel even more in love. She had a dog, she wasn’t squealing, she was very aware, and she was also very adorable as he saw the paint on her.
“You are very clever.” He replied smoothly making her blush to which Damian smirked.
“Thank you.” She spoke shyly. Damian could tell she was rather anxious so he kept talking to try and ease her nerves. Damian knew he wanted her to be his soulmate as the other bats. But he preferred the term beloved.
“May i see your paintings?”
“Sure.” She spoke nervously. Y/N wasn’t too confident as a person do showing her art to someone was very nerves racking, that was why she was there after school so she could finish her painting and not worry about the people around her, also because her teacher said she could try and see if her dog could paint like she saw others do on Tik tok.
Damian walked over to the girl and he dog and stood rather close to her, looking at the painting quite closely as to have ma excuse to stand next to her.
He looked at the painting and saw a silhouette of Gotham at night, he knew this because there was a image of the bat signal painted towards the night sky.
“This is amazing.” Damian complimented making her blush. She really wasn’t blushing because it was Damian Wayne making the comments but just because someone was making the comments in the first place. Damian then crouched down on the side closest to the dog and let the dog sniff his hand before he pet them while he looked at the dogs painting.
“This is a very cute idea, I might have to try this with my dog Titus, whats your dogs name?” He spoke as he looked at the purple paw prints at were on the canvas.
“His name is Padfoot, after the-“
“Harry Potter series? Sirius black right?” Y/N glowed at the thought of him knowing where her dogs name came from. She was really expecting him to be mean like some of the other people at school when they asked her dogs name. They thought the name padfoot was stupid and she should have named her dog like shadow or something based off the dark fur.
Damian saw her change in demeanor and smirked before continuing.
“I love the Harry Potter series.” ïżŒ
“Me too! Well you probably already knew that because of the name but-“
“Hey, it’s fine.” Damian reassured as she started to rant and stumble on her words. Damian loved Y/N’s shyness. It meant he had to worry about a lot less people being in the way. Then he realized he didn’t even know her name yet.
“What’s your name?” He questioned in subtle flirty tone.
“I’m y/n! What’s yours?” She did already know his name but she assumed that he would like to introduce himself. He liked that.
“Wayne, Damian Wayne.” He held out a hand for her to shake and she went to do so before noticing all the paint of her hands.
“Nice to meet you, I’d shake your hand but I’d feel bad getting paint on you.” Damian smiled slightly at her kind nature and proceeded to shake her hand anyway that seemed to fit perfectly in his. He didn’t even hardly pay attention to the white paint that was in his hands.
“It’s alright.” He said as he saw her looking alarmed at the paint on his hands.
Damian wanted to move quickly. He wanted to make her his as soon as possible. So he began another conversation and asked her about her life such as her friends, family, what area of Gotham she lived in, if she was single; to which she blushed brightly at as she replied with a quick yes as she never even held hands with a boy before. Damian was pleased with all the answers, and he felt very protective over her as she told him her address. He had to keep her safe if she was just waking around telling her address to anybody. Of course he wouldn’t be just anybody to her but it didn’t mean that she wouldn’t go telling other people who he knew didn’t deserve it know.
Damian didn’t want to go the route Timothy Drake did. He didn’t want to immediately force her to be his. He wanted something that made him feel the love that he was neglected of for years. He found his beloved and he knew that he had to be gentle in a way. But he could tell she was perfect for him.
She had finished her painting and put it over but the others from class the day and Padfoots had dried so she picked up the small easel and put it in her bag.
“I should probably head home now.” She spoke after she put Padfoot back on his leash and washed most of the paint off his paws. Damian panicked slightly as he didn’t want their time to end but, he also knew he could go home and search up everything he could find on the bat computer.
They walked out to the front together and saw Alfred patiently waiting in the car while reading a book. He looked up and saw Damian walking out alongside Y/N and smiled to himself slightly. He knew the boy deserved love, and it seemed that he had found his.
Y/N was tempted to ask for his number, but she didn’t want to come across as clingy or pushy. She had deeply enjoyed talking to him and she wanted to further.
“Pass me your phone.” Damian said with a slight demanding tone. Y/N did so without hesitation making Damian smirk as he typed in his number and put his name in the contact. He sent a messages to himself after and discreetly changed her contact name to ‘My Beloved ❄’ and handed back her phone.
“There, I texted myself from your phoen so we have each other’s numbers. Text me whenever you want.” Y/N smiled brightly at him making him smile back.
She began to wave goodbye and make the walk back home but he stopped her once he saw her start walking.
“Wait you’re walk home? Alone? But you live so far.”
“Yeah, my parents are always working so they can’t come get me. But it’s okay, I’m used to walking home .” But Damian immediately begins shaking his head. He knew the dangers of being in Gotham as he has seen many first hand. He wouldn’t allow his beloved to be so unprotected.
“I’ll give you a ride home from now on okay?” He spoke decidedly. She began to shake her head no.
“I couldn’t ask to do do that-“
“You didn’t ask, I told you. I’m going to give you a ride home, it’s too dangerous out there by yourself.”
“But I got Padfoot to protect me!” She spoke innocently while holding up the shaggy black dog.
Damian looked at her with a look that left no room for argument.
“Fine
 but just this once.” Y/N said before following him over to the sleek black car.
“Definitely not only once, but believe what you want to believe. I can be quite
 persuasive.”
Damian opened the door for her to get it and he helped her inside before getting in on the other side while Alfred glanced in the mirror every so often.
“Hello. Nice to meet you, what’s your name sir?” She spoke politely looking at Alfred as he looked up in the mirror.
“I’m Alfred Pennyworth. And you are?”
“Y/N L/N.”
“Nice to meet you as well Miss L/N.”
She smiled at him as he saw in the mirror and he slightly smiled back and could already tell she was a kind person. Perfect for Damian and the Wayne family.
Her and Damian talked the whole ride to her house after she gave Alfred her address. Once they arrived Damian tried not to look to disappointed and continued to reassure himself that he would see her the next day for sure. He would also look her up on the bat computer.
They pulled up in front of a nice house that resided in a sketchy area, well all of Gotham was sketchy but Damian remembered one of the warehouse down the street was one of Jokers hold hideouts and he stopped a drug sale a few houses down and not to even mention the-
Before he continue she opened her door and stepped out of the car.
“Thank you for the ride Mr.Pennyworth. Bye Dami!” She said happily as she set Padfoot out of the car as well and made her way into the house. As the door shut behind her he snapped out of his trance of thinking of all the dangers and the fact she already gave him a nickname.
“Beat that Todd.” Damian thought to himself as he was already making more progress in a day than Todd and Grayson had in weeks with their soulmates.
“I presume that’s her Master Wayne?”
“Definitely Pennyworth. She’s My Beloved.”
~*~
I hope you liked it ♡
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noroi1000 · 2 years ago
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My I request a matchup for JJK
Age/Gender /Sexuality: I am at the age of 17. My pronouns are she/her and I am currently bisexual.
Looks : I stand at a height of 5"3 with honey-coloured skin. My hair is black and wavy, extending up to my back, though I often hold it in a ponytail. My eyes are downturned, hazel in colour, with a mole situated just below my right eye. My face is round with a button nose, and my eyes are slightly round top with eye bags due to late-night studying. The side bangs of my hair often cover a portion of my face.
Personality: I am a sun Aquarius and moon scorpio, a kuudere and a slytherin.I have been defined as intelligent and driven, however, I also have a tendency to be obstinate and dislike facing challenges. Additionally, I am somewhat awkward and can have withdrawn emotional tendencies with sudden outbursts of anger. Despite this, I tend to remain calm in situations of chaos and maintain a stoic demeanour, which may give off the impression of being aloof or robotic. Overall, I am introverted and generally collected in my interactions with others. At first glance, I may seem methodical and composed with a logical mindset, and dislike interfering in unnecessary things. However, people who spend more time with me know that I am an intelligent, patient, and kind individual who wholeheartedly devoted myself to my work, family, and friends. While some may not understand my sense of humour, I am also known to be emotional at times, yet good at controlling my feelings. Although I may feel anxious around strangers, my close friends know that I like to joke around and maintain a cheerful demeanour. I am also very loyal, and once we become friends, I will never turn against you no matter what the situation requires. People also call me the mom and smart friend. Though I look impatient, I am really patient and kind with other feelings as they are humans too. 
Likes: Anime, manga, reading, drawing, writing, chocolate, freedom, justice, indoors, hugs, deep conversations, going on walks, food, sleeping, night sky, cooking, stew and hanging with my friends.
Dislikes: injustice, jerks, ego-maniacs, crowds, weak people who take pity on themselves,, liars, war, being alone, see others experience extreme and internal turmoil, and unnecessary casualties 
Type:  I am drawn to individuals with dark hair. While many people may prefer blue or grey eyes, I am partial to warm, green eyes - they are my absolute favourite. The person in question should be capable of displaying maturity when required and taking care of themselves, but should also relish feeling taken care of, as it is endearing. I am looking for someone who will not shy away from standing up for themselves or their loved ones, and who is willing to make sacrifices for the betterment of their loved ones. Furthermore, they should be able to help me loosen up and breathe some life into me. They are the sun to my moon, the yang to my yin. They must have a clear goal in mind and be willing to put in the work to achieve it. In a nutshell, I am not seeking someone who is wholly sweet, but perhaps someone who possesses a caring nature. Someone who is hardheaded, strong-willed, passionate, and determined. Who can understand others and is selfless but also takes time to themself. My love language is physical touch and acts of service.
Thank you for your time.
A/n: Matchups are closed, but here it is for you.
I think your Jujutsu kaisen matchup is
Toji Fushiguro
Even though your personalities may be Little different, I see a connection in you. Especially since your type description is something that describes his in many ways. Black hair, green eyes. He shows maturity, despite the moments when he has uncontrollable frenzy fits. He is an adult, and he can take care of people close to him. Even if it doesn't work out for him.
He can worry about others and also meant well for his family. He was mature enough to start his own life, which only shows that he is independent and able to take care of himself and those who are supposed to be in his life.
Even if it may seem the opposite.
He's not that bad when it comes to his relationship with his family. It's just that his family was terrible and therefore he didn't know the feeling of why he should do anything differently.
This was never shown, however Toji would stand up for someone close to him right away. without hesitation. He can't fight to stand still.
And despite his murderous tendencies, he smiles, jokes. Sometimes his jokes are out of place. But well, what to do...
When he needed money, he worked to get it.
He is stubborn. So much so that you can see right away that he won't let anything go. Although he may try to stay calm, there are things that can easily throw him off balance.
He doesn't show much interest in his surroundings. His facial expression will not change, and he may also act as if he is ignoring others.
He knows he's making mistakes that can't be corrected later. But he never wanted anything terrible to happen. He works hard to get more than looks.
Headcanon:
‱ your meeting is like meeting two strangers. Fleeting glances, a little coldness to people you don't know.
But the more you two ran into each other, the more it started to change.
And in the end you were nice to each other.
‱ His smiles and weird jokes never leave any of your dates. It's just part of the real him.
‱ He hates self-pity. That's why he never told you about his terrible family life. He needed no sympathy or consolation. But he wouldn't complain either if he got it.
Maybe tormenting him by saying how poor he is isn't something he would want, but he doesn't forbid you from cuddling or touching him. Basically, he's getting you to do it.
‱ in your relationship, his ego doesn't fly off the ceiling. And it would never do that. You complement each other, creating an almost perfect balance between you.
‱ When you are patient enough with him, he is not so much. His patience runs out when he's had enough. His limit is set higher when it comes to you.
This man = jealousy.
He needs to be assured from you that you only want him. He's a little possessive and overprotective, but that's just a sign of his devotion to you.
‱ He appreciates that you judge him fairly. Some people might look at him and immediately think he's a gangster.
But when you think of him fairly, he can do nothing but the same for you.
‱ Don't make him repeat his love for you over and over again.
He may sit quietly and be nervous, however, when you sit next to him or stand still and he puts his arm around you, that is his genuine affection for you.
‱ Toji might complain so much about something you want, but he'll do it for you anyway. No matter what it is. You don't even have to convince him, just tell him that you want something. Go somewhere, buy something, do something. Even if he seems dissatisfied, every minute with you makes him enjoy life like never before.
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allthemarrowoflife · 4 years ago
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i have a lot of headcanons about characters becoming teachers after graduating hogwarts. like, it's probably my favourite "after the plot is over and the war is won and they're supposed to go live happily ever after" trope.
give me professor sprout retiring not because she's tired and actually needs to, but because she wants to open the position so neville longbottom can take over. give me him always forgetting to put on his teacher robes and just teaching all day in a too big jumper and a dirt stained overall. him being the deputy headmaster and the head of gryffindor house, so respected as a war hero and a herbology academic that first years get intimidated, only to be greeted before the sorting ceremony by this short and cuddly looking guy with a kind smile and encouraging words to ease their nerves. him giving the best introductory class at the start of term and asking each student about their favourite plant, making everyone feel welcomed and appreciated, letting them know that it's okay to struggle and to come to him for help.
give me harry giving up on becoming an auror because at this point he's done with action and just wants to settle down, so he takes the DADA position. him teaching in flannels and leather jackets and ripped jeans and converses, because he's not used to wizard robes and finds them uncomfortable. unlike neville, the students don't break their awe and nervousness about being taught by The harry potter instantly upon meeting him, because his horrible resting bitch face still makes him seem intimidating and too serious, so the anxious looks and amazed whispers only stop during his first class when he actually starts talking and smiling and joking. him making almost every class be practical, putting music on and pushing the furniture against the wall, because it's best to learn defense on your feet than just by reading the theory from a book. him being the teacher that is focused and gets the work done but makes the students have so much fun while doing it that they all groan when his class is over. him doing his best to help and make the kids feel safe when they come to him about personal problems, offering a piece of chocolate before they leave and saying "eat, you'll feel better".
give me mcgonnagal FINALLY convincing professor binns to cross over to the afterlife and let someone younger and less socially outdated have the position. so susan bones comes and becomes the head of hufflepuff house, makes the history of magic classes interesting, shows the students that it's an extremely important subject that doesn't deserve to be dismissed as "boring" just because someone couldn't do it right. instead of falling asleep by the first ten minutes, the kids spend the whole time on the edge of their seats, attention gripped by her storyteller way of explaining different events. her giving the students freedom to interact with the narrative, encouraging them to raise their hands and share their thoughts, ask questions, give examples, tell their stories or the stories of people they know. her promoting debates about important historical points and socially relevant issues. when it's time to talk about contemporary history and the first and second wizarding wars, give me her inviting friends and acquaintances to tell their own stories.
give me justin finch-fletchley being one of the first ever muggleborn teachers, personally invited by mcgonnagal to take the transfiguration position. him being the complete opposite of what you would expect from someone who teaches such a methodical and complicated subject, with his outgoing and bubbly nature. the students feeling at ease in his class because they know that if they don't understand at first, they can always ask him later and he will patiently explain again. him joking around the classroom to demonstrate the spells, making the students laugh so much their stomachs hurt. him saying that it's okay to not succeed at first, or ever, because in the end what matters is that you tried and your grades don't define you.
the older teachers not being used to having such young colleagues, specially considering they were still students just a few years before, and developing the habit of calling them "the youngsters". in turn, neville, harry, susan and justin taking years to stop feeling weird about calling their former teachers by their first names.
them gossiping with flitwick and trelawney over cups of tea in the teachers room in between classes.
them being introduced to the decades-ongoing betting pool about the students' love lives and getting excited to participate.
them joking with hagrid during lunch at the teachers table.
them actively refusing to turn a blind eye to bullying in the school, overlook prejudiced comments or dismiss the students' mental health, because it's fresh in their minds how harmful that can be.
the students waving at them when they walk by because they're comfortable doing so, knowing they're supposed to respect their teachers, but not fear them.
them respecting their students' learning particularities and disabilities, advocating for squibs to be able to attend hogwarts because most classes don't even require actual casting of spells anyway, it's only a matter of adjusting timetables so they don't have to take those.
harry finally having the peace and quiet he deserves, no more fighting or saving anyone. just a steady life of stressing over teenagers and sipping tea in his office.
neville being the person he needed when he was younger, making sure his students never feel stupid or ridiculed. praising each of their achievements, no matter how small, and reminding then constantly that they're not a disappointment and that he's proud.
susan breaking the image of the softie hufflepuff, being the most serious and strict teacher, second only to mcgonnagal herself. her sense of justice will have her give a student a month of detention for making fun of someone's appearance and everyone knows that if you're caught cheating at her test your marks are fucked.
justin being amazing at teaching one of the hardest magical subjects and shutting up all the blood supremacists who think muggleborns are less capable. he was underestimated for a while into the transfiguration position, the older staff thought his humor and unusual way of teaching would get the students nowhere in such a meticulous class, but they were proven wrong when kids who wouldn't have looked twice at the subject ended up falling in love with it because of him.
just. give me characters becoming young teachers. barely into their twenties having to teach 11 to 17 year olds, and absolutely loving it. being people the students can look up and relate to. bringing a fresher point of view to an environment that usually just seeks to punish kids instead of understanding them. YOUNG TEACHERS AT HOGWARTS. PLEASE AND THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK.
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xiaojusaur · 4 years ago
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7 Minutes in Heaven
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Pairing: Friends to Lovers! Hendery x Reader
Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, Comedy
Warnings: car sex, fingering, squirting, dirty talking, multiple orgasms, mentions of masturbation, mentions of alcohol consumption.
Word Count: 6K
Description: Hendery was the new guy in class who didn’t know how to talk English well, that’s how you first start talking and then became good friends. You had a crush on him, but he didn’t know. Everything changed at a frat party; you shouldn’t have played 7 minutes in heaven with your friend.
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You were accustomed to arrive early to the classroom because there was a certain desk you liked, plus you didn’t like being either too close or too far to the professor. Sometimes you really didn’t feel like paying attention, and today was one of those days.
On the way, you met with your best friend, but you couldn’t enroll in the same classes this semester, so she had to leave quickly.
When you got to the classroom, there was a new face and he was sitting on your favorite place. The shock froze you in place, he hadn’t noticed you were there as he was writing something down on his notebook and his dark mane was covering his face.
You decided to be nice and just sit on the desk on his left. When he was aware of your presence, he turned his head to you, your eyes meeting when you raised your glance. You smiled and he smiled back. He was cute. You both kept quiet until the rest of the classmates and the professor arrived.
“Class! We have a new student with us! Hendery, please say hello!” Your professor introduced the new guy to your right. He waved shyly. “Please be patient with him, he doesn’t know much English. He came all the way from Macau. If you guys see him struggling, please give him a hand,” your professor continued.
So that’s why he was so silent! He seemed so nice and you having a lot of empathy, could feel he was feeling anxious. It must’ve been hard not being able to communicate well.
The class continued and you were distracted with the fact that maybe Hendery couldn’t understand well what was being discussed. He looked so focused, you didn’t dare to interrupt him because maybe he was trying to do his best. So you waited for the class to be over and when he was about to leave, you stopped him.
“Hey, wait a minute!” You whisper-shouted.
He turned around and his face seemed to light up.
“Are you okay? Did you understand the class?” You asked him.
“Yeah, I tried my best,” he shrugged and then giggled.
You giggled with him and then said, “If you ever need help to understand something, just ask me, okay?”
“Alright! Thank you!” He seemed genuinely happy that you were willing to help him.
“Do you know anyone around?” you didn’t want him to be alone.
“Yeah, I have a friend. I will meet him now to get lunch,” he explained.
“That’s good!” You nodded.
“Do you want to join us?” He asked you.
“That’s alright! I’ll meet with my best friend too,” you answered.
“Oh okay, see you later then,” he was about to leave when he remembered he didn’t know your name. “Oh! Wait! What’s your name?”
“Y/N,” you smiled to him one last time before he nodded and left.
The months went on like that. Hendery occasionally came for help, he liked teaming up with your for group projects, and he even invited you to lunch a few times. You liked spending time together and slowly, he merged into your group of friends, bringing his group of friends also.
His English got better and better, he was almost and expert, even though he had a cute accent.
You found yourself having a huge crush on him, but you swore you would never tell him. For you, he was way out of your league, you weren’t his type, and you didn’t even know about his language, though he had tried several times to teach you some words and expressions.
“Hey!” He arrived to your apartment without notice to find you curled up in your sofa watching a movie.
“Hi! What’s up?” You said while checking your phone to see if he had texted you, finding an empty screen.
“So, tonight’s there’s this frat party from the frat house Yangyang is in, do you maybe wanna go?” He then smiled widely, trying to convince you.
“I don’t know... I’m not in the mood for partying today,” you replied while cuddling the cushion.
“Come onnn!” He flopped by your side on the couch, “Lyndsey is gonna be there! She’s gonna stalk me the whole night!” He groaned.
“Well, that’s your own fault! You dicked her down and she got addicted,” you shrugged, laughing at him later.
“Hey! I was in need!” He explained unnecessarily.
“You guys can’t last a week without pussy, that’s sad, you know,” you were mocking him.
“It’s in our nature, what can we do? Plus, how long has it been since you got laid?” He was smirking, trying to make fun of you.
“Shut up,” you pushed him playfully.
“So come on!!!! Let’s go to the frat party!” He started shaking you by the arm.
“Alright! Alright! Ugh! You’re so annoying!” You jumped to your feet and went to your room to change, your quick choice being a pair of jeans, a turtleneck shirt, a bomber college jacket, and some sneakers. You texted your best friend.
Hey! Are you going to that frat party?
Idk... are you?
Dery is making me go. Something about Lyndsey and stuff
Sucks. I can accompany you
Please! It’s possible he finds someone else and leaves me alone there surrounded by strangers
Fine, I’ll throw something on and see you there.
You got out of your room and Hendery was there, laying back on the couch while watching the TV. He looked so cute. You couldn’t believe you had a crush on him and he hadn’t noticed.
“We’re ready to go,” you announced and he looked at you from head to toe and back up. He catcalled you as a joke, “Look at my bestie gooo! She’s gonna seduce some men!”
You rolled your eyes and said, “Let’s go before I change my mind.”
“Fine, let’s go!”
At the party, you met with your best friend while Hendery went with his friends. Everyone was wilding, playing beer pong, dancing, drinking, making out on the corners.
You stayed by your friend’s side, dancing and drinking. Hendery found you in the crowd and started dancing with you too, after all, you were that comfortable with each other. He grabbed your hips and was grinding on you while you followed his hips. When the song finished he said he was gonna get more alcohol while you ran to your best friend again.
“Are you not gonna tell him ever?” She asked you, talking about your huge crush in Hendery.
“I don’t think I will. I mean, we’re okay as we are,” you shrugged. You didn’t want to lose his friendship and you thought that if you told him, everything would turn awkward, so you just decided to keep it to yourself.
As the night went by, people started to get sleepy, some passing out on the couches, others disappeared who knows where. Only a few were still alive and among them were Hendery, your friend, the infamous Lyndsey, and you. Someone had the bright idea of playing 7 minutes in heaven just for the sake of relieving high school memories, so you all sat on the floor in circle. Some random guy looked for an empty bottle that would choose the lucky couples. You were sitting across Hendery, who looked spaced out, probably drunk already and being stalked by Lyndsey. The poor girl’s eyes were shining with high hopes of getting a chance to be alone with Dery again. You were mocking him and he was acting annoyed.
As the game progressed, many random couples got to be locked in the darkness of the closet. Your friend matched with the very hot Jaehyun guy from English class but she didn’t spill anything. While you were teasing her, you heard Hendery’s name along with some noise by his friends. You were about to start mocking him too when you noticed the bottle was pointing at you.
You swear your surroundings froze in time. Your friend’s eyes widened because she knew how you felt. Hendery tho, was excited because after all, it was you and he wouldn’t feel so awkward.
“Aren’t you going?” Said the guy who had the control of spinning the bottle, Lyndsey looked at you and then to Hendery, expecting you to not go. Hendery actually helped you to stand up and basically dragged you into the closet with him. Before locking the door, the guy with the timer said, “Whatever you do, you have 7 minutes. Nothing more,” and with that, he left you two alone in the darkness of the closet.
You were holding into Hendery’s arms, maybe to know he was there, maybe as a support, or perhaps because you wanted to feel him close.
“Well, at least I’m saved from Lyndsey,” he laughed nervously.
“Yup, once again, I am your savior,” you remarked.
Being alone with Hendery wasn’t awkward usually, but there was some weird tension going on in the tiny space of the closet.
“What should we do?” He asked in a whisper, the air emitting from his lips blowing you right on the face because he was too close.
“I don’t know... talk? We’re friends, this isn’t weird,” you tried to convince yourself.
“I mean... yeah...”
“These had been the longest seven minutes of my life,” you stated.
“Let’s kiss, maybe that would make it less awkward and the time will go faster,” Hendery suggested and you swear the butterflies in your stomach made a tornado.
“You think kissing between friends is less awkward?” You asked confused.
“Well yeah, I mean, we’re friends. It shouldn’t be weird, it’s only a kiss,” he said, ignorant of your feelings for him.
“Okay then,” you agreed, “but let’s not allow this to make us awkward after, alright?”
“Promise,” he gave you his pinky to hook with yours.
In less than a second, his lips crashed on yours. You thought it was just gonna be a peck, but then he started moving his lips, and automatically, yours responded. His tongue darted between your lips, looking for yours to tangle with. Your arms snaked around his neck, while his wrapped around your waist, bringing you even more closer. Having him like this sparked the feeling inside you more: you were in love with this guy without remedy.
When you two were getting comfortable with it, you heard the alarm outside, indicating time was up. You detangled from each other, fixing your hair and your clothes to make it seem that nothing had happened. Everyone knew you two were best friends and to give the tiniest hint that you had done anything in there would be enough for your group of friends to start teasing you. When the door opened, you went on with your normal friendship and acted as if you haven’t kissed passionately a few minutes ago.
You were too overwhelmed, so you decided to leave with your friend. Hendery stayed. He was probably gonna crash in with the boys.
On the way back, your friend was telling you about her experience with Jaehyun, and then she remembered your time with Hendery.
“Did anything happen in there? You two looked pretty normal to me,” she inquired.
“Well... we kissed,” you shrugged.
“I knew it -wait what?!” She was shocked! “You kissed? As in a peck or-?”
“As in full tongue,” you nodded.
“Oh my God...... how do you feel?” She was concerned now.
“Like I’m in love... I feel like as soon as his lips touched mine, I was done, I completely fell in love with him,” you confessed.
“Oh no.... what you gonna do now?” She asked.
“Try to not be awkward and act as if it was nothing. Friends can kiss right?” You fake-smiled.
“No they cannot! Friends with benefits do... but I don’t think you’re there yet,” she scratched her neck.
“I’m fucked aren’t I?”
“Very...”
You tried avoiding Hendery until you felt better and collected your thoughts, but that was kinda impossible since he was everywhere and he looked for you everyday. So you did your best to not looked like you were having a turmoil of feelings every time you saw his stupid, beautiful face.
There you were, having lunch all together. He was talking about how he wanted to talk to a cute girl who was a few tables away. Your friend placed her hand on top of yours in silent support.
Honestly, you didn’t know what was up with you. He usually talked to you about his affairs with other females and you weren’t this affected, but today you were bothered by it. While his friends celebrated that he was going to get her number, you stood up and left with the excuse of having to study because of a test. Your friend followed you.
“I think you need to talk to him,” she suggested.
“I don’t know. I feel is going to be useless,” you grunted.
“Y/N, it has gotten to a point where you’re always fuming. He will start noticing your behavior soon if you keep this up, so my advice is that you two sit down and talk this out,” she stepped in front of you.
“There’s nothing to talk about! He doesn’t feel the same way I do. I’m the one trying to ruin our friendship,” you said as you threw your hands in the air in frustration.
“First of all, you don’t know that. Second of all, if you keep bottling it, you’re gonna explode and it’s going to be worse. And that’s not ruining a friendship, it’s only natural you like him. You spend time together, he knows you well, he brings you snacks...” Your friend was trying to talk reason back to you.
You whined, “But how am I supposed to tell him? I can’t just sit him down and tell him, ‘Listen, I have this huge crush on you, please love me back’, he’s a guy, he won’t understand.”
“Well, if he feels the same way he WILL understand,” she said matter-of-factly.
“That isn’t helping! Ughhh! I need to plan something... something that looks casual but it’s the right moment, you know what I mean?”
“How about... how about you invite him to watch a movie? That’s something you guys do often, right?” She suggested and you nodded. “You watch a movie, you have your snacks, you cuddle as you always do, and then you tell him. What do you think?” She wiggled her eyebrows and you laughed.
You gasped, “How do you know we cuddle? Are you spying on me?!”
“Come on, let’s be realistic. You two look like cuddly people,” she rolled her eyes.
“Yeah true... your plan sounds good. Imma try it. You’re the best! I don’t know how my life would be without you,” you embraced your friend in gratitude.
At night, you texted Hendery to start with your plan:
Hey, dumbhead
Sup, headache
Do you have plans on Friday night?
Not yet, äžș什äčˆïŒŸ(weishenme - Why)
Why are you texting me in Chinese?! You know I don’t understand! I mean, I’m deducing that means why.
đŸ€ȘđŸ€ȘđŸ€Ș
Anyways! What do you think if we watch that new movie on Netflix?
Sure, I’ll bring snacks
Kay
ć„œïŒ
Now that you had everything planned, you started thinking about what to say and how to say it. You couldn’t just shoot it.
A few hours later, when you were about to go to sleep, you received another text from Hendery. It said it had an image attached. It was strange but you decided to open it. And then regretted it.
Hendery had sent you a spicy picture. It wasn’t a nude but it was pretty suggestive. He was holding his member over his pants, as if to show how big he is without actually showing. Almost a dick pic.
You panicked, you were sure that wasn’t for you. A sudden jealousy took over you because, why was he sending these pics to someone else? But also, your friend-self told you to keep calm and let him know.
Wrong number! Dumbass! Look at the number before sending these kind of things!
He didn’t answer for a while, but then he appeared
I’m sorry!!! Oh God! I’m so embarrassed!
It’s all good. At least you’re not showing anything. My eyes aren’t bleeding yet!
I’m really sorry!
It’s okay! We’re friends...
And you left him with that.
Friday arrived and you were nervous already, waiting for Hendery in your apartment. Around 8PM he knocked on your door and you yelled “Come in!” Too lazy to get up from the couch. He looked comfy but so sexy at the same time.
Hendery brought a lot of snacks and placed them on the low table.
“I brought your favorites and mines, to fix your day!” He said excitedly.
You smiled and replied, “Thanks! I really appreciate it.”
“Let’s get to it!” He yelled and you shushed him laughing, he was so noisy and your neighbors would complain.
You were cuddled up with each other while watching the movie. You were leaning on his chest while he played with your hair with one hand and ate popcorn with the other. You felt his eyes on you, so you looked up and your eyes met. He smiled to you and you smiled back. You didn’t know if it was your imagination but you felt he was getting closer to your mouth. In your panic you didn’t move and opted to let it happen, maybe this was a sign that he liked you back. But then, his lips never touched yours and only centimeters away he said, “Haha, gotcha,” with a groggy voice.
You got angry and couldn’t conceal it anymore. So you got off the couch as quickly as possible.
“What’s wrong?” He asked confused.
The ticking bomb inside you snapped.
“What’s wrong?! You dare to ask me what’s wrong?! Hendery! You just pretended you were going to kiss me and then told me it was a joke!”
“Hey! Calm down! I thought it would be funny! Since you know, we kissed in the game as a joke” His eyes widening in concern.
“So the kiss was a joke to you?” You said crossing your arms tightly.
“I thought it was just a game, it didn’t mean anything,” he explained.
“It did to me!” You blurted, your mouth talking before you could think straight.
He froze and gulped, “What?”
“Nothing,” you turned around and walked to the kitchen.
“Y/N!” He walked behind you, “talk to me! You’re acting really strange lately. You’ve been avoiding me, you get angry about everything... what is wrong? What changed?”
You leaned on the counter, trying to find the correct words. “What changed is...” you gulped and then continued, “My feelings for you, Hendery. That changed.”
He was so puzzled. “I don’t understand...”
“Hendery, I’m in love with you,” you confessed, feeling a relief within you.
You looked at him, his eyes were alarmed, not quite the reaction you were expecting. “I- I- I don’t know what to say...” he stuttered.
“You don’t have to say anything, Hendery...” you muttered.
“I- I’ll be right back...” he walked slowly to the door and left without his things. He didn’t come back.
“Great Y/N, great! You just ruined your friendship,” you said to yourself, running your hands through your hair.
You cleaned your apartment and curled up in your bed, regretting everything you just did.
You two didn’t talk for a week straight, not daring to approach each other. Hendery went to Xiaojun for help because he felt he was losing you and he didn’t want that, but he felt bad for leaving you hanging that night. You were expecting an answer from him, but at that time, he didn’t think you were going to say what you said.
“This is simple, Hendery,” said Xiaojun while cooking something. “How do you feel about her?”
“I don’t know!!!” He whined, pulling his long strands of hair.
“I think you do know, you just don’t want to accept it,” Xiaojun chuckled. “You can be honest with me, you know.”
“Ughhh! Okay,” Hendery groaned. “I think I’m pretty accustomed to her as my best friend that I didn’t think I could actually like her. But now thinking about it well, I feel like my best self when I’m around her. I can be myself and she won’t judge me, she follows my weird behavior, she shares snacks with me...”
“Let me change the question a little bit,” Xiaojun interrupted, “the day of the party, how did you feel when you kissed?”
After thinking about it a little, Hendery answered, “I wanted to keep kissing her. I felt so comfortable in her arms. She’s a great kisser btw,” he drifted away.
“Focus!” Xiaojun yelled.
“Okay, okay! I don’t know, I feel like I would be able to tell if I see her again... but I don’t know how to go back to her,” he sighed.
“How about you do a non-date date, something simple like going for a late night drive,” Xiaojun suggested.
“You’re a genius!” Hendery exclaimed.
“I’m a romantic, which is different,” he pointed out.
It was 12AM on a Friday and you we’re already cuddled in your bed when there was a knock on your door. You threw a hoodie on, to not wear a bra just in case, and went to see who was it.
You felt like the air was punched out of you when you opened the door and saw Hendery’s figure. His hair was disheveled and he was wearing a cream-colored shirt, black joggers, and his glasses: the best look on him. “Hendery...” you said softly.
“Um... hi!” He smiled awkwardly, making him look so cute to you. “Listen, I know we haven’t talked this whole week and I didn’t have the best response to what you said and I’m sorry about that,” he was talking too fast.
“Hey... it’s okay,” you patted him on the arm. “You want to come in?”
“Actually, I came here for you. Do you want to go for a late night drive?” He was swinging, looking pretty nervous.
You sighed, “Do I have to change?”
“Not really, I mean, look at me,” he extended his arms and turned around. You giggled.
“Fine, let me get my shoes,” you ran to your room and put on the first sneakers you found and you both got in his car.
He was just driving around town, both of you being the old friends you were, singing loudly to the songs on the radio, laughing out loud, and watching the neon lights of the places that were open. He got down on a station to buy snacks for both and then kept going.
You ended up on a lonely hill with a view to the city lights. Sitting on the front of his car, you listened to Hendery talked about his life in Macau and what he missed. Then you were playing, trying to guess where were the places among the tiny lights at sight. Like magnets, you cuddled against each other without noticing; the night was getting cold after all. In the chit-chat, the clock marked 3AM. You got in the car again but Hendery didn’t started the car, instead he talked.
“Y/N... I’ve been thinking about what you told me.” There was a long silence between you two, so he continued, “I like the version of me when I’m with you. It’s so easy to not think about what to do or what to say, I can just speak my mind. I really appreciate you.”
“Same here, Dery,” you placed your hand on top of his, which was on his thigh.
“Im sorry for making you feel bad. I really didn’t think straight, I was in utter shock,” he apologized.
“It’s okay, I shouldn’t have said that the way I did,” you accepted.
“So no hard feelings?” He asked, looking at you now.
“No hard feelings,” you smiled.
But then the air changed between you two. A force was drawing you together and neither of you stopped it. Your lips touched, sparking the flame inside you again. And like that, Hendery knew he loved you too, because the butterflies in his stomach wouldn’t stop dancing. His hand traveled to the back of your head, holding you softly. He pulled back first, mumbling, “I’m sorry, is this okay?”
“Only if it’s okay with you,” you whispered.
“I love you,” he muttered before kissing you again, this time deepening the kiss. Your arms quickly wrapped around his neck, bringing him closer. It turned to a passionate make out session and you were gasping for air. You smiled because you were kissing your best friend and Hendery smiled because you looked so cute.
“Should we take this to the backseat?” He suggested with a groggy voice.
“Here? Right now? Really?” You joked.
“I’m sorry! I’m desperate for you,” he shrugged. He jumped first, to lean the seat back for more space. Conveniently he had some sheets there. Then he beckoned you with his hands, inviting you to jump with him. You did as told but your foot got stuck on the front seat so you landed flat over him. You both started laughing at your disgrace but then started kissing wildly again.
He rolled over so you were under him. He fitted perfectly between your legs, as if you were made for him. Quickly, clothes started to be bothersome and he took off your hoodie. Then, Hendery’s hands ran underneath your shirt, reaching your breasts. He squeezed them and then started playing with your hardened nipples, rolling them between his fingers. Soon enough, he asked you, “Can I take this off?” Pulling your shirt. You simply responded, “Please.” He also took off his, revealing his beautiful body and threw both of your shirts to the front seat. One of his hands ran down your body, feeling all of you while he enjoyed your lips. You sighed in satisfaction, feeling yourself getting wetter with every touch and each kiss.
Hendery knew when to start touching you and he asked for your consent, “Can I touch you?”
“Please Dery, I’m so wet already,” you said in a needy whisper.
He groaned in response, his fingers not loosing time in snaking inside your shorts. First he touched you over your underwear and then he slipped inside your panties, finding your clit easily. “Oh my god,” you said in a breathy murmur.
“Fuck... you’re so wet,” he hissed. He took out his hand to pull down your pants and underwear, all in one go, helping you shimmy out of them. After all, none of this was being awkward between you, you felt comfortable with each other. Once he had you all at his mercy, he kissed your neck, his mouth going down and down while his hand went to your south. His lips enclosed your nipple at the same time his fingers got between your folds. God! He was so skilled! Your hand played with his hair while his did unholy thing to you.
He sticked his middle finger in you, going in and out, then he added his ring finger and started moving them fast and deep inside, making you whine. “Fuuuuck! Dery! Feels so good!”
He let go of your nipple with a pop, “You like my fingers, baby? Yeah?” His voice was lower than usual and breathier, it had your head spinning.
“Ooh! Yeah, I love them,” you cried and kissed him. You could hear the squelching sound coming from between your legs. You couldn’t believe Hendery was the one making a mess of you.
You felt your orgasm bubbling inside you, “Hendery I’m gonna cum,” you said in a high-pitched whimper.
“You wanna cum on my fingers? Do you like them that much?” He panted.
“Mmmm! Yes!” You moaned.
“Come on, baby, let go,” he commanded you and started thrusting his fingers faster.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” you said in a shattered chant and then you felt the delicious tingles all over your body, your eyes rolled back, and your back arched. Something unusual happened this time: strands of water gushed out of you and your legs started to shake. You cried loudly loosing all control of your body. Hendery was amazed of what he just did, “Shit! So hot!”
You, on the other hand, were embarrassed. “Oh god... I’m so sorry...” you hid on the crook of his neck.
“It’s okay, that was so hot! I’ve never achieved that. Did you know you could do that?” He caressed your hair in assurance.
“No... it’s the first time that happens...” you whined in embarrassment.
“Baby, it’s okay,” he chuckled, “wanna know something? I’m harder now.”
“Deryyy!” You gasped.
“Can you take it?” He hummed.
“I can take all of you,” you smirked.
“So naughty, I like it,” he pecked your lips and proceeded to kneel in front of you, all bended to avoid smashing his head with the hood. He slipped his pants off easily, along with his briefs, his hardened cock springing free. Your mouth watered at the sight, the tip so pink, shinning with wetness, all ready to take you.
You opened your legs, inviting him, you couldn’t wait for him to be inside you.
He hissed when seeing your still wet core, “Fuck, I could’ve beat that long time ago,” to which you laughed. “Well, you decided to keep boundaries.”
“You’re my best friend, wasn’t it going to be weird?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Maybe?” You shrugged.
“I’m a man, you know. I’m weak. Do you think I didn’t wish to rearrange your insides some of those nights where we cuddled in your couch? It took the best of me to calm this little guy,” he grabbed his length. You burst out laughing.
“Are we really having this conversation when you’re about to wreck me?” You rolled your eyes.
“You started it!” He complaint.
“Oh, shut up and fuck me,” you taunted.
“Condom or no condom?” He asked.
“Wrap your weiner, I don’t know where you have sticked that thing in,” you commanded him.
“I’m clean! I always protect myself, who do you take me for?! I offered myself since I trust you as my best friend, but okay. And don’t call him a thing! He has a name!” he sounded so offended.
“Oh my god! Don’t take it personal! Maybe in the future I’ll let you fuck me raw,” you winked, “but for now, let’s do it this way.”
“Alright,” he said as he looked for his wallet in the pocket of the pants he just discarded. Finding the tiny foil square was fast and he was even faster rolling it down his shaft.
“Come here,” he pulled you closer by your legs, making you laugh. This whole adventure had been a fun ride for both of you.
He kissed you passionately again, one of his hands ran to your leg, bending it a little to have better access to your entrance. He then hold his length, rubbing the tip up and down your pussy, teasing you, making you bite your lip. You were shaking in anticipation.
He pushed himself in slowly, both of you moaning. “Mmm, 操! (cĂ o - Fuck), you’re so tight for me, baby,” his said in a shaky whisper.
He went as deep as he could, making you feel so full. “Hendery,” you breathed, “I feel so full.”
“Yes baby, I’m gonna make you feel so good,” he assured you in hoarse groan.
He kept thrusting you slowly, passionately, enjoying every inch of you. The car was full of shaky breaths, low moans, occasional grunts, and the sound of kisses. Never in your life you thought you would share such an intimate moment with Hendery, but you were loving every second of it.
“Can I go faster?” He asked softly.
“Yes please,” you pleaded.
Hendery caged you in his arms and started snapping his hips faster. His lips whispered filthy praises in your ear, adding up to your want for him, “So good, your cunt feels so warm baby, wanna fill you up with my cum. Do you want that? Yeah? Mmmm... Making love to you feels so nice. I love you, I love you, I love you. This is the only pussy I wanna fuck for the rest of my life.”
Your hands hugged him back, running all his back, tangling in his hair, he had you crazy for him with every word. If you weren’t out of breath, you replied to his words with moans and mewls. “Mmmf! Hendery! Fuck! I love you so fucking much! Please keep fucking me, it feels so good!”
A few minutes later he panted, “I’m gonna cum.” He tried to go faster and he drove his hand south, finding your bundle of nerves skillfully. He was drawing circles while pummeling into you fast, making your second orgasm arrive with force, tightening around him. A sharp scream left your throat and you hugged him tightly. Hendery came with a guttural growl, “Ughhh! So good!” You could feel him pumping in you while he filled the condom.
When you both could breathe again, he embraced you and peppered you with kisses, making you giggle. “How are you feeling, my love?” He smiled.
“I like the sound of that coming from your lips,” you cuddled with him. He sighed, satisfied with the thought that you were his and he was yours.
“Then I will call you that all day just to see you happy,” he kissed you on the forehead.
“You’re my happiness,” you purred.
“I love you, I really do,” he confessed.
“I love you too, Dery,” you raised your head to kiss his lips.
“Do I need to pop the question or are we clear?” He joked.
“Imma torture you and make it pop it,” you chuckled beaten.
“Would you be my girlfriend?” He asked confidently.
“I’d love to,” you replied.
After a moment of silence, Hendery suggested, “Up for round two?”
“Oh my god, you’ll be the death of me if your sex drive is this high,” you sighed.
“My sex drive with you will always be high. Imagine having to hide your boner for so many years and then finally getting the pussy of your dreams?” He was such a character.
“Stop!! That is not true” you shoved him with your elbow.
“Not true?! Do you wanna know how many times I masturbated after arriving home from our movie nights?!” He could be brutally honest sometimes.
“You masturbate?” You wanted to see him snap.
“Listen, Y/N, if I didn’t, my dick would’ve fallen off by now because holy fuck! I wanted to rail you so bad!”
You just exploded in laughs. He really was the man you loved.
“How many rounds can you make?” You asked him.
“I have a whole box of condoms to use with you. You decide,” he shrugged.
“So that’s 3?” You jeered.
“Very funny,” he said sarcastically.
The car kept rocking, the windows were fogged and Hendery almost could last till dawn making love to you. The rest of the night became an orgasm feast for you two.
You fell asleep, beaten thanks to the activities. When you woke up, the sky was painted in pastel colors, announcing dawn. You were wrapped under the sheets, naked with Hendery, on the back of his car.
You looked at him, he looked so cute sleeping soundlessly, you didn’t want to wake him up, but the sun was about to rise and you were away from the city.
“Baby,” you whispered softly.
“Hmm?” He hummed, as if asking what was wrong.
“Baby, I’m cold and the sun is rising,” you explained.
“Mmm... really?” His sleepy voice was making your head spin.
“Yes my love, we should go home. We can continue sleeping at my apartment if you want,” you suggested.
He yawned, “but then I’ll have to make love to you again because I want to be like this with you.”
You giggled, he was so cute talking while sleepy. You kissed his cheek. “We can just get naked and sleep.”
“It’s not the same,” he groaned. Hendery sat and stretched, then, he passed you your clothes.
You guys bought breakfast on the way home, you ate it and then went back to sleep. You spent the majority of the day in bed watching series, glad that you belonged to each other now.
383 notes · View notes
samstree · 4 years ago
Text
and baby makes four (or five)
(mpreg, pre-relationship geraskier, mutual pining, pregnant jaskier, vague mpreg setting, roach is also mom, baby horse, horse trivia, 1.5k, read on ao3) 
Jaskier pets the newborn foal’s still-damp mane and grins to himself. The tiny horse—Little Roachie, he decides—is laying on the ground, surrounded by soft hay and dozing peacefully. He deserves it after the ordeal—well, Jaskier believes it counts as one. The foaling almost gave him heart palpitations, but Geralt says everything went just as planned and both Roach and the baby are safe and sound.
And they are, finally, when the entire day has passed and the moon is high in the sky.
The witcher himself is feeding the mare their last apple. If the doting was bad before, it has definitely gotten worse since she became a mom. It’s not like anyone could fault Geralt, Jaskier reckons. Although the sight of the almighty White Wolf indulging his horse is way too precious, not that Jaskier will ever say it to his face. As much as he loves to see Geralt embarrassed, it might be unwise to upset his friend and get left in the middle of this backwater town in his current conditions.
Jaskier cradles the bump that is his stomach and feels his baby peacefully asleep too. Despite the barn being floored with thick hay, the sitting position is growing uncomfortable with everything weighing down on his midriff, and it won’t be long until his back starts aching again.
The foal jerks in his sleep, and Jaskier completely forgets about himself.
“Shh, it’s all right. Just sleep, darling. You must really need it if you’re so tiny. Look at how tiny you are.” His hand travels down to its leg and then the hoof. The hoof wall feels soft, or at least, less hard than what one would imagine for an adult horse. A soft gasp escapes his lips as his fingers reach the bottom. “Oh, Geralt! Come and see!”
The witcher hums absently as Jaskier picks out the straws and dirt obscuring his view and cradles the newborn foal’s hoof in his palm. There’s a layer of padding covering the sole. It’s 
 kind of spongy, and moist to the touch.
“Fascinating,” Jaskier muses as he pokes and prods the soft tissue, amazed at the weird texture and irregular shapes. When he looks up, Geralt is crouched beside him, leaving Roach to chew on the last of her treat.
“Newborns have those,” he explains.
“Will it hurt him when I touch it?”
“I don’t think so.” Geralt’s gaze falls on the small baby, the corners of his eyes crinkle ever so slightly. “The cushions develop during the last term of pregnancy. It protects the mother from all the kicking, and later during the birth. They’ll wear off as soon as he learns to stand.”
“Wow,” Jaskier croons at the foal, “you are such a gentle baby, aren’t you? Know to protect your mum, huh?”
His arm tightens around his own expanding waistline. The bump has gotten so big in the last few weeks Jaskier still gets taken aback every time he walks in front of a mirror. Looking down on it, the worry that’s been churning in his stomach resurfaces, the dread rising inexplicably. Jaskier hates to admit it, but he’s so, so nervous about what comes after. Sure, he looks forward to meeting his child, but just the thought of pushing a person out of his body is enough to send a shudder down his spine.
Jaskier chews on his lips. The silence hangs in the barn.
It’s Geralt who breaks it first. He sits down next to Jaskier gradually and crosses his legs, making sure the sleeping foal is still in sight.
“All babies are as gentle, Jaskier.” Golden amber eyes meet Jaskier’s, and they are filled with warmth and unvoiced understanding. “You never needed to worry for Roach.”
“But anything could have happened. She’s never had a baby before and we didn’t even notice for so long. The whole thing just 
 came out of nowhere. If something had gone wrong—”
“Nothing did,” Geralt says, more firmly this time. “I wouldn’t have let anything happen to her. I was here to make sure of it.”
Looking at the sincerity on the witcher’s face, Jaskier knows neither of them is talking about Roach anymore, and he can’t resist the upturn of his lips. It is true that Geralt did everything he could for Roach, setting her up at this farm and making sure she’ll be cared for after. Even when the mare got anxious the past two days, Geralt has been nothing but patient with her.
“Besides,” Geralt adds, tilting his head, “She’s strong. She can get through anything for her baby.”
A lump suddenly forms in Jaskier’s throat. His eyes prickle but he won’t let the tears fall. Not again. Even pregnant, it would be too mortifying for him to cry for what must be the one-hundredth time this week, and he won’t let Geralt make fun—
A kick lands on his bladder and oh boy it hurts. Jaskier chokes out a breath and curls into himself. “It seems—ahh, this one is bad—it seems that my baby could use some tips from Little Roachie here.”
“You can’t compare human babies to horses, Jask,” Geralt chuckles but rests his hand over the top of the bump and starts rubbing little circles, soothing the tiny but anxious person within. As always, it does the trick and the kicking gradually calms down. Jaskier isn’t sure if he should be jealous of this apparent superpower of Geralt’s or just glad he’s here. “Also, Little Roachie? Really?”
The warmth of Geralt’s palm is nice, seeping through the thin tunic and into Jaskier’s taut skin underneath. It takes a second for him to respond, “Are you not naming him Roach?”
“Why would I name him Roach?”
“Because you name all your horses Roach?”
“But, Jask, he’s Roach’s baby. It’ll be confusing.”
Jaskier blinks, incredulous.
“That,” he pauses, “is confusing?”
“Yes,” Geralt answers like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
“Six mares in a row having the same name was never a problem, but mother and son is where you draw the line.” Jaskier shakes his head. “Well, I’m glad there is a line somewhere.”
Jaskier lets out a string of giggles, bending backward and almost hitting the wall. When he finally ceases to find the witcher’s logic so amusing, Roach herself has sauntered near them. She’s probably heard her name and also wants in on all the fun.
The mare reaches down and headbutts Jaskier on his chest, almost touching his stomach. Geralt grows tense and ready to block her. It’d be sweet of him if the overprotectiveness isn’t so unnecessary.
“Oh, relax! Roach and I are the bestest of friends now.” Her muzzle touches Jaskier’s palm. “Motherhood has softened her. Look!”
“Hmm.”
He coos to Roach for a while until her attention returns to the once again unnamed foal. Jaskier finds himself completely knackered and ready to turn in. He yawns just in time.
“What a day, huh? Well, I don’t know about you but I could fall asleep in the next five minutes.”
“Oh.”
Geralt stands first to pull Jaskier up with steady hands, the movement so effortless it even makes Jaskier feel less bloated and sluggish.
“Will you—” Jaskier adjusts the hem of his tunic. “Will you stay with me? Like yesterday. It’s—I, um, I’ve been having trouble with all the kicking, as you know, and last night was the first time I got any rest in weeks.”
Geralt stares, his golden amber blown wide.
“You don’t have to, I mean,” Jaskier adds too quickly. “You help. Like just now, and you’ve been helping me for the past few months, even with everything going on with Roach. I don’t want to burden you further, but I just 
 I think the baby likes it a little better when you are there.”
And Jaskier likes it a lot better.
That part he can’t say though.
“Of course,” Geralt says, and a weight Jaskier didn’t know was carrying lifts off of his chest. “If it’s more comfortable for you.”
“Right. It is.”
“And, Jask 
 I know I might be overstepping. The baby is only yours after all.” Geralt swallows nervously, if witchers can get nervous talking to a simple bard. A simple bard who never expected to be pregnant and is terrified. “But if you need me, I can stay with you. Through everything, this 
 and after, as long as you need me.”
The lump returns. Jaskier meets Geralt’s gaze in earnest and all he can see is the devotion, the safety. Because that’s what Geralt is, his best friend and protector. The world may disagree, but Jaskier knows better from walking by his side for so many years, from never having been abandoned despite all the threats. He knows from the way Geralt leads him back inside with a hand on the small of his back and a smile in those amber eyes.
When the baby moves again, Jaskier can’t wait to drag Geralt’s hand over his stomach. Geralt looks awestruck, like he’s watching a miracle unfold before his eyes when it’s no more than a little person reacting to his touch.
“I think,” Jaskier says. “I think we’ll be just fine.”
“Of course. Both of you will.”
And for the first time, Jaskier might start believing it.
---
I leaned that thing about baby horsies in this youtube video. Please feel free to correct me if I got some facts wrong. I love horse trivia! <3 
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masterjedilenawrites · 4 years ago
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hey, could you do a fic on how would the bad batch react to Omega's first period? idk if you've done it already, but i love your writing and you describe the characters really well!
I haven't actually written for Omega yet so I'm excited to dive into this one! Definitely love the single dad energy (x5... because in this house we pretend Crosshair was never left behind and it's the big happy family we all deserve)
Omega & The Bad Batch | 1.3k words
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Omega closed her eyes in an effort to stop the wave of anxiety that rose in her chest. But when she reopened them, she was met with that scary red stain again.
She was so confused. She didn't remember getting hurt. She wasn't in any pain. Where was this blood coming from? And how was she going to get it to stop? She really didn't want to have to tell the team about this. They already worried about her over every little thing. If she could just figure out what was wrong first....
A sudden knock at the refresher door startled her. Her heart raced as she heard Hunter on the other side.
"Omega? You alright in there?"
She could hear the concern in his voice and it made her panic. She quickly flushed the toilet and fumbled with her clothes.
"Uh, yeah... yeah, I'm okay, Hunter... Everything's fine. Almost done!"
Hunter wasn't fooled. He rarely was, much to her annoyance.
"Omega," he said evenly, "if there's something wrong, you need to let me help you."
"Nothing's wrong!" she said quickly, starting to turn in circles, unsure what else to do. She should probably put something down there to stop the bleeding, right? Until she could figure out what else to do about it.
"You're hurt, I can tell..."
She was unrolling a wad of toilet paper and paused as she remembered the Sergeant's heightened senses. There would be no hiding this. But she would have to try anyway.
She unlatched the refresher door, letting it swoosh open to reveal Hunter's hardened gaze looking down at her. She quickly stepped out and started making her way around him toward her bunk, careful to keep the toilet paper out of his eyesight.
"I'm not hurt. See? Everything's fine. Just using the fresher like everyone does. No big deal."
Her scene with Hunter was starting to attract the attention of the others. Tech and Echo peered down the hall from their seats in the cockpit while Crosshair and Wrecker paused their daily weapons cleaning to watch.
"You're hiding... toilet paper," said Crosshair, perceptive as ever.
"And I know you're bleeding," said Hunter. "What did you do?"
Omega paused just below the ladder up to her little room. His comment made her snap. Why was he always assuming she was getting into trouble? It didn't matter that she'd been with them a few years now and had more than proven herself as an equal member of the squad. He was still suspicious and way too over-protective.
"I said I'm fine, Hunter!" she shouted. "Why can't you leave me alone?"
She climbed the ladder as forcefully as she could and threw the little curtain closed. She wasn't sure why she felt so angry, so emotional. It'd been like this for a few days now, where even the smallest things frustrated her, and she hated she couldn't control it. She didn't want any of them to think of her as a child anymore and these emotional outbursts certainly weren't helping. She clutched the toilet paper to her face and cried softly in it, forgetting about her little predicament for the moment.
On the other side of curtain, Hunter had moved to follow her up the ladder with an exasperated call of her name, but Tech stopped him.
"Hunter," he called from the cockpit.
"She's hurt, Tech," Hunter huffed over his shoulder, one hand on a ladder rung. He need only go up one step before reaching eye level with the curtain.
"Yeah," agreed Wrecker, ready to follow after her as well. "We need to help her."
Tech shook his head. "The best way to help her in this case is to understand her."
Hunter and Wrecker paused in their journey to look back at their brother, holding up a holopad in his usual signal of having more information than them. They shared a look before reluctantly changing course to see what Tech had to say. Even Echo and Crosshair were leaning forward in curiosity.
"I started researching after Omega mentioned having pains in her abdomen yesterday. Coupled with her more sensitive emotions lately and the odd blemishes that have appeared on her face, I wondered if it wasn't all connected somehow."
Tech looked between all of them, dragging the explanation out as he always did, delighting in being the one to teach them something. Usually Hunter could ignore his brother's theatrics, but he was already on edge knowing Omega was hurt. He couldn't be so patient now.
"And?" he prompted with an annoyed furrow to his brow.
"There are a few explanations, but your mention of bleeding has confirmed my primary suspicion. Omega has started what is known as her menses."
The others only blinked in response. Tech held back a self-important smirk and continued to explain.
"You are all familiar with the concept of puberty, yes?"
They nodded slowly. Even with their accelerated growth, the clones had still experienced a degree of it.
"Well, with girls, it is accompanied by the start of their menstrual cycle, which is a process by which the body naturally discards the inner lining of the uterus, roughly every twenty-eight rotations. It is ultimately a sign that pregnancy has not occurred."
The air in the small space of the ship immediately became anxious as the others fully processed Tech's words.
"Oh."
"Uh...."
"Hmm."
"Oh my..."
Tech pushed his glassed up matter-of-factly, the only one unbothered by such things. "It's a natural bodily process for most female humans. And it does lead to the other symptoms we've been noticing from Omega. The cramps, the pimples, etc. All a normal part of the process."
"Is that true?"
It was Omega's voice that reached them, and they all turned to see her timidly standing nearby. It was clear she had overheard enough of Tech's lecture so that it wouldn't have to be repeated.
"It really is normal?"
"You know if Tech says so, then it must be true," said Echo with a friendly smile, the first to recover from the awkwardness, mostly to throw in a little jab at Tech.
Hunter found himself feeling guilty. Looking at how shy and scared Omega stood before them, he knew she was going to need their full support in figuring out this strange new part of herself.
"And it's nothing to be worried about," he affirmed, instinctually bending lower to face her, even though she was getting tall enough now where he didn't really need to do that. "I'm sorry I upset you earlier. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
"I know," she said, wiping at her eyes. "And I'm sorry for yelling at you."
"So what do we do about it?" asked Wrecker. "She's just going to be bleeding forever?"
"Of course not," said Tech, his voice edged with annoyance. "Didn't you listen? It's a cycle. It'll run its course over the next several days, and then she'll be fine for about another month. It varies from person to person... In fact... You should probably have a calendar to track it, Omega."
While Tech got up to dig around in a chest of old holopads, Echo leaned over to look at the scans on the ship.
"There's an outpost only one short jump away, near a human-inhabited planet. Surely there will be some special supplies for this sort of thing there."
"And if you still need to blow off steam," said Crosshair, "we can test out that new blaster I got on those old clanker heads."
"Okay," said Omega, perking up with every offer of help from the boys. "I'm also kind of hungry..."
"I got you covered there, kid," winked Wrecker.
Hunter placed his hand on her shoulder. "We've all got you, Omega. We'll figure this out together."
She started tearing up again, only this time it was in relief. What had started as something scary and mysterious and embarrassing, had now turned into a rally of support and love from her team. Her family.
It also seemed like a great opportunity to be spoiled a little... She'd have to work on figuring that part out herself....
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talldarkandroguesome · 2 years ago
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2nd of Rain’s Hand, Sundas
The whole family took a ride through the country side yesterday. It was the first day we could all spend together since returning from the Mabrigash. The girls have had so many lessons. The House truly does wish to keep them on track as though they were any other noble daughters of House Indoril.
The poor dears, they want nothing more than to climb and explore. To spend time with Sildras and Avon and I.
Kuna has been talking back to her tutors a lot. It has been causing them frustration, but it is in her nature to do so. Besides, when I have heard the recounted tales of what she is asking about, they seem like rather reasonable questions to ask in most cases. I know that Dunmer children are raised to listen and to question far less, but I am glad that Kuna is not shy about seeking knowledge.
I think it is likely her confrontational nature that is causing them to take offense. She does not show them the type of deference that they expect. She sees them as older and having information she does not, but she does not treat their words as infallible or their authority as absolute. And she seems to have learned that I will not reprimand her in the way the tutors promise. Perhaps that is not right of me to prevent the tutors from having their expected authority, but I cannot bring myself to scold curiosity and an independent mind. Those skills will be important and useful as Kuna grows.
Cariel, by contrast, seems to be every tutor’s dream pupil. She is very quiet, obedient, and takes everything they say at face value. I wish she would have a little more of her sister’s questioning nature. She only seems to ask when it comes to things she wants elaboration on and her tutors are very happy to indulge such questions.
Sildras continues to be an ideal brother. He has taken to carrying Cariel around and telling her all about things in the house and their purposes. He is so good with her and I am so proud at how patiently he answers her. There are times where he gets annoyed with her asking too many questions when he is trying to do his work, however, and I have to keep reminding him that she is very young and does not understand boundaries or the dangers of his work. That he needs to be firm but gentle with her.
It is a learning experience for them both and when Cariel gets too upset with him for scolding her or refusing to let her help, I try to reassure her that he is not mad at her, he just has to do some things on his own as part of his learning to do it. That even I am not allowed to help him so that she should not get so upset, he would let her help if he could.
The one thing that he is allowed to have her do with him is to look at the stars. He has a telescope sit up in the garden upon the largest stone so that he can view as best as he can the night sky without the interference of light. He is trying to map things as quickly as possible before the trees finish leafing out and obscuring part of his view. He has allowed Cariel to help hold his papers while he translates what he sees onto them. I have told her that she can have his help to make her own version when he is done with his work each night and so he has showed her how to use the telescope in such a way to go between seeing the stars and drawing them upon the paper.
Avon think I am being too carefree allowing Cariel to climb the large rock with Sildras, since he worries about Sildras slipping on the moss in the dark, let alone one as small as Cariel. I have to keep reminding him that Cariel is far more used to scrambling up things than Sildras is and that I always make sure to keep an eye on them out in the garden and that I am always near at hand when they are going up and down the rock.
It does little to alleviate his worries, I know. But I also am anxious about them and trying not to be. I have myself stationed close at hand enough that, should need be, I can flash forward in an instant and protect either of them from danger. I want them to learn to be independent and to gain confidence while being aware of the inherent dangers around them without feeling like I am hovering at their elbow at every waking hour. So I sit near the rock with a book in hand, seemingly not listening to them talk, knowing that their conversations should be their own. I try not to listen closely. But I am keeping an ear and eye out for any signs of things going awry. 
I feel like I am growing strong once more under Luayl’s lessons. I have been sore from the training of late. Using muscles that have not seen use in some time. It feels good. I have missed that sensation. I feel like I am doing something with myself. Let me not forget how good it feels. I always feel best doing things and I should do well to remember that.
Soon my girls will return to Nabine. I know they miss their mother, but I have missed them. And having fewer appointments out of the house is so nice. Tomorrow we take Sildras to look at the in town properties, though we have not told him the purpose behind them. He will be so surprised once he learns. I know how excited and surprised I had been. Besides, getting to take control of your own space and making it your own is exciting.
I must treasure these precious moments while I can.
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mybg3notebook · 4 years ago
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Does Gale love Mystra?
So far in EA, we have been shown that this is complicated to answer: human love is complex as well as the delirious lore of Forgotten Realms. 
Disclaimer Game Version: All these analyses were written up to the game version v4.1.104.3536 (Early access). As long as new content is added, and as long as I have free time for that, I will try to keep updating this information. Written in June 2021.
The number between brackets [] represents the topic-block related to (this post), which gathers as much evidence as I could get.
The narrative is clear until the party scene which, as I stated many times across these posts, it's a scene that feels a bit inconsistent for me (reasonable since it's EA). But if we follow what the game explicitly shows us, we know that if we send Gale to sleep at the beginning of the Weave scene in which he is watching the incantation with the shape of Mystra, he will say: 
Gale: Long days, yes. And long, lonesome nights.
If Tav knows that the incantation on his palm is Mystra, Gale will explain:
Tav: [insight] You don't have that look on your face when you're looking at “no one” / There's more to it than that. The figure I saw: she means something to you. Gale: [...] I can’t quite describe it, the need I sometimes feel to see her – to draw the filaments of fantasy into existence. [...]
Dev's notes: Passionate. [...] He was recalling Mystra as a lover, but doesn’t say that out loud. [...] Narrator: The Weave evaporates, and as it does so, you realise the night feels suddenly cold and lonesome.
This allows us to infer that, at this moment, Gale is feeling alone and probably very anxious with the oppressing feeling of the "orb" in his chest. The tadpole only increased the number of problems he has, so he resorts to seeing Mystra melancholically. We notice later in the Weave Scene that not having Mystra around increases this feeling of loneliness. The whole scene seems to give us the idea that he still loves her. There is yearning and loneliness in his current situation.
After a moment of passionate description of magic, Gale invites Tav to experience the Weave. The Weave has a particular effect on Gale: "The moment feels intimate. You realise the Weave is making you one." Considering how Gale was feeling while conjuring the incantation, this moment touched him deeply (the narrator implies that this feeling is mutual).
If Tav expresses their romantic interests, Gale will be surprised:
Gale: I.. I didn’t think.. Narrator: You perceive quick-fire gusts of embarrassment, trepidation, and finally.. elation Gale: Sorry, I wasn’t expecting
 But it is a pleasant image to be sure! Most pleasant, in fact. Most welcome. Dev's notes: Warm, with real affection.
The narrator is giving us meta-knowledge, we can trust in what she says, and we can see that the situation was truly shocking for Gale. These emotional stages described here made me suspect that Gale is a character who has focused for too long on healing his condition, ignoring any chance for romance. His surprise here may confirm that, in my opinion. He feels embarrassment, a feeling that one can interpret as a sign of the surprise of being thrown into a situation he had not seen beforehand (the death protocol and Gale’s conversations show us that he is a character that thinks ahead). It follows trepidation: fear or anxiety about something that he is going to do or experience. Gale is scared of the possibility. Maybe because he is thinking in the danger he is, maybe because he was already burnt by Mystra's attention and having someone else's attention now makes him feel a bit anxious. And then, the final resolution of the process: elation, which is a feeling of great happiness and excitement about something that has happened. Gale is suddenly excited by the possibility. Something he will be thinking about, many times, for the rest of the EA. 
Tav: So what did you think about what I pictured when we were connected by the Weave? Gale: Oh, I was surprised. But pleasantly so, just like I said. Amid the madness that has befallen us, it seems almost out of place to think of a kiss/ of a romantic walk. And yet... now more than ever, it's important to recall what makes us human. [if Tav is not human] Well- you know what I mean. A stolen glance- that sudden heartbeat... Sometimes the little things are worth more than kingdoms. They promise things to come.
So romance was not something he had even considered until the opportunity arose (this is why he won't pursue a Tav who didn't show romantic interest towards him). I think that, since he is a character always living on the edge of death, he will take this opportunity to feel “human again”: after all, he follows the concept of "living life to the fullest".
During the Loss (see the post of the "Loss Scene"), we know that losing Mystra was a big blow for him. He regrets his decisions of the past in this scene, and it reinforced the idea that he is the only one to blame for Mystra's loss. There is a yearning for the lost Chosen powers, but Gale's context in the majority of his scenes seem to reinforce the idea that he sought power not as a means, but as a goal itself to be closer to Mystra and Magic. Since we are talking about a wizard, his passion lies in magic itself, in being one with the Weave/Magic/Mystra. A Chosen of Mystra is so entangled with the Weave and magic that when they die, they are part of the Weave itself. This is the level of passion that Gale has for Magic, and since Magic can only be performed by most mortals via Weave, and the Weave is Mystra, the whole three concepts are, in fact, one; and it makes it very difficult from a lore point of view to separate them. 
Tav: There's something I don't understand. If Mystra abandoned you, how can you still cast magic? Gale: The Weave is still here, all around us – inside of us too. As long as the goddess lives, magic is a tangible thing for those who know how to touch. I've studied magic for many years, and in as many ways I am still a more than capable wizard. It's just that I'm no longer able to perform those feats even arch wizards would marvel at. To have one hand on the pulse of divinity. You have to remember that the Weave is a living thing, both the embodiment and the extension of Mystra herself.She can give and she can take away. I'm afraid I'm still very much on her naughty list. Consider yourself lucky you're not. 
I personally think Gale will never stop being devoted to Mystra (and won't stop loving her in many ways), because his passion for magic and knowledge is his own life, and Mystra IS those things. He loves magic for the sake of it. So losing this unique contact with magic itself that only Chosen of Mystra have was a terrible punishment for him. His abandonment issues are not just the result of a “guy being left by a girl”. They have an extra complexity because of the nature of Magic in this world and how its deity behaves with her chosen. Gale was not only abandoned by Mystra, but was also removed of a good amount of his capacity to perform magic. If magic “is his life”, the abandonment removed a part of his life away. I think some people miss this point, because, once more, it's related to Forgotten Realm lore and not Dragon Age. Many of these people keep constantly comparing this situation with Dragon Age, which has nothing to do with it. Dragon Age has no wizards, their relationship with Magic is natural, it’s sorcerer-like if we want to compare it, and the relationship with their deities (mostly absent, silent ones) are nothing alike the ones in Forgotten Realm. The context is key, as I repeated several times in these posts and in the one about "Context, persuasion, and manipulation". 
Tav: I don't know what to make of what you've told me, but I sympathise. Gale: Thank you. [no romantic weave] I want you to know that you’re a good friend. [romantic weave] I often think of that moment we shared together – one under the Weave. I hope you think about it too. /I'm glad to know you think about it too.
Narrator: You sense a moment of unspoken affection. You want to know where it may lead. Gale: I consider myself very lucky to have found you Tav: I think perhaps we could be more than friends Gale: Perhaps. 
Tav: You said you think about the moment we shared under the weave. Do you think about it often? Gale: Do you? 1-2-Tav: Yes / From time to time. Gale: So do I. 3- Tav: Not really. Gale: And yet you ask. I do, as a matter of fact.
Gale: You see. I'm not a big believer in fate, but I do believe in serendipity. Life is a tempest of events that sometimes we brace against and sometimes embrace. You're one such event that one day soon perhaps I'd like to embrace.
So after sharing this regret during the Loss scene, Gale will show affection if Tav remains friendly during the Weave (but Gale will never directly engage it, he is waiting for Tav to give the first step; understandable if we consider he also has a dangerous bomb in his chest, so he may be torn between wanting to, but knowing he should not to). If there is no interest in pursuing romance, he will show a gesture of gratitude for being a good friend during that night of regrets. 
If pursuing the romance, we can interpret that Gale, at this point, even though he is still struggling with all the emotions that Mystra inspires, wants to experience something more “human”, a romance with a mortal. We know for sure that Gale is getting interested, slowly, while thinking about it, since in each of the following scenes he will ask (or Tav will ask) about that “moment in the Weave”. He has been thinking about it for many nights, and he is “embracing” the idea. 
If Gale is treated with judgement (despite not knowing his whole story) or allowing him to keep the secret of what or who he lost, we will obtain lines likes:
Gale: Good. Goodnight. And thank you for your patient understanding. // And try not to think too poorly of me. A cat can look at a king. A wizard can look at a goddess.
Tav: Another fool pays for his arrogance. A tale as old as time. Gale: Arrogance? Ambition, rather. And ambition is a fine thing – until suddenly it no longer is. Then again, if that is how you judge me, there’s little I can do to change your mind. But know that I have this ambition still. First to save myself, and after that, the licence to dream. (Gale Disapproval)
We could interpret these lines as the only ones so far that may suggest that Gale is still wanting something from the goddess. We know due to the tadpole dreams that Gale’s desire is Mystra. On the comments of the second tadpole dream we know more details about his major desire: it is not just Mystra, but her forgiveness.
Tav: Gale, who is the apparition in your dreams? Gale: She's... It doesn't matter. I just know her to be unreal. Tav: What's impossible about what you're been shown? Gale: Forgiveness Tav: Gale, who is the apparition in your dreams? Gale: It's indeed Mystra I see. And yet it cannot be her. There was a time when I would have believed - but no longer. I told you that I lost her. Lost her favour and lost so many of the powers I took for granted. What magic I can still weave is met only with undercurrents of disappointing silence. Mystra has not changed her mind about me. That's how I know our dreams are delusions.
I think this scene shows the difference between a standard desire for power as a means, and power for the sake of power itself (since this power allows Gale to be one with the Weave). The scene is ambiguous enough to see it as Gale wanting to return to Mystra’s side as well as remaining as an ardent devotee of her (because she is magic herself). I keep repeating that these scenes show that Gale’s most important thing in his life is Magic, which is Mystra: the extension and the embodiment of magic. So his desire for her seems impossible to be extinguished completely. In previous scenes we saw that he certainly had thought through the idea of loving her more like a devotee than a lover, but certainly the weight of being his first love will remain, especially since she is deeply related to magic itself.
During the Party Scene we find some information about his feelings for Mystra. 
I personally ponder the book of Amn’s description as very important because, from a narrative point of view, it's a lot of lines/content that, if they were not important, tend to be removed from the script. If they are there, they are meant to be interpreted. For this reason those lines mean to me that Gale has finally embraced the idea of having something important with a mortal. In my post of the "Party Scene" I go into details, but here I will stick to the interpretation related to Mystra: all what Gale numerates in that book are things that he could not access to with a Goddess. Curiously, part of those descriptions are things that make humans human, so I personally think it reinforces Gale's intention in heading into this romance with the eagerness of finding some shelter (never forget the “orb” has a constant oppressing effect in him, increasing his anxiety and fears) and to experience (maybe for the first time) the love of a mortal.
So, for some assumptions made in the post of the "Party Scene", we suspect that Gale needs to share a night to feel confident enough to speak the details of his “orb” condition. Since he wants this relationship to be strong (after all, he implied commitment during the description of the book) he speaks about the true origin of the “orb” immediately after that night, starting with Mystra (which is, after all, the true origin of his folly). Depending on the version that Tav picks, we have extra information provided by Gale about his emotions for the Goddess:
Tav: What did Mystra’s attention feel like? Gale: Love. Perhaps it was not quite love, but you see, the wizard was but a very young man. It was most certainly love to him. [...] One day all too soon, the whispers stopped. The goddess spurned the mortal. [...] and the wizard was left behind heartbroken. Tav: I hate to say it, but he really could have seen this coming Gale: He was blinded by love. Good stories are rife with lovers’ follies after all.
[Short Version] Gale: Before long Mystra tired of me. What was I after all but a mortal plaything in sacred hands? You have to realise I was heartbroken. I was a young man, she was my first love. I thought it would last forever. I vowed to win her back.
[after explaining the mistake of the “orb”] Gale: It is this folly that led Mystra to abandon me completely. I can only hope you won’t abandon me as well. After all we’ve been through.. After the night we spent together. Surely we can brave even this side by side
Gale is giving a very detailed context about his love for Mystra: she was his first love, and the first love tends to have a special weight in a person's life and their memories. That doesn't mean the person has become unable to build more relationships for the rest of their life. If we add the fact that he was very young when all this happened (more details in the Post "Gale Hypotheses- Part 1") we find him under two effects: the impression of the first love and the naivety of the youth. Both elements made him believe it was a love that was going to last forever. With a Goddess, no less.
Besides, Gale expresses this, highlighting his naivety and foolishness: he is aware of how silly he was back then, and how impossible it could be for a mortal to keep the love of a goddess. He is a pragmatic and realistic character, after all. He recognizes in the end that he was just a mortal plaything for her. 
I think these pieces of information give us a very clear context of his emotional state: he is still nostalgic for Mystra because of all the reasons I enumerated above; she is also more than just a woman, she is Magic itself. But he is aware that those emotions were the consequence of a very naïve and young self that has awakened by the burden of his own mistakes. There is also a reinforcement of “forever”, which recalls the concept of commitment that Gale pursues so much in his romance: he is not there just for the sex “intimacy”, he is there for serious commitment, maybe because he doesn't want to experience another abandonment. After all, we are talking about a character with a profile that shows abandonment issues (see the post of "Gale Hypotheses- Part 1", section: "Abandonment Issues")
[If rejected] Tav: No. This is too large a betrayal. GALE: I see. I am sorry. I am sorry that it had to come to this. All that’s left to say is farewell. Dev’s notes: hurt but understanding Gale: Farewell. (Leaves) Dev’s notes: A slight hesitation, hurt but understanding. He makes a polite little bow, then we see him walk away.
[If accepted] Gale: I don’t know what I did to deserve the magic that you do. 
Despite being terribly cheesy, this last line shows that Gale was more than convinced that Tav would abandon him because he doesn’t deserve Tav. This is why he doesn't put up much fight if Tav chooses to tell him to leave. He will try to make Tav listen to his story, and once it's done, the verdict will fall and he will accept it. He learnt his lesson with Mystra. This line also shows how everything important around Gale is or has to be worded with magic, even a silly metaphor like this is related with the word “magic”: Tav's acceptance is like magic. For him, as important and good as magic itself.
As if that were not enough, after the scene there is a comment in which Gale will reinforce his gratitude for Tav's acceptance:
Tav: If you ever feel the netherese magic overtaking you, what will you do? Gale: If it should ever come to that... if I ever know I am no longer able to stop it... I will do anything I can to ensure no one but me pays for my mistakes. I will find the remotest place on the surface of Faerûn, or perhaps far below in the depths of the Underdark. I will await that death alone. [*] I promise I will not betray your trust... You kept me by your side despite the menace that I am. If worst comes to worst, I will be gone long before the curtain falls.  [*] If romanced, Gale will say here "I cherish you."
Which makes me suspect that Gale can disappear at any moment (in full game) if for some game mechanics we are unable to get magical artefacts but the deal with Raphael did not happen (if that’s even possible). But that's just me speculating. Nothing in EA seems to suggest this. What i's clear is that acceptance—that strong concept in the book he put so much emphasis on—is really important to him, so he shows gratitude for that: he promises to protect Tav (and many innocents) from his own mistake. He also says pretty soon an equivalent of “I love you”, in a more formal/meaningful way: “to cherish” is not just to love, but to care/protect as well. 
Finally, in case someone lost those hints, or maybe as a consequence of this unpolished scene, we have a direct question with a direct answer:
Tav: Gale, are you still in love with Mystra? Gale: I’ll be honest with you; I don’t know. She is my muse still, the embodiment of magic, but the embodiment of love? Only if we ever meet again will I know
Gale simply says what we have been inferring so far with all the previous information: Gale reinforces the idea that he will remain as a strong, loving devotee of Mystra, because she is magic. I personally don't even consider it possible to remove that love from him. He may not be a cleric, but he loves his deity as one. But he also learnt his lesson that loving gods has its own dire consequences for mortals. He is very aware of it during the discussion about Karsus:
Tav: Nothing good ever comes from mortals wanting to be gods. 
Gale: Loving them has its side effects as well. Now, so many centuries later, I tried to follow in the footsteps of Karsus, not to destroy Mystra, but to prove my love for her. It tried to control only a fraction of the magic that was unleashed that fateful day. I merely sought to return one tiny diamond to an imperfect crown. Gale's Folly one might call it. History. Repetition. It's the way things go.
Once more, there is no scene where Gale doesn't reinforce that what he did was a mistake, a foolish action, a Folly. 
Finally, if talking about a previous lover immediately after awakening with a new one was of poor taste, Gale acknowledges this, giving an honest apology:
Gale: Before we go on though, do first let me apologise. To share such a night with you only to tell you of a previous lover the next morning... It wasn't the most gentleman-like behaviour. But I had to finally tell you. Silence would have been far worse behaviour still. Nevertheless, I am sorry.
He accepts any rude response or lash-out from Tav without approval penalties. This is an interesting meta-knowledge that speaks about owning up to his mistakes. Unlike the Loss scene, where rude responses made Gale disapprove because Tav was judging him without knowing the whole story [16], in this scene he doesn’t. Now Tav has the whole picture, and he accepts whatever reaction Tav shows. Of course he will approve a forgiving Tav, since Gale is a character very related to forgiveness [12, 12b].
Conclusion: 
So, answering the question that gives title to this section: yes. In my opinion, Gale loves Mystra. But it’s not a white-and-black love; it has the complexity of human love mixed with this crazy lore of deities in Forgotten Realms. I believe Mystra will always be part of Gale's life, because the Weave and magic are his life, and she is both. He will always love her as a devotee, even though he now understands the mistakes of his young self and seems more aware of how naive he was when he was a “very young man”. The comments on the second tadpole dreams explicitly show that what Gale wants the most is Mystra’s forgiveness, but at the same time, he knows that he does not deserve it. And this raw realistic view of himself is what makes him understand that those dreams are illusions. During the party scene he is uncertain about his emotions, but still he emphasises that there is a big chance for him to not see Mystra as the embodiment of love any more but reinforces that she will always be the embodiment of magic to him (a very important concept in his character design). 
Whether Gale is romanced or not, I don't see a difference in the information he shares on this matter in EA.
This post was written in June 2021. → For more Gale: Analysis Series Index
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jamespotterthefirst · 5 years ago
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Five Birthdays (Ethan x f!MC)
Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Lilac Allende) Word count: 2.4K Warning: Implied adult situations  Premise: Ethan’s birthdays with her in the next five years. 
Author’s Note: A birthday fic that I wrote a while ago and wanted to post on my birthday. Dedicated to @perriewinklenerdie , @scorpiochick8 , and all the beautiful Scorpios out there. November babies, this is for you too! Thank you @aestheticartsx​ for reading through this mess! Hope you like it. 
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Year One 
A soft knock pulled Ethan away from his latest patient chart. Interruptions were always a source of irritation but tonight he almost welcomed it. His body ached with exhaustion and his eyelids were heavy after the sixteen hour day. 
The door opened to reveal Dr. Allende, looking uncharacteristically bashful as she entered, hands behind her back. 
“What can I do for you?” he asked, his attention falling quickly to the chart. This he only did as an excuse to glance away because she was biting her bottom lip the way she did when nervous. It was a quirk that always drove him to distraction. 
She said nothing as she approached, and Ethan could see in his peripheral that she did so cautiously. After a small pause, she set a tall to-go cup of coffee on the desk in front of him, successfully getting his attention. 
“I brought you coffee,” she said by way of explanation. She opened her mouth to say more, but closed it immediately, looking uncharacteristically flustered and even a little anxious. She tried again, “The Vienna. From the coffee house you took me to a few weeks ago.”
Ethan removed his spectacles, staring at the cup. “I can see that. Though I commend you on the choice, I am still uncertain why you went through the trouble.”
The pretty intern flushed, looking prettier still, much to Ethan's frustration. 
“I didn't know what else you liked. And I wanted to get you something.” 
Ethan's confusion lasted only a second before realization sunk in. His stomach dropped and he all but groaned. For some reason, this seemed to ease some of her tension. She even looked a tad bit amused. 
“Who told you?” 
“Dr. Banerji,” she responded, not surprising Ethan in the least. “He let it slip while I was drawing blood for that full work up you ordered.”
Ethan huffed, sincerely doubting the old man had let the detail slip accidentally. 
“Happy birthday,” she added and this time, the amusement was undeniable in her voice. 
“You can't tell anyone,” he implored, feeling his face grow hotter by the second. He shuddered to think of the fuss people in the hospital would make if they knew, particularly the nursing staff. “I've worked too hard these past years to keep that a secret. Trust me, it's not an easy feat when Marlene is in charge of the birthday board.”
Lilac laughed, the sound so pleasant he almost forgot to be mortified. “Imagine the parties they'd throw in your honor, Dr. Ramsey. I don't think I can rob everyone of such a good time.” 
“Lilac.”
More laughter. “I won't tell a soul,” she said solemnly. Ethan was still unconvinced and she rolled her eyes. “Just drink your coffee, Ron Swanson.”
___________________________________
Year Two 
Lilac glanced around with interest, pressing her clipboard tightly against her chest. Ethan almost snorted at her feigned attempt to seem invested. There was nothing particularly interesting about the supply closet they both occupied. 
“Interesting choice, Doctor,” she commented anyway, sounding thoroughly amused. 
“I didn't think you'd mind meeting here,” he returned, feeling emboldened enough to flirt with the pretty young resident before him. He had already pulled her into a supply closet with the enthusiasm of an intern. Ethan might as well enjoy the full thrill of breaking the rules. “If you have moral qualms, however, just say the word and we can both go back to work.”
Lilac proved she had no complaints by closing the already small space between them and kissing him fully. The clipboard clattered to the floor as her hands slid up his shoulders and clung around his neck. Ethan responded in kind, his hands settling on the dip of her waist, his lips eagerly moving against hers. 
She hissed a little as their kiss went from passionate to desperate, hands, lips, and teeth tugging at one another. These days, it only took a matter of seconds to reach that level, both growing needier by the day.
“I didn't take you for the type to make out in a supply closet,” she said breathlessly when they finally pulled apart. 
“Honestly? The idea seemed juvenile until I started making out with you.” He gave her a half smile that made her eyes linger on his lips. “I've been thinking of nothing else ever since we broke into Mass Kenmore.”
Ever since that event, he'd had several detailed fantasies that included Lilac in a supply closet with him, but he decided not to disclose them as the majority were irrefutably not safe for work. Then again, the way she pressed her body flush against his, her rosy lips trailing kisses along his jaw, was anything but appropriate for the workplace. 
“Whatever the birthday boy wants, the birthday boy gets.” 
Ethan involuntarily shuddered at the word birthday, which in turn made her pull away in laughter. 
“No one is going to hear us here. You picked the supply closet in a construction zone that no one is allowed to be in.”
She was taunting him but Ethan didn't mind. If anything, he concluded that two could play at the game. With a devilish, lopsided smile that caught her attention again he said in a dangerous, low whisper, “I just thought you'd want to scream my name without the whole hospital hearing you.”
The surprised look that turned lustful in seconds sent a thrill of satisfaction through Ethan. He claimed her lips again without restraint, successfully opening the buttons of her blouse before him. There was no time to admire the black lace that left little to the imagination, when his pager demanded his attention. 
He groaned but fixed his clothes and hair at once. When he was presentable once again, Ethan paused to give her one last, longing look. A familiar, mournful feeling settled in his stomach as another clandestine encounter came to an end. 
Her responding smile was understanding, as though she knew exactly what he was thinking. At this point, he was certain that she did. 
“Happy birthday,” she murmured, lifting herself to press a sweet, tender kiss to his cheek. 
Not for the first time, he wished for nothing more than to be able to kiss her whenever, however he wanted, no matter who saw. 
___________________________________
Year Three
Ethan pressed her against the wall, escalating their usual goodbye kiss after a long day at the hospital. Though a little surprised at first, Lilac quickly recovered and kissed him back just as eagerly. When they broke the kiss for breath, she raised an eyebrow in curiosity. 
“Not that I’m complaining, but what was that for?”
Ethan shrugged, the pad of his thumb trailing the faint freckles on her cheeks. The truth was now that he could finally kiss her without needing a reason to and without caring who was around, he couldn't seem to stop. 
In this particular instance, it was Naveen who entered the office, clearing his throat meaningfully. They didn't spring apart from one another as they used to, pretending (rather poorly) that they were only colleagues. Instead, they remained in each other's arms as they looked at the Chief. The older man did not seem to mind one bit for he watched them with a warm, proud smile. 
“Ready for our meeting with the Board, Ethan?” 
“No.” 
Naveen chuckled good-naturedly. “It'll be a short one. I'll make sure of it lest Dr. Allende hates me for making her finance work late on his birthday.”
It did not go unnoticed by everyone that Ethan didn't exactly have a visceral reaction to the word, unlike the past years. Naveen shot him a fatherly smile and Lilac pressed a loving, chaste kiss on his cheek. 
“I'll wait for you at home.” She waited until the Chief was out of the room to whisper in Ethan's ear, “I have a surprise for you.”
The heady promise stole his attention for the rest of the evening, which was a good thing because the meeting was as useless as he had expected. An hour and a half later, he discovered he was right in rushing home to Lilac. 
She was waiting for him in the living, perched on the backrest of the love seat and clad in the shortest silk robe he had ever seen. Her shapely legs were exposed for his viewing pleasure, save for the sheer, black stockings ending with lace at her thighs. The echo of her previous promise adorned everything from her coy smile to the scandalous patch of lace peeking from the neckline of her robe. 
“Took you long enough,” she teased in a breathy sort of voice that had an instant effect on him. 
She hopped off the sofa, walking toward the dining room, hips swaying with each step. On any regular day, the sight would have been enough inspiration to tease her until she begged him to take her on any given surface of their apartment. In her current attire, he wished to pin her against the wall with primal urgency in ten seconds or less. 
“I ordered us food from—” 
 In one quick stride, he spun her around, his mouth devouring hers in a scorching kiss. Lilac matched his passion, her silk-clad body melting deliciously against his, her arms locking around his neck. 
“Happy birthday,” she moaned as he ran his tongue down her neck and into the exposed valley of her breasts. 
Ethan had never been happier. 
Not only because he was currently peeling the flimsy robe off with his teeth, revealing a lacy black number underneath, but also because of the three words that left her lips, as natural and wondrous as the beautiful sunset through the window.
“I love you.”
He could never tire of hearing them. 
___________________________________
Year Four
Ethan awoke to soft, lazy kisses and a curtain of dark hair enveloping them both. When she straightened with a tired smile, he missed the floral scent of her shampoo at once. He groaned in protest and pulled her body against his for another quick kiss, cutting the small shriek of surprise short. 
“Good morning,” he greeted between slow, delicious sips of her mouth. 
“Good morning indeed,” she sighed in return. At last, when they fully pulled apart, she picked up a tray from the nightstand and set it on his lap. “Happy birthday! I made you pancakes. ” 
He took in the pretty array before him, complete with coffee and a small vase of red carnations. Ethan flashed her a grateful grin, not missing the dark circles under her eyes or the exhausted sigh that escaped her as her head sank into the pillows. 
“Is that what was burning earlier?” 
Lilac laughed dryly, eyes shut. “Laugh all you want, Ramsey, but at least I can actually make them.” 
“TouchĂ©.”
He savored her offerings in silence, admiring how her cooking had improved dramatically in her years with him. Lilac continued to rest against the pillows, looking so blissful, he couldn't help but smile. Within minutes, her muscles relaxed and her breathing became more even as she drifted into sleep. 
The crackle of the speaker on their bedside startled her awake. If that hadn't done it, then the wailing that soon followed would have done it. “He's awake,” she mumbled, already moving to sit up. 
Ethan placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, easing her back into the pillows. “I'll go.”
His son's crying subsided as soon as Ethan scooped him up and swayed him gently. He grinned down at his three-month-old, unable to contain the warm pride expanding in his chest.
“Good morning. You're up early after keeping us up for most of the night,” he murmured, kissing his tiny forehead. Ethan would give up all his hours of sleep if it meant holding his perfect son in his arms. 
By the time they returned to the bedroom, Lilac was sound asleep, face buried unceremoniously  in the pillows. Ethan smiled fondly at his wife, making a mental note to lovingly tease her about the snoring later. Quietly, he settled in bed next to her, carefully setting Jonah facedown on his chest. 
Lilac mumbled something incomprehensible, sleepily burrowing into his arm. Jonah, meanwhile, drifted off into an easy sleep against his father's chest. Ethan smiled broadly, the gesture coming much more naturally than in past years, as he enjoyed a quiet morning with his perfect little family. 
___________________________________
Year Five
“Happy birthday!” his wife exclaimed. Ethan wasn't sure what his toddler son had shrieked out. All he knew was that he matched his mother's enthusiasm as they presented the small, thickly frosted cake on the counter. 
Ethan raised his brows at the creation before him. “You two made this just for me?”
Lilac beamed. “Yep, just Jonah and I.”
The slight pitch in her voice made Ethan chuckle. “I find that hard to believe. One of you barely has the fine motor skills needed to operate in a kitchen.”
“Cachen!” Jonah exclaimed, claiming his father's attention. Ethan bent down and kissed the top of his head. 
“And the other is a one year old toddler,” Ethan finished, earning him an adorable glare from his wife. 
“You think you're so funny, Ramsey.”
“I know I am, Allende.”
“That’s Allende-Ramsey to you.” Without warning, she scooped up a dollop of frosting and smeared it on Ethan's mouth. 
Unfazed, Ethan licked off the excess before pulling her into a kiss. Lilac laughed against his sugar coated lips while Jonah shrieked with happiness, forcing them to pull apart. 
“Either way, thank you for making this for me,” he said, gesturing toward the now marred cake. 
“Antsina!” 
Ethan glanced at his son curiously. “What is he saying?”
Lilac, meanwhile, shook her head comically at their son. 
“Ant sina!” the baby repeated, his short arms outstretched towards the cake. 
“Aunt Sienna?” Ethan guessed with a small laugh, looking at his wife. “Sienna helped you with this, didn’t she?” 
Lilac seemed abashed, looking as though she had half a mind to deny it. Her shoulders dropped in defeat, however, and with a small laugh she said, “I didn’t think my baby would give me away, but yes.” At her husband’s smug smile, she added, “But Jonah and I helped! Jonah tasted the frosting and I helped with the batter.”
Her smile turned sheepish as she thought of something and added, “Actually, your daughter may have helped with that too. This makes for the perfect bowl stand.” Her hands lovingly caressed her very pregnant belly. 
Ethan leaned in to kiss it and Jonah, always mimicking his father, leaned in to do the same. Both parents laughed, kissing their son in turn. 
“Make a wish,” Lilac instructed as she lit the candles. 
A knot formed in his throat as Ethan considered there was no need for that. In the past five years, he had been fortunate enough to find everything he could ever want.
___________________________________
Author’s Note: Thank you so much for reading! I love you all <3
Also, I have hit a major writer’s block when concerning Part 2 of the Miami chapter in the Picta series. Slowly but surely, I am getting there. Thank you for being so patient! 
Finally, if you asked me to add you to the tag list and I haven’t, please message me. I am so disorganized and forgetful. I’m so sorry!
___________________________________
tags: @openheart12 , @takeharryandgo​ , @trappedinfanfiction​, @aestheticartsx​, @aworldoffandoms​, @paulfwesley​, @myusualnerdyself​,  @rookie-ramsey​, @ohchoices​, @colossalpainintheass​, @enmchoices​, @i-bloody-love-drake-walker​, @choicesfanaf​, @openheartthot​, @octobereighth​, @nazarihoe​, @utterlyinevitable​, @kites-in-our-skies​, @maurine07​, @schnitzelbutterfingers​, @doilooklikeiknow​, @snesdudes​, @kingliam2019​, @perriewinklenerdie​, @cinnamonspongecake​, @choicesstan1​, @queencarb​, @ethxnrxmsey​, @missmiimiie​, @jens-diamondchoices​, @adamsdumortain​, @apphia12​, @kalogh​, @lucy-268​, @binny1985​, @queenbirbs​, @honeyandsunfl0wers​, @newcolonies​, @lilyvalentine​, @rigatonireid​, @interobanginyourmom​, @parkerattano​, @custaroonie​, @nikki-2406​, @lilypills​, @chasingrobbie​, @nooruleman​,  @lonely-mxxnlight​, @ruinedbypixels​, @shadynaturehilariouscookie​, @tsrookie​, @mvalentine​, @professorkingslay​, @drakewalkerfantasy​, @casey-v​, @helloblueeyedcat​, @mysticaurathings​, @blossomanarchy​, @thegreentwin​, @togetherwearerapture​, @rookieoh​, @ramseysno1rookie, @rookiemarsswiftie​, @natashajaniphil​, @mysticalgalaxysstuff​, @hatescapsicum​, @choices-lurker​, @kiara-36​, @junehiratas​, @danijimenezv​, @macy-ray85​, @adrex04​, @canigetanawwjunk​, @sanchita012​, @overwhelminglyaquarius​ , @scorpiochick8​, @skylarklyon​, @starrystarrytrouble​, @mercury84choices​, @drariellevalentine​, @ethanrcmsey​, @lion-ess24, @aarisa-frost​, @kaavyaethanramsey​ , @udishaman​, @a-crepusculo​, @quacksonlover​,
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ilomilodailystuff · 4 years ago
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If You Love Me || Sylki Fanfic
...really love me
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Loki x Sylvie fanfiction
[LOKI FINALE SPOILERS]
dt @entertainmentforgods
(every mean comments about this ship will be deleted. If you don't like this ship, please just ignore.)
They did it, it was over. The impossible had come true.
Their heart beating wildly, the anguish of their uncertainty gradually fades as they understand the finality of it all.
Loki and Sylvie had joined forces to destroy the true mastermind of the TVA. The overpowered individual who pulled the strings behind the curtain.
The Goddess of Mischief dropped her bloodstained sword on the dark ground, making a loud metallic sound. He Who Remains had just gave his last breath.
Sylvie took a deep breath while staring at the inert body of the one who called himself The Conqueror. As Loki stood behind her, he watched her worriedly. She had just accomplished what she had fought for all her life. So many years feeding a justified anger towards one man, for it turned out that the Time Keepers were nothing but a sham. So many years of hiding, of surviving in the midst of so many apocalypses instead of just living fearlessly. Instead of living happily, instead of laughing, smiling, dancing, singing, enjoying the present moment, observing the universe and its many wonders without them being destroyed around her, loving and being loved in return... All of that was taken away from her, because The Ruler had decided to do so. Because only one man had made the decision to sacrifice her timeline and her family and those she loved. She had lost everything as a child, because a human had condemned her existence.
And now, the latter had just died. He had lived millions of lives, and the last had just ended, killed by the vengeful hand of an innocent orphan.
Slowly, Loki moved closer to her as he kept his eyes on her. Then when he was right behind her, he gently took her hand to try to get her out of her torpor. Her face turned to him as her gaze was drawn to the ground. She was still trying to regulate her breathing and realize the previous events.
"Come with me
" He half-murmurs, his blue eyes tinted with green watching his partner's reaction carefully, anxious to see her breaking down despite her strength to contain her emotions.
It was then that she nodded softly, still too absorbed by this decisive moment in her life. Sylvie turns to him with the intention of following him, no matter where he wanted to take her.
A few seconds later, both found themselves outside the entrance to the Citadel.
Loki went down the few steps, before sitting quietly on one of them. His teammate was not far away and she watched him get comfortable, while thousands of thoughts jostled in her mind. Curious, Loki brought his attention to her. When their eyes met, she began her steps to him to sit beside him on the step.
A deep sigh escaped her lips as she sat down comfortably, her eyes fixed in front of her, finally noticing the awe-inspiring beauty of the sacred timeline they both would have admired sooner if it were in a less disastrous context. But now as they ran after time, it was as if it has just stopped.
The variants observed this painting before them, this masterpiece born from space and the end of the universe. For a moment, a pleasant silence rocked them in a surreal dream. Their eyes shine brightly, illuminated by the cosmos and time materialised in a perfectly fluid and sparkling line. But also, their intense feelings took over and tears had formed.
Hesitant but at the same time strangely confident, Loki turned to Sylvie, only able to imagine how she felt now.
"You're okay ?" He dares to ask softly.
Suffering of an internal conflict, Sylvie keeps her eyes wide open and try to look indifferent.
"I accomplished my mission, how do you think I feel ?" She replies naturally, almost on the defensive.
"Relieved ?"
"Yeah, among other things." She confirms with obviousness.
Amused by her slightly aggressive responses which, according to him, are what make her what she is, the god of mischief ends up stretching a tender smirk, realizing that this tone will never leave her no matter the situations in which they find themselves, as dramatic and catastrophic as they may be.
Innocently, Sylvie ends up looking at her partner.
"Why do you smile ?" She asks.
He smiles a little more.
"The real question is... why don’t you ?" Loki retorts, eyebrows raised.
The Enchantress raised her eyebrows in turn, that desperate, lonely look that makes her charm appearing on her face. What to answer to that? She had learned that Loki was insightful about her, but she wasn't used to being the center of attention that much.
"Why seek answers to trivial questions." She asks rhetorically as she looks away from him.
After a while, Loki also turned away, dissatisfied with her answer but still preferring to let go.
"So this is it..." He starts. "It's done."
"It's done." Sylvie asserts, nodding her head a little.
His eyes going here and there, Odin's son was asking himself lots of questions. Including one in particular.
"What do we do now ?" He wonders, seeming lost.
Sylvie took a deep breath again, ignoring like him the future of events.
"Should we go back to the TVA ?" Loki continues, bringing his gaze back to the one person he trusted.
"Why ?" She asks softly. "They don't need us anymore."
"But we don't have to hide." He responds with a comforting smile. "We are their allies."
"Is that what you want, to go back to the TVA ? But to do what ?" She asks again, looking into his eyes.
He thought for a moment, trying to unravel this enigmatic knot, stepping into the unknown.
"The Sacred Timeline is free" He said, emphasizing the first words in an exaggerated and caricatural way. "Maybe once we get there, we can look for another timeline where we can... fit in ?"
A silence took hold of them, leaving for only words the looks they exchanged.
Sylvie then ends up lowering her gaze in the direction of her own hands, revealing between her fingers the object that the Conqueror kept around his hand. The tempad.
"How about we take a break, until one of us finds a place to go ?" She offers softly, lost in thought as she doesn't take her eyes off the object.
"What, here ?" Loki asks, uncertain and surprised by her answer.
"Why not..?" She replies, her eyebrows raised, her mind being elsewhere. "When you've seen thousands of apocalypses, The Void isn't as bad as it seems."
Loki takes the time to consider this idea, thinking about everything else. The members of the TVA, the sacred timeline that has become completely independent, the very few people to which he is attached. They had just accomplished something huge, should they just ignore the multitudes of consequences their act caused ?
"It's over, Loki." Sylvie said, looking up at him.
Again, his gaze plunged deeply into her eyes
"We did what we had to do." She continues, looking serene.
"What if they still need us ?" He asks, referring to the TVA, specifically Mobius and hunter B-15, the only two people who believed in them and offered their precious help.
Sylvie watched the sacred timeline as it gradually divided, and she sighed.
"I am tired." She admits, ignoring Loki's question. "And you ?"
Loki admired the many timelines that continued to split, before taking a deep breath.
"Yes, me too..." He answers softly, releasing his breath, releasing the pressure he had been holding since his arrival at the TVA and which he hadn't known he had kept in him all this time until now.
However, he couldn't shake off his negative thoughts and all his apprehensions about the completion of their mission and the impact it will have on the trillions of people the universe can create. The god of mischief had, against all odds, developed a conscience and a moral code. Yes, they had delivered the world by giving it back its free will. But for some reason that he didn't quite understand, he began to doubt.
And buried into his torment, Sylvie brought a comforting hand to his.
Loki laid his eyes on this delicate hand, yet belonging to that of a warrior, his heart missing a beat at the gentle contact of the one he had become crazy about. In this moment of complexity, in this major turning point for the multiverse, he almost forgot his feelings. He almost forgot the way they looked at each other in the Citadel as they walked into the darkness. He almost forgot the moment she had gripped his hand in the Void, in front of Alioth, hoping to help him unleash his enchantment powers.
Suddenly caught up in his emotions, he looked up uncertainly in the direction of his partner. Then, she gave him a brief smile, but oh so genuine. The same smile she had given him on Lamentis, while everything around them was death and destruction. Apparently everything was written. But he decided to ignore this detail that the conqueror had shared with too much pride.
Still confused by these unusual feelings, Loki returned that affectionate and heartwarming smile. Only, looking into her expressive eyes - but in the greatest secret, a loving gaze- he realized that the very thing he wanted above all now was to never leave her again. To stay by her side, as long as possible, even forever, better than that : beyond death. His desires made him all the more nervous. He never thought he would be so consumed by his moods, let alone by a loving emotion that possesses him more and more after each day he spends in her company. Nevertheless he wanted to seize this desire and make it come true.
This time, it is the TVA that he forgets, it is the universe that he neglect, it is the time that he ignores.
It is his glorious purpose that he gave up, because he found a new one...
"Sylvie..." He said, drunk with love for her. "I..."
"No, Loki, wait." Sylvie interrupts him, being totally lost and frightened at the same time. "I have to tell you something..."
"Yes ?" He asks, innocent, patient, in love.
She looked at him intensely, trying to express herself. Something seemed to upset her. Loki was trying to read into her eyes, to read her face, when no word could break the barrier of her lips. Disturbed by this confession, it turned out that it was getting stuck between the walls of her throat.
So the Prince of Asgard frowned, intrigued by the torture she was inflicting on herself through this mysterious revelation.
"I..." She starts before her lips instantly seal.
She took a deep breath, bracing herself for another attempt, as Loki's piercing, loving gaze dug into her pupils until it consumed her whole being.
When finally, in complete disarray, she ends up throwing herself at his neck.
Her lips crashed against his, tenderly, passionately but mostly timidly. Surprised but more than grateful for this proof of unexpected love, Loki was not long in returning her kiss with just as much fervor.
Sylvie had never been attached to anyone. She never wanted to be weak because of her feelings. She would never have dedicated herself to someone body and soul, for trusting and breaking down the imposing and solid walls she had built around her was inconceivable. And yet, faced with the many selfless acts of the one who had irrupted into her plan, she had found herself giving him importance. She hated knowing that she was only considering trusting him. She hated the fact that he could climb these walls she had locked herself between.
Worse yet, she was terrified to find herself reaching out to help him climb.
Eyes closed, they kissed each other with fragility, embarrassed to feel such intense emotions but oh how much they surrendered to them.
Sitting side by side, they relished this moment of sincerity and calm after all they had endured. The highlight of their journey. The completion of a battle for freedom, the same cause that the rightful king of Asgard fought against to make it inaccessible to the people of the earth. This cause that he finally chose to defend ; for him at the beginning, but for her on the way, and for the others at the end of their fight.
Slowly, they parted. Loki then dared to rest his forehead tenderly against hers. They kept their eyes closed, as if to immortalized this moment in their memories, for who knows what might happen to them tomorrow.
That's why he whispered these few words :
"You're right, I... I'm a little tired..." He admitted again hesitantly, unsettled by this moment of pure sincerity.
Keeping her forehead against his, Sylvie nodded gently, not daring to open her eyes to face the truth she still had trouble swallowing.
"Let's stay here..." Loki continues.
"Only for a little while." She continues nervously, muttering her desires like him, probably too afraid that someone will hear them or too embarrassed to admit she is weak in front of him, while he is weak in front of her.
"Yes, after all... If something goes wrong, they know where to find us, right ?" He responds with a raised eyebrow as he still kept his eyes closed, trying to reassure himself by making excuses to stay.
"Yeah, of course, nothing prevents Mobius from coming back here." She confirmed casually.
"Well, unless... Unless he had to prune himself." He said worriedly. "But it’s not as if we have no way to reach them !" He adds anyway, optimistic and trying not to feel guilty.
“Yes ! We have the--” She mimics his optimism, as she pulls away from his forehead to observe the object in her free hand.
"T-the tempad..." He confirms by muttering and nodding his head, bringing in turn his attention to the latter.
The taste of her lips was still too present on Loki's for him to think properly. However, he was trying.
Shyly, he finally looked at her again, a quiet smile displayed on his face.
Of course, Sylvie had noticed it. How to ignore him ? So, embarrassed, she gave him an uncertain look, having no idea how they should react now. After all, despite their thousand years of life, the variants had never really been devoted to feelings or romance that seemed more than superfluous and unnecessary at the time. Although they were aware of their emotions, repressed or not, knowing how to react to them was still an area to be explored.
The landscape around them gradually brought her back to reality. Then, looking worried, she turned her gaze to the entrance to the Citadel. She remembered the corpse of the He Who Remains, the one who had wiped out her timeline and certainly thousands more.
Loki frowned, noticing the change in expression on his partner's face.
"Are you sure you’re okay ?" He asks once more with patience.
Lost in thought, Sylvie continued to look at the place where everything had changed with a blank stare.
"No..." she sighs slowly.
The god of mischief was envious to possess the complicated mind of his variant for the sole purpose of finding the source of her ill-being. It would be enough for him to touch her to enchant her, now that he knows the secrets of enchantment. However, would he dare ? He hesitated for a fraction of a second, before totally rejecting the idea away from him. He was incapable of defying her trust, for he knew full well that he would risk a lot if he tried. Especially since he was still cruelly lacking in experience concerning enchantments.
"But when I wake up tomorrow knowing that the one responsible for all this horror is only a memory, then I could savor every second of my life." She asserts returning her attention to Loki as if nothing had happened, speaking with confidence and lightness.
Perplexed but somewhat reassured, he just nodded briefly, straining to accept her answer. However, something in him told him that she wasn't being entirely truthful.
"...Glorious purpose." He said, trying to lighten the mood.
"Mh..." She only answers, a quiet smirk nestling in the corner of her lips.
Calm eventually took over. Neither of them spoke, only watching the story of trillions of lives forming before their eyes in those many fluorescent lines.
"We're not leaving." He speaks up, his statement sounding more like a question mark.
"We're not leaving." She repeats with a little more conviction than him.
Slowly, he finally took a light breath, before sighing in contentment.
After an extremely difficult journey that could have cost them their lives, even though the Ruler had decided that they would be spared so that they could both achieve their goal, they were going to be able to rest, they were going to be able to breathe. Because even if the gods have more ability than humans to resist fatigue and pain, they could do nothing before the effervescence of their emotions. And as tough as they could be, they were tired, mentally and physically.
Thereupon, on this mutual agreement, the two variants had decided that it was time for them to rest for a while. They didn’t know what they were going to do. But they had decided to figure this out

Together.
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robininthelabyrinth · 4 years ago
Text
Tedious Joys - Chapter 7 -
- Ao3 link -
“You could have mentioned that your father likes to kiss his saber,” Lan Qiren hissed at Nie Mingjue, who flailed helplessly as both of them tried to whisper outside of Lao Nie’s hearing – a task only rendered possible from the fact that he was currently scrubbing his hair extremely vigorously to get rid of all the dirt and grime, Lan Qiren’s extended hand firmly on his back. The jade pendant was back to hanging at his waist, since hasty experimentation had revealed that the physical contact with Lan Qiren was the key aspect, although the jade pendant seemed key as well - removing it appeared to make the contact less effective.
“He didn’t, did he? Are you all right?” Nie Mingjue asked, and he looked so serious and earnest about it, like he was going to march up to his father right then and there and challenge him over Lan Qiren’s honor or something if Lan Qiren implied that he should, that Lan Qiren’s irritation faded away at once.
“Only on the hand,” Lan Qiren assured him. “He didn’t take any liberties.”
That last part was more of a joke than anything else – however intimate Lao Nie was with her, Jiwei was still a saber – but Nie Mingjue looked alarmed. “You’ll say something if he does anything you’re uncomfortable with, right?” he asked anxiously, and Lan Qiren stared at him.
“Nie Mingjue,” he said stiffly, attempting to quell a little bit of possibly hysterical and definitely inappropriate laughter. “Is there something you need to tell me about you and Baxia
?”
“Tell you – oh! No, no, nothing like that,” Nie Mingjue said, turning bright red. “That’s not what I meant, Teacher Lan! Really, I swear!”
Lao Nie poked his head out of the water briefly to look at them both suspiciously, but accepted it when Lan Qiren shook his head at him and turned back away.
Nie Mingjue waited until his father was distracted to continue whispering. “I just meant – our sabers may be our partners, but it’s not
it’s not an equal distribution of authority, you know? In the end, they’re the weapons and we’re the masters.”
Lan Qiren frowned, finally understanding the nature of Nie Mingjue’s concern, and it was much more astute than he’d initially thought. “I see. So if Baxia refused to cultivate with you
?”
Nie Mingjue shifted uncomfortably from side to side. “Well, I mean, I wouldn’t, personally,” he said. “She’s my friend. But A-die’s always saying I’m too soft on her, that I need to take her more firmly in hand, so
I don’t know. It’d definitely be a few days before he forces the issue – uh, that is – I mean – not that he’d ever –”
“It won’t come to that,” Lan Qiren assured him. “A few days will give us enough time to come up with a plan, and at any rate I would not allow him to mistreat me.”
Nie Mingjue looked relieved, which was a flattering if perhaps not entirely accurate reflection of how strong he believed Lan Qiren to be.
“A good night’s rest will help more than anything,” Lan Qiren continued. “For him, and for you. I suggest you take advantage of it at once – actual sleep, not meditation.”
Nie Mingjue nodded again. “But he’s going to be all right?” he asked, anxious. “Eventually?”
Lan Qiren glanced at his friend, happily humming some bawdy song and appearing likely about to break out into actual singing at any moment, and felt a pain in his chest at the thought of what might be necessary.
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I really don’t know. We’ll do everything we can for him.”
Nie Mingjue accepted that, taking a deep breath and centering himself, then striding away – he would probably go and do some work before he actually retired, rather than actually go straight to sleep, but Lan Qiren did not call him out on it. There was still a chance that Nie Mingjue would end up as sect leader, and then he wouldn’t have a choice in it at all.
After being tormented briefly by some rather off-key singing and extremely dubious lyrical choices, Lan Qiren found himself bundled off to Lao Nie’s quarters and into his bed, with Lao Nie curling up quite happily against his back.
“There are rules about judging other people,” Lan Qiren mumbled, staring at the wall and ignoring the feeling of Lao Nie’s chin on his shoulder. It was pointy, and they didn’t quite fit – Lan Qiren was the just barely taller of the two, although Lao Nie was broader, and his arms were heavy around him – and all in all Lan Qiren was not especially enjoying the experience of sharing a bed any more than he had any of the previous times it had been forced upon him by necessity, luckily small in number. “I am currently breaking it. I will need to think of a suitable punishment for myself later.”
“Judging me, sweetheart?” Lao Nie said into his ear, sounding amused. “What did I do?”
“Sleep in the same bed as an extremely sharp and angry blade, apparently.”
“Only when you’re angry at me,” Lao Nie said, completely shameless. Lan Qiren really didn’t know why he’d been expecting anything different, really. “You know, it’s much easier to hold you in my arms when you’re like this, all soft, even if your hips are a bit knobby. I like it.”
Lan Qiren sighed.
The next morning, Lan Qiren woke at the prescribed time and performed his morning ablutions in the time before Lao Nie woke, settling himself down beside the bed to play calming music and think about what could be behind Lao Nie’s current fixation on believing that he was Jiwei.
He thought it must have something to do with the jade pendant he had cultivated on Lao Nie’s behalf. Indeed, now that he thought about it, that might in fact be the problem – he had cultivated the pendant, not Lao Nie, and he had done it using Jiwei’s spiritual energy. A Nie saber had only one master, but he had apparently won enough of Jiwei’s respect for her to allow him access to some part of her; just as Lao Nie had intertwined himself with his saber, so to had Lan Qiren, albeit unknowingly and at a distance. There was certainly no overly intimate sharing of qi between them, but they had an undeniable connection. That might explain it.
There was also the ongoing mystery of why the pendant burned so fiercely. It had always been reactive to Jiwei’s anger, full of her spiritual energy and spillover rage as it was, but Jiwei was gone – shattered. Whose energy was powering it now? And how could it maintain such a high level of energy, so hot as to damage someone like Lan Qiren, who while not martially inclined was still a powerful cultivator in his own right?
He had more questions than answers.
Unfortunately, he did not have a great deal of time to find answers. If Lao Nie’s condition persisted – he hoped that it wouldn’t, that his friend would wake knowing who Lan Qiren was and not in a horrible rage, but he wasn’t optimistic – they would need to find a solution, and fast. Lao Nie was the unquestioned master of his sect and even he’d only managed to leave it behind for a month and a half before his duties forced him to return; Lan Qiren was a substitute for his brother, a pale and inferior custodian put in place solely to fill the time between the generations, and his sect elders would never let him forget it. There was no way he would be able to stay away so long.
And if he left

“Jiwei,” Lao Nie murmured in his sleep, which had become restless. His face had gone from a neutral expression to a frown, twisted in anger and pain, and when he opened his eyes, they were once again red. The music was not helping. “My saber – Jiwei
where is my saber?” Lao Nie struggled to sit up. “Where is it? Give her to me!”
Lan Qiren stopped playing and reached out his hand, interlocking his fingers with Lao Nie’s as if they were back once again to all those years ago when he had been a slow, stuttering child and Lao Nie a kind young adult, taking him in hand to show him the basics of night-hunting without worrying about him falling over his own feet.
He watched as the red slowly faded out of Lao Nie’s eyes – not gone entirely, still there, a thin pink film that seemed as though it could be blinked out of existence.
He sighed.
“My friend,” he said. “I am going to need your help with this.”
“Anything,” Lao Nie said, then paused and amended to, “Anything that won’t cause undue harm.”
“It involves research.”
“
one could argue that that would be undue harm to my ability to enjoy my free time.”
Lan Qiren shook his hand lightly. “You are in need of healing. Do you understand what I am saying?”
The humor slowly faded out of Lao Nie’s face.
“You had a qi deviation,” Lan Qiren said bluntly. “The one you’ve been afraid of, the one you always knew was coming – it happened. You went mad, years before your time. But you did not die, and so there is still hope
but I will need your help. I will need you to try to get better. I cannot do this without you.”
Lao Nie looked at him, lips pressed together tightly.
Lan Qiren waited, patient. Whatever the reason for it, Lao Nie regained much of his clarity when they were in contact – and if he could think, he could be an ally in this. He would have to be.
“The strangers weren’t strangers, were they,” Lao Nie said abruptly, and it wasn’t a question. Lan Qiren looked at him. “A-Jue
I was the one who did that to him, wasn’t I? I was the one that hurt him. That’s why you wouldn’t tell me about it yesterday.”
Lan Qiren nodded.
Lao Nie looked away, angry – real anger, this time, and entirely self-directed – but it was only a few moments before he collected himself and looked back, his eyes bright with tears but fiercely determined. “What can I do to help?”
“For now, answer my questions, no matter how unusual,” Lan Qiren instructed, and Lao Nie nodded. “First question: who am I?”
“
Jiwei.”
They were still there, then, although Lao Nie sounded much less sure about it than he had the night before. Lan Qiren fumbled for the pendant at his waist. “Can you sense the spiritual energy in this? Whose is it?”
Lao Nie reached for the pendant and focused. “Also Jiwei.” This time, he sounded more confident.
“The energy in the pendant exceeds what I previously put in there,” Lan Qiren said. “Do you know why?”
Lao Nie frowned down at the pendant. “I’m not sure,” he said. “Have you cultivated with it recently?”
Lan Qiren arched his eyebrows, think that that would be rather difficult without Jiwei around to transfer energy from. “No, I haven’t. Why?”
“There’s something strange about it, that’s all.” He shook the pendant lightly. “Familiar. Same as you, but not; same as me, but not. It wants to fly.”
Lan Qiren stared at him blankly.
Lao Nie shrugged and scratched at his beard. “What did A-Jue say about it?”
“
Mingjue?” Lan Qiren asked blankly. “Say? About what?”
Lao Nie blinked at him. “Well, he’s the only other one with a similar pendant, right?”
Actually, Lan Qiren had made one for little Nie Huaisang, too – he used it as the base of his fan tassel, transferred from one fan to another – but it wasn’t really relevant to him yet, weak cultivator that he was. But that was a good point: in his fear for Nie Mingjue’s health, his worry for his safety, he had forgotten that Nie Mingjue was the closest thing they had to another perspective on the connection between pendant and saber.
Lan Qiren frowned at his oversight. “I’ll ask Mingjue to join us.”
Nie Mingjue looked better already, even if Lan Qiren’s heart hurt at how cautious he was around his father, at how Lao Nie could barely stand to look at the colorful bruises littering his son’s face. “What can I do?”
“Take this pendant,” Lao Nie said, holding it out.
Nie Mingjue extended his hand in return and Lao Nie dropped the pendant into it before Lan Qiren could intervene and point out why it was a terrible idea to just hand it over to someone who was both unprepared and little more than a child, however talented a genius he might be. The second it touched Nie Mingjue’s palm, he yelped and nearly dropped it, Lan Qiren snatching it away from him with his free hand before it could fall to the floor.
“It hurts!” he exclaimed, as Lan Qiren might have expected.
What he did not expect, however, was that Baxia abruptly drew herself, hurtling out of her sheath to hang in midair, emanating the distinct sensation of rage that was the characteristic of a Nie saber.
The pendant abruptly flared up, the heat in it rising as if in response to Baxia’s challenge, and Lan Qiren had to temporarily free himself from Lao Nie to quickly loop a guqin string through the pendant, letting it dangle away from his flesh, and then returned his hand to his friend before the red got too far into his eyes.
“What in the world is going on?” he demanded. “Lao Nie – explain.”
“I have no idea,” Lao Nie said, rubbing his eyes as if he realized something had happened to him in the brief interlude where they were separated. “They’re
fighting. I think? How can they be fighting? Why would a saber start a fight with a piece of jade?”
“Can you ask Baxia?” Lan Qiren asked Nie Mingjue, who was still clutching at his hand and looking blankly at them both. “I know it doesn’t exactly work as cleanly as all that, but your father always said you had an unusually strong connection
”
Nie Mingjue reached out and caught Baxia by the hilt, brow creased in a frown. “It really doesn’t work that way, Teacher Lan. All I can tell is that she’s angry.” He hesitated. “She feels betrayed.”
“Betrayed?” Lan Qiren asked, surprised. “But – how can she be betrayed? That would imply an initial association, familiarity, that something changed
”
“Jiwei,” Lao Nie suddenly said. He was staring at the pendant swinging in Lan Qiren’s hand. “Jiwei’s in the pendant.”
Nie Mingjue glanced at Lan Qiren, clearly concerned that his father had simply started seeing Jiwei in everything, but Lan Qiren bit his lip, thinking it over seriously.
He had initially thought that the reason for Lao Nie’s mistaken impression of him was because he had cultivated with the pendant using Jiwei’s energy, acting in Lao Nie’s place, and thereby he had been imprinted with the qi of the saber, that it had been that shadow upon him that Lao Nie had recognized.
But what if he had thought about it backwards?
“Is it possible,” he said slowly, wishing he knew more about the saber spirits, wishing that he’d had more time, wishing even that his Xinfei could speak as clearly as a saber could, “Mingjue, is it possible that Jiwei’s spirit is in the pendant? The saber spirit itself, I mean, as opposed to the physical saber?”
Nie Mingjue goggled at him. “In the pendant, Teacher Lan? A saber? But how?”
“I tied the two together using resonance,” Lan Qiren explained. Poor tone-deaf Nie Mingjue had never really understood what he was doing with his music, which Lan Qiren couldn’t blame him for – it was esoteric even by musical cultivation standards. He’d more or less made the entire thing up over the past few years. “Adjusting the internal music of the jade to match Jiwei, so that the two recognized each other – and, once recognized, forged a connection between them. That’s what allowed me to continue to draw out Jiwei’s anger even from a distance.”
Both Nie nodded, listening intently. Good students, both of them, for all their occasional faults; if only he had three dozen like them. As a teacher, it was the highest compliment he knew to speak.
“The unusual heat started, as far as we can tell, when the saber shattered,” he continued, now thinking out loud. “If Jiwei’s anger can transfer from one container to the other through the pathway forged by the resonance, why couldn’t the rest of her spirit do the same? Why couldn’t she come to possess the jade if she so wished?”
He wasn’t sure what to do with that idea, in all fairness – he might speak of questioning the sabers, might have reluctantly accepted them as having some form of sentience, but the idea of an entire spirit transferring from one body to another within the same lifetime in a method not unlike possession was rather disturbing. But at the same time he couldn’t imagine any other reason for Baxia to try to challenge a jade pendant to a duel.
Proud, strong Baxia, the only match to Nie Mingjue’s matchless talent, so fearsome that even other saber spirits yielded before her

“But –” Nie Mingjue glanced sidelong at his father. “Teacher Lan, he also thinks you’re Jiwei.”
“Because I cultivated the pendant,” Lan Qiren said, because it made a certain amount of sense. “There are two types of spiritual energy in there: Jiwei’s and my own. Perhaps when I offered him the pendant, he recognized Jiwei in there, and also me, and thereby conflated the two
”
“I’m right here, you know,” Lao Nie interjected. “Being talked about as if I’m not.”
Lan Qiren leveled a quelling look at him.
Lao Nie gave him an arch look in return. “Just reminding you that I understand spoken speech, in the event you’ve forgotten.”
“Very well,” Lan Qiren said tetchily. “In that case, who I am again?”
Lao Nie paused, eyes traveling between Lan Qiren, the pendant dangling from his hand, and Nie Mingjue.
“You feel like Jiwei,” he said hesitantly. “But – the strangers felt like strangers, and weren’t. So you’re – not Jiwei. You’re
” He glanced at Nie Mingjue again, seeking external confirmation that his senses were misleading him; Nie Mingjue nodded eagerly. His gaze slide back to Lan Qiren. “Qiren?”
“Well done,” Lan Qiren said, full of relief. “Full marks, passing grade. Would it be possible for you to stop calling me ‘sweetheart’ and ‘darling’ now?”
Lao Nie – despite being the shameless scoundrel that he was – abruptly flushed bright red, while Nie Mingjue covered his face with his hands.
“I understand, of course,” Lan Qiren assured him. “What passes between a man and his spiritual weapon is very private, and –”
“Stop talking,” Lao Nie growled. “Just – stop talking.”
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