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fanfictiondreamscape · 5 years ago

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S/O Volunteers at a Daycare

Request: Im not entirely sure how to request but I did read your rules! So is it alright if I request DTK and Ciel with an S/O who works at her mother’s daycare during the weekends?

Title: S/O Volunteers at a Daycare

Genre: fluff abound, and maybe a little comedic

Pairing: Death the Kid/Ciel Phantomhive x Reader (separately)

Notes: Okay, so this prompt made me flat out UwU shamelessly. Seriously, this was an adorable idea! That said, these are two of my favorite characters, so this made it even better!

So, thanks for the request! It made me feel bubbly and motivated, despite being almost stuck over the past week. Otherwise, the only things I would want to make you aware of are that I wrote them as headcanons because I felt that they would work best for the request, I tried to provide a small story for each set of headcanons, and - I think that’s it! I hope you enjoy it! (It also may be a little short, sorry!)

Below the cut!

Death the Kid

straight outta the gate, he knew about your work at your mother’s daycare

he had to deal with a particularly dangerous kishin that attacked the workplace a while back, and he saw you as he took care of the tainted soul despite you already prepared to use your arm to fight against the monster

but what he didn’t know was that you worked so well with the children.

your intelligence is what drew him to you, and though he had his suspicions about your great understanding of children

this was unexpected.

he seriously thought that you would be more likely to take up the receptionist position.

you were very sociable, so that was where he thought you’d decide to volunteer as it would utilize your sociability and intelligence.

but this was odd.

he was patrolling around Death City, not failing to notice what he needed to

but this?

yeah, no - this was new.

he saw you and your mother, standing outside beside the playground with the kindergarteners

pushing them on the swings and lifting them onto higher structures if needed

frankly, the sight was adorable.

he noticed the way your eyes lit up when you were around the children, almost a motherly appeal in them

and when he saw the whole picture, he was even more starstruck by you.

you are so good with children,.

like seriously.

most of the time, they look at him and look away or decide to make a fuss about his - shiver - hair.

so this was something only he could dream about.

it’s only when he brings this up to you that you realize he had seen you that day.

“so, dear, you volunteer at the kindergarten downtown?”

holdup-

“uh...yeah. why are you asking?”

“well, i was asking on behalf of an event that you could participate in.”

turns out he wanted to invite the kids to see the DWMA, and wanted to know if you’d be willing to go with him and guide the group despite it being a weekday.

if your mom was down, so were you

luckily, your mom was ecstatic

and lord death was 100% down for it

so this was happening

eventually the day came, and all of the students were so happy to hear that they would be seeing the big school that they always saw from different points in town.

when they saw you, though, they all ran to hug you tightly.

the sight made kid a little jealous lol

either way, they also spotted the boy beside you, and a few of them questioned who he was.

so, before he could go on a formal route, you stopped and introduced him yourself

“his name is death the kid, and he’s lord death’s son.”

“is he your boyfriend?”

cue the matching tomato faces

your mom knew, she loved him

and normally she would stop this immediately,

but the scene right in front of her eyes was entertaining and not harmful so-

the tour of the school started, and as you and kid introduced the rooms and class system to the kids,

he had an almost vice-grip on your hand the whole time.

sometimes, his grip could be painful, but this was one of those secure ones where you didn’t feel like you were going to slip at any second.

it made you feel happier, maybe a little more confident to present what you were presenting

until it hit lunchtime, where the children gathered around you and listened intently as you told stories of goings-on at the DWMA

kid and your mom listened to the occurrence from behind

“so you and my daughter?”

“miss/ms./mrs., if i may-”

overall, though, the whole scene left the dual color-haired teen feeling even more happiness at the sight of you.

intelligent, gorgeous, talented, and kind and sweet?

what more could a man want than someone as perfect as you?

following the tour, you and kid sat down and talked.

after some time, you and him came to the conclusion to take him with you sometimes.

because some of the kids really were starting to like him.

eventually, it became a common occurrence for him to join you when volunteering on the weekends.

at one point, they targeted kid and called him big brother when you brought him to the kindergarten.

so yeah, you and kids? the sight is the perfect way to get him to turn firetruck red, so use it.

and him and kids? vice versa, he can and will use it.

Ciel Phantomhive

listen, he knows you’re the closest thing to an actually good angel

but this was a whole new level of angel

he never really completely understood why you decided to do what you do, but he knows you’re pure-hearted

so could someone please explain to short blueberry wealth over here why he was surprised to see that you volunteered at a kindergarten?

let’s just say that when your mom was called upon to answer questions about the last time she had seen a notorious burglary suspect

and he saw you interacting with the children inside on his way out.

he blushed.

he couldn’t help it! the scene was too cute, and it made him feel something domestic!

(yeah, sebastian had a field day with the scene of ciel trying to cover his completely red face with his outerwear.)

anyway, the event made him see you in an even brighter light.

your kindness knows no bounds, does it?

either way, he had to uphold an image.

as much as he wanted to gush about how sweet it made him feel and how much more beautiful it made you, he couldn’t

whether that was because he just couldn’t be overly sweet by nature or if it was his mature aura he had to exude to do business, he didn’t know

but yeah

he loved the image, and he went to any lengths to see it happen.

in fact, he took some extreme lengths for the children the kindergarten.

after doing some basic research on the kindergarten, it didn’t charge much for people to send their children there.

at all.

so he became aware that it was a kindergarten for poor families.

(and he became flustered again. sebastian saw, teased him for it, then got commanded to clean up whatever mess the other servants of the manor had made.)

with this knowledge, he had specifically asked for Funtom toys to be sent to the kindergarten and gifted to the children.

he originally planned to keep his name out of the endeavor, but that plan went bust when he remembered the image.

again, the domesticity that he felt from the image just-

yeah, he was blushing again

and this was his reason behind showing up at the kindergarten and formally giving the children the toys.

you hadn’t known that he was going to do this, so your shocked face was very obvious.

the kids were shocked, but very grateful.

one of them even called him brother, and though it was odd, he found the statement oddly endearing and awkwardly patted the small boy’s head.

that’s when you blushed.

after all of the children had their gifts and were sent off for nap time, your mother thanked him face-to-face.

you were stood beside her in the doorway, trying to simultaneously keep an eye on the children and keep an eye on your short significant other

the blush never left your cheeks, and as you saw his hesitance to show any real “emotion” (if you get what i mean) you chuckled.

ciel still found the image so loving, and he still couldn’t help but get flustered but,

after all of this and the many times after that he provided support for either the kindergarten itself or the kids, you started to tease him.

(on the sidelines, sebastian was teasing the two of you which always resulted in him being instructed to do some offhand task elsewhere as a ploy to get him to leave the room)

(good times)

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chaotic-neutral-toga · 5 years ago

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i’ve spent the entire time since my last post on this and holy fuck i want to fall into a coma

um okay i just thought up a zodiac based story plot thing and uyvbuhyb

okay so there’s this god-like thing but not exactly gods, i guess the “souls” of concepts, maybe?? so like those ones are infinite, not really but like they are, it’s confusing on purpose, but the zodiac are one of a kind each, Thing is they’re kinda destructive. Some do it because they can/want to, some do it because they don’t understand what’s wrong with it (they weren’t really ‘disciplined” or “taught”, so morality is kinda lost on them), and some are more kind, but still dangerous. In classic story fashion, they get sent down to the human world to become accustomed to morals, ethics, and just having a more grounded life. anyway characters

Pisces is autistic (yes im projecting a little) and destruction was the her way of stimming (other than snuggling in a hug with someone). When she gets to Earth, she does things that are “weird” to humans, since out of all of the zodiacs, she has the hardest time grasping the concept of the human world besides stuff she already knew(water and other stuff her sign rules). She’s fairly kind and compassionate, but has no tolerance for liars or anyone that gets on her bad side, which is a side even Aries sweats over. She likes puns (once they’re explained to her), and never understands innuendos or dirty jokes unless they’re really obvious. [Colors for her design: Mauve, Lilac, Violet, Sea Green. Closest Relationships: Virgo and Taurus. Human Name: Clementine.] Panromantic Demisexual

Aries is a bit reckless/destructive, to the point of idiotic sometimes, but he really does have the best intentions with most things he does. You can’t really blame someone for not knowing what they shouldn't do when they were never taught they had limits or boundaries that could be pushed. He can be bossy at times, but it’s usually because he knows his fellow Zodiacs well, and he can tell when they need someone to tell them what to do before they end up arguing over different ideas. Fire is the element he rules over, therefore it was one of the few human concepts he knew, so he took a quick liking to smores; it’s a sweet thing made over fire, what’s not to love? When he’s not riled up over something, he’s just a really passionate and affectionate friend. He identifies as an Androgynous Trigender, sometimes feeling like a boy, sometimes a girl, and sometimes agender, while preferring to use he/him pronouns. [Colors for his design: Red why the fuck does he only get 1 color wtf is this inequality. Closest Relationships: Libra and Leo. Human Name: Everett.] Aromantic Asexual(will kiss the homies uwu)

Taurus is pretty calm, but they can and will destroy you(verbally). They speak their mind and try their best to be honest, even if the truth is painful or undesirable. When dealing with problems, he keeps a straight face(facade or not), but lets his emotions out when it’s over (aka pouting as Cancer give them calming head pats). Because they’re one of the only ones who took to cooking (and one of the quickest to become relatively easily-adjusted to Earth), at times, they tend to be in a sort of parental role when interacting with the others. They can get frustrated with too much stress (aka more calming head pats), but they can usually work through it well enough. When it comes to love, he becomes flustered surprisingly easy, though this is technically hypothetical, as they haven’t encountered any romantic situations yet. Upon coming to Earth, Taurus discovered he’s allergic to reptiles, especially snakes, which makes his friendship with Scorpio, who will not give up his precious boop noodle, a bit rocky. He uses he/they pronouns. [Colors for his design: Green, Pink. Closest Relationships: Scorpio and Cancer. Human Name: Beau, pronounced Bo.] Gay

Gemini was probably the most optimistic of the bunch when they were first sent to Earth; she isn’t reckless, but she does live for the thrill. She has fun watching drama as long as it’s just harmless bickering, and she’ll stop any serious fights. She's a bit slow at reading the air sometimes, which is one of the few things that make her feel insecure. Even if she comes off as prideful or uncaring, she truly does treasure all her friends, and would move mountains for them. She is an ADHD Lesbian, so she has the awful pun of GA(Y)DHD. [Colors for her design: Light-Green, Yellow. Closest Relationships: Sagittarius and Aquarius. Human Name: Mikaela.] Lesbian

Virgo has a somewhat obvious crush on Pisces- not everyone knows, but it’s not rocket science for the observant ones- and Pisces thinks he’s just being a really great friend.(Virgo: I am stoic and distant and won’t open my heart to anyone. Pisces: Hi! Virgo: FUCK-). It’s easy for him to stress or obsess over something, and not give himself any room for imperfection. He’s one of the less outwardly destructive zodiacs, but internally, he tries to do too much and puts too much pressure on himself, which is never a good thing to do. Sometimes due to stress, he’ll isolate himself for a bit, but he gets very touch-starved very easily.. which makes it even more confusing how the snugly Pisces doesn't notice his feelings. [Colors for his design: Grey, Beige, Pale-Yellow. Closest Relationships: Pisces and Cancer. Human Name: Ezra.] get em boys, we found a Hetero

Libra is a quiet one, usually collecting information from afar before interjecting. He likes being helpful since he’s aware that he sometimes overthinks interaction. Asking him questions can be confusing, as he usually answers with simple “yes”’s and “no”’s. He enjoys reading fairytales; no real reason, he just likes them. He has Sensory Processing Disorder, which simultaneously makes him the dad and the baby of the group. [Colors for his design: Pink, Green. Closest Relationships: Aries and Sagittarius. Human Name: Libra, which is luckily an actual greek name.] Bi

Leo is a rowdy girl to say the least. She’s loves just horsing around with her friends, usually in the manner of play-fighting and tackle hugs. If you didn’t guess, she’s one of the more destructive Zodiacs, even on Earth. She denies ever doing things when confronted, though it doesn’t work most of the time (”Whaaat, I didn’t break that vase, that was Aries, right bro?” “Hey, don’t pin this on me!” “BRO-”). She is extremely loyal to the people she cares for, which could cross into naivety if she chose the wrong person as her friend. While she definitely isn't the motherly type, if one of her friends really needs to be comforted, she’ll sit them on her lap and stroke their head(she stronk owo). Though normally upbeat, she becomes somber in grim-looking situations, to the point of pessimistic. [Colors for her design: Gold, Yellow, Orange. Closest Relationships: Aquarius and Gemini. Human Name: Amaterasu.] Demiromantic Asexual

Scorpio has a pet boop noodle(baby ball python) that he almost stole before Taurus payed for it, which is when they discovered Taurus is allergic. They’re an overall cold and distant person, but they’re not completely shut-off; they just have a hard time warming up to people. Because of this, he holds grudges for a long time when his carefully-placed trust is betrayed. He seems to sometimes just appear and disappear during discussions with anyone noticing until he suddenly speaks up or they want to talk to him(spoiler alert: he’s just quiet). He’s very cute and peaceful when sleeping. [Colors for his design: Scarlet, Red, Rust. Closest Relationships: Taurus and Cancer. Human Name: Phoenix.] Arospike Aceflux

Cancer is very much a big sister to most, if not all, the Zodiacs. She has a caring air about her and can adjust to suit the boundaries of her friends. She herself is quite sensitive- though no one’s ever seen her like that- and she never wants her friends to feel that way. Besides that, she takes great interest in human pleasantries, such as sweet food, cameras, and lullabies. While she prefers to be the mediator during fights, if someone, say, insulted her friend and wouldn’t back off, she would lash back with a stone cold fury; the shock value alone gives her an advantage in those situations. [Colors for her design: White again with only one color wtf im adding my own, Pale-Orange, Various Yellows. Closest Relationships: Capricorn and Taurus. Human Name: June.] Questioning Asexual

Sagittarius is one of those aggressively positive people, saying what they want with no filter. They don’t take any shit from anyone, no matter who they are. She’s very free-spirited, but she’s not unguided; she knows what she wants and when she wants it. She’s never really hurt by anything, brushing and laughing things off almost immediately. She can get quite impatient, to the point of childishly whining. I’d bet 50 bucks that she was the first Zodiac to “discover” alcohol. [Colors for her design: Blue, Deep Purples, Browns. Closest Relationships: Gemini and Aries. Human Name: Nova.] Butch Grey-Aromantic Homosexual/Femmesexual

Aquarius is an analytical and selfless individual. They approach solutions to situations practically and objectively, even if their heart tells them otherwise. They keep their emotions bottled up most of the time, and if they’re doing something, there’s a high chance they’re doing it for someone else. Before, that was okay, since it was just the Zodiacs; but on Earth, it makes her a bit of a doormat. She’s one of the more morally-misguided Zodiacs, and she can’t really identify when something is criminal. She has a hard time remembering that she can’t say things like “human pleasantries” or call people insignificant compared to herself. They like being alone a lot, but they’re not antisocial. [Colors for her design: Light-Blue, Silver. Closest Relationships: Leo and Sagittarius. Human Name: Aqua no she did not try.] Aromantic Asexual(will not kiss the homies u~u)

Capricorn is pretty much “i’m surrounded by idiots”, but they’re his idiots and he knows he loves them. He doesn't look anything special, but he can and will throw you across the room if you fuck with him or his idiots, especially when he’s tired. He is peak sarcastic bitch and has pretty solid bullshit detector. If one of the Zodiacs is asleep where they shouldn’t be or they’re just leaving somewhere, he usually hoists them over his shoulder. He’s generally reserved but the Hug Pile™, or really extreme amounts of platonic affection in general, make him really soft; half because he’s surprised that they honestly care for him that much. [Colors for his design: Brown, Black, Grey, Yellow, Yellow-Orange. Closest Relationships: Taurus and Cancer. Human Name: Kai.] Aromantic Asexual(will be kissed by the homies owo)

holy fukcing shit is that it. am i finally fucking done. oh sweet jesus im crying this took me so fucking long

sorry if anyone was worried about me, i’m fine. Art, drabbles, and headcanons for this are allowed, but please link this post and/or tag me(or just send it in asks). i’ll try to be productive on this, tho itll probably be in the form of mini scenarios and incorrect quotes.

Here are the songs that kept me from kms while i made this: Lost One’s Weeping by Neru, Namine Ritsu-Error by kyaami, Yukune Ruko-I Don’t Wanna Know by Narcissus, Nakakapagpabagabag by Dasu, Madness of Duke Venomania Eng Sub by IkuSuperbia, v flower-Close to You by kyaami, My Nocturnal Serenade by YOHIO, Len’s Growl-Ghost Rule by Teto Chan!, Fukase English-Never Gonna Give You Up, Fukase English-Your Reality.

pls feed me validation on this i tried so hard my brain hurts

#my story #big post #zodiac #zodiac story #human zodiac

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hellsbellschime · 5 years ago

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Hi, love your meta’s. I read earlier that you haven’t done a meta comparing Klaus and Damon, but do you think you could do one? Just explaining why they are different and which one is in your opinion better (as far as complexity, characterization, development, and whatever else you could think of goes) and just which one you prefer.

It’s actually kind of bizarre to realize that I haven’t done a meta about this before, since TVD positioned both Klaus and Damon in the obvious position of the “crazy, impulsive vampire, in love with his brother’s girl”. And I think on the surface that Damon and Klaus were meant to be pretty similar, but I think that below the surface, either by accident or by design, they have some pretty stark differences that at least explain to me why I like Klaus so much and don’t like Damon very much at all.

In terms of the TVD world they’re both fairly developed and complex characters, and I think the most obvious similarity between them is that they’re the type of people to act now and think later. They’re also both the type who pretend to be absolutely fine with being the bad guy, but their behavior over time would indicate otherwise. But, at least in my mind, that is where the meaningful similarities between Damon and Klaus end.

Now that I’ve actually rewatched some TVD for the first time in literal years (and since I could do that with some of the lingering meta requests I have in my inbox in mind) I think what struck me about Damon’s behavior in contrast to Klaus’ is that while they both act out on their emotions without really thinking it through, Damon almost always tries to fix things afterwards whereas Klaus really does not.

It’s hard to say whether or not that’s a good thing or a bad thing, I mean theoretically it should be good that Damon at least tries to rectify the awful things that he’s done, but on the flip side of that, it feels like Damon often times excuses his own bad behavior because, in his own mind, he’ll just find a way to fix it later. And while he never actually fixes anything, he does find a way to reconnect with the people that he cares about, which is really the only thing that matters to him anyway.

But where I think Damon’s character development loses out when it comes to this pattern is in the fact that he can continually go through these bouts of absolutely insane, awful behavior, and then “fix it” without ever experiencing any self-reflection or introspection. Damon has found a system that works for him, which allows him to be the “bad guy” without actually having to believe that he’s the bad guy, and without actually forcing him to think about anything that he’s done in any meaningful or self-critical way.

And in a sense, that lack of self-criticism is something that is reflected in Damon’s relationships with other people. He almost always tries to hide or mitigate his behavior in the eyes of the people who matter to him, and while he wants them to love him, he’s also willing to lie in order to get them to care. Meaning, he is satisfied with people loving the false image of himself that he presents to them, and if the option is between being loved for being someone he’s not and not being loved for who he is, he’ll choose the former.

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In contrast to that, it seems like when Klaus screws up he almost never actually tries to “fix it”. He is also someone who (rightly) perceives himself to be the bad guy, even though, like Damon, a huge proportion of the bad things he does are done on impulse more than they’re done out of malice. He has a lot of complex feelings about being an objectively bad person, but again just as Damon does, he also uses his “bad guy” image as a shield. He psychologically allows himself to do many things he probably wouldn’t normally because he puts himself in the villain box.

So, while Damon messes up and then tries to make up for it later, Klaus almost never does that. He does manage to reconcile with the people who love him more often than not, but he’s very rarely apologetic and he very rarely tries to sincerely justify what he’s done to them either. Ironically, while Damon sort of pushes the situation on to the people around him and asks them to be the ones to think it through and deal with it, Klaus seems to cope with things and think them through almost entirely by himself.

Klaus is a completely self-loathing person, despite the fact that he pretends to be the opposite, and it seems safe to assume that that’s because he does horrible things on instinct or impulse but he really processes them internally afterwards. So of course, how could any remotely intelligent person see themselves as anything other than monstrous after doing the things that Klaus has done?

That is a huge way in which Klaus differs from Damon, and that difference expresses itself in one of the starkest ways, comparatively speaking. Damon doesn’t self-reflect, so he is satisfied with “fixing his mistakes” in an incredibly superficial way. If Elena and Stefan still care about him and engage with him after he does something terrible, then in his mind it’s no longer an issue, and it’s not something that he thinks about in relation to himself anymore.

But Klaus is not that way. He often times doesn’t try to fix it because he understands that there is no way to fix it, at least not sincerely. Klaus knows he doesn’t deserve forgiveness for the things that he’s done, so for the most part he doesn’t even ask for it. Unlike Damon, Klaus would rather be hated for who he really is than loved for someone that he’s not. I think that choice is something that is partially driven by insecurity and fear, but I also think that it’s just a result of Klaus spending a lot of time and energy analyzing himself and his own behavior, and how other people should and do relate to that.

Klaus desires love more than nearly anything else, however he has a very hard time believing that anyone would ever love him. But because this is something that is simultaneously an all-consuming desire and something that he really never gets, he’s desperate for whatever love he gets to be “real”. He wants to be seen for who he really is, even if that reality is terrible, and he’d rather be loathed for being himself than be loved for being someone else.

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And although Damon and Klaus had a lot of interactions throughout the show, I think most people rightfully point out the “what is it you say to her” as their most meaningful interaction. And of course, I agree with that assessment, and I think that the difference between the two in this scenario really speaks to their differences as characters.

The idea of Klaus asking Damon for interpersonal relationship advice and Damon offering it is actually one of the funniest moments in the series, because you could not find two assholes who are worse at creating, maintaining, or developing relationships with other people. It’s actually priceless that Klaus even asked, because anyone with a lick of common sense would realize that it’s a horrible idea.

However, Klaus does have common sense, so the fact that he actually did ask speaks to his ability to self-reflect even more, in my mind. Damon is the last person anyone should seek out for relationship advice, but I think what Klaus picked up on here is the fact that he and Damon both do equally terrible impulsive things, and Damon does manage to maintain relationships with other people in spite of it. So he’s not asking because Damon can give good advice, he’s asking because Damon can potentially give advice that is relevant to him.

Damon’s assessment of the situation and difference between them is unsurprisingly incorrect. Damon’s excuse is that he does what he does with purpose, whereas Klaus just does them to be a dick. That is untrue of their behavior on both ends, because Klaus does do a lot of things with a specific purpose behind them and Damon does tons of stuff just to be a dick. However, that is a perfect example of how Damon rationalizes his own behavior and only looks at it in an incredibly superficial way.

Damon telling himself that he only does these things because he needs to allows him to do whatever he wants for whatever reason he deems necessary while still telling himself that the real him is better than that. The bad guy mantle is just a hat he puts on when it’s needed and it’s something he can take off when he wants. Klaus on the other hand might rationalize things in that way to the people around him, but he doesn’t make those rationalizations to himself.

To me what is most interesting in this interaction is that Klaus asks for Damon’s advice but he doesn’t take it. Klaus actually asking for anyone’s advice, ever, is enormous, so it’s clear that he wouldn’t have done that if he hadn’t actually wanted to rectify things with Caroline somehow. Klaus showing any form of vulnerability is rare, so why would he show that vulnerable side to Damon of all people? Well, because it actually meant something.

So the fact that Klaus doesn’t take Damon’s advice is very telling. He doesn’t take it because he doesn’t choose to rationalize what he’s done, to himself or to Caroline. Klaus is extremely adept at manipulating and tricking people, so the fact that he refuses to do it in some instances goes to show how little that ability means to him in a true emotional level. If he wanted to fool everyone into believing that he was someone he wasn’t, he could very easily do that. So the fact that he chooses not to, and that he would rather have Caroline (or Rebekah, or Elijah, or Stefan) hate him for the real him than love him for the fake him is huge. And for me, that is the biggest difference between Klaus and Damon.

#klaus mikaelson #damon salvatore #tvd #the vampire diaries #klaus mikaelson meta #damon salvatore meta #tvd meta #the vampire diaries meta #Anonymous

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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 years ago

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another prompt saga

April 8th: Talk about friendship. How important are friends to you? Do you find it hard to make and maintain friendships? Are your friends generally supportive? Is there anything about having friends that confuses you?

another big question for me to go on plenty of tangents lol

well i haven't often had friends Really, there's like, being amicable with classmates, being friends with people While We're At School Together, being friendly acquaintances lmfao, or like, the occasional "yeah ig we're sort of friends, not exactly very close tho" lol and then rarely where yeah i'd call someone a close friend, although naturally, it's not like i completely discount those other, less close relationships. and, even more so, not like overall i'm like "oh friendship? yeah that's pretty frivolous and unimportant and it's just something mildly entertaining vs the Real Shit & True Emotional Support & Love of your biological family and romantic soulmate" lol, Friends Are Important and it's entirely serious 2 me

also natch i Do find it hard to make and maintain friendships lol. goes back to like, preschool and being around a bunch of age peers regularly for the first time, where my "best friend" defaulted to this one person who sought out interacting with me when i was otherwise doing my own thing during preschool recess, and i was pretty enthused about getting invited to a bday party one kid invited a bunch of us to, because that was like, a Friend thing, and a fun social thing, and i was included.....that i Do remember just feeling like, socially, everyone else was playing a game i didn't know the rules to and so couldn't expect to participate and, furthermore, i ought to stay out of the way of whatever everyone else was doing, where i Did often choose to do stuff by myself, but it's like, you know, the way "autistic" is even used figuratively (which. i have a lot of disdain for) because it's like oh the defining thing really is that telltale "doesn't want to interact with other people or form relationships, probably because also they have no feelings / normal and intrinsic qualities of Humanity" but it's like, if you pay any attention or god forbid ask autistic people about their own experiences, sure everyone has their own varying social approach and anyone might not always be raring to be the center of the party or Not want to do their own thing, but it's not that oh all autistic people aren't interested in social connection, but that like even when you are a small child it's like, oh all these other kids are interacting in this way that isn't really my social style and that shuts me out, and/or attempting to interact with people results in this even subtle, quiet rejection / exclusion that can be picked up on. i wasn't making friends and was often keeping to myself / keeping my head down as it were, but it wasn't because i didn't want to have friends or socialize. my mom was insistent i was a Shy Child lmao and i'd always argue that i wasn't Really, without further explanation though lmao, but it's like, again that i felt that sort of emergent exclusion, and there wasn't any space to interact much on my terms at all, and like, yeah i often stayed quiet / didn't want to mingle with other kids / if i was in a Situation i wanted to know the How To of navigating it / what to expect

being friends with people at school was fine, except the drawbacks of stuff like "we're only interacting at school, rarely hanging out outside of that" & "someone in the same grade is in a diff class in elementary school so we just never see each other now" & "for some reason that 2nd grade teacher made a whole giant Example out of me and a friend, god forbid, not paying attention or whatever the fuck, so now i feel like we can't interact at all anymore" & "changing schools entirely between elementary / middle / college" & "not being in school" lmao similar to work friends too, we're At Work, might not see each other outside of that, might change jobs & stop seeing each other, & still overall rare, b/c the Preschool Experience never Really stopped imo, had different versions of it even into college and like, being at jobs with other adults lmao, socializing is still Like That, came up with the Je Ne Hate Quoi where like, people kind of just Know to exclude you / consider you an exception to whatever other social stuff is going on.

and then like, the difficulties even when socializing / interactions Are happening, where like, it's always funny like. i'm very Verbose / Chatty and very opinionated but like, this will surprise people, that i Talk actually and have a ton of takes, b/c i was keeping to myself / not sharing that with them and so it's like well, that must of course be the realest version of me, no way i was filtering myself, i just must have Not Wanted to talk, and/or had nothing to say & hence no thoughts or feelings i might wanna share lol, of course....and tbh like, it sure Can be true that i don't wanna talk lmao like. i wanna talk About Stuff that isn't really "personal" generally, which can be like, yeah i wanna talk about this book, or about birds, or about this trivia topic, or whatever, whereas idk so much how to do like small talk about your day or otherwise share Casual things about Yourself, like, idk, being aware my interests are things about Myself but also aware that it's Weird / wasn't the kind of stuff you were supposed to talk about, and i felt that things about my life were otherwise Not The Right Stuff, or too boring (never hanging out, not doing much except being at home reading / doing shit by myself or w/siblings) or too Unfun (able to pick up the sense that At Home Shittiness was a private matter lol......) and it'd be like, idk what to say, things about myself don't seem to fit..........but also it can be that i do not enjoy the Vibe of an interaction lmfaoooo like, i truly do not want to talk to you people. like that i can sometimes vibe with someone inebriated people better lmfao because then, idk, they have some sense of humor and can muster some enthusiasm for anything, but also i'm not really a fan of knowing that someone isn't sober lmfao like. ppl will be like "omg were you drunk" like no, that was just my personality, whereas i am not Heartened to know other ppl Will have to have been drunk to get on my level, for example, don't understand when people cannot muster being even a little silly. it's goofaround hours. but then you have like, being around a bunch of cishet people when they're drunk, and their humor is as nonexistent and boring as ever but they're even louder / more insistent about it, nightmare. and, yknow, just people talking and i'm like "i'm not interested in this at all, whether re: conversational Style or Subject, i would not want to participate" and times when it's like. i know if i was gonna chime in with what i Would say you would not be able to handle me here lmfaoooo so. i truly would prefer examining the wall and thinking about my own shit or texting with someone i do like talking with

but that yknow, in groups / conversations i would be at least someone interested in, i can still be like, idk, Hesitant To Talk b/c of all the instances you've been taught like oh you're socializing Wrong and everyone hated that, sorta like the post about making a comment about salsa that brings the gc to a halt and you're wondering how you fucked up and if salsa killed someone's parents and forgot or whatever, i've been Disheartened re: hanging out when it's like, well, nice to be included, but i'm a friendship third wheel here, not being included in the entire convo and nobody misses it, there's been instances where it's like, two people talking, i chime in, i am completely ignored multiple times, this is frustrating lmao. or there's been times i've tried to put myself out there in a way, like yeah sure i'll hang out with this group, but also i'm anxious and it's like, if people are doing homework i'm also bringing this thing i'm working on as this parallel task, only to find out down the line like people then regarded you as a joke or something b/c it was Rude or Wrong when you know, actually that was you reading some weird shit that didn't exist into the situation, and just like, idk it's wild how people will have like "graciously" declined to express something to your face, and you either can pick up on shit at the time but not be able to say anything which just reads to people like "oh they didn't notice this / that means you can push it a little further next time even" or like, figure out later that something that seemed positive or decent actually ft. people not liking you / not wanting to include you Yet Again, and as a bonus you're left with you know, having to always worry about if people Seemingly being amicable & accepting is actually them wishing you weren't there or solidifying some Interpretations of you that they're then gonna Talk About or Act On behind the scenes, like, beautiful thank you, always very touching, so glad you were so Considerate of someone's feelings and Nice about this where it just ends up being this whole letdown / feeling like even more of a rejection if there was this weird like stringing along lmao like. can allistic people be normal for five minutes

anyways and tied to that sort of, it's also like, simultaneously Cagey About Things and always worried about like, i could tell this person this thing and maybe it'd be Incorrect for the interaction and they won't care, whether because it's too mundane and boring a thing about you or because it's too #Real, i think i glimpsed something a month or so ago about like "do other autistic people have trouble where like, you can be friends with someone a long time but not get particular Close to them" or whatever lol, where like, well i have to hold everyone at arm's length and often Then Some because there's just matter of fact stuff about me that i nonetheless think i can't or shouldn't share, if i talked about something it might be out of the blue b/c i just was hardly confiding in people about it, or it's boring, or it's like, i don't actually feel like i'm close enough with this person that saying this isn't gonna be like "whoa overshare!! i just feel awkward & weird!" lmfao like. there were people i hung out with in person the year i lived out of my car and i did not mention this at all to them / kept it a secret b/c it's like, not out of like ohh this is a secret b/c No One Can Know, some people Could know lmao (shoutout to the person i Did confide in about these problems and who talked with me at what must've been like 3am in that timezone when i was like "well the rich people around here made sure to get cops to harass an unhoused person, e.g. me, would you believe it, it sucked" lmfao) it's that i knew idk, it would be pointless, they'd just feel weird about it and switch into that "for some reason, this is being Nice" where everyone will go into full Putting On A Front mode to be Polite like, that really sucks actually lmao could you Not. but it's like, idk, all this stuff where it's like "this thing about me / my life would be too Boring or too Awkward or Depressing or Etc Etc" turns out to be isolating / alienating b/c like, of course it would be. and idk nobody i ever made friends with in person i was Confiding in, not a ton of them re: me either, because you know. being cagey and wary, on top of like ohhh this person is Standoffish if they're hesitant to interact with people generally or do their own thing or i don't think they're socializing Right / have incorrectly inferred their feelings/motivations/intentions or whatever

and furthermore on that lmao it's also like, again, while i'm Verbose & Opinionated people will think i'm quiet & have no takes to provide because it's also like, even when it comes to stuff i sure feel i Could talk freely about, it's like, if i have a different opinion here will that just be a conversational Interruption ruining things for the real participants, probably nobody wants to hear me talk about this Subject, probably nobody wants to / would let me talk about it at much length without interrupting, even Online lmao i can be just going all out in terms of [how much i can talk about something] and while people can be Into that at that time it's like, people aren't into that beyond that one back and forth on one day, shoutout when people do enjoy the extensive discussing and/or have patience for it other times lol.

then supposing i Am talking to people lmao it's like, idk i'm an acquired taste or what have you, like, on top of the Talking A Ton it's like, the being opinionated and argumentative and sometimes pedantic or whatever on top of being irritable, could stand to be a bit more patient lmao, The Hater Friend to use the figure of speech lmao i have hardly been in a Group to be The [Any] Friend lol, also if my sense of humor doesn't fit it's like well how am i supposed to be silly, if being sometimes Enthused doesn't fit, again kinda an issue......have described myself as A Bit Much, humorously, but already not doing that as Much b/c it's like, i think i'm still too much like considering other people's opinions too "objective" here when like, first of all that's never accurate lmao, second of all i can easily forget that idk, i can at least in theory expect people to just regularly Like me and Enjoy interacting with me lol so. an acquired taste few can sample..........like hey even if other people don't vibe with me, it can just as much be the case that i'm not vibing with other people, don't worry lmao. and yknow, kinda parallel to Masking to seem acceptable in any casual social situation it's like, if i feel i'm suppressing my whole personality here / putting up a front / like i have to Get Through what should be a friendly interaction rather than be able to enjoy it myself, it's not exactly that rewarding. and plenty of times it's like, i like to be around people, but it can be strangers, i don't feel like "oh i wanna go out to eat / see a movie / go to this event, but if i can't get any friends to go, guess i can't!" like get out of the way i'm readily doing shit alone, it can even feel Better that way if otherwise it's like, now this occasion is about performing peak Agreeability for this other person/people, and like, not like i have ever been like "yes i have people i can readily ask to hang out and they'll be like Ya" anyways lol so. used to operating solo, where you can't be like "aha this is because this person has no Human Interest in Human Connection" when it's like. well it was never all up to me was it

well and so also it helped when i was 14 and able to be Online consistently, vs at home lmao. time for online friendship, which i don't think is like, oh that's not Real, like what sorry have you never known about people who have Remote friendships before, phones & letters & telegrams and also [nowadays when many ppl are Remote even if they usually lived near enough to hang out with] where it's like, you have this different format for socializing that can sure play out differently than Real Time, In Person interactions, and ever since i'll be posting mostly to myself lmfao but able to thusly talk about Interests and like, people will come along who want to talk more about it, then we do. i suppose also it can sure help that i'll draw (and Only draw, lol) for said interests, although tbh i think most of the time it's the extensive text posts that do it? really and great litmus test or whatever lmfao like, well already this person must not hate the verbosity. and then you can end up vibing with these people further, or not, but it's like, again, there's this chance for From The Start like, oh this person Likes that i have this niche interest, they like &/or don't mind talking A Lot about it lmao, vs in person introductions where that can sure happen but it's like, that's gonna be chance & spontaneous, whereas ppl might have the opportunity to Seek Out this interaction / content of yours......even online though, i'm still like, not as inclined to reach out or make the first interaction move or whatever lmao so. and then it's like, people make galaxy brain remarks like "ohh people who are very Online don't have friends, irl, they aren't Personable, irl," like yes congratulations i'm autistic and i don't have many In Person friends generally, sometimes maybe not any, don't really know where people think they'll land their argument here. like, follow it through, are you just calling people losers. is it "social media makes peopel Not social" like nobody is Doing Anything when they're online or everyone is embracing strangers and having heart to hearts every weekday morning with whoever is nearby if only they weren't on twitter? plus the fact that like, if i don't have access to people i interact with online, that doesn't like, force me to become neurotypical so that i then have a thriving in person social circle, it just means i'm more isolated? meanwhile, turns out it helps a lot if it's like, yeah i can Expect to interact with people

and then still like, all the time it might be like i still can feel Confused as it were about How To Talk To People lmfao like. there's not much "Just Be Yourself" when being yourself has meant filtering yourself, actually, and being v self conscious about trying (and often failing) to appeal to other people (which, then if you do succeed, it's like oops this person likes me but if i've been putting up a front the whole time, not super Validating) and not exactly a ton of practice getting to do Otherwise, and it can again be like. is this too boring to talk about, or just somewhat arbitrarily like "oh i'd better Not talk / say whatever" for no real reason lmfao, i Can just get like. Real Time Chatty as it were, but it's difficult actually lmfao like i need a lot of momentum, and it's easy for that to be Not the case.......and just like, again that it's easy to forget you don't have to be in "nobody wants to hear you talk" mode, or think like, okay, i can't just say anything, i have to say something Good, aka of interest or funny or whatever lmao but then it's like well i guess i Can just say anything. don't much know how to do that tho

(also, sidenote from "wtf is thinking being friends w/someone online is faker than when you're friends with someone sort of from being in the same building every weekday, what is the conclusion of 'what a loser geek whatever if you care about connecting Online who can't be popular Offline'" where it's always funny when someone is also like "wow even in person Fandom is, like social media, something that only people who suck at socializing Normally are into" lmfao like. not very relevant b/c nobody wants to really be in a broader fanbase rather than find particular kindred spirits through it, and who actually wants to go to comic con or whatever, sounds like a nightmare, but it's still such a faux analytical perspective lmfao like, again, first of all, what's the Conclusion to your argument here? and secondly honestly like. all versions of Small Talk are kinda gonna be bullshit, even amongst say, nt people, there's nothing Universal, and people can certainly be inconsiderate / preclude any genuine connection via what they might consider to be this neutral part of the ritual, and yknow, i find it kinda exhausting like it's peak Time To Mask and then i'm hardly in the mood to Really talk further, like yknow what. idk i'd be annoyed if someone demanded i Correctly Complete some sort of fandom reference by way of greeting, but i'm also annoyed when someone demands i Correctly Complete whatever maneuvers you're supposed to do with a rhetorical "how are you :)" lmfao like. you're a cringe nerd in the rigid social ritual of pleasantries fandom)

anyways and uhh yeah i also yknow, hashtag alana beck, it's like, glad to pretend Friendly Acquaintances makes sense, i guess it can, but it's great when it's like, oh i Don't have to only expect to be really peripheral in people's lives, or to only be friends with people i don't feel like i vibe with That much or also talk to that much about anything, when i can definitely feel like Yes this person is a Friend, no "are they actually closer to an acquaintance at this point" disclaimers needed, again, taking it back to the fact that friendship sure is Significant to me and when i have it that's v important thanks

so it's like uhhhh yeah difficult to make friends, don't have general appeal or whatever lol, ppl aren't on my wavelength or i'm not on theirs, hard to talk to people even though it's not because i don't/can't talk plenty lmfao.......and re: being Supportive it's like well, i don't really tell people In Person i'm autistic but naturally if you follow me Online here i am talking about it lol, and not like anyone who already knew me & was friends with me was like "oh nvm don't like interacting with you now" and i also gotta mention the like Handshake Lgbtq lifehack, where plenty of times it can be like, oh if we vibe on That wavelength it can be easier to befriend people, and/or that people will at least be more like, amicable / supportive based on Knowing you're handshake on that lol. b/c really it's like, i'd also like to just be allowed to talk and/or simply be around people even if we are not Personal Friends, aka that you can expect to be treated decently with some basic respect / consideration and like you're generally allowed to exist and be present and interact with people where you're not only guaranteed to Not be punished / excluded for it if someone's your individual friend and allows you to be here, so. once again it's like, can allistic ppl be normal for 5 min

#still behind on this naturally lmao but when it's now 1am and i've chosen to do a whole essay #it's like whew time to make dark dinner for now #30daysofautismacceptance #2021

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unwiltingblossom · 5 years ago

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Code: Realize Route Review - SHIRLEY EXTRA ROUTE

We INTERRUPT YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED ROUTES WITH A SHIRLEY GORDON ROUTE REVIEW. Note, I’ve since done Finis’ route and much of Sholmes, but Shirley...Shirley can’t wait her turn.

Spoiler alert: There’s three good things about this route, unless you’re saving it for the last blast of nostalgia (don’t do that); Victor Frankenstein is present, Saint Germain is wonderful, and the boys all wear different clothing that, while more plain, makes them pretty hot.

Every single part of this route other than that is awful, terrible, and should feel terrible.

Oh, Delly and Passy are cute, I guess. But they’re too good for this route. Spoilers for it, I guess, but I’m doing you a favor if you don’t read it. There’s also spoilers for some of the main routes, chiefly Germain’s and Victor’s. Mostly Saint Germain’s.

This one is more in-depth than usual routes, because...well...I hate all of it, so it’s not just jumping around to different points that I either love or hate or find frustrating.

If other reviews feel more like reactions to you, this one is more than thorough enough to be a review.

First thing’s first: Yes, Sholmes is in this route, but he’s not in it long enough to be able to pull it out of the muck and garbage that is this route.

Second: Yes, the boys all get cool BDH moments, but again, not even that can save this travesty of a route

I could have included those as small concessions at the start, but that wouldn’t fit the rule of three, and frankly those three things are the only stuff that’s present consistently enough to matter.

So the route opens with an amusing little scene where Lupin disguises himself as Sholmes (weirdly, Lupin flexes a skill that Sherlock Holmes would normally possess, but whatevs. Code Realize struggles a little to keep up with Sherlock. It happens.) and steals a statue, presumably sticking this story around the point where Lupin stole all the vamp treasures back for Delly. (It’s not, because later they establish it’s definitely after Victor’s chapter, and I think the airship race is referenced once as well, placing it in an alternate universe where Finis doesn’t ambush them at the lab and Lupin is like ‘whoops, I said I got everything but I forgot the most important treasure of all’)

He runs into some mafia who try to kill him to get the statue back, but if Lupin is anything, he’s bullet proof. You might expect this mafia stuff to loop back to the festival place that Lupin inadvertently wrecked, the sky pirates that he pissed off, or the black race they participated in. You’d be wrong. Those stuff are barely mentioned, and the only purpose they solve is a brief scene where The Demon flexes her skills.

So the Twilight are super hard looking for Cardia at this point and they may possibly even have narrowly escaped a Twilight raid at that lab without killing Finis (we know he’s not dead, because Cardia would never miss an opportunity to remind us of how scary Germain was when he killed Finis had it happened), and this naturally means that Impey decides to go ahead and send her off all on her own for a drive through Lowtown with just Sisi to defend her, because testing the automobile can’t wait and Van Helsing is about to create a bioweapon in the kitchen. Why doesn’t he send Delly with her? Because Delly doesn’t want to be in this story, don’t force him.

While on that test drive, where Cardia would be unable to fix the car if it broke down, making the test drive totally pointless except to needlessly endanger her and open up Finis’ route, The Demon appears. The Demon being the girl in the photo, and who the route is about, Shirley Gordon. Shirley. She’s the 13 year old daughter of a mafia boss who simultaneously just wants to be normal and wants to go on a murder spree.

Shirley makes a habit of running away from her ‘crime’ family. There’s no reason for her to do this, actually, because they dote on her, never make her do anything bad, and are really better considered vigilantes than mafia. They’re so virtuous that the Lawful Neutral Sholmes that explicitly states he only cares about what the law says, not about the morals behind those laws, thinks they’re a-okay and will help them without hesitation.

Anyway. Shirley runs away to do...something. It’s never clear where she thinks she’s running to, other than maybe hoping to find a different crime boss and murder the heck out of him. Along the way, she spots a random woman driving in an automobile and is like “Yes! That one! I’m going to drag her into this escape, knowing full well that it’s not just endangering her but everyone around when I make her SPEED through the streets running away from my family, even after she says ‘I can’t control the car any faster than this, I’ll hit civilians’!” She also tries to get her father killed by flinging him off of a car at high speed into a street full of other cars and horses. But it’s okay, cuz he’s sturdy.

Impey planned ahead for some danger that would inevitably befall Cardia, the most danger-attracted person in the kingdom (and I mean ‘attracted to danger’, because this is the woman who at one point is warned about a mass murderer and immediately decides she should go ahead and wander in the sewers until she gets lost because it’s raining) - he made a button that activates a transmitter that warns him if she’s in danger. And that’s it. He doesn’t even tell her what it is, so by the time she tries to use it, it’s too late to do anything effective. Imagine if instead of a band of vigilantes cornering her, it was Twilight. “Oh, gee, but I put a transmitter on her car! Where could Cardia-chan have GONE? She turned it on, but this is just an empty alleyway with the car, no Cardia.”

Everyone scolds Impey about it, but that’s mostly because of a sudden uptick in mafia stuff (which to be fair would also be bad, because had it been actual mafia they’d have gotten there in time to find Cardia’s bullet-ridden corpse instead) and not because he let Cardia go unsupervised while Twilight is still looking for her.

Okay, that’s a lot of words harping on one thing, but it’s the vital starting point of this entire story. It’s important, and it is ridiculous. Anyway, moving on. Stuff happens that isn’t important except as a plot framing device. Cardia talks with Shirley and her dad, and immediately accidentally reveals her poison. As one does. Because the mafia looks at a living weapon and doesn’t immediately recoil in horror, Cardia instantly latches on to them to the point that she almost forgets Lupin’s crew exists for a few seconds. (Elaine and Etty, too)

She remembers that ‘oh, you kidnapped me and you kept me in London and not in a super obvious landmark like St. Paul’s Cathedral or some apartment in Baker’s Street, you screwed up!’ just in time for the rescue party to make their explosive entrance. The crew sans Saint Germain (because Germain would be murdering people and that would be unfortunate under the circumstances) arrive in a blaze of glory that is, frankly, pretty fun and has a cool CGI. It’s a bright spot that’s only slightly dragged down by Cardia koalaing the first second third (fourth counting Sholmes just being surprised on the train and then discounting it) group of people who don’t see her as a monster (in a timeline where she never saw her 665 past versions) immediately upon seeing her alien acid--I mean poison.

Saint Germain arrives home just in time to feel a bit awkward for missing Cardia’s monthly kidnapping and hints at plot stuff. Delly is also there and is cute enough that Saint Germain can’t help teasing him a little. Some time later, no one seems particularly hurried, confirming this is either right after Victor’s chapter or an AU where Finis didn’t show up in the lab and everyone ended up at a dead end related to Isaac. Sholmes shows up at the mansion because for some reason a case that has his name practically written on it is too much for him to handle on his own and he feels he needs Arsene’s thief-y mind to help him with it (maybe he’s suspects it’s a trap and is looking into the Certain Person he’s hunting?) - For no reason in particular, he goes ahead and leads the Gordons to Germain’s mansion as well.

Because Germain is there, it’s a pretty okay scene despite that. Sholmes and Germain are very alike and understand each other extremely well, and it sucks how little they get to interact.

Alas, the good scene can’t last, because while there’s a bunch of adults in a room talking, they unfortunately dragged dead weight into it, and it’s just a count down before Shirley blows her top. THIS HERE IS THE FIRST INSTANCE OF SOMETHING THAT REALLY BOTHERS ME.

Everyone, Cardia included, keeps crowing about how Shirley is Cardia’s first/only friend that is “Her age and gender”. Shirley is 13. At the end of this route, they will make a point to show that she’s about Delly’s age - Delly who is like a little brother/son and who never gets a route even two fandiscs in, because he’s too young. Cardia (although actually like 6) is in the body of someone who’s 17-18 years old. She’s a ‘young lady’, but not a child. She’s old enough that it’s not weird for thousands of years old Germain to be in love with her, nor is it creepy that Impey wants to sex her like a day after meeting her, and anywhere from 6 months to a year from the end of the plot each route she gets married. She’s old enough that Jack the Ripper considers her a legitimate target. She is NOT 13. Shirley isn’t her age, Shirley doesn’t act like her age. She’s basically a kid Cardia constantly has to babysit and who drags Cardia into trouble with her childish antics. It’s annoying that the game conflates a prepubescent child with an adult just because they’re both teenagers.

Anyway.

Shirley, in all her infinite wisdom, throws a temper tantrum because REASONS, and decides to drag Cardia out of an important meeting to go ‘have fun’ around town. And not only that, but she demands to do it without a single guard. While there are drug crazed killers wandering around town, and more importantly Twilight soldiers still looking for Cardia. Lupin gang comes to the absolutely deranged conclusion that Cardia will be fine ‘if she only runs into one or two Twilight’ as if that has ever been the case.

Remember how they all berated Impey for letting Cardia go on her own because dangerous mafia was out in the town? And then Cardia IMMEDIATELY GOT KIDNAPPED? Well, they don’t, because they all come to the same conclusion that Impey did and completely forget there’s still a group of killer mafia out there who probably are all the more likely to target Cardia when the daughter of a rival family is with her. If they wanted Shirley to shut up/Cardia to have some girl time, but they weren’t willing to send any adults out after her because it would be a bummer to catch that guy up on what he missed later, they could have sent Delly off to secretly tail her. But, again...Delly has his statue and now wants NOTHING to do with this route. As well he should.

Obviously, Cardia gets kidnapped immediately.

But first:

Shirley drags Cardia all over the place like an over-excited puppy, until she makes it to the mafia controlled festival place. Evidently it’s not her mafia, because while people are polite to her she still has to pay and play the games to get prizes. The cliche ‘she’s so good at shooting that an intentionally broken gun at a carnival game is no match for her’ thing plays out, complete with the ‘begging her to stop or they’ll go broke’ thing. What happens if you win too much is that the owner just says ‘mmkay you’re done for today’, that’s all. Also, even if you won the whole inventory from him, chances are he’s already made so much from failed attempts that it’d just be an annoyance.

At their last stop before they go home, Shirley finally realizes they’re being tailed (great reflexes, Shirley), and naturally her 13 year old, no-gun, no backup self immediately sprints after the person she’s sure killed her mother. Cardia, instead of picking up the girl with her superior strength and speed and carrying her home, foolishly decides to go off into the alleyways - which she KNOWS she shouldn’t do - after her.

Shock. Shirley runs into a blatant trap, because she is a child. She barks and yaps at the mafioso because she could do literally nothing else when she’s not even armed, and then Cardia is kidnapped alongside Shirley. Good job, Shirley! Your father was part of a three-part collaboration to take down Avido, but you bravely marched yourself into his arms and gave him ultimate leverage against not one but two of those groups!

Instead of instantly being killed to send a message, or even immediately used as effective leverage, they’re fortunate enough to just get stuck on a ship. It’s a good thing Avido has no connections to Twilight, because it sure would suck if he kept Shirley for leverage and then sent Cardia off to Finis. Fortunately, Impey learned from his previous mistake and this time put the tracker ON Cardia. So they can find her dead body more easily, if she ran into literally anyone who didn’t decide to just keep her safely locked up somewhere instead of killing her.

Shirley tells her sob story, it pales in comparison to even Lupin’s past, but Cardia feels terrible for her anyway because she hasn’t heard any of those stories yet on this route. Shirley, who wouldn’t sound out of place as Leon’s daughter, screams and tantrums about how she’s definitely gonna kill Avido while trapped in a cell who-knows-where with no actual way to kill him. She nearly just kills herself instead, slamming uselessly into the door like a rabid dog. Cardia has to jump in the way just to stop her.

Because, despite her rampant kidnapping, Cardia is actually competent most of the time, once Shirley stops causing a ruckus Cardia manages to spring them from the cell. The escape doesn’t last, because Avido uses ‘infinite footsteps’ jutsu, and Cardia and Shirley are surrounded. Remember in the Train Robbery chapter where Cardia remarks that Van Helsing taught her it’s really hard to get overwhelmed in an enclosed space like a tight hallway?

Yeah, forget that.

Anyway, in a charming semi-callback moment, the wall explodes nearby, letting Van Helsing and Germain into the hallway, chattering pleasantly with each other. Germain looks dapper AF while walking through the wreckage of the wall, as usual. It’s a nice moment. And, you know, if you get rescued by Van and Germain you’re pretty much set. Not much is gonna overwhelm that.

EXCEPT WHEN IT DOES, HAH. Avido pulls the ol’ “I have your friends and if you don’t want them to die, you’d best come with me peacefully” and so naturally the noted war hero whose family died because he went along with such a demand and the hostage taker killed them anyway, and the multi-thousands of year old assassin who has not just seen every trick in the book but probably written the book, immediately fall for it and go along with Avido.

Everyone, including the trickster thief and the other mafioso, also fell for the trick and so everyone ends up gathered in one place at the ballroom as Avido wants. Fortunately, Avido didn’t bring them all together to easily execute them, because their total lack of trust for each other’s skills really would have bitten them all in the butt then (except Germain, who would have egg on his face shortly before he killed all the mafia on board in revenge, I’m sure). Instead, he just wants them to...be there.

No, he doesn’t have any specific purpose for them. He just wants them there. He also wants Cardia dressed up for no particular reason. Fortunately, the Gordons gave Cardia a fancy dress right before she got kidnapped, and Victor has the poison proofing down so well now that he can just go ahead and treat a complex ensemble like that while riding in a car speeding its way to Liverpool. Because...well, there’s no actual reason why he’d feel it was an emergency to treat that clothing, nor why he’d even have brought it, but it’s a good thing Victor really wanted to see Cardia in that dress.

I guess you can argue that Lupin decided it was a part of his plan to make Cardia strip down and swap clothes when they found her so she could sneak out, but...that’s a stretch and a half. Especially when they were exploding walls to get in and find her. Stealth is gone when you use explosions, boys.

Anyway, the outfits Lupin made for the boys are great. Yes, they’re a little plain and not nearly as quirky as their normal ones...but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Some annoying things like Impey’s always half-off sleeve are gone, and both Victor’s questionable color scheme and Lupin’s atrocity are replaced with a suit meant to make them look good. Still the pointless top hats though. Always the top hats.

Unfortunately, though Shirley’s also meant to change, the plot and game itself instantaneously forgets this and it’s never mentioned or shown. Even more unfortunate: you might see Cardia in a beautiful new outfit and hope for the boys to give some kind of impressed, breathtaken, or blushy response.

They won’t. No one even comments on how she looks beyond maybe Shirley. Not even Impey, noted horndog, makes a comment. Lupin who presumably is the reason they brought the dress at all makes no comment, In short, Cardia looking pretty is just for you, the player. It won’t make any difference except that she gets a CG or two dressed up in it.

Avido flexes that all the sketchy mafia and questionable nobility who attend a black market cruise are in danger if Lupin or Gordon makes a move. Fortunately for his plans, everyone except Shirley actually cares about that, and so their hands are tied. Again, not really sure why Avido would threaten his customers so that people who want to take him down and provide him zero benefit won’t do anything when he even says later he could gun them down in full view and none of his customers would find it weird.

When the gang and mafia are all put into an extravagant room that Saint Germain had previously booked for himself (because he’s a bit of a cad that loves his antiques, dammit, the fact that it’s illegally acquired is really not that important!) Shirley realizes it’s been practically a whole half hour since she’s made a nuisance of herself, and so she starts screaming and tantrumming because her father didn’t shoot Avido dead back when there were countless bystanders around and each one of her allies - herself included - had guns pointed at them.

No. She literally throws a shrieking tantrum that involves flinging things across the room when he sends her off essentially ‘to her room’, and then spends the rest of the night sobbing into Passy’s arms. This, the person who keeps whining and complaining that no one will treat her like an adult, that people keep sheltering, that Cardia bafflingly keeps trying to compare herself to. She has a childish meltdown when she’s told ‘no, we can’t just kill Avido right now’.

Amazing.

Her dad, Darius, tells his sob story. It’s basically the same as Shirley’s, nothing really to write home about. Honestly, I kept expecting some kind of twist where Shirley’s mother actually betrayed them and he’d been forced to kill her to save Shirley, or her mother was actually on the cruise ship working with Avido. That’s how boring and unimportant the backstory is. You think Impey and Lupin’s stories are limp? Shirley’s story is just a big old ‘so?’. Even the last detail Darius later adds is like ‘and? You got angry and wanted to kill someone for murdering your wife. But you didn’t.’

Imagine for a moment if Germain’s story was that he got to know that little boy, got attached, and then even though he desperately didn’t want to do it, he killed him like he was supposed to. And then nothing happened after that, he just went on continuing to Idea Apostle

YEAH! THAT’S RIGHT! EVEN THAT WOULD BE MUCH WORSE THAN DARIUS’ STORY.

I’m getting sidetracked here, but this is a brutal part of the story that’s hard to get through, because Shirley is so beyond obnoxious, screaming and throwing a literal fit because no one listens to her, while they play the sad music that means you’re supposed to care.

Anyway, because Avido was too dumb to kill the people who are determined to stop him, Lupin and the others immediately start plotting to stop him. There’s a drug plot that’s designed to make the statue Lupin steals matter and give Victor something to do. Cardia is a competent nurse and Victor looks hot while he saves someone’s life, but man did I think it was a trap when someone ran in saying Victor was calling for her. That would be giving this route WAY too much credit.

For reasons that aren’t clear, there’s a room that has a bunch of counterfeit treasures of everything that’s up for sale. They bad counterfeits, though, and couldn’t possibly be mistaken for the same item, so it’s not like it’s an art theft swap or something. It just serves to show where a small part of the drugs are hidden. Not all of them, mind, because that would give the room a reason to exist. Just some of it.

The crew split up. Impey and Van Helsing both go to the engine room so they can seize it and turn the ship around before it can go to international waters. Because for some reason crimes committed there would cause a war or something. Cardia probably could have mentioned to them that she took out the whole engine crew on her own, so using up the vampire AND the living weapon on that assignment isn’t likely to be necessary, but that’d require some kind of sense, which this route doesn’t have.

Victor, Lupin, and Germain do...stuff. I think Germain goes off to seize the drugs in the food, Victor goes off somewhere nondescript to make an antidote, and Lupin farts around for a while to waste some time. What’s important is that even though Cardia’s there to see all the assignments go out, Lupin secretly also told Germain to find all the valuables in the ship and set charges on them. Probably because it would take .5 seconds for Germain to overpower some cooks and mafia boys and everyone knows it.

Cardia, bereft of plot, goes back to the room to wait to be important, and finds out that Shirley realized she slept through her half hour and forced her way through a window...I guess to the outside of the ship? And scaled up the outside of the hull like the demon beast she is, to escape confinement in her room. So she can run off and be a waste of space and oxygen not in her room, but somewhere actively detrimental to all the plans everyone’s made without her.

Presumably because everyone is as sick of Shirley as I am at this point, no one even tries to look for her this time. Maybe they all hoped she fell off overboard, I dunno. You’d think they’d all know she’d make a beeline to Avido and go collect her there, banking on the fact that Avido doesn’t know they’re planning anything (effective) and is determined to make them play the part of innocent passengers right now. But nah. She’d just screw up any plan they made anyway.

Lupin showboats around and disseminates the antidote to all the passengers during the auction via a fancy champagne tower. Then, long before all of them could actually have drank their cups, he goes ahead and tells Avido exactly what he’s done, forcing them to move onto the next step. The step that definitely involves most of the passengers dropping their glasses in a blind panic.

Avido, by the way, is a human traficker. The reason he keeps Cardia alive and kidnaps her instead of leaving her be or killing her is because he thinks she’d sell for a high price. It’s not a secret that he does this. Mafia apparently do it all the time, to the point where the no-crime Gordon family casually discuss the possibility of selling Cardia until another person has to remind the first that ‘yo we don’t do that’. Avido also traffics drugs. Drugs which inevitably either kill the user or turns the user into a violent zombie akin to a Hidden Strength victim, meaning that he’s causing a lot of deaths. Avido has personally killed a whole lot of people. He murdered one of his henchmen just because they failed to get a statue he doesn’t even care that much about.

Got that? Avido’s a bad boy. Objectively, Avido is worse than just about anyone else in the game other than Victoria - who at least has her ‘greater good’ reasons - Isaac - who is insane with grief - and Azoth. Hidden Strength victims are out of their mind, and while Nemo is callous toward human life in the face of science, he doesn’t go out of his way to murder for kicks and giggles. He’s also insane. Omnibus, also, is a question of personal morality vs greater good. Avido? Stone-cold sane, no greater good involved, he just wants power because he thinks it sounds fun.

Now that we’ve established that, does anyone in the room just kill Avido?

No. No they do not. Instead, they waffle about it and ramble about philosophy until he’s able to wrench back the upper hand via sheer numbers (because Van and Germain are otherwise engaged), and backs everyone up onto the surface of the boat.

Sadly, Shirley didn’t fall off the boat, she just jumped into Avido’s arms so she could become his hostage. AGAIN. He doesn’t reveal this at first, even when they’re outside and he has the upper hand. He takes his time before he brings out the unconscious Shirley. Supposedly she got so far as to point a gun at Avido this time, but I don’t think I believe him, because her strategy up until this point has been ‘angrily yap at him hoping he’ll just off himself’. Plus she’s supposed to actually have some skill with a gun and is psychotically enraged at him. She’d definitely have shot him if she ever thought to bring a gun.

Fortunately, there’s still some competent people on board the ship, and Impey + Van Helsing bust through the top of the ship in Impey’s automobile to help turn the tide of the battle. Sisi is there too. Which makes one ask ‘where is Delly, then?’

The answer is ‘not in this route, screw you, he doesn’t want to be here’.

Where’s Germain? He’s busy. It’ll be obvious why in a bit. That said, they have Avido dead to rights once Van Helsing and Impey get there (it’s mostly Van. Impey’s great and all, but Van doesn’t need back up) What do they do? Do they kill this murdering scumbag who wants to rule the entire world just so he can kill people when he feels like it? Who’s sold girls off into slavery? Who’s killed people just because he felt annoyed?

NO. FOR IF YOU KILL ME, BATMAN, YOU WILL BECOME ME.

Now, Impey and Lupin don’t kill. Even when Lupin was like ‘Hey, I love this girl and if you say that again I’ll literally kill you’, he didn’t actually kill the guy when the person immediately said it again. Victor can do it, but it’s pretty deeply traumatizing to him, and he’s pretty firmly in the ‘might doesn’t make right’ camp. But Van Helsing does. Sure, he’s deeply traumatized from the war and he won’t kill unless necessary - pretty much it’s a hard sell to kill anyone not Finis shaped....but he does it. Between ‘crime family compromising its ideals for revenge and becoming criminals’ and ‘man under the protection of the crown killing a violent and horrible criminal he was sent to deal with who has directly endangered his friends’, Van’s gonna just step up and do it.

Instead though, it seems Lupin had told everyone on the team except Cardia about his actual plan, which was to blow all the treasures to hell instead, and let Shirley pull the trigger. because revenge, I guess.

Since the ship is now SINKING, Impey and everyone but Germain (hold pls, he’s busy) drive off of the ship onto the dock in a way that would definitely do damage to the car and the dock, and into the night with the assumption that the Yard will do clean up from there.

In the biggest plot twist of the entire route, when treated the exact same way he was last time he got caught and had his plans blow up in his face, Avido again doesn’t learn his lesson. Instead, he manages to get a mother heckin tank off of his sinking ship and chases the Impeymobile through the streets.

Let me take a moment to say: the insane scientist he got this from had BETTER be Nemo, or else all of Victoria’s dreams of the UK having superior military force to the rest of the world just went up in smoke. Because, fun fact, Germany wasn’t so hard to handle in WW2 because of mustard gas. It was their tanks. (and as another aside: Germany got beaten up in WW1, only to come back dominant in WW2, so Victoria’s entire ‘spark a world war now to ensure dominance forever’ plan wouldn’t work no matter what)

Anyway, back to the subject at hand: I’m not mad that they don’t know how to fight a tank. That’s understandable. Tanks are a big deal. My problem is that the tank is able to plow right through solid brick buildings lengthwise. Not one or two, but just...constantly plowing through the alleyways at a speed so high that an automobile can’t escape. That is not how it works. Another problem is that neither Impey nor Lupin ever realize that the tank can’t turn for heck, and the automobile could spin circles around it if necessary.

But most of all, Avido pops his stupid head out of the tank at one point during the chase, and somehow it continues to be piloted. There’s never any mention or indication that anyone is in that tank besides him, he’s just Mr. Fantastic, and can stretch out and bend his legs infinitely, allowing him to pilot a tank full speed while standing more than halfway out of the thing. Worse than that super power, we have an impenetrable literal tank chasing the Lupin group around, destroying Liverpool, backing them into a corner. Soon they’re going to run out of a place to run, or they’re going to get hit and die.

Why, then, does Van Helsing see Avido pop his stupid head out, and proceed to do literally nothing? Obviously at this point he should just kill Avido, because nothing else will stop him, but just a few minutes before it’s mentioned that Van Helsing is so quick to switch from shrapnel to rock salt that it looks like some kind of a super power, which means he has ZERO reason he can’t just shoot Avido in the face with rock salt and knock the fool out.

Instead...they do nothing and just listen to him babble for a bit until his head pops back in again. Then they discuss jumping over to the tank and probably intend to get in there to get at him. You know, like they could have just done if he popped his head out.

Faced with all possible choices, Lupin decides the smart thing to do is to ram full speed into a renovating hotel and hope Avido is stupid enough to follow in. And, you know, that the falling debris will do anything to a tank that rammed right through an entire alleyway worth of buildings without slowing down or looking at all damaged.

Van Helsing is Van Helsing, and he protects the automobile from excessive damage, and lo - the plan works. It incapacitates the tank.

Avido, who could now safely play dead and wait for them to leave, instead climbs out of the tank (uninjured) and comes at them again. At this point although he was initially intimidated by Van Helsing he seems to be aware that no one is ever going to kill him, because he charges Van Helsing again.

Cue long boring monologue involving Avido’s slightly more interesting sob story and Darius absolutely refusing to ever kill Avido because IDEALS.

Currently they looped back around to the port and are near the boat, which may make you say ‘oh wait, where is Saint Germain anyway?’ The answer to that question is ‘not there, because we can’t have a literal time assassin who massacres entire villages of innocent people for the sake of the timeline be here while we pretend that good people don’t kill’. Sholmes also sat this out, because he would have been given permission to kill Avido legally, and we can’t have that.

But yes.

Germain’s busy on the boat threatening to kill people for some sweet art, while everyone is passionately preaching at Avido that they’d never kill him, not ever. Which is good for Avido, because if Germain weren’t busy getting filthier rich, the conversation would have been cut very short.

Y’know.

When Germain just stabbed him through the heart from behind.

As he does.

Also, we’d have to answer the question of ‘if this man is endangering the entire world with his plan, or even all of London, isn’t this a serious concern for the proper path of humanity? Ie; shouldn’t Germain be killing this man?’ if he were there.

Darius is like ‘well, you’re family, so even though you’re a murderous psychopath who purposefully got people nonconsensually addicted to a deadly drug and sold who knows how many innocents into slavery, I’m gonna look out for you’ just in time for Leonhart to show up and flail angrily at Arsene.

He immediately blames Lupin and the gang for the mass destruction of Liverpool, and instead of anyone saying “Well, actually it’s that tank there, It kept shelling the place and mowing through buildings because Avido is a psychopath”, Victor goes “Well, we have no excuse”

yes

yes you do

you didn’t do the destruction. (Except the hotel, but at that point it was ‘damage a rebuilding hotel or die’, so really...)

There’s a vaguely humorous bit where the mafioso realizes that the royal guard isn’t interested in arresting the mafia, just the random band of thieves, and then, wonderfully...Saint Germain finally shows up.

Truly, he lights up everything when he’s around. Aside from the times when he’s obligated to turn his murder blades on Cardia. That’s just sad.

Anyway, left to his own devices, Germain extorted a bunch of mafia into overfilling his automobile full of priceless treasures and cash. He’s shameless about it. It’s adorable. Give that man your art. Do it. It’s not a request, he’s taking your art.

Anyway, since the Impeymobile is wrecked, they all hop into Germain’s getaway car, and zoom off in a pretty cute ending CG, benny hill music playing as Leon chases them and Victor - poor, precious baby - nearly falling out of the car like a dweeb.

Sadly, there’s an epilogue, because this route is bad and it won’t let Germain save it.

Oh yeah, there’s an irrelevant noble who dies right before Germain probably would have killed him anyway. It’s stated that no one really tries to stop Germain from keeping his treasures, because most of them were originally acquired illegally and some are even national treasures of other nations, so even acknowledging they exist would possibly spark a war that Victoria totally, definitely doesn’t actually want for realsies.

Victoria responds to them saving the country and the world by not really responding. Instead, she sends them an invoice for the damage to Liverpool that they didn’t cause. It’s just so knee-slappingly hilarious that the invoice somehow matches the cost of those aforementioned priceless treasures. Because that gag is ALWAYS FUNNY AND NEVER OLD! IT’S SO FUNNY! HAHA THEY MADE MONEY BUT THE COST TOOK UP ALL THE MONEY! HAHA

except you know...

how...

how does the cost match priceless artifacts? Germain isn’t selling them, and he can’t even if he wants to. There’s not even price tags on some of them. How is it they’re ‘in the red’? Just the cash that was in the car?

Yeah, no, it’s stupid.

And to just cap off that bowl of stupid, we get to see The Demon, who unfortunately survived her repeated kamekaze attempts. This time the Lupin gang remembered that Twilight exists, so Delly and Passy go with her and Cardia on the town.

Naturally, because Shirley’s a little shit, she harasses and disrespects Delly.

...Well, it’s supposed to just be ‘two kids playing’, but Shirley’s a miserable little cave troll without a single redeeming iota of her being, so it just comes off as her being unreasonably rude to Delly.

There’s another photographer moment like in the Airship picture, but instead of a cute picture, it’s cropped out Delly and Passy, and just focuses on Shirley and Cardia holding ice cream, while the little brat has five scoops on her cone, which is definitely going to end up mostly melted on the street.

The route ends with Cardia being happy that she’s ‘made a friend that’s her same gender and age’. After establishing RIGHT BEFORE that Shirley is about Delly’s age, and is playing like a child with him while Cardia and Passy watch them.

Also for some weird reason, everyone is convinced that Sisi is a guard dog in this route. Just because.

You might think ‘is there a pay off with that whole statue thing’? no

You might think ‘okay, so what’s the conclusion with Herlock Sholmes? Does he toss some part of his earning for the assignment to Lupin and the others who actually did 100% of the job while he sat back and did nothing?’ no, nothing happens

You may think ‘okay, at least maybe they clarify what happens with the Twilight, or where Shirley is during the epilogues?’ no

no they don’t.

you may even think ‘at least Avido is dead or in prison or something permanently punished for all the horrible-’

it’s a bad route

it’s an awful route

it’s bad, bro.

Just enjoy the boys - particularly Germain - being cute. That’s all you get.

But not Delly.

Delly didn’t want to be a part of this crappy route.

#code realize #code realize future blessings #code:realize-future blessings #code: realize-future blessings #shirley gordon #code realize review #ooc #spoilers #SHIRLEY GORDON IS A GOBLIN MADE OF NOTHING BUT SUFFERING EXCEPT ITS YOURS #SHE EXISTS TO MAKE YOU SUFFER AND WONDER WHY YOU BOUGHT THIS GAME #long post

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onebizarrekai · 7 years ago

Photo

I thought it was about time I made this, just for some helpful links and other random stuff. It has a different layout and almost no pictures in comparison to the original FAQ because posts can’t handle the same functions that custom pages can, but it’s what I could do.

Like the reference master post, this post is subject to updates, if need be.

Hello!

Welcome to my blog! You can call me Kai. I'm a college student who loves to draw and write stories in my spare time. I have a passion for music, which I am currently studying at school. I love making people laugh and cheering them up, so I hope I can do a little of that for you!

While a handful of my ongoing projects are related to the Undertale fandom, this is pretty much a multifandom blog! What those other fandoms are… tends to vary with whatever I'm interested in at the moment. I'm also a dedicated multishipper and a relative memelord, apparently. Thanks for stopping by!

✕ Please do not redistribute any of my art or other works without my permission. (Por favor, no vuelva a publicar mi arte sin permiso.) Credit is necessary. Posting my content on Youtube is not allowed at all unless it’s a non-monetized dub, or you are given personal permission. ✕

>>> CHARACTER REFERENCE MASTER POST

(Already linked at the top of my blog on mobile, but here it is anyway.)

► Greyscale (MAIN PROJECT) An alternate story taking place in the Undertale universe, where two humans with drastically different ideas on how problems should be solved end up in the Underground at the same time and have to work together to make their way through it. Also Chara is there. It’s a party. —> On a break while I work on other projects.

► The Legend of Underverse: Meme Waker Also known as Wind Waker Dreamtale (WWDT), a comic that parodies the Undertale fandom and Zelda: Wind Waker at the same time, featuring Nightmare and Cross as the protagonists. This comic is no longer in production.

► Isaac Beamer Versus the Supernatural Often abbreviated to IBVS, a story where various Undertale fandom characters are humans, have human names and go to a not-so-normal high school. Draws inspiration from shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Danny Phantom and Gravity Falls, while simultaneously making fun of everything I can think of. You can read it on Ao3. —> Updates irregularly.

► Driftverse An interactive story dedicated to Nightmare and Dream… except they’ve been combined into one person, and they have no idea how. Thus, they have embarked on an adventure over at @driftverse. —> On hiatus until further notice.

► (Project) Hopeless An original project in early stages of development. Creation? I dunno, I think the ‘early development’ term is only used for games. But then again… it is all just a game, after all…

► Dreamswap An ‘AU’ based on the Underverse story. It got its name from being centered around Dream and Nightmare switching roles. Other characters have also switched roles in unique ways. Dreamswap doesn’t have an ongoing story, however it is being reformed into an original story called Fable of the Fools. (The Dreamswap FAQ can be found here. However, it’s a custom page so it may not work on mobile.)

► Darkness Is Nicer Than It Seems (Darkness Dream) An open-ended alternate outcome where Dream gives up and joins Nightmare. Content regarding this setting may contain trigger warnings.

>>> MISCELLANEOUS QUESTIONS:

>> What software do you use to draw?

Clip Studio Paint.

>> What software do you use to make music?

Garageband. I could be using something better, but this is what's available, haha.

>> What languages do you speak?

English is the only language I’m fluent in. I know some words in a number of other languages but I can’t actually hold a conversation in them.

>> What are your pronouns?

I’m agender! I use they/them, mostly. Sometimes he/him for reasons, but if you don't know my personally, just use they.

>> What's your art tag?

#art closet. It's under construction, but I've been slowly and steadily attempting to add everything I've drawn and posted to it–with the exception of long ongoing comics. Those are tagged as #comics galore.

>> Can I roleplay as one of your characters?

You can roleplay certain characters all you want, but please don’t roleplay characters you don’t fully understand the characterization of. It would be really sucky if mischaracterizations got spread around. Please remember to direct people back to me as the original creator of the character!

Please do not roleplay characters from entirely original works of mine at this time.

>> Can I cosplay as one of your characters?

Of course you can!

>> Is there some way I can financially support you?

Behold, my Ko-fi! You can also commission me! Commissions are always open unless stated otherwise.

>> What do you think about NSFW?

Have at it, but please tag it carefully and correctly, and keep it out of the main tags.

#finally #got that out of the way #faqpost

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darkmindsthinktwistedthoughts · 7 years ago

Text

A Different Time pt3

Warning: Scientific Nerdy Ninja, strong language

MasterList

---

Chapter 3 – Tactless Advice

It was a bit of a shock to see my friend standing before me but there was still no doubt that it was him. Yukimura turned around and gave me a happy smile and a wave.

“Hey Sasuke long time no see.”

Finally reaching his side we share a small fist bump before walking towards the Inn where I have my room.

“Why are you here Yukimura?”

“Hey what’s with that? You not want to see me?” He pulls a small pout answering my question with a question.

“It’s not that, I’m always happy to see my bestie you know that. I’m just surprised because you have no business here as far as I can remember.” There was no reason for Yukimura to be here. Azuki was where he had been given orders to seek out information in not all the way out here in the back of beyond. Also, he was on a break. Lord Shingen called it time off for good behaviour. It sort of made it sound like an early release from prison.

“Yeah that… Lord Kenshin was getting all worked up and so Lord Shingen cut my time off from spying a bit and sent me here to check on you so I could report back that you are ok. It has been nearly a week you know?” Yukimura tilted his head as he looked at me.

Drawing a mental tally of time spent traveling, then being thwarted in my attempts to gain access to the Daimyo’s residence, I realised he was right. My previous estimate on time for this mission had racked up a number of delays. The image of her popped up in my head. What on earth was that about?

“I’m sorry to have been the fuel that drove you into having to come and check on me.” I shook my head a bit, attempting to clear the image from my mind whilst also apologising.

“Oh, don’t give me that I wasn’t that worried. To be honest I’m glad to get away again Lord Shingen is driving me mad with his constant sneaking around looking for sweets and chasing every woman he can find in town. Don’t get me started on Lord Kenshin, I think that man is starting to go even crazier. You know he challenged a member of kitchen staff to a sword fight the other day because he was given the wrong tea set?” Yukimura sounded exasperated as he described the situation at home.

“That does sound pretty dire. I’m sorry you had to go through all of that alone.” I held my tone together somehow whilst simultaneously apologising and trying to avoid sniggering at my poor friend’s experience. I knew it could be bad our Lords seemed to require babysitters, if I’m honest though Lord Shingen is more laid back. Lord Kenshin whilst a brilliant man, is also an acquired taste much like his prized sake and pickle plums combination.

“No, you’re not! I can hear you smirking even if your face hasn’t cracked into one. Anyway, what’s taking you so long? Thought you said it was an easy in and out job.” Yukimura put his arm on my shoulder dragging me towards him in a conspiratorial fashion.

“I would prefer to have this discussion inside.” He nodded in agreement and followed me inside. The owner of the inn was a very nice old man and he managed to arrange for Yukimura to have a room near mine. Bowing in gratitude we left the front of house retreating to the back and into my room.

---

After several cups of tea, and a carafe of sake, Yukimura finally had been clued in on all that had happened. And now in a typical Yukimura fashion had exploded into a full range of emotions that would put a modern-day actor to shame if they had been told to recreate it.

“So, you are telling me that a female ninja who had been attacking you for the last few days invited you to her camp and you just went along with her?” His jaw hanging open like that made him look a little like a koi in a pond.

“Yukimura you are getting the wrong idea.”

“Wrong idea? Sasuke man seriously. It’s basic survival, you don’t just follow your enemy.” Yukimura smacked his palm onto his forehead in frustration.

“But she isn’t my enemy.” We had been going in circles with the same topic for a while now. I had been up all night and was planning on retiring to my futon as soon as I arrived back to my room but with the arrival of Yukimura I had rejected the idea until we had finished talking.

“So, what you fancy her?”

“Pardon?” His adamant tone of voice as he said that caught me off guard and I nearly repeated my blunder from earlier with her by inhaling my tea.

“You like her. You know as a woman. Ack don’t make me spell it out man seriously I haven’t had enough to drink to have that conversation with you.” Yukimura had turned red all over his face right the way to the tips of his ears. It was an endearing quality in my friend. He found something so uncomfortable to talk about and yet still attempted to do his best and talk about them regardless of his own embarrassment. I however wasn’t entirely focused on that right now. I was trying to assess the accuracy of his statement. How do I feel about her? I don’t even know her name.

“I would have to say that based on current levels of understanding and data that I have gathered on the subject that there may be a possibility, given the right circumstances and all the varying factors involved. That is to say the increased levels of adrenaline and norepinephrine in me causing my heart rate to increase, that I could possibly find myself in an infatuated state with her at some point in the future.” I spoke as I tried to process my own feelings and thoughts into words.

I had taken to studying the social interaction of people after I arrived in this era, partly due to trying to fit in for work purposes but also partly because the way in which couples interact in this time seemed to be more open and easier to study. There were not the modern issues of embarrassment about all PDA situations. It was an intriguing notation to me that I could compare romantic entablements in the Sengoku period to modern era entanglements.

“So, you want to have sex with her then.” Yukimura blurted out as he rolled his eyes.

“Yukimura there are times your level of understanding and tactlessness astound me.” I had often experienced Yukimura and his outbursts of tactlessness but that had been with women present.

He didn’t usually do something similar when we were in private. Or maybe it was because this was not a topic that normally involved me directly. It was normal for us to talk about everything and anything and naturally the topic of females did arise from time to time but it was more generalised. Yukimura seemed to actively avoid relations with women except for casual hook ups and although I can say I could see the appeal I also knew deep down it was not something that I would really enjoy past a basic chemical level.

“Well yes or no?” Yukimura had leaned forward to look into my face. Clearly the sake had relaxed him enough to forget the idea of personal space.

“It isn’t as simple as that.” I sighed as I pushed myself to stand and retrieve some sake for myself. If we were to continue this discussion regardless of time of day I was going to require something stronger than tea.

“Sure, it is. Sasuke we are living in a world of uncertain futures. You could die at any minute. My point is if you want something you are going to have to be willing to take a risk.” Yukimura was always sincere and his voice right now also carried with it the weight of personal experience and a desire to help. I found my mind racing once more and the image of her rose again in the sea of thoughts and queries. What do I want to happen?

---

Yukimura eventually left my room in search of food and left me to get some sleep. It was now much later and I was watching from a window as the blue and purple hues of twilight changed into the darker shades of night. It was nearly time to go to work.

I gathered my swords strapping them onto my back in a way that meant I could move even if it did make navigating in the crawl spaces of a ceiling awkward. I strapped my throwing knifes onto my leg and made sure I had an adequate amount of smoke bombs and ground spikes tucked into my tunic. Leaving the room via the window I hopped from roof top to tree to rooftop and balcony until I reached a quite street and dropped to the ground to walk on terra firma.

My mind wandered back to the conversation earlier and my unanswered questions bubbled up again to the surface of my mind. Could I handle leaving here and the possibility of not seeing her again? Does she feel the same? Could she feel the same?

Well we had only just met and just because we were both from the future was no guarantee that she would be attracted to me. Also, she might already have someone she is romantically attached to. The idea my logical brain had put up as an issue to my curious emotional internal discussion made me feel a little like the ground spikes in my tunic had imbedded into my chest.

I stopped at the corner of the intersection between the road leading into town and the road that led to the compound. There were guards in the area and although they didn’t seem to be particularly well trained it would have been reckless to assume that they couldn’t get lucky. Lord Kenshin’s training had resulted in me developing skills that built on what he called “natural abilities.”

When I asked to be trained as one of his Ninjas it wasn’t an immediate yes. I had saved his life and Kenshin knew that, but he wanted me to prove I was worthy to take on the tasks of a ninja in training. It took about 4 months of him running me like I was some sort of pack animal crossed with delivery boy.

The menial tasks he gave me blended in with basic training for strength and agility before finally he declared he would agree to me training on the proviso that he himself took care of my training personally. It was brutal.

I had so many bruises and cuts from the first year in training before I was strong enough to at least block a full Kenshin force style attack and rebuff his katana in order to get away. I had nightmares to start with a shudder ran up my spine just thinking of the sneak attacks. In modern-times we didn’t have sword wielding men randomly appearing actively trying to hurt you at every opportunity. It was like something from a pink panther movie crossed with a Texas chainsaw massacre.

Drawing back from my musings and memories, I watched as the two guards on patrol walked past me and slipped out of my hiding spot hauling myself up int a tree near the compound wall and swinging myself towards the stone fortifications.

– Cough, Cough –

Oh, fantastic. I flattened against the top of the wall and looked below me. I had managed to land above another guard. He was leaning against the wall smoking a pipe, the trails of smoke rising towards me in the darkness made my nose tickle. I suppressed a desire to sneeze and moved slowly crouched low along the wall away from the guy taking a smoking break.

It’s amazing how easily you can move when someone isn’t trying to throw something at you. The thought caused me to smile beneath my scarf and I scanned the area looking for my point of entry. It should be on this side but on the second floor. The building itself was two stories high, it wasn’t unheard of but it was a rarity in this era.

Clearly this Daimyo was as bad as rumour had you believe. Over taxing to gain more wealth and spending it on lavish bouts of self-indulgence and opulence. If Lord Kenshin had been here he would have cut down the second story of the manor himself. The idea of Lord Kenshin going toe to toe with a strong building made me feel amused. However, I also knew that for the God of War, even if his opponent was a brick wall he would still attempt to win. Something about the building and the amount of men on patrol guarding it had settled into the back of my mind since I first saw the place and it was still causing an uneasy feeling in me. What am I missing?

Rounding the walls, flitting between shadows I finally lined myself up with the entrance I was looking for. I say ‘entrance’, in actual fact it is just a small enough gap in one of the rooms of the castle. I don’t know why but the window there was always just a little open with its shutter put in place over it on the inside. Taking my chances that no one will see me, I dived onto the ledge by the window and pushed the shutter with my hand through the gap. It was loose and didn’t seem to make a noise so I entered in through the window and lowered myself soundlessly to the ground inside.

– Gr…mmm… –

There were moaning sounds of a someone in the darkness. Please tell me I haven’t just landed in someone’s bedroom while they are ‘preoccupied’. My eyes adjusted to the loss of light in the room and I could see the outlines of a few people but this was wrong. They were lined along the walls and either laying or sitting in place hardly moving. There was a very small lamp by what looked like the door to the room and I decided to light it and illuminate my curious mind. Almost as soon as I managed to light the lamp I regretted my choice.

“What the Hell?”

---

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acrownforaking · 7 years ago

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Infinity War: First Impressions

Needless to say, my ass will be back in the theatre soon to see Infinity War again -- perhaps several times -- but after one go-through, I’m gonna cover my initial thoughts and feelings about the movie. And hooBOY, I have a lot of them.

****SPOILERS****

The Good

Is this Thanos: The Movie? Yes, yes it is. But that’s not a bad thing. Aside from Josh Brolin’s fantastic performance, the writers really outdid themselves with this one. For a giant, purple nutsack from space, he is remarkably human, with understandable motives, that while incredibly misguided, are almost...noble? I never expected to walk out of Infinity War and find myself grappling with a philosophical struggle over whether the villain was right or not. Besides Loki, most Marvel villains are as generic and comic-booky as expected, but Thanos fucking shined in Infinity War.

This should have been a mess. For all intents and purposes, Infinity War (MOST AMBITIOUS CROSSOVER EVENT IN HISTORY HER DE HER) was doomed from the start. Juggling five-times the amount of characters of the original Avengers, while creating a followable plot and introducing a new villain. Sure, we’ve been teased Thanos, but we didn’t really know anything about him. We just knew Grimace was coming, and he was gonna get the shinies, goddamnit. But somehow, everyone had a chance to speak and do something relevant, everyone mattered, in some way, and even though the plot was largely fragmented, broken off into several simultaneous stories, there was no confusion. I still can’t get over how something so massive was so cohesive, so streamlined.

Some people have complained about length, but I didn’t register that the movie pushed a three hour run time until I’d left. I was on the edge of my seat, laughing, or crying for the entire run. I was never bored, never wondered when a certain scene would end. I thoroughly enjoyed every second.

The humor was on point. The Russos took a lot of good cues from the Gunns and Taika, because the GOTG/Ragnorak hilarity was there, with the perfect comedic timing and memorable lines. “Thank you, sweet rabbit.” and “I am Steve Rogers!” will stick with me for a long time. Nothing beats Trash Panda, but this came very close.

They picked some unusual pairs for certain stories that turned out really well.

The dynamic between Thor, Rocket, and Groot was great to watch, and even with Thor rolling with them, had a very distinct GOTG vibe to it. Also surprised by the depth of emotion in that scene between Thor and Rocket (you know the one), but after the tear-jerking brilliance of the Yondu/Rocket scene in GOTG2, I should’ve seen the heartbreak coming.

Strange and Tony together was also fantastic. They’ve been compared endlessly since Doctor Strange was released, and to have two massive egos butting heads like that was something that I think was long awaited for many fans, and didn’t disappoint -- and it did show that yes, Strange is not a copy paste of Tony in a different universe. Strange remains pretty Machiavellian while Tony sees more intrinsic value in every human life. Even though they had similar “redemption arcs” in their separate movies, the contrast between the two of them was more on display than anything else, and I loved that.

Peter Quill and Thor. Need I say more?

Some of the sweeping space shots were awe-inspiring. I thought that the Valkyrie scene in Ragnorak was peak Marvel beauty, but Infinity War was absolutely gorgeous.

Red Skull coming back was a really interesting twist.

Those mindless, Resident Evil style monsters that Thanos released in Wakanda were actually scary as shit, and it was a lot more interesting watching the Squad tear into those than say, the Ultron minions, or...basically any other generic evil thing they’ve fought, just because they were so mindless and vicious.

SQUIDWARD. Great small-time villain, and whoever did his voice acting killed it.

Tony and Pepper talking about having kids, the broken-up conversation on the space-ship...oh, it wounds me so...but it was fantastic writing. Grounding for Tony, certainly, reminding us that he’s settled into a pseudo-normal life since Civil War AND HE WANTS LITTLE TONYS AND PEPPERS AND YOU KNOW THAT WHEN HE THOUGHT HE WAS DYING THAT’S ALL HE WAS THINKING OF, HE WAS THINKING, NO, NO, THIS ISN’T RIGHT, PEPPER AND I ARE GONNA HAVE A BABY, WE’RE HAVING A BABY

Bruce really shined and it made me so happy, and I don’t have much to say on the subject other than I’m psyched he got the amount of screen-time that he did. I vastly prefer Bruce to the Hulk, and the comic relief of Bruce basically having Hulk ED was great.

Yes, the end crushed me, of course. But I appreciated that so much was subverted, tropes, expectations, you name it -- they failed. The heroes failed and the casualties are incalculable. The villain goes home to rest and sit on his laurels while the heroes mourn their dead. How often does that happen in blockbuster cinema? What a breath of fresh air. (I STILL HATE YOU FOR PETER PARKER, MARVEL.)

Speaking of me hating Marvel for Peter: that scene was crushing. I started sobbing, and I heard a lot of crying from around the theatre. Just...”Mr. Stark, I don’t feel so good.” ... “No, no, I don’t want to go.” It tore me up inside unlike anything else I’ve ever seen in the MCU.

And so spoke the prophet Ned: “Holy shit, we’re all gonna die!”

The Bad

While everybody shined at one point or another, there were some characters that were really thrust into the forefront in promos that in reality had very, very few scenes in the movie. Mainly, I’m talking about Bucky. He got a new arm, hugged Steve, swung Rocket around, and then died. I was hoping for more.

There were a few interactions I was hoping to see but never got. Mainly: Tony and Bucky, Tony and Cap, Shuri and Tony, Shuri and Bucky. But there’s time for that yet, because let’s be real: ain’t none of these motherfuckers staying dead. Except for Loki, Heimdall, and Gamora. RIP.

While the humor always made me laugh, there were a few misplaced moments that undercut the emotional weight of whatever had just happened. Drax standing there while Gamora asked Peter to kill her if it came down to it is the main thing that stands out in my mind as jarring.

I was a little underwhelmed when I found out that the Soul Gem was on some random planet, but that’s mainly because I was hoping that the “Heimdall has the Soul Gem” theory wasn’t going to be Jossed.

It seems strange at this point that no one in the films has acknowledged any of the canon introduced in Agents of SHIELD, like the Inhumans, but truthfully, I complain about this because I just want Coulson to be in the films and for the original Avengers to know that he’s still alive.

NO HAWKEYE. AM ANGRY.

The Ugly

Some of the cinematography was...meh. Especially when they were fighting in Wakanda, there was a lot of shaky cam and random cuts that made the action pretty hard to follow.

Nebula getting ripped apart. Ouch.

I feel as though Thanos announcing himself by murdering Loki and Heimdall was a great way to establish how dangerous he was (along with beating the shit out of the Hulk) but WOW it was hard to see Loki die like that.

I...I get what they were trying to do with the forge...and, true, it was pretty cool, but holy shit, why did Peter Dinklage need to do that voice. It sounded forced and ridiculous. Any GOT fans remember Tyrion imitating his cousin Orson? That’s what Peter’s character sounded like THE ENTIRE TIME. I couldn’t take him seriously. I get that they were probably trying to distance this character (I can’t remember his name) from Tyrion, but for the love of God, why not just let him do his American voice, then? Or just his Tyrion voice, because most people see Tyrion when they look at him anyway and that can’t be avoided sometimes.

I’ll probably have even more to say about Infinity War once I’ve digested it a bit, but TL:DR -- this is one of the best films in the MCU. Possibly the best. My expectations were subverted and it was better than I ever dreamed it could be...so if you haven’t seen it, you need to!

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aprilrichardson · 8 years ago

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I Know It’s Over

There are people to whom music doesn't matter. I often envy these people. My mom is one of them -- she's not really concerned with music, poetry, movies, or anything in popular culture. She considers herself a whole, satisfied person without these things in her life, free from any aesthetic crutches. I am not one of those people. I needed music. I need music. From a very early age, I needed music to tell me I was okay. I needed it to tell me I was normal, I needed it to tell me I was weird, I needed it to confirm that I'd be fine either way. I needed it in a dramatic way. I needed it in a mundane way, playing all the time in the background like wallpaper with a pattern you've stopped noticing. I needed to identify with it, I needed it to make me feel complicated emotions I'd never felt before; it could comfort me or repulse me, soothe me or force me to look outward, echo my own sentiments or expand my mind to fit new ones. Music (and the bands/people who made it) served as my mentor, my older sibling, my voice of reason and, at times, bad influence. When you're an only child from a fractured family, you spend a lot of time in your room. Your hobbies can become your closest friends. Music became my savior and my most time-consuming, all-encompassing, money-draining pursuit. My savings account would be at least triple its current amount had I not been so obsessed with seeing bands and collecting their records. Perhaps I would have created more things of my own if I'd not spent so much time fawning over the creations of others. My personality would have been entirely different if, early on in my youth, I had not blatantly lifted the clothes and mannerisms and styles of those I looked up to or had not read the books and watched the movies they had championed. For better or worse, art -- this specific form of art, music -- has been and continues to be a transformative force in my life. At the very center of this were two bands, R.E.M. and The Smiths, and specifically two people: Michael Stipe and Morrissey. My first two real heroes, with now only the former still on the pedestal I built when I was around 11 or 12. I moved to a new neighborhood and school district when I was in second grade, and became fast friends with a boy my age who lived one street over. Nathan and I shared a lot of the same interests, and as we started middle school, a deep obsession with those two aforementioned bands and frontmen (and, also, Depeche Mode and Dave Gahan). Nathan was gay before either one of us knew what that meant, and was often mocked for this -- I was made fun of, too, but for reasons far less difficult for me than coming to terms with my sexuality as an adolescent. But, for our own reasons, we were outcasts, seeking comfort in our chosen art. This was conservative Georgia in the late '80s/early '90s, a time well before the Internet, before easily accessible media, when role models were fought for tooth and nail, with plans having to be made on how to save enough allowance for cassette tapes, older friends or siblings bribed to purchase things with "parental advisory" labels we'd smuggle into our rooms later. I can barely put into words what hearing (and seeing!) Morrissey for the first time did to us -- did FOR us! For Nathan, in such an environment, Morrissey became a blueprint for queerness, the very first peek into the very POSSIBILITY of life as a grown man who wasn't either an alpha male jock, like all the ones at our school, or stern businessman with a briefcase, like all of our (step)dads. He was the first person to, with his mannerisms and his very existence, communicate to Nathan that it was perfectly fine (and cool even!) to, in the words of the bullies, "act like a girl." And the magical thing is, he somehow simultaneously did the exact opposite for me! As a masculine tomboy, I saw in him a person so easily blurring the lines of both! He made me feel better about the qualities I had so often been told "weren't ladylike." We talked about him constantly. We dressed like him. It goes without saying that his music was playing in the background nearly every time we hung out. I remember my mom allowing me to stay up late to watch Johnny Carson the night Morrissey was on -- I was 12, and I absolutely remember my mom getting angry, watching alongside me as Morrissey fans screamed over Bill Cosby (gulp) as he tried to talk. The next year, Morrissey was on Saturday Night Live, and my mom let me go over to Nathan's house to watch it (our parents became very close friends as well). He taped it on their VCR as we watched, and we immediately played it back. We watched it probably every day for months. We didn't have the money to buy all of his back catalog, so an older kid in my youth group at church let me borrow his Smiths CDs, and I dubbed copies on my tape deck for us. I sat and hand-wrote the lyrics down on notebook paper, carefully transcribing from the liner notes as the tape recorded. It's difficult for me to be eloquent here, and I always find it hard to convey these feelings to people who are, well, normal, who can hear a song and go, "That's nice!" and not have to immediately know its backstory, who wrote it, why they wrote it, what inspires them, what books they read, etc. Who don't feel their insides twist into knots when a turn of phrase meets a melody and the combination makes them feel understood in a way they never have, sets them at ease in a way that even the kind words of the closest relative couldn't do. That is absolutely how I felt the first time I heard The Smiths. When you're 12, at least when I was 12, the last people you feel like you can talk to about your feelings are your parents; and for Nathan, doubly so, as I don't think he could even articulate his until Morrissey's lyrics shed some light on what he'd been going through. So, for us, this guy was so far from "just a singer" -- he was a beacon, a mentor, he told us it was okay to be effeminate and okay to be masculine and okay that you didn't get invited to the parties because staying in your room reading books was more glamorous anyway. The world wasn't made for people like us and that should be worn as a badge of honor, not shame. Such a message was REVELATORY for a girl whose every male role model had let her down or left entirely and a boy who didn't want to play football or shoot guns. The obsession continued and deepened, and in high school, became full on reliance. Who better to help me navigate the emotional minefield that is the teen years than Morrissey? I didn't drink, I didn't smoke, I didn't do drugs, I didn't "party," I didn't even so much as hold a boy's hand until I was a couple weeks shy of 16 years old -- all of the things that kids considered fun and did on a regular basis were so foreign to me, until I got home to my bedroom and was soothed by the voice of a guy who also did not participate in any of the above. I didn't really know anyone in real life who seemed to understand my plight more than the man whose voice was blasting out of my speakers. To me, Morrissey was always absolutely the voice of the underdogs. The weirdos. The outcasts. The disenfranchised. Anyone who felt left out, let down, misunderstood, too sensitive, too sad. He was there to comfort us, understanding and empathetic to our needs while giving the finger to the system and the people therein who were keeping us down, shoving us into lockers, ripping the glasses off our faces and stomping on them in front of their domineering friends. When someone writes songs as seemingly personal as Morrissey's, you tend to think you know them. And in my case, having read so many books about him (and now some BY him), I felt that way, to a degree. I like to think of myself as a rational person (perhaps after reading this far, you disagree), but I definitely felt a bit like I "knew" him in the sense that I'd picked up on words he'd frequently used ("vulgar" and "vile" were personal favorites), had working knowledge of the causes that were important to him, and certainly knew his favorite bands and movies and authors. I'd even been lucky enough to meet him quite a few times, especially after moving to Los Angeles, where I'd see him at restaurants and shows, and he was always cordial (if not downright sweet) to me every time we spoke. Of course I'd heard stories about him "being a dick," but that never bothered me, truly, only because I think that's kind of relative, and perhaps a lack of manners or catching someone on a bad day is a bummer, and the "temperamental artist" archetype exists for a reason. Sure, it's ideal that someone you admire is nice to you should you ever interact, but a surly encounter would not cause me to write someone off completely. So, because of this, well, perhaps delusion, I was able to explain away certain statements, such as calling Chinese people a "subspecies" while addressing animal rights, because I knew of his history of exaggeration when trying to get his point across about that subject in particular, the one perhaps dearest to his heart. (And I won't pretend that white privilege didn't play a part; it's undoubtedly and shamefully easier to conveniently ignore something when you aren't the target.) This person's main place in my life thus far was almost as a therapist, so the possibility of him having anything other than the best of intentions seemed so unlikely. But the words became harder to parse, excuses harder to make. Playing the contrarian for the sake of it isn't helpful (or even entertaining) in times like these. You aren't at the Algonquin Round Table. You're courting Stormfronters. It's not funny or charming. I don't expect every artist I look up to (or even every friend or acquaintance in my life) to share my exact same views, but when your band wears T-shirts supporting the Black Panthers yet you voice your support for the likes of Nigel Farage, how does the cognitive dissonance not paralyze you? You change lyrics to songs to slam Trump, yet you basically share his views on immigration? You imply that a gay teenager -- arguably the demographic most deeply affected by your art -- is at fault for the predatory behavior of an adult? You've told anyone who will listen that you were raised on feminist literature, yet you claim the female victims of Harvey Weinstein -- a man who hired fuckin' BLACK OPS to spy on his accusers to make sure they never came forward, so calculated were his plans -- were just "disappointed" that their RAPES didn't result in career advancement?! WHO ARE YOU. Who is this person saying this? The very person who gave me the strength to stand against the establishment has become the establishment! The person whose voice soothed with empathy and compassion for outsiders like me has become someone I would have crossed the street to avoid. The bullied has become the bully. He has, for years now, exhibited the very closemindedness I thought he was trying to free us from. Is it just an inevitability that the spoils of success will change a person? If you isolate yourself and invite no one into your circle who will ever question you, is this the result? Contempt for the very people who supported you for so long? A quality I used to admire in Morrissey was his obstinance, but I've found as I've aged myself, standing by opinions for the sake of it, refusing to allow yourself to grow and change as more information becomes available, to never soften your heart and swallow your pride and apologize when you've realized you might have been wrong about something -- that's not admirable, that's cowardice. I appreciate it more when people admit they don't know enough about a subject to comment on it instead of making a statement just for attention. My heart is broken. The man I looked to as an oasis of sensitivity in a desert of toxicity seems, well, just plain mean and vengeful now. I refuse to be cynical, and I refuse to be someone who says, "That's what you get for having heroes." Perhaps the lesson here is just knowing when to let go. And that it was indeed the songs that saved my life, not the man.

Fifteen-year-old me in my bedroom.

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theharellan · 7 years ago

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RP POSITIVITY MEME

DAY 14: FREE DAY!

so this whole week i’ve kept myself from mentioning joly when possible. i promo joly on my dash every day. my very existence is a joly promo. it was mostly a way to make sure that i gave other people attention, and also b/c i saw the last day was a free day and wanted to use it to write about how much i love joly’s characters.

if it weren’t for joly i doubt i’d still be here. that’s not to say that i didn’t love rping solas beyond what i have with joly, but after my hiatus it was the desire to rp with joly again that really brought me back. and i’m so thankful for that b/c it’s allowed me to meet ppl like merc and lisa and kae, ppl who either weren’t around or i didn’t know before. also just when i was having a rough time last year and whenever i’ve had a rough time since then joly’s been there for me. they’re a really special person, who deserves even more kind words written about them than their characters do. but if i keep going i’ll probably make myself cry.

suffice to say if you like my blog, then you have joly to thank. not just for me being here, but how their ocs have shaped my solas. i cannot recommend joly’s blogs enough. they don’t have as much time as they did to write, but it doesn’t make them any less dedicated to their characters as someone who posts a dozen things a day.

before i get to their actual blogs, i want to talk about the npcs or characters that no longer have rp blogs.

first, deshanna. i’ve loved how they made a mother who is flawed and sympathetic, and who i don’t feel 100% good about solas disliking her in modern. it’s my secret desire to be able to rp in a thread where she’s npc’d one day, either in modern or batb. next, layne. what a piece of shit. i don’t know TOO much about layne, and i’m in this position where i want to know more but also i dread it. hoping one day solas and mio can shank him. and then, june. june had a blog (and may again one day??) and he was a fuckin hermit mamma’s boy that was too boring for fen to want to have anything to do with. joly’s recently been toying with some ideas for his character that i think only strengthen what they have, and i’m excited.

@ancientimpudence -

mio is petty. mio is mean. mio is stand-offish. mio is loyal. mio is driven. mio is honest. i love mio.

if you want a character who is flawed and not always nice, you’ll love mio. they’re a really good example of how you can make a character not always be a very pleasant person, but still get plenty of rp mileage off of them and develop meaningful relationships. how two characters’ relationship can somehow be incredibly deep and yet broken. i love what joly and i have built for mio and solas, two ancient friends who aren’t always the best friends.

i could really talk about about their relationship. solas goes through a period where he becomes very empathetic and in-tune with the problems of everyone around him, but mio’s somehow always escape him. i love the gap, and i love how it’s both not his fault b/c mio hides how they feel, but also he needs to do better by them. i love how mio wants what’s best for solas and their cause, while simultaneously suggesting things that actually wouldn’t be best for solas, because mio isn’t omnipotent and is also, to an extent, still trying to keep solas as he was.

i love how mio doesn’t like ian but is still there to help him. i love how mio expresses themself in ways not everyone understands. i love how modern mio has purse dogs and brings vher food b/c they spent all weekend playing the sims.

and vher / mio?? one of those ships that just kinda happened. one of the best things about talking to joly about characters is how often two just kinda cling to one another. vher is aro and can’t return the romantic feelings mio feels for them (and open enough to be accepting when mio finds romantic love elsewhere) but they still care for mio so much. everything about mio that i listed above, even the petty and vain stuff, vher loves. also sometims vher decides they wanna kiss mio and i can only imagine what it does to the poor child.

basically, what i’m getting at here is, joly lets mio be flawed but also shows how those flaws can still lead to positive interactions. joly lets mio be unadmirable at times, but still likeable and lovable. joly introduced some extra diversity in background to the rebellion and i’m eternally thankful tbh.

@betterthanmaps -

harding is one of those characters everyone adores, and so it makes sense that joly, one of the most adorable ppl on the planet, chose to write her. i love seeing characters with stable and normal backstories. harding is just such a steady influence, and i’ve loved seeing her contrasted with the sad backstories most canons and ocs possess. which i wanna be clear isn’t a criticism of sad backstories! i merely mean that it’s also nice seeing variety. not everyone has had a past that has made them cruel or kind, some people were raised by caring parents and lived simple lives until they heard the call to adventure. those people are just as interesting and worthy of telling stories about.

joly’s harding reminds me somewhat of tolkien’s hobbits, i suppose, now that i’m writing this out. and they’re some of my fave characters in literature. only w/ harding we also get fun dragon age dwarfy lore-- someone who is as un-dwarfy as varric but not quite so loud about it and we get actual queer representation.

@spiritualjourneys -

i adore spirits? i do not adore how the fandom treats spirits. things like treating human cole as superior to spirit cole, rather than a person making different choices, both paths making them happy, even if one is for reasons we can’t all understand. pinning everything wrong with anders in da2 on justice. assuming lord woolsey, an innocent spirit-ram who has done nothing but help, has always been a rage demon (even tho the ways in which he has been shown to help the family that adopted him aren’t typical rage-related qualities) but ANYWAY.

the point is, spirits are given something of a raw deal by the fandom and are almost always judged by their ability to conform to human standards. joly’s spirit multi is fuckin fantastic and making spirits different and complex and alien, while also familiar and very much people rather than set pieces in the stories of others. though all of them started out as npcs created by either joly (love, sincerity), myself (joy), or bioware (wisdom) it took joly no time at all to establish their stories. love and joy especially...

what i appreciate about love is the path they took to get where they are. how they weren’t always love, how they focus upon a specific kind of love, how they can’t always see when love is best working past. though i’ve only just started rping peace, i’m in love (get it) with the dynamic the two of them have formed. how they balance one another out and keep one another from straying too far into their own interests, and thereby corrupting themselves. it’s a dynamic that i wasn’t expecting at all when i made peace as an au to my zenyatta blog, but i think that’s the amazing thing about writing with joly. something falls into place and then it grabs you and the idea just won’t let go.

and as for joy, it’s probably the least developed of the spirits, having no form that’s recognisably alive nevermind a person. but it demonstrates well, i think, how “humanity” in elvhenan wasn’t defined by shape. when solas says he dislikes when people see him as just a pair of pointed ears, and that he doesn’t necessarily identify much with modern elves, the idea is expressing multiple things. one of them, i think, is that being an elf sometimes meant being a physical body with pointed ears, but sometimes you could just be bubbles and you’d still be considered a valid member of elvhen society. joy doesn’t exist as we do. joy forgets, joy prefers to never touch the earth, and it exists in a state of cycles to keep itself from becoming something like despair. joly depicts the beauty and the drawbacks of existing in this state and i’m just??? so glad they decided to write joy. b/c they do it more justice than i ever could.

@paragoninexile -

tam’s new blog isn’t fully set up but i wanna talk about her anyway. tam is a good hero and a good person, and in many ways sort of made to be a hero. when i found out about tam i was rly excited simply b/c she was very much like my warden, only with so much more care and thought put into her that now she’s basically replaced my canon warden in my heart.

i think my favourite thing about tam is how much of a front she puts up for everyone. crowning bhelen, even if it meant the death of another father figure. recruiting loghain, even if it meant losing her friend or possibly lover. it shows that even neutral good heroes still have to make decisions that could be considered ruthlessly practical. bhelen is not necessarily the better choice morally, especially not as an aeducan (especially especially not as an aeducan who doesn’t kill trian). i imagine tam knows that crowning him will have dire consequences not just for harrowmont, but the entire harrowmont line. she does it anyway, not because she wants to, but because for orzammar it’s the best choice.

i’ve loved finally having a chance to write one of my fave dragon age ships: gorim/aeducan. i have a weakness for ships who have been together since they were only young, and the progression they take in the au is so good?? being able to find freedom for their love in a life that is literally killing tamar, and the reason they only get 12 or so happy years together rather than 50. but tam is so good that i’m honestly proud to be able to give her those twelve years with gorim. one day i’m gonna make joly hurt w/ thoughts about the kid gorim adopts after tam dies and who he tells them all about. 8)

@cadashsmash -

cadri i think was the first joly character i interacted with, though i believe i remember ian from way way back when i tried rping merrill and couldn’t quite get a foothold like i did with solas and thora.

i’m in love with dwarves u all should know this, so ofc i’m in love with cadri. i love how rough around the edges she is, how she tries to do the right thing, and how doing so can lead to some messed up shit like killing abelas. the work joly’s done with reaver lore is perfect, working with how dirty and raw the specialisation is without making it too hardcore for an inquisitor to ever hope to specialise in it (stop assuming all reavers are cannibals fandom smh). one of my fave threads on thora continues to be the post-battle thread where both are recovering from the drawbacks of their own specialisations and clash because of them. it’s just a really unique idea that is what makes writing with joly so... rounded? like i’m never just writing one thing with joly. they push me as a writer in the best possible way.

overall cadri is just a rly excellent character who, like tam and harding, do credit to dwarves that the series doesn’t always. i’ve loved exploring how differently her and thora react to their position in life, i’ve loved seeing cadri’s anger or indifference towards dwarven society. it’s so valid and realistic and good. i’ve loved exploring the specific ways in which she bucks the presumptions solas has about dwarves, how even in universes where she’s not inquisitor her individuality is still nothing he expects from her kind and how she changes him anyway. i also will always be fond of this being their friendship song.

cadri: hey solas, what d’you call a flower before it opens? solas: a bud. cadri: I LOVE IT WHEN YOU CALL ME BUD. solas: UGHH.

@dalishfreckles -

it’s really hard to not write a post just about ian, honestly. all of joly’s characters are special to me, but i won’t deny ian is my favourite and has a very important place in my heart. if i were to truthfully answer those top 5 fave characters questions, ian would be on there no question.

as someone who goes through some of the same struggles as ian, he’s inspirational. seeing him struggle to keep surviving, to keep loving, to keep helping even when everything inside him is screaming to stop. i love seeing him make mistakes, honest ones or ones born of anxiety. b/c anxiety is more than just hating yourself or having trouble talking to people, although that is very real. sometimes anxiety can cause you to project some really terrible things onto people, things that aren’t really fair to them.

when i see ian doing things like... projecting his own feelings of worthlessness onto solas, assuming he must think the same rather than giving solas a chance to explain? it’s realistic, and it’s not good. it’s trying to pull people into the same destructive game you do to yourself. it’s also realistic, esp since in the thread i’m referring to solas fucked up and has shit to apologise for. idk, it’s just really comforting to see ian pull the same shit that i do, but knowing he’s still a good person and that i love him is an act of self love.

ian’s an important character for so many reasons, that i could probably write a 20 page thesis on him and his development / how much he means to me. i’m proud of him so much. i’m proud when he finds the strength to tease solas, i’m proud when he stands up for himself, even when he’s standing up against the people he loves. especially when, tbh. how as he grows he can see inara’s faults but doesn’t hate her for them, and tries to help her, when he’s under no obligation to. how he still tries to connect with solas after solas coldly brushes him off the first time ian admonishes him. and i love how joly shows it’s not easy. none of it is. and that ian has to keep choosing to be good, it makes everything he does that much more meaningful.

finally, ian isn’t a hero, necessarily. he’s not the sort of person people tell stories about, which is one reason i love the solas/ian pairing so much. it’s really all about the person for solas, and ian is just so much about what solas loves about people. it’s not always about battles and heroes, sometimes it’s just about a person who has the patience and love in them to make a tree grow in the middle of a desert alienage. sometimes the most wonderful things about people are the little, radical things they do for themselves and those they love rather than how they change the world.

this has gotten to be very long, and probably rambling, but to be fair to me this is like two weeks of joly-positivity i’ve been holding in.

i’ll probably be doing one more free day tomorrow, even if today is the last day, just to do a v general positive post for those i follow. but i wanted to take at least one day to credit the person who has inspired me with their words and characters. like. this was just their characters? i didn’t even get a chance to go into the ways joly’s prose shines, how it’s descriptive and yet never difficult to comprehend. how many different types of plots they’re here for.

but to make a long story short, joly is an incredibly talented writer. i’ve said this before, but i can look back on things i’ve written years ago with joly and still like what i wrote (as well as what they wrote but that should go w/o saying), which is a rare feeling, simply b/c joly lets me access the best writer in me. we often here in the rpc use “muse” as a shorthand for “character we write that inspires us” and i’ve found it a difficult word to rly use-- simply b/c joly and their characters are as much my muses as my own characters. at least in the sense that thinking about them inspires me to write.

tl;dr- pls follow and write with joly. b/c the only thing i love as much as writing with joly is reading what they write with other people.

#[ sure do hate this tumblr glitch ]#( positivity )#dalishfreckles #( ooc )#rpc positivity week

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simonalkenmayer · 8 years ago

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i scrolled through a grand total of 3 posts on tejuina’s blog before coming across one where she & another person were referring to martine rothblatt as a “rich white man” and accusing her of trying to steal her wife’s agency, but yeah, sure anon, she’s definitely not a terf. /s

I don’t know why that anon felt it necessary to come here to insist that she was not a TERF. I presume it was either tejuina herself or one of her readers. I will think the best of my gentle readers and not consider it to be one of mine. If it is, I hope they read this and see that they were misinformed.

Anyway, my point about TERF and this entire situation is as follows:

I comprehend the TERF point of view (Follow me and I will not fail you. I said I comprehend it, not that I agree with it).

I can see why women are tired of being underprivileged, disenfranchised, belittled, and oppressed. I comprehend that in very deep ways. I can also comprehend why they would be aggressive, defensive, forceful, or adamant about preserving their rights or reclaiming their autonomy. I can see why they wouldn’t give a damn what men think about that. I can see why they would want to remove stigma from the female body and champion the normalizing of womanhood.

The problem I have with the entire TERF ideology is the innate hypocrisy of it. How can you stand there and scream that a person should not be judged and oppressed for their biological parts, and then judge and mock someone for their biological parts? How can you say that women deserve to be equal with men (rightly) and then denounce biological females who present as or transition to male? How can you, with a bold face, discuss the policing of your gender and then turn around and police your gender, defining what it should and shouldn’t look like? How can you assert that your own journey through your gender and identity is valid, while robbing someone of their right to experience their gender as a journey, coming about in phases of understanding and self-searching?

This world isn’t “everybody for their own”. It’s everybody for the progress of life and thought. Otherwise, it is everyone for nothing that amounts to anything. Everyone must be free or none of us are. Conditional freedom is not freedom. Conditional respect is not respect. Conditional decorum is not decorum.

So let me outline this chain of events, so that i can address this particular interaction (you can go to the original post and see her comments for yourself).

I reblog her post

Someone reblogs it from me and makes a terf comment.

I reply with my remarks “I interpreted this as including trans women. If you know something I don’t please explain”

I then received several messages saying this blog was a known TERF blog.

I tried going to the blog, could not access it, assumed I had been blocked, and deleted my reblogs.

I received the ask saying “that person is a terf”

I answered.

Without provocation, She screen capped my words, posted them to her site, and then mocked me. Which I did not know.

Someone informed me this had been done.

I simultaneously saw that she had replied to my post with her “I didn’t block you”,

the comments go back and forth from there and you can read them for yourself

Why this list, Simon? This is silly! Petty! Beneath you!

I agree. I made the list so that the behavior is documented and clear to those reading. This person, regardless of whether or not they are a TERF, is a bully and when passively called on their behavior, insists it isn’t bullying, then pretends as if she doesn’t know why anyone would be annoyed, then tells the wronged party how they should feel, then plays the victim. This is manipulative.

My first remark was to defend her from someone who I thought had slighted her. Her reply was to take that defense and turn it into a joke at my expense and then to tell me why I shouldn’t be offended by it (something men use quite a bit on women, if I’m not mistaken). She steals other people’s words to put forth a cohesive theme that contributes to an ideology that is both hypocritical and abusive. If that doesn’t tell you what sort of person she is, regardless of politics or beliefs, I don’t know how better to inform you.

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toogoodmusic · 4 years ago

Audio

THE TOO GOOD TEN with Drew William

The Canadian Football Player and up and coming singer-songwriter Drew William follows up the early 2021 debut EP Room with the latest Message In A Bottle EP.

While playing music in coffee shops and restaurants for the past few years the athlete took advantage of the canceled football season last year to really dive into his musical passion. Now with six songs released, William has proven his ability to pull at your heartstrings with raw and honest songs that while personal to him can be healing and relatable to anyone who listens. A genuine level of intimacy blossoms in every song that gives way for his music to be both enjoyable alone or with close friends and family.

The latest EP release continues that level of intimacy that his fans have come to expect.The two song project features a brand new original release, “California Coastline” that gives ode to William’s home state while also paying respect to a song close to the singer’s heart with a cover of Post Malone’s “A Thousand Bad Times.” Find out more about Drew William and the latest EP by checking out his Too Good Ten below:

1. Starting from the beginning, when did music start for you? How did you realize you wanted to make a career out of it?

DREW WILLIAM: The beginning is in a one bedroom apartment on Morley Ave. Some discreet little red building in a town most of the world has never heard of; Winnipeg, MB. I picked up the acoustic guitar three years ago in that apartment and have played it every single day since. I came into music naturally. Playing for friends, playing open mics, playing restaurants, pubs, and now going for it in the real music world. Have my first full-set show at Burt Cummings Theatre on April 20th. I feel this is my first big stepping stone.

DREW WILLIAM LIVE STREAM ON RED TIE LIVE’S FACEBOOK ON APRIL 20TH @ 8:00pm EST / 5:00pm PST. CLICK HERE TO WATCH.

2. You were born in California, went to college in Minnesota and now live in Canada. How have those three experiences make their influence into your music? Any of the (3) stick out as being most influential?

DW: I like the surfer rock style a lot, that nostalgic almost drunk atmosphere that it places you inside. And when I moved to the Midwest it was a lot more folk and ballads. I guess I kind of have two sides to myself: this very twenty-six year old feeling his way through life and this old soul that feels like it’s already made the mistakes and is trying to come out and wisen me up. It’s an interesting mix of the two.

3. Congrats on the release of the debut EP, Room. What was the biggest learning from putting together and releasing a debut EP?

DW: To trust in my gut, and to not be so critical on myself. I knew that mixing and producing my own music was a risk, because It was a lonely venture into a world I was just learning about. I knew that I might not have the skills of a veteran who has been doing it for years. But at the same time, I wanted to enter music absolutely as myself. From the get go I wanted to share myself; no matter how rusty or beginner that sounded. I look at all this as a growth of music and a growth of self. I’m having to learn to let go of a lot of insecurities and fears, and for that I have to thank my own music.

4. And now fans have an additional taste of your music with the release of the Message In A Bottle EP. What’s the EP title mean to you?

DW: “Message in a Bottle” came to me from a line in the lyrics: It says, “On that California Coastline / We’re fire and rain at the same time / I found a bottle on the sea / With a message on the inside / Is a tale about a lost love / From a boy who held these memories.” It’s this goodbye to a past version of myself, to the old loves and it’s this intimate goodbye because it’s more than just memory it’s a part of soul, too, that no longer serves.

So the throwing of the bottle is this closure; a letter written and sealed by the same person. An opening up and a goodbye. This seems to be what growth feels like now. Maybe that will change in appearance, or feel differently, I’ll find out. But for now, this feels like a goodbye to an old self, with a mindset of growing up whilst not losing that child inside that makes all of this fun and freeing.

5. You’re not only a musician but also a wide receiver for the Canadian Football League team Winnipeg Blue Bombers. How do you balance being both an artist and an athlete? What’s the biggest challenge of pursing both careers?

DW: This past season was cancelled so it became a focus point to work on my music. This year as we anticipate a season, I have to tread carefully because it’s something I have never done, two things simultaneously. I used to believe these two worlds had to be separate, music and football. But it has proven to be quite the contrary. It has opened the doors for my music to be heard, and I will continue to see them as supporting roles in my life.

6. As an athlete is it tough for you to show a more vulnerable side through your music?

DW: It is. I’ll be straight up honest. There is a lot of insecurity on a football team. Egos, hyper masculinity, these things exist everywhere. But there are guys who are so much more than this sport. I hope to be an example to kids who are afraid to show their emotions, show them that you can be so many different things in life and still maintain your truest essence. I just live passionately, whether that’s on the field or on stage, I’m putting it all on the line.

7. Do you have any funny/fun/weird fan interaction stories you can share?

DW: I was supposed to play this little curb-side concert, this family won it in a little raffle I held and when I showed up it was just one couple. The wife was wasted and the husband was 30 years older than her. Their son came in and out of the room where I half heartedly played for them (he was schizophrenic but was the most normal person in the house). And then there daughter came up from the basement wearing all leather like she was about to hit the corner. She was probably thirty-five, filming me on her phone.. I was very weirded out. The wife had made bacon pirogi's for me. I told her I was a vegetarian. She didn’t understand why someone would do that…. And she kissed me on the cheek when I left. I was very disturbed ha-ha.

8. If you could headline a music festival – which one would be the dream festival? And who would be your choice for the other (2) acts that would headline the other two nights of the festival?

DW: I really think me, The Lumineers and Ziggy Alberts could all put on a nice little folk fest. I wanna play the Red Rocks Amphitheatre in CO. Just an unbelievable venue. Not sure if there is a festival there though! I’ll go to anywhere that will take me at this point!

9. If you could only listen to (5) artists for the rest of your life who would they be?

DW: So basically my life anyway? Ha, I kid I kid. Truthfully: Mt. Joy, The National, Angus & Julia Stone, Cat Stevens & Zella Day

10. What’s the rest of 2021 look like for Drew William?

DW: A whole lot of learning, relationship building, collaboration, and diving deep inside and bringing out The best and truest art. I can feel my life changing before me, it’s frightening but exhilarating. Ready for this ride!

We’re ready for that ride as well! Shout-out to Drew William for hanging for this Too Good Ten. Keep updated with Drew by following along with the links below and be sure to tune TOMORROW, April 20th @ 8:00pm EST / 5:00pm PST right HERE.

Facebook

Instagram

Website

YouTube

The Too Good Ten interview series is dedicated to giving you a quick glimpse at some of the freshest voices in music. Ten Questions. One Artist. Too Good. Let’s go.

While The Too Good Ten is dedicated to just highlighting ten questions from an artist, Too Good Music was lucky enough to score an additional two questions from Drew...check them out below:

BONUS QUESTION #1: Congrats on the new releases of “California Coastline” and the cover of Post Malone’s “A Thousand Bad Times.” What surprised you/or what might people not know about the process of covering and releasing your own version of another artist’s song?

DW: The part I was focused on was really making it my own version. Something people know but don’t know, so it feels like an entirely different ride. I wanted also to pay my respects to the song. It meant a lot to me. I’m sure it helped a lot of people. It’s also a message I needed to hear, especially now. We all need this reminder. We’re all feeling something right now, no need to hide that. This is a very hard time. But we are resilient people and it’s been a gift to witness and a gift to make music that continues to carry this message of resiliency and strength.

BONUS QUESTION #2: Your Quarantine Campfire series on IG live – where you perform, do Q&A’s and bring along friend’s and guests – is awesome. How’d you come up with that concept and would be a dream guest on the series?

DW: This was an extension of the in-person curb-side-concerts I was doing throughout the summer. Creating an intimate and safe place to share music, highlight some local artists and just have fun with the community. Man… My dream guest. Probably Zella Day cuz I got a lot respect for her music and I once saw her sing “Man on the Moon” on YouTube, all acoustic, and I was blown away. It would hit perfectly on my quarantine campfire.

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movietvtechgeeks · 8 years ago

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Latest story from https://movietvtechgeeks.com/top-5-supernatural-episodes-might-surprise-spnfamily/

Top 5 'Supernatural' episodes that might surprise SPNFamily

Socially, we’re conditioned to ask the basics when we meet people. You know, the small talk questions: Where are you from? What do you do? How many siblings do you have? Eventually, we progress into the hard-hitting ‘getting to know yous’ of relationships, even if it’s reading someone’s words. Favorite song? Favorite book? Favorite movie? The thing is, people sometimes lie. Whether they mean to or not. No one’s favorite book is Anna Karenina; it’s just not. You can respect the book, but it’s not your favorite; you don’t revisit it regularly, it’s not a comforting blanket you burrito yourself inside. For example, my favorite song, book, and movie, respectively, are: “Just What I Needed” by The Cars, “Death Comes as the End” by Agatha Christie, and “A Few Good Men.” Have I heard better songs? Sure, as one of my best friend’s husband once said: “‘Just What I Needed’ isn’t even Ric Ocasek’s favorite song.” Have I read better books? Absolutely. Are there better movies? No. And I will fight you. My point is: sometimes I think that society, or in this case fandom culture, makes us feel as though we should choose things that we may like a lot but also simultaneously live up to some arbitrary social standard or norm, as our favorite. In Supernatural fandom I often see the same few episodes held up as universal fan favorites; episodes like “Yellow Fever,” “Changing Channels,” “The French Mistake,” “Swan Song,” and “Baby.” Maybe these episodes are your faves, but they aren’t mine; not even close. I’m not even talking about the episodes I think are the all-around best or the most quintessential (we’ll get into that in another article). I mean these don’t even make my top ten, they aren’t my go-to episodes, the ones I’ve watched the most, the ones I’ll watch out of sequence just because I want to relive the entire thing on a random Tuesday afternoon. In fact, one of those example episodes is in my bottom ten. So, which out of over 265 episodes, are my favorites? I’ll tell you not because I’m telling you that I think these are the best episodes and that you should agree (again, that arrogance will come in another article), but because I think this is a fun introduction. A way for you all to get to know me. Sin City - I’ll admit that “Sin City” isn’t the best episode ever penned, the quips are heavy-handed, and the plot is simplistic. Honestly, it’s kinda middle of the road, but that’s what makes it re-watchable without the emotional hangover of “Mystery Spot” or “Fresh Blood” (Besides, we’ll get into those episodes in a later article. What “Sin City” does have is a great supporting cast: we get to see Katie Cassidy finally start to her get bearings playing Ruby 1.0, we get a great scene at the beginning where Sam and Dean are such bratty, yet lovable surrogate children to Bobby, we meet and mourn Richie, the perv with a heart of gold, (I mean, he’s basically Dean (Jensen Ackles) without the suave or skill), and we cozy up in a basement with Casey the bartender demon who is insightful, witty, and deadly, but her quid pro quo with Dean gives us a good dose of classic cocky Dean Winchester who is also a scared little boy underneath it all. Bonus, we also get the rare unicorn that is goofy, chagrinned Sammy as he backs his way out of Trotter’s office. And anyway, if you don’t catch yourself saying “I make a mean hurricane” every time you look at the Red Lobster drink menu you are living your life wrong. Ask Jeeves - now, I’m going to stop you before you tell me that Fan Fiction is the best episode of season 10, because it’s really, REALLY not. It’s arguably in the bottom three of the season. “Ask Jeeves,” however, was a perfect play on the movie that inspired it (which is one of the best movies of all time, again, I will fight you) and was another episode overflowing with a great supporting cast with fantastic comedic timing. For an episode that was primarily a loose tie-in to the release of the Supernatural Clue game it could have gone so wrong, but instead, it went so very right. The soundtrack is stellar, the jokes and pop culture references are on point without being concussion-inducing anvils, and the mystery itself is background to the story without being disappointing. “Ask Jeeves” is a comedic romp with a nice little hit of Winchester family feelings; it’s a bread and butter Supernatural episode. Besides, Dash hunts pheasants. He. Hunts. Pheasants. Caged Heat - This is an ensemble style episode done right. We get one of the best interactions between Sam/Dean and a demon to ever grace the show (props to character actor Conrad Coates for delivering, “I know you're speaking, I see your lips moving, but I can't understand what you're saying 'cause I don't speak little bitch,” because that line is a mouthful) and from that we slide seamlessly into Meg getting the drop on the boys and Sam turning it on her in the blink of an eye because he now understands her calculating nature so well. Speaking of calculating, Sam using the the plot of Raiders of the Lost Ark to lure Castiel to him is a perfect segue into their mutually soulless tête-à-tête (full disclosure, season 6 Castiel is my favorite version of Castiel). We also get Meg taking on a pack of hellhounds, Dean threatening Samuel, Sam (Jared Padalecki) biting into his wrist to draw a Devil’s Trap with his own blood (that bloody grin is everything), Dean rescuing Meg from demon Christian. Then we get the brothers and Meg working in tandem against Crowley in perfect harmony, the fake-out Crowley death that we only later find out was all a set up between Crowley and Castiel (Misha Collins) who were working together all along. It’s an episode that works on your first watch, yet is even more brilliant in retrospect. Night Shifter - Okay, I’ll be up front, season 2 is not only my favorite season of Supernatural but one of my favorite seasons of television. Period. Even its weakest episode is still so damn good, but if I have to choose one to go on a list that is based on simple re-watchability, I have to hand it to this one. Meet conspiracy theorist Ronald Resnik; he’s that character that every procedural or genre show needs at least once a season; the one who is wholly unqualified, but still tries to be the hero. Not for the glory, but because lives are at stake and the right thing has to be done. We laugh at Ron and his mandroid ideas; Dean praises him, Sam shuts him down, both do it because he’s so close yet, oh, so far from the truth. And when Ronald gets shot (which while tragic, is gorgeously directed and edited) your heart breaks for both Dean and Ronald. You also get exactly that Sam wanted to keep him deep in the dark because the hunter life is nothing but pain and death. Speaking of impactful characters, we also meet Agent Henriksen in this episode, a character that is a perfect example of an outside POV of the Winchesters. His description of them being “dangerous, smart, and expertly trained” is so important because he doesn’t know what they really do, yet he understands who they are on a fundamental level, and while he wants to lock them up, he fully respects them as adversaries. This episode is cinematic; it literally feels like a complete movie. It’s beautifully shot, every actor brought their A-game (Dean’s little forehead punch when he hangs up with Henriksen is one of those tiny, silent details that makes a moment a moment). We get great dialogue (“I like him, he says okeydokey,” “its robot skin is so lifelike;’ Sam’s long-suffering “we’re not working for the mandroid!;’ Henriksen’s breakdown of the Winchester family that could have been clunky exposition but was instead just a smooth reminder of who they are with bonus (“yeah, I know about Sam, the Bonnie to your Clyde”). But if all that wasn’t enough, there’s also arguably the most iconic Supernatural moment and one of the top three musical cues of the show: Sam and Dean in stolen SWAT gear sneaking to the Impala while “Renegade” plays. I’ve seen this episode more times than I’m willing to admit, and I get chills at that moment every single time. Shadow - Yeah, I know, this is out of left field, but hear me out, because I think this episode is woefully underrated. First of all, we get a tiny peek into the Weechesters by way of Dean reminding Sam of his high school drama years. Not only did Dean remember Sam was in “Our Town,” he clearly went to the play to support his baby brother. We also get smart Sam AND Dean in this episode. Dean by way of visualizing the Daeva pattern in the victim’s blood and Sam using the flare against the Daeva shadow demons. Speaking of the brothers being brothers, there’s a lot to take in during this episode. Starting with them running into Meg and Dean being hurt by Sam telling her about their fight, but as soon as Sam reassures him that he’s with Dean by choice, not force, Dean slips right into teasing, wingman big bro mode. Add to that the subtle nod of trust we can infer by way of Sam taking Baby for his stakeout while Dean researches. This is an episode that on the surface is a basic hunt that ties into the now growing cohesive season throughline, but it’s actually all about family. There’s the brothers’ dynamic and the way their bond has solidified since “Scarecrow”, however, we also get to see Dean’s vulnerability when Sam naively thinks that this could be it, the end of it all, the catalyst back to “normal”, whereas Dean just wants his family together, hell or high water. There’s also the fact that no matter how you as a viewer personally feel about John Winchester, the demons know that he’s never far behind his boys; he’s always watching, always protecting them in his own way. And, of course, we get to see a full Winchester reunion complete with damp eyes, manly hugs and choked up voices. John Winchester saying, “hey boys”, the brothers saying “yes, sir” at the same time (this episode has two instances of Winsync Winspeak); John’s unspoken apologies; Dean’s face while Sam and John hug; Sam being the one who wants them all together, and Dean being the one to understand that they can’t stay with John. John mirroring Sam’s earlier words to Dean about letting go. All of this will always make me emotional. This episode also has one of my favorite horror tropes, one that Supernatural has unfortunately pulled away from in recent years: it’s creepier when you don’t see what’s after you, like the great Steven Spielberg once said about “Jaws,” what’s scariest is the “fear of the unknown.” The mechanical shark forced Spielberg’s hand, and a crazy tight budget forced Eric Kripke’s, but it worked; the shark is terrifying because you don’t see it until the end, it’s the anticipation. It’s the same with the Daeva being shadow demons and later in seasons 2 and 3 with the hellhounds. Unfortunately, in recent seasons we’ve now seen hellhounds, and, well, they were scarier when all we had were torsos shredded by invisible claws and our imaginations. And as much as this episode was packed to the brim with Winchester family fat to chew on, they aren’t the only family. We find out that Meg is doing what she does for family as well. The overarching theme of Supernatural takes form in this episode; human, demon, ghost, or ghoul, it’s always about family in some way. [caption id="attachment_52142" align="aligncenter" width="696"] Source: Home of the Nutty screencaps for all images[/caption] So, like I said when we started this, my intention isn’t to say these are the best episodes of Supernatural, merely that these are my top 5 comfortable sweatpants episodes. So, did any of your favorites make my list? Did I make you want to re-watch an episode you don’t think much about as much? Let me know.

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