#while yes there was lots of hacking and spells

[momo-minomo]

Fic Fairy Fiday: Jason and Tim part 2

Behold the brotherly nut shot! After Titans tower Jason honestly deserved that. I was looking for a comic image of these two for this post and couldn't resist this one lol (it's from Teen Titans 47, I think)

If you missed part 1 of this list, you can find it and all my other fic rec lists here: The Fic Fairy Friday Masterpost

Anywho, happy reading!

Warm My Heart in the Sun by SilverSkiesAtMidnight

Summary:

The valet opens the door as he places a ticket under the windshield, a hot breeze lazily snaking its way into the backseat. Then, he climbs out and shuts the door behind him, and the air falls as still as a crumpled quilt. He doesn’t so much as glance at the backseat window as he walks away, leaving Tim alone to wait. And that’s… that’s probably fine! His parents did say that going to a gala with them was something for big kids to do, and he already knows big kids are supposed to be able to be able to be apart from their parents without throwing a fit, so maybe this is why. Maybe waiting like this is part of every grown-up event, and that’s why he needed to be a big boy before he could come with them. So yes. He can be a big boy. He can wait, alone. It’s even kind of exciting! He’s not sure he’s ever been completely alone, without even a nanny nearby. He just… well, he wishes they could have left the AC on while he waits.

Momo's Notes: TRIGGER WARNING for a small child having to saved after being left in a hot car. An 11 year old Jason is sulking about Bruce dragging him to a freaking WINE TASTING of all things when he notices some movement in one of parked cars. This is just a oneshot but my hope springs eternal that the author will one day decide to continue this. Poor little Timmy and Jason did NOT deserve this trauma but I'm hopeful it means a swift adoption. 😭

Hero on a Pedestal by Ktkat9

Summary:

Jason returns to the cave one night to find that Tim has been hit by a magic spell and is now ten. Old enough to recognize Jason as his favorite Robin… but not old enough to remember the night Jason had tried to kill him.

Momo's Notes: It's been years since Titan's Tower and Jason has reached a fairly comfortable antagonistic friendship with Tim. But when rogue regressed Tim to the age he was before Jason's death. Jason struggles with guilt and self-loathing at those adoring blue eyes looking up at him. Baby Timmy and Jason's heart to heart in this had me tearing up. Bonus points for Duke and Damian being good brothers and trying to protect both Jason and Tim's feelings.

Borrowed Time by A_Canceled_Stamp

Summary:

Save one person. Batman’s voice rumbles in Tim’s ears. Whoever is up there, even if it isn’t Robin, needs help. And while Tim's just...Tim, he isn’t useless. He can help. He has to.

In The Ground by A_Canceled_Stamp

Summary:

In the corner of his eye, a blurry shape rests on a bed. Jason sees a tangled mop of black hair poking out of the white covers. He sees the shadow of an open mouth, the tube that snakes up the boy’s chest and disappears down his throat. He wants to look away. He can't.

Momo's Notes: These two are one story so I just threw them both up together. It's an AU where Tim was adopted not long after Jason (As far as I know Ethiopia never happened in this AU). Tiny Tim isn't supposed to be involved in the vigilante shenanigans but he was worried so he hacked the batcomputer to warn him if anyone's emergency beacon goes off. It's sheer bad luck that Jason Wayne is kidnapped on a day that Batman and Nightwing are on a mission out of the city. Tim decides he has to rescue his brother himself and everything goes horribly wrong. Part 2 is Jason attempting to cope with the aftermath. This one battered my heart. These poor babies. Be aware this one is a lot of hurt and very little comfort.

The Next Life by spqr

Summary:

“I don’t need an exorcism,” Tim says. “I beg to bloody differ,” Constantine mutters. Nobly, Tim elects to ignore him. “I want you to teach me.” “Teach you what? Manners?” “I already know manners,” Tim says, then barrels on as Constantine snorts in disagreement, “what I need to learn is necromancy.”

Momo's Notes: Another great fic with kid!Timmy. Tim idolizes Robin, so when Robin dies and Batman starts going off the rails he decides there's only one way to fix this: learn Necromancy from an expert and bring Jason BACK. Constantine doesn't want to teach this kid to throw his life away but he needs the money and the brat is clearly not going to give up and go home so it's better he learn from him than someone who will teach him wrong. Despite the best magical education money can buy, though, Tim is still just a kid in way over his head and children have never been great at ensuring a fair deal.

Unexpected Guest by Jazzymin97

Summary:

Jason is rudely awoken by one Mr. Timothy Drake on his doorstep, looking exhausted and barely holding himself up. Jason wasn’t sure what he was expecting Tim to say, but “i didn’t know where else to go.” Surely hadn’t crossed his mind much less with the kid passing out on him. This’ll be a long night. ——— Or Tim shows up at Jason’s door, battered and bruised and desperately needing his big brothers to help him feel safe after some harrowing issues come to light about his father. Mature rating because of themes and Jason’s language. There are not graphic depictions of the rape/non con. Despite the way the writing leads and tags— there is no incest.

Momo's Notes: TRIGGER WARNING! This fic deals with Tim dealing with the trauma after a sexual assault. There are no graphic depictions but he is understandably traumatized and both Dick and Jason are trying to help him. Also includes abusive Jack Drake. These are heavy topics so please skip this one if it will harm your mental health. This is a hard one to read but I do enjoy the enemies to caretaker relationship that develops between Jason and Tim as well as the brotherhood between Jason and Dick as they try their best to help their baby brother even as their own traumas weigh on them.

the capillaries in my eyes are bursting by Scarlet_Ribbons

Summary:

Bruce grunts, standing up. “Jenkins said the same. What about what you weren’t told?” And without dissembling, Jason says, “I think they fucked that kid up, B.” [Jack and Janet die. As things get weirder and weirder, it feels like Tim might be at the center of the unfolding conspiracy.]

Momo's Notes: TRIGGER WARNING for abusive Drakes and one potentially triggering scene of binge eating. Robin!Jason and Batman investigate the violent murder of Jack and Janet Drake. Their young son was witness to the whole thing but Jason gets the feeling there was something VERY wrong with this case and this family. Only a heavily traumatized Tim holds the answers.

A Pitter Patter Bitter Batter Brother by a_silly_gander

Summary:

Tim is Robin to pull Bruce back, that is his objective. Not to be a partner—not to be chosen—but to be a warning light. To be a roadblock. So, right now, he has to get between Batman and the Red Hood.

Momo's Notes: This is an alternate take on Red Hood and the Outlaws #25 where Jason appeared to kill Penguin and Bruce freaking lost it and nearly beat his son to death. Fair to say this is bad dad Bruce. In this fic Tim sees Bruce going nuts and rushes to get Bruce off of him and Jason somewhere safe where he can heal. Cue the enemy to caretaker bonding with Tim as the caretaker for a change!

oh brother by Tisane_Tea

Summary:

young Justice was on a mission when they found a scene that should have been nothing more than typical. Case the place, find the bad guy, and turn them in. Unforchantly, Tim recognizes this pattern, he really wishes his older brother had better luck with warehouses because this is not going to be easy to explain.

Momo's Notes: I've read this fic SO MANY times! It hits so many happy spots for me. It has caretaker Tim, good mom Talia gets a mention, Tim and Jason being genuinely close, Young Justice always having each other's backs, and the most amazing drink in the world... TEA! Seriously tho this one has become a cozy read for me so I highly recommend it. Bonus points for Talia deciding all the Wayne kids that have League of Assassins training are HER kids now along with Damian (so Jason, Tim, and Cass)

Into the Deep Dark Night by siren_of_the_ocean

Summary:

Timothy Jackson Drake drowns in Gotham Bay with not a bang, but a whimper. Luckily...or not, Gotham isn't quite ready to give him up yet. “Spirits of children and women drowned, my child. They live in the ponds that glisten like tar. The Rusalka."

Momo's Notes: Tim dies cold and alone but wakes up two days later still breathing at the bottom of the bay. Jason can see something is very wrong with his little brother and tries every way he can to help Tim before it's too late. God but the creature lore for the Rusalka in this is so cool. And Tim's little tiff with Constantine was so petty, I love it. Bonus points for Young Justice being chaotic menaces but ride or die as usual.

wither on the shore by Scarlet_Ribbons

Summary:

“Replacement.” Tim freezes, gaze still locked on Jack’s prone, silent form sprawled out on the floor, and pulls the phone back to look at the number. It’s kind of funny, he thinks hazily. Of course he would accidentally kill his dad and then mistakenly call Jason, of all people.

Momo's Notes: TRIGGER WARNING for discussion of child abuse and human trafficking. Nothing graphic tho. His father's body is on the floor and Tim put him there. Panicked, Tim tries to call his big brother for help only to realize too late he called the wrong one. I love the protective big brothers Dick and Jason in this. Poor Tim is having a REALLY rough time of it but at least this whole thing is mending the burned bridges between him and Jason.

[sleepisoverrated]

My headcanons about Dick Grayson

Dick Grayson is smart.

Like I hate it when they make him a dumb bimbo, he's hot yes he knows it, but he also has been hacking into the Pentagon for fun since he was ten, survived Spyral and several almost apocalypses. I know it's cannon since no Bat is dumb, but some fics, SOME FICS, make him look like he never went to school.

Dick Grayson knows so many languages.

I assume due to the fact that he grew up in a traveling circus he already knew a lot of languages(even if his english was bad when his parents died), but due to being robin and Bruce Wayne's ward he learned basically all major languages on Earth( and some alien) like Romani, German, French, Russian, English, Italian, Greek, Spanish, Irish, Finish, Japanese, Mandarin, Cantonese, Indian, Latin, backwards speech(Zatara), Tamoranian(i think that's how you spell it), Kryptonian, speedster(when speedsters talk super fast) and so on.

Dick Grayson has at least some immunity against Fear toxin(Ft), Joker venom(Jv).

And most of the other poisons due to constant exposure since he was 9, also when he was younger there were no antidotes for Ft and Jv so he learned how to ride them out without a sound. (You can't tell me it hasn't fucked him up somehow, like a 9 y/o being constantly exposed to these things HAS to have some consequences and while he has his immunity I also think he has extreme anxiety( like all the bats a.k.a. Bat paranoia) and constant panic attacks(next headcanon))

Dick Grayson is a master at controlling his body.

Besides the fact that he probably learned acrobatics before he could walk and was a stage performer(always smiled even if the performance got off the rails) I also think he has taught himself complete control of his body due to far too many close calls. He learned to control each muscle individually for combat under high-stress situations(where he most needs that control). This had a side effect of him being able to control his face muscle/expressions and body language. He became the best actor there will ever be, because he can keep a smile on his face even if he is in excruciating pain, he can look completely calm and relaxed even though he is having a panic attack and the opposite is true as well he can look completely terrified even though he is amused. Because of this you need to know him extremely well to tell if he's in distress(the only people so far are Alfred, Damian and Slade(he's obsessed))

Anyway if you want more of the headcanon's just say, Nightwing is one of my favourite characters I can rant about him much longer.

[floatingnebulas]

DamiMaps, Robin!Maps, Batman!Cass AU

Okay so like, consider this: a DamiMaps AU where Damian has fully retired as Robin to focus on preparing to attend medical school, Tim is Red Robin I guess (or also Cardinal. Just, he's not Robin here), and Cass is Batman. This means Maps is the only Robin and, of course, patrols alongside Batman (or "The Bat" or just "Bat". Can't decide what Cass should be called here).

Maps and Damian are in junior year at Gotham Academy now, after Damian transferred back to the school. Maps is patrolling as Robin regularly with Cass at night, then attending classes at school during the day (she still lives on campus). But, and here's the interesting part, she still doesn't know the Bats' identities. (Yes, I'm ignoring that she figured out Batman is Bruce Wayne in the comics). Maps hasn't been working with the Bats for super long yet. She's had a few scattered encounters with them, then was trained as Robin for a few months, and now has started to patrol as Robin, but that's it. Maybe 5, 6ish months since she's actually started really training? So she doesn't know that Damian used to be Robin.

Here's where this becomes important: she does know the former Robin quit because he wanted to focus on studying to be accepted to medical school and so he has time to volunteer. Maps has the former Robin's phone number, and often calls him to help her with more minor injuries that she doesn't want to get lectured by Cass and the other bats for. Maps and the former Robin strike up a friendship, one that shifts into a crush on Maps' part.

HOWEVER, AT THE SAME TIME! Damian Wayne, the son of Bruce Wayne, has transferred back to Gotham Academy and Maps has started hanging out with him again. He ends up on the outskirts of their little detective club, verbally refusing to get involved but still tagging along with them and slowly finding a place in their friend group. Maps manages to convince him to join a sorcerers and spells campaign she's DMing, and she's lost from there.

Maps Mizoguchi has a crush on both Robin, her friend she goes to for advice and wound patches, and Damian Wayne, her friend in her classes that joined her club. This is a HUGE problem (no, it's actually far less of one than she thinks).

More details below, but that's the basic premise!

Okay so, as I mentioned, Cass becomes Batman. This happens after Bruce is injured in a battle and FINALLY decides he's going to lay down the cowl because he's simply getting too old for this (come on. This man is in his like, 50s now. HE SHOULDN'T BE DOING THIS SHIT ANYMORE). Cass is the only one who really wants the cowl and could do well with it, so she takes up the mantle (as she should, because she's the best option for it). Damian works with her for a couple of months, but ends up deciding that he wants to quit Robin so he can focus on preparing for medical school applications, volunteering at Gotham General, and learning from Leslie. So he quits.

Cass is investigating a spree of kidnappings, and ends up realizing that one of Maps' classmates is the next target. Maps ends up getting roped into the case on accident as she always does, and at the end of it all, is rambling a bit. Cass realizes that Maps does her whole detective club thing and actually gets into a lot of shit because of it (did she just mention demons? and vampires? Did she just say she knows Killer Croc???) and decides that this little girl needs a bit of combat instruction to keep herself safe while she's doing all this. So Cass trains her.

Maps is a very fast learner and, without them even realizing, ends up being taught what a Robin would need to learn. The other Bats show up sometimes (Steph shows her how to escape the cops, Tim teaches her about hacking electronic locks, and Dick shows her how to surf trains), and Maps is just assimilated without her or Cass making the connection. Eventually, the former Robin finally shows up for the first time in a domino mask after months of this, and asks when Maps' first patrol is going to be. Oh. She's Robin now. (Cass makes an actual offer over ice cream after the first patrol and it's adorable and Maps is ecstatic).

So Maps becomes Robin. From here, I don't really have a good idea of what the plot would be, but I do know a few things.

Maps' Robin is really good with the occult stuff. One of the first mysteries she and Cass have to solve together should be related to some kind of creature, and Maps is the one who connects the dots. This leads to Constantine or Zatanna being called in to help, and Maps meets them (she will later introduce them to Pom, and Pom becomes an apprentice magic user to them. Olive also gets a mentor in someone who can help with her fire powers).

Maps meets the Teen Titans (a new version, one that Damian used to be on except not the one in the comics because it was bad. A custom TT team for this fic. Perhaps with Lian Harper, Nika, Keli Quintela, and Irey West?), and learns that there's a spot for her if she wants it.

There's love triangle chaos between Maps, Damian, and the former Robin that's actually just a straight line but Damian is the only one who knows (yes, he's also crushing back on her hard. Also yes, she does accidentally confess her crush one one of his identities to the other identity at some point. he subsequently loses his mind).

Kyle and Colton finally get together. Kyle's also in college now (maybe Gotham University? Probably GU).

Maps regularly ends up going to "Old Robin" not just for medical help, but also for advice on just being Robin. sure, she knows a bunch of the other bats used to be robins too, but OR is the one closest to her age. she feels most comfortable talking to him about her anxieties about being robin, especially since he's really good at listening and giving solid advice. it's one of the things that leads to her having a crush on him.

And finally (and here's the main thing I've been struggling to figure out so if anyone reads this and has a good idea lmk), the final villain, the climax, is a villain that foils Maps. I'm not sure what a good foil for her would be, but that is the case. It's a personal villain for her.

But yeah, in general, just DamiMaps identity chaos, Robin!Maps Batman!Cassandra story <3333 I love it and i so desperately want to write it but i need to figure out those issues first ;-;

[guardiandoll]

First Contact

{ This story takes place in the world of my original Guardian Class Combat Dolls post https://www.tumblr.com/guardiandoll/772673862516260864/have-you-ever-heard-of }

“Alright, you lot know the drill.” Roared Captain Witch Augustina Starscraper, her face aglow from the breaching-spell she was currently building between her fingers. “Group one, sweep for nodolls and bring them back to the ship. Group two, begin the retrieval of their cargo. Group three, watch over group two. I’m going to check the ship’s system logs for other possible target. Am I clear?”

“YES MISS CAPTAIN!” Roared back the loyal crew of dolls in front of her. Groups one and three were relatively small, made up of combat dolls of the clockwork variety. The second group was far larger and far more mixed however, composed of wooden, cloth, ceramic, and even a few rodolls-turned-dolls. The anticipation in the air was palpable, nothing made their witch more excited than a raid, and so nothing made them more excited either.

Augustina’s grin widened as her dolls reflected her own exhilaration back at her. So it continued, a bubbling, broiling static to the air as the Captain Witch energized her dolls and they energized her back. It was a self fulfilling cycle of exponential energy, the perfect source of fuel for the spell building ever larger between her hands. Most witch pirates still had to manually hack away at the hulls of the ships they raided with magic or machines or tools. But not her~

“BREACH!” Yelled Augustina as she turned from her dolls and pressed the compressed sphere of magic into the technocrat vessel’s hull. In equal measure both she and the hull were blown back, the only difference being she was caught the soft arms of her First Doll while what remained of that segment of hull ricochetted inside the ship. “How was that for a breach Precious?” she asked, still catching her breath from the casting and subsequent blast.

The doll holding her laughed softly, “You were amazing as always Miss Captain. Truly no other Captain Witch could compare.”

Augustina’s exhilarated grin twisted into a satisfied smirk when Precious replied, “ALRIGHT CREW, TO YOUR DUTIES.” She roared, still in her First Doll’s arms. “DOUBLE TEA FOR THE LOT OF YOU FOR A WEEK IF THERE ARE NO INJURIES!”

Another resounding cheer from her dolls followed as they all began to rush through the breach and into the ship. There was work to be done.

-

Shortly thereafter, Augustina (with Precious in tow) made her way to the bridge of the vessel. The real money was in the cargo, yes, but the flight and communications logs of these vessels often contained information that lead to future targets. This vessel had been no such exception, as the nodolls aboard this ship had recently exchanged a ping with another nodoll vessel headed in the opposite direction. Not something she could capitalize on, but certainly something that could be sold to another pirate witch for a share of the-

“Miss Captain, group one have missed their scheduled rendezvous.” Precious’s voice interrupted Augustina’s thoughts, causing the Captain Witch to turn to her First Doll.

“That’s strange…” with a flick of her wrist, a pocket watch on a chain tumbled from her dress sleeve before yo-yoing back into her hand and snapping open. “So they have.” Unconcerned, she chuckled and dropped the watch back into her sleeve. “Do you think they accidentally sealed themselves into a safe room again?”

“Who’s to-“ Precious’s voice paused as the power suddenly went out and the bridge became pitch-black. “say.”

A darkvision spell was a simple matter for Augustina, but not all of her dolls would be properly equipped for such an environment. What was going on? “We need to move, now. I don’t like this, I’ve never seen the nodolls do-“

Now it was her turn to get cut off, this time by the heavy crash of the bridge’s blast doors sealing. Several similar sounds, albeit much more faint could be heard in the distance. For the first time since starting this raid, there was worry on Augustina’s face.

-

“Breach” said Augustina, her voice firm but her volume fading as she was blown back into Precious’s arms for the 5th time today. The blast doors all across the ship had been opening and shutting unpredictably, clearly trying to block her path. When they refused to open, she’d had no choice but to blow through them. It was much easier than blowing through the ship’s hull… but it still wasn’t easy. The inside of her dress was getting uncomfortably sweaty, and she could feel herself getting weaker as she ran to where she was tracing group one to.

That had been the last one though, the last one before the room they were sealed in anyway. Heaving herself off of Precious, she walked up to the blast door and placed her palm flat on it. “Stand clear for-“ but before she could blast, the door opened itself.

-

Precious didn’t see what Augustina saw, instead only seeing its witch clutch a hand over her mouth and stumble backwards before turning and sprinting back to Precious.

“WE NEED TO MOVE, NOW. STRAIGHT TO THE CARGO HOLD.” The witch’s eyes were wide as she yelled, and Precious froze for a moment, utterly unaccustomed to such a look in its witch’s eyes. “GO” yelled Augustina, starting to run down the hall.

Without hesitation, Precious ran after its witch. What had she seen?

-

“BREACH”

“BREACH”

“BREACH”

Augustina was running herself ragged, slamming her hands into door after door. Each time Precious would catch and push her forward, allowing the pair to proceed at a strong pace. There had been a close call while falling through an elevator shaft, but a well timed double-breach had taken them through the top and out the bottom of the elevator car. Breach after breach, her mana dwindled, but she couldn’t stop, not until she reached

The cargo hold.

Like the rest of the ship it was pitch black, hard to make anything out. She’d long since dropped her darkvision spell, instead relying on Precious’s eyes in the name of conserving mana. “Precious, details please.”

“Group three is… down. Group two, unconfirmed.” Replied Precious, each word tumbling out of its mouth just a little slower than usual as its gaze rolled over the broken bodies of the combat dolls. “There was a fight, one damaged nodoll body in the rafters. Nothing else of note.”

“Fuck!” Wheezed Augustina between labored breaths. She was drenched in sweat, her mana reserves were low, she couldn’t keep this up much longer. “When we find who did this, I’m going to rip their heart out!”

-

Precious winced, the anguish in Augustina’s voice was palpable. But what could it do? The situation was truly dire, and it could not fault its witch for mourning the loss of her dolls. But now wasn’t the time, and so it turned to face Augustina, prepared to advise a full retreat.

-

“I’m going to rip out their heart and-“ Augustina’s threats were cut off as Precious grabbed her by the front of her dress and swung her around behind it. “Precious what the hell are you-“

She could only see its eyes, two glowing blue orbs. Thoughtless, calculating, it observed her back. Whatever it was, Precious had undoubtedly just saved her life. “What are you?!” She screamed at it.

But it did not reply. It just stared at her, with those accursed, unfeeling eyes.

“We’ll be leaving now. You’ve destroyed the crew. We surrender.” Interjected Precious calmly, and while Augustina attempted to voice a rebuttal, the eyes in front of her spoke first.

“You will never threaten this ship, this cargo, or this crew, ever again.” Its words were flat and emotionless, but delivered with absolute certainty.

“Never aga-“ Precious began to agree before the thing dove at it.

Augustina bit the bullet and reupped her darkvision spell just in time to see it lunge. It looked like a nodoll, but was nearly a full foot taller. Its frame was slightly bulkier, sturdier and well armored. Soft bursts of light betrayed the microboosters on its body, providing the terrifying speed at which it moved. Whatever it was, she’d never seen anything like it.

All of these observations happened in a moment, but they were not all that happened in that moment. Precious’s mangled body fell to the ground in the next. Though it had drawn its blade to defend the Captain Witch, the thing had swept aside Precious’s sword with one hand before smashing its mace down on Precious’s head with the all the ease of someone sweeping aside a blade of grass and then smashing an egg.

One moment, that felt like a million, as Augustina watched the first doll she’d ever brought into becoming fall upon the floor.

Destroyed in one blow.

Crushed between the physical, spiritual, and emotional exhaustion, Augustina’s knees wobbled and threatened to cave beneath her.

And then it ended her anguish.

-

The ship was guarded

The cargo was guarded

The crew was guarded

[prettyoddfever]

hi! there’s a poem that brendon supposedly posted in august 2008 on “dylan’s myspace” that a lot of fans call “the summer poem” and i was wondering if you could confirm if he wrote it or not. i know you touched on the fact that there were a lot of fake accounts made around that time, but this specific poem has always felt more genuine than other posts and the writing style fits his tone. i’ve always really liked it, but i was never 100% sure of its validity. thank you!

ok so I had to google this to see what the "summer poem" was and I found this tumblr post, which had this link at the bottom:

and that links to the dilloncornbreadandchicken myspace as the source of that poem, which explains everything.

So towards the end of the Honda Civic Tour (and shortly after Pete Wentz got married), one of Pete's dog Hemingway's supposed extra myspace accounts posted a bulletin that said “it would make me happy if you would add my buddy dillon. here's his myspace" and linked to the dilloncornbreadandchicken account. The fact that Dylan's name was spelled wrong and she was misgendered was a little weird. Also, Hemingway's real account didn't post anything about this. (Side note: Yes, Panic's myspace got hacked around the end of the Honda Civic Tour, so even the legit myspace accounts could occasionally do something unusual. Also can I please just complain that the hackers could have posted some highly entertaining stuff "from Adam" on Panic's myspace if they'd had any imagination. Like we all know what's going on, so why not just do something absurd for a laugh).

But the dilloncornbreadandchicken account seemed questionable on its own anyways. Keep in mind that a lot of fans were obsessed with the idea that Brendon & Shane were dating... like a lot of the Ryden enthusiasm got channeled there in 2008 because at least it still implied that Brendon was into guys.

Some random things that seemed odd to me:

Several of the pictures on that myspace were absolutely not Dylan. Similar looking dog, but definitely not her.

One of the songs that played on Dillon’s profile was “Ur So Gay” by Katy Perry.

The account said things like "yea i have 2 daddys... out of the ordinary? daddy brendon and shane both take excellent care of me.”

Many girls had convos with the “Shane and Brendon” who ran that myspace. That account was also very active with replying & commenting on other's profiles. June was still a busy month for the real Brendon, who was finishing the Honda Civic Tour (and doing a lot of publicity/media stuff) and then getting ready for Europe.

In July (while the band was still in Europe), fans asked Shane about Brendon's comment to Kerrang about how the last time he cried was when he heard that Dylan ran away for a few days. Shane explained that Dylan was living with his parents while Panic was on tour, and that she'd run away on a nearby golf course to chase rabbits for a few days. Shane also apparently seemed confused when a fan at the Astoria show told him she was friends with Dylan on myspace.

There were a ton of fake myspace & facebook accounts for everyone in PATD over the years. Some of them even managed to spell Brendon's name right. But Brendon just would not be talking to fans on myspace like that (or even be on myspace at that point period). The band had stopped doing even basic journal updates by 2008, but even in 2006 Brendon & Ryan had put a lot of distance between themselves and fans, and we heard from them less & less. The guys didn't even run their band's social media in the Fever era. This whole episode reminded me of how in late 2006 many middle school girls swore they'd been talking to Ryan on AIM and he'd shared secret lyrics with them, and I was like omg common sense please.

The person who wrote that "summer poem" sounds like a school schedule still factored into their awareness, and they're possibly trying to make a subtle connection to Brendon's old part_time_lovah livejournal account. I stopped paying attention to the dilloncornbreadandchicken myspace after seeing so many big fans similarly conclude that it was fake, so I don't remember much about the poem. I'll only say that it should be regarded with some suspicion... even just posting a poem anywhere online like that would have been very out of character for Brendon. (For context, that poem was posted while Brendon was busy being a tired, sick, sweaty mess on tour in Asia and the band was heading to Australia next).

[keithbutgay]

the silly guys (and yes, they're gay :P)

(much info under cut)

okay so main worldbuilding--- i havent actually really thought this through but the idea is that basically its this really unoriginal kinda dystopian-ish world where there was this government created robotic spore, something that would go into your bloodstream through open wounds. the spore would then corrupt your body, and there was no way to stop it.

the idea was to keep it among the higher-ups of the country, using it as a sort of punishment for criminals but after all these victims inevitably re-entered society, questions started getting asked. eventually someone anonymous hacked into the blueprints, the information was released and the spore began spreading, infecting hundreds and hundreds of people.

(and yes, i realised after creating all this that its basically just the plot of wilder girls. do i care enough to change it? not really)

ghost (he/she/they)

-actually the silliest of guys

-gay disaster

-trans guy, would only like to be referred to with masc terminology despite their pronouns

-eye and entire arm had to be amputated after a car accident

-eye was filled with an amber-like substance that hardened over time as a result--- while it was still soft a bug flew inside and became trapped

-shoulder blades and arm became much more veiny and translucent, which is why he always covers his arm

-has a lot of scars on his arm, they show up more on the translucent skin

-constantly changing hair color. because she can

-adhd be upon ye

-asexuality be upon ye

-demiromanticism be upon ye

-is really energetic most of the time, gesticulates a lot while talking, but will sometimes forget about their arm and be confused about why its not moving

-experiences phantom pains in their missing arm, and also experiences chronic pain in their wrist and neck because they got really fucked up in the accident

-really normal about the ocean /lie

-struggles with obsessive-compulsive disorder and severe bipolar 1 disorder, and experiences hallucinations and other symptoms of psychosis because of that

-dont really like people standing on their blind side, which is partially because of their paranoia and partially because they're self-conscious about their arm (and because holding hands)

alright moving on cause i said a fuck ton about them so now its time for smoke

i dont have that much for them sadly

i designed him second which means that he doesnt have that information on him but its okay because i love him

smoke (they/he)

-they're SUCH a guy. like. the most guy. in an agender way

-autism be upon ye

-also a disaster gay

-got into a lot of fights because of where he was brought up and the people they interacted with. this ended in their face getting cut up a bit at a really unfortunate time, and they were infected

-he cant actually fully zip or unzip his face--- instead they can feel their skin being stretched apart constantly

-its because of this that he doesnt talk or smile often because it often hurts to move his face. he will sometimes use asl, but doesnt know that much beyond finger-spelling and they prefer to just listen to other people

-if they do talk, its really quietly and slowly. they really only talk to ghost because they know he wont judge

-anxious boi

-definitely has bpd but no he will not be unpacking that today, thanks, that is getting shoved deep down along with his probable autism, depression, and panic disorder

-also getting shoved down along with his sexuality, he does not have the time or energy to think about that right now

-never really had many friends ever, and its historically been really hard for them to really get along and get close with others so they dont approach people very often

-really normal about space /lie

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

Good day! ✨

I HUMBLY ASK FOR THE LETTER …

B‼️

(For the Alphabet Soup thingamajig)(ye)

Okay, we're breaking out the background characters here! Meet Berry, fron A Tale for A Mouse and For Want Of A Flower :)) It kills me that I don't actually have more writing of her, given how much time she spent in my head when I was younger, but unfortunately a lot of her existence was wiped out due to me changing some lore.

Here are 2 of my favourite picrews of her!

As a bonus, let me explain what's going on with her behind the scenes (warning for spoilers, obviously):

Once upon a time, there was a group of well-meaning cultists of the Goddess of Dreams who found a ritual that they believed would summon their goddess. It only required a single human sacrifice, who just so happened to be Berry, age 13. Thing was, the ritual wasn't for summoning. It was the very same sort that the Godhuntress would use 200 years later, to take a God's magic, kill them, and grant divine powers to their 'sacrifice'.

So. Those idiots killed their goddess and gave her immense strength, which she then instinctively used to teleport herself as far away from that place as possible. That, of course, meant directly on top of some poor spirit's shed half the world away from Ceredell.

A well meaning Hans-el finds her dead, but with a ghost stuck in her shell, and the events of A Tale For A Mouse occur. So for a good amount of time, she becomes his right hand woman, and the sense behind his hack-slash-eat philosophy to enemies. Nobody likes that a mere ghost is so highly, but nobody's particularly willing to try to kick her out, not when their clan leader clings to her like a koala and their people are thriving.

Somewhere along the way, she pieces together what happened to her, and just what powers she has, and begins quietly doing the Goddess of Dreams' job while helping out the Ko clan. She never tells anyone, because, well, why would they need to know? Also, the spirits hate the gods, and not even Hans could stop an angry mob who believes they've both gone apostate.

And when the Godhuntress arrives and kills the entire Ko clan in For Want of A Flower, she recognises the same magic that gave her power in the first place and sacrifices herself for her friend. Thing is, she's protected from that spell, it having been used on her once already. So a tiny bit of her soul still lingers out in the world, hanging around her dear Hans.

Now, if this was a happy story, she would be protecting him. Unfortunately, it isn't, and so Hans-el is the very first ghost-adjacent creature to get haunted by a ghost of his own. Every night, the shade of Berry replays the massacre of his people for him.

Happy dreams, and thanks for the ask!

[gorgugplushie]

BAD KIDS GAMING HCS

Nobody asked but i cant stop thinking abt it so

Fabian - canonically doesn't know what mobile games are, much less actual videogames. He sort of sees them as pointless (why do quests and adventures in a videogame when he could just do them in real life?) Of course the bad kids pull him into their gaming sessions, though he spends most of them asking what the controls are again and raising an eyebrow at their shenanigans. Ragh sits him down and makes him play some sport based video games which he does enjoy, he can get really into it if you give him time (he yells so so loud) he also gets into ddr style games bc he likes beating the other bdkds at them. Videogames are a good excuse to hang but he'd rather go out and play football irl.

Kristen - coming from a heavily sheltered and what i assume monitored family, kristen probablyyy isnt all that into videogames. At most i think she'd have some mobile games like idk candy crush on her phone, like fabian she'd get confused and spend her in game time running around and just watching the others play, she goes along w the others shenanigans v easily tho and loves doing silly bits while playing.

Riz - Riz is the type to play window games on their families shared computer for hours on end. Stuff like sudoku, pinballs, or solitaire. He'd love those games like the nancy drew mystery ones, or those games where you find items like I Spy. The only downside is he gets unhealthily fixated and will spend 3 days getting to lvl 100+ on Tetris if you let him, obsessed w 100% games and making funny number go up. Surprisingly good at rhythm games.

Adaine - into open world games, like fallout or outerwilds. Will spend days writing and churning out backstory and lore for her in game character. Veryyy picky and wants every decision to be true to their newest ocs backstory, will spend a solid hour on the character creation screen. She also loves more violent shooting games, although playing online with strangers gives her anxiety and she cannn get gamer rage, she'll get fixated on getting stuff like headshots and Winning and Being a good teammate that she'll start shaking and have to step away from playing for a bit. Single player fighting games w blood where she can turn her brain off and just fight are more cathartic for her. I feel like she ends up doing insane shit in them like saw and hack off limbs and go full dark story mode route and then regret it so so much and lie awake at night not sleeping bc of it and delete the save file. Its her dark secret shell take to the grave.

Fig - plays a large range of games, mainly more colorful and silly goofy ones she can play with the badkids. Shes sort of a little nuisance in games tho, she will troll and grief a lil bc she finds it funny. In singleplayer games she does love being a huge stinker and do silly stuff like pickpocket and get caught or accidentally set a bomb off in the middle of a cutscene or glitch her character to a-pose, she does a bunch of shit and laughs and doesn't take it seriously at all. Like adaine she also gets gamer rage. she gets them both banded from online for a month bc they team up to cast a spell on someone thru the screen. LOVESS shit like guitar hero and skater games sooo much, also into those wwe type games. Cant stomach horror at all but will make the rest of the kids sit down and play horror games w her so they can laugh and scream together.

Gorgug - he tends to like more older games, say in the style of star fox/loz and stuff. His parents gave him and older gaming system when he was younger n he still has it around and collects games for it, its seeing a lot more use than it originally did bc now he has friends to play with. The type of guy to still carry their ds around. I feel like hed also modify and rom hack stuff for his friends. He likes going to the arcade in person and playing there than sitting in front of a computer.

Ayda - yes im including her shes a gamer girl in my heart. I feel like she loves life sims/complex puzzle games, stuff like slime rancher, portal, animal crossing. She has 1000+ hours into a single sims save file. She spends hours and hours building and working on the most elaborate farming system for whatever new sim shes getting invested in. She especially loves organizing in games, she gets a bit antsy playing more survival based games with the bad kids because they leave their systems so unorganized (shes def the type to redo the entire base from top to bottom in dont starve while the rest die off screen). neat and orderly decoration is soo fun for her and the bad kids try not to step on her turf too much. refuses to play multiplayer if it's with anyone else but the badkids, but if anyone would start a gaming channel its her. will do obscenely gay cutesy stuff w fig n game. They build their own little base and junk and pretend to hosts weddings n stuff. Shes also very into speed running and breaking games with glitches to figure out how they work.

[greenflamethegf]

What is your favorite TTRPG and why?

After seeing your answer, I supposed I should write a one to match. I have played so many different ones, I simply no cannot being myself to name just one. This to say nothing on system I have made or am working on.

Also, I will reference your post quite a bit, so let me just link it [here]

My first love is pathfinder 1e, but from even from there two really cool variants

Sphere Finder

a PF 2e before PF 2e. This takes PF and add a some system of sphere and talents, from supplants published by Drop Dead Studios. Effectively getting to choose marshal or magic powers to mix and match with feats and class abilities. A lot of death while being simpler then base PF 1e. Especially as caster no long had a list of 20+ spells, rather a few abilities and ways to modify. Similarly, for marshals, they even got cool thing like inspiring shouts or cutting a whole in space to teleport. So there wasn't much of gap between caster or marshals

Perhaps still speak TTRPG expirance, but It is quite taxing on the GM, and it largely still has the issues you mentioned in your post. Still, I would REALLY like to play it again. Heck, I would probably run it if I could, that instead of my day job. Anyway, largely in the same vain is

3.P

Perhaps a term you have heard being around in time of D&D 3.5, as was used to describe any amalgamation of PF 1e and D&D 3.5e. My favourite way to play it was to use PF a base and add more reasonable 3.X (D&D 3.0~3.5) rule books, as well as from 3pp (third party published) suppleness for both. It's difficulty, a crown king of complexity, but it did and still dose made my brain go 'woooo'. I still have oh so many indexes and lists for it. I get immense satisfaction with crazy fancy builds that are still rules legal.

however, they aren't I play and run these days... on that honour goes to

Uncommon Words

A cool hack of Dudgeon World that is simpler than 5e while providing more options, interesting characters. In many ways it's what people you don't play TTRPGs thing 5e is. And since this a post about enable TTRPGS, this the last mention of 5e.

DW and pbta (pawed by apocalypse) games in general have this cool three outcomes system of: Yes and..., Yes but... and No and.... This keeps the action going, often one action crates opportunity or danger that will be to relent for then ext one. Specially the way I run combat, it's just a consent stream of "This tread approaches, what do you do?", "This allay is gander, what do you do?", "This enemy is exposed, what do you do?".

Similarly, rules little means you can improve a lot of stuff. You can make a monster on fly with a simple questioner, and by deciding they do any actions appropriate for their kind.

Still, unlike other rules lite system (for example 2d10), it does offer some rule. Some character builds and dice mechanics. This is just enough to have a solid base for a character.

It's by one means perfect. The HP and damage rolls are a bit of a jarring departure from typical PBTA fun. Singularly, I it makes you count individual coins, then it comes to wealth, and I must it's a rather annoying bit of bookkeeping. Really, in D&D, I would never have played arc hares because those systems made you track how many arrows you use. Luckily, DW has that ones solved in quite an elegant way

Honourable mentions

So that dose were the contenders for my favourite. However, I should at lest named drop a some other of very cool systems I played, Mutants and Master Minds 3e, Thirsty Sword Lesbians, Savages Worlds, Chronicles of Darkness, 2d10, Magical Burst and Blades in the dark

[dark-night-star-light]

Spirit Animals: The Wildcat's Claw (Reread pt. 15)

DISCLAIMER: WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE SERIES EXCEPT THE BOOK OF SHANE.

Masterpost

Chapter 1

“There was bloodshed in every village” (2). So, same as the Second Devourer War, then?

“There was no village, no militia, and no army that could prevail against a legion of Greencloaks when they partnered with their spirit animals” (2). Okay, I sort of get the point against having a group be too powerful. But didn’t these people notice the spiral that was on the Greencloaks’ brows and understand what happened? Weren’t they told it wasn’t the fault of the Greencloaks?

“She released Myriam from passive state” (2). I am 99% sure that Myriam was spelled Miriam the last time. 

“ . . . they exuded a sense of accomplishment” (3). What does that even mean?

“It was the first food she’d seen in two days” (4). Why are they starving her? Don’t they want her alive?

“‘Go on, take a bite. Eat it all. Gorge yourself.’ . . . Lenori instead curled her hands into her lap” (4). Why didn’t she eat it? It’s not like the Oathbound were holding it away from her.

“Then the woman struck Lenori again, even harder” (5). Are they allowed to abuse prisoners before a trial has even taken place? How is that legal?

“Then slowly, she ground the food between her fingers, disintegrating it. Her faith may be tested, but she would not falter” (7). How is it a betrayal if you eat a small piece of cheese? Does she want to be constantly hungry?

Chapter 2

“It was an invisible burden he feared he would carry for the rest of his life” (8). Oh, thank goodness the narrative didn’t show him getting over the Wyrm thing immediately.

“‘I could show you guys a real Euran meal,’ he continued. ‘Shepherd's pie and all’” (9). This kind of parallels Hunted, when he went to Trunswick looking for his family.

“Hopefully he wouldn’t start shedding or hacking up hairballs” (10). That would be hilarious.

“Meilin leaned over and thumped Rollan’s ear” (11). I should start collecting Rollan-and-Meilin-act-like-a-married-couple moments. Although I don’t really approve of the physical abuse.

“‘The rumors were that the wildcat was as large as Tellun.’ ‘No, even larger’” (12). I think it’s stupid that they’re undermining the greatness of the Great Beasts. Like, yes, it’s probably just a legend, but still.

“Conor had remembered seeing the replica of this sword, but only once, when he was working as a servant to Worthy” (12). I think it would’ve been cool if they’d shown Conor walking past the replica during the very first chapter of Wild Born.

“Shane, the former leader of the Redcloaks, had died while fighting against the Wyrm. Abeke didn’t speak of him much, but she’d cared greatly for him, even if those feelings were complicated” (13). I think we should hear more of Abeke’s inner monologues about Shane. She surely has some thoughts on him.

“‘I just want the Redcloaks’ help temporarily. Erdas doesn’t need their protection full time. That’s why there are Greencloaks’” (15). He sort of kind of has a point? Kind of?

“Just running his hands through Briggan’s luxurious gray-white fur calmed him” (15). This author appears to favor a lot of descriptive writing.

“Worthy put on a good show, but Conor knew that the whispers and judging looks bothered him” (16). He can’t be a hero if everyone thinks he’s a monster.

“‘I . . . well . . . I kind of don’t know where the records are that will lead us to the Wildcat’s Claw.’ . . . ‘You see, there was a fire at the manor. It was the only way to protect Dawson.’ Worthy shook his head. ‘It’s hard to explain. I was having a really bad day’” (17). He keeps saying that. “Worthy, why did you do [thing]?” “Oh, I was having a bad day.” Also, Devin didn’t even start that fire??? The people did?

“‘The records are there somewhere. I’m sure’” (18). Okay, so Worthy’s logic is that he thinks the library is still intact? Wow, okay. That’s just such a stupid mistake to make. He’s leading them on, and while they have little time left, too. That’s just. Ridiculous.

Chapter 3

“‘I think we can spare a few minutes if you want to see her’” (20). I wonder if Anka truly cares for Meilin on some level.

“‘That is, unless Rollan shares his cloak with us.’ Rollan seemed to blush as he pulled the thick brown cloak tightly around him” (21). Why is he blushing? Also, this is the perfect cue for someone to say “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind sharing with Meilin.”

“‘And we were the heroes of the Second Devourer War. Every gate was already open to us’” (22). Wow, okay. Huh. There really weren’t security measures?

“She cast her eyes at Conor up ahead. ‘I know,’ . . . ‘I’m not accusing him’” (23). Abeke getting defensive about Conor, my beloved. 

“‘It’s important work. Maybe even more important than always looking for a fight’” (24). Meilin character development flexing go brrrrr.

“‘So what will you do next, once this is over?’ . . . ‘Retire your green cloak?’” (24). Convinced that Anka cares about Meilin and is trying to persuade her to join her side. Subtly.

“Both had died in silence, like true Zhongese warriors” (25). Today on I analyze random details too much: Meilin still has some respect for the Emperor. But Song confirmed that the Emperor liked to emulate true warriors even though he wasn’t one (the braid). We also know that the hyena ripped out the Emperor’s throat, so he logically wasn’t physically capable of making noise. So, this could be symbolism for how everyone sees the Emperor as this strong, warriorlike man, even though he’s a fake, I think. 

“Meilin hoped that her face didn’t reveal how shocked she was. She hadn’t told Anka who her father was” (26). You are literally famous. People will find out anyway.

“‘I took up the cloak a few months afterward’” (26). So Anka’s claim also states that she’s new to the Greencloaks. Did she actually join the Greencloaks? Or is she lying?

“‘You’re a hero in Zhong, just like General Teng’” (26). Yeah, exactly.

Chapter 4

“‘Worthy, heroes aren’t supposed to boast,’ Meilin said” (27). Worthy’s pretty much in it for the boasting.

“Worthy only took one bite before spitting out the tough, lean meat . . . which had just meant that there was more for Rollan to eat” (28). I imagined Conor looking all wounded at this, since he caught the snake.

“Her hair was a black as Meilin’s bangs . . . ” (29). Hold on, Meilin has bangs???

“Anka had offered to switch places with him, but he politely declined, turning bright red in the process” (30). Hmmmmm. Also, politely??? Out of character much?

“ . . . he often found himself thinking about things that he’d rather not. His mother. The Wyrm. Shane. Tarik” (31). Shane? Rollan thinks about Shane? This I need to hear . . . 

“It was her hand, sliding into his” (32). I forgot how ship-heavy this arc is.

“A warm loaf of bread would be nice, he thought to himself. He was sure that Essix would enjoy it as well” (32). Would she? She’s a carnivore . . . 

“‘But I don’t know if I’ll ever really trust a Redcloak’” (33). Rollan trust issues arc rolling around again? Also, thank god they’re talking about this. This is the conversation I’m here for.

“‘For all we know, they might be planning to stab us in the back and steal the gifts as soon as we collect them all’” (33). I mentioned in my Heart of the Land review that they never suspect the Redcloaks of setting up the attack on the Citadel. Guess I spoke too soon.

“‘ . . . that still doesn’t erase all the bad things he did when he was plain old Devin Trunswick. Don’t forget, he and I didn’t exactly hit it off the first time we met’” (34). This entire book sort of parallels Hunted, kind of like how The Return parallels Rise and Fall.

“ . . . as long as he got to hold Meilin’s hand for the rest of the walk. That would have made the extra distance worthwhile” (35). Ship fodder galore. They don’t hold back.

“If Rollan could find them again, he’d buy something for the kids when he reached the village” (37). Aw.

“Rollan wasn’t sure, but it looked like the woman had drawn blood” (37). Bruh.

“Rollan shook his fist at the animal. He still didn’t like horses. The feeling was seemingly mutual” (38). That horse literally laid eyes on him for two seconds.

“‘You’re such a softie,’ she said. ‘It’s one of my favorite things about you’” (39). Okay, I don’t know whether this is an unpopular opinion or not, but I don’t like how Rollan’s generosity was used as fodder for shipping culture. 

“Abeke had been collecting rocks to shape into arrowheads during their trek through Eura . . . ” (40). Competent! Abeke!

“Rollan realized that she might have been too good with the weapon” (42). Yeah, lol.

“She followed that up with three backflips. Rollan couldn’t believe it. She was actually dancing” (43). HA.

“‘Or do you not remember the quarterstaff that you swindled from that pirate on the boat?’ ‘I didn’t swindle him’” (44). Rollan berating Meilin for thievery and the sort is so ironic. And why were there pirates???

“‘I was just thinking - that was a really nice sword’” (47). It was indeed.

Chapter 5

“Abeke often found herself looking at Uraza’s hind right leg when she thought the animal was asleep” (49). Imagine Uraza wasn’t asleep and was straight up like, I know what you’re doing.

“‘You move like Uraza, you know. Delicately. Softly. All catlike.’ ‘So do you’” (50). No, he doesn’t??? He makes noise. That was canon. It was mentioned???

“Then she playfully tackled Abeke, nipping at her ears and fingers” (52). I like that this book seems way more of a character and relationship-building book than the other one.

“He performed a triple somersault before landing beside Abeke. She rolled her eyes, but still clapped for him” (53). The guy needs to be coddled. 

“‘Did Shane really talk about me?’” (53). Of course he did.

“‘Shane would let us joke around about the Greencloaks, even letting us say some not-so-nice things about Conor and Rollan. Especially Rollan. But you were always off-limits’” (54). But most of the Redcloaks wouldn’t have fought Conor or Rollan personally or even known much about them, right? How would they have anything to insult them over? Also, what about Meilin?

“There was so little that she knew about Shane once he’d become the leader of the Redcloaks” (54). Yeah, I wish The Book of Shane had gone more into his time as leader of the Redcloaks.

“But as Abeke spoke, she realized she didn’t know if Uraza had forgiven her for shooting her with an arrow” (55). I think Uraza probably feels guilty over this. Like Conor.

Worthy apologizing to Elda is peak redemption arc behavior.

“‘I’m excited about going home’” (57). I wonder if Worthy considered telling Abeke about the fire at this moment.

“He took a deep breath. ‘I don’t exactly know-’” (58). Oop, called it.

Chapter 6

“She closed her eyes and counted as others fired all around them” (61). How is she counting with her eyes closed? Maybe she’s analyzing the direction the arrows came from?

“Conor stopped talking, shifting his body so he was turned away from the others” (62). Wow, Conor’s so bad at lying, his solution is to just. Stop talking.

“They were funneling them a certain way. . . . ” (65). There we go. She got it.

“‘The mighty Briggan, caught in a net. Guess you aren’t such a Great Beast after all’” (67). I feel like the disrespect the Great Beasts get in this arc is just so weird. Briggan has been a legend for centuries. Sacred, especially to Eurans. How could that all have been undone over the Wyrm thing? It’s ridiculous and makes no sense. The trapper should have at least been a little in awe.

“‘But the Greencloaks were under the power of something called the Wyrm-’ ‘Just more Greencloak lies’” (69). I don’t get why the trappers didn’t somehow see the spiral. And some Eurans would’ve been infected, too. That means that they should’ve more intimately understood what happened, right?

“It was a signal. Meilin wasn’t sure, but she thought it meant that Rollan wanted her to play along” (71). Have they never been in such a situation before?

Can’t believe Rollan and Meilin form a plan that involves flirting in front of the trackers.

“It was the falchion, the very sword that Meilin had been drooling over at the trading post” (73). At least she won’t have to pay for it now.

“Meilin knew Jhi could hold her own against the men, but she still worried for her partner” (74). Jhi can hold her own against three men with sharp, pointy things?

“But Jhi and Essix didn’t have time to waste on those men . . . Uraza and Briggan joined the fray . . . ” (75). The Four Fallen fight together again. Iconic. 

Meilin straight up broke a cage with Jhi’s strength???

“Feeling Jhi’s power coursing through her body once again, she leaped into the air and landed a roundhouse kick squarely on one of the trapper’s jaws. Then she spun around, kicking two more to the ground” (77). Yeah, gettem.

“‘What were you saying about this sword?’ she asked, a large smile on her face” (78). This made me smile. Absolutely slaying.

Chapter 7

“‘Also, I just wanted to say, I'm sorry for your loss,’ he added quietly. ‘How many people survived?’” (81). Conor being soft . . . I’m weak. Also, if the trappers truly believe the Greencloaks were responsible for the plundering, then they would see this as a manipulation tactic, right?

“‘I hated disappointing anyone - even Worthy, when I was his servant . . . ’” (82). It doesn’t really seem that way. Like in Wild Born, the only thing that really appears to stop Conor from expressing his annoyance toward Devin was the fact that Devin was a noble.

“The fence he mended for the Widow Tomball for a few coins - which he promptly returned to her after feeling guilty for taking her money” (82). Didn’t he . . . need that money as well? It’s not like he was the epitome of wealth, either.

“Worthy pressed his hands together and fell to his knees” (83). Dramatic Worthy is the best kind of Worthy.

“He really was too nice sometimes” (83). Conor acknowledging his own being too kind???

“‘Everything’s just fine. Nothing strange happened. Nothing burned down or anything like that’” (84). Wow, Worthy might be an even worse liar than Conor. 

“Worthy jumped in the air, waving his fists. ‘Don’t worry guys. Your can depend on me!’” (84). This is almost cartoonish.

“‘Devin!’” (87). Dawson called him Devin?

“ . . . she sat down and began to eat Dawson’s spruce plant” (87). LOL.

“‘Kunaya!’ Abeke said. The cat . . . jumped into Abeke’s outstretched arms” (88). We finally got our iconic Abeke-Kunaya reunion after eleven books.

“‘Devin burned it down the last time he was here.’ . . . ‘ . . . I was having a bad day’” (88). Devin whenever someone asks him about that short story’s events: I was having a bad day, okay???

Also Devin did not burn the castle down??? That was the townspeople??? Karmo literally had to tell him that the manor was on fire.

“‘To be fair, I really did hate Greencloaks at the time. You guys were just so . . . smug. It wasn't fair” (90). Look who’s talking.

“ . . . the citizens chose me as the new Earl of Trunswick” (90). He’s like twelve, though??? There’s seriously nobody else who could’ve done it?

“Dawson was young, but of all the Trunswicks, he was the right person to lead the town” (91). Yes, of all the Trunswicks. Why does it have to be a Trunswick? The best candidate is literally twelve.

“‘With the way father disgraced our family and fled the town, why would they pick any Trunswick to serve as earl? I mean, I’m sure you’ll do the best you can, but you don’t know the first thing about running a city. You’re just a kid’” (91). Worthy hit the nail on the head (and literally in the next paragraph, too . . . ).

“‘You’re a kid, too. You all are. But that doesn’t stop you from doing your duty, does it?’ He relaxed a little as Rumfuss hoofed over to him. ‘And to be honest, I think it has more to do with Rumfuss than my amazing leadership skills. His name carries way more weight than ours right now’” (91). A kid should not be leading the town when there are better-equipped adult candidates around. Worthy became a Redcloak because it was his only choice. The four are on this mission because they were the only ones who escaped. There were no better options for them. There is for Dawson, regardless of his spirit animal. The town could at least have a fill-in until he’s old enough.

“Beside Dawson, the Great Boar snuffled proudly” (91). I feel like this is the ending of Rumfuss’s character arc, in a way. We’re told over the course of the series in so many ways that Rumfuss is often seen as the “least” of the Great Beasts, between Devin’s mockery in Tales of the Fallen Beasts and the Great Beast conference in Tales of the Great Beasts. But now, he finally has the respect he deserves.

“‘Do the townspeople know that I’m a Redcloak?’ There was an air of hope in his voice. ‘Do they know what I did to help save the world?’” (92). Why exactly does Devin want to be a hero so bad? Like, he had a shit ton of wealth and privilege anyway. Why does he feel the need to prove himself? Maybe it’s because the Earl was abusive or something?

“‘I’m not lying!’ Worthy yelled. ‘I really was trying to save a woman! She was in the stocks in the square’” (93). It’s like the boy who cried wolf. I bet Conor would know that story, lol.

“‘Conor, can you ever forgive me for deceiving you like that?’” (94). Dawson didn’t deceive Conor, though? He just . . . delivered a letter? And he was literally ten years old?

Chapter 8

“‘The woman in charge was offering a hefty reward,’ Dawson continued. ‘Enough to feed some families for half a year, if not longer’” (98). How much do we want to bet that Cordelia would not keep that promise.

“‘I mean, Greencloaks and Redcloaks’” (98). Still not over the fact that the Redcloaks literally copied the Greencloaks.

“Everyone knew he’d rather travel with Meilin” (99). Oof. Oooooooof.

“‘Yeah, and if he joins anything, it’ll be the Redcloaks!’ Worthy said” (100). I don’t know why, but Worthy is so comically cartoonish in this book. Also, this implies you can be a Redcloak even if you weren’t a former Bile-bonded Conqueror.

“She leaned over the edge, then curtsied for Abeke” (101). Iconic.

“‘They’d be fools to follow us up here.’ . . . ‘Um, now who exactly are the fools again?’ . . . ‘If it was a bad idea for us, then it’s a horrible idea for them’” (103). Obsessed with this interaction. 

“‘Of course, it was always frowned upon if a woman ever wanted to-’” (103). I like how this series doesn’t overdo it with the feminism. It’s just “oh, this is the way things are” and then they use the female characters to defy those stereotypes. It’s done so well.

“Abeke gasped. ‘Meilin!’ Meilin shrugged. ‘What? I didn’t say kill them. Just shoot them in the shoulder or leg or something so they’ll stop chasing us’” (105). I love how casually morally gray the characters are. Even Conor.

“‘Do you yield?’ Meilin asked. ‘Never,’ one of the men said. Then he passed out” (106). LMFAO.

“The other man had regained consciousness” (106). How??? That would mean he passed out for, like, ten seconds.

“‘Their leader, Cordelia the Kind, said she’d destroy the town if she discovered you were here’” (107). So she said she’d destroy it if they were there, but then offered a reward for their capture, as well?

Chapter 9

“ . . . Rollan knew he couldn’t continue traveling with the cloak and hiding it from his friends” (109). Wait, it was a secret??? What??? But they literally saw him fall off the cliff and saw the cloak save him in Heart of the Land, right? Or was it too dark?

“‘The wildcat’s name is Wilco’” (110). Hey, how come the gila monster didn’t get a name?

“‘They lived a long time ago, back before they were even Greencloaks’” (111). Which makes sense timeline-wise, gotta love that. (The four bond tokens and their owners live and eventually give their tokens to their lands → First Devourer War and creation of Greencloaks → The Greencloaks are given the bond tokens as thanks for ending the First Devourer War.)

It makes me wonder why Amaya is called the New Lands, then, because it’s clearly been around for a long time. 

It has to mean something that Gransfen’s story started because of the Crimson Raiders, who coincidentally share a color with the Redcloaks.

“‘If these gifts are so powerful, why didn’t the Greencloaks keep them and use them to defend Erdas? . . . ’” (113). Yeah. Exactly.

“‘It’s enchanted. Full of old magic. No one enters that place anymore, not even hunters’” (113). Magic??? Magic exists in this world??? Enchantments??? It’s probably just a legend, Worthy.

“‘But then my men found the strangest item in his bedroom, hidden underneath the floorboards’” (115). Why does the militia have a search warrant for the Earl of Trunswick’s house??? Like, he wasn’t even suspicious before then???

“Rollan didn’t miss a beat. ‘Dawson, you’re a Greencloak! You should have told us-’” (115). Exactly what was Rollan trying to achieve here? The militia already know they are Greencloaks. Was he trying to shift the blame onto Dawson and hope he could talk his way out of it??? It seems weird. 

“‘Are these the kids you saw running through the streets?’ ‘Yes, Captain,’ the oldest one said. ‘The two girls. The boy wasn’t with them’” (115). They betrayed them??? (Yes, betray is a strong word, but Meilin and Abeke helped them, and they returned the favor by turning them in.)

“‘Their leader, Cordelia the Kind, threatened to ransack only half the town if we turned you over upon their return’” (116). Bruh.

“‘I’m called Worthy,’ he said. He reached behind his head and unfastened his mask. ‘But before, I was known by another name’” (118). The way this almost perfectly parallels Shane’s reveal is so. I love it. Shane said “I’m called King”, then removed his mask, then revealed that he used to go by another name. Maybe Shane taught the Redcloaks how to dramatically reveal themselves.

“‘We marched to the castle after that and burned it down . . . ’” (118). Yeah, see. Devin didn’t burn it down.

“‘I’m sorry for bringing the cloak with me. I just couldn’t part with it yet’” (119). 

“Meilin raised an eyebrow. ‘About everything?’ Rollan could feel the heat rising to his neck” (119). Why’s he blushing??? What’s there to blush about?

Chapter 10

“”But Meilin reminded herself that the people of Trunswick had much to lose as well if the Greencloaks weren’t successful” (121). True . . . ish.

The iconic Rollan-horse rivalry strikes again.

“ . . . Meilin noticed that the flags flying above the city walls displayed the image of Rumfuss the Boar” (121). Not Briggan?

“”’But this isn’t really my home anymore” (122). Devin Trunswick changing his name to Worthy symbolism for him abandoning Trunswick?

“‘Dawson was right - the old Devin Trunswick was a real bully . . . ’” (122). I like that they don’t make his bad deeds seem lesser now that he’s good.

“Meilin blocked each strike, then leaped onto a tree branch, out of reach of Anka’s staff” (124). She just . . . jumped onto a tree???

“Smirking, she began to run in a circle, dragging her boots heels into the dry ground. She was creating a small dust storm” (125). This is almost the exact same tactic she uses when she fights Anka again later.

“‘I’m glad fate brought us together, Meilin. You’re almost like the sister I never had’” (125). I wonder if she said those exact words to Song.

“‘At least, that’s what my tutors used to tell me when I misbehaved’” (127). That reminds me, what happened to the iconic Rollan-Meilin tutor inside joke?

“‘Knowing the Greencloaks, they could have started the rumor about the forest being enchanted’” (127). Oh, thank goodness it isn’t actually enchanted. Thirteen books in is a little late to introduce new lore.

“‘My kids would love to hear more about your adventures’” (127). Worthy’s hero arc peaks.

“ . . . for the first time on their journey, he wasn’t wearing his mask” (127). Huh.

“Meilin didn’t want to agree with Rollan, but he was right” (128). Will Meilin’s first instinct always be to argue with Rollan?

“They kept moving, walking through lunchtime” (129). Worthy didn’t complain about being hungry: character development?

“Meilin shrugged. ‘We wait. And hope that the tree outlasts the bears’” (133). I’m obsessed with Meilin being the one to suggest waiting. Not that there’s a better option.

Chapter 11

“Worthy only tripped twice. Conor took this as a positive” (135). I love how Conor is haggling (in his head) about Worthy’s clumsiness.

“‘Some rumors say that the black wildcat breathed fire when she was really mad,’ Worthy said. ‘When she hissed and spat, she’d be liable start forest fires. Maybe some of that heat is still around.’ Meilin rolled her eyes. ‘Or more likely, we’re close to a geyser or fault line that keeps that area warm’” (137). The grammar is killing me. Also, gotta love how Worthy loves to exaggerate the wildcat tales. At the end of the day, she was just a normal spirit animal, she was just bonded to a hero.

“Meilin hesitated after removing her pack, almost as if she was going to pull something from it, but left it on the ground with the others” (138). Rollan’s cloak, right?

“With his red cloak billowing behind him, he almost looked like he was flying as he dove into the water” (140). WEEEEEEEEEEE.

“‘Worthy, that was amazing!’ Conor said, kneeling beside his friend. Worthy had a few scratches, but otherwise seemed okay. ‘I can’t believe you did that!’” (141). Awwwww. He called Worthy his friend.

“She pulled out his green cloak” (142). Ha, called it.

Chapter 12

“Worthy had no idea why he leaped off the cliff to save Rollan” (143). Uh, because it was the right thing to do? Because Rollan’s part of the group?

“Prior to joining the Redcloaks, he’d always had trouble making friends” (143). Because he was a bully???

“The gyrfalcon squawked a reply. Rollan nodded” (145). I guess spirit animals and humans don’t have to be able to “speak” to one another to communicate?

“Meilin was the finest warrior he’d ever met. How could someone so ferocious be afraid of spiders?” (146). PTSD. Also, Devin canonically used to be scared of spiders. 

“‘The closest I’ve come is: Each day must end, but the mighty shall rise again under a volcano’s roar.’” (148). Imagine if Worthy was wrong, though. Or only partially correct.

“‘And on the boat . . . Worthy said the wildcat’s roar was as loud as an erupting volcano.’ . . . ‘Volcanoes also spew lava when they erupt,’ Meilin said. ‘Fire. Heat.’” (150). Obsessed with the fact that Meilin figured this out pretty much on her own.

“Gransfen and Wilco had been the protectors of an entire land. He was just a kid in a white mask and red cloak trying to make up for his past mistakes” (152). His redemption arc is almost as good as Shane’s.

“Is this the Great Briggan? And Uraza and Jhi? He looked up at the nook in the ceiling where Essix rested. This is most unexpected” (154). Yeah, following the timeline, when Gransfen died, the Four Fallen would have still been literal Great Beasts. Also, at least this time, we’re getting a solid explanation for why Gransfen is willing to give them the bond token.

“He puffed his chest out and placed his hands on his hips” (154). Worthy trying to look heroic even as he talks to a hero is funny. 

“Bond tokens are powerful, but also deadly when placed into the wrong hands” (155). Okay, at least we get a solid explanation for why the Greencloaks hid them, then.

“There were men who used distrust and division to turn leaders into sheep . . . They would channel rage and anger into weapons of destruction and death” (155). This is shockingly similar to what Kikimi said. She also used “d-words” such as death and distrust.

“Instead, she instructed me to create one of my own. My bond token, like her crystal bear talisman, would amplify Wilco’s powers” (156). This makes me wonder whether bond tokens and talismans are the same thing. The only difference is that talismans can only be used by the Marked and bond tokens can be used by anybody, but what if the Great Beasts used to be bonded to humans even before the First Devourer War? What if that’s how they got talismans in the first place (bond tokens, actually) and then when their human partners died and they became Great Beasts again, they swore to look after their bond tokens for all eternity? This theory doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but . . . 

“‘The Greencloaks have always been secretive about information they consider dangerous,’ Anka reminded them. ‘Like the source of the bonding Nectar and the location of Stetriol.’ She ran a small finger along her chameleon’s bumpy back. ‘Perhaps that’s why the nations lost their faith in them’” (158). Anka showing signs of being a traitor already. Not that these aren’t valid criticisms.

“‘Maybe that’s why the Great Beasts were so protective of their talismans,’ Rollan said. ‘I would be, too, if I knew someone could come along and smash it, wiping me from existence’” (159). We get a solid explanation for that, finally. Also, it kind of makes sense that the Great Beasts, in all their power, should have a weakness.

“‘But as long as there’s complete trust between you and the animal-’ ‘We should move out’ Meilin said, rising” (160). Meilin being the one to interrupt . . . hm.

Chapter 13

“‘Perhaps I should take the gifts,’ Anka whispered to Conor and Rollan” (162). Wow, I completely forgot about this. She really is suspicious.

“‘Meilin, honesty is a currency that doesn’t have to be spent all in one place,’ Rollan said” (162). Why is this such a Rollan thing to say. Like even without context, it just drips Rollan. I don’t know how to explain it.

“Spirit animals rushed in with them” (163). I feel like this arc completely undermines how rare spirit animals are supposed to be. An army of this size should not all have spirit animals. Besides the Greencloaks, of course. 

“‘No, more like I bit it,’ Worthy said, as he spat out a few yellow-green scales” (164). Worthy bit a snake. A snake. Which he refused to eat at the campsite. Hmmmmm . . . symbolism???

“A woman with a ruby-red sword rushed toward Anka. The woman’s brown braided hair flopped behind her as she ran” (165). Cordelia. Okay, so she’s not going to hurt Anka.

“‘Put down your weapons,’ the woman said, moving her blade closer to Anka’s throat. ‘This battle is over’” (166). Okay, so Anka must have been knocked down on purpose on her part so that Cordelia could fake-threaten her.

Chapter 14

“ . . . she thought she saw the glint of a silver bade right before the red cloak fell over it” (168). Indeed, she did.

“‘I could add you to my collection. Or perhaps I’ll make you my pet’” (168). Cordelia has a collection? Of what?

“‘ . . . I only burned the homes of half those trappers. I’d threatened to destroy all their belongings if they failed me. Again, my kindness has no bounds’” (169). She says, after literally describing a boundary of her kindness. At least she doesn’t actually appear to think she’s genuinely kind.

“It only lasted a moment, but Anka’s eyes flashed to the ground, toward Worthy’s feet” (170). She almost certainly did that on purpose.

“She stopped. Worthy’s red cloak was draped across his arm. He held the Wildcat’s Claw in his other hand” (172). That was actually a neat stunt.

“ . . . fire spewed from the jewel like a geyser turned on its side . . . ” (172). There’s no way the wildcat actually breathed fire. What???

“Abeke picked up Cordelia’s abandoned crossbow. Not as good as a bow, but it would do” (173). Abeke canonically thinks that crossbows are inferior to bows.

“‘I’ll hold them off for as long as I can. Try to buy you some time’” (175). And Worthy becomes a hero.

“This time the entire sword glowed. The steel blade had turned shiny blue. ‘Tell Dawson I was a hero!’” (176). Worthy finally getting his priorities in order. He only cares about what Dawson thinks now, instead of everybody. 

“‘Knowing Worthy, he’s probably already out, hiding in the trees. Just waiting for the perfect opportunity to reveal himself’” (180). She’s not wrong.

“Abeke couldn’t see Anka, but she was sure that she was crying, too” (180). I wouldn’t be so sure.

“‘Kovo, the Great Betrayer’” (181). Well, to be fair, he sort of did make up for that.

This book sort of parallels Hunted. In many ways, but in particular, in both books they don’t actually end up retrieving the item they came for (the Iron Boar, the Wildcat’s Claw). Very interesting.

Also, wow, does this author favor long chapters. The book is only fourteen chapters, but it's just as long as any other book in the series.

Final thoughts and rating:

I love this book. It’s definitely a character and relationship-developing book, as I mentioned, but it never feels like it slows the story down. Despite taking time to show characters’ thoughts on certain things (like Rollan’s thoughts on the Redcloaks and Abeke’s thoughts on Shane), it never sacrifices the plot for that. I like Worthy a lot in this book. His perspective is crucial to his arc and I love how it’s shown that despite his external arrogance and generally dramatic demeanor, he really does acknowledge his mistakes. Abeke’s thoughts on Shane and admitting to herself that it may do her good to talk about it was. I simply melted. When Worthy talked about how Shane taught the Redcloaks to be a team, it really brings Shane’s arc full circle, because it’s shown in many ways that when he was the Devourer, he did not care about his own soldiers at all. Rollan not trusting the Redcloaks works well with his background, and although it feels a bit like we’ve regressed in terms of his arc, it did feel realistic. Worthy sacrificing himself for the team made me soft, he truly became the hero he’d always wanted to be. The parallels to Hunted. I adore them. The way the entire book sort of mirrors Hunted, except now Conor and Worthy are on the same side? I love it. It’s another way Worthy is emphasized to have changed. I also love how Rollan used his wits to find a way to break out of the cage in the trappers scene. We need more of that. I also like how it’s implied that Anka genuinely cares about Meilin and she subtly tries to convince her that the Greencloaks are not good. It’s so genuinely chilling to reread that and see how manipulative what she says really is.

I wish Princess Song had a chapter in this book. I don’t even think she was mentioned. I wish this arc had kept up the trend of having a couple of chapters of Song’s perspective in every book, it would’ve simply been so good. We could’ve seen her spiral and lose her mind while keeping up this pristine image! We could’ve had little Easter eggs that make us feel something is off about her! It would’ve been such amazing foreshadowing! But we didn’t get it. While I like that Worthy sacrificed himself, I don’t like how he sacrificed himself. He chops off a chunk of stone, causing a collapse that falls on him as well as the Oathbound. But that’s so stupid! All he had to do was escape out of the cave and then cut through the walls on the cave to collapse it on just the Oathbound. Then he could’ve escaped through the waterfall with Abeke and the Wildcat’s Claw. Worthy’s sacrifice was necessary to the story, I agree, but holy shit, was the execution the dumbest thing ever. While I understand the parallels to Hunted and losing the bond token, I do wish the token had made it out. I wish the gang had learned to use it, especially Conor. It would’ve been so cool. Because the token is a flashy thing! It can set fire and slice through stone, both of which would leave visible marks that the Oathbound could use to track them! So the bond token would come with disadvantages that would balance the positives and I love that! It would’ve been so cool to explore. 

Rating: 9/10

[soyouwanttolandthejob]

What to ask at the end of an interviewer, when they ask what questions YOU have?

Professional recruiter here who does anywhere from 15-25 phone screenings for entry-level jobs in a typical week! As someone who talks to a lot of nervous new job seekers, and as someone who was myself a nervous new job seeker not too many years ago, I thought maybe someone, somewhere out here on Tumblr could use this info to help ace an upcoming interview!

First things first, how many questions should you ask?

There really is no magic number, but 2-3 is about what I get on average, and that is generally a very safe non-eyebrow raising number.

Truly, you aren't required to have any questions, but I will say that as an interviewer, when someone doesn't have even one single question, there is a part of me that goes....."ok, so like do you care about this job at all, or....? It can come across like you're not super interested in the job (which you might not be, but your interviewer shouldn't be able to guess that, not if you want the job).

You can ask more questions than 2-3, but if you do, you'll generally want to be mindful that they should be shorter, more yes/no type questions, rather than something that requires a long, in-depth answer. Asking 5+ really in-depth questions means the call is probably running way overtime, which isn't awful, but in a scenario where you're trying to leave a good impression, it's also not ideal.

What not to ask?

Don't ask something that's already clearly spelling out in the job description. There's a hack you can use to get around this that I'll explain in a minute, but basically, the impression you risk giving here is that you didn't read the job description at all (because the idea is that if you had, then you would already know the answer to your question) and this, in turn, it can make an interviewer see you as ill-prepared, scattered, and just not super put-together, which again, just comes down to the overall impression of yourself that you're leaving.

What do you do instead?

If you see something in the job listing or on the company website that is confusing, doesn't make sense, or that you want further info on, ask this instead:

"So I was reading through the job description and I saw XYZ, which I thought sounded really interesting! I was wondering if you could give me an example of what that would look like specifically?"

BAM, this immediately undercuts any potential assumptions that you didn't 'do your homework', while also getting you the info you need.

Is it ok to ask about benefits/salary?

Personally, I never mind if someone asks about the salary, just because it is such an important deciding factor for anybody, but I do know through the grapevine that not every company or even every individual interviewer feels the same, so I would treat this one with a little care and caution, and be aware that some places and people do see it as more taboo.

If you do choose to ask about this, I would recommend making it your last question, and I would also recommend balancing the scales with a few other non-benefit related questions. This helps you come across as a well-rounded person who is thoughtfully considering all the factors, rather than being single-mindedly focused on just money and perks.

Think like, 2-3 company/work related questions and then 1 benefit/pay related question. Again, this isn't an exact formula, but the key is balance, and the goal is to sound like you're interested in everything the job has to offer, not just the salary/perks.

What are safe/"good" questions to ask?

I do think it's important to ask questions about the things that are genuinely important make-it-or-break-it factors for you, as there's no point in wasting your time in continuing in an interview process if you find out that the job isn't going to offer something you need. For example, if you live rurally, don't have a car, and can only work a remote job, make sure to ask about that if it's unclear from the job ad! If it turns out the job can't be made remote, then better to know that now then after you've wasted weeks of your time interviewing.

That said, if you don't have any of these types of questions, and have no idea what to ask, here's some inspiration. Any of these questions are going to be pretty tame and safe, while also netting you some good info that you can use to genuinely determine if you want the job or not.

What does the onboarding process look like? (if you're new to the work force, that's the term most people will use to describe the getting-started/training period)

What sorts of growth opportunities are available within the company? (again, if you're new, growth opportunities are the business-speak way to refer to potential future promotions and advancements)

What size is the team I'd be joining?

If I were to be hired, what's one thing I could do/learn/practice in the time before my start date to get a head-start on training/preparing for this role? (this is maybe my top recommendation - it makes anyone who asks it sound like a huge go-getter and over-achiever, and makes you look GREAT to an interviewer)

How is success measured in this role? OR, What would a successful hire do that might set them apart in their first 6 months in this job?

(Bit of an umbrella category, but) Any follow-up questions about the job responsibilities themselves as listed in the job description. These will vary depending on the job, but things like: About how many phone calls a week does a typical person in this role average? What software platforms does your company use for XXX TASK? How many patients are typically on one person's case-load at a time? Stuff like that.

Why is this role open? (ie, did the previous person who did it quit? Don't ask it like that, haha, but like, that's what this question is trying to get at. Is this a role people get mad and quit from? Or is this a role people get happily promoted up from?)

How long have YOU been working here? What's been your experience working for this company? (I never thought to ask this when I was job hunting, but I actually get asked this all the time now and I never mind answering, and I also genuinely think its a good way to get a bit of an insider view on life at the company in question. Its also generally a good sign if you hear they've been at the company a while - this means this is a place people like to work at, and aren't in a hurry to quit/aren't getting fired from)

That's most of what I can think of off the top of my head, but let me know if there's any aspect of this topic that I didn't cover that you want to hear about, and I can add more!

[classicsubliminalbo]

Lacey's Story: A New Mistress

Originally published Sep 22, 2017

It was only a year ago that Lacey Stafford was another Carpenter State thrall, her mind suppressed by the power of Obedience lingerie, eagerly awaiting the command of her master, the late Professor Lange. Now the school was her first of many conquests, the start of the Stafford Empire. She began with her professors, the ones who had tried to fail her during her mindless sabbatical with Dr. Lange. A few meetings with them and Lacey managed to change their minds about her grades, turning F's into A's and, with the help of some eager nerds, amending her attendance records in the school's database. After cleaning up that mess, Lacey figured that she had all of the tools she needed to make a run at student body president, and that was when things really took off. Lacey wasn't a known face around campus, but her name took off like wildfire. She attracted crowds like a local politician, hordes of adoring students lining up to campaign for her. Carpenter State had never seen an election draw so much interest from the student body, but it had also never had a student politician like Lacey.

For a while, Lacey had an enemy in Corbin Arroyo. Carpenter State's popular social justice blogger was the only student willing to question what Lacey really stood for, but even Corbin began to waver after attending a few of Lacey's rallies. Two weeks after her first article, Who Is Really Is Lacey Stafford? Corbin published a full interview with Lacey, glowingly endorsing her campaign. Lacey won the election in a landslide. Some days Lacey felt like she should be thankful, but then again, who did she have to thank but herself?

Shortly after the election, Corbin was offered an hour to do an early morning show on student radio. Lacey became a regular guest of the Carpentergate Watchdog Hour. It was never the dry stuff that people expect from student politicians on public radio. Y'know, droning out details about upcoming events and their desperate need for volunteers. Lacey had a personality, and a really good rapport with Corbin. The show gave her an opportunity to spread her message to more students, and suddenly campus events had too many volunteers.

"So what can you tell me about Mayor Carpenter?" Corbin asked Lacey during a recording. "We have a very special relationship. Mina's been a real mentor to me," Lacey said. "I look at her and I see the woman that I want to be. Strong, compassionate, unwavering. She was the first person who suggested that I run for president, you know." "Wow," Corbin replied. "That's quite an endorsement." "I know, at first I didn't think it was possible but she kept encouraging me and finally I worked up the nerve and it's been like living in a dream ever since."

When their conversation wrapped, Corbin cut to music and as she removed her headphones for a break, Lacey whispered in her ear, "I want you naked on the floor of this soundbooth right now." Corbin shivered, and she whispered back, "Yes, Mistress. I will obey."

Lacey found that most people she encountered these days were as agreeable as Corbin, though not as totally brainwashed. It was a lot like a Jedi mind trick. She could plant thoughts in peoples minds, make them think they were their own, but it took serious conditioning to get Corbin naked and calling her Mistress. Every day Lacey found a new and even more petty way to abuse her gift, whether it was talking down the price of a desk on Craigslist or getting a free cup of coffee at Starbucks. To her it was just another life hack, like reusing butter containers as Tupperware, except with more mind control.

So how did she do it? What kind of mind control was Lacey using to keep all of campus under her spell? She had started with old fashioned hypnotism, moving up to the same mind controlling lingerie that kept her under Dr. Lange's thrall. That was enough to save her GPA, but it wasn't until a surprise email from a prominent figure that the ball really began to roll: Mina Carpenter, the mayor of Romero and great granddaughter of Alabaster Carpenter IV, founder of Carpenter State University.

"A very special relationship?" Mina echoed when Lacey took a seat in her personal office. Trips to the Carpenter Mansion had become regular since Mina first reached out. Lacey blushed. "I didn't know you listened to public radio." "I stay informed," Mina said with a sly smile. "If you get too cheeky people may start to suspect something." "Let them," Lacey shrugged. "Corbin was the wokest person on campus and even she wasn't immune to my power. I'll break anyone who challenges me."

Mina's smile widened. "Those are the best slaves," she said. "The Corbin Arroyos of the world, the righteous ones. Some minds bend, but theirs break." "You scare me sometimes," Lacey replied.

Mina laughed coolly and slid out of her seat, pacing to the other side of the desk and settling behind Lacey. The woman's presence sent a shiver down Lacey's spine. "I have to be honest, Lacey, I'm concerned that you've forgotten the purpose of your gift."

Lacey stiffened in her chair. "What do you mean?" she asked. Mina brushed a cold finger down Lacey's neck and the tense girl loosened at the woman's touch. Then Mina asked, "Who do you serve?" "You," Lacey replied quietly, submissively. "Miss...tress..." The last word came out tortured, like some part of Lacey was trying to fight Mina's control. "Your power of persuasion is a parlor trick compared to what I can do," Mina warned. "The students of Carpenter State may answer to you, but you answer to me. Do you understand?" "Yes, Mistress," Lacey droned. "Your strength is infinite, your gift a blessing. Thank you for humbling me with your power."

Mina was content, and she excused Lacey. The young girl obeyed, walking silently through the mansion, her mind empty until she crossed the threshold. She collapsed there in front of the mansion doors. Lacey's heart beat heavy in her chest as she struggled to collect her breath. Lacey knew when Mina gave her the gift that she would pay a price, but she didn't know yet what that price was. But she knew that eventually Mina would come to collect, and Lacey would be powerless to stop her.

[abominationvault]

Session 25: Sat 17 Feb 2024

Lots of waffle this week. Something about searching for yellow cake uranium on Amazon. Jeff Bezos builds a rocket to fuck the moon. Musk is the worst one, and also has the worst, most slappable face. Just by looking at him, you can hear the sound it would make if you slapped him.

D&D Peasant rail gun? Hartvig explains how that works, and we immediately want to try it. Equally immediately, the DM vetoes it because he refuses to build a map big enough to accommodate one.

Hartvig then goes on to describe another D&D hack, which involves casting Enlarge/Reduce on a cannon ball so it fits in a gun, then when it fires out of the barrel it becomes a cannon ball size again. Nadia wants to try it so bad, but no matter what she says our poopy-pants DM won’t let her. Booh.

Right, initiative is rolled so off we go!

Luna’s up first but she’s still wrangling a toddler, so Sprocket will take her turn if the DM will move her and roll dice and stuff for him. (He’s in the shed being quiet to make the toddler-wrangling easier.)

Luna takes up a concealed position (keeping out of the violet fungus’ ten foot reach). She Hides first behind Jorg’ath (well; she climbs up him with her claws as cats are wont to do) and takes aim at the nearest fungus through the door. 13 (Her stealth check was a nat 1, so a 12 total) but she Hero Points the attack. 22 is more betterer. Max damage! But no sneak attack. She has an action left, so continuing Operation Crocodile Shield, she shoots another arrow at the same fungus. Rolling a green number, please. She wouldn’t roll a 7, that’s very out of character DM, please do it again and remember she is the Favoured Cat. 18 does hit, but only 5 damage. (Where's the DM Win button now?)

The fungus wants to know what Nadia’s dex is; 18, so more than them. She takes her turn, and shoots with a 22 to hit after moving forward. “Then I’m going to… shit.”

Skabb: “Please don’t, the rest of us are right here.”

She moves back out of the way, while the others debate whether lizards have tits, for some reason? Jorg’ath asks “What about the Lusty Argonian Maid?” but the book only mentions her lifting her tail. Skabb: “Somewhere, some nasty nasty neckbeard has drawn it.”

The fungus shuffles into the tiny room with us and does something at Jorg’ath and Luna. Tenacles, eurgh. (Jorg’ath has been googling, and discovers that Argonian women do in fact have tits. We are all suitably disgusted.)

Jorg’ath makes a save against Violet Rot - he rolls a 24. No poison for him. He might need some sort of shielding, as he’s a bit down on hit points. He’s nowhere near his favourite one yet though.

The last fungus dashes. Sprocket: “That is some Fantasia bullshit.” The fungus stings Hartvig - well it tries, but it misses.

Skabbo! Most of her spells are AoE, but she thinks her Wand of Magic Missile might do it. Yes; guaranteed hits, she is told. “Off I go then,” she says, and rolls, and then remembers about the chocolate in her car! Hopefully Jorg’ath won’t like it, so she won’t have to share. She rolls minimum damage, and isn’t allowed to Hero Point a damage roll. Booh. She runs to get her chocolate.

Sprocket! “Just a minute…” (He runs back in from the shed, as BWJ is down.)

(“I would just like to share my sadness with you all, he likes the chocolate,” Skabb breaks in to tell us.)

Sprocket wants to do a spell but he’s right up in it. Are there penalties for short range spell attacks? No, but it does something with opportunity attacks. Okay, he’ll cast Phase Bolt - 15 hits for 8 damage, and then he casts Boost Eidolon on Augustus. Then, Augustus is going to have “a good old thumpy fist slam bonking of the majigger.” (Apparently he has a Hero Point, and Sprocket has no idea where it came from. He uses it to re-Fist Slam, but still misses.)

Wait - the mushroom is flanked, so Augustus does hit! Well done Jorg’ath for spotting that.

Hartvig Needle Darts the one at the front. “Needle!” he shouts, and does 7 damage. The mushroom squeals, and its cap starts to collapse. It didn’t like that. Hartvig uses his last action to move away. Or - wait. Heal? He can’t reach anyone who needs healing. Flense? No, that’s two actions. He casts Guidance on Jorg’ath.

Jorg’ath hits a mushroom with his Greatsword and howdedoodis! Then he will hit another - it’s looking raggedy. His last attack is a miss, and he saves his Hero Points.

Back to Luna, who is back at her keyboard. She will stab one with her rapier - crit. “Hooray!” Howdedoodis! “Are there any more?” she asks, sounding slightly disappointed. Some confusion about her next roll, but the DM rules she can roll critical damage. Yeah. It’s looking ropey! She gets a Hero Point.

Nadia hits the last mushroom and shoots it dead for a Howdy doodis. “You know when you slice a mushroom for a bolognese or something? Like that, but with a gun.”

We have cleared the garden of mushrooms! Nadia scoops up some venom to sell while Jorg’ath patches himself up.

Nadia needs a buddy to help her with the venom-scooping - Jorg’ath and Skabb help her out, and she manages to get two vials of venom. Wait - Sprocket will re-roll his check so she gets 3. They are worth 12gp a vial, so we can use that to decorate our new house!

(Skabb and Hartvig look up cooking with guns, which is apparently a real thing. God help us all.)

Skabb splats some mud on herself, with help from Sprocket splatting his little paddle hands in the wounds. Hartvig does a Heal scroll for Jorg’ath and another for Nadia, and we move on. Jorg’ath does a sniff, but doesn’t catch anything.

We push Luna to the front so she can sneak and we can copy her homework. She and Hartvig make Perception checks; Luna makes a Will save - wuh-oh. 23, phew.

At the edge of her hearing, she can hear hundreds of horrible little voices talking to each other, and she feel momentarily nauseous but shakes it off. “Like being offered a prawn cocktail.” She is aware of it, but it’s far off and she can ignore it.

Skabb wants to be on the ceiling, but has to roll a Perception check first. She can’t hear whatever it is, so she’s fine. She casts Spider Climb and scuttles up onto the ceiling, but then is warned that if she falls she might take fall damage. She takes it back for a moment, at least until we can see what’s on the other side of the door. It only lasts an hour.

Jorg’ath opens the door and finds the lift that Joto and Skabb found earlier. There are cultists to the north, Skabb tells him. Sprocket toddles in and makes a Perception check - it’s high, so he rolls a Will save. 18, a fail...

Behind Luna, Sprocket goes strange and walks into the wall and falls on his bottom. (It makes a clown horn noise.) she picks him up and he hugs her shin. “Charlies in the trees!” he cries. Augustus fails his Perception check, so he’s fine.

Nadia comes in as well, but hears nothing. Augie rolls good on both - he claps his hands to his ears and warns us not to listen to the words. He doesn’t know what they are, but it’s not good. Grabby Cat rolls an 11. “She don’t hear shit. She got fluff in her ears.”

Skabb casts Detect Magic - it pings off the walls and comes back. She senses nothing but the magic coming off some of her friends. “Oh, no, is it a bloody haunt?” she groans.

Jorg’ath moves onward. He sees an image of a moss-adorned skull. “Oh no I’ve opened a door and there’s someone in here!”

Tiny swatches of skin marked with tattoos arrayed around the place. The tattoos were placed post-mortem, and form an image of a sinister woman...

Sitting with a piece of flesh in its hand, tattooing away, is this:

He looks up and shouts and swears at Jorg’ath for interrupting him.

Initiative!

The surprised… ghoul? goes first. He screams at Jorg’ath, who doesn’t understand him. Skabb speaks Undercommon; she makes a Perception check. She hears “Dirty stupid stinking shit-eating lizard, barging in here!! I will tattoo the vilest of obscenities on your corpse before I eat you!”

Rosk goes first, and lunges at Jorg’ath mouth first. 29 hits, and Jorgy makes a Fortitude save - 29. He’s fine. Then another - 13. He’s not diseased, but he IS paralysed. He Hero Points it for a nat 20, 30 total! Rosk bites again with a 29 to hit, doing 24 damage. He’s down to FOUR hit points… This thing has nearly taken out our tank in the first round.

“There won’t be much left to tattoo on at this rate,” Skabb observes drily.

“If you would all like to kill him before his next turn,” Jorg’ath says, hands pressed to the presumably gaping wound in his chest.

Augie puts himself in the middle while we are discussing having Hartvig heal us. And what our new characters might be.

Luna’s turn. (Sprocket is riding on her foot, so he goes with her. He’s also a level of Confused.) She squeezes in next to Jorgy and does some stabbing. 28 hits and she has Sneak Attack for 27 total. “Since I’m here…” she considers, and then stabs him again. “Fuck it.” She crits! 22 more damage, and a Hero point for being badass.

The ghoul takes umbrage at her turning him into a bag of mashed potato, and spits at her. She hisses back and does a little cat wash.

Hartvig does a big Heal, rolling max healing for Jorg'ath.

Sprocketses. “… What?!” He starts - wait. No he can’t hear the noise any more, so he comes to his senses and doesn’t have to start his turn with a Will save. He does have a mad ghoul to deal with though, so he starts off with Horizon Thunder Sphere, but 18 misses. “Uuuuugghhhhhhh…” he says. “What if I was to Hero Point it?” He can do that, if he likes. “More, bigger numbers,” he says, and rolls a 27. Apparently he can Heighten all of his spells, so he can add one to the damage - and roll another 2d6 as well, for this one. 18 total damage! Augustus leaps over Luna, Sprocket and Jorgy, onto the table.

Nadia runs into the room, elbows Luna out of the way and shoots the new horrible ghoul.

Skabberlina. “Riddle me this: If I bite a ghoul, am I exposed to nasty ghoul fever?” We know that if they bite us we make a save, but what if we bite them? She’s good, so Skabb will go grill first at the ghoul. She can reach it from atop Luna’s head so she does, apologising for dribbling on her. 20 to attack? That’s a - miss??!? Even though he’s flanked?

Skabb was expecting a delicious chunk in her mouth so she has another go - misses again, and sulks.

Jorgy shoves Augie out of the way (“No, I ask him nicely,” he tells the DM) and strikes the ghoul with his greatsword. 13 misses, so he uses a Hero Point to re-roll. 24 does hit, for 7 damage. Greataxe for his third atta- nope. 19 misses.

The ghoul spends his first action swearing at us and making threats in Undercommon about turning our skin into art (Skabb shouts back at him) and then does Swift Leap and tries to eat Sprocket!

32 to hit and it crits the damage for 21 total. “… Ouchie.” Then Sprocket has to make TWO fortitude saves. “Wait wait wait,” he says, doing maths and amending his hit point total. “I’ve just taken a horrendous amount of damage...” 12 and 29 on the saves. He’s not paralysed. “That’s a good bit of news! It’s all new experiences. I’m enjoying all of it.”

Augie has found a new food so he has a go at eating it. (Skabb thinks he deserves a Hero Point.) He crits, doing 35 total damage, yeah. (The DM laments Skabb's excellent roll in convincing Augie to come with us.)

Luna’s go. (Sprocket: “Save us all.”) She steps over and gives the ghoul another little stabbing. 24 hits for 7 damage, and he’s flanked so she gets Sneak Attack as well. Howdy doo dis! “Nastily,” she says.

Skabb looks at the bits of tattooed skin; they have pictures on. She starts collecting them and putting them in her pocket. Some have words, eurgh. The one on the table catches her eye - it looks suspiciously familiar to the ‘meaty effigy’ we found, and some of the portraits we’ve seen as well. Is that Velcro? She makes a History check. (Sprocket will help.) “Well this is a good sign,” says Skabb. “I can’t even find History on here.” (The DM has been playing Baldur’s Gate.) She rolls Society instead - yes, it’s Velcro. She casts Detect Magic on the tattooed image. Nothing.

There are two bulk’s worth of books about tattoo artistry and the history of tattoos in here - they are History books, which might be of interest to the wizard whose private musings Skabb has plastered all over town. Augustus might like to carry them, given that he’s huge and looks a bit like a bookshelf? He will. He’s made out of sunken ships, Sprocket tells her sniffily.

(Could we nap in Augustus, Skabb wonders. Sprocket says that while he is in this realm, he is the size he is, and doesn’t have a pocket plane or anything that would fit a bigger person. Sprocket himself might fit, or maybe Skabb.)

Skabb thanks him for holding the books in his tummy; Augustus gives a wooden thumbs-up. Skabb wants to raid the corpse but he has nothing but his raggedy clothes.

Jorg’ath swings open another door. The desk in here is now a butcher’s block, and there are bits of flesh strung around the room. Augie points to the meat and says, “Morlock.” Jorgy finds a hatchet - it’s plus one, low grade silver. He adds it to his inventory, and whistles for the goblin, who might want a look at all this meat.

Skabb sees five dead morlocks stored in here, presumably for the ghouls. She gives one a lick, to see if she likes Morlock meat - and makes a Fortitude save. 14 - will she become a wendigo? “What’ve I got, what’ve I caught?” she asks gleefully. Nothing - yet. She slaps some mud on her tongue. It’ll do the 3 hp she’s down, but won’t cure whatever it is that’s now festering.

We do some more healing before we move on. Skabb warns the rest of us to give her a wide berth.

Jorg’ath finds a big room. “Shall we go in the big room?” There’s another door.

Jorg’ath and Luna each have a door - they open both at once. Luna finds buckets of sand, and a wooden case with a closed lid on the back of the door. A cupboard?

Jorg’ath finds beds and chunks of bone - and two new friends, so we can all roll initiative! (Skabb warns us not to lick the chunks.)

Augie flies straight in and sets about the first ghoul. 26 to hit and 16 damage. Getting it done! He rips its arm off and chews it. Sprocket goes next and shoots a Phase Bolt in it and gets a howdy doodis. It dies very theatrically; we all think it’s a bit much. He does another Phase Bolt at the other one and hits it for 9 damage. Jorg’ath is impressed.

Hartvig is next. “Yes… Jolly good,” he says as he considers his approach. He does Needle Darts, Hero Points it and crits. Howdy doodis! “Machine gun noise! Needleneedleneedleneedle!” He’s hit something twice today. We should make him a banner.

Jorg’ath stands in Luna’s cupboard emitting light so she can see, and she makes a Perception check of 22. Barrels of water, and a latched case inside which is a very fancy looking magic wand. She makes an Arcana check - 12. She’s not sure what it does. Sprocket should know. He knows everything, despite being (7? 8?) days old. Arcana check - 11. “Yup. No idea.”

Jorg’ath wants to do an Arcana check even though he’s not trained, and rolls a 5. The DM consults his Book of Horrors and discovers that we should have been doing Nature checks! It’s a Wand of Extinguishing!

Jorg’ath knocks the top off one of the barrels and sinks it. “Yumyumyumyumyumyumyum. I am refreshed.”

Skabb dumps some of her tattooed skin bits in the barrels and we call it there as it’s getting late.

[beneathashadytree]

ALWAYS WANTING - SHINGEN TAKEDA X READER

Warnings : implications of sex, semi-nudity, this is not proofread, reader is gender-neutral!

Genre : spicy (just tension, no NSFW!)

Word count : 1.1K words

Additional notes : Got writer’s block in the middle of me aching for this man. And yes, I do have a thing for competent, flirty older men, sue me.

Tip jar if you’d like to buy me a Ko-Fi!

Masterlist

An odd, persistent scraping sound, followed by some hacking and clinking, then repeated all over again was what woke them up from a pleasant and deep sleep. Though their limbs still felt like water, and they still basked in the gentle sort of soreness of a night of boundless pleasure only their husband could give them, their curiosity made them blink past the haze of slumber.

With a push, they dragged themself out of the futon, haphazardly reaching up to try and pat their hair down to look half-decent (though they supposed that the various blatantly obvious marks that they suspected littered their neck and chest were anything but inconspicuous). Lazily trudging out of their room, they walked into the gardens, where all the noise seemed to be coming from.

Within seconds, the sight in front of them had their breath hitching in their throat, and completely robbed them of their ability to speak. After all, it wasn’t every day that they woke up to the sight of Shingen’s back muscles flexing with every movement of his, droplets of sweat trickling down the sturdy planes of his back.

A quick glance downwards told them that he was busy sawing at a half-sanded piece of wood, amidst a whole lot of other odd bits and pieces that they couldn’t make sense of even if they tried. His woodmaking tools were neatly spread out around him, clearly organized in a manner familiar to him.

Though it was spring, the sun was quite hot out in the gardens, and so it made perfect sense for him to have slipped his muscular arms out of his sleeves, his obi a lot looser on his waist like that—perfect sense, though it left them with a dry throat, burning cheeks, and unabashedly wandering eyes. With ever movement he made to chip away at an edge or saw a piece in half, they remained fixated on the way every muscle rippled and relaxed almost artfully.

Truly, Shingen was a sight to behold at all times, but when his cinnamon hair was half-slicked against his damp forehead, and half mussed in a devastatingly-charming way, and his every movement spelled out the hard-earned strength of decades, and his large calloused hands handled his carpentry so deftly it made them envy it, he was far too dangerous a threat to their heart and sanity.

They feared that maybe their pounding heartbeat had grown too loud, because they’d barely moved another inch from where they’d been standing before he took notice of their presence and turned his head to face them. And then there was that smile that promised frenzied trysts and passionate nights, while pouring all of both his spoken and wordless adoration into them, and they could no longer think straight at all.

Shingen’s eyes, a soft ash of defiant rebirth and always of sensuality, visibly lit up at the sight of them standing behind him. “There you are, my love. Here I was, wondering if the Gods had blessed me with exceptionally good luck with this, when it simply was your presence.” Even though they rolled their eyes at his saccharine words, they couldn’t help the upwards quirk of their lips. “Come, sit beside me for a while.”

There was no need for him to say more, for they found their legs moving of their own accord and crossing their legs underneath them, watching him up close as he huffed and puffed while sanding the surface of the wooden slab he was currently working on to perfection.

They made sure not to touch anything or knock over any resting pieces surrounding him, so as not to accidentally mess up his preferred order of things, but still, they worried. “Am I not being a distraction?”

Pausing his ministrations, Shingen glanced back up at them, an unreadable look flitting through his eyes for a second as he seemed to instantaneously scan their entire being. They had no idea as to what he’d found, but there must’ve been something betraying their innermost, most carnal desires, because he made sure to give them his most winning smirk.

“While your presence certainly robs me of all rationality more often than not, I do believe I’m not the one currently distracted.” A flex of his abdominals as he leaned back to rest on his arms, and their teeth chewed at their bottom lip, their body reacting to the man that knew them, inside-out and all over every curve and crevice.

And when Shingen chuckled at the way their face spelled all their barely-contained yearning, it only resounded in their chest, where he’d long nestled deep inside their heart. Damn him, and damn his unbearably sensual gaze, and damn the way he’d now languidly lied back, like a tiger waiting for the signal to pounce on his prey and devour them whole.

For a few beats, they only breathed in the tension, thick and syrupy with all the emotions and words they both held back. But they’d never been one to sit still and wait, really.

“Well, I can see you’re quite immersed in this, but what would you say to an invitation back inside? And… as quickly as possible?”

“You present a tempting offer, and I find it hard to refuse one from a generous deity.” Voice smooth as silk and rich as gold, now lowered to a delicious purr that sent warmth pooling deep into their belly. “Especially when looked at with such a passionate gaze. It makes a man feel like the heavens have blessed him all over again.”

Before they’d even processed it, Shingen had leaned in dangerously close enough for his scent to be all over them—musk, sandalwood, earth, and just as tempting as every inch of him was. Their heart stuttered and their breath held, they could only give into his arm curling around their waist, as his teeth teasingly tugged at their ear.

Everything burned all at once; every place he touched ached for more of him—and more he seemed all too eager to offer, if the blazing heat in his eyes was anything to go by.

“Then take me,” they somehow managed to breath out, “Take me and show me how you’d worship me.”

And perhaps it was the way he’d scooped them into his arms like they’d weighed absolutely nothing to him, but as he began to carry them inside, they couldn’t help the gasp that escaped them, to which he chuckled in that alluring way of his, sending sparks of pleasure tingling down their very spine.

“I’d gladly do as my beloved desires.”

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[internetgiraffekid1673]

YES THANK YOU FOR YOUR ADDITIONS! One of my biggest theses on Ever After High is that every character is inherently magical to some extent, and I'm always disappointed when it doesn't come up.

Some minor corrections/extra notes:

1) Cerise is also, obviously, part wolf and so has enhanced speed, strength, hearing, smell, etc. I also headcanon her as colorblind due to this.

2) Hunter has the additional ability to be able to construct nearly anything out of natural materials. His father uses this for making traps, Hunter uses it for making birdhouses.

4) Kitty doesn't have to be smiling to disappear, it just happens at will. HOWEVER. Kitty is ALWAYS smiling in the books regardless of her emotions. This seems to be involuntary, as she remains smiling while staring down the Jabberwocky, which is the only thing she's well and truly afraid of. Whenever her expressions change in the book, it is described as "her smile became terrified," or "kitty's smile seemed sad," etc.

5) Hopper will actually just change back kind of at random/after it wears off. Getting kissed is only a thing that happens when a spell goes very wrong and turns him into an actual frog. The books and the show also flip-flop on whether it's getting tongue-tied that causes the transformation, or if it's blushing, so I personally believe it's just "strong embarassment," which can be indicated by either.

6) Cedar is also cursed with caring and kindness. This makes her have a lot of questions about whether or not she's actually a good person that gets mostly resolved in A Wonderlandiful World, but also has the interesting side effect of making EVERYONE like Cedar. And I mean EVERYONE. There is not a soul at Ever After High that dislikes Cedar Wood, and even Kitty---infamous for being aloof and a pain in the rear---is fiercely protective of her.

7) Raven also tends to attract dark creatures to her in the same way princesses attract woodland animals. When they sing, songbirds flock to them. When Raven sings, she attracts bats. Most creatures of darkness recognize Raven because of her mother, although this doesn't automatically translate to respecting Raven herself.

8) Addressing something from OP: Apple's charm 1000% works via intention, not actual "good." This is evident in that she gets Humphrey to hack the mirror network for her TWICE, for basically opposite reasons. Apple believes she's doing good both times, but the first time she is working against Raven and for Headmaster Grimm, and the second time she's working with Raven and against Grimm.

9) Also, a feature that many of the princesses seem to share, although Darling and Apple are particularly notable examples, is that the universe conspires to make them always look perfect. Darling is literally incapable of having a rumpled appearance because her off-the-wall genetics and the wind will always fix it. This annoys her greatly. Apple is never dirty, even after running through a swamp at full speed, and never sweats, which drives Raven insane. A notable exception to this would be Duchess, who is incredibly irritated that none of the other princesses have so much as heard of bedhead.

Need more fics of people actually using their weird ass powers in eah like, darlings time slowing hair flick ? Briars enhanced hearing (while asleep though I feel bad for her) hell even apples weird 'charm' thing to get people to do good stuff, is good based on general consensus or apples intent?

Obligatory gif featuring raven queen

[barbielezbian]

Last minute read Spellhacker by M.K. England (you may recognize them from The Disasters!) And wow!!!!! Obsessed with this magic system; having the different strains and having to weave them in different combinations was a really cool idea. Plus I love that these were "criminals" at the beginning. There were some twists I saw and some I didn't- the end was an insane epic proportion. Some thing fell short - the end handled the romance weirdly, some stuff didn't make sense (scientifically and otherwise), etc. But! Very great diversity and struggle and realistic anger, still a very neat read!!