#why do we keep doing this to ourselves smh

[barszcz-czerwony-i-biali]

My Review of the JVP Haggadah Part One

Kadeish

Basically summed up it says, "we can't do kadeish because people are suffering,"

Yes people are suffering but I hate shit like this mindset because suffering will always exist but as Kohelet 3:1 says there is a season for everything. There is a time to mourn and a time to celebrate. You are allowed to do both.

The Haggadah my shul used, used kadeish to discuss the fact that with kadeish we are taking within our hands the freedom to define our days and claim ownership of our time. I feel like for the JVP Haggadah, the approach my Haggadah used is more empowering.

My second issue is that they refuse to use any of the actual Hebrew brachot. Like come on the blessing for wine isn't that long. My pet peeve in general is when prayers get watered down but even that isn't as bad as a complete absence.

Urchatz

Wow, we're really doing the poisoning the wells schtick smh

Karpas

Welp here's the watered down blessings.

They go on to discuss how people in Palestine have no water and I know water is a precious thing, The flint Water Crisis wasn't so long ago, It was close, but even then, I don't know about taking a ritual and constantly reminding yourself that many go with out. It's like sitting down to eat dinner every night and going you don't deserve this meal when there's starving children in Africa.

Then it goes into discussing Karpas for real this time and brings up soil, which brings me back to soil science class, this haggadah is written as if it's supposed to induce despair in its readers and offers no resolution or no hope that there may will be.

What's with all this shit about salt? Don't they know that too much salt is bad for soil and your health? Clearly they never took soil science.

Also if you're concerned about not having enough salt, just get a box of the manischewitz matzo ball soup mix, there's a deadly amount of sodium in that

I don't expect a happy ending in my Seder and the Seder ends with the beginning of forty arduous years in the desert. Gaining freedom isn't the end of suffering rather you have to keep building on your new found freedom and endure because you choose to rather than because it it's chosen for you. I have always felt drawn to my faith because I remember tehilim 23, and yes it's important to remember that things aren't always great but even as we walk through the valley of death we perservere through our faith in Hashem and our refusal to give up the hope that we will continue and endure.

Why the fuck am I writing a better JVP Haggadah then they did.

Yachatz and Maggid,

what I'm getting here is that I should have just pounded my matzo into dust? Okay I'm exaggerating but like?

So now it goes into the whole boo birthright and shit. Then I don't really know what the whole spiel of the first part of the Maggid part is trying to convey other than it's just more of that hippie dippie watered down Judaism combined with an occasional mentioning of Palestine here and there

Ma Nishtanah

In the Warsaw Ghetto, people still managed to find ways to mark holidays, I guarantee in Gaza, despite the difficulties, there are still people who are celebrating Eid. maybe not the same way and it may be difficult to feel joy in situations like that but, again it feels offensive to keep up with the self flagellating when you yourself are not in these situations and it only feels like you are trying to mimic other's actual suffering. Yes Passover is about putting yourself in someone else's shoes but it's not this.

Also why aren't you answering the questions? You ask the questions so someone can answer them so you can discuss and understand

"When a ceasefire comes—if a ceasefire comes?—what will be left to celebrate then?"

Stfu! Humanity always fucking survives, we overcome, fucking hell

Are you afraid of being dismissed by your family or are you refusing to listen or refusing to admit that you may not have the full answer? Which I get in anything we all tend to cast ourselves out rather than coming to understand that maybe we should listen to the other side even when it's uncomfortable. I'm a hypocrite for saying this but least I acknowledge it.

I'm not following the oppositional child is this a good thing or bad thing or what? Again when we were children we had to learn to listen even when we didn't like it or it was uncomfortable, it seems like they are holding a positive view of this behaviour, and perhaps I'm old fashioned in my 20 years of age but to a young child, all you know is your own truth, it should be acknowledged and taken into consideration but at the end of the day, you're not getting your way even though it feels unfair that you're stuck in the store while mamusia is grocery shopping, and pitching a tantrum the whole time isn't going to do much even if your truth as a child is somewhat valid and this store sucks ass. (I mean I lived in a household with firm parenting so my mom didn't give into that kind of shit)

Here was what was written in my shul's Haggadah note the way it approaches similar themes of current injustice and how it approaches how we should carry ourselves.

"It is a tradition at the Seder to include a section entitled “the Four Children.” We have turned it upside down, to remind us that as adults we have a lot to learn from youth. From the U.S. to South Africa to Palestine, young people have been, and are, at the forefront of most of the social justice movements on this planet. If there is a mix of ages of people at your seder, perhaps some of the older people would like to practice asking questions, and the younger folks would like to respond:

The Angry Adult – Violent and oppressive things are happening to me, the people I love and people I don’t even know. Why can’t we make the people in power hurt the way we are all hurting? Hatred and violence can never overcome hatred and violence. Only love and compassion can transform our world.

Cambodian Buddhist monk Maha Ghosananda, whose family was killed by the Khmer Rouge, has written: It is a law of the universe that retaliation, hatred, and revenge only continue the cycle and never stop it. Reconciliation does not mean that we surrender rights and conditions, but means rather that we use love in all our negotiations. It means that we see ourselves in the opponent -- for what is the opponent but a being in ignorance, and we ourselves are also ignorant of many things. Therefore, only loving kindness and right-mindfulness can free us.

The Ashamed Adult – I’m so ashamed of what my people are doing that I have no way of dealing with it?!? We must acknowledge our feelings of guilt, shame and disappointment, while ultimately using the fire of injustice to fuel us in working for change. We must also remember the amazing people in all cultures, who are working to dismantle oppression together everyday.

Marianne Williamson said: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually who are you not to be? You are a child of G-d. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of G-d that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

The Fearful Adult – Why should I care about ‘those people’ when they don’t care about me? If I share what I have, there won’t be enough and I will end up suffering. We must challenge the sense of scarcity that we have learned from capitalism and our histories of oppression. If we change the way food, housing, education, and resources are distributed, we could all have enough

Martin Luther King said: It really boils down to this: that all life is interrelated. We are all caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied into a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. We are made to live together because of the interrelated structure of reality.

The Compassionate Adult – How can I struggle for justice with an open heart? How can we live in a way that builds the world we want to live in, without losing hope? This is the question that we answer with our lives.

Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel wrote: Just to be is a blessing. Just to live is holy. And yet being alive is no answer to the problems of living. To be or not to be is not the question. The vital question is: how to be and how not to be…to pray is to recollect passionately the perpetual urgency of this vital question.

Anne Frank wrote: It’s really a wonder that I haven’t dropped all of my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart. I simply can’t build up my hopes on a foundation consisting of confusion, misery, and death. I see the world gradually being turned into a wilderness, I hear the ever approaching thunder, which will destroy us too; I can feel the sufferings of millions and yet, if I look up into the heavens, I think that it will all come right, that this cruelty too will end and that peace and tranquility will return again. In the meantime, I must uphold my ideals, for perhaps the time will come when I shall be able to carry them out."

Each of us bears in our own belly the angry one, the ashamed one, the frightened one, the compassionate one. Which of these children shall we bring to birth? Only if we can deeply hear all four of them can we truthfully answer the fourth question. Only if we can deeply hear all four of them can we bring to birth a child, a people that is truly wise."

See the difference in tone?!?! While I'm not one for the super justicey haggadot, this just feels better and more empowering and thought provoking. And if you're like me and not a fan of these kinds of additions right before we had regular Ma Nishtanah so it still feels like a Passover someone could recognize as a Seder in any age.

Over all, here is what I have a problem with, If I went to say a Juneteenth celebration, wouldn't it be inappropriate for me to constantly bring up the shoah in comparison to try to make Juneteenth more about me? Yes. I was sitting next to three gentile black folks and did they decide to hijack the Seder and make it all about their people's horrific centuries of slavery? Nope. I'm sure I know I for example made connections internally to both Jewish suffering in the shoah and other aspects, and to things like new world slavery. But I have the social skills to recognize that at this time and place, the focus is on the Exodus from Mitzrayim. There's no need to derail.

I also think it pisses me off because like I said it wouldn't be appropriate to hijack someone else's culture of remembrance in order to constantly discuss my own.

I am going to stop here at the 10 Plagues of Zionism which includes sprinkling of the Sefirot, which I don't know about you but all this makes me think is reading all this makes me think of Sephiroth and makes me wish he could summon meteor and put an end to this shit Haggadah

Oh it's the fucking Kohenet people no wonder this shit is all new age.

Bro making wine ain't alchemy, unless you're Jesus apparently

It's one in the morning fucking hell

[timeslipcamp]

ep 17 spoilers, another faculty rant

dude i really don't think the staff cares if we get cured or not lmao

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IF

okay. okay. granted. mc is just some random girl cursed on a train and she's going to be turned into an anomaly in a year. i can see why it'd be a little like "oh no what can you do"

but like??? you said in the intro your whole thing is to protect people, why aren't you doing more? RIGHT HERE its stated you could have the WHOLE worldwide institute at your fingertips and yet! and YET you are still saying 10 months into this that we need to prove ourselves

this just plays right into that i don't think darkwick cares about research or understanding the anomalies, they want them contained and controlled.

we see their wack security with the barometz, we see the abysmal conditions lyca (and more!!!!) were kept in, they CAPTURED ed before he came to be a student--

it's never been about curing mc. it's never been about helping her. it genuinely seems like from the beginning that it's been about using her while she's useful and then the second she turns, she's "dying"--aka being thrown in those cells. that's probably why they said she was dying at first, so that way when she disappeared after a year, no one would question it.

the other dissidents (former students) are probably being rounded up too! wouldn't be surprised if they've kept around the useful ones. why do you think haku and rui and jin have all said at some point to just keep your head down?

darkwick (and the institute) are UP to something i can feel it i just don't know what yet smh

[astrologanize]

have been in a massive funk (depressive episode?) that i haven’t experienced to this severity since 2016 and if anyone can relate then i figured i’d share what i have been doing to help with that

- invested in vitamins (magnesium glycinate, calcium, d3) since i’ve been having skin issues i have been avoiding the sun since i don’t want to go through the process of trialing sunscreens and seeing what does & doesn’t work, potentially worsening said issues smh. but i recently said fuck it and got some neutrogena  baby sunscreen that’s fragrance free and all that jazz because it’s supposed to be gentle and it is affordable and neutrogena has worked for me in the past so why not. i purchased another sunscreen months ago but i don’t think my skin was a fan of it because it was a lil burn-y and tingly after application, thankfully i tested it on my arms first and not my face. idk we’ll see. such is life

- also trying to take more notice in the foods that make me feel good and provide me with energy/mood boost! and mostly avoiding foods that aren’t worth the accompanying lethargy or upset stomach, but listen...your taste buds matter...so if a food is enjoyable for me and makes me happy then any *mild* discomfort in the aftermath is worth it in moderation from time to time 

- i’m doing a 30 day mindfulness challenge! and that’s lovely! you can look them up and pick whichever provides you with what you feel you’re most in need of. writing down what you are grateful for and focusing on the positives of what is happening in your life also never hurts

- i’ve been clearing out any spaces that need it. even on my annoying ass phone...i’ve been transferring anything i want to save onto a usb and it is a time consuming process that i’m trying to do in increments but i know it’s going to feel great once i have my phone as cleared out as possible so i can start saving new memories & momentos (: 

- choosing to shorten my work week by 1 day so that i am able to have a free day on the weekend to fill my personal cup of happiness!! because that is always worth it!!!!!! i shall budget accordingly but i am grateful to be doing so

- “look good feel good” except looking good to me is more about feeling comfortable in my own skin and clothing. i hate putting on a constricting outfit that may look good but makes me feel like i can’t move around freely and enjoy life. outfits that do make me feel good about the way i am presenting myself that also allow me to move freely are the goal! and hygiene is important. some days i feel lazy as hell and don’t want to do the stuff that i know makes me (feel) better but i do it because i know it makes me (feel) better...once in a while tho it’s like lol nah imma let myself be stagnant and not do that for a moment and the world will not end, i won’t feel as great but that’s okay...eventually i will resume maintaining what i need to and perk up. it’s okay to stop for a moment sometimes but ya gotta get back on it 

- really trying to keep in mind that every day is a new unlived day that is not meant to look exactly like the last and you cannot always expect your best to look the same. there’s always going to be emotions that come up, mishaps, life interference, and challenges that meet you along the way and that’s how it’s meant to be. we shall control what we can and adapt how we must. you just keep trying! some days we need to ask more of ourselves even when we don’t want to and other days we need to allow ourselves a true rest that offers nothing but peace; some days we make progress, some days are stagnant, some days we regress, and that’s all just...life

sometimes it’s nice to recognize that wow i’m sad today or today is hard for me and allowing yourself to simply have a sad, gentler day to yourself without feeling like things are shit forever - hell, sometimes it’s multiple days or weeks that are off but you gotta know your sun is going to shine again and maybe the off-ness is redirecting you for the best. follow your heart, breathe, take your time when you can and make time when you can, try to persevere without driving yourself up the wall, all the hard work you put in and progress needs to be enjoyed, your life is meant to be enjoyed, it’s okkkaaaayyyyyyyy. tend to your heart and express your heart and embolden yourself with an accepting & firm love - accept all that you are and are not but don’t let yourself believe that you are defined by what you think you lack and that there is no room for you to grow. stand strong in your heart and in your character 

[unproduciblesmackdown]

on that note had also been thinking about the hilarious classic maneuver of taking things i go "smh always doing that weird/wrong" & instead putting it in the context of like oh i dunno my life experiences. like going "smh once again in one millisecond i noticed something was about to fall & just sort of Tensed instead of instantly going to catch it & in the next milliseconds hash out like 'oh but could i catch it. oh but now it's in progress am i too late' etc" but like well hang on. first of all the Tense Up / Brace For Impact approach can have its strengths too. second of all like why just kick myself when Of Course the vastly more frequent & relevant experiences of having to stifle reactions & tense up to Brace For Impact / Weather The Situation means that's the standard approach. sure tends to be the case that like "okay test your reflex time :)" type things when i Know It's Coming, i.e. preemptively Tense Up, i turn out quite slow. throwback to a true classic [my roommate that said my cat was performative while their cat did things out of true emotion] at my doctor's appointment at like age thirteen when the ol Knee Bonk Reflex Test would make me Tense/Seize That Knee Up and Then kick. and then afterwards my "big fan of unprompted criticisms / declarations about your internal experiences or true intentions" mom was like you were faking those reflexes. i'm like well i wasn't. she was like yes you were. consider the camera jimmed

secondly i was also thinking like, always been the case that when Talking, often even if in writing format, i can't really avoid mirroring the characteristics of the other person's Style / Patterns lol. was thinking about it in my Relative ease of adopting pronunciations for different language's phonemes when it's like, i guess i do have experience in Doing Voices not b/c i really often Did Voices (sometimes lol, as like, direct quotes or whatever. echoing....) but b/c like i'll just be picking up all kinds of mannerisms / tendencies / ways of speaking, including accents slightly (my default accent being disney channel) not b/c i'm messing with anyone or trying to do anything, in fact trying Not to do this is generally unsuccessfully & This Is What Happens Naturally & always has & it's like yknow what i think it might have to do with the fact that i don't think Talking in general is oh so "natural" for me / a matter of "just being myself" (things virtually never are lol) like. i think that time i had that friend in second grade where i'm like ummm i'm not sure we spoke the same language b/c i'm not sure we spoke hardly ever? but we had fun & played & amused ourselves etc til the teacher as usual went Biggest Time Sicko Mode on our "not paying attention" like nobody else's got & then didn't give a fuck abt "intervening" again when we didn't feel like we were Allowed(tm) to interact at all. & like i'm pretty sure i'd be "supposed" to feel like omg we don't talk (almost) at all?? that's SO weirrrd i remember that soooo welllll

and when i Do talk most "naturally" / "just being myself" it's all at once, wordy, and Theatrical, and even then. i did it some the other day and was Sweating, literally, less so figuratively but it does still feel demanding, and of course even when it doesn't Feel thusly, doing a Lot a lot of verbalizing can really still be draining to Taxing. and i've noticed better like yeah sometimes i'm markedly struggling to speak when i'm already extra wearied. and another thing i put into context better was like "when i'm being put tf through it why do i tend to cry through interactions. b/c i'm being a PUSSY????" like lol just on principle was like okay well who cares, i'm sure you, by which i mean i, have my reasons b/c so too would i think someone else does, like. and i remember like, i tend to Not "directly" cry of stress or sadness virtually ever. while i Do tend to be simply keeping that shit contained but Exactly When i have to try to speak? is when i happen to start crying. hmm. Hmmmm. talking Always this performance that i may often not be up for. similar to [personal visual style / Look / clothes] like my default is "basic outfit i'd want to wear every day" & my ideal is "i do not want to be perceived" & (this &) everything else is performance / drag to me, Would That that always be on my terms

another banger is my till oh so recently kicking myself like "aah [pathologization time] i'm sooo slow to be at ease / comfortable around people even when they're surely being nice, what a hassle for others" like well it can be viewed as a hassle for me but it's also like, wait, i end up having stayed uncomfortable around people who weren't being That nice by putting in That much [any effort from any Consideration] and often turn out like. ultimately not that Safe. and i look at "oh right yeah and also i sure Can be like instantly quite comfortable / at ease around people, including people i literally just met. so" &/or my not being at ease either is still way less of a deal than having to literally/figuratively sweat it while i'd feel so much more Okay avoiding detection much less interaction

[rodolfoparras]

I was gonna send something earlier today but I have genuinely been so out of it since yesterday and I can't believe it's midnight already smh. Anyways my father left yesterday and the visit went pretty ok for the most part?? I think it's because my uncle was here and I would just go to my room or out with my dog when things started getting out of control. So now I'm just resting and enjoying life again 🫶🏻

I wrote whole like who list of headcanons and thoughts about Simon and I was gonna post it on Saturday night but I fell asleep and I lost my nerve 😔 yet another thing to keep in drafts.

And unrelated but I spent over half an hour today painting tiny spider webs under my eyes as part of my eyeliner look and I was reminded yet again why I don't do it often. Just goth guy struggles smh

-🔮

Sugar I’m glad it all went ok and he’s out of the house again!! Enjoy your rest and take all the time you need to recharge I’m just happy the visit is over🫶🏻

Hello that’s okay sugar! I totally get you because I think I was sitting on my very first price fic for a whole month before I dared post it. Whenever you feel just a wee bit ready, bite the bullet and post it I promise you it’ll be sm easier after 🫶🏻

Oh hello you are skilled to be able to do that sugar!!! But I totally get when something feels tedious but I think we all deserve to pamper ourselves every once a while and put some extra time and care on our appearance or just doing something for ourselves that we enjoy to do

[rintarhoes]

if you were to spend a month in a house with one of your mutuals and you fave character who would it be?

easy. mous & suna. :smh:

[ma3mae]

MAEEE AAAA I NEED PART TWO OD YOUR "NO BRAIN, JUST HORNY" HC AKSJDJDDJ

Make a part two??🥺🫶Maybe Chuuya and Nikolai?

No brain, just horny! 2

Summary: Oh no! Your bf's acting all hot! What to do??? (Chuuya, Akutagawa, Nikolai, Fyodor)

Genre: fluff, crack, bit suggestive 🤓

Warnings: TO HORNY JAIL WITH YALL 💀✋

A/N: ANOONNN WKDJEKHFKS HERE U GO, SWEETIE 🤩🤩🤩 how can yall find rat man hot, idk man 💀 his parts rly short bc I CANT WRITE HIM so see it as a small extra 💀💀 not proofread btw 💀

Part 1

Nakahara Chuuya

😳 yall wanna get railed by this man, huh??

Cant blame u tho 💀😭 😭

honestly i think his reaction would prob depend on his mood, lowkey like rampo

Just that his reaction would be a bit more intense EHEH

idk if hes kinda busy at the moment and annoyed bc work is being a hoe, hed prob be all impatient like "Damn, doll. Im barely holding myself back as well so just wait a bit, will ya?"

As much as hed love to indulge u immediately, he still values his work yk 😔😔😔

ok yk what would be funny tho? Like he told u he'd be having a meeting at his work place and honestly, its not hard enough to know where it is bc its like legit one of the highest buildings (idk maybe even the highest???) in yokohama lmaoo

And you've been waiting for him to come back home after two weeks but noooo, he has to report everything to his boss 🤓🤓🤓🤓

so you're like "alright, im horny and been waiting for too long."Guess where we're going yall 😋😋😋😋???

TO HELL

Jk nah but we makin our way over there and lets just say they only know u as "the love of his life who def shouldnt be messed with if they wanna live" bc he'd go haywire AS HE SHOULD if anything happened to u 💀

Anyway we know when the meeting's being held so oopsie, we "accidentally" manage to find him in the hallway with some of his colleagues

"Oi, isn't that your girlfriend over there, Boss??" not only tachihara but everyone's confused on why u r even there??

Chuuya just whips his head around and doesnt know if he should just yeet himself outta the building or be happy to see you bc

YES

YES HE DID MISS YOU BUT WHY ARE YOU THEREEEE??💀💀💀💀💀💀😭😨

its especially bad if our boy still hasn't told you what hes actually doing bc no way in hell wants he to drag u into that shi 💀

Anyway you're just too excited so u ignore his to tomato face with a twitching eyebrow and you start to jog towards him but damn tf is that???

OF COURSE theres a bump sticking outta the carpet SMH SUE THE CLEANING STAFF😋

And obviously we all know whos gonna trip on that

But as embarassed as he is, your future hubby will make sure that you won't end up on the floor 💕💕

all you feel is a slight gust of wind and you can only open your eyes to see his gorgeous ones

"Don't just fall for me every time you see me, doll." LMAO thats so corny and he actually gets even more red when he realises wtf he just spouted out of his mouth but he couldnt help it 😭

Especially when hes holding you bridal style in his arms and you can feel him subconciously squeeze you tighter against him bc he missed his wifey

and we are just too whipped to stop ourselves from saying "Chuu chuu, i just couldnt wait anymore. Can we move this to our place? I'll be anything you want, even just a hole for you, mkay?"

HAHAHAHA WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS 💀

thats the EXACT question that goes through his mind as he just stares at you like 😳

But he cant deny that it made him feel hot, even down there a bit...

"Come in when you're done, Chuuya." is all you hear from HIS fking boss as he just sends the both of you a smile as he enters the room before closing the door

Help our man, hes so TORN

All he can do is take a deep breath, trying to stop his face from heating up bc its already hot enough as it is

He'll gently set you down but still keeps a secure grip around your waist with one arm

His gloved hand tilts your face slightly up and all you see is a sea of blue

Letting his gloved thumb slowly glide on your bottom lip

"You really like teasing me. Dont'cha sweetheart? Just give me 15 minutes and then we'll be at home. Honestly might scold you for your little stunt but it's not like you don't like that, right? But I gotta say...."

cherry sweet lips lock onto yours for what seems like only a second before feeling them on your forehead

"I did miss you pretty much...and I'll make it up to you. Thanks for your patience, love."

now YOU'RE the one who's face is about to explode and that annoying ass smirk of his isnt even helping u but oh well

He should be lucky that you're so in love with him and that his handsome looks always manage to hold you back from yelling at him out of embarassement 💀😳

He gives you a peck on the lips before giving you on last squeeze

"Only a little bit longer, okay? Will give you a proper kiss when we're at home."

He makes his way back but stops "Also I love you but please... wait at home next time. No need for anyone to see your cute ass here. Only mine to look at, yk.." the last part kinda gets muffled under his breath as he tilts his fedora down to hide his heated face but welp, ofc u heard everything 😋

Anyway, you let him go to his meeting with a wave with ur hand bc he did promise to make it up to you and your body would be tingling with excitement until yall get back home for yk what 😋😋😋💅

Akutagawa Ryunnosuke

ngl he'd make a similar expression to this pic here 💀 like hes fking constipated or smth

Give my man some time pls bc its his first relationship and he needs some minute to get it through his head that you feel sexually attracted enough to him to yearn for him, broo

"Can't you just... wait until we get home? Why now?" SKKSKS you think he sounds so pissed but hes just so confused 💀😭😭

lmao just came up with a ridiculous scenario

idk some random wannabe gang is stirring up some trouble in yokohama

And how do u resolve this problem as fast as u can?

By sending one of ur best men there who legit just slices them all in mere secs 😋

but wait whats that?

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

You just stare wide eyed at your boyfriend as he stands there infront of the mall, choking the living shit out of what seems to be some weird thug

"Ryu, what are you doing here?"

He just clicks his tounge out of annoyance and casually tosses the man to the side as he makes his way towards you

Stopping infront of you, you only see his furrowed eyebrows and the annoyed look on his face

But if you look closely, you'll see a glimpse of worry in them💕

"I could ask you the same thing. Didn't I telll you to stay at home? And specifically to not enter this area?"

You can only sheepishly laugh at his words and the huff at your answer wasnt that helpful

"Well, the mall here had your favorite tea on sale and I really wanted to surprise you with it!"

He just puts a hand on his face as you peek over his shoulder, only seeing whips and bits of rashomon dealing with the thugs while you boyfriend seems somehow unbothered by their presence, hell he was legit not even aknowledging them at this point 💀

"Let me just finish this real quick and then I'll take you home."

"But I still have t-"

A glare from him immediately zipped your mouth shut, deeming it unnecessary to argue with him any further since he could be very very stubborn

"Just stay behind me and wait."

If you had to be honest, watching your bf just casually beat the shit out of 20 or more men without even breaking a sweat made you feel really hot

He might be stoic, blunt or whatever everyone would call him but at the end of the day, he'd make sure you're well protected and cared for, even if it would take some nudges from you to guide him

He was a fast learner after all in every aspect of your relationship

And it wasn't until he poked your forehead that you snapped out of your trance, your face beet red and only for him to raise an eyebrow at you

"Don't tell me you got sick from just being outside for a bit? I really don't know how someone frail like you had managed to live for so long."

Harsh words yet the gentle press of his hand against your forehead was telling a different story

"Hm, you aren't heating up that much. But I'll still be taking you home."

"Can you stay with me then? Because honestly, watching that fight somehow made me really horny."

🤨 > 😳

"Are you kidding me? How does watching me beat the shit out of some random wannabe thugs make you horny?"

You can only groan at his answer but couldn't keep the smirk on your lips from growing as you noticed the red hue on his cheeks

"It's just hot to see how easy it was for you to just casually fend of all of them. Not to mention, that it's always nice to have a reminder what a strong and reliable lover I have. I'm just really lucky, I guess"

Ah, you smart vixen.

Always using his praise kink for your advantage and oh boy, he knows

But he just can't help his rising pulse at what your words just do to him

"W-Why-? Y-You-???"

Suddenly he grabbing your hand, he turns his body away from you, only his back in your sight as he continues to walk

"Ryu, are we walking ba-"

"Told you I'm taking you home. Someone has to make sure nothing happens to you since you probably wouldn't even know how to defend yourself."

"Aah, I see. Well I'll be sure to thank you properly when we're at home." 😋🤩

A hitched breath and his grip tightening around your hand really made it difficult not to laugh at him

Well, atleast it was nice knowing that you weren't the only one eager to get home asap 💀💀

At the end, you thanked him as promised and he made sure to make you feel safe as always

"Oh, thank you for the tea... I guess.." he'd mumble in your ear as he pressed your back against his chest, his arms tucked comfortably around you. 🤭

Nikolai Gogol

erm 😨 how about no?

Do u not value life?

Jk but his goofy ass would NEVER let u rest if u even show him a tiny bit on how horny you are 💀💀💀💀

bro's like "ew human desires, they only bind u" lowkey (not as hard as fyodor but yk what i mean)

but hes sadly down bad for his future or maybe already wifey so 😉 how could he 😉 say no 😉

like idk lets say for whatever reason u r also part of their rat gang 💀 and its honestly a big headache to endure his weird and annoying antics every day

But thats what made u fall in love bc u have bad taste 😋😋😋 same tho

is prob gonna tease u about that too like "Oh, Y/N~ So many men out there and yet you still chose me?? Either you're just very desperate or you just don't care at all! But don't worry, I'm more than happy to be the one who's on your mind all day 🤩🤩🤩" he says as he's casually bombing a whole building and kills hundreds of people 🤩

Thats for sure gonna be blowing ur mind for weeks 💀 IM SORRY

throw him into a trash can or smth 💀 jkjk maybe im not 💀💀

anyway back to the scenario 💀

lets say hes as always acting like the 🤡 he is and disrupting everyone's life by being plain annoying

Ok so fyodor threatened to kill him for the 100th time? Check.

Sigma's crying in his office bc he just escaped random pairs of scissors flying at him for the whole day? Check. someone has to cut that atrocious hair away, okur💀💀💀

Getting hit by gf after randomingly stealing kisses from her?

Che-

"But why won't you let me kiss you, Y/N????"

Dodging his attempts for what would seem the 30th time for the day, you hastily continued to make your way to Sigma, a box of self made cookies in your hand.

"You've been harassing everyone for the entire day as always! And don't get me started on what you tried to do to Sigma!"

You could only hear a whine as fast footsteps tried to outrun yours, you wanting nothing but wanting to somehow lift Sigma's spirits up since no one else would make their time to comfort him after the inhuman pranks your boyfriend couldn't refrain from doing

"But he's just so funny, you know! How could anyone resist not teasing him all day?!"

"Teasing doesn't mean endangering his life! Only because YOU don't like his hair!"

"Hmm, but won't you atleast give me one kiss before you go?"

"nope, never. Bye!"

Aah, you really shouldn't have challenged him 😨

"Well, then I guess you won't be needing that then!"

"Huh?"

A

"NIKOLAI GOGOL?! GIVE ME THE FUCKING BOX BACK!!" only hearing maniacal cackling quickly distancing itself from you, as he ran away with the box in his hand

Ah, he really was blessed with the perfect ability for him

Too stubborn and annoyed to realise his intentions, you quickly followed him, the urge of wanting to punch him pulling you towards him like a magnet

"A chase is what he wants? Okay, he'll get it." 😋😋

Knowing immediately that he made it too easy for the both of you as he nonchalantly laid on your shared bed, crumbs on his cheeks as he enjoyed your cookies, his mask casually laying next to him.

"You are more than an annoying child, you know that?"

"Yep but I don't care! Also how dare you only make cookies for your friend when you've got such a loving partner like me!"

A groan slipped out of you as you walkes over to him, earning yourself a "HEY?!" as you snatched the box away from him

"If you wanted some, you could have just asked like a normal person. I wouldn't have minded sharing some and Sigma probably not."

"Ugh, like a normal person? You know that's just boring~ buuuut if you really want me to then-"

You felt a pull at your wrist, making your chest hitting his as you landed on top of him, affectively stradling him

Both of your hands at the side of his head as you tried to lift yourself up, yet the arm around your waist stopping you, your faces only mere inches away from each other

A smirk splayed on his face as he wiped the crumbs away from his lips with his gloved thumb

Pressing it softly against your lips, the movement ingrained in your body as you opened them without any protest

a low chuckle at your cute actions as you licked the crumbs of his thumb before releasing it with a soft 'pop'

"Is that normal enough for you, my dove?"

Not letting the heat on your face and body stop you from throwing remarks at him, you merely stated "That wasn't asking, just plain seduction at this point."

Letting his eyes trail over your body and the hands next to him, tightly clutching the sheets only spurred him further on.

"Well, I've got your attention now, right?"

"You're lucky that I love you."

"Isn't it good to know we're both obesessed, dearie?"

A whine left his lips as you tucked at his hair at that statement, grazing your teeth across his neck before harshly biting on it.

"Well, then end what you've started then."

"Gladly."

Getting hit by Y/N after randomingly stealing kisses from them? Hair pulled, make out sessions and more after annoying them? Double Check.

Fyodor Dostojevski

💀 im dead, you're dead, we're all DEAD

ok jk he wouldnt kill u bc even if he wont admit it immediately, he loves u 😋

but why would u feed his annoying god complex like that 😨😨

but guess what 😋 youve always had bad taste so why not be together with a terrorist 🤩

Ur only dates would be either sitting in his stinky room full of computers as hes been sitting there for days and you're chilling on his lap

or yall actually go outside to ruin someone's life 💅

and honestly, what better way to confirm that humans r horrible af when he sees you get turned on by his horrid acts 💀💀💀

"I just took a life infront of your very eyes and all you say is how hot that is? Well, aren't you ruined to the point of return? But that's what makes you so interesting, I guess."

UGHH IDK HOW YALL CAN LOVE HIM 💀💀💀

i think it would be rly difficult to actually turn him on as well at first

Or catch him off guard tbh bc all you'd get is a condescending smirk of him just teasing you

He'll prob also just call u out about how horny you are but its ok bc he loves having that effect on you 🤩

"Is it seeing someone's eyes lose their light? Killing the gifted because the world would be purer without them? Tying them up and choking the life out of them? Or is it because I am the one doing these acts? Planning it all out, only for you to witness it? How about I'd do it to you, hmm?"I FEEL ITCHY AFTER WRITING THAT 💀

tbh it depends how "horny" u r tbh bc he'd prob make you beg for it first by just telling u off n stuff until you cant take ir anymore

Like if you want him then SHOW him how much you want him 🤩

he prob has not that much of a stamina but he'd make up for it with technique what am i writing rn😭😭😭😭

anyway you'd def be satisfied but he'd prob make you work for it first before tending to ur "needs"

im crying i hate this

😭

A/N: DAMN already hit 400 followers?? thinking of maybe doing smth for that, idk what tho. Got too many ideas 💀 and lmao sorry for the radio silence 💀 writers block and life, we love it.

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Seijoh

a/n: im a seijoh stan and theyre my little plant babies

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

this is so long oml i hate myself

theyre an actual boy band istg

lets be honest, they probably thought you were just another oikawa fangirl

they thought you just wanted to be closer to their captain bc you were another delusional girl who wanted to live out her fantasies

lmao im not trying to be salty

but when you just stared blankly at oikawa tooru after he called you a beautiful flower,

stageplay hinata calling you a mugwort

the team just about threw themselves on your feet

tbh you werent really there to get a boyfriend or for oikawa

you just needed an after school club and the other teams already had managers

the only sport that didnt was the boys volleyball team

imagine why

you were actually a little wary, since you knew of oikawa, being a first year yourself, and you were aware of his psycho fangirls who could probably kill you

but you needed a club that would last you for the next 3 years to graduate

it was kunimi who actually recommended being a manager

you were in his class and you noticed him sleeping in the morning so you gave him your energy bar

‘thanks’

you shrugged and smiled

thats why he tolerated you more than others

you were nice and you were the only one who noticed his tiredness, even the teacher left him alone, and did something about it

sometimes, you even gave him an energy drink

‘can you tell me why youve been so tired lately? i dont think ive seen you wake up until lunch’

he opened the snack and started munching while replying

‘early morning practice for volleyball is still a big adjustment. our captain demands us to be there 6 in the morning sharp and if we’re even a minute late, we’d have to run laps. like for every minute youre late, you have to run those amount’

oh my why is kunimi talking so much

but i love kunimi and first year seijoh boys rights in this household is valid

you furrowed your eyebrows

‘but yall are still growing and you need all your sleep. if i were there, id yell at your captain’

he grinned slightly, imagining your short height beating up their captain

‘meh. you want to be our manager? i saw you looking at the clubs board yesterday and we dont have one so you could take the opportunity and beat him up then’

ofc you agreed bc kunimi was best boi and you just wanted him to have enough sleep for once

after class, he waited for you to finish packing up and when you finished, yall left the classroom

until another guy with a spiky hairstyle joined you and you noticed him as the guy who sometimes came over to eat lunch with kunimi

‘oh, hello l/n-san’

you smiled gently

‘drop the formalities, kindaichi-kun. its only fair.’

he nodded before walking beside kunimi

‘kindaichi, l/n might be our new manager’

the onion head excitedly looked at you

‘really?! yes! so we dont have to fill our bottles ourselves anymore!’

kunimi glared at him and slapped his stomach

‘shes our manager, not our maid’

you laughed but placed an arm on him

‘its okay. i was a manager for my middle school volleyball team so i know a little bit about being one’

the two shared a look

god, they really hit the jackpot

as yall walked closer to the gym, you noticed the big pile of girls huddling at the corner

kunimi sighed

‘l/n, ill warn you ahead of time of our captain. hes kinda,,,, too much’

but you flashed him a smile

‘hes not the first one ive handled’

oml player-chan!!!

so when you opened the door and entered the gym and oikawa hit you with his normal antics, you just stared at him

‘okay and?’

hanamaki and mattsun howled before rushing to you and grabbing you in a hug

‘girls like her really exist!!’

you gave kunimi and kindaichi a signal of help and they nodded before gently prying the senpais off of you

‘senpai, please’

you gave kunimi a grateful nod

coach irihata went up to you bc wow, kunimi has a friend with of another gender?

‘how can we help you, miss?’

‘im l/n y/n, first year, and id like to apply as the manager’

internally, the coach sighed bc you werent the first one to apply

the reason they havent had a manager for years was bc of oikawa’s fangirls hiding themselves under that false facade

but he saw you brush off that comment oikawa make with no hint of fluster or blush on your face so he decides to give you a trial run, in guise of seeing if you could handle these chaotic boys

‘do you have any experience as manager? or do we need to teach you the ropes?’

‘i was a manager for 3 years in my middle school volleyball’

he nodded

‘ill give you one month. a trial run of a month to test the waters’

you agreed and your trial run began

kunimi mentioned that morning practice starts at 6 am sharp so you set your alarm for 5 to get ready and get to school on time before the boys

you remembered how to set up the nets so you quickly put them out (using a step stool bc we short) and ran to get the basket of balls

their water bottles were filled and you were in the middle of lugging the big basket of towels when the third years entered

the 4 of them usually came earlier than the rest so they saw you dragging the basket of fresh towels and wipe your sweat before smiling at the work youve done

iwa was so happy bc it was usually him who did this stuff and now that he had someone do it for him, it was like a god-send

oikawa’s eyes shone and he waved at you

‘yohoo, y/n-chan!’

you cringed at the loud voice of the famous oikawa tooru

‘hello, oikawa-san’

he chuckled at your politeness before hugging you

‘you did all this for us? youre so cute, y/n-chan!’

instead of the normal blush and love-struck eyes, you were actually very uncomfortable of the sudden skinship and you quickly ran to the side when iwa hit him at the head

‘shittykawa! leave her alone!’

‘iwa-chan!’

makki and mattsun stood next to you as the boys did their usual fight

‘is this all an act or are you really not attracted to oikawa?’

mattsun shot him a surprised look bc why was he so straightforward

but you just shrugged

‘hes cute, i admit. but ive seen much cuter and the boys in my middle school team was basically full of him so,,, and i hate guys who think theyre all that just bc theyre blessed w a pretty face. if anything, ill probably go for iwaizumi-san’

pop off S I S T E R!!!

you just won the heart of these two

slowly but surely, they all came to accept you and iwa straight out loves you bc you maintained this routine for the whole month of your trial run

and you still remained indifferent of oikawa’s advances and he was even impressed and slightly agitated that you werent paying attention to him

‘y/n-chan, one date! just one!’

you huffed before looking up from your clipboard

‘i like men, oikawa-san. not boys’

that comment made the guys shriek

‘y/n-chan! youre just a first year! you dont need a man!’

‘youre not a man, oikawa!’

you left oikawa to be tormented by his teammates and went to go and hand over the report to the coach

he was impressed by the notes you made bc they were ones he even missed

like the split-second of hesitation that kindaichi usually has that goes unnoticed but you immediately saw

or the wince oikawa has whenever he so much as jumps an inch

you could even tell the difference between iwa’s spike and if he was being easy or he was going full-out

this added on to the fact that the boys loved you and irihata actually saw kunimi try more 

but he thinks its only to earn your praises

‘y/n, youre officially the team manager’

yall celebrated at the normal hang-out spot which was the ramen shop and it truly shocked you at how much these boys ate

granted, this was the first time you ate together but you didnt expect them to eat nearly 5 bowls each

you could only finish 2 and you already feel like throwing up

‘honestly, how do you guys not gain weight after this?’

the table you sat at, iwa, kindaichi, mattsun, and kunimi, looked at you and shrugged

‘i work out’

‘i run’

‘i fast’

‘i poop it out’

lmao im sorry i cackled too hard at this

you stared blankly at mattsun’s answer who said it so seriously that you snorted a laugh

they watched you and your laughter bc you havent really expressed yourself as much 

so they made it their goal to see you laugh more

‘y/n-chan! you need to eat more!’

oikawa shouted, clearly food drunk, but you shook your head aggressively

‘i only planned to eat one bowl but he just had to shove another down my throat’

‘but you need to grow, y/n-chan!’

‘i want to grow taller! not wider!!’

As a manager:

oh boy

you basically grew into kinda their mom

‘oikawa-san! you need to rest your knee or youre going to hurt yourself! i will drag you home myself!’

‘kunimi, if you try to get this one more spike, i’ll buy you a bag of those caramel bites you like’

‘iwa-san! if you hit oikawa-san too much, youll destroy the little braincells he has!’

‘yahaba-san, nice dump!’

‘is your knee okay, watari-san?’

yall really forget that watari and yahaba exist sometimes smh

it was part of the work

keeping up with seijoh

so to keep them encouraged, you gave them praises that they always demand for and they always turn to you whenever they did something good

mattsun gives you a look whenever he blocks iwa’s spikes and you give kindaichi a head pat whenever he blocks some too

bc of how you are with them, sometimes, they forget that you are actually just a first year

they get shocked whenever you walk in with kunimi and kindaichi and talk about the current homework bc it slips their mind that their hard-working manager was actually just a 15-year-old girl

so, they try to ease the burden whenever they can

like iwa offering to help you whenever you have to take their jerseys to the laundrymat

or offering to help you with your assignments since theyve only been through it once

more like watari, yahaba, and iwa bc the matsuhana are clueless and acts like they completely skipped that grade

also

!!!!

oikawa’s fangirls ltr dont leave you alone!!!

now, its known that youre the manager of the volleyball team bc oikawa has boasted about your efforts and such

this obvs ticked off a bunch of girls bc they were jealous that you got to spend more time in a single practice with their precious oikawa-senpai than they have their entire lives

more than once theyve cornered you to threaten you to stay away from their senpai or youll have something coming for you

you never take them seriously bc you can fight too and you just give them a look and push them away

but this one time

TRIGGER WARNING-START

okay tea

the self-proclaimed president of the oikawa tooru fanclub, kenta miyo, cornered you at the bathroom with her other minions

you were just washing your hands and drying them off when she marched up to you and grabbed your hair before tugging it back

obviously you were surprised and shouted

‘oi! what the hell?!’

‘you slut! you need to stay away from my tooru, got it?!’

ehm what

you hissed and wrenched her arm from your hair and pushed her away

your hair was now a mess and you were fuming, already sick and tired of the torture these girls put you through

‘he belongs to himself, not you! so stop being delusional and leave me alone already!’

she signalled for the girls to hold on to you which you slapped away but they forcefully grabbed your arm while you kicked at them and struggle to get out of their hold

jesus what do these girls eat

miyo watches you struggle with a smile and cackles

‘oh? no fight anymore, little kouhai?’

you glared at her

‘i dont want to beat yall up bc id get yelled at by tooru so you need to let me go or regret it’

at the mention of his first name, her eyes widened and her face twisted and she slapped you

‘oi! respect your senpai, you brat! dont you ever say oikawa’s first name!’

your lips curled

‘oh? thats funny, because he actually told me to call him that since he wants his cute little manager to be very comfortable with him’

you achieved a feat that she has been working to get her entire high school life and miyo was not happy

‘ive been with him for 3 years and you just suddenly show up out of nowhere and call him that?! i dont think so!’

she had her hands around your neck and you gripped her arms, making her wince

but you laughed at that comment

‘heh, thats pathetic, isn’t it? here you are, my senpai, who has been vying for his attention for 3 years only to be ignored yet a mere first year, who shows up out of nowhere, has been asked to a date nearly a million times every day. that must be tough’

she shrieked at that comment and threw you on the floor, making you accidentally hit your head at the edge of the sink

yall im actually so bothered by this scene and im wincing as im typing

you bit your lip to prevent any sound of pain to escape bc you knew thats what she wanted to hear from you

but you werent going to give her the satisfaction

instead, you looked up at her, hatred swirling in your eyes

‘youre freaking psycho, you know that? once tooru and hajime knows about this, theyre going to give you hell. they wont ever let this go bc im the manager of their prized team and their little baby sister. so go ahead, do what you want with me. bc i paid too much for these nails to be tainted by dirt like you’

saiyo, a girl you noticed to be watari’s classmate when you went and visited him, nervously tugged on miyo’s jacket

‘miyo, we should go-’

‘SHES BLUFFING. AND HERE, SINCE YOUR SOCCERFIELD FOREHEAD IS BLEEDING, LET ME HELP WASH IT OUT’

and she poured over a carton of banana milk over you, making you wince at the sticky and cold liquid

the tough facade was crumbling and you were now screaming for help in your head, hoping that stupid theory from yahaba about team telepathy to work

but it didnt

TRIGGER WARNING-END

when miyo and her girls left, you sat on the floor, soaked and sticky and bleeding

then you begin to cry angry tears

you were angry that you were being treated like this just bc you were a manager

you were angry that you let them do that to you

you were angry that you prized your nails more than punching her square in the nose

you were just angry

periodt

staggering on your own feet, you stood up and leaned on the sink, eyes widening at the dripping red liquid from the gash on your forehead, staining the porcelain sink

you were stupid and unconsciously touched it making you wince 

‘shit, that hurts’

you whined quietly

there was little you can do with toilet paper and water to clean yourself up but you managed to at least stop the bleeding

you knew you had to be put on concussion protocol just in case bc you that hit was quite hard but at the moment, that wasnt your concern

practice has already started and this was the first time you werent present for daily practice

this was confirmed at the constant buzzing of your phone in your skirt pocket which you didnt listen to and instead, started thinking of ways to go to your locker and get your stuff and fake being sick but at the same time, not be seen and relayed to the team

time was ticking and you had to come up with a plan fast before oikawa will send the team to come looking around the building for you

once you looked at your reflection and smiled big, you decided it was enough to not show the pain you were in right now

girl im hurting for you

you peeked out of the bathroom door and saw the coast was clear so you quickly ran to your classroom, which was thankfully empty, and quickly grabbed your things

but as you were packing up, the tears just kept falling

it didnt stop as you bolted down the stairs, using your cardigan to hide your face from the public

once you were safely out of school grounds, you finally took out your phone and reviewed through all the worried and concerned texts from the team group chat

but you just replied, ‘im fine but i just feel really sick right now. girl stuff’

you smirked, knowing that would keep the boys away

but oikawa had to go and ask you to call him

‘y/n-chan! do you want oikawa-senpai to come over with chocolates and ice cream?! wings or no wings?!’

your jaw dropped at the question and clearly scandalized by the question

the team was too as shouting began and you could faintly hear iwa scream, ‘oh my god, shittykawa!’

‘im seriously okay, oikawa-san. i just need to be alone right now and ill try and get some sleep. good bye’

then you hung up

there was no way you could tell them

they were in their last year anyways so doing something about it wouldnt matter

and you were strong 

but apparently not strong enough to fight them off though

you would cover the wound with concealer and continue on with practice tomorrow as if everything was normal

but there was only so much you could take

just yesterday, they trashed your locker and a week ago, they took your bento and threw it away

you even got into a fight with this one girl but she scampered away, too scared to do anything alone

so you were actually just tired and want everyone to leave you alone

believe me, youve thought of quitting sometimes

but youve actually created a bond with these boys

like when you take hanamaki to get cream puffs whenever he loses against iwa in arm wrestling

or when yahaba calls you at ungodly hours to express his worries for next year and to fill oikawa’s shoes

it was simple moments that you shared with each player that kept you from not leaving

soon, you found yourself crying again and the looks pedestrians were giving you was starting to make you uncomfortable

a girl, with her gross hair in a bun, puffy eyes with a bleeding wound and walking down the street

that was a sight

so you cut a corner to an alley by your house to escape from the judging eyes and you were too busy wiping your eyes to see a boy who was crouched down on the floor and ended up walking over him

omg my baby kyoken hello luv!!!!

you gasped and you were surprised and quickly apologized

kyotani was originally about to yell at you, no matter what, but he saw the state you were in and concluded you were either from a fight or was beaten up

he recognized that and decided to just glare at you and go back to feeding the stray dogs and cats

you breathed a sigh in relief when he didnt yell at you bc that wouldve been the last thing you needed today

‘sir, im sorry for hitting you. if there is something i could do for you, dont hesitate’

he ignored you and you focused on him paying attention to the strays

going into your backpack, you had a milk carton and a sausage stick from earlier

you used your thermos lid to serve as the milk bowl for the cats while you peeled open the meat and used your scissors to cut chunks of it for the dogs to have some

kyotani watched as you went into action to feeding the animals that people usually ignored

he knew you

well, he recognized you

when he watched from the top of the gym, he saw you as their manager who ran around and helped everyone

sure, he still didnt trust you 

but he watched you grin and smile as the animals started to eat

‘im in a hurry right now so i have to go but ill feed you again tomorrow, okay? you too, stranger-san. ill bring food for you too’

then you stood up and ran away, probably in a hurry to fix that wound

he wouldve offered to treat it for you but he remained silent, watching the cats mewl at the now empty lid

the next day, oikawa was worried for you and when he saw you at early morning practice, he practically glomped to your side

‘y/n-chan! you okay?! oikawa-senpai was so worried for you!’

you cringed but nodded

‘im okay, oikawa-san’

‘senpai, y/n-chan! call me senpai!’

‘im not going to feed into your kink, oikawa-san’

*cue everyone busting a lung*

to this day, no one still knew what happened to you

you kept it quiet and you were sure you got everything handled

except for one person

kyotani was smart and for some reason he knew you got beat up by the fangirls and the perpetrators were easily found bc he saw them huddled around your locker, probably trashing it again, and lets just say, 

no one is def going to mess w you now

back to manager moments!!

during practice matches, the boys rally around you to prevent other teams from sweet-talking you

they make sure no one gets past them and always have excuses to get your attention

you knew what they were doing but you pretended not to, heart warming at their protectiveness and hunger for your attention

even though you have your own jacket, the team gives you theirs all the time like oikawa has his special team jacket w his name at the back and when he feels threatened by schools like johzenji, he makes you wear it

‘youre mine, y/n-chan and i want that blondie to know’

‘ehm, no, oikawa-san. im iwaizumi-san’s’

oikawa screamed

lmao training camps w them is CHAOTIC

YOU WANT TO CRYYYYYY

OIKAWA IS CRYING BC IWAIZUMI IS BEATING HIM UP, MATSUHANA ARE FREAKING OUT THE FIRST YEARS ABOUT THE GHOSTS IN THE WOODS AND NOW KINDAICHI REFUSES TO LET GO OF YOU, WATARI GOT LOST GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND YAHABA IS SCREAMING ABOUT THE WEATHER MESSING UP HIS HAIR AND MAKING IT FRIZZY

reminder: threaten to quit everytime they get too much

your hugs are the best!!!!

you have a special hug for every player

oikawa gets his favorite which was the normal arm around the waist with your arms around his neck while he snuggles in your neck

iwa gets flustered easily so you hug him from behind so you cant see his flustered look

mattsun actually likes the jumping in the air so he catches you type of hug

makki is more tame and has his arms around your shoulder with his chin on your head

yahaba is the twirly kind where he just picks you up and swings you around

watari also gets flustered easily so he likes the one-arm hugs

kindaichi gets blushy at the slightest touch from you but he gives you a hug from behind you himself where he can bury his face in your hair while you caress his arms

kunimi, now he likes it when you squeeze him extremely tight bc it makes him feel loved and feel alive

kyo doesnt even talk to you what makes you think you can give him a hug

their lost for shiratorizawa really broke them though

you made them their own bentos for nearly a week to keep them encouraged and gave oikawa extra attention to keep him from sulking or practicing late

‘oikawa-senpai, lets go watch that new movie later’

‘S-S-SENPAI?!’

then the arrival of our baby kyoken

yahaba was moody the whole practice and you were currently trying to keep him from spiking a ball to someone

‘even just today, he’s late’

‘who?’

‘that stupid dog’

he just keeps mumbling and grunting

and then the said dog arrived

you peaked out from behind iwaizumi, who protectively went in front of you

shock ran through you and you pointed at him

‘puppy-kun!’

lmao puppy what

youve called him that since he refused to tell you his name, but you call him that bc he paid special attention to this one baby beagle

he raised a hand in greeting and you gave him a smile

‘youre a player here, too?!’

he ‘glared’ at you but nodded stiffly

the team really thought that he would lash out at you but he is surprisingly tolerant

the power of the manager

he still hasnt talked to you but he does respond to you and even helps you with chores, still not talking ofc

hes so tsun tsun and he deserves my heart yall

however, youve heard him talk to iwaizumi, and iwaizumi only, so youve heard his voice before

ngl, you were flustered by how gruff and deep it was

then their loss to karasuno

bruh, it was KARASUNO

the entire team fell apart and after the match, each of them ran away from you to stop lashing out

you were also on the verge of crying, seeing the broken look on your third years

your precious third years

you decided to give them their own space but you heard a loud banging sound from the bathroom

yahaba and watari were outside, clearly trying to talk to someone in there on coming out but it got louder

okay you were lowkey like, ‘hm, i should not be here’

but you recognized that voice

you knocked at the boys door to be respectful

‘kyo-san? its me, y/n’

he was silent but he did unlock it

you took this as a sign to enter and you gave yahaba and watari a smile

‘i’ll be fine. go to kindaichi and kunimi. they need your comfort right now’

tbh, you were surprised the bathroom was still intact but you saw the stall door at the very end being rattled and shaken

you remained by the door but you wanted to go to him

‘kyo-san, please come out so i can treat your injuries’

he expected you to say those words like ‘its okay’ or ‘theres always next year�� but you didnt

instead, you knew he was hurt and wanted to help him

he continued to give a few punches to the wall and the door before emerging

you wordlessly treated the wounds and offered your hand

‘im here, kyo-san. dont worry, im right here’

at the ramen shop, you told them to eat as much as they want and wordlessly gave them your card, slightly crying inside bc you know this was going to be like over a hundred dollars

but you were treating the boys bc they deserved it

you sat beside kindaichi, who was just sobbing and apologizing, so you were wiping his tears and holding his hand under the table

this precious babie

bruh i was sobbing when i watched this part like uuggghhhh

after dinner, you walked with the other third years, knowing they would go to the gym, so you gave everyone else your special hugs before sending them home

‘text me when you arrive safely, okay?’

‘yes, mom’

‘KINDAICHI WHAT’

oikawa’s speech made you cry bc despite only knowing them for not even a year, you already feel like a family

you didnt want your family to be broken but you knew they would all go their separate ways eventually

there was a big hug pile of third years on the side where you took a picture and sent it to the group chat

you had to eventually go home after helping them clean up and when you checked your phone, a fresh batch of tears rolled down

each from every person on the team but with the same sentence and same words

‘we love you, l/n y/n. thanks for everything.’

ngl i dont think this was that good and its like 8 in the morning and im extremely tired

i want to do karasuno, nekoma, and fukurodani but im so exhausted i cannot right now

[leejungchans]

— juliet on kingdom (episode 7).

juliet’s masterlist

from may 13’s episode

note: read the tweets from the bottom up 💕 keep in mind that this contains spoilers in case you want to watch the episode first :3 more under the cut bc this gets LONG ahjdhwjd 😔

— juliet’s outfit;

disclaimer: the blurring of faces in my outfit collages is in no way meant as a form of disrespect, the sole purpose is to put the focus on the hairstyle and there is absolutely no ill intent. thank you for understanding!!

so everyone really kinda freaked out last episode

bc they didn’t see juliet in the previews for the unit stages

she wasn’t with jongho, eunkwang and seungmin

nor was she with 3racha and joong

so that would leave the performance unit right??

atinys were desperately zooming into screenshots of the performance unit stage for any sign of our girl

and found nothing :(

even in the preview that came after the first one, she was nowhere to be seen 😔

eventually some people started theorising if it was bc mnet didn’t let her participate for whatever reason

and the truth is...drumroll please 🥁

SURPRISE

the boys sent her to be in the rap unit with joong 😋😋

mnet just didn’t show her scenes in the first two previews (like they did with minhyuk)

but she was in the previews where they went to jyp 🥺🥺

she was paired up with jisung for the 120-second interview :3

just two shy besties uwu

“why? why are you laughing?” jisung whines, “and right after you looked at my face too!”

juliet continues to laugh, hiding the lower half of her face behind her hands. “sorry, sorry, i’m not laughing at you, i promise!” she says between giggles, “i just didn’t expect us to be so nervous.”

“ah, i get shy around new people, more than what people would expect. so that’s kinda why i’m a bit awkward right now.”

“i’m like that too, but i thought we became closer friends during the sports day filming! i’m hurt!” she says, placing a hand over her heart.

“no, no, no!” jisung defends, waving his hands frantically, “we did! i’m still shy, i guess.”

“not shy, not me!” juliet sings in response, doing the hand movement in the choreography of itzy’s song.

stunned into silence by the sudden reference of his label-mates, jisung blinks at her owlishly before a loud ‘pft’ sound emits from both of them, and they dissolve into giggles once more.

“okay, okay,” she says, sobering up a little after a few seconds. “we need to do this seriously. no more being awkward! awkward is just a mindset.”

jisung’s eyes widen. “woah, you’re right. we won’t feel awkward if we just tell ourselves that we’re being cool.”

she nods approvingly. “exactly. we are cool.”

“okay then, let’s go!” he shouts enthusiastically, earning muffled snickers from the other members who are sitting off-screen.

juliet and jisung go quiet again from his outburst. she even tried to bite the inside of her cheek to stifle any laughter, but her efforts are futile as they both promptly collapse to the ground in a fit of giggles.

“i-i don’t think we can do this,” juliet wheezes to the cameras, clutching her stomach as tears gather in the corners of her eyes. beside her, jisung isn’t faring any better as he attempts to catch his breath.

off-screen, changbin playfully complains, “yah! what are you two doing? you’re supposed to be doing an interview!”

when she entered the jyp café with joong and minhyuk 3racha was like omg hiiiiiii

no one was happier than chan to see her 🥺

AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI OI OI

3racha made her, joong and minhyuk sing their orders 💀💀

minhyuk: juliet your ears are so red lmao

juliet: [quickly untucks her hair so it covers her ears] do i really have to do this? 😭😭

chan: yes you do bestie 🤩

“[sighs] americanoooo~ joha joha~”

hongjoong: [cringes but also uwu bc she’s his baby]

3racha: kqjejwjdnsj awwww

minhyuk: ohhhhh~ cuteeee

smh juliet stop (unintentionally) collecting men 😔

okay but changbin treated them all with his jyp artist points 🥺🥺🥺 changbin best boy

juliet, to chan: i’ll come next time to use up your points 😼

minhyuk: me too!! juliet let’s go together!!!

yeah she malfunctioned for a second bc The™️ lee minhyuk just said that and he was her celebrity crush for the longest time pls

she is the most successful melody 😔

she was so excited when they all went to chan’s studio

“ohhhHhh so this is the famous chan’s room 😼 honoured to be here mate”

pls they named themselves 6racha and were literally just having a blast in the studio 😭😭😭

minhyuk: your voice sounds so different when you rap!!

juliet: really? 😅😅 i didn’t really notice

minhyuk: yeah it’s cool :]

okay but when they went to jypbob for lunch

she was so amazed by all the food

“😮😮😮 THIS ALL LOOKS SO GOOD WTF”

the Jeekies™️ making their debut on national tv

yes both jisung’s and juliet’s 🥰🥰

she was so shy when the others in mayfly came to watch rap unit’s rehearsal 😭😭😭

also everyone in the mayfly vocal and dance units went ❓❓❓ where is juliet????? shouldn’t she be here??????

felix: where’s my bestie :(

no lixliet for the unit stages 💔

wooyoung/jongho: oh she’s in the rap unit :D

“WDYM SHE’S IN THE RAP UNIT??????”

okay but as much of a power move this is, she was also so so so nervous

like, the most nervous she’s ever been on kingdom

bc she’s going to be performing with so many incredible rappers, juliet knows that she really has to give it her all to keep up with them

so she was Big Stressed™️ and not in a fun way

it was more of a “oh god what if i’m way too far behind and the difference in skill is so obvious that i cost our groups points????” way

but in true queen fashion, she definitely killed it during rehearsals and everyone in the unit reassured her that she had nothing to worry about 🥺🥺

move over round 2 juliet bc if you thought that was the last we’d see of rapper juliet, you have a big storm coming 😼😼

she rapped with hongjoong before he joined changbin, then rejoined the performance to rap with chan!!

aussie line stans are well fed ✨✨

girlie was collecting everyone in the audience 😼

pls but ateez was so proud of her bc they knew how stressed she was about this performance 😭😭😭

she was so relieved when mayfly won that she teared up before being pulled into the group hug :(((

“i’m so relieved by the results,” juliet says to the cameras during their backstage interview, the other members in the rap unit nodding in agreement. “we all had a lot of fun preparing for this performance, and i’m just really proud of us.”

“wait,” minhyuk says, tone laced with concern, “are you tearing up? why? we did well!”

hongjoong, sitting in the back row, reaches forward to pat juliet on the shoulder comfortingly as she goes silent to suppress the tears. “she was really stressed preparing for this performance, so she’s a bit overwhelmed right now,” he explains for her.

juliet inhales deeply before saying, “because our unit has so many great rappers, i felt burdened because i was scared that my rapping wouldn’t be up to par with everyone else’s. but everyone was so encouraging and kind, and it really helped me push through the pressure, so i’m very thankful.”

“ey, you did so well,” jisung says enthusiastically. “we never worried about your performance!”

now that their rap unit finished performing she could sit back and enjoy the other performances!!

she was mesmerised by it’s one’s dance unit bc their performance was so beautiful

she said :OOOOOO

then came mayfly’s dance unit!!!!

“MAYFLY LET’S GOOOOOOOO”

pls she was their biggest hypewoman 😭😭😭😭

literally screamed during san and felix’s part

then when wooyoung and felix did the stunt????

she lost her SHIT

the way mnet cut from chan’s worried “felix?” to juliet’s “FELIXXXXXX :D” 😭

“YEAHHHHHHHHH MAYFLYYYYY!!!!”

pls she was so so proud 😭😭😭😭😭😭

in conclusion mayfly are besties now ❤️❤️

— fan reactions;

a/n: hello is everyone okay because I AM NOT 💔💔 all the stages from today were so so good and i’m so proud of all the units 🤧🤧💗 i NEED the studio versions of all the songs from today <//3 (and from round 2 too 😭) also lemme know if you’d like to see the full version of jisung and juliet’s 120 sec interview!! 😋 (though i’m prolly gonna write it anyways whdjwhs) your feedback and support means a lot to me so tysm!! 🥺❤️

[bewareof12metersfrogs]

Warning: long rant. Probably messed up grammar. Not LXC-friendly.

So Pinterest gave me this:

And I was like

Ah yes, Lan Xichen.

I mean, I love that guy, but oh gosh that man is BLIND. Like, man's so blind Xue Yang could use him to slaughter people.

(I'm so sorry for that joke)

I really loved him when I first read the book, esp pre-Nightless City, but then I read it for the second (and third) time and that love turned into "uhh, I guess I kinda like him?"

I mean, in Sunshot Campaign arc, NMJ just got freaking tortured. He just got beaten, made to watch his men die, and his former deputy "betrayed" him -- and then LXC was just like, "oh da-ge CALM down, this is all part of OUR plan, A-Yao's our spy lol put Baxia away don't shout at him smh"

Why didn't LXC say to NMJ that the whole thing had been orchestrated? Okay, I get it, maybe he couldn't risk JGY getting caught, but couldn't he just tell NMJ, "hey, this is the plan. You're gonna get caught at Yangquan by WRH and our spy will take care of the rest of it" ? I'm pretty sure NMJ was angrier about his men getting slaughtered than himself getting beaten. NMJ is kinda like WWX; they were both idiots, but they cared about their people. Pretty sure he cared more about his men than himself. If he knew about the "plan", he'd most likely bring the disciples who were ready to die.

THEN LXC just went to NMJ like, "Hey let's be sworn brothers!". Xichen, dude, his wounds aren't even healed. I mean, it's a bit insensitive right?? I think it is. The whole sworn-brotherhood-right-after-shunshot-campaign thing still bothers me. To me, it seems like no one cared about NMJ. I mean, he was the leader of SC, people used his skills, his men, his everything, and then he was just, like, casted aside?? Pretty sure man's got PTSD. Also, qi deviation. Oh gosh I forgot about qi deviation.

Anyway, yeah, LXC was blind throughout the novel. I won't talk about the scene where Wangxian tried to tell him that A-Yao = bad, but I will talk about the scene where NHS decided to "use" his er-ge to kill his san-ge. Was it intentional? Perhaps. Was NHS lying? Maybe. Was it bad? Absolutely. Was it expected? Of course.

Let's put ourselves in NHS' shoes for a second. Your big bro, who is also the one who raised you and the only family you have left, died. People are quacking "oh it's the Nie curse, and isn't it such a tragedy?" BUT NO! One day you be minding your own business and then BAM you found out that da-ge'd been murdered and mutilated AND betrayed. So you started scheming for like a decade. Everything was going great, as great as a 10 years revenge plan could ever be. You just gotta wait for a few more hours, you just gotta listen to your nemesis' retelling his sad background story, you just gotta endure the pain of seeing your dead big bro wrecking havoc, and you'd have your revenge.

Then of course your er-ge, your big bro's best friend, gotta help your big bro's killer. He just gotta treat his wounds, huh? Pretty sure NHS was unstable. He was desperate and maybe even full of wrath. I understand that, at least, the same way I understand that maybe LXC tried to treat JGY's wounds because he still saw him as his brother -- he didn't want to lose another brother. But how about NHS? He was watching the man whom he thought was his brother treating the man who betrayed and murdered his actual brother. NHS was being a dick, yeah, but it was expected.

Think about this for a second. NMJ's corpse was still right there (and gosh, NHS had to sew his big bro's corpse by himself). NHS was RIGHT there, and LXC had the audacity to tend to JGY's wounds after the man himself admitted to his crimes. I think it's understandable if NHS felt at least insulted.

Also, he was perhaps sick of people not thinking that his big brother was as important as other people, that he was also a human being instead of just a war machine or even a mere tool that can be casted aside whenever they want to. Why did his brother have to die because of other people's greed and selfish decisions? Why did he have to lose the only family he had left forever and why did he have to just sit back and accept it?

Most importantly, LXC had been too blind for more than a decade too long.

Also, the bit about "You're Wangji's only mistake":

Bruh.

If WWX is LWJ's only mistake, then (trusting) LXC is NMJ's only mistake. I mean, sure, WWX is as dumb and oblivious as a rock, but can you really blame him?? HE WAS TRYING TO KEEP HIMSELF, HIS FAMILY, AND THE WEN REMNANTS ALIVE, DUDE'S GOT NO TIME TO THINK ABOUT FKING ROMANCE.

Sorry, I got carried away.

Anyway, are we just gonna ignore the fact that LWJ had been acting like he hated WWX since, like, the first time they met?? I mean, I really love LWJ, but his only mistake is his communication skills (or lack thereof).

But LWJ never gave up on WWX. He learned to express himself way better. Man's got dedication and he's not afraid to learn. I really love that about him.

Also, I understand that LXC was angry because LWJ took beatings to protect WWX, but I don't think he had the right to blame WWX for that. Yes, I know WWX did plenty of things wrong; he was extremely reckless and untrusting, but he never asked LWJ to protect him. LWJ did everything voluntarily. Ffs Xichen WWX didn't even know that LWJ did that. You know why? CAUSE HE WAS FKING DYING THAT'S WHY.

TLDR: LWJ was a grown ass man.

Okay. So, do I hate LXC? No. But do I find him flawed? Yes. But that's why I like MXTX's characters, including WRH, JGY, and LXC (the only exception are perhaps JGS and MXY's fam, and I think we all know why). They all have flaws. For me, LXC is too naive and blind, JGY is too power-hungry and selfish, and NMJ is too stubborn and unyielding. NHS? Well, he's a lot of things. He's manipulative, unsympathetic, and IMO he's got a problem with obsession too. He and JGY are alike, in my opinion. The main difference is their goals: JGY seeks power, NHS seeks revenge.

Everyone has flaws. LWJ and WWX have flaws too; they're EXTREMELY flawed. Heck, even our lord and saviour Shijie also has flaws, as much as it hurts me to type that.

Then why do I get so worked up about LXC's flaws? Honestly I don't really know. Maybe it's because I'm tired of (almost) the entirety of fandom treating him like a god, maybe because I'm tired of people who treat NHS like the devil himself, or maybe because I'm disappointed in him. I mean, JGY's our main villain, but I still love him so much. Heck, I love him even more than I love LXC. Bruh, nowadays I even like WRH more. At least that guy is downright evil and he looks cool while doing whatever evil things WRH does (I'm talking about the novel and donghua mmkay).

Anyway, this is the end of my rant. I apologise if I'm offending you, this is just something that's been bothering me since the first time I re-read MDZS. This whole thing is like a plot bunny but instead of a "plot", the bunny is shaped like a "rant". This is a rant bunny. I need to get this outta my head. I've edited this thing like four times already because I keep finding errors and stuffs. I also added like two new paragraphs.

I'm sad now.

[faithinlouisfuture]

hello!

i'm the 🦹🏽 anon's sister. its only been a month or two I suppose, but it's just honestly so fun and endearing to watch people have the same interests as u and having a safe space to discuss and thirst over him.

i love being a louie😊! and louis is just so 🥵 i dont know how I survived without him for so many years smh. now I miss him every second of my life.

the day I started watching the livestreams was the day he decided to surprise us by singing change(s). and I like to consider myself as the louie lucky charm(jk!)

Louis with a baby just made me wanna bawl😭. i was deffo not jealous of a baby

anyways i'm always gonna be thankful to 🦹🏽 for introducing me to the most handsome, charming, funny, loving, caring, sassiest man on earth.

Hello relatively new louie <3 welcome welcome!!! We absolutely love that there’s more and more of us every single day! Such is the charm and magnetism and talent of our babie 🥲

I’m so so glad that 🦹🏽 introduced you to Louis’ art, and I love that it resonated with you and you’ve become a full blown louie in just two months. He has that crazy special power where once you’re invested, that’s that. You’re done for, you’re not going anywhere. And I love that for him! His music, his lyrics, his artistry is what pulls you in and his charm, authenticity and personality is what keeps you hooked. Also helps that’s he’s the most gorgeous human to walk the planet, let’s not kid ourselves 😉

Speaking of kid! OMGGGGG the video with the baby girl is like CRACK! I can’t get enough of it. It simultaneously turns me into mush and sets my whole being on fire. I will never be moving on thank you very much.

I know you and 🦹🏽 have been enjoying the latam leg! I’m very jealous you get to do that together. Can’t wait for the upcoming Lima show!!! I just know it’s going to be crazy good. Peruvian louies are amazing!

As a new louie what’s your favorite track and why? I’m always curious to know!

[hiimsociallyawkward]

aithusia

hi bestie @lady-ofmagic-andstars it's been a while. i said i would do this episode last week but i had to wait for the destiny and chicken podcast to come out so here we are. basically, all of my thoughts while watching aithusia.

ugh the opening scene. i actually love it

ok ngl i remember that this guy is the bad guy but he's like 🥵🥵🥵 jeez

ik it's not just on tiktok but that tiktok where it goes 'but momma i'm in love with a criminal'

wow nice key bud

ok him running in the forest is just like you cannot outrun your demons and i thought that was so funny

smh he's so violent but he's so pretty :,)

ok but how old is this guy?? he say it's taken 20 years of his life. why 20? is that because that's when the 'last' dragon died out?? and at what age was he socially concious enough to recognize the implication of what it means to have a dragon? his is so dumb but probably like 15? so this guy is 35ish? idk man thoughts?

ok if he just feel off the cliff instead of being able to pull himself up we would've saved ourselves a lot of trouble i'm just saying druids.

ok this is so pretty. my thoughts are like 25% me singing show tunes, 25% thinking of actual merlin things, 50% thinking about how pretty everything is

merlin is such a light sleeper. idk why that's important but he wakes up ALL the time

✨gaius is the worst ✨

ok colin's eye looked so good in this scene

aLASFLJDFA MERLIN AND HIS SOCKS

stop i literally dress like this

i love his sleep clothes. it's such a vibe

aw merlin saying 'save the dragons is so cute' omg it reminds me of the vsco girls and saving the turtles HAHA

i love how equal merlin and kilgharrah feel here

asjflsjdasjdfl like ik this is the point but i love that merlin's inherited his father gift and he's always going to remember him. not that merlin would forget his father but idek

aw kilgharrah is like 'i beg you' ok now that i think abt it maybe it's slightly manipulative but it's also really not

ok actually i don't know how many time merlin uses this scene but i guess i'm keeping track now. but look how pretty

wow the rising sun 🤪

OH HAHA THIS IS WHERE MERLIN CARTWHEELS??

literally merlin just breaks in everywhere

merlin seems so earnest about wanting to see the dragons. i want to see the dragons too please

omg HAHA the woodworm is this episode??

WHY IS MERLIN STILL SEARCHING AFTER ARTHUR TURNS AROUND WHAT?

this is a side note but i love arthur's key holder thingy it's actually pretty.

stop right now why is merlin using his magic to PANTS arthur

ok i'm pretty sure that agravaine is only in this episode this one time, and yk it's the little victories

i'm actually embarassed for arthur and merlin here. i don't like it at all

HOW DOES MERLIN DO THE HANDSTAND?? that's the one part i like

ok my question is how is he supposed to know where the last piece of the triskeleton is??

SECOND QUESTION WHY IS HE JUST STANDING IN THE VAULT WHEN HE SHOULD BE RUNNING

lasflkajsdljsad omg the betrayal. ouch my heart

these scene are just like. it's actually art

ok how did merlin stay there all night and no one saw him?? literally camelot guards need to step up

omg no not merlin zooming

sklfja;lsdkjfasdlfs amerlin and the cup

i love how long merlin and arthur look at each other before arthur reacts

lsjfa;lksdsl woodworm omg and the fact that arthur believes that merlin is this chaotic is so funny

HAHA THIS SCENE GAIUS LITERALLY YELLING AT MERLIN

i think this is the funniest thing because gaius is like 'don't people about your magic' while YELLING ABOUT MERLIN'S MAGIC

ok that's a good point gaius we don't know what borden's intentions are

alsdjfalsd stop why didn't they wait for merlin :,(. this reminds me of when you're in highschool and you're finishing lunch and as you pack up everyone is leaving you??????

ok but i love that merlin rides in front with arthur. like- of course he does

merlin being observant 😍😍

i want to go horse riding now

STOP I DON'T LIKE THIS

THIS KNIGHT/DINNER GAG IS NOT FUNNY TO ME. NOT IN THE SLIGHTLEST. THERE'S THIS FIC by @a-small-batch-of-dragons. i literally spent like 10 minutes looking for it because i had to include it here

this scene just.. i don't like it. i never have and i never will

like- who decided that putting this scene in here would be good. no thanks

the knights sleeping in a circle and merlin sleeping on the outside. idk bro that made me a little sad

but also. i want a cloak please. i think i'm just going to say i want a cloak every episode

ok i chuckled at the interaction of 'ever herd of the word sorry?' and 'no is it a word you made up?'

dude don't ask why but i love it when people walk through waterfalls

i don't know why arthur looked so stupid when he was doing it though

i love the nature of it all

yes merlin, you start walking toward the castle first

aw i love the knights working together. like, i know they work together- they're knights, but we love to see it

merlin and his sharp eyes again :,))

why are they making camp it's literally not even dark yet 😭😭

oh great another dinner gag. please stop. i dislike this immensely

wow i love that merlin can heal them. i also think it's surprising because merlin sucks at healing things but yk.. ✨plot✨

this looks like the type of building teens would either be convinced is haunted and try to stay the night there or the type of building that all teens would go to to take pics for the #gram

ok is borden dead here or..

yes i'm putting both of these picture here. who's going to stop me

just kidding it's three

ok so not dead

ok this is not meant to be creepy but colin has nice hands

borden is a creep please go away now

merlin use your ✨magic ✨ please

YES. tell him you're the last dragonlord. i stan. YES HIM AND HIS MAGIC

you better run boy

ok how he manages to get out of the castle is astounding

HAHA there was some CGI that fell and i laughed so hard because it looked so fake

LITERALLY. THE PRETTY CASTLE SCENE IS HERE AGAIN. PRETTY CASTLE SCENE COUNTER; 3

omg merlin getting excited about the egg is actually so precious

both of their faces here are SO precious.

oasfasldfjasl idk why but whenever merlin walks across with the eggs i have this feeling he's going to faceplant and drop it for the comedic effect but i'm glad that never happens

bruh 'back where it belongs' like yes that makes sense but also that doesn't make sense

dude

it's been a full moon for like 4 days now..??????

omg i actually love aithusa

tbh, i DO NOT know how to pronounce her name

why is she actually the cutest thing ever.

AW MERLIN CRYING

i love it when merlin cries, but not in a sadistic way yk? it's more the fact that he's allowed to cry

ok i have a few dragon fics that i love but the only one i can think of right now is Returning the Favor by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle it's actually perfect

there are so many more that i love but i can't think of them but also- PLEASE REC YOUR FAVE DRAGON FAMILY DOMESTIC FICS PLEASE AND THANK YOU

anyways. i'll be back tomorrow to rant more about the darkest hr pt 2 so i'll see you then! also let me know if you want me to stop tagging you @lady-ofmagic-andstars because otherwise i will literally tag you in everything :,)

[seungminhos]

these people just.... ever heard of watching a stage again and again just because you love it? ever streamed a song/mv so much JUST because you love it? i could care less about how many streams i contribute to a song/stage i don’t like, why would i subject myself to torture? it’s okay and normal to not like a song/stage your favourite group makes. it’s okay to not like a specific outfit/hairstyle on them. it’s your personal taste. it’s not like we’re hating on them? we just expressed the fact that we didn’t like something because according to our own tastes, it was not it. now if people say that we should keep it to ourselves, NO my friends like to ask me what i think about recent releases/new styles etc.. it’s my blog or my friend’s inbox, why the hell should i shut up when the other person themselves want me to talk to them about it or are curious about my preferences? no one goes on to twt to qrt their tweets and say that you’re wrong for finding x member more handsome, or streaming too much and/or having too much free time. why do these guys go our of their way to share what we say among our friends or to come to us to belittle us for being human? one who has preferences? it’s like not liking something their faves put out is the equivalent of barging into music stores, taking the records and burning them while filming to show to the artists. smh how do these people still function they do hem we do us

omg i know.. stan culture has really made us feel like if we dont like certain things about the group we like it means we hate them or we're underserving as fans. or if we don't stream / vote we're bad fans. some people have lives of their own and liking a group's music should be smth that's enjoyable not a chore...

[thisdreamplace]

I had a nasty fight with my former bff. This was long ago. She did the whole 'boycotting me' thing at school and afterwards had a mutual friend pass her msg to me, saying "tell her [me] to get it into her skull that she's not the center of the world, who does she think she is? Stop acting like a #" Im simplifying the words, her actual words were nastier

I got thinking today abt this fight, and her comment abt me that is still way too fresh in my mind even tho I hadn't recalled it in 2-3 yrs!, and I actually decided to use the law to revise my friendship to feel better as what happened after the fight was shameful on my part. But before I knew it, I started rmmbring my relationship with her. How I became a total victim. Got so stuck on her validation, begged her to be friends with me (after I got the degrading msg. 🤕 silly me w/o a backbone lol) and stayed her 'bestie' for way too long. Only after it's all over im noticing smth messed up abt out 'feiendship'. It wasnf that normal I think. She would get so pissed if I did anything that went against her thoughts/beliefs/way (which is why she called me a selfish # that major fight). It was so subtle the way she showed her disapproval. To her, if I did anything not aligned with her, or even makih decisions on my own which didn't involve her, it was wrong. And had consequences like her beinf distant for days etc, or getting angry if I didn't mind read her bla bla, I just had to keep her at the top 24/7 and she expected everyone else to do the same... which I thought was normal... It wasnt. And what would be even more crazy is she never realized how that meant she always wanted the attention. That she always wanted it her way! It just makes me feel... Sad.... When I look back. How couldn't I have notived it before? I used to be strong headed, opinionated before I became 'besties' with her.. That all has changed. I wonder why -_-

It may be dumb on my part but with the weak mind and insecurity I had then, I took that fight/her reaction to the heart and internalisef this stupidiy (DENY MYSELF if the other alternative was denying HER. I didn't think it was wrong. For the oldme, it really wasn't wrong smh). Aaah I'm so sorry old me :(

This fight started bcoz she asked me for smth and I refused, instead of relenting like I always would, and I see now that her reaction (to me not being an obedient # to her ig?🤢) was basically her setting rules. It was wrong of me to refuse, yes, but why did she react that way? Why did this pattern continue? That everyone was selfish if they didn't think of her ;_; like how do u deal with this? And the icing is when I too started to defend her and make excuses for her all the time. And ik I'm making her out to be so strong, don't worry... I accept the strong only rule when the weak submit. And I was weak as hell, so its understandable this whole thing. I think 😅

Idk. I seen your posts abt eyipo with other anons so i hope u can tell me figure out what this was. Its clear to me she was projecting smth about me, and mb throughout our whole friendship she was projecting me. And I would think it was her hurting me, that she was right and I was wrong or maybe I did smth wrong. Mb I thought I deserved being punished that way?!

Today I suddenly had an aha moment and I realised... this is how a victim thinks. I didn't know I was a victim when I was living that stoey aka thought I was powerless. When in fact I really wasn't?! Haha still accepting I 555% created ALL that. The law can knock you out haha

Enough old story I just want to ask, what du u think the msg she sent to me was? Did I really deserve such a reaction (did I mention she included other girls in the boycot? 🤢) just for standing up for myself? What about the whole 'fight' aka showcase of power? And the entire yrs of being friends why did I never realize I was only hurting myself so much by putting her before me? And also, with the everyone pushed out thing, how did it fit in? Like why the hell did I give her too much power in validating me by giving in after the fight in the first place?, and while I did have some fun times (saying this so anyone else who reads this doesn't think it was pure torture lol. We had some common interests tyat no one else in the class shared when we first became 'friends'), deep down I was so unhappy so why didn't this reflect on her? I mean why didn't she ever sense just how much she'd hurt me, why didn't she see how much I put on the back burner coz of her?! Was it as she saw it as her right? I'm just so confused

This is still a bitter pill to swallow tbh but I have to face this in order to move on. This person and my life with her has left me wit many scars and I got to understand how I did this so I never attract such a person in my life again. Its not even abt bejnf a victim. As I said, these victimy things were subtle and I only noted them when it was too late and I was a shell, like she getting super pissed and disapproving if I had a differing opinion and me blowijg it out of proportion and tailoring my views or not expressing them so as to not feel the disapproval...thanks boycott conditioning ig? 😭 Aaaah even talking agaunst her rn is making me uncomfortable. Which makes me think I still am scared of her subconsciously even tho she's no longer in my life. Like, what in me made me choose her? I haven't healed, obviously by this ask as u can tell, but idk what is it in my self concept that had this whole thing in my past even happen

My friend, I also want to say I think you're a beautiful soul 🥺. And im sorry for the long ask lol. And I pray you'll always have all your desires. And plz, was it hard for u at first when u learned about u creating everything? The good, the bad, and the repulsive (like this story)? How did u get over old stories? Ty ty ty 😭

To begin with you're being really harsh on yourself. Like, I know it's hard, but it's never that serious. And trust me, this is something I have to remind myself of regularly. Because there have definitely been moments in life where I look back on myself in that moment, and I feel like I was pathetic and would slap myself if I could. But the truth is, there's just no need for any of that. We always did the best we could. We always did, period. We couldn't have done anything differently and this will continue to be true our entire lives. Looking back on the past with such overwhelming feelings, is really not needed. I get looking back to learn from it, but practice coming from a place of love and acceptance instead. It will help you grow, rather than get stuck back in this cycle of self-hate and confusion. Plus, you actually never need to analyze the past to grow but that's beyond the point right now.

To me, by reading your ask, the message she sent to you was clear. You feel you deserve less in life, you feel you're not good enough, you feel like a victim to life and others, you feel like you're not empowered or the operant power of your reality. It's not about her being wrong and you being right, and I get this is one of the hardest pills to swallow. Everyone is you pushed out. Therefore, there's simply no such thing as who is right and who is wrong anymore. It was only ever you.

When it comes to everyone is you pushed out, you have to understand this person isn't this way because that's who they are. They were that way because that's who you were. Inside of you, you brought their character to life. Therefore, the same way you are not stuck to such an undesirable self concept, neither is that person. It's not that you chose her and attracted her in. You were just dealing with yourself. That's what I hope you walk away from this response understanding. Because by thinking she was outside of you, you're missing the mark. And this is such an important concept to understand when it comes to the law of assumption, because it's really at the forefront of everything. People play such a huge role in our lives, whether it's relationships, jobs, opportunities, etc etc. So understanding how everyone is you pushed out actually works is extremely important.

So instead of putting all this blame on her or even putting the blame on yourself, all these memories really do is give you a glimpse into who you were at the time. It shows you the beliefs you held about yourself. It shows you what your self concept was. That's all it's doing. So in that way, there's actually no one to blame at all. I know it feels good to put blame, even when it's on yourself, but the truth is there's no room for blame when you learn about the law. You simply take responsibility and become empowered by the power you have held this entire time. And you practice making it work in your favor.

If you want to see how something was apart of your self concept, all you have to do is pay attention to what you are thinking/feeling. Shame, not being good enough, etc etc is all just stories you once held onto. Now you don't have to hold onto those stories anymore. Now that you know the power you hold, you get to make a new decision for yourself. Rather than ruminating of the painful past, allow it to be and know how that's not your story anymore.

Was it difficult for me to accept how I created everything? Yes and no. It's been a journey. While I could accept it logically, emotionally it was still very painful. Many times I wanted to cry and lash out when I felt alone and felt upset that no one was there for me. Although, I knew deep down it appeared that way because of my own concept of self. So yeah, it's been a journey. And it's honestly not always delightful. But this is the journey we have to take for the rest of our lives, so we might as well get used to practicing and applying these concepts. Instead of continuing to hold ourselves in such painful lights. I got through old stories, and I continue to get through old stories, by feeling all the pain that came up. By allowing myself to cry and feel however I felt like during those times. And in the back of my mind I knew I was getting stronger in my power. I knew how I would keep persisting once the pain subsided. And little by little, old stories fade more and more. That persistence to continue choosing better for yourself, is truly more powerful than it may seem in a difficult moment. Have trust in how it's all working out for you regardless.

Hopefully this is helpful! Thank you for your kind words. 💖

[fandom-pardes]

Christian normativity and Lovecraft Country

Reposted from my personal blog.

Here’s something you need to wrap your head around. If you were brought up in an environment dominated by Christian culture, Christian norms have shaped the way you conceptualize how the world works, human nature, ethics, religion (even the term religion is Christian-normative), and so on.

It doesn’t matter if you actively practice or believe. IMO, unless you deliberately and consistently expose yourself to different frameworks, you are generally operating from a Christian lens. That’s just how socialization works.

In the case of media and media criticism, the Christian framework shows up in a deeply puritanical streak where good and evil are not actions and choices, but states of being. When a character does something beneficial, it’s because they are good. If they do something harmful, it’s because they are bad.

It also shows up in the ways that fandom discourse seems preoccupied with whether a character’s thoughts, feelings, or actions are morally justified or not, as opposed to understanding where those thoughts, feelings, and actions come from.

Consider Montrose. He does some horrible stuff in this show, and many viewers were upset by the way the narrative went out of its way to explore where those horrific actions come from rather than condemn him for them. Meanwhile, I’m sitting here thinking, “Of course he does that, considering what his experiences have taught him.” But at the time the show was airing, if I’d expressed that openly, I’d have gotten a lot of, “Why are you trying to justify all the bad things Montrose has done?”

*smh*

In Lovecraft Country, the Christian normativity also shows up in the way it tries to shoehorn the plot (especially the finale) into a typical Good vs. Evil (or God vs. Satan—more on this in a bit) narrative even though the characters themselves are too complex for that. Then the show Goes There with the hamfisted way it links Tic with Jesus, all the way down to his martyred blood being the source of salvation, and Christina with Satan or the Antichrist, a morally corrupt enemy of goodness/God who tempts humans to embrace forbidden knowledge (magic) and forbidden pleasures (non-cishet sex).

(IMO, the show did Christina a disservice by making her the ultimate villain because she’s a lot more fun as a wild card. Also, her character is more akin to the tricksters of myth and folklore than the villains of contemporary media. /tangent)

Then there’s the way that, in the US, the legacy of slavery, and later Jim Crow, is seen as a kind of Original Sin, which the show reinforces rather than challenges. In very simplistic terms, Original Sin means that you are automatically morally corrupt from birth, and nothing you do can undo that except faith in Jesus. In other words, you are born bad and condemned to damnation unless you think, feel, and believe the right thing.

This insinuation of Original Sin is most pronounced with how the narrative frames Christina and how viewers respond to her. I’ve seen a lot of people judge her for having the “wrong” thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and attitudes, using that as an argument against her capacity to change and grow. Even the ways she helps and empowers others become automatically suspect because of this “taint.”

*siiiiigh*

Y’all, you have to understand how weird this looks to my Jewish self.

Imagine this rich heiress who kills a bunch of Nazis. She does it for her own reasons that aren’t the least bit altruistic. That’s still fewer Nazis for me to worry about. We can argue about her motives when there are no more Nazis. But for now: Thanks, lady!

But the way some viewers would have it, I’m supposed to be like…

Me: “I know you killed all these Nazis, but do you really care about my people?”

Her: “No.”

Me: “You horrible person! If you don’t care, don’t bother killing any Nazis at all!”

Haha. OK. Sure, Jan.

I’m not gonna go down the rabbit hole of Jewish ethics and moral development, but to summarize Jewish ethics while standing on one foot, the important thing is the Do The Thing. Even though it’s ideal to Do The Thing for the right reasons, whatever it takes to get you to Do The Thing is valid (some conditions about Doing The Other Things apply). Good intentions don’t absolve people of wrongdoing, nor do ulterior motives erase the good that people do.

Furthermore, sin is not a state of being in Jewish tradition. It’s an action or behavior akin to an arrow missing its target. Our job is to fix what we can and try again, failing better until we hit our target.

So Christina crashing her car into truckload of racists matters. Giving Leti enough money to pay for a house matters. Sharing magical secrets with Tic and Ruby matters. Keeping her promise not to harm Leti matters.

Now, if I really wanna get Jewish about this, I’d argue that Christina’s deep yearning for human connection, for family and for love, is what can give her the drive to learn better* and do better. This may strike some with deeply ingrained Christian norms as selfish, or at the very least, self-interested. However, Jewish tradition encourages us to perform mitzvot and other good deeds using both our yetzer hatov (our “good” impulse—think the Freudian** superego) and our yetzer hara (our “evil” impulse—think the Freudian id). Our job is not to suppress or deny the part that wants things for ourselves, but to refine it and channel it toward constructive purposes.

I think that’s about it.

Happy Hanukkah!

*Moral development through learning and study is a hallmark of Jewish ethics. No one is born knowing right from wrong. It has to be taught and cultivated.

**Freud was Jewish, BTW.

[ladyideal]

Ficmas~ Day 17

Pairing: Leonard McCoy x Gender Neutral!reader

Word Count: 1205

Warnings: Slightly suggestive in the beginning.

Summary: You and Leonard have a day off on the Enterprise.

Requested By: @night-running-echo

A/n: Smh. I enjoyed writing writing this one. Almost got derailed lol.

7:00 AM

Sounds of an alarm pierced the silence. With a groan, your boyfriend smacked the button with a spare hand. Yawning, he watched you still sleeping, undisturbed. Waking up beside you every day was something he didn't imagine two years ago. 

It was a pleasant surprise. 

Gently, he traced your features, careful to not wake you. From the forehead, down to the nose, and stopped at your lips. There was nothing he didn't love about you. 

"Mornin', sleepyhead," He spoke against your cheek. 

"Lennn," You whined quietly, squirming around in his arms and blearily opening your eyes to look crossly over at him. "It's too early to be awake. Go back to sleep. We both have a day off."

You were the one thing he did right this time. This was where he wanted to stay, forever and always beside you. 

"I've missed you, darlin'," He silently agreed, laying his head back on the pillow. Only smiling to himself when you didn't answer. 

9:00 AM

"Pancakes or waffles?" You asked, finally sitting up in bed and reaching for one of your boyfriend's shirt.

"Pancakes." He spoke, watching intently as you padded out the room in nothing but a thin shirt of his. 

Maybe one more time. 

He enjoyed watching your ass before you disappeared out of sight.

"Gonna call your mom today?" You asked, flipping a pancake as you stood in front of the stove. 

"Momma would get mad if I didn't. I've seen her holler at Donna before. Not a pretty sight," The doctor emerged from the bedroom, giving you a nice once over before hugging you from behind. "Smells good in here, sweetheart."

"Leonard," You warned, sliding the pancake onto a plate. 

"Hmm?"

"What did we say about keeping our hands to ourselves?" You scolded lightly, adding more batter into the pan. "We don't want breakfast to burn, do we?"

He pouted at you, giving you one of his most adoring faces. You kept your resolve firm, frowning slightly at him. Looking like a scorned child, he turned to the sink to help wash and cut the fruits that would be placed later onto the plates. Laughing mostly to yourself, you continued your work and ruffled his hair. 

"Good boy."

You swore you heard a growl.

11:19 AM

Managing to finish breakfast and calling his mom and daughter, you and him scrolled through your respective PADDs. He, as the Chief Medical Officer of the ship, meant a daily review of chartings and reports. For you, as a scientist of Commander Spock's elite research team, your team was in constant communication over new findings, theories, and scientific equations.

"Enough, this is our only day off together. Who knows when the last time we get this chance again?" You placed your PADD down, and stacked the used plates and utensils together. 

Breakfast tasted far better than the cardboard version from the replicators.

"What should we do on the day off?" Leonard asked, flicking you with water as he washed the dishes. It was one way to keep the relationship interesting. 

You swiped back at him with the kitchen towel you used to dry the plates, sticking your tongue out playfully at him. "Maybe watch some holos or some classic hallmark Christmas ones? Haven't done that or decorating the place yet."

He grunted in response which you took as a reluctant assent. "What do you want to watch, sweetheart?"

“Iron Man 3! My favorite Christmas movie!” 

“FOR THE LAST TIME. IRON MAN 3 IS NOT A CHRISTMAS MOVIE.”

You laughed at his response. "Take that back, Leonard. Iron Man 3 is perfect for any season."

3:52 PM

Laundry. 

You didn't know how after so long after so many cultures and technology coming together, that no one within the Federation figured out a way to quickly fold clothes. Essentially, folding clothes were the absolute bane of your existence.

As Leonard folded the last of the cycle, you placed his away grinning at the thought. "Remember that time when you wore my uniform and you wore mine?"

He snorted. "How could I not? Even Chris didn't mention it the entire day. Said my abs looked much better than Jim's at the end of Alpha. At the end, it was Geoff that mentioned the wrong uniform. I was made a laughingstock of my own medbay."

You shook your head, chuckling. "Not making that mistake again, are we? I'm sure you were fine, doctor. The nurses must have had a wonderful day in the Medbay. Jim got a kick out of it too."

"He knows?" Leonard gasped loudly. "How the hell did the infant know about it?"

"Surely a bird told him about it."

He eyed you, the same look he'd give when his orders were being questioned. Before you could take your words, his long talented hands began tickling you. 

"Stop! Ahh," You giggled, weakly trying to shove his hands away. 

"Say 'Doctor McCoy looks better.' or I'm not stopping."

"Doctor McCoy looks better," You wheeze out, thankful that he relented. "You win, you win."

Smugly, he sat down beside you on the bed. "I missed this."

"I missed this too," You agreed, getting to your feet again. "But I know what else you're not going to be missing anytime soon."

Ding Dong!

"Coming," You winked at Leonard before happily prancing towards the door. Thanking your friend, you lugged the large cardboard box inside. 

"Ta da!"

"What the hell is this?" Your boyfriend prodded at the decorations within, as though afraid he would catch the Christmas cheer. 

"Oh this? Some tinsel, lights, some stockings, small nutcrackers, pillows for the couch," You dug through the box. "Some mistletoe somewhere here."

"Mistletoe?" He echoed. 

"Afraid to be caught under one, Doctor?"

8:01 PM

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Had a very shiny nose

And if you ever saw it

You would even say it glows

"Remind me why I can't kill the carolers?" Leonard grumbled once the carolers left for their next destination.

"Because you hold an oath," You reminded, washing away the last of the plates. Dinner was wonderful as usual. Real chicken noodle soup was always delectable.

The living room was transformed in time for the holidays. Tinsel glinted from the ceiling, stockings hung beside the TV, a small tree sat at the corner decorated with its own baubles and lights, and mistletoe hung right on top of the threshold into the bedroom. Pillows on the sofa was changed out, pumpkins were changed out for plastic snowmen, and a wreath hung right beside the door. 

"Come on, Mister Grinch, admit it," You admired the living room, taking out two mugs out to make chocolate. "You enjoy Christmas."

"It's a fire hazard, Y/N," He answered, pouring in a generous glug of whiskey into both. 

"That's not a no I'm hearing," You dunked in some small marshmallows before handing the beverage. 

"Only with you, sweetheart," Leonard clinked his mug with yours. 

"Why don't we watch a holo together? Nyota mentioned the Nutcracker ballet, a true Christmas classic." You offered. "Take the rest of the night off."

He groaned good naturedly, but sneaked a kiss in with your hot chocolate ones. 

"You're all I would ever love."

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