#why jira is bad

[unashamedly-enthusiastic]

Let's whap a 'mature content' label on the public street art commissioned, designed, and celebrated for addressing the shame around breastfeeding

Let's be a mural with mama

[marvelstars]

So I was thinking about a post I saw a while ago and it made me realize that I believe it didn´t really occur to Anakin that Padme was too young as a 14 year old Queen because he was a 9 year old slave and already making adult decisions, like:

Sure, I will risk my life to give you the ship parts you need new friends.

I will sacrifice the pod I built with many sacrifices that I wanted to use to escape with my Mom once I got her and my slave chip out of her body with my self made slave chip detector.

I know exactly how to cheat on my owner, I have know him all my life actually and he loves gambling.

Sebulba, leave Jar Jar alone, you could kill me instead but then you would have to pay for me so go away.

I built a droid to help Mom around the house and I am also looking after grandma Jira here, fixing her things so the heat doesn´t get too much for her.

Do you need the droid army that is invading Naboo stopped? No problem, I will just destroy their main star chip and I didn´t even get out of place as Master Qui-Gon Sir asked me to.

Then Anakin became a padawan and was send to missions in which he had to use his lightsaber to get out of "negotiations"

So of course he defended Padme being a Queen at 14, to him her words about being happy for being relieved of so much responsibility sounded as if she thought she was doing a bad job with her planet, that´s why he told her he heard people were so pleased with her they wanted to keep her more time as their Queen. He thought she was selling herself short.

I believe the whole, "too young to be doing this" only beat Anakin in the face when he was send Ahsoka in the middle of a war zone.

I mean, he called her a "youngling" not even a padawan, he most definitely didn´t want to be training a 14 year old youngling in the middle of a war zone and he only accepted because he saw how sad Ahsoka looked when she thought he didn´t want her.

Ahsoka just had to invoke a little bit of tears and she already had him grapped around her little finger.

Anakin: Sure I am supposed to be your Jedi master and you should call me master but we are in the middle of a war zone, we both could die tomorrow, your situation sucks Snips and you are too young yet to notice it so of course you may call me skyguy to your heart content.

He is actually worse with Luke, honestly, it didn´t matter to him his little boy already destroyed the death star in ANH and his Master was calling for his head because he could become a Jedi and try to kill both of them, to Vader he was just "a boy"

In ESB Vader was at the parenting stage of thinking about Luke like, that´s my baby, nobody can touch him or his friends until I say so ok?

So he can recognize when someone was too young to be send to war, slavery or fight his Sith Master and he was right most of the time, except when it´s about himself and his perfect Queen Padme, they were veteran kids just doing their jobs.

Love him honestly :D

[moonlightblueandicegrey]

Jay and Ronin headcanons and personal opinions because of my last post:

Why they could have been good friends:

• Ronin is a thief - Jay is a little bit of a pirate (Jay could have been a great pirate, you can't change my mind).

• Ronin doesn't think that stealing is a bad thing because he is a thief. I believe that Jay thinks the same way:

When the ninja wanted to take the airjitzu papyrus from Ronin's shop in Stiix and Jay became a leader, his first thought was to steal the papyrus. He also tried to make stealing sound like a nice/positive thing in that situation by saying things like: "we are stealing from a thief", "we are stealing something someone stole so we can give it back to the original owner (after using it)".

Stealing is still bad no matter the final result but neither Ronin nor Jay think that way.

Also, Jay had no problem stealing those ninja chips in skybound. He was hungry, yes, but he was still going to steal.

• Both Ronin and Jay value money a lot:

I don't know Ronin's back story so i don't know why he values money so much but he definitely does for some reason. You can see it in many of his lines and through his actions.

Jay on the other hand wanted so much to be rich in skybound. He thought money could impress the girl he loved. He was also sad and embarrassed in general about the fact that he was poor.

• They are both betraying others:

Ronin betrayed the ninja lots of times and Jay did too in Skybound

• They both use fake personalities to get what they want/they are manipulative:

Ronin manipulated the ninja in possession and skybound by acting like a nice guy to get what he wanted and reach his goals.

Jay also uses a fake personality. His 24/7 smile is fake to me. He might use it, to cheer his friends and himself up, to hide his true emotions and feelings, to hide his real and honest thoughts, to keep enemies guessing, to look innocent, weak and even stupid while in reality he isn't and probably, to seem like he doesn't care about anything or anyone (like he doesn't need help). No matter what, he still manipulates others to think he is someone else and hides his actual personality. I can see Jay wearing an invisible mask, that thing being stuck on his face, he got so used to it that now he doesn't even know who he actually is anymore.

• They are both liars:

Ronin lies a lot to everyone in order to reach his goals. I remember that time in Seabound when he made the wooden Wo-Jira.

Jay also lies, during skybound especially, but i think he also lied to the other ninja about his home (he didn't want to say that he lived in a junkyard) and about the skybound events after his last wish. I don't believe he told them the truth about Nadakhan right away. Also, he lied to Nya about the Fangpyre's bite and how he almost became a serpentine on their first date.

• Both Jay and Ronin were probably born poor (I'm talking about Ed and Edna) and abandoned by their parents (Cliff and Libber). I think Ronin was also abandoned by his parents when he was a baby.

............................................................................

So, yeah... in conclusion, i believe that Jay and Ronin could have been good friends if things were different for them and if they had met each other differently.

(Jay is so relatable to me, I'm kinda worried now)

[abalidoth]

Sitting here at work on a bad species dysphoria day like. Man idk why you're asking me to fill out JIRA tickets, I'm just a toaster

[lastweeksshirttonight]

We're back with Strike Force Five episode two, which seems to have randomly dropped at some point after I went to bed on Saturday. I enjoy when podcasts just randomly drop episodes, honestly, makes the whole thing feel more authentically chaotic.

I started listening to this while trying to figure out how to draft for fantasy football. I am not a football fan. I don't follow football. I don't know how to do fantasy. I very much procrastinated on that by doing these notes. My team is graded C- by Yahoo btw, which is two full grades higher than I expected.

Notes under the cut y'all.

This episode opens with Fallon talking about how he forgot his show's shirts glow in the dark. Apparently Billy Crystal tried to sleep in one recently and discovered this; John also noted a time when he was trying to get his infant son to sleep while wearing one of Fallon's shirts and saying it glowed "too well".

The audience for this podcast is obviously 30-something office drones like me. I say this because Atlassian is now running ads during the podcast. They must sense that everyone listening to this has it open in tab one while having their task-overrun Jira boards open in tabs two through five. John also completely "ruins" this ad - which was very on the rails for a decent amount of time! - by suggesting that Atlassian sounds like "one of those plans G. Gordon Liddy had to relect Nixon". Fallon also claims Atlassian is the name of his Fortnite character. (I wonder how my boss feels about both of those lol)

Everyone opens by briefly talking about how many staff they have. Stephen has 210, Kimmel has about 180 + 13 writers + a bunch of crew, Fallon thinks he has 305, and John jokingly says he has 500 people before admitting he misses his legal and research staff. He's ready to say things he thinks are true, instead of "things that are legally defensible".

Stephen: "Would you guys be okay if I had a little Casamigos, I got a bottle right here...?" John: "It's 7:30 in the morning, why not?" Seth: "That's like a 24 ounce 7-11 cup..." I'm so glad this is all in an auditory medium.

John is going to continue shitting on whatever alcohol company he shat on last week, and called it "pond water". I am guessing it's somehow related to Bud Light but that doesn't really track with tequila advertising, so who knows. I have in a past life had Bud Light Margarita in a Bag once, maybe John also suffered that unique hell.

If it IS Bud Light John is talking about, I have no idea how Stephen talking about Budweiser wanting him to be the voice for a Budweiser energy drink/caffeinated beer called B to the E/B 2 the E didn't get cut. This was in about 2001-2002, so well before Four Loko, and the ad copy contained things like "your friends are heading home AND YOU'RE JUST GETTING STARTED!" (John is quietly dying in the background the entire fucking time before Googling if it ever came out. It did! Fallon is flatly like "that's illegal" in a completely baffled tone early on.)

We are 8 minutes into an hour-long podcast. Just informing you, in case you were wondering. Why yes I am obsessed/bad at football why do you ask

Kimmel insists that his early seasons - "for the first eight to eleven years" - were the worst of anyone's on the podcast. He said this after talking about, on his show, Mr. T and Jim Belushi hating each other and almost about to fight each other, his cousin doing pillow-fights early on and causing a catastrophe one episode by fighting Lennox Lewis culminating with Anna Nicole Smith falling into a cake, and another pillow fight with Tom Arnold ruining his suede jacket. I forget that Kimmel is partially of the Jerry Springer era, if not on his late-night show then from his other work, and this just really reminded me of that.

Mariah Carey wanted to be interviewed by Seth Meyers during Christmas in a functional sleigh. John tells a story about watching Watch What Happens Live where Andy Cohen, on live TV by himself, said that Mariah Carey was in the building but would not sit on the side where guests usually sit on his show and was desperately trying to fill time. Mariah seems fun.

If I had to imagine Hell for Stephen Colbert, it would be "having to fill in for a guest on The Daily Show and turning down an advanced screening of The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring". That scenario seems tailor-made to completely destroy him.

I'm glad I remember that Ben and Jerry bit Stephen and Fallon are talking about. I would love to know what this whole explanation sounds like to someone who does not remember the whole "best friends" late night "wars" of the time. Here's the bit btw. (Your daily reminder that the CC website sucks ass.)

I forgot Fallon started his show two weeks before Seth. I must have completely blanked out how quickly all of those hosts changed in 2014 (and then John starting the same year).

I'm with John on this one, "Allen key" makes waaaaaay more sense than "Allen wrench". It's a fucking key! The amount of shit I've had to put together with those goddamn things, it's not a wrench at ALL.

One thing I learned today: chairs are very serious business for most of the hosts. Fallon keeps a chair backstage to see how someone will look in chairs on the set, and to confirm that's okay with the guests. Seth, meanwhile, had chairs that John feel like he was being interviewed to be on Seth's show. And Stephen has all different sizes of chairs, to make everyone feel comfortable when they're on the show. (This is where things go predictably off the rails, as Seth then claims he has chairs that get smaller and smaller to keep guests on their toes.)

John's guest are was the most expensive part of his set, and they never used it. Somehow that doesn't surprise me. I was shocked they have a guest booker, though. (Stephen: "Wow what a cushy gig!")

Kimmel's live show ceased being live when Thomas Jane said "fuck" nineteen times on air and affiliates/censors were mad. Apparently on network you CAN technically say anything past ten p.m., according to Kimmel, but that's not the reality of the situation.

Seth: "People forget about the early 2000s. If you were a sports fan, you would often say, 'I wonder who won the big game... let's watch the Kimmel monologue.'" This is exactly what the 2000s were like, kids.

Seth and Fallon both were told by SNL showrunner Lorne Michaels that it would take them 18 months to get comfortable with their shows and figure out how to use them. Seth definitely felt that was wrong and he'd only take 6 months... but the first time he started the show from behind his desk was almost 18 months to the day from his first episode.

Stephen has an unaired 3-minute opening credits sequence that he wants to show on his last episode if possible. John also had a longer title sequence that he loved, but that his producer said he'd be constantly going over for time and he'd need to cut it down, lest he get continually furious over not having enough time for his actual show.

Fallon talks about how his first interview was with notoriously reticent and quiet Robert DeNiro, who gave Fallon one-word answers for literally everything. John asks if anyone told him he was starting from a high difficulty degree, but is interrupted by Stephen remembering a Space Train sketch in the middle of Fallon's interview featuring DeNiro.

Stephen remembers more about Fallon's show than Fallon does, which is wild. Stephen probably remembers more about everyone's show than they do, based on the first two episodes.

Stephen calling The Colbert Report "a totally different beast and maybe doesn't even fit in this conversation" made me sad. Tell me all the Report gossip!!!

Stephen telling the story of how he made the Public Access Show for Monroe, Michigan prior to doing late night is incredible. I remember watching him and Eminem do that show the day the internet became aware of it, and it is just a fascinating bit of transitional Colbert work. Also, had no idea they took over a real show... or that they got almost 0 viewers for it, lol. Here's the link to the bit, for your viewing pleasure:

Fallon must realize that John has said literally nothing for a while, because he asks how the first episode of Last Week Tonight went. John actually talks about hosting The Daily Show for three months. He says he'd never interviewed anyone before then (I'm guessing he means that as in "I've never interviewed someone seriously and with the eye of not taking the piss out of them", because he'd done MANY filmed interviews for correspondent pieces before then) and talks about the episode where the power was cut. They taped the episode on a camcorder and had to feed it to Comedy Central through Stephen's office.

Stephen then talks about how his first episode almost doesn't make it to air because it couldn't be exported from Avid. Everyone in the editing bay insists this is fine, and it did end up being fine, but the contrast between how CBS editing works and John having to go to another office to feed a show to Comedy Central is so interesting.

Stephen also kicked down a door after this. Please enjoy this mental image, you freaks.

John and Stephen sharing a bitter laugh over John's joke about Les Moonves in the background is fantastic.

John is the first person to bring up that Ryan Reynolds turned around Wrexham the team AND the city. I really should watch that show.

We now return to Last Week Tonight, which lawyers refused to allow to be live. (Knowing John's comedic sensibilities, I completely understand Legal's stance.) He acknowledges that they had too many ideas going together in the first episodes, including a pre-taped guest. The big thing they learned was that they were doing one show a week, which lead to research coming in throughout the week that undermined their segments, rewriting whole shows on Thursday, and the realization that doing the show that way was completely unsustainable. Having watched those early episodes recently (and I promise I'm still doing that in the background), this context totally explains the franticness and weird pacing early on. Of course things feel more didactic and surface level - they were writing full episodes in two days! The show completely restaffed and changed after year one, and John's "bones were as hollow as a sparrow". He also knew that anyone who didn't like episode one was going to hate episode two, because it was about the death penalty.

Seth's first guests were Amy Poehler and Joe Biden, because they'd been on Parks and Rec together and Biden gladly accepted being after Amy.

Seth's misplaced confidence in his pink eye sketch is very relatable.

Fallon texting everyone that he is basically dying of heat stroke in his room and is trying to leave to save himself is hilarious. Poor Jimmy, he's suffering and getting clowned so hard for it. AND THEN Stephen talks about the opening of Fallon's first episode and all the change he dumped on his desk and him. And Fallon had to run up to the roof with change falling out of his clothes. Again, all this while Fallon is having a heat episode. As John says, "we should rename this 'Asphyxiating Jimmy Fallon'."

Fallon is also vaguely losing his mind and forgets he can talk on a podcast, because he keeps texting the others his thoughts.

They actually address the hosting schedule! Next episode, Stephen is hosting. After that, it's John (I'm excited for the inevitable LMFAO retrospective and/or extensive discussion of penii on rooves), then "James Theodore Fallon".

Thank you for reading this ABSOLUTELY MASSIVE BLOCK OF TEXT I'm so sorry that this is apparently my niche right now, thousands of words on a 45 min to 1 hr podcast featuring five white guys. One day the John pictures will again outnumber my blatherings, I promise.

[i-need-some-advice-on]

I need some advice to why im feeling upset over being confused for a specific thing.

Sorry for it being so long i just dont know how much info is needed for ppl to give me advice.

I work for a company, we are almost 100 employees so its not a mega corporation. Located in western europe. I really like my job.

Today we had a special day where we got to brainstorm ideas and showcase fun things for everyone etc. usually during these special days we are sorted into groups where we sit and discuss how to improve teamwork and communication etc, its usually the last thing in the agenda before AW.

So i sit among my colleagues chatting and one of the managers walks up to us and asks for a person from each department to form groups. So i assumed we we’re gonna do the same old discussion thing as always and joined a group.

There was no clear info on what we were gonna talk about. Or i mightve been the only one who missed that, because everyone started discussing jira tasks and asked me questions on what QA should know when it cames to bug testing graphics. And since I wasn’t prepared for the topic i didnt have a clear answer. But it was all in all a good discussion that we had for like an hour or so.

I get back to my desk in my department and asks the other artists what they discussed during their group meeting. And they looked at me confused going “we had no discussion group. We have all been working here the past hour.”

They had no idea about the meeting i just had. And i somehow felt very uncomfortable and confused and overall not happy all of a sudden. My manager had already left so i couldnt bring it up with him. I plan to do so on monday.

Thing is… i feel pretty upset? I even cried a little bit on the train home. I thought i was following our schedule but apparently i spent that hour on smth else. Why do i feel so bad about it?? Technically nothing bad happened and we had a good discussion. But i couldnt enjoy the AW and left early. And now i sit here with a big lump in my throat and i just dont know why.

Idk if its any good extra context but i have ADHD and it sometimes makes me miss out on details during meetings etc, and when they asked us to form groups there was a lot of talking from all directions so i def didnt hear everything they said. I also have experienced a panic attack that was triggered by work related things caused by lack of clear understanding of my work hours. But that stuff was months ago and i have recovered really well mentally, HR helped me get in touch with a good psychologist. Again i wanna emphasize that, compared to other work places, i love my job and i do feel happy working here. But idk maybe theres a connection between my past anxiety and the emotional confusion i now feel about being told to go to a meeting that wasnt on my schedule. And everyone else werent informed about it.

.

[thousandseal]

Tsunades reaction on hearing about or seeing the damage the nine tails did to him after he saved Kushina from fully transforming though 👀👀👀👀

👀 👀 hey google show me some angst yea?

With tsunade's bad luck she was out of the village when it happened. Thankfully she wasn't to far out ( either on her way to a mission or coming back from one undecided ). She could sense something bad was happening. having been around mito since she was a baby, she was more adapt than most at picking up on things related to kyuubi / jinchuriki so she's worried before she even knew what's going on. shizune met her at the village gate before anyone else, jira is already there dealing with everything. she doesn’t wait around for a full run down before she's taking off again. she only registered two things shizune said; that kushina slipped in her control of kyuubi and minato got hurt. you’ve never seen her move so fast. fear, panic, anger. whether she's there or not, why does everyone she care's about keep getting hurt? she's worked herself into a wild panic by the time she gets to the hospital.

okay now hear me out— when she gets there, she physically can't go in the room. she's frozen in the doorway. it's crushing like when she lost dan but its flash backs of nawaki that hits her harder in the moment. minato just looks so young and small and broken too her. the rush and the panic in the room, has her wanting to turn around and run but jira snaps her back into the moment. she's never really been there for him, never been able to do anything for him, now she can and she's ashamed in herself. she wanted to run and she's to scared to take the lead in healing him she's a failure .

she hesitates but takes action, helping with healing but she flat out refuses to take lead, too scared. once he's safe she stays in the room and doesn't go home till he wakes up. while she's watching over him all she can think is that dan would be proud of him, that her family would have been proud of him, its a relief that his okay and alive but her shame and guilt only grows and she leave for a couple of month long missions after he's awake.

[ittrainingwithplacement]

What is a QA Software Testing Course, and Why is it Important in Today’s Tech Industry?

Introduction

Imagine launching a new app, only to find users abandoning it due to bugs and glitches. In the fast-paced tech world, such failures can cost companies millions. That’s where QA (Quality Assurance) software testing comes in. A QA software testing course teaches learners how to ensure digital products function smoothly, meet customer expectations, and maintain brand credibility. Today, businesses can't afford to release faulty products. The demand for skilled QA professionals is growing across sectors. Quality assurance testing courses are designed to equip learners with practical skills to meet this demand. Whether you're new to tech or switching careers, enrolling in a QA Testing Online Training Course can open doors to a stable and high-paying job in the IT industry.

What is a QA Software Testing Course?

A QA software testing course is a structured program that trains individuals to test software applications to ensure they are bug-free, functional, and meet user requirements. It typically includes both manual and automated testing techniques.

Key Concepts Covered

Software Development Life Cycle (SDLC)

Software Testing Life Cycle (STLC)

Manual Testing Basics

Automation Testing (using tools like Selenium, QTP)

Defect Tracking and Reporting

Agile and DevOps Methodologies

Test Planning and Documentation

Why is QA Testing Important in the Tech Industry?

1. Quality Control Saves Money

According to the Consortium for IT Software Quality, poor software quality costs the U.S. economy over $2 trillion annually. QA testers prevent such losses by identifying issues early.

2. User Experience Matters

A broken app leads to bad reviews and customer loss. QA testing ensures a seamless user experience.

3. Security Compliance

Many industries like healthcare and finance require thorough testing to comply with regulatory standards. QA testers are crucial in ensuring this.

4. Faster Time-to-Market

Automated QA processes allow developers to release updates quickly without sacrificing quality.

What You Will Learn in a QA Testing Online Training Course

1. Manual Testing Techniques

Learn to write and execute test cases, report bugs, and perform usability testing.

2. Automation Testing Tools

Master tools like Selenium, JUnit, TestNG, and Jenkins. Real-world use cases include writing test scripts and running automated regression tests.

3. Test Management Tools

Explore tools like JIRA, Bugzilla, and TestRail for project and defect tracking.

4. Agile and Scrum Frameworks

Work in sprints, participate in stand-ups, and collaborate in cross-functional teams.

5. Live Projects

Get hands-on experience with real-world scenarios, helping you build a solid portfolio.

Real-World Applications of QA Testing Skills

Software Development Companies

Tech firms rely heavily on QA testers to maintain software integrity.

Banking and Finance

Ensuring the security of financial transactions is non-negotiable. QA testers are responsible for safeguarding sensitive data.

E-Commerce

Testing ensures that checkout flows, payment gateways, and inventory systems work flawlessly.

Healthcare

Medical software must be error-free to avoid risks to patient safety. QA professionals ensure compliance with HIPAA and other standards.

Industry Demand for QA Testers

According to Glassdoor, QA Analysts earn an average salary of $75,000 annually in the U.S. A LinkedIn 2024 report listed "QA Testing" as one of the top 10 in-demand tech skills. With the increasing relevance of QA testing courses, more professionals are gaining the skills needed to meet industry standards. The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics predicts a 25% job growth for QA roles from 2023 to 2030, making it a promising and future-proof career path.

Course Structure: Step-by-Step Learning

Week 1-2: Fundamentals of Testing

Introduction to SDLC & STLC

Writing test cases

Week 3-4: Manual Testing Deep Dive

Exploratory Testing

Regression Testing

Week 5-6: Automation Basics

Introduction to Selenium

Writing basic scripts

Week 7-8: Advanced Automation

Framework Development

Integration with Jenkins and Git

Week 9-10: Tools and Frameworks

JIRA and Test Management

Real-time project simulation

Week 11-12: Capstone Project

Apply all skills to a live project

Get feedback from mentors

Who Should Take This Course?

Beginners in IT looking to start a tech career.

Non-tech professionals wanting to transition into QA.

Students aiming to build a strong portfolio.

Manual testers planning to upskill with automation.

Benefits of QA Testing Online Training Course

Flexibility

Learn at your pace, from anywhere, without compromising on your schedule.

Affordable

Online courses are often more cost-effective than bootcamps or college programs.

Certification

Get a shareable certificate that can boost your resume and LinkedIn profile.

Placement Assistance

Many platforms offer career support, including resume building, mock interviews, and job referrals.

Common Tools Taught in QA Testing Courses

Tool

Use Case

Selenium

Automated web testing

JIRA

Bug tracking and project management

TestNG

Test framework for Java

Postman

API testing

Jenkins

Continuous integration

Student Testimonials

"After completing my QA Testing Online Training Course, I landed a job within three months. The hands-on projects made all the difference." - Priya K., Software Tester

"I had zero coding experience. This course taught me everything step by step, from manual testing to automation." - Alex R., QA Analyst

Tips for Succeeding in QA Testing Courses

Practice writing test cases daily

Join QA forums and communities for peer support

Complete all assignments and capstone projects

Regularly update your resume with new skills

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

1. Do I need a tech background to join this course?

No, many courses are beginner-friendly and start with the basics.

2. What if I miss a class?

Most QA Testing Online Training Courses offer recorded sessions.

3. Are there any prerequisites?

Basic computer skills and logical thinking are enough to get started.

4. Will I get a certificate?

Yes, most platforms offer a verifiable certificate of completion.

Key Takeaways

QA software testing is essential for delivering high-quality, reliable software.

A QA Testing Online Training Course can equip you with in-demand skills for a growing industry.

Real-world applications span healthcare, finance, retail, and beyond.

Learn tools like Selenium, JIRA, and Jenkins with step-by-step guidance.

Online training is affordable, flexible, and career-focused.

Conclusion

Mastering QA testing skills is one of the smartest career moves in today’s tech-driven job market. Whether you're just starting or aiming to switch careers, a QA Testing Online Training Course offers the tools, support, and flexibility you need to succeed. With comprehensive QA software testing courses, learners gain hands-on experience in identifying bugs, improving software quality, and understanding testing methodologies that are essential in the IT industry. These skills are not only in high demand but also open doors to a wide range of roles in software development and quality assurance.

Ready to test your future? Enroll in a QA Testing Online Training Course today and start building your dream tech career!

[acquaintsofttech]

Top 7 Mistakes to Avoid When Hiring an IT Staff Augmentation Partner

Introduction

In 2025, choosing the right IT staff augmentation partner defines whether your startup grows or stalls. More founders now adopt this model to access global developers, launch faster, and scale smartly.

The model works well, but the wrong partner leads to disaster. You risk delays, bloated costs, and code that fails under load. One bad engagement can stall your roadmap, ruin deadlines, or force a rewrite.

A recent study indicates that 74% of employers struggle to find the skilled talent they need, underscoring the importance of choosing a reliable augmentation partner. Startups rush into agreements without understanding the benefits of IT staff augmentation, or they fail to compare options.

In this guide, you’ll learn:

Why do IT staff augmentation services work best when aligned with your business goals?

The 7 costly mistakes founders and CTOs make while choosing an augmentation partner

What to look for in an ideal staff augmentation model for startups in 2025?

How to avoid risk, delays, and poor ROI with smarter vendor evaluation?

Mistake #1: Ignoring Technical Vetting Standards

One of the biggest mistakes when choosing an IT staff augmentation partner is skipping the vetting process. Many providers promise “vetted talent,” but fail to evaluate real-world coding skills, system architecture thinking, or experience with modern frameworks.

❌ What Goes Wrong?

Developers ace theoretical interviews but fail during hands-on implementation. Reasons are -

Teams lack experience in tools you depend on, like Laravel, Kubernetes, or GitHub Actions.

Poor performance in sprint delivery, unit testing, or code review processes.

Lack of familiarity with product lifecycle, CI/CD pipelines, or post-deployment maintenance.

When technical vetting is missing or shallow, the result is broken sprints, missed deadlines, and unstable product builds.

✅ What Proper Vetting Should Include?

A reliable IT staff augmentation company conducts multiple layers of evaluation:

Live coding assessments that test for problem-solving and logic under pressure

Architecture review tasks that simulate backend planning, scalability, and service orchestration

Laravel-specific challenges for MVC structure, queue jobs, API design, and database logic

DevOps case studies that check knowledge of CI/CD, containerization, monitoring, and rollback handling

Soft skills and communication checks to ensure smooth integration with your product team

This level of depth separates mediocre outsourcing from trusted IT staff augmentation services that deliver.

Mistake #2: Overlooking Communication & Timezone Alignment

Startups often assume that hiring skilled developers guarantees smooth collaboration. That’s a major mistake. Even the best talent will fail your product if communication breaks down.

Choosing an IT staff augmentation partner without considering timezone and communication alignment results in missed updates, poor coordination, and frustration for internal teams.

❌ Why This Mistake Happens?

Founders focus only on technical skills, ignoring soft skills and cultural fit.

Developers respond to messages late or miss key meetings due to timezone gaps.

Language barriers slow down feedback cycles, sprint reviews, or dev handoffs.

Product managers waste hours trying to explain stories or resolve simple blockers.

This leads to slow product cycles, failed QA loops, and delayed launches.

✅ What to Look For Instead?

A reliable IT staff augmentation company ensures smooth communication and timezone compatibility with:

Daily or alternate-day syncs that keep progress transparent and blockers visible

English fluency assessments during vetting to ensure seamless collaboration

4+ hours of timezone overlap with your product or engineering team

Agile reporting via tools like Slack, Jira, Notion, or Trello

Clear escalation paths for blockers or scope shifts

For staff augmentation for startups, communication speed is just as important as coding speed.

If you plan to hire remote developers for startups in the US or UK, timezone matching becomes a strategic decision, not just a convenience.

Mistake #3: No Focus on Security or IP Protection

Startups often prioritize speed and talent, but forget a critical layer security and intellectual property protection. Choosing an IT staff augmentation partner that lacks security standards can put your codebase, customer data, and product IP at serious risk.

❌ What Can Go Wrong?

Developers work in unsecured environments with no VPN or endpoint protection

No signed Non-Disclosure Agreements (NDAs) to protect product concepts or data

Git access was shared without proper permission levels

No clear boundaries around third-party code usage or version history logging

Customer data left exposed in staging or QA environments

A report by IBM found that the average cost of a data breach in 2024 was $4.45 million, the highest ever recorded. This proves that startups must go beyond code quality and prioritize IP control from day one!

✅ What to Ensure Before Signing?

A trustworthy IT staff augmentation company will:

Sign NDAs and IP assignment clauses before project kickoff

Provide secure remote development infrastructure

Use Git with access control, audit logs, and branch permissions

Train developers on data privacy laws like GDPR and HIPAA

Provide documentation on internal security practices

This level of compliance is essential for staff augmentation for startups, especially in fintech, healthtech, and SaaS sectors. If you plan to augment your software development team, make IP protection a non-negotiable.

Mistake #4: Picking Based on Lowest Price Alone

Every startup watches its budget, but choosing an IT staff augmentation partner based only on price leads to failure. Startups that chase cost over quality end up with missed deadlines, buggy code, and zero accountability.

❌ Real-World Example: When Cheap Fails

A B2B SaaS startup hired a $12/hour developer to build a Laravel admin dashboard.

Within four weeks:

APIs failed under test loads

Data wasn’t sanitized, exposing user records

Dev didn’t follow MVC conventions

No Git usage, no CI/CD, no documentation

The founder had to scrap the entire codebase and rehire a vetted Laravel developer. The “cheap hire” ended up costing 3x more and delaying investor demo day by a month.

✅ What You Should Evaluate Instead?

A smart IT staff augmentation company adds value beyond just writing code. Here’s what to look for:

Relevant experience in your industry or product stage

Turnaround time from onboarding to first commit

DevOps support for scalable infrastructure, CI/CD, and deployment

Tech match for your stack: Laravel, React, Node, etc.

Quality assurance and support coverage

If you’re using staff augmentation for startups, remember that you’re not just paying for hours; you’re paying for delivery, velocity, and risk reduction. Founders who hire remote developers for startups should weigh total ROI.

Mistake #5: Lack of Industry or Tech-Specific Experience

Hiring an IT staff augmentation partner without relevant tech or industry experience slows down your build and risks product failure.

A Laravel SaaS platform needs different skills than a React MVP or a Python-based AI tool. Yet many founders skip this evaluation and choose based on availability alone. This mismatch affects planning, speed, and even how scalable the foundation becomes.

❌ Why This Fails?

A Laravel developer unfamiliar with SaaS patterns may skip multi-tenant architecture or queue handling

A React developer without MVP experience may overengineer a simple prototype

AI-focused projects fail when engineers lack domain knowledge in ML frameworks or data ops

✅ What to Check Before Onboarding?

A strong IT staff augmentation company will match developers by:

Framework expertise: Laravel, React, Node, Python, etc.

Use case familiarity: SaaS apps, eLearning platforms, fintech tools, etc.

Deployment patterns: Single-tenant vs multi-tenant, API-first, headless CMS, and microservices

Previous portfolio: Look for examples in your product domain

For staff augmentation for startups, the match must go deeper than tech skills. It must align with product vision, tech stack, and industry compliance if applicable.

Founders should always ask:

“Have you worked on a project similar to mine before?”

Choosing to augment your software development team with the wrong expertise risks time, trust, and technical debt.

Mistake #6: No Trial Period or Developer Replacement Policy

Even top developers sometimes fail to deliver. But if your IT staff augmentation partner doesn’t offer a replacement policy, you’re stuck with poor performance or forced to start over. This delay hurts momentum, especially for MVP-stage startups or teams pushing product demos to investors.

❌ What Happens Without a Trial or Exit Policy?

The developer underdelivers, but you’ve already paid for 4+ weeks

Lack of a process to escalate performance issues

No way to rotate developers without renegotiating the agreement

You waste sprint cycles while waiting for a fix

✅ What a Good Augmentation Partner Offers?

A quality IT staff augmentation company includes:

Free replacement guarantees during the first 2–4 weeks

Trial periods to test communication, delivery, and velocity

No-penalty exit terms if performance doesn’t match the promise

Proactive replacements if developer feedback turns negative

Mid-project flexibility to scale up or rotate skill sets

For staff augmentation for startups, this flexibility keeps projects stable, even when something goes wrong. If you plan to hire remote developers for startups, make the trial clause your first question.

Mistake #7: Ignoring Delivery Process and Project Management Tools

Hiring an IT staff augmentation partner without understanding how they manage delivery leads to miscommunication, delays, and lack of control. Transparency equals trust. And for startups, visibility into daily progress is critical, it’s not enough for developers to write code. You need clear project flow, sprint alignment, and real-time collaboration.

❌ What Goes Wrong Without Process Visibility?

You don’t know what’s being worked on, when it’ll be ready, or who’s blocked

Features get delivered late or out of scope

Git commits lack comments, issues go untracked, and documentation is missing

You aren’t looped into retrospectives or sprint demos

The result? You burn time chasing updates instead of leading product strategy.

✅ Tools and Habits to Expect from a Real Augmentation Partner

A modern IT staff augmentation company will use tools that bring you inside the build process:

Jira or Trello for task tracking and sprint planning

Slack or Teams for async updates and daily standups

Git with branch control and pull request reviews

Notion or Confluence for documentation and SOPs

Weekly sprint reviews and retrospectives to evaluate velocity and adjust plans

For staff augmentation for startups, these systems mean faster issue resolution, better product quality, and complete delivery control. If you plan to augment your software development team, ask about tool stack, sprint cadence, and reporting habits!

How to Choose the Right Partner?

Selecting the right IT staff augmentation partner means going beyond availability. It requires a system to vet capabilities, processes, and reliability.

Here’s a proven checklist to help you:

✅ What to Ask Before You Sign?

#1 Do you have case studies in my domain?

Ask for real examples: Laravel SaaS, React MVPs, or Bagisto-based eCommerce.

#2 Are your developers certified in key stacks?

Look for Laravel, Statamic, or Bagisto credentials to validate skill alignment.

#3 What’s your onboarding process?

Ask how long it takes to get project-ready. Time-to-first-commit matters.

#4 How do you ensure developers are project-ready?

Evaluate screening, shadow sprints, and onboarding documentation.

#5 Do you support code reviews and retrospectives?

Process matters more than promises. Look at their workflow before trusting delivery timelines.

🔍 Why Acquaint Softtech Sets the Standard?

As a vetted IT staff augmentation company, Acquaint offers:

Laravel-certified developers with project-ready experience

Real case studies in SaaS, fintech, and marketplace apps

48-hour onboarding with milestone-based reporting

Slack, Git, Notion, and Jira integration from day one

Optional 1-week trial with zero lock-in

This is what strategic staff augmentation for startups looks like.

Bottomline

Hiring fast helps you launch, but hiring right helps you scale without setbacks. Choosing the right IT staff augmentation partner ensures fewer delays, cleaner code, secure IP, and developers who understand your tech stack and vision. In 2025, strategy wins over speed.

When you augment your software development team with a vetted partner like Acquaint Softtech, you get scalable systems, sprint-ready developers, and delivery that matches ambition

[bluellab]

Debugging Mobile Apps Like a Pro: Tools to Use in 2025

If you're building mobile apps in 2025, mastering mobile app debugging tools isn't optional; it's critical. Whether you're shipping your MVP or maintaining a production app, efficient debugging saves time, money, and user trust. 

In this guide, we'll break down everything you need to know about debugging like a pro: what tools to use, when to use them, and how they fit into a winning mobile development workflow.

Why Debugging Mobile Apps Matters More Than Ever

Let's be honest: users are impatient.

According to a study by Dimensional Research, 53% of users will uninstall an app that crashes or freezes. Worse, bad reviews from bugs can destroy your app's reputation. Debugging isn't just about fixing problems, it's about preventing user churn, ensuring stability, and delivering seamless UX.

Understanding the fundamentals of mobile app development is key to building applications that avoid these pitfalls from the start.

Here's What Effective Debugging Delivers:

Faster bug resolution and fewer production incidents

Better app ratings on Google Play and the App Store

Increased development velocity and team confidence

Fewer support tickets and complaints

Now let's look at the real tools that professional developers use to debug mobile apps in 2025.

1. Flipper - The Developer's Swiss Army Knife

Flipper has become the go-to debugging platform for mobile apps, especially those built with React Native. It supports both Android and iOS and comes with an ecosystem of plugins.

Key Features:

Inspect network requests in real time

Analyze Redux or MobX state

View layout hierarchy and performance

Use custom plugins for deeper insights

Why It Works: Flipper integrates smoothly into React Native environments. With plugins like react-devtools, redux-debugger, and network inspector, you can visualize exactly what's happening inside your app.

"If you're not using Flipper for React Native debugging in 2025, you're flying blind."

2. Android Studio Profiler - Deep Dive into Android Performance

If you're debugging Android apps natively, Android Studio Profiler is your best friend.

What It Does:

Tracks CPU, memory, and network usage

Identifies memory leaks and thread issues

Records method traces for lag analysis

Pro Tip: Combine this with Logcat to monitor error logs in real time. You can also use systrace to inspect low-level device behavior.

Real Impact:

Apps optimized with Android Studio Profiler report up to 22% better battery performance and 17% fewer ANRs (Application Not Responding errors).

3. Xcode Instruments - iOS Debugging Done Right

iOS developers swear by Xcode Instruments. It's part of Apple's development toolkit and offers powerful tracing capabilities.

Best Use Cases:

Detecting memory leaks using the Leaks tool

Finding slow UI threads with Time Profiler

Analyzing network calls using the Network tool

Expert Move: Use Instruments during testing phases, not just after release. That way, you catch performance issues early.

4. Firebase Crashlytics - Real-Time Crash Reporting

Firebase Crashlytics is a lightweight, real-time crash reporter from Google. It's perfect for identifying and prioritizing stability issues.

What You Get:

Real-time alerts for new crashes

Stack traces with contextual logs

User impact insights (how many users are affected)

Why Teams Love It: It integrates with Jira, Slack, and your CI/CD pipeline for immediate visibility.

70% of top 1000 apps on Google Play use Crashlytics to monitor production health.

5. Sentry - End-to-End Error Monitoring

Sentry goes beyond crash reporting. It helps developers trace errors back to their root cause, whether it's frontend, backend, or mobile.

Highlights:

Real-time debugging across platforms

Breadcrumb logs and performance metrics

Source map support for React Native

Dev Workflow Tip: Set up alerts in Sentry for regression errors during deployments. You’ll catch bugs before your users do.

6. Charles Proxy - Master of Network Debugging

When your mobile app relies heavily on APIs, Charles Proxy becomes essential. It acts as a man-in-the-middle for HTTP/HTTPS traffic.

Capabilities:

View and modify API responses

Simulate slow network speeds

Debug SSL and certificate issues

Who Uses It? QA teams, backend engineers, and mobile devs testing edge cases love Charles.

7. Bugfender - Remote Logs That Just Work

Need to see logs from a user’s device without asking them to reproduce the issue? Bugfender lets you log remotely and view sessions in real time.

Why It Stands Out:

Remote logging from real devices

Easy integration with Android, iOS, Cordova, React Native

GDPR-compliant and secure

Ideal For: Customer support and QA teams that want to debug without friction.

8. Instabug - In-App Feedback and Bug Reports

With Instabug, users can shake their phone and report bugs. It captures logs, screenshots, device data, and more.

Standout Features:

In-app bug reporting with detailed logs

User feedback collection

Performance and crash monitoring

Why It’s a Game-Changer: It closes the gap between users and developers.

Debugging Process: A Step-by-Step Workflow

1. Detect the Problem

Use tools like Crashlytics or Sentry for alerts.

2. Reproduce the Bug

Use device simulators or real devices. Charles Proxy helps mimic different conditions.

3. Analyze Logs

Use Logcat (Android), Console (Xcode), Bugfender, or Flipper.

4. Fix & Test

Use Android Studio Profiler or Instruments to validate the fix.

5. Deploy with Monitoring

Push your fix with CI/CD tools and monitor it via Crashlytics or Sentry.

Bonus Tips for Mobile Debugging in 2025

Automate regression testing to catch repeating bugs early.

Monitor third-party SDKs for memory leaks.

Track user behavior with tools like Mixpanel to understand bug triggers.

Test under real-world conditions — low battery, slow network, no WiFi.

Conclusion

The mobile app ecosystem in 2025 is fast, competitive, and unforgiving. The developers who succeed are the ones who master their tools. Debugging is no longer just about reading logs, it’s about using the right platform, at the right time, with the right data.

Stay sharp. Stay stable. Debug like a pro.

[sashalmaty]

Why do you want to kill Quackity, you seem so nice. :(

-Ghostbur

um. I don’t really want to kill quackity that bad..

but I mean I work for Jira and he wants to kill quackity so I have to. also quackity is not very nice to me anyway.

:/ idk I don’t really want wilbur to hate me either but I have to execute people, it’s my job

[hellsmouthhq]

( KIOWA GORDON • HE/HIM •  CIS MAN • 24 •) did you hear SAD AND ANGRY CAN’T LEARN HOW TO BEHAVE / STILL WON’T KNOW HOW IN THE DARKNESS OF THE GRAVE? it reminded me of OLIVER GAUTHREAUX. rumor has it they’re from the PAST. they say they’re a WEREWOLF, that explains why they’re loyal to THE CRESCENTS. ( reject this application pls ). 

( STEVEN R MCQUEEN • HE/HIM •  CIS MAN • 18 •) did you hear THEY ALL SAY THAT IT GETS BETTER THE MORE YOU GROW / THEY ALL SAY THAT IT GETS BETTER BUT WHAT IF I DON’T? it reminded me of JEREMY GILBERT. rumor has it they’re from the PAST. they say they’re a HUMAN, that explains why they’re loyal to THE FOUNDER’S COUNCIL.(  ew ). 

( BIE THASSAPAK HSU • HE/HIM •  CIS MAN • 32 •) did you hear OH DRUNKEN GODS OF SLAUGHTER / YOU KNOW I’VE ALWAYS BEEN YOUR FAVORITE DAUGHTER? it reminded me of JIRA TSENG. rumor has it they’re from the FUTURE. they say they’re a HALF-DEMON, that explains why they’re loyal to THE RESISTANCE. 

 ─────── WELCOME  TO  MYSTIC  FALLS  ,  OLIVER GAUTHREAUX, JEREMY GILBERT, JIRA TSENG  !  don't  you  know  ,  nothing  bad  ever  happens  here  ?  

[cizzle-freezy]

I think I'm well and truly loving Tempys! She has such a pretty design. Could you perhaps tell me more about her character/role in your story and if she was particularly inspired from anywhere...

OOOH okay so

First of all, let's start with inspiration! A lot of it heavily stems from Zelda games! A bit of A Link Between Worlds, a bit of Twilight Princess, a bit of Breath of the Wild, and a sprinkling of Phantom Hourglass... But, mostly A Link Between Worlds! Purely because of the idea of Lorule, which me and my rp group (mostly consisted of @juan-o-clocks, @hikaririnku-blog, and their S/O) expanded further upon as some sort of Mirror Realm!

Reason why I mention the whole Mirror Realm thing, she's actually Skylyn's mirror counterpart, and they're more or less besties in a sisterly way due to their shared role involving the Dream Realm (Skylyn being a lesser dream goddess, and Tempys being a lesser nightmare goddess) (Also to mention Skylyn having the theme of wind and clouds while Tempys has a general storm theme)

I do also like making Genshin Impact jokes with her, but truth is, she's existed with her storm formchange gimmick since... February 2019, according to my file explorer.

Her role in the (current) story is mostly taking on a sisterly or mentor role to the rest of the group she's been traveling with, and her arc involves her complicated feelings with godhood, where she outright rejects the title of being one, but uses the perks to take care of those she cares about over the thousands of years she's been around... but sometimes her methods are rather.... self-destructive? She'd much rather push herself well beyond her limits for the sake of finding the answer to someone's problem, than to take time to rest and recover. But she also behaves similarly for the sake of knowledge, so...

.... I mean granted, she is also the accidental driving force behind the main story of this particular RP, in her eyes, one of the antagonists is literally her fault. She tried to, for lack of better terms, "foster" an angel who was abandoned, before it willingly fell. A lot of this fallen angel's behavior and abilities is influenced off of her.

Buuuut also she does live in the shadow of a technically-deceased sister that "died" before Tempys was even born--

However!! There is also some notable AU Counterparts that dissect her for the sake of exploration! (This has gotten extremely long so I'll put a keep reading buffer!)

I'll start with Chimera first because A) She has the more obvious Zelda references + Lowkey was also inspired by Professor Layton: Unwound/Lost Future??? Except I completely misunderstood the plot due to a tangled the animated series animatic??? And then the Nickname came from a type of enemy in Mother 3???

Okay hold on none of that makes sense I feel like--

Anyways B) she was initially created for a particular arc in the Main Plot in which the Main Cast ends up fighting bad future counterparts of themselves, versions of themselves that went on darker paths for one reason or another, and Tempys's leaned into her near-obsessive interest in magi-sciences, and fear of mortals turning against gods once more, mixed with a desire for her loved ones to live long enough to see whatever answer they were seeking for their problems (+ guilt over blaming herself for the loss of a girlfriend she had prior to Jira). Which led to her experimenting on herself.

Then we have Nightterror's universe (which I had nicknamed "Inverse" Universe). The complete opposite to Chimera. Giving up her passions. Embracing her role as not only a Nightmare Goddess, but then also taking Skylyn's role as a Dream Goddess when Skylyn was... "incapacitated." Perhaps permanently.

Nightterror's goal was to trap everyone in an everlasting dream so that way everyone can be happy! No one has to die! The cycle could be halted!

Except if everyone could get what they wanted, then obviously that could cause a lot of problems. And when people start recognizing that they're in a dream... Well, she certainly tries to put a stop to those trying to stop it, even if it means bringing harm to her loved ones. Not hurt or kill them, of course, but... if she has to put them in a deeper slumber, just as she did to Gelum and Ignis, her dear sisters... but oh well! They're safe, they're protected this way! Nothing can go wrong!

She's probably the one who is the reason why Tempys has such a huge playlist compared to other OCs of mine. It's just so easy to imagine her singing these songs in some sort of musical format, and roping others in to join her (whether they want to, or not)

And then we have Supercell who is VERY underdeveloped since she's newer in concept, but she inherits what the other two don't: The storm formchanges.

She mulled over the possibilities and gave up everything except for the Storm aspect. No more passions, no more connections... and it make her a cold, uncaring, force of nature. She probably couldn't recognize her loved ones even if she tried.

[nexttothelamp]

...

[dedalvs]

Treasure of the Castilian or Spanish Language

My good friend gave me this very small book that was a translation of some of the many thousands of entries from a Spanish dictionary written at the turn of the 17th century. The original was by Sebastián de Covarrubias Horozco, and the dictionary was described, at the time, as "a large work of…slovenly erudition". The translator included only a few entries (the book is 62 pages long), but, let me tell you... You're in for a treat.

Here are some entries from a monolingual Spanish dictionary from 1617:

AJO (GARLIC)

Garlic is so well-known that one need not describe it. Garlic is not a food for courtly people. The leopard abhors the smell of it; if the leopard's lair is scoured with garlic, the leopard forsakes it. Garlic rubbed against the trunk of a tree keeps caterpillars away.

ANDRÓGENO (HERMAPHRODICTIC)

Some say that women have three wombs on the right side and three on the left and one in the middle; some wombs create males, the others females, and the one in the middle hermaphrodites. And others attribute even more wombs to women, and many allow for none of this.

APIO (CELERY)

The symbol of sadness and weeping.

BERENJENA (EGGPLANT)

Eggplants are not beautiful. They taste insipid; they sadden the spirit; they cause headaches; their bad quality comes out in the face of he who eats too many, giving it their livid or dark green color.

C

It is a silent letter. It was called the sad letter.

COCODRILO (CROCODILE)

The crocodile follows the man who flees it, and it flees the man who follows it. It flees from saffron. The crocodile that follows the one who flees it and flees the one who follows it is a symbol of glory and honor. A crocodile surrounded by wasps need not be feared.

DIAMANTE (DIAMOND)

The diamond can be worked with no instrument except another diamond and the hot blood of a goat.

DRAGÓN (DRAGON)

For a serpent to become a dragon, it first had to eat many other serpents.

FADAS (FAIRIES)

Enchanted nymphs or women who pretend they cannot die.

GALLO (ROOSTER)

The rooster has a hidden virtue: when placed in the presence of the lion, it makes the lion run. The rooster always faces its beak to the wind—this keeps its tail feathers composed. Roosters grow livelier with garlic paste.

GIRASOL O TORNASOL (SUNFLOWER)

Salute this plant.

H

Its figure is formed of the light and the strong.

HIEDRA (IVY)

The copyist making a clean copy of my papers left this word between the lines, and many other words remained with it, forgotten, as I was so sick I couldn't write with my own hand or look over what was written in another.

HORMIGA (ANT)

Some ants grow wings to lose themselves.

JIRA (PICNIC)

To a certain friend it seemed that the word "picnic" may have come from the Greek word for "pig," because the day the pig is killed is a day of joy, and because of the many good morsels that the pig provides, and furthermore the whole house rejoices, even the children, who play ball with its bladder. The pig is the rich man who has poor debtors and grunts like a pig his whole life until he dies.

LAMER (LICK)

Sheep lick salt, dogs lick blood they find on the ground. To lick plates is proper to boys who delight in belly cheer.

LECHO (BED)

Delight in leisure grew, and men invented sleeping on the delicate feathers of the breasts of swans and other birds and on mattresses of cotton and wool, and even with all this the delicate can sleep no more than if they threw themselves on brambles and thistles because of the cares and passions pricking their souls.

LEÓN (LION)

The lion isn't as brave as they say. For the Egyptians it symbolized the heart, the sun, the earth, or he who subjugates others' hearts. It suffers from mosquitoes that bite its eyes; it flees from the sight of the rooster and the rooster's voice, particularly if the rooster is white. Why this is so is unknown. Nature provided that this most ferocious of animal be less prolific than the rest, in contrast with the fecundity of the fearful little rabbit. The lion cub ravages its mother's womb with its claws. The lion forgives.

MIEL (HONEY)

Common honey is nothing but dew that falls over the leaves of grass and trees that bees deflower and lick with great appetite, swelling in size until they are forced to vomit.

OSO (BEAR)

It is unwise for brave men who hunt these wild beats to wait and fight them face-to-face, since bears tend to be dangerous.

PULGA (FLEA)

This insect is made from dust and a little dampness.

Q

"Q" is mute, because it sounds like "c" and in a certain lazy way, like "k."

SANGRE (BLOOD)

Blood of the dragon: the true blood of the dragon is the blood that runs from the dragon that has fought with the elephant, which, atop the dragon, crushes it. The dragon tries to cling to the elephant's belly as there the elephant's hide is thin, and the blood that the dragon sucks out mixes with its own and becomes the true blood of the dragon.

SIETE (SEVEN)

There are books written only on this topic.

TÚ (YOU)

A primitive pronoun of the second person.

UFANO (SMUG)

Soaked in joy like the breadcrumb in liquid that loosens and puffs.

VIDRIO (GLASS)

That which pleases us most about glass is its transparence. If glass did not break, silver or gold couldn't compare with it. The Romans used glass clocks. The ancients drank from glass cups with great delight, as do those now for the joy the sight of glass gives us: if you fill it with water, it seems like a diamond, while red wine makes it like a ruby, and white wine, a balas burning with color, a quality that cups of myrrh, being like mirrored black stones, do not possess.

VIGÜELA (VIHUELA)

Very few have learned to play the vihuela since the invention of guitars. This has been a great loss, as the guitar is no more than a cowbell, an instrument so easily played, especially if strummed, that every stable boy plays it.

X

The drunk becomes an "x" because his weak legs cross. A very erudite man censors this letter.

YESO (GYPSUM)

A stone that glints like crystal. A poison. I do not understand how some young women peel the crust off the walls and eat it like icing.

ZUCIO (DIRTY)

Sweat keeps man from being lustrous.

***

This is but a selection. I've omitted the shortened definition of elephant, which was originally twelve pages long (this guy evidently revered elephants—and roosters. And goats. I omitted that one, too, as it was long). The translator is Janet Hendrickson, and you can find this book at ndbooks.com. It's an absolute treasure.