#why would you name something futuristic a 2000 when that's only 9 years from when the first book is set

[christian-is-a-dumb-boy]

Before I start, if you happen to find stumble onto this, this is for a class that I'm in. I choose Tumblr because I realized that it's actually a very good place to do this assignment and it would be very fun and interesting to make a Visual Essay here and with my themes too, which is very Tumblr and Pinterest like (which is where I got many of these photos from). If you are in my class, I'm sorry that I came up with this idea. My Visual Essay - Media Throughout the Years and How it Shaped who I Am. By Christian M.

2010 - 2012 was a unique time for fashion. There was still some 2000's elements in our fashion, and these photos show that. It's really iconic how everybody dressed like a wealthy suburban mother despite being a 16 year old named Amber from Albany, Georgia. Fashion in this era was about looking and dressing older, and we see this in our media too. Pretty Little Liars had girls who were supposed to be 15 but dressed like 23 year old interns from NYC, and Nene Leakes literally wore the second outfit in her "The Ghetto" meme from Real Housewives of Atlanta. I was five in 2010, so obviously I wasn't dressing like this, but I thought every teen just looked old because of how they dress despite having one green streak and braces.

This type of being older mentality also was in our music at the time, but in a different way. I love early 2010's music because everybody just was going down the electro pop pipeline, and all of the songs were good. One of my favorite songs back then was Selena Gomez's 'Love You Like a Love Song", which is really underrated. It's just peak early 2010s wannabe futuristic pop, because the song has some techno in it when Selena sings. I was a huge Selena fan already because of Wizards of Waverly Place, and this song changed my life (being dramatic but you get the idea). She isn't the only one that does this. Kesha was well known for doing this and again, Kesha made some bangers. The music was all about sounding like the future, while the casual fashion was about looking older. https://open.spotify.com/track/0laYHRpNTS6i8FXdupHkJ4?si=209bee3a44664ce9 https://open.spotify.com/track/3pYDZTJM2tVBUhIRifWVzI?si=cc6cacc99b024f27

Oh 2013, how you were just....bad for casual fashion. This is where I remember analyzing what people wore and noticing what was trendy and what we liked. It was bad. Teal tops that said 'Pink' literally held us at gunpoint to wear them. I was never really experimented with clothing as a kid because in my opinion, most of the boys clothing at the time was bad, which is why all of the photos are gonna be women's clothing because they either look good, or iconically bad. That was a pet peeve with me whenever we went shoe shopping. The girl shoes were colorful and had personality while the boy shoes were black and white, or an ugly neon green or orange in some random lines if you took gym too seriously at age 8. This is when I wished I was a teen in 2013 because 2013 tumblr hipster and grunge fashion was something that I wished to lived in.

2013 music was really good or bad. Despite coming out in 2009, Party in the U.S.A I feel like was huge in 2013 which made everybody (including me) to wear American flag shirts, pants, and bathing suits. One amazing song from 2013 was Demi Lovato's Heart Attack. Back in her prime, she made some hits, and one of them was this song (Shout out to Give Your Heart a Break too, another amazing hit). It was bad for me. I only had Episode (that story app) because Demi was in it. Demi and Heart Attack accidently created my first internet phase, and it's something that Demi Lovato that has nothing to do it but still needs to pay the price for.

You saw these images and probably went "Chris, how the hell did Demi Lovato made 9 year old you into a anime fan and why?" in your head, and I'll tell you how and why! So like I said, obsessed with Heart Attack when I was a kid, and while I was on YouTube searching for the song, I found this video of Heart Attack, but in the title, it had the words 'nightcore video' in it, and it had Taiga (short girl in the first photo) in her angel outfit from ToraDora (which I never watched until recently and I recommend it along with the other three). If you don't know what nightcore is, it's just song sped up to make the singer sound anime like (which they didn't but regardless I still ate that shit up). These are top tier shows, honestly. I honestly think mostly everybody in my class would like Yuri on Ice (because it's an creative english class). https://open.spotify.com/track/5w24qGKT4DHCKHKU0jPlcK?si=df10a0191d3441ee

Every queer kid had a musical phase. That's just how it is. I don't make the rules for it. I was also that queer kid. My 5th grade teacher, Mr. DeBell, told my class in 2015 that there was a musical about Alexander Hamilton, and played You'll Be Back. I was hooked. Listened to the soundtrack regularly and found other musicals like Be More Chill, Dear Evan Hansen, Every Starkids musical. I'm a terrible singer, but I'm still gonna try belting First Burn. This was also the year I had my Percy Jackson phase, another queer kid staple. I found Percy so charming and Nico so cute in the books and it's so embarrassing, yet so funny. The Percy Jackson Musical was the first musical I ever saw too because we went on a school field trip for it. https://open.spotify.com/track/1A2gifkaEngunqZAFHUS0j?si=c753e346c04141e7

You just saw these images and are either cringing at me, cringing at younger you, or both. 2016 was where my "edgy" phase started. I wasn't edgy in the way every other guy in 2016 was edgy, if anything, cringe culture would've bullied me, but I just liked those angry "emo" songs and disturbing anime's. This is also when I discovered punk, alt, emo and goth fashion, which is all different thing and I don't care what people say, those types of fashions have always look good. People who dressed like that, especially now because cringe culture has been making a comeback, are being harassed but they are really the sweetest and down to earth people ever. People who dressed alt, or punk, or goth were always nice to me and I will always defend them. I personally don't dress like that because I was called emo for wearing a black jacket and black pants in the winter in New York, so obviously people don't like that type of fashion where I'm from, and also if you know me in real life, you know I'm a 5'6 year old guy who has the face of a twink (Tyler Oakley let's be honest), so I don't think I could pull it off. But if you look at my profile picture, it's what I would dress like if I could pull it off, and I probably would kill a fragile, sickly Victorian child before the black plaque reaches them if they saw this version of me.

These were all from different time periods except for the top picture. For 2015 - 2018 fashion that was considered "emo" or punk or goth, it wasn't but that's what i grew up on. These had a gripe on us back in 2015. I remember seeing so many people on youtube wearing that striped school girl skirt and people in pinterest showing off their cat stocking. other alt or "alt" fashion were band shirts, specifically PATD and TOP, flannels, short hair but very long hair in the front, stockings in general.

A few years later, in 2019, I got into K-pop. I wish I had a unique story but I don't. My exe who's also a close friend of mine now was just playing a K-pop song because he also likes it and it was TWIT by Hwasa and it was catchy to me, so I looked it up, found out that she was in a group, Mamamoo, and that was it. I listened to a few songs before like obviously Gangnam Style and Gentleman by PSY when they blew up and also Like This by Wonder Girls (who are legends) when I was a kid. My top three groups in their debut order are Girl's Generation (2007), Rania (2011) and TWICE (2015). If you ever wanna give the genre a try, Girl's Generation and TWICE are the two groups to listen to, as someone who of course loves and also used those two groups to get other people into K-pop both accidentally or on purpose.

I think it's really funny how 12 year old me was listening to "sad" music and music that is just "so deep and so meaningful" and then 14 - 16 year old me listened to just the most upbeat and happy, catchy music (Rania's is the only one that isn't cheerful, their music is very camp if you know what that means). https://open.spotify.com/track/6qyz1KOlGJsKYJ4ZsRmRSD?si=7cd52297243b4301 https://open.spotify.com/track/2BQIMF7CyLe2xAKzh74A4C?si=ff220ef47b3143f2 https://open.spotify.com/track/1utDFK1ARQcuZSwapf3cfb?si=97492c9682a74e12

I am really excited to see what college me is gonna get into. I still like most of these things, and it'll be interesting to see what similar new stuff are gonna come out in the next few years.

[weedoccultadvice]

So like, I have been having this weird experience analyzing the Harry Potter books lately, and please indulge me while I talk about J.K. Rowling's weird writing.

My goal was simple: read the Harry Potter books to find which parts were influenced/inspired by actual magic that people do in real life. My theory was that there was a lot more magic in the earlier drafts of the books, and that she took a lot out due to fear of backlash from America's ongoing reenactment of the Satanic Panic. For instance it's quite obvious some of their magic lessons got dumbed down so that very little of what's in the books could actually be tried in real life, and I think she took out a lot of astrology.

I also wanted to do a couple errands along the way, one of which was to check and see if it's explicitly written in the books that Harry is a cis man. I'm a trans man, SO I'D KNOW. (I'm a slow reader so all I can say for now is: the FIRST book does not explicitly state Harry is cis, but if he's trans, there's some implied worldbuilding with items like the Sorting Hat that comes into play. Also I'm fairly sure the Dursleys would have gone along with him being trans because that meant Petunia could reuse Dudley's old clothes instead of having to get girl stuff. I'mma save any other explanations on the topic for a video on it.) The reason I'm doing this read-through is because I think J.K. doesn't know anything about trans people and didn't think to make sure her wizard world was trans exclusionary. AND IT TURNS OUT THAT WE TRANS MAGIC USERS HAVE A WAY OF WIGGLING INTO MOST PLACES UNDETECTED BY NORMAL MEANS.

While I was doing the re-read I encountered two sort of broad revelations:

There's a lot of old stuff in there like Latin and Greek and tradcraft stuff, but also modern magic of the more recent era... but the incorporation of modern magic cuts off somewhere before the 80s. These books read like they were written by a early 70s magician. Like they honestly read like J.K. is a magical practicioner who just didn't read any magic books written after 1972 and never discovered what Chaos Magic is, (and also, never heard of most of what happened in the Cold War). I have never found a writer, in fiction or non-fiction, more dedicated to referencing magical stuff that most magicians alive today just don't care about anymore.

J.K. Rowling's knowledge of child abuse laws and general social mores regarding treatment of children also ceased to update itself by about the 80s. I keep getting distracted by this and having to make more side-notes about corporal punishment and researching stuff like when caning was banned in England. (HInt: it was banned before Harry went to school, so in Book 1 it's fuckin weird that he assumes that Wood is the name of a cane he's about to be whipped with.) Like, this woman raised children in the modern era, she should know when canes stopped being used.

So like, when I mention that I'm doing some research in this area, this is the sort of stuff I'm reading for and the sort of stuff I'm encountering. I haven't been talking much about this journey because it seems like any time anyone brings up anything Harry Potter up whatsoever, we've got to talk about how J.K. is a terf in every other sentence. But like, y'all: I hope you slow down and re-read the books, because J.K. Rowling is a terf who is also a child abuse apologist and normalizer. She is a terf who is also a horrible fat-shamer. She is a terf who is also an ableist with a huge problem writing about mental illness. And she's a terf who's also a sexist who undermines feminism with her actual writing of female characters.

And I honestly think she double and triples down on the terf stuff so that people will only talk about that. I think it's worth talking about the fact that not only is she an awful person in the terf way, but like, every other way imaginable too. I think it's worth talking about the fact that with all the obvious biases she has, the group she CHOOSES to publicly marginaiize is trans women, and I think she makes that choice because she thinks that she'll get more allies that way. That if she wore all of her issues on her sleeve like she wears the terfness, that she'd lose a lot of allies, that a lot of prestigious charities would stop having anything to do with her. That she uses the identity of "terf" as a shield because she knows that certain people will protect a terf, and she does this specifically so people won't notice how much of a sexist, abuse apologist, ableist, fatphobe etc she ALSO is. Opinions that could lose her a lot of money and clout if people remember them enough.

She's trying to pick on who she thinks is the most unpopular kid in the class out of the hopes that the bullies in class will be her friends instead of pile up on her, but if the bullies knew what she really thought of them, THEY wouldn't even be her friends.

Also like... I just want someone else to read the actual words in these books and see what fucked-up choices she made as a writer. I think a LOT of people remembering these books are actually remembering the movies, which are way more different from the books than you might expect.

[dailyexo]

[INTERVIEW] Baekhyun, Kai - 190927 Billboard: “Why SuperM Is Being Touted as K-Pop's Avengers”

"With SM Entertainment’s newly formed supergroup, SuperM, the company hopes to reclaim its dominance as the genre continues to push into the U.S. mainstream.

There have been hip-hop collectives and rock supergroups, but SM Entertainment’s SuperM is being touted by the company as a boy band full of leading men -- and K-pop’s most impressive lineup to date, with seven members from SM’s most successful and still-active groups.

“I see this as a new challenge,” says EXO vocalist Baekhyun, who at 27 is the oldest member of SuperM and has emerged as its leader. “There are a lot of expectations, because even though this is new, each of us comes from a different [popular] group. But there’s this awesome synergy between us.”

The group -- which will release its self-titled debut EP on Oct. 4 -- also consists of EXO’s Kai, 25, who recently became the global face of Gucci’s new eyewear campaign; WayV’s Lucas, the 20-year-old Hong Kong-born rapper, and Ten, the 23-year-old Thai artist; NCT 127’s Canadian songwriter-rapper Mark, 20, and 24-year-old leader Taeyong; and Taemin, 26, who has been in the industry the longest, joining SHINee at 14. “Our team is the aces of aces,” says Taemin.

EXO has scored four No. 1s on Billboard’s World Albums chart; in January, WayV debuted at No. 4 on Billboard’s Social 50 ranking; NCT 127 performed on Good Morning America in April; and SHINee has won the Seoul Music Awards’ popularity honor twice.

As for SuperM, its name is a nod to its roots at Korean company SM Entertainment, formed in 1995 by producer Lee Soo-man. Since then, SM has expanded K-pop’s reach, first in Asia and then in the United States. Earlier this year, SM partnered with Capitol Music Group to build a bigger following for NCT 127 in the States. And in August, the two companies, along with Capitol’s independent distribution and label services division Caroline, announced they would launch SuperM together.

Capitol CEO Steve Barnett says SuperM will “be part of our legacy to the future,” and calls Lee the “godfather” of K-pop. Lee’s résumé proves as much. In 1996, SM introduced H.O.T., largely considered the first K-pop idol group, and has continued to produce acts with stateside appeal.

Many South Korean entertainment companies have followed suit: Big Hit’s BTS has had three Billboard 200 No. 1 albums; this summer, YG’s Blackpink became the first female K-pop group to perform at Coachella; and Starship Entertainment’s Monsta X collaborated this year with French Montana on a Mainstream Top 40 hit. All three have redefined what U.S. success can look like for Korean pop groups in the second half of this decade. And while SuperM may seem like SM’s latest effort to rival its competitors, it’s equally an attempt to revive one of SM’s key sonic legacies: SMP, or SM Music Performance. The company-created term refers to dance performances set to a fusion of pop-rock, R&B and hip-hop production. SMP was best illustrated by early-2000s releases from record-breaking boy band TVXQ!, which in June 2018 became the best-selling foreign touring act in Japan, and Super Junior, which has had 21 top 20 hits on Billboard’s World Digital Song Sales chart.

SM has had U.S. crossover success before: In 2009, BoA became the first-ever K-pop star to enter the Billboard 200, and in 2012, Girls’ Generation performed on the Late Show With David Letterman. In June, NCT 127 debuted at No. 11 on the Billboard 200 with its We Are Superhuman EP. But SuperM, with its blockbuster lineup, is SM’s effort to lead the K-pop conversation in the U.S. market, as it once did in the early ’00s.

“I don’t want to compare SuperM to any of the other groups at SM, but if I had to describe [what] sets us apart, it’s the performance element,” says Taemin. “It’s not just dance, but includes vocals and rapping, where each member can showcase his ability and shine in a different way, that maybe they can’t in other groups.”

So far, SuperM has been tight-lipped about the sound and style of its album and doesn’t plan to share any tracks ahead of the set other than the already-released instrumental version of “I Can’t Stand the Rain.” One thing it has made clear, though, is its goal: “We’re doing something futuristic and more advanced than what the world has ever seen,” says Mark."

SuperM also arrives at a time when SM shareholders are demanding change. In July, SM rearranged its upper leadership at SM Entertainment Group and subsidiary SM Contents & Culture, and announced it would look to divest less-than-profitable business ventures -- mainly the SMTOWN Coex Artium complex in Seoul, a museum, café, theater and store that opened in 2015. If SuperM becomes a crossover success, the company could solidify its footing.

Despite the fact that SuperM already has debuted on Billboard’s Artist 100 chart without releasing a stitch of music, K-pop fans have expressed trepidation over its assembly. Immediately after Barnett and Lee announced SuperM at August’s Capitol Congress -- Capitol’s annual pep rally and presentation of upcoming releases — the hashtag #SuperMDisbandParty was created, as fans, concerned over how the supergroup would impact the futures of their favorite existing K-pop acts, demanded that SM and Capitol abandon the project.

SuperM isn’t fazed. Its members want to prove how strong they are as a whole -- especially when they’re together onstage. (The group is currently in rehearsals, but announced in a teaser Tuesday that it will be making its first-ever performance in Los Angeles at Capitol Records on Oct. 5 -- one day after the release of its debut EP.) “It’s always important to take the next step when people might not expect it,” says Mark. “We always try to make that challenge into something great for the fans -- and for us, as well.”

SM Entertainment’s Pre-SuperM Supergroups

S.M. the Ballad: SM vocalists from TRAX, Super Junior (and its sub-unit Super Junior-M), SHINee, TVXQ!, Girls’ Generation and EXO -- and two former SM members, one of whom is now in Cube Entertainment’s boy band Pentagon -- released two EPs under the name S.M. the Ballad. In 2010, one grouping recorded Miss You; in 2014, another recorded Breath, which hit No. 9 on Billboard’s World Albums chart.

Younique: In 2012, South Korean car manufacturer Hyundai Motor Company unveiled its new marketing campaign, “Premium Younique Lifestyle,” and worked with SM to debut a supergroup in promotion. Within two months, Younique -- members of EXO, Girls’ Generation, SHINee, Super Junior and Super Junior-M -- released PYL Younique Volume 1, featuring singer-songwriter BoA and rappers Dok2 and The Quiett.

SM The Performance: The choreography-heavy team has released only two singles since it formed in 2012, and they arrived five years apart. The group debuted with a Korean remix of Zedd’s “Spectrum” (off his 2012 debut album, Clarity) featuring members from TVXQ!, Super Junior, SHINee and EXO. And in 2017, it released “Dream in a Dream,” a solo single from WayV’s Ten that was branded a group track."

Photo links: 1, 2

Credit: Billboard.

[bottomthedonkey]

My Thoughts on the RPDR Season 9 Queens

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS IT’S COMING BACK IT’S LIKE FUCKING CHRISTMAS OVER HERE I’M SO EXCITED!

Honestly, thank God for All Stars 2. From season 8, to All-Stars 2, and NOW SEASON 9 SO SOON, I feel like I’m getting hit with back-to-back-to-back RPDR seasons, and for an addict like me, I NEED MY FIX AND I NEED IT NOW. The only unfortunate thing is unless RuPaul decides to completely kill me and release All-Stars 3 as soon as this fall, I’m going to go through absolute withdrawal in the off-season, and that’s gonna suck cuz this bitch has SPOILED ME this past year.

But anyway, this year 13 (interesting number…) brand new queens are sashaying their way into the workroom, and I could not be more excited because for the first time in like, 4 seasons…

I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHO ANY OF THESE BITCHES ARE.

Let me explain.

Each year, there are at least one or two queens that I at least know of. Season 8 I had heard of Derrick Barry through America’s Got Talent and I knew Robbie Turner thanks to Capitol Hill (an amazing YouTube series that you should all watch). Season 7 there was Miss Fame, who had an episode of Transformations with James St. James. Season 6 was a clusterfuck, with Adore from American Idol, Courtney from Australian Idol, and Laganja who was Tumblr’s Idol (like seriously, before the show premiered no one on this damn site would shut up about her). And Season 5 of course had Alaska.

This season, I’m going in with no preconceived notions about ANY of these queens. I have only their promo looks and Meet the Queens videos to go off of. I haven’t watched any of their Meet the Queens videos yet, so you’ll be getting my first impressions of them in this blog, no other research included. But as for their promo looks, I am already impressed. I don’t know what the theme was for their promo looks, but whatever it is, THANK GOD for it.

Like seriously, last season’s 1950′s (60′s?) hair salon shoot was TRAGIC. I’m sorry, I fucking hated it. Half the queens were in wigs and dresses that they would not be caught dead in, and it all just looked very unflattering. The whole point of these promos is to get us EXCITED for the season, not set the bar so low that literally whatever you do will exceed our expectations.

SO before we begin, these are just thoughts of a super-huge Drag Race fan, not someone who professionally does drag. And that’s what these opinions should be taken as, observations from the peanut gallery.

ANYWAY - LET’S GET TO THE QUEENS, ALPHABETICALLY.

Aja - Hmm… I could be a bit more impressed.

Don’t get me wrong, she looks STUNNING in this promo look. The hair gives me a weird Naomi Smalls vibe, the color scheme is fantastic, her face is beat for the gods, and I typically cannot stand septum piercings (like I’m sorry, but seriously, for me, it’s just a big bright neon sign for your nostrils, which are like the least attractive facial feature) but she makes it WORK FOR HER.

It’s just nothing I haven’t seen before, but there will be plenty of time for her to push the envelope. Let’s watch her video and make some other first impressions…

Okay, after watching the video, I’ll say that look is much more stunning even with minimal movement, and the Naomi Smalls vibe definitely grew a bit. She did kind of come across… oh how can I say this non-offensively… a bit dim? She definitely knows her fashion at least, but I’m worried she’s going to be a young queen who has absolutely no idea about gay pop culture beyond the late 2000s. Hopefully, she proves me wrong. Again, first impressions are what they are.

Alexis Michelle - I’m not a big fan of this look. I hate to go Michelle Visage here, but the fact that it’s all very yellow-green just reminds me of snot. She definitely needed to combine that chartreuse with a secondary color, instead of just hints of emerald and orange that I’m getting. It’s just not working for me. I see potential though, which is always good.

Okay, after watching the video, I’ll say the photo does the look zero justice. I’ll maintain that the neon yellow is still coming across as chartreuse and it’s just not flattering, BUT the details on the shoulders change with the lighting and it’s so much better in motion than captured still in a photo. Her personality seems like a subdued Thorgy Thor, but I like the idea of a sassy, brassy Broadway queen, we haven’t really had one of those since Jinkx, and that wasn’t really her main focal point. Count me interested, Alexis.

Charlie Hides - I’M SO SORRY I HAVE TO START OFF WITH A READ BUT OH MY GOD.

AND NOW SERVING WILDBERRY POP-TART REALNESS, CHARLIE HIDES!!!

Ah, glad I got that out of my system.

BUT SERIOUSLY, THIS IS A GOT DAMN LOOK. I AM OBSESSED. The bright blue hair, the fascinator that masks her eye, the magenta lip, the simple diamond earring, I’M IN LOVE. UGH. BEAUTIFUL. Not to mention, she looks kind of like the drag version of Renee Zellwegger. Anyone else think so?

Kay, let’s watch the video.

And let’s immediately pause the video, number one, BECAUSE SHE HAS A BRITISH ACCENT WHICH MAKES HER INSTANTANEOUSLY MORE CHARMING. And because she didn’t say her age, prompting me to look it up, and…

She’s 52.

I kinda need to repeat that again, she is… fifty… two. Years old. Years of age. Fifty…. fifty-two. I uhm…

WHAT THE FUCK.

THIS BITCH HAS NO GODDAMN BUSINESS LOOKING THIS DAMN GOOD AT FIFTY-FUCKING-TWO. SHE COMES IN HERE LOOKING LIKE A FUTURISTIC RENEE FUCKING ZELLWEGGER AND MEANWHILE I’M TWENTY FUCKING THREE AND I LOOK LIKE EVERYONE’S HOMELESS GAY UNCLE LIKE SERIOUSLY WHAT THE GODDAMN SHIT THIS IS SO UNFAIR I’M IRRATIONALLY UPSET I NEED A DRINK.

Okay, now that I have a beer, let’s continue…

FAVORITE QUEEN SO FAR.

Made me laugh out loud with the ceiling fan comment, she seems so sweet and nice (I already have her pegged for Miss Congeniality), and I have a gut feeling she’s going to go deep into the competition. She just has to make it past that first round, which for some reason is like a curse among “the oldest competitor of season blah blah blah” (see Porkchop and Tempest for details). But if this look is any indication, I doubt she’ll have a problem. She even said she was a crafty queen! And so was BenDeLaCreme! SO THERE! (Then again, Tempest teaches costume design if I remember correctly, so I could be totally wrong but I’m not going to think about that right now, because this bitch is my new favorite and fuck you if you disagree.)

Eureka - Uhm okay. I like this look, but… she’s kind of makes me think what would have happened if Ginger Minj and Penny Tration kai-kai’d and had a love-child… and that love child happened to inherit Penny’s make-up skills… and hair…

Ugh, like I’m sorry, I really like this look, IT’S INTERESTING, but the last time I saw something similar, it was on Penny, and we all know how that went.

Okay, so after her video, I’m definitely more on board. Her make-up is much more flattering when it’s not heavily edited, and NOW I’m getting more Ginger vibes rather than Penny vibes which is a huge relief. I’m excited to see her dance, because she hyped that up quite a bit, and I’m excited to see what she pulls out in terms of fashion, because I feel like she’s going to push the boundaries quite a bit. I’ll agree with her, a big girl is WAY OVERDUE to win this thing. But is it her? I’m not quite convinced, but we’ll see how that first episode goes…

Farrah Moan - UHM OKAY I MEAN WE ALL JOKED ABOUT HOW COURTNEY ACT WAS FISHY BUT I HAD NO IDEA SHE WAS AN ACTUAL WOMAN!

I MEAN, AT LEAST, SHE MUST BE, BECAUSE I’M STARING AT HER GODDAMN KID.

SERIOUSLY, TELL ME THESE TWO LOOK NOTHING ALIKE I’LL WAIT.

Anyway, the look’s a little plain. (LIKE SERIOUSLY, IT LOOKS LIKE COURTNEY ACT’S PRETTY IN PINK LOOK REIMAGINED FOR TODDLERS IN TIARAS.) BUT, she is VERY PRETTY, and like… goddamn that facial symmetry is just uncalled for. I need another drink, this is just unfair. I already have a drink. I need another. I DON’T CARE.

Okay, so VIDEO. I have no fucking clue how to feel about this queen. She’s now kind of giving me Violet Chachki meets Derrick Barry vibes, which meh, okay, villain potential but whatever. It’s interesting that she says she has a fetishy side to her fashion, because I really don’t think this look showed that besides it being made from latex, but whatever, her name is Farrah Moan, I’m sure there’ll be plenty of time for that later on in the season.

Jaymes Mansfield - I… do… not… like this look. Like… at all.

Seriously, sweetie, did you get lost on your way to the season 8 promo shoot? Cuz that’s where this look belongs. 1950′s hair salon. It all seems very dated. And plain. And did she paint her eyebrows like that? I’m just a little bit thrown off. Whatever, maybe her video will help out.

Well… it didn’t. I don’t know, something about her just kind of annoys me. I feel like she’s putting on a character, and not in a BenDeLaCreme fully-finished this-has-been-in-development-for-a-long-ass-time kind of way, I mean in a Laganja way where she thinks this is how she should act because there are cameras in front of her. It’s very off-putting. I don’t want to make any assumptions on who should be the first to go home because I’m usually wrong… but it wouldn’t surprise me if it was her… #sorryboutit…

Kimora Blac - Holy shit did Pussycat Dolls Present come back for another season? Oh wait, nope, new drag queen. Holy shit, this is a look. It really gives me a strange Pussycat Dolls kind of vibe though. I don’t know why exactly. I especially love the color scheme, the pink and black and gold, it all really comes together quite nicely.

Video thoughts: Oh no, SHE’S going to be the villain of the season. Lots of cocky remarks, she’s going to get on a lot of queens’ nerves very quickly, I can tell. I have no problems with cocky queens, but like, you better have the shit to back that up. I don’t think she’ll end up arguing with anyone, she seems more like Willam, completely unbothered by anyone who tries to come for her. But again, I’ll repeat, if you’re gonna be cocky, you better back that shit up.

Nina Bo’Nina Brown - I AM COMPLETELY OBSESSED WITH THIS LOOK.

Ugh, it’s like Acid Betty meets Phi Phi’s futuristic runway and I am FLOORED AND SHOOK AND FOAMING AT THE MOUTH. THIS IS GORGEOUS. Everything about this from the make up to the hair to he dress to the earrings I JUST CAN’T. SHOOK. FLABBERGASTED. BLESSED.

Video thoughts: Her personality, I feel like, is what would happen if Dax Exclamationpoint and Bob the Drag Queen fused together Crystal Gem-style, like seriously, it’s like the second stage in a Dax evolution. I’m completely obsessed. I’m really hoping she sticks around for a long time, because I think she’s gonna be a lot of fun to watch; interacting with the other queens, giving witty confessionals, I think she’ll be a big hit with the fans.

Peppermint - I feel like I’m overusing the two queens combine to create trope in this write-up, but fuck it, this is my thing, not yours, and she reminds me of Ginger Minj and Chi Chi DeVayne with this look. Specifically Ginger Minj’s look in the finale when she took us to church with that “Pray and Slay” song. Werq. I feel like I’ve already seen this before though, but whatevs, she looks great.

Ooh, I like her. I think she’s going to make it deep. She didn’t EXCITE me per se, but she definitely intrigued me. She comes across to me as very experienced, but also continually evolving with the times. I could see her making the finale for sure. ALSO, I believe she will be the first openly transgender competitor since Monica Beverly Hillz. Yeah, I know there have been queens in later seasons that have come out as trans after their season aired, but we’re talking openly competing on the show as trans women, and if that’s the case, Peppermint would be the second. Count me excited for this one!

Sasha Velour - I’m definitely interested by this look. Love a bald queen, and if that’s her schtick, I’m hoping that she’s a bald queen that can rock a wig. (Love you Ongina, but we only saw one wigged look from you on the show.) The eyebrow detail in the middle is kind of throwing me, like for me, if you’re going to do something weird like a unibrow, fucking go for it and own it, but this just seems at worst, unnecessary and at best, half-assed.

Video thoughts: If I’m being perfectly honest, I felt a bit bored by her personality BUT what she was talking about did intrigue me. I’m thinking she’ll go deep into this competition as well, but I’m worried she won’t stand out from the rest in acting challenges, or some weird “sell your own product” commercial challenge. Hopefully, she proves me wrong.

Shea Coulee - OH MY GOD FUCK ME ALL THE WAY UP WITH THIS AFRICAN GODDESS REALNESS. I haven’t seen an African-inspired look this on point since Bebe Zahara Benet in season fucking ONE. I haven’t seen her video yet, but I’m hoping that this is her aesthetic and she continues to turn out looks like this one because I am FLOORED.

Video thoughts: Got a little bored halfway through, BUT she seems very talented, and it doesn’t come across as cocky or conceited, it comes across as sure of herself, and that’s gonna come in handy when establishing a fanbase. I can see her going deep into the competition, don’t know if she’s finale-worthy, but I didn’t think Naomi was going to the finale either, so we’ll have to wait and see.

Trinity Taylor - Fuck me up with the cobalt realness, I mean YAS. Queens who can pull off strange hair colors and make it look very natural get an A+ in my book. I will say that it seems just a HAIR much. I could have done with a little less jewelry, or maybe the sequined sleeve could have just been plain latex. I don’t know. Otherwise, it’s FANTASTIC.

Hmm… after the video… now that I can see more of the look, it definitely needed to be edited. It’s not just a hair much, it’s a LOT much. Like one or two or five things needed to go. I feel a little concerned for her. I don’t get that same gut feeling that she’ll make it far in the competition as I am with a lot of the other queens this season. But again, first impressions are just that, and time will tell, et cetera et cetera…

Valentina - You know, it’s funny, this one I can’t really compare to another queen. I’m trying to think of someone she could remind me of but I’m drawing a blank. This is very original, from the mint green to the hair, to the unique way her eyebrows are drawn on, the earrings, it’s fabulous! I’m wondering how she’ll come across in the video…

Hmmm… after the video… it’s weird. I love this look, but again, I’m not getting that gut feeling that she’ll make it that far in the competition. Something is just throwing me off here. She’s probably one of the best, if not the best looking Latina queens they’ve cast for the show, but nothing about that video screamed talent in any other area other than fashion. Again, hoping she’ll prove me wrong because she does interest me…

So based on first impressions alone, here’s how I’m ranking these queens:

Charlie Hides

Nina Bo’Nina Brown

Peppermint

Shea Coulee

Eureka

Farrah Moan

Kimora Blac

Alexis Michelle

Sasha Velour

Valentina

Aja

Trinity Taylor

Jaymes Mansfield

This was actually really difficult. The only one I really could not stand was Jaymes, and the rest of the queens, it came down to look + video = ?. And I’m probably going to be dreadfully wrong on these rankings, I’m thinking all of these rankings are all going to be swapped around drastically over the course of the season.

So, I’m hoping to be back with recaps for the season. I know I quit last season after episode 2, but life happens, and depression happens, and therapy happens and blah blah blah whatever.

[destressjournal]

Ranking all (109?) DCOMS

Yes! It will be a challenge but I already ranked all 58 Disney animated movies, and once I complete more rankings, maybe I’ll start a blog/podcast about that. Who knows.

The easy part about ranking the Disney films was that each film was unique. The Disney channel films....many of them are pretty similar so I have to remember what each film was about. And this blog can be my way of writing those thoughts down!

So here are my rankings for the 10 first ever Disney channel films!

10. You Lucky Dog

I never heard of this film before i decided to watch all of these in order. And I think there’s a reason. It’s fucking weird. Someone must have been high or something when coming up for the premise of this movie. Like I thought it was supposed to be a movie like Beethoven or Air Bud, just a cute little dog movie about a wacky dog that turns a family up-side down. But no, it’s a dog...therapist??? That had the ability to channel a dog’s mind when he was 14, yet built an entire business based on that ability that he LOST and never got back....and people bought into it??? It’s just the weirdest movie and I really didn’t enjoy a grown man acting and talking like a dog throughout like half the movie. It was weird. I liked the dog. But the rest I didn’t like.

9. Genius

This movie was also weird....but it was better than You Lucky Dog. The logic and the plot points of the story just didn’t line up for me, and the main character was extremely cringey. I had to pause every 10-15 minutes because I literally couldn’t take it. His acting was great! But the lines he was given aren’t good. The story is also really weird, like he was lying about his identity, enrolled himself in middle school while being a college student, faking an entire personality and purposely failed most of his classes, tried everything he could to be in two places at once throughout the whole movie, almost killed everyone in the ice rink due to his negligence of his machine, all to impress some girl. None of the characters I thought were believable, not because of their acting but because of the dialogue and the story, it just doesnt make any sense. But at least it’s about a kid genius and NOT a dog therapist, lol.

8. Brink!

When I first saw this movie I thought it was fine, and then I sat with it for a bit and it got further down my list. There are parts of the story that don’t make sense to me, like don’t you have to compete in the invitational to compete in the championship? Cuz the main characters didn’t even show up and they’re still able to enroll their team in the finals?? And it’s supposed to be a national event of the best teams in the country, and these kids literally just stroll in out of nowhere with their dinky dog groomer shirts, can just sign up, and then beat all the professional sponsored teams?? So yeah, this movie loses points because the logic doesn’t line up. But I think the lesson is good, that who you are is different than what you do, and that your value shouldn’t be determined by how productive you are at something. The execution of that lesson is a little iffy though.

7. Under Wraps

The first ever DCOM and it shows. DCOMs will never be like this ever again! It was more mature and dark than anything we have today on Disney channel. That alone gives it some points. However, as a movie, it’s missing the connection you make with the characters. I just personally didn’t think any of them were interesting. The mummy was cute and funny at times, but sometimes the slapstick jokes and gags were a little over the top. Also, I just kept hearing Patrick from spongebob every time the mummy made any noise, and that ruined it a little for me. I know it’s the same voice actor lol. But I do like the touch that the main character’s mom’s bf are the same actor, making the connection between them a little easier. And at least the logic (pretty much) lined up for this movie. I might watch every Halloween, we’ll see.

6. Can of Worms

This movie was only SLIGHTLY better than Under Wraps. And that’s only because I felt a good connection with the main character, Mike. You can tell because I actually remembered his name. He’s a relatable character to me and his acting was very good. I have personally met people that talk and act exactly like Mike, and I honestly think his character represents someone on the autism spectrum very well (I’m autistic too so don’t get mad at me stereotyping). I’m not saying he represents everybody, or even me, just that I’ve met people like him before. His desire to fit in and be normal, and then later his desire to get off earth, was I think the most powerful part of the movie. He truly believed he was an alien from outer space because it made more sense in his mind than believing he was just different, because there was no possible way he could be the same species if everything he says and does is considered “weird”. I related SO hard to this, because it’s exactly what being autistic can be like. I was really into the first half of the movie, and then....the second half with the aliens was just dumb. It became a generic alien monster movie, with some tiny good parts sprinkled in. But the ending just didn’t make sense....mike still plays football at the end even though he’s not good and doesn’t like it....? Like he’s still trying to force it because he thinks “this is where he belongs”. Like you could have easily showed him building robots with new friends in robotics club (something that he’s good at and likes) and then hanging out with the rest of his friends after to send that message home. That you can usually find a place where you belong. So anyway, this movie is stuck in the middle for me.

5. Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century

Now we’re gonna get into the more popular ones. I think I would have enjoyed this so much more as a kid, but I didn’t grow up with it. This was my first ever viewing. The movie itself is pretty good, and it’s so interesting to see what people in the late 90’s thought about what the future would be like. Flying cars, computers you can hold in your hand, taking commercial flights to space, etc. but it was all still based on 90’s technology at the same time, it was really interesting. The biggest aspect of the movie that makes it lose points for me, is Zenon as a character. I like her, don’t get me wrong! But she hardly changes throughout the movie. Yes she learns to like earth but then at the end of the movie she’s happy to be back in space and that’s it. Now, I haven’t seen the sequels yet, but JUST based on this movie alone, I think it would have been more valuable to show her traveling back and forth, or say “Hey Greg, wanna see each other next week?” Just something to show that she likes earth now. But even then, that’s the only aspect of her that changed. All the antics she got in were justifiable, she was right the whole time. It was on everyone else to change to see her perspective. And I just don’t like when movies do this. I need characters to have reasonable flaws and learn to either accept them or change them depending on the situation. Also, this is just a little nit pick, but WOW that song at the end was so bad yet it’s STILL stuck in my head...they call this a rock and roll song yet I didn’t hear any guitar or bass. Even the drums were just kicks and pops made on the computer, that doesn’t sound like what an actual drum sounds like...It’s just a pop song. Call it for what it is people! The lyrics were good tho.

4. Halloweentown

I’ll probably get some hate for putting this at number 4, but when I was watching another review on a YouTube channel, they pointed out how annoying Marnie was, and now I see it. She’s not unbearably annoying, but enough to be like “wow, this kid is a bit of a brat. I would never talk to my mom like that.” On one hand, I see how she matured throughout the movie, so I think it makes sense for her to be a little obnoxious and naive, she’s just a kid. On the other hand, you’re supposed to like your main character and root for them, which doesn’t help if you think they’re a brat. I didn’t grow up with this movie either, so maybe that’s why I didnt immediately put it as number 1, cuz there’s no nostalgia factor. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t like it. It’s still a good movie that I will watch every halloween! I liked the characters and the story, and things seemed to flow together pretty well. The only reason it lost points for me, were the over-the-top gags. I get it, the movie is made for kids, and I always keep that in mind when I watch these, but sometimes it gets a little too silly for a movie about a dark overlord who wants to get rid of humans. Idk. Still like it though!

3. The Thirteenth Year

Okay, I admit it. This one is a guilty pleasure for me. I’m sorry. I feel like Halloweentown should be at 3 and this one at 4 if I want to be truly objective, but I have too many nostalgia feels for this movie. And I like that the tone is more serious and there aren’t any silly over-the-top gags. But that doesn’t mean this movie is perfect, it’s at number 3 for a reason. The last few times I watched this were when I was a kid in the early 2000’s, so as a kid I loved this movie. And I was also obsessed with mermaids and I wanted to be one so bad. This movie kind of fulfilled this dream for me, and other movies like Aquamarine and The Little mermaid. But anyway, after watching this as an adult, it doesn’t exactly hold up. Sam is kind of an annoying character who doesn’t add much to the movie. She’s just the popular girl, and another reason for Cody to stay with the popular crowd. She gives him a picture of herself as a birthday gift...? I think it would be an okay anniversary gift for adults who are dating, not kids. It just rubs me the wrong way. Also, the kid who plays Cody is not a very good actor...he’s just okay. Everything else about the movie, still love!!

2. Smart House

I grew up with this one too, and again, they try to imagine what a futuristic house would look like in the 90’s. And half that stuff actually came true with things like Siri and alexa, which is pretty neat to see almost 30 years after this movie came out. Still what kid wouldn’t want to have a giant screen on their wall showing something like a music video, the beach, or a basketball game. Every kid wanted to live in that smart house back then. The movie still holds up pretty well today, not because of the technology but because of the message and the characters. All of the actors and actresses were wonderful! The story is so sad but believable. I’ve never gone through a parent death, but I’ve had friends that have, and it’s such a weird dynamic when the other parent starts dating for the first time after. I can’t imagine what effect that can have on a young child. At least when my friends went through it they were at least in high school, if not, college. So they had a bit more understanding/maturity about it. But yeah, the kid who plays Ben rocked his part. Some tiny nitpicks include the house itself being somewhat outdated now, and the side characters presence in the film. They don’t have much significance, idk. The movie really tugs at your emotions, and is definitely the movie that got me closest to crying so far.

1. Johnny Tsunami

This was my first viewing, as I didn’t grow up with this one either. Compared to Smart House, which is honestly just an emotional roller coaster, this is just a good movie imo. It was more epic, it had more diversity, great acting, and a plot that made sense thematically. There wasn’t over-the-top slapstick gags, and I think it teaches good lessons about life. I honestly thought the grandpa was gonna die because that’s usually what happens to old wise mentors, but I’m glad it stayed away from that trope and actually brought him back for the end of the movie. I thought that was an interesting touch. Basically, while I was watching these I was thinking “okay this can be done better” “I don’t like this” “this feels too forced”, but with this one, I was just watching a movie most of the time. I honestly don’t know how it could be much better. It’s still not the best Disney channel movie ever (I’m guessing), and it still has some flaws. For example, the girl character was being such a flip flop throughout the whole movie and was being a little too mean to Johnny. Another tiny nitpick is when johnny’s parents are like “yeah we’re moving to Vermont” I was expecting a little more pushback from Johnny but he’s like “awww okay” and idk what to think about it because it could be considered out of character. Otherwise, this is a great unique movie that I will definitely rewatch in the future.

For every movie that I watch, I’m going to review it separately and that’s how I’ll keep track of my thoughts as I go through each film. But this is where I stand for the first 10 DCOMs. Unlike the Disney animated classics, I don’t know what my number one film is. Right now it’s Johnny Tsunami but that is definitely going to change. I can’t wait to see what my personal favorite will be! It may come down to several.