#with some hints at something deeper that never get explored

[wild-jackalope]

First time having sex is awkward!

pairing :: Virgin!Megumi x Virgin!Reader

warning :: college/university AU, awkward sex, safe sex (finally), lingerie stuff, fingering, slight overstim, very soft, would you hate me if I said this wasn’t rly proof read, need this out of my drafts asap

note :: very inspired by @sonotpattismith fic Hold Me And Explore Me, here’s the link!

For the years you’ve been friends with Megumi you’ve never ever known him to discuss a single intimate topic. For the five months you’ve been in a relationship with him, that fact never changed.

Megumi was a prude, basically.

It wasn’t as though you were one to spill secrets about your personal moments either. Occasionally you’d let the odd story slip when drunk (mainly letting loose some poor experiences being felt up during your younger years of dating), but other than that, you kept your mouth shut.

So when Maki asked you a completely out of pocket question, both you and your boyfriend turned to ice.

“Have the two of you even fucked yet?”

No. Of course you haven’t. You hadn’t even come close! Despite the air being thickened by everyone’s collective drunkenness, you felt a small part of you would resent Maki for the rest of your life after putting you in this situation.

Your jaw slacked open and you took in a breath. The truth lilting on the tip of your tongue.

“Don’t ask personal questions like that.” Megumi cut, to everyone’s collective disappointment, they groaned. Somewhat tipsy himself, Megumi still had the clarity to get the others off your scent and thankfully his harsh words had sent them on another chatting spree devoid of your sex life.

Maki, keen gaze still locked on both you and Megumi, muttered a swift. “Guess you haven’t put that set to use, huh.” Before taking a sip of her vodka mix.

You flushed immediately, embarrassment mixing with the warm alcohol in your bloodstream, coating your cheeks a deep plum colour. Mortification filling your wide eyes, you glanced at Megumi who held an unbothered expression, one of boredom and calm.

But for a split second, his dark blues swiped over you and you caught the slightest hint of curiosity in his narrow gaze. What set?

You snapped your head forward, neck aching from the whiplash.

The ‘set’ Maki was referring to, was bought during a shopping trip Nobara invited both of you to. She needed a refill on her skincare items, Maki needed a new set of sports bras and you needed an excuse to leave your dorm room.

Maki’s chosen store was the closest, so the three of you headed there first. Inside, your eyes caught on the walls covered with expensive underwear made of lace and silk hanging on thin mannequins.

“I should get a new bra, too, my favourites are getting worn out.” Nobara mumbled, looking at the odd racks assembled by colour and size.

A particularly captivating bodysuit grabbed your attention; a smooth ivory piece decorated with straps and shining gemstones, having tuffs of silk peak out of the sides like a skirt and wings. The shiny fabric called to rest comfortably against your skin. It was the most expensive, being shown off at the front of the store to lure young women who wanted to wrap their pretty bodies and show off to their boyfriends. Just like you.

“That one’s too cutesy.” Nobara uttered, following your tranced gaze. “Lingerie is a scam anyway, truth is men don’t even care. They just take it off.”

That was right, Nobara had had sex. Unlike you.

“Would you… help me pick something nice out?” You asked, a gentle and shy invitation.

Despite her previous slander of lingerie, her cheeks glowed in excitement. “Sure. For you and Fushiguro, right?”

“I guess so.” You kindly but nervously replied. Nobara lead you deeper into the store, coming to a back wall with more designs, all notably darker with plenty more lace.

She gazed over the options. “What do you usually like to wear?” She asked.

“I don’t know— nothing?” You responded, awkward hand lifting to fiddle with a purple bralet.

Nobara side eyed you, giving a suspicious look before she asked— much too casually. “First time?”

“Yes.” You nodded, the fabric of the bralet suddenly becoming very interesting!

“First time with Fushiguro, or?” Her trail lilted delicately, hopefully displaying herself as a safe person to spill your secrets to.

“First, first time.” You uttered quietly.

In a quick swish, Nobara grabbed your shoulders and pulled you to her. “Seriously?” She asked.

“Yes, seriously. Is it hard to believe?” You frowned, too mortified for her questioning.

She nodded. “Yes! You’re a total catch.”

“Well, it’s not like I’ve never done anything.” You added, hands defensively rising to your chest. “I’ve been in relationships before, I’ve—” you lowered your voice. “I’ve fooled around.”

“Oh I bet you have.” She added, grin replacing her surprised gape.

“Stop it, you’re so embarrassing.” You pushed against her shoulder, freeing yourself from her death grip.

“Okay, first set, first set.” Mind now back to the mission, she returned to the racks of bras and thongs. “You should have something simple, but sexy. Black, too.”

“Why black?” Plenty of other colours filled the store.

“Fushiguro likes dark things, so he’ll like black on you.” The sensible explanation left her with a shrug.

Would that really be the case? Would Megumi look at your body being cupped by expensive black fabric and yearn for you? You could hardly imagine it. Megumi was never eager for anything, he was the type of guy to react to things with tame calmness. Would he blush? Reach to touch you? Kiss you?

Nobara handed you a neat, black matching bra and thong. “Go try this on.” She instructed, offering you an encouraging smile.

Face to face with your lewdly dressed body and flushed expression in the dressing room only made your anxiousness grow. Nobara had picked a beautiful set, a nicely patterned lace bra broken up by thick black straps pushed up your boobs, coined by a gemstone hanging off the middle. Small ripples of black sheer peaked from the supportive boning, similarly decorating the thin black straps curving around your hips holding up the lacy thong which too, had a gemstone hanging off the centre.

Fuck, Nobara had good taste.

But despite the fact you bought the matching underwear a month ago, nothing came of it. You’d worn it every single time you saw Megumi; a casual date at the park, an afternoon out at the movies, a night in lounging around. Just in case, you had thought, just in case something happens.

And because you wore them everytime you saw Megumi, they clung to your body now, at the very party Maki judged you for not having shown them off yet.

You sipped at your bitter alcohol mix, avoiding both the stares of your boyfriend and your friend. Nobara’s chanting became a welcome distraction, telling Yuji to ‘drink drink drink!’ Down his can of rum. Everyone cheered at his final gulp, including you.

Megumi, however, remained silent.

When the night came to a tired end (at about two in the morning), Megumi and yourself walked to your dorm in a sobering stumbled.

Arms around his neck, you brought Megumi into the plush bed with you, planting messy kisses along his hairline and laughing about the mischief of the night. “Itadori is going to be so hungover.” You muttered.

“Hm.” He thoughtlessly replied, craning his head so your lips made contact with his instead. He leaned over you, slowly letting his body sink into yours and sandwiching you between the bed and him.

In these moments of privacy you felt closest to Megumi. He’d unabashedly pull you in, kiss you and hold you tight.

You hummed against his lips, bringing your hands up to rake your nails through his hair, a trick you knew would immediately cause him to go soft against you, and he did, waist falling between your legs and hands twitching against your sides. He groaned softly and you wished you could record the sound and add it to a private playlist.

Chasing the mild heat in your abdomen, you furthered the kisses shared, moving into making out instead of peppery pecks. He followed you, daring to nip at your bottom lip (a habit he’d picked up from the one time you did it to him).

Your legs wrapped around his hips, pulling his warmth in closer. That shift was what made both your clothed sexes connect. Jolted by the feeling, Megumi slipped from your lips to your ear, whispering a breathy command.

“Show me your set.”

He wasn’t even quite sure what he was asking, but he had an idea, a lewd idea. He knew he needed to know what Maki was talking about, what she knew about his girlfriend that he didn’t.

You gulped, an audible squeak catching in your throat. “You really want to see?” You asked.

He nodded silently, watching your every move as you hesitantly lifted your shirt up and over your head. His narrow eyes grew wide at the sight of your tits cupped by the stunning black garment. You hid in the pillow behind you, digging half your face into the plush at his bewildered expression.

Megumi’s hand had already began moving without him thinking. In what seemed like slow motion, his large palm came to fit around your boob. His thumb rubbed over the soft lace and because of its thin fabric, you gasped as it tickled your sensitive middle.

The noise sobered Megumi from his drunk, tranced state and he pulled his hand away like it had acted on its own free will. He sat up, eyes concentrated on your flushed, messy figure. Fuck, he was so in love with you it hurt.

“I should go.” He uttered softly, pressing a curt kiss to your head.

“What? But—” You babbled something, voice cracking.

“This isn’t a good time, it’s late, you’re drunk.” He reassured your rejection with another kiss.

“You won’t stay?” You asked, leaving you as more of a plea.

“Not tonight.” He finished. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You were then left empty and cold, and despite wrapping yourself in layers of blankets, you felt as naked as ever. The question what was wrong with you? Pulling you into a drunkenly tear filled sleep.

The next morning, the barking of your third alarm pulled you from your slumber. You smacked at the screen of your phone, lifting your now throbbing head from the sweet embrace of your pillow.

Almost immediately Megumi’s rejection of you last night reminded you why your eyes were so crusty with dried tears. However, you didn’t have much time to linger on it, already being late for your morning lecture.

Lunch was when you saw Megumi next. You were reading over your papers in the yard with a furrowed brow, your phone to your ear.

“What do you mean, you don’t know?” You asked.

“I mean I don’t know! You’ve know Fushiguro pretty much the same amount of time I have, why don’t you know if he’s had sex?” Nobara snapped back, voice slightly fuzzy through your phone. “Oh, let’s not forget the fact you’re also his girlfriend!”

“I know, I just— ugh. Why is this so complicated?” You huffed.

“It really isn’t, girl. You’re just making it complicated.” She added back, unfiltered judgment in her tone.

“I know, I know.” You were weak before her unwavering moral superiority.

“Talk to him. Neither of you did anything wrong, he was probably still drunk and didn’t want to show you he had whisky dick or maybe he is a virgin and was just too nervous to fuck you.” You wondered for a brief moment who Nobara was around that could hear her talk about your (lack of) sex life.

“I doubt it.” You murmured. Finally your eyes caught the tall shadow that was Megumi and you fiddle to catch your phone as it dropped from your hand. “I gotta go, he’s here. Bye!”

One hand deep in his pocket and the other carrying a bag bloated with book, Megumi walked to you, standing tall over your sitting self.

“Nobara?” He asked, head jutting towards your phone.

“Yup, she uh— just won’t stop calling me.” You breathily laughed, stupidly covering the fact you had been the one calling her nonstop.

His careful eyes surveyed you, immediately grabbing something was amiss. “Hungover?”

Lord knew you weren’t going to bring up last night if he didn’t. You’d rather let it die in the past. “I was this morning, but I’m alright now.” You offered a kind, but forced smile. “You okay?” You returned, gazing up at him.

With the baggy top you’d hurriedly put on this morning, Megumi could see past the collar, eyes catching the familiar black bra. You were so rushed this morning, you didn’t have time to change it. His heart squeezed painfully, hand twitching as it recalled the feeling of the fabric. The same hand that fucked his dick until he came thinking of you once he was alone. Fuck, he was pathetic. “I’m fine.” He gritted. Even through the drunk haze of the prior night, that memory of you below him was as clear as day in his mind.

“You’ve got baseball this afternoon, right? Do you want to come over afterwards?” You asked.

“I can, why?” So you could show him more of your gorgeous body?

“Just to hangout, n’ chat.” You added, as casually as possible. Technically you weren’t lying.

“I’ll come.” He assured. His hands lifted to touch you, but Megumi decided better, shoving it back into his pocket. “Will I see you at practice?”

“I’ll be there.” You smiled.

You’d watched Megumi play baseball since he was young, having been one of his biggest supporters (besides Gojo, of course) since you two became friends. You’d love to watch him play, sitting on a nearby bench with a book to read or your computer to finish an assignment.

Megumi had never admitted it out loud, but before each swing of his bat, he’d gaze out into the empty audience chairs to catch a glimpse of you. You were always there, always looking at him.

It never failed to make his heart swell, even after the two of you began dating, seeing you sit there just for him was the kind of loyalty that made Megumi obsessed with you.

Today, though, it seemed Megumi had more on his mind than he usually did. It was so obvious in the way he played. He was distracted.

On the walk back to your dorm, you could tell he was clearly unimpressed by himself.

Once inside, you excused yourself to the bathroom just to freshen up.

Reflecting from your mirror like a ghost haunting you, hung your cleanly washed thong. Now dry and ready to be worn. Maybe, just maybe, finally ready to be seen. The old habit still clawed you, just in case, you thought, just in case something happens.

You slipped out of the bathroom, a sudden nervousness taking you. “Hey, can we talk?” You asked, finding a seat next to Megumi on your bed.

His furrowed expression disappeared the moment he heard your tone and his eyes lifted to you expectantly. You inhaled.

“I’ve got to tell you something.” You stated, voice wavering despite your desire to sound sure.

“Yeah?”

“I’m a virgin.” You finally uttered.

“Oh, okay.” You could hear in his voice, the slightest hint of bewilderment. Mostly at the suddenness.

“I’ve never had a dick in me, okay? So I’m nervous.” You let the words out like Megumi had you tied up, forcing a confession out of you. A tight pause filled the air as you let the weight of your secret fill the room.

“Why are you so embarrassed? It’s not like I’ve had sex, either.” Megumi’s narrow eyes squinted at his furrowed brow. His cheeks tinted pink, clearly out of his comfort zone to admit this.

“You haven’t?” You felt free of an imaginary weight that lifted from your chest.

“Yes? You’ve been my only girlfriend, I assumed you would’ve just guessed.”

“So nothing? No hookups or anything?”

“Not my thing.”

Your chest bubbled with a freeing excitement. You’d have to thank Nobara later and let her know she’s the goddess of advice. “Thank God, I was so worried.” You exhaled.

“Worried?” His hand came to grasp your arm. Had he seriously done something to make you worry?

“When you left last night, I thought I did something wrong or—”

Fuck. Of course. “No, you didn’t.” He squeezed your arm. He was just an idiot, a drunk, horny idiot. “It was the alcohol, I didn’t think it was a good idea. You didn’t do anything. You were perfect.” His eyes avoided you, cheeks growing darker.

Was he embarrassed? You kissed his jaw, eagerly planting a peck free of doubt.

The kiss seemed to break him from his mumbling as he adjusted your aim, pulling your chin up and kissing your lips. He kissed you again, and you could feel it in his affection too, an excitement to explore you, be the first to learn your body.

To reach his lips better, you moved to straddle Megumi, planting yourself on his lap and letting yourself be enveloped by his affection.

He pulled you down with him as his back fell into the mattress and as you rocked on his lap, you felt the line of his dick through his pants.

Then reality hit you. You two were going to do it. You sat up, blinking at the boy beneath you.

“…Hey.” You peeped, a stupid joking tone wrapping your words.

“Hey.” Megumi replied, his own words threaded with dull awkwardness.

“Do you.. come here often?” You continued, hands fiddling with the collar of his shirt.

He exhaled sharply, amused. “I do.”

“Same.” You nodded slowly. Another flustered moment of silence passed over you.

Megumi’s mind seemed clouded and unbothered by the pause, eyes becoming focused on your shirt. You could guess what he was thinking about.

“I’m wearing it again.” You muttered. His eyes flickered to you, holding an intense gaze you’d only seen him have in serious situations of concentration. “Do you want to see?”

His jaw clenched, and he nodded once. “Yes.”

You offered your shirt to him, prompting him to be the one to take it off you. His thick hands took the fabric, slowly pulling it up and over your head. His eyes caught on the black set again. Now, his gaze weakened, still tense but clouded by a soft desire.

Finally letting in to what he really wanted to do to you the previous night, Megumi sat up, cradling your abdomen to keep you stilled on top of him as he pressed a kiss to the skin that spilled out of your bra. He lightly sucked, no doubt hoping to leave a red mark.

“Megumi.” You softly murmured. The sound pricked his ears like a melody. He continued, more driven kissing and sucking up until he reached your collar bone and cheek.

Face just below your own, Megumi gazed up at you with his usually bored eyes, but currently they were anything but, holding a softness for you that could only be explained away by love. Riddle in the blue of his irises held the deep specks of lust. You wanted more, wanted to see his eyes flutter from pleasure.

Megumi’s thoughts similarly danced along the same trail as your own but despite his somewhat tame expression they were nasty compared to your own. Mostly, they lingered south. His fingers hooked the sides of your pants.

“I want to see the bottom pair.” He murmured, fierce eyes pinning you to his command.

“O-Okay.” You shyly huffed, moving back so Megumi could undress you with more ease. His eyes lingered on your own as he slid off your bottoms, like a boy closing his eyes as he opened his birthday gift so he could be more surprised by the reveal of it fully unwrapped in front of him. As much as you wanted to shy from his gaze, you couldn’t.

Finally your pants were off, tossed off the bed with your shirt. You watched his gaze flicker to your thong, and you shivered at the exposure. He leaned in, hands resting on your knees in an attempt to let you know he wanted them open, you didn’t comply, far too embarrassed. “Pretty.” He muttered. The swarm of butterflies in your stomach fluttered uncontrollably.

One of his hands snaked down your thigh, coming to grasp the gemstone hanging from the front strap. He twisted it between his thumb and index finger, and you badly wished it he’d play with your clit like that.

Then, his hand dragged over the lace fabric, so dangerously close to your bundle of nerves that your legs creaked opened on pure instinct. Megumi huffed at your bodies desire to be touched, taking the moment of weakness to slip himself between your legs.

Lower now, his fingers dared to slide over your clit. You gasped and his hand stunted.

“Feel okay?” He breathed, lust kissed eyes glowering at you. Don’t make him stop, not yet. Not when he was finally able to feel you.

“Feels good.” You murmured. Megumi’s jaw slacked and he panted a suppressed grunt at your pathetic words. Almost immediately he continued the motion, familiarising himself with what spots of your cunt would made you hiccup and your tummy twitch. “M-Megumi.” You whined with no real purpose behind your plea.

Hot, it was becoming too hot. He left your pussy for a second, pulling off his shirt and tossing it like he had your pants. Your cheeks blazed at his thin but muscled body. You’d only ever caught sight of his abs on a windy day, never had you seen his bare chest before. His skin was so smooth and light, your fingers begged to memories each curve and bump.

He closed the space between you, coming to press messy pecks on your lips whilst his hand returned to your cunt. Your hands rested against his thudding chest, letting yourself fall into the bedding.

“I can feel your heart beat.” You huffed, somewhat excited by the rapid pace. “Nervous?” You asked, a teasing prod.

“Eager.” He corrected, collecting your lips in another kiss.

His ring and index calmly slid up and down, the tips of his fingers daring over the patch of wet forming around your sex. You wanted to do the same, wanted so desperately to feel more of his body, but your nails stilled, dug into his chest waiting for some kind of permission you couldn’t even ask for.

And Megumi, the utter mind reader, took your wrist with his free hand and led you on a trail down his abdomen. He must’ve felt your hesitancy and made the move for you, that, or he was desperate to feel your hands wander over his body.

And your featherlight fingers curved over the dips of his abs. In reaction to your sweet touch, you felt his rubbing become messy and he pressed hard against your clit. You gasped into his mouth, nails scraping against his tight stomach and his jaw clenched tight, swallowing a grunt.

“More, Megs, please.” You blurted, hole dripping and utterly prepped for whatever Megumi wanted to stuff inside you.

He remained somewhat levelheaded, thinking that if he fucked you now, he’d cum too quick and this would be all over. He couldn’t bear the thought of leaving you unsatisfied. So despite his aching cock, his fingers dipped under your thong and circled your weeping cunt. He was going to savour every single second.

Slowly, he pushed past the rings of your wet chasm. And fuck. His fingers and dick must’ve been connected, because he could’ve sworn he felt the ghost of your inside around him just like they were around his fingers.

His cock twitched, leaking a fat blob of precum. “Shit.” The way your pussy jumped at his curse didn’t go unnoticed by him.

“Oh God— Megumi, hng.” Your legs weakened, turning to jelly at the feeling of his warm fingers pressing against your tight, sensitive walls. Megumi’s two digits were thicker and rugged from gripping a bat all his life, the perfect size and texture against your trembling insides and otherworldly compared to your own.

“Good?” He asked.

“Yea— mhm.” Your eyes fluttered shut, hands hesitating over Megumi’s torso until they gripped his tensed arms.

His mouth hung open, too distracted by massaging your insides to dedicate his lips to you. Hot pants filled your mouth as you desperately kissed him, each breath of his slowly filling with grunts to the symphony of your whines. Each moan from you battered his dick, making it pulse painfully for you.

His fingers chased your twitching hips, pushing in deeper each time you squirmed from the sensation. Until the tips of his fingers slid against the spongey sweet spot inside of you that was hidden in the curve of your chasm.

“Right there!” You squealed, the hight of your voice surprising both of you. “Curl your fingers— Mh! just like that.”

He did so, pushing his digits against the sweet spot, lightly pressing and smoothing over the area. You trembled beneath him, clinging to his body like he was your life support.

Megumi loved every second of it, watching your body contort from just his fingers. He just wanted to watch you like this, utterly drunk on pleasure, for forever.

He wanted to make cum so badly it was driving him mad.

“Ohh, please don’t stop.” How could he? Your pussy had just begun clenching around him so gorgeously, tightening like the building orgasm inside you.

Megumi had only realised you’d cum after you yelped his name and your walls sucked on his fingers, trying to milk them of cum. He wanted so badly to feel the sensation around his cock.

“Hng— thank you, thank you.” You babbled embarrassingly, kissing along Megumi’s throat.

He couldn’t stand it anymore, the lack of you around his dick, uncomfortably he palmed his boxers, trying to adjusted his blood filled cock.

The trance of afterglow seemed to subside as you gazed over Megumi’s frustration. Although you were undone, you still craved more of him inside your fuzzy chasm. “More?” You asked, an invitation.

Megumi nodded, thanking the heavens you weren’t done with him. His hand dug into the wallet in his pant pocket, digging out a condom. He pulled it out, half pruned fingers covered in your slick attempting to tear it open.

It was like you’d been slapped in the face with the curt realisation that he had prepared for this. Just as you went to buy lingerie, Megumi had gone and bought condoms. He must’ve thought it could’ve happened at any moment to keep one in his wallet.

He brought the wrapper to his teeth, being frustrated with his inability to open it and tore it open with his clenched teeth. You sucked in a breath at his flimsy eagerness.

The bashfulness that came with revealing himself seemed to skip Megumi’s mind, as he pulled down his baggy pants to let his leaking cock free of the fabric.

Your eyes shot up to the ceiling, needing to look elsewhere as you heard him slide on the plastic birth control. From the glimpse you did catch you could tell he was thin and long. Your attention dived back down once you left a gentle hand rest on your hip, his thumb rubbing over the bone.

His eyes, once you met them, held a simple question; are you ready?

You nodded, closing your eyelids and bracing for his length. However the feeling never came, only his lips as they trailed from your tummy, over your bra and up to your lips.

Your hands cradled his head, nails dragging across his scalp and he grunted. This felt familiar, the feeling of his body softening against yours as you pressed simple kisses onto one another’s lips. Through the intimacy, you felt Megumi readjust, pulling your underwear to the side and lining his tip against your sopping sex.

Closer now, you hugged him through the stress. He slowly sunk into you, the plastic of the condom feeling cool against your hot insides. “Fuck.” He hissed, nipping at your bottom lip.

You sobbed, letting the sensation of being filled by your boyfriend feed your mouth with curses.

He entered slowly, just as much for you as it was for him. His face, flushed red and eyes fluttering in pleasure. You not far from the same, mouth agape with lewd noises spewing out.

He bottomed out when your hips met, taking a brief minute to calm your collective gasps. You gazed down, drowsily taking in the enrapturing sight of you two being connected. Megumi moaned weakly at your smitten stare, feeling himself fall apart from inside you.

“S’okay?” He asked.

“Y-Yes, you can move.” You permitted desperately.

He drawled his hips out carefully, rolling inwards again. Your insides still buzzed from his fingers, raw and sensitive to his filling cock. He could feel you spasm around him, forcing friction when he desperately needed you to be still so he didn’t cum prematurely.

Another breathless curse left him as his length dived back into you. “Oh fuck— I love you.” You gaped at the words, wondering suddenly was that the first time he’s ever said that?

He rolled his hips again, breaking up your quick declaration. “Love— mh— you.”

He cradled you, pulling your body in with his unlikely strength as he fucked you gently. You’d never felt so close to another person before, having him so deep within you, filling your body with pleasure.

Megumi had lost most of his composure, becoming a vocal mess as he humped into your heavenly insides.

“So tight.” He uttered into your skin. “S’perfect.” He kissed your skin, sucking hard hickies into your chest and neck.

“Mnh— love you, hng.” You repeated, too cock drunk to babble anything else.

Messier now, his hip rolls became somewhat frantic, chasing the building mountain of his orgasm. “S-Shit— I’m gonna cum.” The statement rolled off his tongue in a pathetic whine, another crack from his usual composure.

“Don’t s-stop! Please, Gumi ahh.” You were already being worked to your second orgasm, you couldn’t bare to be emptied of him before you reached your high. Your legs wrapped around him, keeping Megumi in.

“Ngh— fffuck.” He plowed harder now, his cock tip perfectly fucking against your sweet spot. Suddenly his tame thrusts became a stuttering mess as he muffled your name into your shoulder.

You could feel him orgasm, feel his cock jerk, feel his cum bloat the tip of the condom inside you.

Noticing him slow, you rolled your hips, desperately fucking yourself onto his mid-orgasm dick.

His hands smack at your sides, attempting you to pull you off his overstimulated dick.

“Almost almost almost—” You pleaded.

With what he had left in him, Megumi took your hips and helped you grind yourself on his cock. He bit your shoulder, muffling the pained moans leaving him.

“Fuck!” You squeaked, his dick slid over your g-spot again, finally bringing you to your spine tingling orgasm. Your insides spasmed around Megumi’s dick, and he whined at the feeling, growing painfully hard again.

Your body went limp, as did the tight hold you had on Megumi. Both your bodies sat panting, utterly fucked out and glistening with sweat.

Raising from you, Megumi looked over your flushed, messy state, his cock still warm fitted inside you. He savoured the sight, thinking that if he could take a photo of this, he’d keep it in his wallet.

“We should shower.” He murmured, painting kisses along your shoulder.

“Mhm, okay.” You nodded.

Fuzzy insides retracting as Megumi slipped from you, you sighed longingly, whilst he grunted, disappointed he couldn’t live inside you.

You groggily sat up, kissing him before attempting to move off the bed but Megumi kept you back, hooking a finger around the strap of your bra.

“How much was the set?” He asked.

“Uhm, not much, Nobara helped me pay for it so—”

“I’ll buy you another one.”

The heat that had just left your cheeks suddenly returned.

[traffys-heart]

one piece men + making out hcs | nswf-ish

while i work on the match-ups have some more hcs abt our fav boys. btw how do u guys feel abt repeating characters? i was really trying to avoid doubling up matches but w over 50 of u unless marine fodder #78 wants to get some i think i might have use some ppl twice. apologies for the inadequacies o(TヘTo)

characters: monkey d. luffy, roronoa zoro, vinsmoke sanji, portgas d. ace, sabo, eustass kid, killer, trafalgar d. law

cw: lowercase, gn! reader, alludes to sex, boners, biting, virgin! loser! law

monkey d. luffy

luffy is really enthusiastic when the two of u make out. he doesn't mind if there are other ppl around and would always try to seek u out during parties. something abt the afterglow of a battle + being around his favorite ppl just fires him up to wrap u up in his rubbery arms and kiss away ur surprised gasps. luffy usually tastes like meat, sweet barbecue sauce, and a hint of whatever tropical drink he was guzzling down prior.

his stretchy abilities easily allow him to feel closer than u then a normal body could. coiling his arm around ur waist multiple times like a statement belt only to pull u impossibly closer so he can shove his tongue deeper down ur throat makes his head kinda light and eyelids heavy. occasionally u explore his mouth too, but he always cheats and stretches his tongue forcing himself to take control.

bonus: he has definitely gotten carried away before and gotten you two actually tongue tied. in his own passion of open kisses he found u struggling to pull away, panicked and wide-eyed as you pointed to the apparent knot between ur tongues.

roronoa zoro

zoro is a messy lover. when he gets his calloused hands on u he makes sure to hold ur face as gently as he knows how. his lips are soft and he tastes strongly of sake and variations of cheaper booze. u could get drunk off his mouth from feeling and lingering alcohol together. his hands never stop cradling ur face, he enjoys the soft moment of intimacy throughout so much violence in his life.

while he handles u with care, his tongue could be fighting u like a marine. similar to his captain, he much would rather push himself into ur mouth than have u take the lead. he also enjoys having u in his lap, while he rocks u back n forth. the motions of u rubbing his strong arms and chest while he loses himself in ur lips may lead to something else up in the crow's nest.

vinesmoke sanji

sanji prides himself on being a gentleman and yet all of his manners fly out the window when u push ur tongue into his mouth. his facial hair tickles ur face and sends tingles to the rest of ur body while his hands struggle on deciding whether to rest on ur waist or face. he tastes like mint, as his hygiene is impeccable, and pre-timeskip his upper lip may or may not have tasted like shaving cream.

the blond would gladly let u guide him through the motions as move ur tongues together. he would never brute force himself between ur lips and adores how sweetly u place chaste kisses on the corners of his mouth before u reach him. he would love to keep u as close as possible, however even after a few minutes of making out ur chef is going to need to sort out the growing tent in his pants.

portgas d. ace

i think ace was shy at first and allowed u to take the reins due to his lack of experience. not only would the makeout sesh be hot (haha) but sloppy too. strings of saliva would fall from both ur lips as u pant for air and ace runs a hand through his messy hair. blown out pupils stare at ur mouth expectantly like a patient puppy waiting to be told he can have his treat.

in terms of taste he probably just tastes like his last meal and charred bits of food. ace is going to be insatiable once u get him hooked on the feeling on ur tongues intertwining and mouths moving against each other in ways that send sparks down his spine and into his shorts. I doubt he would mention his erection, but it's not like u can't exactly tell.

sabo

ugh. sabo is a yapper and unfortunately not even making out can get him to shut up. hot open mouthed kisses pressed against his stupidly perfect lips would only lead to a cheeky smile and commentary on his luck. sabo tastes like English breakfast tea, and while his appetite is almost as crazy as his brothers he often cleanses his palate with the hot beverage. while his arms circle ur waist he makes sure to strip himself of his leather gloves if he hasn't already, wanting to feel ur skin on his own.

u should be careful not to rile him up too much or he might burn ur tongue. he hasn't had his devil fruit for long and deep emotion can easily set him off. sabo enjoys making out best when ur on top of him while he's lying down. during leisure moments in the Revolutionary army he wants nothing more than to spend his days lazily sliding his tongue against urs and trying to memorize the cavern of ur mouth.

eustass kid

kid is the type to pat his lap while he spreads his legs and gesture for u to come sit. and I would absolutely fall for it every single time. despite placing u on his knee the guy is 6'8 so i doubt ur gonna be taller than him. small kisses on his lipstick clad lips only act to annoy him because u both know what he really wants from ur mouth. when he finally gets bored of ur games he decides to bite ur lip and use ur surprise to bring ur open mouth to his own.

he has a lovely tongue piercing that sends a contrast of cold metallic steel whenever he runs it across ur own. sometimes he'll take his goggles off and let his bangs fall in front of face, tickling ur forehead in the process. while he is a rough lover, this is one of the view times where he lets his guard down and indulges himself in another. if u weren't wearing any lipstick beforehand he'll make sure u are by the end of this.

killer

n/a: killer wears a mask so u can't make out :(

jk I wouldn't be that mean to the 8 killer fans out there! if he does ever remove his mask and share something so personal like his own face to u, the first thing he wants to do is finally kiss u. and pirates aren't known to be the most self retraining ppl so ofc ur sweet kisses would lead into a steamy make out session with the blond. for some reason i can imagine this happening on the floor as the both of u awkwardly stumble around on ur knees until u fall into his lap.

as he gains more confidence he would move his hand behind ur head to press u closer to him. he spent so long watching ur lips grace everyone else in the crew with smiles and kisses on the cheek he can't seem to stop himself from wanting to reap all the times he should've taken u in his arms and he didn't. in terms of taste, unfortunately due to his diet full of pasta he will be tasting entirely like spaghetti.

trafalgar d. law

law has watched movies and read books where people make out but actually acting out the scene himself? entirely different playing field. he would be sitting uncomfortably on the edge of his bed as u stare up at him curiously. u've given each other quick pecks before (all that have led to wonderful wank bank material) but now it was time to get serious and fulfill a long time dream of his.

after hyping himself up for a few seconds he turns to u and u begin to crawl towards him on the bed. finally making out for law is overwhelming, erotic, and kinda sweaty. he can't stop his palms from sweating and he doesn't want to weird u out by putting his damp hands on ur body so he awkwardly keeps them by his side. he's already planning his escape to the bathroom after this encounter but it's totally worth it, esp bc the two of u r watching sora, warrior of the sea: the germs of germa after this!

[girlfromflor]

part 5 | supersoldiers!141 x f!reader

after you shared your first kiss with johnny and kyle, things started to shift within the group. it was clear that physical displays of affection were a thing now, but it was more than that. they all started to act more affectionate with each other in front of you – you knew they shared these moments, they just never really explored that in front of you.

you were grateful they did, because now you could relish on watching them rather than being watched. you liked that they were attentive to you, but you liked this natural flow of things better. they stopped worrying about what you'd think and simply acted according to what felt better – and probably that was the closest to seeing what they were like before you, that you'd ever get.

you walk freely around their house now, and they come and go from yours. sleepovers started happening, you catch them cuddling each other on your bed and you casually fix the blankets around them tighter. you started seeing soap give ghost a peck on the lips through the mask, john's hand on kyle’s thigh under the table during dinner, ghost hugging kyle by the waist while whispering things in his ear – things that were very imaginable considering the way you felt arousal building inside you out of nowhere –, and john pulling johnny to sit on his lap using the excuse that “there's no place in the couch for everyone”.

john and johnny were a special duo. maybe it was because johnny has too much energy and john is more responsive to it than ghost and kyle, but johnny truly acts like a needy puppy around the captain. you've seen johnny act like that with simon and receive a groaned “you're such a needy mutt” enveloped with lust and want, and you could feel johnny’s satisfaction at having such attention. but john clearly scratched a deeper part of johnny's mind. you were proved just that when you walked past the hall of their house unannounced on one afternoon. you could make out some murmuring from the kitchen, busy taking your shoes off which gave you enough time to make out john’s voice, you don’t know who he’s talking to – but you could imagine.

“would you like that?” it's low and seductive, and you've never heard john speak like that. there's no response, but given his next words the man had either nodded or shaken his head, “then be a good boy and do as you’re told, yeah?”

“yes, sir,” you hear johnny's voice and your stomach is completely taken by butterflies. johnny was breathless and for a second you’re afraid of stepping inside and disturbing an intimate moment, but you heard them moving and decided to do it anyway.

they are standing on opposite sides of the kitchen island, john is staring at soap like he's a five course meal and johnny looks almost flustered – that's new.

“uh… hi, guys,” you whisper and the response is immediate – john moves too quickly for you to react, fast and determined.

“baby!” he greets you with a bright smile – the one he usually has when he's up to something –, pulling you by your hand to stand closer to him. “be a sweetheart and give your captain a kiss, aye?”

you turn to look at johnny, to take a hint on what to do – he's too quiet, what were they talking about? –, but john moves faster and holds your cheeks with one of his big hands.

“ah, ah, tha’ what i told ya to do?” he asks, still smiling – condescendingly so – and you shake your head as an answer. “that's right, love,” he places both his hands on your hips, pulling you closer – and you have to put your hands on his chest to ground yourself. “now, what was it that you were supposed to do? huh?”

you're not sure if he wants a verbal response. maybe he does but doesn't want to push you too far, because you stay silent as you stand on the tip of your toes to kiss him and he accepts. you barely acknowledge the fact that this is the first time you're going to kiss john as he hums and moves down to brush his nose on your cheek. you close your eyes, then soon enough the feeling of his lips on yours overtakes your senses – but is johnny's moan that wrecks you. you gasp and john's tongue finds its way inside your mouth, his own sound of pleasure echoing in your mind.

the first thing that you do when you pull away from the kiss is search for johnny’s eyes – only to see him shamelessly palming his cock through his sweatpants while watching the two of you –, and that results in a hard squeeze of john's hands on your hips. you whimper in surprise, and you can hear johnny mimic the sound from where he stands – and fuck, you want to look at him so bad, but john is completely taking over you thoughts.

“sorry,” you blurt out instinctively, not actually guilty but it's a way of showing you're not disregarding john for johnny.

“‘s okay, love,” john answers and gives your lips a brief kiss, lovingly. when he lets you go he turns to johnny, “think you can behave?” johnny nods and is funny how he does it like his life depends on it. but then john tsks and orders, “words, johnny.”

“yes, sir,” soap answers, soft and pliant and so attractively, your thighs press themselves together.

“c'mon, then,” price motions his head for johnny to come closer and the scot doesn't hesitate to obey.

as soap approaches the two of you, john pulls him by the waist for him to step between you. then he whispers in johnny's ear “go on,” in the most unbothered tone, and johnny – with his back pressed against the captain’s chest – bends down to kiss you in a heartbeat.

the kiss is a mess. it makes the two of you breathless too fast but it's too good to stop. johnny's hands touch your waist, your neck and your face before dropping to your hips and you can't help but squeeze the muscle of his arms underneath your palms. john pulls soap further back in his chest as a warning and johnny pulls away from you with a whine. you blink slowly watching the men in front of you – john presses a kiss to the scot's cheek before saying, “good boy.”

johnny blushes at the words, his eyes on you like he's half expecting you to laugh at him. you bite your lip and decide to break the silence after a moment, “i thought you were out grocery shopping…”

johnny smiles and john chuckles saying “simon and kyle went. they should be back in an hour.”

later that day, you found yourself in their kitchen again. john was the only one there finishing dinner when you arrived and he said, “sweetheart, can you go get the lads?” you answered with a nod before making your way upstairs.

you had gone back to your house, taken a shower and done some of your chores. simon and kyle came back after you left, so you hadn't had the chance to talk to them. ghost's door is the first one in the hallway, so naturally there’s where you go first, not even bothering to knock because it was already wide open.

“simon, john told me to—” you stop mid-sentence as you walk past the door frame, stunned at the sight in front of you – a maskless simon, flushed and panting, caging kyle in between his arms and the dresser.

he turns his face to you slowly, clearly having trouble breaking eye contact with the younger man. “yes, luvie?” simon voices out, nonchalantly like you hadn't just caught him and kyle in the middle of something.

“you're– you don’t have your mask on,” you deadpan, failing to address kyle, who's still pressed against the furniture and looking at you.

“very attentive of you to notice,” he smiles, and is like he's taking pleasure in your surprised expression.

“shut up—” you take a few steps forward, but halt halfway – what were you going to do, kiss him? – and instead of going to them you whisper, “you're beautiful…” only to be met with a smirk and a look that says ‘i know’, so you do your own playful teasing. “well, not as much as kyle—”

“oi! you little shit!” he laughs and lets kyle go to move in your direction – probably to grab you and do god knows what – but you take a step back.

nervously laughing, trying to stop staring at simon's handsome face, you look at kyle, blurting out the first thing that comes to your mind,  “were you two making out?”

“why?” comes kyle’s voice instantly, and you squeeze your eyes shut for a second – what a dummy. “would ya wanna join?” kyle adds, moving to you much like simon is. 

you step backwards once more, answering defiantly, “as if, i've kissed you already,” but it's more of a gasp than anything – it's also a mistake with the way simon’s eyes darken, he took it as a challenge. “i don’t want to be scolded by john,” you say, remembering that you were supposed to be calling them for dinner.

“i think you’d quite enjoy his punishment, love,” simon states, and he's too close for this conversation to be considered appropriate. so instead of facing them you turn on your heels and sprint to johnny's room in the end of the hallway, the sound of their feet thudding behind you as they follow.

you open johnny's door fast, not bothering to close it before throwing yourself in the bed where he was laying, watching tv. johnny doesn’t  have time to question what's happening before simon and kyle come barging in, laughing.

“what did ye do, bon?” he asks then, side eyeing you.

“she owes me a kiss,” simon answers for you and motions his head in your direction, exchanging a glance with johnny. 

johnny moves instantly, sitting up and holding your arms, pulling you to press your back against his chest with you sitting in the middle of his legs – shit, you're fucked. kyle sits down first, by your side, hand stroking your cheek. and then comes simon.

he finds his place between your legs, parting them to fit himself more comfortably. “word is you kissed everyone but me, luvie, that correct?” simon questions as his face grows closer to yours and you squirm in johnny's arms – you can hear kyle chuckling by your side.

you nod regardless, before saying “in my defense, your mask worked like an imaginary wall between us.”

“yeah? what about now?” he whispers, breath fanning over your nose. you stay silent, not knowing what to answer. he chuckles, “no excuse now, huh?”

you pout, lips involuntarily moving and it catches his attention. he moves down to brush his lips on yours and you move forward trying to press them together. he backs up with a smile, “ya wan’ a kiss, luvie?”

you nod, and maybe you do it a bit too desperately because kyle groans from where he's watching and johnny places his hands on your hips. simon hums, moving to peck your lips – and it's supposed to be just a peck, but you can't help yourself. you launch forward, lips pressing more vigorously on him and he groans. one of his hands cup your cheek to move your head, guiding you as he deepens the kiss, his tongue brushing yours in a passionate caress.

when he pulls away, you take a moment to ground yourself. you are too drown in your arousal and simon’s – and also johnny and kyle's. the amount of horniness taking your senses makes you want to hump yourself in johnny's legs until you're crying and the four of you have to forcefully think of something else to try and balance it out since john is not there to help shift the emotions, and that's when you gasp,

“fuck, john is going to kill us.”

series masterlist a/n: is it weird that i've posted three days in a row? | taglist: @fruitymoonbeams-blog @little-mini-me-world @bath1lda @imthatone-annoyingfriend @night-shadowblood-writes2 @z-wantstowrite @kentuckyhobbit @supernova2205 @thatghostlykid @reggiesslut @reap3erslov3

[aventurineswife]

hi !! first of all, i love your writing so much… its so edible /pos 💗

could you write blade, jing yuan, dan heng, and sunday with a vampire reader? basically just how they’d deal with a vampire lover? ^_^

Immortal Bonds

Tags: Blade x Reader, Sunday x Reader, Dan Heng x Reader, Jing Yuan x Reader, Established Relationship, Vampire!Reader, Slow Burn, Emotional Depth, Romance, Angst, Comfort, Protective Behavior, Tender Moments, Fluff, Sadness/Reflection.

Warnings: Mature Themes (due to the themes of immortality, death, and emotional baggage), Trauma/Emotional Conflict (exploration of past struggles, guilt, and past trauma for both the characters and the reader), Vampirism, Violence, Self-Harm/Destructive Tendencies (For Blade's part), Mild Gore (with Blade’s immortality and healing factor, there could be some mention of injuries), Existential Themes.

A/N: AHHHH TYYY!! 🥹💖 I'm glad to hear it's edible hehe 🤭

Blade had never been one to show his vulnerability—yet, with you, he couldn’t help but soften, just a little. The way your cool touch brushed against his skin sent a shiver down his spine, the slight sensation of your fangs grazing his neck a reminder of how intimately connected you both were.

He’d always preferred solitude, and the chaos of the Stellaron Hunters never truly felt like home. But with you beside him, the weight of eternity seemed a little more bearable. Your immortality matched his, and while it could be a curse, it also forged a bond between you that nothing could tear apart.

Despite his tendency to keep his emotions locked away, Blade found himself indulging in moments of closeness with you—quiet moments, where he would sit next to you in the stillness of night, his sword resting beside him, as you traced the lines of his hand with your cold fingers.

“You know, your immortality’s starting to get to me,” Blade would say, the smallest smirk curling on his lips, but there was a hint of something deeper in his voice. He was teasing, yes, but the affection in his words was genuine. “It’s almost like you understand how much of a nightmare this life can be.”

With you, he didn’t need to run from the pain anymore. It was a dangerous thing, but Blade had always thrived in chaos—what better chaos than with you, a creature of the night who shared his broken soul?

Jing Yuan was the Arbiter General for a reason—his strategic mind was as sharp as ever, but when it came to you, he allowed himself to lean into the calm. His long hair would sometimes cascade over your shoulder as you sat beside him, sipping on a drink while he casually held court with his officers. The quiet presence of a vampire beside him was something he grew to cherish.

As the General, Jing Yuan was used to pressure. Yet, your existence brought a gentle stillness to the often chaotic world around him. He found peace in your silence, the occasional glimmer of your eyes meeting his from across the room. His smile, though usually laid-back, would carry a deeper warmth when your gaze met his.

"I've fought battles that tested the very limits of my mind," he would say lazily, his eyes studying you with an air of amusement. "But, in the end, I’m certain that a vampire like you will always win the war for my heart.”

Your fangs were a gentle reminder of the timelessness you both shared, and Jing Yuan reveled in the thought. His life, ruled by war and peace, had rarely had room for much else—but in you, he found a soft refuge. Despite his outward demeanor, he wasn’t immune to your allure. His touch would linger just a little longer when he held your hand, a small, unspoken promise that you could share in the quiet serenity he had built around himself.

Dan Heng was not a man who easily allowed others into his world. His past haunted him enough without letting someone else become another burden. But, you—your presence was something he had never expected.

When you first met, it was in the quiet stillness of the Astral Express. He had barely noticed you at first, your pale skin and sharp, glowing eyes blending into the shadows. But over time, as you shared quiet moments, a connection blossomed between you both that Dan Heng never expected—and it terrified him. You were a vampire, a creature of the night, but you were also gentle, understanding, in a way that no one else had ever been to him. You didn’t ask questions about his past, and for once, Dan Heng found someone who didn’t expect him to reveal everything.

One evening, he found you staring at the stars through the window of the Express. The light from the passing worlds painted your face in a soft glow. He could see the coolness of your skin, the faintest outline of your fangs as you smiled at him.

“You know,” he started, a rare smile tugging at his lips, “I’ve always been alone. But it’s... different with you.”

You gave him a knowing look, your eyes reflecting the same isolation, but your presence was a comfort. You didn’t force him to talk about the things he wished to forget. Instead, you simply held him close in the quiet, content in the understanding that sometimes silence was all that was needed.

Sunday’s existence had always been a study in contradictions—ideals and guilt, love and detachment. But when you entered his life, a vampire with a heart of gold, it changed him in ways that even he couldn’t fully understand.

Your immortality fascinated him—how could someone with such a long, complex life continue to walk the line between compassion and detachment, just as he did? He often found himself watching you, lost in thought as you moved gracefully through the world, a being of both elegance and danger. Your eyes, full of ancient knowledge, would often meet his, and in those moments, Sunday felt the familiar weight of his own burdens lifting, if only a little.

“Vampires are born from the night, yet you shine with such light,” Sunday would say softly, his voice tinged with both awe and melancholy. “It is strange—how the darkness and the light dance together, even in you.”

The contrast between your eternal youth and his weary soul was something that haunted him at times, but you were a balm to his troubled heart. He found himself more open, more vulnerable with you than with anyone else, despite his usual guarded nature.

He would often stand next to you, his eyes scanning the stars, yet his thoughts were elsewhere. “Perhaps I could take solace in your dream of immortality,” Sunday would muse, “but I fear it is the dream of another person—a dream that is too distant for me to reach.”

Your cool fingers would gently clasp his, a silent understanding passing between you both. Even if Sunday’s doubts about his ideals remained, you gave him something he hadn’t known he needed—a moment of peace, a fleeting dream that reminded him of the possibility of light amidst the shadows.

[gottencents]

Blow - Jennie Kim

love hangover masterlist. main masterlist

pairing. katseye!oc x jennie kim

synopsis. Tatum and Jennie share an intense and passionate night, where Jennie’s playful demand for more kisses leads to a slow-burning.

The room was bathed in the soft glow of the moonlight, casting long shadows on the walls. The only sounds were the quiet hum of the city in the distance and the rustling of sheets as Tatum tried to slip away, gently pulling herself from Jennie’s embrace. But as soon as her body shifted, Jennie’s arms shot out, wrapping around her like a lifeline, pulling her back to the bed.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Jennie murmured, her voice a sleepy mix of teasing and a hint of vulnerability, like she couldn’t bear the thought of being without her just yet.

Tatum laughed softly, trying to mask the warmth spreading through her chest at the sound of Jennie’s needy tone. “I figured I’d let you rest. Get up, grab some coffee, maybe even do something productive. You know, like an adult.”

Jennie groaned in protest, her arms tightening around Tatum’s waist as she nuzzled her face against her skin. “You’ve been kissing me for ages,” she mumbled. “I need more.”

Tatum could feel her lips twitch into a smile. Of course, this was coming. Jennie always had that irresistible pull when she wanted more. The way her voice would soften, full of that subtle desperation, always made it hard to say no. She smirked, glancing down at Jennie with a mix of amusement and affection.

“More?” Tatum raised an eyebrow, barely managing to suppress her laugh. “Jen, we’ve barely stopped kissing for half an hour. Don’t you think that’s enough?”

Jennie, however, wasn’t having it. She opened her eyes, locking her gaze with Tatum’s, a playful yet serious look in her eyes. “Never enough,” she whispered, her fingers curling into the fabric of Tatum’s shirt, pulling her in again. “You can’t leave yet. I need you… closer.”

Tatum’s heart skipped a beat. The way Jennie said it, the way her voice dropped into that honeyed tone, was enough to break any resistance. She couldn’t help but smile, feeling that familiar flutter in her chest. She leaned in again, her lips brushing over Jennie’s, teasing her gently as their mouths met for another kiss.

It started slow, soft, with the kind of tenderness that always seemed to flood between them, but it quickly escalated as Jennie pulled her even closer, her hands trailing up the back of Tatum’s neck, threading into her hair and tugging her down.

“Just a little longer,” Jennie murmured, lips brushing against Tatum’s as she pulled her in again, this time with more force. The kiss deepened, their mouths moving in perfect synchrony, both of them hungry for more.

Tatum’s hands roamed, one sliding to Jennie’s waist and the other curling around the back of her neck, tilting her head to deepen the kiss even further. Jennie’s breath hitched, her lips parting just enough for Tatum to slip her tongue in, and the world outside their bubble faded completely.

Their kiss became more urgent, more desperate, as if they had to make up for the lost time. Jennie’s hands slid down to Tatum’s shirt, tugging at the fabric as if she was trying to close the distance between them entirely. Tatum’s fingers traced the line of Jennie’s jaw, pulling her face closer, her lips moving against Jennie’s with an intensity that sent heat rushing through her.

Jennie responded in kind, her body pressing against Tatum’s as she kissed her harder, deeper, her hands exploring every inch of Tatum’s skin they could reach. She made a soft, almost needy noise against Tatum’s mouth, and Tatum couldn’t help but moan in response, her chest tightening with the overwhelming need to be closer, to lose herself in Jennie completely.

The kiss turned into something more passionate, their movements no longer slow and deliberate, but frantic, as if neither of them could get enough of the other. Jennie’s fingers fumbled with the buttons on Tatum’s shirt, the sound of fabric rustling filling the air as she tugged it off, her skin meeting Tatum’s with the softest of gasps.

Tatum’s hands went to Jennie’s hair, tugging her in closer, kissing her as if she was trying to memorize the taste, the feel of her. Jennie’s body was pressed so tightly against hers now that there was no space between them, no air, just the heat of their shared kisses. Tatum could feel Jennie’s heartbeat beneath her fingertips, quick and erratic, matching her own, and it only drove her more insane with the desire to never let go.

But just as they were lost in it, Jennie pulled back, breathless, her face flushed with desire, her lips swollen from their frantic kissing. She gave Tatum a half-smile, still holding onto her tightly, as if she couldn’t bear to let go. “More,” Jennie whispered again, a hint of amusement creeping into her voice despite the intensity of the moment.

Tatum let out a soft laugh, her chest rising and falling as she tried to regain some sense of composure. “You’re relentless,” she teased, but her hands were already finding their way back to Jennie’s body, her lips trailing a line down Jennie’s jaw.

Jennie grinned, her fingers tracing Tatum’s collarbone before slipping down to her chest, as if she couldn’t get enough either. “I know,” she said softly, her eyes half-lidded with affection and desire. “And you love it.”

Tatum didn’t even bother to answer. She kissed her again, this time with even more force, her hands roaming over Jennie’s skin, pulling her tighter against her as they kissed for what felt like forever. Their bodies moved in sync, a perfect dance of need and affection. The longer they kissed, the more the world outside of them seemed to disappear, leaving only the warmth of their closeness and the overwhelming sensation of being completely lost in each other.

There was no rush now. No need to hurry. Jennie wanted more, and Tatum couldn’t think of a single reason not to give it to her.

taglist [OPEN] : @multiliker @goofymickeyr @yuyuy90 @hydrardz @wtfisthisnoclueman @reiiaokii @somedaydream @yjiminswallet @inejghafawifesblog @jaythegirlkisser @xochitlisbest @1800hotnfunn @awkwardtoafault @linnnsworld

[internetegoist]

Of Shidou Ryusei ; And how his character connects towards sexual trauma

(Content warning: Major mentions of SA/CSA and abuse, minor mentions for NSFW behaviour. Most of them aren't in graphic detail, but please please be wary of it 🙏 There's also spoilers for CSM and A Clockwork Orange)

Shidou's character is one of those that sticks with you throughout the entire series. It feels like we know everything about him, yet there's something so mysterious about his behaviour that makes you wonder, what's with this guy? We know how he acts, his violence and vulgarity injected in his brain and blood, but yet we don't know why he acts the way he is. It is very heavily implied that he went through a sort of restriction, born in a bird cage which he freed himself from through going to Blue Lock, but what is that restriction? What was the bird cage which trapped him? What was it that was holding him back from searching for freedom and exploring the world?

Since then, there's been a large speculation of theories on what his backstory could be. But one of them I want to talk about is about how his backstory is connected to SA, and how he could have experienced it at a young age. At first, I was extremelyyy hesitant to follow it due to how it made me a bit uncomfortable to discuss about, and how I saw a majority of people supporting the theory use it for shock value rather than a chance to devolve into darker topics. Of course, not the case for everyone who supports the theory, just from my own personal experience in the fandom.

But now, I can see the extremely, deeply discomforting vision on how this could be true in a way. From both his favourite manga and movie involving SA as an integral part in the story, to the concerning side of him being slightly revealed in the Egoist Bible. (Eg. crying at the end of the day, when he's feeling nothing or when he's empty, as well as his dislike of gifts)

Due to my heavy interests, I wanted to explore this theory into a more deeper matter. I decided to analyze more of his behaviour, as well as doing some of my own research. I must say, Shidou's behavioral manner can be one that is similar to those of SA survivors, especially male survivors.

Okay okay, enough yapping around. Let me get straight to the point.

Shidou and his instinct's responses

Generally after experiencing sexual abuse, one's entire personality will change. Every behaviour change is different for every sexual abuse survivor. Sometimes they'll isolate themselves more often, sometimes they turn into a much aggressive and violent person. Because the world has failed them, the world is putting them in a place where they are no longer safe and are more vulnerable. Because when your entire sense of self and personal power is taken away by your abuser, you are left with nothing but fear and new survival instincts. Why I bring this up is because Shidou's entire personality is built on instincts. His instant response to even the slightest hint of dislike or threat is to immediately beat them up, no matter who they are. A noteworthy thing to mention is that one of the main responses from males following sexual trauma is anger, because it is more socially acceptable for men to react that way. Attacking someone is the best way of defense, and Shidou follows this way of defense entirely. This also follows up with the stigma with the male ethic of self-reliance, in which help-seeking behaviours can be seen as cowardly or unmasculine.

It's most likely the reason why he also dislikes Kunigami's philosophy of heroes; Considering the fact his entire character is based on wanting to be free from restriction, he must have lived in an environment and/or went through a sort of restriction which influenced his ideals of "I can fend myself, I won't need anyone". The world he has grown up in was nothing but survival against the abuse he went through, so for what purpose should he believe in the principle of a savior, if he himself could have never been saved? It doesn't help either when in real time, there have been many cases where survivors of sexual abuse are either never believed when they speak out about it, or never speak out at all in fear of not being believed.

And besides the fact he uses violence as a defense method, one thing I noticed about Shidou is that during the time he was locked up by Ego for inducing violence onto Rin. We see him, perhaps for the first time, being calm and offering a promise that he'll make sure to stop fighting and hitting others, as long as he is let out of that prison he's trapped in. You see, a common reaction victims will use during the process of the SA is to freeze. To stay silent and still. It's like how animals freeze to avoid fights or further harm to themselves, or play dead in order to prevent getting eaten by predators. Although the outer self may seem to be in a calm state, the inside are on high alert, because they are afraid on what will be their abuser's next moves. The option to fight or run away may seem easy to those who haven't experienced SA, but to the victim it may seem harder than you think. Because freezing is a body's instinct response to abuse, and it'll stay frozen until the abuse is over, it's almost like a human's way of playing dead, so that the assault induced will end sooner. Among the instincts of 'fight, flight, freeze', Shidou seems to use fight the most out of the three. However, when necessary times come necessary measures, Shidou, perhaps for the first time, switches to 'freeze' instead of 'fight'. Not only because he basically, cannot physically fight anyone at that moment, but also because he is afraid. Afraid of being restricted yet again, afraid of not having the chance to live his life, which is to play football. The worst position to be in when you're being hurt or abused is limitation. You can't move, you can't fight, you can't run away from your abuse from happening. Nothing but hope that the abuse happening to you will end soon, that your abuser will stop hurting you. That's exactly what is so terrifying about the freeze responses.

Shidou and his sexual behaviour

If any fan knows anything about Shidou, it's that he's not afraid to speak out what's on his mind, especially lewd and inappropriate words. More or less, this can be connecting to something called hypersexuality. Accordingly, hypersexuality is defined as an intense focus on sexual fantasies, urges and behaviours that can't be controlled. Hypersexuality can not only cause distress, but also problems in school and workplace.

Survivors of sexual abuse cope in one of the two ways: Either by avoiding sexual or intimidate interactions entirely, or seeking said interactions on a large and unhealthy scale. According to this article, a majority of men who suffer from hypersexuality or sex addiction have been either physically or sexually abused in their childhood.

We see Shidou quite literally compare scoring a goal in football, to sexual intercourse. (And also the part where he says he's gonna blow his load, with Sae also dismissing it, but it's just partners supporting each other!)

By now, we know that two things that Shidou is unable to separate from each other is life and football. Both the act of life and the act of playing football is interconnected. Because football is something that allows him to leave a mark, allows him to be known by the world. Because football is a biological phenomenon to him, rather than just a sport.

And yes sure, this is supposed to be a connection to his philosophy of leaving a mark on others, so that you can be remembered. But also remember what he says in his monologue: "Those who create something, those who want to become something, and of course, those who make children." The way humans create life is through intimacy, through intercourse. The two people engaging leave a mark on each other through creating that life, that child.

And while speaking about his monologue of leaving a mark, Shidou also mentions that wounding others are a way of leaving behind a proof of existence. Inducing abuse whether it'd be physical, emotional or sexual, can also be one of the ways to make someone remember you.

The abuser leaves the mark on the victim, the mentioned mark left on them can be seen as PTSD or trauma symptoms.

Abuse is not something you can just simply turn away, forget or overlook. Whether the effects of trauma are short-term or long-term, they are there, they are a proof of existence that it happened. Shidou's inability to separate the physical act of football and the biological act of life's desires, especially sexual desires, can be seen as hypersexuality. Hypersexuality can also be seen as a mark left onto the victim. And it's extremely lengthy to recover and remove those marks left on you.

Of Freedom and Shidou Ryusei

I think Shidou Ryusei and his obsession with freedom is something so interesting about his character, yet so many people tend to ignore it as a significant part of him. Because imagine if one day out of the blue, your entire bodily autonomy gets taken away from you, you're trapped in a cycle of repetitive abuse onto you. When it's finally over and you have control over everything again, the world suddenly feels so utterly different. So what do you do? Of course, cling onto that freedom that is now yours.

Bite any other hand that may seem like it's trying to take it away, because if there is one thing you do not ever want to repeat, it is someone isolating you once more against the world. So hold on tightly to the freedom you now have, and make sure it stays with you for eternity.

All of Shidou's favourite things, his favourite film, manga and song, are also connected to this in a way.

It would take too long for me to get into detail about both Chainsaw Man and A Clockwork Orange, but I want to say that both media and their protagonists have approaches to freedom of life and choice.

In Chainsaw Man, Denji is a child that has been depraved of even the basic of human needs; Just like Shidou, he wants to claim everything in his current life and not return to when he had nothing when he was a child. In A Clockwork Orange, Alexander who in the beginning of the movie has been committing heinous crimes with no one to stop him, is captured and put through inhumane experiments in order to rehabilitate him. His entire freedom is taken away from him and for the next hour, we see him go through immense suffering and torture by those who he had wronged to the point he attempts to commit suicide through jumping off a window. In the end, it doesn't seem like his mindset has changed at all. It makes us question whether or not letting someone be free to do anything they want is the better option even if it hurts others, rather than attempt to isolate them in order to transform them into a better human being.

I would like to talk a little about his favourite artist. For a bit of context, hide is popular for being an icon of rebellion against Japan's conformist society, and one of his songs PINK SPIDER, is listed as Shidou's favourite song according to the official Blue Lock Egoist Bible. I've seen a lot of interpretations of what the song truly means, but the main story is that it's about a spider trapped within and kills anything near it. Because it wishes to free itself away, it steals a butterfly's wings. It attempts to fly, and fails, and tries again. Whether or not the spider did actually succeeded in flying away is unknown to us. But, that's not all!

Around the chapter where Shidou scores a goal, the commenter calls it a 'rocket diving header'. This can lead to one of hide's other songs in the same album as PINK SPIDER, rocket dive; a song with the similar approach of freedom but with different tones. Compared to PINK SPIDER, rocket dive has a more cheerful approach. In the end of the song, the star mentioned in rocket dive successfully flies away and appears as a new shooting star in the sky.

Which brings me to point out something: Shidou Ryusei's birthday is on Tanabata, a type of Japanese celebration called the Star Festival which is celebrated on the seventh day of the seventh month.

His name, Ryusei, is also a homophone for shooting star in Japanese.

Shidou, born as a star on the day where two lover stars meet, yet when he was born, he was not allowed to fly and join the others in the sky.

But he overcame everything, achieved that dream of having the freedom to do whatever he wants. And even though he went through all that pain, all that abuse, and most likely had to learn how to escape by himself through football before Blue Lock, he made it come true, like a spell.

And eventually, he learnt how to fly, and let the world knew who he was.

[bitchlessdino]

demon's play 2 : devil's intervention (m) TEASER

coming May 31st 7pm cst Original - Demon's play Pairing: devil!wonwoo x demon!seungcheol x demon!chan x afab human!reader Genre: smut tags: plot heavy, some fluffish moments, perpetual fear, ikea employee!reader, dom!wonwoo, sub!reader, verse!chan, verse!seungcheol, cum drunk!demons, violent graphic imagery (death, lashing, sacrifices), mentions of blood, voyeurism, biting to the point of blood, MLM themes that is not based off of any implications of reality, hair pulling, choking, spitting, double fem head, biting, [+so many more] Summary: it's some time since Chan and Seungcheol abandoned the underworld for you, a simple human. The ruler of the underworld does not too kindly to distractions, even ones so prettily packaged such as yourself. It was time he took matters into his own hands. If you want to be tagged please let me know by interacting

“You’re starving aren't you,” Seungcheol growled. “I could smell your arousal for me before you even entered the apartment.”

“Tell me about it,” Chan joined, immersed in the air around you wafting in his nose. “There’s lust in these veins of yours,” his tongue swiped over the blood on his lips. “Don’t tell me you’ve been thinking about this all day…We fuck you every waking day of your life, and that’s still not enough. Isn’t that right?”

A “No,” barely made it past your lips before they were crushed under the weight of Seungcheol’s, and then you were the one starting to taste iron. Its aroma was as strong as they claimed, and Wonwoo fell under the same impression.

Chan tucked your hair behind your head, tugging you in his direction as his teeth skins into the base of your neck, his cock exposed in an instant and hugged between the plush felt of your ass. Your eyes retreated to your skull, trembling as Seungcheol’s cock pressed against your stomach. A shatter sigh broke out from your throat and you let them take over control of your feeble body.

“What is our…arrangement?”

You exhaled, sipping your drinking and hearing the obnoxious slurp of your now empty cup, and somehow your throat was still dry. “I think its pretty obvious.”

“Obvious? You give me too much credit.”

“Well, you’re here for furniture but have yet bought any.”

“Does that culminate a dispute between you and I?”

“Not exactly, but–”

“And aren’t you paid regardless if you spend time with me?”

“Yes, but–”

His laughter was light, a hint of mischief lingering. “Then I don’t see the issue. You enjoy my company, you get paid to do your job. Win-win.”

He reunited with your lips, exploring you deeper as his hand wrapped around the stands of your hair and gripped, and you swallowed his grunts. “How many times have you released in their presence? A hundred? A thousand? A million? It’s never enough for you either, is it?”

You shook your head weakly, eyes begging for more as you were already addicted, feeling him awaken something in you that can’t be sated.

“I’m an all immortal being, so I know. Just like I know you wonder what I look like beneath my clothes…what I taste like…how I’d fuck you.”

OUT NOW!

[fumifooms]

Do you think Kui retconned Kabru and Rin as a couple? It seems so strange how Kabru treats her if he views her as a sister

Rin & Kabru relationship analysis

Skip to the keep reading cut if you only want my Kabru & Rin thoughts. Tldr of the preamble is that I don't think Kui retconned anything but I don't think Kabru and Rin were ever meant to end up as a couple, but that doesn't mean that there's no way anything deeper or more complex is happening here. Under the keep reading is my pretty full analysis of Rin & Kabru, which I'll still cover in my full Kabru party analysis eventually.

1) People do debate about whether or not Kui changed her approach to a lot of her characters halfway through the story, Kabru, Thistle and Chilchuck to name some of the biggest ones. I've heard it be an explanation for the shapeshifters even, that it's a meta joke on how characters' old behavior and appearances have now become out of character. I personally believe nothing has been retconned, that all the characters are coherent and, perhaps more importantly, that regardless of later intent the early writing makes the characters more interesting and layered. Not that the idea of there being or needing retcons has no merit at all, for example forest goblins are in-world common knowledge to be found on the second floor, but we also learn later that "goblin" is a slur against half-foots, and knowing Dunmeshi's philosophy about humanoid monsters it's odd that they never ever come up again if they exist. The anime -and iirc adventurer's bible- kept there being goblins on the second floor of the dungeon, so much like Thistle's early appearance I have to believe it's a part of canon that's not meant to be retconned, ie that's canon and accepted as such, with some degree of intent. We do know that the climax of the manga was going to happen differently with what Kui was planning in the earlier manga days, with demon king dunlord Laios, too. Regardless of all this, for better or worse we have what we have now, and we must take it all into account as the whole picture of the work's story, setting and cast– starting to pick and choose what's actually canon from the canon story is just giving up and letting the world burn lol.

2) Kui is fearless when it comes to presenting us with complex layered relationships without feeling the need for them to explain themselves or offering full closure. Marcille canonically sees Falin as a friend. Laios' succubus was undebatably Marcille. Mickbell sees Kuro as family. Were the Touden parents bad parents? Is Maizuru? Is Milsiril? Ambiguity in Dunmeshi's case is a feature and not a bug, and perhaps this short story of Kui's shows why she prefers not to cast moral judgement as a narrator on various acts and characters. There's this very neutral approach to her writing where the cast does its own thing and she just tells us what happens, and as I said closure isn't a given. I've talked about the matter of whether or not Chilchuck's wife accepts him back before, something that bothers and lingers for a lot of readers, but an example that haunts me is Mickbell and Kuro. It's explicitly stated that Mickbell continues to "still being worked hard by Mickbell" after canon, and though we have one hint of how it might get better with Kuro learning common slowly but surely, there's no 1) conclusions as to what their relationship is exactly and 2) discouraging or encouraging framing for it, there's chiding but ultimately whether the relationship is more healthy than it is unhealthy and more salvageable than unsalvageable and "worth it" isn't answered. What happens will happen, and we just have to come to an answer that satisfies us on our own :') Or hey, how Falin only starts finding herself in post-canon! It offers a nice end to her arc in canon of having a very malleable unpresent identity, but it starts another of self-exploration growth that is left open-ended. So, it's not because a relationship feels wrong or unfinished that it wasn't well-written or intended.

3) Kui doesn't lie but characters can. Characters can be unaware of things or even wrong, even with their own feelings, like Chilchuck saying he doesn't care about the party etc etc, or more widely Marcille thinking orcs are scum, or people at large in Dunmeshi believing in a modified truth of history, a version of it without the demon. These can be wrong objectively, but furthermore they can be disproved by the text, the way that Dunmeshi shows us orcs can be communicated with and peaceful etc etc and every character's racism ends up narratively or implicitly discouraged and disproven, kobolds included. The story is told by us through the characters and their actions, so it's their flawed perspective and incomplete information that we have.

So, okay. Relationships are very complex but Kui doesn't tell lies, there's no info or moments that really have been retconned. The reader is left to make their own interpretation of canon.

... OKAY LAST TANGENT but we have to acknowledge something about canon quick too: This is gonna sound ironic considering what I said earlier but while all extras are made to be in-character they're not all canon to the storyline, so to speak. There are sort of three types of extra comics context I can think of, there are comics set in pre or post canon, like the one about the way Marcille was welcomed into Laios' party, or Falin's answer to Toshiro's proposal, which we have no reason to not believe happened in the canon timeline. Daydream Hours extras are exceptions because they're usually looser than Adventurer's bible extras, for example the comic about Milsiril visiting Kabru has a "what if" phrasing to the blurb, implying it didn't happen. Then there are extras set vaguely in time that if during canon could simply happen off-screen, like Chilchuck's extra about hearing the party members going to the bathroom, a lot of monster tidbits also fit into this, which again I have no reason to assume haven't happened. But now we get to the last type, the one set at a precise moment in canon that is impossible. My go-to example is the tidbit about werewolves, it's set during the Laios vs Lycion fight with Kabru present, and those chapters in the story had quite tight plotting, it makes no sense to consider that extra within the reality of that moment, it breaks the tone and story continuity and timespan of the scene, it can't be canon to the canon storyline. This is to say that again, although in every extra the lore is correct and characters are in-character, some extras are not "canon" to the story's timeline and can't have actually happened. And since it happened with one extra that didn't have any disclaimer of being different than any other, it does put other extras' canonity into question a bit too. Ultimately, what we get in the actual manga is above everything else in both relevance and credibility. This is about extra comics, but I don't call into question all the extra info through text we get in character blurbs and about the Dunmeshi world within the Adventurer's Bible at all, especially since it was specifically made to inform us more about canon. This is all just something to keep in mind, when talking about Dunmeshi canon.

Okay, now. In terms of rin & Kabru's relationship, as for what we see of it...

The quickest summary of how they see each other:

Rin's line reflects how she follows him out of worry, thinking that his ambitious manipulating ways will fail him and get him in trouble eventually, and how that worry is out of care and love. Kabru's line... Is more ambiguous, but we'll get into it.

We don't see Kabru and Rin interact a ton, but we do see him bring her up/think of her unprompted this time, which reveals a bit of how he sees her/feels about her and what his priorities are.

He "wants to help her get away somehow", and this out of what? Duty? Charity? Care? The companionship they once shared? Sympathy, knowing how it feels like to be under inadequate care by elves? Kabru is empathetic and wants good for people, cares about people and community, is rather concerned by the greater good instead of individualistic gain etc etc, so this attention isn't necessarily uncharacteristic on its own.

What makes their bond unique is the history between them.

It's implied they spent a lot of time together growing up, which led to Rin wanting to stick with him. Perhaps as some trauma-fueled-bond hero, but in her own words mostly because she's worried he'll get into trouble if he's left alone. She expicitly loves him romantically, started presumably before canon and presumably hasn't stopped by the end of it either.

We see his priorities here. It's notable that besides Rin being the sort of by default second most important kabru party character, she's also the one he thinks of first, understandably since he knows her best. Like above, he speaks very matter-of-factly and coldly about it though, and he seems surprisingly apathetic. It's not the thought of hostages that drives him to eat those monsters and keep strong, it's the thought of learning the mystery of dungeons and how to prevent Utaya tragedies

This moment below may seem like nothing, but it's also pretty telling of their dynamic:

Rin in the moment negatively assumes he's only frivolously interested in Namari, and although Kabru doesn't shut it down instantly with a "this isn't about personal interest" he does imply clearly with "friends" that his intent isn't to woo her (the fantranslation uses the word lovers instead iirc, so the original japanese word might be more revealing. Considering how Kabru sometimes teases Rin and provokes her jealousy on purpose like with the mermaids, it's not impossible the word was an euphemism). Rin ambiguously disbelieves this and/or disapproves. It does feel like Kabru keeps this sort of persona air when answering her, so it's not entirely hard to understand- it's true he was keeping his real reasons and intent secret: only later on does he give his party the "Laios party" spiel and mention Namari was part of it.

This can also be seen as an example of the chaperone "big sister" effect of her nagging, and of her recurring bad faith towards him. Rin chastises Kabru for behavior and stances that are understandable, like telling him he shouldn't just smile and gloss things over when being belittled, but she does have the habit of being easily jealous and lashing out because of it. But again, if you see it from her stance, your childhood friend always thinks he an handle everything alone and acts like he has the fate of the world resting solely on his shoulders, and he keeps shutting you out and leaving you to guess for his intentions, and being someone under his leadership on top of a friend makes this more alarming and frustrating. Loving him as you do, knowing him for as long as you have, you'd wish Kabru was open with you and that'd create frustration.

Yet despite everything there's trust here. There's familiarity and a degree of comfort, even when Kabru always refuses to fully open up. A promise from Kabru means something to her, it's worth something, she does trust his word and morals even when she knows he can be dishonest. She's used to Kabru, and through thick and thin she wants to be there to support him in his goals and look after him.

But below, his priorities are reaffirmed. He literally pushes her out of his way in that first page, to get to laios who represents his goals, and then figuratively by brushing her off. I think it's very interesting that the look her gives her feels alike to the look he gives Laios shortly before, those sort of empty eyes. They make me think it's his mask-on "business mode" look, and when it's a matter of business things have gotten serious and he will not entertain irrelevant matters. Like Rin's feelings. My first instinct's always been that his look at her meant a resounding "shut up", but it's true it could also easily be a "come on, catch up", especially since he goes on to explain that they mustn't have meant harm in the first place.

It's not only the look that's cold though, because you'll remember, "catching the culprits" was the promise Kabru made to her, the one she trusted that made her agree to their party's plan at all in the first place. Even though the phrasing wasn't precise on that front, by giving up on confronting or punishing Laios' party at all he's breaking his promise, and doing so very dismissively.

It's the distance of it, in how cold he is to her, how distant from him and pushed away by him she feels. It seems to say that yes, the teases he does are meaningless bones he throws at her, the moments they share are below him and below his goals, this is what's important to him and this is how Kabru wants to treat her when push comes to shove. With harsh chiding of his own and then calm explanations, as if while she's heartfelt with him he's indifferent with her.

Although, like how in the end he doesn't want to kill Laios despite it being the safe choice, there's much to say on wether or not he would actually throw her under the bus in the end even if cornered. He always steels himself for the worst, but he's also more talk than bite when it comes to truly being effortlessly ruthless and he prefers to find peaceful and humane solutions. In the end though, the hostage situation more or less tips the scale both ways, even if it'd be easy to say he was simply hiding his concern.

Okay and now to quicken things up this is where I start dividing interpretations as "good faith" as in believing Kabru's explanation that he has a strictly sisterly attachment to her, vs "bad faith" where there is potential for considering romantic interest on his end.

To start with the least questionable:

"We're talking about how cute your smile is, Rin." Good faith: He's complimenting his friend, wants her to not feel insecure, wants her to feel more confident and likeable desirable, because he's nice or because he cares about her. It does make her happy in the end, after all. Knowing it would, he might even have said it just to demonstrate his point to Mickbell with her reaction. Bad faith: You know she likes you, isn't this weird to go out of your way to say? He's not lying exactly, but they were moreso talking about her attitude around smiling, and he could just as easily have deflected or said "Oh, nothing much". Bringing up her appearance or how cute she is could also have made her self-conscious, she's not really the kind that likes public attention- but he knows her the best and it shows, after all. In the end, it doesn't sound like something you'd just tell someone you know pines after you that you want to turn down or discourage from pursuing you.

"When she furrows her brows, I assume she's smiling inside" is also weird to me. Sure she does have this weird situation with emoting going on, but claiming Rin is never angry is factually wrong and always dismissing that anger feels belittling. But this approach to reading Rin and interacting with her would explain why he always teases her, I suppose.

But this is kinda what I mean when I say they are close, in a way, the way he knows how she is with smiling, the way he's comfortable saying things like this to her despite not being someone you just have to interact with occasionally. There IS familiarity there IS intimacy, it's just odd and inconsistently applied.

Kissing her: Good faith: This is an urgent dangerous situation and kissing her is the quickest and most direct way to shut her up, which in his situation he does not have the luxury of time or ressources to think through solutions better. We don't fully know the details of incantation magic's workings, had he slapped his hand over her mouth maybe her lips could have continued moving and chanting so she could have still finished her spell, compared to kissing where it stop both lip movement and sounds from coming out. Plus, kissing her has the added effect of heavily shocking her. In a 'what if' bluray bonus comic Kabru's party faces shapeshifters and he suggests everyone get naked as a quick solution, so it is implied there too that physical intimacy and privacy aren't something he puts above practicality. Bad faith: Gag her. Hell, shove your finger down her throat. 'Master of human anatomy and psychology' here decided he had no other choice than kissing her. In that 'what if' extra I mentioned, Kabru did find another much less practical way to deal with the shapeshifters and went through with that instead, knowing no one would be happy getting naked. Also "It's too bad she looks like a monster", hello what? Neutral: Perhaps he chose, because either way in any case he did choose to, to kiss her precisely because he's mr. master of psychology, because knowing it was Rin he decided kissing was the best approach specifically because it's her, knowing it'd shock her etc etc, regardless of it being tactful or not or if it'd hurt her or even encourage her love for him.

"It's too bad she looks like a monster." Good faith: It's a neutral enough statement that he could mean a couple of different things with it, including wishing he could see her reaction better or speak with her more easily. If we go with the "I wish I wasn't kissing her as a fishman" angle, well, he really hates monsters to a traumatized degree so pseudoincest may be preferrable over monsterfucking. Fair enough. Bad faith: The fantranslation translates it as "it's a shame" instead of "it's too bad", which does lend itself to a less neutral reading, but wether that's reliable and telling or not would depend on the original japanese sentence of course. He could have meant "I wish she looked like anything else but a monster", but "I wish she (at least?) looked like herself when I kissed her" is the most direct interpretation, and then, well. That's pretty damning. To me it sort of feels odd that'd have been the phrasing if that was the case, especially since Kabru especially has noticeable reactions to monsters like shaking, horrified faces and dramatic thoughts. This is his internal thoughts and "Too bad she looks like a monster" feels very casual- the same type of casual that he has when deflecting not being interested in Namari to Rin, aka him being more playful. "I wish she looked like herself when I had to kiss her", like man. Okay. There's a lot of leeway you can give him but it's still odd.

Good faith: ??? I do struggle with this one. A friend of mine has the interpretation that this is an epic own of sorts, that by "always like this" Kabru meant "unable for me to hear you" so he likes not hearing what she says. Reardless, wether his assumption is accurate or not, Kabru is taunting/teasing when he says "look at me, not the mermaids", to what could have very well been just Rin noticing his staring and telling him to focus, and "You'd be cute if you were always like this", and like always he's very casual as he does it, says it like it's nothing, so it could mean nothing deeper. Bad faith: Why do you have to say any of this, what do you think it accomplishes, this counts as flirting in most books. It doesn't make her mood better, it doesn't shut her up, so I can only imagine Kabru simply enjoys doing this, it entertains him for one reason or another. Why do you keep calling her cute why is this a pattern that is forming. Neutral: Presumably, Rin is also unable to hear him since they all wear the earplugs. This would mean that beyond his gesturing, his words aren't meant for her to actually hear.

So.

My honest reaction:

Kabru what is this............. Huh. Kabru. What do you mean

The issue

It's less intimidating when analyzing each piece of interaction one by one to slowly form a wider picture, but it's still quite the puzzle. Because ultimately, what he feels for her aside, he is both pushing her away and encouraging her crush on him. He is both keeping her out and leading her on. He is both trying to keep a distance and throwing her bones to latch onto. And huh. Why though.

He's too socially savvy not to know Rin likes him right? Right? He even teases her about being jealous. He has to. He hassss to. And then obviously he has no intent of reciprocating. Especially since he's a huge flirt with anyone and Rin makes it clear she feels jealous.

Then, it feels kinda cruel...? You don't have to flirt, or taunt her because you know she likes you, and blow her off like that without ever having a serious talk. And like I said, shove your finger in there instead of kissing her. Did he do it because he prefers her being kissed over her puking? Was it out of pity? Throwing her crumbs of attention? Is him wanting her out of the elves' grasp just pity? Is it soooo easy for Kabru to tease her and kiss her despite having no feelings of his own, borderline mocking how deeply she loes him and what it means to her? Is doing all this "for her sake" too, like bringing her along was? Just. Free Rin. Free Rin of this.

In the end, what side of "does Kabru like Rin or not" you fall on pretty much depends on wether you favor a consistent "good faith" reading or a consistent "bad faith" reading, which impression you got while reading. But I hope I was able to show that both sides have reasons to think it and both are coherent interpretations of canon, neither are just being dense or difficult for the sake of it. A Kabru interpretation differs almost person to person. Personally I think the ambiguity itself is telling, which is why I usually land with a weird ambiguous situationship characterisation with them, they're a third secret thing and Kabru's feelings for her are complicated imo. He doesn't love her but he doesn't not love her etc. Dungeon Meshi largely lets the reader come up with their own interpretations of details, Kui herself said interpreting characters however is readers' freedom, and the story also avoids romance in general.

Although, there's debate as to wether he even leads her on at all, and personally I think it's pretty undeniable regardless of his intent, if anything even just going by effect.

All I can safely say is that this is not the behavior of someone smartly turning someone down.

Potential 'why's

BUT you could almost say he's purposefully trying to hurt her by being jokingly flirty and casual about it all, which could be to push her away and discourage her from pursuing him, wether it be for her sake or his own. It is a ship post, but I explore this stance a bit in my previous kabrin post if you're interested and unafraid of shippy brainstorming.

Or, inversely, maybe to him leading her on is a way to spare her feelings. Maybe he feels guilty about her liking him, or maybe he feels like he has to repay her somehow. Where his behavior when teasing her in early canon is rather provoking, most often I'd call his demeanor towards her placating if anything. We do see that Kabru prefers letting people down easy, except when shit is serious in the dungeon I guess, and he tries not to rattle people.

Personally, my favorite niche reading is I think it's his way of avoiding confrontation. He doesn't want to lose her, so he gives her just enough hope to hold onto so she'll keep following him, unknowing that Rin follows him out of a sense of duty of her own rather than romantic hope, because he always underestimates people's like of him like Laios does, assumes that people like him less than they seem because even when they do it's a version of him that's tailored to be likable. So he does this to keep the status quo going and keep her interested without having to reciprocate or commit.

I do think he also takes her for granted a bit. "Whenever she frowns I imagine it's a smile instead" what are you talking about. Like I said earlier, it feels weirdly dismissive and belittling to treat her anger as if it was something else, even assuming it to be joy- and there's merit to calling the anger Rin often shows a misdirected feeling, because yes, it's out of worry and care and love and she has a hard time emoting outside of a harsh-seeming scope etc, but is this what's going on here? His words leave me equally intrigued and concerned.

And like, her caring anger coupled by her nagging and scolding and looking after him unconditionally, I'm sure she does frustrate him sometimes and makes him feel stifled especially with his background at Milsiril's, making the big sister comparison very understandable... ... BUT THEN WHY LEAD HER ON.

What he could feel

Okay so first of. "She sort of feels like how it'd be like to have a big sister" and "I see her as a sister, I strictly see her as if we shared family ties and she was the blood of my blood" are different. Kabru being like "Man, I wished she looked like herself when I had to kiss her" does not feel like a brother-sister thing to me, personally.

But hey, going with the opposite angle too- "She's like a sister to me" can be an easy shorthand to say "I care about you but I don't see you romantically or sexually at all" and it can be "you are deeply important to me and our bond would remain no matter the distance or time we are apart" and even "I can't imagine my life without you (no romo)". In many languages like french, the word soulmate instead literally translates as 'sister soul', as in a twin soul etc etc-. A husband and a wife, too, are family. This is to say that both familial love and romantic love can run very deep, with a similar intensity just in a different nature, platonic or romantic. Kabru doesn't necessarily feel very strongly towards Rin even with the sister angle, but what I'm saying is that if it isn't just a catchphrase to let Rin down easy, whether something he would tell Rin or just something he tells himself, then it's not entirely out of the question Kabru would mix up the nature of that affection he feels for her. Maybe being childhood friends, he thinks it makes sense for it to be what he feels for her. I don't think this is necessarily farfetched because we see that Kabru neglects his own needs heavily for the sake of his goals, he doesn't recognize or acknowledge his needs for social connections or things like sleeping, cooking and keeping his living quarters orderly. I think it's in character for him to dismiss outright that he could be in love with someone, and even for him to suppress it, because he can't let anything be more important to him than preventing more Utaya tragedies. If you subscribe to the idea that Kabru wanted to be Laios' friend at the back of his mind, this is in line with that.

Regardless of the "truth"/intent, I agree Kabru treating 'his sister' Rin the way he did in canon is really mega major weirdo of him though.

He sees her as a sister, or he believes he does. With a romantic angle, it could mean: Denial, repression, having a bond that feels as deep and immutable. Leading her on because: wanting her near but still pushing her away, being interested and scared to admit it, thinking he shouldn't let himself have this, not interested but still wanting the safety net of her.

Again with my own interpretation, I think he loves her the way one loves a safety net. What I and others may mean when we say that we think Kabru doesn't love her but he also doesn't not love her. I think this is why he's both taking her for granted and caring, dismissive and considerate, her "brother figure" but also the guy who will flirt with her without a second thought. A safety net the way one is comforted by a big sister mayhaps, who's disapproving yet always unconditionally there to help. But family and comfort are so closely tied together, it's unsurprising they get entangled sometimes, a lot of behaviors can be seen as both romantic and familial and it's just a matter of the facts and perspective, because in the end what they are both is loving- and canonically, Rin loves Kabru romantically and Kabru cares for Rin like a sister.

Conclusion

I've said before that I think you can call them each other's best friend and that that's sad, and I stand by it. I think it's easy to argue that Rin is the one who knows Kabru best currently in his life, and the reverse is true for Kabru knowing Rin best. It's lonely, for both of them I think, Rin's kind of tough love is not working for him and Kabru is not filling Rin's emotional needs.

The reason why Kabru might feel like he has to get Rin out of the elves' grasp is because she has no one else, at least no one else that was deemed important enough to have been referred to or implied at all. And Rin calls him out for his shallow behavior and his unhealthy habits. They're close enough and weirding others around them enough that people like Mickbell notice when they heatedly do their song and dance and argue but hey, this is just another monday, and how Mickbell asumes she cleans his place up for him because that's what intuitively makes the most sense- it's the first thought, the most intuitive. Rin would do anything for Kabru and devotes herself to helping him, after all.

Reminder that this is the guy we're talking about:

I think her concern is worried tbh, he doesn't know what a DUST CLOTH is and he's pretty unhealthy, forgetting to eat and drinking to go to sleep, overworking himself. He'd easily work himself into an early grave. He neglects himself. I've said before in my Kuro x Kabru post that I think Kabru focuses so much on the bigger picture and saving the world that he forgets that he himself is important too, that he's truly special to some people, that he's even some people's hero, not just the world's, and I think to a degree it's good that Kabru has someone there to ground him and scold him when he's being thoughtless or overthinking, to try to show him that he's loved and valued, in her own way which he claims to understand so well like he does her smiles.

Kabru's a character where fan interpretations especially differ, he's hard to read when it comes to the details, so his relationship with Rin is very much a grey zone, especially when trying to precisely pin it down. I think though that it is a mistake to say that Rin isn't special to him in some shape or form.

I talk about human connections as a big theme of Dunmeshi sometimes, as this thing everyone needs but may deny themselves or deny that they do need and want, and Kabru and Rin are part of that theme, to me.

Post-canon, Rin and Kabru continue to see each other, presumably semi-regularly, which is an implication from an extra that we don't get with the other Kabru party members. They stay in touch, because what tied them together was never work but a personal tie.

This ask took long af to write up but it's gonna make my Kabru party analysis easier later yay. Little preview of the chart i made.

I'll remind that Mickbell and Kuro's relationship is also stated to be of a familial nature. Contradictions aren't always mistakes, people are made of them! Just like how ambiguity can be a narrative tool, complexity and dissonance can be a feature and not a bug.

[brainddeadd]

Jack request

You’ve both had crushes on each other periodically since meeting except you’ve never both been single at the same time. So what happens when you’re both finally single and Jack calls you while intoxicated?

Midnight Confessions

The night was winding down, the faint sounds of laughter and clinking glasses echoing through the streets as the party wrapped up. You’d decided to stay in, your thoughts drifting back to Jack Hughes—the boy you’d shared countless smiles and lingering glances with since your first meeting. It was always the same story: one of you was dating someone, and the moment the stars seemed aligned, life would throw a curveball.

As you sank deeper into your couch, scrolling mindlessly through your phone, a notification popped up. It was Jack. You had expected a text, but instead, your phone rang with his name lighting up the screen. Your heart raced. It was late, and you knew he was out celebrating after a game.

“Hello?” you answered, trying to keep your voice steady despite the flutter of nerves in your stomach.

“Hey! Is this a bad time?” Jack’s voice was slightly slurred, but there was an unmistakable excitement beneath the intoxication.

“Not at all. What’s up?” you replied, a smile creeping onto your face.

“I just… I just wanted to call you because—” He paused, and you could hear him shifting around, probably trying to find a comfortable spot away from the noise of the party.

“Because what?” you prompted, your curiosity piqued.

“Because I miss you,” he admitted, and your heart skipped a beat. “You know, I’ve always liked you, right? Like, since the first time we met?”

Your breath caught in your throat. This was a confession you had dreamed of but never expected to hear. “Yeah, I mean… I’ve felt the same way,” you confessed, your cheeks warming even though he couldn’t see you.

“Seriously? Why didn’t we ever do anything about it?” His words rushed out, revealing his frustration, or maybe it was just the alcohol talking.

“Timing, I guess?” you replied, chuckling softly. “You’ve always had a girlfriend, and I was never single at the same time.”

“I know! But we’re both free now,” he said, his voice brightening with enthusiasm. “What if we change that? I mean, if you want to, that is.”

A thrill ran through you. “Are you suggesting we go on a date, Jack Hughes?”

“Yeah, I am,” he said, a hint of confidence peeking through his drunkenness. “We can finally see if this thing between us is real. What do you say?”

You hesitated for just a moment, weighing the possibilities. “I say yes.”

“Great! I’ll pick you up tomorrow. We can grab dinner and maybe go for a walk by the lake?” His excitement was palpable, and you could practically feel the tension of your unspoken feelings easing.

“Sounds perfect,” you replied, feeling giddy.

“Okay, I’m gonna let you go before I start spilling more secrets,” he laughed. “But just so you know, I’ve thought about this a lot. You’re amazing, and I can’t wait to see you.”

“Same here, Jack. Get some rest, okay?”

“I will. Goodnight!” He hung up, leaving you breathless and buzzing with anticipation.

As you set your phone down, a grin stretched across your face. Tomorrow would be the beginning of something new—something you had both wanted for so long. The thought sent a rush of excitement through you, and you finally felt like the stars had aligned, giving you both the chance to explore what had always been just beneath the surface.

[onredrouge]

skk hate each other, and no one's actually surprised.

Everyone seems to be losing their shit over what Asagiri has said. And when I said everyone, it's mostly those skk haters celebrating their imagined downfall of Soukoku. To be honest, what Asagiri said doesn't surprise me anymore. 

I don't really get people saying Dazai and Chuuya don't hate each other when that has been the foundation of their relationship ever since their first meeting. They're both strong in their own ways, and they showcase that by never concealing what they feel about each other. Both of them have never been passively aggressive about that. They show it with their words and their actions; their entire dynamic is built on the fact that they hate each other's guts. Sometimes (or most of the time), it is that "oh, I hate you so much and you should pay attention to me so I could show you how much I hate you" kind of hatred. At some point, it was a childish exchange between two teenagers finally finding a sort of escape from their toxic environment in the form of annoying the hell out of each other. They spent time together, blah, blah, blah, and then it turned to an unexplainable visceral kind of hatred that allows them to work so well with each other like one soul in two bodies. Is it toxic? Maybe it is, just like all the other things they experienced and would never deserve. They're not some high school friends meeting up in a park after class. They're both morally gray individuals who find a sort of familiarity between their shared hatred towards each other. I can't really explain, and I don't even want to try putting into words the kind of connection they have. That's mostly the reason why they're so interesting. Soukoku have this kind of connection that will make you want to rip your hair out just trying to find the right words to describe them.

Hating someone doesn't mean you can't feel other things for them. I think Asagiri just meant to say that hatred is not a mask for anything, mainly because they've always been upfront with their feelings for each other. Whatever other emotions they feel for each other have always been hinted at. I don't know about what Asagiri wants to say about that but it's there. I'd love to see more exploration of their dynamics because I'm genuinely crazy about them, but I've accepted it a long time ago that there's a slim chance Asagiri's going to do any of that. Dazai's still so heavily connected to the mafia, the whole agency is; however, there are so many other connections Asagiri would choose to discuss when it comes to Dazai, and his relationship with Chuuya's most definitely not going to be the first choice no matter how interesting it is for the majority. (I'm going to still dream about that every day though.) It doesn't mean their relationship is suddenly unimportant; that would be contrary to what has been brewing in the manga. It doesn't mean their connection is a thing of the past as their lives are still very much intertwined with each other. However, a deep exploration of their connection is probably only possible once all the major issues in the manga are settled. That's where the derivative works enter the scene. Asagiri's not really going to give us any deeper insight on the other dynamics of their relationship, so fans are free to interpret them in any way they like (just not in a way that trashes their individual characters, like what some skk fans do). Who knows?  Maybe someday we'll learn something more about them. Right now, one thing we're sure about is their hatred for each other (as confirmed by the author himself) and the countless different possibilities fan works can explore. They hate each other? Wow, would you look at that? Another added spice to many series of fics that are sure to come. Soukoku's not ending. Unless Chuuya's going to weirdly disappear in mersault arc, then I don't think this downfall you all are wishing for is going to happen.

[buckystrutssogood]

Bucky finds twitter

"Steve?"

Steve glanced at Bucky to where he was sitting at the dining tablen with a tablet grasped tightly in his hands, face stretched into a confused frown.

Steve had expected some sort of confusion from him, given that he was exploring social media for the first time, not to forget that it was &Twitter& out of all places. He still remembered his own first time of exploring the app, and he could confirm from experience that those people were unhinged.

"Yes Buck?" He called out over the noises from the movie, cringing at the scream the (very stupid) main character let out. Tony had insisted on watching a horror movie for that week's movie night, and had eventually won the hour long argument with the Clint by bribing him with a ride in the iron man suit. The thought of the iron man shooting arrows made Steve feel both amused and worried out of his mind about the public's reactions.

However, their team was nothing if not filled with master manipulaters.Others got involved in the discussion and now there was a calendar hanging next to the TV with their movie night schedule on it, filled till July. It was still March. He sometimes wondered how the world would feel knowing their supposed defenders of the planet were planning movies nights weeks in advance, but he couldn't be bothered to give any less of damn, because Bucky had stayed through the entire discussion and Steve could swear he noticed a hint of smile on his face at the antics of his teammates.

Seconds passed as Steve waited for a response but there was none. He quickly turned his head towards the dining table to his right, and watched as Bucky continued to stare at the screen. His posture was tense, similar to when he encountered something unfamiliar. Steve saw that a lot these days, as Bucky slowly recovered and acclimated to his new life.

It had been 4 months since Bucky had been pardoned for his crimes as the Winter Soldier and a year and a half since he pulled a drowning Steve out from the Potomac. It had taken the team months of searching and chasing to finally track him down to a hydra base in Bucharest. Steve had felt his heart shatter into a million more pieces when he watched his Bucky try to fight his way out with a dead-weight arm, with one leg bleeding through a nasty gash, looking like he hadn't slept or eaten for weeks. They were able to contain him eventually, much to Steve's protests, but he was glad they had taken the step, because Bucky had looked like he was a day away from starving/ bleeding to his death.

It was a rocky road of recovery from then. Steve had managed to get Bucky to trust him, maybe even think of him as his friend, but he had planned to keep the knowledge of their relationship hidden, incase it freaked him out and he tried to run.

Bucky had found out eventually, because the internet had their theories and Steve could never lie to him. He had been anticipating a panicked reaction but all he got was a nod and statement that it won't be like this between them because he doesn't trust Steve yet. Steve had never expected to be so delighted by a rejection. He tried to also Enot& jump with glee at the glimmer of hope that arose when he heard the yet.

"Why do people keep referring to me as their father?" Bucky asked, confusion clear in his voice, like he was unable to comprehend whatever he saw on the screen.

Also. What?

Steve opened his mouth to ask what the hell he meant but was cut off by the TV abruptly pausing shut, leaving the previously noisy room, in pin drop silence.

All heads turned toward Bucky with surprise, and in Tony's case, pure glee. Bucky on the other hand reacted exactly like Steve had sensed he would. His posture went rigid as he jumped up from his seat,mouth stretching into a deeper frown.At the moment, Steve had a pressing urge to yell at his teammates for startling him knowing full well how he reacts to sudden movements.

"Boy, you are in for a surprise" Sam chimes in with his own giggle as he takes a sip of his beer.

Bucky drops the tablet and gets up from the chair, jerking away from it like he's expecting it to blow up. He let's out a frustrated growl. "What is it?"

Steve's face heats up in realisation as everything falls into place. He remembers the first time he opened a social media account and encountered such messages. He refused to believe it was real at first, but then Tony had showed him several messages addressing Iron man the same way. The internet is weird. He wonders how Bucky would react. He wouldn't have expected the old Bucky to be bothered by it, hell he would have even found it flattering, but this Bucky was just starting to assimilate with this century, Steve wasn't sure how much of a shock this would be.

Tony sighs before he gestures at Bucky to join them around on the sofa "Before you have a meltdown and break my expensive furniture again, let me show you what's going on, Jarvis, do the honors". He swipes his fingers in the air, andbrings up a projection of a Youtube video, titled "Winter Soldier badass moments".

He notices Bucky staring at the screen in the air, unmoving from his place. His eyes find Steve as if looking for assurance, posture still rigid with uncertainty Steve puts on a gentle smile, as he scoots away from Natasha, creating space for him to sit on the sofa next to him. " It's okay Buck, come on". He pats the space invitingly.

Steve's heart melts a little when Bucky instinctively shifts closer to him as he sits down on the sofa. Bucky was still getting used to living as a free man, and Steve could relate with the anxiety that the new things of the century bought in front of them. He longs to put his arm around him and pull him into a cuddle, but decides against it. Bucky won't be comfortable, it will probably freak him out even more.

The video starts to play. It's a clip from the press conference that took place after a mutant-dog attack in new york. Steve watches as the Winter Soldier on the screen, scowls at the journalist.

"Who gave you your licence?no we didn't care before killing them They were rabid creatures. You would be dead within a minute of being near one." His scowl deepens as he mumbles irritated to Steve next to him "Is letting stupid people in part of the inclusivity??" Without realising his mic is still on. The crowd erupts into gasps and bits of laughters as the screen goes blank with a beep.

Beside Steve, Bucky looks slightly embarrassed.

"Hey I already apologized for it. I didn't know my mic was on, if you need me to do it again l'Il-"

The screen goes bright with another clip. This one is of a worse quality, clearly recorded on a cheap mobile by a bystander, in the middle of one of their battles against hydra after they hunted down their base. The Winter Soldier comes into view, dropping from a height with his left hand wrapped around an agent's throat, as his right shoots through the hydra agent approaching Steve from behind, while he was distracted fighting a group of 3 in front of him. The hydra agent is down before Bucky hits the ground.

Another beep, and then another video of Bucky in field or with reporters. And then another.

"You see Sargeant Barnes, all of these instances are displays of alpha behaviour. Strong, Protective, Assertive and Angry. This is-" Javrvis is cut off by Bucky.

"Ofcourse I was angry, we were in battle! I wasn't going to hug the hydra agents and song them lullabies to get them to drop their weapons"

Jarvis doesn't seem phased. "

...and grumpy. This

is the type of personality that the internet has deemed similar to that of a strong father figure.

However, the meaning has evolved over the years to refer to a dominant partner. According to some psychology journals-"

"Okay J, l've got it from here." Tony interrupts, typing into his phone as another screen pops up.

This time it is of a series of tweets, all referring to the Winter Soldier as daddy.

"But..why would they..how is it sexual?" Bucky's face contorts into that of a confused child learning of the existanve of alphabets in maths.

"that's just what some people are into man" Sam adds, shoulders shrugged.

Bucky seems to think it over for 2 minutes before he nods. Steve has a sudden urge to know how exactly his mind processed the information. "Do you. also get referred to ..like that?" He asks suddenly, eyes moving around the room nervously.

A series of 'yes' echoes around the room. Steve and Bucky both snap their head towards Natasha from where is smirking into her beer bottle. Steve is still processing the information when Bucky turns towards him.

"did we ever...call eachother.that?" He asks, eyebrowed furrowed.

Steve sputters as he struggles to swallow the beer in his mouth. He feels his cheeks warm as he shifts uncomfortablely. Bucky obviously didn't remember much about their time together in the war but it hadn't taken him long to figure out how badly Steve was in love with him. He had Apologized for not reciprocating and Steve had said he was just glad Bucky was here and safe with him. Did it hurt to talk about it? Yes. Was he glad Bucky hadn't reacted badly to it? Also yes.

Bucky was still confused, and Steve would face any amount of hurt to help him feel better.

"No" he laughs uneasily. "No Buck, I don't think this was something that was common at the time". Bucky stares at him for a minute before nodding.

"You done with question hour there Buckaroo? We still have a movie to watch" Tony quips, swiping the screens away. Bucky merely nods, before getting up from the couch to get back to his tablet.

***************************************************

Steve let's out a laugh as he looks at the screenshots of Bucky's tweet earlier.

User: (replied to a photo) he is such a daddy. No one can convince me otherwise.

WSargebarnes:, I am not a father and do not have children. Please stop sharing fake news on the web.

The post had millions of retweets. Steve sighed as he let out a chuckle. Bucky was being funny without realising it. He was happy that the people adored him. He deserves it, after everything he has been through.

Steve smiles to himself as he shuts off the lights and gets into bed.

His phone buzzes again and he flips over to grab it from the nightstand.

WSargebarnes: I realised my mistake with understanding the context of 'daddy'. Although Steve and I haven't used it during our time together, I understand that it is quite common now and am not bothered by it.

Steve winces as he thinks about the media circus that will rise tomorrow. It's their fault for not warning Bucky about talking about them in public but now that's its out Steve doesn't care. Bucky can deal with them, and his fans can have more clips to be fond of.

Steve was suddenly glad Sam pressured Bucky into a Twitter account. He liked the tweet and shut off his phone. He pushes his face into his pillow and smiles.

He feels lighter than he ever has.

[magugbigug]

Re your Voltron legacy analysis post:

As someone who has not ventured into the original franchises before vld, I truly struggle to see where any chemistry between Keith and Allura may lie.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t because I am set on any other ship. Though I have to admit I can at least understand the dynamic of basically every other ship. Somehow, I can picture Keith with literally everyone except Allura.

What is the Allura and Keith dynamic like for you? How do they fit together in a vld context? Can they fit in a vld context? I understand that both their characterisations are changed in vld. Would it be similar to the shiro and Allura dynamic in season 1/2? Is it just something I need to watch the previous shows to understand?

Cheers

That’s a fair question. VLD definitely changed both Keith and Allura from their past iterations, which makes their dynamic less immediately recognisable compared to earlier versions of Voltron. But for me, their potential in VLD comes from their parallels and the subtleties in their interactions.

Both of them struggle with loss, identity, and leadership in ways that mirror each other. Keith with his Galra heritage and role as Black Paladin, Allura with the weight of being the last of her kind and the pressures of being a leader. They clash, but they also push each other to grow. There’s an underlying understanding between them that builds over time, even if it’s not the most overtly romantic dynamic in the show. Honestly, I think it could have worked if the show had leaned into it more, but maybe I’m just bitter (or projecting).

I think a lot of Kallura’s potential in VLD comes down to the subtleties in their dynamic—things that aren’t outright stated but still present if you’re looking for them. And I’ll admit, I’m not always the best at picking up on those details myself (often if it's not explicitly stated I likely won't get it, sometimes I don't get it even if it is explicitly stated), but thankfully, people way better at media analysis have pointed out a lot of moments that hint at something deeper.

For example, I saw a post someone once noted that in the alternate reality episode, when an explosion goes off, everyone else is focused on the blast—but for a single frame, Keith is looking at Allura instead. Little things like that, while not definitive, suggest where his priorities lie. Another thing that stood out to me is how there are only two people Keith truly seems to care about impressing: Shiro and Allura. He’s always visibly upset when he thinks Allura hates him—especially after his Galra heritage is revealed—and that says a lot for someone who normally shuts people out.

There’s also the fact that Keith and Allura are the only two who make the decision to run away together to protect the team. It speaks to a similarity in their thinking, their sense of loyalty, and their willingness to take on burdens alone. If Keith had stayed at the Castle instead of joining the Blade, I think we could have seen that dynamic explored even more, and maybe their bond would have strengthened in a way that made their connection more obvious.

I also think a big part of why it never fully developed was Keith leaving to join the Blade. If he’d stayed at the Castle, we might have seen more of their dynamic evolve, especially with how they both dealt with grief and responsibility. They were on parallel arcs, but the distance meant they never really got the chance to explore that connection. If things had played out differently—if Keith had been there during Allura’s lowest points or if they’d had more time to rely on each other—it’s easy to imagine a stronger bond forming.

That said, I totally get why it’s not an obvious pairing in VLD. The Shiro/Allura dynamic in the early seasons does have some similar beats, but Keith and Allura’s potential would’ve been more about equals learning to trust and rely on each other rather than mentor/student or protector/leader. If you ever do check out the older series (and I highly recommend you do), you might see where some of the history comes from—but I’d argue their potential in VLD exists regardless.

If you ever want to get a sense of how other people interpret it (people smarter than me), taking a peek at the Kallura tag (admittedly biased as it is) might help! But I totally get why it’s not something that stands out if you’re not looking for it.

Again, I could just be really bitter, but I'll let you decide that.

I hope this is a good answer because, as I said, I'm terrible at analysing (just ask my English teacher).

Cheers!

[embodiedsexualitytarot]

(18+) Pick an image: allow your intuition to guide you.

🍒| Cherry and Whipped Cream

I see pain and pleasure side by side. You may enjoy hard or tedious tasks because it leads to praise. It feels like you enjoy attention and getting flowers or accolades for your work. I see a child-like attitude as well, that can be headstrong maybe even “bratty” at times.

With this child-like energy, I see someone who likes to feel in control. The praise and recognition bring attention to the traits you know that you’re good at, so it feels good to be able to show them.

I sense that you already know this about yourself but it seems you’re afraid to dive any deeper. You understand that praise feels good but, feel unsure of how to explore it in other ways. The fear or pause may come from “not knowing how deep the rabbit hole goes”.

I see that a whole other world awaits you, almost like a double life or maybe a night life. You may even take up an alter ego or secret identity to take steps towards where your curiosity is leading you.

Advice: You have the power to step in and out of worlds (communities and spaces) whenever you feel like it. All you have to do is make the choice to take the step.

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👠| Red Heels

There is no doubt that this is about dominance and submission. I feel that you may be a switch or simply have experience in both roles. The past energy shows me a small individual forcing a larger individual to submit. I use the word force because the energy of the card feels harsh (verbally and physically). You may secretly enjoy, that power is not dependent by size.

Next, I see that you may be playing more of a submissive role. I see someone being tied up, blindfolded, and/or being harmed in some way. There could be different forms of harm/pain or one coming from multiple individuals. The last card shows me you may be missing your past or a relationship prior.

Advice: Being in both roles helps you see from each perspective.

(Personal share: I am a switch. When I submitted to a dominant they didn’t treat me exactly the way I wanted to be treated. I realized that I enjoyed being the dominant more because I could treat submissives more kindly than I was. In my practice, I didn’t ask my submissives to do anything I wouldn’t do myself. I used my experience/perspective as a submissive to make that decision for myself.)

In other words, you can take your experiences as a submissive to help you know how you’d like to treat others as a dominant. This is a way to learn what you like and don’t like- AND honor these two desires you have. You may find that one comes more naturally to you than the other.

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🥈| Silver Ball on Chain

The energy here feels romantic and intimate. Because there’s such closeness, I see a lot of trust and proper use of consent. There’s a masculine energy here that likes for others to trust them. You like to earn it especially, from people who have been hurt by another.

The kink feels like a “Prince Charming” or some sort of Daddy caretaker type. But, as romantic as this is, I do feel a hint of possessiveness. It reminds me of beauty and the beast, where he’s gentle with his partner but can switch up if it looks like there’s a threat to the relationship.

Advice: “If you love something let it go. If it comes back it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was yours.”

Although your intentions may be good, your words and behaviors can impact your love interest in a way that makes them feel overwhelmed. It may be helpful for you to release some control over the situation and allow yourself to trust them equally.

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🚨| Readings are for entertainment purposes only. I do not condone illegal acts. Always ask for consent.

If you feel called to support me:

CashApp- $MsSkBlak

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[ltash]

Lost in the heat

You had the best night of your life with Lieutenant Ghost before you two get married.

Ghost x female reader

Warning: 18+, MDNI, Dub Con, Sensual, Hot, p in v.

"The way you make me feel is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.You are my heart, my life, my one and only thought."

Where are you taking me, Ghost?" I asked, a playful tone in my voice as he practically dragged me along, our laughter and giggles echoing through the hallway. His infectious joy was contagious, and for a moment, all the worries and hardships faded into the background.

He stopped suddenly, lifting me effortlessly into his arms. I giggled, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Where are we going?" I teased, enjoying the spontaneous adventure.

"To my room," he teased back, his eyes twinkling mischievously with love and anticipation.

He made me stand in his room and locked the door, the sound of the latch clicking reverberating in the quiet space. His presence was commanding, and as he stepped closer, the anticipation between us grew palpable.

"I’m thankful your mask came off for some time, Simon," I whispered teasingly, biting my lip. My hands found their way to the belt of his pants, playing with it as if testing the waters of this newfound intimacy.

With a gentle but firm push on his chest, I directed him towards the bed. He fell back, leaning on his arms, a mischievous smirk dancing on his face. It was a look that made my heart race and my stomach flip with excitement.

We didn’t need words. The intensity of our gaze spoke volumes. I stood there, absorbing every detail of him—the way his long blonde lashes moved with each blink, the depth of his chocolaty eyes, and even the scars that adorned his face, telling stories of battles fought and survived. Despite them, or perhaps because of them, he looked divine.

His thick thighs seemed to beckon me closer, inviting me into the heat radiating from between his legs. God, this man and his perfectly sculpted body were a masterpiece.

"You are perfect, Simon Riley," I said, my voice filled with awe and affection. Leaning down, I placed my knee between his legs, feeling the heat and desire emanating from him. Our noses touched, a gentle and intimate gesture that sent shivers down my spine.

I started to unbutton his shirt slowly, each button undone with deliberate teasing. "Things I want to do right now with you, Lieutenant Ghost," I whispered in his ear, my breath hot against his skin.

I saw him gulp, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. The anticipation in his eyes mirrored my own. His scent, a mix of his natural musk and a hint of the cologne he wore, was intoxicating, making me wild with desire.

As I slid the shirt off his shoulders, revealing more of his sculpted chest and the tattoos that adorned his skin, I could feel the tension between us building. My hands roamed over his muscles, tracing the lines and curves that I had come to know so well.

He reached up, his fingers threading through my hair, pulling me closer. "You drive me crazy, Angela," he murmured, his voice husky with need.

I smiled, leaning in to kiss the spot just below his ear, feeling the shiver that ran through him. "Then let’s see how crazy we can get," I said, my voice full of promise and desire.

He parted his lips to say something, but I placed a finger over them. "Shh! Lieutenant. No talking. Only listening," I ordered, a playful glint in my eyes.

"Yes, ma'am," he replied, his voice tinged with both amusement and desire.

I traced my finger along his lips before leaning in to kiss him, soft at first, then deeper, more demanding. His hands gripped my waist, pulling me closer as I continued to explore his mouth with mine. His submission in this moment, despite his usual commanding presence, sent a thrill through me.

He followed my lead, obedient to my every touch and command, his eyes never leaving mine.

We moved together, a seamless blend of passion and tenderness.

I slid off the bed, my movements deliberate and slow. Kneeling at his feet, I began to undo the laces of his boots, taking my time with each knot. The room was silent except for the sound of my fingers working through the laces and his quiet, steady breathing.

Once the boots were off, I tossed them aside. I looked up at him, catching his eyes again. They were dark with desire, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

“You don’t know what you do to me, Angela,” he murmured, his voice a husky whisper.

A smile curved my lips. “Oh, I think I have an idea,” I teased, letting my fingers trail up his thighs, feeling the heat radiating from him.

He reached down, his hand cupping my cheek, thumb brushing my skin gently. “Come here,” he commanded softly, but there was no real authority behind his words, only need.

I climbed back onto the bed, straddling his lap, my fingers trailing over the newly exposed skin of his chest. “You’re mine tonight, Simon,” I whispered, leaning down to capture his lips once more.

I started unbuttoning my shirt, each button coming undone slowly, deliberately. His eyes followed every movement, darkening with desire, though the depth of his gaze made it hard to see his dilated pupils. His hands reached up to help, but I gently pushed them away.

"Patience, Lieutenant," I murmured, enjoying the way he shivered at my touch. I shrugged off the shirt, letting it fall to the floor, and his eyes roamed over me, taking in every inch of exposed skin.

"You’re beautiful," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

I leaned in, my hands sliding up his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath my fingertips. "And you’re mine," I replied.

He bit his lip in excitement, his eyes never leaving mine. "You are such a naughty girl, Angela!"

"Am I?" I asked, a playful smirk on my lips.

My hands rested on his belt, playing with it, my gaze fixed on his face. Slowly, I unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his pants. "What are you hiding there, Ghost?" I teased.

"Why don't you see for yourself, Angel?" he replied, his voice thick with anticipation.

"That's what I'm about to do," I said, pulling down the zipper. The heat radiated from his boxers, and he bit his lip again, his excitement palpable. I slid off the bed, sitting on my knees, and tugged his boxers down, revealing his thick, veiny cock.

"Gosh! You are so hard," I teased, stroking his cock slowly. He threw his head back, a gasp escaping his lips.

"Fuck, Angel!" he breathed out, his voice a mix of pleasure and desperation. His reactions spurred me on, and I continued, feeling a sense of power and connection that went beyond mere physicality.

"Does it feel good, Lieutenant?" I teased, my voice low and sultry.

"Yes. So good," he breathed, his voice filled with longing.

His eyes were glued to me, dark and heavy with intoxication and ecstasy. Each whimper and groan that escaped his lips only fueled my desire, the pleasure I was giving him reflected in every sound he made.

"I love everything about you, Simon," I whispered, teasing again. My words seemed to heighten his arousal, his body reacting to my touch, his breaths coming faster and shallower.

"Angel..." he groaned, his hands gripping the sheets. The way he looked at me, the way he responded to my every touch, made me feel powerful and deeply connected to him.

With each stroke, each whisper, I knew this was more than just a moment of passion. It was a testament to the bond we shared, a love that had survived battles, pain, and near-death experiences.

"Don't make me wait any longer, please," he nearly begged, clutching the sheets tighter. His desperation was palpable, and it sent a thrill through me.

I pulled down his pants, followed by his boxers, and the sight of him made my heart race a million miles. He was everything I had ever wanted, everything I needed.

Sitting on my knees between his thick thighs, I stroked them with my hands, feeling the heat radiating from his skin. He leaned down and kissed me, a deep, hungry kiss that left me breathless.

I stood up, and he helped me slip down my jeans and my thong. The anticipation between us was electric. I straddled his thick thighs while he adjusted his cock at my entrance. As I slowly took him in, the stretch brought a wave of intense pleasure. A moan escaped my lips, and I saw the raw need in his eyes.

We moved together, slowly at first, savoring each sensation. His hands roamed my body, and I could feel his muscles tense beneath me. The connection we shared in that moment was profound, a culmination of everything we had been through together.

"Angela," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "I love you."

"I love you too, Simon," I replied, my voice trembling with the intensity of my feelings.

Our lips met in a passionate kiss, his tongue exploring every corner of my mouth while I rode him towards ecstasy. His eyes were filled with raw desire, his face showing a vulnerability I had never seen before. The want and need were etched deeply into his features, making my heart race even faster.

He kissed my neck, nipping at the skin and leaving marks that tingled with a mix of pain and pleasure. A moan escaped my lips, a sound of pure bliss.

I cupped his face, kissing him deeply before pushing him back onto the bed. He held my waist, guiding me back and forth with a firm but gentle grip. His groans were a symphony of pleasure, each one making me go wilder, driving me to give him everything he wanted.

His fingers dug into my hips, and I could feel the intensity of his need in every movement. We moved together in perfect harmony, lost in a world where nothing else mattered. The room was filled with the sounds of our shared passion, the scent of sweat and desire heavy in the air.

He grabbed my thighs and effortlessly lifted me, pinning me against the wall. His hands braced beside my head, and I wrapped my legs around him as he began thrusting into me so deeply it made me jump with each movement. His forehead rested against mine, his eyes boring straight into mine.

“Taking me so well, luvvie. Looks like you were waiting for your Lieutenant to fuck you so bad,” he growled, his words shaking me to the core.

Cries of intense pleasure escaped my mouth as the sensations overwhelmed me. I wrapped my arms around him, clinging to him as he drove me wild.

“Simon!” I moaned, my voice filled with need.

“Here, love. Eyes on me,” he ordered.

I did as he said, my gaze locked onto his. The connection between us was electrifying, every thrust, every touch heightening the intensity. His deep, slow thrusts made my whole body jump, pushing me closer to the edge.

With each powerful movement, he took me higher, his breath hot against my skin.

He pulled out from me and turned me around, making me stand on my tiptoes as his fingers dug into my hips to adjust me. My skin was flushed with heat, sweat beads adorning my face and chest. He thrust into me from behind, fisting my hands on the wall for support. With each powerful movement, he groaned while my knees became weaker and weaker.

Wrapping his arms around me, I leaned back against him, my head resting against his chest as I arched my back. He grabbed my neck and captured my lips with his, our breaths mingling as he pounded into me. My moans were swallowed by his hungry mouth.

"Si' Please make me cum. Please, please," I begged, the intensity of the pleasure making my eyes teary.

"What's the rush, naughty girl?" he teased, fisting my hair and pulling my head back. "You started it, luvvie. Let me finish it at least." His husky, thick voice drove me wild. I was completely at his mercy now.

His pace quickened, each thrust sending waves of ecstasy through me. My body trembled with anticipation, the pleasure building to an unbearable peak. He was relentless, driving me higher and higher until I was on the brink of losing control.

“Simon, I’m so close,” I gasped, my voice breaking with need.

“Hold on for me, love,” he murmured, his breath hot against my ear. “Let’s reach it together.”

"Let's finish where we started," he murmured, pulling out and carrying me in his arms, then throwing me onto the bed. He pulled me close by my waist, spreading my legs wide before thrusting into me deeply. I was caught off guard by his sudden intensity, a gasp escaping my lips.

He lifted me by my waist, his brute strength evident as he pounded into me. I arched my back, holding onto his hands, the overwhelming pleasure making me cry out. His groans mingled with my cries, filling the room with the sounds of our shared ecstasy.

The coil of pleasure tightened and then unraveled around me, throwing me off the edge as I reached my high. Clutching the sheets, a cry escaped me as the intense wave of orgasm washed over me. He followed closely, wrapping himself around me and filling me with his release.

His breaths were heavy as he collapsed onto me, his face buried in the crook of my neck. The weight of him was comforting, grounding me as I came down from the heights of our passion. Overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment, I broke into sobs, the release of emotions too powerful to contain.

He held me tightly, his hands gently stroking my back. "Shh, it's okay, Angel," he whispered soothingly. "I've got you. I'm here."

He kissed my face with so much love and passion, his lips tender and comforting against my skin. “Did I hurt you, love?” he asked, his voice filled with concern.

“No, never,” I replied, my voice soft but steady. “You could never hurt me, Simon.”

He sighed in relief, his arms tightening around me as he held me close. “I love you so much, Angel. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

I buried my face in his neck, inhaling his scent, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against my cheek. “I love you too, Simon. More than anything.”

We stayed like that for a while, wrapped in each other’s arms, letting the afterglow of our passion and the deep connection between us soothe and comfort. The outside world faded away, leaving only the two of us, bound together by a love that felt eternal.

I clung to him, my sobs gradually subsiding as I found solace in his embrace. The room was quiet now, the echoes of our lovemaking fading into a serene stillness.

[paikothecateater]

Iceland being the most polite and nice of the group is something I love exploring because god damn if my favourite thing isn’t Iceland befriending the underdogs of the world

I mean, just look at him and Romano.

Iceland is super polite and well-mannered in general. It's hard to dislike him because Iceland is just such a pleasant, kind person. Norway really did a great job raising this kid. Iceland is so elegant and galante for a teenager. He's also super well adjusted (those who can't, teach. eh, Norway?)

Yeah, sometimes he can be an edgy teen, but Iceland is actually such a likable kid. He's also very relatable and humble.

Humble is a nice way of putting it, self-loathing is more like it. Regardless, it makes people like him a lot. Part of it is that he's incredibly guilt-trippable and physically can't put himself first.

Especially nations like Prussia, Romano and America.

Prussia has a massive ego, and he genuinely believes he is the coolest person to ever walk the earth. He likes talking about himself most, but who'd bother listening to him and his exaggerated stories? Iceland, who 1) would never interrupt someone older than him. 2) learned that faking interest is better than dealing with Prussia's disappointment if he finds out he actually doesn't care and 3) is willing to spare about 4-5 business days of his life to make Prussia happy. In return, Prussia gives Iceland actually helpful advice and helps him with literally anything he needs.

Romano's reason for liking Iceland is very different. He relates to Iceland a lot. Also, Iceland gives off sad hamster vibes. You know the one. Romano also struggles with feeling inferior, but he doesn't really experience that around Iceland (or most children) also, let's be real, these two probably bond over judging people. Romano will defend Iceland to the ends of the earth.

America is a whole different case. Iceland definitely liked him a lot more as a naive kid who bought into the whole hero thing. Iceland now finds America incredibly childish and demanding. He even told Finland to ignore America if his expectations became too hard to fulfil. It's because he knows first hand how difficult it is to deal with America. He's a lovely person and everything, but he's just... So much. Iceland would really benefit from practicing what he preaches because every time America wants to hang out with him, Iceland physically can't say no. He just sits there listening to him rambling. America does not care about social cues. Especially Iceland's social cues. This kid is on his twenty fifth 'damn... That's crazy' and America is not getting the hint. Still, Iceland won't interrupt because Norway just HAD to raise him to be polite.

There are a ton of other people that like Iceland.

Iceland is pretty damn neutral when it comes to a lot of things. In the sense that he doesn't have a ton of biases. A bitchass is a bitchass no matter what nation they are.

People like him for that.

There are other people who like Iceland. Germany thinks he's polite and hardworking. Sure, he causes chaos during world meetings, but that's because he's a kid. Kids get bored. They don't wanna listen to lectures. Iceland is actually really helpful otherwise. If Germany is carrying something, Iceland will almost always bolt to take it.

France finds him very interesting and likes his aesthetic. He thinks it's bold and unique. In reality, Iceland is just weird, but France thinks there's some deeper meaning to his weirdness. Iceland dresses and talks weird, but he's out of touch, so it makes sense.

China is like five seconds away from kidnapping him.

He'd probably get along with Canada. They both have a pretty damn weak presence.

Hungary thinks he's a sweet kid.

Poland loves that he's really nice and everything, but holy shit, he would just love to burn this kid's wardrobe because what is that tragic excuse of an outfit. He also thinks he needs to stop being a pushover.

Belar/us is just chill with him. She doesn't know him enough to dislike him, and he's nice whenever they interact, so she doesn't mind him.

Russia wants to be friends with him as he does with most people. Iceland takes bribes. He doesn't dislike Russia, he just dislikes people in general.

Basically, there are three types of people

1) people who think Iceland is cool

2) people who think Iceland is adorable

3) people who don't like him (England... Literally just him)

[lukazade]

Foreword: it's all just my opinion! Don't freak out! Don't worry! Listen if you want, don't listen if you don't! Discuss if you want, don't if you don't! Awesome! Also man it's wordy I'm sorry!

Ok I know we've talked about zooble trans allegory and yes, agree, however. I think it's also like, something about acceptance and adjustment as a whole concept. A feeling of self actualisation,, or something. I'm gonna talk about masking now!

Some characters have adjusted implicitly to the circus (Ragatha, Jax), some have brute-force adjusted (Kinger, Pomni), and some have adjusted by refitting to their environment as it changes (Zooble, Gangle).

What I mean to say is this hints at their past lives a little more (to me);

Ragatha and Jax

Ragatha and Jax are what I would call perfect maskers. The type who do it so well they fool themselves - the type who have the sort of trauma that just can't be given to an adult. It's entwined into your birthright. Ragatha has always come across as having "eldest daughter syndrome" (if you're not sure what I mean by this, look it up!) and Jax chooses destruction and cruelty in his every play (I know men who do not know how to be Nice to others and can only bully and demean the people they even genuinely like, because of toxic masculinity being ingrained in the very fabric of being A Boy in this world- yadda yadda yawn) (note: this still makes them suck and please don't forgive people who say "this is just how I am" when they hurt you just because of whatever they've been through. You are now going through it for them.) but they don't come across as genuine. Neither of them feel genuine.

Jax wants everyone to enjoy his "banter" and thinks that them reacting is similar to them enjoying. They're partaking, after all. He doesn't like when people aren't playing along with him, but they don't play with him because his playstyle is cruelty. He's compelled to be mean. And he needs you to respond in his language - his language that is obscene and hurtful. And it gets worse as you engage with it, because he's playing with you. And not necessarily to hurt you. Just.. to hurt you. You feel me? It's a game. It's not real. Why would it upset you? Lighten up.

Ragatha wants the same, in a way. She wants to play house (needs to) because eldest daughters can never stop playing house. They've been doing it since the second the younger sibling was born. Perhaps even parented a parent, with no siblings at all to speak of. They start the job so young that they do not live in reality. They're playing house. They're the mother. And Pomni is literally child shaped, so of course she wants to nurture and care for her. And of course she wants to care for everyone, because that's what she knows how to do; she can't accept thanks for it because of course she'll take care of you. She'll take care of everything. It's nothing to be thanked for. And Pomni is her child but also,,, she's not actually. That's not her child or even A child. She'll parent her as a way to show her love, right down to, "she's too busy flirting with gummigoo to be with us, wish someone would flirt with me" (aka: "she doesn't love mommy anymore, she's abandoning mommy and growing up"). We aren't going to travel this path further in this post but if you're a freak who wants to explore it feel free! Heck. Maybe you already have explored it! Life's crazy.

Anyway. They hate each other, (Ragatha and Jax) but they get along because they're both able to, weirdly, find common ground. Ragatha gets to bite at him in an angry housewife way. He gets to bite at her because she bites back. They let off steam by arguing, where he tends to play defence to her offence, when you might assume a nasty rude cruel guy would raise his voice and deny her the right to do so. I won't go further here either because I lack evidence the deeper I go rotating these two in my mind. My evil otp. Sorry Ragatha I think you're a lesbian having weird things with Pom but you're part of my evil otp with nasty Jax because you're parallels of what the world does to its eldest sons and daughters sorreeeeey.

Pomni and Kinger

These two are. They're rotating in my mind. Yeah. Yeah they are, right there. The child he never got to have, the father figure she evidently yearns for.

These two are the type who don't adjust well. They don't mask well. They can't hold it in and lie about things, and when they do they fall apart.

Pomni is in the early stages of a new environment - she can't blend into it all even though she looks the most like a circus act. She tries, but the way it drives her up the wall, the way every good moment is also a moment waiting to strike, she can't. Until the moments she can. When it's quiet, when people are acting normal, when she's alone somewhere and can functionally talk about it. And then she's. Fine. She blends, she matches. She's just in hell, just in the circus. It's okay though.

But there's only so much talking things out can do, especially when you're stuck somewhere that actively traumatises you. Going back to therapy won't stop the bad things from happening, and so she'll loop again and again until... well, who knows! I hope we find out!

Kinger my beloved that killed his wife (?) either beforehand (while alive) OR believes so because he watched her abstract in front of him, and confused it with killing her. Who knows. His real life and his life in the circus are one and the same, he can't pick them apart. Because he never did adjust. It all slams into him every time, he needs that quiet, dark, emotional place that Pomni is still reaching for. But he has accepted that he doesn't fit and can't reach. He's literally a piece from a set. A set with no other pieces. Nobody else is from a set; Pomni maybe counts as part of a Circus Objects set. But she is in a circus. She might be able to adjust with time; Kinger does not fit. Cannot adjust. An outsider who (if we're to believe that was his life, in the haunted house ep) was paranoid and lived away from society (with the one matching set piece that he got to have, his queen). And in killing her, lost his ability to be in a set. To have kids. Uh. Pawns if you will. He has no place, and though he cannot truly adjust, though he remembers himself fairly easily in private (something the best maskers don't necessarily get to have; whew boy let me tell you sometimes the mask feels more real than the skin!!), he has accepted it. He has adjusted. Episode 3 there's so much more in you that I'm not seeing.. there's more I should be able to see.. idk what though. But he knew it was his own life. 100%. Also I believe in ep 4 gummigoo remembered his past life as an NPC v.1 idk where else to say that tho. I'm putting it here I believe.

And now we nearly reach the end! Are you still with me folks? And do you like my informal writing style? Thanks! University hated it! I'm shocked that I have a degree!

Zooble and Gangle

These two literally in canon adapt and change themselves to fit in. They're not perfect maskers, but they're also not the type who can't mask. The perfect maskers need their situation to gradually change, the ones who can't mask need things not to change. But change is in the nature of these two. Adapting is what they do. Gangle literally changes her mask right in front of others (think.. code-switching? I guess!) Zooble offers her a mask she thinks might help. Changes up her limb pieces. They are adaptable. But they diverge.

Zooble steps out of anything she doesn't want to do, anything she can't handle, but this is because she is constantly trying to find the right "body parts." She is so interested in the introspective, in the self, that the affectation of the outside just slides right off her. Jax wishes! She is able to ignore everything because the most important thing to her is her sense of self. Never mind how it fits in with others. Her apathy is only for things that cannot help her - she holds empathy and gentleness deep within herself, and gives it to those who care or relate to her struggle. She isn't close to the Perfect Maskers because they fundamentally cannot understand her (Ragatha wants to just go with it and let each adventure play out and end. Over and over. Something to do. // Zooble doesn't want to be distracted from the self actualisation of finding her "correct" body parts. Adventure outside is nothing for her (literally episode 4 couldn't touch her lmao she just did her job good for her)).

And Gangle. Oh sweet Gangle. Ever the bottom of the dog pile, ever the hurt and wounded one, needs to be loved, wants to be loved, but can't ask. So instead she matches her mask to what the people need (or to a tantrum that perhaps This Time someone will care about, maybe, please). Gangle gets to be in charge in ep 4 and immediately becomes Boss From Hell. This is a person who wants to have attention paid to her, but also who feels undeserving or too unimportant. So when given control, of course she doesn't know how to do it in a way that works. It just isn't in her wheelhouse! And whew, everyone has caused heaps of trouble during the circus, but the one time she causes chaos, she blames herself and settles away outside of the group. But she is trying to pursue a sense of self by trying different masks, trying different ways to fit in. She can mask, and will mask, but her sense of self claws out. Her emotional, sensitive self. Tears of a crybaby are easy to write off. Contentment/happiness are even easier to write off. But uncomfortable emotions beg to be seen and heard. Manic mask(?) was extreme in a way that is uncomfortable for the others, and for herself, as it caused a weird little freaky outburst (like anger, jealousy, etc - they result in choice words and actions fairly often). I said good for her even while I was scared of her ngl good for her for real. She can mask fine, she just doesn't truly want to. She does, to make things work. But it's clear from the beginning that masking is just a gimmick to play along and feel part of something, it's clear she's just aching to feel something real and honest. And, just as Ragatha/Jax and Zooble can't get along, Gangle also can't get along with them; she isn't good at playing house. They both aren't into playing house, they want to express something real, either through correct body parts, or through hobbies (like art).

These groups fundamentally form and overlap where they intersect. There are dynamics that are clear, and dynamics that are untapped. Those who can play house, those who won't play house, and those who don't even know what street the dang house is on.

In conclusion

Shit I'm bad at conclusions..

TL;DR

That sounds less daunting. The characters all represent something to me that I think is cool :) and also may not matter at all in the grander scheme! I am always trying to think of the "what do they want" concept when they interact with adventures/caine/each other. Jax is the most interesting to me because he's the best masker on the team. "But he's just like that" you cry. No~ there's something that does that, even if it's nothing you notice. Breathing in tobacco smoke can still give you lung diseases - even if you didn't smoke! Kinger is my fav though uwu I'm an Ice King enthusiast ofc I'm gonna pick up another traumatised and confused old man he's in my basket rn as we speak.

Anyway hope you enjoyed my writing style, this is just how I like to talk. And I felt it was on theme with the vibes of the show hahahaha hope you had fun - also it's 1am, forgive me if I went off topic like 60 times 🥰 I swear I had something to say!