#with their family. and there Isnt a big empty space where another person could go

[chickenscribbles]

Everything functions perfectly fine without you.

[curious-menace]

Rogues bedroom headcanons

yea so i spent all day tidying my pit of a bedroom ( and it still isnt that tidy tbh) so it made me wonder what kind of rooms the rogues have. how would they decorate? big bed or little bed? pillow fort or utilitarian space? i think scarecrow would like my halloween themed room but all the plushies are definitely more harley lol.

Had images but Tumblr ate them. Please use your imagination

Penguin

For the most part penguin sleeps in his office. He normally just sleeps on the couch with the ac turned way up. its easier for him since he’s always working. hes got some decor on the walls like trophies, stuffed animals etc. When he lived at Cobblepot manor his room was pretty extravagant. his parents gave him whatever he wanted to keep him out of their hair . As an adult his room at home is no less luxurious. there are paintings and statues he also has a  four poster king sized bed, but its rarely slept in. Penguins room is cold, not just in temperature. there are little to no personal items. no photos of his family, no childhood toys, no books or ornaments. Its a beautiful room but it feels more like a hotel than somewhere someone might actually live. Nicely decorated but lacking a personal touch.

Twoface

I mentioned in another post that his bed is one of the only areas of his life that doesn't get the clean side / dirty side treatment. harvey and twoface are in agreement that they need somewhere decent to sleep. they still like to have the room half and half so they have their bed in the corner so it doesnt cross the halfway line. everything on the side of the room with the bed is white or gold , neat and tidy .He doesn't go for all the clutter the others have, even on the messy side. none of it is personal except for a few things hidden in the nightstand like his da badge, a few spare coins and a picture of Gilda. he usually has a double or queen sized bed, but its not for sharing. he just likes to spread out.

Poison ivy

i canon ivy as not needing sleep, so she doesnt usually faff about with bedrooms. if she must have one its small, filled with plants and a single bed or comfy sofa so that there's more room for plants. She has a few personal items, maybe some photos or her PHD framed on the wall. its also nicely decorated with rugs, seats and cusions that shes made or bought from small artists and business owners. most of the space, ceiling included is taken up by plants mind you. I cannot emphasize how many plants this woman has in her room.

Riddler

riddler has so much stuff in his room its hard to know where to put it all. he’s got ornaments, books, nicknacks and memorabilia and even some stuff from his various heists over the years ( nothing too incriminating mind you) his walls are covered in art and newspaper clippings and posters with barely an inch uncovered. He spent most of his life renting one of gotham's many sparsely decorated apartments and swore that when he could afford a place of his own, he’d never have bare walls again. He’d probably have a king sized bed but like harvey, its not for sharing. he just wants to treat himself to the things that he was deprived of as a child, spread out as far as he can ( despite the fact he usually sleeps curled up on his side in one corner). i also imagine his room wont be huge. just enough for his stuff, somewhere nice to sit and look out over the city and a big cozy bed. he definitely has one of those fake fireplaces too.

Scarecrow

Scarecrow has all of his bedrooms torn down to bare wall and built up again to look like a log cabin. He just wants seclusion, he wants peace and quiet. even in the middle of a city, he can retreat to his “cabin” for a sanity check. the walls have a few things on them but mostly its sound absorbing foam made to look like wooden walls. Hes got a couple of family heirlooms like fancy lamps and a few hand stitched quilts but its mostly empty space, why cover the beautiful wood work?. of course the majority of the room is taken up by books but generally only his favorites are next to his bed. as much as he wants to read all night he needs to sleep at some point and having too many in arms reach is too big a temptation . he’s pretty tall but sleeping in a double bed feels weird to him so its usually a single with extra pillows and quilts for back and leg support.

Harley quinn

harleys room has too much going on. its not conducive to a good nights sleep. her hideouts have the regular red and black theme, silk sheets and pictures of the joker everywhere but when she had a home it was more quirky with eclectic stuff she found at garage and going out of business sales . looking at her room for too long will give you a headache, its so loud. and not just with all the beaded curtains and the cuckoo alarm clock. she has a queen sized bed that she sleeps in the middle of with bud and lou either side of her. if they aren't with her shes one of those people who is pushed to the edge of her bed by her many many plushies

[jising-jisang-jisung]

Sugar Lips | Huang Renjun

Genre: floof

Word count: 1.7k

A/n: this is one of the longest fics I've ever written and not at all based off of a boy from my school whom I dislike sorry about the rushed ending I didnt know where I was going with that :/

~~~~~

You and Renjun had never gotten along. He sat behind you in math and was constantly picking on you. Yeah, you could have destroyed him with some sick burns, but you held your tongue out of consideration for his gigantic ego. Half the school thought you two liked each other and the other knew that yall were mortal enemies. The thought of you liking Renjun made you want to stab your eyes out with sporks. However, you couldnt deny that Renjun was hot. Like, this boi had been hand sculpted by God himself. Seriously damn. You had to give credit where credit is due. But, as I said, you do NOT like Renjun.

After the rumors started that you and Renjun like each other, you tried to react less to him. You no longer argued and paid little attention to him. Much to your dismay, your teachers seemed to find your ability to ignore Renjun as a good quality that most of the others students lacked. This resulted in you sitting by him in most of your classes. But obviously you didnt let this affect you. You just had to sit there and pay him no attention. Easier said than done. You were always trying to not notice him, despite always looking at him because hes hot.

One night your friend, let's call her Ryn for fun, forced you out to a party and then ditched you. Skew you, Ryn! You weren't the biggest fan of parties so you sat on one of the counters in the kitchen, by yourself, patiently waiting for Ryn to be ready to leave. That's when something caught your eye. Renjun was also alone in the kitchen and he was looking right at you. Or at least, you thought he was, but he could easily be looking at something else. Why would he be looking at you anyways? You looked back down at your drink, avoiding any eye contact with the boy you have to ignore.

By this point in the year, you had gotten very good at ignoring him. You didnt even notice when he started walking towards you. And you didnt even react when he grabbed your hand. You paid him no attention as he led you into an empty room. All you had to do was not pay attention to Renjun. That's seriously all you had to do. So you didnt pay attention to him as he leaned towards you. But he grabbed your chin, causing you to look him in the eye. Shoot. Just dont react, you thought to yourself. You tried not reacting as he leaned closer and closer. Until..

He stopped? "Do you want me to stop" he asks innocently, a blush leaking onto his cheeks. Okay stay calm, just dont do anything rash- You tried to tell yourself but instead you grabbed his shirt in a fist and pulled him until the little space between you was now nonexistent. His lips were sweet, like sugar. They were as forbidden as they were sweet. And you were completely aware that you should not be doing what you were doing. Yet, you did not pull away. Thankfully, neither did Renjun. He just wrapped his arms around your waist and held you as close as he physically could.

The next thing you knew, your phone was going off. The musical tone signaling a call from Ryn who, to your dismay, was ready to leave and looking for you. Renjun took a small step back, wiped his mouth, and walked out of the room you to had shared. He didnt even say anything. Confused, you left as well, in search of Ryn. You found her by the door and explained everything that happened on your way home. Leaving out no details, it was a bit hard to believe considering Renjun was known to be you mortal enemy. What will happen when you sit by him in class tomorrow? Will he say something about it to embarrass you? Or will he stay quiet and pretend it never happened? Oh gosh, what if he says it was only because he was drunk? Thinking back to your memory, his mouth didnt taste like alcohol at all, so even if he tried to blame it on drinking, it wasnt feasible. But now you were thinking about kissing him,,, and that thought didnt go away easily.

~

You walk into your first class to see him already there surrounded by the other boys. You had planned to avoid eye contact and avoid him in general because you were worried about what he would do. But you locked eyes and to your dismay, he just smirked. Dare you say, is was a really handsome smirk too. Luckily nobody was paying attention so this interaction went unnoticed as you sat at your seat beside him.

Half the class went by without mishap and you hoped you would never have to deal with Renjun again. However, you are not that fortunate. He slid you a note discreetly.

Y/N, for acting like you have a pole stuck up your ass 80% of the time, you're a surprisingly good kisser ;)

You tried so hard to hold yourself back. To not react. To go back to how things were with Renjun as your enemy of mutual disgust. But you could help but write back.

Only 80% of the time?

You busy later?

I am completely free tonight

Good, my family is out for the night

And then the bell rang and you were off to your next class which you didnt have with Renjun. Before you knew it the school day had ended and you were rushing to leave. Maybe you were going too fast because you didnt see the person in front of you until after you ran right into them.

"Y/N! Can you fucking watch where you're going?!" Renjun said. You were taken aback by his antics because he was acting so weird in your classes today. I guess this makes it seem like nothing has changed between you two to the rest of the school.

"Watch where you're going, Renjun, you stepped out right in front of me." You spit back before you walked away without another word.

~

You arrived at Renjuns house around 5. When he opened the door, you could tell he was nervous but tried to play it off. You wanted to kiss him again, but he hadnt made another move. Yolo! You grabbed his shirt in a fist and aggressively pulled him towards you. His eyes were big, surprised by your actions. He kissed you back more delicately than before. It was as if he was no longer fueled by the lust he had at the party.

Renjun was the first to pull away. His face was bright red as he invited you further into his home. "Are you hungry?" He asked. "Yeah, maybe a little" He then went to his kitchen and got some snacks. "Listen, Y/N" his voice was shakey, "I know that we made out at that party and we havent really gotten along before but what I'm trying to say is" his eyes fell to the snacks in his hands, "I actually like you." Your jaw actually hit the floor when he admitted this. Obviously your reaction didnt do much help for Renjuns nerves. He scratched the back of his head when you didnt respond and spoke again, " I know I act like I hate you and that's because you hate me, dont you? So I'm not expecting you to like me, but I just thought I'd let you know the truth."

You couldnt believe what the boy was saying. Right now he looked so shy and small compared to his usual cocky, confident self. "I dont hate you, Renjun." You tried to say but it only came out in a whisper. His face lit up. "You dont, well then I have a slight chance- shit I meant to say that in my head" Yeah, this boy is supposed to be your enemy, but you have always found him attractive. You spent years pretending to hate each other because you both thought that the other did. Maybe Renjun isnt as bad as you thought. You decided to see where this would take you. "Do you wanna watch a movie?"

Again, his face lit up as he smiled at you handing you a bag of gummy worms, "Thatd be great."

You two wound up picking out a movie that you barely remember because you're sitting very close to Renjun. You cant help but stare, and your heart flutters a little. He turns to look at you, catching you off guard, meeting eyes. This time he took the initiative and grabbed either side of your face and kissed you softly. You wrapped your arms around his neck with your hands playing with his hair. Before you knew it the movie had ended and the credits were playing. You pulled away from Renjun a little dizzy from the lack of oxygen while you had been kissing. You didnt want to leave but it was a school night and you had to get home. You smiled shyly as you stood from his couch. "I'll see you tomorrow." Renjun nodded and followed you out, watching as you drove away.

~

The next day when you entered your class, Renjun was already there, again. But this time he got up from the group of boys and came over to you. He smirked before grabbing your hand and kissing your cheek. Queue everyone's reactions ( .O.) You knew he was just playing it cool but you were still blushing like you have too much blood in your body and it happens to all be in your face. Some people claimed they called it or knew or whatever. None of that was important to you two.

Yall would go on cute dates pretty much anywhere. The park, a picnic, the arcade, literally anywhere was fun with Renjun. Sometimes you'll even go to his house just to nap and cling onto him. Due to this, Renjun bought you a big plushie to hug for whenever he cant be there for you. What I'm trying to say here is that you two are goals and cute af and so on.

[mieczyhale]

throwing together some of my recent/ish hc posts/tags for @hellomyguru bc its a thing, babey (i have no idea what you’ve seen and what you havent bc tumblr really just suck like that so lmao)

my tags on this post::  #HELL YEAH HELL YEAH #more pride hcs!!! noice!!#i love these sfm#like klaus always taking part no matter how bad shit is bc HIS PEOPLE!!! and ben trying to punch picketers and homophobes is fucking adorbs#and i would kill (whoop) for the day klaus makes ben corporeal during pride and ben can punch all the people and then disappear#vanya’s is cute. come to the light darling!!#and diego fksgjf okay listen whether one hcs him as bi or not this is 1000% something he’d do either way#he’s supportive!!! and he has lgbtqa+ family!!! and nobody gets to be mean to his family but him!!#see also:: the first year after the apocalypse is avoided five decides to tag along when klaus saying he’s taking dave to#his very first pride. he not only enjoys himself but he learns a lot and either then or over the course of the following weeks figures his#own labels out - bc i hc five as asexual and i just have a thing for klaus being the all knowledgeable one about something for once#and his siblings learning about gender and sexuality from him and maybe discovering something new about themselves along the way!#except luther. he’s a cis hetero and we all know it#but maybe he learns to be a good ally. maybe#i mean probably not but whatever#allison is the only other person in the family who i’d even consider calling straight#bc there’s nothing wrong with being straight and i just.. dont have another label that i think fits her really well#so yeah ive got gender and sexuality hcs for them all flgkscndn happy pride month bitches

my tags on this post:: #’you’re telling me this happens every year?? for a whole month??!’ #actually i need every possible concept of dave experiencing pride month and seeing how far things have come for gays#like rainbow shit everywhere#and of course the legalization of gay marriage#out and proud gay politicians and gay people in positions of power#the amount of support that comes when homophobic shit happens now#homophobia isnt the accepted norm anymore#another thing i like is the concept of - either during pride or just in general - dave being excited to learn about the community as a whole#his boyfriend is a nonbinary pansexual and klaus has explained before what those words mean but dave wants to really understand#we stan a supportive and loving couple#dave has a lot to learn in 2019 but i think this stuff would be the most important and have the most effect on him yknow??#shit isnt perfect but its better and now he can work on getting passed the environment he was raised in#so he can hold klaus’s hand in public and kiss him around other people without panicking and eventually he proposes because HE FUCKING CAN#HE CAN DO THAT. HE CAN JUST.. ASK HIS BOYFRIEND TO MARRY HIM. LEGALLY.#good fucking shit

my tags on this post:: #did you see the state of the sky in the apocalypse?? there’s a chance he really wouldnt have noticed#i mean like yeah it could be a funny plothole#but there could also be reasons for why thats not something he noticed#or idfk man timeline shit#maybe the moon didnt explode the first time around#maybe it did and there’s just another moon somehow some way#maybe he didnt notice bc he was first too scared and then too frenzied and angry probably and then he had shit to focus on and math to do#and then dolores wanted to go on dates to the local wine cellars and flat empty areas that used to be parks and then there was spending days#in the library together like having a girlfriend is a lot of work okay#maybe five just didnt have the time to slowdown and consider things like space#maybe his headspace was too fucked#sometimes you just forget about the moon - i know i do!#so sfgksncjf okay y e ah

my tags on this post:: #YES!!! #yes yes yes #okay #so#everytime someone mentions or even hints at dave having anger issues i wanna fucking cheer bc thats one of my biggest hcs for him#like yeah he’s sweet and gentle and respectful and all that - genuinely a good man - our lil jewish gay#BUT#he did grow up in the 50s and 60s which as op said would have surrounded him with a lot of toxic masculinity. now i dont think he would be#a toxic kind of masculine AT ALL but it definitely would have forced him to hide his emotions and feelings and idk hobbies and of course his#sexuality. and i say hobbies bc there isnt a canon answer for it i dont think but i personally hc dave as being someone who loves art#specifically: drawing. dave keeping a lil sketchbook and some pencils under the pillow on his cot in vietnam?? yes please#so anyway yeah - he wouldnt have really had any good examples of how to properly take care of your anger - although he has enough#heart and common sense to know its really fucking wrong to take it out on women and children and people one is dating WHICH - another hc i#have that ties into this is that somehow his dad found out that he’s gay and beat the crap out of him over it. because unfortunately thats a#thing that happens. so his main male example was an abusive pos. and then he goes to vietnam which is fine because its not like he has#anyone stateside that will miss him - that will talk to him anymore - and its a warzone so there are a lot of ways to work out your anger#and yeah that of course includes bar fights. and he does - usually - try and keep a hold on his anger until he’s away from anyone who might#feel threatened - and he doesnt wanna end up taking out an innocent on accident - but he’s not actually perfect and so sometimes he fails#and it happens around klaus one time and seeing his love’s reaction - the making himself smaller - trying to hide - going quiet and so#clearly afraid - and not just afraid but afraid OF HIM - freezes him to the core where he stands because nobody has ever reacted like that#before. or if they have he never noticed or cared because they didnt matter. but this is klaus. his klaus. who he loves and would never do#anything to hurt him. his klaus who he protects and defends and knows he wants to spend his life with - no matter how impossible it is#he wants to go to klaus and apologize - try to undo the damage done simply by him raising his voice and lashing out - but he doesnt know#what to say or how to say it - he doesnt know what to do with the situation honestly. so he leaves the tent and goes to take his renewed#anger and frustration out on whatever he can find so he can calm down and hopefully get into the right headspace to have whats#no doubt going to be a really hard conversation with his boyfriend. because where do you even start??#but of course they talk it out and dave promises to work on his anger and on how he lets it out and yknow.. its dave so klaus trusts him and#it takes some time - there are some incidents - but dave works hard and learns a lot from klaus - including how to unlearn a lot of shit he#grew up with - and its rough but having a partner from the future who breaks all kinds of barriers definitely helps#so y eah. those are my brief feelings on it and i wanna marry op 

my tags on this post::   #!!!!!!!!!!!! #YES #i adore this post#i could never pinpoint why the introduction on the bus made me feel like That but this is it!!#its just so sweet and innocent - even surrounded by other soldiers in the middle of a warring country#the innocence and unbearable fucking adorableness of their first convo on that bus just… its so bright and lovely it makes everything else disappear#the only thing that matters is the two guys getting to experience that ‘o h’ moment for the first time in their lives bc their childhoods#never let them have that #i assume#bc like op said klaus didnt go to a regular school and he wasnt p much stuck in that house and then he was on the streets so#and for dave like.. i guess he could’ve had that moment in school? but it would’ve been one-sided and he never would have#told anyone. 1960s. gay jewish man. yeah.#they’re each others first (and only) loves and i just really fucking adore that and live off of posts about them 

my tags on this post:: #what if he wasnt dead-dead though???#bc like… the day five found them all dead was apparently the day the apocalypse happened right? so its not like they’d been dead for days#weeks or w.e yknow??#and the time between klaus dying and coming back is varying and undetermined - there’s no canon timing for the length of his deaths#so what if he came back to life??#like okay i know its not really possible in canon bc five buried them i think?? or is that a fanon thing??#i cant remembering #anyway#but still - in general klaus not being permanently dead in the apocalypse is another possibility#and five didnt know about it bc after finding them all he began his 45 year journey#and klaus wakes up alone and essentially has to learn to survive and he doesnt know five was ever there bc..well.. yeah#five is long gone#maybe klaus lives out his days in that wasteland#and he doesnt remember it where five does bc five time traveled back and klaus didnt. the klaus that got stuck in the#apocalypse is a different klaus - like a different timeline. the klaus from ep1 never got stuck in the destroyed future so#he’d have no knowledge or memories of it or anything#or - second thought - he kills himself at some point after waking up and either begs god to let him stay dead or he strikes some kind of#deal with her so he doesnt have to return to whats left of earth#oooo or something happened that put a lock on his powers?? like yknow those cuffs and devices and stuff in stuff in fantasy that freeze the#users abilities?? that’d be an interesting plotpoint bc then like who did it and why and what was the last day really like? yknow#vanya’s meds but More is the idea #just a thought#but anyway idk im just a big fan of klaus with the inability to die and all the possibilities that brings 

my tags on this post::   #i’ve actually never stopped to consider why he didnt notice them except for my v first tua watch-thru#which is odd bc like that seems like a thing one should notice after a few watches??#but w.e #anyway#my only other hc for that part of the episode isnt that klaus didnt notice them bc he’s used to guns#it’s that he didn’t hear them#or that they weren’t loud enough -to him- to register as gunfire initially#bc like one of my close hcs is that he has bad hearing. growing up with people screaming in your ears 24-7 365 can’t exactly be good for#his ears now can it? and with how loud some of them are and how close they can get to him - without touching him - that’s just.. a lot of#fucking volume okay#now add in the academy’s mission alert siren#how loud he listens to his music with headphones on when he’s trying to drown out some REALLY LOUD SCREAMING#and then being near gunfire growing up. those bank robbers had guns and weren’t exactly a big distance away#all the raves and clubs and parties he goes to?? places where music is played so loud the room shakes and you cant hear anything else and#the music itself can be heard from blocks away?? that’s an indeterminable amount of intense noise#and then of course the gunfire of vietnam#so like�� boys ears have SUFFERED. whether they wanna acknowledge that in canon or not#so the shooting at the theater - the shooting thats IN the theater - which is large and meant to house sound#thats happening across a big city street from where they’re standing and they’re behind the food truck and if klaus was ordering when it all#started that was just another level of sound and he’s not exactly focused bc everything is awful yknow?? so either it takes him a second to#notice or register it on his own or maybe he doesnt and ben says something?? idk but that’s kinda the field i’ve landed on for that scene#not that im not here for op’s hc!!! bc it really is a good one and it makes sense. im just rambling my own theory here bc i like considering#the Ways for Things sometimes. esp with klaus involved. this does make me wonder tho… if his hearing somehow is -fine- in canon…. h o w?#bc like bitch who tf can take all that and have perfect hearing?? thats gotta be impossible. if they are fine is it related to his powers#somehow?? like.. does his casual passing between life and death all the time mean he doesnt have mortal ear weaknesses? its weird but im..#i’ve got theories. 

my tags on this post:: #probably in the massive fucking pockets of his fluffy coat#see also:: a dealer’s place #a boyfriend’s place#an ex-boyfriend who is also a dealer’s place#a girlfriend’s place #a partner’s place#all ex’s of course bc dave is the only valid romantic relationship#he made friends with the person who owns a nearby thrift store and they help him out#he has a locker at a public place like the ymca#he only has one outfit before returning to the mansion so he has nothing to carry - ever on the move#he thiefs off of people in rehab and crackhouses he stayed in that are dumb enough to leave their shit unattended#when he sees something he likes or he feels its time for an outfit change#he mostly sticks with his lace up pants as far as bottom pieces go bc its much harder to sneak away with skirts#and the kind of crazy pants he likes. there’s only room for one pair of pants for this pan disaster#after returning to the mansion he has access to the funky gay clothes he had managed to aquire before leaving all those years ago#bc like… i kinda hc that he got out of there fast and probably higher than fuck and had nothing packed#have you ever tried to pack while high?? it’s harder than it has any right to be#crack theory:: he had a bag - we just never saw it bc in the beginning he wore it under his floofy coat bc safety and he didnt need it the#rest of the time.#i have a lot of thoughts and headcanony opinions about klaus’s time on the streets so thank u#for giving me a place to dump some of them   

[the-empress-of-nothing]

The full story

(Heya all! This is litteraly the full story of Maeddrona up till the point im rping her, I just kinda took this moment to word vomit everything I made for this character, she’s been developing in my mind for about six months, So, yeah. OOC super Long post under the break!)

Maeddrona is a literal incarnation of the void, previously I mentioned it being old, but the void is old and a God actually looked around as the universe got more and more busy and full- It just kinda.. stopped. Once humans became a thing it looked at mortal life and envied humans for achieving so much with so little time, it looked at the smaller picture of happiness humans could carve for themselves amidst a bloody history. So it just kinda, gave up it’s greater power and sentience, it’s essence possessing humans every once in a while.

These humans would usually barely live passed the age of 15, their lives being ended by some odd coincidence one way or another. It seemed as if dark reality had no place for hope and optimism. There was one that lived to be older, in about the 2nd Millennium *cough*  but she was murdered but someone very close to her.

Now, Maeddrona was growing up on her planet of Fortuna a little bit before Emps has started his rise on Terra. She reaches about age 35 and is the first Void-Born to awaken to her powers.

The entire planet is wiped clean of animal life and the planet itself is shrouded in an odd bubble-ish thing of space so warped you can look at it and see the stars behind you. This is only an illusion, and a result of the explosive amount of power awakening her, but she is left alone on this planet and with the isolation of the Age of Strife, no-one’s gonna show up. (if someone did show up, it would look almost like a black hole might be there, and they’d turn right the fuck around, because whatever that is, we’re not fucking with it)

So Maeddrona, now awakened to her void powers, realizes she... can make things happen by thinking about them on the Planet. Nothing big or overly huge- but time seems to have stood still since she gained her powers, but if she focuses on a plant growing and producing fruit, that’s what that one plant will do until she stops thinking about it. So she can at least survive- just, things are... wrong here. She also begins to have dreams, memories of each past life. Not movie-style, i mean boring, day by day, feels like real time dreams until she wakes up. It it does feel like she is this person, not like she’s watching from outside. She doesn't quite understand what these dreams mean. but she begins to write them all down in a journal.

Though, with Maeddrona being void, have discovering she can utilize a pocket dimension of just empty space, and that putting anything besides herself in there will slowly desolve it. A being with power like this and also who just caused an entire planets worth of population to die would be very interesting to atleast one God i can think of...

So Tzeentch enters her head, uninvited, occasionally, and tries to find out what the fresh funky fuck is happening in THIS corner of the galaxy! Maeddrona is convinced she’s going crazy and the eldritched fuck is all for it. Eventually Maeddrona says something like “prove to me you’re a god of knowledge and not my mind going mad, give me the knowledge I need to escape this fucking planet.” So she stands there, waiting for her mind to suddenly ascend with understanding and learning.

Then a book drops to the ground next to her.

Then another.

Then it starts RAINING BOOKS and she just runs to hide in a building, Fully believing a god was in her head now.

So, now, she starts reading and begins making a ship. It takes her the better part of  50 years (when she awoke to the void her body stopped aging, but more as a “she is nothing, neither alive nor dead” kinda thing) with non-stop work and learning and failures and dedication to get SOMETHING functional. (Thankfully she has an entire worlds worth of resources all to herself) Then she starts fucking with how to FTL travel- because she doesn't have a warp drive. She couldn’t actually make one- so she fucks around with the void, and finds she can travel trough the void while going through the warp as a bit of a substitute. (Its similar to how the Tau FTL travel) So she ends up getting to another planet! But she enters in so close to the planet that she kinda crashes. not far from her crash she finds a few dying people- she (correctly) assumes this might be her fault and tries to fix it, attempting to do something with her powers to save them. She saved one. She makes the first Void-Touched. The void changes her hair, and it tells her a name that she likes far better than her own, and is so grateful to Maeddrona that she wants to follow her when she leaves. Maeddrona isnt alone anymore

(at this point I should mention I take a lot of things from Warframe- specifically names, weapons, frames and abilities. I just love it so much!! but that’s all I really take.)

So for the next long while Maeddrona flies about space, making another deal with Tzeentch to get dreams from people dying that are compatible with the void (she doesn’t question how he knows who is and who isnt, he’s a God *shrugs*) and gets about 30 people in her little family. Occasionally they run back to her Fortuna because it’s their planet now and no-one else knows its there. (Yes, i have all of these as OCs, i know all their plots and stories;;;;)

Then one dream leads her to Terra, where a small boy is dying. Foolishly, she goes. She has much better control over her powers now, masking the ship with the same warped gravity look to try and mask their presence as they go to the biggest hornet nest in the galaxy.

And she is not surprised when the warmongering ruler of the planet does interrupt her in the middle of saving a child. He questions her, and she answers honestly. But her soul just feels... wrong. off. like it’s not there, but obviously something is!

She smiles, and offers her greetings. She does not prostrate herself before him, does not whisper rumors and legends and feats of his beings.

She smiles and patiently waits for him to respond. through their conversations an interest grows. Both are old souls and both hold immeasurable power.

And both consider themselves human.

When she says she is void, he asks if she is Chaos, ready to destroy her if needed. She gags. As by now she knows the intentions of the voice in her head, He and the 3 others have stolen a few of her Void-touched. “I am no God.” would come her reply, Honest.

He would then decide, though not entirely honest, she is no threat, And that these powers she speaks of are interesting, He asks if she would mind being studied,

of course she says yes

the fool she is

Eventually a relationship does form, and while their views are fairly different on many topics (read: most if not all) they balance each other out when they are willing to listen to one another, as both are incredibly hard headed and stubborn. He lets her in on the Primarch project, wanting her insight on raising children as she has been motherly to most if not all her Void-touched.

And he even offers they should make a child from her genetics, to raise along with the Primarchs. She will be human- or Void-born as Maeddrona would call her. But she loves the idea.

Then, tensions rise a bit. the primarchs are still being developed, but Emps wishes to increase the reach of his Imperium a bit as well. there is a system he wishes to acquire- and Maeddrona offers her and her children to do so instead, they can get there faster and her children are very effective with their abilities and such. But he refuses.

This is not the first time this has happened, she thinks he is afraid of the Void, afraid that it is too similar to chaos to be fully trusted on battle. And then, Tzeentch speaks to her once more, agreeing with her, She’s right! Of course she’s right! She should just get there first and do it before he arrives anyway. Show him he’s wrong, give him undeniable proof.

So she does. And... the conversation she has with the Emperor is less than pleasant, It is long distance, but he has been aware of Tzeentch talking to her for some time, he was growing worried that she wouldn’t shoo him away and would sometimes humor his asinine conversations. But now

Now she’s starting to listen to Tzeentch.

He tells her they will have a talk when he arrives, and plans to give an ultimatum as she is so close to falling and she doesn’t even know it. While waiting for Emps to arrive Maeddrona makes a discovery that she is pregnant, this being incredibly exciting news as she believed the void made her infertile.

When Emps finally arrives and she is sent for, and he feels something is wrong. When he sees the presence of two souls, though masked and hard to make out from the void, his mind is not on pregnancy, it is on her fall. He assumes she has allowed Tzeentch to at least semi-possess her and makes a decision, he grimly faces her smiling self and names her an enemy of the Imperium.

At first she is stunned into immobility- but then he begins approaching her, and she flees. She uses the void to go back to her ship and tells all her family that the Emperor is going to kill all of them- So she uses her power and uses escape pods to put them all in Void-stasis (it’s like a Schrodinger's box really, while it’s closed, whatever’s inside of it does and does not exist at the same time until someone opens it and everything exists again. So, they arent even sleeping, just not existing.) and sends them out, one by one, because she doesn’t understand and thinks he’s here to slaughter them because of the void.

She then send out two pieces of equipment, a head accessory known as the “Halo of the void”, and her giant two handed long sword, the “Blade of void.” She then separates her soul into three pieces among herself and these things, using her emotions  as separation points.  Her confusion and shock go into the Halo, her anger and feelings of betrayal go into her sword, leaving her with her fear. Her incomparable fear. She sends these two pieces out into their own pods

And the Emperor boards her ship. It is quiet, eerie as he walks. It is not a warship. This is their home. This is where they lived, had comforts and hobbies. The walls are lined with pictures and drawings, many areas are made to be comfortable lounging areas, doors are stuck open from the commotion, leading windows into shared rooms of her children.

This was their home. And he must walk through it to get to where Maeddrona is hiding. And when he does she is a mess, curled up on the ground and sobbing uncontrollably. It’s too late for words as she approaches her, but he stops. He cares for her enough to want a near painless death for her- but curled up like this she has made it impossible, so he contemplates how to go about this,

His pause gives her hope, and she uncurls for a moment, bleary eyes looking up at him,

And she says his name. She says his name. She knows his name yes of course she knows his name. Spoken with hushed voice only to him in their moments of privacy and passion.

Now said breathlessly

As his sword is already plunged through her.

As this happens, Limbo, the first Void-touched Maeddrona ever made, enters, trying to save Maeddrona and escape together. And she screams. Rushing to her mother’s side, crying, bawling, and screaming at the Emperor.

He leaves, he does not need to kill her child- then she screams about what Maeddrona was going to tell Him.

About her pregnancy.

And he does stop in his tracks at that, the truth of the second soul’s presence now dawning on him. But he only stops for a moment before continuing back, through the halls of a ruined home, with his mistake and his mistake alone.

He then returns to Terra to find the Primarchs scattered.

And that’s where this story turns, The Emperor basically dies with the Heresy, his soul shattered. Then one small part, one tiny bit, that loved Maeddrona, that never stopped loving Maeddrona, finds her small soul in the warp. As the void is like permanent marker- you can never really get it off once it’s on something. So he finds her, attaches his soul to hers and uses what of his power he can to give her a stable body in the warp.

And that is the Maeddrona I have as my muse :)

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTERS 10 + 11

we had a week of peace and now we’re gonna get annihilated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have no clue how long this liveblog may end up but hell and high water i’m combining them both

she tore the jade pendant from her neck and flung it into the darkness.

let’s give a warm welcome, to sadness,

i’m very excited for all-new cinder content hhhhhhh if u havent gathered by now I Love This Bitch and I Love Her Many Problems so im thankful for this gift 😞

Cinder was a ruin, her pride carved and served like slabs of meat.

i can FEEL diesel n kc rly patting themselves on the back for every bit of wet meat they can toss at me!!!!!!!!!! U HEAR THAT I CAN FEEL U!!!!!!!!!!! but also i still love this shit w/ all my heart!!!!!!!!!! IM NEVER GONNA STOP SAYIN IT

She had never looked at Glynda’s files.

im so sorry cinder baby but that whole thing? is still HILARIOUS oh my GOD i cannot believe you fucked up that badly. u shoved yr entire head into a beartrap. u absolutely crapped yr pants on that one. yr gonna be thinking abt that on yr deathbed,

/looks at the chapter title again

hhhhhhhh im. so pumped. its gonna be hard to talk abt most of this w/o doing a million fingerguns a minute but i’m gonna try my best

Cinder approached the mirror and touched its silvered face with black-tipped claws,

I SAID IM GONNA TRY MY BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She was iron barbs beneath the nail bed, glowing coals underfoot, the singular capacity to do harm. She was a beast, armed with fang and claw and a deep, dark void where her compassion should have laid, and she was dressed for dinner.

HHHHHH god YES THIS IS THE CINDER IM THIRSTY FOR............ i literally cannot say anything that isnt a massive 👈😎👈 but AAAAAAA

like im reading thru this and i cant cherry-pick lines this whole bit? is SO GOOD...  kc n diesel are Yet Again obliterating me w/ their mastery of the narrative style of offal hunt and i just love all of this i rly wish i could explain how offal hunt is EXACTLY MY BRAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! F U C K

The final touch on her mastercraft disaster: the four sawed-off horn stumps which grew among her silver-streaked hair.

HOOOO B O I i am. Losin it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HER HORNS.......... CINDR...............

Wretchedly, she wondered: did Glynda even respect her now?

any other villain: my plan didnt work and im mad >:( cinder fall: my plan didnt work and now im mad but also mostly sad :(

CINDER’S TRYING HER BEST GOD.......... i literally hate how the remaster has made her So Soft, Actually... I BELIEVE IN U CINDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE U!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO YR BEST

Every part of her was hot and hollow. She was sick with loathing.

i LOVE HER.... CINDER I HOPE U KNO THAT YR LOVED... god tho i dont like how SAD I AM RN... cinder’s so small and the world is so big and wants 2 Shit On Her blease

honestly like. im rly- LOOK I SAID THIS BEFORE BUT. this is why im rly lovin the new cinder content because in the first version we only got glimpses of her internal machinations and now we’re in full-blown Always Sad territory and everything is suffering :)

She blinked. Her double did not.

‘well’, thought murphy. ‘that’s terrifying.’

she’d only survived thanks to a keen instinct for danger, cultivated during her tenuous teenage years.

i NEED. I NEED. CINDER BACKSTORY. all these lil nuggets dont constitute a meal! I WANT A BIG MAC AND FRIES. WHAT THE HELL WAS THIS BABY DOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also again. the body horror of offal hunt? peak content. Im Lovin It

its getting harder to divine what is and what is not a 👈😎👈 because we got bits sprinkled around and theres only rly a spoiler potential if u glue em all together so im still being extra careful and the answer is blared in everyones faces so this whole kondor scene will go uncommented unless some Bullshit Happens which it will, so,

When she had become so invested in Glynda’s approval? When had a desire to be recognized as something inhuman, something ferocious, something black and terrible and capable of keeping up with Glynda Fucking Goodwitch turned into this?

oh! oh! i have the answer! i do! i know the answer! it’s you a lesbian,

The spectres of her youth haunted this city, owl-eyed children and fox-eared teens. They’d been a second sort of family, the only kind she’d had within these walls, and she’d wondered what had become of them in the past decades, but…

It was too sentimental, and she wasn’t meant to be a creature of sentiment.

oh boy okay wow

okay so actually this bit made me cry??? fuck OFF im losing it!!!!!!!! LET HER BE SENTIMENTAL!!!! LET HER HAVE PPL TO CARE ABT!!!!!!!!!! IM LITERALLY CRYING IM GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!

She would go barefoot from this point on, her heels clutched at her side. When she left the hotel room to steal into the night, she promised herself not to look back.

im sorry im just. so sad rn. i havent cried over a fic in YEARS and we still have another chapter ago i hate this SO MUCH..............

here comes chapter 11 

if i cry even once more im going to stab!!!!!! im not sure what BUT ILL STAB!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even without his wings, the Manticore would easily have been twice the size of any of the other Grimm, far outstripping them in sheer bulk.

HATI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HATI HATI HATI

holy shit we actually get to see him this time!!!!!!!!!!! WE GET TO SEE THIS LEGENDARY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS CHONCC,

also hes a manticore now which is, Radical, may i just say, and just a little bit sexy,

The effortless grace in each move betrayed power most Grimm would not live to achieve. Once he stood, he had to dip his head low to meet her eye to eye. His canines were the length of her forearm.

if u werent here for the remaster? we never even SAW hati but now hes here, hes Big, and rly thats all that matters,

Like a child who’d been allowed to lie and lie until at last they’d strangled themself in the web they’d spun, Cinder couldn’t speak. Could only wait on his verdict.

every single one of cinder’s inherent themes is killing me and this business w/ family? stop. im dying. this is rude

The scant space between them popped and cracked like an sparking flame, warm and effervescent, and this time, Cinder lingered, hugging Hati close.

IF I CRY ONCE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MEAN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF U ASSHOLES MAKE ME CRY ONCE MORE I WILL DOXX YOU,

aaaaaaaaaaaaaah im loving this content i rly dont have words for it dhjfgsdfgjh i just, rly like the words, and the order theyre in, and i honestly keep forgetting to liveblog it cause i just wanna READ EM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tempting as it was—as it always had been, ever since she’d left the relative safety of the wastes and learned what happened to scraggly-limbed teens with horns and fangs and gleaming eyes—

with every chapter i desperately have 2 kno more abt baby cinder i HAVE to know i am so. UNBEARABLY CURIOUS... baby cinder what happened... what happened 2 u....

A lantern’s glow warmed her, bleeding into the darkness leeching at them both. It was a gentle gold across her skin, and like an answering signal from a distant outpost, Cinder saw a flush of light through the dark fur lining Hati’s throat, as though flames licked at his insides.

i forgot. that cinder glows like that when she feels Loved or full of pride and you know what i dont like these chapters. they were made to hurt me and i Dont Like That (im mclovin it)

From the safety of Hati’s neck, she found it easier—after all this time, he was still her bastion.

WHEN YOU REALISE? THAT YR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?? STOP,

For a regular person, the machine would be able to draw out short bursts of power, the likes of which no Semblance could ever channel. The taxation would eventually destroy the soul so deeply, so thoroughly, as to leave it empty for good.

For a Witch? For—

the fact. she cut herself off before she could think ‘for glynda’. has me on the FLOOR. this bit is just So Much i dont like it

Glynda Goodwitch would not abandon this hunt. Cinder knew it, had read it from her palms like an open book—Glynda Goodwitch did not know how to stop. If it had been anyone else on Remnant, they might never return, might never pull themselves back into action after today—but Glynda did not have a shred of self-preservation.

me, knocking against cinder’s head: u kno for someone w/ so many schemes in yr brain yr pretty dumb and gay, huh,

firstly let’s talk abt cinder’s “””””””””””””””””””self-preservation””””””””””””””””””” instin-- whats that? not found? yes

[Glynda’s] eyes were empty, hungry, insatiable.

i feel like ive read this line before! lets jump back a chapter--

In [Cinder’s] eyes, there was a subtle, endless hunger.

WAKE UP CINDER SHE’S YR SOULMATE!!!!!!!!!!! THE COFFEE’S READY U CAN SMELL THE BACON FROM HERE WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With a fluid leap, they were in the air, the ground quickly shrinking beneath them. Pressing her face against his neck to shield herself from the wind, she closed her eyes and prepared herself for what was to come, trusting Hati to deliver her safely.

that said i ADORE my boy hati is literally the best part of offal hunt kc and diesel do not interact,

He was frozen in horrific anticipation, like watching an imminent tragedy and being absolutely helpless to stop it. Like all the tension was mixed with grief and hopeless, futile fear.

when will offal hunt be nice to me. when will any of these characters get to be happy. hello. im full of sadness.

The sound was like a saw working back and forth, but resonating inside her head, rattling every tooth in her jaw, deafening to her ears.

im literally gritting my teeth at this i can hear it in my own head and its Very Bad!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

okay god i can barely handle to quote anything more this bit is hurting ME so lets swiftly move on before I Die

Cinder closed her weary eyes, sinking into sleep like a shallow grave.

BE NICE TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BE NICE TO HER JUST THIS ONCE, PLEASE, IM BEGGING YOU,

They only knew death, only ever sought death; fangs and claws slicked with blood, magic rending meat and marrow apart, and everywhere that choking, scalding heat, spilled blood like magma, like the core of a planet.

hmm... that seems like a 👈😎👈 ~reference~

They were all alert, ears pricked, hackles raised like Hati’s. They all fixed on the same spot, somewhere beyond the darkness of the cave opening, and though she could barely think, she knew:

She was out of time. The Witch was here.

oh no.

okay so THATS CHAPTERS 10 AND 11! i only cried ONCE and u kno what thats. a Victory. these two chapters were VERY GOOD i rly loved em and i can tell new readers r gonna have a blast w/ this shit!!!!!!!!!! meanwhile i, a veteran reader, am full of peril,

terrible.

[t0ngue-tech]

Love Me Again

“Letting you go was a mistake and I feel like an idiot. I didn’t realize the effort you were trying to put in despite your schedule and I let my selfishness get in the way of something beautiful.” 

↠angsttttty↞

word count: 3.3k

↠oneshot↞

♫ inspo: love me again - g.soul

a/n: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUNGKOOK! i love him so much. he is such boyfriend material im crying. i biased him at one point too lol. i know angst isnt the best thing to upload on such a beautiful day, but i didn’t plan this until yesterday i swear LOL. also, i know this sucks but pls bare with me D: 

Jungkook flickered his stare from his phone to his empty shot glass. For about five minutes, he had been staring at a contact name and hovering his finger over it, debating if he wanted to press call.

“Taehyung, fill her up.” Jungkook hissed. The bartender spun around with a disapproving look on his face and refilled the glass with the caramel colored whiskey.

After downing the shot in one go, he pressed the call button and waited for the ringing to turn into the voice he desperately wanted to hear. Instead, he was given an automated voice saying that the owner couldn’t be reached and to leave a message at the tone.

Jungkook let out a sigh. “Y/n?” He began. “It’s me, Jungkook. I know you don’t want to talk to me, but I really need to talk to you…” he pressed his forehead on the back of his hand. “I just—I need to hear your voice, y/n. Please just call me back… please?”

Jungkook ended the call and before he could ask for another refill, Taehyung snatched the glass out of his hand.

“That was the third time you called her tonight and you had enough to drink, Kook.” Taehyung lectured. Jungkook just glared at his friend for a brief moment and turned away. “I called Namjoon. He should be outside right now.”

“Dude, what the fuck?” Jungkook groaned.

“You’ve had enough. Go home and go to bed.” Taehyung instructed.

It was only nine in the evening and Jungkook had no intentions on going home this early, but the last thing he wanted was for Namjoon to storm inside and drag him out. Jungkook slammed a couple of bills onto the bar counter to pay for his tab and walked out with his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets.

Jungkook quietly entered the car, and Namjoon’s eyes were glued onto him. Without saying a word, Namjoon started up the engine to exit the parking lot of Taehyung’s bar.

It had been raining for the past couple of days and for the first time, the night was clear. The cold air beat against Jungkook’s flushed cheeks which gave him a sliver amount of relief for the headache he was starting to get. From the bar to where they were, Jungkook didn’t receive any phone calls or text messages.

“Taehyung told me that you called her, again.” Namjoon spoke, but Jungkook remained quiet. “You have to stop doing that, you know.” When Namjoon glanced at his friend, his head was turned and staring at the passing city lights. “Jungkook, you know that y/n has—”

“Namjoon, I have a tremendous amount of respect for you, but I don’t need your fucking lip service right now.” Jungkook snapped and rubbed the space in between his eyebrows. He knew and he didn’t need anymore reminders. The car grew silent again and eventually they reached Jungkook’s apartment complex.

With a loud sigh, Jungkook released his seatbelt and raked a hand through his hair. The headache seemed to be getting worse and he couldn’t tell if it was from the alcohol or from thinking too deeply.

“Jungkook.” Namjoon said. “I care about you—we care about you. I know you don’t want to hear it, but you can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

With another deep breath, Jungkook closed his eyes and sunk farther into the passenger seat. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“Also, you’re still going on Friday.” The younger was about to protest, but Namjoon cut him off. “Don’t attend the event for her, Hoseok is still our friend; do it for him.” He was right. Hoseok has been buy his side through everything and he didn’t have the heart to abandon him.

“Fine, but you’re helping me to my apartment because there’s no way I can make it up the stairs at the entrance.”

↠↞

Every spring, the Bangtan Dance Academy held a spring dance concert at the local theatre and Jungkook never missed a show. When Hoseok joined the academy, Jungkook and their friends attended a total of three spring concerts. The first concert Jungkook ever attended will always be memorable because that was when he first met you.

When the concert was over, Jungkook and their friends rushed to the back to congratulate Hoseok on a job well done. Not only did Jungkook congratulate Hoseok, he faintly whispered, “who was that girl you danced with for the first hip hop group?” Without a word, Hoseok grabbed Jungkook by the arm and led him farther towards the back where you were packing up your duffle bag.

“Y/n! I brought a fan.” Hoseok immediately embarrassed the both of you and Jungkook wanted to walk away. Hoseok excitedly nudged his nervous friend’s shoulder and waited until he said something.

“Y-You dance really well.” Jungkook’s voice shook.

“Thank you!” You beamed a smile that almost melted Jungkook onto the floor. “I’m y/n.” You stook out a hand and even if he was still nervous, Jungkook grasped onto your warm hand.

“I’m Jungkook.”

For almost a year, Jungkook took his time to get to know you well enough. He knew your favorite color, food, and even memorized your favorite coffee order. He knew about your pet peeves, the things that made you happy, your family and friends. Even if it took a while, it was definitely worth the wait because when Jungkook finally asked you to be his girlfriend, you didn’t hesitate to say yes.

The both of you dated a little over two years and everyday felt like a dream. You were perfect in every way possible and Jungkook knew he didn’t deserve you, but he didn’t want anyone else. Jungkook had dreams of becoming an athletic trainer and you supported him just like how he supported your dreams of becoming a professional dancer.

You cooked meals for him, woke him up when it was time for him to attend his classes, and you even joined him in the gym when you had time. Jungkook visited you when you had practice, watched you dance and if he had the time, he would wait patiently for you to finish.

When you officially became a choreographer for one of the hip hop groups, your schedule got busier. You spent a lot of time at the academy perfecting your choreography and if you weren’t there, you were at your part time job at the local library. Not only did it take a toll on your personal schedule, it created tension in your relationship with Jungkook.

Finding time had become a challenge as well as trying to stay up to talk to him on the phone. You didn’t expect to be that busy when you took the role as a choreographer. This caused a lot of arguments between the both of you and it was usually over the same thing; not being able to spend time with each other anymore. Eventually, Jungkook grew tired of the constant fighting and lonely nights and called it quits.

For months, Jungkook sulked and rattled his mind about whether or not he made the right decision. Months after it happened, Jungkook tried to text you and received nothing; your silence was his answer.

↠↞

It was a rainy Friday evening and Jungkook took shelter near the theatre. The recital wasn’t formal, so Jungkook wore a casual outfit that consisted of a white t-shirt, worn out jeans, and a leather jacket. He held a plastic bag that carried a box of sweets that Hoseok liked and beneath it was another small box of sweets with a red ribbon tied around it.

Jungkook patiently waited for Namjoon and Taehyung to arrive. He directed his attention to a side of the theatre that had posters of the recital plastered onto the wall. There was a boy carrying a bouquet of flowers and taking a photo of one of the posters. He was wearing a striped black and red sweater that seemed to appear big on his body frame and ripped denim jeans. At first he looked like a stranger, but his orange hair wasn’t that easy to forget.

It had almost been a year since Jungkook broke up with you and he’s been trying his hardest to cope with his feelings. He was on his way to the dance studio to drop off an extra pair of sweatpants because Hoseok forgot his at home. Jungkook was approaching the studio until he noticed your side profile instantly. He took cover behind one of the big trees that surrounded the building but peeked past the trunk to take a look at you.

Your hair had grown longer and was back to its natural color, black. You seemed to be looking happy and healthy, all of the things Jungkook wished for you to be since the breakup. He briefly looked away to gather strength to talk to you, but when he looked back, you were smiling at another boy.

He was just a bit taller than you were and had orange hair peeking from under his beanie. Jungkook convinced himself that he was just your friend, but it all changed when the boy handed you your duffle bag and kissed the spot in between your eyebrows. He watched as your eyes closed and stretched your lips into a soft smile. Jungkook remained in his spot until you parted ways with the other boy.

Hoseok danced in his denim pants that day.

The call of his name brought Jungkook’s attention to Taehyung and Namjoon who were sharing an umbrella. “Sorry for the wait, Taehyung took too long.” Namjoon side eyed Taehyung who was already glaring at him.

“I beg to differ. I said to buy Hoseok a grapefruit tart and you forgot, so we had to go out and buy one.” Taehyung retorted.

Jungkook listened as they bicker like they usually did. He looked back towards the posters and the mystery boy had already left.

“Ready to go in? The rain could start getting heavier.” Namjoon asked and Jungkook agreed silently, hoping to not run into the other boy.

↠↞

The recital aided in relieving Jungkook’s racing thoughts. Hoseok took center stage for multiple numbers and he even danced with you as well. Jungkook watched you with a heavy heart, but still made an effort to enjoy the recital.

Once it was over, the dancers entered the stage to take a bow and the theatre was filled with loud cheers. Jungkook clapped and tried to contribute with the cheering, but he couldn’t stop staring at you. Even at a distance, he could tell your eyes were shining and wore a big smile. Dancing was your passion and Jungkook felt as if he failed to completely understand that.

After the recital, the theatre was swarming with family and friends taking pictures and congratulating one another. Jungkook, Namjoon, and Taehyung had already agreed to meet where they usually did, right behind the curtains. Hoseok was wiping down his forehead with a towel when Taehyung ran in to throw his arms around his sweaty friend.

“Good job, Hoseok! Killed it like always! Here’s a little something I bought for you.” Taehyung handed him the small bag that contained mini grapefruit tarts.

“We bought. Stop taking all the credit.” Namjoon intervened.

“Thanks you guys, it means a lot that you all came.” Hoseok smiled brightly.

“Wouldn’t have missed it dude.” Jungkook handed him his box of sweets. “Too bad the others couldn’t get the night off.”

“Yeah too bad—hey, are those the brownie-cookie things? You better share.” Taehyung jumped beside Hoseok to get a better view of the sweets Jungkook bought for him.

“Taehyung, just buy your own. Your bar is not too far from the bakery.” Namjoon tried to pull him away from Hoseok.

“But they’re right in front of me now!”

“Tae—”

Jungkook watched as his cluster of friends bickered in a playful way. He looked over his shoulder to the small hallway that led to another small room where dancers kept their belongings. Without saying a word, Jungkook quietly stepped back to take his leave without being noticed.

Using his prior knowledge, Jungkook was hoping that you still waited in the backroom to cool off and he was right.

Your back was to your corridor and you changed from your last performance outfit to a hoodie and gray sweatpants. Jungkook hesitated to speak because he was afraid you would completely blow him off, but he took the risk.

“Hi y/n.” His voice soft and his hands were shaking, but you turned around and greeted him with a smile Jungkook never thought he would ever see again.

“Jungkook, hi.”

“You did great tonight, like you always do.” He took a deep breath and stepped forward, preparing himself for you to take a step back but you didn’t.

“Thank you so much. I saw you and your friends in the crowd. Namjoon’s pink hair is hard to miss.” The way you spoke to him gave Jungkook the same butterflies he had when you first met and those butterflies were suffocating him.

Silence fell for a short moment until Jungkook finally had the courage to say what was on his mind. “I’ve called you, but I can’t seem to get a hold of you.”

You bit down on your lip and rubbed the back of your neck. “I-I know, Jungkook and I just—”

“I miss you, y/n.” He blurted out.

“Jungkook…” you sighed, completely thrown off by his words.

“Hear me out, okay?” His words didn’t stop there. “I know I don’t have the right to say those words to you when I’m the one who broke things off, but it’s true. I fucking miss you and I’ve been a wreck these past couple of months.” Jungkook felt a vibration in his pocket and ignored it. “Letting you go was a mistake and I feel like an idiot. I didn’t realize the effort you were trying to put in despite your schedule and I let my selfishness get in the way of something beautiful.”

There were tears in your eyes upon hearing Jungkook’s speech. The words he said were everything you wanted to hear and more. But hearing it now wasn’t enough to patch up your wounds.

“You hurt me, Jungkook.” Tears fell from your eyes and the plastic bag he tightly held onto fell to the floor as he immediately stepped forward to wipe your cheeks. Words from the day you two broke up echoed in his mind.

“You don’t even make time for me anymore!”

“I know.” He whispered.

“You made me feel like a burden.”

“I get tired of waiting for you to get home too.”

“I know, y/n and I’m so sorry.” Jungkook’s voice cracked and held your dampened cheeks in his hands. He pressed his forehead against yours; he didn’t mean for it to happen, but the action came almost naturally. It took everything inside of him to not swoop down and capture your lips, tasting the saltiness of your tears and the familiar taste of your lips.

The day you two broke up was clear in Jungkook’s head. He remembers the harsh words you two exchanged, the tears you shed, and up until the moment you left his apartment. There was something inside of him screaming that there was no way you were going to start all over with him, but he had to hope.

“Y/n, I still love you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me.” Jungkook pressed on with his words, hoping that he could somehow reach you. “I know that dance is important to you and I also know that I was important to you too. I was just too blind to see that.”

You cupped Jungkook’s warm hands that cradled your face and slowly removed yourself from him, but not letting go of his hands. You squeezed tightly and locked eye contact with him.

“Jungkook, I’m happy where I am right now.” The softness in your voice made small cracks in his heart.

“Can’t you be happy with me?”

There was a wavering glint in your eyes, but you firmly stood your ground.

“Not as lovers.”

It was Jungkook’s turn to feel a stinging sensation in his eyes. He desperately wanted you to be his girlfriend again and every hope he had of that was shattered. He hid his face by staring at the glossy wood of the floor. The words he spoke didn’t reach you and he felt selfish for wanting to be the source of your happiness.

“B-But—”

“I want to be friends with you, Jungkook, I honestly do, but I also don’t think it’s safe to build a friendship with you at this moment.” Now it was you to wipe away the tears and rolled down his cheek. He didn’t want to cry, but his emotions flooded and broke through.

“I don’t want to be just friends with you.” He choked. You placed a hand on his broad shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

“I have to go.”

“No, no, please. Please stay.” Jungkook reached for your hands again. “Don’t go, y/n.”

“Jungkook, I have to. Jimin is waiting for me.” You spoke, trying to excuse yourself, but he kept his hold on you. “Jungkook…”

At the sound of the boy’s name, Jungkook’s heart dropped into the pit of his stomach. He had no right to stop you, but god, he wanted you to stay. His grip loosened and his arms slowly dropped back down to his sides. You reached back up to pat down his cheeks with the sleeve of your hoodie.

“Don’t beat yourself up anymore. You can find happiness again too.” You whispered sadly.

“I love you, y/n.” Jungkook whispered and lifted his head up to meet your eyes. They were glassy, but you blinked continuously to avoid anymore tears. The melody of your ringtone sounded off and for a second, you hesitated to pick up.

“Bye, Jungkook. I’ll see you around.” Before leaving, you caressed the damp skin of Jungkook’s face and softly smiled at him. You stepped back and answered your phone call. “Sorry Jimin. I’m heading out now.”

With a heavy heart, Jungkook watched you disappear out the back exit into the rain with your pony tail swaying back and forth. You were happy with where you were and he had to be happy for you too. But how could he when he wanted to be the source of your happiness.

The vibration in his pocket happened again and this time he answered.

“Hello?”

“Dude, where are you? We’re going to get pizza to celebrate!”

“S-Sorry Hoseok. I’ll meet you guys right outside.”

Jungkook ended the call and stared back at the back door you exited from. Watching you leave made him feel like he lost you all over again. He had to live with this regret and the knowing you found someone who made you happy. This was it and there was nothing more he could do. But the least he could do was respect your space.

Before leaving the back room, he noticed the box he failed to give you. It was flat on the floor peeking out of the plastic bag. He contemplated about taking it back with him or just tossing it out because it didn’t mean anything now.

It was all a metaphor; carrying all of his feelings with him or leaving it all behind. How could Jungkook possibly change your mind especially since you were already happy now. Finally he made the critical decision to pick it up and drop it in a nearby trash can.

It was really all a metaphor; Jungkook had to get rid of his feelings or else he was going to keep hurting himself. He walked out of the back room with heavy footsteps; walking away from it all.

♡ rae

[thoughtsbecomehim-blog]

i dont feel like i have anybody i can talk to so this is all just going out into empty space for the sake of posterity

i feel like i am being torn apart. sorrow, self pity, anger. hopefulness. the usual shit associated with heartbreak i guess. ive for now and potentially forever lost the person i want. she intermittently wants nothing to do with me and it makes me feel like something less than dirt. we built our lives together, not without mistakes and hardship, for four years. in a number of very important ways i have failed to be what she needed or became it too late. you can’t make somebody want to be with you. i just know that i want her. my memory tells me that most things i do are for her, from the small fires to put out before they turn into big ones for her, from the big ones like moving across the country twice to be with her. i breathe this person. seeing her happy from something i’ve done for her is the best feeling in the world for me. the road to hell is paved with good intentions i suppose. 

seeing my roommates happy with each other is like a hammer to my heart as well. their happiness is gut-wrenching and makes my recently deteriorated spirit shrink more and more. they have been a large stressor on our relationship since shortly after we moved in with them. everything was fine, in fact very good at first. i was excited to come home to our house and despite the looming debt of a 4000 dollar bill to get my vehicle back having a place to call our own again negated that. they do not live the same way we do though, they do not respect our things the way they should be nor do they treat shared space with much if any mutual respect. 

i told a close friend about some of this over drinks and found out last night that he was doing something bad to another friend of mine. so the guy i was at least willing if not comfortable talking about the turmoil in my life about has lost a ton of respect from me. i dont think i can look at him the same way for a while. i can tell my mom anything but she just doesnt really get it and it’s hard to counsel somebody when they are explaining why and how their relationship between two mentally suspect/unwell people has failed. 

ive found some refuge in listening to more music but that doesn’t last. every time my brain isn’t occupied it’s agonizing over what is going to end up happening which is just so unbelievably unhealthy. it is hard to hide whats going on at work and i cant magically be in a work mood when i need to be so when people inevitably ask whats wrong i mostly just want to scream out loud and die. i’m not under the assumption that break ups should be easy but i don’t know how you can ever really be ready to deal with it. 

starting a new schedule at work is also not an appealing idea and when i have days off by myself i have no ability to fill the entire day with productivity. those activity gaps are equally agonizing and the time spent in them seems to last three times longer than in reality. i realize the onus is on me to fill those gaps but part of the issue is knowing one is coming and then the anxiety setting in makes it hard to accomplish anything. 

we are also dealing with a flea infestation that our roommates are under the impression we, but specifically me, am responsible for. it has solidified the financially unwise but necessary decision to leave after the lease is up in march, along with my now ex partner potentially back to florida for good. 

i just feel like a lot of things have stacked against me in a very short amount of time. My relationship deteriorated quickly after we went out with our roommates for one of their birthdays where we felt obligated to go, spend basically all of our money doing so instead getting groceries or whatever. we both had an extremely bad time and took it out on each other. weeks after that her coworker let loose that another coworker has falsely claimed that she and i had ‘fooled around’ which was both completely removed from reality and a vicious attempt to hurt my partner at the expense of my own life and privacy over a crush she has on a guy my partner occasionally hangs out with as friends. the seed of doubt planted, my partner broke up with me because she could not believe me saying it wasn’t true. among a mountain of other more important things, true, but that was the final catalyst. the following two days were filled with hard, crushing words that make me shrivel even remembering.

i know the ways i have failed her as a partner. i know the ways i have loved her and done the right things for her as well. the bad outweighs the good for her. that’s life. i hope we choose to begin anew. as the adults we are. i cannot imagine ever wanting to take care of another person the way i do with her, nor can i imagine being more willing and eager to do so. it is very, very challenging to not let my anxiety about this affect the space i need to give her. being around her literally dissolves my insecurities, this was the first year i have been without a shirt around people who arent extremely close friends or family in 11 years. her being good for my mental health isnt a reason to stay with me though. 

ive been thinking about getting a therapist. just somebody to talk to that i dont have to associate with on a regular basis. the first 15 years of my life were intermittently spent in therapists offices with questionable results. i dont know that i can cite any tangible benefit directly related but i know that i dont have any desire to do to somebody else what was done to me so maybe thats a win for therapy. i cant see myself getting seriously suicidal, outside of the momentary contemplation we all experience when things are very tough. but there are some self harm issues, body image issues and other various things that i dont believe i work out myself. there’s also the realization that sometimes stuff like that you just have to carry. it’s not going to leave no matter who you talk to or what pills they give you. whatever facet of my personally that makes me feel like talking about my feelings with my friends is just unloading unwanted baggage for them i truly resent. 

every bad feeling you can have about yourself is something i’ve experienced daily for the last two weeks. i want to both collapse and explode at the same time. i want to feel your hand in mine and your lips against mine. i know it’s not going to happen for a long time, if ever. 

[viralhottopics]

‘The building creaks and sways’: life in a skyscraper

From Chicago to Dubai, Manchester to Melbourne, our cities are climbing above the clouds. Whats it like to live on the 64th floor?

Cities is supported by About this content

Manhattans avenues stretch north like tracks through a forest, eventually disappearing into Harlem. Below me, Central Park is laid out like a picnic blanket, its largest trees rendered shrub-like. To the south, the Empire State Building pierces the citys canopy of stone and iron, and the blue glass of the new World Trade Center glints beyond it. Between them, the Statue of Liberty is almost lost in the haze.

This is the view from the worlds highest home, as enjoyed virtually, using Google Earth. Because to enjoy it in person would require knowing the unnamed owner of the 800 sq m penthouse at 432 Park Avenue or buying it for more than the $88m (71m) it sold for last year.

But there are alternatives for those with a head for heights and the money to match. Next year, the 426m Park Avenue tower will lose its title to 111 West 57th Street, rising two blocks to the west. Meanwhile in India, the 442m Mumbai World One will push higher still, its Armani-designed penthouses on level 117 offering airliner views of the Arabian Sea.

Once, only offices reached so high. In 2000, there were 215 office towers worldwide above 200m high (the first, the Metropolitan Life Tower in New York, was completed in 1909), but only three residential towers that high. Today, there are 255 residential towers above that height, with a further 184 under construction. Mixed-use towers, with apartments as well as offices and hotels, include the Burj Khalifa, still the worlds tallest building, at 828m. The Jeddah Tower in Saudi Arabia, due to be completed in 2020, will be the first to break 1,000m. Its highest apartments will be on the 156th floor.

What is life like up there? For decades, tower blocks typically comprised social or affordable housing in crowded cities or on new estates. Hundreds were built in the postwar social housing boom, in cities across Europe. But today the highest residential towers are overwhelmingly luxury developments, and many remain empty, weeks after selling. If skyscrapers broke ground as barometers of corporate hubris, increasingly they now stand for personal excess, applying gravity to the wealth divide.

Britain, traditionally a low-rise country, is part of the boom. Skyscraper clusters are casting shadows across London. In Manchester, the first 200m building outside the capital is due for completion next year. Even in Bristol, where St Mary Redcliffe church has been unrivalled in its heavenwards reach for more than six centuries, there are plans for a 22-storey residential tower that would come close.

Jason Gabel, an urban planner at the Chicago-based Council on Tall Buildings and Urban Habitat, which keeps a global skyscraper database, says advances in building technology partly explain the trend. Lifts can now travel at more than 40mph and climb for hundreds of metres, thanks to lightweight carbon fibre ropes. Sophisticated dampening systems at the tops of towers mean slender buildings can rise higher, on smaller urban plots, without toppling in a storm or swaying to the point of causing nausea.

For a growing number of city dwellers, day-to-day life can be a little different. The payoff for peace and endless views can be five-minute waits for the lift at rush hour and even sunburn. You could get tanned in winter if you sat right by the window: theres a bit of a greenhouse effect, the owner of a 64th-floor apartment above Chicago tells me. Vertigo can be another danger. At the top of a tower in east London, former taxi driver Sammy Dias rarely uses his balcony: I dont like heights, and if people go out and start messing about, I can get quite angry, he says from a safe distance inside.

I spoke to residents around the world, and many reported feeling uplifted by their elevated perspective, but there are hidden downsides: a Canadian study of heart attack victims showed survival rates dropped markedly on higher floors, because they were harder for paramedics to reach.

Skyscraping homes have always held an allure; a house with a view, a life in the sky. They frequently evoke dystopian imagery; Ern Goldfingers troubled Trellick Tower in west London, completed in 1972, is thought to have inspired JG Ballards dark thriller High-Rise. It was originally entirely owned by the Greater London Council, and rented out as council flats. Now social tenants of the Grade II*-listed building, and its sister, Balfron Tower in east London, are being displaced by upwards gentrification. Less desirable council towers are reaching the end of their habitable lives, facing decay, demolition or expensive repair.

Meanwhile, the upper floors of many new luxury skyscrapers serve as foreign cash stores: giant briefcases with views. The highest homes in Britain are the 10 luxury apartments between floors 53 and 65 of the Shard. They are among the most opulent in London, yet almost five years after their completion, none is occupied or even for sale or rent. The reason remains a mystery.

Stacking people on shelves is a very efficient method of human isolation, says Jan Gehl, a veteran Danish architect and renowned urban design consultant. A critic of residential towers even where they are fully occupied, Gehl likens them to gated mansions in the sky. Humans, he says, did not evolve to look up or down: We have seen, in the past 20 years, a withdrawal from society into the private sphere, and towers are an easy way to achieve that.

Is this the experience of those who live above our rising cities? Finding out isnt easy; even when or if they are home, residents of the most rarefied apartments in the world are hard to identify, much less reach. But all human life is there, way up on the 64th floor.

Mike Palumbo, 50, trader; Water Tower Place, Chicago

Mike and Veronica Palumbo on the 64th floor of Water Tower Place, Chicago: Oprah used to live a few floors down. Photograph: Alyssa Schukar for the Guardian

Chicago born and raised, Mike Palumbo is a Bulls fan who grew up on the edge of the city, the son of a truck parts salesman. From a corner near his house, he would gaze at the John Hancock tower, the matt-black, tapering monolith near the lakeshore, and dream big. When I hit 13, I went to high school downtown, Palumbo says. I would take the L train to within a block of the John Hancock. Back then, there was this guy called Spiderman whod climb up it with suction cups. I loved it. Id walk around and I was like, man, Id rather be in the city where all the action is. This is me.

Palumbo became a fund manager and in 2007 made $100m. For 18 years, he has lived in an eight-bedroom apartment on the 64th floor of Water Tower Place, an exclusive residence right across the street from his favourite skyscraper. Oprah Winfrey used to live a few floors down, Palumbo says as we look out, and down, on a forest of skyscrapers. David Axelrod, President Obamas chief strategist, remains a neighbour and chairs the pets committee on the buildings management board. Im a dog lover, but there are people who dont want them in the building, says Palumbo, who also sits on the board. You try to get along, but youve got a lot of very successful people arguing over minuscule things.

The Palumbos view of Chicagos John Hancock Center. Photograph: Alyssa Schukar for the Guardian

Half of Palumbos apartment is a man cave, with cigars in a jar on a bar next to a pool table. The other half is crammed with the accessories of parenthood: Palumbo and his second wife, Veronica, had twins last year, and their nanny lives with them. They add five minutes to any journey to allow time to get everything into the elevator. He has four grown-up children from his first marriage, who often visit.

As a young trader, Palumbo got job offers from Wall Street, but never wanted to leave Chicago. I just love this view, he says. When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is open the blinds and let the sun come in. It doesnt get any better. Yet he is also scared of heights. Im OK with the windows, but if this was a ledge, Id be freaking out right now. He opens the window and a gust of wind slaps our faces. A spiders web somehow still clings to the frame. I never understand how these guys get all the way up here, he says.

Below us, I count more than a dozen rooftop swimming pools. The 423m Trump Tower dominates the skyline to the south. Later, a cleaning cradle winds past and the men with rags avoid looking through the glass. I would not want that job, Palumbo says.

Ian Simpson, 61, architect; Beetham Tower, Manchester

We want to intensify the city, not spread it out, says Ian Simpson, at his home on the 47th floor of the Manchester skyscraper he designed. Photograph: Fabio de Paola for the Guardian

Ian Simpson is from a family of demolition experts and grew up in a poor northern suburb of Manchester. I spent my youth climbing up mill chimneys and blowing them up, he says. But, somewhere along the way, I went from knocking things down to putting them back up again.

Simpson became one of Britains leading architects and has been instrumental in Manchesters regeneration, not least since an IRA bomb destroyed large parts of the city centre in 1996. He now occupies a unique position at the top of his own skyscraper, a steel-and-glass eyrie from which he surveys a city he has helped shape. At 47 floors, Beetham Tower cuts a lonely, slender figure above south Manchester, the tallest building in Britain outside London. Nobody thought it was going to stand alone, Simpson says in his vast, two-storey penthouse, which includes what may be Manchesters only olive grove. Other tall buildings had consent, but then we hit the recession.

For 10 years, Simpson and his partner have enjoyed uninterrupted views. The light here is spectacular, he says. It animates the space as it moves around; I find it very uplifting. Its like a little oasis right in the city. But the architect is happy that Manchester is on the rise again. There are plans for almost a dozen new towers above 30 storeys, chief among them the Owen Street development. Designed by Simpsons practice, which he leads with architect Rachel Haugh, it will include a 200m tower of 49 floors, a new high for the city.

Simpsons view of Manchester. Photograph: Fabio de Paolo for the Guardian

This is what Manchester needs, Simpson says. Historically, nobody lived in the city centre. If you had money, you lived in the leafy suburbs to the south; if you didnt, you lived to the north like me. Thats changing, and we need to have a critical mass to create the jobs and demand for everything else, whether its bars and restaurants or infrastructure.

I have a lovely painting in my office down there of the city in the 18th century. It was a city of towers but they were mill chimneys. When that changed, there were gaps, which generally became car parks. We want to fill those gaps and intensify the city, not spread it out. Like those chimneys, Simpson says, tall buildings provide not only a function, but also an image of confidence.

We move from the living area into the olive grove, which occupies a sort of penthouse conservatory, facing south. Thirty miles to the west, Liverpool is visible on a clear day. The trees, more than 30 of them, were shipped from Italy and lowered through the roof before the buildings crane came down. They love it up here, Simpson says. But theres no pollination: we dont get any bees this high, so there are no olives.

Farimah Moeini, 35, media sales manager; Ocean Heights, Dubai

Its a bubble: when I was 16, you heard Arabic music and saw local people, says Farimah Moeini of Dubai, where she lives on the 68th floor. Photograph: Siddharth Siva for the Guardian

As a teenager in Tehran, Farimah Moeini would often fly to Dubai with family and friends. She knew only the old town because that was all there was. Everything you can see here was sand, she says via video call from the Dubai apartment she shares with her British husband, Luke, and their baby, Liam. The Palm, Dubai Marina, all these towers: none of it existed. I remember going to the older malls. Wed have shawarmas and use fake IDs to try to get into bars and clubs. Then it started to grow and it hasnt stopped.

Moeini left Tehran, where her father owned a textiles factory, to go to college in the US. In 2009, she got a job with Yahoo and moved to Dubai at a time when rents were cheap following the global financial downturn. She met Luke, who works in real estate, the following year. They live in a one-bed apartment on the 68th floor of Ocean Heights, a residential block in the marina. Burj Khalifa, the worlds tallest building, looms 13 miles along the coast.

Moeinis view of Dubai. Photograph: Siddharth Siva for the Guardian

You do feel as if youre in a bubble, Moeini says. Sometimes I pinch myself, because a lot of the lifestyle is not really real. Its all so clean and neat and safe. Theres a cultural bubble, too. When I was 16, you would hear Arabic music and see local people everywhere; it was more authentic. I also miss nature. In Iran, we have four seasons, and its beautiful when they change. Here, years go by and you dont know where you are.

But its a nice bubble. Its fun and easy to meet people from all around the world. Its a happy place. I also love being up here its insane how calm you feel. Just waking up every sunrise and staring out to sea is so soothing. If I sit on my sofa and look out, I can only see sea and sky. And they are real.

Sammy Dias, 77, retired taxi driver; Petticoat Tower, London

I cant go out on the balcony. They call this one the haunted flat, says Sammy Dias of his home on the 21st floor of Londons Petticoat Tower. Photograph: David Levene for the Guardian

For more than 30 years, Sammy Dias has lived in Petticoat Tower, a 1970s council block owned by the City of London Corporation, and for most of them hes been on the 21st floor, two down from the roof. On a sunny January afternoon, he draws back the net curtain in his living room and looks east towards Stratford.

Look at that you see the Olympic Stadium there? he asks. The buildings zigzag roof supports come into view three miles away. Since the 2012 Games, it has become dwarfed by taller apartment buildings. Just look at the amount of flats that have gone up: its unbelievable. Its almost happened overnight.

The Gherkin and 110 Bishopsgate flank Petticoat Tower. Photograph: David Levene for the Guardian

Dias drove a black cab in and around the Square Mile for 45 years, until he retired five years ago. From street level and above, he has watched London rise. The Gherkin, just 200m away, casts a shadow over his building. 110 Bishopsgate, with its rooftop sushi restaurant and exposed lifts, rears up just two streets to the west.

Dias turns his gaze down over Aldgate, a hodgepodge of housing and mushrooming hotels, and Petticoat Lane market, where clothing has been sold for centuries. I worked down there when I was an 11-year-old, pulling barrows out, he says. Every stall sells the same thing now. You see that brown building there? Thats where I was born: number one Herbert House.

Dias didnt plan to live high up, and never uses his tiny balcony. He hates heights. Im OK sitting here, but I cant go out there. They call this the haunted flat theres been a suicide from that balcony.

His first flat here was on the 11th floor, but he and his wife, Phyllis, a jewellers bookkeeper, moved up in 1994, when a two-bed flat became available. Soon after, she developed Alzheimers disease; she died in 2001.

It took a while to get used to living here alone, but I have a good routine now, Dias says, sitting in one of the rooms two armchairs. Photos of the couple stand on an old dresser. Sometimes I wake up early and lie there and reminisce, or I might read the paper. Then I get up, have a wash and the radio goes on. I listen to Radio X with Chris Moyles. I cant stand him, but I love the music. Later, Ill go out and meet the little old boy on the estate with the frame. We go to the Bell, where I had my first drink aged 16. Ill have two pints of lager, then two maximum three gin and lemonades, come back up here, have my grub, get relaxed and go to bed.

Dias plans to live out the rest of his days here. My mind is all there. I went to school up until age 11, and I could still tell you everyone who was in my class. Its the genes; Ive got a 90-year-old sister and we have a conversation on the phone. April the first I was born, I was married April 1st and, the way I feel sometimes, Im gonna snuff it on April 1st. Ill do the treble.

A City of London housing officer recently came to discuss a move into a one-bed flat. Dias had suggested it himself, but declined when it became clear that it would mean leaving the building. I said, Ive got friends here! This is my area. Ive got everything and Im happy. Do you know what I call it? I call it my castle.

Traci Ann Wolfe, 40, actor; 8 Spruce Street, New York

Read more: http://bit.ly/2jPUXoC from ‘The building creaks and sways’: life in a skyscraper