#without any context whatsoever but yknow

[theminecraftbox]

i didn't quite like it the final lore of c!quackity, it's wasn't bad but i think it should have showed what he did after him losing cslime friendship and a live. Like for me it wasn't quite a good end for all his lore

strongly agree / agree / ambivalent / disagree / strongly disagree / don't care whatsoever

I'd agree that LN5 was the weakest of the Las Nevadas series, but I kinda disagree with you as to why. I do not think, for instance, that seeing more of Quackity's aftermath following his death at Slime's hands would have assisted in justifying the conclusion we ultimately got: because the conclusion we are shown onscreen is that Quackity has declined his call to redemption! he sends a few people a youtuber apology and then doubles right back down into the same old shit. Las Nevadas does not fall. Quackity has decided that's his legacy: the country he built on sand with bloody hands. He says he's planning to put the factory to use and make sure Las Nevadas sticks around for centuries to come: which is, yknow, a complete rejection of whatever lesson his death might have otherwise taught.

Which is like... par for the course? In terms of motivation's c!Quackity's got and the remorse he's shown for various actions, he's done quite a lot of bad things for very selfish reasons and without evidence of regret whatsoever. In terms of the people who Quackity has directly hurt... Slime isn't actually one of them! Slime is not Foolish. Slime is not Dream! Slime isn't even Purpled. Rather, Slime is an observer, a victim of circumstance who, once given the opportunity, was able to accurately perceive that even though Quackity treated him well, a) he treated others decidedly poorly, and b) his ideas about power and legacy were both cruel and paranoid.

This is fine as a send-up. This isn't half-bad as catharsis. However, I would argue that it feels a little strange in the context that Slime doesn't know shit about some of the worst things Quackity has done, namely, the entire prison arc.

At the risk of being a pandorolo again, the prison arc is central to Quackity's moral spiral into hell. Which is why it's a bit strange that it was massively underutililized in LN5, and, I'd argue, mis-utilized in LN4.

The point here isn't to say that Dream should have gotten to kill Quackity or whatever. I don't really think that would have been better; in fact I adore the facts of what we got, namely Dream being forced to panic and flee. But just take a moment and compare what we got with Dream and Sam with what we got with Dream and Quackity. I'm not even talking about how much longer Daedalus was than the brief scene we got in LN5; I'm talking about how the conversation in Daedalus was specifically designed for me, kat theminecraftbox to force Sam to confront the moral and practical and emotional ramifications of what he's done and then to decide whether to reject or accept those implications. How does Quackity answer Dream showing up on his lawn? With a couple of lines about how Dream deserved it that Dream doesn't have the time or inclination to respond to, followed by the chaos making any sort of resolution totally impossible.

It's hard for me to conceive of a LN finale that's less coupled to those acts that constitute some of Quackity's most significant actions on the server wrt his moral development. Which kinda sucks when you're doing a denouement of an arc purportedly meant to deal with those ramifications.

[mrslittletall]

oh trust me, mothiva lives in my head against my will. ive got a Lot of hcs, but compiling them may be difficult (brain machine broke, yknow how it is). i think a lot about both her General Dysfunction and the fact that shes an idol, if only bc idol culture is a wee bit fucked.

-She's got anger issues. She'll say she doesn't have anything of the like, she tries to keep it under control best she can, but it's undeniably a Thing and absolutely comes into play if a bug happens to annoy her too much.

-She would probably bite someone if given the chance to do so without social consequences.

-Her morals are almost entirely related to social expectations and "what would look good for me". Most of them are discardable when the situation comes to it. Most of the ones that she doesn't consider discardable are informed by Zasp's opinions on the matter.

-You know how her longer fur is off-white and her shorter fur is yellow? She's got a real wonky double-coat situation going on. The shorter sections are sheared to show off the color, and are a lot softer to touch but provide no protection whatsoever against wind.

-Her kick hits as hard as B33's charge attack. This one isn't a headcanon, I just think about it incredibly often. The list of attacks that actually knock a character down unblocked is incredibly low and the length of that list happens to imply that Mothiva kicks roughly as hard as the entire Heavy Drone B33 slamming into you at top speed.

-Her relationship with Zasp is extremely goddamn bizarre, both in a "I'm not sure how to describe what's going on here" way and in a "the way these two people communicate is so out of the norm that it's really hard to define what's going on there" way. I do think they like each other, but I don't think that whatever they have going on here is translateable to any normal relationship.

-Speaking of communication, she doesn't know how to do it. She learned to interact with people in the context of being an idol and simply didn't gain social skills past that. She could not carry a normal conversation outside of that script if her life depended on it.

-It's against her contract to date. Like, legally, she's not allowed to date at all. Whether or not she's obeying this is... up for debate? I've written a few (currently unfinished & unpublished) fics abt my take on her and Zasp's relationship but honestly, I have no clue how to sum any of that up without, like, 30k words of essay and gods know I've edited my own work to get things across enough that Whatever They Have Going On There is hard to properly quantify.

Oh, anon, these are excellent! Forgive me for not reacting to each one in detail though. The kicks! Yeah, I remember when she went up to Vi and just kicked her so hard she got knocked out! Loved that! Mothiva suddenly throwing hands! Actually, I would like this 30 page essay ^^ And yeah, I know the feeling of a character living in your head rentfree even though in canon they suck! It can be so fun to come up with headcanons for them. Also yeah, idol culture is HARSH, but we also can't excuse abusers because of the circumstances. It is an explanation, not an excuse. Of course she is fictional, but in RL,nobody who abuses you should do it just because they have it "hard".

[galaxythreads]

Idk if you're still doing the lore thing, but if you are: The Blood Of My Enemy Stains My Hands Now?

I am ALWAYS still doing lore for fics. Sorry this took like two weeks to answer, anon.

LORE FOR THE BLOOD OF MY ENEMY STAINS MY HANDS NOW <-- link to story

this was written as a request for Tamuril2, who asked for something with Loki and Fury after I wrote My Kids Will Call Me Fury , where Fury collected the Avengers as his kids. They wanted something with Loki and Fury specifically, so when I added the additional scene at the end of MKWCMF, I also decided to just...write this.

I didn't have a plan. I didn't even really have an end goal in mind.

I remember starting to write it and just being like "yknow what, fine" and just letting it go wherever. I wrote the entire thing in like seven hours. I am a meticulous planner for multi-chapters. For one-shots I kinda just let the story take itself.

Fair warning, I haven't read this story in probably 2 years. No, I think i listened to it at work recently? honestly i have no idea.

lol. Fury is such an a-hole.

---

it was not ear blood. It was the fact that Loki was crying. The ear blood just sort of sealed the deal.

---

PTSD from being tortured by Thanos ^^^

---

"Flesh around a long, ragged gorge (a stab, not clean) is blackened and the veins around it are turning a purplish-blue."

.....

galaxy.

that's kind of too funny to go and edit out honestly. Sometimes I find grammar errors that I can't stand but this is just. This is comedy gold.

reason 1134325235 I should have a beta, but don't. (I edit vigorously but that only catches 92% of everything)

---

"Fury can see evidence of previous scars there, white and not as faint as he's expecting for someone over a millennia old."

^^^

from torture with thanos

---

yeah, i think the injury has changed like at least two times that I've noticed. If you can't tell, I literally had no idea what I was going with, lol.

---

ha. Everyone kept making jokes about how Thanos would be defeated by Cap Marvel alone without any effort on her part whatsoever before Endgame came out and I found it really annoying. This is 1000% a "look, carol can't solve everything" point.

---

"He jolts a little and his face twitches with something that looks close to a grimace. Fury leans against the side of the car a little, and stares at him."

^^ hypervigilance, a common symptom of ptsd

---

""Believe me, Director, the things that are after me would horrify you."

Fury blinks. "That is not reassuring."

"It wasn't meant to be."

Of course not. Brat."

I love them, your honor.

---

"And, well, he attempted to smuggle me out the next day. We didn't make it far. Odin commissioned Thor banned from Asgard for the next two years and I to the snake pits beneath the palace."

THEY JUST HAVE SNAKE PITS BENEATH THE PALACE AND NO ONE BRINGS THAT UP AGAIN? WHAT IS THIS????????? AMERICA EXPLAIN!

----

"There is no way that Fury is sending him back. None on this planet, none on any other. If capital punishment must be met, it should be clean. Fury has never been big on torture as recompense for a crime."

I know there are a lot of mcu fics out there where Fury 100% engages in torture and believes it's an effective means of retrieving information or enacting punishment, but I personally don't see Fury doing that. To be clear, I think those fics are fun and very enjoyable, but I don't think that Natasha, Clint, or Tony would trust Tony to the extent they do if Fury was willing to do a ton of physical/mental harm to someone.

---

"Stop scowling, S.H.I.E.L.D. can always use the assets. You work for us and we'll give you a roof over your head and keep you from Asgard, and whatever else it is that's hunting you.""

WAIT I TOTALLY FORGOT THAT THIS IS THE FIC I WROTE WHERE LOKI BECOMES FURY'S C.I./AGENT

I LOVE THIS FIC

---

Between yet another villain attack and Tony breaking into S.H.I.E.L.D. again, Fury nearly forgets all about it.

TONY

I need the context behind this and yet I have none XD

---

 Despite the fact that his leathers were destroyed and Fury banned him from using magic save truly dire circumstances, he still manages to seem well dressed. Fury's not even certain where the long suit coat came from. He doesn't wear ties from what Fury's seen unless the circumstance permits it.

^^

more ptsd from torture. ties are a little too close to strangulation for him.

---

If Fury hadn't been looking for it he would have missed the slight widening of Loki's eyes and the relief slip into his stance.

^^

I always got the impression that Odin spent a great deal of time yelling at Thor and Loki for doing things wrong. I don't imagine Loki's delivered reports to his father that went over smoothly.

---

"So, you're keeping him?" Coulson questions and Fury nearly jumps in surprise at the voice, turning to look back at the agent currently seated in a chair in his office, the folder that he's compiled on Loki in hand.

I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH! WHY IS COULSON HERE? I DON"T KNOW, BUT IT'S GREAT HE BROKE INTO FURY'S OFFICE AND FURY ISN'T EVEN ANNOYED, JUST RESIGNED. like it happens all the time. (Oh, hill asked him to look into it. okay. makes sense. still glorious)

Also loving that Coulson is literally chill with the guy who stabbed him working with them. Like. Bro. You're a SAINT.

---

He hasn't mentioned it to his higher-ups and plans to keep it that way.

The more they can make it seem like Loki vanished off the face of the Earth the better.

Less things to shove off his tail.

^^

Fury's desperate self explanations for everything are fantastic. Literally he's doing this so the "big bad thing" after Loki doesn't pick up the fact that he didn't die on the street corner.

---

"Fury's rising desire to punch Odin and any other Asgardian (save Thor) in the face kicks up a notch."

^^

yeah if this is not clear from earlier, Fury and Thor are good terms. They've talked a bit about Loki, which is how Fury knew that Loki would make a good agent to begin with.

---

It both strings and numbs him to realize that Loki trusts him enough not to sneak something into the food. Loki stays the rest of the night on the couch, his face twitching with discomfort, but the trust that he presents Fury with is humbling.

^^

This is. Bro. Loki is so untrusting. like deeply at his core. the fact that he did this with fury just really makes me realize how much Loki trusts him. He showed up at Fury's house when he was having an anxiety attack to ask for help. He didn't think Fury would turn him away. He didn't even bother to pick through the food because he trusts fury. Like. whoa.

---

He comes to with an aching back, a sore throat unequal to any other, and the sound of quiet voices talking around him. His mind refuses to really process any of the words their speaking beyond frazzled bits of mumbles, but he recognizes the voices enough that he doesn't panic.

AND FURY TRUSTS THE AVENGERS + LOKI

---

"Thank you." Fury interrupts.

Loki's jaw hangs a little and he stares at him, "What?"

"Thank you." Fury repeats.

Loki's eyebrows look in danger of disappearing into his hairline. "I…?"

Curse you, Odin, and all you other Asgardian idiots.

^^^

Loki saved everyone's lives on Jotunheim and not one (1) person thanked him for keeping them alive. I don't get the impression he gets thanked that often.

---

"Sure, he was shot, but it isn't the worst thing that's ever happened to him before.

He's a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. S.H.I.E.L.D. director.

He has other things to do."

THIS MAN I SWEAR

--

"Loki belongs to Asgard—!"

"And I've elected to ignore that."

^^

probably a better summary of this fic, lol.

---

LINK TO STORY

[shijiujun]

hello!! i was wondering if yifu actually, yknow, meant 'father' like bio-dad? or ?????? idk ive heard others say a yifu in a priest work isnt necessarily a bio-dad???? (yes ths is abt live action scorpion and his yifu 😔😔😔😩)

omg HAHAHA gosh okay this is exactly what i was afraid of when that particular sub came out not that they’re wrong in this particular context but:

拜认父辈的男性长者为父，此人即为义父，属干亲 (from baidu) = Acknowledging (and in historical times you would basically have to kneel and everything) an older male of your father’s generation or age as father and is considered a step-relative if that makes sense. so no blood relation whatsoever. at all. you literally have to recognize and also the to-be-dad has to be like okay i gotchu you my son from now on and then to-be-son probably has to kowtow and everything to new dad you get the picture - like sworn brothers but sworn parents now

so in this case he's a god-dad or godfather! same as 干爹 gan die

the proper term for it would actually be adoptive father BUT in historical times there was no exactly like adoption procedures, and they differentiate between 义父 yi fu and 养父 yang fu (foster father or adoptive father works for yang fu as well) where the latter indicates that this ‘dad’ has to have brought the son up and provided for the son at least, while this requirement is not compulsory under 义父. 

of course logically like in the zhaoxie case of course uncle zhao can be considered almost a 养父 because he prolly did provide for little scorpy but yeah note on the differences

technically? you could call any older dude, no matter if the dude is a few years younger than you (in Sha Po Lang’s case) or like decades (eww Zhao Jing why you gotta gaslight your cute son stop being evil and let him go have fun as Scorpion King) an 义父 yi fu.

which brings me to the point of Sha Po Lang / Winner is King which is upcoming supposedly in May, where the 义父 yi fu Gu Yun and his charge Chang Geng are only a few years apart and everyone was screaming incest and grooming and absolute rubbish and nonsense like that. 

i’m just pre-empting HAHAHA idk if you’ve even heard of Sha Po Lang or read it BUT since the show is upcoming and I expect this to be a recurring question if the subs do include Gu Yun as ‘Father’ - the role is pretty much like acknowledged but he’s not required to bring Chang Geng up, which he actually didn’t. He provided the money and the resources and the safety but he was never around HAHAHAHA and then they get together when Chang Geng is much older and legal and the shenanigans that go with that

so tl:dr not every type of historical period ‘father’ is actually a bio-dad or whatever even - in some cases i’d even read 义父 yi fu as some sort of da-shixiong lmaoooooo okay only in VERY selected cases. because it’s true that an yi fu sometimes is like a dad in name almost like a title without the raising part being brought into the discussion

in zhaoxie case yeah he’s father i suppose but hmmmmmmm

[ajdrawshq]

For the niche ask game: Terra, Repliku, and Namine

FUCK YEAH THANK U OK

I'm gonna skip the smell question bc I literally do not know what to say abt that for anyone

Terra my beloved

• Song that reminds me of them: the only song I've ever associated with him is.. apparently Apocalypse by Sleeperstar according to my spotify playlist for him

• An otp: tbh,, I dont actually ship Terra with anyone

• A notp: anything w the minors and also,,, lowkey Terraqua,,, just bc I dont see them like that but since there's So Much of it its just. Yknow. I'm v sorry Terraqua enjoyers u do u

• Favorite platonic/familial relationships: I enjoy his relationships w Aqua and Ven so much....... AND WITH RIKU their interactions are so good

• Popular headcanon I disagree with: HES NOT THAT DUMB. PLEASE I know its just a fandom joke but I could go on and on abt how the way he was raised and how the total lack of proper guidance fucked him over so so bad but also there was no fucking way for Terra to figure out the stuff happening behind the scenes. Not once does he actually assist the villains without rightfully believing hes doing the right thing, the closest exception I can think of being when he helps Hook bc yeah that dude is pretty shady but he was asked to protect the chest, and only attacked in defense of it - something that is a defining trait of Terra, and his whole job is to protect the light which is vague as fuck so can u really blame him for thinking some of it was in a chest for some reason, plus Peter Pan is kind of a bitch so u can't really fault him for that fight anyway. And don't talk to me abt the sleeping beauty incident bc that wasn't his fault (although I admit its kind of funny that he just,, left) AND the entire Xehanort arc. Dont even get me started if Eraqus just let Terra know that Xehanort is up to shit instead of telling Aqua to spy on him and TELLING TERRA TO FIND XEHANORT WITHOUT ANY CONTEXT WHATSOEVER ALLOWING XEHANORT TO MANIPULATE HIM WITHOUT ANY TRUE HINTS ABOUT HIS MOTIVES we could've avoided like at least half the shit that went down in this game I swear I would've killed this old man with my bare hands. Anyway what was the question

• The position they sleep in: he takes up like 3/4s of any bed without trying i just know it.. and he seems like he'd be very warm. Sleeping next to him is absolute hell in the summer

• A crossover I'd love to see them in: does kingdom hearts itself count as a crossover considering all the d*sney and ff characters.. I just wanna see more Terra

• My favorite outfit theyve worn: how DARE u make me choose between his glorious flowy pants that I desperately want for myself and one of the best armor sets in all of kh.. but I'm going with his keyblade armor purely bc of that one shot thats just like. Terrass. Yknow the one

Repliku

• Song that reminds me of them: oh god I feel so strongly about this. I have a whole (very self indulgent and incomprehensible) playlist for them but I'm gonna say specifically Last Of Me by CircusP

• An otp: ok I wanna say Replinami. But. I've grown so attached to the idea of Repliku n Roxas being together its ridiculous

• A notp: w any adults obviously, and Riku and Replitwo. They're Siblings

• Favorite platonic/familial relationships: on that note I'm very very soft for their sibling relationships w those two. Whenever I think abt the kh3 Riku n Repli scenes I cry. Also love the idea of them being friends w Xion and Vanitas. And Sora..

• Popular headcanon I disagree with: are there,,, really any popular headcanons abt Repliku? I can barely find any for them to begin with lmao but I CAN say they're not cishet. Bi transfem Repliku my beloved

• The position they sleep in: considering how their life has been plus how touch starved they are, they usually curl up into a ball and/or hold something close to them

• A crossover I'd love to see them in: does my idea of showing them Pokemon The First Movie: Mewtwo Strikes Back as a form of therapy and/or enlightenment count. Ok but i actually wanna see them interact with Mewtwo for better or worse i think it'd be fun

• My favorite outfit theyve worn: I've talked enough abt the darksuit for this one to be obvious I think

Naminé

• Song that reminds me of them: ooooh this is a hard one...... I'm gonna say Worlds Apart by Seven Lions

• An otp: Namixi and Replinami are both very very good

• A notp: any adults, n im not rly a fan of her being w any of the destiny trio or Roxas

• Favorite platonic/familial relationships: on that note again i Do enjoy her general relationships with the above four.. and I like her dynamic with Axel/Lea tbh. And the idea of her and Terra being friends is vv neat. And I think she'd have a funky friendship w Vani. She has so many friends!! good for her, good for her

• Popular headcanon I disagree with: I cant think of anything in particular I disagree with I just think she should be allowed to kill people (read: Ansem TW)

• The position they sleep in: similar to Repliku, but she prefers being surrounded by something (whether it be pillows, weighted blanket, etc)

• A crossover I'd love to see them in: I think Naminé, Lunafreya from ffxv and Lillie from pkmn should meet.. they're sisters now

• My favorite outfit theyve worn: theres uh. Not a lot of options here (but all the fan made outfits ppl make for her are so epic and cool i love em)

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Yknow, the importance of consistency over realism in worldbuilding sounds interesting. Would you mind explaining that?(If not, that's perfectly fine)

Of course!

So, there’s a tumblr post going around that hits on this, too, and they start with I think the easiest way to explain this in one sentence: When people complain about something being “unrealistic”, what they usually mean is “I couldn’t believe it in the context of the story”.

In sci-fi or fantasy, you can do nearly anything, provided that you are consistent with it. You can have your world-building make as little sense as you want, really, as long as your characters and settings all consistently reflect that world-building. 

For instance, if your characters are human and you break their bones, imprison them for months, or whip them - all of these things have known, consistent ways of changing and affecting the human psyche and body. If you are not consistent with that, it will break immersion.

However, if your character is alien and they don’t have calcium-based bone structure, you could change what broken bones look like to those bodies! But then make that change consistent and constant for that alien race!

Let’s see...

Um, another example:

If you set up a magic system, it needs to affect everyone in the same way or you’ll break suspension of disbelief - not because of the magic, but because the rules aren’t applying to everyone the same.

One issue I brought up with Shades of Magic that really wrecked my immersion is that Delilah Bard, one of the main characters, uses magic for the first time on a ship in the middle of the sea. The author has noted, more than once by this point, that no one can manipulate the ocean because the amount of magic needed to do so is so vast. No one.

Not the other powerful magicians called Antari in the story, NO ONE can do this. Not our main character, a magician who has spent most of his life immersed in study. Not the pirate captain whose ship Lila is on, who can wield nearly every kind of magic AND has a secret side power besides.

Not the pirates who USE water magic, who have spent their lives on the ship.

Nobody. Can. Use. Magic. To. Control. The. Ocean.

But of course Delilah Bard can, once without even trying.

(Arguably, the not-even-trying scene is actually pretty funny, but it still breaks the concept of how magic works in the book)

This is meant to be a “look at how wonderful and powerful and super cool this character is” moment, but instead it made me put the book down. I picked it up again because I loved the story (and was sort of hoping literally any female character but Lila would survive to the end and also get characterization), but it really struck me as deeply inconsistent and broke my suspension of disbelief.

Because the author broke their own rules for how magic works multiple times to make Lila Bard cool.

(For the record, Shades of Magic is a rollicking good story and if you don’t want to read the series, PLEASE at least read the first book, it’s so fucking good. I go hard at issues with the series because I WAS so enamored of it, I read the whole series in like two weeks, was sometimes up until 2 AM trying to finish the last pages)

So, that’s a good example of world-building that, even if ‘unrealistic’, works just fine in the context of the story until it’s violated on a whim.

There is no reason whatsoever for the rule violation to happen when it does. It doesn’t really serve in any significant way. It’s just “Lila Bard is better than everyone at everything, even stuff she doesn’t know”. That will hurt reader immersion!

If you find that happening but you need that violation to serve your story - in Shades of Magic, Lila becoming a powerful magician is an important point, and the amount of time that passes is incredibly short and compressed so either way it all had to happen very very quickly - then you need to seed some explanation or hint or showcase of that exception to the rule elsewhere in the story.

“She’s just better” is not an explanation. You need to have something that weaves into your world-building. 

If you find yourself falling into an inconsistency like that, you need to pull it out - OR you make it consistent with everything else. If that inconsistency is necessary, or it electrifies you, then you don’t have to take it out! But you do need to have it fit in with the world-building rules you’ve already established, or you’ll break the immersion of the reader.

The world itself is inconsistent in a lot of ways. People are inconsistent, fickle and uncertain. We change. Worlds change. But if you’ve set up a very specific rule about how your world works, ONLY break that rule if you’ve set the story up to support it.

Also, this is tumblr and you’re writing for free on the internet, so don’t drive yourself to stress over it! There are some inconsistencies with Bram and Ryan through Danny’s story and how the magic works there, because I published the pieces as I went. If I collected them together, condensed and published a book... I would do a LOT of reworking of those early chapters to give you hints and a better understanding of what I planned. I would build the inconsistencies into the creation of the story so that they were consistent with my world-building.

I am trying to do a little better with the mer story - this is my first attempt at writing a largely linear narrative - but there may be some inconsistencies there, too, for the same reason.

(I’ve had three people note the inconsistency in my mammalian mer having scales on his tail, but that’s actually consistent with my world-building for this story... I just haven’t given away why yet. If I went back to do the beginning again, I might add in more clues than I already have)

Don’t stress yourself over it, but generally keep in mind that nothing has to be all that realistic, it just has to be consistent within the context of the story.

[stray-tori]

An Innocent Sin & the good gay flashback ft. my descent into madness

I wasn’t sure if I should post this but I mostly want it archived so here we go. This is from like,, September?

So. “An Innocent Sin” is a dumpster fire unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I don’t remember why I decided to read it. maybe I was crazy. Either way... I read it. It soon started to touch upon (very very outlandish) sexual abuse which I thought was interesting. (the angst, not so much some of the wack circumstances surrounding it)

ANYWAY. at some point... we have a flashback. And not just that. It has a gay character.

And it turns rly gay. which mind you, is still in a het smut manwha (that has a “gay” side couple, but still!)

And it destroyed me.

For those who want to read it because I genuinely think the flashback is a decent bit, it’s all the bonus chapters between chapter 77 and 78 I think. There’s a part before that too, but idk where exactly anymore. (It’s on lezhin! or your platform of choosing)

I don’t THINK you’ll need any other knowledge to get the flashback bit? but it’s been a while.

Below the cut (rip mobile users), you can read all of my amazing reactions (all of these were text messages, for context - but I took most of the replies and convos about other things out). Post is also tagged as long post. :))

(i’m serious, this is fucking long)

__________

Here I am. Liking the gay flashback character. Feck. Main dude is still straight but idk it's cute pff

This is a mess. The girl white hair likes, likes black hair, maybe, but thinks white hair is attractive

What just happened is sth I'd like to know too pff He's so cute tho omg. Watch me melt Can we stay in this flashback before everything got perverted af and before white hair gets assaulted all the time I would send an eyebrow emote if I could Context: he's asking he says it again

Ik it's not mutual but loookkk he's so sweet. He's kinda rude in present time, can't we stay in this flashback forever

I never asked for gay, never expected gay but I got gay

This story is trash why am I still reading it shdhhd

He caught his mom cheating. And now she's forcing him to watch??? What is thissss Well adoptive mom But still sudhdidu what Bitch how dare YOU exist

Save my babyyyy

Yay sister that's not yet a rapist to the rescueee

This flashback is actually just nicer in every way let's just stay here This is a super long flashback btw Idek anymore what triggered it

Okay I think I'm gonna make the sensible decision and let this dumpster fire rest and just go sleep

It was very wild. I kinda wanna see white hair get therapy but it has 90 chapters and I'm at like 30... So I'm very concerned this is gonna be very dragged out. Idek if it's even finished ahahsududi - but I do kinda wanna see where it goes and see more cute Noah (white hair) so. Here we are.

yeahhh like i was down for the sexual abuse angst but then the mother killed the adoptive son's mother bc the dad had a thing for her?? and it was someone a person studying with white hair knew and so he's investigating and I'm like how did this turn into a crime organisation kind of plot

hhhhhhh i... i appreciate these horny things also tackling abuse but it always kind of gives me weird vibes to have both, especially when its very horny. And when people are horny to people who've been abused. Idk but I'd assume... you might try NOT to tie them up if they're frequently bondaged during their assaults. I'm just.... disjdksdj hello?? am i weird?? why are they fine with it???

also this manwha is so wild, theres this murder mystery investigation thing and then theres just a couple doing honry stuff sprinkled in between and i'm like OKAY

they rescued a guy in their basement and he's understandably very traumatized and they're trying to question him cut to our main couple trying bondage which i still dont understand bECAUSE HE'S A RAPE VICITM WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS the ones questioning arent the main couple of course but idshkjds

like im glad he's somehow okay with all this horny stuff despite his trauma and im glad he can be happy and have a nice relationship but DO WE NEED THIS MUCH OF IT he's very cute tho

i like that even when i try other stuff lezhin recommends me it still has large amount of gay in it

[mei: i mean... that's pretty great, if you ask me]

I mean I agree, I'm enjoying the gay eheheh these tonal whiplashes there's not even that much white space between the panels fhjd nvm it just turned horny goddamn it can there be 1 chapter without fucking? okay, there were the flashbacks

WE ARE BACK IN FLASHBACKS but im not getting the gay relationship, sad

OH WAIT AM I GETTING GAY COMFORT bc thats very good too

OH NNOOO this turned sad very quickly

I'M SORRY IM SPAMMING BUT THIS IS JUST ANGSTY

I'M :((((

different species confirmed

I rly like them :((( I like the current girl too but it's just..... very horny with her. the flashbacks are nice [current tori edit: she’s very unloyal idk why i said I liked her] im weird HHHHH RIPPP 

someone help him he looks so saddddd

not sure if thats the most healthy relationship but I'LL TAKE IT

AWWW black hair's mom cooks mild food for them bc Noah can't eat spicy food :((( im soft

PFFF

I LOVE THE FLASHBACKS :(((

awww

i feel like theyve done much more bonding than noah's current relationship. I mean yes I think its cute when she comforts him, too, but they rarely do anything besides be horny together

OH OH THEY'RE KISSING

best buildup, honestly

the position is hornier than I'd like later here goes hope it stays cute

D-did someone just respect the word "stop"??? I am amazed

i think you might uh. have some trauma stuff too so yknow

Dohye is a little dramatic in his reassurance but it's all rly cute so I'm :(( I like them a lot pls stay like this getting invested in flashbacks is always like: ik it wont stay but pls stay like this

hELP

chapters ending in "i wanna touch him" is never good. I'm scared. Oh okay he didnt do anything. PHEW. He's already better than the girl, can't they just end up together lmao

[Noah was jealous]

w-why do you look so evil dohye haukdhjs

oh. oh no. the horny is starting. pls dont... just be cute forever

DOHYE NO YOU WERE SO DECENT WHY ARE YOU LYING ABOUT KOREAN TRADITIONS TO GET HIM TO DO STUFF HORNY STUFF TOO NO PLS STOP I JUST- WHEEE TvT the manwha is actually less visually horny in the flashbacks but im not sure if its bc its BL which isnt rly the genre of the manwha or if its bc they're still kids basically, which... I'd respect the latter, tho I'd prefer it to be like this constantly haha

okay. he's not respecting stop anymore, but it's also more of embarrassed nature more than "no i dont want this stop" so maybe i can forgive it. Still losing points, but he hugged him and it was sweet so HHHHHHHHHHH NOT SURE HOW I SHOULD JUDGE THIS SITUATION

They [Noah’s family] forbid him to visit his friends house I AM DEVASTATED

understandable they're a rapist, a fucked up murderer mother and a father with a thing for younger women so

tho he dont know any of that but yknow he's so pretty just fucking end me on the spot

hooo

they are boyfriends and ik from the future that his sister is gonna ruin it allll she has those drugs that make visual imaginations feel like they rly happened to the person (dont know if thats real but holy fuck its terrifying) and she's used it before to say that Noah assualted her. and im pretty sure shes gonna use it again bc there was a panel of Noah remembering Dohye being uhhhh intimate with her and thats why Noah began to hate him and im so sad im not ready for it. bc he's denied it in the future and i honestly couldnt see it happening even before that or she drugged Dohye, i guess thats a possibility too

[current tori: oh girl, it’s neither and it’s wack]

which if, btich you gonna die even more enough rambling, more reading. this makes me so sad but also spicy

on the manwha note, he thinks Noah doesnt like his family bc he's adopted and doesnt feel comfy which....... fair enough i suppose. and he's so cute im gonna melt just looK AT THIS 

SHUt UP, IM GONNA CRY

OH MY GODDDD he ate like ice and gum and all that, and Dohye assumed it was bc of the more spicy food and got rl worried, but he was just trying to get the smell out of his breath bc he wanted to kiss him ukhsdjs HOW CAN YOU BE SO CUTE HELLLOOOOOOOOO

look at them. LOOK AT mY BABIESSSS

how am i ever gonna care about the main couple again aww he-he wanted to go to the same highschool as him :((( im sad bc i know its not gonna happennnnnn

[mei: also at this point, you're literally never gonna care about them. i don't even know the main couple that well and i honestly don't care about them whatsoever.]

WAIT NO they're actually going to the same school awww ik it wont take long until sister fucks it up for them but for now theyre so sweet ohmygodddd

cant he move in with them, fuck his family honestly

dohye he's not a fucking pokemon iukhsdjs

oh. its. turning horny i am displeased with this development but i guess its natural for their relationship however COULD YOU DO IT AT HOME AND NOT IN SOME DUSTY SMALL ROOM how do ppl do this i like that the comments too are just "... is anyone still carng about the other girl?" sakjds

this is the best 3 panels in existence.

h-he just took your hand dohye idk what to tell you

[mei: "you blush at everything i do" god if that isn't me, idk what is]

awww its cute dohye is getting bonus points bc he invited Noah over while his mom wasnt home, they watched some sexual stuff and he DIDNT try to do anything what is this where can i get more of this

"well im not okay"

MY BABIESSSS 

they still didnt do much btw they're just kinda exploring and its honestly nice TvT I dont want this to ever endddd

[Dohye sees Noah’s sister and approaches her] N O

N OOOO

this is the starttttt of something.......... TERRIBLEEEE 

:((( babyyyy

I AM EMO

Noah was drugged im sure. hes having dreams and waking up in pain and the sister is asking doyhe over I DONT LIKE THISSSSSSS OH HE DECLINED

OKAY OKAY he saw him with her again but it was from behind and im not sure if it rly happened??? oh no this is terrible. Noah :((( poor child

i am so emo about this

[reminder he’s been abused TvT]

[the sister: “Don’t you want to know why?”]

i will. murder someone he called to ask her to delete his number btw what is this manwha but this is just gonna make it that more tragic when whatever happens that breaks them apart :(((

he's such a good bf but Noah just wont TELL him his side I'M SO SAD

I AM SO SAD

No

NO

It cant end im actually tearing up nooo you were so cuteeee and happpyyy

[*sister is telling dohye to come to the gym hall*]

what else is she gonna do she already teared [current tori: ahem... T O R E] them apart THAT'S NOT DOYhE. THATS NEVER HIM. OH MY GOD. is it a look alike??? damn, she's dedicated to just. ruining it, huh

I’M

I’M SO SAD

now he's switching SCHOOLS NO NOOOOO how will i ever find happiness againnnn NO they're misunderstanding further they're not talking properly i mean i get it but oh my god

I'M :((( 

NO NOOOO pls make up in the future at least omg he tried to clear it up tooo ahhh i dont even have hopes for them getting back together but i just i want them to clear it up im crying first manwha to make me cry and it's this dumpster fire ahaha maybe a little too bc it kinda hit a little close to home i guess but goddamnn ittttt they were so cuteee and so happy and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OH NO. Noahs getting drugged and assaulted. And he's realizing it happened before, he just forgot. I am. so sad it's not horny drawn either which i appreciate but MY HEART NO

N O DONT YOU DARE MAKE THIS WORSE

Im. gonna cry more 

Doyhe kept an eye on him im so emo :(( but he thought he was doing well enough and gave up.... Im im so sad no i want you to make up and get back together its all just a stupid........... MEHHHH will i ever find sth like this flashback again

[mei: p-probably not, no]

i am so devasted i dont even wanna go back to the main couple just fucking. i want this relationship back :(((( but i guess the investigation might end up somewhere so hhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhh the baker manwha had a similar flashback feeling so. i just gotta find more of that haha

BUT THIS WAS SO SAD??? im so emo

[Dohye got kidnapped // the flashback commentary stops here but I think my descend into madness is pretty funny too]

OH YEAH THAT HAPPENED. THE FLASHBACK WAS SO LONG I FORGOT. NOOOO SAVE HIM. JESUS CHRIST PLS JUST ONE GOOD THING

its. actually rly smart to have another, more focused on them flashback, before the arc where he gets kidnapped by the rapist murder household so. good job. from a meta perspective but also NO but also. maybe theres hope for them making up at least after all :(((

[main couple kissing] this is. very weird now. but im glad he has someone, he deserves it but dohyeeeee

and switching to sex, YET AGAIN now i wanna see this EVEN LESS THAN I DID BEFOREEEE it's even.... a threesome now with one of the other characters why are you like this why can't you be. like in the flashback i am so upset HAHHHHH WHEEEZEEEE

I am just stop fucking jesus christ PLEASE I DONT WANNA SEE IT ANYMOREEEEE

im just stop the horny pls just tell me who that new guy is and why doyhe likes him so much

[mei: this manwha is a fucking mess but at least we got your lovely commentary out of it]

dhsuksj thanks i feel honored at least i got cute BL out of it before everything went [back] to shit

[mei: THAT TOO]

[...]

tbh im getting kinda mad about doyhe... i dont... feel like he'd just fall instantly for a guy who looks like Noah... but eh not my character

i just want closure for dohye at this point, fuck everything else ... not literally pls theres already too much of that

pls get it together for like 1 chapter is the investigation even still happening i am so confused save dohye plEASE wait what i have less than 10 episodes left Dont tell me this shit isnt even wrapped up yet

[Dohye is having a breakdown over the Noah double not coming to see him anymore]

yeah i this... doesnt feel like Dohye... at all... Even when Noah was rejecting him he was just kind of... taking it with some humor and maybe he was a little desperate and risky sometimes but... oh well... i do want him to get better but... im having a hard time believeing this development??? he never seemed overly anxious or anything. but who knows what else they did to him. Sister can still go fuck off tho

[...]

i mean. i liked the flashbacks a lot honestly??? it stayed simple and focused on the dynamics and less trying to balance smut with murder plots

[dm partner: NO THAT'S WHAT I MEAN LIKE CLEARLY THE AUTHOR CAN MAKE A GOOD STORY SO I'M JUST... CONFUSED AS TO WHY THEY DIDN'T STICK WITH SOME SOFT, FLUFFY BL ROMANCE MANWHA AND DECIDED TO MAKE WHATEVER THIS IS INSTEAD ]

okay i dont care bc dohye is currently getting assaulted nobody asked for this why i just. this is terrible. he was... so sweet. he doesnt deserve this. nobody does of course but jesus christ pls someone save him at least its not horny visually, one saving grace

ah... the assult is back to being depicted horny-ly thank you for nothing

[... removed some general confusion about the plot]

YES. SOME SHIP FOOD.

i am. suffering i mean i cant stop but GOD

okay so apparantly. the sister. has just an arsenal of people who look like other people Dohye, then Noah... and even Noah's GF??? this is ridiculous??

one good message 

why 

did you feel the need to add that [actual tired rage]

im gonna die this manwha is gonna kill me im laughing but im suffering oh hes arrested great and thats the end and the last update was in january of this year

why AS IN NOAH IS ARRESTED nobody who actually did anything is arrested What is this why is this AHHH I at least wanted the complete-ness of finishing this but now I'M JUST SUFFERING

[ mei: I MEAN TO BE FAIR I'D BE SUFFERING TOO BC JUST... WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE?? MANY QUESTIONS?? AND MANY CONCERNS BC THIS MANWHA IS JUST... AN EXPERIENCE ]

its an experience allright WELL

_______________

yup that’s it.

in my head, in a twist of events Dohye and Noah make up and are actual endgame. Something like that must exist out there but I won’t ask because it’d destroy the surprise and ruin the point.

That’s it.

Have a nice day.

[bigskydreaming]

LOL so I’m gonna say something that a lot of people are gonna HATE, because of what it does to the usually preferred canons or headcanons of how Dick goes to live with Bruce after his parents die.

But there is one more reason that I prefer the juvie origin for Dick, beyond what I’ve said in the past, and its that....

There is no possible way for Dick to go straight to living with a single billionaire in his early twenties RIGHT after his parents died, or even just a week or two after that....unless Bruce abused the FUCK out of the system himself, in order to get Dick in his house.

And I don’t see any reason why Bruce would go to the lengths of bribes or calling in ‘favors’ that would be needed to expedite the OBSCENE amount of bureaucratic red tape he would need to navigate before any judge would let him become a minor’s sole guardian - especially considering he undoubtedly had no paperwork or had undergone any of the interviews or visitations or hoops demanded of prospective foster parents BEFORE they take in their first kid....

Unless he really truly had reason to believe that every viable alternative to him greasing the wheels like he HAD to have, in order to get Dick there with any kind of swiftness.....like, I honestly don’t see a mid-twenties Bruce Wayne, with his myriad of issues and his own self-image, honestly thinking that he’s SUCH a better candidate for taking care of this traumatized eight year old kid that he’s going to cut any corner he possibly can to speed up the process....unless he was utterly convinced the alternatives were so much worse.

Like say, if he found out that the system had decided the best thing for Dick was to be tossed into juvie.

I mean....the process for fostering a kid, becoming a legal guardian, ANY which way you go about that....its not as simple as just, signing a few papers. No matter WHO you are, UNLESS you leverage that ‘who you are’ bit to get people to step on the gas to a degree far beyond anything they’re supposed to allow. 

It takes TIME. 

And even in scenarios wherein Bruce takes Dick in as a kind of witness protection while Zucco is on the loose - first off, that’s far more unrealistic than even the juvie take because like....the police HAVE protocols for that sort of thing. They don’t just hand over a kid to the first civilian who steps up and volunteers.

Honestly, the canons and headcanons where Bruce just ‘arranges’ for Dick to come stay with him almost immediately after his parents’ murder....like, they honestly skeeve me even more than the juvie thing, because of how matter of fact people are about it? Y’know? Like nobody seems to see anything wrong with the idea that a billionaire just, with zero prior experience or qualifications just says “oh I’ll take this boy home with me” and everybody goes “yes sir, well you’re a billionaire so if you want him, you got him,” like....it treats Dick like a toy. That’s not how things work, and its not how things SHOULD work....and most importantly IMO, I can’t fathom Bruce thinking that he’s the best option for Dick to such a degree that he’d break all the rules in order to get custody that fast. For that matter, if he really could arrange all that, in spite of the way the process is supposed to go, then shouldn’t it beg the question “why couldn’t Bruce pull similar strings to ensure Dick could stay with the circus, the people there who clearly loved him and wanted him to stay?”

And honestly, I kinda feel like the way people have reduced that whole process to the shorthand of “well Bruce is the good guy and we know with the benefit of hindsight that he’s Dick’s dad in every way that counts, so of course Dick has to end up living with him, so why NOT quicken the process to just a few days”....like, I feel like that actually contributes a lot, albeit unintentionally, to this tendency to take Dick for granted both in universe and out of universe, because it lends this air of like...’only the destination matters, the end result.’ Which is usually how Dick gets screwed in most cases....because people only ever look at the end result of his stories, the last position he ends up with...and completely fail to consider any of the steps in between that happened along the way, and all the things that might have happened alongside each of those steps, that lends important context to his final position in a given story.

Like this idea that well Dick has to end up with Bruce, that’s the part that matters, so its not really all that important how or why.....I feel like that really has a lot to do with how it so often gets just accepted at face value that Dick’s the one in the wrong for keeping his distance from Bruce at later points in life, or for leaving the manor, or for digging in his heels with stuff....because it all loops back into this mindset that “everyone knows Bruce loves Dick, the best place for Dick is in the manor with Bruce, ergo, everything else - like how he comes to live with Bruce or his reasons for storming out of the manor - are semantics, irrelevant details, etc.”

Except...they’re not.

And so again, as an example like....you can’t really just cut out the entire process of Dick coming to live with Bruce...because it really, truly, EXTREMELY doesn’t make SENSE for Bruce to get custody that fast without having SOME kind of leverage.....and it similarly doesn’t make SENSE for him to think he’s so clearly the most qualified person to take in this traumatized kid (no matter how much he empathized with him), that he would circumvent the system he USUALLY is so militaristic about upholding as much as he possibly can, while still being a vigilante. And that last bit sure doesn’t feel in character for Bruce, from that particular angle.

UNLESS.

Unless he’d discovered the system had MASSIVELY FUCKED UP with Dick, and he no longer trusted it with him whatsoever....and so THEN he took matters into his own hands, and did whatever necessary to get custody of Dick ASAP - realistically helped along by the MASSIVE leverage Bruce would have had at his disposal if he threatened to publicize what they’d done to this eight year old orphan.

THAT, to me, feels far more realistic, and far more in character for Bruce....and it at no point takes for granted any of Dick’s own personal journey along the way, or renders it irrelevant or an unnecessary detail.

Idk, maybe its just me, but I’ve always been super uncomfortable with the level of detail fandom puts into fleshing out Jason and Tim’s backstories (and with precedent established by his taking in Dick, any of his later kids would have had very expedited custody arrangements....but that makes it MORE likely that the FIRST kid and the process of gaining custody of him would include hoops that later kids’ stories wouldn’t), while at the same time, hollowing out Dick’s origin story to a barebones outline of ‘well his parents died and then this and this happened and then he lived with Bruce and became Robin and happily ever after until he hit his teenage years and developed an attitude problem.’

Like, there’s just something very....unsettling about how much fandom has romanticized the idea that this billionaire with a quite frankly TERRIBLE public reputation, like this is a guy who has DEDICATED himself to appearing totally irresponsible as far as the rest of the world can tell.....and just....being like ‘oh hey, no big deal about this guy of all guys just being like hey I see you have an eight year old orphan there, howzabout I take him off your hands for you’...and fandom’s like....swoon. Y’know? I mean yes, WE know Bruce is a superhero, WE know that years of cute Batman and Robin and father and son bonding would lie ahead of those two after that.....but...ANY scenario in which Gotham is like....yeah we see no problems with just letting Brucie Wayne take a traumatized orphan home to live in his big old manor with him....like..yeah. 

I mean, even as I’m typing this out, I’m thinking that yeah, there is something to be said for streamlining the process in the name of escapism, so that there’s a smoother, easier transition for this poor kid and he doesn’t have to go through so much.....BUT like at the same time, its one thing when we’re talking cute fluff stories and others when the angst is clearly a focal point of the story and yet the story STILL romanticizes this....Daddy Warbucks swoops in to save little Orphan Annie and like, this is definitively treated as like....nobody should be raising objections to this or being like wait a second....

Because the latter feels less like its being done in the name of escapism and more, like....in that sense I was talking about where it all loops back to how often Dick gets reduced to a prop within his own narratives like...things happen because they HAVE to happen, not because like....he’s a person going through things that inform the choices he makes and the things that happen from there, yknow?

Or maybe its one of those things where its like....I feel like that story is one that’s meant for a different time, at this point? Like, there WAS a time when the billionaire swooping in to take the poor orphan off to live in a manor was the kind of escapism people were looking for, but we do live in a different time now where I think most of us would agree like...wait, a decision that big deserves more than being treated like the billionaire just stops in to shop around for an orphan to accessorize with, kinda?

Idk, I feel like I’m not explaining this well, the precise reasons this disturbs me so much, which is why I’ve never posted about this particular angle before, but its been on my mind a lot lately, so maybe it makes more sense than I think it does here? LOL.

*Shrugs* Idk, I just honestly do feel in the long run and in the big picture, Dick’s personhood is ironically better preserved in the scenario where he was definitively stripped of it by an uncaring system and thrown into the last place he should’ve been....with Bruce then, upon discovering this, moving heaven and hell to see that personhood or awareness of personhood, more accurately, restored to Dick, no matter what it took, even if he had to do it himself. Because again, I also think that there’s a heeeeell of a lot of hubris in Bruce thinking that he was equipped to care for this kid right off the bat....and its not even that I don’t think he is (because I think Bruce really was a good father to Dick in their early years, and the majority of their problems arose later, when Bruce was unable to reconcile that this kid he’d once thought himself so alike to was growing into a man with his own ideas and choices that Bruce couldn’t understand or relate to). 

Again, I think its more that I don’t truly see BRUCE actually having that degree of confidence that he’s truly a good fit for taking care of Dick, not being more worried that all his issues and his focus as Batman would be a deterrent....unless he had an external kick in the ass that made him feel like no, I don’t trust this job to anyone else at this point, so I HAVE to be up to the task myself, its that simple.

[sundaynightnovels]

favourite line tag

i was tagged by @mouwwie​ a while back and this sounds fun! (also, your line on ruining a man’s self-esteem? love it)

Rules: Do you ever write a line that just feels so right? Pick five of your favorite lines you’ve written and share them. They can be recent or years old, doesn’t matter. Then tag five people.

to add another layer of challenge (or because i’m a lazy ass, choose your poison), i’m going to try to do this... 

dun dun dun

without referring to anything but my horrendous memory!! 

(there might be like... blatant inaccuracies in this that might probably change the whole game but yknow, don’t mind me. i’ve been festering in this heat for too long, my mind isn’t thinking straight)

1) How much pain must the clouds be carrying, to let their tears fall with such wretched abandon?

this is from my current wip like all things out of season, and i have to clarify... shou’s the one who said this line. with respect to the rain (obviously). that he’s seeing for the first time in a long time. without any context whatsoever. in the middle of conversation. which, yknow, was not in the least bit relevant to the topic of rain or clouds or pain. that’s just the sort of person he is.

oh no i’m trying but can’t think of anythingl kajsldkjsaldjask gimme a mo

2) In the dying of the sun he is alone at last; the final rays of light teeter at the edge of the horizon, and alive under its swansong, he smiles.

okay i cheated, i couldn’t really remember this line in full and i ... referred to the original document.  so this is the first line from shou’s story in the companion novel which, tbh, i’m not sure if it’s going to remain (because that entire front part might be scrapped & re-written) but yea. sounds poetic, might delete later. who knows? anyway i’m officially giving up. my memory is too poor for this charade. i’m referring to the doc now!

3) There’s no beauty in death

there’s a bunch of stuff before this that makes this a stronger line, but well, this tags calls only for one line! && it’s said by Jun !

okay i can’t think of anymore, so with this, i’m going to tag three people @focusdumbass @kidsarentallwrite @inexorableblob !

[faelapis]

mangry replied to your post “steven universe is nominated for the emmys once again!”

i mean i hope they win n everything but like ???? how is jungle moon gonna win when mr greg lost to a shit adventure time episode

i think the problem with nominating “mr greg” is that it required way too much context. watching it without knowing what happened is... yknow, it’s pretty! it sounds good! but it’d still be a little emotionally hollow. 

yes, the emmys play favorites. yes, name recognition matters, and they’re good at awarding what they’ve already awarded, but... still, steven universe is a show that often requires context! they slowly set up the world so you understand the characters and relationships, and that helps you appreciate the emotional punches when they come. 

“now i’ve got to be there for her son!” 

this line kills me. it’s just... perfectly delivered. but would you really feel it, if you didn’t know pearl’s history with rose, or with steven? the episode never explains that. it assumes you’ve watched the show. 

the emmy judges, for the most part, haven’t.

in 2015, i didn’t like “jake the brick” of adventure time. i understood why it won, however: you need no context whatsoever to get sucked into it. it’s just nature narration over a storm, there’s no prior buildup. 

adventure time, more than any other nominee, understands the value of no-context episodes -  they’re doing the same thing this year. “ring of fire” takes you through a journey of this elephant lady’s marriages, and has a lot of like, facebook meme quotes about life. they could easily win again. 

which brings us to “jungle moon”.

do i think it’s a good episode? yes. 

do i think it requires context to make sense? some of it, sure.

do i think it stands a chance? actually... yeah, i’m gonna be hopeful!

you might not get why stevonnie talks to themselves if you don’t know what fusion is, and you might not understand why they’re in space... but unlike the core of “mr greg”, the previous context isn’t the point. the best parts are what we, the audience, are introduced to with stevonnie. 

the things that hit me about “jungle moon” are the build of tension and surrealism throughout the dream, and the creativity of the moon itself. 

you don’t need context to appreciate those things - we’re reacting to this new world WITH stevonnie. we are introduced to concepts AS they happen. things are seeded and rewarded in-episode: after the dream, you get the eerie implications of the colony in the sky. the blob bird pops up several times to defend its child. 

in the episode’s centerpiece - the dream - slowly realizing that That’s Not Your Mom happens naturally and gradually. seeing the spaceships fly over the rooftops, hearing dr. maheswaran threaten to shatter someone... even if you don’t know yellow diamond, you understand that something is wrong. Very Wrong. it doesn’t take much guesswork to realize that stevonnie is ACTUALLY seeing through the eyes of the “bad guys”. 

the dream has two great “oh shit” moments: when we see yellow’s eyes, and when pink punches the glass wall. because we just met pink (as far as we know), the episode makes sure we understand how she feels, and why. it hits. 

even the character development stuff works, because this is pink diamond’s first (historical-chronological) appearance. her motivations are clear, and we’ve seen enough of stevonnie’s easy-going and unassuming demeanor throughout the episode that we slowly realize - along with the logic of the dream - that they’re not themselves anymore. that transition is effortless, and i think (hope) it’s something anyone can appreciate, along with the clever imagery, symbolism, and creativity of it all.

moreover, this is steven universe’s fourth nomination, and they’ve been nominated back-to-back for as long as it’s been a recognized hit series. name recognition does matter, as we’ve talked about. i think the emmys enjoy feeling like they’re awarding consistency, making new shows “work for it” until they’ve proven their first nomination wasn’t a fluke. 

SU has done that, now. it could easily be their turn. 

[beaniegara]

11 Questions

tagged both by @yaboybergara​ and @ricky-goldsworth​ which is great because that gives me 22 questions mwahhahaha thank you folks!! <3 

RULES

1. always post the rules

2. answer the questions given by the person who tagged you

3. write 11 questions of your own

4. tag 11 people you want to get to know better (or however many you want)

now, see, I don’t know what to ask........ so I’m gonna be a little shit and tag folks to pick 11 of these 22 questions and answer them too. nini and gray pls don’t sue me for reusing your questions, thank fdgkfndgfdsk I’m tagging @kaylotta, @queerunsolved, @haunted-gays, @thatmademadej, and @i-am-ghost-proof-baby <3 if yall wanna do it, of course. no pressure.

this is incredibly long (and uncomfortably honest). let’s go lesbians let’s go

first, nini’s questions:

1. How many pets have you had in your life?

one. I’ve always wanted them but my mom and I have always lived in tiny apartments and had no way to care for a pet so it wasn’t until I was 17 that we adopted a kitten!! his name was merlin and he was the laziest, moodiest lil ball of fluff I’ve ever met. I.. had to give him away a year later because we moved to a place even smaller that wouldn’t allow pets so long story short I’m scarred for life and don’t think I can ever take any more pets without feeling guilty to my bone 

this is merlin btw I love him with all my heart and he now lives in a farm. as far as I know anyway.. :(

2. Do you believe in destiny? Why?

mmm interesting question. weird, metaphysical theories aside, I don’t believe anything is set in stone per se, but I do believe that some things are just... meant to be? in a way? for example, you can’t tell me ryan and shane weren’t meant to be friends and find each other in such an unlikely place as they did. one of my mottos, completely stripped from context because it’s from a rather pretentious tv show, is “the universe is rarely so lazy”. meaning that good things happen for a reason, and that you trailed that path for that to happen. yknow what I’m saying? I can’t really explain this without writing a 10 page essay because that’s just how my gemini ass thinks 

3. If you could chose one person on the great beyond, would you take the chance to talk to them? 

you mean someone who has passed away? oh yeah, I would talk to my grandmother. she was raising me and died when she was 4 and that changed not only my entirely life but our whole extended family dynamic... so many questions.

4. From all your hobbies, which one would you love to make a living of?

oh man, writing. I’ve been dreaming of being a writer ever since I was 9 or something. never panned out but that would certainly be the dream. if I could work with videos, subtitling, tv shows, cinema etc that would also be dope as hell!

5. What’s your favorite color palette to wear?

fkgjfsdgiusfdksd I have no fashion sense whatsoever, idk? I do like to wear dark clothes (because weight..) and reds (because pale).

6. What’s your opinion on queerbaiting?

I don’t have the time for it. for starters, it’s something that usually comes from people with very poor writing skills that can’t come up with plots interesting enough to keep viewers/readers hooked in. that already says something. no offense to anyone who is a fan of shows like these, but when it’s mostly written by white men I just don’t have any high hopes for it. you can ask flavs what my reaction was like when I realized the character I had headcanon’ed as wlw in hannibal was actually a wlw. I couldn’t believe it, because what???? since when does that happen, especially in a show run by a white man??? kjdfghsjgd 

I think this is part of a bigger conversation but my point is, don’t fall for it. I know it’s all part of the fight for representation, asking big names to produce big shows with lgbtq+ characters in it and so on, but for the love of god, watch something else too!!!! let GOT rot and die!!!!!!!!! look up different, smaller, cheaper shows, that’s where you find lgbtq+ content creators!!!!!! there’s so many wlw webseries out there, you wouldn’t believe it. you have a choice. don’t give any more of your time and love and word-of-mouth to shows/movies that clearly have no interest in being more diverse. they don’t deserve you. 

and that’s not to say any of it is on us. quite on the contrary, they’re using us. but aside from calling out their bullshit, we do have a chance to boost lgbtq+ content creators. don’t let them fool you into thinking they’re doing you any favors, or that they’re our last chance so we should be paying attention to what they’re doing/saying. fuck them!!!! you can’t queerbait me because I don’t trust you or give you the chance to do it. and you can shove your very straight, very white shows where the sun doesn’t shine, @ hollywood.  

7. Is there a language you would love to speak?

french and korean, mostly. I can understand a little bit of both, but I really wish I was fluent :( oh, will to live and learn, where art thou...

8. Do you have, like, a dream so wild you think it’s impossible?

kjgnsfdkjhjjs having enough money to support myself and my mother??? I don’t have any big, wild dreams, I think. just.......... living comfortably would be a+  

9. How many AUs of your own life do you have in your head?

oh man. I keep thinking about living somewhere in idk iceland or scotland just like... tending goats or something. that’s the most comfortable version of myself I can think of.

I also like to imagine if I could handle being a film director, because that sounds like fun. maybe a screenwriter? anything creative in films, really. 

there’s also the unattainable dream of having a wife and idk maybe adopting a kid? and we’d just. support each other. and love each other. and that’s just. I. [cries]

I like to think how things would be if I were actually hot and not socially awkward.. I’d be someone completely different, basically lol 

10. If you were to meet your younger self, do you think they would think you cool or not?

oh god, younger me would hate present me D: I had such high hopes for myself, I had lots of dreams lol never in a million years did I think I’d be where I am today...

11. Not a question, but please add something postive about yourself, something that you love about you.

IDJFSSIODUGSDFKGDSJ IT’S LIKE YOU KNEW I’D BE A NEGATIVE FUCK, NINI. I................................ I like that I have an easy time with languages? or with classes in general. I like to learn from people, I’m just really unmotivated to leave the house lol 

now onto gray’s q’s:

1. What’s your favourite music video of all time?

straight-up impossible questions right out of the gate huh I SEE YOU, GRAY. I SEE YOU kjdfgjfsdhgkdsjfs

I’ll have to go with a few,

“prototype” by viktoria modesta is just GORGEOUS. I can’t get over this video & song and it’s been years.

“jackpot” by block b looks creepy as shit but the context makes it such a clever yet fun video. take into account that these guys were screwed over by the kpop company that created the group, and that the lyrics talk about hitting jackpot in an industry that’s savage to say the least. to me this video is a visual representation of what a dangerous trap entertainment companies are in the kpop industry, and it also ties in with the groups’ story of being made into dolls by a company and then telling them to fuck off in the end lol 

“treat me like your mother” by the dead weather. I don’t know why I just love it. (cw: gun violence)

“emperor’s new clothes” by panic! at the disco. I MEAN, LOOK AT IT.

“manyo maash” by puer kim. I just love the aesthetic?

honorable mention: “tick tick boom” by the hives because that’s a banger. ba dum tssss.

2. What’s a favourite memory of yours?

I have plenty of good memories, thank god. I think one of my favorites is just hanging out with my friends in 2008-9; one of their older brothers was driving us around town, we were listening to the white stripes at full volume, singing along, all sitting pressed up close together in his shitty car. man, my teenage years would’ve been fantastic if I had stayed there with them!! 

3. Do you play video games? If so, which one’s your favourite?

I DO!!! I mean, not as much as I’d like because a) no money to spare on games/consoles, and b) I suck at basically everything. but I’m obsessed with paladins these days, and I’m also a big fan of LOTRO. I like horror games--mostly the resident evil and silent hill type--and fps. I grew up playing some tomb raider, medal of honor, resident evil... oh, those were the days. 

4. How did you first get into [your fandom of choice]?

with bfu it was that kind of thing where I’d see a meme or two cross my dash and it was always this ridiculous screenshot, or those “that’s it, that’s the show” kinda things with dozens of thousands of notes... until one day I was incredibly anxious, and I needed to watch something or I’d never finish the assignments I had for college. so I just thought “oh hey I should check out that unsolved thing people like so much, it’s buzzfeed so it’s probably good bg noise to work with” lol and it did work, and I did finish my assignments, and that means that I first watched the show barely paying any attention to it because I was busy doing something else. but ryan’s and shane’s voices helped me relax and to this day they still help a lot with my anxiety, to the point that I need to keep coming back every minute or so during episodes because I get distracted just listening to their voices and not absorbing a word lol

5. How did you first get into fandom in general?

uhh.. well, I was a big “pottermaniac” (that’s how I called it) since I was 9, but that was before I realized fandom was a Thing on the internet too. I remember when I was maybe 10 or 11, I entered a chatroom (god, those were wild) just in time to see someone saying in all caps HARRY POTTER IS GREAT AND YOU’RE ALL DUMB FOR NOT SEEING IT or something fkdsjgfdugfsdk and it was this girl using the nickname fawkes. she was older than me, I think that 15 or something, and we exchanged addresses (!!! how am I alive!!!) and were pen pals for a while. but it took me so fucking long to actually find the fandom online that I think my first brush with it was with the arctic monkeys forum I found online in 2008, where I mistakenly said I liked “the muse” and people laughed at me so I never went back to it lol then in 2010 I found out about kpop and that’s when I really dived head-first into fandom life. took me long enough (tbf I was very against the notion of being a “fan” because I was an idiot).

6. What’s at the top of your bucket list?

great fucking question. no idea. I guess.. traveling overseas? if we’re talking wild, distant things. but closer to my reality, getting a job that pays me at least the minimum wage disjgdfgkfsdk #fuckinternships

7. What’s something not many people know about you?

I love dancing and miss it like hell.

8. What’s your favourite medium for storytelling - movie, book, television, musical, comic, internet video, video game, something else? Why that medium?

ohhhhhhh this is an interesting question. as much as I love writing, and think that’s one of the best things we humans have ever come up with, I do love.. musicals? not necessarily theater--although that’s great and I’d sell my soul to see chicago live--but I love the idea of telling stories through music. I really wish we could bring back the custom of telling stories orally, and through music, and that we could as society agree that collective singing is beautiful and should be reintroduced in our day-to-day lives. sure listening to (1) artist singing is great but hAVE YOU TRIED SINGING ALONG DURING A CONCERT WHERE EVERYONE ELSE IS SINGING TOO? best fucking feeling in the world. 

we had two bands in brazil, in different periods of time, that were so incredibly famous they’re still cornerstones in our music history. one was legião urbana, some folk-ey rock band that had a couple of songs telling these really long stories that I LOVE with all my heart. faroeste caboclo is our bohemian rhapsody, most people my age or older know the lyrics to it. and mamonas assassinas was this comical (?) rock band that sang dumb, fun songs that usually told stories too and that was the best. I miss that kinda thing. 

9. What’s your favourite food?

red meat, mainly churrasco. but I also can’t live without chocolate milk AND the whopper. capitalism has me by the stomach.

10. Do you have a joke to share?

fjgfsdgskfdgfsk I don’t.. it’s been so long since I last tried telling a joke, I don’t think I know any?

11. What song/artist helped you through your struggles?

pitty has been a big part of my life for some 14-odd years now. “be ok” by ingrid michaelson and “starlight” by muse were my anthems when depression hit hard during my teenage years. the white stripes has also been a constant, with gems like “blue orchid” and “a martyr for my love for you” turning into sort of theme songs for certain parts of my life. choi sam helped me through college. and even though they were a huge disappointment to the point that I stopped listening to them altogether, block b gave me a good 4 or 5 years of distraction from life.