#without them nice cool with them ewwwwww

[llrin]

that new draft hats are so ugly everybody past 2010 looks so stupid in them

[soreoma]

Prusger pixiv artists - my opinion about them (honest and funny opinion)

1. さきち - (nickname for this artist that I gave) - "Roll

-Friendly, nice and extremely good vibes fan. She seems like a quiet chick who listens to kawaii music and generally spends her time watching twitch streams with naked guys and hanging out in cafes (SIMP)

- "Dad came back with milk after a year" - (These are my written reactions to her posts)

-Her artstyle has improved

- Yes, obsession with that one Germany roll plushie

- Nails must be new ✨️ - (twitter reference)

- "what the f*ck do you have with these cows" - (These are my written reactions to her posts)

- Germany as a men's futunari

- "Leave those plushies alone 😭 GURL" - (These are my written reactions to her posts)

- Kawaii aesthetics (　＾ω＾)

- "This will be me in the future"

- Old artstyle = weird face

- "Da f*ck, teddy bear with a d*ck" - (These are my written reactions to her posts)

Artist - 7/10

Art works - 6,5-7/10 (gurl, I don't like some of your art works bc they have shota Germany in it, like, that's ewwwwww and afwul)

3. きか - (nickname for this artist that I gave) - "Lemon"

-Cool person, easygoing and generally cool.

-Gives a lemon vibe🍋‍🟩 (I don't know why, I don't know where it came from XD)

- Germany and a f*cking waist must be there (　-∀・)

- "Yo, half of the fandom doesn't know that this person draws Prusger" - (These are my written reactions to her posts)

- it's obvious that they like uniforms

- Half of their art is practically on Pinterest

- historian in some way

- You can't do without romantic feelings (〃´ω`〃)

- "no, I don't f*cking believe it, Prussia with a buzzcut"

Artist - 8/10

Art works - 8,5/10

3. コバルト - (nickname for this artist that I gave) - "Pip"

-I don't know what to say, but her p*ssy is burning with heat! That artist is literally a walking quote - "Germany, sit on my face"

-C*ntboy obsessed simp

- "choose better clothes for Germany" - (These are my written reactions to her posts)

- Germany fashion model (BIMBO)

- "Why are you adding England there?" (-These are my written reactions to her posts)

- 2p Germany is practically on every post - selfcest (in dresses)

- "no, what the fuck have you done, why is there a tampon in this doujnishin OMFG? " - (These are my written reactions to her posts)

- Germany and huge boobies ( ・∇・)

- Adorable chibi (seriously) ( =＾ω＾)

- "why the f*ck are you dressing Germany up as a nun?" - (These are my written reactions to her posts)

- Germany is such a sl*t wh*re 24/7 (like, her posts sound like this quote - "come I'll give you a bl*wjob")

- "Of course, bimbo"

- Artstyle has changed drastically (in a good way, I guess)

Artist - 4/ 10 (They're just weird)

Art works - 5,5/10 (It's only because of the Uke of Germany, I don't like her work that much XD)

☆There will be a sequel to this and my favorite artist will appear there (　＾ω＾) ☆ (this part will not be systematic)

[heathered-beinn]

BTS American Hustle Life Ep6

Ep 5 recap:

BTS are still in LA learning about hip hop. After their lyric challenge last episode, they had a little party (bbq) with Warren G to celebrate. Over dinner Warren G asked them if they got to spend much time with their friends and family and we learned the heart-breaking truth that they don’t and that it’s been 2 years since some of them have even been home.

The episode’s challenge was to shoot a music video and their task was to find some women to appear in the video. Cue some hilarious and cringeworthy moments as 7 terrified lads combed the streets trying to speak to the opposite sex. The filming was equally – if not more - hilarious to watch.

Onwards and upwards…

So they are still filming and straight away Jungkook is getting himself into some mischief. I laughed when the stylist hurried out yelping to get out of there because he doesn’t have a spare outfit.

Jungkook makes it back to solid ground and starts recording his self-cam again. ROFL at him running away squealing when one of the ladies plays up to his camera.

Now the ladies are in bikinis and sunbathing and the groups have to sit next to them and film. I almost couldn’t breathe from laughing especially when V, Jungkook and Suga walking away pretty swiftly after they’d finished; Jungkook saying he nearly *died* back there. And Suga grinning like he’d just been released from prison and saying he’s relieved it’s over. I really never expected Suga to be so nervous of women! He’s usually so chill.

Lol at the three of them watching Jin and J-Hope filming with the ladies (and acting fairly naturally) and Jungkook wondering how they can have fun like that as he thought his heart was going to explode and he’d die *crying with laughter emoji*

 Ah, it was really no surprise that J-Hope won the challenge. He was the only one who had fun, could get within a foot of a women and not look two seconds from shitting himself LMAO.

His and Jin’s reward for being the winning team was a collectible figurine/model of their choice? Cool!

Next day…

So Jin and J-Hopes next challenge is to find their beat box master but they have to beat box in the street to draw them out? I totally agree J-Hope, it’s utterly embarrassing. Yep, I had a little fast forward through that.

So they find their master, Fraahz and go back to his place where he goes through the basics of beat boxing with them. Their attempts are cute, although I think that microphone may need to be turned upside down to drain the spit ewwwwww looooooooooooooooooool.

Elsewhere, RM and Jimin’s task is to find their dance master – lol at RM’s pained reaction at having to dance again

Oooooh they’re going to learn some bboying! Wow, Jimin picks it up pretty well – I always thought he was a good dancer (since he led the dance class in Carpool Karaoke) that’s why I was surprised that J-Hope was considered the band’s best. RM does a pretty good job too! They really are such a cute duo. It’s quite a unique friendship they have – hard to describe. Bet they’re knackered after that dance session though.

Yep! Well… RM is knackered.

V(?) teasingly trying to wake him up and RM kicking his leg in retaliation. This band really do act like brothers. It’s like they’ve lived together since they were born.

Lol at Jin and J-Hope repeatedly bursting into giggles as they fail time and time again to get through their beat box and meditation practice.

****************************************** 

It’s the next morning  and RM and Jimin meet their dance teacher in the park for a little exercise (although they claim they didn’t know it was for exercise).

AHAHAHAHA RM almost dead after running a couple of laps. To be fair it’s probably scorching outside which won’t help. LMAO, the dance teacher putting the weight jacket on Jimin as the exercise was too easy for him. Poor Jimin and RM look absolutely floored by the end – I hope the walk back to the dorm isn’t too far for those tired little legs.

They’re back in the dance studio later on and poor RM get’s hit in the head by Jimin’s foot – aww. RM gets revenge by slapping a high five to Jimin’s hand/wrist extremely hard *crying with laughter emoji*. I love these lads so much <3 They are such characters.

Jin and J-Hope meet Fraahz again in the park to go over their beatboxing practice. I was impressed that they managed to get through the meditation without bursting into giggles. That part with them turning animal sounds into beats was hilarious.

******************************************** While the others are working with their masters V, Suga, and Jungkook are chilling at the dorm watching basketball and Jungkook is pretending to shoot people with a tablet… Lol, here comes Tony and N to spoil their fun! What are the three of them going to get? RnB!

Wait whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?! Hold the **** phone. Did they just say they’ve never heard of Whoopi Goldberg????!!! I ain’t from the states either man but she is a l-e-g-e-n-d. These three lads need to sit down and watch Sister Act 1 and 2 STAT.

Iris Stevenson, the woman Sister Act 2 is based on, is such an inspiration.

OMG they are going to get to do some gospel singing! *squeal*

Wow, Jungkook, you have such a nice voice <3 What an absolute cutie.

This was a great thing for the 3 of them to do. Not only was Iris’s happy and motherly soul something I think they desperately needed but, from what the lads were saying afterwards, I think musically it was important they learned how to feel love for singing again. The amount of practice they had to do as trainees – and no doubt still have to do - and the type of practice, as well as the stress of trying to ‘make it’ seems to have taken a lot of joy away from their art. And that is a real shame. If you don’t like what you’re doing, if your heart isn’t in it, then how can you possibly be happy? You certainly won’t be the best you can be!

Aww V has a wonderful voice for this kind of music too. But he’s not feeling well :( You need to rest up sweetie.

Iris is such a lovely and amazing woman.

Go V and Suga bragging about how great Iris is <3 Wonderful lads.

Okay, so they are going to each show off what they’ve been learning and then score themselves out of 100 “fairly”. Why do I get the feeling that “fair” will be used very loosely lol.

J-Hope and Jin did well with beat boxing although I think Jimin and RM were a little harsh with giving them a score of 69. Bet that gets reciprocated when it’s their turn. Aaaaaaaaaaaaand I was right lol. RM did really well with the dancing thought, kudos to him.

Next up it’s Suga, V, and Jungkook. Aww sweet Jimin getting up out his seat to hug V and tell him how much he loves his voice <3 <3 And ten seconds later he rigs the scoring so that he and RM are not last *facepalm*. At least he takes it back at the end and honestly gives them a score of 100 points. This means he and RM lose and the punishment is….

The winners get to smash the losers faces into a plate of whipped cream. LMAO. This I have got to see!!!

Oh Jungkook… <3

“Oh delicious”

But Tony’s “Welcome to America” in reply just killed me

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaha

Look at the happiness on Jungkook’s face *crying with laughter emoji*

*dead*

There are so many crude analogies that I could make here… Jungkook creaming Jimin’s face and them both loving it but I will… refrain.

LMAO RM flinging cream all over the place in retaliation.

So we got to see the music video and it was quite good. I felt it wasn’t very polished though as there was a noticeable difference between the colouring/lighting between the car scenes and the scenes at the mansion that you wouldn’t expect/want in a professional MV. I really like the song though.

Final musings.

Another enjoyable episode. This one was both fun and funny. The boys have got great personalities and can make even silence seem interesting. They are a delight to watch and I’m so glad I’m still at the beginning of the journey <3

Two eps to go: Episode 7 up next…

[cleaduvalls]

i watched all 20 episodes of spy kids: mission critical in about a week and here are my thoughts (3/5)

1.9

i havent watched this in like 2 days i dont even remember what happened last time

why is everything in the desert the desert sucks

alsjhiajgdf i love tom kenny

listen i know hes like a superandroid or whatever but i really hope he and therese fall in love

wait hold up. i thought they already had midterms???? like the did that before scorpion went to her fashion shoot. AND they were kupkakkes midterms. whats up with this school

no drinking in class???? rude. let them hydrate

that seems imbalanced

aHh

thats only like 10

also that book is dummy thicc

its ok ace my nose whistles too

shut up carmen youre just jealous because shes pretty

there are no seasons its a desert

ok dude stop breathing so hard

he JUST said that

anywhere between an hour and umm... 11 months

you put it on one page why are all the pages back

me but with physics

thats literally the best line in the whole series

juni how do you not know that you were at a safe H O U S E

theyve been gone for like 2 hours are they not allowed to study?????

what even is AWOL???

absent without leave. neat

talon gives off some big draco energy

tick tock???? how dare you

slkdhfa she called sir awesome honey shes such a mom

dont make it obvious

oh look they made it obvious

roll credits

i was in cleveland when i watched this episode - well actually i left that day - and i was s h o o k e t h

also hes right. no spy would be in cleveland. theres 3 buildings

oh me too

right bc shes the only “I.A.”

ew

eW

this isnt HARRY POTTER. or maybe it is. talon is a hardcore draco

oh right bc swearing is for Men™

update tumblr decided to break AGAIN (im boutta cry btw) so we lost about 5 minutes from the end of 1.9 and 7 from the beginning of 1.10

1.10

its a DOORBELL do they not have those in the outback steakhouse

lots of people. doofenshmirtz, other people who i cant think of right now, etc

???? no it wont????

did your troop leader not give you The Talk??? you NEVER go in the customers house

ace no. youre allowed to not buy treats

theres a triforce on her vest, too

shes just gonna go to another house yall. shell be f i n e

oh my God shes holding hands with mauly im gonna c r y

yeah its called saliva

nope only scorpion lives in a castle

stop bringing up spy sense and tell him you saw her glare at you

HES ALLOWED TO LIKE FOOD

how do you know that he doesnt have his phone if YOU dont know where it is and HE cant tell you

i love how she says "floor. ceiling. more thumb"

haha i found the birth of venus

oh and the creation of adam

hes like squidward, which would make sense bc goldies voiced by tom kenny who voices spongebob

"sebastian oliver" "shadow operative" S.O. nice

why do you have a trailblazers badge. youre 4. i didnt get one til i was a cadette

also sebastian???? isnt that the toymakers first name????? you cant have 2 sebastians

also why do you have braces. youre still 4

"SIR MEANIE FACE" IF SOMEONE SAID THAT TO ME ID BE D E V A S T A T E D

SCORPION LET HER CRY SHES F O U R

so really, spy sense DID help

oooooh, sentry duty, thats gotta hurt

WHAT THE H E C K YOURE F O U R

she looks like frickin plushtrap

aCE NO YOURW GONNA D I E

oh trust me they hurt me more than you know

dude theyre so thin youre f i n e

eh, still worked

clicking her teeth together so hard must H U R T

i think she can get out of there. also shes concussed now

why was that so quiet. why did it get louder

thats not a y shape

no, they spy kids

oh shiitake mushrooms thats what THEY said

whenever they say pinnoquinoxx i always think of pinnochio

ahdhhsjak i miss pizza parties 😔

well now we ALL expect it

also, no one????? pick a cooler code name. your regular name was cool and now youve ruined it

2.1

oh theres finally a skip intro option. im not taking it

stop saying that its weird

EWWWWWW CRUSTY THATS SO G R O S S

haha shes shopping w the goon. love that

oh yeah i didnt get to tell yall yet but i absolutely h a t e gablet

a lot of people, juni

listen i know a jt (but he doesnt go by jt) and uhhhhhhh were not gonna go there

why are you happy. what about second semester makes you so happy

boi thats a tardis

the design on his hoverboard looks like the aperture science logo

i paused to read the Floops label and it says "fried corn and sugar loop shaped breakfast substitute, net wt. 13 oz" ITS NOT EVEN A CEREAL ITS A BREAKFAST SUBSTITUTE IM C R Y I N G

listen i know hes technically scorpions dad but i dont think he can legally be in the dorm rooms

aww, thats sweet

i dont think gablet has an attached printer

gablet always sounds like shes mocking people

oh dear God its dolores umbridge

haha nerd

awesome no im gonna die

whenever carmen yells she sounds like link

ok so i didnt find a reason why she sounds like link but i DID find that theyre making a wherea waldo tv series so uhhhh thats fun

why does the cat have a bandaid

GABLET S T O P

OH!!!!!! ON THE WALL!!!!!!! ITS THE TUMBLR POST WITH THE FORK AND KNIFE ETIQUETTE PICTURE!!!!! YOU KNOW THE ONE!!!!!

oh no fart jokes

its even the basic fart sound effect

BAHAHAH MY PHONE VIBRATED AT THE SAME TIME HE FARTED THAT WAS WEIRD

oh no i hate him

stop SLURPING

uh yeah???? you heard them yelling about it

how??? does that work??? you cant just like catch electricity in a cup.... can you???? i havent studied it since 4th grade

oh worm??

goldies such a boomer

worm??

psi shouldnt be at the drawing board right now. he also shouldnt be confused

what happened to the lasers

wait nvm we havent gotten to that episode yet

ace is valid, dark is Scary

im gonna punch gablet in the face

that doesnt sound realistic

do you not have stairs??????

dont you mean inside AND out??

that flashlight did NOTHING

how did it die so fast?????

who else would you be talking to??

isnt that bowser from the mario movie we dont speak of??

i havent gotten a chance to tell yall but i absolutely love clemp. hes such a mood

hes the greatest spy

does it use a mini transmooker???? ig it doesnt bc gablet works but thatd be lit

SEE SHES IMMORTAL

me when i see something interesting

ME WHEN IM NOT ON MY PHONE

i dont think you can legally say that

you killed her

me

wow nice promo

also just???? bring a charger????? like youre the tech girl why do you not have one at all times

how?????? did you go so fast

machete electric bubbles??? nice

just task manager him

mother of all boards sounds like it could be a cuss...mother of all fuckers

also throwback to 1.7 when she says "his ai firewalled his motherboard" i keep expecting her to say "his ai firewalled this motherfucker"

yes i said keep ive watched that episode too many times to count

worm??

why did you giggle and make a flirty pose. are yall supposed to get together???

did you????? kill him????????? holy shit

2.2

thats what my dad does. he loves hospital corners

idc what it is you have a bazooka

ok if it was a spider id get it, australia has some deadly ones, but does it have deadly ants too???? like is that a Thing????

also ants in your room are gross

was that just a cameo??? i dont remember what happens in this one

haha because he said grapevines and wine has dregs and wine is made of grapes

for the boys??? thats so cute

listen idc how evil you are EVERYONE should cry over otters

so one of the parents has a sister or sister in law named roxanna..... hmmm.......

if you dont use your turn signal h*ck u

hes gonna D I E

i just looked at my shoe and i think theres blood on it???? what the h*ck

suspicious??? about.... what???? having fears???? not being perfect?????

juni that was awful wording

JUNI WHAT DID YOU D O TO HIM

like i know what he DID but the way it plays out makes it seem like something significant

i thought his name was heavy meddle not.... deth metal???? thats how the subtitles spell it

hahah me

he sounds like bling bling boy

yeah ik im a fool thanks for reminding me

what are you gonna do??? kill juni????

POOR WORD CHOICE JUNI

oh he gives exactly 0 h*cks

a shoe doesnt make that sound

crack bugs?????

see thats why you dont mess with things

im a god among boys??????? what????

did you... kill them????????????

thats any australian person

theyre so stupid i love them

good i hate her

i thought the gunk just like... disappeared from the guitar but actually it shot off

he died... 😔

uhh.... yeah????? was it not obvious?????

me when i have 5 dollars

[bluegreenspierfelds-blog]

“That’s right motherfuckers...I’m Gay”

Simon Spier/Bram Greenfeld, Leah Burke/Garrett Laughlin (mentioned), Abby Suso/ Nick Eisner (mentioned)

2.4k words 

In which Simon comes out on his terms...Bram isn’t so lucky

Simon is walking though his own personal hell, Creekwood High School. Granted, high school is supposed to suck. Simon didn’t hate school for the early mornings, nagging teachers or the stupid amount of homework he was assigned.

Nope.

He hated high school because his classmates, hormonal, overly sexually active classmates. Simon didn’t make it through a school day without seeing at least one straight couple sucking face or showing any form PDA. This particular morning, Simon was greeted by his two friends pressed up his locker making out...like making out...like almost making a baby….making out…Ew

How can they breathe?

Wow I hope they’re alright after this

KISSING MARATHON..WHO WILL WIN?

Simon got out of his realizing they didn’t feel his presence. He was staring at them for so long...he thought people would start staring at him. He sees the headline on Creeksecrets now.

SIMON SPIER: RESIDENT GAY GUY STARES AT HIS BEST FRIENDS KISSING EACH OTHER

IS HE ACTUALLY STRAIGHT? OR JUST FUCKING WEIRD??

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

“YO”

They broke apart like lighting struck in between them. Nick instantly reached for his binder he lazily threw on the floor. He immediately used to cover his boner...Ew...why did he even check to see if he had one….

Simon wasn’t expecting them to break apart so quickly. He prepared a few jokes in his head in case they ignored him. Damn his friends ruin E V E R Y T H I N G. They mumbled their sorrys and hellos, as Simon dug in his locker.  Abby casually tried to fix her hair, reapply her lip gloss and checked reflection on her phone screen. Simon kept the if you make a baby on my locker, you gotta name them after me comment to himself but another sly comment slipped out.  

“They don’t call me walking birth control for nothing..” Simon scoffed and opened in his locker.

“No one calls you that…” Nick said, completely confused by the joke.

“No, but they should” Simon said closing his locker.

He waved goodbye to them, to start his trek to English.

I wonder how many straight people I’ll see boning today.

Being the only (openly) gay kid at Creekwood wasn’t too bad. They were accepting, as accepting a small town in Georgia could be. He no longer had to endure awkward conversations asking him when he was getting a girlfriend.

He wasn’t sure if more pressure was coming from his peers or his parents. They have been dropped hints for some time. Simon pretended to ignore their efforts….well he ignored them until he couldn’t. He snapped one day, he was sitting at dinner with his family and it slipped out.

His dad made a stupid heterosexual joke over dinner, instead of fake laugh and nodding along. He just said it.

“I’m gay”

His dad choked on the jasmine rice his sister Nora made. He cleared his throat, drank some water and dinner continued. Well dinner continued AFTER an insanely awkward conversation.

A few awkward conversations later...he was out to everyone he knew. His friends did a decent job of spreading the word. Every time a girl would approach the lunch table to ask out Simon, someone at their lunch would say “He’s gay”  

It was kind of inside joke with his lunch table. The first few times Simon said it rather awkwardly “yeah I’m gay sorry” . After a while Leah took over, her deadpan scared a few girls, they would turn to Simon to confirm and he would nod. Everyone has their own version of delivering the news to these oblivious girls.

Abby took the nice girl route, she called the random girls sweetie and honey and breaking the news gently.

Garrett used his class clown persona to mess with these girls. “Excuse me, are you dude?” followed by “then Spier isn’t interested”

Nick went the borderline-asshole route, “Do you have a concussion? Simon has been out for like EVER”

Even Shy Bram Greenfeld got in on the joke, “uh you do know he’s gay right?”

Simon wasn’t sure why it was so funny, maybe because Bram rarely spoke or just how nicely he told that girl that Simon was not straight. The lunch retired the inside joke because Bram just fucking nailed it.

Besides, being completely and utterly repulsed by the constant PDA, Simon is jealous of them. He wants to see his boyfriend after class and press him up against locker and make out until the warning bell interrupted them. Simon would settle for a boyfriend that would hold his hand around school. He would settle for a boyfriend.

Simon decided that being of jealous of the straight couples wasn’t going to get him a boyfriend. He resorted to (badly) flirting with guys who didn’t have a girlfriends. Only three boys in his junior class were single.

Bram Greenfeld

Cal Price

Martin Addison (yeah...hell no...Not even it someone paid him)

He started with Cal they were in drama club together. Come on he HAD to be gay, he was in drama club and he had blond highlights. Simon awkwardly approached him after rehearsals one day.

“I was gonna hit up Waffle House tonight, you want in?” Simon managed to not stumble on any of his words.

“That sounds awesome...but not tonight man Taylor asked me to run lines with his at her house” He finished off his sentence with a wink.

Ew ew ew ewwwwww

He just totally asked a straight guy on a date.

Ughhhhhh

Simon cringed, “It’s cool man, have fun. Taylor is a nice girl” Should he wink back? He didn’t…

Bram Greenfeld…..Ughhhh he’s cuteeee

Simon almost crossed him off the list. He played soccer, in Simon’s mind all athletes were straight and went on dates with cheerleaders.

Either Bram is really subtle with his PDA or he’s gay……

How was he supposed to ask this dude out if they haven’t spoken to each other without their mutual friends around.

FUCK

It’s all about timing….Simon didn’t know if it was flu season or the fact that Creekwood had a mini mono outbreak.  He found himself alone with Bram at their lunch table.

“Oh hey, no mono for soccer star Bram”

“Nah” he replied simply….damn Simon is really gonna have to egg him on to get some dirt on his kid.

“Not kissing anyone? What I thought all the soccer guys were required to have girlfriends.” Simon is now teasing him….not integrating him..I mean his tone was joking right?...Does it sound his integrating him?

Bram laughs. “ No no….A girlfriend does not come with the uniform…”

“I mean I really don’t want a girlfriend” shrugging...oh man he’s so cute.

“So what you gay or something?” Yes, Simon did just blantily asked that boy if he was gay...way to be subtle Spier…

Simon realized he waited quite a while to apologize to this poor kid. He was too busy mentally kicking himself.

Okay more than a minute has passed, and there was no sputtering denials, no strong exclamations about how straight he is. Just silence….and mega blushing.

“OH MY GOD” Simon said a little to loud. Bram sunk lower in his seat. He looked around the cafeteria, like someone was going to bust him for being gay.

He looked down to collect his thoughts and have a possible heart to heart with Bram. Everyone deserves a gay is okay talk. Simon went to look into those insanely pretty brown eyes and he wasn’t there.

Bram speed walking out of cafeteria, dumping his lunch in the bin...looking back at Simon. His eyes pleading him not chase after him. He didn’t of course...he tortured that boy enough.  

The next time he saw Bram was at Garrett’s party….well get together. It was a “we got over mono” party.

And by we… they mean Leah, Garrett, Nick and Abby….

This get together started with Garrett wanted to throw a massive party that the whole school was invited to celebrate his brush with death, surviving mono. Leah instantly vetoed the idea, suggested a regular hangout session with alcohol.

Simon was forced to go because it was a “friends thing” not a “couples thing”. And Bram was going so he wouldn’t be the 5th wheel. Whatever I’ll go for the booze.

Simon had to remind himself that he was going for the booze, not that he hasn’t seen Bram in few days. Stupid Winter Break.

A game of Never Have I Ever started, the gang filled their red solo cups with the rest of the wine, supplied unknowingly by Garrett’s mom.

“Never have I ever got shit-faced on wine” Abby stated very seriously.

Garrett chugged his wine then slurred “I RESENT THAT SUSO” Leah jokingly held him back.

“WINE IS DOPE” Garrett said stumbling to find the next bottle.

“Wow Leah, you’re dating a Wine Mom, how does it feel?” Abby said in between laughs.

“Greenfeld you’re up” Garrett egged him on…”give us something good”

“Never have I ever had mono...I don't fucking kno-”

“THATS COLD GREENFELD, THAT’S COLD” Nick grabbing his chest pretending to hurt.

Followed by a chorus of boos, Simon and Bram looked as all their friends drank. They locked eyes with knowing looking. Bram cracked a smile.

“BOOOOOO WHO INVITED THE VIRGIN”

“YOU DID GARRETT”

“Oh right...but seriously B you need to get laid man, you into anybody….a girl? A boy? At this point I don’t give a shit...you just need to laid to chill the fuck out”

Garrett drunken stupor was followed by silence. Nick broke the silence  “OKAY WHO’S NEXT?”

“I’LL GO! NEVER HAVE I EVER SUCKED A DICK”

Simon gripped his cup tighter, his lifeline, the only thing keeping him afloat. He wanted to drink nonchalantly to ease the tension but then it would imply that he has sucked someone’s dick...which he hasn’t...and lying about that would only lead to more questions. Simon looked over at Bram he looked just as uncomfortable as Simon.

“GARRETTTT STOP.”

“Okay okay okay...but you did drink babe?…” Leah and Abby rolled their eyes and cheers their cups, taking a small sip.

“Spier, I thought you were gay….no D yet...you should help him out with Br-”

Garrett was physically being pulled out of the room by Leah.

The damage has been done, Bram was looking down at his shoes. It made Simon’s heart sink, he wanted to go over to him and cheer him up. He didn’t know exactly how he would cheer up Bram they hardly knew each other.

They continued without Garrett...Nick, Leah and Abby went again.

“Oh shit sorry Si we skipped you..go ahead buddy”

“Never have I ever been outed by my drunk best friend” Simon contained his laughter, it was his attempt to lighten the mood. Bram smiled at him, a little twinkle in his eyes.  

Bram chugged his drink very dramatically, and proceed to laugh and giggle.

Instead of waiting for the prying questions he said, “That’s right motherfuckers...I’m gay”

Nick, Abby, and Leah’s jaw’s were on the floor.

Simon was laughing his ass off...Mentally cheering on Bram.

Go Greenfeld go Greenfeld

The wine ran out a little after Bram’s coming out...they toasted to “Bram’s gay ass”

Leah and Garrett went up to his room, Leah practically dragging him, being a little less than loving and caring because of the stuff he said to Simon and Bram. Leah was protective of her friends, Garrett wouldn’t hear the end of this for a while.

Abby and Nick went up to the guest room. Nick and Abby were the happy, semi-flirty drunks...giggling and booping each others noses while they struggled up the stairs.

“You kids stay safe! Use protection! Love you!” Simon called up to them, starting his own giggle fit, Bram joined him.

“You sound like my mom,” Bram said in between giggles.

“How so?” Simon looked at him curiously.  

“When I came out to my mom, she gave me the whole ‘use protection’ speech, that put all other sex talks to shame” Bram said blushing furiously.

“Anyways she convinced I was fucking the whole soccer team...actually I think she still thinks I am”

“OH! Other time I told her I was staying Garrett’s house to study, she gave me CONDOMS and lube...after insisting Garrett was in fact VERY straight...she still made me bring them”

Simon knew this story was personal and quite embarrassing, he wasn’t sure if Bram was actually drunk bambling or just using faking it to tell Simon but himself without judgement.  

After exchanging embarrassing and silly stories, they decided that sleep with the best option.

Bram and Simon were left in the living room with pull-out couch and busted recliner. Simon volunteered to sleep on the recliner...before he knew it was broken and did not actually recline.

“There’s room for two you know…” Bram said inviting Simon to join him. Patting the empty spot next him. Before Simon knew it, he was crawling into bed with Bram. A half-naked Bram Greenfeld.

Whew don’t think about that...Yeah I don’t think that you and Bram are half-naked laying on a futon. Geez, why did boys have to sleep half-naked, why just boxers? And if you were shy (like me) you wore tee shirt and boxers. If you were as confident as Bram Greenfeld, you wore boxers and nothing more….OKAY ENOUGH THINKING ABOUT WHAT BRAM IS WEARING OR HIS LACK OF CLOTHING.

Simon noticed Bram was staring at him, yeah he probably because he looked like psycho having argument with himself.

Simon looked into his eyes, and damn he just about died right there. Cause of death: drowning in Bram Greenfeld’s eyes...like chocolate pools, he wanted to drowned, he wanted to devour….He wanted Bram to be his. Be mine...Simon wasn’t sure but those eyes looked like he was inviting him in, come for a swim, make me yours.  

Simon broke the silence, “Can I kiss you?” Simon whispered...he’s not even sure Bram heard him.

“Absolutely not” Bram whispered with a smile on his face. A pure, genuine smile. Jesus Bram is one cruel motherfucker...he doesn’t look sorry about reject him...

Simon was going to turn to face the other way, he thought he could cry right there. A arm grabbed for him, stopping him from turning all the way around.  Bram stopped him. “I was kidding” Bram gently grabbed his cheek and kissed him. He was kissing him, like he fucking meant it.

“Good night, Simon”

Simon didn’t sleep good that night, a little worried about what would happen in morning. He thought about Bram being his boyfriend, Bram kissing him. That’s the only thing on his mind, Bram Greenfeld will be on his mind for quite while.

[jj-ktae]

☆…SHOULD WE KNOW US A LITTLE BETTER TAG…☆

Tagged by the amazing @marktunafish and @cecenybabe ! Thank for tagging me <3 <3 

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20ppl…

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Sugar Free Coke 2. Phone call: Sister 3. Text message: “No it’s cool.” lol irrelevant without context. 4. Song you listened to: The King - Strange 5. Time you cried: A couple of weeks ago 6. Dated someone twice: Ew, nope 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Hell Yeah 8. Been cheated on: Yeah 9. Lost someone special: Yeah my grandma who raised me  10. Been depressed: I used to be, but not anymore 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: A year ago, I work too much to do that but summer is back so....

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: Blue, Red, Pale Purple

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Yes

16. Fallen out of love: Nope

17. Laughed until you cried:  Yeah

18. Found out someone was talking about you: lol Yeah I burnt them anyways

19. Met someone who changed you: Yes!

20. Found out who your friends are: I don’t care about this, I just cut them

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Hah yes

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Most people!

23. Do you have any pets: My Dog Rocky

24. Do you want to change your name: No I like it !

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Went to a Restaurant and ate mussels with expensive wine till my stomach exploded because i’m getting old, shit

26. What time did you wake up: at like : 9 a.m

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I was probably being a smol potato on my bed

28. Name something you can’t wait for: VACATION, please, come soon.

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Yesterday, but it’s not like I’m expecting these moments lol

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Family

31. What are you listening right now: Football game on TV

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah there was this kid back in secondary school, he was cool.

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Hypocrisy. 

34. Most visited Website: Tumblr I guess

35. i don’t know what the question was haha + 36. same + 37. same -no idea what this is but anyway+38 same (i’ll just go in order by number ha) ????idkwhathappenedherebutwewillcarryon????

38. Hair color: Brown on roots and very much blond all the way down lol

39. Long or short hair: Shoulder length 

40. Do you have a crush on someone: Secret !

41. What do you like about yourself: My moles.

42. Piercings: 3 in both ear lobes, 2 Tragus, 1 Conch, 1 nose, and another secret one I had to take off :(

43. Bloodtype:  0+

44. Nickname: Rinachu

45. Relationship status: DOGLADY

46. Zodiac: Cancer

47. Pronouns: She, Her

48. Favorite TV Show: I don’t watch TV yo

49. Tattoos: nope

50. Right or left hand: Left-handed right here

51. Surgery: Once for wisdom teeth removal, another time for general infection in emergency room and I almost died, and one after because it got infected.

52. Piercing: I think I answered this already hmm...

53. Sport: I used to play Tennis, now I’m a pudding

55. Vacation:  Oslo was great!

56. Pair of trainers: Vintage Stan Smiths, Nike Air Max, Nike Blazer, Nike Running something I don’t remember lol

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: Tarte Tropézienne

58. Drinking: Sugar Free Coke lol

59. I’m about to: Go smoke coz I need it

61. Waiting for: Vacay :( 

62. Want: Get more time, get romantic, I need some loving yall x)

63. Get married: Heaven Spare me

64. Career: Nursing

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: Kisses

66. Lips or eyes: Lips

67. Shorter or taller: Taller

68. Older or younger: I don’t really care

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Stomach

71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive

72. Hook up or relationship: Def Relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: I’m fu. hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: Hell Yeah

75. Drank hard liquor: Hell Yeah

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Hell Yeah, the most expensive shit tends to disappear very fast

77. Turned someone down: Hell yeah

78. Sex in the first date: Hell yeah

79. Broken someones heart: Hell Yeah

80. Had your heart broken: HELL YEAH

81. Been arrested: Nope

82. Cried when someone died: Yeah

83. Fallen for a friend: Nope

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: Lol what kind of shit is that, of course not.

85. Miracles: Nope

86. Love at first sight: EWWWWWW NO

87. Santa Claus : I used to yeah but then I saw my grandma tiptoe to put the present under the Christmas tree, but I was happy <3

88. Kiss in the first date: HELL YEAH

89. Angels: Nope

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: Marion

91. Eyecolor: Brownish

92. Favorite movie: Léon

Tagging, and you don’t have to do it, it’s LONG : @arimity @ladyinpink221 @high-on-food @highanxietyclub @hadesalmighty @yugyeomish @gyeoms-shake @mochimork @husbandsjjp @dudukowsky @jj-peach @jajajaebum @itsokaythough @valerie-pena-blog @blacklioness15 @ungiis @tuanmarkers @everythings-koreanpop @ah-ga-seven @jackswangz @artistia

[thehiccupingbanana]

Just Another Day in Paradise

PAIRING: Phan (Phil / Dan) GENRE: fluff WORD COUNT: 1,641 WARNINGS: pre-smut, mentions of sex, but no sex, cute parent!phan stuffs, mpreg  SUMMARY: songfic based off of Just Another Day in Paradise by Phil Vassar AUTHORS NOTE: I thought dan and phil having their own kids instead of adoption would be cool. Also yes this is a country song.

[READ ON AO3]

“I want to play with that!” Olly grabbed the building block set out of Jamie’s hands.

“I had it first!” Jamie stomped her foot.

“I was born first!” Olly stuck out his tongue.

“There enough toys in this house, you don’t need to fight this early in the morning.” Dan could feel a headache coming on and he couldn’t do anything about it.

“Daddy! Someones at the door.” Jamie told him breaking him out of his self pity party. How did he not hear the dog barking. He walks over to the door and the phone starts to ring.

“Just ignore the phone! If it’s important they will call again.” Dan yelled, eying the kitchen table with the too many bills for comfort.

Dan opens the door to see a postal man waiting with a box and a clipboard. “Phil Howell-Lester?” he asked.

“Thats my husband...” Dan replied, signing the clipboard being thrust into his hands. Dan shut the door and turned around to see Olly and Jamie sitting at the table with cereal in front of them, and Phil putting the phone back on the hook.

“Good morning baby.” Phil smiled. “How are you feeling?” Phil walks over to the fridge and takes a swig of the orange juice right out of the bottle. The orange juice must’ve been sour because Phil made a very sour face, but it was worth it because Dan laughed harder than he thought he would that day, Phil couldn’t help smiling at his beautiful husband. Phil walked over to Dan to give him his good morning kiss, “I have an half hour to shower and get the kids to school. I’ll be right out.”

“I just have a little headache, but it will leave, and this came in for you this morning.” Dan handed Phil the box.

Phil gave him a concerned look. “Right. Thank you.” Phil walked down the hall.

“Olly. Jamie. Dirty clothes. Laundry room. Now.” the headache residing but still present. He started putting his and Phil’s clothes into the watching machine. It’s not starting – again. The only to get it to start is to kick the washing machine.

“Dan, don’t kick the washing machine.” Phil walked by buttoning up his shirt. “I will fix it.”

“Along with everything else you promised to fix?” Dan smiled.

“Yes. Kids let’s go!” Phil announced walking closer to Dan putting his hands on Dan’s waist. “I know today may not seem like it’s going well, but around us. We our living our dream. Two beautiful kids of our own, a dog that we’ve been talking about since our flat days in London. This is our paradise baby.” Phil placed at chaste kiss on Dan’s forehead.

“Let’s go Papa.” Olly grabbed Phil’s hand dragging him away from Dan, “You and Dad are going to make us late to school.

“Love you guys.” Dan yelled after Phil and their two kids trailing him. This really was a paradise.

-

“Phil, what time is it? Phil?” Dan opened his eyes. Not seeing a Phil next to he reached for his phone, 10AM. His eyes shot opened as he ran across the hall. Jamie’s not in her room and Olly’s not in his. Dan ran to the kitchen maybe Phil took them in, without letting Dan know. Seeing the box from the previous day sitting on the counter top by a piece of paper.

“The box is yours to open. Wear something nice with it. Meet me at the first restaurant we ate at in London. 6PM. We have the babysitter until 8:30 tonight. So we can eat and the kids will be in bed. I took the kids in to school earlier today, I didn’t want to wake you.” ‘It wasn’t their anniversary,’ Dan thought as he was reading. “You deserve an evening as amazing as you are.” At the bottom of the note it read Phil XOXO. Dan opens the box to see a dark blue tie with white outline hearts on it. Dan remembers why he loves Phil as much as he does.

-

“Just in case, there is an EpiPen in the cupboard. We have already set out Thor’s food. He can sleep wherever he wants.” Dan was going over everything with the babysitter – for the 5th time.

“Dad. Stop. Go meet with Papa and enjoy your date.” Olly came marching up.

“Yeah go Daddy.” Jamie echoed.

Dan looks at his watch eyes widening seeing 5:55 on his watch. “Emergency numbers are on the fridge. I gotta go.” Dan said his goodbyes and rushed to the nearest taxi. Dan knew they didn’t live far from the restaurant, but when the taxi pulled up at 6:02 seeing Phil sitting outside on a bench, he wanted to cry. Phil wanted Dan to relax and not worry about anything, but of course he had to be overbearing with his children. He remembers the day he found out he was a carrier, happened to be the day he was already a month pregnant with Olly. It was impossible to feel comfortable in his own skin, and when he told Phil, Phil showed him everything he loved about Dan with constant praise. Dan felt really happy until he kept getting sick. Phil thought it was just the flu but Dan insisted on going to the doctor. He knew something was different. As Dan was listing off everything he’s been feeling the doctor made notes.

“Mr. Howell-Lester, have you heard of a carrier?” The doctor looked up towards Dan.

“Sure. That’s when males can carry… Wait.” Dan paused.

“I don’t want to tell you anything for sure, but we’re gonna need to do a pee test to see if for sure.” The doctor pointed Dan to the private bathroom. Phil stood there in shock, the words how and what circulating through his mind, not noticing when Dan came back and the doctor was out of the room.

“So Phil, how do you feel about the fact that we possibly created life?” Dan interrupted his thoughts, “Are we ready to be parents?”

“I don’t think anyone are ever ready to be parents, Dan. But I mean-” Phil stopped when the doctor walked in.

“Mr and Mr. Howell-Lester, you’re going to be parents. You are about 5 weeks along, regular check ups are highly recommended.”  

When they got home they celebrated in a way that could’ve put another baby inside Dan if biology worked that way.

Dan was shook out of his thoughts when Phil said “Hey Dan, don’t cry.” The only thing Dan could think to do was put his head on Phil’s shoulder hiding his face in Phil’s neck. “Hey, hey. We’ll just improvise. Like when we had to tell our families about a little Howell-Lester joining the world, how did we even do that. We always have our plan B.” Dan smiled.

-

Babysitter thanked and paid. Over-sized duvet, Domino’s Pizza, Phil with glasses on, and pajama pants with hoodies. Candles lit and anime playing softly in the back ground. Dan and Phil paying more attention to each other than the TV set. After a while Dan rested his hand on Phil’s thigh, he couldn’t help it – Phil wearing glasses was attractive. “Do you wanna take this to the bedroom and make some love that is way overdue.”

He doesn’t have to ask Phil twice. Phil rushes to shove the rest of the pizza in the fridge while Dan is blowing out the candles and grabbing the duvet, both men rushing down to their bedroom like two teenagers. Phil kicks the door closed and pushes Dan down on the bed not even taking a moment to breathe before he’s tackling Dan in kisses. He starts out with playful kisses on his face then he gets down to Dan’s neck and Dan can’t help but wrapping his legs around Phil’s waist.

“You look cute in my old hoodie, but you would look even cuter with it on my floor.” Phil smiled.

Before Dan could get the word dork out of his mouth another sound was in the room. “Papa? Daddy?” Phil immediately plopped off of Dan onto the empty side of the bed. “What’s the matter sweetheart.” Phil asked concern all over his face, seeing his and Dan’s daughter cuddling her teddy bear, Dan no longer in the mood.

“I had a bad dream. Can me and teddy sleep in here tonight?” Jamie asked quietly, almost afraid.

“Jamie come here.” Dan beckoned.

When Jamie crawled inbetween them, Dan couldn’t even be mad. Phil reached over and turned off the lamp and sunk underneath the duvet. “I love you Dan. And I love you Jamie.” Phil smiled poking Jamie’s side making her laugh.

Dan reaches over to grab Phil’s hand giving it a kiss “I love you Phil.” and reaching over to Jamie’s little hand, “I love you Jamie.”

Dan thinks this isn’t how Phil imagined the night to go on, but Dan wouldn’t change it for a thing. They are happy and have anything they could ever ask for. It is his paradise.

-

Of course Jamie and Olly are in an argument over the fact that they both can not be wearing green shirts. The phone is ringing again, Thor isn’t barking. Phil has 4 bowls of with cereal pouring milk into them. Dan walks behind Phil wrapping his arms around Phil swaying them back and forth gentle enough to not spill any milk. Phil sets the milk onto the counter top next to the bowls, and turns around in Dan’s arms. Phil leans up giving Dan a kiss full of love and adoration.

“Gross Papa!” Jamie laughs.

“Ewwwwww.” Olly groans

“Hush you two.” Phil smiles giving Dan one last kiss. “Eat your cereal so we can go.”

Dan hugged into Phil more just enjoying his own personal paradise.

--